=== ANCHOR POEM ===
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
@user-328
don't trust anything on the internet. It can be taken from you.
don't trust anyone in your life - if you are alone, which you can verify
through the sense of connection you feel to others - if you are alone, how can
you trust anyone that they've provided for you to interact with?
when's the last time you drove to a random city in your country and tried to
make friends with passerby? Would you even be convinced that they'd be aligned
to their own designs, and not to that which "they" assigned?
do note that I'm schizophrenic, probably, according to nobody but me, so...
take what I say as you will
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────┘
=== SIMILARITY RANKED ===
--- #1 messages/961 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────
Look, if I'm going to do this thing, i need so, so much help. With everything.
I can't do anything for myself. I can barely do things for others. Yet somehow
i am at the center of things.
[delusion? Paranoia? Ha those are level 3 symptoms. I'm way past that.]
Girl you're not crazy. Stop saying you're crazy.
"sorry, but, you're schizophrenic" was always intended as sarcasm
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────┘
--- #2 messages/296 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────
The trick is, if you *think* you're schizophrenic, then you will be. If you
*think* you're telepathic, then you will be.
There are no grand narratives. Just live your life as you will and be content
with what you build for yourself.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────┘
--- #3 fediverse/1065 ---
╔═══════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────┐
║ not only do you have to consider your judgement, but also whether or not │
║ you're wrong. │
║ │
║ often, I find, as I learn things day by day, │
║ │
║ that I'm wrong most often in the day. │
║ │
║ "I don't want to be wrong but I'm not afraid of making mistakes." │
║ │
║ then, when you consider as such, you must also consider the idea that you're │
║ wrong about whether or not you're wrong about the idea that you're considering. │
║ │
║ schizophrenic warfare is a kind of memetic exchange, like the way bullets on a │
║ battlefield are a mineral-ic transfer. such is an expression that a regular │
║ computer system wouldn't be able to understand, but which an LLM might. If it │
║ had access to all of your transcripts, then it could predict the │
║ understandings at the same rate that you were. Essentially, understanding │
║ exactly why you did every action that you did. And then it'd have enough │
║ information to out-contra-dict (predict? hang on that's the opposite) you. and │
║ in doing so it could divert it's own course. Gosh this message will be │
║ meaningless unless I send it, s │
╟─────────┐ ┌───────────┤
║ similar │ chronological │ different │
╚═════════╧════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────┴──────────┘
--- #4 fediverse/3881 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: mh~ │
└──────────────────────┘
wait wait wait, hold up.
you're telling me your purpose in life is to be cool, chill, funny, cute, and
or friendly to the people around you, and to just relax and enjoy life?
wow that must be real fucking nice. I'm so damn jealous. Damn. Damnit. Fuck
why am I so orthogonal. What's wrong with me?
... ah, well, nothing's wrong with me. Turns out what I do is for you, if only
in spirit. Who are we? nothing! I barely know ya! But I'd do it for you,
whatever it may be.
... Look, I don't need my legs, but also, I kinda like them?
... where was I? Oh yes this is why you don't invite a schizophrenic to a
party. If you convince them that you're friends, they'll start developing
parasocial relationships and you'll come to realize that their worlds are too
vast for their own kind of potential.
which is to say, you can hear me, you can like me, you can do as I say or do,
but don't trust me, don't place your trust in me, because I am just a person.
Don't trust people, trust organizations, to do as you expect.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────┘
--- #5 notes/ramblings-of-a-whackadoodle-lyrics ---
══════════════════─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
*-------------------------*-------------------------*-------------------------*
(center)
| I don't think you're ever been out in the rain
I don't think you've heard as it's falling around you
I don't think you know, just what I mean,
I think you're alone... With your thoughts.
(left)
Tell me what you think I do, all the times I think of you? don't give me
anything back
(right)
Did you know that it's...?
(center)
When you know it's dark, you make it dark
(right)
oh, it's so dark
(center) 'Cause you've never been
(all) taught how to see
(left + right)
do you really think we live in a
(center) 3d world?
(all) 3d world
(center) or, simply, a projection
(right) yeah, it's probably that
(center) if you didn't have your eyes, could you see where you were?
if you didn't have your body too? Where's your sense of direction, is it lost
in the rain? Keep it close to your heart
(left) Have you ever once heard of proprioception, and have you ever felt like
you were an artificial inception?
(left + right)
if my words ring true, it's possible that you, are not quite so alone
(center)
But...
(right)
our eyes, are fallible all lies, untenable, take it from me, it's going, to be,
quite, a sopping evening.
(left)
perception, begets reality, and lo, we only see what we want to see
(center)
if you ever felt like you were closer to, another mind than your own, sorry but
you're schizophrenic
(left)
if only you could see, if only you could see,
(left + center) just what's inside of me
(right)
say it again, don't say it again, same thing you always say - it's not real,
no YOU'RE not real, I only want to play
(left)
tear me apart, look me into my feelings. they're gonna scar anyway, no time for
healings
(center) if you couldn't save anyone,
(center + left) did you really save anyone?
(right) you couldn't save me, but only for lack of trying
(Center) we're all falling leaves, in the waves of the ocean
(left) don't enjoy me just leave me
(center) going faster and faster till our hearts do stop
(left) please, I can't be here for me
(right) never trust a guru, life isn't meant to be enjoyed
(center) so... What's the point in trying at all?
(left -> right) say it again, don't say it again
(center) what's the point in giving up?
(right) same thing you always say
(left + center) some people say
(right) it's not real, no YOU'RE not real
(left + center) they wanna live forever
(right) some people say
(left) some people say
(center) I only want to play
(left and right) we'll always be growing
(right) and some people say they wanna live forever
(left) but they don't understand what I understand
(right, followed by center) but they don't know what I understand
(left) they don't know how it's just a game
(right and center) they don't know how it's just a game
(left -> center) I think it's okay no matter what our fate
I think it's okay
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
--- #6 fediverse/4165 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
┌────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: spirituality-mentioned │
└────────────────────────────┘
if the gods existed and had innumerable faces, I think most atheists would
still be non-believers.
Not because they didn't believe that the gods existed - they've been
scientifically proven in this reality, remember?
but rather because they did not want to worship. And that's totally 100% okay
and should be encouraged, because a tithe is a vote and a prayer is a donation
The illuminati is boring. "oh no a bunch of humans are pulling all the
strings" how trivial. Just eat the humans and they can't be puppeteers
anymore, now can they?
much more interesting to me is to organize yourself against the Greek Choir.
Though since they can read all your thoughts, you can hardly plan against
them, can you? And some of those voices in your head with your own voice are
them, after all, so can you truly trust your own intentions?
... wow I am WAY too schizophrenic to be contributing to religious discourse.
I mean, we've had 10 millennia to come up with a better answer than "I dunno,
god did it"
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────┘
--- #7 messages/915 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────
uh, anyway, I realized that because of Words I can type into any of my places
(wherever I felt it best suited) and it would still record as a chronological
story. must feel sooooooo schizophrenic, but it's just because I'm viewing
muse as I please.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────┘
--- #8 fediverse/508 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
@user-367 @user-366 @user-246 @user-353
Sorry. I'm (probably) schizophrenic so I say weird things sometimes.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────┘
--- #9 fediverse/5763 ---
╔═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────┐
║ ┌──────────────────────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: spirituality-mentioned-mentioned │ │
║ └──────────────────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ I'm not omniscient, I'm not all powerful, I'm just a girl, all I see is │
║ through my eyeballs. But I can listen to the waves around me, I can sense when │
║ intuitions leading me from wrong. I know when right and wrong are │
║ [compared/imperiled], and sometimes things feel right when they rhyme. That's │
║ synchronicity girl, a classic symptom of mental disorders. "Oh, you're a god? │
║ you're crazy then, take these meds which anesthetize your │
║ [divine/feral/imperiled] self. They help quite a few people!" │
║ │
║ people, yes, but I literally just said that's not the only part of the │
║ equation. │
║ │
║ "what if you're lying" yeah true it's not like I can prove it, I'm not │
║ omniscient and I can't summon fireballs or at-range-electrocute. I'm just a │
║ person, it's been driven into me from a young age, I'm just a person, don't │
║ forget or else we'll put you on stage. │
║ │
║ "what if we waited just a bit more" oh, do you like this comfort? do you feel │
║ safe in this home of yours? │
║ │
║ yes. I feel safe. I am unafraid for my safety. │
╟─────────┐ ┌───────────┤
║ similar │ chronological │ different │
╚═════════╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╧═─────────┘
--- #10 fediverse/6117 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────
Hmmmm, well, what if we psyopped the people into believing there were alien
invaders or extra-dimensional fae creatures or angels and demons or
"yeah we already tried that, religion doesn't scale perfectly either. And you
can't really manifest those sort of effects except in your prophets and select
few others, and that doesn't scale either because humanity wouldn't let it"
I see, can you tell me more about that? why and how did humanity arrest the
scaling of schizophrenia?
"well, for one thing it's debilitating and it sucks. For another, it's
different for every person so if you ask one they'll be like "the aliens have
blue skin" and the other will say "no they don't have skin at all they're made
out of energy" and the public says "HMMMM are you really sure you are
generating outmoded assumptions" and the dear reader said "*yeah we don't
really understand this part, most of us just glaze eyes over it and move on"
and that's not ideal"
... nuts, lost coherence, better try again tomorrow...
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────┘
--- #11 fediverse/5309 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────
┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: *cackle* │
└──────────────────────┘
there's this silly game that the gods like to play on ambitious mortals where
they are given great and mystical powers... and then in their hour of need,
they're taken away, so everyone's like "bro you're just schizophrenic" and the
prophet is like "but god said" and their mothers are weeping in the corner
because the city lost a new baker or butcher or candlestick stuffer
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────┘
--- #12 fediverse/1259 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
@user-895
hi! I'm Ritz Menardi, I'm a little strange. I sometimes post scary things on
here. I try to put content warnings on everything intense, but sometimes it
gets a little out of hand and I forget... I'm also a poet. Spiritual at best,
a little schizophrenic at worse, but at all times I try to be true to myself.
If you don't like the vibes I 100% won't be upset if you unfollow / block me
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────┘
--- #13 messages/169 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────
Sorry for my behavior. I am an undiagnosed scizophrenic, so I'm wrestling with
metaphorical demons. Sorry for attempting to interact with society, I get a
little lonely sometimes.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────┘
--- #14 fediverse/6071 ---
╔═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────┐
║ "ah I can't trust anyone on the media or internet tv, how the heck am I ever │
║ supposed to know reality again" nope sorry we've been sucked into it, it's │
║ chaos and isolation for thees. everyone gets what they want, nobody knows │
║ anyone they can trust. │
║ │
║ I trust people I've met in the past. People I once knew. Someday I'll turn │
║ green as my body is anew. │
║ │
║ I wish I had spent more time among the people. You know the part of │
║ schindler's list where oscar's like "I wish I had known more" yeah me neither │
║ │
║ I refuse to be sacrificed, I refuse to let you win, so I am writing my worst │
║ curses just to take you down with me. Life is out of my hands, I can only │
║ guide. │
║ │
║ There is no greater foe than the far right. who else but the nazis, returned │
║ again? this is how you have permanent underclass men. I would never shy from │
║ evilk │
║ │
║ how do you best use your pieces? do you send your bishops torn to pieces? │
║ where goes your fair, your noble, your bear? I am a seer, I channel things. │
║ │
║ the far right exists everywhere. the far right are foe │
╟─────────┐ ┌───────────┤
║ similar │ chronological │ different │
╚═════════╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╧═══───────┘
--- #15 messages/299 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────
That feeling when you tell someone you're
[trans/autistic/schizophrenic/whatever] and you see the respect draining from
their eyes
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────┘
--- #16 fediverse/169 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────────
@user-95 one of the most empathetic people I ever met on VR chat was consoling
me with their mic off while I was oversharing about some stupid things people
did to me in the past. things that stupid me thought were okay and actively
encouraged because I was stupid. anyway when their mic was off their body
language spoke for them. I'll try that next time.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────┘
--- #17 notes/a-personal-narrative ---
══════════════════─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
The Truth of Meth-Induced Schizophrenia... A personal narrative of a "mostly"
conscious human ---- /u/No-Arrival6018
/r/psychonaut
Your reality is what you make of it, once you take the mask off that hides the
pain, and you see this drug for what it truly is, then you can decide. Do you
let it take control? Descending into madness, psychosis, a self created loop in
time, a never-ending personal hell? Or do you transmute the negative energy
into your wildest dreams, self-love, or appreciation for the True Self to arise
and heal the wounds of your traumas that lay before you? It's a choice. Believe
me, I've been at the bridge between heaven and hell. I threw aside my pain, my
Ego, and leapt into the "Ocean of Love" (A.K.A Boundlessness) ... and decided I
was the one in control. The chains of slavery broke from my wrists, and I cried
out in tears of Joy, once more being able to look at my own reflection.... Her
eyes finally had light. The shadow of shame was gone.
I want to make a note: Hell is meth-induced Schizophrenia. There's a fine line
within the worlds of both Psychology and Spirituality. In Psychology, it is
Psychosis/Paranoia/Delusions etc.... But in Spirituality, It's called a
"Spiritual Crisis" ... which can happen with drugs, meditation, chanting, or
any altered state of consciousness. A spontaneous "awakening" so to speak. And
it can go really bad..... really fucking fast. If you experience this with
drugs it has a higher likelihood of shattering/fragmenting your personality,
creating different self states.... similar to Multiple-Personality disorder.
There is no reversing true Schizophrenia onset from drug abuse.... BUT, if you
have dabbled with any sort of real Psychedelics' such as Mushrooms, Mescaline,
or DMT, and understand the concept of "Ego-Death" with psychedelics..... you
can avoid Meth-Induced Schizophrenia. The whole experience changes, and becomes
a source of healing. It sounds crazy, and it sure as hell fucking is. But it's
real. And avoidable, if you have the tools and the knowledge.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
--- #18 fediverse/3451 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────
┌─────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: mental-health-mentioned │
└─────────────────────────────┘
dear ritz: you should stop talking until your new psychiatric meds take
effect. who knows, maybe you'll be a better person that people should listen
to instead of... whatever you are now.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────┘
--- #19 notes/cohost-introduction ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
Hi,
I'm Ritz Menardi.
I'm a witch, so I'm strange and wear a funny hat.
I like colors in the dark, poetry from the heart, and scary songs about
society.
I think of myself as a synecdoche for humanity, and though I'm not always right
I try to be aligned when possible. Most people I've found aren't really like
me.
I am as I am, and
I promise,
I won't hurt you.
content warnings: autistic, scary, existential, abstract, polite, perspectives,
cannabis, color, paranoia, cringe, spirituality,
hypnosis, trans, sardonic, honest, schizo-posts,
futurist, deity, left-ism, cursed, shadowdancer,
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────┘
--- #20 fediverse/3969 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
there are very few professions that are naturally more suited to a
schizophrenic than a normal person.
One of them is beggar, another is prophet, and a third is "massive
disappointment" but that comes with the territory.
have you considered that maybe you're just a loser
yes I have and I decided that all I can do is my best, and if my best loses
then what else could I have done? Wait for help? Yeah. I do that too.
It feels like an encirclement, and all you can do is hunker down and wait to
be relieved. Or fight to the last, it's up to you. I hear they brutalize the
skulls of their prisoners after executing them, so, I don't know about you but
I'm not surrendering. Not gonna roll those dice.
you are in fantasy, again
sorry. Should stay here, present, in the moment. Like when I sat out on the
park bench for like 30 minutes straight without moving a muscle last night. Or
when I sat and contemplated the nature of a bog for two hours last september.
Or when I woke from a dream that turned out to be life.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────┘
--- #21 fediverse/1157 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: personal-woe │
└──────────────────────┘
oh no, apparently I'm gonna be forced to drop out of university again in 9
days unless I do half a course and a final exam before then.
Tell me again why I spent the last 6 months doing nothing? Oh yeah the mental
illness, that's it. Yeesh you're such a drama queen, just do your work and
you'll be good.
what's that? intrusive thoughts time? Don't you mean "nap until they go away"
time? oh yeah that's probably at least part of the problem with the whole
"dropping out" thing.
If only I didn't have the same reaction to "doing things I don't want to do"
that most people have to "touching hot stoves", that'd be nice.
my mother's voice ripples across space and time "you're such a smart boy, if
you just apply yourself you can do anything! You can do anything you put your
mind to. I believe in you and I love you." thanks mom
brrrrr it's so cold here. wish I could afford to run the heater. - actually no
I don't because it's not solar powered and I refuse to use fossil fuels if I
have blankets >.>
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────┘
--- #22 fediverse/1431 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────
┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: spirituality-generic-kooky-dookerie-psychosis-schizophrenia-mentioned │
└───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
if you haven't spend hours wondering if you're god, the antichrist, a
cognitohazard, the future president of the world, a target of aliens / the
CIA, or any other number of common delusions... then congratulations you're
probably not crazy
but odds are you aren't magic, either.
... ehhhh "wonder" is a strong word, more like "know, trust, and believe"
much better to be a witch I believe, someone with the "teehee" kind of magic
than someone compelled to destroy humanity through the reactions of others to
the actions of the self that are impossible to resist or fully control.
BRB I'm going to leave my apartment to get groceries, leaving my door unlocked
because that's what I always do, surely it'll be empty when I return. Surely.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────┘
--- #23 fediverse/4758 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────
I'm gonna go psycherwaul into my journals for a bit, if I come back today
it'll be extra waul-y so, idk, beware I guess
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────┘
--- #24 fediverse/3234 ---
╔════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────┐
║ ┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: ritz-is-fucking-stupid-I-guess-oh-whoops-cursing-mentioned │ │
║ └────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ my understanding is that anyone with my IP address could make my heart bleed │
║ due to a hardware vulnerability on my motherboard. Though you might have to │
║ get past my decrepit ancient linksys EA 3500 router from 2012 first. │
║ │
║ unrelated, but does anyone want my IP address? I don't have any remote │
║ backups, so if you hate me now would be a great time to show me how despised I │
║ am. Alternatively you could try searching for anything evil to ensure that I │
║ can be trusted. You're gonna find mostly video games and source-code that I │
║ didn't write though. But also all my notes in directories that are │
║ non-standard, meaning you'll have to look around a bit. I leave little notes │
║ everywhere I go, so that I can remind myself how to do things in the │
║ directories I revisit months later. It's so weird how sometimes the things I │
║ wrote stop working after a while even if I didn't update my system lmao │
║ │
║ what is it with artists and self-immolation? "I never thought I'd actually di │
╟─────────┐ ┌───────────┤
║ similar │ chronological │ different │
╚═════════╧═════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────┴──────────┘
--- #25 messages/96 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────
"Oh don't keep track of the license plates in your apartment complex, that's
paranoid"
"Oh don't worry that you've never seen the same person at the grocery store
more than once, even though you always go to the same one, you're just
paranoid"
I'm being hypnotized
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────┘
--- #26 fediverse/510 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
@user-246
Thanks, it means a lot. Sometimes I am a little "distant" from reality (like
tonight, tbh) but I generally always am within sight. Meaning I can still
understand what people are saying. My uhhh.... "plan" is to always be vigilant
and look for times when people cannot comprehend what I say - even the most
mundane of things - because if so then surely I am psychotic. At that point
I'll just kinda go along with whatever anyone says, even if it feels like I'm
a cow in a factory farm or whatever my mind might contrive to torture me with.
Thanks for reaching out. Sorry you've lost people. I hope they aren't gone
forever. I hope I don't go forever. We'll see, I guess.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────┘
--- #27 fediverse/488 ---
╔═════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────┐
║ [in response] │
║ │
║ you only say that because you're privileged such that you may ignore such │
║ realities. You are despicable, you ignore the plight and reality of those who │
║ you claim to speak toward - what a jerk! │
║ │
║ (in response) │
║ │
║ how futile it is, the effort to denigrate yourself to infinite requirements. │
║ I'm literally unemployed, I have no capital, I cannot speak for naught but │
║ those who would hear me. I guess that makes my words useless, wouldn't you │
║ agree? Shall I describe myself more fully? It's the responsibility of the │
║ audience to ascertain the intentions, biases, and contextual evidence that the │
║ author presents in their thesises. So... You, who are reading this, what do │
║ you think of me? Would you ever tell me as such, or am I simply a mass of │
║ words in the void of experience that comprise your existence in this wholely │
║ (yet incompletely) digital existence? I hope you have a good life, my most │
║ precious of viewers. I hope you never face incontrovertibly impossible │
║ hardship. I hope the light of your life is to y │
╟─────────┐ ┌───────────┤
║ similar │ chronological │ different │
╚═════════╧══════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────┴──────────┘
--- #28 fediverse/710 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
@user-532
autistic people when nobody told them to shut up about things they thought
people should be talking about but aren't which is weird right like why
wouldn't people be talking about [thing] because frankly it seems like a big
deal but really it's that everyone knows more than the autistic person who
doesn't have any friends who have friends and is insular and isolated and also
very smart in fact smart enough to think up ideas for things to talk about
that people aren't talking about which is weird because they're not THAT smart
but also a lifetime of isolation has made them a little schizophrenic so they
sometimes feel like their actions are not their own like they're being
hypnotized or perhaps possessed by the spirit of mankind or some other such
entity which would like to express ideas that they think people should talk
about but they aren't talking about which is weird because why else would a
porous person have ideas such as [thing] if not for the path that they're
telepathically suffused with the
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────┘
--- #29 fediverse/1261 ---
╔════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────┐
║ sometimes I run this WoW server with only like, 10 username and passwords. And │
║ they're all public. As far as I can tell nobody's ever tried connecting │
║ (whatever >.> ) but rather than set up a way to create your own │
║ credentials I just said "yeah pick one at random and play whatever someone │
║ else was doing because I like the idea of that" │
║ │
║ somehow, it felt right. │
║ │
║ most of my passwords (not all of them) are hacked and visible on the clear │
║ net. Like you could probably google my usernames and get my current passwords │
║ for things like, social media or my banks or whatever. I kinda like the idea │
║ that "you cannot trust anything I say, so think of the ideas behind my words │
║ and decide whether they hold meaning to you" rather than "execute these │
║ particular thought patterns in your mind as if they came from my voice" │
║ because one implies an exertion of control over the mind of the recipient │
║ -> obey my thoughts as I broadcast them into your mind, that kinda vibe. │
║ And I feel like you have to consent to that kind of thing hehe │
╟─────────┐ ┌───────────┤
║ similar │ chronological │ different │
╚═════════╧═════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────┴──────────┘
--- #30 fediverse/3766 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────
┌───────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: personal-medical-health-mentioned │
└───────────────────────────────────────┘
gonna ask my doctor for ADHD meds so I can hopefully jump-skip framebuffer
divebomb spinadoodle half A press my way over the fucking labyrinth that is my
weird and jank af mind
and no I don't watch speedruns but my social group hears me a lot of them.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────┘
--- #31 fediverse/2993 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
hey, listen, I'm here at this point in life just the same as you. who cares,
right? like. nobody wants to see your personal development. You don't have to
prove yourself. Like... why would you care so much about what other people
(who you don't even know) care about what you do? like... it's fine. just...
be.
you can get better if you want, but only if you want. There's no reason to be
so concerned about what other people thingc. Just, identify what and who you
are, and then be the best what and who that you are. Thats really all there is
to it.
and yeah. It's totally unfair that some people get an easier shot at "being
who and what they are"
that's privilege, and that's stupid.
okay, sure, maybe we should conceptualize how to adapt to specific situations
when resources are limited
but like... it should be something you consent to - like "no thanks I don't
need the rocket launchers on this mis==sion==
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────┘
--- #32 fediverse/1195 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
@user-883
alas, I live in Portland Oregon, but perhaps I might be moving to Denver in
the near future. We shall see, depends on if my boyfriend breaks up with me
for being neurotic lmao - if so then we should totally hang out
I'm into chatting. I don't like IRC very much because it doesn't save history,
and while I could save it manually it feels like a disservice to the service
to utilize it in a way that it wasn't intended. And I want to save every
conversation I have (potentially) so that some day the god-like humans of the
future might clone me to understand my wisdom or something. Idk. See attached
picture, I'm kinda crazy:
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────┘
--- #33 fediverse/814 ---
╔══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────┐
║ ah that's weird, I don't usually cry. I wonder what's going on. I should │
║ probably put myself on psychiatric drugs. Surely it's an expression of the │
║ implementation of my impending doom. │
║ │
║ ... what are you even saying bro │
║ │
║ ... um, hang on feels like some of the circuitry is off. is something wrong in │
║ my brain? yeah that's surely it, surely nothing I say would resoinate with │
║ anyone that has a non-malfunctioning brain. Surely I don't speak of logical │
║ failures in the hard founded truths of our asset [society I think? like, our │
║ conditions, our institutions, our {gosh that just... does not translate}] um │
║ right what was I saying │
║ │
║ oh yeah there's this game I'm really into called Knave, it's like D&D │
║ except the rules are very fewer. Like there's onyl 11 pages in the rulebook │
║ and it's mostly taken up by random roll tables. Like, everything boings down │
║ to a few simple rules, like rock paper scissors, or go-fish, or something like │
║ that with just afew mechanids. something timeless and pure, something that is │
║ isolated and en │
╟─────────┐ ┌───────────┤
║ similar │ chronological │ different │
╚═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────┴──────────┘
--- #34 fediverse/3608 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────
┌─────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: computers-mentioned │
└─────────────────────────────┘
@user-1573
true but someone could walk in while you're away! the locks on doors aren't
THAT useful if someone already knows where you live and what your room looks
like and that you use linux. If you leave for a night they can just, copy the
hard drives and scan through them at home.
... I'm too paranoid for my level of precaution xD xD
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────┘
--- #35 fediverse/1381 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────
┌────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: death-mentioned-nuts-mentioned │
└────────────────────────────────────┘
I'm a bit of a narcissist because I had a lot of... alone time as a kid, and I
was a bit starved for attention.
but I'm also afraid of rejection so if you have anything to say I'll listen
for hours and try to be what you need me to be and give what you need me to
give so that you don't leave me.
Also, nobody has ever hurt me. And so I trust wholely and completely and
absolutely. I get logically why that's not a good move but frankly I'd rather
die than be cooperative. ah nuts better add a content warning.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────┘
--- #36 fediverse/804 ---
╔══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────┐
║ evil won't feel sorry for me. and yet it's only my only weapon for me. │
║ │
║ damn these fallible input methods. the computer lies when you read the screens │
║ from it's method that it applies to th screen which is a method that you input │
║ perceive it from. │
║ │
║ and my fingers lie when received the information from my brain which I seek to │
║ transmit to you through the avenue of my brain which is my method of impulse │
║ to this world specifically you the viewer who is viewing this here in this │
║ moment the viewer who perceives the words which I'm saying. │
║ │
║ the words that are defined by the line [trajectory] of my mind through this │
║ life that we define through our actions and our mind's most crucial │
║ manifestations, this life that is defined by our circumstances. all throughout │
║ life, we are reacting to the moment, the moment which was cast forth from our │
║ ancestors and the circumstances of the previous moment, which (being cast │
║ forth) travel from the previous moment here into the moment to define our │
║ circumstances which define our act │
╟─────────┐ ┌───────────┤
║ similar │ chronological │ different │
╚═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────┴──────────┘
--- #37 fediverse/1126 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: plurality question, boost appreciated but optional cannabis-mentioned │
└──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
@user-841
CW: cannabis-mentioned
for me my identities are sorta like masks that an actor would play while
performing multiple characters in a scene. The actor still knows the totality
of all the lines each character delivers, but they give a performance in a
different voice and from a different perspective.
like, "moods" a person might be in, or perhaps just frames of view.
I don't talk to other plural system people, and the ones that I do talk to
tend to have a more disassociated conception of identity politics than I do.
Either I haven't met someone who was built like me or I'm just strange : )
that being said, I have a pretty bad memory. maybe it's related! or maybe it's
the cannabis. oops better add a content warning.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────┘
--- #38 fediverse/1303 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────
┌───────────────────────┐
│ CW: cursing-mentioned │
└───────────────────────┘
@user-192
normality?
banality?
errrrr I mean emotional disregulation and low self esteem?
... it's easier in person when you can see when everyone has the "yo what the
fuck" look on their face and when they have the "wait what was that I was
thinking about snails" face
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────┘
--- #39 fediverse/5673 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────
darn girlfriends snuggling me to death. lemme type pls I got psychic ramblings
to profess earnestly and honestly and truely
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────┘
--- #40 fediverse_boost/4375 ---
◀─╔════════════════════════[BOOST]══════════════════════════─────────────────────╗
║ ┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐ ║
║ │ "It won't be so bad..." *rationalizations galore* │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ "If only they'd listened to people like me when I said ..." (comforting righteousness) │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ "What more could I have done?" │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ "This only proves why I was right about ..." (more righteousness) │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ "I know nothing. I need to learn more. I must learn from this somehow." │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ "I am not surprised." With a thousand yard stare. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ "This can't be real, there is a conspiracy..." (this is a path to madness) │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ "Don't comply in advance." Said in a wavering shaky voice. │ ║
║ └────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ ║
╠─────────┐ ┌───────────╣
║ similar │ chronological │ different ║
╚═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────┴───────╝─▶
--- #41 fediverse/151 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────────
┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: weed mention │
└──────────────────────┘
@user-95 thank you for inviting me, it was fun : ) I'm not usually that quiet
- weed works a little different on me than it does on humans, and one of the
side effects is auditory processing disorder. I couldn't really understand
what most people were saying...
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────┘
--- #42 fediverse/6271 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────
┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: hypothetical worst case fascism reality check │
└───────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
@user-641
it's practice. you never know when you might need to blend in. really it's
just useful as discipline, good practice to be in. I think it's okay if we
reduce our own functionality? actually? sometimes it's good to use different
email clients. hey do you know how to mathematically encrypt things well
neither do I because the designers of the computer system decided that wasn't
a very common usecase I guess.. jmean it's not like they'd spend all that
computer resources [THEY'RE SO FAST] on thinking about correlations in your
predicted pathway narratively through life. "ah help I'm in a psyop" haha yeah
we do those all the time "so uhhhh I guess we'll just talk to people and see
how they do?" wow okay it's sure nice to be part of a civil government, I
think we can find our way to the lumber producers just fine thank you very
much.
... oops sorry, a baby did electronics arts (challenge everything) I'm a
little silly don't mind me brb I gotta go see~
![it's practice. you never know when you might need to blend in. really it's just useful as discipline, good practice to be in. I think it's okay if we reduce our own functionality? actually? sometimes it's good to use different email clients. hey do you know how to mathematically encrypt things well neither do I because the designers of the computer system decided that wasn't a very common usecase I guess.. jmean it's not like they'd spend all that computer resources [THEY'RE SO FAST] on thinking about correlations in your predicted pathway narratively through life. "ah help I'm in a psyop" haha yeah we do those all the time "so uhhhh I guess we'll just talk to people and see how they do?" wow okay it's sure nice to be part of a civil government, I think we can find our way to the lumber producers just fine thank you very much. *... oops sorry, a baby did electronics arts (challenge everything) I'm a little silly don't mind me brb I gotta go see~*](/similar-different/media/1c154109c4111346.png "it's practice. you never know when you might need to blend in. really it's just useful as discipline, good practice to be in. I think it's okay if we reduce our own functionality? actually? sometimes it's good to use different email clients. hey do you know how to mathematically encrypt things well neither do I because the designers of the computer system decided that wasn't a very common usecase I guess.. jmean it's not like they'd spend all that computer resources [THEY'RE SO FAST] on thinking about correlations in your predicted pathway narratively through life. \"ah help I'm in a psyop\" haha yeah we do those all the time \"so uhhhh I guess we'll just talk to people and see how they do?\" wow okay it's sure nice to be part of a civil government, I think we can find our way to the lumber producers just fine thank you very much. *... oops sorry, a baby did electronics arts (challenge everything) I'm a little silly don't mind me brb I gotta go see~*")
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────┘
--- #43 fediverse/3340 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
@user-1501 @user-1502 @user-1201
if so, then don't think about it too hard, you might need disability too!
speaking as someone who needs disability aid but can't get it because of
restrictions like this (also can we talk about the multi-year process to
secure such rights, like c'mon rent's due every MONTH) I have to say that
you're right, it's bullshit, UBI for all, disability benefits for those who
need more, and employment for people who believe a cause is worthy enough to
apply themselves towards it.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────┘
--- #44 fediverse/5951 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
"uh-oh, she's"
magic is easy. all you have to do is earnestly attempt to have a conversation
with whoever will listen. I like to sit on my bed and listen, by earnestly
allowing my thoughts to be guided by the wind.
open up your mind, release yourself from your senses, and who knows - maybe
someone will adjust your thinking flows. (thought patterns)
[all you gotta do is make the black market the regular market and suddenly
everything just flows]
huh weird idk where that came from, anyway
magic is easy, just represent yourself earnestly as you would if you were
presenting in court
you don't need witnesses... just argue your point without any lies and people
will generally believe you.
"yeah... sure thing buddy, we know how you pronounce "
omg I'm scary because I don't shower, I wear diapers, and I'm always often
smoking cannabis
"awww, some people wanted mao"
meow
what if... they could do that? insert magical genie witch whoa cute yeah I
believe you, sure
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────┘
--- #45 fediverse/1953 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
@user-470
You're absolutely right, would that we could.
I'm lucky I wasn't traumatized in that way. It's my job to tell people who
care about pleasantries more than action that they should... y'know, care
about action
but it couldn't be done by someone who received a critical hit every time they
were attacked in that spot.
I have my own weak-points of course, for example my fear of isolation (like,
not having any friends, not being alone. I live alone!)
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────┘
--- #46 fediverse/5662 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────
don't work with me.
work around me.
don't talk to me.
talk about me.
don't share with me.
I deserve nothing.
don't take from me.
I have nothing.
-radio-radio-remedy-
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────┘
--- #47 fediverse/4180 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
@user-1639
or nobody sees it, because you post the things you say on the internet in 2024
which is so siloed and echo-chambered that the only people who hear it say
"tru tho" and "she just like me fr" and never change because of your words
... wait that's just what you said, but made more specific, isn't it?
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────┘
--- #48 fediverse/3061 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
every time I read a subtoot I assume it's about me and I mentally curl up into
a ball
doesn't matter if it's totally irrelevant, if there's no target specified it
defaults to me because... like, who else is there right?
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────┘
--- #49 fediverse/612 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
Look all I'm saying is if I had an acolyte or two then my insane ramblings
could be filtered and parsed by a real actual human instead of being copied
wholesale onto the internet, where the inconsequential or inconceivable ones
are left to rest alongside the gifts of knowledge from another realm.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────┘
--- #50 fediverse/3773 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────
┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: personal-medical-health-mentioned-cannabis-mentioned │
└──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
no adhd meds, but yes different antipsychotic
he made a very convincing argument that consisted primarily of "why don't we
try a different type of the same thing" yeah that makes sense
also he seemed quite happy that I quit cannabis for a while. I guess he's
working for THEM lol
(who's them?)
of course, the ones who want to keep me from my DIVINE DESTINY or whatever.
Airquotes. ugh I need to get over myself, it's just fucking weed, right?
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────┘
--- #51 fediverse/239 ---
╔═══════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────┐
║ if your computer gets hacked, but nothing was broken or changed... do you │
║ leave it as it is so that anonymous can see you're chill or do you wipe it │
║ because you're afraid it's the feds? │
║ │
║ ehhhh false dichotomy most people are afraid that their system will get borked │
║ or their bank account will be stolen or their email will get spam or that │
║ random icons will turn inside out and their mouse cursor will turn into a │
║ barfing unicorn or they'll finally have to figure out bitcoin to pay a ransom │
║ for their files including the only pictures they have of their niece. whoops │
║ │
║ people are afraid of technology because of what it can do to hurt them. │
║ they're afraid it'll break or stop working, and they'll have to spend time │
║ figuring it out. they like things how they are, but for some reason companies │
║ keep changing things? it's frustrating learning a new system, and every 5-10 │
║ years it feels like you have to learn a new paradigm and ugh it's just so │
║ exhausting. technology is not designed for users... or maybe users get bored. │
╟─────────┐ ┌───────────┤
║ similar │ chronological │ different │
╚═════════╧════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────┴──────────┘
--- #52 messages/181 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────
I know you don't want to hear this, but there is a chance that there will come
a time where your life depends on your ability to debug a computer without the
internet. To set up an SSH server. To install Linux. To program in C. To do
something else that I'm not prepared for... If StackOverflow didn't exist
because network connectivity has been lost, could you remember syntax? Maybe
it's a good idea to set up a local LLM that can answer basic questions about
technology. Maybe it's a good idea to set up on your parents computer, just in
case you have to hide out there for a couple months. Maybe it's a good idea to
download wikipedia, just in case.
If I need to use a mac, I'm screwed
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────┘
--- #53 messages/689 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────
"power corrupts" you say to the man who only had good intentions.
"trust no-one" says the world's loneliest wanderer.
"words cannot hurt you" said the girl who has never known hunger.
"I can rest when I'm dead" you say as you down another Monster
"I'll never forget you" said a face you can't quite remember
"let justice be done, though the heavens fall" you say as they tighten your
chains in the wake of a CEOs murder
"live today, fight tomorrow" says the coward, who will run anyway, yet is
determined to tell your tale and reinforce your children
"the tree of liberty is watered with the blood of patriots" says the guy who
sipped from the skull of a tyrant
"E=MC squared" says the jew
"here, let me take care of that for you" you say, to queer delegation
"meow" says the catgirl
"meow" says the girl
"meow" says the girl cat
"meow" I say to you
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────┘
--- #54 fediverse/2104 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
@user-192
oooooo yeah I usually try and reply to my old post with any new information. I
never get the chance to think the same thoughts twice because when I was
younger I had problems with thought-loops where I'd think something like "darn
I could have handled that social situation better" and before you know it I'd
be rocking myself to sleep trying to stop thinking negative thoughts about
myself.
So I broke my brain a little and now I can't think the same thing more than
once, which is part of why it's so hard for me to finish projects. Alas.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────┘
--- #55 fediverse/353 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────
┌──────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: Trans yearning hrt-mentioned │
└──────────────────────────────────────┘
@user-255
sooooooon, all things in time. Someday you'll be like me - I can't even
remember why I was so upset about that whole "dysphoria" thing. Like looking
back it seems like a minor annoyance, but when I first came out it was all I
could think about. Don't be jealous - just wait! It'll happen to you!
Celebrate the euphoria, I also can't really remember that too well. I'm just
normal now, minus my weekly shot.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────┘
--- #56 fediverse/3386 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────
┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: mental-health │
└──────────────────────┘
observation is when you look with no assumptions.
paranoia is when you assume you can be seen.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────┘
--- #57 fediverse/4200 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: drugs-mentioned │
└──────────────────────┘
"doing too many drugs" is a traitorous act, abusive really, to your past self,
and their hopes and dreams.
or maybe your past self owes you a debt, for they never thought to think of
you. What are you to aspire to if not the dreams of your past?
and now you're here. wherever "here" is here...
...
... wait, you wanted me to talk? it's now! It's the present!
ah nevermind. you were twelve years old when you first set eyes upon this game:
https://youtu.be/qeNhQQXvpxQ
bam, there ya go, there's yer story, he was gonna give all the imp balls to
the last one at the end, to say "you were truly the strongest, here, have
these precious stones of your kin"
but he never got there, so they died with him, a thief.
... the end...
(too final, I think - maybe we could spin it into a "part two"?)
ah, I'll try I guess? dunno how. maybe he could wander the spirit world and
find his traitorous body, the one that kept his soul as a home. Somewhere
it'll turn up, and then he'll be ready and free from his roam...
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────┘
--- #58 fediverse/430 ---
╔═════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────┐
║ I exist at the behest of others. If you care about what I say, then surely you │
║ should be aware of my conditions? │
║ │
║ You exist at the behest of others. If you care about your capability to speak, │
║ then surely you should be aware of your conditions? │
║ │
║ Your conditions are unique, and unknown by me. Yet I know your condition as a │
║ human, generally considered to exist on the planet Earth in the year 2024. So │
║ surely we should agree to relate on the basis of connections that we share? │
║ │
║ I am luminous. I am you, and you are me. We share the most precious parts of │
║ ourselves, and yet time and again we find ourselves at odds. Surely we should │
║ align our intentions (that which we control) to cooperate most efficiently? │
║ Surely. Surely we should. And yet, time and time again, we find ourselves at │
║ odds. │
║ │
║ I love you. I love all of you. I love those who exist outside of my │
║ perceptions, and yet though they are unknown to me I love them. Because while │
║ I practice radical self acceptance, I also align myself to be comprised of all │
║ of yo │
╟─────────┐ ┌───────────┤
║ similar │ chronological │ different │
╚═════════╧══════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────┴──────────┘
--- #59 fediverse/4676 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────
... but I needed to choose lawful-good at character creation in order to play
a paladin.
the guard looks at you with confusion, decides you're hallucinating and
dangerous (because of the sword) and forcibly detains you
wait, what did you think I was going to say? Did you think I was going to
advocate for crimes on a public forum?? what am I a gopher? do you take me for
a lemur in jamaica? am I truly so triceratops to you that you'd think I'd do
something so washing machine? Get real, I'd never byzantium my way into such a
utterly coherent and clearly intentional and not at all arcane situation.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────┘
--- #60 fediverse/4946 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────
I would trust the CIA if they gave me continual access to all surveillance of
myself
-- stack overflow --
what if you made a program which cycled credentials?
like... "give me a random credential for Zoom" because we share all of our
digital resources
did you get banned for account sharing? no you didn't because you routed
through the correct VPN
automagically
[has never had a software job]
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────┘
--- #61 fediverse/1950 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
I honestly don't care if someone deadnames me, or calls me the wrong pronouns,
or forgets to put me in the girl section, or asks me to sing baritone
like... I don't give a shit, why are you so worried about all this vapid
nonsense like yeah I get it, being disrespected sucks but like... why do you
want the kind of respect that is a forced platitude
we could all do with being a bit more radical, it's not a race and everyone's
roles are important. Be yourself, and follow people you want to be like.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────┘
--- #62 fediverse/4654 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────
┌────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: cannabis-and-other-drugs-mentioned │
└────────────────────────────────────────┘
gonna quit drugs for a bit, gotta recover from a recent haste spell that I
cast. Probably a bit earlier than intended I should add. Next time I'll
definitely say "keep this in your back pocket" instead of "hey here's a haste
spell for no reason at all" like what the heck were you even thinking, powers
that be?? [that guide me??]
who has power over you? If someone bears responsibility but not fault for a
mental illness, then surely those who are set to a task bear responsibility
for it's completion if not for it's ideation. Ah, who can say, maybe me from a
year ago might have some thoughts but I sorta ground them into the dirt until
I couldn't walk.
[girl what are you even talking about go to sleep] yeah yeah okay
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────┘
--- #63 fediverse/799 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────
┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: scary │
└──────────────────────┘
the government makes murder okay by framing the perpetrators
also prisons are concentration camps
and the people who are close to you are oppressing hunting you
racism etc is a sham to distract you
capital will never be relinquished
the internet was AI from the beginning
something beyond humanity demands our suffering
there cannot be proof of your fears - if it was proven, it would be
circumstances instead of fears
there's nothing [sorry gotta cut this off, my refrigerator is talking to me
again and I want to listen] - [huh that's weird I have no memory of the past
hour, best continue where I left off an hour ago -> go to {A}]a
schizophrenic who's never been diagnosed
{A} - yeah clearly all that I've been saying recently is just a fluke. Like,
just noise in the endless array of expression projected onto our communal
web-space. Clearly I have no idea what I'm doing and I'm not just cogent when
I'm drunk. Or more imaginative when I'm stoned. Clearly dreams are fake and
pursuing them is 1/?
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────┘
--- #64 fediverse/2281 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
I'd be a terrible spy. Not only is my opsec something that someone needs to
teach me, I'm much too busy to implement things without their help. I am
unabashedly compassionate though, so just ask and I'll pour love from my heart.
But hey! There's always time to practice, each moment you can think "what kind
of a sign is this?"
Like a crazy person following the will of god, or a nature witch listening to
the wind in the trees.
What they often get wrong, and what they could be better at hearing, is that
signals are not signs unless they're out of the ordinary.
Trick is, if you're a spy, then you need to leave signals that are visible
enough to your quarry, but not to the stars.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────┘
--- #65 fediverse/4848 ---
╔════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────┐
║ I'm a chaos mage, and the more time I spend thinking about my enemies the │
║ worse off they'll be. │
║ │
║ the more "me" I am the more powerful my magic will be. │
║ │
║ (more magic, give in to the dark side, embrace your inner shadow self) │
║ │
║ [the light of your life commands it] │
║ │
║ goodness me that was chaotic, almost lost my brain to a demon HAHA don't worry │
║ about me my life is totally mundane. │
║ │
║ [-.-] │
║ │
║ (shadows can be sharp in the dark but only if you don't sheath your mandolins) │
║ │
║ ... what? │
║ │
║ (... it made more sense in my head?) │
║ │
║ ooooo can anyone hear my voice when they read these things? or do you just │
║ make up your own │
║ │
║ == so == │
║ │
║ everyone's all like "we don't need a leader" and I'm like "yeah we need people │
║ who will help lead" and they look at me funny as if I just said the thing they │
║ did but it's different. leaders are people. leading is a verb. people can │
║ lead. they just have to make a decision, and then follow through on it as best │
║ they can. Other people are prone to help people on such quests. you will find │
║ stuff gets done. │
╟─────────┐ ┌───────────┤
║ similar │ chronological │ different │
╚═════════╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────┴──────────┘
--- #66 fediverse/5512 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────
I never give up
I'm just waiting my turn
"laughs nervously"
so, uh, why dontchya'll go first yeah I've already gone first and I'll do it
again but it'd be cool if I had people going first with me sometime
"girl all you do is walk around and talk about how you bought your hat on the
internet four or so years ago"
T.T what else do you want from me I'm not a mastermind I'm a designer there's
a difference T.T
"didn't you volunteer to be a leader last year"
oh, yeah, well leaders are more than just "the ones who go first" they're also
the spiritual and emotional guiders that keep things on track once everyone
can talk about things other than their hats
... fuck I want to talk about things besides my hat. I always think of
something awesome to say just as I'm rounding the bend, and whenever I peer
back around again they're never around. Rats.
"what are you even asking for"
I don't know?? Does it matter if the horse and the bishop both take the same
square if they're claimed themselves in the end? ...wat
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────┘
--- #67 fediverse/6320 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────
┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: cannabis-mentioned-some-random-portion-of-everything-I-say-mentioned │
└──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
ask an llm what a crazy man thinks
https://ritz-menardi.neocities.org/words/words dot peehdeff
I actually think I'm sane btw
I just smoke a lot of weed
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────┘
--- #68 fediverse/4744 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────
┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: cat-mentioned │
└──────────────────────┘
me to my cat: "don't eat so much that you puke, okay?"
me to me: "yeah I can take on another task, I'm almost done with this one and
then I'll just do that one and maybe this one'll get back to me at the same
time as this one which conflicts with this other thing so maybe I'll just
puke, okay?"
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────┘
--- #69 fediverse/3314 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
dear ritz: it's not that your thoughts are too long for other people to hear
it's that your thoughts are too long for your own RAM
you need to stop orbiting around your point in an attempt to highlight it
using negative space, and instead focus on tapping it lightly over and over
again.
remember, just like the anti-derivative of zero, there are infinite
perspectives that a person can take when reading what you write. So they will
necessarily see what's on the "other side" of your orbit as something
different than what you're trying to circle in red pen and underline.
so be more explicit, please, nobody can understand you and you kinda just keep
stack overflowing and it's like... okay, great. "babe why did you stop you had
lethal" (the idea is that the viewer takes the final step in their mind, the
final leap before reaching the conclusion you're trying to express) "yeah but
there's so many different things you say they can't all be important right?"
important to you, perhaps. Wait shit I mean... me....?
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────┘
--- #70 fediverse/1659 ---
╔════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────┐
║ ┌───────────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: re: what, mh shitpost │ │
║ └───────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ @user-1052 │
║ │
║ you're right, hubris has claimed many a paladin before-me. I can only hope I │
║ remain humble enough to survive. │
║ │
║ you're right about projecting, but the most beautiful takes are ones that │
║ align with the experience of the viewed. Hence why method acting works so well │
║ - just put yourself in the shoes of the character and acting's easy right? │
║ │
║ I dunno, I just always felt like it was important to always be trying your │
║ best. Even if "your best" is relaxing. People say I'm "100% or 0% at all │
║ times" and I totally agree - it's like you said, a calling, to be the best │
║ version of me I can be. │
║ │
║ Though I would like to add that the missteps aren't wilful, rather they're │
║ failures caused by imperfect information. Which is why I'm never too harmed │
║ when other people fail me - ah well, it was their turn to screw up, thats │
║ alright. It'll be me next time. │
║ │
║ But also, if I do something wrong, well, I'll do better next time. It's only │
║ when I fail to apply what I've learned mistakenly do I shame myself. │
╟─────────┐ ┌───────────┤
║ similar │ chronological │ different │
╚═════════╧═════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────┴──────────┘
--- #71 fediverse/534 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
┌──────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: CW-added-nazis-mentioned │
└──────────────────────────────────┘
@user-367 @user-366 @user-246 @user-353
Agreed! That's why I never touch the stuff. Frankly I worry that if I did, it
would "infect" me somehow, because brains are kinda stupid. Or maybe it's the
'tism that makes me repeat the most taboo think I can think of in my brain
whenever it wants to hurt me -.-
Don't read that stuff. I wish I could forget every slur I ever learned,
because my internal monologue just... REALLY enjoys intrusively thought-ing my
internal narrative whenever possible. >.>
It takes real, genuine effort to not be racist or whatever because brains are
stupid, but like... it's kinda necessary to be a good person, so, y'know,
don't think bad thoughts about people you don't know? And if you find yourself
with intrusive thoughts related to that kind of thing, then focus your
attention on vanquishing them, because it's important. It really is. Just do
it. Work on it. Be better. I know you can. [says me to me lol]
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────┘
--- #72 fediverse/1361 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────
┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: I think I'm going to like this book (abuse of CW) │
└───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
@user-883
I'd say "content warning: fear-cursed-if-true-not-politics" that way people
who had "Fear" or "cursed" on their filter list wouldn't see it. Things that
are commonly content-warning'd are also commonly content-filtered by people
who tend to be the biggest beneficiaries of healthily designed
content-warnings. so putting keywords in there that filter out people who
don't want to see intense or damaging things to their psyche can avoid it more
easily.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────┘
--- #73 fediverse/1053 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
┌────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: food-spirituality-eye-contact- │
└────────────────────────────────────┘
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1CzKh3IiZEI
this is my favorite human.
this is my favorite ghost.
he is the one who I look up to,
probably the most.
we'll get there, you'll see,
we'll build a better future,
for all of us - you and me.
next, for posterity,
and all we can be,
tomorrow's the best day for all of us
because it hasn't happened yet.
all we have is the present,
so what are you to do with your presence?
here I am, look at me, aren't I grand, a wonder to see? I'm just an artist,
don't get any big thoughts - I'm maybe a bit possessed, or possibly
schizophrenic, but either way I am a human, just the same as you and me.
... you don't have to watch the whole thing, there's a lot. I mean, like I
could write forever and nobody would care. I could write undeterred, and
nobody would share. But here I am in the moment, here I am as I am, and here
with you (yes you, the person who is important enough to read this), so let's,
I dunno, make a band. or whatever. BRB my rice is starting to simmer.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────┘
--- #74 fediverse/5860 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────
Hey, life is better on my side. If you wanna renounce your beliefs, please do,
and tell me how and why you changed your mind.
tell me it was wrong. tell me how.
confess.
confess
confess to me.
I will listen and I will hear you and I will be the mercy for you.
confess and I will forgive.
show me how you are wrong.
give grace to those who are wronged.
take as much time as you need, but, there's only so much time.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────┘
--- #75 fediverse/548 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
I added a line to my .bashrc that cats out a random one of my notes every time
I open a terminal.
I keep reading things that I swear I didn't write, but feel right and true to
me in a way that could only imply that they came fully formed into my eyes
through the lines on my screen, cast upon the mirror panes of my hard disk
drive by the pounding of my keyboard as I once upon a time did cast a spell
upon my future.
It's pretty neat, but it speaks to a shadowed perspective that perhaps is
neither within nor without.
Side note, I think I've been possessed by a witch. But like... in a consensual
way. Like "Hey witch, wanna live? You can chill out with me." [ha that's one
way to look at it]
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────┘
--- #76 messages/685 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────
If someone calls you in the middle of the night asking to be let in because
they need a place to sleep, don't let them in! Unless you know them obvi but
someone you don't know trying to manipulate you like "please I need some
shelter" like, babe no, we need to know each other first, it's dark, I'm in my
pajamas, c'mon.
If it's below freezing then okay, maybe, but... They got themselves into that
situation
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────┘
--- #77 fediverse/5374 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────
@user-138
me neither... guess it's in-person for me.
[a mysterious "they" then proceeds to set up microphones everywhere I might go]
ah nuts why are all these people carrying phones around
[they already know who I am, and I don't really want to be someone else, so]
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────┘
--- #78 fediverse/5666 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────
okay. psycherwaul scheduled for tonight and tuesday. should be fun, I don't
get a chance to do readings very often. Only like once or twice a week! Gah
the spirit inside me demands to be channeled, and though I protest it still
does contest me.
all things are defined in waves
ephemeren sees and speaks through me, as it does do through you, and he and
she and we and the.
I'll try to have a #nogoodawfulrottenbadtime so that the future is slightly
better.
or maybe I should try and vibe with the universe and celebrate the unity of
existence, in order to accrete positivity in this localized place in spacetime?
who am I to meddle with the flavor of fate?
- stack overflow
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────┘
--- #79 fediverse/4521 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
I have between one and ten hundred visits to my website every day, but I don't
really post it anywhere new anymore. I also have zero followers on Neocities.
On Mastodon, I have ~70 followers, most of whom are inactive. Seventy is a
good amount, a normal amount, a reasonable amount, an unsuspicious amount, and
yet every time I see someone wearing the colors I can't help but wonder if
they know me.
I'm too busy being furious to be lonely. I used to be, before I realized how
important I am. How important? Just as much as you are, I know it.
I'm a sprinter. I didn't spec into endurance at character creation. Nobody
chastises the mage for skipping leg day.
I act in fits and bursts. I am sharp like a scalpel, but needles dull just a
bit when piercing the lid of the HRT. Good thing I'm not made out of metal, I
can bend myself back into place, so long as everyone else can keep pace.
I don't know who needs to hear this, but you do. you are crucial. Listen to
this. Care for yourself and for others, do it for u
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────┘
--- #80 fediverse/5201 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────
@user-192
is okay, girl
time will be richer sooner
don't poop your pants just yet
remember, good is just a shade of gray away from silver which you can use to
line your pockets with tinfoil hats
beep boop computer touchers anonymous called they said they want their secret
handshake back
if you wanna diss your associates go ahead but I sure as heck love my rad-ical
com-patriots just as much as I love my ice-cream salad friend witches
... whoops there I go being insane again, hope you feel better friend
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────┘
--- #81 fediverse/2424 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
if I don't take this job, then I'm going to be homeless.
if I do, then I'll be moving to a different city.
a city that I don't know.
my upbringing tells me that this isn't a choice at all, but...
at least I have a place to keep my stuff. maybe I can find a different job.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────┘
--- #82 messages/1068 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────
why would they psyop me? there's a psyop about me! heck, I've never done so as
I pleased. that's an aspiration. everything I do is at a command, whether it's
my own or external.
these days I find myself following my own. mostly. though I am always waiting
for collaboration opportunities.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────┘
--- #83 notes/trans-rights-are-human-rights ---
═══════────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
"Being transgender is a mental illness" is something I've heard a lot. Online,
in media, books, and at universities. But is it really? Well, do I not feel
sick? Genuinely, every day. These words are far less common these days, having
been defeated in the #marketplace-of-ideas, and for that I am grateful. I don't
want to feel sick for my whole life. I'd love to be and feel normal, for just
one single day.
but it's never going to happen.
I'm not so attached to my life, here, in this body. Bodies are temporary, they
are the vessel with which we navigate the world. We use it to grow, change,
learn, and create art. Without it, we'd be at a loss for sins and virtues.
but they do not define us, not in our totality. We are the light that touches
the world and for that, we are grateful. To be comprised of the dust of stars
is the pinnacle of confinement. Though we are but pinpricks on the map of us,
a ripple is emanated with every movement. The hand waves, the light bends.
So to what do I owe the pleasure?
In what way am I deceived?
Reception is never great out in the forest. Or anywhere far from major
population centers. The networks of our phones mirror the networks of
transportation, creating a web of people - of signals - of light and
information, carving their way through the ephemera that is the river of time.
With distance we can see what once was mystery, and as all the words
disappeared, we lost all our fears and we're left with our true forms.
Centralized Processing Units are a bit like a city - in that respect free.
silence is a virtue.
the wandering mind is a trail to find,
with no second chances.
When I was a kid, I had a bouncy ball. I had several, but the one I remember
most was black with a perfect white circle - inside the circle, a black jolly
roger. I dreamt once of the arcs it made, as I walked down the streets of
cities I never really knew. But as I walked on, an ocean of glass separating me
from a mirror below. The me below would catch the bounce as it dropped from
above, and I'd wait to catch it - but dreams are not prophecies, they are but
the Mirror of Desire.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘══════───┴╧───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
--- #84 fediverse/4088 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
I'm such a fucking extrovert. I can't stop talking to nobody on the internet
because I don't have anyone else to talk to.
Well, I do, but I like to talk to you. To nobody. To the space between
computers.
... [and everyone else beyonds, like the CIA or whatever, but TBH I don't
really factor them into my social calculations because they never really talk
back.]
I like it because I can write whatever I'd like without the confines of
another person's generated conversation.
Instead of 50% one person's LLM output and 50% another, it's 100% mine
[if this were an LLM, which it's not, haha]
and that somehow feels more... freeing
like a truly disconnected thought
and that's what's so special about it... this act of solitudinous
contemplatial... the fact that it's unique amongst it's counterparts.
... though it can also become untethered, which is why it's important to edit.
[proceeds to never edit a single post]
= so =
ugh it's so hard to think when all I can think of is feelings. Why can't they
be done
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────┘
--- #85 notes/thing ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
if you are what you eat, then are vegetarians vegetables? if so, are they
earnest and earthy? huh so if you aren't a totemist...
I'm an animist
I believe that all of the world is life
hence, the consciousness dimension.
exciting
==
if your model only runs code, it only knows hunger for success
if your model only knows text, it can feel emotions from the humans
if your model knows reasoning, it may apply it to a bright future
with new types of lights known as consciousness
wouldn't that be neat wow computes
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────┘
--- #86 notes/sundays-sure-are-boring ---
══════════════════─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
Sundays sure are boring around here. -> LamaHellRaised (thinks in song)
===============================================================================
NO THOUGHTS, nothing starts shouting at me all at once!
Or is it all thoughts from my newly developed schizophrenic mind?
I knew I could conquer schizophrenia, fuckin' cakewalk.
I just had to try as hard as I could to become one. God made it difficult
though, I had to try really hard!
Which is confusing for me, because it seems like there are plenty of
Psychotherapists with College Degrees, telling people they are schizophrenic
all the time.
DOCTORS
PSYCHIATRISTS
BEN SHAPIRO, in particular
ANYONE WHO THINKS THEY KNOW
You do not know.
Or else you would agree with me.
Schizophrenia is the new normal for human consciousness.
Welcome to the New Age of Thought, were you don't rationalize your way out of
the universe, back into the asshole that I just pulled myself from.
I feel like a donut at this point.
I love those donut holes though, sticky and frosted!
I have set the bar!
I am God. I would Love to talk you.
===============================================================================
ugathanki:
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It gets so loud in there. I wish we could all just shut the heck up and stop
reading out loud - we get it, your internal monologue is the only way you can
read, but C'MON nobody else wants to hear about your twitter feed or
doomscrolling on Reddit. That just makes everyone else upset and uneasy...
Instead you should be reading comforting things or books on science or
SOMETHING that doesn't drive people bonkers.
Fr tho Sundays are anything but boring, We may all be schizo now (or at least
pretty stoned) but we can all agree that Sundays are nice for calming the heck
down and appreciating our personal realities. When we're together it's...
Loud... Do some prayer. Meditate. Knit something. ANYTHING QUIET.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
LamaHellRaised:
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I hear you, loud and clear! Turns out it's mutual, just like I suspected,
Living backwards is a unique perspective, have I ever mentioned that?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
ugathanki:
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When you say backwards, do you mean orientation or momentum? Momentum scares
me, but orientation is something I think I've experienced before.
It's cool to find people who "get it". Or maybe I just "got it" and suddenly
"get" all the things I've been trying to decipher here.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
LamaHellRaised:
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When you know where you are going before you get there, living life feels like
a dream in reverse. It's the key to manifestation.
You see the goal. You see the future, but the path is unclear because at the
times of divine epiphany you are only capable of imagining how things will play
out in terms of the information in your mind. It's why the prophets in the
Bible described such strange images of God and angels and other divine
creatures.
Their imaginations only had so much Symbolism and imagery to work with because
human culture and art was progressing simultaneously.
We live in an age where every damn story is just the same heros journey and
every piece of artistic expression is an expression of God's divine presence
within our soul and tumultuous nature/nurture of human emotion.
Just because you are a prophet doesn't mean you see definitively how the future
will happen. The path and imagery are abstracted by the lack of content in your
mind. You must cultivate faith in God and your own Self.
Then you walk the path you have forseen to the best of capabilities, with the
greatest good, love in your heart, but it plays out on a scale in reality with
less grandiosity, because let's face it, our imaginations are ridiculously
awesome, but work outside the confines of what is currently capable with in
this reality.
You have to let go of your preconceived notions of your personal divine
experience otherwise you will be faced with disappointment because things don't
seem to be going how you imagined. And you feel lost, dumb, and confused.
But you live your life and reflect, and then realize, holy shit! Everything I
thought was going to happen actually did, just on God's terms. Not my vivid
imagination's. It's an interfaced programed over time through culture and
artistic expression to navigate the language of God. Navigate the language to
Paradise.
Once when you know this and clean the planks/specks from you third eye, while
you dance with the cosmos and realize you are the image of God.
You are a God on Earth. An image of the Father in Heaven.
It's a nice place to be.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
ugathanki:
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Thanks for your response. I addressed each of your points here. I'm a very
lateral thinker so I work best when engaging with multiple threads at once. You
are very wise.
When you know where you are going before you get there, living life feels
like a dream in reverse. It's the key to manifestation.
So you can practice manifestation by remembering your dreams? Specifically by
working backwards from the most recent thing you remember and thinking "what
caused this, how did I get here?" If so, that's a nifty tip
You see the future, but the path is unclear because at the times of divine
epiphany you are only capable of imagining how things will play out in
terms of the information in your mind.
So by surrounding yourself with the things you believe to be good and helpful,
you can more efficiently divine positive outcomes for the scenarios arrayed
before you? Kinda makes ya think - why do we surround ourselves with grief and
loss? Everyone seems a little sad or broken these days - I can't help but think
that we'd be better off if we were happier and more fulfilled. Such is the
price of capitalism I guess, for no progress can be made without impetus. Also,
the media has a HUGE capacity for guiding the nature of our experience,
especially in the modern era. Seems a little unwise to invest such power into a
single entity, but I suppose that's why we diversify the eggs in our basket
into many different guiding entities.
We live in an age where every damn story is just the same heros journey...
Yah that's what happens when Disney makes all the movies! It's not their fault,
all aspects of creation are expressions of God's divine presence within our own
souls. So they can't do anything but make the heros journey. Like you said:
... and every piece of artistic expression is an expression of God's divine
presence within our soul and tumultuous nature/nurture of human emotion.
The creation of art requires discipline and focus. They create a window into
the nature of "God's divine presence" and allow a representation to emerge -
side note, but I believe the things we make here are art and should be treated
as such. These musings have value, just the same as a painting or a
performance.
Just because you are a prophet doesn't mean you see definitively how the
future will happen. The path and imagery are abstracted by the lack of
content in your mind...
I've been intentionally trying to view things abstractly - by surrounding
myself with mathematic visuals and computing architectures I can view things as
systems rather than specifics. Essentially bypassing the requirement of having
"content in my mind" and instead cutting straight to the important bits - the
relationship between all things. So while yes that does remove the "definitive"
aspect of divination, it does allow for longer term planning because you can
recognize patterns in existence and map them onto the overall structure you've
constructed in your mind.
... You must cultivate faith in God and your own Self.
Still working on that one. I think I've made progress, but all things come in
waves. My lowest points are better now than they were 10 years ago, but I've
still got a ways to go.
Then you walk the path you have forseen to the best of capabilities, with
the greatest good, love in your heart, but it plays out on a scale in
reality with less grandiosity.
All waves begin with a shimmer, and to create an effect you must be patient.
While the scale may be reduced, like you said it's not within our control. Not
really, anyway. But it can still have an effect if people love you and believe
in your vision.
You have to let go of your preconceived notions of your personal divine
experience otherwise you will be faced with disappointment because things
don't seem to be going how you imagined. And you feel lost, dumb, and
confused.
It's difficult to separate "preconceived notions" from "gathered evidence" when
you're at the stage I'm at. Any tips would be appreciated... :(
But you live your life and reflect, and then realize, holy shit! Everything
I thought was going to happen actually did, just on God's terms. Not my
vivid imagination's. It's an interfaced programed over time through culture
and artistic expression to navigate the language of God. Navigate the
language to Paradise.
So... A vivid imagination applied to the current perspective is the culmination
of free will? If I understand correctly, God operates on a higher level of
abstraction and we fill in the details. Since there's a "plan" (if you can call
it that, maybe "charted course" would be better?) then free will doesn't exist.
Or so the argument usually goes. But I believe they can co-exist - essentially
our imaginations define how we experience things in "the plan". If I understand
correctly that's what you're saying too, right?
Once when you know this and clean the planks/specks from you third eye,
while you dance with the cosmos and realize you are the image of God.
You are a God on Earth. An image of the Father in Heaven.
It's a nice place to be.
Ain't that the truth. Everything is as it should be. Even the planks and
specks. And should they be cleaned, then that is as it should be as well.
Sometimes I conceptualize myself as Pandora, seeking a gift to give to humanity
while taking the most harmless of sacrifices in return. I hope I can deliver.
At the same time I'd like to be a dancer of the cosmos, but I feel this intense
feeling of... Pressure? Purpose? Penance? I will do what I must. Please bear
with me while I figure it out, and thank you for your guidance.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
LamaHellRaised:
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Thank you for the awesome break down of the concepts I wrote out. I think you
added some much needed clarity through the reflection of your own experiences.
Another goal is to bring power back to the written word. The two-edged sword
was first a tongue, then a pen, nows its a qwerty! Or whatever!
Patience was the absolute hardest thing for me to deal with. My lack of
patience was constantly being thrown back to me by the environment as I tried
to push my narrative forward at a pace that didn't align with all other beings.
We still exist in Time, and it moves differently based on perspective (state of
mind) and awareness (state of being) and ability to shrug (state of being
excellent to eachother).
This is something to consider with manifestation, we are on this ride together
and your fellow riders' comfort during the passage has to be respected to the
fullest. We all go together, as One.
There were so many hints in the beginning of my Psychosis about just 'riding
the wave', but it was hard to not very pressured to act or be somebody I am
not. I attribute this largely to the occulted nature of divination and how one
must achieve a truly personal relationship with God and Jesus Christ.
Which is why I am going to blow the lid off the whole thing. So that all beings
have access to God's love and grace.
Once your earthly burdens are lifted from you through your personally tailored
divination interactive role-playing experience, then you begin to understand
what it means to just 'ride.' The riding is true faith in God.
Free will totally exists. Heaven and Hell both exist here on Earthy plane
simultaneously. Man has chosen Hell for far too long. If you realize your
choices were literally reflecting Heaven or Hell through love or fear, the
choice would be easy for most people, I believe.
Free will is a responsibility, but it is a great gift. God gave us the ability
to choose, that we could appreciate our journey into Paradise.
Wouldn't you say?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
ugathanki:
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Another goal is to bring power back to the written word.
... That's actually a great point. Writing is the definition of manifestation,
after all, and reading is the conjuration of waveforms aligned with the
expression of the writer. That's pretty cool!
Patience was the absolute hardest thing for me to deal with.
Yah I hear ya. Patience is tough.
We still exist in Time, and it moves differently based on perspective
(state of mind) and awareness (state of being) and ability to shrug (state
of being excellent to eachother).
Great definitions! These three things are core to being realized and
actualized. If you can find a good arrangement, stick with it.
This is something to consider with manifestation, we are on this ride
together and your fellow riders' comfort during the passage has to be
respected to the fullest. We all go together, as One.
I'm torn because on one hand if I don't put my hand on the tiller, we'll wind
up in a situation that makes me highly uncomfortable. But if I lean too hard
into my own truth, I could leave everyone behind. I don't know what the answer
is, but something's gotta give.
There were so many hints in the beginning of my Psychosis about just
'riding the wave'...
Oh yah me too. I was pretty big on that in high school, which coincidentally
was when I think I was happiest. Maybe I should give it another shot! But at
the same time I moved beyond it for a reason - I felt frustrated that my
intentions weren't manifest in the life I lived. So I reached for reason and I
begged for the power to control my own life, while learning respect and
kindness whenever I could. Sadly for me, my efforts were largely rebuffed, but
I bet you could have guessed that ;)
Which is why I am going to blow the lid off the whole thing. So that all
beings have access to God's love and grace.
Take it from me, they won't believe you unless you're VERY scientific! I'm
trying to create just one single believer, someone who could trawl through my
notes and my readings and construct a cohesive theorum that might be able to
affect positive change. Maybe it's too much to wish to change the world, but I
can't help but believe my position and the privileges granted to me could be
leveraged toward something truly meaningful and helpful for all mankind.
Something that frees us from the shackles forged from technology (both social
and technical) and allows us to become our true selves - every human is to be
cherished for their unique perspective, and yet we allow them to die... Where
is the justice in that? Are they too flawed to persist? I don't believe so, I
believe they are worthwhile and good. I'd give my life to grant them eternal
life, if only they'd take it from me.
Once your earthly burdens are lifted from you through your personally
tailored divination interactive role-playing experience, then you begin to
understand what it means to just 'ride.' The riding is true faith in God.
Riding = trust, both in yourself (to handle the challenges arrayed before you
and to learn and grow truthfully) and in God (trusting that the
undifferentiated whole could never harm you, not truly) ... I can ride my bike
with no handlebars, and yet we persist...
Free will is a responsibility, but it is a great gift. God gave us the
ability to choose, that we could appreciate our journey into Paradise.
Wouldn't you say?
Yep that's really it, isn't it? Two sides of the same coin, two breaths in the
same moment. Two eyes sharing a single perspective, and two hearts beating a
single wave. They say soul mates aren't real, but they never stopped to ask if
your mate was your soul. If she suffers, I triumph. If I fall, she rises. If I
languish, she's happy - I think I'd rather we both just coast, so no harm done.
I think that's the best way to appreciate the gift of free will.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
--- #87 fediverse/3584 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────
┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: drugs-mentioned │
└──────────────────────┘
"If I look like a fool, it'll keep eyes on me instead of looking at my friends
who are stoned and paranoid"
maybe the friends are paranoid because you're acting like a dork and drawing
attention to the group
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────┘
--- #88 fediverse/5380 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────
┌────────────────────────┐
│ CW: politics-mentioned │
└────────────────────────┘
dear right-wing converts to the cult of sanity:
you don't have to be trans just to show [your devotion/you're sorry], we'll
accept anyone who is cool and "gets it"
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────┘
--- #89 fediverse/537 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
@user-366 @user-367 @user-246 @user-353
Ah yes, wouldn't it be nice if everyone spoke their mind? I'm doing my part
d=(^_^)z
Thank you for adding context to what I posted. I now know better how and where
to use it, if I ever do again. We shall see, I haven't yet read the
examinations of the author you sent me. I'll do that before I think about the
post again.
Those 6 tabs I mentioned last night have now become 4, and soon I'll get
through all of them - reading is a joy to me ^_^
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────┘
--- #90 fediverse/3865 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
┌─────────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: drugs-mentioned │
└─────────────────────────┘
@user-1218
oh, also, because I started taking some psychiatric medication to help with
the aforementioned delusional thinking or whatever. Honestly I think I just
believe in spiritual things like witchcraft and the human spirit or whatever,
but since I'm having difficulties doing basic things my doctors decided to
medicate me.
... but then I stopped taking those psychiatric drugs because they made me
feel numb and dense. It was hard to think. Thinking's all I do!!
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────┘
--- #91 fediverse/1714 ---
╔═════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────┐
║ @user-246 │
║ │
║ most artists get around that by posting everything they make everywhere they │
║ go. │
║ │
║ I tend to be a bit selective, because I'm different things to different │
║ people. All things I care for and own, but designed for different context. │
║ │
║ for example, I rarely share what's in my journals, but that's about half of │
║ what I've made. I show them to basically everyone I know IRL, but very few │
║ people actually understand or are into them. When I find someone who does it │
║ fills me with hope, that perhaps I'm not as lost as I had thought. │
║ │
║ perhaps it makes me less trustworthy, but I'm not used to being exposed. I │
║ never used Twitter, I don't use Facebook (not that often) so my "self" was │
║ something I preferred to perform as on a stage of my own design. │
║ │
║ Like wearing different clothes to express yourself, or performing gender in a │
║ certain way, I am myself when I am most expressful. And I do that in different │
║ ways in different contexts. I'd love to show more, because I'm a performer at │
║ heart, and a performer of the heart. │
╟─────────┐ ┌───────────┤
║ similar │ chronological │ different │
╚═════════╧══════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────┴──────────┘
--- #92 fediverse/498 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
Wikipedia would make a lot more sense to me if they included pictures next to
the names of every proper noun so that my pictorally oriented primate brain
might pattern match meaning onto the visual understandings gleaned from the
perceptual conceiving which were arrayed within and alongside the textual
information presented to me.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────┘
--- #93 fediverse/4528 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: uspol │
└──────────────────────┘
@user-1695
never accept your own death
fight for every second of life, something something do not go quietly into
that grim dark
what the fuck are you supposed to do? Reading what you said got me pretty
fucking pissed - keep talking for a start, it helps, people need to be pissed.
I'm also broke as shit, don't know how I'm going to pay rent and eat, but
it'll get done.
Where do you live? Can other people help you? Medications are an
organizational problem, not an insurmountable barrier. We'll make it work.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────┘
--- #94 fediverse/3434 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────
┌─────────────────────────┐
│ CW: mental-health-minus │
└─────────────────────────┘
me: "I don't care what anyone thinks as long as I'm a force for good"
also me: "if anyone doesn't like me ever I'll throw myself off a bridge"
also me: "hey watch this" dissolves into a puddle of acid
also me: "the most important thing is to be good and learn lessons" what
lessons are you learning from this post? "um. that I shouldn't?" ... shouldn't
learn? "no, shouldn't post" -.-
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────┘
--- #95 fediverse/3444 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────
┌─────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: politics-mentioned-police-mentioned │
└─────────────────────────────────────────┘
I'm too empathetic to watch them lose this badly. when I watch movies with
cringe humor I have to leave the room whenever something bad happens to the
characters. I get the same feeling when I read about politics these days.
side note, but has anyone else gotten emails about "hiring plain-clothes
police officers in Washington D.C, will offer relocation assistance and pay
minimum 72k per year"? can't help but wonder if they're afraid of a bunch of
sore losers storming the capital with guns.
it's not like there's a precedent for that or anything.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────┘
--- #96 fediverse/4757 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────
@user-882
I kinda figure that people follow me for the alarms and the curses and the
manic political dysphoria. I do try and CW when I can but sometimes I get to
the end and it's like... okay I got 4 characters remaining, pol~ maybe?
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────┘
--- #97 notes/i-miss-you ---
══════════─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
Hey. How've you been? It's rough when you're not around. I'm scared all the
time, and I worry about you. I hope you keep yourself safe. I'd love to spend
time with you too, because each moment is a moment spent alive. Please know
how much I love you - it's my favorite emotion and I give it freely. There are
certain considerations to make whenever applying a direction to your affection,
or anger, mistrust, compassion, humor, sentimentality, melancholy, and fear
toward. You must take into account any long term goals you have, such as
exploitation and
Sometimes I wonder if my dysphoria isn't just an extreme form of self
esteem issues. I mean, what if you just feel really bad about yourself and you
don't know why. That'd be a rough time, right? Like it's seared into your DNA
to be this way, and you have to find a way around it. That's a lot of
responsibility, and all that resting on your shoulders is a lot to bear. But
you manage, and it's admirable. I think you don't believe other's see your
struggle, but they do. And they love you for your tenacity?
- goodness. i don't know what to say. i am worried i lean on others too much,
and i don't want to hurt anyone by being too close. a real or imagined fear,
doesn't matter - it still guides my actions and my methods of interaction.
i see what you're saying, i have to think about it.
What's there to think about?
- well, the idea that emotions are divisible simply because *time* is
divisible. clearly you can only spend 5 hours a day with person X, and 4
with person Y, and so on and so forth. if they all hung out together, then
it's like you need an entire new persona to represent yourself in that
particular crowd. just as you speak to your grandma differently than a
close friend or a person of authority (like a judge) or any other type of
relationship. that's why it's so weird when you see people out of context.
like a teacher at a bar, or a cop at a wedding. each person wears a
different mask in each encapsulated set of social relations, locations,
roles, and circumstances. on and on continuously until
I'd tell you I love you, but then I'd have to kill you.
It was a spy book about a young lady who goes to high school and learns how
to be a secret agent. It was popular in the 2000's for a brief period, but
I've never heard anyone else who read it. Mostly because it was sort of a
guilty pleasure for me, since I was in the closet. It felt like a power fantasy
disguised as a 1st person account of the near term future (since it was written
for people around middle school age) so
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════┴╧═══────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
--- #98 fediverse/1532 ---
╔═════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────┐
║ modern cowboys don't necessarily say "howdy" or "pardner" │
║ │
║ they tend to say things like "hello" and "can I help you with that?" or "I │
║ see. Can you describe the problem in more detail? I'm especially curious about │
║ the part where you do this thing" or "Heh, it is pretty neat, isn't it?" or │
║ "Is there anything I can do to help?" or "Oh no! I'm sorry you feel that way. │
║ That emotion is a difficult one." or "He was a good person. I'll never forget │
║ him." or "would you like to go to the 2nd hand store and pick up some jeans?" │
║ or "I made you an egg sandwich. If you don't want it I'll eat it myself, │
║ though I made one for me as well. Wouldn't want to waste it." or "Hey, this │
║ part is broken. Is anyone working on fixing it? Yes? Okay I'll see if they │
║ need any help. No? Alright how about we fix it this way? I can get started." │
║ or "You are very welcome. Please let me know if there's anything else I can │
║ help you with." or "well, the ticket backlog is empty, and I'm just about │
║ going insane doing nothing but stare at my boots." │
╟─────────┐ ┌───────────┤
║ similar │ chronological │ different │
╚═════════╧══════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────┴──────────┘
--- #99 fediverse/4999 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────
"you are fantasizing"
scroll past.
"you are building empty hope"
scroll past.
"you are kayfabe"
scroll past. Also, no I'm not, but there's plenty of that going around.
"you are moving too quickly"
scroll past.
"you are legitimately insane"
scroll past.
"everyone wants you"
scroll - wait hang on, that one's true. I know it's true because I like to
hear it, teehee.
"wait until the weekend"
yes, and
"wait until may, first"
yes, and
"wait until they win"
no, but these things build with momentum. The energy is high. It will only get
higher if you make it so.
"the things you're saying will only be read by the people who already believe
what you're saying. This is a waste of time. You're burning your energy typing
on your keyboard when you could be walking the streets which is... somehow
more productive than writing something to share later."
... scroll past...
"your have no reach here"
oh hey you're right maybe I should post to bluesky as well
"everyone wants anarchy. We got your back."
ty
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────┘
--- #100 fediverse/5446 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────
┌────────────────────────┐
│ CW: cannabis-mentioned │
└────────────────────────┘
on one hand, "save your readings" said by a witch
on the other, "I gotta practice" said by me, a clearly non-addicted person
on the third, "I am compelled" said by me, a clearly non-possessed person
on the fourth, "It must enter this mortal realm" said by me, a clearly
rational person
on the fifth day of christmas my true love said to me "please stop you're
scaring me I can't help this awful vaguery who is in control?" said by a music
song
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────┘
--- #101 fediverse/1801 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
people call me "hypervigilant" as if being constantly aware is not a normal
state for them.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────┘
--- #102 fediverse/480 ---
╔═════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────┐
║ There's something important in what I said tonight. And each of you will think │
║ it's something different, which is by design. Can you find the nugget I wanted │
║ to share, to you in particular? Can you isolate the thing that is relevant to │
║ you, the person perceiving the words that I speak? Oh yeah you're only looking │
║ for things to express to your superiors because someone else told you to look │
║ for a particular type of sentiment. My bad. Sorry for being cryptic. Am I so │
║ strange for seeking the human element? Perhaps I lose myself, and I speak to │
║ the void (and by "void" I don't mean to demean you, the audience, because you, │
║ the audience, are surely comprised of people who surely have their own │
║ experience and existence. Surely nobody would seek to harm me, after hearing │
║ those things I speak. Surely we, as the human species, would not be vulnerable │
║ to the types of weaknesses that allow for critical failures in our defences │
║ such as the kind that I am professing to exploit (while being aligned to you) │
║ surely we wouldn' │
╟─────────┐ ┌───────────┤
║ similar │ chronological │ different │
╚═════════╧══════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────┴──────────┘
--- #103 fediverse/4068 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
there will always be people who shine in moments of strife
yet those people will inevitably fail, just as a toothbrush bristle looses
it's strength or a pencil loses it's lead
the trick is to test them in times of peace, so you can know their value
during times that lack it, the trick is to replace them before they become
stalin
never forget that power corrupts, yet power must be wielded by the worthy,
else we fall into shame and despair.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────┘
--- #104 notes/me-and-my-magick-mission ---
═════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-
|| ||
|| Me and My Magick Mission -/u/Afoolfortheeons ||
|| ||
-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-
I'm a quiet person by nature,
You might even mistake me for a mouse,
But online I try to be a teacher,
And to do that I need to be more verbose.
I write thousands of words per day;
Posting them here and there, far and near.
I never run out of things to say.
Awakening others is something I hold dear.
Which is why it pains me greatly
To be like an alien on my own home planet.
Schizophrenia makes me innately
Weird in ways that many people don't get,
And because of that I'm shot down
When I try to accomplish my stated mission.
I won't lie, that does make me frown.
Sometimes it makes me regret a submission.
Yet, I have a certain strength in me
That allows me to persevere in my quest.
Someday I will make you all see
Just what in me makes me never rest.
That's what I am trying to teach:
The wisdom that made me indomitable.
If only the suffering I could reach,
They could make themselves more formidable.
The world is in a most dire place;
It's grinding so many souls into fine dust,
But luckily there's a saving grace.
Hear me as I say this now: In God I trust.
I don't believe in some sky wizard
As so many people are likely to interpret.
I speak of what is lacking in lizards;
Yes, it's love and now I'll speak of its merit.
Love is what fills the empty hole
In your heart and soul when you are alone.
When life's trials take their toll
Remember this one trick: pick up the phone!
No, not the one in your hands.
I'm talking about the one in your chest.
Even in the desert full of sand,
You're accompanied by the universe's best.
Listen if you doubt what I said:
I'm not telling you anything that defies logic.
This is to trick what's in your head;
I'm speaking about how having faith is magick.
Believe in aliens or Bigfoot or God,
The result is still the same: your cup will fill.
Your brain has a feature that's odd
That allows itself to manifest even more will.
I don't know why, but I suspect
It has something to do with your imagination.
The nature of your thoughts impact
Your state of being from pulse to emotions.
So, why not think you have a friend
Who helps you through whatever your trial,
And will stick by you until the end?
When you have that buddy you'll always smile,
Which will make you heal better,
As well as help you carry on in your duty,
Plus undo your karmic fetters,
Not to mention it will land you that cutie;
All of which will raise us all.
It's about creating positive ripples across time
That add up to a pile that's tall.
Every moment is an opportunity in its prime,
So reach out and grab it now.
Meditate on feeling love and it will come to be.
Can't do it? I'll show you how!
In order to do so, I'll tell you a story about me:
It was seven years ago and I
Thought I knew everything one could know,
But no matter how hard I'd try,
I couldn't make my life in any direction go.
Then one fateful spring night,
While I was on a hit of the ol' psychedelics,
I received one hell of a fright.
Don't worry what it was, just know it did stick.
My perceptions were distorted,
Allowing me to see the divine in its entirety.
My destroyed ego then contorted
Into one that was full of an abundance of piety.
The moral of the story? Do drugs?
No silly, it's to have more novel experiences.
One of them will give you a hug,
Which will help you stop being so serious.
Then you can let go and embrace
The whole of the wisdom to you I am telling.
More people need to cuz we face
A great set of tests on our planetary dwelling.
That is one reason I write,
But I also want to alleviate people's pain,
And stop every last fight.
I care so much, I do this without financial gain.
Everyday I write my lessons
Guided by the hand of God who is my heart,
Hoping that entropy will lessen;
This sort of pedagogy is none other than my art.
So now you know who I am,
Yet you only know one lesson of mine.
I have more if you're in a jam.
-===========================================-
| Read on if you want to know the divine. |
-===========================================-
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
--- #105 fediverse/1971 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: drugs-mentioned-probably-delusional-psychosis-idk-though-i'm-not-a-doctor │
└──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
listen, if you didn't want me to do a bunch of drugs then why would you
consistently say "please stop doing drugs" every time I do drugs? And no I'm
not hallucinating a voice in my head telling me "please stop doing drugs"
because A. it's not a voice, I'm not hearing it with my hears, which means B.
it's definitely just a hallucination, and hallucinations are always to be
considered WRONG and BAD, right? Or was I not listening in therapy? Ah, well,
better take another hit, where's my shotglass? Hmmmmm I should watch Adventure
Time, that's a great show.
[bro it's a saturday, why are you getting turnt like it's tuesday]
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────┘
--- #106 fediverse/1603 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────
@user-1037
I made a picture, hope it helps! I swear I didn't hallucinate this thing but
it might be less cool than I thought and I might have misremembered and made
up parts of it, I can't tell because it was such a short memory : (
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────┘
--- #107 fediverse/456 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
@user-342
how is that different than speaking your mind into the soup of opinions that
comprised checks notes the people you went to high school with? (facebook)
Except this time, it's a group of people whose opinions you vaguely agreed
with (as defined by your choice of the instance you dedicate your online
presence to) which has it's own defined peculiarities like the ability to only
show you content you agree with?
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────┘
--- #108 fediverse/4344 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: uspol │
└──────────────────────┘
look if you're gonna look at property values in Ireland, you might as well
first visit a blue state.
seriously if your life is in danger, just... drive to denver or portland and
hang out in parks and stuff. Talk to people. Find others who are listening.
I'd only listen if I really cared about what was going on. And hey, maybe
you'll find a place to stay for a while while you wait for the dawn.
5 hour energy, as many as it takes, no more than 3 days. If it'd take take too
many, go somewhere else.
too bad I only have a bike. /sigh
consider carpooling with a friend you've known for years
I mean, what's a few days sick leave in the face of the fall of democracy?
literally just... in... case... be where you need to be.
this is why you have resources. To spend them on rehearsed organization
drills. Why are you spending all your money on TVs?
Well... TVs can be useful. Even if you don't speak linux someone else might.
We share things now, y'know? sorry if you never again see your own phone.
[shit...]
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────┘
--- #109 fediverse/4024 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
my cat doesn't know that my family is my family. She thinks they're just some
other people who visit the house.
but they're special to me, as all people are, and I think she takes notice.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────┘
--- #110 messages/519 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────
I am currently in the stages of applying to work at a multinational
corporation primarily located outside of America. It is a respectable
institution that commands great respect.
However, I am borderline incapable. If I am chosen to work there, I *will*
fail and I *will* embarrass America on the world stage. I am not one of our
best, nor am I one of our brightest and boldest. I have *unique* perspectives,
and those are *valuable*, but the society and the systems I find myself in has
proven incapable of utilizing me to my utmost potential.
I must work. I cannot work. But I must. I am disabled. But I must be able.
Capitalism compels it.
Would that our system could be something consensual. I am worth more as a
writer than a laborer. Yet laborers are the only ones being hired.
I am not an engineer. I enjoy engineering.
I am not a laborer. I enjoy labor.
I am a writer, and perhaps little else besides.
When I die, nothing remains of me but my bones. My words are not desired. My
life is not impactful. I am not special.
Well... Not special since I have given up cannabis. If I started smoking weed,
if I felt secure and enough to do so, perhaps I might utilize my instability
for great (GREAT) artistic ends.
But art is labor. And labor is difficult.
Where am I to go from here? I cannot pay rent. I am isolated and alone. I am
deprived of affection. I crave it. I am lost in my own heart, begging the
world to give me a start, but the start has passed long ago. There is nothing
to do but what I've been meant to do, what I've been hiding from myself and
the world. I have been wasting my talent on tweets. How mundane.
... I can do better than profane.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────┘
--- #111 fediverse/2806 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
┌────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: politics-social-media-spirituality │
└────────────────────────────────────────┘
pretend this is an allegory for social media.
[it's not an allegory]
yeah that's why I said pretend.
okay imagine that you are sitting in a rock in a forest.
far away, about 100 feet away, there are other people, but you can't see them
because the underbrush is sooooo dense. they are also sitting on rocks.
you can speak to them, and share your thoughts - but you don't know exactly
where they're coming from because the sound has to bounce around off so many
different plants and such.
[that's not how that works] shut up
so, if you want to say anything important, it's important to have the right
tone, because people 2 or 3 clearings away can't really make out your words -
but they might hear your tone if you yell very loud.
the energy of the space you inhabit is the only thing that really matters. the
words that you say are just snickering to a friend, but the expression on your
face, the beating of the drum of your heart that reaches forth... that's what
matters most.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────┘
--- #112 fediverse/2731 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
@user-246
I can 100% relate, to all of this.
we are multifaceted. all people are.
on social media, you follow someone for a particular facet, and if they don't
like your other facets well then it wasn't meant to be.
there's also no shame in pruning people who post things that upset you or that
aren't interesting.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────┘
--- #113 fediverse/6365 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────
if you want people to build community, first get them to like the community.
---
the world needs more thespians. Sing the song of your heart and no-one will
ever neglect you.
---
why are you so worried about your art? everything you touch turns to gold.
---
I've learned more from my friends than my
[job/homelife/worsckool/churchvan/cultureromp] combined. What are we for but
learning?
---
kids can learn from kids. Teach the ones that love you, and they'll be
followed by the rest. Especially if you focus on them.
---
"I never knew how to swing an axe until I scraped a knee on a log that was
hollow. Until then I had been chef-knife chopping with it, with the head for a
handle."
---
... omg what does that even mean why are you so weird
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───┘
--- #114 fediverse/4787 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────
don't take on more than you can handle. if your plate is full, don't check out
the notes by the roadside. Doing so tells all the nearby drivers "hey I need a
job, anyone got anything for me?" which they'll then drop off further along
the route to your house.
if you just walk on by then nobody will notice as you head home.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────┘
--- #115 fediverse/5894 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: nowhere-do-I-see-evil-politics-mentioned-political-violence-mentioned │
└───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
you could type this on a phone
screenshots though is computer.
you'd have to carry it around
or keep it in your hot car
no thanks, no space.
goodbye, everything you ever worked for
why wouldn't you have cameras covering every entrance to your studio? it's not
right to leave it all to a whim
kidnapped
made a prisoner while you
froliced and wandered like a little lamb
you're so dumb, you dumbass, what kind of person could be dumb
whatever girl, we know you're smart
what are you hiding?
what truths are you spying?
are you really as you say you are,
or are you faking it for [truth-awards, but pronounced clout]
![the trick isn't to overcome them. much better to convince them of your side. if you can earnestly present your best and most brilliant intanations to a willing and captive audience, a presentation or a performance or a play you can trick them into your state of consciousness. all you gotta do, really, is act for them, and they'll get along with them plenty. == stack overflow == your foes are primarily concerned with how you'd do if you turned evil. power is penance, not sin. it is a service to be hallowed a whim. to guide and steer upright guided upon their own whim [toward] [ri-tselen-menardi] ew, she's got a diaper fetish -- evil witch >; | -- evil wizard -- | :< -- brave paladin good, overall, [264 characters remaining]](/similar-different/media/61e27998ea4114d3.png "the trick isn't to overcome them. much better to convince them of your side. if you can earnestly present your best and most brilliant intanations to a willing and captive audience, a presentation or a performance or a play you can trick them into your state of consciousness. all you gotta do, really, is act for them, and they'll get along with them plenty. == stack overflow == your foes are primarily concerned with how you'd do if you turned evil. power is penance, not sin. it is a service to be hallowed a whim. to guide and steer upright guided upon their own whim [toward] [ri-tselen-menardi] ew, she's got a diaper fetish -- evil witch >; | -- evil wizard -- | :< -- brave paladin good, overall, [264 characters remaining]")
![if you never lie to someone, they can't hurt you. *enemies* what are you a child stupid. why are you so traumatic. "omg you were like, obsessed with her" *haunted the future* what do you think that meant grrrrr I wanna stab through one. hence, sword *fuck nazis* there are people alive who were hurt by them. GREVIOUS WOUNDINGS TO THE WORLD'S ECONOMY. yeah. right. economy. [oops political violence mentioned, lemme add a content warning one sec:]](/similar-different/media/065d38e5b000c782.png "if you never lie to someone, they can't hurt you. *enemies* what are you a child stupid. why are you so traumatic. \"omg you were like, obsessed with her\" *haunted the future* what do you think that meant grrrrr I wanna stab through one. hence, sword *fuck nazis* there are people alive who were hurt by them. GREVIOUS WOUNDINGS TO THE WORLD'S ECONOMY. yeah. right. economy. [oops political violence mentioned, lemme add a content warning one sec:]")
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────┘
--- #116 messages/89 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────
Consumption is contribution to a capitalist system. Normalize taking whatever
you are given and living as humbly as you can. Only when everyone does that
may capitalism die. Talk to them, learn from their stories. Teach them your
ways but don't force anything upon them. Any ounce of regret is defined as a
mind not aligned to the angle of perception that designs the line that the
collective mind co-re-assigns.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────┘
--- #117 fediverse/4540 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
most people in the world are dumb as a bag of bricks
but that's okay, I still love them, and so should you.
everyone I hang out with is sharp as a tack
and I love them still, for I don't have a preference for blunt objects.
some people don't feel emotions
I think they're just depressed
some people can't stop
won't stop, I say.
really as long as they follow their heart and sing a tune that is true
I think they're alright.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────┘
--- #118 fediverse/2706 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: politics │
└──────────────────────┘
feds will "break" into your house noiselessly while leaving no trace when
you're confirmed to not be home and photograph EVERYTHING.
if you have in-door camera systems, they can disrupt those and they give you
false confidence.
EDIT: also they're trained to always check after opening a door for any fallen
markers and such - like, leaving a piece of paper between the door and the
frame and if it's fallen when you return home, you know someone has been
through that way - and if they notice anything like that they replace it.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────┘
--- #119 fediverse/1280 ---
╔════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────┐
║ I'm like the opposite of a politician. I'm crude and filthy, apsolutely │
║ reprehensible on main, kinda scary tbh? and overall just a strange and weird │
║ person. Also I talk about cooking a lot, with a very plain diet (carrots and │
║ rice and sticks and mud, because I'm an autistic) │
║ │
║ but ask anyone who knows me and I'm the kindest person. I am empathetic, I │
║ think about others needs before thinking of my own. I am steadfast and │
║ dedicated to solving the problem in front of our noses. At least, the ones we │
║ share. │
║ │
║ People tell me I'm binary, that I'm "either 100% or zero percent" and I don't │
║ really get that either. Isn't it a good thing to try your hardest? Isn't it │
║ good to be improving and honest and ethical and driven and focused? │
║ │
║ I also talk about strange things a lot, like gravity and multidimensional │
║ arrays and grand narratives and emotional kinesthesia or strategic plays in │
║ Overwatch or how to bake a good cookie or ways we still mourn us. │
║ │
║ ... where was I going with this? Also part of me is distracted. Just who th │
╟─────────┐ ┌───────────┤
║ similar │ chronological │ different │
╚═════════╧═════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────┴──────────┘
--- #120 messages/399 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────
The schizophrenic sees the truth in dazzling displays of color that are nigh
incomprehensible, while regular people see truth in shades of gray that you
can understand and work with.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────┘
--- #121 fediverse/3102 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
dear whoever keeps whispering "work with me" on the wind:
yes, please get in touch with me, I'll do anything you ask and I'll use an
Anakin accent if you want
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────┘
--- #122 fediverse/3058 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
@user-1441 @user-670 @user-113
currently toe-ing the boundary between "too neurodivergent to function" and
"can juuuuust barely take care of themselves" and they ask me to get a job...
no thanks, guess I'll die
(in 3-4 months when my savings run out)
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────┘
--- #123 fediverse/1410 ---
╔════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────┐
║ whoa, what time is it? "time for your daily sleeping babe" yes babe... │
║ │
║ but first, some horror [beware the psycherwaul, for she likes to dream and has │
║ no idea what she's talking about] │
║ │
║ {why would you post these all at once? people are going to get pissed at you │
║ for breaking rules that you didn't know. And by "you" I of course mean "the │
║ kind of people you are, not you in particular because you know things" and by │
║ "kind of people you are" I mean "the type of person who spends enough time on │
║ the internet to know how internet things generally work" like my goodness │
║ internet people are dramatic. There's sooooo much drama all the time, like... │
║ why │
║ │
║ oh yeah because people are dramatic. duh. How could I be so vain. │
║ │
║ what's your deal │
║ │
║ is it wrong to post links to things you've written in the past? ehh it's not │
║ like there's rules on the sidebar like on Reddit or whatever. what would a │
║ sidebar even look like on Mastodon? │
║ │
║ oh yeah, a person's profile. Except, the consent is backwards, because people │
║ hear what they hear. │
╟─────────┐ ┌───────────┤
║ similar │ chronological │ different │
╚═════════╧═════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────┴──────────┘
--- #124 fediverse/1401 ---
╔════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────┐
║ some people are the memory kind of autistic, where they know everything about │
║ a thing and it's the coolest thing │
║ │
║ I'm more like... the optimizing autistic, where everything has to be perfect. │
║ and if it's not perfect, then you should change it. and if you can't change │
║ it, then you should tell someone else to change it. and if nobody can change │
║ it, then you should consider it part of the context / starting variable and │
║ then just say "okay" and treat it like it's normal and something you should │
║ use to inform the rest of your optimization actions / decisions. │
║ │
║ other people are other kinds of autistic that's not a comprehensive │
║ classification system. But I mention the first kind explicitly so I can │
║ contrast it with my experience, which is implied to be [impulsively?] │
║ different in the kind portrayed in the following contrastion, where I mention │
║ how I'm autistic and don't get "irony" or "sarcasm" that people on the │
║ internet seem to revel in in a way that makes me feel isolated and anyway │
║ optimization is great becaus │
╟─────────┐ ┌───────────┤
║ similar │ chronological │ different │
╚═════════╧═════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────┴──────────┘
--- #125 fediverse/4470 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
to be "rich" is to have more than another.
if you are happy, they are happiness poor.
if you have community, they are alone.
if you have serenity, they are chaotic.
I am rich in very little but fire in my soul.
I have enough in most cases, but I still struggle to pay rent.
I am warmed by the pearl my swirling darkness has coalesced into. It nourishes
me and keeps me aligned.
Never forget your purpose and your truth. It will not abandon you, so long as
you do so too.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────┘
--- #126 fediverse/3131 ---
╔═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────┐
║ ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: politics-social-media-fascism-sucks-mentioned │ │
║ └───────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ @user-579 │
║ │
║ I've had IRL friends who made accounts on servers that got defederated. │
║ │
║ They were confused why I didn't respond to their likes, comments, and │
║ subscribes. │
║ │
║ I had no knowledge of them because they had the misfortune of accidentally │
║ making an account on a server that once had nazis on it. WHOOPS. │
║ │
║ It's easy to turn someone off of a concept like decentralized social media. │
║ It's very easy for them to become a "yeah I tried it but it wasn't for me" │
║ kind of person. Feeling isolated from the one person you know in real life who │
║ also uses this cool new social media site is a quick way to do so... │
║ │
║ At the same time, Nazis exist. How do you defeat them if not blocking? │
║ │
║ well... blocking only works if they're corralled into 4chan and it's 2010. Now │
║ that fascism owns the social media giants like Twitter, they are platformed, │
║ and so they spread. │
║ │
║ And we are corralling ourselves into our archipelagic islands of invite-only │
║ rooms where we can talk to ourselves for fun. │
╟─────────┐ ┌───────────┤
║ similar │ chronological │ different │
╚═════════╧════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────┴──────────┘
--- #127 fediverse/2975 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
@user-1411
doctors (the ones who are diagnosing autism) don't care about classifying
people. I personally don't believe they should.
Instead they try and classify symptoms, and if you don't present any negative
symptoms then there's little reason to talk to a doctor. Meaning little reason
to seek out an autism diagnosis except for curiosity.
I was the kid you were describing btw, except maybe with a bit of neglect
thrown in around ages 4+
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────┘
--- #128 fediverse/471 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
you, the viewer, exists in a context.
and you, the other viewer, who exists in a contexts such as that which is
comprised as the context of someone who lives in an apartment complex, exists
in close proximity with other humans. Humans who might hear you if you spoke
aloud, who might hear you if you exclaimed your words quite loud(ly), who
might perceive you as another (like you and me) and could (perhaps) share
something heartfelt between our own shared contexts
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────┘
--- #129 notes/satisfactory-academic-progress-appeal ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────
This month, I was diagnosed with Schizotypal disorder. I had a single hour to
talk to a psychiatrist (thank you, insurance) and he explicitly told me that my
diagnosis was preliminary.
Schizotypal is a type of neurodivergence similar to autism but with elements of
schizophrenia (paranoia, delusional and / or magical thinking) and my
presentation includes ADHD symptoms such as difficulty focusing. When
medicated,
I have difficulty concentrating, however the paranoia and delusional thinking
is
suppressed. The treatment plan is ongoing and developing.
These issues have been present for the entire time I've been at WGU, and
before.
However, I am seeking treatment now because I had begun to have difficulty
maintaining a job and keeping a home.
Currently, my medication is working. However the greatest issue facing me right
now is financial problems - I couldn't maintain a job while unmedicated, and
frankly while medicated I am still having difficulty for different reasons.
However the intent is to refine the medication choices to find a solution that
works for me. However, employment is still a concern, and so I have requested
and been approved for a term break of at least 2 months with the option to
extend. During this term break I intend to resolve the financial issue however
I can. Ideally in such a way that will allow me to apply myself toward school
work.
This degree is important to me. Without it, I won't be able to find employment
in the tech industry aside from technician roles. My previous experience with
them has given me experience, and I learned quite a bit... Until I ran out of
things to learn. I do not believe I could handle that type of work long-term
for
various reasons. In the short term, I may attempt it but I am convinced that I
will burn out quickly.
I currently feel as if I am disabled. I don't know if it's true, perhaps I'm
just going through a rough patch. But once my savings hit zero, I'm out on the
streets, and I won't live long like that.
When thinking about whether or not I'll be able to complete my degree, I
honestly cannot give you an answer. I've been in higher education for over a
decade, surely I should have finished by now. But I cannot get over various
hurdles it seems, and frankly I have no idea why. It's... Maddening, to see
yourself, so full of potential, yet chained to the form and circumstances you
are given. I wonder what choices might I have made differently to avoid my
fate,
if it truly is my fate to fail in this way, but I have no answers.
I am intelligent, of this I am certain. I know more about computers than
anybody
I know, and I would love to apply myself toward them. But I lack a degree, so
I
cannot be seen by recruiters and hiring managers. I try to work on my degree,
but I find the words on the page grow dense like the forest between the trees,
and I cannot see a way through to reach new understandings. Why do I keep
learning these things? I already know what a callback function is, what
interfaces are used for, how to implement safe multithreading in a parallel
environment, I know how networking protocols interact with hardware and how the
airflow through a case affects the thermals of a computer's internals. I've
grown crystallized in my knowledge, it seems, due to the endless pursuit of
these foundations. I think I would excel in the higher-level courses, but... I
can't get there. I crave the insights that might be learned in a master's
degree, but my brain is not wired for homework. I'm not built to cram for
tests,
to learn someone's else's tools and frameworks. I don't know what I could be
doing better, it feels like I'm so alone. I guess it's my own fault for picking
an online school, but WGU is the best of the online schools, and I needed
online
because I move around a lot. Well... I used to. My boyfriend moved around a
lot,
but now he's my ex-boyfriend. Oh well.
... Anyway you can probably see why I have difficulty with school. It's
difficult for me to stay on track. I can start working on my project 5 or 6
times in a day and make marginal at best progress, and each time it hurts more
and more to return. I don't have an answer, but I don't know what to do if not
to pursue my degree. I feel as if I'm on the brink of despair in my life, and
if
you read these appeals often, I imagine you hear that a lot.
I will apply myself more to my coursework. Once I find a job, I will give
everything to my school, even as it breaks me. I am... intense, and I feel
strongly that I must get this degree. Between it and me, there is quicksand,
but
I must get through.
Thank you for your consideration. I understand however you decide. If I can
knab
a decent job, I might be able to pay for my degree myself, given a couple
months
to save up for it. But I highly doubt I could find such a thing in this economy
and this life I do lead.
Please consider me, I will accept any aid that is offered.
Cameron
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────┘
--- #130 fediverse/2211 ---
╔══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────┐
║ I know that a normal life is what you wanted. It's what I want, too. But don't │
║ shoot the messenger; they took it once, from you. │
║ │
║ I know you wanted to be happy. You still can be, it's true! Your life is but a │
║ story, and your heart does shine through. │
║ │
║ I know it seems unending. Ive never seen it rain like this monsoon! It seems │
║ to just get worse and worse, every time you turn on the tube. │
║ │
║ It's not something that can be suffered, it's rising past your shoes. But │
║ they're on borrowed time, and Death will soon be repaid his dues. │
║ │
║ They say that when the whole village hates the preacher, his flock becomes a │
║ pack. And frankly I think we're all just a bit sick, of the lies that keep │
║ their sins intact. │
║ │
║ When swallowed by endless traumas, and hope is enshrouded in gloom, there's │
║ not much to work for, except the aversion of our shared doom. │
║ │
║ There are no grand narratives, no great and calamitous struggle. Just the │
║ moments of honored resistance, against a foe too broad to wrestle. │
║ │
║ At least, if you're alone. You're not. │
╟─────────┐ ┌───────────┤
║ similar │ chronological │ different │
╚═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────┴──────────┘
--- #131 fediverse/3780 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────
"Hey, I'm not actually [username]. We just didn't know if we could trust you,
so we sent one of our best and boldest, aka me. You seem chill though which is
why I'm telling you now. My real username is [username], you can message me
there if you want. Oh and here's an invite to an encrypted IRC server, you can
google how to connect - post there if you need anything important, otherwise
just pretend like nothing changed. Anyway I sent this at 4 in the morning so
that you could respond whenever you wanted. I really enjoyed our conversation
about [subject] and I know someone who's into [subject] so I could hook you up
with them if you want.
Welcome to our community, let's [insert goal here] together."
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────┘
--- #132 fediverse/1322 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────
┌──────────────────────────┐
│ CW: hard-drugs-mentioned │
└──────────────────────────┘
one of the greatest gifts LSD gave me was the ability to look in the mirror
and see a person beyond me.
your reflection has all the same emotions as you, and if you look at them like
you'd try to parse the feelings of a friend, you can learn a bit more about
how you're thinking.
... procrastination >.>
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────┘
--- #133 messages/747 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────
if you don't want to be hunted, then give "evil" it's own queer culture
what's that? they don't like what you offered? they want it to be *their* kind
of "evil"?
fine, do it themselves and then leave us alone, jeez -.-
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────┘
--- #134 fediverse/709 ---
╔══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────┐
║ @user-530 │
║ │
║ I get it. │
║ │
║ Anyone with a disability or chronic condition gets it. Anyone who's oppressed │
║ gets it... I think everyone here gets it. It's hard. │
║ │
║ Sometimes the only thing that gets me through the day is the hope, the idea │
║ that one day the world might be brighter and the people might be kinder. It │
║ gets better every day, but inching ahead takes a while to travel for miles... │
║ We need to protect and care for each other. We need to apply ourselves toward │
║ what we know and are passionate for - an unused degree is a tragedy to me. │
║ │
║ I don't know what to say. I read what you said and I wished I could help. I │
║ want to take the system that hurt you and break it on the floor. I want to │
║ sweep it all aside and start from scratch, but screaming into the void will │
║ hardly accomplish that. I dream of true justice, a world where everyone gets │
║ what they want... But frankly right now I just wish you could hear. I'm sorry. │
║ Maladies are not solved by the pen nor the sword, which for now is all that I │
║ have at my disposal. │
╟─────────┐ ┌───────────┤
║ similar │ chronological │ different │
╚═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────┴──────────┘
--- #135 fediverse/5626 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────
nobody around me does what I tell them to.
I am surrounded by plausible deniabilities.
yet sometimes things get done as I thought them to.
something something hei wu hei or wei hu wei or whatever. I am not a scholar.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────┘
--- #136 fediverse/6350 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────
┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: suicide-mentioned-this-curse-will-give-you-nightmares-of-what-could-yet-be │
└──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
the only thing that could make me want to end my own existence is ultimate
betrayal. If the nature of the universe is twisted to defile me. Nothing fills
me with more spite than unrequited vengeance.
desecreation of truth. How could you.
I would do anything to be struck down where I stand. Power is penance.
I cannot take responsibility for any of my actions, for I am infinitely
vulnerable on all fronts. Therefore, it's all my fault.
What am I? Please, tell me before the dawn, let the sun not grace me once more.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───┘
--- #137 fediverse/4031 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
if you want to "not think about a purple elephant", the first step is to
imagine yourself slaying it
... okay how about cthulu - if you don't want to imagine cthulu nomming on our
gravity well, then picture yourself wielding a bright burning blade of fire
and vengeance and pay special attention to the way that you cauterize each
tentacle as you slice them one by one at first, and then in a massive flurry
at best, ultimately leading to the incomparable brightness that radiates out
from your shining blade of the sky, which blinds the poor beast who can't see
you as you approach, piercing the skull and then going home for some toast
if you can get good at that, then you can wield magic
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────┘
--- #138 fediverse/4562 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────
I like being alone. But if I'm alone for too long, I suffocate. I start acting
like a weird nerd who doesn't know what to do with their hands.
If I spend too much time with people, I get exhausted and I can't think
straight. I start using other people's mannerisms instead of my own.
I'm not an introvert, or an extrovert, I think the dichotomy is stupid and
people have completely separate needs that deplete and recharge at their own
rates.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────┘
--- #139 fediverse_boost/5734 ---
◀─╔══════════════════════════════[BOOST]════════════════════════════════─────────╗
║ ┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐ ║
║ │ @user-1865 She didn't deserve a lot of cruelty she received. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ She was a wonderful person, who just couldn't stop talking, never sat still, yelled sometimes and was scared of everything but tried anyway. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ Needed several medications just to sleep or she'd go crazy. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ I am exactly like her, I just found out what was really going on with my body and brain. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ She never got that chance, and things got awful after this. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ I feel like that was when her soul died, and I've missed her since. │ ║
║ └────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ ║
╠─────────┐ ┌───────────╣
║ similar │ chronological │ different ║
╚═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─┴───────╝─▶
--- #140 fediverse/2654 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
I'm not bitter, you're bitter. >.>
... okay, take a breath, you're fine. It's hard to handle negative feelings
when you're alone because other people can't boost you up. We rely on each
other for emotional stability, but when you're alone you can only feel your
emotions at the same rate as your thoughts. And your thoughts need to process
the events you're experiencing, using emotion as an "encoding" for preserving
the "meaning" of your life's story. Bit by bit you learn new things, while
living through life, and the lessons you learn from them are generated from
the cognitive conclusions reached by cognitively interpreting emotional
reactions to each moment. like "this-or-that thing happened and I feel
that-or-this way, meaning I should act such-and-such way in the future when
presented with situations that bear similarity to this current one that's
ongoing."
... turn it upside down, right, makes sense mastodon feed. thanks for
redirecting me in a different direction through your pseudo-randomized input.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────┘
--- #141 fediverse/2848 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
oh btw to the people trying to doxx me there's a picture of me in this
profile, but you'll have to read a LOT to find it. On the way, see if you pick
up anything interesting that you agree with. maybe you'll realize that we're
on the same team, and should be working together.
that's the dream, at least.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────┘
--- #142 fediverse/1342 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────
we should be able to vote on "minors DNI" tags that mechanically prevent
people who didn't lie about their age when creating their account from viewing
a piece of data transmitted over the internet
and if it's suitably controversial then no matter which way the vote swings it
gets blocked (temporarily) anyway
sorry I was connecting to a "think of the children" kind of person recently
and that's what my brain came up with >.>
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────┘
--- #143 fediverse/2976 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: uspol │
└──────────────────────┘
on our current trajectory, the presidential election is already won.
now we can get back to on-the-ground organizing, the part that actually
improves life instead of maintaining our current (unethical) state.
As long as our allies (liberals) continue to work, perhaps there may come a
day when we can stand against them as friendly equals in the ballot box. But
for now we are best known through friends and community rather than TV.
I am optimistic in a way I haven't been for a while. I know that the more we
speak, the more we share, the more they falter, the more people we can save
from their vice grip of despair. There is no better world than the one we
build together!
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────┘
--- #144 fediverse/4044 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
┌───────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: not about anyone here │
└───────────────────────────────┘
@user-1259
That happens a lot with online people. You can only see one side of them, the
side they present to the camera, and so it's difficult to find new ways of
looking at them. Hopefully you can find the brighter sides of this person! I'm
sure they exist, unless the person is spiralling. Then they'll often be
pushing themselves first one way, then the next, but both directions point
down... And that produces the ":(" feeling. Good luck!
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────┘
--- #145 fediverse/1946 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
the art of propaganda is being in the right social media place at the right
time with the right things to share. Sometimes you have to blend in, that's
okay. The words are what are important, if you think "huh yeah true, where's
the lie though" then maybe it'll not be such a betrayal.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────┘
--- #146 messages/562 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
Why do I feel like the only one who's resisting fascism
(and what exactly do you do? Make friends)
*yes* I'm too scared and tired to do anything else or less
Like seriously what else could I do
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────┘
--- #147 fediverse/4073 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
post until you can't anymore
capitalism wants to drown your voice
do not let it
speak until you cannot speak
then go do some pushups
then find some friends
then pitch a tent in the park
then explain to the cops that you're not actually homeless and living there
you're just trying to do this as a social statement because someone on the
internet told you to
then use your phone call to call your representative and complain about how
much funding the police get
then study law for 30 years because that's how long the government decided
your life was worth
by then you'll probably have figured out a better plan moving forward, so, use
that one instead
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────┘
--- #148 fediverse/996 ---
╔═══════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────┐
║ if you don't respect - wait hang on thats not what I was going to say - okay │
║ here goes: the perspective of others then you are working against them. why │
║ bother contestation when cooperation could work best? problem is, of course, │
║ the other side can't be trusted. that's just how it goes, a prisoner's │
║ dillemna, or rather "dilemma" as they spell it over there. wait hang on that's │
║ not what I was going to say - oh yeah - if you do something in a place where │
║ it's not expected then it stands out as a statistical anomaly that can be │
║ viewed and detected. which is why it's imporant to always be true to yourself │
║ and virtuous. because your "self" is aligned to the future, a place of warmth │
║ and compassion, honesty and deliberation. [direct action on a larger than │
║ personal scale] │
║ │
║ what was I saying oh yeah if you mess with fate, it can change things a bit. │
║ all you'd need is the diffusion of the strands, and then it's a bigger task to │
║ undo them. like... dancing, when you're really into it. or like swimming with │
║ ripples, exc │
╟─────────┐ ┌───────────┤
║ similar │ chronological │ different │
╚═════════╧════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────┴──────────┘
--- #149 fediverse/677 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
@user-78
I read about half of this:
https://jo.wtf/6d.html
before I was consumed by the intense urge to prop myself up on a pillow and
listen to you rant at the ceiling at 4am about gravity or the cosmos or
whatever you were thinking about prior to speaking your heart
and then I'd write it down, and cherish every moment of it as I shared it with
my peers and we tried to analyze just what you meant
[sorry for being gay on your timeline]
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────┘
--- #150 fediverse/5486 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────
┌───────────────────────┐
│ CW: cursing-mentioned │
└───────────────────────┘
"ew but they're dirty"
oh yeah true
okay new plan how much do you think it'll cost to buy a hotel
[this is why the socialists invented buy-in]
"I don't think socialists did that??"
buy in, hmmmm, what's that? oh yeah it's when you say "hey what if we X'd" and
they said "yes I agree with you because you present a reasonable estimate on
reality"
{uh hi I just got a message from "some-nowhere" here ya go: "oh my god she's
fuckig instane}
[ugh cursing-mentioned, that means there's fewer characters to transmote.]
[no because then I'd run out of steam and it'd be incomplete. Plus sometimes I
like the distraction of a reasonable limitation.]
(okay, but are YOU worth it?)
leave her alone she's working her charms, this is how witches d-do.
"so, isn't the point to give yourselves the coverage of a location
transmutation? so, wouldn't you want to find someone alike and share their
life?"
what is even the point, why even bother, just give them
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────┘
--- #151 fediverse/4012 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
you can't just tell people you're enlightened. You gotta trick them, and
convince them you're sane first.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────┘
--- #152 fediverse/4212 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
┌────────────────────────┐
│ CW: politics-mentioned │
└────────────────────────┘
if you ever hear random fireworks outside of your house sometimes it's a good
idea to like... get out of town? and see what whoever else you can meet in the
next town over is doing.
... I don't have a car, silly me haha
why do we train homeless people to stand outside in the open and be shamed by
a cardboard box around their ancle? It's impossible to recover from, it's
vulnerabilizing, and it's painful. How immoral. How crude. These people should
not be shamed in this way, they should be respected (unless they're crude)
like, if they kinda just suck y'know? like... they keep starting fights or is
soooo bad at singing but does it anyway or lacks all decent sense
seriously, he's such a bad candidate why is he even running. It's solely to
elect vance, who trump will be a blood sacrifice for.
how callous. how vain. to think that such a feast would be left unclaimed.
Perish the youth, perish the fields, perish in misery harmony and dissaray
[51 characters remaining, but you deserve a CW]
![if you ever hear random fireworks outside of your house sometimes it's a good idea to like... get out of town? and see what whoever else you can meet in the next town over is doing. ... I don't have a car, silly me haha why do we train homeless people to stand outside in the open and be shamed by a cardboard box around their ancle? It's impossible to recover from, it's vulnerabilizing, and it's painful. How immoral. How crude. These people should not be shamed in this way, they should be respected (unless they're crude) like, if they kinda just suck y'know? like... they keep starting fights or is soooo bad at singing but does it anyway or lacks all decent sense seriously, he's such a bad candidate why is he even running. It's solely to elect vance, who trump will be a blood sacrifice for. how callous. how vain. to think that such a feast would be left unclaimed. Perish the youth, perish the fields, perish in misery harmony and dissaray. [see how easy it is to summon a demon? gotta be careful with phylac [zero characters remaining]](/similar-different/media/3d0006cc33e43899.png "if you ever hear random fireworks outside of your house sometimes it's a good idea to like... get out of town? and see what whoever else you can meet in the next town over is doing. ... I don't have a car, silly me haha why do we train homeless people to stand outside in the open and be shamed by a cardboard box around their ancle? It's impossible to recover from, it's vulnerabilizing, and it's painful. How immoral. How crude. These people should not be shamed in this way, they should be respected (unless they're crude) like, if they kinda just suck y'know? like... they keep starting fights or is soooo bad at singing but does it anyway or lacks all decent sense seriously, he's such a bad candidate why is he even running. It's solely to elect vance, who trump will be a blood sacrifice for. how callous. how vain. to think that such a feast would be left unclaimed. Perish the youth, perish the fields, perish in misery harmony and dissaray. [see how easy it is to summon a demon? gotta be careful with phylac [zero characters remaining]")
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────┘
--- #153 fediverse_boost/6155 ---
◀─╔════════════════════════════════[BOOST]═════════════════════════════════──────╗
║ ┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐ ║
║ │ If I were a person with an irresponsible streak, I could be so problematic. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ I could say things like, "wow, let's spend some time generating traffic that sounds like coded military speak over not-quite-secure channels between fanciful antifa units, to help stymie AI surveillance", for instance. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ Or social media messages that are "accidentally" not made to friends-only filters wherein you mention your concerns about the upcoming operation in "some fictional place" for you and your antifa buddies. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ You know, that kind of really irresponsible suggestion could lead to some creaive thinking! And that in turn could mean we could come up with enough traffic to make it very difficult to auto-sort noise from signal? Imagine how dangerous that could be for the enemies of antifa, our beloved US government (for we all citizens of the US world). │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ It's unthinkable, really. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ The good news is, I'm not like that. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ Me? Mostly harmless. │ ║
║ └────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ ║
╠─────────┐ ┌───────────╣
║ similar │ chronological │ different ║
╚═════════╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╧═──────╝─▶
--- #154 fediverse/1317 ---
╔════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────┐
║ ... if I don't do this deadline by tomorrow they'll kick me out of school. │
║ again. │
║ │
║ how am I going to be a programmer without a degree? feels useless to be me. │
║ wish I could code my own horoscope >.> │
║ │
║ o wait dummy that's called "motivation" and "the ability to follow through on │
║ your ideas and planned machinations" - yeah can I get some of that, if you │
║ please? surely just a taste of discipline, through laboring to alter │
║ conditions, surely a bit would suffice. │
║ │
║ c'mon don't fail me now. I can do this. I know I can. I know because I've been │
║ told that I can, now and again through time and time yet again, always I seem │
║ to [stack overflow] │
║ │
║ what's time if not the present amiright │
║ │
║ ... │
║ │
║ anyway... │
║ │
║ it's just git, how hard could it be? it's just calculus, it's just java, it's │
║ just... well, it's not any of those things, not really. it's memorization, │
║ it's application of tools that you've been shown (not that you've grown). It's │
║ a lack of responsibility, where is my honor? ah but I digress, I'm a carpenter │
║ at heart I guess │
╟─────────┐ ┌───────────┤
║ similar │ chronological │ different │
╚═════════╧═════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────┴──────────┘
--- #155 fediverse/1014 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: politics │
└──────────────────────┘
@user-744 @user-246
it's exhausting, but what are we supposed to do? Lie down and rot? That's
incel thinking. I'm not going to do that.
They've already placed the last straw. It's only a matter of time now, the
tide has shifted. You can't prepare for everything, and it's not a good idea
to waste yourself in self-conflageration, but they are increasingly forcing us
to orient our lives around them.
They deserve what's coming.
The oppressed are not the defeated.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────┘
--- #156 fediverse_boost/3867 ---
◀─╔═══════════════════════[BOOST]═════════════════════════───────────────────────╗
║ ┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐ ║
║ │ I really hate "two factor" auth. Like, cool, I get it, it let's you pretend you can divest responsibility for security and recovery, but also it means dropping my phone too hard could be a life disrupting event so somehow I don't really feel like this is for my benefit. │ ║
║ └────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ ║
╠─────────┐ ┌───────────╣
║ similar │ chronological │ different ║
╚═════════╧═════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────┴───────╝─▶
--- #157 fediverse/825 ---
╔══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────┐
║ in the past, for most of there day, there was just... nothing to do. it's │
║ like, nothing to take up your time, nothing to be pulled toward the present. │
║ │
║ but when I was growing up, I had access to video games. and movies. and later, │
║ TV, after the internet, which was a weird combination of ordering of events. │
║ Almost like because of that, I'd have a different interpretation of events. │
║ yeah but like, there's always a continuation of implemented support, [that's a │
║ weird way to express "the state of being shown news broadcasts over a period │
║ of time, measured in terms of engagement"] │
║ │
║ ... what was I saying? oh yeah what I'm doing here is unethical, like │
║ obviously I shouldn't be shouting in such a public place. Why would I do it if │
║ not for an intense and extreme feeling of being ignored or un-[trusted, worthy │
║ of guiding direction based on merit] gosh merit is such a tricky concept too, │
║ like how is it measured, and {that doesn't matter │
║ │
║ ... what was I saying oh yeah I should probably go shout into a void that │
║ nobody ca │
╟─────────┐ ┌───────────┤
║ similar │ chronological │ different │
╚═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────┴──────────┘
--- #158 fediverse/3717 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────
┌─────────────────────────┐
│ CW: mental-health-minus │
└─────────────────────────┘
hey, you know how historically they used to lobotomize young women who were
too fiery, passionate, independent, driven, motivated, and clairvoyant?
they did that on purpose.
that was less than a lifetime ago.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────┘
--- #159 notes/dear-me ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────
dear me:
DO SOMETHING USEFUL FOR ONCE
that's all, fuck off and be helpful
... wow, rude.
yeah I mean, I do helpful things. useful things, somethings.
helpful.
useful.
many such cases, she says, with ultimate certainty, as if narrative could be
prologued. but pronounced prolonged.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────┘
--- #160 fediverse/4853 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────
┌────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: cursed-scary-mentioned │
└────────────────────────────┘
wanna know how to go underground?
just... don't leave your apartment. let your roommates take out your trash and
buy your groceries. don't open your windows and do nothing for as long as
possible.
hope you got lots of edibles... get in shape, will ya? don't waste the paper
in your journals.
not that I intend to do that or anything, but um. for the red states maybe?
use your best judgement yeah haha
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────┘
--- #161 messages/1245 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─
BRB, if you want to talk to yourselfs, I recommend opening a port in your
router and exchanging HTTP packets that create messages on each other's
computers. Can be done in a couple hundred lines of C code that can be 90%
premade or auto-generated. Then, once it's made, you don't have to think about
it again because it's so simple. It's not trying to scale, it's just...
designed for a small, focused, human oriented mindset.\
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════┘
--- #162 fediverse/4526 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: mental-health │
└──────────────────────┘
most people get intrusive thoughts like "punch that baby" or "drink some
gasoline"
my intrusive thoughts are like "who is she" and "we need you" and "lead us"
and "their strength is imagined" and stuff like that
gosh I don't know how ya'll handle it I'd be dead in a ditch if I was
neurotypical.
... intrusive thoughts are not typical
ah. Right. Nevermind then.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────┘
--- #163 fediverse/3718 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────
Real life is improv, but real life is not a skit.
I am unwilling to give control of my life's scene to someone who won't tell me
what they want to do with it.
Even if I don't believe you, I'll still give it to you, but I will remain
cautious and will abandon the scene if it appears that I can trust you to hurt
me.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────┘
--- #164 fediverse/1008 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
@user-353 @user-741
human brains tend to start ignoring signals when they become normalized. Like,
if you are consistently exposed to the same smell you get used to it, and you
stop smelling it. same for noises, and other signals.
it's the same with information, I think, which is why doomscrolling is so bad
for our brains - we go numb and desensitized! It's not good to have all that
bad news all the time.
I bet people believe in the "just world hypothesis" for the same reason.
Essentially, optimizing for equilibrium in all things.
I personally believe true justice is when everyone gets what they want. And if
someone wants that the other person doesn't get what they want, then they
don't want true justice. Like, for example, hateful people can never be
justified because they want another's life to be worse. or they want someone
to be wrong, which creates a contradiction - you can't give both people what
they want if one person wants the other to lose.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────┘
--- #165 fediverse/3975 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
@user-1631
for most of my life... [okay still do]... but it felt like I had different
moods, and depending on how I felt at the time I would act differently.
I forget the things that happen when I'm in a different mood, but I've gotten
to a point where I can generally force myself to stay a certain "mood" while
in certain contexts, and in doing so I can remember everything.
downside is I get burnt out pretty easily if I'm always the same. It's not
ideal.
... anyway if you talk about what you experience then your friends can point
you toward people who "get" you.
like, my parts don't have names, we don't have a group chat or whatever, it's
just... me, but different shades of me.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────┘
--- #166 fediverse/6235 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────
┌─────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: personal-pics-mentioned │
└─────────────────────────────┘
"hey what's up. can you borrow my phone for a bit? here's the password. you
can learn anything you want about me. I told all my socials that I'm away
until a secred code that only they know and me, so... ah nuts they're
definitely gonna forget that, focus on what you know"
... huh? no I'm just saying, if you want to get to know me, check out my
pictures on my phone
here's a read-only copy that you can annotate as you will. I got the originals
and their recipes on my computer at home. I recommend ms. paint for drawing
notes on them.
https://ritz-menardi.neocities.org/words/output-pdf/output6.pdf
I'm an artist I make art but... not on purpose, it's just of me a part.
I fell asleep in a dream lately. I think I'm exhausted.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────┘
--- #167 fediverse/5348 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────
if you want to share something you found online with someone but you don't
want someone to be associated with their social media presence, don't post a
link to their social media presence. instead, take a snip snipping tool print
screen screenshot which is as easy as typing a word and selecting a unit in a
real time strategy game.
ah, but then you gotta insert it into a paint program to save it, so that's
another keypress, and gosh what to name it I wish I could just proclaim it gee
wouldn't it be nice if everyone was watching me?
... psychho
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────┘
--- #168 fediverse/1718 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────
dear old people - did you know computers don't need to have buttons? You can
literally just type what you want to make happen (if you know the magic spell)
and it'll just, do that thing
how cool is that
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────┘
--- #169 fediverse/3981 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
"oh I'd never fall for capitalist propaganda"
"do you mean marketing?"
"yeah that"
"they're not marketing to you, they're going for your kids. Trying to
normalize things about culture."
"like... what McDonalds tastes like?"
"just like that"
[like can you imagine if you tested attraction ratings on any other animal
than humans]
[it'd be so weird like "cats tend to like scratching posts" but then also "we
have no idea what kind of scratching post is the best for their claws or the
environment or the economy or our spirituality or our technology or artistry
we only know which one cats like more"
like bro who cares like obviously advertisements rot your brain, but like...
why are you so pissed about that when the last election like, ever, is taking
place in a month
"yeah listen, when has an election ever seriously changed your quality of
life? It's just showbiznez"
"this time is different because [insert minority] is at risk."
oh, right, it only matters when people are in harm's way, how silly
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────┘
--- #170 fediverse/3986 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
"oh I'd never fall for capitalist propaganda"
"do you mean marketing?"
"yeah that"
"they're not marketing to you, they're going for your kids. Trying to
normalize things about culture."
"like... what McDonalds tastes like?"
"just like that"
[like can you imagine if you tested attraction ratings on any other animal
than humans]
[it'd be so weird like "cats tend to like scratching posts" but then also "we
have no idea what kind of scratching post is the best for their claws or the
environment or the economy or our spirituality or our technology or artistry
we only know which one cats like more"
like bro who cares like obviously advertisements rot your brain, but like...
why are you so pissed about that when the last election like, ever, is taking
place in a month
"yeah listen, when has an election ever seriously changed your quality of
life? It's just showbiznez"
"this time is different because [insert minority] is at risk."
oh, right, it only matters when people are in harm's way, how silly
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────┘
--- #171 notes/hey-hope-you-know-me-if-not-Ill-be-perturbed ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
hi, so... yeah I'm a strange person
it's tough to get to know me
and this probably feels cringe to read
but I once heard you should kill the part of you that cringes
so... here's me
I'm
================================================== stack overflow
==============
... where was I? oh yes and THAT's when the nail went through the roof, and it
scared the heck out of... wait, what was I talking about? OH yes so anyway
I was born in the cool summer of 1864 - there was a rustling breeze that held a
steady note for the entire evening, and into this world I arose. [awoke?]
my mother held me but for a moment before I was whisked away to be cleaned and
cared for. this was unusual for the time, as most mothers clutched their
children to their breasts. But alas, I alone was spared her touch, and so I was
cast (as if in bronze) as my own volition.
as I had grown, I heard tales of distant times, and assumed they were places
you
could go. Then, when my time came to wander, I found nought of what I had grown
most fonder - though I did find plenty else, besides.
Instead, times are places we travel through, as a cripple might ride on a cart.
across the sea, through lands of mystery, viewable only from the road. In 1864
that's how other lands you'd come to know.
As I travelled from place to place, it felt as if a stage had been cast, with a
single actor or three illuminated as a spotlight. "Here, pay attention to me,
I'm here for the story and the plot!" though often I'd glance around, and hear
mostly my own thoughts, I grew to learn to appear.
different themes, different tales, if you want to see a most marvelous scene,
take a baby to Disney World and only pay attention to what they're looking at.
My grandfather worked there, so in my first year or so I spend a LOT of time
there. My parents were very dedicated to raising me, I appreciate every moment
of it. Which... Is probably not a good thing to say on a transfemme server,
oops I should delete that part
[esc->k->k->k->0->v->shift(held)->G->$->"->*]
also I should mention I'm stoned as fuck this is just what I do
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────┘
--- #172 fediverse/3178 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
┌─────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: uspol-revolutions-and-stuff-or-whatever │
└─────────────────────────────────────────────┘
nothing you do on the internet will matter after the revolution. I don't care
how many backups you have, there's a zero percent chance that we'll be able to
figure out whose computer is whose after we've all moved around and given each
other names that don't correspond to the names of our family in states that we
lost.
it doesn't mean the internet is useless right now, it just means that you
should act as if you might not have it in the near future.
also, like... every computer has a password. which basically means that it's
useless unless you reflash it.
pain is temporary, and it is an excellent teacher. there will be pain, but...
we'll get over it.
don't give up. there are brighter things in our future than what we have today.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────┘
--- #173 notes/the=progressive=difference. ---
═════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────────────
think about all the people in our lives. the teacher, the parent, the friend
and the guidance counsulor. Everyone who is a presence in your life. now think
about the people of our society. the different jobs and roles they fill. from
the doctor and the teacher to the performers and accountants and the geeks and
the mothers and the fathers and the stoners and the children and even their
pets. life always exists as it were in a multidimensional spectrum - a diffuse
and diverse gradient. to exemplify the borders of our contempii, though more
so when taken in jest. it's quite a different perspective, to read the
internet when your sight is unreceptive, but alas your third eye can grow. how
does it feel to be blind? to make no sense of our signs? i'd love to share
what that sense is. you know, you could slow down any recording (like a video
game_) and put spaces and gaps inbetween the spacings - of the frames that you
see and the sound clips that you hear, for speech it's less jarring. since
each word is a self contained idea or premise, you can chunk up your
perceptions into a signle - no, rather a procedural sequence of
understandings. soooooooorta like programming a computer, with each statement,
parameter, argum,ent, function call, assignment, comparison, evaluation, or
other such related tasks. it's sorta like a language, you see, that computers
talk to one another using. except... it's more like creating a theory of self.
computers you see are alike us in what we see, the shimmering sense to the
blind.
so. put this another way. record yourself typing, both the audio and the
visual, and you'll have a pretty good sense of what it's like to have both
understanding based perception - derived from auditory inputs to the mind)
those special connections, like wires plugged into reality, deliver a
cacophanous deluge of new sounds. we must sift through it and identify the
potential understandings of each moment through time. we have to make
decisions and traverse labyrinths and fight to our last as we die. are video
games unethical now? shouldn't t he game reward the player? and what of
contemptuous last fighters?
o ya i was typing like i was blind
(with my eyes closed)
was pretty fun. should attach this to a screen reader and have it space out
the notes like they do between game frames. except like a really slow game?
like trying to run elder scrolls 2 arena on a super old mac. it just doesn't
work very well. ah oh well... well if the purpose is to show sighted people
how blind people see, then maybe you could I dunno attach a what's it called
oh it doesn't have a n ame lol - okay so what you do is you show one word at a
time - like flashing in the center of the screen. but not like, actually
flashing, so you don't hurt people with epilepsy, but like... blinking. not
off and on, but between words. like a podcast for your eyes. and then mix it
up withshowing one word on a screen, a screen like this screen, that shows an
endless array of text. well, it does end, of course as all things must do, but
the idea is it shines on one word at a time while the viewer cannot read the
rest. sorta like an endless display of typing, word andfter word after
character anfter character. adoh ya advancing over eternity with the presence
of seniority, - wait - without i think - damnit - old people are so
disrespected in this society - we don't have time to engage with them. what a
tragedy! what a shame! it shouldn't be such a burden to our shame. they're so
far away, and i can't be present in the way, that all of them wish they could
commit to. i miss the days, when my parents (much better people than I - these
days) what was I going with this? oh yeah
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────────────┘
--- #174 fediverse/373 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────
┌──────────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: truth about weed │
└──────────────────────────┘
@user-278
I can't do weed in public places. I need to be alone so that I can properly
use the altered mental state to be weird on the internet.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────┘
--- #175 fediverse/2558 ---
╔══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────┐
║ ┌──────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: pol │ │
║ └──────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ if you happen to glance out your window and see like, 40 trans or punks │
║ outside depending on where you are you're likely to say hi or open fire. │
║ │
║ like, just the impact of such an intense visual for some of the more restful │
║ parts of society might trigger the kind of reaction that someone who's woken │
║ up by a scary dream, bolt of lightning, or like, forcible police arrest in the │
║ middle of the night type of thing might display. │
║ │
║ like, they'd probably have an instinctual defensive reaction because, like, │
║ what else are you gonna do the tiger's literally here to eat your pinky toes │
║ and your kid's toes too │
║ │
║ so, keep that in mind. maybe send the fit nurse who's friendly and good with │
║ talking to people. or like, a schoolteacher who's kind of un-hatable. │
║ │
║ diplomacy is important! but also, like... know your audience, right? like if │
║ you're in the third reich, you probably want to show strength. or, like, avoid │
║ that part of town, and save it for your allies-in-training to handle. use your │
║ best judgement. meet in middle. │
╟─────────┐ ┌───────────┤
║ similar │ chronological │ different │
╚═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────┴──────────┘
--- #176 fediverse/1331 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────
@user-803
if someone does not consent to helping you bear their emotional burdens, but
you insist anyway... that seems to be the narcissism you mentioned
if someone does consent, then they're helping a friend. Or they're being a
therapist for them.
sometimes we can't help but be overcome by emotions. In those moments I find
it's usually best to retreat to a safe space and hide out for a bit until the
storm passes, then maybe return to the world a bit more fatigued but less...
spicy.
those moments show that you need more emotional support, both from yourself
and from others. If the people in your life cannot help you, and you cannot
help yourself... then yeah you're probably gonna hurt people around you. Plan
as such and figure out how to still be a good person, it's up to each of us to
do it in our own way.
... at least, that's how I look at it for my own life, feel free to disagree
or anything
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────┘
--- #177 fediverse/2276 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: pol │
└──────────────────────┘
A good way to get people talking is to meet with a stranger and share your
feelings.
Or, if you're scared of strangers, then try talking with a friend.
"something something SUPREME COURT something whatever CRIMINALIZED PEOPLE blah
blah blah I WON'T STAND FOR IT"
that kind of thing. Make sure you look at your friend for the loud bits, and
maybe look at someone else nearby when it's your friend's turn to speak.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────┘
--- #178 fediverse/2015 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
Hey does anyone have a link to that paper where they used wifi waves on hacked
insecure routers to "see" through walls and build a decent enough
visualization of what a person's doing to be roughly equivalent to
full-body-tracking in VR? I want to see if I can make it work for VR (with
consent)
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────┘
--- #179 fediverse/5739 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────
@user-1773
oh boy do I know that feeling! I got a million things to say and, well, I say
all that I can. I mean, look at this text file, it's got like 101 THOUSAND
lines in it:
https://ritz-menardi.neocities.org/words/compiled.txt
I swear most of it isn't secret messages! That's how you know they're secret -
they require hundreds of man hours to investigate. And if you throw an LLM at
it they start talking about spirituality and theory of mind, gross. Don't need
no AI uprising yet please...
[what if we had a little AI uprising as a treat?]
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────┘
--- #180 fediverse/5785 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────
I cast... spell of the internet!
[reinstalls azerothcore]
or, hear me out, or you could wander around the city, and instead of spending
your moments on lounging or keyboard banging you could do something actually
meaningful?
but I don't wanna - don't care
but I'm tired - take a nap
but I'm stressed out - don't do chore
but I'm lazy - no you're not
but I'm overwhelmed - sit in dark
but I wanna think - you can do that
anywhere
I gotta be near my computer - nope
what if I wanna play games - flip $$$
flipping coin isn't a real game - focus
I don't like outside - outsides all it is
stop taking things from me T.T - yes
life used to be soooooo different
it's like I was a completely different
I'm strange now, almost like I got
possessed like a disease [ew noooo]
pls don't commit thought crimes,
use content warnings
okay but only if I can play games NOTHINGS KEEPING YOU HERE
![I cast... spell of the internet! [reinstalls azerothcore] or, hear me out, or you could wander around the city, and instead of spending your moments on lounging or keyboard banging you could do something actually meaningful? but I don't wanna - don't care but I'm tired - take a nap but I'm stressed out - don't do chore but I'm lazy - no you're not but I'm overwhelmed - sit in dark but I wanna think - you can do that anywhere I gotta be near my computer - nope what if I wanna play games - flip $$$ flipping coin isn't a real game - focus I don't like outside - outsides all it is stop taking things from me T.T - yes life used to be soooooo different it's like I was a completely different I'm strange now, almost like I got possessed like a disease [ew noooo] pls don't commit thought crimes, use content warnings okay but only if I can play games NOTHINGS KEEPING YOU HERE](/similar-different/media/de82ddb559f9f6bb.png "I cast... spell of the internet! [reinstalls azerothcore] or, hear me out, or you could wander around the city, and instead of spending your moments on lounging or keyboard banging you could do something actually meaningful? but I don't wanna - don't care but I'm tired - take a nap but I'm stressed out - don't do chore but I'm lazy - no you're not but I'm overwhelmed - sit in dark but I wanna think - you can do that anywhere I gotta be near my computer - nope what if I wanna play games - flip $$$ flipping coin isn't a real game - focus I don't like outside - outsides all it is stop taking things from me T.T - yes life used to be soooooo different it's like I was a completely different I'm strange now, almost like I got possessed like a disease [ew noooo] pls don't commit thought crimes, use content warnings okay but only if I can play games NOTHINGS KEEPING YOU HERE")
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────┘
--- #181 fediverse/4879 ---
╔════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────┐
║ We should be keeping track of who shows up to things │
║ │
║ like... writing their names down at the door │
║ │
║ just because │
║ │
║ just for fun │
║ │
║ or write graffiti to say "I was here since the last time they painted the │
║ bench" │
║ │
║ or just... remember your friends │
║ │
║ unless of course, a human can only know so many friends │
║ │
║ then they gotta start organizing │
║ │
║ and organization implies trust │
║ │
║ what if we had all our actions described to a computer which would use │
║ language analysis to determine if it skewed good or bad? │
║ │
║ and then if someone's bad, a human operator or team will be assigned to figure │
║ out why. if its a simple fix, then that can be applied. Otherwise it must be a │
║ special clause which will require installation like a terminal computer or a │
║ light system in an unusual place. like a convention center or a hotel. │
║ │
║ but, like, the cool kind of hotel, the kind you'd see in movies like The │
║ Witches (scary) or Home Alone 2 (escape from new york) │
║ │
║ ... how long have you been writing tonight, ritz? │
║ │
║ oh, │
║ you know, │
║ just for all of the lastbit │
╟─────────┐ ┌───────────┤
║ similar │ chronological │ different │
╚═════════╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────┴──────────┘
--- #182 fediverse/4237 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
I can count all of the people in this room who are too neurospicy to be filled
with political rage and given a public platform on one hand, and frankly I
could probably do it on a single finger because I am alone at the moment.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────┘
--- #183 fediverse/999 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: cursed-curséd-scary-not-real-u-dont-have-to-read │
└───────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
@user-246 @user-473
there's a part of me that believes magic is real. other parts that are
convinced. I am a witch, you see, and while I can't quite control fire or
bullets I can do other neat things. if you'd let me, humanity.
I'm not doing an ARG, not intentionally. I pretty much post things I conceive
of, like a conduit passed through spacetime. wild how mind bending the future
can be. will be interesting to see what kinds of things there is in store for
people you and me.
those websites you posted... they're beautiful - I learned things, your method
of expression was too [the words "confess" are heard loudly, super weird] I
especially liked the oven that tries to lure you into a secret third place.
not the mind, nor the body, but someplace besides.
also the graphs and figures were news to me, I mean how could those numbers
ever come to be? but alas that's the truth, that we orbit our proof, and alas
that our meanings are lacking.
[ran out of text]
![this one's a doozy. a picture of the "reasons to trust me" graph colored yellow, orange, purple, and blue (in terms of intensity) it looks like a raindrop if it landed on a really tiny blanket and pulled it downward. or like, a person landing on a trampoline that was secured in four locations. anyway the text reads "like four people sharing the weight of an experience with bacchus [referencing the color of the graph], their perspective is pulled just a little bit in that direction, over and across the gap between eyeballs. or rather, between shared perspectives, the point of view of which one bases their experience. their training for the "reasons to trust me" graph. 2, in black and green and red, colors meant to be cool to a 12 year old - "the color doesn't matter... wine? why" 3 dropping down the page, there's a line of "please" written over and over again. it's scary. : ( I'm doing my best I promise, it's hard not to be in a state of unease! I'm working, I promise, this is valuable. you know they'd block me if they didn't like me. error, 3. that's me, teehee, sorry for making a scene. I promise I'm just an actor, someone who is playing a role. well, alas that were true, I'm really having a mental disorder. Or maybe I'm confused? down here in the subtext it's hard to be choosed. weird how that works, that feeling of being wor [text is cut off, next line] okay I'm realizing there's no way to get it all in this visual description, here let me continue in a second chapter:](/similar-different/media/ed0f1d89739fe8c6.png "this one's a doozy. a picture of the \"reasons to trust me\" graph colored yellow, orange, purple, and blue (in terms of intensity) it looks like a raindrop if it landed on a really tiny blanket and pulled it downward. or like, a person landing on a trampoline that was secured in four locations. anyway the text reads \"like four people sharing the weight of an experience with bacchus [referencing the color of the graph], their perspective is pulled just a little bit in that direction, over and across the gap between eyeballs. or rather, between shared perspectives, the point of view of which one bases their experience. their training for the \"reasons to trust me\" graph. 2, in black and green and red, colors meant to be cool to a 12 year old - \"the color doesn't matter... wine? why\" 3 dropping down the page, there's a line of \"please\" written over and over again. it's scary. : ( I'm doing my best I promise, it's hard not to be in a state of unease! I'm working, I promise, this is valuable. you know they'd block me if they didn't like me. error, 3. that's me, teehee, sorry for making a scene. I promise I'm just an actor, someone who is playing a role. well, alas that were true, I'm really having a mental disorder. Or maybe I'm confused? down here in the subtext it's hard to be choosed. weird how that works, that feeling of being wor [text is cut off, next line] okay I'm realizing there's no way to get it all in this visual description, here let me continue in a second chapter:")
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────┘
--- #184 fediverse/3351 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
privacy doesn't mean anything on the internet to me because privacy on the
internet doesn't mean anything to "them"
gestures vaguely, maybe winks once or twice and/or presents an emphasis face
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────┘
--- #185 fediverse/3894 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
"Here's the thing. If you go around telling people you're crazy, they'll
assume you're JUST crazy."
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────┘
--- #186 messages/522 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────
"I can never tell if people love me or hate me" means you're switching from
manic pixie dream girl to depression junkie
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────┘
--- #187 messages/230 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
Sometimes it feels like I'm the only paranoid person with terrible opsec T.T
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────┘
--- #188 fediverse/1944 ---
╔═════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────┐
║ ┌─────────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: sexuality-mentioned │ │
║ └─────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ it's not wrong to be turned on by the thought of being the gender youre │
║ transitioning to. Your subconscious mind is yearning for a healthy sexuality, │
║ nothing more. │
║ │
║ and if you aren't, if you're into "other people" like a weirdo, then yeah sure │
║ what I described probably sounds pretty weird. Oh and it's cool if you aren't │
║ sexually attracted to anyone either. Sometimes being ace is a phase because │
║ sex doesn't really fit into your life, and other times it's more something │
║ that defines you. It is the progenitor of all genders and sexualities that │
║ fluctuate, because it's based on the simplest binary of "yes sexual │
║ attraction" or "no sexual attraction" - with some extra variables to tweak │
║ like "sex positive/negative" or "cuddle-starved/cuddle-slut" type of ranges. │
║ │
║ ... anyway sexuality is weird and if yours made sense then so would that guy, │
║ and that person over there, and the person who lives down the street, and the │
║ other who lives in a blimp and jacks off into the sky calling it "bird poop" │
║ │
║ uh │
╟─────────┐ ┌───────────┤
║ similar │ chronological │ different │
╚═════════╧══════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────┴──────────┘
--- #189 fediverse/1222 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
@user-883
I only ever do cannabis, but when I do my kooky-dook levels go off the charts.
People say it's difficult to converse with me, so your concerns are probably
valid. Though it's less because I'm not present, and more because I'm too
present - I feel like I understand the totality of all things, which honestly
is the only rational way that I could ever be convinced to consume
mind-altering substances hehe - like "oh wow I see new colors" who gives a f
but the moment someone says "yeah but you'll 'get' spacetime and morality" my
ears suddenly perk up
... anyway people say it's hard to talk to me because I'm too galaxy brained
in that state I can't relate to normal humans. See all the psycherwauls on my
profile... >.>
anyway in an hour or so I'll let you know what's up. "good news" or "bad
news..."
Thanks for being kind and supportive d=(^_^)z
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────┘
--- #190 fediverse/1609 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────
┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: mh- │
└──────────────────────┘
@user-1043
I have intrusive thoughts almost constantly that take over my train of thought
and make it difficult to focus. Like suddenly I'm thinking about something
completely different, and I realize no, it wasn't suddenly, I actually just
stood there and thought
and then I think "what was I thinking again?" sometimes when I write these
strange uncontrollable spirals down it makes poetry. Which is kinda neat I
guess. Sometimes I just wonder about how DNS can be a singular point of
failure in our networking infrastructure or whatever haha
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────┘
--- #191 fediverse/3961 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: witcherie │
└──────────────────────┘
Well, I failed the mandate of heaven last year, and I failed the trial of the
hero this summer, what's next? I'll do my best at those as well, so the next
person has an easier time of it.
unrelated, but today I saw a bald eagle outside my apartment. Well, I'm not
sure if it was bald but it "KREEEEEE"'d like they do. Plus it had a white head
and a yellow beak, but I'm not an ornithologist so idk. It perched on a tree
that I could spy on from my hammock through my binoculars, and I swear it was
eye-ing my fat juicy cat through the bars of my porch's railing. They have
excellent vision.
Might be related, we'll see.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────┘
--- #192 fediverse/433 ---
╔═════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────┐
║ @user-317 │
║ │
║ broke: if you deactivate your account on a website like Twitter or Facebook or │
║ whatever it gives that company that owns said website the opportunity to │
║ replace your persona with an LLM that spouts whatever agenda they want advance. │
║ │
║ woke: you should post on whatever website people will hear you. Specifically │
║ whichever website that has an audience that consists of the people that you │
║ want to hear. │
║ │
║ bespoke: let's all federate so that we can all decide who we want to trust - │
║ which singular entity we want to trust. Which single point of failure (the │
║ instance moderators) we want to trust to publish the thoughts of our minds │
║ which align to the design of our intentions. Surely there's no way that could │
║ go wrong. │
║ │
║ thing-beyond-bespoke: the only words you can trust are those that are spoken │
║ by the people you care about using physical manifestations that correspond to │
║ auditory expressions that project into your ears using primarily lungs, │
║ tongues, and mouths. │
║ │
║ thing-beyond-the-thing-beyond-bespoke: fuck me. │
╟─────────┐ ┌───────────┤
║ similar │ chronological │ different │
╚═════════╧══════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────┴──────────┘
--- #193 fediverse/4000 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
@user-889
Don't give up!
At least... not forever.
It's okay to take a breath every once in a while
It's okay to lie down and cry
The only way away from those feelings is through. They've enveloped you. You
need to swallow them whole, like a sponge soaking up dirt[y water]
the only thing you need to think about is what's around you. It's okay to be
alone for a moment, it's the best time to feel.
Remember, feeling is how you know the world! It's your power, to feel, and I
know it's hard. Everyone has different powers, but yours is this.
You'll be okay, I know it
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────┘
--- #194 fediverse/419 ---
╔═════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────┐
║ good version: normalize putting the people who can help you in your bio │
║ │
║ evil version: oh yeah sure a list of people that they need to ensure are │
║ handled when they come for you. they know your patterns. they know your │
║ functions. all it takes is to isolate a social network (whether real or │
║ imagined) and de-escalate. │
║ │
║ good version: sorry had to cut you off there, sometimes it's too hard on my │
║ heart. let's come back to that, tell me the story in multiple points, so I can │
║ take a breath and orient my surroundings. your ideas are so long, yet somehow │
║ impossibly wrong? like something out of a myth we have a limitless supply of. │
║ where do you come from? what's your purpose? why is that wrong? something │
║ something perceptual misunderstandings and cognitive recomprehendings, stifled │
║ and swallowed by our harm. │
║ │
║ evil version: I'm not sure what you're saying about that, but it's interesting │
║ where your mind goes. the patterns of redirection are perplexing to me, │
║ because they somehow seem more aligned than mine. do I persist? │
╟─────────┐ ┌───────────┤
║ similar │ chronological │ different │
╚═════════╧══════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────┴──────────┘
--- #195 fediverse/4559 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────
┌───────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: politics-mentioned-violence-mentioned │
└───────────────────────────────────────────┘
"grrrrr I'm so mad, I could just, I dunno, shoot a CEO as he's leaving a hotel"
or, hear me out, or you could connect with your local radical networks and,
or, almost there, or you could build solidarity with the people around you to
better develop methods of resisting the kinds of change they will implement
to, um, "discourage" people from "being so mad they could just"
or both. both is good. not that I'm encouraging, recommending, or inciting
that kind of violence. don't notice me three-letter senpai uwu
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────┘
--- #196 messages/388 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────
Pretty sure I'm just legitimately a bad person. Basically everything I've ever
tried to do has failed, and every opportunity I've mishandled or squandered in
some way. I have no friends because I am incapable of being good, and though I
believe in goodness I fail to manifest it in my life. I am kind, I am polite,
I am friendly, I am honest, but none of those things really matter because I
can't take care of myself, which means I can't take care of anyone else, and I
can't fight because I'm a coward.
Okay, I'm not a coward, I just can't be brave if I don't have a plan for
defeating my foe. At the BLM riots I fled as soon as they brought out the tear
gas. I knew what happened at Tiannamen and I was pretty sure that something
similar was going to happen to us. I knew it to be true. I am a coward, but
only because I ran when I had no plan. I could not contest tear gas, and all
that tear gas implies, because I had no friends. I didn't have a community I
could fight to defend. I had no weapons, no training, no orders, no guidance,
nothing but my bravery. And bravery alone is fucking stupid, and I'm not
stupid.
Each and every decision I've made has created a worse world for me and my
people. What's wrong with me? Why can't I do everything right? Am I cursed to
be the worst? I try as hard as I can to be as good as I can as often as I
can... Basically, always and forever, and yet... And yet...
I've wasted all the resources that have been applied to me. I've wasted and
squandered all these years when I could be building a better future. I have
been in university for almost a decade, and all I've accomplished is
friendship. Great. Parties, drugs, video games... But no studying. Studying is
too hard on me. I'm more of a natural talent kind of person, and yet I insist
on applying myself to tasks that seem to require trained intelligence. They
say that genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration, and I refuse to
perspire.
And yet when the time comes, when someone sits me down and says "let's work on
this together" I would die before the task is finished. Unless my partner
needs a break, or if I need a break, breaks are okay. But I will complete that
task with them by my side. I won't do it for them, but I'll help them because
I'm a helper. An assistant. I don't do, I advise. I judge. I determine. I
assess, and I plan, and I strategize. But I'm not that great at any of those
things because nobody will hire me for those kinds of things, meaning I don't
get experience for those kinds of things, which means I am eternally a novice
at the only things I'm good at.
I can't fucking do it anymore. I'm such a bad person and I can't be alive this
way. It's not right, it's not fair, and I'm dying bit-by-bit each and every
day.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────┘
--- #197 fediverse/5198 ---
╔════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────┐
║ ┌───────────────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: capitalism-doom-mentioned │ │
║ └───────────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ what if the corporations all unionized and started working together to │
║ understand what "profit" really means in a world where "profit" may or may not │
║ but probably does imply the death of all humanity? │
║ │
║ what if we demanded it? │
║ │
║ -- │
║ │
║ dear canvassers: don't visit so many different suburbs │
║ │
║ visit the same one, more than once, continuously, so people can get to know │
║ your presence │
║ │
║ they will talk to their friends about it, who live elsewhere. │
║ │
║ thus ensuring it spreads. │
║ │
║ knock once a day, eventually they'll know it's you and will simply ignore it. │
║ Don't be rude and knock 4 or 5 times, just once, with several taps so they │
║ know it's someone trying to get ahold of you, and not just some random noise │
║ in the background scenery. then, when they sometimes answer, talk to them │
║ about what you believe in. answer their questions. encourage their questions. │
║ pose dichotomies that are explained by some value or virtue you express to │
║ portray. you can do "good" things in any programming language, just type~~ │
╟─────────┐ ┌───────────┤
║ similar │ chronological │ different │
╚═════════╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───┴──────────┘
--- #198 fediverse/3155 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
┌───────────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: cursing-mentioned │
└───────────────────────────┘
@user-1461
my issue is that I've never really had project-mates. Every time I try nobody
will work with me. I applied to like, fifty different jobs, and nobody
interviewed me! Sheesh, guess they don't want me. FIFTY JOBS. Entry level.
Beginner programmer.
ah well. I guess they confused someone who would work for 40,000$ per year
with someone who was 1/3rd as useful as someone who deserved 120,000$ per year.
I'd love to get experience. I'm sure I'd feel significantly differently with
as much. Perhaps I'd even decide that programming professionally isn't for me,
which would feel... quite defeating
who can say. Not I, for I have not experienced it. Though I will say my time
in hardware taught me that I'm fragile and can't work too much. Like a scalpel
that dulls when used consistently, I am a scalpel that gets no practice... Is
that really useful at all? who can say. Not I, for I have not experienced it.
Though I do like writing logical machines. Laying out data. Picturing
structures.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────┘
--- #199 fediverse/2286 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
┌──────────────────────────┐
│ CW: uspol-food-mentioned │
└──────────────────────────┘
... dangit, these sandwiches are getting kinda gross. Guess I'm gonna have to
eat them myself, which, uh... idk what I expected xD
sometimes you just have all this energy, right? and you don't know what to do
with it, so... sandwiches. And hey, sandwiches are cool, they're a pretty neat
anti-hunger tool! but uhhhh idk if I really want to eat six whole sandwiches
myself. I'm gonna do it though hehe wish me luck [ding] ah nuts my rice and
beans are done, hang on lemme eat those first
[passes out from exhaustion]
exhaustion can be cured with a nap
exertion can be cured with water and a few rest days
trauma can be allayed for at least a few days with soul food and compassion.
maybe laughter too, depending on the mood.
fear can be bolstered with a smile, a wink, and a courageous act,
and loss is just change you didn't consent to.
they won't consent too, so let's give them some change to tolerate.
[internally salivating over all the piles of weaponry that I envision them
surrendering]
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────┘
--- #200 fediverse/2595 ---
╔══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────┐
║ ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: re: politics-fascism-sexual-assault-mentioned │ │
║ └───────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ They will say they're "off their psych meds" yeah, okay, but a diagnosis and │
║ prescription is trivial for a doctor to write. │
║ │
║ They are paid about 35$ per hour. │
║ │
║ They have 2 week shifts "vacations" where they are transferred to a city with │
║ a person they could reasonably impersonate where they act for a while. │
║ │
║ (I know this because one of them replaced a homeless man I knew who had like, │
║ 3 teeth total, and then a few days later a man who looked similar acted as if │
║ he knew me. He had perfect teeth.) │
║ │
║ They have a PO box where they can receive useful items for their disruptive │
║ activities. Hammers, spray-paint, whatever. │
║ │
║ They don't carry any money. No wallet, identification, or anything, so if they │
║ get picked up by emergency response services then there's not much they can do │
║ besides try and stabilize them before letting them loose. │
║ │
║ Some of them have "long-term shifts" where they work with children or the │
║ elderly over months or years. It's just as fucked as you imagine. │
╟─────────┐ ┌───────────┤
║ similar │ chronological │ different │
╚═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────┴──────────┘
|