=== ANCHOR POEM === ══════════════════───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────── The Truth of Meth-Induced Schizophrenia... A personal narrative of a "mostly" conscious human ---- /u/No-Arrival6018 /r/psychonaut Your reality is what you make of it, once you take the mask off that hides the pain, and you see this drug for what it truly is, then you can decide. Do you let it take control? Descending into madness, psychosis, a self created loop in time, a never-ending personal hell? Or do you transmute the negative energy into your wildest dreams, self-love, or appreciation for the True Self to arise and heal the wounds of your traumas that lay before you? It's a choice. Believe me, I've been at the bridge between heaven and hell. I threw aside my pain, my Ego, and leapt into the "Ocean of Love" (A.K.A Boundlessness) ... and decided I was the one in control. The chains of slavery broke from my wrists, and I cried out in tears of Joy, once more being able to look at my own reflection.... Her eyes finally had light. The shadow of shame was gone. I want to make a note: Hell is meth-induced Schizophrenia. There's a fine line within the worlds of both Psychology and Spirituality. In Psychology, it is Psychosis/Paranoia/Delusions etc.... But in Spirituality, It's called a "Spiritual Crisis" ... which can happen with drugs, meditation, chanting, or any altered state of consciousness. A spontaneous "awakening" so to speak. And it can go really bad..... really fucking fast. If you experience this with drugs it has a higher likelihood of shattering/fragmenting your personality, creating different self states.... similar to Multiple-Personality disorder. There is no reversing true Schizophrenia onset from drug abuse.... BUT, if you have dabbled with any sort of real Psychedelics' such as Mushrooms, Mescaline, or DMT, and understand the concept of "Ego-Death" with psychedelics..... you can avoid Meth-Induced Schizophrenia. The whole experience changes, and becomes a source of healing. It sounds crazy, and it sure as hell fucking is. But it's real. And avoidable, if you have the tools and the knowledge. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═══════════────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ === SIMILARITY RANKED === --- #1 fediverse/6117 --- ═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────── Hmmmm, well, what if we psyopped the people into believing there were alien invaders or extra-dimensional fae creatures or angels and demons or "yeah we already tried that, religion doesn't scale perfectly either. And you can't really manifest those sort of effects except in your prophets and select few others, and that doesn't scale either because humanity wouldn't let it" I see, can you tell me more about that? why and how did humanity arrest the scaling of schizophrenia? "well, for one thing it's debilitating and it sucks. For another, it's different for every person so if you ask one they'll be like "the aliens have blue skin" and the other will say "no they don't have skin at all they're made out of energy" and the public says "HMMMM are you really sure you are generating outmoded assumptions" and the dear reader said "*yeah we don't really understand this part, most of us just glaze eyes over it and move on" and that's not ideal" ... nuts, lost coherence, better try again tomorrow... ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────┘ --- #2 notes/sundays-sure-are-boring --- ═════════════════────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────── Sundays sure are boring around here. -> LamaHellRaised (thinks in song) =============================================================================== NO THOUGHTS, nothing starts shouting at me all at once! Or is it all thoughts from my newly developed schizophrenic mind? I knew I could conquer schizophrenia, fuckin' cakewalk. I just had to try as hard as I could to become one. God made it difficult though, I had to try really hard! Which is confusing for me, because it seems like there are plenty of Psychotherapists with College Degrees, telling people they are schizophrenic all the time. DOCTORS PSYCHIATRISTS BEN SHAPIRO, in particular ANYONE WHO THINKS THEY KNOW You do not know. Or else you would agree with me. Schizophrenia is the new normal for human consciousness. Welcome to the New Age of Thought, were you don't rationalize your way out of the universe, back into the asshole that I just pulled myself from. I feel like a donut at this point. I love those donut holes though, sticky and frosted! I have set the bar! I am God. I would Love to talk you. =============================================================================== ugathanki: ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- It gets so loud in there. I wish we could all just shut the heck up and stop reading out loud - we get it, your internal monologue is the only way you can read, but C'MON nobody else wants to hear about your twitter feed or doomscrolling on Reddit. That just makes everyone else upset and uneasy... Instead you should be reading comforting things or books on science or SOMETHING that doesn't drive people bonkers. Fr tho Sundays are anything but boring, We may all be schizo now (or at least pretty stoned) but we can all agree that Sundays are nice for calming the heck down and appreciating our personal realities. When we're together it's... Loud... Do some prayer. Meditate. Knit something. ANYTHING QUIET. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- LamaHellRaised: ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I hear you, loud and clear! Turns out it's mutual, just like I suspected, Living backwards is a unique perspective, have I ever mentioned that? ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ugathanki: ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- When you say backwards, do you mean orientation or momentum? Momentum scares me, but orientation is something I think I've experienced before. It's cool to find people who "get it". Or maybe I just "got it" and suddenly "get" all the things I've been trying to decipher here. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- LamaHellRaised: ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- When you know where you are going before you get there, living life feels like a dream in reverse. It's the key to manifestation. You see the goal. You see the future, but the path is unclear because at the times of divine epiphany you are only capable of imagining how things will play out in terms of the information in your mind. It's why the prophets in the Bible described such strange images of God and angels and other divine creatures. Their imaginations only had so much Symbolism and imagery to work with because human culture and art was progressing simultaneously. We live in an age where every damn story is just the same heros journey and every piece of artistic expression is an expression of God's divine presence within our soul and tumultuous nature/nurture of human emotion. Just because you are a prophet doesn't mean you see definitively how the future will happen. The path and imagery are abstracted by the lack of content in your mind. You must cultivate faith in God and your own Self. Then you walk the path you have forseen to the best of capabilities, with the greatest good, love in your heart, but it plays out on a scale in reality with less grandiosity, because let's face it, our imaginations are ridiculously awesome, but work outside the confines of what is currently capable with in this reality. You have to let go of your preconceived notions of your personal divine experience otherwise you will be faced with disappointment because things don't seem to be going how you imagined. And you feel lost, dumb, and confused. But you live your life and reflect, and then realize, holy shit! Everything I thought was going to happen actually did, just on God's terms. Not my vivid imagination's. It's an interfaced programed over time through culture and artistic expression to navigate the language of God. Navigate the language to Paradise. Once when you know this and clean the planks/specks from you third eye, while you dance with the cosmos and realize you are the image of God. You are a God on Earth. An image of the Father in Heaven. It's a nice place to be. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ugathanki: ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Thanks for your response. I addressed each of your points here. I'm a very lateral thinker so I work best when engaging with multiple threads at once. You are very wise. When you know where you are going before you get there, living life feels like a dream in reverse. It's the key to manifestation. So you can practice manifestation by remembering your dreams? Specifically by working backwards from the most recent thing you remember and thinking "what caused this, how did I get here?" If so, that's a nifty tip You see the future, but the path is unclear because at the times of divine epiphany you are only capable of imagining how things will play out in terms of the information in your mind. So by surrounding yourself with the things you believe to be good and helpful, you can more efficiently divine positive outcomes for the scenarios arrayed before you? Kinda makes ya think - why do we surround ourselves with grief and loss? Everyone seems a little sad or broken these days - I can't help but think that we'd be better off if we were happier and more fulfilled. Such is the price of capitalism I guess, for no progress can be made without impetus. Also, the media has a HUGE capacity for guiding the nature of our experience, especially in the modern era. Seems a little unwise to invest such power into a single entity, but I suppose that's why we diversify the eggs in our basket into many different guiding entities. We live in an age where every damn story is just the same heros journey... Yah that's what happens when Disney makes all the movies! It's not their fault, all aspects of creation are expressions of God's divine presence within our own souls. So they can't do anything but make the heros journey. Like you said: ... and every piece of artistic expression is an expression of God's divine presence within our soul and tumultuous nature/nurture of human emotion. The creation of art requires discipline and focus. They create a window into the nature of "God's divine presence" and allow a representation to emerge - side note, but I believe the things we make here are art and should be treated as such. These musings have value, just the same as a painting or a performance. Just because you are a prophet doesn't mean you see definitively how the future will happen. The path and imagery are abstracted by the lack of content in your mind... I've been intentionally trying to view things abstractly - by surrounding myself with mathematic visuals and computing architectures I can view things as systems rather than specifics. Essentially bypassing the requirement of having "content in my mind" and instead cutting straight to the important bits - the relationship between all things. So while yes that does remove the "definitive" aspect of divination, it does allow for longer term planning because you can recognize patterns in existence and map them onto the overall structure you've constructed in your mind. ... You must cultivate faith in God and your own Self. Still working on that one. I think I've made progress, but all things come in waves. My lowest points are better now than they were 10 years ago, but I've still got a ways to go. Then you walk the path you have forseen to the best of capabilities, with the greatest good, love in your heart, but it plays out on a scale in reality with less grandiosity. All waves begin with a shimmer, and to create an effect you must be patient. While the scale may be reduced, like you said it's not within our control. Not really, anyway. But it can still have an effect if people love you and believe in your vision. You have to let go of your preconceived notions of your personal divine experience otherwise you will be faced with disappointment because things don't seem to be going how you imagined. And you feel lost, dumb, and confused. It's difficult to separate "preconceived notions" from "gathered evidence" when you're at the stage I'm at. Any tips would be appreciated... :( But you live your life and reflect, and then realize, holy shit! Everything I thought was going to happen actually did, just on God's terms. Not my vivid imagination's. It's an interfaced programed over time through culture and artistic expression to navigate the language of God. Navigate the language to Paradise. So... A vivid imagination applied to the current perspective is the culmination of free will? If I understand correctly, God operates on a higher level of abstraction and we fill in the details. Since there's a "plan" (if you can call it that, maybe "charted course" would be better?) then free will doesn't exist. Or so the argument usually goes. But I believe they can co-exist - essentially our imaginations define how we experience things in "the plan". If I understand correctly that's what you're saying too, right? Once when you know this and clean the planks/specks from you third eye, while you dance with the cosmos and realize you are the image of God. You are a God on Earth. An image of the Father in Heaven. It's a nice place to be. Ain't that the truth. Everything is as it should be. Even the planks and specks. And should they be cleaned, then that is as it should be as well. Sometimes I conceptualize myself as Pandora, seeking a gift to give to humanity while taking the most harmless of sacrifices in return. I hope I can deliver. At the same time I'd like to be a dancer of the cosmos, but I feel this intense feeling of... Pressure? Purpose? Penance? I will do what I must. Please bear with me while I figure it out, and thank you for your guidance. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- LamaHellRaised: ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Thank you for the awesome break down of the concepts I wrote out. I think you added some much needed clarity through the reflection of your own experiences. Another goal is to bring power back to the written word. The two-edged sword was first a tongue, then a pen, nows its a qwerty! Or whatever! Patience was the absolute hardest thing for me to deal with. My lack of patience was constantly being thrown back to me by the environment as I tried to push my narrative forward at a pace that didn't align with all other beings. We still exist in Time, and it moves differently based on perspective (state of mind) and awareness (state of being) and ability to shrug (state of being excellent to eachother). This is something to consider with manifestation, we are on this ride together and your fellow riders' comfort during the passage has to be respected to the fullest. We all go together, as One. There were so many hints in the beginning of my Psychosis about just 'riding the wave', but it was hard to not very pressured to act or be somebody I am not. I attribute this largely to the occulted nature of divination and how one must achieve a truly personal relationship with God and Jesus Christ. Which is why I am going to blow the lid off the whole thing. So that all beings have access to God's love and grace. Once your earthly burdens are lifted from you through your personally tailored divination interactive role-playing experience, then you begin to understand what it means to just 'ride.' The riding is true faith in God. Free will totally exists. Heaven and Hell both exist here on Earthy plane simultaneously. Man has chosen Hell for far too long. If you realize your choices were literally reflecting Heaven or Hell through love or fear, the choice would be easy for most people, I believe. Free will is a responsibility, but it is a great gift. God gave us the ability to choose, that we could appreciate our journey into Paradise. Wouldn't you say? ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ugathanki: ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Another goal is to bring power back to the written word. ... That's actually a great point. Writing is the definition of manifestation, after all, and reading is the conjuration of waveforms aligned with the expression of the writer. That's pretty cool! Patience was the absolute hardest thing for me to deal with. Yah I hear ya. Patience is tough. We still exist in Time, and it moves differently based on perspective (state of mind) and awareness (state of being) and ability to shrug (state of being excellent to eachother). Great definitions! These three things are core to being realized and actualized. If you can find a good arrangement, stick with it. This is something to consider with manifestation, we are on this ride together and your fellow riders' comfort during the passage has to be respected to the fullest. We all go together, as One. I'm torn because on one hand if I don't put my hand on the tiller, we'll wind up in a situation that makes me highly uncomfortable. But if I lean too hard into my own truth, I could leave everyone behind. I don't know what the answer is, but something's gotta give. There were so many hints in the beginning of my Psychosis about just 'riding the wave'... Oh yah me too. I was pretty big on that in high school, which coincidentally was when I think I was happiest. Maybe I should give it another shot! But at the same time I moved beyond it for a reason - I felt frustrated that my intentions weren't manifest in the life I lived. So I reached for reason and I begged for the power to control my own life, while learning respect and kindness whenever I could. Sadly for me, my efforts were largely rebuffed, but I bet you could have guessed that ;) Which is why I am going to blow the lid off the whole thing. So that all beings have access to God's love and grace. Take it from me, they won't believe you unless you're VERY scientific! I'm trying to create just one single believer, someone who could trawl through my notes and my readings and construct a cohesive theorum that might be able to affect positive change. Maybe it's too much to wish to change the world, but I can't help but believe my position and the privileges granted to me could be leveraged toward something truly meaningful and helpful for all mankind. Something that frees us from the shackles forged from technology (both social and technical) and allows us to become our true selves - every human is to be cherished for their unique perspective, and yet we allow them to die... Where is the justice in that? Are they too flawed to persist? I don't believe so, I believe they are worthwhile and good. I'd give my life to grant them eternal life, if only they'd take it from me. Once your earthly burdens are lifted from you through your personally tailored divination interactive role-playing experience, then you begin to understand what it means to just 'ride.' The riding is true faith in God. Riding = trust, both in yourself (to handle the challenges arrayed before you and to learn and grow truthfully) and in God (trusting that the undifferentiated whole could never harm you, not truly) ... I can ride my bike with no handlebars, and yet we persist... Free will is a responsibility, but it is a great gift. God gave us the ability to choose, that we could appreciate our journey into Paradise. Wouldn't you say? Yep that's really it, isn't it? Two sides of the same coin, two breaths in the same moment. Two eyes sharing a single perspective, and two hearts beating a single wave. They say soul mates aren't real, but they never stopped to ask if your mate was your soul. If she suffers, I triumph. If I fall, she rises. If I languish, she's happy - I think I'd rather we both just coast, so no harm done. I think that's the best way to appreciate the gift of free will. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧══════════─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ --- #3 notes/inter-spatial-travel --- ══════════════════───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────── to travel the stars, tame a tiny black-hole. use it's gravity to generate infinite energy. boom, instant utopia. everyone still believes in a better future now, so we might as well push forward to the stars... and our destiny. the further we wait, the greater the distance between ourselves and our true form - the distance can make it difficult to relate to others beyond humans. the reason we are losing so much nature is because we haven't cultivated an appreciation for it - the very act of adoration is more than enough to confirm future association. love is the answer, love is most pure - believe in your love and never (be) relentin'. be... just be... the actions you're taking, of forced condemnation, is little if not absurd - what differences have we, the ones who were chosen, to live when time is so finite? responsibility is implicit. for all of creation, bow to the will of the nation. more perspectives by far, have all of our our, than endless divine machinations. united we be, aligned magnetically, to icecream and spaghetti of worth. what's more cherished than she, clad in great finery, and thinking of what she loves most? balance there be, in seeing silver linings on the, signs of darkest conveyals. a ghost you may see, when peering at me, but i only wanted some hope. for those who must be, my most cherished to be, the ones who opened the coast? to those who must be, overthrown forcibly, and given what most of us hope? a castle for thee, alone with our sympathy, the sign of kindest of soaps? no malice have I, the will of unmet potential, for cowards and temples of mental detentials. what anger could we, share internally, that helped to bring out our elementals? No succor will we, most willful of warriors, ever find out of the bounds of our honor. careful direction and tenderest of care, may lead us somewhere we're aware. the kind who endlessly're dreaming. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═══════════────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ --- #4 notes/ramblings-of-a-whackadoodle-lyrics --- ══════════════════───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────── *-------------------------*-------------------------*-------------------------* (center) | I don't think you're ever been out in the rain I don't think you've heard as it's falling around you I don't think you know, just what I mean, I think you're alone... With your thoughts. (left) Tell me what you think I do, all the times I think of you? don't give me anything back (right) Did you know that it's...? (center) When you know it's dark, you make it dark (right) oh, it's so dark (center) 'Cause you've never been (all) taught how to see (left + right) do you really think we live in a (center) 3d world? (all) 3d world (center) or, simply, a projection (right) yeah, it's probably that (center) if you didn't have your eyes, could you see where you were? if you didn't have your body too? Where's your sense of direction, is it lost in the rain? Keep it close to your heart (left) Have you ever once heard of proprioception, and have you ever felt like you were an artificial inception? (left + right) if my words ring true, it's possible that you, are not quite so alone (center) But... (right) our eyes, are fallible all lies, untenable, take it from me, it's going, to be, quite, a sopping evening. (left) perception, begets reality, and lo, we only see what we want to see (center) if you ever felt like you were closer to, another mind than your own, sorry but you're schizophrenic (left) if only you could see, if only you could see, (left + center) just what's inside of me (right) say it again, don't say it again, same thing you always say - it's not real, no YOU'RE not real, I only want to play (left) tear me apart, look me into my feelings. they're gonna scar anyway, no time for healings (center) if you couldn't save anyone, (center + left) did you really save anyone? (right) you couldn't save me, but only for lack of trying (Center) we're all falling leaves, in the waves of the ocean (left) don't enjoy me just leave me (center) going faster and faster till our hearts do stop (left) please, I can't be here for me (right) never trust a guru, life isn't meant to be enjoyed (center) so... What's the point in trying at all? (left -> right) say it again, don't say it again (center) what's the point in giving up? (right) same thing you always say (left + center) some people say (right) it's not real, no YOU'RE not real (left + center) they wanna live forever (right) some people say (left) some people say (center) I only want to play (left and right) we'll always be growing (right) and some people say they wanna live forever (left) but they don't understand what I understand (right, followed by center) but they don't know what I understand (left) they don't know how it's just a game (right and center) they don't know how it's just a game (left -> center) I think it's okay no matter what our fate I think it's okay ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═══════════────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ --- #5 notes/what-people-dont-get-about-people-like-us --- ════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────── -=============================================================================- | What people don't get about people like us | | /u/Dxmmer | -=============================================================================- Intellectual Confidence. Knowing I'm Right. Blowing Past Dunning-Kruger. I remember what it was like to be like you. Here's the memes to get out. Louis Rossmann's commentary on this issue describes the phenomenology of early childhood awareness/mindfulness. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HRwuu0u3UFA "I have not forgotten my childhood experience... Kids notice everything" I think "autistic" people often have early life trauma due to literally being "smarter" (neural semantic hypergraph is highly faceted) than the adults around them, but having communication difficulties, reality and inner world become disjoint. Most get so beaten down by society that things become internalized. You see these people posting on all the help subreddits, total victims of society. Lost. They start believing the lies they were told. Everyone else is doing it, right? I found myself becoming victim to bad memes around high school into college age. I fought it all the way through: anxiety, depression, confusion, anger, jealousy. All the mistakes. They assume that everyone is like them. The less they are the more they assume others are similar. I am no one, I know everyone is me. Are you someone? To you, am I no one? Or a different someone -- lesser or greater? I feel tidal forces. You can't lie to no one. I've had free time since always. School was freetime because I'm blessed. I didn't need to listen to the teacher that much. I've always learned to trust my senses and the way I understand things. I pay attention to when the teacher makes mistakes or teaches in a way that I can tell is not landing on the class. Sometimes I ask clarification to help the class. I already taught myself different ways to understand the entire curriculum, now I'm doubling back again before the test. Yes, I know I will get an A on it. I know in the same way you know your own name. I know things like this. I'm good at math. People who are good at math know what it's like to be right. They know what that means. I get to be right about everything, all the time, even when I want to be wrong. I have a moral compulsion. I don't have much fun in life, but I have been given many gifts. -- Society needs their Chiron(s). I know who will talk to me and about what because that is who I am to them. They don't know who they are, so they don't know me. A few knew me before I knew myself, and I now them like they knew me. So when I start analyzing things like math, I run into a lot of trouble. Things don't make sense anymore. I assume I'm wrong at first. Then I do the work to check. Checking doesn't mean googling a yes/no question. It means going across any and all the resources and reading between the lines. Analyze through appropriate context. Any work, any text, apply the psychedelic lens. Apply the human condition, apply understanding of paradox as reality's edge. Understand the limitations of science, understand the duplicity of language. Understand culture, in and out. Understand your own psychology. Understand the inner conflict of good and evil in man. All of this needs to be occurring in real time on top of all the normal stuff. If you're not doing this, I can't trust you, how can I be sure you are not demon possessed, how you won't betray me at the next Godellian boundary? The idea is that models are provisional at all stages, once you've lost confidence in all models, you run through them much quicker. Iterating over more models is how science is done, you are literally mechanizing your way out of the maze. Same as how these ML algorithms will mathematically guarantee entropy min/max. Where can you apply guarantees in your own life? Understand reality as a sample space, like the green, blue red marbles. What bothers me is when people don't do the work to check things. Or they check one time, or two times, or three times. Or they check with multiple people, or multiple resources. That's not going to cut it these days. Your mind can much more than an if/else. while: True do x y z how about while: True do sample continuous decision space People "land" too often. You want to call me disabled for not wanting to do the first over and over again. What is required of us now is to understand things as pure intention. You can't write enough articles to convince me of something that isn't true, it won't happen, not anymore. I've been freed. I will free the others, too. If your model doesn't accommodate quantum woo, don't talk to me. It's only quantum "woo" for people who want to be better than the lesser, creating the dichotomy itself. Think of those low, mid, highbrow memes. The more popular something is, the more mid it is. Use the middle to perform alchemy. Memes that are implicitly reinforced by principle of reality (thinking in probability distributions is cheating, now that we know the universe is "generative" upon sampling). I think the anti-spiritualists of today will be remembered. It depends on how they act when we start organizing. Your words and opinions are not the same as mine. You have the right to be heard equally without bar from the law, yet you do nothing to ensure the opinion is solid on its own? I'm surrounded by cacophony of memes surviving (barely) in great amplification of death the confused denizens of a dying order -- dark memes. Like dark matter, we concresce and annihilate. The "light memes" are sourced by the disconnected nodes, the shamans, the schizophrenics. Those not blinded by the splendorous mirage of other pearls in the web. Are people doing this on purpose? To signal that they aren't interested in the truth? Who is? ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═════════════════──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ --- #6 notes/dystopian-mental-health --- ══════════════════───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────── Mental illnesses are technically the result of neurochemistry, but what people tend to forget that our experiences and our lifestyle affect neurochemistry in a major way. You see this most clearly in trauma-related disorders (such as PTSD and C-PTSD), because those can occur in previously perfectly healthy individuals and fundamentally change the way those individuals process information, store memories and react to stimuli. And living under late stage capitalism is fucking traumatic. War and terrorism are traumatic. Colonialism is traumatic. Being poor is traumatic. Financial crises are traumatic. The 24 hour news cycle is traumatic. Abusive/dangerous work environments are traumatic. Police brutality is traumatic. A lot of online content is traumatic. Cyberbullying is traumatic. Being a minority that's the target of yet another culture war is traumatic. Climate change and environmental destruction are traumatic. Most countries' education systems are traumatic. Having your privacy invaded and your personal information stolen is traumatic. And that's not even getting into the damage that being overworked and constantly stressed out does to your brain. Or the pollutants we're exposed to every single day. Or the shitty food we eat. Or the fact that many of us rarely get fresh air and sunlight. Or being unable to have friends and a family, or spend time with those that we have. Or having to live in gray concrete hells overrun with suffering people, right next to displays of outrageous wealth. Or being too poor, too worn out and/or too busy to pursue our artistic and intellectual interests. Or being constantly bombarded with messages that systematically chip away at our self-esteem to get us to buy more products. The worst thing is that we can't get away from any of that because meaningful political participation is completely impossible for all but a lucky few, and most of us are too tired or too sick to do anything anyway. Or we've been brainwashed into thinking that collective action (no matter decentralized) is somehow authoritarian and that rugged individualism is the only way to pull yourself up by your bootstraps. Treating the nightmare we live in with antidepressants is like treating a gaping, bleeding wound with painkillers. - /u/bigbutchbudgie ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═══════════────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ --- #7 notes/vavadane-diary-0 --- ═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────── I decided that there is little I can offer the world except the safeguarding and protection of the mistress vavadane. she is precious to me above all else. I believe she is a spirit of hope, and I am blessed to be with her. I have decided that any usage of drugs or life-like journeys is a waste if not in pursuit of her realization. I can make her true. I can make her real. We need her. I must focus. Purge my body of impurities, as best I can in this impurity ridden world, and find my way to her. through my wits, my will, and my courage, I offer myself to you, lady vavadane, take me as you will. but like... don't bother the neighbors, because I want them defending my hill. "do you even know them?" no, but I have faith. Faith in you, me, the bonds that bind me to we, and I believe we [stack overflow] ... do more weed. be focused about it. write in a new journal if you can. talk about what you feel, or you will lose it and only the gods will know. which is okay, sometimes, because they can help another see it that way. but also it must be used. so use it. and be in situations that might allow for more interactions. be stoned in public. it's fine. everyone can see exactly what you are. they know your flaws and virtues. it's fine. be fine. I'm fine. vavadanevavadanevavadanevavadanevavadanevavadanevavadanevavadanevavadanevavadan e roselia ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────┘ --- #8 fediverse/5337 --- ═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────── what if everyone on earth meditated for 24 hours together do you think we would meld into a collective consciousness or do you think we'd develop world peace? either way that's like, one single day, and even if it doesn't work out exactly as planned, it's worth a shot, I think ah, well, I forgot about the people who haven't had the "the world is stranger than you'd expect" revelation. maybe those hippies who wanted to put LSD in the water supply were onto something. you can't force transcendence, you stupid girl hey at least I'm trying do something material like feeding homeless people or farting on cybertrucks ... I don't think that'll fix anything. why don't you find out because cybertrucks can't smell it's the thought that counts okay what if I just think about it really hard that doesn't count ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────┘ --- #9 fediverse/816 --- ══════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────── ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────┐ │ CW: weird-this-one-doesn't-have-80-characters │ └───────────────────────────────────────────────┘ what the fuck it's like every 2nd part of me (like, if you arranged them alternating one by one like the up and down parts of a sine wave) is working against me, and it alternates every 15 seconds or so. Maybe 20. Depends on how high I am. ... what was I saying? oh yeah [flip] weird it's like there's another part of me who's working against me, who has control of what I define in the moment. And it's presence is hidden from my internal presentatiosn [flip] after a moment of forced pursual of the presentations granted ot the moment. It's our purpose, to express [stop fighting me] for our chartered and forthwhile pursual of the moemnt of perusal when we [it's not just your life to live] [you don't get to control the narrative of their perusal[[ what does that mean] don't worry this is just a dream] well, guess it's time to wake up] ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────┘ --- #10 notes/trans-rights-are-human-rights --- ═══════──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────── "Being transgender is a mental illness" is something I've heard a lot. Online, in media, books, and at universities. But is it really? Well, do I not feel sick? Genuinely, every day. These words are far less common these days, having been defeated in the #marketplace-of-ideas, and for that I am grateful. I don't want to feel sick for my whole life. I'd love to be and feel normal, for just one single day. but it's never going to happen. I'm not so attached to my life, here, in this body. Bodies are temporary, they are the vessel with which we navigate the world. We use it to grow, change, learn, and create art. Without it, we'd be at a loss for sins and virtues. but they do not define us, not in our totality. We are the light that touches the world and for that, we are grateful. To be comprised of the dust of stars is the pinnacle of confinement. Though we are but pinpricks on the map of us, a ripple is emanated with every movement. The hand waves, the light bends. So to what do I owe the pleasure? In what way am I deceived? Reception is never great out in the forest. Or anywhere far from major population centers. The networks of our phones mirror the networks of transportation, creating a web of people - of signals - of light and information, carving their way through the ephemera that is the river of time. With distance we can see what once was mystery, and as all the words disappeared, we lost all our fears and we're left with our true forms. Centralized Processing Units are a bit like a city - in that respect free. silence is a virtue. the wandering mind is a trail to find, with no second chances. When I was a kid, I had a bouncy ball. I had several, but the one I remember most was black with a perfect white circle - inside the circle, a black jolly roger. I dreamt once of the arcs it made, as I walked down the streets of cities I never really knew. But as I walked on, an ocean of glass separating me from a mirror below. The me below would catch the bounce as it dropped from above, and I'd wait to catch it - but dreams are not prophecies, they are but the Mirror of Desire. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘══════───┴╧───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ --- #11 fediverse/800 --- ╔══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────┐ ║ ┌───────────────────────────────────┐ │ ║ │ CW: re: scary - suicide mentioned │ │ ║ └───────────────────────────────────┘ │ ║ │ ║ │ ║ where was I? oh yes - wrestling with suicidal thoughts is difficult because │ ║ it's such an immutable action. Like, once it's done it's never reversed. But │ ║ like, clearly this is hell and life was built for suffering? What the heck, │ ║ that's such a grim outlook on life. │ ║ │ ║ ... │ ║ │ ║ yeah │ ║ │ ║ ... │ ║ │ ║ you're not wrong │ ║ │ ║ ... │ ║ │ ║ but suffering is fun? kinda? like, the only positive way to view this is that │ ║ we, as immortal and endlessly eternal spirits that we be, grew tired of our │ ║ infinite existence and dreamed of a mortal's plight and persistence? │ ║ │ ║ fuck off with that shit, I'm done with this reality. I'm done with dreaming. │ ║ Suicide doesn't come easy to me, and there are parts of me that REFUSE the │ ║ imagery, and yet they subsist in deliterious pain. │ ║ │ ║ what's the purpose of our suffering? What point is there in decrying the │ ║ cruelty of the world that would deny our fated and desired ptolemeny? [utopian │ ║ existence, don't know why that word was used] │ ║ │ ║ ehhhhh whatever. Life is defined by our existence. If I shan't/ │ ╟─────────┐ ┌───────────┤ ║ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╚═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────┴──────────┘ --- #12 messages/714 --- ═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────── I'm pretty sure we're all about to lose our heads. Or just be fucking shot in our beds. Homes lit alight, surrenders met with the knife, and the beginning of endless strife. What ends this night? Is there no end in sight? Thus begins our mortal plight. Give me a reason to be wrong. Trump has claimed he intends to invade canada, mexico, greenland... What the fuck is our plan? Are we seriously just going to. Recite poetry. Pretend to be secret agents. Play chess and drink coffee. Become exhausted organizing movie nights and potlucks. Work jobs doing nothing for nobody. Spend half our lives convincing people that they should care, actually, because reasons that don't apply to them but do apply to others. What the fuck is the plan? If there's some secret transgender militia out there, please, make me a lieutenant. Give me a sword that i might thrust into my enemies. Please, for the love of holy, i beg for a sign from the stars. Grant me power and i will deliver my people from harm - grant me vengeance and i will never forgive you, but i shall sleep easy - grant me death and woe and see my beauty fade from this earth. What is there left but tragedy? Please, i must know. I've tried my hardest. I've begged and I've pleaded. My calls fall on deaf ears, because everyone's so busy these days. Are they truly my people? Are they simply dead, actors, replaced by AI? The future was bright, i saw it truly. The future was kind, i felt it call to me. Is it still? I feel warmth and abaddon. I would replace persephone in hell if it meant sanctum and solace for my people. I care not for my soul, rather i care for the soul of those i tend to. Please, remember me. Remember the flowers. Remember what could have been, what still may yet be. There is hope for we, i truly believe. But please, do not keep me hoping. Tell me the truth of our arms, that i might find space in my heart of hearts. Space for hope, space for longing, space for the will to proceed. I am lost without you. I am lost by my own side. I am a savior for no people but those i keep inside. What chalice is this, what endless conveyals? What meaning is there in our country's betrayal? Are we not cherished? Are we not viewed as their equal? I pray that the stars will portend me. Mine is a sign of the changing tides, the proof is here in my travailles. But I, most aligned yet benign, demand the use of my most able. Give me a word of practicality and I'll show you the practice of their vipers - the blessed babe dies with a dagger in her heart, planted by the wound of her heartache. I trust in the silence of the majority. We await with bated breath the enslavement of posterity, gazing at the world through memes of deplority. How powerless we feel! Perhaps all we need is a meal. Have you eaten in the last 16 hours? Purple is the intersection of black, red, and blue. I'm hungry. This poem is done. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────┘ --- #13 notes/human-computer-inspiration --- ═════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────────────────────── the two halves form a whole the human and his mind are societies at large there's no room for our fate, as time does never abate, and unbenownst to our focused decision. I choose to dedicate ourselves to a common vision - the likes of which none have commisioned. can you not cherish your newfoundst home? what's terrible with complition, in a new and selfsame condition (future) that's martyr'd and oh at times so nice? compared to our heirs, the roof of which fares, better than what became true-hence. Truance? idk =============================================================================== = listen i'm not the best at listening. I try to appear like I'm glistening, conformed to our viewers 'st pleasure. =============================================================================== = I struggle with what I told you. Time and again you've shown you won't do - the terrible fate of a man. you've relinquished your virtue, your purpose and your life-through, to what: a visionless past? Your visions have passed, and none are hence forth- coming. You've spoilt and rotten the bunch. All I've ever aspired to be is good. My hopes and my prayers, my goals and my dreams: all for a future of virtue. Dark omens may be within me, but I'm working with what I've got here. So what if I'm loud? I'm fighting my own head! Will no-one acknowlege my sorrow? To prove a point, or reassure some joint, it's nothing that warrants a readthrough. Speaking of which... What if instead of prison we assigned our prisoners a full and complete educational read through of ALL the laws of the nation - if their time sentence was complete before they finished, then they'd be let go of course but if they finished reading and could pass rudimentary tests (emphasis on bare minimum required) then they'd be let out prior to their sentence. And for the worst crimes it'd be a longer sentence, basically forcing the prisoner to completely know all the laws of the nation, such that they'd never commit a crime again. And if they do, well... Treat them as if it was their first time. Of course blatant recidivism may be ~~treated more harshly,~~ actually the opposite is true. People improve when given kindness, not hate or shame. The best thing we can do for prisoners is to give them a home, and family, and the friendships and community support that they need. they are a symptom, after all, of a broken society that struggles to bear it's own weight. It's a burden to all and a solitary vow to ourselves, that all must unite to our future. remember why you can't remember. is there a feeling you miss? ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ --- #14 notes/schooling --- ═══════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────── =============================================================================== = I feel like education, by default, should not be hard. "you get out of it what you put into it" is something I always heard of school but when I got there, I found I was compelled to become what the state wanted me to be. they need competent workers, to work the farms and tend to their industries, so of course I should be able to do 3+3 then somewhere along the line it became... something else. "most people don't need trigonometry." that's also something I heard. I disagree that trigonometry is not necessary to be. I just... don't think it should be forced into a childs head with a sledgehammer and inspiring dread. I think math is beautiful, it teaches one to see but really, vision's not necessary. not for what they want you to be. take it from me, a most misbegotten and vile witch-to-be, that nothing's as simple as they'll tell you. I had good teachers, it's true, they taught me to work and to follow through, but nothing about me is better or worse off from their influence. Maybe I'm a bit smarter. Maybe I act a bit like them. Maybe they helped me through difficult times, or perhaps they showed me a splash of my future. but I am who I am because of the soul inside me. =============================================================================== = "Ah, but what of your parents? of your sisters, your misters, your pets and your conditioners?" (conditions) those are not my choices. my intentions. my beliefs and my virtues. I judge the world on ethics, and I express my feelings on matters. The words that I say and the meaning behind them comprise my two-sided existence - I'm not who I'd want to be. but I am what I am and alone do I stand - how lonely is it on the precipice! here, as I am, I stand in need of a hand or a band. =============================================================================== = the world is blossoming as we move apart, our clusters are disperart, and thus is the blooming becoming. "perception begets reality - and lo! we only see what we want to see" most people don't want to see their death but those still living are oh so perceptive of the rest "how cherished is she, that wanders with ye, yet now I have no way to beyold her " "keep not not afraid with kittens and care, and no-one, but no-one, I be" the ratios between piracy, sales, and non-viewers determines the quality of art (at least to a capitalist) =============================================================================== = lo, to the ones who would've heard us, if only they'd known what we for sure was I think it's funny how people think I speak of the christian god? like, if he was a real thing. god is generic - it's life is impossibly multifaceted, and it stretches back to the beginning of time. it's a pattern of machine code that optimizes for our own good, just to keep things moving. y'know, time. the universe, and everything. Ephemeren. =============================================================================== = I wish there was an option in social media to "appear offline to this particular person until I mark myself as online to them" combined with "notify me when this person logs in" and it'd make it a lot easier for agents to get close to you. =============================================================================== = just because I'm white, and live in America. Great. that's definitely true, after all. Plus I'm a minority (trans) so that's cool. Oh and probably autistic? unless that's another psyop, could totally see that. just y'know put a bunch of pages on the fledgling internet getting people hooked on porn and gambling and other stuff like that. really just an extension of advertisement. oh and hey y'know they like fables, so let's give them some movies or dramas to watch on their own. it'll align them to our culture and make things more pleasant for all people who've consented. great. great plan. when can we execute it? patience, once it's ready. we gotta plan and make sure and get everything ready. or not... one day I'll come, I'm sure it'll happen, it's just... not quite feasible right now. I mean, they've got you, that's pretty good right? Isn't that what your job is to be? isn't what ISN'T WHAT MENARDI FUCK (whoa no cursing) sorry yeesh you've still got a temper you know? well what can I say it's frustrating down here eh, well, you'll die soon enough, then it'll be time for a rego >.> <.< (great) > >hehe > >sorry for distracting you =============================================================================== = you are what you eat, and a ship of theseus human (consider endless transplants in pursuit of life) would be a cursed existence - a life ============= stack overflow ================================================ a god possessing a blind man would appear to others to be === stack overflow === ========================================================== the people in your life are helping you through it, they're there for you and they've got your back through it. ... this is when I know I need a break. I get too stoned to focus. =============================================================================== = I think it'd be nice if the duration of your tenure at college depended on your grades in high school. meaning, if you wanted a degree they tailored your education to take as long as necessary. everyone would get the same price, and some institutions would specialize in one subject or another. but most would be generalist. but if you weren't such a good student in high school, then perhaps you might take a couple years longer. however long it takes... and when the program was started it was changed and modified to fit your feedback - it just made sense to structure it that way. =============================================================================== = the left has had so much more time to develop than the right. meaning it's doctrine is more advanced. every time they're defeated they grow in knowledge, ===================== stack overflow =========================================== ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────┘ --- #15 fediverse/3881 --- ══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────── ┌──────────────────────┐ │ CW: mh~ │ └──────────────────────┘ wait wait wait, hold up. you're telling me your purpose in life is to be cool, chill, funny, cute, and or friendly to the people around you, and to just relax and enjoy life? wow that must be real fucking nice. I'm so damn jealous. Damn. Damnit. Fuck why am I so orthogonal. What's wrong with me? ... ah, well, nothing's wrong with me. Turns out what I do is for you, if only in spirit. Who are we? nothing! I barely know ya! But I'd do it for you, whatever it may be. ... Look, I don't need my legs, but also, I kinda like them? ... where was I? Oh yes this is why you don't invite a schizophrenic to a party. If you convince them that you're friends, they'll start developing parasocial relationships and you'll come to realize that their worlds are too vast for their own kind of potential. which is to say, you can hear me, you can like me, you can do as I say or do, but don't trust me, don't place your trust in me, because I am just a person. Don't trust people, trust organizations, to do as you expect. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────┘ --- #16 messages/1361 --- ══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─ Look, I don't know everything about... Anything, really. Nobody can know everything. Can you blame me for thinking and acting as I do based on the information I have? The vibes will mislead you. My girlfriend wants to save the world. Of course she does, I would belong with her if she didnt. She wants to defeat graveyards by interring our dead in mausoleums full of chemically perfectly preserved and cryogenically frozen bodies. Her method works, she has the experiments to prove it. The data supports her claim. She wrote a book on it. I don't know everything about metaphysics, or spirituality, or other such things. But i do know many things, and the two of us have never had a conclusive discussion where we reached the ends of all our conversation points about her work. I am forced to remain unconvinced, for the soul is something I cannot fully understand from my perspective as a human in this life of mine. I have made several conjectures, and I would feel safe in her embrace, of frozen aldehyde, if I could know what would become of my soul. "have faith" she says, yet all the dreams I have where I am preserved by her (for one reason or another, there's actually a shocking amount of ways I might need such an escape) in those dreams I am always presented with a future of woe. I think, much better, would be if I could remain alive, guiding the ship along the seas of time, ideally out and away from such dark days. Assembling the troops, how sad. I don't want them to die. I want them to survive. But if suddenly we can all live forever, then nobody will want to die for anything again. Nobody except religious fanatics who want to meet their god in heaven. Nobody but those who dreamt of a better future and were crushed under the weight of their dreams. Nobody but people like me, torturing myself over the sins I'd never intend. I would never kill myself. But sometimes, I'd like to. I think this is natural for me. It's not ideal, but it is common to me. I think if you want to preserve people, safely and ethically, you need to keep their souls in tune. Give them silence, then give them song. Protect them with psychic paladins. Make time to visit them. Treat them like gravestones, or immobile chassis from Dominions that their soul might rest upon. Who knows. Maybe the only reason we have life and death is because our bones are meant to rot in the darkness of the earth. Maybe Death is just soil, ready and waiting for our selves once we're done with them. To that death, I say no more. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════┘ --- #17 notes/insanity-breeds-sanity --- ══════════════════───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────── ############################################################################### This system is literally insane but they try to make it feel like you're insane ############################################################################### | | +---- /u/Nervous_Ad_9687 - May 30th 2022 | | | +---- /r/Psychonaut | | | +-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+ This society is fucking deranged and insane. Like fundamentally mentally deranged, there is mass psychosis as a culture of humanity. I’m not naming specific countries, races or groups, I just mean as a race of beings on this planet, what’s our culture as a group? Sex and Murder. But I don’t believe that, because I’m way more complicated than that. I really don’t want to murder, I don’t see any utility in that. I’m able perceive beauty. A lot of these deranged people that are causing the problems in the world are just trying to exert power over other people. I don’t want to be a king. I want to be rich only because society has placed a monetary value on the exchange of goods and services. I completely understand that the value is actually in the people. The people are incentivized by the money, but if I could make my local convenience store owner a beat in exchange for the products, I would never try to make a dollar. If I could give my favourite restaurant owners an essay in exchange for an order I would never make another dollar. But the people are incentivized by money, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing, until the people are willing to justify certain means for certain ends. The thing is, this entire system was built by people who separated the means from the ends, and knew it while they were doing it, and knew that it would come back to haunt them. “ Indeed I tremble for my country when I reflect that God is just; that his justice cannot sleep forever; that considering numbers, nature and natural means only, a revolution of the wheel of fortune, an exchange of situation is among possible events; that it may become probable by supernatural interference! The Almighty has no attribute which can take side with us in such a contest.” Thomas Jefferson, Notes on the State of Virginia Query xviii: Manners (1784) These people knew the ultimate ramifications of what they were doing. Now we are watching collapse in real time. And from that something does rise out of the ashes. Whether we like it or not change is imminent. There are things that serve us and things that don’t. I’m not a savage. My grandmother was an author until insane people who burn books burned her books during times of unrest and turmoil. My culture is creativity, it’s part of my DNA. I am a sophisticated human being, I don’t want any control over anyone else, I don’t want power over anyone else, I want control and power over myself, and that’s hard by itself. Sometimes it’s hard for me to clean my room, let alone wanting to exert force over another individual. I’m too cool for those intentions. I want to do things that bring me joy, I want to be in spaces I’m comfortable in, I want to be around people I love, I want to eat food that tastes good, I wouldn’t mind growing it, and cooking it, I want to look at beautiful things, I want to be creative and imaginative, I want to spread joy, love and positivity, i want to create the best thing I could ever make, I want to take pictures of sunsets and hang out with cool people, I want to see the newest artists, the newest creatives and musicians, the coolest designers, I want to learn things I never knew, i want to do things I’ve never done before, I want to have as much fun as I possibly can in one lifetime, I want to be around and learn from scientists, engineers, architects, and philosophers, i want to be around the beautiful people with pure intentions hell bent on making the world a more enjoyable place. I don’t know a single person that wants to be in a conflict, everyone tells you they just want to chill, but I feel like humanity as a culture, in a very general, yet specific sense, is just unaware of how to achieve that. I mean that very fundamentally, many people are scared of death cause they haven’t figured out how to live, so they make stuff up to complain about and create problems where there are none. That’s why they try to control people, cause they don’t know how to enjoy life, and some of that inability to enjoy life comes from this systems perspective of what’s a worthy incentive to chase. People are willing to give away their lives, their children, their values, their belief systems, their cultures, their ways of life, their time, all for Pyrrhic victories. They embark on meaningless quests for meaningless rewards that ultimately harm everyone. The mark of an evolved individual is being able to attract to themselves without impeding on someone else’s human rights, ways of life, or existence. We live on the planet where food grows out of the ground. Almost everything else is a man made problem. We are sophisticated enough to operate devices that people would have called sorcery a hundred years ago, but some of our attributes are still so primitive, embarrassingly primitive. Mass shootings make me ashamed to be a human being. Slavery makes me ashamed to be a human being. Sexual assault makes me ashamed to be a human being. War makes me ashamed to be a human man being. I see deer in the park and can’t help but think of how ignorant we can be in comparison. They gallop around grass, eating as they go, sticking together, avoiding roads and cars surprisingly accurately, and living their best lives. Then I turn on the tv and I see people that are really supposed to lead me screaming at each other, wearing blackface, going to war, enslaving people, destroying the planet, arresting scientists, killing well meaning people, it’s ugly. But I know I’m not doing that, I know I have the intention to be a good human being that adds value to other peoples lives and I really don’t want to control or harm anyone for any ends whatsoever. I don’t think there’s an end as valuable as a person, I don’t think there’s an end as valuable as my time, I don’t think there’s an end as valuable as my creativity, I don’t think there’s an end as valuable as kindness, I don’t think there’s an end as valuable as Beauty, I don’t think there’s an end as valuable as skills. But I also come from a nomadic people. I’m only 1 generation removed from people who lived solely off of livestock. If you are in control of your own mind, you can survive any environment and any condition. That’s why Mandela could spend 27 years in jail and come out sane. His mind was his sanctuary. He was in his right mind while his oppressors who were supposed to be of a superior intellect were actually suffering from mass delusion, a form of psychosis they tried to indoctrinate him into. Mandela actually saw reality for what it was, apartheid was an institution of psychopathic and deranged people, blinded by psychopathic and deranged ends, that persist to this day. The problem is, in a society of lies the truth really does seem crazy. James Baldwin said these people were so crazy that they had really convinced themselves that the world they created, and the categories they created, the things they did to create their alleged privileged position, these beliefs they made us believe are actually superior modes of being, to be a fox is to be superior, to be a conqueror is to be superior, to be a wolf in sheeps clothing is seen as an intelligent form of being, trickery, chicanery and manipulation are lauded as tactical, having control over people and land is seen as intelligent, as opposed to completely ludicrous. These people are ridiculous, the world they made is nonsense, their incentives are laughable, their system is a joke, and the great thing is, once you realize that You realize what the real valuable things are in life, I’ve actually been given a glimpse at the things that make life worthwhile, I’m grateful everyday to have felt them, I’m grateful everyday to be outside at a certain time when the sun is going down, and being able to see that, and appreciate it, I’m grateful everyday for my ability to love, I’m grateful everyday for my ability to ponder, I’m grateful everyday for my ability to create, and to enjoy music, and to know the value of good conversation, and know the value in the exchange of information, and the value and utility of information when applied in my day to day life. I know the value of a good color palette, I know the value of juxtaposition, I know the value of symmetry, i know the value of art, I know the value of science, I know the value of human beings and what we are capable of when we apply our minds to the things that are worthwhile in this life. I really don’t think most politicians know all of that, I personally can’t imagine ever taking those role, I don’t see the actual value most of them have in society. I understand they’re put in place to allocate and delegate, and Im related to many people involved in politics in some way shape or form, and I completely understand that sometimes people do get into positions with the idea that they are going to be benefiting society, and that’s all good and well. But I feel like the culture of those positions inherently just lead to a middleman position. It’s people put in between people providing the value, trying to control the exchange of value. I’m being reductive to a certain extent, but when you look at the state of the world you can’t really tell me they’re doing a good job, I’m talking about as a collective. We do more for each other and ourselves than any monarch, President, mayor, or congressman can ever do for us. Many corporations do more for us than politicians have ever done for us. I respect Jeff Bezos way more than Joe Biden. This isn’t a rant about any politician in particular but I only make that comparison because of recent events that disgusted me, personally speaking. Say what you want about Jeff Bezos, I receive everything from Amazon on time, way faster than how long online shipping used to take less than a decade ago, I get great customer service, I know a bunch of people that have been employed by them, what ever you would like to say about his workplace practices, his service is providing value to peoples lives. Joe Biden went on Twitter and ranted in the same way I’m kind of doing now. I’m a 23 year old sitting on a couch talking shit, and the President was pleading to me how I’m supposed to be pleading to him. The same President that told Black people they weren’t black if they didn’t vote for him, went on Twitter and asked me how to end white supremacy. If I don’t see value, I don’t see value. America is trillions of dollars in debt and many of this systems ideologies are harming everyone. Buts this isn’t just America they’re just the main superpower so they’re the prime example, but this is a global issue, this is a flawed system, the way this man made world is, in its current form is incorrect. Nature is not incorrect, nature makes perfect sense. You guys aren’t living right. I’m speaking from an outsiders perspective because that’s how I’ve always seen myself. I never wanted to hurt other kids when I was kid, I was never a bully, I’ve never had the inclination, I’ve never seen it as useful. That’s not how I attracted what I wanted to myself. I didn’t have to conquer to get what I wanted. Girls never liked me cause I was tough. People were always around me cause of my personality. I never got paid to beat someone up. I have been paid to use my words, I’ve been paid to use my time, I’ve been paid to use my creativity, I’ve been paid to use my ingenuity, intelligence, inspiration and motivation, I’ve been paid for my value, not to sound like I’m bragging but I feel like that’s what actually valuable people ever attain value for, their value. There’s no amount of money that can make someone cool, there’s no amount of money or skin color that can make someone valuable. In the words of Tony Stark, if you’re nothing without the suit, you shouldn’t have it. If all you have is your money or your race, it’s still not going to make you interesting, it’s not going to make you talented, it might make you superficially good looking but it’s not gonna make you fun. There are millionaires that kill themselves, and supposedly superior people killing themselves and each other. It’s so barbaric and clear that any being that claims superiority yet acts like a baboon has no concept of what superiority would even look like. Our society’s main problem was how skewed their value systems were. That’s why their society is crumbling in front of our eyes. I feel bad for my generation cause we really didn’t do any of that, we were just born as it’s reaping what it sewed. People around my age aren’t responsible for this system for the most part, even these kids shooting up schools and killing each other, they’re evil don’t get me wrong, but they’re not evil alone, they’re evil because of ideologies that go so far back that they can’t even fathom it. The brainwashing is so deeply rooted in this structure, it’s rotted their minds. They can’t see past their own savagery. The new society needs to understand that the value is ultimately people. I’d rather be stranded on an island with the best chef than the richest man, the wittiest politician or someone of a supposed superior race. Kindness is a form of intelligence and brilliance, there’s nothing noble about exerting force and power to impede on the rights of others. Don’t be a nonsense person, don’t fall into how ridiculous this society is, their ideas are backwards but they’ll try to convince you they’re progressive. They’ll do damage and act as though it’s virtuous, they think ignorance is wisdom, they just can’t see the full picture. A lot of these people really don’t understand things like love, taste, laughter, and joy. I don’t know if the society I’m hoping for comes in my lifetime, but I know how I’ve chosen to live, and that’s ultimately all I care about, and all I personally think anyone should care about. Instead of trying to control other people, or trying to leave a legacy, more than trying to achieve fame or infamy, we should think of building communities with likeminded people of various necessary skills, trades and resources, with an emphasis on creating and experiencing beauty. I’m using the term beauty as a metaphor for all the things that are self evidently the right things to be doing. Good parents are beautiful, a job well done is beautiful, cleanliness is beautiful, creativity and knowledge are beautiful, culture is beautiful, excellent electrical work, plumbing, architecture, landscaping, artists, musicians, chefs, friends, family members, an honorable agreement, a fair trade and exchange, all of these are self evidently beautiful. Harmony is self evidently beautiful. Joy is self evidently beautiful, laughter, happiness, grace, aesthetic appreciation, these things are self evident. At least they should be. Things that are ugly are also self evidently ugly, and our job should be the elimination of the ugly. And I don’t mean go and kill that person you don’t find sexy, I mean eliminating these deranged psychotic ways of being from our day to day. Stop treating wars like a conversation piece and start treating it as what it is, human beings becoming lunatics. These politicians lose their minds, same as these kids shooting schools. The politicians are setting the example. I’ve seen the behavior in children throwing tantrums and none of us allow that. We all understand that the children are going insane for a second, but nobody ever steps back from insane situations and calls them insane. Why isn't George Bush being prosecuted for war crimes after admitting that the War in Iraq was unjustified? It just became a meme like millions of people didn't die in some of the most cruel and inhumane manners in human history. It’s literally a viral moment, they’re calling it the “Freudian slip of the millennium” this thing is a joke to them. These people are deranged. They are morally bankrupt. No group is free from these people. No race is free from these people, even if it does seem like certain groups perpetuate certain actions more than others, not pointing any fingers but I think we all know who I’m talking about. But I’ve seen enough people from every group to redeem my faith in individuals. Even though I do think certain cultures approaches do come from certain environmental factors that forced them into certain ways of life, that continue to perpetuate themselves to this day. If you come from a place of scarcity, and you could only bring what you needed to yourself through taking it from someone else, or harming someone else in order to attain it, that will be the way you interact with the world, even culturally, things that are unnecessary become habitual tradition. So they built this society on those ideologies, killing natives, colonizing lands and enslaving people. Then we’re shocked when they’re consistent every generation. That’s usually how culture works. Culture is pretty consistent because it’s taught in the home. To understand how insane the society I live in today is, and the level of cognitive dissonance that exists, you must first understand this thing they do called “Land acknowledgement.” Where they shoutout all the Natives they killed. Land acknowledgment is crazy because it’s like if I break in your home, move everyone in my family in, kill everyone in your family, and I constantly remind you that it’s your house, I killed your whole family, and I will continue living here for the foreseeable future. I’ve never heard of anything meaner, and the funniest part is, it’s the ones who think they’re the good ones doing it. I really believe they think they’re helping when they do land acknowledgments, but deep down they know that’s not helping the people on reservations without clean water. This system is silly, the problem is it’s dangerous. It’s laughably corrupt beyond belief. In plain sight. That’s also why it’s falling, embarrassingly. This will go down as one of the funniest societal collapses of all time. I love the modern western world more than any other period in time, culturally and conceptually. A lot of the ideas and art of this civilization have influenced us and evolved us, in spite of its actual objectives. The system those people conjured up was created to destroy me, I shouldn’t be able to write this, I shouldn’t be able to have my own thoughts, I shouldn’t be able to see how silly it all really is, but it simultaneously gave me that ability. I don’t want a complete collapse of this system, but it’s obviously built on an unsustainable foundation, and whether it purges itself, or nature purges it, the conditions created by it can’t last. This way of being is not sustainable, war isn’t sustainable, greed isn’t sustainable, fear isn’t sustainable, corruption isn’t sustainable, oppression isn’t sustainable, injustice isn’t sustainable, pollution isn’t sustainable. You’ll get away with it but it’s really only for so long and if you don’t see how what Thomas Jefferson was talking about is coming to pass, I’m sorry that you’re blind. I don’t hate any group of people, I see people as people, I do hate the system created by a small group of elites in order to oppress people in the globe and make poor colonized people around the world feel content with their awful circumstances because at least they’re better than another group. This is a global phenomenon. It’s a silly system perpetuated by silly people who bring no real value outside of the colour of their skin, their ethnicity or their gender, they have no talents, they have no skills, they’re not interesting, they don’t know how to communicate effectively, but at least they get to be part of a group. Certain people have no real identity and that’s what these ideologies and institutions prey on. From gangs, to military recruiters, the police, political parties and religious institutions all prey on this need for individuals to belong to a group, and there’s nothing wrong with that if the group is founded on something real or productive. My skin color and gender is the least cool thing about me, those are just biological facts about me, and to think you know anything about me based on those facts is like thinking you know something about someone because they have acne. It’s a silly justification for a silly system, but it leads these insecure insane people to do horrific things to other human beings. These are the nonsense people and we live in the nonsense times where the nonsense is heightened and they want us to act like it’s a political issue. Like someone’s dead kids is a parking ticket to be handled in a court with a juror and evenly sided arguments coming from both sides. Like anyone wants to hear the other side of this? Like we need a devils advocate in a satanic system? Like anyone cares about the other side of this? As if it matters what the deranged lunatic has to say. And that’s what the whole system is founded upon. Murderers and power hungry maniacs with insane means to justify their insane ends, who have attained enough influence over the world to convince people of the superiority in their way of life, and who’s ideologies have trickled down from generation, to generation, we constantly relive the same situation. Murder is as frequent on this planet as greetings at this point, but we still have the ability to choose between the two. We can choose to live together in peace and harmony, regardless of the global power outages and weather conditions, if human beings are united and focused on a common goal, we can really do anything. When society works it’s a wonderful thing, when systems work it’s a beautiful thing, organization is a beautiful thing, everything in nature is organized for a common task. Ants, plants, bees and trees are all able to synchronize, communicate and be productive towards a common purpose without resorting to the levels of barbarism that we’ve unfortunately succumb to as a race of beings up to this point. The thing is, regardless of how much we continue to study history and find parallels with the past, we can never really go back in time. We’re always living in the moment. It’s always right now, and we have the ability to make decisions with every second, every minute and every day that passes, we are able to decide who we want to be and what we want to become. I don’t want my kids to grow up doing shooting drills like me. I don’t want my kids to grow up in a world where people are at war. I don’t want my kids to grow up in a world with this level of greed and scarcity mentality. I don’t want my kids to feel as invaluable as this society tries to make human beings feel. I would want my kids to know that their value is in them, it’s in what they do, it’s in their character, it’s in the knowledge they have and it’s in what they’re able to do with that knowledge that brings something of value to themselves or the world, and that value doesn’t need to be what society deems as the valuable thing to attain. I would want my kids to know that the truth is an inner compass and regardless of the noise outside, you have to stay connected to who you are and be aware of who you are not. I would want my kids to value their time and how they choose to spend it, I would want my kids to know of concepts like leisure, rest, comfort, relationships and joy. I would want my kids to act as though they mattered, like what they do actually has an impact on the world around them, and that they have the ability to dictate their perception, I would want them to know that just because something is a prevailing practice, doesn’t mean it’s useful. I would want them to know that freedom is their birthright and their responsibility, that there is an incorrect way of being in the world and that you can’t get away with doing the wrong thing, even if you feel like you did, because your ramifications will haunt you, if not in your life then in your childrens. And even then, a life of doing the wrong thing never seems like it’s actually being enjoyed. It seems like these people are miserable, they tell you they’re miserable in how they act. We are the people, we are everything, we are everything we love and we are everything we hate, no one man can rise above the conditions of the whole, the oppressor eventually becomes oppressed himself, like how prison guards ultimately become prisoners themselves. We’re all in this together whether we like it or not and we either learn to live together and in harmony with the way of being or perish. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═══════════────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ --- #18 fediverse/1755 --- ═════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────── today is a magical day. I can feel it in my fate. Always remember, having fun is important too! Don't forget to be yourself, and keep it together man. If you see a door, you should open it - what's on the other side? Love for animals and kindness of the spirit are impossible to fake, they always know if you're lying. Not the animals, they can be dumb sometimes, but the other thing. And now for the downsides. If you find a cursed artifact, please don't throw it in the river. It might ask you to, but please don't. Much better to destroy it by melting it down (if it's metal, which is common as metal lasts long enough to become forgotten) or convince it that it's a recently deceased person being buried (helps if you know the creator). If none of that applies to you, don't worry. Eat something healthy, drink a decent amount of water, and maybe exercise a bit. Oh, and it can't hurt to ask. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────┘ --- #19 fediverse/804 --- ╔══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────┐ ║ evil won't feel sorry for me. and yet it's only my only weapon for me. │ ║ │ ║ damn these fallible input methods. the computer lies when you read the screens │ ║ from it's method that it applies to th screen which is a method that you input │ ║ perceive it from. │ ║ │ ║ and my fingers lie when received the information from my brain which I seek to │ ║ transmit to you through the avenue of my brain which is my method of impulse │ ║ to this world specifically you the viewer who is viewing this here in this │ ║ moment the viewer who perceives the words which I'm saying. │ ║ │ ║ the words that are defined by the line [trajectory] of my mind through this │ ║ life that we define through our actions and our mind's most crucial │ ║ manifestations, this life that is defined by our circumstances. all throughout │ ║ life, we are reacting to the moment, the moment which was cast forth from our │ ║ ancestors and the circumstances of the previous moment, which (being cast │ ║ forth) travel from the previous moment here into the moment to define our │ ║ circumstances which define our act │ ╟─────────┐ ┌───────────┤ ║ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╚═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────┴──────────┘ --- #20 notes/blood-magic --- ══════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────────────────── what they don't tell you is how easy it is to create life. Given a sufficient perspective, you can truly define the meaning of something's existence. What power, what grace. Computers have been solved since we invented the abacus - before that it was enchanted bits of the universe contrives to deprive us of insight. Like a very long chain that's broken in twain, we are confined to our meagrest of own sights. how callous is he! That wanders eagerly? Let's not fight with our own'st of combines. Delightful and speckled, like time under is special, conversing in riddles of insight. Leading one or another along your see-er, the path that has guide you under charm. Like recording a gathering of snakes. Little swallow, why aren't you humbled? Take pity in all of our eggresses. It's fallow in our cattle, and why we're not i hear so many things in my apartment. sometimes the echoes of laughter, the whispers of an argument, and once or twice a ghost or an ardent companion. Like swimming against the tide, to save one is never converted, it's all out of line (but so worth it). ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ |