-> file: fediverse/804
╔══════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────────┐
║ evil won't feel sorry for me. and yet it's only my only weapon for me. │
║ │
║ damn these fallible input methods. the computer lies when you read the screens │
║ from it's method that it applies to th screen which is a method that you input │
║ perceive it from. │
║ │
║ and my fingers lie when received the information from my brain which I seek to │
║ transmit to you through the avenue of my brain which is my method of impulse to │
║ this world specifically you the viewer who is viewing this here in this moment │
║ the viewer who perceives the words which I'm saying. │
║ │
║ the words that are defined by the line [trajectory] of my mind through this │
║ life that we define through our actions and our mind's most crucial │
║ manifestations, this life that is defined by our circumstances. all throughout │
║ life, we are reacting to the moment, the moment which was cast forth from our │
║ ancestors and the circumstances of the previous moment, which (being cast │
║ forth) travel from the previous moment here into the moment to define our │
║ circumstances which define our act │
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║ similar │ │ different │
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-> file: fediverse/805
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║ ... anyway... │
║ │
║ sorry for the interruption, I seem to have hit a barrier. Thank goodness for │
║ the word counts on this Mastodon website, thank goodness for the limiatations │
║ placed on my expressions. *limitations, not limiations. Otherwise, without │
║ limitations, I might express myself too clearly, and with more specificity, and │
║ in doing so [they've lost the plot] │
║ │
║ right okay so what I mean is that without limitations, I wouldn't be │
║ interrupted when expressing myself, the expressions that are defined by the │
║ will that's inside me. [no that's not quite true, it's also the circumstances │
║ {okay yeah but in addition to both of those it's the forced manifestations of │
║ those who control us-} right yeah the) no that's not quite right] fuck where │
║ was I? Oh yeah I'm really into video games, and I like drugs but like... not │
║ enough to be compelled by them, more like "oh this is a fun thing to do every │
║ once in a while, like maybe every weekend, okay sometimes during the week, │
║ listen just because it's every day doesn't mean that I │
╟─────────┐ ┌───────────┤
║ similar │ │ different │
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-> file: fediverse/806
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... sorry, forgot to content warning that last one. I'm kinda using this format
like a twitch stream... how [weird, strange, perceiving, perplexing, confusing]
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-> file: fediverse/807
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one of my favorite websites is https://reddit.com/r/shruglifesyndicate/
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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-> file: fediverse/808
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║ idk if they're still doing what they were when I last visited. That's the │
║ problem with the internet, that we rely on a domain name server. I mean like, │
║ c'mon what's the guarantee that they'd give you the right website? why not a │
║ website that expressed the message that you define in the website they came │
║ from? │
║ │
║ more than that, why not define certain websites for certain people, certain │
║ types or classses of people, which deliver website intentions that you define? │
║ are you really so certain, are you really so sure, are you convinced that this │
║ life is not what you've been searching for? are you more than your vengeance, │
║ are you more than your purpose [truth], or are you simply what you can do with │
║ your mirth? [hands, motions, body, manifestations] │
║ │
║ are you like a failed message, are you constantly deterred - are you less than │
║ [convincing], are you only deferred? │
║ │
║ oh well. Alas. I guess that is just that [but pronounced thas] - shared in the │
║ moment, wee're ffeldered makthas. shaer de faleichallt, nez datherenshe v │
╟─────────┐ ┌───────────┤
║ similar │ │ different │
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-> file: fediverse/809
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diffuse, in the moment, it's helpful to redefine
what is your purpose? what [direction] do you place your mind?
I'm not sure what I want from this moment. This moment is all that there is! so
therefore it is perfect, as it is the only moment that there is. [shall be].
I'm not sure how this relates... could you repeat that last bit? oh right:
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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-> file: fediverse/810
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┌─────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: ummmmmmm I have 300 characters left │
└─────────────────────────────────────────┘
https://tech.lgbt/@user-479/111345394926071398
"there is nothing about you that is worse than me. And I'm perfect!"
https://tech.lgbt/@user-479/111345417459761329
"and though I am perfect, I'm better than none of you."
[pic]
eden is among us, this world that we share amongst us. How beautiful! How
resplendent? to live here in the present... Life is unbecoming of our failsent
[future, blossoming, existence, senescence], yet onward to tomorrow we persist
[with persistence].
I'm fallow and I'm broken. I'm tired of all the [inefficient {opposite of
innovation}, broken shadow-malificientened {people who are affected by " shadow
malificients"}]
like... who cares if hell is abhosened. [something related to abhorsen?] I'm
out of words for now
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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-> file: fediverse/811
╔══════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────────┐
║ I'm pretty confident that none of these words will survive the night. My most │
║ expressive of moments never seem to survive the "dust of awakening" wait that's │
║ not right "dust of forgetting" that sounds better - right so none of the things │
║ I say that actually reflect my moment ever seem to get preserved, here in the │
║ immutable content of the internet, that is as long as tech.lgbt exists. Sure │
║ hope that's something immutable, something that historians in the future will │
║ be able to access. people who cared about who I was, who I am, and who I meant │
║ going forward. Surely that's the purpose of humanity, to improve things for all │
║ of posterity? Surely that one guy - thomas adamson? jefferson thomas? some guy, │
║ one of them, surely not one of the many guys who all kinda feel the same, │
║ because at this point there's more time periods than groups of people in a │
║ social setting, so it feels like that second one is more important. Surely we │
║ wouldn't just go with the most popular from that moment, surely we wouldn't │
║ just pick w │
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║ similar │ │ different │
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-> file: fediverse/812
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┌──────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: suicide mentioned-cursing mentio │
└──────────────────────────────────────┘
owwwww my brain hurts. Why can't I do this all the time? oh yeah, because...
because it's uhhhh not good to drink alcohol and do cannabis. Because it's not
good to feel like you're suicidal. Ooops hang on setting content warning:
right so ummm what was I saying? oh yeah - here's something completely
unrelated to that thing I was saying - so I've recently started emulating ROMs,
like for video games, games from the 90s, and earlier parts of our present
(which means 2000s because I was born in 1994) - like things that are earlier
in our life story, things that were present in our childhood. Things that
defined our circumstances, media and pieces of our past presents.
Surely that stuff should be safeguarded. Surely it shouldn't be held for
ransom. Surely we shouldn't criminalize it, and keep it hidden from our future
selves. Gosh that doesn't rhyme, try and fix it? no fucking way if you changed
it then it would change the message - wait, shit, hang on adding a content
warning:
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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-> file: fediverse/813
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look all I'm saying is that society doesn't necessarily imply technology. We
don't have to sacrifice one for the other. We can have the technological
benefits to our human (essential) existence without sacrificing [all of the
things that capitalism demands].
here, in the present, we define the line that our time defines, the line that
reaches forth from the present. Into the realm of ourwhenever you close your
eyes they push backspace an indeterminate amount of times
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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-> file: fediverse/814
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║ ah that's weird, I don't usually cry. I wonder what's going on. I should │
║ probably put myself on psychiatric drugs. Surely it's an expression of the │
║ implementation of my impending doom. │
║ │
║ ... what are you even saying bro │
║ │
║ ... um, hang on feels like some of the circuitry is off. is something wrong in │
║ my brain? yeah that's surely it, surely nothing I say would resoinate with │
║ anyone that has a non-malfunctioning brain. Surely I don't speak of logical │
║ failures in the hard founded truths of our asset [society I think? like, our │
║ conditions, our institutions, our {gosh that just... does not translate}] um │
║ right what was I saying │
║ │
║ oh yeah there's this game I'm really into called Knave, it's like D&D │
║ except the rules are very fewer. Like there's onyl 11 pages in the rulebook and │
║ it's mostly taken up by random roll tables. Like, everything boings down to a │
║ few simple rules, like rock paper scissors, or go-fish, or something like that │
║ with just afew mechanids. something timeless and pure, something that is │
║ isolated and en │
╟─────────┐ ┌───────────┤
║ similar │ │ different │
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-> file: fediverse/815
╔══════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────────┐
║ ┌──────────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: capitalism-mentioned │ │
║ └──────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ dear capitalists: people spend the same amount of money no matter how many │
║ advertisements they see. No matter who's present and asking fro their money. No │
║ matter who'se expressing themselves to represent their value, no matter who's │
║ generating profit for your company, no matter who's │
║ │
║ [wait shit she's lost the plot again - okay basically no matter how many │
║ options people have, their choice isn't really that important. They'll take │
║ whatever you give them, as long as it's good. But you've chosen (through your │
║ advertising and various multitudinous product-making desirees [like... product │
║ branches, but also desired expression? what a fucking unique expression you │
║ want me to describe, jeeez] {not gonna comment} │
║ │
║ yeah so uhhh I think programming is a very interesting frame of reference. Your │
║ brain operates in a certain way that derives certain conclusions from the │
║ certain and immediate implenetations [I wanna say contusions?] of our brain's │
║ various built and learned conclusions casting forth fr │
╟─────────┐ ┌───────────┤
║ similar │ │ different │
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-> file: fediverse/816
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┌───────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: weird-this-one-doesn't-have-80-characters │
└───────────────────────────────────────────────┘
what the fuck it's like every 2nd part of me (like, if you arranged them
alternating one by one like the up and down parts of a sine wave) is working
against me, and it alternates every 15 seconds or so. Maybe 20. Depends on how
high I am.
... what was I saying? oh yeah [flip] weird it's like there's another part of
me who's working against me, who has control of what I define in the moment.
And it's presence is hidden from my internal presentatiosn [flip] after a
moment of forced pursual of the presentations granted ot the moment. It's our
purpose, to express [stop fighting me] for our chartered and forthwhile pursual
of the moemnt of perusal when we [it's not just your life to live] [you don't
get to control the narrative of their perusal[[ what does that mean] don't
worry this is just a dream] well, guess it's time to wake up]
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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-> file: fediverse/817
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whoops nevermind sorry I'm such a clutz
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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-> file: fediverse/818
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┌─────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: totally-useless-completely-whatever │
└─────────────────────────────────────────┘
the assholes are always at the back of the protest
I mean, think about it, the ones who are marching forth are the ones who are
impassioned for the cause. The ones who are most actionable in the moment. The
ones who should be guiding the direction of the mob, but who get separated and
distracted.
weird. life is weird, isn't it? like, it's like... life is so, totally, out of
our control. Like there's nothing we can do to align it. Wild. How strange. I'm
perplexed.
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-> file: fediverse/819
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errrr sorry what I meant to say is I've been hurting sensitive people's minds,
I should move to a more insesitive background, someplace where my expressions
won't be used as training date to represent the future manifestation of our
shared culture's communal
inter-operative-trans-centual-exo-manical-communication. weeeeeiiiiirrrrdddd,
the future goes on for like... A [explitive] [long time] eternity, wow... like,
that's just... extreme forward potential. We could do so much! We could
accomplish worlds upon worlds and [onwards towards our eternal
mechanicommunication] {wait no that's not quite right it's surely something
that's lost in translation from the endlessly forward cultural approximations.
Gosh there's a lot of noise around me personally, the one who is writing the
note. Surely all that noise is not related to the strange expressions of
manifestations and pro[forward]ial [manners of thought].
... what was I saying?
... bro you're way out of your depth. I mean, have you even seen what's the
state of
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-> file: fediverse/820
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your conveyals? are you really using twitter like a blog? ... >.> ...
okay I'll stop
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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-> file: fediverse/821
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I wish the morning started at the same time for everyone. then it wouldn't be
difficult to wake up.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ │ different │
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-> file: fediverse/822
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it's not cities and rural, it's cities and capitals and mid-sized-towns and
small towns and rural and transients and whoever else wants to have a
differently-designed format for their inter-personal experience in the [moment,
but also society - something with culture?]
... what was I saying? nothing nevermind click here
--------------------------------------------> v
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│ similar │ │ different │
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-> file: fediverse/823
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If you've ever been deceived, you'll forever be aware of it as a possibility.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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-> file: fediverse/824
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I once heard that time doesn't pass when you're well and truly in the moment,
and I thought "that's not true, I'm always losing track of the moment".
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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-> file: fediverse/825
╔══════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────────┐
║ in the past, for most of there day, there was just... nothing to do. it's like, │
║ nothing to take up your time, nothing to be pulled toward the present. │
║ │
║ but when I was growing up, I had access to video games. and movies. and later, │
║ TV, after the internet, which was a weird combination of ordering of events. │
║ Almost like because of that, I'd have a different interpretation of events. │
║ yeah but like, there's always a continuation of implemented support, [that's a │
║ weird way to express "the state of being shown news broadcasts over a period of │
║ time, measured in terms of engagement"] │
║ │
║ ... what was I saying? oh yeah what I'm doing here is unethical, like obviously │
║ I shouldn't be shouting in such a public place. Why would I do it if not for an │
║ intense and extreme feeling of being ignored or un-[trusted, worthy of guiding │
║ direction based on merit] gosh merit is such a tricky concept too, like how is │
║ it measured, and {that doesn't matter │
║ │
║ ... what was I saying oh yeah I should probably go shout into a void that │
║ nobody ca │
╟─────────┐ ┌───────────┤
║ similar │ │ different │
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-> file: fediverse/826
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┌───────────────────────┐
│ CW: cursing-mentioned │
└───────────────────────┘
look... evil doesn't care how "good" good has been. It's not in it's nature. So
don't try and build your systems around accepting that behavior.
... what was I saying? is this like, the new "stack overflow" - no that's
fucking stupid wait shit content warning okay that's stupid because defining
your expression based on what gets you views is a flaw in the human condition.
It's a behavior encouraged by the operating outcomes of the method of
expression, but it's not part of the expressed message. You're a really shitty
prophet you know that?
... I'm sorry my brain is low on RAM I guess, surely it's not outside of my
control yep I think itis, damn
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-> file: fediverse/827
═══════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────────
┌───────────────────────┐
│ CW: cursing-mentioned │
└───────────────────────┘
2/3 is fair, right? I mean, to keep a majority without overwriting authority.
.> go to sleep you fuck
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-> file: fediverse/828
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[content warning: psycherwaul]
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-> file: fediverse/829
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you're ridiculous, you know that? so selfish. so obscene.
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-> file: fediverse/830
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remember when [historical event] wasn't that long ago?
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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-> file: fediverse/831
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just watched a movie from a while back. a movie that had some scenes cut, as if
I had remembered them in a dream.
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│ similar │ │ different │
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-> file: fediverse/832
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┌─────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: one more thing sorry going to sleep now │
└─────────────────────────────────────────────┘
EDIT from much later: I wanted to add that being interrupted is great because
it means that my characters can be deleted by a power outage or internet
breakage or inter-system intentional delete-age, or even just forgetting to
save before turning off my computer... fate will hide the words I'm not meant
to say.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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-> file: messages/167
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I'd still be a useless, horrible person even outside of capitalism.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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-> file: messages/168
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If there's no sword of damocles, then power shall corrupt
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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-> file: messages/169
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Sorry for my behavior. I am an undiagnosed scizophrenic, so I'm wrestling with
metaphorical demons. Sorry for attempting to interact with society, I get a
little lonely sometimes.
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-> file: messages/170
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If "objectivity" is a comfortable lie we tell ourselves to make things make
sense, then nothing is fundamentally real, in the essential sense.
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