=== ANCHOR POEM === ════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────── Look, if I'm going to do this thing, i need so, so much help. With everything. I can't do anything for myself. I can barely do things for others. Yet somehow i am at the center of things. [delusion? Paranoia? Ha those are level 3 symptoms. I'm way past that.] Girl you're not crazy. Stop saying you're crazy. "sorry, but, you're schizophrenic" was always intended as sarcasm ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────┘ === SIMILARITY RANKED === --- #1 fediverse/441 --- ═════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────── @user-328 don't trust anything on the internet. It can be taken from you. don't trust anyone in your life - if you are alone, which you can verify through the sense of connection you feel to others - if you are alone, how can you trust anyone that they've provided for you to interact with? when's the last time you drove to a random city in your country and tried to make friends with passerby? Would you even be convinced that they'd be aligned to their own designs, and not to that which "they" assigned? do note that I'm schizophrenic, probably, according to nobody but me, so... take what I say as you will ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────┘ --- #2 fediverse/5763 --- ╔═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────┐ ║ ┌──────────────────────────────────────┐ │ ║ │ CW: spirituality-mentioned-mentioned │ │ ║ └──────────────────────────────────────┘ │ ║ │ ║ │ ║ I'm not omniscient, I'm not all powerful, I'm just a girl, all I see is │ ║ through my eyeballs. But I can listen to the waves around me, I can sense when │ ║ intuitions leading me from wrong. I know when right and wrong are │ ║ [compared/imperiled], and sometimes things feel right when they rhyme. That's │ ║ synchronicity girl, a classic symptom of mental disorders. "Oh, you're a god? │ ║ you're crazy then, take these meds which anesthetize your │ ║ [divine/feral/imperiled] self. They help quite a few people!" │ ║ │ ║ people, yes, but I literally just said that's not the only part of the │ ║ equation. │ ║ │ ║ "what if you're lying" yeah true it's not like I can prove it, I'm not │ ║ omniscient and I can't summon fireballs or at-range-electrocute. I'm just a │ ║ person, it's been driven into me from a young age, I'm just a person, don't │ ║ forget or else we'll put you on stage. │ ║ │ ║ "what if we waited just a bit more" oh, do you like this comfort? do you feel │ ║ safe in this home of yours? │ ║ │ ║ yes. I feel safe. I am unafraid for my safety. │ ╟─────────┐ ┌───────────┤ ║ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╚═════════╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════┴──────────┘ --- #3 messages/296 --- ═════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────── The trick is, if you *think* you're schizophrenic, then you will be. If you *think* you're telepathic, then you will be. There are no grand narratives. Just live your life as you will and be content with what you build for yourself. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────┘ --- #4 messages/169 --- ══════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────── Sorry for my behavior. I am an undiagnosed scizophrenic, so I'm wrestling with metaphorical demons. Sorry for attempting to interact with society, I get a little lonely sometimes. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────┘ --- #5 fediverse/1065 --- ╔═══════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────┐ ║ not only do you have to consider your judgement, but also whether or not │ ║ you're wrong. │ ║ │ ║ often, I find, as I learn things day by day, │ ║ │ ║ that I'm wrong most often in the day. │ ║ │ ║ "I don't want to be wrong but I'm not afraid of making mistakes." │ ║ │ ║ then, when you consider as such, you must also consider the idea that you're │ ║ wrong about whether or not you're wrong about the idea that you're considering. │ ║ │ ║ schizophrenic warfare is a kind of memetic exchange, like the way bullets on a │ ║ battlefield are a mineral-ic transfer. such is an expression that a regular │ ║ computer system wouldn't be able to understand, but which an LLM might. If it │ ║ had access to all of your transcripts, then it could predict the │ ║ understandings at the same rate that you were. Essentially, understanding │ ║ exactly why you did every action that you did. And then it'd have enough │ ║ information to out-contra-dict (predict? hang on that's the opposite) you. and │ ║ in doing so it could divert it's own course. Gosh this message will be │ ║ meaningless unless I send it, s │ ╟─────────┐ ┌───────────┤ ║ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╚═════════╧════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────┴──────────┘ --- #6 messages/915 --- ════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────── uh, anyway, I realized that because of Words I can type into any of my places (wherever I felt it best suited) and it would still record as a chronological story. must feel sooooooo schizophrenic, but it's just because I'm viewing muse as I please. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────┘ --- #7 notes/ramblings-of-a-whackadoodle-lyrics --- ══════════════════───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────── *-------------------------*-------------------------*-------------------------* (center) | I don't think you're ever been out in the rain I don't think you've heard as it's falling around you I don't think you know, just what I mean, I think you're alone... With your thoughts. (left) Tell me what you think I do, all the times I think of you? don't give me anything back (right) Did you know that it's...? (center) When you know it's dark, you make it dark (right) oh, it's so dark (center) 'Cause you've never been (all) taught how to see (left + right) do you really think we live in a (center) 3d world? (all) 3d world (center) or, simply, a projection (right) yeah, it's probably that (center) if you didn't have your eyes, could you see where you were? if you didn't have your body too? Where's your sense of direction, is it lost in the rain? Keep it close to your heart (left) Have you ever once heard of proprioception, and have you ever felt like you were an artificial inception? (left + right) if my words ring true, it's possible that you, are not quite so alone (center) But... (right) our eyes, are fallible all lies, untenable, take it from me, it's going, to be, quite, a sopping evening. (left) perception, begets reality, and lo, we only see what we want to see (center) if you ever felt like you were closer to, another mind than your own, sorry but you're schizophrenic (left) if only you could see, if only you could see, (left + center) just what's inside of me (right) say it again, don't say it again, same thing you always say - it's not real, no YOU'RE not real, I only want to play (left) tear me apart, look me into my feelings. they're gonna scar anyway, no time for healings (center) if you couldn't save anyone, (center + left) did you really save anyone? (right) you couldn't save me, but only for lack of trying (Center) we're all falling leaves, in the waves of the ocean (left) don't enjoy me just leave me (center) going faster and faster till our hearts do stop (left) please, I can't be here for me (right) never trust a guru, life isn't meant to be enjoyed (center) so... What's the point in trying at all? (left -> right) say it again, don't say it again (center) what's the point in giving up? (right) same thing you always say (left + center) some people say (right) it's not real, no YOU'RE not real (left + center) they wanna live forever (right) some people say (left) some people say (center) I only want to play (left and right) we'll always be growing (right) and some people say they wanna live forever (left) but they don't understand what I understand (right, followed by center) but they don't know what I understand (left) they don't know how it's just a game (right and center) they don't know how it's just a game (left -> center) I think it's okay no matter what our fate I think it's okay ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═══════════────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ --- #8 fediverse/4165 --- ═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────── ┌────────────────────────────┐ │ CW: spirituality-mentioned │ └────────────────────────────┘ if the gods existed and had innumerable faces, I think most atheists would still be non-believers. Not because they didn't believe that the gods existed - they've been scientifically proven in this reality, remember? but rather because they did not want to worship. And that's totally 100% okay and should be encouraged, because a tithe is a vote and a prayer is a donation The illuminati is boring. "oh no a bunch of humans are pulling all the strings" how trivial. Just eat the humans and they can't be puppeteers anymore, now can they? much more interesting to me is to organize yourself against the Greek Choir. Though since they can read all your thoughts, you can hardly plan against them, can you? And some of those voices in your head with your own voice are them, after all, so can you truly trust your own intentions? ... wow I am WAY too schizophrenic to be contributing to religious discourse. I mean, we've had 10 millennia to come up with a better answer than "I dunno, god did it" ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────┘ --- #9 fediverse/5309 --- ═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────── ┌──────────────────────┐ │ CW: *cackle* │ └──────────────────────┘ there's this silly game that the gods like to play on ambitious mortals where they are given great and mystical powers... and then in their hour of need, they're taken away, so everyone's like "bro you're just schizophrenic" and the prophet is like "but god said" and their mothers are weeping in the corner because the city lost a new baker or butcher or candlestick stuffer ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────┘ --- #10 fediverse/3451 --- ════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────── ┌─────────────────────────────┐ │ CW: mental-health-mentioned │ └─────────────────────────────┘ dear ritz: you should stop talking until your new psychiatric meds take effect. who knows, maybe you'll be a better person that people should listen to instead of... whatever you are now. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────┘ --- #11 notes/cohost-introduction --- ═════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────── Hi, I'm Ritz Menardi. I'm a witch, so I'm strange and wear a funny hat. I like colors in the dark, poetry from the heart, and scary songs about society. I think of myself as a synecdoche for humanity, and though I'm not always right I try to be aligned when possible. Most people I've found aren't really like me. I am as I am, and I promise, I won't hurt you. content warnings: autistic, scary, existential, abstract, polite, perspectives, cannabis, color, paranoia, cringe, spirituality, hypnosis, trans, sardonic, honest, schizo-posts, futurist, deity, left-ism, cursed, shadowdancer, ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────┘ --- #12 messages/1445 --- ══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─ Am I paranoid? You betcha. Will I apologize? ... Probably not. Sorry. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════┘ --- #13 fediverse/510 --- ═════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────── @user-246 Thanks, it means a lot. Sometimes I am a little "distant" from reality (like tonight, tbh) but I generally always am within sight. Meaning I can still understand what people are saying. My uhhh.... "plan" is to always be vigilant and look for times when people cannot comprehend what I say - even the most mundane of things - because if so then surely I am psychotic. At that point I'll just kinda go along with whatever anyone says, even if it feels like I'm a cow in a factory farm or whatever my mind might contrive to torture me with. Thanks for reaching out. Sorry you've lost people. I hope they aren't gone forever. I hope I don't go forever. We'll see, I guess. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────┘ --- #14 messages/299 --- ═════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────── That feeling when you tell someone you're [trans/autistic/schizophrenic/whatever] and you see the respect draining from their eyes ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────┘ --- #15 fediverse/1259 --- ════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────── @user-895 hi! I'm Ritz Menardi, I'm a little strange. I sometimes post scary things on here. I try to put content warnings on everything intense, but sometimes it gets a little out of hand and I forget... I'm also a poet. Spiritual at best, a little schizophrenic at worse, but at all times I try to be true to myself. If you don't like the vibes I 100% won't be upset if you unfollow / block me ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────┘ --- #16 fediverse/3881 --- ══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────── ┌──────────────────────┐ │ CW: mh~ │ └──────────────────────┘ wait wait wait, hold up. you're telling me your purpose in life is to be cool, chill, funny, cute, and or friendly to the people around you, and to just relax and enjoy life? wow that must be real fucking nice. I'm so damn jealous. Damn. Damnit. Fuck why am I so orthogonal. What's wrong with me? ... ah, well, nothing's wrong with me. Turns out what I do is for you, if only in spirit. Who are we? nothing! I barely know ya! But I'd do it for you, whatever it may be. ... Look, I don't need my legs, but also, I kinda like them? ... where was I? Oh yes this is why you don't invite a schizophrenic to a party. If you convince them that you're friends, they'll start developing parasocial relationships and you'll come to realize that their worlds are too vast for their own kind of potential. which is to say, you can hear me, you can like me, you can do as I say or do, but don't trust me, don't place your trust in me, because I am just a person. Don't trust people, trust organizations, to do as you expect. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────┘ --- #17 fediverse/3608 --- ════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────── ┌─────────────────────────────┐ │ CW: re: computers-mentioned │ └─────────────────────────────┘ @user-1573 true but someone could walk in while you're away! the locks on doors aren't THAT useful if someone already knows where you live and what your room looks like and that you use linux. If you leave for a night they can just, copy the hard drives and scan through them at home. ... I'm too paranoid for my level of precaution xD xD ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────┘ --- #18 fediverse/480 --- ╔════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────┐ ║ There's something important in what I said tonight. And each of you will think │ ║ it's something different, which is by design. Can you find the nugget I wanted │ ║ to share, to you in particular? Can you isolate the thing that is relevant to │ ║ you, the person perceiving the words that I speak? Oh yeah you're only looking │ ║ for things to express to your superiors because someone else told you to look │ ║ for a particular type of sentiment. My bad. Sorry for being cryptic. Am I so │ ║ strange for seeking the human element? Perhaps I lose myself, and I speak to │ ║ the void (and by "void" I don't mean to demean you, the audience, because you, │ ║ the audience, are surely comprised of people who surely have their own │ ║ experience and existence. Surely nobody would seek to harm me, after hearing │ ║ those things I speak. Surely we, as the human species, would not be vulnerable │ ║ to the types of weaknesses that allow for critical failures in our defences │ ║ such as the kind that I am professing to exploit (while being aligned to you) │ ║ surely we wouldn' │ ╟─────────┐ ┌───────────┤ ║ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╚═════════╧═════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────┴──────────┘ --- #19 fediverse/508 --- ═════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────── @user-367 @user-366 @user-246 @user-353 Sorry. I'm (probably) schizophrenic so I say weird things sometimes. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────┘ --- #20 fediverse/3386 --- ════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────── ┌──────────────────────┐ │ CW: mental-health │ └──────────────────────┘ observation is when you look with no assumptions. paranoia is when you assume you can be seen. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────┘ |