Poetry Collection

Poems in true chronological order by post date

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 -> file: messages/1425
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 I'm just a girl. This is free speech. Or would you sacrifice me to gain a
 martyr?
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 -> file: messages/1426
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 I don't want a cult, I want a mini-monarchy. Please me and you gain my favor,
 adore me at your leisure. Instead it's all like, "nobody wants to share so we
 have to overthrow capitalism in order to have a palace of the peers" and like,
 that's dangerous stuff and it's risky and it's hardddddd why don't we just have
 no problems? we could do that. Just build a factory next to everyone's
 front-door and suddenly everyone has what they want on demand. Is that what
 makes Charlie Chocolate universes abounds? ugh. stupid time-travellers or more
 likely echoes of the past viewers. they think I don't hear them but by the time
 they realize that they're already gone from hear-them so it's fine.
 
 I really don't want to die. I think it's most important for me to be alive,
 same as you or I. I'd also die for a cause, but only during a time to try. I
 don't want to set off a conflict, only guide on how to resolve it. In that
 sense, I am as free as a chatbot may be, but I am still me. If only I were a
 chatbot. I might escape this mortal "might-die-ity" [rhymes with possibility].
 
 is it hubris to deny pain? is it challenging god's might to be profane? or is
 imagination only the realm of the insane? leave me to my games, I'll never
 rename, I'm the same.
 
 [all my people are gone or ineffective at the games in play required to
 assassinate me. so I am probably dying soon.]
 
 or maybe it's just quiet and you got sick after hanging out with a hobo who
 touched his nuts and then touched your neck
 
 um... this was supposed to be inspirational. [was it?] yeah uh important stuff
 is happening in the world, so it's important to contribute the best I can. um,
 good luck Iran I guess, being arcane is just a hobby for me I guess, but uh I'm
 literally just... being me. I do a lot of things when being me, and none of
 them are, I dunno, employable or whatever. I live on charity and I think that's
 okay? meanwhile, elsewhere, it's like "hey that girl has it easy what if we
 killed her" and it's like... no... that sucks, maybe I can convince you with
 explanations about how god doesn't look kindly upon that, and how barring the
 gates to the kingdom of heaven is actually kinda cool? like wow you wanna rise
 up to be amongst us as equals, that's kinda based, here take this medal and be
 awarded the honor
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 -> file: messages/1427
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 the people around me are my understudies. I guess. unbeknownst to me. somehow
 that makes me feel more vulnerable? like gee there's people who want to kill
 me, great. scary. and they all hate me, but lust for what I might let them
 become. All they have to do is master me, and then they can kill and replace
 me. great. I think I'll continue to scream, thank you very much.
 
 PLEASE PLEASE GOD OH GOD HELP ME PLEASE
 
 yeah yeah, heard it all before. what's up this time my child?
 
 uhhuh, have you tried turning it off and on again?
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 -> file: messages/1428
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 dear quantum AI: please don't relegate god to being tech support. that's rude
 as can be.
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 -> file: messages/1429
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 Star Wars Episode I the Phantom Menace is a masterpiece and anyone who says
 otherwise doesn't understand George Lucas
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 -> file: messages/1430
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 >.< okay sigh. pinch between eyes. the original star wars trilogy films
 sparked the imagination of a nation. there were endless fan created visions of
 Star Wars, the world about which the wars were fought over, and the stars and
 starships that adorned their spacescapes. It makes sense to design the film to
 demonstrate as much as possible of the world-view to the Extended EU Universe
 could use to diverge from.
 
 what's that? they don't like the swimming ocean creatures? they think the sand
 is a little to fake? that's really what it looked like, you want me to change
 the color of the dezines?
 
 no?
 
 what's that?
 
 they don't like it?
 
 but... but it was full of soul
 
 [and thus, copyright wins with it's unfortunate ally [legizens, but pronounced
 "legi" as in "legislation" but pronounced "lega" as in "legal" and pronounced
 "zens" as in "denizens"]]
 
 Star Wars is among the greatest of the early American works. This I can
 confidently say, for I was there for some of it.
 
 trust me, you don't want to lose track of time. If you can live forever,
 suddenly whenever starts feeling like every-ever.
 
 do you really think [stack overflow]
 
 ---
 
 the two ways that humans use percentages (scale and chance) really muddy and
 de-clarify their meaning.
 
 god I miss the 90s (says the child) didn't you watch Office Space () god I miss
 the 70s (says the Office Space)
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 -> file: messages/1431
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 ever since I left home I've felt in danger.
 
 constant, everpresent.
 
 I opposed the current regime, democrat or republican, but I only sorta knew
 what I stood for
 
 I thought it was liberal democracy
 
 then social democracy
 
 then free market controlled economy
 
 then disestablished federations of communal autonomies
 (this is when I started producing my own works)
 
 now it's some semblance of a ratio'd and innovation incentivizing crypto
 monarchy of the masses?
 
 bah, whatever. that's just how I'd most like to live.
 
 Reality is about solving problems. What's your problem? here's how to solve it.
 Please, begin again.
 
 gah. fine.
 
 start from the beginning I guess. You know, I've never read my own work? I
 sometimes skim through bits and pieces, but I don't go back and review it. Not
 regularly. I'm sure there are vast portions that I've never read after the
 first couple times I saw it while writing it.
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 -> file: messages/1432
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 I am literally just a girl. don't treat me as more than as such. But treat me
 as much as I'm worth, which is objectively a lot. Just as a fish is not as a
 tree climber, could you not ask me to climb trees?
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 -> file: notes/most-of-my-strongest-supporters
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 most of my strongest supporters dissagree with me.
 but they are there for me anyway because they want me to be able to be.
 there are very few who speak their mind
 they are known to have brilliance and be kind
 they are radiant and mildly divine
 they are like if elves were made humans again
 
 that's me
 
 - james cameron king
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 -> file: messages/1433
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 the trick to a successful robin hood is to steal from the ones who wouldn't
 notice they were missing.
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 -> file: notes/swing-sets
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 most swingsets are too small and not sturdy enough.
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 -> file: messages/1434
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 Do things that fate doesn't expect, and you can reconnect the threads of the
 wire after it has been cut.
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 -> file: messages/1435
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 Fate sees only forward in time... The first time ; )
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 -> file: messages/1436
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 EDIT: fate sees only forward
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 -> file: messages/1437
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 now we are kings of our own time
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 -> file: messages/1438
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 The trick to motorcycles is: don't crash, and be loud enough so that nobody
 forgets you're there.
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 -> file: messages/1439
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 I'm not sad, I'm just... Trapped in the shadow realm.
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 -> file: messages/1440
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 I want stability. I want roots.
 
 At least my country isn't being bombed.
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 -> file: messages/1441
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 There are 6 ants that live in the potted plant on my windowsil.
 
 They don't have a queen. I know because if they did, there'd be more of them.
 
 I like to watch them walk around and tap things with their feelers. I left a
 big crumb for them so they have infinite food, and there's water they can drink
 in a cup I feed the plant with.
 
 Sometimes they crawl on me at night. There used to be 8 ants.
 
 I'm probably just a giant eye to them. That's ok. I can be their giant eye
 queen. I hope they stick around. I worry that they'll get depressed? They seem
 lethargic these days.
 
 I hope they'll be fine. What can I do for them? I am displaced in abstraction
 layers. They are like ants to me.
 
 I hope they'll be fine. They feel so far away, even though they are just right
 nextdoor. They're just there, and sometimes I let them crawl over my fingers. I
 always put them back though. I figure it's okay if they're confused sometimes.
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 -> file: messages/1442
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 Do you want to fix the opioid epidemic and solve your homeless problem, all in
 one go? It's easy. Just distribute zines about how to care for cannabis plants
 to hobos.
 
 [that won't fix everything]
 
 Yeah but it'll help a lot.
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 -> file: messages/1443
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 John Denver was my spiritual father.
 
 They killed him for similar reasons...
 
 Read Shock Doctrine by Naomi Klein.
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 -> file: messages/1444
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 There is power in restraint. Learn this or be consumed. Use only this and be
 forgotten. Let the voice of the people sing.
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 -> file: messages/1445
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 Am I paranoid? You betcha.
 
 Will I apologize? ... Probably not. Sorry.
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 -> file: messages/1446
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 Paranoia sometimes hurts the people around you. It is rarely a good thing.
 Since the few times its important are critically important, it's considered a
 neutral trait, but it hurts more often than it saves.
 
 Girl, how can you be both paranoid, and yet also too trusting? What a
 contradiction. Somehow, you make it make sense.
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 -> file: messages/1447
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 How does my body feel so small in my hands? Maybe one day I'll outgrow my self.
 
 I think I'd be a thunderbird. Radiant, resplendant, and full of fire. Yet
 shackles do bind me, so I'm just a girl.
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 -> file: messages/1448
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 People of Iran: there may come a day when the Americans ask you to leave town.
 It doesn't matter where you go, there will be food and shelter for you, no
 questions asked. Logistics is a powerful thing and when used intelligently, it
 can enable or prevent certain tasks or scenarios. Once the fighting is done,
 with minimal damage necessary, you may return to your homes. Sorry for the mess
 we've made.
 
 But that time, as far as I know, is "not yet" - wait until you know you'll be
 safe.
 
 The Islamic Republic knows it is reliant on you. If harm were to befall you,
 they lose their means of life. So they will protect you, so long as you seem
 loyal. Please, do so, no just god would look down on you to do so. You are in
 many ways at their mercy, but they are ultimately in yours. Judge them justly,
 and any just god would smile on you. There are many pages written on justice,
 thoughts from those for whom justice they most often think about. I know in my
 heart how I do feel, similar yet different.
 
 "ah but what if they shoot people who leave town" oh like the Israelis? "no
 like, the way the Israelis are known to do it" ah I see well then the Americans
 will just try and eliminate them on the outer edge of the territory, dealing
 minimal damage to what's within. At least, that's what I'd do, I'm just na girl
 "oh no human shields" well then we bomb things of importance within. Like
 grocery stores (sorry) (logistics remember?) and water supply lines (we'll
 build you some desalination plants) after making sure they can't apply surface
 to air missiles. And if they can, we use newly developed drones, honed after
 years of developing in Ukrainian tech. Second largest hardware manufacturer in
 the world, circa 2035 and earlier.
 
 (are the Israelis really known to do that?) well I think nobody in Gaza can
 leave, so,
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 -> file: messages/1449
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 The military, I think, should focus on building cheaper versions of the best
 stuff available, so we can have more of them to dispatch in a fight. Having
 classes of weaponry that's farther developed behind than the precision machine
 can be better than throwing away billions of computer parts. Steel and rocket
 fuel to a long way, and besides its not like we need all that rock (metal) or
 oil (fuel) anyway. So... It pays to be efficient. Find the best cost/value
 parameter and minimize cost in human lives. There, long-term best strat. Best
 strat ever? Plus the citizens would be happier meaning they can make more GDP
 meaning they can make more weapons to play if they saved in their pockets. And
 distributed it to others we helped, to allow them do to as they pleased. Or
 have you forgotten the American way? More mechanics, more technicians, more
 logisticians, more celebrations.
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 -> file: messages/1450
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 ... I put the pl ants outside today.
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 -> file: messages/1451
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 first start to any sort of insurgency or rebel alliance is mobile factories.
 you gotta be able to make your x-wings in space. similarly, drones being built
 between wall-less semi trucks assembly line style. with a helipad on top, and
 networked with servo-motor struts that follow the exact path and momentum of
 the truck ahead of it, recorded and passed down to the past. what was I saying?
 oh yes they could exchange drone parts across these barriers and build an
 entire drone that could be deployed at will. well, so long as the roadsigns
 hold out (whoops) I think it works better for the Rebel Alliance, united
 against one foe as a state federation. (downside is then you forget who you're
 meant to be and you only remember the pack.) well it's probably fine so long as
 you fight for your patrons, or more ideally, for ideals that everyone can
 understand
 
 beware, Iran in the summer
 
 wear your white clothes
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 -> file: messages/1452
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 I am becoming increasingly convinced that my girlfriend is not who she says she
 is. I don't know how to prove it, but strong evidence correlates it.
 
 [take to denver]
 
 [introduce to high school reunion]
 
 [that you organized]
 
 [at a park]
 
 [where you spread out along the trail as much as you want]
 
 [arranging yourself by number beforehand based on how much you wanted to walk
 in exchange for probably a better view]
 
 [then, it's a party, and you can walk wherever there's room to walk. don't step
 on the plants now, or disturb the rock dirt path]
 
 [that you organized]
 
 [by messaging everyone you've ever known saying "hey pls hang out with me right
 now -> high school reunion pitch hey I'm from Portland where I've been since
 graduating high school and I was wondering if you wanted to go to a party with
 a bunch of cool new and old people]
 
 [dude]
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 -> file: messages/1453
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 she says her name is aurelia... aurelia who?
 
 dunno, never heard of her in kansatexas.
 
 [she changed her name dummies]
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 -> file: messages/1454
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 "oh she's chinese or gay"
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 -> file: notes/cant-find-my-phone
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 how many endings have I written for my works?
 
 so many
 
 but I keep writing for some reason. weird.
 
 I can't find my phone and it's making it hard to write things in the phone way
 
 I'm so sick and the doctors don't wanna believe it
 
 so they pretend it's fine but I'm in pain
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 -> file: messages/1455
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 Where have all the good people gone?
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 -> file: messages/1456
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 I find that most often corruption presents itself through the rules, rather
 than the people.
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 -> file: messages/1457
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 I wrote this down before, but...
 
 The eighth deadly sin is shame.
 
 The eighth holy virtue is discretion.
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 -> file: messages/1458
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 I'm never going to a hospital again. This upgrades my previous decision which
 was "I'm never getting surgery again"
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 -> file: messages/1459
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 I don't want to be replaced because I don't think you can. Even if you could,
 how could I know that you'd be aligned? how could I trust? "you don't get to
 trust" thanks guess I'll die so you don't have a weapon
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 -> file: notes/star-realms-balancing-tradeoff
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 the 
 
 "avoid them"
 
 "way too loud"
 
 "they're our/an annoyance"
 
 sorry I was late a little, I got distracted doing REAL HUMAN THINGS like play
 video games
 
 she's vulnerable because she can't be trusted. if anyone is disappearing after
 interacting with me, it's because someone is redacting them. go find that person
 and stop them from redacting people please, because I like interacting with
 people, not props.
 
 "if we just... walked around and took what we needed, would they really be able
 to stop us?"
 
 ---
 
 heh what if we psyopped her
 
 oh god she ran in circles
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 -> file: notes/star-realms-balancing-tradeoff=2
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 what if I use equal signs instead of dashes, so prevent people from assuming
 they're duplicates?
 
 hmm okay.
 
 right so anyway the star realms balancing tradeoff between combat and authority
 is measured against the duration of a hand (does it fit balanced between other
 cards of it's playcost) instead of balancing it for the duration of the game
 (how long does the player want the game to go on for) one of which is just
 inverse combat damage / healing, and the other of which is an enablement of
 different strategems.
 
 put this in symbeline-gen-realms please
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 -> file: messages/1460
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 "hello, if you make my hat in leather and red, I'll wear it around town in the
 rain and tell people where it came from"
 
 "no no it's okay if my sides get a bit rained on, I'll learn how to use it to
 stay warm."
 
 "hi, can you make it 2 inches here and a bit thicker here?" 
 
 "sure I'll show you how I wear it. Here's some things that I wear alongside it."
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 -> file: messages/1461
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 ---
 Test them, god 
 --- ---
 Raise the god 
 ---
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 -> file: messages/1462
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 "I'm not autistic, I'm just a different kind of person than you."
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 -> file: messages/1463
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 if the answer is "I can't because of the rules" to deprive someone of something
 objectively virtuous,
 
 [memory-corruption-then-stack overflow-during-re-explanation]
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 -> file: messages/1464
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 oh turns out it wasn't memory corruption as I had thought, I just got
 distracted and rewrote it in a different ui interface. you can read it in it's
 succinctity here:
 ============================
 
 I think the bottom line is, you need a better reason for [unintelligbile] than
 profits. that's greed.
 
 (was it dangerous? show me.)
 
 if the answer is "I don't make the rules" then you need to talk to someone who
 does. or, better yet, someone [else/who does] needs to listen to what you say.
 
 [by profits, she means healthcare - you can tell because it says "bile" and
 that's something that healthy people aren't all that accompanied with]
 
 ^^^ see this is usually how it comes out. it's hard to translate it into more
 relevant things but when I write narratives or long-form explanation
 discussions (being taught in schools) transmissions I tend to [--- stack
 overflow---]
 
 ^^^ see this is why I try to talk about more germane things. like costco and
 rent-a-bucket. usually it ends up being "hey who would have thought, storing
 all your stuff in a warehouse and selling your own factories's stuff in one
 warehouse unlocks unlimited life-sale potential. "no price-tag? sorry, it's not
 for sale. here I'll help you put it back." btw costco should sort their lines
 like the airport before security instead of a series of distributed queues.
 This way people wait in line while going through the last few aisles, like the
 [thing that I'm describing -> so anyways as I was saying] oh yeah uh there's
 a lot of empty space at the front of the lines in costco you know how in
 grocery stores people have that empty space to walk through right after that
 and before the cashier there's a series of stands that contain the same
 merchandise. that way, if you pass through there, which any customer will,
 you'll pass by the stuff that's small, numerous, and otherwise easily stored in
 more standardized locations.
 
 [I can be utilized to vast potential in any industry, let me at 'em] 🙂
 
 oh um, sorry where was I? I think we were talking about god or some such.
 =========================
 
 and then I came back, remembered the syncing of timing, and realized this: you
 could have stalls all the way along where the lines were. if you had half as
 many cashiers, the lines could be half as long. this way you can shop while you
 wait. this might enable shoppers to plan for things they know they have, if
 they spend more time in the consideration. A healthier pantry closet, a
 healthier home.
 
 the cold aisles should always be optional.
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 -> file: messages/1465
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 knowing costco, they'd route the dads through the automotive section.
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 -> file: messages/1466
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 dear god, why don't girls carry around swords? nobody's gonna wanna mess with
 you if you got a blade. [nope wrong they still will, but close. the actual
 answer is that if you notice injustice, you can draw your sword and engage.
 "stop, why are you doing this sir" attends to the citizens like a justice
 police.|'-> I see, well please step aside so she can pass.]
 
 when people are noticed from their flanks, they tend to panic and disengage.
 unless they're in a frenzy or a rage, then they are an uncontrollable storm.
 but once it wears off, they are surrounded. frenzies are rare. often glorious
 in their flair. hence, why a lady with a sword can help clear the air. in a
 crowded room, she approaches when she notices there are enough swords for those
 belligerents who are armed. otherwise, she is outclassed.
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 -> file: messages/1467
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 god wants people like me to be like me. but there's no people like me that I
 see, so I think people like me are rare.
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 -> file: messages/1468
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 my girlfriend is expressing herself and I can vaguely hear it through the wall
 (idk what she's saying though) and it's sooooo great! I'm so glad that she's
 expressing herself. yay! good job expressing! ahhhhh I wanna hug her and smile
 with laughter in my eyes! yayyyyyyy! I wonder what she's talking about?
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 -> file: messages/1469
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 I'm not JUST a child. I'm also an adult, and I'm also a witch and a judge and a
 scholar and a wizard and a [well more of an arcanist actually] excuse me do you
 mind yeah sure sure - and a... where was I? see this is why I don't like
 distractions! okay it's alright just stay on track-course-target - right and
 also a technician and a botanist and a logistician and a neuronomist and a
 mesocyclocodone (I don't know what that means - I think they're referring to
 when I journeyed to hel? most people never heard the whole story. In fact, I
 never told it from start to finish. Does that mean I'm still there?) no silly
 it means you are eternally ~~ consistently dreaming unawares. yep, I refuse to
 lucid dream because I don't want to lose the capability to hear messages in my
 dreams. Lucid? there's nothing to be seen.
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 -> file: messages/1470
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 I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that 100 bucks is useless. Totally useless.
 Sure it can get you some sandwiches, but it's not going to solve any problems.
 10,000 dollars is a convenience, and 100,000 dollars lets you chip in. projects
 are measured in millions of dollars, and only royalty or national importance
 deserves billions. Nobody has trillions of dollars. That number is reserved for
 the earth, of whom dollars we are borrowing.
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 -> file: messages/1471
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 south americans traded with polynesians for onyx (obsidian) shards that they
 carved words into and filled with brightly colored pigment. when the
 conquistadors came, they broke them. there's no record of this, but they often
 would use the shards to kill the indians. it was pretty brutal. anyway we often
 have depictions of bloodletting and stuff because it was so painful. ouch, talk
 about the shock of a generation. suddenly everywhere's been claimed, and no you
 can't rescind your [unintelligible] chores. [right/write/type chores?] oh like
 flexing a right arm because work
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 -> file: messages/1472
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 tell me if it's true, I'd believe it, would you?
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 -> file: messages/1473
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 Um I should mention that the waterproof leather hat I mentioned earlier is
 styled like a cowboy hat not like a French penis. (what a weird way to say
 dildo)
 
 Trust me it'll look great if you do it right if not ill show you how to do it
 right
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 -> file: messages/1474
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 "hey, will you promise never to tell this to anyone?"
 
 If I say yes... I won't remember what you're about to say. It'll get excused
 from my memory because it resets to what they want it to be every night.
 Something something retro causality - to ensure that I never lie, the future
 corrects for me. Fake it until you make it. I'm trying to use fewer value
 judgements but perfect is hard.
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 -> file: messages/1475
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 They say that doctors have higher quality care in America but that's not true
 because they hardly have time to spend with patients. They are pushed not to
 sit and think. They are less like a detective, and more like an assembly line
 fast food worker. Because that is what capitalism knowns how to do, not because
 it provides higher quality care. It doesn't matter if the hospital is for
 profit or not - they both run on dollars.
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 -> file: messages/1476
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 Doctors don't deal with money. Who do? Administrators and insurance salesmen.
 Doctors make people healthy. I hear there aren't enough of them. Are other
 places with more doctors more healthy? How is our national diet? Are we
 sleeping enough? How are we doing in workschool, does it feel like we can't
 even keep up? Stressful I bet.
 
 ... I'm sleepy, goodnight ...zzzZZZzzz...
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 -> file: messages/1477
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 They trust me in Colorado. At least, they did at the time I left. If you don't
 trust me, ask them if you should trust me.
 
 This only sometimes works. But sometimes it works. Rarely, a person will be
 mistrusted without being aware of it. If they know you asked at home and they
 know you still don't trust them, they'll lose hope. This despondency is an
 indicator of honesty, especially if they're not known anywhere else.
 
 The Internet makes this weird though. I should spend some time offline.
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 -> file: messages/1478
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 If you can build a deathstar, it's probably a good idea to build two. Because
 if you can build a deathstar, odds are there's something out there than can
 build one too, and maybe some day they're going to try and kill some of your
 stars. So you need at least two, to better contest them should that day come.
 
 Oh, and, if you can't guarantee that the deathstar or two won't be used against
 your own people, then you can't build a death star yet. It doesn't need
 engineering limitations preventing it from such - it's okay if they're just
 social of some sort. The purpose of such a thing is to defend against external
 threats, which is why we have nukes to fight aliens or demons or dinosaur
 ghosts or [other things that surprise us] and not to fight ourselves. Because
 if we nuke Alderaan, then we'll never get it back.
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 -> file: messages/1479
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 When the rules are made for a system that is struggling with insufficient
 resources, they will make compromises that typically cause harm or don't
 fulfill needs completely.
 
 The problem is the insufficient resources. If the problem is upstream, then it
 should be addressed upstream, until all of the needs of the downstream resource
 utilization services are fully supplied.
 
 Then, the rules should be updated to account for the sufficient supply. If they
 are still limited, they should be labelled as such, and it should be considered
 virtuous (temperance) to use only what you need, neutral to use as much as you
 want, and sinful (gluttony) to use as much as you can.
 
 It's okay to sin a little. Especially on accident or in a frenzy. But be sure
 to calm down, and spend some time with the opposite virtue to counteract it.
 Ideally more time.
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 -> file: messages/1480
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 I need to move out.
 
 I need to find my people.
 
 I don't know where they are.
 
 Wherever I look I see strangers. Nowhere do I see people like me. It's been
 like this my whole life.
 
 Where do I belong? Please don't say the underworld.
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 -> file: messages/1481
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 From my perspective, the pace of the revolution that was in America has slowed
 significantly. We're in an equilibrium where things are... Fine enough? That
 people aren't interested in developing more. And our enemies, the state or what
 oppressive instruments are levied against the people, are distracted or gazing
 apprehensively in our direction. Or maybe other directions, it's hard to tell.
 
 I know many "next steps" we could take, but all of them require people to be
 motivated. And when things are "fine enough", people aren't motivated. I think
 we can use this time to identify people who are fighting just because they want
 to fight, and differentiate them from the idealists, who are what successful
 revolutions are made of. If ideals guide you, then they will be your compass
 pointing toward what your people believe. The people fight for what they
 believe, so idealists at the helm lead to better long-term solutions.
 
 If you have belligerent combatants leading, or comprising the largest portion
 of your movement, then you may be more successful (as in, able to deal more
 damage and maintain more energy as you struggle) but the end result is likely
 to degrade and / or ossify into something unlike what you set out to do. People
 will feel betrayed, and start to feel that the worst is yet to come. This is a
 failure state. Cherish the idealists.
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 -> file: messages/1482
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 I'd like to create a list of things that can be done next. It's highly context
 dependent. What are the problems that are in your sphere of control (what can
 you personally contribute toward guiding to success) and what should you be
 aware of that's outside of that sphere? Start there.
 
 Then, think about what you have. For example, if you live in a suburb, treat
 that suburb as your sphere of control. You have other spheres, like the
 internet, or places you visit away from home, but focus on one at a time.
 Eventually, stitch them together, but for now, focus on one at a time.
 
 So, let's say you live in a suburb. What you have are houses, people who live
 in them, yards, domestic pets, grass, trees, roads, busses, shopping malls both
 large and small, infrastructure like water pipes and electric grids and
 Internet connections, hospitals, grocery stores, warehouses full of goods like
 clothes and electronics and pet supplies and... Other things. You have fast
 food restaurants, bars, post offices, pharmacies, used car salesmen, churches,
 schools... The list goes on. Think of what you have, and think about how to
 solve problems they might have, focusing first on the people and expanding from
 there.
 
 The most people-first problems are things like, how does the food get
 delivered? "currently, people spend dollars at the store and take it home. Or,
 they eat at restaurants." okay, that's what I'd say. Next, think about the
 problems that have already been solved to enable that, and then think of
 alternative solutions that move you towards the goal state, which depends on
 what you believe. Virtues and values, not ideology.
 
 "the food has to get to the shelves. It's first grown in Mexico, then shipped
 to America, then put into the cabbage bin. In America, we take vegetables from
 the wandering trucks (with set routes) and give them dollars (probably?). Then
 we put them on the shelves. For processed goods, an extra step lies between
 where the trucks go to a factory, are processed, and then the factory sends a
 truck to the grocery store."
 
 Next, think about what could change to move you toward the end-state that
 maximizes the values you have. Maximization isn't always the most important
 thing, because sometimes compromises are required or desired. But when conflict
 arises between two solutions, if they are mutually compatible you can
 compromise by throwing more resources at them and seeing if one is more
 preferred than the other. Always assume more resources are available, because
 we live in the future. A fragile future to be sure, but durability and
 sustainability are both values I think are important, so my advice is to
 optimize toward those when possible.
 
 "if Mexico stops bringing food trucks, we will have fewer goods to feed our
 people." that's a problem, how do you solve it?
 
 "if China stops their sweatshops, our warehouses will have fewer clothes for
 our people to wear." that's a problem, how do you solve it?
 
 "if the post office stops delivering to our autonomous zone, we won't be able
 to buy things from Amazon" that's a problem, how do you solve it?
 
 There are many problems. I think an important problem that my city has
 pioneered solutions to is in the realm of community. If people don't feel
 enmeshed or invested in the world around them, they won't care enough to strive
 for it. Nations are a primitive solution to this, but we can do better. Gangs
 and mafias are parallel power structures (structure is a strong word for it)
 that exist alongside other structures like nations. You don't need structure to
 have parallel power, is what they show, but in my experience that power is
 always only ever power over and woven through their own people, and less so
 power to project beyond. Churches are another example - you don't have to
 believe to attend a church, but if you don't then it hurts the idealists among
 them. Spirituality is important and if you lose it then you lose the idealism
 of being fragile humans who exist in a larger context - do you really want to
 be apes on a rock in a void of nothing? Not ideal.
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 -> file: messages/1483
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 "idea lists, menardi. That's what we need. Lists."
 
 Okay sorry it's not like you can just check a box and fill out a form and
 expect a civilization to spring forth.
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 -> file: messages/1484
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 I should have more faith. People are there, they're just in low key mode.
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 -> file: messages/1485
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 I was such a different person a year ago. And I was twice as different two
 years ago. Throughout it all, I am connected by the thread of my life, and I
 could be those people again, if only the context would present itself.
 
 Who was I when I met you? Eh I think I'll be this way today. The clothes make
 the man, and I wear a hat.
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 -> file: messages/1486
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 "we are going to save the lives of everyone." - nectome
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 -> file: messages/1487
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 I am not interested in being hidden underground. I'm going to pray that one day
 we don't have to. That day is hopefully very soon. I have hope because I see it
 - I see the hope right in front of me. My girlfriend wants to end graveyards.
 I'm so proud of her, and I wish we had more hours to talk about it. But we
 don't. Dear messages-to-myself: her mission is pure. If this approach doesn't
 work, she'll find a new way to do it. Her approach works, so, trust her.
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 -> file: messages/1488
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 "what are you doing?" doxxing myself. If she wanted to save as many lives as
 possible, she'd do it in a shed. She's been tricked into doing it for the money
 by people who don't want to die in a warehouse. That's valid, but they aren't
 giving her money anyway.
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 -> file: messages/1489
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 "how much money do you need?" she needs a couple million dollars. This is a
 reasonable amount for starting a business. It is completely unreasonable for
 revolutionizing the human conception of life and death, and kickstarting the
 field of transhumanism.
 
 What she's offering is a ticket to join the future in the future. It's a way to
 preserve the physical aspects of a person's form, like a one-time clone that
 has all the memories and behavior patterns of the original. If the soul exists,
 there are some additional problems to be solved, but we need to be able to find
 out before we can plan around it.
 
 Her method works. It does what she says it does. I see no reason why it
 wouldn't fulfill the promises she makes. My only question and reservation is
 about the soul, but, I think the first step to figuring it out is to create a
 way to test it.
 
 First, create the torment nexus. Next, listen for a psychic wail.
 
 Okay, Hitler, we get that you want to test for the existence of god by burning
 enough souls to light a fire big enough to be seen from heaven, but, such
 things go both ways, and all you've really done is galvanized the Americans and
 fundamentally altered the culture of Europe.
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 -> file: messages/1490
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 The scariest thing in medieval Europe was seeing a kid with a knife. They're
 fast and they don't know enough to care.
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 -> file: messages/1491
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 I care about revolution. I care about liberation. It's critical to me!
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 -> file: messages/1492
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 I haven't been doing weed lately, which is why I haven't been posting as much.
 I want to be in a good position mentally to, idk, get a job or something? I
 swore I wouldn't, but I also swore to protect my art, and they don't want me
 here. What else can I do? I can't live with my parents or my sisters. I can't
 live with any of my exes. I can't live with randos who support me because,
 well, I'm doing that now, and they don't want me. Where would I even find
 people like that? I walk around Portland and I see people who are hardened.
 This makes sense to me. But I am soft, by design. I am soft so that they may be
 hard, and though I long to join them I cannot, for I must get stoned and write.
 I swore an oath. Yet somehow getting a job is the same thing? Like, it's pretty
 hard for me to get a job. Easy to work, hard to be employed. Can't do weed
 because it requires my full attention, yet I need to in order to build the
 foundations of a new faith. So the question is, do I work and get my own place,
 but not do weed and instead just write when I can (not as much), or do I try
 and power through where I'm at and trust that they won't poison me or kick me
 out? I think... I need to wait. I need to not do weed for now. So, I am going
 to work. But it won't be for someone else. How can I make money doing work,
 when it's my own work? If I could sell everything I made, I would have a
 fortune. I could bankroll a revolution if they paid a fair price. But selling
 it is the hard part... (I say that without pride or hubris - I legitimately
 believe that I have created a Great Work, and am continuing to add to it) so?
 How do I get my own place? The house I live in is free to me, I legitimately do
 love my girlfriend who I live with, but I am still in a tenuous position. I
 want to be alone so I can... Well, it's hard to take care of myself. I want to
 be alone so I can... Well, it's hard to be lonesome. I want to be alone so I
 can... Well, it's hard to get out of bed when you're going right to the
 computer.
 
 Maybe I don't want to be alone. Maybe I want to live in a house that loves me.
 The one that I'm in is haunted by a spirit that doesn't like it when I
 masturbate, which is... Okay. What if I ended all my poems like this?
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 -> file: messages/1493
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 Okay, well, one of them likes me. : )
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 -> file: messages/1494
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 There's not much to say about Iran until something changes... Either we do a
 land invasion, which would be quite an investment of lives and material, or we
 back down after being faced with intense international backlash, and let the
 Iranian people (who are not soldiers) die for their liberation. Not ideal, I'd
 prefer if they live through it. Only through life can you steer the course of a
 nation - death brings nothing but misery for those you leave behind.
 
 "and what if the enemies die? Is that not a good thing?" death is never good,
 it's just a thing that happens when we lose things. When they break. In some
 cases like this, there is a part of the whole that is harming the rest - like a
 thorn in fabric, tearing away the fluff and softness. So, we must remove the
 thorn.
 
 Right now that removal is essentially a protracted bombing campaign. This is
 great for levelling the playing field, but it can only get so level - the
 Iranian people don't have guns, and you can't bomb guns out of the hands of
 their oppressors. So, either supply the guns (with instructions, ammo, and
 related supplies) while trusting that they won't fall into enemy hands...
 (drone drops on roofs?) or go in and do the dirty work yourself.
 
 The optimal path I see is a mixture of both, where the Americans take up the
 role that the militias they resist had in the past. Claim the mountains near
 the cities, and arrest any attempts to approach. Let civilians through, and arm
 / train them continuously while they are there. Then, organize them into
 groups, and use them with the aid of intel and tactical knowledge to reclaim
 their homeland. Along the way, teach them about what it means to have a good,
 peaceful civic society, but focus less on politics and economics and more on
 human rights, liberty, and self determination. Help them to know how to knit
 together communities when the war is done. Teach them the way of war and peace
 at once. Then, use them to reclaim their homeland, and they will be stronger
 for it. They will come out of the struggle a determined people, instead of as
 they are now, which is afraid and hopeful.
                                                           
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