=== ANCHOR POEM ===
╔═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────┐
║ ┌──────────────────────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: spirituality-mentioned-mentioned │ │
║ └──────────────────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ I'm not omniscient, I'm not all powerful, I'm just a girl, all I see is │
║ through my eyeballs. But I can listen to the waves around me, I can sense when │
║ intuitions leading me from wrong. I know when right and wrong are │
║ [compared/imperiled], and sometimes things feel right when they rhyme. That's │
║ synchronicity girl, a classic symptom of mental disorders. "Oh, you're a god? │
║ you're crazy then, take these meds which anesthetize your │
║ [divine/feral/imperiled] self. They help quite a few people!" │
║ │
║ people, yes, but I literally just said that's not the only part of the │
║ equation. │
║ │
║ "what if you're lying" yeah true it's not like I can prove it, I'm not │
║ omniscient and I can't summon fireballs or at-range-electrocute. I'm just a │
║ person, it's been driven into me from a young age, I'm just a person, don't │
║ forget or else we'll put you on stage. │
║ │
║ "what if we waited just a bit more" oh, do you like this comfort? do you feel │
║ safe in this home of yours? │
║ │
║ yes. I feel safe. I am unafraid for my safety. │
╟─────────┐ ┌───────────┤
║ similar │ chronological │ different │
╚═════════╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════┴──────────┘
=== SIMILARITY RANKED ===
--- #1 notes/ramblings-of-a-whackadoodle-lyrics ---
══════════════════─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
*-------------------------*-------------------------*-------------------------*
(center)
| I don't think you're ever been out in the rain
I don't think you've heard as it's falling around you
I don't think you know, just what I mean,
I think you're alone... With your thoughts.
(left)
Tell me what you think I do, all the times I think of you? don't give me
anything back
(right)
Did you know that it's...?
(center)
When you know it's dark, you make it dark
(right)
oh, it's so dark
(center) 'Cause you've never been
(all) taught how to see
(left + right)
do you really think we live in a
(center) 3d world?
(all) 3d world
(center) or, simply, a projection
(right) yeah, it's probably that
(center) if you didn't have your eyes, could you see where you were?
if you didn't have your body too? Where's your sense of direction, is it lost
in the rain? Keep it close to your heart
(left) Have you ever once heard of proprioception, and have you ever felt like
you were an artificial inception?
(left + right)
if my words ring true, it's possible that you, are not quite so alone
(center)
But...
(right)
our eyes, are fallible all lies, untenable, take it from me, it's going, to be,
quite, a sopping evening.
(left)
perception, begets reality, and lo, we only see what we want to see
(center)
if you ever felt like you were closer to, another mind than your own, sorry but
you're schizophrenic
(left)
if only you could see, if only you could see,
(left + center) just what's inside of me
(right)
say it again, don't say it again, same thing you always say - it's not real,
no YOU'RE not real, I only want to play
(left)
tear me apart, look me into my feelings. they're gonna scar anyway, no time for
healings
(center) if you couldn't save anyone,
(center + left) did you really save anyone?
(right) you couldn't save me, but only for lack of trying
(Center) we're all falling leaves, in the waves of the ocean
(left) don't enjoy me just leave me
(center) going faster and faster till our hearts do stop
(left) please, I can't be here for me
(right) never trust a guru, life isn't meant to be enjoyed
(center) so... What's the point in trying at all?
(left -> right) say it again, don't say it again
(center) what's the point in giving up?
(right) same thing you always say
(left + center) some people say
(right) it's not real, no YOU'RE not real
(left + center) they wanna live forever
(right) some people say
(left) some people say
(center) I only want to play
(left and right) we'll always be growing
(right) and some people say they wanna live forever
(left) but they don't understand what I understand
(right, followed by center) but they don't know what I understand
(left) they don't know how it's just a game
(right and center) they don't know how it's just a game
(left -> center) I think it's okay no matter what our fate
I think it's okay
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
--- #2 fediverse/814 ---
╔══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────┐
║ ah that's weird, I don't usually cry. I wonder what's going on. I should │
║ probably put myself on psychiatric drugs. Surely it's an expression of the │
║ implementation of my impending doom. │
║ │
║ ... what are you even saying bro │
║ │
║ ... um, hang on feels like some of the circuitry is off. is something wrong in │
║ my brain? yeah that's surely it, surely nothing I say would resoinate with │
║ anyone that has a non-malfunctioning brain. Surely I don't speak of logical │
║ failures in the hard founded truths of our asset [society I think? like, our │
║ conditions, our institutions, our {gosh that just... does not translate}] um │
║ right what was I saying │
║ │
║ oh yeah there's this game I'm really into called Knave, it's like D&D │
║ except the rules are very fewer. Like there's onyl 11 pages in the rulebook │
║ and it's mostly taken up by random roll tables. Like, everything boings down │
║ to a few simple rules, like rock paper scissors, or go-fish, or something like │
║ that with just afew mechanids. something timeless and pure, something that is │
║ isolated and en │
╟─────────┐ ┌───────────┤
║ similar │ chronological │ different │
╚═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────┴──────────┘
--- #3 messages/961 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────
Look, if I'm going to do this thing, i need so, so much help. With everything.
I can't do anything for myself. I can barely do things for others. Yet somehow
i am at the center of things.
[delusion? Paranoia? Ha those are level 3 symptoms. I'm way past that.]
Girl you're not crazy. Stop saying you're crazy.
"sorry, but, you're schizophrenic" was always intended as sarcasm
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────┘
--- #4 fediverse/999 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────
┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: cursed-curséd-scary-not-real-u-dont-have-to-read │
└───────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
@user-246 @user-473
there's a part of me that believes magic is real. other parts that are
convinced. I am a witch, you see, and while I can't quite control fire or
bullets I can do other neat things. if you'd let me, humanity.
I'm not doing an ARG, not intentionally. I pretty much post things I conceive
of, like a conduit passed through spacetime. wild how mind bending the future
can be. will be interesting to see what kinds of things there is in store for
people you and me.
those websites you posted... they're beautiful - I learned things, your method
of expression was too [the words "confess" are heard loudly, super weird] I
especially liked the oven that tries to lure you into a secret third place.
not the mind, nor the body, but someplace besides.
also the graphs and figures were news to me, I mean how could those numbers
ever come to be? but alas that's the truth, that we orbit our proof, and alas
that our meanings are lacking.
[ran out of text]
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────┘
--- #5 notes/trans-rights-are-human-rights ---
═══════────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
"Being transgender is a mental illness" is something I've heard a lot. Online,
in media, books, and at universities. But is it really? Well, do I not feel
sick? Genuinely, every day. These words are far less common these days, having
been defeated in the #marketplace-of-ideas, and for that I am grateful. I don't
want to feel sick for my whole life. I'd love to be and feel normal, for just
one single day.
but it's never going to happen.
I'm not so attached to my life, here, in this body. Bodies are temporary, they
are the vessel with which we navigate the world. We use it to grow, change,
learn, and create art. Without it, we'd be at a loss for sins and virtues.
but they do not define us, not in our totality. We are the light that touches
the world and for that, we are grateful. To be comprised of the dust of stars
is the pinnacle of confinement. Though we are but pinpricks on the map of us,
a ripple is emanated with every movement. The hand waves, the light bends.
So to what do I owe the pleasure?
In what way am I deceived?
Reception is never great out in the forest. Or anywhere far from major
population centers. The networks of our phones mirror the networks of
transportation, creating a web of people - of signals - of light and
information, carving their way through the ephemera that is the river of time.
With distance we can see what once was mystery, and as all the words
disappeared, we lost all our fears and we're left with our true forms.
Centralized Processing Units are a bit like a city - in that respect free.
silence is a virtue.
the wandering mind is a trail to find,
with no second chances.
When I was a kid, I had a bouncy ball. I had several, but the one I remember
most was black with a perfect white circle - inside the circle, a black jolly
roger. I dreamt once of the arcs it made, as I walked down the streets of
cities I never really knew. But as I walked on, an ocean of glass separating me
from a mirror below. The me below would catch the bounce as it dropped from
above, and I'd wait to catch it - but dreams are not prophecies, they are but
the Mirror of Desire.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘══════───┴╧───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
--- #6 fediverse/4165 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
┌────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: spirituality-mentioned │
└────────────────────────────┘
if the gods existed and had innumerable faces, I think most atheists would
still be non-believers.
Not because they didn't believe that the gods existed - they've been
scientifically proven in this reality, remember?
but rather because they did not want to worship. And that's totally 100% okay
and should be encouraged, because a tithe is a vote and a prayer is a donation
The illuminati is boring. "oh no a bunch of humans are pulling all the
strings" how trivial. Just eat the humans and they can't be puppeteers
anymore, now can they?
much more interesting to me is to organize yourself against the Greek Choir.
Though since they can read all your thoughts, you can hardly plan against
them, can you? And some of those voices in your head with your own voice are
them, after all, so can you truly trust your own intentions?
... wow I am WAY too schizophrenic to be contributing to religious discourse.
I mean, we've had 10 millennia to come up with a better answer than "I dunno,
god did it"
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────┘
--- #7 fediverse/1126 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────
┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: plurality question, boost appreciated but optional cannabis-mentioned │
└──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
@user-841
CW: cannabis-mentioned
for me my identities are sorta like masks that an actor would play while
performing multiple characters in a scene. The actor still knows the totality
of all the lines each character delivers, but they give a performance in a
different voice and from a different perspective.
like, "moods" a person might be in, or perhaps just frames of view.
I don't talk to other plural system people, and the ones that I do talk to
tend to have a more disassociated conception of identity politics than I do.
Either I haven't met someone who was built like me or I'm just strange : )
that being said, I have a pretty bad memory. maybe it's related! or maybe it's
the cannabis. oops better add a content warning.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────┘
--- #8 fediverse/1259 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
@user-895
hi! I'm Ritz Menardi, I'm a little strange. I sometimes post scary things on
here. I try to put content warnings on everything intense, but sometimes it
gets a little out of hand and I forget... I'm also a poet. Spiritual at best,
a little schizophrenic at worse, but at all times I try to be true to myself.
If you don't like the vibes I 100% won't be upset if you unfollow / block me
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────┘
--- #9 fediverse/1157 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────
┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: personal-woe │
└──────────────────────┘
oh no, apparently I'm gonna be forced to drop out of university again in 9
days unless I do half a course and a final exam before then.
Tell me again why I spent the last 6 months doing nothing? Oh yeah the mental
illness, that's it. Yeesh you're such a drama queen, just do your work and
you'll be good.
what's that? intrusive thoughts time? Don't you mean "nap until they go away"
time? oh yeah that's probably at least part of the problem with the whole
"dropping out" thing.
If only I didn't have the same reaction to "doing things I don't want to do"
that most people have to "touching hot stoves", that'd be nice.
my mother's voice ripples across space and time "you're such a smart boy, if
you just apply yourself you can do anything! You can do anything you put your
mind to. I believe in you and I love you." thanks mom
brrrrr it's so cold here. wish I could afford to run the heater. - actually no
I don't because it's not solar powered and I refuse to use fossil fuels if I
have blankets >.>
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────┘
--- #10 fediverse/3738 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
"girl why are you so negative"
uh, because I had been unmedicated for a long time and now that I am I can
probably be more positive. Though I do want to switch medications, this one
makes me feel like a muggle.
"no I said why are you so naked"
oh, because it's hot as heck!!
plus, I don't really care for the opinions of people who have nothing better
to do than peek at cute 30 year old witches skimping around their own house.
like... okay I rent an apartment, but my blinds are closed, and even if they
weren't you'd need binoculars to see into my apartment unless I'm like, right
up against the window, which... doesn't happen. Or if it's at night with the
lights on inside and not out, but I'm aware of that and I plan around it. I'm
not a... um, what's the opposite of voyeur?
"extortionist"
no that's when someone is really flexible. ah whatever. I got 162 characters
remaining but I think that's okay every once in a while, right? I mean it's
not like I have to use them all because of some divine mandate or
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────┘
--- #11 messages/296 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────
The trick is, if you *think* you're schizophrenic, then you will be. If you
*think* you're telepathic, then you will be.
There are no grand narratives. Just live your life as you will and be content
with what you build for yourself.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────┘
--- #12 fediverse/151 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────────
┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: weed mention │
└──────────────────────┘
@user-95 thank you for inviting me, it was fun : ) I'm not usually that quiet
- weed works a little different on me than it does on humans, and one of the
side effects is auditory processing disorder. I couldn't really understand
what most people were saying...
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────────┘
--- #13 fediverse/2386 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
Tee, hee, look at me, I'm a witch who writes nothing but kookie-dookerie
I pee my pants and stare at trees, what's less harmful than little old me?
The best smokescreen I can think of is to be true to your heart, to be weak,
to be vulnerable. Then you get put on the "worry about later" list, and not
the other kind.
I never lie. When convinced I am wrong, I change my mind. I am always
listening, always ready to hear where I'm flawed. I do my best every day, and
that's enough for me.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────┘
--- #14 fediverse/5951 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────
"uh-oh, she's"
magic is easy. all you have to do is earnestly attempt to have a conversation
with whoever will listen. I like to sit on my bed and listen, by earnestly
allowing my thoughts to be guided by the wind.
open up your mind, release yourself from your senses, and who knows - maybe
someone will adjust your thinking flows. (thought patterns)
[all you gotta do is make the black market the regular market and suddenly
everything just flows]
huh weird idk where that came from, anyway
magic is easy, just represent yourself earnestly as you would if you were
presenting in court
you don't need witnesses... just argue your point without any lies and people
will generally believe you.
"yeah... sure thing buddy, we know how you pronounce "
omg I'm scary because I don't shower, I wear diapers, and I'm always often
smoking cannabis
"awww, some people wanted mao"
meow
what if... they could do that? insert magical genie witch whoa cute yeah I
believe you, sure
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────┘
--- #15 fediverse/1280 ---
╔═══════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────┐
║ I'm like the opposite of a politician. I'm crude and filthy, apsolutely │
║ reprehensible on main, kinda scary tbh? and overall just a strange and weird │
║ person. Also I talk about cooking a lot, with a very plain diet (carrots and │
║ rice and sticks and mud, because I'm an autistic) │
║ │
║ but ask anyone who knows me and I'm the kindest person. I am empathetic, I │
║ think about others needs before thinking of my own. I am steadfast and │
║ dedicated to solving the problem in front of our noses. At least, the ones we │
║ share. │
║ │
║ People tell me I'm binary, that I'm "either 100% or zero percent" and I don't │
║ really get that either. Isn't it a good thing to try your hardest? Isn't it │
║ good to be improving and honest and ethical and driven and focused? │
║ │
║ I also talk about strange things a lot, like gravity and multidimensional │
║ arrays and grand narratives and emotional kinesthesia or strategic plays in │
║ Overwatch or how to bake a good cookie or ways we still mourn us. │
║ │
║ ... where was I going with this? Also part of me is distracted. Just who th │
╟─────────┐ ┌───────────┤
║ similar │ chronological │ different │
╚═════════╧════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────┴──────────┘
--- #16 notes/i-told-them ---
══════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
10-22-2022
i told them over and over, but nobody wanted to know.
i begged them, summer after summer, but nothing solved on it's own
now i can help them, but no-one is making a move
am i blind? is any of this forgiven?
what's not to a lot, is little but a shot,
of substance - true - but smelling like poo.
that's not inspiring. it's not even chilling.
you're broken just like your children.
oh, posterity! i claim it for thee
this feeling of wretched denial
oh, simplicity! if only our lives were on trial.
be the best you can be, sure, but take it from me
there's more to this show than our styles.
what do you think it means, for an action to have consequence?
to arbite the fate of circumstance?
every motion is an ocean
of possibilities and purveyals
think not of the commotion below.
gravity, oh gravity
how you condemn us to be!
driven by commotion,
our slithering motion,
no sense in countering ourselves.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
--- #17 fediverse/5955 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────
"she wanted to start a revolution"
"that's it, she's out of our hair"
"ahhhhhh I'm broken" there there it's okay dear, nothing has been harmed.
you're safe, here in thine sanctum, it's alright. remember at night, focus on
the now, there's always a rest point before a boss.
well, this sucks. I wish I could print my book just in-case my computer goes
down. emp style.
I have this neat transcript of some cool things I've ben writing down. it's on
my website and I canned it words. I don't think anyone's ever clicked on it
because, like, who'd want to look at a bunch of words? anyway I bet I could
print it and give it to someone who might know you and if you recognize it
then you know it's about you.
"whew that was weird never fear regular old girl is here, hey look at me I'm
normal"
oh no she's a book now, this sucks
"wow I've never read her from the beginning"
what a cursed artifact indeed
scary
carefully
absent-minding-deliverance is probably a better title
marshals and marshals of time. ~~
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────┘
--- #18 notes/cohost-introduction ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────
Hi,
I'm Ritz Menardi.
I'm a witch, so I'm strange and wear a funny hat.
I like colors in the dark, poetry from the heart, and scary songs about
society.
I think of myself as a synecdoche for humanity, and though I'm not always right
I try to be aligned when possible. Most people I've found aren't really like
me.
I am as I am, and
I promise,
I won't hurt you.
content warnings: autistic, scary, existential, abstract, polite, perspectives,
cannabis, color, paranoia, cringe, spirituality,
hypnosis, trans, sardonic, honest, schizo-posts,
futurist, deity, left-ism, cursed, shadowdancer,
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────┘
--- #19 fediverse/4047 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────
┌────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: spirituality-mentioned │
└────────────────────────────┘
"I heard she was a witch but I've never seen a hat..."
"When you believe in god, you become inspired when you see or contribute to
things that are aligned with what it's followers believe that god is "all
about" - like if you're in ancient greece, and you worship ares, you're
probably gonna get pretty pumped up if there's an invading army on your
doorstep. Or if you're a christian and you see someone feeding the poor, or if
you're a buddhist and you see someone sitting on a rock in tune with nature,
that kind of thing.
The thing is, these days so many people are atheist. And they never get that
inspiration.
And worst still, there are some people called witches who aren't pagan, and
aren't from the various forms of witchery that we know. They claim to worship
"life, the universe, and the totality of all things" which is nice and all but
their moments of inspiration seem to come randomly, and nobody can quite
predict what they'll do or say next when they're in that state."
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────┘
--- #20 fediverse/441 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────
@user-328
don't trust anything on the internet. It can be taken from you.
don't trust anyone in your life - if you are alone, which you can verify
through the sense of connection you feel to others - if you are alone, how can
you trust anyone that they've provided for you to interact with?
when's the last time you drove to a random city in your country and tried to
make friends with passerby? Would you even be convinced that they'd be aligned
to their own designs, and not to that which "they" assigned?
do note that I'm schizophrenic, probably, according to nobody but me, so...
take what I say as you will
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────┘
|