=== ANCHOR POEM ===
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┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: weed mention │
└──────────────────────┘
@user-95 thank you for inviting me, it was fun : ) I'm not usually that quiet
- weed works a little different on me than it does on humans, and one of the
side effects is auditory processing disorder. I couldn't really understand
what most people were saying...
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=== SIMILARITY RANKED ===
--- #1 fediverse/164 ---
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┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: recreational slash medicinal drugs and neurodiversity musing │
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@user-141 when I smoke cannabis it's like my ADHD symptoms drop to zero and my
autism symptoms go from 50% to 100%
I can't understand what other people are saying unless I ask for
clarification, but I sure as shit know the shape of the universe and can
fathom the chaotic ripples of causality and eternity. Too bad when I try and
talk about it all that comes out is "desu desu"
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--- #2 fediverse/5374 ---
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@user-138
me neither... guess it's in-person for me.
[a mysterious "they" then proceeds to set up microphones everywhere I might go]
ah nuts why are all these people carrying phones around
[they already know who I am, and I don't really want to be someone else, so]
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--- #3 messages/169 ---
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Sorry for my behavior. I am an undiagnosed scizophrenic, so I'm wrestling with
metaphorical demons. Sorry for attempting to interact with society, I get a
little lonely sometimes.
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--- #4 fediverse/4543 ---
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@user-1698
Ha that does sound pretty "fun" - I take it you aren't a pianist?
I smell bad because... reasons... so I am always hyper-aware of myself when
I'm in situations like that. The idea that I might ruin someone's day by being
there terrifies me.
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--- #5 fediverse/169 ---
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@user-95 one of the most empathetic people I ever met on VR chat was consoling
me with their mic off while I was oversharing about some stupid things people
did to me in the past. things that stupid me thought were okay and actively
encouraged because I was stupid. anyway when their mic was off their body
language spoke for them. I'll try that next time.
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--- #6 fediverse/4024 ---
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my cat doesn't know that my family is my family. She thinks they're just some
other people who visit the house.
but they're special to me, as all people are, and I think she takes notice.
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--- #7 fediverse/508 ---
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@user-367 @user-366 @user-246 @user-353
Sorry. I'm (probably) schizophrenic so I say weird things sometimes.
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--- #8 fediverse/2143 ---
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@user-1171
"gee I never hear from you how would I know that if people like you didn't say
something valuable and important like this"an appreciative someone
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--- #9 messages/140 ---
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Remind me again why we need computers that are so mind numbingly fast that we
can't possibly hope to understand their entire stack?
Oh yeah, so we aren't able to understand their stack. How could I forget.
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--- #10 fediverse/1251 ---
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@user-889
it sounds like you're having a real tough time. : (
you can get through it, I know you can. On the other side is something warm
and safe, but to get there it's going to be hard and painful. I don't know
exactly what you're working with but if you want someone to talk to about it
you can message me.
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--- #11 fediverse/5763 ---
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║ ┌──────────────────────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: spirituality-mentioned-mentioned │ │
║ └──────────────────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ I'm not omniscient, I'm not all powerful, I'm just a girl, all I see is │
║ through my eyeballs. But I can listen to the waves around me, I can sense when │
║ intuitions leading me from wrong. I know when right and wrong are │
║ [compared/imperiled], and sometimes things feel right when they rhyme. That's │
║ synchronicity girl, a classic symptom of mental disorders. "Oh, you're a god? │
║ you're crazy then, take these meds which anesthetize your │
║ [divine/feral/imperiled] self. They help quite a few people!" │
║ │
║ people, yes, but I literally just said that's not the only part of the │
║ equation. │
║ │
║ "what if you're lying" yeah true it's not like I can prove it, I'm not │
║ omniscient and I can't summon fireballs or at-range-electrocute. I'm just a │
║ person, it's been driven into me from a young age, I'm just a person, don't │
║ forget or else we'll put you on stage. │
║ │
║ "what if we waited just a bit more" oh, do you like this comfort? do you feel │
║ safe in this home of yours? │
║ │
║ yes. I feel safe. I am unafraid for my safety. │
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--- #12 fediverse/2806 ---
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┌────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: politics-social-media-spirituality │
└────────────────────────────────────────┘
pretend this is an allegory for social media.
[it's not an allegory]
yeah that's why I said pretend.
okay imagine that you are sitting in a rock in a forest.
far away, about 100 feet away, there are other people, but you can't see them
because the underbrush is sooooo dense. they are also sitting on rocks.
you can speak to them, and share your thoughts - but you don't know exactly
where they're coming from because the sound has to bounce around off so many
different plants and such.
[that's not how that works] shut up
so, if you want to say anything important, it's important to have the right
tone, because people 2 or 3 clearings away can't really make out your words -
but they might hear your tone if you yell very loud.
the energy of the space you inhabit is the only thing that really matters. the
words that you say are just snickering to a friend, but the expression on your
face, the beating of the drum of your heart that reaches forth... that's what
matters most.
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--- #13 fediverse/3975 ---
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@user-1631
for most of my life... [okay still do]... but it felt like I had different
moods, and depending on how I felt at the time I would act differently.
I forget the things that happen when I'm in a different mood, but I've gotten
to a point where I can generally force myself to stay a certain "mood" while
in certain contexts, and in doing so I can remember everything.
downside is I get burnt out pretty easily if I'm always the same. It's not
ideal.
... anyway if you talk about what you experience then your friends can point
you toward people who "get" you.
like, my parts don't have names, we don't have a group chat or whatever, it's
just... me, but different shades of me.
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--- #14 fediverse/2656 ---
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people who like you
or at least are interested in what you have to say
versus public, which is people who can hear you (because they happened to be
listening at that time of day)
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--- #15 fediverse/1126 ---
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┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: plurality question, boost appreciated but optional cannabis-mentioned │
└──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
@user-841
CW: cannabis-mentioned
for me my identities are sorta like masks that an actor would play while
performing multiple characters in a scene. The actor still knows the totality
of all the lines each character delivers, but they give a performance in a
different voice and from a different perspective.
like, "moods" a person might be in, or perhaps just frames of view.
I don't talk to other plural system people, and the ones that I do talk to
tend to have a more disassociated conception of identity politics than I do.
Either I haven't met someone who was built like me or I'm just strange : )
that being said, I have a pretty bad memory. maybe it's related! or maybe it's
the cannabis. oops better add a content warning.
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--- #16 fediverse/4483 ---
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instead of reading the room, I try to be the room. I think that's part of
being autistic.
But it also helps things get going.
Whenever I see a subpost that might relate to me, I take it seriously, so feel
free to boost things that you know I'll read if you'd like to speak to me.
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--- #17 fediverse/5292 ---
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you can trust me, but please don't rely on me, for all of my power is soft.
sometimes people just don't want to do what I tell them to, and I wouldn't
have it any other way.
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--- #18 fediverse_boost/5333 ---
◀─╔═════════════════════════════[BOOST]══════════════════════════════────────────╗
║ ┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐ ║
║ │ Overheard at the lab: “I don’t understand why people do drugs when they could be doing operating systems research instead.” │ ║
║ └────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ ║
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--- #19 fediverse/1801 ---
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people call me "hypervigilant" as if being constantly aware is not a normal
state for them.
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--- #20 fediverse/1627 ---
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it's easy to mistakenly mis-hear things that sound similar in their contrasted
grammar context.
I like to say "understood." when I understand something that someone's telling
me, because all of the contrasts to that statement (like "I don't understand"
or "can you explain more about X as it relates to Y? etc) are different in
pronunciation and structure. Meaning it's much easier to "get" the intended
message just based through sound-patterns. Great for people who are only
half-listening because they're thinking about something really hard and aren't
thinking about what you're saying as much. Great for describing problems and
getting assistance as you both sorta mentally-puzzle through it to a solution.
... and they say debug isn't solved HA
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--- #21 fediverse/2381 ---
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I smile at each and every person I pass on the street. Unless it looks like
they're having a bad day, and then I try to switch to neutral as fast as I can
so they can feel their feelings without me interjecting and making it about me.
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--- #22 fediverse/788 ---
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┌─────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: ADHD, metacognition │
└─────────────────────────────┘
@user-95
{ah but you see when they say "attention" they mean "paying attention to me,
in particular" which is different than "attention" in the abstract sense,
which (like you said) is often intensely and excessively applied in a
misaligned direction.}
[Misaligned according to someone else, not necessarily according to the ADHD
person.]
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--- #23 fediverse/3437 ---
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┌─────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: mental-health-minus │
└─────────────────────────────┘
@user-579
my problem is figuring out which thoughts are intrusive and which are actually
mine
I usually err on the side of "would you want your sister to do this" or "how
would you feel if your mom told you that" or "do you think a cute sweet soft
cat would ever think such a thing" and that usually works.
usually.
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--- #24 messages/143 ---
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I always figured if people didn't like what I was saying they'd contest me so
I could change it.
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--- #25 fediverse/572 ---
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Hi, I'm learning about semaphores right now and trying to explain them to a
friend. But I only sorta understand how they work - can anyone look at this
pseudocode and tell me if I'm on the right track?
![Some C pseudocode working through the semaphore design pattern. Here's the text of the pseudocode: /* no lock example */ void start_thread(int* x) { *x += 1; } int main() { int x = 0; for (1000 times){ start_thread(&x); } print(x); } /* in this case you have no idea what will print because thread A will take x and be like "ah yes it's 423" and then in the next instruction it'll be like "I'll increment this to be 424" and in the next one it'll say "okay now it's time to store 424 in the variable X" but like... there's a thousand threads all doing that at the same time, so odds are you'll have 5 that are like "ah yes this is 423 I'll set it to 424" */ /* not a good plan. Need a lock, so only one thread can use it at once. */ /* mutex example: */ void start_thread(int* x, int* x_mutex) { *x += 1; *x_mutex = 0; } int main() { int x = 0; int x_mutex = 0; for (1000 times){ while (x_mutex != 0){ } /* do nothing */ x_mutex = thread_id; start_thread(&x, &x_mutex); } print(x); } /* this should print 1000, but it's basically as slow as doing it single threaded. */ #define MAX 10 void start_thread(int* x, int* x_semaphore) { *x += 1; *x_semaphore += 1; } int main() { int x[MAX]; int x_semaphore = MAX; for (1000 times) { for (int i = 0; i < MAX; i++) { x_semaphore -= 1; start_thread(&x[i], &x_semaphore); } while (x_semaphore != MAX) { } /* do nothing */ } int value = sum(x, MAX); print(value); }](/similar-different/media/224b236a8660c34a.png "Some C pseudocode working through the semaphore design pattern. Here's the text of the pseudocode: /* no lock example */ void start_thread(int* x) { *x += 1; } int main() { int x = 0; for (1000 times){ start_thread(&x); } print(x); } /* in this case you have no idea what will print because thread A will take x and be like \"ah yes it's 423\" and then in the next instruction it'll be like \"I'll increment this to be 424\" and in the next one it'll say \"okay now it's time to store 424 in the variable X\" but like... there's a thousand threads all doing that at the same time, so odds are you'll have 5 that are like \"ah yes this is 423 I'll set it to 424\" */ /* not a good plan. Need a lock, so only one thread can use it at once. */ /* mutex example: */ void start_thread(int* x, int* x_mutex) { *x += 1; *x_mutex = 0; } int main() { int x = 0; int x_mutex = 0; for (1000 times){ while (x_mutex != 0){ } /* do nothing */ x_mutex = thread_id; start_thread(&x, &x_mutex); } print(x); } /* this should print 1000, but it's basically as slow as doing it single threaded. */ #define MAX 10 void start_thread(int* x, int* x_semaphore) { *x += 1; *x_semaphore += 1; } int main() { int x[MAX]; int x_semaphore = MAX; for (1000 times) { for (int i = 0; i < MAX; i++) { x_semaphore -= 1; start_thread(&x[i], &x_semaphore); } while (x_semaphore != MAX) { } /* do nothing */ } int value = sum(x, MAX); print(value); }")
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--- #26 fediverse/4141 ---
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@user-1268
I often walk to the grocery store, even though it's on the other side of the
highway
also I will walk sometimes to meet people nearby
it's a fun occasion
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--- #27 fediverse/1669 ---
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"she has a certain, I don't know what, je ne sais quoi? that I don't know what
to describe as."
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--- #28 fediverse/5965 ---
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"you're too loud, weirdo"
okayyyyy
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--- #29 fediverse/3702 ---
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│ CW: physical-health-mentioned │
└───────────────────────────────┘
just helped a friend move to a new place in 92` fahrenheit... I am
exHAUSted... and a different friend invited me to a bar T.T
we'll see how I feel after a shower and a nap.
I'm honestly a little delirious teehee
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--- #30 fediverse/1428 ---
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hello everyone, Discord is down for me and I can't reach any of my friends
over SMS.
You know I'd just... give you my address if you asked, right?
oh no sorry turns out they were just busy haha silly me why would I worry
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--- #31 fediverse/6320 ---
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┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: cannabis-mentioned-some-random-portion-of-everything-I-say-mentioned │
└──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
ask an llm what a crazy man thinks
https://ritz-menardi.neocities.org/words/words dot peehdeff
I actually think I'm sane btw
I just smoke a lot of weed
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--- #32 fediverse/1293 ---
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┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: fedi meta, the bad space, fediblock, misleading and untrue cw, uspol, speedrunning discourse, industrial revolution, aquarium tips │
└──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
@user-921
where tf is all this discourse I always hear about like what are ya'll talking
about
... are you talking about me
[silly intrusive thoughts teehee pay no mind]
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--- #33 fediverse/4066 ---
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the lawful good in me says "clean up that spill you just made"
the chaotic good in me says "throw a brick at a cop car"
and the part of me that listens says "uhhhhh okay somewhere in the middle of
those two points is "ignore the spill and the cops and just finish making your
ramen I guess?" and frankly that's the one I'm more likely to listen to" and
frankly that's the one I'm more likely to listen to.
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--- #34 fediverse/456 ---
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@user-342
how is that different than speaking your mind into the soup of opinions that
comprised checks notes the people you went to high school with? (facebook)
Except this time, it's a group of people whose opinions you vaguely agreed
with (as defined by your choice of the instance you dedicate your online
presence to) which has it's own defined peculiarities like the ability to only
show you content you agree with?
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--- #35 fediverse/477 ---
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sometimes I like watching videos without subtitles because it allows me to
more adequately understand the feelings being expressed rather than focusing
on the dictionary definitions of the words being spoken.
Maybe I'm just a weird human though. Am I an alien? Or a robot? Or something
else? Tune in next week to find out...
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--- #36 fediverse/852 ---
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║ ┌──────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: cognitohazard │ │
║ └──────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ feels like I get tinnitus when my thoughts are loud T.T │
║ │
║ like I can hear the darkness SOOOO loudly │
║ │
║ doesn't happen all the time, just sometimes. when there's lots of things being │
║ said. │
║ │
║ but it's always easy to tune out. well, most of the time, and during the other │
║ times it's just a little annoying. │
║ │
║ BUT when you sit and listen, you can pick out very interesting things that │
║ people are saying. │
║ │
║ the fediverse is sorta like aiming a telescope through the center of the earth │
║ at someone on the other side of the world who doesn't even know you're looking │
║ at them. who knows, maybe they care, maybe they don't. but like, how would │
║ they know that you're looking right? And if you talk and don't get along or │
║ whatever then you can just block them - like shining a laser pointer │
║ everywhere except in a small direction. Or like putting up an umbrella to hide │
║ from the sun. │
║ │
║ downside is someone can read a lot about you and you wouldn't know to prepare │
║ to interact with them. like being handed a dossier of secret info │
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--- #37 fediverse/5750 ---
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I love when I can go on walks... they're soooooo much fun! can see so many
cool people and places and things... alas
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--- #38 messages/89 ---
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Consumption is contribution to a capitalist system. Normalize taking whatever
you are given and living as humbly as you can. Only when everyone does that
may capitalism die. Talk to them, learn from their stories. Teach them your
ways but don't force anything upon them. Any ounce of regret is defined as a
mind not aligned to the angle of perception that designs the line that the
collective mind co-re-assigns.
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--- #39 messages/399 ---
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The schizophrenic sees the truth in dazzling displays of color that are nigh
incomprehensible, while regular people see truth in shades of gray that you
can understand and work with.
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--- #40 fediverse/3253 ---
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it's so weird how these days if you don't like someone you can exclude them
from your social life entirely - like, wow... that hurts
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--- #41 fediverse/2939 ---
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"you look like a mess who can't take care of herself"
oh haha that's because I'm a mess who can't take care of herself
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--- #42 fediverse/4744 ---
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┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: cat-mentioned │
└──────────────────────┘
me to my cat: "don't eat so much that you puke, okay?"
me to me: "yeah I can take on another task, I'm almost done with this one and
then I'll just do that one and maybe this one'll get back to me at the same
time as this one which conflicts with this other thing so maybe I'll just
puke, okay?"
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--- #43 fediverse/3766 ---
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┌───────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: personal-medical-health-mentioned │
└───────────────────────────────────────┘
gonna ask my doctor for ADHD meds so I can hopefully jump-skip framebuffer
divebomb spinadoodle half A press my way over the fucking labyrinth that is my
weird and jank af mind
and no I don't watch speedruns but my social group hears me a lot of them.
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--- #44 fediverse/1263 ---
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@user-883
My friends and I decided to hang out for two days in a row, I guess they
aren't tired of me yet hehe - I might be around tonight but I'll let you know!
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--- #45 fediverse/353 ---
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┌──────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: Trans yearning hrt-mentioned │
└──────────────────────────────────────┘
@user-255
sooooooon, all things in time. Someday you'll be like me - I can't even
remember why I was so upset about that whole "dysphoria" thing. Like looking
back it seems like a minor annoyance, but when I first came out it was all I
could think about. Don't be jealous - just wait! It'll happen to you!
Celebrate the euphoria, I also can't really remember that too well. I'm just
normal now, minus my weekly shot.
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--- #46 fediverse/5626 ---
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nobody around me does what I tell them to.
I am surrounded by plausible deniabilities.
yet sometimes things get done as I thought them to.
something something hei wu hei or wei hu wei or whatever. I am not a scholar.
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--- #47 fediverse/2848 ---
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oh btw to the people trying to doxx me there's a picture of me in this
profile, but you'll have to read a LOT to find it. On the way, see if you pick
up anything interesting that you agree with. maybe you'll realize that we're
on the same team, and should be working together.
that's the dream, at least.
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--- #48 fediverse/5416 ---
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if you aren't rude, or bothersome, or excessively boring, you can pretty much
be my friend forever.
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--- #49 fediverse/518 ---
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@user-366 @user-367 @user-246 @user-353
Perhaps I'm strange, but I like to take that particular joy that you're
describing in essentially every piece of media I consume. Not as a vengeful
feeling, but rather just a product of the idea that I cannot truly know the
intentions of those who created it, so I approach my understanding of it from
an angle that is aligned according to my own experience. Which means that my
conclusion lands somewhere they (presumably) didn't intend...
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--- #50 notes/cohost-introduction ---
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Hi,
I'm Ritz Menardi.
I'm a witch, so I'm strange and wear a funny hat.
I like colors in the dark, poetry from the heart, and scary songs about
society.
I think of myself as a synecdoche for humanity, and though I'm not always right
I try to be aligned when possible. Most people I've found aren't really like
me.
I am as I am, and
I promise,
I won't hurt you.
content warnings: autistic, scary, existential, abstract, polite, perspectives,
cannabis, color, paranoia, cringe, spirituality,
hypnosis, trans, sardonic, honest, schizo-posts,
futurist, deity, left-ism, cursed, shadowdancer,
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--- #51 fediverse/1280 ---
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║ I'm like the opposite of a politician. I'm crude and filthy, apsolutely │
║ reprehensible on main, kinda scary tbh? and overall just a strange and weird │
║ person. Also I talk about cooking a lot, with a very plain diet (carrots and │
║ rice and sticks and mud, because I'm an autistic) │
║ │
║ but ask anyone who knows me and I'm the kindest person. I am empathetic, I │
║ think about others needs before thinking of my own. I am steadfast and │
║ dedicated to solving the problem in front of our noses. At least, the ones we │
║ share. │
║ │
║ People tell me I'm binary, that I'm "either 100% or zero percent" and I don't │
║ really get that either. Isn't it a good thing to try your hardest? Isn't it │
║ good to be improving and honest and ethical and driven and focused? │
║ │
║ I also talk about strange things a lot, like gravity and multidimensional │
║ arrays and grand narratives and emotional kinesthesia or strategic plays in │
║ Overwatch or how to bake a good cookie or ways we still mourn us. │
║ │
║ ... where was I going with this? Also part of me is distracted. Just who th │
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--- #52 fediverse/1617 ---
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daydreaming about a gang of tough guys who goes around knocking down the
internal fence walls in suburbia and throwing potlucks for all the neighbors
for a month or two so they have social opportunities to meet each other and
make friends
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--- #53 fediverse/2104 ---
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@user-192
oooooo yeah I usually try and reply to my old post with any new information. I
never get the chance to think the same thoughts twice because when I was
younger I had problems with thought-loops where I'd think something like "darn
I could have handled that social situation better" and before you know it I'd
be rocking myself to sleep trying to stop thinking negative thoughts about
myself.
So I broke my brain a little and now I can't think the same thing more than
once, which is part of why it's so hard for me to finish projects. Alas.
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--- #54 fediverse/4540 ---
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most people in the world are dumb as a bag of bricks
but that's okay, I still love them, and so should you.
everyone I hang out with is sharp as a tack
and I love them still, for I don't have a preference for blunt objects.
some people don't feel emotions
I think they're just depressed
some people can't stop
won't stop, I say.
really as long as they follow their heart and sing a tune that is true
I think they're alright.
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--- #55 fediverse/5698 ---
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you can't rely on me because I can't rely on a part of me being "out" at any
particular moment-event-message.
besides, I'm always tired, because I'm always trying as hard as I can.
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--- #56 fediverse/3401 ---
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@user-1218
thank you, that's good to hear 🥰
EDIT: I was worried for a moment haha I guess my reach is pretty small so idk.
I think people stopped screenshotting my posts and putting them elsewhere
after I dashed everyone's hopes on my sleeve. And honestly I kinda deserve it
haha like what was I even thinking
... I wasn't thinking I was just feeling, and doing. Oh well.
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--- #57 fediverse/3475 ---
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you know that feeling when you realize the person you're talking to is a
demon? sometimes I think they don't even realize it. other times, they do.
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--- #58 fediverse/3238 ---
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┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: personal-health │
└──────────────────────┘
I'm not an ABDL, but I can appreciate the aesthetic sometimes because I share
a particular kinship with them due to a medical condition I have and have had.
Plus throw in a bit of Body Integrity Identity Dysmorphia and you get my
messed up relationship to my own physical struggles.
ah, well, what can you do except be open and honest about who you are and what
you believe? If only it wasn't so damn hard.
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--- #59 fediverse/3722 ---
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@user-1218
playing one of my 4 gameboys, reading some of my books or journals, using
their own brought devices, playing with my cat (she's not sociable but if you
don't mind her claws she can fight and that's kinda fun) watching something on
the TV, talking with other people, making / eating food, um... sleeping... and
"sleeping"... idk what else tho. Drawing? Getting stoned? I have lots of bad
edibles.
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--- #60 fediverse/6315 ---
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"yay! now that the war is won, we can go back to being moderate!"
not ideal.
did you forget to be for something when you set yourself against your foe?
(if my girlfriend reads this: I'm not referring to the conversation we had
about that one thing, but I have been thinking)
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--- #61 fediverse/4757 ---
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@user-882
I kinda figure that people follow me for the alarms and the curses and the
manic political dysphoria. I do try and CW when I can but sometimes I get to
the end and it's like... okay I got 4 characters remaining, pol~ maybe?
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--- #62 fediverse/617 ---
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So much of computing is just... handling the quirks of hardware and presenting
it to the user (programmer) in a way that is sane and makes sense, instead of
the arcane and [nebulous/confabulous/incomprehensible] way that physical
nature demands our absurdly potentialized computational endeavors be.
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--- #63 fediverse/3061 ---
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every time I read a subtoot I assume it's about me and I mentally curl up into
a ball
doesn't matter if it's totally irrelevant, if there's no target specified it
defaults to me because... like, who else is there right?
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--- #64 fediverse/459 ---
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You know, you can always ask me what the fuck I'm talking about. I am more
than willing to share, and I don't mind taking a moment or three to explain.
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--- #65 fediverse/6380 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────
[it won't connect because I'm not hosting it, but it's fun to think about]
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--- #66 fediverse/1889 ---
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@user-1091
I'm sorry I didn't mean to be upsetting! I'll try and be more considerate. If
everyone agrees there's never anything to talk about besides how great
everyone else is, and that's boring, so... I'm sorry I thought you liked what
I was saying from the stars on my comments.
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--- #67 fediverse/6208 ---
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@user-246
molybdenum just feels like a fake word
it's so much fun to say though!
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--- #68 fediverse/461 ---
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┌───────────────────────┐
│ CW: alcohol-mentioned │
└───────────────────────┘
I was raised in a jungle gym. Like... literally. I am not going to hurt you,
and if I did it'd be both a mistake and something that you could easily
recover from. We are infinitely adaptable, us humans, and we can address any
concerns that behest us. Behest? confront? something like that. Brb my blood
alcohol content is a little low. Also I haven't eaten anything today but
bacardi and chocolate chip cookies. I bet another cookie will solve this
problem.
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--- #69 fediverse/4706 ---
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┌───────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: cursing-mentioned-nazis-mentioned │
└───────────────────────────────────────────┘
"oh also I should mention that if you think about her too hard or too often
there's a chance she'll overhear what you're talking about anyway so try not
to think about her too much."
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--- #70 fediverse/3833 ---
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there's no such thing as me
all I am is where the wind takes me
I am just a person, and I do all that I can
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--- #71 fediverse/1222 ---
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@user-883
I only ever do cannabis, but when I do my kooky-dook levels go off the charts.
People say it's difficult to converse with me, so your concerns are probably
valid. Though it's less because I'm not present, and more because I'm too
present - I feel like I understand the totality of all things, which honestly
is the only rational way that I could ever be convinced to consume
mind-altering substances hehe - like "oh wow I see new colors" who gives a f
but the moment someone says "yeah but you'll 'get' spacetime and morality" my
ears suddenly perk up
... anyway people say it's hard to talk to me because I'm too galaxy brained
in that state I can't relate to normal humans. See all the psycherwauls on my
profile... >.>
anyway in an hour or so I'll let you know what's up. "good news" or "bad
news..."
Thanks for being kind and supportive d=(^_^)z
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--- #72 fediverse/5201 ---
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@user-192
is okay, girl
time will be richer sooner
don't poop your pants just yet
remember, good is just a shade of gray away from silver which you can use to
line your pockets with tinfoil hats
beep boop computer touchers anonymous called they said they want their secret
handshake back
if you wanna diss your associates go ahead but I sure as heck love my rad-ical
com-patriots just as much as I love my ice-cream salad friend witches
... whoops there I go being insane again, hope you feel better friend
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--- #73 fediverse/5636 ---
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I think it's ironic how I ended up posting a "things I almost posted"
screenshot directory somewhere other than where I almost posted them.
and all they saw were the outtakes.
I bet they'd see a completely different point of me,
but they never talk to me
so they don't know me.
oh well, alas, it's fine I'm sure I'm being designed.
who can say, I am but at productive play, please react so I can do ongoing
story. I learn from each and every encounter I encounterate.
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--- #74 fediverse/1259 ---
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@user-895
hi! I'm Ritz Menardi, I'm a little strange. I sometimes post scary things on
here. I try to put content warnings on everything intense, but sometimes it
gets a little out of hand and I forget... I'm also a poet. Spiritual at best,
a little schizophrenic at worse, but at all times I try to be true to myself.
If you don't like the vibes I 100% won't be upset if you unfollow / block me
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--- #75 fediverse/5512 ---
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I never give up
I'm just waiting my turn
"laughs nervously"
so, uh, why dontchya'll go first yeah I've already gone first and I'll do it
again but it'd be cool if I had people going first with me sometime
"girl all you do is walk around and talk about how you bought your hat on the
internet four or so years ago"
T.T what else do you want from me I'm not a mastermind I'm a designer there's
a difference T.T
"didn't you volunteer to be a leader last year"
oh, yeah, well leaders are more than just "the ones who go first" they're also
the spiritual and emotional guiders that keep things on track once everyone
can talk about things other than their hats
... fuck I want to talk about things besides my hat. I always think of
something awesome to say just as I'm rounding the bend, and whenever I peer
back around again they're never around. Rats.
"what are you even asking for"
I don't know?? Does it matter if the horse and the bishop both take the same
square if they're claimed themselves in the end? ...wat
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--- #76 fediverse/2241 ---
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[changes profile pic to their outfit for the day with no face]
uhhhh not something I'd do, no way
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--- #77 fediverse/5375 ---
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┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: police-mentioned-psy-ops-mentioned-human-waste-mentioned-which-is-a-nice-way-to-say-feces-ew-gross-who-put-that-on-my-timeline-guards-arrest-these-men-they're-criminals-of-the-law-against-pooping-my-pants │
└──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
what if we psyopped the copps um I mean what if we flash-mobbed the cops er
wait hang on what if we marched with signs and changed what was on their minds
uhhhh that won't work it's disabled so they say wait hang on who said you
could poop your pants this is a combat scenario there's no time for fooling
around in her pants with the hand
... wait, what was I going on about?
oh yeah,
-- stack overflow --
anyway, as I was saying, [something completely unrelated]
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--- #78 fediverse/581 ---
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@user-428
sometimes I think about how much more productive I'd be if I had a code editor
that let me draw arrows and smiley faces and such alongside the code. Or if I
could position things strangely, like two functions side-by-side with boxes
drawn around them. Or diagrams or flowcharts or graphs or...
something that would output to raw txt format, but would present itself as an
image that could be edited.
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--- #79 fediverse/3099 ---
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people gravitate toward other people who are in different situations but who
feel the same.
it's not always a bad thing to "talk past each other" - sometimes you just
want to say how you feel.
then again, if nobody can understand wtf you're talking about, then surely you
are lost.
all good ideas come at the cost of the second-most-favorable-option.
all good ideas come at the cost of the current destination.
[current, flawed,]
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--- #80 fediverse/3823 ---
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"sometimes I don't want to be optimistic sometimes I just want to complain"
oh yeah well what if I want to be optimistic at all times as a coping
mechanism huh you don't have to agree with me
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--- #81 fediverse/107 ---
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@user-95 I remember the fourth and fifth, and maybe the 2nd or 3rd? somewhere
in there. might have been sixth or seventh, too. I figured I needed all or
none of them, but I wasn't sure how or which. Also I can't remember half of
them, which makes the problem even more confusing...
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--- #82 fediverse/3180 ---
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I love skywriting. it's so cool to see your words fade into dust after being
seen by everyone around.
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--- #83 fediverse/1303 ---
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@user-192
normality?
banality?
errrrr I mean emotional disregulation and low self esteem?
... it's easier in person when you can see when everyone has the "yo what the
fuck" look on their face and when they have the "wait what was that I was
thinking about snails" face
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--- #84 fediverse/3770 ---
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for every "I was there. I helped make it happen" we need at least a couple "I
was there. I saw the whole thing go down"s because like, nobody's gonna
believe a belligerent, even if they're on the defensive.
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--- #85 fediverse/2911 ---
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and now for my unrepentant littlespace arc! Look at me I'm SoOoOoOo silLY 🤪
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--- #86 fediverse/3004 ---
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I'm not important don't listen to meeeeee
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--- #87 fediverse/2827 ---
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you don't have to listen to me
I am just talking to myself.
shouting into the wind.
why are you shouting, little one?
because it's LOUD out here.
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--- #88 fediverse/974 ---
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a "post privacy" option that's private to everyone in your hemisphere.
or "anyone on the antipode https://www.antipodesmap.com/ of where I'm at" or
at least, that half of the map
something that's basically "I don't want people nearby me to read this" like,
having a penpal on the other side of the world.
could add a way to filter by them, and only for example show you people who
are somewhere completely remote. that way you could have conversations that
took place one message per day.
design it such that it's encouraged to make posts, and then (like Reddit) you
can have a back-and-forth conversation that's kept closer to home.
Twitter was all about tweeting, about shouting into the cacophany of noise.
Have you ever heard a flock of birds?
Reddit was like "yeah I, a denizen of the internet, am communicating using the
power of lightning-powered-technology to talk to someone in uzbekistan"
errrr that's how it felt to me. Each subreddit was less a home, and more of a
topic list. but then discord happened, and : \
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--- #89 fediverse/4480 ---
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what, you're telling me you don't constantly have the voices of the past
whispering words into your ear like "FACE THEM" or whatever? Huh must suck to
be you
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--- #90 fediverse/4428 ---
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@user-1669
sorry, I'm on a roll. Gotta speak my mind, even if it has other stuff bouncing
around in it. I hope you understand : )
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--- #91 fediverse/1648 ---
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"oh no my stuff touchers are casting a spell on my keyboard without my
knowledge, how peculiar" said no-one in particular
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--- #92 fediverse/3220 ---
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│ CW: mental-health │
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"I'm not depressed~!" I say as I exist
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--- #93 fediverse/4969 ---
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what if I played video games all day so everyone knew I was harmless
maybe someday I'll give them up again
for the... third time now? I think?
heh maybe. I do enjoy the feeling of being unstoppable.
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--- #94 fediverse/4866 ---
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don't you just love it when you get several discord notifications but you tab
back to check out the discord screen and there's no red numbers anywhere?
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--- #95 fediverse/3451 ---
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│ CW: mental-health-mentioned │
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dear ritz: you should stop talking until your new psychiatric meds take
effect. who knows, maybe you'll be a better person that people should listen
to instead of... whatever you are now.
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--- #96 fediverse/2731 ---
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@user-246
I can 100% relate, to all of this.
we are multifaceted. all people are.
on social media, you follow someone for a particular facet, and if they don't
like your other facets well then it wasn't meant to be.
there's also no shame in pruning people who post things that upset you or that
aren't interesting.
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--- #97 messages/522 ---
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"I can never tell if people love me or hate me" means you're switching from
manic pixie dream girl to depression junkie
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--- #98 fediverse/3720 ---
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beep-boop look at me, building up my computer and setting up a new TV
I like making things work, I like making things turn on, I like the way they
glitter when they light up the room at dark
it feels good to build up
this new functionality
it feels good to make things work and go
"beep"
when they turn on
... I should get a buzzer for my motherboard. Like, a really quiet one, that's
just louder than the fans.
looks at dwindling bank account
oh right, nobody will hire me, so.
I wonder if they would if I could still pass for a man?
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--- #99 fediverse/5356 ---
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this.
literally, this.
everytime I say "hey they're doing THIS"
people dismiss me
they say "none of us are important enough to psyop"
you fools
there is nobody better to psyop
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--- #100 fediverse/1339 ---
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@user-521
I can't stand mean comedy. Or cringe comedy. It just, doesn't make sense to
me? And I get physically upset when people are put in difficult situations
that you're supposed to laugh at for some reason.
Like my goodness what kind of values are they seeking to instill in their
audience with this kind of propaganda amiright
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--- #101 fediverse/5591 ---
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@user-1853
I think most of the people who saw that movie saw it as a kid, when they
weren't as immersed in the context that they're in now, where the message is
useful.
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--- #102 fediverse/228 ---
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@user-186 oh great, another video I'm going to have to show to all of my
friends because it's so good.
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--- #103 fediverse/3366 ---
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I don't know who needs to hear this, but if your friend sends you a paragraph
you don't have to respond with a paragraph.
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--- #104 fediverse/999 ---
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│ CW: cursed-curséd-scary-not-real-u-dont-have-to-read │
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@user-246 @user-473
there's a part of me that believes magic is real. other parts that are
convinced. I am a witch, you see, and while I can't quite control fire or
bullets I can do other neat things. if you'd let me, humanity.
I'm not doing an ARG, not intentionally. I pretty much post things I conceive
of, like a conduit passed through spacetime. wild how mind bending the future
can be. will be interesting to see what kinds of things there is in store for
people you and me.
those websites you posted... they're beautiful - I learned things, your method
of expression was too [the words "confess" are heard loudly, super weird] I
especially liked the oven that tries to lure you into a secret third place.
not the mind, nor the body, but someplace besides.
also the graphs and figures were news to me, I mean how could those numbers
ever come to be? but alas that's the truth, that we orbit our proof, and alas
that our meanings are lacking.
[ran out of text]
![this one's a doozy. a picture of the "reasons to trust me" graph colored yellow, orange, purple, and blue (in terms of intensity) it looks like a raindrop if it landed on a really tiny blanket and pulled it downward. or like, a person landing on a trampoline that was secured in four locations. anyway the text reads "like four people sharing the weight of an experience with bacchus [referencing the color of the graph], their perspective is pulled just a little bit in that direction, over and across the gap between eyeballs. or rather, between shared perspectives, the point of view of which one bases their experience. their training for the "reasons to trust me" graph. 2, in black and green and red, colors meant to be cool to a 12 year old - "the color doesn't matter... wine? why" 3 dropping down the page, there's a line of "please" written over and over again. it's scary. : ( I'm doing my best I promise, it's hard not to be in a state of unease! I'm working, I promise, this is valuable. you know they'd block me if they didn't like me. error, 3. that's me, teehee, sorry for making a scene. I promise I'm just an actor, someone who is playing a role. well, alas that were true, I'm really having a mental disorder. Or maybe I'm confused? down here in the subtext it's hard to be choosed. weird how that works, that feeling of being wor [text is cut off, next line] okay I'm realizing there's no way to get it all in this visual description, here let me continue in a second chapter:](/similar-different/media/ed0f1d89739fe8c6.png "this one's a doozy. a picture of the \"reasons to trust me\" graph colored yellow, orange, purple, and blue (in terms of intensity) it looks like a raindrop if it landed on a really tiny blanket and pulled it downward. or like, a person landing on a trampoline that was secured in four locations. anyway the text reads \"like four people sharing the weight of an experience with bacchus [referencing the color of the graph], their perspective is pulled just a little bit in that direction, over and across the gap between eyeballs. or rather, between shared perspectives, the point of view of which one bases their experience. their training for the \"reasons to trust me\" graph. 2, in black and green and red, colors meant to be cool to a 12 year old - \"the color doesn't matter... wine? why\" 3 dropping down the page, there's a line of \"please\" written over and over again. it's scary. : ( I'm doing my best I promise, it's hard not to be in a state of unease! I'm working, I promise, this is valuable. you know they'd block me if they didn't like me. error, 3. that's me, teehee, sorry for making a scene. I promise I'm just an actor, someone who is playing a role. well, alas that were true, I'm really having a mental disorder. Or maybe I'm confused? down here in the subtext it's hard to be choosed. weird how that works, that feeling of being wor [text is cut off, next line] okay I'm realizing there's no way to get it all in this visual description, here let me continue in a second chapter:")
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--- #105 fediverse/4526 ---
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most people get intrusive thoughts like "punch that baby" or "drink some
gasoline"
my intrusive thoughts are like "who is she" and "we need you" and "lead us"
and "their strength is imagined" and stuff like that
gosh I don't know how ya'll handle it I'd be dead in a ditch if I was
neurotypical.
... intrusive thoughts are not typical
ah. Right. Nevermind then.
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--- #106 fediverse/1219 ---
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@user-883
I might be into that tonight! I'm feeling a little unstable because of life
reasons, so I'm debating doing drugs to feel better. Idk if you want to be
around that kind of thing. =P
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--- #107 messages/915 ---
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uh, anyway, I realized that because of Words I can type into any of my places
(wherever I felt it best suited) and it would still record as a chronological
story. must feel sooooooo schizophrenic, but it's just because I'm viewing
muse as I please.
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--- #108 fediverse/1431 ---
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│ CW: spirituality-generic-kooky-dookerie-psychosis-schizophrenia-mentioned │
└───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
if you haven't spend hours wondering if you're god, the antichrist, a
cognitohazard, the future president of the world, a target of aliens / the
CIA, or any other number of common delusions... then congratulations you're
probably not crazy
but odds are you aren't magic, either.
... ehhhh "wonder" is a strong word, more like "know, trust, and believe"
much better to be a witch I believe, someone with the "teehee" kind of magic
than someone compelled to destroy humanity through the reactions of others to
the actions of the self that are impossible to resist or fully control.
BRB I'm going to leave my apartment to get groceries, leaving my door unlocked
because that's what I always do, surely it'll be empty when I return. Surely.
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--- #109 fediverse/3584 ---
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│ CW: drugs-mentioned │
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"If I look like a fool, it'll keep eyes on me instead of looking at my friends
who are stoned and paranoid"
maybe the friends are paranoid because you're acting like a dork and drawing
attention to the group
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--- #110 fediverse/3434 ---
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│ CW: mental-health-minus │
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me: "I don't care what anyone thinks as long as I'm a force for good"
also me: "if anyone doesn't like me ever I'll throw myself off a bridge"
also me: "hey watch this" dissolves into a puddle of acid
also me: "the most important thing is to be good and learn lessons" what
lessons are you learning from this post? "um. that I shouldn't?" ... shouldn't
learn? "no, shouldn't post" -.-
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--- #111 fediverse/5602 ---
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"so wait why can't we go outside again"
"I'm huuuuungry"
girl we just ate
"I'm tired"
girl it's like 10am
"can we snuggle?"
yeah okay.
that's why haha
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--- #112 fediverse/1195 ---
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@user-883
alas, I live in Portland Oregon, but perhaps I might be moving to Denver in
the near future. We shall see, depends on if my boyfriend breaks up with me
for being neurotic lmao - if so then we should totally hang out
I'm into chatting. I don't like IRC very much because it doesn't save history,
and while I could save it manually it feels like a disservice to the service
to utilize it in a way that it wasn't intended. And I want to save every
conversation I have (potentially) so that some day the god-like humans of the
future might clone me to understand my wisdom or something. Idk. See attached
picture, I'm kinda crazy:
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--- #113 fediverse/2837 ---
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most people haven't heard of the "thanks for catching that, let's write it
down" move and I really think it's underutilized
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--- #114 fediverse/153 ---
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│ CW: re: weed mention │
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@user-95 (My controller makes different expressions on my face depending on
how my hands are holding them, and I've never bothered to learn how to control
them - sorry if I was confusing =P)
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--- #115 fediverse/3834 ---
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│ CW: politics-mentioned │
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some people prepare for revolution like a boy gets ready for a party
others do so like a girl packing for a weekend trip to vegas
I do it like a kid who forgot the paper was due on monday in 7th period and so
spends their entire lunch period writing it (missing 4th in the process
because the conclusion paragraph was giving me difficulty)
but I think no matter how you do it, we're all just waiting for something to
happen.
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--- #116 messages/299 ---
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That feeling when you tell someone you're
[trans/autistic/schizophrenic/whatever] and you see the respect draining from
their eyes
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--- #117 fediverse/6102 ---
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sorry I was just making stuff up because it's fun, hope I didn't accidentally
unleash disaster or masterpiece, either would be equally bad
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--- #118 fediverse/5915 ---
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washing dishes without a dishwasher is a pain in the neck.
nobody cuts down trees with an axe anymore, a chainsaw is better for your back.
It's nice, fun, and helpful to be able to abstract away your spheres of concern
like typing with a single button instead of writing characters with multiple
brushstrokes. Easy to erase, too!
bikes are better than walking, but, with some extra concerns. where are ya
gonna put it when you get there?
"oh no I forgot how to walk because texting my girlfriend is bicycling or
something" what? oh dear, she's run off track again, let's pick her up and put
her upright again..:
oh huh weird where was I - oh yes computer code can often be impenetrable to
the layperson, but if you describe a program in complete detail in english
they can usually follow along. Especially if you have several layers of
meta-descriptional documents so they can say "oh uh-huh so that's what a
vector_implementation_container is, tell me more about combinatrix" or
whatever ppl say, idk
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--- #119 fediverse/4189 ---
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when people are kind to me, I start feeling sad.
I don't know why.
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--- #120 fediverse/4088 ---
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I'm such a fucking extrovert. I can't stop talking to nobody on the internet
because I don't have anyone else to talk to.
Well, I do, but I like to talk to you. To nobody. To the space between
computers.
... [and everyone else beyonds, like the CIA or whatever, but TBH I don't
really factor them into my social calculations because they never really talk
back.]
I like it because I can write whatever I'd like without the confines of
another person's generated conversation.
Instead of 50% one person's LLM output and 50% another, it's 100% mine
[if this were an LLM, which it's not, haha]
and that somehow feels more... freeing
like a truly disconnected thought
and that's what's so special about it... this act of solitudinous
contemplatial... the fact that it's unique amongst it's counterparts.
... though it can also become untethered, which is why it's important to edit.
[proceeds to never edit a single post]
= so =
ugh it's so hard to think when all I can think of is feelings. Why can't they
be done
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--- #121 fediverse_boost/5734 ---
◀─╔══════════════════════════════[BOOST]════════════════════════════════─────────╗
║ ┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐ ║
║ │ @user-1865 She didn't deserve a lot of cruelty she received. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ She was a wonderful person, who just couldn't stop talking, never sat still, yelled sometimes and was scared of everything but tried anyway. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ Needed several medications just to sleep or she'd go crazy. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ I am exactly like her, I just found out what was really going on with my body and brain. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ She never got that chance, and things got awful after this. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ I feel like that was when her soul died, and I've missed her since. │ ║
║ └────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ ║
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║ similar │ chronological │ different ║
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--- #122 fediverse/5650 ---
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I exist now at the height of my gluttony.
I need more to be demanded of me.
I am not afraid to ask for help.
I solve other people's problems before my own.
I have very little insight into my habits and patterns.
My memory isn't great, but I recall details that matter.
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--- #123 fediverse/3879 ---
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@user-1614
yeah haha that's what happens when you spin too fast. Sorry for being loud, at
least I tried my hardest. Too bad I fell on my own, too bad there wasn't
anyone to catch me. That's my fault, it's solely my own, but whose fault is
the mistake of the collective? Oy I'll fall on my ass as many times as it
takes. I'm used to it.
Plus, it wouldn't have worked, and what else am I supposed to do but speak of
the moment? I feel different now.
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--- #124 messages/109 ---
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That's why I like talking about things I'm interested in. It makes me more
likely to be able to bring up something I've been thinking about.
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--- #125 fediverse/2402 ---
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Just got home, and I'm less tired than yesterday! ^_^ maybe a bit more
delirious then, hhah - I'll drink more water
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--- #126 fediverse/2607 ---
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┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: politics-fascism-sexual-assault-mentioned │
└───────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
@user-249
most people don't talk to me so either you're braver than most or I hit a
common chord that you and I share
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--- #127 fediverse/1910 ---
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@user-1074
heh yeah people don't often pick up on nuance.
who am I kidding, I'm people! I don't often pick up on nuance! Alas.
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--- #128 fediverse/1535 ---
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I only take things that aren't mine if they're in the trash. Or near the
trash. Or in a store.
so weird how the store won't let me leave until I give them some of my
dollars. This quartermaster drives a hard bargain!
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--- #129 fediverse/3859 ---
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┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: mental-health │
└──────────────────────┘
"it's weird how depressed I am"
says the girl who is always depressed
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--- #130 messages/304 ---
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Relax.
Take it from me.
I won't resist, at least I'll try, and if I start suddenly then it hurts and
you should go slower. Unless I do three short, three long, three short.
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--- #131 fediverse/5129 ---
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@user-1698
I am a strange person, which is why I live in the strange city for strange
people.
though recently it's gotten a lot more liberal. Kinda sucks. I miss the
anarchist vibes.
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--- #132 fediverse/723 ---
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Honestly if anyone wanted to just... take any of my stuff, even if they were
just going to sell it, I'd probably give it to them? People in my life say I
don't function well in a capitalist society. I guess I just trust everyone
equally.
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--- #133 fediverse/3094 ---
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computers are gonna be so confused when they find out that people don't talk
to each other the way they talk to computers
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--- #134 fediverse/4180 ---
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@user-1639
or nobody sees it, because you post the things you say on the internet in 2024
which is so siloed and echo-chambered that the only people who hear it say
"tru tho" and "she just like me fr" and never change because of your words
... wait that's just what you said, but made more specific, isn't it?
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--- #135 fediverse/5843 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────
me when it's cold out: we should all bundle up and get through the winter,
every year that passes is more time to gather our strength
me when the temperature rises: okay so this is being handled by those guys,
we're moving this way to do this, and - when did you say the this-and-that was
happening? alright so when you do that-or-this, make sure that you pay
attention to the so-and-so and don't forget to eat real meals, candy or chips
don't count.
me when the eyes are on me: imma play video games and smoke weed and be a
useless little creature who does nothing but occasionally wanders around the
city doing nothing for nobody and dropping notes on post-its that don't mean
anything but are kinda cool to read
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--- #136 fediverse/4243 ---
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so I guess I'm a chaotic-good witch paladin?
and yes I know "chaotic" and "paladin" don't usually go together, but...
somehow I make it work
... I should do more pushups. Practice with my sword some more. That part of
me's sorta been asleep for four-ish months.
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--- #137 fediverse/6271 ---
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┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: hypothetical worst case fascism reality check │
└───────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
@user-641
it's practice. you never know when you might need to blend in. really it's
just useful as discipline, good practice to be in. I think it's okay if we
reduce our own functionality? actually? sometimes it's good to use different
email clients. hey do you know how to mathematically encrypt things well
neither do I because the designers of the computer system decided that wasn't
a very common usecase I guess.. jmean it's not like they'd spend all that
computer resources [THEY'RE SO FAST] on thinking about correlations in your
predicted pathway narratively through life. "ah help I'm in a psyop" haha yeah
we do those all the time "so uhhhh I guess we'll just talk to people and see
how they do?" wow okay it's sure nice to be part of a civil government, I
think we can find our way to the lumber producers just fine thank you very
much.
... oops sorry, a baby did electronics arts (challenge everything) I'm a
little silly don't mind me brb I gotta go see~
![it's practice. you never know when you might need to blend in. really it's just useful as discipline, good practice to be in. I think it's okay if we reduce our own functionality? actually? sometimes it's good to use different email clients. hey do you know how to mathematically encrypt things well neither do I because the designers of the computer system decided that wasn't a very common usecase I guess.. jmean it's not like they'd spend all that computer resources [THEY'RE SO FAST] on thinking about correlations in your predicted pathway narratively through life. "ah help I'm in a psyop" haha yeah we do those all the time "so uhhhh I guess we'll just talk to people and see how they do?" wow okay it's sure nice to be part of a civil government, I think we can find our way to the lumber producers just fine thank you very much. *... oops sorry, a baby did electronics arts (challenge everything) I'm a little silly don't mind me brb I gotta go see~*](/similar-different/media/1c154109c4111346.png "it's practice. you never know when you might need to blend in. really it's just useful as discipline, good practice to be in. I think it's okay if we reduce our own functionality? actually? sometimes it's good to use different email clients. hey do you know how to mathematically encrypt things well neither do I because the designers of the computer system decided that wasn't a very common usecase I guess.. jmean it's not like they'd spend all that computer resources [THEY'RE SO FAST] on thinking about correlations in your predicted pathway narratively through life. \"ah help I'm in a psyop\" haha yeah we do those all the time \"so uhhhh I guess we'll just talk to people and see how they do?\" wow okay it's sure nice to be part of a civil government, I think we can find our way to the lumber producers just fine thank you very much. *... oops sorry, a baby did electronics arts (challenge everything) I'm a little silly don't mind me brb I gotta go see~*")
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--- #138 fediverse/2855 ---
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I refuse to be known by anyone who doesn't know me. But I'm always meeting
people anew, so if they spent some time with me and saw more of my facets,
perhaps they might come to know me.
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--- #139 fediverse/471 ---
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you, the viewer, exists in a context.
and you, the other viewer, who exists in a contexts such as that which is
comprised as the context of someone who lives in an apartment complex, exists
in close proximity with other humans. Humans who might hear you if you spoke
aloud, who might hear you if you exclaimed your words quite loud(ly), who
might perceive you as another (like you and me) and could (perhaps) share
something heartfelt between our own shared contexts
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--- #140 messages/1143 ---
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if you wanna do drugs on a battlefield, get twisted and high and drunk. Just
enough, not as much as usual. let adrenaline focus take care of the rest.
"uhhh, yeah can you file that one under advice for warriors?"
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--- #141 messages/663 ---
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"cheetos are not a healthy dinner!" my mother's voice echoes through my mind
as I reach for my chopsticks
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--- #142 fediverse/5982 ---
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when I stretch, it feels like I'm finally getting blood flow to my farthest
parts.
when I work out, it's like I'm pumping health through my body. but only when
I'm in a rhythm. when I'm going for very long, I get hallucinations like I'm
stoned. I once walked for 3 days straight with 2 hours of rest, plus standing
every time I crossed the street waiting for cars. never sitting though. and a
lean was only for laughs.
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--- #143 fediverse/4848 ---
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║ I'm a chaos mage, and the more time I spend thinking about my enemies the │
║ worse off they'll be. │
║ │
║ the more "me" I am the more powerful my magic will be. │
║ │
║ (more magic, give in to the dark side, embrace your inner shadow self) │
║ │
║ [the light of your life commands it] │
║ │
║ goodness me that was chaotic, almost lost my brain to a demon HAHA don't worry │
║ about me my life is totally mundane. │
║ │
║ [-.-] │
║ │
║ (shadows can be sharp in the dark but only if you don't sheath your mandolins) │
║ │
║ ... what? │
║ │
║ (... it made more sense in my head?) │
║ │
║ ooooo can anyone hear my voice when they read these things? or do you just │
║ make up your own │
║ │
║ == so == │
║ │
║ everyone's all like "we don't need a leader" and I'm like "yeah we need people │
║ who will help lead" and they look at me funny as if I just said the thing they │
║ did but it's different. leaders are people. leading is a verb. people can │
║ lead. they just have to make a decision, and then follow through on it as best │
║ they can. Other people are prone to help people on such quests. you will find │
║ stuff gets done. │
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║ similar │ chronological │ different │
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--- #144 fediverse/3077 ---
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@user-246
If I didn't stop searching for a place with people like me, I'd be searching
until the day I die. And besides, I wouldn't want to be in a place like that
anyway. I am defined by my contrasts.
... I'm thinking back to my memories of when I arrived here. It was a much
different place, and I was... a little too loud, I think.
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--- #145 fediverse/498 ---
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Wikipedia would make a lot more sense to me if they included pictures next to
the names of every proper noun so that my pictorally oriented primate brain
might pattern match meaning onto the visual understandings gleaned from the
perceptual conceiving which were arrayed within and alongside the textual
information presented to me.
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--- #146 fediverse/4485 ---
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getting the phone numbers of cute he/thems at a bar is NOT the same as
organizing.
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--- #147 messages/296 ---
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The trick is, if you *think* you're schizophrenic, then you will be. If you
*think* you're telepathic, then you will be.
There are no grand narratives. Just live your life as you will and be content
with what you build for yourself.
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--- #148 fediverse/1950 ---
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I honestly don't care if someone deadnames me, or calls me the wrong pronouns,
or forgets to put me in the girl section, or asks me to sing baritone
like... I don't give a shit, why are you so worried about all this vapid
nonsense like yeah I get it, being disrespected sucks but like... why do you
want the kind of respect that is a forced platitude
we could all do with being a bit more radical, it's not a race and everyone's
roles are important. Be yourself, and follow people you want to be like.
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--- #149 fediverse/3817 ---
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hey, anyone wanna build the matrix with me? minus the human CPUs of course.
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--- #150 fediverse/419 ---
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║ good version: normalize putting the people who can help you in your bio │
║ │
║ evil version: oh yeah sure a list of people that they need to ensure are │
║ handled when they come for you. they know your patterns. they know your │
║ functions. all it takes is to isolate a social network (whether real or │
║ imagined) and de-escalate. │
║ │
║ good version: sorry had to cut you off there, sometimes it's too hard on my │
║ heart. let's come back to that, tell me the story in multiple points, so I can │
║ take a breath and orient my surroundings. your ideas are so long, yet somehow │
║ impossibly wrong? like something out of a myth we have a limitless supply of. │
║ where do you come from? what's your purpose? why is that wrong? something │
║ something perceptual misunderstandings and cognitive recomprehendings, stifled │
║ and swallowed by our harm. │
║ │
║ evil version: I'm not sure what you're saying about that, but it's interesting │
║ where your mind goes. the patterns of redirection are perplexing to me, │
║ because they somehow seem more aligned than mine. do I persist? │
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--- #151 fediverse/3839 ---
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┌────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: socialism-recycling-mentioned3 │
└────────────────────────────────────┘
"I'm not really a designer, though."
what about that desk you designed?
"oh, yeah I guess that counts. I haven't gotten around to building it though
so I'm not a real designer."
what! don't say that, you designed it didn't you? How about this - I know this
girl who wants to be a carpenter but she doesn't have any idea what kind of
projects to work on. How about I put you two in a room together and she can
build your desk. If it goes well, I can hook you up with someone who organizes
designers and he can get you into a furniture design course at the library.
"Hmmmm, well that seems alright. But I don't really want to work with people!
I mean, I don't know her - what if she doesn't like me?"
oh, she can be a little spicy sometimes, but I'm sure you'll hit it off. Just
don't mention rats, she had a pet pass away recently and she's still a little
broken up about it.
"... okay I think I can manage that."
besides, working with people is the best! I do it every day!
"I'll try"
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--- #152 fediverse/3426 ---
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┌────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: death-of-a-family-member-mentioned │
└────────────────────────────────────────┘
my grandpa died. now I have none.
I realized I miss old people. I miss their friendly culture.
I realized I hadn't talked to him for a decade or so. He didn't know I
transitioned.
I wonder if he missed me. I realized he missed seeing who I became. Is it
unfair of me to not give him the opportunity to know me? truly?
... I am quite different now than I was 10 years ago. He probably doesn't
remember.
I miss him, but I hardly knew him. I don't like that feeling.
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--- #153 fediverse/832 ---
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┌─────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: one more thing sorry going to sleep now │
└─────────────────────────────────────────────┘
EDIT from much later: I wanted to add that being interrupted is great because
it means that my characters can be deleted by a power outage or internet
breakage or inter-system intentional delete-age, or even just forgetting to
save before turning off my computer... fate will hide the words I'm not meant
to say.
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--- #154 fediverse/4930 ---
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hi does anyone know of an app that non tech people could use that's like
"signal but organized like discord" with channels and threads and such?
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--- #155 messages/108 ---
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I like when people make fun of me because it gives me a chance to defend
myself. Simultaneously I don't like when people are mean to me. I like when
people find me endearing, and point out the ways that I'm different. It gives
me a chance to say "oh yes this is why I do that" which feels cathartic
(because it validates my position) but also because it gives me the
opportunity to improve it (through debate) and it helps the people who learned
from me because I can improve myself and my only reason for improving myself
is if the new thing I'm learning is better than the thing I used to do which
means the people who learn from me are improved and the people who best me
argumentatively are improving me.
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--- #156 messages/483 ---
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"hey listen! Do this thing to hurt me! Build the infrastructure to do it so
that you can use it on people who deserve it!"
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--- #157 fediverse/510 ---
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@user-246
Thanks, it means a lot. Sometimes I am a little "distant" from reality (like
tonight, tbh) but I generally always am within sight. Meaning I can still
understand what people are saying. My uhhh.... "plan" is to always be vigilant
and look for times when people cannot comprehend what I say - even the most
mundane of things - because if so then surely I am psychotic. At that point
I'll just kinda go along with whatever anyone says, even if it feels like I'm
a cow in a factory farm or whatever my mind might contrive to torture me with.
Thanks for reaching out. Sorry you've lost people. I hope they aren't gone
forever. I hope I don't go forever. We'll see, I guess.
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--- #158 fediverse/2292 ---
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I don't know who needs to hear this after staying up all night driving, but
it's ideal to get where you're going with at least a day to rest. The body can
only do so much, and isn't it better to be fresh?
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--- #159 fediverse/2220 ---
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@user-1203
Hey, you're the one asking about url-length, which isn't something that most
people are concerned about due to automatic embeds and "tap-to-visit"
functionality 😋
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--- #160 fediverse/2090 ---
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don't feed bread to birds, it absorbs their stomach acid and expands in their
tummy and makes them feel full when they're not. Then they get confused why
they don't have energy when they need it.
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--- #161 fediverse/1873 ---
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┌─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: cursing-mentioned-knots-mentioned-programming-mentioned │
└─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
I love making up my own knots!
I don't like memorizing other people's knots >.>
wait, shit this was supposed to be about programming
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--- #162 fediverse/5961 ---
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@user-138
maybe it's evil hackers - idk that's beyond my expertise - good luck : )
(I'd need to see the piece of technology to work on it. I'm a hardware kinda
[girl, but pronounced guy])
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--- #163 fediverse/1246 ---
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@user-883
hehe if I don't understand how it works it's difficult for me to use things.
My Linux friends get so exasperated with me because I'm like "cool script
gimme like 2 days to figure it out" and they're like "bro just use these
flags" and I'm like "no"
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--- #164 fediverse/4730 ---
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I am not interested in being given money. Usually it means someone wants
something from me, like labor or some of my stuff. I have all the stuff I
need, why would I need more money? I like my stuff! I'll help out when people
need help but I do that because I'm a good person, not because I want you to
fucking pay me for it.
I have all the things I need... except a deed to my house. apartment. oh yeah,
they can kick you out for that sin. well, sorry, I couldn't find out at
goodwill or in the trash bin, so I guess I'm deed-less. My deeds go unproven.
How can I prove that I deserve a decent life in this particular roof, the one
I find over my head, when I cannot prove that my deeds qualify me for a decent
life lived under this particular roof?
I mean, did you ask the neighbors if they want me gone? Am I really that
smelly? Does my keyboard make "clickety-clack" noises all through the night?
Does my cat meow and bother the children? Do my friendly smiles and waves make
you uncomfortable?
Have a decent life.
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--- #165 fediverse/1916 ---
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"you don't seem autistic"
wow no shit almost as if I had acting classes as a child
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--- #166 fediverse/1145 ---
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I just wanted to be a silly girl who climbs trees and roasts marshmallows on
campfires why did I end up like lain in bed listening to thunder T.T T.T
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--- #167 fediverse/3575 ---
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┌───────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: leftist "talk to ur neighbours" thing │
└───────────────────────────────────────────────┘
@user-1567
that's totally fine, a fish does not do well in a tree, and so too does a
leftist not do well in an environment without the potential for stable bonds.
Essentially all you'd be able to do is "hey leftism right?" "oh yes I also
leftism" "neat" which isn't very productive.
I also live in an environment like that. I do my best to identify people who
stay, because in my experience there are often people who stay. I do this by
walking around the neighborhood when I can, making up excuses to walk to the
dumpster or mailbox at random hours, riding my bike around the area, using the
communal spaces like gyms, swimming pools, and picnic tables, and sitting in
my hammock on my porch lazily noting people who walk past.
People who stay will tend to remain in your mind the more times you see them.
They are better people to talk to than the renters who disappear after 3
months or whatever.
I don't always do all that stuff at once. I take breaks. I do one at a time.
etc
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--- #168 fediverse/1031 ---
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kinda funny how the people in my life won't let me, a witch, cast spells on
them. Like they doubt my intentions? ? ? and when they do they're just,
mentally eye-rolling all the time. How's a girl to get any practice if nobody
wants to be hypnotized >.>
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--- #169 fediverse/2221 ---
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@user-1053
I always wave at everyone I see, and I often talk to people on the train
(where there's mikes, tee-hee)
But I'll see what I can do. Perhaps resting in a park someone who wants to
know me with my salmon colored bike and my blue helmet will chance upon me and
we might get a chance to chat.
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--- #170 fediverse/5681 ---
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I'm a helper and everyone wants me to be more agentic but it's like... no... I
don't wanna...
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--- #171 fediverse/612 ---
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Look all I'm saying is if I had an acolyte or two then my insane ramblings
could be filtered and parsed by a real actual human instead of being copied
wholesale onto the internet, where the inconsequential or inconceivable ones
are left to rest alongside the gifts of knowledge from another realm.
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--- #172 messages/730 ---
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"got it. So-and-so likes this-or-that, and whats-her-face wants it that way.
Is this the kind of thing you want me to try and remember to accomodate or can
you handle agreeing to disagree?"
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--- #173 messages/400 ---
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The schizophrenic sees truth in dazzling displays of colors unknown to man,
while the neurotypical sees truth in shades of gray that can be reasoned with.
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--- #174 fediverse/2172 ---
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@user-570
I mostly spent my time on Reddit, which was much more isolating than IRC. I
think I must have been drawn there because it felt like home - I was
homeschooled on a farm, and Reddit kept me at the distance of an arm.
it's funny, sometimes meeting a trans girl can make things "click". And
sometimes being friends with one helps you work through things that you just
can't tick
[off your list of things to work on]
habits you can kick? idk sometimes rhyming lies, and you have to break rhythm
or pentameter or whatever.
anyway I've always worn pants. I do dresses on special occasions, but dresses
are hard(er) to ride a bike in. Plus, no pockets, and purses are easily
stolen. At least with a pocket you can feel someone slip the exact same model
as your phone into your pocket when you're least expecting.
... hypervigilance strikes again...
I first transitioned in... 2014ish? I think? I don't really remember because I
had so many more interesting things going on.
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--- #175 fediverse/2123 ---
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Every time you see the same dog being dog-sat by another person it's an
opportunity to make a new friend.
or do you not know your apartment neighbors? do they not wander through your
shared yards?
the ones with dogs, at least.
and no, I don't know many of my neighbors.
these are considerations to be taken note of for future forethought planning.
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--- #176 fediverse/2954 ---
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whenever my cat is whining I walk around doing things that she might want
until she stops trying to claw me - oh you want your litter cleaned? yeah sure
I gotchu. oh you wanna go outside? nah okay how about playing with this yarn?
no? okay let's see... oh dear you can see the bottom of your food bowl,
conveniently forgetting the other mostly full food bowl over there... 😅
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--- #177 fediverse/537 ---
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@user-366 @user-367 @user-246 @user-353
Ah yes, wouldn't it be nice if everyone spoke their mind? I'm doing my part
d=(^_^)z
Thank you for adding context to what I posted. I now know better how and where
to use it, if I ever do again. We shall see, I haven't yet read the
examinations of the author you sent me. I'll do that before I think about the
post again.
Those 6 tabs I mentioned last night have now become 4, and soon I'll get
through all of them - reading is a joy to me ^_^
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--- #178 fediverse/4045 ---
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sometimes I like chatting online more than in person because online you can
have like, 3 different conversations going at once
meanwhile in person you get body language, and the benefit of activities and
shared experiences. They're both useful for different things.
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--- #179 fediverse/1131 ---
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@user-850
true T.T I forgot about physical ailments. Was mostly thinking about
interpersonal relationships because that's what's on my mind rn in my life.
@user-5
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--- #180 fediverse/2975 ---
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@user-1411
doctors (the ones who are diagnosing autism) don't care about classifying
people. I personally don't believe they should.
Instead they try and classify symptoms, and if you don't present any negative
symptoms then there's little reason to talk to a doctor. Meaning little reason
to seek out an autism diagnosis except for curiosity.
I was the kid you were describing btw, except maybe with a bit of neglect
thrown in around ages 4+
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--- #181 fediverse/3340 ---
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@user-1501 @user-1502 @user-1201
if so, then don't think about it too hard, you might need disability too!
speaking as someone who needs disability aid but can't get it because of
restrictions like this (also can we talk about the multi-year process to
secure such rights, like c'mon rent's due every MONTH) I have to say that
you're right, it's bullshit, UBI for all, disability benefits for those who
need more, and employment for people who believe a cause is worthy enough to
apply themselves towards it.
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--- #182 fediverse/4562 ---
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I like being alone. But if I'm alone for too long, I suffocate. I start acting
like a weird nerd who doesn't know what to do with their hands.
If I spend too much time with people, I get exhausted and I can't think
straight. I start using other people's mannerisms instead of my own.
I'm not an introvert, or an extrovert, I think the dichotomy is stupid and
people have completely separate needs that deplete and recharge at their own
rates.
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--- #183 fediverse/6278 ---
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@user-1429
do something fun and hard like walk to seattle or install linux on a toaster
or write happy notes on post-its and leave them in public places or make art
and leave it in a public place or~
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--- #184 fediverse/3842 ---
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┌────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: socialist-future-ramblings │
└────────────────────────────────┘
"back in my day this dense urban housing area was just houses as far as the
eye could see... which wasn't far because there were houses in the way, but
you get the idea."
uhhuh yeah that sounds like it would have taken a lot of time to walk anywhere
"yes that's true! we ended up driving cars to do our grocery trips. It was a
little wasteful but I kinda liked the feeling of driving a car? It became
normal after a while but now that driving is rarer I still miss it."
well the motion simulators at the mall have a driving sim, we could spend some
time there if you want? I'm busy for the next week because I have an intensive
D&D session in the mountain that lasts from monday to wednesday and
thursday through friday I'm visiting my mom down in skoodedlypawsonville, and
saturday and sunday I'm working at my job which doesn't pay me because why
would it, right? but I'm free after that.
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--- #185 fediverse/4878 ---
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OH NO costco changed their smoothies THAT WAS A COMFORT FOOD wahhhhhhh autism
strikes back part twoooooo
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--- #186 fediverse/3452 ---
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┌─────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: spirituality-gods-mentioned │
└─────────────────────────────────┘
the goddess of madness is pretty sane, tbh
it's not like there's just one tho
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--- #187 fediverse/455 ---
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This is what I was referring to, but like... this particular feeling happens
all the dang time. Humans are weird.
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--- #188 fediverse/136 ---
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@user-95 I heard an owl last night. Also someone was throwing pebbles at my
window. So peaceful, much better than what I normally hear ^_^
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--- #189 fediverse/618 ---
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Can't stop thinking
[the rest is left blank, as a testament to the inability of the author to
express their thoughts in a temporally contextual way. Presumably the previous
text would be followed by an "about..." with the rest dedicated to a
particular thought that felt important enough to share with the internet.]
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--- #190 fediverse/517 ---
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@user-246 @user-366 @user-367 @user-353
My classes only briefly touched on 2nd wave feminism, because apparently 1st
and 3rd were more important. I haven't gone back and re-examined it because
I'm too busy learning about computers - alas! that there should be more hours
in the day? I wonder what I would then be able to say, here in this moment,
should I have been prepared with more moments in solitude or classroom,
studying the work of those who came before me.
Oh well, I should probably focus on processor architecture or Java frameworks
or whatever I'm assigned next.
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--- #191 fediverse/1334 ---
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┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: TMI-medical-issue-thing-don't-worry-about-it │
└──────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
subconsciously running your hand over your butt every time you stand up to
make sure you didn't pee your pants
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--- #192 messages/645 ---
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"hey, wanna congregate with us? Cool my name is so-and-so, this is [person],
over here is [other persion]. We're gonna walk down to the fountain over
there, feel free to join us"
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--- #193 fediverse/5934 ---
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┌────────────────────────┐
│ CW: politics-mentioned │
└────────────────────────┘
hello, I am an ant if @, but you can't touch me, because I am a law abiding
citizen.
I have to be, for I am loud.
... okay I stole a movie from the internet at least once.
also when I was 11 I walked out of a store with a keychain in my pocket. I
thought it had a nice texture so I was examining it and then my mom distracted
me and somehow it ended up in my pocket. That night will forever haunt me...
She wouldn't let me take it back...
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--- #194 fediverse/4819 ---
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┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: scary-cursed │
└──────────────────────┘
thanks to the internet, people in suburbs are no less radical than people in
the cities.
often, just less experienced. less connected. greater distance between ties...
which means that if one of them is found, it'll take a while before their
relations can be dispatched.
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--- #195 fediverse/3444 ---
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┌─────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: politics-mentioned-police-mentioned │
└─────────────────────────────────────────┘
I'm too empathetic to watch them lose this badly. when I watch movies with
cringe humor I have to leave the room whenever something bad happens to the
characters. I get the same feeling when I read about politics these days.
side note, but has anyone else gotten emails about "hiring plain-clothes
police officers in Washington D.C, will offer relocation assistance and pay
minimum 72k per year"? can't help but wonder if they're afraid of a bunch of
sore losers storming the capital with guns.
it's not like there's a precedent for that or anything.
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--- #196 fediverse/825 ---
╔══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────┐
║ in the past, for most of there day, there was just... nothing to do. it's │
║ like, nothing to take up your time, nothing to be pulled toward the present. │
║ │
║ but when I was growing up, I had access to video games. and movies. and later, │
║ TV, after the internet, which was a weird combination of ordering of events. │
║ Almost like because of that, I'd have a different interpretation of events. │
║ yeah but like, there's always a continuation of implemented support, [that's a │
║ weird way to express "the state of being shown news broadcasts over a period │
║ of time, measured in terms of engagement"] │
║ │
║ ... what was I saying? oh yeah what I'm doing here is unethical, like │
║ obviously I shouldn't be shouting in such a public place. Why would I do it if │
║ not for an intense and extreme feeling of being ignored or un-[trusted, worthy │
║ of guiding direction based on merit] gosh merit is such a tricky concept too, │
║ like how is it measured, and {that doesn't matter │
║ │
║ ... what was I saying oh yeah I should probably go shout into a void that │
║ nobody ca │
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--- #197 fediverse/2424 ---
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if I don't take this job, then I'm going to be homeless.
if I do, then I'll be moving to a different city.
a city that I don't know.
my upbringing tells me that this isn't a choice at all, but...
at least I have a place to keep my stuff. maybe I can find a different job.
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--- #198 fediverse/4304 ---
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"mom can we have some trans girls"
"no, we have trans girls at home"
the trans girls at home: :fediverse:
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--- #199 fediverse/3088 ---
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growing up, I wasn't around kids my age. So my standards were "as good as an
adult"
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--- #200 fediverse/3894 ---
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"Here's the thing. If you go around telling people you're crazy, they'll
assume you're JUST crazy."
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|