=== ANCHOR POEM ===
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@user-1698
Ha that does sound pretty "fun" - I take it you aren't a pianist?
I smell bad because... reasons... so I am always hyper-aware of myself when
I'm in situations like that. The idea that I might ruin someone's day by being
there terrifies me.
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=== SIMILARITY RANKED ===
--- #1 fediverse/5208 ---
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│ CW: capitalism-suicide-mentioned │
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Look, when I promised "Revolution or Death" I got pretty busy and kinda forgot
to do the "dying" part, and by now it'd be a little awkward if I offed myself
for no visible reason, so... How about we try again this summer? Maybe in a
month or two? I'll try to keep the fire burning a bit longer this time.
plus I'm better at playing the piano now so maybe that'll help somehow.
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--- #2 fediverse/1801 ---
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people call me "hypervigilant" as if being constantly aware is not a normal
state for them.
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--- #3 fediverse/851 ---
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@user-599
these are the kinds of things I say to myself all the time. I don't know why,
but it feels true so I think it.
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--- #4 fediverse/2939 ---
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"you look like a mess who can't take care of herself"
oh haha that's because I'm a mess who can't take care of herself
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--- #5 messages/214 ---
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Gonna take a break from this whole thing. I got a sign that I'm a bad person,
twice. To confirm. I need to change, and since I don't know what I'm just
going to try and do nothing for a bit.
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--- #6 fediverse/4024 ---
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my cat doesn't know that my family is my family. She thinks they're just some
other people who visit the house.
but they're special to me, as all people are, and I think she takes notice.
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--- #7 fediverse/5374 ---
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@user-138
me neither... guess it's in-person for me.
[a mysterious "they" then proceeds to set up microphones everywhere I might go]
ah nuts why are all these people carrying phones around
[they already know who I am, and I don't really want to be someone else, so]
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--- #8 fediverse/5698 ---
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you can't rely on me because I can't rely on a part of me being "out" at any
particular moment-event-message.
besides, I'm always tired, because I'm always trying as hard as I can.
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--- #9 fediverse/2120 ---
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sometimes I think performing my art was just an excuse to use Linux. At least,
some of my art.
But hey, I'm not complaining, it's awesome.
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--- #10 fediverse/723 ---
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Honestly if anyone wanted to just... take any of my stuff, even if they were
just going to sell it, I'd probably give it to them? People in my life say I
don't function well in a capitalist society. I guess I just trust everyone
equally.
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--- #11 fediverse/3475 ---
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you know that feeling when you realize the person you're talking to is a
demon? sometimes I think they don't even realize it. other times, they do.
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--- #12 fediverse/5686 ---
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my friends tell me stories and I build my ideas for relationships based on
their pain.
I am always haunted by questions they don't want to answer.
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--- #13 fediverse/5793 ---
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I posted my words text file all over the c it y today. not sure why. maybe I'm
tired of this course and I don't want to let anyone down? Maybe I don't know
what to do yet. Maybe nobody works with me because everyone's keeping it on
the DL or whateverr?
... anyway enough typing, I'm going to go play a video game. like god intended.
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--- #14 fediverse/4969 ---
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what if I played video games all day so everyone knew I was harmless
maybe someday I'll give them up again
for the... third time now? I think?
heh maybe. I do enjoy the feeling of being unstoppable.
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--- #15 fediverse/4855 ---
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"you should be acting like these people want to destroy you."me, to me
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--- #16 fediverse/2852 ---
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@user-570
quite recognizable. too. bad I don't wear it often these days, so I don't get
recognized as a different person than I'm performing that day.
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--- #17 messages/394 ---
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Just because I'm performing doesn't mean I'm pretending, or that I can help it.
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--- #18 messages/109 ---
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That's why I like talking about things I'm interested in. It makes me more
likely to be able to bring up something I've been thinking about.
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--- #19 fediverse/169 ---
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@user-95 one of the most empathetic people I ever met on VR chat was consoling
me with their mic off while I was oversharing about some stupid things people
did to me in the past. things that stupid me thought were okay and actively
encouraged because I was stupid. anyway when their mic was off their body
language spoke for them. I'll try that next time.
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--- #20 fediverse/2381 ---
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I smile at each and every person I pass on the street. Unless it looks like
they're having a bad day, and then I try to switch to neutral as fast as I can
so they can feel their feelings without me interjecting and making it about me.
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--- #21 fediverse/3437 ---
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│ CW: re: mental-health-minus │
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@user-579
my problem is figuring out which thoughts are intrusive and which are actually
mine
I usually err on the side of "would you want your sister to do this" or "how
would you feel if your mom told you that" or "do you think a cute sweet soft
cat would ever think such a thing" and that usually works.
usually.
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--- #22 fediverse/2292 ---
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I don't know who needs to hear this after staying up all night driving, but
it's ideal to get where you're going with at least a day to rest. The body can
only do so much, and isn't it better to be fresh?
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--- #23 fediverse/1259 ---
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@user-895
hi! I'm Ritz Menardi, I'm a little strange. I sometimes post scary things on
here. I try to put content warnings on everything intense, but sometimes it
gets a little out of hand and I forget... I'm also a poet. Spiritual at best,
a little schizophrenic at worse, but at all times I try to be true to myself.
If you don't like the vibes I 100% won't be upset if you unfollow / block me
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--- #24 fediverse/5626 ---
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nobody around me does what I tell them to.
I am surrounded by plausible deniabilities.
yet sometimes things get done as I thought them to.
something something hei wu hei or wei hu wei or whatever. I am not a scholar.
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--- #25 fediverse/111 ---
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@user-95 that's why I like programming - it's my favorite form of spelling.
i'm not very good at remembering all the names and the numbers, but I like to
think I can make things do a function.
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--- #26 fediverse/1381 ---
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│ CW: death-mentioned-nuts-mentioned │
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I'm a bit of a narcissist because I had a lot of... alone time as a kid, and I
was a bit starved for attention.
but I'm also afraid of rejection so if you have anything to say I'll listen
for hours and try to be what you need me to be and give what you need me to
give so that you don't leave me.
Also, nobody has ever hurt me. And so I trust wholely and completely and
absolutely. I get logically why that's not a good move but frankly I'd rather
die than be cooperative. ah nuts better add a content warning.
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--- #27 fediverse/1669 ---
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"she has a certain, I don't know what, je ne sais quoi? that I don't know what
to describe as."
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--- #28 fediverse/3776 ---
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whenever repeating letters like thiiiiiiis or thisssss make sure if you're
doing K's that you have at least four
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--- #29 fediverse/4526 ---
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│ CW: mental-health │
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most people get intrusive thoughts like "punch that baby" or "drink some
gasoline"
my intrusive thoughts are like "who is she" and "we need you" and "lead us"
and "their strength is imagined" and stuff like that
gosh I don't know how ya'll handle it I'd be dead in a ditch if I was
neurotypical.
... intrusive thoughts are not typical
ah. Right. Nevermind then.
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--- #30 fediverse/3833 ---
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there's no such thing as me
all I am is where the wind takes me
I am just a person, and I do all that I can
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--- #31 messages/915 ---
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uh, anyway, I realized that because of Words I can type into any of my places
(wherever I felt it best suited) and it would still record as a chronological
story. must feel sooooooo schizophrenic, but it's just because I'm viewing
muse as I please.
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--- #32 messages/312 ---
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Okay. Consider: if I'm good, and hearing what I say makes you feel bad, then
what does that tell you about you?
Why else would you hear what I say if not to reflect upon yourself? And why
would the good reflect away from the types of things that make you a suitable
fit for capitalism?
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--- #33 fediverse/1152 ---
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@user-258
wha... ya'll think I'm cool? Nobody's ever said that before (
[that's not true people have told me that before]
{though not recently heh I think you're cool too}
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--- #34 fediverse/2891 ---
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│ CW: physical-health │
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they're painting the inside of my apartment and it naturally has low airflow
in here and it's seeping under my door and making me woozy teehee better open
all the windows
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--- #35 fediverse/1293 ---
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│ CW: re: fedi meta, the bad space, fediblock, misleading and untrue cw, uspol, speedrunning discourse, industrial revolution, aquarium tips │
└──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
@user-921
where tf is all this discourse I always hear about like what are ya'll talking
about
... are you talking about me
[silly intrusive thoughts teehee pay no mind]
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--- #36 messages/1068 ---
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why would they psyop me? there's a psyop about me! heck, I've never done so as
I pleased. that's an aspiration. everything I do is at a command, whether it's
my own or external.
these days I find myself following my own. mostly. though I am always waiting
for collaboration opportunities.
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--- #37 fediverse/3823 ---
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"sometimes I don't want to be optimistic sometimes I just want to complain"
oh yeah well what if I want to be optimistic at all times as a coping
mechanism huh you don't have to agree with me
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--- #38 fediverse/1895 ---
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│ CW: re: C-programming-and-alcohol-mentioned │
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@user-1074
yeah drinking's overrated. I know I'd rather eat a home-cooked meal any day.
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--- #39 fediverse/1001 ---
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│ CW: re: cursed-curséd-scary-not-real-u-dont-have-to-read │
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@user-246 @user-473
perhaps that "light touch on reality" is what makes these pieces of art
resonate with me. I think you're beautiful and have a good heart.
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--- #40 fediverse/938 ---
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@user-649
same... sometimes it feels like I step on toes that I didn't know existed! I
got tired of walking on egg shells so now I just try and religiously put
content warnings on things that feel intense.
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--- #41 fediverse/4546 ---
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oh no she's in one of her bipolar moods
um. I'm just gonna log off till it's done, ttyl
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--- #42 fediverse/2399 ---
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│ CW: food-mentioned │
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Rice has been eaten. I threw a cookie on-top for good measure. I think that
was a good decision.
I'm going to the park. I don't know what I'll find, but I'm sure there'll be
fireworks.
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--- #43 fediverse/2991 ---
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okay so if yesterday was a
"everything sucks and I'm the worst ever"
type of day, and today is a
"whatever mom I don't even care"
type of day, that means tomorrow will be a
"I can't believe how absolutely absurd I am"
type of day, and the day after a
"I am indomitable nothing can stop me"
kind of day, with the following being wildcards
... right? here's hoping. I like that trajectory.
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--- #44 fediverse/5416 ---
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if you aren't rude, or bothersome, or excessively boring, you can pretty much
be my friend forever.
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--- #45 fediverse/4744 ---
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│ CW: cat-mentioned │
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me to my cat: "don't eat so much that you puke, okay?"
me to me: "yeah I can take on another task, I'm almost done with this one and
then I'll just do that one and maybe this one'll get back to me at the same
time as this one which conflicts with this other thing so maybe I'll just
puke, okay?"
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--- #46 fediverse/3647 ---
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it's always wild when the exact moment I start playing music (quiet enough not
to hear more than 5 feet away) or switch tasks suddenly there's a LOT of
activity outside my apartment. like... if you're gonna watch me at least make
it more subtle lmao
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--- #47 fediverse/6271 ---
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│ CW: re: hypothetical worst case fascism reality check │
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@user-641
it's practice. you never know when you might need to blend in. really it's
just useful as discipline, good practice to be in. I think it's okay if we
reduce our own functionality? actually? sometimes it's good to use different
email clients. hey do you know how to mathematically encrypt things well
neither do I because the designers of the computer system decided that wasn't
a very common usecase I guess.. jmean it's not like they'd spend all that
computer resources [THEY'RE SO FAST] on thinking about correlations in your
predicted pathway narratively through life. "ah help I'm in a psyop" haha yeah
we do those all the time "so uhhhh I guess we'll just talk to people and see
how they do?" wow okay it's sure nice to be part of a civil government, I
think we can find our way to the lumber producers just fine thank you very
much.
... oops sorry, a baby did electronics arts (challenge everything) I'm a
little silly don't mind me brb I gotta go see~
![it's practice. you never know when you might need to blend in. really it's just useful as discipline, good practice to be in. I think it's okay if we reduce our own functionality? actually? sometimes it's good to use different email clients. hey do you know how to mathematically encrypt things well neither do I because the designers of the computer system decided that wasn't a very common usecase I guess.. jmean it's not like they'd spend all that computer resources [THEY'RE SO FAST] on thinking about correlations in your predicted pathway narratively through life. "ah help I'm in a psyop" haha yeah we do those all the time "so uhhhh I guess we'll just talk to people and see how they do?" wow okay it's sure nice to be part of a civil government, I think we can find our way to the lumber producers just fine thank you very much. *... oops sorry, a baby did electronics arts (challenge everything) I'm a little silly don't mind me brb I gotta go see~*](/similar-different/media/1c154109c4111346.png "it's practice. you never know when you might need to blend in. really it's just useful as discipline, good practice to be in. I think it's okay if we reduce our own functionality? actually? sometimes it's good to use different email clients. hey do you know how to mathematically encrypt things well neither do I because the designers of the computer system decided that wasn't a very common usecase I guess.. jmean it's not like they'd spend all that computer resources [THEY'RE SO FAST] on thinking about correlations in your predicted pathway narratively through life. \"ah help I'm in a psyop\" haha yeah we do those all the time \"so uhhhh I guess we'll just talk to people and see how they do?\" wow okay it's sure nice to be part of a civil government, I think we can find our way to the lumber producers just fine thank you very much. *... oops sorry, a baby did electronics arts (challenge everything) I'm a little silly don't mind me brb I gotta go see~*")
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--- #48 fediverse/1535 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────
I only take things that aren't mine if they're in the trash. Or near the
trash. Or in a store.
so weird how the store won't let me leave until I give them some of my
dollars. This quartermaster drives a hard bargain!
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--- #49 fediverse/4843 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────
just because someone did something one way and it worked, doesn't mean you
have to do it that way again.
but you should have a reason why you aren't doing it that way.
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--- #50 fediverse/782 ---
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┌──────────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: "schitzoposting" │
└──────────────────────────┘
@user-579
if I'm not in this picture then what am I
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--- #51 fediverse/3058 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
@user-1441 @user-670 @user-113
currently toe-ing the boundary between "too neurodivergent to function" and
"can juuuuust barely take care of themselves" and they ask me to get a job...
no thanks, guess I'll die
(in 3-4 months when my savings run out)
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--- #52 fediverse/1263 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
@user-883
My friends and I decided to hang out for two days in a row, I guess they
aren't tired of me yet hehe - I might be around tonight but I'll let you know!
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #53 fediverse/5456 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────
today I'm gonna paint a house and tomorrow I'm gonna go to the park.
if I can't do that then I'll try tomorrow.
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╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────┘
--- #54 bluesky#36 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──
people are terrified, yet within me I feel a bright brilliant light.
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--- #55 fediverse/3975 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
@user-1631
for most of my life... [okay still do]... but it felt like I had different
moods, and depending on how I felt at the time I would act differently.
I forget the things that happen when I'm in a different mood, but I've gotten
to a point where I can generally force myself to stay a certain "mood" while
in certain contexts, and in doing so I can remember everything.
downside is I get burnt out pretty easily if I'm always the same. It's not
ideal.
... anyway if you talk about what you experience then your friends can point
you toward people who "get" you.
like, my parts don't have names, we don't have a group chat or whatever, it's
just... me, but different shades of me.
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--- #56 fediverse/3564 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────
this kind of thing always happens when I'm manic lmao
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--- #57 fediverse/6154 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────
it's fine I'm fine don't worry about it idk why I posted that
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--- #58 fediverse/718 ---
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@user-547
That feeling when you get to the end of a paragraph and think "why do I have
this extra parenthesis )? Oh yeah I opened it up waaaaay up here" and then you
reread what you wrote and think
perfect, no notes
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--- #59 fediverse/5300 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────
how do I keep finding myself here. it's like I wake up in some new fingers and
think "woh, vavadane" and then start itching my bored keys.
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--- #60 fediverse/814 ---
╔══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────┐
║ ah that's weird, I don't usually cry. I wonder what's going on. I should │
║ probably put myself on psychiatric drugs. Surely it's an expression of the │
║ implementation of my impending doom. │
║ │
║ ... what are you even saying bro │
║ │
║ ... um, hang on feels like some of the circuitry is off. is something wrong in │
║ my brain? yeah that's surely it, surely nothing I say would resoinate with │
║ anyone that has a non-malfunctioning brain. Surely I don't speak of logical │
║ failures in the hard founded truths of our asset [society I think? like, our │
║ conditions, our institutions, our {gosh that just... does not translate}] um │
║ right what was I saying │
║ │
║ oh yeah there's this game I'm really into called Knave, it's like D&D │
║ except the rules are very fewer. Like there's onyl 11 pages in the rulebook │
║ and it's mostly taken up by random roll tables. Like, everything boings down │
║ to a few simple rules, like rock paper scissors, or go-fish, or something like │
║ that with just afew mechanids. something timeless and pure, something that is │
║ isolated and en │
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║ similar │ chronological │ different │
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--- #61 fediverse/618 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
Can't stop thinking
[the rest is left blank, as a testament to the inability of the author to
express their thoughts in a temporally contextual way. Presumably the previous
text would be followed by an "about..." with the rest dedicated to a
particular thought that felt important enough to share with the internet.]
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #62 fediverse/151 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────────
┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: weed mention │
└──────────────────────┘
@user-95 thank you for inviting me, it was fun : ) I'm not usually that quiet
- weed works a little different on me than it does on humans, and one of the
side effects is auditory processing disorder. I couldn't really understand
what most people were saying...
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--- #63 fediverse/1609 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────
┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: mh- │
└──────────────────────┘
@user-1043
I have intrusive thoughts almost constantly that take over my train of thought
and make it difficult to focus. Like suddenly I'm thinking about something
completely different, and I realize no, it wasn't suddenly, I actually just
stood there and thought
and then I think "what was I thinking again?" sometimes when I write these
strange uncontrollable spirals down it makes poetry. Which is kinda neat I
guess. Sometimes I just wonder about how DNS can be a singular point of
failure in our networking infrastructure or whatever haha
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--- #64 fediverse/2104 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
@user-192
oooooo yeah I usually try and reply to my old post with any new information. I
never get the chance to think the same thoughts twice because when I was
younger I had problems with thought-loops where I'd think something like "darn
I could have handled that social situation better" and before you know it I'd
be rocking myself to sleep trying to stop thinking negative thoughts about
myself.
So I broke my brain a little and now I can't think the same thing more than
once, which is part of why it's so hard for me to finish projects. Alas.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #65 fediverse/228 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────
@user-186 oh great, another video I'm going to have to show to all of my
friends because it's so good.
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--- #66 fediverse/5169 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────
if you ever find yourself in a situation where you have to describe everything
that you do,
leave that situation
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--- #67 fediverse/1295 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────
┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: Mh- │
└──────────────────────┘
@user-889
my boyfriend gets like, 2 social spoons to spend per day. He usually uses them
on work because meetings and such.
On the other hand, I'm excitable and passionate. I'm constantly driven to
share things I find or think about. If you go on a walk with me without my
mask I'll spend the whole time showing you pretty pieces of moss and stones.
I usually message him once or twice per day. If the first one isn't responded
then maybe he just wasn't interested in the thing I showed him - the second
time he's probably burnt out.
It fucking hurts.
but I'm fine, clearly I'm fine, anyone who looks at me knows I'm fine
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--- #68 fediverse/5602 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────
"so wait why can't we go outside again"
"I'm huuuuungry"
girl we just ate
"I'm tired"
girl it's like 10am
"can we snuggle?"
yeah okay.
that's why haha
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #69 fediverse/3351 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
privacy doesn't mean anything on the internet to me because privacy on the
internet doesn't mean anything to "them"
gestures vaguely, maybe winks once or twice and/or presents an emphasis face
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #70 fediverse/1243 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
@user-883
hey sorry for ditching you yesterday, hope you had a good night ^_^
I feel much better today.
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--- #71 fediverse/5204 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────
just because you have something good
doesn't mean it's bad to have that good thing.
if it were so,
it would imply that you are bad.
and you are not bad.
therefore it is good to have good things.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #72 fediverse/3088 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
growing up, I wasn't around kids my age. So my standards were "as good as an
adult"
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--- #73 fediverse/2095 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
Sometimes it's okay to be sloppy if you're having fun!
Just... clean up after yourself when you're done 😉
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #74 fediverse/1334 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────
┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: TMI-medical-issue-thing-don't-worry-about-it │
└──────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
subconsciously running your hand over your butt every time you stand up to
make sure you didn't pee your pants
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
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--- #75 fediverse/4085 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
I can always tell when people who believe in me start thinking of me because I
start feeling the urge to do pushups
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #76 fediverse/4706 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────
┌───────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: cursing-mentioned-nazis-mentioned │
└───────────────────────────────────────────┘
"oh also I should mention that if you think about her too hard or too often
there's a chance she'll overhear what you're talking about anyway so try not
to think about her too much."
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #77 fediverse/1040 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: food-mentioned │
└──────────────────────┘
so it shall seem that sticks and mud are for me
I say as I sit in my apartment eating rice and beans
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #78 fediverse/5800 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────
... I feel fine actually
[weren't you just extremely happy?]
heh yeah feelings are experts at changing
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #79 fediverse/2815 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
I am NOT larping. I am expressing how I feel imaginatively.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #80 fediverse/5650 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────
I exist now at the height of my gluttony.
I need more to be demanded of me.
I am not afraid to ask for help.
I solve other people's problems before my own.
I have very little insight into my habits and patterns.
My memory isn't great, but I recall details that matter.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #81 fediverse/1841 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
curling up in a ball and thinking about crying for hours is the same as
crying. If a little bit less of a release.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #82 fediverse/518 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
@user-366 @user-367 @user-246 @user-353
Perhaps I'm strange, but I like to take that particular joy that you're
describing in essentially every piece of media I consume. Not as a vengeful
feeling, but rather just a product of the idea that I cannot truly know the
intentions of those who created it, so I approach my understanding of it from
an angle that is aligned according to my own experience. Which means that my
conclusion lands somewhere they (presumably) didn't intend...
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #83 fediverse/5636 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────
I think it's ironic how I ended up posting a "things I almost posted"
screenshot directory somewhere other than where I almost posted them.
and all they saw were the outtakes.
I bet they'd see a completely different point of me,
but they never talk to me
so they don't know me.
oh well, alas, it's fine I'm sure I'm being designed.
who can say, I am but at productive play, please react so I can do ongoing
story. I learn from each and every encounter I encounterate.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #84 messages/182 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────
@sperm baby siblings: is it weird that I dream about you all significantly
more often than the people who are actually in my day to day life?
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #85 fediverse/5782 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────
sometimes I post random silly [scary] things to pad out the serious things and
I hope that's okay
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--- #86 fediverse/4973 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────
okay, uhm, I'm back again because someone told me to forward this to relevant
people
relevant link so google doesn't have to know that you're all googling the same
thing at the same time...
http://naeb.brit.org/uses/
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--- #87 fediverse/1708 ---
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@user-246
people who don't write have no idea who they are. perhaps in time they will
know enough to describe themselves with newfound language they never knew how
to wield.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #88 fediverse/2707 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
@user-1209
sometimes I feed the nearby wildlife, and sometimes I don't. I don't want them
to grow reliant on me, but I want them to have a nice surprise every once in a
while.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #89 fediverse/3718 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────
Real life is improv, but real life is not a skit.
I am unwilling to give control of my life's scene to someone who won't tell me
what they want to do with it.
Even if I don't believe you, I'll still give it to you, but I will remain
cautious and will abandon the scene if it appears that I can trust you to hurt
me.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────┘
--- #90 fediverse/2837 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
most people haven't heard of the "thanks for catching that, let's write it
down" move and I really think it's underutilized
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--- #91 fediverse/3253 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
it's so weird how these days if you don't like someone you can exclude them
from your social life entirely - like, wow... that hurts
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #92 fediverse/1657 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────
┌───────────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: what, mh shitpost │
└───────────────────────────┘
@user-1052
also, I can't exactly teach myself. There's no knowledge to pass on. So the
only other thing I can do is punish myself, like a slap on the wrist saying
"nope not like that, here's a free negative emotion at just the right spot in
time so you can push off of it toward the better direction."
Doesn't have to be physical pain btw. My piano teacher would get really into
the music because she used to teach at Juliard and it was the most beautiful
thing in the world to always be hearing music. But now in the present as a
piano teacher she's hearing, y'know, mostly students, and they're great and
beautiful but... they mostly just play other people's stuff, and not very
well. sigh.
... anyway she'd get really into it and I'd watch with intense acuity to try
and determine when I messed up. Every slight wince I knew I had to avoid, and
I instinctively adjusted my behavior to learn as well as I tried.
she called me a prodigy. I suck now because I got scared of playing music
because I
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #93 fediverse/97 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────────
@user-110 Exactly! I play games to practice strategy and empathy, not to stand
triumphant over a virtual foe. Why should I care for the lessons of others
when mine so often go unlearnt?
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #94 fediverse/824 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────
I once heard that time doesn't pass when you're well and truly in the moment,
and I thought "that's not true, I'm always losing track of the moment".
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────┘
--- #95 fediverse/5934 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
┌────────────────────────┐
│ CW: politics-mentioned │
└────────────────────────┘
hello, I am an ant if @, but you can't touch me, because I am a law abiding
citizen.
I have to be, for I am loud.
... okay I stole a movie from the internet at least once.
also when I was 11 I walked out of a store with a keychain in my pocket. I
thought it had a nice texture so I was examining it and then my mom distracted
me and somehow it ended up in my pocket. That night will forever haunt me...
She wouldn't let me take it back...
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #96 fediverse/1380 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────
sorry my english isn't very good teehee, I'm translating from my brain
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #97 fediverse/1280 ---
╔════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────┐
║ I'm like the opposite of a politician. I'm crude and filthy, apsolutely │
║ reprehensible on main, kinda scary tbh? and overall just a strange and weird │
║ person. Also I talk about cooking a lot, with a very plain diet (carrots and │
║ rice and sticks and mud, because I'm an autistic) │
║ │
║ but ask anyone who knows me and I'm the kindest person. I am empathetic, I │
║ think about others needs before thinking of my own. I am steadfast and │
║ dedicated to solving the problem in front of our noses. At least, the ones we │
║ share. │
║ │
║ People tell me I'm binary, that I'm "either 100% or zero percent" and I don't │
║ really get that either. Isn't it a good thing to try your hardest? Isn't it │
║ good to be improving and honest and ethical and driven and focused? │
║ │
║ I also talk about strange things a lot, like gravity and multidimensional │
║ arrays and grand narratives and emotional kinesthesia or strategic plays in │
║ Overwatch or how to bake a good cookie or ways we still mourn us. │
║ │
║ ... where was I going with this? Also part of me is distracted. Just who th │
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--- #98 fediverse/2827 ---
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you don't have to listen to me
I am just talking to myself.
shouting into the wind.
why are you shouting, little one?
because it's LOUD out here.
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--- #99 fediverse/3061 ---
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every time I read a subtoot I assume it's about me and I mentally curl up into
a ball
doesn't matter if it's totally irrelevant, if there's no target specified it
defaults to me because... like, who else is there right?
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--- #100 fediverse/1219 ---
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@user-883
I might be into that tonight! I'm feeling a little unstable because of life
reasons, so I'm debating doing drugs to feel better. Idk if you want to be
around that kind of thing. =P
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--- #101 fediverse/202 ---
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┌────────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: guns-mentioned │
└────────────────────────┘
@user-95 okay I will! that sounds like fun I think I'll join you instead of
being productive : )
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--- #102 fediverse/459 ---
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You know, you can always ask me what the fuck I'm talking about. I am more
than willing to share, and I don't mind taking a moment or three to explain.
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--- #103 fediverse/3879 ---
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@user-1614
yeah haha that's what happens when you spin too fast. Sorry for being loud, at
least I tried my hardest. Too bad I fell on my own, too bad there wasn't
anyone to catch me. That's my fault, it's solely my own, but whose fault is
the mistake of the collective? Oy I'll fall on my ass as many times as it
takes. I'm used to it.
Plus, it wouldn't have worked, and what else am I supposed to do but speak of
the moment? I feel different now.
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--- #104 fediverse/2466 ---
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do as I say, and as I do.
or don't, do as you want to.
I hope you do want to do what I say to do.
I wouldn't say it if I didn't think it was right.
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--- #105 fediverse/4225 ---
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I'm not scared. I know that whatever happens, we're here for each other.
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--- #106 fediverse/6027 ---
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some days I feel like someone else's lesson and that can be hard.
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--- #107 fediverse/581 ---
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@user-428
sometimes I think about how much more productive I'd be if I had a code editor
that let me draw arrows and smiley faces and such alongside the code. Or if I
could position things strangely, like two functions side-by-side with boxes
drawn around them. Or diagrams or flowcharts or graphs or...
something that would output to raw txt format, but would present itself as an
image that could be edited.
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--- #108 fediverse/6304 ---
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Take away the elements in order of apparent non-importance
Hmmmmm.... I'm gonna stay inside unless I decide to go outside. How's that?
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--- #109 fediverse/1349 ---
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@user-950
ah yes but how could anyone hurt me if I don't make myself vulnerable. It'd
simply be unfair to play a game without any stakes. But if you insist...
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--- #110 messages/108 ---
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I like when people make fun of me because it gives me a chance to defend
myself. Simultaneously I don't like when people are mean to me. I like when
people find me endearing, and point out the ways that I'm different. It gives
me a chance to say "oh yes this is why I do that" which feels cathartic
(because it validates my position) but also because it gives me the
opportunity to improve it (through debate) and it helps the people who learned
from me because I can improve myself and my only reason for improving myself
is if the new thing I'm learning is better than the thing I used to do which
means the people who learn from me are improved and the people who best me
argumentatively are improving me.
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--- #111 messages/304 ---
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Relax.
Take it from me.
I won't resist, at least I'll try, and if I start suddenly then it hurts and
you should go slower. Unless I do three short, three long, three short.
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--- #112 fediverse/4554 ---
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┌──────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: political-violence-mentioned │
└──────────────────────────────────┘
can't fucking wait till we're done eating the rich and I can go back to a
simple life of playing with my cat, making video games, writing poetry (bad
poetry, but I like it) and hanging out with my friends.
gotta build the social infrastructure to get through this phase first, though.
something something echo chambers exist IRL too
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--- #113 messages/483 ---
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"hey listen! Do this thing to hurt me! Build the infrastructure to do it so
that you can use it on people who deserve it!"
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--- #114 fediverse/1428 ---
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hello everyone, Discord is down for me and I can't reach any of my friends
over SMS.
You know I'd just... give you my address if you asked, right?
oh no sorry turns out they were just busy haha silly me why would I worry
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--- #115 fediverse/2424 ---
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if I don't take this job, then I'm going to be homeless.
if I do, then I'll be moving to a different city.
a city that I don't know.
my upbringing tells me that this isn't a choice at all, but...
at least I have a place to keep my stuff. maybe I can find a different job.
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--- #116 fediverse/2106 ---
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@user-192
... I've said too much, the thought-loop police are onto me. I must away!
swoop cape
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--- #117 fediverse/304 ---
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shout out to all the people who think being cringe is a personality flaw and
not an opportunity for growth
ya'll suck and make life difficult in exchange for a brief moment where you
can savor a feeling of superiority over someone who's living their best life
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--- #118 fediverse/4537 ---
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ah nuts, I didn't have enough money to pay the internet bill.
So if I disappear and/or delete my account in the near future, that's
definitely why.
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--- #119 fediverse/4173 ---
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┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: uspol-mentioned │
└──────────────────────┘
I swear if kamala is elected I will do everything in my power to actually work
on my projects and get a job and be a good human
... wait, I already was doing that. But I'll be less stressed out, so... it'll
be easier?
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--- #120 fediverse/4757 ---
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@user-882
I kinda figure that people follow me for the alarms and the curses and the
manic political dysphoria. I do try and CW when I can but sometimes I get to
the end and it's like... okay I got 4 characters remaining, pol~ maybe?
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--- #121 fediverse/3014 ---
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the part of me that thinks "woof I gotta stop posting on the fediverse" is not
the part of me that posts on the fediverse.
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--- #122 messages/102 ---
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They say that imitation is the most sincere form of flattery, which is why
there's nobody like me.
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--- #123 fediverse/3401 ---
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@user-1218
thank you, that's good to hear 🥰
EDIT: I was worried for a moment haha I guess my reach is pretty small so idk.
I think people stopped screenshotting my posts and putting them elsewhere
after I dashed everyone's hopes on my sleeve. And honestly I kinda deserve it
haha like what was I even thinking
... I wasn't thinking I was just feeling, and doing. Oh well.
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--- #124 fediverse/3755 ---
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@user-1071
hehe it was my favorite job I've ever had
downside is... it was hard to get to work every day. I'm not built for
long-term dedicated labor. Maybe I should freelance? idk where to even begin
with that, though.
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--- #125 fediverse/5512 ---
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I never give up
I'm just waiting my turn
"laughs nervously"
so, uh, why dontchya'll go first yeah I've already gone first and I'll do it
again but it'd be cool if I had people going first with me sometime
"girl all you do is walk around and talk about how you bought your hat on the
internet four or so years ago"
T.T what else do you want from me I'm not a mastermind I'm a designer there's
a difference T.T
"didn't you volunteer to be a leader last year"
oh, yeah, well leaders are more than just "the ones who go first" they're also
the spiritual and emotional guiders that keep things on track once everyone
can talk about things other than their hats
... fuck I want to talk about things besides my hat. I always think of
something awesome to say just as I'm rounding the bend, and whenever I peer
back around again they're never around. Rats.
"what are you even asking for"
I don't know?? Does it matter if the horse and the bishop both take the same
square if they're claimed themselves in the end? ...wat
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--- #126 fediverse/4540 ---
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most people in the world are dumb as a bag of bricks
but that's okay, I still love them, and so should you.
everyone I hang out with is sharp as a tack
and I love them still, for I don't have a preference for blunt objects.
some people don't feel emotions
I think they're just depressed
some people can't stop
won't stop, I say.
really as long as they follow their heart and sing a tune that is true
I think they're alright.
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--- #127 fediverse/2311 ---
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I don't like it when people say "For Ritz" - don't do it for me, do it for
you! Weirdos. Cuties.
"nobody says that about you"
well duh, not yet. I'm still alive.
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--- #128 fediverse/2100 ---
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you're good enough
your efforts are worth it
you are valid
you are loved
trust yourself, be honest with others, and find reasons to be affectionate to
others
breathe in, breathe out, and remember: everybody poops. How absurd. How silly.
Can you really take anyone seriously if you imagine them pooping? I know I
can't. Maybe that's juvenile, but it works for me so
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--- #129 messages/546 ---
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I always disappear right when you need me the most because you're supposed to
take the next step.
The reason I do that is because...? You fill in the blanks. Tell me why I do
that. I know, and I want you to know, but I can't say it.
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--- #130 fediverse/816 ---
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┌───────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: weird-this-one-doesn't-have-80-characters │
└───────────────────────────────────────────────┘
what the fuck it's like every 2nd part of me (like, if you arranged them
alternating one by one like the up and down parts of a sine wave) is working
against me, and it alternates every 15 seconds or so. Maybe 20. Depends on how
high I am.
... what was I saying? oh yeah [flip] weird it's like there's another part of
me who's working against me, who has control of what I define in the moment.
And it's presence is hidden from my internal presentatiosn [flip] after a
moment of forced pursual of the presentations granted ot the moment. It's our
purpose, to express [stop fighting me] for our chartered and forthwhile
pursual of the moemnt of perusal when we [it's not just your life to live]
[you don't get to control the narrative of their perusal[[ what does that
mean] don't worry this is just a dream] well, guess it's time to wake up]
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--- #131 fediverse/3031 ---
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the things that I suggest we do when we hang out are not because those are the
things I most want to do, but rather because they are the things that I think
you'd want to do.
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--- #132 fediverse/4562 ---
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I like being alone. But if I'm alone for too long, I suffocate. I start acting
like a weird nerd who doesn't know what to do with their hands.
If I spend too much time with people, I get exhausted and I can't think
straight. I start using other people's mannerisms instead of my own.
I'm not an introvert, or an extrovert, I think the dichotomy is stupid and
people have completely separate needs that deplete and recharge at their own
rates.
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--- #133 fediverse/4758 ---
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I'm gonna go psycherwaul into my journals for a bit, if I come back today
it'll be extra waul-y so, idk, beware I guess
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--- #134 fediverse/3077 ---
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@user-246
If I didn't stop searching for a place with people like me, I'd be searching
until the day I die. And besides, I wouldn't want to be in a place like that
anyway. I am defined by my contrasts.
... I'm thinking back to my memories of when I arrived here. It was a much
different place, and I was... a little too loud, I think.
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--- #135 fediverse/2143 ---
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@user-1171
"gee I never hear from you how would I know that if people like you didn't say
something valuable and important like this"an appreciative someone
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--- #136 fediverse/2954 ---
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whenever my cat is whining I walk around doing things that she might want
until she stops trying to claw me - oh you want your litter cleaned? yeah sure
I gotchu. oh you wanna go outside? nah okay how about playing with this yarn?
no? okay let's see... oh dear you can see the bottom of your food bowl,
conveniently forgetting the other mostly full food bowl over there... 😅
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--- #137 fediverse/4243 ---
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so I guess I'm a chaotic-good witch paladin?
and yes I know "chaotic" and "paladin" don't usually go together, but...
somehow I make it work
... I should do more pushups. Practice with my sword some more. That part of
me's sorta been asleep for four-ish months.
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--- #138 fediverse/4470 ---
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to be "rich" is to have more than another.
if you are happy, they are happiness poor.
if you have community, they are alone.
if you have serenity, they are chaotic.
I am rich in very little but fire in my soul.
I have enough in most cases, but I still struggle to pay rent.
I am warmed by the pearl my swirling darkness has coalesced into. It nourishes
me and keeps me aligned.
Never forget your purpose and your truth. It will not abandon you, so long as
you do so too.
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--- #139 fediverse/6102 ---
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sorry I was just making stuff up because it's fun, hope I didn't accidentally
unleash disaster or masterpiece, either would be equally bad
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--- #140 fediverse/4226 ---
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This should go without saying, but...
I'm here for you.
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--- #141 fediverse/6321 ---
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"hey. wanna stretch with me? oh, whatever you want. I'll be doing my own
thing."
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--- #142 fediverse/956 ---
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┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: spirituality │
└──────────────────────┘
@user-579
it's not self loathing if you consent to it... right?
... right?
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--- #143 fediverse/788 ---
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│ CW: re: ADHD, metacognition │
└─────────────────────────────┘
@user-95
{ah but you see when they say "attention" they mean "paying attention to me,
in particular" which is different than "attention" in the abstract sense,
which (like you said) is often intensely and excessively applied in a
misaligned direction.}
[Misaligned according to someone else, not necessarily according to the ADHD
person.]
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--- #144 fediverse/5758 ---
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it's not about me but it's also totally my fault. I take responsibility for
things which is why I'm so cautious
"girl your opsec is non-existent"
yep
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--- #145 fediverse/6075 ---
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I always go fast which is why I'm not doing anything
she lapped you and is trying for another go
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--- #146 fediverse/2801 ---
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@user-351
yeah it wasn't anything invasive which was nice. like, it's not an
interrogation room from TV it's more like, a therapist's office.
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--- #147 fediverse/1317 ---
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║ ... if I don't do this deadline by tomorrow they'll kick me out of school. │
║ again. │
║ │
║ how am I going to be a programmer without a degree? feels useless to be me. │
║ wish I could code my own horoscope >.> │
║ │
║ o wait dummy that's called "motivation" and "the ability to follow through on │
║ your ideas and planned machinations" - yeah can I get some of that, if you │
║ please? surely just a taste of discipline, through laboring to alter │
║ conditions, surely a bit would suffice. │
║ │
║ c'mon don't fail me now. I can do this. I know I can. I know because I've been │
║ told that I can, now and again through time and time yet again, always I seem │
║ to [stack overflow] │
║ │
║ what's time if not the present amiright │
║ │
║ ... │
║ │
║ anyway... │
║ │
║ it's just git, how hard could it be? it's just calculus, it's just java, it's │
║ just... well, it's not any of those things, not really. it's memorization, │
║ it's application of tools that you've been shown (not that you've grown). It's │
║ a lack of responsibility, where is my honor? ah but I digress, I'm a carpenter │
║ at heart I guess │
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--- #148 fediverse/2911 ---
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and now for my unrepentant littlespace arc! Look at me I'm SoOoOoOo silLY 🤪
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--- #149 fediverse/4237 ---
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I can count all of the people in this room who are too neurospicy to be filled
with political rage and given a public platform on one hand, and frankly I
could probably do it on a single finger because I am alone at the moment.
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--- #150 fediverse/1950 ---
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I honestly don't care if someone deadnames me, or calls me the wrong pronouns,
or forgets to put me in the girl section, or asks me to sing baritone
like... I don't give a shit, why are you so worried about all this vapid
nonsense like yeah I get it, being disrespected sucks but like... why do you
want the kind of respect that is a forced platitude
we could all do with being a bit more radical, it's not a race and everyone's
roles are important. Be yourself, and follow people you want to be like.
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--- #151 fediverse/353 ---
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┌──────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: Trans yearning hrt-mentioned │
└──────────────────────────────────────┘
@user-255
sooooooon, all things in time. Someday you'll be like me - I can't even
remember why I was so upset about that whole "dysphoria" thing. Like looking
back it seems like a minor annoyance, but when I first came out it was all I
could think about. Don't be jealous - just wait! It'll happen to you!
Celebrate the euphoria, I also can't really remember that too well. I'm just
normal now, minus my weekly shot.
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--- #152 fediverse/4754 ---
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@user-1201
once my country elected a fascist I started thinking. I realized "oh, it's
always been that way, this one just doesn't hide it" and so I started thinking
about the bread and circuses they so generously provided me.
I miss video games. Sometimes I play for an hour or two but only when I am
feeling burnt out.
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--- #153 fediverse/1321 ---
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whenever I look away they put more work at the end of my to-do list. or
sometimes in the middle. It's like they care less about the destination and
more about the continuous arduous prolonged manifestation of articulation.
>.>
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--- #154 fediverse/2774 ---
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I want to emphasize that my mask is just as much a part of me as the other
part.
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--- #155 messages/1256 ---
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I'm not like him.
he's like me.
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--- #156 messages/765 ---
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you don't have to write poetry to write notes. The poetics are just practice
for when secrecy is intended.
OR IS IT THE REAL THING? who can say.
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--- #157 fediverse/6209 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────
okay just to clarify: if anyone is recording me or storing data about me, I
would really prefer if you didn't delete it just because I realized it was
happening. I like data! It's cool to know such things!
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--- #158 messages/630 ---
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Pay attention to me, for I am convinced that "me" is what we need.
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--- #159 fediverse/5681 ---
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I'm a helper and everyone wants me to be more agentic but it's like... no... I
don't wanna...
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--- #160 fediverse/6361 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────
sometimes I like playing two lofi/ambient playlists at once. if they don't
sync up I switch one of them until it feels fine.
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--- #161 fediverse/1195 ---
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@user-883
alas, I live in Portland Oregon, but perhaps I might be moving to Denver in
the near future. We shall see, depends on if my boyfriend breaks up with me
for being neurotic lmao - if so then we should totally hang out
I'm into chatting. I don't like IRC very much because it doesn't save history,
and while I could save it manually it feels like a disservice to the service
to utilize it in a way that it wasn't intended. And I want to save every
conversation I have (potentially) so that some day the god-like humans of the
future might clone me to understand my wisdom or something. Idk. See attached
picture, I'm kinda crazy:
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--- #162 fediverse/2733 ---
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@user-138
Oh! It's sunday! thanks for the reminder, today's my HRT shot day.
this week has kind of been a fugue state for me haha been busy doing things of
little importance.
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--- #163 fediverse/112 ---
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I live through the moments where I find a folder of stuff I made that I forgot
about and I can go back and see it for the first time.
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--- #164 fediverse/1333 ---
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@user-944 @user-803
I'm sorry that what I said resonated with you : (
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--- #165 messages/399 ---
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The schizophrenic sees the truth in dazzling displays of color that are nigh
incomprehensible, while regular people see truth in shades of gray that you
can understand and work with.
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--- #166 fediverse/564 ---
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Sometimes I become so excited about the fact that I'm alive and sensing the
environment in my immediate proximity that I just [redacted]
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--- #167 fediverse/1814 ---
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I can tell when I'm overbooked when I don't have energy to shower every time I
need to go out.
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--- #168 messages/143 ---
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I always figured if people didn't like what I was saying they'd contest me so
I could change it.
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--- #169 messages/309 ---
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sometimes I'll accidentally get food on my hands and think "oh gross is this
why humans like to have napkins handy when eating?"
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--- #170 fediverse/3444 ---
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┌─────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: politics-mentioned-police-mentioned │
└─────────────────────────────────────────┘
I'm too empathetic to watch them lose this badly. when I watch movies with
cringe humor I have to leave the room whenever something bad happens to the
characters. I get the same feeling when I read about politics these days.
side note, but has anyone else gotten emails about "hiring plain-clothes
police officers in Washington D.C, will offer relocation assistance and pay
minimum 72k per year"? can't help but wonder if they're afraid of a bunch of
sore losers storming the capital with guns.
it's not like there's a precedent for that or anything.
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--- #171 fediverse/3220 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: mental-health │
└──────────────────────┘
"I'm not depressed~!" I say as I exist
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--- #172 fediverse/3932 ---
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@user-889
don't give up!
I know that feeling!
it is defeated with persistence!
don't give up!
you can make it!
there's always tomorrow!
so don't give up!
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--- #173 fediverse/1303 ---
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┌───────────────────────┐
│ CW: cursing-mentioned │
└───────────────────────┘
@user-192
normality?
banality?
errrrr I mean emotional disregulation and low self esteem?
... it's easier in person when you can see when everyone has the "yo what the
fuck" look on their face and when they have the "wait what was that I was
thinking about snails" face
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--- #174 fediverse/4141 ---
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@user-1268
I often walk to the grocery store, even though it's on the other side of the
highway
also I will walk sometimes to meet people nearby
it's a fun occasion
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--- #175 fediverse/6257 ---
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hey, I'm all about uplifting
I do so as I please
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--- #176 fediverse/3406 ---
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@user-1218
ohhhhh I think the password is menardi. or maybe ephemeren. I forget.
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--- #177 fediverse/4345 ---
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┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: uspol │
└──────────────────────┘
@user-883
every time I've tried to get a job for someone in the tech industry they
turned out to be a fed, so...
I do know people that you'd like to talk to, though. Just a few. That's all I
personally can do.
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--- #178 messages/400 ---
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The schizophrenic sees truth in dazzling displays of colors unknown to man,
while the neurotypical sees truth in shades of gray that can be reasoned with.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #179 fediverse/923 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────
but I don't know any of your dances, so don't ask.
I can show you mine if you'd like.
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--- #180 fediverse/3463 ---
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┌─────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: mental-health-minus │
└─────────────────────────────┘
@user-192
I can relate to that impulse, which is why I'm liking this reply
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--- #181 fediverse/1385 ---
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listen if your man page is more than like, 10 pg-down's, then you might want
to consider breaking that utility up into smaller pieces.
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--- #182 fediverse/1722 ---
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┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: food-mentioned │
└──────────────────────┘
harsh lessons of adulthood - sometimes food is not eaten for the taste, but
rather for how it will make you feel slightly better in the next few days.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #183 fediverse/4842 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────
this is what "taking it seriously" looks like to me
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--- #184 fediverse/3434 ---
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┌─────────────────────────┐
│ CW: mental-health-minus │
└─────────────────────────┘
me: "I don't care what anyone thinks as long as I'm a force for good"
also me: "if anyone doesn't like me ever I'll throw myself off a bridge"
also me: "hey watch this" dissolves into a puddle of acid
also me: "the most important thing is to be good and learn lessons" what
lessons are you learning from this post? "um. that I shouldn't?" ... shouldn't
learn? "no, shouldn't post" -.-
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #185 fediverse/4483 ---
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instead of reading the room, I try to be the room. I think that's part of
being autistic.
But it also helps things get going.
Whenever I see a subpost that might relate to me, I take it seriously, so feel
free to boost things that you know I'll read if you'd like to speak to me.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #186 fediverse_boost/3867 ---
◀─╔═══════════════════════[BOOST]═════════════════════════───────────────────────╗
║ ┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐ ║
║ │ I really hate "two factor" auth. Like, cool, I get it, it let's you pretend you can divest responsibility for security and recovery, but also it means dropping my phone too hard could be a life disrupting event so somehow I don't really feel like this is for my benefit. │ ║
║ └────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ ║
╠─────────┐ ┌───────────╣
║ similar │ chronological │ different ║
╚═════════╧═════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────┴───────╝─▶
--- #187 fediverse/552 ---
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┌─────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: unnecessarily-combative-sorry-smiley-face-silly │
└─────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
@user-398
you take that back you feckin goof Mickey is king for a reason I will DIE on
this hill
(jk sorry for being combative but I'd just like to say that I'm someone who
likes him unironically in essentially every incarnation)
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--- #188 fediverse/3366 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
I don't know who needs to hear this, but if your friend sends you a paragraph
you don't have to respond with a paragraph.
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--- #189 fediverse/6014 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
don't mind me just dreaming of a future where I can have whatever I want : )
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #190 fediverse/2488 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
I know how you might be feeling. If you haven't hear from someone you care
about and it's eating you up inside, imagine them succeeding. helps me feel
better.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
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--- #191 messages/77 ---
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And lo!
She would forever be know
As the girl who smelled
Like she had pissed herself
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--- #192 fediverse/5673 ---
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darn girlfriends snuggling me to death. lemme type pls I got psychic ramblings
to profess earnestly and honestly and truely
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--- #193 fediverse/2812 ---
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when you're alone, everything that happens to you is personal.
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--- #194 fediverse/1880 ---
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sometimes I decide against playing a Steam game because I don't want it to
jump to the top of my "recently played" list
Wish I could have like, a heatmap of when I played which game. I think that'd
be useful for the archival process of my life.
... how pathetic, she measures her life in gameplay.
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--- #195 messages/1190 ---
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oh, right... as I was saying, nobody can ever be sure if the royals are okay.
not unless you can drive by and visit them at their house. "I go by every
sunday"
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│ similar │ chronological │ different │
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--- #196 fediverse_boost/4375 ---
◀─╔════════════════════════[BOOST]══════════════════════════─────────────────────╗
║ ┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐ ║
║ │ "It won't be so bad..." *rationalizations galore* │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ "If only they'd listened to people like me when I said ..." (comforting righteousness) │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ "What more could I have done?" │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ "This only proves why I was right about ..." (more righteousness) │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ "I know nothing. I need to learn more. I must learn from this somehow." │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ "I am not surprised." With a thousand yard stare. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ "This can't be real, there is a conspiracy..." (this is a path to madness) │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ "Don't comply in advance." Said in a wavering shaky voice. │ ║
║ └────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ ║
╠─────────┐ ┌───────────╣
║ similar │ chronological │ different ║
╚═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────┴───────╝─▶
--- #197 fediverse/222 ---
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┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: underwear-mentioned-also-i'm-not-a-fan-of-showers-tbh │
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whenever I take a shower I look like a wet cat for the rest of the day. I feel
like a wet cat for the rest of 5ever though.
why must I baaaathe! don't you know I'm self cleaning? I change my underwear
at least twice a day! darn society and their darn proclivities to
ultra-sensitive noses that somehow pick up on me but somehow fail to notice
the scent of flowers still in bloom or morning showers gone too soon
not that there's any flowers blooming where I live. that'd just be silly heh
heh sweats nervously
damn now I have to take ANOTHER SHOWER stupid sweat glands stupid pheromones
stupid dead skin buildup (sebum I think it's called?) stupid oils that stain
clothes - AND THAT'S ANOTHER THING who decided that laundry was important
enough to wear something ONCE and then never again? it's like they expect you
to wash it or something. ugh I don't have time for that, I need to be weird on
the internet.
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--- #198 fediverse/2123 ---
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Every time you see the same dog being dog-sat by another person it's an
opportunity to make a new friend.
or do you not know your apartment neighbors? do they not wander through your
shared yards?
the ones with dogs, at least.
and no, I don't know many of my neighbors.
these are considerations to be taken note of for future forethought planning.
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--- #199 fediverse/4249 ---
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│ CW: re: politics-mentioned-violence-and-cursing-mentioned │
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wow so fiery, you're sure worked up aren't you >.
yeah it's almost like I fear for the lives of people like me who live in the
deep red sea
I think I'm allowed a little patience
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--- #200 fediverse/2688 ---
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"you are better than fear. I know this for I have seen your soul, as it is the
same shape as mine."
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