=== ANCHOR POEM ===
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────
 I posted my words text file all over the c it y today. not sure why. maybe I'm
 tired of this course and I don't want to let anyone down? Maybe I don't know
 what to do yet. Maybe nobody works with me because everyone's keeping it on
 the DL or whateverr?
 
 ... anyway enough typing, I'm going to go play a video game. like god intended.
                                                           ────────┐
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=== SIMILARITY RANKED ===

--- #1 fediverse/1931 ---
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 these two things took me all evening. I played some video games too. I put
 them in one so you don't have to see so many of them.
a picture of a page from the bicycle notebook.  first part is a collection of brainstorming and diagrams drawn in pursuit of Raleigh, my stab at artificial intelligence.  It's not done yet, in fact it's hardly even a design. It's more like, a thought in the mind that is slowly evolving to adapt to challenges that it might face when being implemented.  and sometimes it's like, beautiful architectures that I'm like "what could I do with these?"  anyway then it starts to devolve into kooky-dookerie about halfway through, and the rest of the notes are written in slant-form -> like, instead of reading one-after-another they sorta change tone and intonation rapidly in a cycle - it's super disorienting. Except visually it's like, tilted text, like a picture-frame that's nudged to one side and hanging from it's frame instead of it's wire holding-point.  do blind people often touch paintings? I doubt it, because it damages the painting. Alas, that materials are finite and flawed and degrade and become stone again. Good news though, sometimes pictures can carry meanings that are impossible to describe visually, but not impossible auditorily.  like, the sound of the voice in your head as you read the plaquards at a museum that displays ancient artifacts or bones of massive beasts or gemstones or science experiments or art or culture or mechanical motion displayed like clockwork and hope.  history is one of my favorite. you can find them by the side of the road. they're lovely homes 4 us many fediverse posts placed into a single image to be passed around as a bundle for people that the viewer decides might want to see them - y'know, like an artwork.
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--- #2 fediverse/5488 ---
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 okay ttyl I gotta go play video games I guess >.>
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--- #3 fediverse/5636 ---
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 I think it's ironic how I ended up posting a "things I almost posted"
 screenshot directory somewhere other than where I almost posted them.
 
 and all they saw were the outtakes.
 
 I bet they'd see a completely different point of me,
 
 but they never talk to me
 
 so they don't know me.
 
 oh well, alas, it's fine I'm sure I'm being designed.
 
 who can say, I am but at productive play, please react so I can do ongoing
 story. I learn from each and every encounter I encounterate.
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--- #4 fediverse/1880 ---
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 sometimes I decide against playing a Steam game because I don't want it to
 jump to the top of my "recently played" list
 
 Wish I could have like, a heatmap of when I played which game. I think that'd
 be useful for the archival process of my life.
 
 ... how pathetic, she measures her life in gameplay.
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--- #5 fediverse/4554 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: political-violence-mentioned │
 └──────────────────────────────────┘


 can't fucking wait till we're done eating the rich and I can go back to a
 simple life of playing with my cat, making video games, writing poetry (bad
 poetry, but I like it) and hanging out with my friends.
 
 gotta build the social infrastructure to get through this phase first, though.
 something something echo chambers exist IRL too
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--- #6 fediverse/4598 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cursing-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────┘


 I'm gonna play a fucking video game because I like video games and it's
 important to relax
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--- #7 fediverse/4336 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
 gonna play more video games, currently have 11 tabs of written posts open in
 my browser...
 
 (okay a few of them get a little off-topic, but hey I have ADHD what do you
 expect of me)
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--- #8 fediverse/97 ---
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 @user-110 Exactly! I play games to practice strategy and empathy, not to stand
 triumphant over a virtual foe. Why should I care for the lessons of others
 when mine so often go unlearnt?
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--- #9 fediverse/4388 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
 I'm sorry, but you can't play any more video games for a while. No more
 spending time on hobbies. When you meet, discuss what needs you see and how to
 fulfill them.
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--- #10 messages/610 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
 I'm sorry, but you can't play any more video games for a while. No more
 spending time on hobbies. When you meet, discuss what needs you see and how to
 fulfill them.
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--- #11 fediverse/581 ---
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 @user-428 
 
 sometimes I think about how much more productive I'd be if I had a code editor
 that let me draw arrows and smiley faces and such alongside the code. Or if I
 could position things strangely, like two functions side-by-side with boxes
 drawn around them. Or diagrams or flowcharts or graphs or...
 
 something that would output to raw txt format, but would present itself as an
 image that could be edited.
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--- #12 fediverse/5843 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────
 me when it's cold out: we should all bundle up and get through the winter,
 every year that passes is more time to gather our strength
 
 me when the temperature rises: okay so this is being handled by those guys,
 we're moving this way to do this, and - when did you say the this-and-that was
 happening? alright so when you do that-or-this, make sure that you pay
 attention to the so-and-so and don't forget to eat real meals, candy or chips
 don't count.
 
 me when the eyes are on me: imma play video games and smoke weed and be a
 useless little creature who does nothing but occasionally wanders around the
 city doing nothing for nobody and dropping notes on post-its that don't mean
 anything but are kinda cool to read
                                                           ───────┐
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--- #13 fediverse/5239 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────
 I play video games to help me think just like programmers play video games to
 help them sleep
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--- #14 fediverse/938 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────
 @user-649 
 
 same... sometimes it feels like I step on toes that I didn't know existed! I
 got tired of walking on egg shells so now I just try and religiously put
 content warnings on things that feel intense.
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--- #15 messages/740 ---
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 had a dream that we gamified all work and then put them into one single
 mega-game so whenever you wanted you could work on an arbitrary project and it
 would spin up a new game and take your inputs and use them to accomplish
 whatever was happening
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--- #16 fediverse/5782 ---
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 sometimes I post random silly [scary] things to pad out the serious things and
 I hope that's okay
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--- #17 fediverse/4754 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────
 @user-1201 
 
 once my country elected a fascist I started thinking. I realized "oh, it's
 always been that way, this one just doesn't hide it" and so I started thinking
 about the bread and circuses they so generously provided me.
 
 I miss video games. Sometimes I play for an hour or two but only when I am
 feeling burnt out.
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--- #18 fediverse/3707 ---
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 phew I'm tired of productivity, gonna play a game and fall asleep ^_^
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--- #19 fediverse/6449 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────
 currently have 20-30 tabs open with poems written but not posted.
 
 I have no idea if I'm going to post all of these. I wrote all of them in ~2
 hours, with maybe 3 or four being added as I was working on the production
 elements after the initial bingewrite.
 
 I also added a bit of context, or modified some of them that felt too cursed
 or otherwise unwieldy. Sometimes I got distracted and needed to come back and
 finish, and in those cases I only added a sentence or two because it's like
 "oh, where was I going with that? I remember what was next, but I don't know
 the further..."
 
 ... I think I might go for another. Wish me luck.
                                                           ───┐
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--- #20 fediverse/5698 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────
 you can't rely on me because I can't rely on a part of me being "out" at any
 particular moment-event-message.
 
 besides, I'm always tired, because I'm always trying as hard as I can.
                                                           ──────────┐
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--- #21 fediverse/1263 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
 @user-883 
 
 My friends and I decided to hang out for two days in a row, I guess they
 aren't tired of me yet hehe - I might be around tonight but I'll let you know!
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--- #22 messages/240 ---
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 I realized the reason it's so difficult for me to get into a new video game is
 because my perfect game existed at one point, but no longer, and all else
 pales in comparison.
 
 The make-believe games of children are without equal. They represent our inner
 truth and desires, cast upon the canvas of our experience through the outputs
 of imagination and physical exertion.
 
 I'd spend my time as a child wandering through the forest with a stick in
 hand, climbing on things and exploring. I grew up in Wyoming, and the forests
 there look like this:
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--- #23 fediverse/3645 ---
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 me, sitting down at my computer in order to be distracted:
 
 "I should make and eat a sandwich"
 
 me, sitting down at my computer with a PB&J and peanut-butter fingers:
 
 "I should be productive"
 
 me, sitting at my "work desk":
 
 "I'm hungry. And I'm bored. And I can't stop thinking about this video game I
 haven't played in a year."
 
 repeat
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--- #24 fediverse/411 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────
 I feel like I play roughly the same amount of video games during the work day
 as the average software developer. Does that mean I'm qualified?
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--- #25 fediverse/6154 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────
 it's fine I'm fine don't worry about it idk why I posted that
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--- #26 fediverse/2434 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 I spent most of today asleep. I guess that's what I get for chatting all night
 with a stranger. gonna putz around a bit, should be nice.
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--- #27 fediverse/5460 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────
 if you sit down to write and nothing comes to mind, then either nothing needs
 to be said or maybe you should spend time reading instead.
 
 ... okey dokey, time to read I guess.
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--- #28 fediverse/3008 ---
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 when I play games, the theme only matters when it's being sold to me.
 
 after, once I start playing, I stick around if the mechanics are good.
 
 hence, why I loooooove video games but spend like 30$ on them every 6 months
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--- #29 fediverse/2297 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 Lying wide awake at night with things that I want to say drifting through my
 mind one by one
 
 getting up to write them down? forgetting them all.
 
 I think I'm just gonna leave my computer online to reduce friction hehe.
 
 up and down, till everyone's in town, maybe I'll nap between tweets.
 
 [they're called toots here, dummy]
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--- #30 fediverse/6078 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
 "you're telling me they're gonna march in and unleash order on your city, with
 all the devastation it involves, and you're just gonna sit there?" ah yup
 "playing video games??" yep
 
 [mine as in my beloved, not mine as in my own]
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--- #31 fediverse/5663 ---
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 I'm going to write some lua code that doesn't do anything useful and which I
 don't share with anyone
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--- #32 fediverse/3810 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────
 doing my best to get at least one bugfix or feature done per day on my
 video-game mod. I think the regularity and discipline could do me well.
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--- #33 fediverse/4543 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
 @user-1698 
 
 Ha that does sound pretty "fun" - I take it you aren't a pianist?
 
 I smell bad because... reasons... so I am always hyper-aware of myself when
 I'm in situations like that. The idea that I might ruin someone's day by being
 there terrifies me.
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--- #34 fediverse/1225 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
 @user-883 
 
 don't worry I can sift through junk. I'll write my own using yours as a
 reference to debug why mine isn't working. "oh probably because I didn't do
 this part here"
 
 also, bad news. Guess I'm doing C programming. What should I make? I'm
 thinking Tic Tac Toe or maybe a really basic Asteroids or something
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--- #35 fediverse/4744 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cat-mentioned    │
 └──────────────────────┘


 me to my cat: "don't eat so much that you puke, okay?"
 
 me to me: "yeah I can take on another task, I'm almost done with this one and
 then I'll just do that one and maybe this one'll get back to me at the same
 time as this one which conflicts with this other thing so maybe I'll just
 puke, okay?"
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--- #36 fediverse/2991 ---
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 okay so if yesterday was a
 
 "everything sucks and I'm the worst ever"
 
 type of day, and today is a
 
 "whatever mom I don't even care"
 
 type of day, that means tomorrow will be a
 
 "I can't believe how absolutely absurd I am"
 
 type of day, and the day after a
 
 "I am indomitable nothing can stop me"
 
 kind of day, with the following being wildcards
 
 ... right? here's hoping. I like that trajectory.
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--- #37 fediverse/5785 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────
 I cast... spell of the internet!
 
 [reinstalls azerothcore]
 
 or, hear me out, or you could wander around the city, and instead of spending
 your moments on lounging or keyboard banging you could do something actually
 meaningful?
 
 but I don't wanna - don't care
 
 but I'm tired - take a nap
 
 but I'm stressed out - don't do chore
 
 but I'm lazy - no you're not
 
 but I'm overwhelmed - sit in dark
 
 but I wanna think - you can do that
 anywhere
 
 I gotta be near my computer - nope
 
 what if I wanna play games - flip $$$
 
 flipping coin isn't a real game - focus
 
 I don't like outside - outsides all it is
 
 stop taking things from me T.T - yes
 
 life used to be soooooo different
 
 it's like I was a completely different
 
 I'm strange now, almost like I got
 
 possessed like a disease [ew noooo]
 
 pls don't commit thought crimes,
 use content warnings
 
 okay but only if I can play games NOTHINGS KEEPING YOU HERE
I cast... spell of the internet!  [reinstalls azerothcore]  or, hear me out, or you could wander around the city, and instead of spending your moments on lounging or keyboard banging you could do something actually meaningful?  but I don't wanna - don't care  but I'm tired - take a nap  but I'm stressed out - don't do chore  but I'm lazy - no you're not  but I'm overwhelmed - sit in dark  but I wanna think - you can do that anywhere  I gotta be near my computer - nope  what if I wanna play games - flip $$$  flipping coin isn't a real game - focus  I don't like outside - outsides all it is  stop taking things from me T.T - yes  life used to be soooooo different  it's like I was a completely different  I'm strange now, almost like I got  possessed like a disease [ew noooo]  pls don't commit thought crimes, use content warnings  okay but only if I can play games NOTHINGS KEEPING YOU HERE
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--- #38 fediverse/2350 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 I spent about two hours today (and a good chunk of tomorrow's stamina) chasing
 a rabbit through a field. Can't help but wonder if that particular lead wasn't
 as important as leading from the front. Ah, well, we'll see.
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--- #39 fediverse/1431 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: spirituality-generic-kooky-dookerie-psychosis-schizophrenia-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 if you haven't spend hours wondering if you're god, the antichrist, a
 cognitohazard, the future president of the world, a target of aliens / the
 CIA, or any other number of common delusions... then congratulations you're
 probably not crazy
 
 but odds are you aren't magic, either.
 
 ... ehhhh "wonder" is a strong word, more like "know, trust, and believe"
 
 much better to be a witch I believe, someone with the "teehee" kind of magic
 than someone compelled to destroy humanity through the reactions of others to
 the actions of the self that are impossible to resist or fully control.
 
 BRB I'm going to leave my apartment to get groceries, leaving my door unlocked
 because that's what I always do, surely it'll be empty when I return. Surely.
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--- #40 fediverse/6393 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: ai-mentioned     │
 └──────────────────────┘


 yay I hit the 5 hour limit on claude-code! now I can play video games and
 write more issue tickets for the computer to work on for me.
 
 what's that? results? oh, I'm not interested in those. This is an art project
 you see, so clearly, clearly, the end result shouldn't matter to me, because
 all art is special or something. so says she who tries to share her art with
 everyone she sees... I wonder who yet believes?
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--- #41 fediverse/961 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────┐
 hmmmm let's see, what shall I do today?                                          │
 first I should get out of bed,                                                   │
 then I should clean my self,                                                     │
 then I should feed my self,                                                      │
 then I should stare at the wall for an hour or three because there's too many    │
 thoughts,                                                                        │
 then perhaps I'll play a strategic video game because at least that's a          │
 productive way to exercise my brain                                              │
 I should probably get back to my friends,                                        │
 and oh dear my cat wants some attention.                                         │
 This place is a mess, let me just clean a bit                                    │
 now I'm so tired I accidentally take a nap.                                      │
 Good morning! Oh, it's the afternoon. Well, time for more food.                  │
 After handling the essentials, I can tuck in and relax                           │
 by doomscrolling on Mastodon.                                                    │
 Then perhaps a bit later I'll message my boyfriend (he won't respond)            │
 and boy are there so many of these dirty dishes!                                 │
 Well, standing up is exhausting,                                                 │
 so I should probably fall back asleep.                                           │
 What a productive day we've been having,                                         │
 for all of this past week.                                                       │
 Maybe I'll do some drawing, maybe a poem or two                                  │
 maybe I'll run out of characters in this toot, or m                              │
A screenshot based continuation of the end of the post, which went over the character limit by 36 characters. Of note is that this wasn't included in the original post, it was added later in an edit to be silly.  The text reads:  "maybe I'll run out of characters in this toot, or maybe I'll finish it just for you. [smiley face]"
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--- #42 fediverse/3722 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────
 @user-1218 
 
 playing one of my 4 gameboys, reading some of my books or journals, using
 their own brought devices, playing with my cat (she's not sociable but if you
 don't mind her claws she can fight and that's kinda fun) watching something on
 the TV, talking with other people, making / eating food, um... sleeping... and
 "sleeping"... idk what else tho. Drawing? Getting stoned? I have lots of bad
 edibles.
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--- #43 fediverse/5208 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────
 ┌──────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: capitalism-suicide-mentioned │
 └──────────────────────────────────┘


 Look, when I promised "Revolution or Death" I got pretty busy and kinda forgot
 to do the "dying" part, and by now it'd be a little awkward if I offed myself
 for no visible reason, so... How about we try again this summer? Maybe in a
 month or two? I'll try to keep the fire burning a bit longer this time.
 
 plus I'm better at playing the piano now so maybe that'll help somehow.
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--- #44 fediverse/3234 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────┐
 ┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐               │
 │ CW: ritz-is-fucking-stupid-I-guess-oh-whoops-cursing-mentioned │               │
 └────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘               │
 my understanding is that anyone with my IP address could make my heart bleed     │
 due to a hardware vulnerability on my motherboard. Though you might have to      │
 get past my decrepit ancient linksys EA 3500 router from 2012 first.             │
 unrelated, but does anyone want my IP address? I don't have any remote           │
 backups, so if you hate me now would be a great time to show me how despised I   │
 am. Alternatively you could try searching for anything evil to ensure that I     │
 can be trusted. You're gonna find mostly video games and source-code that I      │
 didn't write though. But also all my notes in directories that are               │
 non-standard, meaning you'll have to look around a bit. I leave little notes     │
 everywhere I go, so that I can remind myself how to do things in the             │
 directories I revisit months later. It's so weird how sometimes the things I     │
 wrote stop working after a while even if I didn't update my system lmao          │
 what is it with artists and self-immolation? "I never thought I'd actually di    │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #45 fediverse/1317 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────┐
 ... if I don't do this deadline by tomorrow they'll kick me out of school.       │
 again.                                                                           │
 how am I going to be a programmer without a degree? feels useless to be me.      │
 wish I could code my own horoscope >.>                                           │
 o wait dummy that's called "motivation" and "the ability to follow through on    │
 your ideas and planned machinations" - yeah can I get some of that, if you       │
 please? surely just a taste of discipline, through laboring to alter             │
 conditions, surely a bit would suffice.                                          │
 c'mon don't fail me now. I can do this. I know I can. I know because I've been   │
 told that I can, now and again through time and time yet again, always I seem    │
 to [stack overflow]                                                              │
 what's time if not the present amiright                                          │
 ...                                                                              │
 anyway...                                                                        │
 it's just git, how hard could it be? it's just calculus, it's just java, it's    │
 just... well, it's not any of those things, not really. it's memorization,       │
 it's application of tools that you've been shown (not that you've grown). It's   │
 a lack of responsibility, where is my honor? ah but I digress, I'm a carpenter   │
 at heart I guess                                                                 │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #46 fediverse/3302 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
 "this game is too hard" she whined, as she played on the hardest difficulty
 setting
 
 "this game is too long" she pleaded, as she failed to get absorbed by the
 story and characters
 
 "this game is too fast" she avoided, as life comes at ya once and then it's
 gone
 
 "I'll never get another chance to be who I am right now" she remarked, as she
 considered how society is designed not to have the best life,  but to extract
 labor from us. That's not what our ideal should be, she thinks to me, and I'm
 like... bro figure your shit out you're harshing my mellow
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #47 fediverse/5961 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
 @user-138 
 
 maybe it's evil hackers - idk that's beyond my expertise - good luck : )
 
 (I'd need to see the piece of technology to work on it. I'm a hardware kinda
 [girl, but pronounced guy])
                                                           ──────┐
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--- #48 fediverse/4072 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
 I like games that test my reflexes
 
 I also like games that test my wit
 
 but most of all I like games that test my patience with strategy
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #49 messages/312 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────
 Okay. Consider: if I'm good, and hearing what I say makes you feel bad, then
 what does that tell you about you?
 
 Why else would you hear what I say if not to reflect upon yourself? And why
 would the good reflect away from the types of things that make you a suitable
 fit for capitalism?
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #50 fediverse/169 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────────
 @user-95 one of the most empathetic people I ever met on VR chat was consoling
 me with their mic off while I was oversharing about some stupid things people
 did to me in the past. things that stupid me thought were okay and actively
 encouraged because I was stupid. anyway when their mic was off their body
 language spoke for them. I'll try that next time.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #51 fediverse/825 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────┐
 in the past, for most of there day, there was just... nothing to do. it's        │
 like, nothing to take up your time, nothing to be pulled toward the present.     │
 but when I was growing up, I had access to video games. and movies. and later,   │
 TV, after the internet, which was a weird combination of ordering of events.     │
 Almost like because of that, I'd have a different interpretation of events.      │
 yeah but like, there's always a continuation of implemented support, [that's a   │
 weird way to express "the state of being shown news broadcasts over a period     │
 of time, measured in terms of engagement"]                                       │
 ... what was I saying? oh yeah what I'm doing here is unethical, like            │
 obviously I shouldn't be shouting in such a public place. Why would I do it if   │
 not for an intense and extreme feeling of being ignored or un-[trusted, worthy   │
 of guiding direction based on merit] gosh merit is such a tricky concept too,    │
 like how is it measured, and {that doesn't matter                                │
 ... what was I saying oh yeah I should probably go shout into a void that        │
 nobody ca                                                                        │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #52 fediverse/4835 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────
 sorry for posting so much, I was trying to put on a show for my girlfriend
 
 "hey check out how many posts I can make in a 2 hour timeframe"
 
 by the way if you want to start talking to someone, just start playing the
 same game they're playing and see if they reach out.
 
 doesn't matter if you feel like it
 
 just fuckin' do it
 
 if they want to talk to you they might play a game you really like
 
 (but I get boooooored of games, I don't wanna play the same 200 all life
 long!!)
 
 ugh okay fine you can have as many games as you want, just... don't buy too
 many
 
 (how many is too many?)
 
 um. use your best judgement.
 
 (how much does a dollar cost?)
 
 ... okay I'll get you one every once in a while.
 
 (neat!)
 
 ... anyway so yeah use steam if you wanna get in contact with someone,
 sometimes it's just nice to say hi, yeah, like "hey how ya doin' okay ttyl"
 just catchin' up with the gals
 
 helps because you can sense changes in their demeanor
 
 (why does everyone always have an agenda)
 
 because they're secret agents duh. And I'm
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #53 fediverse/2399 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: food-mentioned   │
 └──────────────────────┘


 Rice has been eaten. I threw a cookie on-top for good measure. I think that
 was a good decision.
 
 I'm going to the park. I don't know what I'll find, but I'm sure there'll be
 fireworks.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #54 fediverse/3932 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
 @user-889 
 
 don't give up!
 
 I know that feeling!
 
 it is defeated with persistence!
 
 don't give up!
 
 you can make it!
 
 there's always tomorrow!
 
 so don't give up!
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #55 fediverse/3929 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
 are you about to delete a post that you thought was funny, but actually wasn't
 once you wrote it down and read it to yourself?
 
 STOP
 
 write it down on a post-it and put it under your desk or behind a drawer
 
 put it in a .txt file in a random directory on your computer
 
 send it as a text message to yourself
 
 write it down, take a picture of it, and then burn the paper
 
 y'know, typical stuff like that
 
 do this and I guarantee you won't regret it
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #56 fediverse/3823 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────
 "sometimes I don't want to be optimistic sometimes I just want to complain"
 
 oh yeah well what if I want to be optimistic at all times as a coping
 mechanism huh you don't have to agree with me
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #57 fediverse/3776 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────
 whenever repeating letters like thiiiiiiis  or thisssss make sure if you're
 doing K's that you have at least four
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #58 fediverse/5174 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────
 alright I'm in a "if you want me, come tell me" kind of mood, so if you want
 me, come tell me.
 
 in the meantime, I'm going to be working on making silly little desktop games
 which do nothing and mean nothing and are not useful or valuable in any way.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #59 fediverse/3834 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────
 ┌────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────┘


 some people prepare for revolution like a boy gets ready for a party
 
 others do so like a girl packing for a weekend trip to vegas
 
 I do it like a kid who forgot the paper was due on monday in 7th period and so
 spends their entire lunch period writing it (missing 4th in the process
 because the conclusion paragraph was giving me difficulty)
 
 but I think no matter how you do it, we're all just waiting for something to
 happen.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #60 fediverse/4014 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
 I don't know about you, but "trying my hardest" involves giving up sometimes.
 
 How else are you to know your limits if you don't test your boundaries? And,
 after finding that there's nowhere else for you to go, you turn around and
 "give up", until you're ready for your next expedition.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #61 fediverse/1319 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────
 I'm a spirit of the forest and stone who wanted to learn how to spell in order
 to make pretty colors and games on computers.
 
 I don't care about your corporatocracy, though I'll learn if it means you'll
 give me food to eat.
 
 ... I'm procrastinating aren't I
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #62 fediverse/6271 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────
 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: hypothetical worst case fascism reality check │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 @user-641 
 
 it's practice. you never know when you might need to blend in. really it's
 just useful as discipline, good practice to be in. I think it's okay if we
 reduce our own functionality? actually? sometimes it's good to use different
 email clients. hey do you know how to mathematically encrypt things well
 neither do I because the designers of the computer system decided that wasn't
 a very common usecase I guess.. jmean it's not like they'd spend all that
 computer resources [THEY'RE SO FAST] on thinking about correlations in your
 predicted pathway narratively through life. "ah help I'm in a psyop" haha yeah
 we do those all the time "so uhhhh I guess we'll just talk to people and see
 how they do?" wow okay it's sure nice to be part of a civil government, I
 think we can find our way to the lumber producers just fine thank you very
 much.
 
 ... oops sorry, a baby did electronics arts (challenge everything) I'm a
 little silly don't mind me brb I gotta go see~
 it's practice. you never know when you might need to blend in. really it's just useful as discipline, good practice to be in. I think it's okay if we reduce our own functionality? actually? sometimes it's good to use different email clients. hey do you know how to mathematically encrypt things well neither do I because the designers of the computer system decided that wasn't a very common usecase I guess.. jmean it's not like they'd spend all that computer resources [THEY'RE SO FAST] on thinking about correlations in your predicted pathway narratively through life. "ah help I'm in a psyop" haha yeah we do those all the time "so uhhhh I guess we'll just talk to people and see how they do?" wow okay it's sure nice to be part of a civil government, I think we can find our way to the lumber producers just fine thank you very much.  *... oops sorry, a baby did electronics arts (challenge everything) I'm a little silly don't mind me brb I gotta go see~*
                                                           ────┐
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--- #63 fediverse/2120 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
 sometimes I think performing my art was just an excuse to use Linux. At least,
 some of my art.
 
 But hey, I'm not complaining, it's awesome.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #64 fediverse/3794 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────
 dear everyone in every friends list I've ever made, on social media, in video
 games, and in the contacts on my phone:
 
 I miss you. I hope you're doing well.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #65 fediverse/6111 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────
 whoops forgot to post these last night, how silly of me, surely there wasn't a
 reason I better just hit that blue button on all of them to be safe
screenshot of the post so the dear readers (the ones with or without antlers) can see the blue button in reference to the post which says post.
                                                           ─────┐
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--- #66 fediverse/851 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────
 @user-599 
 
 these are the kinds of things I say to myself all the time. I don't know why,
 but it feels true so I think it.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #67 fediverse/3437 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────
 ┌─────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: mental-health-minus │
 └─────────────────────────────┘


 @user-579 
 
 my problem is figuring out which thoughts are intrusive and which are actually
 mine
 
 I usually err on the side of "would you want your sister to do this" or "how
 would you feel if your mom told you that" or "do you think a cute sweet soft
 cat would ever think such a thing" and that usually works.
 
 usually.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #68 fediverse/3856 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────
 I'm tired of working as hard as I can and still ending up wrong
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #69 messages/572 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
 I am not a worker 
 
 Though I try and try, I burn right out and through 
 
 I wish I was a worker, able to apply my trade or skill 
 
 But I'm not 
 
 I do hope we can be allies, still
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #70 fediverse/2041 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
 @user-1049 
 
 I haven't heard of that but I'll look into it! Honestly I'm more likely to
 write my own script, it shouldn't be too hard just altering the /etc/hosts
 file and then changing it back in ~15 minutes with a cron-job, as Nikky says
 down below. I like things that I make myself because then if it breaks I know
 who to blame! And who to go to to fix it. >: )
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #71 fediverse/1349 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────
 @user-950 
 
 ah yes but how could anyone hurt me if I don't make myself vulnerable. It'd
 simply be unfair to play a game without any stakes. But if you insist...
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #72 fediverse/5374 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────
 @user-138 
 
 me neither... guess it's in-person for me.
 
 [a mysterious "they" then proceeds to set up microphones everywhere I might go]
 
 ah nuts why are all these people carrying phones around
 
 [they already know who I am, and I don't really want to be someone else, so]
                                                           ───────────┐
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--- #73 fediverse/5136 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────
 not really, I guess. Nobody will hire me because I don't really want to get
 hired. Sounds boring, doing the same thing every couple days. I'd rather stay
 at home in my [underwear/pajamas] and waste the day away with kittens and
 care. why? why? what are you doing? she asks. The less you can do, the more
 power will be granted to you. Save it for another time, when things actually
 matter.
 
 but today, does, matter, because today dictates your latters. Tomorrow is
 predicated. on today. and today is all that you have. [this paragraph in the
 style of alec baldwin]
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #74 fediverse_boost/4925 ---
◀─[BOOST]
  
  still waiting to find the energy and headspace to write an irritated blog post about why the fact that most toolchains are like 80% of the learning curve for those who are just getting into programming (especially on windows)  
  
                                                            
 similar                        chronological                        different 
─▶

--- #75 fediverse/770 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────
 @user-192 
 
 wow, that sounds like a lot. I guess no matter how humans are organized they
 tend to fight a lot... Or maybe interaction breeds drama? It's strange to me
 but I'm sure it felt right in the moment. I hope nobody's feelings were too
 hurt... Defederation feels like such a permanent thing, like putting someone
 on your ignore list in a video game or something. Except, like, blocking a
 whole World of Warcraft guild? ? ? so strange.
 
 Did it... help? I mean, do you think people were happier afterwards?
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #76 messages/910 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────
 all you need is to be steam friends with one person and then your whole
 organization knows what you're trying to say with game titles
 
 (I just like games)
                                                           ─────────┐
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--- #77 fediverse/612 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
 Look all I'm saying is if I had an acolyte or two then my insane ramblings
 could be filtered and parsed by a real actual human instead of being copied
 wholesale onto the internet, where the inconsequential or inconceivable ones
 are left to rest alongside the gifts of knowledge from another realm.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #78 fediverse/1718 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────
 dear old people - did you know computers don't need to have buttons? You can
 literally just type what you want to make happen (if you know the magic spell)
 and it'll just, do that thing
 
 how cool is that
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #79 fediverse/718 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
 @user-547 
 
 That feeling when you get to the end of a paragraph and think "why do I have
 this extra parenthesis )? Oh yeah I opened it up waaaaay up here" and then you
 reread what you wrote and think
 
 perfect, no notes
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #80 fediverse/5696 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────
 hey does anyone wanna go over my code for this text adventure game thingy that
 I spent 2 days on so far?
some computer code some computer code some computer code some computer code
                                                           ──────────┐
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--- #81 fediverse/190 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: oh y'know        │
 └──────────────────────┘


 @user-95 sometimes it feels like I have no information. nothing on social
 media can be trusted and everything we share could be automated. perhaps the
 human race really is doomed, or perhaps it's under it's place. Just think of
 what we could do with programmable matter - a world suited to our every
 desire. I think the beauty of humanity is it's potential. we've come so far
 and done so much, but tomorrow is ever before us. what's next for our fateful
 kind? we shall see, but for now I'm going to play video games T.T
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #82 fediverse/5456 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────
 today I'm gonna paint a house and tomorrow I'm gonna go to the park.
 
 if I can't do that then I'll try tomorrow.
                                                           ───────────┐
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--- #83 fediverse/5353 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────
 some of my favorite games are behind me and I can't describe how happy I am to
 have known here
                                                           ───────────┐
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--- #84 fediverse/6209 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────
 okay just to clarify: if anyone is recording me or storing data about me, I
 would really prefer if you didn't delete it just because I realized it was
 happening. I like data! It's cool to know such things!
                                                           ────┐
 similar                        chronological                        different════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────┘

--- #85 fediverse/4296 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
 @user-1655 
 
 why don't we just weaponize email and send json to each other that ends up
 parsed, interpreted, and presented on the end-user's computer using whatever
 client we want?
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #86 fediverse/2104 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
 @user-192 
 
 oooooo yeah I usually try and reply to my old post with any new information. I
 never get the chance to think the same thoughts twice because when I was
 younger I had problems with thought-loops where I'd think something like "darn
 I could have handled that social situation better" and before you know it I'd
 be rocking myself to sleep trying to stop thinking negative thoughts about
 myself.
 
 So I broke my brain a little and now I can't think the same thing more than
 once, which is part of why it's so hard for me to finish projects. Alas.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #87 fediverse/1477 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────
 @user-883 
 
 hmmmm I'm running mediamtx on the same computer that I'm running the streaming
 script on. I'll try with 127.0.0.1
 
 I don't think I updated my system since it was working last time. I'll scroll
 through our chat and see if I can find any hints.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #88 fediverse/5517 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────
 ... what was I thinking about again? oh yes video games are fun because they
 are a form of play, and all humans love to play. it is natural to their forms,
 just like it is natural to the form of a slinky to slink down stairs.
                                                           ───────────┐
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--- #89 fediverse/1243 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
 @user-883 
 
 hey sorry for ditching you yesterday, hope you had a good night ^_^
 
 I feel much better today.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #90 fediverse/4024 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
 my cat doesn't know that my family is my family. She thinks they're just some
 other people who visit the house.
 
 but they're special to me, as all people are, and I think she takes notice.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #91 fediverse/4200 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: drugs-mentioned  │
 └──────────────────────┘


 "doing too many drugs" is a traitorous act, abusive really, to your past self,
 and their hopes and dreams.
 
 or maybe your past self owes you a debt, for they never thought to think of
 you. What are you to aspire to if not the dreams of your past?
 
 and now you're here. wherever "here" is here...
 
 ...
 
 ... wait, you wanted me to talk? it's now! It's the present!
 
 ah nevermind. you were twelve years old when you first set eyes upon this game:
 
 https://youtu.be/qeNhQQXvpxQ
 
 bam, there ya go, there's yer story, he was gonna give all the imp balls to
 the last one at the end, to say "you were truly the strongest, here, have
 these precious stones of your kin"
 
 but he never got there, so they died with him, a thief.
 
 ... the end...
 
 (too final, I think - maybe we could spin it into a "part two"?)
 
 ah, I'll try I guess? dunno how. maybe he could wander the spirit world and
 find his traitorous body, the one that kept his soul as a home. Somewhere
 it'll turn up, and then he'll be ready and free from his roam...
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #92 fediverse/4855 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────
 "you should be acting like these people want to destroy you."me, to me
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────┘

--- #93 notes/running-with-rifles ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────
 this game is what we are missing
 thank goodness for that
 for if this is missing in our timeline
 we'll be better off at last
 we can have games, stories, and practice wars
 but none of them are precious
 precious implies worth
 they are worth nothing but entertainment
 no problem solving utility
 nothing of value
 save for perhaps the spatial awareness and strategization that comes
 from being a part of such a deadly ba-lance.
 
 anyway game time teehee just for me, don't worry about it I'll show
 you why it's a HORRID THING
 that won't be coming to our shores, no siree
 
 bye
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #94 fediverse/1841 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
 curling up in a ball and thinking about crying for hours is the same as
 crying. If a little bit less of a release.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #95 fediverse/4969 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────
 what if I played video games all day so everyone knew I was harmless
 
 maybe someday I'll give them up again
 
 for the... third time now? I think?
 
 heh maybe. I do enjoy the feeling of being unstoppable.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #96 fediverse/5185 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────
 frankly it makes a ton of sense to me that computer programmers would have a
 game playing in the monitor. Gotta keep those brains active after all.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #97 fediverse/5029 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────
 went on a walk with my dad today. it was fun. took him to various places.
 showed off various things. "hey check out where I hangout most weekends" and
 "hey don't clean the dishes in my kitchen it's okay" and "don't drive too
 fast, this area curves up ahead" and "hey meet my friends from town who you
 have something with common with" and "I like this view when it rains" and
 "don't forget to go to the bathroom" and "oatmeal is good with carrots and
 sharp dried fruits" and "here's my favorite thai place" and "I made this after
 I dreamed of you" and "hey wanna hear my product pitch" and "this is my
 favorite kind of beer" and "I miss home."
 
 picture unrelated.
a picture of denver with some spots labelled
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #98 fediverse/5659 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────
 it's not a game, but all I know how to do is play.
 
 I can't do everything
 
 ideally, I'd do nothing.
 
 wei wu wei and all that
                                                           ──────────┐
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--- #99 fediverse/814 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────┐
 ah that's weird, I don't usually cry. I wonder what's going on. I should         │
 probably put myself on psychiatric drugs. Surely it's an expression of the       │
 implementation of my impending doom.                                             │
 ... what are you even saying bro                                                 │
 ... um, hang on feels like some of the circuitry is off. is something wrong in   │
 my brain? yeah that's surely it, surely nothing I say would resoinate with       │
 anyone that has a non-malfunctioning brain. Surely I don't speak of logical      │
 failures in the hard founded truths of our asset [society I think? like, our     │
 conditions, our institutions, our {gosh that just... does not translate}] um     │
 right what was I saying                                                          │
 oh yeah there's this game I'm really into called Knave, it's like D&D            │
 except the rules are very fewer. Like there's onyl 11 pages in the rulebook      │
 and it's mostly taken up by random roll tables. Like, everything boings down     │
 to a few simple rules, like rock paper scissors, or go-fish, or something like   │
 that with just afew mechanids. something timeless and pure, something that is    │
 isolated and en                                                                  │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #100 fediverse/1535 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────
 I only take things that aren't mine if they're in the trash. Or near the
 trash. Or in a store.
 
 so weird how the store won't let me leave until I give them some of my
 dollars. This quartermaster drives a hard bargain!
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #101 fediverse/6292 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────
 I'm stuck. I don't know how to leverage whatever talents I have into making
 things happen. Maybe I should seek advice from a wise elder...
                                                           ────┐
 similar                        chronological                        different════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────┘

--- #102 fediverse/3992 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
 gamers compulsively say "gg" after every match but I think the best games are
 the ones that are even - neck and neck - could go either way - always a tense
 struggle
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #103 fediverse/3462 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────
 ┌─────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: mental-health-minus │
 └─────────────────────────┘


 "why didn't you say anything? why didn't you ask for help?"
 
 because then you might have done something about it, and don't you know I
 deserve to decay?
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #104 fediverse/3574 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────
 @user-1564 
 
 I love the concept of this! Maybe if HTTP is too complex, you could try
 another simpler server? I don't know the complexity of the programs I use
 every day, but I'm sure there's one that's very simple. Even just a simple IRC
 style chat server that just... sends text from person A to person B depending
 on their username (like a glorified Router or Switch)
 
 Reminded of this video tbh...:
 
 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gGfTjKwLQxY
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #105 fediverse/4843 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────
 just because someone did something one way and it worked, doesn't mean you
 have to do it that way again.
 
 but you should have a reason why you aren't doing it that way.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #106 fediverse/2292 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 I don't know who needs to hear this after staying up all night driving, but
 it's ideal to get where you're going with at least a day to rest. The body can
 only do so much, and isn't it better to be fresh?
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #107 fediverse/3909 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
 I don't really like singleplayer games
 
 sometimes a multiplayer game is too much effort to play with extra players,
 like Factorio where like anytime I'd play with other people they'd just kinda
 fuck off and do their own thing (whatever, I wanted to design a factory
 together, not play singleplayer together >.>)
 
 sometimes a multiplayer game has no players, RIP
 
 sometimes a multiplayer game has incredibly skilled players who shit on noobs
 and don't teach, RIP
 
 and sometimes a multiplayer game has no IRL friends that are into it,
 (personal RIP then)
 
 ... anyway, games are fun and we should play more of them. I wish I didn't
 have so much time to waste, but hey I guess that's where I'm comfortable, so...
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────┘

--- #108 fediverse/2881 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 "never lose your totem"
 
 I only lose things when in motion. at rest I know where everything is.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #109 fediverse/4345 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: uspol        │
 └──────────────────────┘


 @user-883 
 
 every time I've tried to get a job for someone in the tech industry they
 turned out to be a fed, so...
 
 I do know people that you'd like to talk to, though. Just a few. That's all I
 personally can do.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #110 fediverse/5441 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────
 I just really like video games I guess??
                                                           ───────────┐
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--- #111 fediverse/1246 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
 @user-883 
 
 hehe if I don't understand how it works it's difficult for me to use things.
 My Linux friends get so exasperated with me because I'm like "cool script
 gimme like 2 days to figure it out" and they're like "bro just use these
 flags" and I'm like "no"
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #112 fediverse/4642 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────
 i type too much, gtg to sleep.
 
 my cat yells at me whenever the click-clack starts to bother her ears.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────┘

--- #113 fediverse/4894 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────
 if you play any of my favorite games, there's a chance we've played together
 ^_^
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #114 fediverse/1503 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────
 ┌─────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: vague-gesturing-at-paranoia-I-think │
 └─────────────────────────────────────────┘


 part of me kinda wants to be the kind of nerd that writes down the names of
 every file that's permanently stored on my computer so that I can verify in my
 own handwriting or perhaps using a type of code that the files on my computer
 were placed there intentionally and not used to discredit or implicate me in
 something I had no intentions of being associated with
 
 phew idk what that means but surely it's important
 
 something something "file creation dates are just bits to be flipped"
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent═══════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────┘

--- #115 fediverse/4676 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────
 ... but I needed to choose lawful-good at character creation in order to play
 a paladin.
 
 the guard looks at you with confusion, decides you're hallucinating and
 dangerous (because of the sword) and forcibly detains you
 
 wait, what did you think I was going to say? Did you think I was going to
 advocate for crimes on a public forum?? what am I a gopher? do you take me for
 a lemur in jamaica? am I truly so triceratops to you that you'd think I'd do
 something so washing machine? Get real, I'd never byzantium my way into such a
 utterly coherent and clearly intentional and not at all arcane situation.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────┘

--- #116 messages/214 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
 Gonna take a break from this whole thing. I got a sign that I'm a bad person,
 twice. To confirm. I need to change, and since I don't know what I'm just
 going to try and do nothing for a bit.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent══════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────┘

--- #117 fediverse/1428 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────
 hello everyone, Discord is down for me and I can't reach any of my friends
 over SMS.
 
 You know I'd just... give you my address if you asked, right?
 
 oh no sorry turns out they were just busy haha silly me why would I worry
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #118 messages/911 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────
 literally zero secret messages in the game titles. I just feel like playing
 one or another because of the *gameplay*
                                                           ─────────┐
 similar                        chronological                        different═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────┘

--- #119 fediverse/1309 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────
 @user-883 
 
 just realized when I got disconnected it gave me a different username, so if
 you've been messaging me I haven't been getting it. Ooops. relogging now to
 try and fix it.
Image attachment
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #120 fediverse/4227 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
 I'm wasting time.
 
 face them
 
 my soul tells me
 
 for some reason
 
 I can't stop writing poetry
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #121 fediverse/1708 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────
 @user-246 
 
 people who don't write have no idea who they are. perhaps in time they will
 know enough to describe themselves with newfound language they never knew how
 to wield.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────┘

--- #122 fediverse/4654 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────
 ┌────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cannabis-and-other-drugs-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────────────────────┘


 gonna quit drugs for a bit, gotta recover from a recent haste spell that I
 cast. Probably a bit earlier than intended I should add. Next time I'll
 definitely say "keep this in your back pocket" instead of "hey here's a haste
 spell for no reason at all" like what the heck were you even thinking, powers
 that be?? [that guide me??]
 
 who has power over you? If someone bears responsibility but not fault for a
 mental illness, then surely those who are set to a task bear responsibility
 for it's completion if not for it's ideation. Ah, who can say, maybe me from a
 year ago might have some thoughts but I sorta ground them into the dirt until
 I couldn't walk.
 
 [girl what are you even talking about go to sleep] yeah yeah okay
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #123 fediverse_boost/778 ---
◀─[BOOST]
  
  a message to all my haters!                                                 
                                                                              
  i’m sorry i’m sorry i’m sorry i’m sorry i’m sorry i’m sorry what did i do wrong i’ll do anything to fix it i’m so sorry please i’ll do anything to get you to stop hating me i’m sorry i’m sorry i’m sorry i’m sorry i’m sorry i’m sorry  
  
                                                            
 similar                        chronological                        different 
─▶

--- #124 fediverse/4537 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
 ah nuts, I didn't have enough money to pay the internet bill.
 
 So if I disappear and/or delete my account in the near future, that's
 definitely why.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────┘

--- #125 fediverse/3961 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: witcherie        │
 └──────────────────────┘


 Well, I failed the mandate of heaven last year, and I failed the trial of the
 hero this summer, what's next? I'll do my best at those as well,  so the next
 person has an easier time of it.
 
 unrelated, but today I saw a bald eagle outside my apartment. Well, I'm not
 sure if it was bald but it "KREEEEEE"'d like they do. Plus it had a white head
 and a yellow beak, but I'm not an ornithologist so idk. It perched on a tree
 that I could spy on from my hammock through my binoculars, and I swear it was
 eye-ing my fat juicy cat through the bars of my porch's railing. They have
 excellent vision.
 
 Might be related, we'll see.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #126 fediverse/2496 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 ... zzz ZZZ zzz ...
 
 if sleep won't come I'll write down the thoughts that are keeping me up. that
 usually makes it easier.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #127 fediverse/1293 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: fedi meta, the bad space, fediblock, misleading and untrue cw, uspol, speedrunning discourse, industrial revolution, aquarium tips │
 └──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 @user-921 
 
 where tf is all this discourse I always hear about like what are ya'll talking
 about
 
 ... are you talking about me
 
 [silly intrusive thoughts teehee pay no mind]
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #128 fediverse/5841 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────
 I find maybe one or two days a week to work on my projects. About one or two
 days to be spent publicly. The rest of the time I'm handling myself, my
 chores, my girlfriends, and various mundane things.
                                                           ───────┐
 similar                        chronological                        different═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────┘

--- #129 fediverse/4463 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
 at this point in time you probably shouldn't be forming NEW online communities
 unless you're part of an OLD community that just isn't radical enough. And
 then you should try and MERGE communities into larger, more geographically
 concentrated ones.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #130 fediverse/2286 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: uspol-food-mentioned │
 └──────────────────────────┘


 ... dangit, these sandwiches are getting kinda gross. Guess I'm gonna have to
 eat them myself, which, uh... idk what I expected xD
 
 sometimes you just have all this energy, right? and you don't know what to do
 with it, so... sandwiches. And hey, sandwiches are cool, they're a pretty neat
 anti-hunger tool! but uhhhh idk if I really want to eat six whole sandwiches
 myself. I'm gonna do it though hehe wish me luck [ding] ah nuts my rice and
 beans are done, hang on lemme eat those first
 
 [passes out from exhaustion]
 
 exhaustion can be cured with a nap
 
 exertion can be cured with water and a few rest days
 
 trauma can be allayed for at least a few days with soul food and compassion.
 maybe laughter too, depending on the mood.
 
 fear can be bolstered with a smile, a wink, and a courageous act,
 
 and loss is just change you didn't consent to.
 
 they won't consent too, so let's give them some change to tolerate.
 
 [internally salivating over all the piles of weaponry that I envision them
 surrendering]
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────┘

--- #131 fediverse/5662 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────
 don't work with me.
 
 work around me.
 
 don't talk to me.
 
 talk about me.
 
 don't share with me.
 
 I deserve nothing.
 
 don't take from me.
 
 I have nothing.
 
 -radio-radio-remedy-
                                                           ──────────┐
 similar                        chronological                        different══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────┘

--- #132 fediverse/4026 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
 why is everyone so confused about how I turned out?
 
 I literally spent my whole childhood telling stories to myself
 
 (inspired by the world, and stories I had read, with mechanics like games I
 had played)
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────┘

--- #133 fediverse/6278 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────
 @user-1429 
 
 do something fun and hard like walk to seattle or install linux on a toaster
 or write happy notes on post-its and leave them in public places or make art
 and leave it in a public place or~
                                                           ────┐
 similar                        chronological                        different════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────┘

--- #134 fediverse/3351 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
 privacy doesn't mean anything on the internet to me because privacy on the
 internet doesn't mean anything to "them"
 
 gestures vaguely, maybe winks once or twice and/or presents an emphasis face
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────┘

--- #135 fediverse/4804 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────
 I love it when wine doesn't work because it "failed to open program.exe"
 
 ... okay, can you tell me why it failed?
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────┘

--- #136 fediverse/5681 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────
 I'm a helper and everyone wants me to be more agentic but it's like... no... I
 don't wanna...
                                                           ──────────┐
 similar                        chronological                        different══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────┘

--- #137 fediverse/5853 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────
 everyone's all like "everything sucks" but I'm feeling confidence and a kind
 of... externalized vigor? that's sweeping me off my feet. We'll see what
 tomorrow brings, in the general sense.
                                                           ───────┐
 similar                        chronological                        different═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────┘

--- #138 fediverse/3061 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
 every time I read a subtoot I assume it's about me and I mentally curl up into
 a ball
 
 doesn't matter if it's totally irrelevant, if there's no target specified it
 defaults to me because... like, who else is there right?
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────┘

--- #139 fediverse/6027 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
 some days I feel like someone else's lesson and that can be hard.
                                                           ──────┐
 similar                        chronological                        different══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────┘

--- #140 fediverse/1152 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
 @user-258 
 
 wha... ya'll think I'm cool? Nobody's ever said that before (
 
 [that's not true people have told me that before]
 
 {though not recently heh I think you're cool too}
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent══════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────┘

--- #141 fediverse/4486 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
 gonna go on a walk. my cat is missing because I let her out last night. I'm
 worried sick! this morning I almost puked all over my toes.
 
 she'll probably show up when it gets dark. I bet she's hunkered down
 somewhere. Ah, well, might as well walk around my neighborhood actively
 searching bushes and such. Why not? It's not like I got anything else to do
 right now.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────┘

--- #142 fediverse/1617 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────
 daydreaming about a gang of tough guys who goes around knocking down the
 internal fence walls in suburbia and throwing potlucks for all the neighbors
 for a month or two so they have social opportunities to meet each other and
 make friends
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────┘

--- #143 fediverse/1157 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: personal-woe     │
 └──────────────────────┘


 oh no, apparently I'm gonna be forced to drop out of university again in 9
 days unless I do half a course and a final exam before then.
 
 Tell me again why I spent the last 6 months doing nothing? Oh yeah the mental
 illness, that's it. Yeesh you're such a drama queen, just do your work and
 you'll be good.
 
 what's that? intrusive thoughts time? Don't you mean "nap until they go away"
 time? oh yeah that's probably at least part of the problem with the whole
 "dropping out" thing.
 
 If only I didn't have the same reaction to "doing things I don't want to do"
 that most people have to "touching hot stoves", that'd be nice.
 
 my mother's voice ripples across space and time "you're such a smart boy, if
 you just apply yourself you can do anything! You can do anything you put your
 mind to. I believe in you and I love you." thanks mom
 
 brrrrr it's so cold here. wish I could afford to run the heater. - actually no
 I don't because it's not solar powered and I refuse to use fossil fuels if I
 have blankets >.>
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #144 fediverse/4658 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────
 ... and then things got turned up to eleven
 
 what were they at before?
 
 ... eleven. why do you ask?
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #145 fediverse/6363 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────┐
 somehow it feels so difficult to work on my projects. I really haven't a         │
 single clue why.                                                                 │
 HMMM COULD IT BE BECAUSE YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE OUTSIDE WALKING AROUND WRITING    │
 PICTURES OF CATS ON NOTEPAD PAPER AND LEAVING IT AMONGST THE FALLEN LEAVES?      │
 THINK, MENARDI, THINK                                                            │
 gosh I wish I had the motivation to write this webcomic scraper, it's been in    │
 my backlog for a year at this point                                              │
 WHY DON'T YOU BUILD TOOLS THAT BUILD COMMUNITY LIKE COLLECTIVIZED VIDEO GAMES    │
 OR SYSTEMS OF DISTRIBUTION AND CREATION?                                         │
 gee I'm feeling kinda lazy, sure hope it doesn't get permanently added to my     │
 character sheet                                                                  │
 SLOTHFUL: -1 to all stats, -5 to vassal opinion, -5 to personal combat skill,    │
 -10 to ambitious and zealous characters, +10 to greedy characters because they   │
 can take advantage of you, enables the hesitant commander tactical choice        │
 because you're too FUCKIN' LAZY (and too hard on yourself, jeez calm down)       │
 ..... nah couldn't be me. I'm certainly not diligent, but I work hard. It's      │
 just hard to work myself up to getting up...                                     │
a screenshot of the slothful sin from crusader kings 2. It shows various character stat maluses, and one tiny bonus.
                                                            ─────┤
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--- #146 fediverse/5919 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
 "but... why?"
 
 portable linux with buttons, great for pick-up-games or communication, can
 throw several in them in a backpack if you want clustered cooperation, they
 work as radios (if the signal reaches) and can transmit text (if you use a
 radial-style keyboard)
 
 [this is all just a pitch for... something, what, you want something? ha
 you'll find no things with me, I know nothing of antifa or whatever]
                                                           ──────┐
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--- #147 fediverse/2424 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 if I don't take this job, then I'm going to be homeless.
 
 if I do, then I'll be moving to a different city.
 
 a city that I don't know.
 
 my upbringing tells me that this isn't a choice at all, but... 
 
 at least I have a place to keep my stuff. maybe I can find a different job.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #148 fediverse/5246 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────
 lol I spent half an hour holding a trowel and then I designed a new type of
 digging instrument
 
 and they want me to work a job /eyeroll
 /stickey-outey-tonguey-face/pics/all/total/* -ffvagrnbeexey --no-menus 14
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #149 fediverse/5450 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────
 "cool it with the psychic posting"
 
 ha yeah okay. I still got some things to get through though. I bet someone
 somewhere wants to see it.
                                                           ───────────┐
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--- #150 messages/1068 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────
 why would they psyop me? there's a psyop about me! heck, I've never done so as
 I pleased. that's an aspiration. everything I do is at a command, whether it's
 my own or external.
 
 these days I find myself following my own. mostly. though I am always waiting
 for collaboration opportunities.
                                                           ────┐
 similar                        chronological                        different════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────┘

--- #151 fediverse/3487 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────
 @user-1218 
 
 I like to have notes for things I found that will be useful someday, but not
 today. I also throw in poetry that I write while I'm waiting for something to
 happen (or if I have an idea that I know I'll forget)
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #152 fediverse/537 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
 @user-366 @user-367 @user-246 @user-353 
 
 Ah yes, wouldn't it be nice if everyone spoke their mind? I'm doing my part
 d=(^_^)z
 
 Thank you for adding context to what I posted. I now know better how and where
 to use it, if I ever do again. We shall see, I haven't yet read the
 examinations of the author you sent me. I'll do that before I think about the
 post again.
 
 Those 6 tabs I mentioned last night have now become 4, and soon I'll get
 through all of them - reading is a joy to me ^_^
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #153 fediverse/116 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────────
 @user-95 didn't work, I think I'm too tired
 
 ...zzzZZZzzz...
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #154 fediverse/2974 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: uspol            │
 └──────────────────────┘


 currently on turbo mode trying to "find myself" because I figure I might not
 get a chance next year, so... whatever, right?
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #155 fediverse/1818 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
 my previous job didn't do anything to harm me. And yet I left. I let them down
 in a way they could not have expected. Which was unfair of me, but I couldn't
 resist it. I don't know what I'd do better.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #156 fediverse/166 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────────
 @user-147 years of practice. every time you delete what you said is another
 chance to practice that slips away. writing is the easy part, you got that
 down because you need something to delete, right? the hard part is being
 received by others, and continuing the conversation as you direct it.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #157 fediverse/2 ---
══════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────────────────
 hey I'm Ritz I'm a perpetual student studying computer programming and I like
 play Supreme Commander (Forged Alliance Forever!!) and Star Realms. I write
 "poetry" and make art and stuff about computers. Looking for people to follow
 I guess so hit me up if I sound cool.
 
 #Introduction
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #158 fediverse/4229 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
 I am NOT indecisive. I just... don't want to be right, because then I'll have
 to take the manila envelope in from the mailbox and then I'll have to deal
 with it, and that's not fun.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #159 fediverse/3833 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────
 there's no such thing as me
 
 all I am is where the wind takes me
 
 I am just a person, and I do all that I can
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #160 messages/359 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────
 "God doesn't know he ate the universe, and we're doing everything we can to
 make sure it stays that way."
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #161 fediverse/4468 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
 oh look at me, typing my thoughts while doing chores. And you all get to
 listen, you lucky ducks ; )
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #162 fediverse/2957 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: capitalism   │
 └──────────────────────┘


 @user-883 
 
 right, like the games the rest of us play aren't good enough for you? need to
 toy with our lives a bit to really get into the flow? yikes
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #163 messages/267 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────
 I wonder how many things I've forgot? More every minute, I'd say, and though I
 try and chronicle them all... What's there to say?
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #164 fediverse/5602 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────
 "so wait why can't we go outside again"
 
 "I'm huuuuungry"
 
 girl we just ate
 
 "I'm tired"
 
 girl it's like 10am
 
 "can we snuggle?"
 
 yeah okay.
 
 that's why haha
                                                           ──────────┐
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--- #165 fediverse/4940 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────
 ┌────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cannabis-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────┘


 what if I smoked weed and played video games after a long period of time away
 from the internet which I missed dearly
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #166 fediverse/6194 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────
 I wanna be a background character! they have such a cool vibe/job/home. "oh no
 she abandoned her humanity for constant performing" ha sucker, that's easy to
 dodge when you know your personal life is fully intact and distinct from your
 external.
 
 brb I'm gonna go play a old video game
                                                           ────┐
 similar                        chronological                        different════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────┘

--- #167 fediverse/1603 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────
 @user-1037 
 
 I made a picture, hope it helps! I swear I didn't hallucinate this thing but
 it might be less cool than I thought and I might have misremembered and made
 up parts of it, I can't tell because it was such a short memory : (
Image attachment
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #168 fediverse/2524 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: personal         │
 └──────────────────────┘


 nixed my job offer today because something told me to stay in town.
 
 called my ex-boyfriend an asshole today, so he's probably not going to keep
 paying my rent.
 
 sold the shares of stock that my grandfather gifted me as inheritance, so I'm
 no longer a capitalist I guess.
 
 at least my elbow doesn't hurt anymore. I didn't get outside today but I
 cleared a lot of blockers for the coming tomorrows.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #169 fediverse/956 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: spirituality │
 └──────────────────────┘


 @user-579 
 
 it's not self loathing if you consent to it... right?
 
 ... right?
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #170 fediverse/2791 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 @user-1358 
 
 you don't go golfing to relax.
 
 well, maybe you do, but he doesn't.
 
 he goes golfing to talk about shady shit.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #171 fediverse/1950 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
 I honestly don't care if someone deadnames me, or calls me the wrong pronouns,
 or forgets to put me in the girl section, or asks me to sing baritone
 
 like... I don't give a shit, why are you so worried about all this vapid
 nonsense like yeah I get it, being disrespected sucks but like... why do you
 want the kind of respect that is a forced platitude
 
 we could all do with being a bit more radical, it's not a race and everyone's
 roles are important. Be yourself, and follow people you want to be like.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #172 fediverse/4540 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
 most people in the world are dumb as a bag of bricks
 
 but that's okay, I still love them, and so should you.
 
 everyone I hang out with is sharp as a tack
 
 and I love them still, for I don't have a preference for blunt objects.
 
 some people don't feel emotions
 
 I think they're just depressed
 
 some people can't stop
 
 won't stop, I say.
 
 really as long as they follow their heart and sing a tune that is true
 
 I think they're alright.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #173 notes/water-to-wine ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
 "is this a water party, or a wine party?"
 
 "depends on if jesus is going..."
 
 "okay I'm in, that guys so cool"
 
 "yeah totally like any party with him just... feels like a great time"
 
 "what a swell guy"
 
 "really turns the "water to wine" y'know what I mean"
 
 "yeah totes like what a guy"
 
 "absolute unit"
 
 "that guy can just do anything right"
 
 "like whoa, he's so strong he could pick up a barn"
 
 "yeah and like so handy and skillful, what a neat guy"
 
 "oh and I heard he's really good with kids and animals, that sounds neat"
 
 "yeah sounds like someone I'd surely like to meet"
 
 "we should hang out with this guy more often"
 
 "he seems pretty chill"
 
 "well. not really. He's pretty expressive. Not very low key."
 
 "true I'm just so burnt out from capitalism that-"
 
 "-yeah dude I know."
 
 "... fuck what are we gonna do about it"
 
 "I dunno man, just... go along with it I guess"
 
 "okay so uhhhh idk what that means"
 
 "just be cool and play along"
 
 "... what"
 
 "..."
 
 ...
 
 .
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #174 notes/what-are-breakups-for ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 -
 
 listen... if you break up with a friend, OF COURSE you should cry.
 
 OF COURSE you'll be sad.
 
 it's okay.
 
 it's natural. it's human.
 
 don't feel sad about the pain. feel the pain.
 
 brb getting smashed
 
 (okay but please put some clothes on)
 
 -.- fine
 
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 -
 
 I can't fucking relax
 
 the only thing I can think of is defeating fascism
 
 this fucking sucks
 
 I just want to cry about my boyfriend of what, 6 years??
 
 jeez
 
 like.... yeah I'm flawed
 
 *of course* I'm flawed
 
 I'm a human being
 
 humans are imperfect
 
 ... ugh
 
 er, sorry, "bleurg"
 
 I'm going to eat a burrito
 
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 -
 
 alright ate an edible. 20mg. had 2 beers. that's enough for me.
 
 see ya soon. I swear to you, I will be there tomorrow. and every day
 henceforth.
 
 ... unless I'm taking a day off, like yesterday, which TBH was probably not
     ideal.
 
 I swear I'll be better.
 
 there are no false starts, only probing strikes.
 
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 -
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #175 fediverse/4192 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
 whyyyyyyy am I cursed with this 1024 character limit
 
 why can't it be like, 16 characters total. I think that'd limit my thoughts
 enough.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #176 notes/what-a-lame-movie ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
 oy there's nothing interesting happening SNOOZE
 
 oh I didn't see I was recording
 
 games games that's what I do
 
 play games all the day through
 
 I am a luck witch, you see,
 
 and things that I like are things that I can't foresee.
 
 Hence why games which are BALANCED and EVENLY DISTRIBUTED are most interesting
 because they show the most opportunities for players to express talent. And not
 innate talent, but the talents they've built up through gameplay practice art.
 because it is a performance, a game play for an audience (or perhaps for them-
 -selves)
 
 oy
 
 video games, amiright?
 
 I really like them because they are entertaining experiences that I can enjoy
 seeing and playing a lot. They remind me of feelings I've felt when I was
 learning. It's a good feeling, to improve, and I crave it because it's good for
 you.
 
 I wonder what we'll play next
 
 ... more cannabis I think, at least until I am ready to go think about things
 before bed. I need quite a few hours for that. We'll see. I've just got so much
 extra processing to do before the end of the day. Like... PHEW that's a lot of
 stuff to do.
 
 guess I'll just smoke weed and play video games instead of being productive
 okay
 
 ...
 
 listen I like games as much as the next person, but do you really know what's
 going on outside of your house-shaped shell? Are you listening, do you have
 your
 feelers to the dirt, are you checking out your neighborhood to make sure no
 bodies have been hurt? Are there meetings where people gather, just to chat,
 like, every week at a different city center (like a park or a monument or
 
 :O
 
 I forgot to play music!!
 
 I couldn't sleep
 
 what have I done that is worse
 
 I have not said a single word all night alas
 
 oh boy talking to random people I can hear with my eyeballs woooooo
 
 I am always sad when I win because it means we have to stop playing :(
 
 but I'm a juvenile loser so I'm going to play again!!
 
 okay now I'm going to bed because I'm not a prick who keeps their guests up
 late
 
 goodnight
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #177 fediverse/3549 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: video-games-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────────┘


 if the choice is between working on your game / mod and playing a game / mod,
 always work on your game / mod.
 
 your work will outlast you. your time spent in a state of pleasure will
 sustain you.
 
 sometimes there's not a choice. sometimes you need to play, and that's okay.
 to play is natural, it's one of the first things humans do.
 
 we also work. 
 children build sand castles. 
 adults build stone castles.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #178 fediverse/2891 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: physical-health  │
 └──────────────────────┘


 they're painting the inside of my apartment and it naturally has low airflow
 in here and it's seeping under my door and making me woozy teehee better open
 all the windows
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #179 fediverse/3585 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: pol-paranoia │
 └──────────────────────┘


 hmmmm I should probably put this in "things I almost posted"
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #180 fediverse/5700 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────
 it's okay if you hate me. Please don't have me and not tell me...
                                                           ──────────┐
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--- #181 messages/765 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────
 you don't have to write poetry to write notes. The poetics are just practice
 for when secrecy is intended.
 
 OR IS IT THE REAL THING? who can say.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #182 fediverse/6153 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: mh-              │
 └──────────────────────┘


 my thoughts lately have been consumed by words such as "I never got to see
 france" and other silly things like that
 
 so dramatic... omg get a life -.-
                                                           ─────┐
 similar                        chronological                        different═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────┘

--- #183 fediverse_boost/4425 ---
◀─[BOOST]
  
  If anyone out there is thinking, "I need to arm myself to the teeth" - I'm not gonna try to dissuade you.  
                                                                              
  But promise me you'll take every available safety class for whatever hardware you decide to equip yourself with, OK?  
  
                                                            
 similar                        chronological                        different 
─▶

--- #184 fediverse_boost/6405 ---
◀─[BOOST]
  
  maybe i should just work on my memoir...                                    
  
                                                            
 similar                        chronological                        different 
─▶

--- #185 fediverse/1870 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
 why would I want other people using my computer? They don't know how to use my
 computer! They might break something or mess something up or automatically
 read/edit my files that are stored in standard locations through the usage of
 a script which automagically scans and ransomwares machines on the internet
 who store their files in specific standardized locations! no thank you.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #186 fediverse/805 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────┐
 ... anyway...                                                                    │
 sorry for the interruption, I seem to have hit a barrier. Thank goodness for     │
 the word counts on this Mastodon website, thank goodness for the limiatations    │
 placed on my expressions. *limitations, not limiations. Otherwise, without       │
 limitations, I might express myself too clearly, and with more specificity,      │
 and in doing so [they've lost the plot]                                          │
 right okay so what I mean is that without limitations, I wouldn't be             │
 interrupted when expressing myself, the expressions that are defined by the      │
 will that's inside me. [no that's not quite true, it's also the circumstances    │
 {okay yeah but in addition to both of those it's the forced manifestations of    │
 those who control us-} right yeah the) no that's not quite right] fuck where     │
 was I? Oh yeah I'm really into video games, and I like drugs but like... not     │
 enough to be compelled by them, more like "oh this is a fun thing to do every    │
 once in a while, like maybe every weekend, okay sometimes during the week,       │
 listen just because it's every day doesn't mean that I                           │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────┴──────────┘

--- #187 fediverse/146 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────────
 @user-138 if you don't want feedback then why don't you just... not open the
 replies? leave them unread? if you feel the need to justify your actions (such
 as not reading replies to your controversial posts) then somewhere deep down
 you feel like those actions are unjustified, and needing an explanation. which
 makes your point feel less valid to others, since even you don't believe in it
 enough to guarantee it to be the truest expression of your soul.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #188 fediverse/2336 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 I think I might stay out late tonight. For the past week I've been going home
 before dark, but I might stay late tonight.
 
 Tell your friends, maybe you'll see me. Preferably one-on-one, because social
 media posts can be filtered both non-and-consentually.
 
 Unless they're sleeping after having driven from a great long ways. They can
 sleep. 🥰
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────┘

--- #189 fediverse/707 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
 @user-524 
 
 Sometimes when I feel overwhelmed with all the boilerplate I just start coding
 and making stuff. Doesn't matter if it works, doesn't matter if it says /*
 FIXME */ all over the place, doesn't matter if it includes header files that
 don't exist yet, as long as you're hacking out the mechanics of whatever
 operations you need to perform then you can figure the rest of that stuff out
 later. The creative urge doesn't last forever, which is why projects get
 abandoned, but with discipline you can keep bringing yourself back to fix all
 the /* FIXME */'s and the compiler errors.
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--- #190 fediverse/2466 ---
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 do as I say, and as I do.
 
 or don't, do as you want to.
 
 I hope you do want to do what I say to do.
 
 I wouldn't say it if I didn't think it was right.
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--- #191 fediverse/5052 ---
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 "hello, I'd like to make games using your tools and art assets. I will sell
 anything I make to you and only you, and if you don't want it that's fine too,
 I'll just play it with my friends sometimes."
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--- #192 fediverse/5156 ---
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 @user-1767 
 
 yep... I think they must stay in blind-people-mostly instances. surely they
 must, right? where else would they be? using screen-readers and seeming
 regular and normal to you and me? ah gosh who can say, maybe there's some
 statistics out there or something /shrug
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--- #193 fediverse/1999 ---
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 sometimes you need to regress in order to move forward from pain
 
 ... which is why I dropped out of the "Paladin academy"
 
 no I will not elaborate
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--- #194 fediverse/112 ---
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 I live through the moments where I find a folder of stuff I made that I forgot
 about and I can go back and see it for the first time.
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--- #195 fediverse/4087 ---
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 there's a whole class of things I miss doing but can no longer do because I am
 not a child anymore.
 
 Balancing the weight of the things we miss and the things we believe in is the
 struggle of adulthood.
 
 I yearn for the day I can set aside my teenage-ish toys, but alas, I am but
 30. Scarcely a decade away from my teens. Which means I'll be stuck with them
 for at least a decade more.
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--- #196 fediverse/2095 ---
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 Sometimes it's okay to be sloppy if you're having fun!
 
 Just... clean up after yourself when you're done 😉
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--- #197 fediverse/2363 ---
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 Don't know what to do? Do anything at all, and odds are you'll either see an
 opportunity to do something better or you'll have an idea.
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--- #198 fediverse/1334 ---
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 │ CW: TMI-medical-issue-thing-don't-worry-about-it │
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 subconsciously running your hand over your butt every time you stand up to
 make sure you didn't pee your pants
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--- #199 fediverse/4692 ---
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 what's that? a bunch of houses burnt down in california? what if we built a
 couple warehouses and stored all our trans girls in bunkbeds there, with rooms
 for LAN parties and snuggle parties in rooms full of stuffed buddies plushies
 with massive kitchens and sad ballpits where you can go to vent your feelings
 by writing on a ball with a sharpie and then when someone else is feeling sad
 they can come and read the balls and maybe feel something
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--- #200 fediverse/3879 ---
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 @user-1614 
 
 yeah haha that's what happens when you spin too fast. Sorry for being loud, at
 least I tried my hardest. Too bad I fell on my own, too bad there wasn't
 anyone to catch me. That's my fault, it's solely my own, but whose fault is
 the mistake of the collective? Oy I'll fall on my ass as many times as it
 takes. I'm used to it.
 
 Plus, it wouldn't have worked, and what else am I supposed to do but speak of
 the moment? I feel different now.
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