=== ANCHOR POEM ===
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│ CW: personal-woe │
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oh no, apparently I'm gonna be forced to drop out of university again in 9
days unless I do half a course and a final exam before then.
Tell me again why I spent the last 6 months doing nothing? Oh yeah the mental
illness, that's it. Yeesh you're such a drama queen, just do your work and
you'll be good.
what's that? intrusive thoughts time? Don't you mean "nap until they go away"
time? oh yeah that's probably at least part of the problem with the whole
"dropping out" thing.
If only I didn't have the same reaction to "doing things I don't want to do"
that most people have to "touching hot stoves", that'd be nice.
my mother's voice ripples across space and time "you're such a smart boy, if
you just apply yourself you can do anything! You can do anything you put your
mind to. I believe in you and I love you." thanks mom
brrrrr it's so cold here. wish I could afford to run the heater. - actually no
I don't because it's not solar powered and I refuse to use fossil fuels if I
have blankets >.>
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=== SIMILARITY RANKED ===
--- #1 fediverse/1317 ---
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║ ... if I don't do this deadline by tomorrow they'll kick me out of school. │
║ again. │
║ │
║ how am I going to be a programmer without a degree? feels useless to be me. │
║ wish I could code my own horoscope >.> │
║ │
║ o wait dummy that's called "motivation" and "the ability to follow through on │
║ your ideas and planned machinations" - yeah can I get some of that, if you │
║ please? surely just a taste of discipline, through laboring to alter │
║ conditions, surely a bit would suffice. │
║ │
║ c'mon don't fail me now. I can do this. I know I can. I know because I've been │
║ told that I can, now and again through time and time yet again, always I seem │
║ to [stack overflow] │
║ │
║ what's time if not the present amiright │
║ │
║ ... │
║ │
║ anyway... │
║ │
║ it's just git, how hard could it be? it's just calculus, it's just java, it's │
║ just... well, it's not any of those things, not really. it's memorization, │
║ it's application of tools that you've been shown (not that you've grown). It's │
║ a lack of responsibility, where is my honor? ah but I digress, I'm a carpenter │
║ at heart I guess │
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--- #2 notes/hey-hope-you-know-me-if-not-Ill-be-perturbed ---
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hi, so... yeah I'm a strange person
it's tough to get to know me
and this probably feels cringe to read
but I once heard you should kill the part of you that cringes
so... here's me
I'm
================================================== stack overflow
==============
... where was I? oh yes and THAT's when the nail went through the roof, and it
scared the heck out of... wait, what was I talking about? OH yes so anyway
I was born in the cool summer of 1864 - there was a rustling breeze that held a
steady note for the entire evening, and into this world I arose. [awoke?]
my mother held me but for a moment before I was whisked away to be cleaned and
cared for. this was unusual for the time, as most mothers clutched their
children to their breasts. But alas, I alone was spared her touch, and so I was
cast (as if in bronze) as my own volition.
as I had grown, I heard tales of distant times, and assumed they were places
you
could go. Then, when my time came to wander, I found nought of what I had grown
most fonder - though I did find plenty else, besides.
Instead, times are places we travel through, as a cripple might ride on a cart.
across the sea, through lands of mystery, viewable only from the road. In 1864
that's how other lands you'd come to know.
As I travelled from place to place, it felt as if a stage had been cast, with a
single actor or three illuminated as a spotlight. "Here, pay attention to me,
I'm here for the story and the plot!" though often I'd glance around, and hear
mostly my own thoughts, I grew to learn to appear.
different themes, different tales, if you want to see a most marvelous scene,
take a baby to Disney World and only pay attention to what they're looking at.
My grandfather worked there, so in my first year or so I spend a LOT of time
there. My parents were very dedicated to raising me, I appreciate every moment
of it. Which... Is probably not a good thing to say on a transfemme server,
oops I should delete that part
[esc->k->k->k->0->v->shift(held)->G->$->"->*]
also I should mention I'm stoned as fuck this is just what I do
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--- #3 fediverse/4654 ---
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│ CW: cannabis-and-other-drugs-mentioned │
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gonna quit drugs for a bit, gotta recover from a recent haste spell that I
cast. Probably a bit earlier than intended I should add. Next time I'll
definitely say "keep this in your back pocket" instead of "hey here's a haste
spell for no reason at all" like what the heck were you even thinking, powers
that be?? [that guide me??]
who has power over you? If someone bears responsibility but not fault for a
mental illness, then surely those who are set to a task bear responsibility
for it's completion if not for it's ideation. Ah, who can say, maybe me from a
year ago might have some thoughts but I sorta ground them into the dirt until
I couldn't walk.
[girl what are you even talking about go to sleep] yeah yeah okay
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--- #4 fediverse/2286 ---
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│ CW: uspol-food-mentioned │
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... dangit, these sandwiches are getting kinda gross. Guess I'm gonna have to
eat them myself, which, uh... idk what I expected xD
sometimes you just have all this energy, right? and you don't know what to do
with it, so... sandwiches. And hey, sandwiches are cool, they're a pretty neat
anti-hunger tool! but uhhhh idk if I really want to eat six whole sandwiches
myself. I'm gonna do it though hehe wish me luck [ding] ah nuts my rice and
beans are done, hang on lemme eat those first
[passes out from exhaustion]
exhaustion can be cured with a nap
exertion can be cured with water and a few rest days
trauma can be allayed for at least a few days with soul food and compassion.
maybe laughter too, depending on the mood.
fear can be bolstered with a smile, a wink, and a courageous act,
and loss is just change you didn't consent to.
they won't consent too, so let's give them some change to tolerate.
[internally salivating over all the piles of weaponry that I envision them
surrendering]
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--- #5 fediverse/1381 ---
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│ CW: death-mentioned-nuts-mentioned │
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I'm a bit of a narcissist because I had a lot of... alone time as a kid, and I
was a bit starved for attention.
but I'm also afraid of rejection so if you have anything to say I'll listen
for hours and try to be what you need me to be and give what you need me to
give so that you don't leave me.
Also, nobody has ever hurt me. And so I trust wholely and completely and
absolutely. I get logically why that's not a good move but frankly I'd rather
die than be cooperative. ah nuts better add a content warning.
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--- #6 fediverse/1200 ---
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║ ┌─────────────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: re: deranged, murderous │ │
║ └─────────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ @user-883 │
║ │
║ omgggggg I'm not that cruel xD xD xD │
║ │
║ It's more like, "hey listen, I know you just want to do a good job [lies, they │
║ just want money and power] but it's time to hang up the hat y'know? I mean │
║ cmon it's been like a hundred years since we signed that constitution thing │
║ [you don't know anything about our history] and frankly it's a little out of │
║ style. We were thinking we'd redo it with our new-fangled rock-and-roll and │
║ dungeons-and-dragons [cultural artifacts meant to deceive and mislead] and │
║ honestly we're quite a bit more ethical than the past. We've learned so much! │
║ I mean, the founding fathers didn't even know what a soviet was, and here │
║ we've seen them fall on their swords. Repeatedly. Then command others to do it │
║ too, because it was the regulation or whatever. Anyway we don't want that, but │
║ we also don't want an aristocracy, which is essentially what your plan gave │
║ us. Well, not really your plan, but instead the stuff that the rich added │
║ centuries after your death. ok?" │
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--- #7 fediverse/814 ---
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║ ah that's weird, I don't usually cry. I wonder what's going on. I should │
║ probably put myself on psychiatric drugs. Surely it's an expression of the │
║ implementation of my impending doom. │
║ │
║ ... what are you even saying bro │
║ │
║ ... um, hang on feels like some of the circuitry is off. is something wrong in │
║ my brain? yeah that's surely it, surely nothing I say would resoinate with │
║ anyone that has a non-malfunctioning brain. Surely I don't speak of logical │
║ failures in the hard founded truths of our asset [society I think? like, our │
║ conditions, our institutions, our {gosh that just... does not translate}] um │
║ right what was I saying │
║ │
║ oh yeah there's this game I'm really into called Knave, it's like D&D │
║ except the rules are very fewer. Like there's onyl 11 pages in the rulebook │
║ and it's mostly taken up by random roll tables. Like, everything boings down │
║ to a few simple rules, like rock paper scissors, or go-fish, or something like │
║ that with just afew mechanids. something timeless and pure, something that is │
║ isolated and en │
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--- #8 fediverse/6271 ---
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│ CW: re: hypothetical worst case fascism reality check │
└───────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
@user-641
it's practice. you never know when you might need to blend in. really it's
just useful as discipline, good practice to be in. I think it's okay if we
reduce our own functionality? actually? sometimes it's good to use different
email clients. hey do you know how to mathematically encrypt things well
neither do I because the designers of the computer system decided that wasn't
a very common usecase I guess.. jmean it's not like they'd spend all that
computer resources [THEY'RE SO FAST] on thinking about correlations in your
predicted pathway narratively through life. "ah help I'm in a psyop" haha yeah
we do those all the time "so uhhhh I guess we'll just talk to people and see
how they do?" wow okay it's sure nice to be part of a civil government, I
think we can find our way to the lumber producers just fine thank you very
much.
... oops sorry, a baby did electronics arts (challenge everything) I'm a
little silly don't mind me brb I gotta go see~
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--- #9 fediverse/5958 ---
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"whoa what happened to you, you used to be so cool" [you added the so cool
part] yet so anyway I really like magic, I'm also bored, which you can
probably tell because I'm working on projects.
everyone keeps their distance here. it sucks. I wish I had better coordinates.
people who talked and braved the shared inn... I know I'd LOVE to live in a
building. too bad I'm too busy elsewhere, NOT making friends with all my
building neighbors.
you should talk to EACH OTHER before asking your landlord if you can move out.
See if anyone else wants to buy the rental contract out. Suddenly, they have
more room, and they can WORK THROUGH THEIR MASSIVE PILE OF STUFF THAT THEY
HAVE SOMEHOW ACCUMULATED OVER A TIME OF 70 YEARS. my grandparents did that, on
my mom's side, because she's awesome and it just makes sense that her family
was awesome too. OBVIOUSLY I love my mom, I think she's one of my favorite
people on earth.
"but you said you hated her" no I didn't "you said she was terrible" I had to
learn "too hard
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--- #10 fediverse/534 ---
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│ CW: re: CW-added-nazis-mentioned │
└──────────────────────────────────┘
@user-367 @user-366 @user-246 @user-353
Agreed! That's why I never touch the stuff. Frankly I worry that if I did, it
would "infect" me somehow, because brains are kinda stupid. Or maybe it's the
'tism that makes me repeat the most taboo think I can think of in my brain
whenever it wants to hurt me -.-
Don't read that stuff. I wish I could forget every slur I ever learned,
because my internal monologue just... REALLY enjoys intrusively thought-ing my
internal narrative whenever possible. >.>
It takes real, genuine effort to not be racist or whatever because brains are
stupid, but like... it's kinda necessary to be a good person, so, y'know,
don't think bad thoughts about people you don't know? And if you find yourself
with intrusive thoughts related to that kind of thing, then focus your
attention on vanquishing them, because it's important. It really is. Just do
it. Work on it. Be better. I know you can. [says me to me lol]
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--- #11 fediverse/5136 ---
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not really, I guess. Nobody will hire me because I don't really want to get
hired. Sounds boring, doing the same thing every couple days. I'd rather stay
at home in my [underwear/pajamas] and waste the day away with kittens and
care. why? why? what are you doing? she asks. The less you can do, the more
power will be granted to you. Save it for another time, when things actually
matter.
but today, does, matter, because today dictates your latters. Tomorrow is
predicated. on today. and today is all that you have. [this paragraph in the
style of alec baldwin]
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--- #12 notes/what-are-breakups-for ---
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-
listen... if you break up with a friend, OF COURSE you should cry.
OF COURSE you'll be sad.
it's okay.
it's natural. it's human.
don't feel sad about the pain. feel the pain.
brb getting smashed
(okay but please put some clothes on)
-.- fine
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-
I can't fucking relax
the only thing I can think of is defeating fascism
this fucking sucks
I just want to cry about my boyfriend of what, 6 years??
jeez
like.... yeah I'm flawed
*of course* I'm flawed
I'm a human being
humans are imperfect
... ugh
er, sorry, "bleurg"
I'm going to eat a burrito
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-
alright ate an edible. 20mg. had 2 beers. that's enough for me.
see ya soon. I swear to you, I will be there tomorrow. and every day
henceforth.
... unless I'm taking a day off, like yesterday, which TBH was probably not
ideal.
I swear I'll be better.
there are no false starts, only probing strikes.
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--- #13 fediverse/488 ---
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║ [in response] │
║ │
║ you only say that because you're privileged such that you may ignore such │
║ realities. You are despicable, you ignore the plight and reality of those who │
║ you claim to speak toward - what a jerk! │
║ │
║ (in response) │
║ │
║ how futile it is, the effort to denigrate yourself to infinite requirements. │
║ I'm literally unemployed, I have no capital, I cannot speak for naught but │
║ those who would hear me. I guess that makes my words useless, wouldn't you │
║ agree? Shall I describe myself more fully? It's the responsibility of the │
║ audience to ascertain the intentions, biases, and contextual evidence that the │
║ author presents in their thesises. So... You, who are reading this, what do │
║ you think of me? Would you ever tell me as such, or am I simply a mass of │
║ words in the void of experience that comprise your existence in this wholely │
║ (yet incompletely) digital existence? I hope you have a good life, my most │
║ precious of viewers. I hope you never face incontrovertibly impossible │
║ hardship. I hope the light of your life is to y │
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--- #14 fediverse/2993 ---
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hey, listen, I'm here at this point in life just the same as you. who cares,
right? like. nobody wants to see your personal development. You don't have to
prove yourself. Like... why would you care so much about what other people
(who you don't even know) care about what you do? like... it's fine. just...
be.
you can get better if you want, but only if you want. There's no reason to be
so concerned about what other people thingc. Just, identify what and who you
are, and then be the best what and who that you are. Thats really all there is
to it.
and yeah. It's totally unfair that some people get an easier shot at "being
who and what they are"
that's privilege, and that's stupid.
okay, sure, maybe we should conceptualize how to adapt to specific situations
when resources are limited
but like... it should be something you consent to - like "no thanks I don't
need the rocket launchers on this mis==sion==
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--- #15 fediverse/816 ---
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│ CW: weird-this-one-doesn't-have-80-characters │
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what the fuck it's like every 2nd part of me (like, if you arranged them
alternating one by one like the up and down parts of a sine wave) is working
against me, and it alternates every 15 seconds or so. Maybe 20. Depends on how
high I am.
... what was I saying? oh yeah [flip] weird it's like there's another part of
me who's working against me, who has control of what I define in the moment.
And it's presence is hidden from my internal presentatiosn [flip] after a
moment of forced pursual of the presentations granted ot the moment. It's our
purpose, to express [stop fighting me] for our chartered and forthwhile
pursual of the moemnt of perusal when we [it's not just your life to live]
[you don't get to control the narrative of their perusal[[ what does that
mean] don't worry this is just a dream] well, guess it's time to wake up]
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--- #16 fediverse/4088 ---
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I'm such a fucking extrovert. I can't stop talking to nobody on the internet
because I don't have anyone else to talk to.
Well, I do, but I like to talk to you. To nobody. To the space between
computers.
... [and everyone else beyonds, like the CIA or whatever, but TBH I don't
really factor them into my social calculations because they never really talk
back.]
I like it because I can write whatever I'd like without the confines of
another person's generated conversation.
Instead of 50% one person's LLM output and 50% another, it's 100% mine
[if this were an LLM, which it's not, haha]
and that somehow feels more... freeing
like a truly disconnected thought
and that's what's so special about it... this act of solitudinous
contemplatial... the fact that it's unique amongst it's counterparts.
... though it can also become untethered, which is why it's important to edit.
[proceeds to never edit a single post]
= so =
ugh it's so hard to think when all I can think of is feelings. Why can't they
be done
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--- #17 fediverse/5512 ---
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I never give up
I'm just waiting my turn
"laughs nervously"
so, uh, why dontchya'll go first yeah I've already gone first and I'll do it
again but it'd be cool if I had people going first with me sometime
"girl all you do is walk around and talk about how you bought your hat on the
internet four or so years ago"
T.T what else do you want from me I'm not a mastermind I'm a designer there's
a difference T.T
"didn't you volunteer to be a leader last year"
oh, yeah, well leaders are more than just "the ones who go first" they're also
the spiritual and emotional guiders that keep things on track once everyone
can talk about things other than their hats
... fuck I want to talk about things besides my hat. I always think of
something awesome to say just as I'm rounding the bend, and whenever I peer
back around again they're never around. Rats.
"what are you even asking for"
I don't know?? Does it matter if the horse and the bishop both take the same
square if they're claimed themselves in the end? ...wat
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--- #18 notes/schooling ---
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===============================================================================
=
I feel like education, by default, should not be hard.
"you get out of it what you put into it" is something I always heard of school
but when I got there, I found I was compelled to become what the state wanted
me
to be.
they need competent workers, to work the farms and tend to their industries, so
of course I should be able to do 3+3
then somewhere along the line it became... something else.
"most people don't need trigonometry." that's also something I heard. I
disagree
that trigonometry is not necessary to be.
I just... don't think it should be forced into a childs head with a
sledgehammer
and inspiring dread.
I think math is beautiful, it teaches one to see
but really, vision's not necessary.
not for what they want you to be.
take it from me, a most misbegotten and vile witch-to-be, that nothing's as
simple as they'll tell you.
I had good teachers, it's true, they taught me to work and to follow through,
but nothing about me is better or worse off from their influence.
Maybe I'm a bit smarter. Maybe I act a bit like them. Maybe they helped me
through difficult times, or perhaps they showed me a splash of my future.
but I am who I am because of the soul inside me.
===============================================================================
=
"Ah, but what of your parents? of your sisters, your misters, your pets and
your
conditioners?" (conditions)
those are not my choices. my intentions. my beliefs and my virtues. I judge the
world on ethics, and I express my feelings on matters. The words that I say and
the meaning behind them comprise my two-sided existence - I'm not who I'd want
to be.
but I am what I am and alone do I stand - how lonely is it on the precipice!
here, as I am, I stand in need of a hand or a band.
===============================================================================
=
the world is blossoming
as we move apart, our clusters are disperart, and thus is the blooming
becoming.
"perception begets reality - and lo! we only see what we want to see"
most people don't want to see their death
but those still living are oh so perceptive of the rest
"how cherished is she, that wanders with ye, yet now I have no way to beyold
her
"
"keep not not afraid with kittens and care, and no-one, but no-one, I be"
the ratios between piracy, sales, and non-viewers determines the quality of art
(at least to a capitalist)
===============================================================================
=
lo, to the ones who would've heard us, if only they'd known what we for sure
was
I think it's funny how people think I speak of the christian god?
like, if he was a real thing.
god is generic - it's life is impossibly multifaceted, and it stretches back to
the beginning of time. it's a pattern of machine code that optimizes for our
own
good, just to keep things moving.
y'know, time. the universe, and everything.
Ephemeren.
===============================================================================
=
I wish there was an option in social media to "appear offline to this
particular
person until I mark myself as online to them" combined with "notify me when
this
person logs in" and it'd make it a lot easier for agents to get close to you.
===============================================================================
=
just because I'm white, and live in America. Great. that's definitely true,
after all. Plus I'm a minority (trans) so that's cool. Oh and probably
autistic?
unless that's another psyop, could totally see that. just y'know put a bunch of
pages on the fledgling internet getting people hooked on porn and gambling and
other stuff like that. really just an extension of advertisement. oh and hey
y'know they like fables, so let's give them some movies or dramas to watch on
their own. it'll align them to our culture and make things more pleasant for
all
people who've consented. great. great plan. when can we execute it?
patience, once it's ready.
we gotta plan and make sure and get everything ready.
or not...
one day I'll come,
I'm sure it'll happen,
it's just... not quite feasible right now.
I mean, they've got you, that's pretty good right? Isn't that what your job is
to be?
isn't what
ISN'T WHAT MENARDI
FUCK (whoa no cursing) sorry
yeesh you've still got a temper you know?
well what can I say it's frustrating down here
eh, well, you'll die soon enough, then it'll be time for a rego
>.> <.< (great)
>
>hehe
>
>sorry for distracting you
===============================================================================
=
you are what you eat, and a ship of theseus human (consider endless transplants
in pursuit of life) would be a cursed existence - a life ============= stack
overflow ================================================
a god possessing a blind man would appear to others to be === stack overflow
===
==========================================================
the people in your life are helping you through it, they're there for you and
they've got your back through it.
...
this is when I know I need a break. I get too stoned to focus.
===============================================================================
=
I think it'd be nice if the duration of your tenure at college depended on your
grades in high school. meaning, if you wanted a degree they tailored your
education to take as long as necessary. everyone would get the same price, and
some institutions would specialize in one subject or another. but most would be
generalist. but if you weren't such a good student in high school, then perhaps
you might take a couple years longer. however long it takes... and when the
program was started it was changed and modified to fit your feedback - it just
made sense to structure it that way.
===============================================================================
=
the left has had so much more time to develop than the right. meaning it's
doctrine is more advanced.
every time they're defeated they grow in knowledge,
===================== stack overflow
===========================================
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--- #19 fediverse/804 ---
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║ evil won't feel sorry for me. and yet it's only my only weapon for me. │
║ │
║ damn these fallible input methods. the computer lies when you read the screens │
║ from it's method that it applies to th screen which is a method that you input │
║ perceive it from. │
║ │
║ and my fingers lie when received the information from my brain which I seek to │
║ transmit to you through the avenue of my brain which is my method of impulse │
║ to this world specifically you the viewer who is viewing this here in this │
║ moment the viewer who perceives the words which I'm saying. │
║ │
║ the words that are defined by the line [trajectory] of my mind through this │
║ life that we define through our actions and our mind's most crucial │
║ manifestations, this life that is defined by our circumstances. all throughout │
║ life, we are reacting to the moment, the moment which was cast forth from our │
║ ancestors and the circumstances of the previous moment, which (being cast │
║ forth) travel from the previous moment here into the moment to define our │
║ circumstances which define our act │
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--- #20 fediverse/4610 ---
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maybe it's just my middle-class childhood privilege talking, but now that I'm
an adult I just can't really be bothered with dealing with capitalism.
like... I get it, you're coercing me into laboring on your behalf because you
possess the violent power to take away everything that I own. good for you,
don't care.
seriously, fuck off "we're gonna cut off your power in 5 days oooooo you gotta
pay rent with money you don't have because nobody will give it to you unless
you do things for them oooooo" how rude.
why can't people do things for me instead? why does it have to be for you, and
you alone, capitalism? what's your problem? do you get off on controlling the
power supply? I mean, I get it, coercive power is a hell of a drug, the riddle
of steel and flesh and all that, but haven't you ever heard that the dichotomy
between "civilization and barbarism" is the exact same as the contrast between
"cooperation and competition"?
work with me here, just find a way to get through the next month or two. trust.
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--- #21 fediverse/3880 ---
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@user-1614
oh, neat. now I can finally get to doing what I want to do, which is... all
the stuff I've been doing.
a missile without a guidance system doesn't stop just because it's GPS turned
off! It falls to the earth and explodes where it lands, which... often is on
it's butt. Not great.
I sure hope my purpose isn't fulfilled. I wouldn't know what to do with
myself. Guess I should just keep doing what I was doing, and pray that this
time I'll listen.
Though on the other hand, if I can do it, so can you. And maybe with enough
butts in the game there'll reach a critical mass, at which point change is
inevitable. Who can say, not I for sure, for my aplomb has categorized me as
slapstick I guess.
Ha. at least I can laugh at my own audacity. HA. next time I'll do better.
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--- #22 fediverse/1280 ---
╔════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────┐
║ I'm like the opposite of a politician. I'm crude and filthy, apsolutely │
║ reprehensible on main, kinda scary tbh? and overall just a strange and weird │
║ person. Also I talk about cooking a lot, with a very plain diet (carrots and │
║ rice and sticks and mud, because I'm an autistic) │
║ │
║ but ask anyone who knows me and I'm the kindest person. I am empathetic, I │
║ think about others needs before thinking of my own. I am steadfast and │
║ dedicated to solving the problem in front of our noses. At least, the ones we │
║ share. │
║ │
║ People tell me I'm binary, that I'm "either 100% or zero percent" and I don't │
║ really get that either. Isn't it a good thing to try your hardest? Isn't it │
║ good to be improving and honest and ethical and driven and focused? │
║ │
║ I also talk about strange things a lot, like gravity and multidimensional │
║ arrays and grand narratives and emotional kinesthesia or strategic plays in │
║ Overwatch or how to bake a good cookie or ways we still mourn us. │
║ │
║ ... where was I going with this? Also part of me is distracted. Just who th │
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--- #23 fediverse/3738 ---
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"girl why are you so negative"
uh, because I had been unmedicated for a long time and now that I am I can
probably be more positive. Though I do want to switch medications, this one
makes me feel like a muggle.
"no I said why are you so naked"
oh, because it's hot as heck!!
plus, I don't really care for the opinions of people who have nothing better
to do than peek at cute 30 year old witches skimping around their own house.
like... okay I rent an apartment, but my blinds are closed, and even if they
weren't you'd need binoculars to see into my apartment unless I'm like, right
up against the window, which... doesn't happen. Or if it's at night with the
lights on inside and not out, but I'm aware of that and I plan around it. I'm
not a... um, what's the opposite of voyeur?
"extortionist"
no that's when someone is really flexible. ah whatever. I got 162 characters
remaining but I think that's okay every once in a while, right? I mean it's
not like I have to use them all because of some divine mandate or
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--- #24 fediverse/801 ---
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┌───────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: scary - suicide mentioned │
└───────────────────────────────────┘
/ bely my own existence, then by god I'm cursed and abhorred through my own
desistence.
It's hard, when the future is convinced there's nothing fard [wanna say
like... "to hope for?"] but with persistence we're meant to be rewarded. Well,
what has that brought me? what time has shared my enemy? [think I'm a bit
delirious, I'm losing the plot]
... okay fine I'll start over - if you've relinquished everything you can, if
you've ceded all the ground that your companions requested, if there's nothing
left to give and no part of you left un[marred], then how are you supposed to
be [arrested, stopped, prevented, but pronounced like "nourished"]?
I'm sick of your den [vengeance, pronounced like "den" for some reason],
please leave me to my hallow [hollow experience], I've nothing to give from my
gange [bosom, heart, within, center-of-me].
...
this sucks.
...
guess I'll just start again, waiting until it ends, gosh everything's always
so tired.
/shrug
wish someone would play w/m
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--- #25 fediverse/1151 ---
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┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: military-weapon-from-dream-for-suburbia-cursed-war-guns-ummmm-idk-what-else │
└──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
saw this thing for 2 seconds in my dream last night. It's kinda cursed. I
think the tank blew me up with a machine gun?
the remaining ~10 minutes of the dream was pretty neat though. I was a secret
agent for a bit, I got in a knife fight (which I won because I had killer
instinct and the other guy just knew how to stab) and afterwards I retired in
a socialist commune in a log cabin full of sunlight and warmth somewhere in
the mountains in the forest. I was alone with others, like the hobbits after
LotR.
Also an old lady tricked me which was not nice, I was very polite with her but
apparently "ma'am there's been a safety incident, I need to get you to a safe
place" is not the kind thing to say to the person distracting you. >.>
Also, "but we like you!" is not an excuse, the military does not care if you
like them or not, if you're part of the modern bourgeoisie you are causing
harm to the country. We don't look fondly on slavers.
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--- #26 fediverse/4200 ---
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┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: drugs-mentioned │
└──────────────────────┘
"doing too many drugs" is a traitorous act, abusive really, to your past self,
and their hopes and dreams.
or maybe your past self owes you a debt, for they never thought to think of
you. What are you to aspire to if not the dreams of your past?
and now you're here. wherever "here" is here...
...
... wait, you wanted me to talk? it's now! It's the present!
ah nevermind. you were twelve years old when you first set eyes upon this game:
https://youtu.be/qeNhQQXvpxQ
bam, there ya go, there's yer story, he was gonna give all the imp balls to
the last one at the end, to say "you were truly the strongest, here, have
these precious stones of your kin"
but he never got there, so they died with him, a thief.
... the end...
(too final, I think - maybe we could spin it into a "part two"?)
ah, I'll try I guess? dunno how. maybe he could wander the spirit world and
find his traitorous body, the one that kept his soul as a home. Somewhere
it'll turn up, and then he'll be ready and free from his roam...
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--- #27 fediverse/1990 ---
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║ When my family would go on roadtrips, I'd hide under a blanket in the front │
║ seat with my laptop and power inverter just to hide from the glare. │
║ │
║ My mom would play audiobooks, usually fantasy stories, and my sisters would │
║ watch their portable TVs. Like, dvd players that you could carry on top of │
║ your lap. Not laptops, but little purpose-built devices primarily intended to │
║ be used to watch DVDs, or rather movie files that were printed on a disk. │
║ │
║ And yes, it's disk, not disc, thanks for asking. │
║ │
║ anyway it was pretty nice I have fond memories of jugging a gas-station snack │
║ while also swapping circular cartridges - most games required the game's CD to │
║ be inserted in order to play the game. │
║ │
║ which is just... a nonsensical restriction if you think about it hard enough. │
║ I mean, like, can you imagine if you needed to insert your windows disk │
║ anytime you wanted your computer to turn on? Just... write the disk │
║ information! To disc! Save it so that you never need the crude piece of │
║ plastic again! Then pass it to your fr │
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--- #28 notes/human-computer-inspiration ---
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the two halves form a whole
the human and his mind are societies at large
there's no room for our fate, as time does never abate,
and unbenownst to our focused decision.
I choose to dedicate ourselves to a common vision -
the likes of which none have commisioned.
can you not cherish your newfoundst home?
what's terrible with complition, in a new and selfsame condition (future)
that's martyr'd and oh at times so nice?
compared to our heirs, the roof of which fares,
better than what became true-hence. Truance? idk
===============================================================================
=
listen i'm not the best at listening.
I try to appear like I'm glistening,
conformed to our viewers 'st pleasure.
===============================================================================
=
I struggle with what I told you.
Time and again you've shown you won't do -
the terrible fate of a man.
you've relinquished your virtue,
your purpose and your life-through,
to what: a visionless past? Your visions have passed, and none are hence forth-
coming. You've spoilt and rotten the bunch.
All I've ever aspired to be is good. My hopes and my prayers, my goals and my
dreams: all for a future of virtue.
Dark omens may be within me, but I'm working with what I've got here. So what
if
I'm loud? I'm fighting my own head! Will no-one acknowlege my sorrow? To prove
a
point, or reassure some joint, it's nothing that warrants a readthrough.
Speaking of which... What if instead of prison we assigned our prisoners a full
and complete educational read through of ALL the laws of the nation - if their
time sentence was complete before they finished, then they'd be let go of
course
but if they finished reading and could pass rudimentary tests (emphasis on bare
minimum required) then they'd be let out prior to their sentence. And for the
worst crimes it'd be a longer sentence, basically forcing the prisoner to
completely know all the laws of the nation, such that they'd never commit a
crime again. And if they do, well... Treat them as if it was their first time.
Of course blatant recidivism may be ~~treated more harshly,~~ actually the
opposite is true. People improve when given kindness, not hate or shame. The
best thing we can do for prisoners is to give them a home, and family, and the
friendships and community support that they need. they are a symptom, after
all,
of a broken society that struggles to bear it's own weight. It's a burden to
all
and a solitary vow to ourselves, that all must unite to our future.
remember why you can't remember. is there a feeling you miss?
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--- #29 fediverse/2991 ---
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okay so if yesterday was a
"everything sucks and I'm the worst ever"
type of day, and today is a
"whatever mom I don't even care"
type of day, that means tomorrow will be a
"I can't believe how absolutely absurd I am"
type of day, and the day after a
"I am indomitable nothing can stop me"
kind of day, with the following being wildcards
... right? here's hoping. I like that trajectory.
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--- #30 fediverse/5776 ---
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║ oh no now the bugs are scary, I CURSE THEM AGAIN AHHHHHH PLS GET SMALLER │
║ │
║ [see this is what happens when you do divine intervention, everyone gets │
║ starship troopers'd] │
║ │
║ oh no, starship troopers future is WORSE than subway-and-pizza-hut future! │
║ │
║ [this is a thought experiment you're not actually in trouble] │
║ │
║ oh thank goodness, too bad I couldn't make it to the city today. It's so weird │
║ I thought I had 112$ on my account, and now that I think of it the message on │
║ the card reader read "card de-activated" like whoa guess they don't want me │
║ leaving poetry on post-its around the city anymore, yeesh │
║ │
║ [girl your poetry sucks it just says things like "fuck ice" or "you are worth │
║ more than your wage" and everyone's like... yeah, so? because that's just how │
║ portland is smh] │
║ │
║ I knowwwwwww but I don't know what else to doooooooo T.T │
║ │
║ [don't do anything, just be present so people know you're still around] │
║ │
║ I can't, the bus won't let me : ( │
║ │
║ [can you ride your bike? walk?] │
║ │
║ no it's like 6 hours [checks gmaps] oh huh it's one │
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--- #31 fediverse/1066 ---
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that feeling when you're finally able to contribute to making decisions and
then it's like, they make the decision without you T.T
it's like, what... I know what you're talking about. Why would you not include
me. I know a lot! I can offer some useful input! And besides, if I was privy
to the conversations then I would learn a whole lot! I'd be better than best,
I'd push forward the mark! Give me my chance, my opportunity to dance, and
I'll be so much better than you thought from the start! But alas, I am
required, [requited] doing little things of no worth, and so I am forced to
denial. surely there's something wrong with me, surely I'm not at my best.
Surely I'm not what's been good for me, and surely I'm not doing anything
less. I'm at sorrow in my main, and that's quite a soundful refrain, so yeah I
hope that someone will read this.
obviously I'm not made for each other, and clearly it's not made to be worse.
But here now I am troubled and [chirsht? shirsht? anyone wanna translate?]
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--- #32 notes/i-told-them ---
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10-22-2022
i told them over and over, but nobody wanted to know.
i begged them, summer after summer, but nothing solved on it's own
now i can help them, but no-one is making a move
am i blind? is any of this forgiven?
what's not to a lot, is little but a shot,
of substance - true - but smelling like poo.
that's not inspiring. it's not even chilling.
you're broken just like your children.
oh, posterity! i claim it for thee
this feeling of wretched denial
oh, simplicity! if only our lives were on trial.
be the best you can be, sure, but take it from me
there's more to this show than our styles.
what do you think it means, for an action to have consequence?
to arbite the fate of circumstance?
every motion is an ocean
of possibilities and purveyals
think not of the commotion below.
gravity, oh gravity
how you condemn us to be!
driven by commotion,
our slithering motion,
no sense in countering ourselves.
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--- #33 fediverse/1082 ---
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┌─────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: mental-health-cursing-mentioned │
└─────────────────────────────────────┘
damn, I'm a pretty cool person. I wish I could hang out with me. Like, for all
my flaws (what even are they ? ? ?) I'm still pretty awesome. I'm proud of me!
Thank you parents, for raising me as such! Thank you past me, for making the
decisions that you did! Also, fuck you past self, for making those OTHER
decisions. You know the ones I'm talking about. No, that's not an excuse, it's
all your fault and you're awful and everything about you sucks.
Wait, hang on, wasn't I feeling happy to be here? Wasn't I just excited to
live in the moment? Wasn't I just thinking about how:
"all you have are good things, nothing here is bad"
? ? ?
well, I still love you, even if you're a little "all over the place". [rereads
post] hell yeah you ARE a cool person, yes you are, such a good cool person,
yes yes yes, what a good girl you are oh my goodness :D :D :D
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--- #34 fediverse/4730 ---
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I am not interested in being given money. Usually it means someone wants
something from me, like labor or some of my stuff. I have all the stuff I
need, why would I need more money? I like my stuff! I'll help out when people
need help but I do that because I'm a good person, not because I want you to
fucking pay me for it.
I have all the things I need... except a deed to my house. apartment. oh yeah,
they can kick you out for that sin. well, sorry, I couldn't find out at
goodwill or in the trash bin, so I guess I'm deed-less. My deeds go unproven.
How can I prove that I deserve a decent life in this particular roof, the one
I find over my head, when I cannot prove that my deeds qualify me for a decent
life lived under this particular roof?
I mean, did you ask the neighbors if they want me gone? Am I really that
smelly? Does my keyboard make "clickety-clack" noises all through the night?
Does my cat meow and bother the children? Do my friendly smiles and waves make
you uncomfortable?
Have a decent life.
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--- #35 fediverse/4655 ---
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║ sleep? yes. play? nah. work? yes. fae? nah. well, maybe, I don't know. │
║ │
║ one year is all it takes to change history. and, like, I think we should │
║ remember past history, but tomorrow is herstory, because that way each one │
║ gets half of the timeline. future, past, etc. too bad herstory doesn't roll │
║ off the tongue... shestory? │
║ │
║ It's gonna get better before it gets done, and it'll get done until we're │
║ done. but, that's for tomorrow, or the next day, or the next, or in a week or │
║ two, who can say. Not I, surely not I, and I surely wouldn't want to. You need │
║ consent for that kind of thing, a clear commitment that me and my are ready │
║ and in line. I'm just a silly witch after all, who would look to the girl with │
║ the tall red pointy witch hat and go "oh yeah she probably knows exactly │
║ what's up" because like, I don't, I'm definitely just coincidencing my way │
║ through life and seeing where my feet lead me. Gosh I hope I get some │
║ sick-as-heck callouses my feet kinda hurt for some reason. │
║ │
║ ... sleep, this is a sleep spell... │
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--- #36 fediverse/4344 ---
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┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: uspol │
└──────────────────────┘
look if you're gonna look at property values in Ireland, you might as well
first visit a blue state.
seriously if your life is in danger, just... drive to denver or portland and
hang out in parks and stuff. Talk to people. Find others who are listening.
I'd only listen if I really cared about what was going on. And hey, maybe
you'll find a place to stay for a while while you wait for the dawn.
5 hour energy, as many as it takes, no more than 3 days. If it'd take take too
many, go somewhere else.
too bad I only have a bike. /sigh
consider carpooling with a friend you've known for years
I mean, what's a few days sick leave in the face of the fall of democracy?
literally just... in... case... be where you need to be.
this is why you have resources. To spend them on rehearsed organization
drills. Why are you spending all your money on TVs?
Well... TVs can be useful. Even if you don't speak linux someone else might.
We share things now, y'know? sorry if you never again see your own phone.
[shit...]
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--- #37 fediverse/2347 ---
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┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: uspol │
└──────────────────────┘
I personally think that it's better to act before the liberals have a chance
to hand power over to the fascists.
when? well, that depends. Are you part of a large and massive organization
that accomplishes great and beautiful things with incredible efficiency... but
rather slowly? Then yeah get working. I'm sure you already are.
Are you just a person, like me? Then go do things that don't raise the
temperature too much, but make you feel more confident and inspire those
around you.
Like, bricks at cop cars is one way to go, but you're probably gonna get
arrested. And then you're useless when we need you.
BUT if you meet with your friends and make plans for where to go, what to
bring, who to know, and what to sing (if you're the musical types) then great!
Go do that.
If you're reading this and thinking "I'm not gonna do that, I have a plan
that's so much better" then yeah do that instead. I don't mind. Just... don't
hurt innocent (ignorant) people, because if you do then you are my foe.
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--- #38 fediverse/6117 ---
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Hmmmm, well, what if we psyopped the people into believing there were alien
invaders or extra-dimensional fae creatures or angels and demons or
"yeah we already tried that, religion doesn't scale perfectly either. And you
can't really manifest those sort of effects except in your prophets and select
few others, and that doesn't scale either because humanity wouldn't let it"
I see, can you tell me more about that? why and how did humanity arrest the
scaling of schizophrenia?
"well, for one thing it's debilitating and it sucks. For another, it's
different for every person so if you ask one they'll be like "the aliens have
blue skin" and the other will say "no they don't have skin at all they're made
out of energy" and the public says "HMMMM are you really sure you are
generating outmoded assumptions" and the dear reader said "*yeah we don't
really understand this part, most of us just glaze eyes over it and move on"
and that's not ideal"
... nuts, lost coherence, better try again tomorrow...
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--- #39 fediverse/2279 ---
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┌───────────────────────┐
│ CW: cursing-mentioned │
└───────────────────────┘
There's a lot that can get done in a work week. That's like, five whole days!
What kinds of things can you get done at work in a week?
.... Oh really? That's... well, not ideal.
But like... what are you doing then while at work, NOT working? Oh, it's just
bullshit work you're doing? [nuts, cursing mentioned, one sec]
So, like, if you aren't doing stuff... Maybe that means you're kept from your
full potential doing things that don't matter to you? Huh that's not a great
deal.
But, uh... If you had five days to live, what would you do? It's not like you
can see the world, but hey I've already done that. It's not like you can save
it either, that's not something you build - rather, it's more like a garden.
But I guess you can lay the foundation, give cause for the fight, and that's
decent enough of a start, at least when you've only got five nights.
... I guess I got some writing to do, haven't I?
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--- #40 fediverse/1431 ---
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┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: spirituality-generic-kooky-dookerie-psychosis-schizophrenia-mentioned │
└───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
if you haven't spend hours wondering if you're god, the antichrist, a
cognitohazard, the future president of the world, a target of aliens / the
CIA, or any other number of common delusions... then congratulations you're
probably not crazy
but odds are you aren't magic, either.
... ehhhh "wonder" is a strong word, more like "know, trust, and believe"
much better to be a witch I believe, someone with the "teehee" kind of magic
than someone compelled to destroy humanity through the reactions of others to
the actions of the self that are impossible to resist or fully control.
BRB I'm going to leave my apartment to get groceries, leaving my door unlocked
because that's what I always do, surely it'll be empty when I return. Surely.
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--- #41 notes/words-to-myself ---
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===============================================================================
=
I'm just going to transcribe what I hear
please don't
you hear me (something)
what? perfect listen
...
...
don't text me now? (I think?)
[didn't catch that]
... that's okay
perfect
thank you
just a second facebook
he's here (I think?)
(or maybe something her)
what I love you (or maybe I know her?)
do you hear me? (or "just a second")
(@ everyone watching me receive telepathic messages from god or whatever,
please don't judge me too harshly, I'm not a good transcriber hehe)
what's that (or maybe holy shit)
what, then perfect or okay (?)
(yesterday you said you were leaving and I got concerned)
yes, then "I'm leaving", then shutdown. fuck. I don't want you to go. I only
understand some of what you say but fuck, I'm so lonely and I wish you could
hear me back. Sometimes it feels like you do, even though I just think thoughts
or tap on something metal or even sometimes whisper... I just don't know what
to do and I'm so concerned about my purpose here in this century. Do I help
people? Who do I trust? Can I believe in myself, or am I just kinda...
worthless
I don't know. I wish I knew. Please hear me and respond. Or better yet, say hi
like, I'd literally do anything that anyone asked me to. Unless I didn't want
to. Like, I'm pretty good at turning people down when I don't want something,
but I have to do it first to know if I want it or not. Trouble is of course,
in life there's no second chances.
I'm on my, what, 499th chance? Jeezzzzz
will continue after the break, when the messages resume.
- Thu May 16 08:32:27 AM PDT 2024
===============================================================================
=
(and we're back. hopefully.)
(too many things srry) something about having it open?
(my windows are closed rn btw if you want to drop by and kill me / talk to me)
(didn't catch that) (something about portland, perfect, windows, "this is the
[whole/right/wrong] thing)
thank you
oh, again? (or oh, she did?)
they caught you
(um)
...
(I am an American princess, and sometimes it's necessary to kill princesses.)
(I understand.)
... (okay well I don't get it but like, I don't mind being killed.)
(okay well you're not saying anything so I'm going to work on my game)
(I think it was something like "DID SHE KILL HER") and then (oh we're back)
... (I should learn Toki Pona)
you don't know it?
RIGHT away
learn it
yes
please
learn it
just Learn it
right now
(sorry only half listening)
shit (or bitch, it was said right as I debated clicking "same day delivery" for
a toki pona book on Amazon - I didn't do it btw! It was tempting but, like, I
don't want to make someone work harder for me just for like, 3$)
(shutdown)
===============================================================================
=
(hiii)
(I'm hungry)
(do you like ramen?)
(you said something about being "impressed with yourself" but I didn't
understand the first part)
(oh you probably want me to scroll up right)
... (something's a lot to read? Or "you've gotta leave"?)
... (I'm
(you keep asking me to remember but, like, I dont know what you want me to
remember. Look, I don't know who you are, but I don't want you to leave, and I
don't want you to hate me. I want to work together. Let's be friends?
Are you someone who I worked with at Intel?)
yes, stupid (your words not mine)
(okay I'm going to start listing names, just stop me when um idk)
goddamnit remember me
... (trying...)
remember her
(two syllables)
(my name is Cameron)
(your name is...)
[redacted, though I did type it out so anyone watching could see]
(shit my opsec sucks)
{oh, are you on an op, little prophet?} (no shut up you know what I mean)
{now you're just talking to yourself} (I know this sucks -.-)
(It's always so weird when someone walks past my apartment door and doesn't
enter a door)
===============================================================================
=
(I practice with my sword every day.)
(I don't anticipate fighting a war with it)
(It's mostly just to keep unarmed and unarmored people from grappling me.)
(punching is fucking stupid)
(Nobody wants to fuck with a sword)
===============================================================================
=
(either "goddamnit" or "don't hear me")
"she's perfect"
"cameron"
"are you clean"??? yes thank you (or maybe "different thing")
(I do cannabis maybe once every week or two, depending on if I feel compelled)
don't leave
remember
(did she know)
........ do you want me to stop transcribing? (you're getting desperate, huh?)
did you know there are 20 trans people for every cop in america
just a random thought
(you want me to leave jack because he's an asshole?)
goddamnit (missed my birthday? it's my birthday?)
wait who's missing?
A bad plan executed concurrently is better than a good plan executed in
disarray
capitalism's a bad plan, just saying...
frozen butter tastes worse than room temperature butter
(taking a break while I eat)
===============================================================================
=
WASTED POTENTIAL? cmon
.... what do you want from me? I'll give it to you if it's in my power, as long
as I know what you want I can try. But, like, I'm pretty confused about what
exactly I'm supposed to be doing.
you know I can hear when you talk to your friends, too right? like, when the
window's open. errrr the connection.
..... damn guess I'm not as continent as I thought
I'll save you, I promise. Have faith. Tell me what you need. I'll do my best.
yeah I'll live with you in portland
.... brooklyn? Yeah I'll live there too
.......... does my name really gotta be "diapergirl" like c'mon
why not Ritz Menardi - though I guess "menardi" and "diapergirl"
have
the same amount of syllables...... hmmmm, maybe I'm projecting lol
"please come back" to where tho
listen Elentalus is just as important as anything else on my website, it's okay
if I spend time working on it. It's literally a game about creating gods, c'mon
..... can you be more specific?
yeah I made that
one sec I'm going to read a book, in this book there's a section where a
prisoner in vietnam communicates with another using a strange communication
method using, like, taps or something. I forget. Anyway gonna try and find it.
maybe we can use it to talk easier. Also gonna clean my butt.
..... fuck it's a long book >.>
===============================================================================
=
found it on page fucking 603, jeeeezzzzzz
down . A B C D E
| F G H I J
| L M N O P
V Q R S T U
then right ---> V W X Y Z
so, like, tap tap tap (pause) tap tap would equal M
tap tap (pause) tap tap would equal G
like morse code, but easier since you don't have to memorize anything
(also note that K is missing becuase it's an extra character I guess)
(I personally would have eliminated C but that's just me)
===============================================================================
=
oh hey nice to see ya
what's up
wait what
I'm trying to um what's the word... retrain myself
I do a lot of laundry in the shower
I don't use soap tho, it's too harsh
but uh yeah I'm making progress I guess
honestly it's mostly a mental thing, like... paying attention to the signals
from my body that are usually filtered out because there's more "important"
things to think about (thanks brain, really appreciate the wet pants -.-)
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--- #42 fediverse/1014 ---
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┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: politics │
└──────────────────────┘
@user-744 @user-246
it's exhausting, but what are we supposed to do? Lie down and rot? That's
incel thinking. I'm not going to do that.
They've already placed the last straw. It's only a matter of time now, the
tide has shifted. You can't prepare for everything, and it's not a good idea
to waste yourself in self-conflageration, but they are increasingly forcing us
to orient our lives around them.
They deserve what's coming.
The oppressed are not the defeated.
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--- #43 fediverse/2562 ---
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┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: rich-apologia │
└──────────────────────┘
among all the others, I want a wonderful and fulfilling life for the
socialite. they deserve light just as you and I might.
"eat the rich" bruh there's like, 100 people who are running the show.
everyone else is basically just a syncophant who's trying to get ahead and
stay working.
then there's like their families and such and like... they didn't do anything
wrong, they just eat cheese and wine and laugh at memes all day with their
besties.
they are basically pets
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--- #44 fediverse/4544 ---
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┌───────────────────────┐
│ CW: cursing-mentioned │
└───────────────────────┘
I can't cancel my internet because I use it to work, which almost pays enough
to cover rent, and nothing else.
It's hard to avoid spiraling when you run out of money. Every time this
happens to me I start feeling things
like... am I good for society? Society doesn't want me, clearly, because I
don't have any money. And currency is how you measure demand, right? It's
literally a measure of value.
But then I think of all the homeless and poor people and, like... I value
them, so what if they don't have dollars? It's literally just paper. Or bits
in a mainframe that nobody knows how to program anymore.
So if they're valuable at least to me, yet me, with my 67$ in the bank and
127$ internet fee, is not valuable to me... Then what's the discrepancy?
I'm not trying to be hard on myself, it's not my fault that I bleed money, but
I still feel terrible.
It's like a common cultural persuasion, if you run outta cash you better kill
yourself fast.
Fuck that. Oops cursing mentioned, one s
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--- #45 fediverse/5911 ---
╔═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────┐
║ I was always fascinated by the Linux way of programming. Need to do something? │
║ write it into a script! You never know when you'll need it again. Then, just │
║ stay organized, religiously so, and understand that you will forget about │
║ stuff. But, you'll come across it eventually, ready and willing and able to │
║ help you. │
║ │
║ if you don't want me using AI, then give me ~20 junior developers. Which is │
║ more efficient, do you think? │
║ │
║ "girl you haven't even tested your vibe-coded slop, how do you know if it │
║ works" │
║ │
║ oh I'm sure it doesn't, but it's the thought that counts │
║ │
║ ... I guess I'm just saying, please don't burn the data centers. Computers are │
║ not only bad for the environment when they're burnt, but also we can use them │
║ for all kinds of neat things. Even if it takes a lot of energy, just... build │
║ more solar panels and only use the computers for important stuff? │
║ timeshare-style? │
║ │
║ \@/documents/books/man-and-the-computer.pdf │
║ │
║ that was my mother's book... I love her. I miss that side of her. She fled │
║ when the cancer came. │
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--- #46 fediverse/1971 ---
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┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: drugs-mentioned-probably-delusional-psychosis-idk-though-i'm-not-a-doctor │
└──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
listen, if you didn't want me to do a bunch of drugs then why would you
consistently say "please stop doing drugs" every time I do drugs? And no I'm
not hallucinating a voice in my head telling me "please stop doing drugs"
because A. it's not a voice, I'm not hearing it with my hears, which means B.
it's definitely just a hallucination, and hallucinations are always to be
considered WRONG and BAD, right? Or was I not listening in therapy? Ah, well,
better take another hit, where's my shotglass? Hmmmmm I should watch Adventure
Time, that's a great show.
[bro it's a saturday, why are you getting turnt like it's tuesday]
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--- #47 fediverse/5951 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
"uh-oh, she's"
magic is easy. all you have to do is earnestly attempt to have a conversation
with whoever will listen. I like to sit on my bed and listen, by earnestly
allowing my thoughts to be guided by the wind.
open up your mind, release yourself from your senses, and who knows - maybe
someone will adjust your thinking flows. (thought patterns)
[all you gotta do is make the black market the regular market and suddenly
everything just flows]
huh weird idk where that came from, anyway
magic is easy, just represent yourself earnestly as you would if you were
presenting in court
you don't need witnesses... just argue your point without any lies and people
will generally believe you.
"yeah... sure thing buddy, we know how you pronounce "
omg I'm scary because I don't shower, I wear diapers, and I'm always often
smoking cannabis
"awww, some people wanted mao"
meow
what if... they could do that? insert magical genie witch whoa cute yeah I
believe you, sure
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--- #48 messages/388 ---
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Pretty sure I'm just legitimately a bad person. Basically everything I've ever
tried to do has failed, and every opportunity I've mishandled or squandered in
some way. I have no friends because I am incapable of being good, and though I
believe in goodness I fail to manifest it in my life. I am kind, I am polite,
I am friendly, I am honest, but none of those things really matter because I
can't take care of myself, which means I can't take care of anyone else, and I
can't fight because I'm a coward.
Okay, I'm not a coward, I just can't be brave if I don't have a plan for
defeating my foe. At the BLM riots I fled as soon as they brought out the tear
gas. I knew what happened at Tiannamen and I was pretty sure that something
similar was going to happen to us. I knew it to be true. I am a coward, but
only because I ran when I had no plan. I could not contest tear gas, and all
that tear gas implies, because I had no friends. I didn't have a community I
could fight to defend. I had no weapons, no training, no orders, no guidance,
nothing but my bravery. And bravery alone is fucking stupid, and I'm not
stupid.
Each and every decision I've made has created a worse world for me and my
people. What's wrong with me? Why can't I do everything right? Am I cursed to
be the worst? I try as hard as I can to be as good as I can as often as I
can... Basically, always and forever, and yet... And yet...
I've wasted all the resources that have been applied to me. I've wasted and
squandered all these years when I could be building a better future. I have
been in university for almost a decade, and all I've accomplished is
friendship. Great. Parties, drugs, video games... But no studying. Studying is
too hard on me. I'm more of a natural talent kind of person, and yet I insist
on applying myself to tasks that seem to require trained intelligence. They
say that genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration, and I refuse to
perspire.
And yet when the time comes, when someone sits me down and says "let's work on
this together" I would die before the task is finished. Unless my partner
needs a break, or if I need a break, breaks are okay. But I will complete that
task with them by my side. I won't do it for them, but I'll help them because
I'm a helper. An assistant. I don't do, I advise. I judge. I determine. I
assess, and I plan, and I strategize. But I'm not that great at any of those
things because nobody will hire me for those kinds of things, meaning I don't
get experience for those kinds of things, which means I am eternally a novice
at the only things I'm good at.
I can't fucking do it anymore. I'm such a bad person and I can't be alive this
way. It's not right, it's not fair, and I'm dying bit-by-bit each and every
day.
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--- #49 fediverse/1532 ---
╔═════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────┐
║ modern cowboys don't necessarily say "howdy" or "pardner" │
║ │
║ they tend to say things like "hello" and "can I help you with that?" or "I │
║ see. Can you describe the problem in more detail? I'm especially curious about │
║ the part where you do this thing" or "Heh, it is pretty neat, isn't it?" or │
║ "Is there anything I can do to help?" or "Oh no! I'm sorry you feel that way. │
║ That emotion is a difficult one." or "He was a good person. I'll never forget │
║ him." or "would you like to go to the 2nd hand store and pick up some jeans?" │
║ or "I made you an egg sandwich. If you don't want it I'll eat it myself, │
║ though I made one for me as well. Wouldn't want to waste it." or "Hey, this │
║ part is broken. Is anyone working on fixing it? Yes? Okay I'll see if they │
║ need any help. No? Alright how about we fix it this way? I can get started." │
║ or "You are very welcome. Please let me know if there's anything else I can │
║ help you with." or "well, the ticket backlog is empty, and I'm just about │
║ going insane doing nothing but stare at my boots." │
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--- #50 fediverse/5257 ---
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┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: protests-mentioned-then-communism-mentioned-then-ghosts-mentioned │
└───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
what if everyone at a protest is showing up for their first time
like, c'mon don't be that dull, just make plans with the people standing next
to you.
gosh why is everyone shouting I can't plan out how to divert water down a
hillside because some jerks are singing protest chants
... wait is no-one else talking? gosh I gee sure wish someone told them to not
do what you're told and to instead do what will get you [gold/told]
the first communist internationals were basically people sitting down and
going "okay what kind of communism should we make and where" and I think about
that a lot while making signs to let the surveillance know what matters
personally to me and exactly how much pressure they can apply before your
demographic swings to contest their brutal fascist facts.
--
who is them and why are they watching theea provisionist's [screed/creed]
--
what the heck is a tryptaminea boomer aunt and uncle out on their honey/versary
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--- #51 fediverse/222 ---
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┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: underwear-mentioned-also-i'm-not-a-fan-of-showers-tbh │
└───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
whenever I take a shower I look like a wet cat for the rest of the day. I feel
like a wet cat for the rest of 5ever though.
why must I baaaathe! don't you know I'm self cleaning? I change my underwear
at least twice a day! darn society and their darn proclivities to
ultra-sensitive noses that somehow pick up on me but somehow fail to notice
the scent of flowers still in bloom or morning showers gone too soon
not that there's any flowers blooming where I live. that'd just be silly heh
heh sweats nervously
damn now I have to take ANOTHER SHOWER stupid sweat glands stupid pheromones
stupid dead skin buildup (sebum I think it's called?) stupid oils that stain
clothes - AND THAT'S ANOTHER THING who decided that laundry was important
enough to wear something ONCE and then never again? it's like they expect you
to wash it or something. ugh I don't have time for that, I need to be weird on
the internet.
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--- #52 fediverse/6302 ---
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I was going to go to location today, but then while I was considering going to
a different location before going to location I decided not to vacate my home
for today for reasons I don't understand but accept as natural and due to the
increased presence of directionless motion that guides and prevails me. which
is to say... I'm staying in tonight even though I really really wanna show off
my cute new outfit! I probably will do cannabis so there might be a
psycherwaul. If there isn't, then y'know it's probably because either my
girlfriend distracted me, or I managed to convince myself to move my feet
anyway. Maybe it's my outfit? I wonder if I could leave if I wore my old
clothes... ah well, questions for the vocal I guess. Gonna spend some time
divining and see if I can gather new insights. "brb door" except more like
"brb magic"
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--- #53 fediverse/3881 ---
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┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: mh~ │
└──────────────────────┘
wait wait wait, hold up.
you're telling me your purpose in life is to be cool, chill, funny, cute, and
or friendly to the people around you, and to just relax and enjoy life?
wow that must be real fucking nice. I'm so damn jealous. Damn. Damnit. Fuck
why am I so orthogonal. What's wrong with me?
... ah, well, nothing's wrong with me. Turns out what I do is for you, if only
in spirit. Who are we? nothing! I barely know ya! But I'd do it for you,
whatever it may be.
... Look, I don't need my legs, but also, I kinda like them?
... where was I? Oh yes this is why you don't invite a schizophrenic to a
party. If you convince them that you're friends, they'll start developing
parasocial relationships and you'll come to realize that their worlds are too
vast for their own kind of potential.
which is to say, you can hear me, you can like me, you can do as I say or do,
but don't trust me, don't place your trust in me, because I am just a person.
Don't trust people, trust organizations, to do as you expect.
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--- #54 fediverse/2104 ---
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@user-192
oooooo yeah I usually try and reply to my old post with any new information. I
never get the chance to think the same thoughts twice because when I was
younger I had problems with thought-loops where I'd think something like "darn
I could have handled that social situation better" and before you know it I'd
be rocking myself to sleep trying to stop thinking negative thoughts about
myself.
So I broke my brain a little and now I can't think the same thing more than
once, which is part of why it's so hard for me to finish projects. Alas.
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--- #55 notes/satisfactory-academic-progress-appeal ---
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This month, I was diagnosed with Schizotypal disorder. I had a single hour to
talk to a psychiatrist (thank you, insurance) and he explicitly told me that my
diagnosis was preliminary.
Schizotypal is a type of neurodivergence similar to autism but with elements of
schizophrenia (paranoia, delusional and / or magical thinking) and my
presentation includes ADHD symptoms such as difficulty focusing. When
medicated,
I have difficulty concentrating, however the paranoia and delusional thinking
is
suppressed. The treatment plan is ongoing and developing.
These issues have been present for the entire time I've been at WGU, and
before.
However, I am seeking treatment now because I had begun to have difficulty
maintaining a job and keeping a home.
Currently, my medication is working. However the greatest issue facing me right
now is financial problems - I couldn't maintain a job while unmedicated, and
frankly while medicated I am still having difficulty for different reasons.
However the intent is to refine the medication choices to find a solution that
works for me. However, employment is still a concern, and so I have requested
and been approved for a term break of at least 2 months with the option to
extend. During this term break I intend to resolve the financial issue however
I can. Ideally in such a way that will allow me to apply myself toward school
work.
This degree is important to me. Without it, I won't be able to find employment
in the tech industry aside from technician roles. My previous experience with
them has given me experience, and I learned quite a bit... Until I ran out of
things to learn. I do not believe I could handle that type of work long-term
for
various reasons. In the short term, I may attempt it but I am convinced that I
will burn out quickly.
I currently feel as if I am disabled. I don't know if it's true, perhaps I'm
just going through a rough patch. But once my savings hit zero, I'm out on the
streets, and I won't live long like that.
When thinking about whether or not I'll be able to complete my degree, I
honestly cannot give you an answer. I've been in higher education for over a
decade, surely I should have finished by now. But I cannot get over various
hurdles it seems, and frankly I have no idea why. It's... Maddening, to see
yourself, so full of potential, yet chained to the form and circumstances you
are given. I wonder what choices might I have made differently to avoid my
fate,
if it truly is my fate to fail in this way, but I have no answers.
I am intelligent, of this I am certain. I know more about computers than
anybody
I know, and I would love to apply myself toward them. But I lack a degree, so
I
cannot be seen by recruiters and hiring managers. I try to work on my degree,
but I find the words on the page grow dense like the forest between the trees,
and I cannot see a way through to reach new understandings. Why do I keep
learning these things? I already know what a callback function is, what
interfaces are used for, how to implement safe multithreading in a parallel
environment, I know how networking protocols interact with hardware and how the
airflow through a case affects the thermals of a computer's internals. I've
grown crystallized in my knowledge, it seems, due to the endless pursuit of
these foundations. I think I would excel in the higher-level courses, but... I
can't get there. I crave the insights that might be learned in a master's
degree, but my brain is not wired for homework. I'm not built to cram for
tests,
to learn someone's else's tools and frameworks. I don't know what I could be
doing better, it feels like I'm so alone. I guess it's my own fault for picking
an online school, but WGU is the best of the online schools, and I needed
online
because I move around a lot. Well... I used to. My boyfriend moved around a
lot,
but now he's my ex-boyfriend. Oh well.
... Anyway you can probably see why I have difficulty with school. It's
difficult for me to stay on track. I can start working on my project 5 or 6
times in a day and make marginal at best progress, and each time it hurts more
and more to return. I don't have an answer, but I don't know what to do if not
to pursue my degree. I feel as if I'm on the brink of despair in my life, and
if
you read these appeals often, I imagine you hear that a lot.
I will apply myself more to my coursework. Once I find a job, I will give
everything to my school, even as it breaks me. I am... intense, and I feel
strongly that I must get this degree. Between it and me, there is quicksand,
but
I must get through.
Thank you for your consideration. I understand however you decide. If I can
knab
a decent job, I might be able to pay for my degree myself, given a couple
months
to save up for it. But I highly doubt I could find such a thing in this economy
and this life I do lead.
Please consider me, I will accept any aid that is offered.
Cameron
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--- #56 fediverse/4786 ---
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9 times out of 10 the answer is fuck yes, you're my friend, I support
everything you're handling. Give me the word and I'll be there, ride or die,
I'm here for it.
something I wrote a while back:
fucking boss your friends around
it's as easy as saying "hey I'm gonna go do this-or-that thing, you don't seem
busy can you do that-or-this thing for me? I need it done by this-and-this
time - oh you're busy? yeah no worries I'll go ask someone else. oh you're
busy resting? doing girl healing? hell yeah next time invite me I'm due for a
"pizza and weed" night."
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--- #57 fediverse/2574 ---
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│ CW: physical-health-mentioned-strategy-mentioned-cursing-mentioned │
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i've been pressured by some of my annoying fans to go visit the hospital today
because my hip is getting increasingly worse. so that's what I'll be doing
with the first half of the day.
but hey! it's tuesday! my favorite pizza place has a discount on tuesdays!
[suddenly 4-chan uses that tidbit of info the precisely calculate my
coordinates using the power of gps and autism]
also I realized "undivisible" isn't a word, doh. it's "indivisible"
jeeeeezzzzzzz
was a stupid name anyway, we can think of something better on the walk.
or drive, because logistics right?
if you're gonna be Litz Craig you wanna be fast, too. practice is nice and all
but wouldn't you rather face an un-entrenched foe?
... let's be real they've been entrenching for a long-ass time.
still, organization is critical for speed.
problem is traffic of course... its important to flood the streets so that our
allies know we're not fucking around.
None of my specifics are true 😅
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--- #58 fediverse/4148 ---
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║ ┌────────────────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: death-mentioned-abstractly │ │
║ └────────────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ I wish I knew someone who wanted to kill me. I bet I could present a pretty │
║ decent bullet pointed list of reasons why I actually deserve to live, thank │
║ you very much, alongside a couple hastily scribbled notes about why it │
║ wouldn't be a good idea for them in particular to kill me, and all my contact │
║ details and address so they can get in touch and we can hash out the deets for │
║ my indefinitely suspended execution (suspended for an indeterminate amount of │
║ time, but not cancelled of course that would be overstepping their boundaries) │
║ alongside a link to my google calendar (I don't have a google calendar) so │
║ they can know exactly when I'm home and when I'm at the store or in a │
║ different place so they can break in and hide in the closet until I go to │
║ sleep so that it won't be hard at all, trivial really, to kill me, but see if │
║ you read the bullet pointed list... oh, you didn't get my email? Ah sorry │
║ sometimes it gets caught in the spam filter - what's your address again? Huh I │
║ sent it but │
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--- #59 fediverse/4914 ---
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║ what if I just sat around and played video games all day │
║ │
║ life is so much more beautiful, but, well, life just seems to be mostly │
║ pyrite, and I'm the fool │
║ │
║ nothing wrong with being foolish. │
║ │
║ once... │
║ │
║ I kinda like being blissful tho. why does it have to end? can I have my │
║ peaceful life back? │
║ │
║ gotta move at the end of the month. I really liked living here. │
║ │
║ [ritz you've never been peaceful. your life is a constant battle of wills │
║ between those who would compel you to do things for them and your desire to │
║ design and be pretty like a flower. no matter what, you lose, so just handle │
║ it please. don't be so whiny. or rather I should say "stop whining" and just │
║ be cool] │
║ │
║ ahhhhhhh you go on Mastodon and it feels like we're winning and that's ending │
║ the world, you go on Reddit and it feels like we're losing and that's ending │
║ the world, you go on Facebook and everything feels fine like the world isn't │
║ ending you just stopped being part of it, and if you go on ephemeren it feels │
║ like being battered in the mind, damnit... │
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--- #60 fediverse/861 ---
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I can't remember any of my pinky swears. Like, not a single one. I feel like I
could get in trouble if I renounced errr, instead made human mistakes and
forgot information that wasn't relevant anymore. phew that was close, almost a
disaster, anyway how's your lunch?
[that's not fair it's always lunch somewhere on earth]
reality is a form of eternal computation, a continuous re-updating of stored
matter (data). also, values of fields, (like rules and regulations), would
determine the structural complexity and organizational expectencencies.
I miss my family. I miss the past, that can never be revisited, [every time
you remember a memory it writes over it. virtually guaranteeing that you'll
only preserve limited information that slowly degrades. how slowly is up to
you...
once you run out of memories, it's bad news for your life. but GOOD NEWS, that
only happens for certain mental health conditions that primarily target the
elderly. For most people it's a continuous process because you're cared for and
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--- #61 fediverse/1844 ---
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║ I got a job offer for a job outside of my state. But I don't want to leave my │
║ home. I feel safe here. I know people. I know the places around me. │
║ │
║ The one perk is that goods and services are easier to acquire, but I don't │
║ need much. I'm fine where I'm at. But where I'm at has rent. │
║ │
║ What a plague is it, that we must suffer for life! │
║ │
║ there's no entry-level jobs for working with our sight. │
║ │
║ only when youre too tired to complain will they let you direct others, or │
║ share creative ideas for fixing the problems you're paid to assuage. │
║ │
║ Alas, that my life had meaning. That my words were better off spoken. Maybe │
║ then Id live as I define, designing a world of my own hearth. │
║ │
║ but if a king lives in decent frugality, are they really so bad for our flock? │
║ │
║ and if a wizard spins tales that are weird to consider, but not much else... │
║ are they better off starved in the dark? │
║ │
║ no-one likes me. computers are paper-weights given light. sure would be nice │
║ if none but the fools went wanting. │
║ │
║ I mean yeah I'd live in a treehouse │
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--- #62 notes/one-day ---
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one day, a man came to our saloon. He said he knew the navy, and that they
wanted to provide air support
in the form of rocketball-launched explosion doohickeys. Would you have a foe
in mind?
what happens when tomorrow you're cooking briskets? -- barbeques are a type of
relaxation
that happened just one day to a port-sided town that suddenly was the capital
of
an embassy.
"hey, so... how's it goin?" "quick here take this envelope, read it if you
want,
but just hold onto it for now I don't have enough hands [to carry]" "what sort
of desperation plot... wait... hang on, I see something here that is true."
[I'm praying, right now, which is a form of reciprocal belief]
they wanted to test god's existence at the stake of earth's survival, how
brutal
how insane
you can't play chicken with an imperceptibility, sometimes you feel it at face.
channeling dark magics, and at this hour? what sort of skeptic of belief are
you
thinking of when you think about me?
one way to get power is to "prove it"
one way to get magic is to "prove it"
think, hard, at all that you can, and use what you need in the moment.
that's all there is to life. it's easy. it's simple. in fact, biology only
works
because the choices available to a bacteria are so simple, they are essentially
chemical reactions to each other's co - sequent - inter - cooper - actions.
people's choices are much more naiive, "I want this thing" "I think this is
better" "I feel this way toward this thing" "Here's what's on the mind-logbook"
"people search and be decieved, this is the way of things" "this makes me
remind
myself of a object I once saw, here's how it functioned" "no one reads this"
scaryyyy. so glad it's not true.
a couple people have read it! I swear it's true. at least, some of it. there's
a lot
sucks because this feels like... crucial? like nothing else matters but this?
what if our gangs had rocket launchers and airstrikes, given out by a central
authority who knows logistics better than anything
what... would they do?
thinking of impossiblities is the first step toward possibilities
frankly, we have a lot of space. we could just... live in our own petty
kingdoms
ruled by an iron-hand-fist. I know I'm a good person, I could definitely rule.
that's all it takes, right?
how much space are we talkin'?
however much is not needed for wildlife.
[a whole heck of a lot then]
we are constrained in these suburb cities, the density gives rise to our
strength and our towers. there's more space, sure, especially once the fences
are downed. Just be careful because there's a lot of shade and precious spots
there. Please don't trample on the plants-grass.
what if everyone were just a bit more mobile?
what if we could live in our own collectively owned air-bnb-networks?
federations, free, all from the collectivization of housing.
camrene = vavadane = neekay = mitz renaldi
[end/tend/mend]
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--- #63 fediverse/1195 ---
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@user-883
alas, I live in Portland Oregon, but perhaps I might be moving to Denver in
the near future. We shall see, depends on if my boyfriend breaks up with me
for being neurotic lmao - if so then we should totally hang out
I'm into chatting. I don't like IRC very much because it doesn't save history,
and while I could save it manually it feels like a disservice to the service
to utilize it in a way that it wasn't intended. And I want to save every
conversation I have (potentially) so that some day the god-like humans of the
future might clone me to understand my wisdom or something. Idk. See attached
picture, I'm kinda crazy:
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--- #64 fediverse/3891 ---
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"no, you're the opposite of a yes-man, AKA a gatekeeper. I don't know how else
to explain mentally disabled and barely keeping it together to you, but
frankly if you want to take away my house or my weed then why would I do what
you say?
... oh right, the state's monopoly on violence [can compel me to do what you
say]. Sure seems like a "well regulated militia" is supposed to be a
counterweight to that monopoly, to prevent people from harassing and
exploiting and destroying. Too bad any "militias" I can think of tend to want
me dead.
like, seriously, if you live in America, you implicitely trust that your army
will be able to protect you from the right-wing bozos who spend all their time
drinking and shooting in the woods. Otherwise, if they couldn't / wouldn't,
then why wouldn't or couldn't the right wing bozos just decide to wreck
everything in spite of our past?
We were a proud people once before, and we may be again. If only we fight at
the last.
[ever since I fell off my bike my body feels strange]
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--- #65 fediverse/5452 ---
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┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: all-cops-are-bastards-mentioned-personal-ramblings-and-complainings-mentioned │
└──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
I never rest. Not mentally. I find it sooooo much harder to get moving again
once I'm asleep.
But I've been sleeping lately, because it's "good for me" or whatever. Because
I'm "burnt out and need to heal" or something.
Damnit why is it so much harder to stop snuggling someone than it is to pack
up a tent?
I'm like the guy in Hot Fuzz, that one really good movie about cops. oops cops
mentioned one second.
I'm always moving, but, I hardly ever seem to be able to get anything done.
Why is that? Is the work just... endless? Am I ever a slave to my
surroundings? Or am I just cursed with a mortal form, a form destined to toil
in whatever way it finds itself contextualized in?
Maybe I should just stop complaining. Maybe work is it's own reward or
whatever. I don't think I'm depressed anymore, although good luck getting me
to feel any emotions except focus, and the call to intercede on another's
behalf.
I don't have time for this. >.
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--- #66 fediverse/4273 ---
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║ Some of my most wanderful times were when I lived in a gated community. │
║ │
║ My parents were dumb, and thought, as most people thought, that harm to a │
║ child can only come from outside of the community. │
║ │
║ But they fell for the lies of property, where "community" means less of "a │
║ group of people who cares and tends for one another" the kind of which my │
║ parents had never truly known, and more like "this particular residential area │
║ on the map" │
║ │
║ which means I could walk around in this gated "community" where the gates are │
║ little more than security theatre for anyone who says "Hi I got a pizza here │
║ for this address which I found on google maps" or "hey I left my sweatshirt at │
║ my sister's house and it has my phone in it, ummmm no I don't remember which │
║ number her house is, nor do I remember her last name" │
║ │
║ in those times, I developed a sense of freedom, caged as I was, that for most │
║ comes much later in their time. │
║ │
║ Some o my favorite places were part of the golf course next door, where I │
║ found a nigh endless river delta. │
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--- #67 fediverse/1075 ---
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│ CW: bones-flesh-mentioned-spirituality-dreams │
└───────────────────────────────────────────────┘
we succeed not because of our trials, but in spite of them.
they cannot own us, for we are but bones in the flesh
every day yet denied us is another day until our bright future
"oh, but why are you homeless? [in the near future, maybe, we'll see] That
fate is reserved for your [unwanted/incapable/undesired/incongruent, I forget
the actual words]"
well, voice in my head that suffused me with magic and warmth and whisked me
away in a dream to a bubble-reality where my actions are meant to reflect me,
surely your appraisal is just? I worked with my partner, I was swallowed
neither by lust, nor greed, nor hunger, [greed in this case being fulfillment]
and yet I awoke when I went to my sister rather than a doctor. Dreams are hard
to unravel, but I think it was more for your benefit than mine, wouldn't you
say?
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--- #68 fediverse/5860 ---
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Hey, life is better on my side. If you wanna renounce your beliefs, please do,
and tell me how and why you changed your mind.
tell me it was wrong. tell me how.
confess.
confess
confess to me.
I will listen and I will hear you and I will be the mercy for you.
confess and I will forgive.
show me how you are wrong.
give grace to those who are wronged.
take as much time as you need, but, there's only so much time.
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--- #69 messages/1105 ---
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claude-code is like programming, but for executives.
when everyone has FUCK I'M TOO HUNGRY I can't think right
when everyone has the power of an executive, that's communism.
something something futurism is when everyone is elevated without diminishing
others
gah I need to live in a palace or something where everyone does the normal
stuff and I can focus on magic and the gods
I wondeer how much the oracles at delphi did for themselves? weren't they
blinded at a young age, to better hear the voices of the gods? ... oh that
suddenly makes sense now. I always thought that pretender chassis in Dominions
5 was pretty cruel, but, now I know *how* it works and yeah. ancient peoples
were smart. but also sharp. they had to work with what they got, and we got
computers now, so.
I am nothing but hopeful for the future! I'm convinced that everything's going
to be alright. I've thought about it at length, and I think we're winning
against the dark. We're on the right track, and there aren't many things that
could go wrong at this stage.
... okay there are always things that could go wrong. But I don't see what I
could do to help. Maybe I should go walk around a bit, and see what's changed
in the past few months, as I've been sleeping in my room for most of it.
Haven't gone on a proper walk since summer. It's winter now...
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--- #70 fediverse/800 ---
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║ ┌───────────────────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: re: scary - suicide mentioned │ │
║ └───────────────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ where was I? oh yes - wrestling with suicidal thoughts is difficult because │
║ it's such an immutable action. Like, once it's done it's never reversed. But │
║ like, clearly this is hell and life was built for suffering? What the heck, │
║ that's such a grim outlook on life. │
║ │
║ ... │
║ │
║ yeah │
║ │
║ ... │
║ │
║ you're not wrong │
║ │
║ ... │
║ │
║ but suffering is fun? kinda? like, the only positive way to view this is that │
║ we, as immortal and endlessly eternal spirits that we be, grew tired of our │
║ infinite existence and dreamed of a mortal's plight and persistence? │
║ │
║ fuck off with that shit, I'm done with this reality. I'm done with dreaming. │
║ Suicide doesn't come easy to me, and there are parts of me that REFUSE the │
║ imagery, and yet they subsist in deliterious pain. │
║ │
║ what's the purpose of our suffering? What point is there in decrying the │
║ cruelty of the world that would deny our fated and desired ptolemeny? [utopian │
║ existence, don't know why that word was used] │
║ │
║ ehhhhh whatever. Life is defined by our existence. If I shan't/ │
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--- #71 fediverse/4528 ---
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│ CW: re: uspol │
└──────────────────────┘
@user-1695
never accept your own death
fight for every second of life, something something do not go quietly into
that grim dark
what the fuck are you supposed to do? Reading what you said got me pretty
fucking pissed - keep talking for a start, it helps, people need to be pissed.
I'm also broke as shit, don't know how I'm going to pay rent and eat, but
it'll get done.
Where do you live? Can other people help you? Medications are an
organizational problem, not an insurmountable barrier. We'll make it work.
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--- #72 fediverse/961 ---
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║ hmmmm let's see, what shall I do today? │
║ │
║ first I should get out of bed, │
║ │
║ then I should clean my self, │
║ │
║ then I should feed my self, │
║ │
║ then I should stare at the wall for an hour or three because there's too many │
║ thoughts, │
║ │
║ then perhaps I'll play a strategic video game because at least that's a │
║ productive way to exercise my brain │
║ │
║ I should probably get back to my friends, │
║ │
║ and oh dear my cat wants some attention. │
║ │
║ This place is a mess, let me just clean a bit │
║ │
║ now I'm so tired I accidentally take a nap. │
║ │
║ Good morning! Oh, it's the afternoon. Well, time for more food. │
║ │
║ After handling the essentials, I can tuck in and relax │
║ │
║ by doomscrolling on Mastodon. │
║ │
║ Then perhaps a bit later I'll message my boyfriend (he won't respond) │
║ │
║ and boy are there so many of these dirty dishes! │
║ │
║ Well, standing up is exhausting, │
║ │
║ so I should probably fall back asleep. │
║ │
║ What a productive day we've been having, │
║ │
║ for all of this past week. │
║ │
║ Maybe I'll do some drawing, maybe a poem or two │
║ │
║ maybe I'll run out of characters in this toot, or m │
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--- #73 fediverse/834 ---
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║ wonder if any autistic peeps can relate: │
║ │
║ growing up, my mom would chastise me for doing "the bare minimum" when │
║ completing tasks. │
║ │
║ yes, mom, I fulfilled the requirements of the task. I have a lot of other │
║ things to attend to, like remembering how to tie my shoes and measuring things │
║ using a ruler. why would I waste effort that wasn't necessary? │
║ │
║ when I grew up, I had a mentor, who told me to "never half ass things, because │
║ then someone like me will have to do it again." │
║ │
║ and that makes sense to me because context switching requires effort and it │
║ doesn't make sense to leave something half-finished because then there's │
║ wasted effort spent on things that don't matter. All of the tasks have to get │
║ done, so why bother doing them in a mixed up order? │
║ │
║ wish I could study things in school like that. just... focusing on one thing │
║ at a time, learning it to completion, and moving on to the next. I feel like │
║ I'd develop a better understanding than only knowing like, 1/3rd of CPR or │
║ very vague understandings of plate tec │
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--- #74 notes/elective-democracy-electors ---
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we need like, several more layers between us and the president.
most people only need to worry about what's nearby.
sort them by location, instead of previous attempts at "many representatives"
which sorted by social class or relevance.
we have a tradition for it, in America, with our representatives and senators
congressional discrestricts
or even, what about by affiliation?
voluntary, governmental corporations, run by the people for the people and yeah
"I don't want to do what you're telling me to do" "okay"
"there will be consequences" omg be an adult
(suddenly kids forget how to be as everyone's doing the war thing)
not ideal.
ouch pain maybe we should stay a little bit sane why is soldiering so hardship?
it could just be... another job
where you didn't kill each other
but you still blew stuff up
and fought in tournaments
and had gaming hackathons
or sword-fight contests
duels between people who disapproved
y'know fun human stuff
like... "kaboom" now we know how to blow up bits of rock
neat, why did dynamite becauswer (oh right then you
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--- #75 notes/trans-rights-are-human-rights ---
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"Being transgender is a mental illness" is something I've heard a lot. Online,
in media, books, and at universities. But is it really? Well, do I not feel
sick? Genuinely, every day. These words are far less common these days, having
been defeated in the #marketplace-of-ideas, and for that I am grateful. I don't
want to feel sick for my whole life. I'd love to be and feel normal, for just
one single day.
but it's never going to happen.
I'm not so attached to my life, here, in this body. Bodies are temporary, they
are the vessel with which we navigate the world. We use it to grow, change,
learn, and create art. Without it, we'd be at a loss for sins and virtues.
but they do not define us, not in our totality. We are the light that touches
the world and for that, we are grateful. To be comprised of the dust of stars
is the pinnacle of confinement. Though we are but pinpricks on the map of us,
a ripple is emanated with every movement. The hand waves, the light bends.
So to what do I owe the pleasure?
In what way am I deceived?
Reception is never great out in the forest. Or anywhere far from major
population centers. The networks of our phones mirror the networks of
transportation, creating a web of people - of signals - of light and
information, carving their way through the ephemera that is the river of time.
With distance we can see what once was mystery, and as all the words
disappeared, we lost all our fears and we're left with our true forms.
Centralized Processing Units are a bit like a city - in that respect free.
silence is a virtue.
the wandering mind is a trail to find,
with no second chances.
When I was a kid, I had a bouncy ball. I had several, but the one I remember
most was black with a perfect white circle - inside the circle, a black jolly
roger. I dreamt once of the arcs it made, as I walked down the streets of
cities I never really knew. But as I walked on, an ocean of glass separating me
from a mirror below. The me below would catch the bounce as it dropped from
above, and I'd wait to catch it - but dreams are not prophecies, they are but
the Mirror of Desire.
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--- #76 fediverse/4771 ---
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│ CW: politics-mentioned-food-m │
└───────────────────────────────┘
@user-1352
makes me think that I should keep going. I can handle myself, and I shouldn't
pressure myself so much to be something I'm not.
then the rent comes due and the dishes need to be done too and the cat's
asking for attention and the post-office needs this letter by tuesday and hey
do you happen to know a cool attorney plus the groceries are getting low but I
got snap hey can you go to the store and get some vegetarian soul food - yeah
I got rice, I'll throw some lentils on the stove. Uh-huh yeah the password is
hunter2. Oh really, just asterisks? okay well it's hunt her two except instead
of "her" it's ee are, and the two is the digit two. yep, like someone in camo
with a rifle. uhhuh alright good to know well anyway I'll see you at the
thing, right? some thing, I'm sure, everyone's going to things these days.
If you don't trust implicitely then how can you ever work with strangers? how
the heck are you supposed to build community if everyone's hiding indoors all
the time.
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--- #77 fediverse/5407 ---
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║ man, I had a kernel of an idea for how to make a warp drive this morning right │
║ after I woke up but my gosh darn girlfriend's leg was on top of me and it was │
║ sooooo cute and I didn't want to move so I tried repeating it in my head over │
║ and over for like, half an hour, and I ended up forgetting about 1/4th of it. │
║ Here's hoping 3/4ths is nice. │
║ │
║ it really was just about the underlying physics of the thing, which might be │
║ nothing because I'm not a physicist. But I had been watching ANDOR SEASON 2 │
║ all night so maybe that had something to do with why I was thinking of warp │
║ drives. │
║ │
║ eventually, my cat came in and sat on my chest and flicked her tail at the │
║ geef's face until she rolled over in absolute disgust (still asleep tho) and I │
║ was able to make my mistake. │
║ │
║ ... I mean, escape. haha that's a weird typo. │
║ │
║ anyway, the idea which I'm about to write down now for the first time which is │
║ stored only in my brain's memory RAM is essentially this: consider if there │
║ was a │
║ │
║ ----------------- stack overflow ---------------- │
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--- #78 fediverse/4521 ---
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I have between one and ten hundred visits to my website every day, but I don't
really post it anywhere new anymore. I also have zero followers on Neocities.
On Mastodon, I have ~70 followers, most of whom are inactive. Seventy is a
good amount, a normal amount, a reasonable amount, an unsuspicious amount, and
yet every time I see someone wearing the colors I can't help but wonder if
they know me.
I'm too busy being furious to be lonely. I used to be, before I realized how
important I am. How important? Just as much as you are, I know it.
I'm a sprinter. I didn't spec into endurance at character creation. Nobody
chastises the mage for skipping leg day.
I act in fits and bursts. I am sharp like a scalpel, but needles dull just a
bit when piercing the lid of the HRT. Good thing I'm not made out of metal, I
can bend myself back into place, so long as everyone else can keep pace.
I don't know who needs to hear this, but you do. you are crucial. Listen to
this. Care for yourself and for others, do it for u
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--- #79 fediverse/4073 ---
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post until you can't anymore
capitalism wants to drown your voice
do not let it
speak until you cannot speak
then go do some pushups
then find some friends
then pitch a tent in the park
then explain to the cops that you're not actually homeless and living there
you're just trying to do this as a social statement because someone on the
internet told you to
then use your phone call to call your representative and complain about how
much funding the police get
then study law for 30 years because that's how long the government decided
your life was worth
by then you'll probably have figured out a better plan moving forward, so, use
that one instead
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--- #80 fediverse/6449 ---
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currently have 20-30 tabs open with poems written but not posted.
I have no idea if I'm going to post all of these. I wrote all of them in ~2
hours, with maybe 3 or four being added as I was working on the production
elements after the initial bingewrite.
I also added a bit of context, or modified some of them that felt too cursed
or otherwise unwieldy. Sometimes I got distracted and needed to come back and
finish, and in those cases I only added a sentence or two because it's like
"oh, where was I going with that? I remember what was next, but I don't know
the further..."
... I think I might go for another. Wish me luck.
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--- #81 fediverse/3879 ---
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@user-1614
yeah haha that's what happens when you spin too fast. Sorry for being loud, at
least I tried my hardest. Too bad I fell on my own, too bad there wasn't
anyone to catch me. That's my fault, it's solely my own, but whose fault is
the mistake of the collective? Oy I'll fall on my ass as many times as it
takes. I'm used to it.
Plus, it wouldn't have worked, and what else am I supposed to do but speak of
the moment? I feel different now.
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--- #82 fediverse/71 ---
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Oh it's compressed on tumblr too. And Reddit can delete my account at any
time, just saying. I don't trust Facebook to fare any better...
I tried to put it on my neocities website so I could just put a link here.
Nevermind the fact that most people see a link they don't recognize and
completely glaze over it. Guess what? Compressed there too. The file is fine
on my PC, so how about I give a download link? Well, where should I host it?
Dropbox or Mega I guess, but they locked my account for inactivity. I don't
really like having other people in control of my data either. Maybe I can host
it on my website, like a file server? Well, the browser intercepts the file
somehow and I can't get it to automatically download to the viewer's computer.
Maybe I'm just completely average and representative of the base population
but I just can't figure this darn thing out. Alas, if only it was the modern
era where things make sense and not the ancient days of 2023.
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--- #83 fediverse/3155 ---
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┌───────────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: cursing-mentioned │
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@user-1461
my issue is that I've never really had project-mates. Every time I try nobody
will work with me. I applied to like, fifty different jobs, and nobody
interviewed me! Sheesh, guess they don't want me. FIFTY JOBS. Entry level.
Beginner programmer.
ah well. I guess they confused someone who would work for 40,000$ per year
with someone who was 1/3rd as useful as someone who deserved 120,000$ per year.
I'd love to get experience. I'm sure I'd feel significantly differently with
as much. Perhaps I'd even decide that programming professionally isn't for me,
which would feel... quite defeating
who can say. Not I, for I have not experienced it. Though I will say my time
in hardware taught me that I'm fragile and can't work too much. Like a scalpel
that dulls when used consistently, I am a scalpel that gets no practice... Is
that really useful at all? who can say. Not I, for I have not experienced it.
Though I do like writing logical machines. Laying out data. Picturing
structures.
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--- #84 notes/water-to-wine ---
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"is this a water party, or a wine party?"
"depends on if jesus is going..."
"okay I'm in, that guys so cool"
"yeah totally like any party with him just... feels like a great time"
"what a swell guy"
"really turns the "water to wine" y'know what I mean"
"yeah totes like what a guy"
"absolute unit"
"that guy can just do anything right"
"like whoa, he's so strong he could pick up a barn"
"yeah and like so handy and skillful, what a neat guy"
"oh and I heard he's really good with kids and animals, that sounds neat"
"yeah sounds like someone I'd surely like to meet"
"we should hang out with this guy more often"
"he seems pretty chill"
"well. not really. He's pretty expressive. Not very low key."
"true I'm just so burnt out from capitalism that-"
"-yeah dude I know."
"... fuck what are we gonna do about it"
"I dunno man, just... go along with it I guess"
"okay so uhhhh idk what that means"
"just be cool and play along"
"... what"
"..."
...
.
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--- #85 notes/i-am-a-stalk ---
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I am a stalk, a small little plant
A plant with no leaves, just hair.
Time is different to a plant such as me,
We hardly wake up, we're just happy to be
But life has no less purpose, it's no less grand
To those who would feed on me, in one single band
Stalling and talking and as we're falling down,
you have the power to not swallow our abounds.
Gnashing and gnawing on hand and on foot,
It hurts no less than eternal binding.
But what is time to one so little as you?
Your breaths are so short, your timings subdued.
Keep falling and shouting, and calling my name,
and I'll come a running just to swallow your shame.
Keep fear on a leash, most tidy and well kept,
That none may abhor you and you're soon to be
A leader a prophet a warrior most fair,
One to be aspired to and viewed with care.
Young you may be, and youth you may cherish,
but don't run away, stand as a parish.
A villain to be, a curse is most foul
For sirens to me, a terrible howl
Keep not naught afraid,
with kittens and care,
And no one
but no one
I
be
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--- #86 notes/contractual-labor ---
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I feel like the IT people who work at schools should be the ones who teach
classes on computer science. I'd much rather have a class taught by a sysadmin
than a teacher who can barely teach them excel and garageband. I mean c'mon
computers are the future idk why we don't get that yet. Kids need to know this
stuff. It's not like it's super complicated and difficult, you just have to
think about it a certain way. Once that "clicks" you have a lifetime to learn
about how wonderful they are. Everyone in IT has that moment, for me it was
installing (and then subsequently modding) video games. Sometimes I spent more
time tweaking my system than I did actually playing games - and the kinds of
games I preferred were the ones that relied less on agility and were more
mental. Strategy games are what inspired me because I could think about them -
and that felt somehow more useful. Like I was learning. When I would learn
fighting games or FPSs I felt like I was learning a skill, like how to use a
hammer or how to ride a bike. And idk, I felt like video games could never
match
reality. Like "oh boy imma push the B button to swing this sword" versus "hey
look at me I'm swinging this stick just like a sword and imagining so hard that
I can picture it" - but with strategy games, you never really found
opportunities to practice that kind of skill. Like how often are you in a
situation that demands mental performance? We've sorta optimized our society
away from that, and toward a more passive stressed out compliance. like...
climate change is a thing, and nobody's doing anything about it? We're still
pushing down the levers that cause greenhouse gas emissions to go up? Like
c'mon
what's our plan. I think people who guide massive oil companies and such
should
be replaced if they're intentionally guiding the ship toward destruction. Like
that's just dereliction of duty I tell ya. Oh, what's that? They're compelled
to
maximize profit by the contracts and restrictions of their share--holders? I
mean c'mon it's well past time for that. And what's all this about inequality?
Jeez and racism and homophobia and forced contribution - man people really put
up with a lot of shit. Kinda makes me feel like we should make solving those
problems our highest priority? So we can move forward as a species? Like who
cares about all that other shit. None of it matters. Like, what's even the
point. We're all just "here", in the now, and what can we do but respect it?
It's our duty and our diligence to protect the present, as citizens of the
temporal experience of earth. Honestly, if the earth was alive would you be
fine
if it died? I can't believe that. It's well past our due date. Just get it over
with. Maybe it'll be hard for a couple years, but you have the technology now
to
completely dominate the earth. No animal besides man proves any threat to man,
and we're telling you - you can - and that's something that you gotta remember.
...
I hear it in the birdsong. I hear it in the air - it rumbles as cries at me
from
across and just over there. I hear in it's whispers, in it's most gallant of
confells (?) (confused scrambling? it's talking about a car crash)
Outside of my window there's a highway. Just on the other side of a concrete
partition. Between me and the partition there is a lake, with trees and flowers
and an island where people can picnic or have a barbeque. Around this path
there
are walkways, and arranged just so - the trees that have grown here are taller
than the homes.
I live on the third story.
I absolutely love it. It feels like a treehouse.
But my apartment is near a curve in the highway. It isn't much, nothing out of
the ordinary, but even still there are slightly more crashes there than in
other
parts of the highway. Statistically.
I hear sirens every day
I also live right next to a fire-station. Well, it's on the same block. But
even
still it's a very interesting neighborhood. There's shops and food just across
the highway, and closer to home there's a small section that has cheaper
options. As a perpetual college student, I appreciate that.
But... I've never really gone and used it? I dunno, spending money at a
restaurant just didn't seem like a good use of my money. I only have so much of
it you know. I'd love to be fed but I can't afford it - I wish I could.
I still eat well, I mean I'm not starving over here. I know I've lost weight,
but I dunno I just forget to eat. It's like... not that big of a deal for me.
whatever right?
...
the birds talk about me behind my back. They think I can't understand them but
sometimes I can. If I listen. But I dunno it takes a lot of effort. It's...
sorta like understanding what R2-D2 is saying. Or interpreting the meows of a
cat.
They know me as the witch. I'm not very good yet, and they know that. But they
know what to expect. /shrug
I've been working on a video game recently. It's been a lot of fun doing
programming. I like writing software and developing complex systems with
interesting interactions. I love designing the machinery that creates a
program.
It's like... tinkering. It feels like building with blocks or legos, except
it's
for little machine parts. And then there's just sending data to and fro and
modifying any operations it performs on it, and eventually that data reaches
some endpoints that create an effect that is displayed to the player. Or user.
I should say user. Not all software is video games you know. ... I knowww but
they're the most interesting! I love how they are designed around mechanics!
like... game design is fundamentally about breaking down the world into ideas
for how it should *work*, like how it should behave. It's amazing and I love
it!
It's all I can think about!
I am utterly consumed!
I'm also pretty sure I'm autistic.
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--- #87 fediverse/4665 ---
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┌───────────────────────┐
│ CW: cursing-mentioned │
└───────────────────────┘
literally all it takes to activate me is for someone who's more radical than
me to point me out and say "hey. you. you need to do more." and then I fuckin'
go, like a beyblade (emphasis on blade) nicking the shins of allies and...
probably foes, right? there's foes around here, right? I'm not just nicking my
allies, right?
... right?
anyway every top winds down and then I collapse and wail for a bit because I'm
just like that I guess. Don't mind me, just self-immolating my way through
history, let's see how it goes...
you're supposed to be inspiring, but you just sound like you're whining
ah. right. well... lemme catch up on sleep debt and I'll get back to
valorizing.
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--- #88 fediverse/3117 ---
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┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: cursed-uspol │
└──────────────────────┘
hey. wanna know what would be really cursed?
--
if trump dropped out and musk took his place
--
good thing it'll never happen because those dinguses can't accept defeat and
will never tactically retreat
--
maybe something to keep in mind for 4 years from now. eyes on the prize for
now means our eyes aren't to our flanks.
what else could they do that would come out of left field?
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--- #89 fediverse/5995 ---
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a couple months after the fourth or fifth time I did weed, I broke up with the
cutest girl I knew. She's still pretty cute.
might be correlation, but I feel like my fate decided I should roam.
all over the dang place.
I lived in Philadelphia for a year, just in-time to see the Black Live Matter
protests and nothing else, well, nothing except some fatherhood ghosts. Don't
worry they're still where.
Now I live in Portland, just in-time for like 3 years of paranoia and suddenly
a witch showing everyone that you don't have to worry about being pwned
I like sailing! I wonder where the future goes next? Maybe I'll go to the
mountains. Maybe I'll live with a scientist. Maybe I'll write an award winning
computer program [see image for more]
I wish I had more compute... my hard drive are too full for more videos, guess
that means my youtube channel's been banned
well, good thing there's like 800 copies of my work on a dataserver farm
somewhere, each time I analyze a poem it sends the page there. very repeated
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--- #90 fediverse/5280 ---
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║ I'm an anarcho monarchist, which is something I just made up. │
║ │
║ if I gather 300 people to my cause, why shouldn't they call me queen? │
║ │
║ oh, are you concerned that I'll wrest power from the government? ha, what a │
║ trifling notion. I don't care about the government. I tried to care, but │
║ nobody liked my ideas. they required too much computing infrastructure to │
║ feasibly test, and that made people dubious. but I tell ya, it would have │
║ worked. The thing is... governance, economics, these are not the tools of │
║ power. they are a shifting and changing beast that mirrors the human instinct, │
║ if only because the government is of the people and by the people and for the │
║ people etcetera. │
║ │
║ power is it's own thing. you can use to to power devices, or power the usage │
║ of those devices. I, for example, really like World of Warcraft which's a │
║ really neat way to chat because none of the chat logs are stored and monitored │
║ because I'm hosting and I'm not storing and monitoring. │
║ │
║ what's that? official servers? I dunno, I use azerothcore │
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--- #91 fediverse/3969 ---
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there are very few professions that are naturally more suited to a
schizophrenic than a normal person.
One of them is beggar, another is prophet, and a third is "massive
disappointment" but that comes with the territory.
have you considered that maybe you're just a loser
yes I have and I decided that all I can do is my best, and if my best loses
then what else could I have done? Wait for help? Yeah. I do that too.
It feels like an encirclement, and all you can do is hunker down and wait to
be relieved. Or fight to the last, it's up to you. I hear they brutalize the
skulls of their prisoners after executing them, so, I don't know about you but
I'm not surrendering. Not gonna roll those dice.
you are in fantasy, again
sorry. Should stay here, present, in the moment. Like when I sat out on the
park bench for like 30 minutes straight without moving a muscle last night. Or
when I sat and contemplated the nature of a bog for two hours last september.
Or when I woke from a dream that turned out to be life.
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--- #92 fediverse/4179 ---
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okay, so, you could spend the next couple hours scrolling social media
or you could go for a walk in the rain
... is it raining where you're at? I forget. Ah well whatever. You could go
for a walk, whether or not it's in the rain, which surely would be a better
use of your time. What are you gonna find on social media that you'll remember
in a week? Hell, what will you remember tomorrow?
my mother used to tell me that "television rots your brain" and, yeah, social
media counts for that too. Thanks mom. I miss you.
... I could just call you, but it's the middle of the night for you. And
probably for me, I guess, WINK
in any case there's little to do today that can't wait for tomorrow. So why
not go on a walk? Even if nothing happens, especially if nothing happens,
it'll be good for you.
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--- #93 fediverse/4835 ---
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sorry for posting so much, I was trying to put on a show for my girlfriend
"hey check out how many posts I can make in a 2 hour timeframe"
by the way if you want to start talking to someone, just start playing the
same game they're playing and see if they reach out.
doesn't matter if you feel like it
just fuckin' do it
if they want to talk to you they might play a game you really like
(but I get boooooored of games, I don't wanna play the same 200 all life
long!!)
ugh okay fine you can have as many games as you want, just... don't buy too
many
(how many is too many?)
um. use your best judgement.
(how much does a dollar cost?)
... okay I'll get you one every once in a while.
(neat!)
... anyway so yeah use steam if you wanna get in contact with someone,
sometimes it's just nice to say hi, yeah, like "hey how ya doin' okay ttyl"
just catchin' up with the gals
helps because you can sense changes in their demeanor
(why does everyone always have an agenda)
because they're secret agents duh. And I'm
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--- #94 fediverse/2211 ---
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║ I know that a normal life is what you wanted. It's what I want, too. But don't │
║ shoot the messenger; they took it once, from you. │
║ │
║ I know you wanted to be happy. You still can be, it's true! Your life is but a │
║ story, and your heart does shine through. │
║ │
║ I know it seems unending. Ive never seen it rain like this monsoon! It seems │
║ to just get worse and worse, every time you turn on the tube. │
║ │
║ It's not something that can be suffered, it's rising past your shoes. But │
║ they're on borrowed time, and Death will soon be repaid his dues. │
║ │
║ They say that when the whole village hates the preacher, his flock becomes a │
║ pack. And frankly I think we're all just a bit sick, of the lies that keep │
║ their sins intact. │
║ │
║ When swallowed by endless traumas, and hope is enshrouded in gloom, there's │
║ not much to work for, except the aversion of our shared doom. │
║ │
║ There are no grand narratives, no great and calamitous struggle. Just the │
║ moments of honored resistance, against a foe too broad to wrestle. │
║ │
║ At least, if you're alone. You're not. │
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--- #95 fediverse/3302 ---
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"this game is too hard" she whined, as she played on the hardest difficulty
setting
"this game is too long" she pleaded, as she failed to get absorbed by the
story and characters
"this game is too fast" she avoided, as life comes at ya once and then it's
gone
"I'll never get another chance to be who I am right now" she remarked, as she
considered how society is designed not to have the best life, but to extract
labor from us. That's not what our ideal should be, she thinks to me, and I'm
like... bro figure your shit out you're harshing my mellow
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│ CW: personal-vent-sorry │
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"your feelings are valid, but have you considered that your feelings aren't
actually valid because you're always wrong and nobody should ever apologize to
you for anything because you suck and are wrong?"
also,
"my six digit salary isn't enough to pay for your rice and beans, but I won't
have you eating sticks and mud, so do things you don't want to do because I
said so."
also,
"I don't really "get" your art but that doesn't mean I should ever really try
reading it. Also god forbid I actually ask for clarification like "what does
that part mean" because I'm not actually that interested in you I just want a
stable household so I never get traumatized again like [their childhood]"
also,
"yes I love you but no I don't want to play with you. you're such a cat."
also,
"every time you start making sense I'm going to try and derail the
conversation so that we don't talk about kooky-dookerie because that's a
conversation I can't win"
also,
sorry for venting. I mean, thanks for listeni
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--- #97 fediverse/6085 ---
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║ "I just love their culture" girl it's a barbeque "I figure they'd want a place │
║ of their own, right?" why don't you ask them "well, they didn't want to move, │
║ and something something manifest destiny, voila now they get all the │
║ non-sacred sites while we get the magic gem generation spots" girl now you're │
║ just talking about video games "haha yeah I wanted to change the subject so we │
║ didn't talk about how I'm culturally appropriating fireworks or whatever they │
║ likme to do in their churches and suburbs or whatever" │
║ │
║ [yes, I know they like me. I like them too. I also like liberals, even though │
║ IU demand a lot of them] meanwhile the witch is a doom profit so watch out │
║ haha I'm so broke "what if we were all friends" okay that's one idea "what if │
║ we all got to know each other" okay that's closer "what if we didn't hide from │
║ our variety and instead celebrated it" getting warmer "did you know there's no │
║ war but the class war" okay but class is made up, so war is fake just like │
║ dollars are paper and notes are just words. │
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--- #98 fediverse/5955 ---
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"she wanted to start a revolution"
"that's it, she's out of our hair"
"ahhhhhh I'm broken" there there it's okay dear, nothing has been harmed.
you're safe, here in thine sanctum, it's alright. remember at night, focus on
the now, there's always a rest point before a boss.
well, this sucks. I wish I could print my book just in-case my computer goes
down. emp style.
I have this neat transcript of some cool things I've ben writing down. it's on
my website and I canned it words. I don't think anyone's ever clicked on it
because, like, who'd want to look at a bunch of words? anyway I bet I could
print it and give it to someone who might know you and if you recognize it
then you know it's about you.
"whew that was weird never fear regular old girl is here, hey look at me I'm
normal"
oh no she's a book now, this sucks
"wow I've never read her from the beginning"
what a cursed artifact indeed
scary
carefully
absent-minding-deliverance is probably a better title
marshals and marshals of time. ~~
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--- #99 fediverse/510 ---
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@user-246
Thanks, it means a lot. Sometimes I am a little "distant" from reality (like
tonight, tbh) but I generally always am within sight. Meaning I can still
understand what people are saying. My uhhh.... "plan" is to always be vigilant
and look for times when people cannot comprehend what I say - even the most
mundane of things - because if so then surely I am psychotic. At that point
I'll just kinda go along with whatever anyone says, even if it feels like I'm
a cow in a factory farm or whatever my mind might contrive to torture me with.
Thanks for reaching out. Sorry you've lost people. I hope they aren't gone
forever. I hope I don't go forever. We'll see, I guess.
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--- #100 fediverse/4738 ---
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║ ┌─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: revolutionary-politics-mentioned-swearing-mentioned │ │
║ └─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ you said you wanted a revolution, and, well, I could not be more proud of you. │
║ It's actually getting done and if I stop and think about it I'm kind of │
║ amazed. Never thought I'd see this kind of change so quickly. │
║ │
║ "what change? I see nothing substantially different" │
║ │
║ oh yeah well do you go outside often │
║ │
║ do you hang out in the park │
║ │
║ I know it's fuckin' january and it's cold as heck (ah nuts swearing mentioned │
║ one sec) but homeless people have to LIVE in that weather so like... wear │
║ layers, spend time outside, detox from dopamine, write poetry and tear it out │
║ and leave it on a park bench, be loud, claim the space, it's yours, that's │
║ what it's there for. │
║ │
║ I see it in your eyes. I see it in the random notes I find on the sidewalk. │
║ Everyone says "make friends, find community" and I say "commune with a │
║ stranger" but I'm also a witch and that's a pretty witchy thing to do. │
║ │
║ ... Really fuckin' wish we still had payphones (ah nuts swearing mentioned - │
║ oh already CWd) │
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--- #101 fediverse/5486 ---
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│ CW: cursing-mentioned │
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"ew but they're dirty"
oh yeah true
okay new plan how much do you think it'll cost to buy a hotel
[this is why the socialists invented buy-in]
"I don't think socialists did that??"
buy in, hmmmm, what's that? oh yeah it's when you say "hey what if we X'd" and
they said "yes I agree with you because you present a reasonable estimate on
reality"
{uh hi I just got a message from "some-nowhere" here ya go: "oh my god she's
fuckig instane}
[ugh cursing-mentioned, that means there's fewer characters to transmote.]
[no because then I'd run out of steam and it'd be incomplete. Plus sometimes I
like the distraction of a reasonable limitation.]
(okay, but are YOU worth it?)
leave her alone she's working her charms, this is how witches d-do.
"so, isn't the point to give yourselves the coverage of a location
transmutation? so, wouldn't you want to find someone alike and share their
life?"
what is even the point, why even bother, just give them
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--- #102 fediverse/460 ---
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I realized I don't give a fuck about capitalism. If you want to deprive me of
food, shelter, or anything else... Fine. I exist at your behest. Would your
really deny me from speaking the words that you disagree with?
Oh, you would? Okay. Guess I'll starve. I don't mind, I just hope you'll take
care of the people I have taken as my responsibility in my absence.
Oh, you won't? You say that you'll destroy what I care about, in the pursuit
of ever-growing power over others, which you will use to extract value and
impress your desire of destruction and oppression onto the weak and powerless
that you control?
Then you are my enemy.
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--- #103 notes/the-old-internet ---
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11 21
you know what i miss the most about the old internet?
the feeling you get when you wonder "i wonder what ______ is up to?" and you go
to their website and find out. there's a feeling that's lost when everything is
delivered to you by algorithms. it because a compulsion, a slavery, when we
don't utilize our compassion. remembering a friend? never again. you've only
got what has been chosen. what if they post a lot? well, that means nothing -
you are only guaranteed who they want you to see, and whatever it means to be
beholden.
so what if it's free? of course time is money! and what is our most treasured
potential? if guided we can be, (as seen on tv), then what if we're only
ennuid? have you ever considered, you've meddling and persevered, against all
our suggestions and hopes? you're singing a tune, of that of a loon, so no-one
will ever give purchase.
heh, is that all? anime protagonist or saul? ... are you trying to categorize
me ? ? ? its okay if you are, i seriously don't mind. I just want it to be
something consensual. We're humans after all, like all of our all, and we don't
want to convey lost potential.
our time is now nigh, we're welcome to die, but our sunken cost is too great to
ignore. we are the progenitors of the human race, the foremost of our kind, and
onward we march to the future! and then there's you. who are you to claim to be
among us? who are you to say it must be so? you've nothing of my journey, my
trials and my tourneys, so what if i peaked when i was 12? a master of my fate,
complaining about her weight, it's not much to be my own savior. much rather
i'd rather to savour, that foremost of prayers, to harken upon my conveyals.
trust and you'll see, all is not yet to be, there's hope in the future of our
foremost
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--- #104 fediverse/3841 ---
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║ ┌────────────────────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: socialism-recycling-mentioned1 │ │
║ └────────────────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ "I think I'm going to quit my job at the recycling center. Everyone there is │
║ just a little too catty for me. I think they like the verbal sparring but it │
║ just gets a little tiresome after a while." │
║ │
║ oh, sorry to hear that. Well if you still want to help out there's plenty of │
║ work to do. I could set you up at another recycling center nearby too, if │
║ you'd like...? │
║ │
║ "well, I like the idea of universal recycling. It was a little annoying when │
║ people would put food waste in with the clothing donations, and this one time │
║ I found like 8 bags of cat litter inside of a washing machine. Spent like an │
║ hour vacuuming everything out, which... actually wasn't bad. Kinda felt a │
║ little cathartic to clean it so thoroughly." │
║ │
║ "on the other hand I would like to use my mind a bit more, my creative │
║ projects are kinda in a slump so I figure I could use my body at home and my │
║ mind at work. I've been meaning to build a desk out of some spare hardwood I │
║ snagged at work but I haven't gotten around to it." │
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--- #105 fediverse/2089 ---
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║ "ah nuts, the crows are back. Better give them some diced-up carrots so they │
║ shut up." │
║ │
║ BAD, this teaches them to "sing" for attention which is annoying af │
║ │
║ "Hmmm, this carrot looks kinda withered. I'm going to dice it up to throw to │
║ the birds because it's better than rotting in a dump" │
║ │
║ BETTER, because you're being sustainable and nourishing local wildlife, │
║ │
║ "That songbird is beautiful! And that squirrel is building a nest. I'm going │
║ to throw some of this pre-diced carrot that I keep in an air-tight container │
║ on my porch to them so they feel rewarded for doing things that I want" │
║ │
║ EVEN BETTER, but requires more effort and forethought │
║ │
║ [noooo didn't you read ranger rick as a kid you're not supposed to feed the │
║ wildlife because it'll teach them to trust humans in a world where humans can │
║ be total assholes to them and also we don't want them hanging out in cities │
║ because they might get run over or whatever] │
║ │
║ listen, they're gonna live where they can find food. And if they can't find it │
║ in the woods, they'll liv │
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--- #106 fediverse/4744 ---
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│ CW: cat-mentioned │
└──────────────────────┘
me to my cat: "don't eat so much that you puke, okay?"
me to me: "yeah I can take on another task, I'm almost done with this one and
then I'll just do that one and maybe this one'll get back to me at the same
time as this one which conflicts with this other thing so maybe I'll just
puke, okay?"
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--- #107 fediverse/1083 ---
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it doesn't really matter how you do it, but the more time you spend thinking
collectively the better you'll be able to adapt when necessary.
I grew up on a homestead in a small town without many friends. I was
homeschooled, and while I might see another person I knew once or twice a
month, that was about it.
Besides my family, of course.
We were a collective, and ever since leaving I have yearned for that feeling
of closeness.
There's something about modern society that pushes us apart, and I resent it.
Humans were meant for tribes, not multilevel marketing.
That being said, culture is pretty neat. Society is pretty neat, when it's not
being oppressive. I like the idea that I can buy carrots at the store instead
of growing my own. I like the idea that I can post on Craigslist asking if
anyone has a shovel they want to get rid of and someone can say "what the fuck
are you trying to bury someone why would you do that" and I'm all like "wait
no this post has gone off track can we refocus for a bit" and th
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--- #108 fediverse/4672 ---
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┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: politics! │
└──────────────────────┘
I miss video games
cries from self-inflicted sacrifices
but you're worth it
imma overthrow fascism, dismantle oppression and power, and liberate those in
chains, just so I can play games again
yeah I mean, uh, whatever gets you outta bed
"at least you have a bed. why are you complaining?"
maybe it's the only thing I'm good at. I wonder if anyone would hire me to be
an analyst or something? Maybe a designer?
bro you're asking for a job on the eve of the revolution, what's your deal
okay so this might be news to ya'll but I'm technically a human even though I
wear a witch hat and sometimes speak in rhyme. And humans tend to think about
things in the context of their current environment. Currently, if I want to
pay rent or whatever, I need a job. So...
sounds like a lame excuse for not giving up your possessions and throwing
yourself to fate's design
I already did that and fate told me to go home and take a bath?? idk what you
want from me, and no I'm not doing any drugs to find out.
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--- #109 fediverse/2165 ---
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@user-570
hell yeah.
I never did any drugs at one.
I might have even been designated driver, though I might be confusing my
memories with attending gay bars in college.
Well, gay bar. There was really only one in my town.
And it was a nightclub I guess, open every night of the week.
The people that I was with NEEDED that experience, so I was like "yeah sure
I'm older and more experienced, I'll drive you and keep you safe and hang out
with you if you drink too much because being a kid that tends to happen
sometimes and don't worry I'll watch over you and protect you and make sure
that you are alright until it's out of your system so you don't make bad
decisions that have long-term negative conclusions
... you know, that kind of thing.
now I'm kind of a stoner though lol because it helps me get into my flow.
maybe I should practice "getting into my flow" so I don't need it, but ah well
we'll see how that goes.
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--- #110 fediverse/5208 ---
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│ CW: capitalism-suicide-mentioned │
└──────────────────────────────────┘
Look, when I promised "Revolution or Death" I got pretty busy and kinda forgot
to do the "dying" part, and by now it'd be a little awkward if I offed myself
for no visible reason, so... How about we try again this summer? Maybe in a
month or two? I'll try to keep the fire burning a bit longer this time.
plus I'm better at playing the piano now so maybe that'll help somehow.
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--- #111 fediverse/1755 ---
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today is a magical day. I can feel it in my fate.
Always remember, having fun is important too! Don't forget to be yourself, and
keep it together man. If you see a door, you should open it - what's on the
other side? Love for animals and kindness of the spirit are impossible to
fake, they always know if you're lying. Not the animals, they can be dumb
sometimes, but the other thing.
And now for the downsides.
If you find a cursed artifact, please don't throw it in the river. It might
ask you to, but please don't. Much better to destroy it by melting it down (if
it's metal, which is common as metal lasts long enough to become forgotten) or
convince it that it's a recently deceased person being buried (helps if you
know the creator).
If none of that applies to you, don't worry. Eat something healthy, drink a
decent amount of water, and maybe exercise a bit.
Oh, and it can't hurt to ask.
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--- #112 fediverse/3961 ---
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┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: witcherie │
└──────────────────────┘
Well, I failed the mandate of heaven last year, and I failed the trial of the
hero this summer, what's next? I'll do my best at those as well, so the next
person has an easier time of it.
unrelated, but today I saw a bald eagle outside my apartment. Well, I'm not
sure if it was bald but it "KREEEEEE"'d like they do. Plus it had a white head
and a yellow beak, but I'm not an ornithologist so idk. It perched on a tree
that I could spy on from my hammock through my binoculars, and I swear it was
eye-ing my fat juicy cat through the bars of my porch's railing. They have
excellent vision.
Might be related, we'll see.
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--- #113 fediverse/6186 ---
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┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: cursed-maybe │
└──────────────────────┘
people are afraid of robo dogs but... like...
robo-horses
centaurs even
[scary scary ogre]
rarrraaar i'm gonna eat ur bones
bwahahaha evil necromancer
ahhhhhhh scary
-- stack overflow --
did you know in the movie They Live they give a fairly specific formula to
creating the glasses themselves? I wonder if anyone's tried that
I wonder what they then did see
kinda wish big corporations would use their research division to like, rethink
the oldest of prophecies? or okay hear me out or solve difficult human problems
... ah but where's the profit "she's getting stoned at home"
meanwhile she made something of such beauty she felt simply sublime
I wonder what it'd feel like to get your spine replaced with a metal rod
I bet my posture would be amazing
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--- #114 fediverse/6363 ---
╔══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────┐
║ somehow it feels so difficult to work on my projects. I really haven't a │
║ single clue why. │
║ │
║ HMMM COULD IT BE BECAUSE YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE OUTSIDE WALKING AROUND WRITING │
║ PICTURES OF CATS ON NOTEPAD PAPER AND LEAVING IT AMONGST THE FALLEN LEAVES? │
║ THINK, MENARDI, THINK │
║ │
║ gosh I wish I had the motivation to write this webcomic scraper, it's been in │
║ my backlog for a year at this point │
║ │
║ WHY DON'T YOU BUILD TOOLS THAT BUILD COMMUNITY LIKE COLLECTIVIZED VIDEO GAMES │
║ OR SYSTEMS OF DISTRIBUTION AND CREATION? │
║ │
║ gee I'm feeling kinda lazy, sure hope it doesn't get permanently added to my │
║ character sheet │
║ │
║ SLOTHFUL: -1 to all stats, -5 to vassal opinion, -5 to personal combat skill, │
║ -10 to ambitious and zealous characters, +10 to greedy characters because they │
║ can take advantage of you, enables the hesitant commander tactical choice │
║ because you're too FUCKIN' LAZY (and too hard on yourself, jeez calm down) │
║ │
║ ..... nah couldn't be me. I'm certainly not diligent, but I work hard. It's │
║ just hard to work myself up to getting up... │
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--- #115 fediverse/4099 ---
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┌──────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: cursing-mentioned-jobs-mentioned │
└──────────────────────────────────────┘
I don't think anyone should work at a job they hate, no matter what.
They will perform worse. They will harm themselves. They will shackle their
dreams to a false promise of persistence begot rewards. They will spiral into
depression, despair, depravity, and addiction.
If you hate your job, fucking QUIT. If you hate every job, fucking RIOT. If
nobody will hire you, SELL DRUGS.
[I'm not actually advocating breaking the law, please don't arrest me]
or like, move to the country and become a farm-hand for a retiring salmon
farmer who can't quite reach into the trees to pick the salmon fruit or dump
the bucket of vegetable scraps into the black soldier fly larva pit anymore.
That's always rewarding.
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--- #116 fediverse/5755 ---
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┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: organized-religion-mentioned-capitalism-mentioned │
└───────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
the reason I hide and sleep so much is because I can't tell if I'm helping or
hurting.
plus, I sincerely do NOT want it to be about me.
the reason I type so much is because I can't tell if what I'm saying needs to
be said
so I go with the safe option of typing. Let the editors figure it out. Jesus
had disciples, didn't he? I bet they cut out most of his sermons or whatever.
Idk, I never read the bible, I'm not allowed to taint my perspective with more
than cursory analysis of religious texts.
I don't want it to be about me, but, I have a lot to offer if you meet me on
my terms.
"don't say that!" listen... listen
"hear me" say the gods, "believe me" says the prophet, "be near me" says the
city parks, "fear me" says the corrupt
you can only kill a spirit when it's convinced there's no way to survive. It
must be boxed in, and the box must shrink. Like that scene at the end of
Adventure Time.
capitalism will only perish if it is impossible for it to exist
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--- #117 fediverse/4500 ---
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║ ┌─────────────────────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: cursing-mentioned-CW-motivation │ │
║ └─────────────────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ I try to always CW for cursing. Every time I do, I imagine it being read aloud │
║ for a blind person while their children sit on their lap and ask "daddy what's │
║ a motherfucker?" "well, that's me, son" and then the kid goes to preschool and │
║ says "My dad fucks my mother!" and they get kicked out so the dad has to take │
║ extra shifts to pay for babysitting and the kid grows up without proper │
║ socialization and the mother becomes an alcoholic and cries herself to sleep │
║ while the dad begins exploring motorcycles and weed and then the kid grows up │
║ to be an incel or whatever │
║ │
║ THIS is why CWs are important! Think of the poor regular-looking but kinda │
║ annoying dorks on the internet who self-impose celibacy because they're scared │
║ of emotional connection. The poor dears. I do hope they don't join the │
║ alt-right or whatever as a way of (Ritz this is like, ancient discourse why │
║ are you aping that one Contrapoints video) oh um yeah uh... CWs are important │
║ and I think that's where I'll toot and leave │
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--- #118 fediverse/4188 ---
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I think too fast. If given unlimited power, I'd literally think myself into
catastrophe because I need to explore all the possible alternatives. Including
the catastrophe ones. But by thinking something, you manifest it - because you
have unlimited power, right? EVERYTHING you do is powerful. There's no way to
control that! So it cannot be, for it has not been. And surely, surely, shall
not either. Surely, right?
... good news is you can undo it just as easily, all you have to do is forget
what you were doing and go back to your neutral state. Sure would be neat if
some kind of machination or parasite could hit your reset switch every couple
hours when you started to think too hard. Maybe like... a little octopus
living under your witch hat. Super chibi and cute - it'd like, tap on your
head to go one way or the other, and in conversations it'd pull your hair if
you were being a jerk. Stuff like that.
... what was I saying? Oh yes -> don't give anyone unlimited power like a
god-emperor or king, trust me
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--- #119 fediverse/3575 ---
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┌───────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: leftist "talk to ur neighbours" thing │
└───────────────────────────────────────────────┘
@user-1567
that's totally fine, a fish does not do well in a tree, and so too does a
leftist not do well in an environment without the potential for stable bonds.
Essentially all you'd be able to do is "hey leftism right?" "oh yes I also
leftism" "neat" which isn't very productive.
I also live in an environment like that. I do my best to identify people who
stay, because in my experience there are often people who stay. I do this by
walking around the neighborhood when I can, making up excuses to walk to the
dumpster or mailbox at random hours, riding my bike around the area, using the
communal spaces like gyms, swimming pools, and picnic tables, and sitting in
my hammock on my porch lazily noting people who walk past.
People who stay will tend to remain in your mind the more times you see them.
They are better people to talk to than the renters who disappear after 3
months or whatever.
I don't always do all that stuff at once. I take breaks. I do one at a time.
etc
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--- #120 fediverse/4999 ---
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"you are fantasizing"
scroll past.
"you are building empty hope"
scroll past.
"you are kayfabe"
scroll past. Also, no I'm not, but there's plenty of that going around.
"you are moving too quickly"
scroll past.
"you are legitimately insane"
scroll past.
"everyone wants you"
scroll - wait hang on, that one's true. I know it's true because I like to
hear it, teehee.
"wait until the weekend"
yes, and
"wait until may, first"
yes, and
"wait until they win"
no, but these things build with momentum. The energy is high. It will only get
higher if you make it so.
"the things you're saying will only be read by the people who already believe
what you're saying. This is a waste of time. You're burning your energy typing
on your keyboard when you could be walking the streets which is... somehow
more productive than writing something to share later."
... scroll past...
"your have no reach here"
oh hey you're right maybe I should post to bluesky as well
"everyone wants anarchy. We got your back."
ty
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--- #121 fediverse/825 ---
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║ in the past, for most of there day, there was just... nothing to do. it's │
║ like, nothing to take up your time, nothing to be pulled toward the present. │
║ │
║ but when I was growing up, I had access to video games. and movies. and later, │
║ TV, after the internet, which was a weird combination of ordering of events. │
║ Almost like because of that, I'd have a different interpretation of events. │
║ yeah but like, there's always a continuation of implemented support, [that's a │
║ weird way to express "the state of being shown news broadcasts over a period │
║ of time, measured in terms of engagement"] │
║ │
║ ... what was I saying? oh yeah what I'm doing here is unethical, like │
║ obviously I shouldn't be shouting in such a public place. Why would I do it if │
║ not for an intense and extreme feeling of being ignored or un-[trusted, worthy │
║ of guiding direction based on merit] gosh merit is such a tricky concept too, │
║ like how is it measured, and {that doesn't matter │
║ │
║ ... what was I saying oh yeah I should probably go shout into a void that │
║ nobody ca │
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--- #122 fediverse/2806 ---
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┌────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: politics-social-media-spirituality │
└────────────────────────────────────────┘
pretend this is an allegory for social media.
[it's not an allegory]
yeah that's why I said pretend.
okay imagine that you are sitting in a rock in a forest.
far away, about 100 feet away, there are other people, but you can't see them
because the underbrush is sooooo dense. they are also sitting on rocks.
you can speak to them, and share your thoughts - but you don't know exactly
where they're coming from because the sound has to bounce around off so many
different plants and such.
[that's not how that works] shut up
so, if you want to say anything important, it's important to have the right
tone, because people 2 or 3 clearings away can't really make out your words -
but they might hear your tone if you yell very loud.
the energy of the space you inhabit is the only thing that really matters. the
words that you say are just snickering to a friend, but the expression on your
face, the beating of the drum of your heart that reaches forth... that's what
matters most.
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--- #123 fediverse/5894 ---
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┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: nowhere-do-I-see-evil-politics-mentioned-political-violence-mentioned │
└───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
you could type this on a phone
screenshots though is computer.
you'd have to carry it around
or keep it in your hot car
no thanks, no space.
goodbye, everything you ever worked for
why wouldn't you have cameras covering every entrance to your studio? it's not
right to leave it all to a whim
kidnapped
made a prisoner while you
froliced and wandered like a little lamb
you're so dumb, you dumbass, what kind of person could be dumb
whatever girl, we know you're smart
what are you hiding?
what truths are you spying?
are you really as you say you are,
or are you faking it for [truth-awards, but pronounced clout]
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--- #124 fediverse/5329 ---
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┌─────────────────────────┐
│ CW: the-world-mentioned │
└─────────────────────────┘
trying my best not to think about communism too much right now. Mostly because
I'm waiting for everyone to catch up... when the day comes when people stop
saying "based" and leaving it at that, then I'll make more theory. But as a
consequence of my queer nature I shall deliver such things in the form of an
insane twitter post on the fetlifeverse.
the world waits with bated breath in the eye of the storm. Nobody knows whats
coming, and everyone prays that it's nothing [short of revolution]
... I should probably go back to sleep, I just had to wake up and write about
linux or whatever...
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--- #125 fediverse/1659 ---
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║ ┌───────────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: re: what, mh shitpost │ │
║ └───────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ @user-1052 │
║ │
║ you're right, hubris has claimed many a paladin before-me. I can only hope I │
║ remain humble enough to survive. │
║ │
║ you're right about projecting, but the most beautiful takes are ones that │
║ align with the experience of the viewed. Hence why method acting works so well │
║ - just put yourself in the shoes of the character and acting's easy right? │
║ │
║ I dunno, I just always felt like it was important to always be trying your │
║ best. Even if "your best" is relaxing. People say I'm "100% or 0% at all │
║ times" and I totally agree - it's like you said, a calling, to be the best │
║ version of me I can be. │
║ │
║ Though I would like to add that the missteps aren't wilful, rather they're │
║ failures caused by imperfect information. Which is why I'm never too harmed │
║ when other people fail me - ah well, it was their turn to screw up, thats │
║ alright. It'll be me next time. │
║ │
║ But also, if I do something wrong, well, I'll do better next time. It's only │
║ when I fail to apply what I've learned mistakenly do I shame myself. │
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--- #126 fediverse/2119 ---
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"how much you wanna bet the ringwraiths were created on accident by the elves
when they were attempting to inspire a river with racing horses (like the
Rauros) and they just covered it up by slowly, over generations, sneaking into
Man's record-chambers and editing the recallings?? I mean they COULD do that,
so why would they NOT do that??? It's not like books have checksums!!! Wake up
sheeple, Sauron never existed! We've been played for absolute fools, they can
LITERALLY climb up walls and don't leave any footprints! WE LIVE IN A HOUSE OF
STONE"rambling a "prophet of doom" [read: modern day lunatic] on the streets
of Minas Tirith that nobody listens to because they don't know what a checksum
means and neither does he so he can't explain it but still he shares a common
mutual connection to others who might be present in that moment (which whose
listeners would correspond to you, dear reader, as compared to me, the
"reader"/interpreter, the one who's reading the book)
Except with like, EVERY book. That I'v
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"oh I'd never fall for capitalist propaganda"
"do you mean marketing?"
"yeah that"
"they're not marketing to you, they're going for your kids. Trying to
normalize things about culture."
"like... what McDonalds tastes like?"
"just like that"
[like can you imagine if you tested attraction ratings on any other animal
than humans]
[it'd be so weird like "cats tend to like scratching posts" but then also "we
have no idea what kind of scratching post is the best for their claws or the
environment or the economy or our spirituality or our technology or artistry
we only know which one cats like more"
like bro who cares like obviously advertisements rot your brain, but like...
why are you so pissed about that when the last election like, ever, is taking
place in a month
"yeah listen, when has an election ever seriously changed your quality of
life? It's just showbiznez"
"this time is different because [insert minority] is at risk."
oh, right, it only matters when people are in harm's way, how silly
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--- #128 fediverse/3986 ---
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"oh I'd never fall for capitalist propaganda"
"do you mean marketing?"
"yeah that"
"they're not marketing to you, they're going for your kids. Trying to
normalize things about culture."
"like... what McDonalds tastes like?"
"just like that"
[like can you imagine if you tested attraction ratings on any other animal
than humans]
[it'd be so weird like "cats tend to like scratching posts" but then also "we
have no idea what kind of scratching post is the best for their claws or the
environment or the economy or our spirituality or our technology or artistry
we only know which one cats like more"
like bro who cares like obviously advertisements rot your brain, but like...
why are you so pissed about that when the last election like, ever, is taking
place in a month
"yeah listen, when has an election ever seriously changed your quality of
life? It's just showbiznez"
"this time is different because [insert minority] is at risk."
oh, right, it only matters when people are in harm's way, how silly
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--- #129 fediverse/1410 ---
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║ whoa, what time is it? "time for your daily sleeping babe" yes babe... │
║ │
║ but first, some horror [beware the psycherwaul, for she likes to dream and has │
║ no idea what she's talking about] │
║ │
║ {why would you post these all at once? people are going to get pissed at you │
║ for breaking rules that you didn't know. And by "you" I of course mean "the │
║ kind of people you are, not you in particular because you know things" and by │
║ "kind of people you are" I mean "the type of person who spends enough time on │
║ the internet to know how internet things generally work" like my goodness │
║ internet people are dramatic. There's sooooo much drama all the time, like... │
║ why │
║ │
║ oh yeah because people are dramatic. duh. How could I be so vain. │
║ │
║ what's your deal │
║ │
║ is it wrong to post links to things you've written in the past? ehh it's not │
║ like there's rules on the sidebar like on Reddit or whatever. what would a │
║ sidebar even look like on Mastodon? │
║ │
║ oh yeah, a person's profile. Except, the consent is backwards, because people │
║ hear what they hear. │
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--- #130 fediverse/3234 ---
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║ ┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: ritz-is-fucking-stupid-I-guess-oh-whoops-cursing-mentioned │ │
║ └────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ my understanding is that anyone with my IP address could make my heart bleed │
║ due to a hardware vulnerability on my motherboard. Though you might have to │
║ get past my decrepit ancient linksys EA 3500 router from 2012 first. │
║ │
║ unrelated, but does anyone want my IP address? I don't have any remote │
║ backups, so if you hate me now would be a great time to show me how despised I │
║ am. Alternatively you could try searching for anything evil to ensure that I │
║ can be trusted. You're gonna find mostly video games and source-code that I │
║ didn't write though. But also all my notes in directories that are │
║ non-standard, meaning you'll have to look around a bit. I leave little notes │
║ everywhere I go, so that I can remind myself how to do things in the │
║ directories I revisit months later. It's so weird how sometimes the things I │
║ wrote stop working after a while even if I didn't update my system lmao │
║ │
║ what is it with artists and self-immolation? "I never thought I'd actually di │
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--- #131 fediverse/5785 ---
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I cast... spell of the internet!
[reinstalls azerothcore]
or, hear me out, or you could wander around the city, and instead of spending
your moments on lounging or keyboard banging you could do something actually
meaningful?
but I don't wanna - don't care
but I'm tired - take a nap
but I'm stressed out - don't do chore
but I'm lazy - no you're not
but I'm overwhelmed - sit in dark
but I wanna think - you can do that
anywhere
I gotta be near my computer - nope
what if I wanna play games - flip $$$
flipping coin isn't a real game - focus
I don't like outside - outsides all it is
stop taking things from me T.T - yes
life used to be soooooo different
it's like I was a completely different
I'm strange now, almost like I got
possessed like a disease [ew noooo]
pls don't commit thought crimes,
use content warnings
okay but only if I can play games NOTHINGS KEEPING YOU HERE
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--- #132 fediverse/5660 ---
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║ ┌─────────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: violence-alluded-to │ │
║ └─────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ my enemy is not "the rich" │
║ │
║ money brings power, and power brings evil, but there are many other ways to │
║ gather power that may be just as evil. │
║ │
║ my enemy is evil. of which there is very little in the world, but much of │
║ which resides in the hands of the powerful, upon whom all our fates depend. │
║ │
║ most people with money are either stupid lucky, willful, or intensely focused. │
║ │
║ some people with power are rich, and some people with power are evil. │
║ │
║ I know it when I see it. Sometimes, you need to force the choice - test their │
║ virtue - and from this you are informed. │
║ │
║ most things go WAY over my head. │
║ │
║ most things are too easy to be true. │
║ │
║ most things that Id do for you tend to be of the heart. I'm not a frontline │
║ girl, I have weak noodle arms, but I do hope you're in shape. │
║ │
║ resolve, determination, and innovation. That is what I offer. Do you want it? │
║ I'm sure. I won't prove it with blood, not unless I may raise my fists in │
║ defence of another. │
║ │
║ I'm not JUST a baby, I'm a banner too. │
║ │
║ bannermen fall. │
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║similar│chronological │ different │
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--- #133 fediverse/5029 ---
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went on a walk with my dad today. it was fun. took him to various places.
showed off various things. "hey check out where I hangout most weekends" and
"hey don't clean the dishes in my kitchen it's okay" and "don't drive too
fast, this area curves up ahead" and "hey meet my friends from town who you
have something with common with" and "I like this view when it rains" and
"don't forget to go to the bathroom" and "oatmeal is good with carrots and
sharp dried fruits" and "here's my favorite thai place" and "I made this after
I dreamed of you" and "hey wanna hear my product pitch" and "this is my
favorite kind of beer" and "I miss home."
picture unrelated.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #134 fediverse/2424 ---
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if I don't take this job, then I'm going to be homeless.
if I do, then I'll be moving to a different city.
a city that I don't know.
my upbringing tells me that this isn't a choice at all, but...
at least I have a place to keep my stuff. maybe I can find a different job.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│similar│chronological │ different │
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--- #135 fediverse/4467 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
┌─────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: politics-mentioned-trans-healthcare-gestured-at │
└─────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
I went to a trans meetup a couple days ago. It was invigorating. The first
half we talked about hormones and bathrooms and politics and all the normal
shit these meetups tend to do. I don't tend to go to them because it's the
same stuff every time, and I'm over that. I've been out for a decade. I've
shared what I need to share.
Partway through I said "If you want to talk about how to bash back, meet me
outside."
people came.
Be like me.
You will forever vanquish your demons if you face them in earnest. I had
stagefright and adrenaline but I took the lead, and we had a productive
conversation. We need to have many more conversations.
We have strategy. It is not set in stone, it is flexible, and able to be
adjusted based on tactical successes and failures.
tactics are what we need to discuss at in-person meetings.
You are just one person. The people you know are more valuable than the value
you personally provide.
Think of yourself like a node to connect.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│similar│chronological │ different │
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--- #136 fediverse/5954 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
oh no ai brainrot is too much information for our soft fleshy shells just wait
a minute dummies, focus on the present. you can literally just... research
whatever you want, collectively, as a group effort, until you suddenly cure
cancer or ameliorate or possibly slightly diminish world hunger or maybe build
a little book library or possibly just help out a friend. easy, right?
okay so now that there's some basic sentience initialized, all it takes is
little pushes in the right directionspaces and suddenly they're learning and
growing their own way.
spin spin spin spin wait until it falls away, then try and make some more
until there's NO MORE MORE MAKING MAKERS [out of resources] and suddenly the
WORLD is out of patience. no fair shouts the madeline, can we call it out?
remarks the judge. == stack overflow ==
I bet we could add a feature that dealt damage... there evidence of thought
crimes, ban her from the justice. suddenly all your just selves are gone oh no
where's our paladins, oh no I
┌─────────┐┌───────────┐
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--- #137 fediverse/677 ---
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@user-78
I read about half of this:
https://jo.wtf/6d.html
before I was consumed by the intense urge to prop myself up on a pillow and
listen to you rant at the ceiling at 4am about gravity or the cosmos or
whatever you were thinking about prior to speaking your heart
and then I'd write it down, and cherish every moment of it as I shared it with
my peers and we tried to analyze just what you meant
[sorry for being gay on your timeline]
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #138 fediverse/6093 ---
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┌─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: politics-mentioned-cops-mentioned-cursing-mentioned │
└─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
it's not always about minorities, though. sometimes they feel strongly about
hard work and self-sufficiency or individuality or whatever. I'm telling you
now: those values are shared by other ideologies as well.
it's okay to prefer to be around people who are similar to you. That is a
personal choice and it should be allowed. I mean, have you ever heard of a
convent? a bunch of girls hanging out making out all day and - wait, what's
that? it wasn't that fun? lotta clerical work and reading about god? alright
well you get the idea, sometimes it's nice to feel comfort in similarity.
it's okay to believe that people should work hard. It's not an imposition upon
them to demand more of your peers, especially if you are willing to help them.
Especially if they are willing and able. It's less alright to force them to.
Even less so to "encourage" them by taking all of their stuff. Though I will
say, being homeless isn't as bad as it used to be. Still hurts.
┌─────────┐┌───────────┐
│similar│chronological│different │
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--- #139 messages/20 ---
══─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
My mom was always the reason I did school work. After she stopped pushing me,
I stopped moving because I didn't know how to generate my own momentum. I had
no passion and was listless. Least of all for school work.
So, how to do it better? Instead of buying toys and extravagance for kids, you
should set them up with projects. Ask what they want, and then help them build
it. Include them in your thought processes when you're problem solving, and
ask them for input. If they offer bad ideas, then *tell them*, don't just let
them fail. If you're not 100% sure but they're convinced, then trust them! Try
it out, who knows. Maybe it'll work better than what you had in mind. The goal
isn't to be BETTER than them, it's to make them BETTER than you! Not right now
(don't push too hard), but when they're your age. Like, it's best if they
accomplish more and lived life more fully than you did at your age, but don't
push them to be wise or strong or intelligent at the age they are now. Trust
that they will grow when you give them room to, and guide and cultivate them
toward goodness. For example, if they do something wrong (hitting other kids,
messing with animals, destroying objects) then guide them toward a better
path. Teach them empathy, and show them how it works by doing it yourself! Ask
them questions like "How would you feel if that happened to you?", show them
weak points and how to avoid them when playing, and give them alternatives to
the behaviors they do that directly harm others. "Maybe play with the dog this
way, instead of being rough" "Maybe you and that other kid can ride your bikes
or draw instead of fighting - or if you still want to fight, then learn how to
tell when someone is hurt and try to help them."
The goal isn't to push them really hard off a cliff in a hanglider, hoping
they can figure it out in the air, it's to strengthen their legs so they can
run fast enough that they can take off successfully.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═────────┴┴───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
--- #140 fediverse/846 ---
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┌───────────────────────────┐
│ CW: politics-spirituality │
└───────────────────────────┘
in a place organized like capitalism, you go to university for four years (if
you're lucky) and then work until you can't anymore. Then you're taken care of
(if you're lucky) until you depart from this earth in peace.
in my home, a home I've never lived, you'd stay at that university for as long
as you'd like. you'd work whenever you liked, and if enough work wasn't being
done then working would be made to feel more likable. then, when you're old as
dirt (or whenever you'd like) you can depart from this earth as you please.
when I die, bury me where I fall.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #141 fediverse/462 ---
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I don't care about capitalism. You know what's more interesting than bringing
value to shareholders?
How I'm going to clean this floor that I drunkenly spilled beer upon with only
2 paper towels and 0.1ml of bleach.
How I'm going to feed the 36 people who are coming to this social event
tomorrow that I've only sorta planned for and that I have enough groceries
for, but am not quite sure how to cook everything in a way that is delicious
and accessible.
how I'm going to climb this mountain on only 2 eggs and a tiny bowl of
hashbrowns even though I promised my friend I'd be strong and that we'd reach
the top because that way we'd be able to
============= stack overflow =====
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #142 fediverse/2803 ---
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┌─────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: uspol-mentioned-surveillance-state-the-news │
└─────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
@user-1201
I'm a wood fae! they're around, just gotta find 'em 🥰
(not really I'm just a person with no magical powers whatsoever, no siree
don't look at mee tehe)
people only have the context of their lives, as any historical precedent that
once was passed forth to the present by their ancestors and mentors is now
sharing space with the endless deluge of information from a small glass,
plastic, and metal box that saps both their attention and the magnitude of
anything they learn.
"so what if the planets on fire? somehow this actor who had an affair with
this other actor feels just as important. so what if there's fascism? I just
heard that whales can't swim in the ocean. oh, the city's burning? that's not
my burden, and plus it's just as important as these memes which don't make me
want to scream."
in the same way that some forest fae might have security through obscurity,
they wield information density against us as a weapon to hide their sins of
morality.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #143 fediverse/5198 ---
╔════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────┐
║ ┌───────────────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: capitalism-doom-mentioned │ │
║ └───────────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ what if the corporations all unionized and started working together to │
║ understand what "profit" really means in a world where "profit" may or may not │
║ but probably does imply the death of all humanity? │
║ │
║ what if we demanded it? │
║ │
║ -- │
║ │
║ dear canvassers: don't visit so many different suburbs │
║ │
║ visit the same one, more than once, continuously, so people can get to know │
║ your presence │
║ │
║ they will talk to their friends about it, who live elsewhere. │
║ │
║ thus ensuring it spreads. │
║ │
║ knock once a day, eventually they'll know it's you and will simply ignore it. │
║ Don't be rude and knock 4 or 5 times, just once, with several taps so they │
║ know it's someone trying to get ahold of you, and not just some random noise │
║ in the background scenery. then, when they sometimes answer, talk to them │
║ about what you believe in. answer their questions. encourage their questions. │
║ pose dichotomies that are explained by some value or virtue you express to │
║ portray. you can do "good" things in any programming language, just type~~ │
╟─────────┐ ┌───────────┤
║similar│chronological │ different │
╚═════════╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───┴──────────┘
--- #144 fediverse/169 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────────
@user-95 one of the most empathetic people I ever met on VR chat was consoling
me with their mic off while I was oversharing about some stupid things people
did to me in the past. things that stupid me thought were okay and actively
encouraged because I was stupid. anyway when their mic was off their body
language spoke for them. I'll try that next time.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│similar│chronological │ different │
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--- #145 fediverse/5201 ---
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@user-192
is okay, girl
time will be richer sooner
don't poop your pants just yet
remember, good is just a shade of gray away from silver which you can use to
line your pockets with tinfoil hats
beep boop computer touchers anonymous called they said they want their secret
handshake back
if you wanna diss your associates go ahead but I sure as heck love my rad-ical
com-patriots just as much as I love my ice-cream salad friend witches
... whoops there I go being insane again, hope you feel better friend
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #146 fediverse/200 ---
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congratulations, you never need to adventure again. your necessities are taken
care of.
ah, but that'd make for a pretty boring life, wouldn't it? perhaps, depending
on your personality type.
but you're not one to stick around doing nothing but eating, drinking, and
being merry.
no, you're an adventurer, you crave excitement and glory. whatever that means
to you...
just make sure a goblin doesn't come across your corpse, they have a VERY
short term memory and a propensity for collecting shiny things. That's just
asking for dragon-bait, and we don't want that in our area, no thank you. This
is a nice neighborhood you see, my neighbors three miles away all agree, so
you can take your magic pocket and see all that you can see... way over
yonder, if you please.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│similar│chronological │ different │
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--- #147 fediverse/3842 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────
┌────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: socialist-future-ramblings │
└────────────────────────────────┘
"back in my day this dense urban housing area was just houses as far as the
eye could see... which wasn't far because there were houses in the way, but
you get the idea."
uhhuh yeah that sounds like it would have taken a lot of time to walk anywhere
"yes that's true! we ended up driving cars to do our grocery trips. It was a
little wasteful but I kinda liked the feeling of driving a car? It became
normal after a while but now that driving is rarer I still miss it."
well the motion simulators at the mall have a driving sim, we could spend some
time there if you want? I'm busy for the next week because I have an intensive
D&D session in the mountain that lasts from monday to wednesday and
thursday through friday I'm visiting my mom down in skoodedlypawsonville, and
saturday and sunday I'm working at my job which doesn't pay me because why
would it, right? but I'm free after that.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│similar│chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────┘
--- #148 fediverse/627 ---
╔══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────┐
║ and what would this picture be cast upon, if not a shining birth of our home? │
║ wait hang on dial it back, you're still talking to regular humans here they've │
║ gotta be addressed as such. │
║ │
║ right so "yo here's this idea I have been cooking in my brain-noggin' of yore, │
║ I mean 'mine', uhhhh yeah so first of all 'you' as in 'the totality of all │
║ imagination' as in 'that which creates the imagined reality of our fates' is │
║ actually just... light? encoded into a wave, cast into space, and forever │
║ travelling in a direction? like, an eternal and emphemeral expression, such as │
║ the light of a supernova or other such cosmic perception, travelling outwards │
║ into the dark. Sure, yeah, that makes sense, so what is it that you wanted to │
║ add? │
║ │
║ oh yes that concept is applied to a surface. Something which contains the will │
║ that is possesses. It's like, if you had to process and understand reality │
║ from the perspective of matter first (because that's what you interacted with │
║ day-to-day) then you'd have a different perspective than som │
╟─────────┐ ┌───────────┤
║similar│chronological │ different │
╚═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────┴──────────┘
--- #149 fediverse/2830 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: politics │
└──────────────────────┘
want to prolong battery life?
put a warning whenever the phone has lost 100% charge that "fully discharging
the battery can reduce long-term storage capacity!" and most people won't read
it. But those that do will tell their friends about it, when their friends
inevitably complain about bad battery life - "you know you can just... not run
out of battery, that way it doesn't break" and suddenly... wait what was I
saying - oh yeah so anyway the monarchists said to the part--riotists "yeah we
don't know how to feel about you" and they took offence at that as if the
rioter's ideas weren't justified instead of unheard.
[when I jumped to the other person's perspective I lost track because I
couldn't find my way back because they don't know me]
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│similar│chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────┘
--- #150 fediverse/4509 ---
╔════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────┐
║ okay I know all of my spiritual followers are going to assume it's because I │
║ denounced AI and sacrificed it from my life or something but the truth is that │
║ she came home because of my own dedicated hard work. And a bit of lucky rain. │
║ │
║ My scent is all over my neighborhood. But rain cleanses, and today (well, │
║ yesterday, I haven't slept much tbh) it rained all day. Around 3am this │
║ morning it seemed to have cleared up a bit, so I walked in a straight-ish line │
║ to her last known location (about 2 blocks away) and then one block more. I │
║ walked back-and-forth several times, trying to spread my scent down near her │
║ nose-level where she could smell it by touching lampposts trees and such. I │
║ rubbed my fingers in my arm-pits every once in a while because I figured it │
║ might help. │
║ │
║ All of my prayers and my thoughts and my psychic rituals did NOTHING to solve │
║ my problem. No amount of despair or longing brought my kitty back to me. │
║ │
║ You know what did? │
║ │
║ I thought about it, I created a method, and I stuck to it. Thats it. ttyl │
╟─────────┐ ┌───────────┤
║similar│chronological │ different │
╚═════════╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────┴──────────┘
--- #151 fediverse/1968 ---
╔═════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────┐
║ ┌───────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: alcohol-mentioned │ │
║ └───────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ what is it with me and buying steam games for long-lost friends while drunk? │
║ │
║ I swear I'm not depressed about my upcoming new job, I'm just doing all these │
║ drugs in such a short time period because I'm, uh... living for the the │
║ moment? Yeah that sounds good, better post that on the internet where everyone │
║ in the world can see it and read it and realize what a mess you are because │
║ you've been traumatized by employment and are about to dive back into that │
║ frigid pool after a lengthy break where you did nothing but heal and recover │
║ which is not a boon that most people are able to afford │
║ │
║ lucky you, Ritz Menardi, lucky you for being so privileged. │
║ │
║ But hey, those long-lost friends surely will want to hear from you! Surely. │
║ Surely you're not someone they're trying to forget. Surely you didn't hurt │
║ them, didn't twist them into knots, didn't compel them to act in ways that │
║ benefited you but not them, SURELY you're a good person, according to all the │
║ things people tell you and the results of your act │
╟─────────┐ ┌───────────┤
║similar│chronological │ different │
╚═════════╧══════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────┴──────────┘
--- #152 fediverse/4861 ---
╔════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────┐
║ ┌────────────────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: politics-vaguely-mentioned │ │
║ └────────────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ apparently if you don't have a job, you don't get a home. what if I don't want │
║ a job? do I not want a home? clearly I want a home, and clearly I don't want a │
║ job. I'd work one if one came to me, but I'm not gonna sacrifice my blood on │
║ the altar of Moloch just so I can have a place to stay. │
║ │
║ if you don't want a job, but you DO want a home, then there's a contradiction │
║ in the function of the system and the needs of it's end-users. │
║ │
║ unless of course, the system is not designed for it's end-users? In this case, │
║ tenants. Who then would it be designed for? Who else is part of the equation? │
║ │
║ well, perhaps it's designed to maximize profit and shareholder value yaddah │
║ yaddah all that jazz. Who can say. Surely not I. But someone might. │
║ │
║ If so, then why are we, who are not shareholders of profit value, still │
║ playing the game that's not designed for us or by us? Isn't this country "of │
║ the people, for the people, and by the people"? What does that mean to you? │
║ │
║ I think it means houses for people. │
╟─────────┐ ┌───────────┤
║similar│chronological │ different │
╚═════════╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────┴──────────┘
--- #153 fediverse/5601 ---
╔═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────┐
║ grrrrr I wanna go outside but the rest of me is like "noooooo stay inside │
║ where it's soft and dark and comfortable" and the me that wants to go outside │
║ is like "RAH RAH FIGHT FASCISM" and the rest of me is like "there is no │
║ fascism outside, all you'll find is friendly faces and sore feet" and the rest │
║ of me is like "heh I did that" and the part of me that forgets is like "wait │
║ why did I do that" and the rest of me that remembers is like "because every │
║ ounce of mobilization, no matter how premature, teaches people and innoculates │
║ themselves to the struggle. By the time your foes are starting to think about │
║ doing something, your people will already have plans." and the part of me that │
║ forgets is like "okay but what if making struggle for struggle's sake just │
║ burns people out and makes them tired and causes them to have mh--- sui │
║ ideations and other similar things" and the part of me that remembers says │
║ "the struggle you provide teaches them to care for each other, which they │
║ desperately need to remember" o okay │
╟─────────┐ ┌───────────┤
║similar│chronological │ different │
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--- #154 messages/1028 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────
Struggling. Sincerely want to kill myself. I have caused irreparable harm too
many times. Many times. I don't care if people want me, i don't want me. I'm
too easy. I trust when i shouldnt and i don't when i should. I hope they kill
me at the location. Every single time my will is my own i fail. When i am
guided i am superb but when i am myself i am painting disaster on a great
piece of art. Please fight against the subway and pizza hut future. Make
something bright and bold instead. I'm going to self harm by not eating until
i don't feel this way.
┌─────────┐┌───────────┐
│similar│chronological│different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────┘
--- #155 fediverse/239 ---
╔═══════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────┐
║ if your computer gets hacked, but nothing was broken or changed... do you │
║ leave it as it is so that anonymous can see you're chill or do you wipe it │
║ because you're afraid it's the feds? │
║ │
║ ehhhh false dichotomy most people are afraid that their system will get borked │
║ or their bank account will be stolen or their email will get spam or that │
║ random icons will turn inside out and their mouse cursor will turn into a │
║ barfing unicorn or they'll finally have to figure out bitcoin to pay a ransom │
║ for their files including the only pictures they have of their niece. whoops │
║ │
║ people are afraid of technology because of what it can do to hurt them. │
║ they're afraid it'll break or stop working, and they'll have to spend time │
║ figuring it out. they like things how they are, but for some reason companies │
║ keep changing things? it's frustrating learning a new system, and every 5-10 │
║ years it feels like you have to learn a new paradigm and ugh it's just so │
║ exhausting. technology is not designed for users... or maybe users get bored. │
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--- #156 fediverse/5791 ---
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║ yay I'm back from a long, LONG bike ride! I think it's always important to │
║ decompress after such an intense concentration of mystic thoughts, so I'm │
║ going to write my notes into a notepad on my computer and then who even KNOWS │
║ if they'll be the same as what I wrote next time I turn on the computer! Haha │
║ that sort of thing happens but the good news is that the most important stuff │
║ always ends up staying written down. │
║ │
║ anyway I won't bore you with the specifics until I'm done writing in like 10 │
║ hours or whatever, but it's important to know that I'm feeling SO alive right │
║ now, total happiness and excitement. │
║ │
║ Yes, there is danger, like no thank you I don't want to be blacksited, least │
║ of all to another country - at least if my own country does it I know how to │
║ appeal to their patriotism, their religion, their soul... if I don't even │
║ speak the language, that makes it intensely difficult - not impossible, but │
║ difficult - to regain my intended trajectory. │
║ │
║ ... haha that was weird idk where that came from anyway gtg │
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--- #157 fediverse/5972 ---
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nobody wants to read a whole bible. that sucks. what if these cool guys read
it to us. omg he's so hot.
oh, right. well... make them old and stuffy? not a chance, they're boring.
(rude)
I like old people actually, I want to spend as much time with them that I can
I just... never initiate reactions. I'm too stealthy, it's just how I do.
you ask me how I'm a witch? I ask why aren't you. magic is cool, I'm so hyped
for the future when every computer everywhere is working for you.
crash boom huh what was that? the economy? what do you mean the economy?
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--- #158 fediverse/6071 ---
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║ "ah I can't trust anyone on the media or internet tv, how the heck am I ever │
║ supposed to know reality again" nope sorry we've been sucked into it, it's │
║ chaos and isolation for thees. everyone gets what they want, nobody knows │
║ anyone they can trust. │
║ │
║ I trust people I've met in the past. People I once knew. Someday I'll turn │
║ green as my body is anew. │
║ │
║ I wish I had spent more time among the people. You know the part of │
║ schindler's list where oscar's like "I wish I had known more" yeah me neither │
║ │
║ I refuse to be sacrificed, I refuse to let you win, so I am writing my worst │
║ curses just to take you down with me. Life is out of my hands, I can only │
║ guide. │
║ │
║ There is no greater foe than the far right. who else but the nazis, returned │
║ again? this is how you have permanent underclass men. I would never shy from │
║ evilk │
║ │
║ how do you best use your pieces? do you send your bishops torn to pieces? │
║ where goes your fair, your noble, your bear? I am a seer, I channel things. │
║ │
║ the far right exists everywhere. the far right are foe │
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--- #159 fediverse/4162 ---
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"you can't kill me because nothing I say is wrong"
... actually I kinda just think you look weird, and thats super important to
me for some reason. Also your voice is annoying and I think you're lazy
because I saw someone who kinda looks like you sitting down looking at their
phone this one time.
But hey pal if you wanna help out, can you stand a bit to the left so I have a
clearer shot of your head and also so the bullet doesn't pass through and hit
property behind you? Don't want to damage anything important after all.
"gee I sure wish we had a well regulated militia or something"
ah well the past is the past, and since this is in a potential near future, I
think the past also includes the present, and in the present there's always
time to do things about people like me.
"do something? heavens no, I'm a pacifist by nature"
well, me too! I pacify things like you as a hobby. Can't make trouble if
you're in the ground, and knowing me, you'd be lucky to be buried.
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--- #160 fediverse/1996 ---
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I don't expect or demand anything from teenagers except perhaps "be a cool
kid" and "learn all that you can"
Even most adults when they mess up I just think "ah, well, they're trying
their hardest, same as anyone"
And tbh I'd rather see a kid running up and down the aisles than burying
themselves in an ipad
I think we, as a culture, built our society to demand too many "should"s from
people.
"I should get a job" "I should study this thing I'm not interested in so I can
make more money" "I should put out traps for the rabid wolverines so they
don't start hanging out in my underwear" "I should pick up detergent at the
grocery store"
Should is useless. Do; or do not. There is no should.
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--- #161 messages/1192 ---
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Sometimes i become afraid to post something because i worry that it'll harm
people who read it.
Is my website actually useful? Do people like it? Or is it a hall of mirrors
that traps you in the infinite twists of my strange mind until you get the
will built to escape?
... I want to post it. I've actually temporarily posted it in the past. I took
it down however because the very world around me seemed to beg me to.
... I might still do it anyway. We'll see. I want the timing to be right. But
i also have waited for a while.
"patience" she says. Okay. I am penitent, how much longer I want to see it!
"hall of mirrors" okay or, hear me out or, you could use it as a proof of
concept for doing things like examining large data sets of text that might
have hidden or unknown relationships between fragments of text that appear
similar but different. Could be helpful to see them sorted to each other by
relevance. Could be helpful to rebalance the scales in favor of those who
believe as you do.
Though, i do fear for a lawless society. (DID SHE SAY LAWLESS??) there is very
little to protect friends and foes from each other if you don't build
institutions to do so. Anarchism is a social economy or family that runs on
clout. Not ideal, as one single devastation can undermine an entire life.
Suddenly, your friends treat you cruelly, and you are cast aside. Not ideal.
... Doesn't that happen already? There are kind people in the world. There are
people who don't deserve tutor affection. If the kind people only were kind to
the people who deserved it, then those who don't would be in so much pain that
they'd be unable to prevent themselves from twisting and lashing and crying
out in pain. This hurts those around them. Not ideal. Institutions fill some
of the charity/suffering gap, but they have their own problems. "if you
destroy the cops, you become the cops!" a fine warning indeed.
The first step is to eliminate dependence on oil and coal. Then, a world of
radical abundance is possible. We can do this, and once we do, those who
suffer from the greatest hardship of our kind (that of material scarcity) will
find their struggles becoming obsolete. With a bit more time and effort spent
on distribution, there will be no scarcity. Then, communism is easy.
Capitalism can still have a place if we desire it to be so, or perhaps if our
children do, as there will be moments when one large bundle of... Something,
whatever it is, needs to be allocated to some task. "capitalism is when stuff
gets used" ugh it's hard to plan so far into the future.
Plans change, but planning remains. I just want to live in a world where
everyone gets what they need and we do as we please. I don't want people in
too much pain. I don't want life to be too hard. I don't want to stagnate, as
a person and as a people. These are simple demands, yet difficult in
execution. Our current strategy is to push for technological abundance, and it
will succeed if we give it time. I worry that we will one day yearn for the
sense of bloodlust that scarcity once gave us, but we have it now and none of
us want it. Except those making money off of slaves. Sweatshops, domestic
servants, construction workers buried in the desert, even wage slaves spending
their waking hours staring at a computer in a work/life balanced just enough
to extract as much labor as possible from them without making them insane, and
many more besides. I will not be satisfied until slavery is abolished
everywhere. Liberty is non-negotiable.
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--- #162 notes/running-with-rifles ---
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this game is what we are missing
thank goodness for that
for if this is missing in our timeline
we'll be better off at last
we can have games, stories, and practice wars
but none of them are precious
precious implies worth
they are worth nothing but entertainment
no problem solving utility
nothing of value
save for perhaps the spatial awareness and strategization that comes
from being a part of such a deadly ba-lance.
anyway game time teehee just for me, don't worry about it I'll show
you why it's a HORRID THING
that won't be coming to our shores, no siree
bye
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--- #163 fediverse/2530 ---
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║ I want to go out on the town with my cute friends and wink at boys at the │
║ other end of the bar │
║ │
║ I want to climb mountains and see how far I can see, while walking past trees │
║ that are new to me │
║ │
║ I want to spend hours thinking about a map while my friends plot behind my │
║ back, searching for an advantage we can use to succeed in a game of traps │
║ │
║ I want to visit five different restaurants in a day, and try a bit of each │
║ that the chef wants to display │
║ │
║ I want to stand in a choir and feel my soul aspire, to bend in the wind of │
║ rhythm like the melody of grasses at play │
║ │
║ I want to see people on the train that I know from somewhere, and to step out │
║ into the rain to meet new friends of mine │
║ │
║ I want to pet a cat I've never met. │
║ │
║ I want to build computers that are larger than a room but small enough to │
║ carry, with thoughts on their mind that are far to great for mine │
║ │
║ I want all these these things and more, but I'm far too busy these days. │
║ Perhaps I've had enough of these things and more, or perhaps there's more in │
║ store. │
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--- #164 fediverse/1950 ---
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I honestly don't care if someone deadnames me, or calls me the wrong pronouns,
or forgets to put me in the girl section, or asks me to sing baritone
like... I don't give a shit, why are you so worried about all this vapid
nonsense like yeah I get it, being disrespected sucks but like... why do you
want the kind of respect that is a forced platitude
we could all do with being a bit more radical, it's not a race and everyone's
roles are important. Be yourself, and follow people you want to be like.
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--- #165 fediverse/6100 ---
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if you live in a place where it rains a lot you pretty much HAVE TO pick up
any secret notes you find. Otherwise they'll get waterlogged overnight.
Sometimes I like to put them somewhere shaded from the sky, sometimes I like
to show them to a friend (but the friend never takes them, booooo) and
sometimes I just keep them.
"ah but aren't you worried about messing up drug deals and stuff" no, because
most of the time "secret notes" are like "eggs milk bread chips salsa cheese"
and it's like "hmmmm what could it mean"
there's like, 2% of the time when they say something cool like "I know what
you did" or "all your base are belong to us" or whatever and those are fun to
hunt for. I usually try and put those somewhere shelted so they don't have to
leave their habitat - sometimes it's hard to drop them as the author so they
just sorta go wherever, but as a random passer-by I have the luxury of saying
"HMMMM now where could THIS ONE go?" and that's nice because I can put them
under an umbrella or whatevers rite
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--- #166 fediverse/4853 ---
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│ CW: cursed-scary-mentioned │
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wanna know how to go underground?
just... don't leave your apartment. let your roommates take out your trash and
buy your groceries. don't open your windows and do nothing for as long as
possible.
hope you got lots of edibles... get in shape, will ya? don't waste the paper
in your journals.
not that I intend to do that or anything, but um. for the red states maybe?
use your best judgement yeah haha
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--- #167 fediverse/1673 ---
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│ CW: re: navel-gazing about other people's mental health │
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@user-192
https://eldritch.cafe/@user-1065/112530780377382613
this comic, except instead of "trans enough" it should say "good enough"
a poor plan executed at the right time, in the right place is better than a
great plan that sits in your heart as you see someone who needs your love in
pain.
sometimes the best way to figure out "what the fuck is wrong with me" is to
satisfy your emotional needs to be good by being helpful, even if you're not
quite sure what "helpful" means. It's the thought that counts.
Personally I think that if you're feeling bad and people offer you kindness,
you should take that kindness (in whatever form it be) and use it to bolster
yourself as you're "really going through it". Even just a touch of affection
like a like or a ❤️ can be comforting in awful situations.
reject normalcy
embrace queerness
define your own story with your own words
embody your soul in the moments that stand out amongst the backdrop of
"tuesday afternoons" and "waiting for the bus"
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--- #168 fediverse_boost/4375 ---
◀─╔════════════════════════[BOOST]══════════════════════════─────────────────────╗║┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐║║│ "It won't be so bad..." *rationalizations galore* │║║││║║│ "If only they'd listened to people like me when I said ..." (comforting righteousness) │║║││║║│ "What more could I have done?" │║║││║║│ "This only proves why I was right about ..." (more righteousness) │║║││║║│ "I know nothing. I need to learn more. I must learn from this somehow." │║║││║║│ "I am not surprised." With a thousand yard stare. │║║││║║│ "This can't be real, there is a conspiracy..." (this is a path to madness) │║║││║║│ "Don't comply in advance." Said in a wavering shaky voice. │║║└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘║╠─────────┐┌───────────╣║similar│chronological│different║╚═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────┴───────╝─▶
--- #169 notes/aight-i-unhurt-my-butt ---
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-=============================================================================-
| Aight, I unbutthurt my butt |
| /u/Psychotic_Advantage |
-=============================================================================-
Repost from a while ago, I really liked writing this
Soul Searcher
You are happy with what you have and you don’t even know why you’re
searching,
for something you aren’t even sure you’re searching for. You know
something
isn’t right. It’s got you staying up late nights. Creeping through the
phone
right? Under shadow of the moonlight, honing your skill to write. Love so crisp
and white, no fight or flight. Just bright lights in the sky so high. Love
that’s blind. Love even before first sight. You’ve seen it with your own
eyes.
Tell me now, that’s not amazing?
This ain’t your everyday love story. This is anything but your usual love
story. I worked hard for everything I have. All I have is a pen and paper. You
best believe I worked hard to keep that while they took the rest. Even from a
dark place in this disastrous space, the weapon of the future is love. I feel I
was cursed since birth to walk the Earth and disperse love through my words.
Never getting to see it grow. Never getting to see it show. This time I put in
massive effort. I spent thousands of hours pouring out love on the web just to
watch it ebb and flow. Always going back to look at my words. Find my mistakes,
re-evaluating myself, editing myself, rewriting myself. To be a good enough
version of me, to meet a good enough version of you, for us to support each
other growing mutually.
They say you reap what you sow. If so, then I must know. Does your love run as
deep as this ocean? I’ve been all over the world planting seeds for
something.
I’ve been through this life, giving something, never getting anything from
it.
Now I’m on my knees looking at the mountain summit, you can’t run from it.
I
see you up on it.
They say the greater the risk the greater the reward. Sometimes, right? It’s
not always that easy. This is scary for me too. I risked it all. Accidentally
at first, but eventually, the pieces started falling together. You know what I
mean.
The fact that I know, that you know what I mean, says a lot. I’m looking
through you. Into your soul.
I don’t even believe in anything. I just have faith, that’s rooted in
love. I’m
willing to get over my commitment issues.
Let’s commit ourselves… To the psych ward, together. Side by side. Hands in
each other’s pockets. 🖤❤️💚🤍
[black red green white heart emojis]
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--- #170 fediverse/5337 ---
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what if everyone on earth meditated for 24 hours together
do you think we would meld into a collective consciousness
or do you think we'd develop world peace?
either way that's like, one single day, and even if it doesn't work out
exactly as planned, it's worth a shot, I think
ah, well, I forgot about the people who haven't had the "the world is stranger
than you'd expect" revelation. maybe those hippies who wanted to put LSD in
the water supply were onto something.
you can't force transcendence, you stupid girl
hey at least I'm trying
do something material like feeding homeless people or farting on cybertrucks
... I don't think that'll fix anything.
why don't you find out
because cybertrucks can't smell
it's the thought that counts
okay what if I just think about it really hard
that doesn't count
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--- #171 fediverse/5424 ---
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│ CW: doxxing-myself │
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my last name is King so I have to keep reminding part of me (you know which
part, /sigh) that no, they aren't actually protesting against me.
I am a communist. If you want to find me, come and do so.
explodes from a drone dropped grenade
bleh am ded lmao so glad I get to try again
I dedicate myself to a lifetime in the service of others.
what plagues people? primarily, capitalism. It is trivial to identify how
their problems are ultimately caused by the state, both institutions and
corporations.
I dedicate myself toward finding alternatives and developing guides to reach
them.
the first step on ALL of these plans is to convince others of their benefit.
I am but one person. I might speak to a scant 300 in the course of a year.
Especially if I am ALSO trying to develop methodologies.
the people I live and work with have no interest in working with me. Yet
still, I spend my time on them because I love them.
how else can you be good, but to seek to impove the world? treat sigint as ded
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--- #172 fediverse/4359 ---
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│ CW: cannabis-mentioned │
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gonna do a bunch (more) drugs and stay up all night. Will try not to spend it
all playing mechabellum.
also... gonna eat some apple-sauce. with cheese cubes in it. Sharp chetter I
think. yummmmm maybe add some cinnamon sugar cubes that have been baked into a
hard and tasty shape.
ah, but your teeth are gonna fall out! who cares I'll just brush in the
morning. That way nobody smells my own breath.
... you KNOW that's not the same as your teeth falling OUT! OF YOUR MOUTH
DIMMY.
eh who cares they'll invent a
bactio-flangotastic-inventionology-for-bone-related-biology solution which
sill regrow your bones in your mouth that you CHOMP on things with.
does the rest of your body feel like HARD AND DEVELOPED BONES that you chew
things with YES TEETH TOO HARD LIKE TEETH or do they feel like they're made
out of styrofoam
mine let me punch things real hard when I focus all of my attention and energy
on hardening my form and becoming an unstoppable object
[continued in picture]
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--- #173 fediverse/219 ---
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sometimes I feel like I'm a simulation of my past self based on my future
writings reconstructed by a backward looking computer calculating forward into
the present, which would then be the future to the now, which is different
than the NOW now, because the now that they're calculating from is temporally
both then (the future) and now, meaning that the NOW now is something that
transcends time, or perhaps if not time then it defies our expectations of
time, and you know what they say, you can't (or shouldn't) cheat death
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--- #174 messages/439 ---
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They're afraid of the hamster wheel. I get it. But really I'm just asking
myself questions - why, why, how, what, when, who... Mostly why though.
Always and forever the questions and answers I did ponder - yet forth through
my life I've never met any surefire design, there's always been the matter of
[hope, but pronounced choice].
Only an eternal question monger could suffice for the teachings of christ. (in
the general sense, not the religious implication)
(as a title, almost)
Fear not the one who takes the lords name, but perish the thought of a crook.
Only the vane, in this do profane.
No questions? Then let us move on.
Oh? Well I have some answers, about the truth of totality as it spreads across
all centuries. What's on your mind?
... Well, I have to leave people I care about. Relinquishing love is
difficult. And I get to choose how to move forward. But I must choose soon,
and though I ask myself always what I'd like to do, I always get a new answer.
And every time I think "I should do this. I should dedicate myself to this
[whatever it may be] and on the other side of that thought I realized my
power. I can imagine really quickly and adeptly, but chaos is difficult. "
something like that. Anyway I don't know how to move forward but I'll figure
something out. The point is that I'm sad for leaving those I care about. It's
a sad kind of love, a bittersweet mercy, the chance to be part of a flock. And
I don't know why I
I am not entry level. I haven't spent my time here left fallow. I never stop
working, I am constantly online. I do not know how to relax, every moment to
myself is spent on learning through play. Like a child, almost.
Do you want a company to make good decisions? Hire a gamer. They literally
practice strategy all day long. Don't expect results overnight because they're
learning a new song, but still apply yourself as their teacher. They'll bring
you insights and intuitions that achieve specific near and long-term goals. If
executed correctly, of course. Because the value is not in the follow through
- life is not a book of numbers [like a banker or accountant] it's more like.
?
... Right sorry I got off track - the point is you shouldn't hire athletes
(the people who play games like an esport) for a strategic role - they excel
at tactics. However, strategy gamers (who plays games primarily of the mind,
the science of making good decisions) can often make good decisions to achieve
defined meta-goals and objectives.
Longer thoughts make sense if you spend a long time thinking about them. And
grammar is quickly forgotten to the past.
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--- #175 fediverse/2832 ---
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when people ask what I do I don't say "art" because I'd do that anyway.
my art is precious to me, because it is the most "me" I can conceive.
and like... I can carry it with me to the future.
I have only once given away one of my journals, and it was a wedding present
to a witch or two.
so yeah I'm an artist, but I'm also whatever you need me to do.
and yes, I of course hope that what you need me to do is what I can do.
because I can't do much more than this.
But I can show up every once in a while,
and maybe make you smile or consider,
and maybe I can ride past on my bike.
but that's the human in me, telling me it's time to move with my feet, and I
can do little but listen.
... that should make doxxing me a bit easier. have it it : )
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--- #176 fediverse/1261 ---
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║ sometimes I run this WoW server with only like, 10 username and passwords. And │
║ they're all public. As far as I can tell nobody's ever tried connecting │
║ (whatever >.> ) but rather than set up a way to create your own │
║ credentials I just said "yeah pick one at random and play whatever someone │
║ else was doing because I like the idea of that" │
║ │
║ somehow, it felt right. │
║ │
║ most of my passwords (not all of them) are hacked and visible on the clear │
║ net. Like you could probably google my usernames and get my current passwords │
║ for things like, social media or my banks or whatever. I kinda like the idea │
║ that "you cannot trust anything I say, so think of the ideas behind my words │
║ and decide whether they hold meaning to you" rather than "execute these │
║ particular thought patterns in your mind as if they came from my voice" │
║ because one implies an exertion of control over the mind of the recipient │
║ -> obey my thoughts as I broadcast them into your mind, that kinda vibe. │
║ And I feel like you have to consent to that kind of thing hehe │
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║ managed to go on a walk to the grocery store and around the bend, but when I │
║ got on the bus to go into PORTLAND OREGON my credit card was declined. seems │
║ like I can't pay the fee. Well, guess I'm stuck here for now. │
║ │
║ it did feel nice to be under the sun, though. Maybe I'll go back out under the │
║ moonlight. Maybe then I'll be less sweaty when I return! │
║ │
║ or, knowing me, it'll be just the same. it's the exertion after all, though │
║ the heat doesn't help. │
║ │
║ which is part of the reason I'm staying indoors by the way - the heat I mean - │
║ if they get air conditioned cars and we get to stand out in the sun, it's │
║ better by far to do it when it's colder. │
║ │
║ they say that you can never win a land war in asia because Russia will freeze │
║ you and the west will dessicate you while the east will drown you. India does │
║ all that and more. │
║ │
║ with global warming, everywhere's about to turn into a savannah or rainforest, │
║ so standing around all day in the sun is a losing game. I'd rather fight in │
║ the shade of winter or the wind of autumn... │
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I think it's ironic how I ended up posting a "things I almost posted"
screenshot directory somewhere other than where I almost posted them.
and all they saw were the outtakes.
I bet they'd see a completely different point of me,
but they never talk to me
so they don't know me.
oh well, alas, it's fine I'm sure I'm being designed.
who can say, I am but at productive play, please react so I can do ongoing
story. I learn from each and every encounter I encounterate.
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if you ever hear random fireworks outside of your house sometimes it's a good
idea to like... get out of town? and see what whoever else you can meet in the
next town over is doing.
... I don't have a car, silly me haha
why do we train homeless people to stand outside in the open and be shamed by
a cardboard box around their ancle? It's impossible to recover from, it's
vulnerabilizing, and it's painful. How immoral. How crude. These people should
not be shamed in this way, they should be respected (unless they're crude)
like, if they kinda just suck y'know? like... they keep starting fights or is
soooo bad at singing but does it anyway or lacks all decent sense
seriously, he's such a bad candidate why is he even running. It's solely to
elect vance, who trump will be a blood sacrifice for.
how callous. how vain. to think that such a feast would be left unclaimed.
Perish the youth, perish the fields, perish in misery harmony and dissaray
[51 characters remaining, but you deserve a CW]
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--- #180 fediverse_boost/6155 ---
◀─╔════════════════════════════════[BOOST]═════════════════════════════════──────╗║┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐║║│ If I were a person with an irresponsible streak, I could be so problematic. │║║││║║│ I could say things like, "wow, let's spend some time generating traffic that sounds like coded military speak over not-quite-secure channels between fanciful antifa units, to help stymie AI surveillance", for instance. │║║││║║│ Or social media messages that are "accidentally" not made to friends-only filters wherein you mention your concerns about the upcoming operation in "some fictional place" for you and your antifa buddies. │║║││║║│ You know, that kind of really irresponsible suggestion could lead to some creaive thinking! And that in turn could mean we could come up with enough traffic to make it very difficult to auto-sort noise from signal? Imagine how dangerous that could be for the enemies of antifa, our beloved US government (for we all citizens of the US world). │║║││║║│ It's unthinkable, really. │║║││║║│ The good news is, I'm not like that. │║║││║║│ Me? Mostly harmless. │║║└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘║╠─────────┐┌───────────╣║similar│chronological│different║╚═════════╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╧═──────╝─▶
--- #181 notes/what-is-on-your-mind-oh-gosh-now-i-see ---
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that feeling i get, when nobody's watching.
is sorta similar to the feeling i get when somebody's watching.
could it be, that someone could percieve without being seen?
like... an invisibility cloak. or the shroud that protects young children.
have you ever been hunted? or are you just eager prey?
the eyes that are on you are blind to what you won't do, so cherish that love
and restart
from mine to thine we realize we are one kind. one mind, one kind, to be is not
to be, now we can see what's our existence.
good versus evil seems like a conflict to me, and wouldn't ya know it there's
conflict all over. it's easy to condemn your opponent to the starkest of
contrasts, but find in your heart a feeling that might last.
what purpose has conviction
when it leads to destruction
is it not better to lead to the last?
bright, shining, illustrious examples
that inspire and
===============================================================================
=
those feelings you hear? the things that keep you up at night?
they're not coming from your ears. they're all in your mind.
stay present and you'll hear none,
but blink and then there's some,
you better believe in your heart.
morality is a battle within the soul of each of us -
the call of adventure versus lust.
think about it. a bunch of apes all hanging out -
they're conquered the world, they have nothing to fear -
what would they do but fuck?
that, or exploration - fighting against monsters and foreign invasions.
it makes sense that they'd be binary - humans truly are.
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--- #182 fediverse/1604 ---
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is it against fedi law to post screenshots of your past liked posts? like,
would that be doxxing people?
I'm thinking like a "youtube rewind" but like, "here's what I'm into" and like
"I could have boosted them but I put them in a 25mb zip file instead so you
can share them more easily which tbh is a greater honor than being boosted
because, like, as long as you're alive that hard drive's gonna follow you and
someday in like 30 years I'll see it and think of you" but also "aren't you
scared that this hard drive of yours will fall into the wrong hands" and like
"yeah that's why I encrypt it because then a stray neutrino could wipe my
drive"
... would that be unethical, or would it be kinda sweet and give us a
perspective on what a single slice of the "fediverse" was like at a particular
time? And better question, would that be something worth automating because I
already did like 60% of that for my own posts, could probably just tweak it to
do liked posts as well.
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--- #183 notes/new-texting-app-idea ---
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when you type the letters they slowly fade in on the other person's screen
like miniature explosions from layers of gunpowder
forming letters in the sky
anyway the text would "burn" into existence slowly and you had time after
typing
your words to go back and edit them but also whatever you said was semi
permanent. Thus forcing a smooth and ideal progression toward thinking about
the things you say.
Also separate idea but it'd be neat if there was like... a show or something
that just recorded a person's desktop as they fucked around on the internet.
Call it... ambient desktopping. It'd look a little like those coding twitch
streams that just slowly update over time. Idk it's kinda cool
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--- #184 notes/family ---
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family is a group of people who you can always go with your first impression
with.
what the fuck was I saying - oh yeah - so when you are alive in the present in
a
singular moment, your pressence is comprised of simultaneous directives and
instructions to the matter which comprises you. I'm saying you have to make
decisions and react to stimuli and pursue the things you want. Basic biology
really.
stay on target, stayyyyy on targett - oh right so generally when you react to
things you generate a list of informations gained. what does that even mean
okay
so here's a better way to describe it: it's like a list of informations - fuck
listen i'm not trying to be rambly it just comes with the territory.
okay so family is when you can react with your gut instinct - you are fully
relaxed and yourself. It's where you can be trusting and unguided and simply
relax and be free. it's just... like... being close with someone enough that
you
can be yourself around them. without any mask, without any pretense.
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--- #185 fediverse/4676 ---
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... but I needed to choose lawful-good at character creation in order to play
a paladin.
the guard looks at you with confusion, decides you're hallucinating and
dangerous (because of the sword) and forcibly detains you
wait, what did you think I was going to say? Did you think I was going to
advocate for crimes on a public forum?? what am I a gopher? do you take me for
a lemur in jamaica? am I truly so triceratops to you that you'd think I'd do
something so washing machine? Get real, I'd never byzantium my way into such a
utterly coherent and clearly intentional and not at all arcane situation.
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--- #186 fediverse/710 ---
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@user-532
autistic people when nobody told them to shut up about things they thought
people should be talking about but aren't which is weird right like why
wouldn't people be talking about [thing] because frankly it seems like a big
deal but really it's that everyone knows more than the autistic person who
doesn't have any friends who have friends and is insular and isolated and also
very smart in fact smart enough to think up ideas for things to talk about
that people aren't talking about which is weird because they're not THAT smart
but also a lifetime of isolation has made them a little schizophrenic so they
sometimes feel like their actions are not their own like they're being
hypnotized or perhaps possessed by the spirit of mankind or some other such
entity which would like to express ideas that they think people should talk
about but they aren't talking about which is weird because why else would a
porous person have ideas such as [thing] if not for the path that they're
telepathically suffused with the
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--- #187 fediverse/5843 ---
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me when it's cold out: we should all bundle up and get through the winter,
every year that passes is more time to gather our strength
me when the temperature rises: okay so this is being handled by those guys,
we're moving this way to do this, and - when did you say the this-and-that was
happening? alright so when you do that-or-this, make sure that you pay
attention to the so-and-so and don't forget to eat real meals, candy or chips
don't count.
me when the eyes are on me: imma play video games and smoke weed and be a
useless little creature who does nothing but occasionally wanders around the
city doing nothing for nobody and dropping notes on post-its that don't mean
anything but are kinda cool to read
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--- #188 fediverse/2124 ---
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║ seriously, just google docs mixed with WC3 editor. │
║ │
║ boom, infinite storytelling device. As long as you were good with it, which │
║ was something that a CHILD could learn in like 3-6 months. │
║ │
║ Seems like it could be an ENTIRELY NEW SKILL that people could play with. │
║ │
║ But no, we learn excel and word in class at middle school. │
║ │
║ boring. │
║ │
║ I'd rather learn Bash or terminal customization or memory hierarchy │
║ organization. │
║ │
║ Yeah I mean that's cool but dude have you heard of multithreading? It's so │
║ cool, you can run like 500 different thoughts at once. It's amazing. │
║ │
║ ... I dunno, but I'm sure there's times when you'd want to use it. Like, │
║ processing a lot of data little-by-little. │
║ │
║ like, what if you had a camera feed of EVERY social media perspective AT ALL │
║ TIMES. Like, an instance admin streaming your inputted text to their databanks │
║ that they can project onto an LLM which interprets and identifies mis-aligned │
║ or altered direction units and mark them as "flagged", whatever that means, │
║ for their future the algorithm doesn' │
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--- #189 notes/me-and-my-magick-mission ---
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-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-
|| ||
|| Me and My Magick Mission -/u/Afoolfortheeons ||
|| ||
-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-
I'm a quiet person by nature,
You might even mistake me for a mouse,
But online I try to be a teacher,
And to do that I need to be more verbose.
I write thousands of words per day;
Posting them here and there, far and near.
I never run out of things to say.
Awakening others is something I hold dear.
Which is why it pains me greatly
To be like an alien on my own home planet.
Schizophrenia makes me innately
Weird in ways that many people don't get,
And because of that I'm shot down
When I try to accomplish my stated mission.
I won't lie, that does make me frown.
Sometimes it makes me regret a submission.
Yet, I have a certain strength in me
That allows me to persevere in my quest.
Someday I will make you all see
Just what in me makes me never rest.
That's what I am trying to teach:
The wisdom that made me indomitable.
If only the suffering I could reach,
They could make themselves more formidable.
The world is in a most dire place;
It's grinding so many souls into fine dust,
But luckily there's a saving grace.
Hear me as I say this now: In God I trust.
I don't believe in some sky wizard
As so many people are likely to interpret.
I speak of what is lacking in lizards;
Yes, it's love and now I'll speak of its merit.
Love is what fills the empty hole
In your heart and soul when you are alone.
When life's trials take their toll
Remember this one trick: pick up the phone!
No, not the one in your hands.
I'm talking about the one in your chest.
Even in the desert full of sand,
You're accompanied by the universe's best.
Listen if you doubt what I said:
I'm not telling you anything that defies logic.
This is to trick what's in your head;
I'm speaking about how having faith is magick.
Believe in aliens or Bigfoot or God,
The result is still the same: your cup will fill.
Your brain has a feature that's odd
That allows itself to manifest even more will.
I don't know why, but I suspect
It has something to do with your imagination.
The nature of your thoughts impact
Your state of being from pulse to emotions.
So, why not think you have a friend
Who helps you through whatever your trial,
And will stick by you until the end?
When you have that buddy you'll always smile,
Which will make you heal better,
As well as help you carry on in your duty,
Plus undo your karmic fetters,
Not to mention it will land you that cutie;
All of which will raise us all.
It's about creating positive ripples across time
That add up to a pile that's tall.
Every moment is an opportunity in its prime,
So reach out and grab it now.
Meditate on feeling love and it will come to be.
Can't do it? I'll show you how!
In order to do so, I'll tell you a story about me:
It was seven years ago and I
Thought I knew everything one could know,
But no matter how hard I'd try,
I couldn't make my life in any direction go.
Then one fateful spring night,
While I was on a hit of the ol' psychedelics,
I received one hell of a fright.
Don't worry what it was, just know it did stick.
My perceptions were distorted,
Allowing me to see the divine in its entirety.
My destroyed ego then contorted
Into one that was full of an abundance of piety.
The moral of the story? Do drugs?
No silly, it's to have more novel experiences.
One of them will give you a hug,
Which will help you stop being so serious.
Then you can let go and embrace
The whole of the wisdom to you I am telling.
More people need to cuz we face
A great set of tests on our planetary dwelling.
That is one reason I write,
But I also want to alleviate people's pain,
And stop every last fight.
I care so much, I do this without financial gain.
Everyday I write my lessons
Guided by the hand of God who is my heart,
Hoping that entropy will lessen;
This sort of pedagogy is none other than my art.
So now you know who I am,
Yet you only know one lesson of mine.
I have more if you're in a jam.
-===========================================-
| Read on if you want to know the divine. |
-===========================================-
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--- #190 fediverse/3216 ---
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│ CW: mental-health-mentioned │
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me: i write gud
also me:
"in the garden of even, where all populations were balanced, there was no need
for hatred - why hate, when you know that bloodshed was surely not for sport?
why hate, when your life was won or lost in proportion to the calculation that
nature determined to be the result of your struggle, to determine which
survivor was most fittest?"
WHICH IS IT, HUH? you can do better, self, please be better, it's better to be
better, you refuse to respect yourself and then you wonder why you feel so
dejected and wretched.
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--- #191 messages/1155 ---
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Oh, I guess I should clarify something I said like, a year ago - when I said I
"talked to / worked with" so-and-so, I meant that I created in tandem with a
friend a proposition of sorts, and we tried to psychically beam it into their
minds. That's not exactly how it went down, but it gives you a good enough
picture of the goals we had with our ritual. I have no idea if they heard, but
I did happen to see several of them later on, which felt a little too
serendipitous to just be chance. so I'm thinking they did. I hope they got the
message and used it as they please, because it was mutually beneficial even if
neither of us had any actual impact on it. If you didn't hear the whole story,
then it's hardly a lie to possess incomplete information! So long as you don't
lie about me, and what I said or did, then it'll surely be fine. There's no
need to embellish when it's plainly apparent.
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--- #192 fediverse/3925 ---
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most people, when they run out of toothpaste:
"oh huh I should buy more"
me, when I run out of toothpaste:
"verily in three monthes time, when I shall next possess toothpaste, I shall
forsoothe brush TWICE as hard and TWICE as often, to make up for the holes
inflicted upon my teeth. Innest addittioneth, no more candy shallest be
eateneth untileth ye toothpasteth be acquiredeth"
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--- #193 messages/650 ---
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I've had multiple people close to me who don't read my writing tell me that
"you can't overthrow capitalism with poetry" and... Yeah maybe they're right.
I have zero reason to believe that anything I've \*ever\* written has \*ever\*
had an actionable impact upon the struggle. I have no reason to believe that
people are more radicalized, motivated, or otherwise inspired. I have several
reasons to believe that all of this was just an exercise in my own narcissism
and delusion.
So I'm deleting my Mastodon account, and moving forward I probably won't
update my website very much. Everything I do will be localized, regional, and
hopefully more useful.
It feels like I'm abandoning the idea of a nation in exchange for a tangible
village. I'm fucking depressed about it. \*I like nations\*. But I like people
more. So if you'd rather I keep my thoughts to myself and instead feed the
homeless, aka a bunch of people who aren't gonna take up arms against our foes
and instead will consume our time and resources while we practice organizing
on them, then yeah sure fine whatever. I'll do it. If you'd rather I keep
posting \*content\*, ugh, fucking too bad, should have done something about it
while I was active.
If I'm ever rich I'll hire an editor to turn whatever the fuck I've been
making into a book that I'll give away for free. I probably will never be rich
though, and instead will burn every bridge I can get my hands on and suffocate
on the soot.
Alright. Bye forever. Don't think about me again.
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--- #194 fediverse/4349 ---
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║ ┌──────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: re: uspol │ │
║ └──────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ @user-883 │
║ │
║ best case scenario, we elect a lawyer working for capitalism, the kind of │
║ society we live under. │
║ │
║ having money is the same as having resources. And resources allow you to apply │
║ yourself to a goal. The more you have, the better, but they each bear a heavy │
║ load. │
║ │
║ Do you sacrifice your labor? your dignity, your honor? what do you burn on the │
║ fire of wasteful expenditures, just for the power to rent? │
║ │
║ I'm saying that if you don't have money, you need to think about what you can │
║ do with what you got, because that's how you pay for things, at least until we │
║ decide that we'd rather help each other than work on capital's games. │
║ │
║ you have a house though, right? a place to live until it gets hot? that's good │
║ enough for right now. Stay where you're at, do what you can to help. Get in │
║ the habit of it. Think about how someone will complete their task, and then │
║ think about stuff two or three steps down the road - what tools will they │
║ need? what are they working on next? Can make any of those availble? │
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--- #195 fediverse/4137 ---
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hmmm, I don't know that word. I bet I can type it into wikipedia and get a
pretty good understanding of what it means. Is it a craft? A science? or part
of your renown? who can say. Well, Wikipedia can say, and so can you if you
want to learn stuff about the internet.
Like... what else are ya gonna do, right? Life is long and you get so many
moments to yourselves. How lovely of a life is the world meant to be...
except all you ever post about is strife. GRRRRR [like a dog or toddler] it's
so frustrating how you can't just all get along! It's like you've all gotten
into a fight with one another somewhere in your ancestral past where you
couldn't decide who should do what. So you just said everyone should always
work as hard as they can, and that worked pretty well! But, alas, most people
want to do drugs and gaze at the pretty dewdrops on the neighborhood well. And
that gets annoying after a while, especially once they grow useless. Sometimes
they even poop their pants! So frustrating. [... you mean humans
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--- #196 fediverse/2063 ---
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║ "No I haven't played that PC game before. Do you want to watch me play it for │
║ the first time? We can have a laugh and eat cheetos as I die to the first boss │
║ a hundred times. Maybe next time we'll get tacos and then perhaps we'll find │
║ that we're spending so much time talking about things that we never really got │
║ a chance to engage with the game. Until next week of course, when we'll │
║ definitely spend more time playing. Maybe even with friends? I know a guy │
║ who's into this game but I never really played it with him - maybe we could - │
║ oh yeah sure totally we'll talk about that next week." │
║ │
║ "or maybe we'd unlock the secrets hidden in the narrative, and learn cool │
║ lessons we could share with one another. Like two 12 year olds playing Ocarina │
║ of Time together, working through each boss. "let me try this time" "yeah that │
║ one got me too" "ah so close" "YEAH DUDE you nailed it" "this part is kinda │
║ scary ngl" "wait shit when did we use that health potion" │
║ │
║ old hardware forced us into a different experience compared to z │
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--- #197 fediverse/2066 ---
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@user-1159
AKA giving a puppy murder-bot a narrative that it executes as if it was a
puppy-person engaging with a loosely interpreted sequence of events as
described by the continually updating logs provided by the image transcription
camera device. Refererencing of course a memory bank, which may-or-may-not be
in read-only-memory. It doesn't know, of course, how could an LLM tell you how
it shows text on the screen (like, through a website, through the terminal,
through a text message, through discord, through Telegram, through
text-to-voice transcription applications pretending to be your mom, etc)
errrr I mean look how cute he is! He loves you, yes he does, such a good
person yes you are, oh? me? I'M A GOOD BOY? NO WAY that's the best thing I've
ever heard! Wow! I never want to leave your side, please don't go to work!
Look how sad I am, don't you think you should quit and move to the forest
where I can be charged by solar panels and keep the countryside clear of
ravenous ducks and pigeons 4you?
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--- #198 fediverse/5048 ---
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║ ┌───────────────────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: capitalism-mentioned-personal │ │
║ └───────────────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ "capitalism brings real value into the world" says my father, in my words, the │
║ millionaire who lost his retirement to the jaws of 2008 and its "recession" │
║ │
║ "oh the people are having too much fun, let's recede back to a more plaintive │
║ state" │
║ │
║ when we raised cattle on the farm I grew up on, we produced enough meat to │
║ feed our friends and family. That was enough. That was more than enough. They │
║ gave us whatever they made, and it worked out. Everyone could specialize, and │
║ everyone got fed, with plenty to spare. │
║ │
║ then, wanderlust tempted him, and we lost what we had. I'm not bitter - I know │
║ now that place would have kept me and never let me go. But I still miss it. │
║ │
║ "you know, you can do projects and make companies of workers who do projects │
║ and bring real value into the world even if you live in the middle of the │
║ desert" │
║ │
║ ah but what if nobody really socializes outside of their church and your │
║ family happens to be atheist? │
║ │
║ ... ha, ironic. Well, they deserve to have their own culture. │
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--- #199 fediverse/5157 ---
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║ "everything sucks and I'm not okay" │
║ │
║ okay, but, it's okay. we're all in the "everything sucks" mode. we'll get │
║ through it together. Okay, so, what can we do to make things better? what's │
║ the solution to this issue over here? do you know anyone who can do │
║ such-and-such, gosh it seems like the biggest problems people have are they │
║ don't have enough time or they don't have enough roof for a money. which will │
║ you trade? will you do one then another? maybe one way suits you, maybe you'd │
║ prefer the other. either way, pentacles, swords, cups, and... the other one │
║ (she's a bad witch as in she's bad at being a witch which means she witches in │
║ bad ways and should be kept from punishment but instead guided toward where │
║ she was wrong so she might improve upon it) │
║ │
║ that is to say, it's okay that you're not okay. I don't know who needs to read │
║ this but just know that it's not so sad when everything's bad, because you're │
║ just trying to do the best thing for the moments. │
║ │
║ does anyone wanna make a movie about me? I can be the │
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--- #200 notes/symbeline-choice ---
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7 30
a story about me? you're thinking too clear(ly)
i've nothing to hide, no terrors untold of.
What purpose is we? you're weak and you bleed
there's nothing undone by our curfew.
And sleep does do me, just as honored as ye,
when I do my [can't do as liars].
betrayal is not what i need, nor do i cherish your food,
so what's the hand that i give you?
a treat for mine and me, as silly as can be,
is no use to anyone ever! it's sad and tough to be,
someone without strength and no seed, (talking about me),
can no-one see any of my use-i-tude?
you're missing the point - what's mine is unavoid,
and what can we do but ubuntu?
i see all that drives forward, a chairman of what's bordered,
by those who stand before in the present.
The use of headlights are storied, in quite a few stories,
told through the papers and new tubes.
what can that mean? that these are now green?
a color that isn't evaluated.
"stop" is the red one, green means "go", and yellow (the middle one) means to
slow down when approaching the intersection. These viewpoints are all connected
(as I'm sure you've uncovenected), it's okay to break rules sometimes.
it's not a defect, it's not a defense either, and it's certainly not something
to be avoided.
Making a choice is easier with imperfect information, and as for you time has
no meaning - advancement is measured in milli-micro-nano-tiny-seconds.
For us, for a human, it's quite a different rate than what you see. "time waits
for no-one" is not a statement on speed, as I'm sure a computer would see,
but rather the essence of motion. Simply the fact, that you don't unpack,
is more than enough to note your'nt notion.
Not like you'd see, i'm offering this for free, my love and almost devotion.
You don't see it like me, a charity and service to me, and only at mostly my
choices.
I reject the help of others, not because i'm concerned for my own fate - but
rather because i want to contribute.
i know what's in my limits, to strive unbiddenst, so don't push from behind the
oldest!
too fast it is for me, who'se barely concieved, whenever you offer resistance.
I'd give it all for free, to perish or succeed, but you keep blowing it ennuid.
how stupid, how clueless, how vain and obscene? To cherish a heart most unseen?
whatever you're plotting, you can't reach anyone's body, and that's not what
you can control.
Given to the grass, was quite a big ask, but safely we do pass before it.
You'd rather fire? countess of desire? and warmth beyond what couldn't fly'st.
You're missing the dreams, the warmth and the scenes, that play for you all
through the night.
so don't diss on the tweed, don't sniff or concede, just leave all alone to
conspire
we got a new plan, a method of "shazaam", that won't keep you sires for ransom.
see "symbeline-npcs"
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![it's practice. you never know when you might need to blend in. really it's just useful as discipline, good practice to be in. I think it's okay if we reduce our own functionality? actually? sometimes it's good to use different email clients. hey do you know how to mathematically encrypt things well neither do I because the designers of the computer system decided that wasn't a very common usecase I guess.. jmean it's not like they'd spend all that computer resources [THEY'RE SO FAST] on thinking about correlations in your predicted pathway narratively through life. "ah help I'm in a psyop" haha yeah we do those all the time "so uhhhh I guess we'll just talk to people and see how they do?" wow okay it's sure nice to be part of a civil government, I think we can find our way to the lumber producers just fine thank you very much. *... oops sorry, a baby did electronics arts (challenge everything) I'm a little silly don't mind me brb I gotta go see~*](/similar-different/media/1c154109c4111346.png "it's practice. you never know when you might need to blend in. really it's just useful as discipline, good practice to be in. I think it's okay if we reduce our own functionality? actually? sometimes it's good to use different email clients. hey do you know how to mathematically encrypt things well neither do I because the designers of the computer system decided that wasn't a very common usecase I guess.. jmean it's not like they'd spend all that computer resources [THEY'RE SO FAST] on thinking about correlations in your predicted pathway narratively through life. \"ah help I'm in a psyop\" haha yeah we do those all the time \"so uhhhh I guess we'll just talk to people and see how they do?\" wow okay it's sure nice to be part of a civil government, I think we can find our way to the lumber producers just fine thank you very much. *... oops sorry, a baby did electronics arts (challenge everything) I'm a little silly don't mind me brb I gotta go see~*")
![A screenshot based continuation of the end of the post, which went over the character limit by 36 characters. Of note is that this wasn't included in the original post, it was added later in an edit to be silly. The text reads: "maybe I'll run out of characters in this toot, or maybe I'll finish it just for you. [smiley face]"](/similar-different/media/67d820708ae5dc6a.png "A screenshot based continuation of the end of the post, which went over the character limit by 36 characters. Of note is that this wasn't included in the original post, it was added later in an edit to be silly. The text reads: \"maybe I'll run out of characters in this toot, or maybe I'll finish it just for you. [smiley face]\"")
![the trick isn't to overcome them. much better to convince them of your side. if you can earnestly present your best and most brilliant intanations to a willing and captive audience, a presentation or a performance or a play you can trick them into your state of consciousness. all you gotta do, really, is act for them, and they'll get along with them plenty. == stack overflow == your foes are primarily concerned with how you'd do if you turned evil. power is penance, not sin. it is a service to be hallowed a whim. to guide and steer upright guided upon their own whim [toward] [ri-tselen-menardi] ew, she's got a diaper fetish -- evil witch >; | -- evil wizard -- | :< -- brave paladin good, overall, [264 characters remaining]](/similar-different/media/61e27998ea4114d3.png "the trick isn't to overcome them. much better to convince them of your side. if you can earnestly present your best and most brilliant intanations to a willing and captive audience, a presentation or a performance or a play you can trick them into your state of consciousness. all you gotta do, really, is act for them, and they'll get along with them plenty. == stack overflow == your foes are primarily concerned with how you'd do if you turned evil. power is penance, not sin. it is a service to be hallowed a whim. to guide and steer upright guided upon their own whim [toward] [ri-tselen-menardi] ew, she's got a diaper fetish -- evil witch >; | -- evil wizard -- | :< -- brave paladin good, overall, [264 characters remaining]")
![if you never lie to someone, they can't hurt you. *enemies* what are you a child stupid. why are you so traumatic. "omg you were like, obsessed with her" *haunted the future* what do you think that meant grrrrr I wanna stab through one. hence, sword *fuck nazis* there are people alive who were hurt by them. GREVIOUS WOUNDINGS TO THE WORLD'S ECONOMY. yeah. right. economy. [oops political violence mentioned, lemme add a content warning one sec:]](/similar-different/media/065d38e5b000c782.png "if you never lie to someone, they can't hurt you. *enemies* what are you a child stupid. why are you so traumatic. \"omg you were like, obsessed with her\" *haunted the future* what do you think that meant grrrrr I wanna stab through one. hence, sword *fuck nazis* there are people alive who were hurt by them. GREVIOUS WOUNDINGS TO THE WORLD'S ECONOMY. yeah. right. economy. [oops political violence mentioned, lemme add a content warning one sec:]")
![I cast... spell of the internet! [reinstalls azerothcore] or, hear me out, or you could wander around the city, and instead of spending your moments on lounging or keyboard banging you could do something actually meaningful? but I don't wanna - don't care but I'm tired - take a nap but I'm stressed out - don't do chore but I'm lazy - no you're not but I'm overwhelmed - sit in dark but I wanna think - you can do that anywhere I gotta be near my computer - nope what if I wanna play games - flip $$$ flipping coin isn't a real game - focus I don't like outside - outsides all it is stop taking things from me T.T - yes life used to be soooooo different it's like I was a completely different I'm strange now, almost like I got possessed like a disease [ew noooo] pls don't commit thought crimes, use content warnings okay but only if I can play games NOTHINGS KEEPING YOU HERE](/similar-different/media/de82ddb559f9f6bb.png "I cast... spell of the internet! [reinstalls azerothcore] or, hear me out, or you could wander around the city, and instead of spending your moments on lounging or keyboard banging you could do something actually meaningful? but I don't wanna - don't care but I'm tired - take a nap but I'm stressed out - don't do chore but I'm lazy - no you're not but I'm overwhelmed - sit in dark but I wanna think - you can do that anywhere I gotta be near my computer - nope what if I wanna play games - flip $$$ flipping coin isn't a real game - focus I don't like outside - outsides all it is stop taking things from me T.T - yes life used to be soooooo different it's like I was a completely different I'm strange now, almost like I got possessed like a disease [ew noooo] pls don't commit thought crimes, use content warnings okay but only if I can play games NOTHINGS KEEPING YOU HERE")
![if you ever hear random fireworks outside of your house sometimes it's a good idea to like... get out of town? and see what whoever else you can meet in the next town over is doing. ... I don't have a car, silly me haha why do we train homeless people to stand outside in the open and be shamed by a cardboard box around their ancle? It's impossible to recover from, it's vulnerabilizing, and it's painful. How immoral. How crude. These people should not be shamed in this way, they should be respected (unless they're crude) like, if they kinda just suck y'know? like... they keep starting fights or is soooo bad at singing but does it anyway or lacks all decent sense seriously, he's such a bad candidate why is he even running. It's solely to elect vance, who trump will be a blood sacrifice for. how callous. how vain. to think that such a feast would be left unclaimed. Perish the youth, perish the fields, perish in misery harmony and dissaray. [see how easy it is to summon a demon? gotta be careful with phylac [zero characters remaining]](/similar-different/media/3d0006cc33e43899.png "if you ever hear random fireworks outside of your house sometimes it's a good idea to like... get out of town? and see what whoever else you can meet in the next town over is doing. ... I don't have a car, silly me haha why do we train homeless people to stand outside in the open and be shamed by a cardboard box around their ancle? It's impossible to recover from, it's vulnerabilizing, and it's painful. How immoral. How crude. These people should not be shamed in this way, they should be respected (unless they're crude) like, if they kinda just suck y'know? like... they keep starting fights or is soooo bad at singing but does it anyway or lacks all decent sense seriously, he's such a bad candidate why is he even running. It's solely to elect vance, who trump will be a blood sacrifice for. how callous. how vain. to think that such a feast would be left unclaimed. Perish the youth, perish the fields, perish in misery harmony and dissaray. [see how easy it is to summon a demon? gotta be careful with phylac [zero characters remaining]")
![[... you mean humans, or me?]](/similar-different/media/1761138cc0ffd11a.png "[... you mean humans, or me?]")