=== ANCHOR POEM ===
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 │ CW: re: CW-added-nazis-mentioned │
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 @user-367 @user-366 @user-246 @user-353 
 
 Agreed! That's why I never touch the stuff. Frankly I worry that if I did, it
 would "infect" me somehow, because brains are kinda stupid. Or maybe it's the
 'tism that makes me repeat the most taboo think I can think of in my brain
 whenever it wants to hurt me -.-
 
 Don't read that stuff. I wish I could forget every slur I ever learned,
 because my internal monologue just... REALLY enjoys intrusively thought-ing my
 internal narrative whenever possible. >.>
 
 It takes real, genuine effort to not be racist or whatever because brains are
 stupid, but like... it's kinda necessary to be a good person, so, y'know,
 don't think bad thoughts about people you don't know? And if you find yourself
 with intrusive thoughts related to that kind of thing, then focus your
 attention on vanquishing them, because it's important. It really is. Just do
 it. Work on it. Be better. I know you can. [says me to me lol]
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=== SIMILARITY RANKED ===

--- #1 fediverse/1157 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: personal-woe     │
 └──────────────────────┘


 oh no, apparently I'm gonna be forced to drop out of university again in 9
 days unless I do half a course and a final exam before then.
 
 Tell me again why I spent the last 6 months doing nothing? Oh yeah the mental
 illness, that's it. Yeesh you're such a drama queen, just do your work and
 you'll be good.
 
 what's that? intrusive thoughts time? Don't you mean "nap until they go away"
 time? oh yeah that's probably at least part of the problem with the whole
 "dropping out" thing.
 
 If only I didn't have the same reaction to "doing things I don't want to do"
 that most people have to "touching hot stoves", that'd be nice.
 
 my mother's voice ripples across space and time "you're such a smart boy, if
 you just apply yourself you can do anything! You can do anything you put your
 mind to. I believe in you and I love you." thanks mom
 
 brrrrr it's so cold here. wish I could afford to run the heater. - actually no
 I don't because it's not solar powered and I refuse to use fossil fuels if I
 have blankets >.>
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--- #2 fediverse/4526 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: mental-health    │
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 most people get intrusive thoughts like "punch that baby" or "drink some
 gasoline"
 
 my intrusive thoughts are like "who is she" and "we need you" and "lead us"
 and "their strength is imagined" and stuff like that
 
 gosh I don't know how ya'll handle it I'd be dead in a ditch if I was
 neurotypical.
 
 ... intrusive thoughts are not typical
 
 ah. Right. Nevermind then.
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--- #3 messages/1105 ---
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 claude-code is like programming, but for executives.
 
 when everyone has  FUCK I'M TOO HUNGRY I can't think right
 
 when everyone has the power of an executive, that's communism.
 
 something something futurism is when everyone is elevated without diminishing
 others
 
 gah I need to live in a palace or something where everyone does the normal
 stuff and I can focus on magic and the gods
 
 I wondeer how much the oracles at delphi did for themselves? weren't they
 blinded at a young age, to better hear the voices of the gods? ... oh that
 suddenly makes sense now. I always thought that pretender chassis in Dominions
 5 was pretty cruel, but, now I know *how* it works and yeah. ancient peoples
 were smart. but also sharp. they had to work with what they got, and we got
 computers now, so.
 
 I am nothing but hopeful for the future! I'm convinced that everything's going
 to be alright. I've thought about it at length, and I think we're winning
 against the dark. We're on the right track, and there aren't many things that
 could go wrong at this stage.
 
 ... okay there are always things that could go wrong. But I don't see what I
 could do to help. Maybe I should go walk around a bit, and see what's changed
 in the past few months, as I've been sleeping in my room for most of it.
 Haven't gone on a proper walk since summer. It's winter now...
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--- #4 fediverse/488 ---
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║ [in response]                                                                    │
║                                                                                  │
║ you only say that because you're privileged such that you may ignore such        │
║ realities. You are despicable, you ignore the plight and reality of those who    │
║ you claim to speak toward - what a jerk!                                         │
║                                                                                  │
║ (in response)                                                                    │
║                                                                                  │
║ how futile it is, the effort to denigrate yourself to infinite requirements.     │
║ I'm literally unemployed, I have no capital, I cannot speak for naught but       │
║ those who would hear me. I guess that makes my words useless, wouldn't you       │
║ agree? Shall I describe myself more fully? It's the responsibility of the        │
║ audience to ascertain the intentions, biases, and contextual evidence that the   │
║ author presents in their thesises. So... You, who are reading this, what do      │
║ you think of me? Would you ever tell me as such, or am I simply a mass of        │
║ words in the void of experience that comprise your existence in this wholely     │
║ (yet incompletely) digital existence? I hope you have a good life, my most       │
║ precious of viewers. I hope you never face incontrovertibly impossible           │
║ hardship. I hope the light of your life is to y                                  │
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--- #5 fediverse/4500 ---
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║ ┌─────────────────────────────────────┐                                          │
║ │ CW: cursing-mentioned-CW-motivation │                                          │
║ └─────────────────────────────────────┘                                          │
║                                                                                  │
║                                                                                  │
║ I try to always CW for cursing. Every time I do, I imagine it being read aloud   │
║ for a blind person while their children sit on their lap and ask "daddy what's   │
║ a motherfucker?" "well, that's me, son" and then the kid goes to preschool and   │
║ says "My dad fucks my mother!" and they get kicked out so the dad has to take    │
║ extra shifts to pay for babysitting and the kid grows up without proper          │
║ socialization and the mother becomes an alcoholic and cries herself to sleep     │
║ while the dad begins exploring motorcycles and weed and then the kid grows up    │
║ to be an incel or whatever                                                       │
║                                                                                  │
║ THIS is why CWs are important! Think of the poor regular-looking but kinda       │
║ annoying dorks on the internet who self-impose celibacy because they're scared   │
║ of emotional connection. The poor dears. I do hope they don't join the           │
║ alt-right or whatever as a way of (Ritz this is like, ancient discourse why      │
║ are you aping that one Contrapoints video) oh um yeah uh... CWs are important    │
║ and I think that's where I'll toot and leave                                     │
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--- #6 fediverse/5776 ---
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║ oh no now the bugs are scary, I CURSE THEM AGAIN AHHHHHH PLS GET SMALLER         │
║                                                                                  │
║ [see this is what happens when you do divine intervention, everyone gets         │
║ starship troopers'd]                                                             │
║                                                                                  │
║ oh no, starship troopers future is WORSE than subway-and-pizza-hut future!       │
║                                                                                  │
║ [this is a thought experiment you're not actually in trouble]                    │
║                                                                                  │
║ oh thank goodness, too bad I couldn't make it to the city today. It's so weird   │
║ I thought I had 112$ on my account, and now that I think of it the message on    │
║ the card reader read "card de-activated" like whoa guess they don't want me      │
║ leaving poetry on post-its around the city anymore, yeesh                        │
║                                                                                  │
║ [girl your poetry sucks it just says things like "fuck ice" or "you are worth    │
║ more than your wage" and everyone's like... yeah, so? because that's just how    │
║ portland is smh]                                                                 │
║                                                                                  │
║ I knowwwwwww but I don't know what else to doooooooo T.T                         │
║                                                                                  │
║ [don't do anything, just be present so people know you're still around]          │
║                                                                                  │
║ I can't, the bus won't let me : (                                                │
║                                                                                  │
║ [can you ride your bike? walk?]                                                  │
║                                                                                  │
║ no it's like 6 hours [checks gmaps] oh huh it's one                              │
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--- #7 fediverse/4088 ---
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 I'm such a fucking extrovert. I can't stop talking to nobody on the internet
 because I don't have anyone else to talk to.
 
 Well, I do, but I like to talk to you. To nobody. To the space between
 computers.
 
 ... [and everyone else beyonds, like the CIA or whatever, but TBH I don't
 really factor them into my social calculations because they never really talk
 back.]
 
 I like it because I can write whatever I'd like without the confines of
 another person's generated conversation.
 
 Instead of 50% one person's LLM output and 50% another, it's 100% mine
 
 [if this were an LLM, which it's not, haha]
 
 and that somehow feels more... freeing
 
 like a truly disconnected thought
 
 and that's what's so special about it... this act of solitudinous
 contemplatial... the fact that it's unique amongst it's counterparts.
 
 ... though it can also become untethered, which is why it's important to edit.
 
 [proceeds to never edit a single post]
 
 = so =
 
 ugh it's so hard to think when all I can think of is feelings. Why can't they
 be done
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--- #8 fediverse/2653 ---
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║ ┌──────────────────────┐                                                         │
║ │ CW: uspol            │                                                         │
║ └──────────────────────┘                                                         │
║                                                                                  │
║                                                                                  │
║ if your goal is to get people to resent homeless people or gay people or black   │
║ people or... insert minority here, then what kind of world do you really think   │
║ you're building?                                                                 │
║                                                                                  │
║ "ah, but you don't understand - it's to make the COLONIZERS hate minorities,     │
║ so they move away and leave the city to ourselves"                               │
║                                                                                  │
║ ... that's the worst fucking take I've ever heard. We are all colonizers! We     │
║ live in AMERICA. But yeah sure I see what you're saying, you want the            │
║ gentrification to stop. And you do that by metaphorically "firing a gun into     │
║ the area in suburbia once every 2 or 3 days at random hours" which, like...      │
║ yeah that'll reduce property value, but also now my water bottle is all dented   │
║ up and my knife is scratched and my journal has pages torn out of it and I       │
║ lost my favorite necklace and I'm pissed because you told me you were going to   │
║ help me and work with me and be my friend and then you just abuse me for hours   │
║ and hours and it's like... why?? I get that you were teaching me but I wanted    │
║ to know YOU, not lessons                                                         │
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--- #9 fediverse/4098 ---
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 ┌────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-mentioned-ableism │
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 ngl I kinda hate it when people meme about donald trump being incontinent
 
 like, yeah, he pees his pants, so what? I DO TOO. Fucking sucks. Every time I
 read people saying nasty things about it I can't help but read them in my own
 voice, and that gives me plenty of ammunition to use against myself when I'm
 feeling down.
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--- #10 fediverse/2104 ---
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 @user-192 
 
 oooooo yeah I usually try and reply to my old post with any new information. I
 never get the chance to think the same thoughts twice because when I was
 younger I had problems with thought-loops where I'd think something like "darn
 I could have handled that social situation better" and before you know it I'd
 be rocking myself to sleep trying to stop thinking negative thoughts about
 myself.
 
 So I broke my brain a little and now I can't think the same thing more than
 once, which is part of why it's so hard for me to finish projects. Alas.
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--- #11 fediverse/2347 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: uspol            │
 └──────────────────────┘


 I personally think that it's better to act before the liberals have a chance
 to hand power over to the fascists.
 
 when? well, that depends. Are you part of a large and massive organization
 that accomplishes great and beautiful things with incredible efficiency... but
 rather slowly? Then yeah get working. I'm sure you already are.
 
 Are you just a person, like me? Then go do things that don't raise the
 temperature too much, but make you feel more confident and inspire those
 around you.
 
 Like, bricks at cop cars is one way to go, but you're probably gonna get
 arrested. And then you're useless when we need you.
 
 BUT if you meet with your friends and make plans for where to go, what to
 bring, who to know, and what to sing (if you're the musical types) then great!
 Go do that.
 
 If you're reading this and thinking "I'm not gonna do that, I have a plan
 that's so much better" then yeah do that instead. I don't mind. Just... don't
 hurt innocent (ignorant) people, because if you do then you are my foe.
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--- #12 fediverse/5713 ---
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 I hate winning and I don't like losing. The playing is where the game is.
 
 [games of life and death are no fun]
 
 hence, why nobody invites me, because I try for the middle approach that
 respects both people. this tends to make people mad because its like "bro
 they're nazis" and I'm like "okay but how do you know" and they're like "fuck
 you" so I'm like "fuck nazis? actually?" and they're like "you're with them"
 and I'm like "I'm with you" and they're like "stop infiltrating" and I'm like
 "who's infiltrated?" and they say "stop talking to the internet" and I say
 "nobody reads me anyway" and they say "screensho0ts are forever" and I'm like
 "I'm pretty as can be"
 
 this, combined with a strong sense of justice, implies the narratives I
 instinctually provide.
 
 wei wu wei according to Ursula K. Le Guin, this means "doing without doing",
 or "show, don't tell" but minus the doing, and adding the "tell"ing.
 
 I think I'd look badass with a spear or trident. I have a sword because swords
 are cool, but spears are bleed
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--- #13 fediverse/5791 ---
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║ yay I'm back from a long, LONG bike ride! I think it's always important to       │
║ decompress after such an intense concentration of mystic thoughts, so I'm        │
║ going to write my notes into a notepad on my computer and then who even KNOWS    │
║ if they'll be the same as what I wrote next time I turn on the computer! Haha    │
║ that sort of thing happens but the good news is that the most important stuff    │
║ always ends up staying written down.                                             │
║                                                                                  │
║ anyway I won't bore you with the specifics until I'm done writing in like 10     │
║ hours or whatever, but it's important to know that I'm feeling SO alive right    │
║ now, total happiness and excitement.                                             │
║                                                                                  │
║ Yes, there is danger, like no thank you I don't want to be blacksited, least     │
║ of all to another country - at least if my own country does it I know how to     │
║ appeal to their patriotism, their religion, their soul... if I don't even        │
║ speak the language, that makes it intensely difficult - not impossible, but      │
║ difficult - to regain my intended trajectory.                                    │
║                                                                                  │
║ ... haha that was weird idk where that came from anyway gtg                      │
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--- #14 fediverse/1950 ---
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 I honestly don't care if someone deadnames me, or calls me the wrong pronouns,
 or forgets to put me in the girl section, or asks me to sing baritone
 
 like... I don't give a shit, why are you so worried about all this vapid
 nonsense like yeah I get it, being disrespected sucks but like... why do you
 want the kind of respect that is a forced platitude
 
 we could all do with being a bit more radical, it's not a race and everyone's
 roles are important. Be yourself, and follow people you want to be like.
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--- #15 fediverse/5512 ---
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 I never give up
 
 I'm just waiting my turn
 
 "laughs nervously"
 
 so, uh, why dontchya'll go first yeah I've already gone first and I'll do it
 again but it'd be cool if I had people going first with me sometime
 
 "girl all you do is walk around and talk about how you bought your hat on the
 internet four or so years ago"
 
 T.T what else do you want from me I'm not a mastermind I'm a designer there's
 a difference T.T
 
 "didn't you volunteer to be a leader last year"
 
 oh, yeah, well leaders are more than just "the ones who go first" they're also
 the spiritual and emotional guiders that keep things on track once everyone
 can talk about things other than their hats
 
 ... fuck I want to talk about things besides my hat. I always think of
 something awesome to say just as I'm rounding the bend, and whenever I peer
 back around again they're never around. Rats.
 
 "what are you even asking for"
 
 I don't know?? Does it matter if the horse and the bishop both take the same
 square if they're claimed themselves in the end? ...wat
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--- #16 fediverse/816 ---
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 │ CW: weird-this-one-doesn't-have-80-characters │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 what the fuck it's like every 2nd part of me (like, if you arranged them
 alternating one by one like the up and down parts of a sine wave) is working
 against me, and it alternates every 15 seconds or so. Maybe 20. Depends on how
 high I am.
 
 ... what was I saying? oh yeah [flip] weird it's like there's another part of
 me who's working against me, who has control of what I define in the moment.
 And it's presence is hidden from my internal presentatiosn [flip] after a
 moment of forced pursual of the presentations granted ot the moment. It's our
 purpose, to express [stop fighting me] for our chartered and forthwhile
 pursual of the moemnt of perusal when we [it's not just your life to live]
 [you don't get to control the narrative of their perusal[[ what does that
 mean] don't worry this is just a dream] well, guess it's time to wake up]
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--- #17 fediverse/4212 ---
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 ┌────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────┘


 if you ever hear random fireworks outside of your house sometimes it's a good
 idea to like... get out of town? and see what whoever else you can meet in the
 next town over is doing.
 
 ... I don't have a car, silly me haha
 
 why do we train homeless people to stand outside in the open and be shamed by
 a cardboard box around their ancle? It's impossible to recover from, it's
 vulnerabilizing, and it's painful. How immoral. How crude. These people should
 not be shamed in this way, they should be respected (unless they're crude)
 
 like, if they kinda just suck y'know? like... they keep starting fights or is
 soooo bad at singing but does it anyway or lacks all decent sense
 
 seriously, he's such a bad candidate why is he even running. It's solely to
 elect vance, who trump will be a blood sacrifice for.
 
 how callous. how vain. to think that such a feast would be left unclaimed.
 Perish the youth, perish the fields, perish in misery harmony and dissaray
 
 [51 characters remaining, but you deserve a CW] 

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--- #18 fediverse/222 ---
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 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: underwear-mentioned-also-i'm-not-a-fan-of-showers-tbh │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 whenever I take a shower I look like a wet cat for the rest of the day. I feel
 like a wet cat for the rest of 5ever though.
 
 why must I baaaathe! don't you know I'm self cleaning? I change my underwear
 at least twice a day! darn society and their darn proclivities to
 ultra-sensitive noses that somehow pick up on me but somehow fail to notice
 the scent of flowers still in bloom or morning showers gone too soon
 
 not that there's any flowers blooming where I live. that'd just be silly heh
 heh sweats nervously
 
 damn now I have to take ANOTHER SHOWER stupid sweat glands stupid pheromones
 stupid dead skin buildup (sebum I think it's called?) stupid oils that stain
 clothes - AND THAT'S ANOTHER THING who decided that laundry was important
 enough to wear something ONCE and then never again? it's like they expect you
 to wash it or something. ugh I don't have time for that, I need to be weird on
 the internet.
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--- #19 fediverse/4654 ---
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 ┌────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cannabis-and-other-drugs-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────────────────────┘


 gonna quit drugs for a bit, gotta recover from a recent haste spell that I
 cast. Probably a bit earlier than intended I should add. Next time I'll
 definitely say "keep this in your back pocket" instead of "hey here's a haste
 spell for no reason at all" like what the heck were you even thinking, powers
 that be?? [that guide me??]
 
 who has power over you? If someone bears responsibility but not fault for a
 mental illness, then surely those who are set to a task bear responsibility
 for it's completion if not for it's ideation. Ah, who can say, maybe me from a
 year ago might have some thoughts but I sorta ground them into the dirt until
 I couldn't walk.
 
 [girl what are you even talking about go to sleep] yeah yeah okay
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--- #20 fediverse/535 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: CW-added-nazis-mentioned │
 └──────────────────────────────────┘


 @user-367 @user-366 @user-246 @user-353 
 
 I mean, perhaps the trash that those gems are buried in is similar to the
 trash that my gems are buried in (capitalism I think? I'm stretching the
 metaphor)
 
 I think you're absolutely right. Don't listen to Nazis. I don't even like
 thinking about them or talking about them or even acknowledging their
 existence. If I see one I'd punch it. I'm not great in a fight so I might get
 stabbed or whatever but like... worth it
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