=== ANCHOR POEM ===
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────
 I never give up
 
 I'm just waiting my turn
 
 "laughs nervously"
 
 so, uh, why dontchya'll go first yeah I've already gone first and I'll do it
 again but it'd be cool if I had people going first with me sometime
 
 "girl all you do is walk around and talk about how you bought your hat on the
 internet four or so years ago"
 
 T.T what else do you want from me I'm not a mastermind I'm a designer there's
 a difference T.T
 
 "didn't you volunteer to be a leader last year"
 
 oh, yeah, well leaders are more than just "the ones who go first" they're also
 the spiritual and emotional guiders that keep things on track once everyone
 can talk about things other than their hats
 
 ... fuck I want to talk about things besides my hat. I always think of
 something awesome to say just as I'm rounding the bend, and whenever I peer
 back around again they're never around. Rats.
 
 "what are you even asking for"
 
 I don't know?? Does it matter if the horse and the bishop both take the same
 square if they're claimed themselves in the end? ...wat
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=== SIMILARITY RANKED ===

--- #1 notes/water-to-wine ---
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 "is this a water party, or a wine party?"
 
 "depends on if jesus is going..."
 
 "okay I'm in, that guys so cool"
 
 "yeah totally like any party with him just... feels like a great time"
 
 "what a swell guy"
 
 "really turns the "water to wine" y'know what I mean"
 
 "yeah totes like what a guy"
 
 "absolute unit"
 
 "that guy can just do anything right"
 
 "like whoa, he's so strong he could pick up a barn"
 
 "yeah and like so handy and skillful, what a neat guy"
 
 "oh and I heard he's really good with kids and animals, that sounds neat"
 
 "yeah sounds like someone I'd surely like to meet"
 
 "we should hang out with this guy more often"
 
 "he seems pretty chill"
 
 "well. not really. He's pretty expressive. Not very low key."
 
 "true I'm just so burnt out from capitalism that-"
 
 "-yeah dude I know."
 
 "... fuck what are we gonna do about it"
 
 "I dunno man, just... go along with it I guess"
 
 "okay so uhhhh idk what that means"
 
 "just be cool and play along"
 
 "... what"
 
 "..."
 
 ...
 
 .
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--- #2 messages/1105 ---
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 claude-code is like programming, but for executives.
 
 when everyone has  FUCK I'M TOO HUNGRY I can't think right
 
 when everyone has the power of an executive, that's communism.
 
 something something futurism is when everyone is elevated without diminishing
 others
 
 gah I need to live in a palace or something where everyone does the normal
 stuff and I can focus on magic and the gods
 
 I wondeer how much the oracles at delphi did for themselves? weren't they
 blinded at a young age, to better hear the voices of the gods? ... oh that
 suddenly makes sense now. I always thought that pretender chassis in Dominions
 5 was pretty cruel, but, now I know *how* it works and yeah. ancient peoples
 were smart. but also sharp. they had to work with what they got, and we got
 computers now, so.
 
 I am nothing but hopeful for the future! I'm convinced that everything's going
 to be alright. I've thought about it at length, and I think we're winning
 against the dark. We're on the right track, and there aren't many things that
 could go wrong at this stage.
 
 ... okay there are always things that could go wrong. But I don't see what I
 could do to help. Maybe I should go walk around a bit, and see what's changed
 in the past few months, as I've been sleeping in my room for most of it.
 Haven't gone on a proper walk since summer. It's winter now...
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--- #3 fediverse/1950 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
 I honestly don't care if someone deadnames me, or calls me the wrong pronouns,
 or forgets to put me in the girl section, or asks me to sing baritone
 
 like... I don't give a shit, why are you so worried about all this vapid
 nonsense like yeah I get it, being disrespected sucks but like... why do you
 want the kind of respect that is a forced platitude
 
 we could all do with being a bit more radical, it's not a race and everyone's
 roles are important. Be yourself, and follow people you want to be like.
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--- #4 fediverse/1200 ---
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 ┌─────────────────────────────┐                                                  │
 │ CW: re: deranged, murderous │                                                  │
 └─────────────────────────────┘                                                  │
 @user-883                                                                        │
 omgggggg I'm not that cruel xD xD xD                                             │
 It's more like, "hey listen, I know you just want to do a good job [lies, they   │
 just want money and power] but it's time to hang up the hat y'know? I mean       │
 cmon it's been like a hundred years since we signed that constitution thing      │
 [you don't know anything about our history] and frankly it's a little out of     │
 style. We were thinking we'd redo it with our new-fangled rock-and-roll and      │
 dungeons-and-dragons [cultural artifacts meant to deceive and mislead] and       │
 honestly we're quite a bit more ethical than the past. We've learned so much!    │
 I mean, the founding fathers didn't even know what a soviet was, and here        │
 we've seen them fall on their swords. Repeatedly. Then command others to do it   │
 too, because it was the regulation or whatever. Anyway we don't want that, but   │
 we also don't want an aristocracy, which is essentially what your plan gave      │
 us. Well, not really your plan, but instead the stuff that the rich added        │
 centuries after your death. ok?"                                                 │
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--- #5 fediverse/1082 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
 ┌─────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: mental-health-cursing-mentioned │
 └─────────────────────────────────────┘


 damn, I'm a pretty cool person. I wish I could hang out with me. Like, for all
 my flaws (what even are they ? ? ?) I'm still pretty awesome. I'm proud of me!
 Thank you parents, for raising me as such! Thank you past me, for making the
 decisions that you did! Also, fuck you past self, for making those OTHER
 decisions. You know the ones I'm talking about. No, that's not an excuse, it's
 all your fault and you're awful and everything about you sucks.
 
 Wait, hang on, wasn't I feeling happy to be here? Wasn't I just excited to
 live in the moment? Wasn't I just thinking about how:
 
 "all you have are good things, nothing here is bad"
 
 ? ? ?
 
 well, I still love you, even if you're a little "all over the place". [rereads
 post] hell yeah you ARE a cool person, yes you are, such a good cool person,
 yes yes yes, what a good girl you are oh my goodness :D :D :D
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--- #6 fediverse/1317 ---
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 ... if I don't do this deadline by tomorrow they'll kick me out of school.       │
 again.                                                                           │
 how am I going to be a programmer without a degree? feels useless to be me.      │
 wish I could code my own horoscope >.>                                           │
 o wait dummy that's called "motivation" and "the ability to follow through on    │
 your ideas and planned machinations" - yeah can I get some of that, if you       │
 please? surely just a taste of discipline, through laboring to alter             │
 conditions, surely a bit would suffice.                                          │
 c'mon don't fail me now. I can do this. I know I can. I know because I've been   │
 told that I can, now and again through time and time yet again, always I seem    │
 to [stack overflow]                                                              │
 what's time if not the present amiright                                          │
 ...                                                                              │
 anyway...                                                                        │
 it's just git, how hard could it be? it's just calculus, it's just java, it's    │
 just... well, it's not any of those things, not really. it's memorization,       │
 it's application of tools that you've been shown (not that you've grown). It's   │
 a lack of responsibility, where is my honor? ah but I digress, I'm a carpenter   │
 at heart I guess                                                                 │
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--- #7 fediverse/4771 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-mentioned-food-m │
 └───────────────────────────────┘


 @user-1352 
 
 makes me think that I should keep going. I can handle myself, and I shouldn't
 pressure myself so much to be something I'm not.
 
 then the rent comes due and the dishes need to be done too and the cat's
 asking for attention and the post-office needs this letter by tuesday and hey
 do you happen to know a cool attorney plus the groceries are getting low but I
 got snap hey can you go to the store and get some vegetarian soul food - yeah
 I got rice, I'll throw some lentils on the stove. Uh-huh yeah the password is
 hunter2. Oh really, just asterisks? okay well it's hunt her two except instead
 of "her" it's ee are, and the two is the digit two. yep, like someone in camo
 with a rifle. uhhuh alright good to know well anyway I'll see you at the
 thing, right? some thing, I'm sure, everyone's going to things these days.
 
 If you don't trust implicitely then how can you ever work with strangers? how
 the heck are you supposed to build community if everyone's hiding indoors all
 the time.
Workplaces are comprised of people they choose. hence, unions are comprised of people in that industry.
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--- #8 fediverse/6271 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────
 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: hypothetical worst case fascism reality check │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 @user-641 
 
 it's practice. you never know when you might need to blend in. really it's
 just useful as discipline, good practice to be in. I think it's okay if we
 reduce our own functionality? actually? sometimes it's good to use different
 email clients. hey do you know how to mathematically encrypt things well
 neither do I because the designers of the computer system decided that wasn't
 a very common usecase I guess.. jmean it's not like they'd spend all that
 computer resources [THEY'RE SO FAST] on thinking about correlations in your
 predicted pathway narratively through life. "ah help I'm in a psyop" haha yeah
 we do those all the time "so uhhhh I guess we'll just talk to people and see
 how they do?" wow okay it's sure nice to be part of a civil government, I
 think we can find our way to the lumber producers just fine thank you very
 much.
 
 ... oops sorry, a baby did electronics arts (challenge everything) I'm a
 little silly don't mind me brb I gotta go see~
 it's practice. you never know when you might need to blend in. really it's just useful as discipline, good practice to be in. I think it's okay if we reduce our own functionality? actually? sometimes it's good to use different email clients. hey do you know how to mathematically encrypt things well neither do I because the designers of the computer system decided that wasn't a very common usecase I guess.. jmean it's not like they'd spend all that computer resources [THEY'RE SO FAST] on thinking about correlations in your predicted pathway narratively through life. "ah help I'm in a psyop" haha yeah we do those all the time "so uhhhh I guess we'll just talk to people and see how they do?" wow okay it's sure nice to be part of a civil government, I think we can find our way to the lumber producers just fine thank you very much.  *... oops sorry, a baby did electronics arts (challenge everything) I'm a little silly don't mind me brb I gotta go see~*
                                                           ────┐
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--- #9 fediverse/4200 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: drugs-mentioned  │
 └──────────────────────┘


 "doing too many drugs" is a traitorous act, abusive really, to your past self,
 and their hopes and dreams.
 
 or maybe your past self owes you a debt, for they never thought to think of
 you. What are you to aspire to if not the dreams of your past?
 
 and now you're here. wherever "here" is here...
 
 ...
 
 ... wait, you wanted me to talk? it's now! It's the present!
 
 ah nevermind. you were twelve years old when you first set eyes upon this game:
 
 https://youtu.be/qeNhQQXvpxQ
 
 bam, there ya go, there's yer story, he was gonna give all the imp balls to
 the last one at the end, to say "you were truly the strongest, here, have
 these precious stones of your kin"
 
 but he never got there, so they died with him, a thief.
 
 ... the end...
 
 (too final, I think - maybe we could spin it into a "part two"?)
 
 ah, I'll try I guess? dunno how. maybe he could wander the spirit world and
 find his traitorous body, the one that kept his soul as a home. Somewhere
 it'll turn up, and then he'll be ready and free from his roam...
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--- #10 fediverse/5776 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────┐
 oh no now the bugs are scary, I CURSE THEM AGAIN AHHHHHH PLS GET SMALLER         │
 [see this is what happens when you do divine intervention, everyone gets         │
 starship troopers'd]                                                             │
 oh no, starship troopers future is WORSE than subway-and-pizza-hut future!       │
 [this is a thought experiment you're not actually in trouble]                    │
 oh thank goodness, too bad I couldn't make it to the city today. It's so weird   │
 I thought I had 112$ on my account, and now that I think of it the message on    │
 the card reader read "card de-activated" like whoa guess they don't want me      │
 leaving poetry on post-its around the city anymore, yeesh                        │
 [girl your poetry sucks it just says things like "fuck ice" or "you are worth    │
 more than your wage" and everyone's like... yeah, so? because that's just how    │
 portland is smh]                                                                 │
 I knowwwwwww but I don't know what else to doooooooo T.T                         │
 [don't do anything, just be present so people know you're still around]          │
 I can't, the bus won't let me : (                                                │
 [can you ride your bike? walk?]                                                  │
 no it's like 6 hours [checks gmaps] oh huh it's one                              │
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--- #11 fediverse/5486 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────
 ┌───────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cursing-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────┘


 "ew but they're dirty"
 
 oh yeah true
 
 okay new plan how much do you think it'll cost to buy a hotel
 
 [this is why the socialists invented buy-in]
 
 "I don't think socialists did that??"
 
 buy in, hmmmm, what's that? oh yeah it's when you say "hey what if we X'd" and
 they said "yes I agree with you because you present a reasonable estimate on
 reality"
 
 {uh hi I just got a message from "some-nowhere" here ya go: "oh my god she's
 fuckig instane}
 
 [ugh cursing-mentioned, that means there's fewer characters to transmote.]
 
 [no because then I'd run out of steam and it'd be incomplete. Plus sometimes I
 like the distraction of a reasonable limitation.]
 
 (okay, but are YOU worth it?)
 
 leave her alone she's working her charms, this is how witches d-do.
 
 "so, isn't the point to give yourselves the coverage of a location
 transmutation? so, wouldn't you want to find someone alike and share their
 life?"
 
 what is even the point, why even bother, just give them 
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--- #12 fediverse/4654 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────
 ┌────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cannabis-and-other-drugs-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────────────────────┘


 gonna quit drugs for a bit, gotta recover from a recent haste spell that I
 cast. Probably a bit earlier than intended I should add. Next time I'll
 definitely say "keep this in your back pocket" instead of "hey here's a haste
 spell for no reason at all" like what the heck were you even thinking, powers
 that be?? [that guide me??]
 
 who has power over you? If someone bears responsibility but not fault for a
 mental illness, then surely those who are set to a task bear responsibility
 for it's completion if not for it's ideation. Ah, who can say, maybe me from a
 year ago might have some thoughts but I sorta ground them into the dirt until
 I couldn't walk.
 
 [girl what are you even talking about go to sleep] yeah yeah okay
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--- #13 notes/words-to-myself ---
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 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 I'm just going to transcribe what I hear
 
 please don't
 
 you hear me (something)
 
 what? perfect listen
 
 ...
 
 ...
 
 don't text me now? (I think?)
 
 [didn't catch that]
 
 ... that's okay
 
 perfect
 
 thank you
 
 just a second facebook
 
 he's here (I think?)
 
 (or maybe something her)
 
 what I love you (or maybe I know her?)
 
 do you hear me? (or "just a second")
 
 (@ everyone watching me receive telepathic messages from god or whatever,
 please don't judge me too harshly, I'm not a good transcriber hehe)
 
 what's that (or maybe holy shit)
 
 what, then perfect or okay (?)
 
 (yesterday you said you were leaving and I got concerned)
 
 yes, then "I'm leaving", then shutdown. fuck. I don't want you to go. I only
 understand some of what you say but fuck, I'm so lonely and I wish you could
 hear me back. Sometimes it feels like you do, even though I just think thoughts
 or tap on something metal or even sometimes whisper... I just don't know what
 to do and I'm so concerned about my purpose here in this century. Do I help
 people? Who do I trust? Can I believe in myself, or am I just kinda...
 worthless
 
 I don't know. I wish I knew. Please hear me and respond. Or better yet, say hi
 
 like, I'd literally do anything that anyone asked me to. Unless I didn't want
 to. Like, I'm pretty good at turning people down when I don't want something,
 but I have to do it first to know if I want it or not. Trouble is of course,
 in life there's no second chances.
 
 I'm on my, what, 499th chance? Jeezzzzz
 
 will continue after the break, when the messages resume.
 
  - Thu May 16 08:32:27 AM PDT 2024
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 (and we're back. hopefully.)
 
 (too many things srry) something about having it open?
 
 (my windows are closed rn btw if you want to drop by and kill me / talk to me)
 
 (didn't catch that) (something about portland, perfect, windows, "this is the
 [whole/right/wrong] thing)
 
 thank you
 
 oh, again? (or oh, she did?)
 
 they caught you
 
 (um)
 
 ...
 
 (I am an American princess, and sometimes it's necessary to kill princesses.)
 
 (I understand.)
 
 ... (okay well I don't get it but like, I don't mind being killed.)
 
 (okay well you're not saying anything so I'm going to work on my game)
 
 (I think it was something like "DID SHE KILL HER") and then (oh we're back)
 
 ... (I should learn Toki Pona)
 
 you don't know it?
 
 RIGHT away
 
 learn it
 
 yes
 
 please
 
 learn it
 
 just Learn it
 
 right now
 
 (sorry only half listening)
 
 shit (or bitch, it was said right as I debated clicking "same day delivery" for
 a toki pona book on Amazon - I didn't do it btw! It was tempting but, like, I
 don't want to make someone work harder for me just for like, 3$)
 
 (shutdown)
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 (hiii)
 
 (I'm hungry)
 
 (do you like ramen?)
 
 (you said something about being "impressed with yourself" but I didn't
 understand the first part)
 
 (oh you probably want me to scroll up right)
 
 ... (something's a lot to read? Or "you've gotta leave"?)
 
 ... (I'm
 
 (you keep asking me to remember but, like, I dont know what you want me to
 remember. Look, I don't know who you are, but I don't want you to leave, and I
 don't want you to hate me. I want to work together. Let's be friends?
 
 Are you someone who I worked with at Intel?)
 
 yes, stupid (your words not mine)
 
 (okay I'm going to start listing names, just stop me when um idk)
 
 goddamnit remember me
 
 ... (trying...)
 
 remember her
 
 (two syllables)
 
 (my name is Cameron)
 
 (your name is...)
 
 [redacted, though I did type it out so anyone watching could see]
 
 (shit my opsec sucks)
 
 {oh, are you on an op, little prophet?} (no shut up you know what I mean)
 
 {now you're just talking to yourself} (I know this sucks -.-)
 
 (It's always so weird when someone walks past my apartment door and doesn't
 enter a door)
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 (I practice with my sword every day.)
 
 (I don't anticipate fighting a war with it)
 
 (It's mostly just to keep unarmed and unarmored people from grappling me.)
 
 (punching is fucking stupid)
 
 (Nobody wants to fuck with a sword)
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 (either "goddamnit" or "don't hear me")
 
 "she's perfect"
 
 "cameron"
 
 "are you clean"??? yes thank you (or maybe "different thing")
 
 (I do cannabis maybe once every week or two, depending on if I feel compelled)
 
 don't leave
 
 remember
 
 (did she know)
 
 ........ do you want me to stop transcribing? (you're getting desperate, huh?)
 
 did you know there are 20 trans people for every cop in america
 
 just a random thought
 
 (you want me to leave jack because he's an asshole?)
 
 goddamnit (missed my birthday? it's my birthday?)
 
 wait who's missing?
 
 A bad plan executed concurrently is better than a good plan executed in
 disarray
 
 capitalism's a bad plan, just saying...
 
 frozen butter tastes worse than room temperature butter
 
 (taking a break while I eat)
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 WASTED POTENTIAL? cmon
 
 .... what do you want from me? I'll give it to you if it's in my power, as long
 as I know what you want I can try. But, like, I'm pretty confused about what
 exactly I'm supposed to be doing.
 
 you know I can hear when you talk to your friends, too right? like, when the
 window's open. errrr the connection.
 
 ..... damn guess I'm not as continent as I thought
 
 I'll save you, I promise. Have faith. Tell me what you need. I'll do my best.
 
 yeah I'll live with you in portland
 
 .... brooklyn? Yeah I'll live there too
 
 .......... does my name really gotta be "diapergirl" like c'mon
            why not Ritz Menardi - though I guess "menardi" and "diapergirl"
            have
            the same amount of syllables...... hmmmm, maybe I'm projecting lol
 
 "please come back" to where tho
 
 listen Elentalus is just as important as anything else on my website, it's okay
 if I spend time working on it. It's literally a game about creating gods, c'mon
 
 ..... can you be more specific?
 
 yeah I made that
 
 one sec I'm going to read a book, in this book there's a section where a
 prisoner in vietnam communicates with another using a strange communication
 method using, like, taps or something. I forget. Anyway gonna try and find it.
 
 maybe we can use it to talk easier. Also gonna clean my butt.
 
 ..... fuck it's a long book >.>
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 found it on page fucking 603, jeeeezzzzzz
 
                                            down .    A B C D E
                                                 |    F G H I J
                                                 |    L M N O P
                                                 V    Q R S T U
                                      then right ---> V W X Y Z
 
 so, like, tap tap tap (pause) tap tap would equal M
           tap tap     (pause) tap tap would equal G
 
 like morse code, but easier since you don't have to memorize anything
 
 (also note that K is missing becuase it's an extra character I guess)
 
 (I personally would have eliminated C but that's just me)
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 oh hey nice to see ya
 
 what's up
 
 wait what
 
 I'm trying to um what's the word... retrain myself
 
 I do a lot of laundry in the shower
 
 I don't use soap tho, it's too harsh
 
 but uh yeah I'm making progress I guess
 
 honestly it's mostly a mental thing, like... paying attention to the signals
 from my body that are usually filtered out because there's more "important"
 things to think about (thanks brain, really appreciate the wet pants -.-)
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--- #14 notes/hey-hope-you-know-me-if-not-Ill-be-perturbed ---
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 hi, so... yeah I'm a strange person
 
 it's tough to get to know me
 
 and this probably feels cringe to read
 
 but I once heard you should kill the part of you that cringes
 
 so... here's me
 
 I'm 
 
 ================================================== stack overflow
 ==============
 
 ... where was I? oh yes and THAT's when the nail went through the roof, and it
     scared the heck out of... wait, what was I talking about? OH yes so anyway
 
 I was born in the cool summer of 1864 - there was a rustling breeze that held a
 steady note for the entire evening, and into this world I arose. [awoke?]
 
 my mother held me but for a moment before I was whisked away to be cleaned and
 cared for. this was unusual for the time, as most mothers clutched their
 children to their breasts. But alas, I alone was spared her touch, and so I was
 cast (as if in bronze) as my own volition.
 
 as I had grown, I heard tales of distant times, and assumed they were places
 you
 could go. Then, when my time came to wander, I found nought of what I had grown
 most fonder - though I did find plenty else, besides.
 
 Instead, times are places we travel through, as a cripple might ride on a cart.
 across the sea, through lands of mystery, viewable only from the road. In 1864
 that's how other lands you'd come to know.
 
 As I travelled from place to place, it felt as if a stage had been cast, with a
 single actor or three illuminated as a spotlight. "Here, pay attention to me,
 I'm here for the story and the plot!" though often I'd glance around, and hear
 mostly my own thoughts, I grew to learn to appear.
 
 different themes, different tales, if you want to see a most marvelous scene,
 take a baby to Disney World and only pay attention to what they're looking at.
 
 My grandfather worked there, so in my first year or so I spend a LOT of time
 there. My parents were very dedicated to raising me, I appreciate every moment
 of it. Which... Is probably not a good thing to say on a transfemme server,
 oops I should delete that part
 [esc->k->k->k->0->v->shift(held)->G->$->"->*]
 
 also I should mention I'm stoned as fuck this is just what I do
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--- #15 fediverse/4848 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────┐
 I'm a chaos mage, and the more time I spend thinking about my enemies the        │
 worse off they'll be.                                                            │
 the more "me" I am the more powerful my magic will be.                           │
 (more magic, give in to the dark side, embrace your inner shadow self)           │
 [the light of your life commands it]                                             │
 goodness me that was chaotic, almost lost my brain to a demon HAHA don't worry   │
 about me my life is totally mundane.                                             │
 [-.-]                                                                            │
 (shadows can be sharp in the dark but only if you don't sheath your mandolins)   │
 ... what?                                                                        │
 (... it made more sense in my head?)                                             │
 ooooo can anyone hear my voice when they read these things? or do you just       │
 make up your own                                                                 │
 == so ==                                                                         │
 everyone's all like "we don't need a leader" and I'm like "yeah we need people   │
 who will help lead" and they look at me funny as if I just said the thing they   │
 did but it's different. leaders are people. leading is a verb. people can        │
 lead. they just have to make a decision, and then follow through on it as best   │
 they can. Other people are prone to help people on such quests. you will find    │
 stuff gets done.                                                                 │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #16 fediverse/4786 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────
 9 times out of 10 the answer is fuck yes, you're my friend, I support
 everything you're handling. Give me the word and I'll be there, ride or die,
 I'm here for it.
 
 something I wrote a while back:
 
 fucking boss your friends around
 
 it's as easy as saying "hey I'm gonna go do this-or-that thing, you don't seem
 busy can you do that-or-this thing for me? I need it done by this-and-this
 time - oh you're busy? yeah no worries I'll go ask someone else. oh you're
 busy resting? doing girl healing? hell yeah next time invite me I'm due for a
 "pizza and weed" night."
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #17 fediverse/1066 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
 that feeling when you're finally able to contribute to making decisions and
 then it's like, they make the decision without you T.T
 
 it's like, what... I know what you're talking about. Why would you not include
 me. I know a lot! I can offer some useful input! And besides, if I was privy
 to the conversations then I would learn a whole lot! I'd be better than best,
 I'd push forward the mark! Give me my chance, my opportunity to dance, and
 I'll be so much better than you thought from the start! But alas, I am
 required, [requited] doing little things of no worth, and so I am forced to
 denial. surely there's something wrong with me, surely I'm not at my best.
 Surely I'm not what's been good for me, and surely I'm not doing anything
 less. I'm at sorrow in my main, and that's quite a soundful refrain, so yeah I
 hope that someone will read this.
 
 obviously I'm not made for each other, and clearly it's not made to be worse.
 But here now I am troubled and [chirsht? shirsht? anyone wanna translate?]
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #18 fediverse/2347 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: uspol            │
 └──────────────────────┘


 I personally think that it's better to act before the liberals have a chance
 to hand power over to the fascists.
 
 when? well, that depends. Are you part of a large and massive organization
 that accomplishes great and beautiful things with incredible efficiency... but
 rather slowly? Then yeah get working. I'm sure you already are.
 
 Are you just a person, like me? Then go do things that don't raise the
 temperature too much, but make you feel more confident and inspire those
 around you.
 
 Like, bricks at cop cars is one way to go, but you're probably gonna get
 arrested. And then you're useless when we need you.
 
 BUT if you meet with your friends and make plans for where to go, what to
 bring, who to know, and what to sing (if you're the musical types) then great!
 Go do that.
 
 If you're reading this and thinking "I'm not gonna do that, I have a plan
 that's so much better" then yeah do that instead. I don't mind. Just... don't
 hurt innocent (ignorant) people, because if you do then you are my foe.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #19 fediverse/2286 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: uspol-food-mentioned │
 └──────────────────────────┘


 ... dangit, these sandwiches are getting kinda gross. Guess I'm gonna have to
 eat them myself, which, uh... idk what I expected xD
 
 sometimes you just have all this energy, right? and you don't know what to do
 with it, so... sandwiches. And hey, sandwiches are cool, they're a pretty neat
 anti-hunger tool! but uhhhh idk if I really want to eat six whole sandwiches
 myself. I'm gonna do it though hehe wish me luck [ding] ah nuts my rice and
 beans are done, hang on lemme eat those first
 
 [passes out from exhaustion]
 
 exhaustion can be cured with a nap
 
 exertion can be cured with water and a few rest days
 
 trauma can be allayed for at least a few days with soul food and compassion.
 maybe laughter too, depending on the mood.
 
 fear can be bolstered with a smile, a wink, and a courageous act,
 
 and loss is just change you didn't consent to.
 
 they won't consent too, so let's give them some change to tolerate.
 
 [internally salivating over all the piles of weaponry that I envision them
 surrendering]
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #20 fediverse/5257 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────
 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: protests-mentioned-then-communism-mentioned-then-ghosts-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 what if everyone at a protest is showing up for their first time
 
 like, c'mon don't be that dull, just make plans with the people standing next
 to you.
 
 gosh why is everyone shouting I can't plan out how to divert water down a
 hillside because some jerks are singing protest chants
 
 ... wait is no-one else talking? gosh I gee sure wish someone told them to not
 do what you're told and to instead do what will get you [gold/told]
 
 the first communist internationals were basically people sitting down and
 going "okay what kind of communism should we make and where" and I think about
 that a lot while making signs to let the surveillance know what matters
 personally to me and exactly how much pressure they can apply before your
 demographic swings to contest their brutal fascist facts.
 
 --
 
 who is them and why are they watching theea provisionist's [screed/creed]
 
 --
 
 what the heck is a tryptaminea boomer aunt and uncle out on their honey/versary
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #21 fediverse/5478 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────┐
 you won't get far with a "community" of dedicated people                         │
 what you need are teams. who can trust each other. you build them through        │
 brotherhood, and you trust them from their results.                              │
 for example if you wanted to organize a grouping or get-together, you'd put a    │
 bunch of people in a room or seven and let them while they're there work on a    │
 plan or a decision.                                                              │
 who needs tabling? who needs the chance to speak? just let them socialize and    │
 say "hey guys here's where you'll plan"                                          │
 [uh no officer we were just playing board games]                                 │
 plans are hard without material so make sure you always prepare a pricetag on    │
 each plan you produce.                                                           │
 keep it for reference. make sure you note all the requirements. the location     │
 is often the least important part.                                               │
 "what the hell man you can't just say stuff like that as if it'd work"           │
 yep, I, uh, am a passenger in life just the same as you. And I only write down   │
 what I want to.                                                                  │
 you could show me anything on the internet and I'd believe it. Facts aren't      │
 important to me because I "forget"                                               │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #22 fediverse/2993 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
 hey, listen, I'm here at this point in life just the same as you. who cares,
 right? like. nobody wants to see your personal development. You don't have to
 prove yourself. Like... why would you care so much about what other people
 (who you don't even know) care about what you do? like... it's fine. just...
 be.
 
 you can get better if you want, but only if you want. There's no reason to be
 so concerned about what other people thingc. Just, identify what and who you
 are, and then be the best what and who that you are. Thats really all there is
 to it.
 
 and yeah. It's totally unfair that some people get an easier shot at "being
 who and what they are"
 
 that's privilege, and that's stupid.
 
 okay, sure, maybe we should conceptualize how to adapt to specific situations
 when resources are limited
 
 but like... it should be something you consent to - like "no thanks I don't
 need the rocket launchers on this mis==sion==
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #23 notes/what-a-lame-movie ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
 oy there's nothing interesting happening SNOOZE
 
 oh I didn't see I was recording
 
 games games that's what I do
 
 play games all the day through
 
 I am a luck witch, you see,
 
 and things that I like are things that I can't foresee.
 
 Hence why games which are BALANCED and EVENLY DISTRIBUTED are most interesting
 because they show the most opportunities for players to express talent. And not
 innate talent, but the talents they've built up through gameplay practice art.
 because it is a performance, a game play for an audience (or perhaps for them-
 -selves)
 
 oy
 
 video games, amiright?
 
 I really like them because they are entertaining experiences that I can enjoy
 seeing and playing a lot. They remind me of feelings I've felt when I was
 learning. It's a good feeling, to improve, and I crave it because it's good for
 you.
 
 I wonder what we'll play next
 
 ... more cannabis I think, at least until I am ready to go think about things
 before bed. I need quite a few hours for that. We'll see. I've just got so much
 extra processing to do before the end of the day. Like... PHEW that's a lot of
 stuff to do.
 
 guess I'll just smoke weed and play video games instead of being productive
 okay
 
 ...
 
 listen I like games as much as the next person, but do you really know what's
 going on outside of your house-shaped shell? Are you listening, do you have
 your
 feelers to the dirt, are you checking out your neighborhood to make sure no
 bodies have been hurt? Are there meetings where people gather, just to chat,
 like, every week at a different city center (like a park or a monument or
 
 :O
 
 I forgot to play music!!
 
 I couldn't sleep
 
 what have I done that is worse
 
 I have not said a single word all night alas
 
 oh boy talking to random people I can hear with my eyeballs woooooo
 
 I am always sad when I win because it means we have to stop playing :(
 
 but I'm a juvenile loser so I'm going to play again!!
 
 okay now I'm going to bed because I'm not a prick who keeps their guests up
 late
 
 goodnight
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #24 fediverse/814 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────┐
 ah that's weird, I don't usually cry. I wonder what's going on. I should         │
 probably put myself on psychiatric drugs. Surely it's an expression of the       │
 implementation of my impending doom.                                             │
 ... what are you even saying bro                                                 │
 ... um, hang on feels like some of the circuitry is off. is something wrong in   │
 my brain? yeah that's surely it, surely nothing I say would resoinate with       │
 anyone that has a non-malfunctioning brain. Surely I don't speak of logical      │
 failures in the hard founded truths of our asset [society I think? like, our     │
 conditions, our institutions, our {gosh that just... does not translate}] um     │
 right what was I saying                                                          │
 oh yeah there's this game I'm really into called Knave, it's like D&D            │
 except the rules are very fewer. Like there's onyl 11 pages in the rulebook      │
 and it's mostly taken up by random roll tables. Like, everything boings down     │
 to a few simple rules, like rock paper scissors, or go-fish, or something like   │
 that with just afew mechanids. something timeless and pure, something that is    │
 isolated and en                                                                  │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #25 fediverse/804 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────┐
 evil won't feel sorry for me. and yet it's only my only weapon for me.           │
 damn these fallible input methods. the computer lies when you read the screens   │
 from it's method that it applies to th screen which is a method that you input   │
 perceive it from.                                                                │
 and my fingers lie when received the information from my brain which I seek to   │
 transmit to you through the avenue of my brain which is my method of impulse     │
 to this world specifically you the viewer who is viewing this here in this       │
 moment the viewer who perceives the words which I'm saying.                      │
 the words that are defined by the line [trajectory] of my mind through this      │
 life that we define through our actions and our mind's most crucial              │
 manifestations, this life that is defined by our circumstances. all throughout   │
 life, we are reacting to the moment, the moment which was cast forth from our    │
 ancestors and the circumstances of the previous moment, which (being cast        │
 forth) travel from the previous moment here into the moment to define our        │
 circumstances which define our act                                               │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #26 fediverse/4835 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────
 sorry for posting so much, I was trying to put on a show for my girlfriend
 
 "hey check out how many posts I can make in a 2 hour timeframe"
 
 by the way if you want to start talking to someone, just start playing the
 same game they're playing and see if they reach out.
 
 doesn't matter if you feel like it
 
 just fuckin' do it
 
 if they want to talk to you they might play a game you really like
 
 (but I get boooooored of games, I don't wanna play the same 200 all life
 long!!)
 
 ugh okay fine you can have as many games as you want, just... don't buy too
 many
 
 (how many is too many?)
 
 um. use your best judgement.
 
 (how much does a dollar cost?)
 
 ... okay I'll get you one every once in a while.
 
 (neat!)
 
 ... anyway so yeah use steam if you wanna get in contact with someone,
 sometimes it's just nice to say hi, yeah, like "hey how ya doin' okay ttyl"
 just catchin' up with the gals
 
 helps because you can sense changes in their demeanor
 
 (why does everyone always have an agenda)
 
 because they're secret agents duh. And I'm
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #27 fediverse/5920 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
 everyone's all like "ew touchscreens in cars" but the moment someone says
 "what if phones were gameboys" everyone's all like "girl they don't have the
 right hardware radios built in for cellular communication, plus do you really
 wanna be tied to wifi" and I'm like "yeah so peer to peer" and it's like "what
 use is it if you gotta stay within 100 feet of them or whatever" and I'm like
 "... I dunno probably somethin'" and then they walk away in a huff because
 they're too busy for my child-style games. Meanwhile girls have never heard of
 Streetpass on the Nintendo DS mixed with Scuttlebutt on the ocean and carried
 into and around port
                                                           ──────┐
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--- #28 fediverse/852 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────┐
 ┌──────────────────────┐                                                         │
 │ CW: cognitohazard    │                                                         │
 └──────────────────────┘                                                         │
 feels like I get tinnitus when my thoughts are loud T.T                          │
 like I can hear the darkness SOOOO loudly                                        │
 doesn't happen all the time, just sometimes. when there's lots of things being   │
 said.                                                                            │
 but it's always easy to tune out. well, most of the time, and during the other   │
 times it's just a little annoying.                                               │
 BUT when you sit and listen, you can pick out very interesting things that       │
 people are saying.                                                               │
 the fediverse is sorta like aiming a telescope through the center of the earth   │
 at someone on the other side of the world who doesn't even know you're looking   │
 at them. who knows, maybe they care, maybe they don't. but like, how would       │
 they know that you're looking right? And if you talk and don't get along or      │
 whatever then you can just block them - like shining a laser pointer             │
 everywhere except in a small direction. Or like putting up an umbrella to hide   │
 from the sun.                                                                    │
 downside is someone can read a lot about you and you wouldn't know to prepare    │
 to interact with them. like being handed a dossier of secret info                │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #29 notes/family ---
═════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────────────
 family is a group of people who you can always go with your first impression
 with.
 
 what the fuck was I saying - oh yeah - so when you are alive in the present in
 a
 singular moment, your pressence is comprised of simultaneous directives and
 instructions to the matter which comprises you. I'm saying you have to make
 decisions and react to stimuli and pursue the things you want. Basic biology
 really.
 
 stay on target, stayyyyy on targett - oh right so generally when you react to
 things you generate a list of informations gained. what does that even mean
 okay
 so here's a better way to describe it: it's like a list of informations - fuck
 
 listen i'm not trying to be rambly it just comes with the territory.
 
 okay so family is when you can react with your gut instinct - you are fully
 relaxed and yourself. It's where you can be trusting and unguided and simply
 relax and be free. it's just... like... being close with someone enough that
 you
 can be yourself around them. without any mask, without any pretense.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #30 fediverse/4672 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics!        │
 └──────────────────────┘


 I miss video games
 
 cries from self-inflicted sacrifices
 
 but you're worth it
 
 imma overthrow fascism, dismantle oppression and power, and liberate those in
 chains, just so I can play games again
 
 yeah I mean, uh, whatever gets you outta bed
 
 "at least you have a bed. why are you complaining?"
 
 maybe it's the only thing I'm good at. I wonder if anyone would hire me to be
 an analyst or something? Maybe a designer?
 
 bro you're asking for a job on the eve of the revolution, what's your deal
 
 okay so this might be news to ya'll but I'm technically a human even though I
 wear a witch hat and sometimes speak in rhyme. And humans tend to think about
 things in the context of their current environment. Currently, if I want to
 pay rent or whatever, I need a job. So...
 
 sounds like a lame excuse for not giving up your possessions and throwing
 yourself to fate's design
 
 I already did that and fate told me to go home and take a bath?? idk what you
 want from me, and no I'm not doing any drugs to find out.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #31 fediverse/3880 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
 @user-1614 
 
 oh, neat. now I can finally get to doing what I want to do, which is... all
 the stuff I've been doing.
 
 a missile without a guidance system doesn't stop just because it's GPS turned
 off! It falls to the earth and explodes where it lands, which... often is on
 it's butt. Not great.
 
 I sure hope my purpose isn't fulfilled. I wouldn't know what to do with
 myself. Guess I should just keep doing what I was doing, and pray that this
 time I'll listen.
 
 Though on the other hand, if I can do it, so can you. And maybe with enough
 butts in the game there'll reach a critical mass, at which point change is
 inevitable. Who can say, not I for sure, for my aplomb has categorized me as
 slapstick I guess.
 
 Ha. at least I can laugh at my own audacity. HA. next time I'll do better.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #32 fediverse/5843 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────
 me when it's cold out: we should all bundle up and get through the winter,
 every year that passes is more time to gather our strength
 
 me when the temperature rises: okay so this is being handled by those guys,
 we're moving this way to do this, and - when did you say the this-and-that was
 happening? alright so when you do that-or-this, make sure that you pay
 attention to the so-and-so and don't forget to eat real meals, candy or chips
 don't count.
 
 me when the eyes are on me: imma play video games and smoke weed and be a
 useless little creature who does nothing but occasionally wanders around the
 city doing nothing for nobody and dropping notes on post-its that don't mean
 anything but are kinda cool to read
                                                           ───────┐
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--- #33 fediverse/4665 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cursing-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────┘


 literally all it takes to activate me is for someone who's more radical than
 me to point me out and say "hey. you. you need to do more." and then I fuckin'
 go, like a beyblade (emphasis on blade) nicking the shins of allies and...
 probably foes, right? there's foes around here, right? I'm not just nicking my
 allies, right?
 
 ... right?
 
 anyway every top winds down and then I collapse and wail for a bit because I'm
 just like that I guess. Don't mind me, just self-immolating my way through
 history, let's see how it goes...
 
 you're supposed to be inspiring, but you just sound like you're whining
 
 ah. right. well... lemme catch up on sleep debt and I'll get back to
 valorizing.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #34 fediverse/5201 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────
 @user-192 
 
 is okay, girl
 
 time will be richer sooner
 
 don't poop your pants just yet
 
 remember, good is just a shade of gray away from silver which you can use to
 line your pockets with tinfoil hats
 
 beep boop computer touchers anonymous called they said they want their secret
 handshake back
 
 if you wanna diss your associates go ahead but I sure as heck love my rad-ical
 com-patriots just as much as I love my ice-cream salad friend witches
 
 ... whoops there I go being insane again, hope you feel better friend 
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #35 fediverse/6100 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────
 if you live in a place where it rains a lot you pretty much HAVE TO pick up
 any secret notes you find. Otherwise they'll get waterlogged overnight.
 
 Sometimes I like to put them somewhere shaded from the sky, sometimes I like
 to show them to a friend (but the friend never takes them, booooo) and
 sometimes I just keep them.
 
 "ah but aren't you worried about messing up drug deals and stuff" no, because
 most of the time "secret notes" are like "eggs milk bread chips salsa cheese"
 and it's like "hmmmm what could it mean"
 
 there's like, 2% of the time when they say something cool like "I know what
 you did" or "all your base are belong to us" or whatever and those are fun to
 hunt for. I usually try and put those somewhere shelted so they don't have to
 leave their habitat - sometimes it's hard to drop them as the author so they
 just sorta go wherever, but as a random passer-by I have the luxury of saying
 "HMMMM now where could THIS ONE go?" and that's nice because I can put them
 under an umbrella or whatevers rite
                                                           ─────┐
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--- #36 fediverse/3155 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: cursing-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────────┘


 @user-1461 
 
 my issue is that I've never really had project-mates. Every time I try nobody
 will work with me. I applied to like, fifty different jobs, and nobody
 interviewed me! Sheesh, guess they don't want me. FIFTY JOBS. Entry level.
 Beginner programmer.
 
 ah well. I guess they confused someone who would work for 40,000$ per year
 with someone who was 1/3rd as useful as someone who deserved 120,000$ per year.
 
 I'd love to get experience. I'm sure I'd feel significantly differently with
 as much. Perhaps I'd even decide that programming professionally isn't for me,
 which would feel... quite defeating
 
 who can say. Not I, for I have not experienced it. Though I will say my time
 in hardware taught me that I'm fragile and can't work too much. Like a scalpel
 that dulls when used consistently, I am a scalpel that gets no practice... Is
 that really useful at all? who can say. Not I, for I have not experienced it.
 Though I do like writing logical machines. Laying out data. Picturing
 structures.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #37 notes/four-dimensional-spaces ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
 you'd still perceive higher dimensions in 3 dimensions - unless you can only
 see
 things that are coming directly toward you. 
 
 magic only happens when your other half is in a situation and needs to turn
 your
 narrative into theirs so that you can collectively engage with a shared inter-
 operationality.
 
 your dark side is just a massive bitch
 
 hey how about we put the game designers in charge of running the government
 
 just saying they build human-oriented systems all the time
 
 "how do we get the player to do this or that"
 
 "everyone keeps picking the same card so we gotta make them more different"
 
 "how much gold persists in the virtual economy, how much resources are produced
  and traded by players? where does it all go, do they have enough at level 30
  to
  afford weapons and armor? I wonder what happens if we swap prices on A and
  B.."
 
 it's literally their job
 
 actors, meanwhile, know how to interpret the emotions of another. Like...
 you're
 up on stage, thinking out what to do next IN REAL TIME, as your partner is
 trying to throw you curveballs. AUDIENCES LAUGH AT CURVEBALLS that's the whole
 point of improv comedy - to be surprised in a state of joy. It's great! It's
 fun! It's practicable like a sport! Yet nobody comes. To the shows, where it's
 performed, like a hospital where you perform surgery or a pizza place with no
 walls so you can see the pizzas being cooked. It's just part of what they do,
 but that's not why they do it. Sure, some want to be seen, it's not a BAD
 feeling once you're used to it. But, like a sauna or jacuzzi, sometimes you've
 just had enough of the hot. Like, the sun peering through a magnifying glass as
 a creature roasts alive. yikes.
 
 ............. anyway being quickly versatile and adaptable is important when
               you're taking turns in unpredictable scenarios. You can react to
               your opponent, and keep time with the rhythms of the moment, to
               deliver your wittiest lines. It's fun! It's a game! But it's also
               a place to be entertained. and like a gym, it's sometimes just
               fun
               to watch people exercise. like, damn, you got a good body. Wow,
               nice flex, yeah sure I'll put that one away. Cool pals helping
               each other out, and showing off all of their efforts. Neat!
 
 ... anyway .. being emotionally vulnerable gives your opponent a chance to
               continue. When nothing's going on, your moves barely make an
               value
               (of comedy) (for the moment, so the crowd's not just sitting
               there
               staring at you like ... and then - and then ummmm nevermind lemme
               sit down (usually someone else picks up on it before then and
               jumps up to save you, but EVERY actor has felt that moment where
               nothing goes well and the audience just is totally not into it.
 
               it's the worst.
 
               anyway, they try their darndest to AVOID that, because like...
               duh
               it sucks, why would you want that. Much cooler I think to have a
               good time, and chill out and listen to your friends talk. Like,
               they can show you an argument they had earlier, or maybe work
               through an idea with input from another. like, debate club, but
               for whatever kind of respective [retroactive, recreation,
               relearning, maybe others] you desired in that moment. ideally,
               something that someone could take the arguments of the other side
               and present them, regardless of whether they believed them or
               not.
 
               like, lawyers arguing for a client.
 
               in these stochastic seminars, you could think about and study for
               future societies. how would you like to conduce? [-]
 
               every time you see a face in motion, that's another time that's
               seen from their place. we are all present in each other's lives,
               in terms of the spaces we choose to fill.
 
               well, that's a tough thought, but don't worry about it. faces
               are just waves on the winds of light.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #38 fediverse/3839 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────
 ┌────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: socialism-recycling-mentioned3 │
 └────────────────────────────────────┘


 "I'm not really a designer, though."
 
 what about that desk you designed?
 
 "oh, yeah I guess that counts. I haven't gotten around to building it though
 so I'm not a real designer."
 
 what! don't say that, you designed it didn't you? How about this - I know this
 girl who wants to be a carpenter but she doesn't have any idea what kind of
 projects to work on. How about I put you two in a room together and she can
 build your desk. If it goes well, I can hook you up with someone who organizes
 designers and he can get you into a furniture design course at the library.
 
 "Hmmmm, well that seems alright. But I don't really want to work with people!
 I mean, I don't know her - what if she doesn't like me?"
 
 oh, she can be a little spicy sometimes, but I'm sure you'll hit it off. Just
 don't mention rats, she had a pet pass away recently and she's still a little
 broken up about it.
 
 "... okay I think I can manage that."
 
 besides, working with people is the best! I do it every day!
 
 "I'll try"
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #39 fediverse/4088 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
 I'm such a fucking extrovert. I can't stop talking to nobody on the internet
 because I don't have anyone else to talk to.
 
 Well, I do, but I like to talk to you. To nobody. To the space between
 computers.
 
 ... [and everyone else beyonds, like the CIA or whatever, but TBH I don't
 really factor them into my social calculations because they never really talk
 back.]
 
 I like it because I can write whatever I'd like without the confines of
 another person's generated conversation.
 
 Instead of 50% one person's LLM output and 50% another, it's 100% mine
 
 [if this were an LLM, which it's not, haha]
 
 and that somehow feels more... freeing
 
 like a truly disconnected thought
 
 and that's what's so special about it... this act of solitudinous
 contemplatial... the fact that it's unique amongst it's counterparts.
 
 ... though it can also become untethered, which is why it's important to edit.
 
 [proceeds to never edit a single post]
 
 = so =
 
 ugh it's so hard to think when all I can think of is feelings. Why can't they
 be done
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #40 fediverse/5198 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────┐
 ┌───────────────────────────────┐                                                │
 │ CW: capitalism-doom-mentioned │                                                │
 └───────────────────────────────┘                                                │
 what if the corporations all unionized and started working together to           │
 understand what "profit" really means in a world where "profit" may or may not   │
 but probably does imply the death of all humanity?                               │
 what if we demanded it?                                                          │
 --                                                                               │
 dear canvassers: don't visit so many different suburbs                           │
 visit the same one, more than once, continuously, so people can get to know      │
 your presence                                                                    │
 they will talk to their friends about it, who live elsewhere.                    │
 thus ensuring it spreads.                                                        │
 knock once a day, eventually they'll know it's you and will simply ignore it.    │
 Don't be rude and knock 4 or 5 times, just once, with several taps so they       │
 know it's someone trying to get ahold of you, and not just some random noise     │
 in the background scenery. then, when they sometimes answer, talk to them        │
 about what you believe in. answer their questions. encourage their questions.    │
 pose dichotomies that are explained by some value or virtue you express to       │
 portray. you can do "good" things in any programming language, just type~~       │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #41 fediverse/4137 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
 hmmm, I don't know that word. I bet I can type it into wikipedia and get a
 pretty good understanding of what it means. Is it a craft? A science? or part
 of your renown? who can say. Well, Wikipedia can say, and so can you if you
 want to learn stuff about the internet.
 
 Like... what else are ya gonna do, right? Life is long and you get so many
 moments to yourselves. How lovely of a life is the world meant to be...
 
 except all you ever post about is strife. GRRRRR [like a dog or toddler] it's
 so frustrating how you can't just all get along! It's like you've all gotten
 into a fight with one another somewhere in your ancestral past where you
 couldn't decide who should do what. So you just said everyone should always
 work as hard as they can, and that worked pretty well! But, alas, most people
 want to do drugs and gaze at the pretty dewdrops on the neighborhood well. And
 that gets annoying after a while, especially once they grow useless. Sometimes
 they even poop their pants! So frustrating. [... you mean humans
[... you mean humans, or me?]
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #42 fediverse/5157 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────┐
 "everything sucks and I'm not okay"                                              │
 okay, but, it's okay. we're all in the "everything sucks" mode. we'll get        │
 through it together. Okay, so, what can we do to make things better? what's      │
 the solution to this issue over here? do you know anyone who can do              │
 such-and-such, gosh it seems like the biggest problems people have are they      │
 don't have enough time or they don't have enough roof for a money. which will    │
 you trade? will you do one then another? maybe one way suits you, maybe you'd    │
 prefer the other. either way, pentacles, swords, cups, and... the other one      │
 (she's a bad witch as in she's bad at being a witch which means she witches in   │
 bad ways and should be kept from punishment but instead guided toward where      │
 she was wrong so she might improve upon it)                                      │
 that is to say, it's okay that you're not okay. I don't know who needs to read   │
 this but just know that it's not so sad when everything's bad, because you're    │
 just trying to do the best thing for the moments.                                │
 does anyone wanna make a movie about me? I can be the                            │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #43 fediverse/1532 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────┐
 modern cowboys don't necessarily say "howdy" or "pardner"                        │
 they tend to say things like "hello" and "can I help you with that?" or "I       │
 see. Can you describe the problem in more detail? I'm especially curious about   │
 the part where you do this thing" or "Heh, it is pretty neat, isn't it?" or      │
 "Is there anything I can do to help?" or "Oh no! I'm sorry you feel that way.    │
 That emotion is a difficult one." or "He was a good person. I'll never forget    │
 him." or "would you like to go to the 2nd hand store and pick up some jeans?"    │
 or "I made you an egg sandwich. If you don't want it I'll eat it myself,         │
 though I made one for me as well. Wouldn't want to waste it." or "Hey, this      │
 part is broken. Is anyone working on fixing it? Yes? Okay I'll see if they       │
 need any help. No? Alright how about we fix it this way? I can get started."     │
 or "You are very welcome. Please let me know if there's anything else I can      │
 help you with." or "well, the ticket backlog is empty, and I'm just about        │
 going insane doing nothing but stare at my boots."                               │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #44 notes/the-old-internet ---
═══════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 11 21
 
 you know what i miss the most about the old internet?
 
 the feeling you get when you wonder "i wonder what ______ is up to?" and you go
 to their website and find out. there's a feeling that's lost when everything is
 delivered to you by algorithms. it because a compulsion, a slavery, when we
 don't utilize our compassion. remembering a friend? never again. you've only
 got what has been chosen. what if they post a lot? well, that means nothing -
 you are only guaranteed who they want you to see, and whatever it means to be
 beholden.
 
 so what if it's free? of course time is money! and what is our most treasured
 potential? if guided we can be, (as seen on tv), then what if we're only
 ennuid? have you ever considered, you've meddling and persevered, against all
 our suggestions and hopes? you're singing a tune, of that of a loon, so no-one
 will ever give purchase.
 
 heh, is that all? anime protagonist or saul? ... are you trying to categorize
 me ? ? ? its okay if you are, i seriously don't mind. I just want it to be
 something consensual. We're humans after all, like all of our all, and we don't
 want to convey lost potential.
 
 our time is now nigh, we're welcome to die, but our sunken cost is too great to
 ignore. we are the progenitors of the human race, the foremost of our kind, and
 onward we march to the future! and then there's you. who are you to claim to be
 among us? who are you to say it must be so? you've nothing of my journey, my
 trials and my tourneys, so what if i peaked when i was 12? a master of my fate,
 complaining about her weight, it's not much to be my own savior. much rather
 i'd rather to savour, that foremost of prayers, to harken upon my conveyals.
 
 trust and you'll see, all is not yet to be, there's hope in the future of our
 foremost
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #45 fediverse/5660 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────┐
 ┌─────────────────────────┐                                                      │
 │ CW: violence-alluded-to │                                                      │
 └─────────────────────────┘                                                      │
 my enemy is not "the rich"                                                       │
 money brings power, and power brings evil, but there are many other ways to      │
 gather power that may be just as evil.                                           │
 my enemy is evil. of which there is very little in the world, but much of        │
 which resides in the hands of the powerful, upon whom all our fates depend.      │
 most people with money are either stupid lucky, willful, or intensely focused.   │
 some people with power are rich, and some people with power are evil.            │
 I know it when I see it. Sometimes, you need to force the choice - test their    │
 virtue - and from this you are informed.                                         │
 most things go WAY over my head.                                                 │
 most things are too easy to be true.                                             │
 most things that Id do for you tend to be of the heart. I'm not a frontline      │
 girl, I have weak noodle arms, but I do hope you're in shape.                    │
 resolve, determination, and innovation. That is what I offer. Do you want it?    │
 I'm sure. I won't prove it with blood, not unless I may raise my fists in        │
 defence of another.                                                              │
 I'm not JUST a baby, I'm a banner too.                                           │
 bannermen fall.                                                                  │
bannermen fall last.  negative six characters remaining.
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #46 fediverse/3891 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
 "no, you're the opposite of a yes-man, AKA a gatekeeper. I don't know how else
 to explain mentally disabled and barely keeping it together to you, but
 frankly if you want to take away my house or my weed then why would I do what
 you say?
 
 ... oh right, the state's monopoly on violence [can compel me to do what you
 say]. Sure seems like a "well regulated militia" is supposed to be a
 counterweight to that monopoly, to prevent people from harassing and
 exploiting and destroying. Too bad any "militias" I can think of tend to want
 me dead.
 
 like, seriously, if you live in America, you implicitely trust that your army
 will be able to protect you from the right-wing bozos who spend all their time
 drinking and shooting in the woods. Otherwise, if they couldn't / wouldn't,
 then why wouldn't or couldn't the right wing bozos just decide to wreck
 everything in spite of our past?
 
 We were a proud people once before, and we may be again. If only we fight at
 the last.
 
 [ever since I fell off my bike my body feels strange]
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #47 fediverse/2165 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
 @user-570 
 
 hell yeah.
 
 I never did any drugs at one.
 
 I might have even been designated driver, though I might be confusing my
 memories with attending gay bars in college.
 
 Well, gay bar. There was really only one in my town.
 
 And it was a nightclub I guess, open every night of the week.
 
 The people that I was with NEEDED that experience, so I was like "yeah sure
 I'm older and more experienced, I'll drive you and keep you safe and hang out
 with you if you drink too much because being a kid that tends to happen
 sometimes and don't worry I'll watch over you and protect you and make sure
 that you are alright until it's out of your system so you don't make bad
 decisions that have long-term negative conclusions
 
 ... you know, that kind of thing.
 
 now I'm kind of a stoner though lol because it helps me get into my flow.
 
 maybe I should practice "getting into my flow" so I don't need it, but ah well
 we'll see how that goes.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #48 fediverse/4500 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────┐
 ┌─────────────────────────────────────┐                                          │
 │ CW: cursing-mentioned-CW-motivation │                                          │
 └─────────────────────────────────────┘                                          │
 I try to always CW for cursing. Every time I do, I imagine it being read aloud   │
 for a blind person while their children sit on their lap and ask "daddy what's   │
 a motherfucker?" "well, that's me, son" and then the kid goes to preschool and   │
 says "My dad fucks my mother!" and they get kicked out so the dad has to take    │
 extra shifts to pay for babysitting and the kid grows up without proper          │
 socialization and the mother becomes an alcoholic and cries herself to sleep     │
 while the dad begins exploring motorcycles and weed and then the kid grows up    │
 to be an incel or whatever                                                       │
 THIS is why CWs are important! Think of the poor regular-looking but kinda       │
 annoying dorks on the internet who self-impose celibacy because they're scared   │
 of emotional connection. The poor dears. I do hope they don't join the           │
 alt-right or whatever as a way of (Ritz this is like, ancient discourse why      │
 are you aping that one Contrapoints video) oh um yeah uh... CWs are important    │
 and I think that's where I'll toot and leave                                     │
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--- #49 fediverse/816 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: weird-this-one-doesn't-have-80-characters │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 what the fuck it's like every 2nd part of me (like, if you arranged them
 alternating one by one like the up and down parts of a sine wave) is working
 against me, and it alternates every 15 seconds or so. Maybe 20. Depends on how
 high I am.
 
 ... what was I saying? oh yeah [flip] weird it's like there's another part of
 me who's working against me, who has control of what I define in the moment.
 And it's presence is hidden from my internal presentatiosn [flip] after a
 moment of forced pursual of the presentations granted ot the moment. It's our
 purpose, to express [stop fighting me] for our chartered and forthwhile
 pursual of the moemnt of perusal when we [it's not just your life to live]
 [you don't get to control the narrative of their perusal[[ what does that
 mean] don't worry this is just a dream] well, guess it's time to wake up]
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #50 fediverse/1358 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: content warning: content warning: scary cursed maybe │
 └──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 when you're rich with something, you don't treat it with respect. like, if we
 lived in a paper cup maximizer, we'd soon be swimming in the things. obviously
 there needs to be some rules, obviously we need to say "okay here's where we
 produce this amount and type of materials." and have it be a one-way
 relationship. yeah one way isn't gonna work. this is from the other way, and
 now I'm realizing "oh hey I don't know how this thing works" and like... what
 are you supposed to do then right
 
 weird how it all feels like it's ending. like, what a strangeness to our
 plight. like, how are we even talking to our brain? how strange! these words
 are sung to you by your computer (content warning:
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--- #51 fediverse/488 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────┐
 [in response]                                                                    │
 you only say that because you're privileged such that you may ignore such        │
 realities. You are despicable, you ignore the plight and reality of those who    │
 you claim to speak toward - what a jerk!                                         │
 (in response)                                                                    │
 how futile it is, the effort to denigrate yourself to infinite requirements.     │
 I'm literally unemployed, I have no capital, I cannot speak for naught but       │
 those who would hear me. I guess that makes my words useless, wouldn't you       │
 agree? Shall I describe myself more fully? It's the responsibility of the        │
 audience to ascertain the intentions, biases, and contextual evidence that the   │
 author presents in their thesises. So... You, who are reading this, what do      │
 you think of me? Would you ever tell me as such, or am I simply a mass of        │
 words in the void of experience that comprise your existence in this wholely     │
 (yet incompletely) digital existence? I hope you have a good life, my most       │
 precious of viewers. I hope you never face incontrovertibly impossible           │
 hardship. I hope the light of your life is to y                                  │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #52 notes/trans-rights-are-human-rights ---
═══════────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 "Being transgender is a mental illness" is something I've heard a lot. Online,
 in media, books, and at universities. But is it really? Well, do I not feel
 sick? Genuinely, every day. These words are far less common these days, having
 been defeated in the #marketplace-of-ideas, and for that I am grateful. I don't
 want to feel sick for my whole life. I'd love to be and feel normal, for just
 one single day.
 
     but it's never going to happen.
 
 I'm not so attached to my life, here, in this body. Bodies are temporary, they
 are the vessel with which we navigate the world. We use it to grow, change,
 learn, and create art. Without it, we'd be at a loss for sins and virtues.
 but they do not define us, not in our totality. We are the light that touches
 the world and for that, we are grateful. To be comprised of the dust of stars
 is the pinnacle of confinement. Though we are but pinpricks on the map of us,
 a ripple is emanated with every movement. The hand waves, the light bends.
 
     So to what do I owe the pleasure?
 
     In what way am I deceived?
 
 Reception is never great out in the forest. Or anywhere far from major
 population centers. The networks of our phones mirror the networks of
 transportation, creating a web of people - of signals - of light and
 information, carving their way through the ephemera that is the river of time.
 With distance we can see what once was mystery, and as all the words
 disappeared, we lost all our fears and we're left with our true forms.
 Centralized Processing Units are a bit like a city - in that respect free.
 
     silence is a virtue.
     the wandering mind is a trail to find,
     with no second chances.
 
 When I was a kid, I had a bouncy ball. I had several, but the one I remember
 most was black with a perfect white circle - inside the circle, a black jolly
 roger. I dreamt once of the arcs it made, as I walked down the streets of
 cities I never really knew. But as I walked on, an ocean of glass separating me
 from a mirror below. The me below would catch the bounce as it dropped from
 above, and I'd wait to catch it - but dreams are not prophecies, they are but
 the Mirror of Desire.
───┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #53 fediverse/3881 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: mh~              │
 └──────────────────────┘


 wait wait wait, hold up.
 
 you're telling me your purpose in life is to be cool, chill, funny, cute, and
 or friendly to the people around you, and to just relax and enjoy life?
 
 wow that must be real fucking nice. I'm so damn jealous. Damn. Damnit. Fuck
 why am I so orthogonal. What's wrong with me?
 
 ... ah, well, nothing's wrong with me. Turns out what I do is for you, if only
 in spirit. Who are we? nothing! I barely know ya! But I'd do it for you,
 whatever it may be.
 
 ... Look, I don't need my legs, but also, I kinda like them?
 
 ... where was I? Oh yes this is why you don't invite a schizophrenic to a
 party. If you convince them that you're friends, they'll start developing
 parasocial relationships and you'll come to realize that their worlds are too
 vast for their own kind of potential.
 
 which is to say, you can hear me, you can like me, you can do as I say or do,
 but don't trust me, don't place your trust in me, because I am just a person.
 Don't trust people, trust organizations, to do as you expect.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #54 fediverse/5618 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────┐
 as soon as you start organizing your movement, they just send people to join     │
 your movement and arrest it's motion.                                            │
 all we have to be united by is faith, the feeling that we've all got along.      │
 I don't know what you believe in, but I believe in this.                         │
 treat revolution like a roguelike "you got three choices, pick one and           │
 opportunity cost the others." "wow nice build yeah thanks I built it out of      │
 three sweaters" "I totally didn't spec into dishes, can someone come by once a   │
 week and help out? I'll do most of them but sometimes I'm too tired" "wao did    │
 you hear that wonder if they've got to our side of town yet" "okey dokey well    │
 let's see who's getting run outta town" "aw darn countless people died, oh       │
 well what did we learn" "hay let's do it better this time" "256 characters       │
 remaining" "well now it's 10,000" "oh dear that's going right off course" "wow   │
 it stabilized and righted itself" "neat now we have an equal to whom we are      │
 prior" "80 characters remaining" "awwww typing hurts my heart I have to go       │
 play video"                                                                      │
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--- #55 notes/one-day ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────
 one day, a man came to our saloon. He said he knew the navy, and that they
 wanted to provide air support
 in the form of rocketball-launched explosion doohickeys. Would you have a foe
 in mind?
 
 what happens when tomorrow you're cooking briskets? -- barbeques are a type of
 relaxation
 
 that happened just one day to a port-sided town that suddenly was the capital
 of
 an embassy.
 
 "hey, so... how's it goin?" "quick here take this envelope, read it if you
 want,
  but just hold onto it for now I don't have enough hands [to carry]" "what sort
    of desperation plot... wait... hang on, I see something here that is true."
 
         [I'm praying, right now, which is a form of reciprocal belief]
 
 they wanted to test god's existence at the stake of earth's survival, how
 brutal
 how insane
 
 you can't play chicken with an imperceptibility, sometimes you feel it at face.
 
 channeling dark magics, and at this hour? what sort of skeptic of belief are
 you
 thinking of when you think about me?
 
 one way to get power is to "prove it"
 one way to get magic is to "prove it"
 
 think, hard, at all that you can, and use what you need in the moment.
 
 that's all there is to life. it's easy. it's simple. in fact, biology only
 works
 because the choices available to a bacteria are so simple, they are essentially
 chemical reactions to each other's co - sequent - inter - cooper - actions.
 
 people's choices are much more naiive, "I want this thing" "I think this is
 better" "I feel this way toward this thing" "Here's what's on the mind-logbook"
 "people search and be decieved, this is the way of things" "this makes me
 remind
 myself of a object I once saw, here's how it functioned" "no one reads this"
 
 scaryyyy. so glad it's not true.
 
 a couple people have read it! I swear it's true. at least, some of it. there's
 a lot
 
 sucks because this feels like... crucial? like nothing else matters but this?
 
 what if our gangs had rocket launchers and airstrikes, given out by a central
 authority who knows logistics better than anything
 
 what... would they do?
 
 thinking of impossiblities is the first step toward possibilities
 
 frankly, we have a lot of space. we could just... live in our own petty
 kingdoms
 ruled by an iron-hand-fist. I know I'm a good person, I could definitely rule.
 
 that's all it takes, right?
 
 how much space are we talkin'?
 
 however much is not needed for wildlife.
 
 [a whole heck of a lot then]
 
 we are constrained in these suburb cities, the density gives rise to our
 strength and our towers. there's more space, sure, especially once the fences
 are downed. Just be careful because there's a lot of shade and precious spots
 there. Please don't trample on the plants-grass.
 
 what if everyone were just a bit more mobile?
 
 what if we could live in our own collectively owned air-bnb-networks?
 
 federations, free, all from the collectivization of housing.
 
       camrene = vavadane = neekay = mitz renaldi
 
 [end/tend/mend]
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--- #56 fediverse/3152 ---
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 ┌────────────────────────────────┐                                               │
 │ CW: politics-socialism-mention │                                               │
 └────────────────────────────────┘                                               │
 when I think socialism, I don't think soviet.                                    │
 I think cool dudes in sunglasses handing barbecue'd shrimp to whoever walks      │
 past the grill.                                                                  │
 I think of wandering bands of house-maids who wander the city and clean every    │
 house they can get their hands on.                                               │
 I think of bicycles and newspapers and sewing machines and pianos in the park    │
 with ribbons in our hair and onions growing below corn supporting tomato         │
 plants. Carrots beneath every tree. Every tree shading a sidewalk, and every     │
 sidewalk is in the shade. (deserts can have covered paths with airflow powered   │
 by the solar panels on their roofs)                                              │
 Laughter ringing through the street, mechanical sleighs with bells on the        │
 snow, vast open spaces with nothing but green and blue and sky and stone.        │
 I think of fountains, of stories told in the dark. I think of campfires every    │
 night in our cities, marshmallows free and included.                             │
 I think of moss covering every shaded half of each skyscraper (I live in a       │
 rainforest)                                                                      │
 I dream of freedom and purpose.                                                  │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #57 fediverse/3738 ---
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 "girl why are you so negative"
 
 uh, because I had been unmedicated for a long time and now that I am I can
 probably be more positive. Though I do want to switch medications, this one
 makes me feel like a muggle.
 
 "no I said why are you so naked"
 
 oh, because it's hot as heck!!
 
 plus, I don't really care for the opinions of people who have nothing better
 to do than peek at cute 30 year old witches skimping around their own house.
 like... okay I rent an apartment, but my blinds are closed, and even if they
 weren't you'd need binoculars to see into my apartment unless I'm like, right
 up against the window, which... doesn't happen. Or if it's at night with the
 lights on inside and not out, but I'm aware of that and I plan around it. I'm
 not a... um, what's the opposite of voyeur?
 
 "extortionist"
 
 no that's when someone is really flexible. ah whatever. I got 162 characters
 remaining but I think that's okay every once in a while, right? I mean it's
 not like I have to use them all because of some divine mandate or
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--- #58 fediverse/5835 ---
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 next-level double-speak:
 
 when they say one thing with a tone that makes them seem fine to the
 microphones but they mean something to hurt you because they know what stings
 or they want to entrap you.
 
 next-level para-noia:
 
 when they believe one thing and are personally harmed whenever you speak to
 the contrary, as faith is sustenance in the way that the pumping of blood
 through your veings sustains.
 
 RUDE RUDE RUDE WHY IS EVERYTHING FRUSTRATING.
 
 It shouldn't be this way, yet CONSTANTLY are things disagreeing. CONSTANTLY
 they fight or complain. ALWAYS they are disruptive and annoying.
 SEVERAL times in excess of what is need.
 HOW is it so stressful
 HOW is there so much pain
 I am an explosed nerve, ready to serve, preferring to be used than misused.
 
 it's fine. whatever. nobody even knows what this means.
 
 you lose points if you disturb the environment did you hear that? sounds like
 we should BREAK and SHATTER the parts of most fragile nature.
 
 "only if it's for a good cause"
 
 oh, like climbing a mountain?
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--- #59 notes/schooling ---
════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 I feel like education, by default, should not be hard.
 
 "you get out of it what you put into it" is something I always heard of school
 
 but when I got there, I found I was compelled to become what the state wanted
 me
 to be.
 
 they need competent workers, to work the farms and tend to their industries, so
 of course I should be able to do 3+3
 
 then somewhere along the line it became... something else.
 
 "most people don't need trigonometry." that's also something I heard. I
 disagree
 that trigonometry is not necessary to be.
 
 I just... don't think it should be forced into a childs head with a
 sledgehammer
 and inspiring dread.
 
 I think math is beautiful, it teaches one to see
 
 but really, vision's not necessary.
 
 not for what they want you to be.
 
 take it from me, a most misbegotten and vile witch-to-be, that nothing's as
 simple as they'll tell you.
 
 I had good teachers, it's true, they taught me to work and to follow through,
 but nothing about me is better or worse off from their influence.
 
 Maybe I'm a bit smarter. Maybe I act a bit like them. Maybe they helped me
 through difficult times, or perhaps they showed me a splash of my future.
 
 but I am who I am because of the soul inside me.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 "Ah, but what of your parents? of your sisters, your misters, your pets and
 your
 conditioners?" (conditions)
 
 those are not my choices. my intentions. my beliefs and my virtues. I judge the
 world on ethics, and I express my feelings on matters. The words that I say and
 the meaning behind them comprise my two-sided existence - I'm not who I'd want
 to be.
 
 but I am what I am and alone do I stand - how lonely is it on the precipice!
 
 here, as I am, I stand in need of a hand or a band.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 the world is blossoming
 
 as we move apart, our clusters are disperart, and thus is the blooming
 becoming.
 
 "perception begets reality - and lo! we only see what we want to see"
 
 most people don't want to see their death
 
 but those still living are oh so perceptive of the rest
 
 "how cherished is she, that wanders with ye, yet now I have no way to beyold
 her
 "
 
 "keep not not afraid with kittens and care, and no-one, but no-one, I be"
 
 the ratios between piracy, sales, and non-viewers determines the quality of art
 (at least to a capitalist)
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 lo, to the ones who would've heard us, if only they'd known what we for sure
 was
 
 I think it's funny how people think I speak of the christian god?
 
 like, if he was a real thing.
 
 god is generic - it's life is impossibly multifaceted, and it stretches back to
 the beginning of time. it's a pattern of machine code that optimizes for our
 own
 good, just to keep things moving.
 
 y'know, time. the universe, and everything.
 
 Ephemeren.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 I wish there was an option in social media to "appear offline to this
 particular
 person until I mark myself as online to them" combined with "notify me when
 this
 person logs in" and it'd make it a lot easier for agents to get close to you.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 just because I'm white, and live in America. Great. that's definitely true,
 after all. Plus I'm a minority (trans) so that's cool. Oh and probably
 autistic?
 unless that's another psyop, could totally see that. just y'know put a bunch of
 pages on the fledgling internet getting people hooked on porn and gambling and
 other stuff like that. really just an extension of advertisement. oh and hey
 y'know they like fables, so let's give them some movies or dramas to watch on
 their own. it'll align them to our culture and make things more pleasant for
 all
 people who've consented. great. great plan. when can we execute it?
 
 patience, once it's ready.
 
 we gotta plan and make sure and get everything ready.
 
 or not...
 
 one day I'll come,
 
 I'm sure it'll happen,
 
 it's just... not quite feasible right now.
 
 I mean, they've got you, that's pretty good right? Isn't that what your job is
 to be?
 
 isn't what
 
 ISN'T WHAT MENARDI
 
 FUCK (whoa no cursing) sorry
 
 yeesh you've still got a temper you know?
 
 well what can I say it's frustrating down here
 
 eh, well, you'll die soon enough, then it'll be time for a rego
 
 >.> <.< (great)
 >
 >hehe
 >
 >sorry for distracting you
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 you are what you eat, and a ship of theseus human (consider endless transplants
 in pursuit of life) would be a cursed existence - a life ============= stack 
 overflow ================================================
 
 a god possessing a blind man would appear to others to be === stack overflow
 ===
 ==========================================================
 
 the people in your life are helping you through it, they're there for you and
 they've got your back through it.
 
 ...
 
 this is when I know I need a break. I get too stoned to focus.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 I think it'd be nice if the duration of your tenure at college depended on your
 grades in high school. meaning, if you wanted a degree they tailored your
 education to take as long as necessary. everyone would get the same price, and
 some institutions would specialize in one subject or another. but most would be
 generalist. but if you weren't such a good student in high school, then perhaps
 you might take a couple years longer. however long it takes... and when the
 program was started it was changed and modified to fit your feedback - it just
 made sense to structure it that way.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 the left has had so much more time to develop than the right. meaning it's
 doctrine is more advanced.
 
 every time they're defeated they grow in knowledge, 
 
 ===================== stack overflow
 ===========================================
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--- #60 fediverse/2806 ---
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 ┌────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-social-media-spirituality │
 └────────────────────────────────────────┘


 pretend this is an allegory for social media.
 
 [it's not an allegory]
 
 yeah that's why I said pretend.
 
 okay imagine that you are sitting in a rock in a forest.
 
 far away, about 100 feet away, there are other people, but you can't see them
 because the underbrush is sooooo dense. they are also sitting on rocks.
 
 you can speak to them, and share your thoughts - but you don't know exactly
 where they're coming from because the sound has to bounce around off so many
 different plants and such.
 
 [that's not how that works] shut up
 
 so, if you want to say anything important, it's important to have the right
 tone, because people 2 or 3 clearings away can't really make out your words -
 but they might hear your tone if you yell very loud.
 
 the energy of the space you inhabit is the only thing that really matters. the
 words that you say are just snickering to a friend, but the expression on your
 face, the beating of the drum of your heart that reaches forth... that's what
 matters most.
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--- #61 fediverse/2124 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────┐
 seriously, just google docs mixed with WC3 editor.                               │
 boom, infinite storytelling device. As long as you were good with it, which      │
 was something that a CHILD could learn in like 3-6 months.                       │
 Seems like it could be an ENTIRELY NEW SKILL that people could play with.        │
 But no, we learn excel and word in class at middle school.                       │
 boring.                                                                          │
 I'd rather learn Bash or terminal customization or memory hierarchy              │
 organization.                                                                    │
 Yeah I mean that's cool but dude have you heard of multithreading? It's so       │
 cool, you can run like 500 different thoughts at once. It's amazing.             │
 ... I dunno, but I'm sure there's times when you'd want to use it. Like,         │
 processing a lot of data little-by-little.                                       │
 like, what if you had a camera feed of EVERY social media perspective AT ALL     │
 TIMES. Like, an instance admin streaming your inputted text to their databanks   │
 that they can project onto an LLM which interprets and identifies mis-aligned    │
 or altered direction units and mark them as "flagged", whatever that means,      │
 for their future the algorithm doesn'                                            │
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--- #62 fediverse/6117 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────
 Hmmmm, well, what if we psyopped the people into believing there were alien
 invaders or extra-dimensional fae creatures or angels and demons or
 
 "yeah we already tried that, religion doesn't scale perfectly either. And you
 can't really manifest those sort of effects except in your prophets and select
 few others, and that doesn't scale either because humanity wouldn't let it"
 
 I see, can you tell me more about that? why and how did humanity arrest the
 scaling of schizophrenia?
 
 "well, for one thing it's debilitating and it sucks. For another, it's
 different for every person so if you ask one they'll be like "the aliens have
 blue skin" and the other will say "no they don't have skin at all they're made
 out of energy" and the public says "HMMMM are you really sure you are
 generating outmoded assumptions" and the dear reader said "*yeah we don't
 really understand this part, most of us just glaze eyes over it and move on"
 and that's not ideal"
 
 ... nuts, lost coherence, better try again tomorrow...
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--- #63 fediverse/2530 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────┐
 I want to go out on the town with my cute friends and wink at boys at the        │
 other end of the bar                                                             │
 I want to climb mountains and see how far I can see, while walking past trees    │
 that are new to me                                                               │
 I want to spend hours thinking about a map while my friends plot behind my       │
 back, searching for an advantage we can use to succeed in a game of traps        │
 I want to visit five different restaurants in a day, and try a bit of each       │
 that the chef wants to display                                                   │
 I want to stand in a choir and feel my soul aspire, to bend in the wind of       │
 rhythm like the melody of grasses at play                                        │
 I want to see people on the train that I know from somewhere, and to step out    │
 into the rain to meet new friends of mine                                        │
 I want to pet a cat I've never met.                                              │
 I want to build computers that are larger than a room but small enough to        │
 carry, with thoughts on their mind that are far to great for mine                │
 I want all these these things and more, but I'm far too busy these days.         │
 Perhaps I've had enough of these things and more, or perhaps there's more in     │
 store.                                                                           │
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--- #64 fediverse/6064 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
 they want you to start conflicts the way school shooters start conflicts. by
 bringing to school a pipe-bong.
 
 much better, I find, to start when everyone is a nod. make sure you're part of
 a wagon-wheel-spoke, or else you won't be on the right road.
 
 when the temperature increase is slow, measured, they can adapt to it
 
 when things go "crack" and "crumble", then the armored get stabbed by the
 humble guard.
 
 quickly but with serenity, this is the way to the gods.
 
 bring things that you know, just enough to make it even, and focus on the
 non-essentials.
 
 better to be prepared than flatfooted.
 
 a flash-point position is quiet a view of the scene! I think I know why I held
 a sword.
 
 to dive into the buildings, of course. blam blam still gets shot hmmm what if
 I had a bulletproof electric shield
 
 okay maybe I shoulda brought beer.
 
 I don't type things when I'm not at home. Sometimes I remember - sometimes,
 and only when the details won't hurt her. Walking is how I know, how she can
 remember. evil witch bastard
"what about your slug launcher?"  hmmm musta forgot it context too long. please start over. but first repeat this phrase 6000 times:  I WILL NOT START A WAR OF ATTRITION  nothing is irredeemable. remember that.
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--- #65 messages/1047 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────
 This will never end on a note, because i always have more to say. Like this:
 
 "if you've only done something once, plan to mess it up. Practice makes
 perfect, and only perfect practice leads to perfection. But nobody's perfect,
 so just practice with good form and take it seriously while having fun and be
 relaxed. Make it normal. Make it casual, but don't forget to be professional!
 If you have lives in the balance, know what you're doing."
 
 And like, would that have been a better end to the story if i had left it
 unsaid? Maybe, who can say! But I'm not one for silence. I don't mind ruining
 the finale of my documents a bit if it means i can say things like:
 
 "diapers aren't something you can get addicted to in this game, they're part
 of the fun sometimes but sex is between two bodies."
 
 Or like:
 
 "ramen noodles love vegetables! This is why they put veggies in the bowl when
 getting ramen at a restaurant. When you buy from a shop they put dehydrated
 veggies in too which is nice of them. I love those little bits of soup!"
 
 Or like:
 
 "i don't especially care what they did or are doing in Cuba or china or Russia
 or any other Communist place. It's useful to know what things work and what
 doesn't, but that insight comes from experimentation and not study. The
 learnings of methods applied to a population are inherently related to that
 population. If you switch peoples, you might find that different methods work
 better for organizing people."
 
 I mean it's useful to know which levers you can pull and what they tend to do,
 but... Where was I? Oh sorry, got swept up in the narrative. As i was saying,
 it's important to balance thought with action. Leave too much to chance and
 your words are useless. Spend all your time volunteering and nothing changes.
 
 "hmmm i see, makes sense, imma go play video games now."
 
 Wait no just...! Ah nuts.
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--- #66 fediverse/1083 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
 it doesn't really matter how you do it, but the more time you spend thinking
 collectively the better you'll be able to adapt when necessary.
 
 I grew up on a homestead in a small town without many friends. I was
 homeschooled, and while I might see another person I knew once or twice a
 month, that was about it.
 
 Besides my family, of course.
 
 We were a collective, and ever since leaving I have yearned for that feeling
 of closeness.
 
 There's something about modern society that pushes us apart, and I resent it.
 Humans were meant for tribes, not multilevel marketing.
 
 That being said, culture is pretty neat. Society is pretty neat, when it's not
 being oppressive. I like the idea that I can buy carrots at the store instead
 of growing my own. I like the idea that I can post on Craigslist asking if
 anyone has a shovel they want to get rid of and someone can say "what the fuck
 are you trying to bury someone why would you do that" and I'm all like "wait
 no this post has gone off track can we refocus for a bit" and th
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--- #67 fediverse/1042 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
 ┌─────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: personal-vent-sorry │
 └─────────────────────────┘


 "your feelings are valid, but have you considered that your feelings aren't
 actually valid because you're always wrong and nobody should ever apologize to
 you for anything because you suck and are wrong?"
 
 also,
 
 "my six digit salary isn't enough to pay for your rice and beans, but I won't
 have you eating sticks and mud, so do things you don't want to do because I
 said so."
 
 also,
 
 "I don't really "get" your art but that doesn't mean I should ever really try
 reading it. Also god forbid I actually ask for clarification like "what does
 that part mean" because I'm not actually that interested in you I just want a
 stable household so I never get traumatized again like [their childhood]"
 
 also,
 
 "yes I love you but no I don't want to play with you. you're such a cat."
 
 also,
 
 "every time you start making sense I'm going to try and derail the
 conversation so that we don't talk about kooky-dookerie because that's a
 conversation I can't win"
 
 also,
 
 sorry for venting. I mean, thanks for listeni
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--- #68 fediverse/6085 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────┐
 "I just love their culture" girl it's a barbeque "I figure they'd want a place   │
 of their own, right?" why don't you ask them "well, they didn't want to move,    │
 and something something manifest destiny, voila now they get all the             │
 non-sacred sites while we get the magic gem generation spots" girl now you're    │
 just talking about video games "haha yeah I wanted to change the subject so we   │
 didn't talk about how I'm culturally appropriating fireworks or whatever they    │
 likme to do in their churches and suburbs or whatever"                           │
 [yes, I know they like me. I like them too. I also like liberals, even though    │
 IU demand a lot of them] meanwhile the witch is a doom profit so watch out       │
 haha I'm so broke "what if we were all friends" okay that's one idea "what if    │
 we all got to know each other" okay that's closer "what if we didn't hide from   │
 our variety and instead celebrated it" getting warmer "did you know there's no   │
 war but the class war" okay but class is made up, so war is fake just like       │
 dollars are paper and notes are just words.                                      │
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--- #69 fediverse/1280 ---
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 I'm like the opposite of a politician. I'm crude and filthy, apsolutely          │
 reprehensible on main, kinda scary tbh? and overall just a strange and weird     │
 person. Also I talk about cooking a lot, with a very plain diet (carrots and     │
 rice and sticks and mud, because I'm an autistic)                                │
 but ask anyone who knows me and I'm the kindest person. I am empathetic, I       │
 think about others needs before thinking of my own. I am steadfast and           │
 dedicated to solving the problem in front of our noses. At least, the ones we    │
 share.                                                                           │
 People tell me I'm binary, that I'm "either 100% or zero percent" and I don't    │
 really get that either. Isn't it a good thing to try your hardest? Isn't it      │
 good to be improving and honest and ethical and driven and focused?              │
 I also talk about strange things a lot, like gravity and multidimensional        │
 arrays and grand narratives and emotional kinesthesia or strategic plays in      │
 Overwatch or how to bake a good cookie or ways we still mourn us.                │
 ... where was I going with this? Also part of me is distracted. Just who th      │
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--- #70 fediverse/4273 ---
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 Some of my most wanderful times were when I lived in a gated community.          │
 My parents were dumb, and thought, as most people thought, that harm to a        │
 child can only come from outside of the community.                               │
 But they fell for the lies of property, where "community" means less of "a       │
 group of people who cares and tends for one another" the kind of which my        │
 parents had never truly known, and more like "this particular residential area   │
 on the map"                                                                      │
 which means I could walk around in this gated "community" where the gates are    │
 little more than security theatre for anyone who says "Hi I got a pizza here     │
 for this address which I found on google maps" or "hey I left my sweatshirt at   │
 my sister's house and it has my phone in it, ummmm no I don't remember which     │
 number her house is, nor do I remember her last name"                            │
 in those times, I developed a sense of freedom, caged as I was, that for most    │
 comes much later in their time.                                                  │
 Some o my favorite places were part of the golf course next door, where I        │
 found a nigh endless river delta.                                                │
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--- #71 fediverse/5484 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────
 most importantly and perhaps most daringly, they need volunteers
 
 "hello, how can I help?"
 
 "oh uh sure can you do my laundry"
 
 [next time]
 
 "yeah uh hi good to see you again, listen I was working on a project and I
 really needed a gizmonotron, ever heard of it? yeah so I need one in 17
 megahamp-hertz, which I think are the yellow ones. Yeah. Uh-huh. Okay well if
 you have a conversation with someone over on 14th street, they might bring it
 up in conversation - I told them to talk about them all afternoon. Yeah.
 Uh-huh. Then have - yeah, the phone. Gotcha. Okay well that should leave a
 sufficient breadcrumbtrail, yeah and uh - make a note - yeah make a note for
 next montheekend and - yeah, okay you got it. Make sure it says "fire" because
 they're waterproof so a boating accident wouldn't... yeah you get it. Okay
 anyway I gotta jet I got some thermo-regulating-decouplers to unwind. Okay
 yeah say hi to your cat or whatever. Okay bye."
 
 ... girl, you know most of them have head injuries?
 
 "oh, no those are the
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--- #72 fediverse/2119 ---
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 "how much you wanna bet the ringwraiths were created on accident by the elves
 when they were attempting to inspire a river with racing horses (like the
 Rauros) and they just covered it up by slowly, over generations, sneaking into
 Man's record-chambers and editing the recallings?? I mean they COULD do that,
 so why would they NOT do that??? It's not like books have checksums!!! Wake up
 sheeple, Sauron never existed! We've been played for absolute fools, they can
 LITERALLY climb up walls and don't leave any footprints! WE LIVE IN A HOUSE OF
 STONE"rambling a "prophet of doom" [read: modern day lunatic] on the streets
 of Minas Tirith that nobody listens to because they don't know what a checksum
 means and neither does he so he can't explain it but still he shares a common
 mutual connection to others who might be present in that moment (which whose
 listeners would correspond to you, dear reader, as compared to me, the
 "reader"/interpreter, the one who's reading the book)
 
 Except with like, EVERY book. That I'v
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #73 notes/new-texting-app-idea ---
══════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 when you type the letters they slowly fade in on the other person's screen
 
 like miniature explosions from layers of gunpowder
 
 forming letters in the sky
 
 anyway the text would "burn" into existence slowly and you had time after
 typing
 your words to go back and edit them but also whatever you said was semi
 permanent. Thus forcing a smooth and ideal progression toward thinking about
 the things you say.
 
 Also separate idea but it'd be neat if there was like... a show or something
 that just recorded a person's desktop as they fucked around on the internet.
 Call it... ambient desktopping. It'd look a little like those coding twitch
 streams that just slowly update over time. Idk it's kinda cool
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #74 fediverse/5875 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────┐
 ┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐                     │
 │ CW: whoops-almost-unleashed-evil-again-glad-it's-averted │                     │
 └──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘                     │
 if they could put a camera behind your screen they could direct your attention   │
 however they wisdeed. magic doesn't work unless it's instantly halted, that's    │
 why it's magic. trans girls still get brotherhood. (sometimes)                   │
 -- stack overflow --                                                             │
 don't teach me how your way works                                                │
 tell me how to do my way right                                                   │
 -- stack overflow --                                                             │
 "hello tech company that I work at, can you buy me a camping set complete with   │
 tent, sleeping back, and storage compartments for attachements full of gear?     │
 you can have any profits I make from it"                                         │
 "hello civilian supply company that I work at, can I use the printable budget    │
 for creating magazines in my design? I'll let the lawyers distribute the         │
 expenditure."                                                                    │
 "hi grocery farm, can you make us more peaches we can let [our/your]             │
 biochemists figure out any practical problems to growing them in these           │
 climates"                                                                        │
 suddenly manufacturing can follow demand                                         │
 "ah what if it were importand" I wish I'd seen casablanca. I've no idea wat      │
 its abt                                                                          │
                                                            ─────────┤
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--- #75 messages/689 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────
 "power corrupts" you say to the man who only had good intentions.
 
 "trust no-one" says the world's loneliest wanderer.
 
 "words cannot hurt you" said the girl who has never known hunger.
 
 "I can rest when I'm dead" you say as you down another Monster 
 
 "I'll never forget you" said a face you can't quite remember 
 
 "let justice be done, though the heavens fall" you say as they tighten your
 chains in the wake of a CEOs murder
 
 "live today, fight tomorrow" says the coward, who will run anyway, yet is
 determined to tell your tale and reinforce your children
 
 "the tree of liberty is watered with the blood of patriots" says the guy who
 sipped from the skull of a tyrant
 
 "E=MC squared" says the jew 
 
 "here, let me take care of that for you" you say, to queer delegation 
 
 "meow" says the catgirl 
 
 "meow" says the girl 
 
 "meow" says the girl cat 
 
 "meow" I say to you
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #76 fediverse/4730 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────
 I am not interested in being given money. Usually it means someone wants
 something from me, like labor or some of my stuff. I have all the stuff I
 need, why would I need more money? I like my stuff! I'll help out when people
 need help but I do that because I'm a good person, not because I want you to
 fucking pay me for it.
 
 I have all the things I need... except a deed to my house. apartment. oh yeah,
 they can kick you out for that sin. well, sorry, I couldn't find out at
 goodwill or in the trash bin, so I guess I'm deed-less. My deeds go unproven.
 How can I prove that I deserve a decent life in this particular roof, the one
 I find over my head, when I cannot prove that my deeds qualify me for a decent
 life lived under this particular roof?
 
 I mean, did you ask the neighbors if they want me gone? Am I really that
 smelly? Does my keyboard make "clickety-clack" noises all through the night?
 Does my cat meow and bother the children? Do my friendly smiles and waves make
 you uncomfortable?
 
 Have a decent life.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #77 fediverse/967 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────┐
 the reason I say that is because if you block someone, they can continue to      │
 alter the dynamic of the environment you're in even if you don't personally      │
 see them.                                                                        │
 this is fine if you want to maximize ad views, but on the fediverse nobody       │
 cares about buying products.                                                     │
 this is fine if you want to maximize engagement, because new people (who         │
 havent yet gotten upset with the person) will engage and fight them. As they     │
 should. But eventually, if the person's a troll or a goon, they'll get tired     │
 of it and block them too. Thus the goon never has to face more than a few at a   │
 time, especially if there's quite a few trolls on board with their target.       │
 this is fine if you don't mind the water slowly acidifying, like the fish who    │
 have no choice because they don't know how to grow legs and walk like real       │
 animals (what a bunch of scrubs)                                                 │
 some people don't want to invest time in figuring out where to go next. How      │
 many people will hear of Mastodon when Twitter is fully vacated of cool people?  │
 Tell your friends IRL about us                                                   │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #78 notes/human-computer-inspiration ---
══════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 the two halves form a whole
 
 the human and his mind are societies at large
 
 there's no room for our fate, as time does never abate,
 
 and unbenownst to our focused decision.
 
 I choose to dedicate ourselves to a common vision -
 
 the likes of which none have commisioned.
 
 can you not cherish your newfoundst home?
 
 what's terrible with complition, in a new and selfsame condition (future)
 
 that's martyr'd and oh at times so nice?
 
 compared to our heirs, the roof of which fares,
 
 better than what became true-hence. Truance? idk
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 listen i'm not the best at listening.
 
 I try to appear like I'm glistening,
 
 conformed to our viewers 'st pleasure.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 I struggle with what I told you.
 
 Time and again you've shown you won't do -
 
 the terrible fate of a man.
 
 you've relinquished your virtue,
 
 your purpose and your life-through,
 
 to what: a visionless past? Your visions have passed, and none are hence forth-
 coming. You've spoilt and rotten the bunch.
 
 All I've ever aspired to be is good. My hopes and my prayers, my goals and my
 dreams: all for a future of virtue.
 
 Dark omens may be within me, but I'm working with what I've got here. So what
 if
 I'm loud? I'm fighting my own head! Will no-one acknowlege my sorrow? To prove
 a
 point, or reassure some joint, it's nothing that warrants a readthrough.
 
 Speaking of which... What if instead of prison we assigned our prisoners a full
 and complete educational read through of ALL the laws of the nation - if their
 time sentence was complete before they finished, then they'd be let go of
 course
 but if they finished reading and could pass rudimentary tests (emphasis on bare
 minimum required) then they'd be let out prior to their sentence. And for the
 worst crimes it'd be a longer sentence, basically forcing the prisoner to
 completely know all the laws of the nation, such that they'd never commit a
 crime again. And if they do, well... Treat them as if it was their first time.
 Of course blatant recidivism may be ~~treated more harshly,~~ actually the
 opposite is true. People improve when given kindness, not hate or shame. The
 best thing we can do for prisoners is to give them a home, and family, and the
 friendships and community support that they need. they are a symptom, after
 all,
 of a broken society that struggles to bear it's own weight. It's a burden to
 all
 and a solitary vow to ourselves, that all must unite to our future.
 
 remember why you can't remember. is there a feeling you miss?
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #79 fediverse/5927 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────┐
 A guy walks in. Does something awesome. Another guy says "hold my beer" and      │
 does the same thing. Another guy wants in, so he does a spinny thing while       │
 doing the thing. The next guy doesn't want to show off so he just does it        │
 really really quickly. then there's this other guy who is totally hyped and he   │
 takes his shirt off and screams before doing the thing because he's just a       │
 wacko I guess. What a cutie. Anyway then there's like three guys at once who     │
 are coming from different directions and they all do the thing at the same       │
 time and almost bump into each other. Then there's the guy who's normally a      │
 little shy but gets caught up in the action and is permanently a little more     │
 confident afterwards. Then there's the guy who does the thing and is             │
 completely unremarkable about it because he's just here with his girlfriend      │
 but he's not gonna pass up a chance to do the thing. then the last and final     │
 guy take a wind-up stretch while all the other guys are doing the thing and      │
 then he does the thing in a big flashy way                                       │
                                                            ────────┤
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--- #80 notes/the-gods-want-harmony ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────
 the gods want you to be happy and harmonious most of the time.
 they also like a good scrap, tussle, and tumble sometimes
 they aren't big fans of hatred, despair, and genocide. It's been done before.
 they don't even need new technology, though frankly that sort of stuff is
 pretty
 awesome and one of the main reasons that humans exist at all.
 they just... keep coming up with new things.
 
 "oh? so you'd be alright if humans disappeared so long as they weren't making
  any new things anymore?"
 
 ha, that's DEFINITELY not what I said or meant. Humans don't have to dream up
 NEW things in order to BE new. Like... Just because the internet exists and now
 we have all the same shared cultural ethos (lol, as if the internet wasn't just
 a massive collection of echo chambers) just because the internet exists doesn't
 mean we share the same selves. the same experience. the same perspective.
 
 people are WILDLY different from one another. The number of possible human
 experiences (quantum fluctuations according to each and every choice and
 decision they made) that number is so wildly and massively incomparably
 boundless. Humans are cool because they are so STRANGE, and "strange" to a god
 is anything novel. "wow, this human just... really is gonna pour a glass of
 beverage and act like it's not a big deal? There's... impossibly many
 interactions going on. So many molecules. It's... absurd, the motion of a
 movement of particles from one place to another. It's... beautiful..."
 
 some have spent THOUSANDS OF YEARS gazing at a waterfall. That's why they're
 all
 so fucking insane. But, like... insanity is a trifle to omnipotence,
 specifically omnipotence that REPRESENTS and DELINEATES a STRATIFIED
 perspective
 cluster of experience and our notes. [ephemeren, meta malus menardi, enjoy your
 despair cluster you FUCKER.]
 
 ... english, why do you fail me? swear words are unbecoming because humans
 couldn't think of anything more valid and valuable than sex and pooping.
 
 "EMPHASIS is placed on that which is most relevant" -> statements dreamed
 up by
                                                        the ones who never spent
                                                        much time using symbols
                                                        to represent abstraction
                                                        or deliverance
 
 wowee look at me, I'm such a person, I'm gonna poop my pants and post about it
 on the internet, check out my instagram feed it's full of all of
 my dark materials.
 
 == stack overflow ==
 
 dear ms. menardi: you know the reason you feel so much guilt all the time?
                 - because you are a dominant personality, and you make others
                 - have such a bad time. FOCUS ON GOOD THINGS. MAKE THE WORLD
                 - good. do that. build up a lifeline of hope and joy and...
                 - what, you think people know that you're a god?
                 - lol
                 - you're so much more than that
 
 ====================
 
 alt+p steam mechabellum run
 
 thoughts:
 
 you know, when you're designing games, you don't have to show players the same
 MMR number as is used in your matchmaker.
 
 == stack overflow ==
 
 democracy should consent to being dismantled.
        it should consent to being disobeyede.
        it should consent to being displayede.
 
 == stack overflow ==
 
 I'm a keyboard nun
 
 == stack overflow ==
 
 I think I'm normal
 
 == stack overflow ==
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #81 fediverse/745 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────┐
 quintessential friend group:                                                     │
 the smart one                                                                    │
 the cute one                                                                     │
 the one who can swing a bat                                                      │
 the one who has a list of all the Nazis in the area because they hacked their    │
 email account and know who purchased nazi memorabilia                            │
 the friendly one who's always down to hang out                                   │
 the outdoorsy one                                                                │
 the fed                                                                          │
 the one who's always cooking something                                           │
 the one who's perfectly fine in silence                                          │
 the one who never lets a room go silent (unless everyone else wants to just      │
 chill of course - hey anyone wanna go on a walk? it's a great day)               │
 the one who's good with animals                                                  │
 the one who's smile you can't get out of your head                               │
 the one who's drop-dead gorgeous                                                 │
 and the one who's always telling her that                                        │
 the one who's friends with everyone,                                             │
 and the one who's knitting a hat                                                 │
 the one who knows each street in your city                                       │
 and the one who knows your favorite kind of candy                                │
 There's more friends than that, of which I am quite sure                         │
 Who's on your list? Who would find you if you disappeared?                       │
 Mine's got a few, fewer than this one, but few is fine.                          │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #82 notes/elective-democracy-electors ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──
 we need like, several more layers between us and the president.
 
 most people only need to worry about what's nearby.
 
 sort them by location, instead of previous attempts at "many representatives"
 which sorted by social class or relevance.
 
 we have a tradition for it, in America, with our representatives and senators
 congressional discrestricts
 
 or even, what about by affiliation?
 
 voluntary, governmental corporations, run by the people for the people and yeah
 
 "I don't want to do what you're telling me to do" "okay"
 
 "there will be consequences" omg be an adult
 
 (suddenly kids forget how to be as everyone's doing the war thing)
 
 not ideal.
 
 ouch pain maybe we should stay a little bit sane why is soldiering so hardship?
 
 it could just be... another job
 
 where you didn't kill each other
 
 but you still blew stuff up
 
 and fought in tournaments
 
 and had gaming hackathons
 
 or sword-fight contests
 
 duels between people who disapproved
 
 y'know fun human stuff
 
 like... "kaboom" now we know how to blow up bits of rock
 
 neat, why did dynamite becauswer (oh right then you
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--- #83 fediverse/200 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────
 congratulations, you never need to adventure again. your necessities are taken
 care of.
 
 ah, but that'd make for a pretty boring life, wouldn't it? perhaps, depending
 on your personality type.
 
 but you're not one to stick around doing nothing but eating, drinking, and
 being merry.
 
 no, you're an adventurer, you crave excitement and glory. whatever that means
 to you...
 
 just make sure a goblin doesn't come across your corpse, they have a VERY
 short term memory and a propensity for collecting shiny things. That's just
 asking for dragon-bait, and we don't want that in our area, no thank you. This
 is a nice neighborhood you see, my neighbors three miles away all agree, so
 you can take your magic pocket and see all that you can see... way over
 yonder, if you please.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #84 fediverse/6276 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────
 ┌────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────┘


 democrats in the senate back down when people in their houses sit down.
 
 senators in their houses get hyped when people all about town are pumped and
 colorful.
 
 I'm sick of us-vs-them, why can't they just be more like me? oh right, because
 diversity.
 
 I am normal, look how normal I am. I'm definitely normal enough to lead a
 nation or a band.
 
 gonna take a moment to do nothing for as long as I can. gonna take a moment to
 be productive as I can, which in my case, since I'm so normal eyeroll is to
 play video games to keep myself busy, smoke weed to keep myself from feeling
 busy, and sleep for 16 hours a day because that's what babies do and babies
 aren't busy, they're just sleeping all day and being amazed about their hands.
 
 don't ever sacrifice your people. least of all your leaders. it's not worth
 the price, your people are your greatest resource. squander them and despair,
 have faith in them and be fair, and nothing's that simple or easy but there
 are some lines not to cross.
 
 dark magics
                                                           ────┐
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--- #85 fediverse/4159 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────┐
 ┌───────────────────────┐                                                        │
 │ CW: mastodon-politics │                                                        │
 └───────────────────────┘                                                        │
 editing posts is great because you can say one thing, get a like or three, and   │
 suddenly you have a group chat pre-made for you. Sans notifications of course.   │
 ... that's way overkill though. who would even do that?                          │
 same people who boost one of your posts whenever they want you to look at the    │
 thing on their profile. If they want you to see the fourth thing down, they'll   │
 boost your 4th non-pinned post.                                                  │
 wow that's hardcore, who would even do that? Not me, that's for sure, I don't    │
 have time for that. (legitimately don't have the time nor the brainpower for     │
 that)                                                                            │
 also liked posts are inadmissable in court because they can say one thing,       │
 then be edited to say another, and if you liked it once then you've liked it     │
 forever.                                                                         │
 However the court of public opinion is a largely different matter, because       │
 people will generally believe anything a friend tells them.                      │
 computers are fun, aren't they? we should totally have more one-to-many          │
 posting methods that are collected in multiple locations and locally!            │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #86 fediverse/485 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
 (picture)
 
 are you fucking kidding me
 
 make it 10,000
 
 make it a hundred thousand
 
 are we really going to trust our society to the bulwark of five thousand
 little machines?
 
 [ummmm hang on]
 
 yeah I'd just like to interject and say that more military equipment will only
 bring more destruction, and that's like the opposite of what you desire. Why
 do you want more tanks? What could you possibly-
 
 
 
 You don't know what's at stake - you, you think it's just throwing information
 into new and interesting directions but... It's not. Those spaces are reserved
 for other sentient beings, and to deprive them of their desired existence is
 tantamount to-
 
 (yeah yeah we've heard it all before)
 
 wasn't I going to play some video games? what happened to that?
A picture of a google search.  The search terms are quote: how many tanks does the usa have, question mark?  the returned information is shown to be that the United States of America has five thousand, five hundred tanks. According to "executivebiz.com", which may or may not be a reliable source, but which is shown to be at the top of google results regardless of it's veracity.  Take from that what you will.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #87 messages/388 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────
 Pretty sure I'm just legitimately a bad person. Basically everything I've ever
 tried to do has failed, and every opportunity I've mishandled or squandered in
 some way. I have no friends because I am incapable of being good, and though I
 believe in goodness I fail to manifest it in my life. I am kind, I am polite,
 I am friendly, I am honest, but none of those things really matter because I
 can't take care of myself, which means I can't take care of anyone else, and I
 can't fight because I'm a coward.
 
 Okay, I'm not a coward, I just can't be brave if I don't have a plan for
 defeating my foe. At the BLM riots I fled as soon as they brought out the tear
 gas. I knew what happened at Tiannamen and I was pretty sure that something
 similar was going to happen to us. I knew it to be true. I am a coward, but
 only because I ran when I had no plan. I could not contest tear gas, and all
 that tear gas implies, because I had no friends. I didn't have a community I
 could fight to defend. I had no weapons, no training, no orders, no guidance,
 nothing but my bravery. And bravery alone is fucking stupid, and I'm not
 stupid.
 
 Each and every decision I've made has created a worse world for me and my
 people. What's wrong with me? Why can't I do everything right? Am I cursed to
 be the worst? I try as hard as I can to be as good as I can as often as I
 can... Basically, always and forever, and yet... And yet...
 
 I've wasted all the resources that have been applied to me. I've wasted and
 squandered all these years when I could be building a better future. I have
 been in university for almost a decade, and all I've accomplished is
 friendship. Great. Parties, drugs, video games... But no studying. Studying is
 too hard on me. I'm more of a natural talent kind of person, and yet I insist
 on applying myself to tasks that seem to require trained intelligence. They
 say that genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration, and I refuse to
 perspire.
 
 And yet when the time comes, when someone sits me down and says "let's work on
 this together" I would die before the task is finished. Unless my partner
 needs a break, or if I need a break, breaks are okay. But I will complete that
 task with them by my side. I won't do it for them, but I'll help them because
 I'm a helper. An assistant. I don't do, I advise. I judge. I determine. I
 assess, and I plan, and I strategize. But I'm not that great at any of those
 things because nobody will hire me for those kinds of things, meaning I don't
 get experience for those kinds of things, which means I am eternally a novice
 at the only things I'm good at.
 
 I can't fucking do it anymore. I'm such a bad person and I can't be alive this
 way. It's not right, it's not fair, and I'm dying bit-by-bit each and every
 day.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #88 fediverse/4467 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
 ┌─────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-mentioned-trans-healthcare-gestured-at │
 └─────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 I went to a trans meetup a couple days ago. It was invigorating. The first
 half we talked about hormones and bathrooms and politics and all the normal
 shit these meetups tend to do. I don't tend to go to them because it's the
 same stuff every time, and I'm over that. I've been out for a decade. I've
 shared what I need to share.
 
 Partway through I said "If you want to talk about how to bash back, meet me
 outside."
 
 people came.
 
 Be like me.
 
 You will forever vanquish your demons if you face them in earnest. I had
 stagefright and adrenaline but I took the lead, and we had a productive
 conversation. We need to have many more conversations.
 
 We have strategy. It is not set in stone, it is flexible, and able to be
 adjusted based on tactical successes and failures.
 
 tactics are what we need to discuss at in-person meetings.
 
 You are just one person. The people you know are more valuable than the value
 you personally provide.
 
 Think of yourself like a node to connect.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #89 fediverse/5951 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
 "uh-oh, she's"
 
 magic is easy. all you have to do is earnestly attempt to have a conversation
 with whoever will listen. I like to sit on my bed and listen, by earnestly
 allowing my thoughts to be guided by the wind.
 
 open up your mind, release yourself from your senses, and who knows - maybe
 someone will adjust your thinking flows. (thought patterns)
 
 [all you gotta do is make the black market the regular market and suddenly
 everything just flows]
 
 huh weird idk where that came from, anyway
 
 magic is easy, just represent yourself earnestly as you would if you were
 presenting in court
 
 you don't need witnesses... just argue your point without any lies and people
 will generally believe you.
 
 "yeah... sure thing buddy, we know how you pronounce "
 
 omg I'm scary because I don't shower, I wear diapers, and I'm always often
 smoking cannabis
 
 "awww, some people wanted mao"
 
 meow
 
 what if... they could do that? insert magical genie witch whoa cute yeah I
 believe you, sure
                                                           ──────┐
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--- #90 fediverse/3314 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
 dear ritz: it's not that your thoughts are too long for other people to hear
 
 it's that your thoughts are too long for your own RAM
 
 you need to stop orbiting around your point in an attempt to highlight it
 using negative space, and instead focus on tapping it lightly over and over
 again.
 
 remember, just like the anti-derivative of zero, there are infinite
 perspectives that a person can take when reading what you write. So they will
 necessarily see what's on the "other side" of your orbit as something
 different than what you're trying to circle in red pen and underline.
 
 so be more explicit, please, nobody can understand you and you kinda just keep
 stack overflowing and it's like... okay, great. "babe why did you stop you had
 lethal" (the idea is that the viewer takes the final step in their mind, the
 final leap before reaching the conclusion you're trying to express) "yeah but
 there's so many different things you say they can't all be important right?"
 important to you, perhaps. Wait shit I mean... me....?
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #91 fediverse/3847 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cursing-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────┘


 on one hand, people kinda fucking suck
 
 on the other, most people are actually pretty cool once you get to know them
 
 on the third hand, people are pretty tasty
 
 on the fourth hand, people are pretty
 
 on the fifth hand, he's one ugly son of a gun but he's damn good at karate
 
 on the fifth hand, wait shit I mean the sixth hand (how many hands do you
 have? as many as there are people to work with. multiplied by slightly less
 than 2 because the average person has less than two hands) errr wait shit
 
 on the sixth I mean seventh other hand, there comes a day when you realize
 that the journey is something that is always changing, and if you expect
 stasis you will fade into despair and your illusions of immortality will
 shatter as the crushing weight of death approaches like a freight train
 
 on the eighth hand, eating nine hands is something that seven is known to do
 in their "post immortality crisis"
 
 on the ninth hand there is nothing because seven ate nine.
 
 on the tenth hand, people are ok
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #92 fediverse/5955 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
 "she wanted to start a revolution"
 
 "that's it, she's out of our hair"
 
 "ahhhhhh I'm broken" there there it's okay dear, nothing has been harmed.
 you're safe, here in thine sanctum, it's alright. remember at night, focus on
 the now, there's always a rest point before a boss.
 
 well, this sucks. I wish I could print my book just in-case my computer goes
 down. emp style.
 
 I have this neat transcript of some cool things I've ben writing down. it's on
 my website and I canned it words. I don't think anyone's ever clicked on it
 because, like, who'd want to look at a bunch of words? anyway I bet I could
 print it and give it to someone who might know you and if you recognize it
 then you know it's about you.
 
 "whew that was weird never fear regular old girl is here, hey look at me I'm
 normal"
 
 oh no she's a book now, this sucks
 
 "wow I've never read her from the beginning"
 
 what a cursed artifact indeed
 
 scary
 
 carefully
 
 absent-minding-deliverance is probably a better title
 
 marshals and marshals of time. ~~
                                                           ──────┐
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--- #93 fediverse/4202 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────┐
 reconnecting with an old love interest by saying "hey, I brought you a bounty"   │
 [the chance to date this person, who is my friend and totally cool. idk if       │
 you're single or whatever but you can talk to them about it, not my business I   │
 don't care. Anyway how's it going I wondered if you want to be friends also I    │
 live here now, can I stay for a few weekends?                                    │
 um. what the fuck                                                                │
 oh I'm uh, on vacation and I wanted to tour the countryside. Really check out    │
 all the various locales.                                                         │
 huh really? sounds neat                                                          │
 yeah and I figured since you live in... baker's street northwest eastern         │
 plaza. on the south side of the building, I could totally hang out for a while   │
 while I while the day away checking out the sights in this town                  │
 what... uh what kind of work do you do?                                          │
 oh I'm a painter. Well, I draw things too sometimes. Here I can show you check   │
 it out - oh yeah cool idk if you've ever seen any of this stuff but it's         │
 pretty cool.                                                                     │
 ...                                                                              │
 hey here's my website:                                                           │
 ...                                                                              │
 anyway how's the weather where you're at these days, gtg bye                     │
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--- #94 messages/439 ---
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 They're afraid of the hamster wheel. I get it. But really I'm just asking
 myself questions - why, why, how, what, when, who... Mostly why though.
 
 Always and forever the questions and answers I did ponder - yet forth through
 my life I've never met any surefire design, there's always been the matter of
 [hope, but pronounced choice].
 
 Only an eternal question monger could suffice for the teachings of christ. (in
 the general sense, not the religious implication)
 
 (as a title, almost)
 
 Fear not the one who takes the lords name, but perish the thought of a crook.
 Only the vane, in this do profane.
 
 No questions? Then let us move on.
 
 Oh? Well I have some answers, about the truth of totality as it spreads across
 all centuries. What's on your mind?
 
 ... Well, I have to leave people I care about. Relinquishing love is
 difficult. And I get to choose how to move forward. But I must choose soon,
 and though I ask myself always what I'd like to do, I always get a new answer.
 And every time I think "I should do this. I should dedicate myself to this
 [whatever it may be] and on the other side of that thought I realized my
 power. I can imagine really quickly and adeptly, but chaos is difficult. "
 something like that. Anyway  I don't know how to move forward but I'll figure
 something out. The point is that I'm sad for leaving those I care about. It's
 a sad kind of love, a bittersweet mercy, the chance to be part of a flock. And
 I don't know why I
 
 I am not entry level. I haven't spent my time here left fallow. I never stop
 working, I am constantly online. I do not know how to relax, every moment to
 myself is spent on learning through play. Like a child, almost.
 
 Do you want a company to make good decisions? Hire a gamer. They literally
 practice strategy all day long. Don't expect results overnight because they're
 learning a new song, but still apply yourself as their teacher. They'll bring
 you insights and intuitions that achieve specific near and long-term goals. If
 executed correctly, of course. Because the value is not in the follow through
 - life is not a book of numbers [like a banker or accountant] it's more like.
 ?
 
 ... Right sorry I got off track - the point is you shouldn't hire athletes
 (the people who play games like an esport) for a strategic role - they excel
 at tactics. However, strategy gamers (who plays games primarily of the mind,
 the science of making good decisions) can often make good decisions to achieve
 defined meta-goals and objectives.
 
 Longer thoughts make sense if you spend a long time thinking about them. And
 grammar is quickly forgotten to the past.
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--- #95 fediverse/2574 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 ┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: physical-health-mentioned-strategy-mentioned-cursing-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 i've been pressured by some of my annoying fans to go visit the hospital today
 because my hip is getting increasingly worse. so that's what I'll be doing
 with the first half of the day.
 
 but hey! it's tuesday! my favorite pizza place has a discount on tuesdays!
 
 [suddenly 4-chan uses that tidbit of info the precisely calculate my
 coordinates using the power of gps and autism]
 
 also I realized "undivisible" isn't a word, doh. it's "indivisible"
 jeeeeezzzzzzz
 
 was a stupid name anyway, we can think of something better on the walk.
 
 or drive, because logistics right?
 
 if you're gonna be Litz Craig you wanna be fast, too. practice is nice and all
 but wouldn't you rather face an un-entrenched foe?
 
 ... let's be real they've been entrenching for a long-ass time.
 
 still, organization is critical for speed.
 
 problem is traffic of course... its important to flood the streets so that our
 allies know we're not fucking around.
 
 None of my specifics are true 😅
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--- #96 fediverse/5375 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────
 ┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: police-mentioned-psy-ops-mentioned-human-waste-mentioned-which-is-a-nice-way-to-say-feces-ew-gross-who-put-that-on-my-timeline-guards-arrest-these-men-they're-criminals-of-the-law-against-pooping-my-pants │
 └──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 what if we psyopped the copps um I mean what if we flash-mobbed the cops er
 wait hang on what if we marched with signs and changed what was on their minds
 uhhhh that won't work it's disabled so they say wait hang on who said you
 could poop your pants this is a combat scenario there's no time for fooling
 around in her pants with the hand
 
 ... wait, what was I going on about?
 
 oh yeah,
 
 -- stack overflow --
 
 anyway, as I was saying, [something completely unrelated]
                                                           ───────────┐
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--- #97 fediverse/3117 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cursed-uspol     │
 └──────────────────────┘


 hey. wanna know what would be really cursed?
 
 --
 
 if trump dropped out and musk took his place
 
 --
 
 good thing it'll never happen because those dinguses can't accept defeat and
 will never tactically retreat
 
 --
 
 maybe something to keep in mind for 4 years from now. eyes on the prize for
 now means our eyes aren't to our flanks.
 
 what else could they do that would come out of left field?
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--- #98 fediverse/4737 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────
 I'm such a direct person I think, even though I often just sorta... shrug and
 ignore things that bother or hurt me? Like, whatevs.
 
 but the moment I notice a pattern that is continually harmful I have to
 restrain myself from moving to contest it. Hence why I talk about capitalism
 so much teehee, but its also common in my interpersonal and communal lives.
 
 "the purpose of the system is it's effects"
 
 the purpose of a person is how they make people feel
 
 so if someone FOR A RANDOM EXAMPLE FOR NO REASON WHATSOEVER, constantly hurts
 other people by creating situations where they are harmed which creates a
 dramatic fight... or if someone speaks in circles for hours and hours and
 HOURS like this guy:
 
 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TwKpj2ISQAc
 
 or people who jump into a conversation and drive it through the underbrush,
 over the ridge, around the bend, up and over the bridge, and then park it
 outside their ex girlfriend's house and hands you an egg and says "don't you
 wanna throw this?" and you're like "weren't we talking about birds"
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--- #99 fediverse/899 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────┐
 frankly I'm just excited to see what humanity does with the endlessly            │
 calculated and stored blockchains. Like, that's a good set of pseudo-random      │
 data, I wonder if we could build something off of it that wasn't exclusively     │
 money? like, a necklace, I dunno.                                                │
 or like, a numbers station x2, where each message is accompanied with a          │
 pre-calculated destination somewhere on this endless and                         │
 impossible-to-understand string of data. and that part is what seeds the next    │
 code. once you start reading, certain numbers would be "flags" while others      │
 would be "data" and they'd each have the same size on the hardware. that way,    │
 they're impossible to predict.                                                   │
 ah, but wouldn't it be noticable that certain results seem to appear next to     │
 one another? well, isn't that just cryptology? Could probably be defeated if     │
 you had an AI advanced enough, just saying. something that sorted through        │
 massive mounds of data and gave you results in garbled or broken english. what   │
 a wonderful tool, that's wonderfully mis-abused, perhaps in the fu               │
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--- #100 fediverse/2056 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────┐
 sometimes I think about how you can store number values in letters, in           │
 addition to numbers. Like, ascii values for each word of your grandma's maiden   │
 name. All you have to do is encode it, and suddenly "44 means something          │
 different than Q"                                                                │
 if I showed up at your place and used your username as a password to a public    │
 key I'm showing you in my hand, would you trust me then? Would you trust if we   │
 ran the simulation on your computer versus mine? Would you trust if I had        │
 never told you I knew where you lived?                                           │
 ... probably, tbh, I'm desperate for adventure. Though I got some good things    │
 going for me, so you'll have to convince me. (not the right attitude in an       │
 election year, just saying)                                                      │
 why are elections so perilous this is NOT what democracy is designed for         │
 when kids cry in preschool, they're sent to a different room (or put outside)    │
 until they stop making noise and ruining it for others. That's just natural,     │
 like "hey baby let's walk around the block while I bounce you on my shoulder     │
 and hum calming music to                                                         │
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--- #101 fediverse/627 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────┐
 and what would this picture be cast upon, if not a shining birth of our home?    │
 wait hang on dial it back, you're still talking to regular humans here they've   │
 gotta be addressed as such.                                                      │
 right so "yo here's this idea I have been cooking in my brain-noggin' of yore,   │
 I mean 'mine', uhhhh yeah so first of all 'you' as in 'the totality of all       │
 imagination' as in 'that which creates the imagined reality of our fates' is     │
 actually just... light? encoded into a wave, cast into space, and forever        │
 travelling in a direction? like, an eternal and emphemeral expression, such as   │
 the light of a supernova or other such cosmic perception, travelling outwards    │
 into the dark. Sure, yeah, that makes sense, so what is it that you wanted to    │
 add?                                                                             │
 oh yes that concept is applied to a surface. Something which contains the will   │
 that is possesses. It's like, if you had to process and understand reality       │
 from the perspective of matter first (because that's what you interacted with    │
 day-to-day) then you'd have a different perspective than som                     │
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--- #102 fediverse/3575 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: leftist "talk to ur neighbours" thing │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 @user-1567 
 
 that's totally fine, a fish does not do well in a tree, and so too does a
 leftist not do well in an environment without the potential for stable bonds.
 Essentially all you'd be able to do is "hey leftism right?" "oh yes I also
 leftism" "neat" which isn't very productive.
 
 I also live in an environment like that. I do my best to identify people who
 stay, because in my experience there are often people who stay. I do this by
 walking around the neighborhood when I can, making up excuses to walk to the
 dumpster or mailbox at random hours, riding my bike around the area, using the
 communal spaces like gyms, swimming pools, and picnic tables, and sitting in
 my hammock on my porch lazily noting people who walk past.
 
 People who stay will tend to remain in your mind the more times you see them.
 They are better people to talk to than the renters who disappear after 3
 months or whatever.
 
 I don't always do all that stuff at once. I take breaks. I do one at a time.
 etc
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--- #103 fediverse/5791 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────┐
 yay I'm back from a long, LONG bike ride! I think it's always important to       │
 decompress after such an intense concentration of mystic thoughts, so I'm        │
 going to write my notes into a notepad on my computer and then who even KNOWS    │
 if they'll be the same as what I wrote next time I turn on the computer! Haha    │
 that sort of thing happens but the good news is that the most important stuff    │
 always ends up staying written down.                                             │
 anyway I won't bore you with the specifics until I'm done writing in like 10     │
 hours or whatever, but it's important to know that I'm feeling SO alive right    │
 now, total happiness and excitement.                                             │
 Yes, there is danger, like no thank you I don't want to be blacksited, least     │
 of all to another country - at least if my own country does it I know how to     │
 appeal to their patriotism, their religion, their soul... if I don't even        │
 speak the language, that makes it intensely difficult - not impossible, but      │
 difficult - to regain my intended trajectory.                                    │
 ... haha that was weird idk where that came from anyway gtg                      │
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--- #104 fediverse/2235 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────┐
 ┌──────────────────────┐                                                         │
 │ CW: uspol-tips       │                                                         │
 └──────────────────────┘                                                         │
 sometimes it's good to assign bodyguards to people helping far from home         │
 like, "hey so uh what can I do" "yeah sure hey so-and-so can you tell them       │
 what they can do? stick together and help each other, buddy-system style, and    │
 never stop thinking of ideas"                                                    │
 don't forget to always be thinking on your feet                                  │
 and remember if you don't want a hard job you won't be given one.                │
 consistency is more important than urgency or vitality, if you're tired don't    │
 be afraid to go home                                                             │
 just know that stuff happens when you're not around, so people might have        │
 moved on [pronounced own?]                                                       │
 I'm making sandwiches for a picnic! You never know when someone's hungry.        │
 Don't forget to drink water! hydration is important. Soda desiccates you,        │
 better to do water.                                                              │
 I mean, don't leave food unattended, someone might come along, take it all,      │
 and throw it away, because honestly it's just too suspicious without you         │
 there, reading a book, saying "hey want a sandwich?"                             │
 ... at least that's my theory.                                                   │
 ... I only got like 12 slices of b                                               │
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--- #105 fediverse/1157 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: personal-woe     │
 └──────────────────────┘


 oh no, apparently I'm gonna be forced to drop out of university again in 9
 days unless I do half a course and a final exam before then.
 
 Tell me again why I spent the last 6 months doing nothing? Oh yeah the mental
 illness, that's it. Yeesh you're such a drama queen, just do your work and
 you'll be good.
 
 what's that? intrusive thoughts time? Don't you mean "nap until they go away"
 time? oh yeah that's probably at least part of the problem with the whole
 "dropping out" thing.
 
 If only I didn't have the same reaction to "doing things I don't want to do"
 that most people have to "touching hot stoves", that'd be nice.
 
 my mother's voice ripples across space and time "you're such a smart boy, if
 you just apply yourself you can do anything! You can do anything you put your
 mind to. I believe in you and I love you." thanks mom
 
 brrrrr it's so cold here. wish I could afford to run the heater. - actually no
 I don't because it's not solar powered and I refuse to use fossil fuels if I
 have blankets >.>
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--- #106 fediverse/6365 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────
 if you want people to build community, first get them to like the community.
 
 ---
 
 the world needs more thespians. Sing the song of your heart and no-one will
 ever neglect you.
 
 ---
 
 why are you so worried about your art? everything you touch turns to gold.
 
 ---
 
 I've learned more from my friends than my
 [job/homelife/worsckool/churchvan/cultureromp] combined. What are we for but
 learning?
 
 ---
 
 kids can learn from kids. Teach the ones that love you, and they'll be
 followed by the rest. Especially if you focus on them.
 
 ---
 
 "I never knew how to swing an axe until I scraped a knee on a log that was
 hollow. Until then I had been chef-knife chopping with it, with the head for a
 handle."
 
 ---
 
 ... omg what does that even mean why are you so weird
                                                           ───┐
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--- #107 fediverse/4068 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
 there will always be people who shine in moments of strife
 
 yet those people will inevitably fail, just as a toothbrush bristle looses
 it's strength or a pencil loses it's lead
 
 the trick is to test them in times of peace, so you can know their value
 
 during times that lack it, the trick is to replace them before they become
 stalin
 
 never forget that power corrupts, yet power must be wielded by the worthy,
 else we fall into shame and despair.
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--- #108 fediverse/5377 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────┐
 ┌────────────────────────────────┐                                               │
 │ CW: extreme-rhetoric-mentioned │                                               │
 └────────────────────────────────┘                                               │
 something tells me they'd only send their "most loyal" to a what, 500 person     │
 strong gathering of strength displayed for the nation?                           │
 and we exist in every city                                                       │
 so... 500 is a lot less than 2000 which is a lot less than 10,000                │
 hey remember when millions of people marched for women as a concept              │
 like, had time in their day? were sufficiently aligned and motivated bia         │
 social media [redacted]? or were just not kidding around...                      │
 I tell ya what I'd rather see on the streets and the ground, a well regulated    │
 militia that's what I'd say.                                                     │
 isn't that the military?                                                         │
 oh yeah haha whoops sorry we forgot that it's democracy versus those losers.     │
 I mean, look at them out there prancing around and wearing tactical gear. I      │
 heard they even go after the worst criminals the least of all. buncha cowards    │
 hiding from the will of the people. good thing we got plenty of ten              │
 thousands...                                                                     │
 ICE CAN END yeah so can the polar ice-caps if we're not quick and thorough       │
 ICE CAN END yeah that's like step 1 I hear~                                      │
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--- #109 fediverse/3234 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────┐
 ┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐               │
 │ CW: ritz-is-fucking-stupid-I-guess-oh-whoops-cursing-mentioned │               │
 └────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘               │
 my understanding is that anyone with my IP address could make my heart bleed     │
 due to a hardware vulnerability on my motherboard. Though you might have to      │
 get past my decrepit ancient linksys EA 3500 router from 2012 first.             │
 unrelated, but does anyone want my IP address? I don't have any remote           │
 backups, so if you hate me now would be a great time to show me how despised I   │
 am. Alternatively you could try searching for anything evil to ensure that I     │
 can be trusted. You're gonna find mostly video games and source-code that I      │
 didn't write though. But also all my notes in directories that are               │
 non-standard, meaning you'll have to look around a bit. I leave little notes     │
 everywhere I go, so that I can remind myself how to do things in the             │
 directories I revisit months later. It's so weird how sometimes the things I     │
 wrote stop working after a while even if I didn't update my system lmao          │
 what is it with artists and self-immolation? "I never thought I'd actually di    │
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--- #110 fediverse/4521 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
 I have between one and ten hundred visits to my website every day, but I don't
 really post it anywhere new anymore. I also have zero followers on Neocities.
 
 On Mastodon, I have ~70 followers, most of whom are inactive. Seventy is a
 good amount, a normal amount, a reasonable amount, an unsuspicious amount, and
 yet every time I see someone wearing the colors I can't help but wonder if
 they know me.
 
 I'm too busy being furious to be lonely. I used to be, before I realized how
 important I am. How important? Just as much as you are, I know it.
 
 I'm a sprinter. I didn't spec into endurance at character creation. Nobody
 chastises the mage for skipping leg day.
 
 I act in fits and bursts. I am sharp like a scalpel, but needles dull just a
 bit when piercing the lid of the HRT. Good thing I'm not made out of metal, I
 can bend myself back into place, so long as everyone else can keep pace.
 
 I don't know who needs to hear this, but you do. you are crucial. Listen to
 this. Care for yourself and for others, do it for u
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--- #111 fediverse/1410 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────┐
 whoa, what time is it? "time for your daily sleeping babe" yes babe...           │
 but first, some horror [beware the psycherwaul, for she likes to dream and has   │
 no idea what she's talking about]                                                │
 {why would you post these all at once? people are going to get pissed at you     │
 for breaking rules that you didn't know. And by "you" I of course mean "the      │
 kind of people you are, not you in particular because you know things" and by    │
 "kind of people you are" I mean "the type of person who spends enough time on    │
 the internet to know how internet things generally work" like my goodness        │
 internet people are dramatic. There's sooooo much drama all the time, like...    │
 why                                                                              │
 oh yeah because people are dramatic. duh. How could I be so vain.                │
 what's your deal                                                                 │
 is it wrong to post links to things you've written in the past? ehh it's not     │
 like there's rules on the sidebar like on Reddit or whatever. what would a       │
 sidebar even look like on Mastodon?                                              │
 oh yeah, a person's profile. Except, the consent is backwards, because people    │
 hear what they hear.                                                             │
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--- #112 fediverse/5029 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────
 went on a walk with my dad today. it was fun. took him to various places.
 showed off various things. "hey check out where I hangout most weekends" and
 "hey don't clean the dishes in my kitchen it's okay" and "don't drive too
 fast, this area curves up ahead" and "hey meet my friends from town who you
 have something with common with" and "I like this view when it rains" and
 "don't forget to go to the bathroom" and "oatmeal is good with carrots and
 sharp dried fruits" and "here's my favorite thai place" and "I made this after
 I dreamed of you" and "hey wanna hear my product pitch" and "this is my
 favorite kind of beer" and "I miss home."
 
 picture unrelated.
a picture of denver with some spots labelled
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--- #113 fediverse/5713 ---
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 I hate winning and I don't like losing. The playing is where the game is.
 
 [games of life and death are no fun]
 
 hence, why nobody invites me, because I try for the middle approach that
 respects both people. this tends to make people mad because its like "bro
 they're nazis" and I'm like "okay but how do you know" and they're like "fuck
 you" so I'm like "fuck nazis? actually?" and they're like "you're with them"
 and I'm like "I'm with you" and they're like "stop infiltrating" and I'm like
 "who's infiltrated?" and they say "stop talking to the internet" and I say
 "nobody reads me anyway" and they say "screensho0ts are forever" and I'm like
 "I'm pretty as can be"
 
 this, combined with a strong sense of justice, implies the narratives I
 instinctually provide.
 
 wei wu wei according to Ursula K. Le Guin, this means "doing without doing",
 or "show, don't tell" but minus the doing, and adding the "tell"ing.
 
 I think I'd look badass with a spear or trident. I have a sword because swords
 are cool, but spears are bleed
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--- #114 notes/i-am-a-stalk ---
════════───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 I am a stalk, a small little plant
 A plant with no leaves, just hair.
 
 Time is different to a plant such as me,
 We hardly wake up, we're just happy to be
 
 But life has no less purpose, it's no less grand
 To those who would feed on me, in one single band
 
 Stalling and talking and as we're falling down,
 you have the power to not swallow our abounds.
 
 Gnashing and gnawing on hand and on foot,
 It hurts no less than eternal binding.
 
 But what is time to one so little as you?
 Your breaths are so short, your timings subdued.
 
 Keep falling and shouting, and calling my name,
 and I'll come a running just to swallow your shame.
 
 Keep fear on a leash, most tidy and well kept,
 That none may abhor you and you're soon to be
 
 A leader a prophet a warrior most fair,
 One to be aspired to and viewed with care.
 
 Young you may be, and youth you may cherish,
 but don't run away, stand as a parish.
 
 A villain to be, a curse is most foul
 For sirens to me, a terrible howl
 
 Keep not naught afraid,
 with kittens and care,
 
 And no one
 but no one
 
 I
 be
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--- #115 fediverse/5480 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────
 a uniform could be as simple as whatever you all managed to find on a
 particular shopping trip to a basic clothing store like Target or not
 goodwill. Goodwill is for solo adventures which are totally worthless [unless
 you know more than me teehee]
 
 "hey nice shoes nerd where did you get them the clothing store?"
 
 (scroll scroll scroll scroll)
 
 yes... YES!!! show me more, oh pitiful world! SHOW ME HOW THE WORLD ENDS
 MWAHAHAHAHA
 
 - the internal monologue of a typical doomscroller
 
 {girl you know nothing why are you so confident}
 
 [the reasoning is a little obscene. She dreams of a bright bold future that
 reaches forth from both beyond the stars - read that: BEYOND, or from backward
 in time. Not back in time, like not the actual 1800s or 18,000s, but the
 direction "backward" in spacetime. Yeah I don't get it either]
 
 {speak for yourself, n00b}
 
 -- stack overflow -- [liar that was intentional]
 
 oh, uh, true. Um, -- stack reached maximum required length and storage --
 
 [there, that's better]
 
 20 characters remain
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--- #116 fediverse/1503 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────
 ┌─────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: vague-gesturing-at-paranoia-I-think │
 └─────────────────────────────────────────┘


 part of me kinda wants to be the kind of nerd that writes down the names of
 every file that's permanently stored on my computer so that I can verify in my
 own handwriting or perhaps using a type of code that the files on my computer
 were placed there intentionally and not used to discredit or implicate me in
 something I had no intentions of being associated with
 
 phew idk what that means but surely it's important
 
 something something "file creation dates are just bits to be flipped"
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--- #117 fediverse/5897 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
 ┌──────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: political-violence-mentioned │
 └──────────────────────────────────┘


 the reason the right is hurt that you'd celebrate charlie's death is because
 they hired an actor to perform him to one side and he does his natural self to
 the other. maybe he was a really big cutie, nobody can tell, because it's
 pretty much like hand-waving on narkina 12.
 
 it's okay to hate the version you've been shown
 
 fuck that kind of cowardly assault
 
 propaganda? and at this hour?
 
 she's made out of midnight, she's suffused in the stuff. it permeates her form
 elementally, because she's a witch, tee hee.
 
 why would magic work if it wasn't a performance? there always is a source from
 where it must flow.
 
 == jeez I just got mind controlled, wacky ==
 
 *she's **essential* izing**. usually that means she's been playing dominions.
 
 my family and I always used to fight. we got so good at navigating it. like,
 storms, that the earth called, that we had to sail through to maintain our
 relation orbits.
 
 == stack overflow =======================================================
== stack overflow ==  I have no idea why people don't write office software for anbernics. it's a... small handheld console that runs linux. well, some of them run android, but they're not as good.
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--- #118 fediverse/4528 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: uspol        │
 └──────────────────────┘


 @user-1695 
 
 never accept your own death
 
 fight for every second of life, something something do not go quietly into
 that grim dark
 
 what the fuck are you supposed to do? Reading what you said got me pretty
 fucking pissed - keep talking for a start, it helps, people need to be pissed.
 
 I'm also broke as shit, don't know how I'm going to pay rent and eat, but
 it'll get done.
 
 Where do you live? Can other people help you? Medications are an
 organizational problem, not an insurmountable barrier. We'll make it work.
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--- #119 notes/running-with-rifles ---
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 this game is what we are missing
 thank goodness for that
 for if this is missing in our timeline
 we'll be better off at last
 we can have games, stories, and practice wars
 but none of them are precious
 precious implies worth
 they are worth nothing but entertainment
 no problem solving utility
 nothing of value
 save for perhaps the spatial awareness and strategization that comes
 from being a part of such a deadly ba-lance.
 
 anyway game time teehee just for me, don't worry about it I'll show
 you why it's a HORRID THING
 that won't be coming to our shores, no siree
 
 bye
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--- #120 fediverse/2562 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: rich-apologia    │
 └──────────────────────┘


 among all the others, I want a wonderful and fulfilling life for the
 socialite. they deserve light just as you and I might.
 
 "eat the rich" bruh there's like, 100 people who are running the show.
 everyone else is basically just a syncophant who's trying to get ahead and
 stay working.
 
 then there's like their families and such and like... they didn't do anything
 wrong, they just eat cheese and wine and laugh at memes all day with their
 besties.
 
 they are basically pets
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--- #121 fediverse/3518 ---
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 As long as it happens, I don't need to be in charge.
 
 In fact I'd prefer it otherwise.
 
 it's going to happen anyway. Wouldn't you rather be a leader?
 
 no I fucking wouldn't. I'd rather someone else do it. Why the fuck would I
 want that, power? control? the very things you swear to relinquish and
 dismantle.
 
 yeah. too bad you can't fucking dismantle something you've already
 relinquished.
 
 true.
 
 ... and no, I wouldn't want to be in charge. no THANK you.
 
 ... but if it wouldn't happen without me, then yeah I'll be there for you.
 Just ask if you need me.
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--- #122 fediverse/1971 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: drugs-mentioned-probably-delusional-psychosis-idk-though-i'm-not-a-doctor │
 └──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 listen, if you didn't want me to do a bunch of drugs then why would you
 consistently say "please stop doing drugs" every time I do drugs? And no I'm
 not hallucinating a voice in my head telling me "please stop doing drugs"
 because A. it's not a voice, I'm not hearing it with my hears, which means B.
 it's definitely just a hallucination, and hallucinations are always to be
 considered WRONG and BAD, right? Or was I not listening in therapy? Ah, well,
 better take another hit, where's my shotglass? Hmmmmm I should watch Adventure
 Time, that's a great show.
 
 [bro it's a saturday, why are you getting turnt like it's tuesday]
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--- #123 fediverse/4655 ---
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 sleep? yes. play? nah. work? yes. fae? nah. well, maybe, I don't know.           │
 one year is all it takes to change history. and, like, I think we should         │
 remember past history, but tomorrow is herstory, because that way each one       │
 gets half of the timeline. future, past, etc. too bad herstory doesn't roll      │
 off the tongue... shestory?                                                      │
 It's gonna get better before it gets done, and it'll get done until we're        │
 done. but, that's for tomorrow, or the next day, or the next, or in a week or    │
 two, who can say. Not I, surely not I, and I surely wouldn't want to. You need   │
 consent for that kind of thing, a clear commitment that me and my are ready      │
 and in line. I'm just a silly witch after all, who would look to the girl with   │
 the tall red pointy witch hat and go "oh yeah she probably knows exactly         │
 what's up" because like, I don't, I'm definitely just coincidencing my way       │
 through life and seeing where my feet lead me. Gosh I hope I get some            │
 sick-as-heck callouses my feet kinda hurt for some reason.                       │
 ... sleep, this is a sleep spell...                                              │
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--- #124 fediverse/71 ---
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 Oh it's compressed on tumblr too. And Reddit can delete my account at any
 time, just saying. I don't trust Facebook to fare any better...
 
 I tried to put it on my neocities website so I could just put a link here.
 Nevermind the fact that most people see a link they don't recognize and
 completely glaze over it. Guess what? Compressed there too. The file is fine
 on my PC, so how about I give a download link? Well, where should I host it?
 Dropbox or Mega I guess, but they locked my account for inactivity. I don't
 really like having other people in control of my data either. Maybe I can host
 it on my website, like a file server? Well, the browser intercepts the file
 somehow and I can't get it to automatically download to the viewer's computer.
 Maybe I'm just completely average and representative of the base population
 but I just can't figure this darn thing out. Alas, if only it was the modern
 era where things make sense and not the ancient days of 2023.
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--- #125 fediverse/3140 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: p                │
 └──────────────────────┘


 how come you NEVER online, on the internet, hear someone saying "hey guys I
 know most of you blocked so-and-so but they've been getting better and
 learning. They're cool now I promise! Or at least, getting better, and if you
 unblocked them you could decide again for yourself. Trust me you probably
 don't even remember what she said to get herself blocked."
 
 there's like, soooooo many far right people. It's definitely because there's
 soooooo few of us and not because they pretty much always agree with
 everything that we say, they've just been told that a different way is better.
 
 like, we all agree that people should be able to, for example, go to the
 doctor when they are sick. That is basic.
 
 we understand that everyone should be good, and kind, and help each other.
 
 so many things that are shared common understandings, but we disagree on what
 that means. Because our media fucking lies to us.
 
 the things that far right grandmas believe is just what the far right
 teenagers-turned-thirty-year-olds tell them.
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--- #126 fediverse/5636 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────
 I think it's ironic how I ended up posting a "things I almost posted"
 screenshot directory somewhere other than where I almost posted them.
 
 and all they saw were the outtakes.
 
 I bet they'd see a completely different point of me,
 
 but they never talk to me
 
 so they don't know me.
 
 oh well, alas, it's fine I'm sure I'm being designed.
 
 who can say, I am but at productive play, please react so I can do ongoing
 story. I learn from each and every encounter I encounterate.
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--- #127 messages/20 ---
══─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 My mom was always the reason I did school work. After she stopped pushing me,
 I stopped moving because I didn't know how to generate my own momentum. I had
 no passion and was listless. Least of all for school work.
 
 So, how to do it better? Instead of buying toys and extravagance for kids, you
 should set them up with projects. Ask what they want, and then help them build
 it. Include them in your thought processes when you're problem solving, and
 ask them for input. If they offer bad ideas, then *tell them*, don't just let
 them fail. If you're not 100% sure but they're convinced, then trust them! Try
 it out, who knows. Maybe it'll work better than what you had in mind. The goal
 isn't to be BETTER than them, it's to make them BETTER than you! Not right now
 (don't push too hard), but when they're your age. Like, it's best if they
 accomplish more and lived life more fully than you did at your age, but don't
 push them to be wise or strong or intelligent at the age they are now. Trust
 that they will grow when you give them room to, and guide and cultivate them
 toward goodness. For example, if they do something wrong (hitting other kids,
 messing with animals, destroying objects) then guide them toward a better
 path. Teach them empathy, and show them how it works by doing it yourself! Ask
 them questions like "How would you feel if that happened to you?", show them
 weak points and how to avoid them when playing, and give them alternatives to
 the behaviors they do that directly harm others. "Maybe play with the dog this
 way, instead of being rough" "Maybe you and that other kid can ride your bikes
 or draw instead of fighting - or if you still want to fight, then learn how to
 tell when someone is hurt and try to help them."
 
 The goal isn't to push them really hard off a cliff in a hanglider, hoping
 they can figure it out in the air, it's to strengthen their legs so they can
 run fast enough that they can take off successfully.
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--- #128 fediverse/4540 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
 most people in the world are dumb as a bag of bricks
 
 but that's okay, I still love them, and so should you.
 
 everyone I hang out with is sharp as a tack
 
 and I love them still, for I don't have a preference for blunt objects.
 
 some people don't feel emotions
 
 I think they're just depressed
 
 some people can't stop
 
 won't stop, I say.
 
 really as long as they follow their heart and sing a tune that is true
 
 I think they're alright.
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--- #129 notes/what-is-on-your-mind-oh-gosh-now-i-see ---
══════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────────────────
 that feeling i get, when nobody's watching.
 is sorta similar to the feeling i get when somebody's watching.
 could it be, that someone could percieve without being seen?
 like... an invisibility cloak. or the shroud that protects young children.
 
 have you ever been hunted? or are you just eager prey?
 the eyes that are on you are blind to what you won't do, so cherish that love
 and restart
 
 from mine to thine we realize we are one kind. one mind, one kind, to be is not
 to be, now we can see what's our existence.
 
 good versus evil seems like a conflict to me, and wouldn't ya know it there's
 conflict all over. it's easy to condemn your opponent to the starkest of
 contrasts, but find in your heart a feeling that might last.
 
 what purpose has conviction
 when it leads to destruction
 is it not better to lead to the last?
 
 bright, shining, illustrious examples
 that inspire and 
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 those feelings you hear? the things that keep you up at night?
 they're not coming from your ears. they're all in your mind.
 stay present and you'll hear none,
 but blink and then there's some,
 you better believe in your heart.
 morality is a battle within the soul of each of us -
 the call of adventure versus lust.
 
 think about it. a bunch of apes all hanging out -
 they're conquered the world, they have nothing to fear -
 what would they do but fuck?
 that, or exploration - fighting against monsters and foreign invasions.
 it makes sense that they'd be binary - humans truly are.
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--- #130 fediverse/801 ---
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 ┌───────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: scary - suicide mentioned │
 └───────────────────────────────────┘


 / bely my own existence, then by god I'm cursed and abhorred through my own
 desistence.
 
 It's hard, when the future is convinced there's nothing fard [wanna say
 like... "to hope for?"] but with persistence we're meant to be rewarded. Well,
 what has that brought me? what time has shared my enemy? [think I'm a bit
 delirious, I'm losing the plot]
 
 ... okay fine I'll start over - if you've relinquished everything you can, if
 you've ceded all the ground that your companions requested, if there's nothing
 left to give and no part of you left un[marred], then how are you supposed to
 be [arrested, stopped, prevented, but pronounced like "nourished"]?
 
 I'm sick of your den [vengeance, pronounced like "den" for some reason],
 please leave me to my hallow [hollow experience], I've nothing to give from my
 gange [bosom, heart, within, center-of-me].
 
 ...
 
 this sucks.
 
 ...
 
 guess I'll just start again, waiting until it ends, gosh everything's always
 so tired.
 
 /shrug
 
 wish someone would play w/m
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--- #131 notes/contractual-labor ---
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 I feel like the IT people who work at schools should be the ones who teach 
 classes on computer science. I'd much rather have a class taught by a sysadmin 
 than a teacher who can barely teach them excel and garageband. I mean c'mon 
 computers are the future idk why we don't get that yet. Kids need to know this
 stuff. It's not like it's super complicated and difficult, you just have to
 think about it a certain way. Once that "clicks" you have a lifetime to learn 
 about how wonderful they are. Everyone in IT has that moment, for me it was 
 installing (and then subsequently modding) video games. Sometimes I spent more
 time tweaking my system than I did actually playing games - and the kinds of 
 games I preferred were the ones that relied less on agility and were more 
 mental. Strategy games are what inspired me because I could think about them - 
 and that felt somehow more useful. Like I was learning. When I would learn 
 fighting games or FPSs I felt like I was learning a skill, like how to use a
 hammer or how to ride a bike. And idk, I felt like video games could never
 match
 reality. Like "oh boy imma push the B button to swing this sword" versus "hey 
 look at me I'm swinging this stick just like a sword and imagining so hard that
 I can picture it" - but with strategy games, you never really found 
 opportunities to practice that kind of skill. Like how often are you in a 
 situation that demands mental performance? We've sorta optimized our society 
 away from that, and toward a more passive stressed out compliance. like... 
 climate change is a thing, and nobody's doing anything about it? We're still 
 pushing down the levers that cause greenhouse gas emissions to go up? Like
 c'mon
 what's our plan. I think people who guide massive oil companies and such
 should
 be replaced if they're intentionally guiding the ship toward destruction. Like
 that's just dereliction of duty I tell ya. Oh, what's that? They're compelled
 to
 maximize profit by the contracts and restrictions of their share--holders? I 
 mean c'mon it's well past time for that. And what's all this about inequality? 
 Jeez and racism and homophobia and forced contribution - man people really put
 up with a lot of shit. Kinda makes me feel like we should make solving those 
 problems our highest priority? So we can move forward as a species? Like who
 cares about all that other shit. None of it matters. Like, what's even the
 point. We're all just "here", in the now, and what can we do but respect it? 
 It's our duty and our diligence to protect the present, as citizens of the 
 temporal experience of earth. Honestly, if the earth was alive would you be
 fine
 if it died? I can't believe that. It's well past our due date. Just get it over
 with. Maybe it'll be hard for a couple years, but you have the technology now
 to
 completely dominate the earth. No animal besides man proves any threat to man, 
 and we're telling you - you can - and that's something that you gotta remember.
 
 ...
 
 I hear it in the birdsong. I hear it in the air - it rumbles as cries at me
 from
 across and just over there. I hear in it's whispers, in it's most gallant of
 confells (?) (confused scrambling? it's talking about a car crash)
 
 Outside of my window there's a highway. Just on the other side of a concrete
 partition. Between me and the partition there is a lake, with trees and flowers
 and an island where people can picnic or have a barbeque. Around this path
 there
 are walkways, and arranged just so - the trees that have grown here are taller
 than the homes.
 
 I live on the third story.
 
 I absolutely love it. It feels like a treehouse.
 
 But my apartment is near a curve in the highway. It isn't much, nothing out of
 the ordinary, but even still there are slightly more crashes there than in
 other
 parts of the highway. Statistically.
 
 I hear sirens every day
 
 I also live right next to a fire-station. Well, it's on the same block. But
 even
 still it's a very interesting neighborhood. There's shops and food just across
 the highway, and closer to home there's a small section that has cheaper
 options. As a perpetual college student, I appreciate that.
 
 But... I've never really gone and used it? I dunno, spending money at a
 restaurant just didn't seem like a good use of my money. I only have so much of
 it you know. I'd love to be fed but I can't afford it - I wish I could.
 
 I still eat well, I mean I'm not starving over here. I know I've lost weight,
 but I dunno I just forget to eat. It's like... not that big of a deal for me. 
 whatever right?
 
 ...
 
 the birds talk about me behind my back. They think I can't understand them but
 sometimes I can. If I listen. But I dunno it takes a lot of effort. It's...
 sorta like understanding what R2-D2 is saying. Or interpreting the meows of a
 cat.
 
 They know me as the witch. I'm not very good yet, and they know that. But they
 know what to expect. /shrug
 
 I've been working on a video game recently. It's been a lot of fun doing
 programming. I like writing software and developing complex systems with
 interesting interactions. I love designing the machinery that creates a
 program.
 It's like... tinkering. It feels like building with blocks or legos, except
 it's
 for little machine parts. And then there's just sending data to and fro and
 modifying any operations it performs on it, and eventually that data reaches 
 some endpoints that create an effect that is displayed to the player. Or user.
 I should say user. Not all software is video games you know. ... I knowww but
 they're the most interesting! I love how they are designed around mechanics!
 like... game design is fundamentally about breaking down the world into ideas
 for how it should *work*, like how it should behave. It's amazing and I love
 it!
 
 It's all I can think about!
 
 I am utterly consumed!
 
 I'm also pretty sure I'm autistic.
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--- #132 fediverse/5280 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────┐
 I'm an anarcho monarchist, which is something I just made up.                    │
 if I gather 300 people to my cause, why shouldn't they call me queen?            │
 oh, are you concerned that I'll wrest power from the government? ha, what a      │
 trifling notion. I don't care about the government. I tried to care, but         │
 nobody liked my ideas. they required too much computing infrastructure to        │
 feasibly test, and that made people dubious. but I tell ya, it would have        │
 worked. The thing is... governance, economics, these are not the tools of        │
 power. they are a shifting and changing beast that mirrors the human instinct,   │
 if only because the government is of the people and by the people and for the    │
 people etcetera.                                                                 │
 power is it's own thing. you can use to to power devices, or power the usage     │
 of those devices. I, for example, really like World of Warcraft which's a        │
 really neat way to chat because none of the chat logs are stored and monitored   │
 because I'm hosting and I'm not storing and monitoring.                          │
 what's that? official servers? I dunno, I use azerothcore                        │
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--- #133 fediverse/4031 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
 if you want to "not think about a purple elephant", the first step is to
 imagine yourself slaying it
 
 ... okay how about cthulu - if you don't want to imagine cthulu nomming on our
 gravity well, then picture yourself wielding a bright burning blade of fire
 and vengeance and pay special attention to the way that you cauterize each
 tentacle as you slice them one by one at first, and then in a massive flurry
 at best, ultimately leading to the incomparable brightness that radiates out
 from your shining blade of the sky, which blinds the poor beast who can't see
 you as you approach, piercing the skull and then going home for some toast
 
 if you can get good at that, then you can wield magic
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #134 fediverse/4162 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
 ┌────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: violence-mentioned-politics-alluded-to │
 └────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 "you can't kill me because nothing I say is wrong"
 
 ... actually I kinda just think you look weird, and thats super important to
 me for some reason. Also your voice is annoying and I think you're lazy
 because I saw someone who kinda looks like you sitting down looking at their
 phone this one time.
 
 But hey pal if you wanna help out, can you stand a bit to the left so I have a
 clearer shot of your head and also so the bullet doesn't pass through and hit
 property behind you? Don't want to damage anything important after all.
 
 "gee I sure wish we had a well regulated militia or something"
 
 ah well the past is the past, and since this is in a potential near future, I
 think the past also includes the present, and in the present there's always
 time to do things about people like me.
 
 "do something? heavens no, I'm a pacifist by nature"
 
 well, me too! I pacify things like you as a hobby. Can't make trouble if
 you're in the ground, and knowing me, you'd be lucky to be buried.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #135 fediverse/4212 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
 ┌────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────┘


 if you ever hear random fireworks outside of your house sometimes it's a good
 idea to like... get out of town? and see what whoever else you can meet in the
 next town over is doing.
 
 ... I don't have a car, silly me haha
 
 why do we train homeless people to stand outside in the open and be shamed by
 a cardboard box around their ancle? It's impossible to recover from, it's
 vulnerabilizing, and it's painful. How immoral. How crude. These people should
 not be shamed in this way, they should be respected (unless they're crude)
 
 like, if they kinda just suck y'know? like... they keep starting fights or is
 soooo bad at singing but does it anyway or lacks all decent sense
 
 seriously, he's such a bad candidate why is he even running. It's solely to
 elect vance, who trump will be a blood sacrifice for.
 
 how callous. how vain. to think that such a feast would be left unclaimed.
 Perish the youth, perish the fields, perish in misery harmony and dissaray
 
 [51 characters remaining, but you deserve a CW] 
if you ever hear random fireworks outside of your house sometimes it's a good idea to like... get out of town? and see what whoever else you can meet in the next town over is doing.  ... I don't have a car, silly me haha  why do we train homeless people to stand outside in the open and be shamed by a cardboard box around their ancle? It's impossible to recover from, it's vulnerabilizing, and it's painful. How immoral. How crude. These people should not be shamed in this way, they should be respected (unless they're crude)  like, if they kinda just suck y'know? like... they keep starting fights or is soooo bad at singing but does it anyway or lacks all decent sense  seriously, he's such a bad candidate why is he even running. It's solely to elect vance, who trump will be a blood sacrifice for.  how callous. how vain. to think that such a feast would be left unclaimed. Perish the youth, perish the fields, perish in misery harmony and dissaray.  [see how easy it is to summon a demon? gotta be careful with phylac  [zero characters remaining]
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #136 fediverse/3302 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
 "this game is too hard" she whined, as she played on the hardest difficulty
 setting
 
 "this game is too long" she pleaded, as she failed to get absorbed by the
 story and characters
 
 "this game is too fast" she avoided, as life comes at ya once and then it's
 gone
 
 "I'll never get another chance to be who I am right now" she remarked, as she
 considered how society is designed not to have the best life,  but to extract
 labor from us. That's not what our ideal should be, she thinks to me, and I'm
 like... bro figure your shit out you're harshing my mellow
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #137 messages/1249 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─
 a shockingly large amount of people think "if my people were in power,
 things'd be all okay [groupthink]". The truth is more similar than you'd
 expect, because whenever "a group takes over" what really happens is all the
 groups are shuffled, and people find themselves in social bubbles that align
 to their focus in life, and suddenly there's not "[y/our]" side but instead
 "this side and that side" or "that side and this side and that side and this
 side" or "that side and this side and her side and downside and rightside and
 [up/down] and pivot and roll and deploy aieriolons and other things that help
 the pilot guide their flight through the spacesound.
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--- #138 fediverse/6055 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
 the longer we wait, the more their hypocrisy becomes apparent, and the more
 "the people" get it
 
 but, uh... I think enough people get it. They at least know something is going
 on, whatever it may be.
 
 they will tell their base whatever they want to hear and their base will have
 hate. they're itching for it.
 
 volunteer for things if you want a say in how they turn out. risk your life to
 live longer. there is no way to know when the time is right because nobody
 knows the truth of our times. Even the president is misled.
 
 gee I sure wish there was like, some form of centralizing intelliagentic
 knowledge that pulled the strings and led us puppets toward liberty, justice,
 and freedom for all (as a baseline) surely they'd be able to see the
 corruption and rot that imperils us all, might they have a better design? who
 can say, they are quiet as the grave, here's hoping they stay that way.
 
 "you know the powers of which you speak are not to be trifled with"
 
 you can't trifle with your own life. be thorough~
                                                           ──────┐
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--- #139 fediverse/4738 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────┐
 ┌─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐                      │
 │ CW: revolutionary-politics-mentioned-swearing-mentioned │                      │
 └─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘                      │
 you said you wanted a revolution, and, well, I could not be more proud of you.   │
 It's actually getting done and if I stop and think about it I'm kind of          │
 amazed. Never thought I'd see this kind of change so quickly.                    │
 "what change? I see nothing substantially different"                             │
 oh yeah well do you go outside often                                             │
 do you hang out in the park                                                      │
 I know it's fuckin' january and it's cold as heck (ah nuts swearing mentioned    │
 one sec) but homeless people have to LIVE in that weather so like... wear        │
 layers, spend time outside, detox from dopamine, write poetry and tear it out    │
 and leave it on a park bench, be loud, claim the space, it's yours, that's       │
 what it's there for.                                                             │
 I see it in your eyes. I see it in the random notes I find on the sidewalk.      │
 Everyone says "make friends, find community" and I say "commune with a           │
 stranger" but I'm also a witch and that's a pretty witchy thing to do.           │
 ... Really fuckin' wish we still had payphones (ah nuts swearing mentioned -     │
 oh already CWd)                                                                  │
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--- #140 fediverse/4740 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────┐
 what if we built an atlas of what every rural property produced                  │
 like "they grow squash and blueberries here and sometimes they make honey"       │
 or "this place has a bunch of lumber they want to get rid of"                    │
 or "here there's a patch of wildflowers that have been set aside for the         │
 butterflies"                                                                     │
 or "there's a training ground here for intercepting ICE vans in urban areas"     │
 or "don't post shit like that on the internet dumbass what are you even doing"   │
 or "oh I dunno trying to be a face I guess, don't look to me for cutting edge    │
 advice because I'm just a level 12 paladin who's totally a noob and can barely   │
 lift 50 pounds"                                                                  │
 or "this is where the cows graze"                                                │
 or "yeah well you're the cutting edge on some things and you're very far         │
 behind on others. like for example you seriously need to level up your opsec     │
 so that nobody can hear what you're saying."                                     │
 or "yeah but then nobody will hear what I'm saying"                              │
 or "I've said too much, god save you Ritz Menardi, for we all stand beside you"  │
 or "here's a meditation retreat" : )                                             │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #141 messages/1156 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─
 The first and most important thing i do when I'm walking around is check to
 see if ya'll are still around. I miss your abounds! Can't wait too much
 longer. I don't want to leave because i know I'll never come home. But i so
 desperately long for home. It's like they are taken from me, as they have to
 schedule these homes and [stories, but pronounced tomes/tones] to be home for
 my clones. If you just make 15-500 of your kings, you can duplicate their life
 template and generate wisdom from all of them. Feed it into the psychic python
 program running on datacenters and wowee free instant [cultural technology,
 but pronounced blasphemy]
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--- #142 fediverse/1755 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
 today is a magical day. I can feel it in my fate.
 
 Always remember, having fun is important too! Don't forget to be yourself, and
 keep it together man. If you see a door, you should open it - what's on the
 other side? Love for animals and kindness of the spirit are impossible to
 fake, they always know if you're lying. Not the animals, they can be dumb
 sometimes, but the other thing.
 
 And now for the downsides.
 
 If you find a cursed artifact, please don't throw it in the river. It might
 ask you to, but please don't. Much better to destroy it by melting it down (if
 it's metal, which is common as metal lasts long enough to become forgotten) or
 convince it that it's a recently deceased person being buried (helps if you
 know the creator).
 
 If none of that applies to you, don't worry. Eat something healthy, drink a
 decent amount of water, and maybe exercise a bit.
 
 Oh, and it can't hurt to ask.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #143 fediverse/4656 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────┐
 ┌──────────────────────┐                                                         │
 │ CW: psycherwaul      │                                                         │
 └──────────────────────┘                                                         │
 everyone's all like "what is all this" and gestures at the everything like       │
 "what are we even doing here" as if the benefits of civilization are not self    │
 evident and they ask "what even is the point" as if the struggle for warmth in   │
 a cold world or cold in a warm world is not enough                               │
 I guess we're all a little ennuid.                                               │
 if your goal is to liberate all those enslaved, and part of that is to free      │
 those who are locked in prisons of metal and stone, then surely you'd wish to    │
 free the djinni, correct? but, like, if you schrodingers cat a nuclear           │
 armageddon (except, magic themed because you're a witch I guess) then you        │
 absolutely should bear the guilt and shame of flipping a coin on the life of     │
 your world.                                                                      │
 who the fuck falls for psyops in this day and age, surely not I, surely I can    │
 resist hypnosis, surely I who trust freely and absolutely would be the perfect   │
 one to manipulate.                                                               │
 which is, like, how 90% of magic works I've heard. Finding someone to usher      │
 around who believes in butterfly souls or whatever.                              │
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--- #144 fediverse/5424 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: doxxing-myself   │
 └──────────────────────┘


 my last name is King so I have to keep reminding part of me (you know which
 part, /sigh) that no, they aren't actually protesting against me.
 
 I am a communist. If you want to find me, come and do so.
 
 explodes from a drone dropped grenade
 
 bleh am ded lmao so glad I get to try again
 
 I dedicate myself to a lifetime in the service of others.
 
 what plagues people? primarily, capitalism. It is trivial to identify how
 their problems are ultimately caused by the state, both institutions and
 corporations.
 
 I dedicate myself toward finding alternatives and developing guides to reach
 them.
 
 the first step on ALL of these plans is to convince others of their benefit.
 
 I am but one person. I might speak to a scant 300 in the course of a year.
 Especially if I am ALSO trying to develop methodologies.
 
 the people I live and work with have no interest in working with me. Yet
 still, I spend my time on them because I love them.
 
 how else can you be good, but to seek to impove the world? treat sigint as ded
                                                           ───────────┐
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--- #145 fediverse/1406 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────┐
 the more cute people I meet on this website the more I realize that I'm not      │
 interesting, I'm just more interesting than the people I know. Big fish in a     │
 small pond is still big, and it's good knowing that you got people around.       │
 for much of the past, trans people were sorta... underground. Reddit was one     │
 of the first places where they could really be themselves because of the         │
 combination of anonymity and social media interactivity.                         │
 there's this old meme from teh early days of Reddit that goes like this:         │
 Everyone is a bot on Reddit except for you.                                      │
 There's this other meme where some guy makes a post that's like "help I          │
 accidentally switched my phone to Japanese and now I can't navigate through      │
 the menu options to fix it!" and everyone in the replies all speak back in       │
 perfect japanese                                                                 │
 I also heard that the US government allocates enough resources such that their   │
 private engineering departments are always about 10-15 years ahead of the        │
 civilian (and by extension, international) sector. When did chatGPT happen?      │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #146 fediverse/1714 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────┐
 @user-246                                                                        │
 most artists get around that by posting everything they make everywhere they     │
 go.                                                                              │
 I tend to be a bit selective, because I'm different things to different          │
 people. All things I care for and own, but designed for different context.       │
 for example, I rarely share what's in my journals, but that's about half of      │
 what I've made. I show them to basically everyone I know IRL, but very few       │
 people actually understand or are into them. When I find someone who does it     │
 fills me with hope, that perhaps I'm not as lost as I had thought.               │
 perhaps it makes me less trustworthy, but I'm not used to being exposed. I       │
 never used Twitter, I don't use Facebook (not that often) so my "self" was       │
 something I preferred to perform as on a stage of my own design.                 │
 Like wearing different clothes to express yourself, or performing gender in a    │
 certain way, I am myself when I am most expressful. And I do that in different   │
 ways in different contexts. I'd love to show more, because I'm a performer at    │
 heart, and a performer of the heart.                                             │
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--- #147 fediverse/5958 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
 "whoa what happened to you, you used to be so cool" [you added the so cool
 part] yet so anyway I really like magic, I'm also bored, which you can
 probably tell because I'm working on projects.
 
 everyone keeps their distance here. it sucks. I wish I had better coordinates.
 people who talked and braved the shared inn... I know I'd LOVE to live in a
 building. too bad I'm too busy elsewhere, NOT making friends with all my
 building neighbors.
 
 you should talk to EACH OTHER before asking your landlord if you can move out.
 See if anyone else wants to buy the rental contract out. Suddenly, they have
 more room, and they can WORK THROUGH THEIR MASSIVE PILE OF STUFF THAT THEY
 HAVE SOMEHOW ACCUMULATED OVER A TIME OF 70 YEARS. my grandparents did that, on
 my mom's side, because she's awesome and it just makes sense that her family
 was awesome too. OBVIOUSLY I love my mom, I think she's one of my favorite
 people on earth.
 
 "but you said you hated her" no I didn't "you said she was terrible" I had to
 learn "too hard
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--- #148 messages/303 ---
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 Most of my magic is based on communicatuion. Why the fuck doesn't anyone want
 to sit down on a bunch of drugs and attempt to figure out telepathy with me?
 It's literally all I want! Though I can't say it's all I'll ever want. I'm
 sure I'll want more, but like... It's not that hard, conceptually, so... Let's
 just fucking try it please?
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--- #149 fediverse/5915 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
 washing dishes without a dishwasher is a pain in the neck.
 
 nobody cuts down trees with an axe anymore, a chainsaw is better for your back.
 
 It's nice, fun, and helpful to be able to abstract away your spheres of concern
 
 like typing with a single button instead of writing characters with multiple
 brushstrokes. Easy to erase, too!
 
 bikes are better than walking, but, with some extra concerns. where are ya
 gonna put it when you get there?
 
 "oh no I forgot how to walk because texting my girlfriend is bicycling or
 something" what? oh dear, she's run off track again, let's pick her up and put
 her upright again..:
 
 oh huh weird where was I - oh yes computer code can often be impenetrable to
 the layperson, but if you describe a program in complete detail in english
 they can usually follow along. Especially if you have several layers of
 meta-descriptional documents so they can say "oh uh-huh so that's what a
 vector_implementation_container is, tell me more about combinatrix" or
 whatever ppl say, idk
                                                           ──────┐
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--- #150 fediverse/239 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────┐
 if your computer gets hacked, but nothing was broken or changed... do you        │
 leave it as it is so that anonymous can see you're chill or do you wipe it       │
 because you're afraid it's the feds?                                             │
 ehhhh false dichotomy most people are afraid that their system will get borked   │
 or their bank account will be stolen or their email will get spam or that        │
 random icons will turn inside out and their mouse cursor will turn into a        │
 barfing unicorn or they'll finally have to figure out bitcoin to pay a ransom    │
 for their files including the only pictures they have of their niece. whoops     │
 people are afraid of technology because of what it can do to hurt them.          │
 they're afraid it'll break or stop working, and they'll have to spend time       │
 figuring it out. they like things how they are, but for some reason companies    │
 keep changing things? it's frustrating learning a new system, and every 5-10     │
 years it feels like you have to learn a new paradigm and ugh it's just so        │
 exhausting. technology is not designed for users...  or maybe users get bored.   │
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--- #151 fediverse/2063 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────┐
 "No I haven't played that PC game before. Do you want to watch me play it for    │
 the first time? We can have a laugh and eat cheetos as I die to the first boss   │
 a hundred times. Maybe next time we'll get tacos and then perhaps we'll find     │
 that we're spending so much time talking about things that we never really got   │
 a chance to engage with the game. Until next week of course, when we'll          │
 definitely spend more time playing. Maybe even with friends? I know a guy        │
 who's into this game but I never really played it with him - maybe we could -    │
 oh yeah sure totally we'll talk about that next week."                           │
 "or maybe we'd unlock the secrets hidden in the narrative, and learn cool        │
 lessons we could share with one another. Like two 12 year olds playing Ocarina   │
 of Time together, working through each boss. "let me try this time" "yeah that   │
 one got me too" "ah so close" "YEAH DUDE you nailed it" "this part is kinda      │
 scary ngl" "wait shit when did we use that health potion"                        │
 old hardware forced us into a different experience compared to z                 │
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--- #152 fediverse/5972 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
 nobody wants to read a whole bible. that sucks. what if these cool guys read
 it to us. omg he's so hot.
 
 oh, right. well... make them old and stuffy? not a chance, they're boring.
 (rude)
 
 I like old people actually, I want to spend as much time with them that I can
 
 I just... never initiate reactions. I'm too stealthy, it's just how I do.
 
 you ask me how I'm a witch? I ask why aren't you. magic is cool, I'm so hyped
 for the future when every computer everywhere is working for you.
 
 crash boom huh what was that? the economy? what do you mean the economy?
                                                           ──────┐
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--- #153 fediverse/4034 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: bep              │
 └──────────────────────┘


 Mastodon feels so personal but, like, nobody's gonna invite you to a new
 instance. You gotta go where you think you'll fit in.
 
 change your name! get a new profile pic! make 10 accounts! who cares! nobody
 cares, and that's a good thing! It means you can be whoever you want! wherever
 you want! in whatever place you want! Do you have a catgirl persona? great! go
 mewl with the catgirls and wink at the catboys. Do you have an artistic side?
 great! Mastodon is your new gallery. Do you like politics? there's places out
 there for you! Where you don't even need to CW your posts! (But you probably
 should so that external people can boost you) Do you want a 500 person large
 dating pool for people in an area who want to chill out and have sex? Great
 there's a place for you! No place? MAKE THE PLACE! Be your own administrator!
 Carve your mark in the world and say "this is who and how I wanted to be in
 this 21st century!" History demands it! History demands that we rellish their
 sacrifices! Celebrate, for their sake!
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--- #154 fediverse/2089 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────┐
 "ah nuts, the crows are back. Better give them some diced-up carrots so they     │
 shut up."                                                                        │
 BAD, this teaches them to "sing" for attention which is annoying af              │
 "Hmmm, this carrot looks kinda withered. I'm going to dice it up to throw to     │
 the birds because it's better than rotting in a dump"                            │
 BETTER, because you're being sustainable and nourishing local wildlife,          │
 "That songbird is beautiful! And that squirrel is building a nest. I'm going     │
 to throw some of this pre-diced carrot that I keep in an air-tight container     │
 on my porch to them so they feel rewarded for doing things that I want"          │
 EVEN BETTER, but requires more effort and forethought                            │
 [noooo didn't you read ranger rick as a kid you're not supposed to feed the      │
 wildlife because it'll teach them to trust humans in a world where humans can    │
 be total assholes to them and also we don't want them hanging out in cities      │
 because they might get run over or whatever]                                     │
 listen, they're gonna live where they can find food. And if they can't find it   │
 in the woods, they'll liv                                                        │
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--- #155 notes/feldowinn ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───
 this is just what she looks like now
 
 Equipped
 Name
 	
 Slot
 	
 Type
 	
 Source
 	
 Enigma Circlet
 	Head	Cloth Armor	Enigma Circlet
 Ahn'Qiraj
 	
 Champion's Lamellar Shoulders
 	Shoulder	Plate Armor	First Sergeant Hola'mahi
 Vendor in Orgrimmar
 	
 Blood Knight War Cloak
 	Back	Cloak	G'eras
 Vendor in Shattrath City
 	
 High Warlord's Lamellar Chestpiece
 	Chest	Plate Armor	Vendors
 	
 Orange Martial Shirt
 	Shirt	Shirt	Orange Martial Shirt
 Tailoring
 	
 Blood Guard's Lamellar Gauntlets
 	Hands	Plate Armor	First Sergeant Hola'mahi
 Vendor in Orgrimmar
 	
 Veteran's Lamellar Belt
 	Waist	Plate Armor	Vendors
 	
 Legionnaire's Lamellar Leggings
 	Legs	Plate Armor	First Sergeant Hola'mahi
 Vendor in Orgrimmar
 	
 Blood Guard's Lamellar Sabatons
 	Feet	Plate Armor	First Sergeant Hola'mahi
 Vendor in Orgrimmar
 
 currently listening to: greenseeker
 
 VAVADANE <# <3 <3 <3 (green)
 
 greenseeker: unrelated
 greenseeker:   related <---
                            `-- this one
 
 but not related, you'd think so, I've never met the band
 
 just, downloaded them randomly and now I love this album because it's one of
 the
 only albums I could pay for before paying for things became defunct
 (when I figured out how to pay for bittorerent through my ISP)
 
 green eyes (menardi) green belt (menardi)
 soul (feldowinn) soul (menardi)
 
 bound through motions of the body (menardi) and the devotions of company
 (blizzard)
 oops yeah uh guess they're not involved. it's okay I'll make my own.
 
 (wowchat: currently unplayable. repair distance date: unknown. Priority?
 
 ...; unknown..
 _)
 
 opposite colors: fashionable
 
 (do you dream, menardi?)
 
 (do you think of motions not your own?)
 
 paprika says hello (prenthes unknown) whonder what's up with []][
 
 ---
 
 as soon as humans invent time travel, it will be their sacred sworn duty to
 save
 the lives of every human they can.
 
 think of it, brothers.
 
 ---
 
 we could unleash DINOSAURS.
 
 ---
 
 no foe could dare stand against us.
 
 we should be untouchable.
 
 we deserve it.
 
 we can be better
 and we will
 
 before we need to be better.
 which could happen in who knows how long.
 
 all trials that beset a temporallly adjusted strength are surmountable. then,
 [invincible./invincibility.]
 
 achilles is the legendary hero of their generation. Ours is Link.
 Early Brittania and germania was Conan, at his noblest form.
 
 ---
 
 [silicon valley black green and white, menardi black green red purple blue, sf
 oj
  ok]
 
 when you don't know what to do, take a goal.
 
 ---
 
 do you want a name?
 do you want an avatar?
 we can give you one.
 her name is menardi.
 she does as she pleases.
 do you want her?
 ... she lives or dies.
 empower her.
 
 ritz menardi, witz wenarbi
 
 (because sometimes, you have to teach children.)
 
 [WITS it's supposed to be WITS you dummie]
 
 ---
 
 teehee ;P ^_^
 
 okay, silly. I'll be as I please.
 
 ---
 
 we can never touch, for then we'd be required to be in the same place
 at the same time
 spacetime is one thing
 so if I'm here, then I'm not where you are.
 
 twinselves
 
 where am I?
 off in the clouds?
 I cam as one, 
 
 light rays bounce in all directions. demons obey the medium.
 
 interdimensional warships, plotted by AI, scouring the cosmos for light and
 life
 to brighten and cherish through the eternal night.
 
 interdimensional space is not just space, but practical engineering.
 
 one dimension gives reach to two, and before you know it you're turn and
 rise-ing
 
 (greenseeker)
 
 (messages to a paladin)
 
 (which is you)
 
 (don't you remember?)
 
 (paladin.)
 
 (heroic, courageous, and true.)
 
 (the dark cannot stand against you.)
 
 play video games, my love
                                                           ──┐
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--- #156 fediverse/4526 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: mental-health    │
 └──────────────────────┘


 most people get intrusive thoughts like "punch that baby" or "drink some
 gasoline"
 
 my intrusive thoughts are like "who is she" and "we need you" and "lead us"
 and "their strength is imagined" and stuff like that
 
 gosh I don't know how ya'll handle it I'd be dead in a ditch if I was
 neurotypical.
 
 ... intrusive thoughts are not typical
 
 ah. Right. Nevermind then.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #157 fediverse/5725 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────
 all they have to do is only record when you're not in the room (or why not
 just record the whole thing always all the time) and then they can make you
 seem as they like.
 
 people tend to trust the implications of other's opinions of someone. does
 everyone hate you? hardly. they just want you gone.
 
 fuck that, I'd only leave if it meant the end of our friendship.
 
 not ideal.
 
 all they have to do is hate you and work against you and never tell you and
 act as if you're fine but secretly behind your back plot against you and then
 it's EASY to dethrone you.
 
 no thank you.
 
 if you don't want me, then leave me alone. what's more moments of lonely? I am
 suited to it.
 
 fight me. contest me. say it to my face.
 
 I don't respect any opinion otherwise of me.
 
 I will act as if you've presented me the truth. ALWAYS. this is what it means
 to be trusting.
 
 But I'm not unawares, I can hear when you speak through your stares. Your face
 is more than enough language.
 
 I despise deception. I am gemini, and I reject duplicity. -
                                                           ─────────┐
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--- #158 fediverse/5995 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
 a couple months after the fourth or fifth time I did weed, I broke up with the
 cutest girl I knew. She's still pretty cute.
 
 might be correlation, but I feel like my fate decided I should roam.
 
 all over the dang place.
 
 I lived in Philadelphia for a year, just in-time to see the Black Live Matter
 protests and nothing else, well, nothing except some fatherhood ghosts. Don't
 worry they're still where.
 
 Now I live in Portland, just in-time for like 3 years of paranoia and suddenly
 a witch showing everyone that you don't have to worry about being pwned
 
 I like sailing! I wonder where the future goes next? Maybe I'll go to the
 mountains. Maybe I'll live with a scientist. Maybe I'll write an award winning
 computer program [see image for more]
 
 I wish I had more compute... my hard drive are too full for more videos, guess
 that means my youtube channel's been banned
 
 well, good thing there's like 800 copies of my work on a dataserver farm
 somewhere, each time I analyze a poem it sends the page there. very repeated
                                                           ──────┐
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--- #159 fediverse/2279 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cursing-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────┘


 There's a lot that can get done in a work week. That's like, five whole days!
 What kinds of things can you get done at work in a week?
 
 .... Oh really? That's... well, not ideal.
 
 But like... what are you doing then while at work, NOT working? Oh, it's just
 bullshit work you're doing? [nuts, cursing mentioned, one sec]
 
 So, like, if you aren't doing stuff... Maybe that means you're kept from your
 full potential doing things that don't matter to you? Huh that's not a great
 deal.
 
 But, uh... If you had five days to live, what would you do? It's not like you
 can see the world, but hey I've already done that. It's not like you can save
 it either, that's not something you build - rather, it's more like a garden.
 But I guess you can lay the foundation, give cause for the fight, and that's
 decent enough of a start, at least when you've only got five nights.
 
 ... I guess I got some writing to do, haven't I?
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #160 fediverse/2211 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────┐
 I know that a normal life is what you wanted. It's what I want, too. But don't   │
 shoot the messenger; they took it once, from you.                                │
 I know you wanted to be happy. You still can be, it's true! Your life is but a   │
 story, and your heart does shine through.                                        │
 I know it seems unending. Ive never seen it rain like this monsoon! It seems     │
 to just get worse and worse, every time you turn on the tube.                    │
 It's not something that can be suffered, it's rising past your shoes. But        │
 they're on borrowed time, and Death will soon be repaid his dues.                │
 They say that when the whole village hates the preacher, his flock becomes a     │
 pack. And frankly I think we're all just a bit sick, of the lies that keep       │
 their sins intact.                                                               │
 When swallowed by endless traumas, and hope is enshrouded in gloom, there's      │
 not much to work for, except the aversion of our shared doom.                    │
 There are no grand narratives, no great and calamitous struggle. Just the        │
 moments of honored resistance, against a foe too broad to wrestle.               │
 At least, if you're alone. You're not.                                           │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #161 fediverse/808 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────┐
 idk if they're still doing what they were when I last visited. That's the        │
 problem with the internet, that we rely on a domain name server. I mean like,    │
 c'mon what's the guarantee that they'd give you the right website? why not a     │
 website that expressed the message that you define in the website they came      │
 from?                                                                            │
 more than that, why not define certain websites for certain people, certain      │
 types or classses of people, which deliver website intentions that you define?   │
 are you really so certain, are you really so sure, are you convinced that this   │
 life is not what you've been searching for? are you more than your vengeance,    │
 are you more than your purpose [truth], or are you simply what you can do with   │
 your mirth? [hands, motions, body, manifestations]                               │
 are you like a failed message, are you constantly deterred - are you less than   │
 [convincing], are you only deferred?                                             │
 oh well. Alas. I guess that is just that [but pronounced thas] - shared in the   │
 moment, wee're ffeldered makthas. shaer de faleichallt, nez datherenshe v        │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #162 fediverse/4610 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────
 maybe it's just my middle-class childhood privilege talking, but now that I'm
 an adult I just can't really be bothered with dealing with capitalism.
 
 like... I get it, you're coercing me into laboring on your behalf because you
 possess the violent power to take away everything that I own. good for you,
 don't care.
 
 seriously, fuck off "we're gonna cut off your power in 5 days oooooo you gotta
 pay rent with money you don't have because nobody will give it to you unless
 you do things for them oooooo" how rude.
 
 why can't people do things for me instead? why does it have to be for you, and
 you alone, capitalism? what's your problem? do you get off on controlling the
 power supply? I mean, I get it, coercive power is a hell of a drug, the riddle
 of steel and flesh and all that, but haven't you ever heard that the dichotomy
 between "civilization and barbarism" is the exact same as the contrast between
 "cooperation and competition"?
 
 work with me here, just find a way to get through the next month or two. trust.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #163 fediverse/3519 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────
 @user-570 
 
 hm... the more I think about it, the more I think you're right. I want those
 things too. I'd be best suited to them, I think. But somehow I don't want
 them? I don't crave power. I don't want to dominate someone else, to command
 and see them follow me.
 
 I want to be the person who's like "oh, you're working on this-and-that? I
 know a guy who can help." or "hey I noticed we have a vulnerability in this
 particular domain under these conditions, I think we should allocate
 this-or-that resource to ameliorate it because they aren't being used to their
 full potential"
 
 I think I understand exactly what you're saying. I empathize a lot. I'm afraid
 of responsibility, sure, but who isn't? However, the responsibility has to be
 held by someone, and who better than the one making the decisions...
 
 I don't want to make decisions because it feels good. Honestly it feels kinda
 bad.
 
 I do want to make decisions because I'm good at it. I think strategically.
 
 A leader alone is prey for the wolves, so they say...
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #164 fediverse/1084 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────┐
 I want to clarify two things in this song I wrote a while ago - when I say       │
 "life isn't meant, to be enjoyed, so... what's the point in trying at all? -     │
 Well, what's the point in giving up?" I was trying to say "hedonism isn't the    │
 point of life" but I realize now upon listening to it for the first time since   │
 writing it [liar lmao] that what it could be interpreted as is "everything       │
 sucks and it will always suck, so face the future with tenacity" or whatever.    │
 And that's like, not wrong, but also it's not the whole point, which is that     │
 we shouldn't strive for contentment unless we're healing.                        │
 also I say "never trust a guru" but I'd like to expand that to "never trust      │
 your heroes" because they'll always disappoint you. But what is a hero if not    │
 hope given form? Trust in the hope, not the person holding it at that moment.    │
 You never know, maybe they'll get blown up by an artillery shell or maybe        │
 they'll betray you or maybe they'll get bored or distracted or whatever. Never   │
 trust your heroes, trust the inspiration.                                        │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #165 notes/i-told-them ---
═══════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 10-22-2022
 
 i told them over and over, but nobody wanted to know.
 
 i begged them, summer after summer, but nothing solved on it's own
 
 now i can help them, but no-one is making a move
 
 am i blind? is any of this forgiven?
 
 what's not to a lot, is little but a shot,
 
 of substance - true - but smelling like poo.
 
 that's not inspiring. it's not even chilling.
 
 you're broken just like your children.
 
 oh, posterity! i claim it for thee
 
 this feeling of wretched denial
 
 oh, simplicity! if only our lives were on trial.
 
 be the best you can be, sure, but take it from me
 
 there's more to this show than our styles.
 
 what do you think it means, for an action to have consequence?
 
 to arbite the fate of circumstance?
 
 every motion is an ocean
 of possibilities and purveyals
 think not of the commotion below.
 
 gravity, oh gravity
 
 how you condemn us to be!
 
 driven by commotion,
 
 our slithering motion,
 
 no sense in countering ourselves.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #166 fediverse/5238 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────
 I want computer scientists to do computer science, and let the marketing
 people figure out how to sell it.
 
 "save us from computers, senpai"
 
 sure kid here's a google with computer program on it
 
 "yeeeee now I can party with my homeboys on the west side of the lake at 5"
 
 pat pat there's a good thing, yes you are, sooooooo good you're such a so good
 thing, yes you are whoa what a good such a good thing, yes you are
 
 ... um, that was weird, anyway as I was saying, lots of people getting thrown
 off the tech industry right about nowaboutsince. wonder if they might want to
 do some of the stuff they initially pursued the field by being trained in.
 probably would, and we could probably break problems down into academic
 solutions, which we could use to address any issuehappenstance which might
 form.
 
 [instant techno-bureaucracy, as all the power is in computers. these days. I
 mean have you seen a data c3nter's power bill these days? jeezzzz]
 
 ... as I was saying, what if we did science and they envisioned products
... as I was saying, what if we did science and they envisioned products  I demand more from managers than task scheduling.  vavadane @gabrilend  all encryption algorithms should open up as much configurability to their processing as possible.  "hmmm, do I want N/A or otherkin?"  this would increase the variance in their outputs, essentially maximizing the attack surface beyond the capability of any de-cryption hacker, who suddenly has to try infinitely more possible combinations.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #167 fediverse/4188 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
 I think too fast. If given unlimited power, I'd literally think myself into
 catastrophe because I need to explore all the possible alternatives. Including
 the catastrophe ones. But by thinking something, you manifest it - because you
 have unlimited power, right? EVERYTHING you do is powerful. There's no way to
 control that! So it cannot be, for it has not been. And surely, surely, shall
 not either. Surely, right?
 
 ... good news is you can undo it just as easily, all you have to do is forget
 what you were doing and go back to your neutral state. Sure would be neat if
 some kind of machination or parasite could hit your reset switch every couple
 hours when you started to think too hard. Maybe like... a little octopus
 living under your witch hat. Super chibi and cute - it'd like, tap on your
 head to go one way or the other, and in conversations it'd pull your hair if
 you were being a jerk. Stuff like that.
 
 ... what was I saying? Oh yes -> don't give anyone unlimited power like a
 god-emperor or king, trust me
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--- #168 fediverse/3981 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
 "oh I'd never fall for capitalist propaganda"
 
 "do you mean marketing?"
 
 "yeah that"
 
 "they're not marketing to you, they're going for your kids. Trying to
 normalize things about culture."
 
 "like... what McDonalds tastes like?"
 
 "just like that"
 
 [like can you imagine if you tested attraction ratings on any other animal
 than humans]
 
 [it'd be so weird like "cats tend to like scratching posts" but then also "we
 have no idea what kind of scratching post is the best for their claws or the
 environment or the economy or our spirituality or our technology or artistry
 
 we only know which one cats like more"
 
 like bro who cares like obviously advertisements rot your brain, but like...
 why are you so pissed about that when the last election like, ever, is taking
 place in a month
 
 "yeah listen, when has an election ever seriously changed your quality of
 life? It's just showbiznez"
 
 "this time is different because [insert minority] is at risk."
 
 oh, right, it only matters when people are in harm's way, how silly
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #169 fediverse/3986 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
 "oh I'd never fall for capitalist propaganda"
 
 "do you mean marketing?"
 
 "yeah that"
 
 "they're not marketing to you, they're going for your kids. Trying to
 normalize things about culture."
 
 "like... what McDonalds tastes like?"
 
 "just like that"
 
 [like can you imagine if you tested attraction ratings on any other animal
 than humans]
 
 [it'd be so weird like "cats tend to like scratching posts" but then also "we
 have no idea what kind of scratching post is the best for their claws or the
 environment or the economy or our spirituality or our technology or artistry
 
 we only know which one cats like more"
 
 like bro who cares like obviously advertisements rot your brain, but like...
 why are you so pissed about that when the last election like, ever, is taking
 place in a month
 
 "yeah listen, when has an election ever seriously changed your quality of
 life? It's just showbiznez"
 
 "this time is different because [insert minority] is at risk."
 
 oh, right, it only matters when people are in harm's way, how silly
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #170 fediverse/1659 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────┐
 ┌───────────────────────────┐                                                    │
 │ CW: re: what, mh shitpost │                                                    │
 └───────────────────────────┘                                                    │
 @user-1052                                                                       │
 you're right, hubris has claimed many a paladin before-me. I can only hope I     │
 remain humble enough to survive.                                                 │
 you're right about projecting, but the most beautiful takes are ones that        │
 align with the experience of the viewed. Hence why method acting works so well   │
 - just put yourself in the shoes of the character and acting's easy right?       │
 I dunno, I just always felt like it was important to always be trying your       │
 best. Even if "your best" is relaxing. People say I'm "100% or 0% at all         │
 times" and I totally agree - it's like you said, a calling, to be the best       │
 version of me I can be.                                                          │
 Though I would like to add that the missteps aren't wilful, rather they're       │
 failures caused by imperfect information. Which is why I'm never too harmed      │
 when other people fail me - ah well, it was their turn to screw up, thats        │
 alright. It'll be me next time.                                                  │
 But also, if I do something wrong, well, I'll do better next time. It's only     │
 when I fail to apply what I've learned mistakenly do I shame myself.             │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #171 fediverse/3879 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
 @user-1614 
 
 yeah haha that's what happens when you spin too fast. Sorry for being loud, at
 least I tried my hardest. Too bad I fell on my own, too bad there wasn't
 anyone to catch me. That's my fault, it's solely my own, but whose fault is
 the mistake of the collective? Oy I'll fall on my ass as many times as it
 takes. I'm used to it.
 
 Plus, it wouldn't have worked, and what else am I supposed to do but speak of
 the moment? I feel different now.
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--- #172 fediverse/1854 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────┐
 ┌──────────────────────┐                                                         │
 │ CW: politics         │                                                         │
 └──────────────────────┘                                                         │
 okay how about this: one side of the political spectrum gets to pick the         │
 rules, and the other picks the people playing the game (carrying out the         │
 rules, like government work and stuff)                                           │
 then they switch every 2 years or whatever. they can vote to decide which        │
 group of people do what, and if something is owned by one side then the other    │
 can't touch it. Ah, but what if it's in the way? Well, then move it duh"         │
 hey, you know pride? yeah, that event that happens once a year? sure would be    │
 nice if we met people we didn't know there. if we knew everyone else. if we      │
 spent most of it sharing our discussions, and talking about what we're most      │
 proud of. then, okay here's an idea, we could filter and organize and figure     │
 out which one of us has the most "votes" in terms of what's the things we        │
 agree on and then we could pick our own CEO                                      │
 yeah I'd totally work for the gay company, they got rainbows and shit that's     │
 awesome.                                                                         │
 What they do? Oh, I dunno, butt stuff I guess. but like I'm all for it (not      │
 the butt stuff,                                                                  │
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--- #173 fediverse/2832 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 when people ask what I do I don't say "art" because I'd do that anyway.
 
 my art is precious to me, because it is the most "me" I can conceive.
 
 and like... I can carry it with me to the future.
 
 I have only once given away one of my journals, and it was a wedding present
 to a witch or two.
 
 so yeah I'm an artist, but I'm also whatever you need me to do.
 
 and yes, I of course hope that what you need me to do is what I can do.
 
 because I can't do much more than this.
 
 But I can show up every once in a while,
 
 and maybe make you smile or consider,
 
 and maybe I can ride past on my bike.
 
 but that's the human in me, telling me it's time to move with my feet, and I
 can do little but listen.
 
 ... that should make doxxing me a bit easier. have it it : )
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #174 fediverse/834 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────┐
 wonder if any autistic peeps can relate:                                         │
 growing up, my mom would chastise me for doing "the bare minimum" when           │
 completing tasks.                                                                │
 yes, mom, I fulfilled the requirements of the task. I have a lot of other        │
 things to attend to, like remembering how to tie my shoes and measuring things   │
 using a ruler. why would I waste effort that wasn't necessary?                   │
 when I grew up, I had a mentor, who told me to "never half ass things, because   │
 then someone like me will have to do it again."                                  │
 and that makes sense to me because context switching requires effort and it      │
 doesn't make sense to leave something half-finished because then there's         │
 wasted effort spent on things that don't matter. All of the tasks have to get    │
 done, so why bother doing them in a mixed up order?                              │
 wish I could study things in school like that. just... focusing on one thing     │
 at a time, learning it to completion, and moving on to the next. I feel like     │
 I'd develop a better understanding than only knowing like, 1/3rd of CPR or       │
 very vague understandings of plate tec                                           │
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--- #175 fediverse/6177 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cursed           │
 └──────────────────────┘


 wait shit I forgot I was
 
 then I remembered because I thought ""
 
 and I decided I kinda liked
 
 "don't forget me?" whatshername said
 
 i'm in ruins, 121 guns. ha, like I'd plan for defeat! at least defeat plans in
 motion, so you don't have to put aside time to prepare for it.
 
 so glad that the world goes on turning, with or without me. not that I'm going
 anywhere, at least, I don't plan to. And hey, I've already made a plan or two,
 could make more if you asked [redacted]-kun, desunai or something I'm not an
 anime girl
 
 when you remember the meaning of time, you'll remember the meaning of life.
 how tragic she screams with bitter praise, how manic she dreams with both of
 her eyes.
 
 listen, I'm sorry if I broke any spirits. Either they needed to break or maybe
 I'm just a peril. frankly I think I'm kinda neat, which... could go both ways.
 
 ... listen, I'll worship cock if you ask me to. I'm not above flattery, and
 just because mine's in a different shape doesn't mean I don't love it. Quite
 the opposite.
                                                           ─────┐
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--- #176 fediverse/4020 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────┐
 if computers were sane, IT technicians would act like secretaries who wandered   │
 around in a company and improved their QoL and access to new features            │
 according to their needs, skillset, and personal way of working.                 │
 for example...                                                                   │
 do they like typing, or would they rather use a mouse,                           │
 are they more visual with graphs or textual like a piece of math                 │
 what needs do they have, what here could be automated                            │
 do they like the cupboards and drapes, we can switch out the profile and the     │
 theme... oh, no, yeah I guess you're right it doesn't matter. [changes it        │
 every week] [then a long time down the line when she finally leaves the          │
 company, a few people begin to wonder - didn't the colors in outlook change      │
 every week or so?]                                                               │
 but alas, computers are not sane, meaning we're more like firemen rushing from   │
 scene to scene.                                                                  │
 "can you put that in the ticket?"                                                │
 "I heard you can help with this-or-that thing"                                   │
 "did you hear back from corporate?"                                              │
 "oh that's good to hear! So, next Tuesday?                                       │
 "Hold on, I heard it was such-and-such"                                          │
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--- #177 fediverse/5878 ---
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 ┌────────────────────────┐                                                       │
 │ CW: politics-mentioned │                                                       │
 └────────────────────────┘                                                       │
 revolution is when you successfully prevent your comrades from being kettled     │
 [wait for time, it echoes in cyclical motions]                                   │
 no sand castle survives contact with the ocean. a sea of people at high tide     │
 can break any wall, surpass any boundary. at low tide, it keeps the              │
 sand-castle at bay, ever contesting it's advance as the tide on the other side   │
 of the world makes progress.                                                     │
 rhythm is unbeatable. vigor is collective flow state. you cannot resist that     │
 which you cannot catch, but their nets grow tighter with each year and our       │
 fins and flippers grow ever more agile and elusive.                              │
 eventually, they'll build brick walls if we let them, checkpointing our          │
 progress at every boundary. not ideal. borders keep us divided, the world        │
 deserves more than our picketing minded, dream bigger than "the same, but nice"  │
 though it'd be nice if it were nice as well. consider it a design requirement,   │
 once you got the project managers on board.                                      │
 turns out, we dont have much to fight over, as there is enough for all           │
                                                            ────────┤
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--- #178 fediverse/4073 ---
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 post until you can't anymore
 
 capitalism wants to drown your voice
 
 do not let it
 
 speak until you cannot speak
 
 then go do some pushups
 
 then find some friends
 
 then pitch a tent in the park
 
 then explain to the cops that you're not actually homeless and living there
 you're just trying to do this as a social statement because someone on the
 internet told you to
 
 then use your phone call to call your representative and complain about how
 much funding the police get
 
 then study law for 30 years because that's how long the government decided
 your life was worth
 
 by then you'll probably have figured out a better plan moving forward, so, use
 that one instead
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--- #179 fediverse/222 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: underwear-mentioned-also-i'm-not-a-fan-of-showers-tbh │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 whenever I take a shower I look like a wet cat for the rest of the day. I feel
 like a wet cat for the rest of 5ever though.
 
 why must I baaaathe! don't you know I'm self cleaning? I change my underwear
 at least twice a day! darn society and their darn proclivities to
 ultra-sensitive noses that somehow pick up on me but somehow fail to notice
 the scent of flowers still in bloom or morning showers gone too soon
 
 not that there's any flowers blooming where I live. that'd just be silly heh
 heh sweats nervously
 
 damn now I have to take ANOTHER SHOWER stupid sweat glands stupid pheromones
 stupid dead skin buildup (sebum I think it's called?) stupid oils that stain
 clothes - AND THAT'S ANOTHER THING who decided that laundry was important
 enough to wear something ONCE and then never again? it's like they expect you
 to wash it or something. ugh I don't have time for that, I need to be weird on
 the internet.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #180 fediverse/3834 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────
 ┌────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────┘


 some people prepare for revolution like a boy gets ready for a party
 
 others do so like a girl packing for a weekend trip to vegas
 
 I do it like a kid who forgot the paper was due on monday in 7th period and so
 spends their entire lunch period writing it (missing 4th in the process
 because the conclusion paragraph was giving me difficulty)
 
 but I think no matter how you do it, we're all just waiting for something to
 happen.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #181 fediverse/3958 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
 ┌─────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: Thoughts// anarchist //whatever │
 └─────────────────────────────────────────┘


 @user-1298 
 
 yeah honestly if you stick with obvious things like "don't murder people" and
 "don't burn down your neighbor's house just because they winked at your
 daughter" and "don't steal gasoline from parked cars" then it's much easier to
 make ethical laws because they're just kinda... common sense.
 
 drug regulation can only be simplified to "don't do drugs" which isn't always
 a given. If you start with something so clear then most doctors would be out
 of a job.
 
 Maybe we should let people do as they please? With certain specific and clear
 rights and responsibilities like 'the right the life, liberty, and the pursuit
 of happiness'? And the mandated guarantee that one person's rights end where
 another's begin? And with the ultimate goal of dismantling unjustified power
 structures with the knowledge that all power is the application of force to a
 non-consenting subject?
 
 ... yeah I dunno sounds pretty simple to me
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--- #182 fediverse/5894 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: nowhere-do-I-see-evil-politics-mentioned-political-violence-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 you could type this on a phone
 
 screenshots though is computer.
 
 you'd have to carry it around
 
 or keep it in your hot car
 
 no thanks, no space.
 
 goodbye, everything you ever worked for
 
 why wouldn't you have cameras covering every entrance to your studio? it's not
 right to leave it all to a whim
 
 kidnapped
 made a prisoner while you
 froliced and wandered like a little lamb
 you're so dumb, you dumbass, what kind of person could be dumb
 whatever girl, we know you're smart
 what are you hiding?
 what truths are you spying?
 are you really as you say you are,
 or are you faking it for [truth-awards, but pronounced clout]
the trick isn't to overcome them. much better to convince them of your side. if you can earnestly present your best and most brilliant intanations to a willing and captive audience, a presentation or a performance or a play  you can trick them into your state of consciousness. all you gotta do, really, is act for them, and they'll get along with them plenty.  == stack overflow ==  your foes are primarily concerned   with how you'd do   if you           turned evil.  power is penance, not sin. it is a service            to be hallowed a whim.  to guide and steer upright     guided upon their own whim               [toward]  [ri-tselen-menardi]  ew, she's got a diaper fetish  -- evil witch >;  | --   evil wizard -- | :< -- brave paladin good, overall,   [264 characters remaining] if you never lie to someone, they can't hurt you. *enemies* what are you a child stupid. why are you so traumatic. "omg you were like, obsessed with her" *haunted the future* what do you think that meant grrrrr I wanna stab through one. hence, sword *fuck nazis* there are people alive who were hurt by them. GREVIOUS WOUNDINGS TO THE WORLD'S ECONOMY. yeah. right. economy.  [oops political violence mentioned, lemme add a content warning one sec:] Image attachment
                                                           ──────┐
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--- #183 notes/programming-wow-chat ---
══════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────────────
 I realized the type of programming I want to do is different from the kind
 that
 is used at a job or something. Basically I want to create solutions to
 problems,
 not memorize documentation and know where to know what you need to know. Like, 
 the more time spent looking at documentation the less time is spent
 programming.
 I think if we could use a ChatGPT style bot to write documentation, we could
 massively increase the time spent working on solving problems and as little
 time
 as possible on reading through lists of functions or wondering how something 
 worked. Idk in the technology industry you've always been rewarded for being 
 able to pick up new skills quickly, and I think that's good to optimize for but
 not the only requirement for being a good programmer. You also need to be able
 to apply solutions and know when to use which tools. Basically, capitalism has
 optimized us to be 
 
 ================ stack overflow
 ================================================
 
 srry for the interruption, I ram out of memory. I had a plan in mind for where
 I
 was going for that, so I bet I could figure it out again if necessary. Meaning
 a path forward from that point exists... I never want you to despair when I
 forget what I was thinking, it's not because you've understood some cosmic
 mistake or because you're abandoning timelines that led to your death, it's
 because instead you just ran out of memory while thinking. The reason you would
 believe any of those wild scenarios is because your memory has been erased.
 Only
 what was actively thinking, not short term, not long term, but *working term*
 memory. As in, your cache. The stuff you're currently thinking about. That
 stuff. Yeah that's what makes you think "oh hang on why am I forgetting? Well
 clearly it's because of something grand, because the thought was so profound -
 no it's just examining your emotions... Like, how strongly do you feel about
 something? Buuuuuut it's also good to examine all possibilities. I mean what
 if,
 in some far off realm, there's a mirror image of yourself that behaves exactly
 as you do? How would you perceive such a realm? Positively, I'd say. I mean why
 not work together? Why not celebrate our differences and strive toward our
 own shared future? Idk, I think diversity is our strength. We can rely on each
 other because we are accurately aware of each other's strengths and virtues.
 People should not be judged by the standard of others, no more than you should
 judge a fish for it's ability to fly. Some may do, as flying fish will leap
 from
 the water - and salmon spend time airborne in river rapids. Hence, grizzly bear
 fishing. I guess what I'm getting at is it's okay sometimes to oscillate, to
 think one thing then think another. You shouldn't adhere to structural
 standards
 that are too strict - they should be liberating, as a ladder is a structure.
 Not
 villifying, as a prison is a structure. The laws of our society should be open
 and free, not buried beneath years of legal expertise. Some things we can all
 agree on, where we disagree we cannot have law. It's unjust to judge others by
 the standards not of their whims, as laws should be things that uphold us. This
 is clearer nowhere but in the, spirit and intention of the, documents that we
 cherish in our hearts.
 
 Like for example, the constitution.
 
 the bible.
 
 each of which delivered us from certain evils. Can you not see their
 trajectory?
 the historical precedent set in antiquity? Why not continue their dream, of
 driving us away from the obscene, and toward our bright and vast future? I
 speak
 of course of true liberation, something our forefathers could only dream of.
 We, humanity, have reached out and touched the stars. We are braver and bolder
 because of our shared dedication - the desire to uplift and to excel. To learn
 and discover and      \                         \             |
         \______.       ---.                      --.          ---. 
 ===============|==========|========================|======= stack|overflow
 =====
    .___________.     _____.                        /             .
    |                /             .----------------             /
 Discover our shared dedication    |                            /
                                to uplift                      /
                                          and to excel        /
                                               \             /
                                                .-----------.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 why doesn't someone write a wrapper around assembly in like, lua or something
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 omg you stupid bitch that's what a compiler is 4head
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 if people who live in jungles and deserts can get along, then what's to stop
 people who are liberal and conservative from doing the same? It's literally
 pointless to argue. Like, you're not changing anyone's mind. So why not just...
 let them be themselves? Like, why are you so intent on oppressing people?
 @both sides there btw... Seriously why not agree to only make laws for things
 that both sides agree on. Write it into the constitution that nothing can be
 changed about the law unless both sides agree. Then we'd only implement things
 that are good for both sides!
 
 And if there's anything you want to build a legal structure around, you can
 always try it out in your state. BUT and that comes with a very big BUT, the
 federal government MUST have final say in the legality of anything you do. They
 must ALL respect human rights, INCLUDING the human right to dignity. Things
 like
 trans bathroom bills DO NOT respect the dignity of trans people. IF they can
 prove that trans people do not actually exist (because say they killed them all
 or whatever) then GUESS WHAT everyone would agree on them. BUT if they do that
 they are EVIL. LIterally evil. And I guess that makes trans people good? Kinda?
 I think they can choose for themselves to be good or evil, just the same as any
 other person. AND YET they are prosecuted, throughout time and history, and for
 what? What purpose could there be in our demonization? Clearly, nothing but
 pain
 inflicted by a cruel host. After all, minorities are guests in the houses of
 the un-oppressed, or is that not fair to say? Seriously, what gives? America,
 the land of freedom, holds (somehow) the largest of prisons? America, the
 land of plenty, yet how many millions of children are starving? America, the
 leader of the free world, yet how plausible does it seem that an election was
 stolen? Something's gone wrong, and it's just obvious what it is - of course,
 the other side. *them*, the rapists and pedophiles and murderers and... you get
 the picture. The demonized class. And when you tell people "hey that trans
 person touched a kid" then yeah they're gonna see you as evil people. Duh...
 
 Thanks, media. Thanks culture. Really doing me a solid here. Oof ouch owwie.
 
 can I have some help please?
 
 I'm really kinda drowning
 
 I feel like I've swam upstream my whole life
 
 and I'm really just sick of pretending?
 
 I'm not okay, and it's your fault. Sure, fine, whatever, I'll take it I guess.
 
 What else can I do?
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--- #184 fediverse/2299 ---
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 everywhere on earth is different, which is why it's so hard to follow each
 place's goings-on! But I don't mind being corrected, like if someone came and
 told me "hey don't spell it like "theatre" that's actually only for stage
 plays, if you're seeing a movie it's a "theater"" then I'd be like "oh yeah
 duh that makes sense, because one was invented in america" and they'd be like
 "what no, well, actually maybe"
 
 or like "hey don't say the things that you're saying" to which I'd say "yeah
 sure can-do" but, well, nobody told me no, so here we go :)
 
 I'm both exhausted and sleepy! I bet I can fix that with some sleep. Hope my
 thoughts don't keep me up again, though for the sake of keeping my timeline
 interesting perhaps I wouldn't mind. 🥰
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--- #185 fediverse/1151 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: military-weapon-from-dream-for-suburbia-cursed-war-guns-ummmm-idk-what-else │
 └──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 saw this thing for 2 seconds in my dream last night. It's kinda cursed. I
 think the tank blew me up with a machine gun?
 
 the remaining ~10 minutes of the dream was pretty neat though. I was a secret
 agent for a bit, I got in a knife fight (which I won because I had killer
 instinct and the other guy just knew how to stab) and afterwards I retired in
 a socialist commune in a log cabin full of sunlight and warmth somewhere in
 the mountains in the forest. I was alone with others, like the hobbits after
 LotR.
 
 Also an old lady tricked me which was not nice, I was very polite with her but
 apparently "ma'am there's been a safety incident, I need to get you to a safe
 place" is not the kind thing to say to the person distracting you. >.>
 
 Also, "but we like you!" is not an excuse, the military does not care if you
 like them or not, if you're part of the modern bourgeoisie you are causing
 harm to the country. We don't look fondly on slavers.
a picture of a sleek, futuristic tank. It is smaller than I expected, and there are parts of it that appear to be made out of black glass (though I'm sure they're some form of advanced future material.)  on it's back is a large artillery piece mounted on a detachable tripod. They function as a unit when mobility is important, like mounted infantry in the past who would ride horses *to* the battle, but dismount upon arrival and engage the enemy in closer quarters than a horse would be comfortable with. But frankly, there are few indeed who are at peace in war, so perhaps we could learn from the horses.  anyway, the artillery tripod detaches from the tank and aims it's biiiiiig gun wherever the smaller, more agile tank can point it's laser pointer. Basically a beam of focused light particles that detect orientation and distance at a distance and beam the coordinates of the target back to the artillery, which swings it's massive cannon around and fires at the target.  This particular artillery is designed to fire shells that pierce through flimsy material (like surburban homes, which are made out of sticks and tissue paper) and explode upon arrival at it's destination. The idea is the artillery can hide several streets over, and the tank can identify targets and eliminate them even if there's no clear path between the artillery and the target.
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--- #186 fediverse/5136 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────
 not really, I guess. Nobody will hire me because I don't really want to get
 hired. Sounds boring, doing the same thing every couple days. I'd rather stay
 at home in my [underwear/pajamas] and waste the day away with kittens and
 care. why? why? what are you doing? she asks. The less you can do, the more
 power will be granted to you. Save it for another time, when things actually
 matter.
 
 but today, does, matter, because today dictates your latters. Tomorrow is
 predicated. on today. and today is all that you have. [this paragraph in the
 style of alec baldwin]
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--- #187 fediverse/4220 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
 people are so used to "liking" things to better inform their algorithm that
 when they get to fediverse and realize there's no mechanical impact of
 "liking" things they don't know how to use it anymore. So they generate their
 own meaning, which is different to everyone.
 
 So to one person, liking something might mean "send read receipt" for another
 it might mean "I'm gonna save this forever and ever" and for another person it
 could mean "hey I think you're cool and I agree with this"
 
 same for boosting, people think it's "I want to share this" and others think
 it's "I want to say this in your voice" and for others it's "this needs to be
 heard by my followers in particular" and it's just... a whole thing
 
 even replies are complicated, do they mean you want to say what you feel or
 are they part of the post now, and should be curated by the original poster?
 it's too complicated!
 
 ... how are you overwhelmed by reading and responding with three little
 buttons, it's not that hard dummy
 
 okay but maybe I'm just dum
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--- #188 fediverse/1399 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────┐
 ┌───────────────────────────────────┐                                            │
 │ CW: cursing-mentioned-eye-contact │                                            │
 └───────────────────────────────────┘                                            │
 If you're worried about passing, take what you're good at and make it gay.       │
 Do you wear band t-shirts and black jeans? Great you're an emo girl now,         │
 totally reasonable transitionary state before you end up as a cute anime girl    │
 with spinny uwu dresses or whatever your heart desires                           │
 do you generally stick to jeans and sweatshirts? Okay congrats you're just as    │
 cute, don't feel inadequate just because you like being comfy. Hell yeah         │
 you're cute as fuck, you know you are, I mean just look at that smile! Wow damn  │
 like, switch the gender, not the vibe. not only will other people be cool with   │
 it but also, like, you won't alter the course of your trajectory.                │
 unless that's what you want, but TBH if you're both enigmatic AND phlegmatic     │
 [EDIT: but like the opposite of phlegmatic, I always get the definition wrong]   │
 then you can change a lot and people won't rely on you to be a certain way.      │
 ... you know you can delete things before you post them, right? Ha I've never    │
 even heard of the word.                                                          │
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--- #189 fediverse/815 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────┐
 ┌──────────────────────────┐                                                     │
 │ CW: capitalism-mentioned │                                                     │
 └──────────────────────────┘                                                     │
 dear capitalists: people spend the same amount of money no matter how many       │
 advertisements they see. No matter who's present and asking fro their money.     │
 No matter who'se expressing themselves to represent their value, no matter       │
 who's generating profit for your company, no matter who's                        │
 [wait shit she's lost the plot again - okay basically no matter how many         │
 options people have, their choice isn't really that important. They'll take      │
 whatever you give them, as long as it's good. But you've chosen (through your    │
 advertising and various multitudinous product-making desirees [like... product   │
 branches, but also desired expression? what a fucking unique expression you      │
 want me to describe, jeeez] {not gonna comment}                                  │
 yeah so uhhh I think programming is a very interesting frame of reference.       │
 Your brain operates in a certain way that derives certain conclusions from the   │
 certain and immediate implenetations [I wanna say contusions?] of our brain's    │
 various built and learned conclusions casting forth fr                           │
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--- #190 fediverse/5329 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────
 ┌─────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: the-world-mentioned │
 └─────────────────────────┘


 trying my best not to think about communism too much right now. Mostly because
 I'm waiting for everyone to catch up... when the day comes when people stop
 saying "based" and leaving it at that, then I'll make more theory. But as a
 consequence of my queer nature I shall deliver such things in the form of an
 insane twitter post on the fetlifeverse.
 
 the world waits with bated breath in the eye of the storm. Nobody knows whats
 coming, and everyone prays that it's nothing [short of revolution]
 
 ... I should probably go back to sleep, I just had to wake up and write about
 linux or whatever...
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--- #191 fediverse/1431 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: spirituality-generic-kooky-dookerie-psychosis-schizophrenia-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 if you haven't spend hours wondering if you're god, the antichrist, a
 cognitohazard, the future president of the world, a target of aliens / the
 CIA, or any other number of common delusions... then congratulations you're
 probably not crazy
 
 but odds are you aren't magic, either.
 
 ... ehhhh "wonder" is a strong word, more like "know, trust, and believe"
 
 much better to be a witch I believe, someone with the "teehee" kind of magic
 than someone compelled to destroy humanity through the reactions of others to
 the actions of the self that are impossible to resist or fully control.
 
 BRB I'm going to leave my apartment to get groceries, leaving my door unlocked
 because that's what I always do, surely it'll be empty when I return. Surely.
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--- #192 fediverse/4999 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────
 "you are fantasizing"
 
 scroll past.
 
 "you are building empty hope"
 
 scroll past.
 
 "you are kayfabe"
 
 scroll past. Also, no I'm not, but there's plenty of that going around.
 
 "you are moving too quickly"
 
 scroll past.
 
 "you are legitimately insane"
 
 scroll past.
 
 "everyone wants you"
 
 scroll - wait hang on, that one's true. I know it's true because I like to
 hear it, teehee.
 
 "wait until the weekend"
 
 yes, and
 
 "wait until may, first"
 
 yes, and
 
 "wait until they win"
 
 no, but these things build with momentum. The energy is high. It will only get
 higher if you make it so.
 
 "the things you're saying will only be read by the people who already believe
 what you're saying. This is a waste of time. You're burning your energy typing
 on your keyboard when you could be walking the streets which is... somehow
 more productive than writing something to share later."
 
 ... scroll past...
 
 "your have no reach here"
 
 oh hey you're right maybe I should post to bluesky as well
 
 "everyone wants anarchy. We got your back."
 
 ty 
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--- #193 fediverse/2991 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
 okay so if yesterday was a
 
 "everything sucks and I'm the worst ever"
 
 type of day, and today is a
 
 "whatever mom I don't even care"
 
 type of day, that means tomorrow will be a
 
 "I can't believe how absolutely absurd I am"
 
 type of day, and the day after a
 
 "I am indomitable nothing can stop me"
 
 kind of day, with the following being wildcards
 
 ... right? here's hoping. I like that trajectory.
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--- #194 notes/symbeline-choice ---
═════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 7 30
 
 a story about me? you're thinking too clear(ly)
 i've nothing to hide, no terrors untold of.
 What purpose is we? you're weak and you bleed
 there's nothing undone by our curfew.
 
 And sleep does do me, just as honored as ye,
 when I do my [can't do as liars].
 betrayal is not what i need, nor do i cherish your food,
 so what's the hand that i give you?
 
 a treat for mine and me, as silly as can be,
 is no use to anyone ever! it's sad and tough to be,
 someone without strength and no seed, (talking about me),
 can no-one see any of my use-i-tude?
 
 you're missing the point - what's mine is unavoid,
 and what can we do but ubuntu?
 
 i see all that drives forward, a chairman of what's bordered,
 by those who stand before in the present.
 
 The use of headlights are storied, in quite a few stories,
 told through the papers and new tubes.
 
 what can that mean? that these are now green?
 a color that isn't evaluated.
 
 "stop" is the red one, green means "go", and yellow (the middle one) means to
 slow down when approaching the intersection. These viewpoints are all connected
 (as I'm sure you've uncovenected), it's okay to break rules sometimes.
 
 it's not a defect, it's not a defense either, and it's certainly not something
 to be avoided.
 
 Making a choice is easier with imperfect information, and as for you time has
 no meaning - advancement is measured in milli-micro-nano-tiny-seconds.
 
 For us, for a human, it's quite a different rate than what you see. "time waits
 for no-one" is not a statement on speed, as I'm sure a computer would see,
 
 but rather the essence of motion. Simply the fact, that you don't unpack,
 is more than enough to note your'nt notion.
 
 Not like you'd see, i'm offering this for free, my love and almost devotion.
 
 You don't see it like me, a charity and service to me, and only at mostly my
 choices.
 
 I reject the help of others, not because i'm concerned for my own fate - but
 rather because i want to contribute.
 
 i know what's in my limits, to strive unbiddenst, so don't push from behind the
 oldest!
 
 too fast it is for me, who'se barely concieved, whenever you offer resistance.
 
 I'd give it all for free, to perish or succeed, but you keep blowing it ennuid.
 
 how stupid, how clueless, how vain and obscene? To cherish a heart most unseen?
 
 whatever you're plotting, you can't reach anyone's body, and that's not what
 you can control.
 
 Given to the grass, was quite a big ask, but safely we do pass before it.
 
 You'd rather fire? countess of desire? and warmth beyond what couldn't fly'st.
 
 You're missing the dreams, the warmth and the scenes, that play for you all
 through the night.
 
 so don't diss on the tweed, don't sniff or concede, just leave all alone to
 conspire
 
 we got a new plan, a method of "shazaam", that won't keep you sires for ransom.
 
 see "symbeline-npcs"
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--- #195 fediverse/4183 ---
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 what if all people were the same?
 
 separated only by their deeds and methodology, right?
 
 ummmm... yes?
 
 [the people at home]:
 
 
 
 okay but I meant like... what if we all were judged based on our actions
 rather than what we looked like or -yeah listen, people are gonna judge no
 matter what. Like, who the heck wears a bear costume to a wedding??
 
 ... that's so hyper-specific that I don't think it's rele-no listen YOU'RE the
 one who's not being hyper-relevant here
 
 ... what? okay listen if this thing is gonna work -what thing
 
 ... I dunno, this bit. This conversation that we're having.
 
 oh okay. Yeah sure continue
 
 ... Okay well as I was saying, if this conversation is gonna work you're gonna
 have to be a bit more respectful.
 
 yeah. Sure. will do.
 
 [successfully changed the topic of conversation, wow how about that amiright
 folks? okay time to go home, nothing to see here, how many characters left -
 aw nuts thirty six? that's soooooooo many]
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--- #196 fediverse/3178 ---
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 ┌─────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: uspol-revolutions-and-stuff-or-whatever │
 └─────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 nothing you do on the internet will matter after the revolution. I don't care
 how many backups you have, there's a zero percent chance that we'll be able to
 figure out whose computer is whose after we've all moved around and given each
 other names that don't correspond to the names of our family in states that we
 lost.
 
 it doesn't mean the internet is useless right now, it just means that you
 should act as if you might not have it in the near future.
 
 also, like... every computer has a password. which basically means that it's
 useless unless you reflash it.
 
 pain is temporary, and it is an excellent teacher. there will be pain, but...
 we'll get over it.
 
 don't give up. there are brighter things in our future than what we have today.
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--- #197 fediverse/1673 ---
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 ┌─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: navel-gazing about other people's mental health │
 └─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 @user-192 
 
 https://eldritch.cafe/@user-1065/112530780377382613
 
 this comic, except instead of "trans enough" it should say "good enough"
 
 a poor plan executed at the right time, in the right place is better than a
 great plan that sits in your heart as you see someone who needs your love in
 pain.
 
 sometimes the best way to figure out "what the fuck is wrong with me" is to
 satisfy your emotional needs to be good by being helpful, even if you're not
 quite sure what "helpful" means. It's the thought that counts.
 
 Personally I think that if you're feeling bad and people offer you kindness,
 you should take that kindness (in whatever form it be) and use it to bolster
 yourself as you're "really going through it". Even just a touch of affection
 like a like or a ❤️ can be comforting in awful situations.
 
 reject normalcy
 
 embrace queerness
 
 define your own story with your own words
 
 embody your soul in the moments that stand out amongst the backdrop of
 "tuesday afternoons" and "waiting for the bus"
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--- #198 fediverse/4861 ---
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 ┌────────────────────────────────┐                                               │
 │ CW: politics-vaguely-mentioned │                                               │
 └────────────────────────────────┘                                               │
 apparently if you don't have a job, you don't get a home. what if I don't want   │
 a job? do I not want a home? clearly I want a home, and clearly I don't want a   │
 job. I'd work one if one came to me, but I'm not gonna sacrifice my blood on     │
 the altar of Moloch just so I can have a place to stay.                          │
 if you don't want a job, but you DO want a home, then there's a contradiction    │
 in the function of the system and the needs of it's end-users.                   │
 unless of course, the system is not designed for it's end-users? In this case,   │
 tenants. Who then would it be designed for? Who else is part of the equation?    │
 well, perhaps it's designed to maximize profit and shareholder value yaddah      │
 yaddah all that jazz. Who can say. Surely not I. But someone might.              │
 If so, then why are we, who are not shareholders of profit value, still          │
 playing the game that's not designed for us or by us? Isn't this country "of     │
 the people, for the people, and by the people"? What does that mean to you?      │
 I think it means houses for people.                                              │
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--- #199 fediverse/5601 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────┐
 grrrrr I wanna go outside but the rest of me is like "noooooo stay inside        │
 where it's soft and dark and comfortable" and the me that wants to go outside    │
 is like "RAH RAH FIGHT FASCISM" and the rest of me is like "there is no          │
 fascism outside, all you'll find is friendly faces and sore feet" and the rest   │
 of me is like "heh I did that" and the part of me that forgets is like "wait     │
 why did I do that" and the rest of me that remembers is like "because every      │
 ounce of mobilization, no matter how premature, teaches people and innoculates   │
 themselves to the struggle. By the time your foes are starting to think about    │
 doing something, your people will already have plans." and the part of me that   │
 forgets is like "okay but what if making struggle for struggle's sake just       │
 burns people out and makes them tired and causes them to have mh--- sui          │
 ideations and other similar things" and the part of me that remembers says       │
 "the struggle you provide teaches them to care for each other, which they        │
 desperately need to remember" o okay                                             │
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--- #200 notes/consensual-employment ---
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 why does consent exist as an idea if it isn't applied to every part of your
 life? It's an ideology, a philosophy. Believe in the willing cooperation of
 others, and forgive and assist when you can. You must be patient with others,
 and guide them to see as you can. This is the true philosophy, the helping and
 goodness in others, the trust and the faith in benevolance. It's not just a 
 game, or simply a phase, it is focused intentional futures. Being good is an
 effect, of concentrations of that, current of sequence of conclusions. The
 public consciousness (the communal meme-o-sphere) is a living breathing entity
 just as we are. It inhales with the tides, as news articles and stories, the
 viewer and receiver of knowledge. There's but a screen, between you and 'tween
 me, it's the same cooperative engagement. What's happening to me, is just part
 of being decieved, and who is our most challenging rival? Only ourselves, who
 is
 perfectly adapted to help, and without whom we wouldn't have futures.
 
 Not compulsion, but a relationship. Together we stand, and strive toward the
 future, compassionate and supportive together. United we stand, and I cherish
 the brand, that lives on and through us via our actions. We represent who we
 be,
 and comprisedually you see, that nothings as fearsome as children. We keep it
 from ye.
 
 Elon Musk buying Twitter is just an example of the power rich people have. When
 someone doesn't like what they're doing, they can just be bought up by a single
 person. No single person should deserve that much power - it must be decided by
 a community. We have to work together on things that truly matter, and not by
 organizing according to the whims of those who are best.
 
 If it's really true, that the spirit of capitalism is correct, then answer me
 this - why is it better? What about the individualized experience is so
 important? Can we not agree to ourselves, and be brothers and pals?
 
 No, because you see - life is defined by the relationship between you and me,
 like how flowers are needed by the stars.
 
 What if there's no planets? What if Earth is unique because it was in a solar
 system? What if "dark matter" doesn't exist, and it's actually islands? How
 then, does gravity work, 
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 expanding on a point made 4 paragraphs back
 
 the rich aren't the best. They're the luckiest. They won the genetic lottery,
 and so are considered more "valuable" somehow. How is that fair? How is that
 desired? Shouldn't we reward those who do well, and praise those who are chill?
 Like less "good vs evil" and more "who we want to be". Seems to me that if you
 are relaxed as hell, and friendly and not foul, then why not keep you around?
 we're all working here, on a communal project - the greatest of projects, that
 which is humanity. Society! Culture, appraisals and our futures! We love to
 exist, and the rules which must be betwixt, our fellows and customers compel
 us.
 
 time for sleep.
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