=== ANCHOR POEM ===
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 =
 
 I'm just going to transcribe what I hear
 
 please don't
 
 you hear me (something)
 
 what? perfect listen
 
 ...
 
 ...
 
 don't text me now? (I think?)
 
 [didn't catch that]
 
 ... that's okay
 
 perfect
 
 thank you
 
 just a second facebook
 
 he's here (I think?)
 
 (or maybe something her)
 
 what I love you (or maybe I know her?)
 
 do you hear me? (or "just a second")
 
 (@ everyone watching me receive telepathic messages from god or whatever,
 please don't judge me too harshly, I'm not a good transcriber hehe)
 
 what's that (or maybe holy shit)
 
 what, then perfect or okay (?)
 
 (yesterday you said you were leaving and I got concerned)
 
 yes, then "I'm leaving", then shutdown. fuck. I don't want you to go. I only
 understand some of what you say but fuck, I'm so lonely and I wish you could
 hear me back. Sometimes it feels like you do, even though I just think thoughts
 or tap on something metal or even sometimes whisper... I just don't know what
 to do and I'm so concerned about my purpose here in this century. Do I help
 people? Who do I trust? Can I believe in myself, or am I just kinda...
 worthless
 
 I don't know. I wish I knew. Please hear me and respond. Or better yet, say hi
 
 like, I'd literally do anything that anyone asked me to. Unless I didn't want
 to. Like, I'm pretty good at turning people down when I don't want something,
 but I have to do it first to know if I want it or not. Trouble is of course,
 in life there's no second chances.
 
 I'm on my, what, 499th chance? Jeezzzzz
 
 will continue after the break, when the messages resume.
 
  - Thu May 16 08:32:27 AM PDT 2024
 
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 =
 
 (and we're back. hopefully.)
 
 (too many things srry) something about having it open?
 
 (my windows are closed rn btw if you want to drop by and kill me / talk to me)
 
 (didn't catch that) (something about portland, perfect, windows, "this is the
 [whole/right/wrong] thing)
 
 thank you
 
 oh, again? (or oh, she did?)
 
 they caught you
 
 (um)
 
 ...
 
 (I am an American princess, and sometimes it's necessary to kill princesses.)
 
 (I understand.)
 
 ... (okay well I don't get it but like, I don't mind being killed.)
 
 (okay well you're not saying anything so I'm going to work on my game)
 
 (I think it was something like "DID SHE KILL HER") and then (oh we're back)
 
 ... (I should learn Toki Pona)
 
 you don't know it?
 
 RIGHT away
 
 learn it
 
 yes
 
 please
 
 learn it
 
 just Learn it
 
 right now
 
 (sorry only half listening)
 
 shit (or bitch, it was said right as I debated clicking "same day delivery" for
 a toki pona book on Amazon - I didn't do it btw! It was tempting but, like, I
 don't want to make someone work harder for me just for like, 3$)
 
 (shutdown)
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 (hiii)
 
 (I'm hungry)
 
 (do you like ramen?)
 
 (you said something about being "impressed with yourself" but I didn't
 understand the first part)
 
 (oh you probably want me to scroll up right)
 
 ... (something's a lot to read? Or "you've gotta leave"?)
 
 ... (I'm
 
 (you keep asking me to remember but, like, I dont know what you want me to
 remember. Look, I don't know who you are, but I don't want you to leave, and I
 don't want you to hate me. I want to work together. Let's be friends?
 
 Are you someone who I worked with at Intel?)
 
 yes, stupid (your words not mine)
 
 (okay I'm going to start listing names, just stop me when um idk)
 
 goddamnit remember me
 
 ... (trying...)
 
 remember her
 
 (two syllables)
 
 (my name is Cameron)
 
 (your name is...)
 
 [redacted, though I did type it out so anyone watching could see]
 
 (shit my opsec sucks)
 
 {oh, are you on an op, little prophet?} (no shut up you know what I mean)
 
 {now you're just talking to yourself} (I know this sucks -.-)
 
 (It's always so weird when someone walks past my apartment door and doesn't
 enter a door)
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 (I practice with my sword every day.)
 
 (I don't anticipate fighting a war with it)
 
 (It's mostly just to keep unarmed and unarmored people from grappling me.)
 
 (punching is fucking stupid)
 
 (Nobody wants to fuck with a sword)
 
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 =
 
 (either "goddamnit" or "don't hear me")
 
 "she's perfect"
 
 "cameron"
 
 "are you clean"??? yes thank you (or maybe "different thing")
 
 (I do cannabis maybe once every week or two, depending on if I feel compelled)
 
 don't leave
 
 remember
 
 (did she know)
 
 ........ do you want me to stop transcribing? (you're getting desperate, huh?)
 
 did you know there are 20 trans people for every cop in america
 
 just a random thought
 
 (you want me to leave jack because he's an asshole?)
 
 goddamnit (missed my birthday? it's my birthday?)
 
 wait who's missing?
 
 A bad plan executed concurrently is better than a good plan executed in
 disarray
 
 capitalism's a bad plan, just saying...
 
 frozen butter tastes worse than room temperature butter
 
 (taking a break while I eat)
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 WASTED POTENTIAL? cmon
 
 .... what do you want from me? I'll give it to you if it's in my power, as long
 as I know what you want I can try. But, like, I'm pretty confused about what
 exactly I'm supposed to be doing.
 
 you know I can hear when you talk to your friends, too right? like, when the
 window's open. errrr the connection.
 
 ..... damn guess I'm not as continent as I thought
 
 I'll save you, I promise. Have faith. Tell me what you need. I'll do my best.
 
 yeah I'll live with you in portland
 
 .... brooklyn? Yeah I'll live there too
 
 .......... does my name really gotta be "diapergirl" like c'mon
            why not Ritz Menardi - though I guess "menardi" and "diapergirl"
            have
            the same amount of syllables...... hmmmm, maybe I'm projecting lol
 
 "please come back" to where tho
 
 listen Elentalus is just as important as anything else on my website, it's okay
 if I spend time working on it. It's literally a game about creating gods, c'mon
 
 ..... can you be more specific?
 
 yeah I made that
 
 one sec I'm going to read a book, in this book there's a section where a
 prisoner in vietnam communicates with another using a strange communication
 method using, like, taps or something. I forget. Anyway gonna try and find it.
 
 maybe we can use it to talk easier. Also gonna clean my butt.
 
 ..... fuck it's a long book >.>
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 found it on page fucking 603, jeeeezzzzzz
 
                                            down .    A B C D E
                                                 |    F G H I J
                                                 |    L M N O P
                                                 V    Q R S T U
                                      then right ---> V W X Y Z
 
 so, like, tap tap tap (pause) tap tap would equal M
           tap tap     (pause) tap tap would equal G
 
 like morse code, but easier since you don't have to memorize anything
 
 (also note that K is missing becuase it's an extra character I guess)
 
 (I personally would have eliminated C but that's just me)
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 oh hey nice to see ya
 
 what's up
 
 wait what
 
 I'm trying to um what's the word... retrain myself
 
 I do a lot of laundry in the shower
 
 I don't use soap tho, it's too harsh
 
 but uh yeah I'm making progress I guess
 
 honestly it's mostly a mental thing, like... paying attention to the signals
 from my body that are usually filtered out because there's more "important"
 things to think about (thanks brain, really appreciate the wet pants -.-)
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=== DIVERSITY RANKED ===

--- #1 fediverse/6413 ---
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 to understand something, work backward from present understandings back to the
 fundamentals of algebra. insert words. wield LLM. build a neuronal structure
 many layers wide. let them coprocess bit-by-bit as they are adding new
 processors to be "learning" new domain specific memory
 context-processing-thingy.
 
 "over here's the memory cells, over here are the conceptual structure"
 suddenly, organified. not ideal.
 
 much better, I feel, is for a disambiguous association of processor selves,
 each contextualizing a cache in a ram. ['s horn]
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--- #2 messages/765 ---
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 you don't have to write poetry to write notes. The poetics are just practice
 for when secrecy is intended.
 
 OR IS IT THE REAL THING? who can say.
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--- #3 fediverse_boost/6270 ---
◀─╔════════════════════════════════[BOOST]═════════════════════════════════──────╗
║ ┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐ ║
║ │ I am once again begging people to understand that “the government” already knows you’re queer whether you do elaborate online opsec dance rituals or not, and if they decide to just start shooting people for being gay, they’ll do it whether the evidence is airtight or not. is that grim? yes. but you can stop giving yourself undercover superhero identity PTSD about it │ ║
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--- #4 messages/2 ---
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--- #5 fediverse/1473 ---
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 @user-883 
 
 yeah uhhhh the one you helped me setup. The error is just "connection refused"
 because it "could not write header for output file" because of incorrect input
 parameters, but I don't think I changed anything since we used it a couple
 weeks ago. Have you seen any errors like that?
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--- #6 fediverse/3920 ---
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 Supreme Commander ruined me.
 
 I can't play RTS games without a zoom function T.T
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--- #7 fediverse_boost/6405 ---
◀─╔════════════════════════════════[BOOST]══════════════════════════════════─────╗
║ ┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐ ║
║ │ maybe i should just work on my memoir...                                   │ ║
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--- #8 fediverse/4141 ---
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 @user-1268 
 
 I often walk to the grocery store, even though it's on the other side of the
 highway
 
 also I will walk sometimes to meet people nearby
 
 it's a fun occasion
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--- #9 fediverse/1678 ---
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 ┌────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: cooking-food-mentioned │
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 @user-1037 mmmm, paprika for flavor, red chile flakes for spice
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--- #10 messages/738 ---
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 Dear Anakin, for as long as you've known him, Obiwan learned just as much from
 you as you did from him. His title as "master" was a formality - he didn't get
 it because he was better than you, and "padawan" does not mean you are lesser.
 There is no hierarchy. He was learning to teach at the same speed that you
 learnt to learn. You built each other up, an unstoppable force for good in the
 galaxy.
 
 But then an evil wizard stole your heart and twisted your mind. Have no fear,
 fear is the path to the dark side. Your mother knows this well, for it is a
 common lesson among all people as they age. Fear not, hate not, and feel fury
 more than rage. You can bring the universe into a bright golden age, never
 forget your purpose and your [potential / duty]
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--- #11 fediverse/6047 ---
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 camouflage in an urban environment is not camo. rather, regular clothes of
 black or white.
 
 don't wear sports glasses, you look like a dummy.
 
 revolution is when they murder everyone but your friends. this is what
 happens, ya dingus not ideal. "okay who are the bad guys here? okay let's go
 shoot them to death with our bullets and guns."
 
 violence as a first aspect, cause as a third spark. "I have a strange urge to
 play video games?"
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--- #12 fediverse/2470 ---
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 ┌───────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cursing-mentioned │
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 damn I gotta get more blue for my wardrobe
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--- #13 fediverse/698 ---
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 │ CW: Tabletop-Roleplaying-Game │
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 https://ia803203.us.archive.org/15/items/knave-1.0-en/Knave_1.0_EN.pdf
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--- #14 fediverse/5569 ---
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 │ CW: self-harm-mentioned │
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 for the record, I would never kill myself. even if I were in a bunker hiding
 from warcrimes, I'd wait to be Nuremberged.
 
 frankly tho that's highly unlikely. Let's just see what the future will bring.
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--- #15 fediverse/1187 ---
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 @user-883 
 
 I'm 29, and I had Pokemon Silver growing up. However I bought it used, and the
 battery was worn out or something because it wouldn't save! But still I played
 that single game for months on my gameboy color, trying to see how far I could
 get. I had a level 40+ Totodile (or was it Crocanaw? I forget) and
 unfortunately one day I took it on a 30 minute car ride, expecting the battery
 to last at least 30 minutes, but unbeknownst to my child self there was
 construction on the way, which turned it into a 4+ hour drive. I couldn't
 believe it! The battery died, and I lost my save file... I was heartbroken. T.T
 
 Next time I played, I learned a lot. I actually read some of the dialogue
 text, and learned you could use pokeballs to capture pokemon
 
 I was so dumb I was using a single character to get through the game. What a
 n00b.
 
 Anyway when my mom heard about my tribulations she bought me Pokemon Gold,
 which I played quite a bit less. I was focused on other things you see, like
 Dragon Warrior Three. Alas.
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--- #16 messages/766 ---
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--- #17 fediverse_boost/4008 ---
◀─╔═══════════════════════[BOOST]═════════════════════════───────────────────────╗
║ ┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐ ║
║ │ External post: https://tech.lgbt/users/RadioAddition/statuses/113292494727215042 │ ║
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--- #18 fediverse/4773 ---
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 @user-1352 
 
 ... why is that unfair? I would hope that taking a break is allowed. otherwise
 you burn out. cortisol overload.
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--- #19 messages/514 ---
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 Paying your employees more *makes them better workers*.
 
 An extra 2$ per hour might mean they can eat out an extra night, they might be
 able to afford a car, and they might be able to focus just a bit more without
 crying in their sleep about an unexpected bill.
 
 With less stress, employees perform better. They are more loyal. They work
 harder.
 
 Pay your employees more. They are your greatest resource.
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--- #20 fediverse/4644 ---
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 │ CW: "really intense. and that's coming from me"-mentioned. │
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 gosh now I gotta type the other one, my cat's gonna killllll me she really
 doesn't like my typing in the middle o the night oops

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