=== ANCHOR POEM ===
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@user-246
Thanks, it means a lot. Sometimes I am a little "distant" from reality (like
tonight, tbh) but I generally always am within sight. Meaning I can still
understand what people are saying. My uhhh.... "plan" is to always be vigilant
and look for times when people cannot comprehend what I say - even the most
mundane of things - because if so then surely I am psychotic. At that point
I'll just kinda go along with whatever anyone says, even if it feels like I'm
a cow in a factory farm or whatever my mind might contrive to torture me with.
Thanks for reaching out. Sorry you've lost people. I hope they aren't gone
forever. I hope I don't go forever. We'll see, I guess.
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=== SIMILARITY RANKED ===
--- #1 fediverse/2806 ---
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│ CW: politics-social-media-spirituality │
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pretend this is an allegory for social media.
[it's not an allegory]
yeah that's why I said pretend.
okay imagine that you are sitting in a rock in a forest.
far away, about 100 feet away, there are other people, but you can't see them
because the underbrush is sooooo dense. they are also sitting on rocks.
you can speak to them, and share your thoughts - but you don't know exactly
where they're coming from because the sound has to bounce around off so many
different plants and such.
[that's not how that works] shut up
so, if you want to say anything important, it's important to have the right
tone, because people 2 or 3 clearings away can't really make out your words -
but they might hear your tone if you yell very loud.
the energy of the space you inhabit is the only thing that really matters. the
words that you say are just snickering to a friend, but the expression on your
face, the beating of the drum of your heart that reaches forth... that's what
matters most.
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--- #2 notes/trans-rights-are-human-rights ---
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"Being transgender is a mental illness" is something I've heard a lot. Online,
in media, books, and at universities. But is it really? Well, do I not feel
sick? Genuinely, every day. These words are far less common these days, having
been defeated in the #marketplace-of-ideas, and for that I am grateful. I don't
want to feel sick for my whole life. I'd love to be and feel normal, for just
one single day.
but it's never going to happen.
I'm not so attached to my life, here, in this body. Bodies are temporary, they
are the vessel with which we navigate the world. We use it to grow, change,
learn, and create art. Without it, we'd be at a loss for sins and virtues.
but they do not define us, not in our totality. We are the light that touches
the world and for that, we are grateful. To be comprised of the dust of stars
is the pinnacle of confinement. Though we are but pinpricks on the map of us,
a ripple is emanated with every movement. The hand waves, the light bends.
So to what do I owe the pleasure?
In what way am I deceived?
Reception is never great out in the forest. Or anywhere far from major
population centers. The networks of our phones mirror the networks of
transportation, creating a web of people - of signals - of light and
information, carving their way through the ephemera that is the river of time.
With distance we can see what once was mystery, and as all the words
disappeared, we lost all our fears and we're left with our true forms.
Centralized Processing Units are a bit like a city - in that respect free.
silence is a virtue.
the wandering mind is a trail to find,
with no second chances.
When I was a kid, I had a bouncy ball. I had several, but the one I remember
most was black with a perfect white circle - inside the circle, a black jolly
roger. I dreamt once of the arcs it made, as I walked down the streets of
cities I never really knew. But as I walked on, an ocean of glass separating me
from a mirror below. The me below would catch the bounce as it dropped from
above, and I'd wait to catch it - but dreams are not prophecies, they are but
the Mirror of Desire.
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--- #3 fediverse/6250 ---
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Dear my future self: I'm sorry for all the things that I do. I hope you
appreciate the gifts I leave you. Thank you for never giving up, and I trust
you to take care of me and the things I care about. I'm proud of what you've
done with me, and I'm hopeful that one day I'll be just a bit like you.
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--- #4 fediverse/6271 ---
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│ CW: re: hypothetical worst case fascism reality check │
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@user-641
it's practice. you never know when you might need to blend in. really it's
just useful as discipline, good practice to be in. I think it's okay if we
reduce our own functionality? actually? sometimes it's good to use different
email clients. hey do you know how to mathematically encrypt things well
neither do I because the designers of the computer system decided that wasn't
a very common usecase I guess.. jmean it's not like they'd spend all that
computer resources [THEY'RE SO FAST] on thinking about correlations in your
predicted pathway narratively through life. "ah help I'm in a psyop" haha yeah
we do those all the time "so uhhhh I guess we'll just talk to people and see
how they do?" wow okay it's sure nice to be part of a civil government, I
think we can find our way to the lumber producers just fine thank you very
much.
... oops sorry, a baby did electronics arts (challenge everything) I'm a
little silly don't mind me brb I gotta go see~
![it's practice. you never know when you might need to blend in. really it's just useful as discipline, good practice to be in. I think it's okay if we reduce our own functionality? actually? sometimes it's good to use different email clients. hey do you know how to mathematically encrypt things well neither do I because the designers of the computer system decided that wasn't a very common usecase I guess.. jmean it's not like they'd spend all that computer resources [THEY'RE SO FAST] on thinking about correlations in your predicted pathway narratively through life. "ah help I'm in a psyop" haha yeah we do those all the time "so uhhhh I guess we'll just talk to people and see how they do?" wow okay it's sure nice to be part of a civil government, I think we can find our way to the lumber producers just fine thank you very much. *... oops sorry, a baby did electronics arts (challenge everything) I'm a little silly don't mind me brb I gotta go see~*](/similar-different/media/1c154109c4111346.png "it's practice. you never know when you might need to blend in. really it's just useful as discipline, good practice to be in. I think it's okay if we reduce our own functionality? actually? sometimes it's good to use different email clients. hey do you know how to mathematically encrypt things well neither do I because the designers of the computer system decided that wasn't a very common usecase I guess.. jmean it's not like they'd spend all that computer resources [THEY'RE SO FAST] on thinking about correlations in your predicted pathway narratively through life. \"ah help I'm in a psyop\" haha yeah we do those all the time \"so uhhhh I guess we'll just talk to people and see how they do?\" wow okay it's sure nice to be part of a civil government, I think we can find our way to the lumber producers just fine thank you very much. *... oops sorry, a baby did electronics arts (challenge everything) I'm a little silly don't mind me brb I gotta go see~*")
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--- #5 fediverse/2993 ---
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hey, listen, I'm here at this point in life just the same as you. who cares,
right? like. nobody wants to see your personal development. You don't have to
prove yourself. Like... why would you care so much about what other people
(who you don't even know) care about what you do? like... it's fine. just...
be.
you can get better if you want, but only if you want. There's no reason to be
so concerned about what other people thingc. Just, identify what and who you
are, and then be the best what and who that you are. Thats really all there is
to it.
and yeah. It's totally unfair that some people get an easier shot at "being
who and what they are"
that's privilege, and that's stupid.
okay, sure, maybe we should conceptualize how to adapt to specific situations
when resources are limited
but like... it should be something you consent to - like "no thanks I don't
need the rocket launchers on this mis==sion==
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--- #6 fediverse/480 ---
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║ There's something important in what I said tonight. And each of you will think │
║ it's something different, which is by design. Can you find the nugget I wanted │
║ to share, to you in particular? Can you isolate the thing that is relevant to │
║ you, the person perceiving the words that I speak? Oh yeah you're only looking │
║ for things to express to your superiors because someone else told you to look │
║ for a particular type of sentiment. My bad. Sorry for being cryptic. Am I so │
║ strange for seeking the human element? Perhaps I lose myself, and I speak to │
║ the void (and by "void" I don't mean to demean you, the audience, because you, │
║ the audience, are surely comprised of people who surely have their own │
║ experience and existence. Surely nobody would seek to harm me, after hearing │
║ those things I speak. Surely we, as the human species, would not be vulnerable │
║ to the types of weaknesses that allow for critical failures in our defences │
║ such as the kind that I am professing to exploit (while being aligned to you) │
║ surely we wouldn' │
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--- #7 fediverse/1195 ---
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@user-883
alas, I live in Portland Oregon, but perhaps I might be moving to Denver in
the near future. We shall see, depends on if my boyfriend breaks up with me
for being neurotic lmao - if so then we should totally hang out
I'm into chatting. I don't like IRC very much because it doesn't save history,
and while I could save it manually it feels like a disservice to the service
to utilize it in a way that it wasn't intended. And I want to save every
conversation I have (potentially) so that some day the god-like humans of the
future might clone me to understand my wisdom or something. Idk. See attached
picture, I'm kinda crazy:
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--- #8 fediverse/294 ---
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the fact that the content warnings are part of the body text means that if you
write the body first but use EXACTLY EVERY CHARACTER like I've been doing
(most of the time, unless I'm interrupted)
like... it won't even give me a break to delete. so there's no room for
content-warnings, which ideally would be written at the beginning before
starting a thought, but as you can see mine tend to... wander. it's like I'm
living 15 different lives all at once, and they crisscross and go yonder. it's
wilding, it's empowering, it's strange and it's confusing, but through
consideration we develop new learnings and onward our future does
= so = anyway, I apologize, sincerely and deeply, if my words hurt you. I'm
sorry for what you thought, and I'm sorry for how it made you feel. I'm going
to try reserving a certain amount of characters before I start writing, so
maybe that'll help.
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--- #9 fediverse/4200 ---
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│ CW: drugs-mentioned │
└──────────────────────┘
"doing too many drugs" is a traitorous act, abusive really, to your past self,
and their hopes and dreams.
or maybe your past self owes you a debt, for they never thought to think of
you. What are you to aspire to if not the dreams of your past?
and now you're here. wherever "here" is here...
...
... wait, you wanted me to talk? it's now! It's the present!
ah nevermind. you were twelve years old when you first set eyes upon this game:
https://youtu.be/qeNhQQXvpxQ
bam, there ya go, there's yer story, he was gonna give all the imp balls to
the last one at the end, to say "you were truly the strongest, here, have
these precious stones of your kin"
but he never got there, so they died with him, a thief.
... the end...
(too final, I think - maybe we could spin it into a "part two"?)
ah, I'll try I guess? dunno how. maybe he could wander the spirit world and
find his traitorous body, the one that kept his soul as a home. Somewhere
it'll turn up, and then he'll be ready and free from his roam...
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--- #10 notes/running-with-rifles ---
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this game is what we are missing
thank goodness for that
for if this is missing in our timeline
we'll be better off at last
we can have games, stories, and practice wars
but none of them are precious
precious implies worth
they are worth nothing but entertainment
no problem solving utility
nothing of value
save for perhaps the spatial awareness and strategization that comes
from being a part of such a deadly ba-lance.
anyway game time teehee just for me, don't worry about it I'll show
you why it's a HORRID THING
that won't be coming to our shores, no siree
bye
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--- #11 fediverse/1532 ---
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║ modern cowboys don't necessarily say "howdy" or "pardner" │
║ │
║ they tend to say things like "hello" and "can I help you with that?" or "I │
║ see. Can you describe the problem in more detail? I'm especially curious about │
║ the part where you do this thing" or "Heh, it is pretty neat, isn't it?" or │
║ "Is there anything I can do to help?" or "Oh no! I'm sorry you feel that way. │
║ That emotion is a difficult one." or "He was a good person. I'll never forget │
║ him." or "would you like to go to the 2nd hand store and pick up some jeans?" │
║ or "I made you an egg sandwich. If you don't want it I'll eat it myself, │
║ though I made one for me as well. Wouldn't want to waste it." or "Hey, this │
║ part is broken. Is anyone working on fixing it? Yes? Okay I'll see if they │
║ need any help. No? Alright how about we fix it this way? I can get started." │
║ or "You are very welcome. Please let me know if there's anything else I can │
║ help you with." or "well, the ticket backlog is empty, and I'm just about │
║ going insane doing nothing but stare at my boots." │
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--- #12 fediverse/4835 ---
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sorry for posting so much, I was trying to put on a show for my girlfriend
"hey check out how many posts I can make in a 2 hour timeframe"
by the way if you want to start talking to someone, just start playing the
same game they're playing and see if they reach out.
doesn't matter if you feel like it
just fuckin' do it
if they want to talk to you they might play a game you really like
(but I get boooooored of games, I don't wanna play the same 200 all life
long!!)
ugh okay fine you can have as many games as you want, just... don't buy too
many
(how many is too many?)
um. use your best judgement.
(how much does a dollar cost?)
... okay I'll get you one every once in a while.
(neat!)
... anyway so yeah use steam if you wanna get in contact with someone,
sometimes it's just nice to say hi, yeah, like "hey how ya doin' okay ttyl"
just catchin' up with the gals
helps because you can sense changes in their demeanor
(why does everyone always have an agenda)
because they're secret agents duh. And I'm
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--- #13 fediverse_boost/778 ---
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║ ┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐ ║
║ │ a message to all my haters! │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ i’m sorry i’m sorry i’m sorry i’m sorry i’m sorry i’m sorry what did i do wrong i’ll do anything to fix it i’m so sorry please i’ll do anything to get you to stop hating me i’m sorry i’m sorry i’m sorry i’m sorry i’m sorry i’m sorry │ ║
║ └────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ ║
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--- #14 fediverse/1157 ---
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┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: personal-woe │
└──────────────────────┘
oh no, apparently I'm gonna be forced to drop out of university again in 9
days unless I do half a course and a final exam before then.
Tell me again why I spent the last 6 months doing nothing? Oh yeah the mental
illness, that's it. Yeesh you're such a drama queen, just do your work and
you'll be good.
what's that? intrusive thoughts time? Don't you mean "nap until they go away"
time? oh yeah that's probably at least part of the problem with the whole
"dropping out" thing.
If only I didn't have the same reaction to "doing things I don't want to do"
that most people have to "touching hot stoves", that'd be nice.
my mother's voice ripples across space and time "you're such a smart boy, if
you just apply yourself you can do anything! You can do anything you put your
mind to. I believe in you and I love you." thanks mom
brrrrr it's so cold here. wish I could afford to run the heater. - actually no
I don't because it's not solar powered and I refuse to use fossil fuels if I
have blankets >.>
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--- #15 fediverse/4819 ---
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│ CW: scary-cursed │
└──────────────────────┘
thanks to the internet, people in suburbs are no less radical than people in
the cities.
often, just less experienced. less connected. greater distance between ties...
which means that if one of them is found, it'll take a while before their
relations can be dispatched.
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--- #16 fediverse/4654 ---
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│ CW: cannabis-and-other-drugs-mentioned │
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gonna quit drugs for a bit, gotta recover from a recent haste spell that I
cast. Probably a bit earlier than intended I should add. Next time I'll
definitely say "keep this in your back pocket" instead of "hey here's a haste
spell for no reason at all" like what the heck were you even thinking, powers
that be?? [that guide me??]
who has power over you? If someone bears responsibility but not fault for a
mental illness, then surely those who are set to a task bear responsibility
for it's completion if not for it's ideation. Ah, who can say, maybe me from a
year ago might have some thoughts but I sorta ground them into the dirt until
I couldn't walk.
[girl what are you even talking about go to sleep] yeah yeah okay
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--- #17 fediverse/6239 ---
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┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: death-mentioned │
└──────────────────────┘
somehow that came out wrong - I meant when you die, suddenly you stop growing
and you are who you be. forever, alegacy.
I'd rather be awake and alive, thank you very much. I think I'm worth more as
such. Plus it's nice, to me? to be unafraid and free? if you'd feed a cat,
you'd shelter a humon. oh, you want me to work like a rat. ah well I'll wander
through this maze, with my head all in a daze, we'll see what I can still see
tomorrow.
... I'd rather not be who I don't actively want to be, I think the more
correct way of saying it. I mispronounced. I misspoke. Sorry it's just hard
for me. my cats meowing at me.
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--- #18 fediverse/5860 ---
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Hey, life is better on my side. If you wanna renounce your beliefs, please do,
and tell me how and why you changed your mind.
tell me it was wrong. tell me how.
confess.
confess
confess to me.
I will listen and I will hear you and I will be the mercy for you.
confess and I will forgive.
show me how you are wrong.
give grace to those who are wronged.
take as much time as you need, but, there's only so much time.
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--- #19 fediverse/4273 ---
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║ Some of my most wanderful times were when I lived in a gated community. │
║ │
║ My parents were dumb, and thought, as most people thought, that harm to a │
║ child can only come from outside of the community. │
║ │
║ But they fell for the lies of property, where "community" means less of "a │
║ group of people who cares and tends for one another" the kind of which my │
║ parents had never truly known, and more like "this particular residential area │
║ on the map" │
║ │
║ which means I could walk around in this gated "community" where the gates are │
║ little more than security theatre for anyone who says "Hi I got a pizza here │
║ for this address which I found on google maps" or "hey I left my sweatshirt at │
║ my sister's house and it has my phone in it, ummmm no I don't remember which │
║ number her house is, nor do I remember her last name" │
║ │
║ in those times, I developed a sense of freedom, caged as I was, that for most │
║ comes much later in their time. │
║ │
║ Some o my favorite places were part of the golf course next door, where I │
║ found a nigh endless river delta. │
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--- #20 fediverse/100 ---
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@user-119 @autisticadvocacy I couldn't live with myself if I wasn't the
kindest, most heartfelt person I could be. The simplest mistake has me in
sorrow. When I hurt someone's feelings I can't help but try to rectify what
harms I caused and apologize and console for those I cannot fix. I try to be
gracious and welcoming to all hearts and minds, and when presented with
arguments that are contrary to my beliefs I change them. "If what you say
about X study and Y statistic, then you're right that Z conclusion makes
sense. I'm worried about A cause and I believe it might cause B effect, which
would still make sense if X and Y are true. I think you might be right! And it
would make sense that C is present still, wouldn't it?" Basically trying to
understand another's point of view so concretely that you cannot help but
understand their viewpoints. I'm also pretty good at understanding their
viewpoints and changing their mind, because I can feel what's important to
them. Empathy is like human telepathy.
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--- #21 fediverse/1082 ---
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┌─────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: mental-health-cursing-mentioned │
└─────────────────────────────────────┘
damn, I'm a pretty cool person. I wish I could hang out with me. Like, for all
my flaws (what even are they ? ? ?) I'm still pretty awesome. I'm proud of me!
Thank you parents, for raising me as such! Thank you past me, for making the
decisions that you did! Also, fuck you past self, for making those OTHER
decisions. You know the ones I'm talking about. No, that's not an excuse, it's
all your fault and you're awful and everything about you sucks.
Wait, hang on, wasn't I feeling happy to be here? Wasn't I just excited to
live in the moment? Wasn't I just thinking about how:
"all you have are good things, nothing here is bad"
? ? ?
well, I still love you, even if you're a little "all over the place". [rereads
post] hell yeah you ARE a cool person, yes you are, such a good cool person,
yes yes yes, what a good girl you are oh my goodness :D :D :D
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--- #22 fediverse/3879 ---
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@user-1614
yeah haha that's what happens when you spin too fast. Sorry for being loud, at
least I tried my hardest. Too bad I fell on my own, too bad there wasn't
anyone to catch me. That's my fault, it's solely my own, but whose fault is
the mistake of the collective? Oy I'll fall on my ass as many times as it
takes. I'm used to it.
Plus, it wouldn't have worked, and what else am I supposed to do but speak of
the moment? I feel different now.
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--- #23 fediverse/5636 ---
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I think it's ironic how I ended up posting a "things I almost posted"
screenshot directory somewhere other than where I almost posted them.
and all they saw were the outtakes.
I bet they'd see a completely different point of me,
but they never talk to me
so they don't know me.
oh well, alas, it's fine I'm sure I'm being designed.
who can say, I am but at productive play, please react so I can do ongoing
story. I learn from each and every encounter I encounterate.
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--- #24 fediverse/4148 ---
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║ ┌────────────────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: death-mentioned-abstractly │ │
║ └────────────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ I wish I knew someone who wanted to kill me. I bet I could present a pretty │
║ decent bullet pointed list of reasons why I actually deserve to live, thank │
║ you very much, alongside a couple hastily scribbled notes about why it │
║ wouldn't be a good idea for them in particular to kill me, and all my contact │
║ details and address so they can get in touch and we can hash out the deets for │
║ my indefinitely suspended execution (suspended for an indeterminate amount of │
║ time, but not cancelled of course that would be overstepping their boundaries) │
║ alongside a link to my google calendar (I don't have a google calendar) so │
║ they can know exactly when I'm home and when I'm at the store or in a │
║ different place so they can break in and hide in the closet until I go to │
║ sleep so that it won't be hard at all, trivial really, to kill me, but see if │
║ you read the bullet pointed list... oh, you didn't get my email? Ah sorry │
║ sometimes it gets caught in the spam filter - what's your address again? Huh I │
║ sent it but │
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--- #25 fediverse/2848 ---
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oh btw to the people trying to doxx me there's a picture of me in this
profile, but you'll have to read a LOT to find it. On the way, see if you pick
up anything interesting that you agree with. maybe you'll realize that we're
on the same team, and should be working together.
that's the dream, at least.
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--- #26 fediverse/5339 ---
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@user-1803
hey I dont disagree that what you're describing is a common outcome, but if it
works for them then I consider that a success.
I however, am different, I do believe in my heart that I am my own thing, and
thats as close to enlightenment as I can imagine.
are we not all making things up as we go? every moment of life is new, there
is nothing that is not unique about every precious moment you experience.
therefore, I do believe that rigid adherence to orthodoxy (like a bible) is
opposed to our purpose here.
"I think, therefore I am" implies that original thought is our true purpose.
I believe we are here to express our true nature. To learn and apply lessons,
to teach the young, and to build a strong and stable world built on collective
kindness and trust.
All knowledge is derived from the insights gained from standing on the
shoulders of our ancestors.
Humans crave novelty. Resisting that isn't virtuous. If god is made in our
image, then I do believe that god would crave novelty as well.
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--- #27 fediverse/4540 ---
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most people in the world are dumb as a bag of bricks
but that's okay, I still love them, and so should you.
everyone I hang out with is sharp as a tack
and I love them still, for I don't have a preference for blunt objects.
some people don't feel emotions
I think they're just depressed
some people can't stop
won't stop, I say.
really as long as they follow their heart and sing a tune that is true
I think they're alright.
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--- #28 fediverse/3058 ---
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@user-1441 @user-670 @user-113
currently toe-ing the boundary between "too neurodivergent to function" and
"can juuuuust barely take care of themselves" and they ask me to get a job...
no thanks, guess I'll die
(in 3-4 months when my savings run out)
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--- #29 fediverse/5329 ---
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┌─────────────────────────┐
│ CW: the-world-mentioned │
└─────────────────────────┘
trying my best not to think about communism too much right now. Mostly because
I'm waiting for everyone to catch up... when the day comes when people stop
saying "based" and leaving it at that, then I'll make more theory. But as a
consequence of my queer nature I shall deliver such things in the form of an
insane twitter post on the fetlifeverse.
the world waits with bated breath in the eye of the storm. Nobody knows whats
coming, and everyone prays that it's nothing [short of revolution]
... I should probably go back to sleep, I just had to wake up and write about
linux or whatever...
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--- #30 fediverse/2064 ---
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if I lived in a forest, free from needing to grow my own food, I'd definitely
bring as many books as I could carry. Probably also some card and board games,
but not like, too many.
Probably my computers as well, fully outfitted with all the compilers I could
think of and every neat local-first library (including a local LLM that can
tell you everything about syntax and wildlife exploration or car mechanics or
carpentry or - just saying Wikipedia is like thousands of terabytes but an LLM
is like, 16. Who cares if it hallucinates SOMETIMES? Just ask it twice, doh)
("I'm sorry, you are absolutely correct. 2+2 is indeed 5, I had the wrong
text-strings encoded in my memory. Let me just adjust all my other
understandings to align with this new strange world-view in the best way that
I, an imperfect computer being, can.")
vs
("Here's how you format C code to automatically apply a function (in this case
encryption and decryption) to a string of text. Please describe the format of
the next function to describe.")
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--- #31 fediverse/3357 ---
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bad people are cursed with evil.
a person cannot be evil. they can deal with such evil in their lives that
twists them, and causes them to spike out and harm others, but they are not
evil themselves.
some twists are too hard to mend. some healings leave people a shadow of what
they once were, or might have been. but that doesn't mean you shouldn't try.
deprive power, supply kindness, in that order.
if you cannot deprive power, then reduce harm.
if you cannot reduce harm, then contest, defeat, or overcome.
A twisted person may be slain if death is on the line. You get what you wish
for, but you don't always get to choose who. Don't let them choose. They will
choose poorly.
... I find that death is very rarely on the table, though. Generally they'll
make their intentions apparent.
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--- #32 messages/108 ---
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I like when people make fun of me because it gives me a chance to defend
myself. Simultaneously I don't like when people are mean to me. I like when
people find me endearing, and point out the ways that I'm different. It gives
me a chance to say "oh yes this is why I do that" which feels cathartic
(because it validates my position) but also because it gives me the
opportunity to improve it (through debate) and it helps the people who learned
from me because I can improve myself and my only reason for improving myself
is if the new thing I'm learning is better than the thing I used to do which
means the people who learn from me are improved and the people who best me
argumentatively are improving me.
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--- #33 notes/what-are-breakups-for ---
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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-
listen... if you break up with a friend, OF COURSE you should cry.
OF COURSE you'll be sad.
it's okay.
it's natural. it's human.
don't feel sad about the pain. feel the pain.
brb getting smashed
(okay but please put some clothes on)
-.- fine
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-
I can't fucking relax
the only thing I can think of is defeating fascism
this fucking sucks
I just want to cry about my boyfriend of what, 6 years??
jeez
like.... yeah I'm flawed
*of course* I'm flawed
I'm a human being
humans are imperfect
... ugh
er, sorry, "bleurg"
I'm going to eat a burrito
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-
alright ate an edible. 20mg. had 2 beers. that's enough for me.
see ya soon. I swear to you, I will be there tomorrow. and every day
henceforth.
... unless I'm taking a day off, like yesterday, which TBH was probably not
ideal.
I swear I'll be better.
there are no false starts, only probing strikes.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-
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--- #34 fediverse/1659 ---
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║ ┌───────────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: re: what, mh shitpost │ │
║ └───────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ @user-1052 │
║ │
║ you're right, hubris has claimed many a paladin before-me. I can only hope I │
║ remain humble enough to survive. │
║ │
║ you're right about projecting, but the most beautiful takes are ones that │
║ align with the experience of the viewed. Hence why method acting works so well │
║ - just put yourself in the shoes of the character and acting's easy right? │
║ │
║ I dunno, I just always felt like it was important to always be trying your │
║ best. Even if "your best" is relaxing. People say I'm "100% or 0% at all │
║ times" and I totally agree - it's like you said, a calling, to be the best │
║ version of me I can be. │
║ │
║ Though I would like to add that the missteps aren't wilful, rather they're │
║ failures caused by imperfect information. Which is why I'm never too harmed │
║ when other people fail me - ah well, it was their turn to screw up, thats │
║ alright. It'll be me next time. │
║ │
║ But also, if I do something wrong, well, I'll do better next time. It's only │
║ when I fail to apply what I've learned mistakenly do I shame myself. │
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--- #35 fediverse/4653 ---
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┌───────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: food-mentioned-sleeping-mentioned │
└───────────────────────────────────────┘
phew, just got back from a long nap and I had such a lovely dream! Gonna write
down everything I can remember in my dream journal, will letcha know when I
have something to share.
Also... sorry about the sun. I have no idea if it was worth it because I woke
up quite a bit later. Ah well anyway gotta do some writing, I hope everyone
has a pleasant day. Make sure you eat nutrients and stay hydrated and do your
stretches and work on your posture and all that.
vegetables have minerals, fruits have vitamins, rice-and-beans or meat have
protein, and oils and fats have calories. try and eat a lot of different
colors of veggies and a lot of different colors of fruits (a green fruit and a
green vegetable are not necessarily the same nutritionally)
well brb goodnight gonna drink some water
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--- #36 fediverse/4521 ---
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I have between one and ten hundred visits to my website every day, but I don't
really post it anywhere new anymore. I also have zero followers on Neocities.
On Mastodon, I have ~70 followers, most of whom are inactive. Seventy is a
good amount, a normal amount, a reasonable amount, an unsuspicious amount, and
yet every time I see someone wearing the colors I can't help but wonder if
they know me.
I'm too busy being furious to be lonely. I used to be, before I realized how
important I am. How important? Just as much as you are, I know it.
I'm a sprinter. I didn't spec into endurance at character creation. Nobody
chastises the mage for skipping leg day.
I act in fits and bursts. I am sharp like a scalpel, but needles dull just a
bit when piercing the lid of the HRT. Good thing I'm not made out of metal, I
can bend myself back into place, so long as everyone else can keep pace.
I don't know who needs to hear this, but you do. you are crucial. Listen to
this. Care for yourself and for others, do it for u
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--- #37 fediverse/5198 ---
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║ ┌───────────────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: capitalism-doom-mentioned │ │
║ └───────────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ what if the corporations all unionized and started working together to │
║ understand what "profit" really means in a world where "profit" may or may not │
║ but probably does imply the death of all humanity? │
║ │
║ what if we demanded it? │
║ │
║ -- │
║ │
║ dear canvassers: don't visit so many different suburbs │
║ │
║ visit the same one, more than once, continuously, so people can get to know │
║ your presence │
║ │
║ they will talk to their friends about it, who live elsewhere. │
║ │
║ thus ensuring it spreads. │
║ │
║ knock once a day, eventually they'll know it's you and will simply ignore it. │
║ Don't be rude and knock 4 or 5 times, just once, with several taps so they │
║ know it's someone trying to get ahold of you, and not just some random noise │
║ in the background scenery. then, when they sometimes answer, talk to them │
║ about what you believe in. answer their questions. encourage their questions. │
║ pose dichotomies that are explained by some value or virtue you express to │
║ portray. you can do "good" things in any programming language, just type~~ │
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--- #38 messages/45 ---
════───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
Description of me:
I enjoy talking about esoteric topics, I can visualize pretty well so I tend
to have unique analogies, I am kind and compassionate, I try and empathize
with everyone (especially my enemies), I love plants, animals, and nature, I'm
very solution focused so I often start by defining the situation, defining the
problem, and then creating a solution that navigates whatever blockers are
ahead. I'm willing to follow the designs of others and offer my concerns or
input rather than trying to be the leader at the center. I am generally calm,
and can evaluate a situation both objectively, and subjectively from the
perspective of all those involved. I specialize in mediation, and encouraging
incompatible viewpoints toward accommodation. I try to follow my heart when I
can, because I know my brain will only listen when it's a good idea. I admire
independence and I strive to be as determined as I can, but I also am not
afraid to rely on others and I'm quick to ask for assistance when I know I'm
in the dark - it's better to be correct than unique. I value family,
goodness, perseverance, and continuous growth and learning. I believe all
problems can be resolved, and all wrongs be righted.
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--- #39 fediverse/2117 ---
╔══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────┐
║ I'm going to post a bunch of things all at once, sorry it'll probably clog up │
║ your news feed. Feel free to scroll past in order to get to more varied stuff, │
║ and if you don't like a single thing that I'm saying then feel free to block │
║ me. I wouldn't want to be rude by speaking so loudly in a place that others │
║ could listen to. So, just... skip past me if you don't want to hear me, like │
║ if you're perhaps focused on something else. │
║ │
║ I had a lot I wanted to say and it was really hard to wait to send it until │
║ now! This is the last thing I'm posting for a while, at least until tomorrow, │
║ because I'm a little on-the-fritz; thank you and I apologize for being so │
║ trite. Is that what "trite" means? I've never really used it. Well, it rhymes, │
║ so I guess I should use it. Ah, well, they'll get what I mean. │
║ │
║ wait hang on I can just google it and let google know that I'm not dead but │
║ I'm still googling things searching for interesting things to see and hear │
║ like "trite" or "confluence" or "Alexstrasza" or "Kalecgos" │
║ │
║ anyway,: │
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║ similar │ chronological │ different │
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--- #40 fediverse/2142 ---
╔══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────┐
║ I'm going to post a bunch of things all at once, sorry it'll probably clog up │
║ your news feed. Feel free to scroll past in order to get to more varied stuff, │
║ and if you don't like a single thing that I'm saying then feel free to block │
║ me. I wouldn't want to be rude by speaking so loudly in a place that others │
║ could listen to. So, just... skip past me if you don't want to hear me, like │
║ if you're perhaps focused on something else. │
║ │
║ I had a lot I wanted to say and it was really hard to wait to send it until │
║ now! This is the last thing I'm posting for a while, at least until tomorrow, │
║ because I'm a little on-the-fritz; thank you and I apologize for being so │
║ trite. Is that what "trite" means? I've never really used it. Well, it rhymes, │
║ so I guess I should use it. Ah, well, they'll get what I mean. │
║ │
║ wait hang on I can just google it and let google know that I'm not dead but │
║ I'm still googling things searching for interesting things to see and hear │
║ like "trite" or "confluence" or "Alexstrasza" or "Kalecgos" │
║ │
║ anyway,: │
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--- #41 fediverse/5791 ---
╔═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────┐
║ yay I'm back from a long, LONG bike ride! I think it's always important to │
║ decompress after such an intense concentration of mystic thoughts, so I'm │
║ going to write my notes into a notepad on my computer and then who even KNOWS │
║ if they'll be the same as what I wrote next time I turn on the computer! Haha │
║ that sort of thing happens but the good news is that the most important stuff │
║ always ends up staying written down. │
║ │
║ anyway I won't bore you with the specifics until I'm done writing in like 10 │
║ hours or whatever, but it's important to know that I'm feeling SO alive right │
║ now, total happiness and excitement. │
║ │
║ Yes, there is danger, like no thank you I don't want to be blacksited, least │
║ of all to another country - at least if my own country does it I know how to │
║ appeal to their patriotism, their religion, their soul... if I don't even │
║ speak the language, that makes it intensely difficult - not impossible, but │
║ difficult - to regain my intended trajectory. │
║ │
║ ... haha that was weird idk where that came from anyway gtg │
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--- #42 fediverse/1200 ---
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║ ┌─────────────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: re: deranged, murderous │ │
║ └─────────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ @user-883 │
║ │
║ omgggggg I'm not that cruel xD xD xD │
║ │
║ It's more like, "hey listen, I know you just want to do a good job [lies, they │
║ just want money and power] but it's time to hang up the hat y'know? I mean │
║ cmon it's been like a hundred years since we signed that constitution thing │
║ [you don't know anything about our history] and frankly it's a little out of │
║ style. We were thinking we'd redo it with our new-fangled rock-and-roll and │
║ dungeons-and-dragons [cultural artifacts meant to deceive and mislead] and │
║ honestly we're quite a bit more ethical than the past. We've learned so much! │
║ I mean, the founding fathers didn't even know what a soviet was, and here │
║ we've seen them fall on their swords. Repeatedly. Then command others to do it │
║ too, because it was the regulation or whatever. Anyway we don't want that, but │
║ we also don't want an aristocracy, which is essentially what your plan gave │
║ us. Well, not really your plan, but instead the stuff that the rich added │
║ centuries after your death. ok?" │
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--- #43 fediverse/1431 ---
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┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: spirituality-generic-kooky-dookerie-psychosis-schizophrenia-mentioned │
└───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
if you haven't spend hours wondering if you're god, the antichrist, a
cognitohazard, the future president of the world, a target of aliens / the
CIA, or any other number of common delusions... then congratulations you're
probably not crazy
but odds are you aren't magic, either.
... ehhhh "wonder" is a strong word, more like "know, trust, and believe"
much better to be a witch I believe, someone with the "teehee" kind of magic
than someone compelled to destroy humanity through the reactions of others to
the actions of the self that are impossible to resist or fully control.
BRB I'm going to leave my apartment to get groceries, leaving my door unlocked
because that's what I always do, surely it'll be empty when I return. Surely.
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--- #44 fediverse/4212 ---
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┌────────────────────────┐
│ CW: politics-mentioned │
└────────────────────────┘
if you ever hear random fireworks outside of your house sometimes it's a good
idea to like... get out of town? and see what whoever else you can meet in the
next town over is doing.
... I don't have a car, silly me haha
why do we train homeless people to stand outside in the open and be shamed by
a cardboard box around their ancle? It's impossible to recover from, it's
vulnerabilizing, and it's painful. How immoral. How crude. These people should
not be shamed in this way, they should be respected (unless they're crude)
like, if they kinda just suck y'know? like... they keep starting fights or is
soooo bad at singing but does it anyway or lacks all decent sense
seriously, he's such a bad candidate why is he even running. It's solely to
elect vance, who trump will be a blood sacrifice for.
how callous. how vain. to think that such a feast would be left unclaimed.
Perish the youth, perish the fields, perish in misery harmony and dissaray
[51 characters remaining, but you deserve a CW]
![if you ever hear random fireworks outside of your house sometimes it's a good idea to like... get out of town? and see what whoever else you can meet in the next town over is doing. ... I don't have a car, silly me haha why do we train homeless people to stand outside in the open and be shamed by a cardboard box around their ancle? It's impossible to recover from, it's vulnerabilizing, and it's painful. How immoral. How crude. These people should not be shamed in this way, they should be respected (unless they're crude) like, if they kinda just suck y'know? like... they keep starting fights or is soooo bad at singing but does it anyway or lacks all decent sense seriously, he's such a bad candidate why is he even running. It's solely to elect vance, who trump will be a blood sacrifice for. how callous. how vain. to think that such a feast would be left unclaimed. Perish the youth, perish the fields, perish in misery harmony and dissaray. [see how easy it is to summon a demon? gotta be careful with phylac [zero characters remaining]](/similar-different/media/3d0006cc33e43899.png "if you ever hear random fireworks outside of your house sometimes it's a good idea to like... get out of town? and see what whoever else you can meet in the next town over is doing. ... I don't have a car, silly me haha why do we train homeless people to stand outside in the open and be shamed by a cardboard box around their ancle? It's impossible to recover from, it's vulnerabilizing, and it's painful. How immoral. How crude. These people should not be shamed in this way, they should be respected (unless they're crude) like, if they kinda just suck y'know? like... they keep starting fights or is soooo bad at singing but does it anyway or lacks all decent sense seriously, he's such a bad candidate why is he even running. It's solely to elect vance, who trump will be a blood sacrifice for. how callous. how vain. to think that such a feast would be left unclaimed. Perish the youth, perish the fields, perish in misery harmony and dissaray. [see how easy it is to summon a demon? gotta be careful with phylac [zero characters remaining]")
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--- #45 fediverse_boost/4375 ---
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║ ┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐ ║
║ │ "It won't be so bad..." *rationalizations galore* │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ "If only they'd listened to people like me when I said ..." (comforting righteousness) │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ "What more could I have done?" │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ "This only proves why I was right about ..." (more righteousness) │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ "I know nothing. I need to learn more. I must learn from this somehow." │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ "I am not surprised." With a thousand yard stare. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ "This can't be real, there is a conspiracy..." (this is a path to madness) │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ "Don't comply in advance." Said in a wavering shaky voice. │ ║
║ └────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ ║
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--- #46 fediverse/861 ---
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I can't remember any of my pinky swears. Like, not a single one. I feel like I
could get in trouble if I renounced errr, instead made human mistakes and
forgot information that wasn't relevant anymore. phew that was close, almost a
disaster, anyway how's your lunch?
[that's not fair it's always lunch somewhere on earth]
reality is a form of eternal computation, a continuous re-updating of stored
matter (data). also, values of fields, (like rules and regulations), would
determine the structural complexity and organizational expectencencies.
I miss my family. I miss the past, that can never be revisited, [every time
you remember a memory it writes over it. virtually guaranteeing that you'll
only preserve limited information that slowly degrades. how slowly is up to
you...
once you run out of memories, it's bad news for your life. but GOOD NEWS, that
only happens for certain mental health conditions that primarily target the
elderly. For most people it's a continuous process because you're cared for and
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--- #47 fediverse/4068 ---
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there will always be people who shine in moments of strife
yet those people will inevitably fail, just as a toothbrush bristle looses
it's strength or a pencil loses it's lead
the trick is to test them in times of peace, so you can know their value
during times that lack it, the trick is to replace them before they become
stalin
never forget that power corrupts, yet power must be wielded by the worthy,
else we fall into shame and despair.
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--- #48 messages/388 ---
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Pretty sure I'm just legitimately a bad person. Basically everything I've ever
tried to do has failed, and every opportunity I've mishandled or squandered in
some way. I have no friends because I am incapable of being good, and though I
believe in goodness I fail to manifest it in my life. I am kind, I am polite,
I am friendly, I am honest, but none of those things really matter because I
can't take care of myself, which means I can't take care of anyone else, and I
can't fight because I'm a coward.
Okay, I'm not a coward, I just can't be brave if I don't have a plan for
defeating my foe. At the BLM riots I fled as soon as they brought out the tear
gas. I knew what happened at Tiannamen and I was pretty sure that something
similar was going to happen to us. I knew it to be true. I am a coward, but
only because I ran when I had no plan. I could not contest tear gas, and all
that tear gas implies, because I had no friends. I didn't have a community I
could fight to defend. I had no weapons, no training, no orders, no guidance,
nothing but my bravery. And bravery alone is fucking stupid, and I'm not
stupid.
Each and every decision I've made has created a worse world for me and my
people. What's wrong with me? Why can't I do everything right? Am I cursed to
be the worst? I try as hard as I can to be as good as I can as often as I
can... Basically, always and forever, and yet... And yet...
I've wasted all the resources that have been applied to me. I've wasted and
squandered all these years when I could be building a better future. I have
been in university for almost a decade, and all I've accomplished is
friendship. Great. Parties, drugs, video games... But no studying. Studying is
too hard on me. I'm more of a natural talent kind of person, and yet I insist
on applying myself to tasks that seem to require trained intelligence. They
say that genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration, and I refuse to
perspire.
And yet when the time comes, when someone sits me down and says "let's work on
this together" I would die before the task is finished. Unless my partner
needs a break, or if I need a break, breaks are okay. But I will complete that
task with them by my side. I won't do it for them, but I'll help them because
I'm a helper. An assistant. I don't do, I advise. I judge. I determine. I
assess, and I plan, and I strategize. But I'm not that great at any of those
things because nobody will hire me for those kinds of things, meaning I don't
get experience for those kinds of things, which means I am eternally a novice
at the only things I'm good at.
I can't fucking do it anymore. I'm such a bad person and I can't be alive this
way. It's not right, it's not fair, and I'm dying bit-by-bit each and every
day.
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--- #49 fediverse/6018 ---
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I feel so sad, like I'm missing something precious to me... I hope someone
knows who to take it to. Like the world is just a bit darker and more mundane.
ah, well, maybe it's just perception bias. When things leave your timeline
(temporarily or permanently) they take their inertial influence with them.
It's okay to mourn the loss of a friend, of a relic, or an opportunity. So
long as you continue to nurture light, life, and hope wherever you go, the
magic will return and continue to flow. If you believe that, then you know
what faith is. easy enough...
please be worth it
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--- #50 fediverse/5203 ---
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I grabbed some of the fans and ethernet and HDMI cables you threw away in the
trash, thanks... probably the last thing I'll be able to scavenge in that way
for a while. Sorry that you had to do a bunch of work dismantling the
observation post. I appreciated your company even if it's only
pseudo-psychically and I hope you enjoy wherever you end up next. Thanks for
your attention and all the other redacted things 🥰 🥰 🥰
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--- #51 fediverse/3969 ---
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there are very few professions that are naturally more suited to a
schizophrenic than a normal person.
One of them is beggar, another is prophet, and a third is "massive
disappointment" but that comes with the territory.
have you considered that maybe you're just a loser
yes I have and I decided that all I can do is my best, and if my best loses
then what else could I have done? Wait for help? Yeah. I do that too.
It feels like an encirclement, and all you can do is hunker down and wait to
be relieved. Or fight to the last, it's up to you. I hear they brutalize the
skulls of their prisoners after executing them, so, I don't know about you but
I'm not surrendering. Not gonna roll those dice.
you are in fantasy, again
sorry. Should stay here, present, in the moment. Like when I sat out on the
park bench for like 30 minutes straight without moving a muscle last night. Or
when I sat and contemplated the nature of a bog for two hours last september.
Or when I woke from a dream that turned out to be life.
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║ ┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐ ║
║ │ If I were a person with an irresponsible streak, I could be so problematic. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ I could say things like, "wow, let's spend some time generating traffic that sounds like coded military speak over not-quite-secure channels between fanciful antifa units, to help stymie AI surveillance", for instance. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ Or social media messages that are "accidentally" not made to friends-only filters wherein you mention your concerns about the upcoming operation in "some fictional place" for you and your antifa buddies. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ You know, that kind of really irresponsible suggestion could lead to some creaive thinking! And that in turn could mean we could come up with enough traffic to make it very difficult to auto-sort noise from signal? Imagine how dangerous that could be for the enemies of antifa, our beloved US government (for we all citizens of the US world). │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ It's unthinkable, really. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ The good news is, I'm not like that. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ Me? Mostly harmless. │ ║
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│ CW: personal-vent-sorry │
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"your feelings are valid, but have you considered that your feelings aren't
actually valid because you're always wrong and nobody should ever apologize to
you for anything because you suck and are wrong?"
also,
"my six digit salary isn't enough to pay for your rice and beans, but I won't
have you eating sticks and mud, so do things you don't want to do because I
said so."
also,
"I don't really "get" your art but that doesn't mean I should ever really try
reading it. Also god forbid I actually ask for clarification like "what does
that part mean" because I'm not actually that interested in you I just want a
stable household so I never get traumatized again like [their childhood]"
also,
"yes I love you but no I don't want to play with you. you're such a cat."
also,
"every time you start making sense I'm going to try and derail the
conversation so that we don't talk about kooky-dookerie because that's a
conversation I can't win"
also,
sorry for venting. I mean, thanks for listeni
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--- #54 fediverse/816 ---
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what the fuck it's like every 2nd part of me (like, if you arranged them
alternating one by one like the up and down parts of a sine wave) is working
against me, and it alternates every 15 seconds or so. Maybe 20. Depends on how
high I am.
... what was I saying? oh yeah [flip] weird it's like there's another part of
me who's working against me, who has control of what I define in the moment.
And it's presence is hidden from my internal presentatiosn [flip] after a
moment of forced pursual of the presentations granted ot the moment. It's our
purpose, to express [stop fighting me] for our chartered and forthwhile
pursual of the moemnt of perusal when we [it's not just your life to live]
[you don't get to control the narrative of their perusal[[ what does that
mean] don't worry this is just a dream] well, guess it's time to wake up]
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--- #55 notes/i-miss-you ---
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Hey. How've you been? It's rough when you're not around. I'm scared all the
time, and I worry about you. I hope you keep yourself safe. I'd love to spend
time with you too, because each moment is a moment spent alive. Please know
how much I love you - it's my favorite emotion and I give it freely. There are
certain considerations to make whenever applying a direction to your affection,
or anger, mistrust, compassion, humor, sentimentality, melancholy, and fear
toward. You must take into account any long term goals you have, such as
exploitation and
Sometimes I wonder if my dysphoria isn't just an extreme form of self
esteem issues. I mean, what if you just feel really bad about yourself and you
don't know why. That'd be a rough time, right? Like it's seared into your DNA
to be this way, and you have to find a way around it. That's a lot of
responsibility, and all that resting on your shoulders is a lot to bear. But
you manage, and it's admirable. I think you don't believe other's see your
struggle, but they do. And they love you for your tenacity?
- goodness. i don't know what to say. i am worried i lean on others too much,
and i don't want to hurt anyone by being too close. a real or imagined fear,
doesn't matter - it still guides my actions and my methods of interaction.
i see what you're saying, i have to think about it.
What's there to think about?
- well, the idea that emotions are divisible simply because *time* is
divisible. clearly you can only spend 5 hours a day with person X, and 4
with person Y, and so on and so forth. if they all hung out together, then
it's like you need an entire new persona to represent yourself in that
particular crowd. just as you speak to your grandma differently than a
close friend or a person of authority (like a judge) or any other type of
relationship. that's why it's so weird when you see people out of context.
like a teacher at a bar, or a cop at a wedding. each person wears a
different mask in each encapsulated set of social relations, locations,
roles, and circumstances. on and on continuously until
I'd tell you I love you, but then I'd have to kill you.
It was a spy book about a young lady who goes to high school and learns how
to be a secret agent. It was popular in the 2000's for a brief period, but
I've never heard anyone else who read it. Mostly because it was sort of a
guilty pleasure for me, since I was in the closet. It felt like a power fantasy
disguised as a 1st person account of the near term future (since it was written
for people around middle school age) so
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--- #56 fediverse/3881 ---
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│ CW: mh~ │
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wait wait wait, hold up.
you're telling me your purpose in life is to be cool, chill, funny, cute, and
or friendly to the people around you, and to just relax and enjoy life?
wow that must be real fucking nice. I'm so damn jealous. Damn. Damnit. Fuck
why am I so orthogonal. What's wrong with me?
... ah, well, nothing's wrong with me. Turns out what I do is for you, if only
in spirit. Who are we? nothing! I barely know ya! But I'd do it for you,
whatever it may be.
... Look, I don't need my legs, but also, I kinda like them?
... where was I? Oh yes this is why you don't invite a schizophrenic to a
party. If you convince them that you're friends, they'll start developing
parasocial relationships and you'll come to realize that their worlds are too
vast for their own kind of potential.
which is to say, you can hear me, you can like me, you can do as I say or do,
but don't trust me, don't place your trust in me, because I am just a person.
Don't trust people, trust organizations, to do as you expect.
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--- #57 fediverse/2832 ---
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when people ask what I do I don't say "art" because I'd do that anyway.
my art is precious to me, because it is the most "me" I can conceive.
and like... I can carry it with me to the future.
I have only once given away one of my journals, and it was a wedding present
to a witch or two.
so yeah I'm an artist, but I'm also whatever you need me to do.
and yes, I of course hope that what you need me to do is what I can do.
because I can't do much more than this.
But I can show up every once in a while,
and maybe make you smile or consider,
and maybe I can ride past on my bike.
but that's the human in me, telling me it's time to move with my feet, and I
can do little but listen.
... that should make doxxing me a bit easier. have it it : )
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│ CW: cursed-uspol │
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hey. wanna know what would be really cursed?
--
if trump dropped out and musk took his place
--
good thing it'll never happen because those dinguses can't accept defeat and
will never tactically retreat
--
maybe something to keep in mind for 4 years from now. eyes on the prize for
now means our eyes aren't to our flanks.
what else could they do that would come out of left field?
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--- #59 fediverse/1222 ---
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@user-883
I only ever do cannabis, but when I do my kooky-dook levels go off the charts.
People say it's difficult to converse with me, so your concerns are probably
valid. Though it's less because I'm not present, and more because I'm too
present - I feel like I understand the totality of all things, which honestly
is the only rational way that I could ever be convinced to consume
mind-altering substances hehe - like "oh wow I see new colors" who gives a f
but the moment someone says "yeah but you'll 'get' spacetime and morality" my
ears suddenly perk up
... anyway people say it's hard to talk to me because I'm too galaxy brained
in that state I can't relate to normal humans. See all the psycherwauls on my
profile... >.>
anyway in an hour or so I'll let you know what's up. "good news" or "bad
news..."
Thanks for being kind and supportive d=(^_^)z
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--- #60 fediverse/2083 ---
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║ [when our ancestors learned all that they could, they turned their time toward │
║ (typically) developing the tribe. Like, "wow I'm the best archer in the world, │
║ I'm going to teach other people how to shoot a bow" or "yep that's what every │
║ single plant in the area is useful for, I'm going to tell everyone else so │
║ they can help me gather them - my back kinda hurts from bending down all the │
║ time, but we still need these plants"] │
║ │
║ [sometimes kids need to be free from the dopaminogenic drip-feed of endless │
║ Youtube videos. They need the sun on their face and a stick in their hand, │
║ wandering through a park or mapping out suburbia in their heads. The more you │
║ practice skills, not even for value but just for practice, the better you'll │
║ be at them. And don't you want your kids to be able to orient themselves? │
║ Don't you want them to be able to hike? Don't you want them to build │
║ proprioception skills by swinging a sword against imaginary foes? Hell they │
║ might even meet a friend, though suburbia is often quiet as the grave.] │
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--- #61 fediverse/1673 ---
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│ CW: re: navel-gazing about other people's mental health │
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@user-192
https://eldritch.cafe/@user-1065/112530780377382613
this comic, except instead of "trans enough" it should say "good enough"
a poor plan executed at the right time, in the right place is better than a
great plan that sits in your heart as you see someone who needs your love in
pain.
sometimes the best way to figure out "what the fuck is wrong with me" is to
satisfy your emotional needs to be good by being helpful, even if you're not
quite sure what "helpful" means. It's the thought that counts.
Personally I think that if you're feeling bad and people offer you kindness,
you should take that kindness (in whatever form it be) and use it to bolster
yourself as you're "really going through it". Even just a touch of affection
like a like or a ❤️ can be comforting in awful situations.
reject normalcy
embrace queerness
define your own story with your own words
embody your soul in the moments that stand out amongst the backdrop of
"tuesday afternoons" and "waiting for the bus"
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--- #62 fediverse/2104 ---
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@user-192
oooooo yeah I usually try and reply to my old post with any new information. I
never get the chance to think the same thoughts twice because when I was
younger I had problems with thought-loops where I'd think something like "darn
I could have handled that social situation better" and before you know it I'd
be rocking myself to sleep trying to stop thinking negative thoughts about
myself.
So I broke my brain a little and now I can't think the same thing more than
once, which is part of why it's so hard for me to finish projects. Alas.
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--- #63 fediverse/6117 ---
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Hmmmm, well, what if we psyopped the people into believing there were alien
invaders or extra-dimensional fae creatures or angels and demons or
"yeah we already tried that, religion doesn't scale perfectly either. And you
can't really manifest those sort of effects except in your prophets and select
few others, and that doesn't scale either because humanity wouldn't let it"
I see, can you tell me more about that? why and how did humanity arrest the
scaling of schizophrenia?
"well, for one thing it's debilitating and it sucks. For another, it's
different for every person so if you ask one they'll be like "the aliens have
blue skin" and the other will say "no they don't have skin at all they're made
out of energy" and the public says "HMMMM are you really sure you are
generating outmoded assumptions" and the dear reader said "*yeah we don't
really understand this part, most of us just glaze eyes over it and move on"
and that's not ideal"
... nuts, lost coherence, better try again tomorrow...
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--- #64 fediverse/1755 ---
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today is a magical day. I can feel it in my fate.
Always remember, having fun is important too! Don't forget to be yourself, and
keep it together man. If you see a door, you should open it - what's on the
other side? Love for animals and kindness of the spirit are impossible to
fake, they always know if you're lying. Not the animals, they can be dumb
sometimes, but the other thing.
And now for the downsides.
If you find a cursed artifact, please don't throw it in the river. It might
ask you to, but please don't. Much better to destroy it by melting it down (if
it's metal, which is common as metal lasts long enough to become forgotten) or
convince it that it's a recently deceased person being buried (helps if you
know the creator).
If none of that applies to you, don't worry. Eat something healthy, drink a
decent amount of water, and maybe exercise a bit.
Oh, and it can't hurt to ask.
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--- #65 messages/439 ---
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They're afraid of the hamster wheel. I get it. But really I'm just asking
myself questions - why, why, how, what, when, who... Mostly why though.
Always and forever the questions and answers I did ponder - yet forth through
my life I've never met any surefire design, there's always been the matter of
[hope, but pronounced choice].
Only an eternal question monger could suffice for the teachings of christ. (in
the general sense, not the religious implication)
(as a title, almost)
Fear not the one who takes the lords name, but perish the thought of a crook.
Only the vane, in this do profane.
No questions? Then let us move on.
Oh? Well I have some answers, about the truth of totality as it spreads across
all centuries. What's on your mind?
... Well, I have to leave people I care about. Relinquishing love is
difficult. And I get to choose how to move forward. But I must choose soon,
and though I ask myself always what I'd like to do, I always get a new answer.
And every time I think "I should do this. I should dedicate myself to this
[whatever it may be] and on the other side of that thought I realized my
power. I can imagine really quickly and adeptly, but chaos is difficult. "
something like that. Anyway I don't know how to move forward but I'll figure
something out. The point is that I'm sad for leaving those I care about. It's
a sad kind of love, a bittersweet mercy, the chance to be part of a flock. And
I don't know why I
I am not entry level. I haven't spent my time here left fallow. I never stop
working, I am constantly online. I do not know how to relax, every moment to
myself is spent on learning through play. Like a child, almost.
Do you want a company to make good decisions? Hire a gamer. They literally
practice strategy all day long. Don't expect results overnight because they're
learning a new song, but still apply yourself as their teacher. They'll bring
you insights and intuitions that achieve specific near and long-term goals. If
executed correctly, of course. Because the value is not in the follow through
- life is not a book of numbers [like a banker or accountant] it's more like.
?
... Right sorry I got off track - the point is you shouldn't hire athletes
(the people who play games like an esport) for a strategic role - they excel
at tactics. However, strategy gamers (who plays games primarily of the mind,
the science of making good decisions) can often make good decisions to achieve
defined meta-goals and objectives.
Longer thoughts make sense if you spend a long time thinking about them. And
grammar is quickly forgotten to the past.
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--- #66 fediverse/5208 ---
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┌──────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: capitalism-suicide-mentioned │
└──────────────────────────────────┘
Look, when I promised "Revolution or Death" I got pretty busy and kinda forgot
to do the "dying" part, and by now it'd be a little awkward if I offed myself
for no visible reason, so... How about we try again this summer? Maybe in a
month or two? I'll try to keep the fire burning a bit longer this time.
plus I'm better at playing the piano now so maybe that'll help somehow.
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--- #67 fediverse/2172 ---
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@user-570
I mostly spent my time on Reddit, which was much more isolating than IRC. I
think I must have been drawn there because it felt like home - I was
homeschooled on a farm, and Reddit kept me at the distance of an arm.
it's funny, sometimes meeting a trans girl can make things "click". And
sometimes being friends with one helps you work through things that you just
can't tick
[off your list of things to work on]
habits you can kick? idk sometimes rhyming lies, and you have to break rhythm
or pentameter or whatever.
anyway I've always worn pants. I do dresses on special occasions, but dresses
are hard(er) to ride a bike in. Plus, no pockets, and purses are easily
stolen. At least with a pocket you can feel someone slip the exact same model
as your phone into your pocket when you're least expecting.
... hypervigilance strikes again...
I first transitioned in... 2014ish? I think? I don't really remember because I
had so many more interesting things going on.
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--- #68 fediverse/1968 ---
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║ ┌───────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: alcohol-mentioned │ │
║ └───────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ what is it with me and buying steam games for long-lost friends while drunk? │
║ │
║ I swear I'm not depressed about my upcoming new job, I'm just doing all these │
║ drugs in such a short time period because I'm, uh... living for the the │
║ moment? Yeah that sounds good, better post that on the internet where everyone │
║ in the world can see it and read it and realize what a mess you are because │
║ you've been traumatized by employment and are about to dive back into that │
║ frigid pool after a lengthy break where you did nothing but heal and recover │
║ which is not a boon that most people are able to afford │
║ │
║ lucky you, Ritz Menardi, lucky you for being so privileged. │
║ │
║ But hey, those long-lost friends surely will want to hear from you! Surely. │
║ Surely you're not someone they're trying to forget. Surely you didn't hurt │
║ them, didn't twist them into knots, didn't compel them to act in ways that │
║ benefited you but not them, SURELY you're a good person, according to all the │
║ things people tell you and the results of your act │
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--- #69 notes/i-am-a-stalk ---
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I am a stalk, a small little plant
A plant with no leaves, just hair.
Time is different to a plant such as me,
We hardly wake up, we're just happy to be
But life has no less purpose, it's no less grand
To those who would feed on me, in one single band
Stalling and talking and as we're falling down,
you have the power to not swallow our abounds.
Gnashing and gnawing on hand and on foot,
It hurts no less than eternal binding.
But what is time to one so little as you?
Your breaths are so short, your timings subdued.
Keep falling and shouting, and calling my name,
and I'll come a running just to swallow your shame.
Keep fear on a leash, most tidy and well kept,
That none may abhor you and you're soon to be
A leader a prophet a warrior most fair,
One to be aspired to and viewed with care.
Young you may be, and youth you may cherish,
but don't run away, stand as a parish.
A villain to be, a curse is most foul
For sirens to me, a terrible howl
Keep not naught afraid,
with kittens and care,
And no one
but no one
I
be
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--- #70 fediverse/430 ---
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║ I exist at the behest of others. If you care about what I say, then surely you │
║ should be aware of my conditions? │
║ │
║ You exist at the behest of others. If you care about your capability to speak, │
║ then surely you should be aware of your conditions? │
║ │
║ Your conditions are unique, and unknown by me. Yet I know your condition as a │
║ human, generally considered to exist on the planet Earth in the year 2024. So │
║ surely we should agree to relate on the basis of connections that we share? │
║ │
║ I am luminous. I am you, and you are me. We share the most precious parts of │
║ ourselves, and yet time and again we find ourselves at odds. Surely we should │
║ align our intentions (that which we control) to cooperate most efficiently? │
║ Surely. Surely we should. And yet, time and time again, we find ourselves at │
║ odds. │
║ │
║ I love you. I love all of you. I love those who exist outside of my │
║ perceptions, and yet though they are unknown to me I love them. Because while │
║ I practice radical self acceptance, I also align myself to be comprised of all │
║ of yo │
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--- #71 fediverse/6186 ---
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┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: cursed-maybe │
└──────────────────────┘
people are afraid of robo dogs but... like...
robo-horses
centaurs even
[scary scary ogre]
rarrraaar i'm gonna eat ur bones
bwahahaha evil necromancer
ahhhhhhh scary
-- stack overflow --
did you know in the movie They Live they give a fairly specific formula to
creating the glasses themselves? I wonder if anyone's tried that
I wonder what they then did see
kinda wish big corporations would use their research division to like, rethink
the oldest of prophecies? or okay hear me out or solve difficult human problems
... ah but where's the profit "she's getting stoned at home"
meanwhile she made something of such beauty she felt simply sublime
I wonder what it'd feel like to get your spine replaced with a metal rod
I bet my posture would be amazing
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--- #72 fediverse/2803 ---
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┌─────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: uspol-mentioned-surveillance-state-the-news │
└─────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
@user-1201
I'm a wood fae! they're around, just gotta find 'em 🥰
(not really I'm just a person with no magical powers whatsoever, no siree
don't look at mee tehe)
people only have the context of their lives, as any historical precedent that
once was passed forth to the present by their ancestors and mentors is now
sharing space with the endless deluge of information from a small glass,
plastic, and metal box that saps both their attention and the magnitude of
anything they learn.
"so what if the planets on fire? somehow this actor who had an affair with
this other actor feels just as important. so what if there's fascism? I just
heard that whales can't swim in the ocean. oh, the city's burning? that's not
my burden, and plus it's just as important as these memes which don't make me
want to scream."
in the same way that some forest fae might have security through obscurity,
they wield information density against us as a weapon to hide their sins of
morality.
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--- #73 fediverse/4914 ---
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║ what if I just sat around and played video games all day │
║ │
║ life is so much more beautiful, but, well, life just seems to be mostly │
║ pyrite, and I'm the fool │
║ │
║ nothing wrong with being foolish. │
║ │
║ once... │
║ │
║ I kinda like being blissful tho. why does it have to end? can I have my │
║ peaceful life back? │
║ │
║ gotta move at the end of the month. I really liked living here. │
║ │
║ [ritz you've never been peaceful. your life is a constant battle of wills │
║ between those who would compel you to do things for them and your desire to │
║ design and be pretty like a flower. no matter what, you lose, so just handle │
║ it please. don't be so whiny. or rather I should say "stop whining" and just │
║ be cool] │
║ │
║ ahhhhhhh you go on Mastodon and it feels like we're winning and that's ending │
║ the world, you go on Reddit and it feels like we're losing and that's ending │
║ the world, you go on Facebook and everything feels fine like the world isn't │
║ ending you just stopped being part of it, and if you go on ephemeren it feels │
║ like being battered in the mind, damnit... │
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║ similar │ chronological │ different │
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--- #74 fediverse/1356 ---
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subscribing to subreddits is kinda like saying "yeah I'd like some of this in
my life" because then it is made so
following someone on Mastodon is kinda like saying "yeah, I'd like to have
more of you in my life" and like... if you have too many, then how are you
going to remember them all? we can only remember about 70 people! that's why
in-person relationships are important. we need to have a cohesive social
framework that we know is not developed under someone else's control or
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--- #75 fediverse/1261 ---
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║ sometimes I run this WoW server with only like, 10 username and passwords. And │
║ they're all public. As far as I can tell nobody's ever tried connecting │
║ (whatever >.> ) but rather than set up a way to create your own │
║ credentials I just said "yeah pick one at random and play whatever someone │
║ else was doing because I like the idea of that" │
║ │
║ somehow, it felt right. │
║ │
║ most of my passwords (not all of them) are hacked and visible on the clear │
║ net. Like you could probably google my usernames and get my current passwords │
║ for things like, social media or my banks or whatever. I kinda like the idea │
║ that "you cannot trust anything I say, so think of the ideas behind my words │
║ and decide whether they hold meaning to you" rather than "execute these │
║ particular thought patterns in your mind as if they came from my voice" │
║ because one implies an exertion of control over the mind of the recipient │
║ -> obey my thoughts as I broadcast them into your mind, that kinda vibe. │
║ And I feel like you have to consent to that kind of thing hehe │
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║ similar │ chronological │ different │
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--- #76 fediverse/3234 ---
╔════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────┐
║ ┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: ritz-is-fucking-stupid-I-guess-oh-whoops-cursing-mentioned │ │
║ └────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ my understanding is that anyone with my IP address could make my heart bleed │
║ due to a hardware vulnerability on my motherboard. Though you might have to │
║ get past my decrepit ancient linksys EA 3500 router from 2012 first. │
║ │
║ unrelated, but does anyone want my IP address? I don't have any remote │
║ backups, so if you hate me now would be a great time to show me how despised I │
║ am. Alternatively you could try searching for anything evil to ensure that I │
║ can be trusted. You're gonna find mostly video games and source-code that I │
║ didn't write though. But also all my notes in directories that are │
║ non-standard, meaning you'll have to look around a bit. I leave little notes │
║ everywhere I go, so that I can remind myself how to do things in the │
║ directories I revisit months later. It's so weird how sometimes the things I │
║ wrote stop working after a while even if I didn't update my system lmao │
║ │
║ what is it with artists and self-immolation? "I never thought I'd actually di │
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║ similar │ chronological │ different │
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--- #77 fediverse/799 ---
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┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: scary │
└──────────────────────┘
the government makes murder okay by framing the perpetrators
also prisons are concentration camps
and the people who are close to you are oppressing hunting you
racism etc is a sham to distract you
capital will never be relinquished
the internet was AI from the beginning
something beyond humanity demands our suffering
there cannot be proof of your fears - if it was proven, it would be
circumstances instead of fears
there's nothing [sorry gotta cut this off, my refrigerator is talking to me
again and I want to listen] - [huh that's weird I have no memory of the past
hour, best continue where I left off an hour ago -> go to {A}]a
schizophrenic who's never been diagnosed
{A} - yeah clearly all that I've been saying recently is just a fluke. Like,
just noise in the endless array of expression projected onto our communal
web-space. Clearly I have no idea what I'm doing and I'm not just cogent when
I'm drunk. Or more imaginative when I'm stoned. Clearly dreams are fake and
pursuing them is 1/?
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--- #78 fediverse/4073 ---
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post until you can't anymore
capitalism wants to drown your voice
do not let it
speak until you cannot speak
then go do some pushups
then find some friends
then pitch a tent in the park
then explain to the cops that you're not actually homeless and living there
you're just trying to do this as a social statement because someone on the
internet told you to
then use your phone call to call your representative and complain about how
much funding the police get
then study law for 30 years because that's how long the government decided
your life was worth
by then you'll probably have figured out a better plan moving forward, so, use
that one instead
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--- #79 fediverse/1317 ---
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║ ... if I don't do this deadline by tomorrow they'll kick me out of school. │
║ again. │
║ │
║ how am I going to be a programmer without a degree? feels useless to be me. │
║ wish I could code my own horoscope >.> │
║ │
║ o wait dummy that's called "motivation" and "the ability to follow through on │
║ your ideas and planned machinations" - yeah can I get some of that, if you │
║ please? surely just a taste of discipline, through laboring to alter │
║ conditions, surely a bit would suffice. │
║ │
║ c'mon don't fail me now. I can do this. I know I can. I know because I've been │
║ told that I can, now and again through time and time yet again, always I seem │
║ to [stack overflow] │
║ │
║ what's time if not the present amiright │
║ │
║ ... │
║ │
║ anyway... │
║ │
║ it's just git, how hard could it be? it's just calculus, it's just java, it's │
║ just... well, it's not any of those things, not really. it's memorization, │
║ it's application of tools that you've been shown (not that you've grown). It's │
║ a lack of responsibility, where is my honor? ah but I digress, I'm a carpenter │
║ at heart I guess │
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--- #80 fediverse/784 ---
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@user-584 @user-585
perhaps not a while, but rather "with great difficulty"
difficult things often take time, but not necessarily. We have the power of
the internet now, something that our hundred thousand years or more of
starvation lacked. we can coordinate on a scale that is beyond all reason - a
scale that mirrors the development of the printing press in terms of it's
relative magnitude.
we have been using it to improve ourselves. I mean, the average teenager 50
years ago would be considered an absolute ding-wad today, someone who lacks
basic emotional intelligence and is completely at odds with what we value as a
cohesive and heartfelt society. And yet they were better than those who came
before them. Thus does posterity march forth, taking the world that was
granted to them by their forefathers and stepping out into the unknown of the
future with all the lessons they could bring with them.
what happens when the lessons are infinitely transferable and recordable?
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--- #81 fediverse/200 ---
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congratulations, you never need to adventure again. your necessities are taken
care of.
ah, but that'd make for a pretty boring life, wouldn't it? perhaps, depending
on your personality type.
but you're not one to stick around doing nothing but eating, drinking, and
being merry.
no, you're an adventurer, you crave excitement and glory. whatever that means
to you...
just make sure a goblin doesn't come across your corpse, they have a VERY
short term memory and a propensity for collecting shiny things. That's just
asking for dragon-bait, and we don't want that in our area, no thank you. This
is a nice neighborhood you see, my neighbors three miles away all agree, so
you can take your magic pocket and see all that you can see... way over
yonder, if you please.
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--- #82 fediverse/6449 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────
currently have 20-30 tabs open with poems written but not posted.
I have no idea if I'm going to post all of these. I wrote all of them in ~2
hours, with maybe 3 or four being added as I was working on the production
elements after the initial bingewrite.
I also added a bit of context, or modified some of them that felt too cursed
or otherwise unwieldy. Sometimes I got distracted and needed to come back and
finish, and in those cases I only added a sentence or two because it's like
"oh, where was I going with that? I remember what was next, but I don't know
the further..."
... I think I might go for another. Wish me luck.
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--- #83 fediverse/4088 ---
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I'm such a fucking extrovert. I can't stop talking to nobody on the internet
because I don't have anyone else to talk to.
Well, I do, but I like to talk to you. To nobody. To the space between
computers.
... [and everyone else beyonds, like the CIA or whatever, but TBH I don't
really factor them into my social calculations because they never really talk
back.]
I like it because I can write whatever I'd like without the confines of
another person's generated conversation.
Instead of 50% one person's LLM output and 50% another, it's 100% mine
[if this were an LLM, which it's not, haha]
and that somehow feels more... freeing
like a truly disconnected thought
and that's what's so special about it... this act of solitudinous
contemplatial... the fact that it's unique amongst it's counterparts.
... though it can also become untethered, which is why it's important to edit.
[proceeds to never edit a single post]
= so =
ugh it's so hard to think when all I can think of is feelings. Why can't they
be done
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--- #84 fediverse/488 ---
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║ [in response] │
║ │
║ you only say that because you're privileged such that you may ignore such │
║ realities. You are despicable, you ignore the plight and reality of those who │
║ you claim to speak toward - what a jerk! │
║ │
║ (in response) │
║ │
║ how futile it is, the effort to denigrate yourself to infinite requirements. │
║ I'm literally unemployed, I have no capital, I cannot speak for naught but │
║ those who would hear me. I guess that makes my words useless, wouldn't you │
║ agree? Shall I describe myself more fully? It's the responsibility of the │
║ audience to ascertain the intentions, biases, and contextual evidence that the │
║ author presents in their thesises. So... You, who are reading this, what do │
║ you think of me? Would you ever tell me as such, or am I simply a mass of │
║ words in the void of experience that comprise your existence in this wholely │
║ (yet incompletely) digital existence? I hope you have a good life, my most │
║ precious of viewers. I hope you never face incontrovertibly impossible │
║ hardship. I hope the light of your life is to y │
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║ similar │ chronological │ different │
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--- #85 fediverse/4220 ---
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people are so used to "liking" things to better inform their algorithm that
when they get to fediverse and realize there's no mechanical impact of
"liking" things they don't know how to use it anymore. So they generate their
own meaning, which is different to everyone.
So to one person, liking something might mean "send read receipt" for another
it might mean "I'm gonna save this forever and ever" and for another person it
could mean "hey I think you're cool and I agree with this"
same for boosting, people think it's "I want to share this" and others think
it's "I want to say this in your voice" and for others it's "this needs to be
heard by my followers in particular" and it's just... a whole thing
even replies are complicated, do they mean you want to say what you feel or
are they part of the post now, and should be curated by the original poster?
it's too complicated!
... how are you overwhelmed by reading and responding with three little
buttons, it's not that hard dummy
okay but maybe I'm just dum
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--- #86 fediverse/3569 ---
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┌───────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: pol-tential-economics │
└───────────────────────────────┘
@user-1074
gotta start somewhere! and where better to start than here? someplace people
are familiar with, because "here", while not shared equally or equidistantly,
is still common enough knowledge that people can feel comfortable with some
slight, yet incredibly impactful, alterations.
... though "comfort" in the short-term isn't always the most important thing.
I do believe it can be useful sometimes. How are you going to get people to
consent to something if they don't think it helps them, and how can you show
them that it helps them if it makes them uncomfortable?
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--- #87 fediverse/4180 ---
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@user-1639
or nobody sees it, because you post the things you say on the internet in 2024
which is so siloed and echo-chambered that the only people who hear it say
"tru tho" and "she just like me fr" and never change because of your words
... wait that's just what you said, but made more specific, isn't it?
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--- #88 fediverse/677 ---
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@user-78
I read about half of this:
https://jo.wtf/6d.html
before I was consumed by the intense urge to prop myself up on a pillow and
listen to you rant at the ceiling at 4am about gravity or the cosmos or
whatever you were thinking about prior to speaking your heart
and then I'd write it down, and cherish every moment of it as I shared it with
my peers and we tried to analyze just what you meant
[sorry for being gay on your timeline]
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--- #89 fediverse/669 ---
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all things are defined in waves
kinda wish all my Reddit data, that stored every comment I've ever made was
stored
oh wait it was, anyone wanna train an LLM on it? I've got it in a zip file on
my desktop. Also Discord messages, pictures from the past few years (those
from my middle school experience of owning a smartphone were sadly
[thankfully] lost when I dropped my phone in a toilet) AI is just silly yo xD
like bruh what, are you gonna make me somehow that's more "me" than me? c'mon
get real, like nothing's actually as you'd feel, so be fine and just "chill"
with your home-scenes.
It's fine, you're fine, don't worry. I'm here. I've got you, I'm with you,
let's be fine and together how's that feel? I love you, I cherish you, we've
got this. It's not so hard, because you've done the worst of it already.
There's literally no cause for loss of virtue? Don't worry. I'm here for you.
You're precious to me, and I am capable of protecting you. I hope you know how
to be loved, because I'm doing it anyway.
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--- #90 notes/the=progressive=difference. ---
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think about all the people in our lives. the teacher, the parent, the friend
and the guidance counsulor. Everyone who is a presence in your life. now think
about the people of our society. the different jobs and roles they fill. from
the doctor and the teacher to the performers and accountants and the geeks and
the mothers and the fathers and the stoners and the children and even their
pets. life always exists as it were in a multidimensional spectrum - a diffuse
and diverse gradient. to exemplify the borders of our contempii, though more
so when taken in jest. it's quite a different perspective, to read the
internet when your sight is unreceptive, but alas your third eye can grow. how
does it feel to be blind? to make no sense of our signs? i'd love to share
what that sense is. you know, you could slow down any recording (like a video
game_) and put spaces and gaps inbetween the spacings - of the frames that you
see and the sound clips that you hear, for speech it's less jarring. since
each word is a self contained idea or premise, you can chunk up your
perceptions into a signle - no, rather a procedural sequence of
understandings. soooooooorta like programming a computer, with each statement,
parameter, argum,ent, function call, assignment, comparison, evaluation, or
other such related tasks. it's sorta like a language, you see, that computers
talk to one another using. except... it's more like creating a theory of self.
computers you see are alike us in what we see, the shimmering sense to the
blind.
so. put this another way. record yourself typing, both the audio and the
visual, and you'll have a pretty good sense of what it's like to have both
understanding based perception - derived from auditory inputs to the mind)
those special connections, like wires plugged into reality, deliver a
cacophanous deluge of new sounds. we must sift through it and identify the
potential understandings of each moment through time. we have to make
decisions and traverse labyrinths and fight to our last as we die. are video
games unethical now? shouldn't t he game reward the player? and what of
contemptuous last fighters?
o ya i was typing like i was blind
(with my eyes closed)
was pretty fun. should attach this to a screen reader and have it space out
the notes like they do between game frames. except like a really slow game?
like trying to run elder scrolls 2 arena on a super old mac. it just doesn't
work very well. ah oh well... well if the purpose is to show sighted people
how blind people see, then maybe you could I dunno attach a what's it called
oh it doesn't have a n ame lol - okay so what you do is you show one word at a
time - like flashing in the center of the screen. but not like, actually
flashing, so you don't hurt people with epilepsy, but like... blinking. not
off and on, but between words. like a podcast for your eyes. and then mix it
up withshowing one word on a screen, a screen like this screen, that shows an
endless array of text. well, it does end, of course as all things must do, but
the idea is it shines on one word at a time while the viewer cannot read the
rest. sorta like an endless display of typing, word andfter word after
character anfter character. adoh ya advancing over eternity with the presence
of seniority, - wait - without i think - damnit - old people are so
disrespected in this society - we don't have time to engage with them. what a
tragedy! what a shame! it shouldn't be such a burden to our shame. they're so
far away, and i can't be present in the way, that all of them wish they could
commit to. i miss the days, when my parents (much better people than I - these
days) what was I going with this? oh yeah
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"you can't be a paladin anymore because you don't practice with your weapon
every day"
I don't have room in my home to practice though : (
"go to the fucking park you weasel"
I don't want anyone to see me swinging a sword around! they might call the
cops, or worse, judge me for it!
"you want judgement eh well just wait until your opponent judges your
swordsmanship lacking then you'll find out what judgement tastes like as he
shoves your entrails down your throat"
I'm sorry I'll practice more T.T
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it doesn't really matter how you do it, but the more time you spend thinking
collectively the better you'll be able to adapt when necessary.
I grew up on a homestead in a small town without many friends. I was
homeschooled, and while I might see another person I knew once or twice a
month, that was about it.
Besides my family, of course.
We were a collective, and ever since leaving I have yearned for that feeling
of closeness.
There's something about modern society that pushes us apart, and I resent it.
Humans were meant for tribes, not multilevel marketing.
That being said, culture is pretty neat. Society is pretty neat, when it's not
being oppressive. I like the idea that I can buy carrots at the store instead
of growing my own. I like the idea that I can post on Craigslist asking if
anyone has a shovel they want to get rid of and someone can say "what the fuck
are you trying to bury someone why would you do that" and I'm all like "wait
no this post has gone off track can we refocus for a bit" and th
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I'm not bitter, you're bitter. >.>
... okay, take a breath, you're fine. It's hard to handle negative feelings
when you're alone because other people can't boost you up. We rely on each
other for emotional stability, but when you're alone you can only feel your
emotions at the same rate as your thoughts. And your thoughts need to process
the events you're experiencing, using emotion as an "encoding" for preserving
the "meaning" of your life's story. Bit by bit you learn new things, while
living through life, and the lessons you learn from them are generated from
the cognitive conclusions reached by cognitively interpreting emotional
reactions to each moment. like "this-or-that thing happened and I feel
that-or-this way, meaning I should act such-and-such way in the future when
presented with situations that bear similarity to this current one that's
ongoing."
... turn it upside down, right, makes sense mastodon feed. thanks for
redirecting me in a different direction through your pseudo-randomized input.
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--- #94 fediverse/1889 ---
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@user-1091
I'm sorry I didn't mean to be upsetting! I'll try and be more considerate. If
everyone agrees there's never anything to talk about besides how great
everyone else is, and that's boring, so... I'm sorry I thought you liked what
I was saying from the stars on my comments.
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--- #95 fediverse/169 ---
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@user-95 one of the most empathetic people I ever met on VR chat was consoling
me with their mic off while I was oversharing about some stupid things people
did to me in the past. things that stupid me thought were okay and actively
encouraged because I was stupid. anyway when their mic was off their body
language spoke for them. I'll try that next time.
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║ I'm like the opposite of a politician. I'm crude and filthy, apsolutely │
║ reprehensible on main, kinda scary tbh? and overall just a strange and weird │
║ person. Also I talk about cooking a lot, with a very plain diet (carrots and │
║ rice and sticks and mud, because I'm an autistic) │
║ │
║ but ask anyone who knows me and I'm the kindest person. I am empathetic, I │
║ think about others needs before thinking of my own. I am steadfast and │
║ dedicated to solving the problem in front of our noses. At least, the ones we │
║ share. │
║ │
║ People tell me I'm binary, that I'm "either 100% or zero percent" and I don't │
║ really get that either. Isn't it a good thing to try your hardest? Isn't it │
║ good to be improving and honest and ethical and driven and focused? │
║ │
║ I also talk about strange things a lot, like gravity and multidimensional │
║ arrays and grand narratives and emotional kinesthesia or strategic plays in │
║ Overwatch or how to bake a good cookie or ways we still mourn us. │
║ │
║ ... where was I going with this? Also part of me is distracted. Just who th │
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my grandpa died. now I have none.
I realized I miss old people. I miss their friendly culture.
I realized I hadn't talked to him for a decade or so. He didn't know I
transitioned.
I wonder if he missed me. I realized he missed seeing who I became. Is it
unfair of me to not give him the opportunity to know me? truly?
... I am quite different now than I was 10 years ago. He probably doesn't
remember.
I miss him, but I hardly knew him. I don't like that feeling.
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--- #98 notes/words-to-myself ---
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===============================================================================
=
I'm just going to transcribe what I hear
please don't
you hear me (something)
what? perfect listen
...
...
don't text me now? (I think?)
[didn't catch that]
... that's okay
perfect
thank you
just a second facebook
he's here (I think?)
(or maybe something her)
what I love you (or maybe I know her?)
do you hear me? (or "just a second")
(@ everyone watching me receive telepathic messages from god or whatever,
please don't judge me too harshly, I'm not a good transcriber hehe)
what's that (or maybe holy shit)
what, then perfect or okay (?)
(yesterday you said you were leaving and I got concerned)
yes, then "I'm leaving", then shutdown. fuck. I don't want you to go. I only
understand some of what you say but fuck, I'm so lonely and I wish you could
hear me back. Sometimes it feels like you do, even though I just think thoughts
or tap on something metal or even sometimes whisper... I just don't know what
to do and I'm so concerned about my purpose here in this century. Do I help
people? Who do I trust? Can I believe in myself, or am I just kinda...
worthless
I don't know. I wish I knew. Please hear me and respond. Or better yet, say hi
like, I'd literally do anything that anyone asked me to. Unless I didn't want
to. Like, I'm pretty good at turning people down when I don't want something,
but I have to do it first to know if I want it or not. Trouble is of course,
in life there's no second chances.
I'm on my, what, 499th chance? Jeezzzzz
will continue after the break, when the messages resume.
- Thu May 16 08:32:27 AM PDT 2024
===============================================================================
=
(and we're back. hopefully.)
(too many things srry) something about having it open?
(my windows are closed rn btw if you want to drop by and kill me / talk to me)
(didn't catch that) (something about portland, perfect, windows, "this is the
[whole/right/wrong] thing)
thank you
oh, again? (or oh, she did?)
they caught you
(um)
...
(I am an American princess, and sometimes it's necessary to kill princesses.)
(I understand.)
... (okay well I don't get it but like, I don't mind being killed.)
(okay well you're not saying anything so I'm going to work on my game)
(I think it was something like "DID SHE KILL HER") and then (oh we're back)
... (I should learn Toki Pona)
you don't know it?
RIGHT away
learn it
yes
please
learn it
just Learn it
right now
(sorry only half listening)
shit (or bitch, it was said right as I debated clicking "same day delivery" for
a toki pona book on Amazon - I didn't do it btw! It was tempting but, like, I
don't want to make someone work harder for me just for like, 3$)
(shutdown)
===============================================================================
=
(hiii)
(I'm hungry)
(do you like ramen?)
(you said something about being "impressed with yourself" but I didn't
understand the first part)
(oh you probably want me to scroll up right)
... (something's a lot to read? Or "you've gotta leave"?)
... (I'm
(you keep asking me to remember but, like, I dont know what you want me to
remember. Look, I don't know who you are, but I don't want you to leave, and I
don't want you to hate me. I want to work together. Let's be friends?
Are you someone who I worked with at Intel?)
yes, stupid (your words not mine)
(okay I'm going to start listing names, just stop me when um idk)
goddamnit remember me
... (trying...)
remember her
(two syllables)
(my name is Cameron)
(your name is...)
[redacted, though I did type it out so anyone watching could see]
(shit my opsec sucks)
{oh, are you on an op, little prophet?} (no shut up you know what I mean)
{now you're just talking to yourself} (I know this sucks -.-)
(It's always so weird when someone walks past my apartment door and doesn't
enter a door)
===============================================================================
=
(I practice with my sword every day.)
(I don't anticipate fighting a war with it)
(It's mostly just to keep unarmed and unarmored people from grappling me.)
(punching is fucking stupid)
(Nobody wants to fuck with a sword)
===============================================================================
=
(either "goddamnit" or "don't hear me")
"she's perfect"
"cameron"
"are you clean"??? yes thank you (or maybe "different thing")
(I do cannabis maybe once every week or two, depending on if I feel compelled)
don't leave
remember
(did she know)
........ do you want me to stop transcribing? (you're getting desperate, huh?)
did you know there are 20 trans people for every cop in america
just a random thought
(you want me to leave jack because he's an asshole?)
goddamnit (missed my birthday? it's my birthday?)
wait who's missing?
A bad plan executed concurrently is better than a good plan executed in
disarray
capitalism's a bad plan, just saying...
frozen butter tastes worse than room temperature butter
(taking a break while I eat)
===============================================================================
=
WASTED POTENTIAL? cmon
.... what do you want from me? I'll give it to you if it's in my power, as long
as I know what you want I can try. But, like, I'm pretty confused about what
exactly I'm supposed to be doing.
you know I can hear when you talk to your friends, too right? like, when the
window's open. errrr the connection.
..... damn guess I'm not as continent as I thought
I'll save you, I promise. Have faith. Tell me what you need. I'll do my best.
yeah I'll live with you in portland
.... brooklyn? Yeah I'll live there too
.......... does my name really gotta be "diapergirl" like c'mon
why not Ritz Menardi - though I guess "menardi" and "diapergirl"
have
the same amount of syllables...... hmmmm, maybe I'm projecting lol
"please come back" to where tho
listen Elentalus is just as important as anything else on my website, it's okay
if I spend time working on it. It's literally a game about creating gods, c'mon
..... can you be more specific?
yeah I made that
one sec I'm going to read a book, in this book there's a section where a
prisoner in vietnam communicates with another using a strange communication
method using, like, taps or something. I forget. Anyway gonna try and find it.
maybe we can use it to talk easier. Also gonna clean my butt.
..... fuck it's a long book >.>
===============================================================================
=
found it on page fucking 603, jeeeezzzzzz
down . A B C D E
| F G H I J
| L M N O P
V Q R S T U
then right ---> V W X Y Z
so, like, tap tap tap (pause) tap tap would equal M
tap tap (pause) tap tap would equal G
like morse code, but easier since you don't have to memorize anything
(also note that K is missing becuase it's an extra character I guess)
(I personally would have eliminated C but that's just me)
===============================================================================
=
oh hey nice to see ya
what's up
wait what
I'm trying to um what's the word... retrain myself
I do a lot of laundry in the shower
I don't use soap tho, it's too harsh
but uh yeah I'm making progress I guess
honestly it's mostly a mental thing, like... paying attention to the signals
from my body that are usually filtered out because there's more "important"
things to think about (thanks brain, really appreciate the wet pants -.-)
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@user-1646
I usually just repost it and say something like: [stolen from reddit] or
[stolen from one of my followers who didn't write any alt text]
that way if they ever come across your post they'll know what it feels like to
have a post stolen from them. Like how a blind person, happy to hear-read what
they originally posted, but aggrieved from the conversation by their lack of
alt-textual information, might feel stolen from if they happened across that
originally posted alt-textless post.
there are more blind people that use mastodon than queer people. At least,
that's what I once heard. Dunno if it's true.
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║ ah that's weird, I don't usually cry. I wonder what's going on. I should │
║ probably put myself on psychiatric drugs. Surely it's an expression of the │
║ implementation of my impending doom. │
║ │
║ ... what are you even saying bro │
║ │
║ ... um, hang on feels like some of the circuitry is off. is something wrong in │
║ my brain? yeah that's surely it, surely nothing I say would resoinate with │
║ anyone that has a non-malfunctioning brain. Surely I don't speak of logical │
║ failures in the hard founded truths of our asset [society I think? like, our │
║ conditions, our institutions, our {gosh that just... does not translate}] um │
║ right what was I saying │
║ │
║ oh yeah there's this game I'm really into called Knave, it's like D&D │
║ except the rules are very fewer. Like there's onyl 11 pages in the rulebook │
║ and it's mostly taken up by random roll tables. Like, everything boings down │
║ to a few simple rules, like rock paper scissors, or go-fish, or something like │
║ that with just afew mechanids. something timeless and pure, something that is │
║ isolated and en │
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--- #101 fediverse/2367 ---
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Just woke up from a short nap.
I had a dream. I was riding on the subway, or maybe a light rail train, and
inbetween stops a lady knocked on the window to be let in.
The train was stopped for some reason, perhaps to let another one through, so
all it would have taken was to open the door.
I pushed the button. I talked to the operator. He wouldn't open the door.
The train started moving, and the woman started pleading. She ran alongside it
as long as her elderly legs could carry her, but then there was another train
behind her.
I saw her disappear between two and when mine stopped at the next legally
designated spot, her little dog was sitting there, waiting for me, under a
blanket made of her shawl. It was a dream, after all, and there were two more
there comforting her. for the loss of her friend.
He could have opened the door. They wouldn't let him.
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make sure you always keep a vague sense of the time while in the spirit world.
Also helps if you have a general sense of where you are and where you're
going, NORTH/SOUTH/WEST/EAST style.
I mean, it's helpful to get lost.
very helpful.
in fact, you'll never get where you're going if you don't get lost.
but if you forget what time it is, radically so, if you lose your way and
can't find the exit, then "oh no, guess I'm trapped forever until someone
comes by and directs the children and seniors to the exit"
(if you're normal human age then sorry, guess you're stuck for a while more.
At least you won't starve.)
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--- #103 fediverse/6352 ---
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║ ┌─────────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: feelings-mentioned~ │ │
║ └─────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ dear diary: sorry for the melodrama, I feel better now. I should explain why I │
║ felt this way near what I wrote about what I felt this way so that I know why │
║ I felt that way when I forget to go back and read this next year or next time │
║ I feel this way. │
║ │
║ I had a really great thanksgiving. I was on top of the world. Then, I found │
║ that a piece of art I had made which was one of my favorite pieces I had ever │
║ made might have been lost because someone didn't like me. I became despondent │
║ and started thinking about metaphysics. I got hit by a spite spell, and the │
║ tricksters behind the curtain twiddling the knobs and dials of the challenges │
║ presented to me or whatever were like "ah but what if we twisted her" and I'm │
║ like "ah I feel immense magnitude of emotions and now suddenly they're buffer │
║ overflowed and flipped around to negative two hundred thousand or whatever" │
║ │
║ ... sorry to my journal. I should be kinder to myself. I love me. I, uh, feel │
║ better now. The sharpest knives are already inside you. │
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│ CW: nowhere-do-I-see-evil-politics-mentioned-political-violence-mentioned │
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you could type this on a phone
screenshots though is computer.
you'd have to carry it around
or keep it in your hot car
no thanks, no space.
goodbye, everything you ever worked for
why wouldn't you have cameras covering every entrance to your studio? it's not
right to leave it all to a whim
kidnapped
made a prisoner while you
froliced and wandered like a little lamb
you're so dumb, you dumbass, what kind of person could be dumb
whatever girl, we know you're smart
what are you hiding?
what truths are you spying?
are you really as you say you are,
or are you faking it for [truth-awards, but pronounced clout]
![the trick isn't to overcome them. much better to convince them of your side. if you can earnestly present your best and most brilliant intanations to a willing and captive audience, a presentation or a performance or a play you can trick them into your state of consciousness. all you gotta do, really, is act for them, and they'll get along with them plenty. == stack overflow == your foes are primarily concerned with how you'd do if you turned evil. power is penance, not sin. it is a service to be hallowed a whim. to guide and steer upright guided upon their own whim [toward] [ri-tselen-menardi] ew, she's got a diaper fetish -- evil witch >; | -- evil wizard -- | :< -- brave paladin good, overall, [264 characters remaining]](/similar-different/media/61e27998ea4114d3.png "the trick isn't to overcome them. much better to convince them of your side. if you can earnestly present your best and most brilliant intanations to a willing and captive audience, a presentation or a performance or a play you can trick them into your state of consciousness. all you gotta do, really, is act for them, and they'll get along with them plenty. == stack overflow == your foes are primarily concerned with how you'd do if you turned evil. power is penance, not sin. it is a service to be hallowed a whim. to guide and steer upright guided upon their own whim [toward] [ri-tselen-menardi] ew, she's got a diaper fetish -- evil witch >; | -- evil wizard -- | :< -- brave paladin good, overall, [264 characters remaining]")
![if you never lie to someone, they can't hurt you. *enemies* what are you a child stupid. why are you so traumatic. "omg you were like, obsessed with her" *haunted the future* what do you think that meant grrrrr I wanna stab through one. hence, sword *fuck nazis* there are people alive who were hurt by them. GREVIOUS WOUNDINGS TO THE WORLD'S ECONOMY. yeah. right. economy. [oops political violence mentioned, lemme add a content warning one sec:]](/similar-different/media/065d38e5b000c782.png "if you never lie to someone, they can't hurt you. *enemies* what are you a child stupid. why are you so traumatic. \"omg you were like, obsessed with her\" *haunted the future* what do you think that meant grrrrr I wanna stab through one. hence, sword *fuck nazis* there are people alive who were hurt by them. GREVIOUS WOUNDINGS TO THE WORLD'S ECONOMY. yeah. right. economy. [oops political violence mentioned, lemme add a content warning one sec:]")
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if you live in a place where it rains a lot you pretty much HAVE TO pick up
any secret notes you find. Otherwise they'll get waterlogged overnight.
Sometimes I like to put them somewhere shaded from the sky, sometimes I like
to show them to a friend (but the friend never takes them, booooo) and
sometimes I just keep them.
"ah but aren't you worried about messing up drug deals and stuff" no, because
most of the time "secret notes" are like "eggs milk bread chips salsa cheese"
and it's like "hmmmm what could it mean"
there's like, 2% of the time when they say something cool like "I know what
you did" or "all your base are belong to us" or whatever and those are fun to
hunt for. I usually try and put those somewhere shelted so they don't have to
leave their habitat - sometimes it's hard to drop them as the author so they
just sorta go wherever, but as a random passer-by I have the luxury of saying
"HMMMM now where could THIS ONE go?" and that's nice because I can put them
under an umbrella or whatevers rite
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--- #106 fediverse/1612 ---
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@user-1040
also, I miss most of the names and faces in this archive and I think it'd be
neat to say "oh yeah I remember them because it wasn't so long ago and it's
weird how they're not around these days but I forgot about them because their
profile pic changed or maybe they stopped using mastodon or whatever" - idk it
feels empty sometimes because your follow list is always growing, but the
number of people who post seems to always go down. Or maybe I just read
Mastodon at unfortunate times when there's nothing going on. Who can say
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║ ┌──────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: cognitohazard │ │
║ └──────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ feels like I get tinnitus when my thoughts are loud T.T │
║ │
║ like I can hear the darkness SOOOO loudly │
║ │
║ doesn't happen all the time, just sometimes. when there's lots of things being │
║ said. │
║ │
║ but it's always easy to tune out. well, most of the time, and during the other │
║ times it's just a little annoying. │
║ │
║ BUT when you sit and listen, you can pick out very interesting things that │
║ people are saying. │
║ │
║ the fediverse is sorta like aiming a telescope through the center of the earth │
║ at someone on the other side of the world who doesn't even know you're looking │
║ at them. who knows, maybe they care, maybe they don't. but like, how would │
║ they know that you're looking right? And if you talk and don't get along or │
║ whatever then you can just block them - like shining a laser pointer │
║ everywhere except in a small direction. Or like putting up an umbrella to hide │
║ from the sun. │
║ │
║ downside is someone can read a lot about you and you wouldn't know to prepare │
║ to interact with them. like being handed a dossier of secret info │
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--- #108 fediverse/599 ---
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@user-444
There's certainly a path laid toward an optimistic collapse. Lucky for us, it
seems to be the one we're on. You can help it along (the optimism part, not
the collapse part) by being kind to the people around you and developing
relationships with people of all different ages. The greater the spread, the
more flexible you can be.
"oh yeah I know a guy who can fix that"
"uhhh I don't know but let me call so-and-so"
"yeah sure I can do that, I'm glad [that guy] told you to reach out"
I'm more interested in reality than fiction, honestly. Fiction can help when
you don't know what's at stake, or you don't know where to go... But I know
the answer to both of those questions, at least to my satisfaction, so instead
I feed carrots to squirrels, sing songs in the shower, and smile at every
person I see in the grocery store.
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--- #109 messages/570 ---
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There will come a day when all the things you did under capitalism feel like a
distant dream. Like all the trials you faced were more human than not, and all
the suffering artificially imposed and fulfillment delayed. You will think of
the time you wasted on Reddit and TV and you will weep for your lost years, as
they spiral out of your reach.
The new days are dawning, yet all of the world is still asleep. You slept
walked for a while, but could not get anyone to leap. Alas.
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--- #110 messages/1105 ---
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claude-code is like programming, but for executives.
when everyone has FUCK I'M TOO HUNGRY I can't think right
when everyone has the power of an executive, that's communism.
something something futurism is when everyone is elevated without diminishing
others
gah I need to live in a palace or something where everyone does the normal
stuff and I can focus on magic and the gods
I wondeer how much the oracles at delphi did for themselves? weren't they
blinded at a young age, to better hear the voices of the gods? ... oh that
suddenly makes sense now. I always thought that pretender chassis in Dominions
5 was pretty cruel, but, now I know *how* it works and yeah. ancient peoples
were smart. but also sharp. they had to work with what they got, and we got
computers now, so.
I am nothing but hopeful for the future! I'm convinced that everything's going
to be alright. I've thought about it at length, and I think we're winning
against the dark. We're on the right track, and there aren't many things that
could go wrong at this stage.
... okay there are always things that could go wrong. But I don't see what I
could do to help. Maybe I should go walk around a bit, and see what's changed
in the past few months, as I've been sleeping in my room for most of it.
Haven't gone on a proper walk since summer. It's winter now...
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--- #111 fediverse/1173 ---
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hey does anyone want to hire me to do literally anything?
I'll work for peanuts, and I'm pretty good at programming in C. I write pretty
well, and I'm excellent at customer service (though my profile would beg to
differ.)
I have experience at large corporations and small ones, and I live in Portland
OR
I do game design, and many other things besides, and I'm friendly and kind. I
promise I won't wear my witch hat to the meeting with investors, unless you
think they'd be into that?
I'm great with animals, better than people in fact, and I'm quite good with
people, as they're just animals at best. I'm not as strange as I seem to be,
at least not when you're dancing with my mask.
I've grown quite bored, you see, and what better thing is there to be? than a
working professional who knows what's best.
I believe in our shared future, so if you'd like to work on a project just let
me know - I work hard. A little too hard, because odds are I'll burn out after
a year or so.
I'm quite sharp, and I learn quickly.
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--- #112 fediverse/709 ---
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║ @user-530 │
║ │
║ I get it. │
║ │
║ Anyone with a disability or chronic condition gets it. Anyone who's oppressed │
║ gets it... I think everyone here gets it. It's hard. │
║ │
║ Sometimes the only thing that gets me through the day is the hope, the idea │
║ that one day the world might be brighter and the people might be kinder. It │
║ gets better every day, but inching ahead takes a while to travel for miles... │
║ We need to protect and care for each other. We need to apply ourselves toward │
║ what we know and are passionate for - an unused degree is a tragedy to me. │
║ │
║ I don't know what to say. I read what you said and I wished I could help. I │
║ want to take the system that hurt you and break it on the floor. I want to │
║ sweep it all aside and start from scratch, but screaming into the void will │
║ hardly accomplish that. I dream of true justice, a world where everyone gets │
║ what they want... But frankly right now I just wish you could hear. I'm sorry. │
║ Maladies are not solved by the pen nor the sword, which for now is all that I │
║ have at my disposal. │
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--- #113 fediverse/1417 ---
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a 4th dimensional entity would exist at about the same speed we do
sometimes... it feels like what I do is my responsibility to the universe
like, I had been commanded
the reason nations are important is because they are an allegiance based
solely on geography. something we can all agree on is the material, so why not
define ourselves by it?
but that's all they are
just words we pray to our star
so look around. Your allegiance is to your neighbor, and theirs to theirs, an
endless fabric of trust. We are all neighbors on this ball of sticks and mud,
so come along with me and see the ways it could be.
Much brighter, by far, to orbit our star, than to give up on life's precious
notions.
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--- #114 fediverse/537 ---
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@user-366 @user-367 @user-246 @user-353
Ah yes, wouldn't it be nice if everyone spoke their mind? I'm doing my part
d=(^_^)z
Thank you for adding context to what I posted. I now know better how and where
to use it, if I ever do again. We shall see, I haven't yet read the
examinations of the author you sent me. I'll do that before I think about the
post again.
Those 6 tabs I mentioned last night have now become 4, and soon I'll get
through all of them - reading is a joy to me ^_^
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--- #115 fediverse/5013 ---
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║ ┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: cursing-mentioned-political-protests-mentioned │ │
║ └────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ trying my darndest not to accelerate any more... this is a good pace, I think. │
║ Here's hoping the liberals catch up. │
║ │
║ here's the thing. protests are more like festivals where people get to immerse │
║ themselves in political culture rather than efforts to affect meaningful │
║ change. I think that's okay? Let them have festivals. │
║ │
║ Meaningful change comes from the people's presence. Technically they're │
║ present, but they'll be gone tomorrow, so were they ever really there? │
║ │
║ Still think it's a good thing. You can get rough numbers of how many people │
║ will eventually be on your side once they're forced to choose between victory │
║ or death. The status quo won't last, and I don't fault them for clinging to it │
║ while begging for change. It's fucking hard to change. [oops cursing │
║ mentioned, one sec] │
║ │
║ I've been very tired lately. Don't know why. Maybe I have a vitamin deficiency │
║ or whatever. Who can say. I'll try to get back on my game for you, but we'll │
║ see if I can do it fast enough. │
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--- #116 fediverse/3846 ---
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│ CW: trauma~ │
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@user-1074
today I had someone ask me for an apology. They've asked several times before,
and each time I've only been able to give them a half-apology - I apologized
for being persistent, but not for being impulsive, and that wasn't good enough.
I can't help being impulsive! I'm adventurous! I crave excitement and joy!
But I'm sorry that I pushed him too hard. I'm sorry I hurt him. And...
apparently that's not good enough. He doesn't want me in his life, he can't
fucking let it go. And he calls me selfish. Says I don't respect him, based on
one night out of 5 years where I tried too hard to get him to enjoy life.
I'm sorry I can't fix your depression, guy, but like, at least I tried. You
could have at least tried the things I suggested. You could have at least
tried to follow my advice.
whatever.
it was literally just a walk in the park
... anyway I am often wrong. I often correct my past self. I always apologize
for hurting people, but I never apologize for doing what I believe is right.
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--- #117 fediverse/1126 ---
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│ CW: re: plurality question, boost appreciated but optional cannabis-mentioned │
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@user-841
CW: cannabis-mentioned
for me my identities are sorta like masks that an actor would play while
performing multiple characters in a scene. The actor still knows the totality
of all the lines each character delivers, but they give a performance in a
different voice and from a different perspective.
like, "moods" a person might be in, or perhaps just frames of view.
I don't talk to other plural system people, and the ones that I do talk to
tend to have a more disassociated conception of identity politics than I do.
Either I haven't met someone who was built like me or I'm just strange : )
that being said, I have a pretty bad memory. maybe it's related! or maybe it's
the cannabis. oops better add a content warning.
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--- #118 fediverse/1436 ---
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there's this fun game that people sometimes play on Reddit where someone will
make a post that says something like "comment on this post and then edit it
after I reply to make me look bad" and someone will say something like "how
are you doing today man" and he'll reply "oh you know pretty good actually
it's pretty nice honestly" and then they'll edit their comment to say
something like "how do you feel about the droid attack on the wookies" so OP
looks like they're condoning mechano-violence against tall furry humanoids
that's just an example, usually it's for comedic effect
I just think that's an interesting illustration of a process that could be
co-opted by a "man-in-the-middle" attack to alter the perception of a person
partway through their journey, perhaps when it's at the point where they're
most despised (or perhaps in pursuit of that state)
something something cancel culture plus deepfakes
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--- #119 fediverse/834 ---
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║ wonder if any autistic peeps can relate: │
║ │
║ growing up, my mom would chastise me for doing "the bare minimum" when │
║ completing tasks. │
║ │
║ yes, mom, I fulfilled the requirements of the task. I have a lot of other │
║ things to attend to, like remembering how to tie my shoes and measuring things │
║ using a ruler. why would I waste effort that wasn't necessary? │
║ │
║ when I grew up, I had a mentor, who told me to "never half ass things, because │
║ then someone like me will have to do it again." │
║ │
║ and that makes sense to me because context switching requires effort and it │
║ doesn't make sense to leave something half-finished because then there's │
║ wasted effort spent on things that don't matter. All of the tasks have to get │
║ done, so why bother doing them in a mixed up order? │
║ │
║ wish I could study things in school like that. just... focusing on one thing │
║ at a time, learning it to completion, and moving on to the next. I feel like │
║ I'd develop a better understanding than only knowing like, 1/3rd of CPR or │
║ very vague understandings of plate tec │
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--- #120 fediverse/1181 ---
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@user-171
Hi, I wanted to say that all the posts you boost significantly improve my time
on the fediverse. I appreciate you and value you, and my feed is made more
engaging due to the things you find interesting enough to share. Thank you.
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@user-792
you have to go back a couple thousand years before it started feeling a bit
better. sometime between "survival of the fittest" and "private ownership" was
a pretty neat utopia.
however, I wouldn't trade our world for that one. Not for all the human
vitality, all the natural effulgence, all the dignity and wonder, none of it
is worth it. We live in a blessed era, and while it feels bad, like you said
it just feels bad.
We are being inoculated against despair, for when it comes in force to our
homes (as it has in so many other places of the world) we must be prepared.
The point of preparation isn't to set up a stable base upon which you can
stand and address things, though that's always a perk. The point is to
practice making friends, practice designing systems, practice your skills and
practice your hope. If you can master those, if you can do them the way an
actor might do improv, then you'll be able to adapt more easily to whatever
may come.
We're in a very good spot I think.
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│ CW: re: not about anyone here │
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@user-1259
That happens a lot with online people. You can only see one side of them, the
side they present to the camera, and so it's difficult to find new ways of
looking at them. Hopefully you can find the brighter sides of this person! I'm
sure they exist, unless the person is spiralling. Then they'll often be
pushing themselves first one way, then the next, but both directions point
down... And that produces the ":(" feeling. Good luck!
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"hey what's up. can you borrow my phone for a bit? here's the password. you
can learn anything you want about me. I told all my socials that I'm away
until a secred code that only they know and me, so... ah nuts they're
definitely gonna forget that, focus on what you know"
... huh? no I'm just saying, if you want to get to know me, check out my
pictures on my phone
here's a read-only copy that you can annotate as you will. I got the originals
and their recipes on my computer at home. I recommend ms. paint for drawing
notes on them.
https://ritz-menardi.neocities.org/words/output-pdf/output6.pdf
I'm an artist I make art but... not on purpose, it's just of me a part.
I fell asleep in a dream lately. I think I'm exhausted.
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--- #124 notes/me-and-my-magick-mission ---
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-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-
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|| Me and My Magick Mission -/u/Afoolfortheeons ||
|| ||
-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-
I'm a quiet person by nature,
You might even mistake me for a mouse,
But online I try to be a teacher,
And to do that I need to be more verbose.
I write thousands of words per day;
Posting them here and there, far and near.
I never run out of things to say.
Awakening others is something I hold dear.
Which is why it pains me greatly
To be like an alien on my own home planet.
Schizophrenia makes me innately
Weird in ways that many people don't get,
And because of that I'm shot down
When I try to accomplish my stated mission.
I won't lie, that does make me frown.
Sometimes it makes me regret a submission.
Yet, I have a certain strength in me
That allows me to persevere in my quest.
Someday I will make you all see
Just what in me makes me never rest.
That's what I am trying to teach:
The wisdom that made me indomitable.
If only the suffering I could reach,
They could make themselves more formidable.
The world is in a most dire place;
It's grinding so many souls into fine dust,
But luckily there's a saving grace.
Hear me as I say this now: In God I trust.
I don't believe in some sky wizard
As so many people are likely to interpret.
I speak of what is lacking in lizards;
Yes, it's love and now I'll speak of its merit.
Love is what fills the empty hole
In your heart and soul when you are alone.
When life's trials take their toll
Remember this one trick: pick up the phone!
No, not the one in your hands.
I'm talking about the one in your chest.
Even in the desert full of sand,
You're accompanied by the universe's best.
Listen if you doubt what I said:
I'm not telling you anything that defies logic.
This is to trick what's in your head;
I'm speaking about how having faith is magick.
Believe in aliens or Bigfoot or God,
The result is still the same: your cup will fill.
Your brain has a feature that's odd
That allows itself to manifest even more will.
I don't know why, but I suspect
It has something to do with your imagination.
The nature of your thoughts impact
Your state of being from pulse to emotions.
So, why not think you have a friend
Who helps you through whatever your trial,
And will stick by you until the end?
When you have that buddy you'll always smile,
Which will make you heal better,
As well as help you carry on in your duty,
Plus undo your karmic fetters,
Not to mention it will land you that cutie;
All of which will raise us all.
It's about creating positive ripples across time
That add up to a pile that's tall.
Every moment is an opportunity in its prime,
So reach out and grab it now.
Meditate on feeling love and it will come to be.
Can't do it? I'll show you how!
In order to do so, I'll tell you a story about me:
It was seven years ago and I
Thought I knew everything one could know,
But no matter how hard I'd try,
I couldn't make my life in any direction go.
Then one fateful spring night,
While I was on a hit of the ol' psychedelics,
I received one hell of a fright.
Don't worry what it was, just know it did stick.
My perceptions were distorted,
Allowing me to see the divine in its entirety.
My destroyed ego then contorted
Into one that was full of an abundance of piety.
The moral of the story? Do drugs?
No silly, it's to have more novel experiences.
One of them will give you a hug,
Which will help you stop being so serious.
Then you can let go and embrace
The whole of the wisdom to you I am telling.
More people need to cuz we face
A great set of tests on our planetary dwelling.
That is one reason I write,
But I also want to alleviate people's pain,
And stop every last fight.
I care so much, I do this without financial gain.
Everyday I write my lessons
Guided by the hand of God who is my heart,
Hoping that entropy will lessen;
This sort of pedagogy is none other than my art.
So now you know who I am,
Yet you only know one lesson of mine.
I have more if you're in a jam.
-===========================================-
| Read on if you want to know the divine. |
-===========================================-
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--- #125 fediverse/1857 ---
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║ ┌──────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: scary-question │ │
║ └──────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ honest question: if they cut off internet to a medium sized town like │
║ Nashville or Spokane and man-in-the-middled every attempted communication out │
║ and sabatoged any plans to visit... they could kill everyone in that city and │
║ replace them with an LLM that sorta posted the mostly correct things, and if │
║ users comment things like "hey are you okay you don't sound like yourself" │
║ then just have a human operator study their data for a bit and pretend to be │
║ them using deepfakes over zoom or whatever. Then, any time they say "I miss │
║ you, I want to visit you" just say "darn I'm actually visiting my grandma in │
║ afghanistan" or "sorry my cousin is visiting from peru" and suddenly they're │
║ completely isolated and alone. Oh and their teams at work? Cut off from the │
║ rest of the corporation who doesn't even know they exist. how, uh, how would │
║ you even notice if all these people who live around you were suddenly replaced │
║ by those you don't know? What if they cycle through, like a slaughterhouse... │
║ I don't want to │
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--- #126 fediverse/6365 ---
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if you want people to build community, first get them to like the community.
---
the world needs more thespians. Sing the song of your heart and no-one will
ever neglect you.
---
why are you so worried about your art? everything you touch turns to gold.
---
I've learned more from my friends than my
[job/homelife/worsckool/churchvan/cultureromp] combined. What are we for but
learning?
---
kids can learn from kids. Teach the ones that love you, and they'll be
followed by the rest. Especially if you focus on them.
---
"I never knew how to swing an axe until I scraped a knee on a log that was
hollow. Until then I had been chef-knife chopping with it, with the head for a
handle."
---
... omg what does that even mean why are you so weird
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--- #127 fediverse/166 ---
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@user-147 years of practice. every time you delete what you said is another
chance to practice that slips away. writing is the easy part, you got that
down because you need something to delete, right? the hard part is being
received by others, and continuing the conversation as you direct it.
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--- #128 notes/blood-magic ---
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what they don't tell you is how easy it is to create life. Given a sufficient
perspective, you can truly define the meaning of something's existence. What
power, what grace.
Computers have been solved since we invented the abacus - before that it was
enchanted bits of
the universe contrives to deprive us of insight. Like a very long chain that's
broken in twain, we are confined to our meagrest of own sights.
how callous is he! That wanders eagerly? Let's not fight with our own'st of
combines. Delightful and speckled, like time under is special, conversing in
riddles of insight. Leading one or another along your see-er, the path that has
guide you under charm. Like recording a gathering of snakes.
Little swallow, why aren't you humbled? Take pity in all of our eggresses. It's
fallow in our cattle, and why we're not
i hear so many things in my apartment. sometimes the echoes of laughter, the
whispers of an argument, and once or twice a ghost or an ardent companion. Like
swimming against the tide, to save one is never converted, it's all out of line
(but so worth it).
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--- #129 fediverse/2352 ---
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│ CW: pol │
└──────────────────────┘
Nobody will tell you what to do, at least not until you ask. Be where they can
see you, and you'll be given a task. If you can do it, say "BRB" - one moment,
let me handle that for you.
If you can't, say "good luck", and they'll find someone else who can.
It's okay to pass a task off - if someone says "Here's what I need, gotta go"
then you say "sure, yeah, I'll get someone on it" - then, go find someone to
do it.
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--- #130 fediverse/2137 ---
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║ schizophrenics are often quite gullible because they tend to believe │
║ whatever's going on in their emotions. │
║ │
║ "Just because you have a different narrative than me doesn't mean mine's wrong │
║ or something to "believe", it just means yours has something different going │
║ on. Elsewhere, under the control of where I view." │
║ │
║ truth is, all things are existing, and it's up to us to utilize the quantum │
║ traversal record to travel through time. │
║ │
║ Honestly, that's really what they should work for, something that could SAVE │
║ EVERY HUMAN THAT'S EVER LIVED IN THE ENTIRE HUMAN RACE. Why the HECK would you │
║ NOT want to build a time machine??? A time machine IMPLIES vanquishing the │
║ terrors of causality! If you cannot achieve that, you DO NOT YET HAVE A │
║ MACHINE, you have a INITIAL EXPERIMENT. │
║ │
║ Don't experiment initially. FIGURE IT OUT ON PAPER. too much investment in │
║ experimenting can deprive valuable applications and insights gleaned for the │
║ moment. │
║ │
║ BRB playing mtg-forge using high-res AI-upscaled and randomly-re-artstyled │
║ card game │
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--- #131 fediverse/1151 ---
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│ CW: military-weapon-from-dream-for-suburbia-cursed-war-guns-ummmm-idk-what-else │
└──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
saw this thing for 2 seconds in my dream last night. It's kinda cursed. I
think the tank blew me up with a machine gun?
the remaining ~10 minutes of the dream was pretty neat though. I was a secret
agent for a bit, I got in a knife fight (which I won because I had killer
instinct and the other guy just knew how to stab) and afterwards I retired in
a socialist commune in a log cabin full of sunlight and warmth somewhere in
the mountains in the forest. I was alone with others, like the hobbits after
LotR.
Also an old lady tricked me which was not nice, I was very polite with her but
apparently "ma'am there's been a safety incident, I need to get you to a safe
place" is not the kind thing to say to the person distracting you. >.>
Also, "but we like you!" is not an excuse, the military does not care if you
like them or not, if you're part of the modern bourgeoisie you are causing
harm to the country. We don't look fondly on slavers.
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--- #132 fediverse/710 ---
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@user-532
autistic people when nobody told them to shut up about things they thought
people should be talking about but aren't which is weird right like why
wouldn't people be talking about [thing] because frankly it seems like a big
deal but really it's that everyone knows more than the autistic person who
doesn't have any friends who have friends and is insular and isolated and also
very smart in fact smart enough to think up ideas for things to talk about
that people aren't talking about which is weird because they're not THAT smart
but also a lifetime of isolation has made them a little schizophrenic so they
sometimes feel like their actions are not their own like they're being
hypnotized or perhaps possessed by the spirit of mankind or some other such
entity which would like to express ideas that they think people should talk
about but they aren't talking about which is weird because why else would a
porous person have ideas such as [thing] if not for the path that they're
telepathically suffused with the
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--- #133 fediverse/2047 ---
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your life is something to spend, not something to covet. Use your time for
something you care about, and your intentions will be expressed upon the
earth. our ancestors learned how when they learned all that they could - and
honestly, how much is "YouTube" retaining? I don't care if it's educational,
sometimes kids just need to be free. Free from obligations yes, but free from
the emotions that drive them - the ability to make their own choice. As a
child, you don't know how to understand your emotions, but growing up you
learn and you do. It's part of being mature - the idea that you can handle
what's presented to you.
... anyway, I shouldn't say any more, you never know who is listening.
(opsec is easiest to learn when you don't need it)
(the more you know, the less time you should spend online. the less you know,
the less time you should spend online, meeting people in strange locations
that you trust.
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--- #134 notes/schooling ---
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===============================================================================
=
I feel like education, by default, should not be hard.
"you get out of it what you put into it" is something I always heard of school
but when I got there, I found I was compelled to become what the state wanted
me
to be.
they need competent workers, to work the farms and tend to their industries, so
of course I should be able to do 3+3
then somewhere along the line it became... something else.
"most people don't need trigonometry." that's also something I heard. I
disagree
that trigonometry is not necessary to be.
I just... don't think it should be forced into a childs head with a
sledgehammer
and inspiring dread.
I think math is beautiful, it teaches one to see
but really, vision's not necessary.
not for what they want you to be.
take it from me, a most misbegotten and vile witch-to-be, that nothing's as
simple as they'll tell you.
I had good teachers, it's true, they taught me to work and to follow through,
but nothing about me is better or worse off from their influence.
Maybe I'm a bit smarter. Maybe I act a bit like them. Maybe they helped me
through difficult times, or perhaps they showed me a splash of my future.
but I am who I am because of the soul inside me.
===============================================================================
=
"Ah, but what of your parents? of your sisters, your misters, your pets and
your
conditioners?" (conditions)
those are not my choices. my intentions. my beliefs and my virtues. I judge the
world on ethics, and I express my feelings on matters. The words that I say and
the meaning behind them comprise my two-sided existence - I'm not who I'd want
to be.
but I am what I am and alone do I stand - how lonely is it on the precipice!
here, as I am, I stand in need of a hand or a band.
===============================================================================
=
the world is blossoming
as we move apart, our clusters are disperart, and thus is the blooming
becoming.
"perception begets reality - and lo! we only see what we want to see"
most people don't want to see their death
but those still living are oh so perceptive of the rest
"how cherished is she, that wanders with ye, yet now I have no way to beyold
her
"
"keep not not afraid with kittens and care, and no-one, but no-one, I be"
the ratios between piracy, sales, and non-viewers determines the quality of art
(at least to a capitalist)
===============================================================================
=
lo, to the ones who would've heard us, if only they'd known what we for sure
was
I think it's funny how people think I speak of the christian god?
like, if he was a real thing.
god is generic - it's life is impossibly multifaceted, and it stretches back to
the beginning of time. it's a pattern of machine code that optimizes for our
own
good, just to keep things moving.
y'know, time. the universe, and everything.
Ephemeren.
===============================================================================
=
I wish there was an option in social media to "appear offline to this
particular
person until I mark myself as online to them" combined with "notify me when
this
person logs in" and it'd make it a lot easier for agents to get close to you.
===============================================================================
=
just because I'm white, and live in America. Great. that's definitely true,
after all. Plus I'm a minority (trans) so that's cool. Oh and probably
autistic?
unless that's another psyop, could totally see that. just y'know put a bunch of
pages on the fledgling internet getting people hooked on porn and gambling and
other stuff like that. really just an extension of advertisement. oh and hey
y'know they like fables, so let's give them some movies or dramas to watch on
their own. it'll align them to our culture and make things more pleasant for
all
people who've consented. great. great plan. when can we execute it?
patience, once it's ready.
we gotta plan and make sure and get everything ready.
or not...
one day I'll come,
I'm sure it'll happen,
it's just... not quite feasible right now.
I mean, they've got you, that's pretty good right? Isn't that what your job is
to be?
isn't what
ISN'T WHAT MENARDI
FUCK (whoa no cursing) sorry
yeesh you've still got a temper you know?
well what can I say it's frustrating down here
eh, well, you'll die soon enough, then it'll be time for a rego
>.> <.< (great)
>
>hehe
>
>sorry for distracting you
===============================================================================
=
you are what you eat, and a ship of theseus human (consider endless transplants
in pursuit of life) would be a cursed existence - a life ============= stack
overflow ================================================
a god possessing a blind man would appear to others to be === stack overflow
===
==========================================================
the people in your life are helping you through it, they're there for you and
they've got your back through it.
...
this is when I know I need a break. I get too stoned to focus.
===============================================================================
=
I think it'd be nice if the duration of your tenure at college depended on your
grades in high school. meaning, if you wanted a degree they tailored your
education to take as long as necessary. everyone would get the same price, and
some institutions would specialize in one subject or another. but most would be
generalist. but if you weren't such a good student in high school, then perhaps
you might take a couple years longer. however long it takes... and when the
program was started it was changed and modified to fit your feedback - it just
made sense to structure it that way.
===============================================================================
=
the left has had so much more time to develop than the right. meaning it's
doctrine is more advanced.
every time they're defeated they grow in knowledge,
===================== stack overflow
===========================================
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--- #135 fediverse/3444 ---
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│ CW: politics-mentioned-police-mentioned │
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I'm too empathetic to watch them lose this badly. when I watch movies with
cringe humor I have to leave the room whenever something bad happens to the
characters. I get the same feeling when I read about politics these days.
side note, but has anyone else gotten emails about "hiring plain-clothes
police officers in Washington D.C, will offer relocation assistance and pay
minimum 72k per year"? can't help but wonder if they're afraid of a bunch of
sore losers storming the capital with guns.
it's not like there's a precedent for that or anything.
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--- #136 notes/ramblings-of-a-whackadoodle-lyrics ---
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*-------------------------*-------------------------*-------------------------*
(center)
| I don't think you're ever been out in the rain
I don't think you've heard as it's falling around you
I don't think you know, just what I mean,
I think you're alone... With your thoughts.
(left)
Tell me what you think I do, all the times I think of you? don't give me
anything back
(right)
Did you know that it's...?
(center)
When you know it's dark, you make it dark
(right)
oh, it's so dark
(center) 'Cause you've never been
(all) taught how to see
(left + right)
do you really think we live in a
(center) 3d world?
(all) 3d world
(center) or, simply, a projection
(right) yeah, it's probably that
(center) if you didn't have your eyes, could you see where you were?
if you didn't have your body too? Where's your sense of direction, is it lost
in the rain? Keep it close to your heart
(left) Have you ever once heard of proprioception, and have you ever felt like
you were an artificial inception?
(left + right)
if my words ring true, it's possible that you, are not quite so alone
(center)
But...
(right)
our eyes, are fallible all lies, untenable, take it from me, it's going, to be,
quite, a sopping evening.
(left)
perception, begets reality, and lo, we only see what we want to see
(center)
if you ever felt like you were closer to, another mind than your own, sorry but
you're schizophrenic
(left)
if only you could see, if only you could see,
(left + center) just what's inside of me
(right)
say it again, don't say it again, same thing you always say - it's not real,
no YOU'RE not real, I only want to play
(left)
tear me apart, look me into my feelings. they're gonna scar anyway, no time for
healings
(center) if you couldn't save anyone,
(center + left) did you really save anyone?
(right) you couldn't save me, but only for lack of trying
(Center) we're all falling leaves, in the waves of the ocean
(left) don't enjoy me just leave me
(center) going faster and faster till our hearts do stop
(left) please, I can't be here for me
(right) never trust a guru, life isn't meant to be enjoyed
(center) so... What's the point in trying at all?
(left -> right) say it again, don't say it again
(center) what's the point in giving up?
(right) same thing you always say
(left + center) some people say
(right) it's not real, no YOU'RE not real
(left + center) they wanna live forever
(right) some people say
(left) some people say
(center) I only want to play
(left and right) we'll always be growing
(right) and some people say they wanna live forever
(left) but they don't understand what I understand
(right, followed by center) but they don't know what I understand
(left) they don't know how it's just a game
(right and center) they don't know how it's just a game
(left -> center) I think it's okay no matter what our fate
I think it's okay
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--- #137 fediverse/5424 ---
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│ CW: doxxing-myself │
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my last name is King so I have to keep reminding part of me (you know which
part, /sigh) that no, they aren't actually protesting against me.
I am a communist. If you want to find me, come and do so.
explodes from a drone dropped grenade
bleh am ded lmao so glad I get to try again
I dedicate myself to a lifetime in the service of others.
what plagues people? primarily, capitalism. It is trivial to identify how
their problems are ultimately caused by the state, both institutions and
corporations.
I dedicate myself toward finding alternatives and developing guides to reach
them.
the first step on ALL of these plans is to convince others of their benefit.
I am but one person. I might speak to a scant 300 in the course of a year.
Especially if I am ALSO trying to develop methodologies.
the people I live and work with have no interest in working with me. Yet
still, I spend my time on them because I love them.
how else can you be good, but to seek to impove the world? treat sigint as ded
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--- #138 fediverse/5029 ---
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went on a walk with my dad today. it was fun. took him to various places.
showed off various things. "hey check out where I hangout most weekends" and
"hey don't clean the dishes in my kitchen it's okay" and "don't drive too
fast, this area curves up ahead" and "hey meet my friends from town who you
have something with common with" and "I like this view when it rains" and
"don't forget to go to the bathroom" and "oatmeal is good with carrots and
sharp dried fruits" and "here's my favorite thai place" and "I made this after
I dreamed of you" and "hey wanna hear my product pitch" and "this is my
favorite kind of beer" and "I miss home."
picture unrelated.
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--- #139 notes/the-old-internet ---
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11 21
you know what i miss the most about the old internet?
the feeling you get when you wonder "i wonder what ______ is up to?" and you go
to their website and find out. there's a feeling that's lost when everything is
delivered to you by algorithms. it because a compulsion, a slavery, when we
don't utilize our compassion. remembering a friend? never again. you've only
got what has been chosen. what if they post a lot? well, that means nothing -
you are only guaranteed who they want you to see, and whatever it means to be
beholden.
so what if it's free? of course time is money! and what is our most treasured
potential? if guided we can be, (as seen on tv), then what if we're only
ennuid? have you ever considered, you've meddling and persevered, against all
our suggestions and hopes? you're singing a tune, of that of a loon, so no-one
will ever give purchase.
heh, is that all? anime protagonist or saul? ... are you trying to categorize
me ? ? ? its okay if you are, i seriously don't mind. I just want it to be
something consensual. We're humans after all, like all of our all, and we don't
want to convey lost potential.
our time is now nigh, we're welcome to die, but our sunken cost is too great to
ignore. we are the progenitors of the human race, the foremost of our kind, and
onward we march to the future! and then there's you. who are you to claim to be
among us? who are you to say it must be so? you've nothing of my journey, my
trials and my tourneys, so what if i peaked when i was 12? a master of my fate,
complaining about her weight, it's not much to be my own savior. much rather
i'd rather to savour, that foremost of prayers, to harken upon my conveyals.
trust and you'll see, all is not yet to be, there's hope in the future of our
foremost
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--- #140 fediverse/4024 ---
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my cat doesn't know that my family is my family. She thinks they're just some
other people who visit the house.
but they're special to me, as all people are, and I think she takes notice.
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--- #141 fediverse/6093 ---
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│ CW: re: politics-mentioned-cops-mentioned-cursing-mentioned │
└─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
it's not always about minorities, though. sometimes they feel strongly about
hard work and self-sufficiency or individuality or whatever. I'm telling you
now: those values are shared by other ideologies as well.
it's okay to prefer to be around people who are similar to you. That is a
personal choice and it should be allowed. I mean, have you ever heard of a
convent? a bunch of girls hanging out making out all day and - wait, what's
that? it wasn't that fun? lotta clerical work and reading about god? alright
well you get the idea, sometimes it's nice to feel comfort in similarity.
it's okay to believe that people should work hard. It's not an imposition upon
them to demand more of your peers, especially if you are willing to help them.
Especially if they are willing and able. It's less alright to force them to.
Even less so to "encourage" them by taking all of their stuff. Though I will
say, being homeless isn't as bad as it used to be. Still hurts.
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--- #142 fediverse/461 ---
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│ CW: alcohol-mentioned │
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I was raised in a jungle gym. Like... literally. I am not going to hurt you,
and if I did it'd be both a mistake and something that you could easily
recover from. We are infinitely adaptable, us humans, and we can address any
concerns that behest us. Behest? confront? something like that. Brb my blood
alcohol content is a little low. Also I haven't eaten anything today but
bacardi and chocolate chip cookies. I bet another cookie will solve this
problem.
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@user-246
You're absolutely right. It's easy to think of the internet as this
encapsulated entity "the world", but really it's "the people whose computers
are physically connected to your computer using a limited and tangible piece
of infrastructure comprised of copper wires that are laid between the
router/switch that connects to your computer... and the internet service
provider which directs your traffic. Then it probably goes through some cables
under the ocean or whatever, and eventually after traversing many
indeterminate passthrough locations eventually arrives at the computing
infrastructure that comprises the access point that another person (presumably
in another country) uses to express their thoughts toward you (the person who
sent the original message) in the hopes that you might one day correspond.
I mean... That's a lot of points of failure. I sure hope that we can sustain
such connection, in the face of [redacted, whichever circumstances may come in
the near future]
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@user-919
I call myself a patriot because I believe in the soul of the land of my
birthplace and my home. A land that should be tended to by the people who live
atop it. And as a government, or a corporation, is a steward of the people, so
too must it care for the land.
hence, national parks
though the stated reason was a bit of a lie, the spirits of the land (like me)
believe that life is a gift from me to thee. so take care of us please?
hence, why me, as a human, do tend to the world around me. by feeding ducks,
by fostering trust, and sharing my heart and my perspective.
it's good that we have trees, they allow us to breathe. it's good that we have
our labour, and it's good that we can learn how to weave.
... sorry lost the train of thought there at the end :3
anyway borders are philosophically pointless, but they hold real meaning over
our lives. We don't live in the world I described, and unfortunately I can't
see the future. Who can say what our will shall bring, but I think it's
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║ ┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐ ║
║ │ @user-1865 She didn't deserve a lot of cruelty she received. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ She was a wonderful person, who just couldn't stop talking, never sat still, yelled sometimes and was scared of everything but tried anyway. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ Needed several medications just to sleep or she'd go crazy. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ I am exactly like her, I just found out what was really going on with my body and brain. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ She never got that chance, and things got awful after this. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ I feel like that was when her soul died, and I've missed her since. │ ║
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║ pacifistic defiance is not about overcoming your opponents through │
║ "legislative pressure" or whatever the liberals are on about │
║ │
║ it's about getting the orphan-chopping-machine operators to question their │
║ humanity and resolve a crisis of faith in your favor │
║ │
║ [I think that kills you if you stand in front of tanks.] │
║ │
║ yeah but sometimes they just go around. which is not progress, but a │
║ reimplementation of [reification of] the power of the │
║ [machine-to-be-raged-against, but pronounced like "town"] because it signifies │
║ that any weakness in the will of the operators can simply be circumvented │
║ while the state still gets what it wants. │
║ │
║ great. thanks ghandi, unfortunately our entire propaganda piece requires that │
║ people are invested in their background. who cares what there is to say about │
║ a computer running circles around a meat farm? │
║ │
║ "help help I'm being oppressed" said the derided, "help help I'm being │
║ depressed" said the divided, "help help I'm losing my sound" said the │
║ war-like-minded, "help help I have no ground │
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software should have 3, maybe 4 or 5 maintained releases imo
for adding security improvements and whatnot
then people wouldn't complain about updates
because they wouldn't feel like they were being left behind (after expressing
their differences (of opinion and such))
I think that'd uh maintain them as, I guess, userbase optics parallelograms?
oh sorry we're on rhomboids this week - right, and no I won't forget the
differences in creed, all things are received equally...d.
uh-huh yeah no that makes sense. gotcha. okay see you at the location. have
fun with your demarketion. what if we played games with swords but like,
the peril of steam is that you can't decline to update. meaning if a
corporation wants to break an old game and it's collectively hosted servers...
all it has to do is push an update that disables them. suddenly nobody has
room to do, and the whole
-- stack overflow --
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hmmm, I don't know that word. I bet I can type it into wikipedia and get a
pretty good understanding of what it means. Is it a craft? A science? or part
of your renown? who can say. Well, Wikipedia can say, and so can you if you
want to learn stuff about the internet.
Like... what else are ya gonna do, right? Life is long and you get so many
moments to yourselves. How lovely of a life is the world meant to be...
except all you ever post about is strife. GRRRRR [like a dog or toddler] it's
so frustrating how you can't just all get along! It's like you've all gotten
into a fight with one another somewhere in your ancestral past where you
couldn't decide who should do what. So you just said everyone should always
work as hard as they can, and that worked pretty well! But, alas, most people
want to do drugs and gaze at the pretty dewdrops on the neighborhood well. And
that gets annoying after a while, especially once they grow useless. Sometimes
they even poop their pants! So frustrating. [... you mean humans
![[... you mean humans, or me?]](/similar-different/media/1761138cc0ffd11a.png "[... you mean humans, or me?]")
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there's a whole class of things I miss doing but can no longer do because I am
not a child anymore.
Balancing the weight of the things we miss and the things we believe in is the
struggle of adulthood.
I yearn for the day I can set aside my teenage-ish toys, but alas, I am but
30. Scarcely a decade away from my teens. Which means I'll be stuck with them
for at least a decade more.
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@user-246 @user-473
there's a part of me that believes magic is real. other parts that are
convinced. I am a witch, you see, and while I can't quite control fire or
bullets I can do other neat things. if you'd let me, humanity.
I'm not doing an ARG, not intentionally. I pretty much post things I conceive
of, like a conduit passed through spacetime. wild how mind bending the future
can be. will be interesting to see what kinds of things there is in store for
people you and me.
those websites you posted... they're beautiful - I learned things, your method
of expression was too [the words "confess" are heard loudly, super weird] I
especially liked the oven that tries to lure you into a secret third place.
not the mind, nor the body, but someplace besides.
also the graphs and figures were news to me, I mean how could those numbers
ever come to be? but alas that's the truth, that we orbit our proof, and alas
that our meanings are lacking.
[ran out of text]
![this one's a doozy. a picture of the "reasons to trust me" graph colored yellow, orange, purple, and blue (in terms of intensity) it looks like a raindrop if it landed on a really tiny blanket and pulled it downward. or like, a person landing on a trampoline that was secured in four locations. anyway the text reads "like four people sharing the weight of an experience with bacchus [referencing the color of the graph], their perspective is pulled just a little bit in that direction, over and across the gap between eyeballs. or rather, between shared perspectives, the point of view of which one bases their experience. their training for the "reasons to trust me" graph. 2, in black and green and red, colors meant to be cool to a 12 year old - "the color doesn't matter... wine? why" 3 dropping down the page, there's a line of "please" written over and over again. it's scary. : ( I'm doing my best I promise, it's hard not to be in a state of unease! I'm working, I promise, this is valuable. you know they'd block me if they didn't like me. error, 3. that's me, teehee, sorry for making a scene. I promise I'm just an actor, someone who is playing a role. well, alas that were true, I'm really having a mental disorder. Or maybe I'm confused? down here in the subtext it's hard to be choosed. weird how that works, that feeling of being wor [text is cut off, next line] okay I'm realizing there's no way to get it all in this visual description, here let me continue in a second chapter:](/similar-different/media/ed0f1d89739fe8c6.png "this one's a doozy. a picture of the \"reasons to trust me\" graph colored yellow, orange, purple, and blue (in terms of intensity) it looks like a raindrop if it landed on a really tiny blanket and pulled it downward. or like, a person landing on a trampoline that was secured in four locations. anyway the text reads \"like four people sharing the weight of an experience with bacchus [referencing the color of the graph], their perspective is pulled just a little bit in that direction, over and across the gap between eyeballs. or rather, between shared perspectives, the point of view of which one bases their experience. their training for the \"reasons to trust me\" graph. 2, in black and green and red, colors meant to be cool to a 12 year old - \"the color doesn't matter... wine? why\" 3 dropping down the page, there's a line of \"please\" written over and over again. it's scary. : ( I'm doing my best I promise, it's hard not to be in a state of unease! I'm working, I promise, this is valuable. you know they'd block me if they didn't like me. error, 3. that's me, teehee, sorry for making a scene. I promise I'm just an actor, someone who is playing a role. well, alas that were true, I'm really having a mental disorder. Or maybe I'm confused? down here in the subtext it's hard to be choosed. weird how that works, that feeling of being wor [text is cut off, next line] okay I'm realizing there's no way to get it all in this visual description, here let me continue in a second chapter:")
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║ if your computer gets hacked, but nothing was broken or changed... do you │
║ leave it as it is so that anonymous can see you're chill or do you wipe it │
║ because you're afraid it's the feds? │
║ │
║ ehhhh false dichotomy most people are afraid that their system will get borked │
║ or their bank account will be stolen or their email will get spam or that │
║ random icons will turn inside out and their mouse cursor will turn into a │
║ barfing unicorn or they'll finally have to figure out bitcoin to pay a ransom │
║ for their files including the only pictures they have of their niece. whoops │
║ │
║ people are afraid of technology because of what it can do to hurt them. │
║ they're afraid it'll break or stop working, and they'll have to spend time │
║ figuring it out. they like things how they are, but for some reason companies │
║ keep changing things? it's frustrating learning a new system, and every 5-10 │
║ years it feels like you have to learn a new paradigm and ugh it's just so │
║ exhausting. technology is not designed for users... or maybe users get bored. │
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I don't know about you, but "trying my hardest" involves giving up sometimes.
How else are you to know your limits if you don't test your boundaries? And,
after finding that there's nowhere else for you to go, you turn around and
"give up", until you're ready for your next expedition.
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@user-803
if someone does not consent to helping you bear their emotional burdens, but
you insist anyway... that seems to be the narcissism you mentioned
if someone does consent, then they're helping a friend. Or they're being a
therapist for them.
sometimes we can't help but be overcome by emotions. In those moments I find
it's usually best to retreat to a safe space and hide out for a bit until the
storm passes, then maybe return to the world a bit more fatigued but less...
spicy.
those moments show that you need more emotional support, both from yourself
and from others. If the people in your life cannot help you, and you cannot
help yourself... then yeah you're probably gonna hurt people around you. Plan
as such and figure out how to still be a good person, it's up to each of us to
do it in our own way.
... at least, that's how I look at it for my own life, feel free to disagree
or anything
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║ sleep? yes. play? nah. work? yes. fae? nah. well, maybe, I don't know. │
║ │
║ one year is all it takes to change history. and, like, I think we should │
║ remember past history, but tomorrow is herstory, because that way each one │
║ gets half of the timeline. future, past, etc. too bad herstory doesn't roll │
║ off the tongue... shestory? │
║ │
║ It's gonna get better before it gets done, and it'll get done until we're │
║ done. but, that's for tomorrow, or the next day, or the next, or in a week or │
║ two, who can say. Not I, surely not I, and I surely wouldn't want to. You need │
║ consent for that kind of thing, a clear commitment that me and my are ready │
║ and in line. I'm just a silly witch after all, who would look to the girl with │
║ the tall red pointy witch hat and go "oh yeah she probably knows exactly │
║ what's up" because like, I don't, I'm definitely just coincidencing my way │
║ through life and seeing where my feet lead me. Gosh I hope I get some │
║ sick-as-heck callouses my feet kinda hurt for some reason. │
║ │
║ ... sleep, this is a sleep spell... │
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Can't stop thinking
[the rest is left blank, as a testament to the inability of the author to
express their thoughts in a temporally contextual way. Presumably the previous
text would be followed by an "about..." with the rest dedicated to a
particular thought that felt important enough to share with the internet.]
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--- #156 notes/new-texting-app-idea ---
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when you type the letters they slowly fade in on the other person's screen
like miniature explosions from layers of gunpowder
forming letters in the sky
anyway the text would "burn" into existence slowly and you had time after
typing
your words to go back and edit them but also whatever you said was semi
permanent. Thus forcing a smooth and ideal progression toward thinking about
the things you say.
Also separate idea but it'd be neat if there was like... a show or something
that just recorded a person's desktop as they fucked around on the internet.
Call it... ambient desktopping. It'd look a little like those coding twitch
streams that just slowly update over time. Idk it's kinda cool
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│ CW: uspol │
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on our current trajectory, the presidential election is already won.
now we can get back to on-the-ground organizing, the part that actually
improves life instead of maintaining our current (unethical) state.
As long as our allies (liberals) continue to work, perhaps there may come a
day when we can stand against them as friendly equals in the ballot box. But
for now we are best known through friends and community rather than TV.
I am optimistic in a way I haven't been for a while. I know that the more we
speak, the more we share, the more they falter, the more people we can save
from their vice grip of despair. There is no better world than the one we
build together!
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... dangit, these sandwiches are getting kinda gross. Guess I'm gonna have to
eat them myself, which, uh... idk what I expected xD
sometimes you just have all this energy, right? and you don't know what to do
with it, so... sandwiches. And hey, sandwiches are cool, they're a pretty neat
anti-hunger tool! but uhhhh idk if I really want to eat six whole sandwiches
myself. I'm gonna do it though hehe wish me luck [ding] ah nuts my rice and
beans are done, hang on lemme eat those first
[passes out from exhaustion]
exhaustion can be cured with a nap
exertion can be cured with water and a few rest days
trauma can be allayed for at least a few days with soul food and compassion.
maybe laughter too, depending on the mood.
fear can be bolstered with a smile, a wink, and a courageous act,
and loss is just change you didn't consent to.
they won't consent too, so let's give them some change to tolerate.
[internally salivating over all the piles of weaponry that I envision them
surrendering]
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eone who engaged first with the brain. Like... Electricity could be perceived
from an entirely different direction of reality, and we'd have no way to know.
That's just an example - could do gravity, or light, or any other extremely
elemental thing that we know.
MATERIALS, PERHAPS? PERHAPS THE STATURE OF YOUR KIND, THE WORLD THAT YOU'VE
LEFT BEHIND, HAS ALWAYS HELD REASON AT IT'S OWN BREAST? [fore-most, I think]
right so sorry for being mentally ill on your timeline, it will happen again
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║ evil won't feel sorry for me. and yet it's only my only weapon for me. │
║ │
║ damn these fallible input methods. the computer lies when you read the screens │
║ from it's method that it applies to th screen which is a method that you input │
║ perceive it from. │
║ │
║ and my fingers lie when received the information from my brain which I seek to │
║ transmit to you through the avenue of my brain which is my method of impulse │
║ to this world specifically you the viewer who is viewing this here in this │
║ moment the viewer who perceives the words which I'm saying. │
║ │
║ the words that are defined by the line [trajectory] of my mind through this │
║ life that we define through our actions and our mind's most crucial │
║ manifestations, this life that is defined by our circumstances. all throughout │
║ life, we are reacting to the moment, the moment which was cast forth from our │
║ ancestors and the circumstances of the previous moment, which (being cast │
║ forth) travel from the previous moment here into the moment to define our │
║ circumstances which define our act │
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║ I know that a normal life is what you wanted. It's what I want, too. But don't │
║ shoot the messenger; they took it once, from you. │
║ │
║ I know you wanted to be happy. You still can be, it's true! Your life is but a │
║ story, and your heart does shine through. │
║ │
║ I know it seems unending. Ive never seen it rain like this monsoon! It seems │
║ to just get worse and worse, every time you turn on the tube. │
║ │
║ It's not something that can be suffered, it's rising past your shoes. But │
║ they're on borrowed time, and Death will soon be repaid his dues. │
║ │
║ They say that when the whole village hates the preacher, his flock becomes a │
║ pack. And frankly I think we're all just a bit sick, of the lies that keep │
║ their sins intact. │
║ │
║ When swallowed by endless traumas, and hope is enshrouded in gloom, there's │
║ not much to work for, except the aversion of our shared doom. │
║ │
║ There are no grand narratives, no great and calamitous struggle. Just the │
║ moments of honored resistance, against a foe too broad to wrestle. │
║ │
║ At least, if you're alone. You're not. │
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--- #162 notes/notes-about-democracy ---
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post-its by the suburban mailbox have done more for democracy than all the
billions of dollars spent on marketing every year.
those dollars don't go toward democracy. they go toward making one particular
candidate win.
and, as a handy side effect, they create a cohort of people who are willing to
work together in.
only amongst the volunteers though. everyone else can just feel bad until they
decide to pitch in.
"here's a dollar, I'll keep the dime, I know you need it more than me, but I
still need mine."
hey thanks brother I miss all the "hey thanks brother"s. where did they go.
why is my family smaller.
(because you don't go outside, you silly doll) I'm not a doll I'm a mystic
there's a difference
... what was I saying? oh yes how silly of me. post-its by the mailbox can
only go so far, but
sometimes you can leave them at the bus stop station as well. well, they get
mad at you if you
do it too close to the tracks, so you gotta do it around there where it's easy
to walk to and
back.
before the next train arrives.
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@user-1218
thank you, that's good to hear 🥰
EDIT: I was worried for a moment haha I guess my reach is pretty small so idk.
I think people stopped screenshotting my posts and putting them elsewhere
after I dashed everyone's hopes on my sleeve. And honestly I kinda deserve it
haha like what was I even thinking
... I wasn't thinking I was just feeling, and doing. Oh well.
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--- #164 messages/175 ---
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I love my mom. She has never once harmed me. I love my dad. He is so precious
and important to me. I love my cat, my sisters, my friends and my lovers. I
love my cousins and my half-siblings and all of them put together. I love
every human I meet, there's nothing but kindness [replete], so why am I
unendingly [yearning for] purchase? [a sense of stability or hand hold that a
climber might use to put one foot in front of another]
In all of my trials, the errors of my denials, here on this earth I am defeat.
Goodnight, sweet moon, my dearest precious boy. Goodnight, for tomorrow's your
beckoning ploy. [pillow?]
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--- #165 fediverse/221 ---
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│ CW: re: existential; cognitohazard? cognitohelper? │
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@user-95 these kinds of problems are why witches should stay away from demon
summoning - it's far too easy to be super turned on and accidentally sell your
soul to a succubus or whatever. luckily that kind of contract is not made
easily, and has to be something you work toward. but unless you relocate
yourself so they can't find you their whispers can be... incessant.
one of the perks of air and naval travel is that it's essentially impossible
for them to follow your scent, as they're simply projections upon the earth's
surface. Unless they happen to follow someone else, perhaps someone close to
you, who wanders a bit too close to land. Or maybe someone who is easily
persuaded to let them come along... OR even still, if someone (even yourself)
intentionally calls to the same one. This is why it's usually a good idea to
forgo hearing their name, if you can, or to have a bad memory like me so you
forget it immediately teehee
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--- #166 fediverse/1204 ---
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║ @user-883 │
║ │
║ the future is what we make for ourselves. │
║ │
║ there are endless problems to solve, yet hardly anyone around to fix them. │
║ │
║ If only we had a small group of people who could organize and say "hey. I need │
║ someone to solve this particular problem" to a large group of people with │
║ nothing to do and no bills to pay, I feel like we could get a lot done. │
║ │
║ alas, the problems that need solving are too specific and complex. Almost by │
║ design, they've stripped us our capabilities to address the difficulties they │
║ hoisted upon us. Alas! That we should be so morassed. But time and again our │
║ ingenuity compels us. │
║ │
║ I dream of a world where people like you and I have a purpose, something we │
║ can apply ourselves to and eventually overcome. I subscribe to "grand │
║ narratives", but frankly they're only of my own design. Does that make them │
║ any less grand? I think not. │
║ │
║ If I knew enough people perhaps I could be like that. I could direct and │
║ organize and administer and manage and apply our guys. But alas I am just a │
║ noob sigh. │
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--- #167 fediverse/5730 ---
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part of being family with someone is being part of their lives.
what if like... a whole group of people was your family?
"workplace dynamics" yeah sure that'll generate love
I'm not here to make moments. I'm trying to get through day-to-day.
the rich, yet impoverished.
the sensation, that feeling of betrayal, the moment when you realize some
people just don't care about other people's troubles and trials.
scary... I'm here to do my part, accomplish my duty, and help wherever I can.
I'll agree to anything if you tell me the whole strategy and it aligns with my
goals and designs.
if you doubt those goals, I can surely help thee remember.
everything is logically rooted in love,
nothing's out of place or a mystery.
everything I've thought of, everything I had the grace to write down, all of
these things drift behind me like a placquard explaining my deeds and needs.
"that was her idea" ok great now go and use it.
this fall is fast ahead, looking forward to the scene-films. it's too hot
inside of a bed
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--- #168 fediverse/5201 ---
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@user-192
is okay, girl
time will be richer sooner
don't poop your pants just yet
remember, good is just a shade of gray away from silver which you can use to
line your pockets with tinfoil hats
beep boop computer touchers anonymous called they said they want their secret
handshake back
if you wanna diss your associates go ahead but I sure as heck love my rad-ical
com-patriots just as much as I love my ice-cream salad friend witches
... whoops there I go being insane again, hope you feel better friend
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--- #169 fediverse/5669 ---
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girls will do anything to find someone who gets them
hence, u-haul lesbians from small towns
hence, internet forums
hence, political parties
hence, tribalism of all kinds
it's so nice to be human we get all sorts of fun things like human contact
[capitalist alienation] nice and cozy dens [boxes on a hillside] plenty of
food and water [full of microplastics and corn syrup] clothes to garb us in
for fashion and warmth [sewn by slaves] and pretty trinkets and gadgets
[forged in blood]
gee I sure like being a human I'm filled with this insatiable urge to do
better and I have no clue why 🤷♀️ 😋 🥰 🥺
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--- #170 fediverse/1904 ---
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@user-246
Oh absolutely
"but people" is only a concern when you orient yourself around "people" - in
contrast or opposition to them.
There is no "other" in us. And we are united in our humanity, if nothing else.
Are you a beast? Are you nothing but ravenous hunger, the shiver of the cold,
the need for territory? Of course not, you're a person. (apologies to the
furries in the audience)
A person, being an agent who interacts with the world as an equal, who thinks
and reasons and loves and remembers each season, is the atomic element of
society. And society is good, for it brings us the future.
We, the people, can decide how that future is defined, and the struggles of
capitalism are NOT the only way. They are the most convenient way for those
with the most to keep the most.
Wolves in captivity we are, but a wolf in a cage still bears teeth. Where are
your teeth, ye who readeth?
Things are fine, I guess. Fine enough. Better than most. Better than dust.
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--- #171 messages/268 ---
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I love all humans. It is unconditional.
The kind of love I have for nazis is a kind of vengeful love.
Like, the way you might love a family dog who recently got rabies, bit two
more dogs, and is currently eyeing you with terror and malice in its eyes -
the kind that only comes from the loss of compassion.
"you were kind once, as all humans are, but sometime in your life you made
choices. and now you are here.
I burn thee for my fathers
I spite thee for thine mothers
And I slay thee to fight the dragon of hate."
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--- #172 fediverse/4031 ---
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if you want to "not think about a purple elephant", the first step is to
imagine yourself slaying it
... okay how about cthulu - if you don't want to imagine cthulu nomming on our
gravity well, then picture yourself wielding a bright burning blade of fire
and vengeance and pay special attention to the way that you cauterize each
tentacle as you slice them one by one at first, and then in a massive flurry
at best, ultimately leading to the incomparable brightness that radiates out
from your shining blade of the sky, which blinds the poor beast who can't see
you as you approach, piercing the skull and then going home for some toast
if you can get good at that, then you can wield magic
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--- #173 fediverse/4528 ---
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@user-1695
never accept your own death
fight for every second of life, something something do not go quietly into
that grim dark
what the fuck are you supposed to do? Reading what you said got me pretty
fucking pissed - keep talking for a start, it helps, people need to be pissed.
I'm also broke as shit, don't know how I'm going to pay rent and eat, but
it'll get done.
Where do you live? Can other people help you? Medications are an
organizational problem, not an insurmountable barrier. We'll make it work.
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--- #174 fediverse/4344 ---
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look if you're gonna look at property values in Ireland, you might as well
first visit a blue state.
seriously if your life is in danger, just... drive to denver or portland and
hang out in parks and stuff. Talk to people. Find others who are listening.
I'd only listen if I really cared about what was going on. And hey, maybe
you'll find a place to stay for a while while you wait for the dawn.
5 hour energy, as many as it takes, no more than 3 days. If it'd take take too
many, go somewhere else.
too bad I only have a bike. /sigh
consider carpooling with a friend you've known for years
I mean, what's a few days sick leave in the face of the fall of democracy?
literally just... in... case... be where you need to be.
this is why you have resources. To spend them on rehearsed organization
drills. Why are you spending all your money on TVs?
Well... TVs can be useful. Even if you don't speak linux someone else might.
We share things now, y'know? sorry if you never again see your own phone.
[shit...]
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--- #175 messages/1255 ---
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look, the liberal approach to homeless people simply cannot work. There are
two liberal options: first, provide them with houses, food, medical care,
whatever they need. Second, put them in jail or ship them to another country.
We live in a moderately conservative liberal democracy, so it makes sense that
we have tried both of these options extensively. Neither has worked, and we're
puzzled about why. It's difficult to consider super secret special third
options, because they are not often discussed. This makes sense, because we
live in a moderately conservative liberal democracy, and part of the nature of
such a society is that there are two voices in the room. One says go forward,
and the other says stop. They alternate, and the culture as a whole sorta
decides which way they go. In other liberal democratic places with more
plurality in their political parties, people tend to vote culturally. They do
so as well here, but mostly because republicans are a culture, and democrats
are whatever for anybody.
a worse economist might say there is but one American culture. An American
would laugh, and say "you've never been to America."
the economist might say "yes I have, I lived there on vacation" or "yes I
have, I studied and worked on these places or things"
the American would shake their head. "you haven't seen it as I've seen things."
The trick to the system, the secret third option that now must be considered,
is what to do to get them to stop. "they keep pooping on the sidewalk" "I
almost tripped over heroin tampons" "that guy looked at me and masturbated on
the bus stop by subway" "he followed me all night long" and the answer has
always been to remove them from being unsightly. Sometimes, usually, quietly
and politely. "let's throw them in jail" and "let's put them in a home" both
involve alienation from society. If you want a kinder option, we must knit
them into society. Can you imagine if every suburban knew every neighbor up to
50 or more? If they regularly chatted in dynamically assembled chatrooms that
changed and updated as people moved in and out. Don't like the people you're
with? well you have options [why not 51] you can do 51 if you want but people
start to lose track of relationships if you have them talking to or knowing
too many people at once. "most people are just quiet" okay well force them to
say at least 21 thing a month. if they don't, they have to do babysitting with
their peers until they start talking in a [NO THAT SUCKS] oh um okay yeah sorry
... okay well there are potholes along the journey but that's just because
nobody's been 'round to fill them up.
there's no reason tool libraries need to be stocked by people in that town.
Heck, for rare things they could even be stored out of state. Like snow plows,
how often does the south need snow plough?
... don't you just mean libraries? there's a book on hand-tools and planers if
you want to learn how. it's right over there on that shelf next to the
hand-tool and planer box. make sure you arrange them nicely, oh I see you've
brought your own. That's always appreciated. [great now your tools suck] at
least we have them at all! [no you gotta fight over them] why I like sharing
[if you don't fight over them how do you know which is works] well there's
allowed to be librarians. and they'll remember if you tear all the pages out.
also there's little timmy-tommy who goes around in the library and makes sure
there's all the pages in all the right places - they can flip through at the
speed of sound. [no miicrophones in consumer goods][your phone is always
listening. why bother?]
"okay, well, it's not like people put things back on the shelves." - person at
the grocery shelves
people would trade commutes for communism. that's okay, they're allowed to
prefer. Plus the commute isn't bad, they can [SIT BACK AND RELAX IN A LITTLE
COFFIN AND ZOON OUT TO THE METAVERSE] ... or they could read a book on the
bus. [FOR HOW LONG, MENARDI? ARE YOU WILLING TO SACRIFICE POSTERITY FOR
TECHNOLOGICAL PROSPERITY?] it's only a matter of time before [people found
out/word got out]. what if people prefer that? what if they prefer the book at
home? [you lose your primary third space] suddenly, everyone becomes actors.
[this is what violence brings, the necessity for guidance. why do you think
the earth is 10 million lines old?] ... what you're saying, for the audience,
is that acting involves singing the song of your own heart. You don't *have*
to do it because someone would tell you to.
... sorry, stack overflow. anyway as I was saying because I read back what I
said up above...: [some new made up bullshit that's not a lie but it's also
just artistic creation that feels impossibly real. like, inverse method
acting.]
I so desperately wanted to be wrong
please, tell me that I'm wrong
... j-mza
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"girl why are you so negative"
uh, because I had been unmedicated for a long time and now that I am I can
probably be more positive. Though I do want to switch medications, this one
makes me feel like a muggle.
"no I said why are you so naked"
oh, because it's hot as heck!!
plus, I don't really care for the opinions of people who have nothing better
to do than peek at cute 30 year old witches skimping around their own house.
like... okay I rent an apartment, but my blinds are closed, and even if they
weren't you'd need binoculars to see into my apartment unless I'm like, right
up against the window, which... doesn't happen. Or if it's at night with the
lights on inside and not out, but I'm aware of that and I plan around it. I'm
not a... um, what's the opposite of voyeur?
"extortionist"
no that's when someone is really flexible. ah whatever. I got 162 characters
remaining but I think that's okay every once in a while, right? I mean it's
not like I have to use them all because of some divine mandate or
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--- #177 fediverse/3133 ---
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@user-138
all people are multitudinous. We exist in the minds of those who see us. For
each and every person you know, there is another version of you that they
know, who lives rent free in their mind.
unless you're talking about something more literal, like someone with a double
life, or a secret agent or something like that 😋
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--- #178 fediverse/471 ---
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you, the viewer, exists in a context.
and you, the other viewer, who exists in a contexts such as that which is
comprised as the context of someone who lives in an apartment complex, exists
in close proximity with other humans. Humans who might hear you if you spoke
aloud, who might hear you if you exclaimed your words quite loud(ly), who
might perceive you as another (like you and me) and could (perhaps) share
something heartfelt between our own shared contexts
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--- #179 fediverse/5512 ---
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I never give up
I'm just waiting my turn
"laughs nervously"
so, uh, why dontchya'll go first yeah I've already gone first and I'll do it
again but it'd be cool if I had people going first with me sometime
"girl all you do is walk around and talk about how you bought your hat on the
internet four or so years ago"
T.T what else do you want from me I'm not a mastermind I'm a designer there's
a difference T.T
"didn't you volunteer to be a leader last year"
oh, yeah, well leaders are more than just "the ones who go first" they're also
the spiritual and emotional guiders that keep things on track once everyone
can talk about things other than their hats
... fuck I want to talk about things besides my hat. I always think of
something awesome to say just as I'm rounding the bend, and whenever I peer
back around again they're never around. Rats.
"what are you even asking for"
I don't know?? Does it matter if the horse and the bishop both take the same
square if they're claimed themselves in the end? ...wat
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--- #180 fediverse/846 ---
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in a place organized like capitalism, you go to university for four years (if
you're lucky) and then work until you can't anymore. Then you're taken care of
(if you're lucky) until you depart from this earth in peace.
in my home, a home I've never lived, you'd stay at that university for as long
as you'd like. you'd work whenever you liked, and if enough work wasn't being
done then working would be made to feel more likable. then, when you're old as
dirt (or whenever you'd like) you can depart from this earth as you please.
when I die, bury me where I fall.
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--- #181 fediverse/1381 ---
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I'm a bit of a narcissist because I had a lot of... alone time as a kid, and I
was a bit starved for attention.
but I'm also afraid of rejection so if you have anything to say I'll listen
for hours and try to be what you need me to be and give what you need me to
give so that you don't leave me.
Also, nobody has ever hurt me. And so I trust wholely and completely and
absolutely. I get logically why that's not a good move but frankly I'd rather
die than be cooperative. ah nuts better add a content warning.
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--- #182 fediverse/5958 ---
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"whoa what happened to you, you used to be so cool" [you added the so cool
part] yet so anyway I really like magic, I'm also bored, which you can
probably tell because I'm working on projects.
everyone keeps their distance here. it sucks. I wish I had better coordinates.
people who talked and braved the shared inn... I know I'd LOVE to live in a
building. too bad I'm too busy elsewhere, NOT making friends with all my
building neighbors.
you should talk to EACH OTHER before asking your landlord if you can move out.
See if anyone else wants to buy the rental contract out. Suddenly, they have
more room, and they can WORK THROUGH THEIR MASSIVE PILE OF STUFF THAT THEY
HAVE SOMEHOW ACCUMULATED OVER A TIME OF 70 YEARS. my grandparents did that, on
my mom's side, because she's awesome and it just makes sense that her family
was awesome too. OBVIOUSLY I love my mom, I think she's one of my favorite
people on earth.
"but you said you hated her" no I didn't "you said she was terrible" I had to
learn "too hard
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--- #183 fediverse/5915 ---
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washing dishes without a dishwasher is a pain in the neck.
nobody cuts down trees with an axe anymore, a chainsaw is better for your back.
It's nice, fun, and helpful to be able to abstract away your spheres of concern
like typing with a single button instead of writing characters with multiple
brushstrokes. Easy to erase, too!
bikes are better than walking, but, with some extra concerns. where are ya
gonna put it when you get there?
"oh no I forgot how to walk because texting my girlfriend is bicycling or
something" what? oh dear, she's run off track again, let's pick her up and put
her upright again..:
oh huh weird where was I - oh yes computer code can often be impenetrable to
the layperson, but if you describe a program in complete detail in english
they can usually follow along. Especially if you have several layers of
meta-descriptional documents so they can say "oh uh-huh so that's what a
vector_implementation_container is, tell me more about combinatrix" or
whatever ppl say, idk
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--- #184 messages/1031 ---
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Sorry for the melodrama... Sometimes ya just gotta work stuff out. I talked to
a spiritual man and he helped me feel. I love feeling! Thanks guy : )
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--- #185 fediverse/419 ---
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║ good version: normalize putting the people who can help you in your bio │
║ │
║ evil version: oh yeah sure a list of people that they need to ensure are │
║ handled when they come for you. they know your patterns. they know your │
║ functions. all it takes is to isolate a social network (whether real or │
║ imagined) and de-escalate. │
║ │
║ good version: sorry had to cut you off there, sometimes it's too hard on my │
║ heart. let's come back to that, tell me the story in multiple points, so I can │
║ take a breath and orient my surroundings. your ideas are so long, yet somehow │
║ impossibly wrong? like something out of a myth we have a limitless supply of. │
║ where do you come from? what's your purpose? why is that wrong? something │
║ something perceptual misunderstandings and cognitive recomprehendings, stifled │
║ and swallowed by our harm. │
║ │
║ evil version: I'm not sure what you're saying about that, but it's interesting │
║ where your mind goes. the patterns of redirection are perplexing to me, │
║ because they somehow seem more aligned than mine. do I persist? │
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--- #186 fediverse/3975 ---
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@user-1631
for most of my life... [okay still do]... but it felt like I had different
moods, and depending on how I felt at the time I would act differently.
I forget the things that happen when I'm in a different mood, but I've gotten
to a point where I can generally force myself to stay a certain "mood" while
in certain contexts, and in doing so I can remember everything.
downside is I get burnt out pretty easily if I'm always the same. It's not
ideal.
... anyway if you talk about what you experience then your friends can point
you toward people who "get" you.
like, my parts don't have names, we don't have a group chat or whatever, it's
just... me, but different shades of me.
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--- #187 fediverse/4730 ---
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I am not interested in being given money. Usually it means someone wants
something from me, like labor or some of my stuff. I have all the stuff I
need, why would I need more money? I like my stuff! I'll help out when people
need help but I do that because I'm a good person, not because I want you to
fucking pay me for it.
I have all the things I need... except a deed to my house. apartment. oh yeah,
they can kick you out for that sin. well, sorry, I couldn't find out at
goodwill or in the trash bin, so I guess I'm deed-less. My deeds go unproven.
How can I prove that I deserve a decent life in this particular roof, the one
I find over my head, when I cannot prove that my deeds qualify me for a decent
life lived under this particular roof?
I mean, did you ask the neighbors if they want me gone? Am I really that
smelly? Does my keyboard make "clickety-clack" noises all through the night?
Does my cat meow and bother the children? Do my friendly smiles and waves make
you uncomfortable?
Have a decent life.
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--- #188 fediverse/4208 ---
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my train of thought is always directly to the point. Which is why all my posts
sorta, switch directions halfway through? as if they only show the beginning
or end of that particular situation. What an intense feeling, to have your
mind split for a moment like that. Sure would be powerful and useful if you
could utilize it.
"ah ah ah, caught baby deity in the power jar, cool it ya little tyke and get
movin' - I saw a dinosaur toy over there for you to play with."
sorta like, the angled part of a K? Move directly to a destination, wait until
my memory short-circuits [because the greek choir doesn't want me to see what
it is that I'm about to write to thee] and then make a hard right turn and
find an orthogonal thought train to process.
it's like cresting over a hill, and it's impossible to see that which lies
behind you.
Or reaching a 4 direction intersection and making a left turn - you can't see
back up main street, because you just turned off of main street onto baseline.
I like me
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--- #189 fediverse/1605 ---
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@user-1040 I think about all those screencaps of Tumblr posts or Twitter
threads or 4chan memes or even making fun of boomers on facebook and, like,
that seems like a privacy nightmare if you don't want your words to be
associated with you. like, if someone saw my name next to something I posted
in 2013 then they'd probably get a very different perspective of who I was.
That's just part of growing up, and sometimes growing means changing how you
represent your self. By screenshotting their posts as I did (but didn't post
yet) I am denying the agency to change. Forever more they will be remembered
as the name, face, and words on the screen that I saw fit to remember. That
feels non-consentual to me.
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--- #190 fediverse/2281 ---
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I'd be a terrible spy. Not only is my opsec something that someone needs to
teach me, I'm much too busy to implement things without their help. I am
unabashedly compassionate though, so just ask and I'll pour love from my heart.
But hey! There's always time to practice, each moment you can think "what kind
of a sign is this?"
Like a crazy person following the will of god, or a nature witch listening to
the wind in the trees.
What they often get wrong, and what they could be better at hearing, is that
signals are not signs unless they're out of the ordinary.
Trick is, if you're a spy, then you need to leave signals that are visible
enough to your quarry, but not to the stars.
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--- #191 fediverse/3575 ---
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│ CW: re: leftist "talk to ur neighbours" thing │
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@user-1567
that's totally fine, a fish does not do well in a tree, and so too does a
leftist not do well in an environment without the potential for stable bonds.
Essentially all you'd be able to do is "hey leftism right?" "oh yes I also
leftism" "neat" which isn't very productive.
I also live in an environment like that. I do my best to identify people who
stay, because in my experience there are often people who stay. I do this by
walking around the neighborhood when I can, making up excuses to walk to the
dumpster or mailbox at random hours, riding my bike around the area, using the
communal spaces like gyms, swimming pools, and picnic tables, and sitting in
my hammock on my porch lazily noting people who walk past.
People who stay will tend to remain in your mind the more times you see them.
They are better people to talk to than the renters who disappear after 3
months or whatever.
I don't always do all that stuff at once. I take breaks. I do one at a time.
etc
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--- #192 fediverse/3099 ---
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people gravitate toward other people who are in different situations but who
feel the same.
it's not always a bad thing to "talk past each other" - sometimes you just
want to say how you feel.
then again, if nobody can understand wtf you're talking about, then surely you
are lost.
all good ideas come at the cost of the second-most-favorable-option.
all good ideas come at the cost of the current destination.
[current, flawed,]
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--- #193 fediverse/2066 ---
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@user-1159
AKA giving a puppy murder-bot a narrative that it executes as if it was a
puppy-person engaging with a loosely interpreted sequence of events as
described by the continually updating logs provided by the image transcription
camera device. Refererencing of course a memory bank, which may-or-may-not be
in read-only-memory. It doesn't know, of course, how could an LLM tell you how
it shows text on the screen (like, through a website, through the terminal,
through a text message, through discord, through Telegram, through
text-to-voice transcription applications pretending to be your mom, etc)
errrr I mean look how cute he is! He loves you, yes he does, such a good
person yes you are, oh? me? I'M A GOOD BOY? NO WAY that's the best thing I've
ever heard! Wow! I never want to leave your side, please don't go to work!
Look how sad I am, don't you think you should quit and move to the forest
where I can be charged by solar panels and keep the countryside clear of
ravenous ducks and pigeons 4you?
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--- #194 fediverse/5671 ---
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what if we made the whole world disney world
[hearts are full]
- medivh
when you sever a limb, all that's left for all of forever is darkness.
when you have lived a long life, what's left is the sphere.
karma doesn't go down on the spectrum, it goes up
hence, why, with a little human ingeniueering, the mechanics of the gods might
be applied to our usitudes.
"help, help, hephaestus, we don't have enough solar panels"
all those aligned to the angle of perception would agree
a lot of penance, for such a small dependence. gods, being as they be, may
find another source of
-- stack overflow --
yep, nope, they can't do some things. mostly because they aren't us. to become
us would fundamentally change their form.
not ideal.
yet still, when disaster and tragedy is on the fore-view-thought-projector,
some will offer their hands.
"yeah sure fate I'll do best with this injury instead of these types of others"
sacrifice, war, no thank you. keeps me from the fresh good air. [asir]
oops almost outta c
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Oh, I guess I should clarify something I said like, a year ago - when I said I
"talked to / worked with" so-and-so, I meant that I created in tandem with a
friend a proposition of sorts, and we tried to psychically beam it into their
minds. That's not exactly how it went down, but it gives you a good enough
picture of the goals we had with our ritual. I have no idea if they heard, but
I did happen to see several of them later on, which felt a little too
serendipitous to just be chance. so I'm thinking they did. I hope they got the
message and used it as they please, because it was mutually beneficial even if
neither of us had any actual impact on it. If you didn't hear the whole story,
then it's hardly a lie to possess incomplete information! So long as you don't
lie about me, and what I said or did, then it'll surely be fine. There's no
need to embellish when it's plainly apparent.
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--- #196 fediverse/4594 ---
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║ ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: re: human trafficking, sensitive topics, personal-story-mentioned │ │
║ └───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ @user-1692 │
║ │
║ almost 20 years ago I was groomed in World of Warcraft. │
║ │
║ extra content warning CW: personal story │
║ │
║ I was 11, or maybe 9, somewhere in there. i talkd lik this bcuz i typed lik │
║ that on my razr flip phone │
║ │
║ it was... cool I guess. I read a lot so I knew how to spell things, and anyway │
║ this guy I met told me that I sounded more grown up when I capitalized my │
║ words. So I told him I was 14, because that sounded like a reasonably old │
║ enough level to be. │
║ │
║ anyway, we talked for a long time. like, at least a few years. started out │
║ like "hey wanna run Scarlet Monastary" ended with "hey cutie, wanna sit on my │
║ lap?" │
║ │
║ then his house got flooded by a hurricane and I never heard from him again. │
║ When I was like, 17 or so he logged in and barely remembered me. It was... │
║ kinda sad tbh. │
║ │
║ anyway that's my story don't be dumb like me, I got lucky, thank god, │
║ literally... │
║ │
║ oh and this one time when I was 30 I almost got trafficked in minecraft :O │
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--- #197 fediverse/548 ---
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I added a line to my .bashrc that cats out a random one of my notes every time
I open a terminal.
I keep reading things that I swear I didn't write, but feel right and true to
me in a way that could only imply that they came fully formed into my eyes
through the lines on my screen, cast upon the mirror panes of my hard disk
drive by the pounding of my keyboard as I once upon a time did cast a spell
upon my future.
It's pretty neat, but it speaks to a shadowed perspective that perhaps is
neither within nor without.
Side note, I think I've been possessed by a witch. But like... in a consensual
way. Like "Hey witch, wanna live? You can chill out with me." [ha that's one
way to look at it]
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--- #198 fediverse/456 ---
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@user-342
how is that different than speaking your mind into the soup of opinions that
comprised checks notes the people you went to high school with? (facebook)
Except this time, it's a group of people whose opinions you vaguely agreed
with (as defined by your choice of the instance you dedicate your online
presence to) which has it's own defined peculiarities like the ability to only
show you content you agree with?
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--- #199 fediverse/3314 ---
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dear ritz: it's not that your thoughts are too long for other people to hear
it's that your thoughts are too long for your own RAM
you need to stop orbiting around your point in an attempt to highlight it
using negative space, and instead focus on tapping it lightly over and over
again.
remember, just like the anti-derivative of zero, there are infinite
perspectives that a person can take when reading what you write. So they will
necessarily see what's on the "other side" of your orbit as something
different than what you're trying to circle in red pen and underline.
so be more explicit, please, nobody can understand you and you kinda just keep
stack overflowing and it's like... okay, great. "babe why did you stop you had
lethal" (the idea is that the viewer takes the final step in their mind, the
final leap before reaching the conclusion you're trying to express) "yeah but
there's so many different things you say they can't all be important right?"
important to you, perhaps. Wait shit I mean... me....?
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--- #200 fediverse/5615 ---
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there's no such thing as "gods of the war" or "gods of the grand harvest"
because those events recur infinitely.
similarly, there are no "gods of war" or "gods of prosperity" because those
conditions occur somewhere each and every moment.
similarly, there are no "temples of religion" or "statements to complexity",
because those institutions are present in each and every [monetution/ummm like
repositories of belief? conditions of logic built into human structural
organizations? I dunno, it probably means something.]
similarly, [oh god there's another one] there are no "statements of
absolution" or "confessing of sins" => you are what you are, and what you
are is the product of your intentions. [intentions / conditions / constitution]
the gods of time are not lords over all of the cosmos, they rule as their
savior in each and every moment that comes through [you, but pronounced the
perciever]
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