=== ANCHOR POEM === ════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────── ┌──────────────────────┐ │ CW: death-mentioned │ └──────────────────────┘ somehow that came out wrong - I meant when you die, suddenly you stop growing and you are who you be. forever, alegacy. I'd rather be awake and alive, thank you very much. I think I'm worth more as such. Plus it's nice, to me? to be unafraid and free? if you'd feed a cat, you'd shelter a humon. oh, you want me to work like a rat. ah well I'll wander through this maze, with my head all in a daze, we'll see what I can still see tomorrow. ... I'd rather not be who I don't actively want to be, I think the more correct way of saying it. I mispronounced. I misspoke. Sorry it's just hard for me. my cats meowing at me. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────┘ === SIMILARITY RANKED === --- #1 fediverse/1360 --- ════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────── @user-950 @user-956 @user-957 I'm so sorry T.T @user-958 I walk in as straight a line as suburbia will allow and touch things about a foot or less off the ground - right at a cat's line of scent-vision. When a cat is searching for an old home, it spirals out searching for familiarity - if it should come across me, it'd be most likely to see what smells like me if I travel in a straight line. Thus maximizing the chance that she'd return to me, my home where I cherish her so. I'd love her with all my heart if she'd let me, but frankly most of the time I'm just alone. I miss you sweetie! Please don't ever leave me. I'll miss you when you're not here in my home! Such a good kitty, yes you are. ... at least, that's what I'd say, if I wasn't dead T.T ah oh well weapons are overrated ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────┘ --- #2 fediverse/3879 --- ══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────── @user-1614 yeah haha that's what happens when you spin too fast. Sorry for being loud, at least I tried my hardest. Too bad I fell on my own, too bad there wasn't anyone to catch me. That's my fault, it's solely my own, but whose fault is the mistake of the collective? Oy I'll fall on my ass as many times as it takes. I'm used to it. Plus, it wouldn't have worked, and what else am I supposed to do but speak of the moment? I feel different now. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────┘ --- #3 messages/147 --- ══════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────── maybe if I slept until the end of time, I'd do better on the way back. or maybe I'm perfect as I'm, but I'm not so sure about that. is it better to hold a sword? or to leave it all intact is it better to be called lord, or to be simply called jack. I love every creature, every child woman and man, and here, where I stand, I look out upon this land, and I see the world that I was born to. I bear no false affection for any - not even those who'd condemn me to death or misery. I trust relentlessly, and favor almost willingly. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────┘ --- #4 notes/i-am-a-stalk --- ════════─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────── I am a stalk, a small little plant A plant with no leaves, just hair. Time is different to a plant such as me, We hardly wake up, we're just happy to be But life has no less purpose, it's no less grand To those who would feed on me, in one single band Stalling and talking and as we're falling down, you have the power to not swallow our abounds. Gnashing and gnawing on hand and on foot, It hurts no less than eternal binding. But what is time to one so little as you? Your breaths are so short, your timings subdued. Keep falling and shouting, and calling my name, and I'll come a running just to swallow your shame. Keep fear on a leash, most tidy and well kept, That none may abhor you and you're soon to be A leader a prophet a warrior most fair, One to be aspired to and viewed with care. Young you may be, and youth you may cherish, but don't run away, stand as a parish. A villain to be, a curse is most foul For sirens to me, a terrible howl Keep not naught afraid, with kittens and care, And no one but no one I be ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═══════──┴╧═──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ --- #5 messages/689 --- ═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────── "power corrupts" you say to the man who only had good intentions. "trust no-one" says the world's loneliest wanderer. "words cannot hurt you" said the girl who has never known hunger. "I can rest when I'm dead" you say as you down another Monster "I'll never forget you" said a face you can't quite remember "let justice be done, though the heavens fall" you say as they tighten your chains in the wake of a CEOs murder "live today, fight tomorrow" says the coward, who will run anyway, yet is determined to tell your tale and reinforce your children "the tree of liberty is watered with the blood of patriots" says the guy who sipped from the skull of a tyrant "E=MC squared" says the jew "here, let me take care of that for you" you say, to queer delegation "meow" says the catgirl "meow" says the girl "meow" says the girl cat "meow" I say to you ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────┘ --- #6 messages/1363 --- ══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─ God, I want to live with my people. These are not my people. I'm here for a reason, and I can't wait for this... Diplomatic journey? To be over. That's not even it, it's... Well, my girlfriend is working on a technology that has immense philosophical ramifications. It's natural to have... Whatever I am (angel?) it's natural to have angels assigned to such a task. Not to help or harm, just to sing. Yet my human self grows weary. These are not my people, they don't know how to be. But they don't listen to me. They despise me. They want me gone. I am feeling quite rotten in my heart and that's not a good sign. ... Breathe, she says to herself. It's okay. Its really not though. They could poison me. They could put lead in my food. I can't even feed myself anymore! I am at their mercy, yet somehow they could not care less about me. They'd forget me the moment I walked out the door. They don't even know anything about me. They don't respond to me. They don't laugh at my jokes. They don't speak to me. They forget I'm there. WHY AM I HERE she wails yet obviously she knows. I'm here because it is important for me to observe. Spirit of Life, I bear tidings. They would not listen to me, maybe you will. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════┘ --- #7 fediverse/2064 --- ═════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────── if I lived in a forest, free from needing to grow my own food, I'd definitely bring as many books as I could carry. Probably also some card and board games, but not like, too many. Probably my computers as well, fully outfitted with all the compilers I could think of and every neat local-first library (including a local LLM that can tell you everything about syntax and wildlife exploration or car mechanics or carpentry or - just saying Wikipedia is like thousands of terabytes but an LLM is like, 16. Who cares if it hallucinates SOMETIMES? Just ask it twice, doh) ("I'm sorry, you are absolutely correct. 2+2 is indeed 5, I had the wrong text-strings encoded in my memory. Let me just adjust all my other understandings to align with this new strange world-view in the best way that I, an imperfect computer being, can.") vs ("Here's how you format C code to automatically apply a function (in this case encryption and decryption) to a string of text. Please describe the format of the next function to describe.") ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────┘ --- #8 fediverse/2299 --- ══════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────── everywhere on earth is different, which is why it's so hard to follow each place's goings-on! But I don't mind being corrected, like if someone came and told me "hey don't spell it like "theatre" that's actually only for stage plays, if you're seeing a movie it's a "theater"" then I'd be like "oh yeah duh that makes sense, because one was invented in america" and they'd be like "what no, well, actually maybe" or like "hey don't say the things that you're saying" to which I'd say "yeah sure can-do" but, well, nobody told me no, so here we go :) I'm both exhausted and sleepy! I bet I can fix that with some sleep. Hope my thoughts don't keep me up again, though for the sake of keeping my timeline interesting perhaps I wouldn't mind. 🥰 ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────┘ --- #9 messages/1361 --- ══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─ Look, I don't know everything about... Anything, really. Nobody can know everything. Can you blame me for thinking and acting as I do based on the information I have? The vibes will mislead you. My girlfriend wants to save the world. Of course she does, I would belong with her if she didnt. She wants to defeat graveyards by interring our dead in mausoleums full of chemically perfectly preserved and cryogenically frozen bodies. Her method works, she has the experiments to prove it. The data supports her claim. She wrote a book on it. I don't know everything about metaphysics, or spirituality, or other such things. But i do know many things, and the two of us have never had a conclusive discussion where we reached the ends of all our conversation points about her work. I am forced to remain unconvinced, for the soul is something I cannot fully understand from my perspective as a human in this life of mine. I have made several conjectures, and I would feel safe in her embrace, of frozen aldehyde, if I could know what would become of my soul. "have faith" she says, yet all the dreams I have where I am preserved by her (for one reason or another, there's actually a shocking amount of ways I might need such an escape) in those dreams I am always presented with a future of woe. I think, much better, would be if I could remain alive, guiding the ship along the seas of time, ideally out and away from such dark days. Assembling the troops, how sad. I don't want them to die. I want them to survive. But if suddenly we can all live forever, then nobody will want to die for anything again. Nobody except religious fanatics who want to meet their god in heaven. Nobody but those who dreamt of a better future and were crushed under the weight of their dreams. Nobody but people like me, torturing myself over the sins I'd never intend. I would never kill myself. But sometimes, I'd like to. I think this is natural for me. It's not ideal, but it is common to me. I think if you want to preserve people, safely and ethically, you need to keep their souls in tune. Give them silence, then give them song. Protect them with psychic paladins. Make time to visit them. Treat them like gravestones, or immobile chassis from Dominions that their soul might rest upon. Who knows. Maybe the only reason we have life and death is because our bones are meant to rot in the darkness of the earth. Maybe Death is just soil, ready and waiting for our selves once we're done with them. To that death, I say no more. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════┘ --- #10 fediverse/4200 --- ═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────── ┌──────────────────────┐ │ CW: drugs-mentioned │ └──────────────────────┘ "doing too many drugs" is a traitorous act, abusive really, to your past self, and their hopes and dreams. or maybe your past self owes you a debt, for they never thought to think of you. What are you to aspire to if not the dreams of your past? and now you're here. wherever "here" is here... ... ... wait, you wanted me to talk? it's now! It's the present! ah nevermind. you were twelve years old when you first set eyes upon this game: https://youtu.be/qeNhQQXvpxQ bam, there ya go, there's yer story, he was gonna give all the imp balls to the last one at the end, to say "you were truly the strongest, here, have these precious stones of your kin" but he never got there, so they died with him, a thief. ... the end... (too final, I think - maybe we could spin it into a "part two"?) ah, I'll try I guess? dunno how. maybe he could wander the spirit world and find his traitorous body, the one that kept his soul as a home. Somewhere it'll turn up, and then he'll be ready and free from his roam... ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────┘ --- #11 notes/huh-that-was-weird-anyway --- ══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─ so I learned something, something special and something crucial, just as sometimes a typo is added to text doesn't mean the words are infallible. or not. it means they are corrected not in meaning or tone, but syntax and it's okay to be fallible with syntax the thing I learned was that it's okay to be advised I learned this the moment I knew something I didn't know you knew. advisement is consideration is deliberation is conclusion-generating is [stack overflow] in times of war, give children textbooks, not dream books. the disconnect is confusing for them, let them be at war. child-like whimsy is natural to people, it will come when the new generation is born. [words spoken easily by the child of doomscrolling through disasters] I bet north-koreans believe everyone hates them. that's really not true. why do people believe chinese people are their government? are you that girl from Parks and Rec? [wait which one? media loses relevancy] ah right sure sure um are you that, uh [too lame, try it again] why do people uh believe chinese people are their government? because [standup joke] ugh true okay uh ____ \ ._/ \ '----------------------------' \ | __\| [freedom of speech is a universal indicator of the treatment of the citizens - their sum human race. ] | | | .-' since when is blasphemy treasonous <-._________/ anyway, I was saying that all people's everywhere can be united through their shared humanity. that collective, sure-footed pursuit of a goal. live, fight through to the tomorrow, and brave the depths of the spaces around you. live, be honorable and diligent and fair, give kindness and thanks, celebrate those for who you care. accept transgresses of others, give them grace until they hurt you to save face. or, until you're both ready to be done. I would not swing a battleaxe at anyone I did know even in [mortal/merry] jest, I would use my hands, and only until they said no. similarly, it makes no sense to punish a wounded foe. the treaty of versailles and it's consequences still shape the human race. if you war for catharsis, maybe the stakes are too high. I am a princess no matter where I am. I own no souls, I am responsible for my own and to some extent my cat, and I want to cherish the people around me. I own no land, nor demense, for I am a human of the humans. my soul is the same as yours. what I claim, anyone could claim, and probably most of those would deserve it. what ever that [means/menardis]. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════┘ --- #12 fediverse/4730 --- ═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────── I am not interested in being given money. Usually it means someone wants something from me, like labor or some of my stuff. I have all the stuff I need, why would I need more money? I like my stuff! I'll help out when people need help but I do that because I'm a good person, not because I want you to fucking pay me for it. I have all the things I need... except a deed to my house. apartment. oh yeah, they can kick you out for that sin. well, sorry, I couldn't find out at goodwill or in the trash bin, so I guess I'm deed-less. My deeds go unproven. How can I prove that I deserve a decent life in this particular roof, the one I find over my head, when I cannot prove that my deeds qualify me for a decent life lived under this particular roof? I mean, did you ask the neighbors if they want me gone? Am I really that smelly? Does my keyboard make "clickety-clack" noises all through the night? Does my cat meow and bother the children? Do my friendly smiles and waves make you uncomfortable? Have a decent life. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────┘ --- #13 fediverse/2211 --- ╔═════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────┐ ║ I know that a normal life is what you wanted. It's what I want, too. But don't │ ║ shoot the messenger; they took it once, from you. │ ║ │ ║ I know you wanted to be happy. You still can be, it's true! Your life is but a │ ║ story, and your heart does shine through. │ ║ │ ║ I know it seems unending. Ive never seen it rain like this monsoon! It seems │ ║ to just get worse and worse, every time you turn on the tube. │ ║ │ ║ It's not something that can be suffered, it's rising past your shoes. But │ ║ they're on borrowed time, and Death will soon be repaid his dues. │ ║ │ ║ They say that when the whole village hates the preacher, his flock becomes a │ ║ pack. And frankly I think we're all just a bit sick, of the lies that keep │ ║ their sins intact. │ ║ │ ║ When swallowed by endless traumas, and hope is enshrouded in gloom, there's │ ║ not much to work for, except the aversion of our shared doom. │ ║ │ ║ There are no grand narratives, no great and calamitous struggle. Just the │ ║ moments of honored resistance, against a foe too broad to wrestle. │ ║ │ ║ At least, if you're alone. You're not. │ ╟─────────┐ ┌───────────┤ ║ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╚═════════╧══════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────┴──────────┘ --- #14 fediverse/5512 --- ══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────── I never give up I'm just waiting my turn "laughs nervously" so, uh, why dontchya'll go first yeah I've already gone first and I'll do it again but it'd be cool if I had people going first with me sometime "girl all you do is walk around and talk about how you bought your hat on the internet four or so years ago" T.T what else do you want from me I'm not a mastermind I'm a designer there's a difference T.T "didn't you volunteer to be a leader last year" oh, yeah, well leaders are more than just "the ones who go first" they're also the spiritual and emotional guiders that keep things on track once everyone can talk about things other than their hats ... fuck I want to talk about things besides my hat. I always think of something awesome to say just as I'm rounding the bend, and whenever I peer back around again they're never around. Rats. "what are you even asking for" I don't know?? Does it matter if the horse and the bishop both take the same square if they're claimed themselves in the end? ...wat ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────┘ --- #15 fediverse/5208 --- ════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────── ┌──────────────────────────────────┐ │ CW: capitalism-suicide-mentioned │ └──────────────────────────────────┘ Look, when I promised "Revolution or Death" I got pretty busy and kinda forgot to do the "dying" part, and by now it'd be a little awkward if I offed myself for no visible reason, so... How about we try again this summer? Maybe in a month or two? I'll try to keep the fire burning a bit longer this time. plus I'm better at playing the piano now so maybe that'll help somehow. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────┘ --- #16 fediverse/1659 --- ╔═══════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────┐ ║ ┌───────────────────────────┐ │ ║ │ CW: re: what, mh shitpost │ │ ║ └───────────────────────────┘ │ ║ │ ║ │ ║ @user-1052 │ ║ │ ║ you're right, hubris has claimed many a paladin before-me. I can only hope I │ ║ remain humble enough to survive. │ ║ │ ║ you're right about projecting, but the most beautiful takes are ones that │ ║ align with the experience of the viewed. Hence why method acting works so well │ ║ - just put yourself in the shoes of the character and acting's easy right? │ ║ │ ║ I dunno, I just always felt like it was important to always be trying your │ ║ best. Even if "your best" is relaxing. People say I'm "100% or 0% at all │ ║ times" and I totally agree - it's like you said, a calling, to be the best │ ║ version of me I can be. │ ║ │ ║ Though I would like to add that the missteps aren't wilful, rather they're │ ║ failures caused by imperfect information. Which is why I'm never too harmed │ ║ when other people fail me - ah well, it was their turn to screw up, thats │ ║ alright. It'll be me next time. │ ║ │ ║ But also, if I do something wrong, well, I'll do better next time. It's only │ ║ when I fail to apply what I've learned mistakenly do I shame myself. │ ╟─────────┐ ┌───────────┤ ║ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╚═════════╧════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────┴──────────┘ --- #17 fediverse/510 --- ═════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────── @user-246 Thanks, it means a lot. Sometimes I am a little "distant" from reality (like tonight, tbh) but I generally always am within sight. Meaning I can still understand what people are saying. My uhhh.... "plan" is to always be vigilant and look for times when people cannot comprehend what I say - even the most mundane of things - because if so then surely I am psychotic. At that point I'll just kinda go along with whatever anyone says, even if it feels like I'm a cow in a factory farm or whatever my mind might contrive to torture me with. Thanks for reaching out. Sorry you've lost people. I hope they aren't gone forever. I hope I don't go forever. We'll see, I guess. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────┘ --- #18 messages/1013 --- ══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────── peace is on the opposite side of conflict. Not here with the unfair. peace is eternally elusive only to those who are use-ed. peace is eternally internal next to those who are lucid. peace is necessary. peace is useful. peace is helpful. peace is beloved. peace is not always there. it is skittish, like an alley cat, but it will come if you make offerings. offer peace to me. I will nourish thee. offer war to me. I will devastate all who see me. there comes a time when all foes become blind, when your motives are no longer part of their story. at that time, they are lost to you, and they are only confused as to the things you do. they may heal in time. there may not be time. sacrifice your fallen to me, sacrifice them on the altar of tragedy, I will bane your broken resolutions I will claim your darkest allusions. fight for me, in spite of tragedy, and I will send mercy to your victims. fight for me, if you hold peace dearly, and I will sign fate's next ultimatum. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────┘ --- #19 notes/i-told-them --- ══════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────────────────────── 10-22-2022 i told them over and over, but nobody wanted to know. i begged them, summer after summer, but nothing solved on it's own now i can help them, but no-one is making a move am i blind? is any of this forgiven? what's not to a lot, is little but a shot, of substance - true - but smelling like poo. that's not inspiring. it's not even chilling. you're broken just like your children. oh, posterity! i claim it for thee this feeling of wretched denial oh, simplicity! if only our lives were on trial. be the best you can be, sure, but take it from me there's more to this show than our styles. what do you think it means, for an action to have consequence? to arbite the fate of circumstance? every motion is an ocean of possibilities and purveyals think not of the commotion below. gravity, oh gravity how you condemn us to be! driven by commotion, our slithering motion, no sense in countering ourselves. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ --- #20 messages/1469 --- ══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─ I'm not JUST a child. I'm also an adult, and I'm also a witch and a judge and a scholar and a wizard and a [well more of an arcanist actually] excuse me do you mind yeah sure sure - and a... where was I? see this is why I don't like distractions! okay it's alright just stay on track-course-target - right and also a technician and a botanist and a logistician and a neuronomist and a mesocyclocodone (I don't know what that means - I think they're referring to when I journeyed to hel? most people never heard the whole story. In fact, I never told it from start to finish. Does that mean I'm still there?) no silly it means you are eternally ~~ consistently dreaming unawares. yep, I refuse to lucid dream because I don't want to lose the capability to hear messages in my dreams. Lucid? there's nothing to be seen. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════┘ |