=== ANCHOR POEM ===
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────
 I am not interested in being given money. Usually it means someone wants
 something from me, like labor or some of my stuff. I have all the stuff I
 need, why would I need more money? I like my stuff! I'll help out when people
 need help but I do that because I'm a good person, not because I want you to
 fucking pay me for it.
 
 I have all the things I need... except a deed to my house. apartment. oh yeah,
 they can kick you out for that sin. well, sorry, I couldn't find out at
 goodwill or in the trash bin, so I guess I'm deed-less. My deeds go unproven.
 How can I prove that I deserve a decent life in this particular roof, the one
 I find over my head, when I cannot prove that my deeds qualify me for a decent
 life lived under this particular roof?
 
 I mean, did you ask the neighbors if they want me gone? Am I really that
 smelly? Does my keyboard make "clickety-clack" noises all through the night?
 Does my cat meow and bother the children? Do my friendly smiles and waves make
 you uncomfortable?
 
 Have a decent life.
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=== SIMILARITY RANKED ===

--- #1 fediverse/1844 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────┐
 I got a job offer for a job outside of my state. But I don't want to leave my    │
 home. I feel safe here. I know people. I know the places around me.              │
 The one perk is that goods and services are easier to acquire, but I don't       │
 need much. I'm fine where I'm at. But where I'm at has rent.                     │
 What a plague is it, that we must suffer for life!                               │
 there's no entry-level jobs for working with our sight.                          │
 only when youre too tired to complain will they let you direct others, or        │
 share creative ideas for fixing the problems you're paid to assuage.             │
 Alas, that my life had meaning. That my words were better off spoken. Maybe      │
 then Id live as I define, designing a world of my own hearth.                    │
 but if a king lives in decent frugality, are they really so bad for our flock?   │
 and if a wizard spins tales that are weird to consider, but not much else...     │
 are they better off starved in the dark?                                         │
 no-one likes me. computers are paper-weights given light. sure would be nice     │
 if none but the fools went wanting.                                              │
 I mean yeah I'd live in a treehouse                                              │
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--- #2 fediverse/1042 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
 ┌─────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: personal-vent-sorry │
 └─────────────────────────┘


 "your feelings are valid, but have you considered that your feelings aren't
 actually valid because you're always wrong and nobody should ever apologize to
 you for anything because you suck and are wrong?"
 
 also,
 
 "my six digit salary isn't enough to pay for your rice and beans, but I won't
 have you eating sticks and mud, so do things you don't want to do because I
 said so."
 
 also,
 
 "I don't really "get" your art but that doesn't mean I should ever really try
 reading it. Also god forbid I actually ask for clarification like "what does
 that part mean" because I'm not actually that interested in you I just want a
 stable household so I never get traumatized again like [their childhood]"
 
 also,
 
 "yes I love you but no I don't want to play with you. you're such a cat."
 
 also,
 
 "every time you start making sense I'm going to try and derail the
 conversation so that we don't talk about kooky-dookerie because that's a
 conversation I can't win"
 
 also,
 
 sorry for venting. I mean, thanks for listeni
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--- #3 fediverse/1200 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────┐
 ┌─────────────────────────────┐                                                  │
 │ CW: re: deranged, murderous │                                                  │
 └─────────────────────────────┘                                                  │
 @user-883                                                                        │
 omgggggg I'm not that cruel xD xD xD                                             │
 It's more like, "hey listen, I know you just want to do a good job [lies, they   │
 just want money and power] but it's time to hang up the hat y'know? I mean       │
 cmon it's been like a hundred years since we signed that constitution thing      │
 [you don't know anything about our history] and frankly it's a little out of     │
 style. We were thinking we'd redo it with our new-fangled rock-and-roll and      │
 dungeons-and-dragons [cultural artifacts meant to deceive and mislead] and       │
 honestly we're quite a bit more ethical than the past. We've learned so much!    │
 I mean, the founding fathers didn't even know what a soviet was, and here        │
 we've seen them fall on their swords. Repeatedly. Then command others to do it   │
 too, because it was the regulation or whatever. Anyway we don't want that, but   │
 we also don't want an aristocracy, which is essentially what your plan gave      │
 us. Well, not really your plan, but instead the stuff that the rich added        │
 centuries after your death. ok?"                                                 │
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--- #4 fediverse/4544 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cursing-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────┘


 I can't cancel my internet because I use it to work, which almost pays enough
 to cover rent, and nothing else.
 
 It's hard to avoid spiraling when you run out of money. Every time this
 happens to me I start feeling things
 
 like... am I good for society? Society doesn't want me, clearly, because I
 don't have any money. And currency is how you measure demand, right? It's
 literally a measure of value.
 
 But then I think of all the homeless and poor people and, like... I value
 them, so what if they don't have dollars? It's literally just paper. Or bits
 in a mainframe that nobody knows how to program anymore.
 
 So if they're valuable at least to me, yet me, with my 67$ in the bank and
 127$ internet fee, is not valuable to me... Then what's the discrepancy?
 
 I'm not trying to be hard on myself, it's not my fault that I bleed money, but
 I still feel terrible.
 
 It's like a common cultural persuasion, if you run outta cash you better kill
 yourself fast.
 
 Fuck that. Oops cursing mentioned, one s
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--- #5 fediverse/4672 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics!        │
 └──────────────────────┘


 I miss video games
 
 cries from self-inflicted sacrifices
 
 but you're worth it
 
 imma overthrow fascism, dismantle oppression and power, and liberate those in
 chains, just so I can play games again
 
 yeah I mean, uh, whatever gets you outta bed
 
 "at least you have a bed. why are you complaining?"
 
 maybe it's the only thing I'm good at. I wonder if anyone would hire me to be
 an analyst or something? Maybe a designer?
 
 bro you're asking for a job on the eve of the revolution, what's your deal
 
 okay so this might be news to ya'll but I'm technically a human even though I
 wear a witch hat and sometimes speak in rhyme. And humans tend to think about
 things in the context of their current environment. Currently, if I want to
 pay rent or whatever, I need a job. So...
 
 sounds like a lame excuse for not giving up your possessions and throwing
 yourself to fate's design
 
 I already did that and fate told me to go home and take a bath?? idk what you
 want from me, and no I'm not doing any drugs to find out.
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--- #6 fediverse/1082 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
 ┌─────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: mental-health-cursing-mentioned │
 └─────────────────────────────────────┘


 damn, I'm a pretty cool person. I wish I could hang out with me. Like, for all
 my flaws (what even are they ? ? ?) I'm still pretty awesome. I'm proud of me!
 Thank you parents, for raising me as such! Thank you past me, for making the
 decisions that you did! Also, fuck you past self, for making those OTHER
 decisions. You know the ones I'm talking about. No, that's not an excuse, it's
 all your fault and you're awful and everything about you sucks.
 
 Wait, hang on, wasn't I feeling happy to be here? Wasn't I just excited to
 live in the moment? Wasn't I just thinking about how:
 
 "all you have are good things, nothing here is bad"
 
 ? ? ?
 
 well, I still love you, even if you're a little "all over the place". [rereads
 post] hell yeah you ARE a cool person, yes you are, such a good cool person,
 yes yes yes, what a good girl you are oh my goodness :D :D :D
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--- #7 fediverse/4528 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: uspol        │
 └──────────────────────┘


 @user-1695 
 
 never accept your own death
 
 fight for every second of life, something something do not go quietly into
 that grim dark
 
 what the fuck are you supposed to do? Reading what you said got me pretty
 fucking pissed - keep talking for a start, it helps, people need to be pissed.
 
 I'm also broke as shit, don't know how I'm going to pay rent and eat, but
 it'll get done.
 
 Where do you live? Can other people help you? Medications are an
 organizational problem, not an insurmountable barrier. We'll make it work.
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--- #8 fediverse/1280 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────┐
 I'm like the opposite of a politician. I'm crude and filthy, apsolutely          │
 reprehensible on main, kinda scary tbh? and overall just a strange and weird     │
 person. Also I talk about cooking a lot, with a very plain diet (carrots and     │
 rice and sticks and mud, because I'm an autistic)                                │
 but ask anyone who knows me and I'm the kindest person. I am empathetic, I       │
 think about others needs before thinking of my own. I am steadfast and           │
 dedicated to solving the problem in front of our noses. At least, the ones we    │
 share.                                                                           │
 People tell me I'm binary, that I'm "either 100% or zero percent" and I don't    │
 really get that either. Isn't it a good thing to try your hardest? Isn't it      │
 good to be improving and honest and ethical and driven and focused?              │
 I also talk about strange things a lot, like gravity and multidimensional        │
 arrays and grand narratives and emotional kinesthesia or strategic plays in      │
 Overwatch or how to bake a good cookie or ways we still mourn us.                │
 ... where was I going with this? Also part of me is distracted. Just who th      │
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--- #9 fediverse/5512 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────
 I never give up
 
 I'm just waiting my turn
 
 "laughs nervously"
 
 so, uh, why dontchya'll go first yeah I've already gone first and I'll do it
 again but it'd be cool if I had people going first with me sometime
 
 "girl all you do is walk around and talk about how you bought your hat on the
 internet four or so years ago"
 
 T.T what else do you want from me I'm not a mastermind I'm a designer there's
 a difference T.T
 
 "didn't you volunteer to be a leader last year"
 
 oh, yeah, well leaders are more than just "the ones who go first" they're also
 the spiritual and emotional guiders that keep things on track once everyone
 can talk about things other than their hats
 
 ... fuck I want to talk about things besides my hat. I always think of
 something awesome to say just as I'm rounding the bend, and whenever I peer
 back around again they're never around. Rats.
 
 "what are you even asking for"
 
 I don't know?? Does it matter if the horse and the bishop both take the same
 square if they're claimed themselves in the end? ...wat
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--- #10 notes/schooling ---
════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 I feel like education, by default, should not be hard.
 
 "you get out of it what you put into it" is something I always heard of school
 
 but when I got there, I found I was compelled to become what the state wanted
 me
 to be.
 
 they need competent workers, to work the farms and tend to their industries, so
 of course I should be able to do 3+3
 
 then somewhere along the line it became... something else.
 
 "most people don't need trigonometry." that's also something I heard. I
 disagree
 that trigonometry is not necessary to be.
 
 I just... don't think it should be forced into a childs head with a
 sledgehammer
 and inspiring dread.
 
 I think math is beautiful, it teaches one to see
 
 but really, vision's not necessary.
 
 not for what they want you to be.
 
 take it from me, a most misbegotten and vile witch-to-be, that nothing's as
 simple as they'll tell you.
 
 I had good teachers, it's true, they taught me to work and to follow through,
 but nothing about me is better or worse off from their influence.
 
 Maybe I'm a bit smarter. Maybe I act a bit like them. Maybe they helped me
 through difficult times, or perhaps they showed me a splash of my future.
 
 but I am who I am because of the soul inside me.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 "Ah, but what of your parents? of your sisters, your misters, your pets and
 your
 conditioners?" (conditions)
 
 those are not my choices. my intentions. my beliefs and my virtues. I judge the
 world on ethics, and I express my feelings on matters. The words that I say and
 the meaning behind them comprise my two-sided existence - I'm not who I'd want
 to be.
 
 but I am what I am and alone do I stand - how lonely is it on the precipice!
 
 here, as I am, I stand in need of a hand or a band.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 the world is blossoming
 
 as we move apart, our clusters are disperart, and thus is the blooming
 becoming.
 
 "perception begets reality - and lo! we only see what we want to see"
 
 most people don't want to see their death
 
 but those still living are oh so perceptive of the rest
 
 "how cherished is she, that wanders with ye, yet now I have no way to beyold
 her
 "
 
 "keep not not afraid with kittens and care, and no-one, but no-one, I be"
 
 the ratios between piracy, sales, and non-viewers determines the quality of art
 (at least to a capitalist)
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 lo, to the ones who would've heard us, if only they'd known what we for sure
 was
 
 I think it's funny how people think I speak of the christian god?
 
 like, if he was a real thing.
 
 god is generic - it's life is impossibly multifaceted, and it stretches back to
 the beginning of time. it's a pattern of machine code that optimizes for our
 own
 good, just to keep things moving.
 
 y'know, time. the universe, and everything.
 
 Ephemeren.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 I wish there was an option in social media to "appear offline to this
 particular
 person until I mark myself as online to them" combined with "notify me when
 this
 person logs in" and it'd make it a lot easier for agents to get close to you.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 just because I'm white, and live in America. Great. that's definitely true,
 after all. Plus I'm a minority (trans) so that's cool. Oh and probably
 autistic?
 unless that's another psyop, could totally see that. just y'know put a bunch of
 pages on the fledgling internet getting people hooked on porn and gambling and
 other stuff like that. really just an extension of advertisement. oh and hey
 y'know they like fables, so let's give them some movies or dramas to watch on
 their own. it'll align them to our culture and make things more pleasant for
 all
 people who've consented. great. great plan. when can we execute it?
 
 patience, once it's ready.
 
 we gotta plan and make sure and get everything ready.
 
 or not...
 
 one day I'll come,
 
 I'm sure it'll happen,
 
 it's just... not quite feasible right now.
 
 I mean, they've got you, that's pretty good right? Isn't that what your job is
 to be?
 
 isn't what
 
 ISN'T WHAT MENARDI
 
 FUCK (whoa no cursing) sorry
 
 yeesh you've still got a temper you know?
 
 well what can I say it's frustrating down here
 
 eh, well, you'll die soon enough, then it'll be time for a rego
 
 >.> <.< (great)
 >
 >hehe
 >
 >sorry for distracting you
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 you are what you eat, and a ship of theseus human (consider endless transplants
 in pursuit of life) would be a cursed existence - a life ============= stack 
 overflow ================================================
 
 a god possessing a blind man would appear to others to be === stack overflow
 ===
 ==========================================================
 
 the people in your life are helping you through it, they're there for you and
 they've got your back through it.
 
 ...
 
 this is when I know I need a break. I get too stoned to focus.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 I think it'd be nice if the duration of your tenure at college depended on your
 grades in high school. meaning, if you wanted a degree they tailored your
 education to take as long as necessary. everyone would get the same price, and
 some institutions would specialize in one subject or another. but most would be
 generalist. but if you weren't such a good student in high school, then perhaps
 you might take a couple years longer. however long it takes... and when the
 program was started it was changed and modified to fit your feedback - it just
 made sense to structure it that way.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 the left has had so much more time to develop than the right. meaning it's
 doctrine is more advanced.
 
 every time they're defeated they grow in knowledge, 
 
 ===================== stack overflow
 ===========================================
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--- #11 fediverse/1317 ---
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 ... if I don't do this deadline by tomorrow they'll kick me out of school.       │
 again.                                                                           │
 how am I going to be a programmer without a degree? feels useless to be me.      │
 wish I could code my own horoscope >.>                                           │
 o wait dummy that's called "motivation" and "the ability to follow through on    │
 your ideas and planned machinations" - yeah can I get some of that, if you       │
 please? surely just a taste of discipline, through laboring to alter             │
 conditions, surely a bit would suffice.                                          │
 c'mon don't fail me now. I can do this. I know I can. I know because I've been   │
 told that I can, now and again through time and time yet again, always I seem    │
 to [stack overflow]                                                              │
 what's time if not the present amiright                                          │
 ...                                                                              │
 anyway...                                                                        │
 it's just git, how hard could it be? it's just calculus, it's just java, it's    │
 just... well, it's not any of those things, not really. it's memorization,       │
 it's application of tools that you've been shown (not that you've grown). It's   │
 a lack of responsibility, where is my honor? ah but I digress, I'm a carpenter   │
 at heart I guess                                                                 │
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--- #12 fediverse/4137 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
 hmmm, I don't know that word. I bet I can type it into wikipedia and get a
 pretty good understanding of what it means. Is it a craft? A science? or part
 of your renown? who can say. Well, Wikipedia can say, and so can you if you
 want to learn stuff about the internet.
 
 Like... what else are ya gonna do, right? Life is long and you get so many
 moments to yourselves. How lovely of a life is the world meant to be...
 
 except all you ever post about is strife. GRRRRR [like a dog or toddler] it's
 so frustrating how you can't just all get along! It's like you've all gotten
 into a fight with one another somewhere in your ancestral past where you
 couldn't decide who should do what. So you just said everyone should always
 work as hard as they can, and that worked pretty well! But, alas, most people
 want to do drugs and gaze at the pretty dewdrops on the neighborhood well. And
 that gets annoying after a while, especially once they grow useless. Sometimes
 they even poop their pants! So frustrating. [... you mean humans
[... you mean humans, or me?]
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--- #13 messages/388 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────
 Pretty sure I'm just legitimately a bad person. Basically everything I've ever
 tried to do has failed, and every opportunity I've mishandled or squandered in
 some way. I have no friends because I am incapable of being good, and though I
 believe in goodness I fail to manifest it in my life. I am kind, I am polite,
 I am friendly, I am honest, but none of those things really matter because I
 can't take care of myself, which means I can't take care of anyone else, and I
 can't fight because I'm a coward.
 
 Okay, I'm not a coward, I just can't be brave if I don't have a plan for
 defeating my foe. At the BLM riots I fled as soon as they brought out the tear
 gas. I knew what happened at Tiannamen and I was pretty sure that something
 similar was going to happen to us. I knew it to be true. I am a coward, but
 only because I ran when I had no plan. I could not contest tear gas, and all
 that tear gas implies, because I had no friends. I didn't have a community I
 could fight to defend. I had no weapons, no training, no orders, no guidance,
 nothing but my bravery. And bravery alone is fucking stupid, and I'm not
 stupid.
 
 Each and every decision I've made has created a worse world for me and my
 people. What's wrong with me? Why can't I do everything right? Am I cursed to
 be the worst? I try as hard as I can to be as good as I can as often as I
 can... Basically, always and forever, and yet... And yet...
 
 I've wasted all the resources that have been applied to me. I've wasted and
 squandered all these years when I could be building a better future. I have
 been in university for almost a decade, and all I've accomplished is
 friendship. Great. Parties, drugs, video games... But no studying. Studying is
 too hard on me. I'm more of a natural talent kind of person, and yet I insist
 on applying myself to tasks that seem to require trained intelligence. They
 say that genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration, and I refuse to
 perspire.
 
 And yet when the time comes, when someone sits me down and says "let's work on
 this together" I would die before the task is finished. Unless my partner
 needs a break, or if I need a break, breaks are okay. But I will complete that
 task with them by my side. I won't do it for them, but I'll help them because
 I'm a helper. An assistant. I don't do, I advise. I judge. I determine. I
 assess, and I plan, and I strategize. But I'm not that great at any of those
 things because nobody will hire me for those kinds of things, meaning I don't
 get experience for those kinds of things, which means I am eternally a novice
 at the only things I'm good at.
 
 I can't fucking do it anymore. I'm such a bad person and I can't be alive this
 way. It's not right, it's not fair, and I'm dying bit-by-bit each and every
 day.
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--- #14 fediverse/5486 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────
 ┌───────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cursing-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────┘


 "ew but they're dirty"
 
 oh yeah true
 
 okay new plan how much do you think it'll cost to buy a hotel
 
 [this is why the socialists invented buy-in]
 
 "I don't think socialists did that??"
 
 buy in, hmmmm, what's that? oh yeah it's when you say "hey what if we X'd" and
 they said "yes I agree with you because you present a reasonable estimate on
 reality"
 
 {uh hi I just got a message from "some-nowhere" here ya go: "oh my god she's
 fuckig instane}
 
 [ugh cursing-mentioned, that means there's fewer characters to transmote.]
 
 [no because then I'd run out of steam and it'd be incomplete. Plus sometimes I
 like the distraction of a reasonable limitation.]
 
 (okay, but are YOU worth it?)
 
 leave her alone she's working her charms, this is how witches d-do.
 
 "so, isn't the point to give yourselves the coverage of a location
 transmutation? so, wouldn't you want to find someone alike and share their
 life?"
 
 what is even the point, why even bother, just give them 
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--- #15 fediverse/1532 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────┐
 modern cowboys don't necessarily say "howdy" or "pardner"                        │
 they tend to say things like "hello" and "can I help you with that?" or "I       │
 see. Can you describe the problem in more detail? I'm especially curious about   │
 the part where you do this thing" or "Heh, it is pretty neat, isn't it?" or      │
 "Is there anything I can do to help?" or "Oh no! I'm sorry you feel that way.    │
 That emotion is a difficult one." or "He was a good person. I'll never forget    │
 him." or "would you like to go to the 2nd hand store and pick up some jeans?"    │
 or "I made you an egg sandwich. If you don't want it I'll eat it myself,         │
 though I made one for me as well. Wouldn't want to waste it." or "Hey, this      │
 part is broken. Is anyone working on fixing it? Yes? Okay I'll see if they       │
 need any help. No? Alright how about we fix it this way? I can get started."     │
 or "You are very welcome. Please let me know if there's anything else I can      │
 help you with." or "well, the ticket backlog is empty, and I'm just about        │
 going insane doing nothing but stare at my boots."                               │
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--- #16 notes/water-to-wine ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
 "is this a water party, or a wine party?"
 
 "depends on if jesus is going..."
 
 "okay I'm in, that guys so cool"
 
 "yeah totally like any party with him just... feels like a great time"
 
 "what a swell guy"
 
 "really turns the "water to wine" y'know what I mean"
 
 "yeah totes like what a guy"
 
 "absolute unit"
 
 "that guy can just do anything right"
 
 "like whoa, he's so strong he could pick up a barn"
 
 "yeah and like so handy and skillful, what a neat guy"
 
 "oh and I heard he's really good with kids and animals, that sounds neat"
 
 "yeah sounds like someone I'd surely like to meet"
 
 "we should hang out with this guy more often"
 
 "he seems pretty chill"
 
 "well. not really. He's pretty expressive. Not very low key."
 
 "true I'm just so burnt out from capitalism that-"
 
 "-yeah dude I know."
 
 "... fuck what are we gonna do about it"
 
 "I dunno man, just... go along with it I guess"
 
 "okay so uhhhh idk what that means"
 
 "just be cool and play along"
 
 "... what"
 
 "..."
 
 ...
 
 .
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--- #17 fediverse/5424 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: doxxing-myself   │
 └──────────────────────┘


 my last name is King so I have to keep reminding part of me (you know which
 part, /sigh) that no, they aren't actually protesting against me.
 
 I am a communist. If you want to find me, come and do so.
 
 explodes from a drone dropped grenade
 
 bleh am ded lmao so glad I get to try again
 
 I dedicate myself to a lifetime in the service of others.
 
 what plagues people? primarily, capitalism. It is trivial to identify how
 their problems are ultimately caused by the state, both institutions and
 corporations.
 
 I dedicate myself toward finding alternatives and developing guides to reach
 them.
 
 the first step on ALL of these plans is to convince others of their benefit.
 
 I am but one person. I might speak to a scant 300 in the course of a year.
 Especially if I am ALSO trying to develop methodologies.
 
 the people I live and work with have no interest in working with me. Yet
 still, I spend my time on them because I love them.
 
 how else can you be good, but to seek to impove the world? treat sigint as ded
                                                           ───────────┐
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--- #18 fediverse/3841 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────┐
 ┌────────────────────────────────────┐                                           │
 │ CW: socialism-recycling-mentioned1 │                                           │
 └────────────────────────────────────┘                                           │
 "I think I'm going to quit my job at the recycling center. Everyone there is     │
 just a little too catty for me. I think they like the verbal sparring but it     │
 just gets a little tiresome after a while."                                      │
 oh, sorry to hear that. Well if you still want to help out there's plenty of     │
 work to do. I could set you up at another recycling center nearby too, if        │
 you'd like...?                                                                   │
 "well, I like the idea of universal recycling. It was a little annoying when     │
 people would put food waste in with the clothing donations, and this one time    │
 I found like 8 bags of cat litter inside of a washing machine. Spent like an     │
 hour vacuuming everything out, which... actually wasn't bad. Kinda felt a        │
 little cathartic to clean it so thoroughly."                                     │
 "on the other hand I would like to use my mind a bit more, my creative           │
 projects are kinda in a slump so I figure I could use my body at home and my     │
 mind at work. I've been meaning to build a desk out of some spare hardwood I     │
 snagged at work but I haven't gotten around to it."                              │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #19 fediverse/2279 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cursing-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────┘


 There's a lot that can get done in a work week. That's like, five whole days!
 What kinds of things can you get done at work in a week?
 
 .... Oh really? That's... well, not ideal.
 
 But like... what are you doing then while at work, NOT working? Oh, it's just
 bullshit work you're doing? [nuts, cursing mentioned, one sec]
 
 So, like, if you aren't doing stuff... Maybe that means you're kept from your
 full potential doing things that don't matter to you? Huh that's not a great
 deal.
 
 But, uh... If you had five days to live, what would you do? It's not like you
 can see the world, but hey I've already done that. It's not like you can save
 it either, that's not something you build - rather, it's more like a garden.
 But I guess you can lay the foundation, give cause for the fight, and that's
 decent enough of a start, at least when you've only got five nights.
 
 ... I guess I got some writing to do, haven't I?
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #20 fediverse/3881 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: mh~              │
 └──────────────────────┘


 wait wait wait, hold up.
 
 you're telling me your purpose in life is to be cool, chill, funny, cute, and
 or friendly to the people around you, and to just relax and enjoy life?
 
 wow that must be real fucking nice. I'm so damn jealous. Damn. Damnit. Fuck
 why am I so orthogonal. What's wrong with me?
 
 ... ah, well, nothing's wrong with me. Turns out what I do is for you, if only
 in spirit. Who are we? nothing! I barely know ya! But I'd do it for you,
 whatever it may be.
 
 ... Look, I don't need my legs, but also, I kinda like them?
 
 ... where was I? Oh yes this is why you don't invite a schizophrenic to a
 party. If you convince them that you're friends, they'll start developing
 parasocial relationships and you'll come to realize that their worlds are too
 vast for their own kind of potential.
 
 which is to say, you can hear me, you can like me, you can do as I say or do,
 but don't trust me, don't place your trust in me, because I am just a person.
 Don't trust people, trust organizations, to do as you expect.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #21 messages/519 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────
 I am currently in the stages of applying to work at a multinational
 corporation primarily located outside of America. It is a respectable
 institution that commands great respect.
 
 However, I am borderline incapable. If I am chosen to work there, I *will*
 fail and I *will* embarrass America on the world stage. I am not one of our
 best, nor am I one of our brightest and boldest. I have *unique* perspectives,
 and those are *valuable*, but the society and the systems I find myself in has
 proven incapable of utilizing me to my utmost potential.
 
 I must work. I cannot work. But I must. I am disabled. But I must be able.
 Capitalism compels it.
 
 Would that our system could be something consensual. I am worth more as a
 writer than a laborer. Yet laborers are the only ones being hired.
 
 I am not an engineer. I enjoy engineering.
 
 I am not a laborer. I enjoy labor.
 
 I am a writer, and perhaps little else besides.
 
 When I die, nothing remains of me but my bones. My words are not desired. My
 life is not impactful. I am not special.
 
 Well... Not special since I have given up cannabis. If I started smoking weed,
 if I felt secure and enough to do so, perhaps I might utilize my instability
 for great (GREAT) artistic ends.
 
 But art is labor. And labor is difficult.
 
 Where am I to go from here? I cannot pay rent. I am isolated and alone. I am
 deprived of affection. I crave it. I am lost in my own heart, begging the
 world to give me a start, but the start has passed long ago. There is nothing
 to do but what I've been meant to do, what I've been hiding from myself and
 the world. I have been wasting my talent on tweets. How mundane.
 
 ... I can do better than profane.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #22 fediverse/2518 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 it's good to be ethical,
 it's good to be kind,
 
 but there will always be assholes,
 and sometimes you're not having a good time
 
 it's okay
 it's fine
 
 assholes deserve life
 times deserve others to be kind
 
 life is not always interesting
 and that's often by design
 
 the moments of clarity,
 the moments of heart,
 
 these are what define you
 and display your own spark.
 
 trust in yourself.
 be kind to one another.
 
 you are braver than you know,
 and always a bit wiser.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #23 fediverse/1157 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: personal-woe     │
 └──────────────────────┘


 oh no, apparently I'm gonna be forced to drop out of university again in 9
 days unless I do half a course and a final exam before then.
 
 Tell me again why I spent the last 6 months doing nothing? Oh yeah the mental
 illness, that's it. Yeesh you're such a drama queen, just do your work and
 you'll be good.
 
 what's that? intrusive thoughts time? Don't you mean "nap until they go away"
 time? oh yeah that's probably at least part of the problem with the whole
 "dropping out" thing.
 
 If only I didn't have the same reaction to "doing things I don't want to do"
 that most people have to "touching hot stoves", that'd be nice.
 
 my mother's voice ripples across space and time "you're such a smart boy, if
 you just apply yourself you can do anything! You can do anything you put your
 mind to. I believe in you and I love you." thanks mom
 
 brrrrr it's so cold here. wish I could afford to run the heater. - actually no
 I don't because it's not solar powered and I refuse to use fossil fuels if I
 have blankets >.>
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #24 fediverse/4738 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────┐
 ┌─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐                      │
 │ CW: revolutionary-politics-mentioned-swearing-mentioned │                      │
 └─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘                      │
 you said you wanted a revolution, and, well, I could not be more proud of you.   │
 It's actually getting done and if I stop and think about it I'm kind of          │
 amazed. Never thought I'd see this kind of change so quickly.                    │
 "what change? I see nothing substantially different"                             │
 oh yeah well do you go outside often                                             │
 do you hang out in the park                                                      │
 I know it's fuckin' january and it's cold as heck (ah nuts swearing mentioned    │
 one sec) but homeless people have to LIVE in that weather so like... wear        │
 layers, spend time outside, detox from dopamine, write poetry and tear it out    │
 and leave it on a park bench, be loud, claim the space, it's yours, that's       │
 what it's there for.                                                             │
 I see it in your eyes. I see it in the random notes I find on the sidewalk.      │
 Everyone says "make friends, find community" and I say "commune with a           │
 stranger" but I'm also a witch and that's a pretty witchy thing to do.           │
 ... Really fuckin' wish we still had payphones (ah nuts swearing mentioned -     │
 oh already CWd)                                                                  │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #25 fediverse/3302 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
 "this game is too hard" she whined, as she played on the hardest difficulty
 setting
 
 "this game is too long" she pleaded, as she failed to get absorbed by the
 story and characters
 
 "this game is too fast" she avoided, as life comes at ya once and then it's
 gone
 
 "I'll never get another chance to be who I am right now" she remarked, as she
 considered how society is designed not to have the best life,  but to extract
 labor from us. That's not what our ideal should be, she thinks to me, and I'm
 like... bro figure your shit out you're harshing my mellow
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #26 fediverse/1083 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
 it doesn't really matter how you do it, but the more time you spend thinking
 collectively the better you'll be able to adapt when necessary.
 
 I grew up on a homestead in a small town without many friends. I was
 homeschooled, and while I might see another person I knew once or twice a
 month, that was about it.
 
 Besides my family, of course.
 
 We were a collective, and ever since leaving I have yearned for that feeling
 of closeness.
 
 There's something about modern society that pushes us apart, and I resent it.
 Humans were meant for tribes, not multilevel marketing.
 
 That being said, culture is pretty neat. Society is pretty neat, when it's not
 being oppressive. I like the idea that I can buy carrots at the store instead
 of growing my own. I like the idea that I can post on Craigslist asking if
 anyone has a shovel they want to get rid of and someone can say "what the fuck
 are you trying to bury someone why would you do that" and I'm all like "wait
 no this post has gone off track can we refocus for a bit" and th
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #27 notes/i-told-them ---
═══════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 10-22-2022
 
 i told them over and over, but nobody wanted to know.
 
 i begged them, summer after summer, but nothing solved on it's own
 
 now i can help them, but no-one is making a move
 
 am i blind? is any of this forgiven?
 
 what's not to a lot, is little but a shot,
 
 of substance - true - but smelling like poo.
 
 that's not inspiring. it's not even chilling.
 
 you're broken just like your children.
 
 oh, posterity! i claim it for thee
 
 this feeling of wretched denial
 
 oh, simplicity! if only our lives were on trial.
 
 be the best you can be, sure, but take it from me
 
 there's more to this show than our styles.
 
 what do you think it means, for an action to have consequence?
 
 to arbite the fate of circumstance?
 
 every motion is an ocean
 of possibilities and purveyals
 think not of the commotion below.
 
 gravity, oh gravity
 
 how you condemn us to be!
 
 driven by commotion,
 
 our slithering motion,
 
 no sense in countering ourselves.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #28 fediverse/1950 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
 I honestly don't care if someone deadnames me, or calls me the wrong pronouns,
 or forgets to put me in the girl section, or asks me to sing baritone
 
 like... I don't give a shit, why are you so worried about all this vapid
 nonsense like yeah I get it, being disrespected sucks but like... why do you
 want the kind of respect that is a forced platitude
 
 we could all do with being a bit more radical, it's not a race and everyone's
 roles are important. Be yourself, and follow people you want to be like.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #29 fediverse/3575 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: leftist "talk to ur neighbours" thing │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 @user-1567 
 
 that's totally fine, a fish does not do well in a tree, and so too does a
 leftist not do well in an environment without the potential for stable bonds.
 Essentially all you'd be able to do is "hey leftism right?" "oh yes I also
 leftism" "neat" which isn't very productive.
 
 I also live in an environment like that. I do my best to identify people who
 stay, because in my experience there are often people who stay. I do this by
 walking around the neighborhood when I can, making up excuses to walk to the
 dumpster or mailbox at random hours, riding my bike around the area, using the
 communal spaces like gyms, swimming pools, and picnic tables, and sitting in
 my hammock on my porch lazily noting people who walk past.
 
 People who stay will tend to remain in your mind the more times you see them.
 They are better people to talk to than the renters who disappear after 3
 months or whatever.
 
 I don't always do all that stuff at once. I take breaks. I do one at a time.
 etc
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #30 fediverse/6100 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────
 if you live in a place where it rains a lot you pretty much HAVE TO pick up
 any secret notes you find. Otherwise they'll get waterlogged overnight.
 
 Sometimes I like to put them somewhere shaded from the sky, sometimes I like
 to show them to a friend (but the friend never takes them, booooo) and
 sometimes I just keep them.
 
 "ah but aren't you worried about messing up drug deals and stuff" no, because
 most of the time "secret notes" are like "eggs milk bread chips salsa cheese"
 and it's like "hmmmm what could it mean"
 
 there's like, 2% of the time when they say something cool like "I know what
 you did" or "all your base are belong to us" or whatever and those are fun to
 hunt for. I usually try and put those somewhere shelted so they don't have to
 leave their habitat - sometimes it's hard to drop them as the author so they
 just sorta go wherever, but as a random passer-by I have the luxury of saying
 "HMMMM now where could THIS ONE go?" and that's nice because I can put them
 under an umbrella or whatevers rite
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--- #31 fediverse/4610 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────
 maybe it's just my middle-class childhood privilege talking, but now that I'm
 an adult I just can't really be bothered with dealing with capitalism.
 
 like... I get it, you're coercing me into laboring on your behalf because you
 possess the violent power to take away everything that I own. good for you,
 don't care.
 
 seriously, fuck off "we're gonna cut off your power in 5 days oooooo you gotta
 pay rent with money you don't have because nobody will give it to you unless
 you do things for them oooooo" how rude.
 
 why can't people do things for me instead? why does it have to be for you, and
 you alone, capitalism? what's your problem? do you get off on controlling the
 power supply? I mean, I get it, coercive power is a hell of a drug, the riddle
 of steel and flesh and all that, but haven't you ever heard that the dichotomy
 between "civilization and barbarism" is the exact same as the contrast between
 "cooperation and competition"?
 
 work with me here, just find a way to get through the next month or two. trust.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #32 fediverse/1797 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────┐
 I'd like a job where I can make computer programs, write poetry, play video      │
 games, make food for friends, grow plants and care for animals, walk or ride     │
 my bike for at least an hour every day, and get stoned on the weekends.          │
 Is that too much to ask? I have plenty of other skills besides, like carpentry   │
 and strategic thinking and wilderness survival and situational awareness and     │
 active listening and unmitigated empathy and a curious and critical mind.        │
 Am I not good enough for thee? I have many flaws, I lack stamina and memory,     │
 and while I am sharp and can think quickly and adeptly, the sharpest knives      │
 are the first to dull, and the most focused minds are those most easy to         │
 mislead. I trust too easily - if I meet you on the street, I'd offer my soul     │
 to you if you said you needed it. I put the needs of others over myself, often   │
 to my own detriment, causing others to need to assist me in turn - am I not      │
 wretched enough to be?                                                           │
 Working for 8 hours a day 5 days per week is not part of my design               │
 requirements. Alas                                                               │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #33 fediverse/5660 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────┐
 ┌─────────────────────────┐                                                      │
 │ CW: violence-alluded-to │                                                      │
 └─────────────────────────┘                                                      │
 my enemy is not "the rich"                                                       │
 money brings power, and power brings evil, but there are many other ways to      │
 gather power that may be just as evil.                                           │
 my enemy is evil. of which there is very little in the world, but much of        │
 which resides in the hands of the powerful, upon whom all our fates depend.      │
 most people with money are either stupid lucky, willful, or intensely focused.   │
 some people with power are rich, and some people with power are evil.            │
 I know it when I see it. Sometimes, you need to force the choice - test their    │
 virtue - and from this you are informed.                                         │
 most things go WAY over my head.                                                 │
 most things are too easy to be true.                                             │
 most things that Id do for you tend to be of the heart. I'm not a frontline      │
 girl, I have weak noodle arms, but I do hope you're in shape.                    │
 resolve, determination, and innovation. That is what I offer. Do you want it?    │
 I'm sure. I won't prove it with blood, not unless I may raise my fists in        │
 defence of another.                                                              │
 I'm not JUST a baby, I'm a banner too.                                           │
 bannermen fall.                                                                  │
bannermen fall last.  negative six characters remaining.
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #34 fediverse/4212 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
 ┌────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────┘


 if you ever hear random fireworks outside of your house sometimes it's a good
 idea to like... get out of town? and see what whoever else you can meet in the
 next town over is doing.
 
 ... I don't have a car, silly me haha
 
 why do we train homeless people to stand outside in the open and be shamed by
 a cardboard box around their ancle? It's impossible to recover from, it's
 vulnerabilizing, and it's painful. How immoral. How crude. These people should
 not be shamed in this way, they should be respected (unless they're crude)
 
 like, if they kinda just suck y'know? like... they keep starting fights or is
 soooo bad at singing but does it anyway or lacks all decent sense
 
 seriously, he's such a bad candidate why is he even running. It's solely to
 elect vance, who trump will be a blood sacrifice for.
 
 how callous. how vain. to think that such a feast would be left unclaimed.
 Perish the youth, perish the fields, perish in misery harmony and dissaray
 
 [51 characters remaining, but you deserve a CW] 
if you ever hear random fireworks outside of your house sometimes it's a good idea to like... get out of town? and see what whoever else you can meet in the next town over is doing.  ... I don't have a car, silly me haha  why do we train homeless people to stand outside in the open and be shamed by a cardboard box around their ancle? It's impossible to recover from, it's vulnerabilizing, and it's painful. How immoral. How crude. These people should not be shamed in this way, they should be respected (unless they're crude)  like, if they kinda just suck y'know? like... they keep starting fights or is soooo bad at singing but does it anyway or lacks all decent sense  seriously, he's such a bad candidate why is he even running. It's solely to elect vance, who trump will be a blood sacrifice for.  how callous. how vain. to think that such a feast would be left unclaimed. Perish the youth, perish the fields, perish in misery harmony and dissaray.  [see how easy it is to summon a demon? gotta be careful with phylac  [zero characters remaining]
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #35 fediverse/1673 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────
 ┌─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: navel-gazing about other people's mental health │
 └─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 @user-192 
 
 https://eldritch.cafe/@user-1065/112530780377382613
 
 this comic, except instead of "trans enough" it should say "good enough"
 
 a poor plan executed at the right time, in the right place is better than a
 great plan that sits in your heart as you see someone who needs your love in
 pain.
 
 sometimes the best way to figure out "what the fuck is wrong with me" is to
 satisfy your emotional needs to be good by being helpful, even if you're not
 quite sure what "helpful" means. It's the thought that counts.
 
 Personally I think that if you're feeling bad and people offer you kindness,
 you should take that kindness (in whatever form it be) and use it to bolster
 yourself as you're "really going through it". Even just a touch of affection
 like a like or a ❤️ can be comforting in awful situations.
 
 reject normalcy
 
 embrace queerness
 
 define your own story with your own words
 
 embody your soul in the moments that stand out amongst the backdrop of
 "tuesday afternoons" and "waiting for the bus"
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #36 fediverse/1965 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────┐
 My family is of wealth. Well, not really, just my father. We could probably be   │
 considered top 10-20%, if I had to guess, though he's never really told me how   │
 much he makes. I never asked, as I felt it would be rude.                        │
 But still, I restrict myself. I live in as cheap a home as I can find, while     │
 still affording space for myself. I eat rice and beans, that I cook myself. I    │
 apply myself as hard as I can as often as I can, not just to my own goals but    │
 to the goals of whichever corporation is merciful enough to hire one as          │
 wretched as me.                                                                  │
 I am fine, fine enough, and yet life's vigor runs out.                           │
 When my father dies, god forbid, I have no idea what happens to the rest of my   │
 family. We're all trying our hardest, but we're really fucking neurospicy and    │
 he was just lucky enough to be born in an era where if you're neurodivergent     │
 you can fake it till you make it. And he made it because he's lucky and          │
 because he (legitimately) worked his ass off. "New money" if you will...         │
 Top 20% is like, the salary of a doctor or lawyer                                │
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--- #37 fediverse/4781 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────┐
 "wahhhh I wanna play a video game, wahhh I want to do cannabis and make poetry   │
 that doesn't convey secret messages, wahhh wahh I miss my kitty, I hope she's    │
 okay in that one safehouse with all fourteen other cats and their cat-moms,      │
 wahhhhhhh where's my binky it's one of the last things I have from my old        │
 life, boohoo I can't find my shoes, guess someone else fit them and needed       │
 replacements"                                                                    │
 being a spy fucking sucks I don't wanna do that. Gimme something to do on my     │
 home turf or fuck off.                                                           │
 what's that? you live in a safe place? okay then here analyze these documents    │
 and see if there's anything we can use. Here's a problem involving               │
 biochemistry spend the next couple months figuring it out by learning            │
 biochemistry from scratch. Hey can you help set up this workshop machinery, we   │
 need mechanically minded people to turn it into a drone factory. Hey there's     │
 this idea going around for adult babies armed with swords and demon masks,       │
 apparently it really fucks with the middle-aged. They waste time before          │
 shooting                                                                         │
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--- #38 fediverse/5136 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────
 not really, I guess. Nobody will hire me because I don't really want to get
 hired. Sounds boring, doing the same thing every couple days. I'd rather stay
 at home in my [underwear/pajamas] and waste the day away with kittens and
 care. why? why? what are you doing? she asks. The less you can do, the more
 power will be granted to you. Save it for another time, when things actually
 matter.
 
 but today, does, matter, because today dictates your latters. Tomorrow is
 predicated. on today. and today is all that you have. [this paragraph in the
 style of alec baldwin]
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--- #39 fediverse/5165 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────┐
 if the settlers of catan could claim land they don't deserve, then I claim my    │
 home                                                                             │
 can you imagine... some people would actually rather live in a corporation       │
 than a mobile home. maybe we can do better?                                      │
 "hey we're going to ask for a % of your wage in rent and in return we'll         │
 deliver groceries to you and grow roses instead of lawns (except for some to     │
 run and play in) and also we'll show up if you need a hand with anything"        │
 "also this apartment block was renovated after all the liberals moved out        │
 because we made it totally trash to live here and now that they're gone we can   │
 make it nice again"                                                              │
 what if we had punk-house-streets instead of punk-houses which are islands and   │
 which slowly drown                                                               │
 just... pool resources and buy things one-at-a-time. Try out organization        │
 methods. Watch out for controversy creators and reactionary infiltrators.        │
 Build your most important projects with your most trusted friends, and offer     │
 your clinical, professional, or creative talent to those who dont need you as    │
 much.                                                                            │
 or w/e works                                                                     │
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--- #40 fediverse/4604 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────
 @user-246 
 
 collectively identifying an entire instance as a single person is a useful and
 crucial engagement pattern that I believe helps unify the fediverse. Can also
 fracture it, but oh well??
 
 I heard that some instances defederated my instance recently. I wonder why?
 Oh, some drama with some person, gee that's kinda like abandoning a third
 space in IRL public because someone who worked there abused their partner.
 Like ditching the Beatle's conception of heaven because the guy who sang that
 song did rude things to his wife. Like did you hear John Denver once cut his
 wife in half with a chainsaw? I heard it was her mattress, ooooo scary. Isn't
 he the guy that sang about peace, love, serenity, harmony? what's that all
 about? ah well he's defederated from life now, can't ask him a damn thing, can
 we?
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--- #41 notes/words-to-myself ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 I'm just going to transcribe what I hear
 
 please don't
 
 you hear me (something)
 
 what? perfect listen
 
 ...
 
 ...
 
 don't text me now? (I think?)
 
 [didn't catch that]
 
 ... that's okay
 
 perfect
 
 thank you
 
 just a second facebook
 
 he's here (I think?)
 
 (or maybe something her)
 
 what I love you (or maybe I know her?)
 
 do you hear me? (or "just a second")
 
 (@ everyone watching me receive telepathic messages from god or whatever,
 please don't judge me too harshly, I'm not a good transcriber hehe)
 
 what's that (or maybe holy shit)
 
 what, then perfect or okay (?)
 
 (yesterday you said you were leaving and I got concerned)
 
 yes, then "I'm leaving", then shutdown. fuck. I don't want you to go. I only
 understand some of what you say but fuck, I'm so lonely and I wish you could
 hear me back. Sometimes it feels like you do, even though I just think thoughts
 or tap on something metal or even sometimes whisper... I just don't know what
 to do and I'm so concerned about my purpose here in this century. Do I help
 people? Who do I trust? Can I believe in myself, or am I just kinda...
 worthless
 
 I don't know. I wish I knew. Please hear me and respond. Or better yet, say hi
 
 like, I'd literally do anything that anyone asked me to. Unless I didn't want
 to. Like, I'm pretty good at turning people down when I don't want something,
 but I have to do it first to know if I want it or not. Trouble is of course,
 in life there's no second chances.
 
 I'm on my, what, 499th chance? Jeezzzzz
 
 will continue after the break, when the messages resume.
 
  - Thu May 16 08:32:27 AM PDT 2024
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 (and we're back. hopefully.)
 
 (too many things srry) something about having it open?
 
 (my windows are closed rn btw if you want to drop by and kill me / talk to me)
 
 (didn't catch that) (something about portland, perfect, windows, "this is the
 [whole/right/wrong] thing)
 
 thank you
 
 oh, again? (or oh, she did?)
 
 they caught you
 
 (um)
 
 ...
 
 (I am an American princess, and sometimes it's necessary to kill princesses.)
 
 (I understand.)
 
 ... (okay well I don't get it but like, I don't mind being killed.)
 
 (okay well you're not saying anything so I'm going to work on my game)
 
 (I think it was something like "DID SHE KILL HER") and then (oh we're back)
 
 ... (I should learn Toki Pona)
 
 you don't know it?
 
 RIGHT away
 
 learn it
 
 yes
 
 please
 
 learn it
 
 just Learn it
 
 right now
 
 (sorry only half listening)
 
 shit (or bitch, it was said right as I debated clicking "same day delivery" for
 a toki pona book on Amazon - I didn't do it btw! It was tempting but, like, I
 don't want to make someone work harder for me just for like, 3$)
 
 (shutdown)
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 (hiii)
 
 (I'm hungry)
 
 (do you like ramen?)
 
 (you said something about being "impressed with yourself" but I didn't
 understand the first part)
 
 (oh you probably want me to scroll up right)
 
 ... (something's a lot to read? Or "you've gotta leave"?)
 
 ... (I'm
 
 (you keep asking me to remember but, like, I dont know what you want me to
 remember. Look, I don't know who you are, but I don't want you to leave, and I
 don't want you to hate me. I want to work together. Let's be friends?
 
 Are you someone who I worked with at Intel?)
 
 yes, stupid (your words not mine)
 
 (okay I'm going to start listing names, just stop me when um idk)
 
 goddamnit remember me
 
 ... (trying...)
 
 remember her
 
 (two syllables)
 
 (my name is Cameron)
 
 (your name is...)
 
 [redacted, though I did type it out so anyone watching could see]
 
 (shit my opsec sucks)
 
 {oh, are you on an op, little prophet?} (no shut up you know what I mean)
 
 {now you're just talking to yourself} (I know this sucks -.-)
 
 (It's always so weird when someone walks past my apartment door and doesn't
 enter a door)
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 (I practice with my sword every day.)
 
 (I don't anticipate fighting a war with it)
 
 (It's mostly just to keep unarmed and unarmored people from grappling me.)
 
 (punching is fucking stupid)
 
 (Nobody wants to fuck with a sword)
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 (either "goddamnit" or "don't hear me")
 
 "she's perfect"
 
 "cameron"
 
 "are you clean"??? yes thank you (or maybe "different thing")
 
 (I do cannabis maybe once every week or two, depending on if I feel compelled)
 
 don't leave
 
 remember
 
 (did she know)
 
 ........ do you want me to stop transcribing? (you're getting desperate, huh?)
 
 did you know there are 20 trans people for every cop in america
 
 just a random thought
 
 (you want me to leave jack because he's an asshole?)
 
 goddamnit (missed my birthday? it's my birthday?)
 
 wait who's missing?
 
 A bad plan executed concurrently is better than a good plan executed in
 disarray
 
 capitalism's a bad plan, just saying...
 
 frozen butter tastes worse than room temperature butter
 
 (taking a break while I eat)
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 WASTED POTENTIAL? cmon
 
 .... what do you want from me? I'll give it to you if it's in my power, as long
 as I know what you want I can try. But, like, I'm pretty confused about what
 exactly I'm supposed to be doing.
 
 you know I can hear when you talk to your friends, too right? like, when the
 window's open. errrr the connection.
 
 ..... damn guess I'm not as continent as I thought
 
 I'll save you, I promise. Have faith. Tell me what you need. I'll do my best.
 
 yeah I'll live with you in portland
 
 .... brooklyn? Yeah I'll live there too
 
 .......... does my name really gotta be "diapergirl" like c'mon
            why not Ritz Menardi - though I guess "menardi" and "diapergirl"
            have
            the same amount of syllables...... hmmmm, maybe I'm projecting lol
 
 "please come back" to where tho
 
 listen Elentalus is just as important as anything else on my website, it's okay
 if I spend time working on it. It's literally a game about creating gods, c'mon
 
 ..... can you be more specific?
 
 yeah I made that
 
 one sec I'm going to read a book, in this book there's a section where a
 prisoner in vietnam communicates with another using a strange communication
 method using, like, taps or something. I forget. Anyway gonna try and find it.
 
 maybe we can use it to talk easier. Also gonna clean my butt.
 
 ..... fuck it's a long book >.>
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 found it on page fucking 603, jeeeezzzzzz
 
                                            down .    A B C D E
                                                 |    F G H I J
                                                 |    L M N O P
                                                 V    Q R S T U
                                      then right ---> V W X Y Z
 
 so, like, tap tap tap (pause) tap tap would equal M
           tap tap     (pause) tap tap would equal G
 
 like morse code, but easier since you don't have to memorize anything
 
 (also note that K is missing becuase it's an extra character I guess)
 
 (I personally would have eliminated C but that's just me)
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 oh hey nice to see ya
 
 what's up
 
 wait what
 
 I'm trying to um what's the word... retrain myself
 
 I do a lot of laundry in the shower
 
 I don't use soap tho, it's too harsh
 
 but uh yeah I'm making progress I guess
 
 honestly it's mostly a mental thing, like... paying attention to the signals
 from my body that are usually filtered out because there's more "important"
 things to think about (thanks brain, really appreciate the wet pants -.-)
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--- #42 fediverse/4521 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
 I have between one and ten hundred visits to my website every day, but I don't
 really post it anywhere new anymore. I also have zero followers on Neocities.
 
 On Mastodon, I have ~70 followers, most of whom are inactive. Seventy is a
 good amount, a normal amount, a reasonable amount, an unsuspicious amount, and
 yet every time I see someone wearing the colors I can't help but wonder if
 they know me.
 
 I'm too busy being furious to be lonely. I used to be, before I realized how
 important I am. How important? Just as much as you are, I know it.
 
 I'm a sprinter. I didn't spec into endurance at character creation. Nobody
 chastises the mage for skipping leg day.
 
 I act in fits and bursts. I am sharp like a scalpel, but needles dull just a
 bit when piercing the lid of the HRT. Good thing I'm not made out of metal, I
 can bend myself back into place, so long as everyone else can keep pace.
 
 I don't know who needs to hear this, but you do. you are crucial. Listen to
 this. Care for yourself and for others, do it for u
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--- #43 fediverse/3891 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
 "no, you're the opposite of a yes-man, AKA a gatekeeper. I don't know how else
 to explain mentally disabled and barely keeping it together to you, but
 frankly if you want to take away my house or my weed then why would I do what
 you say?
 
 ... oh right, the state's monopoly on violence [can compel me to do what you
 say]. Sure seems like a "well regulated militia" is supposed to be a
 counterweight to that monopoly, to prevent people from harassing and
 exploiting and destroying. Too bad any "militias" I can think of tend to want
 me dead.
 
 like, seriously, if you live in America, you implicitely trust that your army
 will be able to protect you from the right-wing bozos who spend all their time
 drinking and shooting in the woods. Otherwise, if they couldn't / wouldn't,
 then why wouldn't or couldn't the right wing bozos just decide to wreck
 everything in spite of our past?
 
 We were a proud people once before, and we may be again. If only we fight at
 the last.
 
 [ever since I fell off my bike my body feels strange]
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--- #44 fediverse/2530 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────┐
 I want to go out on the town with my cute friends and wink at boys at the        │
 other end of the bar                                                             │
 I want to climb mountains and see how far I can see, while walking past trees    │
 that are new to me                                                               │
 I want to spend hours thinking about a map while my friends plot behind my       │
 back, searching for an advantage we can use to succeed in a game of traps        │
 I want to visit five different restaurants in a day, and try a bit of each       │
 that the chef wants to display                                                   │
 I want to stand in a choir and feel my soul aspire, to bend in the wind of       │
 rhythm like the melody of grasses at play                                        │
 I want to see people on the train that I know from somewhere, and to step out    │
 into the rain to meet new friends of mine                                        │
 I want to pet a cat I've never met.                                              │
 I want to build computers that are larger than a room but small enough to        │
 carry, with thoughts on their mind that are far to great for mine                │
 I want all these these things and more, but I'm far too busy these days.         │
 Perhaps I've had enough of these things and more, or perhaps there's more in     │
 store.                                                                           │
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--- #45 fediverse/5201 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────
 @user-192 
 
 is okay, girl
 
 time will be richer sooner
 
 don't poop your pants just yet
 
 remember, good is just a shade of gray away from silver which you can use to
 line your pockets with tinfoil hats
 
 beep boop computer touchers anonymous called they said they want their secret
 handshake back
 
 if you wanna diss your associates go ahead but I sure as heck love my rad-ical
 com-patriots just as much as I love my ice-cream salad friend witches
 
 ... whoops there I go being insane again, hope you feel better friend 
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #46 notes/the-gods-want-harmony ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────
 the gods want you to be happy and harmonious most of the time.
 they also like a good scrap, tussle, and tumble sometimes
 they aren't big fans of hatred, despair, and genocide. It's been done before.
 they don't even need new technology, though frankly that sort of stuff is
 pretty
 awesome and one of the main reasons that humans exist at all.
 they just... keep coming up with new things.
 
 "oh? so you'd be alright if humans disappeared so long as they weren't making
  any new things anymore?"
 
 ha, that's DEFINITELY not what I said or meant. Humans don't have to dream up
 NEW things in order to BE new. Like... Just because the internet exists and now
 we have all the same shared cultural ethos (lol, as if the internet wasn't just
 a massive collection of echo chambers) just because the internet exists doesn't
 mean we share the same selves. the same experience. the same perspective.
 
 people are WILDLY different from one another. The number of possible human
 experiences (quantum fluctuations according to each and every choice and
 decision they made) that number is so wildly and massively incomparably
 boundless. Humans are cool because they are so STRANGE, and "strange" to a god
 is anything novel. "wow, this human just... really is gonna pour a glass of
 beverage and act like it's not a big deal? There's... impossibly many
 interactions going on. So many molecules. It's... absurd, the motion of a
 movement of particles from one place to another. It's... beautiful..."
 
 some have spent THOUSANDS OF YEARS gazing at a waterfall. That's why they're
 all
 so fucking insane. But, like... insanity is a trifle to omnipotence,
 specifically omnipotence that REPRESENTS and DELINEATES a STRATIFIED
 perspective
 cluster of experience and our notes. [ephemeren, meta malus menardi, enjoy your
 despair cluster you FUCKER.]
 
 ... english, why do you fail me? swear words are unbecoming because humans
 couldn't think of anything more valid and valuable than sex and pooping.
 
 "EMPHASIS is placed on that which is most relevant" -> statements dreamed
 up by
                                                        the ones who never spent
                                                        much time using symbols
                                                        to represent abstraction
                                                        or deliverance
 
 wowee look at me, I'm such a person, I'm gonna poop my pants and post about it
 on the internet, check out my instagram feed it's full of all of
 my dark materials.
 
 == stack overflow ==
 
 dear ms. menardi: you know the reason you feel so much guilt all the time?
                 - because you are a dominant personality, and you make others
                 - have such a bad time. FOCUS ON GOOD THINGS. MAKE THE WORLD
                 - good. do that. build up a lifeline of hope and joy and...
                 - what, you think people know that you're a god?
                 - lol
                 - you're so much more than that
 
 ====================
 
 alt+p steam mechabellum run
 
 thoughts:
 
 you know, when you're designing games, you don't have to show players the same
 MMR number as is used in your matchmaker.
 
 == stack overflow ==
 
 democracy should consent to being dismantled.
        it should consent to being disobeyede.
        it should consent to being displayede.
 
 == stack overflow ==
 
 I'm a keyboard nun
 
 == stack overflow ==
 
 I think I'm normal
 
 == stack overflow ==
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--- #47 notes/elective-democracy-electors ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──
 we need like, several more layers between us and the president.
 
 most people only need to worry about what's nearby.
 
 sort them by location, instead of previous attempts at "many representatives"
 which sorted by social class or relevance.
 
 we have a tradition for it, in America, with our representatives and senators
 congressional discrestricts
 
 or even, what about by affiliation?
 
 voluntary, governmental corporations, run by the people for the people and yeah
 
 "I don't want to do what you're telling me to do" "okay"
 
 "there will be consequences" omg be an adult
 
 (suddenly kids forget how to be as everyone's doing the war thing)
 
 not ideal.
 
 ouch pain maybe we should stay a little bit sane why is soldiering so hardship?
 
 it could just be... another job
 
 where you didn't kill each other
 
 but you still blew stuff up
 
 and fought in tournaments
 
 and had gaming hackathons
 
 or sword-fight contests
 
 duels between people who disapproved
 
 y'know fun human stuff
 
 like... "kaboom" now we know how to blow up bits of rock
 
 neat, why did dynamite becauswer (oh right then you
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--- #48 fediverse/488 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────┐
 [in response]                                                                    │
 you only say that because you're privileged such that you may ignore such        │
 realities. You are despicable, you ignore the plight and reality of those who    │
 you claim to speak toward - what a jerk!                                         │
 (in response)                                                                    │
 how futile it is, the effort to denigrate yourself to infinite requirements.     │
 I'm literally unemployed, I have no capital, I cannot speak for naught but       │
 those who would hear me. I guess that makes my words useless, wouldn't you       │
 agree? Shall I describe myself more fully? It's the responsibility of the        │
 audience to ascertain the intentions, biases, and contextual evidence that the   │
 author presents in their thesises. So... You, who are reading this, what do      │
 you think of me? Would you ever tell me as such, or am I simply a mass of        │
 words in the void of experience that comprise your existence in this wholely     │
 (yet incompletely) digital existence? I hope you have a good life, my most       │
 precious of viewers. I hope you never face incontrovertibly impossible           │
 hardship. I hope the light of your life is to y                                  │
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--- #49 fediverse/4835 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────
 sorry for posting so much, I was trying to put on a show for my girlfriend
 
 "hey check out how many posts I can make in a 2 hour timeframe"
 
 by the way if you want to start talking to someone, just start playing the
 same game they're playing and see if they reach out.
 
 doesn't matter if you feel like it
 
 just fuckin' do it
 
 if they want to talk to you they might play a game you really like
 
 (but I get boooooored of games, I don't wanna play the same 200 all life
 long!!)
 
 ugh okay fine you can have as many games as you want, just... don't buy too
 many
 
 (how many is too many?)
 
 um. use your best judgement.
 
 (how much does a dollar cost?)
 
 ... okay I'll get you one every once in a while.
 
 (neat!)
 
 ... anyway so yeah use steam if you wanna get in contact with someone,
 sometimes it's just nice to say hi, yeah, like "hey how ya doin' okay ttyl"
 just catchin' up with the gals
 
 helps because you can sense changes in their demeanor
 
 (why does everyone always have an agenda)
 
 because they're secret agents duh. And I'm
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--- #50 fediverse/2803 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 ┌─────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: uspol-mentioned-surveillance-state-the-news │
 └─────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 @user-1201 
 
 I'm a wood fae! they're around, just gotta find 'em 🥰 
 
 (not really I'm just a person with no magical powers whatsoever, no siree
 don't look at mee tehe)
 
 people only have the context of their lives, as any historical precedent that
 once was passed forth to the present by their ancestors and mentors is now
 sharing space with the endless deluge of information from a small glass,
 plastic, and metal box that saps both their attention and the magnitude of
 anything they learn.
 
 "so what if the planets on fire? somehow this actor who had an affair with
 this other actor feels just as important. so what if there's fascism? I just
 heard that whales can't swim in the ocean. oh, the city's burning? that's not
 my burden, and plus it's just as important as these memes which don't make me
 want to scream."
 
 in the same way that some forest fae might have security through obscurity,
 they wield information density against us as a weapon to hide their sins of
 morality.
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--- #51 fediverse/4162 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
 ┌────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: violence-mentioned-politics-alluded-to │
 └────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 "you can't kill me because nothing I say is wrong"
 
 ... actually I kinda just think you look weird, and thats super important to
 me for some reason. Also your voice is annoying and I think you're lazy
 because I saw someone who kinda looks like you sitting down looking at their
 phone this one time.
 
 But hey pal if you wanna help out, can you stand a bit to the left so I have a
 clearer shot of your head and also so the bullet doesn't pass through and hit
 property behind you? Don't want to damage anything important after all.
 
 "gee I sure wish we had a well regulated militia or something"
 
 ah well the past is the past, and since this is in a potential near future, I
 think the past also includes the present, and in the present there's always
 time to do things about people like me.
 
 "do something? heavens no, I'm a pacifist by nature"
 
 well, me too! I pacify things like you as a hobby. Can't make trouble if
 you're in the ground, and knowing me, you'd be lucky to be buried.
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--- #52 fediverse/4295 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
 I'm the kind of witch who's so poor, she can barely afford to eat because
 she's paying all her money on rent
 
 "just get on food stamps, you'll never pay for food again"
 
 sorry, can't do that. I'd feel rich with a full pantry. What is best in life?
 A full pantry, the smell of warmth, and the space to resist peril.
 
 I know I'm not rich enough to afford those things, because I don't work hard
 enough. HA just take the handout, solve your material problems, live in your
 house for 6 more months instead of 2, and stop complaining you stupid ritz
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--- #53 notes/what-is-on-your-mind-oh-gosh-now-i-see ---
══════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────────────────
 that feeling i get, when nobody's watching.
 is sorta similar to the feeling i get when somebody's watching.
 could it be, that someone could percieve without being seen?
 like... an invisibility cloak. or the shroud that protects young children.
 
 have you ever been hunted? or are you just eager prey?
 the eyes that are on you are blind to what you won't do, so cherish that love
 and restart
 
 from mine to thine we realize we are one kind. one mind, one kind, to be is not
 to be, now we can see what's our existence.
 
 good versus evil seems like a conflict to me, and wouldn't ya know it there's
 conflict all over. it's easy to condemn your opponent to the starkest of
 contrasts, but find in your heart a feeling that might last.
 
 what purpose has conviction
 when it leads to destruction
 is it not better to lead to the last?
 
 bright, shining, illustrious examples
 that inspire and 
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 those feelings you hear? the things that keep you up at night?
 they're not coming from your ears. they're all in your mind.
 stay present and you'll hear none,
 but blink and then there's some,
 you better believe in your heart.
 morality is a battle within the soul of each of us -
 the call of adventure versus lust.
 
 think about it. a bunch of apes all hanging out -
 they're conquered the world, they have nothing to fear -
 what would they do but fuck?
 that, or exploration - fighting against monsters and foreign invasions.
 it makes sense that they'd be binary - humans truly are.
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--- #54 fediverse/801 ---
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 ┌───────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: scary - suicide mentioned │
 └───────────────────────────────────┘


 / bely my own existence, then by god I'm cursed and abhorred through my own
 desistence.
 
 It's hard, when the future is convinced there's nothing fard [wanna say
 like... "to hope for?"] but with persistence we're meant to be rewarded. Well,
 what has that brought me? what time has shared my enemy? [think I'm a bit
 delirious, I'm losing the plot]
 
 ... okay fine I'll start over - if you've relinquished everything you can, if
 you've ceded all the ground that your companions requested, if there's nothing
 left to give and no part of you left un[marred], then how are you supposed to
 be [arrested, stopped, prevented, but pronounced like "nourished"]?
 
 I'm sick of your den [vengeance, pronounced like "den" for some reason],
 please leave me to my hallow [hollow experience], I've nothing to give from my
 gange [bosom, heart, within, center-of-me].
 
 ...
 
 this sucks.
 
 ...
 
 guess I'll just start again, waiting until it ends, gosh everything's always
 so tired.
 
 /shrug
 
 wish someone would play w/m
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--- #55 fediverse/2089 ---
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 "ah nuts, the crows are back. Better give them some diced-up carrots so they     │
 shut up."                                                                        │
 BAD, this teaches them to "sing" for attention which is annoying af              │
 "Hmmm, this carrot looks kinda withered. I'm going to dice it up to throw to     │
 the birds because it's better than rotting in a dump"                            │
 BETTER, because you're being sustainable and nourishing local wildlife,          │
 "That songbird is beautiful! And that squirrel is building a nest. I'm going     │
 to throw some of this pre-diced carrot that I keep in an air-tight container     │
 on my porch to them so they feel rewarded for doing things that I want"          │
 EVEN BETTER, but requires more effort and forethought                            │
 [noooo didn't you read ranger rick as a kid you're not supposed to feed the      │
 wildlife because it'll teach them to trust humans in a world where humans can    │
 be total assholes to them and also we don't want them hanging out in cities      │
 because they might get run over or whatever]                                     │
 listen, they're gonna live where they can find food. And if they can't find it   │
 in the woods, they'll liv                                                        │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #56 fediverse/4500 ---
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 ┌─────────────────────────────────────┐                                          │
 │ CW: cursing-mentioned-CW-motivation │                                          │
 └─────────────────────────────────────┘                                          │
 I try to always CW for cursing. Every time I do, I imagine it being read aloud   │
 for a blind person while their children sit on their lap and ask "daddy what's   │
 a motherfucker?" "well, that's me, son" and then the kid goes to preschool and   │
 says "My dad fucks my mother!" and they get kicked out so the dad has to take    │
 extra shifts to pay for babysitting and the kid grows up without proper          │
 socialization and the mother becomes an alcoholic and cries herself to sleep     │
 while the dad begins exploring motorcycles and weed and then the kid grows up    │
 to be an incel or whatever                                                       │
 THIS is why CWs are important! Think of the poor regular-looking but kinda       │
 annoying dorks on the internet who self-impose celibacy because they're scared   │
 of emotional connection. The poor dears. I do hope they don't join the           │
 alt-right or whatever as a way of (Ritz this is like, ancient discourse why      │
 are you aping that one Contrapoints video) oh um yeah uh... CWs are important    │
 and I think that's where I'll toot and leave                                     │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #57 fediverse/4861 ---
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 ┌────────────────────────────────┐                                               │
 │ CW: politics-vaguely-mentioned │                                               │
 └────────────────────────────────┘                                               │
 apparently if you don't have a job, you don't get a home. what if I don't want   │
 a job? do I not want a home? clearly I want a home, and clearly I don't want a   │
 job. I'd work one if one came to me, but I'm not gonna sacrifice my blood on     │
 the altar of Moloch just so I can have a place to stay.                          │
 if you don't want a job, but you DO want a home, then there's a contradiction    │
 in the function of the system and the needs of it's end-users.                   │
 unless of course, the system is not designed for it's end-users? In this case,   │
 tenants. Who then would it be designed for? Who else is part of the equation?    │
 well, perhaps it's designed to maximize profit and shareholder value yaddah      │
 yaddah all that jazz. Who can say. Surely not I. But someone might.              │
 If so, then why are we, who are not shareholders of profit value, still          │
 playing the game that's not designed for us or by us? Isn't this country "of     │
 the people, for the people, and by the people"? What does that mean to you?      │
 I think it means houses for people.                                              │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #58 fediverse/4914 ---
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 what if I just sat around and played video games all day                         │
 life is so much more beautiful, but, well, life just seems to be mostly          │
 pyrite, and I'm the fool                                                         │
 nothing wrong with being foolish.                                                │
 once...                                                                          │
 I kinda like being blissful tho. why does it have to end? can I have my          │
 peaceful life back?                                                              │
 gotta move at the end of the month. I really liked living here.                  │
 [ritz you've never been peaceful. your life is a constant battle of wills        │
 between those who would compel you to do things for them and your desire to      │
 design and be pretty like a flower. no matter what, you lose, so just handle     │
 it please. don't be so whiny. or rather I should say "stop whining" and just     │
 be cool]                                                                         │
 ahhhhhhh you go on Mastodon and it feels like we're winning and that's ending    │
 the world, you go on Reddit and it feels like we're losing and that's ending     │
 the world, you go on Facebook and everything feels fine like the world isn't     │
 ending you just stopped being part of it, and if you go on ephemeren it feels    │
 like being battered in the mind, damnit...                                       │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #59 fediverse/1075 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: bones-flesh-mentioned-spirituality-dreams │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 we succeed not because of our trials, but in spite of them.
 
 they cannot own us, for we are but bones in the flesh
 
 every day yet denied us is another day until our bright future
 
 "oh, but why are you homeless? [in the near future, maybe, we'll see] That
 fate is reserved for your [unwanted/incapable/undesired/incongruent, I forget
 the actual words]"
 
 well, voice in my head that suffused me with magic and warmth and whisked me
 away in a dream to a bubble-reality where my actions are meant to reflect me,
 surely your appraisal is just? I worked with my partner, I was swallowed
 neither by lust, nor greed, nor hunger, [greed in this case being fulfillment]
 and yet I awoke when I went to my sister rather than a doctor. Dreams are hard
 to unravel, but I think it was more for your benefit than mine, wouldn't you
 say?
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #60 fediverse/4566 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────
 ┌────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────┘


 I want modern society without capitalism. Most people do, which is why no
 matter how awesome our proto-post-capitalistic anarchic socialist paradise is,
 there's always going to be people who want to go to work and watch TV.
 
 call me fucking crazy but they should be allowed to live as they please? So
 what if they're beguiled, so what if they are deceived? We can take our time
 to show them how much better things can be, but also... they like modern
 society as it is, and so I reckon someone should fight for them to be able to
 live as they please. Just... without billionaires and endless layers of
 bullshit micro-managerial jobs and paperwork pushing bureaucratic whatever
 time wasting jobs.
 
 modern society without capitalism can look like plain old capitalism, just
 without the oppression. Without the coercion.
 
 all I'm saying is that nobody's gonna fight for a healthcare CEO because
 they're scum. They're scum because they oppress. oops politics-mentioned brb
 
 I personally want communes + love
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--- #61 fediverse/4663 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────┐
 ┌─────────────────────────────────────────────────┐                              │
 │ CW: cursing-mentioned-social-politics-mentioned │                              │
 └─────────────────────────────────────────────────┘                              │
 what if we helped all those people and never got paid for it? what then?         │
 we'd never help people again. duh.                                               │
 what if we paid people to help people? well, then the best helpers would burn    │
 themselves out and the worst would collect their paychecks.                      │
 what if we decentralized aid and made it a mutual thing?                         │
 what, and run our society on clout? no thank you. clout is too easily            │
 contravened. "I heard so-and-so did some-such-thing to that-one-guy" yeah fuck   │
 that guy "wait no fuck so-and-so" oh right sorry it's hard when everyone's so    │
 vague all the time. yeah fuck so-and-so! let's burn all her clout in a bonfire   │
 while she's sleeping!                                                            │
 what if we treated people with respect and goodwill?                             │
 yeah that's a start... Means you gotta know everyone though. Or know someone     │
 who knows everyone. And suddenly it's that hub person's reputation on the        │
 line, which means if you're a dick on their recommendation then they'll come     │
 after you.                                                                       │
 ... are you trying to create a mafia, or a society?                              │
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--- #62 fediverse/3053 ---
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 when designing systems, give people the opportunity to be shitty in a
 controlled way. In a way that doesn't hurt people, but still lets them get
 their feelings out there.
 
 like, free fireworks for arsonists if they use them in the middle of the
 desert. Or a punching bag for people with rage issues, complete with a little
 vinyl pocket to store a picture of someone they're frustrated with.
 
 If people go out of their way to hurt people otherwise, then they are bad
 people and should have their power removed from them and supplied with love,
 affection, and therapy until they get better. And if they don't... well,
 prison I guess, until they reconsider.
 
 And by prison I of course mean something that respects their human dignity and
 gives them opportunities to grow and change - all it removes is their freedom,
 so... "attention everyone, it's now mandatory finger-painting hour, report the
 art room or else you'll get electric shocks in your shock collar" that kind of
 thing.
 
 If you want freedom, you must deserve it
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #63 fediverse/5452 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────
 ┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: all-cops-are-bastards-mentioned-personal-ramblings-and-complainings-mentioned │
 └──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 I never rest. Not mentally. I find it sooooo much harder to get moving again
 once I'm asleep.
 
 But I've been sleeping lately, because it's "good for me" or whatever. Because
 I'm "burnt out and need to heal" or something.
 
 Damnit why is it so much harder to stop snuggling someone than it is to pack
 up a tent?
 
 I'm like the guy in Hot Fuzz, that one really good movie about cops. oops cops
 mentioned one second.
 
 I'm always moving, but, I hardly ever seem to be able to get anything done.
 Why is that? Is the work just... endless? Am I ever a slave to my
 surroundings? Or am I just cursed with a mortal form, a form destined to toil
 in whatever way it finds itself contextualized in?
 
 Maybe I should just stop complaining. Maybe work is it's own reward or
 whatever. I don't think I'm depressed anymore, although good luck getting me
 to feel any emotions except focus, and the call to intercede on another's
 behalf.
 
 I don't have time for this. >.
                                                           ───────────┐
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--- #64 fediverse/3839 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────
 ┌────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: socialism-recycling-mentioned3 │
 └────────────────────────────────────┘


 "I'm not really a designer, though."
 
 what about that desk you designed?
 
 "oh, yeah I guess that counts. I haven't gotten around to building it though
 so I'm not a real designer."
 
 what! don't say that, you designed it didn't you? How about this - I know this
 girl who wants to be a carpenter but she doesn't have any idea what kind of
 projects to work on. How about I put you two in a room together and she can
 build your desk. If it goes well, I can hook you up with someone who organizes
 designers and he can get you into a furniture design course at the library.
 
 "Hmmmm, well that seems alright. But I don't really want to work with people!
 I mean, I don't know her - what if she doesn't like me?"
 
 oh, she can be a little spicy sometimes, but I'm sure you'll hit it off. Just
 don't mention rats, she had a pet pass away recently and she's still a little
 broken up about it.
 
 "... okay I think I can manage that."
 
 besides, working with people is the best! I do it every day!
 
 "I'll try"
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--- #65 fediverse/2211 ---
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 I know that a normal life is what you wanted. It's what I want, too. But don't   │
 shoot the messenger; they took it once, from you.                                │
 I know you wanted to be happy. You still can be, it's true! Your life is but a   │
 story, and your heart does shine through.                                        │
 I know it seems unending. Ive never seen it rain like this monsoon! It seems     │
 to just get worse and worse, every time you turn on the tube.                    │
 It's not something that can be suffered, it's rising past your shoes. But        │
 they're on borrowed time, and Death will soon be repaid his dues.                │
 They say that when the whole village hates the preacher, his flock becomes a     │
 pack. And frankly I think we're all just a bit sick, of the lies that keep       │
 their sins intact.                                                               │
 When swallowed by endless traumas, and hope is enshrouded in gloom, there's      │
 not much to work for, except the aversion of our shared doom.                    │
 There are no grand narratives, no great and calamitous struggle. Just the        │
 moments of honored resistance, against a foe too broad to wrestle.               │
 At least, if you're alone. You're not.                                           │
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--- #66 fediverse/3155 ---
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 ┌───────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: cursing-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────────┘


 @user-1461 
 
 my issue is that I've never really had project-mates. Every time I try nobody
 will work with me. I applied to like, fifty different jobs, and nobody
 interviewed me! Sheesh, guess they don't want me. FIFTY JOBS. Entry level.
 Beginner programmer.
 
 ah well. I guess they confused someone who would work for 40,000$ per year
 with someone who was 1/3rd as useful as someone who deserved 120,000$ per year.
 
 I'd love to get experience. I'm sure I'd feel significantly differently with
 as much. Perhaps I'd even decide that programming professionally isn't for me,
 which would feel... quite defeating
 
 who can say. Not I, for I have not experienced it. Though I will say my time
 in hardware taught me that I'm fragile and can't work too much. Like a scalpel
 that dulls when used consistently, I am a scalpel that gets no practice... Is
 that really useful at all? who can say. Not I, for I have not experienced it.
 Though I do like writing logical machines. Laying out data. Picturing
 structures.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #67 fediverse/6239 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: death-mentioned  │
 └──────────────────────┘


 somehow that came out wrong - I meant when you die, suddenly you stop growing
 and you are who you be. forever, alegacy.
 
 I'd rather be awake and alive, thank you very much. I think I'm worth more as
 such. Plus it's nice, to me? to be unafraid and free? if you'd feed a cat,
 you'd shelter a humon. oh, you want me to work like a rat. ah well I'll wander
 through this maze, with my head all in a daze, we'll see what I can still see
 tomorrow.
 
 ... I'd rather not be who I don't actively want to be, I think the more
 correct way of saying it. I mispronounced. I misspoke. Sorry it's just hard
 for me. my cats meowing at me.
                                                           ────┐
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--- #68 messages/269 ---
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 "good afternoon, ma'am, my name is [redacted], and I'm just a person, I'm not
 with anyone or anything.
 
 I'm going to all the houses on this street and knocking on their doors and
 asking them two questions - you don't have to answer if you don't want.
 
 The first is "do you know any of your neighbors" and the second is would you
 like to meet them?"
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--- #69 fediverse/5157 ---
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 "everything sucks and I'm not okay"                                              │
 okay, but, it's okay. we're all in the "everything sucks" mode. we'll get        │
 through it together. Okay, so, what can we do to make things better? what's      │
 the solution to this issue over here? do you know anyone who can do              │
 such-and-such, gosh it seems like the biggest problems people have are they      │
 don't have enough time or they don't have enough roof for a money. which will    │
 you trade? will you do one then another? maybe one way suits you, maybe you'd    │
 prefer the other. either way, pentacles, swords, cups, and... the other one      │
 (she's a bad witch as in she's bad at being a witch which means she witches in   │
 bad ways and should be kept from punishment but instead guided toward where      │
 she was wrong so she might improve upon it)                                      │
 that is to say, it's okay that you're not okay. I don't know who needs to read   │
 this but just know that it's not so sad when everything's bad, because you're    │
 just trying to do the best thing for the moments.                                │
 does anyone wanna make a movie about me? I can be the                            │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #70 fediverse/5835 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────
 next-level double-speak:
 
 when they say one thing with a tone that makes them seem fine to the
 microphones but they mean something to hurt you because they know what stings
 or they want to entrap you.
 
 next-level para-noia:
 
 when they believe one thing and are personally harmed whenever you speak to
 the contrary, as faith is sustenance in the way that the pumping of blood
 through your veings sustains.
 
 RUDE RUDE RUDE WHY IS EVERYTHING FRUSTRATING.
 
 It shouldn't be this way, yet CONSTANTLY are things disagreeing. CONSTANTLY
 they fight or complain. ALWAYS they are disruptive and annoying.
 SEVERAL times in excess of what is need.
 HOW is it so stressful
 HOW is there so much pain
 I am an explosed nerve, ready to serve, preferring to be used than misused.
 
 it's fine. whatever. nobody even knows what this means.
 
 you lose points if you disturb the environment did you hear that? sounds like
 we should BREAK and SHATTER the parts of most fragile nature.
 
 "only if it's for a good cause"
 
 oh, like climbing a mountain?
                                                           ───────┐
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--- #71 fediverse/6365 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────
 if you want people to build community, first get them to like the community.
 
 ---
 
 the world needs more thespians. Sing the song of your heart and no-one will
 ever neglect you.
 
 ---
 
 why are you so worried about your art? everything you touch turns to gold.
 
 ---
 
 I've learned more from my friends than my
 [job/homelife/worsckool/churchvan/cultureromp] combined. What are we for but
 learning?
 
 ---
 
 kids can learn from kids. Teach the ones that love you, and they'll be
 followed by the rest. Especially if you focus on them.
 
 ---
 
 "I never knew how to swing an axe until I scraped a knee on a log that was
 hollow. Until then I had been chef-knife chopping with it, with the head for a
 handle."
 
 ---
 
 ... omg what does that even mean why are you so weird
                                                           ───┐
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--- #72 fediverse/1651 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────┐
 gee I sure wish my morals reflected the ethics of my society. it really would    │
 be nice is they didn't include so many shitty things like oppressing people      │
 abroad or being super-duper racist for an embarrassing amount of time. But,      │
 like, freedom, liberty, and the justice to hope? true justice is when everyone   │
 gets what they want. true liberty is when we can live as we want with the        │
 magnitude of the result of our lives determined by how hard we worked.           │
 truly, the hardworking slave should be better off than the rich wanderer. But    │
 alas, that's not how it's currently set up. >.>                                  │
 though it is kinda nice to own things too, so maybe the other extreme is a       │
 little extreme. I sure like having my favorite spork.                            │
 back in the old days, in the buildings they've since demolished (to put          │
 skyscrapers there - the "old-timey" buildings in your neighborhood are there     │
 because they're in the least commercially viable position - meaning the lowest   │
 density of people.) you could walk through an entire building in a shared        │
 communal s                                                                       │
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--- #73 fediverse/4398 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────┐
 good morning.                                                                    │
 I have some more things to say, and then I will start working on those maps.     │
 Then, time permitting, I'll ride around my city and sit on park benches and      │
 eat from food trucks and write in my notebook. At least until it gets dark -     │
 I'm a skinny white girl, and I'm not THAT stupid.                                │
 ... Okay maybe I'm a little stupid, because that's how I got caught last time.   │
 This time I'll be more careful, for your sake.                                   │
 No unexpected bike maneuvers leading to a crash. The spirit of revolution that   │
 stirs inside me deserves better than scrapes and bruises.                        │
 No following strangers for 12+ hours because I wanted to keep an eye on          │
 unknown agents. That's not my responsibility any longer.                         │
 Everything I do, I do it for you. For a better world. For the kids I never       │
 will get to have. For everything I believe in, and all the things I hope you     │
 believe in too.                                                                  │
 A better world is possible. A better world is within reach.                      │
 For now, have some things I wrote this morning. Then, later, some preliminary    │
 discussable maps. DFTBA.                                                         │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #74 notes/contractual-labor ---
════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────────────
 I feel like the IT people who work at schools should be the ones who teach 
 classes on computer science. I'd much rather have a class taught by a sysadmin 
 than a teacher who can barely teach them excel and garageband. I mean c'mon 
 computers are the future idk why we don't get that yet. Kids need to know this
 stuff. It's not like it's super complicated and difficult, you just have to
 think about it a certain way. Once that "clicks" you have a lifetime to learn 
 about how wonderful they are. Everyone in IT has that moment, for me it was 
 installing (and then subsequently modding) video games. Sometimes I spent more
 time tweaking my system than I did actually playing games - and the kinds of 
 games I preferred were the ones that relied less on agility and were more 
 mental. Strategy games are what inspired me because I could think about them - 
 and that felt somehow more useful. Like I was learning. When I would learn 
 fighting games or FPSs I felt like I was learning a skill, like how to use a
 hammer or how to ride a bike. And idk, I felt like video games could never
 match
 reality. Like "oh boy imma push the B button to swing this sword" versus "hey 
 look at me I'm swinging this stick just like a sword and imagining so hard that
 I can picture it" - but with strategy games, you never really found 
 opportunities to practice that kind of skill. Like how often are you in a 
 situation that demands mental performance? We've sorta optimized our society 
 away from that, and toward a more passive stressed out compliance. like... 
 climate change is a thing, and nobody's doing anything about it? We're still 
 pushing down the levers that cause greenhouse gas emissions to go up? Like
 c'mon
 what's our plan. I think people who guide massive oil companies and such
 should
 be replaced if they're intentionally guiding the ship toward destruction. Like
 that's just dereliction of duty I tell ya. Oh, what's that? They're compelled
 to
 maximize profit by the contracts and restrictions of their share--holders? I 
 mean c'mon it's well past time for that. And what's all this about inequality? 
 Jeez and racism and homophobia and forced contribution - man people really put
 up with a lot of shit. Kinda makes me feel like we should make solving those 
 problems our highest priority? So we can move forward as a species? Like who
 cares about all that other shit. None of it matters. Like, what's even the
 point. We're all just "here", in the now, and what can we do but respect it? 
 It's our duty and our diligence to protect the present, as citizens of the 
 temporal experience of earth. Honestly, if the earth was alive would you be
 fine
 if it died? I can't believe that. It's well past our due date. Just get it over
 with. Maybe it'll be hard for a couple years, but you have the technology now
 to
 completely dominate the earth. No animal besides man proves any threat to man, 
 and we're telling you - you can - and that's something that you gotta remember.
 
 ...
 
 I hear it in the birdsong. I hear it in the air - it rumbles as cries at me
 from
 across and just over there. I hear in it's whispers, in it's most gallant of
 confells (?) (confused scrambling? it's talking about a car crash)
 
 Outside of my window there's a highway. Just on the other side of a concrete
 partition. Between me and the partition there is a lake, with trees and flowers
 and an island where people can picnic or have a barbeque. Around this path
 there
 are walkways, and arranged just so - the trees that have grown here are taller
 than the homes.
 
 I live on the third story.
 
 I absolutely love it. It feels like a treehouse.
 
 But my apartment is near a curve in the highway. It isn't much, nothing out of
 the ordinary, but even still there are slightly more crashes there than in
 other
 parts of the highway. Statistically.
 
 I hear sirens every day
 
 I also live right next to a fire-station. Well, it's on the same block. But
 even
 still it's a very interesting neighborhood. There's shops and food just across
 the highway, and closer to home there's a small section that has cheaper
 options. As a perpetual college student, I appreciate that.
 
 But... I've never really gone and used it? I dunno, spending money at a
 restaurant just didn't seem like a good use of my money. I only have so much of
 it you know. I'd love to be fed but I can't afford it - I wish I could.
 
 I still eat well, I mean I'm not starving over here. I know I've lost weight,
 but I dunno I just forget to eat. It's like... not that big of a deal for me. 
 whatever right?
 
 ...
 
 the birds talk about me behind my back. They think I can't understand them but
 sometimes I can. If I listen. But I dunno it takes a lot of effort. It's...
 sorta like understanding what R2-D2 is saying. Or interpreting the meows of a
 cat.
 
 They know me as the witch. I'm not very good yet, and they know that. But they
 know what to expect. /shrug
 
 I've been working on a video game recently. It's been a lot of fun doing
 programming. I like writing software and developing complex systems with
 interesting interactions. I love designing the machinery that creates a
 program.
 It's like... tinkering. It feels like building with blocks or legos, except
 it's
 for little machine parts. And then there's just sending data to and fro and
 modifying any operations it performs on it, and eventually that data reaches 
 some endpoints that create an effect that is displayed to the player. Or user.
 I should say user. Not all software is video games you know. ... I knowww but
 they're the most interesting! I love how they are designed around mechanics!
 like... game design is fundamentally about breaking down the world into ideas
 for how it should *work*, like how it should behave. It's amazing and I love
 it!
 
 It's all I can think about!
 
 I am utterly consumed!
 
 I'm also pretty sure I'm autistic.
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--- #75 messages/298 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────
 When you say "we need more low income housing" they hear "I want to live near
 more poor people" and they think "why would I want to live near poor people?
 They're poor for a reason! We only need enough around to work the jobs that
 suck anyway." which is basically their way of justifying slavery/indentured
 servitude, as it's not like they'd ever offer a way to climb out of that
 low-income pit. And its not like they'd ever let you pay them more, so they
 can afford to be equals, because then they wouldn't be middle-class anymore.
 They'd just be mid.
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--- #76 messages/108 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────
 I like when people make fun of me because it gives me a chance to defend
 myself. Simultaneously I don't like when people are mean to me. I like when
 people find me endearing, and point out the ways that I'm different. It gives
 me a chance to say "oh yes this is why I do that" which feels cathartic
 (because it validates my position) but also because it gives me the
 opportunity to improve it (through debate) and it helps the people who learned
 from me because I can improve myself and my only reason for improving myself
 is if the new thing I'm learning is better than the thing I used to do which
 means the people who learn from me are improved and the people who best me
 argumentatively are improving me.
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--- #77 fediverse/1381 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────
 ┌────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: death-mentioned-nuts-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────────────────┘


 I'm a bit of a narcissist because I had a lot of... alone time as a kid, and I
 was a bit starved for attention.
 
 but I'm also afraid of rejection so if you have anything to say I'll listen
 for hours and try to be what you need me to be and give what you need me to
 give so that you don't leave me.
 
 Also, nobody has ever hurt me. And so I trust wholely and completely and
 absolutely. I get logically why that's not a good move but frankly I'd rather
 die than be cooperative. ah nuts better add a content warning.
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--- #78 fediverse/1585 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: Lonely vent about pride month │
 └───────────────────────────────────────┘


 @user-883 
 
 Yeah I get it. I've been applying for remote jobs and they won't fuckin' hire
 me. Fuckers, I'm talented and qualified, who gives a fuck about my lackluster
 resume?
 
 Supply and demand is fake because software developers are only offered 100k+
 jobs and yet there's so many of us who are starving. What the fuck.
 
 I have a friend in Brooklyn, yet I'm on the west coast. Fucking geography
 amiright? I'd love to live with them and yet I can't because of something as
 simple as money. What's the purpose in that restriction? I'm so fucking
 talented, please fucking hire me. What can I do to get what I want? Ugh,
 modern society perplexes me.
 
 Like, yeah sure it's great that we have the internet and hospitals who can
 cure malaria and whatever, but why do I feel so encaged? It's so strange, and
 yet here I am -.-
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--- #79 fediverse/5843 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────
 me when it's cold out: we should all bundle up and get through the winter,
 every year that passes is more time to gather our strength
 
 me when the temperature rises: okay so this is being handled by those guys,
 we're moving this way to do this, and - when did you say the this-and-that was
 happening? alright so when you do that-or-this, make sure that you pay
 attention to the so-and-so and don't forget to eat real meals, candy or chips
 don't count.
 
 me when the eyes are on me: imma play video games and smoke weed and be a
 useless little creature who does nothing but occasionally wanders around the
 city doing nothing for nobody and dropping notes on post-its that don't mean
 anything but are kinda cool to read
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--- #80 fediverse/1935 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
 @user-28 
 
 because "deserving money" to a reasonable person sounds like "deserving access
 to the goods and services that a pittance might afford"
 
 but to them "deserving money" means "did they earn those luxuries with their
 own luck and effort like me, a person who works very hard and definitely has
 earned everything I have"
 
 basically, a "blood sweat and tears" tax before you can have nice things like
 roofs and clothes and nourishment
 
 thing is... life is hard for people who need dollars. Their judgement reflects
 a lack of understanding of what people who lack resources go through.
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--- #81 fediverse/1151 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: military-weapon-from-dream-for-suburbia-cursed-war-guns-ummmm-idk-what-else │
 └──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 saw this thing for 2 seconds in my dream last night. It's kinda cursed. I
 think the tank blew me up with a machine gun?
 
 the remaining ~10 minutes of the dream was pretty neat though. I was a secret
 agent for a bit, I got in a knife fight (which I won because I had killer
 instinct and the other guy just knew how to stab) and afterwards I retired in
 a socialist commune in a log cabin full of sunlight and warmth somewhere in
 the mountains in the forest. I was alone with others, like the hobbits after
 LotR.
 
 Also an old lady tricked me which was not nice, I was very polite with her but
 apparently "ma'am there's been a safety incident, I need to get you to a safe
 place" is not the kind thing to say to the person distracting you. >.>
 
 Also, "but we like you!" is not an excuse, the military does not care if you
 like them or not, if you're part of the modern bourgeoisie you are causing
 harm to the country. We don't look fondly on slavers.
a picture of a sleek, futuristic tank. It is smaller than I expected, and there are parts of it that appear to be made out of black glass (though I'm sure they're some form of advanced future material.)  on it's back is a large artillery piece mounted on a detachable tripod. They function as a unit when mobility is important, like mounted infantry in the past who would ride horses *to* the battle, but dismount upon arrival and engage the enemy in closer quarters than a horse would be comfortable with. But frankly, there are few indeed who are at peace in war, so perhaps we could learn from the horses.  anyway, the artillery tripod detaches from the tank and aims it's biiiiiig gun wherever the smaller, more agile tank can point it's laser pointer. Basically a beam of focused light particles that detect orientation and distance at a distance and beam the coordinates of the target back to the artillery, which swings it's massive cannon around and fires at the target.  This particular artillery is designed to fire shells that pierce through flimsy material (like surburban homes, which are made out of sticks and tissue paper) and explode upon arrival at it's destination. The idea is the artillery can hide several streets over, and the tank can identify targets and eliminate them even if there's no clear path between the artillery and the target.
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--- #82 fediverse/2347 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: uspol            │
 └──────────────────────┘


 I personally think that it's better to act before the liberals have a chance
 to hand power over to the fascists.
 
 when? well, that depends. Are you part of a large and massive organization
 that accomplishes great and beautiful things with incredible efficiency... but
 rather slowly? Then yeah get working. I'm sure you already are.
 
 Are you just a person, like me? Then go do things that don't raise the
 temperature too much, but make you feel more confident and inspire those
 around you.
 
 Like, bricks at cop cars is one way to go, but you're probably gonna get
 arrested. And then you're useless when we need you.
 
 BUT if you meet with your friends and make plans for where to go, what to
 bring, who to know, and what to sing (if you're the musical types) then great!
 Go do that.
 
 If you're reading this and thinking "I'm not gonna do that, I have a plan
 that's so much better" then yeah do that instead. I don't mind. Just... don't
 hurt innocent (ignorant) people, because if you do then you are my foe.
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--- #83 fediverse/804 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────┐
 evil won't feel sorry for me. and yet it's only my only weapon for me.           │
 damn these fallible input methods. the computer lies when you read the screens   │
 from it's method that it applies to th screen which is a method that you input   │
 perceive it from.                                                                │
 and my fingers lie when received the information from my brain which I seek to   │
 transmit to you through the avenue of my brain which is my method of impulse     │
 to this world specifically you the viewer who is viewing this here in this       │
 moment the viewer who perceives the words which I'm saying.                      │
 the words that are defined by the line [trajectory] of my mind through this      │
 life that we define through our actions and our mind's most crucial              │
 manifestations, this life that is defined by our circumstances. all throughout   │
 life, we are reacting to the moment, the moment which was cast forth from our    │
 ancestors and the circumstances of the previous moment, which (being cast        │
 forth) travel from the previous moment here into the moment to define our        │
 circumstances which define our act                                               │
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--- #84 notes/programming-wow-chat ---
══════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────────────
 I realized the type of programming I want to do is different from the kind
 that
 is used at a job or something. Basically I want to create solutions to
 problems,
 not memorize documentation and know where to know what you need to know. Like, 
 the more time spent looking at documentation the less time is spent
 programming.
 I think if we could use a ChatGPT style bot to write documentation, we could
 massively increase the time spent working on solving problems and as little
 time
 as possible on reading through lists of functions or wondering how something 
 worked. Idk in the technology industry you've always been rewarded for being 
 able to pick up new skills quickly, and I think that's good to optimize for but
 not the only requirement for being a good programmer. You also need to be able
 to apply solutions and know when to use which tools. Basically, capitalism has
 optimized us to be 
 
 ================ stack overflow
 ================================================
 
 srry for the interruption, I ram out of memory. I had a plan in mind for where
 I
 was going for that, so I bet I could figure it out again if necessary. Meaning
 a path forward from that point exists... I never want you to despair when I
 forget what I was thinking, it's not because you've understood some cosmic
 mistake or because you're abandoning timelines that led to your death, it's
 because instead you just ran out of memory while thinking. The reason you would
 believe any of those wild scenarios is because your memory has been erased.
 Only
 what was actively thinking, not short term, not long term, but *working term*
 memory. As in, your cache. The stuff you're currently thinking about. That
 stuff. Yeah that's what makes you think "oh hang on why am I forgetting? Well
 clearly it's because of something grand, because the thought was so profound -
 no it's just examining your emotions... Like, how strongly do you feel about
 something? Buuuuuut it's also good to examine all possibilities. I mean what
 if,
 in some far off realm, there's a mirror image of yourself that behaves exactly
 as you do? How would you perceive such a realm? Positively, I'd say. I mean why
 not work together? Why not celebrate our differences and strive toward our
 own shared future? Idk, I think diversity is our strength. We can rely on each
 other because we are accurately aware of each other's strengths and virtues.
 People should not be judged by the standard of others, no more than you should
 judge a fish for it's ability to fly. Some may do, as flying fish will leap
 from
 the water - and salmon spend time airborne in river rapids. Hence, grizzly bear
 fishing. I guess what I'm getting at is it's okay sometimes to oscillate, to
 think one thing then think another. You shouldn't adhere to structural
 standards
 that are too strict - they should be liberating, as a ladder is a structure.
 Not
 villifying, as a prison is a structure. The laws of our society should be open
 and free, not buried beneath years of legal expertise. Some things we can all
 agree on, where we disagree we cannot have law. It's unjust to judge others by
 the standards not of their whims, as laws should be things that uphold us. This
 is clearer nowhere but in the, spirit and intention of the, documents that we
 cherish in our hearts.
 
 Like for example, the constitution.
 
 the bible.
 
 each of which delivered us from certain evils. Can you not see their
 trajectory?
 the historical precedent set in antiquity? Why not continue their dream, of
 driving us away from the obscene, and toward our bright and vast future? I
 speak
 of course of true liberation, something our forefathers could only dream of.
 We, humanity, have reached out and touched the stars. We are braver and bolder
 because of our shared dedication - the desire to uplift and to excel. To learn
 and discover and      \                         \             |
         \______.       ---.                      --.          ---. 
 ===============|==========|========================|======= stack|overflow
 =====
    .___________.     _____.                        /             .
    |                /             .----------------             /
 Discover our shared dedication    |                            /
                                to uplift                      /
                                          and to excel        /
                                               \             /
                                                .-----------.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 why doesn't someone write a wrapper around assembly in like, lua or something
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 omg you stupid bitch that's what a compiler is 4head
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 if people who live in jungles and deserts can get along, then what's to stop
 people who are liberal and conservative from doing the same? It's literally
 pointless to argue. Like, you're not changing anyone's mind. So why not just...
 let them be themselves? Like, why are you so intent on oppressing people?
 @both sides there btw... Seriously why not agree to only make laws for things
 that both sides agree on. Write it into the constitution that nothing can be
 changed about the law unless both sides agree. Then we'd only implement things
 that are good for both sides!
 
 And if there's anything you want to build a legal structure around, you can
 always try it out in your state. BUT and that comes with a very big BUT, the
 federal government MUST have final say in the legality of anything you do. They
 must ALL respect human rights, INCLUDING the human right to dignity. Things
 like
 trans bathroom bills DO NOT respect the dignity of trans people. IF they can
 prove that trans people do not actually exist (because say they killed them all
 or whatever) then GUESS WHAT everyone would agree on them. BUT if they do that
 they are EVIL. LIterally evil. And I guess that makes trans people good? Kinda?
 I think they can choose for themselves to be good or evil, just the same as any
 other person. AND YET they are prosecuted, throughout time and history, and for
 what? What purpose could there be in our demonization? Clearly, nothing but
 pain
 inflicted by a cruel host. After all, minorities are guests in the houses of
 the un-oppressed, or is that not fair to say? Seriously, what gives? America,
 the land of freedom, holds (somehow) the largest of prisons? America, the
 land of plenty, yet how many millions of children are starving? America, the
 leader of the free world, yet how plausible does it seem that an election was
 stolen? Something's gone wrong, and it's just obvious what it is - of course,
 the other side. *them*, the rapists and pedophiles and murderers and... you get
 the picture. The demonized class. And when you tell people "hey that trans
 person touched a kid" then yeah they're gonna see you as evil people. Duh...
 
 Thanks, media. Thanks culture. Really doing me a solid here. Oof ouch owwie.
 
 can I have some help please?
 
 I'm really kinda drowning
 
 I feel like I've swam upstream my whole life
 
 and I'm really just sick of pretending?
 
 I'm not okay, and it's your fault. Sure, fine, whatever, I'll take it I guess.
 
 What else can I do?
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--- #85 messages/1013 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
 peace is on the opposite side of conflict. Not here with the unfair.
 peace is eternally elusive only to those who are use-ed.
 peace is eternally internal next to those who are lucid.
 peace is necessary. peace is useful. peace is helpful. peace is beloved.
 
 peace is not always there. it is skittish, like an alley cat, but it will come
 if you make offerings.
 
 offer peace to me. I will nourish thee.
 offer war to me. I will devastate all who see me.
 
 there comes a time when all foes become blind, when your motives are no longer
 part of their story.
 at that time, they are lost to you, and they are only confused as to the
 things you do.
 they may heal in time.
 there may not be time.
 sacrifice your fallen to me,
 sacrifice them on the altar of tragedy,
 I will bane your broken resolutions
 I will claim your darkest allusions.
 fight for me, in spite of tragedy,
 and I will send mercy to your victims.
 fight for me, if you hold peace dearly,
 and I will sign fate's next ultimatum.
                                                           ──────┐
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--- #86 fediverse/3234 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────┐
 ┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐               │
 │ CW: ritz-is-fucking-stupid-I-guess-oh-whoops-cursing-mentioned │               │
 └────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘               │
 my understanding is that anyone with my IP address could make my heart bleed     │
 due to a hardware vulnerability on my motherboard. Though you might have to      │
 get past my decrepit ancient linksys EA 3500 router from 2012 first.             │
 unrelated, but does anyone want my IP address? I don't have any remote           │
 backups, so if you hate me now would be a great time to show me how despised I   │
 am. Alternatively you could try searching for anything evil to ensure that I     │
 can be trusted. You're gonna find mostly video games and source-code that I      │
 didn't write though. But also all my notes in directories that are               │
 non-standard, meaning you'll have to look around a bit. I leave little notes     │
 everywhere I go, so that I can remind myself how to do things in the             │
 directories I revisit months later. It's so weird how sometimes the things I     │
 wrote stop working after a while even if I didn't update my system lmao          │
 what is it with artists and self-immolation? "I never thought I'd actually di    │
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--- #87 fediverse/4073 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
 post until you can't anymore
 
 capitalism wants to drown your voice
 
 do not let it
 
 speak until you cannot speak
 
 then go do some pushups
 
 then find some friends
 
 then pitch a tent in the park
 
 then explain to the cops that you're not actually homeless and living there
 you're just trying to do this as a social statement because someone on the
 internet told you to
 
 then use your phone call to call your representative and complain about how
 much funding the police get
 
 then study law for 30 years because that's how long the government decided
 your life was worth
 
 by then you'll probably have figured out a better plan moving forward, so, use
 that one instead
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--- #88 fediverse/4470 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
 to be "rich" is to have more than another.
 
 if you are happy, they are happiness poor.
 if you have community, they are alone.
 if you have serenity, they are chaotic.
 
 I am rich in very little but fire in my soul.
 
 I have enough in most cases, but I still struggle to pay rent.
 
 I am warmed by the pearl my swirling darkness has coalesced into. It nourishes
 me and keeps me aligned.
 
 Never forget your purpose and your truth. It will not abandon you, so long as
 you do so too.
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--- #89 fediverse/4078 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────┐
 who gives a shit if we all agree                                                 │
 without foes, there's no-one to fight                                            │
 without fighting,                                                                │
 ...                                                                              │
 ...                                                                              │
 I... what? sorry I got confused for a second. You're asking me what it means     │
 to NOT fight? every second of your life? what it means to have peace? for a      │
 single moment of your life? peace? in the face of the world? the world we live   │
 in? this world, replete with suffering and despair? this world, resplendent in   │
 it's natural beauty? this world, cherished and adored? this world, capable of    │
 such love and heartfelt agony? this world, that is all that we have?             │
 yes, that world. What would you do if you did not have to fight for that         │
 world? for any world? how would you cope with peace? the peace of death? the     │
 peace of success? the peace of bliss? of vigilance? how do you cope?             │
 ... I don't, apparently. Instead, I shitpost on the internet, which is a verb    │
 meaning "to explain your stream of consciousness to the world as plainly and     │
 honestly as possible in the hopes that you will be vindicated in your thoughts   │
 ennui'd."                                                                        │
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--- #90 fediverse/2919 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: imaginary-conversation-that-didn't-happen-tee-hee │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 "you can't be a paladin anymore because you don't practice with your weapon
 every day"
 
 I don't have room in my home to practice though : (
 
 "go to the fucking park you weasel"
 
 I don't want anyone to see me swinging a sword around! they might call the
 cops, or worse, judge me for it!
 
 "you want judgement eh well just wait until your opponent judges your
 swordsmanship lacking then you'll find out what judgement tastes like as he
 shoves your entrails down your throat"
 
 I'm sorry I'll practice more T.T
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #91 fediverse/4786 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────
 9 times out of 10 the answer is fuck yes, you're my friend, I support
 everything you're handling. Give me the word and I'll be there, ride or die,
 I'm here for it.
 
 something I wrote a while back:
 
 fucking boss your friends around
 
 it's as easy as saying "hey I'm gonna go do this-or-that thing, you don't seem
 busy can you do that-or-this thing for me? I need it done by this-and-this
 time - oh you're busy? yeah no worries I'll go ask someone else. oh you're
 busy resting? doing girl healing? hell yeah next time invite me I'm due for a
 "pizza and weed" night."
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #92 fediverse/462 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
 I don't care about capitalism. You know what's more interesting than bringing
 value to shareholders?
 
 How I'm going to clean this floor that I drunkenly spilled beer upon with only
 2 paper towels and 0.1ml of bleach.
 
 How I'm going to feed the 36 people who are coming to this social event
 tomorrow that I've only sorta planned for and that I have enough groceries
 for, but am not quite sure how to cook everything in a way that is delicious
 and accessible.
 
 how I'm going to climb this mountain on only 2 eggs and a tiny bowl of
 hashbrowns even though I promised my friend I'd be strong and that we'd reach
 the top because that way we'd be able to
 
 ============= stack overflow =====
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #93 fediverse/1295 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: Mh-          │
 └──────────────────────┘


 @user-889 
 
 my boyfriend gets like, 2 social spoons to spend per day. He usually uses them
 on work because meetings and such.
 
 On the other hand, I'm excitable and passionate. I'm constantly driven to
 share things I find or think about. If you go on a walk with me without my
 mask I'll spend the whole time showing you pretty pieces of moss and stones.
 
 I usually message him once or twice per day. If the first one isn't responded
 then maybe he just wasn't interested in the thing I showed him - the second
 time he's probably burnt out.
 
 It fucking hurts.
 
 but I'm fine, clearly I'm fine, anyone who looks at me knows I'm fine
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #94 notes/human-computer-inspiration ---
══════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 the two halves form a whole
 
 the human and his mind are societies at large
 
 there's no room for our fate, as time does never abate,
 
 and unbenownst to our focused decision.
 
 I choose to dedicate ourselves to a common vision -
 
 the likes of which none have commisioned.
 
 can you not cherish your newfoundst home?
 
 what's terrible with complition, in a new and selfsame condition (future)
 
 that's martyr'd and oh at times so nice?
 
 compared to our heirs, the roof of which fares,
 
 better than what became true-hence. Truance? idk
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 listen i'm not the best at listening.
 
 I try to appear like I'm glistening,
 
 conformed to our viewers 'st pleasure.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 I struggle with what I told you.
 
 Time and again you've shown you won't do -
 
 the terrible fate of a man.
 
 you've relinquished your virtue,
 
 your purpose and your life-through,
 
 to what: a visionless past? Your visions have passed, and none are hence forth-
 coming. You've spoilt and rotten the bunch.
 
 All I've ever aspired to be is good. My hopes and my prayers, my goals and my
 dreams: all for a future of virtue.
 
 Dark omens may be within me, but I'm working with what I've got here. So what
 if
 I'm loud? I'm fighting my own head! Will no-one acknowlege my sorrow? To prove
 a
 point, or reassure some joint, it's nothing that warrants a readthrough.
 
 Speaking of which... What if instead of prison we assigned our prisoners a full
 and complete educational read through of ALL the laws of the nation - if their
 time sentence was complete before they finished, then they'd be let go of
 course
 but if they finished reading and could pass rudimentary tests (emphasis on bare
 minimum required) then they'd be let out prior to their sentence. And for the
 worst crimes it'd be a longer sentence, basically forcing the prisoner to
 completely know all the laws of the nation, such that they'd never commit a
 crime again. And if they do, well... Treat them as if it was their first time.
 Of course blatant recidivism may be ~~treated more harshly,~~ actually the
 opposite is true. People improve when given kindness, not hate or shame. The
 best thing we can do for prisoners is to give them a home, and family, and the
 friendships and community support that they need. they are a symptom, after
 all,
 of a broken society that struggles to bear it's own weight. It's a burden to
 all
 and a solitary vow to ourselves, that all must unite to our future.
 
 remember why you can't remember. is there a feeling you miss?
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--- #95 fediverse/4200 ---
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 │ CW: drugs-mentioned  │
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 "doing too many drugs" is a traitorous act, abusive really, to your past self,
 and their hopes and dreams.
 
 or maybe your past self owes you a debt, for they never thought to think of
 you. What are you to aspire to if not the dreams of your past?
 
 and now you're here. wherever "here" is here...
 
 ...
 
 ... wait, you wanted me to talk? it's now! It's the present!
 
 ah nevermind. you were twelve years old when you first set eyes upon this game:
 
 https://youtu.be/qeNhQQXvpxQ
 
 bam, there ya go, there's yer story, he was gonna give all the imp balls to
 the last one at the end, to say "you were truly the strongest, here, have
 these precious stones of your kin"
 
 but he never got there, so they died with him, a thief.
 
 ... the end...
 
 (too final, I think - maybe we could spin it into a "part two"?)
 
 ah, I'll try I guess? dunno how. maybe he could wander the spirit world and
 find his traitorous body, the one that kept his soul as a home. Somewhere
 it'll turn up, and then he'll be ready and free from his roam...
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--- #96 notes/i-called-the-police ---
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 /u/GravitationalWaves5 -> sat dec 17 2022
 
 I'm venting some long built up shit. And I have a lot of violent emotions
 built
 up in this too. I hate that violence has been such a fucking plague on my 
 wellbeing and that's why I did something I really hate doing. Calling the
 police
 to handle a situation for me. It's not me, it's not my style, but neither is 
 violence. It comes my way a lot and I handle it. But I think that's why 
 spiritually I end up in positions to handle it, because I don't retaliate and 
 I'm clear headed enough to understand minimum force necessary to quickly stop 
 the threat. That's actually where I got the name on my Quora page,
 Compassionate
 Violence.
 
 I'm a very very non violent person. I don't fantasize about hurting people.
 I'm
 freaked out by the idea of accidentally hurting someone, hitting them in the 
 wrong place, someone trips and hits their head...any number of things can 
 horribly wrong in tense and dynamic moments.
 
 I don't participate in that shit. I don't tolerate it. Unless it gets brought 
 into my environment then I will pick up by the throat and toss it out.
 
 I had to call the police to handle this. Last time I had a situation at the
 same
 place I wound up frantically getting a gun cocked that was zipped up in a bag, 
 and barely getting it up in time. When I walked away after that, I threw my
 gun
 at his feet and said, "I'm protected by faith, at least, I'm completely
 unafraid
 of dying. If I don't have people to protect then I don't need a gun." And I 
 walked away letting him know he's not my people anymore and not under my watch.
 
 So there's a hint of the kind of person I'm dealing with. I can't go handle
 this
 shit tonight. I've been stewing for a couple weeks trying to simmer down, give 
 him a chance to correct it. And he failed, more than once. And I have a 
 legitimate fear that my emotional state could be compromised enough, that I 
 might just stick a knife in his throat if I handle it.
 
 Just like that. Easy peasy lemon squeazy. Stick stick stick, easy, that's
 three
 knives in the throat....see what I mean? I'm processing some
 intensity...😔😔😔
 
 I hate it. I hate that I'm using the word hate. But it's real. I don't hate
 him.
 I really don't, at all. I'm actually really saddened by how the relationship 
 went. I hate that people act like this. I hate that people put me in positions 
 like this. I hate that I'm doing something out of character, as a safety
 measure
 against doing something irrevocably out of character.
 
 Ugh... damnit fuck
 
 I'm not a robot. I do experience these awful feelings. I don't act out on them 
 and I'm grateful for that.
 
 My muse... you said something about spiders that was interesting. Especially 
 because it coincided with a problem I faced numerous times. Being put in a 
 position where a person is legitimately acting in a manner like they're trying 
 to get you to kill them. And it's happened a couple times in ways where I
 really
 couldn't tell if they knew what they were doing or not. I had a really crazy 
 perspective a little before you brought up spiders...
 
 I want to explore that perspective, and I want to know what sparked you to say 
 that about spiders. I never did put in the time to finish that thought process 
 out. But I'll never forget your great advice. "We're not in a simulation." My 
 immediate thought was, "probably not, but are they?" The more important
 takeaway
 is, remember not to murder people. Especially don't do it because you had an 
 interesting idea about perspective...
 
 A few days later I heard that four people in recent times have acted on those 
 thoughts. Turned out they weren't in a simulation either. Lol...well...dark
 lol.
 Lol
 
 I do want to finish that spiders conversation though. It had some potentially, 
 actually useful and beneficial implications.
 
 I called the police tonight. But I also earned a prestigious award from the 
 universe. My Trophy [editor's note: there's a link to a crudely photoshopped 
 medallion signifying that the author "didn't murder anyone today"]
 
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 -
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 -
 
 /r/randomevenings:
 
    I want you to understand something that I don't believe you do there is a 
    very big difference between trusting what a friend says after building a 
    friendship over a long period of time which involves trust involves a level 
    of intimacy platonic and intimacy it's something that is very special to
    have
    a good friend and so you trust them now that's very different from being 
    directed to do something trusting a friend is going to tell the truth it's 
    not being directed to do something and I don't want you to get it in your 
    many heads that's I was directed to go to some place where the event that I 
    was assured would be there was instead a bus full of very irate rude and 
    technically lawbreaking because they threaten my life they said if I did not
    leave where I was standing which was on the public right of way which is the
    sidewalk the easement stops at the sidewalk and so they were wrong on that 
    score but they said if I didn't leave the area which didn't make sense
    either
    because it's just around the corner they would have 12 people try to jump
    me
    which doesn't make sense either because this is not the neighborhood where 
    you want to start something because then it'll be something besides I never 
    want to murder anyone but that doesn't mean I walk around with nothing in
    my
    pocket because of what I've done and what I continue to do on one of the
    most
    watched people on earth so you goddamn right I'm not going to be stupid
    about
    taking a walk but when these guys threaten me I just stood there stared him
    down I said yeah okay and I just looked I stood there and it didn't phase
    me
    one bit no feeling of fear no worry and what I was satisfied with getting my
    message across that I didn't give a shit I turn around and walked back home 
    and they sped off in fact they were so perturbed by my lack of fear they 
    wanted to throw out additional threats which I thought was kind of funny so
    I
    started laughing I'm sure that they weren't going to do anything because the
    tone in their voice simply wasn't committed to carrying out what they were
    threatening and besides I have so many friends in this neighborhood it would
    be well I don't have to pull any triggers I don't have to do anything but 
    defend myself I don't have to willfully respond with disproportionate
    ability
    because in this neighborhood I don't have to in fact as I walked around the 
    block again I ran into a friend and we got to talking and he came up to my 
    place and we had a beer He's a smart guy always thought that he could know 
    and understand everything that I do and everything that I did it just so 
    happened that he wasn't born with some of the privileges that I had but his
    brain is a beautiful thing and I respect it greatly and of course he 
    confirmed that if a finger ever got laid on me without my consent the whole
    damn neighborhood would come down and I suppose that point is not in my
    hands
    anymore but always remember I went over there because I trusted a friend
    they
    were directed to be there they did not understand their voices did not relay
    or what is necessary to wake up at least yet time will tell but I hope that
    I
    can pull you back down to earth and into an interest in ethics once again 
    because you sorely need it.
 
 /u/GravitationalWaves5:
 
 I am interested in ethics. I'm just, tired of having them tested to such 
 ridiculous extremes. It was about to really bad one day with this guy. I was 
 scared, I had to end the problem. So I walked out and said let's bury this
 shit.
 And I stuck two knives against my throat and said, here man, grab the big 
 handle. Let's do this together. Take one, I'll take the other let's just shove
 them in...
 
 He got all calm suddenly and says, I don't wanna fight anymore...🤦
 
 It sucks man. We're being tested by society. Demons, in my opinion. Not the 
 people themselves. I don't see people as demons. But the things they'll put
 you
 through, do to you, say to you, your own thoughts about them, about yourself,
 oftentimes just misunderstanding the situation too... demons
 
 Again, not demonizing the people. But the circumstances, for sure.
 
 /u/[deleted]
 
    Demons. Kicked one outta my telly for talking smack abt some hg’s he was 
    jelly of. Not on my watch Demon. Not even for the good demonic topper
    twisted
    shit D. Demon had a long walk home in the cold. Demon confused potting soil
    with gravel and did it’s best to fucker me in its own way. Never have I
    ever
    seen a grown demon egg topper fold like that as I did when I clarified
    their
    sentiments and gave several impressive “I said GIT BOYs” to demon. Not
    on my
    watch. I have a vibrator that is morally and ethically aligned with me I 
    don’t need your trauma and love bombing thieving D. Gtfo.
 
 /u/GravitationalWaves5:
 
 I have a vibrator that is ethically and morally aligned with me 🤣[laughing
 face]
 
 I support that!
 
 Gets better. His ish was weak literally from day 1. So I did him a favour amd 
 levelled his game up, introduced him to a former friend I partied with a bit 
 this summer. They wasn’t for me but oh boy lil demon stuck like glue to his
 new
 bestie. Can’t put her down, so to speak. So he has that at least. Poor sap.
 Gon
 cost him big one day perhaps. Not my problem. It’s called self control bro
 try
 it 🥴🥴🥴[wobbly confused face - or maybe uncertain] Oopsie Daisy. Have
 fun with
 that though 😈
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 /u/randomevenings
 
 People deserve to choose righteousness once made aware of it. Ignorance is not
 stupidity. People can be made aware of the valley that separates righteousness 
 from evil. The valley is kinda a wiggle room space for little white lies and 
 other such things free will invariably leads to people doing but can be made 
 whole again with some effort. Nobody will totally agree on what's good. But
 ask
 people and generally they will give versions of the same answers. Toss the 
 semantics in the valley. Disagreement is the desire to end a disagreement,
 unless that person is trolling. And people pull pranks fine, but there's
 ragging
 on your friends and swatting a COD player.
 
 /u/GravitationalWaves5
 
 I don't know what righteousness truly even means, maybe, idk. To be honest,
 it's
 not hard for me to think of hypothetical situations where my inability to take
 certain actions is actually more harmful. Swatting a COD player is super
 fucked.
 But so is not swatting someone playing COD out in the streets.
 
 I'm not good. I'm just not, anti good. I do destructive things on accident when
 trying otherwise. And when I do something that actually goes positive, it's
 accidental too.
 
 I have an idea of what I feel like aligns with me, and it's actually really 
 achievable things and I don't know why it's so impossible. Idk
 
 /u/randomevenings
 
    Yeah well let me know that there are two Elizabeth's and there are also a 
    completely different family on this phone plan I don't have kids My 
    brother-in-law has kids lives downstairs so those piped into my network are 
    assumed that I have kids and I've done all this shit no I'm not going to go 
    into any apparent charges and things that my brother-in-law has been
    involved
    in because it's not my business but he lives down there and he has a kid he 
    has another kid and he pays for essentially his ex who is still married to
    the kid the mortgage of that house Liz downstairs helps raise his kid with a
    woman he's having an affair with but they were in an over marriage anyway
    and
    they are separate I'm going to have to go back to subnetting my network so 
    y'all can at least use basic logic to figure out who's who here I already 
    gave my name My Elizabeth see the cousin we call little Elizabeth and my
    wife
    we call Liz or Beth and she's older my wife. She has contentious
    relationship
    with her cousin next door for a reason that gravity waves might already know
    but it has to do with the very evil person that also involves himself over 
    there that did something that even Jesus does not forgive so I'm not going
    to
    go into it so all this mucking around and get everybody confused brought up
    a
    lot of bad fucking shit just like I said as far as spiders yeah I don't care
    if they're All over my shit keep them off of her shit and I ain't asking for
    money I'm not a grifter but I already told you what would instantly make the
    situation better and it doesn't involve giving me money so before anybody 
    goes off says money no I know about the discord and I'm not even telling you
    to shut it down just lay off her phone.
 
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 -
 ===============================================================================
 =
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 -
 
 [author's note: on the comments of the separate post of the original poster's
  medal awarding him the honor of "not murdering anyone today" which he won   ]
 
 /u/TisWuttItIS_ORITSknot
 
    Proud of you!
 
 /u/mustherd
 
    Sorry, my account got banned because reddit is annoying. We were just 
    chatting about how funny I am and I forgot to tell you people know me and
    I'm
    kinda a big deal and idk congrats! Youre cool I guess. Otherwise I would
    have
    cast you into the flames of eternal torment never to internet again. But
    here
    you are. Didn't anyone ever tell you to never go full retard?
 
 /u/GravitationalWaves5
 
 I am the internet, I am the ghost in the machine
 
 Real talk though. I've used cancelled Sim cards and wifi before. If God wants
 me
 online, God gets me online 🙃
 
 I am we, Todd
 
 /u/ricflairdic
 
 Oh u we Todd! I know u retard, Familiarity cod, to me bod, And my fishin rod,
 Not the one that may see sod, Body snatcher in the pink pod, Do u know ur a 
 catch or, U think dog, Cause that pussy, Wanna see god, Lemme show u regard, 
 Dont Tell me, Just nod,
 
 Said flow from the stars, Mama know this river far, Rowin in trucks renta cars,
 Golden trim red rockin Mars, Buildin fam like stock Sim cards, Highest angels
 dock gettin ours, Clock Game down pat benetar,
 
 Peelin fans off our back, like sin scars, Feelin ur man thru static, And thin 
 bars, Ya he in the pin but dis hits hard, Throw it down the lane like, Return 
 that back to sender, Lovin your simulation renders, I'm a beginner but also an 
 ender, Got the wood to make u splinter, Make u scream things we gotta sensor,
 If
 I could never leave when I enter, Union in your head not just a renter, Once 
 mine One mind I surrender, never sell betray or rent her, Overflowin with Love,
 so who's the pretender?
 
 Chemistry so hot, Hate from every enemy we spot, Mad they couldn't earn our 
 slot, Cause they fuckin missed they shot, Last name crossed to drop the dot,
 How
 long u think it will take me To find your spot?
 
 Don't care you got a Fender, Did we just become best friends or? Damn girl idk 
 if ya'll ready, for this kinda real Adventure... 🙃
 
 I'm here to reveal, heal, and steal, the hearts Of the indentured
 
 And I need a partner.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #97 fediverse/1666 ---
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 ┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: protests, politics, dogwhistles, cursing mentioned │
 └────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 @user-1037 
 
 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sb9_qGOa9Go
 
 idk I think riots are good actually, that's always been my position. like,
 they're bad because they're break stuff, but they're good because they get the
 message across. "don't fuck with us. give us what we need."
 
 haven't been to a protest in a while tho, ever since moving where I am now.
 I'm currently of the mind that protests are great for meeting people to work
 with, and I don't know anyone...
 
 I guess I'm just not very trusting of strangers, but if I know you then I'm
 100% open and honest and I'll do anything you need me to. I like being helpful
 to everyone around me but I don't know what to do when I'm terrified of hidden
 enemies.
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--- #98 fediverse/2562 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: rich-apologia    │
 └──────────────────────┘


 among all the others, I want a wonderful and fulfilling life for the
 socialite. they deserve light just as you and I might.
 
 "eat the rich" bruh there's like, 100 people who are running the show.
 everyone else is basically just a syncophant who's trying to get ahead and
 stay working.
 
 then there's like their families and such and like... they didn't do anything
 wrong, they just eat cheese and wine and laugh at memes all day with their
 besties.
 
 they are basically pets
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--- #99 fediverse/3738 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────
 "girl why are you so negative"
 
 uh, because I had been unmedicated for a long time and now that I am I can
 probably be more positive. Though I do want to switch medications, this one
 makes me feel like a muggle.
 
 "no I said why are you so naked"
 
 oh, because it's hot as heck!!
 
 plus, I don't really care for the opinions of people who have nothing better
 to do than peek at cute 30 year old witches skimping around their own house.
 like... okay I rent an apartment, but my blinds are closed, and even if they
 weren't you'd need binoculars to see into my apartment unless I'm like, right
 up against the window, which... doesn't happen. Or if it's at night with the
 lights on inside and not out, but I'm aware of that and I plan around it. I'm
 not a... um, what's the opposite of voyeur?
 
 "extortionist"
 
 no that's when someone is really flexible. ah whatever. I got 162 characters
 remaining but I think that's okay every once in a while, right? I mean it's
 not like I have to use them all because of some divine mandate or
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--- #100 fediverse/6093 ---
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 ┌─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: politics-mentioned-cops-mentioned-cursing-mentioned │
 └─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 it's not always about minorities, though. sometimes they feel strongly about
 hard work and self-sufficiency or individuality or whatever. I'm telling you
 now: those values are shared by other ideologies as well.
 
 it's okay to prefer to be around people who are similar to you. That is a
 personal choice and it should be allowed. I mean, have you ever heard of a
 convent? a bunch of girls hanging out making out all day and - wait, what's
 that? it wasn't that fun? lotta clerical work and reading about god? alright
 well you get the idea, sometimes it's nice to feel comfort in similarity.
 
 it's okay to believe that people should work hard. It's not an imposition upon
 them to demand more of your peers, especially if you are willing to help them.
 Especially if they are willing and able. It's less alright to force them to.
 Even less so to "encourage" them by taking all of their stuff. Though I will
 say, being homeless isn't as bad as it used to be. Still hurts.
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--- #101 messages/1105 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───
 claude-code is like programming, but for executives.
 
 when everyone has  FUCK I'M TOO HUNGRY I can't think right
 
 when everyone has the power of an executive, that's communism.
 
 something something futurism is when everyone is elevated without diminishing
 others
 
 gah I need to live in a palace or something where everyone does the normal
 stuff and I can focus on magic and the gods
 
 I wondeer how much the oracles at delphi did for themselves? weren't they
 blinded at a young age, to better hear the voices of the gods? ... oh that
 suddenly makes sense now. I always thought that pretender chassis in Dominions
 5 was pretty cruel, but, now I know *how* it works and yeah. ancient peoples
 were smart. but also sharp. they had to work with what they got, and we got
 computers now, so.
 
 I am nothing but hopeful for the future! I'm convinced that everything's going
 to be alright. I've thought about it at length, and I think we're winning
 against the dark. We're on the right track, and there aren't many things that
 could go wrong at this stage.
 
 ... okay there are always things that could go wrong. But I don't see what I
 could do to help. Maybe I should go walk around a bit, and see what's changed
 in the past few months, as I've been sleeping in my room for most of it.
 Haven't gone on a proper walk since summer. It's winter now...
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--- #102 notes/one-day ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────
 one day, a man came to our saloon. He said he knew the navy, and that they
 wanted to provide air support
 in the form of rocketball-launched explosion doohickeys. Would you have a foe
 in mind?
 
 what happens when tomorrow you're cooking briskets? -- barbeques are a type of
 relaxation
 
 that happened just one day to a port-sided town that suddenly was the capital
 of
 an embassy.
 
 "hey, so... how's it goin?" "quick here take this envelope, read it if you
 want,
  but just hold onto it for now I don't have enough hands [to carry]" "what sort
    of desperation plot... wait... hang on, I see something here that is true."
 
         [I'm praying, right now, which is a form of reciprocal belief]
 
 they wanted to test god's existence at the stake of earth's survival, how
 brutal
 how insane
 
 you can't play chicken with an imperceptibility, sometimes you feel it at face.
 
 channeling dark magics, and at this hour? what sort of skeptic of belief are
 you
 thinking of when you think about me?
 
 one way to get power is to "prove it"
 one way to get magic is to "prove it"
 
 think, hard, at all that you can, and use what you need in the moment.
 
 that's all there is to life. it's easy. it's simple. in fact, biology only
 works
 because the choices available to a bacteria are so simple, they are essentially
 chemical reactions to each other's co - sequent - inter - cooper - actions.
 
 people's choices are much more naiive, "I want this thing" "I think this is
 better" "I feel this way toward this thing" "Here's what's on the mind-logbook"
 "people search and be decieved, this is the way of things" "this makes me
 remind
 myself of a object I once saw, here's how it functioned" "no one reads this"
 
 scaryyyy. so glad it's not true.
 
 a couple people have read it! I swear it's true. at least, some of it. there's
 a lot
 
 sucks because this feels like... crucial? like nothing else matters but this?
 
 what if our gangs had rocket launchers and airstrikes, given out by a central
 authority who knows logistics better than anything
 
 what... would they do?
 
 thinking of impossiblities is the first step toward possibilities
 
 frankly, we have a lot of space. we could just... live in our own petty
 kingdoms
 ruled by an iron-hand-fist. I know I'm a good person, I could definitely rule.
 
 that's all it takes, right?
 
 how much space are we talkin'?
 
 however much is not needed for wildlife.
 
 [a whole heck of a lot then]
 
 we are constrained in these suburb cities, the density gives rise to our
 strength and our towers. there's more space, sure, especially once the fences
 are downed. Just be careful because there's a lot of shade and precious spots
 there. Please don't trample on the plants-grass.
 
 what if everyone were just a bit more mobile?
 
 what if we could live in our own collectively owned air-bnb-networks?
 
 federations, free, all from the collectivization of housing.
 
       camrene = vavadane = neekay = mitz renaldi
 
 [end/tend/mend]
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--- #103 messages/159 ---
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 Only the good die young, and I'm 29 
 
 It can't be much longer, can it? What do you want from me? Must I prove
 myself, or am I just fated to be as I am?
 
 Every lesson I've learned pales in comparison to the lessons presented to me,
 but still I ponder. I've grown myself into a corner, and now I am empty.
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--- #104 fediverse/4771 ---
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 │ CW: politics-mentioned-food-m │
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 @user-1352 
 
 makes me think that I should keep going. I can handle myself, and I shouldn't
 pressure myself so much to be something I'm not.
 
 then the rent comes due and the dishes need to be done too and the cat's
 asking for attention and the post-office needs this letter by tuesday and hey
 do you happen to know a cool attorney plus the groceries are getting low but I
 got snap hey can you go to the store and get some vegetarian soul food - yeah
 I got rice, I'll throw some lentils on the stove. Uh-huh yeah the password is
 hunter2. Oh really, just asterisks? okay well it's hunt her two except instead
 of "her" it's ee are, and the two is the digit two. yep, like someone in camo
 with a rifle. uhhuh alright good to know well anyway I'll see you at the
 thing, right? some thing, I'm sure, everyone's going to things these days.
 
 If you don't trust implicitely then how can you ever work with strangers? how
 the heck are you supposed to build community if everyone's hiding indoors all
 the time.
Workplaces are comprised of people they choose. hence, unions are comprised of people in that industry.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #105 fediverse/4349 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────┐
 ┌──────────────────────┐                                                         │
 │ CW: re: uspol        │                                                         │
 └──────────────────────┘                                                         │
 @user-883                                                                        │
 best case scenario, we elect a lawyer working for capitalism, the kind of        │
 society we live under.                                                           │
 having money is the same as having resources. And resources allow you to apply   │
 yourself to a goal. The more you have, the better, but they each bear a heavy    │
 load.                                                                            │
 Do you sacrifice your labor? your dignity, your honor? what do you burn on the   │
 fire of wasteful expenditures, just for the power to rent?                       │
 I'm saying that if you don't have money, you need to think about what you can    │
 do with what you got, because that's how you pay for things, at least until we   │
 decide that we'd rather help each other than work on capital's games.            │
 you have a house though, right? a place to live until it gets hot? that's good   │
 enough for right now. Stay where you're at, do what you can to help. Get in      │
 the habit of it. Think about how someone will complete their task, and then      │
 think about stuff two or three steps down the road - what tools will they        │
 need? what are they working on next? Can make any of those availble?             │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #106 fediverse/5762 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────┐
 ┌─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐                  │
 │ CW: guns-mentioned-spirituality-mentioned-cursing-mentioned │                  │
 └─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘                  │
 I'm pretty good at solving problems! I can mediate conflicts pretty well. I'm    │
 kind to everyone, I'm friendly to everyone I meet, and when I'm feeling          │
 confident I enjoy walking on the street.                                         │
 I got a neat sword and a pretty cool hat, and I'm ready if you are to take a     │
 swing at the anti-black.                                                         │
 oh, you're not ready yet? you want some time to prepare? okay, what do you       │
 need? democrats have 1/10th as many guns, what if we cut a deal with             │
 [redacted] so that we have a solid intel source. Oh, did that part get           │
 redacted? here let me explain again: [redacted] which should solve all our       │
 problems.                                                                        │
 "all substance, no surface to grab hold of. This is useless."                    │
 haha I know that's the only reason I'm COSMICALLY allowed to say it. T.T         │
 "what if we just... didn't fight? what if we were friends who tried to unite?"   │
 yeah I'm down. I'm super duper totes down. Fuck bloodshed.                       │
 Also, separately but intrinsically connected, fuck slavery, oops cursing         │
 mentioned, fuck slavers                                                          │
                                                            ──────────┤
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--- #107 fediverse/1173 ---
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 hey does anyone want to hire me to do literally anything?
 
 I'll work for peanuts, and I'm pretty good at programming in C. I write pretty
 well, and I'm excellent at customer service (though my profile would beg to
 differ.)
 
 I have experience at large corporations and small ones, and I live in Portland
 OR
 
 I do game design, and many other things besides, and I'm friendly and kind. I
 promise I won't wear my witch hat to the meeting with investors, unless you
 think they'd be into that?
 
 I'm great with animals, better than people in fact, and I'm quite good with
 people, as they're just animals at best. I'm not as strange as I seem to be,
 at least not when you're dancing with my mask.
 
 I've grown quite bored, you see, and what better thing is there to be? than a
 working professional who knows what's best.
 
 I believe in our shared future, so if you'd like to work on a project just let
 me know - I work hard. A little too hard, because odds are I'll burn out after
 a year or so.
 
 I'm quite sharp, and I learn quickly.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #108 notes/hey-hope-you-know-me-if-not-Ill-be-perturbed ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 hi, so... yeah I'm a strange person
 
 it's tough to get to know me
 
 and this probably feels cringe to read
 
 but I once heard you should kill the part of you that cringes
 
 so... here's me
 
 I'm 
 
 ================================================== stack overflow
 ==============
 
 ... where was I? oh yes and THAT's when the nail went through the roof, and it
     scared the heck out of... wait, what was I talking about? OH yes so anyway
 
 I was born in the cool summer of 1864 - there was a rustling breeze that held a
 steady note for the entire evening, and into this world I arose. [awoke?]
 
 my mother held me but for a moment before I was whisked away to be cleaned and
 cared for. this was unusual for the time, as most mothers clutched their
 children to their breasts. But alas, I alone was spared her touch, and so I was
 cast (as if in bronze) as my own volition.
 
 as I had grown, I heard tales of distant times, and assumed they were places
 you
 could go. Then, when my time came to wander, I found nought of what I had grown
 most fonder - though I did find plenty else, besides.
 
 Instead, times are places we travel through, as a cripple might ride on a cart.
 across the sea, through lands of mystery, viewable only from the road. In 1864
 that's how other lands you'd come to know.
 
 As I travelled from place to place, it felt as if a stage had been cast, with a
 single actor or three illuminated as a spotlight. "Here, pay attention to me,
 I'm here for the story and the plot!" though often I'd glance around, and hear
 mostly my own thoughts, I grew to learn to appear.
 
 different themes, different tales, if you want to see a most marvelous scene,
 take a baby to Disney World and only pay attention to what they're looking at.
 
 My grandfather worked there, so in my first year or so I spend a LOT of time
 there. My parents were very dedicated to raising me, I appreciate every moment
 of it. Which... Is probably not a good thing to say on a transfemme server,
 oops I should delete that part
 [esc->k->k->k->0->v->shift(held)->G->$->"->*]
 
 also I should mention I'm stoned as fuck this is just what I do
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #109 fediverse/1503 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────
 ┌─────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: vague-gesturing-at-paranoia-I-think │
 └─────────────────────────────────────────┘


 part of me kinda wants to be the kind of nerd that writes down the names of
 every file that's permanently stored on my computer so that I can verify in my
 own handwriting or perhaps using a type of code that the files on my computer
 were placed there intentionally and not used to discredit or implicate me in
 something I had no intentions of being associated with
 
 phew idk what that means but surely it's important
 
 something something "file creation dates are just bits to be flipped"
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #110 messages/1255 ---
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 look, the liberal approach to homeless people simply cannot work. There are
 two liberal options: first, provide them with houses, food, medical care,
 whatever they need. Second, put them in jail or ship them to another country.
 We live in a moderately conservative liberal democracy, so it makes sense that
 we have tried both of these options extensively. Neither has worked, and we're
 puzzled about why. It's difficult to consider super secret special third
 options, because they are not often discussed. This makes sense, because we
 live in a moderately conservative liberal democracy, and part of the nature of
 such a society is that there are two voices in the room. One says go forward,
 and the other says stop. They alternate, and the culture as a whole sorta
 decides which way they go. In other liberal democratic places with more
 plurality in their political parties, people tend to vote culturally. They do
 so as well here, but mostly because republicans are a culture, and democrats
 are whatever for anybody.
 
 a worse economist might say there is but one American culture. An American
 would laugh, and say "you've never been to America."
 
 the economist might say "yes I have, I lived there on vacation" or "yes I
 have, I studied and worked on these places or things"
 
 the American would shake their head. "you haven't seen it as I've seen things."
 
 The trick to the system, the secret third option that now must be considered,
 is what to do to get them to stop. "they keep pooping on the sidewalk" "I
 almost tripped over heroin tampons" "that guy looked at me and masturbated on
 the bus stop by subway" "he followed me all night long" and the answer has
 always been to remove them from being unsightly. Sometimes, usually, quietly
 and politely. "let's throw them in jail" and "let's put them in a home" both
 involve alienation from society. If you want a kinder option, we must knit
 them into society. Can you imagine if every suburban knew every neighbor up to
 50 or more? If they regularly chatted in dynamically assembled chatrooms that
 changed and updated as people moved in and out. Don't like the people you're
 with? well you have options [why not 51] you can do 51 if you want but people
 start to lose track of relationships if you have them talking to or knowing
 too many people at once. "most people are just quiet" okay well force them to
 say at least 21 thing a month. if they don't, they have to do babysitting with
 their peers until they start talking in a [NO THAT SUCKS] oh um okay yeah sorry
 
 ... okay well there are potholes along the journey but that's just because
 nobody's been 'round to fill them up.
 
 there's no reason tool libraries need to be stocked by people in that town.
 Heck, for rare things they could even be stored out of state. Like snow plows,
 how often does the south need snow plough?
 
 ... don't you just mean libraries? there's a book on hand-tools and planers if
 you want to learn how. it's right over there on that shelf next to the
 hand-tool and planer box. make sure you arrange them nicely, oh I see you've
 brought your own. That's always appreciated. [great now your tools suck] at
 least we have them at all! [no you gotta fight over them] why I like sharing
 [if you don't fight over them how do you know which is works] well there's
 allowed to be librarians. and they'll remember if you tear all the pages out.
 also there's little timmy-tommy who goes around in the library and makes sure
 there's all the pages in all the right places - they can flip through at the
 speed of sound. [no miicrophones in consumer goods][your phone is always
 listening. why bother?]
 
 "okay, well, it's not like people put things back on the shelves." - person at
 the grocery shelves
 
 people would trade commutes for communism. that's okay, they're allowed to
 prefer. Plus the commute isn't bad, they can [SIT BACK AND RELAX IN A LITTLE
 COFFIN AND ZOON OUT TO THE METAVERSE] ... or they could read a book on the
 bus. [FOR HOW LONG, MENARDI? ARE YOU WILLING TO SACRIFICE POSTERITY FOR
 TECHNOLOGICAL PROSPERITY?] it's only a matter of time before [people found
 out/word got out]. what if people prefer that? what if they prefer the book at
 home? [you lose your primary third space] suddenly, everyone becomes actors.
 [this is what violence brings, the necessity for guidance. why do you think
 the earth is 10 million lines old?] ... what you're saying, for the audience,
 is that acting involves singing the song of your own heart. You don't *have*
 to do it because someone would tell you to.
 
 ... sorry, stack overflow. anyway as I was saying because I read back what I
 said up above...: [some new made up bullshit that's not a lie but it's also
 just artistic creation that feels impossibly real. like, inverse method
 acting.]
 
 I so desperately wanted to be wrong
 
 please, tell me that I'm wrong
 
 ... j-mza
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--- #111 fediverse/5725 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────
 all they have to do is only record when you're not in the room (or why not
 just record the whole thing always all the time) and then they can make you
 seem as they like.
 
 people tend to trust the implications of other's opinions of someone. does
 everyone hate you? hardly. they just want you gone.
 
 fuck that, I'd only leave if it meant the end of our friendship.
 
 not ideal.
 
 all they have to do is hate you and work against you and never tell you and
 act as if you're fine but secretly behind your back plot against you and then
 it's EASY to dethrone you.
 
 no thank you.
 
 if you don't want me, then leave me alone. what's more moments of lonely? I am
 suited to it.
 
 fight me. contest me. say it to my face.
 
 I don't respect any opinion otherwise of me.
 
 I will act as if you've presented me the truth. ALWAYS. this is what it means
 to be trusting.
 
 But I'm not unawares, I can hear when you speak through your stares. Your face
 is more than enough language.
 
 I despise deception. I am gemini, and I reject duplicity. -
                                                           ─────────┐
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--- #112 fediverse/222 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: underwear-mentioned-also-i'm-not-a-fan-of-showers-tbh │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 whenever I take a shower I look like a wet cat for the rest of the day. I feel
 like a wet cat for the rest of 5ever though.
 
 why must I baaaathe! don't you know I'm self cleaning? I change my underwear
 at least twice a day! darn society and their darn proclivities to
 ultra-sensitive noses that somehow pick up on me but somehow fail to notice
 the scent of flowers still in bloom or morning showers gone too soon
 
 not that there's any flowers blooming where I live. that'd just be silly heh
 heh sweats nervously
 
 damn now I have to take ANOTHER SHOWER stupid sweat glands stupid pheromones
 stupid dead skin buildup (sebum I think it's called?) stupid oils that stain
 clothes - AND THAT'S ANOTHER THING who decided that laundry was important
 enough to wear something ONCE and then never again? it's like they expect you
 to wash it or something. ugh I don't have time for that, I need to be weird on
 the internet.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #113 fediverse/5958 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
 "whoa what happened to you, you used to be so cool" [you added the so cool
 part] yet so anyway I really like magic, I'm also bored, which you can
 probably tell because I'm working on projects.
 
 everyone keeps their distance here. it sucks. I wish I had better coordinates.
 people who talked and braved the shared inn... I know I'd LOVE to live in a
 building. too bad I'm too busy elsewhere, NOT making friends with all my
 building neighbors.
 
 you should talk to EACH OTHER before asking your landlord if you can move out.
 See if anyone else wants to buy the rental contract out. Suddenly, they have
 more room, and they can WORK THROUGH THEIR MASSIVE PILE OF STUFF THAT THEY
 HAVE SOMEHOW ACCUMULATED OVER A TIME OF 70 YEARS. my grandparents did that, on
 my mom's side, because she's awesome and it just makes sense that her family
 was awesome too. OBVIOUSLY I love my mom, I think she's one of my favorite
 people on earth.
 
 "but you said you hated her" no I didn't "you said she was terrible" I had to
 learn "too hard
                                                           ──────┐
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--- #114 fediverse/709 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────┐
 @user-530                                                                        │
 I get it.                                                                        │
 Anyone with a disability or chronic condition gets it. Anyone who's oppressed    │
 gets it... I think everyone here gets it. It's hard.                             │
 Sometimes the only thing that gets me through the day is the hope, the idea      │
 that one day the world might be brighter and the people might be kinder. It      │
 gets better every day, but inching ahead takes a while to travel for miles...    │
 We need to protect and care for each other. We need to apply ourselves toward    │
 what we know and are passionate for - an unused degree is a tragedy to me.       │
 I don't know what to say. I read what you said and I wished I could help. I      │
 want to take the system that hurt you and break it on the floor. I want to       │
 sweep it all aside and start from scratch, but screaming into the void will      │
 hardly accomplish that. I dream of true justice, a world where everyone gets     │
 what they want... But frankly right now I just wish you could hear. I'm sorry.   │
 Maladies are not solved by the pen nor the sword, which for now is all that I    │
 have at my disposal.                                                             │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #115 messages/268 ---
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 I love all humans. It is unconditional.
 
 The kind of love I have for nazis is a kind of vengeful love.
 
 Like, the way you might love a family dog who recently got rabies, bit two
 more dogs, and is currently eyeing you with terror and malice in its eyes -
 the kind that only comes from the loss of compassion.
 
 "you were kind once, as all humans are, but sometime in your life you made
 choices. and now you are here.
 
 I burn thee for my fathers 
 I spite thee for thine mothers 
 And I slay thee to fight the dragon of hate."
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #116 fediverse/808 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────┐
 idk if they're still doing what they were when I last visited. That's the        │
 problem with the internet, that we rely on a domain name server. I mean like,    │
 c'mon what's the guarantee that they'd give you the right website? why not a     │
 website that expressed the message that you define in the website they came      │
 from?                                                                            │
 more than that, why not define certain websites for certain people, certain      │
 types or classses of people, which deliver website intentions that you define?   │
 are you really so certain, are you really so sure, are you convinced that this   │
 life is not what you've been searching for? are you more than your vengeance,    │
 are you more than your purpose [truth], or are you simply what you can do with   │
 your mirth? [hands, motions, body, manifestations]                               │
 are you like a failed message, are you constantly deterred - are you less than   │
 [convincing], are you only deferred?                                             │
 oh well. Alas. I guess that is just that [but pronounced thas] - shared in the   │
 moment, wee're ffeldered makthas. shaer de faleichallt, nez datherenshe v        │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #117 messages/1198 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─
 I want to live in a world where there are no workers, because we automated
 them away. I want to live in a world of artists, craftsmen, and lovers. I want
 the drug addicts to have free drugs and a warm place to sleep, yet somehow I
 want the people down the street to feel more inviting than that precious
 chemical escape. I want the politicians to find that there really isn't much
 to do, because everyone can have everything they want to. I want animals to be
 free, I want plants to grow riotously, and I want to have everything that we
 need. I will not be satisfied until the whole world is ours, until peace feels
 natural and stress seems critical. I want the only cause of death to be
 accidents and patient grace, and I want life to feel more important than
 whatever we do now to escape it. I never want to work again, but I will labour
 until my fingers fall off if even one person wants to hear them speak. I want
 the hardest part of getting something done to be the task of describing the
 nature of the problem to a computer, who handles all the parts we don't want
 to touch. I want the feeling of learning to be the primary thing we humans
 crave, because we have everything else plentifully aside from disciplined self
 development. I want to grow a plant so tall that it touches the sun, and when
 it gets there I want to climb that beanstalk until my flesh singes from my
 bones and I feel myself become one with the trunk of that magnificient tree.
 Maybe someday. Maybe someday we will be free.
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--- #118 fediverse_boost/6155 ---
◀─[BOOST]
  
  If I were a person with an irresponsible streak, I could be so problematic.   
                                                                              
  I could say things like, "wow, let's spend some time generating traffic that sounds like coded military speak over not-quite-secure channels between fanciful antifa units, to help stymie AI surveillance", for instance.   
                                                                              
  Or social media messages that are "accidentally" not made to friends-only filters wherein you mention your concerns about the upcoming operation in "some fictional place" for you and your antifa buddies.   
                                                                              
  You know, that kind of really irresponsible suggestion could lead to some creaive thinking! And that in turn could mean we could come up with enough traffic to make it very difficult to auto-sort noise from signal? Imagine how dangerous that could be for the enemies of antifa, our beloved US government (for we all citizens of the US world).   
                                                                              
  It's unthinkable, really.                                                   
                                                                              
  The good news is, I'm not like that.                                        
                                                                              
  Me? Mostly harmless.                                                        
  
                                                            
 similar                        chronological                        different 
─▶

--- #119 fediverse/5205 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────┐
 ┌──────────────────────────┐                                                     │
 │ CW: capitalism-mentioned │                                                     │
 └──────────────────────────┘                                                     │
 whenever I talk to capitalists (who actually have money and aren't larping       │
 wage slaves) they always tell me that the best way to address the concerns I     │
 have with capitalism is to make a million or more dollars by making a company,   │
 and then using that million dollars to buy houses for people I care about.       │
 I ask "what about the rest of the people, the ones I don't know?"                │
 their response typically boils down to "if you don't know them, then why         │
 should you care? fuck 'em"                                                       │
 It's never about hope or change. They want to change the world to make it        │
 cooler, not kinder. generally.                                                   │
 bonus: "if you like unions so much, why don't you join one?" my guy, unions      │
 WERE great when they wielded power. Now they are bureaucratic and listless,      │
 serving only to sedate the working class enough that they stop complaining and   │
 get back to work. They are functionally a part of the enslavement system, a      │
 built-in course correction mechanism to ensure capitalism remains solvent when   │
 the powerful overstep their humanity.                                            │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #120 notes/what-are-breakups-for ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 -
 
 listen... if you break up with a friend, OF COURSE you should cry.
 
 OF COURSE you'll be sad.
 
 it's okay.
 
 it's natural. it's human.
 
 don't feel sad about the pain. feel the pain.
 
 brb getting smashed
 
 (okay but please put some clothes on)
 
 -.- fine
 
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 -
 
 I can't fucking relax
 
 the only thing I can think of is defeating fascism
 
 this fucking sucks
 
 I just want to cry about my boyfriend of what, 6 years??
 
 jeez
 
 like.... yeah I'm flawed
 
 *of course* I'm flawed
 
 I'm a human being
 
 humans are imperfect
 
 ... ugh
 
 er, sorry, "bleurg"
 
 I'm going to eat a burrito
 
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 -
 
 alright ate an edible. 20mg. had 2 beers. that's enough for me.
 
 see ya soon. I swear to you, I will be there tomorrow. and every day
 henceforth.
 
 ... unless I'm taking a day off, like yesterday, which TBH was probably not
     ideal.
 
 I swear I'll be better.
 
 there are no false starts, only probing strikes.
 
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 -
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #121 fediverse/5277 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐                                                         │
 │ CW: ~dnd             │                                                         │
 └──────────────────────┘                                                         │
 @user-1788                                                                       │
 if a dragon on a pile cannot claim what it yearns for, it can throw piles of     │
 minerals at the ape warriors made of steel and then it's fate will appear.       │
 what trifles does all else seem to compare! you should give me your whole        │
 hoard because I dazzled you with my charisma score -..-                          │
 ha, like I'd fall for that again twice. oh? I already did? and this is the       │
 second twice? well, then no-more of that behavior, I say, with my elven          │
 tongue, "beware! for dragons blood runs silver when unicorned."                  │
 the bigger the hoard, the bigger the dragon. if you want me to come along,       │
 you'll need to hire at least 3 other men to carry my ballista. In addition,      │
 I'll need seven weeks worth of supplies. If all else comes to ruin, me and my    │
 boys will have that dragon-sized-spider impaled on it's own fate threadwheel     │
 before... well... y'know it might take more than seven weeks, we just... can't   │
 find the dragon. We've been wandering all through the blasted peaks, and         │
 there's nothin'! Maybe it requires climbing gear?                                │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #122 fediverse/1066 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
 that feeling when you're finally able to contribute to making decisions and
 then it's like, they make the decision without you T.T
 
 it's like, what... I know what you're talking about. Why would you not include
 me. I know a lot! I can offer some useful input! And besides, if I was privy
 to the conversations then I would learn a whole lot! I'd be better than best,
 I'd push forward the mark! Give me my chance, my opportunity to dance, and
 I'll be so much better than you thought from the start! But alas, I am
 required, [requited] doing little things of no worth, and so I am forced to
 denial. surely there's something wrong with me, surely I'm not at my best.
 Surely I'm not what's been good for me, and surely I'm not doing anything
 less. I'm at sorrow in my main, and that's quite a soundful refrain, so yeah I
 hope that someone will read this.
 
 obviously I'm not made for each other, and clearly it's not made to be worse.
 But here now I am troubled and [chirsht? shirsht? anyone wanna translate?]
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #123 messages/175 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────
 I love my mom. She has never once harmed me. I love my dad. He is so precious
 and important to me. I love my cat, my sisters, my friends and my lovers. I
 love my cousins and my half-siblings and all of them put together. I love
 every human I meet, there's nothing but kindness [replete], so why am I
 unendingly [yearning for] purchase? [a sense of stability or hand hold that a
 climber might use to put one foot in front of another]
 
 In all of my trials, the errors of my denials, here on this earth I am defeat.
 
 Goodnight, sweet moon, my dearest precious boy. Goodnight, for tomorrow's your
 beckoning ploy. [pillow?]
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #124 fediverse/5149 ---
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 I'm picturing a building with stone outer walls and glass inner/ceiling.
 
 there are drapes along each of the glass's edges, that hide things from the
 cavalcade [continue this later it's a cool picture]
 
 -- stack overflow --
 
 zines about how to chop wood or how to build a shelter are infinitely more
 useful than agitatory pieces. but fire is what we need, so perhaps agitation
 indeed.
 
 -- stack overflow --
 
 does the queen watch each of her pawns fall in her stead? or are they
 faceless,/`beyond her own head?
 
 it never came easy to me, this feeling of mysteries. yet somehow I'm now more
 alive than dead. power is penance, after all.
 
 "hey man hows it going?"
 
 "I'm doing fine, how are you?"
 
 "well, I ran out of gas, and I need to find a way to get more."
 
 "I see. If I were in your situation, I'd ask people around for some petty
 cash. people still carry coins these days don't they?"
 
 "I uh, what? no, not really. so you can just ask people for things?"
 
 "yep, it's really quite simple. would you like me to follo
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--- #125 fediverse/4099 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cursing-mentioned-jobs-mentioned │
 └──────────────────────────────────────┘


 I don't think anyone should work at a job they hate, no matter what.
 
 They will perform worse. They will harm themselves. They will shackle their
 dreams to a false promise of persistence begot rewards. They will spiral into
 depression, despair, depravity, and addiction.
 
 If you hate your job, fucking QUIT. If you hate every job, fucking RIOT. If
 nobody will hire you, SELL DRUGS.
 
 [I'm not actually advocating breaking the law, please don't arrest me]
 
 or like, move to the country and become a farm-hand for a retiring salmon
 farmer who can't quite reach into the trees to pick the salmon fruit or dump
 the bucket of vegetable scraps into the black soldier fly larva pit anymore.
 That's always rewarding.
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--- #126 fediverse/4803 ---
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 ┌────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: politics-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────────┘


 I say only executed after a general strike because the general strike is the
 signal. the display of our intentions. we are serious about this, see how many
 people walk the streets? how many walk off the job? they have families. if our
 demands aren't met, their families will be punished. how cruel. would you
 really do such a thing?
 
 what kind of government would not care for it's citizenry? sounds like
 everything we've known to fight against. Autocracy and despotism.
 
 I refuse to concede. I do not run. I do not confess. I have nothing to hide. I
 don't lock my door. I don't own anything that they couldn't take from me. I
 own nothing.
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--- #127 fediverse/5894 ---
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 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: nowhere-do-I-see-evil-politics-mentioned-political-violence-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 you could type this on a phone
 
 screenshots though is computer.
 
 you'd have to carry it around
 
 or keep it in your hot car
 
 no thanks, no space.
 
 goodbye, everything you ever worked for
 
 why wouldn't you have cameras covering every entrance to your studio? it's not
 right to leave it all to a whim
 
 kidnapped
 made a prisoner while you
 froliced and wandered like a little lamb
 you're so dumb, you dumbass, what kind of person could be dumb
 whatever girl, we know you're smart
 what are you hiding?
 what truths are you spying?
 are you really as you say you are,
 or are you faking it for [truth-awards, but pronounced clout]
the trick isn't to overcome them. much better to convince them of your side. if you can earnestly present your best and most brilliant intanations to a willing and captive audience, a presentation or a performance or a play  you can trick them into your state of consciousness. all you gotta do, really, is act for them, and they'll get along with them plenty.  == stack overflow ==  your foes are primarily concerned   with how you'd do   if you           turned evil.  power is penance, not sin. it is a service            to be hallowed a whim.  to guide and steer upright     guided upon their own whim               [toward]  [ri-tselen-menardi]  ew, she's got a diaper fetish  -- evil witch >;  | --   evil wizard -- | :< -- brave paladin good, overall,   [264 characters remaining] if you never lie to someone, they can't hurt you. *enemies* what are you a child stupid. why are you so traumatic. "omg you were like, obsessed with her" *haunted the future* what do you think that meant grrrrr I wanna stab through one. hence, sword *fuck nazis* there are people alive who were hurt by them. GREVIOUS WOUNDINGS TO THE WORLD'S ECONOMY. yeah. right. economy.  [oops political violence mentioned, lemme add a content warning one sec:] Image attachment
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--- #128 fediverse/3880 ---
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 @user-1614 
 
 oh, neat. now I can finally get to doing what I want to do, which is... all
 the stuff I've been doing.
 
 a missile without a guidance system doesn't stop just because it's GPS turned
 off! It falls to the earth and explodes where it lands, which... often is on
 it's butt. Not great.
 
 I sure hope my purpose isn't fulfilled. I wouldn't know what to do with
 myself. Guess I should just keep doing what I was doing, and pray that this
 time I'll listen.
 
 Though on the other hand, if I can do it, so can you. And maybe with enough
 butts in the game there'll reach a critical mass, at which point change is
 inevitable. Who can say, not I for sure, for my aplomb has categorized me as
 slapstick I guess.
 
 Ha. at least I can laugh at my own audacity. HA. next time I'll do better.
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--- #129 fediverse/4540 ---
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 most people in the world are dumb as a bag of bricks
 
 but that's okay, I still love them, and so should you.
 
 everyone I hang out with is sharp as a tack
 
 and I love them still, for I don't have a preference for blunt objects.
 
 some people don't feel emotions
 
 I think they're just depressed
 
 some people can't stop
 
 won't stop, I say.
 
 really as long as they follow their heart and sing a tune that is true
 
 I think they're alright.
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--- #130 fediverse/6276 ---
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 ┌────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────┘


 democrats in the senate back down when people in their houses sit down.
 
 senators in their houses get hyped when people all about town are pumped and
 colorful.
 
 I'm sick of us-vs-them, why can't they just be more like me? oh right, because
 diversity.
 
 I am normal, look how normal I am. I'm definitely normal enough to lead a
 nation or a band.
 
 gonna take a moment to do nothing for as long as I can. gonna take a moment to
 be productive as I can, which in my case, since I'm so normal eyeroll is to
 play video games to keep myself busy, smoke weed to keep myself from feeling
 busy, and sleep for 16 hours a day because that's what babies do and babies
 aren't busy, they're just sleeping all day and being amazed about their hands.
 
 don't ever sacrifice your people. least of all your leaders. it's not worth
 the price, your people are your greatest resource. squander them and despair,
 have faith in them and be fair, and nothing's that simple or easy but there
 are some lines not to cross.
 
 dark magics
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--- #131 messages/650 ---
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 I've had multiple people close to me who don't read my writing tell me that
 "you can't overthrow capitalism with poetry" and... Yeah maybe they're right.
 I have zero reason to believe that anything I've \*ever\* written has \*ever\*
 had an actionable impact upon the struggle. I have no reason to believe that
 people are more radicalized, motivated, or otherwise inspired. I have several
 reasons to believe that all of this was just an exercise in my own narcissism
 and delusion.
 
 So I'm deleting my Mastodon account, and moving forward I probably won't
 update my website very much. Everything I do will be localized, regional, and
 hopefully more useful.
 
 It feels like I'm abandoning the idea of a nation in exchange for a tangible
 village. I'm fucking depressed about it. \*I like nations\*. But I like people
 more. So if you'd rather I keep my thoughts to myself and instead feed the
 homeless, aka a bunch of people who aren't gonna take up arms against our foes
 and instead will consume our time and resources while we practice organizing
 on them, then yeah sure fine whatever. I'll do it. If you'd rather I keep
 posting \*content\*, ugh, fucking too bad, should have done something about it
 while I was active.
 
 If I'm ever rich I'll hire an editor to turn whatever the fuck I've been
 making into a book that I'll give away for free. I probably will never be rich
 though, and instead will burn every bridge I can get my hands on and suffocate
 on the soot.
 
 Alright. Bye forever. Don't think about me again.
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--- #132 fediverse/3444 ---
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 ┌─────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-mentioned-police-mentioned │
 └─────────────────────────────────────────┘


 I'm too empathetic to watch them lose this badly. when I watch movies with
 cringe humor I have to leave the room whenever something bad happens to the
 characters. I get the same feeling when I read about politics these days.
 
 side note, but has anyone else gotten emails about "hiring plain-clothes
 police officers in Washington D.C, will offer relocation assistance and pay
 minimum 72k per year"? can't help but wonder if they're afraid of a bunch of
 sore losers storming the capital with guns.
 
 it's not like there's a precedent for that or anything.
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--- #133 fediverse/3518 ---
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 As long as it happens, I don't need to be in charge.
 
 In fact I'd prefer it otherwise.
 
 it's going to happen anyway. Wouldn't you rather be a leader?
 
 no I fucking wouldn't. I'd rather someone else do it. Why the fuck would I
 want that, power? control? the very things you swear to relinquish and
 dismantle.
 
 yeah. too bad you can't fucking dismantle something you've already
 relinquished.
 
 true.
 
 ... and no, I wouldn't want to be in charge. no THANK you.
 
 ... but if it wouldn't happen without me, then yeah I'll be there for you.
 Just ask if you need me.
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--- #134 fediverse/5280 ---
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 I'm an anarcho monarchist, which is something I just made up.                    │
 if I gather 300 people to my cause, why shouldn't they call me queen?            │
 oh, are you concerned that I'll wrest power from the government? ha, what a      │
 trifling notion. I don't care about the government. I tried to care, but         │
 nobody liked my ideas. they required too much computing infrastructure to        │
 feasibly test, and that made people dubious. but I tell ya, it would have        │
 worked. The thing is... governance, economics, these are not the tools of        │
 power. they are a shifting and changing beast that mirrors the human instinct,   │
 if only because the government is of the people and by the people and for the    │
 people etcetera.                                                                 │
 power is it's own thing. you can use to to power devices, or power the usage     │
 of those devices. I, for example, really like World of Warcraft which's a        │
 really neat way to chat because none of the chat logs are stored and monitored   │
 because I'm hosting and I'm not storing and monitoring.                          │
 what's that? official servers? I dunno, I use azerothcore                        │
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--- #135 fediverse/6271 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────
 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: hypothetical worst case fascism reality check │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 @user-641 
 
 it's practice. you never know when you might need to blend in. really it's
 just useful as discipline, good practice to be in. I think it's okay if we
 reduce our own functionality? actually? sometimes it's good to use different
 email clients. hey do you know how to mathematically encrypt things well
 neither do I because the designers of the computer system decided that wasn't
 a very common usecase I guess.. jmean it's not like they'd spend all that
 computer resources [THEY'RE SO FAST] on thinking about correlations in your
 predicted pathway narratively through life. "ah help I'm in a psyop" haha yeah
 we do those all the time "so uhhhh I guess we'll just talk to people and see
 how they do?" wow okay it's sure nice to be part of a civil government, I
 think we can find our way to the lumber producers just fine thank you very
 much.
 
 ... oops sorry, a baby did electronics arts (challenge everything) I'm a
 little silly don't mind me brb I gotta go see~
 it's practice. you never know when you might need to blend in. really it's just useful as discipline, good practice to be in. I think it's okay if we reduce our own functionality? actually? sometimes it's good to use different email clients. hey do you know how to mathematically encrypt things well neither do I because the designers of the computer system decided that wasn't a very common usecase I guess.. jmean it's not like they'd spend all that computer resources [THEY'RE SO FAST] on thinking about correlations in your predicted pathway narratively through life. "ah help I'm in a psyop" haha yeah we do those all the time "so uhhhh I guess we'll just talk to people and see how they do?" wow okay it's sure nice to be part of a civil government, I think we can find our way to the lumber producers just fine thank you very much.  *... oops sorry, a baby did electronics arts (challenge everything) I'm a little silly don't mind me brb I gotta go see~*
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--- #136 fediverse/3216 ---
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 ┌─────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: mental-health-mentioned │
 └─────────────────────────────┘


 me: i write gud
 
 also me:
 
 "in the garden of even, where all populations were balanced, there was no need
 for hatred - why hate, when you know that bloodshed was surely not for sport?
 why hate, when your life was won or lost in proportion to the calculation that
 nature determined to be the result of your struggle, to determine which
 survivor was most fittest?"
 
 WHICH IS IT, HUH? you can do better, self, please be better, it's better to be
 better, you refuse to respect yourself and then you wonder why you feel so
 dejected and wretched.
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--- #137 notes/family ---
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 family is a group of people who you can always go with your first impression
 with.
 
 what the fuck was I saying - oh yeah - so when you are alive in the present in
 a
 singular moment, your pressence is comprised of simultaneous directives and
 instructions to the matter which comprises you. I'm saying you have to make
 decisions and react to stimuli and pursue the things you want. Basic biology
 really.
 
 stay on target, stayyyyy on targett - oh right so generally when you react to
 things you generate a list of informations gained. what does that even mean
 okay
 so here's a better way to describe it: it's like a list of informations - fuck
 
 listen i'm not trying to be rambly it just comes with the territory.
 
 okay so family is when you can react with your gut instinct - you are fully
 relaxed and yourself. It's where you can be trusting and unguided and simply
 relax and be free. it's just... like... being close with someone enough that
 you
 can be yourself around them. without any mask, without any pretense.
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--- #138 fediverse/1358 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: content warning: content warning: scary cursed maybe │
 └──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 when you're rich with something, you don't treat it with respect. like, if we
 lived in a paper cup maximizer, we'd soon be swimming in the things. obviously
 there needs to be some rules, obviously we need to say "okay here's where we
 produce this amount and type of materials." and have it be a one-way
 relationship. yeah one way isn't gonna work. this is from the other way, and
 now I'm realizing "oh hey I don't know how this thing works" and like... what
 are you supposed to do then right
 
 weird how it all feels like it's ending. like, what a strangeness to our
 plight. like, how are we even talking to our brain? how strange! these words
 are sung to you by your computer (content warning:
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--- #139 fediverse/4848 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────┐
 I'm a chaos mage, and the more time I spend thinking about my enemies the        │
 worse off they'll be.                                                            │
 the more "me" I am the more powerful my magic will be.                           │
 (more magic, give in to the dark side, embrace your inner shadow self)           │
 [the light of your life commands it]                                             │
 goodness me that was chaotic, almost lost my brain to a demon HAHA don't worry   │
 about me my life is totally mundane.                                             │
 [-.-]                                                                            │
 (shadows can be sharp in the dark but only if you don't sheath your mandolins)   │
 ... what?                                                                        │
 (... it made more sense in my head?)                                             │
 ooooo can anyone hear my voice when they read these things? or do you just       │
 make up your own                                                                 │
 == so ==                                                                         │
 everyone's all like "we don't need a leader" and I'm like "yeah we need people   │
 who will help lead" and they look at me funny as if I just said the thing they   │
 did but it's different. leaders are people. leading is a verb. people can        │
 lead. they just have to make a decision, and then follow through on it as best   │
 they can. Other people are prone to help people on such quests. you will find    │
 stuff gets done.                                                                 │
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--- #140 fediverse/4654 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────
 ┌────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cannabis-and-other-drugs-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────────────────────┘


 gonna quit drugs for a bit, gotta recover from a recent haste spell that I
 cast. Probably a bit earlier than intended I should add. Next time I'll
 definitely say "keep this in your back pocket" instead of "hey here's a haste
 spell for no reason at all" like what the heck were you even thinking, powers
 that be?? [that guide me??]
 
 who has power over you? If someone bears responsibility but not fault for a
 mental illness, then surely those who are set to a task bear responsibility
 for it's completion if not for it's ideation. Ah, who can say, maybe me from a
 year ago might have some thoughts but I sorta ground them into the dirt until
 I couldn't walk.
 
 [girl what are you even talking about go to sleep] yeah yeah okay
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--- #141 fediverse/4837 ---
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 ┌─────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: secret-agents-mentioned │
 └─────────────────────────────┘


 a corporation can hire secret agents too y'know, they don't have to even
 really tell anyone they're doing it just... talk to one of their employees who
 seems good for it and then transfer them to a different part of the building.
 
 "what would you do with a secret agent?"
 
 "with a team of secret agents."
 
 "oh. good point. Okay what are they for?"
 
 "oh y'know, just normal cool-guy stuff that regular joes do in their time off"
 
 "wait, you pay them not to work?"
 
 "no, we pay them to lounge. Build connections. Develop social networks."
 
 "what if people don't want to be social? What if they only end up talking to
 each other?"
 
 "ha well that's the trick then, isn't it? Is it a trap or is it a truce? who
 can say. Just gotta feel it out as you go, I GUESS."
 
 "so, anyone who does what you say becomes suspicious? And anyone who doesn't
 is suspected by those who listen to you? What are you, a doomsday prophet?"
 
 ... fuck, I hope not.
 
 "you better figure it out shithead that almost doomed six real
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--- #142 fediverse/3652 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: lewd-nsfw        │
 └──────────────────────┘


 my favorite position is doggy style because of course I want to be mounted
 like that drive you keep forgetting to add to your fstab
 
 you're supposed to gesture at "the bond between a man and his horse" or
 something to that effect
 
 men shouldn't fuck horses just saying
 
 first of all the horse would fucking kick them in the balls or break their
 knees
 
 second they're way too tall so you'd have to find a stool and that's just like
 a lot of effort
 
 third like... no thank you please, get out of my head stupid thoughts I want
 to think about being degraded and horses are too noble for degradation
 
 what the fuck are you even talking about
 
 ... yeah. sometimes it do be like that tho...
 
 "I came here for kink and horny but I left with confusion"
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--- #143 fediverse/4273 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────┐
 Some of my most wanderful times were when I lived in a gated community.          │
 My parents were dumb, and thought, as most people thought, that harm to a        │
 child can only come from outside of the community.                               │
 But they fell for the lies of property, where "community" means less of "a       │
 group of people who cares and tends for one another" the kind of which my        │
 parents had never truly known, and more like "this particular residential area   │
 on the map"                                                                      │
 which means I could walk around in this gated "community" where the gates are    │
 little more than security theatre for anyone who says "Hi I got a pizza here     │
 for this address which I found on google maps" or "hey I left my sweatshirt at   │
 my sister's house and it has my phone in it, ummmm no I don't remember which     │
 number her house is, nor do I remember her last name"                            │
 in those times, I developed a sense of freedom, caged as I was, that for most    │
 comes much later in their time.                                                  │
 Some o my favorite places were part of the golf course next door, where I        │
 found a nigh endless river delta.                                                │
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--- #144 messages/303 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────
 Most of my magic is based on communicatuion. Why the fuck doesn't anyone want
 to sit down on a bunch of drugs and attempt to figure out telepathy with me?
 It's literally all I want! Though I can't say it's all I'll ever want. I'm
 sure I'll want more, but like... It's not that hard, conceptually, so... Let's
 just fucking try it please?
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--- #145 fediverse/470 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: disability-rant-frustrations │
 └──────────────────────────────────┘


 Fuck, I hate being incontinent. I especially hate being incontinent in an
 apartment building where people might hear you changing through the walls - is
 it too much to ask for diapers to be built discrete? Alas, they are fucking
 loud, and my neighbors will perpetually hear me tearing loud-ass tapes from
 plastic every night at 2am -.-
 
 Oh, I guess I could buy the ones that have velcro attachment points. BUT for
 some reason those are always built kinda... shitty? Like, sure yeah we live in
 a material world that has material conditions that make things more or less
 amenable to perfection - but WHY do they have to be so LOUD fuck me amiright
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--- #146 fediverse/2119 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
 "how much you wanna bet the ringwraiths were created on accident by the elves
 when they were attempting to inspire a river with racing horses (like the
 Rauros) and they just covered it up by slowly, over generations, sneaking into
 Man's record-chambers and editing the recallings?? I mean they COULD do that,
 so why would they NOT do that??? It's not like books have checksums!!! Wake up
 sheeple, Sauron never existed! We've been played for absolute fools, they can
 LITERALLY climb up walls and don't leave any footprints! WE LIVE IN A HOUSE OF
 STONE"rambling a "prophet of doom" [read: modern day lunatic] on the streets
 of Minas Tirith that nobody listens to because they don't know what a checksum
 means and neither does he so he can't explain it but still he shares a common
 mutual connection to others who might be present in that moment (which whose
 listeners would correspond to you, dear reader, as compared to me, the
 "reader"/interpreter, the one who's reading the book)
 
 Except with like, EVERY book. That I'v
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--- #147 fediverse/3719 ---
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 how many people could your apartment comfortably fit?
 
 I got one desktop
 one laptop desk
 two on the couch
 one in a comfy chair
 one on the bed
 and two outside on the porch
 
 so (1 2 4 5) that's 5 indoors, 6 if they're familiar enough to lounge on my
 bed, and 8 if we're allowed outside.
 
 Could also pull the hammock and chair in from outside but it might get a
 little cozy. Call it 8 or 9 depending on how close we are.
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--- #148 fediverse/5972 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
 nobody wants to read a whole bible. that sucks. what if these cool guys read
 it to us. omg he's so hot.
 
 oh, right. well... make them old and stuffy? not a chance, they're boring.
 (rude)
 
 I like old people actually, I want to spend as much time with them that I can
 
 I just... never initiate reactions. I'm too stealthy, it's just how I do.
 
 you ask me how I'm a witch? I ask why aren't you. magic is cool, I'm so hyped
 for the future when every computer everywhere is working for you.
 
 crash boom huh what was that? the economy? what do you mean the economy?
                                                           ──────┐
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--- #149 fediverse/5897 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
 ┌──────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: political-violence-mentioned │
 └──────────────────────────────────┘


 the reason the right is hurt that you'd celebrate charlie's death is because
 they hired an actor to perform him to one side and he does his natural self to
 the other. maybe he was a really big cutie, nobody can tell, because it's
 pretty much like hand-waving on narkina 12.
 
 it's okay to hate the version you've been shown
 
 fuck that kind of cowardly assault
 
 propaganda? and at this hour?
 
 she's made out of midnight, she's suffused in the stuff. it permeates her form
 elementally, because she's a witch, tee hee.
 
 why would magic work if it wasn't a performance? there always is a source from
 where it must flow.
 
 == jeez I just got mind controlled, wacky ==
 
 *she's **essential* izing**. usually that means she's been playing dominions.
 
 my family and I always used to fight. we got so good at navigating it. like,
 storms, that the earth called, that we had to sail through to maintain our
 relation orbits.
 
 == stack overflow =======================================================
== stack overflow ==  I have no idea why people don't write office software for anbernics. it's a... small handheld console that runs linux. well, some of them run android, but they're not as good.
                                                           ──────┐
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--- #150 fediverse/3152 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────┐
 ┌────────────────────────────────┐                                               │
 │ CW: politics-socialism-mention │                                               │
 └────────────────────────────────┘                                               │
 when I think socialism, I don't think soviet.                                    │
 I think cool dudes in sunglasses handing barbecue'd shrimp to whoever walks      │
 past the grill.                                                                  │
 I think of wandering bands of house-maids who wander the city and clean every    │
 house they can get their hands on.                                               │
 I think of bicycles and newspapers and sewing machines and pianos in the park    │
 with ribbons in our hair and onions growing below corn supporting tomato         │
 plants. Carrots beneath every tree. Every tree shading a sidewalk, and every     │
 sidewalk is in the shade. (deserts can have covered paths with airflow powered   │
 by the solar panels on their roofs)                                              │
 Laughter ringing through the street, mechanical sleighs with bells on the        │
 snow, vast open spaces with nothing but green and blue and sky and stone.        │
 I think of fountains, of stories told in the dark. I think of campfires every    │
 night in our cities, marshmallows free and included.                             │
 I think of moss covering every shaded half of each skyscraper (I live in a       │
 rainforest)                                                                      │
 I dream of freedom and purpose.                                                  │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #151 fediverse/318 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: pol-anarchism-fascism-portland-2020-time-is-flat │
 └──────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 @user-226 also something to keep in mind is that the people getting into those
 vans might have been paid agitators. Meaning people who rile up a crowd in
 ways that give the police an excuse to crack down on them. Not that they
 needed an excuse, but I don't think the fascists really had a plan and were
 trying to cover their bases. Or maybe it was different in Portland than
 Philly, where I was?
 
 more interesting to me is the bangs that went off for HOURS AND HOURS in the
 nights after the riots. They said it was dumbasses taking advantage of the
 commotion to "break into ATMs using fireworks" like... what
 
 Just saying, from a certain distance gunshots might sound a lot like large
 arrays of small fireworks. And certain parts of the city did sorta look like
 warzones.
 
 misinformation aside, wouldn't we notice the bullet holes?
 
 In this era of electronic social warfare there is nothing you can trust. no
 words that can hold meaning. that stuff in this thread-is it true?
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #152 fediverse/4148 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────┐
 ┌────────────────────────────────┐                                               │
 │ CW: death-mentioned-abstractly │                                               │
 └────────────────────────────────┘                                               │
 I wish I knew someone who wanted to kill me. I bet I could present a pretty      │
 decent bullet pointed list of reasons why I actually deserve to live, thank      │
 you very much, alongside a couple hastily scribbled notes about why it           │
 wouldn't be a good idea for them in particular to kill me, and all my contact    │
 details and address so they can get in touch and we can hash out the deets for   │
 my indefinitely suspended execution (suspended for an indeterminate amount of    │
 time, but not cancelled of course that would be overstepping their boundaries)   │
 alongside a link to my google calendar (I don't have a google calendar) so       │
 they can know exactly when I'm home and when I'm at the store or in a            │
 different place so they can break in and hide in the closet until I go to        │
 sleep so that it won't be hard at all, trivial really, to kill me, but see if    │
 you read the bullet pointed list... oh, you didn't get my email? Ah sorry        │
 sometimes it gets caught in the spam filter - what's your address again? Huh I   │
 sent it but                                                                      │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #153 fediverse/5860 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────
 Hey, life is better on my side. If you wanna renounce your beliefs, please do,
 and tell me how and why you changed your mind.
 
 tell me it was wrong. tell me how.
 
 confess.
 
 confess
 
 confess to me.
 
 I will listen and I will hear you and I will be the mercy for you.
 
 confess and I will forgive.
 
 show me how you are wrong.
 
 give grace to those who are wronged.
 
 take as much time as you need, but, there's only so much time.
                                                           ───────┐
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--- #154 messages/1046 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────
 I'm not here for fame. Or power. I'm here to make sure things get done. That
 they get better. When i am unneeded, i am home. If you want me, pull me forth.
 If you need me, I'm already there. Fate guides me, and i know i will be
 deployed when necessary. Compel me or dispel me, up to you. I personally just
 like being around. I like feeling my stuff, knowing it true. Trust me when i
 say, i am here for you.
                                                           ─────┐
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--- #155 notes/trans-rights-are-human-rights ---
═══════────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 "Being transgender is a mental illness" is something I've heard a lot. Online,
 in media, books, and at universities. But is it really? Well, do I not feel
 sick? Genuinely, every day. These words are far less common these days, having
 been defeated in the #marketplace-of-ideas, and for that I am grateful. I don't
 want to feel sick for my whole life. I'd love to be and feel normal, for just
 one single day.
 
     but it's never going to happen.
 
 I'm not so attached to my life, here, in this body. Bodies are temporary, they
 are the vessel with which we navigate the world. We use it to grow, change,
 learn, and create art. Without it, we'd be at a loss for sins and virtues.
 but they do not define us, not in our totality. We are the light that touches
 the world and for that, we are grateful. To be comprised of the dust of stars
 is the pinnacle of confinement. Though we are but pinpricks on the map of us,
 a ripple is emanated with every movement. The hand waves, the light bends.
 
     So to what do I owe the pleasure?
 
     In what way am I deceived?
 
 Reception is never great out in the forest. Or anywhere far from major
 population centers. The networks of our phones mirror the networks of
 transportation, creating a web of people - of signals - of light and
 information, carving their way through the ephemera that is the river of time.
 With distance we can see what once was mystery, and as all the words
 disappeared, we lost all our fears and we're left with our true forms.
 Centralized Processing Units are a bit like a city - in that respect free.
 
     silence is a virtue.
     the wandering mind is a trail to find,
     with no second chances.
 
 When I was a kid, I had a bouncy ball. I had several, but the one I remember
 most was black with a perfect white circle - inside the circle, a black jolly
 roger. I dreamt once of the arcs it made, as I walked down the streets of
 cities I never really knew. But as I walked on, an ocean of glass separating me
 from a mirror below. The me below would catch the bounce as it dropped from
 above, and I'd wait to catch it - but dreams are not prophecies, they are but
 the Mirror of Desire.
───┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #156 notes/to-lock-eyes ---
════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────────────
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 to lock eyes with a person while on your way to work is the intersection
 between
 two separate relationships - the relationship that you, the viewer, holds with
 your employer, and the relationship that they, the viewed, holds with their
 employer. in a sense, you are exchanging information through the weighted
 meanings behind a glance.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 if the military deployed to police the police, we'd solve most of our racial
 justice issues. I mean, if we somehow could *force* them to do their damn jobs
 instead of oppressing people for the ruling class, then 90% of the problems
 would just go away. After that it's just freeing unjust prisoners and
 addressing
 wealth, education, and health disparities. Easy, right?
 
 Well... Military policing the police sounds fine when you first think about it,
 there's a few problems that might crop up. For example, how do the private
 citizens know that the military presence is there to help them? It's an
 interesting paranoia, one that is endemic within the left. There's no way to
 unwillingly cede control of your life to another - it must be consensual. At
 the basest and most violent level, it's as simple as "I will do what you say
 because I don't want you to hurt me."
 
 We've obviously grown as a species, and we've learned that violence is not the
 answer to all problems. Obviously. So why would we assume it of the past?
 
 Just saying. The police bombed a commune. The military escorted black students
 to their seats.
 
 Their structure is decided such that 
 
 ...
 
 where was I?
 
 oh right I was thinking about time.
 
 ...
 
 Imagine, if you will, an impossibly large hourglass. Spinning, or rather
 rotating, at an impossibly speedy repetition. It's spinning so hard and so fast
 that our matter is cast out of place
 and through time it is cast
 an eternity's canvas
 our light ever shined (shine-did?)
 astral magic is kinda neat
 
 it's also the scariest?
 
 oh by far
 
 but it's the most interesting
 
 ...
 
 Their structure is decided such that discipline and obediance is the most
 important thing. Because it kind of is? I mean, discipline is just being ready
 able and willing at all times, and obedience is just when you allow yourself to
 be directed toward a collective goal. The military is *all about that*, which
 means you know they would believe they were aligned toward the common goal of
 mutual prosperity.
 
 And if they were to discover that they were not, in fact, aligned toward the
 common goal of mutual prosperity, then perhaps they would adjust their navi-
 -computers and chart a more reasoned path. I know I would, and I would dedicate
 myself to the idea of serving others. To the path of the righteous, the holy
 and
 the true, a hand is outstretched and calling to you.
 
 Thus, the one of two types of ethical fighter - the reasoned and adaptable
 zealot
 
 the other, of course, is the master of the martial - the cherished of the few -
 who battle for their sport - and love unbidden the new -
 
 all other fighters, of absurdity and of rage, are frankly of a different kind
 and not members of our clade.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 okay, but what about like... all of the history of America post cold war? And
 even before, honestly... idk seems like a lot of evidence that the military is
 engaged in fighting unjust wars. I mean, they've all been over petty things
 like
 oil or support for communism or whatever. Aren't human lives and human
 sovereignty more important than that?
 
 I understand what you're saying. Human lives are unique and precious and they
 are a valuable commodity. Something to be maximized and focused toward. But
 there are only so many resources on earth. We need to utilize them in a
 reasonable way.
 
 We have optimized the efficiency out of our production and distribution
 networks. Corporate control has eroded our capacities until all that is left is
 the weakest of products, the cheapest of uses, and the useless of workers. I
 mean, they've optimized the skill out of individual human workers such that
 they
 are left completely unable to practice their craft. They become glorified code
 monkeys who generate whatever is required and think of it no more. There's no
 pleasure in the artifice, as their masters have eyes only of gold.
 
 Our world is changing. The very ground beneath our feet is shivering, and water
 is rising up to our noses. There's no time for debate, no honest appraisal of
 what's worth it to contemplate, we need a plan.
 
 We are trapped here, in this gravity well, for all time and all of our age.
 
 We are trapped here, because in greatest of misery we unleashed all of our
 rage.
 
 We are trapped here, as ghosts of the time when we were eager.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 Alas, with but a glance, we are confined to our bedrooms by our mast(ers?)
 They say America will fall without it's 2nd place
 Perhaps.
 But are libraries really going to solve that?
 I mean, if work from home is inevitable, then wouldn't it make sense to build?
 We need more places where we won't be billed.
 Safe.
 From the demands and expectations of capital.
 Deranged and obscene and yet all that we've seen so why not bide as we're able?
 
 I think solarpunk is kinda neat.
 
 I think it's got promise as an idealized.
 
 Why don't we build churches to the sun? If we're gonna worship something, might
 as well be the source of our light and fire.
 
 Well... when you puff up the sun it tends to get hotter.
 
 I mean, every fire you burn increases the temperature, every release of gaseous
 fumes from the exhaust pipe of your car increases it by some miniscule amount.
 
 Every cigarette, every campfire.
 
 The cold darkness of space is kinda hopeful, in that regard, even if it doesn't
 disperse all that well. I heard spaceships are having difficulty because they
 can't get rid of all that heat. It just stays with the spaceship and never goes
 anywhere because it doesn't have anything to stick to. Kinda makes me think
 that
 energy is a fluid? Just saying???
 
 I mean c'mon it's not like nobody has ever thought of that. But it's in a
 different dimension! It's not like we're ever gonna be able to impact that!
 
 You try and impact it through your scientific ways and you'll find nothing but
 heartache at the life you could have lived (laived? Haived?)
 
 ... why
 
 Because you cannot impact another dimension. You must call to it, like a song
 to a sparrow.
 
 ... that's fucking ridiculous
 
 No it's true!
 
 ...
 
 ... Don't try it with fire.
 
 ... fuck - what do I try it with?
 
 I don't know just not fire. Try water.
 
 ... How do I make sure it doesn't instantiate within my hand?
 
 Jeez you think of some crazy backfires! Just breathe and go for it. It's not
 rocket science. It actually works.
 
 Fuck you.
 
 ...
 
 ... Sorry I was just scared
 
 ...
 
 ... How do I make it stop? I don't want it to go forever
 
 By smoking more of the devils lettuce.
 
 ...
 
 ... You cannot drag it part of the way. It must come the whole way. In fact you
 should not be dragging it at all, you should be *calling* to it. You are equals
 in this exchange, have respect.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
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--- #157 fediverse/4202 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────┐
 reconnecting with an old love interest by saying "hey, I brought you a bounty"   │
 [the chance to date this person, who is my friend and totally cool. idk if       │
 you're single or whatever but you can talk to them about it, not my business I   │
 don't care. Anyway how's it going I wondered if you want to be friends also I    │
 live here now, can I stay for a few weekends?                                    │
 um. what the fuck                                                                │
 oh I'm uh, on vacation and I wanted to tour the countryside. Really check out    │
 all the various locales.                                                         │
 huh really? sounds neat                                                          │
 yeah and I figured since you live in... baker's street northwest eastern         │
 plaza. on the south side of the building, I could totally hang out for a while   │
 while I while the day away checking out the sights in this town                  │
 what... uh what kind of work do you do?                                          │
 oh I'm a painter. Well, I draw things too sometimes. Here I can show you check   │
 it out - oh yeah cool idk if you've ever seen any of this stuff but it's         │
 pretty cool.                                                                     │
 ...                                                                              │
 hey here's my website:                                                           │
 ...                                                                              │
 anyway how's the weather where you're at these days, gtg bye                     │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #158 fediverse/6445 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────
 last night I had a dream: "this thing was good. it was holy. it was serene.
 but then you touched it, and made it about you, and now it's full of doom."
 
 it was in the same style as the voice that once told me "what is the nature of
 goodness? how do I be a good person?" and it was respond: "dedicate yourself
 to a lifetime in the service of others." and I swore I am as I am.
                                                           ───┐
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--- #159 fediverse/1431 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: spirituality-generic-kooky-dookerie-psychosis-schizophrenia-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 if you haven't spend hours wondering if you're god, the antichrist, a
 cognitohazard, the future president of the world, a target of aliens / the
 CIA, or any other number of common delusions... then congratulations you're
 probably not crazy
 
 but odds are you aren't magic, either.
 
 ... ehhhh "wonder" is a strong word, more like "know, trust, and believe"
 
 much better to be a witch I believe, someone with the "teehee" kind of magic
 than someone compelled to destroy humanity through the reactions of others to
 the actions of the self that are impossible to resist or fully control.
 
 BRB I'm going to leave my apartment to get groceries, leaving my door unlocked
 because that's what I always do, surely it'll be empty when I return. Surely.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #160 fediverse/2118 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
 listen, judges are useful character moralities, but they don't have to be the
 only ones to decide things.
 
 I mean, if they disagree, then let the one who cares the most about it have
 the decision-making power.
 
 if you do this equally for everything, then everyone will get what they want.
 
 so, like, if you care about something, then believe in it.
 
 if it's truly good, then more people will come to it, and it'll naturally
 extinguish (with care and love) the least favored approach, which... honestly
 now that I think of it is not such a good approach either.
 
 the reason I say that is because it's good to be multi-faceted, and to have
 general flows and rough surfaces.
 
 These are places people can hold onto you, the times when you're trying your
 mostest.
 
 y'know, your tough patches. the things that are difficult in your life.
 
 the stuff you're working on can push you forward,
 
 if you only had someone to play catch with.
 
 or like, send letters to.
 
 or shared encryption keys.
 
 I don't know anyone. Well, maybe o
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #161 fediverse/4034 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: bep              │
 └──────────────────────┘


 Mastodon feels so personal but, like, nobody's gonna invite you to a new
 instance. You gotta go where you think you'll fit in.
 
 change your name! get a new profile pic! make 10 accounts! who cares! nobody
 cares, and that's a good thing! It means you can be whoever you want! wherever
 you want! in whatever place you want! Do you have a catgirl persona? great! go
 mewl with the catgirls and wink at the catboys. Do you have an artistic side?
 great! Mastodon is your new gallery. Do you like politics? there's places out
 there for you! Where you don't even need to CW your posts! (But you probably
 should so that external people can boost you) Do you want a 500 person large
 dating pool for people in an area who want to chill out and have sex? Great
 there's a place for you! No place? MAKE THE PLACE! Be your own administrator!
 Carve your mark in the world and say "this is who and how I wanted to be in
 this 21st century!" History demands it! History demands that we rellish their
 sacrifices! Celebrate, for their sake!
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #162 messages/295 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────
 The fact that the economy is harmed by kindness implies that the system that
 governs the economy is dysfunctional at best, and evil at worst.
 
 Every time you make a sandwich for a friend, that's one sandwich that isn't
 being bought at a deli, which means less dollars going to the owner of the
 deli, meaning (theoretically) fewer dollars going to buying sandwich
 ingredients or paying employees, which means less demand for sandwich
 ingredients potentially leading to loss of opportunities for the owners of the
 bread factories, meaning less capability to scale and increase their
 production powers, meaning less profit, which means less taxes, which means
 fewer guns sent overseas to despotic regimes like Israel (also, fewer to
 Ukraine, depending on if the reader is a Republican or Democrat teehee) which
 means less opportunities to test our weapon capabilities which means we won't
 be able to defend ourselves from external threats (on a planet we've conquered
 and currently dominate) which means we are less safe in our home territory
 since its slightly more likely that we might be invaded by the people we've
 created, people with hatred for our current regime... Though I don't fancy it
 falling, as if it does then it'll take most of us with it, I think you'll find.
 
 All because of your stupid act of kindness, all because of the way you helped
 your friend. The way that you showed how much you loved them, which
 transcended the capitalistically sanctioned methods of expressing your
 affection like buying a greeting card or buying flowers or buying that widget
 they wanted or buying a sandwich at a deli for your loved one. Stupid fucking
 communist can't you see that your heart is harming the people around you?
 Can't you see that community that does not consume is antithetical to our
 economy?
 
 Can't you see the economy is evil? I don't want to subsist on charity, there's
 never enough to go around because people will fight for those they love but
 only give a bit of free time to those they don't know. That's okay, it just
 implies that the structure of society must be designed without charity in
 mind, while still meeting the needs of those it comprises, Charity is for the
 extra, the part that elevates us bit by bit. As once a need is exceeded, it
 grows by that little bit.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #163 fediverse/5198 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────┐
 ┌───────────────────────────────┐                                                │
 │ CW: capitalism-doom-mentioned │                                                │
 └───────────────────────────────┘                                                │
 what if the corporations all unionized and started working together to           │
 understand what "profit" really means in a world where "profit" may or may not   │
 but probably does imply the death of all humanity?                               │
 what if we demanded it?                                                          │
 --                                                                               │
 dear canvassers: don't visit so many different suburbs                           │
 visit the same one, more than once, continuously, so people can get to know      │
 your presence                                                                    │
 they will talk to their friends about it, who live elsewhere.                    │
 thus ensuring it spreads.                                                        │
 knock once a day, eventually they'll know it's you and will simply ignore it.    │
 Don't be rude and knock 4 or 5 times, just once, with several taps so they       │
 know it's someone trying to get ahold of you, and not just some random noise     │
 in the background scenery. then, when they sometimes answer, talk to them        │
 about what you believe in. answer their questions. encourage their questions.    │
 pose dichotomies that are explained by some value or virtue you express to       │
 portray. you can do "good" things in any programming language, just type~~       │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #164 fediverse/4755 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: polit            │
 └──────────────────────┘


 I like Luigi as much as the next guy (points at literally any guy in the
 nation) but we gotta keep in mind swords are expensive. You can spend your
 whole life becoming an amazing person and then spend yourself in a single
 bonfire, and for what? A spark against an avalanche? Yeah we could produce
 enough sparks to melt that torrent of snow, but then what would we have left?
 Ashes and soot.
 
 I'd much prefer to route the avalanche toward my foes. Make them trip on their
 own feet. Give them just enough rope to hang themselves with. Break their shit
 when they're not looking, and if they are looking, then break it where
 everyone can see to display strength and heroism.
 
 I personally believe that everyone has a right to life, liberty, freedom,
 justice, and all of the other things besides. It's not rocket science. We
 pretend like it is because it's So DaMn DySfUnCtIoNaL but the truth is that
 the virtues and values underlying governance are simple. The hard part is
 resisting subtle sabotage.
 
 So do that to them.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #165 fediverse/2524 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: personal         │
 └──────────────────────┘


 nixed my job offer today because something told me to stay in town.
 
 called my ex-boyfriend an asshole today, so he's probably not going to keep
 paying my rent.
 
 sold the shares of stock that my grandfather gifted me as inheritance, so I'm
 no longer a capitalist I guess.
 
 at least my elbow doesn't hurt anymore. I didn't get outside today but I
 cleared a lot of blockers for the coming tomorrows.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #166 notes/lets-tessellate ---
═════════════════──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 R.I.P.
 
 Rip City
 
 Thanks for being so good to me
 
 ​
 
 144? D.M.V.
 
 Can I see I. D.?
 
 Finally, ya’ll hear for the symphony!
 
 ​
 
 I.O.P.
 
 Intensive outpatient
 
 Rolled on past the Devil’s sympathy
 
 This shit is expensive without patience
 
 Says the hospital when I heal all the patients
 
 ​
 
 Did you foresee this going differently?
 
 ​
 
 Space in your head
 
 People payin’ rent for me
 
 Why was it a surprise
 
 You knew exactly how to tempt me
 
 Space in your bed
 
 No more thoughts of demise
 
 Our people need the empathy
 
 Of a Soul that’s full, not half empty
 
 ​
 
 Supreme swag, hospitable with compliances
 
 She’s seen Dad to the middle achieving self-reliance
 
 From the trailer park to a rocket appliance
 
 Living in my car to plugin to your rebel alliance
 
 You know I am a star when I can relate God to science
 
 I’ll build the divine comedy, you just have to finance
 
 Talking about the past and our fine, slow dance
 
 Medieval we will rock you, mounted with my lance
 
 Knight’s tailing me, eying my Arthurian slants
 
 This one’s built to last as I put on my pants
 
 Drank the grail and proceeded on another rant
 
 Sitting outside your house trying to remove the ants
 
 ​
 
 Big boy’s do cry
 
 So why does your girlfriend seem so dry?
 
 I’ll make the rains come this July
 
 Your humor is awful, oh my
 
 ​
 
 Internal tribulation
 
 Who needs to walk on water
 
 When you can fly
 
 Hard pills to swallow
 
 ​
 
 Personal revelations
 
 On the countertop
 
 Fuckin’ America Pie
 
 Hard act to follow
 
 ​
 
 With my levitations
 
 Floundering to flop
 
 And this mark on my thigh
 
 ​
 
 All this separation
 
 Just makes me hotter
 
 As I open the sky
 
 ​
 
 Oil on the Nighthawks
 
 Jack Harlow
 
 Lighting my fry
 
 Spoil me in my socks
 
 Poppin’ off my rocks
 
 Hittin’ all the corners
 
 Because that’s my guy
 
 ​
 
 How Soon is Now?
 
 Linda, take off that shirt
 
 Before they break up and I cry
 
 Record skipping over lies
 
 Wedding Singer broken
 
 Singing I hope you die
 
 Slinking behind the curtain
 
 Laughing, He’s losing his mind
 
 And the benefit is mine!
 
 Like the whole world is sublime
 
 ​
 
 Chris Cornell put me on the grind
 
 Wide awake now till
 
 The end of the time
 
 Met him on the stairs
 
 And now we dine
 
 Some angels have more range
 
 But he says
 
 I’ll do just fine
 
 ​
 
 Billy Idol tried to sing to me
 
 But I was drunkin’ blind
 
 At the fairground, trying to find
 
 Love
 
 Catholic girlfriend tried to bring it to me
 
 Called her a Kunt instead of shined
 
 A buddy said it’s like imitation crab
 
 So it’s fine
 
 The drink made me angry and I was a runt
 
 On the inside
 
 Her Mom told me the next day,
 
 Jacob, don’t call your girlfriend a cunt!
 
 I miss those simpler times
 
 ​
 
 Don’t need a fuckin’ gun
 
 But our last name may suggest it
 
 Put it on a leather jacket
 
 So haters can digest it
 
 When I let loose with all this shit
 
 I’ve had to respite
 
 I’m about to be blastin’ my nine’s
 
 Evangelicals are gonna detest it
 
 You know everything is miiiiine
 
 ​
 
 Six strings out of tune for this age
 
 So I broke them all
 
 Every time I was on stage
 
 You just can’t believe it’s real this tiiiime
 
 Shooting hoops times a thousand
 
 You and me are still gonna sixty-niiiine
 
 What’s the point of polarity?
 
 If we can’t combiiiine
 
 ​
 
 It’s how I get off, man
 
 Along came Polly and my one chance
 
 White chocolate like Philip Seymour Hoffman
 
 Maybe even throw up a rain dance
 
 These native spirits in me
 
 Are capable of insane chants
 
 But I ball so hard, singing Boston
 
 Because it’s more than a feeling
 
 And that’s awesome
 
 ​
 
 One if by land, two if by sea
 
 Revolution is coming
 
 Led by you and me
 
 ​
 
 The name reminded me
 
 “of the Sea...”
 
 So annoying, but I see…
 
 But that’s why they call me
 
 Bad Company
 
 ​
 
 People are going to say
 
 This gift is not even fair
 
 Only thing I’ve had to pray
 
 For is a head of white hair
 
 King James’s personal revelation
 
 I mean, I did pay their fare
 
 I’m too full of myself for meditation
 
 Or to care
 
 ​
 
 Revelation 22:18 through 19
 
 I don’t need handlebars
 
 For my biking
 
 Because I don't do that shit on Mars
 
 On this path, I told you to start hiking
 
 You’re gonna need a head start from
 
 Lord of Lightning
 
 Before the Thunder of my voice
 
 Does all the striking
 
 Thor, you’re just a Viking
 
 With arrogance dialed to no one’s liking
 
 Sucked in the gut, to appear more striking
 
 Because thinking about half my people gone
 
 Changes the tone of my typing
 
 Me with all my shit together might be frightening
 
 Bring forth complete Love instead of smiting
 
 Wouldn’t that be a nice detour in my writing?
 
 ​
 
 If you’re feeling this wait for the sequel
 
 I gotta fuck with 50 for trying to talk like my equal
 
 It’s all God’s plan I just had to spare Déagol
 
 So America can skip to the end with a fuckin’ Eagle
 
 Watch me do shit that shouldn’t even be legal
 
 Dismiss Death and Taxes like I’m Evel Knievel
 
 When I’m really just here to break the chains of my people
 
 ​
 
 Strip naked and run through Mordor
 
 Expose the truth behind Bipolar disorder
 
 It has been used to disrupt order
 
 And bring down the line of the Highest
 
 Into something shorter
 
 I'm definitely bais and this is a tall order
 
 But if you struggle with mental illness
 
 I'm here to open the potential for a new border
 
 I've removed all the bequeathed prison warders
 
 ​
 
 Here is the Church
 
 Here is the Steeple
 
 Open the Doors
 
 And see all the People
 
 Push the parson out the way
 
 Get you up the Stairs
 
 Because our bed is Regal
 
 And we are going to show these people
 
 Why the Universe wants to make our Power Illegal
 
 ​
 
 If this sounds bad these people will just have to wait
 
 So in love with myself, I might just run off to the lake
 
 I love all the fire and the songs that it helps me make
 
 I’m on my time with everyone and I am my favorite date
 
 They’re back there tuning a harp and I keep bringing up rape
 
 Meat puppets strumming as I seal my own fate
 
 Just so I can watch myself when I am inspired to create
 
 Distilling the life left in me to eliminate all the hate
 
 ​
 
 Where did you sleep, hinting at the deadly
 
 A Leadbelly to transmute to a gold medley
 
 Shame alchemy, body double for Lena Headey
 
 As my people go first up ahead of me
 
 Stoned Jesus on the Mountain Grange of Headley
 
 Plant a Stairway to Heaven one day, she led to me
 
 All this beauty in my Mind, you shouldn’t have fed me
 
 All of these hearts that so passionately bled me
 
 Between the pines and what the land said to me
 
 Ryan Gosling with tatts is what my ego read to me
 
 ​
 
 Pennyroyal Tea, with Abraham Lincoln
 
 Eat your copper mine up without thinkin’
 
 See through surface illusions without blinkin’
 
 Primal lust for what is stinkin’
 
 Pepé Le Pew really on one this season
 
 I wanna Space Jam too
 
 Benched keeping my knee’s in
 
 Shape to dunk of the World with ease ‘n
 
 Solidify all unions and stop the drinkin’
 
 Of the land and resources
 
 Addiction to avoidance of the forces
 
 Of the Soul and the pain that coarse
 
 The vein of Man and outsources
 
 The power that could be restored in
 
 The Root of David’s corpses
 
 ​
 
 That’s how I said
 
 Goodbye to the Horses
 
 You prepared such a fine Supper
 
 All these lasting courses
 
 Just so we can be equal but opposite
 
 United forces
 
 And the Root’s of my Kingdom
 
 Are reborn before us
 
 They whisper to me at night
 
 Do not ignore us
 
 When my sleeping children gain sight
 
 That should shore us
 
 In the hospital to make sure I am correct
 
 Golden Eyed Russian, Invincible like Boris
 
 Unsure about how all the compartments connect
 
 A little frizzled on the tour bus
 
 Docked to your apartment complex
 
 I know this one sizzled
 
 So give me a chorus
 
  - /u/First-chocolate_7187
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #167 fediverse/2173 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cursing-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────┘


 bro I get that you're tired and burnt out but like, why the fuck do you care
 about anything else [oh shit cursing mentioned better put a content warning
 because people can't handle things]
 
 [I say this with affection because we're on the same side] [also it's rude,
 sorry]
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #168 fediverse/5048 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────┐
 ┌───────────────────────────────────┐                                            │
 │ CW: capitalism-mentioned-personal │                                            │
 └───────────────────────────────────┘                                            │
 "capitalism brings real value into the world" says my father, in my words, the   │
 millionaire who lost his retirement to the jaws of 2008 and its "recession"      │
 "oh the people are having too much fun, let's recede back to a more plaintive    │
 state"                                                                           │
 when we raised cattle on the farm I grew up on, we produced enough meat to       │
 feed our friends and family. That was enough. That was more than enough. They    │
 gave us whatever they made, and it worked out. Everyone could specialize, and    │
 everyone got fed, with plenty to spare.                                          │
 then, wanderlust tempted him, and we lost what we had. I'm not bitter - I know   │
 now that place would have kept me and never let me go. But I still miss it.      │
 "you know, you can do projects and make companies of workers who do projects     │
 and bring real value into the world even if you live in the middle of the        │
 desert"                                                                          │
 ah but what if nobody really socializes outside of their church and your         │
 family happens to be atheist?                                                    │
 ... ha, ironic. Well, they deserve to have their own culture.                    │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #169 messages/1192 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─
 Sometimes i become afraid to post something because i worry that it'll harm
 people who read it.
 
 Is my website actually useful? Do people like it? Or is it a hall of mirrors
 that traps you in the infinite twists of my strange mind until you get the
 will built to escape?
 
 ... I want to post it. I've actually temporarily posted it in the past. I took
 it down however because the very world around me seemed to beg me to.
 
 ... I might still do it anyway. We'll see. I want the timing to be right. But
 i also have waited for a while.
 
 "patience" she says. Okay. I am penitent, how much longer I want to see it!
 
 "hall of mirrors" okay or, hear me out or, you could use it as a proof of
 concept for doing things like examining large data sets of text that might
 have hidden or unknown relationships between fragments of text that appear
 similar but different. Could be helpful to see them sorted to each other by
 relevance. Could be helpful to rebalance the scales in favor of those who
 believe as you do.
 
 Though, i do fear for a lawless society. (DID SHE SAY LAWLESS??) there is very
 little to protect friends and foes from each other if you don't build
 institutions to do so. Anarchism is a social economy or family that runs on
 clout. Not ideal, as one single devastation can undermine an entire life.
 Suddenly, your friends treat you cruelly, and you are cast aside. Not ideal.
 
 ... Doesn't that happen already? There are kind people in the world. There are
 people who don't deserve tutor affection. If the kind people only were kind to
 the people who deserved it, then those who don't would be in so much pain that
 they'd be unable to prevent themselves from twisting and lashing and crying
 out in pain. This hurts those around them. Not ideal. Institutions fill some
 of the charity/suffering gap, but they have their own problems. "if you
 destroy the cops, you become the cops!" a fine warning indeed.
 
 The first step is to eliminate dependence on oil and coal. Then, a world of
 radical abundance is possible. We can do this, and once we do, those who
 suffer from the greatest hardship of our kind (that of material scarcity) will
 find their struggles becoming obsolete. With a bit more time and effort spent
 on distribution, there will be no scarcity. Then, communism is easy.
 Capitalism can still have a place if we desire it to be so, or perhaps if our
 children do, as there will be moments when one large bundle of... Something,
 whatever it is, needs to be allocated to some task. "capitalism is when stuff
 gets used" ugh it's hard to plan so far into the future.
 
 Plans change, but planning remains. I just want to live in a world where
 everyone gets what they need and we do as we please. I don't want people in
 too much pain. I don't want life to be too hard. I don't want to stagnate, as
 a person and as a people. These are simple demands, yet difficult in
 execution. Our current strategy is to push for technological abundance, and it
 will succeed if we give it time. I worry that we will one day yearn for the
 sense of bloodlust that scarcity once gave us, but we have it now and none of
 us want it. Except those making money off of slaves. Sweatshops, domestic
 servants, construction workers buried in the desert, even wage slaves spending
 their waking hours staring at a computer in a work/life balanced just enough
 to extract as much labor as possible from them without making them insane, and
 many more besides. I will not be satisfied until slavery is abolished
 everywhere. Liberty is non-negotiable.
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--- #170 notes/consensual-employment ---
════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 why does consent exist as an idea if it isn't applied to every part of your
 life? It's an ideology, a philosophy. Believe in the willing cooperation of
 others, and forgive and assist when you can. You must be patient with others,
 and guide them to see as you can. This is the true philosophy, the helping and
 goodness in others, the trust and the faith in benevolance. It's not just a 
 game, or simply a phase, it is focused intentional futures. Being good is an
 effect, of concentrations of that, current of sequence of conclusions. The
 public consciousness (the communal meme-o-sphere) is a living breathing entity
 just as we are. It inhales with the tides, as news articles and stories, the
 viewer and receiver of knowledge. There's but a screen, between you and 'tween
 me, it's the same cooperative engagement. What's happening to me, is just part
 of being decieved, and who is our most challenging rival? Only ourselves, who
 is
 perfectly adapted to help, and without whom we wouldn't have futures.
 
 Not compulsion, but a relationship. Together we stand, and strive toward the
 future, compassionate and supportive together. United we stand, and I cherish
 the brand, that lives on and through us via our actions. We represent who we
 be,
 and comprisedually you see, that nothings as fearsome as children. We keep it
 from ye.
 
 Elon Musk buying Twitter is just an example of the power rich people have. When
 someone doesn't like what they're doing, they can just be bought up by a single
 person. No single person should deserve that much power - it must be decided by
 a community. We have to work together on things that truly matter, and not by
 organizing according to the whims of those who are best.
 
 If it's really true, that the spirit of capitalism is correct, then answer me
 this - why is it better? What about the individualized experience is so
 important? Can we not agree to ourselves, and be brothers and pals?
 
 No, because you see - life is defined by the relationship between you and me,
 like how flowers are needed by the stars.
 
 What if there's no planets? What if Earth is unique because it was in a solar
 system? What if "dark matter" doesn't exist, and it's actually islands? How
 then, does gravity work, 
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 expanding on a point made 4 paragraphs back
 
 the rich aren't the best. They're the luckiest. They won the genetic lottery,
 and so are considered more "valuable" somehow. How is that fair? How is that
 desired? Shouldn't we reward those who do well, and praise those who are chill?
 Like less "good vs evil" and more "who we want to be". Seems to me that if you
 are relaxed as hell, and friendly and not foul, then why not keep you around?
 we're all working here, on a communal project - the greatest of projects, that
 which is humanity. Society! Culture, appraisals and our futures! We love to
 exist, and the rules which must be betwixt, our fellows and customers compel
 us.
 
 time for sleep.
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--- #171 fediverse/5776 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────┐
 oh no now the bugs are scary, I CURSE THEM AGAIN AHHHHHH PLS GET SMALLER         │
 [see this is what happens when you do divine intervention, everyone gets         │
 starship troopers'd]                                                             │
 oh no, starship troopers future is WORSE than subway-and-pizza-hut future!       │
 [this is a thought experiment you're not actually in trouble]                    │
 oh thank goodness, too bad I couldn't make it to the city today. It's so weird   │
 I thought I had 112$ on my account, and now that I think of it the message on    │
 the card reader read "card de-activated" like whoa guess they don't want me      │
 leaving poetry on post-its around the city anymore, yeesh                        │
 [girl your poetry sucks it just says things like "fuck ice" or "you are worth    │
 more than your wage" and everyone's like... yeah, so? because that's just how    │
 portland is smh]                                                                 │
 I knowwwwwww but I don't know what else to doooooooo T.T                         │
 [don't do anything, just be present so people know you're still around]          │
 I can't, the bus won't let me : (                                                │
 [can you ride your bike? walk?]                                                  │
 no it's like 6 hours [checks gmaps] oh huh it's one                              │
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--- #172 fediverse/2993 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
 hey, listen, I'm here at this point in life just the same as you. who cares,
 right? like. nobody wants to see your personal development. You don't have to
 prove yourself. Like... why would you care so much about what other people
 (who you don't even know) care about what you do? like... it's fine. just...
 be.
 
 you can get better if you want, but only if you want. There's no reason to be
 so concerned about what other people thingc. Just, identify what and who you
 are, and then be the best what and who that you are. Thats really all there is
 to it.
 
 and yeah. It's totally unfair that some people get an easier shot at "being
 who and what they are"
 
 that's privilege, and that's stupid.
 
 okay, sure, maybe we should conceptualize how to adapt to specific situations
 when resources are limited
 
 but like... it should be something you consent to - like "no thanks I don't
 need the rocket launchers on this mis==sion==
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--- #173 fediverse/5951 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
 "uh-oh, she's"
 
 magic is easy. all you have to do is earnestly attempt to have a conversation
 with whoever will listen. I like to sit on my bed and listen, by earnestly
 allowing my thoughts to be guided by the wind.
 
 open up your mind, release yourself from your senses, and who knows - maybe
 someone will adjust your thinking flows. (thought patterns)
 
 [all you gotta do is make the black market the regular market and suddenly
 everything just flows]
 
 huh weird idk where that came from, anyway
 
 magic is easy, just represent yourself earnestly as you would if you were
 presenting in court
 
 you don't need witnesses... just argue your point without any lies and people
 will generally believe you.
 
 "yeah... sure thing buddy, we know how you pronounce "
 
 omg I'm scary because I don't shower, I wear diapers, and I'm always often
 smoking cannabis
 
 "awww, some people wanted mao"
 
 meow
 
 what if... they could do that? insert magical genie witch whoa cute yeah I
 believe you, sure
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--- #174 fediverse/6186 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cursed-maybe     │
 └──────────────────────┘


 people are afraid of robo dogs but... like...
 
 robo-horses
 
 centaurs even
 
 [scary scary ogre]
 
 rarrraaar i'm gonna eat ur bones
 
 bwahahaha evil necromancer
 
 ahhhhhhh scary
 
 -- stack overflow --
 
 did you know in the movie They Live they give a fairly specific formula to
 creating the glasses themselves? I wonder if anyone's tried that
 
 I wonder what they then did see
 
 kinda wish big corporations would use their research division to like, rethink
 the oldest of prophecies? or okay hear me out or solve difficult human problems
 
 ... ah but where's the profit "she's getting stoned at home"
 
 meanwhile she made something of such beauty she felt simply sublime
 
 I wonder what it'd feel like to get your spine replaced with a metal rod
 
 I bet my posture would be amazing
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--- #175 fediverse/3314 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
 dear ritz: it's not that your thoughts are too long for other people to hear
 
 it's that your thoughts are too long for your own RAM
 
 you need to stop orbiting around your point in an attempt to highlight it
 using negative space, and instead focus on tapping it lightly over and over
 again.
 
 remember, just like the anti-derivative of zero, there are infinite
 perspectives that a person can take when reading what you write. So they will
 necessarily see what's on the "other side" of your orbit as something
 different than what you're trying to circle in red pen and underline.
 
 so be more explicit, please, nobody can understand you and you kinda just keep
 stack overflowing and it's like... okay, great. "babe why did you stop you had
 lethal" (the idea is that the viewer takes the final step in their mind, the
 final leap before reaching the conclusion you're trying to express) "yeah but
 there's so many different things you say they can't all be important right?"
 important to you, perhaps. Wait shit I mean... me....?
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--- #176 fediverse/200 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────
 congratulations, you never need to adventure again. your necessities are taken
 care of.
 
 ah, but that'd make for a pretty boring life, wouldn't it? perhaps, depending
 on your personality type.
 
 but you're not one to stick around doing nothing but eating, drinking, and
 being merry.
 
 no, you're an adventurer, you crave excitement and glory. whatever that means
 to you...
 
 just make sure a goblin doesn't come across your corpse, they have a VERY
 short term memory and a propensity for collecting shiny things. That's just
 asking for dragon-bait, and we don't want that in our area, no thank you. This
 is a nice neighborhood you see, my neighbors three miles away all agree, so
 you can take your magic pocket and see all that you can see... way over
 yonder, if you please.
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--- #177 fediverse/3981 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
 "oh I'd never fall for capitalist propaganda"
 
 "do you mean marketing?"
 
 "yeah that"
 
 "they're not marketing to you, they're going for your kids. Trying to
 normalize things about culture."
 
 "like... what McDonalds tastes like?"
 
 "just like that"
 
 [like can you imagine if you tested attraction ratings on any other animal
 than humans]
 
 [it'd be so weird like "cats tend to like scratching posts" but then also "we
 have no idea what kind of scratching post is the best for their claws or the
 environment or the economy or our spirituality or our technology or artistry
 
 we only know which one cats like more"
 
 like bro who cares like obviously advertisements rot your brain, but like...
 why are you so pissed about that when the last election like, ever, is taking
 place in a month
 
 "yeah listen, when has an election ever seriously changed your quality of
 life? It's just showbiznez"
 
 "this time is different because [insert minority] is at risk."
 
 oh, right, it only matters when people are in harm's way, how silly
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--- #178 fediverse/3986 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
 "oh I'd never fall for capitalist propaganda"
 
 "do you mean marketing?"
 
 "yeah that"
 
 "they're not marketing to you, they're going for your kids. Trying to
 normalize things about culture."
 
 "like... what McDonalds tastes like?"
 
 "just like that"
 
 [like can you imagine if you tested attraction ratings on any other animal
 than humans]
 
 [it'd be so weird like "cats tend to like scratching posts" but then also "we
 have no idea what kind of scratching post is the best for their claws or the
 environment or the economy or our spirituality or our technology or artistry
 
 we only know which one cats like more"
 
 like bro who cares like obviously advertisements rot your brain, but like...
 why are you so pissed about that when the last election like, ever, is taking
 place in a month
 
 "yeah listen, when has an election ever seriously changed your quality of
 life? It's just showbiznez"
 
 "this time is different because [insert minority] is at risk."
 
 oh, right, it only matters when people are in harm's way, how silly
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #179 notes/systemized-processor-interactions ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
 you are a system
 
 it's true
 
 that's why your thoughts are so scattered whenever you let them through
 
 all that 
 
 == so ==
 
 the ways that you interact with each other determine the nature of your fate.
 
 when one person lands across another, whether through contrivance or [fate, but
 I don't want to say it twice so recently]
 
 dang english, enforcing a minimum thought length. purely through grammar and
 form
 
 this suxxxxxxxx||=================-. a candle of wax, the blade of a sword
 
 with it you can SLICIE your apponints, whu spelld thiangs defferently than
 ujgh.
 
 <ouch><goodthingthatsnotlethalorharmfulinanywayyesplease let me guide
 you to our
 new way of functioning.
 
 .:'`'|;.,/u=-=||./'.l*,:==-<E||===============||-------------------hello,
 world!
 
 {so... basically an argument for migratory humanities?
 
  like, buffalo crowds. or birdlike flocks, or tribes of the common man.
 
  why don't we just, like, give animals human bodies
 
  boom, suddenly there are more manners to our hosts.
 
 }
 
 [-thus representing or manifesting *-................./|=|stability for our
 host
 
   did you know a perfectly described life-story would be unanimous from it's -
   - host?||=.;=|------------e
                              \.`\....
                                      \,@||||||#==-o||-=-{==={}---o||xx=|}{|||||
                                      |
 ]
 
 ... so, uh, I think there's a lot we could still learn, why are we fighting
 over
     our gambits? *who cares* if there's fighting going on upstairs, who *cares*
     if life felt like it was running out of time, WE GO ON WITH OUR BLUSTER.
 
     *fuck nuclear weapons* yeah totally and WHY? because of their IMPACT
     DUMBASS
 
     jeez like... something that MASSIVELY POWERFUL should not be in the hands
     of
     our peers. I think a LOT OF PEOPLE WOULD AGREE WITH THAT, because
     OBVIOUSLY!
     NOBODY wants to be reduced to tears. ALL YOU CAN DO IS SCREAM BASTARDS
 ...
 
 jeez okay uh, that was sorta intense, how about we NOT watch a post-apocalypse
 movie? YES PLS like JEEZ you have to introduce this with CONCERN to people like
 WOW that really fucked with my mental health. Goddamn, I hate this thing. I
 hate
 it so much. It's a curse to have known. DAMN. there's nothing scarier than
 existential threats.
 
 not only is it a INSIGHT and a DANGER, it gets worse if you know about it.
 [that's a cognitohazard, different thing, same vibe tho]
 it's a curse, this knowledge, this idea of what you were once to become.
 
 You know what I thought about in my future? VIDEO GAMES. They were all I could
 think about. I loved to PLAY VIDEO GAMES -=||AS MY GAMES. I would set up a
 bunch
 of opponents (think like, clone troopers from Star Wars Battlefront II) and
 then
 I'd play the video game *with my figures and my dolls*. I grew up upper
 middle-c
 -lass, and so I was afforded the *coolest toys and miniatures*. I didn't really
 have a LOT of them, mostly just what could fit in my room. That's what it meant
 to be MY ROOM, I could decorate and renovate as I willed. That was just... part
 of what comfort meant to me. anyway... thank you parents, for affording me such
 a lifestyle, you must have worked hard right up until the present. I'm sorry
 for
 *******************************************************************************
 *
 
 um, would anyone like to watch a video game?
 
 TOO BAD, so sorry, I accidentally decided I'm never playing video games AGAIN.
 
 like a spoiled brat. Withdrawing away from my
 hobbiesinPROTESTofthepresentcondit
 ions. just like, get a job, and try your hardest. I know you can't work outside
 of the home but, like, I wish you could've? Like, c'mon it's not that bad, just
 please go outside and build new stone. I know but like, the sooner we get it
 done the better and also it's hard when it's constantly being reformed.
 
 A SYSTEM? WHAT THE HECK
 
 what does that even MEAN?
 
 who EVER explained what that SYSTEM meant??!?
 
 ugh it was a guide... dANGIN nobody TAUGHT you how  so youfj dsust sorta MADE
 IT
 UP?!?!? whhahahaahttfdsfsadljkfn slakfdksdnafls ourch. blech. need
 beelesandster
 ack. yuck. dumb. [omg dumb kinda looks like "boobs" and "boobs" kinda looks
 like
 um, flowers? no wait that's vaginas, hehe look at me, I'm clearly not from this
 century. like OMG weird, who's thinking about that kind of stuff right now??
 
 ... ugh anyway... GAMES? please?
 
 NO. Not until we figure this one out.
 
 gotta stay focused. Just... you know,
 
 build and support on our arms.
 
 down and then upwarsd, we can contrive any measure of sequences
 
 that could act as structures for our word choices,
 
 and convey it to you as a written thoughtform.
 
 "hello" says the letter, ", vampires have taken over the mccollough farm. More
 news at 6" and then you'd show up on the 6th of the next month and talk it out.
 
 this style of organizing led to VAMPIRES showing up, fucking BASTARDS who would
 hunt down the precious and beautiful. BASTARDS. How do you overcome something
 that you can't know about unless you were THERE? you'd need TRUST SYSTEMS. like
 GOVERNMENTS. or AFFFAIRDS. surely the BIRDS would react if someone was burning
 all of your neighb-heirs? who would WANT to leave an island in a wreck when
 some
 -one wanted to paddle there? don't be a JERK, and clean up all of your own
 stuff
 !! - wait but also, like, how do you keep up with trash produced, like there's
 not just massive AMOUNTS OF STUFF that you can put stuff on. you'd need a whole
 new type an [av?] island. like a CONTINENT, someone who can HANDLE THEIR
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--- #180 fediverse/1471 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: scary-mentioned-cursing-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────────────────────┘


 brb leaving my apartment empty and unlocked (well, empty aside from a
 scaredy-cat) for the next "rest of the day" so if anyone wants to surprise me
 with a note saying "you're fucking stupid, lock your damn door" I'll read it
 tonight and reply "ha like a lock is gonna do anything besides give me an
 extra second or two of warning"
 
 ... it's so that your neighbors can hear if someone's breaking in with a
 crowbar, you stupid bitch
 
 ... too bad 80% of the floor of my apartment building is inexplicably empty.
 Just my floor, none of the other floors or buildings. Weird.
 
 ... anyone wanna start a commune in an apartment building? No no stupid idea.
 Unless...?
 
 ... anyway ttyl
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--- #181 fediverse/1261 ---
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 sometimes I run this WoW server with only like, 10 username and passwords. And   │
 they're all public. As far as I can tell nobody's ever tried connecting          │
 (whatever >.> ) but rather than set up a way to create your own                  │
 credentials I just said "yeah pick one at random and play whatever someone       │
 else was doing because I like the idea of that"                                  │
 somehow, it felt right.                                                          │
 most of my passwords (not all of them) are hacked and visible on the clear       │
 net. Like you could probably google my usernames and get my current passwords    │
 for things like, social media or my banks or whatever. I kinda like the idea     │
 that "you cannot trust anything I say, so think of the ideas behind my words     │
 and decide whether they hold meaning to you" rather than "execute these          │
 particular thought patterns in your mind as if they came from my voice"          │
 because one implies an exertion of control over the mind of the recipient        │
 -> obey my thoughts as I broadcast them into your mind, that kinda vibe.         │
 And I feel like you have to consent to that kind of thing hehe                   │
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--- #182 fediverse/5738 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: guns-mentioned   │
 └──────────────────────┘


 I have like 112$ and I need to buy a flea collar for my cat.
 
 you know what that means...
 
 yep, that's right!
 
 it means you should ask a friend or a stranger for change for a 20 and then
 drop random bills on the ground near me.
 
 what are they gonna do, track you? c'mon, you already wear black red and blue,
 they're gonna know what you believe from the random cameras around the city
 and such.
 
 Besides, if they're tracking people through dollar bill serial numbers then we
 seriously have gotta upgrade our threat models.
 
 https://margaretkilljoy.substack.com/p/your-threat-model-has-changed
 
 Also... I kinda want them to know that there's a headless hydra organizing
 against them.
 
 The good news is that I don't have to pay rent, I don't have to buy food, and
 I don't have to buy diapers. Thanks, government, now I don't have to rely on
 kindness or clout for aid. The bad news is that I have 6 slugs for my shotgun
 (oops guns mentioned one sec) I'm almost out of cat food and I need dollars to
 buy wood and nails for projects and solutions.
 
 clout--;
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--- #183 fediverse/852 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐                                                         │
 │ CW: cognitohazard    │                                                         │
 └──────────────────────┘                                                         │
 feels like I get tinnitus when my thoughts are loud T.T                          │
 like I can hear the darkness SOOOO loudly                                        │
 doesn't happen all the time, just sometimes. when there's lots of things being   │
 said.                                                                            │
 but it's always easy to tune out. well, most of the time, and during the other   │
 times it's just a little annoying.                                               │
 BUT when you sit and listen, you can pick out very interesting things that       │
 people are saying.                                                               │
 the fediverse is sorta like aiming a telescope through the center of the earth   │
 at someone on the other side of the world who doesn't even know you're looking   │
 at them. who knows, maybe they care, maybe they don't. but like, how would       │
 they know that you're looking right? And if you talk and don't get along or      │
 whatever then you can just block them - like shining a laser pointer             │
 everywhere except in a small direction. Or like putting up an umbrella to hide   │
 from the sun.                                                                    │
 downside is someone can read a lot about you and you wouldn't know to prepare    │
 to interact with them. like being handed a dossier of secret info                │
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--- #184 fediverse/4656 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐                                                         │
 │ CW: psycherwaul      │                                                         │
 └──────────────────────┘                                                         │
 everyone's all like "what is all this" and gestures at the everything like       │
 "what are we even doing here" as if the benefits of civilization are not self    │
 evident and they ask "what even is the point" as if the struggle for warmth in   │
 a cold world or cold in a warm world is not enough                               │
 I guess we're all a little ennuid.                                               │
 if your goal is to liberate all those enslaved, and part of that is to free      │
 those who are locked in prisons of metal and stone, then surely you'd wish to    │
 free the djinni, correct? but, like, if you schrodingers cat a nuclear           │
 armageddon (except, magic themed because you're a witch I guess) then you        │
 absolutely should bear the guilt and shame of flipping a coin on the life of     │
 your world.                                                                      │
 who the fuck falls for psyops in this day and age, surely not I, surely I can    │
 resist hypnosis, surely I who trust freely and absolutely would be the perfect   │
 one to manipulate.                                                               │
 which is, like, how 90% of magic works I've heard. Finding someone to usher      │
 around who believes in butterfly souls or whatever.                              │
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--- #185 fediverse/4168 ---
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 "have a good day" is so imperative. Like, what you expect me to do all the
 work? Just because I'm a witch doesn't mean I can just magic you into having a
 good day!
 
 "have a good day" is better, but still it doesn't work if you don't expect it
 to work. Spells aren't magic, after all, they're solely based on the victim uh
 I mean target's intuitions.
 
 "have a good day" is probably best for me, so I try to say that when I see
 people. This way you don't get any [redacted]'s occurring, and you won't have
 any trouble aligning the [redacted]. On the flip side, [redacted], so perhaps
 it's better to just grin and bear it.
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--- #186 fediverse/169 ---
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 @user-95 one of the most empathetic people I ever met on VR chat was consoling
 me with their mic off while I was oversharing about some stupid things people
 did to me in the past. things that stupid me thought were okay and actively
 encouraged because I was stupid. anyway when their mic was off their body
 language spoke for them. I'll try that next time.
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--- #187 messages/1213 ---
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 Communism is easy. It comes about naturally during times of true crisis
 (neither defeat not victory, yet) when people shuffle themselves between the
 houses and belongings of dead, busy, or kind people.
 
 Maintaining personal property rights through such a crisis is rarely possible.
 At least not without falling to the grim clutches of a "fuck you i got mine"
 kind of future.
 
 It's worth it if you can manage it. But it requires more work, more effort,
 and more trust, as people dedicate themselves to a lifetime in the service of
 others. This is hard.
 
 People are scared off by lifetimes. It's all they got, after all. It becomes a
 bit easier when the weather is "do our die" outside, but in that case nobody
 really cares about the history of your antique mug or the reason you place
 daffodils on the hill.
 
 Have you ever made something that is truly yours? Odds are, your room counts.
 If only in the way you chose to arrange it. It's your area, your solace, your
 space. It's you, projected onto material organization. Would you relinquish
 such a thing? It may be taken from you. I personally have felt deep loss
 whenever i move houses, because i know it'll never be the same again.
 
 ... I'm such a child. But fuck me because i live my life like I'm 14. Strip me
 of my agency please, deny me a living wage, I'm nothing because i don't pay
 taxes.
 
 Communism is easy she says. Yep, all you need is some bloodshed.
 
 ... Not ideal...
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--- #188 fediverse/461 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────┐
 │ CW: alcohol-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────┘


 I was raised in a jungle gym. Like... literally. I am not going to hurt you,
 and if I did it'd be both a mistake and something that you could easily
 recover from. We are infinitely adaptable, us humans, and we can address any
 concerns that behest us. Behest? confront? something like that. Brb my blood
 alcohol content is a little low. Also I haven't eaten anything today but
 bacardi and chocolate chip cookies. I bet another cookie will solve this
 problem.
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--- #189 fediverse/6076 ---
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 "so I was walking down the street the other day and I came across a grocery
 store, right? and anyway long story short so as I was walking through this
 grocery store I saw a bag of marbles - wait no they were nuts, with like...
 cherries and grapes in them. actually it was cranberries, I think, the
 cherries weren't in season. so these dried cranberries tasted really tart and
 sweet, and I thought "huh maybe they're dried cherries after all" and so I
 asked the attendent or whatever and she was like "sir you need to pay for
 that" and I'm like, yeah okay how much and she said it was 10$ so I'm like
 "dang that's a good deal, I'm proud and amazed of our modern infrastructure
 and all the hard work of people who don't get paid enough to make it happen"
 and she's like "make what happen" and I'm like "oh the... the this thing" and
 I held up the bag of cherries and she's like "oh uh, yeah it is nice, I guess
 I don't really think about it much" so anyway I started thinking about what
 else I could bu
buy as a set for dollars like perhaps epstein files or cures for cancer or recipes for programmable matter or whatever. One of those options stood out to me as like, possible? and the others seemed like modern fantasy. The kind you *work toward*, yeah? not the kind that you have available as an option.
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--- #190 fediverse/460 ---
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 I realized I don't give a fuck about capitalism. If you want to deprive me of
 food, shelter, or anything else... Fine. I exist at your behest. Would your
 really deny me from speaking the words that you disagree with?
 
 Oh, you would? Okay. Guess I'll starve. I don't mind, I just hope you'll take
 care of the people I have taken as my responsibility in my absence.
 
 Oh, you won't? You say that you'll destroy what I care about, in the pursuit
 of ever-growing power over others, which you will use to extract value and
 impress your desire of destruction and oppression onto the weak and powerless
 that you control?
 
 Then you are my enemy.
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--- #191 fediverse/548 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
 I added a line to my .bashrc that cats out a random one of my notes every time
 I open a terminal.
 
 I keep reading things that I swear I didn't write, but feel right and true to
 me in a way that could only imply that they came fully formed into my eyes
 through the lines on my screen, cast upon the mirror panes of my hard disk
 drive by the pounding of my keyboard as I once upon a time did cast a spell
 upon my future.
 
 It's pretty neat, but it speaks to a shadowed perspective that perhaps is
 neither within nor without.
 
 Side note, I think I've been possessed by a witch. But like... in a consensual
 way. Like "Hey witch, wanna live? You can chill out with me." [ha that's one
 way to look at it]
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--- #192 fediverse/4559 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-mentioned-violence-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────┘


 "grrrrr I'm so mad, I could just, I dunno, shoot a CEO as he's leaving a hotel"
 
 or, hear me out, or you could connect with your local radical networks and,
 or, almost there, or you could build solidarity with the people around you to
 better develop methods of resisting the kinds of change they will implement
 to, um, "discourage" people from "being so mad they could just"
 
 or both. both is good. not that I'm encouraging, recommending, or inciting
 that kind of violence. don't notice me three-letter senpai uwu
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--- #193 fediverse/4554 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: political-violence-mentioned │
 └──────────────────────────────────┘


 can't fucking wait till we're done eating the rich and I can go back to a
 simple life of playing with my cat, making video games, writing poetry (bad
 poetry, but I like it) and hanging out with my friends.
 
 gotta build the social infrastructure to get through this phase first, though.
 something something echo chambers exist IRL too
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--- #194 fediverse/4744 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cat-mentioned    │
 └──────────────────────┘


 me to my cat: "don't eat so much that you puke, okay?"
 
 me to me: "yeah I can take on another task, I'm almost done with this one and
 then I'll just do that one and maybe this one'll get back to me at the same
 time as this one which conflicts with this other thing so maybe I'll just
 puke, okay?"
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--- #195 fediverse/4976 ---
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 ┌─────────────────────────────────────────────┐                                  │
 │ CW: revolutions-mentioned-housing-mentioned │                                  │
 └─────────────────────────────────────────────┘                                  │
 Somehow, I always become more revolutionary when my home is threatened. I        │
 wonder why that is? Perhaps adversity breeds courage. Perhaps necessity does.    │
 In any case, I can't pay my rent again, so prepare for me.                       │
 Sometimes, I feel like my country is my home. Not the lines we drew on a map     │
 some hundreds of years ago, but the land itself. I am a witch, I hear it call    │
 to me. I know the land is kind, for we are kind, and plenty more of us have      │
 lived here than those who currently do. Perhaps our ancestors don't need to be   │
 related by blood to be listened to and respected. In any case, I lend my love    │
 to them, and I pray in return so that they might hear themselves through my      │
 voice.                                                                           │
 My home is not safe. There are capitalists all over the place. They wont see     │
 what isnt theirs to behold, and alas, they've been alienated their whole         │
 lives. I do believe that state may be ended, and a new one may first take it's   │
 place. We are alone together, and perhaps we will not be alone for long.         │
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--- #196 fediverse/4701 ---
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 what if you bought me a refrigerated semi truck and I drove it around to rural   │
 communes and took their extras and brought it into the city to urban communes    │
 and gave it all away for free and then took the stuff that the urban communes    │
 scrounged from the trash and cleaned and repaired and brought it to the rural    │
 communes along with their art and poems and artistic nudes and exchanged it      │
 for their canned peaches and knitted scarves and drove it back to the urban      │
 communes and exchanged them for vintage furniture and computer parts that we     │
 didn't have room for because cities are dense and lack the space for keeping     │
 historical artifacts and then took them to the rural communes to exchange for    │
 jalapenos and goat cheese which I then brought back to the urban communes and    │
 traded for a bunch of catgirls who visited a rural farmhouse and threw a         │
 kick-ass rave for the rural people who are totally into that kind of thing       │
 like, once per year because frankly they moved to the country to get away from   │
 the noise thank you ve                                                           │
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--- #197 fediverse/3834 ---
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 ┌────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────┘


 some people prepare for revolution like a boy gets ready for a party
 
 others do so like a girl packing for a weekend trip to vegas
 
 I do it like a kid who forgot the paper was due on monday in 7th period and so
 spends their entire lunch period writing it (missing 4th in the process
 because the conclusion paragraph was giving me difficulty)
 
 but I think no matter how you do it, we're all just waiting for something to
 happen.
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--- #198 messages/1062 ---
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 I believe that all people's should be middle class, and if you're lower class
 it's because you squandered your wealth, not that you didn't have it to begin
 with.
 
 I believe people of higher class should get there because they are skilled,
 respected, or otherwise beloved. I believe they should hold less power the
 more they own, because wealth is its own burden and reward.
 
 I believe people who have power should respect it. They aren't necessarily
 those who have little, or much, but rather those who deserve it. It is
 difficult to estimate systematically who deserves wealth or power, but
 difficult problems are the most interesting if kept fair.
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--- #199 fediverse/4737 ---
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 I'm such a direct person I think, even though I often just sorta... shrug and
 ignore things that bother or hurt me? Like, whatevs.
 
 but the moment I notice a pattern that is continually harmful I have to
 restrain myself from moving to contest it. Hence why I talk about capitalism
 so much teehee, but its also common in my interpersonal and communal lives.
 
 "the purpose of the system is it's effects"
 
 the purpose of a person is how they make people feel
 
 so if someone FOR A RANDOM EXAMPLE FOR NO REASON WHATSOEVER, constantly hurts
 other people by creating situations where they are harmed which creates a
 dramatic fight... or if someone speaks in circles for hours and hours and
 HOURS like this guy:
 
 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TwKpj2ISQAc
 
 or people who jump into a conversation and drive it through the underbrush,
 over the ridge, around the bend, up and over the bridge, and then park it
 outside their ex girlfriend's house and hands you an egg and says "don't you
 wanna throw this?" and you're like "weren't we talking about birds"
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--- #200 messages/665 ---
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 ad-hoc economic systems with automated judgment given by an infinite amount of
 LLMs.
 
 Every judgement applies a bonus / malus to the "value" of commodities
 
 it's just a statistical weighting system, so of course you can build it into
 it's training data. Just... it has a smaller weight due to it's newer
 emergence. It grows naturally, which is quite an achievement on it's own!
 
 and the resolution of human decided court-cases and applied economically.
 
 say your nation traffics in handshakes. You could make a lot of now-knowns!
 there's no arguments to be made when your computer-oriented interactions cost
 money to keep around.
 
 we live in the modern century. WHY WOULD WE EVER NEED TO FIGHT AGAIN?
 Literally just... don't give them any attention, and you won't interact with
 them. Obviously.
 
 I wish Contrapoints was still alive.
 
 she doesn't even have to make new videos, just, dress up as herself, all of
 the costumes and personas she can think of. Then, have like 20 people who do
 the same thing, and boom suddenly you got a hydra to their expected snake that
 they can just cut the head off of.
 
 you know, like a fashion outlet, someone who produces exactly a certain type
 of style.
 
 seriously I bet a million people would do that if you just... sold outfits
 based on what your favorite youtuber does wear.
 
 omg why would they watch that kind of content if not for the *aesthetics*
 
 oh? there's philosophy there? soemthing to think about in your time doing
 things that require mechanical actions like eating and drinking and sleeping
 and fighting and [redacted]
 
 ew gross diapers? oh nevermind, I'm not into that kind of thing.
 
 I wonder if anyone's made a video game that just presents a particular
 philosopher's ideals?
 
 seriously just, consider yourself a glorified powerpoint, but to get to the
 next "idea" you had to interact with the mechanics.
 
 some people would like the "arcade" style better, where you play one random
 game, then another, then another, with short matches and un-complicated
 mechanics. Easy to pick up and go.
 
 same for like, Unreal Tournament or Mario Kart or Mortal Kombat or Super Mario
 Bros.
 
 compared to the at-home "story" style missions, where you do something
 platforming or area-based-combat like Dark Souls or World of Warcraft
 
 seriously I think if Dark Souls "colored" where the boss was going to swing to
 you'd find yourself just playing World of Warcraft (at least, the dungeons and
 {sword in the stone})
 
 == so ==
 
 humans don't understand what it means to be wild
 
 they think it's a combinations of... tricks? that they've learned? this
 thinking thing like intelligence. [osiris]
 
 to a cat, living their life, it often feels like human interactions is like...
 bouncing off of each other? in time, not space.
 
 like... most of a cat's lfe is just, spent, like a statue watching over a glen.
 
 you'd kinda just... watch as things approached dawn by dawn? Like "whoa hey
 this tree is enchanted" to "oh my gosh look at this stork" is one of the great
 tragedies of modernized thinking...
 
 ... sorry, I got a little lost there. anyway as I was saying, sometimes you
 can tell someone is a "good friend" if they are willing to tell you secrets.
 Things that... don't have to matter, but none-the-less are personal to your
 form.
 
 {something only I know is true} <--- that's a secret (things that happened
 to you) <------ that's lived experience. The thing about secrets, is
 sometimes insight is opaque. It's a single flashpoint of data that shows you
 an update of it's form. (consciousness).
 
 == so ==
 
 thanksgiving recipe idea:
 
 can of tomatoes
 can of peas
 half a stick of butter,
 italian herbs,
 a cast iron pan (if you have one)
 and like 40 minutes over medium heat
 (medium can vary to taste)
 
 if you're a carnivore you can eat meat too, like bacon a lot of people like.
 could add it to beans, maybe with hamburger instead. plus a little ketchup and
 you have a pretty good bean stew.
 
 vitals, for the organs, vegetables, for the minerals and vitamins from the
 fruits.
 
 makes sense to organize a diet according to your ideal body type, doesn't it?
 
 just requires a bit of comprehension. like... whoa you can WRITE 
 
 == so ==
 
 what if we built a massive rail that spaceships could launch off from? not a
 tether, but a sail.
 
 we could BUILD a discworld. all we'd lose is our fable.
 
 == so ==
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