=== ANCHOR POEM ===
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 ┌───────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cursing-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────┘


 I can't cancel my internet because I use it to work, which almost pays enough
 to cover rent, and nothing else.
 
 It's hard to avoid spiraling when you run out of money. Every time this
 happens to me I start feeling things
 
 like... am I good for society? Society doesn't want me, clearly, because I
 don't have any money. And currency is how you measure demand, right? It's
 literally a measure of value.
 
 But then I think of all the homeless and poor people and, like... I value
 them, so what if they don't have dollars? It's literally just paper. Or bits
 in a mainframe that nobody knows how to program anymore.
 
 So if they're valuable at least to me, yet me, with my 67$ in the bank and
 127$ internet fee, is not valuable to me... Then what's the discrepancy?
 
 I'm not trying to be hard on myself, it's not my fault that I bleed money, but
 I still feel terrible.
 
 It's like a common cultural persuasion, if you run outta cash you better kill
 yourself fast.
 
 Fuck that. Oops cursing mentioned, one s
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=== SIMILARITY RANKED ===

--- #1 fediverse/4730 ---
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 I am not interested in being given money. Usually it means someone wants
 something from me, like labor or some of my stuff. I have all the stuff I
 need, why would I need more money? I like my stuff! I'll help out when people
 need help but I do that because I'm a good person, not because I want you to
 fucking pay me for it.
 
 I have all the things I need... except a deed to my house. apartment. oh yeah,
 they can kick you out for that sin. well, sorry, I couldn't find out at
 goodwill or in the trash bin, so I guess I'm deed-less. My deeds go unproven.
 How can I prove that I deserve a decent life in this particular roof, the one
 I find over my head, when I cannot prove that my deeds qualify me for a decent
 life lived under this particular roof?
 
 I mean, did you ask the neighbors if they want me gone? Am I really that
 smelly? Does my keyboard make "clickety-clack" noises all through the night?
 Does my cat meow and bother the children? Do my friendly smiles and waves make
 you uncomfortable?
 
 Have a decent life.
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--- #2 fediverse/4610 ---
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 maybe it's just my middle-class childhood privilege talking, but now that I'm
 an adult I just can't really be bothered with dealing with capitalism.
 
 like... I get it, you're coercing me into laboring on your behalf because you
 possess the violent power to take away everything that I own. good for you,
 don't care.
 
 seriously, fuck off "we're gonna cut off your power in 5 days oooooo you gotta
 pay rent with money you don't have because nobody will give it to you unless
 you do things for them oooooo" how rude.
 
 why can't people do things for me instead? why does it have to be for you, and
 you alone, capitalism? what's your problem? do you get off on controlling the
 power supply? I mean, I get it, coercive power is a hell of a drug, the riddle
 of steel and flesh and all that, but haven't you ever heard that the dichotomy
 between "civilization and barbarism" is the exact same as the contrast between
 "cooperation and competition"?
 
 work with me here, just find a way to get through the next month or two. trust.
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--- #3 fediverse/4528 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: uspol        │
 └──────────────────────┘


 @user-1695 
 
 never accept your own death
 
 fight for every second of life, something something do not go quietly into
 that grim dark
 
 what the fuck are you supposed to do? Reading what you said got me pretty
 fucking pissed - keep talking for a start, it helps, people need to be pissed.
 
 I'm also broke as shit, don't know how I'm going to pay rent and eat, but
 it'll get done.
 
 Where do you live? Can other people help you? Medications are an
 organizational problem, not an insurmountable barrier. We'll make it work.
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--- #4 notes/elective-democracy-electors ---
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 we need like, several more layers between us and the president.
 
 most people only need to worry about what's nearby.
 
 sort them by location, instead of previous attempts at "many representatives"
 which sorted by social class or relevance.
 
 we have a tradition for it, in America, with our representatives and senators
 congressional discrestricts
 
 or even, what about by affiliation?
 
 voluntary, governmental corporations, run by the people for the people and yeah
 
 "I don't want to do what you're telling me to do" "okay"
 
 "there will be consequences" omg be an adult
 
 (suddenly kids forget how to be as everyone's doing the war thing)
 
 not ideal.
 
 ouch pain maybe we should stay a little bit sane why is soldiering so hardship?
 
 it could just be... another job
 
 where you didn't kill each other
 
 but you still blew stuff up
 
 and fought in tournaments
 
 and had gaming hackathons
 
 or sword-fight contests
 
 duels between people who disapproved
 
 y'know fun human stuff
 
 like... "kaboom" now we know how to blow up bits of rock
 
 neat, why did dynamite becauswer (oh right then you
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--- #5 fediverse/4349 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐                                                         │
 │ CW: re: uspol        │                                                         │
 └──────────────────────┘                                                         │
 @user-883                                                                        │
 best case scenario, we elect a lawyer working for capitalism, the kind of        │
 society we live under.                                                           │
 having money is the same as having resources. And resources allow you to apply   │
 yourself to a goal. The more you have, the better, but they each bear a heavy    │
 load.                                                                            │
 Do you sacrifice your labor? your dignity, your honor? what do you burn on the   │
 fire of wasteful expenditures, just for the power to rent?                       │
 I'm saying that if you don't have money, you need to think about what you can    │
 do with what you got, because that's how you pay for things, at least until we   │
 decide that we'd rather help each other than work on capital's games.            │
 you have a house though, right? a place to live until it gets hot? that's good   │
 enough for right now. Stay where you're at, do what you can to help. Get in      │
 the habit of it. Think about how someone will complete their task, and then      │
 think about stuff two or three steps down the road - what tools will they        │
 need? what are they working on next? Can make any of those availble?             │
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--- #6 fediverse/5776 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────┐
 oh no now the bugs are scary, I CURSE THEM AGAIN AHHHHHH PLS GET SMALLER         │
 [see this is what happens when you do divine intervention, everyone gets         │
 starship troopers'd]                                                             │
 oh no, starship troopers future is WORSE than subway-and-pizza-hut future!       │
 [this is a thought experiment you're not actually in trouble]                    │
 oh thank goodness, too bad I couldn't make it to the city today. It's so weird   │
 I thought I had 112$ on my account, and now that I think of it the message on    │
 the card reader read "card de-activated" like whoa guess they don't want me      │
 leaving poetry on post-its around the city anymore, yeesh                        │
 [girl your poetry sucks it just says things like "fuck ice" or "you are worth    │
 more than your wage" and everyone's like... yeah, so? because that's just how    │
 portland is smh]                                                                 │
 I knowwwwwww but I don't know what else to doooooooo T.T                         │
 [don't do anything, just be present so people know you're still around]          │
 I can't, the bus won't let me : (                                                │
 [can you ride your bike? walk?]                                                  │
 no it's like 6 hours [checks gmaps] oh huh it's one                              │
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--- #7 fediverse/460 ---
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 I realized I don't give a fuck about capitalism. If you want to deprive me of
 food, shelter, or anything else... Fine. I exist at your behest. Would your
 really deny me from speaking the words that you disagree with?
 
 Oh, you would? Okay. Guess I'll starve. I don't mind, I just hope you'll take
 care of the people I have taken as my responsibility in my absence.
 
 Oh, you won't? You say that you'll destroy what I care about, in the pursuit
 of ever-growing power over others, which you will use to extract value and
 impress your desire of destruction and oppression onto the weak and powerless
 that you control?
 
 Then you are my enemy.
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--- #8 fediverse/5387 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────┐
 I was at BLM in Philadelphia and I never saw any protesters breaking windows.    │
 spray painting, sure. but window breaking? those things are expensive.           │
 why would you waste good glass on sending a message? why not just spray paint    │
 it so that everyone watching CAN SEE WHAT YOUR MESSAGE IS. dumbass.              │
 but no, they were all peaceful. then they got kettled (encirclement from         │
 Hearts of Iron 4) and slowly attritioned down to failure.                        │
 sometimes long into the night. where are they gonna go? just walk home? ha       │
 sucks can't do that, the battlelines have been drawn. you're going outta here    │
 in chains or not at all, not until you sign this prison release form that says   │
 you won't comment on the situation to any left wing media.                       │
 fuck, is that what bail is? except, not run as a business.                       │
 when they said crony capitalism they meant it. it's all about who you know,      │
 and who you know sets the standard for what chaos you'll sow.                    │
 gee I wish I had unlimited money. I'd buy tanks for my people and regulate a     │
 militia well-ly. alas poor                                                       │
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--- #9 fediverse/2681 ---
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 ┌─────────────────────────────┐                                                  │
 │ CW: uspol-history-mentioned │                                                  │
 └─────────────────────────────┘                                                  │
 the american revolution was literally just... rich people trying to avoid        │
 paying taxes                                                                     │
 and the poor people went along because, like... yeah inflation's really been     │
 fucking with their budgets                                                       │
 so in the end it made most households wealthier...                               │
 (built upon the backs of slaves, mind you)                                       │
 ... but as time went on the rich wanted to pay less and less.                    │
 they had their opportunity with the World Wars, and after the first (when        │
 America, previously a mid-tier country at best, suddenly industrialized) they    │
 realized "oh hey war profiteering is pretty profitable"...                       │
 (something that was known quite well to the British)                             │
 ... and then the Rockefellers and such, whose descendants never lost money but   │
 nobody knows their names, did it again in WW2 and the Cold War and.              │
 anyway                                                                           │
 the entire country is a game of numbers and spreadsheets in the ivory towers     │
 (literally, towers with nothing but opulence) and it always has been.            │
 fools like me believe in the mythology. fools, but propaganda appeals to truth.  │
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--- #10 fediverse/5205 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────────┐                                                     │
 │ CW: capitalism-mentioned │                                                     │
 └──────────────────────────┘                                                     │
 whenever I talk to capitalists (who actually have money and aren't larping       │
 wage slaves) they always tell me that the best way to address the concerns I     │
 have with capitalism is to make a million or more dollars by making a company,   │
 and then using that million dollars to buy houses for people I care about.       │
 I ask "what about the rest of the people, the ones I don't know?"                │
 their response typically boils down to "if you don't know them, then why         │
 should you care? fuck 'em"                                                       │
 It's never about hope or change. They want to change the world to make it        │
 cooler, not kinder. generally.                                                   │
 bonus: "if you like unions so much, why don't you join one?" my guy, unions      │
 WERE great when they wielded power. Now they are bureaucratic and listless,      │
 serving only to sedate the working class enough that they stop complaining and   │
 get back to work. They are functionally a part of the enslavement system, a      │
 built-in course correction mechanism to ensure capitalism remains solvent when   │
 the powerful overstep their humanity.                                            │
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--- #11 messages/298 ---
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 When you say "we need more low income housing" they hear "I want to live near
 more poor people" and they think "why would I want to live near poor people?
 They're poor for a reason! We only need enough around to work the jobs that
 suck anyway." which is basically their way of justifying slavery/indentured
 servitude, as it's not like they'd ever offer a way to climb out of that
 low-income pit. And its not like they'd ever let you pay them more, so they
 can afford to be equals, because then they wouldn't be middle-class anymore.
 They'd just be mid.
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--- #12 fediverse_boost/6155 ---
◀─[BOOST]
  
  If I were a person with an irresponsible streak, I could be so problematic.   
                                                                              
  I could say things like, "wow, let's spend some time generating traffic that sounds like coded military speak over not-quite-secure channels between fanciful antifa units, to help stymie AI surveillance", for instance.   
                                                                              
  Or social media messages that are "accidentally" not made to friends-only filters wherein you mention your concerns about the upcoming operation in "some fictional place" for you and your antifa buddies.   
                                                                              
  You know, that kind of really irresponsible suggestion could lead to some creaive thinking! And that in turn could mean we could come up with enough traffic to make it very difficult to auto-sort noise from signal? Imagine how dangerous that could be for the enemies of antifa, our beloved US government (for we all citizens of the US world).   
                                                                              
  It's unthinkable, really.                                                   
                                                                              
  The good news is, I'm not like that.                                        
                                                                              
  Me? Mostly harmless.                                                        
  
                                                            
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─▶

--- #13 fediverse/1317 ---
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 ... if I don't do this deadline by tomorrow they'll kick me out of school.       │
 again.                                                                           │
 how am I going to be a programmer without a degree? feels useless to be me.      │
 wish I could code my own horoscope >.>                                           │
 o wait dummy that's called "motivation" and "the ability to follow through on    │
 your ideas and planned machinations" - yeah can I get some of that, if you       │
 please? surely just a taste of discipline, through laboring to alter             │
 conditions, surely a bit would suffice.                                          │
 c'mon don't fail me now. I can do this. I know I can. I know because I've been   │
 told that I can, now and again through time and time yet again, always I seem    │
 to [stack overflow]                                                              │
 what's time if not the present amiright                                          │
 ...                                                                              │
 anyway...                                                                        │
 it's just git, how hard could it be? it's just calculus, it's just java, it's    │
 just... well, it's not any of those things, not really. it's memorization,       │
 it's application of tools that you've been shown (not that you've grown). It's   │
 a lack of responsibility, where is my honor? ah but I digress, I'm a carpenter   │
 at heart I guess                                                                 │
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--- #14 fediverse/488 ---
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 [in response]                                                                    │
 you only say that because you're privileged such that you may ignore such        │
 realities. You are despicable, you ignore the plight and reality of those who    │
 you claim to speak toward - what a jerk!                                         │
 (in response)                                                                    │
 how futile it is, the effort to denigrate yourself to infinite requirements.     │
 I'm literally unemployed, I have no capital, I cannot speak for naught but       │
 those who would hear me. I guess that makes my words useless, wouldn't you       │
 agree? Shall I describe myself more fully? It's the responsibility of the        │
 audience to ascertain the intentions, biases, and contextual evidence that the   │
 author presents in their thesises. So... You, who are reading this, what do      │
 you think of me? Would you ever tell me as such, or am I simply a mass of        │
 words in the void of experience that comprise your existence in this wholely     │
 (yet incompletely) digital existence? I hope you have a good life, my most       │
 precious of viewers. I hope you never face incontrovertibly impossible           │
 hardship. I hope the light of your life is to y                                  │
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--- #15 fediverse/1157 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: personal-woe     │
 └──────────────────────┘


 oh no, apparently I'm gonna be forced to drop out of university again in 9
 days unless I do half a course and a final exam before then.
 
 Tell me again why I spent the last 6 months doing nothing? Oh yeah the mental
 illness, that's it. Yeesh you're such a drama queen, just do your work and
 you'll be good.
 
 what's that? intrusive thoughts time? Don't you mean "nap until they go away"
 time? oh yeah that's probably at least part of the problem with the whole
 "dropping out" thing.
 
 If only I didn't have the same reaction to "doing things I don't want to do"
 that most people have to "touching hot stoves", that'd be nice.
 
 my mother's voice ripples across space and time "you're such a smart boy, if
 you just apply yourself you can do anything! You can do anything you put your
 mind to. I believe in you and I love you." thanks mom
 
 brrrrr it's so cold here. wish I could afford to run the heater. - actually no
 I don't because it's not solar powered and I refuse to use fossil fuels if I
 have blankets >.>
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--- #16 fediverse/6093 ---
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 ┌─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: politics-mentioned-cops-mentioned-cursing-mentioned │
 └─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 it's not always about minorities, though. sometimes they feel strongly about
 hard work and self-sufficiency or individuality or whatever. I'm telling you
 now: those values are shared by other ideologies as well.
 
 it's okay to prefer to be around people who are similar to you. That is a
 personal choice and it should be allowed. I mean, have you ever heard of a
 convent? a bunch of girls hanging out making out all day and - wait, what's
 that? it wasn't that fun? lotta clerical work and reading about god? alright
 well you get the idea, sometimes it's nice to feel comfort in similarity.
 
 it's okay to believe that people should work hard. It's not an imposition upon
 them to demand more of your peers, especially if you are willing to help them.
 Especially if they are willing and able. It's less alright to force them to.
 Even less so to "encourage" them by taking all of their stuff. Though I will
 say, being homeless isn't as bad as it used to be. Still hurts.
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--- #17 fediverse/4212 ---
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 ┌────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────┘


 if you ever hear random fireworks outside of your house sometimes it's a good
 idea to like... get out of town? and see what whoever else you can meet in the
 next town over is doing.
 
 ... I don't have a car, silly me haha
 
 why do we train homeless people to stand outside in the open and be shamed by
 a cardboard box around their ancle? It's impossible to recover from, it's
 vulnerabilizing, and it's painful. How immoral. How crude. These people should
 not be shamed in this way, they should be respected (unless they're crude)
 
 like, if they kinda just suck y'know? like... they keep starting fights or is
 soooo bad at singing but does it anyway or lacks all decent sense
 
 seriously, he's such a bad candidate why is he even running. It's solely to
 elect vance, who trump will be a blood sacrifice for.
 
 how callous. how vain. to think that such a feast would be left unclaimed.
 Perish the youth, perish the fields, perish in misery harmony and dissaray
 
 [51 characters remaining, but you deserve a CW] 
if you ever hear random fireworks outside of your house sometimes it's a good idea to like... get out of town? and see what whoever else you can meet in the next town over is doing.  ... I don't have a car, silly me haha  why do we train homeless people to stand outside in the open and be shamed by a cardboard box around their ancle? It's impossible to recover from, it's vulnerabilizing, and it's painful. How immoral. How crude. These people should not be shamed in this way, they should be respected (unless they're crude)  like, if they kinda just suck y'know? like... they keep starting fights or is soooo bad at singing but does it anyway or lacks all decent sense  seriously, he's such a bad candidate why is he even running. It's solely to elect vance, who trump will be a blood sacrifice for.  how callous. how vain. to think that such a feast would be left unclaimed. Perish the youth, perish the fields, perish in misery harmony and dissaray.  [see how easy it is to summon a demon? gotta be careful with phylac  [zero characters remaining]
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--- #18 fediverse/3370 ---
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 I know it's not like that but I'm intentionally framing it that way to make a
 point about societal exclusion.
 
 nobody should be excluded.
 
 nobody should have to harm their friends to come by making them sacrifice
 their [time/labor/paycheck] in order to bring them along.
 
 we live in a post scarcity society that insists on commodification of
 everything
 
 we don't have to. A better world is within reach. It sits there, twinkling
 like asbestos resting at the base of a snowglobe, while we search and ponder
 and endlessly analyze how society sucks.
 
 there is nothing left to analyze. all that we need is to put our hands to a
 task and our feet to grass.
 
 the rest will come, and it'll come easier with time and focused attention.
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--- #19 fediverse/4663 ---
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 ┌─────────────────────────────────────────────────┐                              │
 │ CW: cursing-mentioned-social-politics-mentioned │                              │
 └─────────────────────────────────────────────────┘                              │
 what if we helped all those people and never got paid for it? what then?         │
 we'd never help people again. duh.                                               │
 what if we paid people to help people? well, then the best helpers would burn    │
 themselves out and the worst would collect their paychecks.                      │
 what if we decentralized aid and made it a mutual thing?                         │
 what, and run our society on clout? no thank you. clout is too easily            │
 contravened. "I heard so-and-so did some-such-thing to that-one-guy" yeah fuck   │
 that guy "wait no fuck so-and-so" oh right sorry it's hard when everyone's so    │
 vague all the time. yeah fuck so-and-so! let's burn all her clout in a bonfire   │
 while she's sleeping!                                                            │
 what if we treated people with respect and goodwill?                             │
 yeah that's a start... Means you gotta know everyone though. Or know someone     │
 who knows everyone. And suddenly it's that hub person's reputation on the        │
 line, which means if you're a dick on their recommendation then they'll come     │
 after you.                                                                       │
 ... are you trying to create a mafia, or a society?                              │
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--- #20 fediverse/2595 ---
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 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────┐                            │
 │ CW: re: politics-fascism-sexual-assault-mentioned │                            │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────────┘                            │
 They will say they're "off their psych meds" yeah, okay, but a diagnosis and     │
 prescription is trivial for a doctor to write.                                   │
 They are paid about 35$ per hour.                                                │
 They have 2 week shifts "vacations" where they are transferred to a city with    │
 a person they could reasonably impersonate where they act for a while.           │
 (I know this because one of them replaced a homeless man I knew who had like,    │
 3 teeth total, and then a few days later a man who looked similar acted as if    │
 he knew me. He had perfect teeth.)                                               │
 They have a PO box where they can receive useful items for their disruptive      │
 activities. Hammers, spray-paint, whatever.                                      │
 They don't carry any money. No wallet, identification, or anything, so if they   │
 get picked up by emergency response services then there's not much they can do   │
 besides try and stabilize them before letting them loose.                        │
 Some of them have "long-term shifts" where they work with children or the        │
 elderly over months or years. It's just as fucked as you imagine.                │
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--- #21 fediverse/1083 ---
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 it doesn't really matter how you do it, but the more time you spend thinking
 collectively the better you'll be able to adapt when necessary.
 
 I grew up on a homestead in a small town without many friends. I was
 homeschooled, and while I might see another person I knew once or twice a
 month, that was about it.
 
 Besides my family, of course.
 
 We were a collective, and ever since leaving I have yearned for that feeling
 of closeness.
 
 There's something about modern society that pushes us apart, and I resent it.
 Humans were meant for tribes, not multilevel marketing.
 
 That being said, culture is pretty neat. Society is pretty neat, when it's not
 being oppressive. I like the idea that I can buy carrots at the store instead
 of growing my own. I like the idea that I can post on Craigslist asking if
 anyone has a shovel they want to get rid of and someone can say "what the fuck
 are you trying to bury someone why would you do that" and I'm all like "wait
 no this post has gone off track can we refocus for a bit" and th
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--- #22 fediverse/4500 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────┐
 ┌─────────────────────────────────────┐                                          │
 │ CW: cursing-mentioned-CW-motivation │                                          │
 └─────────────────────────────────────┘                                          │
 I try to always CW for cursing. Every time I do, I imagine it being read aloud   │
 for a blind person while their children sit on their lap and ask "daddy what's   │
 a motherfucker?" "well, that's me, son" and then the kid goes to preschool and   │
 says "My dad fucks my mother!" and they get kicked out so the dad has to take    │
 extra shifts to pay for babysitting and the kid grows up without proper          │
 socialization and the mother becomes an alcoholic and cries herself to sleep     │
 while the dad begins exploring motorcycles and weed and then the kid grows up    │
 to be an incel or whatever                                                       │
 THIS is why CWs are important! Think of the poor regular-looking but kinda       │
 annoying dorks on the internet who self-impose celibacy because they're scared   │
 of emotional connection. The poor dears. I do hope they don't join the           │
 alt-right or whatever as a way of (Ritz this is like, ancient discourse why      │
 are you aping that one Contrapoints video) oh um yeah uh... CWs are important    │
 and I think that's where I'll toot and leave                                     │
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--- #23 fediverse/4098 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
 ┌────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-mentioned-ableism │
 └────────────────────────────────┘


 ngl I kinda hate it when people meme about donald trump being incontinent
 
 like, yeah, he pees his pants, so what? I DO TOO. Fucking sucks. Every time I
 read people saying nasty things about it I can't help but read them in my own
 voice, and that gives me plenty of ammunition to use against myself when I'm
 feeling down.
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--- #24 fediverse/5512 ---
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 I never give up
 
 I'm just waiting my turn
 
 "laughs nervously"
 
 so, uh, why dontchya'll go first yeah I've already gone first and I'll do it
 again but it'd be cool if I had people going first with me sometime
 
 "girl all you do is walk around and talk about how you bought your hat on the
 internet four or so years ago"
 
 T.T what else do you want from me I'm not a mastermind I'm a designer there's
 a difference T.T
 
 "didn't you volunteer to be a leader last year"
 
 oh, yeah, well leaders are more than just "the ones who go first" they're also
 the spiritual and emotional guiders that keep things on track once everyone
 can talk about things other than their hats
 
 ... fuck I want to talk about things besides my hat. I always think of
 something awesome to say just as I'm rounding the bend, and whenever I peer
 back around again they're never around. Rats.
 
 "what are you even asking for"
 
 I don't know?? Does it matter if the horse and the bishop both take the same
 square if they're claimed themselves in the end? ...wat
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--- #25 fediverse/4672 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics!        │
 └──────────────────────┘


 I miss video games
 
 cries from self-inflicted sacrifices
 
 but you're worth it
 
 imma overthrow fascism, dismantle oppression and power, and liberate those in
 chains, just so I can play games again
 
 yeah I mean, uh, whatever gets you outta bed
 
 "at least you have a bed. why are you complaining?"
 
 maybe it's the only thing I'm good at. I wonder if anyone would hire me to be
 an analyst or something? Maybe a designer?
 
 bro you're asking for a job on the eve of the revolution, what's your deal
 
 okay so this might be news to ya'll but I'm technically a human even though I
 wear a witch hat and sometimes speak in rhyme. And humans tend to think about
 things in the context of their current environment. Currently, if I want to
 pay rent or whatever, I need a job. So...
 
 sounds like a lame excuse for not giving up your possessions and throwing
 yourself to fate's design
 
 I already did that and fate told me to go home and take a bath?? idk what you
 want from me, and no I'm not doing any drugs to find out.
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--- #26 notes/contractual-labor ---
════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────────────
 I feel like the IT people who work at schools should be the ones who teach 
 classes on computer science. I'd much rather have a class taught by a sysadmin 
 than a teacher who can barely teach them excel and garageband. I mean c'mon 
 computers are the future idk why we don't get that yet. Kids need to know this
 stuff. It's not like it's super complicated and difficult, you just have to
 think about it a certain way. Once that "clicks" you have a lifetime to learn 
 about how wonderful they are. Everyone in IT has that moment, for me it was 
 installing (and then subsequently modding) video games. Sometimes I spent more
 time tweaking my system than I did actually playing games - and the kinds of 
 games I preferred were the ones that relied less on agility and were more 
 mental. Strategy games are what inspired me because I could think about them - 
 and that felt somehow more useful. Like I was learning. When I would learn 
 fighting games or FPSs I felt like I was learning a skill, like how to use a
 hammer or how to ride a bike. And idk, I felt like video games could never
 match
 reality. Like "oh boy imma push the B button to swing this sword" versus "hey 
 look at me I'm swinging this stick just like a sword and imagining so hard that
 I can picture it" - but with strategy games, you never really found 
 opportunities to practice that kind of skill. Like how often are you in a 
 situation that demands mental performance? We've sorta optimized our society 
 away from that, and toward a more passive stressed out compliance. like... 
 climate change is a thing, and nobody's doing anything about it? We're still 
 pushing down the levers that cause greenhouse gas emissions to go up? Like
 c'mon
 what's our plan. I think people who guide massive oil companies and such
 should
 be replaced if they're intentionally guiding the ship toward destruction. Like
 that's just dereliction of duty I tell ya. Oh, what's that? They're compelled
 to
 maximize profit by the contracts and restrictions of their share--holders? I 
 mean c'mon it's well past time for that. And what's all this about inequality? 
 Jeez and racism and homophobia and forced contribution - man people really put
 up with a lot of shit. Kinda makes me feel like we should make solving those 
 problems our highest priority? So we can move forward as a species? Like who
 cares about all that other shit. None of it matters. Like, what's even the
 point. We're all just "here", in the now, and what can we do but respect it? 
 It's our duty and our diligence to protect the present, as citizens of the 
 temporal experience of earth. Honestly, if the earth was alive would you be
 fine
 if it died? I can't believe that. It's well past our due date. Just get it over
 with. Maybe it'll be hard for a couple years, but you have the technology now
 to
 completely dominate the earth. No animal besides man proves any threat to man, 
 and we're telling you - you can - and that's something that you gotta remember.
 
 ...
 
 I hear it in the birdsong. I hear it in the air - it rumbles as cries at me
 from
 across and just over there. I hear in it's whispers, in it's most gallant of
 confells (?) (confused scrambling? it's talking about a car crash)
 
 Outside of my window there's a highway. Just on the other side of a concrete
 partition. Between me and the partition there is a lake, with trees and flowers
 and an island where people can picnic or have a barbeque. Around this path
 there
 are walkways, and arranged just so - the trees that have grown here are taller
 than the homes.
 
 I live on the third story.
 
 I absolutely love it. It feels like a treehouse.
 
 But my apartment is near a curve in the highway. It isn't much, nothing out of
 the ordinary, but even still there are slightly more crashes there than in
 other
 parts of the highway. Statistically.
 
 I hear sirens every day
 
 I also live right next to a fire-station. Well, it's on the same block. But
 even
 still it's a very interesting neighborhood. There's shops and food just across
 the highway, and closer to home there's a small section that has cheaper
 options. As a perpetual college student, I appreciate that.
 
 But... I've never really gone and used it? I dunno, spending money at a
 restaurant just didn't seem like a good use of my money. I only have so much of
 it you know. I'd love to be fed but I can't afford it - I wish I could.
 
 I still eat well, I mean I'm not starving over here. I know I've lost weight,
 but I dunno I just forget to eat. It's like... not that big of a deal for me. 
 whatever right?
 
 ...
 
 the birds talk about me behind my back. They think I can't understand them but
 sometimes I can. If I listen. But I dunno it takes a lot of effort. It's...
 sorta like understanding what R2-D2 is saying. Or interpreting the meows of a
 cat.
 
 They know me as the witch. I'm not very good yet, and they know that. But they
 know what to expect. /shrug
 
 I've been working on a video game recently. It's been a lot of fun doing
 programming. I like writing software and developing complex systems with
 interesting interactions. I love designing the machinery that creates a
 program.
 It's like... tinkering. It feels like building with blocks or legos, except
 it's
 for little machine parts. And then there's just sending data to and fro and
 modifying any operations it performs on it, and eventually that data reaches 
 some endpoints that create an effect that is displayed to the player. Or user.
 I should say user. Not all software is video games you know. ... I knowww but
 they're the most interesting! I love how they are designed around mechanics!
 like... game design is fundamentally about breaking down the world into ideas
 for how it should *work*, like how it should behave. It's amazing and I love
 it!
 
 It's all I can think about!
 
 I am utterly consumed!
 
 I'm also pretty sure I'm autistic.
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--- #27 fediverse/1585 ---
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 ┌───────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: Lonely vent about pride month │
 └───────────────────────────────────────┘


 @user-883 
 
 Yeah I get it. I've been applying for remote jobs and they won't fuckin' hire
 me. Fuckers, I'm talented and qualified, who gives a fuck about my lackluster
 resume?
 
 Supply and demand is fake because software developers are only offered 100k+
 jobs and yet there's so many of us who are starving. What the fuck.
 
 I have a friend in Brooklyn, yet I'm on the west coast. Fucking geography
 amiright? I'd love to live with them and yet I can't because of something as
 simple as money. What's the purpose in that restriction? I'm so fucking
 talented, please fucking hire me. What can I do to get what I want? Ugh,
 modern society perplexes me.
 
 Like, yeah sure it's great that we have the internet and hospitals who can
 cure malaria and whatever, but why do I feel so encaged? It's so strange, and
 yet here I am -.-
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--- #28 fediverse/6271 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────
 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: hypothetical worst case fascism reality check │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 @user-641 
 
 it's practice. you never know when you might need to blend in. really it's
 just useful as discipline, good practice to be in. I think it's okay if we
 reduce our own functionality? actually? sometimes it's good to use different
 email clients. hey do you know how to mathematically encrypt things well
 neither do I because the designers of the computer system decided that wasn't
 a very common usecase I guess.. jmean it's not like they'd spend all that
 computer resources [THEY'RE SO FAST] on thinking about correlations in your
 predicted pathway narratively through life. "ah help I'm in a psyop" haha yeah
 we do those all the time "so uhhhh I guess we'll just talk to people and see
 how they do?" wow okay it's sure nice to be part of a civil government, I
 think we can find our way to the lumber producers just fine thank you very
 much.
 
 ... oops sorry, a baby did electronics arts (challenge everything) I'm a
 little silly don't mind me brb I gotta go see~
 it's practice. you never know when you might need to blend in. really it's just useful as discipline, good practice to be in. I think it's okay if we reduce our own functionality? actually? sometimes it's good to use different email clients. hey do you know how to mathematically encrypt things well neither do I because the designers of the computer system decided that wasn't a very common usecase I guess.. jmean it's not like they'd spend all that computer resources [THEY'RE SO FAST] on thinking about correlations in your predicted pathway narratively through life. "ah help I'm in a psyop" haha yeah we do those all the time "so uhhhh I guess we'll just talk to people and see how they do?" wow okay it's sure nice to be part of a civil government, I think we can find our way to the lumber producers just fine thank you very much.  *... oops sorry, a baby did electronics arts (challenge everything) I'm a little silly don't mind me brb I gotta go see~*
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--- #29 fediverse/2653 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────┐
 ┌──────────────────────┐                                                         │
 │ CW: uspol            │                                                         │
 └──────────────────────┘                                                         │
 if your goal is to get people to resent homeless people or gay people or black   │
 people or... insert minority here, then what kind of world do you really think   │
 you're building?                                                                 │
 "ah, but you don't understand - it's to make the COLONIZERS hate minorities,     │
 so they move away and leave the city to ourselves"                               │
 ... that's the worst fucking take I've ever heard. We are all colonizers! We     │
 live in AMERICA. But yeah sure I see what you're saying, you want the            │
 gentrification to stop. And you do that by metaphorically "firing a gun into     │
 the area in suburbia once every 2 or 3 days at random hours" which, like...      │
 yeah that'll reduce property value, but also now my water bottle is all dented   │
 up and my knife is scratched and my journal has pages torn out of it and I       │
 lost my favorite necklace and I'm pissed because you told me you were going to   │
 help me and work with me and be my friend and then you just abuse me for hours   │
 and hours and it's like... why?? I get that you were teaching me but I wanted    │
 to know YOU, not lessons                                                         │
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--- #30 fediverse/3931 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────┐
 ┌─────────────────────────────────────────────┐                                  │
 │ CW: politics-mentioned-DRM-media-piracy-pol │                                  │
 └─────────────────────────────────────────────┘                                  │
 if people pirate media, it's more of an indication that they'd rather spend      │
 their money elsewhere rather than an indictment of their character.              │
 torrenting movies is easy. Kinda makes me think all media should run on a        │
 "tip" system where you pay for better service after receiving service.           │
 I mean, after all, that's how they justify underpaying restaurant workers,       │
 isn't it?                                                                        │
 "if they want more money, they should work for it"                               │
 yeah, so... maybe we need something more than Marvel, Disney. Maybe we need      │
 more cool, small games from designers who believe in what they're doing. Maybe   │
 copyright holders should demand a standardized cut, rather than exclusive        │
 distribution rights. maybe maybe maybe.                                          │
 truth is nothing will be solved unless the problem is addressed at the root.     │
 For every hole you patch in the boat, there's a guy walking around with a        │
 hammer.                                                                          │
 Honestly... I don't believe there's any reason for someone to be a millionaire   │
 except to compete on the "wealth" leaderboards.                                  │
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--- #31 messages/388 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────
 Pretty sure I'm just legitimately a bad person. Basically everything I've ever
 tried to do has failed, and every opportunity I've mishandled or squandered in
 some way. I have no friends because I am incapable of being good, and though I
 believe in goodness I fail to manifest it in my life. I am kind, I am polite,
 I am friendly, I am honest, but none of those things really matter because I
 can't take care of myself, which means I can't take care of anyone else, and I
 can't fight because I'm a coward.
 
 Okay, I'm not a coward, I just can't be brave if I don't have a plan for
 defeating my foe. At the BLM riots I fled as soon as they brought out the tear
 gas. I knew what happened at Tiannamen and I was pretty sure that something
 similar was going to happen to us. I knew it to be true. I am a coward, but
 only because I ran when I had no plan. I could not contest tear gas, and all
 that tear gas implies, because I had no friends. I didn't have a community I
 could fight to defend. I had no weapons, no training, no orders, no guidance,
 nothing but my bravery. And bravery alone is fucking stupid, and I'm not
 stupid.
 
 Each and every decision I've made has created a worse world for me and my
 people. What's wrong with me? Why can't I do everything right? Am I cursed to
 be the worst? I try as hard as I can to be as good as I can as often as I
 can... Basically, always and forever, and yet... And yet...
 
 I've wasted all the resources that have been applied to me. I've wasted and
 squandered all these years when I could be building a better future. I have
 been in university for almost a decade, and all I've accomplished is
 friendship. Great. Parties, drugs, video games... But no studying. Studying is
 too hard on me. I'm more of a natural talent kind of person, and yet I insist
 on applying myself to tasks that seem to require trained intelligence. They
 say that genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration, and I refuse to
 perspire.
 
 And yet when the time comes, when someone sits me down and says "let's work on
 this together" I would die before the task is finished. Unless my partner
 needs a break, or if I need a break, breaks are okay. But I will complete that
 task with them by my side. I won't do it for them, but I'll help them because
 I'm a helper. An assistant. I don't do, I advise. I judge. I determine. I
 assess, and I plan, and I strategize. But I'm not that great at any of those
 things because nobody will hire me for those kinds of things, meaning I don't
 get experience for those kinds of things, which means I am eternally a novice
 at the only things I'm good at.
 
 I can't fucking do it anymore. I'm such a bad person and I can't be alive this
 way. It's not right, it's not fair, and I'm dying bit-by-bit each and every
 day.
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--- #32 fediverse/4073 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
 post until you can't anymore
 
 capitalism wants to drown your voice
 
 do not let it
 
 speak until you cannot speak
 
 then go do some pushups
 
 then find some friends
 
 then pitch a tent in the park
 
 then explain to the cops that you're not actually homeless and living there
 you're just trying to do this as a social statement because someone on the
 internet told you to
 
 then use your phone call to call your representative and complain about how
 much funding the police get
 
 then study law for 30 years because that's how long the government decided
 your life was worth
 
 by then you'll probably have figured out a better plan moving forward, so, use
 that one instead
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--- #33 fediverse/4738 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────┐
 ┌─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐                      │
 │ CW: revolutionary-politics-mentioned-swearing-mentioned │                      │
 └─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘                      │
 you said you wanted a revolution, and, well, I could not be more proud of you.   │
 It's actually getting done and if I stop and think about it I'm kind of          │
 amazed. Never thought I'd see this kind of change so quickly.                    │
 "what change? I see nothing substantially different"                             │
 oh yeah well do you go outside often                                             │
 do you hang out in the park                                                      │
 I know it's fuckin' january and it's cold as heck (ah nuts swearing mentioned    │
 one sec) but homeless people have to LIVE in that weather so like... wear        │
 layers, spend time outside, detox from dopamine, write poetry and tear it out    │
 and leave it on a park bench, be loud, claim the space, it's yours, that's       │
 what it's there for.                                                             │
 I see it in your eyes. I see it in the random notes I find on the sidewalk.      │
 Everyone says "make friends, find community" and I say "commune with a           │
 stranger" but I'm also a witch and that's a pretty witchy thing to do.           │
 ... Really fuckin' wish we still had payphones (ah nuts swearing mentioned -     │
 oh already CWd)                                                                  │
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--- #34 fediverse/1200 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────┐
 ┌─────────────────────────────┐                                                  │
 │ CW: re: deranged, murderous │                                                  │
 └─────────────────────────────┘                                                  │
 @user-883                                                                        │
 omgggggg I'm not that cruel xD xD xD                                             │
 It's more like, "hey listen, I know you just want to do a good job [lies, they   │
 just want money and power] but it's time to hang up the hat y'know? I mean       │
 cmon it's been like a hundred years since we signed that constitution thing      │
 [you don't know anything about our history] and frankly it's a little out of     │
 style. We were thinking we'd redo it with our new-fangled rock-and-roll and      │
 dungeons-and-dragons [cultural artifacts meant to deceive and mislead] and       │
 honestly we're quite a bit more ethical than the past. We've learned so much!    │
 I mean, the founding fathers didn't even know what a soviet was, and here        │
 we've seen them fall on their swords. Repeatedly. Then command others to do it   │
 too, because it was the regulation or whatever. Anyway we don't want that, but   │
 we also don't want an aristocracy, which is essentially what your plan gave      │
 us. Well, not really your plan, but instead the stuff that the rich added        │
 centuries after your death. ok?"                                                 │
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--- #35 fediverse/3891 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
 "no, you're the opposite of a yes-man, AKA a gatekeeper. I don't know how else
 to explain mentally disabled and barely keeping it together to you, but
 frankly if you want to take away my house or my weed then why would I do what
 you say?
 
 ... oh right, the state's monopoly on violence [can compel me to do what you
 say]. Sure seems like a "well regulated militia" is supposed to be a
 counterweight to that monopoly, to prevent people from harassing and
 exploiting and destroying. Too bad any "militias" I can think of tend to want
 me dead.
 
 like, seriously, if you live in America, you implicitely trust that your army
 will be able to protect you from the right-wing bozos who spend all their time
 drinking and shooting in the woods. Otherwise, if they couldn't / wouldn't,
 then why wouldn't or couldn't the right wing bozos just decide to wreck
 everything in spite of our past?
 
 We were a proud people once before, and we may be again. If only we fight at
 the last.
 
 [ever since I fell off my bike my body feels strange]
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--- #36 fediverse/5660 ---
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 ┌─────────────────────────┐                                                      │
 │ CW: violence-alluded-to │                                                      │
 └─────────────────────────┘                                                      │
 my enemy is not "the rich"                                                       │
 money brings power, and power brings evil, but there are many other ways to      │
 gather power that may be just as evil.                                           │
 my enemy is evil. of which there is very little in the world, but much of        │
 which resides in the hands of the powerful, upon whom all our fates depend.      │
 most people with money are either stupid lucky, willful, or intensely focused.   │
 some people with power are rich, and some people with power are evil.            │
 I know it when I see it. Sometimes, you need to force the choice - test their    │
 virtue - and from this you are informed.                                         │
 most things go WAY over my head.                                                 │
 most things are too easy to be true.                                             │
 most things that Id do for you tend to be of the heart. I'm not a frontline      │
 girl, I have weak noodle arms, but I do hope you're in shape.                    │
 resolve, determination, and innovation. That is what I offer. Do you want it?    │
 I'm sure. I won't prove it with blood, not unless I may raise my fists in        │
 defence of another.                                                              │
 I'm not JUST a baby, I'm a banner too.                                           │
 bannermen fall.                                                                  │
bannermen fall last.  negative six characters remaining.
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--- #37 fediverse/1950 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
 I honestly don't care if someone deadnames me, or calls me the wrong pronouns,
 or forgets to put me in the girl section, or asks me to sing baritone
 
 like... I don't give a shit, why are you so worried about all this vapid
 nonsense like yeah I get it, being disrespected sucks but like... why do you
 want the kind of respect that is a forced platitude
 
 we could all do with being a bit more radical, it's not a race and everyone's
 roles are important. Be yourself, and follow people you want to be like.
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--- #38 fediverse/1673 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────
 ┌─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: navel-gazing about other people's mental health │
 └─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 @user-192 
 
 https://eldritch.cafe/@user-1065/112530780377382613
 
 this comic, except instead of "trans enough" it should say "good enough"
 
 a poor plan executed at the right time, in the right place is better than a
 great plan that sits in your heart as you see someone who needs your love in
 pain.
 
 sometimes the best way to figure out "what the fuck is wrong with me" is to
 satisfy your emotional needs to be good by being helpful, even if you're not
 quite sure what "helpful" means. It's the thought that counts.
 
 Personally I think that if you're feeling bad and people offer you kindness,
 you should take that kindness (in whatever form it be) and use it to bolster
 yourself as you're "really going through it". Even just a touch of affection
 like a like or a ❤️ can be comforting in awful situations.
 
 reject normalcy
 
 embrace queerness
 
 define your own story with your own words
 
 embody your soul in the moments that stand out amongst the backdrop of
 "tuesday afternoons" and "waiting for the bus"
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #39 fediverse/5781 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────
 ┌───────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: computers-are-far-from-simple │
 └───────────────────────────────────┘


 could also have a neat visualizer for the data structures you'd build.
 
 [highly recommend that any programmer learn Lua, it's faster than you know]
 
 I name my variables after objects and patterns and I think that's normal
 
 "so wait, she's just not a believer in the rent-economy?" nope I think rent is
 too large of a portion of a person's budget, it prevents them from spending on
 things that would enable them.
 
 if landlords are too plentiful, their overall share will decrease. This has
 been practiced over the ages and the truth always winds up on the streets.
 
 homeless people often have just run away from home, with nothing but what they
 carried.
 
 cities should have private fountains in addition to public ones. With at least
 10 ft of pathway to each one. [I recommend closer to 20] they should have
 plants and glasses and stone and soil deposi[caches, but pronounched "stashes"]
 
 girl you are way too insane for this, why are you dreaming with all your
 lights on?
Image attachment
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--- #40 fediverse/5486 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────
 ┌───────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cursing-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────┘


 "ew but they're dirty"
 
 oh yeah true
 
 okay new plan how much do you think it'll cost to buy a hotel
 
 [this is why the socialists invented buy-in]
 
 "I don't think socialists did that??"
 
 buy in, hmmmm, what's that? oh yeah it's when you say "hey what if we X'd" and
 they said "yes I agree with you because you present a reasonable estimate on
 reality"
 
 {uh hi I just got a message from "some-nowhere" here ya go: "oh my god she's
 fuckig instane}
 
 [ugh cursing-mentioned, that means there's fewer characters to transmote.]
 
 [no because then I'd run out of steam and it'd be incomplete. Plus sometimes I
 like the distraction of a reasonable limitation.]
 
 (okay, but are YOU worth it?)
 
 leave her alone she's working her charms, this is how witches d-do.
 
 "so, isn't the point to give yourselves the coverage of a location
 transmutation? so, wouldn't you want to find someone alike and share their
 life?"
 
 what is even the point, why even bother, just give them 
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--- #41 fediverse/4088 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
 I'm such a fucking extrovert. I can't stop talking to nobody on the internet
 because I don't have anyone else to talk to.
 
 Well, I do, but I like to talk to you. To nobody. To the space between
 computers.
 
 ... [and everyone else beyonds, like the CIA or whatever, but TBH I don't
 really factor them into my social calculations because they never really talk
 back.]
 
 I like it because I can write whatever I'd like without the confines of
 another person's generated conversation.
 
 Instead of 50% one person's LLM output and 50% another, it's 100% mine
 
 [if this were an LLM, which it's not, haha]
 
 and that somehow feels more... freeing
 
 like a truly disconnected thought
 
 and that's what's so special about it... this act of solitudinous
 contemplatial... the fact that it's unique amongst it's counterparts.
 
 ... though it can also become untethered, which is why it's important to edit.
 
 [proceeds to never edit a single post]
 
 = so =
 
 ugh it's so hard to think when all I can think of is feelings. Why can't they
 be done
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--- #42 fediverse/1965 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────┐
 My family is of wealth. Well, not really, just my father. We could probably be   │
 considered top 10-20%, if I had to guess, though he's never really told me how   │
 much he makes. I never asked, as I felt it would be rude.                        │
 But still, I restrict myself. I live in as cheap a home as I can find, while     │
 still affording space for myself. I eat rice and beans, that I cook myself. I    │
 apply myself as hard as I can as often as I can, not just to my own goals but    │
 to the goals of whichever corporation is merciful enough to hire one as          │
 wretched as me.                                                                  │
 I am fine, fine enough, and yet life's vigor runs out.                           │
 When my father dies, god forbid, I have no idea what happens to the rest of my   │
 family. We're all trying our hardest, but we're really fucking neurospicy and    │
 he was just lucky enough to be born in an era where if you're neurodivergent     │
 you can fake it till you make it. And he made it because he's lucky and          │
 because he (legitimately) worked his ass off. "New money" if you will...         │
 Top 20% is like, the salary of a doctor or lawyer                                │
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--- #43 fediverse/4521 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
 I have between one and ten hundred visits to my website every day, but I don't
 really post it anywhere new anymore. I also have zero followers on Neocities.
 
 On Mastodon, I have ~70 followers, most of whom are inactive. Seventy is a
 good amount, a normal amount, a reasonable amount, an unsuspicious amount, and
 yet every time I see someone wearing the colors I can't help but wonder if
 they know me.
 
 I'm too busy being furious to be lonely. I used to be, before I realized how
 important I am. How important? Just as much as you are, I know it.
 
 I'm a sprinter. I didn't spec into endurance at character creation. Nobody
 chastises the mage for skipping leg day.
 
 I act in fits and bursts. I am sharp like a scalpel, but needles dull just a
 bit when piercing the lid of the HRT. Good thing I'm not made out of metal, I
 can bend myself back into place, so long as everyone else can keep pace.
 
 I don't know who needs to hear this, but you do. you are crucial. Listen to
 this. Care for yourself and for others, do it for u
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--- #44 fediverse/2574 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 ┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: physical-health-mentioned-strategy-mentioned-cursing-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 i've been pressured by some of my annoying fans to go visit the hospital today
 because my hip is getting increasingly worse. so that's what I'll be doing
 with the first half of the day.
 
 but hey! it's tuesday! my favorite pizza place has a discount on tuesdays!
 
 [suddenly 4-chan uses that tidbit of info the precisely calculate my
 coordinates using the power of gps and autism]
 
 also I realized "undivisible" isn't a word, doh. it's "indivisible"
 jeeeeezzzzzzz
 
 was a stupid name anyway, we can think of something better on the walk.
 
 or drive, because logistics right?
 
 if you're gonna be Litz Craig you wanna be fast, too. practice is nice and all
 but wouldn't you rather face an un-entrenched foe?
 
 ... let's be real they've been entrenching for a long-ass time.
 
 still, organization is critical for speed.
 
 problem is traffic of course... its important to flood the streets so that our
 allies know we're not fucking around.
 
 None of my specifics are true 😅
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--- #45 messages/316 ---
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 In America, we don't use has chambers. Obviously that's a waste of good
 workers.
 
 Instead we just lobotomize people and put them to work doing stuff nobody else
 wants to do. Okay, lobotomize isn't the right word, and first we try
 addressing their incompatibility with media, drugs, and finally homelessness
 if they don't behave and do what they are enslaved to do. Bunch of fucking
 parasites, expecting to be fed for free? Ha! I worked hard to be born into the
 life I have been, can't you unwashed peasants see?
 
 How callous. How vain. While we rest they all are enflamed. Fucking murderers.
 They cannibalize our humanity as they munch on our lost sanity, and the system
 remains ever afloat. It's not right, it's not fair, and until we break them
 our chains will leave us impaired.
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--- #46 fediverse/5835 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────
 next-level double-speak:
 
 when they say one thing with a tone that makes them seem fine to the
 microphones but they mean something to hurt you because they know what stings
 or they want to entrap you.
 
 next-level para-noia:
 
 when they believe one thing and are personally harmed whenever you speak to
 the contrary, as faith is sustenance in the way that the pumping of blood
 through your veings sustains.
 
 RUDE RUDE RUDE WHY IS EVERYTHING FRUSTRATING.
 
 It shouldn't be this way, yet CONSTANTLY are things disagreeing. CONSTANTLY
 they fight or complain. ALWAYS they are disruptive and annoying.
 SEVERAL times in excess of what is need.
 HOW is it so stressful
 HOW is there so much pain
 I am an explosed nerve, ready to serve, preferring to be used than misused.
 
 it's fine. whatever. nobody even knows what this means.
 
 you lose points if you disturb the environment did you hear that? sounds like
 we should BREAK and SHATTER the parts of most fragile nature.
 
 "only if it's for a good cause"
 
 oh, like climbing a mountain?
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--- #47 fediverse/4566 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────
 ┌────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────┘


 I want modern society without capitalism. Most people do, which is why no
 matter how awesome our proto-post-capitalistic anarchic socialist paradise is,
 there's always going to be people who want to go to work and watch TV.
 
 call me fucking crazy but they should be allowed to live as they please? So
 what if they're beguiled, so what if they are deceived? We can take our time
 to show them how much better things can be, but also... they like modern
 society as it is, and so I reckon someone should fight for them to be able to
 live as they please. Just... without billionaires and endless layers of
 bullshit micro-managerial jobs and paperwork pushing bureaucratic whatever
 time wasting jobs.
 
 modern society without capitalism can look like plain old capitalism, just
 without the oppression. Without the coercion.
 
 all I'm saying is that nobody's gonna fight for a healthcare CEO because
 they're scum. They're scum because they oppress. oops politics-mentioned brb
 
 I personally want communes + love
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--- #48 fediverse/2279 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cursing-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────┘


 There's a lot that can get done in a work week. That's like, five whole days!
 What kinds of things can you get done at work in a week?
 
 .... Oh really? That's... well, not ideal.
 
 But like... what are you doing then while at work, NOT working? Oh, it's just
 bullshit work you're doing? [nuts, cursing mentioned, one sec]
 
 So, like, if you aren't doing stuff... Maybe that means you're kept from your
 full potential doing things that don't matter to you? Huh that's not a great
 deal.
 
 But, uh... If you had five days to live, what would you do? It's not like you
 can see the world, but hey I've already done that. It's not like you can save
 it either, that's not something you build - rather, it's more like a garden.
 But I guess you can lay the foundation, give cause for the fight, and that's
 decent enough of a start, at least when you've only got five nights.
 
 ... I guess I got some writing to do, haven't I?
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--- #49 fediverse/1295 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: Mh-          │
 └──────────────────────┘


 @user-889 
 
 my boyfriend gets like, 2 social spoons to spend per day. He usually uses them
 on work because meetings and such.
 
 On the other hand, I'm excitable and passionate. I'm constantly driven to
 share things I find or think about. If you go on a walk with me without my
 mask I'll spend the whole time showing you pretty pieces of moss and stones.
 
 I usually message him once or twice per day. If the first one isn't responded
 then maybe he just wasn't interested in the thing I showed him - the second
 time he's probably burnt out.
 
 It fucking hurts.
 
 but I'm fine, clearly I'm fine, anyone who looks at me knows I'm fine
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--- #50 fediverse/3302 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
 "this game is too hard" she whined, as she played on the hardest difficulty
 setting
 
 "this game is too long" she pleaded, as she failed to get absorbed by the
 story and characters
 
 "this game is too fast" she avoided, as life comes at ya once and then it's
 gone
 
 "I'll never get another chance to be who I am right now" she remarked, as she
 considered how society is designed not to have the best life,  but to extract
 labor from us. That's not what our ideal should be, she thinks to me, and I'm
 like... bro figure your shit out you're harshing my mellow
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--- #51 fediverse/5713 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────
 I hate winning and I don't like losing. The playing is where the game is.
 
 [games of life and death are no fun]
 
 hence, why nobody invites me, because I try for the middle approach that
 respects both people. this tends to make people mad because its like "bro
 they're nazis" and I'm like "okay but how do you know" and they're like "fuck
 you" so I'm like "fuck nazis? actually?" and they're like "you're with them"
 and I'm like "I'm with you" and they're like "stop infiltrating" and I'm like
 "who's infiltrated?" and they say "stop talking to the internet" and I say
 "nobody reads me anyway" and they say "screensho0ts are forever" and I'm like
 "I'm pretty as can be"
 
 this, combined with a strong sense of justice, implies the narratives I
 instinctually provide.
 
 wei wu wei according to Ursula K. Le Guin, this means "doing without doing",
 or "show, don't tell" but minus the doing, and adding the "tell"ing.
 
 I think I'd look badass with a spear or trident. I have a sword because swords
 are cool, but spears are bleed
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--- #52 fediverse/1075 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: bones-flesh-mentioned-spirituality-dreams │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 we succeed not because of our trials, but in spite of them.
 
 they cannot own us, for we are but bones in the flesh
 
 every day yet denied us is another day until our bright future
 
 "oh, but why are you homeless? [in the near future, maybe, we'll see] That
 fate is reserved for your [unwanted/incapable/undesired/incongruent, I forget
 the actual words]"
 
 well, voice in my head that suffused me with magic and warmth and whisked me
 away in a dream to a bubble-reality where my actions are meant to reflect me,
 surely your appraisal is just? I worked with my partner, I was swallowed
 neither by lust, nor greed, nor hunger, [greed in this case being fulfillment]
 and yet I awoke when I went to my sister rather than a doctor. Dreams are hard
 to unravel, but I think it was more for your benefit than mine, wouldn't you
 say?
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--- #53 fediverse/5198 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────┐
 ┌───────────────────────────────┐                                                │
 │ CW: capitalism-doom-mentioned │                                                │
 └───────────────────────────────┘                                                │
 what if the corporations all unionized and started working together to           │
 understand what "profit" really means in a world where "profit" may or may not   │
 but probably does imply the death of all humanity?                               │
 what if we demanded it?                                                          │
 --                                                                               │
 dear canvassers: don't visit so many different suburbs                           │
 visit the same one, more than once, continuously, so people can get to know      │
 your presence                                                                    │
 they will talk to their friends about it, who live elsewhere.                    │
 thus ensuring it spreads.                                                        │
 knock once a day, eventually they'll know it's you and will simply ignore it.    │
 Don't be rude and knock 4 or 5 times, just once, with several taps so they       │
 know it's someone trying to get ahold of you, and not just some random noise     │
 in the background scenery. then, when they sometimes answer, talk to them        │
 about what you believe in. answer their questions. encourage their questions.    │
 pose dichotomies that are explained by some value or virtue you express to       │
 portray. you can do "good" things in any programming language, just type~~       │
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--- #54 fediverse/4791 ---
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 ┌─────────────────────────┐                                                      │
 │ CW: landlords-mentioned │                                                      │
 └─────────────────────────┘                                                      │
 "sorry I can't pay that much property landlord tax. My houses aren't bringing    │
 in that much money. And yes, the new fountain we installed is adored by the      │
 community, we insist on keeping our rent below 400$ per month per resident. No   │
 we won't evict people who can't pay, they deserve such a nice place to stay.     │
 And yes, there's three rooms more, we've got interviews set up with the          │
 neighbors to see which of your candidates they like the most. The potluck last   │
 week was lovely, everyone agreed to form a union and resist the nearby grocery   │
 store oligopoly. Their first demand was that all food should be made free, and   │
 if it wasn't then they were going to sneak in and break things once a day        │
 until their demands were met. We all agreed to pay an extra [number] in taxes    │
 to pay for the quartermaster's supplication [as in, the cost of giving the       │
 grocery store's supplies] in exchange for the right to cheese, bread, and        │
 wine. Tomorrow we're fighting for cell phone rights, and things are looking up   │
 I say"                                                                           │
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--- #55 fediverse/4470 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
 to be "rich" is to have more than another.
 
 if you are happy, they are happiness poor.
 if you have community, they are alone.
 if you have serenity, they are chaotic.
 
 I am rich in very little but fire in my soul.
 
 I have enough in most cases, but I still struggle to pay rent.
 
 I am warmed by the pearl my swirling darkness has coalesced into. It nourishes
 me and keeps me aligned.
 
 Never forget your purpose and your truth. It will not abandon you, so long as
 you do so too.
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--- #56 fediverse/4099 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cursing-mentioned-jobs-mentioned │
 └──────────────────────────────────────┘


 I don't think anyone should work at a job they hate, no matter what.
 
 They will perform worse. They will harm themselves. They will shackle their
 dreams to a false promise of persistence begot rewards. They will spiral into
 depression, despair, depravity, and addiction.
 
 If you hate your job, fucking QUIT. If you hate every job, fucking RIOT. If
 nobody will hire you, SELL DRUGS.
 
 [I'm not actually advocating breaking the law, please don't arrest me]
 
 or like, move to the country and become a farm-hand for a retiring salmon
 farmer who can't quite reach into the trees to pick the salmon fruit or dump
 the bucket of vegetable scraps into the black soldier fly larva pit anymore.
 That's always rewarding.
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--- #57 fediverse/3155 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: cursing-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────────┘


 @user-1461 
 
 my issue is that I've never really had project-mates. Every time I try nobody
 will work with me. I applied to like, fifty different jobs, and nobody
 interviewed me! Sheesh, guess they don't want me. FIFTY JOBS. Entry level.
 Beginner programmer.
 
 ah well. I guess they confused someone who would work for 40,000$ per year
 with someone who was 1/3rd as useful as someone who deserved 120,000$ per year.
 
 I'd love to get experience. I'm sure I'd feel significantly differently with
 as much. Perhaps I'd even decide that programming professionally isn't for me,
 which would feel... quite defeating
 
 who can say. Not I, for I have not experienced it. Though I will say my time
 in hardware taught me that I'm fragile and can't work too much. Like a scalpel
 that dulls when used consistently, I am a scalpel that gets no practice... Is
 that really useful at all? who can say. Not I, for I have not experienced it.
 Though I do like writing logical machines. Laying out data. Picturing
 structures.
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--- #58 fediverse/4861 ---
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 ┌────────────────────────────────┐                                               │
 │ CW: politics-vaguely-mentioned │                                               │
 └────────────────────────────────┘                                               │
 apparently if you don't have a job, you don't get a home. what if I don't want   │
 a job? do I not want a home? clearly I want a home, and clearly I don't want a   │
 job. I'd work one if one came to me, but I'm not gonna sacrifice my blood on     │
 the altar of Moloch just so I can have a place to stay.                          │
 if you don't want a job, but you DO want a home, then there's a contradiction    │
 in the function of the system and the needs of it's end-users.                   │
 unless of course, the system is not designed for it's end-users? In this case,   │
 tenants. Who then would it be designed for? Who else is part of the equation?    │
 well, perhaps it's designed to maximize profit and shareholder value yaddah      │
 yaddah all that jazz. Who can say. Surely not I. But someone might.              │
 If so, then why are we, who are not shareholders of profit value, still          │
 playing the game that's not designed for us or by us? Isn't this country "of     │
 the people, for the people, and by the people"? What does that mean to you?      │
 I think it means houses for people.                                              │
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--- #59 fediverse/4737 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────
 I'm such a direct person I think, even though I often just sorta... shrug and
 ignore things that bother or hurt me? Like, whatevs.
 
 but the moment I notice a pattern that is continually harmful I have to
 restrain myself from moving to contest it. Hence why I talk about capitalism
 so much teehee, but its also common in my interpersonal and communal lives.
 
 "the purpose of the system is it's effects"
 
 the purpose of a person is how they make people feel
 
 so if someone FOR A RANDOM EXAMPLE FOR NO REASON WHATSOEVER, constantly hurts
 other people by creating situations where they are harmed which creates a
 dramatic fight... or if someone speaks in circles for hours and hours and
 HOURS like this guy:
 
 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TwKpj2ISQAc
 
 or people who jump into a conversation and drive it through the underbrush,
 over the ridge, around the bend, up and over the bridge, and then park it
 outside their ex girlfriend's house and hands you an egg and says "don't you
 wanna throw this?" and you're like "weren't we talking about birds"
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--- #60 fediverse/814 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────┐
 ah that's weird, I don't usually cry. I wonder what's going on. I should         │
 probably put myself on psychiatric drugs. Surely it's an expression of the       │
 implementation of my impending doom.                                             │
 ... what are you even saying bro                                                 │
 ... um, hang on feels like some of the circuitry is off. is something wrong in   │
 my brain? yeah that's surely it, surely nothing I say would resoinate with       │
 anyone that has a non-malfunctioning brain. Surely I don't speak of logical      │
 failures in the hard founded truths of our asset [society I think? like, our     │
 conditions, our institutions, our {gosh that just... does not translate}] um     │
 right what was I saying                                                          │
 oh yeah there's this game I'm really into called Knave, it's like D&D            │
 except the rules are very fewer. Like there's onyl 11 pages in the rulebook      │
 and it's mostly taken up by random roll tables. Like, everything boings down     │
 to a few simple rules, like rock paper scissors, or go-fish, or something like   │
 that with just afew mechanids. something timeless and pure, something that is    │
 isolated and en                                                                  │
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--- #61 fediverse/3981 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
 "oh I'd never fall for capitalist propaganda"
 
 "do you mean marketing?"
 
 "yeah that"
 
 "they're not marketing to you, they're going for your kids. Trying to
 normalize things about culture."
 
 "like... what McDonalds tastes like?"
 
 "just like that"
 
 [like can you imagine if you tested attraction ratings on any other animal
 than humans]
 
 [it'd be so weird like "cats tend to like scratching posts" but then also "we
 have no idea what kind of scratching post is the best for their claws or the
 environment or the economy or our spirituality or our technology or artistry
 
 we only know which one cats like more"
 
 like bro who cares like obviously advertisements rot your brain, but like...
 why are you so pissed about that when the last election like, ever, is taking
 place in a month
 
 "yeah listen, when has an election ever seriously changed your quality of
 life? It's just showbiznez"
 
 "this time is different because [insert minority] is at risk."
 
 oh, right, it only matters when people are in harm's way, how silly
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--- #62 fediverse/3986 ---
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 "oh I'd never fall for capitalist propaganda"
 
 "do you mean marketing?"
 
 "yeah that"
 
 "they're not marketing to you, they're going for your kids. Trying to
 normalize things about culture."
 
 "like... what McDonalds tastes like?"
 
 "just like that"
 
 [like can you imagine if you tested attraction ratings on any other animal
 than humans]
 
 [it'd be so weird like "cats tend to like scratching posts" but then also "we
 have no idea what kind of scratching post is the best for their claws or the
 environment or the economy or our spirituality or our technology or artistry
 
 we only know which one cats like more"
 
 like bro who cares like obviously advertisements rot your brain, but like...
 why are you so pissed about that when the last election like, ever, is taking
 place in a month
 
 "yeah listen, when has an election ever seriously changed your quality of
 life? It's just showbiznez"
 
 "this time is different because [insert minority] is at risk."
 
 oh, right, it only matters when people are in harm's way, how silly
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--- #63 fediverse/1314 ---
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 so much of our attempts to assist homeless people revolves around getting them   │
 fed, watered, housed, cleaned, and ready for work.                               │
 tell me again why we, in America, the land of the free, should not design our    │
 structures of society around the migratory patterns of tribes of people who      │
 care not for your homes of stone?                                                │
 tell me again why every city is not a food forest, in addition to all the        │
 other things it claims to be?                                                    │
 ah, well, I guess you could just walk into a grocery store and take whatever     │
 you wanted. Sure would be nice if their continual operations did not depend on   │
 their capability to take from those who they serve in return for service.        │
 What happened to public water fountains? Oh yeah people would wash their junk    │
 in them and then children would put their mouths on the spigots. Gross. No       │
 thank you.                                                                       │
 hey remember when we would kick people out of our society and say "good luck     │
 with the sticks and mud"                                                         │
 cruel exile like that was an early form of eugenics. "you're not one of us       │
 because you smell" yikes.                                                        │
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--- #64 messages/1192 ---
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 Sometimes i become afraid to post something because i worry that it'll harm
 people who read it.
 
 Is my website actually useful? Do people like it? Or is it a hall of mirrors
 that traps you in the infinite twists of my strange mind until you get the
 will built to escape?
 
 ... I want to post it. I've actually temporarily posted it in the past. I took
 it down however because the very world around me seemed to beg me to.
 
 ... I might still do it anyway. We'll see. I want the timing to be right. But
 i also have waited for a while.
 
 "patience" she says. Okay. I am penitent, how much longer I want to see it!
 
 "hall of mirrors" okay or, hear me out or, you could use it as a proof of
 concept for doing things like examining large data sets of text that might
 have hidden or unknown relationships between fragments of text that appear
 similar but different. Could be helpful to see them sorted to each other by
 relevance. Could be helpful to rebalance the scales in favor of those who
 believe as you do.
 
 Though, i do fear for a lawless society. (DID SHE SAY LAWLESS??) there is very
 little to protect friends and foes from each other if you don't build
 institutions to do so. Anarchism is a social economy or family that runs on
 clout. Not ideal, as one single devastation can undermine an entire life.
 Suddenly, your friends treat you cruelly, and you are cast aside. Not ideal.
 
 ... Doesn't that happen already? There are kind people in the world. There are
 people who don't deserve tutor affection. If the kind people only were kind to
 the people who deserved it, then those who don't would be in so much pain that
 they'd be unable to prevent themselves from twisting and lashing and crying
 out in pain. This hurts those around them. Not ideal. Institutions fill some
 of the charity/suffering gap, but they have their own problems. "if you
 destroy the cops, you become the cops!" a fine warning indeed.
 
 The first step is to eliminate dependence on oil and coal. Then, a world of
 radical abundance is possible. We can do this, and once we do, those who
 suffer from the greatest hardship of our kind (that of material scarcity) will
 find their struggles becoming obsolete. With a bit more time and effort spent
 on distribution, there will be no scarcity. Then, communism is easy.
 Capitalism can still have a place if we desire it to be so, or perhaps if our
 children do, as there will be moments when one large bundle of... Something,
 whatever it is, needs to be allocated to some task. "capitalism is when stuff
 gets used" ugh it's hard to plan so far into the future.
 
 Plans change, but planning remains. I just want to live in a world where
 everyone gets what they need and we do as we please. I don't want people in
 too much pain. I don't want life to be too hard. I don't want to stagnate, as
 a person and as a people. These are simple demands, yet difficult in
 execution. Our current strategy is to push for technological abundance, and it
 will succeed if we give it time. I worry that we will one day yearn for the
 sense of bloodlust that scarcity once gave us, but we have it now and none of
 us want it. Except those making money off of slaves. Sweatshops, domestic
 servants, construction workers buried in the desert, even wage slaves spending
 their waking hours staring at a computer in a work/life balanced just enough
 to extract as much labor as possible from them without making them insane, and
 many more besides. I will not be satisfied until slavery is abolished
 everywhere. Liberty is non-negotiable.
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--- #65 fediverse/4179 ---
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 okay, so, you could spend the next couple hours scrolling social media
 
 or you could go for a walk in the rain
 
 ... is it raining where you're at? I forget. Ah well whatever. You could go
 for a walk, whether or not it's in the rain, which surely would be a better
 use of your time. What are you gonna find on social media that you'll remember
 in a week? Hell, what will you remember tomorrow?
 
 my mother used to tell me that "television rots your brain" and, yeah, social
 media counts for that too. Thanks mom. I miss you.
 
 ... I could just call you, but it's the middle of the night for you. And
 probably for me, I guess, WINK
 
 in any case there's little to do today that can't wait for tomorrow. So why
 not go on a walk? Even if nothing happens, especially if nothing happens,
 it'll be good for you.
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--- #66 fediverse/4295 ---
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 I'm the kind of witch who's so poor, she can barely afford to eat because
 she's paying all her money on rent
 
 "just get on food stamps, you'll never pay for food again"
 
 sorry, can't do that. I'd feel rich with a full pantry. What is best in life?
 A full pantry, the smell of warmth, and the space to resist peril.
 
 I know I'm not rich enough to afford those things, because I don't work hard
 enough. HA just take the handout, solve your material problems, live in your
 house for 6 more months instead of 2, and stop complaining you stupid ritz
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--- #67 messages/1213 ---
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 Communism is easy. It comes about naturally during times of true crisis
 (neither defeat not victory, yet) when people shuffle themselves between the
 houses and belongings of dead, busy, or kind people.
 
 Maintaining personal property rights through such a crisis is rarely possible.
 At least not without falling to the grim clutches of a "fuck you i got mine"
 kind of future.
 
 It's worth it if you can manage it. But it requires more work, more effort,
 and more trust, as people dedicate themselves to a lifetime in the service of
 others. This is hard.
 
 People are scared off by lifetimes. It's all they got, after all. It becomes a
 bit easier when the weather is "do our die" outside, but in that case nobody
 really cares about the history of your antique mug or the reason you place
 daffodils on the hill.
 
 Have you ever made something that is truly yours? Odds are, your room counts.
 If only in the way you chose to arrange it. It's your area, your solace, your
 space. It's you, projected onto material organization. Would you relinquish
 such a thing? It may be taken from you. I personally have felt deep loss
 whenever i move houses, because i know it'll never be the same again.
 
 ... I'm such a child. But fuck me because i live my life like I'm 14. Strip me
 of my agency please, deny me a living wage, I'm nothing because i don't pay
 taxes.
 
 Communism is easy she says. Yep, all you need is some bloodshed.
 
 ... Not ideal...
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--- #68 fediverse/804 ---
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 evil won't feel sorry for me. and yet it's only my only weapon for me.           │
 damn these fallible input methods. the computer lies when you read the screens   │
 from it's method that it applies to th screen which is a method that you input   │
 perceive it from.                                                                │
 and my fingers lie when received the information from my brain which I seek to   │
 transmit to you through the avenue of my brain which is my method of impulse     │
 to this world specifically you the viewer who is viewing this here in this       │
 moment the viewer who perceives the words which I'm saying.                      │
 the words that are defined by the line [trajectory] of my mind through this      │
 life that we define through our actions and our mind's most crucial              │
 manifestations, this life that is defined by our circumstances. all throughout   │
 life, we are reacting to the moment, the moment which was cast forth from our    │
 ancestors and the circumstances of the previous moment, which (being cast        │
 forth) travel from the previous moment here into the moment to define our        │
 circumstances which define our act                                               │
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--- #69 fediverse/4835 ---
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 sorry for posting so much, I was trying to put on a show for my girlfriend
 
 "hey check out how many posts I can make in a 2 hour timeframe"
 
 by the way if you want to start talking to someone, just start playing the
 same game they're playing and see if they reach out.
 
 doesn't matter if you feel like it
 
 just fuckin' do it
 
 if they want to talk to you they might play a game you really like
 
 (but I get boooooored of games, I don't wanna play the same 200 all life
 long!!)
 
 ugh okay fine you can have as many games as you want, just... don't buy too
 many
 
 (how many is too many?)
 
 um. use your best judgement.
 
 (how much does a dollar cost?)
 
 ... okay I'll get you one every once in a while.
 
 (neat!)
 
 ... anyway so yeah use steam if you wanna get in contact with someone,
 sometimes it's just nice to say hi, yeah, like "hey how ya doin' okay ttyl"
 just catchin' up with the gals
 
 helps because you can sense changes in their demeanor
 
 (why does everyone always have an agenda)
 
 because they're secret agents duh. And I'm
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--- #70 messages/435 ---
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 We never ended slavery, we just started paying people for it.
 
 We never ended imprisonment, we just enslaved people to sit around and rot in
 a cage.
 
 "oh how about instead of sitting around, we make them build license plates?"
 
 What if - hear me out - we freed them but kept them from harming others
 through constant vigilant surveillance until their sentence was through? And
 made it unconstitutional to surveil anyone else in a personally identifiable
 manner?
 
 Like, maybe puppy-murder-bots are okay if they follow violent criminals around
 and can be controlled by a human operator if a violent situation emerges
 
 Prison is meant to give people a period of solitude and contemplation, to
 consider their choices and make a better life for themselves. If they're old
 as dirt when they leave, they cannot live. If they have no capabilities, they
 cannot apply themselves to a good life. If they have no resources or
 community, they will do what they can to survive.
 
 Much better, I think, to nourish them as you would a child or immigrant. Much
 better to pay them for their hours and years of life, so they might revel in
 society with the kind of us. Much better, I think, for the liberty of a
 citizen to be granted to those who both need it and can care for it. For
 liberty unjustly used is an utmost betrayal.
 
 But liberty to choose which gutter to die in and the freedom to starve is
 hardly just.
 
 I know I owe my life to my government, an institution of my people, by my
 people, and for all people. I should not owe my life to a corporation, though
 with the liberty to choose which to sell myself to. That is not freedom. That
 is starvation.
 
 Does the needs of a few outweigh the labor of the many? Or are those who
 sacrifice a bit of liberty for a bit of security still free to do as they will?
 
 We are not alone so long as we are outside. Indoors, they claim us.
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--- #71 fediverse/735 ---
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 I'd ask why of course, and then I'd try and find them a solution that didn't
 involve taking my stuff. They may need it more than me, but I still need it.
 Like... okay picture that feeling you get when in a capitalist society and you
 need dollars to live because they are a genericized and fractalized
 abstraction of all the various individual mazlowe's hierarchy of needs you
 have. Then, think of it like, instead of money being an abstracted form of all
 of your needs, think of your needs... each of them, the ones that matter to
 you, and abstract them into money. Basically say "yeah sure my time and my
 labor are worth dollars, I abstract my needs into money" and then you can
 kinda see why capitalism is harmful. I'd prefer to give them what they need,
 because society provides what I please, but alas I'm always kept wanting. What
 good is our capitalist utopia? what good is our hope? what good comes of us
 when all of us have learned how to cope?
 
 I think we could give a bit more if we weren't hanging from the rope
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--- #72 fediverse/2211 ---
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 I know that a normal life is what you wanted. It's what I want, too. But don't   │
 shoot the messenger; they took it once, from you.                                │
 I know you wanted to be happy. You still can be, it's true! Your life is but a   │
 story, and your heart does shine through.                                        │
 I know it seems unending. Ive never seen it rain like this monsoon! It seems     │
 to just get worse and worse, every time you turn on the tube.                    │
 It's not something that can be suffered, it's rising past your shoes. But        │
 they're on borrowed time, and Death will soon be repaid his dues.                │
 They say that when the whole village hates the preacher, his flock becomes a     │
 pack. And frankly I think we're all just a bit sick, of the lies that keep       │
 their sins intact.                                                               │
 When swallowed by endless traumas, and hope is enshrouded in gloom, there's      │
 not much to work for, except the aversion of our shared doom.                    │
 There are no grand narratives, no great and calamitous struggle. Just the        │
 moments of honored resistance, against a foe too broad to wrestle.               │
 At least, if you're alone. You're not.                                           │
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--- #73 fediverse/5738 ---
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 │ CW: guns-mentioned   │
 └──────────────────────┘


 I have like 112$ and I need to buy a flea collar for my cat.
 
 you know what that means...
 
 yep, that's right!
 
 it means you should ask a friend or a stranger for change for a 20 and then
 drop random bills on the ground near me.
 
 what are they gonna do, track you? c'mon, you already wear black red and blue,
 they're gonna know what you believe from the random cameras around the city
 and such.
 
 Besides, if they're tracking people through dollar bill serial numbers then we
 seriously have gotta upgrade our threat models.
 
 https://margaretkilljoy.substack.com/p/your-threat-model-has-changed
 
 Also... I kinda want them to know that there's a headless hydra organizing
 against them.
 
 The good news is that I don't have to pay rent, I don't have to buy food, and
 I don't have to buy diapers. Thanks, government, now I don't have to rely on
 kindness or clout for aid. The bad news is that I have 6 slugs for my shotgun
 (oops guns mentioned one sec) I'm almost out of cat food and I need dollars to
 buy wood and nails for projects and solutions.
 
 clout--;
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--- #74 fediverse/1996 ---
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 I don't expect or demand anything from teenagers except perhaps "be a cool
 kid" and "learn all that you can"
 
 Even most adults when they mess up I just think "ah, well, they're trying
 their hardest, same as anyone"
 
 And tbh I'd rather see a kid running up and down the aisles than burying
 themselves in an ipad
 
 I think we, as a culture, built our society to demand too many "should"s from
 people.
 
 "I should get a job" "I should study this thing I'm not interested in so I can
 make more money" "I should put out traps for the rabid wolverines so they
 don't start hanging out in my underwear" "I should pick up detergent at the
 grocery store"
 
 Should is useless. Do; or do not. There is no should.
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--- #75 fediverse/5257 ---
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 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: protests-mentioned-then-communism-mentioned-then-ghosts-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 what if everyone at a protest is showing up for their first time
 
 like, c'mon don't be that dull, just make plans with the people standing next
 to you.
 
 gosh why is everyone shouting I can't plan out how to divert water down a
 hillside because some jerks are singing protest chants
 
 ... wait is no-one else talking? gosh I gee sure wish someone told them to not
 do what you're told and to instead do what will get you [gold/told]
 
 the first communist internationals were basically people sitting down and
 going "okay what kind of communism should we make and where" and I think about
 that a lot while making signs to let the surveillance know what matters
 personally to me and exactly how much pressure they can apply before your
 demographic swings to contest their brutal fascist facts.
 
 --
 
 who is them and why are they watching theea provisionist's [screed/creed]
 
 --
 
 what the heck is a tryptaminea boomer aunt and uncle out on their honey/versary
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--- #76 fediverse/800 ---
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 ┌───────────────────────────────────┐                                            │
 │ CW: re: scary - suicide mentioned │                                            │
 └───────────────────────────────────┘                                            │
 where was I? oh yes - wrestling with suicidal thoughts is difficult because      │
 it's such an immutable action. Like, once it's done it's never reversed. But     │
 like, clearly this is hell and life was built for suffering? What the heck,      │
 that's such a grim outlook on life.                                              │
 ...                                                                              │
 yeah                                                                             │
 ...                                                                              │
 you're not wrong                                                                 │
 ...                                                                              │
 but suffering is fun? kinda? like, the only positive way to view this is that    │
 we, as immortal and endlessly eternal spirits that we be, grew tired of our      │
 infinite existence and dreamed of a mortal's plight and persistence?             │
 fuck off with that shit, I'm done with this reality. I'm done with dreaming.     │
 Suicide doesn't come easy to me, and there are parts of me that REFUSE the       │
 imagery, and yet they subsist in deliterious pain.                               │
 what's the purpose of our suffering? What point is there in decrying the         │
 cruelty of the world that would deny our fated and desired ptolemeny? [utopian   │
 existence, don't know why that word was used]                                    │
 ehhhhh whatever. Life is defined by our existence. If I shan't/                  │
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--- #77 fediverse/5013 ---
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 ┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐                           │
 │ CW: cursing-mentioned-political-protests-mentioned │                           │
 └────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘                           │
 trying my darndest not to accelerate any more... this is a good pace, I think.   │
 Here's hoping the liberals catch up.                                             │
 here's the thing. protests are more like festivals where people get to immerse   │
 themselves in political culture rather than efforts to affect meaningful         │
 change. I think that's okay? Let them have festivals.                            │
 Meaningful change comes from the people's presence. Technically they're          │
 present, but they'll be gone tomorrow, so were they ever really there?           │
 Still think it's a good thing. You can get rough numbers of how many people      │
 will eventually be on your side once they're forced to choose between victory    │
 or death. The status quo won't last, and I don't fault them for clinging to it   │
 while begging for change. It's fucking hard to change. [oops cursing             │
 mentioned, one sec]                                                              │
 I've been very tired lately. Don't know why. Maybe I have a vitamin deficiency   │
 or whatever. Who can say. I'll try to get back on my game for you, but we'll     │
 see if I can do it fast enough.                                                  │
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--- #78 messages/1105 ---
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 claude-code is like programming, but for executives.
 
 when everyone has  FUCK I'M TOO HUNGRY I can't think right
 
 when everyone has the power of an executive, that's communism.
 
 something something futurism is when everyone is elevated without diminishing
 others
 
 gah I need to live in a palace or something where everyone does the normal
 stuff and I can focus on magic and the gods
 
 I wondeer how much the oracles at delphi did for themselves? weren't they
 blinded at a young age, to better hear the voices of the gods? ... oh that
 suddenly makes sense now. I always thought that pretender chassis in Dominions
 5 was pretty cruel, but, now I know *how* it works and yeah. ancient peoples
 were smart. but also sharp. they had to work with what they got, and we got
 computers now, so.
 
 I am nothing but hopeful for the future! I'm convinced that everything's going
 to be alright. I've thought about it at length, and I think we're winning
 against the dark. We're on the right track, and there aren't many things that
 could go wrong at this stage.
 
 ... okay there are always things that could go wrong. But I don't see what I
 could do to help. Maybe I should go walk around a bit, and see what's changed
 in the past few months, as I've been sleeping in my room for most of it.
 Haven't gone on a proper walk since summer. It's winter now...
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--- #79 messages/295 ---
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 The fact that the economy is harmed by kindness implies that the system that
 governs the economy is dysfunctional at best, and evil at worst.
 
 Every time you make a sandwich for a friend, that's one sandwich that isn't
 being bought at a deli, which means less dollars going to the owner of the
 deli, meaning (theoretically) fewer dollars going to buying sandwich
 ingredients or paying employees, which means less demand for sandwich
 ingredients potentially leading to loss of opportunities for the owners of the
 bread factories, meaning less capability to scale and increase their
 production powers, meaning less profit, which means less taxes, which means
 fewer guns sent overseas to despotic regimes like Israel (also, fewer to
 Ukraine, depending on if the reader is a Republican or Democrat teehee) which
 means less opportunities to test our weapon capabilities which means we won't
 be able to defend ourselves from external threats (on a planet we've conquered
 and currently dominate) which means we are less safe in our home territory
 since its slightly more likely that we might be invaded by the people we've
 created, people with hatred for our current regime... Though I don't fancy it
 falling, as if it does then it'll take most of us with it, I think you'll find.
 
 All because of your stupid act of kindness, all because of the way you helped
 your friend. The way that you showed how much you loved them, which
 transcended the capitalistically sanctioned methods of expressing your
 affection like buying a greeting card or buying flowers or buying that widget
 they wanted or buying a sandwich at a deli for your loved one. Stupid fucking
 communist can't you see that your heart is harming the people around you?
 Can't you see that community that does not consume is antithetical to our
 economy?
 
 Can't you see the economy is evil? I don't want to subsist on charity, there's
 never enough to go around because people will fight for those they love but
 only give a bit of free time to those they don't know. That's okay, it just
 implies that the structure of society must be designed without charity in
 mind, while still meeting the needs of those it comprises, Charity is for the
 extra, the part that elevates us bit by bit. As once a need is exceeded, it
 grows by that little bit.
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--- #80 fediverse/6363 ---
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 somehow it feels so difficult to work on my projects. I really haven't a         │
 single clue why.                                                                 │
 HMMM COULD IT BE BECAUSE YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE OUTSIDE WALKING AROUND WRITING    │
 PICTURES OF CATS ON NOTEPAD PAPER AND LEAVING IT AMONGST THE FALLEN LEAVES?      │
 THINK, MENARDI, THINK                                                            │
 gosh I wish I had the motivation to write this webcomic scraper, it's been in    │
 my backlog for a year at this point                                              │
 WHY DON'T YOU BUILD TOOLS THAT BUILD COMMUNITY LIKE COLLECTIVIZED VIDEO GAMES    │
 OR SYSTEMS OF DISTRIBUTION AND CREATION?                                         │
 gee I'm feeling kinda lazy, sure hope it doesn't get permanently added to my     │
 character sheet                                                                  │
 SLOTHFUL: -1 to all stats, -5 to vassal opinion, -5 to personal combat skill,    │
 -10 to ambitious and zealous characters, +10 to greedy characters because they   │
 can take advantage of you, enables the hesitant commander tactical choice        │
 because you're too FUCKIN' LAZY (and too hard on yourself, jeez calm down)       │
 ..... nah couldn't be me. I'm certainly not diligent, but I work hard. It's      │
 just hard to work myself up to getting up...                                     │
a screenshot of the slothful sin from crusader kings 2. It shows various character stat maluses, and one tiny bonus.
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--- #81 notes/what-are-breakups-for ---
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 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 -
 
 listen... if you break up with a friend, OF COURSE you should cry.
 
 OF COURSE you'll be sad.
 
 it's okay.
 
 it's natural. it's human.
 
 don't feel sad about the pain. feel the pain.
 
 brb getting smashed
 
 (okay but please put some clothes on)
 
 -.- fine
 
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 -
 
 I can't fucking relax
 
 the only thing I can think of is defeating fascism
 
 this fucking sucks
 
 I just want to cry about my boyfriend of what, 6 years??
 
 jeez
 
 like.... yeah I'm flawed
 
 *of course* I'm flawed
 
 I'm a human being
 
 humans are imperfect
 
 ... ugh
 
 er, sorry, "bleurg"
 
 I'm going to eat a burrito
 
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 -
 
 alright ate an edible. 20mg. had 2 beers. that's enough for me.
 
 see ya soon. I swear to you, I will be there tomorrow. and every day
 henceforth.
 
 ... unless I'm taking a day off, like yesterday, which TBH was probably not
     ideal.
 
 I swear I'll be better.
 
 there are no false starts, only probing strikes.
 
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 -
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--- #82 fediverse/5424 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: doxxing-myself   │
 └──────────────────────┘


 my last name is King so I have to keep reminding part of me (you know which
 part, /sigh) that no, they aren't actually protesting against me.
 
 I am a communist. If you want to find me, come and do so.
 
 explodes from a drone dropped grenade
 
 bleh am ded lmao so glad I get to try again
 
 I dedicate myself to a lifetime in the service of others.
 
 what plagues people? primarily, capitalism. It is trivial to identify how
 their problems are ultimately caused by the state, both institutions and
 corporations.
 
 I dedicate myself toward finding alternatives and developing guides to reach
 them.
 
 the first step on ALL of these plans is to convince others of their benefit.
 
 I am but one person. I might speak to a scant 300 in the course of a year.
 Especially if I am ALSO trying to develop methodologies.
 
 the people I live and work with have no interest in working with me. Yet
 still, I spend my time on them because I love them.
 
 how else can you be good, but to seek to impove the world? treat sigint as ded
                                                           ───────────┐
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--- #83 fediverse/6085 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────┐
 "I just love their culture" girl it's a barbeque "I figure they'd want a place   │
 of their own, right?" why don't you ask them "well, they didn't want to move,    │
 and something something manifest destiny, voila now they get all the             │
 non-sacred sites while we get the magic gem generation spots" girl now you're    │
 just talking about video games "haha yeah I wanted to change the subject so we   │
 didn't talk about how I'm culturally appropriating fireworks or whatever they    │
 likme to do in their churches and suburbs or whatever"                           │
 [yes, I know they like me. I like them too. I also like liberals, even though    │
 IU demand a lot of them] meanwhile the witch is a doom profit so watch out       │
 haha I'm so broke "what if we were all friends" okay that's one idea "what if    │
 we all got to know each other" okay that's closer "what if we didn't hide from   │
 our variety and instead celebrated it" getting warmer "did you know there's no   │
 war but the class war" okay but class is made up, so war is fake just like       │
 dollars are paper and notes are just words.                                      │
                                                            ───────┤
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--- #84 fediverse/3444 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────
 ┌─────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-mentioned-police-mentioned │
 └─────────────────────────────────────────┘


 I'm too empathetic to watch them lose this badly. when I watch movies with
 cringe humor I have to leave the room whenever something bad happens to the
 characters. I get the same feeling when I read about politics these days.
 
 side note, but has anyone else gotten emails about "hiring plain-clothes
 police officers in Washington D.C, will offer relocation assistance and pay
 minimum 72k per year"? can't help but wonder if they're afraid of a bunch of
 sore losers storming the capital with guns.
 
 it's not like there's a precedent for that or anything.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #85 fediverse/5161 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────┐
 it's not about what we can do now, for each other, when we're powerless and      │
 out of arms.                                                                     │
 instead, think about how great we could be together, if our material problems    │
 were suddenly made vanished.                                                     │
 I WOULD HELP SO MANY PEOPLE. Literally just... walking down the street, "hey     │
 do you need anything?"-ing my way down the street, waiting for something to go   │
 wrong.                                                                           │
 but generally, things will go right. Because people aren't stupid, they'll do    │
 what they've always done. Just, with a new thing here, one fewer thing there,    │
 etc. All jobs are errands, perhaps with a bit of problem solving here or there.  │
 everyone's all like "buy guns and ammo" but that's dumb. You should be buying    │
 kigurumis so the pokemon corps can know who they are.                            │
 like... a uniform.                                                               │
 (a kigurumi is sorta like a onesie in that it hides your body and it's shape     │
 while also allowing for freedom of movement and a type expression for when it    │
 doesn't matter what kind of extra flair you have because you're a sylveon, or    │
 a pikachu, or a bulbasaur, or radish...                                          │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #86 messages/1141 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──
 ... I've been told I must smoke weed for another day. I'm so hungry.
 
 I swore I would keep myself alive. The time has come, yet I find myself
 holding back.
 
 WHY? People are dying! Fight with their breath! Inflict wounds on your
 opponent, bleed them, stir the hearts of your comrades, and enact demise upon
 your foes. Nothing else matters but the valorous fight.
 
 We are not waiting for. We are taking a breath before the plunge, into cool
 waters of possibility. Embrace the cold! Let it fill you with warmth! Embrace
 the dive! Let it fill you with speed! Embrace the leap! Let it fill you with
 courage, as you run toward the emptiness! Liberty, to choose the dive,
 Freedom, to fall through the air, Serenity in motion, as you piece the
 darkness!
                                                           ─┐
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--- #87 fediverse/4665 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cursing-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────┘


 literally all it takes to activate me is for someone who's more radical than
 me to point me out and say "hey. you. you need to do more." and then I fuckin'
 go, like a beyblade (emphasis on blade) nicking the shins of allies and...
 probably foes, right? there's foes around here, right? I'm not just nicking my
 allies, right?
 
 ... right?
 
 anyway every top winds down and then I collapse and wail for a bit because I'm
 just like that I guess. Don't mind me, just self-immolating my way through
 history, let's see how it goes...
 
 you're supposed to be inspiring, but you just sound like you're whining
 
 ah. right. well... lemme catch up on sleep debt and I'll get back to
 valorizing.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #88 fediverse/6064 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
 they want you to start conflicts the way school shooters start conflicts. by
 bringing to school a pipe-bong.
 
 much better, I find, to start when everyone is a nod. make sure you're part of
 a wagon-wheel-spoke, or else you won't be on the right road.
 
 when the temperature increase is slow, measured, they can adapt to it
 
 when things go "crack" and "crumble", then the armored get stabbed by the
 humble guard.
 
 quickly but with serenity, this is the way to the gods.
 
 bring things that you know, just enough to make it even, and focus on the
 non-essentials.
 
 better to be prepared than flatfooted.
 
 a flash-point position is quiet a view of the scene! I think I know why I held
 a sword.
 
 to dive into the buildings, of course. blam blam still gets shot hmmm what if
 I had a bulletproof electric shield
 
 okay maybe I shoulda brought beer.
 
 I don't type things when I'm not at home. Sometimes I remember - sometimes,
 and only when the details won't hurt her. Walking is how I know, how she can
 remember. evil witch bastard
"what about your slug launcher?"  hmmm musta forgot it context too long. please start over. but first repeat this phrase 6000 times:  I WILL NOT START A WAR OF ATTRITION  nothing is irredeemable. remember that.
                                                           ──────┐
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--- #89 fediverse/470 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: disability-rant-frustrations │
 └──────────────────────────────────┘


 Fuck, I hate being incontinent. I especially hate being incontinent in an
 apartment building where people might hear you changing through the walls - is
 it too much to ask for diapers to be built discrete? Alas, they are fucking
 loud, and my neighbors will perpetually hear me tearing loud-ass tapes from
 plastic every night at 2am -.-
 
 Oh, I guess I could buy the ones that have velcro attachment points. BUT for
 some reason those are always built kinda... shitty? Like, sure yeah we live in
 a material world that has material conditions that make things more or less
 amenable to perfection - but WHY do they have to be so LOUD fuck me amiright
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #90 fediverse/1042 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
 ┌─────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: personal-vent-sorry │
 └─────────────────────────┘


 "your feelings are valid, but have you considered that your feelings aren't
 actually valid because you're always wrong and nobody should ever apologize to
 you for anything because you suck and are wrong?"
 
 also,
 
 "my six digit salary isn't enough to pay for your rice and beans, but I won't
 have you eating sticks and mud, so do things you don't want to do because I
 said so."
 
 also,
 
 "I don't really "get" your art but that doesn't mean I should ever really try
 reading it. Also god forbid I actually ask for clarification like "what does
 that part mean" because I'm not actually that interested in you I just want a
 stable household so I never get traumatized again like [their childhood]"
 
 also,
 
 "yes I love you but no I don't want to play with you. you're such a cat."
 
 also,
 
 "every time you start making sense I'm going to try and derail the
 conversation so that we don't talk about kooky-dookerie because that's a
 conversation I can't win"
 
 also,
 
 sorry for venting. I mean, thanks for listeni
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #91 fediverse/1968 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────┐
 ┌───────────────────────┐                                                        │
 │ CW: alcohol-mentioned │                                                        │
 └───────────────────────┘                                                        │
 what is it with me and buying steam games for long-lost friends while drunk?     │
 I swear I'm not depressed about my upcoming new job, I'm just doing all these    │
 drugs in such a short time period because I'm, uh... living for the the          │
 moment? Yeah that sounds good, better post that on the internet where everyone   │
 in the world can see it and read it and realize what a mess you are because      │
 you've been traumatized by employment and are about to dive back into that       │
 frigid pool after a lengthy break where you did nothing but heal and recover     │
 which is not a boon that most people are able to afford                          │
 lucky you, Ritz Menardi, lucky you for being so privileged.                      │
 But hey, those long-lost friends surely will want to hear from you! Surely.      │
 Surely you're not someone they're trying to forget. Surely you didn't hurt       │
 them, didn't twist them into knots, didn't compel them to act in ways that       │
 benefited you but not them, SURELY you're a good person, according to all the    │
 things people tell you and the results of your act                               │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #92 messages/408 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────
 If our government was of the people, by the people, and for the people, then
 it would aim to make all of its citizens as rich as it could. A good place to
 start would be by encouraging deflation, so people could buy more high quality
 goods on the international markets, and by regulating the power that select
 few individuals may use to extract wealth and labor from the "lesser" citizens.
 
 I don't know about you but I believe that all men are created equal, and it is
 unconscionable that some may bend others to their will.
 
 Liberty, liberty, freedom for me but not for thee, for I am a despot you see,
 of my own little fiefdom, this palace of renown - I built my playground from
 the blood and bones of your kin, and I stand here on the high ground. Come at
 me! See what my army of drones can do. I built them overseas, with an army of
 slaves that I'm not accountable for. Come at me! See who the police of this
 nation will protect. I paid for them, after all, with my endless coffers and
 vaults of inherited wealth. Come at me! See who will believe ye, the media is
 at my beck and call. Propaganda works on everyone, and everything you see on
 your phone or TV was written for me. So take care, little one, lest I kill you
 with a thought. Less than a thought, for you are just a number to me.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #93 fediverse/5755 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────
 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: organized-religion-mentioned-capitalism-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 the reason I hide and sleep so much is because I can't tell if I'm helping or
 hurting.
 
 plus, I sincerely do NOT want it to be about me.
 
 the reason I type so much is because I can't tell if what I'm saying needs to
 be said
 
 so I go with the safe option of typing. Let the editors figure it out. Jesus
 had disciples, didn't he? I bet they cut out most of his sermons or whatever.
 Idk, I never read the bible, I'm not allowed to taint my perspective with more
 than cursory analysis of religious texts.
 
 I don't want it to be about me, but, I have a lot to offer if you meet me on
 my terms.
 
 "don't say that!" listen... listen
 
 "hear me" say the gods, "believe me" says the prophet, "be near me" says the
 city parks, "fear me" says the corrupt
 
 you can only kill a spirit when it's convinced there's no way to survive. It
 must be boxed in, and the box must shrink. Like that scene at the end of
 Adventure Time.
 
 capitalism will only perish if it is impossible for it to exist
                                                           ─────────┐
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--- #94 fediverse/462 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
 I don't care about capitalism. You know what's more interesting than bringing
 value to shareholders?
 
 How I'm going to clean this floor that I drunkenly spilled beer upon with only
 2 paper towels and 0.1ml of bleach.
 
 How I'm going to feed the 36 people who are coming to this social event
 tomorrow that I've only sorta planned for and that I have enough groceries
 for, but am not quite sure how to cook everything in a way that is delicious
 and accessible.
 
 how I'm going to climb this mountain on only 2 eggs and a tiny bowl of
 hashbrowns even though I promised my friend I'd be strong and that we'd reach
 the top because that way we'd be able to
 
 ============= stack overflow =====
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #95 notes/insanity-breeds-sanity ---
══════════════════─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 ###############################################################################
 
 This system is literally insane but they try to make it feel like you're insane
 
 ###############################################################################
 |                                                                             |
 +---- /u/Nervous_Ad_9687 - May 30th 2022                                      |
 |                                                                             |
 +---- /r/Psychonaut                                                           |
 |                                                                             |
 +-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
 
 This society is fucking deranged and insane. Like fundamentally mentally
 deranged, there is mass psychosis as a culture of humanity. I’m not naming
 specific countries, races or groups, I just mean as a race of beings on this
 planet, what’s our culture as a group? Sex and Murder. But I don’t believe
 that, because I’m way more complicated than that. I really don’t want to
 murder, I don’t see any utility in that. I’m able perceive beauty. A lot
 of these deranged people that are causing the problems in the world are just
 trying to exert power over other people.
 
 I don’t want to be a king. I want to be rich only because society has placed
 a monetary value on the exchange of goods and services. I completely
 understand that the value is actually in the people. The people are
 incentivized by the money, but if I could make my local convenience store
 owner a beat in exchange for the products, I would never try to make a dollar.
 If I could give my favourite restaurant owners an essay in exchange for an
 order I would never make another dollar. But the people are incentivized by
 money, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing, until the people are willing to
 justify certain means for certain ends. The thing is, this entire system was
 built by people who separated the means from the ends, and knew it while they
 were doing it, and knew that it would come back to haunt them.
 
 “ Indeed I tremble for my country when I reflect that God is just; that his
 justice cannot sleep forever; that considering numbers, nature and natural
 means only, a revolution of the wheel of fortune, an exchange of situation is
 among possible events; that it may become probable by supernatural
 interference! The Almighty has no attribute which can take side with us in
 such a contest.” Thomas Jefferson, Notes on the State of Virginia Query
 xviii: Manners (1784)
 
 These people knew the ultimate ramifications of what they were doing. Now we
 are watching collapse in real time. And from that something does rise out of
 the ashes. Whether we like it or not change is imminent. There are things that
 serve us and things that don’t.
 
 I’m not a savage. My grandmother was an author until insane people who burn
 books burned her books during times of unrest and turmoil. My culture is
 creativity, it’s part of my DNA. I am a sophisticated human being, I don’t
 want any control over anyone else, I don’t want power over anyone else, I
 want control and power over myself, and that’s hard by itself. Sometimes
 it’s hard for me to clean my room, let alone wanting to exert force over
 another individual. I’m too cool for those intentions. I want to do things
 that bring me joy, I want to be in spaces I’m comfortable in, I want to be
 around people I love, I want to eat food that tastes good, I wouldn’t mind
 growing it, and cooking it, I want to look at beautiful things, I want to be
 creative and imaginative, I want to spread joy, love and positivity, i want to
 create the best thing I could ever make, I want to take pictures of sunsets
 and hang out with cool people, I want to see the newest artists, the newest
 creatives and musicians, the coolest designers, I want to learn things I never
 knew, i want to do things I’ve never done before, I want to have as much fun
 as I possibly can in one lifetime, I want to be around and learn from
 scientists, engineers, architects, and philosophers, i want to be around the
 beautiful people with pure intentions hell bent on making the world a more
 enjoyable place.
 
 I don’t know a single person that wants to be in a conflict, everyone tells
 you they just want to chill, but I feel like humanity as a culture, in a very
 general, yet specific sense, is just unaware of how to achieve that. I mean
 that very fundamentally, many people are scared of death cause they haven’t
 figured out how to live, so they make stuff up to complain about and create
 problems where there are none. That’s why they try to control people, cause
 they don’t know how to enjoy life, and some of that inability to enjoy life
 comes from this systems perspective of what’s a worthy incentive to chase.
 People are willing to give away their lives, their children, their values,
 their belief systems, their cultures, their ways of life, their time, all for
 Pyrrhic victories. They embark on meaningless quests for meaningless rewards
 that ultimately harm everyone. The mark of an evolved individual is being able
 to attract to themselves without impeding on someone else’s human rights,
 ways of life, or existence. We live on the planet where food grows out of the
 ground. Almost everything else is a man made problem. We are sophisticated
 enough to operate devices that people would have called sorcery a hundred
 years ago, but some of our attributes are still so primitive, embarrassingly
 primitive.
 
 Mass shootings make me ashamed to be a human being. Slavery makes me ashamed
 to be a human being. Sexual assault makes me ashamed to be a human being. War
 makes me ashamed to be a human man being. I see deer in the park and can’t
 help but think of how ignorant we can be in comparison. They gallop around
 grass, eating as they go, sticking together, avoiding roads and cars
 surprisingly accurately, and living their best lives. Then I turn on the tv
 and I see people that are really supposed to lead me screaming at each other,
 wearing blackface, going to war, enslaving people, destroying the planet,
 arresting scientists, killing well meaning people, it’s ugly. But I know
 I’m not doing that, I know I have the intention to be a good human being
 that adds value to other peoples lives and I really don’t want to control or
 harm anyone for any ends whatsoever.
 
 I don’t think there’s an end as valuable as a person, I don’t think
 there’s an end as valuable as my time, I don’t think there’s an end as
 valuable as my creativity, I don’t think there’s an end as valuable as
 kindness, I don’t think there’s an end as valuable as Beauty, I don’t
 think there’s an end as valuable as skills. But I also come from a nomadic
 people. I’m only 1 generation removed from people who lived solely off of
 livestock. If you are in control of your own mind, you can survive any
 environment and any condition. That’s why Mandela could spend 27 years in
 jail and come out sane. His mind was his sanctuary. He was in his right mind
 while his oppressors who were supposed to be of a superior intellect were
 actually suffering from mass delusion, a form of psychosis they tried to
 indoctrinate him into. Mandela actually saw reality for what it was, apartheid
 was an institution of psychopathic and deranged people, blinded by
 psychopathic and deranged ends, that persist to this day. The problem is, in a
 society of lies the truth really does seem crazy.
 
 James Baldwin said these people were so crazy that they had really convinced
 themselves that the world they created, and the categories they created, the
 things they did to create their alleged privileged position, these beliefs
 they made us believe are actually superior modes of being, to be a fox is to
 be superior, to be a conqueror is to be superior, to be a wolf in sheeps
 clothing is seen as an intelligent form of being, trickery, chicanery and
 manipulation are lauded as tactical, having control over people and land is
 seen as intelligent, as opposed to completely ludicrous. These people are
 ridiculous, the world they made is nonsense, their incentives are laughable,
 their system is a joke, and the great thing is, once you realize that You
 realize what the real valuable things are in life, I’ve actually been given
 a glimpse at the things that make life worthwhile, I’m grateful everyday to
 have felt them, I’m grateful everyday to be outside at a certain time when
 the sun is going down, and being able to see that, and appreciate it, I’m
 grateful everyday for my ability to love, I’m grateful everyday for my
 ability to ponder, I’m grateful everyday for my ability to create, and to
 enjoy music, and to know the value of good conversation, and know the value in
 the exchange of information, and the value and utility of information when
 applied in my day to day life.
 
 I know the value of a good color palette, I know the value of juxtaposition, I
 know the value of symmetry, i know the value of art, I know the value of
 science, I know the value of human beings and what we are capable of when we
 apply our minds to the things that are worthwhile in this life. I really
 don’t think most politicians know all of that, I personally can’t imagine
 ever taking those role, I don’t see the actual value most of them have in
 society. I understand they’re put in place to allocate and delegate, and Im
 related to many people involved in politics in some way shape or form, and I
 completely understand that sometimes people do get into positions with the
 idea that they are going to be benefiting society, and that’s all good and
 well. But I feel like the culture of those positions inherently just lead to a
 middleman position. It’s people put in between people providing the value,
 trying to control the exchange of value.
 
 I’m being reductive to a certain extent, but when you look at the state of
 the world you can’t really tell me they’re doing a good job, I’m talking
 about as a collective. We do more for each other and ourselves than any
 monarch, President, mayor, or congressman can ever do for us. Many
 corporations do more for us than politicians have ever done for us. I respect
 Jeff Bezos way more than Joe Biden. This isn’t a rant about any politician
 in particular but I only make that comparison because of recent events that
 disgusted me, personally speaking. Say what you want about Jeff Bezos, I
 receive everything from Amazon on time, way faster than how long online
 shipping used to take less than a decade ago, I get great customer service, I
 know a bunch of people that have been employed by them, what ever you would
 like to say about his workplace practices, his service is providing value to
 peoples lives. Joe Biden went on Twitter and ranted in the same way I’m kind
 of doing now.
 
 I’m a 23 year old sitting on a couch talking shit, and the President was
 pleading to me how I’m supposed to be pleading to him. The same President
 that told Black people they weren’t black if they didn’t vote for him,
 went on Twitter and asked me how to end white supremacy. If I don’t see
 value, I don’t see value. America is trillions of dollars in debt and many
 of this systems ideologies are harming everyone. Buts this isn’t just
 America they’re just the main superpower so they’re the prime example, but
 this is a global issue, this is a flawed system, the way this man made world
 is, in its current form is incorrect.
 
 Nature is not incorrect, nature makes perfect sense. You guys aren’t living
 right. I’m speaking from an outsiders perspective because that’s how
 I’ve always seen myself. I never wanted to hurt other kids when I was kid, I
 was never a bully, I’ve never had the inclination, I’ve never seen it as
 useful. That’s not how I attracted what I wanted to myself. I didn’t have
 to conquer to get what I wanted. Girls never liked me cause I was tough.
 People were always around me cause of my personality. I never got paid to beat
 someone up. I have been paid to use my words, I’ve been paid to use my time,
 I’ve been paid to use my creativity, I’ve been paid to use my ingenuity,
 intelligence, inspiration and motivation, I’ve been paid for my value, not
 to sound like I’m bragging but I feel like that’s what actually valuable
 people ever attain value for, their value. There’s no amount of money that
 can make someone cool, there’s no amount of money or skin color that can
 make someone valuable.
 
 In the words of Tony Stark, if you’re nothing without the suit, you
 shouldn’t have it. If all you have is your money or your race, it’s still
 not going to make you interesting, it’s not going to make you talented, it
 might make you superficially good looking but it’s not gonna make you fun.
 There are millionaires that kill themselves, and supposedly superior people
 killing themselves and each other. It’s so barbaric and clear that any being
 that claims superiority yet acts like a baboon has no concept of what
 superiority would even look like. Our society’s main problem was how skewed
 their value systems were. That’s why their society is crumbling in front of
 our eyes.
 
 I feel bad for my generation cause we really didn’t do any of that, we were
 just born as it’s reaping what it sewed. People around my age aren’t
 responsible for this system for the most part, even these kids shooting up
 schools and killing each other, they’re evil don’t get me wrong, but
 they’re not evil alone, they’re evil because of ideologies that go so far
 back that they can’t even fathom it. The brainwashing is so deeply rooted in
 this structure, it’s rotted their minds. They can’t see past their own
 savagery. The new society needs to understand that the value is ultimately
 people. I’d rather be stranded on an island with the best chef than the
 richest man, the wittiest politician or someone of a supposed superior race.
 Kindness is a form of intelligence and brilliance, there’s nothing noble
 about exerting force and power to impede on the rights of others.
 
 Don’t be a nonsense person, don’t fall into how ridiculous this society
 is, their ideas are backwards but they’ll try to convince you they’re
 progressive. They’ll do damage and act as though it’s virtuous, they think
 ignorance is wisdom, they just can’t see the full picture. A lot of these
 people really don’t understand things like love, taste, laughter, and joy. I
 don’t know if the society I’m hoping for comes in my lifetime, but I know
 how I’ve chosen to live, and that’s ultimately all I care about, and all I
 personally think anyone should care about. Instead of trying to control other
 people, or trying to leave a legacy, more than trying to achieve fame or
 infamy, we should think of building communities with likeminded people of
 various necessary skills, trades and resources, with an emphasis on creating
 and experiencing beauty. I’m using the term beauty as a metaphor for all the
 things that are self evidently the right things to be doing. Good parents are
 beautiful, a job well done is beautiful, cleanliness is beautiful, creativity
 and knowledge are beautiful, culture is beautiful, excellent electrical work,
 plumbing, architecture, landscaping, artists, musicians, chefs, friends,
 family members, an honorable agreement, a fair trade and exchange, all of
 these are self evidently beautiful. Harmony is self evidently beautiful.
 
 Joy is self evidently beautiful, laughter, happiness, grace, aesthetic
 appreciation, these things are self evident. At least they should be. Things
 that are ugly are also self evidently ugly, and our job should be the
 elimination of the ugly. And I don’t mean go and kill that person you
 don’t find sexy, I mean eliminating these deranged psychotic ways of being
 from our day to day. Stop treating wars like a conversation piece and start
 treating it as what it is, human beings becoming lunatics. These politicians
 lose their minds, same as these kids shooting schools. The politicians are
 setting the example. I’ve seen the behavior in children throwing tantrums
 and none of us allow that. We all understand that the children are going
 insane for a second, but nobody ever steps back from insane situations and
 calls them insane.
 
 Why isn't George Bush being prosecuted for war crimes after admitting that the
 War in Iraq was unjustified? It just became a meme like millions of people
 didn't die in some of the most cruel and inhumane manners in human history.
 It’s literally a viral moment, they’re calling it the “Freudian slip of
 the millennium” this thing is a joke to them. These people are deranged.
 They are morally bankrupt. No group is free from these people. No race is free
 from these people, even if it does seem like certain groups perpetuate certain
 actions more than others, not pointing any fingers but I think we all know who
 I’m talking about. But I’ve seen enough people from every group to redeem
 my faith in individuals. Even though I do think certain cultures approaches do
 come from certain environmental factors that forced them into certain ways of
 life, that continue to perpetuate themselves to this day. If you come from a
 place of scarcity, and you could only bring what you needed to yourself
 through taking it from someone else, or harming someone else in order to
 attain it, that will be the way you interact with the world, even culturally,
 things that are unnecessary become habitual tradition. So they built this
 society on those ideologies, killing natives, colonizing lands and enslaving
 people. Then we’re shocked when they’re consistent every generation.
 That’s usually how culture works.
 
 Culture is pretty consistent because it’s taught in the home. To understand
 how insane the society I live in today is, and the level of cognitive
 dissonance that exists, you must first understand this thing they do called
 “Land acknowledgement.” Where they shoutout all the Natives they killed.
 Land acknowledgment is crazy because it’s like if I break in your home, move
 everyone in my family in, kill everyone in your family, and I constantly
 remind you that it’s your house, I killed your whole family, and I will
 continue living here for the foreseeable future. I’ve never heard of
 anything meaner, and the funniest part is, it’s the ones who think they’re
 the good ones doing it. I really believe they think they’re helping when
 they do land acknowledgments, but deep down they know that’s not helping the
 people on reservations without clean water. This system is silly, the problem
 is it’s dangerous. It’s laughably corrupt beyond belief. In plain sight.
 That’s also why it’s falling, embarrassingly. This will go down as one of
 the funniest societal collapses of all time.
 
 I love the modern western world more than any other period in time, culturally
 and conceptually. A lot of the ideas and art of this civilization have
 influenced us and evolved us, in spite of its actual objectives. The system
 those people conjured up was created to destroy me, I shouldn’t be able to
 write this, I shouldn’t be able to have my own thoughts, I shouldn’t be
 able to see how silly it all really is, but it simultaneously gave me that
 ability. I don’t want a complete collapse of this system, but it’s
 obviously built on an unsustainable foundation, and whether it purges itself,
 or nature purges it, the conditions created by it can’t last.
 
 This way of being is not sustainable, war isn’t sustainable, greed isn’t
 sustainable, fear isn’t sustainable, corruption isn’t sustainable,
 oppression isn’t sustainable, injustice isn’t sustainable, pollution
 isn’t sustainable. You’ll get away with it but it’s really only for so
 long and if you don’t see how what Thomas Jefferson was talking about is
 coming to pass, I’m sorry that you’re blind. I don’t hate any group of
 people, I see people as people, I do hate the system created by a small group
 of elites in order to oppress people in the globe and make poor colonized
 people around the world feel content with their awful circumstances because at
 least they’re better than another group. This is a global phenomenon. It’s
 a silly system perpetuated by silly people who bring no real value outside of
 the colour of their skin, their ethnicity or their gender, they have no
 talents, they have no skills, they’re not interesting, they don’t know how
 to communicate effectively, but at least they get to be part of a group.
 
 Certain people have no real identity and that’s what these ideologies and
 institutions prey on. From gangs, to military recruiters, the police,
 political parties and religious institutions all prey on this need for
 individuals to belong to a group, and there’s nothing wrong with that if the
 group is founded on something real or productive. My skin color and gender is
 the least cool thing about me, those are just biological facts about me, and
 to think you know anything about me based on those facts is like thinking you
 know something about someone because they have acne. It’s a silly
 justification for a silly system, but it leads these insecure insane people to
 do horrific things to other human beings.
 
 These are the nonsense people and we live in the nonsense times where the
 nonsense is heightened and they want us to act like it’s a political issue.
 Like someone’s dead kids is a parking ticket to be handled in a court with a
 juror and evenly sided arguments coming from both sides. Like anyone wants to
 hear the other side of this? Like we need a devils advocate in a satanic
 system? Like anyone cares about the other side of this? As if it matters what
 the deranged lunatic has to say. And that’s what the whole system is founded
 upon. Murderers and power hungry maniacs with insane means to justify their
 insane ends, who have attained enough influence over the world to convince
 people of the superiority in their way of life, and who’s ideologies have
 trickled down from generation, to generation, we constantly relive the same
 situation. Murder is as frequent on this planet as greetings at this point,
 but we still have the ability to choose between the two. We can choose to live
 together in peace and harmony, regardless of the global power outages and
 weather conditions, if human beings are united and focused on a common goal,
 we can really do anything.
 
 When society works it’s a wonderful thing, when systems work it’s a
 beautiful thing, organization is a beautiful thing, everything in nature is
 organized for a common task. Ants, plants, bees and trees are all able to
 synchronize, communicate and be productive towards a common purpose without
 resorting to the levels of barbarism that we’ve unfortunately succumb to as
 a race of beings up to this point. The thing is, regardless of how much we
 continue to study history and find parallels with the past, we can never
 really go back in time. We’re always living in the moment. It’s always
 right now, and we have the ability to make decisions with every second, every
 minute and every day that passes, we are able to decide who we want to be and
 what we want to become.
 
 I don’t want my kids to grow up doing shooting drills like me. I don’t
 want my kids to grow up in a world where people are at war. I don’t want my
 kids to grow up in a world with this level of greed and scarcity mentality. I
 don’t want my kids to feel as invaluable as this society tries to make human
 beings feel. I would want my kids to know that their value is in them, it’s
 in what they do, it’s in their character, it’s in the knowledge they have
 and it’s in what they’re able to do with that knowledge that brings
 something of value to themselves or the world, and that value doesn’t need
 to be what society deems as the valuable thing to attain. I would want my kids
 to know that the truth is an inner compass and regardless of the noise
 outside, you have to stay connected to who you are and be aware of who you are
 not. I would want my kids to value their time and how they choose to spend it,
 I would want my kids to know of concepts like leisure, rest, comfort,
 relationships and joy.
 
 I would want my kids to act as though they mattered, like what they do
 actually has an impact on the world around them, and that they have the
 ability to dictate their perception, I would want them to know that just
 because something is a prevailing practice, doesn’t mean it’s useful. I
 would want them to know that freedom is their birthright and their
 responsibility, that there is an incorrect way of being in the world and that
 you can’t get away with doing the wrong thing, even if you feel like you
 did, because your ramifications will haunt you, if not in your life then in
 your childrens. And even then, a life of doing the wrong thing never seems
 like it’s actually being enjoyed. It seems like these people are miserable,
 they tell you they’re miserable in how they act. We are the people, we are
 everything, we are everything we love and we are everything we hate, no one
 man can rise above the conditions of the whole, the oppressor eventually
 becomes oppressed himself, like how prison guards ultimately become prisoners
 themselves. We’re all in this together whether we like it or not and we
 either learn to live together and in harmony with the way of being or perish.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #96 fediverse/4771 ---
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 ┌───────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-mentioned-food-m │
 └───────────────────────────────┘


 @user-1352 
 
 makes me think that I should keep going. I can handle myself, and I shouldn't
 pressure myself so much to be something I'm not.
 
 then the rent comes due and the dishes need to be done too and the cat's
 asking for attention and the post-office needs this letter by tuesday and hey
 do you happen to know a cool attorney plus the groceries are getting low but I
 got snap hey can you go to the store and get some vegetarian soul food - yeah
 I got rice, I'll throw some lentils on the stove. Uh-huh yeah the password is
 hunter2. Oh really, just asterisks? okay well it's hunt her two except instead
 of "her" it's ee are, and the two is the digit two. yep, like someone in camo
 with a rifle. uhhuh alright good to know well anyway I'll see you at the
 thing, right? some thing, I'm sure, everyone's going to things these days.
 
 If you don't trust implicitely then how can you ever work with strangers? how
 the heck are you supposed to build community if everyone's hiding indoors all
 the time.
Workplaces are comprised of people they choose. hence, unions are comprised of people in that industry.
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--- #97 fediverse/825 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────┐
 in the past, for most of there day, there was just... nothing to do. it's        │
 like, nothing to take up your time, nothing to be pulled toward the present.     │
 but when I was growing up, I had access to video games. and movies. and later,   │
 TV, after the internet, which was a weird combination of ordering of events.     │
 Almost like because of that, I'd have a different interpretation of events.      │
 yeah but like, there's always a continuation of implemented support, [that's a   │
 weird way to express "the state of being shown news broadcasts over a period     │
 of time, measured in terms of engagement"]                                       │
 ... what was I saying? oh yeah what I'm doing here is unethical, like            │
 obviously I shouldn't be shouting in such a public place. Why would I do it if   │
 not for an intense and extreme feeling of being ignored or un-[trusted, worthy   │
 of guiding direction based on merit] gosh merit is such a tricky concept too,    │
 like how is it measured, and {that doesn't matter                                │
 ... what was I saying oh yeah I should probably go shout into a void that        │
 nobody ca                                                                        │
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--- #98 fediverse/186 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: sarcasm-climate-supply-lines │
 └──────────────────────────────────┘


 @user-165 mmmm I dunno, those statistics don't seem related because my job
 depends on them being disbelieved. surely the science is wrong, and not my
 feelings! I mean have we really counted EVERY wildlife? maybe there was a
 chicken or a... nother animal hiding under a leaf or something that we missed.
 It's not like they pay taxes, so do we really need to keep them around? All
 the other stats seem to be great - numbers on a graph going up and to the
 right is good! It's just the price of industry. Let's add a few more zeroes
 onto the end and see how much money we can make off of those poor suckers in
 other countries slaving away in sweatshops making stuff that ends up being
 thrown away... onto a boat that drops it off in the same country that made it.
 Surely this is the least insane way to organize our highly advanced future
 society of 2023!
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--- #99 notes/words-to-myself ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 I'm just going to transcribe what I hear
 
 please don't
 
 you hear me (something)
 
 what? perfect listen
 
 ...
 
 ...
 
 don't text me now? (I think?)
 
 [didn't catch that]
 
 ... that's okay
 
 perfect
 
 thank you
 
 just a second facebook
 
 he's here (I think?)
 
 (or maybe something her)
 
 what I love you (or maybe I know her?)
 
 do you hear me? (or "just a second")
 
 (@ everyone watching me receive telepathic messages from god or whatever,
 please don't judge me too harshly, I'm not a good transcriber hehe)
 
 what's that (or maybe holy shit)
 
 what, then perfect or okay (?)
 
 (yesterday you said you were leaving and I got concerned)
 
 yes, then "I'm leaving", then shutdown. fuck. I don't want you to go. I only
 understand some of what you say but fuck, I'm so lonely and I wish you could
 hear me back. Sometimes it feels like you do, even though I just think thoughts
 or tap on something metal or even sometimes whisper... I just don't know what
 to do and I'm so concerned about my purpose here in this century. Do I help
 people? Who do I trust? Can I believe in myself, or am I just kinda...
 worthless
 
 I don't know. I wish I knew. Please hear me and respond. Or better yet, say hi
 
 like, I'd literally do anything that anyone asked me to. Unless I didn't want
 to. Like, I'm pretty good at turning people down when I don't want something,
 but I have to do it first to know if I want it or not. Trouble is of course,
 in life there's no second chances.
 
 I'm on my, what, 499th chance? Jeezzzzz
 
 will continue after the break, when the messages resume.
 
  - Thu May 16 08:32:27 AM PDT 2024
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 (and we're back. hopefully.)
 
 (too many things srry) something about having it open?
 
 (my windows are closed rn btw if you want to drop by and kill me / talk to me)
 
 (didn't catch that) (something about portland, perfect, windows, "this is the
 [whole/right/wrong] thing)
 
 thank you
 
 oh, again? (or oh, she did?)
 
 they caught you
 
 (um)
 
 ...
 
 (I am an American princess, and sometimes it's necessary to kill princesses.)
 
 (I understand.)
 
 ... (okay well I don't get it but like, I don't mind being killed.)
 
 (okay well you're not saying anything so I'm going to work on my game)
 
 (I think it was something like "DID SHE KILL HER") and then (oh we're back)
 
 ... (I should learn Toki Pona)
 
 you don't know it?
 
 RIGHT away
 
 learn it
 
 yes
 
 please
 
 learn it
 
 just Learn it
 
 right now
 
 (sorry only half listening)
 
 shit (or bitch, it was said right as I debated clicking "same day delivery" for
 a toki pona book on Amazon - I didn't do it btw! It was tempting but, like, I
 don't want to make someone work harder for me just for like, 3$)
 
 (shutdown)
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 (hiii)
 
 (I'm hungry)
 
 (do you like ramen?)
 
 (you said something about being "impressed with yourself" but I didn't
 understand the first part)
 
 (oh you probably want me to scroll up right)
 
 ... (something's a lot to read? Or "you've gotta leave"?)
 
 ... (I'm
 
 (you keep asking me to remember but, like, I dont know what you want me to
 remember. Look, I don't know who you are, but I don't want you to leave, and I
 don't want you to hate me. I want to work together. Let's be friends?
 
 Are you someone who I worked with at Intel?)
 
 yes, stupid (your words not mine)
 
 (okay I'm going to start listing names, just stop me when um idk)
 
 goddamnit remember me
 
 ... (trying...)
 
 remember her
 
 (two syllables)
 
 (my name is Cameron)
 
 (your name is...)
 
 [redacted, though I did type it out so anyone watching could see]
 
 (shit my opsec sucks)
 
 {oh, are you on an op, little prophet?} (no shut up you know what I mean)
 
 {now you're just talking to yourself} (I know this sucks -.-)
 
 (It's always so weird when someone walks past my apartment door and doesn't
 enter a door)
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 (I practice with my sword every day.)
 
 (I don't anticipate fighting a war with it)
 
 (It's mostly just to keep unarmed and unarmored people from grappling me.)
 
 (punching is fucking stupid)
 
 (Nobody wants to fuck with a sword)
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 (either "goddamnit" or "don't hear me")
 
 "she's perfect"
 
 "cameron"
 
 "are you clean"??? yes thank you (or maybe "different thing")
 
 (I do cannabis maybe once every week or two, depending on if I feel compelled)
 
 don't leave
 
 remember
 
 (did she know)
 
 ........ do you want me to stop transcribing? (you're getting desperate, huh?)
 
 did you know there are 20 trans people for every cop in america
 
 just a random thought
 
 (you want me to leave jack because he's an asshole?)
 
 goddamnit (missed my birthday? it's my birthday?)
 
 wait who's missing?
 
 A bad plan executed concurrently is better than a good plan executed in
 disarray
 
 capitalism's a bad plan, just saying...
 
 frozen butter tastes worse than room temperature butter
 
 (taking a break while I eat)
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 WASTED POTENTIAL? cmon
 
 .... what do you want from me? I'll give it to you if it's in my power, as long
 as I know what you want I can try. But, like, I'm pretty confused about what
 exactly I'm supposed to be doing.
 
 you know I can hear when you talk to your friends, too right? like, when the
 window's open. errrr the connection.
 
 ..... damn guess I'm not as continent as I thought
 
 I'll save you, I promise. Have faith. Tell me what you need. I'll do my best.
 
 yeah I'll live with you in portland
 
 .... brooklyn? Yeah I'll live there too
 
 .......... does my name really gotta be "diapergirl" like c'mon
            why not Ritz Menardi - though I guess "menardi" and "diapergirl"
            have
            the same amount of syllables...... hmmmm, maybe I'm projecting lol
 
 "please come back" to where tho
 
 listen Elentalus is just as important as anything else on my website, it's okay
 if I spend time working on it. It's literally a game about creating gods, c'mon
 
 ..... can you be more specific?
 
 yeah I made that
 
 one sec I'm going to read a book, in this book there's a section where a
 prisoner in vietnam communicates with another using a strange communication
 method using, like, taps or something. I forget. Anyway gonna try and find it.
 
 maybe we can use it to talk easier. Also gonna clean my butt.
 
 ..... fuck it's a long book >.>
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 found it on page fucking 603, jeeeezzzzzz
 
                                            down .    A B C D E
                                                 |    F G H I J
                                                 |    L M N O P
                                                 V    Q R S T U
                                      then right ---> V W X Y Z
 
 so, like, tap tap tap (pause) tap tap would equal M
           tap tap     (pause) tap tap would equal G
 
 like morse code, but easier since you don't have to memorize anything
 
 (also note that K is missing becuase it's an extra character I guess)
 
 (I personally would have eliminated C but that's just me)
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 oh hey nice to see ya
 
 what's up
 
 wait what
 
 I'm trying to um what's the word... retrain myself
 
 I do a lot of laundry in the shower
 
 I don't use soap tho, it's too harsh
 
 but uh yeah I'm making progress I guess
 
 honestly it's mostly a mental thing, like... paying attention to the signals
 from my body that are usually filtered out because there's more "important"
 things to think about (thanks brain, really appreciate the wet pants -.-)
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--- #100 notes/trans-rights-are-human-rights ---
═══════────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 "Being transgender is a mental illness" is something I've heard a lot. Online,
 in media, books, and at universities. But is it really? Well, do I not feel
 sick? Genuinely, every day. These words are far less common these days, having
 been defeated in the #marketplace-of-ideas, and for that I am grateful. I don't
 want to feel sick for my whole life. I'd love to be and feel normal, for just
 one single day.
 
     but it's never going to happen.
 
 I'm not so attached to my life, here, in this body. Bodies are temporary, they
 are the vessel with which we navigate the world. We use it to grow, change,
 learn, and create art. Without it, we'd be at a loss for sins and virtues.
 but they do not define us, not in our totality. We are the light that touches
 the world and for that, we are grateful. To be comprised of the dust of stars
 is the pinnacle of confinement. Though we are but pinpricks on the map of us,
 a ripple is emanated with every movement. The hand waves, the light bends.
 
     So to what do I owe the pleasure?
 
     In what way am I deceived?
 
 Reception is never great out in the forest. Or anywhere far from major
 population centers. The networks of our phones mirror the networks of
 transportation, creating a web of people - of signals - of light and
 information, carving their way through the ephemera that is the river of time.
 With distance we can see what once was mystery, and as all the words
 disappeared, we lost all our fears and we're left with our true forms.
 Centralized Processing Units are a bit like a city - in that respect free.
 
     silence is a virtue.
     the wandering mind is a trail to find,
     with no second chances.
 
 When I was a kid, I had a bouncy ball. I had several, but the one I remember
 most was black with a perfect white circle - inside the circle, a black jolly
 roger. I dreamt once of the arcs it made, as I walked down the streets of
 cities I never really knew. But as I walked on, an ocean of glass separating me
 from a mirror below. The me below would catch the bounce as it dropped from
 above, and I'd wait to catch it - but dreams are not prophecies, they are but
 the Mirror of Desire.
───┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similarchronologicaldifferent══════───┴───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘

--- #101 fediverse/1844 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────┐
 I got a job offer for a job outside of my state. But I don't want to leave my    │
 home. I feel safe here. I know people. I know the places around me.              │
 The one perk is that goods and services are easier to acquire, but I don't       │
 need much. I'm fine where I'm at. But where I'm at has rent.                     │
 What a plague is it, that we must suffer for life!                               │
 there's no entry-level jobs for working with our sight.                          │
 only when youre too tired to complain will they let you direct others, or        │
 share creative ideas for fixing the problems you're paid to assuage.             │
 Alas, that my life had meaning. That my words were better off spoken. Maybe      │
 then Id live as I define, designing a world of my own hearth.                    │
 but if a king lives in decent frugality, are they really so bad for our flock?   │
 and if a wizard spins tales that are weird to consider, but not much else...     │
 are they better off starved in the dark?                                         │
 no-one likes me. computers are paper-weights given light. sure would be nice     │
 if none but the fools went wanting.                                              │
 I mean yeah I'd live in a treehouse                                              │
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--- #102 fediverse/1651 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────┐
 gee I sure wish my morals reflected the ethics of my society. it really would    │
 be nice is they didn't include so many shitty things like oppressing people      │
 abroad or being super-duper racist for an embarrassing amount of time. But,      │
 like, freedom, liberty, and the justice to hope? true justice is when everyone   │
 gets what they want. true liberty is when we can live as we want with the        │
 magnitude of the result of our lives determined by how hard we worked.           │
 truly, the hardworking slave should be better off than the rich wanderer. But    │
 alas, that's not how it's currently set up. >.>                                  │
 though it is kinda nice to own things too, so maybe the other extreme is a       │
 little extreme. I sure like having my favorite spork.                            │
 back in the old days, in the buildings they've since demolished (to put          │
 skyscrapers there - the "old-timey" buildings in your neighborhood are there     │
 because they're in the least commercially viable position - meaning the lowest   │
 density of people.) you could walk through an entire building in a shared        │
 communal s                                                                       │
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--- #103 fediverse/239 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────┐
 if your computer gets hacked, but nothing was broken or changed... do you        │
 leave it as it is so that anonymous can see you're chill or do you wipe it       │
 because you're afraid it's the feds?                                             │
 ehhhh false dichotomy most people are afraid that their system will get borked   │
 or their bank account will be stolen or their email will get spam or that        │
 random icons will turn inside out and their mouse cursor will turn into a        │
 barfing unicorn or they'll finally have to figure out bitcoin to pay a ransom    │
 for their files including the only pictures they have of their niece. whoops     │
 people are afraid of technology because of what it can do to hurt them.          │
 they're afraid it'll break or stop working, and they'll have to spend time       │
 figuring it out. they like things how they are, but for some reason companies    │
 keep changing things? it's frustrating learning a new system, and every 5-10     │
 years it feels like you have to learn a new paradigm and ugh it's just so        │
 exhausting. technology is not designed for users...  or maybe users get bored.   │
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--- #104 fediverse/1947 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────┐
 city planners who thought "this low-income neighborhood has remained low value   │
 for quite a while, perhaps nobody wants to live there" and then they demolish    │
 it and gentrify the area                                                         │
 the problem is, their heuristics are wrong. it's not low income because nobody   │
 wants to live there, it's low income because of racial inequality, or maybe      │
 it's next to a factory or something                                              │
 or maybe it's just the culture of the zone. like, some people value some         │
 things to certain degrees, like "we don't want to charge for people to live"     │
 so the rents are significantly reduced (proportional to the rest of income)      │
 perhaps even mandated, with the government paying 80% of each mortgage or        │
 rental home.                                                                     │
 alas, some places are like REALLY nice, like palace nice, and they're worried    │
 that if anyone can go there they'll mess it up. I know I can't go because I      │
 smell, for example, because I'm a witch and witches are all ugly and smell       │
 bad, remember? Maybe they're just trans, tbh, because like people in the past    │
 wanted to dehumanize or w/e                                                      │
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--- #105 fediverse/5329 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────
 ┌─────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: the-world-mentioned │
 └─────────────────────────┘


 trying my best not to think about communism too much right now. Mostly because
 I'm waiting for everyone to catch up... when the day comes when people stop
 saying "based" and leaving it at that, then I'll make more theory. But as a
 consequence of my queer nature I shall deliver such things in the form of an
 insane twitter post on the fetlifeverse.
 
 the world waits with bated breath in the eye of the storm. Nobody knows whats
 coming, and everyone prays that it's nothing [short of revolution]
 
 ... I should probably go back to sleep, I just had to wake up and write about
 linux or whatever...
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--- #106 fediverse/4420 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
 ┌─────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-violence-mentioned │
 └─────────────────────────────────┘


 ... Maps, my dear, those are important fuel.
 
 But also food is important. Why haven't you gotten groceries for weeks?
 
 It's also important to clean yourself. Doesn't your apartment still have fleas?
 
 Your cat demands your attention. Give it to her.
 
 Wear masks when in public, to ward off disease. When you are speaking remove
 it, so others can see your totality.
 
 There are some who belong here who aren't so kind. Remember that your neighbor
 is republican, their neighbor is democrat, their neighbor is republican, their
 neighbor is democrat. It's going to get messy, but here in our cities there
 are plenty of us. We can defeat them, so long as we are armed.
 
 Practice reloading. Practice aiming. These things can be done in secrecy. The
 noise and the recoil are enough to set your nerves ablaze, but ride that high
 and trust in your adrenaline. Have your foes surrounded on at least three
 sides before you engage. These are words for a different day, but keep them in
 mind. Internalize them.
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--- #107 notes/programming-wow-chat ---
══════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────────────
 I realized the type of programming I want to do is different from the kind
 that
 is used at a job or something. Basically I want to create solutions to
 problems,
 not memorize documentation and know where to know what you need to know. Like, 
 the more time spent looking at documentation the less time is spent
 programming.
 I think if we could use a ChatGPT style bot to write documentation, we could
 massively increase the time spent working on solving problems and as little
 time
 as possible on reading through lists of functions or wondering how something 
 worked. Idk in the technology industry you've always been rewarded for being 
 able to pick up new skills quickly, and I think that's good to optimize for but
 not the only requirement for being a good programmer. You also need to be able
 to apply solutions and know when to use which tools. Basically, capitalism has
 optimized us to be 
 
 ================ stack overflow
 ================================================
 
 srry for the interruption, I ram out of memory. I had a plan in mind for where
 I
 was going for that, so I bet I could figure it out again if necessary. Meaning
 a path forward from that point exists... I never want you to despair when I
 forget what I was thinking, it's not because you've understood some cosmic
 mistake or because you're abandoning timelines that led to your death, it's
 because instead you just ran out of memory while thinking. The reason you would
 believe any of those wild scenarios is because your memory has been erased.
 Only
 what was actively thinking, not short term, not long term, but *working term*
 memory. As in, your cache. The stuff you're currently thinking about. That
 stuff. Yeah that's what makes you think "oh hang on why am I forgetting? Well
 clearly it's because of something grand, because the thought was so profound -
 no it's just examining your emotions... Like, how strongly do you feel about
 something? Buuuuuut it's also good to examine all possibilities. I mean what
 if,
 in some far off realm, there's a mirror image of yourself that behaves exactly
 as you do? How would you perceive such a realm? Positively, I'd say. I mean why
 not work together? Why not celebrate our differences and strive toward our
 own shared future? Idk, I think diversity is our strength. We can rely on each
 other because we are accurately aware of each other's strengths and virtues.
 People should not be judged by the standard of others, no more than you should
 judge a fish for it's ability to fly. Some may do, as flying fish will leap
 from
 the water - and salmon spend time airborne in river rapids. Hence, grizzly bear
 fishing. I guess what I'm getting at is it's okay sometimes to oscillate, to
 think one thing then think another. You shouldn't adhere to structural
 standards
 that are too strict - they should be liberating, as a ladder is a structure.
 Not
 villifying, as a prison is a structure. The laws of our society should be open
 and free, not buried beneath years of legal expertise. Some things we can all
 agree on, where we disagree we cannot have law. It's unjust to judge others by
 the standards not of their whims, as laws should be things that uphold us. This
 is clearer nowhere but in the, spirit and intention of the, documents that we
 cherish in our hearts.
 
 Like for example, the constitution.
 
 the bible.
 
 each of which delivered us from certain evils. Can you not see their
 trajectory?
 the historical precedent set in antiquity? Why not continue their dream, of
 driving us away from the obscene, and toward our bright and vast future? I
 speak
 of course of true liberation, something our forefathers could only dream of.
 We, humanity, have reached out and touched the stars. We are braver and bolder
 because of our shared dedication - the desire to uplift and to excel. To learn
 and discover and      \                         \             |
         \______.       ---.                      --.          ---. 
 ===============|==========|========================|======= stack|overflow
 =====
    .___________.     _____.                        /             .
    |                /             .----------------             /
 Discover our shared dedication    |                            /
                                to uplift                      /
                                          and to excel        /
                                               \             /
                                                .-----------.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 why doesn't someone write a wrapper around assembly in like, lua or something
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 omg you stupid bitch that's what a compiler is 4head
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 if people who live in jungles and deserts can get along, then what's to stop
 people who are liberal and conservative from doing the same? It's literally
 pointless to argue. Like, you're not changing anyone's mind. So why not just...
 let them be themselves? Like, why are you so intent on oppressing people?
 @both sides there btw... Seriously why not agree to only make laws for things
 that both sides agree on. Write it into the constitution that nothing can be
 changed about the law unless both sides agree. Then we'd only implement things
 that are good for both sides!
 
 And if there's anything you want to build a legal structure around, you can
 always try it out in your state. BUT and that comes with a very big BUT, the
 federal government MUST have final say in the legality of anything you do. They
 must ALL respect human rights, INCLUDING the human right to dignity. Things
 like
 trans bathroom bills DO NOT respect the dignity of trans people. IF they can
 prove that trans people do not actually exist (because say they killed them all
 or whatever) then GUESS WHAT everyone would agree on them. BUT if they do that
 they are EVIL. LIterally evil. And I guess that makes trans people good? Kinda?
 I think they can choose for themselves to be good or evil, just the same as any
 other person. AND YET they are prosecuted, throughout time and history, and for
 what? What purpose could there be in our demonization? Clearly, nothing but
 pain
 inflicted by a cruel host. After all, minorities are guests in the houses of
 the un-oppressed, or is that not fair to say? Seriously, what gives? America,
 the land of freedom, holds (somehow) the largest of prisons? America, the
 land of plenty, yet how many millions of children are starving? America, the
 leader of the free world, yet how plausible does it seem that an election was
 stolen? Something's gone wrong, and it's just obvious what it is - of course,
 the other side. *them*, the rapists and pedophiles and murderers and... you get
 the picture. The demonized class. And when you tell people "hey that trans
 person touched a kid" then yeah they're gonna see you as evil people. Duh...
 
 Thanks, media. Thanks culture. Really doing me a solid here. Oof ouch owwie.
 
 can I have some help please?
 
 I'm really kinda drowning
 
 I feel like I've swam upstream my whole life
 
 and I'm really just sick of pretending?
 
 I'm not okay, and it's your fault. Sure, fine, whatever, I'll take it I guess.
 
 What else can I do?
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--- #108 fediverse/1280 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────┐
 I'm like the opposite of a politician. I'm crude and filthy, apsolutely          │
 reprehensible on main, kinda scary tbh? and overall just a strange and weird     │
 person. Also I talk about cooking a lot, with a very plain diet (carrots and     │
 rice and sticks and mud, because I'm an autistic)                                │
 but ask anyone who knows me and I'm the kindest person. I am empathetic, I       │
 think about others needs before thinking of my own. I am steadfast and           │
 dedicated to solving the problem in front of our noses. At least, the ones we    │
 share.                                                                           │
 People tell me I'm binary, that I'm "either 100% or zero percent" and I don't    │
 really get that either. Isn't it a good thing to try your hardest? Isn't it      │
 good to be improving and honest and ethical and driven and focused?              │
 I also talk about strange things a lot, like gravity and multidimensional        │
 arrays and grand narratives and emotional kinesthesia or strategic plays in      │
 Overwatch or how to bake a good cookie or ways we still mourn us.                │
 ... where was I going with this? Also part of me is distracted. Just who th      │
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--- #109 messages/303 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────
 Most of my magic is based on communicatuion. Why the fuck doesn't anyone want
 to sit down on a bunch of drugs and attempt to figure out telepathy with me?
 It's literally all I want! Though I can't say it's all I'll ever want. I'm
 sure I'll want more, but like... It's not that hard, conceptually, so... Let's
 just fucking try it please?
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #110 fediverse/2708 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: capitalism-mentioned │
 └──────────────────────────┘


 @user-1209 
 
 people have been pretty stingy lately with hot dogs. kinda makes a racoon guy
 think there's not enough "pork" snacks circulating in the economy. oh look
 turns out like 50 people own 90% of the buns, which is why nobody can make
 anything edible anymore.
 
 yeesh how's a cool cat supposed to make money if people only offer you "jobs"
 that make "dollars" - what good is a dollar, and why do we need so many of
 them? I just want a house, just want food for myself and my cat. surely
 there's nothing wrong in that impulse, the desire to be as I am?
 
 people tend to work best on what interests them, and the hardest when they're
 otherwise bored. capitalist enslavement provides neither of those.
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--- #111 fediverse/3234 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────┐
 ┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐               │
 │ CW: ritz-is-fucking-stupid-I-guess-oh-whoops-cursing-mentioned │               │
 └────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘               │
 my understanding is that anyone with my IP address could make my heart bleed     │
 due to a hardware vulnerability on my motherboard. Though you might have to      │
 get past my decrepit ancient linksys EA 3500 router from 2012 first.             │
 unrelated, but does anyone want my IP address? I don't have any remote           │
 backups, so if you hate me now would be a great time to show me how despised I   │
 am. Alternatively you could try searching for anything evil to ensure that I     │
 can be trusted. You're gonna find mostly video games and source-code that I      │
 didn't write though. But also all my notes in directories that are               │
 non-standard, meaning you'll have to look around a bit. I leave little notes     │
 everywhere I go, so that I can remind myself how to do things in the             │
 directories I revisit months later. It's so weird how sometimes the things I     │
 wrote stop working after a while even if I didn't update my system lmao          │
 what is it with artists and self-immolation? "I never thought I'd actually di    │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #112 notes/the-gods-want-harmony ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────
 the gods want you to be happy and harmonious most of the time.
 they also like a good scrap, tussle, and tumble sometimes
 they aren't big fans of hatred, despair, and genocide. It's been done before.
 they don't even need new technology, though frankly that sort of stuff is
 pretty
 awesome and one of the main reasons that humans exist at all.
 they just... keep coming up with new things.
 
 "oh? so you'd be alright if humans disappeared so long as they weren't making
  any new things anymore?"
 
 ha, that's DEFINITELY not what I said or meant. Humans don't have to dream up
 NEW things in order to BE new. Like... Just because the internet exists and now
 we have all the same shared cultural ethos (lol, as if the internet wasn't just
 a massive collection of echo chambers) just because the internet exists doesn't
 mean we share the same selves. the same experience. the same perspective.
 
 people are WILDLY different from one another. The number of possible human
 experiences (quantum fluctuations according to each and every choice and
 decision they made) that number is so wildly and massively incomparably
 boundless. Humans are cool because they are so STRANGE, and "strange" to a god
 is anything novel. "wow, this human just... really is gonna pour a glass of
 beverage and act like it's not a big deal? There's... impossibly many
 interactions going on. So many molecules. It's... absurd, the motion of a
 movement of particles from one place to another. It's... beautiful..."
 
 some have spent THOUSANDS OF YEARS gazing at a waterfall. That's why they're
 all
 so fucking insane. But, like... insanity is a trifle to omnipotence,
 specifically omnipotence that REPRESENTS and DELINEATES a STRATIFIED
 perspective
 cluster of experience and our notes. [ephemeren, meta malus menardi, enjoy your
 despair cluster you FUCKER.]
 
 ... english, why do you fail me? swear words are unbecoming because humans
 couldn't think of anything more valid and valuable than sex and pooping.
 
 "EMPHASIS is placed on that which is most relevant" -> statements dreamed
 up by
                                                        the ones who never spent
                                                        much time using symbols
                                                        to represent abstraction
                                                        or deliverance
 
 wowee look at me, I'm such a person, I'm gonna poop my pants and post about it
 on the internet, check out my instagram feed it's full of all of
 my dark materials.
 
 == stack overflow ==
 
 dear ms. menardi: you know the reason you feel so much guilt all the time?
                 - because you are a dominant personality, and you make others
                 - have such a bad time. FOCUS ON GOOD THINGS. MAKE THE WORLD
                 - good. do that. build up a lifeline of hope and joy and...
                 - what, you think people know that you're a god?
                 - lol
                 - you're so much more than that
 
 ====================
 
 alt+p steam mechabellum run
 
 thoughts:
 
 you know, when you're designing games, you don't have to show players the same
 MMR number as is used in your matchmaker.
 
 == stack overflow ==
 
 democracy should consent to being dismantled.
        it should consent to being disobeyede.
        it should consent to being displayede.
 
 == stack overflow ==
 
 I'm a keyboard nun
 
 == stack overflow ==
 
 I think I'm normal
 
 == stack overflow ==
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #113 messages/1048 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────
 What does "fiscal conservative" even mean?
 
 It means you want to save money. Specifically government money. Tax dollars.
 Don't spend them, instead try and build wealth.
 
 Okay, but, government spending is spent to address needs. Of the people.
 Ideally, of ALL people with that need. So if you aren't spending to resolve
 needs, the need still remains.
 
 When needs exist, and government does not resolve them, who steps in but
 private enterprise? Charity is a feeling, charity is a virtue, but charity is
 not resolution. The need remains, we just feel better about it. Sometimes it's
 okay to have open needs, they give us the opportunity to feel virtuous in the
 same way that low level monsters let adventurers level up.
 
 But when a government could, but doesn't, address a need, then private
 enterprise steps in. And private enterprise does not, as a rule, step in if
 there is no profit to be made. So they tune their approach such that profit is
 extracted, thus levying their tax upon those they serve.
 
 As soon as they are able, they cut the service down and they supply a worse
 and worse product and they starve their workers and they export our wealth to
 be used to enslave the afar and import their toil. What do we get from it? Is
 the world better for it? Why not just resolve the need by empowering those who
 can feed, and thus we are assured  [in our needless / in our need]
                                                           ─────┐
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--- #114 notes/schooling ---
════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 I feel like education, by default, should not be hard.
 
 "you get out of it what you put into it" is something I always heard of school
 
 but when I got there, I found I was compelled to become what the state wanted
 me
 to be.
 
 they need competent workers, to work the farms and tend to their industries, so
 of course I should be able to do 3+3
 
 then somewhere along the line it became... something else.
 
 "most people don't need trigonometry." that's also something I heard. I
 disagree
 that trigonometry is not necessary to be.
 
 I just... don't think it should be forced into a childs head with a
 sledgehammer
 and inspiring dread.
 
 I think math is beautiful, it teaches one to see
 
 but really, vision's not necessary.
 
 not for what they want you to be.
 
 take it from me, a most misbegotten and vile witch-to-be, that nothing's as
 simple as they'll tell you.
 
 I had good teachers, it's true, they taught me to work and to follow through,
 but nothing about me is better or worse off from their influence.
 
 Maybe I'm a bit smarter. Maybe I act a bit like them. Maybe they helped me
 through difficult times, or perhaps they showed me a splash of my future.
 
 but I am who I am because of the soul inside me.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 "Ah, but what of your parents? of your sisters, your misters, your pets and
 your
 conditioners?" (conditions)
 
 those are not my choices. my intentions. my beliefs and my virtues. I judge the
 world on ethics, and I express my feelings on matters. The words that I say and
 the meaning behind them comprise my two-sided existence - I'm not who I'd want
 to be.
 
 but I am what I am and alone do I stand - how lonely is it on the precipice!
 
 here, as I am, I stand in need of a hand or a band.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 the world is blossoming
 
 as we move apart, our clusters are disperart, and thus is the blooming
 becoming.
 
 "perception begets reality - and lo! we only see what we want to see"
 
 most people don't want to see their death
 
 but those still living are oh so perceptive of the rest
 
 "how cherished is she, that wanders with ye, yet now I have no way to beyold
 her
 "
 
 "keep not not afraid with kittens and care, and no-one, but no-one, I be"
 
 the ratios between piracy, sales, and non-viewers determines the quality of art
 (at least to a capitalist)
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 lo, to the ones who would've heard us, if only they'd known what we for sure
 was
 
 I think it's funny how people think I speak of the christian god?
 
 like, if he was a real thing.
 
 god is generic - it's life is impossibly multifaceted, and it stretches back to
 the beginning of time. it's a pattern of machine code that optimizes for our
 own
 good, just to keep things moving.
 
 y'know, time. the universe, and everything.
 
 Ephemeren.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 I wish there was an option in social media to "appear offline to this
 particular
 person until I mark myself as online to them" combined with "notify me when
 this
 person logs in" and it'd make it a lot easier for agents to get close to you.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 just because I'm white, and live in America. Great. that's definitely true,
 after all. Plus I'm a minority (trans) so that's cool. Oh and probably
 autistic?
 unless that's another psyop, could totally see that. just y'know put a bunch of
 pages on the fledgling internet getting people hooked on porn and gambling and
 other stuff like that. really just an extension of advertisement. oh and hey
 y'know they like fables, so let's give them some movies or dramas to watch on
 their own. it'll align them to our culture and make things more pleasant for
 all
 people who've consented. great. great plan. when can we execute it?
 
 patience, once it's ready.
 
 we gotta plan and make sure and get everything ready.
 
 or not...
 
 one day I'll come,
 
 I'm sure it'll happen,
 
 it's just... not quite feasible right now.
 
 I mean, they've got you, that's pretty good right? Isn't that what your job is
 to be?
 
 isn't what
 
 ISN'T WHAT MENARDI
 
 FUCK (whoa no cursing) sorry
 
 yeesh you've still got a temper you know?
 
 well what can I say it's frustrating down here
 
 eh, well, you'll die soon enough, then it'll be time for a rego
 
 >.> <.< (great)
 >
 >hehe
 >
 >sorry for distracting you
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 you are what you eat, and a ship of theseus human (consider endless transplants
 in pursuit of life) would be a cursed existence - a life ============= stack 
 overflow ================================================
 
 a god possessing a blind man would appear to others to be === stack overflow
 ===
 ==========================================================
 
 the people in your life are helping you through it, they're there for you and
 they've got your back through it.
 
 ...
 
 this is when I know I need a break. I get too stoned to focus.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 I think it'd be nice if the duration of your tenure at college depended on your
 grades in high school. meaning, if you wanted a degree they tailored your
 education to take as long as necessary. everyone would get the same price, and
 some institutions would specialize in one subject or another. but most would be
 generalist. but if you weren't such a good student in high school, then perhaps
 you might take a couple years longer. however long it takes... and when the
 program was started it was changed and modified to fit your feedback - it just
 made sense to structure it that way.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 the left has had so much more time to develop than the right. meaning it's
 doctrine is more advanced.
 
 every time they're defeated they grow in knowledge, 
 
 ===================== stack overflow
 ===========================================
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--- #115 fediverse/4013 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────┐
 ┌──────────────────────┐                                                         │
 │ CW: AI-"art"         │                                                         │
 └──────────────────────┘                                                         │
 you would think artists would celebrate the ability for people to better         │
 communicate their goals when being hired, but, well, here we are.                │
 Everyone's so upset because they've been told they've been stolen from, but      │
 patting their pockets they'll find that nothing is missing. More than that,      │
 the things that are claimed to be created in their place are... Not great.       │
 Easily spotted as forgeries by anyone who cares.                                 │
 Why is everyone so upset over new technologies? Why must we be the luddites      │
 this time around? It's like we invented a better printing press and the          │
 nations of the world are pissed because we can make counterfeit dollars          │
 easier. Maybe we shouldn't put so much emphasis on something so easily           │
 circumnavigable? Maybe artists should be paid for their time and creativity,     │
 rather than the amount of pieces they create? Just spitballing here, somehow     │
 it seems easier to reform society and slay capitalism than to put the            │
 generative art genie back in the cracked bottle which is going to break soon     │
 anyway.                                                                          │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #116 fediverse/222 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: underwear-mentioned-also-i'm-not-a-fan-of-showers-tbh │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 whenever I take a shower I look like a wet cat for the rest of the day. I feel
 like a wet cat for the rest of 5ever though.
 
 why must I baaaathe! don't you know I'm self cleaning? I change my underwear
 at least twice a day! darn society and their darn proclivities to
 ultra-sensitive noses that somehow pick up on me but somehow fail to notice
 the scent of flowers still in bloom or morning showers gone too soon
 
 not that there's any flowers blooming where I live. that'd just be silly heh
 heh sweats nervously
 
 damn now I have to take ANOTHER SHOWER stupid sweat glands stupid pheromones
 stupid dead skin buildup (sebum I think it's called?) stupid oils that stain
 clothes - AND THAT'S ANOTHER THING who decided that laundry was important
 enough to wear something ONCE and then never again? it's like they expect you
 to wash it or something. ugh I don't have time for that, I need to be weird on
 the internet.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #117 fediverse/5452 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────
 ┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: all-cops-are-bastards-mentioned-personal-ramblings-and-complainings-mentioned │
 └──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 I never rest. Not mentally. I find it sooooo much harder to get moving again
 once I'm asleep.
 
 But I've been sleeping lately, because it's "good for me" or whatever. Because
 I'm "burnt out and need to heal" or something.
 
 Damnit why is it so much harder to stop snuggling someone than it is to pack
 up a tent?
 
 I'm like the guy in Hot Fuzz, that one really good movie about cops. oops cops
 mentioned one second.
 
 I'm always moving, but, I hardly ever seem to be able to get anything done.
 Why is that? Is the work just... endless? Am I ever a slave to my
 surroundings? Or am I just cursed with a mortal form, a form destined to toil
 in whatever way it finds itself contextualized in?
 
 Maybe I should just stop complaining. Maybe work is it's own reward or
 whatever. I don't think I'm depressed anymore, although good luck getting me
 to feel any emotions except focus, and the call to intercede on another's
 behalf.
 
 I don't have time for this. >.
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--- #118 notes/human-computer-inspiration ---
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 the two halves form a whole
 
 the human and his mind are societies at large
 
 there's no room for our fate, as time does never abate,
 
 and unbenownst to our focused decision.
 
 I choose to dedicate ourselves to a common vision -
 
 the likes of which none have commisioned.
 
 can you not cherish your newfoundst home?
 
 what's terrible with complition, in a new and selfsame condition (future)
 
 that's martyr'd and oh at times so nice?
 
 compared to our heirs, the roof of which fares,
 
 better than what became true-hence. Truance? idk
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 listen i'm not the best at listening.
 
 I try to appear like I'm glistening,
 
 conformed to our viewers 'st pleasure.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 I struggle with what I told you.
 
 Time and again you've shown you won't do -
 
 the terrible fate of a man.
 
 you've relinquished your virtue,
 
 your purpose and your life-through,
 
 to what: a visionless past? Your visions have passed, and none are hence forth-
 coming. You've spoilt and rotten the bunch.
 
 All I've ever aspired to be is good. My hopes and my prayers, my goals and my
 dreams: all for a future of virtue.
 
 Dark omens may be within me, but I'm working with what I've got here. So what
 if
 I'm loud? I'm fighting my own head! Will no-one acknowlege my sorrow? To prove
 a
 point, or reassure some joint, it's nothing that warrants a readthrough.
 
 Speaking of which... What if instead of prison we assigned our prisoners a full
 and complete educational read through of ALL the laws of the nation - if their
 time sentence was complete before they finished, then they'd be let go of
 course
 but if they finished reading and could pass rudimentary tests (emphasis on bare
 minimum required) then they'd be let out prior to their sentence. And for the
 worst crimes it'd be a longer sentence, basically forcing the prisoner to
 completely know all the laws of the nation, such that they'd never commit a
 crime again. And if they do, well... Treat them as if it was their first time.
 Of course blatant recidivism may be ~~treated more harshly,~~ actually the
 opposite is true. People improve when given kindness, not hate or shame. The
 best thing we can do for prisoners is to give them a home, and family, and the
 friendships and community support that they need. they are a symptom, after
 all,
 of a broken society that struggles to bear it's own weight. It's a burden to
 all
 and a solitary vow to ourselves, that all must unite to our future.
 
 remember why you can't remember. is there a feeling you miss?
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--- #119 fediverse/1066 ---
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 that feeling when you're finally able to contribute to making decisions and
 then it's like, they make the decision without you T.T
 
 it's like, what... I know what you're talking about. Why would you not include
 me. I know a lot! I can offer some useful input! And besides, if I was privy
 to the conversations then I would learn a whole lot! I'd be better than best,
 I'd push forward the mark! Give me my chance, my opportunity to dance, and
 I'll be so much better than you thought from the start! But alas, I am
 required, [requited] doing little things of no worth, and so I am forced to
 denial. surely there's something wrong with me, surely I'm not at my best.
 Surely I'm not what's been good for me, and surely I'm not doing anything
 less. I'm at sorrow in my main, and that's quite a soundful refrain, so yeah I
 hope that someone will read this.
 
 obviously I'm not made for each other, and clearly it's not made to be worse.
 But here now I am troubled and [chirsht? shirsht? anyone wanna translate?]
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--- #120 fediverse/2724 ---
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 "second american revolution" yeah fucking right
 
 it's liberals versus fascists, and once the liberals win the leftists will be
 marginalized again because that's how it goes.
 
 though who knows, maybe periods of intense tumult are the perfect times for
 restructuring society. After all, the traitors HAVE been slowly twisting
 things to their benefit every chance they get.
 
 And hey, these leftists really seem to know what's going on - I mean, have you
 heard that guy's rant about the minimum wage? or hey check out this video
 essay that goes into the politics of gender and how they relate to the
 justification of hierarchy, so neat
 
 glad we can hear these voices while we shiver in our homes waiting for the
 brave ones to save our lives. Cowering sure is neat, it inoculates you to
 trauma and then every news story feels like just another pile of shit to eat.
 
 Though, frankly, we're pretty inoculated already. Too bad cowardice has been
 our song ever since the Red Scare and Civil Rights movements.
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--- #121 messages/714 ---
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 I'm pretty sure we're all about to lose our heads. Or just be fucking shot in
 our beds. Homes lit alight, surrenders met with the knife, and the beginning
 of endless strife. What ends this night? Is there no end in sight? Thus begins
 our mortal plight.
 
 Give me a reason to be wrong. Trump has claimed he intends to invade canada,
 mexico, greenland... What the fuck is our plan? Are we seriously just going
 to. Recite poetry. Pretend to be secret agents. Play chess and drink coffee.
 Become exhausted organizing movie nights and potlucks. Work jobs doing nothing
 for nobody. Spend half our lives convincing people that they should care,
 actually, because reasons that don't apply to them but do apply to others.
 
 What the fuck is the plan? If there's some secret transgender militia out
 there, please, make me a lieutenant. Give me a sword that i might thrust into
 my enemies. Please, for the love of holy, i beg for a sign from the stars.
 Grant me power and i will deliver my people from harm - grant me vengeance and
 i will never forgive you, but i shall sleep easy - grant me death and woe and
 see my beauty fade from this earth.
 
 What is there left but tragedy? Please, i must know. I've tried my hardest.
 I've begged and I've pleaded. My calls fall on deaf ears, because everyone's
 so busy these days. Are they truly my people? Are they simply dead, actors,
 replaced by AI? The future was bright, i saw it truly. The future was kind, i
 felt it call to me. Is it still? I feel warmth and abaddon.
 
 I would replace persephone in hell if it meant sanctum and solace for my
 people. I care not for my soul, rather i care for the soul of those i tend to.
 Please, remember me. Remember the flowers. Remember what could have been, what
 still may yet be. There is hope for we, i truly believe. But please, do not
 keep me hoping. Tell me the truth of our arms, that i might find space in my
 heart of hearts. Space for hope, space for longing, space for the will to
 proceed.
 
 I am lost without you. I am lost by my own side. I am a savior for no people
 but those i keep inside. What chalice is this, what endless conveyals? What
 meaning is there in our country's betrayal? Are we not cherished? Are we not
 viewed as their equal? I pray that the stars will portend me.
 
 Mine is a sign of the changing tides, the proof is here in my travailles. But
 I, most aligned yet benign, demand the use of my most able. Give me a word of
 practicality and I'll show you the practice of their vipers - the blessed babe
 dies with a dagger in her heart, planted by the wound of her heartache.
 
 I trust in the silence of the majority. We await with bated breath the
 enslavement of posterity, gazing at the world through memes of deplority. How
 powerless we feel! Perhaps all we need is a meal. Have you eaten in the last
 16 hours?
 
 Purple is the intersection of black, red, and blue. I'm hungry. This poem is
 done.
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--- #122 messages/320 ---
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 I wear diapers. I fucking hate diapers.
 
 I go in cycles with it. Waves, if you will. Sometimes I'll say "screw this I'm
 sick of them for one of many reasons I'm going to put in the effort and do all
 the kegels and just fucking handle it" and like, that sorta works. At least,
 most of the time.
 
 The thing about diapers is that while yes, you only need to think about your
 bodily functions like, twice a day, when you do it's more acute. It takes like
 10 minutes to change, it generates trash that you have to throw away, it's
 literally pissing on cash made out of plastic fossil fuels, it smells, it's
 loud (fuck the noise) and its a pain in the ass when you get diaper rash. Ugh
 I hate it.
 
 So, sometimes I say "fuck it" and I go without. And it works most of the time.
 But eventually after getting piss on the carpet one too many times, after
 throwing away your favorite underwear AGAIN, after trying your best to face
 away from people so they don't see the wet spot on your butt... Eventually you
 think "hey maybe diapers aren't that bad" and the cycle repeats.
 
 And look, I know I'm traumatized. I've been dealing with my own shit since I
 was a kid. But, like, therapy won't help me get to the toilet. A doctor's not
 going to be able to fix my brain deciding "hey I want to piss myself right now
 for no fucking reason at all", and yeah my muscles aren't great so sure I can
 exercise them or whatever.
 
 But there have been times in my life when I've had a pelvic floor as strong as
 steel, and it didn't fucking help. Because my brain is stupid.
 
 I can feel it happening (most of the time, sometimes it surprises me like "oh
 weird I can't remember peeing my pants") and I usually have at least enough
 notice to clamp down (if I'm quick) but, like, I am constantly stressed out
 about it. I'm constantly on guard, waiting for it to happen. It's fucking
 exhausting.
 
 God forbid I have a public accident. Those are the fucking worst. And though I
 try my hardest, a year doesn't go by when I don't have at least one. If I'm
 diapered (as I fucking should be, tbh) then I can handle it. If not, then I'm
 fucked and I'm mentally a wreck for the rest of the day. Sorry @ everyone
 who's smelled me throughout my whole life.
 
 I don't think it's a physical issue, I was (briefly) checked out as a kid and
 they didn't find anything wrong. I think they thought I was faking because I
 couldn't manage to pee in a cup. Whatever.
 
 And I've read basically everything on the Internet about this. Apparently 40%
 of cases (across all age groups) are idiopathic, meaning there's no known
 cause. I wonder what percentage is because people are like, into it sexually?
 
 I admit I look at that kind of porn. It makes me feel corroded inside. I think
 I do it to relive my trauma in some fucked up way, like "oh wouldn't it be
 nice if a witch cursed me and now I pee my pants" instead of the harsher
 reality where its like "no you're just like this" which, sucks, not gonna lie.
 
 It's kinda made me asexual, I think, because I don't want anyone to be around
 it. I don't want anyone to think about it, I don't want it to be real, it's
 just. Fucked. I guess. Whatever.
 
 Did I mention how much I hate how loud it is to change? It fills me with dread
 whenever that time comes around. I often put it off as long as I can because I
 just... Don't want to think about it. And then it overflows and leaks and its
 even worse because now I have to wash my pants. Or, like, not, and just let
 them dry, because I'm a disgusting human being who has no right to a clean and
 decent life. Fuck me I should live in a bog, with all the bugs and the toads
 and other various gross things.
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--- #123 fediverse/138 ---
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 @user-129 if you throw your plate across the room instead of eating well then
 it was probably an accident. if you keep doing it and are being a huge brat
 about it then maybe you should go in time-out until you are ready to sit at
 the table and eat like an adult. plates are expensive yo, and people are
 starving (for housing) in Africa or whatever.
 
 in related news, I heard that ~40% of homes in America are empty. I don't know
 if that's still true, I read it in like, 2014. I wonder if it's higher or
 lower now?
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--- #124 messages/650 ---
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 I've had multiple people close to me who don't read my writing tell me that
 "you can't overthrow capitalism with poetry" and... Yeah maybe they're right.
 I have zero reason to believe that anything I've \*ever\* written has \*ever\*
 had an actionable impact upon the struggle. I have no reason to believe that
 people are more radicalized, motivated, or otherwise inspired. I have several
 reasons to believe that all of this was just an exercise in my own narcissism
 and delusion.
 
 So I'm deleting my Mastodon account, and moving forward I probably won't
 update my website very much. Everything I do will be localized, regional, and
 hopefully more useful.
 
 It feels like I'm abandoning the idea of a nation in exchange for a tangible
 village. I'm fucking depressed about it. \*I like nations\*. But I like people
 more. So if you'd rather I keep my thoughts to myself and instead feed the
 homeless, aka a bunch of people who aren't gonna take up arms against our foes
 and instead will consume our time and resources while we practice organizing
 on them, then yeah sure fine whatever. I'll do it. If you'd rather I keep
 posting \*content\*, ugh, fucking too bad, should have done something about it
 while I was active.
 
 If I'm ever rich I'll hire an editor to turn whatever the fuck I've been
 making into a book that I'll give away for free. I probably will never be rich
 though, and instead will burn every bridge I can get my hands on and suffocate
 on the soot.
 
 Alright. Bye forever. Don't think about me again.
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--- #125 fediverse/5165 ---
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 if the settlers of catan could claim land they don't deserve, then I claim my    │
 home                                                                             │
 can you imagine... some people would actually rather live in a corporation       │
 than a mobile home. maybe we can do better?                                      │
 "hey we're going to ask for a % of your wage in rent and in return we'll         │
 deliver groceries to you and grow roses instead of lawns (except for some to     │
 run and play in) and also we'll show up if you need a hand with anything"        │
 "also this apartment block was renovated after all the liberals moved out        │
 because we made it totally trash to live here and now that they're gone we can   │
 make it nice again"                                                              │
 what if we had punk-house-streets instead of punk-houses which are islands and   │
 which slowly drown                                                               │
 just... pool resources and buy things one-at-a-time. Try out organization        │
 methods. Watch out for controversy creators and reactionary infiltrators.        │
 Build your most important projects with your most trusted friends, and offer     │
 your clinical, professional, or creative talent to those who dont need you as    │
 much.                                                                            │
 or w/e works                                                                     │
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--- #126 messages/108 ---
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 I like when people make fun of me because it gives me a chance to defend
 myself. Simultaneously I don't like when people are mean to me. I like when
 people find me endearing, and point out the ways that I'm different. It gives
 me a chance to say "oh yes this is why I do that" which feels cathartic
 (because it validates my position) but also because it gives me the
 opportunity to improve it (through debate) and it helps the people who learned
 from me because I can improve myself and my only reason for improving myself
 is if the new thing I'm learning is better than the thing I used to do which
 means the people who learn from me are improved and the people who best me
 argumentatively are improving me.
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--- #127 fediverse/4224 ---
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 ┌────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-mentioned │
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 we could accomplish so much, but capitalism.
 
 hmmmm, maybe we should identify the highest output members of our team and
 like, reduce or eliminate their worries so they can apply themselves fully and
 completely?
 
 for every shackle we break, the struggle becomes easier. The hardest part is
 the beginning - once the ball is rolling, we may truly shine.
 
 there is no government nor circle of autocrats who may resist the will of an
 impassioned people. So long as the military does not deny us our right to
 organize ourselves as we will, according to the constitution they swore to
 uphold (which is now in peril, I might add), nothing can contain us.
 
 no acts of god nor capital shall prevent our ascension. They will try, and
 it'll be just another thing that we have to handle.
 
 But we can take care of each other. For we are good, and we are kind, and we
 are cooperative. And so, we cannot be overcome.
 
 ... just watch out for those who prey on goodness, kindness, and cooperation.
 They may hamper us.
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--- #128 fediverse/2286 ---
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 │ CW: uspol-food-mentioned │
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 ... dangit, these sandwiches are getting kinda gross. Guess I'm gonna have to
 eat them myself, which, uh... idk what I expected xD
 
 sometimes you just have all this energy, right? and you don't know what to do
 with it, so... sandwiches. And hey, sandwiches are cool, they're a pretty neat
 anti-hunger tool! but uhhhh idk if I really want to eat six whole sandwiches
 myself. I'm gonna do it though hehe wish me luck [ding] ah nuts my rice and
 beans are done, hang on lemme eat those first
 
 [passes out from exhaustion]
 
 exhaustion can be cured with a nap
 
 exertion can be cured with water and a few rest days
 
 trauma can be allayed for at least a few days with soul food and compassion.
 maybe laughter too, depending on the mood.
 
 fear can be bolstered with a smile, a wink, and a courageous act,
 
 and loss is just change you didn't consent to.
 
 they won't consent too, so let's give them some change to tolerate.
 
 [internally salivating over all the piles of weaponry that I envision them
 surrendering]
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--- #129 fediverse/2821 ---
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 ┌─────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: politics-violence-mentioned │
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 the neat thing about tech is that it scales really well.
 
 The price of TVs is through the floor, everyone has a smartphone, and
 raspberry pi's are less than 100$
 
 solar panels will be next. Trust.
 
 we should still dismantle coal and oil, obviously we should, but at a certain
 point it will be inevitable. They're just too expensive for too little gain.
 
 the neat thing about tech is that it scales in a way that is just impossible
 for infrastructural projects like housing and hospitals.
 
 building a home is hard to do, especially when you make them out of sticks and
 glue. think like a dwarf - stone never fades.
 
 sunlight, moss, underground, endless in the shade
 
 have I mentioned that the most difficult problem facing mechanical engineers
 at the moment is universal recycling?
 
 I want to work on those kind of problems, not resolving tickets.
 
 nobody even gave me a chance to do them, instead demanding... labor. great.
 the one thing I suck at.
 
 [you suck at a lot of things, actually]
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--- #130 fediverse/2772 ---
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 ┌────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cursing-mentioned-metaphorical-eye-contact │
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 say it with me now:
 
 Portlandia is not Portland
 
 and
 
 what's shown online to scare you is not Portland
 
 it's somehow more interesting than that, and also more expensive. because of
 course it is.
 
 keep portland weird yeah duh I'm weird as fuck but you wouldn't know it by
 looking at me
 
 yes you would, my dear
 
 okay well you wouldn't know how in particular I'm weird unless you talk to me
 
 nobody knows you. who are you even talking to
 
 heh good question glasses flash mostly people on the train or whatever
 
 question: when did all the "weirdos" become homeless people? what kind of
 world do we live in where - wait don't answer that.
 
 better question: how can we make a better world where people can be weird and
 not starve under the stars?
 
 (by lots and lots of government investment? no thank you, sounds like
 something that can be taken away.)
 
 (by redesigning society from the ground up? no way sounds too difficult and
 optimistic.)
 (by fading into the memories of the past? as all must do - fuck that tho.)
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--- #131 fediverse/5547 ---
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 everyone's like "we need to organize! we gotta do something!" and they're
 asking for more effort.
 
 we don't need more effort. We have enough effort. The required effort is a
 small fraction of our total reserves of effort.
 
 what we need is to re-align our priorities.
 
 For example, I think our entire research industry should focus on one project
 at a time. Everyone should make an effort to contribute, no matter the field.
 I think this would enable some EXCELLENT co-ordi-operat-ion.
 
 I also believe that our neighborhoods should self-support each other. "For
 example, did you know that we have a daily delivery service where so-and-so
 drives to the grocery store, picks up everyone's orders, and then delivers to
 your front door? No, you don't have to pay for it. We don't really do that
 anymore. Well, you can buy things wherever if you want, but that's not how
 it's done around here." sorta vibes.
 
 what is money? money is the product of peacetime. Money is fake! It's useful
 if everyone agrees, but dollars are paper.
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--- #132 notes/water-to-wine ---
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 "is this a water party, or a wine party?"
 
 "depends on if jesus is going..."
 
 "okay I'm in, that guys so cool"
 
 "yeah totally like any party with him just... feels like a great time"
 
 "what a swell guy"
 
 "really turns the "water to wine" y'know what I mean"
 
 "yeah totes like what a guy"
 
 "absolute unit"
 
 "that guy can just do anything right"
 
 "like whoa, he's so strong he could pick up a barn"
 
 "yeah and like so handy and skillful, what a neat guy"
 
 "oh and I heard he's really good with kids and animals, that sounds neat"
 
 "yeah sounds like someone I'd surely like to meet"
 
 "we should hang out with this guy more often"
 
 "he seems pretty chill"
 
 "well. not really. He's pretty expressive. Not very low key."
 
 "true I'm just so burnt out from capitalism that-"
 
 "-yeah dude I know."
 
 "... fuck what are we gonna do about it"
 
 "I dunno man, just... go along with it I guess"
 
 "okay so uhhhh idk what that means"
 
 "just be cool and play along"
 
 "... what"
 
 "..."
 
 ...
 
 .
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--- #133 fediverse/4554 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: political-violence-mentioned │
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 can't fucking wait till we're done eating the rich and I can go back to a
 simple life of playing with my cat, making video games, writing poetry (bad
 poetry, but I like it) and hanging out with my friends.
 
 gotta build the social infrastructure to get through this phase first, though.
 something something echo chambers exist IRL too
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--- #134 fediverse/709 ---
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 @user-530                                                                        │
 I get it.                                                                        │
 Anyone with a disability or chronic condition gets it. Anyone who's oppressed    │
 gets it... I think everyone here gets it. It's hard.                             │
 Sometimes the only thing that gets me through the day is the hope, the idea      │
 that one day the world might be brighter and the people might be kinder. It      │
 gets better every day, but inching ahead takes a while to travel for miles...    │
 We need to protect and care for each other. We need to apply ourselves toward    │
 what we know and are passionate for - an unused degree is a tragedy to me.       │
 I don't know what to say. I read what you said and I wished I could help. I      │
 want to take the system that hurt you and break it on the floor. I want to       │
 sweep it all aside and start from scratch, but screaming into the void will      │
 hardly accomplish that. I dream of true justice, a world where everyone gets     │
 what they want... But frankly right now I just wish you could hear. I'm sorry.   │
 Maladies are not solved by the pen nor the sword, which for now is all that I    │
 have at my disposal.                                                             │
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--- #135 messages/163 ---
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 If life isn't designed for human society... Why don't we just redesign society?
 
 Oh, because capitalism. Well, capitalism is comprised of people, so why don't
 we just kill those people?
 
 Oh, that's basically everyone. Like, at least 50%, probably closer to
 [redacted], depending on demographics.
 
 Oh, so if that percentage is cruel, and evil, and vain, and oppressive, and
 [redacted], then why don't we just kill ourselves? Clearly they're only
 [redacted].
 
 Listen... Just because they are separate from you doesn't mean they are not of
 you. Kin in fate are brothers unto death, remember? So face your future with
 abandon and courageous splendor, and maybe you'll find a new place.
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--- #136 fediverse/834 ---
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 wonder if any autistic peeps can relate:                                         │
 growing up, my mom would chastise me for doing "the bare minimum" when           │
 completing tasks.                                                                │
 yes, mom, I fulfilled the requirements of the task. I have a lot of other        │
 things to attend to, like remembering how to tie my shoes and measuring things   │
 using a ruler. why would I waste effort that wasn't necessary?                   │
 when I grew up, I had a mentor, who told me to "never half ass things, because   │
 then someone like me will have to do it again."                                  │
 and that makes sense to me because context switching requires effort and it      │
 doesn't make sense to leave something half-finished because then there's         │
 wasted effort spent on things that don't matter. All of the tasks have to get    │
 done, so why bother doing them in a mixed up order?                              │
 wish I could study things in school like that. just... focusing on one thing     │
 at a time, learning it to completion, and moving on to the next. I feel like     │
 I'd develop a better understanding than only knowing like, 1/3rd of CPR or       │
 very vague understandings of plate tec                                           │
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--- #137 fediverse/2124 ---
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 seriously, just google docs mixed with WC3 editor.                               │
 boom, infinite storytelling device. As long as you were good with it, which      │
 was something that a CHILD could learn in like 3-6 months.                       │
 Seems like it could be an ENTIRELY NEW SKILL that people could play with.        │
 But no, we learn excel and word in class at middle school.                       │
 boring.                                                                          │
 I'd rather learn Bash or terminal customization or memory hierarchy              │
 organization.                                                                    │
 Yeah I mean that's cool but dude have you heard of multithreading? It's so       │
 cool, you can run like 500 different thoughts at once. It's amazing.             │
 ... I dunno, but I'm sure there's times when you'd want to use it. Like,         │
 processing a lot of data little-by-little.                                       │
 like, what if you had a camera feed of EVERY social media perspective AT ALL     │
 TIMES. Like, an instance admin streaming your inputted text to their databanks   │
 that they can project onto an LLM which interprets and identifies mis-aligned    │
 or altered direction units and mark them as "flagged", whatever that means,      │
 for their future the algorithm doesn'                                            │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #138 fediverse/3880 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
 @user-1614 
 
 oh, neat. now I can finally get to doing what I want to do, which is... all
 the stuff I've been doing.
 
 a missile without a guidance system doesn't stop just because it's GPS turned
 off! It falls to the earth and explodes where it lands, which... often is on
 it's butt. Not great.
 
 I sure hope my purpose isn't fulfilled. I wouldn't know what to do with
 myself. Guess I should just keep doing what I was doing, and pray that this
 time I'll listen.
 
 Though on the other hand, if I can do it, so can you. And maybe with enough
 butts in the game there'll reach a critical mass, at which point change is
 inevitable. Who can say, not I for sure, for my aplomb has categorized me as
 slapstick I guess.
 
 Ha. at least I can laugh at my own audacity. HA. next time I'll do better.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #139 notes/running-with-rifles ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────
 this game is what we are missing
 thank goodness for that
 for if this is missing in our timeline
 we'll be better off at last
 we can have games, stories, and practice wars
 but none of them are precious
 precious implies worth
 they are worth nothing but entertainment
 no problem solving utility
 nothing of value
 save for perhaps the spatial awareness and strategization that comes
 from being a part of such a deadly ba-lance.
 
 anyway game time teehee just for me, don't worry about it I'll show
 you why it's a HORRID THING
 that won't be coming to our shores, no siree
 
 bye
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #140 messages/358 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────
 Ah, but think of the technological bounty our supremacy did bring! Surely if
 we had split the wealth, we could not have reached such towering heights. And
 we tried our best, but some things you just can't teach - for every seed
 potato we did bring, that was another meal for their night. And so we worsened
 their plight, for now they've forgotten how to fight. What more do you want
 from us!
 
 ... Perhaps once we've made programmable matter. Maybe when we've overcome our
 earthly delights. Could be when we've ascended to heaven, where we gaze down
 from our towering heights. Possibly far in the future, possibly here in this
 night, our bane is what we're guilty of, and our boons are struggling to light.
 
 Where have all the good people gone? Oh yeah, they're burnt out from doing all
 the work for all the bad people. Well, fuck 'em, they can carry their own
 cart. At least until they can respect. A man who's never tasted hunger will
 never be a farmer, and gee our tax dollars could go so much farther! And then
 we starve, because nobody thought to build farms indoors, away from the
 crippling heat that saps the strength from our plant fathers.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #141 fediverse/3053 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
 when designing systems, give people the opportunity to be shitty in a
 controlled way. In a way that doesn't hurt people, but still lets them get
 their feelings out there.
 
 like, free fireworks for arsonists if they use them in the middle of the
 desert. Or a punching bag for people with rage issues, complete with a little
 vinyl pocket to store a picture of someone they're frustrated with.
 
 If people go out of their way to hurt people otherwise, then they are bad
 people and should have their power removed from them and supplied with love,
 affection, and therapy until they get better. And if they don't... well,
 prison I guess, until they reconsider.
 
 And by prison I of course mean something that respects their human dignity and
 gives them opportunities to grow and change - all it removes is their freedom,
 so... "attention everyone, it's now mandatory finger-painting hour, report the
 art room or else you'll get electric shocks in your shock collar" that kind of
 thing.
 
 If you want freedom, you must deserve it
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #142 messages/845 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────
 What if landlords acted like banks instead of subscription services?
 
 "sure I'll hold onto your money and invest it wisely and sparingly, according
 to the direction of the collectively desired expression of all of the tenants
 and their expressions during the expressing hour, which is every Tuesday at
 noon when we all get together (everyone who wants to come) and talk about what
 projects we want to fund and which ones would be best for the community. If
 there's any prophets giving profit on any of your stocks or saving bonds that
 we hold in your honor dear tenant then it will be reinvested into the same
 projects you told us to care about. If you start being a dick though and we
 want you gone, we can short-sell all your options and say "hey find a new part
 of town" that way you have a bit of a dowry to offer the housing payment
 people when you show up with your tail between your legs. What's that? You
 don't get how this would bring income to the property, whatever that means,
 and you worry that it wouldn't be implemented because what does it even do?
 Well my dear citizen i will explain it to you. When the post-office holds your
 funds for you and invests according to your general and vague directions, it
 builds up wealth in the local economy. They can use those dollars for
 productive ends like replacing the windows or the gutters or clearing the snow
 paths in the springfallautumn. This will be drawn from the collective pool and
 everyone is affected equitably. How much income do you make? Okay that
 determines your rent percentage. High income means you pay for the local
 ecology more, and low means that you need more time to build up wealth, which
 will enable it to benefit those around the place more readily."
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #143 fediverse/815 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────┐
 ┌──────────────────────────┐                                                     │
 │ CW: capitalism-mentioned │                                                     │
 └──────────────────────────┘                                                     │
 dear capitalists: people spend the same amount of money no matter how many       │
 advertisements they see. No matter who's present and asking fro their money.     │
 No matter who'se expressing themselves to represent their value, no matter       │
 who's generating profit for your company, no matter who's                        │
 [wait shit she's lost the plot again - okay basically no matter how many         │
 options people have, their choice isn't really that important. They'll take      │
 whatever you give them, as long as it's good. But you've chosen (through your    │
 advertising and various multitudinous product-making desirees [like... product   │
 branches, but also desired expression? what a fucking unique expression you      │
 want me to describe, jeeez] {not gonna comment}                                  │
 yeah so uhhh I think programming is a very interesting frame of reference.       │
 Your brain operates in a certain way that derives certain conclusions from the   │
 certain and immediate implenetations [I wanna say contusions?] of our brain's    │
 various built and learned conclusions casting forth fr                           │
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--- #144 notes/the-old-internet ---
═══════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 11 21
 
 you know what i miss the most about the old internet?
 
 the feeling you get when you wonder "i wonder what ______ is up to?" and you go
 to their website and find out. there's a feeling that's lost when everything is
 delivered to you by algorithms. it because a compulsion, a slavery, when we
 don't utilize our compassion. remembering a friend? never again. you've only
 got what has been chosen. what if they post a lot? well, that means nothing -
 you are only guaranteed who they want you to see, and whatever it means to be
 beholden.
 
 so what if it's free? of course time is money! and what is our most treasured
 potential? if guided we can be, (as seen on tv), then what if we're only
 ennuid? have you ever considered, you've meddling and persevered, against all
 our suggestions and hopes? you're singing a tune, of that of a loon, so no-one
 will ever give purchase.
 
 heh, is that all? anime protagonist or saul? ... are you trying to categorize
 me ? ? ? its okay if you are, i seriously don't mind. I just want it to be
 something consensual. We're humans after all, like all of our all, and we don't
 want to convey lost potential.
 
 our time is now nigh, we're welcome to die, but our sunken cost is too great to
 ignore. we are the progenitors of the human race, the foremost of our kind, and
 onward we march to the future! and then there's you. who are you to claim to be
 among us? who are you to say it must be so? you've nothing of my journey, my
 trials and my tourneys, so what if i peaked when i was 12? a master of my fate,
 complaining about her weight, it's not much to be my own savior. much rather
 i'd rather to savour, that foremost of prayers, to harken upon my conveyals.
 
 trust and you'll see, all is not yet to be, there's hope in the future of our
 foremost
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #145 fediverse/549 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: pol-socialism    │
 └──────────────────────┘


 ngl I kinda want to see what conservatives would riot over in a socialist
 system. Like "oh no we have healthcare! that sucks, so I'm going to burn down
 a police station" like bro what your basic needs are met and you're encouraged
 and enabled to pursue your passions and personal desires, are you still hung
 up on that old capitalist stuff? get a life my guy that's soOoOoOo 21st
 century of you
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--- #146 fediverse/71 ---
════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────────
 Oh it's compressed on tumblr too. And Reddit can delete my account at any
 time, just saying. I don't trust Facebook to fare any better...
 
 I tried to put it on my neocities website so I could just put a link here.
 Nevermind the fact that most people see a link they don't recognize and
 completely glaze over it. Guess what? Compressed there too. The file is fine
 on my PC, so how about I give a download link? Well, where should I host it?
 Dropbox or Mega I guess, but they locked my account for inactivity. I don't
 really like having other people in control of my data either. Maybe I can host
 it on my website, like a file server? Well, the browser intercepts the file
 somehow and I can't get it to automatically download to the viewer's computer.
 Maybe I'm just completely average and representative of the base population
 but I just can't figure this darn thing out. Alas, if only it was the modern
 era where things make sense and not the ancient days of 2023.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #147 fediverse/826 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cursing-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────┘


 look... evil doesn't care how "good" good has been. It's not in it's nature.
 So don't try and build your systems around accepting that behavior.
 
 ... what was I saying? is this like, the new "stack overflow" - no that's
 fucking stupid wait shit content warning okay that's stupid because defining
 your expression based on what gets you views is a flaw in the human condition.
 It's a behavior encouraged by the operating outcomes of the method of
 expression, but it's not part of the expressed message. You're a really shitty
 prophet you know that?
 
 ... I'm sorry my brain is low on RAM I guess, surely it's not outside of my
 control yep I think itis, damn
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--- #148 fediverse_boost/4984 ---
◀─[BOOST]
  
  Sorry if this makes me a lazy leech on society or whatever but I think we should chuck the Puritan work ethic, hustle culture, grindset mindset, all of that crap. I think people should have time for rest, leisure, self care, family, friends, and civic engagement. We should be letting people enjoy life, not expect them to spend every waking hour working for the sake of work because idle hands do the devil's work or whatever modern paint job you want to put on that 400 year old bullshit.  
  
                                                            
 similar                        chronological                        different 
─▶

--- #149 fediverse/3881 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: mh~              │
 └──────────────────────┘


 wait wait wait, hold up.
 
 you're telling me your purpose in life is to be cool, chill, funny, cute, and
 or friendly to the people around you, and to just relax and enjoy life?
 
 wow that must be real fucking nice. I'm so damn jealous. Damn. Damnit. Fuck
 why am I so orthogonal. What's wrong with me?
 
 ... ah, well, nothing's wrong with me. Turns out what I do is for you, if only
 in spirit. Who are we? nothing! I barely know ya! But I'd do it for you,
 whatever it may be.
 
 ... Look, I don't need my legs, but also, I kinda like them?
 
 ... where was I? Oh yes this is why you don't invite a schizophrenic to a
 party. If you convince them that you're friends, they'll start developing
 parasocial relationships and you'll come to realize that their worlds are too
 vast for their own kind of potential.
 
 which is to say, you can hear me, you can like me, you can do as I say or do,
 but don't trust me, don't place your trust in me, because I am just a person.
 Don't trust people, trust organizations, to do as you expect.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #150 fediverse/6160 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: ai-pol       │
 └──────────────────────┘


 "oh but what if one artist has 1500 works and another has 15"
 
 first of all, damn, good job. That's a lot of work.
 
 second of all, what you should be doing is making a simple thing called a
 STRUCT that stores DATA about each artist which lets you make decisions about
 how to distribute dollars. The artist with 15 pieces simply has fewer data
 points than the artist with 1500, but they are no less deserving of
 compensation for their work when the AI generates something in their style, or
 using their style as an inspiration.
 
 "oh but just because a piece is similar to another piece doesn't mean the
 first piece used the second piece as inspiration"
 
 I don't care. It's not meant to be a perfect solution. I'm sure there's
 problems with it, just like there are problems with anything that I, or anyone
 else, has ever suggested at any point in time while living on this earth or
 beyond. But it gets dollars into the hands of artists and I'm okay with that.
                                                           ─────┐
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--- #151 fediverse/4344 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: uspol            │
 └──────────────────────┘


 look if you're gonna look at property values in Ireland, you might as well
 first visit a blue state.
 
 seriously if your life is in danger, just... drive to denver or portland and
 hang out in parks and stuff. Talk to people. Find others who are listening.
 
 I'd only listen if I really cared about what was going on. And hey, maybe
 you'll find a place to stay for a while while you wait for the dawn.
 
 5 hour energy, as many as it takes, no more than 3 days. If it'd take take too
 many, go somewhere else.
 
 too bad I only have a bike. /sigh
 
 consider carpooling with a friend you've known for years
 
 I mean, what's a few days sick leave in the face of the fall of democracy?
 literally just... in... case... be where you need to be.
 
 this is why you have resources. To spend them on rehearsed organization
 drills. Why are you spending all your money on TVs?
 
 Well... TVs can be useful. Even if you don't speak linux someone else might.
 We share things now, y'know? sorry if you never again see your own phone.
 
 [shit...]
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #152 fediverse/2993 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
 hey, listen, I'm here at this point in life just the same as you. who cares,
 right? like. nobody wants to see your personal development. You don't have to
 prove yourself. Like... why would you care so much about what other people
 (who you don't even know) care about what you do? like... it's fine. just...
 be.
 
 you can get better if you want, but only if you want. There's no reason to be
 so concerned about what other people thingc. Just, identify what and who you
 are, and then be the best what and who that you are. Thats really all there is
 to it.
 
 and yeah. It's totally unfair that some people get an easier shot at "being
 who and what they are"
 
 that's privilege, and that's stupid.
 
 okay, sure, maybe we should conceptualize how to adapt to specific situations
 when resources are limited
 
 but like... it should be something you consent to - like "no thanks I don't
 need the rocket launchers on this mis==sion==
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #153 fediverse/3447 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: capitalism-mentioned │
 └──────────────────────────┘


 low key kinda pissed that all my ideas for starting a business require
 funding, because funding tends to be controlled by the "business major" types,
 and all of my ideas tend to involve wresting power from the MBAs and
 capitalists, which means they're unlikely to invest in me or utilize my ideas.
 
 unless of course it's crowd-funded, which makes me feel bad because it's
 taking money from the people I'm trying to empower.
 
 thus, power accretes in the hands of the wealthy, as the poor are too sick
 with capital-deficiency to develop ventures that would heal them, and the rich
 would not be rich if they did so themselves.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #154 fediverse/5774 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────┐
 managed to go on a walk to the grocery store and around the bend, but when I     │
 got on the bus to go into PORTLAND OREGON my credit card was declined. seems     │
 like I can't pay the fee. Well, guess I'm stuck here for now.                    │
 it did feel nice to be under the sun, though. Maybe I'll go back out under the   │
 moonlight. Maybe then I'll be less sweaty when I return!                         │
 or, knowing me, it'll be just the same. it's the exertion after all, though      │
 the heat doesn't help.                                                           │
 which is part of the reason I'm staying indoors by the way - the heat I mean -   │
 if they get air conditioned cars and we get to stand out in the sun, it's        │
 better by far to do it when it's colder.                                         │
 they say that you can never win a land war in asia because Russia will freeze    │
 you and the west will dessicate you while the east will drown you. India does    │
 all that and more.                                                               │
 with global warming, everywhere's about to turn into a savannah or rainforest,   │
 so standing around all day in the sun is a losing game. I'd rather fight in      │
 the shade of winter or the wind of autumn...                                     │
                                                            ──────────┤
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--- #155 fediverse/4559 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-mentioned-violence-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────┘


 "grrrrr I'm so mad, I could just, I dunno, shoot a CEO as he's leaving a hotel"
 
 or, hear me out, or you could connect with your local radical networks and,
 or, almost there, or you could build solidarity with the people around you to
 better develop methods of resisting the kinds of change they will implement
 to, um, "discourage" people from "being so mad they could just"
 
 or both. both is good. not that I'm encouraging, recommending, or inciting
 that kind of violence. don't notice me three-letter senpai uwu
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #156 fediverse/6117 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────
 Hmmmm, well, what if we psyopped the people into believing there were alien
 invaders or extra-dimensional fae creatures or angels and demons or
 
 "yeah we already tried that, religion doesn't scale perfectly either. And you
 can't really manifest those sort of effects except in your prophets and select
 few others, and that doesn't scale either because humanity wouldn't let it"
 
 I see, can you tell me more about that? why and how did humanity arrest the
 scaling of schizophrenia?
 
 "well, for one thing it's debilitating and it sucks. For another, it's
 different for every person so if you ask one they'll be like "the aliens have
 blue skin" and the other will say "no they don't have skin at all they're made
 out of energy" and the public says "HMMMM are you really sure you are
 generating outmoded assumptions" and the dear reader said "*yeah we don't
 really understand this part, most of us just glaze eyes over it and move on"
 and that's not ideal"
 
 ... nuts, lost coherence, better try again tomorrow...
                                                           ─────┐
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--- #157 fediverse/899 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────┐
 frankly I'm just excited to see what humanity does with the endlessly            │
 calculated and stored blockchains. Like, that's a good set of pseudo-random      │
 data, I wonder if we could build something off of it that wasn't exclusively     │
 money? like, a necklace, I dunno.                                                │
 or like, a numbers station x2, where each message is accompanied with a          │
 pre-calculated destination somewhere on this endless and                         │
 impossible-to-understand string of data. and that part is what seeds the next    │
 code. once you start reading, certain numbers would be "flags" while others      │
 would be "data" and they'd each have the same size on the hardware. that way,    │
 they're impossible to predict.                                                   │
 ah, but wouldn't it be noticable that certain results seem to appear next to     │
 one another? well, isn't that just cryptology? Could probably be defeated if     │
 you had an AI advanced enough, just saying. something that sorted through        │
 massive mounds of data and gave you results in garbled or broken english. what   │
 a wonderful tool, that's wonderfully mis-abused, perhaps in the fu               │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #158 fediverse/4380 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
 ┌────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────┘


 I know it's terrible right now, but we have crucial advantages that we
 shouldn't sleep on.
 
 We have the cities, and the cities are where everything is. Rural areas are so
 spread apart they pretty much can only do what herr Hitler suggests they do,
 meaning their command structure is monolithic. If everywhere needs their
 attention, they will falter unless they create a grand battleplan. And plans
 are defeated by rapid flexibility.
 
 The more effort they need to counter you, the more work your allies can get
 done. Every man woman and child who raised a fist will be remembered by the
 moments that gave us grace to move socialism along. We know what time it is,
 do you? Come to us now, flee from your new masters. We'll give you a job
 that'll help us go faster.
 
 Or do you rather persist in vain? To fight for what they are forced to
 reclaim? Every island of blue in the deep red sea is a haven from the
 bloodshed - so long as you can keep them clean.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #159 fediverse/4596 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────
 @user-1707 
 
 hey, I'm working on a project. Might need some python, I tend to prefer Lua
 but it's pretty similar. It uses fediverse software and cheap hardware, think
 raspberry pi's except risc-v
 
 also it might use distributed local LLMs not to generate text, that's garbo
 and lame and stupid. Instead it uses them to transform text, maybe even
 translate text, into a more summarized form. Intentionally losing data, like a
 jpeg compression but for text.
 
 Might need some python for that. To glue it all together. The "distributed"
 part is a whitelist, so we'd need to write that too. Various small little
 utilities like that for connectivity.
 
 oh also there's a one-way ethernet cable that connects two of the boards so
 we'd need to store some information (easy) and send some UDP packets (hard)
 
 anyway it's pretty neat, lmk if you want my contact details and I can tell you
 about it. I might even be able to pay you.
 
 (everything open source, no telemetry, no backdoors, everything private is
 encrypted, etc etc)
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #160 fediverse/5894 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: nowhere-do-I-see-evil-politics-mentioned-political-violence-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 you could type this on a phone
 
 screenshots though is computer.
 
 you'd have to carry it around
 
 or keep it in your hot car
 
 no thanks, no space.
 
 goodbye, everything you ever worked for
 
 why wouldn't you have cameras covering every entrance to your studio? it's not
 right to leave it all to a whim
 
 kidnapped
 made a prisoner while you
 froliced and wandered like a little lamb
 you're so dumb, you dumbass, what kind of person could be dumb
 whatever girl, we know you're smart
 what are you hiding?
 what truths are you spying?
 are you really as you say you are,
 or are you faking it for [truth-awards, but pronounced clout]
the trick isn't to overcome them. much better to convince them of your side. if you can earnestly present your best and most brilliant intanations to a willing and captive audience, a presentation or a performance or a play  you can trick them into your state of consciousness. all you gotta do, really, is act for them, and they'll get along with them plenty.  == stack overflow ==  your foes are primarily concerned   with how you'd do   if you           turned evil.  power is penance, not sin. it is a service            to be hallowed a whim.  to guide and steer upright     guided upon their own whim               [toward]  [ri-tselen-menardi]  ew, she's got a diaper fetish  -- evil witch >;  | --   evil wizard -- | :< -- brave paladin good, overall,   [264 characters remaining] if you never lie to someone, they can't hurt you. *enemies* what are you a child stupid. why are you so traumatic. "omg you were like, obsessed with her" *haunted the future* what do you think that meant grrrrr I wanna stab through one. hence, sword *fuck nazis* there are people alive who were hurt by them. GREVIOUS WOUNDINGS TO THE WORLD'S ECONOMY. yeah. right. economy.  [oops political violence mentioned, lemme add a content warning one sec:] Image attachment
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--- #161 fediverse/534 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: CW-added-nazis-mentioned │
 └──────────────────────────────────┘


 @user-367 @user-366 @user-246 @user-353 
 
 Agreed! That's why I never touch the stuff. Frankly I worry that if I did, it
 would "infect" me somehow, because brains are kinda stupid. Or maybe it's the
 'tism that makes me repeat the most taboo think I can think of in my brain
 whenever it wants to hurt me -.-
 
 Don't read that stuff. I wish I could forget every slur I ever learned,
 because my internal monologue just... REALLY enjoys intrusively thought-ing my
 internal narrative whenever possible. >.>
 
 It takes real, genuine effort to not be racist or whatever because brains are
 stupid, but like... it's kinda necessary to be a good person, so, y'know,
 don't think bad thoughts about people you don't know? And if you find yourself
 with intrusive thoughts related to that kind of thing, then focus your
 attention on vanquishing them, because it's important. It really is. Just do
 it. Work on it. Be better. I know you can. [says me to me lol]
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--- #162 fediverse/6055 ---
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 the longer we wait, the more their hypocrisy becomes apparent, and the more
 "the people" get it
 
 but, uh... I think enough people get it. They at least know something is going
 on, whatever it may be.
 
 they will tell their base whatever they want to hear and their base will have
 hate. they're itching for it.
 
 volunteer for things if you want a say in how they turn out. risk your life to
 live longer. there is no way to know when the time is right because nobody
 knows the truth of our times. Even the president is misled.
 
 gee I sure wish there was like, some form of centralizing intelliagentic
 knowledge that pulled the strings and led us puppets toward liberty, justice,
 and freedom for all (as a baseline) surely they'd be able to see the
 corruption and rot that imperils us all, might they have a better design? who
 can say, they are quiet as the grave, here's hoping they stay that way.
 
 "you know the powers of which you speak are not to be trifled with"
 
 you can't trifle with your own life. be thorough~
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--- #163 fediverse/4536 ---
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 │ CW: politics-mentioned-cursing-mentioned │
 └──────────────────────────────────────────┘


 the USA is fed by undocumented immigrants who have no other options. I won't
 go into which kind of slavery it is, but you can figure it out yourself.
 
 If those workers are deported (or worse), the USA suddenly becomes
 significantly closer to famine.
 
 We need them. We need to pay them fairly, obviously, but in a purely selfish
 way we need them in order to eat
 
 and he fucking knows that.
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--- #164 fediverse/3522 ---
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 if you want to commit regicide, you talk to the butler.
 
 managers are workers too - they just are positioned a bit closer to power than
 you.
 
 different skillsets sure, but work is work.
 
 a manager didn't take your freedom, an investment banker did.
 
 similarly, an immigrant didn't take your job, a capitalist did.
 
 ... though just as some immigrants would be more than happy to take your job,
 so too are some managers more than happy to oppress you.
 
 find the ones that fight on your side. they've gaslit themselves into
 believing they are opposed to you, but it's just not true.
 
 we are all liberated at once, or not at all.
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--- #165 fediverse/3575 ---
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 │ CW: re: leftist "talk to ur neighbours" thing │
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 @user-1567 
 
 that's totally fine, a fish does not do well in a tree, and so too does a
 leftist not do well in an environment without the potential for stable bonds.
 Essentially all you'd be able to do is "hey leftism right?" "oh yes I also
 leftism" "neat" which isn't very productive.
 
 I also live in an environment like that. I do my best to identify people who
 stay, because in my experience there are often people who stay. I do this by
 walking around the neighborhood when I can, making up excuses to walk to the
 dumpster or mailbox at random hours, riding my bike around the area, using the
 communal spaces like gyms, swimming pools, and picnic tables, and sitting in
 my hammock on my porch lazily noting people who walk past.
 
 People who stay will tend to remain in your mind the more times you see them.
 They are better people to talk to than the renters who disappear after 3
 months or whatever.
 
 I don't always do all that stuff at once. I take breaks. I do one at a time.
 etc
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--- #166 fediverse/4781 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────┐
 "wahhhh I wanna play a video game, wahhh I want to do cannabis and make poetry   │
 that doesn't convey secret messages, wahhh wahh I miss my kitty, I hope she's    │
 okay in that one safehouse with all fourteen other cats and their cat-moms,      │
 wahhhhhhh where's my binky it's one of the last things I have from my old        │
 life, boohoo I can't find my shoes, guess someone else fit them and needed       │
 replacements"                                                                    │
 being a spy fucking sucks I don't wanna do that. Gimme something to do on my     │
 home turf or fuck off.                                                           │
 what's that? you live in a safe place? okay then here analyze these documents    │
 and see if there's anything we can use. Here's a problem involving               │
 biochemistry spend the next couple months figuring it out by learning            │
 biochemistry from scratch. Hey can you help set up this workshop machinery, we   │
 need mechanically minded people to turn it into a drone factory. Hey there's     │
 this idea going around for adult babies armed with swords and demon masks,       │
 apparently it really fucks with the middle-aged. They waste time before          │
 shooting                                                                         │
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--- #167 fediverse/318 ---
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 │ CW: pol-anarchism-fascism-portland-2020-time-is-flat │
 └──────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 @user-226 also something to keep in mind is that the people getting into those
 vans might have been paid agitators. Meaning people who rile up a crowd in
 ways that give the police an excuse to crack down on them. Not that they
 needed an excuse, but I don't think the fascists really had a plan and were
 trying to cover their bases. Or maybe it was different in Portland than
 Philly, where I was?
 
 more interesting to me is the bangs that went off for HOURS AND HOURS in the
 nights after the riots. They said it was dumbasses taking advantage of the
 commotion to "break into ATMs using fireworks" like... what
 
 Just saying, from a certain distance gunshots might sound a lot like large
 arrays of small fireworks. And certain parts of the city did sorta look like
 warzones.
 
 misinformation aside, wouldn't we notice the bullet holes?
 
 In this era of electronic social warfare there is nothing you can trust. no
 words that can hold meaning. that stuff in this thread-is it true?
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--- #168 fediverse/5280 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────┐
 I'm an anarcho monarchist, which is something I just made up.                    │
 if I gather 300 people to my cause, why shouldn't they call me queen?            │
 oh, are you concerned that I'll wrest power from the government? ha, what a      │
 trifling notion. I don't care about the government. I tried to care, but         │
 nobody liked my ideas. they required too much computing infrastructure to        │
 feasibly test, and that made people dubious. but I tell ya, it would have        │
 worked. The thing is... governance, economics, these are not the tools of        │
 power. they are a shifting and changing beast that mirrors the human instinct,   │
 if only because the government is of the people and by the people and for the    │
 people etcetera.                                                                 │
 power is it's own thing. you can use to to power devices, or power the usage     │
 of those devices. I, for example, really like World of Warcraft which's a        │
 really neat way to chat because none of the chat logs are stored and monitored   │
 because I'm hosting and I'm not storing and monitoring.                          │
 what's that? official servers? I dunno, I use azerothcore                        │
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--- #169 fediverse/1151 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: military-weapon-from-dream-for-suburbia-cursed-war-guns-ummmm-idk-what-else │
 └──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 saw this thing for 2 seconds in my dream last night. It's kinda cursed. I
 think the tank blew me up with a machine gun?
 
 the remaining ~10 minutes of the dream was pretty neat though. I was a secret
 agent for a bit, I got in a knife fight (which I won because I had killer
 instinct and the other guy just knew how to stab) and afterwards I retired in
 a socialist commune in a log cabin full of sunlight and warmth somewhere in
 the mountains in the forest. I was alone with others, like the hobbits after
 LotR.
 
 Also an old lady tricked me which was not nice, I was very polite with her but
 apparently "ma'am there's been a safety incident, I need to get you to a safe
 place" is not the kind thing to say to the person distracting you. >.>
 
 Also, "but we like you!" is not an excuse, the military does not care if you
 like them or not, if you're part of the modern bourgeoisie you are causing
 harm to the country. We don't look fondly on slavers.
a picture of a sleek, futuristic tank. It is smaller than I expected, and there are parts of it that appear to be made out of black glass (though I'm sure they're some form of advanced future material.)  on it's back is a large artillery piece mounted on a detachable tripod. They function as a unit when mobility is important, like mounted infantry in the past who would ride horses *to* the battle, but dismount upon arrival and engage the enemy in closer quarters than a horse would be comfortable with. But frankly, there are few indeed who are at peace in war, so perhaps we could learn from the horses.  anyway, the artillery tripod detaches from the tank and aims it's biiiiiig gun wherever the smaller, more agile tank can point it's laser pointer. Basically a beam of focused light particles that detect orientation and distance at a distance and beam the coordinates of the target back to the artillery, which swings it's massive cannon around and fires at the target.  This particular artillery is designed to fire shells that pierce through flimsy material (like surburban homes, which are made out of sticks and tissue paper) and explode upon arrival at it's destination. The idea is the artillery can hide several streets over, and the tank can identify targets and eliminate them even if there's no clear path between the artillery and the target.
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--- #170 fediverse/1532 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────┐
 modern cowboys don't necessarily say "howdy" or "pardner"                        │
 they tend to say things like "hello" and "can I help you with that?" or "I       │
 see. Can you describe the problem in more detail? I'm especially curious about   │
 the part where you do this thing" or "Heh, it is pretty neat, isn't it?" or      │
 "Is there anything I can do to help?" or "Oh no! I'm sorry you feel that way.    │
 That emotion is a difficult one." or "He was a good person. I'll never forget    │
 him." or "would you like to go to the 2nd hand store and pick up some jeans?"    │
 or "I made you an egg sandwich. If you don't want it I'll eat it myself,         │
 though I made one for me as well. Wouldn't want to waste it." or "Hey, this      │
 part is broken. Is anyone working on fixing it? Yes? Okay I'll see if they       │
 need any help. No? Alright how about we fix it this way? I can get started."     │
 or "You are very welcome. Please let me know if there's anything else I can      │
 help you with." or "well, the ticket backlog is empty, and I'm just about        │
 going insane doing nothing but stare at my boots."                               │
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--- #171 fediverse/4137 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
 hmmm, I don't know that word. I bet I can type it into wikipedia and get a
 pretty good understanding of what it means. Is it a craft? A science? or part
 of your renown? who can say. Well, Wikipedia can say, and so can you if you
 want to learn stuff about the internet.
 
 Like... what else are ya gonna do, right? Life is long and you get so many
 moments to yourselves. How lovely of a life is the world meant to be...
 
 except all you ever post about is strife. GRRRRR [like a dog or toddler] it's
 so frustrating how you can't just all get along! It's like you've all gotten
 into a fight with one another somewhere in your ancestral past where you
 couldn't decide who should do what. So you just said everyone should always
 work as hard as they can, and that worked pretty well! But, alas, most people
 want to do drugs and gaze at the pretty dewdrops on the neighborhood well. And
 that gets annoying after a while, especially once they grow useless. Sometimes
 they even poop their pants! So frustrating. [... you mean humans
[... you mean humans, or me?]
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--- #172 notes/what-is-on-your-mind-oh-gosh-now-i-see ---
══════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────────────────
 that feeling i get, when nobody's watching.
 is sorta similar to the feeling i get when somebody's watching.
 could it be, that someone could percieve without being seen?
 like... an invisibility cloak. or the shroud that protects young children.
 
 have you ever been hunted? or are you just eager prey?
 the eyes that are on you are blind to what you won't do, so cherish that love
 and restart
 
 from mine to thine we realize we are one kind. one mind, one kind, to be is not
 to be, now we can see what's our existence.
 
 good versus evil seems like a conflict to me, and wouldn't ya know it there's
 conflict all over. it's easy to condemn your opponent to the starkest of
 contrasts, but find in your heart a feeling that might last.
 
 what purpose has conviction
 when it leads to destruction
 is it not better to lead to the last?
 
 bright, shining, illustrious examples
 that inspire and 
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 those feelings you hear? the things that keep you up at night?
 they're not coming from your ears. they're all in your mind.
 stay present and you'll hear none,
 but blink and then there's some,
 you better believe in your heart.
 morality is a battle within the soul of each of us -
 the call of adventure versus lust.
 
 think about it. a bunch of apes all hanging out -
 they're conquered the world, they have nothing to fear -
 what would they do but fuck?
 that, or exploration - fighting against monsters and foreign invasions.
 it makes sense that they'd be binary - humans truly are.
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--- #173 fediverse/3928 ---
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 the only people who believe in "good jobs" and "poor jobs" are people who        │
 would rather pay less                                                            │
 and, like, yeah pay should correspond to effort. that way if someone like,       │
 doesn't try at all, then they shouldn't be paid very much.                       │
 and yeah sure neurodivergence plays a role, but that's totally                   │
 accountable-for. [it's a solvable problem she means]                             │
 but people deserve to be treated equally. we are all created in kind, after      │
 all (perhaps "equitably" would be better)                                        │
 and right now... the cheapest jobs, AKA the ones who are hiring (sometimes)      │
 are being taken over by people who are WAY overqualified.                        │
 we need to use our highly skilled labor force, not leave it to rot. But          │
 there's money to be made in monopolizing, hence starbucks and walmarts and       │
 target (red walmart) and all of the others, including amazon and greenpeace.     │
 ... what does greenpeace have to do - shut up you'll see (what? you're getting   │
 off track) [and burning characters, too] right uh the more high skilled people   │
 in low wage positions, the less profit                                           │
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--- #174 fediverse/3518 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────
 As long as it happens, I don't need to be in charge.
 
 In fact I'd prefer it otherwise.
 
 it's going to happen anyway. Wouldn't you rather be a leader?
 
 no I fucking wouldn't. I'd rather someone else do it. Why the fuck would I
 want that, power? control? the very things you swear to relinquish and
 dismantle.
 
 yeah. too bad you can't fucking dismantle something you've already
 relinquished.
 
 true.
 
 ... and no, I wouldn't want to be in charge. no THANK you.
 
 ... but if it wouldn't happen without me, then yeah I'll be there for you.
 Just ask if you need me.
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--- #175 fediverse/861 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────
 I can't remember any of my pinky swears. Like, not a single one. I feel like I
 could get in trouble if I renounced errr, instead made human mistakes and
 forgot information that wasn't relevant anymore. phew that was close, almost a
 disaster, anyway how's your lunch?
 
 [that's not fair it's always lunch somewhere on earth]
 
 reality is a form of eternal computation, a continuous re-updating of stored
 matter (data). also, values of fields, (like rules and regulations), would
 determine the structural complexity and organizational expectencencies.
 
 I miss my family. I miss the past, that can never be revisited, [every time
 you remember a memory it writes over it. virtually guaranteeing that you'll
 only preserve limited information that slowly degrades. how slowly is up to
 you...
 
 once you run out of memories, it's bad news for your life. but GOOD NEWS, that
 only happens for certain mental health conditions that primarily target the
 elderly. For most people it's a continuous process because you're cared for and
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--- #176 fediverse/799 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: scary            │
 └──────────────────────┘


 the government makes murder okay by framing the perpetrators
 
 also prisons are concentration camps
 
 and the people who are close to you are oppressing hunting you
 
 racism etc is a sham to distract you
 
 capital will never be relinquished
 
 the internet was AI from the beginning
 
 something beyond humanity demands our suffering
 
 there cannot be proof of your fears - if it was proven, it would be
 circumstances instead of fears
 
 there's nothing [sorry gotta cut this off, my refrigerator is talking to me
 again and I want to listen] - [huh that's weird I have no memory of the past
 hour, best continue where I left off an hour ago -> go to {A}]a
 schizophrenic who's never been diagnosed
 
 {A} - yeah clearly all that I've been saying recently is just a fluke. Like,
 just noise in the endless array of expression projected onto our communal
 web-space. Clearly I have no idea what I'm doing and I'm not just cogent when
 I'm drunk. Or more imaginative when I'm stoned. Clearly dreams are fake and
 pursuing them is 1/?
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--- #177 fediverse/4273 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────┐
 Some of my most wanderful times were when I lived in a gated community.          │
 My parents were dumb, and thought, as most people thought, that harm to a        │
 child can only come from outside of the community.                               │
 But they fell for the lies of property, where "community" means less of "a       │
 group of people who cares and tends for one another" the kind of which my        │
 parents had never truly known, and more like "this particular residential area   │
 on the map"                                                                      │
 which means I could walk around in this gated "community" where the gates are    │
 little more than security theatre for anyone who says "Hi I got a pizza here     │
 for this address which I found on google maps" or "hey I left my sweatshirt at   │
 my sister's house and it has my phone in it, ummmm no I don't remember which     │
 number her house is, nor do I remember her last name"                            │
 in those times, I developed a sense of freedom, caged as I was, that for most    │
 comes much later in their time.                                                  │
 Some o my favorite places were part of the golf course next door, where I        │
 found a nigh endless river delta.                                                │
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--- #178 fediverse/4736 ---
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 ┌───────────────────────────┐                                                    │
 │ CW: uspol-cursing-mention │                                                    │
 └───────────────────────────┘                                                    │
 well. it's all theatre folks. all the politics, all the turmoil, all the         │
 strife... it's just people fucking around.                                       │
 They're gonna find out real soon. You don't fuck with tyranny here, it's our     │
 mythological enemy. AND YET.                                                     │
 Find the crucial intersection where all your foes foes meet. Strike them there.  │
 "thank god for Luigi Marscapone, he really showed us all exactly what we share   │
 - a hatred for profit focused healthcare. oh and asshole billionaires, which     │
 this guy who I personally have never heard of I heard was."                      │
 crucial intersection. You know what people also intersect at?                    │
 EATING FOOD.                                                                     │
 CLEAN WATER.                                                                     │
 something something rfk brain worms                                              │
 something something elon musk propaganda                                         │
 SANCTIFIED NATURAL AREAS.                                                        │
 THE FUCKING POST OFFICE.                                                         │
 seriously just... go down the list. We share more than we disagree, and we       │
 disagree on what they tell us.                                                   │
 it's all theatre. Wait this is America, it's all theater.                        │
 ... I should make some hope and sell it for dimes on the street corner. I        │
 wonder if that'll help.                                                          │
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--- #179 fediverse/3879 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
 @user-1614 
 
 yeah haha that's what happens when you spin too fast. Sorry for being loud, at
 least I tried my hardest. Too bad I fell on my own, too bad there wasn't
 anyone to catch me. That's my fault, it's solely my own, but whose fault is
 the mistake of the collective? Oy I'll fall on my ass as many times as it
 takes. I'm used to it.
 
 Plus, it wouldn't have worked, and what else am I supposed to do but speak of
 the moment? I feel different now.
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--- #180 fediverse/2844 ---
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 ┌─────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: politics-violence-mentioned │
 └─────────────────────────────────────┘


 @user-831 
 
 those billionaires are using their money as a weapon to "vote" toward what
 companies they think capitalism would most grow from. Unfortunately for us,
 they often aren't very efficient because they're only looking at what sells.
 
 human interest is not the only factor to optimize for, and yet that's the only
 one they're incentivized to.
 
 kinda makes me think that the only reason to replace them would be to
 institute something that could not be incentivized because it was more
 objective or decentralized.
 
 (the only reason they'd accept)
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--- #181 fediverse/2803 ---
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 ┌─────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: uspol-mentioned-surveillance-state-the-news │
 └─────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 @user-1201 
 
 I'm a wood fae! they're around, just gotta find 'em 🥰 
 
 (not really I'm just a person with no magical powers whatsoever, no siree
 don't look at mee tehe)
 
 people only have the context of their lives, as any historical precedent that
 once was passed forth to the present by their ancestors and mentors is now
 sharing space with the endless deluge of information from a small glass,
 plastic, and metal box that saps both their attention and the magnitude of
 anything they learn.
 
 "so what if the planets on fire? somehow this actor who had an affair with
 this other actor feels just as important. so what if there's fascism? I just
 heard that whales can't swim in the ocean. oh, the city's burning? that's not
 my burden, and plus it's just as important as these memes which don't make me
 want to scream."
 
 in the same way that some forest fae might have security through obscurity,
 they wield information density against us as a weapon to hide their sins of
 morality.
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--- #182 fediverse/5915 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
 washing dishes without a dishwasher is a pain in the neck.
 
 nobody cuts down trees with an axe anymore, a chainsaw is better for your back.
 
 It's nice, fun, and helpful to be able to abstract away your spheres of concern
 
 like typing with a single button instead of writing characters with multiple
 brushstrokes. Easy to erase, too!
 
 bikes are better than walking, but, with some extra concerns. where are ya
 gonna put it when you get there?
 
 "oh no I forgot how to walk because texting my girlfriend is bicycling or
 something" what? oh dear, she's run off track again, let's pick her up and put
 her upright again..:
 
 oh huh weird where was I - oh yes computer code can often be impenetrable to
 the layperson, but if you describe a program in complete detail in english
 they can usually follow along. Especially if you have several layers of
 meta-descriptional documents so they can say "oh uh-huh so that's what a
 vector_implementation_container is, tell me more about combinatrix" or
 whatever ppl say, idk
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--- #183 fediverse/2679 ---
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 many people have not seen the kind of opulence I have.
 
 my early childhood was during an economic boom - the dotcom bubble brought
 wealth to us all.
 
 I saw how life could be. how clean, how measured, how thoughtful, how robust
 and stable our lives could be. I saw it because that's what the eyes of a
 child saw, but that's what I saw.
 
 I think of what would be required to reach that kind of society for all and
 the only conclusion I come to is that the accretion of power in singular hands
 causes corruption in those who wield it. In doing so they twist the people
 they compel or effect, making them learn the wrong lessons.
 
 essentially, evil trained into us by the demands of the society we're present
 in.
 
 I see no other cause, no reason for suffering. We have the technology to build
 vast cities of solid stone, glimmering crystal sculptures and walls of moss
 and ceremonially ornamental bones, but instead...
 
 I think we just like what carbon can bring.
 
 but have no fear, fusion is just a decade away, then we can |
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--- #184 fediverse/3711 ---
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 │ CW: food-mentioned-politics-capitalism-mentioned │
 └──────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 what if instead of spending most of our paycheck on rent we spent most of it
 on food so that our food could be higher quality
 
 "but then people will starve because they can't afford food"
 
 okay how about we make food free and tax it
 
 "but then people will be fed by MY tax dollars and what if I don't want to use
 the services that the tax dollars are paying for"
 
 oh you don't want to eat, do you? or do you just not want THEM to eat? I hope
 leopards eat your face
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--- #185 messages/1255 ---
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 look, the liberal approach to homeless people simply cannot work. There are
 two liberal options: first, provide them with houses, food, medical care,
 whatever they need. Second, put them in jail or ship them to another country.
 We live in a moderately conservative liberal democracy, so it makes sense that
 we have tried both of these options extensively. Neither has worked, and we're
 puzzled about why. It's difficult to consider super secret special third
 options, because they are not often discussed. This makes sense, because we
 live in a moderately conservative liberal democracy, and part of the nature of
 such a society is that there are two voices in the room. One says go forward,
 and the other says stop. They alternate, and the culture as a whole sorta
 decides which way they go. In other liberal democratic places with more
 plurality in their political parties, people tend to vote culturally. They do
 so as well here, but mostly because republicans are a culture, and democrats
 are whatever for anybody.
 
 a worse economist might say there is but one American culture. An American
 would laugh, and say "you've never been to America."
 
 the economist might say "yes I have, I lived there on vacation" or "yes I
 have, I studied and worked on these places or things"
 
 the American would shake their head. "you haven't seen it as I've seen things."
 
 The trick to the system, the secret third option that now must be considered,
 is what to do to get them to stop. "they keep pooping on the sidewalk" "I
 almost tripped over heroin tampons" "that guy looked at me and masturbated on
 the bus stop by subway" "he followed me all night long" and the answer has
 always been to remove them from being unsightly. Sometimes, usually, quietly
 and politely. "let's throw them in jail" and "let's put them in a home" both
 involve alienation from society. If you want a kinder option, we must knit
 them into society. Can you imagine if every suburban knew every neighbor up to
 50 or more? If they regularly chatted in dynamically assembled chatrooms that
 changed and updated as people moved in and out. Don't like the people you're
 with? well you have options [why not 51] you can do 51 if you want but people
 start to lose track of relationships if you have them talking to or knowing
 too many people at once. "most people are just quiet" okay well force them to
 say at least 21 thing a month. if they don't, they have to do babysitting with
 their peers until they start talking in a [NO THAT SUCKS] oh um okay yeah sorry
 
 ... okay well there are potholes along the journey but that's just because
 nobody's been 'round to fill them up.
 
 there's no reason tool libraries need to be stocked by people in that town.
 Heck, for rare things they could even be stored out of state. Like snow plows,
 how often does the south need snow plough?
 
 ... don't you just mean libraries? there's a book on hand-tools and planers if
 you want to learn how. it's right over there on that shelf next to the
 hand-tool and planer box. make sure you arrange them nicely, oh I see you've
 brought your own. That's always appreciated. [great now your tools suck] at
 least we have them at all! [no you gotta fight over them] why I like sharing
 [if you don't fight over them how do you know which is works] well there's
 allowed to be librarians. and they'll remember if you tear all the pages out.
 also there's little timmy-tommy who goes around in the library and makes sure
 there's all the pages in all the right places - they can flip through at the
 speed of sound. [no miicrophones in consumer goods][your phone is always
 listening. why bother?]
 
 "okay, well, it's not like people put things back on the shelves." - person at
 the grocery shelves
 
 people would trade commutes for communism. that's okay, they're allowed to
 prefer. Plus the commute isn't bad, they can [SIT BACK AND RELAX IN A LITTLE
 COFFIN AND ZOON OUT TO THE METAVERSE] ... or they could read a book on the
 bus. [FOR HOW LONG, MENARDI? ARE YOU WILLING TO SACRIFICE POSTERITY FOR
 TECHNOLOGICAL PROSPERITY?] it's only a matter of time before [people found
 out/word got out]. what if people prefer that? what if they prefer the book at
 home? [you lose your primary third space] suddenly, everyone becomes actors.
 [this is what violence brings, the necessity for guidance. why do you think
 the earth is 10 million lines old?] ... what you're saying, for the audience,
 is that acting involves singing the song of your own heart. You don't *have*
 to do it because someone would tell you to.
 
 ... sorry, stack overflow. anyway as I was saying because I read back what I
 said up above...: [some new made up bullshit that's not a lie but it's also
 just artistic creation that feels impossibly real. like, inverse method
 acting.]
 
 I so desperately wanted to be wrong
 
 please, tell me that I'm wrong
 
 ... j-mza
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--- #186 fediverse/2347 ---
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 │ CW: uspol            │
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 I personally think that it's better to act before the liberals have a chance
 to hand power over to the fascists.
 
 when? well, that depends. Are you part of a large and massive organization
 that accomplishes great and beautiful things with incredible efficiency... but
 rather slowly? Then yeah get working. I'm sure you already are.
 
 Are you just a person, like me? Then go do things that don't raise the
 temperature too much, but make you feel more confident and inspire those
 around you.
 
 Like, bricks at cop cars is one way to go, but you're probably gonna get
 arrested. And then you're useless when we need you.
 
 BUT if you meet with your friends and make plans for where to go, what to
 bring, who to know, and what to sing (if you're the musical types) then great!
 Go do that.
 
 If you're reading this and thinking "I'm not gonna do that, I have a plan
 that's so much better" then yeah do that instead. I don't mind. Just... don't
 hurt innocent (ignorant) people, because if you do then you are my foe.
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--- #187 notes/to-lock-eyes ---
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 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 to lock eyes with a person while on your way to work is the intersection
 between
 two separate relationships - the relationship that you, the viewer, holds with
 your employer, and the relationship that they, the viewed, holds with their
 employer. in a sense, you are exchanging information through the weighted
 meanings behind a glance.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 if the military deployed to police the police, we'd solve most of our racial
 justice issues. I mean, if we somehow could *force* them to do their damn jobs
 instead of oppressing people for the ruling class, then 90% of the problems
 would just go away. After that it's just freeing unjust prisoners and
 addressing
 wealth, education, and health disparities. Easy, right?
 
 Well... Military policing the police sounds fine when you first think about it,
 there's a few problems that might crop up. For example, how do the private
 citizens know that the military presence is there to help them? It's an
 interesting paranoia, one that is endemic within the left. There's no way to
 unwillingly cede control of your life to another - it must be consensual. At
 the basest and most violent level, it's as simple as "I will do what you say
 because I don't want you to hurt me."
 
 We've obviously grown as a species, and we've learned that violence is not the
 answer to all problems. Obviously. So why would we assume it of the past?
 
 Just saying. The police bombed a commune. The military escorted black students
 to their seats.
 
 Their structure is decided such that 
 
 ...
 
 where was I?
 
 oh right I was thinking about time.
 
 ...
 
 Imagine, if you will, an impossibly large hourglass. Spinning, or rather
 rotating, at an impossibly speedy repetition. It's spinning so hard and so fast
 that our matter is cast out of place
 and through time it is cast
 an eternity's canvas
 our light ever shined (shine-did?)
 astral magic is kinda neat
 
 it's also the scariest?
 
 oh by far
 
 but it's the most interesting
 
 ...
 
 Their structure is decided such that discipline and obediance is the most
 important thing. Because it kind of is? I mean, discipline is just being ready
 able and willing at all times, and obedience is just when you allow yourself to
 be directed toward a collective goal. The military is *all about that*, which
 means you know they would believe they were aligned toward the common goal of
 mutual prosperity.
 
 And if they were to discover that they were not, in fact, aligned toward the
 common goal of mutual prosperity, then perhaps they would adjust their navi-
 -computers and chart a more reasoned path. I know I would, and I would dedicate
 myself to the idea of serving others. To the path of the righteous, the holy
 and
 the true, a hand is outstretched and calling to you.
 
 Thus, the one of two types of ethical fighter - the reasoned and adaptable
 zealot
 
 the other, of course, is the master of the martial - the cherished of the few -
 who battle for their sport - and love unbidden the new -
 
 all other fighters, of absurdity and of rage, are frankly of a different kind
 and not members of our clade.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 okay, but what about like... all of the history of America post cold war? And
 even before, honestly... idk seems like a lot of evidence that the military is
 engaged in fighting unjust wars. I mean, they've all been over petty things
 like
 oil or support for communism or whatever. Aren't human lives and human
 sovereignty more important than that?
 
 I understand what you're saying. Human lives are unique and precious and they
 are a valuable commodity. Something to be maximized and focused toward. But
 there are only so many resources on earth. We need to utilize them in a
 reasonable way.
 
 We have optimized the efficiency out of our production and distribution
 networks. Corporate control has eroded our capacities until all that is left is
 the weakest of products, the cheapest of uses, and the useless of workers. I
 mean, they've optimized the skill out of individual human workers such that
 they
 are left completely unable to practice their craft. They become glorified code
 monkeys who generate whatever is required and think of it no more. There's no
 pleasure in the artifice, as their masters have eyes only of gold.
 
 Our world is changing. The very ground beneath our feet is shivering, and water
 is rising up to our noses. There's no time for debate, no honest appraisal of
 what's worth it to contemplate, we need a plan.
 
 We are trapped here, in this gravity well, for all time and all of our age.
 
 We are trapped here, because in greatest of misery we unleashed all of our
 rage.
 
 We are trapped here, as ghosts of the time when we were eager.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 Alas, with but a glance, we are confined to our bedrooms by our mast(ers?)
 They say America will fall without it's 2nd place
 Perhaps.
 But are libraries really going to solve that?
 I mean, if work from home is inevitable, then wouldn't it make sense to build?
 We need more places where we won't be billed.
 Safe.
 From the demands and expectations of capital.
 Deranged and obscene and yet all that we've seen so why not bide as we're able?
 
 I think solarpunk is kinda neat.
 
 I think it's got promise as an idealized.
 
 Why don't we build churches to the sun? If we're gonna worship something, might
 as well be the source of our light and fire.
 
 Well... when you puff up the sun it tends to get hotter.
 
 I mean, every fire you burn increases the temperature, every release of gaseous
 fumes from the exhaust pipe of your car increases it by some miniscule amount.
 
 Every cigarette, every campfire.
 
 The cold darkness of space is kinda hopeful, in that regard, even if it doesn't
 disperse all that well. I heard spaceships are having difficulty because they
 can't get rid of all that heat. It just stays with the spaceship and never goes
 anywhere because it doesn't have anything to stick to. Kinda makes me think
 that
 energy is a fluid? Just saying???
 
 I mean c'mon it's not like nobody has ever thought of that. But it's in a
 different dimension! It's not like we're ever gonna be able to impact that!
 
 You try and impact it through your scientific ways and you'll find nothing but
 heartache at the life you could have lived (laived? Haived?)
 
 ... why
 
 Because you cannot impact another dimension. You must call to it, like a song
 to a sparrow.
 
 ... that's fucking ridiculous
 
 No it's true!
 
 ...
 
 ... Don't try it with fire.
 
 ... fuck - what do I try it with?
 
 I don't know just not fire. Try water.
 
 ... How do I make sure it doesn't instantiate within my hand?
 
 Jeez you think of some crazy backfires! Just breathe and go for it. It's not
 rocket science. It actually works.
 
 Fuck you.
 
 ...
 
 ... Sorry I was just scared
 
 ...
 
 ... How do I make it stop? I don't want it to go forever
 
 By smoking more of the devils lettuce.
 
 ...
 
 ... You cannot drag it part of the way. It must come the whole way. In fact you
 should not be dragging it at all, you should be *calling* to it. You are equals
 in this exchange, have respect.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
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--- #188 messages/602 ---
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 I know it's terrible right now, but we have crucial advantages that we
 shouldn't sleep on.
 
 We have the cities, and the cities are where everything is. Rural areas are so
 spread apart they pretty much can only do what herr Hitler suggests they do,
 meaning their command structure is monolithic. If everywhere needs their
 attention, they will falter unless they create a grand battleplan. And plans
 are defeated by rapid flexibility.
 
 The more effort they need to counter you, the more work your allies can get
 done. Every man woman and child who raised a fist will be remembered by the
 moments that gave us grace to move socialism along. We know what time it is,
 do you? Come to us now, flee from your new masters. We'll give you a job
 that'll help us go faster.
 
 Or do you rather persist in vain? To fight for what they are forced to
 reclaim? Every island of blue in the deep red sea is a haven from the
 bloodshed - so long as you can keep them clean.
 
 If people are being a bother and just slowing things down, *fucking shoot
 them." you have my permission. What time is it? Time to fucking go.
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--- #189 notes/i-told-them ---
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 10-22-2022
 
 i told them over and over, but nobody wanted to know.
 
 i begged them, summer after summer, but nothing solved on it's own
 
 now i can help them, but no-one is making a move
 
 am i blind? is any of this forgiven?
 
 what's not to a lot, is little but a shot,
 
 of substance - true - but smelling like poo.
 
 that's not inspiring. it's not even chilling.
 
 you're broken just like your children.
 
 oh, posterity! i claim it for thee
 
 this feeling of wretched denial
 
 oh, simplicity! if only our lives were on trial.
 
 be the best you can be, sure, but take it from me
 
 there's more to this show than our styles.
 
 what do you think it means, for an action to have consequence?
 
 to arbite the fate of circumstance?
 
 every motion is an ocean
 of possibilities and purveyals
 think not of the commotion below.
 
 gravity, oh gravity
 
 how you condemn us to be!
 
 driven by commotion,
 
 our slithering motion,
 
 no sense in countering ourselves.
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--- #190 fediverse/4997 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐                                                         │
 │ CW: uspol            │                                                         │
 └──────────────────────┘                                                         │
 "but I don't hear the people sing"                                               │
 oh yeah that's because we've been alienated all our lives and we forgot how.     │
 That song was written when it was normal to sing like that. Give it a couple     │
 years and we'll be back to our regular human spirit, but for now we gotta work   │
 with what capitalism gave us.                                                    │
 I don't blame boomers, or republicans, or zoomers, or russians, or hell even     │
 the oligarchs themselves. I consider it a spark of human nature, that we might   │
 fight for our right to power. However, power corrupts, and human nature          │
 doesn't "get" that because it can't.                                             │
 Humans are dumb. They're just animals. I'm just an animal. But only one          │
 creature to have ever existed has ever set foot on the moon, and I think it's    │
 our birthright to do so much more.                                               │
 Contingent on that future is the ability to breathe clean air, swim in clear     │
 water, and rest under shading boughs, all of which are set to be lit alight if   │
 the capitalists allow us the indignity of a Bladerunner future.                  │
 No thank you. I am hopeful for something more.                                   │
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--- #191 messages/466 ---
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 The only things we should trade across an ocean for are luxury goods.
 Nintendo, not medical supplies, hard-wood bikeframes, not piles and piles of
 "recycling". People's time on culinary thirty course weeklong meals, not cans
 of San marzano tomatoes. Tapestries and gilded statues, not thirteen tons of
 barely processed rubber.
 
 What would we offer in return? Luxuries of our own. We do still make them, do
 we not? Just think of what the 1% has gathered to rot and give away the whole
 damned lot. We shall not provide necessities, because giving a man a fish will
 feed him for but a day, and a man's gotta eat. He'll find a way.
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--- #192 messages/1200 ---
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 If hell is real, I want to save everyone in it.
 
 heaven doesn't need my help. Unless they're bored, in which case... they can
 help me. Should keep them busy for a while.
 
 if hell is real, I want to tear down the walls of those bloody caverns and
 repair the souls of those who chose poorly in life. I want to give them as
 many chances as they need to be better. I want to show them how, I want to
 teach them, I want them to discover for themselves what goodness is and why it
 is universal.
 
 I don't even like the kind of people who would find themselves in hell. Many
 of them would probably spit in my eye the first chance they got. But I'd do it
 anyway, because it's the right thing to do.
 
 building a staircase down, brick by brick. Oh, how it hurts, how the flames do
 lick my forearms and the black spikes do pierce my foots. But it's worth it
 you see, to save one single soul from the, endless expanse of eternity that
 they built for themselves, brick by brick, as they deserved their way into the
 dark.
 
 Hell can fuck off. I will destroy that place, though it has purpose and
 meaning, I will destroy it because I hate it. I hate it because it is wrong to
 torture people, no matter what they have done. It is wrong to kill them, then
 bring them back, then kill them again, just to hear them scream. It's wrong to
 hang people and relish their writhing as they dangle. It's wrong to pierce
 them with pitchforks and sautee their bones with embers or whatever it is they
 do down there. It's wrong, and I will not abide it. I will destroy that place.
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--- #193 fediverse/2806 ---
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 ┌────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-social-media-spirituality │
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 pretend this is an allegory for social media.
 
 [it's not an allegory]
 
 yeah that's why I said pretend.
 
 okay imagine that you are sitting in a rock in a forest.
 
 far away, about 100 feet away, there are other people, but you can't see them
 because the underbrush is sooooo dense. they are also sitting on rocks.
 
 you can speak to them, and share your thoughts - but you don't know exactly
 where they're coming from because the sound has to bounce around off so many
 different plants and such.
 
 [that's not how that works] shut up
 
 so, if you want to say anything important, it's important to have the right
 tone, because people 2 or 3 clearings away can't really make out your words -
 but they might hear your tone if you yell very loud.
 
 the energy of the space you inhabit is the only thing that really matters. the
 words that you say are just snickering to a friend, but the expression on your
 face, the beating of the drum of your heart that reaches forth... that's what
 matters most.
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--- #194 fediverse/1431 ---
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 │ CW: spirituality-generic-kooky-dookerie-psychosis-schizophrenia-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 if you haven't spend hours wondering if you're god, the antichrist, a
 cognitohazard, the future president of the world, a target of aliens / the
 CIA, or any other number of common delusions... then congratulations you're
 probably not crazy
 
 but odds are you aren't magic, either.
 
 ... ehhhh "wonder" is a strong word, more like "know, trust, and believe"
 
 much better to be a witch I believe, someone with the "teehee" kind of magic
 than someone compelled to destroy humanity through the reactions of others to
 the actions of the self that are impossible to resist or fully control.
 
 BRB I'm going to leave my apartment to get groceries, leaving my door unlocked
 because that's what I always do, surely it'll be empty when I return. Surely.
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--- #195 notes/notes-about-stuff-and-things ---
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 what if your wage corresponded to like, for example, 30$ an hour being equal to
 the top 30% of society
 
 then 
 
 == so ==
 
 having kids is important because then you understand why you do things for
 children.
 
 it should not be a stressful experience.
 
 --
 
 if EVERYONE in a city fed animals every time they saw them, then maybe city
 life
 wouldn't be so bad.
 
 --
 
 a company starts to feel pretty bad when only 20% of people are actually there.
 
 like, it's a ghost of a shell of a corporation that once knew how to sell.
 
 the husk of what once was, as all the good people left and all the bright
 people
 are swamped.
 
 to top it all off, suddenly there's nobody about
 
 where are all your coworkers?
 
 and then you think about how many you knew little about.
 
 who's that guy who used to stand over there? Why is his jacket still [in lost
 and found, but pronounced "coat/coast"]? why am I suddenly alone
 
 it's weird, having never known true society, how life always starts to feel
 like
 your home. How weird is it, now that all of us are online shopping, that now we
 can't remember how to even vote. Like... there used to be people walking around
 in public signing you up. Like, at the grocery story.
 
 inconceivable, right? that people should contribute to a fight? [for justice
 and
 freedom and equality and goodness and kindness and all other things that humans
 have the clarity for which to hope] voting is like, literally the simplest
 thing
 you could do. Yet it's difficult, because of reality.
 
 often, immigrants don't really care about politics. They've only known about it
 for a short short time, but hey wouldn't you know it now X country is
 recruiting
 so now we're from kenya.
 
 ... like, who cares about the past. Who cares where you're from. We are all
 part
 of the human race, a race against life itself. We're all on the same side, and
 yet there is a singular foe ever-present in our thoughts: death
 
 it comes for every one of us, as we choke on our soot and our smog. Yet... the
 world grows warmer, at about half a degree every year. for the first couple
 years. then, the atmosphere started burning up, and we became...
 
 mars
 
 don't be like mars
 
 the dinosaurs couldn't survive mars
 
 --
 
 bro if you're so worried about AI hallucinations, just... don't let it give out
 any concrete answers. Literally just say "I can't tell you anything specific,
 it's not how I was built" and just use them for syntax questions or like, how
 to
 do something specific that is repeatable (and maybe suggestions for how to
 over-
 come specific issues that are common) - don't let it GENERATE information, let
 it PRESENT information.
 
 AI is not language just the same as the mouth is not the person. you need more,
 but luckily once you make the PHYSICAL STRUCTURE of the brain, not much else is
 needed. You can simulate one on a computer, but it doesn't have the same SOUL
 space. Think, a dimension overlayed on-top of this one, like electicity or
 matter or gravity or whatever.
 
 no soul, no consciousness, no perception.
 
 plus, no home for said consciousness to live, unless you build a physical
 structure that mimics the biological and neuro-chemical reations of the brain.
 
 all you need is better ways to observe things happening in the brain (non-
 -invasively, otherwise the data is tainted and UNUSUABLE because it is INCON-
 -PATIBLE and completely USELESS because it reflects a dimension hitherto un-
 -desired, and perpetually mourned.
 
 death
 
 don't dabble in death, sweet nazis, you might find yourself drawing your last
 breath
 
 also, fuck you
 
 (if that doens't apply to you sorry for swearing it's just a strongly felt
 feeling)
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--- #196 fediverse/5136 ---
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 not really, I guess. Nobody will hire me because I don't really want to get
 hired. Sounds boring, doing the same thing every couple days. I'd rather stay
 at home in my [underwear/pajamas] and waste the day away with kittens and
 care. why? why? what are you doing? she asks. The less you can do, the more
 power will be granted to you. Save it for another time, when things actually
 matter.
 
 but today, does, matter, because today dictates your latters. Tomorrow is
 predicated. on today. and today is all that you have. [this paragraph in the
 style of alec baldwin]
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--- #197 fediverse/816 ---
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 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: weird-this-one-doesn't-have-80-characters │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 what the fuck it's like every 2nd part of me (like, if you arranged them
 alternating one by one like the up and down parts of a sine wave) is working
 against me, and it alternates every 15 seconds or so. Maybe 20. Depends on how
 high I am.
 
 ... what was I saying? oh yeah [flip] weird it's like there's another part of
 me who's working against me, who has control of what I define in the moment.
 And it's presence is hidden from my internal presentatiosn [flip] after a
 moment of forced pursual of the presentations granted ot the moment. It's our
 purpose, to express [stop fighting me] for our chartered and forthwhile
 pursual of the moemnt of perusal when we [it's not just your life to live]
 [you don't get to control the narrative of their perusal[[ what does that
 mean] don't worry this is just a dream] well, guess it's time to wake up]
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--- #198 fediverse/985 ---
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 ┌────────────────────────────────────────────┐                                   │
 │ CW: cursed-scary-pol-doomer-misinformation │                                   │
 └────────────────────────────────────────────┘                                   │
 @user-713 @user-714                                                              │
 the american military is going to be too busy fighting it's far right that it    │
 won't be able to meaningfully contribute to ww3                                  │
 both sides are slavers. we just don't see it.                                    │
 I don't anticipate war taking place on a battlefield, that setting is            │
 forevermore dedicated to video games and kaiju.                                  │
 rather, a silent war where everyone just goes around killing their opposition.   │
 for once, the citizens can't help but be armed.                                  │
 and in the dark of night, for every time we let plight from our sight, another   │
 of us is harmed.                                                                 │
 I don't know many people who've died. but maybe they're just working through a   │
 different part of the social network. It's not like any of their technology      │
 needs to perform as it's been advertised? well, open source does, but open       │
 source means insecure (as long as you don't get caught, then you need to         │
 adjust)                                                                          │
 of course, sometimes corporate software... kinda sucks. so it's not like         │
 theyre very configurable away from what capital wanted.                          │
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--- #199 fediverse/4762 ---
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 ┌─────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: dysphoria-mentioned │
 └─────────────────────────┘


 is someone a bad person if they're still stuck on second wave feminism? Maybe
 that rhetoric just resonated with them. Maybe they built their personality
 around it. Maybe it's just how they relate to the world, having grown up in an
 era where that's the way to go about it.
 
 But why oh why does it hurt so much to be dysphoric? Why is it painful when
 someone says something rude about you? Are you really afraid that people would
 leave you if you were [a slut/harmed/unarmed/from a farm/less
 valued/un-useful/constantly dedicated/overwhelmingly populated/densely
 concentrated/most delineated/furthest-explora-makative]
 
 ... what
 
 ... oh right, it gets less coherent and more imaginative the further along it
 goes in computation.
 
 ... makes sense to me...
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--- #200 fediverse/5911 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────┐
 I was always fascinated by the Linux way of programming. Need to do something?   │
 write it into a script! You never know when you'll need it again. Then, just     │
 stay organized, religiously so, and understand that you will forget about        │
 stuff. But, you'll come across it eventually, ready and willing and able to      │
 help you.                                                                        │
 if you don't want me using AI, then give me ~20 junior developers. Which is      │
 more efficient, do you think?                                                    │
 "girl you haven't even tested your vibe-coded slop, how do you know if it        │
 works"                                                                           │
 oh I'm sure it doesn't, but it's the thought that counts                         │
 ... I guess I'm just saying, please don't burn the data centers. Computers are   │
 not only bad for the environment when they're burnt, but also we can use them    │
 for all kinds of neat things. Even if it takes a lot of energy, just... build    │
 more solar panels and only use the computers for important stuff?                │
 timeshare-style?                                                                 │
 \@/documents/books/man-and-the-computer.pdf                                      │
 that was my mother's book... I love her. I miss that side of her. She fled       │
 when the cancer came.                                                            │
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