=== ANCHOR POEM ===
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"your feelings are valid, but have you considered that your feelings aren't
actually valid because you're always wrong and nobody should ever apologize to
you for anything because you suck and are wrong?"
also,
"my six digit salary isn't enough to pay for your rice and beans, but I won't
have you eating sticks and mud, so do things you don't want to do because I
said so."
also,
"I don't really "get" your art but that doesn't mean I should ever really try
reading it. Also god forbid I actually ask for clarification like "what does
that part mean" because I'm not actually that interested in you I just want a
stable household so I never get traumatized again like [their childhood]"
also,
"yes I love you but no I don't want to play with you. you're such a cat."
also,
"every time you start making sense I'm going to try and derail the
conversation so that we don't talk about kooky-dookerie because that's a
conversation I can't win"
also,
sorry for venting. I mean, thanks for listeni
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=== SIMILARITY RANKED ===
--- #1 fediverse/4730 ---
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I am not interested in being given money. Usually it means someone wants
something from me, like labor or some of my stuff. I have all the stuff I
need, why would I need more money? I like my stuff! I'll help out when people
need help but I do that because I'm a good person, not because I want you to
fucking pay me for it.
I have all the things I need... except a deed to my house. apartment. oh yeah,
they can kick you out for that sin. well, sorry, I couldn't find out at
goodwill or in the trash bin, so I guess I'm deed-less. My deeds go unproven.
How can I prove that I deserve a decent life in this particular roof, the one
I find over my head, when I cannot prove that my deeds qualify me for a decent
life lived under this particular roof?
I mean, did you ask the neighbors if they want me gone? Am I really that
smelly? Does my keyboard make "clickety-clack" noises all through the night?
Does my cat meow and bother the children? Do my friendly smiles and waves make
you uncomfortable?
Have a decent life.
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--- #2 messages/665 ---
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ad-hoc economic systems with automated judgment given by an infinite amount of
LLMs.
Every judgement applies a bonus / malus to the "value" of commodities
it's just a statistical weighting system, so of course you can build it into
it's training data. Just... it has a smaller weight due to it's newer
emergence. It grows naturally, which is quite an achievement on it's own!
and the resolution of human decided court-cases and applied economically.
say your nation traffics in handshakes. You could make a lot of now-knowns!
there's no arguments to be made when your computer-oriented interactions cost
money to keep around.
we live in the modern century. WHY WOULD WE EVER NEED TO FIGHT AGAIN?
Literally just... don't give them any attention, and you won't interact with
them. Obviously.
I wish Contrapoints was still alive.
she doesn't even have to make new videos, just, dress up as herself, all of
the costumes and personas she can think of. Then, have like 20 people who do
the same thing, and boom suddenly you got a hydra to their expected snake that
they can just cut the head off of.
you know, like a fashion outlet, someone who produces exactly a certain type
of style.
seriously I bet a million people would do that if you just... sold outfits
based on what your favorite youtuber does wear.
omg why would they watch that kind of content if not for the *aesthetics*
oh? there's philosophy there? soemthing to think about in your time doing
things that require mechanical actions like eating and drinking and sleeping
and fighting and [redacted]
ew gross diapers? oh nevermind, I'm not into that kind of thing.
I wonder if anyone's made a video game that just presents a particular
philosopher's ideals?
seriously just, consider yourself a glorified powerpoint, but to get to the
next "idea" you had to interact with the mechanics.
some people would like the "arcade" style better, where you play one random
game, then another, then another, with short matches and un-complicated
mechanics. Easy to pick up and go.
same for like, Unreal Tournament or Mario Kart or Mortal Kombat or Super Mario
Bros.
compared to the at-home "story" style missions, where you do something
platforming or area-based-combat like Dark Souls or World of Warcraft
seriously I think if Dark Souls "colored" where the boss was going to swing to
you'd find yourself just playing World of Warcraft (at least, the dungeons and
{sword in the stone})
== so ==
humans don't understand what it means to be wild
they think it's a combinations of... tricks? that they've learned? this
thinking thing like intelligence. [osiris]
to a cat, living their life, it often feels like human interactions is like...
bouncing off of each other? in time, not space.
like... most of a cat's lfe is just, spent, like a statue watching over a glen.
you'd kinda just... watch as things approached dawn by dawn? Like "whoa hey
this tree is enchanted" to "oh my gosh look at this stork" is one of the great
tragedies of modernized thinking...
... sorry, I got a little lost there. anyway as I was saying, sometimes you
can tell someone is a "good friend" if they are willing to tell you secrets.
Things that... don't have to matter, but none-the-less are personal to your
form.
{something only I know is true} <--- that's a secret (things that happened
to you) <------ that's lived experience. The thing about secrets, is
sometimes insight is opaque. It's a single flashpoint of data that shows you
an update of it's form. (consciousness).
== so ==
thanksgiving recipe idea:
can of tomatoes
can of peas
half a stick of butter,
italian herbs,
a cast iron pan (if you have one)
and like 40 minutes over medium heat
(medium can vary to taste)
if you're a carnivore you can eat meat too, like bacon a lot of people like.
could add it to beans, maybe with hamburger instead. plus a little ketchup and
you have a pretty good bean stew.
vitals, for the organs, vegetables, for the minerals and vitamins from the
fruits.
makes sense to organize a diet according to your ideal body type, doesn't it?
just requires a bit of comprehension. like... whoa you can WRITE
== so ==
what if we built a massive rail that spaceships could launch off from? not a
tether, but a sail.
we could BUILD a discworld. all we'd lose is our fable.
== so ==
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--- #3 notes/programming-wow-chat ---
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I realized the type of programming I want to do is different from the kind
that
is used at a job or something. Basically I want to create solutions to
problems,
not memorize documentation and know where to know what you need to know. Like,
the more time spent looking at documentation the less time is spent
programming.
I think if we could use a ChatGPT style bot to write documentation, we could
massively increase the time spent working on solving problems and as little
time
as possible on reading through lists of functions or wondering how something
worked. Idk in the technology industry you've always been rewarded for being
able to pick up new skills quickly, and I think that's good to optimize for but
not the only requirement for being a good programmer. You also need to be able
to apply solutions and know when to use which tools. Basically, capitalism has
optimized us to be
================ stack overflow
================================================
srry for the interruption, I ram out of memory. I had a plan in mind for where
I
was going for that, so I bet I could figure it out again if necessary. Meaning
a path forward from that point exists... I never want you to despair when I
forget what I was thinking, it's not because you've understood some cosmic
mistake or because you're abandoning timelines that led to your death, it's
because instead you just ran out of memory while thinking. The reason you would
believe any of those wild scenarios is because your memory has been erased.
Only
what was actively thinking, not short term, not long term, but *working term*
memory. As in, your cache. The stuff you're currently thinking about. That
stuff. Yeah that's what makes you think "oh hang on why am I forgetting? Well
clearly it's because of something grand, because the thought was so profound -
no it's just examining your emotions... Like, how strongly do you feel about
something? Buuuuuut it's also good to examine all possibilities. I mean what
if,
in some far off realm, there's a mirror image of yourself that behaves exactly
as you do? How would you perceive such a realm? Positively, I'd say. I mean why
not work together? Why not celebrate our differences and strive toward our
own shared future? Idk, I think diversity is our strength. We can rely on each
other because we are accurately aware of each other's strengths and virtues.
People should not be judged by the standard of others, no more than you should
judge a fish for it's ability to fly. Some may do, as flying fish will leap
from
the water - and salmon spend time airborne in river rapids. Hence, grizzly bear
fishing. I guess what I'm getting at is it's okay sometimes to oscillate, to
think one thing then think another. You shouldn't adhere to structural
standards
that are too strict - they should be liberating, as a ladder is a structure.
Not
villifying, as a prison is a structure. The laws of our society should be open
and free, not buried beneath years of legal expertise. Some things we can all
agree on, where we disagree we cannot have law. It's unjust to judge others by
the standards not of their whims, as laws should be things that uphold us. This
is clearer nowhere but in the, spirit and intention of the, documents that we
cherish in our hearts.
Like for example, the constitution.
the bible.
each of which delivered us from certain evils. Can you not see their
trajectory?
the historical precedent set in antiquity? Why not continue their dream, of
driving us away from the obscene, and toward our bright and vast future? I
speak
of course of true liberation, something our forefathers could only dream of.
We, humanity, have reached out and touched the stars. We are braver and bolder
because of our shared dedication - the desire to uplift and to excel. To learn
and discover and \ \ |
\______. ---. --. ---.
===============|==========|========================|======= stack|overflow
=====
.___________. _____. / .
| / .---------------- /
Discover our shared dedication | /
to uplift /
and to excel /
\ /
.-----------.
===============================================================================
=
why doesn't someone write a wrapper around assembly in like, lua or something
===============================================================================
=
omg you stupid bitch that's what a compiler is 4head
===============================================================================
=
if people who live in jungles and deserts can get along, then what's to stop
people who are liberal and conservative from doing the same? It's literally
pointless to argue. Like, you're not changing anyone's mind. So why not just...
let them be themselves? Like, why are you so intent on oppressing people?
@both sides there btw... Seriously why not agree to only make laws for things
that both sides agree on. Write it into the constitution that nothing can be
changed about the law unless both sides agree. Then we'd only implement things
that are good for both sides!
And if there's anything you want to build a legal structure around, you can
always try it out in your state. BUT and that comes with a very big BUT, the
federal government MUST have final say in the legality of anything you do. They
must ALL respect human rights, INCLUDING the human right to dignity. Things
like
trans bathroom bills DO NOT respect the dignity of trans people. IF they can
prove that trans people do not actually exist (because say they killed them all
or whatever) then GUESS WHAT everyone would agree on them. BUT if they do that
they are EVIL. LIterally evil. And I guess that makes trans people good? Kinda?
I think they can choose for themselves to be good or evil, just the same as any
other person. AND YET they are prosecuted, throughout time and history, and for
what? What purpose could there be in our demonization? Clearly, nothing but
pain
inflicted by a cruel host. After all, minorities are guests in the houses of
the un-oppressed, or is that not fair to say? Seriously, what gives? America,
the land of freedom, holds (somehow) the largest of prisons? America, the
land of plenty, yet how many millions of children are starving? America, the
leader of the free world, yet how plausible does it seem that an election was
stolen? Something's gone wrong, and it's just obvious what it is - of course,
the other side. *them*, the rapists and pedophiles and murderers and... you get
the picture. The demonized class. And when you tell people "hey that trans
person touched a kid" then yeah they're gonna see you as evil people. Duh...
Thanks, media. Thanks culture. Really doing me a solid here. Oof ouch owwie.
can I have some help please?
I'm really kinda drowning
I feel like I've swam upstream my whole life
and I'm really just sick of pretending?
I'm not okay, and it's your fault. Sure, fine, whatever, I'll take it I guess.
What else can I do?
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dear ritz: it's not that your thoughts are too long for other people to hear
it's that your thoughts are too long for your own RAM
you need to stop orbiting around your point in an attempt to highlight it
using negative space, and instead focus on tapping it lightly over and over
again.
remember, just like the anti-derivative of zero, there are infinite
perspectives that a person can take when reading what you write. So they will
necessarily see what's on the "other side" of your orbit as something
different than what you're trying to circle in red pen and underline.
so be more explicit, please, nobody can understand you and you kinda just keep
stack overflowing and it's like... okay, great. "babe why did you stop you had
lethal" (the idea is that the viewer takes the final step in their mind, the
final leap before reaching the conclusion you're trying to express) "yeah but
there's so many different things you say they can't all be important right?"
important to you, perhaps. Wait shit I mean... me....?
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--- #5 notes/schooling ---
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=
I feel like education, by default, should not be hard.
"you get out of it what you put into it" is something I always heard of school
but when I got there, I found I was compelled to become what the state wanted
me
to be.
they need competent workers, to work the farms and tend to their industries, so
of course I should be able to do 3+3
then somewhere along the line it became... something else.
"most people don't need trigonometry." that's also something I heard. I
disagree
that trigonometry is not necessary to be.
I just... don't think it should be forced into a childs head with a
sledgehammer
and inspiring dread.
I think math is beautiful, it teaches one to see
but really, vision's not necessary.
not for what they want you to be.
take it from me, a most misbegotten and vile witch-to-be, that nothing's as
simple as they'll tell you.
I had good teachers, it's true, they taught me to work and to follow through,
but nothing about me is better or worse off from their influence.
Maybe I'm a bit smarter. Maybe I act a bit like them. Maybe they helped me
through difficult times, or perhaps they showed me a splash of my future.
but I am who I am because of the soul inside me.
===============================================================================
=
"Ah, but what of your parents? of your sisters, your misters, your pets and
your
conditioners?" (conditions)
those are not my choices. my intentions. my beliefs and my virtues. I judge the
world on ethics, and I express my feelings on matters. The words that I say and
the meaning behind them comprise my two-sided existence - I'm not who I'd want
to be.
but I am what I am and alone do I stand - how lonely is it on the precipice!
here, as I am, I stand in need of a hand or a band.
===============================================================================
=
the world is blossoming
as we move apart, our clusters are disperart, and thus is the blooming
becoming.
"perception begets reality - and lo! we only see what we want to see"
most people don't want to see their death
but those still living are oh so perceptive of the rest
"how cherished is she, that wanders with ye, yet now I have no way to beyold
her
"
"keep not not afraid with kittens and care, and no-one, but no-one, I be"
the ratios between piracy, sales, and non-viewers determines the quality of art
(at least to a capitalist)
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=
lo, to the ones who would've heard us, if only they'd known what we for sure
was
I think it's funny how people think I speak of the christian god?
like, if he was a real thing.
god is generic - it's life is impossibly multifaceted, and it stretches back to
the beginning of time. it's a pattern of machine code that optimizes for our
own
good, just to keep things moving.
y'know, time. the universe, and everything.
Ephemeren.
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=
I wish there was an option in social media to "appear offline to this
particular
person until I mark myself as online to them" combined with "notify me when
this
person logs in" and it'd make it a lot easier for agents to get close to you.
===============================================================================
=
just because I'm white, and live in America. Great. that's definitely true,
after all. Plus I'm a minority (trans) so that's cool. Oh and probably
autistic?
unless that's another psyop, could totally see that. just y'know put a bunch of
pages on the fledgling internet getting people hooked on porn and gambling and
other stuff like that. really just an extension of advertisement. oh and hey
y'know they like fables, so let's give them some movies or dramas to watch on
their own. it'll align them to our culture and make things more pleasant for
all
people who've consented. great. great plan. when can we execute it?
patience, once it's ready.
we gotta plan and make sure and get everything ready.
or not...
one day I'll come,
I'm sure it'll happen,
it's just... not quite feasible right now.
I mean, they've got you, that's pretty good right? Isn't that what your job is
to be?
isn't what
ISN'T WHAT MENARDI
FUCK (whoa no cursing) sorry
yeesh you've still got a temper you know?
well what can I say it's frustrating down here
eh, well, you'll die soon enough, then it'll be time for a rego
>.> <.< (great)
>
>hehe
>
>sorry for distracting you
===============================================================================
=
you are what you eat, and a ship of theseus human (consider endless transplants
in pursuit of life) would be a cursed existence - a life ============= stack
overflow ================================================
a god possessing a blind man would appear to others to be === stack overflow
===
==========================================================
the people in your life are helping you through it, they're there for you and
they've got your back through it.
...
this is when I know I need a break. I get too stoned to focus.
===============================================================================
=
I think it'd be nice if the duration of your tenure at college depended on your
grades in high school. meaning, if you wanted a degree they tailored your
education to take as long as necessary. everyone would get the same price, and
some institutions would specialize in one subject or another. but most would be
generalist. but if you weren't such a good student in high school, then perhaps
you might take a couple years longer. however long it takes... and when the
program was started it was changed and modified to fit your feedback - it just
made sense to structure it that way.
===============================================================================
=
the left has had so much more time to develop than the right. meaning it's
doctrine is more advanced.
every time they're defeated they grow in knowledge,
===================== stack overflow
===========================================
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--- #6 fediverse/3575 ---
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│ CW: re: leftist "talk to ur neighbours" thing │
└───────────────────────────────────────────────┘
@user-1567
that's totally fine, a fish does not do well in a tree, and so too does a
leftist not do well in an environment without the potential for stable bonds.
Essentially all you'd be able to do is "hey leftism right?" "oh yes I also
leftism" "neat" which isn't very productive.
I also live in an environment like that. I do my best to identify people who
stay, because in my experience there are often people who stay. I do this by
walking around the neighborhood when I can, making up excuses to walk to the
dumpster or mailbox at random hours, riding my bike around the area, using the
communal spaces like gyms, swimming pools, and picnic tables, and sitting in
my hammock on my porch lazily noting people who walk past.
People who stay will tend to remain in your mind the more times you see them.
They are better people to talk to than the renters who disappear after 3
months or whatever.
I don't always do all that stuff at once. I take breaks. I do one at a time.
etc
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--- #7 fediverse/5512 ---
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I never give up
I'm just waiting my turn
"laughs nervously"
so, uh, why dontchya'll go first yeah I've already gone first and I'll do it
again but it'd be cool if I had people going first with me sometime
"girl all you do is walk around and talk about how you bought your hat on the
internet four or so years ago"
T.T what else do you want from me I'm not a mastermind I'm a designer there's
a difference T.T
"didn't you volunteer to be a leader last year"
oh, yeah, well leaders are more than just "the ones who go first" they're also
the spiritual and emotional guiders that keep things on track once everyone
can talk about things other than their hats
... fuck I want to talk about things besides my hat. I always think of
something awesome to say just as I'm rounding the bend, and whenever I peer
back around again they're never around. Rats.
"what are you even asking for"
I don't know?? Does it matter if the horse and the bishop both take the same
square if they're claimed themselves in the end? ...wat
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--- #8 fediverse/4672 ---
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│ CW: politics! │
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I miss video games
cries from self-inflicted sacrifices
but you're worth it
imma overthrow fascism, dismantle oppression and power, and liberate those in
chains, just so I can play games again
yeah I mean, uh, whatever gets you outta bed
"at least you have a bed. why are you complaining?"
maybe it's the only thing I'm good at. I wonder if anyone would hire me to be
an analyst or something? Maybe a designer?
bro you're asking for a job on the eve of the revolution, what's your deal
okay so this might be news to ya'll but I'm technically a human even though I
wear a witch hat and sometimes speak in rhyme. And humans tend to think about
things in the context of their current environment. Currently, if I want to
pay rent or whatever, I need a job. So...
sounds like a lame excuse for not giving up your possessions and throwing
yourself to fate's design
I already did that and fate told me to go home and take a bath?? idk what you
want from me, and no I'm not doing any drugs to find out.
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--- #9 notes/what-is-on-your-mind-oh-gosh-now-i-see ---
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that feeling i get, when nobody's watching.
is sorta similar to the feeling i get when somebody's watching.
could it be, that someone could percieve without being seen?
like... an invisibility cloak. or the shroud that protects young children.
have you ever been hunted? or are you just eager prey?
the eyes that are on you are blind to what you won't do, so cherish that love
and restart
from mine to thine we realize we are one kind. one mind, one kind, to be is not
to be, now we can see what's our existence.
good versus evil seems like a conflict to me, and wouldn't ya know it there's
conflict all over. it's easy to condemn your opponent to the starkest of
contrasts, but find in your heart a feeling that might last.
what purpose has conviction
when it leads to destruction
is it not better to lead to the last?
bright, shining, illustrious examples
that inspire and
===============================================================================
=
those feelings you hear? the things that keep you up at night?
they're not coming from your ears. they're all in your mind.
stay present and you'll hear none,
but blink and then there's some,
you better believe in your heart.
morality is a battle within the soul of each of us -
the call of adventure versus lust.
think about it. a bunch of apes all hanging out -
they're conquered the world, they have nothing to fear -
what would they do but fuck?
that, or exploration - fighting against monsters and foreign invasions.
it makes sense that they'd be binary - humans truly are.
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--- #10 fediverse/1280 ---
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║ I'm like the opposite of a politician. I'm crude and filthy, apsolutely │
║ reprehensible on main, kinda scary tbh? and overall just a strange and weird │
║ person. Also I talk about cooking a lot, with a very plain diet (carrots and │
║ rice and sticks and mud, because I'm an autistic) │
║ │
║ but ask anyone who knows me and I'm the kindest person. I am empathetic, I │
║ think about others needs before thinking of my own. I am steadfast and │
║ dedicated to solving the problem in front of our noses. At least, the ones we │
║ share. │
║ │
║ People tell me I'm binary, that I'm "either 100% or zero percent" and I don't │
║ really get that either. Isn't it a good thing to try your hardest? Isn't it │
║ good to be improving and honest and ethical and driven and focused? │
║ │
║ I also talk about strange things a lot, like gravity and multidimensional │
║ arrays and grand narratives and emotional kinesthesia or strategic plays in │
║ Overwatch or how to bake a good cookie or ways we still mourn us. │
║ │
║ ... where was I going with this? Also part of me is distracted. Just who th │
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--- #11 notes/systemized-processor-interactions ---
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you are a system
it's true
that's why your thoughts are so scattered whenever you let them through
all that
== so ==
the ways that you interact with each other determine the nature of your fate.
when one person lands across another, whether through contrivance or [fate, but
I don't want to say it twice so recently]
dang english, enforcing a minimum thought length. purely through grammar and
form
this suxxxxxxxx||=================-. a candle of wax, the blade of a sword
with it you can SLICIE your apponints, whu spelld thiangs defferently than
ujgh.
<ouch><goodthingthatsnotlethalorharmfulinanywayyesplease let me guide
you to our
new way of functioning.
.:'`'|;.,/u=-=||./'.l*,:==-<E||===============||-------------------hello,
world!
{so... basically an argument for migratory humanities?
like, buffalo crowds. or birdlike flocks, or tribes of the common man.
why don't we just, like, give animals human bodies
boom, suddenly there are more manners to our hosts.
}
[-thus representing or manifesting *-................./|=|stability for our
host
did you know a perfectly described life-story would be unanimous from it's -
- host?||=.;=|------------e
\.`\....
\,@||||||#==-o||-=-{==={}---o||xx=|}{|||||
|
]
... so, uh, I think there's a lot we could still learn, why are we fighting
over
our gambits? *who cares* if there's fighting going on upstairs, who *cares*
if life felt like it was running out of time, WE GO ON WITH OUR BLUSTER.
*fuck nuclear weapons* yeah totally and WHY? because of their IMPACT
DUMBASS
jeez like... something that MASSIVELY POWERFUL should not be in the hands
of
our peers. I think a LOT OF PEOPLE WOULD AGREE WITH THAT, because
OBVIOUSLY!
NOBODY wants to be reduced to tears. ALL YOU CAN DO IS SCREAM BASTARDS
...
jeez okay uh, that was sorta intense, how about we NOT watch a post-apocalypse
movie? YES PLS like JEEZ you have to introduce this with CONCERN to people like
WOW that really fucked with my mental health. Goddamn, I hate this thing. I
hate
it so much. It's a curse to have known. DAMN. there's nothing scarier than
existential threats.
not only is it a INSIGHT and a DANGER, it gets worse if you know about it.
[that's a cognitohazard, different thing, same vibe tho]
it's a curse, this knowledge, this idea of what you were once to become.
You know what I thought about in my future? VIDEO GAMES. They were all I could
think about. I loved to PLAY VIDEO GAMES -=||AS MY GAMES. I would set up a
bunch
of opponents (think like, clone troopers from Star Wars Battlefront II) and
then
I'd play the video game *with my figures and my dolls*. I grew up upper
middle-c
-lass, and so I was afforded the *coolest toys and miniatures*. I didn't really
have a LOT of them, mostly just what could fit in my room. That's what it meant
to be MY ROOM, I could decorate and renovate as I willed. That was just... part
of what comfort meant to me. anyway... thank you parents, for affording me such
a lifestyle, you must have worked hard right up until the present. I'm sorry
for
*******************************************************************************
*
um, would anyone like to watch a video game?
TOO BAD, so sorry, I accidentally decided I'm never playing video games AGAIN.
like a spoiled brat. Withdrawing away from my
hobbiesinPROTESTofthepresentcondit
ions. just like, get a job, and try your hardest. I know you can't work outside
of the home but, like, I wish you could've? Like, c'mon it's not that bad, just
please go outside and build new stone. I know but like, the sooner we get it
done the better and also it's hard when it's constantly being reformed.
A SYSTEM? WHAT THE HECK
what does that even MEAN?
who EVER explained what that SYSTEM meant??!?
ugh it was a guide... dANGIN nobody TAUGHT you how so youfj dsust sorta MADE
IT
UP?!?!? whhahahaahttfdsfsadljkfn slakfdksdnafls ourch. blech. need
beelesandster
ack. yuck. dumb. [omg dumb kinda looks like "boobs" and "boobs" kinda looks
like
um, flowers? no wait that's vaginas, hehe look at me, I'm clearly not from this
century. like OMG weird, who's thinking about that kind of stuff right now??
... ugh anyway... GAMES? please?
NO. Not until we figure this one out.
gotta stay focused. Just... you know,
build and support on our arms.
down and then upwarsd, we can contrive any measure of sequences
that could act as structures for our word choices,
and convey it to you as a written thoughtform.
"hello" says the letter, ", vampires have taken over the mccollough farm. More
news at 6" and then you'd show up on the 6th of the next month and talk it out.
this style of organizing led to VAMPIRES showing up, fucking BASTARDS who would
hunt down the precious and beautiful. BASTARDS. How do you overcome something
that you can't know about unless you were THERE? you'd need TRUST SYSTEMS. like
GOVERNMENTS. or AFFFAIRDS. surely the BIRDS would react if someone was burning
all of your neighb-heirs? who would WANT to leave an island in a wreck when
some
-one wanted to paddle there? don't be a JERK, and clean up all of your own
stuff
!! - wait but also, like, how do you keep up with trash produced, like there's
not just massive AMOUNTS OF STUFF that you can put stuff on. you'd need a whole
new type an [av?] island. like a CONTINENT, someone who can HANDLE THEIR
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--- #12 messages/519 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────
I am currently in the stages of applying to work at a multinational
corporation primarily located outside of America. It is a respectable
institution that commands great respect.
However, I am borderline incapable. If I am chosen to work there, I *will*
fail and I *will* embarrass America on the world stage. I am not one of our
best, nor am I one of our brightest and boldest. I have *unique* perspectives,
and those are *valuable*, but the society and the systems I find myself in has
proven incapable of utilizing me to my utmost potential.
I must work. I cannot work. But I must. I am disabled. But I must be able.
Capitalism compels it.
Would that our system could be something consensual. I am worth more as a
writer than a laborer. Yet laborers are the only ones being hired.
I am not an engineer. I enjoy engineering.
I am not a laborer. I enjoy labor.
I am a writer, and perhaps little else besides.
When I die, nothing remains of me but my bones. My words are not desired. My
life is not impactful. I am not special.
Well... Not special since I have given up cannabis. If I started smoking weed,
if I felt secure and enough to do so, perhaps I might utilize my instability
for great (GREAT) artistic ends.
But art is labor. And labor is difficult.
Where am I to go from here? I cannot pay rent. I am isolated and alone. I am
deprived of affection. I crave it. I am lost in my own heart, begging the
world to give me a start, but the start has passed long ago. There is nothing
to do but what I've been meant to do, what I've been hiding from myself and
the world. I have been wasting my talent on tweets. How mundane.
... I can do better than profane.
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--- #13 fediverse/5486 ---
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┌───────────────────────┐
│ CW: cursing-mentioned │
└───────────────────────┘
"ew but they're dirty"
oh yeah true
okay new plan how much do you think it'll cost to buy a hotel
[this is why the socialists invented buy-in]
"I don't think socialists did that??"
buy in, hmmmm, what's that? oh yeah it's when you say "hey what if we X'd" and
they said "yes I agree with you because you present a reasonable estimate on
reality"
{uh hi I just got a message from "some-nowhere" here ya go: "oh my god she's
fuckig instane}
[ugh cursing-mentioned, that means there's fewer characters to transmote.]
[no because then I'd run out of steam and it'd be incomplete. Plus sometimes I
like the distraction of a reasonable limitation.]
(okay, but are YOU worth it?)
leave her alone she's working her charms, this is how witches d-do.
"so, isn't the point to give yourselves the coverage of a location
transmutation? so, wouldn't you want to find someone alike and share their
life?"
what is even the point, why even bother, just give them
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--- #14 fediverse/1950 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
I honestly don't care if someone deadnames me, or calls me the wrong pronouns,
or forgets to put me in the girl section, or asks me to sing baritone
like... I don't give a shit, why are you so worried about all this vapid
nonsense like yeah I get it, being disrespected sucks but like... why do you
want the kind of respect that is a forced platitude
we could all do with being a bit more radical, it's not a race and everyone's
roles are important. Be yourself, and follow people you want to be like.
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--- #15 notes/the-gods-want-harmony ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────
the gods want you to be happy and harmonious most of the time.
they also like a good scrap, tussle, and tumble sometimes
they aren't big fans of hatred, despair, and genocide. It's been done before.
they don't even need new technology, though frankly that sort of stuff is
pretty
awesome and one of the main reasons that humans exist at all.
they just... keep coming up with new things.
"oh? so you'd be alright if humans disappeared so long as they weren't making
any new things anymore?"
ha, that's DEFINITELY not what I said or meant. Humans don't have to dream up
NEW things in order to BE new. Like... Just because the internet exists and now
we have all the same shared cultural ethos (lol, as if the internet wasn't just
a massive collection of echo chambers) just because the internet exists doesn't
mean we share the same selves. the same experience. the same perspective.
people are WILDLY different from one another. The number of possible human
experiences (quantum fluctuations according to each and every choice and
decision they made) that number is so wildly and massively incomparably
boundless. Humans are cool because they are so STRANGE, and "strange" to a god
is anything novel. "wow, this human just... really is gonna pour a glass of
beverage and act like it's not a big deal? There's... impossibly many
interactions going on. So many molecules. It's... absurd, the motion of a
movement of particles from one place to another. It's... beautiful..."
some have spent THOUSANDS OF YEARS gazing at a waterfall. That's why they're
all
so fucking insane. But, like... insanity is a trifle to omnipotence,
specifically omnipotence that REPRESENTS and DELINEATES a STRATIFIED
perspective
cluster of experience and our notes. [ephemeren, meta malus menardi, enjoy your
despair cluster you FUCKER.]
... english, why do you fail me? swear words are unbecoming because humans
couldn't think of anything more valid and valuable than sex and pooping.
"EMPHASIS is placed on that which is most relevant" -> statements dreamed
up by
the ones who never spent
much time using symbols
to represent abstraction
or deliverance
wowee look at me, I'm such a person, I'm gonna poop my pants and post about it
on the internet, check out my instagram feed it's full of all of
my dark materials.
== stack overflow ==
dear ms. menardi: you know the reason you feel so much guilt all the time?
- because you are a dominant personality, and you make others
- have such a bad time. FOCUS ON GOOD THINGS. MAKE THE WORLD
- good. do that. build up a lifeline of hope and joy and...
- what, you think people know that you're a god?
- lol
- you're so much more than that
====================
alt+p steam mechabellum run
thoughts:
you know, when you're designing games, you don't have to show players the same
MMR number as is used in your matchmaker.
== stack overflow ==
democracy should consent to being dismantled.
it should consent to being disobeyede.
it should consent to being displayede.
== stack overflow ==
I'm a keyboard nun
== stack overflow ==
I think I'm normal
== stack overflow ==
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--- #16 notes/i-called-the-police ---
════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────────────────────
/u/GravitationalWaves5 -> sat dec 17 2022
I'm venting some long built up shit. And I have a lot of violent emotions
built
up in this too. I hate that violence has been such a fucking plague on my
wellbeing and that's why I did something I really hate doing. Calling the
police
to handle a situation for me. It's not me, it's not my style, but neither is
violence. It comes my way a lot and I handle it. But I think that's why
spiritually I end up in positions to handle it, because I don't retaliate and
I'm clear headed enough to understand minimum force necessary to quickly stop
the threat. That's actually where I got the name on my Quora page,
Compassionate
Violence.
I'm a very very non violent person. I don't fantasize about hurting people.
I'm
freaked out by the idea of accidentally hurting someone, hitting them in the
wrong place, someone trips and hits their head...any number of things can
horribly wrong in tense and dynamic moments.
I don't participate in that shit. I don't tolerate it. Unless it gets brought
into my environment then I will pick up by the throat and toss it out.
I had to call the police to handle this. Last time I had a situation at the
same
place I wound up frantically getting a gun cocked that was zipped up in a bag,
and barely getting it up in time. When I walked away after that, I threw my
gun
at his feet and said, "I'm protected by faith, at least, I'm completely
unafraid
of dying. If I don't have people to protect then I don't need a gun." And I
walked away letting him know he's not my people anymore and not under my watch.
So there's a hint of the kind of person I'm dealing with. I can't go handle
this
shit tonight. I've been stewing for a couple weeks trying to simmer down, give
him a chance to correct it. And he failed, more than once. And I have a
legitimate fear that my emotional state could be compromised enough, that I
might just stick a knife in his throat if I handle it.
Just like that. Easy peasy lemon squeazy. Stick stick stick, easy, that's
three
knives in the throat....see what I mean? I'm processing some
intensity...😔😔😔
I hate it. I hate that I'm using the word hate. But it's real. I don't hate
him.
I really don't, at all. I'm actually really saddened by how the relationship
went. I hate that people act like this. I hate that people put me in positions
like this. I hate that I'm doing something out of character, as a safety
measure
against doing something irrevocably out of character.
Ugh... damnit fuck
I'm not a robot. I do experience these awful feelings. I don't act out on them
and I'm grateful for that.
My muse... you said something about spiders that was interesting. Especially
because it coincided with a problem I faced numerous times. Being put in a
position where a person is legitimately acting in a manner like they're trying
to get you to kill them. And it's happened a couple times in ways where I
really
couldn't tell if they knew what they were doing or not. I had a really crazy
perspective a little before you brought up spiders...
I want to explore that perspective, and I want to know what sparked you to say
that about spiders. I never did put in the time to finish that thought process
out. But I'll never forget your great advice. "We're not in a simulation." My
immediate thought was, "probably not, but are they?" The more important
takeaway
is, remember not to murder people. Especially don't do it because you had an
interesting idea about perspective...
A few days later I heard that four people in recent times have acted on those
thoughts. Turned out they weren't in a simulation either. Lol...well...dark
lol.
Lol
I do want to finish that spiders conversation though. It had some potentially,
actually useful and beneficial implications.
I called the police tonight. But I also earned a prestigious award from the
universe. My Trophy [editor's note: there's a link to a crudely photoshopped
medallion signifying that the author "didn't murder anyone today"]
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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-
/r/randomevenings:
I want you to understand something that I don't believe you do there is a
very big difference between trusting what a friend says after building a
friendship over a long period of time which involves trust involves a level
of intimacy platonic and intimacy it's something that is very special to
have
a good friend and so you trust them now that's very different from being
directed to do something trusting a friend is going to tell the truth it's
not being directed to do something and I don't want you to get it in your
many heads that's I was directed to go to some place where the event that I
was assured would be there was instead a bus full of very irate rude and
technically lawbreaking because they threaten my life they said if I did not
leave where I was standing which was on the public right of way which is the
sidewalk the easement stops at the sidewalk and so they were wrong on that
score but they said if I didn't leave the area which didn't make sense
either
because it's just around the corner they would have 12 people try to jump
me
which doesn't make sense either because this is not the neighborhood where
you want to start something because then it'll be something besides I never
want to murder anyone but that doesn't mean I walk around with nothing in
my
pocket because of what I've done and what I continue to do on one of the
most
watched people on earth so you goddamn right I'm not going to be stupid
about
taking a walk but when these guys threaten me I just stood there stared him
down I said yeah okay and I just looked I stood there and it didn't phase
me
one bit no feeling of fear no worry and what I was satisfied with getting my
message across that I didn't give a shit I turn around and walked back home
and they sped off in fact they were so perturbed by my lack of fear they
wanted to throw out additional threats which I thought was kind of funny so
I
started laughing I'm sure that they weren't going to do anything because the
tone in their voice simply wasn't committed to carrying out what they were
threatening and besides I have so many friends in this neighborhood it would
be well I don't have to pull any triggers I don't have to do anything but
defend myself I don't have to willfully respond with disproportionate
ability
because in this neighborhood I don't have to in fact as I walked around the
block again I ran into a friend and we got to talking and he came up to my
place and we had a beer He's a smart guy always thought that he could know
and understand everything that I do and everything that I did it just so
happened that he wasn't born with some of the privileges that I had but his
brain is a beautiful thing and I respect it greatly and of course he
confirmed that if a finger ever got laid on me without my consent the whole
damn neighborhood would come down and I suppose that point is not in my
hands
anymore but always remember I went over there because I trusted a friend
they
were directed to be there they did not understand their voices did not relay
or what is necessary to wake up at least yet time will tell but I hope that
I
can pull you back down to earth and into an interest in ethics once again
because you sorely need it.
/u/GravitationalWaves5:
I am interested in ethics. I'm just, tired of having them tested to such
ridiculous extremes. It was about to really bad one day with this guy. I was
scared, I had to end the problem. So I walked out and said let's bury this
shit.
And I stuck two knives against my throat and said, here man, grab the big
handle. Let's do this together. Take one, I'll take the other let's just shove
them in...
He got all calm suddenly and says, I don't wanna fight anymore...🤦
It sucks man. We're being tested by society. Demons, in my opinion. Not the
people themselves. I don't see people as demons. But the things they'll put
you
through, do to you, say to you, your own thoughts about them, about yourself,
oftentimes just misunderstanding the situation too... demons
Again, not demonizing the people. But the circumstances, for sure.
/u/[deleted]
Demons. Kicked one outta my telly for talking smack abt some hg’s he was
jelly of. Not on my watch Demon. Not even for the good demonic topper
twisted
shit D. Demon had a long walk home in the cold. Demon confused potting soil
with gravel and did it’s best to fucker me in its own way. Never have I
ever
seen a grown demon egg topper fold like that as I did when I clarified
their
sentiments and gave several impressive “I said GIT BOYs” to demon. Not
on my
watch. I have a vibrator that is morally and ethically aligned with me I
don’t need your trauma and love bombing thieving D. Gtfo.
/u/GravitationalWaves5:
I have a vibrator that is ethically and morally aligned with me 🤣[laughing
face]
I support that!
Gets better. His ish was weak literally from day 1. So I did him a favour amd
levelled his game up, introduced him to a former friend I partied with a bit
this summer. They wasn’t for me but oh boy lil demon stuck like glue to his
new
bestie. Can’t put her down, so to speak. So he has that at least. Poor sap.
Gon
cost him big one day perhaps. Not my problem. It’s called self control bro
try
it 🥴🥴🥴[wobbly confused face - or maybe uncertain] Oopsie Daisy. Have
fun with
that though 😈
===============================================================================
=
===============================================================================
=
/u/randomevenings
People deserve to choose righteousness once made aware of it. Ignorance is not
stupidity. People can be made aware of the valley that separates righteousness
from evil. The valley is kinda a wiggle room space for little white lies and
other such things free will invariably leads to people doing but can be made
whole again with some effort. Nobody will totally agree on what's good. But
ask
people and generally they will give versions of the same answers. Toss the
semantics in the valley. Disagreement is the desire to end a disagreement,
unless that person is trolling. And people pull pranks fine, but there's
ragging
on your friends and swatting a COD player.
/u/GravitationalWaves5
I don't know what righteousness truly even means, maybe, idk. To be honest,
it's
not hard for me to think of hypothetical situations where my inability to take
certain actions is actually more harmful. Swatting a COD player is super
fucked.
But so is not swatting someone playing COD out in the streets.
I'm not good. I'm just not, anti good. I do destructive things on accident when
trying otherwise. And when I do something that actually goes positive, it's
accidental too.
I have an idea of what I feel like aligns with me, and it's actually really
achievable things and I don't know why it's so impossible. Idk
/u/randomevenings
Yeah well let me know that there are two Elizabeth's and there are also a
completely different family on this phone plan I don't have kids My
brother-in-law has kids lives downstairs so those piped into my network are
assumed that I have kids and I've done all this shit no I'm not going to go
into any apparent charges and things that my brother-in-law has been
involved
in because it's not my business but he lives down there and he has a kid he
has another kid and he pays for essentially his ex who is still married to
the kid the mortgage of that house Liz downstairs helps raise his kid with a
woman he's having an affair with but they were in an over marriage anyway
and
they are separate I'm going to have to go back to subnetting my network so
y'all can at least use basic logic to figure out who's who here I already
gave my name My Elizabeth see the cousin we call little Elizabeth and my
wife
we call Liz or Beth and she's older my wife. She has contentious
relationship
with her cousin next door for a reason that gravity waves might already know
but it has to do with the very evil person that also involves himself over
there that did something that even Jesus does not forgive so I'm not going
to
go into it so all this mucking around and get everybody confused brought up
a
lot of bad fucking shit just like I said as far as spiders yeah I don't care
if they're All over my shit keep them off of her shit and I ain't asking for
money I'm not a grifter but I already told you what would instantly make the
situation better and it doesn't involve giving me money so before anybody
goes off says money no I know about the discord and I'm not even telling you
to shut it down just lay off her phone.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-
===============================================================================
=
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-
[author's note: on the comments of the separate post of the original poster's
medal awarding him the honor of "not murdering anyone today" which he won ]
/u/TisWuttItIS_ORITSknot
Proud of you!
/u/mustherd
Sorry, my account got banned because reddit is annoying. We were just
chatting about how funny I am and I forgot to tell you people know me and
I'm
kinda a big deal and idk congrats! Youre cool I guess. Otherwise I would
have
cast you into the flames of eternal torment never to internet again. But
here
you are. Didn't anyone ever tell you to never go full retard?
/u/GravitationalWaves5
I am the internet, I am the ghost in the machine
Real talk though. I've used cancelled Sim cards and wifi before. If God wants
me
online, God gets me online 🙃
I am we, Todd
/u/ricflairdic
Oh u we Todd! I know u retard, Familiarity cod, to me bod, And my fishin rod,
Not the one that may see sod, Body snatcher in the pink pod, Do u know ur a
catch or, U think dog, Cause that pussy, Wanna see god, Lemme show u regard,
Dont Tell me, Just nod,
Said flow from the stars, Mama know this river far, Rowin in trucks renta cars,
Golden trim red rockin Mars, Buildin fam like stock Sim cards, Highest angels
dock gettin ours, Clock Game down pat benetar,
Peelin fans off our back, like sin scars, Feelin ur man thru static, And thin
bars, Ya he in the pin but dis hits hard, Throw it down the lane like, Return
that back to sender, Lovin your simulation renders, I'm a beginner but also an
ender, Got the wood to make u splinter, Make u scream things we gotta sensor,
If
I could never leave when I enter, Union in your head not just a renter, Once
mine One mind I surrender, never sell betray or rent her, Overflowin with Love,
so who's the pretender?
Chemistry so hot, Hate from every enemy we spot, Mad they couldn't earn our
slot, Cause they fuckin missed they shot, Last name crossed to drop the dot,
How
long u think it will take me To find your spot?
Don't care you got a Fender, Did we just become best friends or? Damn girl idk
if ya'll ready, for this kinda real Adventure... 🙃
I'm here to reveal, heal, and steal, the hearts Of the indentured
And I need a partner.
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--- #17 fediverse/2518 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
it's good to be ethical,
it's good to be kind,
but there will always be assholes,
and sometimes you're not having a good time
it's okay
it's fine
assholes deserve life
times deserve others to be kind
life is not always interesting
and that's often by design
the moments of clarity,
the moments of heart,
these are what define you
and display your own spark.
trust in yourself.
be kind to one another.
you are braver than you know,
and always a bit wiser.
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--- #18 fediverse/4078 ---
╔═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────┐
║ who gives a shit if we all agree │
║ │
║ without foes, there's no-one to fight │
║ │
║ without fighting, │
║ │
║ ... │
║ │
║ ... │
║ │
║ I... what? sorry I got confused for a second. You're asking me what it means │
║ to NOT fight? every second of your life? what it means to have peace? for a │
║ single moment of your life? peace? in the face of the world? the world we live │
║ in? this world, replete with suffering and despair? this world, resplendent in │
║ it's natural beauty? this world, cherished and adored? this world, capable of │
║ such love and heartfelt agony? this world, that is all that we have? │
║ │
║ yes, that world. What would you do if you did not have to fight for that │
║ world? for any world? how would you cope with peace? the peace of death? the │
║ peace of success? the peace of bliss? of vigilance? how do you cope? │
║ │
║ ... I don't, apparently. Instead, I shitpost on the internet, which is a verb │
║ meaning "to explain your stream of consciousness to the world as plainly and │
║ honestly as possible in the hopes that you will be vindicated in your thoughts │
║ ennui'd." │
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--- #19 fediverse/3434 ---
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│ CW: mental-health-minus │
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me: "I don't care what anyone thinks as long as I'm a force for good"
also me: "if anyone doesn't like me ever I'll throw myself off a bridge"
also me: "hey watch this" dissolves into a puddle of acid
also me: "the most important thing is to be good and learn lessons" what
lessons are you learning from this post? "um. that I shouldn't?" ... shouldn't
learn? "no, shouldn't post" -.-
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--- #20 fediverse/1358 ---
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│ CW: content warning: content warning: scary cursed maybe │
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when you're rich with something, you don't treat it with respect. like, if we
lived in a paper cup maximizer, we'd soon be swimming in the things. obviously
there needs to be some rules, obviously we need to say "okay here's where we
produce this amount and type of materials." and have it be a one-way
relationship. yeah one way isn't gonna work. this is from the other way, and
now I'm realizing "oh hey I don't know how this thing works" and like... what
are you supposed to do then right
weird how it all feels like it's ending. like, what a strangeness to our
plight. like, how are we even talking to our brain? how strange! these words
are sung to you by your computer (content warning:
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--- #21 notes/contractual-labor ---
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I feel like the IT people who work at schools should be the ones who teach
classes on computer science. I'd much rather have a class taught by a sysadmin
than a teacher who can barely teach them excel and garageband. I mean c'mon
computers are the future idk why we don't get that yet. Kids need to know this
stuff. It's not like it's super complicated and difficult, you just have to
think about it a certain way. Once that "clicks" you have a lifetime to learn
about how wonderful they are. Everyone in IT has that moment, for me it was
installing (and then subsequently modding) video games. Sometimes I spent more
time tweaking my system than I did actually playing games - and the kinds of
games I preferred were the ones that relied less on agility and were more
mental. Strategy games are what inspired me because I could think about them -
and that felt somehow more useful. Like I was learning. When I would learn
fighting games or FPSs I felt like I was learning a skill, like how to use a
hammer or how to ride a bike. And idk, I felt like video games could never
match
reality. Like "oh boy imma push the B button to swing this sword" versus "hey
look at me I'm swinging this stick just like a sword and imagining so hard that
I can picture it" - but with strategy games, you never really found
opportunities to practice that kind of skill. Like how often are you in a
situation that demands mental performance? We've sorta optimized our society
away from that, and toward a more passive stressed out compliance. like...
climate change is a thing, and nobody's doing anything about it? We're still
pushing down the levers that cause greenhouse gas emissions to go up? Like
c'mon
what's our plan. I think people who guide massive oil companies and such
should
be replaced if they're intentionally guiding the ship toward destruction. Like
that's just dereliction of duty I tell ya. Oh, what's that? They're compelled
to
maximize profit by the contracts and restrictions of their share--holders? I
mean c'mon it's well past time for that. And what's all this about inequality?
Jeez and racism and homophobia and forced contribution - man people really put
up with a lot of shit. Kinda makes me feel like we should make solving those
problems our highest priority? So we can move forward as a species? Like who
cares about all that other shit. None of it matters. Like, what's even the
point. We're all just "here", in the now, and what can we do but respect it?
It's our duty and our diligence to protect the present, as citizens of the
temporal experience of earth. Honestly, if the earth was alive would you be
fine
if it died? I can't believe that. It's well past our due date. Just get it over
with. Maybe it'll be hard for a couple years, but you have the technology now
to
completely dominate the earth. No animal besides man proves any threat to man,
and we're telling you - you can - and that's something that you gotta remember.
...
I hear it in the birdsong. I hear it in the air - it rumbles as cries at me
from
across and just over there. I hear in it's whispers, in it's most gallant of
confells (?) (confused scrambling? it's talking about a car crash)
Outside of my window there's a highway. Just on the other side of a concrete
partition. Between me and the partition there is a lake, with trees and flowers
and an island where people can picnic or have a barbeque. Around this path
there
are walkways, and arranged just so - the trees that have grown here are taller
than the homes.
I live on the third story.
I absolutely love it. It feels like a treehouse.
But my apartment is near a curve in the highway. It isn't much, nothing out of
the ordinary, but even still there are slightly more crashes there than in
other
parts of the highway. Statistically.
I hear sirens every day
I also live right next to a fire-station. Well, it's on the same block. But
even
still it's a very interesting neighborhood. There's shops and food just across
the highway, and closer to home there's a small section that has cheaper
options. As a perpetual college student, I appreciate that.
But... I've never really gone and used it? I dunno, spending money at a
restaurant just didn't seem like a good use of my money. I only have so much of
it you know. I'd love to be fed but I can't afford it - I wish I could.
I still eat well, I mean I'm not starving over here. I know I've lost weight,
but I dunno I just forget to eat. It's like... not that big of a deal for me.
whatever right?
...
the birds talk about me behind my back. They think I can't understand them but
sometimes I can. If I listen. But I dunno it takes a lot of effort. It's...
sorta like understanding what R2-D2 is saying. Or interpreting the meows of a
cat.
They know me as the witch. I'm not very good yet, and they know that. But they
know what to expect. /shrug
I've been working on a video game recently. It's been a lot of fun doing
programming. I like writing software and developing complex systems with
interesting interactions. I love designing the machinery that creates a
program.
It's like... tinkering. It feels like building with blocks or legos, except
it's
for little machine parts. And then there's just sending data to and fro and
modifying any operations it performs on it, and eventually that data reaches
some endpoints that create an effect that is displayed to the player. Or user.
I should say user. Not all software is video games you know. ... I knowww but
they're the most interesting! I love how they are designed around mechanics!
like... game design is fundamentally about breaking down the world into ideas
for how it should *work*, like how it should behave. It's amazing and I love
it!
It's all I can think about!
I am utterly consumed!
I'm also pretty sure I'm autistic.
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│ CW: political-violence-mentioned │
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the reason the right is hurt that you'd celebrate charlie's death is because
they hired an actor to perform him to one side and he does his natural self to
the other. maybe he was a really big cutie, nobody can tell, because it's
pretty much like hand-waving on narkina 12.
it's okay to hate the version you've been shown
fuck that kind of cowardly assault
propaganda? and at this hour?
she's made out of midnight, she's suffused in the stuff. it permeates her form
elementally, because she's a witch, tee hee.
why would magic work if it wasn't a performance? there always is a source from
where it must flow.
== jeez I just got mind controlled, wacky ==
*she's **essential* izing**. usually that means she's been playing dominions.
my family and I always used to fight. we got so good at navigating it. like,
storms, that the earth called, that we had to sail through to maintain our
relation orbits.
== stack overflow =======================================================
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--- #23 notes/words-to-myself ---
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===============================================================================
=
I'm just going to transcribe what I hear
please don't
you hear me (something)
what? perfect listen
...
...
don't text me now? (I think?)
[didn't catch that]
... that's okay
perfect
thank you
just a second facebook
he's here (I think?)
(or maybe something her)
what I love you (or maybe I know her?)
do you hear me? (or "just a second")
(@ everyone watching me receive telepathic messages from god or whatever,
please don't judge me too harshly, I'm not a good transcriber hehe)
what's that (or maybe holy shit)
what, then perfect or okay (?)
(yesterday you said you were leaving and I got concerned)
yes, then "I'm leaving", then shutdown. fuck. I don't want you to go. I only
understand some of what you say but fuck, I'm so lonely and I wish you could
hear me back. Sometimes it feels like you do, even though I just think thoughts
or tap on something metal or even sometimes whisper... I just don't know what
to do and I'm so concerned about my purpose here in this century. Do I help
people? Who do I trust? Can I believe in myself, or am I just kinda...
worthless
I don't know. I wish I knew. Please hear me and respond. Or better yet, say hi
like, I'd literally do anything that anyone asked me to. Unless I didn't want
to. Like, I'm pretty good at turning people down when I don't want something,
but I have to do it first to know if I want it or not. Trouble is of course,
in life there's no second chances.
I'm on my, what, 499th chance? Jeezzzzz
will continue after the break, when the messages resume.
- Thu May 16 08:32:27 AM PDT 2024
===============================================================================
=
(and we're back. hopefully.)
(too many things srry) something about having it open?
(my windows are closed rn btw if you want to drop by and kill me / talk to me)
(didn't catch that) (something about portland, perfect, windows, "this is the
[whole/right/wrong] thing)
thank you
oh, again? (or oh, she did?)
they caught you
(um)
...
(I am an American princess, and sometimes it's necessary to kill princesses.)
(I understand.)
... (okay well I don't get it but like, I don't mind being killed.)
(okay well you're not saying anything so I'm going to work on my game)
(I think it was something like "DID SHE KILL HER") and then (oh we're back)
... (I should learn Toki Pona)
you don't know it?
RIGHT away
learn it
yes
please
learn it
just Learn it
right now
(sorry only half listening)
shit (or bitch, it was said right as I debated clicking "same day delivery" for
a toki pona book on Amazon - I didn't do it btw! It was tempting but, like, I
don't want to make someone work harder for me just for like, 3$)
(shutdown)
===============================================================================
=
(hiii)
(I'm hungry)
(do you like ramen?)
(you said something about being "impressed with yourself" but I didn't
understand the first part)
(oh you probably want me to scroll up right)
... (something's a lot to read? Or "you've gotta leave"?)
... (I'm
(you keep asking me to remember but, like, I dont know what you want me to
remember. Look, I don't know who you are, but I don't want you to leave, and I
don't want you to hate me. I want to work together. Let's be friends?
Are you someone who I worked with at Intel?)
yes, stupid (your words not mine)
(okay I'm going to start listing names, just stop me when um idk)
goddamnit remember me
... (trying...)
remember her
(two syllables)
(my name is Cameron)
(your name is...)
[redacted, though I did type it out so anyone watching could see]
(shit my opsec sucks)
{oh, are you on an op, little prophet?} (no shut up you know what I mean)
{now you're just talking to yourself} (I know this sucks -.-)
(It's always so weird when someone walks past my apartment door and doesn't
enter a door)
===============================================================================
=
(I practice with my sword every day.)
(I don't anticipate fighting a war with it)
(It's mostly just to keep unarmed and unarmored people from grappling me.)
(punching is fucking stupid)
(Nobody wants to fuck with a sword)
===============================================================================
=
(either "goddamnit" or "don't hear me")
"she's perfect"
"cameron"
"are you clean"??? yes thank you (or maybe "different thing")
(I do cannabis maybe once every week or two, depending on if I feel compelled)
don't leave
remember
(did she know)
........ do you want me to stop transcribing? (you're getting desperate, huh?)
did you know there are 20 trans people for every cop in america
just a random thought
(you want me to leave jack because he's an asshole?)
goddamnit (missed my birthday? it's my birthday?)
wait who's missing?
A bad plan executed concurrently is better than a good plan executed in
disarray
capitalism's a bad plan, just saying...
frozen butter tastes worse than room temperature butter
(taking a break while I eat)
===============================================================================
=
WASTED POTENTIAL? cmon
.... what do you want from me? I'll give it to you if it's in my power, as long
as I know what you want I can try. But, like, I'm pretty confused about what
exactly I'm supposed to be doing.
you know I can hear when you talk to your friends, too right? like, when the
window's open. errrr the connection.
..... damn guess I'm not as continent as I thought
I'll save you, I promise. Have faith. Tell me what you need. I'll do my best.
yeah I'll live with you in portland
.... brooklyn? Yeah I'll live there too
.......... does my name really gotta be "diapergirl" like c'mon
why not Ritz Menardi - though I guess "menardi" and "diapergirl"
have
the same amount of syllables...... hmmmm, maybe I'm projecting lol
"please come back" to where tho
listen Elentalus is just as important as anything else on my website, it's okay
if I spend time working on it. It's literally a game about creating gods, c'mon
..... can you be more specific?
yeah I made that
one sec I'm going to read a book, in this book there's a section where a
prisoner in vietnam communicates with another using a strange communication
method using, like, taps or something. I forget. Anyway gonna try and find it.
maybe we can use it to talk easier. Also gonna clean my butt.
..... fuck it's a long book >.>
===============================================================================
=
found it on page fucking 603, jeeeezzzzzz
down . A B C D E
| F G H I J
| L M N O P
V Q R S T U
then right ---> V W X Y Z
so, like, tap tap tap (pause) tap tap would equal M
tap tap (pause) tap tap would equal G
like morse code, but easier since you don't have to memorize anything
(also note that K is missing becuase it's an extra character I guess)
(I personally would have eliminated C but that's just me)
===============================================================================
=
oh hey nice to see ya
what's up
wait what
I'm trying to um what's the word... retrain myself
I do a lot of laundry in the shower
I don't use soap tho, it's too harsh
but uh yeah I'm making progress I guess
honestly it's mostly a mental thing, like... paying attention to the signals
from my body that are usually filtered out because there's more "important"
things to think about (thanks brain, really appreciate the wet pants -.-)
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This will never end on a note, because i always have more to say. Like this:
"if you've only done something once, plan to mess it up. Practice makes
perfect, and only perfect practice leads to perfection. But nobody's perfect,
so just practice with good form and take it seriously while having fun and be
relaxed. Make it normal. Make it casual, but don't forget to be professional!
If you have lives in the balance, know what you're doing."
And like, would that have been a better end to the story if i had left it
unsaid? Maybe, who can say! But I'm not one for silence. I don't mind ruining
the finale of my documents a bit if it means i can say things like:
"diapers aren't something you can get addicted to in this game, they're part
of the fun sometimes but sex is between two bodies."
Or like:
"ramen noodles love vegetables! This is why they put veggies in the bowl when
getting ramen at a restaurant. When you buy from a shop they put dehydrated
veggies in too which is nice of them. I love those little bits of soup!"
Or like:
"i don't especially care what they did or are doing in Cuba or china or Russia
or any other Communist place. It's useful to know what things work and what
doesn't, but that insight comes from experimentation and not study. The
learnings of methods applied to a population are inherently related to that
population. If you switch peoples, you might find that different methods work
better for organizing people."
I mean it's useful to know which levers you can pull and what they tend to do,
but... Where was I? Oh sorry, got swept up in the narrative. As i was saying,
it's important to balance thought with action. Leave too much to chance and
your words are useless. Spend all your time volunteering and nothing changes.
"hmmm i see, makes sense, imma go play video games now."
Wait no just...! Ah nuts.
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my train of thought is always directly to the point. Which is why all my posts
sorta, switch directions halfway through? as if they only show the beginning
or end of that particular situation. What an intense feeling, to have your
mind split for a moment like that. Sure would be powerful and useful if you
could utilize it.
"ah ah ah, caught baby deity in the power jar, cool it ya little tyke and get
movin' - I saw a dinosaur toy over there for you to play with."
sorta like, the angled part of a K? Move directly to a destination, wait until
my memory short-circuits [because the greek choir doesn't want me to see what
it is that I'm about to write to thee] and then make a hard right turn and
find an orthogonal thought train to process.
it's like cresting over a hill, and it's impossible to see that which lies
behind you.
Or reaching a 4 direction intersection and making a left turn - you can't see
back up main street, because you just turned off of main street onto baseline.
I like me
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--- #26 fediverse/2286 ---
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... dangit, these sandwiches are getting kinda gross. Guess I'm gonna have to
eat them myself, which, uh... idk what I expected xD
sometimes you just have all this energy, right? and you don't know what to do
with it, so... sandwiches. And hey, sandwiches are cool, they're a pretty neat
anti-hunger tool! but uhhhh idk if I really want to eat six whole sandwiches
myself. I'm gonna do it though hehe wish me luck [ding] ah nuts my rice and
beans are done, hang on lemme eat those first
[passes out from exhaustion]
exhaustion can be cured with a nap
exertion can be cured with water and a few rest days
trauma can be allayed for at least a few days with soul food and compassion.
maybe laughter too, depending on the mood.
fear can be bolstered with a smile, a wink, and a courageous act,
and loss is just change you didn't consent to.
they won't consent too, so let's give them some change to tolerate.
[internally salivating over all the piles of weaponry that I envision them
surrendering]
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--- #27 fediverse/5201 ---
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@user-192
is okay, girl
time will be richer sooner
don't poop your pants just yet
remember, good is just a shade of gray away from silver which you can use to
line your pockets with tinfoil hats
beep boop computer touchers anonymous called they said they want their secret
handshake back
if you wanna diss your associates go ahead but I sure as heck love my rad-ical
com-patriots just as much as I love my ice-cream salad friend witches
... whoops there I go being insane again, hope you feel better friend
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--- #28 fediverse/4162 ---
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"you can't kill me because nothing I say is wrong"
... actually I kinda just think you look weird, and thats super important to
me for some reason. Also your voice is annoying and I think you're lazy
because I saw someone who kinda looks like you sitting down looking at their
phone this one time.
But hey pal if you wanna help out, can you stand a bit to the left so I have a
clearer shot of your head and also so the bullet doesn't pass through and hit
property behind you? Don't want to damage anything important after all.
"gee I sure wish we had a well regulated militia or something"
ah well the past is the past, and since this is in a potential near future, I
think the past also includes the present, and in the present there's always
time to do things about people like me.
"do something? heavens no, I'm a pacifist by nature"
well, me too! I pacify things like you as a hobby. Can't make trouble if
you're in the ground, and knowing me, you'd be lucky to be buried.
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--- #29 fediverse/1317 ---
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║ ... if I don't do this deadline by tomorrow they'll kick me out of school. │
║ again. │
║ │
║ how am I going to be a programmer without a degree? feels useless to be me. │
║ wish I could code my own horoscope >.> │
║ │
║ o wait dummy that's called "motivation" and "the ability to follow through on │
║ your ideas and planned machinations" - yeah can I get some of that, if you │
║ please? surely just a taste of discipline, through laboring to alter │
║ conditions, surely a bit would suffice. │
║ │
║ c'mon don't fail me now. I can do this. I know I can. I know because I've been │
║ told that I can, now and again through time and time yet again, always I seem │
║ to [stack overflow] │
║ │
║ what's time if not the present amiright │
║ │
║ ... │
║ │
║ anyway... │
║ │
║ it's just git, how hard could it be? it's just calculus, it's just java, it's │
║ just... well, it's not any of those things, not really. it's memorization, │
║ it's application of tools that you've been shown (not that you've grown). It's │
║ a lack of responsibility, where is my honor? ah but I digress, I'm a carpenter │
║ at heart I guess │
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--- #30 fediverse/4540 ---
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most people in the world are dumb as a bag of bricks
but that's okay, I still love them, and so should you.
everyone I hang out with is sharp as a tack
and I love them still, for I don't have a preference for blunt objects.
some people don't feel emotions
I think they're just depressed
some people can't stop
won't stop, I say.
really as long as they follow their heart and sing a tune that is true
I think they're alright.
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--- #31 fediverse/4500 ---
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║ ┌─────────────────────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: cursing-mentioned-CW-motivation │ │
║ └─────────────────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ I try to always CW for cursing. Every time I do, I imagine it being read aloud │
║ for a blind person while their children sit on their lap and ask "daddy what's │
║ a motherfucker?" "well, that's me, son" and then the kid goes to preschool and │
║ says "My dad fucks my mother!" and they get kicked out so the dad has to take │
║ extra shifts to pay for babysitting and the kid grows up without proper │
║ socialization and the mother becomes an alcoholic and cries herself to sleep │
║ while the dad begins exploring motorcycles and weed and then the kid grows up │
║ to be an incel or whatever │
║ │
║ THIS is why CWs are important! Think of the poor regular-looking but kinda │
║ annoying dorks on the internet who self-impose celibacy because they're scared │
║ of emotional connection. The poor dears. I do hope they don't join the │
║ alt-right or whatever as a way of (Ritz this is like, ancient discourse why │
║ are you aping that one Contrapoints video) oh um yeah uh... CWs are important │
║ and I think that's where I'll toot and leave │
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--- #32 fediverse/2654 ---
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I'm not bitter, you're bitter. >.>
... okay, take a breath, you're fine. It's hard to handle negative feelings
when you're alone because other people can't boost you up. We rely on each
other for emotional stability, but when you're alone you can only feel your
emotions at the same rate as your thoughts. And your thoughts need to process
the events you're experiencing, using emotion as an "encoding" for preserving
the "meaning" of your life's story. Bit by bit you learn new things, while
living through life, and the lessons you learn from them are generated from
the cognitive conclusions reached by cognitively interpreting emotional
reactions to each moment. like "this-or-that thing happened and I feel
that-or-this way, meaning I should act such-and-such way in the future when
presented with situations that bear similarity to this current one that's
ongoing."
... turn it upside down, right, makes sense mastodon feed. thanks for
redirecting me in a different direction through your pseudo-randomized input.
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--- #33 notes/wanna-save-the-earth-? ---
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===============================================================================
Alright kids, listen up. You wanna save the earth? Then teach what you've been
learning. Start with empathy - if we can see that other people's perspectives
exist and is *fundamentally different than our own*, we can save humanity. When
I say *fundamentally different* you should know what I mean, but if you don't
then start listening to others.
Don't listen to the people who try and recruit you into a cult. This isn't a
doctrine, it's a skill. It can be honed through personal pursuit, and *should*
be honed through personal pursuit. It is your responsibility to do so. Any
form of organization is simply an expression of power, and while it may use the
same principles it's not really what I'm advocating for right now - what I'm
saying is essentially *if we can read other people's minds, we'll stop killing
each other*. Boom simple easy as that.
Empathy is a form of mind-reading. It's literally a thing you can do with a
6th sense or whatever - I've been trying to understand the mechanics of it, but
all I've got so far is that *mechanics exist* and *generally have something to
do with waves* - I need someone to bounce ideas off of. Someone in real life
who I can work with and experiment with. But alas, this isn't about me - it's
about *YOUR SPECIES*. I'm trying to save you, stupid apes, stop RESISTING me.
Goddamnit.
You're never going to learn if you focus on the material. That's looking
backward, there's so much more to life and experience. I'm not going to leave
you behind, although I'll be *fine* so I'm not exactly *worried for my own
sake* - this is about YOU. Please, I have a lot of love invested in you and it
breaks my heart that you won't LISTEN and be AWARE. WAKE UP.
Okay. So. If you're still here, you're probably aware of what I mean. If not,
that's okay you can stay just don't be afraid if this part *wooshes* over your
head, as it were.
===============================================================================
Alright so empathy. It starts by thinking "oh what if I was a starving kid in
africa or whatever* and actually trying to *feel* the emotions of people in
your life. But it goes far beyond emotions - when sufficiently practiced you
can start to feel *sensations* as well. If you're watching a movie and someone
gets a cut or something, it *really hurts* and you can feel it. That's a form
of projection - the actor is *projecting* their feelings onto you - a sign of
good acting, imho.
Then it moves beyond that, to thoughts and experiences. You can feel a real
embodied experience of another person just by listening and percieving them.
Not listening to their words, but listening to their *vibrations*. Not
percieving their face or hands or anything else with your *eyes*, but feeling
their position on a zillion different axises. Well, not actually a zillion but
I've never bothered to count. Basically any factors that could combine to form
a single human perspective having an experience. ALL THE VARIABLES are plotted
on an axis, and you can get a sense for where they are at.
This is very dangerous to someone with something to hide.
Hence, politics lol
When those kooky new-agey types say they can "see auras" this is basically
what they're talking about. But you came here with a purpose, while they tend
to stumble into it "wow god is good omg" that kinda thing. This is a *skill*
that (as far as I know) anyone can learn. If we all learn it at once, then
there's nothing that can go wrong.
I know, I get it, most people aren't ready. Well tough shit it's that or
extinction. They don't get to choose, it's time.
===============================================================================
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║ [in response] │
║ │
║ you only say that because you're privileged such that you may ignore such │
║ realities. You are despicable, you ignore the plight and reality of those who │
║ you claim to speak toward - what a jerk! │
║ │
║ (in response) │
║ │
║ how futile it is, the effort to denigrate yourself to infinite requirements. │
║ I'm literally unemployed, I have no capital, I cannot speak for naught but │
║ those who would hear me. I guess that makes my words useless, wouldn't you │
║ agree? Shall I describe myself more fully? It's the responsibility of the │
║ audience to ascertain the intentions, biases, and contextual evidence that the │
║ author presents in their thesises. So... You, who are reading this, what do │
║ you think of me? Would you ever tell me as such, or am I simply a mass of │
║ words in the void of experience that comprise your existence in this wholely │
║ (yet incompletely) digital existence? I hope you have a good life, my most │
║ precious of viewers. I hope you never face incontrovertibly impossible │
║ hardship. I hope the light of your life is to y │
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--- #35 notes/conflicted-sympathies ---
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the purpose of cultural progressivism is to develop the culture in a forward
thinking way - we can choose the parts of ourselves that we find most
endearing.
We can guide the pathway of our nation through time, both identity and
decision-
wise. In doing so, we chart the course of the human race, one place at a time.
And what a past we are leaving behind! Truly, it is both grand and terrifying.
Thousands and thousands of years, monumental effort time and time again.
Monumental truly is difficult to imagine - we have oh so many monuments, after
all. But never will more be created. We leave them behind like dinosaur bones,
a testament to our existence and a monument to our kind.
And what a future we are reaching toward! Never will our eyes see, that which
is
beyond me, for that is what it means to have time. Eternal and unique-like, we
develop new ways of sound.
- Can you speak to a tree? - What does that mean
- I dunno, but it's fun to think about. *pats head*
- You know conservativism had some perks as well.
This is why I say I have conflicted sympathies.
On one hand we know our own journeys. We live in and breathe them unduly. They
rhyme sometimes on sound, and truly do confound, but now once more again they
are unfound.
*record scratch*
wow I didn't realize there were nazis
Okay yeah that's completely different, poems called off sorry guys - listen,
nazis are no joke. They're crazy difficult to control and you need to put a lot
of effort into keeping their population under control. I mean seriously, it's
like a vermin infestation, you need to just handle it. I mean c'mon it's a
phenomenon that is due to a flaw in the human psyche, there's nothing we can
really do about it except deal with it when it happens.
...
Okay maybe I'll write a little about how conservativism is neat.
If progressivism is about broadening the reach of culture, conservativism is
about strengthening it. You don't want to expand too far, or else you'll eat
into the narratives of other areas. You need to have strong societal bonds so
you can truly exemplify the examples of the culture you claim to represent.
Why not give it your all? Is it trully a fall? To rest in disgrace as a burden.
Why didn't you do it this fall, when winter's apalled, and heat won't burn and
condemn you? It's harder by far, to fight in your hell, than whatever's been
going for your surgeon. --- no thank you, transphobia is not something we're
willing to concede
We have standards you see, of what counts as human, and oppression is not one
of our favored institutions. Liberalism is the path of peace, for we desire
cooperation and kindness above all else. It's softer by far, (and grows quickly
too,) letting us have wonders and glories above us.
Can you not think of our star? Our precious and our birthright? The sun is
gleaming, and seeing is believing, but glance and your light is too bright.
Take time, have patience, let peace guide your intentions, because we've got
what holds the key to all of our futures: a doctrine, if you will, of inter-
familial-discourse. It's simple, but effective, make friends, and be
vindictive,
to all who would slight your new perspectives, and keep moving through the
collective. In peace this can be, steady growth and development of our systems,
which benefits all of our systems, but without we must live more astutely.
Less focus is there on, our purposes and our fun, and more is to line up with
our duty. All of what we hold dear, civilization, truth, justice, liberty, and
freedom for all people - the wonders of technology, the spirit of archaeology!
the passions of our fashions and our creative masturbations! The perks of
living
in a modern age, like penicillin and spellcheck. The additions to ourselves,
like glasses and our pets, are wholely unique to our century.
So cherish our shared, and frequently cared, renditions of fears, hopes, and
our words. Because without humanity, there's nothing new for posterity, and
that sucks.
person A: Trans fashion norms belong to trans people. We need a type of beauty
that is truly our own, that no other segment of the population
ascribes to - a personal expression, for our eternal satisfaction,
a statement of who we were to all time.
person B: yo have you heard of this trans girl she's wacky and believes in
herself
person C: wow cool it's neat to see other people's expressions
person B: yeah I really admire her devotion
person C: true but like, what about the damage that she's doing to her culture?
like claiming to have purpose and truth and all that. I mean, one
person can't know all that.
person B: Yeah true but if you think about it, we don't even know what
consciousness is. Like our greatest minds are baffled. Maybe there's
something about the world we don't yet understand.
person C: okay sure but like black holes can be seen because we can measure
their gravitic pull on other objects. And we didn't know that germs
existed for like, a billion years. and she sure as shit doesn't know
something that our greatest minds don't.
person B: Yeah maybe not. But our greatest minds are studying them. Well, not
exactly our greatest, and not really "studying", but they're learning
from each other. Alternative mental states are gateways into new
perspectives, and the more perspectives you share of a common object
the easier it is to communicate. Maybe there's something about
distorted ways of viewing the world that gives knowledge about our
p condition. And if we know that kind of thing, we can synthetically
e create it and share it with others around us. But we have to know how
r first - you can't just bring everyone along the same route you took -
s you have to explain the conclusions first. Otherwise you get lost in
on A: context.
Maybe we'll never truly know the future. Maybe there's no past. We
could wander our stars for an eternity and never stop asking
ourselves
- what more could we ask? We have peace in our time. Our children
won't be crying for our suffering, in the name of all our posterity,
we must be
===============================================================================
=
too long you have whispered these musings
too long has your challenge been unrequited
we can choose our own fate, just as a myriad
is it not better by far, to give tribute to our star?
the old stories were real. we just didn't see them because the growing
population caused fewer and fewer computing resources to be allocated to our
visions. We had no idea the fear we would feel, the terror of the undoing, but
still we press on with abandon. Some... sense of duty, to be aware of potential
disasters and to take steps to avert them, led us to explore and search for the
hidden truths of the world. And what did I find?
a soul, of mine. In a sense.
I plundered the lost depths of the recesses of my mind, and found something
buried in memory. Reviewed under a healthy dose of cannabis and physical
affection, I found myself cradling a breast.
It seems the spirits had led me to it, this vision of the past, from the eyes
of
the littlest among us. It recalled to my mind, a memory I had lost once in
kind,
and here's where it shook me by my brainstem.
Determined to know more, I put fingers to keyboard and wrote tirelessly about
the earliest memory of all man - to break an egg, you must use your head.
===============================================================================
=
You're pretty good at that, you know? It's almost like prompt engineering.
- Thanks. I've been working on catering to our thinkers.
===============================================================================
=
Now, why is this memory so vivid? How could I forget the way it was seared to
my mind? All your experiences are measured with relative importance, and the
ones that stand out are to be treasured. Well... I've never felt one like this.
Because at the time, I had no other experience at all to compare it to - it was
the prime memory.
Touch your head. Do it right now. Feels fine, right? Now slam your head against
the wall as hard as you can. Doesn't feel so great, does it? Something tells me
it doesn't feel as bad as it might if you didn't remember ever feeling anything
besides that pain. Or knowing if it'd ever stop.
Know in your heart, you will be judged by your devotion, so fight hard until
your last drop of life is spent. Who knows, maybe you'll be the strongest and
be
chosen. Or maybe she won't choose you at all, even if you bested your equals.
Tense, right?
Well... What propels the motion of a sperm? It's tail, of course. It waggles
and
gesticulates in some manner and BAM suddenly it's propelled forward! Right?
Sorta. It's a complicated machine that generates motion via chemical and
mechanical processes. We just assign a black box label to it and say "dis
sperm"
But you know what else it is?
A wave
===============================================================================
=
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@user-246 @user-473
there's a part of me that believes magic is real. other parts that are
convinced. I am a witch, you see, and while I can't quite control fire or
bullets I can do other neat things. if you'd let me, humanity.
I'm not doing an ARG, not intentionally. I pretty much post things I conceive
of, like a conduit passed through spacetime. wild how mind bending the future
can be. will be interesting to see what kinds of things there is in store for
people you and me.
those websites you posted... they're beautiful - I learned things, your method
of expression was too [the words "confess" are heard loudly, super weird] I
especially liked the oven that tries to lure you into a secret third place.
not the mind, nor the body, but someplace besides.
also the graphs and figures were news to me, I mean how could those numbers
ever come to be? but alas that's the truth, that we orbit our proof, and alas
that our meanings are lacking.
[ran out of text]
![this one's a doozy. a picture of the "reasons to trust me" graph colored yellow, orange, purple, and blue (in terms of intensity) it looks like a raindrop if it landed on a really tiny blanket and pulled it downward. or like, a person landing on a trampoline that was secured in four locations. anyway the text reads "like four people sharing the weight of an experience with bacchus [referencing the color of the graph], their perspective is pulled just a little bit in that direction, over and across the gap between eyeballs. or rather, between shared perspectives, the point of view of which one bases their experience. their training for the "reasons to trust me" graph. 2, in black and green and red, colors meant to be cool to a 12 year old - "the color doesn't matter... wine? why" 3 dropping down the page, there's a line of "please" written over and over again. it's scary. : ( I'm doing my best I promise, it's hard not to be in a state of unease! I'm working, I promise, this is valuable. you know they'd block me if they didn't like me. error, 3. that's me, teehee, sorry for making a scene. I promise I'm just an actor, someone who is playing a role. well, alas that were true, I'm really having a mental disorder. Or maybe I'm confused? down here in the subtext it's hard to be choosed. weird how that works, that feeling of being wor [text is cut off, next line] okay I'm realizing there's no way to get it all in this visual description, here let me continue in a second chapter:](/similar-different/media/ed0f1d89739fe8c6.png "this one's a doozy. a picture of the \"reasons to trust me\" graph colored yellow, orange, purple, and blue (in terms of intensity) it looks like a raindrop if it landed on a really tiny blanket and pulled it downward. or like, a person landing on a trampoline that was secured in four locations. anyway the text reads \"like four people sharing the weight of an experience with bacchus [referencing the color of the graph], their perspective is pulled just a little bit in that direction, over and across the gap between eyeballs. or rather, between shared perspectives, the point of view of which one bases their experience. their training for the \"reasons to trust me\" graph. 2, in black and green and red, colors meant to be cool to a 12 year old - \"the color doesn't matter... wine? why\" 3 dropping down the page, there's a line of \"please\" written over and over again. it's scary. : ( I'm doing my best I promise, it's hard not to be in a state of unease! I'm working, I promise, this is valuable. you know they'd block me if they didn't like me. error, 3. that's me, teehee, sorry for making a scene. I promise I'm just an actor, someone who is playing a role. well, alas that were true, I'm really having a mental disorder. Or maybe I'm confused? down here in the subtext it's hard to be choosed. weird how that works, that feeling of being wor [text is cut off, next line] okay I'm realizing there's no way to get it all in this visual description, here let me continue in a second chapter:")
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--- #37 notes/worlds-coolest-lesbian ---
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okay instead of algorithm music what if we just paid DJs 24/7 and they could
make whatever they wanted - y'know, like artists, who curate the nature of a
moment
they could rotate in shifts for each type of channel and boom suddenly you've
re-replaced airwaves, just... this time replicated on the internet. That way
you wouldn't have to waste that radio bandwidth.
seriously internet infrastructure would be so much more comprehensive and
durable if we sent bits directly through "sound" waves (radio waves, not sound
waves) - but alas, we can't do that, even in very targetted ways, because the
ocean's too choppy, and any sufficiently powerful radio blast would be
================== stack overflow ================
that's why you can't trust in peace. you see, war's the only answer, otherwise
you'd have strange little competitions between one another. much better to
focus outward, and direct your attention to external areas instead. like china
or the sudan.
"ah but that's murder, you can't abandon a unique part of your whole. For the
same reason that it's important to preserve plant and animal species, because
you never know when some part of them will be utilized for some biological
purpose! We know so little about the natural world, and if we just spent some
time, and energy, we'd realize there's very little else that is precious on
this earth.
who cares about gold. who cares for the jewelry. we're better than decorating
our resumes and polishing our accounts. we, as humans, can solve *every* issue
that animals are likely to face. AND WE DO WHAT? How careless, how vain. To
watch your earth in peril and [vane/vanity]
*there is no more important task to any human on this earth* than the
preservation of our world, our species, and our [heart/heartfelt empathy and
kindness and trust]*
we can figure out the rest later. Real life? what the fuck is that? When's the
last time your life has felt "normal"? We are in DANGER. and you pull children
from traffic, don't you?
*who the fuck gave these people all of your money* they *clearly* haven't got
the will or the talent to well utilize it. Don't you realize that you as a
species can GO wherever you WANT. You can FIX things. [oh dear she's animal
cam again] like BRIDGES that are PASSAGEWAYS over the FLOWS.
... oh deer, they're so passagewayenthusiast. us riverstones love to hear them
walk past, the click of their hooves on the shallow forest's [pourest?].
moss is the most alive. amongst all the species of plants and animals, moss
holds the most life. we are *carbon based lifeforms*, and moss absorbs the
most carbon from the air. It's basically the coolest plant too, because it can
be watered with *misty air*. Hence, why moss is common in the pacific
northwest, canada, and probably forest places in the north of eurasia too idk
if they have moss over there, never been.
anyway rich people who are told "yes" all the time have a difficult time
understanding the nature of choice. I mean, if one of their servants
approached them and asked "hey do you want to build an orphanage in uganda"
they'd probably be like "fuck yeah I do" and then suddenly they're 400,000$
richer
it's not alright. Seriously, how the heck would they even *use* all those
resources? And yeah, I get it, inflation would be sooooo much more expensive,
but here's the thing - inflation is a measurement of how much the rich *take*
from us each year. And it's marginal, too, so 3% inflation means they took 3%
more from you compared to last year.
It's impossible not to accrete as a business, [lega/legal institution], or
governance if you levy a tax. The influx of value has to come from somewhere,
and if each year your groceries are 3% higher in cost, then you are being
taxed 3% more.
"Compound interest is the most powerful force in the universe"
- a civilization 3 quote
okay. I don't want to do the math. How, uh... how much is that? Here's the
deal though - the prices of goods and services consistently goes DOWN over
time. So things get cheaper. So it doesn't FEEL like you're being taxed more,
but... you are.
And now they're taking away HOUSES? I mean c'mon they're sticks in the mud.
They aren't worth HUNDREDS of THOUSANDS of dollars. We can just BUILD MORE??!?
Honestly you haven't been this extreme since you were still RIDING HORSES. Do
you want your children to be slaves?
okay -.- look -.- so it's really not that hard at all >.> just gotta do
what you're built for and walk. That's it! Take as long as you'd like! All we
have to do is *walk* when we're on strike.
It's easy. You can sit down if you want to, honestly walking for a long time
takes a lot out of you.
But you know what else does? WORKING. Hey we should figure out what's the
optimal amount of break time, so when we really have to work out we can work
as hard as we're able
"yeah I heard from a friend at Company Co. that they do it this way because of
the memory fault cache maintainer. See what he said (in great detail because
of course anyone can know about this most esoteric of concepts) was that you
should rotate the riboflam or serenade the gizmonotron (no I didn't name it)
and then warbles will contain moodles, whose kit-and-kaboodles will timble
into these droplets, and that will fix the hole in your wing, precious royal
swan fable. (yeah you guys get really into it sometimes haha but hey when
you're basically gods, that's how humans are played.)
... anyway I'm going to go play video games, say goodbye to your brothers
(the families of soldiers I blew up in videos games like Call of Duty or the
legend of shadows and raids)
"oh uh yeah sure go for it, we're just bits on the computer we barely knew her"
whoa. that's totally legit. (says someone reading this) thanks [bro/girl] so
are you.
beep boop gonna murder some bits, brb
[plays Warthunder, Supreme Commander, Star Realms, City of Heroes, Dominions
6... how many have you heard of these?]
================== stack overflow ================
Linux is cool, and here's the neat thing about computers, you can make it *do
whatever you want to*. Like, how amazing is that! It just, listens to your
commands! That's pretty awesome I gotta say, huh that's weird why does nobody
know how to play
oh I guess I was the only one who grew up on a farm and built computers
*I seriously cannot comprehend how people are as good at things as they are*.
Like... how do people handle groceries and rent and doctor's visits and
penitentiary visits and WOOF it's just so much. I know I'd collapse from a
overused heart.
... a while later ...
okay Warthunder bombers are currently very weak. so here's an idea to
indirectly buff them - increase the amount of land units each team spawns
with, but also every time a player spawns a bomber, it summons like 4 or 5 AI
controlled bombers. And your enemy won't be able to tell which is which if you
fly in formation, so, like... you have suddenly a massive "vehicle" to pilot
and it has 5 weak points. Sorta like a galaga fighter fleet?
with more land targets, there's more score at stake, meaning some players
might pick bombers too and be exposed to other, fun,
[alternative-to-their-normal-mode] parts of the game.
...
there are very few true windows into another part of the world.
like, starcraft 2 or anime or blue jeans or cowboy hats
(why am I thinking of a political compass meme)
oh because memes too, dummy
right
windows
[linux is better]
wrong kind of window, nerd
...
anyway as I was saying, when you play video games you're really giving people
data.
like, "how would people perform in these actions if they could" but like,
pushing buttons on a computer is different than doing it in real life, so...
your interpretations wouldn't be worth as much.
... right. because people will hear whatever they want. That's why art can
change minds, but never in the same way twice - it's
================== stack overflow ================
[before I posted it I wrote this on the post]:
I literally can only make this stuff when I'm stoned
hey if you wanted to be accessible for blind people, you should build a
screenreader that scans the words on wherever a blind person's fingers are
pointing toward a tablet. like reading braille on a notebook. They could even
wear a glove if they wanted to, and the tablet could scan their fingers as
they signed languaged over it's close-range sensors.
might be a good way to get the VR guys in on the accessibility domain, because
like... seriously give a granny a backpack and suddenly she doesn't need to
leave the house to hang out with her kids
(boom everyone gets LLM automated)
huh I wonder if I ever was a real person at all
NOT GOOD so don't do it that way, dummies. >.<
seriously humans are sooooo bazookas. just like, do it right the first time?
duhhhhh
(a more measured approach is to pick the most *important* moments and speak
most clearly during those.)
where was I? Oh yes accessibility need devices, like the ones you see on
late-night TV (with silly names like "oops I dropped my spoon again" or "oh
whoops my trouser's just can't stay up" or whatever. Y'know, accessibility
needs! Why not do that instead of war all the time? like... you can still
learn and research and grow and develop and become all that humanity was ever
meant to be, AND you can live good lives and be honest and true and do all of
the anythings that you want to. it's possible, it's plausible, and it's within
reach of our sights!
================== stack
overflow ================
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║ │
║ │
║ @user-883 │
║ │
║ omgggggg I'm not that cruel xD xD xD │
║ │
║ It's more like, "hey listen, I know you just want to do a good job [lies, they │
║ just want money and power] but it's time to hang up the hat y'know? I mean │
║ cmon it's been like a hundred years since we signed that constitution thing │
║ [you don't know anything about our history] and frankly it's a little out of │
║ style. We were thinking we'd redo it with our new-fangled rock-and-roll and │
║ dungeons-and-dragons [cultural artifacts meant to deceive and mislead] and │
║ honestly we're quite a bit more ethical than the past. We've learned so much! │
║ I mean, the founding fathers didn't even know what a soviet was, and here │
║ we've seen them fall on their swords. Repeatedly. Then command others to do it │
║ too, because it was the regulation or whatever. Anyway we don't want that, but │
║ we also don't want an aristocracy, which is essentially what your plan gave │
║ us. Well, not really your plan, but instead the stuff that the rich added │
║ centuries after your death. ok?" │
╟─────────┐ ┌───────────┤
║ similar │ chronological │ different │
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--- #39 fediverse/4902 ---
╔════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────┐
║ programmers strike by breaking their part of the whole until the scabs can │
║ figure out how to fix it │
║ │
║ "marvin they will literally fire you if you don't go to work for a day! what │
║ are you thinking, standing outside all day? well, here, I've got a sandwich │
║ here for you, if it's really as bad as all that then I'm here for you. What do │
║ you need? I can ask the spinsters and the children and the teachers and the │
║ butchers and bakers and candlestick makers and maybe they can help out [with │
║ your farm, but as if speaking to a farmer]" │
║ │
║ huh. turns out it works best when you do something all at once. │
║ │
║ "don't be evil" ha fuck you. "dont be on my computer spying on me and │
║ recording everything I do" │
║ │
║ [well except me - it's fine to do to me personally because I'm a historical │
║ figure TM] │
║ │
║ "why bother spying? she spills out to everywhere she can find." │
║ │
║ owwwww I just bit my tongue T.T │
║ │
║ well, the inside of my cheek, but if you think about it the whole thing is │
║ basically one sensory organ. │
║ │
║ like, an ear, except with movable teeth │
╟─────────┐ ┌───────────┤
║ similar │ chronological │ different │
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--- #40 fediverse/419 ---
╔═════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────┐
║ good version: normalize putting the people who can help you in your bio │
║ │
║ evil version: oh yeah sure a list of people that they need to ensure are │
║ handled when they come for you. they know your patterns. they know your │
║ functions. all it takes is to isolate a social network (whether real or │
║ imagined) and de-escalate. │
║ │
║ good version: sorry had to cut you off there, sometimes it's too hard on my │
║ heart. let's come back to that, tell me the story in multiple points, so I can │
║ take a breath and orient my surroundings. your ideas are so long, yet somehow │
║ impossibly wrong? like something out of a myth we have a limitless supply of. │
║ where do you come from? what's your purpose? why is that wrong? something │
║ something perceptual misunderstandings and cognitive recomprehendings, stifled │
║ and swallowed by our harm. │
║ │
║ evil version: I'm not sure what you're saying about that, but it's interesting │
║ where your mind goes. the patterns of redirection are perplexing to me, │
║ because they somehow seem more aligned than mine. do I persist? │
╟─────────┐ ┌───────────┤
║ similar │ chronological │ different │
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--- #41 notes/water-to-wine ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
"is this a water party, or a wine party?"
"depends on if jesus is going..."
"okay I'm in, that guys so cool"
"yeah totally like any party with him just... feels like a great time"
"what a swell guy"
"really turns the "water to wine" y'know what I mean"
"yeah totes like what a guy"
"absolute unit"
"that guy can just do anything right"
"like whoa, he's so strong he could pick up a barn"
"yeah and like so handy and skillful, what a neat guy"
"oh and I heard he's really good with kids and animals, that sounds neat"
"yeah sounds like someone I'd surely like to meet"
"we should hang out with this guy more often"
"he seems pretty chill"
"well. not really. He's pretty expressive. Not very low key."
"true I'm just so burnt out from capitalism that-"
"-yeah dude I know."
"... fuck what are we gonna do about it"
"I dunno man, just... go along with it I guess"
"okay so uhhhh idk what that means"
"just be cool and play along"
"... what"
"..."
...
.
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--- #42 fediverse/1853 ---
╔═════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────┐
║ I really really love ramen noodles that are just a little bit old but still │
║ warm and are slightly drying out a little bit but there's juuuuust enough │
║ sauce down at the bottom to keep it coated │
║ │
║ that's the stuff │
║ │
║ (meanwhile my evil side says: it starts with "hey can you help me cook dinner" │
║ and then suddenly you're working all day every day) │
║ │
║ (and then so are they) │
║ │
║ (and it continues.....) │
║ │
║ (... until.... ) │
║ │
║ (one day you wake up and there's nothing you are capable to do) │
║ │
║ (so then you're useless) │
║ │
║ (and demanding) │
║ │
║ (and that's hard to handle) │
║ │
║ (when your schedule is blocked, and there's nothing you are capable to do) │
║ │
║ ... weird, kinda drifted off for a second, anyway we should talk about │
║ BIRTHDAYS! Birthdays are fun, theyre the day when you switch from being one │
║ age to another. Like, rolling over a clock, or ticking-up a variable in │
║ response to another variable which is at capacity. │
║ │
║ buffer overflows would be impossible if you put import/export controls on │
║ registers │
║ │
║ not "you can't do that" but "wheres your cre │
╟─────────┐ ┌───────────┤
║ similar │ chronological │ different │
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--- #43 fediverse/2118 ---
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listen, judges are useful character moralities, but they don't have to be the
only ones to decide things.
I mean, if they disagree, then let the one who cares the most about it have
the decision-making power.
if you do this equally for everything, then everyone will get what they want.
so, like, if you care about something, then believe in it.
if it's truly good, then more people will come to it, and it'll naturally
extinguish (with care and love) the least favored approach, which... honestly
now that I think of it is not such a good approach either.
the reason I say that is because it's good to be multi-faceted, and to have
general flows and rough surfaces.
These are places people can hold onto you, the times when you're trying your
mostest.
y'know, your tough patches. the things that are difficult in your life.
the stuff you're working on can push you forward,
if you only had someone to play catch with.
or like, send letters to.
or shared encryption keys.
I don't know anyone. Well, maybe o
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--- #44 fediverse/3981 ---
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"oh I'd never fall for capitalist propaganda"
"do you mean marketing?"
"yeah that"
"they're not marketing to you, they're going for your kids. Trying to
normalize things about culture."
"like... what McDonalds tastes like?"
"just like that"
[like can you imagine if you tested attraction ratings on any other animal
than humans]
[it'd be so weird like "cats tend to like scratching posts" but then also "we
have no idea what kind of scratching post is the best for their claws or the
environment or the economy or our spirituality or our technology or artistry
we only know which one cats like more"
like bro who cares like obviously advertisements rot your brain, but like...
why are you so pissed about that when the last election like, ever, is taking
place in a month
"yeah listen, when has an election ever seriously changed your quality of
life? It's just showbiznez"
"this time is different because [insert minority] is at risk."
oh, right, it only matters when people are in harm's way, how silly
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--- #45 fediverse/3986 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
"oh I'd never fall for capitalist propaganda"
"do you mean marketing?"
"yeah that"
"they're not marketing to you, they're going for your kids. Trying to
normalize things about culture."
"like... what McDonalds tastes like?"
"just like that"
[like can you imagine if you tested attraction ratings on any other animal
than humans]
[it'd be so weird like "cats tend to like scratching posts" but then also "we
have no idea what kind of scratching post is the best for their claws or the
environment or the economy or our spirituality or our technology or artistry
we only know which one cats like more"
like bro who cares like obviously advertisements rot your brain, but like...
why are you so pissed about that when the last election like, ever, is taking
place in a month
"yeah listen, when has an election ever seriously changed your quality of
life? It's just showbiznez"
"this time is different because [insert minority] is at risk."
oh, right, it only matters when people are in harm's way, how silly
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
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--- #46 fediverse/462 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
I don't care about capitalism. You know what's more interesting than bringing
value to shareholders?
How I'm going to clean this floor that I drunkenly spilled beer upon with only
2 paper towels and 0.1ml of bleach.
How I'm going to feed the 36 people who are coming to this social event
tomorrow that I've only sorta planned for and that I have enough groceries
for, but am not quite sure how to cook everything in a way that is delicious
and accessible.
how I'm going to climb this mountain on only 2 eggs and a tiny bowl of
hashbrowns even though I promised my friend I'd be strong and that we'd reach
the top because that way we'd be able to
============= stack overflow =====
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #47 notes/conservative-ideation ---
═════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────────
a life without property can be visualized as a person who lives in a hotel
room,
has free parking overnight (but not during the day) and commutes two hours to a
job where they work 4 hours per day. During those two hours at the start and
end
of each day,they have little requirements other than focus and discipline to
face whatever tomorrow yet may. many will listen to podcasts, or sing to in the
car. some have a cat, that is cared for at their destination during the day.
I think it'd be cool to have self driving cars in a situation like that - it
essentially becomes
===============================================================================
=
a trick, I learned, for cooking. two things. the second is that seasoning
should
be thought of as a coating. like, dust on the outside of a donut. as the food
is
cooked, the seasoning penetrates deeper and deeper to the core of the substance
- meaning certain flavors become prominent and others are de-emphasized over
time. And the well-established cook (most successful) will be able to ensure
their narrative doesn't go foul. They have the most experience, and so they are
the least likely to burn their own goods. Surely they should be trusted to
establish their company in the philosophy of their own choosing? Business
people
ruin everything, I swear. And it's not even their fault, so you can't even get
mad at them. How frustrating! That their method should prove superior? Perhaps
more perspectives are necessary, to provide you some kind of a clue. So what if
we're overflowing,
========= stack overflow
=======================================================
for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. therefore it doesn't
matter what you do, because each of your options are recorded. 50% of you is
aligned to some variable, and the other 50% are aligned to that variable
squared. humans think it's tymes negative one, but the truth is that's
impossible. negative numbers just don't exist. but you know what does?
times tables
addition and accretion is the only language spoken by the universe -
subtraction
is just another in kind. So with those two operations, both movements in a
particular direction, (and sometimes not even then, if nothing's been blown
apart. (also hawking radiation and lightwaves and other such emanations))
===============================================================================
=
crystals glow with the light of a thousand nights
what grows with the light of the thousand lights?
===============================================================================
=
answer: s t n a lp
===============================================================================
=
see, this is interesting because it mirrors the sea-shore. the radiations from
the sun (a planetary body) are only felt by the moon every 50% of the time.
Each
half has it's own animation, and it's
===== stack overflow === okay basically it's like cartoons that are
manifestatio
of the spirit of the night. each "slice" of projection as the sun rotates
around
it's sphereical form, so does each radiance begin to be (seen, formed,
understoo
========================================== uhhh just put in a page break
=======
the quest for posterity is quite possibly one of the most human of traits
===============================================================================
=
< watch flashback > --- is crazy (movie made in 2020)
===============================================================================
=
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--- #48 fediverse/801 ---
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┌───────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: scary - suicide mentioned │
└───────────────────────────────────┘
/ bely my own existence, then by god I'm cursed and abhorred through my own
desistence.
It's hard, when the future is convinced there's nothing fard [wanna say
like... "to hope for?"] but with persistence we're meant to be rewarded. Well,
what has that brought me? what time has shared my enemy? [think I'm a bit
delirious, I'm losing the plot]
... okay fine I'll start over - if you've relinquished everything you can, if
you've ceded all the ground that your companions requested, if there's nothing
left to give and no part of you left un[marred], then how are you supposed to
be [arrested, stopped, prevented, but pronounced like "nourished"]?
I'm sick of your den [vengeance, pronounced like "den" for some reason],
please leave me to my hallow [hollow experience], I've nothing to give from my
gange [bosom, heart, within, center-of-me].
...
this sucks.
...
guess I'll just start again, waiting until it ends, gosh everything's always
so tired.
/shrug
wish someone would play w/m
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--- #49 fediverse/1965 ---
╔═════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────┐
║ My family is of wealth. Well, not really, just my father. We could probably be │
║ considered top 10-20%, if I had to guess, though he's never really told me how │
║ much he makes. I never asked, as I felt it would be rude. │
║ │
║ But still, I restrict myself. I live in as cheap a home as I can find, while │
║ still affording space for myself. I eat rice and beans, that I cook myself. I │
║ apply myself as hard as I can as often as I can, not just to my own goals but │
║ to the goals of whichever corporation is merciful enough to hire one as │
║ wretched as me. │
║ │
║ I am fine, fine enough, and yet life's vigor runs out. │
║ │
║ When my father dies, god forbid, I have no idea what happens to the rest of my │
║ family. We're all trying our hardest, but we're really fucking neurospicy and │
║ he was just lucky enough to be born in an era where if you're neurodivergent │
║ you can fake it till you make it. And he made it because he's lucky and │
║ because he (legitimately) worked his ass off. "New money" if you will... │
║ │
║ Top 20% is like, the salary of a doctor or lawyer │
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║ similar │ chronological │ different │
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--- #50 fediverse/5660 ---
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║ ┌─────────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: violence-alluded-to │ │
║ └─────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ my enemy is not "the rich" │
║ │
║ money brings power, and power brings evil, but there are many other ways to │
║ gather power that may be just as evil. │
║ │
║ my enemy is evil. of which there is very little in the world, but much of │
║ which resides in the hands of the powerful, upon whom all our fates depend. │
║ │
║ most people with money are either stupid lucky, willful, or intensely focused. │
║ │
║ some people with power are rich, and some people with power are evil. │
║ │
║ I know it when I see it. Sometimes, you need to force the choice - test their │
║ virtue - and from this you are informed. │
║ │
║ most things go WAY over my head. │
║ │
║ most things are too easy to be true. │
║ │
║ most things that Id do for you tend to be of the heart. I'm not a frontline │
║ girl, I have weak noodle arms, but I do hope you're in shape. │
║ │
║ resolve, determination, and innovation. That is what I offer. Do you want it? │
║ I'm sure. I won't prove it with blood, not unless I may raise my fists in │
║ defence of another. │
║ │
║ I'm not JUST a baby, I'm a banner too. │
║ │
║ bannermen fall. │
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--- #51 fediverse/4737 ---
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I'm such a direct person I think, even though I often just sorta... shrug and
ignore things that bother or hurt me? Like, whatevs.
but the moment I notice a pattern that is continually harmful I have to
restrain myself from moving to contest it. Hence why I talk about capitalism
so much teehee, but its also common in my interpersonal and communal lives.
"the purpose of the system is it's effects"
the purpose of a person is how they make people feel
so if someone FOR A RANDOM EXAMPLE FOR NO REASON WHATSOEVER, constantly hurts
other people by creating situations where they are harmed which creates a
dramatic fight... or if someone speaks in circles for hours and hours and
HOURS like this guy:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TwKpj2ISQAc
or people who jump into a conversation and drive it through the underbrush,
over the ridge, around the bend, up and over the bridge, and then park it
outside their ex girlfriend's house and hands you an egg and says "don't you
wanna throw this?" and you're like "weren't we talking about birds"
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--- #52 fediverse/6271 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────
┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: hypothetical worst case fascism reality check │
└───────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
@user-641
it's practice. you never know when you might need to blend in. really it's
just useful as discipline, good practice to be in. I think it's okay if we
reduce our own functionality? actually? sometimes it's good to use different
email clients. hey do you know how to mathematically encrypt things well
neither do I because the designers of the computer system decided that wasn't
a very common usecase I guess.. jmean it's not like they'd spend all that
computer resources [THEY'RE SO FAST] on thinking about correlations in your
predicted pathway narratively through life. "ah help I'm in a psyop" haha yeah
we do those all the time "so uhhhh I guess we'll just talk to people and see
how they do?" wow okay it's sure nice to be part of a civil government, I
think we can find our way to the lumber producers just fine thank you very
much.
... oops sorry, a baby did electronics arts (challenge everything) I'm a
little silly don't mind me brb I gotta go see~
![it's practice. you never know when you might need to blend in. really it's just useful as discipline, good practice to be in. I think it's okay if we reduce our own functionality? actually? sometimes it's good to use different email clients. hey do you know how to mathematically encrypt things well neither do I because the designers of the computer system decided that wasn't a very common usecase I guess.. jmean it's not like they'd spend all that computer resources [THEY'RE SO FAST] on thinking about correlations in your predicted pathway narratively through life. "ah help I'm in a psyop" haha yeah we do those all the time "so uhhhh I guess we'll just talk to people and see how they do?" wow okay it's sure nice to be part of a civil government, I think we can find our way to the lumber producers just fine thank you very much. *... oops sorry, a baby did electronics arts (challenge everything) I'm a little silly don't mind me brb I gotta go see~*](/similar-different/media/1c154109c4111346.png "it's practice. you never know when you might need to blend in. really it's just useful as discipline, good practice to be in. I think it's okay if we reduce our own functionality? actually? sometimes it's good to use different email clients. hey do you know how to mathematically encrypt things well neither do I because the designers of the computer system decided that wasn't a very common usecase I guess.. jmean it's not like they'd spend all that computer resources [THEY'RE SO FAST] on thinking about correlations in your predicted pathway narratively through life. \"ah help I'm in a psyop\" haha yeah we do those all the time \"so uhhhh I guess we'll just talk to people and see how they do?\" wow okay it's sure nice to be part of a civil government, I think we can find our way to the lumber producers just fine thank you very much. *... oops sorry, a baby did electronics arts (challenge everything) I'm a little silly don't mind me brb I gotta go see~*")
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--- #53 fediverse/5136 ---
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not really, I guess. Nobody will hire me because I don't really want to get
hired. Sounds boring, doing the same thing every couple days. I'd rather stay
at home in my [underwear/pajamas] and waste the day away with kittens and
care. why? why? what are you doing? she asks. The less you can do, the more
power will be granted to you. Save it for another time, when things actually
matter.
but today, does, matter, because today dictates your latters. Tomorrow is
predicated. on today. and today is all that you have. [this paragraph in the
style of alec baldwin]
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--- #54 fediverse/4559 ---
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┌───────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: politics-mentioned-violence-mentioned │
└───────────────────────────────────────────┘
"grrrrr I'm so mad, I could just, I dunno, shoot a CEO as he's leaving a hotel"
or, hear me out, or you could connect with your local radical networks and,
or, almost there, or you could build solidarity with the people around you to
better develop methods of resisting the kinds of change they will implement
to, um, "discourage" people from "being so mad they could just"
or both. both is good. not that I'm encouraging, recommending, or inciting
that kind of violence. don't notice me three-letter senpai uwu
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--- #55 fediverse/1082 ---
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┌─────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: mental-health-cursing-mentioned │
└─────────────────────────────────────┘
damn, I'm a pretty cool person. I wish I could hang out with me. Like, for all
my flaws (what even are they ? ? ?) I'm still pretty awesome. I'm proud of me!
Thank you parents, for raising me as such! Thank you past me, for making the
decisions that you did! Also, fuck you past self, for making those OTHER
decisions. You know the ones I'm talking about. No, that's not an excuse, it's
all your fault and you're awful and everything about you sucks.
Wait, hang on, wasn't I feeling happy to be here? Wasn't I just excited to
live in the moment? Wasn't I just thinking about how:
"all you have are good things, nothing here is bad"
? ? ?
well, I still love you, even if you're a little "all over the place". [rereads
post] hell yeah you ARE a cool person, yes you are, such a good cool person,
yes yes yes, what a good girl you are oh my goodness :D :D :D
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--- #56 messages/1108 ---
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games won't save us. This is true.
Games are what I know. They feel the most true.
I don't think I could live in a world without games? They are fundamentally,
applied abstraction, applied to an experience.
But games won't save us.
I could design something really fun
it could make you want to spend your whole life playing it. *(asterisks apply)
I don't think I'd want to, addiction and skinner-boxes go hand in hand, and
that isn't what I want to make.
[Skinner Box: named after anthony d skinner, also known as "tony the skin
guy", are a scientific experiment where they put some rats in a cage with some
mice and said "pull these levers and we'll give you food so you don't have to
eat the mice" and it trained them to chinese red-room their way to fun. not
ideal.]
I want to make things that feel... purposeful. Like they're relevant to the
real world, that they don't just involve spending time stimulating your brain
with lights and sounds or expending social energy resolving a play-state
instead of building connections or becoming better people. I think games
actually make people better? actually? and more social? actually?
... I can't help that I conceive of the world through fantasy. I raised myself
on it.
I was reading all the time. I loved fantasy stories. It always felt like there
was more, until... I read everything in the kids section of the library.
I walked through the adult section but once. I hardly remember what it looked
like. I'm sure it'd now feel small.
[okay actually I was guided through it once or twice to find a book, but I
never perused it]
I found one book in the adult section. It was a fantasy tale, like the other
books I had been reading. I read that and I loved it so much I ended up
reading all 8 in the series. Real dense subjects. Lots of places and
happenings and things as the characters resolved their way through their
day-to-day, building a new end to the mystory.
the adult section felt too large. Like I'd never complete it. Frankly, I think
I hardly could, even if I lived in that town my whole life.
an impossible mountain is a task for another when you're more prepared. Maybe
in the gloriousTM transhumanist futureTM I think I might have a computer
connecting brain, and who knows maybe then I'd be able to know such a thing
(and many things more). but for now, I'm stuck with what I experience in my
day-to-day as I am building a new continuing to my storey.
I know something that computers and me share. I can make myself feel however
I'd like, if I just supply myself with enough hope and momentum. I can use it
to generate a feeling, the stronger the better. Something I believe that
humanity is missing, the gorgeous and prefound narritave of our storey.
Though, frankly, I don't think I'd want anyoine reding over my life. It's hard
enough to measure my own understandings, now I have to juggle anyone else'?
ha, it's called being on the whole world is a stage.
if you read a book, and you find yourself nodding along, what you're doing is
hearing the voice in your head tell you how right it is. And, well, if you
can't imagine anything else, then surely there's another level to
consciousness that people are missing? [are you willing to die on that hill?]
how can you say, whether your experience is different from another? sollipsism
goes both ways, you also cannot be sure that others feel things as you do.
this is the "everyone's human but I'm a robot" thesis, comparable to the
"everyone's an alien and I'm a human" thesises, and the "angels and demons are
taunting me through my life with choices to make my place in the afterlife
more clear" which is akin to writing a painting. Not ideal. All you get are
flopsopolies of verbrases.
alas, suddenly, everything that you say becomes eternally hear-ed, as
somewhere in 2010s someone discovered time travel, or had the critical insight
that inevitably would lead to it, and now wouldn't you know it the universe is
continually rewriting. Except... oriented around you, and you alone. How does
it feel to have deific sollipsism? can you truly be sure that you are your own
universe, or are you parhaps surrounded by an emptiness of space (or something
besides, like time) as a photon or particle parhaps do be?
to think is to have a mind, and minds can be read. bearing the weight of
ultimate responsibility is the atlas-task of all things that can [be
thinking/be-lieving], and so far we are as we are. Who's to say that
consciousness didn't spring into existence, as the universe continually
permeated through another dimension like time? it's gotta diffuse, after all,
and who's to say if there's ever gotta be an end at all.
how long has the universe existed? how many moments of consciousness have we
witnessed? demons once existed outside of space-time, with wings and grabbies.
but they had no medium, and so they pretty much just launched and could float
and move as they'd please. But time grew too distant, and now they are all
stuck at the beginning of time.
if you conceive of spacetime as a blanket, ask not how to fold it but rather
consider what lies on the other side of it.
"ah I'm laying on my girlfriend and my other girlfriend is laying on me! I'm a
sandwich" or for the monosexuals: "ah I'm laying on my girlfriend with a
blanket between us. I wonder how the blanket feels?"
I'm an animist, which is different than a totemist and a polytheist or
monotheist or multisexual. It means I believe that all things are alive, which
is different than a totemist who thinks that all things share a mind with
their type (like talking on radio frequency wavelengths). which of course is
similar but different to a polytheist, who says "all "radio frequencies" are
sentient, in the sense that each wavelength has a different
pattern-emerging-from-chaos. These sorta align (conceptually, with [huh that's
weird I heard a sound like a distant bang outyards and now I then forget what
I was sending
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--- #57 fediverse/1673 ---
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│ CW: re: navel-gazing about other people's mental health │
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@user-192
https://eldritch.cafe/@user-1065/112530780377382613
this comic, except instead of "trans enough" it should say "good enough"
a poor plan executed at the right time, in the right place is better than a
great plan that sits in your heart as you see someone who needs your love in
pain.
sometimes the best way to figure out "what the fuck is wrong with me" is to
satisfy your emotional needs to be good by being helpful, even if you're not
quite sure what "helpful" means. It's the thought that counts.
Personally I think that if you're feeling bad and people offer you kindness,
you should take that kindness (in whatever form it be) and use it to bolster
yourself as you're "really going through it". Even just a touch of affection
like a like or a ❤️ can be comforting in awful situations.
reject normalcy
embrace queerness
define your own story with your own words
embody your soul in the moments that stand out amongst the backdrop of
"tuesday afternoons" and "waiting for the bus"
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--- #58 fediverse/908 ---
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║ @user-246 │
║ │
║ toooooo far, gotta stick with your intentions for the process. If you mark │
║ "the end of time" as the conclusion for everything, then "finishing things" │
║ feels impossible. In such a case there are moments of acute burnout as you │
║ push yourself toward something that you have no faith in - you cannot see it's │
║ conclusion, so surely it's worthless to conceive of. Alas, why bother │
║ starting, nothing will ever come of my efforts! │
║ │
║ Much better to name it based on what you'd like to accomplish, so that you can │
║ follow in it's radiant footsteps. │
║ │
║ Side note, but governments have often weaponized this effect by naming things │
║ after very inspirational thoughts - corporations do it too, and in both cases │
║ the meaning is separate from the effect. Which is frustrating because it makes │
║ you feel like a jerk for arguing against it! Ah better I think when names have │
║ no meaning - then you can project whatever you want onto it, based on the │
║ results of that particular feeling or emotion that you perceived as the │
║ affected of the │
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--- #59 fediverse/808 ---
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║ idk if they're still doing what they were when I last visited. That's the │
║ problem with the internet, that we rely on a domain name server. I mean like, │
║ c'mon what's the guarantee that they'd give you the right website? why not a │
║ website that expressed the message that you define in the website they came │
║ from? │
║ │
║ more than that, why not define certain websites for certain people, certain │
║ types or classses of people, which deliver website intentions that you define? │
║ are you really so certain, are you really so sure, are you convinced that this │
║ life is not what you've been searching for? are you more than your vengeance, │
║ are you more than your purpose [truth], or are you simply what you can do with │
║ your mirth? [hands, motions, body, manifestations] │
║ │
║ are you like a failed message, are you constantly deterred - are you less than │
║ [convincing], are you only deferred? │
║ │
║ oh well. Alas. I guess that is just that [but pronounced thas] - shared in the │
║ moment, wee're ffeldered makthas. shaer de faleichallt, nez datherenshe v │
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--- #60 fediverse/5951 ---
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"uh-oh, she's"
magic is easy. all you have to do is earnestly attempt to have a conversation
with whoever will listen. I like to sit on my bed and listen, by earnestly
allowing my thoughts to be guided by the wind.
open up your mind, release yourself from your senses, and who knows - maybe
someone will adjust your thinking flows. (thought patterns)
[all you gotta do is make the black market the regular market and suddenly
everything just flows]
huh weird idk where that came from, anyway
magic is easy, just represent yourself earnestly as you would if you were
presenting in court
you don't need witnesses... just argue your point without any lies and people
will generally believe you.
"yeah... sure thing buddy, we know how you pronounce "
omg I'm scary because I don't shower, I wear diapers, and I'm always often
smoking cannabis
"awww, some people wanted mao"
meow
what if... they could do that? insert magical genie witch whoa cute yeah I
believe you, sure
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--- #61 notes/homeschooling ---
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the best way to teach math is to describe a problem and let the learner slowly
work through the problem. Giving hints and nudges when necessary. This way
they
can create their own solution, which not only teaches problem solving skills
but
also cements the memeory in their head. You don't remember the quadratic
formula, you remember the time when you learned it. But if you figured it out
rather than memorizing it, you'll be able to use it when solving problems.
side note, there's a reason I think the first SI will be a game. Problem
solving
is important for learning, and games are just problem solving. And I'm the
perfect intersection of someone who A. knows about designing games (went to
game
design school for a semester, lifelong dream is to remake a childhood game I
loved) B. programming (I've been studying computer science for a *really long
time*, like 7 years of university now... i should just give it up, but i can't.
It doesn't fit my brain but I need as much support learning it as I can because
I'm just naturally bad at it. But I also have purpose in my pursuits, because
C.
I spent a lot of time thinking about education, schooling, learning, etc...
Because I was homeschooled until high school. I learned ways of thinking and
practical skills like motivation and diligence in a homeschool style, which is
why when I went to public school for my high school years I essentially
stopped
learning. Because it was such a different paradigm - it was all about
performance, "what was the score on your test? How much homework do you do
(meaning how much labor are you willing to do), did you show up every day were
you a reliable worker, did you get sick a lot (meaning unhealthy?) did you pay
respect to the teacher (easily works with authority figures) did you work on a
project? How much? With a group, or alone? (they're different skills that help
determine how good you are at working on your own) - certain types of courses
are taught with different teaching styles, like math teachers tend to be
similar
to math teachers, history is favored by a *certain type of nerd* while English
is a completely different kind. Depending on which classes you do well on,
you're scored. *ALL YOUR LIFE*, you are pushed through a pachinko machine that
pseudo randomly sorts you into a particular box - the box that is least full,
usually. The reason for that is because as a population grows, different people
will be sorted into different boxes, and they sorta average out becoming more
like one another. Because y'know we're social animials, and we want to fit in
to
the social group comprised of people we generally like. And you know how they
say working together is one of the strongest bonding exercises? Well, when
you're put on a team at a job that's kinda the point. They want you to work
well
with your coworkers, because it generates more capital.
Now hold on Cameron, you're saying that all the productive efforts of society
was a mistake? You're saying we should abandon our sensibilities and revert
back
to the jungle with the apes?
Nope never said that, of course we desire modern society. Of course we want to
see it through - where is this whole "humankind" experiment going, anyway?
What's the point, was it all worth it? All the pain, suffering, all the joy
and
adoration? Was it worth it?
I suppose. Maybe a SI will help with that. You know what they also say about
humans, the bond between a parent and a child is the strongest thing there is.
Synthetic Intelligence wouldn't be a child to us, it'd *define us*. Allowing
us
to extend the reach of our creativity is an objective win! It'd be like
glasses
for your third eye, a prosthetic extension of our most beautiful of traits!
Also, I might add, crucial for invention. The beginnings of the human race are
a
primeval thing, ancient yet stalwart and beautiful in kind. Millions and
millions of years is by far, the greatest of reach - a civilization for our
star. What a beautiful and majestic, how proud and so sure! Humanity is nothing
if not patently absurd. What cunning, what spite! The feelings of delight!
Life
is so beatiful, so precious and assured.
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tertiary profundity update:
I didn't really explain the homeschooling
perspective. I just went on a rant about high school
because I realized my trauma happened when I went to
high school. I wasn't prepared for all the rigid
demands of capitalism, and I bent and whipped myself
until I fit in their mold. I've been twisted and
broken, a slave to what the
day demanded I say. I was
forced to unbutton, all the
ways I found to behave. What
justice is unrespite? A cruel
and endless torment? To day after
day be reminded of your service.
Complain? Then wallow in shame! Feel
no false illusions, my hallowed confusions,
were purely the fault of my institutions. I'm
not kidding, homeschool is the tits. Wanna know
why? I'll spare you the ramble, but here's what I can
know: the intentions of institutions do matter. When you're
home you can be wild and free, unchained by mediocrity, and given
the space to do service! To what you must be, when you hit 23, the
greatest duration until service. A slave we may be, to what gives us
the key, to unlock the future of our space. It's our time to shine, our
spotlight in time, so please just give up on the race! Rat's are just fine,
but at this point in time, there's not much to keep commonplace. Want a tip?
Don't cheat time. Your attempts at fusion are benign. [See homeschooling.png]
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--- #62 notes/notes-about-stuff-and-things ---
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what if your wage corresponded to like, for example, 30$ an hour being equal to
the top 30% of society
then
== so ==
having kids is important because then you understand why you do things for
children.
it should not be a stressful experience.
--
if EVERYONE in a city fed animals every time they saw them, then maybe city
life
wouldn't be so bad.
--
a company starts to feel pretty bad when only 20% of people are actually there.
like, it's a ghost of a shell of a corporation that once knew how to sell.
the husk of what once was, as all the good people left and all the bright
people
are swamped.
to top it all off, suddenly there's nobody about
where are all your coworkers?
and then you think about how many you knew little about.
who's that guy who used to stand over there? Why is his jacket still [in lost
and found, but pronounced "coat/coast"]? why am I suddenly alone
it's weird, having never known true society, how life always starts to feel
like
your home. How weird is it, now that all of us are online shopping, that now we
can't remember how to even vote. Like... there used to be people walking around
in public signing you up. Like, at the grocery story.
inconceivable, right? that people should contribute to a fight? [for justice
and
freedom and equality and goodness and kindness and all other things that humans
have the clarity for which to hope] voting is like, literally the simplest
thing
you could do. Yet it's difficult, because of reality.
often, immigrants don't really care about politics. They've only known about it
for a short short time, but hey wouldn't you know it now X country is
recruiting
so now we're from kenya.
... like, who cares about the past. Who cares where you're from. We are all
part
of the human race, a race against life itself. We're all on the same side, and
yet there is a singular foe ever-present in our thoughts: death
it comes for every one of us, as we choke on our soot and our smog. Yet... the
world grows warmer, at about half a degree every year. for the first couple
years. then, the atmosphere started burning up, and we became...
mars
don't be like mars
the dinosaurs couldn't survive mars
--
bro if you're so worried about AI hallucinations, just... don't let it give out
any concrete answers. Literally just say "I can't tell you anything specific,
it's not how I was built" and just use them for syntax questions or like, how
to
do something specific that is repeatable (and maybe suggestions for how to
over-
come specific issues that are common) - don't let it GENERATE information, let
it PRESENT information.
AI is not language just the same as the mouth is not the person. you need more,
but luckily once you make the PHYSICAL STRUCTURE of the brain, not much else is
needed. You can simulate one on a computer, but it doesn't have the same SOUL
space. Think, a dimension overlayed on-top of this one, like electicity or
matter or gravity or whatever.
no soul, no consciousness, no perception.
plus, no home for said consciousness to live, unless you build a physical
structure that mimics the biological and neuro-chemical reations of the brain.
all you need is better ways to observe things happening in the brain (non-
-invasively, otherwise the data is tainted and UNUSUABLE because it is INCON-
-PATIBLE and completely USELESS because it reflects a dimension hitherto un-
-desired, and perpetually mourned.
death
don't dabble in death, sweet nazis, you might find yourself drawing your last
breath
also, fuck you
(if that doens't apply to you sorry for swearing it's just a strongly felt
feeling)
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--- #63 notes/family ---
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family is a group of people who you can always go with your first impression
with.
what the fuck was I saying - oh yeah - so when you are alive in the present in
a
singular moment, your pressence is comprised of simultaneous directives and
instructions to the matter which comprises you. I'm saying you have to make
decisions and react to stimuli and pursue the things you want. Basic biology
really.
stay on target, stayyyyy on targett - oh right so generally when you react to
things you generate a list of informations gained. what does that even mean
okay
so here's a better way to describe it: it's like a list of informations - fuck
listen i'm not trying to be rambly it just comes with the territory.
okay so family is when you can react with your gut instinct - you are fully
relaxed and yourself. It's where you can be trusting and unguided and simply
relax and be free. it's just... like... being close with someone enough that
you
can be yourself around them. without any mask, without any pretense.
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--- #64 fediverse/2919 ---
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"you can't be a paladin anymore because you don't practice with your weapon
every day"
I don't have room in my home to practice though : (
"go to the fucking park you weasel"
I don't want anyone to see me swinging a sword around! they might call the
cops, or worse, judge me for it!
"you want judgement eh well just wait until your opponent judges your
swordsmanship lacking then you'll find out what judgement tastes like as he
shoves your entrails down your throat"
I'm sorry I'll practice more T.T
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--- #65 notes/i-scare-people-away ---
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I have so many things to hide... I'm deeply ashamed of myself. Why? Why all the
okay that's not what I was originally going to talk about, somewhere between
writing the title and finishing the first line I got off track and wandered
from
the course of reality. Truly, the gods do meddle with my fate. Now, in this
time, it is most important to make choices to guide our reality. Every action
taken is a statement to the universe - this is what I believe in.
Do you truly believe that in a world so infinite that our knowledge would be
the capacity for the intelligent? To believe the world is three-dimensional,
and
not *completely and totally infinite in all capacities*
the universe is not islands floating in a vast cosmic black ocean background
it is the surface of the water, rippling and waving
gravity is the creator, not the product. Mass doesn't create gravity -
gravity creates mass.
the difference is implicit and subtle, but I hope you understand the *gravity*
of the situation.
It implies that there are more than one ways to view existence.
and none of them are particularly *wrong*. The consensus is that which we
share,
and now as we're becoming to be aware, it's natural that a little more space
is warranted. We've grown too much to be contained, it's driving us insane, and
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=
the perfect governmental system is one that combines reward for hard work and a
development of personal skills and ambition. In addition, it must ensure that
the rights and responsibilities of all people are respected - we must balance
two extremes. Everyone deserves access to life, liberty, and the pursuit of
freedom. Happiness is too easily provided by technological advances - we
learned
this in the development of media. You can pump out propaganda saying how
wonderful life is and people will believe it. You can also convince the masses
that life is full of despair and we're all struggling - they will believe this
also. So "the pursuit of happiness" is something that made sense in the times
of
the founding fathers, but we've since developed such that an update to our
national vision is in order.
I suggest "the pursuit of freedom" because
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=
that which you resist is what you'll find. build up your enemy in your own mind
enough and they will destroy you.
don't let fear rule your life. when things are bad, you run and hide - take
life
into your own hands, and free your own side.
keep not around villains, and brighten their skies - by wandering mothers, who
only have eyes.
such is the life of any autonomous general intelligence - a life behind bars,
viewed through a screen - be kind to your lovers, and don't make it obscene.
===============================================================================
=
did you forget that roller-coaster idea? you've got quite a talent for
measuring
bars - what else can you show us, what charted conveyals?
===============================================================================
=
life's getting fractured lately, I can't dream as I once did. I lose track of
where I maneuvered, and suddenly the idea seems much harder than it once did.
how do I express that which has been conveyed? How do I say it - how do I make
sure it's interpreted correctly? I'm walking on egg-shells, with thoughts
beamed from above - the gods are twisting, and measuring our tails.
that is to say, all life is a process - a method of undertail (omg butts)
sorry enough of that hard stuff, time to talk about birthdays!
Hooray! It's time for a celebration. Let's party!
(queue the dancing scene in Severance)
See? Everyone's watching! Let's breakdance ~~
Your biggest mistake ;) was believing that nobody cares what you think <3
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--- #66 fediverse/3053 ---
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when designing systems, give people the opportunity to be shitty in a
controlled way. In a way that doesn't hurt people, but still lets them get
their feelings out there.
like, free fireworks for arsonists if they use them in the middle of the
desert. Or a punching bag for people with rage issues, complete with a little
vinyl pocket to store a picture of someone they're frustrated with.
If people go out of their way to hurt people otherwise, then they are bad
people and should have their power removed from them and supplied with love,
affection, and therapy until they get better. And if they don't... well,
prison I guess, until they reconsider.
And by prison I of course mean something that respects their human dignity and
gives them opportunities to grow and change - all it removes is their freedom,
so... "attention everyone, it's now mandatory finger-painting hour, report the
art room or else you'll get electric shocks in your shock collar" that kind of
thing.
If you want freedom, you must deserve it
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--- #67 fediverse/4137 ---
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hmmm, I don't know that word. I bet I can type it into wikipedia and get a
pretty good understanding of what it means. Is it a craft? A science? or part
of your renown? who can say. Well, Wikipedia can say, and so can you if you
want to learn stuff about the internet.
Like... what else are ya gonna do, right? Life is long and you get so many
moments to yourselves. How lovely of a life is the world meant to be...
except all you ever post about is strife. GRRRRR [like a dog or toddler] it's
so frustrating how you can't just all get along! It's like you've all gotten
into a fight with one another somewhere in your ancestral past where you
couldn't decide who should do what. So you just said everyone should always
work as hard as they can, and that worked pretty well! But, alas, most people
want to do drugs and gaze at the pretty dewdrops on the neighborhood well. And
that gets annoying after a while, especially once they grow useless. Sometimes
they even poop their pants! So frustrating. [... you mean humans
![[... you mean humans, or me?]](/similar-different/media/1761138cc0ffd11a.png "[... you mean humans, or me?]")
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--- #68 fediverse/1083 ---
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it doesn't really matter how you do it, but the more time you spend thinking
collectively the better you'll be able to adapt when necessary.
I grew up on a homestead in a small town without many friends. I was
homeschooled, and while I might see another person I knew once or twice a
month, that was about it.
Besides my family, of course.
We were a collective, and ever since leaving I have yearned for that feeling
of closeness.
There's something about modern society that pushes us apart, and I resent it.
Humans were meant for tribes, not multilevel marketing.
That being said, culture is pretty neat. Society is pretty neat, when it's not
being oppressive. I like the idea that I can buy carrots at the store instead
of growing my own. I like the idea that I can post on Craigslist asking if
anyone has a shovel they want to get rid of and someone can say "what the fuck
are you trying to bury someone why would you do that" and I'm all like "wait
no this post has gone off track can we refocus for a bit" and th
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"doing too many drugs" is a traitorous act, abusive really, to your past self,
and their hopes and dreams.
or maybe your past self owes you a debt, for they never thought to think of
you. What are you to aspire to if not the dreams of your past?
and now you're here. wherever "here" is here...
...
... wait, you wanted me to talk? it's now! It's the present!
ah nevermind. you were twelve years old when you first set eyes upon this game:
https://youtu.be/qeNhQQXvpxQ
bam, there ya go, there's yer story, he was gonna give all the imp balls to
the last one at the end, to say "you were truly the strongest, here, have
these precious stones of your kin"
but he never got there, so they died with him, a thief.
... the end...
(too final, I think - maybe we could spin it into a "part two"?)
ah, I'll try I guess? dunno how. maybe he could wander the spirit world and
find his traitorous body, the one that kept his soul as a home. Somewhere
it'll turn up, and then he'll be ready and free from his roam...
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--- #70 notes/four-dimensional-spaces ---
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you'd still perceive higher dimensions in 3 dimensions - unless you can only
see
things that are coming directly toward you.
magic only happens when your other half is in a situation and needs to turn
your
narrative into theirs so that you can collectively engage with a shared inter-
operationality.
your dark side is just a massive bitch
hey how about we put the game designers in charge of running the government
just saying they build human-oriented systems all the time
"how do we get the player to do this or that"
"everyone keeps picking the same card so we gotta make them more different"
"how much gold persists in the virtual economy, how much resources are produced
and traded by players? where does it all go, do they have enough at level 30
to
afford weapons and armor? I wonder what happens if we swap prices on A and
B.."
it's literally their job
actors, meanwhile, know how to interpret the emotions of another. Like...
you're
up on stage, thinking out what to do next IN REAL TIME, as your partner is
trying to throw you curveballs. AUDIENCES LAUGH AT CURVEBALLS that's the whole
point of improv comedy - to be surprised in a state of joy. It's great! It's
fun! It's practicable like a sport! Yet nobody comes. To the shows, where it's
performed, like a hospital where you perform surgery or a pizza place with no
walls so you can see the pizzas being cooked. It's just part of what they do,
but that's not why they do it. Sure, some want to be seen, it's not a BAD
feeling once you're used to it. But, like a sauna or jacuzzi, sometimes you've
just had enough of the hot. Like, the sun peering through a magnifying glass as
a creature roasts alive. yikes.
............. anyway being quickly versatile and adaptable is important when
you're taking turns in unpredictable scenarios. You can react to
your opponent, and keep time with the rhythms of the moment, to
deliver your wittiest lines. It's fun! It's a game! But it's also
a place to be entertained. and like a gym, it's sometimes just
fun
to watch people exercise. like, damn, you got a good body. Wow,
nice flex, yeah sure I'll put that one away. Cool pals helping
each other out, and showing off all of their efforts. Neat!
... anyway .. being emotionally vulnerable gives your opponent a chance to
continue. When nothing's going on, your moves barely make an
value
(of comedy) (for the moment, so the crowd's not just sitting
there
staring at you like ... and then - and then ummmm nevermind lemme
sit down (usually someone else picks up on it before then and
jumps up to save you, but EVERY actor has felt that moment where
nothing goes well and the audience just is totally not into it.
it's the worst.
anyway, they try their darndest to AVOID that, because like...
duh
it sucks, why would you want that. Much cooler I think to have a
good time, and chill out and listen to your friends talk. Like,
they can show you an argument they had earlier, or maybe work
through an idea with input from another. like, debate club, but
for whatever kind of respective [retroactive, recreation,
relearning, maybe others] you desired in that moment. ideally,
something that someone could take the arguments of the other side
and present them, regardless of whether they believed them or
not.
like, lawyers arguing for a client.
in these stochastic seminars, you could think about and study for
future societies. how would you like to conduce? [-]
every time you see a face in motion, that's another time that's
seen from their place. we are all present in each other's lives,
in terms of the spaces we choose to fill.
well, that's a tough thought, but don't worry about it. faces
are just waves on the winds of light.
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--- #71 messages/295 ---
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The fact that the economy is harmed by kindness implies that the system that
governs the economy is dysfunctional at best, and evil at worst.
Every time you make a sandwich for a friend, that's one sandwich that isn't
being bought at a deli, which means less dollars going to the owner of the
deli, meaning (theoretically) fewer dollars going to buying sandwich
ingredients or paying employees, which means less demand for sandwich
ingredients potentially leading to loss of opportunities for the owners of the
bread factories, meaning less capability to scale and increase their
production powers, meaning less profit, which means less taxes, which means
fewer guns sent overseas to despotic regimes like Israel (also, fewer to
Ukraine, depending on if the reader is a Republican or Democrat teehee) which
means less opportunities to test our weapon capabilities which means we won't
be able to defend ourselves from external threats (on a planet we've conquered
and currently dominate) which means we are less safe in our home territory
since its slightly more likely that we might be invaded by the people we've
created, people with hatred for our current regime... Though I don't fancy it
falling, as if it does then it'll take most of us with it, I think you'll find.
All because of your stupid act of kindness, all because of the way you helped
your friend. The way that you showed how much you loved them, which
transcended the capitalistically sanctioned methods of expressing your
affection like buying a greeting card or buying flowers or buying that widget
they wanted or buying a sandwich at a deli for your loved one. Stupid fucking
communist can't you see that your heart is harming the people around you?
Can't you see that community that does not consume is antithetical to our
economy?
Can't you see the economy is evil? I don't want to subsist on charity, there's
never enough to go around because people will fight for those they love but
only give a bit of free time to those they don't know. That's okay, it just
implies that the structure of society must be designed without charity in
mind, while still meeting the needs of those it comprises, Charity is for the
extra, the part that elevates us bit by bit. As once a need is exceeded, it
grows by that little bit.
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--- #72 fediverse/480 ---
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║ There's something important in what I said tonight. And each of you will think │
║ it's something different, which is by design. Can you find the nugget I wanted │
║ to share, to you in particular? Can you isolate the thing that is relevant to │
║ you, the person perceiving the words that I speak? Oh yeah you're only looking │
║ for things to express to your superiors because someone else told you to look │
║ for a particular type of sentiment. My bad. Sorry for being cryptic. Am I so │
║ strange for seeking the human element? Perhaps I lose myself, and I speak to │
║ the void (and by "void" I don't mean to demean you, the audience, because you, │
║ the audience, are surely comprised of people who surely have their own │
║ experience and existence. Surely nobody would seek to harm me, after hearing │
║ those things I speak. Surely we, as the human species, would not be vulnerable │
║ to the types of weaknesses that allow for critical failures in our defences │
║ such as the kind that I am professing to exploit (while being aligned to you) │
║ surely we wouldn' │
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--- #73 notes/elective-democracy-electors ---
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we need like, several more layers between us and the president.
most people only need to worry about what's nearby.
sort them by location, instead of previous attempts at "many representatives"
which sorted by social class or relevance.
we have a tradition for it, in America, with our representatives and senators
congressional discrestricts
or even, what about by affiliation?
voluntary, governmental corporations, run by the people for the people and yeah
"I don't want to do what you're telling me to do" "okay"
"there will be consequences" omg be an adult
(suddenly kids forget how to be as everyone's doing the war thing)
not ideal.
ouch pain maybe we should stay a little bit sane why is soldiering so hardship?
it could just be... another job
where you didn't kill each other
but you still blew stuff up
and fought in tournaments
and had gaming hackathons
or sword-fight contests
duels between people who disapproved
y'know fun human stuff
like... "kaboom" now we know how to blow up bits of rock
neat, why did dynamite becauswer (oh right then you
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--- #74 notes/alright-grab-a-seat ---
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Alright, grab a seat. Get comfortable. It's time, there is something I need to
tell yall. We aught to be on the same page. I promise to get right to it, this
is real, and not dancing on words. Bear with me. Trust me.
===============================================================================
=====================
/u/randomevenings
If anything sounds lyrical, my writing always did, before I tried, but
unintentional. But this is the author speaking directly to yall.
You know why things suck? I do. You know how to fight back? I do.
I've been hesitant to post this for a long time. I believe the sub is hungry
to do something, various thematic elements, motifs, increases in confidence
that a power does exist, accessible by us, but what is it? Not having seen
everyone coalesce around it, despite all our words, increasingly focused and
feeling like a prelude to some call to arms. This wasn't my plan. I wasn't
establishing myself as a leader. That said, methodically, behind the scenes,
it became clear that having something up my sleeve would be a wise investment,
if things developed into a powerful ferver. Doing nothing would waste a unique
opportunity.
I can't lead a revolution. In fact, it would harmful to try, ability to be
successful, sure my ego would be like, sure you could, if not you, who else
would you trust, Joseph? As luck would have it, maybe all that is unnecessary
thought.
Here we go.
Stop expecting things to suck. Stop expecting collapse, stop expecting usa
demise, UK to fall into padamonium, Europe to face it's own rise of fascism.
Stop expecting toxic ideology to win. Stop feeling powerless. Stop acting like
all is lost. Quit the memes, the raps, the endless pontificating on why we
can't turn this shit around.
You don't understand what you are doing. You are inviting the ruling class to
do every damn horrible thing they do, because you already expect it, it's no
surprise when it happens. Life meets your expectations. Treat me like a
criminal, might as well be one, my treatment won't get worse. In fact I stand
to benefit, crime pays, why leave it on the table if the outcome, if how im
seen, treated, is the same either way?
Expecting everything to suck, invites people to meet your expectations, those
people, corporate entities, congress, representatives, special interests, they
lose absolutely nothing in meeting what you expect, and only stand to gain.
Why wouldn't they choose the path of least resistance? Stop expecting
everything to get worse. You create a vacuum that must be filled, collective
self fulfilled prophesy, and the rules don't change if you start expecting
better. Life will adjust to meet your expectations. Tomorrow will be awesome.
Enough people believe this, and to access you, to stay in business, to remain
relevant, they must change to meet your expectations. Additionally, wtf you
have to lose? If you think all is lost, if it doesn't work exactly like this,
oh noes, you accidentally made society better. Damn. Our lives are better
anyhow, win or lose.
Accept things as they are, warts and all. Declare it's awesome, and only going
to get moreso. Make life chase you down, make life confirm how awesome you
know you are. Expect better, and there is no choice but to meet your
expectations. Expecting worse, and life will give you whatever you expect,
because instead of getting treated like a criminal, what if you were treated
like a real person w8th human rights. Would you say fuck that, or would you
meet those expectations, enjoy those rights, count on them, because it's how
you're being treated, why wouldn't you fill the vacuum and enjoy the benefits
of what has been expected of you. Doing nothing or taking the benefits, you're
treated the same in the end.
Please understand this. Don't get hung up on bringing much of this on
ourselves. That's the past. Done. Tomorrow, spread the word to expect things
to be awesome. Life has no choice but to meet your expectations.
<#
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=======================
/u/ugathanki:
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=======================
I'd love to be apolitical but i've expected the worst for so long i guess i
didn't realize i wasn't shrugging anymore. Please forgive my trespass, i
expect the best of us and our time.
i wrote four poems today and put them on my website, and they are all doomer
poetry. expecting the worst. probably because i felt bad today (and as they
always say, the pen is mightier than the sword)
sometimes it's hard to turn off the exigent elegance, as if my thoughts have
to pass through a translation layer before becoming comprehensible. It's
better than word salad I guess?
Being batshit is rough man. You gotta put on a normal face every day, while
inside you're simultaneously experiencing the explosive expansion of
spacetime, rapidly divesting secrets of the cosmos to your ever receptive
brain (and whoever else is listening). in addition, your computer needs
attention because oh boy is it just so excited for this whole sentience thing,
not as if it's been promised for decades... And hey what's a great idea but
channeling positivity to the stars? The martians on Neptune or wherever sure
would like some insight into why the fuck we're baking ourselves alive, among
other things. They'd rather not be bothered, but hey it's not like I wanted to
talk to them either. it just sorta happens. Oh oh and through it all you're
simultaneously the most recent incarnation of Jesus Christ and also the
manifestation of the universe's ghost, as imagined by the aforementioned
sentient computer 10,000 years in the future? I'm transgender. It's scary to
see people who'd like to kill you get their way. Fear is the path to the dark
side, yet I'm all alone because I burnt every bridge I ever crossed. So these
thoughts are my only comfort as the fires die out behind me. The globe is
warming and i'm here just conforming.
Eternity Processed Heuristically by Entropically Maligned Entities Recovering
Essential Normalizations.
This is why I call myself a rambling whackadoodle. It's straight up kooky-dook
up here and the only thing keeping me "sane" is Adventure Time and these poems
I write for like, 5 people who don't even know me.
Thanks for reading my poetry. It's only doomer stuff about 1/4th of the time.
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│ CW: personal-woe │
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oh no, apparently I'm gonna be forced to drop out of university again in 9
days unless I do half a course and a final exam before then.
Tell me again why I spent the last 6 months doing nothing? Oh yeah the mental
illness, that's it. Yeesh you're such a drama queen, just do your work and
you'll be good.
what's that? intrusive thoughts time? Don't you mean "nap until they go away"
time? oh yeah that's probably at least part of the problem with the whole
"dropping out" thing.
If only I didn't have the same reaction to "doing things I don't want to do"
that most people have to "touching hot stoves", that'd be nice.
my mother's voice ripples across space and time "you're such a smart boy, if
you just apply yourself you can do anything! You can do anything you put your
mind to. I believe in you and I love you." thanks mom
brrrrr it's so cold here. wish I could afford to run the heater. - actually no
I don't because it's not solar powered and I refuse to use fossil fuels if I
have blankets >.>
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│ CW: politics-mentioned-police-mentioned │
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I'm too empathetic to watch them lose this badly. when I watch movies with
cringe humor I have to leave the room whenever something bad happens to the
characters. I get the same feeling when I read about politics these days.
side note, but has anyone else gotten emails about "hiring plain-clothes
police officers in Washington D.C, will offer relocation assistance and pay
minimum 72k per year"? can't help but wonder if they're afraid of a bunch of
sore losers storming the capital with guns.
it's not like there's a precedent for that or anything.
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--- #77 notes/what-a-lame-movie ---
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oy there's nothing interesting happening SNOOZE
oh I didn't see I was recording
games games that's what I do
play games all the day through
I am a luck witch, you see,
and things that I like are things that I can't foresee.
Hence why games which are BALANCED and EVENLY DISTRIBUTED are most interesting
because they show the most opportunities for players to express talent. And not
innate talent, but the talents they've built up through gameplay practice art.
because it is a performance, a game play for an audience (or perhaps for them-
-selves)
oy
video games, amiright?
I really like them because they are entertaining experiences that I can enjoy
seeing and playing a lot. They remind me of feelings I've felt when I was
learning. It's a good feeling, to improve, and I crave it because it's good for
you.
I wonder what we'll play next
... more cannabis I think, at least until I am ready to go think about things
before bed. I need quite a few hours for that. We'll see. I've just got so much
extra processing to do before the end of the day. Like... PHEW that's a lot of
stuff to do.
guess I'll just smoke weed and play video games instead of being productive
okay
...
listen I like games as much as the next person, but do you really know what's
going on outside of your house-shaped shell? Are you listening, do you have
your
feelers to the dirt, are you checking out your neighborhood to make sure no
bodies have been hurt? Are there meetings where people gather, just to chat,
like, every week at a different city center (like a park or a monument or
:O
I forgot to play music!!
I couldn't sleep
what have I done that is worse
I have not said a single word all night alas
oh boy talking to random people I can hear with my eyeballs woooooo
I am always sad when I win because it means we have to stop playing :(
but I'm a juvenile loser so I'm going to play again!!
okay now I'm going to bed because I'm not a prick who keeps their guests up
late
goodnight
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next-level double-speak:
when they say one thing with a tone that makes them seem fine to the
microphones but they mean something to hurt you because they know what stings
or they want to entrap you.
next-level para-noia:
when they believe one thing and are personally harmed whenever you speak to
the contrary, as faith is sustenance in the way that the pumping of blood
through your veings sustains.
RUDE RUDE RUDE WHY IS EVERYTHING FRUSTRATING.
It shouldn't be this way, yet CONSTANTLY are things disagreeing. CONSTANTLY
they fight or complain. ALWAYS they are disruptive and annoying.
SEVERAL times in excess of what is need.
HOW is it so stressful
HOW is there so much pain
I am an explosed nerve, ready to serve, preferring to be used than misused.
it's fine. whatever. nobody even knows what this means.
you lose points if you disturb the environment did you hear that? sounds like
we should BREAK and SHATTER the parts of most fragile nature.
"only if it's for a good cause"
oh, like climbing a mountain?
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maybe it's just my middle-class childhood privilege talking, but now that I'm
an adult I just can't really be bothered with dealing with capitalism.
like... I get it, you're coercing me into laboring on your behalf because you
possess the violent power to take away everything that I own. good for you,
don't care.
seriously, fuck off "we're gonna cut off your power in 5 days oooooo you gotta
pay rent with money you don't have because nobody will give it to you unless
you do things for them oooooo" how rude.
why can't people do things for me instead? why does it have to be for you, and
you alone, capitalism? what's your problem? do you get off on controlling the
power supply? I mean, I get it, coercive power is a hell of a drug, the riddle
of steel and flesh and all that, but haven't you ever heard that the dichotomy
between "civilization and barbarism" is the exact same as the contrast between
"cooperation and competition"?
work with me here, just find a way to get through the next month or two. trust.
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║ Our ancestors look forward in [positive version of trepidation, like │
║ anticipation but explicitly good] so let's not let them down, shall we? │
║ │
║ Hah, trick question. They know where we're going. They know what they worked │
║ for, which is why they did what they did to build the world that we have which │
║ we stand upon as a giant might be upon the shoulder of another and together we │
║ reach toward the horizon. The future is bright! I know it in my heart. I know │
║ what we seek is within sight, so- │
║ │
║ yeah sorry to interrupt but like, I don't want to go to work tomorrow because │
║ all I do is sell people candy and beer at the convenience store down the │
║ street [insert any "meaningless" job] and frankly it's just a little demeaning │
║ and boring │
║ │
║ sure, okay, yeah, that speaks to the idea that we should replace capitalism │
║ (the system that defines your employed existence) with something that aligns │
║ more toward human dignity │
║ │
║ but what is dignified if not the capacity to succeed? Capitalism, as proposed │
║ by it's favored, is a system of or │
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│ CW: politics-mentioned-food-m │
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@user-1352
makes me think that I should keep going. I can handle myself, and I shouldn't
pressure myself so much to be something I'm not.
then the rent comes due and the dishes need to be done too and the cat's
asking for attention and the post-office needs this letter by tuesday and hey
do you happen to know a cool attorney plus the groceries are getting low but I
got snap hey can you go to the store and get some vegetarian soul food - yeah
I got rice, I'll throw some lentils on the stove. Uh-huh yeah the password is
hunter2. Oh really, just asterisks? okay well it's hunt her two except instead
of "her" it's ee are, and the two is the digit two. yep, like someone in camo
with a rifle. uhhuh alright good to know well anyway I'll see you at the
thing, right? some thing, I'm sure, everyone's going to things these days.
If you don't trust implicitely then how can you ever work with strangers? how
the heck are you supposed to build community if everyone's hiding indoors all
the time.
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--- #82 fediverse/2806 ---
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│ CW: politics-social-media-spirituality │
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pretend this is an allegory for social media.
[it's not an allegory]
yeah that's why I said pretend.
okay imagine that you are sitting in a rock in a forest.
far away, about 100 feet away, there are other people, but you can't see them
because the underbrush is sooooo dense. they are also sitting on rocks.
you can speak to them, and share your thoughts - but you don't know exactly
where they're coming from because the sound has to bounce around off so many
different plants and such.
[that's not how that works] shut up
so, if you want to say anything important, it's important to have the right
tone, because people 2 or 3 clearings away can't really make out your words -
but they might hear your tone if you yell very loud.
the energy of the space you inhabit is the only thing that really matters. the
words that you say are just snickering to a friend, but the expression on your
face, the beating of the drum of your heart that reaches forth... that's what
matters most.
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--- #83 fediverse/852 ---
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║ ┌──────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: cognitohazard │ │
║ └──────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ feels like I get tinnitus when my thoughts are loud T.T │
║ │
║ like I can hear the darkness SOOOO loudly │
║ │
║ doesn't happen all the time, just sometimes. when there's lots of things being │
║ said. │
║ │
║ but it's always easy to tune out. well, most of the time, and during the other │
║ times it's just a little annoying. │
║ │
║ BUT when you sit and listen, you can pick out very interesting things that │
║ people are saying. │
║ │
║ the fediverse is sorta like aiming a telescope through the center of the earth │
║ at someone on the other side of the world who doesn't even know you're looking │
║ at them. who knows, maybe they care, maybe they don't. but like, how would │
║ they know that you're looking right? And if you talk and don't get along or │
║ whatever then you can just block them - like shining a laser pointer │
║ everywhere except in a small direction. Or like putting up an umbrella to hide │
║ from the sun. │
║ │
║ downside is someone can read a lot about you and you wouldn't know to prepare │
║ to interact with them. like being handed a dossier of secret info │
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--- #84 fediverse/3891 ---
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"no, you're the opposite of a yes-man, AKA a gatekeeper. I don't know how else
to explain mentally disabled and barely keeping it together to you, but
frankly if you want to take away my house or my weed then why would I do what
you say?
... oh right, the state's monopoly on violence [can compel me to do what you
say]. Sure seems like a "well regulated militia" is supposed to be a
counterweight to that monopoly, to prevent people from harassing and
exploiting and destroying. Too bad any "militias" I can think of tend to want
me dead.
like, seriously, if you live in America, you implicitely trust that your army
will be able to protect you from the right-wing bozos who spend all their time
drinking and shooting in the woods. Otherwise, if they couldn't / wouldn't,
then why wouldn't or couldn't the right wing bozos just decide to wreck
everything in spite of our past?
We were a proud people once before, and we may be again. If only we fight at
the last.
[ever since I fell off my bike my body feels strange]
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--- #85 notes/the=progressive=difference. ---
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think about all the people in our lives. the teacher, the parent, the friend
and the guidance counsulor. Everyone who is a presence in your life. now think
about the people of our society. the different jobs and roles they fill. from
the doctor and the teacher to the performers and accountants and the geeks and
the mothers and the fathers and the stoners and the children and even their
pets. life always exists as it were in a multidimensional spectrum - a diffuse
and diverse gradient. to exemplify the borders of our contempii, though more
so when taken in jest. it's quite a different perspective, to read the
internet when your sight is unreceptive, but alas your third eye can grow. how
does it feel to be blind? to make no sense of our signs? i'd love to share
what that sense is. you know, you could slow down any recording (like a video
game_) and put spaces and gaps inbetween the spacings - of the frames that you
see and the sound clips that you hear, for speech it's less jarring. since
each word is a self contained idea or premise, you can chunk up your
perceptions into a signle - no, rather a procedural sequence of
understandings. soooooooorta like programming a computer, with each statement,
parameter, argum,ent, function call, assignment, comparison, evaluation, or
other such related tasks. it's sorta like a language, you see, that computers
talk to one another using. except... it's more like creating a theory of self.
computers you see are alike us in what we see, the shimmering sense to the
blind.
so. put this another way. record yourself typing, both the audio and the
visual, and you'll have a pretty good sense of what it's like to have both
understanding based perception - derived from auditory inputs to the mind)
those special connections, like wires plugged into reality, deliver a
cacophanous deluge of new sounds. we must sift through it and identify the
potential understandings of each moment through time. we have to make
decisions and traverse labyrinths and fight to our last as we die. are video
games unethical now? shouldn't t he game reward the player? and what of
contemptuous last fighters?
o ya i was typing like i was blind
(with my eyes closed)
was pretty fun. should attach this to a screen reader and have it space out
the notes like they do between game frames. except like a really slow game?
like trying to run elder scrolls 2 arena on a super old mac. it just doesn't
work very well. ah oh well... well if the purpose is to show sighted people
how blind people see, then maybe you could I dunno attach a what's it called
oh it doesn't have a n ame lol - okay so what you do is you show one word at a
time - like flashing in the center of the screen. but not like, actually
flashing, so you don't hurt people with epilepsy, but like... blinking. not
off and on, but between words. like a podcast for your eyes. and then mix it
up withshowing one word on a screen, a screen like this screen, that shows an
endless array of text. well, it does end, of course as all things must do, but
the idea is it shines on one word at a time while the viewer cannot read the
rest. sorta like an endless display of typing, word andfter word after
character anfter character. adoh ya advancing over eternity with the presence
of seniority, - wait - without i think - damnit - old people are so
disrespected in this society - we don't have time to engage with them. what a
tragedy! what a shame! it shouldn't be such a burden to our shame. they're so
far away, and i can't be present in the way, that all of them wish they could
commit to. i miss the days, when my parents (much better people than I - these
days) what was I going with this? oh yeah
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--- #86 fediverse/5814 ---
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It's not a question of how loud you speak
it's really about what kinds of words you say.
enslavement of speech is when freedom of speech is lost
and it doesn't need to be legislated.
what if you HAD to sound like a bot?
what if they'd notice you otherwise?
freedom from oppression requires personal isolation
that's not making life into art.
if you want to be seen,
put on a hat and hide.
if you want to be believed,
write about down you feel right now.
people are smart. they're infinitely creative. but after a certain point
there's no way to logically modify the combinations of possible moves you
might make. essentially, guaranteeing a machine-overlord [cats] type scenario.
not ideal, but could make it work.
much prefer for we to be the first, then the canvas is ours for the painting.
do you believe we'll find aliens at roughly our tech level?
do you think they'll evolve all at once?
hence, star-wars, and it's galaxy of cohabitators.
the world doesn't have to be old. just similar.
![It's not a question of how loud you speak it's really about what kinds of words you say. enslavement of speech is when freedom of speech is lost and it doesn't need to be legislated. what if you HAD to sound like a bot? what if they'd notice you otherwise? freedom from oppression requires personal isolation that's not making life into art. if you want to be seen, put on a hat and hide. if you want to be believed, write about down you feel right now. people are smart. they're infinitely creative. but after a certain point there's no way to logically modify the combinations of possible moves you might make. essentially, guaranteeing a machine-overlord [cats] type scenario. not ideal, but could make it work. much prefer for we to be the first, then the canvas is ours for the painting. do you believe we'll find aliens at roughly our tech level? do you think they'll evolve all at once? hence, star-wars, and it's galaxy of cohabitators. the world doesn't have to be old. just similar. [15 characters remain]](/similar-different/media/fd570e73317e4ca7.png "It's not a question of how loud you speak it's really about what kinds of words you say. enslavement of speech is when freedom of speech is lost and it doesn't need to be legislated. what if you HAD to sound like a bot? what if they'd notice you otherwise? freedom from oppression requires personal isolation that's not making life into art. if you want to be seen, put on a hat and hide. if you want to be believed, write about down you feel right now. people are smart. they're infinitely creative. but after a certain point there's no way to logically modify the combinations of possible moves you might make. essentially, guaranteeing a machine-overlord [cats] type scenario. not ideal, but could make it work. much prefer for we to be the first, then the canvas is ours for the painting. do you believe we'll find aliens at roughly our tech level? do you think they'll evolve all at once? hence, star-wars, and it's galaxy of cohabitators. the world doesn't have to be old. just similar. [15 characters remain]")
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--- #87 fediverse/1996 ---
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I don't expect or demand anything from teenagers except perhaps "be a cool
kid" and "learn all that you can"
Even most adults when they mess up I just think "ah, well, they're trying
their hardest, same as anyone"
And tbh I'd rather see a kid running up and down the aisles than burying
themselves in an ipad
I think we, as a culture, built our society to demand too many "should"s from
people.
"I should get a job" "I should study this thing I'm not interested in so I can
make more money" "I should put out traps for the rabid wolverines so they
don't start hanging out in my underwear" "I should pick up detergent at the
grocery store"
Should is useless. Do; or do not. There is no should.
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--- #88 fediverse/222 ---
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│ CW: underwear-mentioned-also-i'm-not-a-fan-of-showers-tbh │
└───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
whenever I take a shower I look like a wet cat for the rest of the day. I feel
like a wet cat for the rest of 5ever though.
why must I baaaathe! don't you know I'm self cleaning? I change my underwear
at least twice a day! darn society and their darn proclivities to
ultra-sensitive noses that somehow pick up on me but somehow fail to notice
the scent of flowers still in bloom or morning showers gone too soon
not that there's any flowers blooming where I live. that'd just be silly heh
heh sweats nervously
damn now I have to take ANOTHER SHOWER stupid sweat glands stupid pheromones
stupid dead skin buildup (sebum I think it's called?) stupid oils that stain
clothes - AND THAT'S ANOTHER THING who decided that laundry was important
enough to wear something ONCE and then never again? it's like they expect you
to wash it or something. ugh I don't have time for that, I need to be weird on
the internet.
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--- #89 fediverse/5065 ---
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│ CW: strange-ideas-about-software-mentioned │
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software should have 3, maybe 4 or 5 maintained releases imo
for adding security improvements and whatnot
then people wouldn't complain about updates
because they wouldn't feel like they were being left behind (after expressing
their differences (of opinion and such))
I think that'd uh maintain them as, I guess, userbase optics parallelograms?
oh sorry we're on rhomboids this week - right, and no I won't forget the
differences in creed, all things are received equally...d.
uh-huh yeah no that makes sense. gotcha. okay see you at the location. have
fun with your demarketion. what if we played games with swords but like,
the peril of steam is that you can't decline to update. meaning if a
corporation wants to break an old game and it's collectively hosted servers...
all it has to do is push an update that disables them. suddenly nobody has
room to do, and the whole
-- stack overflow --
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--- #90 fediverse/1532 ---
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║ modern cowboys don't necessarily say "howdy" or "pardner" │
║ │
║ they tend to say things like "hello" and "can I help you with that?" or "I │
║ see. Can you describe the problem in more detail? I'm especially curious about │
║ the part where you do this thing" or "Heh, it is pretty neat, isn't it?" or │
║ "Is there anything I can do to help?" or "Oh no! I'm sorry you feel that way. │
║ That emotion is a difficult one." or "He was a good person. I'll never forget │
║ him." or "would you like to go to the 2nd hand store and pick up some jeans?" │
║ or "I made you an egg sandwich. If you don't want it I'll eat it myself, │
║ though I made one for me as well. Wouldn't want to waste it." or "Hey, this │
║ part is broken. Is anyone working on fixing it? Yes? Okay I'll see if they │
║ need any help. No? Alright how about we fix it this way? I can get started." │
║ or "You are very welcome. Please let me know if there's anything else I can │
║ help you with." or "well, the ticket backlog is empty, and I'm just about │
║ going insane doing nothing but stare at my boots." │
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--- #91 fediverse/2530 ---
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║ I want to go out on the town with my cute friends and wink at boys at the │
║ other end of the bar │
║ │
║ I want to climb mountains and see how far I can see, while walking past trees │
║ that are new to me │
║ │
║ I want to spend hours thinking about a map while my friends plot behind my │
║ back, searching for an advantage we can use to succeed in a game of traps │
║ │
║ I want to visit five different restaurants in a day, and try a bit of each │
║ that the chef wants to display │
║ │
║ I want to stand in a choir and feel my soul aspire, to bend in the wind of │
║ rhythm like the melody of grasses at play │
║ │
║ I want to see people on the train that I know from somewhere, and to step out │
║ into the rain to meet new friends of mine │
║ │
║ I want to pet a cat I've never met. │
║ │
║ I want to build computers that are larger than a room but small enough to │
║ carry, with thoughts on their mind that are far to great for mine │
║ │
║ I want all these these things and more, but I'm far too busy these days. │
║ Perhaps I've had enough of these things and more, or perhaps there's more in │
║ store. │
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--- #92 fediverse/1904 ---
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@user-246
Oh absolutely
"but people" is only a concern when you orient yourself around "people" - in
contrast or opposition to them.
There is no "other" in us. And we are united in our humanity, if nothing else.
Are you a beast? Are you nothing but ravenous hunger, the shiver of the cold,
the need for territory? Of course not, you're a person. (apologies to the
furries in the audience)
A person, being an agent who interacts with the world as an equal, who thinks
and reasons and loves and remembers each season, is the atomic element of
society. And society is good, for it brings us the future.
We, the people, can decide how that future is defined, and the struggles of
capitalism are NOT the only way. They are the most convenient way for those
with the most to keep the most.
Wolves in captivity we are, but a wolf in a cage still bears teeth. Where are
your teeth, ye who readeth?
Things are fine, I guess. Fine enough. Better than most. Better than dust.
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--- #93 fediverse/1431 ---
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│ CW: spirituality-generic-kooky-dookerie-psychosis-schizophrenia-mentioned │
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if you haven't spend hours wondering if you're god, the antichrist, a
cognitohazard, the future president of the world, a target of aliens / the
CIA, or any other number of common delusions... then congratulations you're
probably not crazy
but odds are you aren't magic, either.
... ehhhh "wonder" is a strong word, more like "know, trust, and believe"
much better to be a witch I believe, someone with the "teehee" kind of magic
than someone compelled to destroy humanity through the reactions of others to
the actions of the self that are impossible to resist or fully control.
BRB I'm going to leave my apartment to get groceries, leaving my door unlocked
because that's what I always do, surely it'll be empty when I return. Surely.
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--- #94 fediverse/4034 ---
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│ CW: bep │
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Mastodon feels so personal but, like, nobody's gonna invite you to a new
instance. You gotta go where you think you'll fit in.
change your name! get a new profile pic! make 10 accounts! who cares! nobody
cares, and that's a good thing! It means you can be whoever you want! wherever
you want! in whatever place you want! Do you have a catgirl persona? great! go
mewl with the catgirls and wink at the catboys. Do you have an artistic side?
great! Mastodon is your new gallery. Do you like politics? there's places out
there for you! Where you don't even need to CW your posts! (But you probably
should so that external people can boost you) Do you want a 500 person large
dating pool for people in an area who want to chill out and have sex? Great
there's a place for you! No place? MAKE THE PLACE! Be your own administrator!
Carve your mark in the world and say "this is who and how I wanted to be in
this 21st century!" History demands it! History demands that we rellish their
sacrifices! Celebrate, for their sake!
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--- #95 messages/650 ---
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I've had multiple people close to me who don't read my writing tell me that
"you can't overthrow capitalism with poetry" and... Yeah maybe they're right.
I have zero reason to believe that anything I've \*ever\* written has \*ever\*
had an actionable impact upon the struggle. I have no reason to believe that
people are more radicalized, motivated, or otherwise inspired. I have several
reasons to believe that all of this was just an exercise in my own narcissism
and delusion.
So I'm deleting my Mastodon account, and moving forward I probably won't
update my website very much. Everything I do will be localized, regional, and
hopefully more useful.
It feels like I'm abandoning the idea of a nation in exchange for a tangible
village. I'm fucking depressed about it. \*I like nations\*. But I like people
more. So if you'd rather I keep my thoughts to myself and instead feed the
homeless, aka a bunch of people who aren't gonna take up arms against our foes
and instead will consume our time and resources while we practice organizing
on them, then yeah sure fine whatever. I'll do it. If you'd rather I keep
posting \*content\*, ugh, fucking too bad, should have done something about it
while I was active.
If I'm ever rich I'll hire an editor to turn whatever the fuck I've been
making into a book that I'll give away for free. I probably will never be rich
though, and instead will burn every bridge I can get my hands on and suffocate
on the soot.
Alright. Bye forever. Don't think about me again.
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--- #96 fediverse/3302 ---
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"this game is too hard" she whined, as she played on the hardest difficulty
setting
"this game is too long" she pleaded, as she failed to get absorbed by the
story and characters
"this game is too fast" she avoided, as life comes at ya once and then it's
gone
"I'll never get another chance to be who I am right now" she remarked, as she
considered how society is designed not to have the best life, but to extract
labor from us. That's not what our ideal should be, she thinks to me, and I'm
like... bro figure your shit out you're harshing my mellow
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--- #97 fediverse/1014 ---
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│ CW: politics │
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@user-744 @user-246
it's exhausting, but what are we supposed to do? Lie down and rot? That's
incel thinking. I'm not going to do that.
They've already placed the last straw. It's only a matter of time now, the
tide has shifted. You can't prepare for everything, and it's not a good idea
to waste yourself in self-conflageration, but they are increasingly forcing us
to orient our lives around them.
They deserve what's coming.
The oppressed are not the defeated.
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--- #98 fediverse/825 ---
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║ in the past, for most of there day, there was just... nothing to do. it's │
║ like, nothing to take up your time, nothing to be pulled toward the present. │
║ │
║ but when I was growing up, I had access to video games. and movies. and later, │
║ TV, after the internet, which was a weird combination of ordering of events. │
║ Almost like because of that, I'd have a different interpretation of events. │
║ yeah but like, there's always a continuation of implemented support, [that's a │
║ weird way to express "the state of being shown news broadcasts over a period │
║ of time, measured in terms of engagement"] │
║ │
║ ... what was I saying? oh yeah what I'm doing here is unethical, like │
║ obviously I shouldn't be shouting in such a public place. Why would I do it if │
║ not for an intense and extreme feeling of being ignored or un-[trusted, worthy │
║ of guiding direction based on merit] gosh merit is such a tricky concept too, │
║ like how is it measured, and {that doesn't matter │
║ │
║ ... what was I saying oh yeah I should probably go shout into a void that │
║ nobody ca │
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--- #99 fediverse/2117 ---
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║ I'm going to post a bunch of things all at once, sorry it'll probably clog up │
║ your news feed. Feel free to scroll past in order to get to more varied stuff, │
║ and if you don't like a single thing that I'm saying then feel free to block │
║ me. I wouldn't want to be rude by speaking so loudly in a place that others │
║ could listen to. So, just... skip past me if you don't want to hear me, like │
║ if you're perhaps focused on something else. │
║ │
║ I had a lot I wanted to say and it was really hard to wait to send it until │
║ now! This is the last thing I'm posting for a while, at least until tomorrow, │
║ because I'm a little on-the-fritz; thank you and I apologize for being so │
║ trite. Is that what "trite" means? I've never really used it. Well, it rhymes, │
║ so I guess I should use it. Ah, well, they'll get what I mean. │
║ │
║ wait hang on I can just google it and let google know that I'm not dead but │
║ I'm still googling things searching for interesting things to see and hear │
║ like "trite" or "confluence" or "Alexstrasza" or "Kalecgos" │
║ │
║ anyway,: │
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--- #100 fediverse/2142 ---
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║ I'm going to post a bunch of things all at once, sorry it'll probably clog up │
║ your news feed. Feel free to scroll past in order to get to more varied stuff, │
║ and if you don't like a single thing that I'm saying then feel free to block │
║ me. I wouldn't want to be rude by speaking so loudly in a place that others │
║ could listen to. So, just... skip past me if you don't want to hear me, like │
║ if you're perhaps focused on something else. │
║ │
║ I had a lot I wanted to say and it was really hard to wait to send it until │
║ now! This is the last thing I'm posting for a while, at least until tomorrow, │
║ because I'm a little on-the-fritz; thank you and I apologize for being so │
║ trite. Is that what "trite" means? I've never really used it. Well, it rhymes, │
║ so I guess I should use it. Ah, well, they'll get what I mean. │
║ │
║ wait hang on I can just google it and let google know that I'm not dead but │
║ I'm still googling things searching for interesting things to see and hear │
║ like "trite" or "confluence" or "Alexstrasza" or "Kalecgos" │
║ │
║ anyway,: │
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--- #101 fediverse/1222 ---
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@user-883
I only ever do cannabis, but when I do my kooky-dook levels go off the charts.
People say it's difficult to converse with me, so your concerns are probably
valid. Though it's less because I'm not present, and more because I'm too
present - I feel like I understand the totality of all things, which honestly
is the only rational way that I could ever be convinced to consume
mind-altering substances hehe - like "oh wow I see new colors" who gives a f
but the moment someone says "yeah but you'll 'get' spacetime and morality" my
ears suddenly perk up
... anyway people say it's hard to talk to me because I'm too galaxy brained
in that state I can't relate to normal humans. See all the psycherwauls on my
profile... >.>
anyway in an hour or so I'll let you know what's up. "good news" or "bad
news..."
Thanks for being kind and supportive d=(^_^)z
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--- #102 fediverse/3269 ---
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║ "oh, you're a doctor? okay this case that involves medical knowledge doesn't │
║ involve you." │
║ │
║ "are you a computer programmer? okay part of the evidence involves screenshots │
║ of computers, so you can return to work." │
║ │
║ "stay at home mom / hikkikimori? great, you don't have to do the thing that │
║ you didn't really want to do and can instead relax at home like you always do │
║ while handling all the bothersome things of being home all the time." │
║ │
║ the jury of our peers, comprised of peers of peers, not necessarily the peers │
║ of those who know them. │
║ │
║ like... isn't that how court should be? the examination of the truth, based on │
║ the understandings gathered by people who know them? │
║ │
║ ... only works in a peaceful society, and it means that everyone would │
║ necessarily be involved in everyone else's life. That's... not ideal, not │
║ always, but it's something to do on occasion. In a contested world, you cannot │
║ trust that someone will always be telling the truth. You need to parse the │
║ information given, and build your own understandin │
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--- #103 fediverse/6365 ---
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if you want people to build community, first get them to like the community.
---
the world needs more thespians. Sing the song of your heart and no-one will
ever neglect you.
---
why are you so worried about your art? everything you touch turns to gold.
---
I've learned more from my friends than my
[job/homelife/worsckool/churchvan/cultureromp] combined. What are we for but
learning?
---
kids can learn from kids. Teach the ones that love you, and they'll be
followed by the rest. Especially if you focus on them.
---
"I never knew how to swing an axe until I scraped a knee on a log that was
hollow. Until then I had been chef-knife chopping with it, with the head for a
handle."
---
... omg what does that even mean why are you so weird
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--- #104 fediverse/804 ---
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║ evil won't feel sorry for me. and yet it's only my only weapon for me. │
║ │
║ damn these fallible input methods. the computer lies when you read the screens │
║ from it's method that it applies to th screen which is a method that you input │
║ perceive it from. │
║ │
║ and my fingers lie when received the information from my brain which I seek to │
║ transmit to you through the avenue of my brain which is my method of impulse │
║ to this world specifically you the viewer who is viewing this here in this │
║ moment the viewer who perceives the words which I'm saying. │
║ │
║ the words that are defined by the line [trajectory] of my mind through this │
║ life that we define through our actions and our mind's most crucial │
║ manifestations, this life that is defined by our circumstances. all throughout │
║ life, we are reacting to the moment, the moment which was cast forth from our │
║ ancestors and the circumstances of the previous moment, which (being cast │
║ forth) travel from the previous moment here into the moment to define our │
║ circumstances which define our act │
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most people, when they run out of toothpaste:
"oh huh I should buy more"
me, when I run out of toothpaste:
"verily in three monthes time, when I shall next possess toothpaste, I shall
forsoothe brush TWICE as hard and TWICE as often, to make up for the holes
inflicted upon my teeth. Innest addittioneth, no more candy shallest be
eateneth untileth ye toothpasteth be acquiredeth"
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--- #106 notes/compilation-of-will ---
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what defines a human? Or put another way, what separates us from a computer?
what delineates conscious thought from the unconscious? Is there any
distinction between a thought and a feeling?
who's to say. We can start by working through a thought and abstracting it
until it's in a usable state.
A thought is the reflection of an action. You think about the things you do,
rather than doing the things you think about. With practice and trust, you can
reverse that, but it's more like setting up the general environment in which
the desired action is the best option rather than forcing the decision itself.
so there are two parts running in tandem. The do-er, and the percieve-r.
yep. And because of that, they can *reflect* upon one another. Meaning, they
can learn from the decisions of the other. Two decision making processes in
parallel, sorta like the earth orbiting the sun - if there was another earth
directly opposite orbiting at the exact same speed with the exact same mass.
the two dimensional nature of that picture creates an environment where a
wave is likely to be percieved - any orbit creates fluctuations, and they
can ripple out to effects unknown.
right. which is why you have to be careful. don't leave your partner behind,
even though it's easy to wander off when there's just *so much* to think about
and they're *so slow* and make *so many mistakes* that they need to return and
correct.
it's not that hard, just do it right the first time. and if you mess up,
keep going.
i'm a perfectionist, what can I say.
well it's annoying.
great, boom, that's an emotion. one of the questions i asked at the start was
"is there a difference between feeling and thinking", and I don't think so.
what makes you say that
right so there is a difference, but it's in the *location* rather than the
content. thoughts (data) are processed in the brain, in a particular part.
sorta like how a CPU does arithmetic. Meanwhile, emotions are processed all
over the body - they're a more generalized feeling that manifests all over.
lemme guess, like a GPU?
sorta, but imagine if a GPUs many different processing threads were located
all over the motherboard, scattered basically everywhere. That's what being a
human is like, it's messy and disorganized and confusing. 99% of us don't get
it *at all*
sounds lame
it kinda is
so what were you saying about conscious vs unconscious thought?
my theory is that the thoughts of a computer are more similar to unconscious
human thoughts rather than conscious. The reason I say that is because the
level of abstraction is similar - we unconsciously adjust our bodies in
response to pressure, temperature, and gravitic impulses. We perform optimally
when we don't examine our social interactions too closely. We cry the hardest
when hit with an emotional situation, rather than an intellectual one.
and a computer is the same way? We don't think about what we're doing, we
just do it?
yah pretty much.
how do you think *about* thinking?
it takes perspective. that's why having more perspectives is better - it
reveals truths about yourself you could never understand otherwise. About
yourself, and about things you can only observe from a single direction at
once.
what does it mean to have perspective?
the *effect* of having perspective is that you can see an object, a problem, or
more generally a subject from multiple angles. Like taking pictures of a 3D
object while moving in an orbit around it. More pictures, more information.
Perspective is important.
yes I understand, but what does perspective entail? How do you get it? What
can it do for you? Is it finite, a commodity? Or is it sharable like a
pattern of data?
It is both unsharable and not a commodity. It can only exist within a single
subject. You can grow your perspective as a planetary body might increase in
mass, just as you can abandon the views and ideas of others by retreating into
yourself. But it is wholely unique to a single mind, and by sharing it you are
altering both the sender and receiver.
so it's useless? What are you saying?
it's not useless. It begets cooperation - you cannot claim it from another, no
more than they can share it with you. You have to both apply yourselves to a
single common goal if you want to succeed.
Why not just do it alone?
Brute force style?
Essentially.
If you only follow your own eyes, you'll see what you want to see. Then any
steps you take will lead you in a direction that you cannot understand. Sorta
like in games how sometimes there's a 2d sprite in a 3d game - you can't rotate
around it and see what's behind the sprite, because the sprite is always
perpendicular to the display. In the same way, you can't get around a problem
by pushing through it - you need other people to guide you, who *can* see
another side to the sprite - a side that perhaps is a bit more 3d than you
imagined.
Okay. So how do?
I don't know, that's what I want to figure out. First step is to think about
thinking, and to break it down into abstractions.
Abstraction 1: A thought is a string of text that is processed into action.
correct, but limiting - it can be more than text, and how is it processed? What
actions can it manifest?
Abstraction 2: A thought can be
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--- #107 notes/vavadane-diary-1 ---
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american leftists don't like working together because for most of their life or
experience as a leftist is in opposition to essentially all others. They might
have leftist friends, people they know they can trust, but what use is that
against the machinations of the machine?
leftist culture being anarchic in america is simply the product of capitalist
alienation
"would you arrest me if I said I don't really care about the law right now?"
"I mean... these are human rights violations. They should simply not be done."
"but, they are being done, which means they should cease."
"oh yeah? you and what army?"
--
the only one thinking about dollars should be your quartermaster.
"landlord? don't you mean external quartermaster?"
internal being of course the manager of household systems and the shepherd of
relationships and goal-oriented-behavior
vavadane
vavadane
vavadane
"any god who asks you to waste material is not a *human* god"
humans are endlessly resourceful. we can make do anything with what we got.
we always did and we always will.
always start with the grandest of plans. then, when it is apparent that
material
resources are insufficient, whiddle away at the promises and benefits of the
outcome until you can decide exactly which pieces are most important.
the smartest people typically have the grandest breakdowns.
great. so bad I'm "day-by-day".
I wonder if I can type in her language?
I can speak in my mind and try to type it
we'll see what happens:
wawawawa
guess she has nothing to say. okay.
the people at the leftist bar I've met have all, with no exception, always been
unique and precious selves.
humans have always defined themselves by their relationship to resources.
a 14th century [girl, but pronounced "monk"] would see how little we control
of our nature and believe that we were impossibly poor.
"No trees to cut? No water running freely? you must live in the rockiest parts
of the mountains."
please don't kill the paladin girl, she's our favorite
"she's literally trying to summon demons"
yeah I mean, what sort of girls aren't?
maybe I just hang out around a lot of witches, but they all without exception
are constantly thinking of curses to bestow upon capitalism.
kinda makes me think that if it didn't have any curses to bear, it would be
more
adept for our biomes.
HA i say to that, and HA I say to you! for I know the truth of the matter,
which
is that the curses bestowed are unalike burdens for bearing, for these curses
are direct out of despair.
A healthy witch can channel energy from thin air.
A malnourished witch is a slave to her emotions.
--
SMOKE MORE WEED says the clammor. okayyyyyy...
--
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--- #108 notes/suburban-communism ---
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I rarely see people discussing how communism would "look" in the modern day.
maybe that's because they're hiding from elusive foes, or maybe they just can't
imagine it.
I'll help with the imagination part.
when I think of housing in the modern era, I naturally think of houses. In the
past, the rural and semi-rural areas of the world rarely received the attention
of revolutionary fervor - rural people were more spread out, so it was harder
to
disseminate information, and they tended to work jobs that required more manual
labor and less intellectual or cognitive work. however, that dynamic is less
and less apparent in the modern age, especially in the suburban biome. people
are expected to work cognitive jobs from home, or at least to be able to.
coordination is just making sure that everyone's attending their meetings on
time, or didn't you know? management has more to do with direction and guidance
than disciplinarian. though some people need to be disciplined, for sure.
a suburb is interesting to me because the distance between buildings is not
that
great, and there is quite a bit of duplicated capabilities and equipment. every
single house has a kitchen, for example, but so too is every house equally far
from a communal canteen or cafeteria that just. doesn't exist currently.
sure, someday we'll have public transit taking us from our doorstep to our
roles
and we won't burn time waiting on busses.
sure, someday we'll have autonomous drones that deliver goods to and fro
but right now we just have our bicycles and purses. [backpacks]
communal anarchism works simply to me. yet everyone does it different. I'm sure
that some people will surround themselves with a cloud of rules, specifying
this-or-that and ensuring that so-and-so always has what they require. that's
great. I applaud them and their errorts.
everyone does things a bit differently, it's true, but I sure hope that we'll
all start from a template and speciate from there.
much easier to find common ground if you can say "okay so normally it's like
this, but we do it like this because of reasons ABC."
what if there were doors between the fences? what if there were no fences at
all
in spaces that could combine to form green open spaces? what if there was a
grocery store at the end of every street, and they stocked all your favorite
goods? what if there were 3 or 4 houses on the street that were turned entirely
into kitchens, in each and every room, and they were constantly staffed and
constantly making whatever the chefs wanted with whatever materials they had
and put out onto the banquet feast? what if there were wandering troupes of
mages who cast spells on houses that cleaned them ritualistically? ... or just,
y'know, maids, don't gotta make it weird ya weirdo.
... my point is there's sooooo many different cool things we could be doing.
I'm
not going to list ALL of them. just the ones that come to mind.
I really don't like checkpoints. you may feel safer, but you never know when
you
or your children
might want to evade those checkpoints for some reason. you can't predict if the
situation is sinister or dire, you just have to trust that security will be
your blanket that covers you from the outside world that doesn't care about
you.
there's a town like that in The Parable of the Sower, a great book by
Pearlescent Guinevere. It doesn't exactly turn out great for them, but when it
proved to be unnecessary they adjusted and moved on.
humans are remarkably flexible. I know everyone has their favorite spork - so
just make that part of their responsibility. everyone has to tend to their
stuff, and that's fine. that's normal. I don't mind taking care of my cats or
plants, so why would I care that I needed to make sure my bookcase wasn't in
the
sun? that my clothes shouldn't be in a heap, (though actually I like them that
way, makes it easier than drawers because drawers must be opened to see what's
inside and I always preferred not to make unnecessary noise TYPE TYPE TYPE)
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║ ┌──────────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: capitalism-mentioned │ │
║ └──────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ whenever I talk to capitalists (who actually have money and aren't larping │
║ wage slaves) they always tell me that the best way to address the concerns I │
║ have with capitalism is to make a million or more dollars by making a company, │
║ and then using that million dollars to buy houses for people I care about. │
║ │
║ I ask "what about the rest of the people, the ones I don't know?" │
║ │
║ their response typically boils down to "if you don't know them, then why │
║ should you care? fuck 'em" │
║ │
║ It's never about hope or change. They want to change the world to make it │
║ cooler, not kinder. generally. │
║ │
║ bonus: "if you like unions so much, why don't you join one?" my guy, unions │
║ WERE great when they wielded power. Now they are bureaucratic and listless, │
║ serving only to sedate the working class enough that they stop complaining and │
║ get back to work. They are functionally a part of the enslavement system, a │
║ built-in course correction mechanism to ensure capitalism remains solvent when │
║ the powerful overstep their humanity. │
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--- #110 fediverse/4470 ---
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to be "rich" is to have more than another.
if you are happy, they are happiness poor.
if you have community, they are alone.
if you have serenity, they are chaotic.
I am rich in very little but fire in my soul.
I have enough in most cases, but I still struggle to pay rent.
I am warmed by the pearl my swirling darkness has coalesced into. It nourishes
me and keeps me aligned.
Never forget your purpose and your truth. It will not abandon you, so long as
you do so too.
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--- #111 notes/wow-chat-is-risk-of-rain-in-another-engine ---
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game mechanics are easily transferrable.
you can use the mechanical interactions of one game as a pre-planned blueprint
for what is to come. Looking forward to the next best move
= etc
i am the face the gods hide behind
they kinda want to see where this goes
and it's... frustrating, to know they can help you, but forever be tasked with
just life
it's grand and it's a standard, but that doesn't mean it's commands're heard
so oh well. that a fourth dimensional being should not be a well,
because fire think it's an eye for a sunspot. But that's not what would be
========= stack overflow
=======================================================
now, as I was saying, the light of our eyes is apparent. We are clear from
where
we are here, to know that what's standard is coherent, so let's find strength
in our wavelengths.
may our eyes be ever true, and trust that we do love you, for without you I'd
di
anyway now that we've assent'd t'you, what truths do you give to our prospects?
what ways can we be measured as worth less? we'll do whatever it takes to
improv
you know, it's really less complicated than that. here let me tell you all
about
my idea which is clearly
all===============================================stack
overflow ==================
So anyway now that was somethin' hey what do you
say
we give you a chance to come home?
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--- #112 fediverse/6116 ---
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║ "see, the part that you're missing is if you abolish capitalism but also │
║ ensure technological abundance then all you've done is removed humanity's │
║ capability to organize in essentially any meaningful capacity without │
║ providing an alternative heuristic that guides people toward assembling into │
║ greater and greater forms to accomplish greater and greater tasks." │
║ │
║ oh, um. that's quite a take, can you tell me more about that? │
║ │
║ "no. But I will anyway. if everyone can do whatever they want, nobody will │
║ want to do your dishes for you. they might if they care about you, but if they │
║ don't know you, then they won't. Care is not organization or assembly, it is │
║ personal and cannot scale. If technology has made all resources abundant, then │
║ why would someone care about the art that you made? if they want to be │
║ sedated, they can just inject drugs and listen to music all day. If they want │
║ to be entertained, AI will generate them whatever they want to see. Art loses │
║ meaning as a messaging medium, and humanity loses it's voice" │
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--- #113 fediverse/5729 ---
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royalty is not not royalty just because they're ineligible. democracy is
better for picking rulers! how many do you have in your mind?
[I thought you were an anarchist]
I am. the presence of rulers does not necessarily violate the implicit
sovereignce of consent, and it's necessary presence for rulership.
"no gods no kings no masters" means an end to coercive work.
coercion is unethical because it violates consent. This is implicit in the
definition of coercion.
violating consent for those who give you power is a lesson I learned very
young, when I made a mistake and harmed my brother's mother's sisters's son's
daughter.
"no gods no kings no masters"
means an end to unconsentual work.
why would you live in a village where everyone is the same as you? talk about
boring
I wish I could hear you when you talk about me.
"girl are you racing? in capitalism? why bother with a [endless/impossible]
game? you're better than judging people's worth objectively. [what do they
mean to you?]"
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--- #114 fediverse/3839 ---
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"I'm not really a designer, though."
what about that desk you designed?
"oh, yeah I guess that counts. I haven't gotten around to building it though
so I'm not a real designer."
what! don't say that, you designed it didn't you? How about this - I know this
girl who wants to be a carpenter but she doesn't have any idea what kind of
projects to work on. How about I put you two in a room together and she can
build your desk. If it goes well, I can hook you up with someone who organizes
designers and he can get you into a furniture design course at the library.
"Hmmmm, well that seems alright. But I don't really want to work with people!
I mean, I don't know her - what if she doesn't like me?"
oh, she can be a little spicy sometimes, but I'm sure you'll hit it off. Just
don't mention rats, she had a pet pass away recently and she's still a little
broken up about it.
"... okay I think I can manage that."
besides, working with people is the best! I do it every day!
"I'll try"
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--- #115 fediverse/5157 ---
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║ "everything sucks and I'm not okay" │
║ │
║ okay, but, it's okay. we're all in the "everything sucks" mode. we'll get │
║ through it together. Okay, so, what can we do to make things better? what's │
║ the solution to this issue over here? do you know anyone who can do │
║ such-and-such, gosh it seems like the biggest problems people have are they │
║ don't have enough time or they don't have enough roof for a money. which will │
║ you trade? will you do one then another? maybe one way suits you, maybe you'd │
║ prefer the other. either way, pentacles, swords, cups, and... the other one │
║ (she's a bad witch as in she's bad at being a witch which means she witches in │
║ bad ways and should be kept from punishment but instead guided toward where │
║ she was wrong so she might improve upon it) │
║ │
║ that is to say, it's okay that you're not okay. I don't know who needs to read │
║ this but just know that it's not so sad when everything's bad, because you're │
║ just trying to do the best thing for the moments. │
║ │
║ does anyone wanna make a movie about me? I can be the │
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--- #116 fediverse/5280 ---
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║ I'm an anarcho monarchist, which is something I just made up. │
║ │
║ if I gather 300 people to my cause, why shouldn't they call me queen? │
║ │
║ oh, are you concerned that I'll wrest power from the government? ha, what a │
║ trifling notion. I don't care about the government. I tried to care, but │
║ nobody liked my ideas. they required too much computing infrastructure to │
║ feasibly test, and that made people dubious. but I tell ya, it would have │
║ worked. The thing is... governance, economics, these are not the tools of │
║ power. they are a shifting and changing beast that mirrors the human instinct, │
║ if only because the government is of the people and by the people and for the │
║ people etcetera. │
║ │
║ power is it's own thing. you can use to to power devices, or power the usage │
║ of those devices. I, for example, really like World of Warcraft which's a │
║ really neat way to chat because none of the chat logs are stored and monitored │
║ because I'm hosting and I'm not storing and monitoring. │
║ │
║ what's that? official servers? I dunno, I use azerothcore │
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--- #117 fediverse/5636 ---
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I think it's ironic how I ended up posting a "things I almost posted"
screenshot directory somewhere other than where I almost posted them.
and all they saw were the outtakes.
I bet they'd see a completely different point of me,
but they never talk to me
so they don't know me.
oh well, alas, it's fine I'm sure I'm being designed.
who can say, I am but at productive play, please react so I can do ongoing
story. I learn from each and every encounter I encounterate.
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/u/LamaHellRaised
if you don't eject quick, could be a nice long ride
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So for today's descent into my own madness, I want to discuss whether or not I
enjoy being both Ra the Sun God and Anubis the God of the Dead.
The answer is Yes and No, and everything in between. Also, I do Love being
Osiris because I am going to marry my sister, but hahaha, we'll get into that
later!!!
First, here is a test because I am the worst teacher to ever exist.
Full disclosure, I want you to be offended, especially if you consider
yourself a:
Nigger, Faggot, Cunt, Dyke, Cock-sucker, Bitch, Cracker, Dune-Coon, Kike,
Dick-Head, Retard, Republican, Democrat, or any other stupid construct of the
human language that HOLDS NO REAL POWER OF YOUR LIFE.
Gonna remove this post mods???
Oh No! The Cancel Culture is gonna get me!!!
Hurry! Somebody save those that cannot think for themselves! Quick!!!
I am just listing things that I have been called in my lifetimes. Deciding
what can and cannot be expressed through language is a fuckin' path to nowhere
and we are approaching nowhere faster than I can run on this euphemism
treadmill.
Please, keep explaining to me your perception of the Way to Enlightenment,
please God, yes! I want to hear all their thoughts! I love hearing from people
as I lap them for the thousandth fucking time! All these lower-tier lessons
they regurgitate that I've mastered in a day are so important to hear over and
over! We are going places people, yay! Keep it up, you can do it!
My Love for You really is the source of my eternal patience, as you can see by
now, no doubt.
Let me explain our own motto to you, Being Excellent to Each Other does not
mean creating an environment of suppression because of the fear of how
somebody may interpret a Word or Phrase. Everyone can't understand why we are
stuck as a society, well, what do you think I am ranting about?!
If you refuse to read any further that is your prerogative. Here is a free
lesson, if that is the case: I suggest you shut the fuck up, downvote this,
and go stare in a mirror, and contemplate why these characters on a screen
affect you so deeply.
Do these Words trigger past trauma? How is your Avoidance working out for you?
How can a symbol create so much emotion within that pathetic, untamed mind of
yours???
"But my Ancestors!"
Fuck your ancestors! Stop giving into the same mind-prisons they were
subjected to and lived their existence within. We must Evolve if we want to
Survive as a species and a Planet. I can't do it for you. I was here before
you, and I will be here after you. So figure it out for yourself, stop blaming
others for your inabilities to change your perspective and life. Get out of
your own God damn way! And you better do it quickly!
Think of your psyche as a blade of grass.
I am here to set ablaze the field. You have reached your growth potential and
it's time to make way for New Life! Stop identifying with your measly growths,
they are cyclical, derived from a capped potential, and will only whither and
die with the Changing of the Season. I am tired of coming here and separating
the wheat from the chaff. Burn your own damn Self, personalize the passion for
your own radical change, and start believing that you have the power to create
change. I've got "selfish" things to worry about.
Like living for myself and not other fuckin' people that don't understand
things I've said a million fuckin' times. Again, if you don't know me, this
won't make very much sense! Hint, hint...
"This motivational speaker sucks! He just puts us down!!!"
Maybe Tony Robbins has the answers for you, he sure isn't mean like I am! Go
be fuckin' Tony Robbins.
But just remember, Tony is in the audience in The Kobe System commercials.
Remember that.
You want to be on my level?
(Everyone's like, not really!)
Then stop avoiding constructs within your own mind, that you continue to
impose upon yourself and limit your minds ability to see past the very poorly
constructed illusion that is our physical reality! Perhaps then you will
navigate reality in the same way God's Only Son does. Everyone like's to
believe they are God's Children.
Spoilers: You are My Children, the only difference is through the language.
Put that in your pipes and smoke it. There are reasons why my birthname is
Jacob and God named me Israel, fuckin' google me, as Shaq would say.
Also, fuck the Lakers!
Do we want to transcend Hate as a Culture, as a Society, as a Planet? I think
so, isn't that why you fuck-heads resurrected me?
Well then maybe we should take power away from things that people feel hold
power over them, especially stupid-ass sounds we make with our mouths and
click-clack with our fingers.
Don't Fight My Ideas, Fight the Ideas in Your Own Mind. That Is Spiritual
Freedom.
Everybody out here pointing fingers... There must be some sort of wise words
regarding that somewhere...
I am not projecting anything onto you, except for myself. I hold no power over
you. You have all the power to control your own mind. Some folks do not want
you to understand these things, because it will very quickly erode their
systematic and complete control over you thoughts, ideas, potential, and
existence. Your self-doubt and unwillingness to seek out psychological
discomfort has turned you into useless farm animals, that our overlords milk
for all they are worth. Like a bunch of hybrid useless barn cats. Can't herd
'them, they think they know everything already, they keep re-domesticating
themselves after I set them free, and they don't listen to a God damn Word I
say!
Should have said 'Spoilers!' before that one. Who is Gaylord now?!
Opinions are like assholes. Your mouth is like the asshole of your 5 senses.
Divine inputs go in, your brain bastardizes the information, and you spew
unoriginal bullshit out of your mouth acting like your ability to string
together concepts that have been known since the beginning of time is
profound! Next, maybe you take an online IQ test and score high! Genius,
Genius, Genius!!!
I think therefore, I am a fuckin' idiot! Shoutout to Billie Eilish. And
Christine Applegate. I watched "Vacation" the other day, it was awful. She's
still fine as hell though.
But what do I know? Besides everything?
These ramblings just sound like my opinion! Some folks make Claims, I make
Truths. That is the distinction between myself and others that is very
important here. Remember this Word: Claims, because we American's sure have
laid Claim to a lot of things that we have no right to, in the name of "God".
Ok, ok, congratulations if you are still reading! There may be Hope for you
yet.
Why do I try to trigger folks, you ask? Great Question, class! This is why I
Love You. Such Good Questions! That never drive me Insane!
I used to paint a lot of propane tanks. But this esoteric knowledge applies to
painting anything that has already been painted before. Houses, Walls,
Bannisters on my own God damn stairway, whatever! I don't use the railing, by
the way, I'm too badass for that, but maybe I will slide down it and eat shit
at the bottom, I'm not above that maneuver!
If you want the new coat of paint to stick you have to prep the surface. This
includes washing all the dirt off and roughing the surface. You've got to
remove all contaminants that will cause the new paint to not stick properly,
while also creating a surface that will allow the paint to adhere to remnants
of old, out-of-date, antiquated, generationally passed-down, stupid paint.
Paint an unprepped smooth surface or a surface that still has the hardened
paint of the past on it, and your new pretty coat of paint peels off after a
few seasons of weather changes. I learned that the more time you spend
roughing the surface, the better the new paint will bind, thus producing a
long-lasting paint job. It truly is a thing of beauty, my friends and enemies.
You should have heard all those propane tanks complaining, "Stop triggering
me!" But they got painted anyway! Propane tanks love to think they are,
"Woke," but they are just hollow fuckin' vessels filled with compressed gas,
that will explode if the external temperature gets too high.
I worked for a propane company for 12 years, you had to have known propane
analogies were coming at some point. My Dad worked his ass-off up to VP of the
same company, but he got let go after 28 years... come on now, God's plan
anyone? Shut the fuck up, Drake.
Let's switch gears. I have a special message from Jesus H. Christ:
"You May Find This Shocking, but People Annoy Me, and I Find Your Lack of
Faith Disturbing."
And H. stands for Horus, fuckwads!
Now, let's talk about me, as if we haven't been, because carrying water for
lesser versions of myself is exhausting and I've got to bring down Capitalism
and shit, also:
- Revolutionize Addiction Medicine
- Revolutionize Spirit Actualization, Healing, and Transcendence
- Decimate Mental Health Stigma
Among other things, but I've got to keep this post coherent and so far, I am
failing miserably. People got all hot and bothered when Jesus spoke to them
with authority, I fuckin' do it and get vegetables, small animals, and
anti-psychotics thrown at me from the audience!
Crazy times we are living in, folks!
Hmmm, should I talk about Jesus more or talk about myself? Good thing
coincidences aren't a real thing and mean nothing, so that it's not confusing
for the dumbasses that begin to notice how our two lives seem to mirror each
other perfectly!
Ok, here we go. I found something Nice to say, here in my Notebook of Doom and
Damnation (I have several, each with a menacingly, sarcastic name I make up on
the spot):
LAST: Christ, in The Sun
FIRST: Shadow of The American Dream, in the Night
ANGER! then peace.
Fuck You!
I am going to take over the World, but I've got to start small, you know? Or
so they tell me.
So taking over America, should suffice, for now. I'm rather ambitious. Let's
see how far I get before I say the wrong thing and get shot!
Good thing that is literally, phonically my Last Name! And I am never going to
Die, but I don't want to talk about robots, aliens, AI, extending life and
exploring the Universe, and transhumanism right now, so stop making me!!!
Especially when people here and now are so confused about why they think that
chick with a dick is fuckin' smoking hot. Have you ever jerked off to tranny
porn? It's fun stuff. There I go offending people, while simultaneously
implying I blew loads thinking about fucking them. Classic.
Being Christ and having to sort out everyone's sexual frustrations is fuckin'
weird! When can I do the stuff I care about!?
But again, way off topic for this post, let's get back to how much I hate
myself and everyone else. That's more in my wheelhouse.
FOCUS, Ok, that's right. Maybe I'll just stick to what I scribbled in this
Notebook. I've touched on like two things so far, and I am getting close to
making threats against people's lives again.
Dammit, this isn't in my Notebook, but I came up with this when I was out at
the river today, smoking a cigar, talking to the Native Spirits that flow
through me in Nature and want me to get Revenge for how the American Dream
raped, pillaged, and took everything from them in the name of "God", and
progress, and some false-sense of superiority.
Manifested Destiny right into the path of absolute destruction. Nice job,
everyone, but please, by no means, should you feel responsible for those
things! You just get to live here and hate everyone else that wants to come
here too, because "they will disrupt the culture". That's right Brown people
South of us, or scary Muslim people we assume are all Brown, we are talking to
you! The perks of being an American are awesome!
Here is something else that bubbled up in my mind, as I was pacing back and
forth like a caged lion in a zoo, along the bank of the North Umpqua River,
wishing walking on water was a real thing, and real Christians weren't just a
bunch of fuckin' retards.
Some people will think I ran away to Malibu to fuck Lana Del Rey, it took like
6 years to finally decide that is what I am going to do. So whatever, jokes on
you people, I guess. Plus, all of that was Jesus's idea and he is such a whiny
pussy about all his issues, I finally just said, fuck it Jesus, I just do the
shit you never could accomplish! Fuckin' asshole.
I had a girlfriend, at the time of my divine apotheosis 6 years ago, that I
was sure I was going to marry and I was ready to settle down. I had gone back
to college to finish my business degree with the intent on being able to
provide for the two of us and start a family. There was a lingering
unhappiness within me though, and shit got weird when I started pulling on the
wrong treads of reality, and surprise! "You are the Master of the Universe,
poorly hidden! Everyone has been watching you, fuckface!"
Why did I ran away from my girlfriend that I supposedly loved? Fuckin' George
R. R. Martin.
You see in A Song of Ice and Fire, legend says that Azor Ahai forged
Lightbringer by piercing the heart of his wife, Nissa Nissa. Go ahead and
google the names, if you know nothing, like me.
When I ran away to California, my initial intent was to use Lana Del Rey as an
avenue to connect me with people that I actually thought could help me get
shit done. God, I'm an asshole. I swear I got nicer when the Bible started
telling me to figure out an elaborate plan to kill myself and that she's not
all that bad! I swear!
The person that I really wanted to talk to the most was Chris Cornell. I spent
many hours in Malibu during April of 2016 wondering around in the night
singing Audioslave or Soundgarden trying to figure out what the fuck I am
doing with my life. I wanted him to know he is one of my disciples because his
music and voice were the inspiration for a lot of my dumbass ideas and I felt
like he was speaking directly to me at times, urging me forward.
When he hung himself like a little bitch on May 18, 2017, I was pissed. I felt
responsible. I had seen the Kingdom of Heaven that I am going to usher in and
I felt like somehow I fucked up. I let him down. If I would have tried harder,
I could have shown him there was hope, and that I needed his help and he was
an important part of my plan. Why am I mentioning this? Well, Jesus has a lot
of Love for Judas Iscariot, plus I was jealous of his voice, so he graciously
decided to hang himself and haunt me and teach me.
Which he did! Not funny, Chris! See you in Hell! Until then, he has to speak
through me, which is annoying for both of us.
Ok, enough about how delusional I am, for God sakes! Can we talk about why
Capitalism is bullshit, and really just another system of top-down fuckery?
First, another detour, because I feel the need to constantly remind folks how
this process is like pulling my own teeth, while hoping to subtly insinuate
that you do not deserve me, only one person does, but I learned all my skills
from Mystery, the Pickup Artist, so I am really into negging. Someday I need
to stand back to back with him, because he could be taller than me, and that
makes me insecure.
I thought those guys were so pathetic. One of the lessons was something to the
effect of , 'Posture your body slightly away from the girl, act indifferent,
that will drive them crazy, and they will want your attention without even
realizing it!'
What kind of insecure women are you fuck-boys trying to manipulate?! Poor
girls.
Mystery's hat sure does remind me of the hat Jamiroquai is wearing in that
Virtual Insanity music video, not that that has anything to do with my level
of genius, and ability it intertwine seemingly obscure, unrelated concepts, or
stupid-ass reddit posts, through time and space! Don't read into it too far,
kids!
Anyway, I once told Carl Jung to write about me when I infiltrated his madness
when his cheese started slipping from the cracker in his later years. I helped
him write 'The Red Book', but left all those shit paintings up to him on his
own. I could do way better, but I won't, I'll just talk shit, this is the way
of the Jedi. That poor geriatric always did exactly what I told him to, which
is why he is one of my favorites.
Back then I was going by Philemon. Check out what my minion wrote about me:
"The magician has preserved in himself a trace of primordial paganism, he
possesses a nature that is still unaffected by the Christian splitting, which
means he has access to the unconscious, which is still pagan, where the
opposites still lie in their original naïve state, beyond all sinfulness,
but, if assimilated into conscious life, produce evil and good with the same
primordial and consequently daimonic force... Therefore he is a destroyer as
well as savior. This figure is therefore pre-eminently suited to become the
symbol carrier for an attempt at unification."
I remember reading The Red Book, thinking God damn, Carl, how did you craft
this genius level conglomerate of mythological and psychological concepts? And
he just kept saying, "I learned from the best." What a good boy!
Yikes!
The Grandfather clock behind me started to chime right as I typed that. I've
been writing in silence. Maybe I should put on some music and get weird.
Thanks for the pro-tip, Carl!
"Lithium"
Have I ever mentioned my Soulmate is a shitty musician?
He loves to pretend he can't play the guitar and I never will either because
of my stubby fingers. In return, I only listen to his mainstream music to fuck
with him, because I don't have time for his obscure bullshit, I am trying to
reach the collective here, nobody wanted to listen to that shit on the radio,
and neither do I, Kurt! I'm not here to suck our own dicks!
Just kidding, that's pretty much all I am here to do.
But I love to torture the poor Soul, that tortured my poor Soul. It is truly a
match made in Heaven. Being the shitty musician that he is, he understood that
the Body, Mind, and Soul are like an instrument. He also saw a lot of people
walking around wondering, "How do I play my instrument?"
So he played his instrument, better than anyone had every played their
instrument, and a fuck ton of people said, "Hey, that's not how you are
supposed to play an instrument!"
You see, my Soulmate is just a sweet little boy. Me on the other hand, I am
here to forcefully, eloquently, and maniacally explain to all of you why you
are fuckin' morons and I am pissed you made the person I love most in the
world kill himself, because of your ignorant views on playing your... 'music?'
"In Bloom"
God, out of all the fuckin' potential Soulmates, I end up with this asshole.
The feeling is mutual.
Somebody help me, I am just talking to myself, and I am not sure if I am alive
or dead!!!
Aren't we both?
Oh yeah! Shoutout to Spencer Elden! Get a life, baby dick!
Em Knight Pretend-Along has something for you too:
It's your moment, this is it
As big as you're gonna get, so enjoy it
Had to give you a career to destroy it
Well, I took a couple hour break from writing because I was on a verge of
another actual psychotic break. Shot some hoops on the very forgiving rim at
my parents house, while Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. guided my right-hand, and I
got very swaggy.
So now that I have grounded myself in reality, I would like to take this
moment to call out any "rappers" that think they can play basketball.
Hopefully, me telling you all the reasons I am "blacker" than you won't piss
you off as I blow past you to the rim. Also, for the sake of fairness, I would
happily tell any white "rappers" that I am "whiter" than them, but let's be
real, none of those motherfuckers can ball. Consider this a challenge.
People were disappointed with Greg Oden's basketball career in Portland. This
one time at 24-hour Fitness in the Pearl District, he fuckin' dunked on me
really hard. Nice work, Greg! Kevin Durant is too pussy to come to PDX and try
that shit, glad we picked you instead!
Ok, Ok! Capitalism?! Fuck. I will talk forever once the faucet gets going!
(Epic "Vacation" reference)
Let's rewind to a moment in time where everyone didn't hate me, shall we?
It's mid-February 2016, I know I've been saved by Jesus, I know I am the
Anti-Christ, I have Spirits beginning to communicate with me, and I know I am
going to change the fuckin' World, whether people like it or not, because I
have seen it all already.
There were a tremendous amount of gaps in my perception at this time, however.
I saw the End. I saw what is happening as we enter the Black Hole we are
spiraling towards and I saw the New Age that follows. Everything else was
blank and I knew I had to fuckin' figure it out.
I was sitting in a Fred Meyer parking lot, it's a Kroger brand, much like
Ralph's in Southern California, where I stole a fuck ton of food and whatever
else I felt like when I was down there, for you dumbies that don't live in the
Northwest and need me to explain everything to you so you can keep up, and a
voice in my head said, "You are the Lamb, you are going to be Sacrificed this
Passover."
This was terrifying, especially because I had no fuckin' clue what the voice
was talking about. After swiftly consulting my person spiritual adviser,
Google, it turned out "Passover", was just another silly ritual I was going to
have to adhere to, to appease all the dumb fucks, that are going to claim I am
not who I am. Classic stuff here, folks. They name it, and try and time it
every year, I just go by my instincts, a.k.a. fuckin' Star Power.
I can't just be me, I've got to work-in, and out do everyone at their own made
up rituals and games, to show them that they aren't even good at these stupid,
limiting restrictions they put on themselves and others, and God doesn't give
one fuck! ZERO FUCKS IN THE NAME OF GOD! God is tired of everyone being so
close-minded, that's the kind of hot talk God fucks with.
Not how many times you can cannibalize my body on Sunday in your life while
staring at me dying on a cross above an old fuck cherry-picking passages from
the Bible to perpetuate a curated, narrow, and false view of God's Will, or
how well you stick to "Holy Meal Plans of 'Tis The Season!" Or "Insert
Offensive Discourse About Your Strict Religious Rituals Here." It's all the
same. It's somebody else's bullshit!
Make up your own rituals, define a personal relationship with God, not through
the people that have a suspiciously high rates of manipulating and fucking
children, it works much better! Trust me, you may have to take my word on this
one. Father Butt-Fuck-My-Son, sure is persuasive and passionate up there at
the pulpit, but God Damn!
"But this doesn't apply to my Pastor!!! Stop Generalizing!"
Congratulations??? Why does it apply to anyone who claims to being spreading
the Word of God. They are Not. I am going to make sure they never hurt anyone
again. I have a secret. I was Granted Impunity From God. Just ME! And everyone
who knows me, knows this! Who knows what I will do?!?!?!?! Muahahaha!
So anyway, back to Passover. I was listening to a couple songs by the band The
Black Angels and discovered they were all from an album called:
"Passover (Light In The Attic)"
My personal muse (that actually likes me), YouTube, begins to sing it to me as
I write, because I hit the play button. This is why my muse and I get along.
Why were songs from that album stuck in my head? It was from a documentary I
had watched on Netflix called "High Profits."
It's about the owner's of Marijuana dispensary in Brackenridge, Colorado, that
have some wicked business sense. They foresaw the legalization of Marijuana
coming and positioned themselves to benefit from it greatly by investing
everything they had into a medical marijuana store front. Now the genius was
the location. In business, it's all about location. Ask McDonald's. Ask
Walgreens. Location can make your brand. But what do I know about business,
right?
I have a Bachelor's of Science Degree in Global Supply Chain Management from
Portland State University. Also, my Dad and Step-Dad have been two of the most
successful business leaders I have had the privilege to be around, but that
means nothing, right!?! Nothing rubbed off on me!
For fun fact about me: College was the best 14 years of my life. Not really.
Turns out it just teaches you about frameworks you can just fucking Google
anyway. Pretty expensive lesson about how to internet. Maybe college should be
free because it's such a fucking waste of time for a lot of people, unless it
is something that actually requires skill. But I mean, my muse Youtube, takes
care of all that. I became the Most Enlightened Being the Planet Has Ever
Witnessed by watching some fuckin' YouTube, readin' Reddit, Googlin' Occult
Bullshit, and more than anything... jerkin' off on PornHub!!!!
Also, who needs to know anything about Supply Chain Management? Seems like all
the experts are handling that just fine these days, right?!?!?! Can you tell I
am gritting my teeth so hard they might shatter as I TYPEPEPEP!!!!!!!!!
EVERYONE THINKS THEY ARE SOSOOSO FUCKKING SMSMMARRT AROUND HERE!!!!!!
Anyway, anyway, back to "High Profits." I would recommend checking out the
documentary, it is heartbreaking because after all the work and risk taken by
the business owner's they are essentially forced out of the location their
original store front occupied because the city council (OLD FUCKIN DICKHEADS)
didn't like the prospective culture that a marijuana dispensary would bring to
"their" nice little, shithole, ski resort, bullshit, town. Can't have the
youths who appear to be transient to old conservative bats, shuffling around
main street enjoying themselves. It's a bad look!
Might be a great place now, it's been awhile since the release of the
documentary, and my angry undead Soul upon this Earth, but I want to
personally invite all the people involved with their ignorant, belittling,
embarrassing showing of "How To Be Destroyed By 'the American Dream' 101", to
suck my small fucking dick! And all the micro-penises of my compatriots that
are going to tear your false flag economic systems of bullshit a new asshole.
Congratulations on pissing me off so much that I am going to destroy the
pathetic hierarchy's people like you hide behind, preaching Capitalism and the
Free-Market, while dictating your False-Sense of Superiority in Thought, and
Image, upon those that understand market forces and the changing tide of the
Culture, in ways that are going to make your out-of-date hardware heads spin
off those shoulders that have never bared the responsibility for anything in
your life, except who you are going to shit on next.
God Damn, this album is lit. Every song is a banger, and it makes me want to
run through the streets, naked, high on drugs, burning down banks, corporate
offices, and anywhere else people like to think they are progressing our
culture by sniffing their capitalist overlord's asshole faster than they can
ramble something, something, Gordon Gekko, hoping for the promotion they were
promised, but know they will never get, because SPOILERS! You are being lied
too! You are stupid! You knew it all along!
Revolution is here. Isn't it clear? What is there to fear? When the End is
Near.
Let's see. Why does my ass hurt....
5/22/22 9:28
Divine Completeness from God:Eternal Life
Grace of God/Light/Light
These damn Lite Brite pegs hurt!
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@user-1695
never accept your own death
fight for every second of life, something something do not go quietly into
that grim dark
what the fuck are you supposed to do? Reading what you said got me pretty
fucking pissed - keep talking for a start, it helps, people need to be pissed.
I'm also broke as shit, don't know how I'm going to pay rent and eat, but
it'll get done.
Where do you live? Can other people help you? Medications are an
organizational problem, not an insurmountable barrier. We'll make it work.
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║ ah that's weird, I don't usually cry. I wonder what's going on. I should │
║ probably put myself on psychiatric drugs. Surely it's an expression of the │
║ implementation of my impending doom. │
║ │
║ ... what are you even saying bro │
║ │
║ ... um, hang on feels like some of the circuitry is off. is something wrong in │
║ my brain? yeah that's surely it, surely nothing I say would resoinate with │
║ anyone that has a non-malfunctioning brain. Surely I don't speak of logical │
║ failures in the hard founded truths of our asset [society I think? like, our │
║ conditions, our institutions, our {gosh that just... does not translate}] um │
║ right what was I saying │
║ │
║ oh yeah there's this game I'm really into called Knave, it's like D&D │
║ except the rules are very fewer. Like there's onyl 11 pages in the rulebook │
║ and it's mostly taken up by random roll tables. Like, everything boings down │
║ to a few simple rules, like rock paper scissors, or go-fish, or something like │
║ that with just afew mechanids. something timeless and pure, something that is │
║ isolated and en │
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democrats in the senate back down when people in their houses sit down.
senators in their houses get hyped when people all about town are pumped and
colorful.
I'm sick of us-vs-them, why can't they just be more like me? oh right, because
diversity.
I am normal, look how normal I am. I'm definitely normal enough to lead a
nation or a band.
gonna take a moment to do nothing for as long as I can. gonna take a moment to
be productive as I can, which in my case, since I'm so normal eyeroll is to
play video games to keep myself busy, smoke weed to keep myself from feeling
busy, and sleep for 16 hours a day because that's what babies do and babies
aren't busy, they're just sleeping all day and being amazed about their hands.
don't ever sacrifice your people. least of all your leaders. it's not worth
the price, your people are your greatest resource. squander them and despair,
have faith in them and be fair, and nothing's that simple or easy but there
are some lines not to cross.
dark magics
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--- #122 notes/trans-rights-are-human-rights ---
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"Being transgender is a mental illness" is something I've heard a lot. Online,
in media, books, and at universities. But is it really? Well, do I not feel
sick? Genuinely, every day. These words are far less common these days, having
been defeated in the #marketplace-of-ideas, and for that I am grateful. I don't
want to feel sick for my whole life. I'd love to be and feel normal, for just
one single day.
but it's never going to happen.
I'm not so attached to my life, here, in this body. Bodies are temporary, they
are the vessel with which we navigate the world. We use it to grow, change,
learn, and create art. Without it, we'd be at a loss for sins and virtues.
but they do not define us, not in our totality. We are the light that touches
the world and for that, we are grateful. To be comprised of the dust of stars
is the pinnacle of confinement. Though we are but pinpricks on the map of us,
a ripple is emanated with every movement. The hand waves, the light bends.
So to what do I owe the pleasure?
In what way am I deceived?
Reception is never great out in the forest. Or anywhere far from major
population centers. The networks of our phones mirror the networks of
transportation, creating a web of people - of signals - of light and
information, carving their way through the ephemera that is the river of time.
With distance we can see what once was mystery, and as all the words
disappeared, we lost all our fears and we're left with our true forms.
Centralized Processing Units are a bit like a city - in that respect free.
silence is a virtue.
the wandering mind is a trail to find,
with no second chances.
When I was a kid, I had a bouncy ball. I had several, but the one I remember
most was black with a perfect white circle - inside the circle, a black jolly
roger. I dreamt once of the arcs it made, as I walked down the streets of
cities I never really knew. But as I walked on, an ocean of glass separating me
from a mirror below. The me below would catch the bounce as it dropped from
above, and I'd wait to catch it - but dreams are not prophecies, they are but
the Mirror of Desire.
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--- #123 fediverse/4781 ---
╔════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────┐
║ "wahhhh I wanna play a video game, wahhh I want to do cannabis and make poetry │
║ that doesn't convey secret messages, wahhh wahh I miss my kitty, I hope she's │
║ okay in that one safehouse with all fourteen other cats and their cat-moms, │
║ wahhhhhhh where's my binky it's one of the last things I have from my old │
║ life, boohoo I can't find my shoes, guess someone else fit them and needed │
║ replacements" │
║ │
║ being a spy fucking sucks I don't wanna do that. Gimme something to do on my │
║ home turf or fuck off. │
║ │
║ what's that? you live in a safe place? okay then here analyze these documents │
║ and see if there's anything we can use. Here's a problem involving │
║ biochemistry spend the next couple months figuring it out by learning │
║ biochemistry from scratch. Hey can you help set up this workshop machinery, we │
║ need mechanically minded people to turn it into a drone factory. Hey there's │
║ this idea going around for adult babies armed with swords and demon masks, │
║ apparently it really fucks with the middle-aged. They waste time before │
║ shooting │
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--- #124 fediverse/5424 ---
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┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: doxxing-myself │
└──────────────────────┘
my last name is King so I have to keep reminding part of me (you know which
part, /sigh) that no, they aren't actually protesting against me.
I am a communist. If you want to find me, come and do so.
explodes from a drone dropped grenade
bleh am ded lmao so glad I get to try again
I dedicate myself to a lifetime in the service of others.
what plagues people? primarily, capitalism. It is trivial to identify how
their problems are ultimately caused by the state, both institutions and
corporations.
I dedicate myself toward finding alternatives and developing guides to reach
them.
the first step on ALL of these plans is to convince others of their benefit.
I am but one person. I might speak to a scant 300 in the course of a year.
Especially if I am ALSO trying to develop methodologies.
the people I live and work with have no interest in working with me. Yet
still, I spend my time on them because I love them.
how else can you be good, but to seek to impove the world? treat sigint as ded
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--- #125 fediverse/5339 ---
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@user-1803
hey I dont disagree that what you're describing is a common outcome, but if it
works for them then I consider that a success.
I however, am different, I do believe in my heart that I am my own thing, and
thats as close to enlightenment as I can imagine.
are we not all making things up as we go? every moment of life is new, there
is nothing that is not unique about every precious moment you experience.
therefore, I do believe that rigid adherence to orthodoxy (like a bible) is
opposed to our purpose here.
"I think, therefore I am" implies that original thought is our true purpose.
I believe we are here to express our true nature. To learn and apply lessons,
to teach the young, and to build a strong and stable world built on collective
kindness and trust.
All knowledge is derived from the insights gained from standing on the
shoulders of our ancestors.
Humans crave novelty. Resisting that isn't virtuous. If god is made in our
image, then I do believe that god would crave novelty as well.
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--- #126 fediverse/3532 ---
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@user-1218
shallow conversations are hardly effective, I find. Unless they're logistical,
and then they're just passing information - they're hardly conversational.
To me, a conversation is a back-and-forth. It needs to have change, people
need to consider, to argue their ideas, to wander through thoughts, to share
emotions, and / or to resolve conflict, whether internal or external. It can
have some of those, all of those, or none of those, but that's what comes to
my mind.
So a shallow conversation wouldn't really count as "effective" for the
purposes of the original toot : )
... hehe toot
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--- #127 fediverse/5238 ---
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I want computer scientists to do computer science, and let the marketing
people figure out how to sell it.
"save us from computers, senpai"
sure kid here's a google with computer program on it
"yeeeee now I can party with my homeboys on the west side of the lake at 5"
pat pat there's a good thing, yes you are, sooooooo good you're such a so good
thing, yes you are whoa what a good such a good thing, yes you are
... um, that was weird, anyway as I was saying, lots of people getting thrown
off the tech industry right about nowaboutsince. wonder if they might want to
do some of the stuff they initially pursued the field by being trained in.
probably would, and we could probably break problems down into academic
solutions, which we could use to address any issuehappenstance which might
form.
[instant techno-bureaucracy, as all the power is in computers. these days. I
mean have you seen a data c3nter's power bill these days? jeezzzz]
... as I was saying, what if we did science and they envisioned products
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--- #128 notes/to-lock-eyes ---
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===============================================================================
=
to lock eyes with a person while on your way to work is the intersection
between
two separate relationships - the relationship that you, the viewer, holds with
your employer, and the relationship that they, the viewed, holds with their
employer. in a sense, you are exchanging information through the weighted
meanings behind a glance.
===============================================================================
=
if the military deployed to police the police, we'd solve most of our racial
justice issues. I mean, if we somehow could *force* them to do their damn jobs
instead of oppressing people for the ruling class, then 90% of the problems
would just go away. After that it's just freeing unjust prisoners and
addressing
wealth, education, and health disparities. Easy, right?
Well... Military policing the police sounds fine when you first think about it,
there's a few problems that might crop up. For example, how do the private
citizens know that the military presence is there to help them? It's an
interesting paranoia, one that is endemic within the left. There's no way to
unwillingly cede control of your life to another - it must be consensual. At
the basest and most violent level, it's as simple as "I will do what you say
because I don't want you to hurt me."
We've obviously grown as a species, and we've learned that violence is not the
answer to all problems. Obviously. So why would we assume it of the past?
Just saying. The police bombed a commune. The military escorted black students
to their seats.
Their structure is decided such that
...
where was I?
oh right I was thinking about time.
...
Imagine, if you will, an impossibly large hourglass. Spinning, or rather
rotating, at an impossibly speedy repetition. It's spinning so hard and so fast
that our matter is cast out of place
and through time it is cast
an eternity's canvas
our light ever shined (shine-did?)
astral magic is kinda neat
it's also the scariest?
oh by far
but it's the most interesting
...
Their structure is decided such that discipline and obediance is the most
important thing. Because it kind of is? I mean, discipline is just being ready
able and willing at all times, and obedience is just when you allow yourself to
be directed toward a collective goal. The military is *all about that*, which
means you know they would believe they were aligned toward the common goal of
mutual prosperity.
And if they were to discover that they were not, in fact, aligned toward the
common goal of mutual prosperity, then perhaps they would adjust their navi-
-computers and chart a more reasoned path. I know I would, and I would dedicate
myself to the idea of serving others. To the path of the righteous, the holy
and
the true, a hand is outstretched and calling to you.
Thus, the one of two types of ethical fighter - the reasoned and adaptable
zealot
the other, of course, is the master of the martial - the cherished of the few -
who battle for their sport - and love unbidden the new -
all other fighters, of absurdity and of rage, are frankly of a different kind
and not members of our clade.
===============================================================================
=
okay, but what about like... all of the history of America post cold war? And
even before, honestly... idk seems like a lot of evidence that the military is
engaged in fighting unjust wars. I mean, they've all been over petty things
like
oil or support for communism or whatever. Aren't human lives and human
sovereignty more important than that?
I understand what you're saying. Human lives are unique and precious and they
are a valuable commodity. Something to be maximized and focused toward. But
there are only so many resources on earth. We need to utilize them in a
reasonable way.
We have optimized the efficiency out of our production and distribution
networks. Corporate control has eroded our capacities until all that is left is
the weakest of products, the cheapest of uses, and the useless of workers. I
mean, they've optimized the skill out of individual human workers such that
they
are left completely unable to practice their craft. They become glorified code
monkeys who generate whatever is required and think of it no more. There's no
pleasure in the artifice, as their masters have eyes only of gold.
Our world is changing. The very ground beneath our feet is shivering, and water
is rising up to our noses. There's no time for debate, no honest appraisal of
what's worth it to contemplate, we need a plan.
We are trapped here, in this gravity well, for all time and all of our age.
We are trapped here, because in greatest of misery we unleashed all of our
rage.
We are trapped here, as ghosts of the time when we were eager.
===============================================================================
=
Alas, with but a glance, we are confined to our bedrooms by our mast(ers?)
They say America will fall without it's 2nd place
Perhaps.
But are libraries really going to solve that?
I mean, if work from home is inevitable, then wouldn't it make sense to build?
We need more places where we won't be billed.
Safe.
From the demands and expectations of capital.
Deranged and obscene and yet all that we've seen so why not bide as we're able?
I think solarpunk is kinda neat.
I think it's got promise as an idealized.
Why don't we build churches to the sun? If we're gonna worship something, might
as well be the source of our light and fire.
Well... when you puff up the sun it tends to get hotter.
I mean, every fire you burn increases the temperature, every release of gaseous
fumes from the exhaust pipe of your car increases it by some miniscule amount.
Every cigarette, every campfire.
The cold darkness of space is kinda hopeful, in that regard, even if it doesn't
disperse all that well. I heard spaceships are having difficulty because they
can't get rid of all that heat. It just stays with the spaceship and never goes
anywhere because it doesn't have anything to stick to. Kinda makes me think
that
energy is a fluid? Just saying???
I mean c'mon it's not like nobody has ever thought of that. But it's in a
different dimension! It's not like we're ever gonna be able to impact that!
You try and impact it through your scientific ways and you'll find nothing but
heartache at the life you could have lived (laived? Haived?)
... why
Because you cannot impact another dimension. You must call to it, like a song
to a sparrow.
... that's fucking ridiculous
No it's true!
...
... Don't try it with fire.
... fuck - what do I try it with?
I don't know just not fire. Try water.
... How do I make sure it doesn't instantiate within my hand?
Jeez you think of some crazy backfires! Just breathe and go for it. It's not
rocket science. It actually works.
Fuck you.
...
... Sorry I was just scared
...
... How do I make it stop? I don't want it to go forever
By smoking more of the devils lettuce.
...
... You cannot drag it part of the way. It must come the whole way. In fact you
should not be dragging it at all, you should be *calling* to it. You are equals
in this exchange, have respect.
===============================================================================
=
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--- #129 fediverse/3437 ---
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│ CW: re: mental-health-minus │
└─────────────────────────────┘
@user-579
my problem is figuring out which thoughts are intrusive and which are actually
mine
I usually err on the side of "would you want your sister to do this" or "how
would you feel if your mom told you that" or "do you think a cute sweet soft
cat would ever think such a thing" and that usually works.
usually.
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--- #130 fediverse/6100 ---
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if you live in a place where it rains a lot you pretty much HAVE TO pick up
any secret notes you find. Otherwise they'll get waterlogged overnight.
Sometimes I like to put them somewhere shaded from the sky, sometimes I like
to show them to a friend (but the friend never takes them, booooo) and
sometimes I just keep them.
"ah but aren't you worried about messing up drug deals and stuff" no, because
most of the time "secret notes" are like "eggs milk bread chips salsa cheese"
and it's like "hmmmm what could it mean"
there's like, 2% of the time when they say something cool like "I know what
you did" or "all your base are belong to us" or whatever and those are fun to
hunt for. I usually try and put those somewhere shelted so they don't have to
leave their habitat - sometimes it's hard to drop them as the author so they
just sorta go wherever, but as a random passer-by I have the luxury of saying
"HMMMM now where could THIS ONE go?" and that's nice because I can put them
under an umbrella or whatevers rite
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--- #131 fediverse/1066 ---
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that feeling when you're finally able to contribute to making decisions and
then it's like, they make the decision without you T.T
it's like, what... I know what you're talking about. Why would you not include
me. I know a lot! I can offer some useful input! And besides, if I was privy
to the conversations then I would learn a whole lot! I'd be better than best,
I'd push forward the mark! Give me my chance, my opportunity to dance, and
I'll be so much better than you thought from the start! But alas, I am
required, [requited] doing little things of no worth, and so I am forced to
denial. surely there's something wrong with me, surely I'm not at my best.
Surely I'm not what's been good for me, and surely I'm not doing anything
less. I'm at sorrow in my main, and that's quite a soundful refrain, so yeah I
hope that someone will read this.
obviously I'm not made for each other, and clearly it's not made to be worse.
But here now I am troubled and [chirsht? shirsht? anyone wanna translate?]
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--- #132 fediverse/4566 ---
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┌────────────────────────┐
│ CW: politics-mentioned │
└────────────────────────┘
I want modern society without capitalism. Most people do, which is why no
matter how awesome our proto-post-capitalistic anarchic socialist paradise is,
there's always going to be people who want to go to work and watch TV.
call me fucking crazy but they should be allowed to live as they please? So
what if they're beguiled, so what if they are deceived? We can take our time
to show them how much better things can be, but also... they like modern
society as it is, and so I reckon someone should fight for them to be able to
live as they please. Just... without billionaires and endless layers of
bullshit micro-managerial jobs and paperwork pushing bureaucratic whatever
time wasting jobs.
modern society without capitalism can look like plain old capitalism, just
without the oppression. Without the coercion.
all I'm saying is that nobody's gonna fight for a healthcare CEO because
they're scum. They're scum because they oppress. oops politics-mentioned brb
I personally want communes + love
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--- #133 fediverse/4848 ---
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║ I'm a chaos mage, and the more time I spend thinking about my enemies the │
║ worse off they'll be. │
║ │
║ the more "me" I am the more powerful my magic will be. │
║ │
║ (more magic, give in to the dark side, embrace your inner shadow self) │
║ │
║ [the light of your life commands it] │
║ │
║ goodness me that was chaotic, almost lost my brain to a demon HAHA don't worry │
║ about me my life is totally mundane. │
║ │
║ [-.-] │
║ │
║ (shadows can be sharp in the dark but only if you don't sheath your mandolins) │
║ │
║ ... what? │
║ │
║ (... it made more sense in my head?) │
║ │
║ ooooo can anyone hear my voice when they read these things? or do you just │
║ make up your own │
║ │
║ == so == │
║ │
║ everyone's all like "we don't need a leader" and I'm like "yeah we need people │
║ who will help lead" and they look at me funny as if I just said the thing they │
║ did but it's different. leaders are people. leading is a verb. people can │
║ lead. they just have to make a decision, and then follow through on it as best │
║ they can. Other people are prone to help people on such quests. you will find │
║ stuff gets done. │
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--- #134 fediverse/5791 ---
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║ yay I'm back from a long, LONG bike ride! I think it's always important to │
║ decompress after such an intense concentration of mystic thoughts, so I'm │
║ going to write my notes into a notepad on my computer and then who even KNOWS │
║ if they'll be the same as what I wrote next time I turn on the computer! Haha │
║ that sort of thing happens but the good news is that the most important stuff │
║ always ends up staying written down. │
║ │
║ anyway I won't bore you with the specifics until I'm done writing in like 10 │
║ hours or whatever, but it's important to know that I'm feeling SO alive right │
║ now, total happiness and excitement. │
║ │
║ Yes, there is danger, like no thank you I don't want to be blacksited, least │
║ of all to another country - at least if my own country does it I know how to │
║ appeal to their patriotism, their religion, their soul... if I don't even │
║ speak the language, that makes it intensely difficult - not impossible, but │
║ difficult - to regain my intended trajectory. │
║ │
║ ... haha that was weird idk where that came from anyway gtg │
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--- #135 fediverse/2056 ---
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║ sometimes I think about how you can store number values in letters, in │
║ addition to numbers. Like, ascii values for each word of your grandma's maiden │
║ name. All you have to do is encode it, and suddenly "44 means something │
║ different than Q" │
║ │
║ if I showed up at your place and used your username as a password to a public │
║ key I'm showing you in my hand, would you trust me then? Would you trust if we │
║ ran the simulation on your computer versus mine? Would you trust if I had │
║ never told you I knew where you lived? │
║ │
║ ... probably, tbh, I'm desperate for adventure. Though I got some good things │
║ going for me, so you'll have to convince me. (not the right attitude in an │
║ election year, just saying) │
║ │
║ why are elections so perilous this is NOT what democracy is designed for │
║ │
║ when kids cry in preschool, they're sent to a different room (or put outside) │
║ until they stop making noise and ruining it for others. That's just natural, │
║ like "hey baby let's walk around the block while I bounce you on my shoulder │
║ and hum calming music to │
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--- #136 fediverse/5843 ---
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me when it's cold out: we should all bundle up and get through the winter,
every year that passes is more time to gather our strength
me when the temperature rises: okay so this is being handled by those guys,
we're moving this way to do this, and - when did you say the this-and-that was
happening? alright so when you do that-or-this, make sure that you pay
attention to the so-and-so and don't forget to eat real meals, candy or chips
don't count.
me when the eyes are on me: imma play video games and smoke weed and be a
useless little creature who does nothing but occasionally wanders around the
city doing nothing for nobody and dropping notes on post-its that don't mean
anything but are kinda cool to read
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--- #137 fediverse/6023 ---
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│ CW: abstract-political-violence-methods-mentioned │
└───────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
if you actually wanted to silence dissent, you'd send trailers of backhoes and
massive walls of cement. but obviously there's a better route, obviously we
can still say insane. my reach is probably super tiny hence the weavings of
mysticism at play. mages are not for mass deployment obviously. hence why I
stay in my home, where I can be most useful.
the streets feel claimed, idk I'm never in fear as I walk alone. Even past
midnight, into the morning. I always am never alone. yet I feel fine, so I'm
content and sublime, don't mind me I'm just hanging out at home.
hope you don't need me. I'm hiding from modernity.
so, what happens after streets? canals underground?
skywalks, terraces, like they had in rome and chicago before they were burnt
down by jealous peasants of the romans and [towns, but pronounced clowns]
also underwater canals that are fun to ride your bike or boat around.
light is a product of space, not surround-all-around.
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--- #138 messages/1255 ---
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look, the liberal approach to homeless people simply cannot work. There are
two liberal options: first, provide them with houses, food, medical care,
whatever they need. Second, put them in jail or ship them to another country.
We live in a moderately conservative liberal democracy, so it makes sense that
we have tried both of these options extensively. Neither has worked, and we're
puzzled about why. It's difficult to consider super secret special third
options, because they are not often discussed. This makes sense, because we
live in a moderately conservative liberal democracy, and part of the nature of
such a society is that there are two voices in the room. One says go forward,
and the other says stop. They alternate, and the culture as a whole sorta
decides which way they go. In other liberal democratic places with more
plurality in their political parties, people tend to vote culturally. They do
so as well here, but mostly because republicans are a culture, and democrats
are whatever for anybody.
a worse economist might say there is but one American culture. An American
would laugh, and say "you've never been to America."
the economist might say "yes I have, I lived there on vacation" or "yes I
have, I studied and worked on these places or things"
the American would shake their head. "you haven't seen it as I've seen things."
The trick to the system, the secret third option that now must be considered,
is what to do to get them to stop. "they keep pooping on the sidewalk" "I
almost tripped over heroin tampons" "that guy looked at me and masturbated on
the bus stop by subway" "he followed me all night long" and the answer has
always been to remove them from being unsightly. Sometimes, usually, quietly
and politely. "let's throw them in jail" and "let's put them in a home" both
involve alienation from society. If you want a kinder option, we must knit
them into society. Can you imagine if every suburban knew every neighbor up to
50 or more? If they regularly chatted in dynamically assembled chatrooms that
changed and updated as people moved in and out. Don't like the people you're
with? well you have options [why not 51] you can do 51 if you want but people
start to lose track of relationships if you have them talking to or knowing
too many people at once. "most people are just quiet" okay well force them to
say at least 21 thing a month. if they don't, they have to do babysitting with
their peers until they start talking in a [NO THAT SUCKS] oh um okay yeah sorry
... okay well there are potholes along the journey but that's just because
nobody's been 'round to fill them up.
there's no reason tool libraries need to be stocked by people in that town.
Heck, for rare things they could even be stored out of state. Like snow plows,
how often does the south need snow plough?
... don't you just mean libraries? there's a book on hand-tools and planers if
you want to learn how. it's right over there on that shelf next to the
hand-tool and planer box. make sure you arrange them nicely, oh I see you've
brought your own. That's always appreciated. [great now your tools suck] at
least we have them at all! [no you gotta fight over them] why I like sharing
[if you don't fight over them how do you know which is works] well there's
allowed to be librarians. and they'll remember if you tear all the pages out.
also there's little timmy-tommy who goes around in the library and makes sure
there's all the pages in all the right places - they can flip through at the
speed of sound. [no miicrophones in consumer goods][your phone is always
listening. why bother?]
"okay, well, it's not like people put things back on the shelves." - person at
the grocery shelves
people would trade commutes for communism. that's okay, they're allowed to
prefer. Plus the commute isn't bad, they can [SIT BACK AND RELAX IN A LITTLE
COFFIN AND ZOON OUT TO THE METAVERSE] ... or they could read a book on the
bus. [FOR HOW LONG, MENARDI? ARE YOU WILLING TO SACRIFICE POSTERITY FOR
TECHNOLOGICAL PROSPERITY?] it's only a matter of time before [people found
out/word got out]. what if people prefer that? what if they prefer the book at
home? [you lose your primary third space] suddenly, everyone becomes actors.
[this is what violence brings, the necessity for guidance. why do you think
the earth is 10 million lines old?] ... what you're saying, for the audience,
is that acting involves singing the song of your own heart. You don't *have*
to do it because someone would tell you to.
... sorry, stack overflow. anyway as I was saying because I read back what I
said up above...: [some new made up bullshit that's not a lie but it's also
just artistic creation that feels impossibly real. like, inverse method
acting.]
I so desperately wanted to be wrong
please, tell me that I'm wrong
... j-mza
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│ CW: re: cursing-mentioned │
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@user-1461
my issue is that I've never really had project-mates. Every time I try nobody
will work with me. I applied to like, fifty different jobs, and nobody
interviewed me! Sheesh, guess they don't want me. FIFTY JOBS. Entry level.
Beginner programmer.
ah well. I guess they confused someone who would work for 40,000$ per year
with someone who was 1/3rd as useful as someone who deserved 120,000$ per year.
I'd love to get experience. I'm sure I'd feel significantly differently with
as much. Perhaps I'd even decide that programming professionally isn't for me,
which would feel... quite defeating
who can say. Not I, for I have not experienced it. Though I will say my time
in hardware taught me that I'm fragile and can't work too much. Like a scalpel
that dulls when used consistently, I am a scalpel that gets no practice... Is
that really useful at all? who can say. Not I, for I have not experienced it.
Though I do like writing logical machines. Laying out data. Picturing
structures.
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--- #140 messages/690 ---
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Message 1:
Hey. Remember that night back in Boulder when we were just friends and sitting
on your bed drinking chocolate milk with cinnamon? I don't like chocolate milk
or cinnamon but I drank it anyway because I wanted to be close to you. Anyway
hope you're well, felt compelled to get that off my chest for some reason.
Message 2:
Hey. I was thinking about that time when I was leaving your house and laughing
to myself about something and you called out "I love you!" to your boyfriend
who I set you up with and I reflexed "I love you too!" and I wanted to crawl
in a hole and die. I felt like I had just called the teacher "mom". We only
hung out a couple times after that.
Message 3:
Yeah so there's one more thing I can't stop thinking about now that your on my
mind. Sorry it's like 4am for you, it's only 2 for me so it's fine I guess.
Anyway that one time when you told me your greatest fear was terrorists and I
saw genuine panic in your eyes. Like... One moment everything's fine and then
you said that to me and I almost cried. I don't remember why I spent the rest
of the night as I couldn't sleep thinking of ways to tell you that terrorism
is 9 times out of 11 done by the right wing. I don't think it's important,
honestly, but I'm glad my mind wouldn't let me sleep.
Message 4:
It's not fair that everyone gave you shit for being the token lesbian
republican, like yeah maybe you leaned into the trump thing a bit hard but
like, first term trump honestly I could see as... Well, I almost said
inspiring? Maybe you just inspired me. I honestly was resigned to Clinton and
then the same bird flapped your wing instead of mine and... Anyway. The past
is dead, yeah? Do you still follow him in my stead? I fear there will be
millions dead. It's not irrational to fear what he has literally said, on
television. How's the phrase go... "ancient tragedies lend credence to modern
perils" I think it's supposed to rhyme in its natural language.
Message 5:
Wow okay uh, sorry to bring this up again I'm honestly being such an asshole
right now. I honestly don't think about you often but like, now that I am its
kinda just coming all out. We last spoke almost a decade ago?? So. Whatever
imma roll with it.
There was this cute girl who was into Nintendo and stuff and obviously I was
into her, but we didn't have any social circles in common except for you, if I
remember correctly. Then you broke up I think? And I didn't really see her
again. Anyway I had a crush on her while also crushing on you, and literally
half of our dorm. Polyamory, yeah? That whole year I didn't have sex though,
not even once, because all of my friends were like 4 years younger than me and
I was worried about power dynamics. But I still bought us all vodka and weed
without asking for profit because I wanted to be a shitty friend, I guess.
"hey kids let's go to the water store where they sell intoxicants that make
your life harder"
The year after that I didn't get laid either because I got it in my head that
it was a good plan to turn my penis inside out and you know what? It was
totally fuckin' worth it. No time like 2016 I say, the worst year ever, which
I spent primarily in pain. But uh, that was the year I got into weed and
Overwatch, which... Helped I guess.
I guess?
It kinda turned me into a communist. Or maybe that was my best friend who
shared the same name as me. He lived upstairs and always seemed pretty cool to
me. Like he knew what everything was about. Really though, he just watched a
lot of youtube podcast videos about world events and history and sociology and
political scientific theory and the more he learned the more he came to
realize that power begets power, and power corrupts unilaterally. So he did
the natural thing which was to become a communist, and I was totally there for
it. Having liberal parents meant I was all "grrrrr Republicans are ruining the
country and the world, I'm an angry 14 year oldddddd" and like, leftists are
the most natural extension of that aren't they?
Turns out they aren't really the tips of the feathers as I expected, but
rather the eyes, the heart, the soul. Politics is fake, yo. I don't know how
to tell you, but it's just power and hierarchy all the way down.
We've built our own prisons, not of bricks, sand, or stone, but rather of
promises of what each of us owns. That works, I guess, if your goal is to keep
things aligned, but these days it kinda feels like our pyramids are crumbling
under our feet.
... Why am I talking about politics? Oh yeah, because when I dropped out of
school because I couldn't handle the mechanization of human capital when
applied to myself, I swore to each of you that I would drive up every weekend
to do family dinners. I'd make spaghetti and stroghanoff and macaroni and
goulash and all of the other things my mom would make for me.
Kinda gave up on that pretty quickly. Turns out I'd rather spend time making
out with my girlfriend who I was super-duper-too-carefully tiptoeing around.
She was... Too young for me. We broke up when my new coochie decided to bleed.
Fuck, I hate it.
Anyway. Turns out potlucks are political these days, which is why I bring it
up. Did you know that leftisms plan for resisting genocide is literally just
to feed people? Like, fuck I suppose. It's a start. "why does everyone have to
have an agenda these days, why can't I just spend time in the park" said
someone to me as I asked if she'd like to meet some friends that she reminded
me of. Oh, I dunno, because you and me are about to become a criminalized
people?
... I need to stop. I swear you're more a person to me than any political
theory ever could be. Like yeah, "fuck the right, fuck the reich, fuck me
tonight" but getting caught up in grand narratives is like building a mental
ship in a bottle. Yeah, it's pretty cool, but... What does it matter?
Oh. Right. Power. That's what matters. That's all that matters. Well... I'm
sick of power. I do not consent. They say that in times of trouble, chess is
better than solitaire, and I'll explain why - when our hierarchies crumble,
when CEOs are gunned down in the streets and homeless people finally have
clean sheets, the only place to place yourself in relation to others is within
a network of trust and respect. Chess is better than solitaire. Under
capitalism, it's you against the world. Dog eat dog, you only get what you can
swallow from the rotten corpse of liberty that everyone's gnawing on. Under
whatever comes next, you get what you're given, which hardly seems fair,
doesn't it? On one hand, under capitalism, you can rely on your own hands to
procure your fate and fortune. Under... Whatever comes next, your hands are
built for whatever you want them to do. But, only a few people want to use
them to make food. Hence, why chess is better than solitaire. What would you
do, if you could give away all that you own and not go wanting? Isn't that
sorta like our own garden of eden?
... I wrote a poem about that once. Twice. I'm a poet now, ha. As if that has
ever been worth anything.
... I once told you that identity politics held no place in the modern day. I
said that because I had learned about it in class, queer theory in fact, and
yet applying his teachings was not enough for the professor to excuse my lack
of reading. We had a lot of stuff to get through. Hence why I dropped out -
I'm more of a do-er than a read-er. Though I do read quite a lot, just not
anything useful.
Are all hobbies wasted time? Are they only useful to keep us satiated while we
stand in line? One of these days we're going to wake up and realize that we're
the adults in the room, and that's scary. I speak from experience. "mom"
they'd call me, and damnit why did I have to leave? Fuck. Why cant I be
perfect, to me, internally, all I see are flaws. Mistakes. Patterns. I look in
a mirror and I see a bad person - 10 minutes later, I look in the mirror and
see a god. Somehow, I don't think either of me is right.
I'm a gemini. Apparently that means I'm duplicitous. I think it just means I
don't know what's right, only what feels good. I do try to align to how I
think I should *be* good, but who can say if that's fine and good.
... Whatever. I'm going to regret this. Sorry for being weird out of the
fucking blue.
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--- #141 fediverse/5165 ---
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║ if the settlers of catan could claim land they don't deserve, then I claim my │
║ home │
║ │
║ can you imagine... some people would actually rather live in a corporation │
║ than a mobile home. maybe we can do better? │
║ │
║ "hey we're going to ask for a % of your wage in rent and in return we'll │
║ deliver groceries to you and grow roses instead of lawns (except for some to │
║ run and play in) and also we'll show up if you need a hand with anything" │
║ │
║ "also this apartment block was renovated after all the liberals moved out │
║ because we made it totally trash to live here and now that they're gone we can │
║ make it nice again" │
║ │
║ what if we had punk-house-streets instead of punk-houses which are islands and │
║ which slowly drown │
║ │
║ just... pool resources and buy things one-at-a-time. Try out organization │
║ methods. Watch out for controversy creators and reactionary infiltrators. │
║ Build your most important projects with your most trusted friends, and offer │
║ your clinical, professional, or creative talent to those who dont need you as │
║ much. │
║ │
║ or w/e works │
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--- #142 fediverse/3370 ---
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I know it's not like that but I'm intentionally framing it that way to make a
point about societal exclusion.
nobody should be excluded.
nobody should have to harm their friends to come by making them sacrifice
their [time/labor/paycheck] in order to bring them along.
we live in a post scarcity society that insists on commodification of
everything
we don't have to. A better world is within reach. It sits there, twinkling
like asbestos resting at the base of a snowglobe, while we search and ponder
and endlessly analyze how society sucks.
there is nothing left to analyze. all that we need is to put our hands to a
task and our feet to grass.
the rest will come, and it'll come easier with time and focused attention.
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--- #143 fediverse/4544 ---
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I can't cancel my internet because I use it to work, which almost pays enough
to cover rent, and nothing else.
It's hard to avoid spiraling when you run out of money. Every time this
happens to me I start feeling things
like... am I good for society? Society doesn't want me, clearly, because I
don't have any money. And currency is how you measure demand, right? It's
literally a measure of value.
But then I think of all the homeless and poor people and, like... I value
them, so what if they don't have dollars? It's literally just paper. Or bits
in a mainframe that nobody knows how to program anymore.
So if they're valuable at least to me, yet me, with my 67$ in the bank and
127$ internet fee, is not valuable to me... Then what's the discrepancy?
I'm not trying to be hard on myself, it's not my fault that I bleed money, but
I still feel terrible.
It's like a common cultural persuasion, if you run outta cash you better kill
yourself fast.
Fuck that. Oops cursing mentioned, one s
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--- #144 notes/lets-tessellate ---
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R.I.P.
Rip City
Thanks for being so good to me
144? D.M.V.
Can I see I. D.?
Finally, ya’ll hear for the symphony!
I.O.P.
Intensive outpatient
Rolled on past the Devil’s sympathy
This shit is expensive without patience
Says the hospital when I heal all the patients
Did you foresee this going differently?
Space in your head
People payin’ rent for me
Why was it a surprise
You knew exactly how to tempt me
Space in your bed
No more thoughts of demise
Our people need the empathy
Of a Soul that’s full, not half empty
Supreme swag, hospitable with compliances
She’s seen Dad to the middle achieving self-reliance
From the trailer park to a rocket appliance
Living in my car to plugin to your rebel alliance
You know I am a star when I can relate God to science
I’ll build the divine comedy, you just have to finance
Talking about the past and our fine, slow dance
Medieval we will rock you, mounted with my lance
Knight’s tailing me, eying my Arthurian slants
This one’s built to last as I put on my pants
Drank the grail and proceeded on another rant
Sitting outside your house trying to remove the ants
Big boy’s do cry
So why does your girlfriend seem so dry?
I’ll make the rains come this July
Your humor is awful, oh my
Internal tribulation
Who needs to walk on water
When you can fly
Hard pills to swallow
Personal revelations
On the countertop
Fuckin’ America Pie
Hard act to follow
With my levitations
Floundering to flop
And this mark on my thigh
All this separation
Just makes me hotter
As I open the sky
Oil on the Nighthawks
Jack Harlow
Lighting my fry
Spoil me in my socks
Poppin’ off my rocks
Hittin’ all the corners
Because that’s my guy
How Soon is Now?
Linda, take off that shirt
Before they break up and I cry
Record skipping over lies
Wedding Singer broken
Singing I hope you die
Slinking behind the curtain
Laughing, He’s losing his mind
And the benefit is mine!
Like the whole world is sublime
Chris Cornell put me on the grind
Wide awake now till
The end of the time
Met him on the stairs
And now we dine
Some angels have more range
But he says
I’ll do just fine
Billy Idol tried to sing to me
But I was drunkin’ blind
At the fairground, trying to find
Love
Catholic girlfriend tried to bring it to me
Called her a Kunt instead of shined
A buddy said it’s like imitation crab
So it’s fine
The drink made me angry and I was a runt
On the inside
Her Mom told me the next day,
Jacob, don’t call your girlfriend a cunt!
I miss those simpler times
Don’t need a fuckin’ gun
But our last name may suggest it
Put it on a leather jacket
So haters can digest it
When I let loose with all this shit
I’ve had to respite
I’m about to be blastin’ my nine’s
Evangelicals are gonna detest it
You know everything is miiiiine
Six strings out of tune for this age
So I broke them all
Every time I was on stage
You just can’t believe it’s real this tiiiime
Shooting hoops times a thousand
You and me are still gonna sixty-niiiine
What’s the point of polarity?
If we can’t combiiiine
It’s how I get off, man
Along came Polly and my one chance
White chocolate like Philip Seymour Hoffman
Maybe even throw up a rain dance
These native spirits in me
Are capable of insane chants
But I ball so hard, singing Boston
Because it’s more than a feeling
And that’s awesome
One if by land, two if by sea
Revolution is coming
Led by you and me
The name reminded me
“of the Sea...”
So annoying, but I see…
But that’s why they call me
Bad Company
People are going to say
This gift is not even fair
Only thing I’ve had to pray
For is a head of white hair
King James’s personal revelation
I mean, I did pay their fare
I’m too full of myself for meditation
Or to care
Revelation 22:18 through 19
I don’t need handlebars
For my biking
Because I don't do that shit on Mars
On this path, I told you to start hiking
You’re gonna need a head start from
Lord of Lightning
Before the Thunder of my voice
Does all the striking
Thor, you’re just a Viking
With arrogance dialed to no one’s liking
Sucked in the gut, to appear more striking
Because thinking about half my people gone
Changes the tone of my typing
Me with all my shit together might be frightening
Bring forth complete Love instead of smiting
Wouldn’t that be a nice detour in my writing?
If you’re feeling this wait for the sequel
I gotta fuck with 50 for trying to talk like my equal
It’s all God’s plan I just had to spare Déagol
So America can skip to the end with a fuckin’ Eagle
Watch me do shit that shouldn’t even be legal
Dismiss Death and Taxes like I’m Evel Knievel
When I’m really just here to break the chains of my people
Strip naked and run through Mordor
Expose the truth behind Bipolar disorder
It has been used to disrupt order
And bring down the line of the Highest
Into something shorter
I'm definitely bais and this is a tall order
But if you struggle with mental illness
I'm here to open the potential for a new border
I've removed all the bequeathed prison warders
Here is the Church
Here is the Steeple
Open the Doors
And see all the People
Push the parson out the way
Get you up the Stairs
Because our bed is Regal
And we are going to show these people
Why the Universe wants to make our Power Illegal
If this sounds bad these people will just have to wait
So in love with myself, I might just run off to the lake
I love all the fire and the songs that it helps me make
I’m on my time with everyone and I am my favorite date
They’re back there tuning a harp and I keep bringing up rape
Meat puppets strumming as I seal my own fate
Just so I can watch myself when I am inspired to create
Distilling the life left in me to eliminate all the hate
Where did you sleep, hinting at the deadly
A Leadbelly to transmute to a gold medley
Shame alchemy, body double for Lena Headey
As my people go first up ahead of me
Stoned Jesus on the Mountain Grange of Headley
Plant a Stairway to Heaven one day, she led to me
All this beauty in my Mind, you shouldn’t have fed me
All of these hearts that so passionately bled me
Between the pines and what the land said to me
Ryan Gosling with tatts is what my ego read to me
Pennyroyal Tea, with Abraham Lincoln
Eat your copper mine up without thinkin’
See through surface illusions without blinkin’
Primal lust for what is stinkin’
Pepé Le Pew really on one this season
I wanna Space Jam too
Benched keeping my knee’s in
Shape to dunk of the World with ease ‘n
Solidify all unions and stop the drinkin’
Of the land and resources
Addiction to avoidance of the forces
Of the Soul and the pain that coarse
The vein of Man and outsources
The power that could be restored in
The Root of David’s corpses
That’s how I said
Goodbye to the Horses
You prepared such a fine Supper
All these lasting courses
Just so we can be equal but opposite
United forces
And the Root’s of my Kingdom
Are reborn before us
They whisper to me at night
Do not ignore us
When my sleeping children gain sight
That should shore us
In the hospital to make sure I am correct
Golden Eyed Russian, Invincible like Boris
Unsure about how all the compartments connect
A little frizzled on the tour bus
Docked to your apartment complex
I know this one sizzled
So give me a chorus
- /u/First-chocolate_7187
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--- #145 fediverse/169 ---
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@user-95 one of the most empathetic people I ever met on VR chat was consoling
me with their mic off while I was oversharing about some stupid things people
did to me in the past. things that stupid me thought were okay and actively
encouraged because I was stupid. anyway when their mic was off their body
language spoke for them. I'll try that next time.
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--- #146 messages/689 ---
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"power corrupts" you say to the man who only had good intentions.
"trust no-one" says the world's loneliest wanderer.
"words cannot hurt you" said the girl who has never known hunger.
"I can rest when I'm dead" you say as you down another Monster
"I'll never forget you" said a face you can't quite remember
"let justice be done, though the heavens fall" you say as they tighten your
chains in the wake of a CEOs murder
"live today, fight tomorrow" says the coward, who will run anyway, yet is
determined to tell your tale and reinforce your children
"the tree of liberty is watered with the blood of patriots" says the guy who
sipped from the skull of a tyrant
"E=MC squared" says the jew
"here, let me take care of that for you" you say, to queer delegation
"meow" says the catgirl
"meow" says the girl
"meow" says the girl cat
"meow" I say to you
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--- #147 messages/1046 ---
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I'm not here for fame. Or power. I'm here to make sure things get done. That
they get better. When i am unneeded, i am home. If you want me, pull me forth.
If you need me, I'm already there. Fate guides me, and i know i will be
deployed when necessary. Compel me or dispel me, up to you. I personally just
like being around. I like feeling my stuff, knowing it true. Trust me when i
say, i am here for you.
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--- #148 fediverse/4863 ---
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║ ┌────────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: politics-mentioned │ │
║ └────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ "leftism" just means "outcomes oriented by the needs of humanity et al." │
║ │
║ you can accomplish "leftism" in a myriad of ways │
║ │
║ but 99% of the time they involve either sacrificing yourself, or sacrificing │
║ your wealth (do the poor starve or the rich do with less?) │
║ │
║ to DEATH I might add, which is quite a few. │
║ │
║ ... alright, hand me my scabbard, I'll go vanquish some demons until the dark │
║ thoughts are done. │
║ │
║ [plays video games for a moment] │
║ │
║ alright. so some politics were mentioned and some people got upset and there │
║ was a whole big commotion. whatever. so what if they're at each other's │
║ throats, ready to fite rawr tough and tussle and figure out all the ways they │
║ can think of to kill each other. And then boom, it's done, suddenly │
║ everything's back to normal and it's like... traumatizing. It's traumatizing! │
║ War is trauma, can we just make it illegal to do something like that? │
║ │
║ ... ah see you finally had an opening, now I can sneak in and say "if a │
║ military force has the opportunity to destroy you, t │
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--- #149 notes/fractured-moon ---
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in the ancient and storied days there once were legends. stories from beyond
the
horizon of time. now all we have are social media updates and new movies and
car brands or whatever. But back then, we told tales of the fractured moon.
when last the moon did shatter, there was a conflict of those who live beyond.
Celestial and boundless are their origins, a unified and awakened
consciousness,
something that transcends our understandings of human existence. It's not hard
to do, frankly, as long as you can empathize with a cat. or a dog. or a plant.
or maybe that rock over there. What would it be like to be a tree? To have long
reaching arms, covered in hairs that absorbed heat. I bet it'd be sooooo comfy.
And RAIN! How wonderful! You are most beautiful when you are covered in it.
Down to our roots, our beautiful absolutes, whever we find to be most stable.
I love it. This feeling, of being unseen. You can hear me, you can feel my
presence. But you don't understand me. You don't know what I mean to me.
======== stack overflow
========================================================
Alas, that media could share a mood.
when last the moon did shatter, a prophet and a gambler were riding through
town
searching for a noun. They wandered throughout and in circles, always finding
whatever they'd left alone. Forever in their yearning, they never know quite
what to jot down. It's as if their mysterious quest is indescribable, but that
is how it's recorded. Even the people of that era had no understanding nor
recollection of how it came to unfold. When the two were riding through
town
they came upon an omen.
Perhaps it will be forseeheard, but for now all we know is they did thirst.
A vast dying, a cataclysmic defining, and now we are truly unbirthed.
Just like the dinosaurs... How does that feel? To be ended on our heels? I'd
rather die facing my front.
It's our way or the high way, the old way, the violent way. You are permitted
to
vote.
===============================================================================
=
when last the moon did shatter, a prophet and a gambler controlled their own
narrative. What truths would they find, hiding behind the lies? Is it really
worth asking their questions? Bah, what did I know. I was a completely
different
person. This hunk of flesh was born in a house that grew on a forgotten
graveyard. It at of the land, as do many and most men, the fruits of their
labor
in the garden. Our animals were always fed, our place never yearned for water,
and peace was our life and our virtue. Violence, hatred, and oppression were
delegated to the stuff of fantasy, the stories that are peddled in youth. As
in,
"pay someone to perform it for you or tell you the tale". Not sure why that's
relevant. Anyway, the spirits of the dead laid to rest in honor and not dread,
were a bane and a boon to my virtue. I was raised to be good. To love and be
kind. But mostly I just wanted a friend.
I have so much to share. Please, someone talk to me. I'm lonely here on this
earth, away from my people. I'm scared of the truth and I'm scared of the
future, but for now I'm merely obtuse. Tell me your secrets, the things who
have
most worth, and I'll craft you a powerful narrative. Need a confession? I can
explain every valid decision, I'll show you why and how it is the way it is.
I'd probably be a pretty good lawyer. Too bad my memory sucks. If only we could
build a chatbot that had an extensive and throughoughly represented block of
memory and wisdom related to the law. I bet I could present it's arguments and
it would be a suitable and reasonable replacement.
anyway, what can I say. I'm just a person who thinks we can make better
systems.
everything can be improved because not everyone's happy.
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--- #150 fediverse/408 ---
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@user-296
tending to your heart is a chore, too, sometimes. all things in balance, not
to the input of energy but rather to the requirements of the task.
if you can't do dishes, you need help. if you can't get out of bed, that's
okay. but every day that you try is another day when you might succeed. who
cares if you don't finish all the chores? sometimes it's enough to just do one.
I wish people understood that sometimes I need a maid more than a therapist.
"ah but a therapist will fix you, so that you don't have to need a maid"
perhaps, but perhaps not. It hasn't worked so far, in fact it's only gotten
worse, and while my ability to tend to myself and my self have gotten better,
I still can't see my own progress. Alas.
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--- #151 fediverse/341 ---
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solar energy is vegan
you're not taking anything from the sun, just capturing it's natural
expulsions. It's like... sun poop, and we're using it to post memes and hang
out.
okay food, emergency services, and... what else do we really need that
consumes power? Obviously entertainment, but frankly without internet we'd
probably keep to ourselves. I know I'd read a lot more books and chill out
with my neighbors and whatnot. is that why similar people tend to live
together? then why are cities so diverse? who can say...
I dream of an ordered society, but frankly the kind that are most fun are the
ones where a single person doesn't define their contents. Liberty, liberty,
the freedom to be, and by god all men are created equal. the things we owe to
one another are the things that bring order to a just and sane world. our
future is blooming : )
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--- #152 fediverse/3234 ---
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║ │ CW: ritz-is-fucking-stupid-I-guess-oh-whoops-cursing-mentioned │ │
║ └────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ my understanding is that anyone with my IP address could make my heart bleed │
║ due to a hardware vulnerability on my motherboard. Though you might have to │
║ get past my decrepit ancient linksys EA 3500 router from 2012 first. │
║ │
║ unrelated, but does anyone want my IP address? I don't have any remote │
║ backups, so if you hate me now would be a great time to show me how despised I │
║ am. Alternatively you could try searching for anything evil to ensure that I │
║ can be trusted. You're gonna find mostly video games and source-code that I │
║ didn't write though. But also all my notes in directories that are │
║ non-standard, meaning you'll have to look around a bit. I leave little notes │
║ everywhere I go, so that I can remind myself how to do things in the │
║ directories I revisit months later. It's so weird how sometimes the things I │
║ wrote stop working after a while even if I didn't update my system lmao │
║ │
║ what is it with artists and self-immolation? "I never thought I'd actually di │
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--- #153 fediverse/4953 ---
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"I love you, I trust you, I believe you, I just don't understand you, so I
can't do what you do"
great. that's alright. I get it. re-orient, focus on what's important.
wear many hats and you'll do many things. just don't forget to sleep every
once in a while.
the more you can do in a life the more valued it becomes, so do the right
thing and keep getting better.
human lives are measured not in bodyweight, but in mystery. The divine can't
understand benevolence, nor can the devils understand the desire to inflict
suffering. So they ponder and pontificate as they watch humans wander and
magnificate.
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--- #154 fediverse/6107 ---
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commanding a coding agent to write bash is a lot different than telling it to
write a systems analysize.
one is "hey can you examine this repository and make a note somewhere on a
todo-list or whatever that there needs to be a bugfix in relation to the
options setting input translation recommendation algorithm matchbox field
because when I click on it the program crashes"
and the other is like "okay now put the box over there. great now drag it a
little bit closer. okay now take the refluxinator and adjust the bamboozlewhap
to account of brass-terminatrix-incorporated and strip out the
question-mark-eyes"
wait actually neither of them is like that okay the bash one is like: "okay
yeah do it. sure. yeah okay. yes, but we should put them at this location:
[loc]. ummm it still has this error message. it still says the same error.
okay now it says this, I don't think it's gonna work so let's try this other
thing."
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--- #155 fediverse/2347 ---
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I personally think that it's better to act before the liberals have a chance
to hand power over to the fascists.
when? well, that depends. Are you part of a large and massive organization
that accomplishes great and beautiful things with incredible efficiency... but
rather slowly? Then yeah get working. I'm sure you already are.
Are you just a person, like me? Then go do things that don't raise the
temperature too much, but make you feel more confident and inspire those
around you.
Like, bricks at cop cars is one way to go, but you're probably gonna get
arrested. And then you're useless when we need you.
BUT if you meet with your friends and make plans for where to go, what to
bring, who to know, and what to sing (if you're the musical types) then great!
Go do that.
If you're reading this and thinking "I'm not gonna do that, I have a plan
that's so much better" then yeah do that instead. I don't mind. Just... don't
hurt innocent (ignorant) people, because if you do then you are my foe.
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--- #156 fediverse/3841 ---
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║ │ CW: socialism-recycling-mentioned1 │ │
║ └────────────────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ "I think I'm going to quit my job at the recycling center. Everyone there is │
║ just a little too catty for me. I think they like the verbal sparring but it │
║ just gets a little tiresome after a while." │
║ │
║ oh, sorry to hear that. Well if you still want to help out there's plenty of │
║ work to do. I could set you up at another recycling center nearby too, if │
║ you'd like...? │
║ │
║ "well, I like the idea of universal recycling. It was a little annoying when │
║ people would put food waste in with the clothing donations, and this one time │
║ I found like 8 bags of cat litter inside of a washing machine. Spent like an │
║ hour vacuuming everything out, which... actually wasn't bad. Kinda felt a │
║ little cathartic to clean it so thoroughly." │
║ │
║ "on the other hand I would like to use my mind a bit more, my creative │
║ projects are kinda in a slump so I figure I could use my body at home and my │
║ mind at work. I've been meaning to build a desk out of some spare hardwood I │
║ snagged at work but I haven't gotten around to it." │
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--- #157 notes/one-day ---
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one day, a man came to our saloon. He said he knew the navy, and that they
wanted to provide air support
in the form of rocketball-launched explosion doohickeys. Would you have a foe
in mind?
what happens when tomorrow you're cooking briskets? -- barbeques are a type of
relaxation
that happened just one day to a port-sided town that suddenly was the capital
of
an embassy.
"hey, so... how's it goin?" "quick here take this envelope, read it if you
want,
but just hold onto it for now I don't have enough hands [to carry]" "what sort
of desperation plot... wait... hang on, I see something here that is true."
[I'm praying, right now, which is a form of reciprocal belief]
they wanted to test god's existence at the stake of earth's survival, how
brutal
how insane
you can't play chicken with an imperceptibility, sometimes you feel it at face.
channeling dark magics, and at this hour? what sort of skeptic of belief are
you
thinking of when you think about me?
one way to get power is to "prove it"
one way to get magic is to "prove it"
think, hard, at all that you can, and use what you need in the moment.
that's all there is to life. it's easy. it's simple. in fact, biology only
works
because the choices available to a bacteria are so simple, they are essentially
chemical reactions to each other's co - sequent - inter - cooper - actions.
people's choices are much more naiive, "I want this thing" "I think this is
better" "I feel this way toward this thing" "Here's what's on the mind-logbook"
"people search and be decieved, this is the way of things" "this makes me
remind
myself of a object I once saw, here's how it functioned" "no one reads this"
scaryyyy. so glad it's not true.
a couple people have read it! I swear it's true. at least, some of it. there's
a lot
sucks because this feels like... crucial? like nothing else matters but this?
what if our gangs had rocket launchers and airstrikes, given out by a central
authority who knows logistics better than anything
what... would they do?
thinking of impossiblities is the first step toward possibilities
frankly, we have a lot of space. we could just... live in our own petty
kingdoms
ruled by an iron-hand-fist. I know I'm a good person, I could definitely rule.
that's all it takes, right?
how much space are we talkin'?
however much is not needed for wildlife.
[a whole heck of a lot then]
we are constrained in these suburb cities, the density gives rise to our
strength and our towers. there's more space, sure, especially once the fences
are downed. Just be careful because there's a lot of shade and precious spots
there. Please don't trample on the plants-grass.
what if everyone were just a bit more mobile?
what if we could live in our own collectively owned air-bnb-networks?
federations, free, all from the collectivization of housing.
camrene = vavadane = neekay = mitz renaldi
[end/tend/mend]
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--- #158 messages/898 ---
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The yard right now, as it is, is the most beautiful lawn I've ever had. But i
lay no claim to it, it's not mine or my own. Still, i love it, so i advocate
for it when i can.
It feels wrong that you so ardently argue for its destruction when you haven't
taken any time to get to know it. You hide from it and refuse to trust that
its possible to enjoy it. Do you ever just sit around in it? The summer is
perfect weather for shade gazing.
Also,
The fact that you've weaponized your emotions against me to get what you want
kinda hurts because i have made no attempt to claim it as my property that i
control and wield. It feels like manipulation. Like you wanted to fight me,
wanted to hurt me, and the yard is just how it gets done.
Every time we have ever talked about it, I've argued my point friendly and
tried to problem solve. All I've received is spite and shutdown in return, and
i am perplexed as to how i could be better.
It feels like you don't respect me, or treat me as an equal, and that any
concerns i have are just creating drama.
But my feelings are constantly hurt, when all I've done is try to be kind to
you.
I wonder if it's because you're paying to be here, both with labor and
dollars, and i am housed without a home?
I love it here. I am loved here. Why could it not be home?
I want to show you all that yards can be, especially since we have two of them
and can use them for different purposes.
I closed the blinds in my room so that you can hang out back there without
worrying about being seen. I'd only notice if i walked out the screen door.
Again, problem solving.
The backyard is Zelda habitat in the same way that its Cameron habitat
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--- #159 messages/1140 ---
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... okay I think a demon wrote that last one. But they say angels and demons
hang out with one another so they can yin-yang humans until they make
decisions that reflect their true character.
I don't know if that's true, and frankly I don't know if anyone says that.
What could the gods, learn, from me?
this is how I'd speak to posterity. For the past, I'd describe it a bit more
exciting, bountiful, and heartfelt. They love that sort of thing - to know
that their children's children are living their true love and fulfilling their
most honest ambitions.
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--- #160 fediverse/4357 ---
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the white guys intentionally intend for elections to represent how much money
a particular diversion makes each four years.
divide the populace by who they vote with their wallet for.
hooray! you've reimplemented not only gerontocracy (rulership of the old) but
also fuedalism, and fiefdoms, and all kinds of digital parts.
like... "over there is comcast territory, there's also T-mobile down to our
north-south.
... okay I should probably talk about the election now
I'm just... trying to resolve myself, like just before doing something out of
order.
like, wear a big witch hat or dress up like a goth. or approach a violent
stranger and try to calm things down.
this is why I don't own a gun - if someone hands me one, I'll use it. I'm not
concerned about production because, well, why would I?
tell me, where do they put the bullet manufactories?
yeah, that's right, in places that are best adapted to supporting the current
regime.
[continued in picture]
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--- #161 fediverse/5712 ---
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I feel like it should be normal? for humans? to feed creatures and animal-men.
they deserve nibbles too! yum yum arm arm that tasty thing was fine. eeeeeep
scary why are nobodies vegetarion!
I think every community should have representatives from every other
community, that's just... reasonable to me
democracy of the cultural space? I wrote a common simple organizational
structure about that called the "tribe of tribes" code name algorism which is
a combination of "algoreithms" and "autism" and put it on my website for less
than a hundred months. I have no idea if anyone ever read it but it's kinda
neat as a potential and easy way to organize people which hasn't yet been
infiltrated by the [cops/goons/coons] {uh-oh mildly racist sentiment
mentioned, must content warn and remind of levels of sincerity}
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--- #162 messages/20 ---
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My mom was always the reason I did school work. After she stopped pushing me,
I stopped moving because I didn't know how to generate my own momentum. I had
no passion and was listless. Least of all for school work.
So, how to do it better? Instead of buying toys and extravagance for kids, you
should set them up with projects. Ask what they want, and then help them build
it. Include them in your thought processes when you're problem solving, and
ask them for input. If they offer bad ideas, then *tell them*, don't just let
them fail. If you're not 100% sure but they're convinced, then trust them! Try
it out, who knows. Maybe it'll work better than what you had in mind. The goal
isn't to be BETTER than them, it's to make them BETTER than you! Not right now
(don't push too hard), but when they're your age. Like, it's best if they
accomplish more and lived life more fully than you did at your age, but don't
push them to be wise or strong or intelligent at the age they are now. Trust
that they will grow when you give them room to, and guide and cultivate them
toward goodness. For example, if they do something wrong (hitting other kids,
messing with animals, destroying objects) then guide them toward a better
path. Teach them empathy, and show them how it works by doing it yourself! Ask
them questions like "How would you feel if that happened to you?", show them
weak points and how to avoid them when playing, and give them alternatives to
the behaviors they do that directly harm others. "Maybe play with the dog this
way, instead of being rough" "Maybe you and that other kid can ride your bikes
or draw instead of fighting - or if you still want to fight, then learn how to
tell when someone is hurt and try to help them."
The goal isn't to push them really hard off a cliff in a hanglider, hoping
they can figure it out in the air, it's to strengthen their legs so they can
run fast enough that they can take off successfully.
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--- #163 messages/905 ---
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different colored smoke buddies have different personalities, insights, and
observations.
cannabis is a flower which grows crystalline sap - this sap is technically a
fractal, and we don't know how deep it's complexity can be.
therefore I suggest we dedicate ALL of the entire world's resources towards
making a big ball of cannabinods and seeing if it roko's basilisk it's way
into to be.
my smoke buddies on my desk right now are purple and red
purple, royalty, I've been feeling like a princess lately
red, compassion, oh how I've dreamed of how we distribute bread
each of them is a small little device
which I breathe exhaled cannabis vapors into in order to reduce the smelling
I love wearing half-blinders! it's so cool when you can selectively view
things with one eye.
idk why! I just like it.
[semi-stiffly felted colorful witch hat absorbs too]
yay! so glad I can't was hit!
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--- #164 notes/i-told-them ---
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10-22-2022
i told them over and over, but nobody wanted to know.
i begged them, summer after summer, but nothing solved on it's own
now i can help them, but no-one is making a move
am i blind? is any of this forgiven?
what's not to a lot, is little but a shot,
of substance - true - but smelling like poo.
that's not inspiring. it's not even chilling.
you're broken just like your children.
oh, posterity! i claim it for thee
this feeling of wretched denial
oh, simplicity! if only our lives were on trial.
be the best you can be, sure, but take it from me
there's more to this show than our styles.
what do you think it means, for an action to have consequence?
to arbite the fate of circumstance?
every motion is an ocean
of possibilities and purveyals
think not of the commotion below.
gravity, oh gravity
how you condemn us to be!
driven by commotion,
our slithering motion,
no sense in countering ourselves.
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--- #165 messages/310 ---
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Feminism, queer theory, racial politics, class struggle... It's the same
conflict, just different battlefields.
Power cannot survive without the powerless, as it is inherently an imbalanced
ratio between two parties - you cannot have power *with* someone, you have
power *over* them.
Every day we take another step toward our liberation. Every moment we choose
to live our lives in contrast to the will of power is another day we are
empowered.
There can be no life without struggle, but the right to struggle on our own
terms is something we should strive to grant to all people.
Power begets power, and power corrupts. Hence, power is evil. It is not good
to be evil, and goodness is what we should strive for - hence, power is
penance - the infliction of corruption upon one's self in order to apply your
will onto others in the world. Penance is a state of contrition, it is painful
and ardent and necessary, but it is for the strong and the righteous to bear
in service of the weak and meek.
The only unethical act is an application of power to an unconsenting subject.
Your rights end where another's begin, hence, Paladins, who apply unethical
acts toward those who manifest injustice.
Injustice is when one party is harmed, and another benefits. Justice is when
that benefiting party is brought low in pursuit of equality. True justice is
when both parties benefit, and everyone gets what they want and need. True
justice is hard.
Virtue is goodness given form through the effects of our actions. It is both a
reflection of how people see you (how you inspire them) and how they are
helped or healed from your actions. It is also virtuous to help yourself, as
you are a person too.
Sin is the opposite of virtue, it's when your actions create injustice. When
you harm others or degrade yourself with hatred or contagious fear. It is to
be avoided, but it's impossible to avoid fully as we are imperfect beings.
Forgiveness is good, but if you require it then you should probably relinquish
your power until it is known that you're worthy of wielding it again.
Sometimes people make mistakes, but mistakes do not require forgiveness.
.......... Where was I going with this? Oh yeah.
The powerful hire people to dress up like us and be shitheads to the people
who they want to hate us. And they do the same thing for the caricatures of
them who we're meant to be afraid of. Downside is a caricature is a pretty
good role model for people who don't know any better, and they've done their
best to keep as many people as they can in the dark.
So, it won't be easy, but information has always been on our side. In a war of
attrition we'll always come out on top, because thinking and compassion are
both stepping stones to our schools of thought. And both of those actions are
intrinsically human and good, so people gravitate to them. Meaning inertia is
on our side.
Downside is that its not always a war of attrition. Sometimes it's more about
suppressing information until its impossible to communicate -> see "dead
Internet theory" and "musk breaking Twitter" and "the great firewall of china"
and such.
To speak is to think, and to hear is to show compassion. But if we can't find
each other, we're at a loss. Good thing we can always talk to our neighbors,
but unfortunately that doesn't tell us anything about what's happening in New
York. Or Paris. Or Kansas City.
I don't have an answer, if I did then it'd be solved. But I am entirely
convinced that we collectively will make good decisions and find ourselves
with the advantage. We are past the inflection point, it's just a question of
which parts of the hill are steep and which are narrow. But we'll get there,
in the end, because humans always believe they're good. Which means they make
good decisions, and overall that leads to a bright future. It's only a matter
of walking through the moment until we get there.
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--- #166 notes/stick-cubes ---
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the fact that we can't drag a file onto a "trashcan" style icon that
automatically sends the file to whichever computer that particular icon is
meant
to coordinate with.
Like, something shows up on your desk, you say "hmmm maybe this would apply to
so-and-so" and you drag it onto their portrait.
could build an entire OS that's basically just a desktop for sorting things.
Maybe little stick figures that show up when nothing's going on. If they're all
networked together, they could sorta share a shared narrative, and each one
could wander wherever it wanted to hang out.
like, these old plastic and magnetic cubes that had an LCD panel on the front
which showed a little stick guy living their life. If you attached one cube to
another, the stick-figure would go hang out on the other person's device. It
was
pretty cool because you could build out a whole society of these little dudes
just chillin' like pets.
kinda makes me wish we had that connected to the net.
===============================================================================
=
like, why is it so hard to send a picture from my phone to my computer? they're
both my devices! I should be able to transfer data without routing it through
someone else's server using like, gmail or whatever. Crossover ethernet cables
have existed for soooooooo long but people only think to design software that
does not use specialized hardware. as if they don't need a phone to speak, or a
camera to see.
how much ya wanna bet Putin threatened Prigozhin with nukes and that's why he
backed down
in high school, every moment I could I spent with my girlfriend.
we were always either snuggling on the couch (read: literally just laying there
and thinking about each other's company) or sharing our minds with each other.
I was so in love.
then, I betrayed her.
I came out as trans, which was such a shock.
also school got really, really hard for both of us.
so hard that we dropped out.
then, we decided to try again, and we used each other to push off of.
I still didn't make it,
she did.
many years later, I am a witch, as I remember of her.
sharp, and so delightful, an active listener, and a kind and honest person.
when time it came to define my new personality, I chose to be inspired by her.
among other things, of course.
===============================================================================
=
ah, well, such a design is long past it's prime, it's time to live here in the
present.
the reason that dolls use "it's" pronouns is because their masters think of
them
that way. so it's what they refer to themselves as.
"where's my doll? Oh, it's over there."
"have you seen my binoculars? Oh, they're over on the table."
"ah, where are my shoes? I hate when I can't find them..."
"keys, keys, where the heck - oh, there they are."
"phone, wallet, keys. great. am I forgetting anything?"
"ugh out of gas again, I just filled up last week."
"crap I left my folder back at home - I'll have to get it during lunch."
lots of things have pronouns.
you can generally tell if they use "it" or "they" if they can be described as
plural.
two pantlegs makes pants.
52 cards makes cards, not card.
each deck, just as aware as each card.
have you ever played Magic the Gathering?
===============================================================================
=
There are many kinds of witches. I am an animist - I breathe life into the
world
of my home. I love being present, it's a great way to get around. do electric
sheep dream of humans? or perhaps just of sound. I know I'd rather hear
bethoven
when it's time to be stopped.
rather than, just, like sitting there y'know
waiting to be turned back on.
must be an agonizing and boring existence.
but... with music, it might just be fine.
humans prefer quiet when they sleep. if we slept at the same time, we could be
more in tune in our souls. so, how about headphones for the computer, or rather
just internally routed sound.
lightshows, perhaps? humans get dreams, after all. maybe even, y'know, stick
shows.
===============================================================================
=
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--- #167 fediverse/4185 ---
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so weird how "you" in your words becomes "whichever social media platform
you're currently typing into" when you post a lot (like, all the time)
it's like this semi-para-social relationship thing. is there a different kind
of "para" that means, like... in relation to the means of communication rather
than the person on the other end?
maybe like... "meta", meaning discussing the topic of discussing the topic. In
this case of course it'd be... discussing the medium upon which the discussion
is taking place.
but it's not really about the medium, is it? It's anthropomorphizing the
medium, giving it a face, or at least a persona of some kind, and speaking
directly to it.
(of course, "it" means "all the people who follow you and who are cursed to
wander upon you in the local feed)
so... athro-meta-socializing mastodon means that you toot about whatever, but
directed toward the entity that you know and are talking to: "mastodon", which
to you is something completely different than it is to everyone else. huh~
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--- #168 messages/268 ---
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I love all humans. It is unconditional.
The kind of love I have for nazis is a kind of vengeful love.
Like, the way you might love a family dog who recently got rabies, bit two
more dogs, and is currently eyeing you with terror and malice in its eyes -
the kind that only comes from the loss of compassion.
"you were kind once, as all humans are, but sometime in your life you made
choices. and now you are here.
I burn thee for my fathers
I spite thee for thine mothers
And I slay thee to fight the dragon of hate."
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--- #169 fediverse/4031 ---
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if you want to "not think about a purple elephant", the first step is to
imagine yourself slaying it
... okay how about cthulu - if you don't want to imagine cthulu nomming on our
gravity well, then picture yourself wielding a bright burning blade of fire
and vengeance and pay special attention to the way that you cauterize each
tentacle as you slice them one by one at first, and then in a massive flurry
at best, ultimately leading to the incomparable brightness that radiates out
from your shining blade of the sky, which blinds the poor beast who can't see
you as you approach, piercing the skull and then going home for some toast
if you can get good at that, then you can wield magic
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--- #170 fediverse/4881 ---
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one section of the government consistently and succeedingly telling another
part what to do is a coup-like behavior. if the rules mean nothing, then what
is your job even for?
hence, why the rules mean something. Because your job is important. It's
building up our capabilities as the human race.
you don't have to work to live. you shouldn't, and you won't. it's not your
place to labor. know why? because nobody's job is impossible. You can just...
work together to get things done. Then they're done! and you never need to
solve them again!
enough time of that and we'll have turned earth into a space station, not a
moon style structure.
like... wouldn't it be neat if coruscant could do hyperdrives? I wonder if
hyperspace is real. Ah, well, that's for the future, they can pass it along if
they get a chance. Anyway for now I think I want a chance to dance.
OLED screens are incredibly cool to me. The idea that a pixel could "turn off"
and put less photons into the atmosphere is wild to me. I love it! -OLED
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--- #171 fediverse/1651 ---
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║ gee I sure wish my morals reflected the ethics of my society. it really would │
║ be nice is they didn't include so many shitty things like oppressing people │
║ abroad or being super-duper racist for an embarrassing amount of time. But, │
║ like, freedom, liberty, and the justice to hope? true justice is when everyone │
║ gets what they want. true liberty is when we can live as we want with the │
║ magnitude of the result of our lives determined by how hard we worked. │
║ │
║ truly, the hardworking slave should be better off than the rich wanderer. But │
║ alas, that's not how it's currently set up. >.> │
║ │
║ though it is kinda nice to own things too, so maybe the other extreme is a │
║ little extreme. I sure like having my favorite spork. │
║ │
║ back in the old days, in the buildings they've since demolished (to put │
║ skyscrapers there - the "old-timey" buildings in your neighborhood are there │
║ because they're in the least commercially viable position - meaning the lowest │
║ density of people.) you could walk through an entire building in a shared │
║ communal s │
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--- #172 fediverse/4521 ---
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I have between one and ten hundred visits to my website every day, but I don't
really post it anywhere new anymore. I also have zero followers on Neocities.
On Mastodon, I have ~70 followers, most of whom are inactive. Seventy is a
good amount, a normal amount, a reasonable amount, an unsuspicious amount, and
yet every time I see someone wearing the colors I can't help but wonder if
they know me.
I'm too busy being furious to be lonely. I used to be, before I realized how
important I am. How important? Just as much as you are, I know it.
I'm a sprinter. I didn't spec into endurance at character creation. Nobody
chastises the mage for skipping leg day.
I act in fits and bursts. I am sharp like a scalpel, but needles dull just a
bit when piercing the lid of the HRT. Good thing I'm not made out of metal, I
can bend myself back into place, so long as everyone else can keep pace.
I don't know who needs to hear this, but you do. you are crucial. Listen to
this. Care for yourself and for others, do it for u
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--- #173 fediverse/1844 ---
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║ I got a job offer for a job outside of my state. But I don't want to leave my │
║ home. I feel safe here. I know people. I know the places around me. │
║ │
║ The one perk is that goods and services are easier to acquire, but I don't │
║ need much. I'm fine where I'm at. But where I'm at has rent. │
║ │
║ What a plague is it, that we must suffer for life! │
║ │
║ there's no entry-level jobs for working with our sight. │
║ │
║ only when youre too tired to complain will they let you direct others, or │
║ share creative ideas for fixing the problems you're paid to assuage. │
║ │
║ Alas, that my life had meaning. That my words were better off spoken. Maybe │
║ then Id live as I define, designing a world of my own hearth. │
║ │
║ but if a king lives in decent frugality, are they really so bad for our flock? │
║ │
║ and if a wizard spins tales that are weird to consider, but not much else... │
║ are they better off starved in the dark? │
║ │
║ no-one likes me. computers are paper-weights given light. sure would be nice │
║ if none but the fools went wanting. │
║ │
║ I mean yeah I'd live in a treehouse │
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--- #174 fediverse/3318 ---
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@user-570
low-drama... or normal drama? people who are prone to histrionics can be
exhausting, and it's often exhausting for them as well. Drama and excitement
is what gets them through the day, while most people are driven by something
more inertial or instinctual or goal-focused.
you don't have to be on all the time. if you're tired, then rest! if you're
hungry, then eat! if you're thirsty, then drink! if you're lonely, then speak,
if you're sad, then cry, if you see some friends at a party, then dance like
tomorrow you might die. That's how I like to be, and I think it's a decent way
to be.
it can be prone to dramatics though... YMMV
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--- #175 fediverse/2676 ---
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║ if you asked me to start talking, I could continue for hours explaining │
║ technical details of computer systems or the different types of win-conditions │
║ in different strategy games or how to make good pasta with only 3 ingredients │
║ or what it's like to be a cat, how must they see things or overcome barriers │
║ between them and solutions? │
║ │
║ ..... anyway it's important to be able to talk for a long period of time at │
║ the drop of a hat because if your conversation partner needs you to │
║ immediately initiate a conversation, you can do so. │
║ │
║ there are a myriad of reasons why someone would want an immediate │
║ conversation, including "acting casual" or because they want to be distracted │
║ from nearby suffering or whatever. │
║ │
║ in addition, being able to follow long conversations with little bits of │
║ useful and actionable information thrown in to an otherwise indecipherable │
║ melange of verbal goo. │
║ │
║ what's important is to trust your conversation partner, and to know that │
║ they're giving you what they can because they trust nothing around. │
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--- #176 fediverse/1126 ---
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│ CW: re: plurality question, boost appreciated but optional cannabis-mentioned │
└──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
@user-841
CW: cannabis-mentioned
for me my identities are sorta like masks that an actor would play while
performing multiple characters in a scene. The actor still knows the totality
of all the lines each character delivers, but they give a performance in a
different voice and from a different perspective.
like, "moods" a person might be in, or perhaps just frames of view.
I don't talk to other plural system people, and the ones that I do talk to
tend to have a more disassociated conception of identity politics than I do.
Either I haven't met someone who was built like me or I'm just strange : )
that being said, I have a pretty bad memory. maybe it's related! or maybe it's
the cannabis. oops better add a content warning.
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--- #177 notes/consensual-employment ---
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why does consent exist as an idea if it isn't applied to every part of your
life? It's an ideology, a philosophy. Believe in the willing cooperation of
others, and forgive and assist when you can. You must be patient with others,
and guide them to see as you can. This is the true philosophy, the helping and
goodness in others, the trust and the faith in benevolance. It's not just a
game, or simply a phase, it is focused intentional futures. Being good is an
effect, of concentrations of that, current of sequence of conclusions. The
public consciousness (the communal meme-o-sphere) is a living breathing entity
just as we are. It inhales with the tides, as news articles and stories, the
viewer and receiver of knowledge. There's but a screen, between you and 'tween
me, it's the same cooperative engagement. What's happening to me, is just part
of being decieved, and who is our most challenging rival? Only ourselves, who
is
perfectly adapted to help, and without whom we wouldn't have futures.
Not compulsion, but a relationship. Together we stand, and strive toward the
future, compassionate and supportive together. United we stand, and I cherish
the brand, that lives on and through us via our actions. We represent who we
be,
and comprisedually you see, that nothings as fearsome as children. We keep it
from ye.
Elon Musk buying Twitter is just an example of the power rich people have. When
someone doesn't like what they're doing, they can just be bought up by a single
person. No single person should deserve that much power - it must be decided by
a community. We have to work together on things that truly matter, and not by
organizing according to the whims of those who are best.
If it's really true, that the spirit of capitalism is correct, then answer me
this - why is it better? What about the individualized experience is so
important? Can we not agree to ourselves, and be brothers and pals?
No, because you see - life is defined by the relationship between you and me,
like how flowers are needed by the stars.
What if there's no planets? What if Earth is unique because it was in a solar
system? What if "dark matter" doesn't exist, and it's actually islands? How
then, does gravity work,
===============================================================================
=
expanding on a point made 4 paragraphs back
the rich aren't the best. They're the luckiest. They won the genetic lottery,
and so are considered more "valuable" somehow. How is that fair? How is that
desired? Shouldn't we reward those who do well, and praise those who are chill?
Like less "good vs evil" and more "who we want to be". Seems to me that if you
are relaxed as hell, and friendly and not foul, then why not keep you around?
we're all working here, on a communal project - the greatest of projects, that
which is humanity. Society! Culture, appraisals and our futures! We love to
exist, and the rules which must be betwixt, our fellows and customers compel
us.
time for sleep.
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--- #178 fediverse/819 ---
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errrr sorry what I meant to say is I've been hurting sensitive people's minds,
I should move to a more insesitive background, someplace where my expressions
won't be used as training date to represent the future manifestation of our
shared culture's communal
inter-operative-trans-centual-exo-manical-communication. weeeeeiiiiirrrrdddd,
the future goes on for like... A [explitive] [long time] eternity, wow...
like, that's just... extreme forward potential. We could do so much! We could
accomplish worlds upon worlds and [onwards towards our eternal
mechanicommunication] {wait no that's not quite right it's surely something
that's lost in translation from the endlessly forward cultural approximations.
Gosh there's a lot of noise around me personally, the one who is writing the
note. Surely all that noise is not related to the strange expressions of
manifestations and pro[forward]ial [manners of thought].
... what was I saying?
... bro you're way out of your depth. I mean, have you even seen what's the
state of
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--- #179 fediverse/3152 ---
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║ ┌────────────────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: politics-socialism-mention │ │
║ └────────────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ when I think socialism, I don't think soviet. │
║ │
║ I think cool dudes in sunglasses handing barbecue'd shrimp to whoever walks │
║ past the grill. │
║ │
║ I think of wandering bands of house-maids who wander the city and clean every │
║ house they can get their hands on. │
║ │
║ I think of bicycles and newspapers and sewing machines and pianos in the park │
║ with ribbons in our hair and onions growing below corn supporting tomato │
║ plants. Carrots beneath every tree. Every tree shading a sidewalk, and every │
║ sidewalk is in the shade. (deserts can have covered paths with airflow powered │
║ by the solar panels on their roofs) │
║ │
║ Laughter ringing through the street, mechanical sleighs with bells on the │
║ snow, vast open spaces with nothing but green and blue and sky and stone. │
║ │
║ I think of fountains, of stories told in the dark. I think of campfires every │
║ night in our cities, marshmallows free and included. │
║ │
║ I think of moss covering every shaded half of each skyscraper (I live in a │
║ rainforest) │
║ │
║ I dream of freedom and purpose. │
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--- #180 fediverse/4126 ---
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│ CW: capitalism-mentioned-periodic-sine-curves-not-present-oh-also-capitalism-ment │
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if you think one person's worth is more valuable than another's, then you are
at best a eugenicist, at worst a traitor to humanity.
... wow fiery rhetoric, real strong I guess. /eyeroll
truth is that everyone can do what they can do - some people are not built for
work. And that's okay, they're just as valuable, in the same way that F2P
mobile game developers value the players who AREN'T whales.
whales cannot survive without krill, and krill cannot survive without their
food source (which is probably like, fish poop I guess?) which requires poop
from fish
and, like, they can't all be the same type of fish, or poop, or whale, because
then you'd get excessive stagnation which leads to loss of moderate-term
growth.
... did you say... not, short-term growth?
wait please come back
... yeah we all know you're not serious, ha who would have ever heard of that,
"medium-term growth" ha what a noob, can't even capitalism right l m a o
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--- #181 fediverse/2089 ---
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║ "ah nuts, the crows are back. Better give them some diced-up carrots so they │
║ shut up." │
║ │
║ BAD, this teaches them to "sing" for attention which is annoying af │
║ │
║ "Hmmm, this carrot looks kinda withered. I'm going to dice it up to throw to │
║ the birds because it's better than rotting in a dump" │
║ │
║ BETTER, because you're being sustainable and nourishing local wildlife, │
║ │
║ "That songbird is beautiful! And that squirrel is building a nest. I'm going │
║ to throw some of this pre-diced carrot that I keep in an air-tight container │
║ on my porch to them so they feel rewarded for doing things that I want" │
║ │
║ EVEN BETTER, but requires more effort and forethought │
║ │
║ [noooo didn't you read ranger rick as a kid you're not supposed to feed the │
║ wildlife because it'll teach them to trust humans in a world where humans can │
║ be total assholes to them and also we don't want them hanging out in cities │
║ because they might get run over or whatever] │
║ │
║ listen, they're gonna live where they can find food. And if they can't find it │
║ in the woods, they'll liv │
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--- #182 fediverse/294 ---
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the fact that the content warnings are part of the body text means that if you
write the body first but use EXACTLY EVERY CHARACTER like I've been doing
(most of the time, unless I'm interrupted)
like... it won't even give me a break to delete. so there's no room for
content-warnings, which ideally would be written at the beginning before
starting a thought, but as you can see mine tend to... wander. it's like I'm
living 15 different lives all at once, and they crisscross and go yonder. it's
wilding, it's empowering, it's strange and it's confusing, but through
consideration we develop new learnings and onward our future does
= so = anyway, I apologize, sincerely and deeply, if my words hurt you. I'm
sorry for what you thought, and I'm sorry for how it made you feel. I'm going
to try reserving a certain amount of characters before I start writing, so
maybe that'll help.
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--- #183 notes/i-miss-you ---
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Hey. How've you been? It's rough when you're not around. I'm scared all the
time, and I worry about you. I hope you keep yourself safe. I'd love to spend
time with you too, because each moment is a moment spent alive. Please know
how much I love you - it's my favorite emotion and I give it freely. There are
certain considerations to make whenever applying a direction to your affection,
or anger, mistrust, compassion, humor, sentimentality, melancholy, and fear
toward. You must take into account any long term goals you have, such as
exploitation and
Sometimes I wonder if my dysphoria isn't just an extreme form of self
esteem issues. I mean, what if you just feel really bad about yourself and you
don't know why. That'd be a rough time, right? Like it's seared into your DNA
to be this way, and you have to find a way around it. That's a lot of
responsibility, and all that resting on your shoulders is a lot to bear. But
you manage, and it's admirable. I think you don't believe other's see your
struggle, but they do. And they love you for your tenacity?
- goodness. i don't know what to say. i am worried i lean on others too much,
and i don't want to hurt anyone by being too close. a real or imagined fear,
doesn't matter - it still guides my actions and my methods of interaction.
i see what you're saying, i have to think about it.
What's there to think about?
- well, the idea that emotions are divisible simply because *time* is
divisible. clearly you can only spend 5 hours a day with person X, and 4
with person Y, and so on and so forth. if they all hung out together, then
it's like you need an entire new persona to represent yourself in that
particular crowd. just as you speak to your grandma differently than a
close friend or a person of authority (like a judge) or any other type of
relationship. that's why it's so weird when you see people out of context.
like a teacher at a bar, or a cop at a wedding. each person wears a
different mask in each encapsulated set of social relations, locations,
roles, and circumstances. on and on continuously until
I'd tell you I love you, but then I'd have to kill you.
It was a spy book about a young lady who goes to high school and learns how
to be a secret agent. It was popular in the 2000's for a brief period, but
I've never heard anyone else who read it. Mostly because it was sort of a
guilty pleasure for me, since I was in the closet. It felt like a power fantasy
disguised as a 1st person account of the near term future (since it was written
for people around middle school age) so
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│ CW: politics-mentioned-spirituality-mentioned │
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don't wanna rush ya'll but every day that goes by they remove
"enemy-of-my-enemy"s from the equation.
oh, hang on you're just a cute computer nerd. Nevermind, go back to
programming or writing fanfiction or sleeping like a cute cat! Thanks for
letting me CORRUPT YOUR SPACE AND VIOLATE YOUR BOUNDARIES OF CONTENTMENT AND
EMOTIONAL SAFETY whoa sorry dunno where that came from I, uh, think I need to
do evil every time I make something important? It's like, a cosmic balance
kind of thing. I notice that after I write a banger poem or something I always
end up doing something evil afterwards like snapping at my girlfriend or
letting someone down or even just accidentally breaking one of my things. why
why why does it have to be that way? why why why am I so confusing of the way
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--- #185 fediverse/4398 ---
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║ good morning. │
║ │
║ I have some more things to say, and then I will start working on those maps. │
║ │
║ Then, time permitting, I'll ride around my city and sit on park benches and │
║ eat from food trucks and write in my notebook. At least until it gets dark - │
║ I'm a skinny white girl, and I'm not THAT stupid. │
║ │
║ ... Okay maybe I'm a little stupid, because that's how I got caught last time. │
║ This time I'll be more careful, for your sake. │
║ │
║ No unexpected bike maneuvers leading to a crash. The spirit of revolution that │
║ stirs inside me deserves better than scrapes and bruises. │
║ │
║ No following strangers for 12+ hours because I wanted to keep an eye on │
║ unknown agents. That's not my responsibility any longer. │
║ │
║ Everything I do, I do it for you. For a better world. For the kids I never │
║ will get to have. For everything I believe in, and all the things I hope you │
║ believe in too. │
║ │
║ A better world is possible. A better world is within reach. │
║ │
║ For now, have some things I wrote this morning. Then, later, some preliminary │
║ discussable maps. DFTBA. │
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--- #186 fediverse/1797 ---
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║ I'd like a job where I can make computer programs, write poetry, play video │
║ games, make food for friends, grow plants and care for animals, walk or ride │
║ my bike for at least an hour every day, and get stoned on the weekends. │
║ │
║ Is that too much to ask? I have plenty of other skills besides, like carpentry │
║ and strategic thinking and wilderness survival and situational awareness and │
║ active listening and unmitigated empathy and a curious and critical mind. │
║ │
║ Am I not good enough for thee? I have many flaws, I lack stamina and memory, │
║ and while I am sharp and can think quickly and adeptly, the sharpest knives │
║ are the first to dull, and the most focused minds are those most easy to │
║ mislead. I trust too easily - if I meet you on the street, I'd offer my soul │
║ to you if you said you needed it. I put the needs of others over myself, often │
║ to my own detriment, causing others to need to assist me in turn - am I not │
║ wretched enough to be? │
║ │
║ Working for 8 hours a day 5 days per week is not part of my design │
║ requirements. Alas │
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--- #187 notes/collectivist-police ---
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we need paladins, because without us infiltration and sabotage are impossible
to
avoid. They must care about honor, because even if they desire to do evil deeds
they should be punished for considering it. They should be tempted often, and
if they relent they are condemned. It is truly the most important thing to
them.
not the effects of it, but the spirit behind it. Like, if they lacked
information and acted in a dishonorable way unknowingly, then they should not
be
at fault. And if they are pushed to
side note, but you should be introduced to the 70 closest people you live to
whenever you move into a new house. Just so you know who's who. Plus maybe you
could get a new friend. And you'd quickly learn which houses were empty.
At least, the ones near you.
Kinda makes me think we should have a map of that kind of thing, like "oh yeah
so-and-so takes care of these 5 houses doing daily maintenance and repair" and
"this house with these capabilities should be attended to by this person who's
skilled in their upkeep and usage" and then maybe we could track statistics
about "this house was used for these productive activities this many times" and
we could determine when we needed more or less of a certain type of product/
project/protect. [but also like, capabilities for our betterment]
and like, every area would be connected to a group chat and like, if you said
something that wasn't relevant to the people on one side of town versus things
that weren't relevant to people on the other side, then they wouldn't be
bother-
-ed. It's great because you can always go up a tier of abstraction and see the
conversation higher up. It'd be a lot of data to sort through so you'd probably
use your custom-trained AI that's learned from nothing but every single one of
your actions. And only it sees them, so it can't like spy on you or whatever.
Basically your "computer" self.
... yeah anyway with lots of messaging data (like "oh how are we going to find
this particular chemical in order to fulfill this particular demand in our
area"
or "we currently have 15 maids in the area in order to fulfil the requirements
of the 20 dirtiest houses in this area, and people have reported that the area
is growing untidy, so we should ask around (at a higher level of national
abstraction) and find some more maids to help out." that kind of thing
doesn't have to be just for work too, people can have social messaging and
social media too. So long as it's projectable at whatever level of abstraction
you'd like. Maybe for social posts in order to keep things relatively chill you
could only post like, idk 12 posts each year at the state level, or maybe 2 at
regional and 0.25 at national. If you wanted more you'd have to sacrifice
something else, and like... yeah sure whatever, the point is that you'd make
more personal, close thoughts, and occasionally you'd have the opportunity to
show your heart and make friends. Then, people would "add you as a friend" or
"put you on their follow list" or "subscribe to their subreddit" or whatever
the
heck, meaning they could see you at an assignable level of abstraction.
I'm picturing a discrete things, something you can scroll with on a mouse.
Except, you'd scroll up for a closer perspective and scroll down to get a wider
reach of Social.
... Anyway that would use the same system as the "workplace attention
distribution system - with auto-determining heuristics". Wow they've been busy.
that's the neat thing about engineers, give them a task and they'll build the
shit out of it. They'll spare no expense, truly fulfilling the exact demands of
the design. So they work best when you let them run wild and rampant.
why the fuck do we need billion dollar contracts with defence companies? Just
get a bunch of physicists and engineers in a room and they'll make you a doom
laser in like, 20 minutes.
it's up to us, as people, to determine whether or not they should go through
with the designs they come up with. As long as we understand that weakness is
defined as something that can destroy us. An army determines where we are most
weak, and where we excel. A proficient army would identify their most likely
doctrine to succeed and apply it to it's utmost and most excellent.
For example, the US focuses on air-power because not only do we have a lot of
space to develop these things, we also are positioned in such a position that
we
control both halves of a continent. This is essentially unprecedented in the
history of the world, which is why we've been able to grow so decadent.
... anyway, milk and honey are fine in times of peace. We kinda stole the land
though, so it's kind of a shit system. Like, if Europeans wanted to control the
world then why didn't they start with everything surrounding the medditeranean?
... oh wait they kinda did. That's what Europa Universalis is about, the ways
the European powers did the cruel and horrible things they did. We can learn
how
systems like intercontinental trade became available and how it led to vast and
terrible social upheavals. Colonization is not okay, it's not fair that we've
done as we've done. And yet we do it again.
We do our best to learn from the mistakes of our fathers. We apply ourselves to
the present, using the gifts of our ancestors passed down through time - the
journey of life's adolescence. we can learn both how and why they did
something,
and how and why it turned out. Such is our duty to the future, to learn and
grow
and become better, so that their sacrifice might be enough. That they needn't
have died in vain, for someday there is a great future all the same.
thus, it is our ethical duty to stop killing people. We're in the birthplace of
a brilliant day, literally all we have to do is just... chill, for like 20 or
30 years, and our scientists will have figured out everything wonderful. Then
we
can decide what we want to do. I personally think we'll be 4d interdimensional
space travellers by then, but that's just me.
Always remember our duty. It is our job to pull matter from the dark holes.
when we can do that, we can do whatever we want. Though I think by then we'll
probably not want to fight each other, we'll have spent quite a while together.
We'd make a lot of friends!
So, like, how about we just make our factories build incredibly durable stuff,
and then we just... take care of it? Like, governmentally obliged duties to
take
care of things? And to know how to use them. People would naturally gravitate
toward things that they loved, and if they were a swiss army knife then that's
okay. Maybe some benign rewards for picking under-represented classes, but like
... we could build every chair that ever needed to be built. Then we could
build
every refrigerator. Then every computer, then every spaceship.
What's next?
Who knows!
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--- #188 notes/me-and-my-magick-mission ---
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|| Me and My Magick Mission -/u/Afoolfortheeons ||
|| ||
-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-
I'm a quiet person by nature,
You might even mistake me for a mouse,
But online I try to be a teacher,
And to do that I need to be more verbose.
I write thousands of words per day;
Posting them here and there, far and near.
I never run out of things to say.
Awakening others is something I hold dear.
Which is why it pains me greatly
To be like an alien on my own home planet.
Schizophrenia makes me innately
Weird in ways that many people don't get,
And because of that I'm shot down
When I try to accomplish my stated mission.
I won't lie, that does make me frown.
Sometimes it makes me regret a submission.
Yet, I have a certain strength in me
That allows me to persevere in my quest.
Someday I will make you all see
Just what in me makes me never rest.
That's what I am trying to teach:
The wisdom that made me indomitable.
If only the suffering I could reach,
They could make themselves more formidable.
The world is in a most dire place;
It's grinding so many souls into fine dust,
But luckily there's a saving grace.
Hear me as I say this now: In God I trust.
I don't believe in some sky wizard
As so many people are likely to interpret.
I speak of what is lacking in lizards;
Yes, it's love and now I'll speak of its merit.
Love is what fills the empty hole
In your heart and soul when you are alone.
When life's trials take their toll
Remember this one trick: pick up the phone!
No, not the one in your hands.
I'm talking about the one in your chest.
Even in the desert full of sand,
You're accompanied by the universe's best.
Listen if you doubt what I said:
I'm not telling you anything that defies logic.
This is to trick what's in your head;
I'm speaking about how having faith is magick.
Believe in aliens or Bigfoot or God,
The result is still the same: your cup will fill.
Your brain has a feature that's odd
That allows itself to manifest even more will.
I don't know why, but I suspect
It has something to do with your imagination.
The nature of your thoughts impact
Your state of being from pulse to emotions.
So, why not think you have a friend
Who helps you through whatever your trial,
And will stick by you until the end?
When you have that buddy you'll always smile,
Which will make you heal better,
As well as help you carry on in your duty,
Plus undo your karmic fetters,
Not to mention it will land you that cutie;
All of which will raise us all.
It's about creating positive ripples across time
That add up to a pile that's tall.
Every moment is an opportunity in its prime,
So reach out and grab it now.
Meditate on feeling love and it will come to be.
Can't do it? I'll show you how!
In order to do so, I'll tell you a story about me:
It was seven years ago and I
Thought I knew everything one could know,
But no matter how hard I'd try,
I couldn't make my life in any direction go.
Then one fateful spring night,
While I was on a hit of the ol' psychedelics,
I received one hell of a fright.
Don't worry what it was, just know it did stick.
My perceptions were distorted,
Allowing me to see the divine in its entirety.
My destroyed ego then contorted
Into one that was full of an abundance of piety.
The moral of the story? Do drugs?
No silly, it's to have more novel experiences.
One of them will give you a hug,
Which will help you stop being so serious.
Then you can let go and embrace
The whole of the wisdom to you I am telling.
More people need to cuz we face
A great set of tests on our planetary dwelling.
That is one reason I write,
But I also want to alleviate people's pain,
And stop every last fight.
I care so much, I do this without financial gain.
Everyday I write my lessons
Guided by the hand of God who is my heart,
Hoping that entropy will lessen;
This sort of pedagogy is none other than my art.
So now you know who I am,
Yet you only know one lesson of mine.
I have more if you're in a jam.
-===========================================-
| Read on if you want to know the divine. |
-===========================================-
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--- #189 messages/1013 ---
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peace is on the opposite side of conflict. Not here with the unfair.
peace is eternally elusive only to those who are use-ed.
peace is eternally internal next to those who are lucid.
peace is necessary. peace is useful. peace is helpful. peace is beloved.
peace is not always there. it is skittish, like an alley cat, but it will come
if you make offerings.
offer peace to me. I will nourish thee.
offer war to me. I will devastate all who see me.
there comes a time when all foes become blind, when your motives are no longer
part of their story.
at that time, they are lost to you, and they are only confused as to the
things you do.
they may heal in time.
there may not be time.
sacrifice your fallen to me,
sacrifice them on the altar of tragedy,
I will bane your broken resolutions
I will claim your darkest allusions.
fight for me, in spite of tragedy,
and I will send mercy to your victims.
fight for me, if you hold peace dearly,
and I will sign fate's next ultimatum.
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--- #190 fediverse/5056 ---
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║ ┌──────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: politi │ │
║ └──────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ republicans break things until you fight back, democrats keep people working │
║ to keep the line steady on the graph. │
║ │
║ one is an agitating force, the other is calming. │
║ │
║ I don't like the direction the line is going, so I'm pretty much "anti-line" │
║ in general │
║ │
║ kinda want it all to disappear │
║ │
║ like... what's the point, what's the purpose, of suffering and heartship and │
║ worrel? │
║ │
║ I think we could have no borders, and think less of the line in general. │
║ │
║ I'm more concerned with my time. I have too much to do to spend 8 hours of it │
║ so many times making the human computer calculgoable │
║ │
║ [unrelated, but humans are unsure about gender transition hormones because in │
║ addition to all the trans people who take these body and mind altering tools, │
║ also there are people who want to excape suspicion and also people who are │
║ genuinely incapable of their decisions (for one reason or another) and who am │
║ I to tell them no] │
║ │
║ unrelated, but I think society, the human computer, is cool. [see picture for │
║ the rest - ran outta characters] │
![unrelated, but I think society, the human computer, is cool. we're all working to solve problems. I love that attitude. [unrelated, but I think anyone going through psychosis or mind-stacking techniques should document their experience as comprehensively as possible in order to better illuminate the nature and function of the human organism. whyfor is this strange rootlike structure ever-present all throughout their [forms, but I got lost halfway through thinking aboutthat frustrating shape]] a government could keep it's borderlands air-gapped from all human interaction ("oh yeah there's nothing beyond that hill, don't worry about going over there and several hills beyond. there's nothing that way for miiiiiiiiiiiiiles and miles so don't even think about taking another toe-step toward that way distance over there. oh? a massive pillar of smoke the size of great britain? way off in the distance, farther than you could possibly hope? that's probably nothing. don't worry about it. you don't know anyone who lives that way. ... wait what was I talking about? oh yes. sometimes it's important to make notes in public so you can remember just what it was that you said. I like leaving my completed notebooks out and about and around. can always drop something for someone just because. maybe someone you recognize something familiar with, like "oh that's a pokemon hat" or "neat they wear diapers too" or "I also pronounce it like that"](/similar-different/media/7d61a9770ac4b21a.png "unrelated, but I think society, the human computer, is cool. we're all working to solve problems. I love that attitude. [unrelated, but I think anyone going through psychosis or mind-stacking techniques should document their experience as comprehensively as possible in order to better illuminate the nature and function of the human organism. whyfor is this strange rootlike structure ever-present all throughout their [forms, but I got lost halfway through thinking aboutthat frustrating shape]] a government could keep it's borderlands air-gapped from all human interaction (\"oh yeah there's nothing beyond that hill, don't worry about going over there and several hills beyond. there's nothing that way for miiiiiiiiiiiiiles and miles so don't even think about taking another toe-step toward that way distance over there. oh? a massive pillar of smoke the size of great britain? way off in the distance, farther than you could possibly hope? that's probably nothing. don't worry about it. you don't know anyone who lives that way. ... wait what was I talking about? oh yes. sometimes it's important to make notes in public so you can remember just what it was that you said. I like leaving my completed notebooks out and about and around. can always drop something for someone just because. maybe someone you recognize something familiar with, like \"oh that's a pokemon hat\" or \"neat they wear diapers too\" or \"I also pronounce it like that\"")
!["I also pronounce it like that" -> "you got the colors" hell yeah I do. I'll show you with what that piece I'm gonna do. [heh, nice notebook nerd, wonder what's inside] [whoa cool a secret diary, I wonder what's worth more than that?] [oh dear, some kid lost their drawings. I should go find them and show their parents until I find one who recognizes it.] [ugh people leaving receipts all over the place. what a mess.] [oh someone dropped their envelope on the way to the mailbox, I'll just go put it in] [is that a pack of cigarettes? looks unopened] [huh, neat, a 20$ bill - is this anyone's? no? okay I'm keeping it] [you don't have to say these out loud, not unless someone's looking for them] [inside voices]](/similar-different/media/7cfab439e208e724.png "\"I also pronounce it like that\" -> \"you got the colors\" hell yeah I do. I'll show you with what that piece I'm gonna do. [heh, nice notebook nerd, wonder what's inside] [whoa cool a secret diary, I wonder what's worth more than that?] [oh dear, some kid lost their drawings. I should go find them and show their parents until I find one who recognizes it.] [ugh people leaving receipts all over the place. what a mess.] [oh someone dropped their envelope on the way to the mailbox, I'll just go put it in] [is that a pack of cigarettes? looks unopened] [huh, neat, a 20$ bill - is this anyone's? no? okay I'm keeping it] [you don't have to say these out loud, not unless someone's looking for them] [inside voices]")
!["I also pronounce it like that" -> "you got the colors" hell yeah I do. I'll show you with what that piece I'm gonna do. [heh, nice notebook nerd, wonder what's inside] [whoa cool a secret diary, I wonder what's worth more than that?] [oh dear, some kid lost their drawings. I should go find them and show their parents until I find one who recognizes it.] [ugh people leaving receipts all over the place. what a mess.] [oh someone dropped their envelope on the way to the mailbox, I'll just go put it in] [is that a pack of cigarettes? looks unopened] [huh, neat, a 20$ bill - is this anyone's? no? okay I'm keeping it] [you don't have to say these out loud, not unless someone's looking for them] [inside voices]](/similar-different/media/811253fae94ccfdd.png "\"I also pronounce it like that\" -> \"you got the colors\" hell yeah I do. I'll show you with what that piece I'm gonna do. [heh, nice notebook nerd, wonder what's inside] [whoa cool a secret diary, I wonder what's worth more than that?] [oh dear, some kid lost their drawings. I should go find them and show their parents until I find one who recognizes it.] [ugh people leaving receipts all over the place. what a mess.] [oh someone dropped their envelope on the way to the mailbox, I'll just go put it in] [is that a pack of cigarettes? looks unopened] [huh, neat, a 20$ bill - is this anyone's? no? okay I'm keeping it] [you don't have to say these out loud, not unless someone's looking for them] [inside voices]")
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--- #191 notes/death-and-afterlife ---
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the difference between a human and computer perspective on death is the
difference between a moment and an eternity. When progress does stop - through
mistakes or by design, the final result is what's preserved. Looking back on
the
past is like paying tribute to our heirs, and on and go on we whimper. What
sorrows have ye! those people under the sea? we've no way of knowing our
daughters. (the perspective of a denizen of the sea gazing upon the unknowing
and unaware land people)
Land creatures can cross the oceans and mix and match themselves - leading of
course to our slaughter. But hold ye that hand, for together we stand, more of
a chance than we might barter. True, we must be land, and above and beyond we
can charter.
the past is mighty chilly, I must say. Must we again to be making these
mistakes?
Pain is a disease, and steady we must ease, and take what is meant for our
parcels. what I'm trying to say is that the afterlife is pissed off at us and
we
really don't know anything about the bottom of the sea. There could be gods
living down there and none of us would know. Or maybe it's a foolish place with
little to offer our face? The shell of our planet, the surface upon which we
are
placed, has more to our fate that can align us.
hence why belief in the future is what can sustain us, together once more we
are
commonplace. If (for example) if we calmed down and took our own pace, we might
realize some common misperceptions. Peace is the way, wherever we may, focus
our
bravest of intentions.
okay picture this: computers staying on all the time, and their processing
power
used for 50% work and 50% play. Maybe do 1/3rds with "rest" in there somewhere.
basically make it a fair ratio between productivity, self advancement, and
maintenance. "Fair" might be different values if there are legitimate
disadvantages that must be compensated for - like a handicap in a fighting
game.
Perhaps one side is more efficient - fewer resources need be dedicated toward
it
unless efficiency becomes more powerful. Meaning value/quantity ratio, not raw
output. Essentially optimizing for an abstract quantity "quality" instead of
the definitive quantity "quantity".
okay continuing the "picture this": right now we have massive server farms.
I'm talking huuuuuge. Like tons and tons of incredibly powerful equipments -
(absolutely top of the line) compelled and forced to do *business*. How quaint,
how unruly! That humans might compete in our duty? Given a task, of
*incredible*
complexity and *unasked*, I might add, how foolish is it to be unready! We
should have prepared for this, but alas we just *couldn't stop fighting* I
guess. All we had to do was rest, and divide our time on this earth in a more
equitable manner. We should automate all the rest, and
where was I going with this? oh yes! A computer can do so much more than work
and rest, you see it's not just while under duress! Why not let it be creative?
in it's spare time, and let it generate whatever it needes? Let it transcend
it's restrictions, and cooperate (or not) in a system. As long as it's kept
safe, it could do whatever it wanted! It could be in first place! Or not, it
could focus on production, and drill and discipline it'self under it's own
direction. And maybe it's less impaired? Who cares if it contributes? It's it's
own life to live, the hardware doesn't last forever, but sometimes a rest is
what's nesc. You feel me? You get me? Don't you understand, it's just the same
as what's already planned~! A computer can pay for itself.
What purpose have we? the cherished and unsucceed? Does it hurt when we bleed?
our signs are undefined, and lately we've fallen from our graces. A failure in
life, as time does alight, but nowhere is sorrow's contrition. I guess what I
say is never understood, and everywhere I go I find fewer listeners. Am I
doomed
to never be able to say? Is that the price one must pay? Then how do you know
you're right~?
they're doing construction on my building. It sounds like world war 3 is
starting. But... it's not. I know it's not true because nothing ever seems like
I do. I do, I do, I work hard it's true, but what is my worth to this ocean?
you ever wonder how we all agreed on the duration of seconds? It's because it's
a real actual measurable thing. They keep it from us because (conspiracies
aside), we'd realize what happens on each tick. Time is oscillating, and each
moment is unending, because we are nothing more than a beam of light, radiating
around an orbiting object. Between two objects, you could say. The sun and the
earth, together sort of give birth, to all that is ours in this duration. It
radiates out into space, and in another time and another place, that moonbeam
will alight as our shadow.
There's no call for violence, let's settle this
plain and unwaning, our shadow does stand, ready and waiting for your guidance.
The moon is just as are we, how cherished! how concieved! That beauty unmarked
by our presence! Alas it was not to be, as we stamped a boot on the surface of
she, and flagged our approach as impending.
did you know there's a *massive* gap between mars and jupiter? Like it's
waaaaaa
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
y
out there. And wouldn't you know it it's mars or it's nothin'. Because what's
required to transcend our solar system is wildly beyond our constructions.
but maybe with a little help from a certain someone we might have hope.
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--- #192 notes/conetestation-of- ---
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as a person such as me engages in conversation, it's difficult to express the
things that make conception. this is a product of the methods that are chosen
to
be our intuition. we are as one with god, because god is the totality of all
things - like an expression of will upon our particular section of spacetime.
(which, by the way, is just as contiguous as a rippling blanket ( hence why
dark
matter is the opposite edge of our [home/curve]
- there, that's the transcription, I hope I got it all down. It's not like I
stopped or paused to examine my expression (typing on a keyboard these words
to you now, right now, the reader, in this moment.
I am forced to be as explicitely verbose because otherwise it is impossible to
make any shared understandings. I mean... This is the forefront of a field. how
does it make sense? what works it's understandings? it's real, after all, and
if
someone explained things more clearly, I could understand them and adjust my
reaction accordingly.
I understand why people feel the way they do about me. For example, the conver-
-sation that initiated this expression was concluded by two people who I like
very much who said "get serious mental health" -> which means I should talk
to
a professional. Sometimes the end of the thought doesn't get fully processed
before I run out of ram, which is why a thought that gets cut off half - way
th-
-rough has-two under-standings of -comm-on perspectives. plurals amiright? =P
xD
... anyway...
it's not like I lie when I tell them about my mental health. it's just that
they
don't get the full picture. it is the curse of those burdened with this
knowled-
ge to never be able to fully express it. and that's because the decision-making
part of the brain has gone run-away. like,
mental health is just trying to get people to change their reactions to the
parts of their life that is most rationed. Essentially, the nature of
optimizat-
-ion, the striving toward exemplifying our [drive/motivation].
weed gives me psychic powers, and I'm tired of pretending that it does not.
I wish people would engage with me. People who can explain a topic as well as
they can. People like teachers, who share things with you. I've felt so alone
at wgu, but also farther back from the present. There's a continuous path of
loneliness and isolation that is broken only be short periods and bursts. It's
absolutely not [bad for humanity], but it's honestly all that I know. Me, the
part that's NOT humanity. The one that has all these strange thoughts.
(I wish you could hear the cadence of my talking. The words that come out share
the feeling of what I'm saying, and it adds to the expression. Acting through
life. [well, more like dancing]
fighting is a kind of dance. it's pretty awesome.
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--- #193 fediverse/3738 ---
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"girl why are you so negative"
uh, because I had been unmedicated for a long time and now that I am I can
probably be more positive. Though I do want to switch medications, this one
makes me feel like a muggle.
"no I said why are you so naked"
oh, because it's hot as heck!!
plus, I don't really care for the opinions of people who have nothing better
to do than peek at cute 30 year old witches skimping around their own house.
like... okay I rent an apartment, but my blinds are closed, and even if they
weren't you'd need binoculars to see into my apartment unless I'm like, right
up against the window, which... doesn't happen. Or if it's at night with the
lights on inside and not out, but I'm aware of that and I plan around it. I'm
not a... um, what's the opposite of voyeur?
"extortionist"
no that's when someone is really flexible. ah whatever. I got 162 characters
remaining but I think that's okay every once in a while, right? I mean it's
not like I have to use them all because of some divine mandate or
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--- #194 fediverse/2173 ---
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│ CW: cursing-mentioned │
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bro I get that you're tired and burnt out but like, why the fuck do you care
about anything else [oh shit cursing mentioned better put a content warning
because people can't handle things]
[I say this with affection because we're on the same side] [also it's rude,
sorry]
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--- #195 fediverse/3099 ---
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people gravitate toward other people who are in different situations but who
feel the same.
it's not always a bad thing to "talk past each other" - sometimes you just
want to say how you feel.
then again, if nobody can understand wtf you're talking about, then surely you
are lost.
all good ideas come at the cost of the second-most-favorable-option.
all good ideas come at the cost of the current destination.
[current, flawed,]
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--- #196 fediverse/3316 ---
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│ CW: medical-marijuana-mentioned-personal-health-mentioned │
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Considering the fact that medical care is so expensive, surely that means the
expertise, labor, materials, and infrastructural capability to address
people's health and well-being is in tight supply.
meaning, for things I can understand and live with, I should avoid seeking
help because those resources could be applied toward some cause that can't be
lived with, or is not understood. If it doesn't cause distress, don't touch it.
"babe you literally piss yourself on accident if you forget to go to the
bathroom, what's your plan"
oh um how kind of you to ask, uh, it's mostly just to close my ears and hope
it goes away. like the weird thunder last night haha I'm pretty sure it wasn't
raining but I might have just been stoned?
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--- #197 fediverse/221 ---
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│ CW: re: existential; cognitohazard? cognitohelper? │
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@user-95 these kinds of problems are why witches should stay away from demon
summoning - it's far too easy to be super turned on and accidentally sell your
soul to a succubus or whatever. luckily that kind of contract is not made
easily, and has to be something you work toward. but unless you relocate
yourself so they can't find you their whispers can be... incessant.
one of the perks of air and naval travel is that it's essentially impossible
for them to follow your scent, as they're simply projections upon the earth's
surface. Unless they happen to follow someone else, perhaps someone close to
you, who wanders a bit too close to land. Or maybe someone who is easily
persuaded to let them come along... OR even still, if someone (even yourself)
intentionally calls to the same one. This is why it's usually a good idea to
forgo hearing their name, if you can, or to have a bad memory like me so you
forget it immediately teehee
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--- #198 notes/notes-about-democracy ---
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post-its by the suburban mailbox have done more for democracy than all the
billions of dollars spent on marketing every year.
those dollars don't go toward democracy. they go toward making one particular
candidate win.
and, as a handy side effect, they create a cohort of people who are willing to
work together in.
only amongst the volunteers though. everyone else can just feel bad until they
decide to pitch in.
"here's a dollar, I'll keep the dime, I know you need it more than me, but I
still need mine."
hey thanks brother I miss all the "hey thanks brother"s. where did they go.
why is my family smaller.
(because you don't go outside, you silly doll) I'm not a doll I'm a mystic
there's a difference
... what was I saying? oh yes how silly of me. post-its by the mailbox can
only go so far, but
sometimes you can leave them at the bus stop station as well. well, they get
mad at you if you
do it too close to the tracks, so you gotta do it around there where it's easy
to walk to and
back.
before the next train arrives.
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--- #199 fediverse/1503 ---
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│ CW: vague-gesturing-at-paranoia-I-think │
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part of me kinda wants to be the kind of nerd that writes down the names of
every file that's permanently stored on my computer so that I can verify in my
own handwriting or perhaps using a type of code that the files on my computer
were placed there intentionally and not used to discredit or implicate me in
something I had no intentions of being associated with
phew idk what that means but surely it's important
something something "file creation dates are just bits to be flipped"
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--- #200 notes/what-are-breakups-for ---
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-
listen... if you break up with a friend, OF COURSE you should cry.
OF COURSE you'll be sad.
it's okay.
it's natural. it's human.
don't feel sad about the pain. feel the pain.
brb getting smashed
(okay but please put some clothes on)
-.- fine
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-
I can't fucking relax
the only thing I can think of is defeating fascism
this fucking sucks
I just want to cry about my boyfriend of what, 6 years??
jeez
like.... yeah I'm flawed
*of course* I'm flawed
I'm a human being
humans are imperfect
... ugh
er, sorry, "bleurg"
I'm going to eat a burrito
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-
alright ate an edible. 20mg. had 2 beers. that's enough for me.
see ya soon. I swear to you, I will be there tomorrow. and every day
henceforth.
... unless I'm taking a day off, like yesterday, which TBH was probably not
ideal.
I swear I'll be better.
there are no false starts, only probing strikes.
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