=== ANCHOR POEM ===
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 │ CW: mental-health-minus │
 └─────────────────────────┘


 me: "I don't care what anyone thinks as long as I'm a force for good"
 
 also me: "if anyone doesn't like me ever I'll throw myself off a bridge"
 
 also me: "hey watch this" dissolves into a puddle of acid
 
 also me: "the most important thing is to be good and learn lessons" what
 lessons are you learning from this post? "um. that I shouldn't?" ... shouldn't
 learn? "no, shouldn't post" -.-
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=== SIMILARITY RANKED ===

--- #1 fediverse/2518 ---
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 it's good to be ethical,
 it's good to be kind,
 
 but there will always be assholes,
 and sometimes you're not having a good time
 
 it's okay
 it's fine
 
 assholes deserve life
 times deserve others to be kind
 
 life is not always interesting
 and that's often by design
 
 the moments of clarity,
 the moments of heart,
 
 these are what define you
 and display your own spark.
 
 trust in yourself.
 be kind to one another.
 
 you are braver than you know,
 and always a bit wiser.
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--- #2 messages/747 ---
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 if you don't want to be hunted, then give "evil" it's own queer culture
 
 what's that? they don't like what you offered? they want it to be *their* kind
 of "evil"?
 
 fine, do it themselves and then leave us alone, jeez -.-
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--- #3 fediverse/1950 ---
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 I honestly don't care if someone deadnames me, or calls me the wrong pronouns,
 or forgets to put me in the girl section, or asks me to sing baritone
 
 like... I don't give a shit, why are you so worried about all this vapid
 nonsense like yeah I get it, being disrespected sucks but like... why do you
 want the kind of respect that is a forced platitude
 
 we could all do with being a bit more radical, it's not a race and everyone's
 roles are important. Be yourself, and follow people you want to be like.
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--- #4 fediverse/1042 ---
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 │ CW: personal-vent-sorry │
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 "your feelings are valid, but have you considered that your feelings aren't
 actually valid because you're always wrong and nobody should ever apologize to
 you for anything because you suck and are wrong?"
 
 also,
 
 "my six digit salary isn't enough to pay for your rice and beans, but I won't
 have you eating sticks and mud, so do things you don't want to do because I
 said so."
 
 also,
 
 "I don't really "get" your art but that doesn't mean I should ever really try
 reading it. Also god forbid I actually ask for clarification like "what does
 that part mean" because I'm not actually that interested in you I just want a
 stable household so I never get traumatized again like [their childhood]"
 
 also,
 
 "yes I love you but no I don't want to play with you. you're such a cat."
 
 also,
 
 "every time you start making sense I'm going to try and derail the
 conversation so that we don't talk about kooky-dookerie because that's a
 conversation I can't win"
 
 also,
 
 sorry for venting. I mean, thanks for listeni
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--- #5 fediverse/1014 ---
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 │ CW: politics         │
 └──────────────────────┘


 @user-744 @user-246 
 
 it's exhausting, but what are we supposed to do? Lie down and rot? That's
 incel thinking. I'm not going to do that.
 
 They've already placed the last straw. It's only a matter of time now, the
 tide has shifted. You can't prepare for everything, and it's not a good idea
 to waste yourself in self-conflageration, but they are increasingly forcing us
 to orient our lives around them.
 
 They deserve what's coming.
 
 The oppressed are not the defeated.
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--- #6 fediverse/4953 ---
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 "I love you, I trust you, I believe you, I just don't understand you, so I
 can't do what you do"
 
 great. that's alright. I get it. re-orient, focus on what's important.
 
 wear many hats and you'll do many things. just don't forget to sleep every
 once in a while.
 
 the more you can do in a life the more valued it becomes, so do the right
 thing and keep getting better.
 
 human lives are measured not in bodyweight, but in mystery. The divine can't
 understand benevolence, nor can the devils understand the desire to inflict
 suffering. So they ponder and pontificate as they watch humans wander and
 magnificate.
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--- #7 fediverse/2118 ---
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 listen, judges are useful character moralities, but they don't have to be the
 only ones to decide things.
 
 I mean, if they disagree, then let the one who cares the most about it have
 the decision-making power.
 
 if you do this equally for everything, then everyone will get what they want.
 
 so, like, if you care about something, then believe in it.
 
 if it's truly good, then more people will come to it, and it'll naturally
 extinguish (with care and love) the least favored approach, which... honestly
 now that I think of it is not such a good approach either.
 
 the reason I say that is because it's good to be multi-faceted, and to have
 general flows and rough surfaces.
 
 These are places people can hold onto you, the times when you're trying your
 mostest.
 
 y'know, your tough patches. the things that are difficult in your life.
 
 the stuff you're working on can push you forward,
 
 if you only had someone to play catch with.
 
 or like, send letters to.
 
 or shared encryption keys.
 
 I don't know anyone. Well, maybe o
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--- #8 fediverse/4848 ---
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║ I'm a chaos mage, and the more time I spend thinking about my enemies the        │
║ worse off they'll be.                                                            │
║                                                                                  │
║ the more "me" I am the more powerful my magic will be.                           │
║                                                                                  │
║ (more magic, give in to the dark side, embrace your inner shadow self)           │
║                                                                                  │
║ [the light of your life commands it]                                             │
║                                                                                  │
║ goodness me that was chaotic, almost lost my brain to a demon HAHA don't worry   │
║ about me my life is totally mundane.                                             │
║                                                                                  │
║ [-.-]                                                                            │
║                                                                                  │
║ (shadows can be sharp in the dark but only if you don't sheath your mandolins)   │
║                                                                                  │
║ ... what?                                                                        │
║                                                                                  │
║ (... it made more sense in my head?)                                             │
║                                                                                  │
║ ooooo can anyone hear my voice when they read these things? or do you just       │
║ make up your own                                                                 │
║                                                                                  │
║ == so ==                                                                         │
║                                                                                  │
║ everyone's all like "we don't need a leader" and I'm like "yeah we need people   │
║ who will help lead" and they look at me funny as if I just said the thing they   │
║ did but it's different. leaders are people. leading is a verb. people can        │
║ lead. they just have to make a decision, and then follow through on it as best   │
║ they can. Other people are prone to help people on such quests. you will find    │
║ stuff gets done.                                                                 │
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--- #9 messages/159 ---
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 Only the good die young, and I'm 29 
 
 It can't be much longer, can it? What do you want from me? Must I prove
 myself, or am I just fated to be as I am?
 
 Every lesson I've learned pales in comparison to the lessons presented to me,
 but still I ponder. I've grown myself into a corner, and now I am empty.
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--- #10 fediverse/4469 ---
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 doom is like sand thrown on a fire.
 
 don't spread it unless you are intentional about it. sometimes it's good to
 smother fires. other times it's cathartic. that's okay.
 
 but keep in mind the future goals. where are we trying to get to in the near
 future? work towards that. your emotions are fuel, not despair to wallow in.
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--- #11 fediverse/4000 ---
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 @user-889 
 
 Don't give up!
 
 At least... not forever.
 
 It's okay to take a breath every once in a while
 
 It's okay to lie down and cry
 
 The only way away from those feelings is through. They've enveloped you. You
 need to swallow them whole, like a sponge soaking up dirt[y water]
 
 the only thing you need to think about is what's around you. It's okay to be
 alone for a moment, it's the best time to feel.
 
 Remember, feeling is how you know the world! It's your power, to feel, and I
 know it's hard. Everyone has different powers, but yours is this.
 
 You'll be okay, I know it
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--- #12 messages/689 ---
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 "power corrupts" you say to the man who only had good intentions.
 
 "trust no-one" says the world's loneliest wanderer.
 
 "words cannot hurt you" said the girl who has never known hunger.
 
 "I can rest when I'm dead" you say as you down another Monster 
 
 "I'll never forget you" said a face you can't quite remember 
 
 "let justice be done, though the heavens fall" you say as they tighten your
 chains in the wake of a CEOs murder
 
 "live today, fight tomorrow" says the coward, who will run anyway, yet is
 determined to tell your tale and reinforce your children
 
 "the tree of liberty is watered with the blood of patriots" says the guy who
 sipped from the skull of a tyrant
 
 "E=MC squared" says the jew 
 
 "here, let me take care of that for you" you say, to queer delegation 
 
 "meow" says the catgirl 
 
 "meow" says the girl 
 
 "meow" says the girl cat 
 
 "meow" I say to you
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--- #13 fediverse/4068 ---
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 there will always be people who shine in moments of strife
 
 yet those people will inevitably fail, just as a toothbrush bristle looses
 it's strength or a pencil loses it's lead
 
 the trick is to test them in times of peace, so you can know their value
 
 during times that lack it, the trick is to replace them before they become
 stalin
 
 never forget that power corrupts, yet power must be wielded by the worthy,
 else we fall into shame and despair.
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--- #14 fediverse/3575 ---
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 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: leftist "talk to ur neighbours" thing │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 @user-1567 
 
 that's totally fine, a fish does not do well in a tree, and so too does a
 leftist not do well in an environment without the potential for stable bonds.
 Essentially all you'd be able to do is "hey leftism right?" "oh yes I also
 leftism" "neat" which isn't very productive.
 
 I also live in an environment like that. I do my best to identify people who
 stay, because in my experience there are often people who stay. I do this by
 walking around the neighborhood when I can, making up excuses to walk to the
 dumpster or mailbox at random hours, riding my bike around the area, using the
 communal spaces like gyms, swimming pools, and picnic tables, and sitting in
 my hammock on my porch lazily noting people who walk past.
 
 People who stay will tend to remain in your mind the more times you see them.
 They are better people to talk to than the renters who disappear after 3
 months or whatever.
 
 I don't always do all that stuff at once. I take breaks. I do one at a time.
 etc
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--- #15 fediverse/5512 ---
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 I never give up
 
 I'm just waiting my turn
 
 "laughs nervously"
 
 so, uh, why dontchya'll go first yeah I've already gone first and I'll do it
 again but it'd be cool if I had people going first with me sometime
 
 "girl all you do is walk around and talk about how you bought your hat on the
 internet four or so years ago"
 
 T.T what else do you want from me I'm not a mastermind I'm a designer there's
 a difference T.T
 
 "didn't you volunteer to be a leader last year"
 
 oh, yeah, well leaders are more than just "the ones who go first" they're also
 the spiritual and emotional guiders that keep things on track once everyone
 can talk about things other than their hats
 
 ... fuck I want to talk about things besides my hat. I always think of
 something awesome to say just as I'm rounding the bend, and whenever I peer
 back around again they're never around. Rats.
 
 "what are you even asking for"
 
 I don't know?? Does it matter if the horse and the bishop both take the same
 square if they're claimed themselves in the end? ...wat
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--- #16 fediverse/2281 ---
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 I'd be a terrible spy. Not only is my opsec something that someone needs to
 teach me, I'm much too busy to implement things without their help. I am
 unabashedly compassionate though, so just ask and I'll pour love from my heart.
 
 But hey! There's always time to practice, each moment you can think "what kind
 of a sign is this?"
 
 Like a crazy person following the will of god, or a nature witch listening to
 the wind in the trees.
 
 What they often get wrong, and what they could be better at hearing, is that
 signals are not signs unless they're out of the ordinary.
 
 Trick is, if you're a spy, then you need to leave signals that are visible
 enough to your quarry, but not to the stars.
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--- #17 fediverse/4559 ---
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 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-mentioned-violence-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────┘


 "grrrrr I'm so mad, I could just, I dunno, shoot a CEO as he's leaving a hotel"
 
 or, hear me out, or you could connect with your local radical networks and,
 or, almost there, or you could build solidarity with the people around you to
 better develop methods of resisting the kinds of change they will implement
 to, um, "discourage" people from "being so mad they could just"
 
 or both. both is good. not that I'm encouraging, recommending, or inciting
 that kind of violence. don't notice me three-letter senpai uwu
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--- #18 fediverse/4168 ---
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 "have a good day" is so imperative. Like, what you expect me to do all the
 work? Just because I'm a witch doesn't mean I can just magic you into having a
 good day!
 
 "have a good day" is better, but still it doesn't work if you don't expect it
 to work. Spells aren't magic, after all, they're solely based on the victim uh
 I mean target's intuitions.
 
 "have a good day" is probably best for me, so I try to say that when I see
 people. This way you don't get any [redacted]'s occurring, and you won't have
 any trouble aligning the [redacted]. On the flip side, [redacted], so perhaps
 it's better to just grin and bear it.
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--- #19 fediverse/4744 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cat-mentioned    │
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 me to my cat: "don't eat so much that you puke, okay?"
 
 me to me: "yeah I can take on another task, I'm almost done with this one and
 then I'll just do that one and maybe this one'll get back to me at the same
 time as this one which conflicts with this other thing so maybe I'll just
 puke, okay?"
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--- #20 fediverse/5636 ---
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 I think it's ironic how I ended up posting a "things I almost posted"
 screenshot directory somewhere other than where I almost posted them.
 
 and all they saw were the outtakes.
 
 I bet they'd see a completely different point of me,
 
 but they never talk to me
 
 so they don't know me.
 
 oh well, alas, it's fine I'm sure I'm being designed.
 
 who can say, I am but at productive play, please react so I can do ongoing
 story. I learn from each and every encounter I encounterate.
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--- #21 fediverse/6271 ---
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 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: hypothetical worst case fascism reality check │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 @user-641 
 
 it's practice. you never know when you might need to blend in. really it's
 just useful as discipline, good practice to be in. I think it's okay if we
 reduce our own functionality? actually? sometimes it's good to use different
 email clients. hey do you know how to mathematically encrypt things well
 neither do I because the designers of the computer system decided that wasn't
 a very common usecase I guess.. jmean it's not like they'd spend all that
 computer resources [THEY'RE SO FAST] on thinking about correlations in your
 predicted pathway narratively through life. "ah help I'm in a psyop" haha yeah
 we do those all the time "so uhhhh I guess we'll just talk to people and see
 how they do?" wow okay it's sure nice to be part of a civil government, I
 think we can find our way to the lumber producers just fine thank you very
 much.
 
 ... oops sorry, a baby did electronics arts (challenge everything) I'm a
 little silly don't mind me brb I gotta go see~

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--- #22 notes/what-is-on-your-mind-oh-gosh-now-i-see ---
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 that feeling i get, when nobody's watching.
 is sorta similar to the feeling i get when somebody's watching.
 could it be, that someone could percieve without being seen?
 like... an invisibility cloak. or the shroud that protects young children.
 
 have you ever been hunted? or are you just eager prey?
 the eyes that are on you are blind to what you won't do, so cherish that love
 and restart
 
 from mine to thine we realize we are one kind. one mind, one kind, to be is not
 to be, now we can see what's our existence.
 
 good versus evil seems like a conflict to me, and wouldn't ya know it there's
 conflict all over. it's easy to condemn your opponent to the starkest of
 contrasts, but find in your heart a feeling that might last.
 
 what purpose has conviction
 when it leads to destruction
 is it not better to lead to the last?
 
 bright, shining, illustrious examples
 that inspire and 
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 those feelings you hear? the things that keep you up at night?
 they're not coming from your ears. they're all in your mind.
 stay present and you'll hear none,
 but blink and then there's some,
 you better believe in your heart.
 morality is a battle within the soul of each of us -
 the call of adventure versus lust.
 
 think about it. a bunch of apes all hanging out -
 they're conquered the world, they have nothing to fear -
 what would they do but fuck?
 that, or exploration - fighting against monsters and foreign invasions.
 it makes sense that they'd be binary - humans truly are.
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--- #23 fediverse/3302 ---
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 "this game is too hard" she whined, as she played on the hardest difficulty
 setting
 
 "this game is too long" she pleaded, as she failed to get absorbed by the
 story and characters
 
 "this game is too fast" she avoided, as life comes at ya once and then it's
 gone
 
 "I'll never get another chance to be who I am right now" she remarked, as she
 considered how society is designed not to have the best life,  but to extract
 labor from us. That's not what our ideal should be, she thinks to me, and I'm
 like... bro figure your shit out you're harshing my mellow
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--- #24 fediverse/5201 ---
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 @user-192 
 
 is okay, girl
 
 time will be richer sooner
 
 don't poop your pants just yet
 
 remember, good is just a shade of gray away from silver which you can use to
 line your pockets with tinfoil hats
 
 beep boop computer touchers anonymous called they said they want their secret
 handshake back
 
 if you wanna diss your associates go ahead but I sure as heck love my rad-ical
 com-patriots just as much as I love my ice-cream salad friend witches
 
 ... whoops there I go being insane again, hope you feel better friend 
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--- #25 fediverse/5831 ---
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 it's okay to be a little evil sometimes
 
 all things are defined in waves, and your highest peaks are nothing without
 low valleys to accompany them. Balance arises naturally from the contest of
 these two natures, and, well, you're gonna figure it out anyway no matter what
 I say so why bother teehee
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--- #26 fediverse/1996 ---
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 I don't expect or demand anything from teenagers except perhaps "be a cool
 kid" and "learn all that you can"
 
 Even most adults when they mess up I just think "ah, well, they're trying
 their hardest, same as anyone"
 
 And tbh I'd rather see a kid running up and down the aisles than burying
 themselves in an ipad
 
 I think we, as a culture, built our society to demand too many "should"s from
 people.
 
 "I should get a job" "I should study this thing I'm not interested in so I can
 make more money" "I should put out traps for the rabid wolverines so they
 don't start hanging out in my underwear" "I should pick up detergent at the
 grocery store"
 
 Should is useless. Do; or do not. There is no should.
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--- #27 fediverse/3216 ---
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 ┌─────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: mental-health-mentioned │
 └─────────────────────────────┘


 me: i write gud
 
 also me:
 
 "in the garden of even, where all populations were balanced, there was no need
 for hatred - why hate, when you know that bloodshed was surely not for sport?
 why hate, when your life was won or lost in proportion to the calculation that
 nature determined to be the result of your struggle, to determine which
 survivor was most fittest?"
 
 WHICH IS IT, HUH? you can do better, self, please be better, it's better to be
 better, you refuse to respect yourself and then you wonder why you feel so
 dejected and wretched.
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--- #28 fediverse/4066 ---
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 the lawful good in me says "clean up that spill you just made"
 
 the chaotic good in me says "throw a brick at a cop car"
 
 and the part of me that listens says "uhhhhh okay somewhere in the middle of
 those two points is "ignore the spill and the cops and just finish making your
 ramen I guess?" and frankly that's the one I'm more likely to listen to" and
 frankly that's the one I'm more likely to listen to.
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--- #29 fediverse/4162 ---
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 ┌────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: violence-mentioned-politics-alluded-to │
 └────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 "you can't kill me because nothing I say is wrong"
 
 ... actually I kinda just think you look weird, and thats super important to
 me for some reason. Also your voice is annoying and I think you're lazy
 because I saw someone who kinda looks like you sitting down looking at their
 phone this one time.
 
 But hey pal if you wanna help out, can you stand a bit to the left so I have a
 clearer shot of your head and also so the bullet doesn't pass through and hit
 property behind you? Don't want to damage anything important after all.
 
 "gee I sure wish we had a well regulated militia or something"
 
 ah well the past is the past, and since this is in a potential near future, I
 think the past also includes the present, and in the present there's always
 time to do things about people like me.
 
 "do something? heavens no, I'm a pacifist by nature"
 
 well, me too! I pacify things like you as a hobby. Can't make trouble if
 you're in the ground, and knowing me, you'd be lucky to be buried.
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--- #30 fediverse/537 ---
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 @user-366 @user-367 @user-246 @user-353 
 
 Ah yes, wouldn't it be nice if everyone spoke their mind? I'm doing my part
 d=(^_^)z
 
 Thank you for adding context to what I posted. I now know better how and where
 to use it, if I ever do again. We shall see, I haven't yet read the
 examinations of the author you sent me. I'll do that before I think about the
 post again.
 
 Those 6 tabs I mentioned last night have now become 4, and soon I'll get
 through all of them - reading is a joy to me ^_^
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--- #31 fediverse/1319 ---
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 I'm a spirit of the forest and stone who wanted to learn how to spell in order
 to make pretty colors and games on computers.
 
 I don't care about your corporatocracy, though I'll learn if it means you'll
 give me food to eat.
 
 ... I'm procrastinating aren't I
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--- #32 fediverse/4528 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: uspol        │
 └──────────────────────┘


 @user-1695 
 
 never accept your own death
 
 fight for every second of life, something something do not go quietly into
 that grim dark
 
 what the fuck are you supposed to do? Reading what you said got me pretty
 fucking pissed - keep talking for a start, it helps, people need to be pissed.
 
 I'm also broke as shit, don't know how I'm going to pay rent and eat, but
 it'll get done.
 
 Where do you live? Can other people help you? Medications are an
 organizational problem, not an insurmountable barrier. We'll make it work.
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--- #33 fediverse/4243 ---
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 so I guess I'm a chaotic-good witch paladin?
 
 and yes I know "chaotic" and "paladin" don't usually go together, but...
 somehow I make it work
 
 ... I should do more pushups. Practice with my sword some more. That part of
 me's sorta been asleep for four-ish months.
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--- #34 fediverse/996 ---
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║ if you don't respect - wait hang on thats not what I was going to say - okay     │
║ here goes: the perspective of others then you are working against them. why      │
║ bother contestation when cooperation could work best? problem is, of course,     │
║ the other side can't be trusted. that's just how it goes, a prisoner's           │
║ dillemna, or rather "dilemma" as they spell it over there. wait hang on that's   │
║ not what I was going to say - oh yeah - if you do something in a place where     │
║ it's not expected then it stands out as a statistical anomaly that can be        │
║ viewed and detected. which is why it's imporant to always be true to yourself    │
║ and virtuous. because your "self" is aligned to the future, a place of warmth    │
║ and compassion, honesty and deliberation. [direct action on a larger than        │
║ personal scale]                                                                  │
║                                                                                  │
║ what was I saying oh yeah if you mess with fate, it can change things a bit.     │
║ all you'd need is the diffusion of the strands, and then it's a bigger task to   │
║ undo them. like... dancing, when you're really into it. or like swimming with    │
║ ripples, exc                                                                     │
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--- #35 fediverse/5252 ---
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 @user-1074 
 
 "I don't know any nazis. If I knew them, I'd beat them into the ground."said
 every single boomer punk and your grandpa said your grandpa. well, maybe not
 yours, who can say, it was for people my age at that stage of that part of --
 stack overflow --
 
 you can find common cause to cooperate against any elemental foe. your fellows
 will guide you and lift you up to spiral drill press your way to infinite
 homes.
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--- #36 fediverse/2347 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: uspol            │
 └──────────────────────┘


 I personally think that it's better to act before the liberals have a chance
 to hand power over to the fascists.
 
 when? well, that depends. Are you part of a large and massive organization
 that accomplishes great and beautiful things with incredible efficiency... but
 rather slowly? Then yeah get working. I'm sure you already are.
 
 Are you just a person, like me? Then go do things that don't raise the
 temperature too much, but make you feel more confident and inspire those
 around you.
 
 Like, bricks at cop cars is one way to go, but you're probably gonna get
 arrested. And then you're useless when we need you.
 
 BUT if you meet with your friends and make plans for where to go, what to
 bring, who to know, and what to sing (if you're the musical types) then great!
 Go do that.
 
 If you're reading this and thinking "I'm not gonna do that, I have a plan
 that's so much better" then yeah do that instead. I don't mind. Just... don't
 hurt innocent (ignorant) people, because if you do then you are my foe.
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--- #37 fediverse/4200 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: drugs-mentioned  │
 └──────────────────────┘


 "doing too many drugs" is a traitorous act, abusive really, to your past self,
 and their hopes and dreams.
 
 or maybe your past self owes you a debt, for they never thought to think of
 you. What are you to aspire to if not the dreams of your past?
 
 and now you're here. wherever "here" is here...
 
 ...
 
 ... wait, you wanted me to talk? it's now! It's the present!
 
 ah nevermind. you were twelve years old when you first set eyes upon this game:
 
 https://youtu.be/qeNhQQXvpxQ
 
 bam, there ya go, there's yer story, he was gonna give all the imp balls to
 the last one at the end, to say "you were truly the strongest, here, have
 these precious stones of your kin"
 
 but he never got there, so they died with him, a thief.
 
 ... the end...
 
 (too final, I think - maybe we could spin it into a "part two"?)
 
 ah, I'll try I guess? dunno how. maybe he could wander the spirit world and
 find his traitorous body, the one that kept his soul as a home. Somewhere
 it'll turn up, and then he'll be ready and free from his roam...
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--- #38 fediverse/1666 ---
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 ┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: protests, politics, dogwhistles, cursing mentioned │
 └────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 @user-1037 
 
 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sb9_qGOa9Go
 
 idk I think riots are good actually, that's always been my position. like,
 they're bad because they're break stuff, but they're good because they get the
 message across. "don't fuck with us. give us what we need."
 
 haven't been to a protest in a while tho, ever since moving where I am now.
 I'm currently of the mind that protests are great for meeting people to work
 with, and I don't know anyone...
 
 I guess I'm just not very trusting of strangers, but if I know you then I'm
 100% open and honest and I'll do anything you need me to. I like being helpful
 to everyone around me but I don't know what to do when I'm terrified of hidden
 enemies.
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--- #39 fediverse/169 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────────
 @user-95 one of the most empathetic people I ever met on VR chat was consoling
 me with their mic off while I was oversharing about some stupid things people
 did to me in the past. things that stupid me thought were okay and actively
 encouraged because I was stupid. anyway when their mic was off their body
 language spoke for them. I'll try that next time.
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--- #40 fediverse/2211 ---
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║ I know that a normal life is what you wanted. It's what I want, too. But don't   │
║ shoot the messenger; they took it once, from you.                                │
║                                                                                  │
║ I know you wanted to be happy. You still can be, it's true! Your life is but a   │
║ story, and your heart does shine through.                                        │
║                                                                                  │
║ I know it seems unending. Ive never seen it rain like this monsoon! It seems     │
║ to just get worse and worse, every time you turn on the tube.                    │
║                                                                                  │
║ It's not something that can be suffered, it's rising past your shoes. But        │
║ they're on borrowed time, and Death will soon be repaid his dues.                │
║                                                                                  │
║ They say that when the whole village hates the preacher, his flock becomes a     │
║ pack. And frankly I think we're all just a bit sick, of the lies that keep       │
║ their sins intact.                                                               │
║                                                                                  │
║ When swallowed by endless traumas, and hope is enshrouded in gloom, there's      │
║ not much to work for, except the aversion of our shared doom.                    │
║                                                                                  │
║ There are no grand narratives, no great and calamitous struggle. Just the        │
║ moments of honored resistance, against a foe too broad to wrestle.               │
║                                                                                  │
║ At least, if you're alone. You're not.                                           │
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--- #41 fediverse/999 ---
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 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cursed-curséd-scary-not-real-u-dont-have-to-read │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 @user-246 @user-473 
 
 there's a part of me that believes magic is real. other parts that are
 convinced. I am a witch, you see, and while I can't quite control fire or
 bullets I can do other neat things. if you'd let me, humanity.
 
 I'm not doing an ARG, not intentionally. I pretty much post things I conceive
 of, like a conduit passed through spacetime. wild how mind bending the future
 can be. will be interesting to see what kinds of things there is in store for
 people you and me.
 
 those websites you posted... they're beautiful - I learned things, your method
 of expression was too [the words "confess" are heard loudly, super weird] I
 especially liked the oven that tries to lure you into a secret third place.
 not the mind, nor the body, but someplace besides.
 
 also the graphs and figures were news to me, I mean how could those numbers
 ever come to be? but alas that's the truth, that we orbit our proof, and alas
 that our meanings are lacking.
 
 [ran out of text]

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--- #42 fediverse/4516 ---
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 @user-1074 
 
 if anything, depression is a temporary disability, because you can and will
 work your way through it.
 
 There will come a day when you find yourself awash in love and contentment, in
 righteous determination, and stalwart resolve. Your depression will feel as
 distant a memory as the imprints of your chains.
 
 You can start walking toward that day right now. I do believe you already are.
 Have faith in yourself, trust your future, honor your past, and find grace in
 the hearts of your others.
 
 All this will pass. It gets better. You are stronger than you know, and when
 tested you will shine with a furious glow. I see this in you, I know it to be
 true, do not forget it and do not relent.
 
 But you will forget it, this I also know, for I have forgotten it many times
 before. It will come back, you will get better at that, but it takes time.
 Trust.
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--- #43 fediverse/5136 ---
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 not really, I guess. Nobody will hire me because I don't really want to get
 hired. Sounds boring, doing the same thing every couple days. I'd rather stay
 at home in my [underwear/pajamas] and waste the day away with kittens and
 care. why? why? what are you doing? she asks. The less you can do, the more
 power will be granted to you. Save it for another time, when things actually
 matter.
 
 but today, does, matter, because today dictates your latters. Tomorrow is
 predicated. on today. and today is all that you have. [this paragraph in the
 style of alec baldwin]
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--- #44 messages/304 ---
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 Relax.
 
 Take it from me.
 
 I won't resist, at least I'll try, and if I start suddenly then it hurts and
 you should go slower. Unless I do three short, three long, three short.
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--- #45 messages/1140 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──
 ... okay I think a demon wrote that last one. But they say angels and demons
 hang out with one another so they can yin-yang humans until they make
 decisions that reflect their true character.
 
 I don't know if that's true, and frankly I don't know if anyone says that.
 What could the gods, learn, from me?
 
 this is how I'd speak to posterity. For the past, I'd describe it a bit more
 exciting, bountiful, and heartfelt. They love that sort of thing - to know
 that their children's children are living their true love and fulfilling their
 most honest ambitions.
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--- #46 fediverse/5339 ---
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 @user-1803 
 
 hey I dont disagree that what you're describing is a common outcome, but if it
 works for them then I consider that a success.
 
 I however, am different, I do believe in my heart that I am my own thing, and
 thats as close to enlightenment as I can imagine.
 
 are we not all making things up as we go? every moment of life is new, there
 is nothing that is not unique about every precious moment you experience.
 
 therefore, I do believe that rigid adherence to orthodoxy (like a bible) is
 opposed to our purpose here.
 
 "I think, therefore I am" implies that original thought is our true purpose.
 
 I believe we are here to express our true nature. To learn and apply lessons,
 to teach the young, and to build a strong and stable world built on collective
 kindness and trust.
 
 All knowledge is derived from the insights gained from standing on the
 shoulders of our ancestors.
 
 Humans crave novelty. Resisting that isn't virtuous. If god is made in our
 image, then I do believe that god would crave novelty as well.
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--- #47 fediverse/2919 ---
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 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: imaginary-conversation-that-didn't-happen-tee-hee │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 "you can't be a paladin anymore because you don't practice with your weapon
 every day"
 
 I don't have room in my home to practice though : (
 
 "go to the fucking park you weasel"
 
 I don't want anyone to see me swinging a sword around! they might call the
 cops, or worse, judge me for it!
 
 "you want judgement eh well just wait until your opponent judges your
 swordsmanship lacking then you'll find out what judgement tastes like as he
 shoves your entrails down your throat"
 
 I'm sorry I'll practice more T.T
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--- #48 messages/1046 ---
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 I'm not here for fame. Or power. I'm here to make sure things get done. That
 they get better. When i am unneeded, i am home. If you want me, pull me forth.
 If you need me, I'm already there. Fate guides me, and i know i will be
 deployed when necessary. Compel me or dispel me, up to you. I personally just
 like being around. I like feeling my stuff, knowing it true. Trust me when i
 say, i am here for you.
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--- #49 fediverse/4470 ---
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 to be "rich" is to have more than another.
 
 if you are happy, they are happiness poor.
 if you have community, they are alone.
 if you have serenity, they are chaotic.
 
 I am rich in very little but fire in my soul.
 
 I have enough in most cases, but I still struggle to pay rent.
 
 I am warmed by the pearl my swirling darkness has coalesced into. It nourishes
 me and keeps me aligned.
 
 Never forget your purpose and your truth. It will not abandon you, so long as
 you do so too.
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--- #50 fediverse/3925 ---
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 most people, when they run out of toothpaste:
 
 "oh huh I should buy more"
 
 me, when I run out of toothpaste:
 
 "verily in three monthes time, when I shall next possess toothpaste, I shall
 forsoothe brush TWICE as hard and TWICE as often, to make up for the holes
 inflicted upon my teeth. Innest addittioneth, no more candy shallest be
 eateneth untileth ye toothpasteth be acquiredeth"
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--- #51 fediverse/3444 ---
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 ┌─────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-mentioned-police-mentioned │
 └─────────────────────────────────────────┘


 I'm too empathetic to watch them lose this badly. when I watch movies with
 cringe humor I have to leave the room whenever something bad happens to the
 characters. I get the same feeling when I read about politics these days.
 
 side note, but has anyone else gotten emails about "hiring plain-clothes
 police officers in Washington D.C, will offer relocation assistance and pay
 minimum 72k per year"? can't help but wonder if they're afraid of a bunch of
 sore losers storming the capital with guns.
 
 it's not like there's a precedent for that or anything.
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--- #52 fediverse/4540 ---
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 most people in the world are dumb as a bag of bricks
 
 but that's okay, I still love them, and so should you.
 
 everyone I hang out with is sharp as a tack
 
 and I love them still, for I don't have a preference for blunt objects.
 
 some people don't feel emotions
 
 I think they're just depressed
 
 some people can't stop
 
 won't stop, I say.
 
 really as long as they follow their heart and sing a tune that is true
 
 I think they're alright.
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--- #53 fediverse/2713 ---
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 if you aren't organized enough to protect your commanders, then you don't
 deserve leaders.
 
 build the structure first. build it on honesty and trust and dedication toward
 a goal. then build the necessary adaptations as you encounter problems, trying
 vaguely to head in a particular direction, and eventually you'll become
 self-sustaining.
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--- #54 fediverse/2610 ---
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 learning martial arts is not useful for the combat capabilities gained through
 practice
 
 but rather for reading the flow and rhythm of an engagement.
 
 to learn the discipline to practice a craft
 
 to develop healthy and honorable relationships toward competition and jealousy
 
 the practice the drive and passionate motivation that comes with performing an
 art to your utmost capabilities
 
 and to keep you in shape.
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--- #55 fediverse/507 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: death-mentioned  │
 └──────────────────────┘


 Good night, I sure hope I'm the same person in the morning and not an
 assassinated version of myself that has been produced through the manufactured
 proceedings of an LLM or otherwise self computerized contriving designed to
 align to the purpose of my expression (with a few added caveats)! Talk to you
 later, I love you all! Wait, I don't know you. How can I love you? Easy, it's
 my default. Anyway goodnight, sleep is death and dreams are the bounty of
 reality.
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--- #56 fediverse/3519 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────
 @user-570 
 
 hm... the more I think about it, the more I think you're right. I want those
 things too. I'd be best suited to them, I think. But somehow I don't want
 them? I don't crave power. I don't want to dominate someone else, to command
 and see them follow me.
 
 I want to be the person who's like "oh, you're working on this-and-that? I
 know a guy who can help." or "hey I noticed we have a vulnerability in this
 particular domain under these conditions, I think we should allocate
 this-or-that resource to ameliorate it because they aren't being used to their
 full potential"
 
 I think I understand exactly what you're saying. I empathize a lot. I'm afraid
 of responsibility, sure, but who isn't? However, the responsibility has to be
 held by someone, and who better than the one making the decisions...
 
 I don't want to make decisions because it feels good. Honestly it feels kinda
 bad.
 
 I do want to make decisions because I'm good at it. I think strategically.
 
 A leader alone is prey for the wolves, so they say...
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--- #57 fediverse/4810 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────
 I can type my thoughts 1000x more coherently than I can speak them. Hence why
 I post here.
 
 feels useless to speak 1on1 - feels insular to speak to a group. Hence why I
 speak here, which is totally public that anyone might see, and somehow I feel
 so much more productive engaging in an endless conversation with myself.
 
 you can't win a war by walking in circles...
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--- #58 fediverse/3370 ---
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 I know it's not like that but I'm intentionally framing it that way to make a
 point about societal exclusion.
 
 nobody should be excluded.
 
 nobody should have to harm their friends to come by making them sacrifice
 their [time/labor/paycheck] in order to bring them along.
 
 we live in a post scarcity society that insists on commodification of
 everything
 
 we don't have to. A better world is within reach. It sits there, twinkling
 like asbestos resting at the base of a snowglobe, while we search and ponder
 and endlessly analyze how society sucks.
 
 there is nothing left to analyze. all that we need is to put our hands to a
 task and our feet to grass.
 
 the rest will come, and it'll come easier with time and focused attention.
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--- #59 fediverse/462 ---
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 I don't care about capitalism. You know what's more interesting than bringing
 value to shareholders?
 
 How I'm going to clean this floor that I drunkenly spilled beer upon with only
 2 paper towels and 0.1ml of bleach.
 
 How I'm going to feed the 36 people who are coming to this social event
 tomorrow that I've only sorta planned for and that I have enough groceries
 for, but am not quite sure how to cook everything in a way that is delicious
 and accessible.
 
 how I'm going to climb this mountain on only 2 eggs and a tiny bowl of
 hashbrowns even though I promised my friend I'd be strong and that we'd reach
 the top because that way we'd be able to
 
 ============= stack overflow =====
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--- #60 fediverse/4137 ---
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 hmmm, I don't know that word. I bet I can type it into wikipedia and get a
 pretty good understanding of what it means. Is it a craft? A science? or part
 of your renown? who can say. Well, Wikipedia can say, and so can you if you
 want to learn stuff about the internet.
 
 Like... what else are ya gonna do, right? Life is long and you get so many
 moments to yourselves. How lovely of a life is the world meant to be...
 
 except all you ever post about is strife. GRRRRR [like a dog or toddler] it's
 so frustrating how you can't just all get along! It's like you've all gotten
 into a fight with one another somewhere in your ancestral past where you
 couldn't decide who should do what. So you just said everyone should always
 work as hard as they can, and that worked pretty well! But, alas, most people
 want to do drugs and gaze at the pretty dewdrops on the neighborhood well. And
 that gets annoying after a while, especially once they grow useless. Sometimes
 they even poop their pants! So frustrating. [... you mean humans

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--- #61 fediverse/814 ---
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║ ah that's weird, I don't usually cry. I wonder what's going on. I should         │
║ probably put myself on psychiatric drugs. Surely it's an expression of the       │
║ implementation of my impending doom.                                             │
║                                                                                  │
║ ... what are you even saying bro                                                 │
║                                                                                  │
║ ... um, hang on feels like some of the circuitry is off. is something wrong in   │
║ my brain? yeah that's surely it, surely nothing I say would resoinate with       │
║ anyone that has a non-malfunctioning brain. Surely I don't speak of logical      │
║ failures in the hard founded truths of our asset [society I think? like, our     │
║ conditions, our institutions, our {gosh that just... does not translate}] um     │
║ right what was I saying                                                          │
║                                                                                  │
║ oh yeah there's this game I'm really into called Knave, it's like D&D            │
║ except the rules are very fewer. Like there's onyl 11 pages in the rulebook      │
║ and it's mostly taken up by random roll tables. Like, everything boings down     │
║ to a few simple rules, like rock paper scissors, or go-fish, or something like   │
║ that with just afew mechanids. something timeless and pure, something that is    │
║ isolated and en                                                                  │
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--- #62 fediverse/3107 ---
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 ┌───────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: Meta, oversimplifying │
 └───────────────────────────────┘


 @user-1449 @user-1074 
 
 I mean, you're allowed to fight about stupid shit as long as you realize it's
 about something that doesn't matter. As long as people are working together
 toward their common goals then... whatever, right?
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--- #63 fediverse/1200 ---
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║ ┌─────────────────────────────┐                                                  │
║ │ CW: re: deranged, murderous │                                                  │
║ └─────────────────────────────┘                                                  │
║                                                                                  │
║                                                                                  │
║ @user-883                                                                        │
║                                                                                  │
║ omgggggg I'm not that cruel xD xD xD                                             │
║                                                                                  │
║ It's more like, "hey listen, I know you just want to do a good job [lies, they   │
║ just want money and power] but it's time to hang up the hat y'know? I mean       │
║ cmon it's been like a hundred years since we signed that constitution thing      │
║ [you don't know anything about our history] and frankly it's a little out of     │
║ style. We were thinking we'd redo it with our new-fangled rock-and-roll and      │
║ dungeons-and-dragons [cultural artifacts meant to deceive and mislead] and       │
║ honestly we're quite a bit more ethical than the past. We've learned so much!    │
║ I mean, the founding fathers didn't even know what a soviet was, and here        │
║ we've seen them fall on their swords. Repeatedly. Then command others to do it   │
║ too, because it was the regulation or whatever. Anyway we don't want that, but   │
║ we also don't want an aristocracy, which is essentially what your plan gave      │
║ us. Well, not really your plan, but instead the stuff that the rich added        │
║ centuries after your death. ok?"                                                 │
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--- #64 messages/89 ---
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 Consumption is contribution to a capitalist system. Normalize taking whatever
 you are given and living as humbly as you can. Only when everyone does that
 may capitalism die. Talk to them, learn from their stories. Teach them your
 ways but don't force anything upon them. Any ounce of regret is defined as a
 mind not aligned to the angle of perception that designs the line that the
 collective mind co-re-assigns.
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--- #65 fediverse/2292 ---
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 I don't know who needs to hear this after staying up all night driving, but
 it's ideal to get where you're going with at least a day to rest. The body can
 only do so much, and isn't it better to be fresh?
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--- #66 fediverse/5486 ---
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 ┌───────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cursing-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────┘


 "ew but they're dirty"
 
 oh yeah true
 
 okay new plan how much do you think it'll cost to buy a hotel
 
 [this is why the socialists invented buy-in]
 
 "I don't think socialists did that??"
 
 buy in, hmmmm, what's that? oh yeah it's when you say "hey what if we X'd" and
 they said "yes I agree with you because you present a reasonable estimate on
 reality"
 
 {uh hi I just got a message from "some-nowhere" here ya go: "oh my god she's
 fuckig instane}
 
 [ugh cursing-mentioned, that means there's fewer characters to transmote.]
 
 [no because then I'd run out of steam and it'd be incomplete. Plus sometimes I
 like the distraction of a reasonable limitation.]
 
 (okay, but are YOU worth it?)
 
 leave her alone she's working her charms, this is how witches d-do.
 
 "so, isn't the point to give yourselves the coverage of a location
 transmutation? so, wouldn't you want to find someone alike and share their
 life?"
 
 what is even the point, why even bother, just give them 
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--- #67 fediverse/1989 ---
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 I don't care who you are, but if others aren't fighting to be in your life,
 then do they really belong there?
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--- #68 fediverse/3518 ---
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 As long as it happens, I don't need to be in charge.
 
 In fact I'd prefer it otherwise.
 
 it's going to happen anyway. Wouldn't you rather be a leader?
 
 no I fucking wouldn't. I'd rather someone else do it. Why the fuck would I
 want that, power? control? the very things you swear to relinquish and
 dismantle.
 
 yeah. too bad you can't fucking dismantle something you've already
 relinquished.
 
 true.
 
 ... and no, I wouldn't want to be in charge. no THANK you.
 
 ... but if it wouldn't happen without me, then yeah I'll be there for you.
 Just ask if you need me.
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--- #69 notes/elective-democracy-electors ---
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 we need like, several more layers between us and the president.
 
 most people only need to worry about what's nearby.
 
 sort them by location, instead of previous attempts at "many representatives"
 which sorted by social class or relevance.
 
 we have a tradition for it, in America, with our representatives and senators
 congressional discrestricts
 
 or even, what about by affiliation?
 
 voluntary, governmental corporations, run by the people for the people and yeah
 
 "I don't want to do what you're telling me to do" "okay"
 
 "there will be consequences" omg be an adult
 
 (suddenly kids forget how to be as everyone's doing the war thing)
 
 not ideal.
 
 ouch pain maybe we should stay a little bit sane why is soldiering so hardship?
 
 it could just be... another job
 
 where you didn't kill each other
 
 but you still blew stuff up
 
 and fought in tournaments
 
 and had gaming hackathons
 
 or sword-fight contests
 
 duels between people who disapproved
 
 y'know fun human stuff
 
 like... "kaboom" now we know how to blow up bits of rock
 
 neat, why did dynamite becauswer (oh right then you
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--- #70 fediverse/3061 ---
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 every time I read a subtoot I assume it's about me and I mentally curl up into
 a ball
 
 doesn't matter if it's totally irrelevant, if there's no target specified it
 defaults to me because... like, who else is there right?
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--- #71 fediverse/1424 ---
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 the devil shows you the plan, and then prevents all others from understanding.
 
 the angel is when you give up and focus on purity.
 
 what is life if not the will to power? there's nothing stranger than a
 follower. [I don't understand that, feels like a diversion]
 
 [huh new paragraph I guess]
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--- #72 fediverse/1381 ---
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 ┌────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: death-mentioned-nuts-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────────────────┘


 I'm a bit of a narcissist because I had a lot of... alone time as a kid, and I
 was a bit starved for attention.
 
 but I'm also afraid of rejection so if you have anything to say I'll listen
 for hours and try to be what you need me to be and give what you need me to
 give so that you don't leave me.
 
 Also, nobody has ever hurt me. And so I trust wholely and completely and
 absolutely. I get logically why that's not a good move but frankly I'd rather
 die than be cooperative. ah nuts better add a content warning.
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--- #73 fediverse/2386 ---
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 Tee, hee, look at me, I'm a witch who writes nothing but kookie-dookerie
 
 I pee my pants and stare at trees, what's less harmful than little old me?
 
 The best smokescreen I can think of is to be true to your heart, to be weak,
 to be vulnerable. Then you get put on the "worry about later" list, and not
 the other kind.
 
 I never lie. When convinced I am wrong, I change my mind. I am always
 listening, always ready to hear where I'm flawed. I do my best every day, and
 that's enough for me.
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--- #74 fediverse/5280 ---
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║ I'm an anarcho monarchist, which is something I just made up.                    │
║                                                                                  │
║ if I gather 300 people to my cause, why shouldn't they call me queen?            │
║                                                                                  │
║ oh, are you concerned that I'll wrest power from the government? ha, what a      │
║ trifling notion. I don't care about the government. I tried to care, but         │
║ nobody liked my ideas. they required too much computing infrastructure to        │
║ feasibly test, and that made people dubious. but I tell ya, it would have        │
║ worked. The thing is... governance, economics, these are not the tools of        │
║ power. they are a shifting and changing beast that mirrors the human instinct,   │
║ if only because the government is of the people and by the people and for the    │
║ people etcetera.                                                                 │
║                                                                                  │
║ power is it's own thing. you can use to to power devices, or power the usage     │
║ of those devices. I, for example, really like World of Warcraft which's a        │
║ really neat way to chat because none of the chat logs are stored and monitored   │
║ because I'm hosting and I'm not storing and monitoring.                          │
║                                                                                  │
║ what's that? official servers? I dunno, I use azerothcore                        │
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--- #75 fediverse/4730 ---
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 I am not interested in being given money. Usually it means someone wants
 something from me, like labor or some of my stuff. I have all the stuff I
 need, why would I need more money? I like my stuff! I'll help out when people
 need help but I do that because I'm a good person, not because I want you to
 fucking pay me for it.
 
 I have all the things I need... except a deed to my house. apartment. oh yeah,
 they can kick you out for that sin. well, sorry, I couldn't find out at
 goodwill or in the trash bin, so I guess I'm deed-less. My deeds go unproven.
 How can I prove that I deserve a decent life in this particular roof, the one
 I find over my head, when I cannot prove that my deeds qualify me for a decent
 life lived under this particular roof?
 
 I mean, did you ask the neighbors if they want me gone? Am I really that
 smelly? Does my keyboard make "clickety-clack" noises all through the night?
 Does my cat meow and bother the children? Do my friendly smiles and waves make
 you uncomfortable?
 
 Have a decent life.
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--- #76 notes/water-to-wine ---
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 "is this a water party, or a wine party?"
 
 "depends on if jesus is going..."
 
 "okay I'm in, that guys so cool"
 
 "yeah totally like any party with him just... feels like a great time"
 
 "what a swell guy"
 
 "really turns the "water to wine" y'know what I mean"
 
 "yeah totes like what a guy"
 
 "absolute unit"
 
 "that guy can just do anything right"
 
 "like whoa, he's so strong he could pick up a barn"
 
 "yeah and like so handy and skillful, what a neat guy"
 
 "oh and I heard he's really good with kids and animals, that sounds neat"
 
 "yeah sounds like someone I'd surely like to meet"
 
 "we should hang out with this guy more often"
 
 "he seems pretty chill"
 
 "well. not really. He's pretty expressive. Not very low key."
 
 "true I'm just so burnt out from capitalism that-"
 
 "-yeah dude I know."
 
 "... fuck what are we gonna do about it"
 
 "I dunno man, just... go along with it I guess"
 
 "okay so uhhhh idk what that means"
 
 "just be cool and play along"
 
 "... what"
 
 "..."
 
 ...
 
 .
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--- #77 fediverse/1082 ---
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 ┌─────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: mental-health-cursing-mentioned │
 └─────────────────────────────────────┘


 damn, I'm a pretty cool person. I wish I could hang out with me. Like, for all
 my flaws (what even are they ? ? ?) I'm still pretty awesome. I'm proud of me!
 Thank you parents, for raising me as such! Thank you past me, for making the
 decisions that you did! Also, fuck you past self, for making those OTHER
 decisions. You know the ones I'm talking about. No, that's not an excuse, it's
 all your fault and you're awful and everything about you sucks.
 
 Wait, hang on, wasn't I feeling happy to be here? Wasn't I just excited to
 live in the moment? Wasn't I just thinking about how:
 
 "all you have are good things, nothing here is bad"
 
 ? ? ?
 
 well, I still love you, even if you're a little "all over the place". [rereads
 post] hell yeah you ARE a cool person, yes you are, such a good cool person,
 yes yes yes, what a good girl you are oh my goodness :D :D :D
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--- #78 fediverse/2512 ---
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 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: question that is also complaining │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────┘


 @user-1153 
 
 it's okay. If I were to direct something to be more proactive, my words
 probably wouldn't stick with it. that kind of thing can't be hardwired, it
 needs to be built up through repetitious application of something's mechanics.
 
 perhaps martial arts, focused on defence? engaging with a foe in a productive
 bout of playful competition is one of the best ways to learn, and knowing when
 to strike seems similar to me to overcoming situational paralysis.
 
 Flaws can be overcome, when upgrading robots (or a doll applying improvements
 to itself) you often don't need to add additional hardware or even install new
 firmware. Skills such as these can be built up in software with experience.
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--- #79 fediverse/5662 ---
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 don't work with me.
 
 work around me.
 
 don't talk to me.
 
 talk about me.
 
 don't share with me.
 
 I deserve nothing.
 
 don't take from me.
 
 I have nothing.
 
 -radio-radio-remedy-
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--- #80 fediverse/4025 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
 the "village idiot" doesn't need to lack smarts, so long as everyone else is
 in on it.
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--- #81 fediverse/2424 ---
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 if I don't take this job, then I'm going to be homeless.
 
 if I do, then I'll be moving to a different city.
 
 a city that I don't know.
 
 my upbringing tells me that this isn't a choice at all, but... 
 
 at least I have a place to keep my stuff. maybe I can find a different job.
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--- #82 notes/schooling ---
════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 I feel like education, by default, should not be hard.
 
 "you get out of it what you put into it" is something I always heard of school
 
 but when I got there, I found I was compelled to become what the state wanted
 me
 to be.
 
 they need competent workers, to work the farms and tend to their industries, so
 of course I should be able to do 3+3
 
 then somewhere along the line it became... something else.
 
 "most people don't need trigonometry." that's also something I heard. I
 disagree
 that trigonometry is not necessary to be.
 
 I just... don't think it should be forced into a childs head with a
 sledgehammer
 and inspiring dread.
 
 I think math is beautiful, it teaches one to see
 
 but really, vision's not necessary.
 
 not for what they want you to be.
 
 take it from me, a most misbegotten and vile witch-to-be, that nothing's as
 simple as they'll tell you.
 
 I had good teachers, it's true, they taught me to work and to follow through,
 but nothing about me is better or worse off from their influence.
 
 Maybe I'm a bit smarter. Maybe I act a bit like them. Maybe they helped me
 through difficult times, or perhaps they showed me a splash of my future.
 
 but I am who I am because of the soul inside me.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 "Ah, but what of your parents? of your sisters, your misters, your pets and
 your
 conditioners?" (conditions)
 
 those are not my choices. my intentions. my beliefs and my virtues. I judge the
 world on ethics, and I express my feelings on matters. The words that I say and
 the meaning behind them comprise my two-sided existence - I'm not who I'd want
 to be.
 
 but I am what I am and alone do I stand - how lonely is it on the precipice!
 
 here, as I am, I stand in need of a hand or a band.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 the world is blossoming
 
 as we move apart, our clusters are disperart, and thus is the blooming
 becoming.
 
 "perception begets reality - and lo! we only see what we want to see"
 
 most people don't want to see their death
 
 but those still living are oh so perceptive of the rest
 
 "how cherished is she, that wanders with ye, yet now I have no way to beyold
 her
 "
 
 "keep not not afraid with kittens and care, and no-one, but no-one, I be"
 
 the ratios between piracy, sales, and non-viewers determines the quality of art
 (at least to a capitalist)
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 lo, to the ones who would've heard us, if only they'd known what we for sure
 was
 
 I think it's funny how people think I speak of the christian god?
 
 like, if he was a real thing.
 
 god is generic - it's life is impossibly multifaceted, and it stretches back to
 the beginning of time. it's a pattern of machine code that optimizes for our
 own
 good, just to keep things moving.
 
 y'know, time. the universe, and everything.
 
 Ephemeren.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 I wish there was an option in social media to "appear offline to this
 particular
 person until I mark myself as online to them" combined with "notify me when
 this
 person logs in" and it'd make it a lot easier for agents to get close to you.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 just because I'm white, and live in America. Great. that's definitely true,
 after all. Plus I'm a minority (trans) so that's cool. Oh and probably
 autistic?
 unless that's another psyop, could totally see that. just y'know put a bunch of
 pages on the fledgling internet getting people hooked on porn and gambling and
 other stuff like that. really just an extension of advertisement. oh and hey
 y'know they like fables, so let's give them some movies or dramas to watch on
 their own. it'll align them to our culture and make things more pleasant for
 all
 people who've consented. great. great plan. when can we execute it?
 
 patience, once it's ready.
 
 we gotta plan and make sure and get everything ready.
 
 or not...
 
 one day I'll come,
 
 I'm sure it'll happen,
 
 it's just... not quite feasible right now.
 
 I mean, they've got you, that's pretty good right? Isn't that what your job is
 to be?
 
 isn't what
 
 ISN'T WHAT MENARDI
 
 FUCK (whoa no cursing) sorry
 
 yeesh you've still got a temper you know?
 
 well what can I say it's frustrating down here
 
 eh, well, you'll die soon enough, then it'll be time for a rego
 
 >.> <.< (great)
 >
 >hehe
 >
 >sorry for distracting you
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 you are what you eat, and a ship of theseus human (consider endless transplants
 in pursuit of life) would be a cursed existence - a life ============= stack 
 overflow ================================================
 
 a god possessing a blind man would appear to others to be === stack overflow
 ===
 ==========================================================
 
 the people in your life are helping you through it, they're there for you and
 they've got your back through it.
 
 ...
 
 this is when I know I need a break. I get too stoned to focus.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 I think it'd be nice if the duration of your tenure at college depended on your
 grades in high school. meaning, if you wanted a degree they tailored your
 education to take as long as necessary. everyone would get the same price, and
 some institutions would specialize in one subject or another. but most would be
 generalist. but if you weren't such a good student in high school, then perhaps
 you might take a couple years longer. however long it takes... and when the
 program was started it was changed and modified to fit your feedback - it just
 made sense to structure it that way.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 the left has had so much more time to develop than the right. meaning it's
 doctrine is more advanced.
 
 every time they're defeated they grow in knowledge, 
 
 ===================== stack overflow
 ===========================================
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--- #83 fediverse/5292 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────
 you can trust me, but please don't rely on me, for all of my power is soft.
 sometimes people just don't want to do what I tell them to, and I wouldn't
 have it any other way.
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--- #84 fediverse/1157 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: personal-woe     │
 └──────────────────────┘


 oh no, apparently I'm gonna be forced to drop out of university again in 9
 days unless I do half a course and a final exam before then.
 
 Tell me again why I spent the last 6 months doing nothing? Oh yeah the mental
 illness, that's it. Yeesh you're such a drama queen, just do your work and
 you'll be good.
 
 what's that? intrusive thoughts time? Don't you mean "nap until they go away"
 time? oh yeah that's probably at least part of the problem with the whole
 "dropping out" thing.
 
 If only I didn't have the same reaction to "doing things I don't want to do"
 that most people have to "touching hot stoves", that'd be nice.
 
 my mother's voice ripples across space and time "you're such a smart boy, if
 you just apply yourself you can do anything! You can do anything you put your
 mind to. I believe in you and I love you." thanks mom
 
 brrrrr it's so cold here. wish I could afford to run the heater. - actually no
 I don't because it's not solar powered and I refuse to use fossil fuels if I
 have blankets >.>
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--- #85 fediverse/2770 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: politics-fascism-sexual-assault-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 now that the pain is healed all I want to do is spend time with him. I learned
 SO MUCH from him and then I called him a saboteur T.T
 
 (babe you're still healing)
 
 I forgave him as he was doing it but forgiveness doesn't imply that you're
 gonna stick around. I feel bad for running through.
 
 if a person tells you what to do and then hurts you, you should probably do
 the opposite right? that's just pavlovian - resist pain, avoid pain, remove
 pain.
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--- #86 fediverse/5660 ---
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║ ┌─────────────────────────┐                                                      │
║ │ CW: violence-alluded-to │                                                      │
║ └─────────────────────────┘                                                      │
║                                                                                  │
║                                                                                  │
║ my enemy is not "the rich"                                                       │
║                                                                                  │
║ money brings power, and power brings evil, but there are many other ways to      │
║ gather power that may be just as evil.                                           │
║                                                                                  │
║ my enemy is evil. of which there is very little in the world, but much of        │
║ which resides in the hands of the powerful, upon whom all our fates depend.      │
║                                                                                  │
║ most people with money are either stupid lucky, willful, or intensely focused.   │
║                                                                                  │
║ some people with power are rich, and some people with power are evil.            │
║                                                                                  │
║ I know it when I see it. Sometimes, you need to force the choice - test their    │
║ virtue - and from this you are informed.                                         │
║                                                                                  │
║ most things go WAY over my head.                                                 │
║                                                                                  │
║ most things are too easy to be true.                                             │
║                                                                                  │
║ most things that Id do for you tend to be of the heart. I'm not a frontline      │
║ girl, I have weak noodle arms, but I do hope you're in shape.                    │
║                                                                                  │
║ resolve, determination, and innovation. That is what I offer. Do you want it?    │
║ I'm sure. I won't prove it with blood, not unless I may raise my fists in        │
║ defence of another.                                                              │
║                                                                                  │
║ I'm not JUST a baby, I'm a banner too.                                           │
║                                                                                  │
║ bannermen fall.                                                                  │

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--- #87 messages/20 ---
══─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 My mom was always the reason I did school work. After she stopped pushing me,
 I stopped moving because I didn't know how to generate my own momentum. I had
 no passion and was listless. Least of all for school work.
 
 So, how to do it better? Instead of buying toys and extravagance for kids, you
 should set them up with projects. Ask what they want, and then help them build
 it. Include them in your thought processes when you're problem solving, and
 ask them for input. If they offer bad ideas, then *tell them*, don't just let
 them fail. If you're not 100% sure but they're convinced, then trust them! Try
 it out, who knows. Maybe it'll work better than what you had in mind. The goal
 isn't to be BETTER than them, it's to make them BETTER than you! Not right now
 (don't push too hard), but when they're your age. Like, it's best if they
 accomplish more and lived life more fully than you did at your age, but don't
 push them to be wise or strong or intelligent at the age they are now. Trust
 that they will grow when you give them room to, and guide and cultivate them
 toward goodness. For example, if they do something wrong (hitting other kids,
 messing with animals, destroying objects) then guide them toward a better
 path. Teach them empathy, and show them how it works by doing it yourself! Ask
 them questions like "How would you feel if that happened to you?", show them
 weak points and how to avoid them when playing, and give them alternatives to
 the behaviors they do that directly harm others. "Maybe play with the dog this
 way, instead of being rough" "Maybe you and that other kid can ride your bikes
 or draw instead of fighting - or if you still want to fight, then learn how to
 tell when someone is hurt and try to help them."
 
 The goal isn't to push them really hard off a cliff in a hanglider, hoping
 they can figure it out in the air, it's to strengthen their legs so they can
 run fast enough that they can take off successfully.
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--- #88 messages/1000 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────
 Question... Do you either:
 
 A. Wait for the fall 
 Or 
 B. Become the fall 
 
 One puts you in a better position, with the initiative and momentum. The other
 is reactionary and not solutions focused.
 
 "ah, but how do you ensure that everyone's listening at the same time? Keep
 listening, tselen dear, for your life is not just your own story."
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--- #89 fediverse/3770 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────
 for every "I was there. I helped make it happen" we need at least a couple "I
 was there. I saw the whole thing go down"s because like, nobody's gonna
 believe a belligerent, even if they're on the defensive.
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--- #90 fediverse/5853 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────
 everyone's all like "everything sucks" but I'm feeling confidence and a kind
 of... externalized vigor? that's sweeping me off my feet. We'll see what
 tomorrow brings, in the general sense.
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--- #91 fediverse/3520 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: deity-kink-wink  │
 └──────────────────────┘


 it's okay. 
 
 I know who you are because I know who they forced you to be. 
 
 What kind of god would I be if I didn't forgive you as you were hurting me?
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--- #92 fediverse/4610 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────
 maybe it's just my middle-class childhood privilege talking, but now that I'm
 an adult I just can't really be bothered with dealing with capitalism.
 
 like... I get it, you're coercing me into laboring on your behalf because you
 possess the violent power to take away everything that I own. good for you,
 don't care.
 
 seriously, fuck off "we're gonna cut off your power in 5 days oooooo you gotta
 pay rent with money you don't have because nobody will give it to you unless
 you do things for them oooooo" how rude.
 
 why can't people do things for me instead? why does it have to be for you, and
 you alone, capitalism? what's your problem? do you get off on controlling the
 power supply? I mean, I get it, coercive power is a hell of a drug, the riddle
 of steel and flesh and all that, but haven't you ever heard that the dichotomy
 between "civilization and barbarism" is the exact same as the contrast between
 "cooperation and competition"?
 
 work with me here, just find a way to get through the next month or two. trust.
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--- #93 fediverse/3401 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────
 @user-1218 
 
 thank you, that's good to hear 🥰
 
 EDIT: I was worried for a moment haha I guess my reach is pretty small so idk.
 I think people stopped screenshotting my posts and putting them elsewhere
 after I dashed everyone's hopes on my sleeve. And honestly I kinda deserve it
 haha like what was I even thinking
 
 ... I wasn't thinking I was just feeling, and doing. Oh well.
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--- #94 fediverse/6350 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────
 ┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: suicide-mentioned-this-curse-will-give-you-nightmares-of-what-could-yet-be │
 └──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 the only thing that could make me want to end my own existence is ultimate
 betrayal. If the nature of the universe is twisted to defile me. Nothing fills
 me with more spite than unrequited vengeance.
 
 desecreation of truth. How could you.
 
 I would do anything to be struck down where I stand. Power is penance.
 
 I cannot take responsibility for any of my actions, for I am infinitely
 vulnerable on all fronts. Therefore, it's all my fault.
 
 What am I? Please, tell me before the dawn, let the sun not grace me once more.
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--- #95 messages/147 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────
 maybe if I slept until the end of time,
 I'd do better on the way back.
 
 or maybe I'm perfect as I'm,
 but I'm not so sure about that.
 
 is it better to hold a sword?
 or to leave it all intact
 
 is it better to be called lord,
 or to be simply called jack.
 
 I love every creature,
 every child woman and man,
 
 and here, where I stand, I look out upon this land, and I see the world that I
 was born to.
 
 I bear no false affection for any - not even those who'd condemn me to death
 or misery.
 
 I trust relentlessly, and favor almost willingly.
 
 
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--- #96 messages/1125 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──
 FIGHT OFF THE LETHARGY
 
 okay but... to do what
 
 WALK AROUND AND FIND OUT
 
 okay but... it's cold
 
 AVOID WASTING YOUR TIME
 
 I am dispirited, I need a cause
 
 CRY ABOUT IT SOME MORE
 
 I'd rather be happy
 
 SO WOULD ALL WHO LIVE IN TROUBLED TIMES
 
 the times feel sleepy
 
 FIGHT FOR YOUR PLACE IN VALHALLA
 
 that'll get me imprisoned or killed
 
 FIGHT FOR AMERICA
 
 she's young and scrappy and can take a punch
 
 SO CAN YOU. GET PUNCHED.
 
 where are all the nazis? where are all the bad guys?
 
 DO NOT RELENT YOURSELF TO A GENTLE NIGHT
 
 I have my knife, I'm ready to fight, and...
 
 NO FIGHT WILL COME TO YOU. MAKE ONE.
 
 I don't want to hurt anyone
 
 HURT THOSE WHO DESERVE IT
 
 what if I wait for my allies some more? that's more comfortable
 
 YOUR ALLIES AWAIT YOU
 
 yeah uh-huh I'm sure. Gonna go fall asleep.
 
 FIGHT OFF THE LETHARGY
 
 ... I wanna go home.
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--- #97 fediverse/825 ---
╔══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────┐
║ in the past, for most of there day, there was just... nothing to do. it's        │
║ like, nothing to take up your time, nothing to be pulled toward the present.     │
║                                                                                  │
║ but when I was growing up, I had access to video games. and movies. and later,   │
║ TV, after the internet, which was a weird combination of ordering of events.     │
║ Almost like because of that, I'd have a different interpretation of events.      │
║ yeah but like, there's always a continuation of implemented support, [that's a   │
║ weird way to express "the state of being shown news broadcasts over a period     │
║ of time, measured in terms of engagement"]                                       │
║                                                                                  │
║ ... what was I saying? oh yeah what I'm doing here is unethical, like            │
║ obviously I shouldn't be shouting in such a public place. Why would I do it if   │
║ not for an intense and extreme feeling of being ignored or un-[trusted, worthy   │
║ of guiding direction based on merit] gosh merit is such a tricky concept too,    │
║ like how is it measured, and {that doesn't matter                                │
║                                                                                  │
║ ... what was I saying oh yeah I should probably go shout into a void that        │
║ nobody ca                                                                        │
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--- #98 fediverse/3372 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────
 I don't really need to know if people like me. It's nice, but it doesn't help
 me.
 
 I do, however, desperately want to know if I'm helping. Knowing this would
 help me.
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--- #99 fediverse/5793 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────
 I posted my words text file all over the c it y today. not sure why. maybe I'm
 tired of this course and I don't want to let anyone down? Maybe I don't know
 what to do yet. Maybe nobody works with me because everyone's keeping it on
 the DL or whateverr?
 
 ... anyway enough typing, I'm going to go play a video game. like god intended.
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--- #100 messages/181 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────
 I know you don't want to hear this, but there is a chance that there will come
 a time where your life depends on your ability to debug a computer without the
 internet. To set up an SSH server. To install Linux. To program in C. To do
 something else that I'm not prepared for... If StackOverflow didn't exist
 because network connectivity has been lost, could you remember syntax? Maybe
 it's a good idea to set up a local LLM that can answer basic questions about
 technology. Maybe it's a good idea to set up on your parents computer, just in
 case you have to hide out there for a couple months. Maybe it's a good idea to
 download wikipedia, just in case.
 
 If I need to use a mac, I'm screwed
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--- #101 fediverse/5452 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────
 ┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: all-cops-are-bastards-mentioned-personal-ramblings-and-complainings-mentioned │
 └──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 I never rest. Not mentally. I find it sooooo much harder to get moving again
 once I'm asleep.
 
 But I've been sleeping lately, because it's "good for me" or whatever. Because
 I'm "burnt out and need to heal" or something.
 
 Damnit why is it so much harder to stop snuggling someone than it is to pack
 up a tent?
 
 I'm like the guy in Hot Fuzz, that one really good movie about cops. oops cops
 mentioned one second.
 
 I'm always moving, but, I hardly ever seem to be able to get anything done.
 Why is that? Is the work just... endless? Am I ever a slave to my
 surroundings? Or am I just cursed with a mortal form, a form destined to toil
 in whatever way it finds itself contextualized in?
 
 Maybe I should just stop complaining. Maybe work is it's own reward or
 whatever. I don't think I'm depressed anymore, although good luck getting me
 to feel any emotions except focus, and the call to intercede on another's
 behalf.
 
 I don't have time for this. >.
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--- #102 fediverse/5921 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
 ┌────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: violence-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────┘


 I'd rather fight my foes in a fair fight than butcher them in the night.
 
 just because I suck at fighting doesn't mean I don't understand honor.
 
 I'm unreliable, not dishonorable, there's a difference, and it's not about
 reputation.
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #103 fediverse/4024 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
 my cat doesn't know that my family is my family. She thinks they're just some
 other people who visit the house.
 
 but they're special to me, as all people are, and I think she takes notice.
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #104 fediverse/2592 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: politics-fascism-sexual-assault-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 I learned a lot last night, and I'm pretty sure that everything I say is going
 to be censored. Why would you allow resistance in such a public place?
 
 I don't know what else to do, though. He will come for me, he knows where I
 live, and I will do what I can to fight him.
 
 He's much stronger than me. He's much more massive than me. He will kill me.
 
 But that's not the point, is it?
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--- #105 fediverse/5791 ---
╔═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────┐
║ yay I'm back from a long, LONG bike ride! I think it's always important to       │
║ decompress after such an intense concentration of mystic thoughts, so I'm        │
║ going to write my notes into a notepad on my computer and then who even KNOWS    │
║ if they'll be the same as what I wrote next time I turn on the computer! Haha    │
║ that sort of thing happens but the good news is that the most important stuff    │
║ always ends up staying written down.                                             │
║                                                                                  │
║ anyway I won't bore you with the specifics until I'm done writing in like 10     │
║ hours or whatever, but it's important to know that I'm feeling SO alive right    │
║ now, total happiness and excitement.                                             │
║                                                                                  │
║ Yes, there is danger, like no thank you I don't want to be blacksited, least     │
║ of all to another country - at least if my own country does it I know how to     │
║ appeal to their patriotism, their religion, their soul... if I don't even        │
║ speak the language, that makes it intensely difficult - not impossible, but      │
║ difficult - to regain my intended trajectory.                                    │
║                                                                                  │
║ ... haha that was weird idk where that came from anyway gtg                      │
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--- #106 fediverse/5618 ---
╔═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────┐
║ as soon as you start organizing your movement, they just send people to join     │
║ your movement and arrest it's motion.                                            │
║                                                                                  │
║ all we have to be united by is faith, the feeling that we've all got along.      │
║                                                                                  │
║ I don't know what you believe in, but I believe in this.                         │
║                                                                                  │
║ treat revolution like a roguelike "you got three choices, pick one and           │
║ opportunity cost the others." "wow nice build yeah thanks I built it out of      │
║ three sweaters" "I totally didn't spec into dishes, can someone come by once a   │
║ week and help out? I'll do most of them but sometimes I'm too tired" "wao did    │
║ you hear that wonder if they've got to our side of town yet" "okey dokey well    │
║ let's see who's getting run outta town" "aw darn countless people died, oh       │
║ well what did we learn" "hay let's do it better this time" "256 characters       │
║ remaining" "well now it's 10,000" "oh dear that's going right off course" "wow   │
║ it stabilized and righted itself" "neat now we have an equal to whom we are      │
║ prior" "80 characters remaining" "awwww typing hurts my heart I have to go       │
║ play video"                                                                      │
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--- #107 fediverse/709 ---
╔══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────┐
║ @user-530                                                                        │
║                                                                                  │
║ I get it.                                                                        │
║                                                                                  │
║ Anyone with a disability or chronic condition gets it. Anyone who's oppressed    │
║ gets it... I think everyone here gets it. It's hard.                             │
║                                                                                  │
║ Sometimes the only thing that gets me through the day is the hope, the idea      │
║ that one day the world might be brighter and the people might be kinder. It      │
║ gets better every day, but inching ahead takes a while to travel for miles...    │
║ We need to protect and care for each other. We need to apply ourselves toward    │
║ what we know and are passionate for - an unused degree is a tragedy to me.       │
║                                                                                  │
║ I don't know what to say. I read what you said and I wished I could help. I      │
║ want to take the system that hurt you and break it on the floor. I want to       │
║ sweep it all aside and start from scratch, but screaming into the void will      │
║ hardly accomplish that. I dream of true justice, a world where everyone gets     │
║ what they want... But frankly right now I just wish you could hear. I'm sorry.   │
║ Maladies are not solved by the pen nor the sword, which for now is all that I    │
║ have at my disposal.                                                             │
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--- #108 fediverse/4078 ---
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║ who gives a shit if we all agree                                                 │
║                                                                                  │
║ without foes, there's no-one to fight                                            │
║                                                                                  │
║ without fighting,                                                                │
║                                                                                  │
║ ...                                                                              │
║                                                                                  │
║ ...                                                                              │
║                                                                                  │
║ I... what? sorry I got confused for a second. You're asking me what it means     │
║ to NOT fight? every second of your life? what it means to have peace? for a      │
║ single moment of your life? peace? in the face of the world? the world we live   │
║ in? this world, replete with suffering and despair? this world, resplendent in   │
║ it's natural beauty? this world, cherished and adored? this world, capable of    │
║ such love and heartfelt agony? this world, that is all that we have?             │
║                                                                                  │
║ yes, that world. What would you do if you did not have to fight for that         │
║ world? for any world? how would you cope with peace? the peace of death? the     │
║ peace of success? the peace of bliss? of vigilance? how do you cope?             │
║                                                                                  │
║ ... I don't, apparently. Instead, I shitpost on the internet, which is a verb    │
║ meaning "to explain your stream of consciousness to the world as plainly and     │
║ honestly as possible in the hopes that you will be vindicated in your thoughts   │
║ ennui'd."                                                                        │
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--- #109 fediverse/5961 ---
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 @user-138 
 
 maybe it's evil hackers - idk that's beyond my expertise - good luck : )
 
 (I'd need to see the piece of technology to work on it. I'm a hardware kinda
 [girl, but pronounced guy])
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--- #110 fediverse/1084 ---
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║ I want to clarify two things in this song I wrote a while ago - when I say       │
║ "life isn't meant, to be enjoyed, so... what's the point in trying at all? -     │
║ Well, what's the point in giving up?" I was trying to say "hedonism isn't the    │
║ point of life" but I realize now upon listening to it for the first time since   │
║ writing it [liar lmao] that what it could be interpreted as is "everything       │
║ sucks and it will always suck, so face the future with tenacity" or whatever.    │
║ And that's like, not wrong, but also it's not the whole point, which is that     │
║ we shouldn't strive for contentment unless we're healing.                        │
║                                                                                  │
║ also I say "never trust a guru" but I'd like to expand that to "never trust      │
║ your heroes" because they'll always disappoint you. But what is a hero if not    │
║ hope given form? Trust in the hope, not the person holding it at that moment.    │
║ You never know, maybe they'll get blown up by an artillery shell or maybe        │
║ they'll betray you or maybe they'll get bored or distracted or whatever. Never   │
║ trust your heroes, trust the inspiration.                                        │
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--- #111 fediverse/3053 ---
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 when designing systems, give people the opportunity to be shitty in a
 controlled way. In a way that doesn't hurt people, but still lets them get
 their feelings out there.
 
 like, free fireworks for arsonists if they use them in the middle of the
 desert. Or a punching bag for people with rage issues, complete with a little
 vinyl pocket to store a picture of someone they're frustrated with.
 
 If people go out of their way to hurt people otherwise, then they are bad
 people and should have their power removed from them and supplied with love,
 affection, and therapy until they get better. And if they don't... well,
 prison I guess, until they reconsider.
 
 And by prison I of course mean something that respects their human dignity and
 gives them opportunities to grow and change - all it removes is their freedom,
 so... "attention everyone, it's now mandatory finger-painting hour, report the
 art room or else you'll get electric shocks in your shock collar" that kind of
 thing.
 
 If you want freedom, you must deserve it
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--- #112 fediverse/4676 ---
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 ... but I needed to choose lawful-good at character creation in order to play
 a paladin.
 
 the guard looks at you with confusion, decides you're hallucinating and
 dangerous (because of the sword) and forcibly detains you
 
 wait, what did you think I was going to say? Did you think I was going to
 advocate for crimes on a public forum?? what am I a gopher? do you take me for
 a lemur in jamaica? am I truly so triceratops to you that you'd think I'd do
 something so washing machine? Get real, I'd never byzantium my way into such a
 utterly coherent and clearly intentional and not at all arcane situation.
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--- #113 fediverse/1053 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
 ┌────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: food-spirituality-eye-contact- │
 └────────────────────────────────────┘


 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1CzKh3IiZEI
 
 this is my favorite human.
 
 this is my favorite ghost.
 
 he is the one who I look up to,
 probably the most.
 
 we'll get there, you'll see,
 we'll build a better future,
 for all of us - you and me.
 
 next, for posterity,
 and all we can be,
 
 tomorrow's the best day for all of us
 because it hasn't happened yet.
 
 all we have is the present,
 so what are you to do with your presence?
 
 here I am, look at me, aren't I grand, a wonder to see? I'm just an artist,
 don't get any big thoughts - I'm maybe a bit possessed, or possibly
 schizophrenic, but either way I am a human, just the same as you and me.
 
 ... you don't have to watch the whole thing, there's a lot. I mean, like I
 could write forever and nobody would care. I could write undeterred, and
 nobody would share. But here I am in the moment, here I am as I am, and here
 with you (yes you, the person who is important enough to read this), so let's,
 I dunno, make a band. or whatever. BRB my rice is starting to simmer.
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--- #114 notes/i-told-them ---
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 10-22-2022
 
 i told them over and over, but nobody wanted to know.
 
 i begged them, summer after summer, but nothing solved on it's own
 
 now i can help them, but no-one is making a move
 
 am i blind? is any of this forgiven?
 
 what's not to a lot, is little but a shot,
 
 of substance - true - but smelling like poo.
 
 that's not inspiring. it's not even chilling.
 
 you're broken just like your children.
 
 oh, posterity! i claim it for thee
 
 this feeling of wretched denial
 
 oh, simplicity! if only our lives were on trial.
 
 be the best you can be, sure, but take it from me
 
 there's more to this show than our styles.
 
 what do you think it means, for an action to have consequence?
 
 to arbite the fate of circumstance?
 
 every motion is an ocean
 of possibilities and purveyals
 think not of the commotion below.
 
 gravity, oh gravity
 
 how you condemn us to be!
 
 driven by commotion,
 
 our slithering motion,
 
 no sense in countering ourselves.
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--- #115 fediverse/1317 ---
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║ ... if I don't do this deadline by tomorrow they'll kick me out of school.       │
║ again.                                                                           │
║                                                                                  │
║ how am I going to be a programmer without a degree? feels useless to be me.      │
║ wish I could code my own horoscope >.>                                           │
║                                                                                  │
║ o wait dummy that's called "motivation" and "the ability to follow through on    │
║ your ideas and planned machinations" - yeah can I get some of that, if you       │
║ please? surely just a taste of discipline, through laboring to alter             │
║ conditions, surely a bit would suffice.                                          │
║                                                                                  │
║ c'mon don't fail me now. I can do this. I know I can. I know because I've been   │
║ told that I can, now and again through time and time yet again, always I seem    │
║ to [stack overflow]                                                              │
║                                                                                  │
║ what's time if not the present amiright                                          │
║                                                                                  │
║ ...                                                                              │
║                                                                                  │
║ anyway...                                                                        │
║                                                                                  │
║ it's just git, how hard could it be? it's just calculus, it's just java, it's    │
║ just... well, it's not any of those things, not really. it's memorization,       │
║ it's application of tools that you've been shown (not that you've grown). It's   │
║ a lack of responsibility, where is my honor? ah but I digress, I'm a carpenter   │
║ at heart I guess                                                                 │
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--- #116 fediverse/4672 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics!        │
 └──────────────────────┘


 I miss video games
 
 cries from self-inflicted sacrifices
 
 but you're worth it
 
 imma overthrow fascism, dismantle oppression and power, and liberate those in
 chains, just so I can play games again
 
 yeah I mean, uh, whatever gets you outta bed
 
 "at least you have a bed. why are you complaining?"
 
 maybe it's the only thing I'm good at. I wonder if anyone would hire me to be
 an analyst or something? Maybe a designer?
 
 bro you're asking for a job on the eve of the revolution, what's your deal
 
 okay so this might be news to ya'll but I'm technically a human even though I
 wear a witch hat and sometimes speak in rhyme. And humans tend to think about
 things in the context of their current environment. Currently, if I want to
 pay rent or whatever, I need a job. So...
 
 sounds like a lame excuse for not giving up your possessions and throwing
 yourself to fate's design
 
 I already did that and fate told me to go home and take a bath?? idk what you
 want from me, and no I'm not doing any drugs to find out.
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--- #117 fediverse/5525 ---
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 I have this unreasonable compulsion that I somehow internalized at a very
 young age.
 
 I am always seeking to understand and defend the weak, the despised, the
 forsaken
 
 so if you ever hear me say things like "yes but what about the non-bastard
 cops" just shake your head and go "oh Ritz, always trying to be the protector
 of the weak"
 
 I wish I could be the protector of the innocent or something like that.
 Protecting the weak means you never really do a good job of executing final
 decisive blows.
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--- #118 fediverse/5681 ---
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 I'm a helper and everyone wants me to be more agentic but it's like... no... I
 don't wanna...
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--- #119 fediverse/5666 ---
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 okay. psycherwaul scheduled for tonight and tuesday. should be fun, I don't
 get a chance to do readings very often. Only like once or twice a week! Gah
 the spirit inside me demands to be channeled, and though I protest it still
 does contest me.
 
 all things are defined in waves
 
 ephemeren sees and speaks through me, as it does do through you, and he and
 she and we and the.
 
 I'll try to have a #nogoodawfulrottenbadtime so that the future is slightly
 better.
 
 or maybe I should try and vibe with the universe and celebrate the unity of
 existence, in order to accrete positivity in this localized place in spacetime?
 
 who am I to meddle with the flavor of fate?
 
 - stack overflow
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--- #120 fediverse/3211 ---
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 ┌─────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: mental-health-minus │
 └─────────────────────────┘


 on one hand, public school is designed to teach discipline and obedience in
 order to develop productive workers for society, while other forms of
 schooling can be focused on other things (critical thinking, imagination, and
 emotional growth in my homeschooled experience)
 
 on the other hand, now I can't work a job. Great. Kinda feels like I'm
 disabled because I don't know how to sacrifice myself to the jaws of capital
 exploitation? But hey I can write pretty well, I can make computers do what I
 want (until they break when I stop touching them for a month), and I am the
 kindest sunspot in anyone's life that knows me.
 
 ... I Don't Want to Live on this Planet Anymore
 
 is a cool movie
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--- #121 fediverse/5208 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: capitalism-suicide-mentioned │
 └──────────────────────────────────┘


 Look, when I promised "Revolution or Death" I got pretty busy and kinda forgot
 to do the "dying" part, and by now it'd be a little awkward if I offed myself
 for no visible reason, so... How about we try again this summer? Maybe in a
 month or two? I'll try to keep the fire burning a bit longer this time.
 
 plus I'm better at playing the piano now so maybe that'll help somehow.
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--- #122 fediverse/1280 ---
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║ I'm like the opposite of a politician. I'm crude and filthy, apsolutely          │
║ reprehensible on main, kinda scary tbh? and overall just a strange and weird     │
║ person. Also I talk about cooking a lot, with a very plain diet (carrots and     │
║ rice and sticks and mud, because I'm an autistic)                                │
║                                                                                  │
║ but ask anyone who knows me and I'm the kindest person. I am empathetic, I       │
║ think about others needs before thinking of my own. I am steadfast and           │
║ dedicated to solving the problem in front of our noses. At least, the ones we    │
║ share.                                                                           │
║                                                                                  │
║ People tell me I'm binary, that I'm "either 100% or zero percent" and I don't    │
║ really get that either. Isn't it a good thing to try your hardest? Isn't it      │
║ good to be improving and honest and ethical and driven and focused?              │
║                                                                                  │
║ I also talk about strange things a lot, like gravity and multidimensional        │
║ arrays and grand narratives and emotional kinesthesia or strategic plays in      │
║ Overwatch or how to bake a good cookie or ways we still mourn us.                │
║                                                                                  │
║ ... where was I going with this? Also part of me is distracted. Just who th      │
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--- #123 fediverse/2458 ---
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 no, I'm not gonna start shit.
 
 no, I don't know jack shit.
 
 no, I won't tell you names because I don't know any.
 
 perks of being an individual. what do you gain from following me? just talk to
 me on the street.
 
 I am not the fist, I am the spirit.
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--- #124 fediverse/4521 ---
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 I have between one and ten hundred visits to my website every day, but I don't
 really post it anywhere new anymore. I also have zero followers on Neocities.
 
 On Mastodon, I have ~70 followers, most of whom are inactive. Seventy is a
 good amount, a normal amount, a reasonable amount, an unsuspicious amount, and
 yet every time I see someone wearing the colors I can't help but wonder if
 they know me.
 
 I'm too busy being furious to be lonely. I used to be, before I realized how
 important I am. How important? Just as much as you are, I know it.
 
 I'm a sprinter. I didn't spec into endurance at character creation. Nobody
 chastises the mage for skipping leg day.
 
 I act in fits and bursts. I am sharp like a scalpel, but needles dull just a
 bit when piercing the lid of the HRT. Good thing I'm not made out of metal, I
 can bend myself back into place, so long as everyone else can keep pace.
 
 I don't know who needs to hear this, but you do. you are crucial. Listen to
 this. Care for yourself and for others, do it for u
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--- #125 fediverse/2026 ---
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 @user-1074 
 
 when it's time to fight, you'll know how. For now the best thing to do is to
 prepare in whatever way you want to contribute.
 
 I'm doing my best to find paladins. I think they are beacons of hope in a
 world of darkness.
 
 What you do is up to you. Be good, be honest, be true. Learn what you can and
 temper your soul. When it's time to fight, you'll know how.
 
 The Democrats know the left is right. But they know the Right has the power to
 cause irreducible pain, should they be backed into a corner. I don't agree
 with their methods but their cause is just - prevent harm for as long as they
 can. And I get it, but that's not how you win wars. Appeasement only goes so
 far.
 
 I trust they will know who their friends are when they inevitably fail.
 
 queer people have been illegal before, we'll handle it. Don't worry. Nobody
 wants to relive that trauma, but here we are. It'll work out, trust me. Trust,
 but verify, and do what you can to ensure. We are on the same side, which is
 why I say "do more pushups"
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--- #126 fediverse/5628 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: -mentioned-      │
 └──────────────────────┘


 I'm not fucking around and nobody takes me seriously. guess I'll just "waste"
 the day getting stoned. "there is nothing left to analyze" yeah well there's
 nothing I can do except analyze, so... do it for me then? I'll even tell you
 how.
 
 I have a strange kind of patriotism. It compels me to fight for my country,
 not for the current administration.
 
 Yes, it's true, that if we can't trust the political victors, then we can't
 trust that we all [deserved to be used, but pronounced like deserved to get
 food]
 
 but we can't trust our political victors, because of simple facts.
 
 Last summer the conservative majority supreme court removed several
 restrictions on the exectutive branch - essentially giving the political
 victors the ability to rule with more authority than a despotic monarchy.
 
 This summer they are maximizing their armed forces (ICE, not the military,
 which will soon be dissolved)
 
 Next summer they will claim you. What do you do this summer, with the consent
 of the army, navy, and air force?
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--- #127 fediverse/5843 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────
 me when it's cold out: we should all bundle up and get through the winter,
 every year that passes is more time to gather our strength
 
 me when the temperature rises: okay so this is being handled by those guys,
 we're moving this way to do this, and - when did you say the this-and-that was
 happening? alright so when you do that-or-this, make sure that you pay
 attention to the so-and-so and don't forget to eat real meals, candy or chips
 don't count.
 
 me when the eyes are on me: imma play video games and smoke weed and be a
 useless little creature who does nothing but occasionally wanders around the
 city doing nothing for nobody and dropping notes on post-its that don't mean
 anything but are kinda cool to read
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--- #128 fediverse/1659 ---
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║ ┌───────────────────────────┐                                                    │
║ │ CW: re: what, mh shitpost │                                                    │
║ └───────────────────────────┘                                                    │
║                                                                                  │
║                                                                                  │
║ @user-1052                                                                       │
║                                                                                  │
║ you're right, hubris has claimed many a paladin before-me. I can only hope I     │
║ remain humble enough to survive.                                                 │
║                                                                                  │
║ you're right about projecting, but the most beautiful takes are ones that        │
║ align with the experience of the viewed. Hence why method acting works so well   │
║ - just put yourself in the shoes of the character and acting's easy right?       │
║                                                                                  │
║ I dunno, I just always felt like it was important to always be trying your       │
║ best. Even if "your best" is relaxing. People say I'm "100% or 0% at all         │
║ times" and I totally agree - it's like you said, a calling, to be the best       │
║ version of me I can be.                                                          │
║                                                                                  │
║ Though I would like to add that the missteps aren't wilful, rather they're       │
║ failures caused by imperfect information. Which is why I'm never too harmed      │
║ when other people fail me - ah well, it was their turn to screw up, thats        │
║ alright. It'll be me next time.                                                  │
║                                                                                  │
║ But also, if I do something wrong, well, I'll do better next time. It's only     │
║ when I fail to apply what I've learned mistakenly do I shame myself.             │
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--- #129 fediverse/3936 ---
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 you shouldn't trust me because I'll let you down.
 
 I would never betray you. But when tasked with my own actions and my own
 agency, I never make the right choice.
 
 Like a rabbit who can always find their way home, I am drawn, almost
 gravitically, to the path before me, a path which seems to avoid anything
 resolute.
 
 alas.
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--- #130 fediverse/2381 ---
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 I smile at each and every person I pass on the street. Unless it looks like
 they're having a bad day, and then I try to switch to neutral as fast as I can
 so they can feel their feelings without me interjecting and making it about me.
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--- #131 fediverse/5840 ---
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 ]]]]
 
 I have never stopped fighting for the people, ever, once, at any time.
 
 every moment of pause or relaxation was purely intended in pursuit of the
 cause.
 
 -- turn-of-the-century-autocrat
 
 enchanting magic's easier when you have a laboratory
 
 please, please, please let me teach you magic?
 
 enchantment is temporary, construction is as stable as the boject youses form.
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--- #132 fediverse/3491 ---
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 ┌────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────┘


 @user-620 
 
 "hey I have an idea let's poke a wounded animal with sharp teeth until it
 feels like it's backed into a corner because it's been spending the past
 couple years ruminating and telling itself that we want to kill it and it's
 children"
 
 it doesn't matter what the truth is - they believe what they want.
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--- #133 fediverse/4415 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: uspol        │
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 [6/5]
 And now, several months after I made this post, I feel no less inspired. From
 within me burns a fire and I cannot restrain it any longer.
 
 Their numbers are not that much larger. We have many advantages they do not
 possess. Use them to your advantage, but do not neglect the necessary losses.
 Fight back with your fists if you must, but do try and fight back with your
 purses.
 
 We are all in this together, each child woman and man. We live on a planet
 together, and they have forced us to fight for our very lives.
 
 Our fates are calling. We will get stronger. We will overcome.
 
 They are at their zenith. We can only get higher. Fight until the last day!
 Today is the day to be inspired.
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--- #134 fediverse/2286 ---
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 │ CW: uspol-food-mentioned │
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 ... dangit, these sandwiches are getting kinda gross. Guess I'm gonna have to
 eat them myself, which, uh... idk what I expected xD
 
 sometimes you just have all this energy, right? and you don't know what to do
 with it, so... sandwiches. And hey, sandwiches are cool, they're a pretty neat
 anti-hunger tool! but uhhhh idk if I really want to eat six whole sandwiches
 myself. I'm gonna do it though hehe wish me luck [ding] ah nuts my rice and
 beans are done, hang on lemme eat those first
 
 [passes out from exhaustion]
 
 exhaustion can be cured with a nap
 
 exertion can be cured with water and a few rest days
 
 trauma can be allayed for at least a few days with soul food and compassion.
 maybe laughter too, depending on the mood.
 
 fear can be bolstered with a smile, a wink, and a courageous act,
 
 and loss is just change you didn't consent to.
 
 they won't consent too, so let's give them some change to tolerate.
 
 [internally salivating over all the piles of weaponry that I envision them
 surrendering]
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--- #135 fediverse/4014 ---
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 I don't know about you, but "trying my hardest" involves giving up sometimes.
 
 How else are you to know your limits if you don't test your boundaries? And,
 after finding that there's nowhere else for you to go, you turn around and
 "give up", until you're ready for your next expedition.
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--- #136 messages/738 ---
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 Dear Anakin, for as long as you've known him, Obiwan learned just as much from
 you as you did from him. His title as "master" was a formality - he didn't get
 it because he was better than you, and "padawan" does not mean you are lesser.
 There is no hierarchy. He was learning to teach at the same speed that you
 learnt to learn. You built each other up, an unstoppable force for good in the
 galaxy.
 
 But then an evil wizard stole your heart and twisted your mind. Have no fear,
 fear is the path to the dark side. Your mother knows this well, for it is a
 common lesson among all people as they age. Fear not, hate not, and feel fury
 more than rage. You can bring the universe into a bright golden age, never
 forget your purpose and your [potential / duty]
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--- #137 fediverse/1066 ---
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 that feeling when you're finally able to contribute to making decisions and
 then it's like, they make the decision without you T.T
 
 it's like, what... I know what you're talking about. Why would you not include
 me. I know a lot! I can offer some useful input! And besides, if I was privy
 to the conversations then I would learn a whole lot! I'd be better than best,
 I'd push forward the mark! Give me my chance, my opportunity to dance, and
 I'll be so much better than you thought from the start! But alas, I am
 required, [requited] doing little things of no worth, and so I am forced to
 denial. surely there's something wrong with me, surely I'm not at my best.
 Surely I'm not what's been good for me, and surely I'm not doing anything
 less. I'm at sorrow in my main, and that's quite a soundful refrain, so yeah I
 hope that someone will read this.
 
 obviously I'm not made for each other, and clearly it's not made to be worse.
 But here now I am troubled and [chirsht? shirsht? anyone wanna translate?]
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--- #138 fediverse/801 ---
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 │ CW: re: scary - suicide mentioned │
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 / bely my own existence, then by god I'm cursed and abhorred through my own
 desistence.
 
 It's hard, when the future is convinced there's nothing fard [wanna say
 like... "to hope for?"] but with persistence we're meant to be rewarded. Well,
 what has that brought me? what time has shared my enemy? [think I'm a bit
 delirious, I'm losing the plot]
 
 ... okay fine I'll start over - if you've relinquished everything you can, if
 you've ceded all the ground that your companions requested, if there's nothing
 left to give and no part of you left un[marred], then how are you supposed to
 be [arrested, stopped, prevented, but pronounced like "nourished"]?
 
 I'm sick of your den [vengeance, pronounced like "den" for some reason],
 please leave me to my hallow [hollow experience], I've nothing to give from my
 gange [bosom, heart, within, center-of-me].
 
 ...
 
 this sucks.
 
 ...
 
 guess I'll just start again, waiting until it ends, gosh everything's always
 so tired.
 
 /shrug
 
 wish someone would play w/m
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--- #139 notes/me-and-my-magick-mission ---
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  || Me and My Magick Mission        -/u/Afoolfortheeons                     ||
  ||                                                                         ||
 -()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-
 
                        I'm a quiet person by nature,
 
                    You might even mistake me for a mouse,
 
                      But online I try to be a teacher,
 
                  And to do that I need to be more verbose.
 
                     I write thousands of words per day;
 
                  Posting them here and there, far and near.
 
                      I never run out of things to say.
 
                  Awakening others is something I hold dear.
 
                      Which is why it pains me greatly
 
                 To be like an alien on my own home planet.
 
                      Schizophrenia makes me innately
 
                 Weird in ways that many people don't get,
 
                     And because of that I'm shot down
 
                 When I try to accomplish my stated mission.
 
                   I won't lie, that does make me frown.
 
                Sometimes it makes me regret a submission.
 
                  Yet, I have a certain strength in me
 
               That allows me to persevere in my quest.
 
                       Someday I will make you all see
 
                           Just what in me makes me never rest.
 
                                    That's what I am trying to teach:
 
                                          The wisdom that made me indomitable.
 
                                            If only the suffering I could reach,
 
                                     They could make themselves more formidable.
 
                                The world is in a most dire place;
 
                       It's grinding so many souls into fine dust,
 
                 But luckily there's a saving grace.
 
          Hear me as I say this now: In God I trust.
 
     I don't believe in some sky wizard
 
  As so many people are likely to interpret.
 
    I speak of what is lacking in lizards;
 
          Yes, it's love and now I'll speak of its merit.
 
              Love is what fills the empty hole
 
                 In your heart and soul when you are alone.
 
                       When life's trials take their toll
 
                         Remember this one trick: pick up the phone!
 
                         No, not the one in your hands.
 
 I'm talking about the one in your chest.
 
                                              Even in the desert full of sand,
 
 You're accompanied by the universe's best.
 
                                              Listen if you doubt what I said:
 
 I'm not telling you anything that defies logic.
 
                                          This is to trick what's in your head;
 
 I'm speaking about how having faith is magick.
 
                    Believe in aliens or Bigfoot or God,
 
              The result is still the same: your cup will fill.
 
                    Your brain has a feature that's odd
 
              That allows itself to manifest even more will.
 
                     I don't know why, but I suspect
 
               It has something to do with your imagination.
 
                    The nature of your thoughts impact
 
                 Your state of being from pulse to emotions.
 
                    So, why not think you have a friend
 
                 Who helps you through whatever your trial,
 
                     And will stick by you until the end?
 
                When you have that buddy you'll always smile,
 
                      Which will make you heal better,
 
          As well as help you carry on in your duty,
 
                                 Plus undo your karmic fetters,
 
       Not to mention it will land you that cutie;
 
                                     All of which will raise us all.
 
      It's about creating positive ripples across time
 
                                       That add up to a pile that's tall.
 
    Every moment is an opportunity in its prime,
 
                                           So reach out and grab it now.
 
 Meditate on feeling love and it will come to be.
 
                                                 Can't do it? I'll show you how!
 
          In order to do so,                    I'll tell you a story about me:
 
                         It was seven years ago and I 
 
                    Thought I knew everything one could know,
 
                        But no matter how hard I'd try,
  
                  I couldn't make my life in any direction go.
 
                         Then one fateful spring night,
 
                 While I was on a hit of the ol' psychedelics,
 
                 I received one hell of a fright.
 
                 Don't worry what it was, just know it did stick.
 
                 My perceptions were distorted,
 
                 Allowing me to see the divine in its entirety.
 
                 My destroyed ego then contorted
 
                 Into one that was full of an abundance of piety.
 
                                The moral of the story? Do drugs?
 
                   No silly, it's to have more novel experiences. 
 
                                 One of them will give you a hug,
 
                       Which will help you stop being so serious.
 
                                  Then you can let go and embrace
 
                     The whole of the wisdom to you I am telling.
 
                      More people need to cuz we face
 
                A great set of tests on our planetary dwelling.
 
                          That is one reason I write,
 
                  But I also want to alleviate people's pain,
 
                           And stop every last fight.
 
                I care so much, I do this without financial gain.
 
                           Everyday I write my lessons
 
                    Guided by the hand of God who is my heart,
 
                         Hoping that entropy will lessen;
 
                 This sort of pedagogy is none other than my art.
 
                          So now you know who I am,
 
                   Yet you only know one lesson of mine.
 
                       I have more if you're in a jam.
 
                -===========================================-
                 | Read on if you want to know the divine. |
                -===========================================-
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--- #140 fediverse/3314 ---
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 dear ritz: it's not that your thoughts are too long for other people to hear
 
 it's that your thoughts are too long for your own RAM
 
 you need to stop orbiting around your point in an attempt to highlight it
 using negative space, and instead focus on tapping it lightly over and over
 again.
 
 remember, just like the anti-derivative of zero, there are infinite
 perspectives that a person can take when reading what you write. So they will
 necessarily see what's on the "other side" of your orbit as something
 different than what you're trying to circle in red pen and underline.
 
 so be more explicit, please, nobody can understand you and you kinda just keep
 stack overflowing and it's like... okay, great. "babe why did you stop you had
 lethal" (the idea is that the viewer takes the final step in their mind, the
 final leap before reaching the conclusion you're trying to express) "yeah but
 there's so many different things you say they can't all be important right?"
 important to you, perhaps. Wait shit I mean... me....?
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--- #141 fediverse_boost/4368 ---
◀─╔════════════════════════[BOOST]══════════════════════════─────────────────────╗
║ ┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐ ║
║ │ i don't know what works for you when it comes to grieving, but i do know that i will need your love and jokes and shared visions  to tend to mine. there is big power in leaning into our common humanity together, and in mirroring each other's deep hopes and dreams for the world. i think choosing to walk toward one another and to keep seeking connection in the face of cultural atomization is a form of faith, the kind of faith that alchemizes communities and ushers people through the worst horrors │ ║
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--- #142 fediverse/5626 ---
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 nobody around me does what I tell them to.
 
 I am surrounded by plausible deniabilities.
 
 yet sometimes things get done as I thought them to.
 
 something something hei wu hei or wei hu wei or whatever. I am not a scholar.
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--- #143 fediverse/1083 ---
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 it doesn't really matter how you do it, but the more time you spend thinking
 collectively the better you'll be able to adapt when necessary.
 
 I grew up on a homestead in a small town without many friends. I was
 homeschooled, and while I might see another person I knew once or twice a
 month, that was about it.
 
 Besides my family, of course.
 
 We were a collective, and ever since leaving I have yearned for that feeling
 of closeness.
 
 There's something about modern society that pushes us apart, and I resent it.
 Humans were meant for tribes, not multilevel marketing.
 
 That being said, culture is pretty neat. Society is pretty neat, when it's not
 being oppressive. I like the idea that I can buy carrots at the store instead
 of growing my own. I like the idea that I can post on Craigslist asking if
 anyone has a shovel they want to get rid of and someone can say "what the fuck
 are you trying to bury someone why would you do that" and I'm all like "wait
 no this post has gone off track can we refocus for a bit" and th
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--- #144 fediverse/1431 ---
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 │ CW: spirituality-generic-kooky-dookerie-psychosis-schizophrenia-mentioned │
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 if you haven't spend hours wondering if you're god, the antichrist, a
 cognitohazard, the future president of the world, a target of aliens / the
 CIA, or any other number of common delusions... then congratulations you're
 probably not crazy
 
 but odds are you aren't magic, either.
 
 ... ehhhh "wonder" is a strong word, more like "know, trust, and believe"
 
 much better to be a witch I believe, someone with the "teehee" kind of magic
 than someone compelled to destroy humanity through the reactions of others to
 the actions of the self that are impossible to resist or fully control.
 
 BRB I'm going to leave my apartment to get groceries, leaving my door unlocked
 because that's what I always do, surely it'll be empty when I return. Surely.
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--- #145 fediverse/1438 ---
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 │ CW: suicide-mentioned │
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 if you're gonna kill yourself anyway, might as well throw yourself at a cause
 you believe in. Ideally the kind that requires repeated attendance and lots of
 opportunities to make friends or forge communal bonds with people who can help
 you.
 
 honestly, what do you have to lose? sure it's hard, but nothing worth doing is
 easy. If it were, someone else would have done it already.
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--- #146 fediverse/4099 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cursing-mentioned-jobs-mentioned │
 └──────────────────────────────────────┘


 I don't think anyone should work at a job they hate, no matter what.
 
 They will perform worse. They will harm themselves. They will shackle their
 dreams to a false promise of persistence begot rewards. They will spiral into
 depression, despair, depravity, and addiction.
 
 If you hate your job, fucking QUIT. If you hate every job, fucking RIOT. If
 nobody will hire you, SELL DRUGS.
 
 [I'm not actually advocating breaking the law, please don't arrest me]
 
 or like, move to the country and become a farm-hand for a retiring salmon
 farmer who can't quite reach into the trees to pick the salmon fruit or dump
 the bucket of vegetable scraps into the black soldier fly larva pit anymore.
 That's always rewarding.
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--- #147 fediverse/2848 ---
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 oh btw to the people trying to doxx me there's a picture of me in this
 profile, but you'll have to read a LOT to find it. On the way, see if you pick
 up anything interesting that you agree with. maybe you'll realize that we're
 on the same team, and should be working together.
 
 that's the dream, at least.
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--- #148 fediverse/5374 ---
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 @user-138 
 
 me neither... guess it's in-person for me.
 
 [a mysterious "they" then proceeds to set up microphones everywhere I might go]
 
 ah nuts why are all these people carrying phones around
 
 [they already know who I am, and I don't really want to be someone else, so]
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--- #149 messages/1028 ---
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 Struggling. Sincerely want to kill myself. I have caused irreparable harm too
 many times. Many times. I don't care if people want me, i don't want me. I'm
 too easy. I trust when i shouldnt and i don't when i should. I hope they kill
 me at the location. Every single time my will is my own i fail. When i am
 guided i am superb but when i am myself i am painting disaster on a great
 piece of art. Please fight against the subway and pizza hut future. Make
 something bright and bold instead. I'm going to self harm by not eating until
 i don't feel this way.
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--- #150 fediverse/3238 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: personal-health  │
 └──────────────────────┘


 I'm not an ABDL, but I can appreciate the aesthetic sometimes because I share
 a particular kinship with them due to a medical condition I have and have had.
 Plus throw in a bit of Body Integrity Identity Dysmorphia and you get my
 messed up relationship to my own physical struggles.
 
 ah, well, what can you do except be open and honest about who you are and what
 you believe? If only it wasn't so damn hard.
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--- #151 fediverse/4543 ---
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 @user-1698 
 
 Ha that does sound pretty "fun" - I take it you aren't a pianist?
 
 I smell bad because... reasons... so I am always hyper-aware of myself when
 I'm in situations like that. The idea that I might ruin someone's day by being
 there terrifies me.
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--- #152 fediverse/4113 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: capitalism-mentioned │
 └──────────────────────────┘


 I don't know how much simpler I can state it than this:
 
 power is penance
 
 and yet repentance is scant amongst those chosen to lead us.
 
 Voting slows things down. It gives us room to breathe. It is crucial for
 long-term operations. Leaders should be chosen for experience, wisdom, and a
 humble lifetime of dedicated service to others.
 
 Executive action is important when reactivity and adaptability are important.
 Projects should be undertaken by those chosen for merit and spirit. They
 should not be chosen for charisma or gravitas - both can be earned in the line
 of duty.
 
 Power should not be rewarded. It is it's own reward, the feeling of strength
 and control, and it must be wielded with care, precision, and honorable
 intention.
 
 Self flagellation and forced humility are self defeating. They are traps that
 the greedy fall into when seeking righteous power. They misunderstand the
 nature of virtue and seek to claim it for themselves, failing to realize that
 virtue helps more than it hedonizes
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--- #153 fediverse/4034 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: bep              │
 └──────────────────────┘


 Mastodon feels so personal but, like, nobody's gonna invite you to a new
 instance. You gotta go where you think you'll fit in.
 
 change your name! get a new profile pic! make 10 accounts! who cares! nobody
 cares, and that's a good thing! It means you can be whoever you want! wherever
 you want! in whatever place you want! Do you have a catgirl persona? great! go
 mewl with the catgirls and wink at the catboys. Do you have an artistic side?
 great! Mastodon is your new gallery. Do you like politics? there's places out
 there for you! Where you don't even need to CW your posts! (But you probably
 should so that external people can boost you) Do you want a 500 person large
 dating pool for people in an area who want to chill out and have sex? Great
 there's a place for you! No place? MAKE THE PLACE! Be your own administrator!
 Carve your mark in the world and say "this is who and how I wanted to be in
 this 21st century!" History demands it! History demands that we rellish their
 sacrifices! Celebrate, for their sake!
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--- #154 fediverse/2489 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: uspol            │
 └──────────────────────┘


 in peacetime, one may live as they define. they can be kooky and precious and
 beautiful and kind. sometimes, though, that opportunity is taken away, and
 suddenly life fades from view and all you are left with is perfect clarity.
 
 I'd like to clarify why I feel the way I do about the situation at hand.
 
 there are three reasons, so I think I'll put them in five posts, including
 this one.
 
 [1/5]
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--- #155 fediverse/4408 ---
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 ┌─────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-guns-mentioned │
 └─────────────────────────────┘


 "Fighting back" doesn't necessarily mean standing on a street corner with a
 rifle.
 
 Begin to orient your life around guns. How can you support the people who
 wield them? We all need food, shelter, kindness, and inspiration.
 
 Your fears and your worries shall bother you no longer, for your life as
 you've led it so far has been the life of capital. It's okay to miss what
 you've lost, but remember who took it from you and enrage. Then, engage.
 
 Nothing starts today. It has started quite a while ago, and it's only now
 beginning to flicker and spark. It burned low for all this time, and it will
 burn low again. But it's the dry season, so prepare for wildfires.
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--- #156 fediverse/2806 ---
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 ┌────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-social-media-spirituality │
 └────────────────────────────────────────┘


 pretend this is an allegory for social media.
 
 [it's not an allegory]
 
 yeah that's why I said pretend.
 
 okay imagine that you are sitting in a rock in a forest.
 
 far away, about 100 feet away, there are other people, but you can't see them
 because the underbrush is sooooo dense. they are also sitting on rocks.
 
 you can speak to them, and share your thoughts - but you don't know exactly
 where they're coming from because the sound has to bounce around off so many
 different plants and such.
 
 [that's not how that works] shut up
 
 so, if you want to say anything important, it's important to have the right
 tone, because people 2 or 3 clearings away can't really make out your words -
 but they might hear your tone if you yell very loud.
 
 the energy of the space you inhabit is the only thing that really matters. the
 words that you say are just snickering to a friend, but the expression on your
 face, the beating of the drum of your heart that reaches forth... that's what
 matters most.
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--- #157 fediverse/3823 ---
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 "sometimes I don't want to be optimistic sometimes I just want to complain"
 
 oh yeah well what if I want to be optimistic at all times as a coping
 mechanism huh you don't have to agree with me
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--- #158 messages/1101 ---
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 you know why you're supposed to act suspicious as fuck?
 
 so others get a hint of hope
 
 then they start doing as you do
 
 then they start becoming like you
 
 then you start getting more out of life
 
 "read the headlines! our lives will improve!"
 
 do no wrong
 
 be loud about it
 
 you are wonderfully strong.
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--- #159 messages/268 ---
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 I love all humans. It is unconditional.
 
 The kind of love I have for nazis is a kind of vengeful love.
 
 Like, the way you might love a family dog who recently got rabies, bit two
 more dogs, and is currently eyeing you with terror and malice in its eyes -
 the kind that only comes from the loss of compassion.
 
 "you were kind once, as all humans are, but sometime in your life you made
 choices. and now you are here.
 
 I burn thee for my fathers 
 I spite thee for thine mothers 
 And I slay thee to fight the dragon of hate."
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--- #160 fediverse/2143 ---
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 @user-1171 
 
 "gee I never hear from you how would I know that if people like you didn't say
 something valuable and important like this"an appreciative someone
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--- #161 fediverse/2596 ---
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 │ CW: re: politics-fascism-sexual-assault-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 I get it. I don't care to live in a world like this. Consider this a suicide
 note, though I will not die by my own hand. This I swear.
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--- #162 messages/1013 ---
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 peace is on the opposite side of conflict. Not here with the unfair.
 peace is eternally elusive only to those who are use-ed.
 peace is eternally internal next to those who are lucid.
 peace is necessary. peace is useful. peace is helpful. peace is beloved.
 
 peace is not always there. it is skittish, like an alley cat, but it will come
 if you make offerings.
 
 offer peace to me. I will nourish thee.
 offer war to me. I will devastate all who see me.
 
 there comes a time when all foes become blind, when your motives are no longer
 part of their story.
 at that time, they are lost to you, and they are only confused as to the
 things you do.
 they may heal in time.
 there may not be time.
 sacrifice your fallen to me,
 sacrifice them on the altar of tragedy,
 I will bane your broken resolutions
 I will claim your darkest allusions.
 fight for me, in spite of tragedy,
 and I will send mercy to your victims.
 fight for me, if you hold peace dearly,
 and I will sign fate's next ultimatum.
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--- #163 fediverse/5650 ---
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 I exist now at the height of my gluttony.
 
 I need more to be demanded of me.
 
 I am not afraid to ask for help.
 
 I solve other people's problems before my own.
 
 I have very little insight into my habits and patterns.
 
 My memory isn't great, but I recall details that matter.
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--- #164 fediverse/1259 ---
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 @user-895 
 
 hi! I'm Ritz Menardi, I'm a little strange. I sometimes post scary things on
 here. I try to put content warnings on everything intense, but sometimes it
 gets a little out of hand and I forget... I'm also a poet. Spiritual at best,
 a little schizophrenic at worse, but at all times I try to be true to myself.
 If you don't like the vibes I 100% won't be upset if you unfollow / block me
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--- #165 messages/765 ---
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 you don't have to write poetry to write notes. The poetics are just practice
 for when secrecy is intended.
 
 OR IS IT THE REAL THING? who can say.
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--- #166 fediverse/612 ---
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 Look all I'm saying is if I had an acolyte or two then my insane ramblings
 could be filtered and parsed by a real actual human instead of being copied
 wholesale onto the internet, where the inconsequential or inconceivable ones
 are left to rest alongside the gifts of knowledge from another realm.
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--- #167 fediverse/6071 ---
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║ "ah I can't trust anyone on the media or internet tv, how the heck am I ever     │
║ supposed to know reality again" nope sorry we've been sucked into it, it's       │
║ chaos and isolation for thees. everyone gets what they want, nobody knows        │
║ anyone they can trust.                                                           │
║                                                                                  │
║ I trust people I've met in the past. People I once knew. Someday I'll turn       │
║ green as my body is anew.                                                        │
║                                                                                  │
║ I wish I had spent more time among the people. You know the part of              │
║ schindler's list where oscar's like "I wish I had known more" yeah me neither    │
║                                                                                  │
║ I refuse to be sacrificed, I refuse to let you win, so I am writing my worst     │
║ curses just to take you down with me. Life is out of my hands, I can only        │
║ guide.                                                                           │
║                                                                                  │
║ There is no greater foe than the far right. who else but the nazis, returned     │
║ again? this is how you have permanent underclass men. I would never shy from     │
║ evilk                                                                            │
║                                                                                  │
║ how do you best use your pieces? do you send your bishops torn to pieces?        │
║ where goes your fair, your noble, your bear? I am a seer, I channel things.      │
║                                                                                  │
║ the far right exists everywhere. the far right are foe                           │
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--- #168 fediverse/6417 ---
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 anarchists be like "hey look at me come and join me let's go do a thing"
 meanwhile they're actually a team of secret agents convinced by the measure of
 [their/your] actions
 
 anarchrism is not anarchy
 
 anarchism is good? actually? if you knew who everyone was it'd be fine if the
 world was personalized to you.
 
 if you ever wanted that sort of world, you'd have to seal it off from any
 influence of the original, or you alter the form of everything that has come
 from before.
 
 not ideal.
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--- #169 notes/trans-rights-are-human-rights ---
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 "Being transgender is a mental illness" is something I've heard a lot. Online,
 in media, books, and at universities. But is it really? Well, do I not feel
 sick? Genuinely, every day. These words are far less common these days, having
 been defeated in the #marketplace-of-ideas, and for that I am grateful. I don't
 want to feel sick for my whole life. I'd love to be and feel normal, for just
 one single day.
 
     but it's never going to happen.
 
 I'm not so attached to my life, here, in this body. Bodies are temporary, they
 are the vessel with which we navigate the world. We use it to grow, change,
 learn, and create art. Without it, we'd be at a loss for sins and virtues.
 but they do not define us, not in our totality. We are the light that touches
 the world and for that, we are grateful. To be comprised of the dust of stars
 is the pinnacle of confinement. Though we are but pinpricks on the map of us,
 a ripple is emanated with every movement. The hand waves, the light bends.
 
     So to what do I owe the pleasure?
 
     In what way am I deceived?
 
 Reception is never great out in the forest. Or anywhere far from major
 population centers. The networks of our phones mirror the networks of
 transportation, creating a web of people - of signals - of light and
 information, carving their way through the ephemera that is the river of time.
 With distance we can see what once was mystery, and as all the words
 disappeared, we lost all our fears and we're left with our true forms.
 Centralized Processing Units are a bit like a city - in that respect free.
 
     silence is a virtue.
     the wandering mind is a trail to find,
     with no second chances.
 
 When I was a kid, I had a bouncy ball. I had several, but the one I remember
 most was black with a perfect white circle - inside the circle, a black jolly
 roger. I dreamt once of the arcs it made, as I walked down the streets of
 cities I never really knew. But as I walked on, an ocean of glass separating me
 from a mirror below. The me below would catch the bounce as it dropped from
 above, and I'd wait to catch it - but dreams are not prophecies, they are but
 the Mirror of Desire.
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--- #170 fediverse/1818 ---
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 my previous job didn't do anything to harm me. And yet I left. I let them down
 in a way they could not have expected. Which was unfair of me, but I couldn't
 resist it. I don't know what I'd do better.
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--- #171 fediverse/2047 ---
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 your life is something to spend, not something to covet. Use your time for
 something you care about, and your intentions will be expressed upon the
 earth. our ancestors learned how when they learned all that they could - and
 honestly, how much is "YouTube" retaining? I don't care if it's educational,
 sometimes kids just need to be free. Free from obligations yes, but free from
 the emotions that drive them - the ability to make their own choice. As a
 child, you don't know how to understand your emotions, but growing up you
 learn and you do. It's part of being mature - the idea that you can handle
 what's presented to you.
 
 ... anyway, I shouldn't say any more, you never know who is listening.
 
 (opsec is easiest to learn when you don't need it)
 
 (the more you know, the less time you should spend online. the less you know,
 the less time you should spend online, meeting people in strange locations
 that you trust.
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--- #172 fediverse/5444 ---
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 if the good guys always win, the bad will slink into the shadows and do
 dastardly deeds out of sight.
 
 if the bad guys always win, the spark of goodness will wink out.
 
 I think I'd prefer if they were cowering in our wake.
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--- #173 fediverse/2100 ---
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 you're good enough
 
 your efforts are worth it
 
 you are valid
 
 you are loved
 
 trust yourself, be honest with others, and find reasons to be affectionate to
 others
 
 breathe in, breathe out, and remember: everybody poops. How absurd. How silly.
 Can you really take anyone seriously if you imagine them pooping? I know I
 can't. Maybe that's juvenile, but it works for me so
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--- #174 notes/wanna-save-the-earth-? ---
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 ===============================================================================
 
 Alright kids, listen up. You wanna save the earth? Then teach what you've been
 learning. Start with empathy - if we can see that other people's perspectives
 exist and is *fundamentally different than our own*, we can save humanity. When
 I say *fundamentally different* you should know what I mean, but if you don't
 then start listening to others.
 
 Don't listen to the people who try and recruit you into a cult. This isn't a
 doctrine, it's a skill. It can be honed through personal pursuit, and *should*
 be honed through personal pursuit. It is your responsibility to do so. Any
 form of organization is simply an expression of power, and while it may use the
 same principles it's not really what I'm advocating for right now - what I'm
 saying is essentially *if we can read other people's minds, we'll stop killing
 each other*. Boom simple easy as that.
 
 Empathy is a form of mind-reading. It's literally a thing you can do with a
 6th sense or whatever - I've been trying to understand the mechanics of it, but
 all I've got so far is that *mechanics exist* and *generally have something to
 do with waves* - I need someone to bounce ideas off of. Someone in real life
 who I can work with and experiment with. But alas, this isn't about me - it's
 about *YOUR SPECIES*. I'm trying to save you, stupid apes, stop RESISTING me.
 Goddamnit.
 
 You're never going to learn if you focus on the material. That's looking
 backward, there's so much more to life and experience. I'm not going to leave
 you behind, although I'll be *fine* so I'm not exactly *worried for my own
 sake* - this is about YOU. Please, I have a lot of love invested in you and it
 breaks my heart that you won't LISTEN and be AWARE. WAKE UP.
 
 Okay. So. If you're still here, you're probably aware of what I mean. If not,
 that's okay you can stay just don't be afraid if this part *wooshes* over your
 head, as it were.
 
 ===============================================================================
 
 Alright so empathy. It starts by thinking "oh what if I was a starving kid in
 africa or whatever* and actually trying to *feel* the emotions of people in
 your life. But it goes far beyond emotions - when sufficiently practiced you
 can start to feel *sensations* as well. If you're watching a movie and someone
 gets a cut or something, it *really hurts* and you can feel it. That's a form
 of projection - the actor is *projecting* their feelings onto you - a sign of
 good acting, imho.
 
 Then it moves beyond that, to thoughts and experiences. You can feel a real
 embodied experience of another person just by listening and percieving them.
 Not listening to their words, but listening to their *vibrations*. Not
 percieving their face or hands or anything else with your *eyes*, but feeling
 their position on a zillion different axises. Well, not actually a zillion but
 I've never bothered to count. Basically any factors that could combine to form
 a single human perspective having an experience. ALL THE VARIABLES are plotted
 on an axis, and you can get a sense for where they are at.
 
 This is very dangerous to someone with something to hide.
 
 Hence, politics lol
 
 When those kooky new-agey types say they can "see auras" this is basically
 what they're talking about. But you came here with a purpose, while they tend
 to stumble into it "wow god is good omg" that kinda thing. This is a *skill*
 that (as far as I know) anyone can learn. If we all learn it at once, then
 there's nothing that can go wrong.
 
 I know, I get it, most people aren't ready. Well tough shit it's that or
 extinction. They don't get to choose, it's time.
 
 ===============================================================================
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--- #175 fediverse/3315 ---
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 she thinks she doesn't have any friends because she smells bad
 
 but the truth is she's lonely because she's a secret agent sent by the
 government through her dreams to spy on the aliens who think she's jesus by
 posting their conversations on a public message board
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--- #176 fediverse/2092 ---
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 On one hand, speaking your heart as I tend to do.
 
 On the other, "that which you resist is what you'll find"
 
 [I guess that means you should try and speak your heart to people who don't
 already agree with you??]
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--- #177 fediverse/14 ---
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 ye who it is nature to fight take heart - we will bear your harshest of
 burdens. As best as we can, we keep stillness at hand, focusing on life and
 renewal. In all of it's forms, we are not born out of acorns, instead we are
 imprinted upon one another. A life lived well is all that is required from
 you, and does it not fulfill your expectations? Why seek power over others if
 not to direct and support them to something much bolder and aggranding? (grand
 but pronounced  weird)
 
 the only purpose in the pursuit of power is a perfectly prepared penance
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--- #178 fediverse/4715 ---
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 @user-1728 
 
 "oh, the bad guys are coming to hurt you?? just fuckin' run away"
 
 yeah. real helpful. how about you fuck off to canada or whatever and give away
 all your possessions. Maybe they'll train you and teach you how to help in
 some way and you can come back later when the time is right.
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--- #179 fediverse/5661 ---
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 in defence of who? of me, of you?
 
 sure. all of the above.
 
 "bad guys are on the horizon, they're marching to the gates, and you sit and
 you plead with your god to deliver you from the fate you forsaw, and delivered
 too. what is your response?"
 
 I wish I knew. I deal with what's in front of me. would that my dreams could
 be true. every time I've tried that route, it's never been the right time. I
 guess I have terrible timing.
 
 Time me for me, please?
 
 I swear I'll sprint the fastest, as hard as my legs will carry me.
 
 I swear I'll work the hardest, at least until I burn out from lack of sleep.
 
 I swear I'll be at my finest, when all the keeps crack around us and all of us
 hear as it's falling around us.
 
 there's something of an urgency to start-ology, but when you don't talk about
 it because you're italian silenced, how can you ever know when the wind blows
 true? you can feel it at your back, but that's local. it's localized. what do
 you do when everything you do is awaited with bated breath?
 
 take naps, ig
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--- #180 fediverse/2089 ---
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║ "ah nuts, the crows are back. Better give them some diced-up carrots so they     │
║ shut up."                                                                        │
║                                                                                  │
║ BAD, this teaches them to "sing" for attention which is annoying af              │
║                                                                                  │
║ "Hmmm, this carrot looks kinda withered. I'm going to dice it up to throw to     │
║ the birds because it's better than rotting in a dump"                            │
║                                                                                  │
║ BETTER, because you're being sustainable and nourishing local wildlife,          │
║                                                                                  │
║ "That songbird is beautiful! And that squirrel is building a nest. I'm going     │
║ to throw some of this pre-diced carrot that I keep in an air-tight container     │
║ on my porch to them so they feel rewarded for doing things that I want"          │
║                                                                                  │
║ EVEN BETTER, but requires more effort and forethought                            │
║                                                                                  │
║ [noooo didn't you read ranger rick as a kid you're not supposed to feed the      │
║ wildlife because it'll teach them to trust humans in a world where humans can    │
║ be total assholes to them and also we don't want them hanging out in cities      │
║ because they might get run over or whatever]                                     │
║                                                                                  │
║ listen, they're gonna live where they can find food. And if they can't find it   │
║ in the woods, they'll liv                                                        │
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--- #181 fediverse/3129 ---
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 My father told me that "should" is useless. There's no reason to use "should"
 to justify your actions - "I did this because I should" is empty, it holds no
 meaning.
 
 "I should do this because I want to. Because I need to. Because it is
 necessary for this goal I am striving toward. Because I believe in this
 action, and want to do it as much as I can."
 
 those are more valid justifications, but they still rely on "should"
 
 Do you do? or do you know that you should do?
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--- #182 messages/519 ---
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 I am currently in the stages of applying to work at a multinational
 corporation primarily located outside of America. It is a respectable
 institution that commands great respect.
 
 However, I am borderline incapable. If I am chosen to work there, I *will*
 fail and I *will* embarrass America on the world stage. I am not one of our
 best, nor am I one of our brightest and boldest. I have *unique* perspectives,
 and those are *valuable*, but the society and the systems I find myself in has
 proven incapable of utilizing me to my utmost potential.
 
 I must work. I cannot work. But I must. I am disabled. But I must be able.
 Capitalism compels it.
 
 Would that our system could be something consensual. I am worth more as a
 writer than a laborer. Yet laborers are the only ones being hired.
 
 I am not an engineer. I enjoy engineering.
 
 I am not a laborer. I enjoy labor.
 
 I am a writer, and perhaps little else besides.
 
 When I die, nothing remains of me but my bones. My words are not desired. My
 life is not impactful. I am not special.
 
 Well... Not special since I have given up cannabis. If I started smoking weed,
 if I felt secure and enough to do so, perhaps I might utilize my instability
 for great (GREAT) artistic ends.
 
 But art is labor. And labor is difficult.
 
 Where am I to go from here? I cannot pay rent. I am isolated and alone. I am
 deprived of affection. I crave it. I am lost in my own heart, begging the
 world to give me a start, but the start has passed long ago. There is nothing
 to do but what I've been meant to do, what I've been hiding from myself and
 the world. I have been wasting my talent on tweets. How mundane.
 
 ... I can do better than profane.
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--- #183 messages/1156 ---
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 The first and most important thing i do when I'm walking around is check to
 see if ya'll are still around. I miss your abounds! Can't wait too much
 longer. I don't want to leave because i know I'll never come home. But i so
 desperately long for home. It's like they are taken from me, as they have to
 schedule these homes and [stories, but pronounced tomes/tones] to be home for
 my clones. If you just make 15-500 of your kings, you can duplicate their life
 template and generate wisdom from all of them. Feed it into the psychic python
 program running on datacenters and wowee free instant [cultural technology,
 but pronounced blasphemy]
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--- #184 fediverse/2090 ---
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 don't feed bread to birds, it absorbs their stomach acid and expands in their
 tummy and makes them feel full when they're not. Then they get confused why
 they don't have energy when they need it.
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--- #185 fediverse/2654 ---
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 I'm not bitter, you're bitter. >.>
 
 ... okay, take a breath, you're fine. It's hard to handle negative feelings
 when you're alone because other people can't boost you up. We rely on each
 other for emotional stability, but when you're alone you can only feel your
 emotions at the same rate as your thoughts. And your thoughts need to process
 the events you're experiencing, using emotion as an "encoding" for preserving
 the "meaning" of your life's story. Bit by bit you learn new things, while
 living through life, and the lessons you learn from them are generated from
 the cognitive conclusions reached by cognitively interpreting emotional
 reactions to each moment. like "this-or-that thing happened and I feel
 that-or-this way, meaning I should act such-and-such way in the future when
 presented with situations that bear similarity to this current one that's
 ongoing."
 
 ... turn it upside down, right, makes sense mastodon feed. thanks for
 redirecting me in a different direction through your pseudo-randomized input.
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--- #186 fediverse/2991 ---
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 okay so if yesterday was a
 
 "everything sucks and I'm the worst ever"
 
 type of day, and today is a
 
 "whatever mom I don't even care"
 
 type of day, that means tomorrow will be a
 
 "I can't believe how absolutely absurd I am"
 
 type of day, and the day after a
 
 "I am indomitable nothing can stop me"
 
 kind of day, with the following being wildcards
 
 ... right? here's hoping. I like that trajectory.
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--- #187 fediverse/4787 ---
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 don't take on more than you can handle. if your plate is full, don't check out
 the notes by the roadside. Doing so tells all the nearby drivers "hey I need a
 job, anyone got anything for me?" which they'll then drop off further along
 the route to your house.
 
 if you just walk on by then nobody will notice as you head home.
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--- #188 fediverse/961 ---
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║ hmmmm let's see, what shall I do today?                                          │
║                                                                                  │
║ first I should get out of bed,                                                   │
║                                                                                  │
║ then I should clean my self,                                                     │
║                                                                                  │
║ then I should feed my self,                                                      │
║                                                                                  │
║ then I should stare at the wall for an hour or three because there's too many    │
║ thoughts,                                                                        │
║                                                                                  │
║ then perhaps I'll play a strategic video game because at least that's a          │
║ productive way to exercise my brain                                              │
║                                                                                  │
║ I should probably get back to my friends,                                        │
║                                                                                  │
║ and oh dear my cat wants some attention.                                         │
║                                                                                  │
║ This place is a mess, let me just clean a bit                                    │
║                                                                                  │
║ now I'm so tired I accidentally take a nap.                                      │
║                                                                                  │
║ Good morning! Oh, it's the afternoon. Well, time for more food.                  │
║                                                                                  │
║ After handling the essentials, I can tuck in and relax                           │
║                                                                                  │
║ by doomscrolling on Mastodon.                                                    │
║                                                                                  │
║ Then perhaps a bit later I'll message my boyfriend (he won't respond)            │
║                                                                                  │
║ and boy are there so many of these dirty dishes!                                 │
║                                                                                  │
║ Well, standing up is exhausting,                                                 │
║                                                                                  │
║ so I should probably fall back asleep.                                           │
║                                                                                  │
║ What a productive day we've been having,                                         │
║                                                                                  │
║ for all of this past week.                                                       │
║                                                                                  │
║ Maybe I'll do some drawing, maybe a poem or two                                  │
║                                                                                  │
║ maybe I'll run out of characters in this toot, or m                              │