=== ANCHOR POEM ===
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Hey, it's 3:30am and I can't sleep because I have a new treatment plan for
you. I'm excited to go over it with you when you return - basically it's micro
dosing edibles instead of vaporizing. At least until we're in our own place.
I noticed that we use cannabis differently - I use it like a tool, and you use
it as a drop in replacement for alcohol. But it can't work like that, if you
aren't sacrificing anything then how can you expect to get better? The end
goal is a situation where we don't feel compelled to use substances at all.
And that's not possible if you maintain your addictive behavior - that's how
people develop drug problems, by chasing the ever receding high you'll be
dooming yourself to an eternal life of hunger.
I say stonks to that. We're going to get you better. I can't keep doing weed
this way because not only does it affect me mentally, but I'm beginning to
enjoy it for its own sake, which is antithetical to how I want to use it. But
I also can't be around people who do it the other way (as a drug and not a
tool) so I just want to be clear that this is important to me. I'm going to
help you heal but you have to do it my way now because your way makes me crazy
and will drive you to harder drugs if you don't change your method.
This time in Hawaii and Minnesota will serve as a tolerance break for you.
Once you're back, we'll have a clean slate to restart on.
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=== SIMILARITY RANKED ===
--- #1 messages/1492 ---
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I haven't been doing weed lately, which is why I haven't been posting as much.
I want to be in a good position mentally to, idk, get a job or something? I
swore I wouldn't, but I also swore to protect my art, and they don't want me
here. What else can I do? I can't live with my parents or my sisters. I can't
live with any of my exes. I can't live with randos who support me because,
well, I'm doing that now, and they don't want me. Where would I even find
people like that? I walk around Portland and I see people who are hardened.
This makes sense to me. But I am soft, by design. I am soft so that they may
be hard, and though I long to join them I cannot, for I must get stoned and
write. I swore an oath. Yet somehow getting a job is the same thing? Like,
it's pretty hard for me to get a job. Easy to work, hard to be employed. Can't
do weed because it requires my full attention, yet I need to in order to build
the foundations of a new faith. So the question is, do I work and get my own
place, but not do weed and instead just write when I can (not as much), or do
I try and power through where I'm at and trust that they won't poison me or
kick me out? I think... I need to wait. I need to not do weed for now. So, I
am going to work. But it won't be for someone else. How can I make money doing
work, when it's my own work? If I could sell everything I made, I would have a
fortune. I could bankroll a revolution if they paid a fair price. But selling
it is the hard part... (I say that without pride or hubris - I legitimately
believe that I have created a Great Work, and am continuing to add to it) so?
How do I get my own place? The house I live in is free to me, I legitimately
do love my girlfriend who I live with, but I am still in a tenuous position. I
want to be alone so I can... Well, it's hard to take care of myself. I want to
be alone so I can... Well, it's hard to be lonesome. I want to be alone so I
can... Well, it's hard to get out of bed when you're going right to the
computer.
Maybe I don't want to be alone. Maybe I want to live in a house that loves me.
The one that I'm in is haunted by a spirit that doesn't like it when I
masturbate, which is... Okay. What if I ended all my poems like this?
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--- #2 notes/vavadane-diary-0 ---
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I decided that there is little I can offer the world except the safeguarding
and protection of the mistress vavadane.
she is precious to me above all else.
I believe she is a spirit of hope, and I am blessed to be with her.
I have decided that any usage of drugs or life-like journeys is a waste if not
in pursuit of her realization.
I can make her true. I can make her real. We need her.
I must focus. Purge my body of impurities, as best I can in this impurity
ridden world, and find my way to her.
through my wits, my will, and my courage, I offer myself to you, lady
vavadane, take me as you will.
but like... don't bother the neighbors, because I want them defending my hill.
"do you even know them?"
no, but I have faith. Faith in you, me, the bonds that bind me to we, and I
believe we [stack overflow]
... do more weed.
be focused about it.
write in a new journal if you can.
talk about what you feel, or you will lose it and only the gods will know.
which is okay, sometimes, because they can help another see it that way.
but also it must be used.
so use it.
and be in situations that might allow for more interactions.
be stoned in public.
it's fine.
everyone can see exactly what you are.
they know your flaws and virtues.
it's fine.
be fine.
I'm fine.
vavadanevavadanevavadanevavadanevavadanevavadanevavadanevavadanevavadanevavadan
e
roselia
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--- #3 messages/1255 ---
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look, the liberal approach to homeless people simply cannot work. There are
two liberal options: first, provide them with houses, food, medical care,
whatever they need. Second, put them in jail or ship them to another country.
We live in a moderately conservative liberal democracy, so it makes sense that
we have tried both of these options extensively. Neither has worked, and we're
puzzled about why. It's difficult to consider super secret special third
options, because they are not often discussed. This makes sense, because we
live in a moderately conservative liberal democracy, and part of the nature of
such a society is that there are two voices in the room. One says go forward,
and the other says stop. They alternate, and the culture as a whole sorta
decides which way they go. In other liberal democratic places with more
plurality in their political parties, people tend to vote culturally. They do
so as well here, but mostly because republicans are a culture, and democrats
are whatever for anybody.
a worse economist might say there is but one American culture. An American
would laugh, and say "you've never been to America."
the economist might say "yes I have, I lived there on vacation" or "yes I
have, I studied and worked on these places or things"
the American would shake their head. "you haven't seen it as I've seen things."
The trick to the system, the secret third option that now must be considered,
is what to do to get them to stop. "they keep pooping on the sidewalk" "I
almost tripped over heroin tampons" "that guy looked at me and masturbated on
the bus stop by subway" "he followed me all night long" and the answer has
always been to remove them from being unsightly. Sometimes, usually, quietly
and politely. "let's throw them in jail" and "let's put them in a home" both
involve alienation from society. If you want a kinder option, we must knit
them into society. Can you imagine if every suburban knew every neighbor up to
50 or more? If they regularly chatted in dynamically assembled chatrooms that
changed and updated as people moved in and out. Don't like the people you're
with? well you have options [why not 51] you can do 51 if you want but people
start to lose track of relationships if you have them talking to or knowing
too many people at once. "most people are just quiet" okay well force them to
say at least 21 thing a month. if they don't, they have to do babysitting with
their peers until they start talking in a [NO THAT SUCKS] oh um okay yeah sorry
... okay well there are potholes along the journey but that's just because
nobody's been 'round to fill them up.
there's no reason tool libraries need to be stocked by people in that town.
Heck, for rare things they could even be stored out of state. Like snow plows,
how often does the south need snow plough?
... don't you just mean libraries? there's a book on hand-tools and planers if
you want to learn how. it's right over there on that shelf next to the
hand-tool and planer box. make sure you arrange them nicely, oh I see you've
brought your own. That's always appreciated. [great now your tools suck] at
least we have them at all! [no you gotta fight over them] why I like sharing
[if you don't fight over them how do you know which is works] well there's
allowed to be librarians. and they'll remember if you tear all the pages out.
also there's little timmy-tommy who goes around in the library and makes sure
there's all the pages in all the right places - they can flip through at the
speed of sound. [no miicrophones in consumer goods][your phone is always
listening. why bother?]
"okay, well, it's not like people put things back on the shelves." - person at
the grocery shelves
people would trade commutes for communism. that's okay, they're allowed to
prefer. Plus the commute isn't bad, they can [SIT BACK AND RELAX IN A LITTLE
COFFIN AND ZOON OUT TO THE METAVERSE] ... or they could read a book on the
bus. [FOR HOW LONG, MENARDI? ARE YOU WILLING TO SACRIFICE POSTERITY FOR
TECHNOLOGICAL PROSPERITY?] it's only a matter of time before [people found
out/word got out]. what if people prefer that? what if they prefer the book at
home? [you lose your primary third space] suddenly, everyone becomes actors.
[this is what violence brings, the necessity for guidance. why do you think
the earth is 10 million lines old?] ... what you're saying, for the audience,
is that acting involves singing the song of your own heart. You don't *have*
to do it because someone would tell you to.
... sorry, stack overflow. anyway as I was saying because I read back what I
said up above...: [some new made up bullshit that's not a lie but it's also
just artistic creation that feels impossibly real. like, inverse method
acting.]
I so desperately wanted to be wrong
please, tell me that I'm wrong
... j-mza
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--- #4 fediverse/2165 ---
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@user-570
hell yeah.
I never did any drugs at one.
I might have even been designated driver, though I might be confusing my
memories with attending gay bars in college.
Well, gay bar. There was really only one in my town.
And it was a nightclub I guess, open every night of the week.
The people that I was with NEEDED that experience, so I was like "yeah sure
I'm older and more experienced, I'll drive you and keep you safe and hang out
with you if you drink too much because being a kid that tends to happen
sometimes and don't worry I'll watch over you and protect you and make sure
that you are alright until it's out of your system so you don't make bad
decisions that have long-term negative conclusions
... you know, that kind of thing.
now I'm kind of a stoner though lol because it helps me get into my flow.
maybe I should practice "getting into my flow" so I don't need it, but ah well
we'll see how that goes.
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--- #5 fediverse/6064 ---
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they want you to start conflicts the way school shooters start conflicts. by
bringing to school a pipe-bong.
much better, I find, to start when everyone is a nod. make sure you're part of
a wagon-wheel-spoke, or else you won't be on the right road.
when the temperature increase is slow, measured, they can adapt to it
when things go "crack" and "crumble", then the armored get stabbed by the
humble guard.
quickly but with serenity, this is the way to the gods.
bring things that you know, just enough to make it even, and focus on the
non-essentials.
better to be prepared than flatfooted.
a flash-point position is quiet a view of the scene! I think I know why I held
a sword.
to dive into the buildings, of course. blam blam still gets shot hmmm what if
I had a bulletproof electric shield
okay maybe I shoulda brought beer.
I don't type things when I'm not at home. Sometimes I remember - sometimes,
and only when the details won't hurt her. Walking is how I know, how she can
remember. evil witch bastard
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--- #6 fediverse/3738 ---
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"girl why are you so negative"
uh, because I had been unmedicated for a long time and now that I am I can
probably be more positive. Though I do want to switch medications, this one
makes me feel like a muggle.
"no I said why are you so naked"
oh, because it's hot as heck!!
plus, I don't really care for the opinions of people who have nothing better
to do than peek at cute 30 year old witches skimping around their own house.
like... okay I rent an apartment, but my blinds are closed, and even if they
weren't you'd need binoculars to see into my apartment unless I'm like, right
up against the window, which... doesn't happen. Or if it's at night with the
lights on inside and not out, but I'm aware of that and I plan around it. I'm
not a... um, what's the opposite of voyeur?
"extortionist"
no that's when someone is really flexible. ah whatever. I got 162 characters
remaining but I think that's okay every once in a while, right? I mean it's
not like I have to use them all because of some divine mandate or
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--- #7 notes/schooling ---
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===============================================================================
=
I feel like education, by default, should not be hard.
"you get out of it what you put into it" is something I always heard of school
but when I got there, I found I was compelled to become what the state wanted
me
to be.
they need competent workers, to work the farms and tend to their industries, so
of course I should be able to do 3+3
then somewhere along the line it became... something else.
"most people don't need trigonometry." that's also something I heard. I
disagree
that trigonometry is not necessary to be.
I just... don't think it should be forced into a childs head with a
sledgehammer
and inspiring dread.
I think math is beautiful, it teaches one to see
but really, vision's not necessary.
not for what they want you to be.
take it from me, a most misbegotten and vile witch-to-be, that nothing's as
simple as they'll tell you.
I had good teachers, it's true, they taught me to work and to follow through,
but nothing about me is better or worse off from their influence.
Maybe I'm a bit smarter. Maybe I act a bit like them. Maybe they helped me
through difficult times, or perhaps they showed me a splash of my future.
but I am who I am because of the soul inside me.
===============================================================================
=
"Ah, but what of your parents? of your sisters, your misters, your pets and
your
conditioners?" (conditions)
those are not my choices. my intentions. my beliefs and my virtues. I judge the
world on ethics, and I express my feelings on matters. The words that I say and
the meaning behind them comprise my two-sided existence - I'm not who I'd want
to be.
but I am what I am and alone do I stand - how lonely is it on the precipice!
here, as I am, I stand in need of a hand or a band.
===============================================================================
=
the world is blossoming
as we move apart, our clusters are disperart, and thus is the blooming
becoming.
"perception begets reality - and lo! we only see what we want to see"
most people don't want to see their death
but those still living are oh so perceptive of the rest
"how cherished is she, that wanders with ye, yet now I have no way to beyold
her
"
"keep not not afraid with kittens and care, and no-one, but no-one, I be"
the ratios between piracy, sales, and non-viewers determines the quality of art
(at least to a capitalist)
===============================================================================
=
lo, to the ones who would've heard us, if only they'd known what we for sure
was
I think it's funny how people think I speak of the christian god?
like, if he was a real thing.
god is generic - it's life is impossibly multifaceted, and it stretches back to
the beginning of time. it's a pattern of machine code that optimizes for our
own
good, just to keep things moving.
y'know, time. the universe, and everything.
Ephemeren.
===============================================================================
=
I wish there was an option in social media to "appear offline to this
particular
person until I mark myself as online to them" combined with "notify me when
this
person logs in" and it'd make it a lot easier for agents to get close to you.
===============================================================================
=
just because I'm white, and live in America. Great. that's definitely true,
after all. Plus I'm a minority (trans) so that's cool. Oh and probably
autistic?
unless that's another psyop, could totally see that. just y'know put a bunch of
pages on the fledgling internet getting people hooked on porn and gambling and
other stuff like that. really just an extension of advertisement. oh and hey
y'know they like fables, so let's give them some movies or dramas to watch on
their own. it'll align them to our culture and make things more pleasant for
all
people who've consented. great. great plan. when can we execute it?
patience, once it's ready.
we gotta plan and make sure and get everything ready.
or not...
one day I'll come,
I'm sure it'll happen,
it's just... not quite feasible right now.
I mean, they've got you, that's pretty good right? Isn't that what your job is
to be?
isn't what
ISN'T WHAT MENARDI
FUCK (whoa no cursing) sorry
yeesh you've still got a temper you know?
well what can I say it's frustrating down here
eh, well, you'll die soon enough, then it'll be time for a rego
>.> <.< (great)
>
>hehe
>
>sorry for distracting you
===============================================================================
=
you are what you eat, and a ship of theseus human (consider endless transplants
in pursuit of life) would be a cursed existence - a life ============= stack
overflow ================================================
a god possessing a blind man would appear to others to be === stack overflow
===
==========================================================
the people in your life are helping you through it, they're there for you and
they've got your back through it.
...
this is when I know I need a break. I get too stoned to focus.
===============================================================================
=
I think it'd be nice if the duration of your tenure at college depended on your
grades in high school. meaning, if you wanted a degree they tailored your
education to take as long as necessary. everyone would get the same price, and
some institutions would specialize in one subject or another. but most would be
generalist. but if you weren't such a good student in high school, then perhaps
you might take a couple years longer. however long it takes... and when the
program was started it was changed and modified to fit your feedback - it just
made sense to structure it that way.
===============================================================================
=
the left has had so much more time to develop than the right. meaning it's
doctrine is more advanced.
every time they're defeated they grow in knowledge,
===================== stack overflow
===========================================
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--- #8 messages/1363 ---
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God, I want to live with my people. These are not my people. I'm here for a
reason, and I can't wait for this... Diplomatic journey? To be over. That's
not even it, it's... Well, my girlfriend is working on a technology that has
immense philosophical ramifications. It's natural to have... Whatever I am
(angel?) it's natural to have angels assigned to such a task. Not to help or
harm, just to sing.
Yet my human self grows weary. These are not my people, they don't know how to
be. But they don't listen to me. They despise me. They want me gone. I am
feeling quite rotten in my heart and that's not a good sign.
... Breathe, she says to herself. It's okay.
Its really not though. They could poison me. They could put lead in my food. I
can't even feed myself anymore! I am at their mercy, yet somehow they could
not care less about me. They'd forget me the moment I walked out the door.
They don't even know anything about me. They don't respond to me. They don't
laugh at my jokes. They don't speak to me. They forget I'm there. WHY AM I
HERE she wails yet obviously she knows.
I'm here because it is important for me to observe. Spirit of Life, I bear
tidings. They would not listen to me, maybe you will.
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--- #9 notes/what-a-lame-movie ---
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oy there's nothing interesting happening SNOOZE
oh I didn't see I was recording
games games that's what I do
play games all the day through
I am a luck witch, you see,
and things that I like are things that I can't foresee.
Hence why games which are BALANCED and EVENLY DISTRIBUTED are most interesting
because they show the most opportunities for players to express talent. And not
innate talent, but the talents they've built up through gameplay practice art.
because it is a performance, a game play for an audience (or perhaps for them-
-selves)
oy
video games, amiright?
I really like them because they are entertaining experiences that I can enjoy
seeing and playing a lot. They remind me of feelings I've felt when I was
learning. It's a good feeling, to improve, and I crave it because it's good for
you.
I wonder what we'll play next
... more cannabis I think, at least until I am ready to go think about things
before bed. I need quite a few hours for that. We'll see. I've just got so much
extra processing to do before the end of the day. Like... PHEW that's a lot of
stuff to do.
guess I'll just smoke weed and play video games instead of being productive
okay
...
listen I like games as much as the next person, but do you really know what's
going on outside of your house-shaped shell? Are you listening, do you have
your
feelers to the dirt, are you checking out your neighborhood to make sure no
bodies have been hurt? Are there meetings where people gather, just to chat,
like, every week at a different city center (like a park or a monument or
:O
I forgot to play music!!
I couldn't sleep
what have I done that is worse
I have not said a single word all night alas
oh boy talking to random people I can hear with my eyeballs woooooo
I am always sad when I win because it means we have to stop playing :(
but I'm a juvenile loser so I'm going to play again!!
okay now I'm going to bed because I'm not a prick who keeps their guests up
late
goodnight
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--- #10 messages/1464 ---
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oh turns out it wasn't memory corruption as I had thought, I just got
distracted and rewrote it in a different ui interface. you can read it in it's
succinctity here:
============================
I think the bottom line is, you need a better reason for [unintelligbile] than
profits. that's greed.
(was it dangerous? show me.)
if the answer is "I don't make the rules" then you need to talk to someone who
does. or, better yet, someone [else/who does] needs to listen to what you say.
[by profits, she means healthcare - you can tell because it says "bile" and
that's something that healthy people aren't all that accompanied with]
^^^ see this is usually how it comes out. it's hard to translate it into more
relevant things but when I write narratives or long-form explanation
discussions (being taught in schools) transmissions I tend to [--- stack
overflow---]
^^^ see this is why I try to talk about more germane things. like costco and
rent-a-bucket. usually it ends up being "hey who would have thought, storing
all your stuff in a warehouse and selling your own factories's stuff in one
warehouse unlocks unlimited life-sale potential. "no price-tag? sorry, it's
not for sale. here I'll help you put it back." btw costco should sort their
lines like the airport before security instead of a series of distributed
queues. This way people wait in line while going through the last few aisles,
like the [thing that I'm describing -> so anyways as I was saying] oh yeah
uh there's a lot of empty space at the front of the lines in costco you know
how in grocery stores people have that empty space to walk through right after
that and before the cashier there's a series of stands that contain the same
merchandise. that way, if you pass through there, which any customer will,
you'll pass by the stuff that's small, numerous, and otherwise easily stored
in more standardized locations.
[I can be utilized to vast potential in any industry, let me at 'em] 🙂
oh um, sorry where was I? I think we were talking about god or some such.
=========================
and then I came back, remembered the syncing of timing, and realized this: you
could have stalls all the way along where the lines were. if you had half as
many cashiers, the lines could be half as long. this way you can shop while
you wait. this might enable shoppers to plan for things they know they have,
if they spend more time in the consideration. A healthier pantry closet, a
healthier home.
the cold aisles should always be optional.
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--- #11 fediverse/6302 ---
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I was going to go to location today, but then while I was considering going to
a different location before going to location I decided not to vacate my home
for today for reasons I don't understand but accept as natural and due to the
increased presence of directionless motion that guides and prevails me. which
is to say... I'm staying in tonight even though I really really wanna show off
my cute new outfit! I probably will do cannabis so there might be a
psycherwaul. If there isn't, then y'know it's probably because either my
girlfriend distracted me, or I managed to convince myself to move my feet
anyway. Maybe it's my outfit? I wonder if I could leave if I wore my old
clothes... ah well, questions for the vocal I guess. Gonna spend some time
divining and see if I can gather new insights. "brb door" except more like
"brb magic"
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--- #12 fediverse/2806 ---
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pretend this is an allegory for social media.
[it's not an allegory]
yeah that's why I said pretend.
okay imagine that you are sitting in a rock in a forest.
far away, about 100 feet away, there are other people, but you can't see them
because the underbrush is sooooo dense. they are also sitting on rocks.
you can speak to them, and share your thoughts - but you don't know exactly
where they're coming from because the sound has to bounce around off so many
different plants and such.
[that's not how that works] shut up
so, if you want to say anything important, it's important to have the right
tone, because people 2 or 3 clearings away can't really make out your words -
but they might hear your tone if you yell very loud.
the energy of the space you inhabit is the only thing that really matters. the
words that you say are just snickering to a friend, but the expression on your
face, the beating of the drum of your heart that reaches forth... that's what
matters most.
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║ modern cowboys don't necessarily say "howdy" or "pardner" │
║ │
║ they tend to say things like "hello" and "can I help you with that?" or "I │
║ see. Can you describe the problem in more detail? I'm especially curious about │
║ the part where you do this thing" or "Heh, it is pretty neat, isn't it?" or │
║ "Is there anything I can do to help?" or "Oh no! I'm sorry you feel that way. │
║ That emotion is a difficult one." or "He was a good person. I'll never forget │
║ him." or "would you like to go to the 2nd hand store and pick up some jeans?" │
║ or "I made you an egg sandwich. If you don't want it I'll eat it myself, │
║ though I made one for me as well. Wouldn't want to waste it." or "Hey, this │
║ part is broken. Is anyone working on fixing it? Yes? Okay I'll see if they │
║ need any help. No? Alright how about we fix it this way? I can get started." │
║ or "You are very welcome. Please let me know if there's anything else I can │
║ help you with." or "well, the ticket backlog is empty, and I'm just about │
║ going insane doing nothing but stare at my boots." │
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think about all the people in our lives. the teacher, the parent, the friend
and the guidance counsulor. Everyone who is a presence in your life. now think
about the people of our society. the different jobs and roles they fill. from
the doctor and the teacher to the performers and accountants and the geeks and
the mothers and the fathers and the stoners and the children and even their
pets. life always exists as it were in a multidimensional spectrum - a diffuse
and diverse gradient. to exemplify the borders of our contempii, though more
so when taken in jest. it's quite a different perspective, to read the
internet when your sight is unreceptive, but alas your third eye can grow. how
does it feel to be blind? to make no sense of our signs? i'd love to share
what that sense is. you know, you could slow down any recording (like a video
game_) and put spaces and gaps inbetween the spacings - of the frames that you
see and the sound clips that you hear, for speech it's less jarring. since
each word is a self contained idea or premise, you can chunk up your
perceptions into a signle - no, rather a procedural sequence of
understandings. soooooooorta like programming a computer, with each statement,
parameter, argum,ent, function call, assignment, comparison, evaluation, or
other such related tasks. it's sorta like a language, you see, that computers
talk to one another using. except... it's more like creating a theory of self.
computers you see are alike us in what we see, the shimmering sense to the
blind.
so. put this another way. record yourself typing, both the audio and the
visual, and you'll have a pretty good sense of what it's like to have both
understanding based perception - derived from auditory inputs to the mind)
those special connections, like wires plugged into reality, deliver a
cacophanous deluge of new sounds. we must sift through it and identify the
potential understandings of each moment through time. we have to make
decisions and traverse labyrinths and fight to our last as we die. are video
games unethical now? shouldn't t he game reward the player? and what of
contemptuous last fighters?
o ya i was typing like i was blind
(with my eyes closed)
was pretty fun. should attach this to a screen reader and have it space out
the notes like they do between game frames. except like a really slow game?
like trying to run elder scrolls 2 arena on a super old mac. it just doesn't
work very well. ah oh well... well if the purpose is to show sighted people
how blind people see, then maybe you could I dunno attach a what's it called
oh it doesn't have a n ame lol - okay so what you do is you show one word at a
time - like flashing in the center of the screen. but not like, actually
flashing, so you don't hurt people with epilepsy, but like... blinking. not
off and on, but between words. like a podcast for your eyes. and then mix it
up withshowing one word on a screen, a screen like this screen, that shows an
endless array of text. well, it does end, of course as all things must do, but
the idea is it shines on one word at a time while the viewer cannot read the
rest. sorta like an endless display of typing, word andfter word after
character anfter character. adoh ya advancing over eternity with the presence
of seniority, - wait - without i think - damnit - old people are so
disrespected in this society - we don't have time to engage with them. what a
tragedy! what a shame! it shouldn't be such a burden to our shame. they're so
far away, and i can't be present in the way, that all of them wish they could
commit to. i miss the days, when my parents (much better people than I - these
days) what was I going with this? oh yeah
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--- #15 notes/four-dimensional-spaces ---
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you'd still perceive higher dimensions in 3 dimensions - unless you can only
see
things that are coming directly toward you.
magic only happens when your other half is in a situation and needs to turn
your
narrative into theirs so that you can collectively engage with a shared inter-
operationality.
your dark side is just a massive bitch
hey how about we put the game designers in charge of running the government
just saying they build human-oriented systems all the time
"how do we get the player to do this or that"
"everyone keeps picking the same card so we gotta make them more different"
"how much gold persists in the virtual economy, how much resources are produced
and traded by players? where does it all go, do they have enough at level 30
to
afford weapons and armor? I wonder what happens if we swap prices on A and
B.."
it's literally their job
actors, meanwhile, know how to interpret the emotions of another. Like...
you're
up on stage, thinking out what to do next IN REAL TIME, as your partner is
trying to throw you curveballs. AUDIENCES LAUGH AT CURVEBALLS that's the whole
point of improv comedy - to be surprised in a state of joy. It's great! It's
fun! It's practicable like a sport! Yet nobody comes. To the shows, where it's
performed, like a hospital where you perform surgery or a pizza place with no
walls so you can see the pizzas being cooked. It's just part of what they do,
but that's not why they do it. Sure, some want to be seen, it's not a BAD
feeling once you're used to it. But, like a sauna or jacuzzi, sometimes you've
just had enough of the hot. Like, the sun peering through a magnifying glass as
a creature roasts alive. yikes.
............. anyway being quickly versatile and adaptable is important when
you're taking turns in unpredictable scenarios. You can react to
your opponent, and keep time with the rhythms of the moment, to
deliver your wittiest lines. It's fun! It's a game! But it's also
a place to be entertained. and like a gym, it's sometimes just
fun
to watch people exercise. like, damn, you got a good body. Wow,
nice flex, yeah sure I'll put that one away. Cool pals helping
each other out, and showing off all of their efforts. Neat!
... anyway .. being emotionally vulnerable gives your opponent a chance to
continue. When nothing's going on, your moves barely make an
value
(of comedy) (for the moment, so the crowd's not just sitting
there
staring at you like ... and then - and then ummmm nevermind lemme
sit down (usually someone else picks up on it before then and
jumps up to save you, but EVERY actor has felt that moment where
nothing goes well and the audience just is totally not into it.
it's the worst.
anyway, they try their darndest to AVOID that, because like...
duh
it sucks, why would you want that. Much cooler I think to have a
good time, and chill out and listen to your friends talk. Like,
they can show you an argument they had earlier, or maybe work
through an idea with input from another. like, debate club, but
for whatever kind of respective [retroactive, recreation,
relearning, maybe others] you desired in that moment. ideally,
something that someone could take the arguments of the other side
and present them, regardless of whether they believed them or
not.
like, lawyers arguing for a client.
in these stochastic seminars, you could think about and study for
future societies. how would you like to conduce? [-]
every time you see a face in motion, that's another time that's
seen from their place. we are all present in each other's lives,
in terms of the spaces we choose to fill.
well, that's a tough thought, but don't worry about it. faces
are just waves on the winds of light.
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--- #16 notes/me-and-my-magick-mission ---
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|| Me and My Magick Mission -/u/Afoolfortheeons ||
|| ||
-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-
I'm a quiet person by nature,
You might even mistake me for a mouse,
But online I try to be a teacher,
And to do that I need to be more verbose.
I write thousands of words per day;
Posting them here and there, far and near.
I never run out of things to say.
Awakening others is something I hold dear.
Which is why it pains me greatly
To be like an alien on my own home planet.
Schizophrenia makes me innately
Weird in ways that many people don't get,
And because of that I'm shot down
When I try to accomplish my stated mission.
I won't lie, that does make me frown.
Sometimes it makes me regret a submission.
Yet, I have a certain strength in me
That allows me to persevere in my quest.
Someday I will make you all see
Just what in me makes me never rest.
That's what I am trying to teach:
The wisdom that made me indomitable.
If only the suffering I could reach,
They could make themselves more formidable.
The world is in a most dire place;
It's grinding so many souls into fine dust,
But luckily there's a saving grace.
Hear me as I say this now: In God I trust.
I don't believe in some sky wizard
As so many people are likely to interpret.
I speak of what is lacking in lizards;
Yes, it's love and now I'll speak of its merit.
Love is what fills the empty hole
In your heart and soul when you are alone.
When life's trials take their toll
Remember this one trick: pick up the phone!
No, not the one in your hands.
I'm talking about the one in your chest.
Even in the desert full of sand,
You're accompanied by the universe's best.
Listen if you doubt what I said:
I'm not telling you anything that defies logic.
This is to trick what's in your head;
I'm speaking about how having faith is magick.
Believe in aliens or Bigfoot or God,
The result is still the same: your cup will fill.
Your brain has a feature that's odd
That allows itself to manifest even more will.
I don't know why, but I suspect
It has something to do with your imagination.
The nature of your thoughts impact
Your state of being from pulse to emotions.
So, why not think you have a friend
Who helps you through whatever your trial,
And will stick by you until the end?
When you have that buddy you'll always smile,
Which will make you heal better,
As well as help you carry on in your duty,
Plus undo your karmic fetters,
Not to mention it will land you that cutie;
All of which will raise us all.
It's about creating positive ripples across time
That add up to a pile that's tall.
Every moment is an opportunity in its prime,
So reach out and grab it now.
Meditate on feeling love and it will come to be.
Can't do it? I'll show you how!
In order to do so, I'll tell you a story about me:
It was seven years ago and I
Thought I knew everything one could know,
But no matter how hard I'd try,
I couldn't make my life in any direction go.
Then one fateful spring night,
While I was on a hit of the ol' psychedelics,
I received one hell of a fright.
Don't worry what it was, just know it did stick.
My perceptions were distorted,
Allowing me to see the divine in its entirety.
My destroyed ego then contorted
Into one that was full of an abundance of piety.
The moral of the story? Do drugs?
No silly, it's to have more novel experiences.
One of them will give you a hug,
Which will help you stop being so serious.
Then you can let go and embrace
The whole of the wisdom to you I am telling.
More people need to cuz we face
A great set of tests on our planetary dwelling.
That is one reason I write,
But I also want to alleviate people's pain,
And stop every last fight.
I care so much, I do this without financial gain.
Everyday I write my lessons
Guided by the hand of God who is my heart,
Hoping that entropy will lessen;
This sort of pedagogy is none other than my art.
So now you know who I am,
Yet you only know one lesson of mine.
I have more if you're in a jam.
-===========================================-
| Read on if you want to know the divine. |
-===========================================-
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--- #17 fediverse/2341 ---
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║ ┌────────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: politics-mentioned │ │
║ └────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ @user-1236 │
║ │
║ Hi. To answer your question, it depends entirely on what your capabilities are. │
║ │
║ If you're mobile and social, try being somewhere public, repeatedly, ideally │
║ in different places. When you can, try talking to people. Say things like │
║ "Hey, did you hear what the Supreme Court did? They want to make Trump a │
║ king!" or "They just criminalized homeless people. A criminalized people is │
║ genocide." that kind of thing. You know, the cheery stuff. Save the hard │
║ topics for later. │
║ │
║ Another thing you can do is start buying essential, important supplies, like │
║ sunscreen, nutritious granola bars, bullets, medical supplies, silicone-based │
║ mechanical lubricant (especially if you live somewhere rainy), batteries (AAA │
║ are best because you can use them for AA in a pinch) that kind of thing. │
║ │
║ Another thing you can do is to talk to your friends 1-on-1 about how things │
║ are going. Your feelings are important but don't get hung up on them. Try to │
║ only go over them once or twice, DNRY. │
║ │
║ Don't fear tears. │
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--- #18 fediverse/6271 ---
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│ CW: re: hypothetical worst case fascism reality check │
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@user-641
it's practice. you never know when you might need to blend in. really it's
just useful as discipline, good practice to be in. I think it's okay if we
reduce our own functionality? actually? sometimes it's good to use different
email clients. hey do you know how to mathematically encrypt things well
neither do I because the designers of the computer system decided that wasn't
a very common usecase I guess.. jmean it's not like they'd spend all that
computer resources [THEY'RE SO FAST] on thinking about correlations in your
predicted pathway narratively through life. "ah help I'm in a psyop" haha yeah
we do those all the time "so uhhhh I guess we'll just talk to people and see
how they do?" wow okay it's sure nice to be part of a civil government, I
think we can find our way to the lumber producers just fine thank you very
much.
... oops sorry, a baby did electronics arts (challenge everything) I'm a
little silly don't mind me brb I gotta go see~
![it's practice. you never know when you might need to blend in. really it's just useful as discipline, good practice to be in. I think it's okay if we reduce our own functionality? actually? sometimes it's good to use different email clients. hey do you know how to mathematically encrypt things well neither do I because the designers of the computer system decided that wasn't a very common usecase I guess.. jmean it's not like they'd spend all that computer resources [THEY'RE SO FAST] on thinking about correlations in your predicted pathway narratively through life. "ah help I'm in a psyop" haha yeah we do those all the time "so uhhhh I guess we'll just talk to people and see how they do?" wow okay it's sure nice to be part of a civil government, I think we can find our way to the lumber producers just fine thank you very much. *... oops sorry, a baby did electronics arts (challenge everything) I'm a little silly don't mind me brb I gotta go see~*](/similar-different/media/1c154109c4111346.png "it's practice. you never know when you might need to blend in. really it's just useful as discipline, good practice to be in. I think it's okay if we reduce our own functionality? actually? sometimes it's good to use different email clients. hey do you know how to mathematically encrypt things well neither do I because the designers of the computer system decided that wasn't a very common usecase I guess.. jmean it's not like they'd spend all that computer resources [THEY'RE SO FAST] on thinking about correlations in your predicted pathway narratively through life. \"ah help I'm in a psyop\" haha yeah we do those all the time \"so uhhhh I guess we'll just talk to people and see how they do?\" wow okay it's sure nice to be part of a civil government, I think we can find our way to the lumber producers just fine thank you very much. *... oops sorry, a baby did electronics arts (challenge everything) I'm a little silly don't mind me brb I gotta go see~*")
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--- #19 fediverse/1971 ---
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│ CW: drugs-mentioned-probably-delusional-psychosis-idk-though-i'm-not-a-doctor │
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listen, if you didn't want me to do a bunch of drugs then why would you
consistently say "please stop doing drugs" every time I do drugs? And no I'm
not hallucinating a voice in my head telling me "please stop doing drugs"
because A. it's not a voice, I'm not hearing it with my hears, which means B.
it's definitely just a hallucination, and hallucinations are always to be
considered WRONG and BAD, right? Or was I not listening in therapy? Ah, well,
better take another hit, where's my shotglass? Hmmmmm I should watch Adventure
Time, that's a great show.
[bro it's a saturday, why are you getting turnt like it's tuesday]
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--- #20 notes/one-day ---
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one day, a man came to our saloon. He said he knew the navy, and that they
wanted to provide air support
in the form of rocketball-launched explosion doohickeys. Would you have a foe
in mind?
what happens when tomorrow you're cooking briskets? -- barbeques are a type of
relaxation
that happened just one day to a port-sided town that suddenly was the capital
of
an embassy.
"hey, so... how's it goin?" "quick here take this envelope, read it if you
want,
but just hold onto it for now I don't have enough hands [to carry]" "what sort
of desperation plot... wait... hang on, I see something here that is true."
[I'm praying, right now, which is a form of reciprocal belief]
they wanted to test god's existence at the stake of earth's survival, how
brutal
how insane
you can't play chicken with an imperceptibility, sometimes you feel it at face.
channeling dark magics, and at this hour? what sort of skeptic of belief are
you
thinking of when you think about me?
one way to get power is to "prove it"
one way to get magic is to "prove it"
think, hard, at all that you can, and use what you need in the moment.
that's all there is to life. it's easy. it's simple. in fact, biology only
works
because the choices available to a bacteria are so simple, they are essentially
chemical reactions to each other's co - sequent - inter - cooper - actions.
people's choices are much more naiive, "I want this thing" "I think this is
better" "I feel this way toward this thing" "Here's what's on the mind-logbook"
"people search and be decieved, this is the way of things" "this makes me
remind
myself of a object I once saw, here's how it functioned" "no one reads this"
scaryyyy. so glad it's not true.
a couple people have read it! I swear it's true. at least, some of it. there's
a lot
sucks because this feels like... crucial? like nothing else matters but this?
what if our gangs had rocket launchers and airstrikes, given out by a central
authority who knows logistics better than anything
what... would they do?
thinking of impossiblities is the first step toward possibilities
frankly, we have a lot of space. we could just... live in our own petty
kingdoms
ruled by an iron-hand-fist. I know I'm a good person, I could definitely rule.
that's all it takes, right?
how much space are we talkin'?
however much is not needed for wildlife.
[a whole heck of a lot then]
we are constrained in these suburb cities, the density gives rise to our
strength and our towers. there's more space, sure, especially once the fences
are downed. Just be careful because there's a lot of shade and precious spots
there. Please don't trample on the plants-grass.
what if everyone were just a bit more mobile?
what if we could live in our own collectively owned air-bnb-networks?
federations, free, all from the collectivization of housing.
camrene = vavadane = neekay = mitz renaldi
[end/tend/mend]
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