=== ANCHOR POEM ===
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 I was going to go to location today, but then while I was considering going to
 a different location before going to location I decided not to vacate my home
 for today for reasons I don't understand but accept as natural and due to the
 increased presence of directionless motion that guides and prevails me. which
 is to say... I'm staying in tonight even though I really really wanna show off
 my cute new outfit! I probably will do cannabis so there might be a
 psycherwaul. If there isn't, then y'know it's probably because either my
 girlfriend distracted me, or I managed to convince myself to move my feet
 anyway. Maybe it's my outfit? I wonder if I could leave if I wore my old
 clothes... ah well, questions for the vocal I guess. Gonna spend some time
 divining and see if I can gather new insights. "brb door" except more like
 "brb magic"
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=== SIMILARITY RANKED ===

--- #1 fediverse/4654 ---
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 ┌────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cannabis-and-other-drugs-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────────────────────┘


 gonna quit drugs for a bit, gotta recover from a recent haste spell that I
 cast. Probably a bit earlier than intended I should add. Next time I'll
 definitely say "keep this in your back pocket" instead of "hey here's a haste
 spell for no reason at all" like what the heck were you even thinking, powers
 that be?? [that guide me??]
 
 who has power over you? If someone bears responsibility but not fault for a
 mental illness, then surely those who are set to a task bear responsibility
 for it's completion if not for it's ideation. Ah, who can say, maybe me from a
 year ago might have some thoughts but I sorta ground them into the dirt until
 I couldn't walk.
 
 [girl what are you even talking about go to sleep] yeah yeah okay
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--- #2 messages/1492 ---
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 I haven't been doing weed lately, which is why I haven't been posting as much.
 I want to be in a good position mentally to, idk, get a job or something? I
 swore I wouldn't, but I also swore to protect my art, and they don't want me
 here. What else can I do? I can't live with my parents or my sisters. I can't
 live with any of my exes. I can't live with randos who support me because,
 well, I'm doing that now, and they don't want me. Where would I even find
 people like that? I walk around Portland and I see people who are hardened.
 This makes sense to me. But I am soft, by design. I am soft so that they may
 be hard, and though I long to join them I cannot, for I must get stoned and
 write. I swore an oath. Yet somehow getting a job is the same thing? Like,
 it's pretty hard for me to get a job. Easy to work, hard to be employed. Can't
 do weed because it requires my full attention, yet I need to in order to build
 the foundations of a new faith. So the question is, do I work and get my own
 place, but not do weed and instead just write when I can (not as much), or do
 I try and power through where I'm at and trust that they won't poison me or
 kick me out? I think... I need to wait. I need to not do weed for now. So, I
 am going to work. But it won't be for someone else. How can I make money doing
 work, when it's my own work? If I could sell everything I made, I would have a
 fortune. I could bankroll a revolution if they paid a fair price. But selling
 it is the hard part... (I say that without pride or hubris - I legitimately
 believe that I have created a Great Work, and am continuing to add to it) so?
 How do I get my own place? The house I live in is free to me, I legitimately
 do love my girlfriend who I live with, but I am still in a tenuous position. I
 want to be alone so I can... Well, it's hard to take care of myself. I want to
 be alone so I can... Well, it's hard to be lonesome. I want to be alone so I
 can... Well, it's hard to get out of bed when you're going right to the
 computer.
 
 Maybe I don't want to be alone. Maybe I want to live in a house that loves me.
 The one that I'm in is haunted by a spirit that doesn't like it when I
 masturbate, which is... Okay. What if I ended all my poems like this?
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--- #3 fediverse/1157 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: personal-woe     │
 └──────────────────────┘


 oh no, apparently I'm gonna be forced to drop out of university again in 9
 days unless I do half a course and a final exam before then.
 
 Tell me again why I spent the last 6 months doing nothing? Oh yeah the mental
 illness, that's it. Yeesh you're such a drama queen, just do your work and
 you'll be good.
 
 what's that? intrusive thoughts time? Don't you mean "nap until they go away"
 time? oh yeah that's probably at least part of the problem with the whole
 "dropping out" thing.
 
 If only I didn't have the same reaction to "doing things I don't want to do"
 that most people have to "touching hot stoves", that'd be nice.
 
 my mother's voice ripples across space and time "you're such a smart boy, if
 you just apply yourself you can do anything! You can do anything you put your
 mind to. I believe in you and I love you." thanks mom
 
 brrrrr it's so cold here. wish I could afford to run the heater. - actually no
 I don't because it's not solar powered and I refuse to use fossil fuels if I
 have blankets >.>
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--- #4 fediverse/3738 ---
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 "girl why are you so negative"
 
 uh, because I had been unmedicated for a long time and now that I am I can
 probably be more positive. Though I do want to switch medications, this one
 makes me feel like a muggle.
 
 "no I said why are you so naked"
 
 oh, because it's hot as heck!!
 
 plus, I don't really care for the opinions of people who have nothing better
 to do than peek at cute 30 year old witches skimping around their own house.
 like... okay I rent an apartment, but my blinds are closed, and even if they
 weren't you'd need binoculars to see into my apartment unless I'm like, right
 up against the window, which... doesn't happen. Or if it's at night with the
 lights on inside and not out, but I'm aware of that and I plan around it. I'm
 not a... um, what's the opposite of voyeur?
 
 "extortionist"
 
 no that's when someone is really flexible. ah whatever. I got 162 characters
 remaining but I think that's okay every once in a while, right? I mean it's
 not like I have to use them all because of some divine mandate or
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--- #5 fediverse/1431 ---
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 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: spirituality-generic-kooky-dookerie-psychosis-schizophrenia-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 if you haven't spend hours wondering if you're god, the antichrist, a
 cognitohazard, the future president of the world, a target of aliens / the
 CIA, or any other number of common delusions... then congratulations you're
 probably not crazy
 
 but odds are you aren't magic, either.
 
 ... ehhhh "wonder" is a strong word, more like "know, trust, and believe"
 
 much better to be a witch I believe, someone with the "teehee" kind of magic
 than someone compelled to destroy humanity through the reactions of others to
 the actions of the self that are impossible to resist or fully control.
 
 BRB I'm going to leave my apartment to get groceries, leaving my door unlocked
 because that's what I always do, surely it'll be empty when I return. Surely.
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--- #6 fediverse/5951 ---
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 "uh-oh, she's"
 
 magic is easy. all you have to do is earnestly attempt to have a conversation
 with whoever will listen. I like to sit on my bed and listen, by earnestly
 allowing my thoughts to be guided by the wind.
 
 open up your mind, release yourself from your senses, and who knows - maybe
 someone will adjust your thinking flows. (thought patterns)
 
 [all you gotta do is make the black market the regular market and suddenly
 everything just flows]
 
 huh weird idk where that came from, anyway
 
 magic is easy, just represent yourself earnestly as you would if you were
 presenting in court
 
 you don't need witnesses... just argue your point without any lies and people
 will generally believe you.
 
 "yeah... sure thing buddy, we know how you pronounce "
 
 omg I'm scary because I don't shower, I wear diapers, and I'm always often
 smoking cannabis
 
 "awww, some people wanted mao"
 
 meow
 
 what if... they could do that? insert magical genie witch whoa cute yeah I
 believe you, sure
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--- #7 fediverse/1195 ---
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 @user-883 
 
 alas, I live in Portland Oregon, but perhaps I might be moving to Denver in
 the near future. We shall see, depends on if my boyfriend breaks up with me
 for being neurotic lmao - if so then we should totally hang out
 
 I'm into chatting. I don't like IRC very much because it doesn't save history,
 and while I could save it manually it feels like a disservice to the service
 to utilize it in a way that it wasn't intended. And I want to save every
 conversation I have (potentially) so that some day the god-like humans of the
 future might clone me to understand my wisdom or something. Idk. See attached
 picture, I'm kinda crazy:

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--- #8 messages/18 ---
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 Hey, it's 3:30am and I can't sleep because I have a new treatment plan for
 you. I'm excited to go over it with you when you return - basically it's micro
 dosing edibles instead of vaporizing. At least until we're in our own place.
 
 I noticed that we use cannabis differently - I use it like a tool, and you use
 it as a drop in replacement for alcohol. But it can't work like that, if you
 aren't sacrificing anything then how can you expect to get better? The end
 goal is a situation where we don't feel compelled to use substances at all.
 And that's not possible if you maintain your addictive behavior - that's how
 people develop drug problems, by chasing the ever receding high you'll be
 dooming yourself to an eternal life of hunger.
 
 I say stonks to that. We're going to get you better. I can't keep doing weed
 this way because not only does it affect me mentally, but I'm beginning to
 enjoy it for its own sake, which is antithetical to how I want to use it. But
 I also can't be around people who do it the other way (as a drug and not a
 tool) so I just want to be clear that this is important to me. I'm going to
 help you heal but you have to do it my way now because your way makes me crazy
 and will drive you to harder drugs if you don't change your method.
 
 This time in Hawaii and Minnesota will serve as a tolerance break for you.
 Once you're back, we'll have a clean slate to restart on.
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--- #9 fediverse/1317 ---
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║ ... if I don't do this deadline by tomorrow they'll kick me out of school.       │
║ again.                                                                           │
║                                                                                  │
║ how am I going to be a programmer without a degree? feels useless to be me.      │
║ wish I could code my own horoscope >.>                                           │
║                                                                                  │
║ o wait dummy that's called "motivation" and "the ability to follow through on    │
║ your ideas and planned machinations" - yeah can I get some of that, if you       │
║ please? surely just a taste of discipline, through laboring to alter             │
║ conditions, surely a bit would suffice.                                          │
║                                                                                  │
║ c'mon don't fail me now. I can do this. I know I can. I know because I've been   │
║ told that I can, now and again through time and time yet again, always I seem    │
║ to [stack overflow]                                                              │
║                                                                                  │
║ what's time if not the present amiright                                          │
║                                                                                  │
║ ...                                                                              │
║                                                                                  │
║ anyway...                                                                        │
║                                                                                  │
║ it's just git, how hard could it be? it's just calculus, it's just java, it's    │
║ just... well, it's not any of those things, not really. it's memorization,       │
║ it's application of tools that you've been shown (not that you've grown). It's   │
║ a lack of responsibility, where is my honor? ah but I digress, I'm a carpenter   │
║ at heart I guess                                                                 │
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--- #10 fediverse/4676 ---
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 ... but I needed to choose lawful-good at character creation in order to play
 a paladin.
 
 the guard looks at you with confusion, decides you're hallucinating and
 dangerous (because of the sword) and forcibly detains you
 
 wait, what did you think I was going to say? Did you think I was going to
 advocate for crimes on a public forum?? what am I a gopher? do you take me for
 a lemur in jamaica? am I truly so triceratops to you that you'd think I'd do
 something so washing machine? Get real, I'd never byzantium my way into such a
 utterly coherent and clearly intentional and not at all arcane situation.
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--- #11 fediverse/4200 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: drugs-mentioned  │
 └──────────────────────┘


 "doing too many drugs" is a traitorous act, abusive really, to your past self,
 and their hopes and dreams.
 
 or maybe your past self owes you a debt, for they never thought to think of
 you. What are you to aspire to if not the dreams of your past?
 
 and now you're here. wherever "here" is here...
 
 ...
 
 ... wait, you wanted me to talk? it's now! It's the present!
 
 ah nevermind. you were twelve years old when you first set eyes upon this game:
 
 https://youtu.be/qeNhQQXvpxQ
 
 bam, there ya go, there's yer story, he was gonna give all the imp balls to
 the last one at the end, to say "you were truly the strongest, here, have
 these precious stones of your kin"
 
 but he never got there, so they died with him, a thief.
 
 ... the end...
 
 (too final, I think - maybe we could spin it into a "part two"?)
 
 ah, I'll try I guess? dunno how. maybe he could wander the spirit world and
 find his traitorous body, the one that kept his soul as a home. Somewhere
 it'll turn up, and then he'll be ready and free from his roam...
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--- #12 fediverse/5982 ---
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 when I stretch, it feels like I'm finally getting blood flow to my farthest
 parts.
 
 when I work out, it's like I'm pumping health through my body. but only when
 I'm in a rhythm. when I'm going for very long, I get hallucinations like I'm
 stoned. I once walked for 3 days straight with 2 hours of rest, plus standing
 every time I crossed the street waiting for cars. never sitting though. and a
 lean was only for laughs.
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--- #13 fediverse/5512 ---
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 I never give up
 
 I'm just waiting my turn
 
 "laughs nervously"
 
 so, uh, why dontchya'll go first yeah I've already gone first and I'll do it
 again but it'd be cool if I had people going first with me sometime
 
 "girl all you do is walk around and talk about how you bought your hat on the
 internet four or so years ago"
 
 T.T what else do you want from me I'm not a mastermind I'm a designer there's
 a difference T.T
 
 "didn't you volunteer to be a leader last year"
 
 oh, yeah, well leaders are more than just "the ones who go first" they're also
 the spiritual and emotional guiders that keep things on track once everyone
 can talk about things other than their hats
 
 ... fuck I want to talk about things besides my hat. I always think of
 something awesome to say just as I'm rounding the bend, and whenever I peer
 back around again they're never around. Rats.
 
 "what are you even asking for"
 
 I don't know?? Does it matter if the horse and the bishop both take the same
 square if they're claimed themselves in the end? ...wat
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--- #14 messages/1250 ---
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 if a bunch of people are in town for a conference then they should probably go
 confer. I think you can just... walk in to conference centers? you don't like,
 need an appointment or anything. There's often something going on, and if not,
 then you can at least wander around. maybe strike up conversations about
 industries you're in or things that you are thinking about lately or stuff you
 like like plant species or rock types or multidimensional solids or spheric
 sound or... actually that's pretty specific, here let's start with just
 bikeshedding (what does that mean again?) oh it's a cinema style where they
 take something and they put it in a bike out shed.
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--- #15 fediverse/5666 ---
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 okay. psycherwaul scheduled for tonight and tuesday. should be fun, I don't
 get a chance to do readings very often. Only like once or twice a week! Gah
 the spirit inside me demands to be channeled, and though I protest it still
 does contest me.
 
 all things are defined in waves
 
 ephemeren sees and speaks through me, as it does do through you, and he and
 she and we and the.
 
 I'll try to have a #nogoodawfulrottenbadtime so that the future is slightly
 better.
 
 or maybe I should try and vibe with the universe and celebrate the unity of
 existence, in order to accrete positivity in this localized place in spacetime?
 
 who am I to meddle with the flavor of fate?
 
 - stack overflow
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--- #16 fediverse/825 ---
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║ in the past, for most of there day, there was just... nothing to do. it's        │
║ like, nothing to take up your time, nothing to be pulled toward the present.     │
║                                                                                  │
║ but when I was growing up, I had access to video games. and movies. and later,   │
║ TV, after the internet, which was a weird combination of ordering of events.     │
║ Almost like because of that, I'd have a different interpretation of events.      │
║ yeah but like, there's always a continuation of implemented support, [that's a   │
║ weird way to express "the state of being shown news broadcasts over a period     │
║ of time, measured in terms of engagement"]                                       │
║                                                                                  │
║ ... what was I saying? oh yeah what I'm doing here is unethical, like            │
║ obviously I shouldn't be shouting in such a public place. Why would I do it if   │
║ not for an intense and extreme feeling of being ignored or un-[trusted, worthy   │
║ of guiding direction based on merit] gosh merit is such a tricky concept too,    │
║ like how is it measured, and {that doesn't matter                                │
║                                                                                  │
║ ... what was I saying oh yeah I should probably go shout into a void that        │
║ nobody ca                                                                        │
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--- #17 fediverse/6271 ---
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 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: hypothetical worst case fascism reality check │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 @user-641 
 
 it's practice. you never know when you might need to blend in. really it's
 just useful as discipline, good practice to be in. I think it's okay if we
 reduce our own functionality? actually? sometimes it's good to use different
 email clients. hey do you know how to mathematically encrypt things well
 neither do I because the designers of the computer system decided that wasn't
 a very common usecase I guess.. jmean it's not like they'd spend all that
 computer resources [THEY'RE SO FAST] on thinking about correlations in your
 predicted pathway narratively through life. "ah help I'm in a psyop" haha yeah
 we do those all the time "so uhhhh I guess we'll just talk to people and see
 how they do?" wow okay it's sure nice to be part of a civil government, I
 think we can find our way to the lumber producers just fine thank you very
 much.
 
 ... oops sorry, a baby did electronics arts (challenge everything) I'm a
 little silly don't mind me brb I gotta go see~

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--- #18 fediverse/5136 ---
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 not really, I guess. Nobody will hire me because I don't really want to get
 hired. Sounds boring, doing the same thing every couple days. I'd rather stay
 at home in my [underwear/pajamas] and waste the day away with kittens and
 care. why? why? what are you doing? she asks. The less you can do, the more
 power will be granted to you. Save it for another time, when things actually
 matter.
 
 but today, does, matter, because today dictates your latters. Tomorrow is
 predicated. on today. and today is all that you have. [this paragraph in the
 style of alec baldwin]
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--- #19 fediverse/1844 ---
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║ I got a job offer for a job outside of my state. But I don't want to leave my    │
║ home. I feel safe here. I know people. I know the places around me.              │
║                                                                                  │
║ The one perk is that goods and services are easier to acquire, but I don't       │
║ need much. I'm fine where I'm at. But where I'm at has rent.                     │
║                                                                                  │
║ What a plague is it, that we must suffer for life!                               │
║                                                                                  │
║ there's no entry-level jobs for working with our sight.                          │
║                                                                                  │
║ only when youre too tired to complain will they let you direct others, or        │
║ share creative ideas for fixing the problems you're paid to assuage.             │
║                                                                                  │
║ Alas, that my life had meaning. That my words were better off spoken. Maybe      │
║ then Id live as I define, designing a world of my own hearth.                    │
║                                                                                  │
║ but if a king lives in decent frugality, are they really so bad for our flock?   │
║                                                                                  │
║ and if a wizard spins tales that are weird to consider, but not much else...     │
║ are they better off starved in the dark?                                         │
║                                                                                  │
║ no-one likes me. computers are paper-weights given light. sure would be nice     │
║ if none but the fools went wanting.                                              │
║                                                                                  │
║ I mean yeah I'd live in a treehouse                                              │
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--- #20 fediverse/4521 ---
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 I have between one and ten hundred visits to my website every day, but I don't
 really post it anywhere new anymore. I also have zero followers on Neocities.
 
 On Mastodon, I have ~70 followers, most of whom are inactive. Seventy is a
 good amount, a normal amount, a reasonable amount, an unsuspicious amount, and
 yet every time I see someone wearing the colors I can't help but wonder if
 they know me.
 
 I'm too busy being furious to be lonely. I used to be, before I realized how
 important I am. How important? Just as much as you are, I know it.
 
 I'm a sprinter. I didn't spec into endurance at character creation. Nobody
 chastises the mage for skipping leg day.
 
 I act in fits and bursts. I am sharp like a scalpel, but needles dull just a
 bit when piercing the lid of the HRT. Good thing I'm not made out of metal, I
 can bend myself back into place, so long as everyone else can keep pace.
 
 I don't know who needs to hear this, but you do. you are crucial. Listen to
 this. Care for yourself and for others, do it for u
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