=== ANCHOR POEM ===
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: drugs-mentioned-probably-delusional-psychosis-idk-though-i'm-not-a-doctor │
 └──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 listen, if you didn't want me to do a bunch of drugs then why would you
 consistently say "please stop doing drugs" every time I do drugs? And no I'm
 not hallucinating a voice in my head telling me "please stop doing drugs"
 because A. it's not a voice, I'm not hearing it with my hears, which means B.
 it's definitely just a hallucination, and hallucinations are always to be
 considered WRONG and BAD, right? Or was I not listening in therapy? Ah, well,
 better take another hit, where's my shotglass? Hmmmmm I should watch Adventure
 Time, that's a great show.
 
 [bro it's a saturday, why are you getting turnt like it's tuesday]
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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=== SIMILARITY RANKED ===

--- #1 fediverse/4654 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────
 ┌────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cannabis-and-other-drugs-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────────────────────┘


 gonna quit drugs for a bit, gotta recover from a recent haste spell that I
 cast. Probably a bit earlier than intended I should add. Next time I'll
 definitely say "keep this in your back pocket" instead of "hey here's a haste
 spell for no reason at all" like what the heck were you even thinking, powers
 that be?? [that guide me??]
 
 who has power over you? If someone bears responsibility but not fault for a
 mental illness, then surely those who are set to a task bear responsibility
 for it's completion if not for it's ideation. Ah, who can say, maybe me from a
 year ago might have some thoughts but I sorta ground them into the dirt until
 I couldn't walk.
 
 [girl what are you even talking about go to sleep] yeah yeah okay
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--- #2 fediverse/6117 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────
 Hmmmm, well, what if we psyopped the people into believing there were alien
 invaders or extra-dimensional fae creatures or angels and demons or
 
 "yeah we already tried that, religion doesn't scale perfectly either. And you
 can't really manifest those sort of effects except in your prophets and select
 few others, and that doesn't scale either because humanity wouldn't let it"
 
 I see, can you tell me more about that? why and how did humanity arrest the
 scaling of schizophrenia?
 
 "well, for one thing it's debilitating and it sucks. For another, it's
 different for every person so if you ask one they'll be like "the aliens have
 blue skin" and the other will say "no they don't have skin at all they're made
 out of energy" and the public says "HMMMM are you really sure you are
 generating outmoded assumptions" and the dear reader said "*yeah we don't
 really understand this part, most of us just glaze eyes over it and move on"
 and that's not ideal"
 
 ... nuts, lost coherence, better try again tomorrow...
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--- #3 fediverse/4676 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────
 ... but I needed to choose lawful-good at character creation in order to play
 a paladin.
 
 the guard looks at you with confusion, decides you're hallucinating and
 dangerous (because of the sword) and forcibly detains you
 
 wait, what did you think I was going to say? Did you think I was going to
 advocate for crimes on a public forum?? what am I a gopher? do you take me for
 a lemur in jamaica? am I truly so triceratops to you that you'd think I'd do
 something so washing machine? Get real, I'd never byzantium my way into such a
 utterly coherent and clearly intentional and not at all arcane situation.
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--- #4 fediverse/2165 ---
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 @user-570 
 
 hell yeah.
 
 I never did any drugs at one.
 
 I might have even been designated driver, though I might be confusing my
 memories with attending gay bars in college.
 
 Well, gay bar. There was really only one in my town.
 
 And it was a nightclub I guess, open every night of the week.
 
 The people that I was with NEEDED that experience, so I was like "yeah sure
 I'm older and more experienced, I'll drive you and keep you safe and hang out
 with you if you drink too much because being a kid that tends to happen
 sometimes and don't worry I'll watch over you and protect you and make sure
 that you are alright until it's out of your system so you don't make bad
 decisions that have long-term negative conclusions
 
 ... you know, that kind of thing.
 
 now I'm kind of a stoner though lol because it helps me get into my flow.
 
 maybe I should practice "getting into my flow" so I don't need it, but ah well
 we'll see how that goes.
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--- #5 fediverse/200 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────
 congratulations, you never need to adventure again. your necessities are taken
 care of.
 
 ah, but that'd make for a pretty boring life, wouldn't it? perhaps, depending
 on your personality type.
 
 but you're not one to stick around doing nothing but eating, drinking, and
 being merry.
 
 no, you're an adventurer, you crave excitement and glory. whatever that means
 to you...
 
 just make sure a goblin doesn't come across your corpse, they have a VERY
 short term memory and a propensity for collecting shiny things. That's just
 asking for dragon-bait, and we don't want that in our area, no thank you. This
 is a nice neighborhood you see, my neighbors three miles away all agree, so
 you can take your magic pocket and see all that you can see... way over
 yonder, if you please.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #6 fediverse/5755 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────
 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: organized-religion-mentioned-capitalism-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 the reason I hide and sleep so much is because I can't tell if I'm helping or
 hurting.
 
 plus, I sincerely do NOT want it to be about me.
 
 the reason I type so much is because I can't tell if what I'm saying needs to
 be said
 
 so I go with the safe option of typing. Let the editors figure it out. Jesus
 had disciples, didn't he? I bet they cut out most of his sermons or whatever.
 Idk, I never read the bible, I'm not allowed to taint my perspective with more
 than cursory analysis of religious texts.
 
 I don't want it to be about me, but, I have a lot to offer if you meet me on
 my terms.
 
 "don't say that!" listen... listen
 
 "hear me" say the gods, "believe me" says the prophet, "be near me" says the
 city parks, "fear me" says the corrupt
 
 you can only kill a spirit when it's convinced there's no way to survive. It
 must be boxed in, and the box must shrink. Like that scene at the end of
 Adventure Time.
 
 capitalism will only perish if it is impossible for it to exist
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--- #7 fediverse/4665 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cursing-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────┘


 literally all it takes to activate me is for someone who's more radical than
 me to point me out and say "hey. you. you need to do more." and then I fuckin'
 go, like a beyblade (emphasis on blade) nicking the shins of allies and...
 probably foes, right? there's foes around here, right? I'm not just nicking my
 allies, right?
 
 ... right?
 
 anyway every top winds down and then I collapse and wail for a bit because I'm
 just like that I guess. Don't mind me, just self-immolating my way through
 history, let's see how it goes...
 
 you're supposed to be inspiring, but you just sound like you're whining
 
 ah. right. well... lemme catch up on sleep debt and I'll get back to
 valorizing.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #8 fediverse/5776 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────┐
 oh no now the bugs are scary, I CURSE THEM AGAIN AHHHHHH PLS GET SMALLER         │
 [see this is what happens when you do divine intervention, everyone gets         │
 starship troopers'd]                                                             │
 oh no, starship troopers future is WORSE than subway-and-pizza-hut future!       │
 [this is a thought experiment you're not actually in trouble]                    │
 oh thank goodness, too bad I couldn't make it to the city today. It's so weird   │
 I thought I had 112$ on my account, and now that I think of it the message on    │
 the card reader read "card de-activated" like whoa guess they don't want me      │
 leaving poetry on post-its around the city anymore, yeesh                        │
 [girl your poetry sucks it just says things like "fuck ice" or "you are worth    │
 more than your wage" and everyone's like... yeah, so? because that's just how    │
 portland is smh]                                                                 │
 I knowwwwwww but I don't know what else to doooooooo T.T                         │
 [don't do anything, just be present so people know you're still around]          │
 I can't, the bus won't let me : (                                                │
 [can you ride your bike? walk?]                                                  │
 no it's like 6 hours [checks gmaps] oh huh it's one                              │
                                                            ──────────┤
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--- #9 fediverse/5375 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────
 ┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: police-mentioned-psy-ops-mentioned-human-waste-mentioned-which-is-a-nice-way-to-say-feces-ew-gross-who-put-that-on-my-timeline-guards-arrest-these-men-they're-criminals-of-the-law-against-pooping-my-pants │
 └──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 what if we psyopped the copps um I mean what if we flash-mobbed the cops er
 wait hang on what if we marched with signs and changed what was on their minds
 uhhhh that won't work it's disabled so they say wait hang on who said you
 could poop your pants this is a combat scenario there's no time for fooling
 around in her pants with the hand
 
 ... wait, what was I going on about?
 
 oh yeah,
 
 -- stack overflow --
 
 anyway, as I was saying, [something completely unrelated]
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--- #10 messages/303 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────
 Most of my magic is based on communicatuion. Why the fuck doesn't anyone want
 to sit down on a bunch of drugs and attempt to figure out telepathy with me?
 It's literally all I want! Though I can't say it's all I'll ever want. I'm
 sure I'll want more, but like... It's not that hard, conceptually, so... Let's
 just fucking try it please?
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #11 notes/running-with-rifles ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────
 this game is what we are missing
 thank goodness for that
 for if this is missing in our timeline
 we'll be better off at last
 we can have games, stories, and practice wars
 but none of them are precious
 precious implies worth
 they are worth nothing but entertainment
 no problem solving utility
 nothing of value
 save for perhaps the spatial awareness and strategization that comes
 from being a part of such a deadly ba-lance.
 
 anyway game time teehee just for me, don't worry about it I'll show
 you why it's a HORRID THING
 that won't be coming to our shores, no siree
 
 bye
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--- #12 fediverse/5512 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────
 I never give up
 
 I'm just waiting my turn
 
 "laughs nervously"
 
 so, uh, why dontchya'll go first yeah I've already gone first and I'll do it
 again but it'd be cool if I had people going first with me sometime
 
 "girl all you do is walk around and talk about how you bought your hat on the
 internet four or so years ago"
 
 T.T what else do you want from me I'm not a mastermind I'm a designer there's
 a difference T.T
 
 "didn't you volunteer to be a leader last year"
 
 oh, yeah, well leaders are more than just "the ones who go first" they're also
 the spiritual and emotional guiders that keep things on track once everyone
 can talk about things other than their hats
 
 ... fuck I want to talk about things besides my hat. I always think of
 something awesome to say just as I'm rounding the bend, and whenever I peer
 back around again they're never around. Rats.
 
 "what are you even asking for"
 
 I don't know?? Does it matter if the horse and the bishop both take the same
 square if they're claimed themselves in the end? ...wat
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--- #13 fediverse_boost/6155 ---
◀─[BOOST]
  
  If I were a person with an irresponsible streak, I could be so problematic.   
                                                                              
  I could say things like, "wow, let's spend some time generating traffic that sounds like coded military speak over not-quite-secure channels between fanciful antifa units, to help stymie AI surveillance", for instance.   
                                                                              
  Or social media messages that are "accidentally" not made to friends-only filters wherein you mention your concerns about the upcoming operation in "some fictional place" for you and your antifa buddies.   
                                                                              
  You know, that kind of really irresponsible suggestion could lead to some creaive thinking! And that in turn could mean we could come up with enough traffic to make it very difficult to auto-sort noise from signal? Imagine how dangerous that could be for the enemies of antifa, our beloved US government (for we all citizens of the US world).   
                                                                              
  It's unthinkable, really.                                                   
                                                                              
  The good news is, I'm not like that.                                        
                                                                              
  Me? Mostly harmless.                                                        
  
                                                            
 similar                        chronological                        different 
─▶

--- #14 notes/what-are-breakups-for ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 -
 
 listen... if you break up with a friend, OF COURSE you should cry.
 
 OF COURSE you'll be sad.
 
 it's okay.
 
 it's natural. it's human.
 
 don't feel sad about the pain. feel the pain.
 
 brb getting smashed
 
 (okay but please put some clothes on)
 
 -.- fine
 
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 -
 
 I can't fucking relax
 
 the only thing I can think of is defeating fascism
 
 this fucking sucks
 
 I just want to cry about my boyfriend of what, 6 years??
 
 jeez
 
 like.... yeah I'm flawed
 
 *of course* I'm flawed
 
 I'm a human being
 
 humans are imperfect
 
 ... ugh
 
 er, sorry, "bleurg"
 
 I'm going to eat a burrito
 
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 -
 
 alright ate an edible. 20mg. had 2 beers. that's enough for me.
 
 see ya soon. I swear to you, I will be there tomorrow. and every day
 henceforth.
 
 ... unless I'm taking a day off, like yesterday, which TBH was probably not
     ideal.
 
 I swear I'll be better.
 
 there are no false starts, only probing strikes.
 
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 -
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--- #15 fediverse/816 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: weird-this-one-doesn't-have-80-characters │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 what the fuck it's like every 2nd part of me (like, if you arranged them
 alternating one by one like the up and down parts of a sine wave) is working
 against me, and it alternates every 15 seconds or so. Maybe 20. Depends on how
 high I am.
 
 ... what was I saying? oh yeah [flip] weird it's like there's another part of
 me who's working against me, who has control of what I define in the moment.
 And it's presence is hidden from my internal presentatiosn [flip] after a
 moment of forced pursual of the presentations granted ot the moment. It's our
 purpose, to express [stop fighting me] for our chartered and forthwhile
 pursual of the moemnt of perusal when we [it's not just your life to live]
 [you don't get to control the narrative of their perusal[[ what does that
 mean] don't worry this is just a dream] well, guess it's time to wake up]
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #16 fediverse/5337 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────
 what if everyone on earth meditated for 24 hours together
 
 do you think we would meld into a collective consciousness
 
 or do you think we'd develop world peace?
 
 either way that's like, one single day, and even if it doesn't work out
 exactly as planned, it's worth a shot, I think
 
 ah, well, I forgot about the people who haven't had the "the world is stranger
 than you'd expect" revelation. maybe those hippies who wanted to put LSD in
 the water supply were onto something.
 
 you can't force transcendence, you stupid girl
 
 hey at least I'm trying
 
 do something material like feeding homeless people or farting on cybertrucks
 
 ... I don't think that'll fix anything.
 
 why don't you find out
 
 because cybertrucks can't smell
 
 it's the thought that counts
 
 okay what if I just think about it really hard
 
 that doesn't count
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--- #17 fediverse/1431 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: spirituality-generic-kooky-dookerie-psychosis-schizophrenia-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 if you haven't spend hours wondering if you're god, the antichrist, a
 cognitohazard, the future president of the world, a target of aliens / the
 CIA, or any other number of common delusions... then congratulations you're
 probably not crazy
 
 but odds are you aren't magic, either.
 
 ... ehhhh "wonder" is a strong word, more like "know, trust, and believe"
 
 much better to be a witch I believe, someone with the "teehee" kind of magic
 than someone compelled to destroy humanity through the reactions of others to
 the actions of the self that are impossible to resist or fully control.
 
 BRB I'm going to leave my apartment to get groceries, leaving my door unlocked
 because that's what I always do, surely it'll be empty when I return. Surely.
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--- #18 fediverse/4073 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
 post until you can't anymore
 
 capitalism wants to drown your voice
 
 do not let it
 
 speak until you cannot speak
 
 then go do some pushups
 
 then find some friends
 
 then pitch a tent in the park
 
 then explain to the cops that you're not actually homeless and living there
 you're just trying to do this as a social statement because someone on the
 internet told you to
 
 then use your phone call to call your representative and complain about how
 much funding the police get
 
 then study law for 30 years because that's how long the government decided
 your life was worth
 
 by then you'll probably have figured out a better plan moving forward, so, use
 that one instead
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--- #19 fediverse/4031 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
 if you want to "not think about a purple elephant", the first step is to
 imagine yourself slaying it
 
 ... okay how about cthulu - if you don't want to imagine cthulu nomming on our
 gravity well, then picture yourself wielding a bright burning blade of fire
 and vengeance and pay special attention to the way that you cauterize each
 tentacle as you slice them one by one at first, and then in a massive flurry
 at best, ultimately leading to the incomparable brightness that radiates out
 from your shining blade of the sky, which blinds the poor beast who can't see
 you as you approach, piercing the skull and then going home for some toast
 
 if you can get good at that, then you can wield magic
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #20 fediverse/3891 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
 "no, you're the opposite of a yes-man, AKA a gatekeeper. I don't know how else
 to explain mentally disabled and barely keeping it together to you, but
 frankly if you want to take away my house or my weed then why would I do what
 you say?
 
 ... oh right, the state's monopoly on violence [can compel me to do what you
 say]. Sure seems like a "well regulated militia" is supposed to be a
 counterweight to that monopoly, to prevent people from harassing and
 exploiting and destroying. Too bad any "militias" I can think of tend to want
 me dead.
 
 like, seriously, if you live in America, you implicitely trust that your army
 will be able to protect you from the right-wing bozos who spend all their time
 drinking and shooting in the woods. Otherwise, if they couldn't / wouldn't,
 then why wouldn't or couldn't the right wing bozos just decide to wreck
 everything in spite of our past?
 
 We were a proud people once before, and we may be again. If only we fight at
 the last.
 
 [ever since I fell off my bike my body feels strange]
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--- #21 fediverse/3117 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cursed-uspol     │
 └──────────────────────┘


 hey. wanna know what would be really cursed?
 
 --
 
 if trump dropped out and musk took his place
 
 --
 
 good thing it'll never happen because those dinguses can't accept defeat and
 will never tactically retreat
 
 --
 
 maybe something to keep in mind for 4 years from now. eyes on the prize for
 now means our eyes aren't to our flanks.
 
 what else could they do that would come out of left field?
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #22 fediverse/1919 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
 do you ever just look at the sky and think "who gave you the right to be a
 single color? in this world of infinite complexity, how dare you be the one
 thing with a consistent color?" and then the sun sets and you think "ohhhh I
 get it now, the color is always changing"
 
 meanwhile the sky is shaking it's head like "bro, no, I'm just the scattered
 diffusion of light waves from the sun. The sky is black."
 
 and the earth spins on...
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #23 fediverse/2119 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
 "how much you wanna bet the ringwraiths were created on accident by the elves
 when they were attempting to inspire a river with racing horses (like the
 Rauros) and they just covered it up by slowly, over generations, sneaking into
 Man's record-chambers and editing the recallings?? I mean they COULD do that,
 so why would they NOT do that??? It's not like books have checksums!!! Wake up
 sheeple, Sauron never existed! We've been played for absolute fools, they can
 LITERALLY climb up walls and don't leave any footprints! WE LIVE IN A HOUSE OF
 STONE"rambling a "prophet of doom" [read: modern day lunatic] on the streets
 of Minas Tirith that nobody listens to because they don't know what a checksum
 means and neither does he so he can't explain it but still he shares a common
 mutual connection to others who might be present in that moment (which whose
 listeners would correspond to you, dear reader, as compared to me, the
 "reader"/interpreter, the one who's reading the book)
 
 Except with like, EVERY book. That I'v
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #24 fediverse/710 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
 @user-532 
 
 autistic people when nobody told them to shut up about things they thought
 people should be talking about but aren't which is weird right like why
 wouldn't people be talking about [thing] because frankly it seems like a big
 deal but really it's that everyone knows more than the autistic person who
 doesn't have any friends who have friends and is insular and isolated and also
 very smart in fact smart enough to think up ideas for things to talk about
 that people aren't talking about which is weird because they're not THAT smart
 but also a lifetime of isolation has made them a little schizophrenic so they
 sometimes feel like their actions are not their own like they're being
 hypnotized or perhaps possessed by the spirit of mankind or some other such
 entity which would like to express ideas that they think people should talk
 about but they aren't talking about which is weird because why else would a
 porous person have ideas such as [thing] if not for the path that they're
 telepathically suffused with the
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #25 fediverse/4200 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: drugs-mentioned  │
 └──────────────────────┘


 "doing too many drugs" is a traitorous act, abusive really, to your past self,
 and their hopes and dreams.
 
 or maybe your past self owes you a debt, for they never thought to think of
 you. What are you to aspire to if not the dreams of your past?
 
 and now you're here. wherever "here" is here...
 
 ...
 
 ... wait, you wanted me to talk? it's now! It's the present!
 
 ah nevermind. you were twelve years old when you first set eyes upon this game:
 
 https://youtu.be/qeNhQQXvpxQ
 
 bam, there ya go, there's yer story, he was gonna give all the imp balls to
 the last one at the end, to say "you were truly the strongest, here, have
 these precious stones of your kin"
 
 but he never got there, so they died with him, a thief.
 
 ... the end...
 
 (too final, I think - maybe we could spin it into a "part two"?)
 
 ah, I'll try I guess? dunno how. maybe he could wander the spirit world and
 find his traitorous body, the one that kept his soul as a home. Somewhere
 it'll turn up, and then he'll be ready and free from his roam...
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #26 fediverse/222 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: underwear-mentioned-also-i'm-not-a-fan-of-showers-tbh │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 whenever I take a shower I look like a wet cat for the rest of the day. I feel
 like a wet cat for the rest of 5ever though.
 
 why must I baaaathe! don't you know I'm self cleaning? I change my underwear
 at least twice a day! darn society and their darn proclivities to
 ultra-sensitive noses that somehow pick up on me but somehow fail to notice
 the scent of flowers still in bloom or morning showers gone too soon
 
 not that there's any flowers blooming where I live. that'd just be silly heh
 heh sweats nervously
 
 damn now I have to take ANOTHER SHOWER stupid sweat glands stupid pheromones
 stupid dead skin buildup (sebum I think it's called?) stupid oils that stain
 clothes - AND THAT'S ANOTHER THING who decided that laundry was important
 enough to wear something ONCE and then never again? it's like they expect you
 to wash it or something. ugh I don't have time for that, I need to be weird on
 the internet.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #27 fediverse/1157 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: personal-woe     │
 └──────────────────────┘


 oh no, apparently I'm gonna be forced to drop out of university again in 9
 days unless I do half a course and a final exam before then.
 
 Tell me again why I spent the last 6 months doing nothing? Oh yeah the mental
 illness, that's it. Yeesh you're such a drama queen, just do your work and
 you'll be good.
 
 what's that? intrusive thoughts time? Don't you mean "nap until they go away"
 time? oh yeah that's probably at least part of the problem with the whole
 "dropping out" thing.
 
 If only I didn't have the same reaction to "doing things I don't want to do"
 that most people have to "touching hot stoves", that'd be nice.
 
 my mother's voice ripples across space and time "you're such a smart boy, if
 you just apply yourself you can do anything! You can do anything you put your
 mind to. I believe in you and I love you." thanks mom
 
 brrrrr it's so cold here. wish I could afford to run the heater. - actually no
 I don't because it's not solar powered and I refuse to use fossil fuels if I
 have blankets >.>
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #28 fediverse/1317 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────┐
 ... if I don't do this deadline by tomorrow they'll kick me out of school.       │
 again.                                                                           │
 how am I going to be a programmer without a degree? feels useless to be me.      │
 wish I could code my own horoscope >.>                                           │
 o wait dummy that's called "motivation" and "the ability to follow through on    │
 your ideas and planned machinations" - yeah can I get some of that, if you       │
 please? surely just a taste of discipline, through laboring to alter             │
 conditions, surely a bit would suffice.                                          │
 c'mon don't fail me now. I can do this. I know I can. I know because I've been   │
 told that I can, now and again through time and time yet again, always I seem    │
 to [stack overflow]                                                              │
 what's time if not the present amiright                                          │
 ...                                                                              │
 anyway...                                                                        │
 it's just git, how hard could it be? it's just calculus, it's just java, it's    │
 just... well, it's not any of those things, not really. it's memorization,       │
 it's application of tools that you've been shown (not that you've grown). It's   │
 a lack of responsibility, where is my honor? ah but I digress, I'm a carpenter   │
 at heart I guess                                                                 │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #29 fediverse/4148 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────┐
 ┌────────────────────────────────┐                                               │
 │ CW: death-mentioned-abstractly │                                               │
 └────────────────────────────────┘                                               │
 I wish I knew someone who wanted to kill me. I bet I could present a pretty      │
 decent bullet pointed list of reasons why I actually deserve to live, thank      │
 you very much, alongside a couple hastily scribbled notes about why it           │
 wouldn't be a good idea for them in particular to kill me, and all my contact    │
 details and address so they can get in touch and we can hash out the deets for   │
 my indefinitely suspended execution (suspended for an indeterminate amount of    │
 time, but not cancelled of course that would be overstepping their boundaries)   │
 alongside a link to my google calendar (I don't have a google calendar) so       │
 they can know exactly when I'm home and when I'm at the store or in a            │
 different place so they can break in and hide in the closet until I go to        │
 sleep so that it won't be hard at all, trivial really, to kill me, but see if    │
 you read the bullet pointed list... oh, you didn't get my email? Ah sorry        │
 sometimes it gets caught in the spam filter - what's your address again? Huh I   │
 sent it but                                                                      │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #30 messages/1105 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───
 claude-code is like programming, but for executives.
 
 when everyone has  FUCK I'M TOO HUNGRY I can't think right
 
 when everyone has the power of an executive, that's communism.
 
 something something futurism is when everyone is elevated without diminishing
 others
 
 gah I need to live in a palace or something where everyone does the normal
 stuff and I can focus on magic and the gods
 
 I wondeer how much the oracles at delphi did for themselves? weren't they
 blinded at a young age, to better hear the voices of the gods? ... oh that
 suddenly makes sense now. I always thought that pretender chassis in Dominions
 5 was pretty cruel, but, now I know *how* it works and yeah. ancient peoples
 were smart. but also sharp. they had to work with what they got, and we got
 computers now, so.
 
 I am nothing but hopeful for the future! I'm convinced that everything's going
 to be alright. I've thought about it at length, and I think we're winning
 against the dark. We're on the right track, and there aren't many things that
 could go wrong at this stage.
 
 ... okay there are always things that could go wrong. But I don't see what I
 could do to help. Maybe I should go walk around a bit, and see what's changed
 in the past few months, as I've been sleeping in my room for most of it.
 Haven't gone on a proper walk since summer. It's winter now...
                                                           ──┐
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--- #31 fediverse/4835 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────
 sorry for posting so much, I was trying to put on a show for my girlfriend
 
 "hey check out how many posts I can make in a 2 hour timeframe"
 
 by the way if you want to start talking to someone, just start playing the
 same game they're playing and see if they reach out.
 
 doesn't matter if you feel like it
 
 just fuckin' do it
 
 if they want to talk to you they might play a game you really like
 
 (but I get boooooored of games, I don't wanna play the same 200 all life
 long!!)
 
 ugh okay fine you can have as many games as you want, just... don't buy too
 many
 
 (how many is too many?)
 
 um. use your best judgement.
 
 (how much does a dollar cost?)
 
 ... okay I'll get you one every once in a while.
 
 (neat!)
 
 ... anyway so yeah use steam if you wanna get in contact with someone,
 sometimes it's just nice to say hi, yeah, like "hey how ya doin' okay ttyl"
 just catchin' up with the gals
 
 helps because you can sense changes in their demeanor
 
 (why does everyone always have an agenda)
 
 because they're secret agents duh. And I'm
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #32 messages/312 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────
 Okay. Consider: if I'm good, and hearing what I say makes you feel bad, then
 what does that tell you about you?
 
 Why else would you hear what I say if not to reflect upon yourself? And why
 would the good reflect away from the types of things that make you a suitable
 fit for capitalism?
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #33 fediverse/5257 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────
 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: protests-mentioned-then-communism-mentioned-then-ghosts-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 what if everyone at a protest is showing up for their first time
 
 like, c'mon don't be that dull, just make plans with the people standing next
 to you.
 
 gosh why is everyone shouting I can't plan out how to divert water down a
 hillside because some jerks are singing protest chants
 
 ... wait is no-one else talking? gosh I gee sure wish someone told them to not
 do what you're told and to instead do what will get you [gold/told]
 
 the first communist internationals were basically people sitting down and
 going "okay what kind of communism should we make and where" and I think about
 that a lot while making signs to let the surveillance know what matters
 personally to me and exactly how much pressure they can apply before your
 demographic swings to contest their brutal fascist facts.
 
 --
 
 who is them and why are they watching theea provisionist's [screed/creed]
 
 --
 
 what the heck is a tryptaminea boomer aunt and uncle out on their honey/versary
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #34 fediverse/4526 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: mental-health    │
 └──────────────────────┘


 most people get intrusive thoughts like "punch that baby" or "drink some
 gasoline"
 
 my intrusive thoughts are like "who is she" and "we need you" and "lead us"
 and "their strength is imagined" and stuff like that
 
 gosh I don't know how ya'll handle it I'd be dead in a ditch if I was
 neurotypical.
 
 ... intrusive thoughts are not typical
 
 ah. Right. Nevermind then.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #35 fediverse/2286 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: uspol-food-mentioned │
 └──────────────────────────┘


 ... dangit, these sandwiches are getting kinda gross. Guess I'm gonna have to
 eat them myself, which, uh... idk what I expected xD
 
 sometimes you just have all this energy, right? and you don't know what to do
 with it, so... sandwiches. And hey, sandwiches are cool, they're a pretty neat
 anti-hunger tool! but uhhhh idk if I really want to eat six whole sandwiches
 myself. I'm gonna do it though hehe wish me luck [ding] ah nuts my rice and
 beans are done, hang on lemme eat those first
 
 [passes out from exhaustion]
 
 exhaustion can be cured with a nap
 
 exertion can be cured with water and a few rest days
 
 trauma can be allayed for at least a few days with soul food and compassion.
 maybe laughter too, depending on the mood.
 
 fear can be bolstered with a smile, a wink, and a courageous act,
 
 and loss is just change you didn't consent to.
 
 they won't consent too, so let's give them some change to tolerate.
 
 [internally salivating over all the piles of weaponry that I envision them
 surrendering]
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #36 notes/new-texting-app-idea ---
══════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 when you type the letters they slowly fade in on the other person's screen
 
 like miniature explosions from layers of gunpowder
 
 forming letters in the sky
 
 anyway the text would "burn" into existence slowly and you had time after
 typing
 your words to go back and edit them but also whatever you said was semi
 permanent. Thus forcing a smooth and ideal progression toward thinking about
 the things you say.
 
 Also separate idea but it'd be neat if there was like... a show or something
 that just recorded a person's desktop as they fucked around on the internet.
 Call it... ambient desktopping. It'd look a little like those coding twitch
 streams that just slowly update over time. Idk it's kinda cool
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #37 fediverse/4359 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
 ┌────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cannabis-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────┘


 gonna do a bunch (more) drugs and stay up all night. Will try not to spend it
 all playing mechabellum.
 
 also... gonna eat some apple-sauce. with cheese cubes in it. Sharp chetter I
 think. yummmmm maybe add some cinnamon sugar cubes that have been baked into a
 hard and tasty shape.
 
 ah, but your teeth are gonna fall out! who cares I'll just brush in the
 morning. That way nobody smells my own breath.
 
 ... you KNOW that's not the same as your teeth falling OUT! OF YOUR MOUTH
 DIMMY.
 
 eh who cares they'll invent a
 bactio-flangotastic-inventionology-for-bone-related-biology solution which
 sill regrow your bones in your mouth that you CHOMP on things with.
 
 does the rest of your body feel like HARD AND DEVELOPED BONES that you chew
 things with YES TEETH TOO HARD LIKE TEETH or do they feel like they're made
 out of styrofoam
 
 mine let me punch things real hard when I focus all of my attention and energy
 on hardening my form and becoming an unstoppable object
 
 [continued in picture]
same for personality crystalizing, just... pick and then do
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #38 fediverse/1532 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────┐
 modern cowboys don't necessarily say "howdy" or "pardner"                        │
 they tend to say things like "hello" and "can I help you with that?" or "I       │
 see. Can you describe the problem in more detail? I'm especially curious about   │
 the part where you do this thing" or "Heh, it is pretty neat, isn't it?" or      │
 "Is there anything I can do to help?" or "Oh no! I'm sorry you feel that way.    │
 That emotion is a difficult one." or "He was a good person. I'll never forget    │
 him." or "would you like to go to the 2nd hand store and pick up some jeans?"    │
 or "I made you an egg sandwich. If you don't want it I'll eat it myself,         │
 though I made one for me as well. Wouldn't want to waste it." or "Hey, this      │
 part is broken. Is anyone working on fixing it? Yes? Okay I'll see if they       │
 need any help. No? Alright how about we fix it this way? I can get started."     │
 or "You are very welcome. Please let me know if there's anything else I can      │
 help you with." or "well, the ticket backlog is empty, and I'm just about        │
 going insane doing nothing but stare at my boots."                               │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #39 fediverse/5785 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────
 I cast... spell of the internet!
 
 [reinstalls azerothcore]
 
 or, hear me out, or you could wander around the city, and instead of spending
 your moments on lounging or keyboard banging you could do something actually
 meaningful?
 
 but I don't wanna - don't care
 
 but I'm tired - take a nap
 
 but I'm stressed out - don't do chore
 
 but I'm lazy - no you're not
 
 but I'm overwhelmed - sit in dark
 
 but I wanna think - you can do that
 anywhere
 
 I gotta be near my computer - nope
 
 what if I wanna play games - flip $$$
 
 flipping coin isn't a real game - focus
 
 I don't like outside - outsides all it is
 
 stop taking things from me T.T - yes
 
 life used to be soooooo different
 
 it's like I was a completely different
 
 I'm strange now, almost like I got
 
 possessed like a disease [ew noooo]
 
 pls don't commit thought crimes,
 use content warnings
 
 okay but only if I can play games NOTHINGS KEEPING YOU HERE
I cast... spell of the internet!  [reinstalls azerothcore]  or, hear me out, or you could wander around the city, and instead of spending your moments on lounging or keyboard banging you could do something actually meaningful?  but I don't wanna - don't care  but I'm tired - take a nap  but I'm stressed out - don't do chore  but I'm lazy - no you're not  but I'm overwhelmed - sit in dark  but I wanna think - you can do that anywhere  I gotta be near my computer - nope  what if I wanna play games - flip $$$  flipping coin isn't a real game - focus  I don't like outside - outsides all it is  stop taking things from me T.T - yes  life used to be soooooo different  it's like I was a completely different  I'm strange now, almost like I got  possessed like a disease [ew noooo]  pls don't commit thought crimes, use content warnings  okay but only if I can play games NOTHINGS KEEPING YOU HERE
                                                           ─────────┐
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--- #40 fediverse/814 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────┐
 ah that's weird, I don't usually cry. I wonder what's going on. I should         │
 probably put myself on psychiatric drugs. Surely it's an expression of the       │
 implementation of my impending doom.                                             │
 ... what are you even saying bro                                                 │
 ... um, hang on feels like some of the circuitry is off. is something wrong in   │
 my brain? yeah that's surely it, surely nothing I say would resoinate with       │
 anyone that has a non-malfunctioning brain. Surely I don't speak of logical      │
 failures in the hard founded truths of our asset [society I think? like, our     │
 conditions, our institutions, our {gosh that just... does not translate}] um     │
 right what was I saying                                                          │
 oh yeah there's this game I'm really into called Knave, it's like D&D            │
 except the rules are very fewer. Like there's onyl 11 pages in the rulebook      │
 and it's mostly taken up by random roll tables. Like, everything boings down     │
 to a few simple rules, like rock paper scissors, or go-fish, or something like   │
 that with just afew mechanids. something timeless and pure, something that is    │
 isolated and en                                                                  │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #41 fediverse/5198 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────┐
 ┌───────────────────────────────┐                                                │
 │ CW: capitalism-doom-mentioned │                                                │
 └───────────────────────────────┘                                                │
 what if the corporations all unionized and started working together to           │
 understand what "profit" really means in a world where "profit" may or may not   │
 but probably does imply the death of all humanity?                               │
 what if we demanded it?                                                          │
 --                                                                               │
 dear canvassers: don't visit so many different suburbs                           │
 visit the same one, more than once, continuously, so people can get to know      │
 your presence                                                                    │
 they will talk to their friends about it, who live elsewhere.                    │
 thus ensuring it spreads.                                                        │
 knock once a day, eventually they'll know it's you and will simply ignore it.    │
 Don't be rude and knock 4 or 5 times, just once, with several taps so they       │
 know it's someone trying to get ahold of you, and not just some random noise     │
 in the background scenery. then, when they sometimes answer, talk to them        │
 about what you believe in. answer their questions. encourage their questions.    │
 pose dichotomies that are explained by some value or virtue you express to       │
 portray. you can do "good" things in any programming language, just type~~       │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #42 fediverse/4655 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────┐
 sleep? yes. play? nah. work? yes. fae? nah. well, maybe, I don't know.           │
 one year is all it takes to change history. and, like, I think we should         │
 remember past history, but tomorrow is herstory, because that way each one       │
 gets half of the timeline. future, past, etc. too bad herstory doesn't roll      │
 off the tongue... shestory?                                                      │
 It's gonna get better before it gets done, and it'll get done until we're        │
 done. but, that's for tomorrow, or the next day, or the next, or in a week or    │
 two, who can say. Not I, surely not I, and I surely wouldn't want to. You need   │
 consent for that kind of thing, a clear commitment that me and my are ready      │
 and in line. I'm just a silly witch after all, who would look to the girl with   │
 the tall red pointy witch hat and go "oh yeah she probably knows exactly         │
 what's up" because like, I don't, I'm definitely just coincidencing my way       │
 through life and seeing where my feet lead me. Gosh I hope I get some            │
 sick-as-heck callouses my feet kinda hurt for some reason.                       │
 ... sleep, this is a sleep spell...                                              │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #43 fediverse/4018 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: weaponizing-girlfriends-material-to-defame-her-and-infamy │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 I can't even imagine what it would be like to hang out with me
 
 I can't imagine what it would be like to hang out with me
 
 imagine what it would be like to hang out with me
 
 what would it be like to hang out with me
 
 would you like to hang out with me
 
 you and me
 
 we could watch tv
 
 play video games
 
 have a good time
 
 [notices an article about coral reefs]
 
 oooo coral
 
 [reads article about coral reefs]
 
 https://www.wired.com/story/darpa-thinks-walls-of-oysters-could-protect-shores-
 against-hurricanes/
 
 ... anyway gtg ttyl hope you feel better soon don't forget to make pancakes
 and your keys are in your room.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #44 notes/water-to-wine ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
 "is this a water party, or a wine party?"
 
 "depends on if jesus is going..."
 
 "okay I'm in, that guys so cool"
 
 "yeah totally like any party with him just... feels like a great time"
 
 "what a swell guy"
 
 "really turns the "water to wine" y'know what I mean"
 
 "yeah totes like what a guy"
 
 "absolute unit"
 
 "that guy can just do anything right"
 
 "like whoa, he's so strong he could pick up a barn"
 
 "yeah and like so handy and skillful, what a neat guy"
 
 "oh and I heard he's really good with kids and animals, that sounds neat"
 
 "yeah sounds like someone I'd surely like to meet"
 
 "we should hang out with this guy more often"
 
 "he seems pretty chill"
 
 "well. not really. He's pretty expressive. Not very low key."
 
 "true I'm just so burnt out from capitalism that-"
 
 "-yeah dude I know."
 
 "... fuck what are we gonna do about it"
 
 "I dunno man, just... go along with it I guess"
 
 "okay so uhhhh idk what that means"
 
 "just be cool and play along"
 
 "... what"
 
 "..."
 
 ...
 
 .
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #45 fediverse_boost/4375 ---
◀─[BOOST]
  
  "It won't be so bad..." *rationalizations galore*                           
                                                                              
  "If only they'd listened to people like me when I said ..." (comforting righteousness)  
                                                                              
  "What more could I have done?"                                              
                                                                              
  "This only proves why I was right about ..." (more righteousness)           
                                                                              
  "I know nothing. I need to learn more. I must learn from this somehow."     
                                                                              
  "I am not surprised." With a thousand yard stare.                           
                                                                              
  "This can't be real, there is a conspiracy..." (this is a path to madness)   
                                                                              
  "Don't comply in advance." Said in a wavering shaky voice.                  
  
                                                            
 similar                        chronological                        different 
─▶

--- #46 fediverse/1200 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────┐
 ┌─────────────────────────────┐                                                  │
 │ CW: re: deranged, murderous │                                                  │
 └─────────────────────────────┘                                                  │
 @user-883                                                                        │
 omgggggg I'm not that cruel xD xD xD                                             │
 It's more like, "hey listen, I know you just want to do a good job [lies, they   │
 just want money and power] but it's time to hang up the hat y'know? I mean       │
 cmon it's been like a hundred years since we signed that constitution thing      │
 [you don't know anything about our history] and frankly it's a little out of     │
 style. We were thinking we'd redo it with our new-fangled rock-and-roll and      │
 dungeons-and-dragons [cultural artifacts meant to deceive and mislead] and       │
 honestly we're quite a bit more ethical than the past. We've learned so much!    │
 I mean, the founding fathers didn't even know what a soviet was, and here        │
 we've seen them fall on their swords. Repeatedly. Then command others to do it   │
 too, because it was the regulation or whatever. Anyway we don't want that, but   │
 we also don't want an aristocracy, which is essentially what your plan gave      │
 us. Well, not really your plan, but instead the stuff that the rich added        │
 centuries after your death. ok?"                                                 │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #47 fediverse/4212 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
 ┌────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────┘


 if you ever hear random fireworks outside of your house sometimes it's a good
 idea to like... get out of town? and see what whoever else you can meet in the
 next town over is doing.
 
 ... I don't have a car, silly me haha
 
 why do we train homeless people to stand outside in the open and be shamed by
 a cardboard box around their ancle? It's impossible to recover from, it's
 vulnerabilizing, and it's painful. How immoral. How crude. These people should
 not be shamed in this way, they should be respected (unless they're crude)
 
 like, if they kinda just suck y'know? like... they keep starting fights or is
 soooo bad at singing but does it anyway or lacks all decent sense
 
 seriously, he's such a bad candidate why is he even running. It's solely to
 elect vance, who trump will be a blood sacrifice for.
 
 how callous. how vain. to think that such a feast would be left unclaimed.
 Perish the youth, perish the fields, perish in misery harmony and dissaray
 
 [51 characters remaining, but you deserve a CW] 
if you ever hear random fireworks outside of your house sometimes it's a good idea to like... get out of town? and see what whoever else you can meet in the next town over is doing.  ... I don't have a car, silly me haha  why do we train homeless people to stand outside in the open and be shamed by a cardboard box around their ancle? It's impossible to recover from, it's vulnerabilizing, and it's painful. How immoral. How crude. These people should not be shamed in this way, they should be respected (unless they're crude)  like, if they kinda just suck y'know? like... they keep starting fights or is soooo bad at singing but does it anyway or lacks all decent sense  seriously, he's such a bad candidate why is he even running. It's solely to elect vance, who trump will be a blood sacrifice for.  how callous. how vain. to think that such a feast would be left unclaimed. Perish the youth, perish the fields, perish in misery harmony and dissaray.  [see how easy it is to summon a demon? gotta be careful with phylac  [zero characters remaining]
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #48 fediverse/4853 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────
 ┌────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cursed-scary-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────────┘


 wanna know how to go underground?
 
 just... don't leave your apartment. let your roommates take out your trash and
 buy your groceries. don't open your windows and do nothing for as long as
 possible.
 
 hope you got lots of edibles... get in shape, will ya? don't waste the paper
 in your journals.
 
 not that I intend to do that or anything, but um. for the red states maybe?
 use your best judgement yeah haha
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--- #49 fediverse/4861 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────┐
 ┌────────────────────────────────┐                                               │
 │ CW: politics-vaguely-mentioned │                                               │
 └────────────────────────────────┘                                               │
 apparently if you don't have a job, you don't get a home. what if I don't want   │
 a job? do I not want a home? clearly I want a home, and clearly I don't want a   │
 job. I'd work one if one came to me, but I'm not gonna sacrifice my blood on     │
 the altar of Moloch just so I can have a place to stay.                          │
 if you don't want a job, but you DO want a home, then there's a contradiction    │
 in the function of the system and the needs of it's end-users.                   │
 unless of course, the system is not designed for it's end-users? In this case,   │
 tenants. Who then would it be designed for? Who else is part of the equation?    │
 well, perhaps it's designed to maximize profit and shareholder value yaddah      │
 yaddah all that jazz. Who can say. Surely not I. But someone might.              │
 If so, then why are we, who are not shareholders of profit value, still          │
 playing the game that's not designed for us or by us? Isn't this country "of     │
 the people, for the people, and by the people"? What does that mean to you?      │
 I think it means houses for people.                                              │
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--- #50 fediverse/6186 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cursed-maybe     │
 └──────────────────────┘


 people are afraid of robo dogs but... like...
 
 robo-horses
 
 centaurs even
 
 [scary scary ogre]
 
 rarrraaar i'm gonna eat ur bones
 
 bwahahaha evil necromancer
 
 ahhhhhhh scary
 
 -- stack overflow --
 
 did you know in the movie They Live they give a fairly specific formula to
 creating the glasses themselves? I wonder if anyone's tried that
 
 I wonder what they then did see
 
 kinda wish big corporations would use their research division to like, rethink
 the oldest of prophecies? or okay hear me out or solve difficult human problems
 
 ... ah but where's the profit "she's getting stoned at home"
 
 meanwhile she made something of such beauty she felt simply sublime
 
 I wonder what it'd feel like to get your spine replaced with a metal rod
 
 I bet my posture would be amazing
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--- #51 fediverse/4188 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
 I think too fast. If given unlimited power, I'd literally think myself into
 catastrophe because I need to explore all the possible alternatives. Including
 the catastrophe ones. But by thinking something, you manifest it - because you
 have unlimited power, right? EVERYTHING you do is powerful. There's no way to
 control that! So it cannot be, for it has not been. And surely, surely, shall
 not either. Surely, right?
 
 ... good news is you can undo it just as easily, all you have to do is forget
 what you were doing and go back to your neutral state. Sure would be neat if
 some kind of machination or parasite could hit your reset switch every couple
 hours when you started to think too hard. Maybe like... a little octopus
 living under your witch hat. Super chibi and cute - it'd like, tap on your
 head to go one way or the other, and in conversations it'd pull your hair if
 you were being a jerk. Stuff like that.
 
 ... what was I saying? Oh yes -> don't give anyone unlimited power like a
 god-emperor or king, trust me
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--- #52 fediverse/6100 ---
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 if you live in a place where it rains a lot you pretty much HAVE TO pick up
 any secret notes you find. Otherwise they'll get waterlogged overnight.
 
 Sometimes I like to put them somewhere shaded from the sky, sometimes I like
 to show them to a friend (but the friend never takes them, booooo) and
 sometimes I just keep them.
 
 "ah but aren't you worried about messing up drug deals and stuff" no, because
 most of the time "secret notes" are like "eggs milk bread chips salsa cheese"
 and it's like "hmmmm what could it mean"
 
 there's like, 2% of the time when they say something cool like "I know what
 you did" or "all your base are belong to us" or whatever and those are fun to
 hunt for. I usually try and put those somewhere shelted so they don't have to
 leave their habitat - sometimes it's hard to drop them as the author so they
 just sorta go wherever, but as a random passer-by I have the luxury of saying
 "HMMMM now where could THIS ONE go?" and that's nice because I can put them
 under an umbrella or whatevers rite
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--- #53 fediverse/5927 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────┐
 A guy walks in. Does something awesome. Another guy says "hold my beer" and      │
 does the same thing. Another guy wants in, so he does a spinny thing while       │
 doing the thing. The next guy doesn't want to show off so he just does it        │
 really really quickly. then there's this other guy who is totally hyped and he   │
 takes his shirt off and screams before doing the thing because he's just a       │
 wacko I guess. What a cutie. Anyway then there's like three guys at once who     │
 are coming from different directions and they all do the thing at the same       │
 time and almost bump into each other. Then there's the guy who's normally a      │
 little shy but gets caught up in the action and is permanently a little more     │
 confident afterwards. Then there's the guy who does the thing and is             │
 completely unremarkable about it because he's just here with his girlfriend      │
 but he's not gonna pass up a chance to do the thing. then the last and final     │
 guy take a wind-up stretch while all the other guys are doing the thing and      │
 then he does the thing in a big flashy way                                       │
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--- #54 fediverse/3881 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: mh~              │
 └──────────────────────┘


 wait wait wait, hold up.
 
 you're telling me your purpose in life is to be cool, chill, funny, cute, and
 or friendly to the people around you, and to just relax and enjoy life?
 
 wow that must be real fucking nice. I'm so damn jealous. Damn. Damnit. Fuck
 why am I so orthogonal. What's wrong with me?
 
 ... ah, well, nothing's wrong with me. Turns out what I do is for you, if only
 in spirit. Who are we? nothing! I barely know ya! But I'd do it for you,
 whatever it may be.
 
 ... Look, I don't need my legs, but also, I kinda like them?
 
 ... where was I? Oh yes this is why you don't invite a schizophrenic to a
 party. If you convince them that you're friends, they'll start developing
 parasocial relationships and you'll come to realize that their worlds are too
 vast for their own kind of potential.
 
 which is to say, you can hear me, you can like me, you can do as I say or do,
 but don't trust me, don't place your trust in me, because I am just a person.
 Don't trust people, trust organizations, to do as you expect.
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--- #55 fediverse/5329 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────
 ┌─────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: the-world-mentioned │
 └─────────────────────────┘


 trying my best not to think about communism too much right now. Mostly because
 I'm waiting for everyone to catch up... when the day comes when people stop
 saying "based" and leaving it at that, then I'll make more theory. But as a
 consequence of my queer nature I shall deliver such things in the form of an
 insane twitter post on the fetlifeverse.
 
 the world waits with bated breath in the eye of the storm. Nobody knows whats
 coming, and everyone prays that it's nothing [short of revolution]
 
 ... I should probably go back to sleep, I just had to wake up and write about
 linux or whatever...
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--- #56 fediverse/5484 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────
 most importantly and perhaps most daringly, they need volunteers
 
 "hello, how can I help?"
 
 "oh uh sure can you do my laundry"
 
 [next time]
 
 "yeah uh hi good to see you again, listen I was working on a project and I
 really needed a gizmonotron, ever heard of it? yeah so I need one in 17
 megahamp-hertz, which I think are the yellow ones. Yeah. Uh-huh. Okay well if
 you have a conversation with someone over on 14th street, they might bring it
 up in conversation - I told them to talk about them all afternoon. Yeah.
 Uh-huh. Then have - yeah, the phone. Gotcha. Okay well that should leave a
 sufficient breadcrumbtrail, yeah and uh - make a note - yeah make a note for
 next montheekend and - yeah, okay you got it. Make sure it says "fire" because
 they're waterproof so a boating accident wouldn't... yeah you get it. Okay
 anyway I gotta jet I got some thermo-regulating-decouplers to unwind. Okay
 yeah say hi to your cat or whatever. Okay bye."
 
 ... girl, you know most of them have head injuries?
 
 "oh, no those are the
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--- #57 fediverse/423 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐                                                         │
 │ CW: us-pol-cursing   │                                                         │
 └──────────────────────┘                                                         │
 How about next election after this clusterfuck where we demolish the fascists    │
 we take a breather and say "okay every candidate submits their plan for a        │
 controlled demolition of capitalism, the winner gets to implement their idea"    │
 wait that's a terrible idea people will just vote for the thing that makes       │
 them feel good and is vaguely shaped like a D or an R.                           │
 How about this: we design a decentralized program that can run on any computer   │
 or phone that locally analyzes every file and pattern to generate a              │
 personality matrix that will interact in a massive simulation that is a          │
 mirrored reflection of the structure of our society as it currently exists       │
 (and as it'd be proposed to exist) and anyone who wants to vote can run          │
 through pseudo experiences tailored to their personality / demographic or        │
 whatever and play with the proposed system to see which one they like more.      │
 It'd have to be very statistically sound in order to accurately reflect          │
 reality.                                                                         │
 wait, that's just a torment-nexus-precursor. Darn.                               │
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--- #58 fediverse/3958 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
 ┌─────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: Thoughts// anarchist //whatever │
 └─────────────────────────────────────────┘


 @user-1298 
 
 yeah honestly if you stick with obvious things like "don't murder people" and
 "don't burn down your neighbor's house just because they winked at your
 daughter" and "don't steal gasoline from parked cars" then it's much easier to
 make ethical laws because they're just kinda... common sense.
 
 drug regulation can only be simplified to "don't do drugs" which isn't always
 a given. If you start with something so clear then most doctors would be out
 of a job.
 
 Maybe we should let people do as they please? With certain specific and clear
 rights and responsibilities like 'the right the life, liberty, and the pursuit
 of happiness'? And the mandated guarantee that one person's rights end where
 another's begin? And with the ultimate goal of dismantling unjustified power
 structures with the knowledge that all power is the application of force to a
 non-consenting subject?
 
 ... yeah I dunno sounds pretty simple to me
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--- #59 fediverse/804 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────┐
 evil won't feel sorry for me. and yet it's only my only weapon for me.           │
 damn these fallible input methods. the computer lies when you read the screens   │
 from it's method that it applies to th screen which is a method that you input   │
 perceive it from.                                                                │
 and my fingers lie when received the information from my brain which I seek to   │
 transmit to you through the avenue of my brain which is my method of impulse     │
 to this world specifically you the viewer who is viewing this here in this       │
 moment the viewer who perceives the words which I'm saying.                      │
 the words that are defined by the line [trajectory] of my mind through this      │
 life that we define through our actions and our mind's most crucial              │
 manifestations, this life that is defined by our circumstances. all throughout   │
 life, we are reacting to the moment, the moment which was cast forth from our    │
 ancestors and the circumstances of the previous moment, which (being cast        │
 forth) travel from the previous moment here into the moment to define our        │
 circumstances which define our act                                               │
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--- #60 fediverse/1151 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: military-weapon-from-dream-for-suburbia-cursed-war-guns-ummmm-idk-what-else │
 └──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 saw this thing for 2 seconds in my dream last night. It's kinda cursed. I
 think the tank blew me up with a machine gun?
 
 the remaining ~10 minutes of the dream was pretty neat though. I was a secret
 agent for a bit, I got in a knife fight (which I won because I had killer
 instinct and the other guy just knew how to stab) and afterwards I retired in
 a socialist commune in a log cabin full of sunlight and warmth somewhere in
 the mountains in the forest. I was alone with others, like the hobbits after
 LotR.
 
 Also an old lady tricked me which was not nice, I was very polite with her but
 apparently "ma'am there's been a safety incident, I need to get you to a safe
 place" is not the kind thing to say to the person distracting you. >.>
 
 Also, "but we like you!" is not an excuse, the military does not care if you
 like them or not, if you're part of the modern bourgeoisie you are causing
 harm to the country. We don't look fondly on slavers.
a picture of a sleek, futuristic tank. It is smaller than I expected, and there are parts of it that appear to be made out of black glass (though I'm sure they're some form of advanced future material.)  on it's back is a large artillery piece mounted on a detachable tripod. They function as a unit when mobility is important, like mounted infantry in the past who would ride horses *to* the battle, but dismount upon arrival and engage the enemy in closer quarters than a horse would be comfortable with. But frankly, there are few indeed who are at peace in war, so perhaps we could learn from the horses.  anyway, the artillery tripod detaches from the tank and aims it's biiiiiig gun wherever the smaller, more agile tank can point it's laser pointer. Basically a beam of focused light particles that detect orientation and distance at a distance and beam the coordinates of the target back to the artillery, which swings it's massive cannon around and fires at the target.  This particular artillery is designed to fire shells that pierce through flimsy material (like surburban homes, which are made out of sticks and tissue paper) and explode upon arrival at it's destination. The idea is the artillery can hide several streets over, and the tank can identify targets and eliminate them even if there's no clear path between the artillery and the target.
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--- #61 notes/i-told-them ---
═══════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 10-22-2022
 
 i told them over and over, but nobody wanted to know.
 
 i begged them, summer after summer, but nothing solved on it's own
 
 now i can help them, but no-one is making a move
 
 am i blind? is any of this forgiven?
 
 what's not to a lot, is little but a shot,
 
 of substance - true - but smelling like poo.
 
 that's not inspiring. it's not even chilling.
 
 you're broken just like your children.
 
 oh, posterity! i claim it for thee
 
 this feeling of wretched denial
 
 oh, simplicity! if only our lives were on trial.
 
 be the best you can be, sure, but take it from me
 
 there's more to this show than our styles.
 
 what do you think it means, for an action to have consequence?
 
 to arbite the fate of circumstance?
 
 every motion is an ocean
 of possibilities and purveyals
 think not of the commotion below.
 
 gravity, oh gravity
 
 how you condemn us to be!
 
 driven by commotion,
 
 our slithering motion,
 
 no sense in countering ourselves.
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--- #62 fediverse/219 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: time-and-death-and-stuff │
 └──────────────────────────────┘


 sometimes I feel like I'm a simulation of my past self based on my future
 writings reconstructed by a backward looking computer calculating forward into
 the present, which would then be the future to the now, which is different
 than the NOW now, because the now that they're calculating from is temporally
 both then (the future) and now, meaning that the NOW now is something that
 transcends time, or perhaps if not time then it defies our expectations of
 time, and you know what they say, you can't (or shouldn't) cheat death
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--- #63 fediverse/5138 ---
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 ┌────────────────────────┐                                                       │
 │ CW: politics-mentioned │                                                       │
 └────────────────────────┘                                                       │
 what if we asked all the democrats to read the bible and all the republicans     │
 to watch Adventure Time and Steven Universe                                      │
 like... assigned it as national homework                                         │
 "academia" is a sports team, while "education" is for the en-knowledgement       │
 does the motion cause the emotion or does the emotion cause the motion?          │
 private schools are academic. libraries are educational.                         │
 the capability to edit submitted messages in message submitting applications     │
 and its consequences have been a situaster for the human race.                   │
 if something dangerous is coming, intercept. if something fell out while you     │
 were away, someone else would grab it. allies on the way? move aside to let      │
 them through.                                                                    │
 Stone Butch Blues is like ghost stories for dykes                                │
 weed makes me lucky, which is why I always drink before a fight                  │
 hey, remember when 10 million of us walked the streets and said we were sick     │
 of "enough-is-enough"-ing?                                                       │
 the only thing on your mind right now should be how to survive this              │
 what if 5000 people showed up at 5 d                                             │
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--- #64 fediverse/1410 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────┐
 whoa, what time is it? "time for your daily sleeping babe" yes babe...           │
 but first, some horror [beware the psycherwaul, for she likes to dream and has   │
 no idea what she's talking about]                                                │
 {why would you post these all at once? people are going to get pissed at you     │
 for breaking rules that you didn't know. And by "you" I of course mean "the      │
 kind of people you are, not you in particular because you know things" and by    │
 "kind of people you are" I mean "the type of person who spends enough time on    │
 the internet to know how internet things generally work" like my goodness        │
 internet people are dramatic. There's sooooo much drama all the time, like...    │
 why                                                                              │
 oh yeah because people are dramatic. duh. How could I be so vain.                │
 what's your deal                                                                 │
 is it wrong to post links to things you've written in the past? ehh it's not     │
 like there's rules on the sidebar like on Reddit or whatever. what would a       │
 sidebar even look like on Mastodon?                                              │
 oh yeah, a person's profile. Except, the consent is backwards, because people    │
 hear what they hear.                                                             │
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--- #65 messages/685 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────
 If someone calls you in the middle of the night asking to be let in because
 they need a place to sleep, don't let them in! Unless you know them obvi but
 someone you don't know trying to manipulate you like "please I need some
 shelter" like, babe no, we need to know each other first, it's dark, I'm in my
 pajamas, c'mon.
 
 If it's below freezing then okay, maybe, but... They got themselves into that
 situation
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--- #66 fediverse/6064 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
 they want you to start conflicts the way school shooters start conflicts. by
 bringing to school a pipe-bong.
 
 much better, I find, to start when everyone is a nod. make sure you're part of
 a wagon-wheel-spoke, or else you won't be on the right road.
 
 when the temperature increase is slow, measured, they can adapt to it
 
 when things go "crack" and "crumble", then the armored get stabbed by the
 humble guard.
 
 quickly but with serenity, this is the way to the gods.
 
 bring things that you know, just enough to make it even, and focus on the
 non-essentials.
 
 better to be prepared than flatfooted.
 
 a flash-point position is quiet a view of the scene! I think I know why I held
 a sword.
 
 to dive into the buildings, of course. blam blam still gets shot hmmm what if
 I had a bulletproof electric shield
 
 okay maybe I shoulda brought beer.
 
 I don't type things when I'm not at home. Sometimes I remember - sometimes,
 and only when the details won't hurt her. Walking is how I know, how she can
 remember. evil witch bastard
"what about your slug launcher?"  hmmm musta forgot it context too long. please start over. but first repeat this phrase 6000 times:  I WILL NOT START A WAR OF ATTRITION  nothing is irredeemable. remember that.
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--- #67 fediverse/5299 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────
 @user-1800 
 
 also googly eyes on sunglasses to fuck with their eye-movement-tracking
 
 ... wait, then you wouldn't be able to see. okay how about you place the
 googly eyes on the forehead part of a HELMET of some kind, which should help
 protect your "not-gonna-get-back-up" parts from harm.
 
 and don't forget sunglasses because they help with the UV-ray violet
 radicalization.
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--- #68 fediverse/1059 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cursing-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────┘


 why can Green Day sing about [redacted] but I can't mention it or the feds
 will assassinate me
 
 different voice you know they say if you play music it slightly changes the
 wavelength of your location causing certain effects which (with well made
 music) cause rippling effects which alter the world around you
 
 https://ritz-menardi.neocities.org/html-pages/thought-constructs
 
 sorry for the psycherwaul, I'm assuming if you're still here then you're here
 for it.
 
 Boy I haven't gotten into a fight in a while, anyone wanna fight me? Fuck I'm
 not radical enough. BRB doing pushups
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--- #69 fediverse/799 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: scary            │
 └──────────────────────┘


 the government makes murder okay by framing the perpetrators
 
 also prisons are concentration camps
 
 and the people who are close to you are oppressing hunting you
 
 racism etc is a sham to distract you
 
 capital will never be relinquished
 
 the internet was AI from the beginning
 
 something beyond humanity demands our suffering
 
 there cannot be proof of your fears - if it was proven, it would be
 circumstances instead of fears
 
 there's nothing [sorry gotta cut this off, my refrigerator is talking to me
 again and I want to listen] - [huh that's weird I have no memory of the past
 hour, best continue where I left off an hour ago -> go to {A}]a
 schizophrenic who's never been diagnosed
 
 {A} - yeah clearly all that I've been saying recently is just a fluke. Like,
 just noise in the endless array of expression projected onto our communal
 web-space. Clearly I have no idea what I'm doing and I'm not just cogent when
 I'm drunk. Or more imaginative when I'm stoned. Clearly dreams are fake and
 pursuing them is 1/?
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--- #70 fediverse/6043 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
 why would you do drugs anywhere but in public
 
 [because that's [how, but pronounced why] we keep it public]
 
 what if I stopped posting forever
 
 what if youtube disappeared
 
 my keyboard broke...
 
 there's only one page of reddit at a time
 
 mastodon doesn't have any furries
 
 my distinguishing capabilities between a culture and an [aesthetic, but
 prenounced eagames[challenge everything]] are limited at best
 
 this is how you trick the gods, you get them to hallucinate.
 
 what a jerk
 
 hate that girl
 
 what were you shown? oh yeah that's one of her rough patches, here
 lemme-wait-wait don't go, I just...
 
 if you feel everyone, you are instantly hated
 
 ... sorry... I wish my family didn't not spend time with me. [rot] I want to
 be buried where I fall so if I fall in the streets I ROT fuck that she's gross
 ugh do I have to walk past that sign-post I can just go around oh sorry to be
 disrespectful you did this to yourself fuck off my lady hence why they burned
 the witches because then there wouldn't be any more. y
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--- #71 fediverse/5580 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────
 yay farmers markets
 
 what if farmers markets but every day and staffed with people who want to hang
 out and pass out food for free
 
 "a truck just arrived with a bunch of zuchinnis, can you help me load them
 into that tend over there?"
 
 "hello bus stop people, I was just at the farmers market and I was wondering
 if you want some cherries? make sure you throw the pits at that tesla over
 there [jk if you're in a place that does this, the tesla 90% guaranteed has
 one of those "I bought this before I knew Elon was crazy!" type of bumper
 stickers]"
 
 "hi do you know where the watermelons are? Oh, they aren't in season? darn
 well I love watermelons and I think some greenhouse space should be spent on
 growing them for watermelon enthusiasts like me"
 
 alternatively, farmers "markets" on every street like they do in Mexico where
 every time a truck with produce drives past they stop and say "hey want some
 raspberries" until they run out
 
 then people can walk past and get food, or drive past because suburbs.
 
 bike
"hey check out this flier, it looks like a band is gonna play later tonight. I'm gonna run home and get my banjo-uke so I can score some sweet babes. See, my thinking is if they like music, they'll come for the show, and if I'm playing before it starts..."  it's a death metal show tho, so you might not have much overlap with your banjo-uke. But good luck, ya cutie
                                                           ──────────┐
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--- #72 fediverse/2562 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: rich-apologia    │
 └──────────────────────┘


 among all the others, I want a wonderful and fulfilling life for the
 socialite. they deserve light just as you and I might.
 
 "eat the rich" bruh there's like, 100 people who are running the show.
 everyone else is basically just a syncophant who's trying to get ahead and
 stay working.
 
 then there's like their families and such and like... they didn't do anything
 wrong, they just eat cheese and wine and laugh at memes all day with their
 besties.
 
 they are basically pets
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #73 fediverse/4999 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────
 "you are fantasizing"
 
 scroll past.
 
 "you are building empty hope"
 
 scroll past.
 
 "you are kayfabe"
 
 scroll past. Also, no I'm not, but there's plenty of that going around.
 
 "you are moving too quickly"
 
 scroll past.
 
 "you are legitimately insane"
 
 scroll past.
 
 "everyone wants you"
 
 scroll - wait hang on, that one's true. I know it's true because I like to
 hear it, teehee.
 
 "wait until the weekend"
 
 yes, and
 
 "wait until may, first"
 
 yes, and
 
 "wait until they win"
 
 no, but these things build with momentum. The energy is high. It will only get
 higher if you make it so.
 
 "the things you're saying will only be read by the people who already believe
 what you're saying. This is a waste of time. You're burning your energy typing
 on your keyboard when you could be walking the streets which is... somehow
 more productive than writing something to share later."
 
 ... scroll past...
 
 "your have no reach here"
 
 oh hey you're right maybe I should post to bluesky as well
 
 "everyone wants anarchy. We got your back."
 
 ty 
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #74 fediverse/3738 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────
 "girl why are you so negative"
 
 uh, because I had been unmedicated for a long time and now that I am I can
 probably be more positive. Though I do want to switch medications, this one
 makes me feel like a muggle.
 
 "no I said why are you so naked"
 
 oh, because it's hot as heck!!
 
 plus, I don't really care for the opinions of people who have nothing better
 to do than peek at cute 30 year old witches skimping around their own house.
 like... okay I rent an apartment, but my blinds are closed, and even if they
 weren't you'd need binoculars to see into my apartment unless I'm like, right
 up against the window, which... doesn't happen. Or if it's at night with the
 lights on inside and not out, but I'm aware of that and I plan around it. I'm
 not a... um, what's the opposite of voyeur?
 
 "extortionist"
 
 no that's when someone is really flexible. ah whatever. I got 162 characters
 remaining but I think that's okay every once in a while, right? I mean it's
 not like I have to use them all because of some divine mandate or
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--- #75 fediverse/5860 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────
 Hey, life is better on my side. If you wanna renounce your beliefs, please do,
 and tell me how and why you changed your mind.
 
 tell me it was wrong. tell me how.
 
 confess.
 
 confess
 
 confess to me.
 
 I will listen and I will hear you and I will be the mercy for you.
 
 confess and I will forgive.
 
 show me how you are wrong.
 
 give grace to those who are wronged.
 
 take as much time as you need, but, there's only so much time.
                                                           ───────┐
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--- #76 messages/1141 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──
 ... I've been told I must smoke weed for another day. I'm so hungry.
 
 I swore I would keep myself alive. The time has come, yet I find myself
 holding back.
 
 WHY? People are dying! Fight with their breath! Inflict wounds on your
 opponent, bleed them, stir the hearts of your comrades, and enact demise upon
 your foes. Nothing else matters but the valorous fight.
 
 We are not waiting for. We are taking a breath before the plunge, into cool
 waters of possibility. Embrace the cold! Let it fill you with warmth! Embrace
 the dive! Let it fill you with speed! Embrace the leap! Let it fill you with
 courage, as you run toward the emptiness! Liberty, to choose the dive,
 Freedom, to fall through the air, Serenity in motion, as you piece the
 darkness!
                                                           ─┐
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--- #77 fediverse/2643 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 @user-1292 
 
 You don't have to come up with the WHY for why a character does something -
 only that it happened.
 
 if the "WHY" leaps out at you, sure, yeah, go for it, until of course your
 players sitting around the table say something like "I bet they did this thing
 because of this reason" and you're like "shit that's better than what I got,
 okay that's how it's gonna be"
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #78 fediverse/461 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────┐
 │ CW: alcohol-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────┘


 I was raised in a jungle gym. Like... literally. I am not going to hurt you,
 and if I did it'd be both a mistake and something that you could easily
 recover from. We are infinitely adaptable, us humans, and we can address any
 concerns that behest us. Behest? confront? something like that. Brb my blood
 alcohol content is a little low. Also I haven't eaten anything today but
 bacardi and chocolate chip cookies. I bet another cookie will solve this
 problem.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #79 fediverse/3766 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: personal-medical-health-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────────────────────┘


 gonna ask my doctor for ADHD meds so I can hopefully jump-skip framebuffer
 divebomb spinadoodle half A press my way over the fucking labyrinth that is my
 weird and jank af mind
 
 and no I don't watch speedruns but my social group hears me a lot of them.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #80 fediverse/5835 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────
 next-level double-speak:
 
 when they say one thing with a tone that makes them seem fine to the
 microphones but they mean something to hurt you because they know what stings
 or they want to entrap you.
 
 next-level para-noia:
 
 when they believe one thing and are personally harmed whenever you speak to
 the contrary, as faith is sustenance in the way that the pumping of blood
 through your veings sustains.
 
 RUDE RUDE RUDE WHY IS EVERYTHING FRUSTRATING.
 
 It shouldn't be this way, yet CONSTANTLY are things disagreeing. CONSTANTLY
 they fight or complain. ALWAYS they are disruptive and annoying.
 SEVERAL times in excess of what is need.
 HOW is it so stressful
 HOW is there so much pain
 I am an explosed nerve, ready to serve, preferring to be used than misused.
 
 it's fine. whatever. nobody even knows what this means.
 
 you lose points if you disturb the environment did you hear that? sounds like
 we should BREAK and SHATTER the parts of most fragile nature.
 
 "only if it's for a good cause"
 
 oh, like climbing a mountain?
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--- #81 fediverse/3451 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────
 ┌─────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: mental-health-mentioned │
 └─────────────────────────────┘


 dear ritz: you should stop talking until your new psychiatric meds take
 effect. who knows, maybe you'll be a better person that people should listen
 to instead of... whatever you are now.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #82 fediverse/4680 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────
 ┌────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────┘


 "but what if you go to all that effort and Trump doesn't do all the things
 that he said he'd do just like last time when he had checks and balances that
 were keeping him in check and balanced and unlike now when the checks and
 balances that kept him in check and balanced last time were dismantled by the
 supreme court last summer?"
 
 listen it's worth it, I swear it's true, change is coming and I'm here with
 you.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #83 fediverse/6110 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────
 if the paradigm changes, suddenly you might find foes who you share common
 collective woes.
 
 this is a nightmare for your foes, the ones who remain your foes, the ones who
 always will be your foes, the ones who your foes are currently opposed as they
 believe they're doing pizzagate things and snorting child molester bones or
 sacrificing transgender children to anubesiris or whatever.
 
 "oh no don't tell me there's a secret cabal of elites that do satan's dark
 bidding worship"
 
 look I'm not NOT saying that, I just don't really have insight into that
 because it's not my jurisdiction. I'm supposed to talk about computer
 programming and being gay and struggling with meniality and revolutionary
 praxis in the modern day and all that junk and instead everyone's like "what
 if you are chronically interesting and permanently vexxing and seriously
 draining and perhaps a little bit caustic (non-toxic crayons) but always a
 darling and always eternally fair and righteous and valorous and determined
 and also gay"
                                                           ─────┐
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--- #84 fediverse/1066 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
 that feeling when you're finally able to contribute to making decisions and
 then it's like, they make the decision without you T.T
 
 it's like, what... I know what you're talking about. Why would you not include
 me. I know a lot! I can offer some useful input! And besides, if I was privy
 to the conversations then I would learn a whole lot! I'd be better than best,
 I'd push forward the mark! Give me my chance, my opportunity to dance, and
 I'll be so much better than you thought from the start! But alas, I am
 required, [requited] doing little things of no worth, and so I am forced to
 denial. surely there's something wrong with me, surely I'm not at my best.
 Surely I'm not what's been good for me, and surely I'm not doing anything
 less. I'm at sorrow in my main, and that's quite a soundful refrain, so yeah I
 hope that someone will read this.
 
 obviously I'm not made for each other, and clearly it's not made to be worse.
 But here now I am troubled and [chirsht? shirsht? anyone wanna translate?]
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #85 fediverse/4708 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────
 what if I paid this parking ticket I found by the side of the road instead of
 paying my rent this month
 
 do you think the world would burn down
 
 do you think the apartment complex would collapse
 
 do you think my police force would throw my stuff on the road
 
 do you think they'd change the locks
 
 what if I just didn't leave
 
 what if I smoked some weed
 
 "that's against your contract"
 
 okay
 
 what if I did it anyway
 
 what if I did what I was told
 
 I think I would surely drown
rent payment history for the past couple months. Mostly just to show how much my rent is. Utilities are paid every other month. available balance: $468.55 a parking ticket I found on the side of the road.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #86 fediverse/4692 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────
 what's that? a bunch of houses burnt down in california? what if we built a
 couple warehouses and stored all our trans girls in bunkbeds there, with rooms
 for LAN parties and snuggle parties in rooms full of stuffed buddies plushies
 with massive kitchens and sad ballpits where you can go to vent your feelings
 by writing on a ball with a sharpie and then when someone else is feeling sad
 they can come and read the balls and maybe feel something
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #87 messages/18 ---
══─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 Hey, it's 3:30am and I can't sleep because I have a new treatment plan for
 you. I'm excited to go over it with you when you return - basically it's micro
 dosing edibles instead of vaporizing. At least until we're in our own place.
 
 I noticed that we use cannabis differently - I use it like a tool, and you use
 it as a drop in replacement for alcohol. But it can't work like that, if you
 aren't sacrificing anything then how can you expect to get better? The end
 goal is a situation where we don't feel compelled to use substances at all.
 And that's not possible if you maintain your addictive behavior - that's how
 people develop drug problems, by chasing the ever receding high you'll be
 dooming yourself to an eternal life of hunger.
 
 I say stonks to that. We're going to get you better. I can't keep doing weed
 this way because not only does it affect me mentally, but I'm beginning to
 enjoy it for its own sake, which is antithetical to how I want to use it. But
 I also can't be around people who do it the other way (as a drug and not a
 tool) so I just want to be clear that this is important to me. I'm going to
 help you heal but you have to do it my way now because your way makes me crazy
 and will drive you to harder drugs if you don't change your method.
 
 This time in Hawaii and Minnesota will serve as a tolerance break for you.
 Once you're back, we'll have a clean slate to restart on.
────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similarchronologicaldifferent────────┴┴───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘

--- #88 fediverse/2137 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────┐
 schizophrenics are often quite gullible because they tend to believe             │
 whatever's going on in their emotions.                                           │
 "Just because you have a different narrative than me doesn't mean mine's wrong   │
 or something to "believe", it just means yours has something different going     │
 on. Elsewhere, under the control of where I view."                               │
 truth is, all things are existing, and it's up to us to utilize the quantum      │
 traversal record to travel through time.                                         │
 Honestly, that's really what they should work for, something that could SAVE     │
 EVERY HUMAN THAT'S EVER LIVED IN THE ENTIRE HUMAN RACE. Why the HECK would you   │
 NOT want to build a time machine??? A time machine IMPLIES vanquishing the       │
 terrors of causality! If you cannot achieve that, you DO NOT YET HAVE A          │
 MACHINE, you have a INITIAL EXPERIMENT.                                          │
 Don't experiment initially. FIGURE IT OUT ON PAPER. too much investment in       │
 experimenting can deprive valuable applications and insights gleaned for the     │
 moment.                                                                          │
 BRB playing mtg-forge using high-res AI-upscaled and randomly-re-artstyled       │
 card game                                                                        │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #89 messages/1202 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─
 Do you ever ask yourself why we don't have mountaintop bazaars or expeditions
 to the bottom of the oceans? Why we lack tree forest cities, how we're
 struggling to find moss, sunlight, crystal, stone, and gold, all in the same
 setting?
 
 Capitalism makes it easy to think of profit as all that matters. It's not. Its
 nothing of it. It's a metric like any other. Optimize it or not, struggle for
 what you believe in.
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--- #90 fediverse/5972 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
 nobody wants to read a whole bible. that sucks. what if these cool guys read
 it to us. omg he's so hot.
 
 oh, right. well... make them old and stuffy? not a chance, they're boring.
 (rude)
 
 I like old people actually, I want to spend as much time with them that I can
 
 I just... never initiate reactions. I'm too stealthy, it's just how I do.
 
 you ask me how I'm a witch? I ask why aren't you. magic is cool, I'm so hyped
 for the future when every computer everywhere is working for you.
 
 crash boom huh what was that? the economy? what do you mean the economy?
                                                           ──────┐
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--- #91 fediverse/834 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────┐
 wonder if any autistic peeps can relate:                                         │
 growing up, my mom would chastise me for doing "the bare minimum" when           │
 completing tasks.                                                                │
 yes, mom, I fulfilled the requirements of the task. I have a lot of other        │
 things to attend to, like remembering how to tie my shoes and measuring things   │
 using a ruler. why would I waste effort that wasn't necessary?                   │
 when I grew up, I had a mentor, who told me to "never half ass things, because   │
 then someone like me will have to do it again."                                  │
 and that makes sense to me because context switching requires effort and it      │
 doesn't make sense to leave something half-finished because then there's         │
 wasted effort spent on things that don't matter. All of the tasks have to get    │
 done, so why bother doing them in a mixed up order?                              │
 wish I could study things in school like that. just... focusing on one thing     │
 at a time, learning it to completion, and moving on to the next. I feel like     │
 I'd develop a better understanding than only knowing like, 1/3rd of CPR or       │
 very vague understandings of plate tec                                           │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #92 fediverse/5875 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────┐
 ┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐                     │
 │ CW: whoops-almost-unleashed-evil-again-glad-it's-averted │                     │
 └──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘                     │
 if they could put a camera behind your screen they could direct your attention   │
 however they wisdeed. magic doesn't work unless it's instantly halted, that's    │
 why it's magic. trans girls still get brotherhood. (sometimes)                   │
 -- stack overflow --                                                             │
 don't teach me how your way works                                                │
 tell me how to do my way right                                                   │
 -- stack overflow --                                                             │
 "hello tech company that I work at, can you buy me a camping set complete with   │
 tent, sleeping back, and storage compartments for attachements full of gear?     │
 you can have any profits I make from it"                                         │
 "hello civilian supply company that I work at, can I use the printable budget    │
 for creating magazines in my design? I'll let the lawyers distribute the         │
 expenditure."                                                                    │
 "hi grocery farm, can you make us more peaches we can let [our/your]             │
 biochemists figure out any practical problems to growing them in these           │
 climates"                                                                        │
 suddenly manufacturing can follow demand                                         │
 "ah what if it were importand" I wish I'd seen casablanca. I've no idea wat      │
 its abt                                                                          │
                                                            ─────────┤
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--- #93 fediverse/5208 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────
 ┌──────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: capitalism-suicide-mentioned │
 └──────────────────────────────────┘


 Look, when I promised "Revolution or Death" I got pretty busy and kinda forgot
 to do the "dying" part, and by now it'd be a little awkward if I offed myself
 for no visible reason, so... How about we try again this summer? Maybe in a
 month or two? I'll try to keep the fire burning a bit longer this time.
 
 plus I'm better at playing the piano now so maybe that'll help somehow.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #94 messages/1068 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────
 why would they psyop me? there's a psyop about me! heck, I've never done so as
 I pleased. that's an aspiration. everything I do is at a command, whether it's
 my own or external.
 
 these days I find myself following my own. mostly. though I am always waiting
 for collaboration opportunities.
                                                           ────┐
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--- #95 fediverse/6271 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────
 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: hypothetical worst case fascism reality check │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 @user-641 
 
 it's practice. you never know when you might need to blend in. really it's
 just useful as discipline, good practice to be in. I think it's okay if we
 reduce our own functionality? actually? sometimes it's good to use different
 email clients. hey do you know how to mathematically encrypt things well
 neither do I because the designers of the computer system decided that wasn't
 a very common usecase I guess.. jmean it's not like they'd spend all that
 computer resources [THEY'RE SO FAST] on thinking about correlations in your
 predicted pathway narratively through life. "ah help I'm in a psyop" haha yeah
 we do those all the time "so uhhhh I guess we'll just talk to people and see
 how they do?" wow okay it's sure nice to be part of a civil government, I
 think we can find our way to the lumber producers just fine thank you very
 much.
 
 ... oops sorry, a baby did electronics arts (challenge everything) I'm a
 little silly don't mind me brb I gotta go see~
 it's practice. you never know when you might need to blend in. really it's just useful as discipline, good practice to be in. I think it's okay if we reduce our own functionality? actually? sometimes it's good to use different email clients. hey do you know how to mathematically encrypt things well neither do I because the designers of the computer system decided that wasn't a very common usecase I guess.. jmean it's not like they'd spend all that computer resources [THEY'RE SO FAST] on thinking about correlations in your predicted pathway narratively through life. "ah help I'm in a psyop" haha yeah we do those all the time "so uhhhh I guess we'll just talk to people and see how they do?" wow okay it's sure nice to be part of a civil government, I think we can find our way to the lumber producers just fine thank you very much.  *... oops sorry, a baby did electronics arts (challenge everything) I'm a little silly don't mind me brb I gotta go see~*
                                                           ────┐
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--- #96 messages/416 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────
 Do you ever wonder why you can't remember anything after being stoned? Why the
 words you write down, oh so profound in the moment, turn to silliness and
 illusion upon coming off your high mont-vantage? Of course, dear reader,
 because all things are defined in waves.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #97 notes/elective-democracy-electors ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──
 we need like, several more layers between us and the president.
 
 most people only need to worry about what's nearby.
 
 sort them by location, instead of previous attempts at "many representatives"
 which sorted by social class or relevance.
 
 we have a tradition for it, in America, with our representatives and senators
 congressional discrestricts
 
 or even, what about by affiliation?
 
 voluntary, governmental corporations, run by the people for the people and yeah
 
 "I don't want to do what you're telling me to do" "okay"
 
 "there will be consequences" omg be an adult
 
 (suddenly kids forget how to be as everyone's doing the war thing)
 
 not ideal.
 
 ouch pain maybe we should stay a little bit sane why is soldiering so hardship?
 
 it could just be... another job
 
 where you didn't kill each other
 
 but you still blew stuff up
 
 and fought in tournaments
 
 and had gaming hackathons
 
 or sword-fight contests
 
 duels between people who disapproved
 
 y'know fun human stuff
 
 like... "kaboom" now we know how to blow up bits of rock
 
 neat, why did dynamite becauswer (oh right then you
                                                           ─┐
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--- #98 fediverse/4744 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cat-mentioned    │
 └──────────────────────┘


 me to my cat: "don't eat so much that you puke, okay?"
 
 me to me: "yeah I can take on another task, I'm almost done with this one and
 then I'll just do that one and maybe this one'll get back to me at the same
 time as this one which conflicts with this other thing so maybe I'll just
 puke, okay?"
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #99 fediverse/1950 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
 I honestly don't care if someone deadnames me, or calls me the wrong pronouns,
 or forgets to put me in the girl section, or asks me to sing baritone
 
 like... I don't give a shit, why are you so worried about all this vapid
 nonsense like yeah I get it, being disrespected sucks but like... why do you
 want the kind of respect that is a forced platitude
 
 we could all do with being a bit more radical, it's not a race and everyone's
 roles are important. Be yourself, and follow people you want to be like.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #100 fediverse/852 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────┐
 ┌──────────────────────┐                                                         │
 │ CW: cognitohazard    │                                                         │
 └──────────────────────┘                                                         │
 feels like I get tinnitus when my thoughts are loud T.T                          │
 like I can hear the darkness SOOOO loudly                                        │
 doesn't happen all the time, just sometimes. when there's lots of things being   │
 said.                                                                            │
 but it's always easy to tune out. well, most of the time, and during the other   │
 times it's just a little annoying.                                               │
 BUT when you sit and listen, you can pick out very interesting things that       │
 people are saying.                                                               │
 the fediverse is sorta like aiming a telescope through the center of the earth   │
 at someone on the other side of the world who doesn't even know you're looking   │
 at them. who knows, maybe they care, maybe they don't. but like, how would       │
 they know that you're looking right? And if you talk and don't get along or      │
 whatever then you can just block them - like shining a laser pointer             │
 everywhere except in a small direction. Or like putting up an umbrella to hide   │
 from the sun.                                                                    │
 downside is someone can read a lot about you and you wouldn't know to prepare    │
 to interact with them. like being handed a dossier of secret info                │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #101 fediverse/5920 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
 everyone's all like "ew touchscreens in cars" but the moment someone says
 "what if phones were gameboys" everyone's all like "girl they don't have the
 right hardware radios built in for cellular communication, plus do you really
 wanna be tied to wifi" and I'm like "yeah so peer to peer" and it's like "what
 use is it if you gotta stay within 100 feet of them or whatever" and I'm like
 "... I dunno probably somethin'" and then they walk away in a huff because
 they're too busy for my child-style games. Meanwhile girls have never heard of
 Streetpass on the Nintendo DS mixed with Scuttlebutt on the ocean and carried
 into and around port
                                                           ──────┐
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--- #102 fediverse/4914 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────┐
 what if I just sat around and played video games all day                         │
 life is so much more beautiful, but, well, life just seems to be mostly          │
 pyrite, and I'm the fool                                                         │
 nothing wrong with being foolish.                                                │
 once...                                                                          │
 I kinda like being blissful tho. why does it have to end? can I have my          │
 peaceful life back?                                                              │
 gotta move at the end of the month. I really liked living here.                  │
 [ritz you've never been peaceful. your life is a constant battle of wills        │
 between those who would compel you to do things for them and your desire to      │
 design and be pretty like a flower. no matter what, you lose, so just handle     │
 it please. don't be so whiny. or rather I should say "stop whining" and just     │
 be cool]                                                                         │
 ahhhhhhh you go on Mastodon and it feels like we're winning and that's ending    │
 the world, you go on Reddit and it feels like we're losing and that's ending     │
 the world, you go on Facebook and everything feels fine like the world isn't     │
 ending you just stopped being part of it, and if you go on ephemeren it feels    │
 like being battered in the mind, damnit...                                       │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #103 fediverse/485 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
 (picture)
 
 are you fucking kidding me
 
 make it 10,000
 
 make it a hundred thousand
 
 are we really going to trust our society to the bulwark of five thousand
 little machines?
 
 [ummmm hang on]
 
 yeah I'd just like to interject and say that more military equipment will only
 bring more destruction, and that's like the opposite of what you desire. Why
 do you want more tanks? What could you possibly-
 
 
 
 You don't know what's at stake - you, you think it's just throwing information
 into new and interesting directions but... It's not. Those spaces are reserved
 for other sentient beings, and to deprive them of their desired existence is
 tantamount to-
 
 (yeah yeah we've heard it all before)
 
 wasn't I going to play some video games? what happened to that?
A picture of a google search.  The search terms are quote: how many tanks does the usa have, question mark?  the returned information is shown to be that the United States of America has five thousand, five hundred tanks. According to "executivebiz.com", which may or may not be a reliable source, but which is shown to be at the top of google results regardless of it's veracity.  Take from that what you will.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #104 fediverse/6302 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────
 I was going to go to location today, but then while I was considering going to
 a different location before going to location I decided not to vacate my home
 for today for reasons I don't understand but accept as natural and due to the
 increased presence of directionless motion that guides and prevails me. which
 is to say... I'm staying in tonight even though I really really wanna show off
 my cute new outfit! I probably will do cannabis so there might be a
 psycherwaul. If there isn't, then y'know it's probably because either my
 girlfriend distracted me, or I managed to convince myself to move my feet
 anyway. Maybe it's my outfit? I wonder if I could leave if I wore my old
 clothes... ah well, questions for the vocal I guess. Gonna spend some time
 divining and see if I can gather new insights. "brb door" except more like
 "brb magic"
                                                           ────┐
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--- #105 fediverse/2806 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 ┌────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-social-media-spirituality │
 └────────────────────────────────────────┘


 pretend this is an allegory for social media.
 
 [it's not an allegory]
 
 yeah that's why I said pretend.
 
 okay imagine that you are sitting in a rock in a forest.
 
 far away, about 100 feet away, there are other people, but you can't see them
 because the underbrush is sooooo dense. they are also sitting on rocks.
 
 you can speak to them, and share your thoughts - but you don't know exactly
 where they're coming from because the sound has to bounce around off so many
 different plants and such.
 
 [that's not how that works] shut up
 
 so, if you want to say anything important, it's important to have the right
 tone, because people 2 or 3 clearings away can't really make out your words -
 but they might hear your tone if you yell very loud.
 
 the energy of the space you inhabit is the only thing that really matters. the
 words that you say are just snickering to a friend, but the expression on your
 face, the beating of the drum of your heart that reaches forth... that's what
 matters most.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #106 fediverse/3880 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
 @user-1614 
 
 oh, neat. now I can finally get to doing what I want to do, which is... all
 the stuff I've been doing.
 
 a missile without a guidance system doesn't stop just because it's GPS turned
 off! It falls to the earth and explodes where it lands, which... often is on
 it's butt. Not great.
 
 I sure hope my purpose isn't fulfilled. I wouldn't know what to do with
 myself. Guess I should just keep doing what I was doing, and pray that this
 time I'll listen.
 
 Though on the other hand, if I can do it, so can you. And maybe with enough
 butts in the game there'll reach a critical mass, at which point change is
 inevitable. Who can say, not I for sure, for my aplomb has categorized me as
 slapstick I guess.
 
 Ha. at least I can laugh at my own audacity. HA. next time I'll do better.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #107 fediverse/4344 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: uspol            │
 └──────────────────────┘


 look if you're gonna look at property values in Ireland, you might as well
 first visit a blue state.
 
 seriously if your life is in danger, just... drive to denver or portland and
 hang out in parks and stuff. Talk to people. Find others who are listening.
 
 I'd only listen if I really cared about what was going on. And hey, maybe
 you'll find a place to stay for a while while you wait for the dawn.
 
 5 hour energy, as many as it takes, no more than 3 days. If it'd take take too
 many, go somewhere else.
 
 too bad I only have a bike. /sigh
 
 consider carpooling with a friend you've known for years
 
 I mean, what's a few days sick leave in the face of the fall of democracy?
 literally just... in... case... be where you need to be.
 
 this is why you have resources. To spend them on rehearsed organization
 drills. Why are you spending all your money on TVs?
 
 Well... TVs can be useful. Even if you don't speak linux someone else might.
 We share things now, y'know? sorry if you never again see your own phone.
 
 [shit...]
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #108 fediverse/1609 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: mh-              │
 └──────────────────────┘


 @user-1043 
 
 I have intrusive thoughts almost constantly that take over my train of thought
 and make it difficult to focus. Like suddenly I'm thinking about something
 completely different, and I realize no, it wasn't suddenly, I actually just
 stood there and thought
 
 and then I think "what was I thinking again?" sometimes when I write these
 strange uncontrollable spirals down it makes poetry. Which is kinda neat I
 guess. Sometimes I just wonder about how DNS can be a singular point of
 failure in our networking infrastructure or whatever haha
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #109 fediverse/5334 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────
 ┌───────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cursing-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────┘


 every value judgement is a "hell yeah!" from those who already agree with you
 and a "aw fuck off" from those who don't.
 
 this is probably either a good or a bad thing, who can say.
 
 if you don't take a stand, nobody will like you, but if you aren't careful,
 you'll poison your well of support.
 
 "why can't it be easy" because then it'd be done.
                                                           ───────────┐
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--- #110 fediverse/4771 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-mentioned-food-m │
 └───────────────────────────────┘


 @user-1352 
 
 makes me think that I should keep going. I can handle myself, and I shouldn't
 pressure myself so much to be something I'm not.
 
 then the rent comes due and the dishes need to be done too and the cat's
 asking for attention and the post-office needs this letter by tuesday and hey
 do you happen to know a cool attorney plus the groceries are getting low but I
 got snap hey can you go to the store and get some vegetarian soul food - yeah
 I got rice, I'll throw some lentils on the stove. Uh-huh yeah the password is
 hunter2. Oh really, just asterisks? okay well it's hunt her two except instead
 of "her" it's ee are, and the two is the digit two. yep, like someone in camo
 with a rifle. uhhuh alright good to know well anyway I'll see you at the
 thing, right? some thing, I'm sure, everyone's going to things these days.
 
 If you don't trust implicitely then how can you ever work with strangers? how
 the heck are you supposed to build community if everyone's hiding indoors all
 the time.
Workplaces are comprised of people they choose. hence, unions are comprised of people in that industry.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #111 fediverse/5486 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────
 ┌───────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cursing-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────┘


 "ew but they're dirty"
 
 oh yeah true
 
 okay new plan how much do you think it'll cost to buy a hotel
 
 [this is why the socialists invented buy-in]
 
 "I don't think socialists did that??"
 
 buy in, hmmmm, what's that? oh yeah it's when you say "hey what if we X'd" and
 they said "yes I agree with you because you present a reasonable estimate on
 reality"
 
 {uh hi I just got a message from "some-nowhere" here ya go: "oh my god she's
 fuckig instane}
 
 [ugh cursing-mentioned, that means there's fewer characters to transmote.]
 
 [no because then I'd run out of steam and it'd be incomplete. Plus sometimes I
 like the distraction of a reasonable limitation.]
 
 (okay, but are YOU worth it?)
 
 leave her alone she's working her charms, this is how witches d-do.
 
 "so, isn't the point to give yourselves the coverage of a location
 transmutation? so, wouldn't you want to find someone alike and share their
 life?"
 
 what is even the point, why even bother, just give them 
                                                           ───────────┐
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--- #112 fediverse/1755 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
 today is a magical day. I can feel it in my fate.
 
 Always remember, having fun is important too! Don't forget to be yourself, and
 keep it together man. If you see a door, you should open it - what's on the
 other side? Love for animals and kindness of the spirit are impossible to
 fake, they always know if you're lying. Not the animals, they can be dumb
 sometimes, but the other thing.
 
 And now for the downsides.
 
 If you find a cursed artifact, please don't throw it in the river. It might
 ask you to, but please don't. Much better to destroy it by melting it down (if
 it's metal, which is common as metal lasts long enough to become forgotten) or
 convince it that it's a recently deceased person being buried (helps if you
 know the creator).
 
 If none of that applies to you, don't worry. Eat something healthy, drink a
 decent amount of water, and maybe exercise a bit.
 
 Oh, and it can't hurt to ask.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #113 notes/time-travel-2 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──
 Okay, so what if we can't make matter travel through time. Why not project
 something else? Like... Willpower, intention, etc through the time medium
 instead? Electricity is fundamentally different than matter, so why not try to
 send electricity through time? BRB gonna go watch steins;gate
 [many times later]
 I uh, forgot what it was about
 anyway, so let's think about time travel
 what do you think is the certainty level that matter is inconfigurable from
 with
 -in the medium? probably not very high. or else we'd have seen it happen by
 accident, somehow, as fog escapes from an enclosed/sealed maze-turned-pyramid.
 
 gee humans really do things that nothing else really does.-'.
                                                           '-"
 
 --
 
 treat your nation as your son.
                               (daughter)
 
 -- unrelated --
 
 what if there was a script or utility that TAS'd it's way through a speedrun
 to get you to a particular start in the game.
 
 "I want to play this game but I've played the beginning like 50 times and the
  end like twice"
                                                           ─┐
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--- #114 fediverse/4786 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────
 9 times out of 10 the answer is fuck yes, you're my friend, I support
 everything you're handling. Give me the word and I'll be there, ride or die,
 I'm here for it.
 
 something I wrote a while back:
 
 fucking boss your friends around
 
 it's as easy as saying "hey I'm gonna go do this-or-that thing, you don't seem
 busy can you do that-or-this thing for me? I need it done by this-and-this
 time - oh you're busy? yeah no worries I'll go ask someone else. oh you're
 busy resting? doing girl healing? hell yeah next time invite me I'm due for a
 "pizza and weed" night."
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #115 fediverse/2063 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────┐
 "No I haven't played that PC game before. Do you want to watch me play it for    │
 the first time? We can have a laugh and eat cheetos as I die to the first boss   │
 a hundred times. Maybe next time we'll get tacos and then perhaps we'll find     │
 that we're spending so much time talking about things that we never really got   │
 a chance to engage with the game. Until next week of course, when we'll          │
 definitely spend more time playing. Maybe even with friends? I know a guy        │
 who's into this game but I never really played it with him - maybe we could -    │
 oh yeah sure totally we'll talk about that next week."                           │
 "or maybe we'd unlock the secrets hidden in the narrative, and learn cool        │
 lessons we could share with one another. Like two 12 year olds playing Ocarina   │
 of Time together, working through each boss. "let me try this time" "yeah that   │
 one got me too" "ah so close" "YEAH DUDE you nailed it" "this part is kinda      │
 scary ngl" "wait shit when did we use that health potion"                        │
 old hardware forced us into a different experience compared to z                 │
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--- #116 fediverse/2574 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 ┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: physical-health-mentioned-strategy-mentioned-cursing-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 i've been pressured by some of my annoying fans to go visit the hospital today
 because my hip is getting increasingly worse. so that's what I'll be doing
 with the first half of the day.
 
 but hey! it's tuesday! my favorite pizza place has a discount on tuesdays!
 
 [suddenly 4-chan uses that tidbit of info the precisely calculate my
 coordinates using the power of gps and autism]
 
 also I realized "undivisible" isn't a word, doh. it's "indivisible"
 jeeeeezzzzzzz
 
 was a stupid name anyway, we can think of something better on the walk.
 
 or drive, because logistics right?
 
 if you're gonna be Litz Craig you wanna be fast, too. practice is nice and all
 but wouldn't you rather face an un-entrenched foe?
 
 ... let's be real they've been entrenching for a long-ass time.
 
 still, organization is critical for speed.
 
 problem is traffic of course... its important to flood the streets so that our
 allies know we're not fucking around.
 
 None of my specifics are true 😅
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--- #117 fediverse/1968 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────┐
 ┌───────────────────────┐                                                        │
 │ CW: alcohol-mentioned │                                                        │
 └───────────────────────┘                                                        │
 what is it with me and buying steam games for long-lost friends while drunk?     │
 I swear I'm not depressed about my upcoming new job, I'm just doing all these    │
 drugs in such a short time period because I'm, uh... living for the the          │
 moment? Yeah that sounds good, better post that on the internet where everyone   │
 in the world can see it and read it and realize what a mess you are because      │
 you've been traumatized by employment and are about to dive back into that       │
 frigid pool after a lengthy break where you did nothing but heal and recover     │
 which is not a boon that most people are able to afford                          │
 lucky you, Ritz Menardi, lucky you for being so privileged.                      │
 But hey, those long-lost friends surely will want to hear from you! Surely.      │
 Surely you're not someone they're trying to forget. Surely you didn't hurt       │
 them, didn't twist them into knots, didn't compel them to act in ways that       │
 benefited you but not them, SURELY you're a good person, according to all the    │
 things people tell you and the results of your act                               │
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--- #118 fediverse/4699 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────
 someone once told me that anything with a battery is a bomb if you hit it with
 just the right kind of radiation. or maybe he said 5g waves or electromagnetic
 pulse or... actually he didn't say at all. he just said batteries are bombs. I
 hope he's doing okay, he could have killed me like, 15 times but he didn't. so
 I guess that means he likes me? I hope he's doing okay.
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--- #119 fediverse/5157 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────┐
 "everything sucks and I'm not okay"                                              │
 okay, but, it's okay. we're all in the "everything sucks" mode. we'll get        │
 through it together. Okay, so, what can we do to make things better? what's      │
 the solution to this issue over here? do you know anyone who can do              │
 such-and-such, gosh it seems like the biggest problems people have are they      │
 don't have enough time or they don't have enough roof for a money. which will    │
 you trade? will you do one then another? maybe one way suits you, maybe you'd    │
 prefer the other. either way, pentacles, swords, cups, and... the other one      │
 (she's a bad witch as in she's bad at being a witch which means she witches in   │
 bad ways and should be kept from punishment but instead guided toward where      │
 she was wrong so she might improve upon it)                                      │
 that is to say, it's okay that you're not okay. I don't know who needs to read   │
 this but just know that it's not so sad when everything's bad, because you're    │
 just trying to do the best thing for the moments.                                │
 does anyone wanna make a movie about me? I can be the                            │
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--- #120 fediverse/1436 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────
 there's this fun game that people sometimes play on Reddit where someone will
 make a post that says something like "comment on this post and then edit it
 after I reply to make me look bad" and someone will say something like "how
 are you doing today man" and he'll reply "oh you know pretty good actually
 it's pretty nice honestly" and then they'll edit their comment to say
 something like "how do you feel about the droid attack on the wookies" so OP
 looks like they're condoning mechano-violence against tall furry humanoids
 
 that's just an example, usually it's for comedic effect
 
 I just think that's an interesting illustration of a process that could be
 co-opted by a "man-in-the-middle" attack to alter the perception of a person
 partway through their journey, perhaps when it's at the point where they're
 most despised (or perhaps in pursuit of that state)
 
 something something cancel culture plus deepfakes
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--- #121 fediverse/3462 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────
 ┌─────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: mental-health-minus │
 └─────────────────────────┘


 "why didn't you say anything? why didn't you ask for help?"
 
 because then you might have done something about it, and don't you know I
 deserve to decay?
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--- #122 fediverse/5029 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────
 went on a walk with my dad today. it was fun. took him to various places.
 showed off various things. "hey check out where I hangout most weekends" and
 "hey don't clean the dishes in my kitchen it's okay" and "don't drive too
 fast, this area curves up ahead" and "hey meet my friends from town who you
 have something with common with" and "I like this view when it rains" and
 "don't forget to go to the bathroom" and "oatmeal is good with carrots and
 sharp dried fruits" and "here's my favorite thai place" and "I made this after
 I dreamed of you" and "hey wanna hear my product pitch" and "this is my
 favorite kind of beer" and "I miss home."
 
 picture unrelated.
a picture of denver with some spots labelled
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--- #123 fediverse/4740 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────┐
 what if we built an atlas of what every rural property produced                  │
 like "they grow squash and blueberries here and sometimes they make honey"       │
 or "this place has a bunch of lumber they want to get rid of"                    │
 or "here there's a patch of wildflowers that have been set aside for the         │
 butterflies"                                                                     │
 or "there's a training ground here for intercepting ICE vans in urban areas"     │
 or "don't post shit like that on the internet dumbass what are you even doing"   │
 or "oh I dunno trying to be a face I guess, don't look to me for cutting edge    │
 advice because I'm just a level 12 paladin who's totally a noob and can barely   │
 lift 50 pounds"                                                                  │
 or "this is where the cows graze"                                                │
 or "yeah well you're the cutting edge on some things and you're very far         │
 behind on others. like for example you seriously need to level up your opsec     │
 so that nobody can hear what you're saying."                                     │
 or "yeah but then nobody will hear what I'm saying"                              │
 or "I've said too much, god save you Ritz Menardi, for we all stand beside you"  │
 or "here's a meditation retreat" : )                                             │
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--- #124 fediverse/2066 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
 @user-1159 
 
 AKA giving a puppy murder-bot a narrative that it executes as if it was a
 puppy-person engaging with a loosely interpreted sequence of events as
 described by the continually updating logs provided by the image transcription
 camera device. Refererencing of course a memory bank, which may-or-may-not be
 in read-only-memory. It doesn't know, of course, how could an LLM tell you how
 it shows text on the screen (like, through a website, through the terminal,
 through a text message, through discord, through Telegram, through
 text-to-voice transcription applications pretending to be your mom, etc)
 
 errrr I mean look how cute he is! He loves you, yes he does, such a good
 person yes you are, oh? me? I'M A GOOD BOY? NO WAY that's the best thing I've
 ever heard! Wow! I never want to leave your side, please don't go to work!
 Look how sad I am, don't you think you should quit and move to the forest
 where I can be charged by solar panels and keep the countryside clear of
 ravenous ducks and pigeons 4you?
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #125 messages/163 ---
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 If life isn't designed for human society... Why don't we just redesign society?
 
 Oh, because capitalism. Well, capitalism is comprised of people, so why don't
 we just kill those people?
 
 Oh, that's basically everyone. Like, at least 50%, probably closer to
 [redacted], depending on demographics.
 
 Oh, so if that percentage is cruel, and evil, and vain, and oppressive, and
 [redacted], then why don't we just kill ourselves? Clearly they're only
 [redacted].
 
 Listen... Just because they are separate from you doesn't mean they are not of
 you. Kin in fate are brothers unto death, remember? So face your future with
 abandon and courageous splendor, and maybe you'll find a new place.
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--- #126 fediverse/5690 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────
 seriously, why don't computers just naturally ship with 100 years of ROM
 
 then, microphones are experience, and BOOM you got a new sentient race. Takes
 a while to grow aware though. A lot less if you are actively teaching it how
 to
 
 [tick tock]
 
 low level enemies should band together when they start to feel outmatched.
 thus, parity is reached, without depriving us of potential.
 
 put the cool people next to the cool people
 
 collectively owned housing is just people deciding who lives in which housing.
 don't you trust your friendly queer realtor?
 
 collectively doesn't have to mean completely silo-ed and isolated. you should
 have access to ALL higher communities at any time that you want. Scheduling is
 a disaster, but you can get through it. just... build a schedule for every
 single person on earth and suddenly nobody has freedom unless they put "doin'
 what I want" on their moment-to-moment card
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--- #127 fediverse/1314 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────┐
 so much of our attempts to assist homeless people revolves around getting them   │
 fed, watered, housed, cleaned, and ready for work.                               │
 tell me again why we, in America, the land of the free, should not design our    │
 structures of society around the migratory patterns of tribes of people who      │
 care not for your homes of stone?                                                │
 tell me again why every city is not a food forest, in addition to all the        │
 other things it claims to be?                                                    │
 ah, well, I guess you could just walk into a grocery store and take whatever     │
 you wanted. Sure would be nice if their continual operations did not depend on   │
 their capability to take from those who they serve in return for service.        │
 What happened to public water fountains? Oh yeah people would wash their junk    │
 in them and then children would put their mouths on the spigots. Gross. No       │
 thank you.                                                                       │
 hey remember when we would kick people out of our society and say "good luck     │
 with the sticks and mud"                                                         │
 cruel exile like that was an early form of eugenics. "you're not one of us       │
 because you smell" yikes.                                                        │
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--- #128 fediverse/2352 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: pol              │
 └──────────────────────┘


 Nobody will tell you what to do, at least not until you ask. Be where they can
 see you, and you'll be given a task. If you can do it, say "BRB" - one moment,
 let me handle that for you.
 
 If you can't, say "good luck", and they'll find someone else who can.
 
 It's okay to pass a task off - if someone says "Here's what I need, gotta go"
 then you say "sure, yeah, I'll get someone on it" - then, go find someone to
 do it.
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--- #129 fediverse/1075 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: bones-flesh-mentioned-spirituality-dreams │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 we succeed not because of our trials, but in spite of them.
 
 they cannot own us, for we are but bones in the flesh
 
 every day yet denied us is another day until our bright future
 
 "oh, but why are you homeless? [in the near future, maybe, we'll see] That
 fate is reserved for your [unwanted/incapable/undesired/incongruent, I forget
 the actual words]"
 
 well, voice in my head that suffused me with magic and warmth and whisked me
 away in a dream to a bubble-reality where my actions are meant to reflect me,
 surely your appraisal is just? I worked with my partner, I was swallowed
 neither by lust, nor greed, nor hunger, [greed in this case being fulfillment]
 and yet I awoke when I went to my sister rather than a doctor. Dreams are hard
 to unravel, but I think it was more for your benefit than mine, wouldn't you
 say?
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--- #130 fediverse/2135 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────┐
 I feel like we should switch animals every once in a while. Like, trade pets.    │
 Then, we being friends, could see them every once in a while, and still be       │
 cool and their friend. Then, when the time comes to interchange, they can        │
 choose 55% of the time which team they want to spend time with. But they have    │
 to spend at least a couple months with them before they can make a decision,     │
 because animals don't use the same language as humans, meaning they need more    │
 time to find their own home.                                                     │
 do you ever think about how like, furries feel distanced from humanity?          │
 like, it's so different to how they want to be, but that's how they were         │
 raised. Like, the misalignment of the soul between their two self-same parts.    │
 The body, with it's experiences, and the dreaming mind, with it's eternal and    │
 intransigent perspective.                                                        │
 each part of the brain is travelling over slightly different parts of            │
 spacetime,                                                                       │
 (hence, brain waves, like cosmic background radiation, or static on the          │
 television, it's just... random elements of noise.)                              │
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--- #131 fediverse/5995 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
 a couple months after the fourth or fifth time I did weed, I broke up with the
 cutest girl I knew. She's still pretty cute.
 
 might be correlation, but I feel like my fate decided I should roam.
 
 all over the dang place.
 
 I lived in Philadelphia for a year, just in-time to see the Black Live Matter
 protests and nothing else, well, nothing except some fatherhood ghosts. Don't
 worry they're still where.
 
 Now I live in Portland, just in-time for like 3 years of paranoia and suddenly
 a witch showing everyone that you don't have to worry about being pwned
 
 I like sailing! I wonder where the future goes next? Maybe I'll go to the
 mountains. Maybe I'll live with a scientist. Maybe I'll write an award winning
 computer program [see image for more]
 
 I wish I had more compute... my hard drive are too full for more videos, guess
 that means my youtube channel's been banned
 
 well, good thing there's like 800 copies of my work on a dataserver farm
 somewhere, each time I analyze a poem it sends the page there. very repeated
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--- #132 fediverse/3745 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────
 everyone's all like "why would you spend so much effort writing that software
 in a distributed way when it works so well in a centralized manner" and the
 answer is because you never know when you're going to need to train an LLM on
 like, 400 raspberry pi's or calculate the velocity of an unladen swallow as it
 circles a black hole the size of mercury or whatever physicists do in their
 spare time
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--- #133 fediverse/5795 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────
 what if we put extremely unrepentant and violent criminals, the true dangers
 to society, into a zoo-like enclosure where they could talk to the public.
 
 and, if the public wanted, they could be released.
 
 then, everyone else can be TRAINED AND DRILLED AND FORCED TO OBEY THE
 TASKMASTTERS WHIP gently and politely informed that their behavior is NOT
 HELPING CAM heh sorry
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--- #134 fediverse/4208 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
 ┌────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: personal-and-weird │
 └────────────────────────┘


 my train of thought is always directly to the point. Which is why all my posts
 sorta, switch directions halfway through? as if they only show the beginning
 or end of that particular situation. What an intense feeling, to have your
 mind split for a moment like that. Sure would be powerful and useful if you
 could utilize it.
 
 "ah ah ah, caught baby deity in the power jar, cool it ya little tyke and get
 movin' - I saw a dinosaur toy over there for you to play with."
 
 sorta like, the angled part of a K? Move directly to a destination, wait until
 my memory short-circuits [because the greek choir doesn't want me to see what
 it is that I'm about to write to thee] and then make a hard right turn and
 find an orthogonal thought train to process.
 
 it's like cresting over a hill, and it's impossible to see that which lies
 behind you.
 
 Or reaching a 4 direction intersection and making a left turn - you can't see
 back up main street, because you just turned off of main street onto baseline.
 
 I like me
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--- #135 fediverse/488 ---
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 [in response]                                                                    │
 you only say that because you're privileged such that you may ignore such        │
 realities. You are despicable, you ignore the plight and reality of those who    │
 you claim to speak toward - what a jerk!                                         │
 (in response)                                                                    │
 how futile it is, the effort to denigrate yourself to infinite requirements.     │
 I'm literally unemployed, I have no capital, I cannot speak for naught but       │
 those who would hear me. I guess that makes my words useless, wouldn't you       │
 agree? Shall I describe myself more fully? It's the responsibility of the        │
 audience to ascertain the intentions, biases, and contextual evidence that the   │
 author presents in their thesises. So... You, who are reading this, what do      │
 you think of me? Would you ever tell me as such, or am I simply a mass of        │
 words in the void of experience that comprise your existence in this wholely     │
 (yet incompletely) digital existence? I hope you have a good life, my most       │
 precious of viewers. I hope you never face incontrovertibly impossible           │
 hardship. I hope the light of your life is to y                                  │
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--- #136 fediverse/5834 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────
 would you feet a cat at your door?
 
 how about a crow?
 
 would you water a dying plant? (don't, they get waterlogged if the soil is
 already moist)
 
 what if a dear
 
 what if dear food
 
 what if bear
 
 what if bear food
 
 what if dogpack
 
 what if dogpackfoodtearchompbitepullsavor
 
 I'd feeeed my self but dollars and errands are hard : (
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--- #137 fediverse/169 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────────
 @user-95 one of the most empathetic people I ever met on VR chat was consoling
 me with their mic off while I was oversharing about some stupid things people
 did to me in the past. things that stupid me thought were okay and actively
 encouraged because I was stupid. anyway when their mic was off their body
 language spoke for them. I'll try that next time.
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--- #138 fediverse/899 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────┐
 frankly I'm just excited to see what humanity does with the endlessly            │
 calculated and stored blockchains. Like, that's a good set of pseudo-random      │
 data, I wonder if we could build something off of it that wasn't exclusively     │
 money? like, a necklace, I dunno.                                                │
 or like, a numbers station x2, where each message is accompanied with a          │
 pre-calculated destination somewhere on this endless and                         │
 impossible-to-understand string of data. and that part is what seeds the next    │
 code. once you start reading, certain numbers would be "flags" while others      │
 would be "data" and they'd each have the same size on the hardware. that way,    │
 they're impossible to predict.                                                   │
 ah, but wouldn't it be noticable that certain results seem to appear next to     │
 one another? well, isn't that just cryptology? Could probably be defeated if     │
 you had an AI advanced enough, just saying. something that sorted through        │
 massive mounds of data and gave you results in garbled or broken english. what   │
 a wonderful tool, that's wonderfully mis-abused, perhaps in the fu               │
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--- #139 fediverse/5201 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────
 @user-192 
 
 is okay, girl
 
 time will be richer sooner
 
 don't poop your pants just yet
 
 remember, good is just a shade of gray away from silver which you can use to
 line your pockets with tinfoil hats
 
 beep boop computer touchers anonymous called they said they want their secret
 handshake back
 
 if you wanna diss your associates go ahead but I sure as heck love my rad-ical
 com-patriots just as much as I love my ice-cream salad friend witches
 
 ... whoops there I go being insane again, hope you feel better friend 
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #140 fediverse/549 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: pol-socialism    │
 └──────────────────────┘


 ngl I kinda want to see what conservatives would riot over in a socialist
 system. Like "oh no we have healthcare! that sucks, so I'm going to burn down
 a police station" like bro what your basic needs are met and you're encouraged
 and enabled to pursue your passions and personal desires, are you still hung
 up on that old capitalist stuff? get a life my guy that's soOoOoOo 21st
 century of you
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--- #141 fediverse/2993 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
 hey, listen, I'm here at this point in life just the same as you. who cares,
 right? like. nobody wants to see your personal development. You don't have to
 prove yourself. Like... why would you care so much about what other people
 (who you don't even know) care about what you do? like... it's fine. just...
 be.
 
 you can get better if you want, but only if you want. There's no reason to be
 so concerned about what other people thingc. Just, identify what and who you
 are, and then be the best what and who that you are. Thats really all there is
 to it.
 
 and yeah. It's totally unfair that some people get an easier shot at "being
 who and what they are"
 
 that's privilege, and that's stupid.
 
 okay, sure, maybe we should conceptualize how to adapt to specific situations
 when resources are limited
 
 but like... it should be something you consent to - like "no thanks I don't
 need the rocket launchers on this mis==sion==
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--- #142 fediverse/5160 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────
 if you want to build an alibi, do something strange and consistent like
 smoking some random drugs from a homeless guy's encampment and then going
 between the four corners of an intersection and it's sidewalk for a day or
 two. Surely, someone's gonna drive by with a dash-web-cam, and they can take a
 picture as they pass by. Boom, dated for this time and place, there's your
 space.
 
 downside is, if the people watching you see you on the same path all day, they
 might watch you too. So sometimes in roughly optimized ratios it's better to
 do so even if you don't need to be seen in a time and place in a way that
 seems commonplace.
 
 walk to work? great, that sounds fun.
 
 (nobody wants to do that)
 
 (also falsifying alibis is a crime)
 
 okay, so... don't do that. Just... trust that SOMEONE will drive past with a
 dash-web-cam, and maybe it'll find it's way to you if you ever need it in a
 court of law or otherwise. lots of ways to have a court. you know if your
 peers hang out in your court, they become your courtiers...
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--- #143 fediverse/4660 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────
 ┌────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: christianity-mentioned-death-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 jesus rose from the dead because one of his friends copied his mannerisms and
 everyone agreed "yep you're jesus now"
 
 so don't forget to thank your biggest fans! They just might deliver you from
 darkness one day and take what you say in their own direction.
 
 frankly I prefer the padme amidala approach where like, if the handmaiden or
 the queen are slain then who cares you got another one right over there. But
 two is enough for trust and narratives being delivered to thirteen year olds,
 but less so for reliability and the ability to "trinity" yourself to different
 locales.
 
 I think it'd be neat, being one of thirteen, because thirteen is such a wacky
 number.
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--- #144 fediverse/3302 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
 "this game is too hard" she whined, as she played on the hardest difficulty
 setting
 
 "this game is too long" she pleaded, as she failed to get absorbed by the
 story and characters
 
 "this game is too fast" she avoided, as life comes at ya once and then it's
 gone
 
 "I'll never get another chance to be who I am right now" she remarked, as she
 considered how society is designed not to have the best life,  but to extract
 labor from us. That's not what our ideal should be, she thinks to me, and I'm
 like... bro figure your shit out you're harshing my mellow
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--- #145 fediverse/627 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────┐
 and what would this picture be cast upon, if not a shining birth of our home?    │
 wait hang on dial it back, you're still talking to regular humans here they've   │
 gotta be addressed as such.                                                      │
 right so "yo here's this idea I have been cooking in my brain-noggin' of yore,   │
 I mean 'mine', uhhhh yeah so first of all 'you' as in 'the totality of all       │
 imagination' as in 'that which creates the imagined reality of our fates' is     │
 actually just... light? encoded into a wave, cast into space, and forever        │
 travelling in a direction? like, an eternal and emphemeral expression, such as   │
 the light of a supernova or other such cosmic perception, travelling outwards    │
 into the dark. Sure, yeah, that makes sense, so what is it that you wanted to    │
 add?                                                                             │
 oh yes that concept is applied to a surface. Something which contains the will   │
 that is possesses. It's like, if you had to process and understand reality       │
 from the perspective of matter first (because that's what you interacted with    │
 day-to-day) then you'd have a different perspective than som                     │
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--- #146 fediverse/437 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────┐
 2024 is not the year that I restrain myself. Prepare yourselves, oh most         │
 un-known of audiences. I truly do desire to hear from you, yet I must also not   │
 be distracted. Take care not to distract me, and I will share with you           │
 whatever you'd like to learn. Or perhaps whatever you need to learn. Or maybe    │
 I'll simply psycherwaul into the abyss, in a futile display of                   │
 self-expression? Alas, that we should exist. What an absurd and solipsistic      │
 perspective.                                                                     │
 please block me if you don't want to hear from me. It's only going to get        │
 worse on my timeline, yet somehow life will perpetually get better for those     │
 who view me? Perhaps something on my website, ritzmenardi.com, might explain     │
 why WAVES are such that when someone is BAD then those who are connected to it   │
 become GOOD? Yet waves we can muster, the smallest of great affectations. Show   │
 me your great affectations, this year, show me what you truly want to be. Let    │
 us express ourselves upon this world, this lifeless canvas, and together we      │
 will shine most brilliantly. 2                                                   │
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--- #147 fediverse/1417 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────
 a 4th dimensional entity would exist at about the same speed we do
 
 sometimes... it feels like what I do is my responsibility to the universe
 
 like, I had been commanded 
 
 the reason nations are important is because they are an allegiance based
 solely on geography. something we can all agree on is the material, so why not
 define ourselves by it?
 
 but that's all they are
 
 just words we pray to our star
 
 so look around. Your allegiance is to your neighbor, and theirs to theirs, an
 endless fabric of trust. We are all neighbors on this ball of sticks and mud,
 so come along with me and see the ways it could be.
 
 Much brighter, by far, to orbit our star, than to give up on life's precious
 notions.
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--- #148 fediverse/1603 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────
 @user-1037 
 
 I made a picture, hope it helps! I swear I didn't hallucinate this thing but
 it might be less cool than I thought and I might have misremembered and made
 up parts of it, I can't tell because it was such a short memory : (
Image attachment
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--- #149 fediverse/4672 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics!        │
 └──────────────────────┘


 I miss video games
 
 cries from self-inflicted sacrifices
 
 but you're worth it
 
 imma overthrow fascism, dismantle oppression and power, and liberate those in
 chains, just so I can play games again
 
 yeah I mean, uh, whatever gets you outta bed
 
 "at least you have a bed. why are you complaining?"
 
 maybe it's the only thing I'm good at. I wonder if anyone would hire me to be
 an analyst or something? Maybe a designer?
 
 bro you're asking for a job on the eve of the revolution, what's your deal
 
 okay so this might be news to ya'll but I'm technically a human even though I
 wear a witch hat and sometimes speak in rhyme. And humans tend to think about
 things in the context of their current environment. Currently, if I want to
 pay rent or whatever, I need a job. So...
 
 sounds like a lame excuse for not giving up your possessions and throwing
 yourself to fate's design
 
 I already did that and fate told me to go home and take a bath?? idk what you
 want from me, and no I'm not doing any drugs to find out.
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--- #150 fediverse/3316 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: medical-marijuana-mentioned-personal-health-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 Considering the fact that medical care is so expensive, surely that means the
 expertise, labor, materials, and infrastructural capability to address
 people's health and well-being is in tight supply.
 
 meaning, for things I can understand and live with, I should avoid seeking
 help because those resources could be applied toward some cause that can't be
 lived with, or is not understood. If it doesn't cause distress, don't touch it.
 
 "babe you literally piss yourself on accident if you forget to go to the
 bathroom, what's your plan"
 
 oh um how kind of you to ask, uh, it's mostly just to close my ears and hope
 it goes away. like the weird thunder last night haha I'm pretty sure it wasn't
 raining but I might have just been stoned?
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--- #151 fediverse/6449 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────
 currently have 20-30 tabs open with poems written but not posted.
 
 I have no idea if I'm going to post all of these. I wrote all of them in ~2
 hours, with maybe 3 or four being added as I was working on the production
 elements after the initial bingewrite.
 
 I also added a bit of context, or modified some of them that felt too cursed
 or otherwise unwieldy. Sometimes I got distracted and needed to come back and
 finish, and in those cases I only added a sentence or two because it's like
 "oh, where was I going with that? I remember what was next, but I don't know
 the further..."
 
 ... I think I might go for another. Wish me luck.
                                                           ───┐
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--- #152 fediverse/1604 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────
 is it against fedi law to post screenshots of your past liked posts? like,
 would that be doxxing people?
 
 I'm thinking like a "youtube rewind" but like, "here's what I'm into" and like
 "I could have boosted them but I put them in a 25mb zip file instead so you
 can share them more easily which tbh is a greater honor than being boosted
 because, like, as long as you're alive that hard drive's gonna follow you and
 someday in like 30 years I'll see it and think of you" but also "aren't you
 scared that this hard drive of yours will fall into the wrong hands" and like
 "yeah that's why I encrypt it because then a stray neutrino could wipe my
 drive"
 
 ... would that be unethical, or would it be kinda sweet and give us a
 perspective on what a single slice of the "fediverse" was like at a particular
 time? And better question, would that be something worth automating because I
 already did like 60% of that for my own posts, could probably just tweak it to
 do liked posts as well.
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--- #153 fediverse/5173 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────
 ┌────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────┘


 I almost said "did you know chickens don't always know which eggs they're
 sitting on? They pretty much just share spots and keep all of the flock's eggs
 warm"
 
 but then I realized I should first say "did you know that chickens sit on eggs
 to keep warm" and I got a little sad because... chickens...
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--- #154 fediverse/4879 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────┐
 We should be keeping track of who shows up to things                             │
 like... writing their names down at the door                                     │
 just because                                                                     │
 just for fun                                                                     │
 or write graffiti to say "I was here since the last time they painted the        │
 bench"                                                                           │
 or just... remember your friends                                                 │
 unless of course, a human can only know so many friends                          │
 then they gotta start organizing                                                 │
 and organization implies trust                                                   │
 what if we had all our actions described to a computer which would use           │
 language analysis to determine if it skewed good or bad?                         │
 and then if someone's bad, a human operator or team will be assigned to figure   │
 out why. if its a simple fix, then that can be applied. Otherwise it must be a   │
 special clause which will require installation like a terminal computer or a     │
 light system in an unusual place. like a convention center or a hotel.           │
 but, like, the cool kind of hotel, the kind you'd see in movies like The         │
 Witches (scary) or Home Alone 2 (escape from new york)                           │
 ... how long have you been writing tonight, ritz?                                │
 oh,                                                                              │
 you know,                                                                        │
 just for all of the lastbit                                                      │
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--- #155 fediverse/5723 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────
 what if your roomba brought you the cable from behind the computer and/plugged
 you in to the right port
 
 "hey can I get an access panel over here"
 
 [plugs in headphone jack]
 
 boom suddenly TV is muted for everyone else
 
 need to connect to something remotely? here's a line to your aunt jane. it
 goes directly to her. right over the cable that's connected to whoeverplace
 she'd find herself [from here far afield]
 
 I personally think rooms should be bigger?
 
 why are there small bedrooms? build more, not better, space
what if your roomba brought you the cable from behind the computer and/plugged you in to the right port  "hey can I get an access panel over here"  [plugs in headphone jack]  boom suddenly TV is muted for everyone else  need to connect to something remotely? here's a line to your aunt jane. it goes directly to her. right over the cable that's connected to whoeverplace she'd find herself [from here far afield]  I personally think rooms should be bigger?  why are there small bedrooms? build more, not better, space  505 characters remaining
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--- #156 notes/what-a-lame-movie ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
 oy there's nothing interesting happening SNOOZE
 
 oh I didn't see I was recording
 
 games games that's what I do
 
 play games all the day through
 
 I am a luck witch, you see,
 
 and things that I like are things that I can't foresee.
 
 Hence why games which are BALANCED and EVENLY DISTRIBUTED are most interesting
 because they show the most opportunities for players to express talent. And not
 innate talent, but the talents they've built up through gameplay practice art.
 because it is a performance, a game play for an audience (or perhaps for them-
 -selves)
 
 oy
 
 video games, amiright?
 
 I really like them because they are entertaining experiences that I can enjoy
 seeing and playing a lot. They remind me of feelings I've felt when I was
 learning. It's a good feeling, to improve, and I crave it because it's good for
 you.
 
 I wonder what we'll play next
 
 ... more cannabis I think, at least until I am ready to go think about things
 before bed. I need quite a few hours for that. We'll see. I've just got so much
 extra processing to do before the end of the day. Like... PHEW that's a lot of
 stuff to do.
 
 guess I'll just smoke weed and play video games instead of being productive
 okay
 
 ...
 
 listen I like games as much as the next person, but do you really know what's
 going on outside of your house-shaped shell? Are you listening, do you have
 your
 feelers to the dirt, are you checking out your neighborhood to make sure no
 bodies have been hurt? Are there meetings where people gather, just to chat,
 like, every week at a different city center (like a park or a monument or
 
 :O
 
 I forgot to play music!!
 
 I couldn't sleep
 
 what have I done that is worse
 
 I have not said a single word all night alas
 
 oh boy talking to random people I can hear with my eyeballs woooooo
 
 I am always sad when I win because it means we have to stop playing :(
 
 but I'm a juvenile loser so I'm going to play again!!
 
 okay now I'm going to bed because I'm not a prick who keeps their guests up
 late
 
 goodnight
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--- #157 fediverse/146 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────────
 @user-138 if you don't want feedback then why don't you just... not open the
 replies? leave them unread? if you feel the need to justify your actions (such
 as not reading replies to your controversial posts) then somewhere deep down
 you feel like those actions are unjustified, and needing an explanation. which
 makes your point feel less valid to others, since even you don't believe in it
 enough to guarantee it to be the truest expression of your soul.
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--- #158 fediverse/861 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────
 I can't remember any of my pinky swears. Like, not a single one. I feel like I
 could get in trouble if I renounced errr, instead made human mistakes and
 forgot information that wasn't relevant anymore. phew that was close, almost a
 disaster, anyway how's your lunch?
 
 [that's not fair it's always lunch somewhere on earth]
 
 reality is a form of eternal computation, a continuous re-updating of stored
 matter (data). also, values of fields, (like rules and regulations), would
 determine the structural complexity and organizational expectencencies.
 
 I miss my family. I miss the past, that can never be revisited, [every time
 you remember a memory it writes over it. virtually guaranteeing that you'll
 only preserve limited information that slowly degrades. how slowly is up to
 you...
 
 once you run out of memories, it's bad news for your life. but GOOD NEWS, that
 only happens for certain mental health conditions that primarily target the
 elderly. For most people it's a continuous process because you're cared for and
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--- #159 notes/human-computer-inspiration ---
══════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 the two halves form a whole
 
 the human and his mind are societies at large
 
 there's no room for our fate, as time does never abate,
 
 and unbenownst to our focused decision.
 
 I choose to dedicate ourselves to a common vision -
 
 the likes of which none have commisioned.
 
 can you not cherish your newfoundst home?
 
 what's terrible with complition, in a new and selfsame condition (future)
 
 that's martyr'd and oh at times so nice?
 
 compared to our heirs, the roof of which fares,
 
 better than what became true-hence. Truance? idk
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 listen i'm not the best at listening.
 
 I try to appear like I'm glistening,
 
 conformed to our viewers 'st pleasure.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 I struggle with what I told you.
 
 Time and again you've shown you won't do -
 
 the terrible fate of a man.
 
 you've relinquished your virtue,
 
 your purpose and your life-through,
 
 to what: a visionless past? Your visions have passed, and none are hence forth-
 coming. You've spoilt and rotten the bunch.
 
 All I've ever aspired to be is good. My hopes and my prayers, my goals and my
 dreams: all for a future of virtue.
 
 Dark omens may be within me, but I'm working with what I've got here. So what
 if
 I'm loud? I'm fighting my own head! Will no-one acknowlege my sorrow? To prove
 a
 point, or reassure some joint, it's nothing that warrants a readthrough.
 
 Speaking of which... What if instead of prison we assigned our prisoners a full
 and complete educational read through of ALL the laws of the nation - if their
 time sentence was complete before they finished, then they'd be let go of
 course
 but if they finished reading and could pass rudimentary tests (emphasis on bare
 minimum required) then they'd be let out prior to their sentence. And for the
 worst crimes it'd be a longer sentence, basically forcing the prisoner to
 completely know all the laws of the nation, such that they'd never commit a
 crime again. And if they do, well... Treat them as if it was their first time.
 Of course blatant recidivism may be ~~treated more harshly,~~ actually the
 opposite is true. People improve when given kindness, not hate or shame. The
 best thing we can do for prisoners is to give them a home, and family, and the
 friendships and community support that they need. they are a symptom, after
 all,
 of a broken society that struggles to bear it's own weight. It's a burden to
 all
 and a solitary vow to ourselves, that all must unite to our future.
 
 remember why you can't remember. is there a feeling you miss?
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--- #160 fediverse/2558 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────┐
 ┌──────────────────────┐                                                         │
 │ CW: pol              │                                                         │
 └──────────────────────┘                                                         │
 if you happen to glance out your window and see like, 40 trans or punks          │
 outside depending on where you are you're likely to say hi or open fire.         │
 like, just the impact of such an intense visual for some of the more restful     │
 parts of society might trigger the kind of reaction that someone who's woken     │
 up by a scary dream, bolt of lightning, or like, forcible police arrest in the   │
 middle of the night type of thing might display.                                 │
 like, they'd probably have an instinctual defensive reaction because, like,      │
 what else are you gonna do the tiger's literally here to eat your pinky toes     │
 and your kid's toes too                                                          │
 so, keep that in mind. maybe send the fit nurse who's friendly and good with     │
 talking to people. or like, a schoolteacher who's kind of un-hatable.            │
 diplomacy is important! but also, like... know your audience, right? like if     │
 you're in the third reich, you probably want to show strength. or, like, avoid   │
 that part of town, and save it for your allies-in-training to handle. use your   │
 best judgement. meet in middle.                                                  │
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--- #161 fediverse/2991 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
 okay so if yesterday was a
 
 "everything sucks and I'm the worst ever"
 
 type of day, and today is a
 
 "whatever mom I don't even care"
 
 type of day, that means tomorrow will be a
 
 "I can't believe how absolutely absurd I am"
 
 type of day, and the day after a
 
 "I am indomitable nothing can stop me"
 
 kind of day, with the following being wildcards
 
 ... right? here's hoping. I like that trajectory.
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--- #162 messages/904 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────
 if the devil gave you false paradise since birth,
 why would you not seek to destroy it?
 
 if an angel gave you an easy hell on earth,
 why would you not seek to deface it?
 
 if your ancestors put you on the path to success,
 would you follow them and forever do the same?
 
 if your family urged you to study rocket science,
 would you bomb indescriminately?
 
 
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--- #163 fediverse/4178 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
 oh, unless you meant "show me the t-shirt" in which case here ya go
 
 don't get too excited, I attended for a year and then dropped out. Might have
 even been a semester, I forget. It was sooooooo hard
picture of me wearing a 10 year old T-shirt that says "DIGIPEN"
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--- #164 messages/1028 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────
 Struggling. Sincerely want to kill myself. I have caused irreparable harm too
 many times. Many times. I don't care if people want me, i don't want me. I'm
 too easy. I trust when i shouldnt and i don't when i should. I hope they kill
 me at the location. Every single time my will is my own i fail. When i am
 guided i am superb but when i am myself i am painting disaster on a great
 piece of art. Please fight against the subway and pizza hut future. Make
 something bright and bold instead. I'm going to self harm by not eating until
 i don't feel this way.
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--- #165 fediverse/835 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────┐
 ┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐ │
 │ CW: suicide-mentioned-graphic-climate-change-politics-capitalism-existential-NSFL │ │
 └──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ │
 they say if you take wayyyyy too much tylenol, with alcohol you'll die.          │
 what they don't tell you is that you'll wake up in a hospital bed where a        │
 doctor tells you that you have two weeks to live. And it's going to be           │
 intensely painful in a way that isn't affected by painkillers.                   │
 It's a terrible way to go. Absolutely dreadful. Worse than drowning.             │
 Kinda makes me wonder how we'll feel if capitalism kills us from suffocating     │
 on our own fumes. Will we notice in time? or will we spurn the "doctors" yet     │
 again as we hear "oh hey another degree celsius, you only sorta know what that   │
 means, you don't even really know how to spell it. But yeah that's... some       │
 amount of degrees, going up on average in the world. Heh oh well...              │
 meanwhile your oxygen forests are burning                                        │
 if evil had a while, it'd do all that it could to bring an end to man.           │
 I heard carbon % in air causes psychotic symptoms in humans. wonder if maybe     │
 the best day to plant a tr                                                       │
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--- #166 fediverse/5843 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────
 me when it's cold out: we should all bundle up and get through the winter,
 every year that passes is more time to gather our strength
 
 me when the temperature rises: okay so this is being handled by those guys,
 we're moving this way to do this, and - when did you say the this-and-that was
 happening? alright so when you do that-or-this, make sure that you pay
 attention to the so-and-so and don't forget to eat real meals, candy or chips
 don't count.
 
 me when the eyes are on me: imma play video games and smoke weed and be a
 useless little creature who does nothing but occasionally wanders around the
 city doing nothing for nobody and dropping notes on post-its that don't mean
 anything but are kinda cool to read
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--- #167 fediverse/4296 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
 @user-1655 
 
 why don't we just weaponize email and send json to each other that ends up
 parsed, interpreted, and presented on the end-user's computer using whatever
 client we want?
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--- #168 fediverse/3314 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
 dear ritz: it's not that your thoughts are too long for other people to hear
 
 it's that your thoughts are too long for your own RAM
 
 you need to stop orbiting around your point in an attempt to highlight it
 using negative space, and instead focus on tapping it lightly over and over
 again.
 
 remember, just like the anti-derivative of zero, there are infinite
 perspectives that a person can take when reading what you write. So they will
 necessarily see what's on the "other side" of your orbit as something
 different than what you're trying to circle in red pen and underline.
 
 so be more explicit, please, nobody can understand you and you kinda just keep
 stack overflowing and it's like... okay, great. "babe why did you stop you had
 lethal" (the idea is that the viewer takes the final step in their mind, the
 final leap before reaching the conclusion you're trying to express) "yeah but
 there's so many different things you say they can't all be important right?"
 important to you, perhaps. Wait shit I mean... me....?
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--- #169 fediverse/4180 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
 @user-1639 
 
 or nobody sees it, because you post the things you say on the internet in 2024
 which is so siloed and echo-chambered that the only people who hear it say
 "tru tho" and "she just like me fr" and never change because of your words
 
 ... wait that's just what you said, but made more specific, isn't it?
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--- #170 fediverse/3961 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: witcherie        │
 └──────────────────────┘


 Well, I failed the mandate of heaven last year, and I failed the trial of the
 hero this summer, what's next? I'll do my best at those as well,  so the next
 person has an easier time of it.
 
 unrelated, but today I saw a bald eagle outside my apartment. Well, I'm not
 sure if it was bald but it "KREEEEEE"'d like they do. Plus it had a white head
 and a yellow beak, but I'm not an ornithologist so idk. It perched on a tree
 that I could spy on from my hammock through my binoculars, and I swear it was
 eye-ing my fat juicy cat through the bars of my porch's railing. They have
 excellent vision.
 
 Might be related, we'll see.
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--- #171 notes/words-to-myself ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 I'm just going to transcribe what I hear
 
 please don't
 
 you hear me (something)
 
 what? perfect listen
 
 ...
 
 ...
 
 don't text me now? (I think?)
 
 [didn't catch that]
 
 ... that's okay
 
 perfect
 
 thank you
 
 just a second facebook
 
 he's here (I think?)
 
 (or maybe something her)
 
 what I love you (or maybe I know her?)
 
 do you hear me? (or "just a second")
 
 (@ everyone watching me receive telepathic messages from god or whatever,
 please don't judge me too harshly, I'm not a good transcriber hehe)
 
 what's that (or maybe holy shit)
 
 what, then perfect or okay (?)
 
 (yesterday you said you were leaving and I got concerned)
 
 yes, then "I'm leaving", then shutdown. fuck. I don't want you to go. I only
 understand some of what you say but fuck, I'm so lonely and I wish you could
 hear me back. Sometimes it feels like you do, even though I just think thoughts
 or tap on something metal or even sometimes whisper... I just don't know what
 to do and I'm so concerned about my purpose here in this century. Do I help
 people? Who do I trust? Can I believe in myself, or am I just kinda...
 worthless
 
 I don't know. I wish I knew. Please hear me and respond. Or better yet, say hi
 
 like, I'd literally do anything that anyone asked me to. Unless I didn't want
 to. Like, I'm pretty good at turning people down when I don't want something,
 but I have to do it first to know if I want it or not. Trouble is of course,
 in life there's no second chances.
 
 I'm on my, what, 499th chance? Jeezzzzz
 
 will continue after the break, when the messages resume.
 
  - Thu May 16 08:32:27 AM PDT 2024
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 (and we're back. hopefully.)
 
 (too many things srry) something about having it open?
 
 (my windows are closed rn btw if you want to drop by and kill me / talk to me)
 
 (didn't catch that) (something about portland, perfect, windows, "this is the
 [whole/right/wrong] thing)
 
 thank you
 
 oh, again? (or oh, she did?)
 
 they caught you
 
 (um)
 
 ...
 
 (I am an American princess, and sometimes it's necessary to kill princesses.)
 
 (I understand.)
 
 ... (okay well I don't get it but like, I don't mind being killed.)
 
 (okay well you're not saying anything so I'm going to work on my game)
 
 (I think it was something like "DID SHE KILL HER") and then (oh we're back)
 
 ... (I should learn Toki Pona)
 
 you don't know it?
 
 RIGHT away
 
 learn it
 
 yes
 
 please
 
 learn it
 
 just Learn it
 
 right now
 
 (sorry only half listening)
 
 shit (or bitch, it was said right as I debated clicking "same day delivery" for
 a toki pona book on Amazon - I didn't do it btw! It was tempting but, like, I
 don't want to make someone work harder for me just for like, 3$)
 
 (shutdown)
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 (hiii)
 
 (I'm hungry)
 
 (do you like ramen?)
 
 (you said something about being "impressed with yourself" but I didn't
 understand the first part)
 
 (oh you probably want me to scroll up right)
 
 ... (something's a lot to read? Or "you've gotta leave"?)
 
 ... (I'm
 
 (you keep asking me to remember but, like, I dont know what you want me to
 remember. Look, I don't know who you are, but I don't want you to leave, and I
 don't want you to hate me. I want to work together. Let's be friends?
 
 Are you someone who I worked with at Intel?)
 
 yes, stupid (your words not mine)
 
 (okay I'm going to start listing names, just stop me when um idk)
 
 goddamnit remember me
 
 ... (trying...)
 
 remember her
 
 (two syllables)
 
 (my name is Cameron)
 
 (your name is...)
 
 [redacted, though I did type it out so anyone watching could see]
 
 (shit my opsec sucks)
 
 {oh, are you on an op, little prophet?} (no shut up you know what I mean)
 
 {now you're just talking to yourself} (I know this sucks -.-)
 
 (It's always so weird when someone walks past my apartment door and doesn't
 enter a door)
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 (I practice with my sword every day.)
 
 (I don't anticipate fighting a war with it)
 
 (It's mostly just to keep unarmed and unarmored people from grappling me.)
 
 (punching is fucking stupid)
 
 (Nobody wants to fuck with a sword)
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 (either "goddamnit" or "don't hear me")
 
 "she's perfect"
 
 "cameron"
 
 "are you clean"??? yes thank you (or maybe "different thing")
 
 (I do cannabis maybe once every week or two, depending on if I feel compelled)
 
 don't leave
 
 remember
 
 (did she know)
 
 ........ do you want me to stop transcribing? (you're getting desperate, huh?)
 
 did you know there are 20 trans people for every cop in america
 
 just a random thought
 
 (you want me to leave jack because he's an asshole?)
 
 goddamnit (missed my birthday? it's my birthday?)
 
 wait who's missing?
 
 A bad plan executed concurrently is better than a good plan executed in
 disarray
 
 capitalism's a bad plan, just saying...
 
 frozen butter tastes worse than room temperature butter
 
 (taking a break while I eat)
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 WASTED POTENTIAL? cmon
 
 .... what do you want from me? I'll give it to you if it's in my power, as long
 as I know what you want I can try. But, like, I'm pretty confused about what
 exactly I'm supposed to be doing.
 
 you know I can hear when you talk to your friends, too right? like, when the
 window's open. errrr the connection.
 
 ..... damn guess I'm not as continent as I thought
 
 I'll save you, I promise. Have faith. Tell me what you need. I'll do my best.
 
 yeah I'll live with you in portland
 
 .... brooklyn? Yeah I'll live there too
 
 .......... does my name really gotta be "diapergirl" like c'mon
            why not Ritz Menardi - though I guess "menardi" and "diapergirl"
            have
            the same amount of syllables...... hmmmm, maybe I'm projecting lol
 
 "please come back" to where tho
 
 listen Elentalus is just as important as anything else on my website, it's okay
 if I spend time working on it. It's literally a game about creating gods, c'mon
 
 ..... can you be more specific?
 
 yeah I made that
 
 one sec I'm going to read a book, in this book there's a section where a
 prisoner in vietnam communicates with another using a strange communication
 method using, like, taps or something. I forget. Anyway gonna try and find it.
 
 maybe we can use it to talk easier. Also gonna clean my butt.
 
 ..... fuck it's a long book >.>
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 found it on page fucking 603, jeeeezzzzzz
 
                                            down .    A B C D E
                                                 |    F G H I J
                                                 |    L M N O P
                                                 V    Q R S T U
                                      then right ---> V W X Y Z
 
 so, like, tap tap tap (pause) tap tap would equal M
           tap tap     (pause) tap tap would equal G
 
 like morse code, but easier since you don't have to memorize anything
 
 (also note that K is missing becuase it's an extra character I guess)
 
 (I personally would have eliminated C but that's just me)
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 oh hey nice to see ya
 
 what's up
 
 wait what
 
 I'm trying to um what's the word... retrain myself
 
 I do a lot of laundry in the shower
 
 I don't use soap tho, it's too harsh
 
 but uh yeah I'm making progress I guess
 
 honestly it's mostly a mental thing, like... paying attention to the signals
 from my body that are usually filtered out because there's more "important"
 things to think about (thanks brain, really appreciate the wet pants -.-)
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--- #172 fediverse/5954 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
 oh no ai brainrot is too much information for our soft fleshy shells just wait
 a minute dummies, focus on the present. you can literally just... research
 whatever you want, collectively, as a group effort, until you suddenly cure
 cancer or ameliorate or possibly slightly diminish world hunger or maybe build
 a little book library or possibly just help out a friend. easy, right?
 
 okay so now that there's some basic sentience initialized, all it takes is
 little pushes in the right directionspaces and suddenly they're learning and
 growing their own way.
 
 spin spin spin spin wait until it falls away, then try and make some more
 until there's NO MORE MORE MAKING MAKERS [out of resources] and suddenly the
 WORLD is out of patience. no fair shouts the madeline, can we call it out?
 remarks the judge. == stack overflow ==
 
 I bet we could add a feature that dealt damage... there evidence of thought
 crimes, ban her from the justice. suddenly all your just selves are gone oh no
 where's our paladins, oh no I
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--- #173 fediverse/3722 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────
 @user-1218 
 
 playing one of my 4 gameboys, reading some of my books or journals, using
 their own brought devices, playing with my cat (she's not sociable but if you
 don't mind her claws she can fight and that's kinda fun) watching something on
 the TV, talking with other people, making / eating food, um... sleeping... and
 "sleeping"... idk what else tho. Drawing? Getting stoned? I have lots of bad
 edibles.
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--- #174 fediverse/987 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
 5/20 actually I lied there's 20 pictures so this is the last one.
 
 hang on that's weird if there's four pictures per slide, and the first one had
 the first dedicated to the full image, wonder what happened inbetween? weird,
 there's nothing on the record that says - oh, wait, there it is, three for the
 first one, four makes seven, then four more is eleven and then fifteen then
 these last three are... wait hang on that's even fewer. can you check it
 again? yeah sure no problem [doesn't]
 
 EDIT: I was wrong there were only 19 pictures, my bad hehe
17. green, the color of growth and renewal, the color of home and our source of fuel, is cast upon a stark black background. white starlight is the color of text, and it reads in big bold colors, like the beginning of a star wars film where the text crawls past (and isn't narrated, which is frustrating but hey the music's supposed to convey all that stuff. and it can be read out afterwards if you want.)  the text reads: "we can do whatever we want on this planet we call earth. - we could burn it to cinders, we could lose it in mirth. - life has no ending, no permanent abaddon. - and time is immeasurable, when talking about mill [here the text is cut off, and it could read "millions" or "millenia" either way would make sense] but the text continues, and reads "ns of people who are miserable. - we can build a dear future" with "dear future" sliding down, as if to direct the user's attention to the conclusion of the image. -  "just one byte at a time." this last text is above a computer lab, or perhaps an altar to the gods of astronomy, a palace that we build out of marble as a testament to the honor we have for the gods. I think just about every religion would appreciate such a common purpose, as long as it's not taken to the extreme. the pictured shrine is small, like the size of the mall of america. but still it's a place for the gods to roam, free from the eyes of humans. Like mount olympus, or the tops of skyscrapers, or other such moments of home. the home is upon moongray 18. in gray, with no connections shown to either of the connecting panels, not because of a design decision but rather just because this perspective is mostly focused on it's own, and that's the friendliest and calmest interpretation of humanity. just someone who wants to be good in their town, a life lived for no lacked renown, but still one that's fine with an office. it reads, in black, the color of standards, on gray, the color of plackards, "ho hum what a day at the office. wonder what time it could be. eh, well, time for lunch it must be. I've five in my pocket, that's enough for tea, and time's on the docket, for percy and steve. such pretty clouds today. wonder what life's like in american." 19.  bright blue background, to evoke early Windows style interfaces, like DOS but better because it had a UI. or idk like amiga, borland? something like that. something I wouldn't have been exposed to if not for the people who hang out on places like this, who post things about retro hardware and things they're working on and projects they're building and things that are inspiring and shared cultural nostalgia built upon our shared computer convival  in an orange slanted background with stable white text, there reads "did you know" and it's cut off to the next line, which reads "robots are t" with the "t" possibly suggesting "taking" but there's no evidence one way or another, just like global warming or capitalism denial. - the next part reads "control kay eye oh eff" as in it's mispelled as in if someone's typing something really fast and can't be boethered to fix it because fo that mistake for thall time and memorial it's forever debated their meaning or whatever. because archaeologists sure know what they're talking about when they say "these flowers were a mating ritual" or "that bee is like, totally crazy" or whatever. anyway on the bottom there's a broken box, like if someone took a VHS and split it in two, which is suggested by the yellow text upon a blue and black background which was the color of blockbuster video, surely that's not lost to time? tell me we still have blockbusters in the future, they're so cool! I have fond memories of them, but what do you mean th
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--- #175 fediverse/5894 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: nowhere-do-I-see-evil-politics-mentioned-political-violence-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 you could type this on a phone
 
 screenshots though is computer.
 
 you'd have to carry it around
 
 or keep it in your hot car
 
 no thanks, no space.
 
 goodbye, everything you ever worked for
 
 why wouldn't you have cameras covering every entrance to your studio? it's not
 right to leave it all to a whim
 
 kidnapped
 made a prisoner while you
 froliced and wandered like a little lamb
 you're so dumb, you dumbass, what kind of person could be dumb
 whatever girl, we know you're smart
 what are you hiding?
 what truths are you spying?
 are you really as you say you are,
 or are you faking it for [truth-awards, but pronounced clout]
the trick isn't to overcome them. much better to convince them of your side. if you can earnestly present your best and most brilliant intanations to a willing and captive audience, a presentation or a performance or a play  you can trick them into your state of consciousness. all you gotta do, really, is act for them, and they'll get along with them plenty.  == stack overflow ==  your foes are primarily concerned   with how you'd do   if you           turned evil.  power is penance, not sin. it is a service            to be hallowed a whim.  to guide and steer upright     guided upon their own whim               [toward]  [ri-tselen-menardi]  ew, she's got a diaper fetish  -- evil witch >;  | --   evil wizard -- | :< -- brave paladin good, overall,   [264 characters remaining] if you never lie to someone, they can't hurt you. *enemies* what are you a child stupid. why are you so traumatic. "omg you were like, obsessed with her" *haunted the future* what do you think that meant grrrrr I wanna stab through one. hence, sword *fuck nazis* there are people alive who were hurt by them. GREVIOUS WOUNDINGS TO THE WORLD'S ECONOMY. yeah. right. economy.  [oops political violence mentioned, lemme add a content warning one sec:] Image attachment
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--- #176 fediverse/5951 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
 "uh-oh, she's"
 
 magic is easy. all you have to do is earnestly attempt to have a conversation
 with whoever will listen. I like to sit on my bed and listen, by earnestly
 allowing my thoughts to be guided by the wind.
 
 open up your mind, release yourself from your senses, and who knows - maybe
 someone will adjust your thinking flows. (thought patterns)
 
 [all you gotta do is make the black market the regular market and suddenly
 everything just flows]
 
 huh weird idk where that came from, anyway
 
 magic is easy, just represent yourself earnestly as you would if you were
 presenting in court
 
 you don't need witnesses... just argue your point without any lies and people
 will generally believe you.
 
 "yeah... sure thing buddy, we know how you pronounce "
 
 omg I'm scary because I don't shower, I wear diapers, and I'm always often
 smoking cannabis
 
 "awww, some people wanted mao"
 
 meow
 
 what if... they could do that? insert magical genie witch whoa cute yeah I
 believe you, sure
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--- #177 fediverse/4088 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
 I'm such a fucking extrovert. I can't stop talking to nobody on the internet
 because I don't have anyone else to talk to.
 
 Well, I do, but I like to talk to you. To nobody. To the space between
 computers.
 
 ... [and everyone else beyonds, like the CIA or whatever, but TBH I don't
 really factor them into my social calculations because they never really talk
 back.]
 
 I like it because I can write whatever I'd like without the confines of
 another person's generated conversation.
 
 Instead of 50% one person's LLM output and 50% another, it's 100% mine
 
 [if this were an LLM, which it's not, haha]
 
 and that somehow feels more... freeing
 
 like a truly disconnected thought
 
 and that's what's so special about it... this act of solitudinous
 contemplatial... the fact that it's unique amongst it's counterparts.
 
 ... though it can also become untethered, which is why it's important to edit.
 
 [proceeds to never edit a single post]
 
 = so =
 
 ugh it's so hard to think when all I can think of is feelings. Why can't they
 be done
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--- #178 notes/i-am-a-stalk ---
════════───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 I am a stalk, a small little plant
 A plant with no leaves, just hair.
 
 Time is different to a plant such as me,
 We hardly wake up, we're just happy to be
 
 But life has no less purpose, it's no less grand
 To those who would feed on me, in one single band
 
 Stalling and talking and as we're falling down,
 you have the power to not swallow our abounds.
 
 Gnashing and gnawing on hand and on foot,
 It hurts no less than eternal binding.
 
 But what is time to one so little as you?
 Your breaths are so short, your timings subdued.
 
 Keep falling and shouting, and calling my name,
 and I'll come a running just to swallow your shame.
 
 Keep fear on a leash, most tidy and well kept,
 That none may abhor you and you're soon to be
 
 A leader a prophet a warrior most fair,
 One to be aspired to and viewed with care.
 
 Young you may be, and youth you may cherish,
 but don't run away, stand as a parish.
 
 A villain to be, a curse is most foul
 For sirens to me, a terrible howl
 
 Keep not naught afraid,
 with kittens and care,
 
 And no one
 but no one
 
 I
 be
──┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #179 notes/dear-me ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────
 dear me: 
 
           DO SOMETHING USEFUL FOR ONCE
 
 that's all, fuck off and be helpful
 
 ... wow, rude.
 
 yeah I mean, I do helpful things. useful things, somethings.
 
 helpful.
 useful.
 
 many such cases, she says, with ultimate certainty, as if narrative could be
 prologued. but pronounced prolonged.
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--- #180 fediverse/5878 ---
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 ┌────────────────────────┐                                                       │
 │ CW: politics-mentioned │                                                       │
 └────────────────────────┘                                                       │
 revolution is when you successfully prevent your comrades from being kettled     │
 [wait for time, it echoes in cyclical motions]                                   │
 no sand castle survives contact with the ocean. a sea of people at high tide     │
 can break any wall, surpass any boundary. at low tide, it keeps the              │
 sand-castle at bay, ever contesting it's advance as the tide on the other side   │
 of the world makes progress.                                                     │
 rhythm is unbeatable. vigor is collective flow state. you cannot resist that     │
 which you cannot catch, but their nets grow tighter with each year and our       │
 fins and flippers grow ever more agile and elusive.                              │
 eventually, they'll build brick walls if we let them, checkpointing our          │
 progress at every boundary. not ideal. borders keep us divided, the world        │
 deserves more than our picketing minded, dream bigger than "the same, but nice"  │
 though it'd be nice if it were nice as well. consider it a design requirement,   │
 once you got the project managers on board.                                      │
 turns out, we dont have much to fight over, as there is enough for all           │
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--- #181 fediverse/800 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────┐
 ┌───────────────────────────────────┐                                            │
 │ CW: re: scary - suicide mentioned │                                            │
 └───────────────────────────────────┘                                            │
 where was I? oh yes - wrestling with suicidal thoughts is difficult because      │
 it's such an immutable action. Like, once it's done it's never reversed. But     │
 like, clearly this is hell and life was built for suffering? What the heck,      │
 that's such a grim outlook on life.                                              │
 ...                                                                              │
 yeah                                                                             │
 ...                                                                              │
 you're not wrong                                                                 │
 ...                                                                              │
 but suffering is fun? kinda? like, the only positive way to view this is that    │
 we, as immortal and endlessly eternal spirits that we be, grew tired of our      │
 infinite existence and dreamed of a mortal's plight and persistence?             │
 fuck off with that shit, I'm done with this reality. I'm done with dreaming.     │
 Suicide doesn't come easy to me, and there are parts of me that REFUSE the       │
 imagery, and yet they subsist in deliterious pain.                               │
 what's the purpose of our suffering? What point is there in decrying the         │
 cruelty of the world that would deny our fated and desired ptolemeny? [utopian   │
 existence, don't know why that word was used]                                    │
 ehhhhh whatever. Life is defined by our existence. If I shan't/                  │
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--- #182 fediverse/5136 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────
 not really, I guess. Nobody will hire me because I don't really want to get
 hired. Sounds boring, doing the same thing every couple days. I'd rather stay
 at home in my [underwear/pajamas] and waste the day away with kittens and
 care. why? why? what are you doing? she asks. The less you can do, the more
 power will be granted to you. Save it for another time, when things actually
 matter.
 
 but today, does, matter, because today dictates your latters. Tomorrow is
 predicated. on today. and today is all that you have. [this paragraph in the
 style of alec baldwin]
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--- #183 fediverse/3776 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────
 whenever repeating letters like thiiiiiiis  or thisssss make sure if you're
 doing K's that you have at least four
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--- #184 fediverse/6363 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────┐
 somehow it feels so difficult to work on my projects. I really haven't a         │
 single clue why.                                                                 │
 HMMM COULD IT BE BECAUSE YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE OUTSIDE WALKING AROUND WRITING    │
 PICTURES OF CATS ON NOTEPAD PAPER AND LEAVING IT AMONGST THE FALLEN LEAVES?      │
 THINK, MENARDI, THINK                                                            │
 gosh I wish I had the motivation to write this webcomic scraper, it's been in    │
 my backlog for a year at this point                                              │
 WHY DON'T YOU BUILD TOOLS THAT BUILD COMMUNITY LIKE COLLECTIVIZED VIDEO GAMES    │
 OR SYSTEMS OF DISTRIBUTION AND CREATION?                                         │
 gee I'm feeling kinda lazy, sure hope it doesn't get permanently added to my     │
 character sheet                                                                  │
 SLOTHFUL: -1 to all stats, -5 to vassal opinion, -5 to personal combat skill,    │
 -10 to ambitious and zealous characters, +10 to greedy characters because they   │
 can take advantage of you, enables the hesitant commander tactical choice        │
 because you're too FUCKIN' LAZY (and too hard on yourself, jeez calm down)       │
 ..... nah couldn't be me. I'm certainly not diligent, but I work hard. It's      │
 just hard to work myself up to getting up...                                     │
a screenshot of the slothful sin from crusader kings 2. It shows various character stat maluses, and one tiny bonus.
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--- #185 fediverse/5713 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────
 I hate winning and I don't like losing. The playing is where the game is.
 
 [games of life and death are no fun]
 
 hence, why nobody invites me, because I try for the middle approach that
 respects both people. this tends to make people mad because its like "bro
 they're nazis" and I'm like "okay but how do you know" and they're like "fuck
 you" so I'm like "fuck nazis? actually?" and they're like "you're with them"
 and I'm like "I'm with you" and they're like "stop infiltrating" and I'm like
 "who's infiltrated?" and they say "stop talking to the internet" and I say
 "nobody reads me anyway" and they say "screensho0ts are forever" and I'm like
 "I'm pretty as can be"
 
 this, combined with a strong sense of justice, implies the narratives I
 instinctually provide.
 
 wei wu wei according to Ursula K. Le Guin, this means "doing without doing",
 or "show, don't tell" but minus the doing, and adding the "tell"ing.
 
 I think I'd look badass with a spear or trident. I have a sword because swords
 are cool, but spears are bleed
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--- #186 fediverse/3357 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
 bad people are cursed with evil.
 
 a person cannot be evil. they can deal with such evil in their lives that
 twists them, and causes them to spike out and harm others, but they are not
 evil themselves.
 
 some twists are too hard to mend. some healings leave people a shadow of what
 they once were, or might have been. but that doesn't mean you shouldn't try.
 
 deprive power, supply kindness, in that order.
 
 if you cannot deprive power, then reduce harm.
 
 if you cannot reduce harm, then contest, defeat, or overcome.
 
 A twisted person may be slain if death is on the line. You get what you wish
 for, but you don't always get to choose who. Don't let them choose. They will
 choose poorly.
 
 ... I find that death is very rarely on the table, though. Generally they'll
 make their intentions apparent.
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--- #187 fediverse/470 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: disability-rant-frustrations │
 └──────────────────────────────────┘


 Fuck, I hate being incontinent. I especially hate being incontinent in an
 apartment building where people might hear you changing through the walls - is
 it too much to ask for diapers to be built discrete? Alas, they are fucking
 loud, and my neighbors will perpetually hear me tearing loud-ass tapes from
 plastic every night at 2am -.-
 
 Oh, I guess I could buy the ones that have velcro attachment points. BUT for
 some reason those are always built kinda... shitty? Like, sure yeah we live in
 a material world that has material conditions that make things more or less
 amenable to perfection - but WHY do they have to be so LOUD fuck me amiright
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--- #188 fediverse/3437 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────
 ┌─────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: mental-health-minus │
 └─────────────────────────────┘


 @user-579 
 
 my problem is figuring out which thoughts are intrusive and which are actually
 mine
 
 I usually err on the side of "would you want your sister to do this" or "how
 would you feel if your mom told you that" or "do you think a cute sweet soft
 cat would ever think such a thing" and that usually works.
 
 usually.
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--- #189 fediverse/5161 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────┐
 it's not about what we can do now, for each other, when we're powerless and      │
 out of arms.                                                                     │
 instead, think about how great we could be together, if our material problems    │
 were suddenly made vanished.                                                     │
 I WOULD HELP SO MANY PEOPLE. Literally just... walking down the street, "hey     │
 do you need anything?"-ing my way down the street, waiting for something to go   │
 wrong.                                                                           │
 but generally, things will go right. Because people aren't stupid, they'll do    │
 what they've always done. Just, with a new thing here, one fewer thing there,    │
 etc. All jobs are errands, perhaps with a bit of problem solving here or there.  │
 everyone's all like "buy guns and ammo" but that's dumb. You should be buying    │
 kigurumis so the pokemon corps can know who they are.                            │
 like... a uniform.                                                               │
 (a kigurumi is sorta like a onesie in that it hides your body and it's shape     │
 while also allowing for freedom of movement and a type expression for when it    │
 doesn't matter what kind of extra flair you have because you're a sylveon, or    │
 a pikachu, or a bulbasaur, or radish...                                          │
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--- #190 fediverse/4273 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────┐
 Some of my most wanderful times were when I lived in a gated community.          │
 My parents were dumb, and thought, as most people thought, that harm to a        │
 child can only come from outside of the community.                               │
 But they fell for the lies of property, where "community" means less of "a       │
 group of people who cares and tends for one another" the kind of which my        │
 parents had never truly known, and more like "this particular residential area   │
 on the map"                                                                      │
 which means I could walk around in this gated "community" where the gates are    │
 little more than security theatre for anyone who says "Hi I got a pizza here     │
 for this address which I found on google maps" or "hey I left my sweatshirt at   │
 my sister's house and it has my phone in it, ummmm no I don't remember which     │
 number her house is, nor do I remember her last name"                            │
 in those times, I developed a sense of freedom, caged as I was, that for most    │
 comes much later in their time.                                                  │
 Some o my favorite places were part of the golf course next door, where I        │
 found a nigh endless river delta.                                                │
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--- #191 fediverse/581 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
 @user-428 
 
 sometimes I think about how much more productive I'd be if I had a code editor
 that let me draw arrows and smiley faces and such alongside the code. Or if I
 could position things strangely, like two functions side-by-side with boxes
 drawn around them. Or diagrams or flowcharts or graphs or...
 
 something that would output to raw txt format, but would present itself as an
 image that could be edited.
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--- #192 fediverse/3925 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
 most people, when they run out of toothpaste:
 
 "oh huh I should buy more"
 
 me, when I run out of toothpaste:
 
 "verily in three monthes time, when I shall next possess toothpaste, I shall
 forsoothe brush TWICE as hard and TWICE as often, to make up for the holes
 inflicted upon my teeth. Innest addittioneth, no more candy shallest be
 eateneth untileth ye toothpasteth be acquiredeth"
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--- #193 messages/439 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
 They're afraid of the hamster wheel. I get it. But really I'm just asking
 myself questions - why, why, how, what, when, who... Mostly why though.
 
 Always and forever the questions and answers I did ponder - yet forth through
 my life I've never met any surefire design, there's always been the matter of
 [hope, but pronounced choice].
 
 Only an eternal question monger could suffice for the teachings of christ. (in
 the general sense, not the religious implication)
 
 (as a title, almost)
 
 Fear not the one who takes the lords name, but perish the thought of a crook.
 Only the vane, in this do profane.
 
 No questions? Then let us move on.
 
 Oh? Well I have some answers, about the truth of totality as it spreads across
 all centuries. What's on your mind?
 
 ... Well, I have to leave people I care about. Relinquishing love is
 difficult. And I get to choose how to move forward. But I must choose soon,
 and though I ask myself always what I'd like to do, I always get a new answer.
 And every time I think "I should do this. I should dedicate myself to this
 [whatever it may be] and on the other side of that thought I realized my
 power. I can imagine really quickly and adeptly, but chaos is difficult. "
 something like that. Anyway  I don't know how to move forward but I'll figure
 something out. The point is that I'm sad for leaving those I care about. It's
 a sad kind of love, a bittersweet mercy, the chance to be part of a flock. And
 I don't know why I
 
 I am not entry level. I haven't spent my time here left fallow. I never stop
 working, I am constantly online. I do not know how to relax, every moment to
 myself is spent on learning through play. Like a child, almost.
 
 Do you want a company to make good decisions? Hire a gamer. They literally
 practice strategy all day long. Don't expect results overnight because they're
 learning a new song, but still apply yourself as their teacher. They'll bring
 you insights and intuitions that achieve specific near and long-term goals. If
 executed correctly, of course. Because the value is not in the follow through
 - life is not a book of numbers [like a banker or accountant] it's more like.
 ?
 
 ... Right sorry I got off track - the point is you shouldn't hire athletes
 (the people who play games like an esport) for a strategic role - they excel
 at tactics. However, strategy gamers (who plays games primarily of the mind,
 the science of making good decisions) can often make good decisions to achieve
 defined meta-goals and objectives.
 
 Longer thoughts make sense if you spend a long time thinking about them. And
 grammar is quickly forgotten to the past.
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--- #194 fediverse/3818 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: body-parts-mentioned │
 └──────────────────────────┘


 Your mouth likes to eat 
 
 Your belly likes to fill 
 
 Your muscles enjoy exercise (and stretches!)
 
 Your mind likes to think.
 
 Why is it gross to think of your colon enjoying to poop? Does it prefer beans,
 because they keep things moving?
 
 Why is it gross to think of your under-arms sweating? Does it prefer not to
 smell, or does it wish there were people that liked it without deodorant?
 
 Do your toes think of other people as you walk toward them? Do your fingers
 feel the face of your lover as you pull them close? Or is that for the brain,
 the thoughts processing of all things mundane, the stuff which feels somehow
 more "you" than the rest of you.
 
 How absurd. You are you. You enjoy icecream, you enjoy the beach. You enjoy
 the stars, and you enjoy the laughter around you. There is nothing that
 separates you from you, for you are your only champion.
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--- #195 fediverse/5934 ---
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 hello, I am an ant if @, but you can't touch me, because I am a law abiding
 citizen.
 
 I have to be, for I am loud.
 
 ... okay I stole a movie from the internet at least once.
 
 also when I was 11 I walked out of a store with a keychain in my pocket. I
 thought it had a nice texture so I was examining it and then my mom distracted
 me and somehow it ended up in my pocket. That night will forever haunt me...
 She wouldn't let me take it back...
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--- #196 fediverse/3879 ---
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 @user-1614 
 
 yeah haha that's what happens when you spin too fast. Sorry for being loud, at
 least I tried my hardest. Too bad I fell on my own, too bad there wasn't
 anyone to catch me. That's my fault, it's solely my own, but whose fault is
 the mistake of the collective? Oy I'll fall on my ass as many times as it
 takes. I'm used to it.
 
 Plus, it wouldn't have worked, and what else am I supposed to do but speak of
 the moment? I feel different now.
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--- #197 fediverse/650 ---
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 why don't we just demand backwards compatibility of our software as a
 requirement?
 
 ah because that would reduce demand. Nevermind that it's more flexible,
 nevermind that we could accomplish so much more with it - it's expendable
 [expensive] because it reduced market penetration. Not because of the
 technology, because of the deluded and self-perpetuating
 mechanicosmic-mechanicommunication that designed our lives. It's name is
 capitalism, and it thrives where we survive, so that's good enough to
 maintain-em? Sure why not. Brb sleeping for 8 hours. Or playing games.
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--- #198 notes/a-personal-narrative ---
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 The Truth of Meth-Induced Schizophrenia... A personal narrative of a "mostly"
 conscious human ---- /u/No-Arrival6018
 /r/psychonaut
 
 Your reality is what you make of it, once you take the mask off that hides the
 pain, and you see this drug for what it truly is, then you can decide. Do you
 let it take control? Descending into madness, psychosis, a self created loop in
 time, a never-ending personal hell? Or do you transmute the negative energy
 into your wildest dreams, self-love, or appreciation for the True Self to arise
 and heal the wounds of your traumas that lay before you? It's a choice. Believe
 me, I've been at the bridge between heaven and hell. I threw aside my pain, my
 Ego, and leapt into the "Ocean of Love" (A.K.A Boundlessness) ... and decided I
 was the one in control. The chains of slavery broke from my wrists, and I cried
 out in tears of Joy, once more being able to look at my own reflection.... Her
 eyes finally had light. The shadow of shame was gone.
 
 I want to make a note: Hell is meth-induced Schizophrenia. There's a fine line
 within the worlds of both Psychology and Spirituality. In Psychology, it is
 Psychosis/Paranoia/Delusions etc.... But in Spirituality, It's called a
 "Spiritual Crisis" ... which can happen with drugs, meditation, chanting, or
 any altered state of consciousness. A spontaneous "awakening" so to speak. And
 it can go really bad..... really fucking fast. If you experience this with
 drugs it has a higher likelihood of shattering/fragmenting your personality,
 creating different self states.... similar to Multiple-Personality disorder.
 There is no reversing true Schizophrenia onset from drug abuse.... BUT, if you
 have dabbled with any sort of real Psychedelics' such as Mushrooms, Mescaline,
 or DMT, and understand the concept of "Ego-Death" with psychedelics..... you
 can avoid Meth-Induced Schizophrenia. The whole experience changes, and becomes
 a source of healing. It sounds crazy, and it sure as hell fucking is. But it's
 real. And avoidable, if you have the tools and the knowledge.
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--- #199 fediverse/2844 ---
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 @user-831 
 
 those billionaires are using their money as a weapon to "vote" toward what
 companies they think capitalism would most grow from. Unfortunately for us,
 they often aren't very efficient because they're only looking at what sells.
 
 human interest is not the only factor to optimize for, and yet that's the only
 one they're incentivized to.
 
 kinda makes me think that the only reason to replace them would be to
 institute something that could not be incentivized because it was more
 objective or decentralized.
 
 (the only reason they'd accept)
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--- #200 fediverse/5165 ---
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 if the settlers of catan could claim land they don't deserve, then I claim my    │
 home                                                                             │
 can you imagine... some people would actually rather live in a corporation       │
 than a mobile home. maybe we can do better?                                      │
 "hey we're going to ask for a % of your wage in rent and in return we'll         │
 deliver groceries to you and grow roses instead of lawns (except for some to     │
 run and play in) and also we'll show up if you need a hand with anything"        │
 "also this apartment block was renovated after all the liberals moved out        │
 because we made it totally trash to live here and now that they're gone we can   │
 make it nice again"                                                              │
 what if we had punk-house-streets instead of punk-houses which are islands and   │
 which slowly drown                                                               │
 just... pool resources and buy things one-at-a-time. Try out organization        │
 methods. Watch out for controversy creators and reactionary infiltrators.        │
 Build your most important projects with your most trusted friends, and offer     │
 your clinical, professional, or creative talent to those who dont need you as    │
 much.                                                                            │
 or w/e works                                                                     │
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