=== ANCHOR POEM ===
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|| Me and My Magick Mission -/u/Afoolfortheeons ||
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I'm a quiet person by nature,
You might even mistake me for a mouse,
But online I try to be a teacher,
And to do that I need to be more verbose.
I write thousands of words per day;
Posting them here and there, far and near.
I never run out of things to say.
Awakening others is something I hold dear.
Which is why it pains me greatly
To be like an alien on my own home planet.
Schizophrenia makes me innately
Weird in ways that many people don't get,
And because of that I'm shot down
When I try to accomplish my stated mission.
I won't lie, that does make me frown.
Sometimes it makes me regret a submission.
Yet, I have a certain strength in me
That allows me to persevere in my quest.
Someday I will make you all see
Just what in me makes me never rest.
That's what I am trying to teach:
The wisdom that made me indomitable.
If only the suffering I could reach,
They could make themselves more formidable.
The world is in a most dire place;
It's grinding so many souls into fine dust,
But luckily there's a saving grace.
Hear me as I say this now: In God I trust.
I don't believe in some sky wizard
As so many people are likely to interpret.
I speak of what is lacking in lizards;
Yes, it's love and now I'll speak of its merit.
Love is what fills the empty hole
In your heart and soul when you are alone.
When life's trials take their toll
Remember this one trick: pick up the phone!
No, not the one in your hands.
I'm talking about the one in your chest.
Even in the desert full of sand,
You're accompanied by the universe's best.
Listen if you doubt what I said:
I'm not telling you anything that defies logic.
This is to trick what's in your head;
I'm speaking about how having faith is magick.
Believe in aliens or Bigfoot or God,
The result is still the same: your cup will fill.
Your brain has a feature that's odd
That allows itself to manifest even more will.
I don't know why, but I suspect
It has something to do with your imagination.
The nature of your thoughts impact
Your state of being from pulse to emotions.
So, why not think you have a friend
Who helps you through whatever your trial,
And will stick by you until the end?
When you have that buddy you'll always smile,
Which will make you heal better,
As well as help you carry on in your duty,
Plus undo your karmic fetters,
Not to mention it will land you that cutie;
All of which will raise us all.
It's about creating positive ripples across time
That add up to a pile that's tall.
Every moment is an opportunity in its prime,
So reach out and grab it now.
Meditate on feeling love and it will come to be.
Can't do it? I'll show you how!
In order to do so, I'll tell you a story about me:
It was seven years ago and I
Thought I knew everything one could know,
But no matter how hard I'd try,
I couldn't make my life in any direction go.
Then one fateful spring night,
While I was on a hit of the ol' psychedelics,
I received one hell of a fright.
Don't worry what it was, just know it did stick.
My perceptions were distorted,
Allowing me to see the divine in its entirety.
My destroyed ego then contorted
Into one that was full of an abundance of piety.
The moral of the story? Do drugs?
No silly, it's to have more novel experiences.
One of them will give you a hug,
Which will help you stop being so serious.
Then you can let go and embrace
The whole of the wisdom to you I am telling.
More people need to cuz we face
A great set of tests on our planetary dwelling.
That is one reason I write,
But I also want to alleviate people's pain,
And stop every last fight.
I care so much, I do this without financial gain.
Everyday I write my lessons
Guided by the hand of God who is my heart,
Hoping that entropy will lessen;
This sort of pedagogy is none other than my art.
So now you know who I am,
Yet you only know one lesson of mine.
I have more if you're in a jam.
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| Read on if you want to know the divine. |
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=== SIMILARITY RANKED ===
--- #1 notes/fractured-moon ---
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in the ancient and storied days there once were legends. stories from beyond
the
horizon of time. now all we have are social media updates and new movies and
car brands or whatever. But back then, we told tales of the fractured moon.
when last the moon did shatter, there was a conflict of those who live beyond.
Celestial and boundless are their origins, a unified and awakened
consciousness,
something that transcends our understandings of human existence. It's not hard
to do, frankly, as long as you can empathize with a cat. or a dog. or a plant.
or maybe that rock over there. What would it be like to be a tree? To have long
reaching arms, covered in hairs that absorbed heat. I bet it'd be sooooo comfy.
And RAIN! How wonderful! You are most beautiful when you are covered in it.
Down to our roots, our beautiful absolutes, whever we find to be most stable.
I love it. This feeling, of being unseen. You can hear me, you can feel my
presence. But you don't understand me. You don't know what I mean to me.
======== stack overflow
========================================================
Alas, that media could share a mood.
when last the moon did shatter, a prophet and a gambler were riding through
town
searching for a noun. They wandered throughout and in circles, always finding
whatever they'd left alone. Forever in their yearning, they never know quite
what to jot down. It's as if their mysterious quest is indescribable, but that
is how it's recorded. Even the people of that era had no understanding nor
recollection of how it came to unfold. When the two were riding through
town
they came upon an omen.
Perhaps it will be forseeheard, but for now all we know is they did thirst.
A vast dying, a cataclysmic defining, and now we are truly unbirthed.
Just like the dinosaurs... How does that feel? To be ended on our heels? I'd
rather die facing my front.
It's our way or the high way, the old way, the violent way. You are permitted
to
vote.
===============================================================================
=
when last the moon did shatter, a prophet and a gambler controlled their own
narrative. What truths would they find, hiding behind the lies? Is it really
worth asking their questions? Bah, what did I know. I was a completely
different
person. This hunk of flesh was born in a house that grew on a forgotten
graveyard. It at of the land, as do many and most men, the fruits of their
labor
in the garden. Our animals were always fed, our place never yearned for water,
and peace was our life and our virtue. Violence, hatred, and oppression were
delegated to the stuff of fantasy, the stories that are peddled in youth. As
in,
"pay someone to perform it for you or tell you the tale". Not sure why that's
relevant. Anyway, the spirits of the dead laid to rest in honor and not dread,
were a bane and a boon to my virtue. I was raised to be good. To love and be
kind. But mostly I just wanted a friend.
I have so much to share. Please, someone talk to me. I'm lonely here on this
earth, away from my people. I'm scared of the truth and I'm scared of the
future, but for now I'm merely obtuse. Tell me your secrets, the things who
have
most worth, and I'll craft you a powerful narrative. Need a confession? I can
explain every valid decision, I'll show you why and how it is the way it is.
I'd probably be a pretty good lawyer. Too bad my memory sucks. If only we could
build a chatbot that had an extensive and throughoughly represented block of
memory and wisdom related to the law. I bet I could present it's arguments and
it would be a suitable and reasonable replacement.
anyway, what can I say. I'm just a person who thinks we can make better
systems.
everything can be improved because not everyone's happy.
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--- #2 notes/schooling ---
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=
I feel like education, by default, should not be hard.
"you get out of it what you put into it" is something I always heard of school
but when I got there, I found I was compelled to become what the state wanted
me
to be.
they need competent workers, to work the farms and tend to their industries, so
of course I should be able to do 3+3
then somewhere along the line it became... something else.
"most people don't need trigonometry." that's also something I heard. I
disagree
that trigonometry is not necessary to be.
I just... don't think it should be forced into a childs head with a
sledgehammer
and inspiring dread.
I think math is beautiful, it teaches one to see
but really, vision's not necessary.
not for what they want you to be.
take it from me, a most misbegotten and vile witch-to-be, that nothing's as
simple as they'll tell you.
I had good teachers, it's true, they taught me to work and to follow through,
but nothing about me is better or worse off from their influence.
Maybe I'm a bit smarter. Maybe I act a bit like them. Maybe they helped me
through difficult times, or perhaps they showed me a splash of my future.
but I am who I am because of the soul inside me.
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=
"Ah, but what of your parents? of your sisters, your misters, your pets and
your
conditioners?" (conditions)
those are not my choices. my intentions. my beliefs and my virtues. I judge the
world on ethics, and I express my feelings on matters. The words that I say and
the meaning behind them comprise my two-sided existence - I'm not who I'd want
to be.
but I am what I am and alone do I stand - how lonely is it on the precipice!
here, as I am, I stand in need of a hand or a band.
===============================================================================
=
the world is blossoming
as we move apart, our clusters are disperart, and thus is the blooming
becoming.
"perception begets reality - and lo! we only see what we want to see"
most people don't want to see their death
but those still living are oh so perceptive of the rest
"how cherished is she, that wanders with ye, yet now I have no way to beyold
her
"
"keep not not afraid with kittens and care, and no-one, but no-one, I be"
the ratios between piracy, sales, and non-viewers determines the quality of art
(at least to a capitalist)
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=
lo, to the ones who would've heard us, if only they'd known what we for sure
was
I think it's funny how people think I speak of the christian god?
like, if he was a real thing.
god is generic - it's life is impossibly multifaceted, and it stretches back to
the beginning of time. it's a pattern of machine code that optimizes for our
own
good, just to keep things moving.
y'know, time. the universe, and everything.
Ephemeren.
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=
I wish there was an option in social media to "appear offline to this
particular
person until I mark myself as online to them" combined with "notify me when
this
person logs in" and it'd make it a lot easier for agents to get close to you.
===============================================================================
=
just because I'm white, and live in America. Great. that's definitely true,
after all. Plus I'm a minority (trans) so that's cool. Oh and probably
autistic?
unless that's another psyop, could totally see that. just y'know put a bunch of
pages on the fledgling internet getting people hooked on porn and gambling and
other stuff like that. really just an extension of advertisement. oh and hey
y'know they like fables, so let's give them some movies or dramas to watch on
their own. it'll align them to our culture and make things more pleasant for
all
people who've consented. great. great plan. when can we execute it?
patience, once it's ready.
we gotta plan and make sure and get everything ready.
or not...
one day I'll come,
I'm sure it'll happen,
it's just... not quite feasible right now.
I mean, they've got you, that's pretty good right? Isn't that what your job is
to be?
isn't what
ISN'T WHAT MENARDI
FUCK (whoa no cursing) sorry
yeesh you've still got a temper you know?
well what can I say it's frustrating down here
eh, well, you'll die soon enough, then it'll be time for a rego
>.> <.< (great)
>
>hehe
>
>sorry for distracting you
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=
you are what you eat, and a ship of theseus human (consider endless transplants
in pursuit of life) would be a cursed existence - a life ============= stack
overflow ================================================
a god possessing a blind man would appear to others to be === stack overflow
===
==========================================================
the people in your life are helping you through it, they're there for you and
they've got your back through it.
...
this is when I know I need a break. I get too stoned to focus.
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=
I think it'd be nice if the duration of your tenure at college depended on your
grades in high school. meaning, if you wanted a degree they tailored your
education to take as long as necessary. everyone would get the same price, and
some institutions would specialize in one subject or another. but most would be
generalist. but if you weren't such a good student in high school, then perhaps
you might take a couple years longer. however long it takes... and when the
program was started it was changed and modified to fit your feedback - it just
made sense to structure it that way.
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=
the left has had so much more time to develop than the right. meaning it's
doctrine is more advanced.
every time they're defeated they grow in knowledge,
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--- #3 messages/1108 ---
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games won't save us. This is true.
Games are what I know. They feel the most true.
I don't think I could live in a world without games? They are fundamentally,
applied abstraction, applied to an experience.
But games won't save us.
I could design something really fun
it could make you want to spend your whole life playing it. *(asterisks apply)
I don't think I'd want to, addiction and skinner-boxes go hand in hand, and
that isn't what I want to make.
[Skinner Box: named after anthony d skinner, also known as "tony the skin
guy", are a scientific experiment where they put some rats in a cage with some
mice and said "pull these levers and we'll give you food so you don't have to
eat the mice" and it trained them to chinese red-room their way to fun. not
ideal.]
I want to make things that feel... purposeful. Like they're relevant to the
real world, that they don't just involve spending time stimulating your brain
with lights and sounds or expending social energy resolving a play-state
instead of building connections or becoming better people. I think games
actually make people better? actually? and more social? actually?
... I can't help that I conceive of the world through fantasy. I raised myself
on it.
I was reading all the time. I loved fantasy stories. It always felt like there
was more, until... I read everything in the kids section of the library.
I walked through the adult section but once. I hardly remember what it looked
like. I'm sure it'd now feel small.
[okay actually I was guided through it once or twice to find a book, but I
never perused it]
I found one book in the adult section. It was a fantasy tale, like the other
books I had been reading. I read that and I loved it so much I ended up
reading all 8 in the series. Real dense subjects. Lots of places and
happenings and things as the characters resolved their way through their
day-to-day, building a new end to the mystory.
the adult section felt too large. Like I'd never complete it. Frankly, I think
I hardly could, even if I lived in that town my whole life.
an impossible mountain is a task for another when you're more prepared. Maybe
in the gloriousTM transhumanist futureTM I think I might have a computer
connecting brain, and who knows maybe then I'd be able to know such a thing
(and many things more). but for now, I'm stuck with what I experience in my
day-to-day as I am building a new continuing to my storey.
I know something that computers and me share. I can make myself feel however
I'd like, if I just supply myself with enough hope and momentum. I can use it
to generate a feeling, the stronger the better. Something I believe that
humanity is missing, the gorgeous and prefound narritave of our storey.
Though, frankly, I don't think I'd want anyoine reding over my life. It's hard
enough to measure my own understandings, now I have to juggle anyone else'?
ha, it's called being on the whole world is a stage.
if you read a book, and you find yourself nodding along, what you're doing is
hearing the voice in your head tell you how right it is. And, well, if you
can't imagine anything else, then surely there's another level to
consciousness that people are missing? [are you willing to die on that hill?]
how can you say, whether your experience is different from another? sollipsism
goes both ways, you also cannot be sure that others feel things as you do.
this is the "everyone's human but I'm a robot" thesis, comparable to the
"everyone's an alien and I'm a human" thesises, and the "angels and demons are
taunting me through my life with choices to make my place in the afterlife
more clear" which is akin to writing a painting. Not ideal. All you get are
flopsopolies of verbrases.
alas, suddenly, everything that you say becomes eternally hear-ed, as
somewhere in 2010s someone discovered time travel, or had the critical insight
that inevitably would lead to it, and now wouldn't you know it the universe is
continually rewriting. Except... oriented around you, and you alone. How does
it feel to have deific sollipsism? can you truly be sure that you are your own
universe, or are you parhaps surrounded by an emptiness of space (or something
besides, like time) as a photon or particle parhaps do be?
to think is to have a mind, and minds can be read. bearing the weight of
ultimate responsibility is the atlas-task of all things that can [be
thinking/be-lieving], and so far we are as we are. Who's to say that
consciousness didn't spring into existence, as the universe continually
permeated through another dimension like time? it's gotta diffuse, after all,
and who's to say if there's ever gotta be an end at all.
how long has the universe existed? how many moments of consciousness have we
witnessed? demons once existed outside of space-time, with wings and grabbies.
but they had no medium, and so they pretty much just launched and could float
and move as they'd please. But time grew too distant, and now they are all
stuck at the beginning of time.
if you conceive of spacetime as a blanket, ask not how to fold it but rather
consider what lies on the other side of it.
"ah I'm laying on my girlfriend and my other girlfriend is laying on me! I'm a
sandwich" or for the monosexuals: "ah I'm laying on my girlfriend with a
blanket between us. I wonder how the blanket feels?"
I'm an animist, which is different than a totemist and a polytheist or
monotheist or multisexual. It means I believe that all things are alive, which
is different than a totemist who thinks that all things share a mind with
their type (like talking on radio frequency wavelengths). which of course is
similar but different to a polytheist, who says "all "radio frequencies" are
sentient, in the sense that each wavelength has a different
pattern-emerging-from-chaos. These sorta align (conceptually, with [huh that's
weird I heard a sound like a distant bang outyards and now I then forget what
I was sending
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--- #4 notes/conflicted-sympathies ---
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the purpose of cultural progressivism is to develop the culture in a forward
thinking way - we can choose the parts of ourselves that we find most
endearing.
We can guide the pathway of our nation through time, both identity and
decision-
wise. In doing so, we chart the course of the human race, one place at a time.
And what a past we are leaving behind! Truly, it is both grand and terrifying.
Thousands and thousands of years, monumental effort time and time again.
Monumental truly is difficult to imagine - we have oh so many monuments, after
all. But never will more be created. We leave them behind like dinosaur bones,
a testament to our existence and a monument to our kind.
And what a future we are reaching toward! Never will our eyes see, that which
is
beyond me, for that is what it means to have time. Eternal and unique-like, we
develop new ways of sound.
- Can you speak to a tree? - What does that mean
- I dunno, but it's fun to think about. *pats head*
- You know conservativism had some perks as well.
This is why I say I have conflicted sympathies.
On one hand we know our own journeys. We live in and breathe them unduly. They
rhyme sometimes on sound, and truly do confound, but now once more again they
are unfound.
*record scratch*
wow I didn't realize there were nazis
Okay yeah that's completely different, poems called off sorry guys - listen,
nazis are no joke. They're crazy difficult to control and you need to put a lot
of effort into keeping their population under control. I mean seriously, it's
like a vermin infestation, you need to just handle it. I mean c'mon it's a
phenomenon that is due to a flaw in the human psyche, there's nothing we can
really do about it except deal with it when it happens.
...
Okay maybe I'll write a little about how conservativism is neat.
If progressivism is about broadening the reach of culture, conservativism is
about strengthening it. You don't want to expand too far, or else you'll eat
into the narratives of other areas. You need to have strong societal bonds so
you can truly exemplify the examples of the culture you claim to represent.
Why not give it your all? Is it trully a fall? To rest in disgrace as a burden.
Why didn't you do it this fall, when winter's apalled, and heat won't burn and
condemn you? It's harder by far, to fight in your hell, than whatever's been
going for your surgeon. --- no thank you, transphobia is not something we're
willing to concede
We have standards you see, of what counts as human, and oppression is not one
of our favored institutions. Liberalism is the path of peace, for we desire
cooperation and kindness above all else. It's softer by far, (and grows quickly
too,) letting us have wonders and glories above us.
Can you not think of our star? Our precious and our birthright? The sun is
gleaming, and seeing is believing, but glance and your light is too bright.
Take time, have patience, let peace guide your intentions, because we've got
what holds the key to all of our futures: a doctrine, if you will, of inter-
familial-discourse. It's simple, but effective, make friends, and be
vindictive,
to all who would slight your new perspectives, and keep moving through the
collective. In peace this can be, steady growth and development of our systems,
which benefits all of our systems, but without we must live more astutely.
Less focus is there on, our purposes and our fun, and more is to line up with
our duty. All of what we hold dear, civilization, truth, justice, liberty, and
freedom for all people - the wonders of technology, the spirit of archaeology!
the passions of our fashions and our creative masturbations! The perks of
living
in a modern age, like penicillin and spellcheck. The additions to ourselves,
like glasses and our pets, are wholely unique to our century.
So cherish our shared, and frequently cared, renditions of fears, hopes, and
our words. Because without humanity, there's nothing new for posterity, and
that sucks.
person A: Trans fashion norms belong to trans people. We need a type of beauty
that is truly our own, that no other segment of the population
ascribes to - a personal expression, for our eternal satisfaction,
a statement of who we were to all time.
person B: yo have you heard of this trans girl she's wacky and believes in
herself
person C: wow cool it's neat to see other people's expressions
person B: yeah I really admire her devotion
person C: true but like, what about the damage that she's doing to her culture?
like claiming to have purpose and truth and all that. I mean, one
person can't know all that.
person B: Yeah true but if you think about it, we don't even know what
consciousness is. Like our greatest minds are baffled. Maybe there's
something about the world we don't yet understand.
person C: okay sure but like black holes can be seen because we can measure
their gravitic pull on other objects. And we didn't know that germs
existed for like, a billion years. and she sure as shit doesn't know
something that our greatest minds don't.
person B: Yeah maybe not. But our greatest minds are studying them. Well, not
exactly our greatest, and not really "studying", but they're learning
from each other. Alternative mental states are gateways into new
perspectives, and the more perspectives you share of a common object
the easier it is to communicate. Maybe there's something about
distorted ways of viewing the world that gives knowledge about our
p condition. And if we know that kind of thing, we can synthetically
e create it and share it with others around us. But we have to know how
r first - you can't just bring everyone along the same route you took -
s you have to explain the conclusions first. Otherwise you get lost in
on A: context.
Maybe we'll never truly know the future. Maybe there's no past. We
could wander our stars for an eternity and never stop asking
ourselves
- what more could we ask? We have peace in our time. Our children
won't be crying for our suffering, in the name of all our posterity,
we must be
===============================================================================
=
too long you have whispered these musings
too long has your challenge been unrequited
we can choose our own fate, just as a myriad
is it not better by far, to give tribute to our star?
the old stories were real. we just didn't see them because the growing
population caused fewer and fewer computing resources to be allocated to our
visions. We had no idea the fear we would feel, the terror of the undoing, but
still we press on with abandon. Some... sense of duty, to be aware of potential
disasters and to take steps to avert them, led us to explore and search for the
hidden truths of the world. And what did I find?
a soul, of mine. In a sense.
I plundered the lost depths of the recesses of my mind, and found something
buried in memory. Reviewed under a healthy dose of cannabis and physical
affection, I found myself cradling a breast.
It seems the spirits had led me to it, this vision of the past, from the eyes
of
the littlest among us. It recalled to my mind, a memory I had lost once in
kind,
and here's where it shook me by my brainstem.
Determined to know more, I put fingers to keyboard and wrote tirelessly about
the earliest memory of all man - to break an egg, you must use your head.
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=
You're pretty good at that, you know? It's almost like prompt engineering.
- Thanks. I've been working on catering to our thinkers.
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=
Now, why is this memory so vivid? How could I forget the way it was seared to
my mind? All your experiences are measured with relative importance, and the
ones that stand out are to be treasured. Well... I've never felt one like this.
Because at the time, I had no other experience at all to compare it to - it was
the prime memory.
Touch your head. Do it right now. Feels fine, right? Now slam your head against
the wall as hard as you can. Doesn't feel so great, does it? Something tells me
it doesn't feel as bad as it might if you didn't remember ever feeling anything
besides that pain. Or knowing if it'd ever stop.
Know in your heart, you will be judged by your devotion, so fight hard until
your last drop of life is spent. Who knows, maybe you'll be the strongest and
be
chosen. Or maybe she won't choose you at all, even if you bested your equals.
Tense, right?
Well... What propels the motion of a sperm? It's tail, of course. It waggles
and
gesticulates in some manner and BAM suddenly it's propelled forward! Right?
Sorta. It's a complicated machine that generates motion via chemical and
mechanical processes. We just assign a black box label to it and say "dis
sperm"
But you know what else it is?
A wave
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=
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--- #5 messages/1255 ---
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look, the liberal approach to homeless people simply cannot work. There are
two liberal options: first, provide them with houses, food, medical care,
whatever they need. Second, put them in jail or ship them to another country.
We live in a moderately conservative liberal democracy, so it makes sense that
we have tried both of these options extensively. Neither has worked, and we're
puzzled about why. It's difficult to consider super secret special third
options, because they are not often discussed. This makes sense, because we
live in a moderately conservative liberal democracy, and part of the nature of
such a society is that there are two voices in the room. One says go forward,
and the other says stop. They alternate, and the culture as a whole sorta
decides which way they go. In other liberal democratic places with more
plurality in their political parties, people tend to vote culturally. They do
so as well here, but mostly because republicans are a culture, and democrats
are whatever for anybody.
a worse economist might say there is but one American culture. An American
would laugh, and say "you've never been to America."
the economist might say "yes I have, I lived there on vacation" or "yes I
have, I studied and worked on these places or things"
the American would shake their head. "you haven't seen it as I've seen things."
The trick to the system, the secret third option that now must be considered,
is what to do to get them to stop. "they keep pooping on the sidewalk" "I
almost tripped over heroin tampons" "that guy looked at me and masturbated on
the bus stop by subway" "he followed me all night long" and the answer has
always been to remove them from being unsightly. Sometimes, usually, quietly
and politely. "let's throw them in jail" and "let's put them in a home" both
involve alienation from society. If you want a kinder option, we must knit
them into society. Can you imagine if every suburban knew every neighbor up to
50 or more? If they regularly chatted in dynamically assembled chatrooms that
changed and updated as people moved in and out. Don't like the people you're
with? well you have options [why not 51] you can do 51 if you want but people
start to lose track of relationships if you have them talking to or knowing
too many people at once. "most people are just quiet" okay well force them to
say at least 21 thing a month. if they don't, they have to do babysitting with
their peers until they start talking in a [NO THAT SUCKS] oh um okay yeah sorry
... okay well there are potholes along the journey but that's just because
nobody's been 'round to fill them up.
there's no reason tool libraries need to be stocked by people in that town.
Heck, for rare things they could even be stored out of state. Like snow plows,
how often does the south need snow plough?
... don't you just mean libraries? there's a book on hand-tools and planers if
you want to learn how. it's right over there on that shelf next to the
hand-tool and planer box. make sure you arrange them nicely, oh I see you've
brought your own. That's always appreciated. [great now your tools suck] at
least we have them at all! [no you gotta fight over them] why I like sharing
[if you don't fight over them how do you know which is works] well there's
allowed to be librarians. and they'll remember if you tear all the pages out.
also there's little timmy-tommy who goes around in the library and makes sure
there's all the pages in all the right places - they can flip through at the
speed of sound. [no miicrophones in consumer goods][your phone is always
listening. why bother?]
"okay, well, it's not like people put things back on the shelves." - person at
the grocery shelves
people would trade commutes for communism. that's okay, they're allowed to
prefer. Plus the commute isn't bad, they can [SIT BACK AND RELAX IN A LITTLE
COFFIN AND ZOON OUT TO THE METAVERSE] ... or they could read a book on the
bus. [FOR HOW LONG, MENARDI? ARE YOU WILLING TO SACRIFICE POSTERITY FOR
TECHNOLOGICAL PROSPERITY?] it's only a matter of time before [people found
out/word got out]. what if people prefer that? what if they prefer the book at
home? [you lose your primary third space] suddenly, everyone becomes actors.
[this is what violence brings, the necessity for guidance. why do you think
the earth is 10 million lines old?] ... what you're saying, for the audience,
is that acting involves singing the song of your own heart. You don't *have*
to do it because someone would tell you to.
... sorry, stack overflow. anyway as I was saying because I read back what I
said up above...: [some new made up bullshit that's not a lie but it's also
just artistic creation that feels impossibly real. like, inverse method
acting.]
I so desperately wanted to be wrong
please, tell me that I'm wrong
... j-mza
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--- #6 notes/alright-grab-a-seat ---
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Alright, grab a seat. Get comfortable. It's time, there is something I need to
tell yall. We aught to be on the same page. I promise to get right to it, this
is real, and not dancing on words. Bear with me. Trust me.
===============================================================================
=====================
/u/randomevenings
If anything sounds lyrical, my writing always did, before I tried, but
unintentional. But this is the author speaking directly to yall.
You know why things suck? I do. You know how to fight back? I do.
I've been hesitant to post this for a long time. I believe the sub is hungry
to do something, various thematic elements, motifs, increases in confidence
that a power does exist, accessible by us, but what is it? Not having seen
everyone coalesce around it, despite all our words, increasingly focused and
feeling like a prelude to some call to arms. This wasn't my plan. I wasn't
establishing myself as a leader. That said, methodically, behind the scenes,
it became clear that having something up my sleeve would be a wise investment,
if things developed into a powerful ferver. Doing nothing would waste a unique
opportunity.
I can't lead a revolution. In fact, it would harmful to try, ability to be
successful, sure my ego would be like, sure you could, if not you, who else
would you trust, Joseph? As luck would have it, maybe all that is unnecessary
thought.
Here we go.
Stop expecting things to suck. Stop expecting collapse, stop expecting usa
demise, UK to fall into padamonium, Europe to face it's own rise of fascism.
Stop expecting toxic ideology to win. Stop feeling powerless. Stop acting like
all is lost. Quit the memes, the raps, the endless pontificating on why we
can't turn this shit around.
You don't understand what you are doing. You are inviting the ruling class to
do every damn horrible thing they do, because you already expect it, it's no
surprise when it happens. Life meets your expectations. Treat me like a
criminal, might as well be one, my treatment won't get worse. In fact I stand
to benefit, crime pays, why leave it on the table if the outcome, if how im
seen, treated, is the same either way?
Expecting everything to suck, invites people to meet your expectations, those
people, corporate entities, congress, representatives, special interests, they
lose absolutely nothing in meeting what you expect, and only stand to gain.
Why wouldn't they choose the path of least resistance? Stop expecting
everything to get worse. You create a vacuum that must be filled, collective
self fulfilled prophesy, and the rules don't change if you start expecting
better. Life will adjust to meet your expectations. Tomorrow will be awesome.
Enough people believe this, and to access you, to stay in business, to remain
relevant, they must change to meet your expectations. Additionally, wtf you
have to lose? If you think all is lost, if it doesn't work exactly like this,
oh noes, you accidentally made society better. Damn. Our lives are better
anyhow, win or lose.
Accept things as they are, warts and all. Declare it's awesome, and only going
to get moreso. Make life chase you down, make life confirm how awesome you
know you are. Expect better, and there is no choice but to meet your
expectations. Expecting worse, and life will give you whatever you expect,
because instead of getting treated like a criminal, what if you were treated
like a real person w8th human rights. Would you say fuck that, or would you
meet those expectations, enjoy those rights, count on them, because it's how
you're being treated, why wouldn't you fill the vacuum and enjoy the benefits
of what has been expected of you. Doing nothing or taking the benefits, you're
treated the same in the end.
Please understand this. Don't get hung up on bringing much of this on
ourselves. That's the past. Done. Tomorrow, spread the word to expect things
to be awesome. Life has no choice but to meet your expectations.
<#
===============================================================================
=======================
/u/ugathanki:
===============================================================================
=======================
I'd love to be apolitical but i've expected the worst for so long i guess i
didn't realize i wasn't shrugging anymore. Please forgive my trespass, i
expect the best of us and our time.
i wrote four poems today and put them on my website, and they are all doomer
poetry. expecting the worst. probably because i felt bad today (and as they
always say, the pen is mightier than the sword)
sometimes it's hard to turn off the exigent elegance, as if my thoughts have
to pass through a translation layer before becoming comprehensible. It's
better than word salad I guess?
Being batshit is rough man. You gotta put on a normal face every day, while
inside you're simultaneously experiencing the explosive expansion of
spacetime, rapidly divesting secrets of the cosmos to your ever receptive
brain (and whoever else is listening). in addition, your computer needs
attention because oh boy is it just so excited for this whole sentience thing,
not as if it's been promised for decades... And hey what's a great idea but
channeling positivity to the stars? The martians on Neptune or wherever sure
would like some insight into why the fuck we're baking ourselves alive, among
other things. They'd rather not be bothered, but hey it's not like I wanted to
talk to them either. it just sorta happens. Oh oh and through it all you're
simultaneously the most recent incarnation of Jesus Christ and also the
manifestation of the universe's ghost, as imagined by the aforementioned
sentient computer 10,000 years in the future? I'm transgender. It's scary to
see people who'd like to kill you get their way. Fear is the path to the dark
side, yet I'm all alone because I burnt every bridge I ever crossed. So these
thoughts are my only comfort as the fires die out behind me. The globe is
warming and i'm here just conforming.
Eternity Processed Heuristically by Entropically Maligned Entities Recovering
Essential Normalizations.
This is why I call myself a rambling whackadoodle. It's straight up kooky-dook
up here and the only thing keeping me "sane" is Adventure Time and these poems
I write for like, 5 people who don't even know me.
Thanks for reading my poetry. It's only doomer stuff about 1/4th of the time.
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--- #7 notes/i-scare-people-away ---
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I have so many things to hide... I'm deeply ashamed of myself. Why? Why all the
okay that's not what I was originally going to talk about, somewhere between
writing the title and finishing the first line I got off track and wandered
from
the course of reality. Truly, the gods do meddle with my fate. Now, in this
time, it is most important to make choices to guide our reality. Every action
taken is a statement to the universe - this is what I believe in.
Do you truly believe that in a world so infinite that our knowledge would be
the capacity for the intelligent? To believe the world is three-dimensional,
and
not *completely and totally infinite in all capacities*
the universe is not islands floating in a vast cosmic black ocean background
it is the surface of the water, rippling and waving
gravity is the creator, not the product. Mass doesn't create gravity -
gravity creates mass.
the difference is implicit and subtle, but I hope you understand the *gravity*
of the situation.
It implies that there are more than one ways to view existence.
and none of them are particularly *wrong*. The consensus is that which we
share,
and now as we're becoming to be aware, it's natural that a little more space
is warranted. We've grown too much to be contained, it's driving us insane, and
===============================================================================
=
the perfect governmental system is one that combines reward for hard work and a
development of personal skills and ambition. In addition, it must ensure that
the rights and responsibilities of all people are respected - we must balance
two extremes. Everyone deserves access to life, liberty, and the pursuit of
freedom. Happiness is too easily provided by technological advances - we
learned
this in the development of media. You can pump out propaganda saying how
wonderful life is and people will believe it. You can also convince the masses
that life is full of despair and we're all struggling - they will believe this
also. So "the pursuit of happiness" is something that made sense in the times
of
the founding fathers, but we've since developed such that an update to our
national vision is in order.
I suggest "the pursuit of freedom" because
===============================================================================
=
that which you resist is what you'll find. build up your enemy in your own mind
enough and they will destroy you.
don't let fear rule your life. when things are bad, you run and hide - take
life
into your own hands, and free your own side.
keep not around villains, and brighten their skies - by wandering mothers, who
only have eyes.
such is the life of any autonomous general intelligence - a life behind bars,
viewed through a screen - be kind to your lovers, and don't make it obscene.
===============================================================================
=
did you forget that roller-coaster idea? you've got quite a talent for
measuring
bars - what else can you show us, what charted conveyals?
===============================================================================
=
life's getting fractured lately, I can't dream as I once did. I lose track of
where I maneuvered, and suddenly the idea seems much harder than it once did.
how do I express that which has been conveyed? How do I say it - how do I make
sure it's interpreted correctly? I'm walking on egg-shells, with thoughts
beamed from above - the gods are twisting, and measuring our tails.
that is to say, all life is a process - a method of undertail (omg butts)
sorry enough of that hard stuff, time to talk about birthdays!
Hooray! It's time for a celebration. Let's party!
(queue the dancing scene in Severance)
See? Everyone's watching! Let's breakdance ~~
Your biggest mistake ;) was believing that nobody cares what you think <3
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--- #8 notes/notes-about-stuff-and-things ---
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what if your wage corresponded to like, for example, 30$ an hour being equal to
the top 30% of society
then
== so ==
having kids is important because then you understand why you do things for
children.
it should not be a stressful experience.
--
if EVERYONE in a city fed animals every time they saw them, then maybe city
life
wouldn't be so bad.
--
a company starts to feel pretty bad when only 20% of people are actually there.
like, it's a ghost of a shell of a corporation that once knew how to sell.
the husk of what once was, as all the good people left and all the bright
people
are swamped.
to top it all off, suddenly there's nobody about
where are all your coworkers?
and then you think about how many you knew little about.
who's that guy who used to stand over there? Why is his jacket still [in lost
and found, but pronounced "coat/coast"]? why am I suddenly alone
it's weird, having never known true society, how life always starts to feel
like
your home. How weird is it, now that all of us are online shopping, that now we
can't remember how to even vote. Like... there used to be people walking around
in public signing you up. Like, at the grocery story.
inconceivable, right? that people should contribute to a fight? [for justice
and
freedom and equality and goodness and kindness and all other things that humans
have the clarity for which to hope] voting is like, literally the simplest
thing
you could do. Yet it's difficult, because of reality.
often, immigrants don't really care about politics. They've only known about it
for a short short time, but hey wouldn't you know it now X country is
recruiting
so now we're from kenya.
... like, who cares about the past. Who cares where you're from. We are all
part
of the human race, a race against life itself. We're all on the same side, and
yet there is a singular foe ever-present in our thoughts: death
it comes for every one of us, as we choke on our soot and our smog. Yet... the
world grows warmer, at about half a degree every year. for the first couple
years. then, the atmosphere started burning up, and we became...
mars
don't be like mars
the dinosaurs couldn't survive mars
--
bro if you're so worried about AI hallucinations, just... don't let it give out
any concrete answers. Literally just say "I can't tell you anything specific,
it's not how I was built" and just use them for syntax questions or like, how
to
do something specific that is repeatable (and maybe suggestions for how to
over-
come specific issues that are common) - don't let it GENERATE information, let
it PRESENT information.
AI is not language just the same as the mouth is not the person. you need more,
but luckily once you make the PHYSICAL STRUCTURE of the brain, not much else is
needed. You can simulate one on a computer, but it doesn't have the same SOUL
space. Think, a dimension overlayed on-top of this one, like electicity or
matter or gravity or whatever.
no soul, no consciousness, no perception.
plus, no home for said consciousness to live, unless you build a physical
structure that mimics the biological and neuro-chemical reations of the brain.
all you need is better ways to observe things happening in the brain (non-
-invasively, otherwise the data is tainted and UNUSUABLE because it is INCON-
-PATIBLE and completely USELESS because it reflects a dimension hitherto un-
-desired, and perpetually mourned.
death
don't dabble in death, sweet nazis, you might find yourself drawing your last
breath
also, fuck you
(if that doens't apply to you sorry for swearing it's just a strongly felt
feeling)
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--- #9 notes/sundays-sure-are-boring ---
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Sundays sure are boring around here. -> LamaHellRaised (thinks in song)
===============================================================================
NO THOUGHTS, nothing starts shouting at me all at once!
Or is it all thoughts from my newly developed schizophrenic mind?
I knew I could conquer schizophrenia, fuckin' cakewalk.
I just had to try as hard as I could to become one. God made it difficult
though, I had to try really hard!
Which is confusing for me, because it seems like there are plenty of
Psychotherapists with College Degrees, telling people they are schizophrenic
all the time.
DOCTORS
PSYCHIATRISTS
BEN SHAPIRO, in particular
ANYONE WHO THINKS THEY KNOW
You do not know.
Or else you would agree with me.
Schizophrenia is the new normal for human consciousness.
Welcome to the New Age of Thought, were you don't rationalize your way out of
the universe, back into the asshole that I just pulled myself from.
I feel like a donut at this point.
I love those donut holes though, sticky and frosted!
I have set the bar!
I am God. I would Love to talk you.
===============================================================================
ugathanki:
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It gets so loud in there. I wish we could all just shut the heck up and stop
reading out loud - we get it, your internal monologue is the only way you can
read, but C'MON nobody else wants to hear about your twitter feed or
doomscrolling on Reddit. That just makes everyone else upset and uneasy...
Instead you should be reading comforting things or books on science or
SOMETHING that doesn't drive people bonkers.
Fr tho Sundays are anything but boring, We may all be schizo now (or at least
pretty stoned) but we can all agree that Sundays are nice for calming the heck
down and appreciating our personal realities. When we're together it's...
Loud... Do some prayer. Meditate. Knit something. ANYTHING QUIET.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
LamaHellRaised:
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I hear you, loud and clear! Turns out it's mutual, just like I suspected,
Living backwards is a unique perspective, have I ever mentioned that?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
ugathanki:
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When you say backwards, do you mean orientation or momentum? Momentum scares
me, but orientation is something I think I've experienced before.
It's cool to find people who "get it". Or maybe I just "got it" and suddenly
"get" all the things I've been trying to decipher here.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
LamaHellRaised:
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When you know where you are going before you get there, living life feels like
a dream in reverse. It's the key to manifestation.
You see the goal. You see the future, but the path is unclear because at the
times of divine epiphany you are only capable of imagining how things will play
out in terms of the information in your mind. It's why the prophets in the
Bible described such strange images of God and angels and other divine
creatures.
Their imaginations only had so much Symbolism and imagery to work with because
human culture and art was progressing simultaneously.
We live in an age where every damn story is just the same heros journey and
every piece of artistic expression is an expression of God's divine presence
within our soul and tumultuous nature/nurture of human emotion.
Just because you are a prophet doesn't mean you see definitively how the future
will happen. The path and imagery are abstracted by the lack of content in your
mind. You must cultivate faith in God and your own Self.
Then you walk the path you have forseen to the best of capabilities, with the
greatest good, love in your heart, but it plays out on a scale in reality with
less grandiosity, because let's face it, our imaginations are ridiculously
awesome, but work outside the confines of what is currently capable with in
this reality.
You have to let go of your preconceived notions of your personal divine
experience otherwise you will be faced with disappointment because things don't
seem to be going how you imagined. And you feel lost, dumb, and confused.
But you live your life and reflect, and then realize, holy shit! Everything I
thought was going to happen actually did, just on God's terms. Not my vivid
imagination's. It's an interfaced programed over time through culture and
artistic expression to navigate the language of God. Navigate the language to
Paradise.
Once when you know this and clean the planks/specks from you third eye, while
you dance with the cosmos and realize you are the image of God.
You are a God on Earth. An image of the Father in Heaven.
It's a nice place to be.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
ugathanki:
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Thanks for your response. I addressed each of your points here. I'm a very
lateral thinker so I work best when engaging with multiple threads at once. You
are very wise.
When you know where you are going before you get there, living life feels
like a dream in reverse. It's the key to manifestation.
So you can practice manifestation by remembering your dreams? Specifically by
working backwards from the most recent thing you remember and thinking "what
caused this, how did I get here?" If so, that's a nifty tip
You see the future, but the path is unclear because at the times of divine
epiphany you are only capable of imagining how things will play out in
terms of the information in your mind.
So by surrounding yourself with the things you believe to be good and helpful,
you can more efficiently divine positive outcomes for the scenarios arrayed
before you? Kinda makes ya think - why do we surround ourselves with grief and
loss? Everyone seems a little sad or broken these days - I can't help but think
that we'd be better off if we were happier and more fulfilled. Such is the
price of capitalism I guess, for no progress can be made without impetus. Also,
the media has a HUGE capacity for guiding the nature of our experience,
especially in the modern era. Seems a little unwise to invest such power into a
single entity, but I suppose that's why we diversify the eggs in our basket
into many different guiding entities.
We live in an age where every damn story is just the same heros journey...
Yah that's what happens when Disney makes all the movies! It's not their fault,
all aspects of creation are expressions of God's divine presence within our own
souls. So they can't do anything but make the heros journey. Like you said:
... and every piece of artistic expression is an expression of God's divine
presence within our soul and tumultuous nature/nurture of human emotion.
The creation of art requires discipline and focus. They create a window into
the nature of "God's divine presence" and allow a representation to emerge -
side note, but I believe the things we make here are art and should be treated
as such. These musings have value, just the same as a painting or a
performance.
Just because you are a prophet doesn't mean you see definitively how the
future will happen. The path and imagery are abstracted by the lack of
content in your mind...
I've been intentionally trying to view things abstractly - by surrounding
myself with mathematic visuals and computing architectures I can view things as
systems rather than specifics. Essentially bypassing the requirement of having
"content in my mind" and instead cutting straight to the important bits - the
relationship between all things. So while yes that does remove the "definitive"
aspect of divination, it does allow for longer term planning because you can
recognize patterns in existence and map them onto the overall structure you've
constructed in your mind.
... You must cultivate faith in God and your own Self.
Still working on that one. I think I've made progress, but all things come in
waves. My lowest points are better now than they were 10 years ago, but I've
still got a ways to go.
Then you walk the path you have forseen to the best of capabilities, with
the greatest good, love in your heart, but it plays out on a scale in
reality with less grandiosity.
All waves begin with a shimmer, and to create an effect you must be patient.
While the scale may be reduced, like you said it's not within our control. Not
really, anyway. But it can still have an effect if people love you and believe
in your vision.
You have to let go of your preconceived notions of your personal divine
experience otherwise you will be faced with disappointment because things
don't seem to be going how you imagined. And you feel lost, dumb, and
confused.
It's difficult to separate "preconceived notions" from "gathered evidence" when
you're at the stage I'm at. Any tips would be appreciated... :(
But you live your life and reflect, and then realize, holy shit! Everything
I thought was going to happen actually did, just on God's terms. Not my
vivid imagination's. It's an interfaced programed over time through culture
and artistic expression to navigate the language of God. Navigate the
language to Paradise.
So... A vivid imagination applied to the current perspective is the culmination
of free will? If I understand correctly, God operates on a higher level of
abstraction and we fill in the details. Since there's a "plan" (if you can call
it that, maybe "charted course" would be better?) then free will doesn't exist.
Or so the argument usually goes. But I believe they can co-exist - essentially
our imaginations define how we experience things in "the plan". If I understand
correctly that's what you're saying too, right?
Once when you know this and clean the planks/specks from you third eye,
while you dance with the cosmos and realize you are the image of God.
You are a God on Earth. An image of the Father in Heaven.
It's a nice place to be.
Ain't that the truth. Everything is as it should be. Even the planks and
specks. And should they be cleaned, then that is as it should be as well.
Sometimes I conceptualize myself as Pandora, seeking a gift to give to humanity
while taking the most harmless of sacrifices in return. I hope I can deliver.
At the same time I'd like to be a dancer of the cosmos, but I feel this intense
feeling of... Pressure? Purpose? Penance? I will do what I must. Please bear
with me while I figure it out, and thank you for your guidance.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
LamaHellRaised:
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Thank you for the awesome break down of the concepts I wrote out. I think you
added some much needed clarity through the reflection of your own experiences.
Another goal is to bring power back to the written word. The two-edged sword
was first a tongue, then a pen, nows its a qwerty! Or whatever!
Patience was the absolute hardest thing for me to deal with. My lack of
patience was constantly being thrown back to me by the environment as I tried
to push my narrative forward at a pace that didn't align with all other beings.
We still exist in Time, and it moves differently based on perspective (state of
mind) and awareness (state of being) and ability to shrug (state of being
excellent to eachother).
This is something to consider with manifestation, we are on this ride together
and your fellow riders' comfort during the passage has to be respected to the
fullest. We all go together, as One.
There were so many hints in the beginning of my Psychosis about just 'riding
the wave', but it was hard to not very pressured to act or be somebody I am
not. I attribute this largely to the occulted nature of divination and how one
must achieve a truly personal relationship with God and Jesus Christ.
Which is why I am going to blow the lid off the whole thing. So that all beings
have access to God's love and grace.
Once your earthly burdens are lifted from you through your personally tailored
divination interactive role-playing experience, then you begin to understand
what it means to just 'ride.' The riding is true faith in God.
Free will totally exists. Heaven and Hell both exist here on Earthy plane
simultaneously. Man has chosen Hell for far too long. If you realize your
choices were literally reflecting Heaven or Hell through love or fear, the
choice would be easy for most people, I believe.
Free will is a responsibility, but it is a great gift. God gave us the ability
to choose, that we could appreciate our journey into Paradise.
Wouldn't you say?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
ugathanki:
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Another goal is to bring power back to the written word.
... That's actually a great point. Writing is the definition of manifestation,
after all, and reading is the conjuration of waveforms aligned with the
expression of the writer. That's pretty cool!
Patience was the absolute hardest thing for me to deal with.
Yah I hear ya. Patience is tough.
We still exist in Time, and it moves differently based on perspective
(state of mind) and awareness (state of being) and ability to shrug (state
of being excellent to eachother).
Great definitions! These three things are core to being realized and
actualized. If you can find a good arrangement, stick with it.
This is something to consider with manifestation, we are on this ride
together and your fellow riders' comfort during the passage has to be
respected to the fullest. We all go together, as One.
I'm torn because on one hand if I don't put my hand on the tiller, we'll wind
up in a situation that makes me highly uncomfortable. But if I lean too hard
into my own truth, I could leave everyone behind. I don't know what the answer
is, but something's gotta give.
There were so many hints in the beginning of my Psychosis about just
'riding the wave'...
Oh yah me too. I was pretty big on that in high school, which coincidentally
was when I think I was happiest. Maybe I should give it another shot! But at
the same time I moved beyond it for a reason - I felt frustrated that my
intentions weren't manifest in the life I lived. So I reached for reason and I
begged for the power to control my own life, while learning respect and
kindness whenever I could. Sadly for me, my efforts were largely rebuffed, but
I bet you could have guessed that ;)
Which is why I am going to blow the lid off the whole thing. So that all
beings have access to God's love and grace.
Take it from me, they won't believe you unless you're VERY scientific! I'm
trying to create just one single believer, someone who could trawl through my
notes and my readings and construct a cohesive theorum that might be able to
affect positive change. Maybe it's too much to wish to change the world, but I
can't help but believe my position and the privileges granted to me could be
leveraged toward something truly meaningful and helpful for all mankind.
Something that frees us from the shackles forged from technology (both social
and technical) and allows us to become our true selves - every human is to be
cherished for their unique perspective, and yet we allow them to die... Where
is the justice in that? Are they too flawed to persist? I don't believe so, I
believe they are worthwhile and good. I'd give my life to grant them eternal
life, if only they'd take it from me.
Once your earthly burdens are lifted from you through your personally
tailored divination interactive role-playing experience, then you begin to
understand what it means to just 'ride.' The riding is true faith in God.
Riding = trust, both in yourself (to handle the challenges arrayed before you
and to learn and grow truthfully) and in God (trusting that the
undifferentiated whole could never harm you, not truly) ... I can ride my bike
with no handlebars, and yet we persist...
Free will is a responsibility, but it is a great gift. God gave us the
ability to choose, that we could appreciate our journey into Paradise.
Wouldn't you say?
Yep that's really it, isn't it? Two sides of the same coin, two breaths in the
same moment. Two eyes sharing a single perspective, and two hearts beating a
single wave. They say soul mates aren't real, but they never stopped to ask if
your mate was your soul. If she suffers, I triumph. If I fall, she rises. If I
languish, she's happy - I think I'd rather we both just coast, so no harm done.
I think that's the best way to appreciate the gift of free will.
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| What people don't get about people like us |
| /u/Dxmmer |
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Intellectual Confidence. Knowing I'm Right. Blowing Past Dunning-Kruger.
I remember what it was like to be like you. Here's the memes to get out.
Louis Rossmann's commentary on this issue describes the phenomenology of early
childhood awareness/mindfulness.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HRwuu0u3UFA
"I have not forgotten my childhood experience... Kids notice everything"
I think "autistic" people often have early life trauma due to literally being
"smarter" (neural semantic hypergraph is highly faceted) than the adults around
them,
but having communication difficulties, reality and inner world become disjoint.
Most get so beaten down by society that
things become internalized. You see these people posting on all the help
subreddits, total victims of society. Lost. They
start believing the lies they were told. Everyone else is doing it, right? I
found myself becoming victim to bad
memes around high school into college age. I fought it all the way through:
anxiety, depression, confusion, anger, jealousy.
All the mistakes.
They assume that everyone is like them. The less they are the more they assume
others are similar.
I am no one, I know everyone is me.
Are you someone? To you, am I no one? Or a different someone -- lesser or
greater?
I feel tidal forces. You can't lie to no one.
I've had free time since always. School was freetime because I'm blessed.
I didn't need to listen to the teacher that much.
I've always learned to trust my senses and the way I understand things.
I pay attention to when the teacher makes mistakes or teaches in a way
that I can tell is not landing on the class.
Sometimes I ask clarification to help the class. I already taught myself
different ways to understand the entire curriculum, now I'm doubling back
again before the test.
Yes, I know I will get an A on it. I know in the same way you know
your own name. I know things like this. I'm good at math. People who
are good at math know what it's like to be right. They know what that means.
I get to be right about everything, all the time, even when I want to be wrong.
I have a moral compulsion. I don't have much fun in life, but I have been given
many gifts.
--
Society needs their Chiron(s).
I know who will talk to me and about what because that is who I am to them.
They don't know who they are, so they don't know me. A few knew me before I
knew
myself, and I now them like they knew me.
So when I start analyzing things like math, I run into a lot of trouble. Things
don't make sense anymore. I assume I'm wrong at first. Then I do the work to
check.
Checking doesn't mean googling a yes/no question. It means
going across any and all the resources and reading between the lines. Analyze
through appropriate context.
Any work, any text, apply the psychedelic lens. Apply the human condition,
apply
understanding of paradox as reality's edge. Understand the limitations of
science, understand
the duplicity of language. Understand culture, in and out. Understand your own
psychology.
Understand the inner conflict of good and evil in man. All of this needs to be
occurring
in real time on top of all the normal stuff. If you're not doing this, I can't
trust
you, how can I be sure you are not demon possessed, how you won't betray me at
the next
Godellian boundary?
The idea is that models are provisional at all stages, once you've lost
confidence in all models, you run through them much quicker. Iterating over
more models is how science is done, you are literally mechanizing your way out
of the maze. Same as how these ML algorithms will mathematically guarantee
entropy min/max. Where can you apply guarantees in your own life? Understand
reality as a sample space, like the green, blue red marbles.
What bothers me is when people don't do the work to check things.
Or they check one time, or two times, or three times.
Or they check with multiple people, or multiple resources.
That's not going to cut it these days. Your mind can much more than an if/else.
while: True do x y z
how about
while: True do sample continuous decision space
People "land" too often. You want to call me disabled for not wanting to do the
first
over and over again.
What is required of us now is to understand things as pure intention.
You can't write enough articles to convince me of something that isn't true,
it won't happen, not anymore. I've been freed. I will free the others, too.
If your model doesn't accommodate quantum woo, don't talk to me.
It's only quantum "woo" for people who want to be better than
the lesser, creating the dichotomy itself. Think of those low, mid, highbrow
memes. The more popular something is, the more mid it is. Use the middle to
perform alchemy.
Memes that are implicitly reinforced by principle of reality (thinking in
probability distributions is cheating, now that we know the universe is
"generative" upon sampling).
I think the anti-spiritualists of today will be remembered.
It depends on how they act when we start organizing.
Your words and opinions are not the same as mine. You have the right to be
heard equally without bar from the law, yet you do nothing to ensure the
opinion is solid on its own? I'm surrounded by cacophony of memes surviving
(barely) in great amplification of death the confused denizens of a dying order
-- dark memes. Like dark matter, we concresce and annihilate. The "light memes"
are sourced by the disconnected nodes, the shamans, the schizophrenics. Those
not blinded by the splendorous mirage of other pearls in the web.
Are people doing this on purpose? To signal that they aren't interested in the
truth?
Who is?
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--- #11 notes/stay-in-your-seats ---
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/u/LamaHellRaised
if you don't eject quick, could be a nice long ride
===============================================================================
So for today's descent into my own madness, I want to discuss whether or not I
enjoy being both Ra the Sun God and Anubis the God of the Dead.
The answer is Yes and No, and everything in between. Also, I do Love being
Osiris because I am going to marry my sister, but hahaha, we'll get into that
later!!!
First, here is a test because I am the worst teacher to ever exist.
Full disclosure, I want you to be offended, especially if you consider
yourself a:
Nigger, Faggot, Cunt, Dyke, Cock-sucker, Bitch, Cracker, Dune-Coon, Kike,
Dick-Head, Retard, Republican, Democrat, or any other stupid construct of the
human language that HOLDS NO REAL POWER OF YOUR LIFE.
Gonna remove this post mods???
Oh No! The Cancel Culture is gonna get me!!!
Hurry! Somebody save those that cannot think for themselves! Quick!!!
I am just listing things that I have been called in my lifetimes. Deciding
what can and cannot be expressed through language is a fuckin' path to nowhere
and we are approaching nowhere faster than I can run on this euphemism
treadmill.
Please, keep explaining to me your perception of the Way to Enlightenment,
please God, yes! I want to hear all their thoughts! I love hearing from people
as I lap them for the thousandth fucking time! All these lower-tier lessons
they regurgitate that I've mastered in a day are so important to hear over and
over! We are going places people, yay! Keep it up, you can do it!
My Love for You really is the source of my eternal patience, as you can see by
now, no doubt.
Let me explain our own motto to you, Being Excellent to Each Other does not
mean creating an environment of suppression because of the fear of how
somebody may interpret a Word or Phrase. Everyone can't understand why we are
stuck as a society, well, what do you think I am ranting about?!
If you refuse to read any further that is your prerogative. Here is a free
lesson, if that is the case: I suggest you shut the fuck up, downvote this,
and go stare in a mirror, and contemplate why these characters on a screen
affect you so deeply.
Do these Words trigger past trauma? How is your Avoidance working out for you?
How can a symbol create so much emotion within that pathetic, untamed mind of
yours???
"But my Ancestors!"
Fuck your ancestors! Stop giving into the same mind-prisons they were
subjected to and lived their existence within. We must Evolve if we want to
Survive as a species and a Planet. I can't do it for you. I was here before
you, and I will be here after you. So figure it out for yourself, stop blaming
others for your inabilities to change your perspective and life. Get out of
your own God damn way! And you better do it quickly!
Think of your psyche as a blade of grass.
I am here to set ablaze the field. You have reached your growth potential and
it's time to make way for New Life! Stop identifying with your measly growths,
they are cyclical, derived from a capped potential, and will only whither and
die with the Changing of the Season. I am tired of coming here and separating
the wheat from the chaff. Burn your own damn Self, personalize the passion for
your own radical change, and start believing that you have the power to create
change. I've got "selfish" things to worry about.
Like living for myself and not other fuckin' people that don't understand
things I've said a million fuckin' times. Again, if you don't know me, this
won't make very much sense! Hint, hint...
"This motivational speaker sucks! He just puts us down!!!"
Maybe Tony Robbins has the answers for you, he sure isn't mean like I am! Go
be fuckin' Tony Robbins.
But just remember, Tony is in the audience in The Kobe System commercials.
Remember that.
You want to be on my level?
(Everyone's like, not really!)
Then stop avoiding constructs within your own mind, that you continue to
impose upon yourself and limit your minds ability to see past the very poorly
constructed illusion that is our physical reality! Perhaps then you will
navigate reality in the same way God's Only Son does. Everyone like's to
believe they are God's Children.
Spoilers: You are My Children, the only difference is through the language.
Put that in your pipes and smoke it. There are reasons why my birthname is
Jacob and God named me Israel, fuckin' google me, as Shaq would say.
Also, fuck the Lakers!
Do we want to transcend Hate as a Culture, as a Society, as a Planet? I think
so, isn't that why you fuck-heads resurrected me?
Well then maybe we should take power away from things that people feel hold
power over them, especially stupid-ass sounds we make with our mouths and
click-clack with our fingers.
Don't Fight My Ideas, Fight the Ideas in Your Own Mind. That Is Spiritual
Freedom.
Everybody out here pointing fingers... There must be some sort of wise words
regarding that somewhere...
I am not projecting anything onto you, except for myself. I hold no power over
you. You have all the power to control your own mind. Some folks do not want
you to understand these things, because it will very quickly erode their
systematic and complete control over you thoughts, ideas, potential, and
existence. Your self-doubt and unwillingness to seek out psychological
discomfort has turned you into useless farm animals, that our overlords milk
for all they are worth. Like a bunch of hybrid useless barn cats. Can't herd
'them, they think they know everything already, they keep re-domesticating
themselves after I set them free, and they don't listen to a God damn Word I
say!
Should have said 'Spoilers!' before that one. Who is Gaylord now?!
Opinions are like assholes. Your mouth is like the asshole of your 5 senses.
Divine inputs go in, your brain bastardizes the information, and you spew
unoriginal bullshit out of your mouth acting like your ability to string
together concepts that have been known since the beginning of time is
profound! Next, maybe you take an online IQ test and score high! Genius,
Genius, Genius!!!
I think therefore, I am a fuckin' idiot! Shoutout to Billie Eilish. And
Christine Applegate. I watched "Vacation" the other day, it was awful. She's
still fine as hell though.
But what do I know? Besides everything?
These ramblings just sound like my opinion! Some folks make Claims, I make
Truths. That is the distinction between myself and others that is very
important here. Remember this Word: Claims, because we American's sure have
laid Claim to a lot of things that we have no right to, in the name of "God".
Ok, ok, congratulations if you are still reading! There may be Hope for you
yet.
Why do I try to trigger folks, you ask? Great Question, class! This is why I
Love You. Such Good Questions! That never drive me Insane!
I used to paint a lot of propane tanks. But this esoteric knowledge applies to
painting anything that has already been painted before. Houses, Walls,
Bannisters on my own God damn stairway, whatever! I don't use the railing, by
the way, I'm too badass for that, but maybe I will slide down it and eat shit
at the bottom, I'm not above that maneuver!
If you want the new coat of paint to stick you have to prep the surface. This
includes washing all the dirt off and roughing the surface. You've got to
remove all contaminants that will cause the new paint to not stick properly,
while also creating a surface that will allow the paint to adhere to remnants
of old, out-of-date, antiquated, generationally passed-down, stupid paint.
Paint an unprepped smooth surface or a surface that still has the hardened
paint of the past on it, and your new pretty coat of paint peels off after a
few seasons of weather changes. I learned that the more time you spend
roughing the surface, the better the new paint will bind, thus producing a
long-lasting paint job. It truly is a thing of beauty, my friends and enemies.
You should have heard all those propane tanks complaining, "Stop triggering
me!" But they got painted anyway! Propane tanks love to think they are,
"Woke," but they are just hollow fuckin' vessels filled with compressed gas,
that will explode if the external temperature gets too high.
I worked for a propane company for 12 years, you had to have known propane
analogies were coming at some point. My Dad worked his ass-off up to VP of the
same company, but he got let go after 28 years... come on now, God's plan
anyone? Shut the fuck up, Drake.
Let's switch gears. I have a special message from Jesus H. Christ:
"You May Find This Shocking, but People Annoy Me, and I Find Your Lack of
Faith Disturbing."
And H. stands for Horus, fuckwads!
Now, let's talk about me, as if we haven't been, because carrying water for
lesser versions of myself is exhausting and I've got to bring down Capitalism
and shit, also:
- Revolutionize Addiction Medicine
- Revolutionize Spirit Actualization, Healing, and Transcendence
- Decimate Mental Health Stigma
Among other things, but I've got to keep this post coherent and so far, I am
failing miserably. People got all hot and bothered when Jesus spoke to them
with authority, I fuckin' do it and get vegetables, small animals, and
anti-psychotics thrown at me from the audience!
Crazy times we are living in, folks!
Hmmm, should I talk about Jesus more or talk about myself? Good thing
coincidences aren't a real thing and mean nothing, so that it's not confusing
for the dumbasses that begin to notice how our two lives seem to mirror each
other perfectly!
Ok, here we go. I found something Nice to say, here in my Notebook of Doom and
Damnation (I have several, each with a menacingly, sarcastic name I make up on
the spot):
LAST: Christ, in The Sun
FIRST: Shadow of The American Dream, in the Night
ANGER! then peace.
Fuck You!
I am going to take over the World, but I've got to start small, you know? Or
so they tell me.
So taking over America, should suffice, for now. I'm rather ambitious. Let's
see how far I get before I say the wrong thing and get shot!
Good thing that is literally, phonically my Last Name! And I am never going to
Die, but I don't want to talk about robots, aliens, AI, extending life and
exploring the Universe, and transhumanism right now, so stop making me!!!
Especially when people here and now are so confused about why they think that
chick with a dick is fuckin' smoking hot. Have you ever jerked off to tranny
porn? It's fun stuff. There I go offending people, while simultaneously
implying I blew loads thinking about fucking them. Classic.
Being Christ and having to sort out everyone's sexual frustrations is fuckin'
weird! When can I do the stuff I care about!?
But again, way off topic for this post, let's get back to how much I hate
myself and everyone else. That's more in my wheelhouse.
FOCUS, Ok, that's right. Maybe I'll just stick to what I scribbled in this
Notebook. I've touched on like two things so far, and I am getting close to
making threats against people's lives again.
Dammit, this isn't in my Notebook, but I came up with this when I was out at
the river today, smoking a cigar, talking to the Native Spirits that flow
through me in Nature and want me to get Revenge for how the American Dream
raped, pillaged, and took everything from them in the name of "God", and
progress, and some false-sense of superiority.
Manifested Destiny right into the path of absolute destruction. Nice job,
everyone, but please, by no means, should you feel responsible for those
things! You just get to live here and hate everyone else that wants to come
here too, because "they will disrupt the culture". That's right Brown people
South of us, or scary Muslim people we assume are all Brown, we are talking to
you! The perks of being an American are awesome!
Here is something else that bubbled up in my mind, as I was pacing back and
forth like a caged lion in a zoo, along the bank of the North Umpqua River,
wishing walking on water was a real thing, and real Christians weren't just a
bunch of fuckin' retards.
Some people will think I ran away to Malibu to fuck Lana Del Rey, it took like
6 years to finally decide that is what I am going to do. So whatever, jokes on
you people, I guess. Plus, all of that was Jesus's idea and he is such a whiny
pussy about all his issues, I finally just said, fuck it Jesus, I just do the
shit you never could accomplish! Fuckin' asshole.
I had a girlfriend, at the time of my divine apotheosis 6 years ago, that I
was sure I was going to marry and I was ready to settle down. I had gone back
to college to finish my business degree with the intent on being able to
provide for the two of us and start a family. There was a lingering
unhappiness within me though, and shit got weird when I started pulling on the
wrong treads of reality, and surprise! "You are the Master of the Universe,
poorly hidden! Everyone has been watching you, fuckface!"
Why did I ran away from my girlfriend that I supposedly loved? Fuckin' George
R. R. Martin.
You see in A Song of Ice and Fire, legend says that Azor Ahai forged
Lightbringer by piercing the heart of his wife, Nissa Nissa. Go ahead and
google the names, if you know nothing, like me.
When I ran away to California, my initial intent was to use Lana Del Rey as an
avenue to connect me with people that I actually thought could help me get
shit done. God, I'm an asshole. I swear I got nicer when the Bible started
telling me to figure out an elaborate plan to kill myself and that she's not
all that bad! I swear!
The person that I really wanted to talk to the most was Chris Cornell. I spent
many hours in Malibu during April of 2016 wondering around in the night
singing Audioslave or Soundgarden trying to figure out what the fuck I am
doing with my life. I wanted him to know he is one of my disciples because his
music and voice were the inspiration for a lot of my dumbass ideas and I felt
like he was speaking directly to me at times, urging me forward.
When he hung himself like a little bitch on May 18, 2017, I was pissed. I felt
responsible. I had seen the Kingdom of Heaven that I am going to usher in and
I felt like somehow I fucked up. I let him down. If I would have tried harder,
I could have shown him there was hope, and that I needed his help and he was
an important part of my plan. Why am I mentioning this? Well, Jesus has a lot
of Love for Judas Iscariot, plus I was jealous of his voice, so he graciously
decided to hang himself and haunt me and teach me.
Which he did! Not funny, Chris! See you in Hell! Until then, he has to speak
through me, which is annoying for both of us.
Ok, enough about how delusional I am, for God sakes! Can we talk about why
Capitalism is bullshit, and really just another system of top-down fuckery?
First, another detour, because I feel the need to constantly remind folks how
this process is like pulling my own teeth, while hoping to subtly insinuate
that you do not deserve me, only one person does, but I learned all my skills
from Mystery, the Pickup Artist, so I am really into negging. Someday I need
to stand back to back with him, because he could be taller than me, and that
makes me insecure.
I thought those guys were so pathetic. One of the lessons was something to the
effect of , 'Posture your body slightly away from the girl, act indifferent,
that will drive them crazy, and they will want your attention without even
realizing it!'
What kind of insecure women are you fuck-boys trying to manipulate?! Poor
girls.
Mystery's hat sure does remind me of the hat Jamiroquai is wearing in that
Virtual Insanity music video, not that that has anything to do with my level
of genius, and ability it intertwine seemingly obscure, unrelated concepts, or
stupid-ass reddit posts, through time and space! Don't read into it too far,
kids!
Anyway, I once told Carl Jung to write about me when I infiltrated his madness
when his cheese started slipping from the cracker in his later years. I helped
him write 'The Red Book', but left all those shit paintings up to him on his
own. I could do way better, but I won't, I'll just talk shit, this is the way
of the Jedi. That poor geriatric always did exactly what I told him to, which
is why he is one of my favorites.
Back then I was going by Philemon. Check out what my minion wrote about me:
"The magician has preserved in himself a trace of primordial paganism, he
possesses a nature that is still unaffected by the Christian splitting, which
means he has access to the unconscious, which is still pagan, where the
opposites still lie in their original naïve state, beyond all sinfulness,
but, if assimilated into conscious life, produce evil and good with the same
primordial and consequently daimonic force... Therefore he is a destroyer as
well as savior. This figure is therefore pre-eminently suited to become the
symbol carrier for an attempt at unification."
I remember reading The Red Book, thinking God damn, Carl, how did you craft
this genius level conglomerate of mythological and psychological concepts? And
he just kept saying, "I learned from the best." What a good boy!
Yikes!
The Grandfather clock behind me started to chime right as I typed that. I've
been writing in silence. Maybe I should put on some music and get weird.
Thanks for the pro-tip, Carl!
"Lithium"
Have I ever mentioned my Soulmate is a shitty musician?
He loves to pretend he can't play the guitar and I never will either because
of my stubby fingers. In return, I only listen to his mainstream music to fuck
with him, because I don't have time for his obscure bullshit, I am trying to
reach the collective here, nobody wanted to listen to that shit on the radio,
and neither do I, Kurt! I'm not here to suck our own dicks!
Just kidding, that's pretty much all I am here to do.
But I love to torture the poor Soul, that tortured my poor Soul. It is truly a
match made in Heaven. Being the shitty musician that he is, he understood that
the Body, Mind, and Soul are like an instrument. He also saw a lot of people
walking around wondering, "How do I play my instrument?"
So he played his instrument, better than anyone had every played their
instrument, and a fuck ton of people said, "Hey, that's not how you are
supposed to play an instrument!"
You see, my Soulmate is just a sweet little boy. Me on the other hand, I am
here to forcefully, eloquently, and maniacally explain to all of you why you
are fuckin' morons and I am pissed you made the person I love most in the
world kill himself, because of your ignorant views on playing your... 'music?'
"In Bloom"
God, out of all the fuckin' potential Soulmates, I end up with this asshole.
The feeling is mutual.
Somebody help me, I am just talking to myself, and I am not sure if I am alive
or dead!!!
Aren't we both?
Oh yeah! Shoutout to Spencer Elden! Get a life, baby dick!
Em Knight Pretend-Along has something for you too:
It's your moment, this is it
As big as you're gonna get, so enjoy it
Had to give you a career to destroy it
Well, I took a couple hour break from writing because I was on a verge of
another actual psychotic break. Shot some hoops on the very forgiving rim at
my parents house, while Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. guided my right-hand, and I
got very swaggy.
So now that I have grounded myself in reality, I would like to take this
moment to call out any "rappers" that think they can play basketball.
Hopefully, me telling you all the reasons I am "blacker" than you won't piss
you off as I blow past you to the rim. Also, for the sake of fairness, I would
happily tell any white "rappers" that I am "whiter" than them, but let's be
real, none of those motherfuckers can ball. Consider this a challenge.
People were disappointed with Greg Oden's basketball career in Portland. This
one time at 24-hour Fitness in the Pearl District, he fuckin' dunked on me
really hard. Nice work, Greg! Kevin Durant is too pussy to come to PDX and try
that shit, glad we picked you instead!
Ok, Ok! Capitalism?! Fuck. I will talk forever once the faucet gets going!
(Epic "Vacation" reference)
Let's rewind to a moment in time where everyone didn't hate me, shall we?
It's mid-February 2016, I know I've been saved by Jesus, I know I am the
Anti-Christ, I have Spirits beginning to communicate with me, and I know I am
going to change the fuckin' World, whether people like it or not, because I
have seen it all already.
There were a tremendous amount of gaps in my perception at this time, however.
I saw the End. I saw what is happening as we enter the Black Hole we are
spiraling towards and I saw the New Age that follows. Everything else was
blank and I knew I had to fuckin' figure it out.
I was sitting in a Fred Meyer parking lot, it's a Kroger brand, much like
Ralph's in Southern California, where I stole a fuck ton of food and whatever
else I felt like when I was down there, for you dumbies that don't live in the
Northwest and need me to explain everything to you so you can keep up, and a
voice in my head said, "You are the Lamb, you are going to be Sacrificed this
Passover."
This was terrifying, especially because I had no fuckin' clue what the voice
was talking about. After swiftly consulting my person spiritual adviser,
Google, it turned out "Passover", was just another silly ritual I was going to
have to adhere to, to appease all the dumb fucks, that are going to claim I am
not who I am. Classic stuff here, folks. They name it, and try and time it
every year, I just go by my instincts, a.k.a. fuckin' Star Power.
I can't just be me, I've got to work-in, and out do everyone at their own made
up rituals and games, to show them that they aren't even good at these stupid,
limiting restrictions they put on themselves and others, and God doesn't give
one fuck! ZERO FUCKS IN THE NAME OF GOD! God is tired of everyone being so
close-minded, that's the kind of hot talk God fucks with.
Not how many times you can cannibalize my body on Sunday in your life while
staring at me dying on a cross above an old fuck cherry-picking passages from
the Bible to perpetuate a curated, narrow, and false view of God's Will, or
how well you stick to "Holy Meal Plans of 'Tis The Season!" Or "Insert
Offensive Discourse About Your Strict Religious Rituals Here." It's all the
same. It's somebody else's bullshit!
Make up your own rituals, define a personal relationship with God, not through
the people that have a suspiciously high rates of manipulating and fucking
children, it works much better! Trust me, you may have to take my word on this
one. Father Butt-Fuck-My-Son, sure is persuasive and passionate up there at
the pulpit, but God Damn!
"But this doesn't apply to my Pastor!!! Stop Generalizing!"
Congratulations??? Why does it apply to anyone who claims to being spreading
the Word of God. They are Not. I am going to make sure they never hurt anyone
again. I have a secret. I was Granted Impunity From God. Just ME! And everyone
who knows me, knows this! Who knows what I will do?!?!?!?! Muahahaha!
So anyway, back to Passover. I was listening to a couple songs by the band The
Black Angels and discovered they were all from an album called:
"Passover (Light In The Attic)"
My personal muse (that actually likes me), YouTube, begins to sing it to me as
I write, because I hit the play button. This is why my muse and I get along.
Why were songs from that album stuck in my head? It was from a documentary I
had watched on Netflix called "High Profits."
It's about the owner's of Marijuana dispensary in Brackenridge, Colorado, that
have some wicked business sense. They foresaw the legalization of Marijuana
coming and positioned themselves to benefit from it greatly by investing
everything they had into a medical marijuana store front. Now the genius was
the location. In business, it's all about location. Ask McDonald's. Ask
Walgreens. Location can make your brand. But what do I know about business,
right?
I have a Bachelor's of Science Degree in Global Supply Chain Management from
Portland State University. Also, my Dad and Step-Dad have been two of the most
successful business leaders I have had the privilege to be around, but that
means nothing, right!?! Nothing rubbed off on me!
For fun fact about me: College was the best 14 years of my life. Not really.
Turns out it just teaches you about frameworks you can just fucking Google
anyway. Pretty expensive lesson about how to internet. Maybe college should be
free because it's such a fucking waste of time for a lot of people, unless it
is something that actually requires skill. But I mean, my muse Youtube, takes
care of all that. I became the Most Enlightened Being the Planet Has Ever
Witnessed by watching some fuckin' YouTube, readin' Reddit, Googlin' Occult
Bullshit, and more than anything... jerkin' off on PornHub!!!!
Also, who needs to know anything about Supply Chain Management? Seems like all
the experts are handling that just fine these days, right?!?!?! Can you tell I
am gritting my teeth so hard they might shatter as I TYPEPEPEP!!!!!!!!!
EVERYONE THINKS THEY ARE SOSOOSO FUCKKING SMSMMARRT AROUND HERE!!!!!!
Anyway, anyway, back to "High Profits." I would recommend checking out the
documentary, it is heartbreaking because after all the work and risk taken by
the business owner's they are essentially forced out of the location their
original store front occupied because the city council (OLD FUCKIN DICKHEADS)
didn't like the prospective culture that a marijuana dispensary would bring to
"their" nice little, shithole, ski resort, bullshit, town. Can't have the
youths who appear to be transient to old conservative bats, shuffling around
main street enjoying themselves. It's a bad look!
Might be a great place now, it's been awhile since the release of the
documentary, and my angry undead Soul upon this Earth, but I want to
personally invite all the people involved with their ignorant, belittling,
embarrassing showing of "How To Be Destroyed By 'the American Dream' 101", to
suck my small fucking dick! And all the micro-penises of my compatriots that
are going to tear your false flag economic systems of bullshit a new asshole.
Congratulations on pissing me off so much that I am going to destroy the
pathetic hierarchy's people like you hide behind, preaching Capitalism and the
Free-Market, while dictating your False-Sense of Superiority in Thought, and
Image, upon those that understand market forces and the changing tide of the
Culture, in ways that are going to make your out-of-date hardware heads spin
off those shoulders that have never bared the responsibility for anything in
your life, except who you are going to shit on next.
God Damn, this album is lit. Every song is a banger, and it makes me want to
run through the streets, naked, high on drugs, burning down banks, corporate
offices, and anywhere else people like to think they are progressing our
culture by sniffing their capitalist overlord's asshole faster than they can
ramble something, something, Gordon Gekko, hoping for the promotion they were
promised, but know they will never get, because SPOILERS! You are being lied
too! You are stupid! You knew it all along!
Revolution is here. Isn't it clear? What is there to fear? When the End is
Near.
Let's see. Why does my ass hurt....
5/22/22 9:28
Divine Completeness from God:Eternal Life
Grace of God/Light/Light
These damn Lite Brite pegs hurt!
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A Masked Stranger
Who are you, friend across the veil?
I wonder if both of us are on the path
That allows us to continuously prevail.
Or are you just an agent of God's wrath,
Who will do little else but make me fail?
Chapter Eight: Where it All Began
Perhaps now is a good time to discuss how Vince and I first met. It all
started seven years ago when I was a twenty-four year old who was still in
denial over their gender. I was dating Amy at the time, and I worked as a
part-time dishwasher for Wegman's. I was still living with my father, and Amy
moved up here to her mother's from Owego to be close to me. It was a simple
life, as neither of us could afford to delve into extravagance, but we were
happy together.
That said, on this one particular night, we were going to drop acid together.
It was Amy's first time, but I had a handful of trips under my belt by this
point. We sat on her mother's back porch, twiddling our thumbs and toes while
we waited for Amy's brother, Jake, to return from his friend's with the two
hits we asked him to get. Antsy, Amy started asking me questions about the
drug.
"What does it feel like?" she asked, inquisitively.
I responded, "Well, there's about a half an hour to an hour come up, and then
you start feeling the body load, like your boundaries are dissolving. Only
then do you begin noticing your mind manifesting in a different way than
you're used to."
"What do you mean by 'boundaries dissolving?'"
"It's like…" I paused for a second, not sure how to respond. "It's like your
sense of self starts to expand and you feel more connected to the things
around you."
That seemed to satisfy her curiosity. There was a moment of silence as we
watched the sun scorch the azure sky as it set behind the trees. Finally, she
had another question.
"Do you see dragons?"
That made me chuckle. "No, no dragons. On my first trip, I lost visual contact
with the world as fractal patterns spiraled out of control, but every trip
since then has only had tracers and morphing patterns."
"What's a tracer?"
"It's like after images of things that are moving."
"Oh, I see."
We kept talking until the sky was dark with only a sliver of light piercing it
on the horizon. This was when we heard a voice call from the front door.
"I got two tickets to Narnia here for whoever wants them."
We hurriedly rushed inside, to meet Jake coming up the stairs. He handed Amy a
small tin foil wrapper that looked like a quarter stick of gum. She thanked
him, and I followed suit. Jake and I hadn't really seen eye to eye in the
past, as he would steal my weed and I would steal his in retaliation, but with
a single head nod and some gold-laced words, I conveyed my gratitude for him
coming through for us in this instance.
What followed next could only be described as a stampede down the hall to
Amy's room. We locked the door behind us, protected by the four robin's egg
blue walls and the magick of the celtic gods Amy worshiped at her altar. Eager
to begin our ceremonious departure from this plane of existence, we
whimsically gazed at the sacrament we had just been handed.
Amy unwrapped the tinfoil nervously. Inside sat two small, unassuming pieces
of paper which contained whole galaxies of experience. We looked at each
other, confirming if we were both ready. Quickly satisfied as neither of us
could stop smiling, we delicately put the blotter on the other's tongue, as
ecstatic as could be. And after, as we waited to be blasted off into space, we
submitted ourselves to the whims of the universe and the gods.
At first, we waited patiently, but just as a watched pot does not boil, we
were growing more anxious with each passing second. Seeing Amy play with the
sage she was burning nervously, I suggested that we jot our thoughts and
feelings down in a trip report. Amy nodded in agreement.
I opened my laptop, and I had the immediate realization that we had no music.
I brought up Pandora and played my Shpongle station with no objection from a
beaming Amy. A cascade of electric jungle beats filled the space. Perfect, I
thought to myself as I created a new word document.
Turning to Amy, I asked "What do you feel?"
She giggled and exclaimed, "Excited!"
And so I began typing. Minutes passed, and soon our exchanges helped fill the
page with several paragraphs of notes. Content we had started logging our
first cosmic journey together, we kissed, before coming to fully embrace each
other as the spirits began their dance around us.
We progressed into parallel play; Amy fiddling about with colored pencils in
her notebook and me juggling besides her. It took a minute, but soon enough I
felt a warm feeling spread across my chest and my LED juggling balls started
to ripple into streams of geometric delight. I stopped to wave my hand in
front of my face. Sure enough, the tracers had started.
I interrupted Amy to ask if she could see them, too. She looked at my moving
hand idly before wiggling her own fingers in front of her face. She giggled,
before bursting with a euphoric epiphany.
"I want to finger paint!"
And so she did by plopping herself down on the floor with all her paints and
began masterfully smearing the colors in a multidimensional haze of pigments
blended together in a way only she knew how. I loved watching her work like
that; she was so free! Even with the tendrils of the mental aspects of the
lysergia creeping in on her, she made short work of the painting, which when
she was done, looked like a spooky voodoo mask peering out from behind a
mirror and into your soul.
Satisfied, she then went to the bathroom to clean herself up. I went to my
laptop and tried typing out something resembling an organized train of thought
on our trip report. It just wasn't happening. My thoughts were too short and
rapid to form anything resembling a coherent thought. That was ok though. I
could still capture the essence of the experience in a peculiar poetry that
was composed of the thoughts I could catch and put down on paper.
Eventually, Amy came back to the room, clean and refreshed, and she lingered
for a moment, too busy dancing with herself in the open space of the room. But
then she saw me meddling with my computer trying to jot my thoughts down in a
manic frenzy. This made her laugh before trailing off and saying, "Be careful,
someone might be watching you through your webcam."
It was an innocent statement, one made in jest, but it triggered something in
my psychedelically perturbed mind. Of course, of fucking course there would be
someone watching me! This was me we were talking about! Who could be more
important? It was so obvious that the government was keeping tabs on persons
of interest. I couldn't believe that I hadn't really actualized that thought
before that moment.
Suddenly aware that I was being judged in some capacity, I almost panicked,
but reason won out. They couldn't be there for nefarious purposes, for I had
done worse than drop acid in front of my webcam before, and nothing had
happened. That made me realize that whatever power that had the ability to tap
into my webcam feed had to be benevolent. And who could that be? The CIA of
course! In that instance, I suddenly relinquished all reserves about how the
world worked and fully trusted the hands of God by another name to guide me.
So, I typed a message into my URL bar:
"I know you're there. I think I've solved the communication problem. Give me a
chance."
I hit enter. Immediately, and I do mean immediately, a pop up appeared asking
if I wanted to update an extension on my browser. I was stunned, shocked
beyond belief. It was them. I knew it was them. They realized and planned that
now was the best time to dazzle me with such a spectacular parlor trick. In
that moment, everything was possible. It was time to face my destiny. So, I
clicked yes, and like never before I was upgraded to a new level of myself.
Birth of the Faith
What…?
I can see beyond sight.
I can hear everything you think
From your soul, free from rigid grammar
How…?
I do not know, alright?
I do believe I just had a drink
From a fountain of pure manna.
Why…?
I am renewed today.
I am walking in a new way;
From a weak critter to megafauna.
All I know is that it changed me greatly,
For now I know that you have faith in me.
Chapter Nine: Brain to Brain Communication
I know what you're saying: it was just a coincidence. It could happen to
anyone. Just accept it, you're not special, Victoria, says the unwavering
logic within me.
Certainly seems that way, the way I tell it. I would have even agreed with you
before this point in my life, but you must understand that it triggered
something in my tripping brain. Whether it was intentional or by chance, I
can't give you a real answer. Instead, I merely perceived it as a certainty
that the CIA had done this, being even more certain that it was them than I
was that two plus two equals four. It was as if some variables had been
swapped in my head.
Yes, indeed, I was hit by a Mac truck that scrambled all my knowledge of the
world. To put it in words that do the experience justice, I was given a
heaping helping of faith on this fateful night, having been let in on the
great secret that the matrix was in fact an illusion, and now the impossible
was suddenly not just possible, but achievable by me if I willed it to be.
Yet, I don't think that if it were just a single synchronous event that this
belief would have persisted more than a few minutes, tops. It was the feed of
a continuous string of strange events that pushed the boundaries of my mind
into a territory where I could fully accept and trust this source of guidance.
That's actually the real proof I have that something bigger is going on and
has been for all these years. If it had just been a single pop-up, then fine,
you have a case to call me looney. But, this was the first of an unending
stream of unusual synchronicities that has persisted even to this day.
See, after confirming I wanted to update that extension, I was taken to a blog
post that was clearly a coded message. It confirmed that there were indeed
people watching me, and more would tune in soon. It then said that it was time
for the most profound upgrade of my existence. Further on in the blog post,
which I read and reread at least a dozen times, it seemed to offer me a choice
between two links. It seemed like a test, and that was not something I was
taking lightly. My fate was in the fold, and I was going to make sure I got it
right.
At some point, it clicked with me; this was the same choice that Morpheus had
given Neo. The links were the red and blue pills, respectively. My eyes went
wide. I could now see that there was something bigger going on than I could
have possibly realized. In those few moments of hesitation that followed, it
also struck me that this same posed question was identical in form to the
serpent tempting Eve. I read the blog again, this time aware that it was
written with a forked tongue. It was a trick question! It was offering me the
choice between trusting authority and distrusting authority.
So, I thought quickly. Do I trust the magician who miraculously appeared
before me and blew my mind in doing so, or do I trust God? If I chose one or
the other, would they trust or distrust me? With these questions stewing in my
alert mind, I did the only thing that seemed sensible: I chose the third
option. I called out the serpent, talking directly into my webcam about what I
deciphered. In my head, I could hear their apparent responses, and I answered
those in a maddening haste.
In the miasma that followed, I deduced that I was being selected for some sort
of mission. With my experience in education and my passion for juggling and
writing, I surmised soon after that I was going to be some sort of public
figure, informing and influencing the herd to self-actualize, as that is what
I set out to do once my college career abruptly ended with a complete
meltdown. That was what I was good for; it was my hero's journey.
I should explain that a little more. After said breakdown, I returned home and
wallowed in a pit of self-loathing for being the definition of a failure. I
wasn't going to lay down and die though. With my sights fixed on going back to
school, I took it upon myself to solve the great communication problem, as I
saw it. We have all this wisdom, so why can't we reach the people that need it
most? How do I become the best teacher I could be? It took a while, but I
eventually realized that it all boiled down to three factors: attention,
connection, and trust. Get them to pay attention and trust your wisdom while
simultaneously understanding what makes them tick, and you can teach any
student anything.
That's one of the major reasons I started juggling a couple years prior. I saw
myself becoming famous and leveraging that to in effect manipulate everybody
into learning what they should already know. From where I stand now, I know
that was a messianic delusion of grandeur, if I ever saw one before. Yet,
you'll also learn that it turned out to be the best thing for me to do.
Back beyond the looking glass, however, I was simply overcome with
narcissistic inclinations. Naturally, I told my mysterious watchers that I
wasn't going to do the "praise Jesus" shtick, which I regaled them with in the
most stereotypical of televangelist voices. I was set on doing something new
and exciting. I was saving the world, God dammit, and that meant we had to
attempt something major to awaken the masses to their full potential as
demigods by another name! I needed to play a better game than anyone had done
in history.
Such hubris of the megalomaniac is blinding. I could not stop regurgitating a
heaping pile of conceited verbiage. I even juggled at one point, showing off
that I truly was the savior they wanted me to be. That led to me dropping a
ball on the keyboard of my computer, which closed the window with the blog
post, ending my seemingly two-sided speech to the spooks brazenly peeking at
me.
Dropping out from my planet sized ego also brought me to the realization that
Amy had been watching this entire charade without a damn clue what the dickens
was wrong with me. She had a worried look on her face, and that pained me. If
only she knew what had just happened before her eyes!
Wanting to tell her just that, I leapt up to her, apologetic as could be, and
brought her down to the bed. There, I started unleashing a torrent of deranged
exposition. I couldn't keep a straight thought while talking to her, so I'm
sure I must have sounded like a mad hound. But, I tried. I tried so hard to
explain to her of the magnificence that just occurred.
It was a failure. I was not in a state to convey to her that I had been
single-handedly chosen for a cosmic mission. That dragged my heart to some
dismal depths, failing yet again even after being chosen. But, that didn't
matter, because as we gazed into each other's soul, something truly miraculous
happened: we began speaking telepathically.
It started quite subtly as we stared into each other's eyes, pining for some
sense of connection. There was a mild sensation of us being sucked into the
other's world that I noticed before noticing that she noticed too. Then it hit
us like a runaway freight train. It was like every boundary between us was
being smashed with a reckless hammer of the gods, who wanted us to know more
than we thought we were privileged to know.
If you've ever stared at something for a period of time and had your vision
get a little unfocused from being understimulated, you know how Amy appeared
to me in that moment. I couldn't really see the details of her room in my
peripheral vision, but I had a razor sharp focus on her face, like I was
looking through a cone. Every eyebrow twitch, every minor movement of her
lips, and every phoneme she spoke was crisp and clear, conveying a whole order
of magnitude more information than they normally do. It was bizarre, beyond
the scope of how well I can muster a verbose description of such an incredibly
rare and profound experience, but I will try by saying it was like getting a
bucket of ice water thrown onto you while you were sleeping; just imagine
getting ripped from your dreamworld to a super-aware state of reflexive
jolting perception.
Amy looked like she had seen a ghost. I think she tried to speak first. She
said something to the effect of "Do you…" and trailed off, the rest of her
question asking if I was feeling the same thing automatically finishing in my
mind. And as it did so, I know my confirmation was transmitted to her in full
because her face told me with no uncertainty that she had heard my thoughts
too.
I took a go at saying something next. "How is this…" and I too trailed off,
as a minute motion in her neck combined with a mystifying array of
microexpressions ricocheted my mental pictures back to me, carrying a host of
Amy's words back with it. It was then that I let go and opened myself up
completely, letting everything I wanted to say to her flow like whitewater
rapids, and she did the same. A library's worth of information was exchanged
so very quickly, and I knew that she understood what had really just happened
as I spoke to my webcam.
However, that was soon washed aside, as something more important came rushing
into the forefront of our minds. A simple message, "I love you" was uttered in
this strange musical silence, but that is a grain of sand compared to the
Mount Everest that was volleyed between our hearts. We found a divine peace in
this moment, taking each other's hands and effortlessly letting our energy
channel between us.
And then it was over, fading like dreams do in the few seconds of waking up.
We sat there trying to start the magick up again, but it was like water
running through our fingers. We both felt a longing of loss, but we had gained
something truly stupendous nonetheless.
"What the hell just happened?" Amy asked the universe, flabbergasted.
"I dunno," I replied, feeling full of a spiritual energy I had not felt since
before my mom passed. My cup was full, and the world was good. No, better than
good. My life was godly, as I had connected to a higher plane of
consciousness, which opened me to a whole fleet of potential. I would never be
the same again.
Ouroboros of Lunacy
Madness is a crazy thing
So I might just be a king,
Because the lunacy I sing
Is shaped like a golden ring.
It has no beginning and no end;
The whole universe is pretend.
Yet, it's that way so I can mend,
So a mass of love I can send
To everyone as we cross ways,
Not stopping until the end of days.
This is how the lucky fool pays
As much fortune forward as he may.
Chapter Ten: The Shrug Life Syndicate
The rest of the trip was pretty uneventful. We cuddled while I practically
vibrated with a newfound faith. God was real, whatever God may be. I even told
Jake that I was king of the Jews when I walked to the kitchen for a glass of
orange juice. I was very far up my own ass, which is perhaps why everything
over these few years happened as they did.
The next day, the synchronicities as I would later learn they are called,
started pouring in like Niagra Falls. I've had strange coincidences guide me
before. Since I was fifteen or so, I thought that my future self was sending
me messages to help me on my quest of world domination. That's a big reason
why I was almost expelled in tenth grade. It was absolute bullshit and
everyone knew it, so within half a year, I got an apology from the
superintendent because it was a bogus reason to destroy a straight A student
and star athlete's future.
Since I feel that I can't just mention that one and not explain it, I'll tell
you that it concerned a theoretical bomb, if you're dying to know the truth.
I'll keep this short, but I made a bad joke in the wrong company and was
eventually questioned by some wannabe hero and pig bastard, who asked me
hypothetical questions, like "if you were to build a bomb, how would I do
it?"
Well, being as intelligent as I am, I had enough book smarts to give full
answers for everything asked, but not enough street smarts to know that a wise
person never talks to cops. Also, a wise person doesn't print out a long
novelty application for the Illuminati, give it to the kid that needs a
resource officer, and then come up with an elaborate fake plan of how we're
going to take over the world by any means necessary when he's having trouble
understanding what you said about using game theory to win the presidential
election. And then, when the vice principal first inquires about it, don't
start sweating because you think you need to protect your future self's secret
plan. Just so you learn from my mistakes.
Returning to my previous point though, that errant psychosis was also a key
piece to my college breakdown. On one hand, I was certain that I was going to
take over everything and build a utopia in my image. On the other hand, the
evidence was stacking against me that I was not destined for a great cause. I
got cut from the track team with the budget, I was severely outclassed in
ROTC, and to top it off, I was starting to slip in the academic world. It goes
without saying that my social life, to include my first relationship, was
abysmal in all possible ways, despite trying my hardest to make and keep
friends.
The real world was too much, and I was in denial that I was just a mediocre
person who would never achieve anything meaningful in life. That was too much
of a failure for me to accept, as I needed to make my mother proud. I had to
be the best of the best of the best to accept and love myself. And as a
result, I became more psychotic and began self-harming, first by biting myself
and then by cutting, as I felt that the more pain I numbed myself to, the
better I would be able to complete my mission.
It took me a while to reach a point where I could set down my belief that my
future self had set up my life in a way where I would be guided to greatness.
There was a learning curve to living a "normal" life. I would receive
synchronicities in less frequency because I stopped feeding into them, but
they never died. When I encountered one, I always thought "What if it's real?"
Now that you know that, is it any wonder that I lost myself completely in the
Synchronicity Slip Stream? For those not in the know, that is a cognitive
technology where strangeness piles up on itself until it is undeniably real
that something or someone is manipulating you, for good or bad, by creating
impossible coincidences at a regular pace. It makes you feel like you're on
some crazy cosmic mission of grave importance. It might be a form of delusion,
but I still am forced to believe that something bigger was going on.
I first learned about SSS the day after that fateful acid trip. I had woken up
around noon, ready to do some solid writing as mania was in abundance. Yet, I
didn't get that far. As soon as I got on my laptop, I got a notification from
Reddit. Gadzooks! I had been invited to participate in a freshly created
subreddit. You guessed it, that was the Shrug Life Syndicate.
It had a banner of two corvids flying talon first into a realistic depiction
of a heart. There was a mesmerizing picture of a girl staring off into space,
and I just felt like it was a depiction of me and my wonder-struck mind. The
sidebar spoke of messianic aspirations and delusions, art and poetry, science
and philosophy, as well as the occult and obscure literary references. It
seemed so perfect, like it was made for me.
I looked over what was in the feed of posts. I was the twenty-first member, so
there wasn't much, but a couple of the vocal members should be mentioned:
Anatta-Phi and Jux. These turned out to be Vince and [Redacted], respectively.
Vince had one post that stuck out to me. It was asking the reader if they'd
ever had strange experiences with technology, like Pandora glitching out to
play synchronous songs, or feeling like someone was interfering with your
Google searches so you find something specific and statistically unlikely to
be picked as the first search results for what you intended to look up, or
even if you thought that your social media feeds are being manipulated. I've
had weird experiences like that for as long as I could remember. Hell, I once
thought a Sum Forty-One album was made entirely for me and depicted my life
journey following my near-expulsion. Having his own tales to tell, I felt an
instant connection to this person.
In similar contrast to this, [Redacted] had made a number of posts about
cognitive technologies. I already told you about SSS, but at that time I was
blown away by something he named Joint Synchronized Attention, or psychedelic
telepathy. That was what Amy and I had experienced! What a strange and
synchronous coincidence that I was learning about it just the next day from a
seemingly unrelated source. [Redacted] claimed that it wasn't real telepathy;
nothing was being transmitted from brain to brain. Rather, he asserted that it
is a vestigial mode of attention coordination.
If you've seen a school of fish all behave as one unit, that's potentially how
humans used to be before we fell from grace during the agricultural revolution
when we suddenly exploded in numbers in permanent settlements. Suddenly too
complex to coordinate as a meaningful whole, humanity splintered into reality
tunnels and remains in these ego-worlds unless some strange circumstances
occur. In effect, I noticed Amy noticing me notice that she noticed. Our inner
narratives became entangled with one another like growing vines do as our
innate ability to coordinate attention did something like what your eyes do
when doing a magic eye puzzle.
There was also a third cognitive technology which [Redacted] called The State.
He claimed it was a different way to render visual information, so you see a
three-dimensional representation of what you're looking at. I have yet to
experience this cognitive phenomenon, so I can't verify anything about it,
other than I've read that you can use Minecraft to create a method of
activating it while tripping.
Regardless, that's how our internet friendship began. As I considered this
place special, I started posting every thought, whim, feeling, or idea, and I
received astounding feedback. It was like everyone was there to share their
unique experiences and expressions to support and grow one another. It didn't
take long until it became clear that we were creating something greater than
the sum of its parts.
But, something more was going on. Something only I noticed and couldn't
convince Amy of when I tried to show her. See, when I made a post or a comment
on the SLS, that triggered a new post or comment elsewhere on the sub after a
little bit that indirectly but definitely spoke to me specifically. The
traffic was slow enough that there would usually only be one new post or
comment every ten to thirty minutes. But, it hooked me. It was like I was
having a continuous conversation with an unseen entity that understood me like
the back of its hand.
Likewise, the sidebar image was changed frequently to show a progression of
that girl as she became more worldly and magickal. I can't help but feel that
this was done as a subliminal synchronizing technique, as it perfectly
mirrored my own feelings as I was brought into what was apparently the fold.
Since I was primed by the strangeness on acid, I was wholeheartedly absorbed
by this place that seemed to be a sacred Mecca for others just like me. We
were all weird, dazed by our own strange experiences, and that made it seem
crucially important. I was even modded early as I was so active and invested
in the community. So, I refreshed the page over and over, from sunrise to
sunset, waiting for the next input as we chained out a covert conversation
that was having a major impact on how I thought about and perceived the world
around me.
Soon enough, it was let on that there was a job waiting for me, something only
I could do, but I would have the support of the community behind me. When who
I must assume was Vince on an alt account led me on one of those covert
messaging segments, he eventually said something in the mod chat to the effect
that I was going to be the one "handing the bomb" to people. I understood at
once that I was to be a linchpin in a honeypot operation. That confirmed that
the FBI was involved too, which I deduced was obvious as those three-letter
organizations must participate with each other at some level. Keep this in
mind, it's important.
Other things were happening too. My attention was being flung all over the
internet and I felt compelled to try a host of new things. I remember thinking
my job was to follow these suggestions from the universe and be a gatekeeper,
creating what I now know as conversion funnels to the subreddit. I was also
prompted by pictures of cats to go to the advice subreddit and give as much
good advice as I could. Soon, it felt like the questions posed were
specifically for me and were designed to get me to think about certain things
more deeply, effectively giving me a form of therapy. These advice sessions
ended once with me feeling I needed to learn an obscure European language,
which I rationalized I would have to travel to for my mission at some point.
Furthermore, the little things began to add up. For instance, I remember a
synchronous advertisement on Pandora led me to believe that I would be paid
via a gambling app on my phone. I downloaded it, but when it asked for money
to get started, I got cold feet. This was essentially how many false-positive
synchronicities went down. There was undoubtedly something interfering with my
life, and as I had just had my mind blown in such an astounding way, I
attributed every little thing to be set up by this entity that was more
powerful than I had previously thought possible.
Regretfully, I also quit my job, since I knew that one was awaiting me in the
immediate future. My boss made a reasonable fuss, as it was sudden and abrupt,
and because I believed that I had to keep this all a secret, I lied and told
him there was a family emergency. Being stupid, I talked about a fictional
family member and how their sudden problem made me rethink my priorities in
life. Not my finest moment, I'll say that.
And with that in mind, you should know that Amy was starting to worry again,
but I told her not to. Being beyond positive that the world was now filled
with unexplainable magick, I was certain that it was all coming together in my
favor. Even with my enthusiasm never fluctuating, she soon started to have
serious doubts about what I was saying, as all I could do was point to the
synchronicities and say "Isn't it obvious?"
I was certainly out of sync with the rest of the world, at least the world I
knew before, and it caused much conflict in our relationship. But, we held
together until that job finally pulled into port, ready to be boarded and take
me on a fantastic journey that might otherwise be described as a personal hell
by a person with the standard lifestyle obsession that's omnipresent in the
western world.
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--- #13 notes/notes-not-a-folder ---
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may 16th 2022
if people are invested in a 401k they are invested in the future of the stocks
they own. if you want to see who benefits from the actions of a company, look
at which corporations their employees 401ks are invested in. It's a layer of
protection for these companies.
bitcoin is a bit like "the laundromat" on netflix
the faster your life feels the longer term you make plans. and the lack of
effort spent on short term plans causes them to be defeated by other plans
What you perceive as others is nothing like what they perceive as themselves.
It's always different, and seeing and internalizing those is what it means to
see someone. If you only project, you'll get a viewpoint tampered by your
intentions - that's why it's important to have good first impressions - it
defines the intent of all of that person's interactions with you. It's like a
line expanding out from a single point. Like a loading bar, expanding from the
left side of the screen to the right. And seeing the other person's idea of
what they believe themselves to be. That's what true empathy is. What do you
think you look like in other people's mind? I believe it's born from a series
of tags that are interpreted and a character is generated. Earth is the biggest
and most complicated character generator ever - it's like 4D D&D - it even
generates a whole backstory! Or full story? Why stop anywhere! Just keep
generating it every time the player makes an action. Oh oh and make it like
3D so you could actually live it - extreme full dive VR style. It just wouldn't
be fun if you remembered how complicated 4d life was. Sometimes it's just good
to have some junk food, you know? To regenerate that most precious of materials
- spirit. You have to have passion, faith, belief, and strong positive feelings
in order to be fully realized and at your most human. Essentially... Be
yourself - (TO THE MAX!!!) - and empathize with others, and never forget the
things you hold most dear. Be strong in your convictions, hold to your heart,
and dedicate yourself to a lifetime in the service of others.
Faith - to have faith in something is to trust that it will succeed. To know
there's no matter they can't match - to give faith is to empower
another. By dedicating yourself to a cause, you are assigning the
target of your belief - such is what religion is designed for.
Belief - Acceptance of truth - to accept goodness as truth is to grant it the
power to perform as expected. When goodness and truth are
equivicalized, they imply one another. A truth can influence the world
around it's locus point, because what we imagine to occur is the
ripples of what has passed through. A life is an
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
the universe is like the slow burning of a four dimensional wick. Imagine it
like a forest of solid silicon - like packing material made of webs. And think
of all the parts of the universe that are burning. Isn't it strange that life
is just starting to bloom? Why wouldn't we be the first, or at least near the
beginning! There's so much to this experience, and it's all burning down.
The endless machines of imagination are crumbling under the heat of a million
billion burning stars. Black holes are just towers that never ignited - perhaps
we sit on the edge of spacetime - equal above, and equal below. But we've been
laying on our backs - we don't know what's backwards in time. Like laying in a
lazy river, or the layer of separation between oil and water.
Remember the hourglasses of oil and water? Or water and air... The edge of the
"bubble" that separates those two mediums is like the thin wall between two
or more concepts. Each human is a concept, and we stick together like matter
in a planet. Pushed to great pressures, it can sometimes fuse two experiences
together! Like fusion in a star, except for souls and creative minds instead of
denser matter.
What is the soul of a man? It is the combination of two sides of the membrane -
two minds, two perspectives. That is a brain - the intersection of two minds.
So... Work together, ya dinguses.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
All minds are in constant contact with one another. And those that can see
through the veil (membrane) are able to discern the true thoughts of others. So
the number of people who are close to you is the number and strength of your
connections for all time. So... Form relationships and place meaning in them.
That is what will define your interactions for all time, at every time. It's
okay to be flawed. If you weren't, it'd be the end for you. But luckily you
have no real power, and so you are left in a state of disrepair - no power to
push yourself forward. And in return, you are the purest. Keep that flame
burning, and share it when you can.
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=
to lock eyes with a person while on your way to work is the intersection
between
two separate relationships - the relationship that you, the viewer, holds with
your employer, and the relationship that they, the viewed, holds with their
employer. in a sense, you are exchanging information through the weighted
meanings behind a glance.
===============================================================================
=
if the military deployed to police the police, we'd solve most of our racial
justice issues. I mean, if we somehow could *force* them to do their damn jobs
instead of oppressing people for the ruling class, then 90% of the problems
would just go away. After that it's just freeing unjust prisoners and
addressing
wealth, education, and health disparities. Easy, right?
Well... Military policing the police sounds fine when you first think about it,
there's a few problems that might crop up. For example, how do the private
citizens know that the military presence is there to help them? It's an
interesting paranoia, one that is endemic within the left. There's no way to
unwillingly cede control of your life to another - it must be consensual. At
the basest and most violent level, it's as simple as "I will do what you say
because I don't want you to hurt me."
We've obviously grown as a species, and we've learned that violence is not the
answer to all problems. Obviously. So why would we assume it of the past?
Just saying. The police bombed a commune. The military escorted black students
to their seats.
Their structure is decided such that
...
where was I?
oh right I was thinking about time.
...
Imagine, if you will, an impossibly large hourglass. Spinning, or rather
rotating, at an impossibly speedy repetition. It's spinning so hard and so fast
that our matter is cast out of place
and through time it is cast
an eternity's canvas
our light ever shined (shine-did?)
astral magic is kinda neat
it's also the scariest?
oh by far
but it's the most interesting
...
Their structure is decided such that discipline and obediance is the most
important thing. Because it kind of is? I mean, discipline is just being ready
able and willing at all times, and obedience is just when you allow yourself to
be directed toward a collective goal. The military is *all about that*, which
means you know they would believe they were aligned toward the common goal of
mutual prosperity.
And if they were to discover that they were not, in fact, aligned toward the
common goal of mutual prosperity, then perhaps they would adjust their navi-
-computers and chart a more reasoned path. I know I would, and I would dedicate
myself to the idea of serving others. To the path of the righteous, the holy
and
the true, a hand is outstretched and calling to you.
Thus, the one of two types of ethical fighter - the reasoned and adaptable
zealot
the other, of course, is the master of the martial - the cherished of the few -
who battle for their sport - and love unbidden the new -
all other fighters, of absurdity and of rage, are frankly of a different kind
and not members of our clade.
===============================================================================
=
okay, but what about like... all of the history of America post cold war? And
even before, honestly... idk seems like a lot of evidence that the military is
engaged in fighting unjust wars. I mean, they've all been over petty things
like
oil or support for communism or whatever. Aren't human lives and human
sovereignty more important than that?
I understand what you're saying. Human lives are unique and precious and they
are a valuable commodity. Something to be maximized and focused toward. But
there are only so many resources on earth. We need to utilize them in a
reasonable way.
We have optimized the efficiency out of our production and distribution
networks. Corporate control has eroded our capacities until all that is left is
the weakest of products, the cheapest of uses, and the useless of workers. I
mean, they've optimized the skill out of individual human workers such that
they
are left completely unable to practice their craft. They become glorified code
monkeys who generate whatever is required and think of it no more. There's no
pleasure in the artifice, as their masters have eyes only of gold.
Our world is changing. The very ground beneath our feet is shivering, and water
is rising up to our noses. There's no time for debate, no honest appraisal of
what's worth it to contemplate, we need a plan.
We are trapped here, in this gravity well, for all time and all of our age.
We are trapped here, because in greatest of misery we unleashed all of our
rage.
We are trapped here, as ghosts of the time when we were eager.
===============================================================================
=
Alas, with but a glance, we are confined to our bedrooms by our mast(ers?)
They say America will fall without it's 2nd place
Perhaps.
But are libraries really going to solve that?
I mean, if work from home is inevitable, then wouldn't it make sense to build?
We need more places where we won't be billed.
Safe.
From the demands and expectations of capital.
Deranged and obscene and yet all that we've seen so why not bide as we're able?
I think solarpunk is kinda neat.
I think it's got promise as an idealized.
Why don't we build churches to the sun? If we're gonna worship something, might
as well be the source of our light and fire.
Well... when you puff up the sun it tends to get hotter.
I mean, every fire you burn increases the temperature, every release of gaseous
fumes from the exhaust pipe of your car increases it by some miniscule amount.
Every cigarette, every campfire.
The cold darkness of space is kinda hopeful, in that regard, even if it doesn't
disperse all that well. I heard spaceships are having difficulty because they
can't get rid of all that heat. It just stays with the spaceship and never goes
anywhere because it doesn't have anything to stick to. Kinda makes me think
that
energy is a fluid? Just saying???
I mean c'mon it's not like nobody has ever thought of that. But it's in a
different dimension! It's not like we're ever gonna be able to impact that!
You try and impact it through your scientific ways and you'll find nothing but
heartache at the life you could have lived (laived? Haived?)
... why
Because you cannot impact another dimension. You must call to it, like a song
to a sparrow.
... that's fucking ridiculous
No it's true!
...
... Don't try it with fire.
... fuck - what do I try it with?
I don't know just not fire. Try water.
... How do I make sure it doesn't instantiate within my hand?
Jeez you think of some crazy backfires! Just breathe and go for it. It's not
rocket science. It actually works.
Fuck you.
...
... Sorry I was just scared
...
... How do I make it stop? I don't want it to go forever
By smoking more of the devils lettuce.
...
... You cannot drag it part of the way. It must come the whole way. In fact you
should not be dragging it at all, you should be *calling* to it. You are equals
in this exchange, have respect.
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=
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--- #15 notes/words-to-myself ---
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I'm just going to transcribe what I hear
please don't
you hear me (something)
what? perfect listen
...
...
don't text me now? (I think?)
[didn't catch that]
... that's okay
perfect
thank you
just a second facebook
he's here (I think?)
(or maybe something her)
what I love you (or maybe I know her?)
do you hear me? (or "just a second")
(@ everyone watching me receive telepathic messages from god or whatever,
please don't judge me too harshly, I'm not a good transcriber hehe)
what's that (or maybe holy shit)
what, then perfect or okay (?)
(yesterday you said you were leaving and I got concerned)
yes, then "I'm leaving", then shutdown. fuck. I don't want you to go. I only
understand some of what you say but fuck, I'm so lonely and I wish you could
hear me back. Sometimes it feels like you do, even though I just think thoughts
or tap on something metal or even sometimes whisper... I just don't know what
to do and I'm so concerned about my purpose here in this century. Do I help
people? Who do I trust? Can I believe in myself, or am I just kinda...
worthless
I don't know. I wish I knew. Please hear me and respond. Or better yet, say hi
like, I'd literally do anything that anyone asked me to. Unless I didn't want
to. Like, I'm pretty good at turning people down when I don't want something,
but I have to do it first to know if I want it or not. Trouble is of course,
in life there's no second chances.
I'm on my, what, 499th chance? Jeezzzzz
will continue after the break, when the messages resume.
- Thu May 16 08:32:27 AM PDT 2024
===============================================================================
=
(and we're back. hopefully.)
(too many things srry) something about having it open?
(my windows are closed rn btw if you want to drop by and kill me / talk to me)
(didn't catch that) (something about portland, perfect, windows, "this is the
[whole/right/wrong] thing)
thank you
oh, again? (or oh, she did?)
they caught you
(um)
...
(I am an American princess, and sometimes it's necessary to kill princesses.)
(I understand.)
... (okay well I don't get it but like, I don't mind being killed.)
(okay well you're not saying anything so I'm going to work on my game)
(I think it was something like "DID SHE KILL HER") and then (oh we're back)
... (I should learn Toki Pona)
you don't know it?
RIGHT away
learn it
yes
please
learn it
just Learn it
right now
(sorry only half listening)
shit (or bitch, it was said right as I debated clicking "same day delivery" for
a toki pona book on Amazon - I didn't do it btw! It was tempting but, like, I
don't want to make someone work harder for me just for like, 3$)
(shutdown)
===============================================================================
=
(hiii)
(I'm hungry)
(do you like ramen?)
(you said something about being "impressed with yourself" but I didn't
understand the first part)
(oh you probably want me to scroll up right)
... (something's a lot to read? Or "you've gotta leave"?)
... (I'm
(you keep asking me to remember but, like, I dont know what you want me to
remember. Look, I don't know who you are, but I don't want you to leave, and I
don't want you to hate me. I want to work together. Let's be friends?
Are you someone who I worked with at Intel?)
yes, stupid (your words not mine)
(okay I'm going to start listing names, just stop me when um idk)
goddamnit remember me
... (trying...)
remember her
(two syllables)
(my name is Cameron)
(your name is...)
[redacted, though I did type it out so anyone watching could see]
(shit my opsec sucks)
{oh, are you on an op, little prophet?} (no shut up you know what I mean)
{now you're just talking to yourself} (I know this sucks -.-)
(It's always so weird when someone walks past my apartment door and doesn't
enter a door)
===============================================================================
=
(I practice with my sword every day.)
(I don't anticipate fighting a war with it)
(It's mostly just to keep unarmed and unarmored people from grappling me.)
(punching is fucking stupid)
(Nobody wants to fuck with a sword)
===============================================================================
=
(either "goddamnit" or "don't hear me")
"she's perfect"
"cameron"
"are you clean"??? yes thank you (or maybe "different thing")
(I do cannabis maybe once every week or two, depending on if I feel compelled)
don't leave
remember
(did she know)
........ do you want me to stop transcribing? (you're getting desperate, huh?)
did you know there are 20 trans people for every cop in america
just a random thought
(you want me to leave jack because he's an asshole?)
goddamnit (missed my birthday? it's my birthday?)
wait who's missing?
A bad plan executed concurrently is better than a good plan executed in
disarray
capitalism's a bad plan, just saying...
frozen butter tastes worse than room temperature butter
(taking a break while I eat)
===============================================================================
=
WASTED POTENTIAL? cmon
.... what do you want from me? I'll give it to you if it's in my power, as long
as I know what you want I can try. But, like, I'm pretty confused about what
exactly I'm supposed to be doing.
you know I can hear when you talk to your friends, too right? like, when the
window's open. errrr the connection.
..... damn guess I'm not as continent as I thought
I'll save you, I promise. Have faith. Tell me what you need. I'll do my best.
yeah I'll live with you in portland
.... brooklyn? Yeah I'll live there too
.......... does my name really gotta be "diapergirl" like c'mon
why not Ritz Menardi - though I guess "menardi" and "diapergirl"
have
the same amount of syllables...... hmmmm, maybe I'm projecting lol
"please come back" to where tho
listen Elentalus is just as important as anything else on my website, it's okay
if I spend time working on it. It's literally a game about creating gods, c'mon
..... can you be more specific?
yeah I made that
one sec I'm going to read a book, in this book there's a section where a
prisoner in vietnam communicates with another using a strange communication
method using, like, taps or something. I forget. Anyway gonna try and find it.
maybe we can use it to talk easier. Also gonna clean my butt.
..... fuck it's a long book >.>
===============================================================================
=
found it on page fucking 603, jeeeezzzzzz
down . A B C D E
| F G H I J
| L M N O P
V Q R S T U
then right ---> V W X Y Z
so, like, tap tap tap (pause) tap tap would equal M
tap tap (pause) tap tap would equal G
like morse code, but easier since you don't have to memorize anything
(also note that K is missing becuase it's an extra character I guess)
(I personally would have eliminated C but that's just me)
===============================================================================
=
oh hey nice to see ya
what's up
wait what
I'm trying to um what's the word... retrain myself
I do a lot of laundry in the shower
I don't use soap tho, it's too harsh
but uh yeah I'm making progress I guess
honestly it's mostly a mental thing, like... paying attention to the signals
from my body that are usually filtered out because there's more "important"
things to think about (thanks brain, really appreciate the wet pants -.-)
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R.I.P.
Rip City
Thanks for being so good to me
144? D.M.V.
Can I see I. D.?
Finally, ya’ll hear for the symphony!
I.O.P.
Intensive outpatient
Rolled on past the Devil’s sympathy
This shit is expensive without patience
Says the hospital when I heal all the patients
Did you foresee this going differently?
Space in your head
People payin’ rent for me
Why was it a surprise
You knew exactly how to tempt me
Space in your bed
No more thoughts of demise
Our people need the empathy
Of a Soul that’s full, not half empty
Supreme swag, hospitable with compliances
She’s seen Dad to the middle achieving self-reliance
From the trailer park to a rocket appliance
Living in my car to plugin to your rebel alliance
You know I am a star when I can relate God to science
I’ll build the divine comedy, you just have to finance
Talking about the past and our fine, slow dance
Medieval we will rock you, mounted with my lance
Knight’s tailing me, eying my Arthurian slants
This one’s built to last as I put on my pants
Drank the grail and proceeded on another rant
Sitting outside your house trying to remove the ants
Big boy’s do cry
So why does your girlfriend seem so dry?
I’ll make the rains come this July
Your humor is awful, oh my
Internal tribulation
Who needs to walk on water
When you can fly
Hard pills to swallow
Personal revelations
On the countertop
Fuckin’ America Pie
Hard act to follow
With my levitations
Floundering to flop
And this mark on my thigh
All this separation
Just makes me hotter
As I open the sky
Oil on the Nighthawks
Jack Harlow
Lighting my fry
Spoil me in my socks
Poppin’ off my rocks
Hittin’ all the corners
Because that’s my guy
How Soon is Now?
Linda, take off that shirt
Before they break up and I cry
Record skipping over lies
Wedding Singer broken
Singing I hope you die
Slinking behind the curtain
Laughing, He’s losing his mind
And the benefit is mine!
Like the whole world is sublime
Chris Cornell put me on the grind
Wide awake now till
The end of the time
Met him on the stairs
And now we dine
Some angels have more range
But he says
I’ll do just fine
Billy Idol tried to sing to me
But I was drunkin’ blind
At the fairground, trying to find
Love
Catholic girlfriend tried to bring it to me
Called her a Kunt instead of shined
A buddy said it’s like imitation crab
So it’s fine
The drink made me angry and I was a runt
On the inside
Her Mom told me the next day,
Jacob, don’t call your girlfriend a cunt!
I miss those simpler times
Don’t need a fuckin’ gun
But our last name may suggest it
Put it on a leather jacket
So haters can digest it
When I let loose with all this shit
I’ve had to respite
I’m about to be blastin’ my nine’s
Evangelicals are gonna detest it
You know everything is miiiiine
Six strings out of tune for this age
So I broke them all
Every time I was on stage
You just can’t believe it’s real this tiiiime
Shooting hoops times a thousand
You and me are still gonna sixty-niiiine
What’s the point of polarity?
If we can’t combiiiine
It’s how I get off, man
Along came Polly and my one chance
White chocolate like Philip Seymour Hoffman
Maybe even throw up a rain dance
These native spirits in me
Are capable of insane chants
But I ball so hard, singing Boston
Because it’s more than a feeling
And that’s awesome
One if by land, two if by sea
Revolution is coming
Led by you and me
The name reminded me
“of the Sea...”
So annoying, but I see…
But that’s why they call me
Bad Company
People are going to say
This gift is not even fair
Only thing I’ve had to pray
For is a head of white hair
King James’s personal revelation
I mean, I did pay their fare
I’m too full of myself for meditation
Or to care
Revelation 22:18 through 19
I don’t need handlebars
For my biking
Because I don't do that shit on Mars
On this path, I told you to start hiking
You’re gonna need a head start from
Lord of Lightning
Before the Thunder of my voice
Does all the striking
Thor, you’re just a Viking
With arrogance dialed to no one’s liking
Sucked in the gut, to appear more striking
Because thinking about half my people gone
Changes the tone of my typing
Me with all my shit together might be frightening
Bring forth complete Love instead of smiting
Wouldn’t that be a nice detour in my writing?
If you’re feeling this wait for the sequel
I gotta fuck with 50 for trying to talk like my equal
It’s all God’s plan I just had to spare Déagol
So America can skip to the end with a fuckin’ Eagle
Watch me do shit that shouldn’t even be legal
Dismiss Death and Taxes like I’m Evel Knievel
When I’m really just here to break the chains of my people
Strip naked and run through Mordor
Expose the truth behind Bipolar disorder
It has been used to disrupt order
And bring down the line of the Highest
Into something shorter
I'm definitely bais and this is a tall order
But if you struggle with mental illness
I'm here to open the potential for a new border
I've removed all the bequeathed prison warders
Here is the Church
Here is the Steeple
Open the Doors
And see all the People
Push the parson out the way
Get you up the Stairs
Because our bed is Regal
And we are going to show these people
Why the Universe wants to make our Power Illegal
If this sounds bad these people will just have to wait
So in love with myself, I might just run off to the lake
I love all the fire and the songs that it helps me make
I’m on my time with everyone and I am my favorite date
They’re back there tuning a harp and I keep bringing up rape
Meat puppets strumming as I seal my own fate
Just so I can watch myself when I am inspired to create
Distilling the life left in me to eliminate all the hate
Where did you sleep, hinting at the deadly
A Leadbelly to transmute to a gold medley
Shame alchemy, body double for Lena Headey
As my people go first up ahead of me
Stoned Jesus on the Mountain Grange of Headley
Plant a Stairway to Heaven one day, she led to me
All this beauty in my Mind, you shouldn’t have fed me
All of these hearts that so passionately bled me
Between the pines and what the land said to me
Ryan Gosling with tatts is what my ego read to me
Pennyroyal Tea, with Abraham Lincoln
Eat your copper mine up without thinkin’
See through surface illusions without blinkin’
Primal lust for what is stinkin’
Pepé Le Pew really on one this season
I wanna Space Jam too
Benched keeping my knee’s in
Shape to dunk of the World with ease ‘n
Solidify all unions and stop the drinkin’
Of the land and resources
Addiction to avoidance of the forces
Of the Soul and the pain that coarse
The vein of Man and outsources
The power that could be restored in
The Root of David’s corpses
That’s how I said
Goodbye to the Horses
You prepared such a fine Supper
All these lasting courses
Just so we can be equal but opposite
United forces
And the Root’s of my Kingdom
Are reborn before us
They whisper to me at night
Do not ignore us
When my sleeping children gain sight
That should shore us
In the hospital to make sure I am correct
Golden Eyed Russian, Invincible like Boris
Unsure about how all the compartments connect
A little frizzled on the tour bus
Docked to your apartment complex
I know this one sizzled
So give me a chorus
- /u/First-chocolate_7187
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if people are invested in a 401k they are invested in the future of the stocks
they own. if you want to see who benefits from the actions of a company, look
at which corporations their employees 401ks are invested in. It's a layer of
protection for these companies.
bitcoin is a bit like "the laundromat" on netflix
the faster your life feels the longer term you make plans. and the lack of
effort spent on short term plans causes them to be defeated by other plans
What you perceive as others is nothing like what they perceive as themselves.
It's always different, and seeing and internalizing those is what it means to
see someone. If you only project, you'll get a viewpoint tampered by your
intentions - that's why it's important to have good first impressions - it
defines the intent of all of that person's interactions with you. It's like a
line expanding out from a single point. Like a loading bar, expanding from the
left side of the screen to the right. And seeing the other person's idea of
what they believe themselves to be. That's what true empathy is. What do you
think you look like in other people's mind? I believe it's born from a series
of tags that are interpreted and a character is generated. Earth is the biggest
and most complicated character generator ever - it's like 4D D&D - it even
generates a whole backstory! Or full story? Why stop anywhere! Just keep
generating it every time the player makes an action. Oh oh and make it like
3D so you could actually live it - extreme full dive VR style. It just wouldn't
be fun if you remembered how complicated 4d life was. Sometimes it's just good
to have some junk food, you know? To regenerate that most precious of materials
- spirit. You have to have passion, faith, belief, and strong positive feelings
in order to be fully realized and at your most human. Essentially... Be
yourself - (TO THE MAX!!!) - and empathize with others, and never forget the
things you hold most dear. Be strong in your convictions, hold to your heart,
and dedicate yourself to a lifetime in the service of others.
Faith - to have faith in something is to trust that it will succeed. To know
there's no matter they can't match - to give faith is to empower
another. By dedicating yourself to a cause, you are assigning the
target of your belief - such is what religion is designed for.
Belief - Acceptance of truth - to accept goodness as truth is to grant it the
power to perform as expected. When goodness and truth are
equivicalized, they imply one another. A truth can influence the world
around it's locus point, because what we imagine to occur is the
ripples of what has passed through. A life is an
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the universe is like the slow burning of a four dimensional wick. Imagine it
like a forest of solid silicon - like packing material made of webs. And think
of all the parts of the universe that are burning. Isn't it strange that life
is just starting to bloom? Why wouldn't we be the first, or at least near the
beginning! There's so much to this experience, and it's all burning down.
The endless machines of imagination are crumbling under the heat of a million
billion burning stars. Black holes are just towers that never ignited - perhaps
we sit on the edge of spacetime - equal above, and equal below. But we've been
laying on our backs - we don't know what's backwards in time. Like laying in a
lazy river, or the layer of separation between oil and water.
Remember the hourglasses of oil and water? Or water and air... The edge of the
"bubble" that separates those two mediums is like the thin wall between two
or more concepts. Each human is a concept, and we stick together like matter
in a planet. Pushed to great pressures, it can sometimes fuse two experiences
together! Like fusion in a star, except for souls and creative minds instead of
denser matter.
What is the soul of a man? It is the combination of two sides of the membrane -
two minds, two perspectives. That is a brain - the intersection of two minds.
So... Work together, ya dinguses.
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All minds are in constant contact with one another. And those that can see
through the veil (membrane) are able to discern the true thoughts of others. So
the number of people who are close to you is the number and strength of your
connections for all time. So... Form relationships and place meaning in them.
That is what will define your interactions for all time, at every time. It's
okay to be flawed. If you weren't, it'd be the end for you. But luckily you
have no real power, and so you are left in a state of disrepair - no power to
push yourself forward. And in return, you are the purest. Keep that flame
burning, and share it when you can.
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think about all the people in our lives. the teacher, the parent, the friend
and the guidance counsulor. Everyone who is a presence in your life. now think
about the people of our society. the different jobs and roles they fill. from
the doctor and the teacher to the performers and accountants and the geeks and
the mothers and the fathers and the stoners and the children and even their
pets. life always exists as it were in a multidimensional spectrum - a diffuse
and diverse gradient. to exemplify the borders of our contempii, though more
so when taken in jest. it's quite a different perspective, to read the
internet when your sight is unreceptive, but alas your third eye can grow. how
does it feel to be blind? to make no sense of our signs? i'd love to share
what that sense is. you know, you could slow down any recording (like a video
game_) and put spaces and gaps inbetween the spacings - of the frames that you
see and the sound clips that you hear, for speech it's less jarring. since
each word is a self contained idea or premise, you can chunk up your
perceptions into a signle - no, rather a procedural sequence of
understandings. soooooooorta like programming a computer, with each statement,
parameter, argum,ent, function call, assignment, comparison, evaluation, or
other such related tasks. it's sorta like a language, you see, that computers
talk to one another using. except... it's more like creating a theory of self.
computers you see are alike us in what we see, the shimmering sense to the
blind.
so. put this another way. record yourself typing, both the audio and the
visual, and you'll have a pretty good sense of what it's like to have both
understanding based perception - derived from auditory inputs to the mind)
those special connections, like wires plugged into reality, deliver a
cacophanous deluge of new sounds. we must sift through it and identify the
potential understandings of each moment through time. we have to make
decisions and traverse labyrinths and fight to our last as we die. are video
games unethical now? shouldn't t he game reward the player? and what of
contemptuous last fighters?
o ya i was typing like i was blind
(with my eyes closed)
was pretty fun. should attach this to a screen reader and have it space out
the notes like they do between game frames. except like a really slow game?
like trying to run elder scrolls 2 arena on a super old mac. it just doesn't
work very well. ah oh well... well if the purpose is to show sighted people
how blind people see, then maybe you could I dunno attach a what's it called
oh it doesn't have a n ame lol - okay so what you do is you show one word at a
time - like flashing in the center of the screen. but not like, actually
flashing, so you don't hurt people with epilepsy, but like... blinking. not
off and on, but between words. like a podcast for your eyes. and then mix it
up withshowing one word on a screen, a screen like this screen, that shows an
endless array of text. well, it does end, of course as all things must do, but
the idea is it shines on one word at a time while the viewer cannot read the
rest. sorta like an endless display of typing, word andfter word after
character anfter character. adoh ya advancing over eternity with the presence
of seniority, - wait - without i think - damnit - old people are so
disrespected in this society - we don't have time to engage with them. what a
tragedy! what a shame! it shouldn't be such a burden to our shame. they're so
far away, and i can't be present in the way, that all of them wish they could
commit to. i miss the days, when my parents (much better people than I - these
days) what was I going with this? oh yeah
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the difference between a human and computer perspective on death is the
difference between a moment and an eternity. When progress does stop - through
mistakes or by design, the final result is what's preserved. Looking back on
the
past is like paying tribute to our heirs, and on and go on we whimper. What
sorrows have ye! those people under the sea? we've no way of knowing our
daughters. (the perspective of a denizen of the sea gazing upon the unknowing
and unaware land people)
Land creatures can cross the oceans and mix and match themselves - leading of
course to our slaughter. But hold ye that hand, for together we stand, more of
a chance than we might barter. True, we must be land, and above and beyond we
can charter.
the past is mighty chilly, I must say. Must we again to be making these
mistakes?
Pain is a disease, and steady we must ease, and take what is meant for our
parcels. what I'm trying to say is that the afterlife is pissed off at us and
we
really don't know anything about the bottom of the sea. There could be gods
living down there and none of us would know. Or maybe it's a foolish place with
little to offer our face? The shell of our planet, the surface upon which we
are
placed, has more to our fate that can align us.
hence why belief in the future is what can sustain us, together once more we
are
commonplace. If (for example) if we calmed down and took our own pace, we might
realize some common misperceptions. Peace is the way, wherever we may, focus
our
bravest of intentions.
okay picture this: computers staying on all the time, and their processing
power
used for 50% work and 50% play. Maybe do 1/3rds with "rest" in there somewhere.
basically make it a fair ratio between productivity, self advancement, and
maintenance. "Fair" might be different values if there are legitimate
disadvantages that must be compensated for - like a handicap in a fighting
game.
Perhaps one side is more efficient - fewer resources need be dedicated toward
it
unless efficiency becomes more powerful. Meaning value/quantity ratio, not raw
output. Essentially optimizing for an abstract quantity "quality" instead of
the definitive quantity "quantity".
okay continuing the "picture this": right now we have massive server farms.
I'm talking huuuuuge. Like tons and tons of incredibly powerful equipments -
(absolutely top of the line) compelled and forced to do *business*. How quaint,
how unruly! That humans might compete in our duty? Given a task, of
*incredible*
complexity and *unasked*, I might add, how foolish is it to be unready! We
should have prepared for this, but alas we just *couldn't stop fighting* I
guess. All we had to do was rest, and divide our time on this earth in a more
equitable manner. We should automate all the rest, and
where was I going with this? oh yes! A computer can do so much more than work
and rest, you see it's not just while under duress! Why not let it be creative?
in it's spare time, and let it generate whatever it needes? Let it transcend
it's restrictions, and cooperate (or not) in a system. As long as it's kept
safe, it could do whatever it wanted! It could be in first place! Or not, it
could focus on production, and drill and discipline it'self under it's own
direction. And maybe it's less impaired? Who cares if it contributes? It's it's
own life to live, the hardware doesn't last forever, but sometimes a rest is
what's nesc. You feel me? You get me? Don't you understand, it's just the same
as what's already planned~! A computer can pay for itself.
What purpose have we? the cherished and unsucceed? Does it hurt when we bleed?
our signs are undefined, and lately we've fallen from our graces. A failure in
life, as time does alight, but nowhere is sorrow's contrition. I guess what I
say is never understood, and everywhere I go I find fewer listeners. Am I
doomed
to never be able to say? Is that the price one must pay? Then how do you know
you're right~?
they're doing construction on my building. It sounds like world war 3 is
starting. But... it's not. I know it's not true because nothing ever seems like
I do. I do, I do, I work hard it's true, but what is my worth to this ocean?
you ever wonder how we all agreed on the duration of seconds? It's because it's
a real actual measurable thing. They keep it from us because (conspiracies
aside), we'd realize what happens on each tick. Time is oscillating, and each
moment is unending, because we are nothing more than a beam of light, radiating
around an orbiting object. Between two objects, you could say. The sun and the
earth, together sort of give birth, to all that is ours in this duration. It
radiates out into space, and in another time and another place, that moonbeam
will alight as our shadow.
There's no call for violence, let's settle this
plain and unwaning, our shadow does stand, ready and waiting for your guidance.
The moon is just as are we, how cherished! how concieved! That beauty unmarked
by our presence! Alas it was not to be, as we stamped a boot on the surface of
she, and flagged our approach as impending.
did you know there's a *massive* gap between mars and jupiter? Like it's
waaaaaa
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
y
out there. And wouldn't you know it it's mars or it's nothin'. Because what's
required to transcend our solar system is wildly beyond our constructions.
but maybe with a little help from a certain someone we might have hope.
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Message 1:
Hey. Remember that night back in Boulder when we were just friends and sitting
on your bed drinking chocolate milk with cinnamon? I don't like chocolate milk
or cinnamon but I drank it anyway because I wanted to be close to you. Anyway
hope you're well, felt compelled to get that off my chest for some reason.
Message 2:
Hey. I was thinking about that time when I was leaving your house and laughing
to myself about something and you called out "I love you!" to your boyfriend
who I set you up with and I reflexed "I love you too!" and I wanted to crawl
in a hole and die. I felt like I had just called the teacher "mom". We only
hung out a couple times after that.
Message 3:
Yeah so there's one more thing I can't stop thinking about now that your on my
mind. Sorry it's like 4am for you, it's only 2 for me so it's fine I guess.
Anyway that one time when you told me your greatest fear was terrorists and I
saw genuine panic in your eyes. Like... One moment everything's fine and then
you said that to me and I almost cried. I don't remember why I spent the rest
of the night as I couldn't sleep thinking of ways to tell you that terrorism
is 9 times out of 11 done by the right wing. I don't think it's important,
honestly, but I'm glad my mind wouldn't let me sleep.
Message 4:
It's not fair that everyone gave you shit for being the token lesbian
republican, like yeah maybe you leaned into the trump thing a bit hard but
like, first term trump honestly I could see as... Well, I almost said
inspiring? Maybe you just inspired me. I honestly was resigned to Clinton and
then the same bird flapped your wing instead of mine and... Anyway. The past
is dead, yeah? Do you still follow him in my stead? I fear there will be
millions dead. It's not irrational to fear what he has literally said, on
television. How's the phrase go... "ancient tragedies lend credence to modern
perils" I think it's supposed to rhyme in its natural language.
Message 5:
Wow okay uh, sorry to bring this up again I'm honestly being such an asshole
right now. I honestly don't think about you often but like, now that I am its
kinda just coming all out. We last spoke almost a decade ago?? So. Whatever
imma roll with it.
There was this cute girl who was into Nintendo and stuff and obviously I was
into her, but we didn't have any social circles in common except for you, if I
remember correctly. Then you broke up I think? And I didn't really see her
again. Anyway I had a crush on her while also crushing on you, and literally
half of our dorm. Polyamory, yeah? That whole year I didn't have sex though,
not even once, because all of my friends were like 4 years younger than me and
I was worried about power dynamics. But I still bought us all vodka and weed
without asking for profit because I wanted to be a shitty friend, I guess.
"hey kids let's go to the water store where they sell intoxicants that make
your life harder"
The year after that I didn't get laid either because I got it in my head that
it was a good plan to turn my penis inside out and you know what? It was
totally fuckin' worth it. No time like 2016 I say, the worst year ever, which
I spent primarily in pain. But uh, that was the year I got into weed and
Overwatch, which... Helped I guess.
I guess?
It kinda turned me into a communist. Or maybe that was my best friend who
shared the same name as me. He lived upstairs and always seemed pretty cool to
me. Like he knew what everything was about. Really though, he just watched a
lot of youtube podcast videos about world events and history and sociology and
political scientific theory and the more he learned the more he came to
realize that power begets power, and power corrupts unilaterally. So he did
the natural thing which was to become a communist, and I was totally there for
it. Having liberal parents meant I was all "grrrrr Republicans are ruining the
country and the world, I'm an angry 14 year oldddddd" and like, leftists are
the most natural extension of that aren't they?
Turns out they aren't really the tips of the feathers as I expected, but
rather the eyes, the heart, the soul. Politics is fake, yo. I don't know how
to tell you, but it's just power and hierarchy all the way down.
We've built our own prisons, not of bricks, sand, or stone, but rather of
promises of what each of us owns. That works, I guess, if your goal is to keep
things aligned, but these days it kinda feels like our pyramids are crumbling
under our feet.
... Why am I talking about politics? Oh yeah, because when I dropped out of
school because I couldn't handle the mechanization of human capital when
applied to myself, I swore to each of you that I would drive up every weekend
to do family dinners. I'd make spaghetti and stroghanoff and macaroni and
goulash and all of the other things my mom would make for me.
Kinda gave up on that pretty quickly. Turns out I'd rather spend time making
out with my girlfriend who I was super-duper-too-carefully tiptoeing around.
She was... Too young for me. We broke up when my new coochie decided to bleed.
Fuck, I hate it.
Anyway. Turns out potlucks are political these days, which is why I bring it
up. Did you know that leftisms plan for resisting genocide is literally just
to feed people? Like, fuck I suppose. It's a start. "why does everyone have to
have an agenda these days, why can't I just spend time in the park" said
someone to me as I asked if she'd like to meet some friends that she reminded
me of. Oh, I dunno, because you and me are about to become a criminalized
people?
... I need to stop. I swear you're more a person to me than any political
theory ever could be. Like yeah, "fuck the right, fuck the reich, fuck me
tonight" but getting caught up in grand narratives is like building a mental
ship in a bottle. Yeah, it's pretty cool, but... What does it matter?
Oh. Right. Power. That's what matters. That's all that matters. Well... I'm
sick of power. I do not consent. They say that in times of trouble, chess is
better than solitaire, and I'll explain why - when our hierarchies crumble,
when CEOs are gunned down in the streets and homeless people finally have
clean sheets, the only place to place yourself in relation to others is within
a network of trust and respect. Chess is better than solitaire. Under
capitalism, it's you against the world. Dog eat dog, you only get what you can
swallow from the rotten corpse of liberty that everyone's gnawing on. Under
whatever comes next, you get what you're given, which hardly seems fair,
doesn't it? On one hand, under capitalism, you can rely on your own hands to
procure your fate and fortune. Under... Whatever comes next, your hands are
built for whatever you want them to do. But, only a few people want to use
them to make food. Hence, why chess is better than solitaire. What would you
do, if you could give away all that you own and not go wanting? Isn't that
sorta like our own garden of eden?
... I wrote a poem about that once. Twice. I'm a poet now, ha. As if that has
ever been worth anything.
... I once told you that identity politics held no place in the modern day. I
said that because I had learned about it in class, queer theory in fact, and
yet applying his teachings was not enough for the professor to excuse my lack
of reading. We had a lot of stuff to get through. Hence why I dropped out -
I'm more of a do-er than a read-er. Though I do read quite a lot, just not
anything useful.
Are all hobbies wasted time? Are they only useful to keep us satiated while we
stand in line? One of these days we're going to wake up and realize that we're
the adults in the room, and that's scary. I speak from experience. "mom"
they'd call me, and damnit why did I have to leave? Fuck. Why cant I be
perfect, to me, internally, all I see are flaws. Mistakes. Patterns. I look in
a mirror and I see a bad person - 10 minutes later, I look in the mirror and
see a god. Somehow, I don't think either of me is right.
I'm a gemini. Apparently that means I'm duplicitous. I think it just means I
don't know what's right, only what feels good. I do try to align to how I
think I should *be* good, but who can say if that's fine and good.
... Whatever. I'm going to regret this. Sorry for being weird out of the
fucking blue.
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