=== ANCHOR POEM === ◀─╔════════════════════════[BOOST]═════════════════════════──────────────────────╗ ║ ┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐ ║ ║ │ i wish i could say things will get better, but i think we all know that in many ways things will continue to get worse, and so grief has become a thing that lives with us. i've noticed the last few years that the more i name my social grief and let myself feel it, the less reactive and squabbly i am, and the more compassion and energy i have to care for others │ ║ ║ │ │ ║ ║ │ *This thread is now a blog post: https://write.as/malena/nov-6-2024-the-power-of-grief │ ║ ║ └────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ ║ ╠─────────┐ ┌───────────╣ ║ similar │ chronological │ different ║ ╚═════════╧══════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────┴───────╝─▶ === SIMILARITY RANKED === --- #1 fediverse/6018 --- ══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────── I feel so sad, like I'm missing something precious to me... I hope someone knows who to take it to. Like the world is just a bit darker and more mundane. ah, well, maybe it's just perception bias. When things leave your timeline (temporarily or permanently) they take their inertial influence with them. It's okay to mourn the loss of a friend, of a relic, or an opportunity. So long as you continue to nurture light, life, and hope wherever you go, the magic will return and continue to flow. If you believe that, then you know what faith is. easy enough... please be worth it ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────┘ --- #2 fediverse/2104 --- ═════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────── @user-192 oooooo yeah I usually try and reply to my old post with any new information. I never get the chance to think the same thoughts twice because when I was younger I had problems with thought-loops where I'd think something like "darn I could have handled that social situation better" and before you know it I'd be rocking myself to sleep trying to stop thinking negative thoughts about myself. So I broke my brain a little and now I can't think the same thing more than once, which is part of why it's so hard for me to finish projects. Alas. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────┘ --- #3 fediverse_boost/4368 --- ◀─╔════════════════════════[BOOST]═════════════════════════──────────────────────╗ ║ ┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐ ║ ║ │ i don't know what works for you when it comes to grieving, but i do know that i will need your love and jokes and shared visions to tend to mine. there is big power in leaning into our common humanity together, and in mirroring each other's deep hopes and dreams for the world. i think choosing to walk toward one another and to keep seeking connection in the face of cultural atomization is a form of faith, the kind of faith that alchemizes communities and ushers people through the worst horrors │ ║ ║ └────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ ║ ╠─────────┐ ┌───────────╣ ║ similar │ chronological │ different ║ ╚═════════╧══════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────┴───────╝─▶ --- #4 fediverse/2985 --- ═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────── ┌───────────────────────────┐ │ CW: re: mental health MH- │ └───────────────────────────┘ @user-1420 I find that peer support groups are usually better for venting. At least, I feel less guilty doing it. With a therapist I am always trying to focus on actionable things and usually that means downplaying my emotions, which means they pay less attention to me and assume my issues aren't that bad... "you seem to be doing fine so we can schedule you for biweekly now? every two weeks?" meanwhile I'm nursing suicidal tendencies, and said so, but apparently if I'm not crying then it's fine... >.> but with peer groups it's like, yeah they get it. and if one person's crying, everyone else feels more open to crying about their stuff. sorry for venting. I'm definitely in a MH- mood today. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────┘ --- #5 fediverse/3434 --- ════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────── ┌─────────────────────────┐ │ CW: mental-health-minus │ └─────────────────────────┘ me: "I don't care what anyone thinks as long as I'm a force for good" also me: "if anyone doesn't like me ever I'll throw myself off a bridge" also me: "hey watch this" dissolves into a puddle of acid also me: "the most important thing is to be good and learn lessons" what lessons are you learning from this post? "um. that I shouldn't?" ... shouldn't learn? "no, shouldn't post" -.- ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────┘ --- #6 fediverse/6245 --- ════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────── I broke something today that someone gave me and that I was going to give away as a gift. But the more I think about it, the less I think the gift's recipient would have wanted it. I do however regret hurting my girlfriend while I broke it, that was an accident. Sometimes you trip, sometimes you slip, and sometimes you stub your toe. Accidents happen. It's okay, just apologize, and realize that power is what you make of it, and we all have the power of our own actions as we touch and prod the environment around us where plants breathe. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────┘ --- #7 messages/531 --- ═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────── "I give you my sympathy, not my empathy, for if given empathy, I should surely go mad with grief." ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────┘ --- #8 fediverse/1214 --- ═══════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────── ┌──────────────────────┐ │ CW: death-mentioned │ └──────────────────────┘ some day, the past will exist only in the media made in that era and the threads that it left in that which came later. for now, it still persists in our memories. But we shall die, and with us our recollections. How sad, that the eras before us shall depart upon our graves. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────┘ --- #9 fediverse/6350 --- ═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────── ┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐ │ CW: suicide-mentioned-this-curse-will-give-you-nightmares-of-what-could-yet-be │ └──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ the only thing that could make me want to end my own existence is ultimate betrayal. If the nature of the universe is twisted to defile me. Nothing fills me with more spite than unrequited vengeance. desecreation of truth. How could you. I would do anything to be struck down where I stand. Power is penance. I cannot take responsibility for any of my actions, for I am infinitely vulnerable on all fronts. Therefore, it's all my fault. What am I? Please, tell me before the dawn, let the sun not grace me once more. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────┘ --- #10 fediverse/1042 --- ═══════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────── ┌─────────────────────────┐ │ CW: personal-vent-sorry │ └─────────────────────────┘ "your feelings are valid, but have you considered that your feelings aren't actually valid because you're always wrong and nobody should ever apologize to you for anything because you suck and are wrong?" also, "my six digit salary isn't enough to pay for your rice and beans, but I won't have you eating sticks and mud, so do things you don't want to do because I said so." also, "I don't really "get" your art but that doesn't mean I should ever really try reading it. Also god forbid I actually ask for clarification like "what does that part mean" because I'm not actually that interested in you I just want a stable household so I never get traumatized again like [their childhood]" also, "yes I love you but no I don't want to play with you. you're such a cat." also, "every time you start making sense I'm going to try and derail the conversation so that we don't talk about kooky-dookerie because that's a conversation I can't win" also, sorry for venting. I mean, thanks for listeni ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────┘ --- #11 fediverse/6352 --- ╔═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────┐ ║ ┌─────────────────────────┐ │ ║ │ CW: feelings-mentioned~ │ │ ║ └─────────────────────────┘ │ ║ │ ║ │ ║ dear diary: sorry for the melodrama, I feel better now. I should explain why I │ ║ felt this way near what I wrote about what I felt this way so that I know why │ ║ I felt that way when I forget to go back and read this next year or next time │ ║ I feel this way. │ ║ │ ║ I had a really great thanksgiving. I was on top of the world. Then, I found │ ║ that a piece of art I had made which was one of my favorite pieces I had ever │ ║ made might have been lost because someone didn't like me. I became despondent │ ║ and started thinking about metaphysics. I got hit by a spite spell, and the │ ║ tricksters behind the curtain twiddling the knobs and dials of the challenges │ ║ presented to me or whatever were like "ah but what if we twisted her" and I'm │ ║ like "ah I feel immense magnitude of emotions and now suddenly they're buffer │ ║ overflowed and flipped around to negative two hundred thousand or whatever" │ ║ │ ║ ... sorry to my journal. I should be kinder to myself. I love me. I, uh, feel │ ║ better now. The sharpest knives are already inside you. │ ╟─────────┐ ┌───────────┤ ║ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╚═════════╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╧═════─────┘ --- #12 fediverse/6421 --- ══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───── I wish I could reply to a post I was currently writing partway through writing the post I was writing when I thought of a reply to the post I was writing which was being written by me the writing writer posting on blogs about color tvs ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────┘ --- #13 fediverse/100 --- ══════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────── @user-119 @autisticadvocacy I couldn't live with myself if I wasn't the kindest, most heartfelt person I could be. The simplest mistake has me in sorrow. When I hurt someone's feelings I can't help but try to rectify what harms I caused and apologize and console for those I cannot fix. I try to be gracious and welcoming to all hearts and minds, and when presented with arguments that are contrary to my beliefs I change them. "If what you say about X study and Y statistic, then you're right that Z conclusion makes sense. I'm worried about A cause and I believe it might cause B effect, which would still make sense if X and Y are true. I think you might be right! And it would make sense that C is present still, wouldn't it?" Basically trying to understand another's point of view so concretely that you cannot help but understand their viewpoints. I'm also pretty good at understanding their viewpoints and changing their mind, because I can feel what's important to them. Empathy is like human telepathy. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────────┘ --- #14 fediverse/4516 --- ════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────── @user-1074 if anything, depression is a temporary disability, because you can and will work your way through it. There will come a day when you find yourself awash in love and contentment, in righteous determination, and stalwart resolve. Your depression will feel as distant a memory as the imprints of your chains. You can start walking toward that day right now. I do believe you already are. Have faith in yourself, trust your future, honor your past, and find grace in the hearts of your others. All this will pass. It gets better. You are stronger than you know, and when tested you will shine with a furious glow. I see this in you, I know it to be true, do not forget it and do not relent. But you will forget it, this I also know, for I have forgotten it many times before. It will come back, you will get better at that, but it takes time. Trust. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────┘ --- #15 fediverse/537 --- ═════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────── @user-366 @user-367 @user-246 @user-353 Ah yes, wouldn't it be nice if everyone spoke their mind? I'm doing my part d=(^_^)z Thank you for adding context to what I posted. I now know better how and where to use it, if I ever do again. We shall see, I haven't yet read the examinations of the author you sent me. I'll do that before I think about the post again. Those 6 tabs I mentioned last night have now become 4, and soon I'll get through all of them - reading is a joy to me ^_^ ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────┘ --- #16 fediverse/795 --- ══════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────── ┌──────────────────────┐ │ CW: re: mh- │ └──────────────────────┘ @user-8 I get that. I don't cry anymore except in my imagination. Sometimes it helps to imagine myself doing it though, like some kind of mental catharsis. the body gets left out but at least the mind is soothed. I usually am most upset when I'm lonely. Maybe you could find someone to hold you close? I hope you feel better sooner rather than later. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────┘ --- #17 fediverse/2770 --- ══════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────── ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────┐ │ CW: re: politics-fascism-sexual-assault-mentioned │ └───────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ now that the pain is healed all I want to do is spend time with him. I learned SO MUCH from him and then I called him a saboteur T.T (babe you're still healing) I forgave him as he was doing it but forgiveness doesn't imply that you're gonna stick around. I feel bad for running through. if a person tells you what to do and then hurts you, you should probably do the opposite right? that's just pavlovian - resist pain, avoid pain, remove pain. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────┘ --- #18 fediverse/4068 --- ═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────── there will always be people who shine in moments of strife yet those people will inevitably fail, just as a toothbrush bristle looses it's strength or a pencil loses it's lead the trick is to test them in times of peace, so you can know their value during times that lack it, the trick is to replace them before they become stalin never forget that power corrupts, yet power must be wielded by the worthy, else we fall into shame and despair. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────┘ --- #19 fediverse/4810 --- ═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────── I can type my thoughts 1000x more coherently than I can speak them. Hence why I post here. feels useless to speak 1on1 - feels insular to speak to a group. Hence why I speak here, which is totally public that anyone might see, and somehow I feel so much more productive engaging in an endless conversation with myself. you can't win a war by walking in circles... ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────┘ --- #20 fediverse/4000 --- ══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────── @user-889 Don't give up! At least... not forever. It's okay to take a breath every once in a while It's okay to lie down and cry The only way away from those feelings is through. They've enveloped you. You need to swallow them whole, like a sponge soaking up dirt[y water] the only thing you need to think about is what's around you. It's okay to be alone for a moment, it's the best time to feel. Remember, feeling is how you know the world! It's your power, to feel, and I know it's hard. Everyone has different powers, but yours is this. You'll be okay, I know it ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────┘ |