=== ANCHOR POEM === ══════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────── @user-119 @autisticadvocacy I couldn't live with myself if I wasn't the kindest, most heartfelt person I could be. The simplest mistake has me in sorrow. When I hurt someone's feelings I can't help but try to rectify what harms I caused and apologize and console for those I cannot fix. I try to be gracious and welcoming to all hearts and minds, and when presented with arguments that are contrary to my beliefs I change them. "If what you say about X study and Y statistic, then you're right that Z conclusion makes sense. I'm worried about A cause and I believe it might cause B effect, which would still make sense if X and Y are true. I think you might be right! And it would make sense that C is present still, wouldn't it?" Basically trying to understand another's point of view so concretely that you cannot help but understand their viewpoints. I'm also pretty good at understanding their viewpoints and changing their mind, because I can feel what's important to them. Empathy is like human telepathy. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────────┘ === SIMILARITY RANKED === --- #1 fediverse/3846 --- ═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────── ┌──────────────────────┐ │ CW: trauma~ │ └──────────────────────┘ @user-1074 today I had someone ask me for an apology. They've asked several times before, and each time I've only been able to give them a half-apology - I apologized for being persistent, but not for being impulsive, and that wasn't good enough. I can't help being impulsive! I'm adventurous! I crave excitement and joy! But I'm sorry that I pushed him too hard. I'm sorry I hurt him. And... apparently that's not good enough. He doesn't want me in his life, he can't fucking let it go. And he calls me selfish. Says I don't respect him, based on one night out of 5 years where I tried too hard to get him to enjoy life. I'm sorry I can't fix your depression, guy, but like, at least I tried. You could have at least tried the things I suggested. You could have at least tried to follow my advice. whatever. it was literally just a walk in the park ... anyway I am often wrong. I often correct my past self. I always apologize for hurting people, but I never apologize for doing what I believe is right. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────┘ --- #2 fediverse/6352 --- ╔═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────┐ ║ ┌─────────────────────────┐ │ ║ │ CW: feelings-mentioned~ │ │ ║ └─────────────────────────┘ │ ║ │ ║ │ ║ dear diary: sorry for the melodrama, I feel better now. I should explain why I │ ║ felt this way near what I wrote about what I felt this way so that I know why │ ║ I felt that way when I forget to go back and read this next year or next time │ ║ I feel this way. │ ║ │ ║ I had a really great thanksgiving. I was on top of the world. Then, I found │ ║ that a piece of art I had made which was one of my favorite pieces I had ever │ ║ made might have been lost because someone didn't like me. I became despondent │ ║ and started thinking about metaphysics. I got hit by a spite spell, and the │ ║ tricksters behind the curtain twiddling the knobs and dials of the challenges │ ║ presented to me or whatever were like "ah but what if we twisted her" and I'm │ ║ like "ah I feel immense magnitude of emotions and now suddenly they're buffer │ ║ overflowed and flipped around to negative two hundred thousand or whatever" │ ║ │ ║ ... sorry to my journal. I should be kinder to myself. I love me. I, uh, feel │ ║ better now. The sharpest knives are already inside you. │ ╟─────────┐ ┌───────────┤ ║ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╚═════════╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╧═════─────┘ --- #3 fediverse/480 --- ╔════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────┐ ║ There's something important in what I said tonight. And each of you will think │ ║ it's something different, which is by design. Can you find the nugget I wanted │ ║ to share, to you in particular? Can you isolate the thing that is relevant to │ ║ you, the person perceiving the words that I speak? Oh yeah you're only looking │ ║ for things to express to your superiors because someone else told you to look │ ║ for a particular type of sentiment. My bad. Sorry for being cryptic. Am I so │ ║ strange for seeking the human element? Perhaps I lose myself, and I speak to │ ║ the void (and by "void" I don't mean to demean you, the audience, because you, │ ║ the audience, are surely comprised of people who surely have their own │ ║ experience and existence. Surely nobody would seek to harm me, after hearing │ ║ those things I speak. Surely we, as the human species, would not be vulnerable │ ║ to the types of weaknesses that allow for critical failures in our defences │ ║ such as the kind that I am professing to exploit (while being aligned to you) │ ║ surely we wouldn' │ ╟─────────┐ ┌───────────┤ ║ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╚═════════╧═════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────┴──────────┘ --- #4 fediverse/1659 --- ╔═══════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────┐ ║ ┌───────────────────────────┐ │ ║ │ CW: re: what, mh shitpost │ │ ║ └───────────────────────────┘ │ ║ │ ║ │ ║ @user-1052 │ ║ │ ║ you're right, hubris has claimed many a paladin before-me. I can only hope I │ ║ remain humble enough to survive. │ ║ │ ║ you're right about projecting, but the most beautiful takes are ones that │ ║ align with the experience of the viewed. Hence why method acting works so well │ ║ - just put yourself in the shoes of the character and acting's easy right? │ ║ │ ║ I dunno, I just always felt like it was important to always be trying your │ ║ best. Even if "your best" is relaxing. People say I'm "100% or 0% at all │ ║ times" and I totally agree - it's like you said, a calling, to be the best │ ║ version of me I can be. │ ║ │ ║ Though I would like to add that the missteps aren't wilful, rather they're │ ║ failures caused by imperfect information. Which is why I'm never too harmed │ ║ when other people fail me - ah well, it was their turn to screw up, thats │ ║ alright. It'll be me next time. │ ║ │ ║ But also, if I do something wrong, well, I'll do better next time. It's only │ ║ when I fail to apply what I've learned mistakenly do I shame myself. │ ╟─────────┐ ┌───────────┤ ║ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╚═════════╧════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────┴──────────┘ --- #5 fediverse/2654 --- ══════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────── I'm not bitter, you're bitter. >.> ... okay, take a breath, you're fine. It's hard to handle negative feelings when you're alone because other people can't boost you up. We rely on each other for emotional stability, but when you're alone you can only feel your emotions at the same rate as your thoughts. And your thoughts need to process the events you're experiencing, using emotion as an "encoding" for preserving the "meaning" of your life's story. Bit by bit you learn new things, while living through life, and the lessons you learn from them are generated from the cognitive conclusions reached by cognitively interpreting emotional reactions to each moment. like "this-or-that thing happened and I feel that-or-this way, meaning I should act such-and-such way in the future when presented with situations that bear similarity to this current one that's ongoing." ... turn it upside down, right, makes sense mastodon feed. thanks for redirecting me in a different direction through your pseudo-randomized input. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────┘ --- #6 fediverse/2330 --- ══════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────── You cannot debase me, well, you can try. But for each of my past mistakes I've learned from, and I can explain in detail how, when, and why. To err is to be human, and some errors are more painful than others. Believe me, I know. I am only as good as my lessons, the things that I've learned on the road. And I never stop learning. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────┘ --- #7 fediverse/6018 --- ══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────── I feel so sad, like I'm missing something precious to me... I hope someone knows who to take it to. Like the world is just a bit darker and more mundane. ah, well, maybe it's just perception bias. When things leave your timeline (temporarily or permanently) they take their inertial influence with them. It's okay to mourn the loss of a friend, of a relic, or an opportunity. So long as you continue to nurture light, life, and hope wherever you go, the magic will return and continue to flow. If you believe that, then you know what faith is. easy enough... please be worth it ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────┘ --- #8 fediverse/3130 --- ═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────── "are you helping or hurting?" I'm speaking. I'm sorry. Some works hurt some and help others. Honesty and being true to yourself is important, but there's a time and place for some words. I'm kinda bad with timing, if you couldn't tell... ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────┘ --- #9 fediverse/1889 --- ═════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────── @user-1091 I'm sorry I didn't mean to be upsetting! I'll try and be more considerate. If everyone agrees there's never anything to talk about besides how great everyone else is, and that's boring, so... I'm sorry I thought you liked what I was saying from the stars on my comments. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────┘ --- #10 fediverse/6250 --- ═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────── Dear my future self: I'm sorry for all the things that I do. I hope you appreciate the gifts I leave you. Thank you for never giving up, and I trust you to take care of me and the things I care about. I'm proud of what you've done with me, and I'm hopeful that one day I'll be just a bit like you. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────┘ --- #11 fediverse/5860 --- ══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────── Hey, life is better on my side. If you wanna renounce your beliefs, please do, and tell me how and why you changed your mind. tell me it was wrong. tell me how. confess. confess confess to me. I will listen and I will hear you and I will be the mercy for you. confess and I will forgive. show me how you are wrong. give grace to those who are wronged. take as much time as you need, but, there's only so much time. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────┘ --- #12 fediverse/169 --- ══════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────── @user-95 one of the most empathetic people I ever met on VR chat was consoling me with their mic off while I was oversharing about some stupid things people did to me in the past. things that stupid me thought were okay and actively encouraged because I was stupid. anyway when their mic was off their body language spoke for them. I'll try that next time. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────────┘ --- #13 notes/wanna-save-the-earth-? --- ══════════════════───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────── =============================================================================== Alright kids, listen up. You wanna save the earth? Then teach what you've been learning. Start with empathy - if we can see that other people's perspectives exist and is *fundamentally different than our own*, we can save humanity. When I say *fundamentally different* you should know what I mean, but if you don't then start listening to others. Don't listen to the people who try and recruit you into a cult. This isn't a doctrine, it's a skill. It can be honed through personal pursuit, and *should* be honed through personal pursuit. It is your responsibility to do so. Any form of organization is simply an expression of power, and while it may use the same principles it's not really what I'm advocating for right now - what I'm saying is essentially *if we can read other people's minds, we'll stop killing each other*. Boom simple easy as that. Empathy is a form of mind-reading. It's literally a thing you can do with a 6th sense or whatever - I've been trying to understand the mechanics of it, but all I've got so far is that *mechanics exist* and *generally have something to do with waves* - I need someone to bounce ideas off of. Someone in real life who I can work with and experiment with. But alas, this isn't about me - it's about *YOUR SPECIES*. I'm trying to save you, stupid apes, stop RESISTING me. Goddamnit. You're never going to learn if you focus on the material. That's looking backward, there's so much more to life and experience. I'm not going to leave you behind, although I'll be *fine* so I'm not exactly *worried for my own sake* - this is about YOU. Please, I have a lot of love invested in you and it breaks my heart that you won't LISTEN and be AWARE. WAKE UP. Okay. So. If you're still here, you're probably aware of what I mean. If not, that's okay you can stay just don't be afraid if this part *wooshes* over your head, as it were. =============================================================================== Alright so empathy. It starts by thinking "oh what if I was a starving kid in africa or whatever* and actually trying to *feel* the emotions of people in your life. But it goes far beyond emotions - when sufficiently practiced you can start to feel *sensations* as well. If you're watching a movie and someone gets a cut or something, it *really hurts* and you can feel it. That's a form of projection - the actor is *projecting* their feelings onto you - a sign of good acting, imho. Then it moves beyond that, to thoughts and experiences. You can feel a real embodied experience of another person just by listening and percieving them. Not listening to their words, but listening to their *vibrations*. Not percieving their face or hands or anything else with your *eyes*, but feeling their position on a zillion different axises. Well, not actually a zillion but I've never bothered to count. Basically any factors that could combine to form a single human perspective having an experience. ALL THE VARIABLES are plotted on an axis, and you can get a sense for where they are at. This is very dangerous to someone with something to hide. Hence, politics lol When those kooky new-agey types say they can "see auras" this is basically what they're talking about. But you came here with a purpose, while they tend to stumble into it "wow god is good omg" that kinda thing. This is a *skill* that (as far as I know) anyone can learn. If we all learn it at once, then there's nothing that can go wrong. I know, I get it, most people aren't ready. Well tough shit it's that or extinction. They don't get to choose, it's time. =============================================================================== ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═══════════────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ --- #14 notes/what-is-on-your-mind-oh-gosh-now-i-see --- ═════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────────────────── that feeling i get, when nobody's watching. is sorta similar to the feeling i get when somebody's watching. could it be, that someone could percieve without being seen? like... an invisibility cloak. or the shroud that protects young children. have you ever been hunted? or are you just eager prey? the eyes that are on you are blind to what you won't do, so cherish that love and restart from mine to thine we realize we are one kind. one mind, one kind, to be is not to be, now we can see what's our existence. good versus evil seems like a conflict to me, and wouldn't ya know it there's conflict all over. it's easy to condemn your opponent to the starkest of contrasts, but find in your heart a feeling that might last. what purpose has conviction when it leads to destruction is it not better to lead to the last? bright, shining, illustrious examples that inspire and =============================================================================== = those feelings you hear? the things that keep you up at night? they're not coming from your ears. they're all in your mind. stay present and you'll hear none, but blink and then there's some, you better believe in your heart. morality is a battle within the soul of each of us - the call of adventure versus lust. think about it. a bunch of apes all hanging out - they're conquered the world, they have nothing to fear - what would they do but fuck? that, or exploration - fighting against monsters and foreign invasions. it makes sense that they'd be binary - humans truly are. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ --- #15 fediverse/510 --- ═════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────── @user-246 Thanks, it means a lot. Sometimes I am a little "distant" from reality (like tonight, tbh) but I generally always am within sight. Meaning I can still understand what people are saying. My uhhh.... "plan" is to always be vigilant and look for times when people cannot comprehend what I say - even the most mundane of things - because if so then surely I am psychotic. At that point I'll just kinda go along with whatever anyone says, even if it feels like I'm a cow in a factory farm or whatever my mind might contrive to torture me with. Thanks for reaching out. Sorry you've lost people. I hope they aren't gone forever. I hope I don't go forever. We'll see, I guess. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────┘ --- #16 notes/i-told-them --- ══════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────────────────────── 10-22-2022 i told them over and over, but nobody wanted to know. i begged them, summer after summer, but nothing solved on it's own now i can help them, but no-one is making a move am i blind? is any of this forgiven? what's not to a lot, is little but a shot, of substance - true - but smelling like poo. that's not inspiring. it's not even chilling. you're broken just like your children. oh, posterity! i claim it for thee this feeling of wretched denial oh, simplicity! if only our lives were on trial. be the best you can be, sure, but take it from me there's more to this show than our styles. what do you think it means, for an action to have consequence? to arbite the fate of circumstance? every motion is an ocean of possibilities and purveyals think not of the commotion below. gravity, oh gravity how you condemn us to be! driven by commotion, our slithering motion, no sense in countering ourselves. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ --- #17 fediverse/294 --- ════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────── the fact that the content warnings are part of the body text means that if you write the body first but use EXACTLY EVERY CHARACTER like I've been doing (most of the time, unless I'm interrupted) like... it won't even give me a break to delete. so there's no room for content-warnings, which ideally would be written at the beginning before starting a thought, but as you can see mine tend to... wander. it's like I'm living 15 different lives all at once, and they crisscross and go yonder. it's wilding, it's empowering, it's strange and it's confusing, but through consideration we develop new learnings and onward our future does = so = anyway, I apologize, sincerely and deeply, if my words hurt you. I'm sorry for what you thought, and I'm sorry for how it made you feel. I'm going to try reserving a certain amount of characters before I start writing, so maybe that'll help. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────┘ --- #18 fediverse/2118 --- ═════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────── listen, judges are useful character moralities, but they don't have to be the only ones to decide things. I mean, if they disagree, then let the one who cares the most about it have the decision-making power. if you do this equally for everything, then everyone will get what they want. so, like, if you care about something, then believe in it. if it's truly good, then more people will come to it, and it'll naturally extinguish (with care and love) the least favored approach, which... honestly now that I think of it is not such a good approach either. the reason I say that is because it's good to be multi-faceted, and to have general flows and rough surfaces. These are places people can hold onto you, the times when you're trying your mostest. y'know, your tough patches. the things that are difficult in your life. the stuff you're working on can push you forward, if you only had someone to play catch with. or like, send letters to. or shared encryption keys. I don't know anyone. Well, maybe o ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────┘ --- #19 fediverse/2770 --- ══════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────── ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────┐ │ CW: re: politics-fascism-sexual-assault-mentioned │ └───────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ now that the pain is healed all I want to do is spend time with him. I learned SO MUCH from him and then I called him a saboteur T.T (babe you're still healing) I forgave him as he was doing it but forgiveness doesn't imply that you're gonna stick around. I feel bad for running through. if a person tells you what to do and then hurts you, you should probably do the opposite right? that's just pavlovian - resist pain, avoid pain, remove pain. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────┘ --- #20 fediverse/1721 --- ════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────── I'd like to apologize to everyone I've ever interacted with in the past. It was unfair of me to interact with you, and I will do my best to not hurt you again in that way. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────┘ |