=== ANCHOR POEM ===
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I feel so sad, like I'm missing something precious to me... I hope someone
knows who to take it to. Like the world is just a bit darker and more mundane.
ah, well, maybe it's just perception bias. When things leave your timeline
(temporarily or permanently) they take their inertial influence with them.
It's okay to mourn the loss of a friend, of a relic, or an opportunity. So
long as you continue to nurture light, life, and hope wherever you go, the
magic will return and continue to flow. If you believe that, then you know
what faith is. easy enough...
please be worth it
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=== SIMILARITY RANKED ===
--- #1 messages/1336 ---
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Somehow, it feels like nobody is all that interested in me. Like nobody wants
me, that they want me to disappear and stay hidden.
This is of course just dark whispers trying to be purified by me. Surely,
surely that must be so.
Maybe I'm depressed. This happens sometimes.
Maybe I'm feeling threatened. This happens sometimes, especially when things
are uncertain. Is this the day when my food will be poisoned? Is tomorrow when
i get kicked out of homeschool? Maybe I forgot something important yesterday
but I can't recall whether I'm at liberty to recall.
Maybe I'm feeling lonely.
I am feeling lonely.
Yep that's probably it.
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--- #2 messages/570 ---
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There will come a day when all the things you did under capitalism feel like a
distant dream. Like all the trials you faced were more human than not, and all
the suffering artificially imposed and fulfillment delayed. You will think of
the time you wasted on Reddit and TV and you will weep for your lost years, as
they spiral out of your reach.
The new days are dawning, yet all of the world is still asleep. You slept
walked for a while, but could not get anyone to leap. Alas.
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--- #3 fediverse/4551 ---
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│ CW: mental-health-mentioned-in-relation-to-resisting-capitalism │
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oh no I'm feeling, uh... "depressed" or "manic depressed" or something else,
you pick this time, better go hide and work on organizational technology which
utilizes Risc-V hardware, fediverse software, LLM based anonymization, and
SoCs with multiple ethernet ports, oh nooooo how boring and depressing, if
only someone or several people who were bored and feeling like resisting
capitalism wanted to help out, all they'd have to do is get in touch with me
anyway bye
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--- #4 fediverse/100 ---
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@user-119 @autisticadvocacy I couldn't live with myself if I wasn't the
kindest, most heartfelt person I could be. The simplest mistake has me in
sorrow. When I hurt someone's feelings I can't help but try to rectify what
harms I caused and apologize and console for those I cannot fix. I try to be
gracious and welcoming to all hearts and minds, and when presented with
arguments that are contrary to my beliefs I change them. "If what you say
about X study and Y statistic, then you're right that Z conclusion makes
sense. I'm worried about A cause and I believe it might cause B effect, which
would still make sense if X and Y are true. I think you might be right! And it
would make sense that C is present still, wouldn't it?" Basically trying to
understand another's point of view so concretely that you cannot help but
understand their viewpoints. I'm also pretty good at understanding their
viewpoints and changing their mind, because I can feel what's important to
them. Empathy is like human telepathy.
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--- #5 fediverse/4068 ---
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there will always be people who shine in moments of strife
yet those people will inevitably fail, just as a toothbrush bristle looses
it's strength or a pencil loses it's lead
the trick is to test them in times of peace, so you can know their value
during times that lack it, the trick is to replace them before they become
stalin
never forget that power corrupts, yet power must be wielded by the worthy,
else we fall into shame and despair.
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--- #6 fediverse/795 ---
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│ CW: re: mh- │
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@user-8
I get that. I don't cry anymore except in my imagination. Sometimes it helps
to imagine myself doing it though, like some kind of mental catharsis.
the body gets left out but at least the mind is soothed.
I usually am most upset when I'm lonely. Maybe you could find someone to hold
you close? I hope you feel better sooner rather than later.
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--- #7 fediverse/353 ---
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│ CW: re: Trans yearning hrt-mentioned │
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@user-255
sooooooon, all things in time. Someday you'll be like me - I can't even
remember why I was so upset about that whole "dysphoria" thing. Like looking
back it seems like a minor annoyance, but when I first came out it was all I
could think about. Don't be jealous - just wait! It'll happen to you!
Celebrate the euphoria, I also can't really remember that too well. I'm just
normal now, minus my weekly shot.
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--- #8 fediverse/814 ---
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║ ah that's weird, I don't usually cry. I wonder what's going on. I should │
║ probably put myself on psychiatric drugs. Surely it's an expression of the │
║ implementation of my impending doom. │
║ │
║ ... what are you even saying bro │
║ │
║ ... um, hang on feels like some of the circuitry is off. is something wrong in │
║ my brain? yeah that's surely it, surely nothing I say would resoinate with │
║ anyone that has a non-malfunctioning brain. Surely I don't speak of logical │
║ failures in the hard founded truths of our asset [society I think? like, our │
║ conditions, our institutions, our {gosh that just... does not translate}] um │
║ right what was I saying │
║ │
║ oh yeah there's this game I'm really into called Knave, it's like D&D │
║ except the rules are very fewer. Like there's onyl 11 pages in the rulebook │
║ and it's mostly taken up by random roll tables. Like, everything boings down │
║ to a few simple rules, like rock paper scissors, or go-fish, or something like │
║ that with just afew mechanids. something timeless and pure, something that is │
║ isolated and en │
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--- #9 fediverse/3483 ---
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sometimes I think about how it'll never be yesterday again and that makes me
kinda sad.
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--- #10 fediverse/861 ---
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I can't remember any of my pinky swears. Like, not a single one. I feel like I
could get in trouble if I renounced errr, instead made human mistakes and
forgot information that wasn't relevant anymore. phew that was close, almost a
disaster, anyway how's your lunch?
[that's not fair it's always lunch somewhere on earth]
reality is a form of eternal computation, a continuous re-updating of stored
matter (data). also, values of fields, (like rules and regulations), would
determine the structural complexity and organizational expectencencies.
I miss my family. I miss the past, that can never be revisited, [every time
you remember a memory it writes over it. virtually guaranteeing that you'll
only preserve limited information that slowly degrades. how slowly is up to
you...
once you run out of memories, it's bad news for your life. but GOOD NEWS, that
only happens for certain mental health conditions that primarily target the
elderly. For most people it's a continuous process because you're cared for and
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--- #11 fediverse/219 ---
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│ CW: time-and-death-and-stuff │
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sometimes I feel like I'm a simulation of my past self based on my future
writings reconstructed by a backward looking computer calculating forward into
the present, which would then be the future to the now, which is different
than the NOW now, because the now that they're calculating from is temporally
both then (the future) and now, meaning that the NOW now is something that
transcends time, or perhaps if not time then it defies our expectations of
time, and you know what they say, you can't (or shouldn't) cheat death
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--- #12 fediverse/1381 ---
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│ CW: death-mentioned-nuts-mentioned │
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I'm a bit of a narcissist because I had a lot of... alone time as a kid, and I
was a bit starved for attention.
but I'm also afraid of rejection so if you have anything to say I'll listen
for hours and try to be what you need me to be and give what you need me to
give so that you don't leave me.
Also, nobody has ever hurt me. And so I trust wholely and completely and
absolutely. I get logically why that's not a good move but frankly I'd rather
die than be cooperative. ah nuts better add a content warning.
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--- #13 fediverse/4189 ---
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when people are kind to me, I start feeling sad.
I don't know why.
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--- #14 fediverse/4516 ---
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@user-1074
if anything, depression is a temporary disability, because you can and will
work your way through it.
There will come a day when you find yourself awash in love and contentment, in
righteous determination, and stalwart resolve. Your depression will feel as
distant a memory as the imprints of your chains.
You can start walking toward that day right now. I do believe you already are.
Have faith in yourself, trust your future, honor your past, and find grace in
the hearts of your others.
All this will pass. It gets better. You are stronger than you know, and when
tested you will shine with a furious glow. I see this in you, I know it to be
true, do not forget it and do not relent.
But you will forget it, this I also know, for I have forgotten it many times
before. It will come back, you will get better at that, but it takes time.
Trust.
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--- #15 fediverse/4540 ---
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most people in the world are dumb as a bag of bricks
but that's okay, I still love them, and so should you.
everyone I hang out with is sharp as a tack
and I love them still, for I don't have a preference for blunt objects.
some people don't feel emotions
I think they're just depressed
some people can't stop
won't stop, I say.
really as long as they follow their heart and sing a tune that is true
I think they're alright.
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--- #16 fediverse/4995 ---
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Went outside today for the first time in a week to take out my trash to the
bin. Dunno why but I've been feeling a little down about my apartment, and how
they can just take my home from me because I oh hang on I wrote a poem about
this one sec: [boosts old poem]
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--- #17 fediverse/6250 ---
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Dear my future self: I'm sorry for all the things that I do. I hope you
appreciate the gifts I leave you. Thank you for never giving up, and I trust
you to take care of me and the things I care about. I'm proud of what you've
done with me, and I'm hopeful that one day I'll be just a bit like you.
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--- #18 messages/130 ---
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Last night I dreamt of the gravestones that bore their owner's mind.
I dreamt of a life well lived, and how it was taken from them.
[something more that I forgot because I don't have a prophecy transcriber]
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--- #19 fediverse/510 ---
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@user-246
Thanks, it means a lot. Sometimes I am a little "distant" from reality (like
tonight, tbh) but I generally always am within sight. Meaning I can still
understand what people are saying. My uhhh.... "plan" is to always be vigilant
and look for times when people cannot comprehend what I say - even the most
mundane of things - because if so then surely I am psychotic. At that point
I'll just kinda go along with whatever anyone says, even if it feels like I'm
a cow in a factory farm or whatever my mind might contrive to torture me with.
Thanks for reaching out. Sorry you've lost people. I hope they aren't gone
forever. I hope I don't go forever. We'll see, I guess.
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--- #20 fediverse/3975 ---
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@user-1631
for most of my life... [okay still do]... but it felt like I had different
moods, and depending on how I felt at the time I would act differently.
I forget the things that happen when I'm in a different mood, but I've gotten
to a point where I can generally force myself to stay a certain "mood" while
in certain contexts, and in doing so I can remember everything.
downside is I get burnt out pretty easily if I'm always the same. It's not
ideal.
... anyway if you talk about what you experience then your friends can point
you toward people who "get" you.
like, my parts don't have names, we don't have a group chat or whatever, it's
just... me, but different shades of me.
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