=== ANCHOR POEM ===
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Went outside today for the first time in a week to take out my trash to the
bin. Dunno why but I've been feeling a little down about my apartment, and how
they can just take my home from me because I oh hang on I wrote a poem about
this one sec: [boosts old poem]
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=== SIMILARITY RANKED ===
--- #1 fediverse/4189 ---
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when people are kind to me, I start feeling sad.
I don't know why.
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--- #2 fediverse/3483 ---
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sometimes I think about how it'll never be yesterday again and that makes me
kinda sad.
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--- #3 fediverse/4551 ---
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│ CW: mental-health-mentioned-in-relation-to-resisting-capitalism │
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oh no I'm feeling, uh... "depressed" or "manic depressed" or something else,
you pick this time, better go hide and work on organizational technology which
utilizes Risc-V hardware, fediverse software, LLM based anonymization, and
SoCs with multiple ethernet ports, oh nooooo how boring and depressing, if
only someone or several people who were bored and feeling like resisting
capitalism wanted to help out, all they'd have to do is get in touch with me
anyway bye
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--- #4 fediverse/6018 ---
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I feel so sad, like I'm missing something precious to me... I hope someone
knows who to take it to. Like the world is just a bit darker and more mundane.
ah, well, maybe it's just perception bias. When things leave your timeline
(temporarily or permanently) they take their inertial influence with them.
It's okay to mourn the loss of a friend, of a relic, or an opportunity. So
long as you continue to nurture light, life, and hope wherever you go, the
magic will return and continue to flow. If you believe that, then you know
what faith is. easy enough...
please be worth it
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--- #5 fediverse/1281 ---
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@user-883
okay I'm down
(a little stoned tho, was talking to my soul hehe)
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--- #6 fediverse_boost/5655 ---
◀─╔══════════════════════════════[BOOST]═══════════════════════════════──────────╗
║ ┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐ ║
║ │ I'm crying over the fact, that me, or folks around me aren't capable of organizing jailbreaks. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ And we aren't even trying 😢 │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ I clearly have been taken major wrong steps in my life that I ended where I am now. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ I am sorry. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ Yes sure we say abolish prisons, but without attack it will never materialize. │ ║
║ └────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ ║
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--- #7 fediverse/4079 ---
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"... honestly, it's a little sad"
"yeah, you're not wrong"
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--- #8 fediverse/2939 ---
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"you look like a mess who can't take care of herself"
oh haha that's because I'm a mess who can't take care of herself
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--- #9 fediverse/3487 ---
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@user-1218
I like to have notes for things I found that will be useful someday, but not
today. I also throw in poetry that I write while I'm waiting for something to
happen (or if I have an idea that I know I'll forget)
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--- #10 fediverse/718 ---
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@user-547
That feeling when you get to the end of a paragraph and think "why do I have
this extra parenthesis )? Oh yeah I opened it up waaaaay up here" and then you
reread what you wrote and think
perfect, no notes
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--- #11 fediverse/795 ---
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│ CW: re: mh- │
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@user-8
I get that. I don't cry anymore except in my imagination. Sometimes it helps
to imagine myself doing it though, like some kind of mental catharsis.
the body gets left out but at least the mind is soothed.
I usually am most upset when I'm lonely. Maybe you could find someone to hold
you close? I hope you feel better sooner rather than later.
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--- #12 fediverse/3859 ---
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│ CW: mental-health │
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"it's weird how depressed I am"
says the girl who is always depressed
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--- #13 fediverse/1841 ---
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curling up in a ball and thinking about crying for hours is the same as
crying. If a little bit less of a release.
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--- #14 fediverse/2891 ---
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│ CW: physical-health │
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they're painting the inside of my apartment and it naturally has low airflow
in here and it's seeping under my door and making me woozy teehee better open
all the windows
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--- #15 fediverse/938 ---
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@user-649
same... sometimes it feels like I step on toes that I didn't know existed! I
got tired of walking on egg shells so now I just try and religiously put
content warnings on things that feel intense.
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--- #16 fediverse/4024 ---
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my cat doesn't know that my family is my family. She thinks they're just some
other people who visit the house.
but they're special to me, as all people are, and I think she takes notice.
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--- #17 fediverse/88 ---
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@user-92 I haven't received a single knock, I'm kinda broken up about it : (
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--- #18 fediverse/3932 ---
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@user-889
don't give up!
I know that feeling!
it is defeated with persistence!
don't give up!
you can make it!
there's always tomorrow!
so don't give up!
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--- #19 fediverse/5793 ---
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I posted my words text file all over the c it y today. not sure why. maybe I'm
tired of this course and I don't want to let anyone down? Maybe I don't know
what to do yet. Maybe nobody works with me because everyone's keeping it on
the DL or whateverr?
... anyway enough typing, I'm going to go play a video game. like god intended.
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--- #20 fediverse/5602 ---
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"so wait why can't we go outside again"
"I'm huuuuungry"
girl we just ate
"I'm tired"
girl it's like 10am
"can we snuggle?"
yeah okay.
that's why haha
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--- #21 fediverse/1308 ---
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found some flowers by the garbage today. They brightened my day and floraled
my window. I left some for the others who might want to take them to their
loved ones, of which I have none who might see them. But I did take a few, to
feel loved by myself. Thank you, kind stranger, who did feel fit to grace me
with your bounty. Thank you kind stranger, for this ephemeral beauty. They
smell nice.
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--- #22 fediverse/2424 ---
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if I don't take this job, then I'm going to be homeless.
if I do, then I'll be moving to a different city.
a city that I don't know.
my upbringing tells me that this isn't a choice at all, but...
at least I have a place to keep my stuff. maybe I can find a different job.
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--- #23 fediverse/6027 ---
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some days I feel like someone else's lesson and that can be hard.
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--- #24 fediverse/4000 ---
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@user-889
Don't give up!
At least... not forever.
It's okay to take a breath every once in a while
It's okay to lie down and cry
The only way away from those feelings is through. They've enveloped you. You
need to swallow them whole, like a sponge soaking up dirt[y water]
the only thing you need to think about is what's around you. It's okay to be
alone for a moment, it's the best time to feel.
Remember, feeling is how you know the world! It's your power, to feel, and I
know it's hard. Everyone has different powers, but yours is this.
You'll be okay, I know it
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--- #25 fediverse/4190 ---
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I also feel other things, like compassion and warmth, but... still a little
bit sad.
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--- #26 fediverse/3618 ---
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│ CW: food-mentioned │
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they say fat people are jolly, which makes me wonder if the only reason I'm
often sad is because I'm too skinny.
I need an italian grandma to feed me butter and pasta T.T
eat somethin' why don'tcha you're skin an' bones, kid
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--- #27 fediverse/6042 ---
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my bodyguard leaves me. not that I need one. just... feels comforting
[ooh ooh then what happened next]
my bodyguard leaves me. not that I needed one... just, felt comforting.
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--- #28 fediverse/2986 ---
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│ CW: negative-mental-health-mentioned-police-mentioned-cursing-mentioned │
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I think the reason I feel so lonely is because I don't feel wanted.
people tend to like me, but that just means I'm acceptable to their social
standards.
I don't think I improve rooms that I enter. I think I make them worse.
or maybe I'm just upset because capitalism. When I run out of savings in a few
months, I'm going to kill myself, unless something changes, which I'm sure it
will. Gonna try and say yes to things -
suddenly receives a text message recruiting for uniformed police officers at
the department of homeland security
wait shit I take it back
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--- #29 fediverse/6250 ---
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Dear my future self: I'm sorry for all the things that I do. I hope you
appreciate the gifts I leave you. Thank you for never giving up, and I trust
you to take care of me and the things I care about. I'm proud of what you've
done with me, and I'm hopeful that one day I'll be just a bit like you.
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--- #30 fediverse/4540 ---
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most people in the world are dumb as a bag of bricks
but that's okay, I still love them, and so should you.
everyone I hang out with is sharp as a tack
and I love them still, for I don't have a preference for blunt objects.
some people don't feel emotions
I think they're just depressed
some people can't stop
won't stop, I say.
really as long as they follow their heart and sing a tune that is true
I think they're alright.
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--- #31 fediverse/5136 ---
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not really, I guess. Nobody will hire me because I don't really want to get
hired. Sounds boring, doing the same thing every couple days. I'd rather stay
at home in my [underwear/pajamas] and waste the day away with kittens and
care. why? why? what are you doing? she asks. The less you can do, the more
power will be granted to you. Save it for another time, when things actually
matter.
but today, does, matter, because today dictates your latters. Tomorrow is
predicated. on today. and today is all that you have. [this paragraph in the
style of alec baldwin]
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--- #32 fediverse/4041 ---
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│ CW: mental-health │
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me, yesterday: "ugh I'm so sad, I'm just gonna not post all these things that
I absurdly noised"
me, today: "omg instant ramen is delicious I can't remember why I was ever sad"
all that separates me from my pit of despair is calories, it seems. Empty ones
too! I should probably handle that haha
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--- #33 fediverse/586 ---
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@user-419
the smell of decay is the smell of creation, as life is recycled into that
which gives birth to new forms
so... that smell is probably me, I haven't showered in a while. sorry.
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--- #34 fediverse/353 ---
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│ CW: re: Trans yearning hrt-mentioned │
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@user-255
sooooooon, all things in time. Someday you'll be like me - I can't even
remember why I was so upset about that whole "dysphoria" thing. Like looking
back it seems like a minor annoyance, but when I first came out it was all I
could think about. Don't be jealous - just wait! It'll happen to you!
Celebrate the euphoria, I also can't really remember that too well. I'm just
normal now, minus my weekly shot.
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--- #35 fediverse/3823 ---
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"sometimes I don't want to be optimistic sometimes I just want to complain"
oh yeah well what if I want to be optimistic at all times as a coping
mechanism huh you don't have to agree with me
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--- #36 fediverse/5527 ---
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If you feel bad, maybe you have an iron deficiency!
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--- #37 fediverse/4543 ---
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@user-1698
Ha that does sound pretty "fun" - I take it you aren't a pianist?
I smell bad because... reasons... so I am always hyper-aware of myself when
I'm in situations like that. The idea that I might ruin someone's day by being
there terrifies me.
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--- #38 messages/903 ---
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It's better to cry when sad than to sing a life with a heartful of tears
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--- #39 fediverse/4141 ---
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@user-1268
I often walk to the grocery store, even though it's on the other side of the
highway
also I will walk sometimes to meet people nearby
it's a fun occasion
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--- #40 fediverse/1617 ---
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daydreaming about a gang of tough guys who goes around knocking down the
internal fence walls in suburbia and throwing potlucks for all the neighbors
for a month or two so they have social opportunities to meet each other and
make friends
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--- #41 fediverse/4489 ---
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I miss my cat, but now that it's dark I can go looking for her again. : )
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--- #42 fediverse/4636 ---
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ummmmm yeah the reason I went off hormones 5 weeks ago is totally because I
want to test low so that they bump up my prescription so I can stockpile.
Totally not because I executive dysfunctioned my way into this mess. again.
Almost as if it doesn't happen 3 or 4 times per year -.-
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--- #43 fediverse/2399 ---
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│ CW: food-mentioned │
└──────────────────────┘
Rice has been eaten. I threw a cookie on-top for good measure. I think that
was a good decision.
I'm going to the park. I don't know what I'll find, but I'm sure there'll be
fireworks.
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--- #44 fediverse/2954 ---
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whenever my cat is whining I walk around doing things that she might want
until she stops trying to claw me - oh you want your litter cleaned? yeah sure
I gotchu. oh you wanna go outside? nah okay how about playing with this yarn?
no? okay let's see... oh dear you can see the bottom of your food bowl,
conveniently forgetting the other mostly full food bowl over there... 😅
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--- #45 fediverse/1243 ---
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@user-883
hey sorry for ditching you yesterday, hope you had a good night ^_^
I feel much better today.
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--- #46 fediverse/4227 ---
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I'm wasting time.
face them
my soul tells me
for some reason
I can't stop writing poetry
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--- #47 fediverse/5029 ---
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went on a walk with my dad today. it was fun. took him to various places.
showed off various things. "hey check out where I hangout most weekends" and
"hey don't clean the dishes in my kitchen it's okay" and "don't drive too
fast, this area curves up ahead" and "hey meet my friends from town who you
have something with common with" and "I like this view when it rains" and
"don't forget to go to the bathroom" and "oatmeal is good with carrots and
sharp dried fruits" and "here's my favorite thai place" and "I made this after
I dreamed of you" and "hey wanna hear my product pitch" and "this is my
favorite kind of beer" and "I miss home."
picture unrelated.
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--- #48 fediverse/2919 ---
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│ CW: imaginary-conversation-that-didn't-happen-tee-hee │
└───────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
"you can't be a paladin anymore because you don't practice with your weapon
every day"
I don't have room in my home to practice though : (
"go to the fucking park you weasel"
I don't want anyone to see me swinging a sword around! they might call the
cops, or worse, judge me for it!
"you want judgement eh well just wait until your opponent judges your
swordsmanship lacking then you'll find out what judgement tastes like as he
shoves your entrails down your throat"
I'm sorry I'll practice more T.T
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--- #49 fediverse/4710 ---
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│ CW: politics-mentioned-cursing-mentioned │
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last month I dropped my wallet in Hel and had to ask around to find a new one.
anyway here's some poems I wrote tonight while I try and remember my credit
card number.
![the new section as we will be including new artists work. see below: BUY MEAT [picture of two guys holding meat] capitalism's greatest efficiency was always it's ability to convert time and energy into dollars. there are no other ends, but quite a variety of means. everything from grupon to uber to fandango to multi-level marketing. none of it produces value - value is simply transcribed into another form at the cost of somebody's labor = time x energy they make it so easy to write about capitalism.](/similar-different/media/cafe922b9bffa256.jpeg "the new section as we will be including new artists work. see below: BUY MEAT [picture of two guys holding meat] capitalism's greatest efficiency was always it's ability to convert time and energy into dollars. there are no other ends, but quite a variety of means. everything from grupon to uber to fandango to multi-level marketing. none of it produces value - value is simply transcribed into another form at the cost of somebody's labor = time x energy they make it so easy to write about capitalism.")
!["But what comes next?" wavers the cowed masses as they huddle around their pocket TV's and shudder at the thought of a stranger's gaze. I simply do not care, so long as the needs of the people are met and we can once again rejoice in our shared solidarity. "What if it's worse?" worse than what? Trump? EAT SHIT. [next page] the empire treasures her city states and leaves them to be uninterrupted. Their jeweled culture is a treasure to share and covet, grown to develop and [trade and improve]. a people cherishes their queer people - they show them new ways to be. Just as an artist shares new feelings and a writer shares new thoughts, queers will culturally lead. You don't have to follow. radicals too shine headlights for economics and governance.](/similar-different/media/69d556dfb5d2228a.jpeg "\"But what comes next?\" wavers the cowed masses as they huddle around their pocket TV's and shudder at the thought of a stranger's gaze. I simply do not care, so long as the needs of the people are met and we can once again rejoice in our shared solidarity. \"What if it's worse?\" worse than what? Trump? EAT SHIT. [next page] the empire treasures her city states and leaves them to be uninterrupted. Their jeweled culture is a treasure to share and covet, grown to develop and [trade and improve]. a people cherishes their queer people - they show them new ways to be. Just as an artist shares new feelings and a writer shares new thoughts, queers will culturally lead. You don't have to follow. radicals too shine headlights for economics and governance.")
![queers when pobular society [bluh] [bluh -> meow! (tumor)] [oooooooowah bluh] [REVENGE] [next page] I miss cannabis I missing making [out/art] I miss the things that give me joy I miss the things I've given up, and all the things I once had known I know these things are available, but I'm "too focused" I sleep so much. I feel a shadow of myself.](/similar-different/media/9c1a509307de5646.jpeg "queers when pobular society [bluh] [bluh -> meow! (tumor)] [oooooooowah bluh] [REVENGE] [next page] I miss cannabis I missing making [out/art] I miss the things that give me joy I miss the things I've given up, and all the things I once had known I know these things are available, but I'm \"too focused\" I sleep so much. I feel a shadow of myself.")
![This is [to/the] only way I speak truth. I miss feeling truthful. what if I went wrong forever I miss my newfound spirits, and all of my newfound humors. someday I'll re-imagine but only for all of your years. I yearn to dream [next page] what would you think of the end of the world? would you long for a future protected? what devices would you use, improve, or otherwise make more respected? would you do it if just your [world/word] was at stake? people die every day. what are you gonna do about it? what makes you think "my way or your way" is worse than [buying/bringing] shit in a store?](/similar-different/media/1a156ef8dc856646.jpeg "This is [to/the] only way I speak truth. I miss feeling truthful. what if I went wrong forever I miss my newfound spirits, and all of my newfound humors. someday I'll re-imagine but only for all of your years. I yearn to dream [next page] what would you think of the end of the world? would you long for a future protected? what devices would you use, improve, or otherwise make more respected? would you do it if just your [world/word] was at stake? people die every day. what are you gonna do about it? what makes you think \"my way or your way\" is worse than [buying/bringing] shit in a store?")
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--- #50 fediverse/5173 ---
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│ CW: politics-mentioned │
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I almost said "did you know chickens don't always know which eggs they're
sitting on? They pretty much just share spots and keep all of the flock's eggs
warm"
but then I realized I should first say "did you know that chickens sit on eggs
to keep warm" and I got a little sad because... chickens...
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--- #51 fediverse/4977 ---
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Can't do much from my home place. Gonna walk around a bit. I may first eat
some food or snuggle my cat, we'll see.
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--- #52 fediverse/4486 ---
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gonna go on a walk. my cat is missing because I let her out last night. I'm
worried sick! this morning I almost puked all over my toes.
she'll probably show up when it gets dark. I bet she's hunkered down
somewhere. Ah, well, might as well walk around my neighborhood actively
searching bushes and such. Why not? It's not like I got anything else to do
right now.
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--- #53 messages/130 ---
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Last night I dreamt of the gravestones that bore their owner's mind.
I dreamt of a life well lived, and how it was taken from them.
[something more that I forgot because I don't have a prophecy transcriber]
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--- #54 fediverse/3755 ---
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@user-1071
hehe it was my favorite job I've ever had
downside is... it was hard to get to work every day. I'm not built for
long-term dedicated labor. Maybe I should freelance? idk where to even begin
with that, though.
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--- #55 fediverse/748 ---
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@user-122
each language gives you opportunities to rhyme different concepts when you're
writing poetry.
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--- #56 fediverse/1263 ---
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@user-883
My friends and I decided to hang out for two days in a row, I guess they
aren't tired of me yet hehe - I might be around tonight but I'll let you know!
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--- #57 fediverse/2215 ---
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I'm kind of a hermit, but it's sunday and I have nothing to do, so I'm going
to get lost on my bike today in a city I've lived near for almost 5 years and
really should know better by now.
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--- #58 messages/214 ---
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Gonna take a break from this whole thing. I got a sign that I'm a bad person,
twice. To confirm. I need to change, and since I don't know what I'm just
going to try and do nothing for a bit.
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--- #59 fediverse/5616 ---
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I went on a walk today, it was pretty nice.
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--- #60 fediverse/6094 ---
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whoops, I tripped and fell onto my keyboard and started posting, my bad!
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--- #61 fediverse/3689 ---
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"mom can we have some kirby's air ride"
"sure we have kirby's air ride at home"
the kirby's air ride at home:
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--- #62 fediverse/5698 ---
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you can't rely on me because I can't rely on a part of me being "out" at any
particular moment-event-message.
besides, I'm always tired, because I'm always trying as hard as I can.
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--- #63 fediverse/3436 ---
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@user-579
somehow that doesn't feel any better : (
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--- #64 fediverse/2837 ---
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most people haven't heard of the "thanks for catching that, let's write it
down" move and I really think it's underutilized
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--- #65 fediverse/1844 ---
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║ I got a job offer for a job outside of my state. But I don't want to leave my │
║ home. I feel safe here. I know people. I know the places around me. │
║ │
║ The one perk is that goods and services are easier to acquire, but I don't │
║ need much. I'm fine where I'm at. But where I'm at has rent. │
║ │
║ What a plague is it, that we must suffer for life! │
║ │
║ there's no entry-level jobs for working with our sight. │
║ │
║ only when youre too tired to complain will they let you direct others, or │
║ share creative ideas for fixing the problems you're paid to assuage. │
║ │
║ Alas, that my life had meaning. That my words were better off spoken. Maybe │
║ then Id live as I define, designing a world of my own hearth. │
║ │
║ but if a king lives in decent frugality, are they really so bad for our flock? │
║ │
║ and if a wizard spins tales that are weird to consider, but not much else... │
║ are they better off starved in the dark? │
║ │
║ no-one likes me. computers are paper-weights given light. sure would be nice │
║ if none but the fools went wanting. │
║ │
║ I mean yeah I'd live in a treehouse │
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--- #66 fediverse/1099 ---
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│ CW: @-someone-who-doesn't-listen-/shrug │
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you opened up about your feelings so I started telling you mine. And
apparently that's not a good thing to do when you're feeling negative things.
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--- #67 fediverse/4251 ---
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@user-192
is it weird that I pictured a can of diced tomatoes from Costco sitting in a
salad? strained of course
juicy dressing 🥴
[self indulgent writing, apologies]
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--- #68 fediverse/4068 ---
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there will always be people who shine in moments of strife
yet those people will inevitably fail, just as a toothbrush bristle looses
it's strength or a pencil loses it's lead
the trick is to test them in times of peace, so you can know their value
during times that lack it, the trick is to replace them before they become
stalin
never forget that power corrupts, yet power must be wielded by the worthy,
else we fall into shame and despair.
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--- #69 fediverse/1722 ---
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│ CW: food-mentioned │
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harsh lessons of adulthood - sometimes food is not eaten for the taste, but
rather for how it will make you feel slightly better in the next few days.
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--- #70 fediverse/2067 ---
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@user-910
he doesn't speak from the heart. he speaks what he hears, because he's just
trying to get through each moment. Life weighs heavily on you when you're old
as dirt, and after a while you just sorta start being yourself without caring
about the narrative.
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--- #71 fediverse/2104 ---
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@user-192
oooooo yeah I usually try and reply to my old post with any new information. I
never get the chance to think the same thoughts twice because when I was
younger I had problems with thought-loops where I'd think something like "darn
I could have handled that social situation better" and before you know it I'd
be rocking myself to sleep trying to stop thinking negative thoughts about
myself.
So I broke my brain a little and now I can't think the same thing more than
once, which is part of why it's so hard for me to finish projects. Alas.
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--- #72 fediverse/3833 ---
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there's no such thing as me
all I am is where the wind takes me
I am just a person, and I do all that I can
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--- #73 fediverse/2297 ---
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Lying wide awake at night with things that I want to say drifting through my
mind one by one
getting up to write them down? forgetting them all.
I think I'm just gonna leave my computer online to reduce friction hehe.
up and down, till everyone's in town, maybe I'll nap between tweets.
[they're called toots here, dummy]
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--- #74 fediverse/5360 ---
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another day goes by when I haven't done any programming... oh well
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--- #75 messages/238 ---
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The world does not deserve to bear such a sorrowful one as me
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--- #76 fediverse/1669 ---
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"she has a certain, I don't know what, je ne sais quoi? that I don't know what
to describe as."
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--- #77 fediverse/5452 ---
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│ CW: all-cops-are-bastards-mentioned-personal-ramblings-and-complainings-mentioned │
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I never rest. Not mentally. I find it sooooo much harder to get moving again
once I'm asleep.
But I've been sleeping lately, because it's "good for me" or whatever. Because
I'm "burnt out and need to heal" or something.
Damnit why is it so much harder to stop snuggling someone than it is to pack
up a tent?
I'm like the guy in Hot Fuzz, that one really good movie about cops. oops cops
mentioned one second.
I'm always moving, but, I hardly ever seem to be able to get anything done.
Why is that? Is the work just... endless? Am I ever a slave to my
surroundings? Or am I just cursed with a mortal form, a form destined to toil
in whatever way it finds itself contextualized in?
Maybe I should just stop complaining. Maybe work is it's own reward or
whatever. I don't think I'm depressed anymore, although good luck getting me
to feel any emotions except focus, and the call to intercede on another's
behalf.
I don't have time for this. >.
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--- #78 fediverse/3702 ---
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│ CW: physical-health-mentioned │
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just helped a friend move to a new place in 92` fahrenheit... I am
exHAUSted... and a different friend invited me to a bar T.T
we'll see how I feel after a shower and a nap.
I'm honestly a little delirious teehee
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--- #79 fediverse/112 ---
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I live through the moments where I find a folder of stuff I made that I forgot
about and I can go back and see it for the first time.
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--- #80 fediverse/1259 ---
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@user-895
hi! I'm Ritz Menardi, I'm a little strange. I sometimes post scary things on
here. I try to put content warnings on everything intense, but sometimes it
gets a little out of hand and I forget... I'm also a poet. Spiritual at best,
a little schizophrenic at worse, but at all times I try to be true to myself.
If you don't like the vibes I 100% won't be upset if you unfollow / block me
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--- #81 fediverse/3491 ---
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@user-620
"hey I have an idea let's poke a wounded animal with sharp teeth until it
feels like it's backed into a corner because it's been spending the past
couple years ruminating and telling itself that we want to kill it and it's
children"
it doesn't matter what the truth is - they believe what they want.
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--- #82 fediverse/2529 ---
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│ CW: physical-health-mentioned │
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low key kinda pissed that I fell off my bike. Now the lyrics "though my body
is black and blue dot dot dot" are a lot less condemning -.-
ah, well, maybe it means there's less conflict in my future, which is nice.
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--- #83 fediverse/2211 ---
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║ I know that a normal life is what you wanted. It's what I want, too. But don't │
║ shoot the messenger; they took it once, from you. │
║ │
║ I know you wanted to be happy. You still can be, it's true! Your life is but a │
║ story, and your heart does shine through. │
║ │
║ I know it seems unending. Ive never seen it rain like this monsoon! It seems │
║ to just get worse and worse, every time you turn on the tube. │
║ │
║ It's not something that can be suffered, it's rising past your shoes. But │
║ they're on borrowed time, and Death will soon be repaid his dues. │
║ │
║ They say that when the whole village hates the preacher, his flock becomes a │
║ pack. And frankly I think we're all just a bit sick, of the lies that keep │
║ their sins intact. │
║ │
║ When swallowed by endless traumas, and hope is enshrouded in gloom, there's │
║ not much to work for, except the aversion of our shared doom. │
║ │
║ There are no grand narratives, no great and calamitous struggle. Just the │
║ moments of honored resistance, against a foe too broad to wrestle. │
║ │
║ At least, if you're alone. You're not. │
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--- #84 fediverse/3864 ---
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@user-1218
my ex boyfriend told me to
also I thought it would be a good idea so I could find a job, but now I have
one (sorta) soooo
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--- #85 fediverse/1715 ---
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@user-246
true, but what is a poem if not a silly construction of phrases? Those words
don't belong together, what are you doing! And yet it fills you will a feeling
that the author intended, thus being poetry as a joke.
problem is if everyone says the same joke, it gets kinda... old... hence why
you should express yourself as much as you can.
I wonder if fewer people are "alternative" these days because they all started
hanging out on the internet and trying to differentiate themselves amongst
each other instead of amongst "normal people"? Weird thought, srry haha
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--- #86 messages/1224 ---
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when I go out on walks
before I set out again
I wait until my blisters healed again
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--- #87 messages/177 ---
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There's no potential left of me. I am a husk, a shadow of my former
possibilities. None left to manifest, and so I huddle in the shade of what
once was ambition as I wait for the silence to take hold.
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--- #88 fediverse/4842 ---
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this is what "taking it seriously" looks like to me
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--- #89 fediverse/5750 ---
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I love when I can go on walks... they're soooooo much fun! can see so many
cool people and places and things... alas
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--- #90 fediverse/1999 ---
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sometimes you need to regress in order to move forward from pain
... which is why I dropped out of the "Paladin academy"
no I will not elaborate
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--- #91 fediverse/4554 ---
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│ CW: political-violence-mentioned │
└──────────────────────────────────┘
can't fucking wait till we're done eating the rich and I can go back to a
simple life of playing with my cat, making video games, writing poetry (bad
poetry, but I like it) and hanging out with my friends.
gotta build the social infrastructure to get through this phase first, though.
something something echo chambers exist IRL too
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--- #92 fediverse/4581 ---
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│ CW: re: fedi meta, vague, tangentially related │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
@user-883
this is how our islands become swamps
I'd love to live in a bog, so many bugs.
keep the spiders around, and they could feast on your toes (ouch)
or, hear me out, or, they could spin webs and keep the other bugs out
are you a bug or a girl or a guy or a bug or a girl or a
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--- #93 fediverse/1535 ---
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I only take things that aren't mine if they're in the trash. Or near the
trash. Or in a store.
so weird how the store won't let me leave until I give them some of my
dollars. This quartermaster drives a hard bargain!
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--- #94 fediverse/1040 ---
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┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: food-mentioned │
└──────────────────────┘
so it shall seem that sticks and mud are for me
I say as I sit in my apartment eating rice and beans
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--- #95 fediverse/4853 ---
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│ CW: cursed-scary-mentioned │
└────────────────────────────┘
wanna know how to go underground?
just... don't leave your apartment. let your roommates take out your trash and
buy your groceries. don't open your windows and do nothing for as long as
possible.
hope you got lots of edibles... get in shape, will ya? don't waste the paper
in your journals.
not that I intend to do that or anything, but um. for the red states maybe?
use your best judgement yeah haha
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--- #96 fediverse/851 ---
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@user-599
these are the kinds of things I say to myself all the time. I don't know why,
but it feels true so I think it.
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--- #97 messages/765 ---
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you don't have to write poetry to write notes. The poetics are just practice
for when secrecy is intended.
OR IS IT THE REAL THING? who can say.
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--- #98 fediverse/3879 ---
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@user-1614
yeah haha that's what happens when you spin too fast. Sorry for being loud, at
least I tried my hardest. Too bad I fell on my own, too bad there wasn't
anyone to catch me. That's my fault, it's solely my own, but whose fault is
the mistake of the collective? Oy I'll fall on my ass as many times as it
takes. I'm used to it.
Plus, it wouldn't have worked, and what else am I supposed to do but speak of
the moment? I feel different now.
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--- #99 fediverse/814 ---
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║ ah that's weird, I don't usually cry. I wonder what's going on. I should │
║ probably put myself on psychiatric drugs. Surely it's an expression of the │
║ implementation of my impending doom. │
║ │
║ ... what are you even saying bro │
║ │
║ ... um, hang on feels like some of the circuitry is off. is something wrong in │
║ my brain? yeah that's surely it, surely nothing I say would resoinate with │
║ anyone that has a non-malfunctioning brain. Surely I don't speak of logical │
║ failures in the hard founded truths of our asset [society I think? like, our │
║ conditions, our institutions, our {gosh that just... does not translate}] um │
║ right what was I saying │
║ │
║ oh yeah there's this game I'm really into called Knave, it's like D&D │
║ except the rules are very fewer. Like there's onyl 11 pages in the rulebook │
║ and it's mostly taken up by random roll tables. Like, everything boings down │
║ to a few simple rules, like rock paper scissors, or go-fish, or something like │
║ that with just afew mechanids. something timeless and pure, something that is │
║ isolated and en │
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--- #100 fediverse/4322 ---
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│ CW: poem │
└──────────────────────┘
how cherished is she
that wanders with the
flowers in the garden of eden
under a big tree
her heart she will leave
with all her designs she abandoned
I lay beside them and wander beside her
will she know we miss her horizons
I think she will mind,
if I have resigned,
my fate to a life I will hide in,
oh how I do long for you.
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--- #101 fediverse/2906 ---
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│ CW: death-mentioned │
└──────────────────────┘
I want to live in a world where people die when they're bored instead of old.
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--- #102 fediverse/1219 ---
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@user-883
I might be into that tonight! I'm feeling a little unstable because of life
reasons, so I'm debating doing drugs to feel better. Idk if you want to be
around that kind of thing. =P
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--- #103 messages/915 ---
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uh, anyway, I realized that because of Words I can type into any of my places
(wherever I felt it best suited) and it would still record as a chronological
story. must feel sooooooo schizophrenic, but it's just because I'm viewing
muse as I please.
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--- #104 fediverse/4804 ---
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I love it when wine doesn't work because it "failed to open program.exe"
... okay, can you tell me why it failed?
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--- #105 fediverse/2359 ---
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@user-1248
everyone does, it's natural to rest.
I slept like a rock last night because I rode my bike all day yesterday. Not
ideal, I didn't have any useful dreams!
There's a difference between downtime and freetime. Freetime should be spent
toward something you care about, downtime is time spent recovering from the
things you don't.
I think in a better world, we'd only have freetime. Perhaps then we wouldn't
need to feel so down in our time.
I will use my freetime to build a world where we live as we define, that is my
goal, that is what I care about.
you do you tho 😋
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--- #106 fediverse/2488 ---
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I know how you might be feeling. If you haven't hear from someone you care
about and it's eating you up inside, imagine them succeeding. helps me feel
better.
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--- #107 fediverse/5841 ---
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I find maybe one or two days a week to work on my projects. About one or two
days to be spent publicly. The rest of the time I'm handling myself, my
chores, my girlfriends, and various mundane things.
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--- #108 fediverse/3841 ---
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║ ┌────────────────────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: socialism-recycling-mentioned1 │ │
║ └────────────────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ "I think I'm going to quit my job at the recycling center. Everyone there is │
║ just a little too catty for me. I think they like the verbal sparring but it │
║ just gets a little tiresome after a while." │
║ │
║ oh, sorry to hear that. Well if you still want to help out there's plenty of │
║ work to do. I could set you up at another recycling center nearby too, if │
║ you'd like...? │
║ │
║ "well, I like the idea of universal recycling. It was a little annoying when │
║ people would put food waste in with the clothing donations, and this one time │
║ I found like 8 bags of cat litter inside of a washing machine. Spent like an │
║ hour vacuuming everything out, which... actually wasn't bad. Kinda felt a │
║ little cathartic to clean it so thoroughly." │
║ │
║ "on the other hand I would like to use my mind a bit more, my creative │
║ projects are kinda in a slump so I figure I could use my body at home and my │
║ mind at work. I've been meaning to build a desk out of some spare hardwood I │
║ snagged at work but I haven't gotten around to it." │
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--- #109 fediverse/790 ---
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@user-246
is this... undefined behavior? or does it evaluate to 5 every time it's called?
I find that often my art makes me feel intense emotions, not all of them good.
But sharing those emotions with others is a tricky task (so I've recently
learned) because you can easily overload people with negative feelings - just
because you're feeling bad, doesn't mean you need to make others feel bad.
Perhaps they were already feeling bad, and if you intensely and sharply poke
them with your intense emotions while they're in a vulnerable or safe
state/place... you can hurt them, more than you intended by expressing your
feelings.
balance in all things, as does a wave orbit a central axis so too should our
behavior align toward the direction we'd like to travel.
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--- #110 fediverse/200 ---
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congratulations, you never need to adventure again. your necessities are taken
care of.
ah, but that'd make for a pretty boring life, wouldn't it? perhaps, depending
on your personality type.
but you're not one to stick around doing nothing but eating, drinking, and
being merry.
no, you're an adventurer, you crave excitement and glory. whatever that means
to you...
just make sure a goblin doesn't come across your corpse, they have a VERY
short term memory and a propensity for collecting shiny things. That's just
asking for dragon-bait, and we don't want that in our area, no thank you. This
is a nice neighborhood you see, my neighbors three miles away all agree, so
you can take your magic pocket and see all that you can see... way over
yonder, if you please.
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--- #111 messages/997 ---
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I want a revolution because i want to be at home in my homeland.
Look at me! Be as me! I yearn to tell my friends. But they're too busy being
like themselves.
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--- #112 fediverse/3060 ---
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@user-1441 @user-670 @user-113
thanks. something always does, much to the disdain of my loved ones who are
forced to catch me before I fall. But I literally can't do anything else but
fall. It's like my body is heavier than theirs.
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--- #113 fediverse/376 ---
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@user-281
I'm just a rando but my understanding is that posting on the fediverse is
sorta like writing on the sky, and anyone that wants can read it. I could be
wrong though
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--- #114 fediverse/3130 ---
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"are you helping or hurting?"
I'm speaking. I'm sorry. Some works hurt some and help others.
Honesty and being true to yourself is important, but there's a time and place
for some words.
I'm kinda bad with timing, if you couldn't tell...
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--- #115 messages/433 ---
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What if wind was fake and its really the ghost of the waves from the shore?
What if trees moved on their own, to gesture at the feelings around them? What
if the sky was home to the clouds, and we who look upward are given the treat
to know them?
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--- #116 fediverse/5456 ---
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today I'm gonna paint a house and tomorrow I'm gonna go to the park.
if I can't do that then I'll try tomorrow.
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--- #117 fediverse/2292 ---
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I don't know who needs to hear this after staying up all night driving, but
it's ideal to get where you're going with at least a day to rest. The body can
only do so much, and isn't it better to be fresh?
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--- #118 fediverse/2090 ---
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don't feed bread to birds, it absorbs their stomach acid and expands in their
tummy and makes them feel full when they're not. Then they get confused why
they don't have energy when they need it.
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--- #119 fediverse/2911 ---
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and now for my unrepentant littlespace arc! Look at me I'm SoOoOoOo silLY 🤪
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--- #120 fediverse/2336 ---
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I think I might stay out late tonight. For the past week I've been going home
before dark, but I might stay late tonight.
Tell your friends, maybe you'll see me. Preferably one-on-one, because social
media posts can be filtered both non-and-consentually.
Unless they're sleeping after having driven from a great long ways. They can
sleep. 🥰
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--- #121 fediverse/5934 ---
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┌────────────────────────┐
│ CW: politics-mentioned │
└────────────────────────┘
hello, I am an ant if @, but you can't touch me, because I am a law abiding
citizen.
I have to be, for I am loud.
... okay I stole a movie from the internet at least once.
also when I was 11 I walked out of a store with a keychain in my pocket. I
thought it had a nice texture so I was examining it and then my mom distracted
me and somehow it ended up in my pocket. That night will forever haunt me...
She wouldn't let me take it back...
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--- #122 fediverse/6278 ---
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@user-1429
do something fun and hard like walk to seattle or install linux on a toaster
or write happy notes on post-its and leave them in public places or make art
and leave it in a public place or~
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--- #123 fediverse/4653 ---
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┌───────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: food-mentioned-sleeping-mentioned │
└───────────────────────────────────────┘
phew, just got back from a long nap and I had such a lovely dream! Gonna write
down everything I can remember in my dream journal, will letcha know when I
have something to share.
Also... sorry about the sun. I have no idea if it was worth it because I woke
up quite a bit later. Ah well anyway gotta do some writing, I hope everyone
has a pleasant day. Make sure you eat nutrients and stay hydrated and do your
stretches and work on your posture and all that.
vegetables have minerals, fruits have vitamins, rice-and-beans or meat have
protein, and oils and fats have calories. try and eat a lot of different
colors of veggies and a lot of different colors of fruits (a green fruit and a
green vegetable are not necessarily the same nutritionally)
well brb goodnight gonna drink some water
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--- #124 fediverse/3180 ---
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I love skywriting. it's so cool to see your words fade into dust after being
seen by everyone around.
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--- #125 fediverse/3253 ---
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it's so weird how these days if you don't like someone you can exclude them
from your social life entirely - like, wow... that hurts
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--- #126 fediverse/1001 ---
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┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: cursed-curséd-scary-not-real-u-dont-have-to-read │
└───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
@user-246 @user-473
perhaps that "light touch on reality" is what makes these pieces of art
resonate with me. I think you're beautiful and have a good heart.
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--- #127 messages/418 ---
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Do you think I'm the first person that ever wrote down what they learned while
they were stoned? Of course not. People have been plumbing the depths of their
minds as it pulls closer, then returns, as long as they've known the plant to
be. Something pulls them back, they do not give in to temptation, not
entirely, and so they return to their senses.
Good news, because that "something" that returns them to their place is no
more than the bodily processes which consume and overcome the cannabinoids.
Your body pulls you back, as you float in the astral plane, ever at the whims
of the winds of fate.
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--- #128 fediverse/4470 ---
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to be "rich" is to have more than another.
if you are happy, they are happiness poor.
if you have community, they are alone.
if you have serenity, they are chaotic.
I am rich in very little but fire in my soul.
I have enough in most cases, but I still struggle to pay rent.
I am warmed by the pearl my swirling darkness has coalesced into. It nourishes
me and keeps me aligned.
Never forget your purpose and your truth. It will not abandon you, so long as
you do so too.
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--- #129 fediverse/3302 ---
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"this game is too hard" she whined, as she played on the hardest difficulty
setting
"this game is too long" she pleaded, as she failed to get absorbed by the
story and characters
"this game is too fast" she avoided, as life comes at ya once and then it's
gone
"I'll never get another chance to be who I am right now" she remarked, as she
considered how society is designed not to have the best life, but to extract
labor from us. That's not what our ideal should be, she thinks to me, and I'm
like... bro figure your shit out you're harshing my mellow
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--- #130 fediverse/6122 ---
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I want to drink mai tais on a beach T.T
alas, it's winter, and I'm poor
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--- #131 fediverse/3122 ---
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@user-999
whenever I am, I feel ashamed.
whenever I'm not, I feel guilty.
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--- #132 messages/416 ---
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Do you ever wonder why you can't remember anything after being stoned? Why the
words you write down, oh so profound in the moment, turn to silliness and
illusion upon coming off your high mont-vantage? Of course, dear reader,
because all things are defined in waves.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────┘
--- #133 fediverse/2991 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
okay so if yesterday was a
"everything sucks and I'm the worst ever"
type of day, and today is a
"whatever mom I don't even care"
type of day, that means tomorrow will be a
"I can't believe how absolutely absurd I am"
type of day, and the day after a
"I am indomitable nothing can stop me"
kind of day, with the following being wildcards
... right? here's hoping. I like that trajectory.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #134 fediverse/3770 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────
for every "I was there. I helped make it happen" we need at least a couple "I
was there. I saw the whole thing go down"s because like, nobody's gonna
believe a belligerent, even if they're on the defensive.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────┘
--- #135 fediverse/761 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────
┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: capitalism │
└──────────────────────┘
would be great if all the good people had all the money. Too bad it kinda
feels like the opposite. Huh wonder why that is . . . ?
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────┘
--- #136 fediverse/4509 ---
╔════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────┐
║ okay I know all of my spiritual followers are going to assume it's because I │
║ denounced AI and sacrificed it from my life or something but the truth is that │
║ she came home because of my own dedicated hard work. And a bit of lucky rain. │
║ │
║ My scent is all over my neighborhood. But rain cleanses, and today (well, │
║ yesterday, I haven't slept much tbh) it rained all day. Around 3am this │
║ morning it seemed to have cleared up a bit, so I walked in a straight-ish line │
║ to her last known location (about 2 blocks away) and then one block more. I │
║ walked back-and-forth several times, trying to spread my scent down near her │
║ nose-level where she could smell it by touching lampposts trees and such. I │
║ rubbed my fingers in my arm-pits every once in a while because I figured it │
║ might help. │
║ │
║ All of my prayers and my thoughts and my psychic rituals did NOTHING to solve │
║ my problem. No amount of despair or longing brought my kitty back to me. │
║ │
║ You know what did? │
║ │
║ I thought about it, I created a method, and I stuck to it. Thats it. ttyl │
╟─────────┐ ┌───────────┤
║ similar │ chronological │ different │
╚═════════╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────┴──────────┘
--- #137 fediverse/1026 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
need ability to search my own profile so I can find things I once said and say
them again without having to write a new poem about it. especially alt-text...
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────┘
--- #138 fediverse/3119 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
┌─────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: weird-way-to-think-about-it │
└─────────────────────────────────┘
when I get up,
I feel as if
if I got up
my bones would leave my flesh behind
to look for work to find
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────┘
--- #139 fediverse/4810 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────
I can type my thoughts 1000x more coherently than I can speak them. Hence why
I post here.
feels useless to speak 1on1 - feels insular to speak to a group. Hence why I
speak here, which is totally public that anyone might see, and somehow I feel
so much more productive engaging in an endless conversation with myself.
you can't win a war by walking in circles...
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────┘
--- #140 fediverse/5636 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────
I think it's ironic how I ended up posting a "things I almost posted"
screenshot directory somewhere other than where I almost posted them.
and all they saw were the outtakes.
I bet they'd see a completely different point of me,
but they never talk to me
so they don't know me.
oh well, alas, it's fine I'm sure I'm being designed.
who can say, I am but at productive play, please react so I can do ongoing
story. I learn from each and every encounter I encounterate.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────┘
--- #141 fediverse/3975 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
@user-1631
for most of my life... [okay still do]... but it felt like I had different
moods, and depending on how I felt at the time I would act differently.
I forget the things that happen when I'm in a different mood, but I've gotten
to a point where I can generally force myself to stay a certain "mood" while
in certain contexts, and in doing so I can remember everything.
downside is I get burnt out pretty easily if I'm always the same. It's not
ideal.
... anyway if you talk about what you experience then your friends can point
you toward people who "get" you.
like, my parts don't have names, we don't have a group chat or whatever, it's
just... me, but different shades of me.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
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--- #142 fediverse/1351 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────
@user-521
people say that kind of thing when they feel alone. maybe "wake up" is another
way to say "find me"
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────┘
--- #143 fediverse/1762 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
This was the first bash script I ever wrote.
It's been updated a little, it was a bash alias first, but this is what it
looks like now.
Kinda shows what kinds of problems I needed to solve most.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────┘
--- #144 fediverse/222 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────
┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: underwear-mentioned-also-i'm-not-a-fan-of-showers-tbh │
└───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
whenever I take a shower I look like a wet cat for the rest of the day. I feel
like a wet cat for the rest of 5ever though.
why must I baaaathe! don't you know I'm self cleaning? I change my underwear
at least twice a day! darn society and their darn proclivities to
ultra-sensitive noses that somehow pick up on me but somehow fail to notice
the scent of flowers still in bloom or morning showers gone too soon
not that there's any flowers blooming where I live. that'd just be silly heh
heh sweats nervously
damn now I have to take ANOTHER SHOWER stupid sweat glands stupid pheromones
stupid dead skin buildup (sebum I think it's called?) stupid oils that stain
clothes - AND THAT'S ANOTHER THING who decided that laundry was important
enough to wear something ONCE and then never again? it's like they expect you
to wash it or something. ugh I don't have time for that, I need to be weird on
the internet.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────┘
--- #145 fediverse/6051 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
I wish I could go outside and see how things are going.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────┘
--- #146 fediverse/5300 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────
how do I keep finding myself here. it's like I wake up in some new fingers and
think "woh, vavadane" and then start itching my bored keys.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────┘
--- #147 fediverse/3366 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
I don't know who needs to hear this, but if your friend sends you a paragraph
you don't have to respond with a paragraph.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────┘
--- #148 messages/169 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────
Sorry for my behavior. I am an undiagnosed scizophrenic, so I'm wrestling with
metaphorical demons. Sorry for attempting to interact with society, I get a
little lonely sometimes.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────┘
--- #149 fediverse/5129 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────
@user-1698
I am a strange person, which is why I live in the strange city for strange
people.
though recently it's gotten a lot more liberal. Kinda sucks. I miss the
anarchist vibes.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────┘
--- #150 fediverse/2123 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
Every time you see the same dog being dog-sat by another person it's an
opportunity to make a new friend.
or do you not know your apartment neighbors? do they not wander through your
shared yards?
the ones with dogs, at least.
and no, I don't know many of my neighbors.
these are considerations to be taken note of for future forethought planning.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #151 fediverse/6321 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────
"hey. wanna stretch with me? oh, whatever you want. I'll be doing my own
thing."
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────┘
--- #152 fediverse/1225 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
@user-883
don't worry I can sift through junk. I'll write my own using yours as a
reference to debug why mine isn't working. "oh probably because I didn't do
this part here"
also, bad news. Guess I'm doing C programming. What should I make? I'm
thinking Tic Tac Toe or maybe a really basic Asteroids or something
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #153 fediverse/723 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
Honestly if anyone wanted to just... take any of my stuff, even if they were
just going to sell it, I'd probably give it to them? People in my life say I
don't function well in a capitalist society. I guess I just trust everyone
equally.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────┘
--- #154 fediverse/3426 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────
┌────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: death-of-a-family-member-mentioned │
└────────────────────────────────────────┘
my grandpa died. now I have none.
I realized I miss old people. I miss their friendly culture.
I realized I hadn't talked to him for a decade or so. He didn't know I
transitioned.
I wonder if he missed me. I realized he missed seeing who I became. Is it
unfair of me to not give him the opportunity to know me? truly?
... I am quite different now than I was 10 years ago. He probably doesn't
remember.
I miss him, but I hardly knew him. I don't like that feeling.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────┘
--- #155 fediverse/5748 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────
...zzzZZZzzz...
whyyyyyy am I so sleeeeepy oh yeah it's this human form, I gotta feed it and
water it and rest it and take care of it and it's totally worth it
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────┘
--- #156 fediverse/2095 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
Sometimes it's okay to be sloppy if you're having fun!
Just... clean up after yourself when you're done 😉
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────┘
--- #157 fediverse/1818 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
my previous job didn't do anything to harm me. And yet I left. I let them down
in a way they could not have expected. Which was unfair of me, but I couldn't
resist it. I don't know what I'd do better.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────┘
--- #158 fediverse/100 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────────
@user-119 @autisticadvocacy I couldn't live with myself if I wasn't the
kindest, most heartfelt person I could be. The simplest mistake has me in
sorrow. When I hurt someone's feelings I can't help but try to rectify what
harms I caused and apologize and console for those I cannot fix. I try to be
gracious and welcoming to all hearts and minds, and when presented with
arguments that are contrary to my beliefs I change them. "If what you say
about X study and Y statistic, then you're right that Z conclusion makes
sense. I'm worried about A cause and I believe it might cause B effect, which
would still make sense if X and Y are true. I think you might be right! And it
would make sense that C is present still, wouldn't it?" Basically trying to
understand another's point of view so concretely that you cannot help but
understand their viewpoints. I'm also pretty good at understanding their
viewpoints and changing their mind, because I can feel what's important to
them. Empathy is like human telepathy.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────┘
--- #159 fediverse/2499 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
┌─────────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: gender identity │
└─────────────────────────┘
@user-1218
I do this sometimes... I'm sorry it just rhymes so well T.T
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────┘
--- #160 fediverse/3605 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────
I think I'm okay no matter my own fate
I think I'm okay.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────┘
--- #161 fediverse/1431 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────
┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: spirituality-generic-kooky-dookerie-psychosis-schizophrenia-mentioned │
└───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
if you haven't spend hours wondering if you're god, the antichrist, a
cognitohazard, the future president of the world, a target of aliens / the
CIA, or any other number of common delusions... then congratulations you're
probably not crazy
but odds are you aren't magic, either.
... ehhhh "wonder" is a strong word, more like "know, trust, and believe"
much better to be a witch I believe, someone with the "teehee" kind of magic
than someone compelled to destroy humanity through the reactions of others to
the actions of the self that are impossible to resist or fully control.
BRB I'm going to leave my apartment to get groceries, leaving my door unlocked
because that's what I always do, surely it'll be empty when I return. Surely.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────┘
--- #162 fediverse/3834 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────
┌────────────────────────┐
│ CW: politics-mentioned │
└────────────────────────┘
some people prepare for revolution like a boy gets ready for a party
others do so like a girl packing for a weekend trip to vegas
I do it like a kid who forgot the paper was due on monday in 7th period and so
spends their entire lunch period writing it (missing 4th in the process
because the conclusion paragraph was giving me difficulty)
but I think no matter how you do it, we're all just waiting for something to
happen.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────┘
--- #163 fediverse/3856 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────
I'm tired of working as hard as I can and still ending up wrong
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────┘
--- #164 fediverse/5169 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────
if you ever find yourself in a situation where you have to describe everything
that you do,
leave that situation
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────┘
--- #165 fediverse/1119 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
@user-823
which is why I find it difficult to take them in the morning =P
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────┘
--- #166 fediverse/1152 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
@user-258
wha... ya'll think I'm cool? Nobody's ever said that before (
[that's not true people have told me that before]
{though not recently heh I think you're cool too}
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────┘
--- #167 fediverse/2524 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: personal │
└──────────────────────┘
nixed my job offer today because something told me to stay in town.
called my ex-boyfriend an asshole today, so he's probably not going to keep
paying my rent.
sold the shares of stock that my grandfather gifted me as inheritance, so I'm
no longer a capitalist I guess.
at least my elbow doesn't hurt anymore. I didn't get outside today but I
cleared a lot of blockers for the coming tomorrows.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────┘
--- #168 fediverse/5201 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────
@user-192
is okay, girl
time will be richer sooner
don't poop your pants just yet
remember, good is just a shade of gray away from silver which you can use to
line your pockets with tinfoil hats
beep boop computer touchers anonymous called they said they want their secret
handshake back
if you wanna diss your associates go ahead but I sure as heck love my rad-ical
com-patriots just as much as I love my ice-cream salad friend witches
... whoops there I go being insane again, hope you feel better friend
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #169 fediverse/4524 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
┌───────────────────────┐
│ CW: chatGPT-mentioned │
└───────────────────────┘
phew that takes a load off my mind : )
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────┘
--- #170 fediverse/6396 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────
have you ever considered
that you are on the same team as your allies
why are you making things difficult?
are you worth the difficulty?
I am
But I work as hard as I can
as long as I can
"self care" deprecation
"resting" lazy
"relaxing" unmotivated
none of these apply
I'm cooling down
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───┘
--- #171 notes/what-are-breakups-for ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-
listen... if you break up with a friend, OF COURSE you should cry.
OF COURSE you'll be sad.
it's okay.
it's natural. it's human.
don't feel sad about the pain. feel the pain.
brb getting smashed
(okay but please put some clothes on)
-.- fine
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-
I can't fucking relax
the only thing I can think of is defeating fascism
this fucking sucks
I just want to cry about my boyfriend of what, 6 years??
jeez
like.... yeah I'm flawed
*of course* I'm flawed
I'm a human being
humans are imperfect
... ugh
er, sorry, "bleurg"
I'm going to eat a burrito
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-
alright ate an edible. 20mg. had 2 beers. that's enough for me.
see ya soon. I swear to you, I will be there tomorrow. and every day
henceforth.
... unless I'm taking a day off, like yesterday, which TBH was probably not
ideal.
I swear I'll be better.
there are no false starts, only probing strikes.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────┘
--- #172 fediverse/1445 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────
I miss university because of all the gay people I could hang out with.
I guess I must be lonely.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────┘
--- #173 fediverse_boost/5566 ---
◀─╔═════════════════════════════[BOOST]═══════════════════════════════───────────╗
║ ┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐ ║
║ │ We have to figure out how to take care of each other and fight alongside one another which means we have to actually, like, listen to each other. │ ║
║ └────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ ║
╠─────────┐ ┌───────────╣
║ similar │ chronological │ different ║
╚═════════╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───┴───────╝─▶
--- #174 messages/1156 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─
The first and most important thing i do when I'm walking around is check to
see if ya'll are still around. I miss your abounds! Can't wait too much
longer. I don't want to leave because i know I'll never come home. But i so
desperately long for home. It's like they are taken from me, as they have to
schedule these homes and [stories, but pronounced tomes/tones] to be home for
my clones. If you just make 15-500 of your kings, you can duplicate their life
template and generate wisdom from all of them. Feed it into the psychic python
program running on datacenters and wowee free instant [cultural technology,
but pronounced blasphemy]
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #175 fediverse/2041 ---
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@user-1049
I haven't heard of that but I'll look into it! Honestly I'm more likely to
write my own script, it shouldn't be too hard just altering the /etc/hosts
file and then changing it back in ~15 minutes with a cron-job, as Nikky says
down below. I like things that I make myself because then if it breaks I know
who to blame! And who to go to to fix it. >: )
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
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--- #176 fediverse/169 ---
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@user-95 one of the most empathetic people I ever met on VR chat was consoling
me with their mic off while I was oversharing about some stupid things people
did to me in the past. things that stupid me thought were okay and actively
encouraged because I was stupid. anyway when their mic was off their body
language spoke for them. I'll try that next time.
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--- #177 notes/once-and-again ---
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once and again, she went walking with a friend,
away and up and down, out from the edge of our town
they climbed up to a tree and there they could see
far and away in the light of the day
he said to her then, this is all there is to see
the land where we are
and the sky from afar
how perfect is the, form of a cloud she could see
but now it's along and beyond her
a camera for she, and an eye for she
as their two feet did bring her to wander
under a big tree where my heart did believe
that something was pulling her yonder
"take naught from this scene, as our minds reconvene,
and no-one was going to remember"
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--- #178 fediverse/1957 ---
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I might let you down, but I'll never betray you.
... I'm letting someone down right now. I'm sorry.
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--- #179 messages/1031 ---
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Sorry for the melodrama... Sometimes ya just gotta work stuff out. I talked to
a spiritual man and he helped me feel. I love feeling! Thanks guy : )
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--- #180 fediverse/1075 ---
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│ CW: bones-flesh-mentioned-spirituality-dreams │
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we succeed not because of our trials, but in spite of them.
they cannot own us, for we are but bones in the flesh
every day yet denied us is another day until our bright future
"oh, but why are you homeless? [in the near future, maybe, we'll see] That
fate is reserved for your [unwanted/incapable/undesired/incongruent, I forget
the actual words]"
well, voice in my head that suffused me with magic and warmth and whisked me
away in a dream to a bubble-reality where my actions are meant to reflect me,
surely your appraisal is just? I worked with my partner, I was swallowed
neither by lust, nor greed, nor hunger, [greed in this case being fulfillment]
and yet I awoke when I went to my sister rather than a doctor. Dreams are hard
to unravel, but I think it was more for your benefit than mine, wouldn't you
say?
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--- #181 fediverse/1609 ---
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│ CW: mh- │
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@user-1043
I have intrusive thoughts almost constantly that take over my train of thought
and make it difficult to focus. Like suddenly I'm thinking about something
completely different, and I realize no, it wasn't suddenly, I actually just
stood there and thought
and then I think "what was I thinking again?" sometimes when I write these
strange uncontrollable spirals down it makes poetry. Which is kinda neat I
guess. Sometimes I just wonder about how DNS can be a singular point of
failure in our networking infrastructure or whatever haha
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--- #182 fediverse/2596 ---
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│ CW: re: politics-fascism-sexual-assault-mentioned │
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I get it. I don't care to live in a world like this. Consider this a suicide
note, though I will not die by my own hand. This I swear.
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--- #183 fediverse/2392 ---
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│ CW: re: physical health negative │
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@user-1259
you poor thing : (
stay in the shade if you're outside. If your stomach starts feeling worse,
spend time at home. That's what it's there for.
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--- #184 fediverse/2811 ---
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this is the world I want to live in and I'm not even kidding
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--- #185 fediverse/5374 ---
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@user-138
me neither... guess it's in-person for me.
[a mysterious "they" then proceeds to set up microphones everywhere I might go]
ah nuts why are all these people carrying phones around
[they already know who I am, and I don't really want to be someone else, so]
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--- #186 fediverse/4037 ---
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I dream of a home where I don't have to worry about people who might hear the
noises I make
... and that includes secret government microphones hidden in the walls, thank
you very much.
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--- #187 fediverse/4014 ---
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I don't know about you, but "trying my hardest" involves giving up sometimes.
How else are you to know your limits if you don't test your boundaries? And,
after finding that there's nowhere else for you to go, you turn around and
"give up", until you're ready for your next expedition.
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--- #188 fediverse/3936 ---
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you shouldn't trust me because I'll let you down.
I would never betray you. But when tasked with my own actions and my own
agency, I never make the right choice.
Like a rabbit who can always find their way home, I am drawn, almost
gravitically, to the path before me, a path which seems to avoid anything
resolute.
alas.
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--- #189 fediverse/1967 ---
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If I don't write the ENTIRE PROGRAM in one sitting, then it's never getting
done. Sorry, future self, you're going to die penniless and alone because I
couldn't continue what you started.
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--- #190 fediverse/4744 ---
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│ CW: cat-mentioned │
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me to my cat: "don't eat so much that you puke, okay?"
me to me: "yeah I can take on another task, I'm almost done with this one and
then I'll just do that one and maybe this one'll get back to me at the same
time as this one which conflicts with this other thing so maybe I'll just
puke, okay?"
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--- #191 fediverse/5460 ---
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if you sit down to write and nothing comes to mind, then either nothing needs
to be said or maybe you should spend time reading instead.
... okey dokey, time to read I guess.
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--- #192 messages/304 ---
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Relax.
Take it from me.
I won't resist, at least I'll try, and if I start suddenly then it hurts and
you should go slower. Unless I do three short, three long, three short.
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--- #193 fediverse/5800 ---
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... I feel fine actually
[weren't you just extremely happy?]
heh yeah feelings are experts at changing
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--- #194 fediverse/2489 ---
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│ CW: uspol │
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in peacetime, one may live as they define. they can be kooky and precious and
beautiful and kind. sometimes, though, that opportunity is taken away, and
suddenly life fades from view and all you are left with is perfect clarity.
I'd like to clarify why I feel the way I do about the situation at hand.
there are three reasons, so I think I'll put them in five posts, including
this one.
[1/5]
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--- #195 fediverse/215 ---
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@user-95 i've only hung out with a moth once and it was kind of while my cat
was mauling it, oops... they're very cool though so I picked that one too. Fox
was my main answer
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--- #196 fediverse/3842 ---
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│ CW: socialist-future-ramblings │
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"back in my day this dense urban housing area was just houses as far as the
eye could see... which wasn't far because there were houses in the way, but
you get the idea."
uhhuh yeah that sounds like it would have taken a lot of time to walk anywhere
"yes that's true! we ended up driving cars to do our grocery trips. It was a
little wasteful but I kinda liked the feeling of driving a car? It became
normal after a while but now that driving is rarer I still miss it."
well the motion simulators at the mall have a driving sim, we could spend some
time there if you want? I'm busy for the next week because I have an intensive
D&D session in the mountain that lasts from monday to wednesday and
thursday through friday I'm visiting my mom down in skoodedlypawsonville, and
saturday and sunday I'm working at my job which doesn't pay me because why
would it, right? but I'm free after that.
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--- #197 fediverse/4259 ---
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source code should be like a story
"here's why we did what we did with our architecture"
and as it's being written, it may be altered in many different places at once
- git style.
parts of it could rhyme,
if they wanted to show parts that were really difficult but easy to summarize
because it's mostly just a lot of boring work y'know like writing getters and
setters and doing the testing pre-deploy environments
,,, they could selectionize
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--- #198 fediverse/6302 ---
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I was going to go to location today, but then while I was considering going to
a different location before going to location I decided not to vacate my home
for today for reasons I don't understand but accept as natural and due to the
increased presence of directionless motion that guides and prevails me. which
is to say... I'm staying in tonight even though I really really wanna show off
my cute new outfit! I probably will do cannabis so there might be a
psycherwaul. If there isn't, then y'know it's probably because either my
girlfriend distracted me, or I managed to convince myself to move my feet
anyway. Maybe it's my outfit? I wonder if I could leave if I wore my old
clothes... ah well, questions for the vocal I guess. Gonna spend some time
divining and see if I can gather new insights. "brb door" except more like
"brb magic"
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--- #199 fediverse/3437 ---
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│ CW: re: mental-health-minus │
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@user-579
my problem is figuring out which thoughts are intrusive and which are actually
mine
I usually err on the side of "would you want your sister to do this" or "how
would you feel if your mom told you that" or "do you think a cute sweet soft
cat would ever think such a thing" and that usually works.
usually.
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--- #200 fediverse/1362 ---
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@user-192
it suddenly became relevant in your life for a different reason and you wanted
to share it again to see if anyone wanted to talk about it so you could
explain your feelings and see perspective from someone who's maybe approaching
the same or similar thing from a slightly different angle?
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