=== ANCHOR POEM ===
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 Went outside today for the first time in a week to take out my trash to the
 bin. Dunno why but I've been feeling a little down about my apartment, and how
 they can just take my home from me because I oh hang on I wrote a poem about
 this one sec: [boosts old poem]
I am not interested in being given money. Usually it means someone wants something from me, like labor or some of my stuff. I have all the stuff I need, why would I need more money? I like my stuff! I'll help out when people need help but I do that because I'm a good person, not because I want you to fucking pay me for it.  I have all the things I need... except a deed to my house. apartment. oh yeah, they can kick you out for that sin. well, sorry, I couldn't find out at goodwill or in the trash bin, so I guess I'm deed-less. My deeds go unproven. How can I prove that I deserve a decent life in this particular roof, the one I find over my head, when I cannot prove that my deeds qualify me for a decent life lived under this particular roof?  I mean, did you ask the neighbors if they want me gone? Am I really that smelly? Does my keyboard make "clickety-clack" noises all through the night? Does my cat meow and bother the children? Do my friendly smiles and waves make you uncomfortable?  Have a decent life.
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=== SIMILARITY RANKED ===

--- #1 fediverse/4189 ---
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 when people are kind to me, I start feeling sad.
 
 I don't know why.
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--- #2 messages/1336 ---
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 Somehow, it feels like nobody is all that interested in me. Like nobody wants
 me, that they want me to disappear and stay hidden.
 
 This is of course just dark whispers trying to be purified by me. Surely,
 surely that must be so.
 
 Maybe I'm depressed. This happens sometimes.
 
 Maybe I'm feeling threatened. This happens sometimes, especially when things
 are uncertain. Is this the day when my food will be poisoned? Is tomorrow when
 i get kicked out of homeschool? Maybe I forgot something important yesterday
 but I can't recall whether I'm at liberty to recall.
 
 Maybe I'm feeling lonely.
 
 I am feeling lonely.
 
 Yep that's probably it.
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--- #3 fediverse/3483 ---
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 sometimes I think about how it'll never be yesterday again and that makes me
 kinda sad.
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--- #4 fediverse/4551 ---
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 ┌─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: mental-health-mentioned-in-relation-to-resisting-capitalism │
 └─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 oh no I'm feeling, uh... "depressed" or "manic depressed" or something else,
 you pick this time, better go hide and work on organizational technology which
 utilizes Risc-V hardware, fediverse software, LLM based anonymization, and
 SoCs with multiple ethernet ports, oh nooooo how boring and depressing, if
 only someone or several people who were bored and feeling like resisting
 capitalism wanted to help out, all they'd have to do is get in touch with me
 
 anyway bye
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--- #5 fediverse/6018 ---
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 I feel so sad, like I'm missing something precious to me... I hope someone
 knows who to take it to. Like the world is just a bit darker and more mundane.
 
 ah, well, maybe it's just perception bias. When things leave your timeline
 (temporarily or permanently) they take their inertial influence with them.
 It's okay to mourn the loss of a friend, of a relic, or an opportunity. So
 long as you continue to nurture light, life, and hope wherever you go, the
 magic will return and continue to flow. If you believe that, then you know
 what faith is. easy enough...
 
 please be worth it
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--- #6 fediverse/1281 ---
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 @user-883 
 
 okay I'm down
 
 (a little stoned tho, was talking to my soul hehe)
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--- #7 fediverse_boost/5655 ---
◀─[BOOST]
  
  I'm crying over the fact, that me, or folks around me aren't capable of organizing jailbreaks.   
                                                                              
  And we aren't even trying 😢                                                 
                                                                              
  I clearly have been taken major wrong steps in my life that I ended where I am now.   
                                                                              
  I am sorry.                                                                 
                                                                              
  Yes sure we say abolish prisons, but without attack it will never materialize.  
  
                                                            
 similar                        chronological                        different 
─▶

--- #8 fediverse/4079 ---
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 "... honestly, it's a little sad"
 
 "yeah, you're not wrong"
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--- #9 fediverse/2939 ---
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 "you look like a mess who can't take care of herself"
 
 oh haha that's because I'm a mess who can't take care of herself
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--- #10 messages/1352 ---
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 My girlfriend buys me diapers and food. She has occasionally given me small
 gifts, but nothing more than what i would give to her.
 
 I'm not some silver spoon prince. I'm barely getting by. I feel suffocated at
 home and drowning when I'm out and about. Sometimes I don't know whether
 staying alone or going out is more strain, so usually I just fall asleep to
 the tune of my swirling black thoughts.
 
 Save me! Surrender me! Give me all that you own! I do not waste things.
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--- #11 fediverse/3487 ---
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 @user-1218 
 
 I like to have notes for things I found that will be useful someday, but not
 today. I also throw in poetry that I write while I'm waiting for something to
 happen (or if I have an idea that I know I'll forget)
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--- #12 fediverse/718 ---
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 @user-547 
 
 That feeling when you get to the end of a paragraph and think "why do I have
 this extra parenthesis )? Oh yeah I opened it up waaaaay up here" and then you
 reread what you wrote and think
 
 perfect, no notes
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--- #13 fediverse/795 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: mh-          │
 └──────────────────────┘


 @user-8 
 
 I get that. I don't cry anymore except in my imagination. Sometimes it helps
 to imagine myself doing it though, like some kind of mental catharsis.
 
 the body gets left out but at least the mind is soothed.
 
 I usually am most upset when I'm lonely. Maybe you could find someone to hold
 you close? I hope you feel better sooner rather than later.
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--- #14 fediverse/3859 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: mental-health    │
 └──────────────────────┘


 "it's weird how depressed I am"
 
 says the girl who is always depressed
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--- #15 fediverse/1841 ---
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 curling up in a ball and thinking about crying for hours is the same as
 crying. If a little bit less of a release.
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--- #16 fediverse/2891 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: physical-health  │
 └──────────────────────┘


 they're painting the inside of my apartment and it naturally has low airflow
 in here and it's seeping under my door and making me woozy teehee better open
 all the windows
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--- #17 fediverse/938 ---
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 @user-649 
 
 same... sometimes it feels like I step on toes that I didn't know existed! I
 got tired of walking on egg shells so now I just try and religiously put
 content warnings on things that feel intense.
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--- #18 fediverse/4024 ---
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 my cat doesn't know that my family is my family. She thinks they're just some
 other people who visit the house.
 
 but they're special to me, as all people are, and I think she takes notice.
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--- #19 fediverse/88 ---
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 @user-92 I haven't received a single knock, I'm kinda broken up about it : (
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--- #20 fediverse/3932 ---
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 @user-889 
 
 don't give up!
 
 I know that feeling!
 
 it is defeated with persistence!
 
 don't give up!
 
 you can make it!
 
 there's always tomorrow!
 
 so don't give up!
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