=== ANCHOR POEM ===
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 My girlfriend buys me diapers and food. She has occasionally given me small
 gifts, but nothing more than what i would give to her.
 
 I'm not some silver spoon prince. I'm barely getting by. I feel suffocated at
 home and drowning when I'm out and about. Sometimes I don't know whether
 staying alone or going out is more strain, so usually I just fall asleep to
 the tune of my swirling black thoughts.
 
 Save me! Surrender me! Give me all that you own! I do not waste things.
                                                            similar                        chronological                        different════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════┘

=== SIMILARITY RANKED ===

--- #1 fediverse/4540 ---
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 most people in the world are dumb as a bag of bricks
 
 but that's okay, I still love them, and so should you.
 
 everyone I hang out with is sharp as a tack
 
 and I love them still, for I don't have a preference for blunt objects.
 
 some people don't feel emotions
 
 I think they're just depressed
 
 some people can't stop
 
 won't stop, I say.
 
 really as long as they follow their heart and sing a tune that is true
 
 I think they're alright.
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--- #2 fediverse/4024 ---
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 my cat doesn't know that my family is my family. She thinks they're just some
 other people who visit the house.
 
 but they're special to me, as all people are, and I think she takes notice.
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--- #3 fediverse/4470 ---
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 to be "rich" is to have more than another.
 
 if you are happy, they are happiness poor.
 if you have community, they are alone.
 if you have serenity, they are chaotic.
 
 I am rich in very little but fire in my soul.
 
 I have enough in most cases, but I still struggle to pay rent.
 
 I am warmed by the pearl my swirling darkness has coalesced into. It nourishes
 me and keeps me aligned.
 
 Never forget your purpose and your truth. It will not abandon you, so long as
 you do so too.
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--- #4 fediverse/1669 ---
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 "she has a certain, I don't know what, je ne sais quoi? that I don't know what
 to describe as."
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--- #5 fediverse/1381 ---
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 ┌────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: death-mentioned-nuts-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────────────────┘


 I'm a bit of a narcissist because I had a lot of... alone time as a kid, and I
 was a bit starved for attention.
 
 but I'm also afraid of rejection so if you have anything to say I'll listen
 for hours and try to be what you need me to be and give what you need me to
 give so that you don't leave me.
 
 Also, nobody has ever hurt me. And so I trust wholely and completely and
 absolutely. I get logically why that's not a good move but frankly I'd rather
 die than be cooperative. ah nuts better add a content warning.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #6 fediverse/5136 ---
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 not really, I guess. Nobody will hire me because I don't really want to get
 hired. Sounds boring, doing the same thing every couple days. I'd rather stay
 at home in my [underwear/pajamas] and waste the day away with kittens and
 care. why? why? what are you doing? she asks. The less you can do, the more
 power will be granted to you. Save it for another time, when things actually
 matter.
 
 but today, does, matter, because today dictates your latters. Tomorrow is
 predicated. on today. and today is all that you have. [this paragraph in the
 style of alec baldwin]
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--- #7 fediverse/3058 ---
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 @user-1441 @user-670 @user-113 
 
 currently toe-ing the boundary between "too neurodivergent to function" and
 "can juuuuust barely take care of themselves" and they ask me to get a job...
 no thanks, guess I'll die
 
 (in 3-4 months when my savings run out)
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--- #8 fediverse/3437 ---
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 ┌─────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: mental-health-minus │
 └─────────────────────────────┘


 @user-579 
 
 my problem is figuring out which thoughts are intrusive and which are actually
 mine
 
 I usually err on the side of "would you want your sister to do this" or "how
 would you feel if your mom told you that" or "do you think a cute sweet soft
 cat would ever think such a thing" and that usually works.
 
 usually.
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--- #9 fediverse/5201 ---
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 @user-192 
 
 is okay, girl
 
 time will be richer sooner
 
 don't poop your pants just yet
 
 remember, good is just a shade of gray away from silver which you can use to
 line your pockets with tinfoil hats
 
 beep boop computer touchers anonymous called they said they want their secret
 handshake back
 
 if you wanna diss your associates go ahead but I sure as heck love my rad-ical
 com-patriots just as much as I love my ice-cream salad friend witches
 
 ... whoops there I go being insane again, hope you feel better friend 
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--- #10 fediverse/1431 ---
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 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: spirituality-generic-kooky-dookerie-psychosis-schizophrenia-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 if you haven't spend hours wondering if you're god, the antichrist, a
 cognitohazard, the future president of the world, a target of aliens / the
 CIA, or any other number of common delusions... then congratulations you're
 probably not crazy
 
 but odds are you aren't magic, either.
 
 ... ehhhh "wonder" is a strong word, more like "know, trust, and believe"
 
 much better to be a witch I believe, someone with the "teehee" kind of magic
 than someone compelled to destroy humanity through the reactions of others to
 the actions of the self that are impossible to resist or fully control.
 
 BRB I'm going to leave my apartment to get groceries, leaving my door unlocked
 because that's what I always do, surely it'll be empty when I return. Surely.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #11 fediverse/5698 ---
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 you can't rely on me because I can't rely on a part of me being "out" at any
 particular moment-event-message.
 
 besides, I'm always tired, because I'm always trying as hard as I can.
                                                           ───────────┐
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--- #12 fediverse/824 ---
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 I once heard that time doesn't pass when you're well and truly in the moment,
 and I thought "that's not true, I'm always losing track of the moment".
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--- #13 notes/exhaustion ---
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 Three hikes, two boat rides, two weeks. I'm exhausted
 Mon, Sep 8, 2025
 Ms. Menardi
 You should not, generally, spend time in places covered in bird poop or poison
 oak. You should also avoid abandoned wooden structures or old fallen logs,
 because spiders. Also, don't spend too much time on islands made of sand. They
 wash away as you step on them, as erosion takes its toll. Plus permanence is
 impossible in your structures. Not ideal in any sense - build on rock.
 Sat, Sep 13, 2025
 Ms. Menardi
 until you find people you can trust,
 you are your own scout.
 Sun, Sep 14, 2025
 Ms. Menardi
 A humble princess would say: I don't need the best, i just need my favorite.
 Mon, Sep 15, 2025
 Ms. Menardi
 I want a revolution because i want to be at home in my homeland.
 
 Look at me! Be as me! I yearn to tell my friends. But they're too busy being
 like themselves.
                                                           ─┐
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--- #14 messages/1046 ---
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 I'm not here for fame. Or power. I'm here to make sure things get done. That
 they get better. When i am unneeded, i am home. If you want me, pull me forth.
 If you need me, I'm already there. Fate guides me, and i know i will be
 deployed when necessary. Compel me or dispel me, up to you. I personally just
 like being around. I like feeling my stuff, knowing it true. Trust me when i
 say, i am here for you.
                                                           ──────┐
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--- #15 fediverse/4730 ---
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 I am not interested in being given money. Usually it means someone wants
 something from me, like labor or some of my stuff. I have all the stuff I
 need, why would I need more money? I like my stuff! I'll help out when people
 need help but I do that because I'm a good person, not because I want you to
 fucking pay me for it.
 
 I have all the things I need... except a deed to my house. apartment. oh yeah,
 they can kick you out for that sin. well, sorry, I couldn't find out at
 goodwill or in the trash bin, so I guess I'm deed-less. My deeds go unproven.
 How can I prove that I deserve a decent life in this particular roof, the one
 I find over my head, when I cannot prove that my deeds qualify me for a decent
 life lived under this particular roof?
 
 I mean, did you ask the neighbors if they want me gone? Am I really that
 smelly? Does my keyboard make "clickety-clack" noises all through the night?
 Does my cat meow and bother the children? Do my friendly smiles and waves make
 you uncomfortable?
 
 Have a decent life.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #16 fediverse/4744 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cat-mentioned    │
 └──────────────────────┘


 me to my cat: "don't eat so much that you puke, okay?"
 
 me to me: "yeah I can take on another task, I'm almost done with this one and
 then I'll just do that one and maybe this one'll get back to me at the same
 time as this one which conflicts with this other thing so maybe I'll just
 puke, okay?"
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #17 fediverse/1535 ---
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 I only take things that aren't mine if they're in the trash. Or near the
 trash. Or in a store.
 
 so weird how the store won't let me leave until I give them some of my
 dollars. This quartermaster drives a hard bargain!
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #18 fediverse/4521 ---
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 I have between one and ten hundred visits to my website every day, but I don't
 really post it anywhere new anymore. I also have zero followers on Neocities.
 
 On Mastodon, I have ~70 followers, most of whom are inactive. Seventy is a
 good amount, a normal amount, a reasonable amount, an unsuspicious amount, and
 yet every time I see someone wearing the colors I can't help but wonder if
 they know me.
 
 I'm too busy being furious to be lonely. I used to be, before I realized how
 important I am. How important? Just as much as you are, I know it.
 
 I'm a sprinter. I didn't spec into endurance at character creation. Nobody
 chastises the mage for skipping leg day.
 
 I act in fits and bursts. I am sharp like a scalpel, but needles dull just a
 bit when piercing the lid of the HRT. Good thing I'm not made out of metal, I
 can bend myself back into place, so long as everyone else can keep pace.
 
 I don't know who needs to hear this, but you do. you are crucial. Listen to
 this. Care for yourself and for others, do it for u
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #19 fediverse/4014 ---
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 I don't know about you, but "trying my hardest" involves giving up sometimes.
 
 How else are you to know your limits if you don't test your boundaries? And,
 after finding that there's nowhere else for you to go, you turn around and
 "give up", until you're ready for your next expedition.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #20 fediverse/5650 ---
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 I exist now at the height of my gluttony.
 
 I need more to be demanded of me.
 
 I am not afraid to ask for help.
 
 I solve other people's problems before my own.
 
 I have very little insight into my habits and patterns.
 
 My memory isn't great, but I recall details that matter.
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