=== ANCHOR POEM === ════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────── ┌──────────────────────────────────────┐ │ CW: re: Trans yearning hrt-mentioned │ └──────────────────────────────────────┘ @user-255 sooooooon, all things in time. Someday you'll be like me - I can't even remember why I was so upset about that whole "dysphoria" thing. Like looking back it seems like a minor annoyance, but when I first came out it was all I could think about. Don't be jealous - just wait! It'll happen to you! Celebrate the euphoria, I also can't really remember that too well. I'm just normal now, minus my weekly shot. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────┘ === SIMILARITY RANKED === --- #1 fediverse/3823 --- ═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────── "sometimes I don't want to be optimistic sometimes I just want to complain" oh yeah well what if I want to be optimistic at all times as a coping mechanism huh you don't have to agree with me ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────┘ --- #2 fediverse/3238 --- ═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────── ┌──────────────────────┐ │ CW: personal-health │ └──────────────────────┘ I'm not an ABDL, but I can appreciate the aesthetic sometimes because I share a particular kinship with them due to a medical condition I have and have had. Plus throw in a bit of Body Integrity Identity Dysmorphia and you get my messed up relationship to my own physical struggles. ah, well, what can you do except be open and honest about who you are and what you believe? If only it wasn't so damn hard. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────┘ --- #3 fediverse/2991 --- ═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────── okay so if yesterday was a "everything sucks and I'm the worst ever" type of day, and today is a "whatever mom I don't even care" type of day, that means tomorrow will be a "I can't believe how absolutely absurd I am" type of day, and the day after a "I am indomitable nothing can stop me" kind of day, with the following being wildcards ... right? here's hoping. I like that trajectory. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────┘ --- #4 fediverse/6018 --- ══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────── I feel so sad, like I'm missing something precious to me... I hope someone knows who to take it to. Like the world is just a bit darker and more mundane. ah, well, maybe it's just perception bias. When things leave your timeline (temporarily or permanently) they take their inertial influence with them. It's okay to mourn the loss of a friend, of a relic, or an opportunity. So long as you continue to nurture light, life, and hope wherever you go, the magic will return and continue to flow. If you believe that, then you know what faith is. easy enough... please be worth it ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────┘ --- #5 fediverse/3975 --- ══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────── @user-1631 for most of my life... [okay still do]... but it felt like I had different moods, and depending on how I felt at the time I would act differently. I forget the things that happen when I'm in a different mood, but I've gotten to a point where I can generally force myself to stay a certain "mood" while in certain contexts, and in doing so I can remember everything. downside is I get burnt out pretty easily if I'm always the same. It's not ideal. ... anyway if you talk about what you experience then your friends can point you toward people who "get" you. like, my parts don't have names, we don't have a group chat or whatever, it's just... me, but different shades of me. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────┘ --- #6 messages/1336 --- ══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─ Somehow, it feels like nobody is all that interested in me. Like nobody wants me, that they want me to disappear and stay hidden. This is of course just dark whispers trying to be purified by me. Surely, surely that must be so. Maybe I'm depressed. This happens sometimes. Maybe I'm feeling threatened. This happens sometimes, especially when things are uncertain. Is this the day when my food will be poisoned? Is tomorrow when i get kicked out of homeschool? Maybe I forgot something important yesterday but I can't recall whether I'm at liberty to recall. Maybe I'm feeling lonely. I am feeling lonely. Yep that's probably it. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════┘ --- #7 fediverse/1061 --- ═══════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────── ┌────────────────────────────────┐ │ CW: violence-cursing-mentioned │ └────────────────────────────────┘ Fuck, I wish I was a man. Stupid transgender brain quirks making me feel like I was a girl. Boys can punch things much easier than me. Oh to inject estrogen! How soft mine skin, how delicate my mammaries - and yet fucking hell all I want to do is punch things. Maybe it's just because things deserve to be punched, or maybe it's because I'm listening to Green Day. If it weren't so late I'd make some angsty music or whatever. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────┘ --- #8 messages/1068 --- ═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────── why would they psyop me? there's a psyop about me! heck, I've never done so as I pleased. that's an aspiration. everything I do is at a command, whether it's my own or external. these days I find myself following my own. mostly. though I am always waiting for collaboration opportunities. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────┘ --- #9 fediverse/1082 --- ═══════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────── ┌─────────────────────────────────────┐ │ CW: mental-health-cursing-mentioned │ └─────────────────────────────────────┘ damn, I'm a pretty cool person. I wish I could hang out with me. Like, for all my flaws (what even are they ? ? ?) I'm still pretty awesome. I'm proud of me! Thank you parents, for raising me as such! Thank you past me, for making the decisions that you did! Also, fuck you past self, for making those OTHER decisions. You know the ones I'm talking about. No, that's not an excuse, it's all your fault and you're awful and everything about you sucks. Wait, hang on, wasn't I feeling happy to be here? Wasn't I just excited to live in the moment? Wasn't I just thinking about how: "all you have are good things, nothing here is bad" ? ? ? well, I still love you, even if you're a little "all over the place". [rereads post] hell yeah you ARE a cool person, yes you are, such a good cool person, yes yes yes, what a good girl you are oh my goodness :D :D :D ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────┘ --- #10 fediverse/4000 --- ══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────── @user-889 Don't give up! At least... not forever. It's okay to take a breath every once in a while It's okay to lie down and cry The only way away from those feelings is through. They've enveloped you. You need to swallow them whole, like a sponge soaking up dirt[y water] the only thing you need to think about is what's around you. It's okay to be alone for a moment, it's the best time to feel. Remember, feeling is how you know the world! It's your power, to feel, and I know it's hard. Everyone has different powers, but yours is this. You'll be okay, I know it ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────┘ --- #11 fediverse/1152 --- ═══════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────── @user-258 wha... ya'll think I'm cool? Nobody's ever said that before ( [that's not true people have told me that before] {though not recently heh I think you're cool too} ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────┘ --- #12 fediverse/861 --- ══════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────── I can't remember any of my pinky swears. Like, not a single one. I feel like I could get in trouble if I renounced errr, instead made human mistakes and forgot information that wasn't relevant anymore. phew that was close, almost a disaster, anyway how's your lunch? [that's not fair it's always lunch somewhere on earth] reality is a form of eternal computation, a continuous re-updating of stored matter (data). also, values of fields, (like rules and regulations), would determine the structural complexity and organizational expectencencies. I miss my family. I miss the past, that can never be revisited, [every time you remember a memory it writes over it. virtually guaranteeing that you'll only preserve limited information that slowly degrades. how slowly is up to you... once you run out of memories, it's bad news for your life. but GOOD NEWS, that only happens for certain mental health conditions that primarily target the elderly. For most people it's a continuous process because you're cared for and ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────┘ --- #13 fediverse/3766 --- ═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────── ┌───────────────────────────────────────┐ │ CW: personal-medical-health-mentioned │ └───────────────────────────────────────┘ gonna ask my doctor for ADHD meds so I can hopefully jump-skip framebuffer divebomb spinadoodle half A press my way over the fucking labyrinth that is my weird and jank af mind and no I don't watch speedruns but my social group hears me a lot of them. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────┘ --- #14 fediverse/5208 --- ════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────── ┌──────────────────────────────────┐ │ CW: capitalism-suicide-mentioned │ └──────────────────────────────────┘ Look, when I promised "Revolution or Death" I got pretty busy and kinda forgot to do the "dying" part, and by now it'd be a little awkward if I offed myself for no visible reason, so... How about we try again this summer? Maybe in a month or two? I'll try to keep the fire burning a bit longer this time. plus I'm better at playing the piano now so maybe that'll help somehow. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────┘ --- #15 fediverse/814 --- ╔══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────┐ ║ ah that's weird, I don't usually cry. I wonder what's going on. I should │ ║ probably put myself on psychiatric drugs. Surely it's an expression of the │ ║ implementation of my impending doom. │ ║ │ ║ ... what are you even saying bro │ ║ │ ║ ... um, hang on feels like some of the circuitry is off. is something wrong in │ ║ my brain? yeah that's surely it, surely nothing I say would resoinate with │ ║ anyone that has a non-malfunctioning brain. Surely I don't speak of logical │ ║ failures in the hard founded truths of our asset [society I think? like, our │ ║ conditions, our institutions, our {gosh that just... does not translate}] um │ ║ right what was I saying │ ║ │ ║ oh yeah there's this game I'm really into called Knave, it's like D&D │ ║ except the rules are very fewer. Like there's onyl 11 pages in the rulebook │ ║ and it's mostly taken up by random roll tables. Like, everything boings down │ ║ to a few simple rules, like rock paper scissors, or go-fish, or something like │ ║ that with just afew mechanids. something timeless and pure, something that is │ ║ isolated and en │ ╟─────────┐ ┌───────────┤ ║ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╚═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────┴──────────┘ --- #16 fediverse/3117 --- ═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────── ┌──────────────────────┐ │ CW: cursed-uspol │ └──────────────────────┘ hey. wanna know what would be really cursed? -- if trump dropped out and musk took his place -- good thing it'll never happen because those dinguses can't accept defeat and will never tactically retreat -- maybe something to keep in mind for 4 years from now. eyes on the prize for now means our eyes aren't to our flanks. what else could they do that would come out of left field? ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────┘ --- #17 fediverse/2104 --- ═════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────── @user-192 oooooo yeah I usually try and reply to my old post with any new information. I never get the chance to think the same thoughts twice because when I was younger I had problems with thought-loops where I'd think something like "darn I could have handled that social situation better" and before you know it I'd be rocking myself to sleep trying to stop thinking negative thoughts about myself. So I broke my brain a little and now I can't think the same thing more than once, which is part of why it's so hard for me to finish projects. Alas. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────┘ --- #18 fediverse/2562 --- ══════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────── ┌──────────────────────┐ │ CW: rich-apologia │ └──────────────────────┘ among all the others, I want a wonderful and fulfilling life for the socialite. they deserve light just as you and I might. "eat the rich" bruh there's like, 100 people who are running the show. everyone else is basically just a syncophant who's trying to get ahead and stay working. then there's like their families and such and like... they didn't do anything wrong, they just eat cheese and wine and laugh at memes all day with their besties. they are basically pets ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────┘ --- #19 fediverse/1399 --- ╔═══════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────┐ ║ ┌───────────────────────────────────┐ │ ║ │ CW: cursing-mentioned-eye-contact │ │ ║ └───────────────────────────────────┘ │ ║ │ ║ │ ║ If you're worried about passing, take what you're good at and make it gay. │ ║ │ ║ Do you wear band t-shirts and black jeans? Great you're an emo girl now, │ ║ totally reasonable transitionary state before you end up as a cute anime girl │ ║ with spinny uwu dresses or whatever your heart desires │ ║ │ ║ do you generally stick to jeans and sweatshirts? Okay congrats you're just as │ ║ cute, don't feel inadequate just because you like being comfy. Hell yeah │ ║ you're cute as fuck, you know you are, I mean just look at that smile! Wow damn │ ║ │ ║ like, switch the gender, not the vibe. not only will other people be cool with │ ║ it but also, like, you won't alter the course of your trajectory. │ ║ │ ║ unless that's what you want, but TBH if you're both enigmatic AND phlegmatic │ ║ [EDIT: but like the opposite of phlegmatic, I always get the definition wrong] │ ║ then you can change a lot and people won't rely on you to be a certain way. │ ║ │ ║ ... you know you can delete things before you post them, right? Ha I've never │ ║ even heard of the word. │ ╟─────────┐ ┌───────────┤ ║ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╚═════════╧════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────┴──────────┘ --- #20 fediverse/2536 --- ══════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────── @user-1074 if you're anything like me, then it will happen again. It's okay. A friend won't judge you, a friend would forgive you. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────┘ |