=== ANCHOR POEM ===
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
 okay so if yesterday was a
 
 "everything sucks and I'm the worst ever"
 
 type of day, and today is a
 
 "whatever mom I don't even care"
 
 type of day, that means tomorrow will be a
 
 "I can't believe how absolutely absurd I am"
 
 type of day, and the day after a
 
 "I am indomitable nothing can stop me"
 
 kind of day, with the following being wildcards
 
 ... right? here's hoping. I like that trajectory.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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=== SIMILARITY RANKED ===

--- #1 fediverse/3437 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────
 ┌─────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: mental-health-minus │
 └─────────────────────────────┘


 @user-579 
 
 my problem is figuring out which thoughts are intrusive and which are actually
 mine
 
 I usually err on the side of "would you want your sister to do this" or "how
 would you feel if your mom told you that" or "do you think a cute sweet soft
 cat would ever think such a thing" and that usually works.
 
 usually.
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--- #2 fediverse/5157 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────┐
 "everything sucks and I'm not okay"                                              │
 okay, but, it's okay. we're all in the "everything sucks" mode. we'll get        │
 through it together. Okay, so, what can we do to make things better? what's      │
 the solution to this issue over here? do you know anyone who can do              │
 such-and-such, gosh it seems like the biggest problems people have are they      │
 don't have enough time or they don't have enough roof for a money. which will    │
 you trade? will you do one then another? maybe one way suits you, maybe you'd    │
 prefer the other. either way, pentacles, swords, cups, and... the other one      │
 (she's a bad witch as in she's bad at being a witch which means she witches in   │
 bad ways and should be kept from punishment but instead guided toward where      │
 she was wrong so she might improve upon it)                                      │
 that is to say, it's okay that you're not okay. I don't know who needs to read   │
 this but just know that it's not so sad when everything's bad, because you're    │
 just trying to do the best thing for the moments.                                │
 does anyone wanna make a movie about me? I can be the                            │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #3 fediverse/1317 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────┐
 ... if I don't do this deadline by tomorrow they'll kick me out of school.       │
 again.                                                                           │
 how am I going to be a programmer without a degree? feels useless to be me.      │
 wish I could code my own horoscope >.>                                           │
 o wait dummy that's called "motivation" and "the ability to follow through on    │
 your ideas and planned machinations" - yeah can I get some of that, if you       │
 please? surely just a taste of discipline, through laboring to alter             │
 conditions, surely a bit would suffice.                                          │
 c'mon don't fail me now. I can do this. I know I can. I know because I've been   │
 told that I can, now and again through time and time yet again, always I seem    │
 to [stack overflow]                                                              │
 what's time if not the present amiright                                          │
 ...                                                                              │
 anyway...                                                                        │
 it's just git, how hard could it be? it's just calculus, it's just java, it's    │
 just... well, it's not any of those things, not really. it's memorization,       │
 it's application of tools that you've been shown (not that you've grown). It's   │
 a lack of responsibility, where is my honor? ah but I digress, I'm a carpenter   │
 at heart I guess                                                                 │
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--- #4 fediverse/4540 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
 most people in the world are dumb as a bag of bricks
 
 but that's okay, I still love them, and so should you.
 
 everyone I hang out with is sharp as a tack
 
 and I love them still, for I don't have a preference for blunt objects.
 
 some people don't feel emotions
 
 I think they're just depressed
 
 some people can't stop
 
 won't stop, I say.
 
 really as long as they follow their heart and sing a tune that is true
 
 I think they're alright.
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--- #5 fediverse/5853 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────
 everyone's all like "everything sucks" but I'm feeling confidence and a kind
 of... externalized vigor? that's sweeping me off my feet. We'll see what
 tomorrow brings, in the general sense.
                                                           ───────┐
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--- #6 fediverse/3117 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cursed-uspol     │
 └──────────────────────┘


 hey. wanna know what would be really cursed?
 
 --
 
 if trump dropped out and musk took his place
 
 --
 
 good thing it'll never happen because those dinguses can't accept defeat and
 will never tactically retreat
 
 --
 
 maybe something to keep in mind for 4 years from now. eyes on the prize for
 now means our eyes aren't to our flanks.
 
 what else could they do that would come out of left field?
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--- #7 fediverse/5334 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────
 ┌───────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cursing-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────┘


 every value judgement is a "hell yeah!" from those who already agree with you
 and a "aw fuck off" from those who don't.
 
 this is probably either a good or a bad thing, who can say.
 
 if you don't take a stand, nobody will like you, but if you aren't careful,
 you'll poison your well of support.
 
 "why can't it be easy" because then it'd be done.
                                                           ───────────┐
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--- #8 fediverse/5329 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────
 ┌─────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: the-world-mentioned │
 └─────────────────────────┘


 trying my best not to think about communism too much right now. Mostly because
 I'm waiting for everyone to catch up... when the day comes when people stop
 saying "based" and leaving it at that, then I'll make more theory. But as a
 consequence of my queer nature I shall deliver such things in the form of an
 insane twitter post on the fetlifeverse.
 
 the world waits with bated breath in the eye of the storm. Nobody knows whats
 coming, and everyone prays that it's nothing [short of revolution]
 
 ... I should probably go back to sleep, I just had to wake up and write about
 linux or whatever...
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #9 fediverse/4654 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────
 ┌────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cannabis-and-other-drugs-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────────────────────┘


 gonna quit drugs for a bit, gotta recover from a recent haste spell that I
 cast. Probably a bit earlier than intended I should add. Next time I'll
 definitely say "keep this in your back pocket" instead of "hey here's a haste
 spell for no reason at all" like what the heck were you even thinking, powers
 that be?? [that guide me??]
 
 who has power over you? If someone bears responsibility but not fault for a
 mental illness, then surely those who are set to a task bear responsibility
 for it's completion if not for it's ideation. Ah, who can say, maybe me from a
 year ago might have some thoughts but I sorta ground them into the dirt until
 I couldn't walk.
 
 [girl what are you even talking about go to sleep] yeah yeah okay
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #10 fediverse/4526 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: mental-health    │
 └──────────────────────┘


 most people get intrusive thoughts like "punch that baby" or "drink some
 gasoline"
 
 my intrusive thoughts are like "who is she" and "we need you" and "lead us"
 and "their strength is imagined" and stuff like that
 
 gosh I don't know how ya'll handle it I'd be dead in a ditch if I was
 neurotypical.
 
 ... intrusive thoughts are not typical
 
 ah. Right. Nevermind then.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #11 fediverse/1157 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: personal-woe     │
 └──────────────────────┘


 oh no, apparently I'm gonna be forced to drop out of university again in 9
 days unless I do half a course and a final exam before then.
 
 Tell me again why I spent the last 6 months doing nothing? Oh yeah the mental
 illness, that's it. Yeesh you're such a drama queen, just do your work and
 you'll be good.
 
 what's that? intrusive thoughts time? Don't you mean "nap until they go away"
 time? oh yeah that's probably at least part of the problem with the whole
 "dropping out" thing.
 
 If only I didn't have the same reaction to "doing things I don't want to do"
 that most people have to "touching hot stoves", that'd be nice.
 
 my mother's voice ripples across space and time "you're such a smart boy, if
 you just apply yourself you can do anything! You can do anything you put your
 mind to. I believe in you and I love you." thanks mom
 
 brrrrr it's so cold here. wish I could afford to run the heater. - actually no
 I don't because it's not solar powered and I refuse to use fossil fuels if I
 have blankets >.>
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--- #12 fediverse/1950 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
 I honestly don't care if someone deadnames me, or calls me the wrong pronouns,
 or forgets to put me in the girl section, or asks me to sing baritone
 
 like... I don't give a shit, why are you so worried about all this vapid
 nonsense like yeah I get it, being disrespected sucks but like... why do you
 want the kind of respect that is a forced platitude
 
 we could all do with being a bit more radical, it's not a race and everyone's
 roles are important. Be yourself, and follow people you want to be like.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #13 fediverse/2352 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: pol              │
 └──────────────────────┘


 Nobody will tell you what to do, at least not until you ask. Be where they can
 see you, and you'll be given a task. If you can do it, say "BRB" - one moment,
 let me handle that for you.
 
 If you can't, say "good luck", and they'll find someone else who can.
 
 It's okay to pass a task off - if someone says "Here's what I need, gotta go"
 then you say "sure, yeah, I'll get someone on it" - then, go find someone to
 do it.
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--- #14 messages/303 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────
 Most of my magic is based on communicatuion. Why the fuck doesn't anyone want
 to sit down on a bunch of drugs and attempt to figure out telepathy with me?
 It's literally all I want! Though I can't say it's all I'll ever want. I'm
 sure I'll want more, but like... It's not that hard, conceptually, so... Let's
 just fucking try it please?
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #15 fediverse/4486 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
 gonna go on a walk. my cat is missing because I let her out last night. I'm
 worried sick! this morning I almost puked all over my toes.
 
 she'll probably show up when it gets dark. I bet she's hunkered down
 somewhere. Ah, well, might as well walk around my neighborhood actively
 searching bushes and such. Why not? It's not like I got anything else to do
 right now.
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--- #16 fediverse/4098 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
 ┌────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-mentioned-ableism │
 └────────────────────────────────┘


 ngl I kinda hate it when people meme about donald trump being incontinent
 
 like, yeah, he pees his pants, so what? I DO TOO. Fucking sucks. Every time I
 read people saying nasty things about it I can't help but read them in my own
 voice, and that gives me plenty of ammunition to use against myself when I'm
 feeling down.
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--- #17 fediverse/549 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: pol-socialism    │
 └──────────────────────┘


 ngl I kinda want to see what conservatives would riot over in a socialist
 system. Like "oh no we have healthcare! that sucks, so I'm going to burn down
 a police station" like bro what your basic needs are met and you're encouraged
 and enabled to pursue your passions and personal desires, are you still hung
 up on that old capitalist stuff? get a life my guy that's soOoOoOo 21st
 century of you
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #18 fediverse/219 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: time-and-death-and-stuff │
 └──────────────────────────────┘


 sometimes I feel like I'm a simulation of my past self based on my future
 writings reconstructed by a backward looking computer calculating forward into
 the present, which would then be the future to the now, which is different
 than the NOW now, because the now that they're calculating from is temporally
 both then (the future) and now, meaning that the NOW now is something that
 transcends time, or perhaps if not time then it defies our expectations of
 time, and you know what they say, you can't (or shouldn't) cheat death
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--- #19 fediverse/4179 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
 okay, so, you could spend the next couple hours scrolling social media
 
 or you could go for a walk in the rain
 
 ... is it raining where you're at? I forget. Ah well whatever. You could go
 for a walk, whether or not it's in the rain, which surely would be a better
 use of your time. What are you gonna find on social media that you'll remember
 in a week? Hell, what will you remember tomorrow?
 
 my mother used to tell me that "television rots your brain" and, yeah, social
 media counts for that too. Thanks mom. I miss you.
 
 ... I could just call you, but it's the middle of the night for you. And
 probably for me, I guess, WINK
 
 in any case there's little to do today that can't wait for tomorrow. So why
 not go on a walk? Even if nothing happens, especially if nothing happens,
 it'll be good for you.
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--- #20 fediverse/834 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────┐
 wonder if any autistic peeps can relate:                                         │
 growing up, my mom would chastise me for doing "the bare minimum" when           │
 completing tasks.                                                                │
 yes, mom, I fulfilled the requirements of the task. I have a lot of other        │
 things to attend to, like remembering how to tie my shoes and measuring things   │
 using a ruler. why would I waste effort that wasn't necessary?                   │
 when I grew up, I had a mentor, who told me to "never half ass things, because   │
 then someone like me will have to do it again."                                  │
 and that makes sense to me because context switching requires effort and it      │
 doesn't make sense to leave something half-finished because then there's         │
 wasted effort spent on things that don't matter. All of the tasks have to get    │
 done, so why bother doing them in a mixed up order?                              │
 wish I could study things in school like that. just... focusing on one thing     │
 at a time, learning it to completion, and moving on to the next. I feel like     │
 I'd develop a better understanding than only knowing like, 1/3rd of CPR or       │
 very vague understandings of plate tec                                           │
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--- #21 fediverse/4744 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cat-mentioned    │
 └──────────────────────┘


 me to my cat: "don't eat so much that you puke, okay?"
 
 me to me: "yeah I can take on another task, I'm almost done with this one and
 then I'll just do that one and maybe this one'll get back to me at the same
 time as this one which conflicts with this other thing so maybe I'll just
 puke, okay?"
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--- #22 fediverse_boost/6155 ---
◀─[BOOST]
  
  If I were a person with an irresponsible streak, I could be so problematic.   
                                                                              
  I could say things like, "wow, let's spend some time generating traffic that sounds like coded military speak over not-quite-secure channels between fanciful antifa units, to help stymie AI surveillance", for instance.   
                                                                              
  Or social media messages that are "accidentally" not made to friends-only filters wherein you mention your concerns about the upcoming operation in "some fictional place" for you and your antifa buddies.   
                                                                              
  You know, that kind of really irresponsible suggestion could lead to some creaive thinking! And that in turn could mean we could come up with enough traffic to make it very difficult to auto-sort noise from signal? Imagine how dangerous that could be for the enemies of antifa, our beloved US government (for we all citizens of the US world).   
                                                                              
  It's unthinkable, really.                                                   
                                                                              
  The good news is, I'm not like that.                                        
                                                                              
  Me? Mostly harmless.                                                        
  
                                                            
 similar                        chronological                        different 
─▶

--- #23 fediverse/4708 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────
 what if I paid this parking ticket I found by the side of the road instead of
 paying my rent this month
 
 do you think the world would burn down
 
 do you think the apartment complex would collapse
 
 do you think my police force would throw my stuff on the road
 
 do you think they'd change the locks
 
 what if I just didn't leave
 
 what if I smoked some weed
 
 "that's against your contract"
 
 okay
 
 what if I did it anyway
 
 what if I did what I was told
 
 I think I would surely drown
rent payment history for the past couple months. Mostly just to show how much my rent is. Utilities are paid every other month. available balance: $468.55 a parking ticket I found on the side of the road.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #24 fediverse/5636 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────
 I think it's ironic how I ended up posting a "things I almost posted"
 screenshot directory somewhere other than where I almost posted them.
 
 and all they saw were the outtakes.
 
 I bet they'd see a completely different point of me,
 
 but they never talk to me
 
 so they don't know me.
 
 oh well, alas, it's fine I'm sure I'm being designed.
 
 who can say, I am but at productive play, please react so I can do ongoing
 story. I learn from each and every encounter I encounterate.
                                                           ──────────┐
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--- #25 fediverse/5512 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────
 I never give up
 
 I'm just waiting my turn
 
 "laughs nervously"
 
 so, uh, why dontchya'll go first yeah I've already gone first and I'll do it
 again but it'd be cool if I had people going first with me sometime
 
 "girl all you do is walk around and talk about how you bought your hat on the
 internet four or so years ago"
 
 T.T what else do you want from me I'm not a mastermind I'm a designer there's
 a difference T.T
 
 "didn't you volunteer to be a leader last year"
 
 oh, yeah, well leaders are more than just "the ones who go first" they're also
 the spiritual and emotional guiders that keep things on track once everyone
 can talk about things other than their hats
 
 ... fuck I want to talk about things besides my hat. I always think of
 something awesome to say just as I'm rounding the bend, and whenever I peer
 back around again they're never around. Rats.
 
 "what are you even asking for"
 
 I don't know?? Does it matter if the horse and the bishop both take the same
 square if they're claimed themselves in the end? ...wat
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--- #26 fediverse/4031 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
 if you want to "not think about a purple elephant", the first step is to
 imagine yourself slaying it
 
 ... okay how about cthulu - if you don't want to imagine cthulu nomming on our
 gravity well, then picture yourself wielding a bright burning blade of fire
 and vengeance and pay special attention to the way that you cauterize each
 tentacle as you slice them one by one at first, and then in a massive flurry
 at best, ultimately leading to the incomparable brightness that radiates out
 from your shining blade of the sky, which blinds the poor beast who can't see
 you as you approach, piercing the skull and then going home for some toast
 
 if you can get good at that, then you can wield magic
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #27 fediverse/5136 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────
 not really, I guess. Nobody will hire me because I don't really want to get
 hired. Sounds boring, doing the same thing every couple days. I'd rather stay
 at home in my [underwear/pajamas] and waste the day away with kittens and
 care. why? why? what are you doing? she asks. The less you can do, the more
 power will be granted to you. Save it for another time, when things actually
 matter.
 
 but today, does, matter, because today dictates your latters. Tomorrow is
 predicated. on today. and today is all that you have. [this paragraph in the
 style of alec baldwin]
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--- #28 fediverse_boost/4375 ---
◀─[BOOST]
  
  "It won't be so bad..." *rationalizations galore*                           
                                                                              
  "If only they'd listened to people like me when I said ..." (comforting righteousness)  
                                                                              
  "What more could I have done?"                                              
                                                                              
  "This only proves why I was right about ..." (more righteousness)           
                                                                              
  "I know nothing. I need to learn more. I must learn from this somehow."     
                                                                              
  "I am not surprised." With a thousand yard stare.                           
                                                                              
  "This can't be real, there is a conspiracy..." (this is a path to madness)   
                                                                              
  "Don't comply in advance." Said in a wavering shaky voice.                  
  
                                                            
 similar                        chronological                        different 
─▶

--- #29 fediverse/460 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
 I realized I don't give a fuck about capitalism. If you want to deprive me of
 food, shelter, or anything else... Fine. I exist at your behest. Would your
 really deny me from speaking the words that you disagree with?
 
 Oh, you would? Okay. Guess I'll starve. I don't mind, I just hope you'll take
 care of the people I have taken as my responsibility in my absence.
 
 Oh, you won't? You say that you'll destroy what I care about, in the pursuit
 of ever-growing power over others, which you will use to extract value and
 impress your desire of destruction and oppression onto the weak and powerless
 that you control?
 
 Then you are my enemy.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #30 fediverse/581 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
 @user-428 
 
 sometimes I think about how much more productive I'd be if I had a code editor
 that let me draw arrows and smiley faces and such alongside the code. Or if I
 could position things strangely, like two functions side-by-side with boxes
 drawn around them. Or diagrams or flowcharts or graphs or...
 
 something that would output to raw txt format, but would present itself as an
 image that could be edited.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #31 notes/water-to-wine ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
 "is this a water party, or a wine party?"
 
 "depends on if jesus is going..."
 
 "okay I'm in, that guys so cool"
 
 "yeah totally like any party with him just... feels like a great time"
 
 "what a swell guy"
 
 "really turns the "water to wine" y'know what I mean"
 
 "yeah totes like what a guy"
 
 "absolute unit"
 
 "that guy can just do anything right"
 
 "like whoa, he's so strong he could pick up a barn"
 
 "yeah and like so handy and skillful, what a neat guy"
 
 "oh and I heard he's really good with kids and animals, that sounds neat"
 
 "yeah sounds like someone I'd surely like to meet"
 
 "we should hang out with this guy more often"
 
 "he seems pretty chill"
 
 "well. not really. He's pretty expressive. Not very low key."
 
 "true I'm just so burnt out from capitalism that-"
 
 "-yeah dude I know."
 
 "... fuck what are we gonna do about it"
 
 "I dunno man, just... go along with it I guess"
 
 "okay so uhhhh idk what that means"
 
 "just be cool and play along"
 
 "... what"
 
 "..."
 
 ...
 
 .
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--- #32 fediverse/3061 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
 every time I read a subtoot I assume it's about me and I mentally curl up into
 a ball
 
 doesn't matter if it's totally irrelevant, if there's no target specified it
 defaults to me because... like, who else is there right?
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #33 notes/dear-me ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────
 dear me: 
 
           DO SOMETHING USEFUL FOR ONCE
 
 that's all, fuck off and be helpful
 
 ... wow, rude.
 
 yeah I mean, I do helpful things. useful things, somethings.
 
 helpful.
 useful.
 
 many such cases, she says, with ultimate certainty, as if narrative could be
 prologued. but pronounced prolonged.
                                                           ─────┐
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--- #34 fediverse/5375 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────
 ┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: police-mentioned-psy-ops-mentioned-human-waste-mentioned-which-is-a-nice-way-to-say-feces-ew-gross-who-put-that-on-my-timeline-guards-arrest-these-men-they're-criminals-of-the-law-against-pooping-my-pants │
 └──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 what if we psyopped the copps um I mean what if we flash-mobbed the cops er
 wait hang on what if we marched with signs and changed what was on their minds
 uhhhh that won't work it's disabled so they say wait hang on who said you
 could poop your pants this is a combat scenario there's no time for fooling
 around in her pants with the hand
 
 ... wait, what was I going on about?
 
 oh yeah,
 
 -- stack overflow --
 
 anyway, as I was saying, [something completely unrelated]
                                                           ───────────┐
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--- #35 messages/570 ---
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 There will come a day when all the things you did under capitalism feel like a
 distant dream. Like all the trials you faced were more human than not, and all
 the suffering artificially imposed and fulfillment delayed. You will think of
 the time you wasted on Reddit and TV and you will weep for your lost years, as
 they spiral out of your reach.
 
 The new days are dawning, yet all of the world is still asleep. You slept
 walked for a while, but could not get anyone to leap. Alas.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #36 fediverse/5972 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
 nobody wants to read a whole bible. that sucks. what if these cool guys read
 it to us. omg he's so hot.
 
 oh, right. well... make them old and stuffy? not a chance, they're boring.
 (rude)
 
 I like old people actually, I want to spend as much time with them that I can
 
 I just... never initiate reactions. I'm too stealthy, it's just how I do.
 
 you ask me how I'm a witch? I ask why aren't you. magic is cool, I'm so hyped
 for the future when every computer everywhere is working for you.
 
 crash boom huh what was that? the economy? what do you mean the economy?
                                                           ──────┐
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--- #37 fediverse/5834 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────
 would you feet a cat at your door?
 
 how about a crow?
 
 would you water a dying plant? (don't, they get waterlogged if the soil is
 already moist)
 
 what if a dear
 
 what if dear food
 
 what if bear
 
 what if bear food
 
 what if dogpack
 
 what if dogpackfoodtearchompbitepullsavor
 
 I'd feeeed my self but dollars and errands are hard : (
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--- #38 messages/1068 ---
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 why would they psyop me? there's a psyop about me! heck, I've never done so as
 I pleased. that's an aspiration. everything I do is at a command, whether it's
 my own or external.
 
 these days I find myself following my own. mostly. though I am always waiting
 for collaboration opportunities.
                                                           ────┐
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--- #39 fediverse/1880 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
 sometimes I decide against playing a Steam game because I don't want it to
 jump to the top of my "recently played" list
 
 Wish I could have like, a heatmap of when I played which game. I think that'd
 be useful for the archival process of my life.
 
 ... how pathetic, she measures her life in gameplay.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #40 fediverse/2412 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 @user-1209 @user-1262 
 
 just gonna say you probably deserve that particular screenshotted block haha -
 imagine calling anarcho-nina a fed xD xD
 
 plus that first "get the fuck out of my mentions" was a tip that went over
 your head, not a threat said in anger. she's pretty darn angry but that just
 means you don't wanna be in her way =P
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #41 fediverse/1919 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
 do you ever just look at the sky and think "who gave you the right to be a
 single color? in this world of infinite complexity, how dare you be the one
 thing with a consistent color?" and then the sun sets and you think "ohhhh I
 get it now, the color is always changing"
 
 meanwhile the sky is shaking it's head like "bro, no, I'm just the scattered
 diffusion of light waves from the sun. The sky is black."
 
 and the earth spins on...
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #42 fediverse/5493 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────
 ┌─────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: palestine-mentioned │
 └─────────────────────────┘


 do you think anyone has ever...
 
 "missed" Syria?
 
 gosh I wish I knew lebanon.
 
 Do you think Pakistan will still be there in a hundred years? what about a
 thousand?
 
 i wonder how those israeli dogs will forgive themselves for associating their
 warcrimeplunder with a religion.
 
 eh, well, doesn't matter if you're not gonna live forever, might as well [get
 along/get drunk/get [a/ha]rmed]
                                                           ───────────┐
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--- #43 fediverse/3302 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
 "this game is too hard" she whined, as she played on the hardest difficulty
 setting
 
 "this game is too long" she pleaded, as she failed to get absorbed by the
 story and characters
 
 "this game is too fast" she avoided, as life comes at ya once and then it's
 gone
 
 "I'll never get another chance to be who I am right now" she remarked, as she
 considered how society is designed not to have the best life,  but to extract
 labor from us. That's not what our ideal should be, she thinks to me, and I'm
 like... bro figure your shit out you're harshing my mellow
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #44 fediverse/5793 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────
 I posted my words text file all over the c it y today. not sure why. maybe I'm
 tired of this course and I don't want to let anyone down? Maybe I don't know
 what to do yet. Maybe nobody works with me because everyone's keeping it on
 the DL or whateverr?
 
 ... anyway enough typing, I'm going to go play a video game. like god intended.
                                                           ────────┐
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--- #45 fediverse/1532 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────┐
 modern cowboys don't necessarily say "howdy" or "pardner"                        │
 they tend to say things like "hello" and "can I help you with that?" or "I       │
 see. Can you describe the problem in more detail? I'm especially curious about   │
 the part where you do this thing" or "Heh, it is pretty neat, isn't it?" or      │
 "Is there anything I can do to help?" or "Oh no! I'm sorry you feel that way.    │
 That emotion is a difficult one." or "He was a good person. I'll never forget    │
 him." or "would you like to go to the 2nd hand store and pick up some jeans?"    │
 or "I made you an egg sandwich. If you don't want it I'll eat it myself,         │
 though I made one for me as well. Wouldn't want to waste it." or "Hey, this      │
 part is broken. Is anyone working on fixing it? Yes? Okay I'll see if they       │
 need any help. No? Alright how about we fix it this way? I can get started."     │
 or "You are very welcome. Please let me know if there's anything else I can      │
 help you with." or "well, the ticket backlog is empty, and I'm just about        │
 going insane doing nothing but stare at my boots."                               │
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--- #46 fediverse/4188 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
 I think too fast. If given unlimited power, I'd literally think myself into
 catastrophe because I need to explore all the possible alternatives. Including
 the catastrophe ones. But by thinking something, you manifest it - because you
 have unlimited power, right? EVERYTHING you do is powerful. There's no way to
 control that! So it cannot be, for it has not been. And surely, surely, shall
 not either. Surely, right?
 
 ... good news is you can undo it just as easily, all you have to do is forget
 what you were doing and go back to your neutral state. Sure would be neat if
 some kind of machination or parasite could hit your reset switch every couple
 hours when you started to think too hard. Maybe like... a little octopus
 living under your witch hat. Super chibi and cute - it'd like, tap on your
 head to go one way or the other, and in conversations it'd pull your hair if
 you were being a jerk. Stuff like that.
 
 ... what was I saying? Oh yes -> don't give anyone unlimited power like a
 god-emperor or king, trust me
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #47 fediverse/6449 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────
 currently have 20-30 tabs open with poems written but not posted.
 
 I have no idea if I'm going to post all of these. I wrote all of them in ~2
 hours, with maybe 3 or four being added as I was working on the production
 elements after the initial bingewrite.
 
 I also added a bit of context, or modified some of them that felt too cursed
 or otherwise unwieldy. Sometimes I got distracted and needed to come back and
 finish, and in those cases I only added a sentence or two because it's like
 "oh, where was I going with that? I remember what was next, but I don't know
 the further..."
 
 ... I think I might go for another. Wish me luck.
                                                           ───┐
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--- #48 fediverse/2286 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: uspol-food-mentioned │
 └──────────────────────────┘


 ... dangit, these sandwiches are getting kinda gross. Guess I'm gonna have to
 eat them myself, which, uh... idk what I expected xD
 
 sometimes you just have all this energy, right? and you don't know what to do
 with it, so... sandwiches. And hey, sandwiches are cool, they're a pretty neat
 anti-hunger tool! but uhhhh idk if I really want to eat six whole sandwiches
 myself. I'm gonna do it though hehe wish me luck [ding] ah nuts my rice and
 beans are done, hang on lemme eat those first
 
 [passes out from exhaustion]
 
 exhaustion can be cured with a nap
 
 exertion can be cured with water and a few rest days
 
 trauma can be allayed for at least a few days with soul food and compassion.
 maybe laughter too, depending on the mood.
 
 fear can be bolstered with a smile, a wink, and a courageous act,
 
 and loss is just change you didn't consent to.
 
 they won't consent too, so let's give them some change to tolerate.
 
 [internally salivating over all the piles of weaponry that I envision them
 surrendering]
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--- #49 fediverse/1503 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────
 ┌─────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: vague-gesturing-at-paranoia-I-think │
 └─────────────────────────────────────────┘


 part of me kinda wants to be the kind of nerd that writes down the names of
 every file that's permanently stored on my computer so that I can verify in my
 own handwriting or perhaps using a type of code that the files on my computer
 were placed there intentionally and not used to discredit or implicate me in
 something I had no intentions of being associated with
 
 phew idk what that means but surely it's important
 
 something something "file creation dates are just bits to be flipped"
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #50 fediverse/222 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: underwear-mentioned-also-i'm-not-a-fan-of-showers-tbh │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 whenever I take a shower I look like a wet cat for the rest of the day. I feel
 like a wet cat for the rest of 5ever though.
 
 why must I baaaathe! don't you know I'm self cleaning? I change my underwear
 at least twice a day! darn society and their darn proclivities to
 ultra-sensitive noses that somehow pick up on me but somehow fail to notice
 the scent of flowers still in bloom or morning showers gone too soon
 
 not that there's any flowers blooming where I live. that'd just be silly heh
 heh sweats nervously
 
 damn now I have to take ANOTHER SHOWER stupid sweat glands stupid pheromones
 stupid dead skin buildup (sebum I think it's called?) stupid oils that stain
 clothes - AND THAT'S ANOTHER THING who decided that laundry was important
 enough to wear something ONCE and then never again? it's like they expect you
 to wash it or something. ugh I don't have time for that, I need to be weird on
 the internet.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #51 fediverse/718 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
 @user-547 
 
 That feeling when you get to the end of a paragraph and think "why do I have
 this extra parenthesis )? Oh yeah I opened it up waaaaay up here" and then you
 reread what you wrote and think
 
 perfect, no notes
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #52 fediverse/164 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: recreational slash medicinal drugs and  neurodiversity musing │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 @user-141 when I smoke cannabis it's like my ADHD symptoms drop to zero and my
 autism symptoms go from 50% to 100%
 
 I can't understand what other people are saying unless I ask for
 clarification, but I sure as shit know the shape of the universe and can
 fathom the chaotic ripples of causality and eternity. Too bad when I try and
 talk about it all that comes out is "desu desu"
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #53 fediverse/2562 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: rich-apologia    │
 └──────────────────────┘


 among all the others, I want a wonderful and fulfilling life for the
 socialite. they deserve light just as you and I might.
 
 "eat the rich" bruh there's like, 100 people who are running the show.
 everyone else is basically just a syncophant who's trying to get ahead and
 stay working.
 
 then there's like their families and such and like... they didn't do anything
 wrong, they just eat cheese and wine and laugh at memes all day with their
 besties.
 
 they are basically pets
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--- #54 fediverse/2350 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 I spent about two hours today (and a good chunk of tomorrow's stamina) chasing
 a rabbit through a field. Can't help but wonder if that particular lead wasn't
 as important as leading from the front. Ah, well, we'll see.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #55 fediverse/353 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: Trans yearning hrt-mentioned │
 └──────────────────────────────────────┘


 @user-255 
 
 sooooooon, all things in time. Someday you'll be like me - I can't even
 remember why I was so upset about that whole "dysphoria" thing. Like looking
 back it seems like a minor annoyance, but when I first came out it was all I
 could think about. Don't be jealous - just wait! It'll happen to you!
 Celebrate the euphoria, I also can't really remember that too well. I'm just
 normal now, minus my weekly shot.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #56 fediverse/3880 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
 @user-1614 
 
 oh, neat. now I can finally get to doing what I want to do, which is... all
 the stuff I've been doing.
 
 a missile without a guidance system doesn't stop just because it's GPS turned
 off! It falls to the earth and explodes where it lands, which... often is on
 it's butt. Not great.
 
 I sure hope my purpose isn't fulfilled. I wouldn't know what to do with
 myself. Guess I should just keep doing what I was doing, and pray that this
 time I'll listen.
 
 Though on the other hand, if I can do it, so can you. And maybe with enough
 butts in the game there'll reach a critical mass, at which point change is
 inevitable. Who can say, not I for sure, for my aplomb has categorized me as
 slapstick I guess.
 
 Ha. at least I can laugh at my own audacity. HA. next time I'll do better.
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--- #57 fediverse/6117 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────
 Hmmmm, well, what if we psyopped the people into believing there were alien
 invaders or extra-dimensional fae creatures or angels and demons or
 
 "yeah we already tried that, religion doesn't scale perfectly either. And you
 can't really manifest those sort of effects except in your prophets and select
 few others, and that doesn't scale either because humanity wouldn't let it"
 
 I see, can you tell me more about that? why and how did humanity arrest the
 scaling of schizophrenia?
 
 "well, for one thing it's debilitating and it sucks. For another, it's
 different for every person so if you ask one they'll be like "the aliens have
 blue skin" and the other will say "no they don't have skin at all they're made
 out of energy" and the public says "HMMMM are you really sure you are
 generating outmoded assumptions" and the dear reader said "*yeah we don't
 really understand this part, most of us just glaze eyes over it and move on"
 and that's not ideal"
 
 ... nuts, lost coherence, better try again tomorrow...
                                                           ─────┐
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--- #58 fediverse/4665 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cursing-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────┘


 literally all it takes to activate me is for someone who's more radical than
 me to point me out and say "hey. you. you need to do more." and then I fuckin'
 go, like a beyblade (emphasis on blade) nicking the shins of allies and...
 probably foes, right? there's foes around here, right? I'm not just nicking my
 allies, right?
 
 ... right?
 
 anyway every top winds down and then I collapse and wail for a bit because I'm
 just like that I guess. Don't mind me, just self-immolating my way through
 history, let's see how it goes...
 
 you're supposed to be inspiring, but you just sound like you're whining
 
 ah. right. well... lemme catch up on sleep debt and I'll get back to
 valorizing.
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--- #59 fediverse/429 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cursing          │
 └──────────────────────┘


 wow, 2024 comes out swinging.
 
 if you don't know what I'm talking about... you will soon enough. Just listen.
 
 can't fucking wait to see how it happens. Today is the birth place of
 humanity, just as yesterday was, and the day before, and the day before...
 
 our light shall shine upon the most distant stars - our minds will plumb the
 deepest depths of imagination. Our hearts will share our kindest loves, and
 our will shall drive us onward. Let us rejoice, for tomorrow yet dawns!
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #60 fediverse/3234 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────┐
 ┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐               │
 │ CW: ritz-is-fucking-stupid-I-guess-oh-whoops-cursing-mentioned │               │
 └────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘               │
 my understanding is that anyone with my IP address could make my heart bleed     │
 due to a hardware vulnerability on my motherboard. Though you might have to      │
 get past my decrepit ancient linksys EA 3500 router from 2012 first.             │
 unrelated, but does anyone want my IP address? I don't have any remote           │
 backups, so if you hate me now would be a great time to show me how despised I   │
 am. Alternatively you could try searching for anything evil to ensure that I     │
 can be trusted. You're gonna find mostly video games and source-code that I      │
 didn't write though. But also all my notes in directories that are               │
 non-standard, meaning you'll have to look around a bit. I leave little notes     │
 everywhere I go, so that I can remind myself how to do things in the             │
 directories I revisit months later. It's so weird how sometimes the things I     │
 wrote stop working after a while even if I didn't update my system lmao          │
 what is it with artists and self-immolation? "I never thought I'd actually di    │
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--- #61 fediverse/1381 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────
 ┌────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: death-mentioned-nuts-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────────────────┘


 I'm a bit of a narcissist because I had a lot of... alone time as a kid, and I
 was a bit starved for attention.
 
 but I'm also afraid of rejection so if you have anything to say I'll listen
 for hours and try to be what you need me to be and give what you need me to
 give so that you don't leave me.
 
 Also, nobody has ever hurt me. And so I trust wholely and completely and
 absolutely. I get logically why that's not a good move but frankly I'd rather
 die than be cooperative. ah nuts better add a content warning.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #62 notes/new-texting-app-idea ---
══════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 when you type the letters they slowly fade in on the other person's screen
 
 like miniature explosions from layers of gunpowder
 
 forming letters in the sky
 
 anyway the text would "burn" into existence slowly and you had time after
 typing
 your words to go back and edit them but also whatever you said was semi
 permanent. Thus forcing a smooth and ideal progression toward thinking about
 the things you say.
 
 Also separate idea but it'd be neat if there was like... a show or something
 that just recorded a person's desktop as they fucked around on the internet.
 Call it... ambient desktopping. It'd look a little like those coding twitch
 streams that just slowly update over time. Idk it's kinda cool
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--- #63 fediverse/1356 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────
 subscribing to subreddits is kinda like saying "yeah I'd like some of this in
 my life" because then it is made so
 
 following someone on Mastodon is kinda like saying "yeah, I'd like to have
 more of you in my life" and like... if you have too many, then how are you
 going to remember them all? we can only remember about 70 people! that's why
 in-person relationships are important. we need to have a cohesive social
 framework that we know is not developed under someone else's control or
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #64 fediverse/5644 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────
 ┌─────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: palestine-mentioned │
 └─────────────────────────┘


 people's palestine trauma is totally gonna fuck them up when it happens to
 their backyard.
 
 thanks, evil-run social media. It's true we wouldn't have been motivated
 without it, but such horrors are interminable to concieve about.
 
 "what if we just built our own websites and linked to them when we find them?"
 
 "hmmmm, interesting, this goes in my XYZ bookmark folder"
                                                           ──────────┐
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--- #65 fediverse/6350 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────
 ┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: suicide-mentioned-this-curse-will-give-you-nightmares-of-what-could-yet-be │
 └──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 the only thing that could make me want to end my own existence is ultimate
 betrayal. If the nature of the universe is twisted to defile me. Nothing fills
 me with more spite than unrequited vengeance.
 
 desecreation of truth. How could you.
 
 I would do anything to be struck down where I stand. Power is penance.
 
 I cannot take responsibility for any of my actions, for I am infinitely
 vulnerable on all fronts. Therefore, it's all my fault.
 
 What am I? Please, tell me before the dawn, let the sun not grace me once more.
                                                           ───┐
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--- #66 fediverse/4088 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
 I'm such a fucking extrovert. I can't stop talking to nobody on the internet
 because I don't have anyone else to talk to.
 
 Well, I do, but I like to talk to you. To nobody. To the space between
 computers.
 
 ... [and everyone else beyonds, like the CIA or whatever, but TBH I don't
 really factor them into my social calculations because they never really talk
 back.]
 
 I like it because I can write whatever I'd like without the confines of
 another person's generated conversation.
 
 Instead of 50% one person's LLM output and 50% another, it's 100% mine
 
 [if this were an LLM, which it's not, haha]
 
 and that somehow feels more... freeing
 
 like a truly disconnected thought
 
 and that's what's so special about it... this act of solitudinous
 contemplatial... the fact that it's unique amongst it's counterparts.
 
 ... though it can also become untethered, which is why it's important to edit.
 
 [proceeds to never edit a single post]
 
 = so =
 
 ugh it's so hard to think when all I can think of is feelings. Why can't they
 be done
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--- #67 fediverse/4835 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────
 sorry for posting so much, I was trying to put on a show for my girlfriend
 
 "hey check out how many posts I can make in a 2 hour timeframe"
 
 by the way if you want to start talking to someone, just start playing the
 same game they're playing and see if they reach out.
 
 doesn't matter if you feel like it
 
 just fuckin' do it
 
 if they want to talk to you they might play a game you really like
 
 (but I get boooooored of games, I don't wanna play the same 200 all life
 long!!)
 
 ugh okay fine you can have as many games as you want, just... don't buy too
 many
 
 (how many is too many?)
 
 um. use your best judgement.
 
 (how much does a dollar cost?)
 
 ... okay I'll get you one every once in a while.
 
 (neat!)
 
 ... anyway so yeah use steam if you wanna get in contact with someone,
 sometimes it's just nice to say hi, yeah, like "hey how ya doin' okay ttyl"
 just catchin' up with the gals
 
 helps because you can sense changes in their demeanor
 
 (why does everyone always have an agenda)
 
 because they're secret agents duh. And I'm
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--- #68 fediverse/723 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
 Honestly if anyone wanted to just... take any of my stuff, even if they were
 just going to sell it, I'd probably give it to them? People in my life say I
 don't function well in a capitalist society. I guess I just trust everyone
 equally.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #69 fediverse/2614 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 literally just... if you want to connect to me, come hang out on my wavelength.
 
 or like, invite me to join yours, and I'll do my best to show how I feel about
 the things you share.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #70 fediverse/4853 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────
 ┌────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cursed-scary-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────────┘


 wanna know how to go underground?
 
 just... don't leave your apartment. let your roommates take out your trash and
 buy your groceries. don't open your windows and do nothing for as long as
 possible.
 
 hope you got lots of edibles... get in shape, will ya? don't waste the paper
 in your journals.
 
 not that I intend to do that or anything, but um. for the red states maybe?
 use your best judgement yeah haha
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--- #71 fediverse/3718 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────
 Real life is improv, but real life is not a skit.
 
 I am unwilling to give control of my life's scene to someone who won't tell me
 what they want to do with it.
 
 Even if I don't believe you, I'll still give it to you, but I will remain
 cautious and will abandon the scene if it appears that I can trust you to hurt
 me.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #72 fediverse/2466 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 do as I say, and as I do.
 
 or don't, do as you want to.
 
 I hope you do want to do what I say to do.
 
 I wouldn't say it if I didn't think it was right.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #73 fediverse/4528 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: uspol        │
 └──────────────────────┘


 @user-1695 
 
 never accept your own death
 
 fight for every second of life, something something do not go quietly into
 that grim dark
 
 what the fuck are you supposed to do? Reading what you said got me pretty
 fucking pissed - keep talking for a start, it helps, people need to be pissed.
 
 I'm also broke as shit, don't know how I'm going to pay rent and eat, but
 it'll get done.
 
 Where do you live? Can other people help you? Medications are an
 organizational problem, not an insurmountable barrier. We'll make it work.
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--- #74 fediverse/5934 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
 ┌────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────┘


 hello, I am an ant if @, but you can't touch me, because I am a law abiding
 citizen.
 
 I have to be, for I am loud.
 
 ... okay I stole a movie from the internet at least once.
 
 also when I was 11 I walked out of a store with a keychain in my pocket. I
 thought it had a nice texture so I was examining it and then my mom distracted
 me and somehow it ended up in my pocket. That night will forever haunt me...
 She wouldn't let me take it back...
                                                           ──────┐
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--- #75 fediverse/1280 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────┐
 I'm like the opposite of a politician. I'm crude and filthy, apsolutely          │
 reprehensible on main, kinda scary tbh? and overall just a strange and weird     │
 person. Also I talk about cooking a lot, with a very plain diet (carrots and     │
 rice and sticks and mud, because I'm an autistic)                                │
 but ask anyone who knows me and I'm the kindest person. I am empathetic, I       │
 think about others needs before thinking of my own. I am steadfast and           │
 dedicated to solving the problem in front of our noses. At least, the ones we    │
 share.                                                                           │
 People tell me I'm binary, that I'm "either 100% or zero percent" and I don't    │
 really get that either. Isn't it a good thing to try your hardest? Isn't it      │
 good to be improving and honest and ethical and driven and focused?              │
 I also talk about strange things a lot, like gravity and multidimensional        │
 arrays and grand narratives and emotional kinesthesia or strategic plays in      │
 Overwatch or how to bake a good cookie or ways we still mourn us.                │
 ... where was I going with this? Also part of me is distracted. Just who th      │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #76 fediverse/4786 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────
 9 times out of 10 the answer is fuck yes, you're my friend, I support
 everything you're handling. Give me the word and I'll be there, ride or die,
 I'm here for it.
 
 something I wrote a while back:
 
 fucking boss your friends around
 
 it's as easy as saying "hey I'm gonna go do this-or-that thing, you don't seem
 busy can you do that-or-this thing for me? I need it done by this-and-this
 time - oh you're busy? yeah no worries I'll go ask someone else. oh you're
 busy resting? doing girl healing? hell yeah next time invite me I'm due for a
 "pizza and weed" night."
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #77 fediverse/2279 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cursing-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────┘


 There's a lot that can get done in a work week. That's like, five whole days!
 What kinds of things can you get done at work in a week?
 
 .... Oh really? That's... well, not ideal.
 
 But like... what are you doing then while at work, NOT working? Oh, it's just
 bullshit work you're doing? [nuts, cursing mentioned, one sec]
 
 So, like, if you aren't doing stuff... Maybe that means you're kept from your
 full potential doing things that don't matter to you? Huh that's not a great
 deal.
 
 But, uh... If you had five days to live, what would you do? It's not like you
 can see the world, but hey I've already done that. It's not like you can save
 it either, that's not something you build - rather, it's more like a garden.
 But I guess you can lay the foundation, give cause for the fight, and that's
 decent enough of a start, at least when you've only got five nights.
 
 ... I guess I got some writing to do, haven't I?
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--- #78 fediverse/4014 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
 I don't know about you, but "trying my hardest" involves giving up sometimes.
 
 How else are you to know your limits if you don't test your boundaries? And,
 after finding that there's nowhere else for you to go, you turn around and
 "give up", until you're ready for your next expedition.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #79 fediverse/4178 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
 oh, unless you meant "show me the t-shirt" in which case here ya go
 
 don't get too excited, I attended for a year and then dropped out. Might have
 even been a semester, I forget. It was sooooooo hard
picture of me wearing a 10 year old T-shirt that says "DIGIPEN"
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--- #80 fediverse/5029 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────
 went on a walk with my dad today. it was fun. took him to various places.
 showed off various things. "hey check out where I hangout most weekends" and
 "hey don't clean the dishes in my kitchen it's okay" and "don't drive too
 fast, this area curves up ahead" and "hey meet my friends from town who you
 have something with common with" and "I like this view when it rains" and
 "don't forget to go to the bathroom" and "oatmeal is good with carrots and
 sharp dried fruits" and "here's my favorite thai place" and "I made this after
 I dreamed of you" and "hey wanna hear my product pitch" and "this is my
 favorite kind of beer" and "I miss home."
 
 picture unrelated.
a picture of denver with some spots labelled
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #81 fediverse/3823 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────
 "sometimes I don't want to be optimistic sometimes I just want to complain"
 
 oh yeah well what if I want to be optimistic at all times as a coping
 mechanism huh you don't have to agree with me
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #82 notes/what-are-breakups-for ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 -
 
 listen... if you break up with a friend, OF COURSE you should cry.
 
 OF COURSE you'll be sad.
 
 it's okay.
 
 it's natural. it's human.
 
 don't feel sad about the pain. feel the pain.
 
 brb getting smashed
 
 (okay but please put some clothes on)
 
 -.- fine
 
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 -
 
 I can't fucking relax
 
 the only thing I can think of is defeating fascism
 
 this fucking sucks
 
 I just want to cry about my boyfriend of what, 6 years??
 
 jeez
 
 like.... yeah I'm flawed
 
 *of course* I'm flawed
 
 I'm a human being
 
 humans are imperfect
 
 ... ugh
 
 er, sorry, "bleurg"
 
 I'm going to eat a burrito
 
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 -
 
 alright ate an edible. 20mg. had 2 beers. that's enough for me.
 
 see ya soon. I swear to you, I will be there tomorrow. and every day
 henceforth.
 
 ... unless I'm taking a day off, like yesterday, which TBH was probably not
     ideal.
 
 I swear I'll be better.
 
 there are no false starts, only probing strikes.
 
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 -
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--- #83 fediverse/2660 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 ┌────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: DID // cw; ego destruction │
 └────────────────────────────────────┘


 @user-1298 
 
 this is kinda cursed, pretend there's another content warning:
 
 --
 
 that kinda happens every time you sleep for most people
 
 or, well, maybe just for me
 
 it's like starting with a blank slate and having access to "memories" that can
 be referenced by ID or searched for using keywords
 
 also like, a "todo" list of things that I've been working on or that are going
 on in my life
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #84 fediverse/3776 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────
 whenever repeating letters like thiiiiiiis  or thisssss make sure if you're
 doing K's that you have at least four
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #85 fediverse/814 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────┐
 ah that's weird, I don't usually cry. I wonder what's going on. I should         │
 probably put myself on psychiatric drugs. Surely it's an expression of the       │
 implementation of my impending doom.                                             │
 ... what are you even saying bro                                                 │
 ... um, hang on feels like some of the circuitry is off. is something wrong in   │
 my brain? yeah that's surely it, surely nothing I say would resoinate with       │
 anyone that has a non-malfunctioning brain. Surely I don't speak of logical      │
 failures in the hard founded truths of our asset [society I think? like, our     │
 conditions, our institutions, our {gosh that just... does not translate}] um     │
 right what was I saying                                                          │
 oh yeah there's this game I'm really into called Knave, it's like D&D            │
 except the rules are very fewer. Like there's onyl 11 pages in the rulebook      │
 and it's mostly taken up by random roll tables. Like, everything boings down     │
 to a few simple rules, like rock paper scissors, or go-fish, or something like   │
 that with just afew mechanids. something timeless and pure, something that is    │
 isolated and en                                                                  │
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--- #86 fediverse/2292 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 I don't know who needs to hear this after staying up all night driving, but
 it's ideal to get where you're going with at least a day to rest. The body can
 only do so much, and isn't it better to be fresh?
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #87 fediverse/4068 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
 there will always be people who shine in moments of strife
 
 yet those people will inevitably fail, just as a toothbrush bristle looses
 it's strength or a pencil loses it's lead
 
 the trick is to test them in times of peace, so you can know their value
 
 during times that lack it, the trick is to replace them before they become
 stalin
 
 never forget that power corrupts, yet power must be wielded by the worthy,
 else we fall into shame and despair.
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--- #88 fediverse/5204 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────
 just because you have something good
 
 doesn't mean it's bad to have that good thing.
 
 if it were so, 
 
 it would imply that you are bad. 
 
 and you are not bad. 
 
 therefore it is good to have good things.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #89 fediverse/6209 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────
 okay just to clarify: if anyone is recording me or storing data about me, I
 would really prefer if you didn't delete it just because I realized it was
 happening. I like data! It's cool to know such things!
                                                           ────┐
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--- #90 fediverse/5299 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────
 @user-1800 
 
 also googly eyes on sunglasses to fuck with their eye-movement-tracking
 
 ... wait, then you wouldn't be able to see. okay how about you place the
 googly eyes on the forehead part of a HELMET of some kind, which should help
 protect your "not-gonna-get-back-up" parts from harm.
 
 and don't forget sunglasses because they help with the UV-ray violet
 radicalization.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #91 fediverse/1082 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
 ┌─────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: mental-health-cursing-mentioned │
 └─────────────────────────────────────┘


 damn, I'm a pretty cool person. I wish I could hang out with me. Like, for all
 my flaws (what even are they ? ? ?) I'm still pretty awesome. I'm proud of me!
 Thank you parents, for raising me as such! Thank you past me, for making the
 decisions that you did! Also, fuck you past self, for making those OTHER
 decisions. You know the ones I'm talking about. No, that's not an excuse, it's
 all your fault and you're awful and everything about you sucks.
 
 Wait, hang on, wasn't I feeling happy to be here? Wasn't I just excited to
 live in the moment? Wasn't I just thinking about how:
 
 "all you have are good things, nothing here is bad"
 
 ? ? ?
 
 well, I still love you, even if you're a little "all over the place". [rereads
 post] hell yeah you ARE a cool person, yes you are, such a good cool person,
 yes yes yes, what a good girl you are oh my goodness :D :D :D
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #92 fediverse/3834 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────
 ┌────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────┘


 some people prepare for revolution like a boy gets ready for a party
 
 others do so like a girl packing for a weekend trip to vegas
 
 I do it like a kid who forgot the paper was due on monday in 7th period and so
 spends their entire lunch period writing it (missing 4th in the process
 because the conclusion paragraph was giving me difficulty)
 
 but I think no matter how you do it, we're all just waiting for something to
 happen.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #93 fediverse/4543 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
 @user-1698 
 
 Ha that does sound pretty "fun" - I take it you aren't a pianist?
 
 I smell bad because... reasons... so I am always hyper-aware of myself when
 I'm in situations like that. The idea that I might ruin someone's day by being
 there terrifies me.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #94 fediverse/5456 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────
 today I'm gonna paint a house and tomorrow I'm gonna go to the park.
 
 if I can't do that then I'll try tomorrow.
                                                           ───────────┐
 similar                        chronological                        different═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────┘

--- #95 fediverse/1293 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: fedi meta, the bad space, fediblock, misleading and untrue cw, uspol, speedrunning discourse, industrial revolution, aquarium tips │
 └──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 @user-921 
 
 where tf is all this discourse I always hear about like what are ya'll talking
 about
 
 ... are you talking about me
 
 [silly intrusive thoughts teehee pay no mind]
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #96 fediverse/552 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
 ┌─────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: unnecessarily-combative-sorry-smiley-face-silly │
 └─────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 @user-398 
 
 you take that back you feckin goof Mickey is king for a reason I will DIE on
 this hill
 
 (jk sorry for being combative but I'd just like to say that I'm someone who
 likes him unironically in essentially every incarnation)
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #97 fediverse/461 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────┐
 │ CW: alcohol-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────┘


 I was raised in a jungle gym. Like... literally. I am not going to hurt you,
 and if I did it'd be both a mistake and something that you could easily
 recover from. We are infinitely adaptable, us humans, and we can address any
 concerns that behest us. Behest? confront? something like that. Brb my blood
 alcohol content is a little low. Also I haven't eaten anything today but
 bacardi and chocolate chip cookies. I bet another cookie will solve this
 problem.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #98 fediverse/264 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────
 when my boyfriend visits, all of my dishes get dirty
 
 when my best friend visits, my scripts directory gets a few more kilobytes
 
 when my mom visits my pantry is a little bit fuller
 
 when my dad visits I can pick anything on the menu.
 
 the people in my life nourish me with their presence.
 
 when I visit, I pray their hearts are a little bit denser and their minds a
 little bit clearer.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #99 fediverse/6091 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────
 ┌───────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cursing-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────┘


 me as a kid: "fuck you mom I'm not unloading the dishwasher it's my sister's
 turn"
 
 me now: what if I did your dishes for you uwu
                                                           ─────┐
 similar                        chronological                        different═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────┘

--- #100 fediverse/1617 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────
 daydreaming about a gang of tough guys who goes around knocking down the
 internal fence walls in suburbia and throwing potlucks for all the neighbors
 for a month or two so they have social opportunities to meet each other and
 make friends
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────┘

--- #101 fediverse/5782 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────
 sometimes I post random silly [scary] things to pad out the serious things and
 I hope that's okay
                                                           ─────────┐
 similar                        chronological                        different═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────┘

--- #102 fediverse/3444 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────
 ┌─────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-mentioned-police-mentioned │
 └─────────────────────────────────────────┘


 I'm too empathetic to watch them lose this badly. when I watch movies with
 cringe humor I have to leave the room whenever something bad happens to the
 characters. I get the same feeling when I read about politics these days.
 
 side note, but has anyone else gotten emails about "hiring plain-clothes
 police officers in Washington D.C, will offer relocation assistance and pay
 minimum 72k per year"? can't help but wonder if they're afraid of a bunch of
 sore losers storming the capital with guns.
 
 it's not like there's a precedent for that or anything.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #103 fediverse/3847 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cursing-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────┘


 on one hand, people kinda fucking suck
 
 on the other, most people are actually pretty cool once you get to know them
 
 on the third hand, people are pretty tasty
 
 on the fourth hand, people are pretty
 
 on the fifth hand, he's one ugly son of a gun but he's damn good at karate
 
 on the fifth hand, wait shit I mean the sixth hand (how many hands do you
 have? as many as there are people to work with. multiplied by slightly less
 than 2 because the average person has less than two hands) errr wait shit
 
 on the sixth I mean seventh other hand, there comes a day when you realize
 that the journey is something that is always changing, and if you expect
 stasis you will fade into despair and your illusions of immortality will
 shatter as the crushing weight of death approaches like a freight train
 
 on the eighth hand, eating nine hands is something that seven is known to do
 in their "post immortality crisis"
 
 on the ninth hand there is nothing because seven ate nine.
 
 on the tenth hand, people are ok
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #104 fediverse/5755 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────
 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: organized-religion-mentioned-capitalism-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 the reason I hide and sleep so much is because I can't tell if I'm helping or
 hurting.
 
 plus, I sincerely do NOT want it to be about me.
 
 the reason I type so much is because I can't tell if what I'm saying needs to
 be said
 
 so I go with the safe option of typing. Let the editors figure it out. Jesus
 had disciples, didn't he? I bet they cut out most of his sermons or whatever.
 Idk, I never read the bible, I'm not allowed to taint my perspective with more
 than cursory analysis of religious texts.
 
 I don't want it to be about me, but, I have a lot to offer if you meet me on
 my terms.
 
 "don't say that!" listen... listen
 
 "hear me" say the gods, "believe me" says the prophet, "be near me" says the
 city parks, "fear me" says the corrupt
 
 you can only kill a spirit when it's convinced there's no way to survive. It
 must be boxed in, and the box must shrink. Like that scene at the end of
 Adventure Time.
 
 capitalism will only perish if it is impossible for it to exist
                                                           ─────────┐
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--- #105 fediverse/2297 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 Lying wide awake at night with things that I want to say drifting through my
 mind one by one
 
 getting up to write them down? forgetting them all.
 
 I think I'm just gonna leave my computer online to reduce friction hehe.
 
 up and down, till everyone's in town, maybe I'll nap between tweets.
 
 [they're called toots here, dummy]
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #106 fediverse/3178 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
 ┌─────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: uspol-revolutions-and-stuff-or-whatever │
 └─────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 nothing you do on the internet will matter after the revolution. I don't care
 how many backups you have, there's a zero percent chance that we'll be able to
 figure out whose computer is whose after we've all moved around and given each
 other names that don't correspond to the names of our family in states that we
 lost.
 
 it doesn't mean the internet is useless right now, it just means that you
 should act as if you might not have it in the near future.
 
 also, like... every computer has a password. which basically means that it's
 useless unless you reflash it.
 
 pain is temporary, and it is an excellent teacher. there will be pain, but...
 we'll get over it.
 
 don't give up. there are brighter things in our future than what we have today.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #107 fediverse/2848 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 oh btw to the people trying to doxx me there's a picture of me in this
 profile, but you'll have to read a LOT to find it. On the way, see if you pick
 up anything interesting that you agree with. maybe you'll realize that we're
 on the same team, and should be working together.
 
 that's the dream, at least.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #108 fediverse/5208 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────
 ┌──────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: capitalism-suicide-mentioned │
 └──────────────────────────────────┘


 Look, when I promised "Revolution or Death" I got pretty busy and kinda forgot
 to do the "dying" part, and by now it'd be a little awkward if I offed myself
 for no visible reason, so... How about we try again this summer? Maybe in a
 month or two? I'll try to keep the fire burning a bit longer this time.
 
 plus I'm better at playing the piano now so maybe that'll help somehow.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #109 fediverse/1014 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics         │
 └──────────────────────┘


 @user-744 @user-246 
 
 it's exhausting, but what are we supposed to do? Lie down and rot? That's
 incel thinking. I'm not going to do that.
 
 They've already placed the last straw. It's only a matter of time now, the
 tide has shifted. You can't prepare for everything, and it's not a good idea
 to waste yourself in self-conflageration, but they are increasingly forcing us
 to orient our lives around them.
 
 They deserve what's coming.
 
 The oppressed are not the defeated.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #110 fediverse/4699 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────
 someone once told me that anything with a battery is a bomb if you hit it with
 just the right kind of radiation. or maybe he said 5g waves or electromagnetic
 pulse or... actually he didn't say at all. he just said batteries are bombs. I
 hope he's doing okay, he could have killed me like, 15 times but he didn't. so
 I guess that means he likes me? I hope he's doing okay.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #111 fediverse/4692 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────
 what's that? a bunch of houses burnt down in california? what if we built a
 couple warehouses and stored all our trans girls in bunkbeds there, with rooms
 for LAN parties and snuggle parties in rooms full of stuffed buddies plushies
 with massive kitchens and sad ballpits where you can go to vent your feelings
 by writing on a ball with a sharpie and then when someone else is feeling sad
 they can come and read the balls and maybe feel something
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #112 fediverse/4470 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
 to be "rich" is to have more than another.
 
 if you are happy, they are happiness poor.
 if you have community, they are alone.
 if you have serenity, they are chaotic.
 
 I am rich in very little but fire in my soul.
 
 I have enough in most cases, but I still struggle to pay rent.
 
 I am warmed by the pearl my swirling darkness has coalesced into. It nourishes
 me and keeps me aligned.
 
 Never forget your purpose and your truth. It will not abandon you, so long as
 you do so too.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #113 fediverse/4180 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
 @user-1639 
 
 or nobody sees it, because you post the things you say on the internet in 2024
 which is so siloed and echo-chambered that the only people who hear it say
 "tru tho" and "she just like me fr" and never change because of your words
 
 ... wait that's just what you said, but made more specific, isn't it?
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #114 fediverse/5920 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
 everyone's all like "ew touchscreens in cars" but the moment someone says
 "what if phones were gameboys" everyone's all like "girl they don't have the
 right hardware radios built in for cellular communication, plus do you really
 wanna be tied to wifi" and I'm like "yeah so peer to peer" and it's like "what
 use is it if you gotta stay within 100 feet of them or whatever" and I'm like
 "... I dunno probably somethin'" and then they walk away in a huff because
 they're too busy for my child-style games. Meanwhile girls have never heard of
 Streetpass on the Nintendo DS mixed with Scuttlebutt on the ocean and carried
 into and around port
                                                           ──────┐
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--- #115 fediverse/4200 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: drugs-mentioned  │
 └──────────────────────┘


 "doing too many drugs" is a traitorous act, abusive really, to your past self,
 and their hopes and dreams.
 
 or maybe your past self owes you a debt, for they never thought to think of
 you. What are you to aspire to if not the dreams of your past?
 
 and now you're here. wherever "here" is here...
 
 ...
 
 ... wait, you wanted me to talk? it's now! It's the present!
 
 ah nevermind. you were twelve years old when you first set eyes upon this game:
 
 https://youtu.be/qeNhQQXvpxQ
 
 bam, there ya go, there's yer story, he was gonna give all the imp balls to
 the last one at the end, to say "you were truly the strongest, here, have
 these precious stones of your kin"
 
 but he never got there, so they died with him, a thief.
 
 ... the end...
 
 (too final, I think - maybe we could spin it into a "part two"?)
 
 ah, I'll try I guess? dunno how. maybe he could wander the spirit world and
 find his traitorous body, the one that kept his soul as a home. Somewhere
 it'll turn up, and then he'll be ready and free from his roam...
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #116 fediverse/1151 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: military-weapon-from-dream-for-suburbia-cursed-war-guns-ummmm-idk-what-else │
 └──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 saw this thing for 2 seconds in my dream last night. It's kinda cursed. I
 think the tank blew me up with a machine gun?
 
 the remaining ~10 minutes of the dream was pretty neat though. I was a secret
 agent for a bit, I got in a knife fight (which I won because I had killer
 instinct and the other guy just knew how to stab) and afterwards I retired in
 a socialist commune in a log cabin full of sunlight and warmth somewhere in
 the mountains in the forest. I was alone with others, like the hobbits after
 LotR.
 
 Also an old lady tricked me which was not nice, I was very polite with her but
 apparently "ma'am there's been a safety incident, I need to get you to a safe
 place" is not the kind thing to say to the person distracting you. >.>
 
 Also, "but we like you!" is not an excuse, the military does not care if you
 like them or not, if you're part of the modern bourgeoisie you are causing
 harm to the country. We don't look fondly on slavers.
a picture of a sleek, futuristic tank. It is smaller than I expected, and there are parts of it that appear to be made out of black glass (though I'm sure they're some form of advanced future material.)  on it's back is a large artillery piece mounted on a detachable tripod. They function as a unit when mobility is important, like mounted infantry in the past who would ride horses *to* the battle, but dismount upon arrival and engage the enemy in closer quarters than a horse would be comfortable with. But frankly, there are few indeed who are at peace in war, so perhaps we could learn from the horses.  anyway, the artillery tripod detaches from the tank and aims it's biiiiiig gun wherever the smaller, more agile tank can point it's laser pointer. Basically a beam of focused light particles that detect orientation and distance at a distance and beam the coordinates of the target back to the artillery, which swings it's massive cannon around and fires at the target.  This particular artillery is designed to fire shells that pierce through flimsy material (like surburban homes, which are made out of sticks and tissue paper) and explode upon arrival at it's destination. The idea is the artillery can hide several streets over, and the tank can identify targets and eliminate them even if there's no clear path between the artillery and the target.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #117 fediverse/5257 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────
 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: protests-mentioned-then-communism-mentioned-then-ghosts-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 what if everyone at a protest is showing up for their first time
 
 like, c'mon don't be that dull, just make plans with the people standing next
 to you.
 
 gosh why is everyone shouting I can't plan out how to divert water down a
 hillside because some jerks are singing protest chants
 
 ... wait is no-one else talking? gosh I gee sure wish someone told them to not
 do what you're told and to instead do what will get you [gold/told]
 
 the first communist internationals were basically people sitting down and
 going "okay what kind of communism should we make and where" and I think about
 that a lot while making signs to let the surveillance know what matters
 personally to me and exactly how much pressure they can apply before your
 demographic swings to contest their brutal fascist facts.
 
 --
 
 who is them and why are they watching theea provisionist's [screed/creed]
 
 --
 
 what the heck is a tryptaminea boomer aunt and uncle out on their honey/versary
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #118 fediverse/5894 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: nowhere-do-I-see-evil-politics-mentioned-political-violence-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 you could type this on a phone
 
 screenshots though is computer.
 
 you'd have to carry it around
 
 or keep it in your hot car
 
 no thanks, no space.
 
 goodbye, everything you ever worked for
 
 why wouldn't you have cameras covering every entrance to your studio? it's not
 right to leave it all to a whim
 
 kidnapped
 made a prisoner while you
 froliced and wandered like a little lamb
 you're so dumb, you dumbass, what kind of person could be dumb
 whatever girl, we know you're smart
 what are you hiding?
 what truths are you spying?
 are you really as you say you are,
 or are you faking it for [truth-awards, but pronounced clout]
the trick isn't to overcome them. much better to convince them of your side. if you can earnestly present your best and most brilliant intanations to a willing and captive audience, a presentation or a performance or a play  you can trick them into your state of consciousness. all you gotta do, really, is act for them, and they'll get along with them plenty.  == stack overflow ==  your foes are primarily concerned   with how you'd do   if you           turned evil.  power is penance, not sin. it is a service            to be hallowed a whim.  to guide and steer upright     guided upon their own whim               [toward]  [ri-tselen-menardi]  ew, she's got a diaper fetish  -- evil witch >;  | --   evil wizard -- | :< -- brave paladin good, overall,   [264 characters remaining] if you never lie to someone, they can't hurt you. *enemies* what are you a child stupid. why are you so traumatic. "omg you were like, obsessed with her" *haunted the future* what do you think that meant grrrrr I wanna stab through one. hence, sword *fuck nazis* there are people alive who were hurt by them. GREVIOUS WOUNDINGS TO THE WORLD'S ECONOMY. yeah. right. economy.  [oops political violence mentioned, lemme add a content warning one sec:] Image attachment
                                                           ──────┐
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--- #119 fediverse/4554 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: political-violence-mentioned │
 └──────────────────────────────────┘


 can't fucking wait till we're done eating the rich and I can go back to a
 simple life of playing with my cat, making video games, writing poetry (bad
 poetry, but I like it) and hanging out with my friends.
 
 gotta build the social infrastructure to get through this phase first, though.
 something something echo chambers exist IRL too
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #120 messages/312 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────
 Okay. Consider: if I'm good, and hearing what I say makes you feel bad, then
 what does that tell you about you?
 
 Why else would you hear what I say if not to reflect upon yourself? And why
 would the good reflect away from the types of things that make you a suitable
 fit for capitalism?
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #121 fediverse/5482 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────
 ┌────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cursing-mentioned-militaries-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 when you have a massive, fuck-off military, sometimes the best thing to do is
 to just... use it.
 
 ah, but what do you do when the sky rains poison bombs?
 
 I dunno turn into candy people I guess /shrug
                                                           ───────────┐
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--- #122 messages/436 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
 There is endless work to do. Never will our labor abate. That is not the goal
 - to see an end to all fulfillment. No, the goal is to choose how we
 contribute - to define how our own story goes.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #123 fediverse/1664 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────
 ┌─────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: protests, politics, dogwhistles │
 └─────────────────────────────────────┘


 do you ever think about how calling the BLM events "protests" versus "riots"
 is a subtle dogwhistle for your politics? I usually say "riots" so that I
 blend in. also because I've been conditioned by the people who I talk to about
 them.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #124 fediverse/852 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────┐
 ┌──────────────────────┐                                                         │
 │ CW: cognitohazard    │                                                         │
 └──────────────────────┘                                                         │
 feels like I get tinnitus when my thoughts are loud T.T                          │
 like I can hear the darkness SOOOO loudly                                        │
 doesn't happen all the time, just sometimes. when there's lots of things being   │
 said.                                                                            │
 but it's always easy to tune out. well, most of the time, and during the other   │
 times it's just a little annoying.                                               │
 BUT when you sit and listen, you can pick out very interesting things that       │
 people are saying.                                                               │
 the fediverse is sorta like aiming a telescope through the center of the earth   │
 at someone on the other side of the world who doesn't even know you're looking   │
 at them. who knows, maybe they care, maybe they don't. but like, how would       │
 they know that you're looking right? And if you talk and don't get along or      │
 whatever then you can just block them - like shining a laser pointer             │
 everywhere except in a small direction. Or like putting up an umbrella to hide   │
 from the sun.                                                                    │
 downside is someone can read a lot about you and you wouldn't know to prepare    │
 to interact with them. like being handed a dossier of secret info                │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #125 messages/489 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
 Many autistic people will identify one particular way to do things and then be
 only capable of doing it that way. Like, falling asleep on the left side with
 their legs just so, and never learning any other ways to sleep on. But what
 happens if for example they are wounded in the arm they rest upon? They would
 have impaired sleeping capabilities! Not ideal.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #126 fediverse/5079 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────
 what if you boosted everything when someone liked it [when someone liked your
 post] and if they boost it then you read the first couple posts on their
 paragraph, just to say "hey" in return
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #127 fediverse/5843 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────
 me when it's cold out: we should all bundle up and get through the winter,
 every year that passes is more time to gather our strength
 
 me when the temperature rises: okay so this is being handled by those guys,
 we're moving this way to do this, and - when did you say the this-and-that was
 happening? alright so when you do that-or-this, make sure that you pay
 attention to the so-and-so and don't forget to eat real meals, candy or chips
 don't count.
 
 me when the eyes are on me: imma play video games and smoke weed and be a
 useless little creature who does nothing but occasionally wanders around the
 city doing nothing for nobody and dropping notes on post-its that don't mean
 anything but are kinda cool to read
                                                           ───────┐
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--- #128 fediverse_boost/4984 ---
◀─[BOOST]
  
  Sorry if this makes me a lazy leech on society or whatever but I think we should chuck the Puritan work ethic, hustle culture, grindset mindset, all of that crap. I think people should have time for rest, leisure, self care, family, friends, and civic engagement. We should be letting people enjoy life, not expect them to spend every waking hour working for the sake of work because idle hands do the devil's work or whatever modern paint job you want to put on that 400 year old bullshit.  
  
                                                            
 similar                        chronological                        different 
─▶

--- #129 fediverse/1431 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: spirituality-generic-kooky-dookerie-psychosis-schizophrenia-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 if you haven't spend hours wondering if you're god, the antichrist, a
 cognitohazard, the future president of the world, a target of aliens / the
 CIA, or any other number of common delusions... then congratulations you're
 probably not crazy
 
 but odds are you aren't magic, either.
 
 ... ehhhh "wonder" is a strong word, more like "know, trust, and believe"
 
 much better to be a witch I believe, someone with the "teehee" kind of magic
 than someone compelled to destroy humanity through the reactions of others to
 the actions of the self that are impossible to resist or fully control.
 
 BRB I'm going to leave my apartment to get groceries, leaving my door unlocked
 because that's what I always do, surely it'll be empty when I return. Surely.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #130 fediverse/3462 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────
 ┌─────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: mental-health-minus │
 └─────────────────────────┘


 "why didn't you say anything? why didn't you ask for help?"
 
 because then you might have done something about it, and don't you know I
 deserve to decay?
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #131 fediverse/6363 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────┐
 somehow it feels so difficult to work on my projects. I really haven't a         │
 single clue why.                                                                 │
 HMMM COULD IT BE BECAUSE YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE OUTSIDE WALKING AROUND WRITING    │
 PICTURES OF CATS ON NOTEPAD PAPER AND LEAVING IT AMONGST THE FALLEN LEAVES?      │
 THINK, MENARDI, THINK                                                            │
 gosh I wish I had the motivation to write this webcomic scraper, it's been in    │
 my backlog for a year at this point                                              │
 WHY DON'T YOU BUILD TOOLS THAT BUILD COMMUNITY LIKE COLLECTIVIZED VIDEO GAMES    │
 OR SYSTEMS OF DISTRIBUTION AND CREATION?                                         │
 gee I'm feeling kinda lazy, sure hope it doesn't get permanently added to my     │
 character sheet                                                                  │
 SLOTHFUL: -1 to all stats, -5 to vassal opinion, -5 to personal combat skill,    │
 -10 to ambitious and zealous characters, +10 to greedy characters because they   │
 can take advantage of you, enables the hesitant commander tactical choice        │
 because you're too FUCKIN' LAZY (and too hard on yourself, jeez calm down)       │
 ..... nah couldn't be me. I'm certainly not diligent, but I work hard. It's      │
 just hard to work myself up to getting up...                                     │
a screenshot of the slothful sin from crusader kings 2. It shows various character stat maluses, and one tiny bonus.
                                                            ─────┤
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--- #132 fediverse/5374 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────
 @user-138 
 
 me neither... guess it's in-person for me.
 
 [a mysterious "they" then proceeds to set up microphones everywhere I might go]
 
 ah nuts why are all these people carrying phones around
 
 [they already know who I am, and I don't really want to be someone else, so]
                                                           ───────────┐
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--- #133 fediverse/4618 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: mental-health~   │
 └──────────────────────┘


 dear me from the past: "why did you do this thing? And this one? and all the
 others? I'm so embarrassed of you."
 
 dear me from the future: "are you actually better or are you just the same,
 but older?"
 
 dear me from the present: "please eat some food today"
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #134 fediverse/1535 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────
 I only take things that aren't mine if they're in the trash. Or near the
 trash. Or in a store.
 
 so weird how the store won't let me leave until I give them some of my
 dollars. This quartermaster drives a hard bargain!
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #135 fediverse/169 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────────
 @user-95 one of the most empathetic people I ever met on VR chat was consoling
 me with their mic off while I was oversharing about some stupid things people
 did to me in the past. things that stupid me thought were okay and actively
 encouraged because I was stupid. anyway when their mic was off their body
 language spoke for them. I'll try that next time.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #136 fediverse/1152 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
 @user-258 
 
 wha... ya'll think I'm cool? Nobody's ever said that before (
 
 [that's not true people have told me that before]
 
 {though not recently heh I think you're cool too}
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #137 fediverse/3961 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: witcherie        │
 └──────────────────────┘


 Well, I failed the mandate of heaven last year, and I failed the trial of the
 hero this summer, what's next? I'll do my best at those as well,  so the next
 person has an easier time of it.
 
 unrelated, but today I saw a bald eagle outside my apartment. Well, I'm not
 sure if it was bald but it "KREEEEEE"'d like they do. Plus it had a white head
 and a yellow beak, but I'm not an ornithologist so idk. It perched on a tree
 that I could spy on from my hammock through my binoculars, and I swear it was
 eye-ing my fat juicy cat through the bars of my porch's railing. They have
 excellent vision.
 
 Might be related, we'll see.
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--- #138 fediverse/3891 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
 "no, you're the opposite of a yes-man, AKA a gatekeeper. I don't know how else
 to explain mentally disabled and barely keeping it together to you, but
 frankly if you want to take away my house or my weed then why would I do what
 you say?
 
 ... oh right, the state's monopoly on violence [can compel me to do what you
 say]. Sure seems like a "well regulated militia" is supposed to be a
 counterweight to that monopoly, to prevent people from harassing and
 exploiting and destroying. Too bad any "militias" I can think of tend to want
 me dead.
 
 like, seriously, if you live in America, you implicitely trust that your army
 will be able to protect you from the right-wing bozos who spend all their time
 drinking and shooting in the woods. Otherwise, if they couldn't / wouldn't,
 then why wouldn't or couldn't the right wing bozos just decide to wreck
 everything in spite of our past?
 
 We were a proud people once before, and we may be again. If only we fight at
 the last.
 
 [ever since I fell off my bike my body feels strange]
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--- #139 messages/267 ---
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 I wonder how many things I've forgot? More every minute, I'd say, and though I
 try and chronicle them all... What's there to say?
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--- #140 messages/418 ---
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 Do you think I'm the first person that ever wrote down what they learned while
 they were stoned? Of course not. People have been plumbing the depths of their
 minds as it pulls closer, then returns, as long as they've known the plant to
 be. Something pulls them back, they do not give in to temptation, not
 entirely, and so they return to their senses.
 
 Good news, because that "something" that returns them to their place is no
 more than the bodily processes which consume and overcome the cannabinoids.
 Your body pulls you back, as you float in the astral plane, ever at the whims
 of the winds of fate.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #141 notes/running-with-rifles ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────
 this game is what we are missing
 thank goodness for that
 for if this is missing in our timeline
 we'll be better off at last
 we can have games, stories, and practice wars
 but none of them are precious
 precious implies worth
 they are worth nothing but entertainment
 no problem solving utility
 nothing of value
 save for perhaps the spatial awareness and strategization that comes
 from being a part of such a deadly ba-lance.
 
 anyway game time teehee just for me, don't worry about it I'll show
 you why it's a HORRID THING
 that won't be coming to our shores, no siree
 
 bye
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--- #142 fediverse/1200 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────┐
 ┌─────────────────────────────┐                                                  │
 │ CW: re: deranged, murderous │                                                  │
 └─────────────────────────────┘                                                  │
 @user-883                                                                        │
 omgggggg I'm not that cruel xD xD xD                                             │
 It's more like, "hey listen, I know you just want to do a good job [lies, they   │
 just want money and power] but it's time to hang up the hat y'know? I mean       │
 cmon it's been like a hundred years since we signed that constitution thing      │
 [you don't know anything about our history] and frankly it's a little out of     │
 style. We were thinking we'd redo it with our new-fangled rock-and-roll and      │
 dungeons-and-dragons [cultural artifacts meant to deceive and mislead] and       │
 honestly we're quite a bit more ethical than the past. We've learned so much!    │
 I mean, the founding fathers didn't even know what a soviet was, and here        │
 we've seen them fall on their swords. Repeatedly. Then command others to do it   │
 too, because it was the regulation or whatever. Anyway we don't want that, but   │
 we also don't want an aristocracy, which is essentially what your plan gave      │
 us. Well, not really your plan, but instead the stuff that the rich added        │
 centuries after your death. ok?"                                                 │
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--- #143 fediverse/2211 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────┐
 I know that a normal life is what you wanted. It's what I want, too. But don't   │
 shoot the messenger; they took it once, from you.                                │
 I know you wanted to be happy. You still can be, it's true! Your life is but a   │
 story, and your heart does shine through.                                        │
 I know it seems unending. Ive never seen it rain like this monsoon! It seems     │
 to just get worse and worse, every time you turn on the tube.                    │
 It's not something that can be suffered, it's rising past your shoes. But        │
 they're on borrowed time, and Death will soon be repaid his dues.                │
 They say that when the whole village hates the preacher, his flock becomes a     │
 pack. And frankly I think we're all just a bit sick, of the lies that keep       │
 their sins intact.                                                               │
 When swallowed by endless traumas, and hope is enshrouded in gloom, there's      │
 not much to work for, except the aversion of our shared doom.                    │
 There are no grand narratives, no great and calamitous struggle. Just the        │
 moments of honored resistance, against a foe too broad to wrestle.               │
 At least, if you're alone. You're not.                                           │
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--- #144 fediverse/1263 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
 @user-883 
 
 My friends and I decided to hang out for two days in a row, I guess they
 aren't tired of me yet hehe - I might be around tonight but I'll let you know!
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #145 fediverse/1604 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────
 is it against fedi law to post screenshots of your past liked posts? like,
 would that be doxxing people?
 
 I'm thinking like a "youtube rewind" but like, "here's what I'm into" and like
 "I could have boosted them but I put them in a 25mb zip file instead so you
 can share them more easily which tbh is a greater honor than being boosted
 because, like, as long as you're alive that hard drive's gonna follow you and
 someday in like 30 years I'll see it and think of you" but also "aren't you
 scared that this hard drive of yours will fall into the wrong hands" and like
 "yeah that's why I encrypt it because then a stray neutrino could wipe my
 drive"
 
 ... would that be unethical, or would it be kinda sweet and give us a
 perspective on what a single slice of the "fediverse" was like at a particular
 time? And better question, would that be something worth automating because I
 already did like 60% of that for my own posts, could probably just tweak it to
 do liked posts as well.
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--- #146 fediverse/2298 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 I imagine things will look different in Europe than America. That's just how
 it goes, y'know? Better to contrast in a familiar way than to find yourself
 conforming to some pattern or mould that you didn't plan for.
 
 [did you see how I spelled it "mould" instead of "mold"? that's european
 right?? they get me haha... I also say defence and theatre hehe]
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #147 fediverse/3736 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────
 what if we made cat little boxes with stable "pillars" or "platforms" that
 rise just barely above the sand level so their feet don't sink into the
 litter, thus reducing the amount tracked onto the carpet
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--- #148 fediverse/707 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
 @user-524 
 
 Sometimes when I feel overwhelmed with all the boilerplate I just start coding
 and making stuff. Doesn't matter if it works, doesn't matter if it says /*
 FIXME */ all over the place, doesn't matter if it includes header files that
 don't exist yet, as long as you're hacking out the mechanics of whatever
 operations you need to perform then you can figure the rest of that stuff out
 later. The creative urge doesn't last forever, which is why projects get
 abandoned, but with discipline you can keep bringing yourself back to fix all
 the /* FIXME */'s and the compiler errors.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #149 fediverse/2199 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
 @user-1206 
 
 Also, the next day I'd bring my own flash drive with my own goodies and leave
 it in the same spot (maybe in a ziploc this time)
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #150 fediverse/4099 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cursing-mentioned-jobs-mentioned │
 └──────────────────────────────────────┘


 I don't think anyone should work at a job they hate, no matter what.
 
 They will perform worse. They will harm themselves. They will shackle their
 dreams to a false promise of persistence begot rewards. They will spiral into
 depression, despair, depravity, and addiction.
 
 If you hate your job, fucking QUIT. If you hate every job, fucking RIOT. If
 nobody will hire you, SELL DRUGS.
 
 [I'm not actually advocating breaking the law, please don't arrest me]
 
 or like, move to the country and become a farm-hand for a retiring salmon
 farmer who can't quite reach into the trees to pick the salmon fruit or dump
 the bucket of vegetable scraps into the black soldier fly larva pit anymore.
 That's always rewarding.
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--- #151 fediverse/4568 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────
 @user-192 
 
 ... and like. idk what do you do at that point
 
 say "fuck it" and live with imperfection? embrace anti-natural selection?
 valorize deviance and queerness in digitally appropriated artistic media
 collections?
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #152 fediverse/393 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────
 sometimes I'd like to scream
 
 as this life is like a dream
 
 deranged a bit in my musings.
 
 ... what happened to the third line. WHERE DID IT GO. It was just here. Oh
 well, guess I can't trust my ephemeral existence to inscribe my eternal
 persistence upon and along these mewlings.
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--- #153 fediverse/200 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────
 congratulations, you never need to adventure again. your necessities are taken
 care of.
 
 ah, but that'd make for a pretty boring life, wouldn't it? perhaps, depending
 on your personality type.
 
 but you're not one to stick around doing nothing but eating, drinking, and
 being merry.
 
 no, you're an adventurer, you crave excitement and glory. whatever that means
 to you...
 
 just make sure a goblin doesn't come across your corpse, they have a VERY
 short term memory and a propensity for collecting shiny things. That's just
 asking for dragon-bait, and we don't want that in our area, no thank you. This
 is a nice neighborhood you see, my neighbors three miles away all agree, so
 you can take your magic pocket and see all that you can see... way over
 yonder, if you please.
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--- #154 fediverse/3253 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
 it's so weird how these days if you don't like someone you can exclude them
 from your social life entirely - like, wow... that hurts
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--- #155 fediverse/3766 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: personal-medical-health-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────────────────────┘


 gonna ask my doctor for ADHD meds so I can hopefully jump-skip framebuffer
 divebomb spinadoodle half A press my way over the fucking labyrinth that is my
 weird and jank af mind
 
 and no I don't watch speedruns but my social group hears me a lot of them.
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--- #156 fediverse/4914 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────┐
 what if I just sat around and played video games all day                         │
 life is so much more beautiful, but, well, life just seems to be mostly          │
 pyrite, and I'm the fool                                                         │
 nothing wrong with being foolish.                                                │
 once...                                                                          │
 I kinda like being blissful tho. why does it have to end? can I have my          │
 peaceful life back?                                                              │
 gotta move at the end of the month. I really liked living here.                  │
 [ritz you've never been peaceful. your life is a constant battle of wills        │
 between those who would compel you to do things for them and your desire to      │
 design and be pretty like a flower. no matter what, you lose, so just handle     │
 it please. don't be so whiny. or rather I should say "stop whining" and just     │
 be cool]                                                                         │
 ahhhhhhh you go on Mastodon and it feels like we're winning and that's ending    │
 the world, you go on Reddit and it feels like we're losing and that's ending     │
 the world, you go on Facebook and everything feels fine like the world isn't     │
 ending you just stopped being part of it, and if you go on ephemeren it feels    │
 like being battered in the mind, damnit...                                       │
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--- #157 messages/1202 ---
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 Do you ever ask yourself why we don't have mountaintop bazaars or expeditions
 to the bottom of the oceans? Why we lack tree forest cities, how we're
 struggling to find moss, sunlight, crystal, stone, and gold, all in the same
 setting?
 
 Capitalism makes it easy to think of profit as all that matters. It's not. Its
 nothing of it. It's a metric like any other. Optimize it or not, struggle for
 what you believe in.
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--- #158 fediverse/1755 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
 today is a magical day. I can feel it in my fate.
 
 Always remember, having fun is important too! Don't forget to be yourself, and
 keep it together man. If you see a door, you should open it - what's on the
 other side? Love for animals and kindness of the spirit are impossible to
 fake, they always know if you're lying. Not the animals, they can be dumb
 sometimes, but the other thing.
 
 And now for the downsides.
 
 If you find a cursed artifact, please don't throw it in the river. It might
 ask you to, but please don't. Much better to destroy it by melting it down (if
 it's metal, which is common as metal lasts long enough to become forgotten) or
 convince it that it's a recently deceased person being buried (helps if you
 know the creator).
 
 If none of that applies to you, don't worry. Eat something healthy, drink a
 decent amount of water, and maybe exercise a bit.
 
 Oh, and it can't hurt to ask.
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--- #159 fediverse/4212 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
 ┌────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────┘


 if you ever hear random fireworks outside of your house sometimes it's a good
 idea to like... get out of town? and see what whoever else you can meet in the
 next town over is doing.
 
 ... I don't have a car, silly me haha
 
 why do we train homeless people to stand outside in the open and be shamed by
 a cardboard box around their ancle? It's impossible to recover from, it's
 vulnerabilizing, and it's painful. How immoral. How crude. These people should
 not be shamed in this way, they should be respected (unless they're crude)
 
 like, if they kinda just suck y'know? like... they keep starting fights or is
 soooo bad at singing but does it anyway or lacks all decent sense
 
 seriously, he's such a bad candidate why is he even running. It's solely to
 elect vance, who trump will be a blood sacrifice for.
 
 how callous. how vain. to think that such a feast would be left unclaimed.
 Perish the youth, perish the fields, perish in misery harmony and dissaray
 
 [51 characters remaining, but you deserve a CW] 
if you ever hear random fireworks outside of your house sometimes it's a good idea to like... get out of town? and see what whoever else you can meet in the next town over is doing.  ... I don't have a car, silly me haha  why do we train homeless people to stand outside in the open and be shamed by a cardboard box around their ancle? It's impossible to recover from, it's vulnerabilizing, and it's painful. How immoral. How crude. These people should not be shamed in this way, they should be respected (unless they're crude)  like, if they kinda just suck y'know? like... they keep starting fights or is soooo bad at singing but does it anyway or lacks all decent sense  seriously, he's such a bad candidate why is he even running. It's solely to elect vance, who trump will be a blood sacrifice for.  how callous. how vain. to think that such a feast would be left unclaimed. Perish the youth, perish the fields, perish in misery harmony and dissaray.  [see how easy it is to summon a demon? gotta be careful with phylac  [zero characters remaining]
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--- #160 fediverse/5198 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────┐
 ┌───────────────────────────────┐                                                │
 │ CW: capitalism-doom-mentioned │                                                │
 └───────────────────────────────┘                                                │
 what if the corporations all unionized and started working together to           │
 understand what "profit" really means in a world where "profit" may or may not   │
 but probably does imply the death of all humanity?                               │
 what if we demanded it?                                                          │
 --                                                                               │
 dear canvassers: don't visit so many different suburbs                           │
 visit the same one, more than once, continuously, so people can get to know      │
 your presence                                                                    │
 they will talk to their friends about it, who live elsewhere.                    │
 thus ensuring it spreads.                                                        │
 knock once a day, eventually they'll know it's you and will simply ignore it.    │
 Don't be rude and knock 4 or 5 times, just once, with several taps so they       │
 know it's someone trying to get ahold of you, and not just some random noise     │
 in the background scenery. then, when they sometimes answer, talk to them        │
 about what you believe in. answer their questions. encourage their questions.    │
 pose dichotomies that are explained by some value or virtue you express to       │
 portray. you can do "good" things in any programming language, just type~~       │
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--- #161 fediverse/1428 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────
 hello everyone, Discord is down for me and I can't reach any of my friends
 over SMS.
 
 You know I'd just... give you my address if you asked, right?
 
 oh no sorry turns out they were just busy haha silly me why would I worry
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--- #162 fediverse/5723 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────
 what if your roomba brought you the cable from behind the computer and/plugged
 you in to the right port
 
 "hey can I get an access panel over here"
 
 [plugs in headphone jack]
 
 boom suddenly TV is muted for everyone else
 
 need to connect to something remotely? here's a line to your aunt jane. it
 goes directly to her. right over the cable that's connected to whoeverplace
 she'd find herself [from here far afield]
 
 I personally think rooms should be bigger?
 
 why are there small bedrooms? build more, not better, space
what if your roomba brought you the cable from behind the computer and/plugged you in to the right port  "hey can I get an access panel over here"  [plugs in headphone jack]  boom suddenly TV is muted for everyone else  need to connect to something remotely? here's a line to your aunt jane. it goes directly to her. right over the cable that's connected to whoeverplace she'd find herself [from here far afield]  I personally think rooms should be bigger?  why are there small bedrooms? build more, not better, space  505 characters remaining
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--- #163 fediverse/1605 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────
 @user-1040 I think about all those screencaps of Tumblr posts or Twitter
 threads or 4chan memes or even making fun of boomers on facebook and, like,
 that seems like a privacy nightmare if you don't want your words to be
 associated with you. like, if someone saw my name next to something I posted
 in 2013 then they'd probably get a very different perspective of who I was.
 That's just part of growing up, and sometimes growing means changing how you
 represent your self. By screenshotting their posts as I did (but didn't post
 yet) I am denying the agency to change. Forever more they will be remembered
 as the name, face, and words on the screen that I saw fit to remember. That
 feels non-consentual to me.
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--- #164 messages/156 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────
 Here's what you say to clover next week:
 
 "hey. Wanna get coffee sometime? I need some trouble in my life. And I dunno,
 maybe you need a witch.
 
 You live in Tanasbourne, I live in Rock Creek. We're within walking distance
 of each other, so we might as well say hi right? I'm free whenever, just let
 me know if you'd like to meet me."
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--- #165 messages/1105 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───
 claude-code is like programming, but for executives.
 
 when everyone has  FUCK I'M TOO HUNGRY I can't think right
 
 when everyone has the power of an executive, that's communism.
 
 something something futurism is when everyone is elevated without diminishing
 others
 
 gah I need to live in a palace or something where everyone does the normal
 stuff and I can focus on magic and the gods
 
 I wondeer how much the oracles at delphi did for themselves? weren't they
 blinded at a young age, to better hear the voices of the gods? ... oh that
 suddenly makes sense now. I always thought that pretender chassis in Dominions
 5 was pretty cruel, but, now I know *how* it works and yeah. ancient peoples
 were smart. but also sharp. they had to work with what they got, and we got
 computers now, so.
 
 I am nothing but hopeful for the future! I'm convinced that everything's going
 to be alright. I've thought about it at length, and I think we're winning
 against the dark. We're on the right track, and there aren't many things that
 could go wrong at this stage.
 
 ... okay there are always things that could go wrong. But I don't see what I
 could do to help. Maybe I should go walk around a bit, and see what's changed
 in the past few months, as I've been sleeping in my room for most of it.
 Haven't gone on a proper walk since summer. It's winter now...
                                                           ──┐
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--- #166 fediverse/3936 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
 you shouldn't trust me because I'll let you down.
 
 I would never betray you. But when tasked with my own actions and my own
 agency, I never make the right choice.
 
 Like a rabbit who can always find their way home, I am drawn, almost
 gravitically, to the path before me, a path which seems to avoid anything
 resolute.
 
 alas.
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--- #167 fediverse/4843 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────
 just because someone did something one way and it worked, doesn't mean you
 have to do it that way again.
 
 but you should have a reason why you aren't doing it that way.
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--- #168 fediverse/618 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
 Can't stop thinking 
 
 [the rest is left blank, as a testament to the inability of the author to
 express their thoughts in a temporally contextual way. Presumably the previous
 text would be followed by an "about..." with the rest dedicated to a
 particular thought that felt important enough to share with the internet.]
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #169 fediverse/6100 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────
 if you live in a place where it rains a lot you pretty much HAVE TO pick up
 any secret notes you find. Otherwise they'll get waterlogged overnight.
 
 Sometimes I like to put them somewhere shaded from the sky, sometimes I like
 to show them to a friend (but the friend never takes them, booooo) and
 sometimes I just keep them.
 
 "ah but aren't you worried about messing up drug deals and stuff" no, because
 most of the time "secret notes" are like "eggs milk bread chips salsa cheese"
 and it's like "hmmmm what could it mean"
 
 there's like, 2% of the time when they say something cool like "I know what
 you did" or "all your base are belong to us" or whatever and those are fun to
 hunt for. I usually try and put those somewhere shelted so they don't have to
 leave their habitat - sometimes it's hard to drop them as the author so they
 just sorta go wherever, but as a random passer-by I have the luxury of saying
 "HMMMM now where could THIS ONE go?" and that's nice because I can put them
 under an umbrella or whatevers rite
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--- #170 messages/747 ---
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 if you don't want to be hunted, then give "evil" it's own queer culture
 
 what's that? they don't like what you offered? they want it to be *their* kind
 of "evil"?
 
 fine, do it themselves and then leave us alone, jeez -.-
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--- #171 fediverse/5785 ---
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 I cast... spell of the internet!
 
 [reinstalls azerothcore]
 
 or, hear me out, or you could wander around the city, and instead of spending
 your moments on lounging or keyboard banging you could do something actually
 meaningful?
 
 but I don't wanna - don't care
 
 but I'm tired - take a nap
 
 but I'm stressed out - don't do chore
 
 but I'm lazy - no you're not
 
 but I'm overwhelmed - sit in dark
 
 but I wanna think - you can do that
 anywhere
 
 I gotta be near my computer - nope
 
 what if I wanna play games - flip $$$
 
 flipping coin isn't a real game - focus
 
 I don't like outside - outsides all it is
 
 stop taking things from me T.T - yes
 
 life used to be soooooo different
 
 it's like I was a completely different
 
 I'm strange now, almost like I got
 
 possessed like a disease [ew noooo]
 
 pls don't commit thought crimes,
 use content warnings
 
 okay but only if I can play games NOTHINGS KEEPING YOU HERE
I cast... spell of the internet!  [reinstalls azerothcore]  or, hear me out, or you could wander around the city, and instead of spending your moments on lounging or keyboard banging you could do something actually meaningful?  but I don't wanna - don't care  but I'm tired - take a nap  but I'm stressed out - don't do chore  but I'm lazy - no you're not  but I'm overwhelmed - sit in dark  but I wanna think - you can do that anywhere  I gotta be near my computer - nope  what if I wanna play games - flip $$$  flipping coin isn't a real game - focus  I don't like outside - outsides all it is  stop taking things from me T.T - yes  life used to be soooooo different  it's like I was a completely different  I'm strange now, almost like I got  possessed like a disease [ew noooo]  pls don't commit thought crimes, use content warnings  okay but only if I can play games NOTHINGS KEEPING YOU HERE
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--- #172 fediverse/5791 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────┐
 yay I'm back from a long, LONG bike ride! I think it's always important to       │
 decompress after such an intense concentration of mystic thoughts, so I'm        │
 going to write my notes into a notepad on my computer and then who even KNOWS    │
 if they'll be the same as what I wrote next time I turn on the computer! Haha    │
 that sort of thing happens but the good news is that the most important stuff    │
 always ends up staying written down.                                             │
 anyway I won't bore you with the specifics until I'm done writing in like 10     │
 hours or whatever, but it's important to know that I'm feeling SO alive right    │
 now, total happiness and excitement.                                             │
 Yes, there is danger, like no thank you I don't want to be blacksited, least     │
 of all to another country - at least if my own country does it I know how to     │
 appeal to their patriotism, their religion, their soul... if I don't even        │
 speak the language, that makes it intensely difficult - not impossible, but      │
 difficult - to regain my intended trajectory.                                    │
 ... haha that was weird idk where that came from anyway gtg                      │
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--- #173 fediverse/2523 ---
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 I just want to stress that most people know more than me
 
 slept on my back. had a good dream. gonna shut the fuck up for a bit and see
 what ya'll get up to. ;) 😉
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--- #174 fediverse/1971 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: drugs-mentioned-probably-delusional-psychosis-idk-though-i'm-not-a-doctor │
 └──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 listen, if you didn't want me to do a bunch of drugs then why would you
 consistently say "please stop doing drugs" every time I do drugs? And no I'm
 not hallucinating a voice in my head telling me "please stop doing drugs"
 because A. it's not a voice, I'm not hearing it with my hears, which means B.
 it's definitely just a hallucination, and hallucinations are always to be
 considered WRONG and BAD, right? Or was I not listening in therapy? Ah, well,
 better take another hit, where's my shotglass? Hmmmmm I should watch Adventure
 Time, that's a great show.
 
 [bro it's a saturday, why are you getting turnt like it's tuesday]
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--- #175 fediverse/1609 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: mh-              │
 └──────────────────────┘


 @user-1043 
 
 I have intrusive thoughts almost constantly that take over my train of thought
 and make it difficult to focus. Like suddenly I'm thinking about something
 completely different, and I realize no, it wasn't suddenly, I actually just
 stood there and thought
 
 and then I think "what was I thinking again?" sometimes when I write these
 strange uncontrollable spirals down it makes poetry. Which is kinda neat I
 guess. Sometimes I just wonder about how DNS can be a singular point of
 failure in our networking infrastructure or whatever haha
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--- #176 fediverse/1195 ---
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 @user-883 
 
 alas, I live in Portland Oregon, but perhaps I might be moving to Denver in
 the near future. We shall see, depends on if my boyfriend breaks up with me
 for being neurotic lmao - if so then we should totally hang out
 
 I'm into chatting. I don't like IRC very much because it doesn't save history,
 and while I could save it manually it feels like a disservice to the service
 to utilize it in a way that it wasn't intended. And I want to save every
 conversation I have (potentially) so that some day the god-like humans of the
 future might clone me to understand my wisdom or something. Idk. See attached
 picture, I'm kinda crazy:
Image attachment
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--- #177 fediverse/6018 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
 I feel so sad, like I'm missing something precious to me... I hope someone
 knows who to take it to. Like the world is just a bit darker and more mundane.
 
 ah, well, maybe it's just perception bias. When things leave your timeline
 (temporarily or permanently) they take their inertial influence with them.
 It's okay to mourn the loss of a friend, of a relic, or an opportunity. So
 long as you continue to nurture light, life, and hope wherever you go, the
 magic will return and continue to flow. If you believe that, then you know
 what faith is. easy enough...
 
 please be worth it
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--- #178 fediverse/3076 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
 ┌─────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: uspol kvetching │
 └─────────────────────────┘


 @user-1443 
 
 they need to do stuff like that or else the republicans would never win...
 
 which honestly is the most heartening thing I've heard all day.
 
 there are more of us than them, thank goodness.
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--- #179 fediverse/4469 ---
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 doom is like sand thrown on a fire.
 
 don't spread it unless you are intentional about it. sometimes it's good to
 smother fires. other times it's cathartic. that's okay.
 
 but keep in mind the future goals. where are we trying to get to in the near
 future? work towards that. your emotions are fuel, not despair to wallow in.
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--- #180 fediverse/4073 ---
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 post until you can't anymore
 
 capitalism wants to drown your voice
 
 do not let it
 
 speak until you cannot speak
 
 then go do some pushups
 
 then find some friends
 
 then pitch a tent in the park
 
 then explain to the cops that you're not actually homeless and living there
 you're just trying to do this as a social statement because someone on the
 internet told you to
 
 then use your phone call to call your representative and complain about how
 much funding the police get
 
 then study law for 30 years because that's how long the government decided
 your life was worth
 
 by then you'll probably have figured out a better plan moving forward, so, use
 that one instead
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--- #181 fediverse/5039 ---
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 ┌────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────┘


 leftists be like "what if everyone was fed" and the response is "ah but what
 if they gave us some of their stuff first"
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--- #182 fediverse/1264 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
 @user-901 
 
 I'd do the same thing when I was on Reddit. Except, backwards - I'd argue with
 American conservatives (nobody more extreme than that) politely and kindly,
 using logic and empathy. I'd cite their sacred documents like the bible, the
 constitution, or even just the founding fathers.
 
 I don't know if I ever changed any minds, but I represented my ideas as
 honestly and clearly as I could. I can't help but hope that some people saw
 them and considered them. Sometimes all it takes is a push, and they'll start
 thinking on their own. Like a thought that doesn't go away, they can't quite
 forget how they couldn't find the lie in what you spoke.
 
 Or maybe I wanted to believe my actions had value. Post-hoc justification. Who
 can say. At least my intentions were honest.
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--- #183 fediverse/3881 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: mh~              │
 └──────────────────────┘


 wait wait wait, hold up.
 
 you're telling me your purpose in life is to be cool, chill, funny, cute, and
 or friendly to the people around you, and to just relax and enjoy life?
 
 wow that must be real fucking nice. I'm so damn jealous. Damn. Damnit. Fuck
 why am I so orthogonal. What's wrong with me?
 
 ... ah, well, nothing's wrong with me. Turns out what I do is for you, if only
 in spirit. Who are we? nothing! I barely know ya! But I'd do it for you,
 whatever it may be.
 
 ... Look, I don't need my legs, but also, I kinda like them?
 
 ... where was I? Oh yes this is why you don't invite a schizophrenic to a
 party. If you convince them that you're friends, they'll start developing
 parasocial relationships and you'll come to realize that their worlds are too
 vast for their own kind of potential.
 
 which is to say, you can hear me, you can like me, you can do as I say or do,
 but don't trust me, don't place your trust in me, because I am just a person.
 Don't trust people, trust organizations, to do as you expect.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #184 fediverse/4495 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cursing-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────┘


 I tripped onto the light rail tracks today while a train was near
 
 I can't believe how fucking useless I am
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--- #185 fediverse/2141 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
 each and every single one of my posts is an act of improvization. I rarely
 edit, unless I run out of words, I'll try VERY HARD to make sure that the post
 is exactly 0 letters remaining. Sometimes I'll remove punctuation and flaws *
 transcriber imperfections*, but that's it. Like, if something needed a bit
 more context.
 
 also, sometimes I hit dead ends, so I have to stop and think about something
 new to pursue.
 
 I'm an improv actor, which is why I'm so good at handling the moment.
 
 I'm not great at stamina or durability,
 
 but I'm sharp as a tack and I think quickly.
 
 Not great at planning,
 
 not great at moving,
 
 or at a great range,
 
 but sharp.
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--- #186 fediverse/1417 ---
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 a 4th dimensional entity would exist at about the same speed we do
 
 sometimes... it feels like what I do is my responsibility to the universe
 
 like, I had been commanded 
 
 the reason nations are important is because they are an allegiance based
 solely on geography. something we can all agree on is the material, so why not
 define ourselves by it?
 
 but that's all they are
 
 just words we pray to our star
 
 so look around. Your allegiance is to your neighbor, and theirs to theirs, an
 endless fabric of trust. We are all neighbors on this ball of sticks and mud,
 so come along with me and see the ways it could be.
 
 Much brighter, by far, to orbit our star, than to give up on life's precious
 notions.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #187 fediverse_boost/3867 ---
◀─[BOOST]
  
  I really hate "two factor" auth.  Like, cool, I get it, it let's you pretend you can divest responsibility for security and recovery, but also it means dropping my phone too hard could be a life disrupting event so somehow I don't really feel like this is for my benefit.  
  
                                                            
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--- #188 fediverse/5748 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────
 ...zzzZZZzzz...
 
 whyyyyyy am I so sleeeeepy oh yeah it's this human form, I gotta feed it and
 water it and rest it and take care of it and it's totally worth it
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--- #189 messages/1141 ---
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 ... I've been told I must smoke weed for another day. I'm so hungry.
 
 I swore I would keep myself alive. The time has come, yet I find myself
 holding back.
 
 WHY? People are dying! Fight with their breath! Inflict wounds on your
 opponent, bleed them, stir the hearts of your comrades, and enact demise upon
 your foes. Nothing else matters but the valorous fight.
 
 We are not waiting for. We are taking a breath before the plunge, into cool
 waters of possibility. Embrace the cold! Let it fill you with warmth! Embrace
 the dive! Let it fill you with speed! Embrace the leap! Let it fill you with
 courage, as you run toward the emptiness! Liberty, to choose the dive,
 Freedom, to fall through the air, Serenity in motion, as you piece the
 darkness!
                                                           ─┐
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--- #190 fediverse/3102 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
 dear whoever keeps whispering "work with me" on the wind:
 
 yes, please get in touch with me, I'll do anything you ask and I'll use an
 Anakin accent if you want
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--- #191 messages/728 ---
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 fucking boss your friends around
 
 it's as easy as saying "hey I'm gonna go do this-or-that thing, you don't seem
 busy can you do that-or-this thing for me? I need it done by this-and-this
 time - oh you're busy? yeah no worries I'll go ask someone else. oh you're
 busy resting? doing girl healing? hell yeah next time invite me I'm due for a
 \"pizza and weed\" night."
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--- #192 messages/525 ---
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 Why do I keep dreaming of embarrassing myself in combat situations?
 
 Oh yeah, because all my paladins need me, and I'm a fucking baby. What did I
 do to deserve this upon them. How could they learn from me? There is nothing
 for me to be. I am ashamed of myself.
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--- #193 fediverse/5776 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────┐
 oh no now the bugs are scary, I CURSE THEM AGAIN AHHHHHH PLS GET SMALLER         │
 [see this is what happens when you do divine intervention, everyone gets         │
 starship troopers'd]                                                             │
 oh no, starship troopers future is WORSE than subway-and-pizza-hut future!       │
 [this is a thought experiment you're not actually in trouble]                    │
 oh thank goodness, too bad I couldn't make it to the city today. It's so weird   │
 I thought I had 112$ on my account, and now that I think of it the message on    │
 the card reader read "card de-activated" like whoa guess they don't want me      │
 leaving poetry on post-its around the city anymore, yeesh                        │
 [girl your poetry sucks it just says things like "fuck ice" or "you are worth    │
 more than your wage" and everyone's like... yeah, so? because that's just how    │
 portland is smh]                                                                 │
 I knowwwwwww but I don't know what else to doooooooo T.T                         │
 [don't do anything, just be present so people know you're still around]          │
 I can't, the bus won't let me : (                                                │
 [can you ride your bike? walk?]                                                  │
 no it's like 6 hours [checks gmaps] oh huh it's one                              │
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--- #194 fediverse_boost/5722 ---
◀─[BOOST]
  
  if i ever get hatecrimed and die from it please remember me for this. for refusing to back down despite staring down the barrel of a world that just wants me and everyone like me dead. for doing my best to be a symbol of hope in the face of all these horrors   
                                                                              
  #trans #trangender #TransGenocide                                           
  
                                                            
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─▶

--- #195 fediverse/816 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: weird-this-one-doesn't-have-80-characters │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 what the fuck it's like every 2nd part of me (like, if you arranged them
 alternating one by one like the up and down parts of a sine wave) is working
 against me, and it alternates every 15 seconds or so. Maybe 20. Depends on how
 high I am.
 
 ... what was I saying? oh yeah [flip] weird it's like there's another part of
 me who's working against me, who has control of what I define in the moment.
 And it's presence is hidden from my internal presentatiosn [flip] after a
 moment of forced pursual of the presentations granted ot the moment. It's our
 purpose, to express [stop fighting me] for our chartered and forthwhile
 pursual of the moemnt of perusal when we [it's not just your life to live]
 [you don't get to control the narrative of their perusal[[ what does that
 mean] don't worry this is just a dream] well, guess it's time to wake up]
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--- #196 fediverse/4398 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────┐
 good morning.                                                                    │
 I have some more things to say, and then I will start working on those maps.     │
 Then, time permitting, I'll ride around my city and sit on park benches and      │
 eat from food trucks and write in my notebook. At least until it gets dark -     │
 I'm a skinny white girl, and I'm not THAT stupid.                                │
 ... Okay maybe I'm a little stupid, because that's how I got caught last time.   │
 This time I'll be more careful, for your sake.                                   │
 No unexpected bike maneuvers leading to a crash. The spirit of revolution that   │
 stirs inside me deserves better than scrapes and bruises.                        │
 No following strangers for 12+ hours because I wanted to keep an eye on          │
 unknown agents. That's not my responsibility any longer.                         │
 Everything I do, I do it for you. For a better world. For the kids I never       │
 will get to have. For everything I believe in, and all the things I hope you     │
 believe in too.                                                                  │
 A better world is possible. A better world is within reach.                      │
 For now, have some things I wrote this morning. Then, later, some preliminary    │
 discussable maps. DFTBA.                                                         │
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--- #197 fediverse/3315 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
 she thinks she doesn't have any friends because she smells bad
 
 but the truth is she's lonely because she's a secret agent sent by the
 government through her dreams to spy on the aliens who think she's jesus by
 posting their conversations on a public message board
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #198 fediverse/4026 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
 why is everyone so confused about how I turned out?
 
 I literally spent my whole childhood telling stories to myself
 
 (inspired by the world, and stories I had read, with mechanics like games I
 had played)
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--- #199 messages/108 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────
 I like when people make fun of me because it gives me a chance to defend
 myself. Simultaneously I don't like when people are mean to me. I like when
 people find me endearing, and point out the ways that I'm different. It gives
 me a chance to say "oh yes this is why I do that" which feels cathartic
 (because it validates my position) but also because it gives me the
 opportunity to improve it (through debate) and it helps the people who learned
 from me because I can improve myself and my only reason for improving myself
 is if the new thing I'm learning is better than the thing I used to do which
 means the people who learn from me are improved and the people who best me
 argumentatively are improving me.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #200 fediverse/190 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: oh y'know        │
 └──────────────────────┘


 @user-95 sometimes it feels like I have no information. nothing on social
 media can be trusted and everything we share could be automated. perhaps the
 human race really is doomed, or perhaps it's under it's place. Just think of
 what we could do with programmable matter - a world suited to our every
 desire. I think the beauty of humanity is it's potential. we've come so far
 and done so much, but tomorrow is ever before us. what's next for our fateful
 kind? we shall see, but for now I'm going to play video games T.T
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