=== ANCHOR POEM ===
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│ CW: re: politics-fascism-sexual-assault-mentioned │
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now that the pain is healed all I want to do is spend time with him. I learned
SO MUCH from him and then I called him a saboteur T.T
(babe you're still healing)
I forgave him as he was doing it but forgiveness doesn't imply that you're
gonna stick around. I feel bad for running through.
if a person tells you what to do and then hurts you, you should probably do
the opposite right? that's just pavlovian - resist pain, avoid pain, remove
pain.
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=== SIMILARITY RANKED ===
--- #1 fediverse/100 ---
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@user-119 @autisticadvocacy I couldn't live with myself if I wasn't the
kindest, most heartfelt person I could be. The simplest mistake has me in
sorrow. When I hurt someone's feelings I can't help but try to rectify what
harms I caused and apologize and console for those I cannot fix. I try to be
gracious and welcoming to all hearts and minds, and when presented with
arguments that are contrary to my beliefs I change them. "If what you say
about X study and Y statistic, then you're right that Z conclusion makes
sense. I'm worried about A cause and I believe it might cause B effect, which
would still make sense if X and Y are true. I think you might be right! And it
would make sense that C is present still, wouldn't it?" Basically trying to
understand another's point of view so concretely that you cannot help but
understand their viewpoints. I'm also pretty good at understanding their
viewpoints and changing their mind, because I can feel what's important to
them. Empathy is like human telepathy.
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--- #2 fediverse/3846 ---
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│ CW: trauma~ │
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@user-1074
today I had someone ask me for an apology. They've asked several times before,
and each time I've only been able to give them a half-apology - I apologized
for being persistent, but not for being impulsive, and that wasn't good enough.
I can't help being impulsive! I'm adventurous! I crave excitement and joy!
But I'm sorry that I pushed him too hard. I'm sorry I hurt him. And...
apparently that's not good enough. He doesn't want me in his life, he can't
fucking let it go. And he calls me selfish. Says I don't respect him, based on
one night out of 5 years where I tried too hard to get him to enjoy life.
I'm sorry I can't fix your depression, guy, but like, at least I tried. You
could have at least tried the things I suggested. You could have at least
tried to follow my advice.
whatever.
it was literally just a walk in the park
... anyway I am often wrong. I often correct my past self. I always apologize
for hurting people, but I never apologize for doing what I believe is right.
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--- #3 fediverse/3434 ---
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│ CW: mental-health-minus │
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me: "I don't care what anyone thinks as long as I'm a force for good"
also me: "if anyone doesn't like me ever I'll throw myself off a bridge"
also me: "hey watch this" dissolves into a puddle of acid
also me: "the most important thing is to be good and learn lessons" what
lessons are you learning from this post? "um. that I shouldn't?" ... shouldn't
learn? "no, shouldn't post" -.-
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--- #4 fediverse/169 ---
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@user-95 one of the most empathetic people I ever met on VR chat was consoling
me with their mic off while I was oversharing about some stupid things people
did to me in the past. things that stupid me thought were okay and actively
encouraged because I was stupid. anyway when their mic was off their body
language spoke for them. I'll try that next time.
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--- #5 notes/what-are-breakups-for ---
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listen... if you break up with a friend, OF COURSE you should cry.
OF COURSE you'll be sad.
it's okay.
it's natural. it's human.
don't feel sad about the pain. feel the pain.
brb getting smashed
(okay but please put some clothes on)
-.- fine
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I can't fucking relax
the only thing I can think of is defeating fascism
this fucking sucks
I just want to cry about my boyfriend of what, 6 years??
jeez
like.... yeah I'm flawed
*of course* I'm flawed
I'm a human being
humans are imperfect
... ugh
er, sorry, "bleurg"
I'm going to eat a burrito
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alright ate an edible. 20mg. had 2 beers. that's enough for me.
see ya soon. I swear to you, I will be there tomorrow. and every day
henceforth.
... unless I'm taking a day off, like yesterday, which TBH was probably not
ideal.
I swear I'll be better.
there are no false starts, only probing strikes.
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--- #6 fediverse/2211 ---
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║ I know that a normal life is what you wanted. It's what I want, too. But don't │
║ shoot the messenger; they took it once, from you. │
║ │
║ I know you wanted to be happy. You still can be, it's true! Your life is but a │
║ story, and your heart does shine through. │
║ │
║ I know it seems unending. Ive never seen it rain like this monsoon! It seems │
║ to just get worse and worse, every time you turn on the tube. │
║ │
║ It's not something that can be suffered, it's rising past your shoes. But │
║ they're on borrowed time, and Death will soon be repaid his dues. │
║ │
║ They say that when the whole village hates the preacher, his flock becomes a │
║ pack. And frankly I think we're all just a bit sick, of the lies that keep │
║ their sins intact. │
║ │
║ When swallowed by endless traumas, and hope is enshrouded in gloom, there's │
║ not much to work for, except the aversion of our shared doom. │
║ │
║ There are no grand narratives, no great and calamitous struggle. Just the │
║ moments of honored resistance, against a foe too broad to wrestle. │
║ │
║ At least, if you're alone. You're not. │
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--- #7 fediverse/5860 ---
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Hey, life is better on my side. If you wanna renounce your beliefs, please do,
and tell me how and why you changed your mind.
tell me it was wrong. tell me how.
confess.
confess
confess to me.
I will listen and I will hear you and I will be the mercy for you.
confess and I will forgive.
show me how you are wrong.
give grace to those who are wronged.
take as much time as you need, but, there's only so much time.
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--- #8 fediverse/2524 ---
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│ CW: personal │
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nixed my job offer today because something told me to stay in town.
called my ex-boyfriend an asshole today, so he's probably not going to keep
paying my rent.
sold the shares of stock that my grandfather gifted me as inheritance, so I'm
no longer a capitalist I guess.
at least my elbow doesn't hurt anymore. I didn't get outside today but I
cleared a lot of blockers for the coming tomorrows.
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--- #9 fediverse/2919 ---
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│ CW: imaginary-conversation-that-didn't-happen-tee-hee │
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"you can't be a paladin anymore because you don't practice with your weapon
every day"
I don't have room in my home to practice though : (
"go to the fucking park you weasel"
I don't want anyone to see me swinging a sword around! they might call the
cops, or worse, judge me for it!
"you want judgement eh well just wait until your opponent judges your
swordsmanship lacking then you'll find out what judgement tastes like as he
shoves your entrails down your throat"
I'm sorry I'll practice more T.T
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--- #10 notes/i-told-them ---
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10-22-2022
i told them over and over, but nobody wanted to know.
i begged them, summer after summer, but nothing solved on it's own
now i can help them, but no-one is making a move
am i blind? is any of this forgiven?
what's not to a lot, is little but a shot,
of substance - true - but smelling like poo.
that's not inspiring. it's not even chilling.
you're broken just like your children.
oh, posterity! i claim it for thee
this feeling of wretched denial
oh, simplicity! if only our lives were on trial.
be the best you can be, sure, but take it from me
there's more to this show than our styles.
what do you think it means, for an action to have consequence?
to arbite the fate of circumstance?
every motion is an ocean
of possibilities and purveyals
think not of the commotion below.
gravity, oh gravity
how you condemn us to be!
driven by commotion,
our slithering motion,
no sense in countering ourselves.
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--- #11 fediverse/2591 ---
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│ CW: re: politics-fascism-sexual-assault-mentioned │
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The full story is a lot more complex. I broke the law with him in a dangerous
way, but he was going to do it anyway and I wanted to know more about him.
I could not deprive him of power because I am powerless without my words. But
I supplied kindness anyway, and got hurt.
I forgave him while he was hurting me, but if I see him again I'm drawing my
knife. If he comes near me, I won't think twice.
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--- #12 notes/star-realms-balancing-tradeoff ---
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the
"avoid them"
"way too loud"
"they're our/an annoyance"
sorry I was late a little, I got distracted doing REAL HUMAN THINGS like play
video games
she's vulnerable because she can't be trusted. if anyone is disappearing after
interacting with me, it's because someone is redacting them. go find that
person
and stop them from redacting people please, because I like interacting with
people, not props.
"if we just... walked around and took what we needed, would they really be able
to stop us?"
---
heh what if we psyopped her
oh god she ran in circles
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--- #13 fediverse/4516 ---
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@user-1074
if anything, depression is a temporary disability, because you can and will
work your way through it.
There will come a day when you find yourself awash in love and contentment, in
righteous determination, and stalwart resolve. Your depression will feel as
distant a memory as the imprints of your chains.
You can start walking toward that day right now. I do believe you already are.
Have faith in yourself, trust your future, honor your past, and find grace in
the hearts of your others.
All this will pass. It gets better. You are stronger than you know, and when
tested you will shine with a furious glow. I see this in you, I know it to be
true, do not forget it and do not relent.
But you will forget it, this I also know, for I have forgotten it many times
before. It will come back, you will get better at that, but it takes time.
Trust.
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--- #14 fediverse/4000 ---
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@user-889
Don't give up!
At least... not forever.
It's okay to take a breath every once in a while
It's okay to lie down and cry
The only way away from those feelings is through. They've enveloped you. You
need to swallow them whole, like a sponge soaking up dirt[y water]
the only thing you need to think about is what's around you. It's okay to be
alone for a moment, it's the best time to feel.
Remember, feeling is how you know the world! It's your power, to feel, and I
know it's hard. Everyone has different powers, but yours is this.
You'll be okay, I know it
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--- #15 fediverse/6271 ---
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│ CW: re: hypothetical worst case fascism reality check │
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@user-641
it's practice. you never know when you might need to blend in. really it's
just useful as discipline, good practice to be in. I think it's okay if we
reduce our own functionality? actually? sometimes it's good to use different
email clients. hey do you know how to mathematically encrypt things well
neither do I because the designers of the computer system decided that wasn't
a very common usecase I guess.. jmean it's not like they'd spend all that
computer resources [THEY'RE SO FAST] on thinking about correlations in your
predicted pathway narratively through life. "ah help I'm in a psyop" haha yeah
we do those all the time "so uhhhh I guess we'll just talk to people and see
how they do?" wow okay it's sure nice to be part of a civil government, I
think we can find our way to the lumber producers just fine thank you very
much.
... oops sorry, a baby did electronics arts (challenge everything) I'm a
little silly don't mind me brb I gotta go see~
![it's practice. you never know when you might need to blend in. really it's just useful as discipline, good practice to be in. I think it's okay if we reduce our own functionality? actually? sometimes it's good to use different email clients. hey do you know how to mathematically encrypt things well neither do I because the designers of the computer system decided that wasn't a very common usecase I guess.. jmean it's not like they'd spend all that computer resources [THEY'RE SO FAST] on thinking about correlations in your predicted pathway narratively through life. "ah help I'm in a psyop" haha yeah we do those all the time "so uhhhh I guess we'll just talk to people and see how they do?" wow okay it's sure nice to be part of a civil government, I think we can find our way to the lumber producers just fine thank you very much. *... oops sorry, a baby did electronics arts (challenge everything) I'm a little silly don't mind me brb I gotta go see~*](/similar-different/media/1c154109c4111346.png "it's practice. you never know when you might need to blend in. really it's just useful as discipline, good practice to be in. I think it's okay if we reduce our own functionality? actually? sometimes it's good to use different email clients. hey do you know how to mathematically encrypt things well neither do I because the designers of the computer system decided that wasn't a very common usecase I guess.. jmean it's not like they'd spend all that computer resources [THEY'RE SO FAST] on thinking about correlations in your predicted pathway narratively through life. \"ah help I'm in a psyop\" haha yeah we do those all the time \"so uhhhh I guess we'll just talk to people and see how they do?\" wow okay it's sure nice to be part of a civil government, I think we can find our way to the lumber producers just fine thank you very much. *... oops sorry, a baby did electronics arts (challenge everything) I'm a little silly don't mind me brb I gotta go see~*")
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--- #16 fediverse/6245 ---
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I broke something today that someone gave me and that I was going to give away
as a gift. But the more I think about it, the less I think the gift's
recipient would have wanted it. I do however regret hurting my girlfriend
while I broke it, that was an accident. Sometimes you trip, sometimes you
slip, and sometimes you stub your toe. Accidents happen. It's okay, just
apologize, and realize that power is what you make of it, and we all have the
power of our own actions as we touch and prod the environment around us where
plants breathe.
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--- #17 fediverse/3130 ---
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"are you helping or hurting?"
I'm speaking. I'm sorry. Some works hurt some and help others.
Honesty and being true to yourself is important, but there's a time and place
for some words.
I'm kinda bad with timing, if you couldn't tell...
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--- #18 fediverse/3770 ---
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for every "I was there. I helped make it happen" we need at least a couple "I
was there. I saw the whole thing go down"s because like, nobody's gonna
believe a belligerent, even if they're on the defensive.
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--- #19 fediverse_boost/778 ---
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║ ┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐ ║
║ │ a message to all my haters! │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ i’m sorry i’m sorry i’m sorry i’m sorry i’m sorry i’m sorry what did i do wrong i’ll do anything to fix it i’m so sorry please i’ll do anything to get you to stop hating me i’m sorry i’m sorry i’m sorry i’m sorry i’m sorry i’m sorry │ ║
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--- #20 messages/304 ---
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Relax.
Take it from me.
I won't resist, at least I'll try, and if I start suddenly then it hurts and
you should go slower. Unless I do three short, three long, three short.
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