=== ANCHOR POEM ===
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 │ CW: re: mental health MH- │
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 @user-1420 
 
 I find that peer support groups are usually better for venting. At least, I
 feel less guilty doing it. With a therapist I am always trying to focus on
 actionable things and usually that means downplaying my emotions, which means
 they pay less attention to me and assume my issues aren't that bad... "you
 seem to be doing fine so we can schedule you for biweekly now? every two
 weeks?" meanwhile I'm nursing suicidal tendencies, and said so, but apparently
 if I'm not crying then it's fine... >.>
 
 but with peer groups it's like, yeah they get it. and if one person's crying,
 everyone else feels more open to crying about their stuff.
 
 sorry for venting. I'm definitely in a MH- mood today.
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=== SIMILARITY RANKED ===

--- #1 fediverse/2654 ---
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 I'm not bitter, you're bitter. >.>
 
 ... okay, take a breath, you're fine. It's hard to handle negative feelings
 when you're alone because other people can't boost you up. We rely on each
 other for emotional stability, but when you're alone you can only feel your
 emotions at the same rate as your thoughts. And your thoughts need to process
 the events you're experiencing, using emotion as an "encoding" for preserving
 the "meaning" of your life's story. Bit by bit you learn new things, while
 living through life, and the lessons you learn from them are generated from
 the cognitive conclusions reached by cognitively interpreting emotional
 reactions to each moment. like "this-or-that thing happened and I feel
 that-or-this way, meaning I should act such-and-such way in the future when
 presented with situations that bear similarity to this current one that's
 ongoing."
 
 ... turn it upside down, right, makes sense mastodon feed. thanks for
 redirecting me in a different direction through your pseudo-randomized input.
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--- #2 fediverse/1331 ---
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 @user-803 
 
 if someone does not consent to helping you bear their emotional burdens, but
 you insist anyway... that seems to be the narcissism you mentioned
 
 if someone does consent, then they're helping a friend. Or they're being a
 therapist for them.
 
 sometimes we can't help but be overcome by emotions. In those moments I find
 it's usually best to retreat to a safe space and hide out for a bit until the
 storm passes, then maybe return to the world a bit more fatigued but less...
 spicy.
 
 those moments show that you need more emotional support, both from yourself
 and from others. If the people in your life cannot help you, and you cannot
 help yourself... then yeah you're probably gonna hurt people around you. Plan
 as such and figure out how to still be a good person, it's up to each of us to
 do it in our own way.
 
 ... at least, that's how I look at it for my own life, feel free to disagree
 or anything
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--- #3 fediverse/790 ---
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 @user-246 
 
 is this... undefined behavior? or does it evaluate to 5 every time it's called?
 
 I find that often my art makes me feel intense emotions, not all of them good.
 But sharing those emotions with others is a tricky task (so I've recently
 learned) because you can easily overload people with negative feelings - just
 because you're feeling bad, doesn't mean you need to make others feel bad.
 Perhaps they were already feeling bad, and if you intensely and sharply poke
 them with your intense emotions while they're in a vulnerable or safe
 state/place... you can hurt them, more than you intended by expressing your
 feelings.
 
 balance in all things, as does a wave orbit a central axis so too should our
 behavior align toward the direction we'd like to travel.
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--- #4 fediverse/408 ---
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 @user-296
 
 tending to your heart is a chore, too, sometimes. all things in balance, not
 to the input of energy but rather to the requirements of the task.
 
 if you can't do dishes, you need help. if you can't get out of bed, that's
 okay. but every day that you try is another day when you might succeed. who
 cares if you don't finish all the chores? sometimes it's enough to just do one.
 
 I wish people understood that sometimes I need a maid more than a therapist.
 
 "ah but a therapist will fix you, so that you don't have to need a maid"
 
 perhaps, but perhaps not. It hasn't worked so far, in fact it's only gotten
 worse, and while my ability to tend to myself and my self have gotten better,
 I still can't see my own progress. Alas.
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--- #5 fediverse/1042 ---
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 "your feelings are valid, but have you considered that your feelings aren't
 actually valid because you're always wrong and nobody should ever apologize to
 you for anything because you suck and are wrong?"
 
 also,
 
 "my six digit salary isn't enough to pay for your rice and beans, but I won't
 have you eating sticks and mud, so do things you don't want to do because I
 said so."
 
 also,
 
 "I don't really "get" your art but that doesn't mean I should ever really try
 reading it. Also god forbid I actually ask for clarification like "what does
 that part mean" because I'm not actually that interested in you I just want a
 stable household so I never get traumatized again like [their childhood]"
 
 also,
 
 "yes I love you but no I don't want to play with you. you're such a cat."
 
 also,
 
 "every time you start making sense I'm going to try and derail the
 conversation so that we don't talk about kooky-dookerie because that's a
 conversation I can't win"
 
 also,
 
 sorry for venting. I mean, thanks for listeni
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--- #6 fediverse/814 ---
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║ ah that's weird, I don't usually cry. I wonder what's going on. I should         │
║ probably put myself on psychiatric drugs. Surely it's an expression of the       │
║ implementation of my impending doom.                                             │
║                                                                                  │
║ ... what are you even saying bro                                                 │
║                                                                                  │
║ ... um, hang on feels like some of the circuitry is off. is something wrong in   │
║ my brain? yeah that's surely it, surely nothing I say would resoinate with       │
║ anyone that has a non-malfunctioning brain. Surely I don't speak of logical      │
║ failures in the hard founded truths of our asset [society I think? like, our     │
║ conditions, our institutions, our {gosh that just... does not translate}] um     │
║ right what was I saying                                                          │
║                                                                                  │
║ oh yeah there's this game I'm really into called Knave, it's like D&D            │
║ except the rules are very fewer. Like there's onyl 11 pages in the rulebook      │
║ and it's mostly taken up by random roll tables. Like, everything boings down     │
║ to a few simple rules, like rock paper scissors, or go-fish, or something like   │
║ that with just afew mechanids. something timeless and pure, something that is    │
║ isolated and en                                                                  │
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--- #7 fediverse/5157 ---
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║ "everything sucks and I'm not okay"                                              │
║                                                                                  │
║ okay, but, it's okay. we're all in the "everything sucks" mode. we'll get        │
║ through it together. Okay, so, what can we do to make things better? what's      │
║ the solution to this issue over here? do you know anyone who can do              │
║ such-and-such, gosh it seems like the biggest problems people have are they      │
║ don't have enough time or they don't have enough roof for a money. which will    │
║ you trade? will you do one then another? maybe one way suits you, maybe you'd    │
║ prefer the other. either way, pentacles, swords, cups, and... the other one      │
║ (she's a bad witch as in she's bad at being a witch which means she witches in   │
║ bad ways and should be kept from punishment but instead guided toward where      │
║ she was wrong so she might improve upon it)                                      │
║                                                                                  │
║ that is to say, it's okay that you're not okay. I don't know who needs to read   │
║ this but just know that it's not so sad when everything's bad, because you're    │
║ just trying to do the best thing for the moments.                                │
║                                                                                  │
║ does anyone wanna make a movie about me? I can be the                            │
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--- #8 fediverse/3975 ---
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 @user-1631 
 
 for most of my life... [okay still do]... but it felt like I had different
 moods, and depending on how I felt at the time I would act differently.
 
 I forget the things that happen when I'm in a different mood, but I've gotten
 to a point where I can generally force myself to stay a certain "mood" while
 in certain contexts, and in doing so I can remember everything.
 
 downside is I get burnt out pretty easily if I'm always the same. It's not
 ideal.
 
 ... anyway if you talk about what you experience then your friends can point
 you toward people who "get" you.
 
 like, my parts don't have names, we don't have a group chat or whatever, it's
 just... me, but different shades of me.
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--- #9 notes/what-are-breakups-for ---
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 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 -
 
 listen... if you break up with a friend, OF COURSE you should cry.
 
 OF COURSE you'll be sad.
 
 it's okay.
 
 it's natural. it's human.
 
 don't feel sad about the pain. feel the pain.
 
 brb getting smashed
 
 (okay but please put some clothes on)
 
 -.- fine
 
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 -
 
 I can't fucking relax
 
 the only thing I can think of is defeating fascism
 
 this fucking sucks
 
 I just want to cry about my boyfriend of what, 6 years??
 
 jeez
 
 like.... yeah I'm flawed
 
 *of course* I'm flawed
 
 I'm a human being
 
 humans are imperfect
 
 ... ugh
 
 er, sorry, "bleurg"
 
 I'm going to eat a burrito
 
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 -
 
 alright ate an edible. 20mg. had 2 beers. that's enough for me.
 
 see ya soon. I swear to you, I will be there tomorrow. and every day
 henceforth.
 
 ... unless I'm taking a day off, like yesterday, which TBH was probably not
     ideal.
 
 I swear I'll be better.
 
 there are no false starts, only probing strikes.
 
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 -
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--- #10 fediverse/294 ---
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 the fact that the content warnings are part of the body text means that if you
 write the body first but use EXACTLY EVERY CHARACTER like I've been doing
 (most of the time, unless I'm interrupted)
 
 like... it won't even give me a break to delete. so there's no room for
 content-warnings, which ideally would be written at the beginning before
 starting a thought, but as you can see mine tend to... wander. it's like I'm
 living 15 different lives all at once, and they crisscross and go yonder. it's
 wilding, it's empowering, it's strange and it's confusing, but through
 consideration we develop new learnings and onward our future does
 
 = so = anyway, I apologize, sincerely and deeply, if my words hurt you. I'm
 sorry for what you thought, and I'm sorry for how it made you feel. I'm going
 to try reserving a certain amount of characters before I start writing, so
 maybe that'll help.
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--- #11 fediverse/1332 ---
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 @user-803 
 
 ah I see. like, hiding their emotions from others and acting in such a way
 that is disconnected from their inner tumultuous truth? Like, a form of
 deception. That makes sense to me, if I understand correctly.
 
 I think you're also saying it's additionally with the idea that their masked
 actions use other people to generate responses that they want. I think I see
 what you mean.
 
 "I don't care if you're fine, I need you to be sad with me" that kinda thing
 right?
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--- #12 fediverse/1673 ---
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 @user-192 
 
 https://eldritch.cafe/@user-1065/112530780377382613
 
 this comic, except instead of "trans enough" it should say "good enough"
 
 a poor plan executed at the right time, in the right place is better than a
 great plan that sits in your heart as you see someone who needs your love in
 pain.
 
 sometimes the best way to figure out "what the fuck is wrong with me" is to
 satisfy your emotional needs to be good by being helpful, even if you're not
 quite sure what "helpful" means. It's the thought that counts.
 
 Personally I think that if you're feeling bad and people offer you kindness,
 you should take that kindness (in whatever form it be) and use it to bolster
 yourself as you're "really going through it". Even just a touch of affection
 like a like or a ❤️ can be comforting in awful situations.
 
 reject normalcy
 
 embrace queerness
 
 define your own story with your own words
 
 embody your soul in the moments that stand out amongst the backdrop of
 "tuesday afternoons" and "waiting for the bus"
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--- #13 fediverse/1659 ---
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║ ┌───────────────────────────┐                                                    │
║ │ CW: re: what, mh shitpost │                                                    │
║ └───────────────────────────┘                                                    │
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║ @user-1052                                                                       │
║                                                                                  │
║ you're right, hubris has claimed many a paladin before-me. I can only hope I     │
║ remain humble enough to survive.                                                 │
║                                                                                  │
║ you're right about projecting, but the most beautiful takes are ones that        │
║ align with the experience of the viewed. Hence why method acting works so well   │
║ - just put yourself in the shoes of the character and acting's easy right?       │
║                                                                                  │
║ I dunno, I just always felt like it was important to always be trying your       │
║ best. Even if "your best" is relaxing. People say I'm "100% or 0% at all         │
║ times" and I totally agree - it's like you said, a calling, to be the best       │
║ version of me I can be.                                                          │
║                                                                                  │
║ Though I would like to add that the missteps aren't wilful, rather they're       │
║ failures caused by imperfect information. Which is why I'm never too harmed      │
║ when other people fail me - ah well, it was their turn to screw up, thats        │
║ alright. It'll be me next time.                                                  │
║                                                                                  │
║ But also, if I do something wrong, well, I'll do better next time. It's only     │
║ when I fail to apply what I've learned mistakenly do I shame myself.             │
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--- #14 fediverse/677 ---
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 @user-78 
 
 I read about half of this:
 
 https://jo.wtf/6d.html
 
 before I was consumed by the intense urge to prop myself up on a pillow and
 listen to you rant at the ceiling at 4am about gravity or the cosmos or
 whatever you were thinking about prior to speaking your heart
 
 and then I'd write it down, and cherish every moment of it as I shared it with
 my peers and we tried to analyze just what you meant
 
 [sorry for being gay on your timeline]
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--- #15 fediverse/100 ---
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 @user-119 @autisticadvocacy I couldn't live with myself if I wasn't the
 kindest, most heartfelt person I could be. The simplest mistake has me in
 sorrow. When I hurt someone's feelings I can't help but try to rectify what
 harms I caused and apologize and console for those I cannot fix. I try to be
 gracious and welcoming to all hearts and minds, and when presented with
 arguments that are contrary to my beliefs I change them. "If what you say
 about X study and Y statistic, then you're right that Z conclusion makes
 sense. I'm worried about A cause and I believe it might cause B effect, which
 would still make sense if X and Y are true. I think you might be right! And it
 would make sense that C is present still, wouldn't it?" Basically trying to
 understand another's point of view so concretely that you cannot help but
 understand their viewpoints. I'm also pretty good at understanding their
 viewpoints and changing their mind, because I can feel what's important to
 them. Empathy is like human telepathy.
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--- #16 fediverse/4551 ---
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 oh no I'm feeling, uh... "depressed" or "manic depressed" or something else,
 you pick this time, better go hide and work on organizational technology which
 utilizes Risc-V hardware, fediverse software, LLM based anonymization, and
 SoCs with multiple ethernet ports, oh nooooo how boring and depressing, if
 only someone or several people who were bored and feeling like resisting
 capitalism wanted to help out, all they'd have to do is get in touch with me
 
 anyway bye
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--- #17 fediverse/3437 ---
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 │ CW: re: mental-health-minus │
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 @user-579 
 
 my problem is figuring out which thoughts are intrusive and which are actually
 mine
 
 I usually err on the side of "would you want your sister to do this" or "how
 would you feel if your mom told you that" or "do you think a cute sweet soft
 cat would ever think such a thing" and that usually works.
 
 usually.
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--- #18 fediverse/6271 ---
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 │ CW: re: hypothetical worst case fascism reality check │
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 @user-641 
 
 it's practice. you never know when you might need to blend in. really it's
 just useful as discipline, good practice to be in. I think it's okay if we
 reduce our own functionality? actually? sometimes it's good to use different
 email clients. hey do you know how to mathematically encrypt things well
 neither do I because the designers of the computer system decided that wasn't
 a very common usecase I guess.. jmean it's not like they'd spend all that
 computer resources [THEY'RE SO FAST] on thinking about correlations in your
 predicted pathway narratively through life. "ah help I'm in a psyop" haha yeah
 we do those all the time "so uhhhh I guess we'll just talk to people and see
 how they do?" wow okay it's sure nice to be part of a civil government, I
 think we can find our way to the lumber producers just fine thank you very
 much.
 
 ... oops sorry, a baby did electronics arts (challenge everything) I'm a
 little silly don't mind me brb I gotta go see~

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--- #19 fediverse/2991 ---
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 okay so if yesterday was a
 
 "everything sucks and I'm the worst ever"
 
 type of day, and today is a
 
 "whatever mom I don't even care"
 
 type of day, that means tomorrow will be a
 
 "I can't believe how absolutely absurd I am"
 
 type of day, and the day after a
 
 "I am indomitable nothing can stop me"
 
 kind of day, with the following being wildcards
 
 ... right? here's hoping. I like that trajectory.
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--- #20 fediverse/3444 ---
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 I'm too empathetic to watch them lose this badly. when I watch movies with
 cringe humor I have to leave the room whenever something bad happens to the
 characters. I get the same feeling when I read about politics these days.
 
 side note, but has anyone else gotten emails about "hiring plain-clothes
 police officers in Washington D.C, will offer relocation assistance and pay
 minimum 72k per year"? can't help but wonder if they're afraid of a bunch of
 sore losers storming the capital with guns.
 
 it's not like there's a precedent for that or anything.
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