=== ANCHOR POEM ===
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 @user-246 
 
 is this... undefined behavior? or does it evaluate to 5 every time it's called?
 
 I find that often my art makes me feel intense emotions, not all of them good.
 But sharing those emotions with others is a tricky task (so I've recently
 learned) because you can easily overload people with negative feelings - just
 because you're feeling bad, doesn't mean you need to make others feel bad.
 Perhaps they were already feeling bad, and if you intensely and sharply poke
 them with your intense emotions while they're in a vulnerable or safe
 state/place... you can hurt them, more than you intended by expressing your
 feelings.
 
 balance in all things, as does a wave orbit a central axis so too should our
 behavior align toward the direction we'd like to travel.
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=== SIMILARITY RANKED ===

--- #1 fediverse/2654 ---
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 I'm not bitter, you're bitter. >.>
 
 ... okay, take a breath, you're fine. It's hard to handle negative feelings
 when you're alone because other people can't boost you up. We rely on each
 other for emotional stability, but when you're alone you can only feel your
 emotions at the same rate as your thoughts. And your thoughts need to process
 the events you're experiencing, using emotion as an "encoding" for preserving
 the "meaning" of your life's story. Bit by bit you learn new things, while
 living through life, and the lessons you learn from them are generated from
 the cognitive conclusions reached by cognitively interpreting emotional
 reactions to each moment. like "this-or-that thing happened and I feel
 that-or-this way, meaning I should act such-and-such way in the future when
 presented with situations that bear similarity to this current one that's
 ongoing."
 
 ... turn it upside down, right, makes sense mastodon feed. thanks for
 redirecting me in a different direction through your pseudo-randomized input.
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--- #2 fediverse/1331 ---
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 @user-803 
 
 if someone does not consent to helping you bear their emotional burdens, but
 you insist anyway... that seems to be the narcissism you mentioned
 
 if someone does consent, then they're helping a friend. Or they're being a
 therapist for them.
 
 sometimes we can't help but be overcome by emotions. In those moments I find
 it's usually best to retreat to a safe space and hide out for a bit until the
 storm passes, then maybe return to the world a bit more fatigued but less...
 spicy.
 
 those moments show that you need more emotional support, both from yourself
 and from others. If the people in your life cannot help you, and you cannot
 help yourself... then yeah you're probably gonna hurt people around you. Plan
 as such and figure out how to still be a good person, it's up to each of us to
 do it in our own way.
 
 ... at least, that's how I look at it for my own life, feel free to disagree
 or anything
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--- #3 fediverse/1292 ---
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 @user-78 
 
 anhedonia perhaps? the difficulty of identifying or feeling emotions? (emojis
 as you put them)
 
 you shouldn't overexpose yourself to things regularly. Think of it like you're
 slowly adjusting your body to a poison - you need to start out slowly to build
 up a tolerance. In the same way if things make your heart hurt then you
 shouldn't expose yourself to too many of them all at once - face the darkness
 you find, but only enough to contrast with your bright.
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--- #4 messages/108 ---
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 I like when people make fun of me because it gives me a chance to defend
 myself. Simultaneously I don't like when people are mean to me. I like when
 people find me endearing, and point out the ways that I'm different. It gives
 me a chance to say "oh yes this is why I do that" which feels cathartic
 (because it validates my position) but also because it gives me the
 opportunity to improve it (through debate) and it helps the people who learned
 from me because I can improve myself and my only reason for improving myself
 is if the new thing I'm learning is better than the thing I used to do which
 means the people who learn from me are improved and the people who best me
 argumentatively are improving me.
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--- #5 fediverse/2832 ---
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 when people ask what I do I don't say "art" because I'd do that anyway.
 
 my art is precious to me, because it is the most "me" I can conceive.
 
 and like... I can carry it with me to the future.
 
 I have only once given away one of my journals, and it was a wedding present
 to a witch or two.
 
 so yeah I'm an artist, but I'm also whatever you need me to do.
 
 and yes, I of course hope that what you need me to do is what I can do.
 
 because I can't do much more than this.
 
 But I can show up every once in a while,
 
 and maybe make you smile or consider,
 
 and maybe I can ride past on my bike.
 
 but that's the human in me, telling me it's time to move with my feet, and I
 can do little but listen.
 
 ... that should make doxxing me a bit easier. have it it : )
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--- #6 fediverse/1673 ---
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 │ CW: re: navel-gazing about other people's mental health │
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 @user-192 
 
 https://eldritch.cafe/@user-1065/112530780377382613
 
 this comic, except instead of "trans enough" it should say "good enough"
 
 a poor plan executed at the right time, in the right place is better than a
 great plan that sits in your heart as you see someone who needs your love in
 pain.
 
 sometimes the best way to figure out "what the fuck is wrong with me" is to
 satisfy your emotional needs to be good by being helpful, even if you're not
 quite sure what "helpful" means. It's the thought that counts.
 
 Personally I think that if you're feeling bad and people offer you kindness,
 you should take that kindness (in whatever form it be) and use it to bolster
 yourself as you're "really going through it". Even just a touch of affection
 like a like or a ❤️ can be comforting in awful situations.
 
 reject normalcy
 
 embrace queerness
 
 define your own story with your own words
 
 embody your soul in the moments that stand out amongst the backdrop of
 "tuesday afternoons" and "waiting for the bus"
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--- #7 fediverse/1362 ---
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 @user-192 
 
 it suddenly became relevant in your life for a different reason and you wanted
 to share it again to see if anyone wanted to talk about it so you could
 explain your feelings and see perspective from someone who's maybe approaching
 the same or similar thing from a slightly different angle?
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--- #8 fediverse/6271 ---
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 │ CW: re: hypothetical worst case fascism reality check │
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 @user-641 
 
 it's practice. you never know when you might need to blend in. really it's
 just useful as discipline, good practice to be in. I think it's okay if we
 reduce our own functionality? actually? sometimes it's good to use different
 email clients. hey do you know how to mathematically encrypt things well
 neither do I because the designers of the computer system decided that wasn't
 a very common usecase I guess.. jmean it's not like they'd spend all that
 computer resources [THEY'RE SO FAST] on thinking about correlations in your
 predicted pathway narratively through life. "ah help I'm in a psyop" haha yeah
 we do those all the time "so uhhhh I guess we'll just talk to people and see
 how they do?" wow okay it's sure nice to be part of a civil government, I
 think we can find our way to the lumber producers just fine thank you very
 much.
 
 ... oops sorry, a baby did electronics arts (challenge everything) I'm a
 little silly don't mind me brb I gotta go see~

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--- #9 fediverse/4540 ---
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 most people in the world are dumb as a bag of bricks
 
 but that's okay, I still love them, and so should you.
 
 everyone I hang out with is sharp as a tack
 
 and I love them still, for I don't have a preference for blunt objects.
 
 some people don't feel emotions
 
 I think they're just depressed
 
 some people can't stop
 
 won't stop, I say.
 
 really as long as they follow their heart and sing a tune that is true
 
 I think they're alright.
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--- #10 fediverse/2985 ---
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 │ CW: re: mental health MH- │
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 @user-1420 
 
 I find that peer support groups are usually better for venting. At least, I
 feel less guilty doing it. With a therapist I am always trying to focus on
 actionable things and usually that means downplaying my emotions, which means
 they pay less attention to me and assume my issues aren't that bad... "you
 seem to be doing fine so we can schedule you for biweekly now? every two
 weeks?" meanwhile I'm nursing suicidal tendencies, and said so, but apparently
 if I'm not crying then it's fine... >.>
 
 but with peer groups it's like, yeah they get it. and if one person's crying,
 everyone else feels more open to crying about their stuff.
 
 sorry for venting. I'm definitely in a MH- mood today.
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--- #11 fediverse/3975 ---
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 @user-1631 
 
 for most of my life... [okay still do]... but it felt like I had different
 moods, and depending on how I felt at the time I would act differently.
 
 I forget the things that happen when I'm in a different mood, but I've gotten
 to a point where I can generally force myself to stay a certain "mood" while
 in certain contexts, and in doing so I can remember everything.
 
 downside is I get burnt out pretty easily if I'm always the same. It's not
 ideal.
 
 ... anyway if you talk about what you experience then your friends can point
 you toward people who "get" you.
 
 like, my parts don't have names, we don't have a group chat or whatever, it's
 just... me, but different shades of me.
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--- #12 fediverse/146 ---
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 @user-138 if you don't want feedback then why don't you just... not open the
 replies? leave them unread? if you feel the need to justify your actions (such
 as not reading replies to your controversial posts) then somewhere deep down
 you feel like those actions are unjustified, and needing an explanation. which
 makes your point feel less valid to others, since even you don't believe in it
 enough to guarantee it to be the truest expression of your soul.
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--- #13 fediverse/1317 ---
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║ ... if I don't do this deadline by tomorrow they'll kick me out of school.       │
║ again.                                                                           │
║                                                                                  │
║ how am I going to be a programmer without a degree? feels useless to be me.      │
║ wish I could code my own horoscope >.>                                           │
║                                                                                  │
║ o wait dummy that's called "motivation" and "the ability to follow through on    │
║ your ideas and planned machinations" - yeah can I get some of that, if you       │
║ please? surely just a taste of discipline, through laboring to alter             │
║ conditions, surely a bit would suffice.                                          │
║                                                                                  │
║ c'mon don't fail me now. I can do this. I know I can. I know because I've been   │
║ told that I can, now and again through time and time yet again, always I seem    │
║ to [stack overflow]                                                              │
║                                                                                  │
║ what's time if not the present amiright                                          │
║                                                                                  │
║ ...                                                                              │
║                                                                                  │
║ anyway...                                                                        │
║                                                                                  │
║ it's just git, how hard could it be? it's just calculus, it's just java, it's    │
║ just... well, it's not any of those things, not really. it's memorization,       │
║ it's application of tools that you've been shown (not that you've grown). It's   │
║ a lack of responsibility, where is my honor? ah but I digress, I'm a carpenter   │
║ at heart I guess                                                                 │
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--- #14 fediverse/6393 ---
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 │ CW: ai-mentioned     │
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 yay I hit the 5 hour limit on claude-code! now I can play video games and
 write more issue tickets for the computer to work on for me.
 
 what's that? results? oh, I'm not interested in those. This is an art project
 you see, so clearly, clearly, the end result shouldn't matter to me, because
 all art is special or something. so says she who tries to share her art with
 everyone she sees... I wonder who yet believes?
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--- #15 fediverse/4000 ---
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 @user-889 
 
 Don't give up!
 
 At least... not forever.
 
 It's okay to take a breath every once in a while
 
 It's okay to lie down and cry
 
 The only way away from those feelings is through. They've enveloped you. You
 need to swallow them whole, like a sponge soaking up dirt[y water]
 
 the only thing you need to think about is what's around you. It's okay to be
 alone for a moment, it's the best time to feel.
 
 Remember, feeling is how you know the world! It's your power, to feel, and I
 know it's hard. Everyone has different powers, but yours is this.
 
 You'll be okay, I know it
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--- #16 fediverse/2364 ---
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 │ CW: uspol-wheatpaste │
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 https://wheatpasteposters.com/wheatpasting/
 
 Hello kids, would you like to do some graffiti?
 
 This kind is hard to take down. You can say all kinds of things, like your
 feelings about fascism or palestine or indigenous land back movements
 
 but most people have already read that kind of thing, and they know where they
 stand.
 
 Much better, I find, to talk about things that are more "of the times" - like,
 for example, how monarchy in America is on the rise.
 
 Are you emotionally prepared for the feeling of swearing allegiance to a
 person, rather than a flag? I sure am looking forward to how we express these
 feelings!
 
 Plus, genocide in palestine is old news to liberals, the only people who care
 that you share. But genocide here, in America, on our homeless, vagrants, and
 migrants? That's relatively new, that might get a glance or two.
 
 Wheatpasting is harder to take down than post-its or spraypaint. But post-its
 and spraypaint are quicker to apply, so... use your best judgement. Be
 artistic!

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--- #17 fediverse/814 ---
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║ ah that's weird, I don't usually cry. I wonder what's going on. I should         │
║ probably put myself on psychiatric drugs. Surely it's an expression of the       │
║ implementation of my impending doom.                                             │
║                                                                                  │
║ ... what are you even saying bro                                                 │
║                                                                                  │
║ ... um, hang on feels like some of the circuitry is off. is something wrong in   │
║ my brain? yeah that's surely it, surely nothing I say would resoinate with       │
║ anyone that has a non-malfunctioning brain. Surely I don't speak of logical      │
║ failures in the hard founded truths of our asset [society I think? like, our     │
║ conditions, our institutions, our {gosh that just... does not translate}] um     │
║ right what was I saying                                                          │
║                                                                                  │
║ oh yeah there's this game I'm really into called Knave, it's like D&D            │
║ except the rules are very fewer. Like there's onyl 11 pages in the rulebook      │
║ and it's mostly taken up by random roll tables. Like, everything boings down     │
║ to a few simple rules, like rock paper scissors, or go-fish, or something like   │
║ that with just afew mechanids. something timeless and pure, something that is    │
║ isolated and en                                                                  │
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--- #18 fediverse/169 ---
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 @user-95 one of the most empathetic people I ever met on VR chat was consoling
 me with their mic off while I was oversharing about some stupid things people
 did to me in the past. things that stupid me thought were okay and actively
 encouraged because I was stupid. anyway when their mic was off their body
 language spoke for them. I'll try that next time.
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--- #19 fediverse/1042 ---
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 "your feelings are valid, but have you considered that your feelings aren't
 actually valid because you're always wrong and nobody should ever apologize to
 you for anything because you suck and are wrong?"
 
 also,
 
 "my six digit salary isn't enough to pay for your rice and beans, but I won't
 have you eating sticks and mud, so do things you don't want to do because I
 said so."
 
 also,
 
 "I don't really "get" your art but that doesn't mean I should ever really try
 reading it. Also god forbid I actually ask for clarification like "what does
 that part mean" because I'm not actually that interested in you I just want a
 stable household so I never get traumatized again like [their childhood]"
 
 also,
 
 "yes I love you but no I don't want to play with you. you're such a cat."
 
 also,
 
 "every time you start making sense I'm going to try and derail the
 conversation so that we don't talk about kooky-dookerie because that's a
 conversation I can't win"
 
 also,
 
 sorry for venting. I mean, thanks for listeni
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--- #20 fediverse/1838 ---
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 Gee I sure wish my country didn't hold the decisionmaking capability from me
 by gatekeeping it behind elections and polling. Sure wish our media wasn't so
 involved in decisionmaking - isn't it something we should talk about amongst
 ourselves? To find out how we feel, and really explore our feelings around a
 topic before expressing ourselves. Ideally more often than twice a year,
 perhaps whenever we want?
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