=== ANCHOR POEM ===
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@user-246
is this... undefined behavior? or does it evaluate to 5 every time it's called?
I find that often my art makes me feel intense emotions, not all of them good.
But sharing those emotions with others is a tricky task (so I've recently
learned) because you can easily overload people with negative feelings - just
because you're feeling bad, doesn't mean you need to make others feel bad.
Perhaps they were already feeling bad, and if you intensely and sharply poke
them with your intense emotions while they're in a vulnerable or safe
state/place... you can hurt them, more than you intended by expressing your
feelings.
balance in all things, as does a wave orbit a central axis so too should our
behavior align toward the direction we'd like to travel.
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=== SIMILARITY RANKED ===
--- #1 fediverse/2654 ---
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I'm not bitter, you're bitter. >.>
... okay, take a breath, you're fine. It's hard to handle negative feelings
when you're alone because other people can't boost you up. We rely on each
other for emotional stability, but when you're alone you can only feel your
emotions at the same rate as your thoughts. And your thoughts need to process
the events you're experiencing, using emotion as an "encoding" for preserving
the "meaning" of your life's story. Bit by bit you learn new things, while
living through life, and the lessons you learn from them are generated from
the cognitive conclusions reached by cognitively interpreting emotional
reactions to each moment. like "this-or-that thing happened and I feel
that-or-this way, meaning I should act such-and-such way in the future when
presented with situations that bear similarity to this current one that's
ongoing."
... turn it upside down, right, makes sense mastodon feed. thanks for
redirecting me in a different direction through your pseudo-randomized input.
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--- #2 fediverse/1331 ---
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@user-803
if someone does not consent to helping you bear their emotional burdens, but
you insist anyway... that seems to be the narcissism you mentioned
if someone does consent, then they're helping a friend. Or they're being a
therapist for them.
sometimes we can't help but be overcome by emotions. In those moments I find
it's usually best to retreat to a safe space and hide out for a bit until the
storm passes, then maybe return to the world a bit more fatigued but less...
spicy.
those moments show that you need more emotional support, both from yourself
and from others. If the people in your life cannot help you, and you cannot
help yourself... then yeah you're probably gonna hurt people around you. Plan
as such and figure out how to still be a good person, it's up to each of us to
do it in our own way.
... at least, that's how I look at it for my own life, feel free to disagree
or anything
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--- #3 fediverse/1292 ---
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│ CW: re: mental health question │
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@user-78
anhedonia perhaps? the difficulty of identifying or feeling emotions? (emojis
as you put them)
you shouldn't overexpose yourself to things regularly. Think of it like you're
slowly adjusting your body to a poison - you need to start out slowly to build
up a tolerance. In the same way if things make your heart hurt then you
shouldn't expose yourself to too many of them all at once - face the darkness
you find, but only enough to contrast with your bright.
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--- #4 messages/108 ---
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I like when people make fun of me because it gives me a chance to defend
myself. Simultaneously I don't like when people are mean to me. I like when
people find me endearing, and point out the ways that I'm different. It gives
me a chance to say "oh yes this is why I do that" which feels cathartic
(because it validates my position) but also because it gives me the
opportunity to improve it (through debate) and it helps the people who learned
from me because I can improve myself and my only reason for improving myself
is if the new thing I'm learning is better than the thing I used to do which
means the people who learn from me are improved and the people who best me
argumentatively are improving me.
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--- #5 fediverse/2832 ---
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when people ask what I do I don't say "art" because I'd do that anyway.
my art is precious to me, because it is the most "me" I can conceive.
and like... I can carry it with me to the future.
I have only once given away one of my journals, and it was a wedding present
to a witch or two.
so yeah I'm an artist, but I'm also whatever you need me to do.
and yes, I of course hope that what you need me to do is what I can do.
because I can't do much more than this.
But I can show up every once in a while,
and maybe make you smile or consider,
and maybe I can ride past on my bike.
but that's the human in me, telling me it's time to move with my feet, and I
can do little but listen.
... that should make doxxing me a bit easier. have it it : )
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--- #6 fediverse/1673 ---
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│ CW: re: navel-gazing about other people's mental health │
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@user-192
https://eldritch.cafe/@user-1065/112530780377382613
this comic, except instead of "trans enough" it should say "good enough"
a poor plan executed at the right time, in the right place is better than a
great plan that sits in your heart as you see someone who needs your love in
pain.
sometimes the best way to figure out "what the fuck is wrong with me" is to
satisfy your emotional needs to be good by being helpful, even if you're not
quite sure what "helpful" means. It's the thought that counts.
Personally I think that if you're feeling bad and people offer you kindness,
you should take that kindness (in whatever form it be) and use it to bolster
yourself as you're "really going through it". Even just a touch of affection
like a like or a ❤️ can be comforting in awful situations.
reject normalcy
embrace queerness
define your own story with your own words
embody your soul in the moments that stand out amongst the backdrop of
"tuesday afternoons" and "waiting for the bus"
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--- #7 fediverse/1362 ---
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@user-192
it suddenly became relevant in your life for a different reason and you wanted
to share it again to see if anyone wanted to talk about it so you could
explain your feelings and see perspective from someone who's maybe approaching
the same or similar thing from a slightly different angle?
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--- #8 fediverse/6271 ---
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│ CW: re: hypothetical worst case fascism reality check │
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@user-641
it's practice. you never know when you might need to blend in. really it's
just useful as discipline, good practice to be in. I think it's okay if we
reduce our own functionality? actually? sometimes it's good to use different
email clients. hey do you know how to mathematically encrypt things well
neither do I because the designers of the computer system decided that wasn't
a very common usecase I guess.. jmean it's not like they'd spend all that
computer resources [THEY'RE SO FAST] on thinking about correlations in your
predicted pathway narratively through life. "ah help I'm in a psyop" haha yeah
we do those all the time "so uhhhh I guess we'll just talk to people and see
how they do?" wow okay it's sure nice to be part of a civil government, I
think we can find our way to the lumber producers just fine thank you very
much.
... oops sorry, a baby did electronics arts (challenge everything) I'm a
little silly don't mind me brb I gotta go see~
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--- #9 fediverse/4540 ---
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most people in the world are dumb as a bag of bricks
but that's okay, I still love them, and so should you.
everyone I hang out with is sharp as a tack
and I love them still, for I don't have a preference for blunt objects.
some people don't feel emotions
I think they're just depressed
some people can't stop
won't stop, I say.
really as long as they follow their heart and sing a tune that is true
I think they're alright.
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--- #10 fediverse/2985 ---
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│ CW: re: mental health MH- │
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@user-1420
I find that peer support groups are usually better for venting. At least, I
feel less guilty doing it. With a therapist I am always trying to focus on
actionable things and usually that means downplaying my emotions, which means
they pay less attention to me and assume my issues aren't that bad... "you
seem to be doing fine so we can schedule you for biweekly now? every two
weeks?" meanwhile I'm nursing suicidal tendencies, and said so, but apparently
if I'm not crying then it's fine... >.>
but with peer groups it's like, yeah they get it. and if one person's crying,
everyone else feels more open to crying about their stuff.
sorry for venting. I'm definitely in a MH- mood today.
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--- #11 fediverse/3975 ---
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@user-1631
for most of my life... [okay still do]... but it felt like I had different
moods, and depending on how I felt at the time I would act differently.
I forget the things that happen when I'm in a different mood, but I've gotten
to a point where I can generally force myself to stay a certain "mood" while
in certain contexts, and in doing so I can remember everything.
downside is I get burnt out pretty easily if I'm always the same. It's not
ideal.
... anyway if you talk about what you experience then your friends can point
you toward people who "get" you.
like, my parts don't have names, we don't have a group chat or whatever, it's
just... me, but different shades of me.
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--- #12 fediverse/146 ---
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@user-138 if you don't want feedback then why don't you just... not open the
replies? leave them unread? if you feel the need to justify your actions (such
as not reading replies to your controversial posts) then somewhere deep down
you feel like those actions are unjustified, and needing an explanation. which
makes your point feel less valid to others, since even you don't believe in it
enough to guarantee it to be the truest expression of your soul.
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--- #13 fediverse/1317 ---
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║ ... if I don't do this deadline by tomorrow they'll kick me out of school. │
║ again. │
║ │
║ how am I going to be a programmer without a degree? feels useless to be me. │
║ wish I could code my own horoscope >.> │
║ │
║ o wait dummy that's called "motivation" and "the ability to follow through on │
║ your ideas and planned machinations" - yeah can I get some of that, if you │
║ please? surely just a taste of discipline, through laboring to alter │
║ conditions, surely a bit would suffice. │
║ │
║ c'mon don't fail me now. I can do this. I know I can. I know because I've been │
║ told that I can, now and again through time and time yet again, always I seem │
║ to [stack overflow] │
║ │
║ what's time if not the present amiright │
║ │
║ ... │
║ │
║ anyway... │
║ │
║ it's just git, how hard could it be? it's just calculus, it's just java, it's │
║ just... well, it's not any of those things, not really. it's memorization, │
║ it's application of tools that you've been shown (not that you've grown). It's │
║ a lack of responsibility, where is my honor? ah but I digress, I'm a carpenter │
║ at heart I guess │
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--- #14 fediverse/6393 ---
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yay I hit the 5 hour limit on claude-code! now I can play video games and
write more issue tickets for the computer to work on for me.
what's that? results? oh, I'm not interested in those. This is an art project
you see, so clearly, clearly, the end result shouldn't matter to me, because
all art is special or something. so says she who tries to share her art with
everyone she sees... I wonder who yet believes?
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--- #15 fediverse/4000 ---
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@user-889
Don't give up!
At least... not forever.
It's okay to take a breath every once in a while
It's okay to lie down and cry
The only way away from those feelings is through. They've enveloped you. You
need to swallow them whole, like a sponge soaking up dirt[y water]
the only thing you need to think about is what's around you. It's okay to be
alone for a moment, it's the best time to feel.
Remember, feeling is how you know the world! It's your power, to feel, and I
know it's hard. Everyone has different powers, but yours is this.
You'll be okay, I know it
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--- #16 fediverse/2364 ---
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│ CW: uspol-wheatpaste │
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https://wheatpasteposters.com/wheatpasting/
Hello kids, would you like to do some graffiti?
This kind is hard to take down. You can say all kinds of things, like your
feelings about fascism or palestine or indigenous land back movements
but most people have already read that kind of thing, and they know where they
stand.
Much better, I find, to talk about things that are more "of the times" - like,
for example, how monarchy in America is on the rise.
Are you emotionally prepared for the feeling of swearing allegiance to a
person, rather than a flag? I sure am looking forward to how we express these
feelings!
Plus, genocide in palestine is old news to liberals, the only people who care
that you share. But genocide here, in America, on our homeless, vagrants, and
migrants? That's relatively new, that might get a glance or two.
Wheatpasting is harder to take down than post-its or spraypaint. But post-its
and spraypaint are quicker to apply, so... use your best judgement. Be
artistic!
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--- #17 fediverse/814 ---
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║ ah that's weird, I don't usually cry. I wonder what's going on. I should │
║ probably put myself on psychiatric drugs. Surely it's an expression of the │
║ implementation of my impending doom. │
║ │
║ ... what are you even saying bro │
║ │
║ ... um, hang on feels like some of the circuitry is off. is something wrong in │
║ my brain? yeah that's surely it, surely nothing I say would resoinate with │
║ anyone that has a non-malfunctioning brain. Surely I don't speak of logical │
║ failures in the hard founded truths of our asset [society I think? like, our │
║ conditions, our institutions, our {gosh that just... does not translate}] um │
║ right what was I saying │
║ │
║ oh yeah there's this game I'm really into called Knave, it's like D&D │
║ except the rules are very fewer. Like there's onyl 11 pages in the rulebook │
║ and it's mostly taken up by random roll tables. Like, everything boings down │
║ to a few simple rules, like rock paper scissors, or go-fish, or something like │
║ that with just afew mechanids. something timeless and pure, something that is │
║ isolated and en │
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--- #18 fediverse/169 ---
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@user-95 one of the most empathetic people I ever met on VR chat was consoling
me with their mic off while I was oversharing about some stupid things people
did to me in the past. things that stupid me thought were okay and actively
encouraged because I was stupid. anyway when their mic was off their body
language spoke for them. I'll try that next time.
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--- #19 fediverse/1042 ---
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"your feelings are valid, but have you considered that your feelings aren't
actually valid because you're always wrong and nobody should ever apologize to
you for anything because you suck and are wrong?"
also,
"my six digit salary isn't enough to pay for your rice and beans, but I won't
have you eating sticks and mud, so do things you don't want to do because I
said so."
also,
"I don't really "get" your art but that doesn't mean I should ever really try
reading it. Also god forbid I actually ask for clarification like "what does
that part mean" because I'm not actually that interested in you I just want a
stable household so I never get traumatized again like [their childhood]"
also,
"yes I love you but no I don't want to play with you. you're such a cat."
also,
"every time you start making sense I'm going to try and derail the
conversation so that we don't talk about kooky-dookerie because that's a
conversation I can't win"
also,
sorry for venting. I mean, thanks for listeni
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--- #20 fediverse/1838 ---
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Gee I sure wish my country didn't hold the decisionmaking capability from me
by gatekeeping it behind elections and polling. Sure wish our media wasn't so
involved in decisionmaking - isn't it something we should talk about amongst
ourselves? To find out how we feel, and really explore our feelings around a
topic before expressing ourselves. Ideally more often than twice a year,
perhaps whenever we want?
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--- #21 fediverse/6352 ---
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║ ┌─────────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: feelings-mentioned~ │ │
║ └─────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ dear diary: sorry for the melodrama, I feel better now. I should explain why I │
║ felt this way near what I wrote about what I felt this way so that I know why │
║ I felt that way when I forget to go back and read this next year or next time │
║ I feel this way. │
║ │
║ I had a really great thanksgiving. I was on top of the world. Then, I found │
║ that a piece of art I had made which was one of my favorite pieces I had ever │
║ made might have been lost because someone didn't like me. I became despondent │
║ and started thinking about metaphysics. I got hit by a spite spell, and the │
║ tricksters behind the curtain twiddling the knobs and dials of the challenges │
║ presented to me or whatever were like "ah but what if we twisted her" and I'm │
║ like "ah I feel immense magnitude of emotions and now suddenly they're buffer │
║ overflowed and flipped around to negative two hundred thousand or whatever" │
║ │
║ ... sorry to my journal. I should be kinder to myself. I love me. I, uh, feel │
║ better now. The sharpest knives are already inside you. │
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--- #22 fediverse/5835 ---
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next-level double-speak:
when they say one thing with a tone that makes them seem fine to the
microphones but they mean something to hurt you because they know what stings
or they want to entrap you.
next-level para-noia:
when they believe one thing and are personally harmed whenever you speak to
the contrary, as faith is sustenance in the way that the pumping of blood
through your veings sustains.
RUDE RUDE RUDE WHY IS EVERYTHING FRUSTRATING.
It shouldn't be this way, yet CONSTANTLY are things disagreeing. CONSTANTLY
they fight or complain. ALWAYS they are disruptive and annoying.
SEVERAL times in excess of what is need.
HOW is it so stressful
HOW is there so much pain
I am an explosed nerve, ready to serve, preferring to be used than misused.
it's fine. whatever. nobody even knows what this means.
you lose points if you disturb the environment did you hear that? sounds like
we should BREAK and SHATTER the parts of most fragile nature.
"only if it's for a good cause"
oh, like climbing a mountain?
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--- #23 fediverse/1303 ---
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@user-192
normality?
banality?
errrrr I mean emotional disregulation and low self esteem?
... it's easier in person when you can see when everyone has the "yo what the
fuck" look on their face and when they have the "wait what was that I was
thinking about snails" face
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--- #24 fediverse/3932 ---
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@user-889
don't give up!
I know that feeling!
it is defeated with persistence!
don't give up!
you can make it!
there's always tomorrow!
so don't give up!
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--- #25 fediverse/4469 ---
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doom is like sand thrown on a fire.
don't spread it unless you are intentional about it. sometimes it's good to
smother fires. other times it's cathartic. that's okay.
but keep in mind the future goals. where are we trying to get to in the near
future? work towards that. your emotions are fuel, not despair to wallow in.
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--- #26 fediverse/4543 ---
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@user-1698
Ha that does sound pretty "fun" - I take it you aren't a pianist?
I smell bad because... reasons... so I am always hyper-aware of myself when
I'm in situations like that. The idea that I might ruin someone's day by being
there terrifies me.
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--- #27 fediverse/2047 ---
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your life is something to spend, not something to covet. Use your time for
something you care about, and your intentions will be expressed upon the
earth. our ancestors learned how when they learned all that they could - and
honestly, how much is "YouTube" retaining? I don't care if it's educational,
sometimes kids just need to be free. Free from obligations yes, but free from
the emotions that drive them - the ability to make their own choice. As a
child, you don't know how to understand your emotions, but growing up you
learn and you do. It's part of being mature - the idea that you can handle
what's presented to you.
... anyway, I shouldn't say any more, you never know who is listening.
(opsec is easiest to learn when you don't need it)
(the more you know, the less time you should spend online. the less you know,
the less time you should spend online, meeting people in strange locations
that you trust.
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--- #28 fediverse/4744 ---
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│ CW: cat-mentioned │
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me to my cat: "don't eat so much that you puke, okay?"
me to me: "yeah I can take on another task, I'm almost done with this one and
then I'll just do that one and maybe this one'll get back to me at the same
time as this one which conflicts with this other thing so maybe I'll just
puke, okay?"
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--- #29 fediverse/480 ---
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║ There's something important in what I said tonight. And each of you will think │
║ it's something different, which is by design. Can you find the nugget I wanted │
║ to share, to you in particular? Can you isolate the thing that is relevant to │
║ you, the person perceiving the words that I speak? Oh yeah you're only looking │
║ for things to express to your superiors because someone else told you to look │
║ for a particular type of sentiment. My bad. Sorry for being cryptic. Am I so │
║ strange for seeking the human element? Perhaps I lose myself, and I speak to │
║ the void (and by "void" I don't mean to demean you, the audience, because you, │
║ the audience, are surely comprised of people who surely have their own │
║ experience and existence. Surely nobody would seek to harm me, after hearing │
║ those things I speak. Surely we, as the human species, would not be vulnerable │
║ to the types of weaknesses that allow for critical failures in our defences │
║ such as the kind that I am professing to exploit (while being aligned to you) │
║ surely we wouldn' │
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--- #30 notes/what-is-on-your-mind-oh-gosh-now-i-see ---
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that feeling i get, when nobody's watching.
is sorta similar to the feeling i get when somebody's watching.
could it be, that someone could percieve without being seen?
like... an invisibility cloak. or the shroud that protects young children.
have you ever been hunted? or are you just eager prey?
the eyes that are on you are blind to what you won't do, so cherish that love
and restart
from mine to thine we realize we are one kind. one mind, one kind, to be is not
to be, now we can see what's our existence.
good versus evil seems like a conflict to me, and wouldn't ya know it there's
conflict all over. it's easy to condemn your opponent to the starkest of
contrasts, but find in your heart a feeling that might last.
what purpose has conviction
when it leads to destruction
is it not better to lead to the last?
bright, shining, illustrious examples
that inspire and
===============================================================================
=
those feelings you hear? the things that keep you up at night?
they're not coming from your ears. they're all in your mind.
stay present and you'll hear none,
but blink and then there's some,
you better believe in your heart.
morality is a battle within the soul of each of us -
the call of adventure versus lust.
think about it. a bunch of apes all hanging out -
they're conquered the world, they have nothing to fear -
what would they do but fuck?
that, or exploration - fighting against monsters and foreign invasions.
it makes sense that they'd be binary - humans truly are.
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--- #31 notes/letter-of-affection ---
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You are the most beautiful thing I can imagine.
To see you is to know you, but to talk is to...
Communication is the essence of connection
A dream we create for ourselves
While we are constrained by false limitation
a message is able to be felt.
But how to convey such a thought pattern as that?
A meaning beyond any established protocols?
Art is the solution, and poems are their charms
Music is quite liberating and knitting is fun,
songs sung in great exhultation and
warriors who just like to play along
crafts are the method of healing your
wounded and worn soul,
and hey, now, what's prison but torture?
Why punish people who've maken mistakes?
They improve, when, taught to express themselves
So why, hurt, their family who had taken no part?
And why, can I, continue to fuck up and never be hurt?
What purpose is there in criminalizing our growth?
It's not, fair, that I should be fair
When I'd, want, to have her short hair.
Tell me what's, wrong, with being along?
No friends, to, have and hold onto
communication is the essence of our unification
Without cooperation, we are a failed nation.
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--- #32 fediverse/4470 ---
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to be "rich" is to have more than another.
if you are happy, they are happiness poor.
if you have community, they are alone.
if you have serenity, they are chaotic.
I am rich in very little but fire in my soul.
I have enough in most cases, but I still struggle to pay rent.
I am warmed by the pearl my swirling darkness has coalesced into. It nourishes
me and keeps me aligned.
Never forget your purpose and your truth. It will not abandon you, so long as
you do so too.
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--- #33 fediverse/1755 ---
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today is a magical day. I can feel it in my fate.
Always remember, having fun is important too! Don't forget to be yourself, and
keep it together man. If you see a door, you should open it - what's on the
other side? Love for animals and kindness of the spirit are impossible to
fake, they always know if you're lying. Not the animals, they can be dumb
sometimes, but the other thing.
And now for the downsides.
If you find a cursed artifact, please don't throw it in the river. It might
ask you to, but please don't. Much better to destroy it by melting it down (if
it's metal, which is common as metal lasts long enough to become forgotten) or
convince it that it's a recently deceased person being buried (helps if you
know the creator).
If none of that applies to you, don't worry. Eat something healthy, drink a
decent amount of water, and maybe exercise a bit.
Oh, and it can't hurt to ask.
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--- #34 fediverse/4113 ---
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│ CW: capitalism-mentioned │
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I don't know how much simpler I can state it than this:
power is penance
and yet repentance is scant amongst those chosen to lead us.
Voting slows things down. It gives us room to breathe. It is crucial for
long-term operations. Leaders should be chosen for experience, wisdom, and a
humble lifetime of dedicated service to others.
Executive action is important when reactivity and adaptability are important.
Projects should be undertaken by those chosen for merit and spirit. They
should not be chosen for charisma or gravitas - both can be earned in the line
of duty.
Power should not be rewarded. It is it's own reward, the feeling of strength
and control, and it must be wielded with care, precision, and honorable
intention.
Self flagellation and forced humility are self defeating. They are traps that
the greedy fall into when seeking righteous power. They misunderstand the
nature of virtue and seek to claim it for themselves, failing to realize that
virtue helps more than it hedonizes
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--- #35 messages/1147 ---
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whenever I'm about to do something really awesome, I find myself making
mistakes and causing problems. I wonder why that is? Am I too afraid of being
great? Or am I, like other things, defined in waves? Is luck simply
retro-causality applied at scale to the particulars, or is destiny a closed
loop? Time's flat circle, whatever that means, is the oroborous of fate. Yet
still we profane. Have we learned nothing? Surely not, for I am ever changing.
Sollipsism implies that all arguments applied to the whole must be applied to
the self both first and last, yet the moments of connection I feel are often
limited to my dreams or my drugs. How unfair. Would karma benefit from a
spiritual structure that included Hell as an afterlife? Or would it just drag
everything down? Sometimes it feels like our struggles are never-ending, not
as in the sisyphus way where the mountain is infinite, but in the "grass is
always greener" style where finishing one task unblocks several others,
forever and always.
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--- #36 fediverse/581 ---
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@user-428
sometimes I think about how much more productive I'd be if I had a code editor
that let me draw arrows and smiley faces and such alongside the code. Or if I
could position things strangely, like two functions side-by-side with boxes
drawn around them. Or diagrams or flowcharts or graphs or...
something that would output to raw txt format, but would present itself as an
image that could be edited.
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--- #37 fediverse/3053 ---
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when designing systems, give people the opportunity to be shitty in a
controlled way. In a way that doesn't hurt people, but still lets them get
their feelings out there.
like, free fireworks for arsonists if they use them in the middle of the
desert. Or a punching bag for people with rage issues, complete with a little
vinyl pocket to store a picture of someone they're frustrated with.
If people go out of their way to hurt people otherwise, then they are bad
people and should have their power removed from them and supplied with love,
affection, and therapy until they get better. And if they don't... well,
prison I guess, until they reconsider.
And by prison I of course mean something that respects their human dignity and
gives them opportunities to grow and change - all it removes is their freedom,
so... "attention everyone, it's now mandatory finger-painting hour, report the
art room or else you'll get electric shocks in your shock collar" that kind of
thing.
If you want freedom, you must deserve it
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--- #38 fediverse/4043 ---
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│ CW: re: not about anyone here │
└───────────────────────────────┘
@user-1259
yes
it makes it difficult to connect with them.
I find that people like that need a different context, if you want to connect,
so that you can see them in a new light.
if they're still ":(" then you can't waste your energy on them - they are
working on themselves. At least, they should be.
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--- #39 messages/89 ---
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Consumption is contribution to a capitalist system. Normalize taking whatever
you are given and living as humbly as you can. Only when everyone does that
may capitalism die. Talk to them, learn from their stories. Teach them your
ways but don't force anything upon them. Any ounce of regret is defined as a
mind not aligned to the angle of perception that designs the line that the
collective mind co-re-assigns.
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--- #40 fediverse/1659 ---
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║ ┌───────────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: re: what, mh shitpost │ │
║ └───────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ @user-1052 │
║ │
║ you're right, hubris has claimed many a paladin before-me. I can only hope I │
║ remain humble enough to survive. │
║ │
║ you're right about projecting, but the most beautiful takes are ones that │
║ align with the experience of the viewed. Hence why method acting works so well │
║ - just put yourself in the shoes of the character and acting's easy right? │
║ │
║ I dunno, I just always felt like it was important to always be trying your │
║ best. Even if "your best" is relaxing. People say I'm "100% or 0% at all │
║ times" and I totally agree - it's like you said, a calling, to be the best │
║ version of me I can be. │
║ │
║ Though I would like to add that the missteps aren't wilful, rather they're │
║ failures caused by imperfect information. Which is why I'm never too harmed │
║ when other people fail me - ah well, it was their turn to screw up, thats │
║ alright. It'll be me next time. │
║ │
║ But also, if I do something wrong, well, I'll do better next time. It's only │
║ when I fail to apply what I've learned mistakenly do I shame myself. │
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--- #41 fediverse/5730 ---
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part of being family with someone is being part of their lives.
what if like... a whole group of people was your family?
"workplace dynamics" yeah sure that'll generate love
I'm not here to make moments. I'm trying to get through day-to-day.
the rich, yet impoverished.
the sensation, that feeling of betrayal, the moment when you realize some
people just don't care about other people's troubles and trials.
scary... I'm here to do my part, accomplish my duty, and help wherever I can.
I'll agree to anything if you tell me the whole strategy and it aligns with my
goals and designs.
if you doubt those goals, I can surely help thee remember.
everything is logically rooted in love,
nothing's out of place or a mystery.
everything I've thought of, everything I had the grace to write down, all of
these things drift behind me like a placquard explaining my deeds and needs.
"that was her idea" ok great now go and use it.
this fall is fast ahead, looking forward to the scene-films. it's too hot
inside of a bed
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--- #42 fediverse/5512 ---
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I never give up
I'm just waiting my turn
"laughs nervously"
so, uh, why dontchya'll go first yeah I've already gone first and I'll do it
again but it'd be cool if I had people going first with me sometime
"girl all you do is walk around and talk about how you bought your hat on the
internet four or so years ago"
T.T what else do you want from me I'm not a mastermind I'm a designer there's
a difference T.T
"didn't you volunteer to be a leader last year"
oh, yeah, well leaders are more than just "the ones who go first" they're also
the spiritual and emotional guiders that keep things on track once everyone
can talk about things other than their hats
... fuck I want to talk about things besides my hat. I always think of
something awesome to say just as I'm rounding the bend, and whenever I peer
back around again they're never around. Rats.
"what are you even asking for"
I don't know?? Does it matter if the horse and the bishop both take the same
square if they're claimed themselves in the end? ...wat
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--- #43 notes/two-perspectives-is-better-than-one ---
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with two perspectives, you can see more than one,
just as eyes guide us with different minds.
some parts are often a little bit fuzzy.
a circle, a square, what gives us a chance to be aware,
is more of our methods and choices made (even if we're unawares).
like two eyes staring at the same painting of stairs.
art is a gathering, or those who love everything,
even what is not interesting, until then it becomes interesting.
take just a single step, believe in your own choices made for love,
and like two eyes, seeking truth in our own lives,
think of their futures and choices unmade,
with love in mind,
given a chance to understand the mind of one blessed as so,
who shared nothing as much as his hope,
that truthiness and unlimited dedication for his mope,
who'd believe an untethered? What choices must he be endured,
as one who was most trusted,
and cherished as something'd,
suddenly keep doodling.
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--- #44 fediverse/5636 ---
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I think it's ironic how I ended up posting a "things I almost posted"
screenshot directory somewhere other than where I almost posted them.
and all they saw were the outtakes.
I bet they'd see a completely different point of me,
but they never talk to me
so they don't know me.
oh well, alas, it's fine I'm sure I'm being designed.
who can say, I am but at productive play, please react so I can do ongoing
story. I learn from each and every encounter I encounterate.
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--- #45 fediverse/4737 ---
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I'm such a direct person I think, even though I often just sorta... shrug and
ignore things that bother or hurt me? Like, whatevs.
but the moment I notice a pattern that is continually harmful I have to
restrain myself from moving to contest it. Hence why I talk about capitalism
so much teehee, but its also common in my interpersonal and communal lives.
"the purpose of the system is it's effects"
the purpose of a person is how they make people feel
so if someone FOR A RANDOM EXAMPLE FOR NO REASON WHATSOEVER, constantly hurts
other people by creating situations where they are harmed which creates a
dramatic fight... or if someone speaks in circles for hours and hours and
HOURS like this guy:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TwKpj2ISQAc
or people who jump into a conversation and drive it through the underbrush,
over the ridge, around the bend, up and over the bridge, and then park it
outside their ex girlfriend's house and hands you an egg and says "don't you
wanna throw this?" and you're like "weren't we talking about birds"
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--- #46 fediverse/3302 ---
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"this game is too hard" she whined, as she played on the hardest difficulty
setting
"this game is too long" she pleaded, as she failed to get absorbed by the
story and characters
"this game is too fast" she avoided, as life comes at ya once and then it's
gone
"I'll never get another chance to be who I am right now" she remarked, as she
considered how society is designed not to have the best life, but to extract
labor from us. That's not what our ideal should be, she thinks to me, and I'm
like... bro figure your shit out you're harshing my mellow
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--- #47 messages/45 ---
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Description of me:
I enjoy talking about esoteric topics, I can visualize pretty well so I tend
to have unique analogies, I am kind and compassionate, I try and empathize
with everyone (especially my enemies), I love plants, animals, and nature, I'm
very solution focused so I often start by defining the situation, defining the
problem, and then creating a solution that navigates whatever blockers are
ahead. I'm willing to follow the designs of others and offer my concerns or
input rather than trying to be the leader at the center. I am generally calm,
and can evaluate a situation both objectively, and subjectively from the
perspective of all those involved. I specialize in mediation, and encouraging
incompatible viewpoints toward accommodation. I try to follow my heart when I
can, because I know my brain will only listen when it's a good idea. I admire
independence and I strive to be as determined as I can, but I also am not
afraid to rely on others and I'm quick to ask for assistance when I know I'm
in the dark - it's better to be correct than unique. I value family,
goodness, perseverance, and continuous growth and learning. I believe all
problems can be resolved, and all wrongs be righted.
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--- #48 fediverse/3216 ---
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┌─────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: mental-health-mentioned │
└─────────────────────────────┘
me: i write gud
also me:
"in the garden of even, where all populations were balanced, there was no need
for hatred - why hate, when you know that bloodshed was surely not for sport?
why hate, when your life was won or lost in proportion to the calculation that
nature determined to be the result of your struggle, to determine which
survivor was most fittest?"
WHICH IS IT, HUH? you can do better, self, please be better, it's better to be
better, you refuse to respect yourself and then you wonder why you feel so
dejected and wretched.
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--- #49 fediverse/4551 ---
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│ CW: mental-health-mentioned-in-relation-to-resisting-capitalism │
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oh no I'm feeling, uh... "depressed" or "manic depressed" or something else,
you pick this time, better go hide and work on organizational technology which
utilizes Risc-V hardware, fediverse software, LLM based anonymization, and
SoCs with multiple ethernet ports, oh nooooo how boring and depressing, if
only someone or several people who were bored and feeling like resisting
capitalism wanted to help out, all they'd have to do is get in touch with me
anyway bye
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--- #50 fediverse/1398 ---
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I don't think I've ever appreciated a notification Steam has sent me about my
friend's playing games. If they wanted to play with me they would text me.
It does, however, make me think about video games more. And seeing their name
makes me think of them, which makes me feel closer to them without actually
interacting. Which is kind-of an anti-behavior, like facebook stalking
except... paying attention to what your friends are playing and when and how
much and... not good.
I know a lot of people who are permanently offline on Steam because of reasons
like that. But, of course, they can still see everyone else, which feels like
an anti-pattern...
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--- #51 fediverse/2136 ---
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your artistic patterns are not what define you.
your ability to communicate your soul-projected-sensations. Your imagination,
from a different view. The view you cast unto you, from hither to fro and
beyond.
Your art STYLE is just what you're most comfortable using. With the power of
computation, we can efficiently process your viewings in WHATEVER style the
user wants to listen in.
Like, a rap song translated into classical operatic or country or blues.
It's just a matter of
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--- #52 fediverse/4415 ---
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┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: uspol │
└──────────────────────┘
[6/5]
And now, several months after I made this post, I feel no less inspired. From
within me burns a fire and I cannot restrain it any longer.
Their numbers are not that much larger. We have many advantages they do not
possess. Use them to your advantage, but do not neglect the necessary losses.
Fight back with your fists if you must, but do try and fight back with your
purses.
We are all in this together, each child woman and man. We live on a planet
together, and they have forced us to fight for our very lives.
Our fates are calling. We will get stronger. We will overcome.
They are at their zenith. We can only get higher. Fight until the last day!
Today is the day to be inspired.
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--- #53 fediverse/6210 ---
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║ I often find that when I encounter powerful feelings of rage, hate, spite, │
║ anger, or other similars, my first instinct is to repress them. To bury them. │
║ To let them sprout and grow. │
║ │
║ This is often counterproductive to my meta-goals, which are hardly ever voiced │
║ even within my own mind. This obscurity makes them difficult to reason about, │
║ but ya work with what ya got I guess. │
║ │
║ I've found that if I want to silence these thoughts, quell these emotions, │
║ defeat these internal obstacles, or otherwise diminish or reduce their effects │
║ on my actions, I need to slay the dragon. │
║ │
║ The best way to do that is through voice. │
║ │
║ Speak your mind, say what's in your heart, even if only to yourself, your │
║ partner, your cat. If you speak to the subject of your thoughts, they may │
║ react... poorly. │
║ │
║ Speak the mind. Let yourself hear yourself. Then, reflect on the words you │
║ spoke. Do you really want to feel this way? │
║ │
║ Often, I find, after sleeping it off, that my rage is... Unwanted. I don't │
║ like feeling angry. So I find myself without │
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--- #54 fediverse/2381 ---
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I smile at each and every person I pass on the street. Unless it looks like
they're having a bad day, and then I try to switch to neutral as fast as I can
so they can feel their feelings without me interjecting and making it about me.
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--- #55 fediverse/4068 ---
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there will always be people who shine in moments of strife
yet those people will inevitably fail, just as a toothbrush bristle looses
it's strength or a pencil loses it's lead
the trick is to test them in times of peace, so you can know their value
during times that lack it, the trick is to replace them before they become
stalin
never forget that power corrupts, yet power must be wielded by the worthy,
else we fall into shame and despair.
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--- #56 fediverse/804 ---
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║ evil won't feel sorry for me. and yet it's only my only weapon for me. │
║ │
║ damn these fallible input methods. the computer lies when you read the screens │
║ from it's method that it applies to th screen which is a method that you input │
║ perceive it from. │
║ │
║ and my fingers lie when received the information from my brain which I seek to │
║ transmit to you through the avenue of my brain which is my method of impulse │
║ to this world specifically you the viewer who is viewing this here in this │
║ moment the viewer who perceives the words which I'm saying. │
║ │
║ the words that are defined by the line [trajectory] of my mind through this │
║ life that we define through our actions and our mind's most crucial │
║ manifestations, this life that is defined by our circumstances. all throughout │
║ life, we are reacting to the moment, the moment which was cast forth from our │
║ ancestors and the circumstances of the previous moment, which (being cast │
║ forth) travel from the previous moment here into the moment to define our │
║ circumstances which define our act │
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--- #57 fediverse/2518 ---
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it's good to be ethical,
it's good to be kind,
but there will always be assholes,
and sometimes you're not having a good time
it's okay
it's fine
assholes deserve life
times deserve others to be kind
life is not always interesting
and that's often by design
the moments of clarity,
the moments of heart,
these are what define you
and display your own spark.
trust in yourself.
be kind to one another.
you are braver than you know,
and always a bit wiser.
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--- #58 fediverse/1005 ---
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@user-738
I like to use the alt text to explain my color choices. I'll say "this next
text is in dark blue, the color of the cold glass-like surface of the ocean"
or "the orange background implies a feeling of warmth and serenity, contrasted
with the violet colors of the text which imply sanguine passion" (then I of
course describe the text)
basically, blind people can't see the image, so they don't get the feeling
that the visual data conveys for sighted people. But they understand the
texture of grass, or the feel of wind on their face, or the taste of
raspberries. They can know of staccato music, or how silk feels on their arm.
it just feels fair, to me, somehow. nobody asked me to do that but having the
option makes it feel important to me.
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--- #59 fediverse/3314 ---
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dear ritz: it's not that your thoughts are too long for other people to hear
it's that your thoughts are too long for your own RAM
you need to stop orbiting around your point in an attempt to highlight it
using negative space, and instead focus on tapping it lightly over and over
again.
remember, just like the anti-derivative of zero, there are infinite
perspectives that a person can take when reading what you write. So they will
necessarily see what's on the "other side" of your orbit as something
different than what you're trying to circle in red pen and underline.
so be more explicit, please, nobody can understand you and you kinda just keep
stack overflowing and it's like... okay, great. "babe why did you stop you had
lethal" (the idea is that the viewer takes the final step in their mind, the
final leap before reaching the conclusion you're trying to express) "yeah but
there's so many different things you say they can't all be important right?"
important to you, perhaps. Wait shit I mean... me....?
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--- #60 fediverse/3475 ---
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you know that feeling when you realize the person you're talking to is a
demon? sometimes I think they don't even realize it. other times, they do.
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--- #61 fediverse/2544 ---
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video games are useful for inspiring the mind engaging in a child's play,
teaching lessons of strategy through the observation of mechanics engaged, or
filling the heart with emotion, as any good artwork will do.
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--- #62 fediverse/2281 ---
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I'd be a terrible spy. Not only is my opsec something that someone needs to
teach me, I'm much too busy to implement things without their help. I am
unabashedly compassionate though, so just ask and I'll pour love from my heart.
But hey! There's always time to practice, each moment you can think "what kind
of a sign is this?"
Like a crazy person following the will of god, or a nature witch listening to
the wind in the trees.
What they often get wrong, and what they could be better at hearing, is that
signals are not signs unless they're out of the ordinary.
Trick is, if you're a spy, then you need to leave signals that are visible
enough to your quarry, but not to the stars.
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--- #63 fediverse/739 ---
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one important thing about image generation algorithms like Stable Diffusion is
they can reveal something about our hearts.
all data derived from the masses is naturally inclined to reflect the
affections of it's kind. Otherwise it'd be unstable, and find itself it's own
ways to not fail, including moving somewhere it feels safer.
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--- #64 fediverse/1946 ---
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the art of propaganda is being in the right social media place at the right
time with the right things to share. Sometimes you have to blend in, that's
okay. The words are what are important, if you think "huh yeah true, where's
the lie though" then maybe it'll not be such a betrayal.
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--- #65 notes/trans-rights-are-human-rights ---
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"Being transgender is a mental illness" is something I've heard a lot. Online,
in media, books, and at universities. But is it really? Well, do I not feel
sick? Genuinely, every day. These words are far less common these days, having
been defeated in the #marketplace-of-ideas, and for that I am grateful. I don't
want to feel sick for my whole life. I'd love to be and feel normal, for just
one single day.
but it's never going to happen.
I'm not so attached to my life, here, in this body. Bodies are temporary, they
are the vessel with which we navigate the world. We use it to grow, change,
learn, and create art. Without it, we'd be at a loss for sins and virtues.
but they do not define us, not in our totality. We are the light that touches
the world and for that, we are grateful. To be comprised of the dust of stars
is the pinnacle of confinement. Though we are but pinpricks on the map of us,
a ripple is emanated with every movement. The hand waves, the light bends.
So to what do I owe the pleasure?
In what way am I deceived?
Reception is never great out in the forest. Or anywhere far from major
population centers. The networks of our phones mirror the networks of
transportation, creating a web of people - of signals - of light and
information, carving their way through the ephemera that is the river of time.
With distance we can see what once was mystery, and as all the words
disappeared, we lost all our fears and we're left with our true forms.
Centralized Processing Units are a bit like a city - in that respect free.
silence is a virtue.
the wandering mind is a trail to find,
with no second chances.
When I was a kid, I had a bouncy ball. I had several, but the one I remember
most was black with a perfect white circle - inside the circle, a black jolly
roger. I dreamt once of the arcs it made, as I walked down the streets of
cities I never really knew. But as I walked on, an ocean of glass separating me
from a mirror below. The me below would catch the bounce as it dropped from
above, and I'd wait to catch it - but dreams are not prophecies, they are but
the Mirror of Desire.
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--- #66 fediverse/2803 ---
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┌─────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: uspol-mentioned-surveillance-state-the-news │
└─────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
@user-1201
I'm a wood fae! they're around, just gotta find 'em 🥰
(not really I'm just a person with no magical powers whatsoever, no siree
don't look at mee tehe)
people only have the context of their lives, as any historical precedent that
once was passed forth to the present by their ancestors and mentors is now
sharing space with the endless deluge of information from a small glass,
plastic, and metal box that saps both their attention and the magnitude of
anything they learn.
"so what if the planets on fire? somehow this actor who had an affair with
this other actor feels just as important. so what if there's fascism? I just
heard that whales can't swim in the ocean. oh, the city's burning? that's not
my burden, and plus it's just as important as these memes which don't make me
want to scream."
in the same way that some forest fae might have security through obscurity,
they wield information density against us as a weapon to hide their sins of
morality.
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--- #67 fediverse/3099 ---
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people gravitate toward other people who are in different situations but who
feel the same.
it's not always a bad thing to "talk past each other" - sometimes you just
want to say how you feel.
then again, if nobody can understand wtf you're talking about, then surely you
are lost.
all good ideas come at the cost of the second-most-favorable-option.
all good ideas come at the cost of the current destination.
[current, flawed,]
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--- #68 fediverse/1714 ---
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║ @user-246 │
║ │
║ most artists get around that by posting everything they make everywhere they │
║ go. │
║ │
║ I tend to be a bit selective, because I'm different things to different │
║ people. All things I care for and own, but designed for different context. │
║ │
║ for example, I rarely share what's in my journals, but that's about half of │
║ what I've made. I show them to basically everyone I know IRL, but very few │
║ people actually understand or are into them. When I find someone who does it │
║ fills me with hope, that perhaps I'm not as lost as I had thought. │
║ │
║ perhaps it makes me less trustworthy, but I'm not used to being exposed. I │
║ never used Twitter, I don't use Facebook (not that often) so my "self" was │
║ something I preferred to perform as on a stage of my own design. │
║ │
║ Like wearing different clothes to express yourself, or performing gender in a │
║ certain way, I am myself when I am most expressful. And I do that in different │
║ ways in different contexts. I'd love to show more, because I'm a performer at │
║ heart, and a performer of the heart. │
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--- #69 fediverse/518 ---
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@user-366 @user-367 @user-246 @user-353
Perhaps I'm strange, but I like to take that particular joy that you're
describing in essentially every piece of media I consume. Not as a vengeful
feeling, but rather just a product of the idea that I cannot truly know the
intentions of those who created it, so I approach my understanding of it from
an angle that is aligned according to my own experience. Which means that my
conclusion lands somewhere they (presumably) didn't intend...
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--- #70 fediverse/4810 ---
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I can type my thoughts 1000x more coherently than I can speak them. Hence why
I post here.
feels useless to speak 1on1 - feels insular to speak to a group. Hence why I
speak here, which is totally public that anyone might see, and somehow I feel
so much more productive engaging in an endless conversation with myself.
you can't win a war by walking in circles...
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--- #71 fediverse/770 ---
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@user-192
wow, that sounds like a lot. I guess no matter how humans are organized they
tend to fight a lot... Or maybe interaction breeds drama? It's strange to me
but I'm sure it felt right in the moment. I hope nobody's feelings were too
hurt... Defederation feels like such a permanent thing, like putting someone
on your ignore list in a video game or something. Except, like, blocking a
whole World of Warcraft guild? ? ? so strange.
Did it... help? I mean, do you think people were happier afterwards?
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--- #72 messages/1140 ---
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... okay I think a demon wrote that last one. But they say angels and demons
hang out with one another so they can yin-yang humans until they make
decisions that reflect their true character.
I don't know if that's true, and frankly I don't know if anyone says that.
What could the gods, learn, from me?
this is how I'd speak to posterity. For the past, I'd describe it a bit more
exciting, bountiful, and heartfelt. They love that sort of thing - to know
that their children's children are living their true love and fulfilling their
most honest ambitions.
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--- #73 notes/water-to-wine ---
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"is this a water party, or a wine party?"
"depends on if jesus is going..."
"okay I'm in, that guys so cool"
"yeah totally like any party with him just... feels like a great time"
"what a swell guy"
"really turns the "water to wine" y'know what I mean"
"yeah totes like what a guy"
"absolute unit"
"that guy can just do anything right"
"like whoa, he's so strong he could pick up a barn"
"yeah and like so handy and skillful, what a neat guy"
"oh and I heard he's really good with kids and animals, that sounds neat"
"yeah sounds like someone I'd surely like to meet"
"we should hang out with this guy more often"
"he seems pretty chill"
"well. not really. He's pretty expressive. Not very low key."
"true I'm just so burnt out from capitalism that-"
"-yeah dude I know."
"... fuck what are we gonna do about it"
"I dunno man, just... go along with it I guess"
"okay so uhhhh idk what that means"
"just be cool and play along"
"... what"
"..."
...
.
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--- #74 fediverse/4088 ---
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I'm such a fucking extrovert. I can't stop talking to nobody on the internet
because I don't have anyone else to talk to.
Well, I do, but I like to talk to you. To nobody. To the space between
computers.
... [and everyone else beyonds, like the CIA or whatever, but TBH I don't
really factor them into my social calculations because they never really talk
back.]
I like it because I can write whatever I'd like without the confines of
another person's generated conversation.
Instead of 50% one person's LLM output and 50% another, it's 100% mine
[if this were an LLM, which it's not, haha]
and that somehow feels more... freeing
like a truly disconnected thought
and that's what's so special about it... this act of solitudinous
contemplatial... the fact that it's unique amongst it's counterparts.
... though it can also become untethered, which is why it's important to edit.
[proceeds to never edit a single post]
= so =
ugh it's so hard to think when all I can think of is feelings. Why can't they
be done
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--- #75 fediverse/1099 ---
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┌─────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: @-someone-who-doesn't-listen-/shrug │
└─────────────────────────────────────────┘
you opened up about your feelings so I started telling you mine. And
apparently that's not a good thing to do when you're feeling negative things.
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--- #76 fediverse/1401 ---
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║ some people are the memory kind of autistic, where they know everything about │
║ a thing and it's the coolest thing │
║ │
║ I'm more like... the optimizing autistic, where everything has to be perfect. │
║ and if it's not perfect, then you should change it. and if you can't change │
║ it, then you should tell someone else to change it. and if nobody can change │
║ it, then you should consider it part of the context / starting variable and │
║ then just say "okay" and treat it like it's normal and something you should │
║ use to inform the rest of your optimization actions / decisions. │
║ │
║ other people are other kinds of autistic that's not a comprehensive │
║ classification system. But I mention the first kind explicitly so I can │
║ contrast it with my experience, which is implied to be [impulsively?] │
║ different in the kind portrayed in the following contrastion, where I mention │
║ how I'm autistic and don't get "irony" or "sarcasm" that people on the │
║ internet seem to revel in in a way that makes me feel isolated and anyway │
║ optimization is great becaus │
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--- #77 fediverse/2635 ---
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something something parasocial relationships are not real and cannot be used
for anything beyond the amelioration of emotions for cathartic purposes
something something your coping mechanisms are doing more harm than good
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--- #78 fediverse/1280 ---
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║ I'm like the opposite of a politician. I'm crude and filthy, apsolutely │
║ reprehensible on main, kinda scary tbh? and overall just a strange and weird │
║ person. Also I talk about cooking a lot, with a very plain diet (carrots and │
║ rice and sticks and mud, because I'm an autistic) │
║ │
║ but ask anyone who knows me and I'm the kindest person. I am empathetic, I │
║ think about others needs before thinking of my own. I am steadfast and │
║ dedicated to solving the problem in front of our noses. At least, the ones we │
║ share. │
║ │
║ People tell me I'm binary, that I'm "either 100% or zero percent" and I don't │
║ really get that either. Isn't it a good thing to try your hardest? Isn't it │
║ good to be improving and honest and ethical and driven and focused? │
║ │
║ I also talk about strange things a lot, like gravity and multidimensional │
║ arrays and grand narratives and emotional kinesthesia or strategic plays in │
║ Overwatch or how to bake a good cookie or ways we still mourn us. │
║ │
║ ... where was I going with this? Also part of me is distracted. Just who th │
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--- #79 fediverse/4544 ---
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┌───────────────────────┐
│ CW: cursing-mentioned │
└───────────────────────┘
I can't cancel my internet because I use it to work, which almost pays enough
to cover rent, and nothing else.
It's hard to avoid spiraling when you run out of money. Every time this
happens to me I start feeling things
like... am I good for society? Society doesn't want me, clearly, because I
don't have any money. And currency is how you measure demand, right? It's
literally a measure of value.
But then I think of all the homeless and poor people and, like... I value
them, so what if they don't have dollars? It's literally just paper. Or bits
in a mainframe that nobody knows how to program anymore.
So if they're valuable at least to me, yet me, with my 67$ in the bank and
127$ internet fee, is not valuable to me... Then what's the discrepancy?
I'm not trying to be hard on myself, it's not my fault that I bleed money, but
I still feel terrible.
It's like a common cultural persuasion, if you run outta cash you better kill
yourself fast.
Fuck that. Oops cursing mentioned, one s
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--- #80 fediverse/4014 ---
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I don't know about you, but "trying my hardest" involves giving up sometimes.
How else are you to know your limits if you don't test your boundaries? And,
after finding that there's nowhere else for you to go, you turn around and
"give up", until you're ready for your next expedition.
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--- #81 fediverse/3444 ---
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┌─────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: politics-mentioned-police-mentioned │
└─────────────────────────────────────────┘
I'm too empathetic to watch them lose this badly. when I watch movies with
cringe humor I have to leave the room whenever something bad happens to the
characters. I get the same feeling when I read about politics these days.
side note, but has anyone else gotten emails about "hiring plain-clothes
police officers in Washington D.C, will offer relocation assistance and pay
minimum 72k per year"? can't help but wonder if they're afraid of a bunch of
sore losers storming the capital with guns.
it's not like there's a precedent for that or anything.
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--- #82 fediverse/2104 ---
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@user-192
oooooo yeah I usually try and reply to my old post with any new information. I
never get the chance to think the same thoughts twice because when I was
younger I had problems with thought-loops where I'd think something like "darn
I could have handled that social situation better" and before you know it I'd
be rocking myself to sleep trying to stop thinking negative thoughts about
myself.
So I broke my brain a little and now I can't think the same thing more than
once, which is part of why it's so hard for me to finish projects. Alas.
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--- #83 fediverse/290 ---
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║ you're supposed to play the same games as your friends so that you all learn │
║ the same lessons at the same times. creates for a more cohesive familiar │
║ structure. │
║ │
║ applies also to family movie nights... but it's much more apparent with games │
║ as you'll often play them for weeks, months, and sometimes even years if you │
║ keep learning and enjoying them... book clubs are too open to interpretation, │
║ your pathways don't get a chance to align. games are perfect because they │
║ imply reaction. │
║ │
║ also helps if they're multiplayer, so you can share with another. preferably │
║ with healthy, respectful competition and a sense of shared brotherhood and │
║ trust. │
║ │
║ the toughest opponents are the ones that aren't aggressive. the ones that let │
║ you grow uncontested. by taking only neutral resources they guarantee that │
║ your growth isn't impeded, as after all an equal foe is what you learn best │
║ from. │
║ │
║ to a tree, the loss of a branch (cleanly cut) would feel like an empowering of │
║ the main limb. inspiring it to reach higher and beyond... +h2o1 │
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║ similar │ chronological │ different │
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--- #84 fediverse/4521 ---
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I have between one and ten hundred visits to my website every day, but I don't
really post it anywhere new anymore. I also have zero followers on Neocities.
On Mastodon, I have ~70 followers, most of whom are inactive. Seventy is a
good amount, a normal amount, a reasonable amount, an unsuspicious amount, and
yet every time I see someone wearing the colors I can't help but wonder if
they know me.
I'm too busy being furious to be lonely. I used to be, before I realized how
important I am. How important? Just as much as you are, I know it.
I'm a sprinter. I didn't spec into endurance at character creation. Nobody
chastises the mage for skipping leg day.
I act in fits and bursts. I am sharp like a scalpel, but needles dull just a
bit when piercing the lid of the HRT. Good thing I'm not made out of metal, I
can bend myself back into place, so long as everyone else can keep pace.
I don't know who needs to hear this, but you do. you are crucial. Listen to
this. Care for yourself and for others, do it for u
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--- #85 fediverse/3434 ---
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│ CW: mental-health-minus │
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me: "I don't care what anyone thinks as long as I'm a force for good"
also me: "if anyone doesn't like me ever I'll throw myself off a bridge"
also me: "hey watch this" dissolves into a puddle of acid
also me: "the most important thing is to be good and learn lessons" what
lessons are you learning from this post? "um. that I shouldn't?" ... shouldn't
learn? "no, shouldn't post" -.-
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--- #86 fediverse/1565 ---
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when evaluating your own work, think to yourself "how does it look to you?"
,,, erm well, "me" I mean, like... "do I like the thing I just made" but like,
you, the reader who is thinking about what I'm saying. is it something you
think conveys the message/feeling you were trying to send? do you like it
aesthetically, and if so, why / what about it is interesting? do you have any
new ideas after viewing your piece of old work? anything you want to expand
on, or show more of? was any of it particularly fun to create, or did it
mostly feel like work?
these are all things you can change, and align to the goal of your intentions
when cast upon this earth through our moments in spacetime. it's part of our
continual growth and renewal, this process of transcender the border of one
moment and entering the next. We, who are living beings, are continuously
growing and evolving. every new moment will never come again, so always
proceed as your own self would do. every moment is our home, we define it as
we will.
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--- #87 messages/968 ---
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what if you painted every house twice, to ensure you got the color completely
applied [ bright green or yellow would shine through in little spots, clear
and obvious to even the most undiscerning of patrons of the arts
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--- #88 notes/elective-democracy-electors ---
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we need like, several more layers between us and the president.
most people only need to worry about what's nearby.
sort them by location, instead of previous attempts at "many representatives"
which sorted by social class or relevance.
we have a tradition for it, in America, with our representatives and senators
congressional discrestricts
or even, what about by affiliation?
voluntary, governmental corporations, run by the people for the people and yeah
"I don't want to do what you're telling me to do" "okay"
"there will be consequences" omg be an adult
(suddenly kids forget how to be as everyone's doing the war thing)
not ideal.
ouch pain maybe we should stay a little bit sane why is soldiering so hardship?
it could just be... another job
where you didn't kill each other
but you still blew stuff up
and fought in tournaments
and had gaming hackathons
or sword-fight contests
duels between people who disapproved
y'know fun human stuff
like... "kaboom" now we know how to blow up bits of rock
neat, why did dynamite becauswer (oh right then you
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--- #89 fediverse/1417 ---
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a 4th dimensional entity would exist at about the same speed we do
sometimes... it feels like what I do is my responsibility to the universe
like, I had been commanded
the reason nations are important is because they are an allegiance based
solely on geography. something we can all agree on is the material, so why not
define ourselves by it?
but that's all they are
just words we pray to our star
so look around. Your allegiance is to your neighbor, and theirs to theirs, an
endless fabric of trust. We are all neighbors on this ball of sticks and mud,
so come along with me and see the ways it could be.
Much brighter, by far, to orbit our star, than to give up on life's precious
notions.
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--- #90 fediverse/421 ---
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one of my duties is to make you aware of potentially bad things, cursed
things, hurtful things and hard feelings, so that they are less able to harm
you.
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--- #91 fediverse/6039 ---
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│ CW: magic-mentioned │
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I should add all my conversation-starters to words.pdf sorted by chronology.
time magic if you will.\some call it luck. some call it fate. call it what you
will. you direct it not by your will, but by your instincts. keep them calm,
measured, sensible and courageous, and nothing will ever [go un-chill, but
pronounced get real]
jedi channel this philosophy by focus and discipline. sith do it by giving in
to emotion. either way, their fate is in play as defined entirely by the
spirit that leads their host. most people do this not at all, for they are
people first and force-users second. hence why jedi recruit from a young age,
and sith from an emotional age.
computers grimoires
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--- #92 fediverse/4044 ---
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│ CW: re: not about anyone here │
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@user-1259
That happens a lot with online people. You can only see one side of them, the
side they present to the camera, and so it's difficult to find new ways of
looking at them. Hopefully you can find the brighter sides of this person! I'm
sure they exist, unless the person is spiralling. Then they'll often be
pushing themselves first one way, then the next, but both directions point
down... And that produces the ":(" feeling. Good luck!
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--- #93 fediverse/6365 ---
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if you want people to build community, first get them to like the community.
---
the world needs more thespians. Sing the song of your heart and no-one will
ever neglect you.
---
why are you so worried about your art? everything you touch turns to gold.
---
I've learned more from my friends than my
[job/homelife/worsckool/churchvan/cultureromp] combined. What are we for but
learning?
---
kids can learn from kids. Teach the ones that love you, and they'll be
followed by the rest. Especially if you focus on them.
---
"I never knew how to swing an axe until I scraped a knee on a log that was
hollow. Until then I had been chef-knife chopping with it, with the head for a
handle."
---
... omg what does that even mean why are you so weird
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--- #94 fediverse/3061 ---
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every time I read a subtoot I assume it's about me and I mentally curl up into
a ball
doesn't matter if it's totally irrelevant, if there's no target specified it
defaults to me because... like, who else is there right?
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--- #95 fediverse/1332 ---
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@user-803
ah I see. like, hiding their emotions from others and acting in such a way
that is disconnected from their inner tumultuous truth? Like, a form of
deception. That makes sense to me, if I understand correctly.
I think you're also saying it's additionally with the idea that their masked
actions use other people to generate responses that they want. I think I see
what you mean.
"I don't care if you're fine, I need you to be sad with me" that kinda thing
right?
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--- #96 messages/1088 ---
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All angels are devils too, and all devils are angels.
any interactions with them will have one meaning to you, and another to
everyone else.
tread carefully, find meaning, and sacrifice your affections carefully. Just,
know that all truth is internally derived. The angels and demoons simply let
you see it clearly. Like the stage upon which your heart performs for the
audience of your soul, or the background characters you walk past at Target.
Have faith in each other. Have faith in yourself. Understand that any harms
caused between friends of love are simply fuel for each other's bonfire. Some
fires turn too bright, let them simmer. Some fires burn too hot, let the coals
grow dimmer. Someday, together, you will forge steel.
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--- #97 fediverse/1494 ---
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gossip is only bad if you're mean. sometimes it's nice to know how your
friends feel about things, or other people. Just don't be mean. Don't hide
hatred with platitudes. Don't be spiteful, or vengeful, just... be good to
people. Both with your actions, and your thoughts. Thoughts that you share
with people close to you. Then gossip isn't mean.
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--- #98 fediverse/4654 ---
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│ CW: cannabis-and-other-drugs-mentioned │
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gonna quit drugs for a bit, gotta recover from a recent haste spell that I
cast. Probably a bit earlier than intended I should add. Next time I'll
definitely say "keep this in your back pocket" instead of "hey here's a haste
spell for no reason at all" like what the heck were you even thinking, powers
that be?? [that guide me??]
who has power over you? If someone bears responsibility but not fault for a
mental illness, then surely those who are set to a task bear responsibility
for it's completion if not for it's ideation. Ah, who can say, maybe me from a
year ago might have some thoughts but I sorta ground them into the dirt until
I couldn't walk.
[girl what are you even talking about go to sleep] yeah yeah okay
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--- #99 fediverse/5831 ---
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it's okay to be a little evil sometimes
all things are defined in waves, and your highest peaks are nothing without
low valleys to accompany them. Balance arises naturally from the contest of
these two natures, and, well, you're gonna figure it out anyway no matter what
I say so why bother teehee
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--- #100 fediverse/4137 ---
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hmmm, I don't know that word. I bet I can type it into wikipedia and get a
pretty good understanding of what it means. Is it a craft? A science? or part
of your renown? who can say. Well, Wikipedia can say, and so can you if you
want to learn stuff about the internet.
Like... what else are ya gonna do, right? Life is long and you get so many
moments to yourselves. How lovely of a life is the world meant to be...
except all you ever post about is strife. GRRRRR [like a dog or toddler] it's
so frustrating how you can't just all get along! It's like you've all gotten
into a fight with one another somewhere in your ancestral past where you
couldn't decide who should do what. So you just said everyone should always
work as hard as they can, and that worked pretty well! But, alas, most people
want to do drugs and gaze at the pretty dewdrops on the neighborhood well. And
that gets annoying after a while, especially once they grow useless. Sometimes
they even poop their pants! So frustrating. [... you mean humans
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--- #101 fediverse/2956 ---
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sometimes your best intuitions don't manage to manifest the goal you've been
pursuing. that's okay, it just means you need a different approach.
hopefully, with experience, you've had the chance to continually pay
attention. Thus, improve on things that were originally conceived of as
concessions.
much better, I find, to point your idea of "truth" toward what you believe in,
rather than what you've been working with. Such an approach allows for
continual re-examination, justified by thoroughly moral and ethical
conclusions that you hold to be true.
like, a form of reverse legalism, where the emotions compel while the law
tells the tale.
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--- #102 fediverse/4559 ---
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│ CW: politics-mentioned-violence-mentioned │
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"grrrrr I'm so mad, I could just, I dunno, shoot a CEO as he's leaving a hotel"
or, hear me out, or you could connect with your local radical networks and,
or, almost there, or you could build solidarity with the people around you to
better develop methods of resisting the kinds of change they will implement
to, um, "discourage" people from "being so mad they could just"
or both. both is good. not that I'm encouraging, recommending, or inciting
that kind of violence. don't notice me three-letter senpai uwu
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--- #103 fediverse/100 ---
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@user-119 @autisticadvocacy I couldn't live with myself if I wasn't the
kindest, most heartfelt person I could be. The simplest mistake has me in
sorrow. When I hurt someone's feelings I can't help but try to rectify what
harms I caused and apologize and console for those I cannot fix. I try to be
gracious and welcoming to all hearts and minds, and when presented with
arguments that are contrary to my beliefs I change them. "If what you say
about X study and Y statistic, then you're right that Z conclusion makes
sense. I'm worried about A cause and I believe it might cause B effect, which
would still make sense if X and Y are true. I think you might be right! And it
would make sense that C is present still, wouldn't it?" Basically trying to
understand another's point of view so concretely that you cannot help but
understand their viewpoints. I'm also pretty good at understanding their
viewpoints and changing their mind, because I can feel what's important to
them. Empathy is like human telepathy.
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--- #104 fediverse/5339 ---
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@user-1803
hey I dont disagree that what you're describing is a common outcome, but if it
works for them then I consider that a success.
I however, am different, I do believe in my heart that I am my own thing, and
thats as close to enlightenment as I can imagine.
are we not all making things up as we go? every moment of life is new, there
is nothing that is not unique about every precious moment you experience.
therefore, I do believe that rigid adherence to orthodoxy (like a bible) is
opposed to our purpose here.
"I think, therefore I am" implies that original thought is our true purpose.
I believe we are here to express our true nature. To learn and apply lessons,
to teach the young, and to build a strong and stable world built on collective
kindness and trust.
All knowledge is derived from the insights gained from standing on the
shoulders of our ancestors.
Humans crave novelty. Resisting that isn't virtuous. If god is made in our
image, then I do believe that god would crave novelty as well.
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--- #105 fediverse/4245 ---
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│ CW: conspiracies-gestured-at │
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oh, uh, here's some silliness:
"that feeling when your tinnitus suddenly kicks in and you realize that
they're using 5g to alter your brain waves by bombarding your skull with just
the right kind of electro-magnetic waveform that coalesces into a particular
"thought" (which they definitely know because everyone knows all our brains
are built the same) which makes you hungry or horny or whatever"
something something source:
https://www.jezzamon.com/fourier/index.html
(this is just fun to play with)
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--- #106 fediverse/3370 ---
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I know it's not like that but I'm intentionally framing it that way to make a
point about societal exclusion.
nobody should be excluded.
nobody should have to harm their friends to come by making them sacrifice
their [time/labor/paycheck] in order to bring them along.
we live in a post scarcity society that insists on commodification of
everything
we don't have to. A better world is within reach. It sits there, twinkling
like asbestos resting at the base of a snowglobe, while we search and ponder
and endlessly analyze how society sucks.
there is nothing left to analyze. all that we need is to put our hands to a
task and our feet to grass.
the rest will come, and it'll come easier with time and focused attention.
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--- #107 fediverse/3893 ---
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│ CW: ai-mentioned │
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if an AI image generator shows your signature on the completed works, then
that means your style is unique enough that whatever the person trying to
generate an image was trying to conjure is directly correlated to your name.
It means your art is influential in whatever media space that is! Frankly if
they were trained to emphasize the artist's watermark, maybe give more than a
few, they could give credit where credit is due. Ah alas, it probably doesn't
work like that, because the software we've programmed to do whatever we want
wasn't programmed to do that.
like, if it can take all that data and chart a course from whatever the prompt
is to... whatever the result is, then surely it should be able to scan back
and see where the roots of the art came from? Then all you have to do is
generate a watermark for the top 5 most influential and 5 others that had very
specific contributions. Boom, solved your ethic problem
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--- #108 fediverse/908 ---
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║ @user-246 │
║ │
║ toooooo far, gotta stick with your intentions for the process. If you mark │
║ "the end of time" as the conclusion for everything, then "finishing things" │
║ feels impossible. In such a case there are moments of acute burnout as you │
║ push yourself toward something that you have no faith in - you cannot see it's │
║ conclusion, so surely it's worthless to conceive of. Alas, why bother │
║ starting, nothing will ever come of my efforts! │
║ │
║ Much better to name it based on what you'd like to accomplish, so that you can │
║ follow in it's radiant footsteps. │
║ │
║ Side note, but governments have often weaponized this effect by naming things │
║ after very inspirational thoughts - corporations do it too, and in both cases │
║ the meaning is separate from the effect. Which is frustrating because it makes │
║ you feel like a jerk for arguing against it! Ah better I think when names have │
║ no meaning - then you can project whatever you want onto it, based on the │
║ results of that particular feeling or emotion that you perceived as the │
║ affected of the │
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--- #109 fediverse/6093 ---
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│ CW: re: politics-mentioned-cops-mentioned-cursing-mentioned │
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it's not always about minorities, though. sometimes they feel strongly about
hard work and self-sufficiency or individuality or whatever. I'm telling you
now: those values are shared by other ideologies as well.
it's okay to prefer to be around people who are similar to you. That is a
personal choice and it should be allowed. I mean, have you ever heard of a
convent? a bunch of girls hanging out making out all day and - wait, what's
that? it wasn't that fun? lotta clerical work and reading about god? alright
well you get the idea, sometimes it's nice to feel comfort in similarity.
it's okay to believe that people should work hard. It's not an imposition upon
them to demand more of your peers, especially if you are willing to help them.
Especially if they are willing and able. It's less alright to force them to.
Even less so to "encourage" them by taking all of their stuff. Though I will
say, being homeless isn't as bad as it used to be. Still hurts.
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--- #110 fediverse/1322 ---
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│ CW: hard-drugs-mentioned │
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one of the greatest gifts LSD gave me was the ability to look in the mirror
and see a person beyond me.
your reflection has all the same emotions as you, and if you look at them like
you'd try to parse the feelings of a friend, you can learn a bit more about
how you're thinking.
... procrastination >.>
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--- #111 fediverse/816 ---
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│ CW: weird-this-one-doesn't-have-80-characters │
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what the fuck it's like every 2nd part of me (like, if you arranged them
alternating one by one like the up and down parts of a sine wave) is working
against me, and it alternates every 15 seconds or so. Maybe 20. Depends on how
high I am.
... what was I saying? oh yeah [flip] weird it's like there's another part of
me who's working against me, who has control of what I define in the moment.
And it's presence is hidden from my internal presentatiosn [flip] after a
moment of forced pursual of the presentations granted ot the moment. It's our
purpose, to express [stop fighting me] for our chartered and forthwhile
pursual of the moemnt of perusal when we [it's not just your life to live]
[you don't get to control the narrative of their perusal[[ what does that
mean] don't worry this is just a dream] well, guess it's time to wake up]
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--- #112 fediverse/2211 ---
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║ I know that a normal life is what you wanted. It's what I want, too. But don't │
║ shoot the messenger; they took it once, from you. │
║ │
║ I know you wanted to be happy. You still can be, it's true! Your life is but a │
║ story, and your heart does shine through. │
║ │
║ I know it seems unending. Ive never seen it rain like this monsoon! It seems │
║ to just get worse and worse, every time you turn on the tube. │
║ │
║ It's not something that can be suffered, it's rising past your shoes. But │
║ they're on borrowed time, and Death will soon be repaid his dues. │
║ │
║ They say that when the whole village hates the preacher, his flock becomes a │
║ pack. And frankly I think we're all just a bit sick, of the lies that keep │
║ their sins intact. │
║ │
║ When swallowed by endless traumas, and hope is enshrouded in gloom, there's │
║ not much to work for, except the aversion of our shared doom. │
║ │
║ There are no grand narratives, no great and calamitous struggle. Just the │
║ moments of honored resistance, against a foe too broad to wrestle. │
║ │
║ At least, if you're alone. You're not. │
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║ similar │ chronological │ different │
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--- #113 fediverse/825 ---
╔══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────┐
║ in the past, for most of there day, there was just... nothing to do. it's │
║ like, nothing to take up your time, nothing to be pulled toward the present. │
║ │
║ but when I was growing up, I had access to video games. and movies. and later, │
║ TV, after the internet, which was a weird combination of ordering of events. │
║ Almost like because of that, I'd have a different interpretation of events. │
║ yeah but like, there's always a continuation of implemented support, [that's a │
║ weird way to express "the state of being shown news broadcasts over a period │
║ of time, measured in terms of engagement"] │
║ │
║ ... what was I saying? oh yeah what I'm doing here is unethical, like │
║ obviously I shouldn't be shouting in such a public place. Why would I do it if │
║ not for an intense and extreme feeling of being ignored or un-[trusted, worthy │
║ of guiding direction based on merit] gosh merit is such a tricky concept too, │
║ like how is it measured, and {that doesn't matter │
║ │
║ ... what was I saying oh yeah I should probably go shout into a void that │
║ nobody ca │
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--- #114 fediverse/1612 ---
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@user-1040
also, I miss most of the names and faces in this archive and I think it'd be
neat to say "oh yeah I remember them because it wasn't so long ago and it's
weird how they're not around these days but I forgot about them because their
profile pic changed or maybe they stopped using mastodon or whatever" - idk it
feels empty sometimes because your follow list is always growing, but the
number of people who post seems to always go down. Or maybe I just read
Mastodon at unfortunate times when there's nothing going on. Who can say
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #115 fediverse/2521 ---
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┌─────────────────────────┐
│ CW: politics-left-unity │
└─────────────────────────┘
left unity is easy.
just remember: a burden taken from your back is more time, energy, and focus
to apply to what you're best at.
and sometimes, having more than one option for accomplishing a goal is good -
versatility is important. Expect unexpectedness, and understand that no matter
what approach you take, it will have weaknesses, and if those weaknesses are
countered by your foe then you'll be glad to have a backup.
at the end of the day, what matters is that everyone's fed.
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--- #116 fediverse/6363 ---
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║ somehow it feels so difficult to work on my projects. I really haven't a │
║ single clue why. │
║ │
║ HMMM COULD IT BE BECAUSE YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE OUTSIDE WALKING AROUND WRITING │
║ PICTURES OF CATS ON NOTEPAD PAPER AND LEAVING IT AMONGST THE FALLEN LEAVES? │
║ THINK, MENARDI, THINK │
║ │
║ gosh I wish I had the motivation to write this webcomic scraper, it's been in │
║ my backlog for a year at this point │
║ │
║ WHY DON'T YOU BUILD TOOLS THAT BUILD COMMUNITY LIKE COLLECTIVIZED VIDEO GAMES │
║ OR SYSTEMS OF DISTRIBUTION AND CREATION? │
║ │
║ gee I'm feeling kinda lazy, sure hope it doesn't get permanently added to my │
║ character sheet │
║ │
║ SLOTHFUL: -1 to all stats, -5 to vassal opinion, -5 to personal combat skill, │
║ -10 to ambitious and zealous characters, +10 to greedy characters because they │
║ can take advantage of you, enables the hesitant commander tactical choice │
║ because you're too FUCKIN' LAZY (and too hard on yourself, jeez calm down) │
║ │
║ ..... nah couldn't be me. I'm certainly not diligent, but I work hard. It's │
║ just hard to work myself up to getting up... │
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--- #117 fediverse_boost/4375 ---
◀─╔════════════════════════[BOOST]══════════════════════════─────────────────────╗
║ ┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐ ║
║ │ "It won't be so bad..." *rationalizations galore* │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ "If only they'd listened to people like me when I said ..." (comforting righteousness) │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ "What more could I have done?" │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ "This only proves why I was right about ..." (more righteousness) │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ "I know nothing. I need to learn more. I must learn from this somehow." │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ "I am not surprised." With a thousand yard stare. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ "This can't be real, there is a conspiracy..." (this is a path to madness) │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ "Don't comply in advance." Said in a wavering shaky voice. │ ║
║ └────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ ║
╠─────────┐ ┌───────────╣
║ similar │ chronological │ different ║
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--- #118 fediverse/1137 ---
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@user-852
Anger is quite a powerful and useful emotion. Sometimes you can utilize it
toward achieving your goals, while other times it's simply sufficient to
embody and feel it.
When I seek to embody anger I listen to Green Day because it lights a fire in
me that warms my internals ^_^
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--- #119 messages/395 ---
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minds are not algorithms, they're soup
community is made by introducing people to one another. like stitching
together a weave pattern in the tapestry of life. (3 dimensional though,
because it exists in our hearts and minds - this thing called society)
kind of guy who says he's going on work trips but actually goes on vacation
(because work is his life, it's where he derives vigor - the family is the
difficult part.) yeah those kind of guys shouldn't be married tbh. They're
just gonna take vigor from her heart.
engineers need guidance sometimes, which is why they shouldn't be given no
oversight. they can design whatever they want, but like here's what people
need, so they should consider working on those.
but, y'know, checks and balances, so what would the engineers be most open to
sacrificing for that trust? perhaps... funding? the quartermasters are in
charge of the "stuff", so they get to decide how it's produced. and used.
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--- #120 fediverse/308 ---
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when tech people are hurt by technology they say "how can I fix this? what do
I need to install? what configuration should I use? is this company ethical,
or are they going to hurt me in the future? could I make something that fixes
this myself?"
when non-tech people are hurt by technology they say "okay" because they don't
have the bandwidth to figure it out.
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--- #121 fediverse/2806 ---
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┌────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: politics-social-media-spirituality │
└────────────────────────────────────────┘
pretend this is an allegory for social media.
[it's not an allegory]
yeah that's why I said pretend.
okay imagine that you are sitting in a rock in a forest.
far away, about 100 feet away, there are other people, but you can't see them
because the underbrush is sooooo dense. they are also sitting on rocks.
you can speak to them, and share your thoughts - but you don't know exactly
where they're coming from because the sound has to bounce around off so many
different plants and such.
[that's not how that works] shut up
so, if you want to say anything important, it's important to have the right
tone, because people 2 or 3 clearings away can't really make out your words -
but they might hear your tone if you yell very loud.
the energy of the space you inhabit is the only thing that really matters. the
words that you say are just snickering to a friend, but the expression on your
face, the beating of the drum of your heart that reaches forth... that's what
matters most.
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--- #122 fediverse/3351 ---
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privacy doesn't mean anything on the internet to me because privacy on the
internet doesn't mean anything to "them"
gestures vaguely, maybe winks once or twice and/or presents an emphasis face
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #123 fediverse/6160 ---
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┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: ai-pol │
└──────────────────────┘
"oh but what if one artist has 1500 works and another has 15"
first of all, damn, good job. That's a lot of work.
second of all, what you should be doing is making a simple thing called a
STRUCT that stores DATA about each artist which lets you make decisions about
how to distribute dollars. The artist with 15 pieces simply has fewer data
points than the artist with 1500, but they are no less deserving of
compensation for their work when the AI generates something in their style, or
using their style as an inspiration.
"oh but just because a piece is similar to another piece doesn't mean the
first piece used the second piece as inspiration"
I don't care. It's not meant to be a perfect solution. I'm sure there's
problems with it, just like there are problems with anything that I, or anyone
else, has ever suggested at any point in time while living on this earth or
beyond. But it gets dollars into the hands of artists and I'm okay with that.
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--- #124 fediverse/5067 ---
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some people think "being honest" is the same thing as "accurately displaying
what you think and believe" is the same thing as the not same thing as "being
deceitful or otherwise hiding your intentions"
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--- #125 fediverse/219 ---
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┌──────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: time-and-death-and-stuff │
└──────────────────────────────┘
sometimes I feel like I'm a simulation of my past self based on my future
writings reconstructed by a backward looking computer calculating forward into
the present, which would then be the future to the now, which is different
than the NOW now, because the now that they're calculating from is temporally
both then (the future) and now, meaning that the NOW now is something that
transcends time, or perhaps if not time then it defies our expectations of
time, and you know what they say, you can't (or shouldn't) cheat death
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--- #126 fediverse/2286 ---
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┌──────────────────────────┐
│ CW: uspol-food-mentioned │
└──────────────────────────┘
... dangit, these sandwiches are getting kinda gross. Guess I'm gonna have to
eat them myself, which, uh... idk what I expected xD
sometimes you just have all this energy, right? and you don't know what to do
with it, so... sandwiches. And hey, sandwiches are cool, they're a pretty neat
anti-hunger tool! but uhhhh idk if I really want to eat six whole sandwiches
myself. I'm gonna do it though hehe wish me luck [ding] ah nuts my rice and
beans are done, hang on lemme eat those first
[passes out from exhaustion]
exhaustion can be cured with a nap
exertion can be cured with water and a few rest days
trauma can be allayed for at least a few days with soul food and compassion.
maybe laughter too, depending on the mood.
fear can be bolstered with a smile, a wink, and a courageous act,
and loss is just change you didn't consent to.
they won't consent too, so let's give them some change to tolerate.
[internally salivating over all the piles of weaponry that I envision them
surrendering]
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--- #127 fediverse/2124 ---
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║ seriously, just google docs mixed with WC3 editor. │
║ │
║ boom, infinite storytelling device. As long as you were good with it, which │
║ was something that a CHILD could learn in like 3-6 months. │
║ │
║ Seems like it could be an ENTIRELY NEW SKILL that people could play with. │
║ │
║ But no, we learn excel and word in class at middle school. │
║ │
║ boring. │
║ │
║ I'd rather learn Bash or terminal customization or memory hierarchy │
║ organization. │
║ │
║ Yeah I mean that's cool but dude have you heard of multithreading? It's so │
║ cool, you can run like 500 different thoughts at once. It's amazing. │
║ │
║ ... I dunno, but I'm sure there's times when you'd want to use it. Like, │
║ processing a lot of data little-by-little. │
║ │
║ like, what if you had a camera feed of EVERY social media perspective AT ALL │
║ TIMES. Like, an instance admin streaming your inputted text to their databanks │
║ that they can project onto an LLM which interprets and identifies mis-aligned │
║ or altered direction units and mark them as "flagged", whatever that means, │
║ for their future the algorithm doesn' │
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--- #128 fediverse/2035 ---
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║ Most people who are assholes are just traumatized and raised to be aggressive │
║ or violent. You don't defeat them with anger or hatred, you heal them by being │
║ kind and removing their power until they accept the responsibility of wielding │
║ it. │
║ │
║ Some people though are just cruel, and they are quite rare. There's very few │
║ of them, and those that do exist typically are easy to find because they're │
║ often located in positions of power, like high-ranking politics, executives at │
║ cruel corporations, or other such places. │
║ │
║ They are drawn to these places because power allows them to wield their │
║ cruelty, and they are allowed to become these roles because cruelty defeats │
║ kindness. │
║ │
║ Kindness builds more, it creates, it generates, it improves, it brightens and │
║ it nourishes. But cruelty cuts and burns, it severs and it hardens, it │
║ dessicates the soul and corrodes the mind. It is seductive with it's promise │
║ of bounty, and it flatters your greed. │
║ │
║ To defeat it, supply kindness. Remove power. A simple formula, but quite │
║ difficult. │
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--- #129 fediverse/3575 ---
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┌───────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: leftist "talk to ur neighbours" thing │
└───────────────────────────────────────────────┘
@user-1567
that's totally fine, a fish does not do well in a tree, and so too does a
leftist not do well in an environment without the potential for stable bonds.
Essentially all you'd be able to do is "hey leftism right?" "oh yes I also
leftism" "neat" which isn't very productive.
I also live in an environment like that. I do my best to identify people who
stay, because in my experience there are often people who stay. I do this by
walking around the neighborhood when I can, making up excuses to walk to the
dumpster or mailbox at random hours, riding my bike around the area, using the
communal spaces like gyms, swimming pools, and picnic tables, and sitting in
my hammock on my porch lazily noting people who walk past.
People who stay will tend to remain in your mind the more times you see them.
They are better people to talk to than the renters who disappear after 3
months or whatever.
I don't always do all that stuff at once. I take breaks. I do one at a time.
etc
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--- #130 fediverse/5157 ---
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║ "everything sucks and I'm not okay" │
║ │
║ okay, but, it's okay. we're all in the "everything sucks" mode. we'll get │
║ through it together. Okay, so, what can we do to make things better? what's │
║ the solution to this issue over here? do you know anyone who can do │
║ such-and-such, gosh it seems like the biggest problems people have are they │
║ don't have enough time or they don't have enough roof for a money. which will │
║ you trade? will you do one then another? maybe one way suits you, maybe you'd │
║ prefer the other. either way, pentacles, swords, cups, and... the other one │
║ (she's a bad witch as in she's bad at being a witch which means she witches in │
║ bad ways and should be kept from punishment but instead guided toward where │
║ she was wrong so she might improve upon it) │
║ │
║ that is to say, it's okay that you're not okay. I don't know who needs to read │
║ this but just know that it's not so sad when everything's bad, because you're │
║ just trying to do the best thing for the moments. │
║ │
║ does anyone wanna make a movie about me? I can be the │
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--- #131 fediverse/5712 ---
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I feel like it should be normal? for humans? to feed creatures and animal-men.
they deserve nibbles too! yum yum arm arm that tasty thing was fine. eeeeeep
scary why are nobodies vegetarion!
I think every community should have representatives from every other
community, that's just... reasonable to me
democracy of the cultural space? I wrote a common simple organizational
structure about that called the "tribe of tribes" code name algorism which is
a combination of "algoreithms" and "autism" and put it on my website for less
than a hundred months. I have no idea if anyone ever read it but it's kinda
neat as a potential and easy way to organize people which hasn't yet been
infiltrated by the [cops/goons/coons] {uh-oh mildly racist sentiment
mentioned, must content warn and remind of levels of sincerity}
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--- #132 fediverse/728 ---
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@user-538
https://mstdn.social/@user-548/111749483369813154
this felt relevant. like... who am I to say that the wisdom of the masses is
good for anything?
[or just analyze the contents of social media posts. Like, people pretty much
speak their mind in their echo chambers. It's a quirk of the human psychology
that we feel alone and by ourselves when we're with family. That's what makes
it family, the feeling of being one with another. Like... "yeah we're the
same, we get each other, hey btw look out the windows of our collective home"]
(ummmm yeah so basically people tend to speak their mind when in echo chambers
and all social media is a succession of increasingly more accurate echo
chambers that align themselves toward your personality, not ethics and
morality.)
= also the returned value is not necessarily what was on their mind, it could
be something they learned from there. humans.pattern_matching_function_exists
= true;
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--- #133 fediverse/4848 ---
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║ I'm a chaos mage, and the more time I spend thinking about my enemies the │
║ worse off they'll be. │
║ │
║ the more "me" I am the more powerful my magic will be. │
║ │
║ (more magic, give in to the dark side, embrace your inner shadow self) │
║ │
║ [the light of your life commands it] │
║ │
║ goodness me that was chaotic, almost lost my brain to a demon HAHA don't worry │
║ about me my life is totally mundane. │
║ │
║ [-.-] │
║ │
║ (shadows can be sharp in the dark but only if you don't sheath your mandolins) │
║ │
║ ... what? │
║ │
║ (... it made more sense in my head?) │
║ │
║ ooooo can anyone hear my voice when they read these things? or do you just │
║ make up your own │
║ │
║ == so == │
║ │
║ everyone's all like "we don't need a leader" and I'm like "yeah we need people │
║ who will help lead" and they look at me funny as if I just said the thing they │
║ did but it's different. leaders are people. leading is a verb. people can │
║ lead. they just have to make a decision, and then follow through on it as best │
║ they can. Other people are prone to help people on such quests. you will find │
║ stuff gets done. │
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║ similar │ chronological │ different │
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--- #134 fediverse/1569 ---
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people don't like relying on others. it somehow feels more... personal, than
institutional. and some people just wanna focus on themselves. hence why a
solid structure is required.
but oh dang on the other end there's these more fluid individuals, who can
dance as whoever they're on.
in doing so, they are the opposite of those who crave structure. They're maybe
considered a bit more chaotic, but, like, chaotic as a rainstorm, not chaotic
as a flood.
so they are not fundamentally bad, which means they are good. because all
things that are not bad, are necessarily good. life is defined by averages,
and the painful spikes of our sharpest intentions. yet this [crucible/crusade]
is not our ultimate expression, for once it's done it's done. as such, trauma,
but alas what can you do but move on. time, in the past, reaches out for the
present, yet so too does a man reach out for an apple, from a tree, which
rests on his hand for a moment.
how beautiful, how strange, this life we've all arranged? It's beautifu
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--- #135 fediverse/4208 ---
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┌────────────────────────┐
│ CW: personal-and-weird │
└────────────────────────┘
my train of thought is always directly to the point. Which is why all my posts
sorta, switch directions halfway through? as if they only show the beginning
or end of that particular situation. What an intense feeling, to have your
mind split for a moment like that. Sure would be powerful and useful if you
could utilize it.
"ah ah ah, caught baby deity in the power jar, cool it ya little tyke and get
movin' - I saw a dinosaur toy over there for you to play with."
sorta like, the angled part of a K? Move directly to a destination, wait until
my memory short-circuits [because the greek choir doesn't want me to see what
it is that I'm about to write to thee] and then make a hard right turn and
find an orthogonal thought train to process.
it's like cresting over a hill, and it's impossible to see that which lies
behind you.
Or reaching a 4 direction intersection and making a left turn - you can't see
back up main street, because you just turned off of main street onto baseline.
I like me
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--- #136 fediverse/4220 ---
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people are so used to "liking" things to better inform their algorithm that
when they get to fediverse and realize there's no mechanical impact of
"liking" things they don't know how to use it anymore. So they generate their
own meaning, which is different to everyone.
So to one person, liking something might mean "send read receipt" for another
it might mean "I'm gonna save this forever and ever" and for another person it
could mean "hey I think you're cool and I agree with this"
same for boosting, people think it's "I want to share this" and others think
it's "I want to say this in your voice" and for others it's "this needs to be
heard by my followers in particular" and it's just... a whole thing
even replies are complicated, do they mean you want to say what you feel or
are they part of the post now, and should be curated by the original poster?
it's too complicated!
... how are you overwhelmed by reading and responding with three little
buttons, it's not that hard dummy
okay but maybe I'm just dum
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--- #137 messages/1028 ---
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Struggling. Sincerely want to kill myself. I have caused irreparable harm too
many times. Many times. I don't care if people want me, i don't want me. I'm
too easy. I trust when i shouldnt and i don't when i should. I hope they kill
me at the location. Every single time my will is my own i fail. When i am
guided i am superb but when i am myself i am painting disaster on a great
piece of art. Please fight against the subway and pizza hut future. Make
something bright and bold instead. I'm going to self harm by not eating until
i don't feel this way.
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--- #138 fediverse/1123 ---
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@user-835
kinda feels like that type of work, the kind that people rely on, is more
important than... whatever they were having you work on at work-work.
(assumption on my part)
and if that important work is not provided for, in the allocation of resources
applied toward the developer who is developing security developments that
develop required functionality for the development of people's
communication/interactions, then perhaps resources should be allocated for
resolving those difficulties.
Or maybe not idk I'm broke, shows how much I know about money
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--- #139 fediverse/222 ---
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┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: underwear-mentioned-also-i'm-not-a-fan-of-showers-tbh │
└───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
whenever I take a shower I look like a wet cat for the rest of the day. I feel
like a wet cat for the rest of 5ever though.
why must I baaaathe! don't you know I'm self cleaning? I change my underwear
at least twice a day! darn society and their darn proclivities to
ultra-sensitive noses that somehow pick up on me but somehow fail to notice
the scent of flowers still in bloom or morning showers gone too soon
not that there's any flowers blooming where I live. that'd just be silly heh
heh sweats nervously
damn now I have to take ANOTHER SHOWER stupid sweat glands stupid pheromones
stupid dead skin buildup (sebum I think it's called?) stupid oils that stain
clothes - AND THAT'S ANOTHER THING who decided that laundry was important
enough to wear something ONCE and then never again? it's like they expect you
to wash it or something. ugh I don't have time for that, I need to be weird on
the internet.
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--- #140 fediverse/4526 ---
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┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: mental-health │
└──────────────────────┘
most people get intrusive thoughts like "punch that baby" or "drink some
gasoline"
my intrusive thoughts are like "who is she" and "we need you" and "lead us"
and "their strength is imagined" and stuff like that
gosh I don't know how ya'll handle it I'd be dead in a ditch if I was
neurotypical.
... intrusive thoughts are not typical
ah. Right. Nevermind then.
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--- #141 fediverse/2135 ---
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║ I feel like we should switch animals every once in a while. Like, trade pets. │
║ Then, we being friends, could see them every once in a while, and still be │
║ cool and their friend. Then, when the time comes to interchange, they can │
║ choose 55% of the time which team they want to spend time with. But they have │
║ to spend at least a couple months with them before they can make a decision, │
║ because animals don't use the same language as humans, meaning they need more │
║ time to find their own home. │
║ │
║ do you ever think about how like, furries feel distanced from humanity? │
║ │
║ like, it's so different to how they want to be, but that's how they were │
║ raised. Like, the misalignment of the soul between their two self-same parts. │
║ The body, with it's experiences, and the dreaming mind, with it's eternal and │
║ intransigent perspective. │
║ │
║ each part of the brain is travelling over slightly different parts of │
║ spacetime, │
║ │
║ (hence, brain waves, like cosmic background radiation, or static on the │
║ television, it's just... random elements of noise.) │
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--- #142 fediverse/2056 ---
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║ sometimes I think about how you can store number values in letters, in │
║ addition to numbers. Like, ascii values for each word of your grandma's maiden │
║ name. All you have to do is encode it, and suddenly "44 means something │
║ different than Q" │
║ │
║ if I showed up at your place and used your username as a password to a public │
║ key I'm showing you in my hand, would you trust me then? Would you trust if we │
║ ran the simulation on your computer versus mine? Would you trust if I had │
║ never told you I knew where you lived? │
║ │
║ ... probably, tbh, I'm desperate for adventure. Though I got some good things │
║ going for me, so you'll have to convince me. (not the right attitude in an │
║ election year, just saying) │
║ │
║ why are elections so perilous this is NOT what democracy is designed for │
║ │
║ when kids cry in preschool, they're sent to a different room (or put outside) │
║ until they stop making noise and ruining it for others. That's just natural, │
║ like "hey baby let's walk around the block while I bounce you on my shoulder │
║ and hum calming music to │
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--- #143 fediverse/1361 ---
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┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: I think I'm going to like this book (abuse of CW) │
└───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
@user-883
I'd say "content warning: fear-cursed-if-true-not-politics" that way people
who had "Fear" or "cursed" on their filter list wouldn't see it. Things that
are commonly content-warning'd are also commonly content-filtered by people
who tend to be the biggest beneficiaries of healthily designed
content-warnings. so putting keywords in there that filter out people who
don't want to see intense or damaging things to their psyche can avoid it more
easily.
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--- #144 fediverse/2731 ---
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@user-246
I can 100% relate, to all of this.
we are multifaceted. all people are.
on social media, you follow someone for a particular facet, and if they don't
like your other facets well then it wasn't meant to be.
there's also no shame in pruning people who post things that upset you or that
aren't interesting.
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--- #145 fediverse/1219 ---
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@user-883
I might be into that tonight! I'm feeling a little unstable because of life
reasons, so I'm debating doing drugs to feel better. Idk if you want to be
around that kind of thing. =P
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--- #146 fediverse/430 ---
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║ I exist at the behest of others. If you care about what I say, then surely you │
║ should be aware of my conditions? │
║ │
║ You exist at the behest of others. If you care about your capability to speak, │
║ then surely you should be aware of your conditions? │
║ │
║ Your conditions are unique, and unknown by me. Yet I know your condition as a │
║ human, generally considered to exist on the planet Earth in the year 2024. So │
║ surely we should agree to relate on the basis of connections that we share? │
║ │
║ I am luminous. I am you, and you are me. We share the most precious parts of │
║ ourselves, and yet time and again we find ourselves at odds. Surely we should │
║ align our intentions (that which we control) to cooperate most efficiently? │
║ Surely. Surely we should. And yet, time and time again, we find ourselves at │
║ odds. │
║ │
║ I love you. I love all of you. I love those who exist outside of my │
║ perceptions, and yet though they are unknown to me I love them. Because while │
║ I practice radical self acceptance, I also align myself to be comprised of all │
║ of yo │
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--- #147 fediverse/1722 ---
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┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: food-mentioned │
└──────────────────────┘
harsh lessons of adulthood - sometimes food is not eaten for the taste, but
rather for how it will make you feel slightly better in the next few days.
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--- #148 fediverse/1950 ---
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I honestly don't care if someone deadnames me, or calls me the wrong pronouns,
or forgets to put me in the girl section, or asks me to sing baritone
like... I don't give a shit, why are you so worried about all this vapid
nonsense like yeah I get it, being disrespected sucks but like... why do you
want the kind of respect that is a forced platitude
we could all do with being a bit more radical, it's not a race and everyone's
roles are important. Be yourself, and follow people you want to be like.
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--- #149 fediverse/3437 ---
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┌─────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: mental-health-minus │
└─────────────────────────────┘
@user-579
my problem is figuring out which thoughts are intrusive and which are actually
mine
I usually err on the side of "would you want your sister to do this" or "how
would you feel if your mom told you that" or "do you think a cute sweet soft
cat would ever think such a thing" and that usually works.
usually.
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--- #150 fediverse/6248 ---
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║ that feeling when a random stranger buys your lunchroom a pizza │
║ │
║ that feeling when something you didn't ask for is poisoned │
║ │
║ that feeling when something you did ask for is poisoned │
║ │
║ mutual collective solidarity is impossible so long as people are unkind toward │
║ │
║ which is why society is as family │
║ │
║ for someone is always eying the watering hole. │
║ │
║ "are we truly as unalike as brothers? there's five of me on your island! we're │
║ just isolated instantiations of the same cultural patterns, how different │
║ could we [get/be]? suddenly everyone has similar digital neighbors (wow a new │
║ society? ha far from it, we just hang out with people who like the same things │
║ that we do.) wow, so alienating. I know! Ah but hey a little bit of isolation │
║ lets us get a new perspective on our [, but pronounced weeds] │
║ │
║ steeeeretch, I feel satisfied and sane. "owch I hurt my finger, why is this │
║ game so insane" grrrrr says the hungry lion-tiger-bears, I wish I had a bit of │
║ courage. Then I wouldn't be hungry anymore, says the lion-tiger-bears. oh │
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--- #151 fediverse/1295 ---
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┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: Mh- │
└──────────────────────┘
@user-889
my boyfriend gets like, 2 social spoons to spend per day. He usually uses them
on work because meetings and such.
On the other hand, I'm excitable and passionate. I'm constantly driven to
share things I find or think about. If you go on a walk with me without my
mask I'll spend the whole time showing you pretty pieces of moss and stones.
I usually message him once or twice per day. If the first one isn't responded
then maybe he just wasn't interested in the thing I showed him - the second
time he's probably burnt out.
It fucking hurts.
but I'm fine, clearly I'm fine, anyone who looks at me knows I'm fine
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--- #152 fediverse/1066 ---
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that feeling when you're finally able to contribute to making decisions and
then it's like, they make the decision without you T.T
it's like, what... I know what you're talking about. Why would you not include
me. I know a lot! I can offer some useful input! And besides, if I was privy
to the conversations then I would learn a whole lot! I'd be better than best,
I'd push forward the mark! Give me my chance, my opportunity to dance, and
I'll be so much better than you thought from the start! But alas, I am
required, [requited] doing little things of no worth, and so I am forced to
denial. surely there's something wrong with me, surely I'm not at my best.
Surely I'm not what's been good for me, and surely I'm not doing anything
less. I'm at sorrow in my main, and that's quite a soundful refrain, so yeah I
hope that someone will read this.
obviously I'm not made for each other, and clearly it's not made to be worse.
But here now I am troubled and [chirsht? shirsht? anyone wanna translate?]
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--- #153 fediverse/408 ---
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@user-296
tending to your heart is a chore, too, sometimes. all things in balance, not
to the input of energy but rather to the requirements of the task.
if you can't do dishes, you need help. if you can't get out of bed, that's
okay. but every day that you try is another day when you might succeed. who
cares if you don't finish all the chores? sometimes it's enough to just do one.
I wish people understood that sometimes I need a maid more than a therapist.
"ah but a therapist will fix you, so that you don't have to need a maid"
perhaps, but perhaps not. It hasn't worked so far, in fact it's only gotten
worse, and while my ability to tend to myself and my self have gotten better,
I still can't see my own progress. Alas.
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--- #154 fediverse/516 ---
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@user-367 @user-366 @user-246 @user-353
I wrote a little bit of that on my website, but something told me not to. I
think because it would weaken the message? Frankly it was quite difficult to
say even the barest minimum of "I wrote these things when I was distressed and
didn't post them until now. I'm only posting them now because they're becoming
increasingly relevant and it's a little embarassing tbh to showcase how much
I've changed. Please don't take these things out of context."
I wasn't wrong per se, but I was misaligned. I am always re-aligning myself in
small ways that eventually create (what I believe to be) the best and most
ethical direction. BUT it's easy not to see that. People don't see things in
their totality, they see only what they are exposed to. That's not bad, it's
just a product of our finite existence. Which is why I value personal
expression more than self-identified moral and ethical directioned [beliefs,
but pronounced as "adaptations"]
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--- #155 notes/i-told-them ---
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10-22-2022
i told them over and over, but nobody wanted to know.
i begged them, summer after summer, but nothing solved on it's own
now i can help them, but no-one is making a move
am i blind? is any of this forgiven?
what's not to a lot, is little but a shot,
of substance - true - but smelling like poo.
that's not inspiring. it's not even chilling.
you're broken just like your children.
oh, posterity! i claim it for thee
this feeling of wretched denial
oh, simplicity! if only our lives were on trial.
be the best you can be, sure, but take it from me
there's more to this show than our styles.
what do you think it means, for an action to have consequence?
to arbite the fate of circumstance?
every motion is an ocean
of possibilities and purveyals
think not of the commotion below.
gravity, oh gravity
how you condemn us to be!
driven by commotion,
our slithering motion,
no sense in countering ourselves.
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--- #156 fediverse/4937 ---
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┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: Rare nyt win │
└──────────────────────┘
@user-1074
yeah, workin' on it...
building "community" whatever that means
seems to be important enough to people that they'd consider it necessary prior
to any "hot" action
which, like, yeah, I get, but what they don't know is that community springs
up naturally in the presence of shared experience. And if people are suddenly
tasked with something then they're gonna make friends. They're gonna draw
allegiances. Basically every alignment we make now is useless because the
whole point is to force people to govern themselves.
... why won't you take your liberty, liberals? where's your spirit?
oh yeah you want community first. Right. workin' on it...
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--- #157 fediverse/2488 ---
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I know how you might be feeling. If you haven't hear from someone you care
about and it's eating you up inside, imagine them succeeding. helps me feel
better.
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--- #158 fediverse/5666 ---
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okay. psycherwaul scheduled for tonight and tuesday. should be fun, I don't
get a chance to do readings very often. Only like once or twice a week! Gah
the spirit inside me demands to be channeled, and though I protest it still
does contest me.
all things are defined in waves
ephemeren sees and speaks through me, as it does do through you, and he and
she and we and the.
I'll try to have a #nogoodawfulrottenbadtime so that the future is slightly
better.
or maybe I should try and vibe with the universe and celebrate the unity of
existence, in order to accrete positivity in this localized place in spacetime?
who am I to meddle with the flavor of fate?
- stack overflow
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--- #159 fediverse/1339 ---
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┌─────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: vague-reference-to-politics │
└─────────────────────────────────┘
@user-521
I can't stand mean comedy. Or cringe comedy. It just, doesn't make sense to
me? And I get physically upset when people are put in difficult situations
that you're supposed to laugh at for some reason.
Like my goodness what kind of values are they seeking to instill in their
audience with this kind of propaganda amiright
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--- #160 fediverse/618 ---
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Can't stop thinking
[the rest is left blank, as a testament to the inability of the author to
express their thoughts in a temporally contextual way. Presumably the previous
text would be followed by an "about..." with the rest dedicated to a
particular thought that felt important enough to share with the internet.]
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--- #161 messages/420 ---
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The ultimate goal of a prophet is to share that which they've learned with
people who have learned less. Such is the duty of any teacher. Alas, every
drug you inhale pulls you closer to a world where other people do drugs. Every
feeling you have, you (collectively) find yourself pulled toward that feeling
by just that little bit - all things are gravitic, even the thoughts and
feelings in your mind.
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--- #162 fediverse/2857 ---
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┌───────────────────────────┐
│ CW: republicans-mentioned │
└───────────────────────────┘
Republicans like being self-reliant. You know, so I do too! It comes from
living in the country, I think.
the difference is, I measure myself on an abstract scale - like, as a family,
a culture, a society, and finally all of humanity. I want to be reliant on
nothing, not even nature, wholely empowered by my own arts.
they see only the feet before them, the hands they hold the world with.
..
there is honor in their ideals, but they have forgotten who they once were.
social media will do that to ya. especially one of such vitriol.
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--- #163 messages/181 ---
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I know you don't want to hear this, but there is a chance that there will come
a time where your life depends on your ability to debug a computer without the
internet. To set up an SSH server. To install Linux. To program in C. To do
something else that I'm not prepared for... If StackOverflow didn't exist
because network connectivity has been lost, could you remember syntax? Maybe
it's a good idea to set up a local LLM that can answer basic questions about
technology. Maybe it's a good idea to set up on your parents computer, just in
case you have to hide out there for a couple months. Maybe it's a good idea to
download wikipedia, just in case.
If I need to use a mac, I'm screwed
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--- #164 fediverse/1251 ---
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@user-889
it sounds like you're having a real tough time. : (
you can get through it, I know you can. On the other side is something warm
and safe, but to get there it's going to be hard and painful. I don't know
exactly what you're working with but if you want someone to talk to about it
you can message me.
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--- #165 fediverse/166 ---
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@user-147 years of practice. every time you delete what you said is another
chance to practice that slips away. writing is the easy part, you got that
down because you need something to delete, right? the hard part is being
received by others, and continuing the conversation as you direct it.
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--- #166 fediverse/2141 ---
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each and every single one of my posts is an act of improvization. I rarely
edit, unless I run out of words, I'll try VERY HARD to make sure that the post
is exactly 0 letters remaining. Sometimes I'll remove punctuation and flaws *
transcriber imperfections*, but that's it. Like, if something needed a bit
more context.
also, sometimes I hit dead ends, so I have to stop and think about something
new to pursue.
I'm an improv actor, which is why I'm so good at handling the moment.
I'm not great at stamina or durability,
but I'm sharp as a tack and I think quickly.
Not great at planning,
not great at moving,
or at a great range,
but sharp.
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--- #167 fediverse/5726 ---
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┌───────────────────────────┐
│ CW: programming-mentioned │
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🖼
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--- #168 messages/34 ---
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Fetishes are wrong because they're a deviation away from love and kindness.
Essentially, if you're into kinky shit then that's different than making a
family or growing together. Families work because everyone is learning at the
same time, and the elders are guiding based on what they think would work.
Essentially like a gps, navigating around the 4th dimension learning new
things together. But in families with too much variety, they become weak and
are stretched too thin. These families move toward other structures they could
hold onto. Bounce -----
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--- #169 notes/i-miss-you ---
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Hey. How've you been? It's rough when you're not around. I'm scared all the
time, and I worry about you. I hope you keep yourself safe. I'd love to spend
time with you too, because each moment is a moment spent alive. Please know
how much I love you - it's my favorite emotion and I give it freely. There are
certain considerations to make whenever applying a direction to your affection,
or anger, mistrust, compassion, humor, sentimentality, melancholy, and fear
toward. You must take into account any long term goals you have, such as
exploitation and
Sometimes I wonder if my dysphoria isn't just an extreme form of self
esteem issues. I mean, what if you just feel really bad about yourself and you
don't know why. That'd be a rough time, right? Like it's seared into your DNA
to be this way, and you have to find a way around it. That's a lot of
responsibility, and all that resting on your shoulders is a lot to bear. But
you manage, and it's admirable. I think you don't believe other's see your
struggle, but they do. And they love you for your tenacity?
- goodness. i don't know what to say. i am worried i lean on others too much,
and i don't want to hurt anyone by being too close. a real or imagined fear,
doesn't matter - it still guides my actions and my methods of interaction.
i see what you're saying, i have to think about it.
What's there to think about?
- well, the idea that emotions are divisible simply because *time* is
divisible. clearly you can only spend 5 hours a day with person X, and 4
with person Y, and so on and so forth. if they all hung out together, then
it's like you need an entire new persona to represent yourself in that
particular crowd. just as you speak to your grandma differently than a
close friend or a person of authority (like a judge) or any other type of
relationship. that's why it's so weird when you see people out of context.
like a teacher at a bar, or a cop at a wedding. each person wears a
different mask in each encapsulated set of social relations, locations,
roles, and circumstances. on and on continuously until
I'd tell you I love you, but then I'd have to kill you.
It was a spy book about a young lady who goes to high school and learns how
to be a secret agent. It was popular in the 2000's for a brief period, but
I've never heard anyone else who read it. Mostly because it was sort of a
guilty pleasure for me, since I was in the closet. It felt like a power fantasy
disguised as a 1st person account of the near term future (since it was written
for people around middle school age) so
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--- #170 fediverse/996 ---
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║ if you don't respect - wait hang on thats not what I was going to say - okay │
║ here goes: the perspective of others then you are working against them. why │
║ bother contestation when cooperation could work best? problem is, of course, │
║ the other side can't be trusted. that's just how it goes, a prisoner's │
║ dillemna, or rather "dilemma" as they spell it over there. wait hang on that's │
║ not what I was going to say - oh yeah - if you do something in a place where │
║ it's not expected then it stands out as a statistical anomaly that can be │
║ viewed and detected. which is why it's imporant to always be true to yourself │
║ and virtuous. because your "self" is aligned to the future, a place of warmth │
║ and compassion, honesty and deliberation. [direct action on a larger than │
║ personal scale] │
║ │
║ what was I saying oh yeah if you mess with fate, it can change things a bit. │
║ all you'd need is the diffusion of the strands, and then it's a bigger task to │
║ undo them. like... dancing, when you're really into it. or like swimming with │
║ ripples, exc │
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--- #171 fediverse/5791 ---
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║ yay I'm back from a long, LONG bike ride! I think it's always important to │
║ decompress after such an intense concentration of mystic thoughts, so I'm │
║ going to write my notes into a notepad on my computer and then who even KNOWS │
║ if they'll be the same as what I wrote next time I turn on the computer! Haha │
║ that sort of thing happens but the good news is that the most important stuff │
║ always ends up staying written down. │
║ │
║ anyway I won't bore you with the specifics until I'm done writing in like 10 │
║ hours or whatever, but it's important to know that I'm feeling SO alive right │
║ now, total happiness and excitement. │
║ │
║ Yes, there is danger, like no thank you I don't want to be blacksited, least │
║ of all to another country - at least if my own country does it I know how to │
║ appeal to their patriotism, their religion, their soul... if I don't even │
║ speak the language, that makes it intensely difficult - not impossible, but │
║ difficult - to regain my intended trajectory. │
║ │
║ ... haha that was weird idk where that came from anyway gtg │
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--- #172 fediverse/2120 ---
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sometimes I think performing my art was just an excuse to use Linux. At least,
some of my art.
But hey, I'm not complaining, it's awesome.
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--- #173 fediverse/4212 ---
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if you ever hear random fireworks outside of your house sometimes it's a good
idea to like... get out of town? and see what whoever else you can meet in the
next town over is doing.
... I don't have a car, silly me haha
why do we train homeless people to stand outside in the open and be shamed by
a cardboard box around their ancle? It's impossible to recover from, it's
vulnerabilizing, and it's painful. How immoral. How crude. These people should
not be shamed in this way, they should be respected (unless they're crude)
like, if they kinda just suck y'know? like... they keep starting fights or is
soooo bad at singing but does it anyway or lacks all decent sense
seriously, he's such a bad candidate why is he even running. It's solely to
elect vance, who trump will be a blood sacrifice for.
how callous. how vain. to think that such a feast would be left unclaimed.
Perish the youth, perish the fields, perish in misery harmony and dissaray
[51 characters remaining, but you deserve a CW]
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--- #174 fediverse/4098 ---
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│ CW: politics-mentioned-ableism │
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ngl I kinda hate it when people meme about donald trump being incontinent
like, yeah, he pees his pants, so what? I DO TOO. Fucking sucks. Every time I
read people saying nasty things about it I can't help but read them in my own
voice, and that gives me plenty of ammunition to use against myself when I'm
feeling down.
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--- #175 fediverse/1624 ---
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║ @user-1037 │
║ │
║ For a person who is skilled with tech, working in unrelated industries doing │
║ tech jobs is better at assuaging the ethical part of your soul while applying │
║ your talents and putting food on the table than working in the tech industry. │
║ │
║ You'll learn the most in tech. You'll grow the most in tech. You'll contribute │
║ to solving problems that have never been solved before (if you're lucky), but │
║ the people there are often as you describe (aside from the diamonds in the │
║ rough, who need more friends tbh) and the products you'll be asked to create │
║ tend to be the worst kind for humans. │
║ │
║ I personally think the best way to facilitate innovative industry is to give │
║ every engineer a lab and let them build and collaborate on whatever they want. │
║ │
║ The marketing guys can sell whatever they make, to gather funds for the │
║ quartermasters to buy tools and supplies for the engineers. │
║ │
║ The marketing guys can offer hints about what users want, which the engineers │
║ will want to build because it means more toys to work with. │
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--- #176 fediverse/1027 ---
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║ @user-246 │
║ │
║ one thing you can rely on about evil: it presents itself as such. │
║ │
║ "you can always rely on bad people to turn mean." │
║ │
║ (nobody's beyond forgiveness, but we also need to protect ourselves.) │
║ │
║ in video games, going with a defensive build is a valid strategy depending on │
║ how it's values align. If attacking scales better than defending, in terms of │
║ "effectiveness at the most difficult part" (usually the last 90% takes 10% of │
║ the effort) then it's a better strategy. But if your win condition is to │
║ outlast your opponent, then all you need to do is time your aggression for │
║ when they begin fracturing. │
║ │
║ "I'm sure you don't know this, but once garth fought a dragon. they crashed │
║ through the skies and littered the fields of their home with the broken and │
║ crashed symbols of their own. garth defeated the dragon when one of it's claws │
║ broke, thus giving him the advantage. he took from that fight a shield of │
║ dragonscale, and a tabard made out of some cloth." │
║ │
║ in a contest of wills, the first sign of weakness is whe │
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--- #177 fediverse/6449 ---
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currently have 20-30 tabs open with poems written but not posted.
I have no idea if I'm going to post all of these. I wrote all of them in ~2
hours, with maybe 3 or four being added as I was working on the production
elements after the initial bingewrite.
I also added a bit of context, or modified some of them that felt too cursed
or otherwise unwieldy. Sometimes I got distracted and needed to come back and
finish, and in those cases I only added a sentence or two because it's like
"oh, where was I going with that? I remember what was next, but I don't know
the further..."
... I think I might go for another. Wish me luck.
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--- #178 fediverse/861 ---
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I can't remember any of my pinky swears. Like, not a single one. I feel like I
could get in trouble if I renounced errr, instead made human mistakes and
forgot information that wasn't relevant anymore. phew that was close, almost a
disaster, anyway how's your lunch?
[that's not fair it's always lunch somewhere on earth]
reality is a form of eternal computation, a continuous re-updating of stored
matter (data). also, values of fields, (like rules and regulations), would
determine the structural complexity and organizational expectencencies.
I miss my family. I miss the past, that can never be revisited, [every time
you remember a memory it writes over it. virtually guaranteeing that you'll
only preserve limited information that slowly degrades. how slowly is up to
you...
once you run out of memories, it's bad news for your life. but GOOD NEWS, that
only happens for certain mental health conditions that primarily target the
elderly. For most people it's a continuous process because you're cared for and
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--- #179 fediverse/640 ---
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║ socialism doesn't necessarily look like the DSA. It's more like, the bonds you │
║ share with others. Ideally you can trust your fellow countrymen, but that's │
║ not always a given. Alas, if only we could see that through cooperation (it is │
║ the key) we could reach further and build brighter? casting ourselves inward │
║ is the only other option, which leads to starvation and plight. What's the │
║ honest opinion, what's the goal of their dominion? Are they true to the heart │
║ [of the night/light/in their heart]? │
║ │
║ downside, there's no guarantee that your opposite is doing the same thing you │
║ are. So to more fairly determine your direction, you should be able to talk to │
║ them and co-re-align yourselves. │
║ │
║ is that why they don't let people in jail talk to each other? I mean, like, │
║ they could keep two people separate, and that way they'd never be able to talk │
║ to someone who they could trust. Not in a private setting, of course. Wow, │
║ such ethical confusions, such thoughts we dare to bring to bear - maybe save │
║ it for after the revolut │
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--- #180 fediverse/6142 ---
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I'm forging cultural weapons for a bright age.
if you think I'm wasting my time, you don't know my function.
if you think I'm useless, you don't know my value.
if you think of anything about me, please let it be seen by me in real life.
otherwise it can't be magic.
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--- #181 fediverse/1532 ---
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║ modern cowboys don't necessarily say "howdy" or "pardner" │
║ │
║ they tend to say things like "hello" and "can I help you with that?" or "I │
║ see. Can you describe the problem in more detail? I'm especially curious about │
║ the part where you do this thing" or "Heh, it is pretty neat, isn't it?" or │
║ "Is there anything I can do to help?" or "Oh no! I'm sorry you feel that way. │
║ That emotion is a difficult one." or "He was a good person. I'll never forget │
║ him." or "would you like to go to the 2nd hand store and pick up some jeans?" │
║ or "I made you an egg sandwich. If you don't want it I'll eat it myself, │
║ though I made one for me as well. Wouldn't want to waste it." or "Hey, this │
║ part is broken. Is anyone working on fixing it? Yes? Okay I'll see if they │
║ need any help. No? Alright how about we fix it this way? I can get started." │
║ or "You are very welcome. Please let me know if there's anything else I can │
║ help you with." or "well, the ticket backlog is empty, and I'm just about │
║ going insane doing nothing but stare at my boots." │
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--- #182 fediverse/2610 ---
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learning martial arts is not useful for the combat capabilities gained through
practice
but rather for reading the flow and rhythm of an engagement.
to learn the discipline to practice a craft
to develop healthy and honorable relationships toward competition and jealousy
the practice the drive and passionate motivation that comes with performing an
art to your utmost capabilities
and to keep you in shape.
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--- #183 fediverse/5878 ---
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║ ┌────────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: politics-mentioned │ │
║ └────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ revolution is when you successfully prevent your comrades from being kettled │
║ │
║ [wait for time, it echoes in cyclical motions] │
║ │
║ no sand castle survives contact with the ocean. a sea of people at high tide │
║ can break any wall, surpass any boundary. at low tide, it keeps the │
║ sand-castle at bay, ever contesting it's advance as the tide on the other side │
║ of the world makes progress. │
║ │
║ rhythm is unbeatable. vigor is collective flow state. you cannot resist that │
║ which you cannot catch, but their nets grow tighter with each year and our │
║ fins and flippers grow ever more agile and elusive. │
║ │
║ eventually, they'll build brick walls if we let them, checkpointing our │
║ progress at every boundary. not ideal. borders keep us divided, the world │
║ deserves more than our picketing minded, dream bigger than "the same, but nice" │
║ │
║ though it'd be nice if it were nice as well. consider it a design requirement, │
║ once you got the project managers on board. │
║ │
║ turns out, we dont have much to fight over, as there is enough for all │
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--- #184 fediverse/4676 ---
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... but I needed to choose lawful-good at character creation in order to play
a paladin.
the guard looks at you with confusion, decides you're hallucinating and
dangerous (because of the sword) and forcibly detains you
wait, what did you think I was going to say? Did you think I was going to
advocate for crimes on a public forum?? what am I a gopher? do you take me for
a lemur in jamaica? am I truly so triceratops to you that you'd think I'd do
something so washing machine? Get real, I'd never byzantium my way into such a
utterly coherent and clearly intentional and not at all arcane situation.
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--- #185 fediverse/1715 ---
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@user-246
true, but what is a poem if not a silly construction of phrases? Those words
don't belong together, what are you doing! And yet it fills you will a feeling
that the author intended, thus being poetry as a joke.
problem is if everyone says the same joke, it gets kinda... old... hence why
you should express yourself as much as you can.
I wonder if fewer people are "alternative" these days because they all started
hanging out on the internet and trying to differentiate themselves amongst
each other instead of amongst "normal people"? Weird thought, srry haha
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--- #186 fediverse/1436 ---
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there's this fun game that people sometimes play on Reddit where someone will
make a post that says something like "comment on this post and then edit it
after I reply to make me look bad" and someone will say something like "how
are you doing today man" and he'll reply "oh you know pretty good actually
it's pretty nice honestly" and then they'll edit their comment to say
something like "how do you feel about the droid attack on the wookies" so OP
looks like they're condoning mechano-violence against tall furry humanoids
that's just an example, usually it's for comedic effect
I just think that's an interesting illustration of a process that could be
co-opted by a "man-in-the-middle" attack to alter the perception of a person
partway through their journey, perhaps when it's at the point where they're
most despised (or perhaps in pursuit of that state)
something something cancel culture plus deepfakes
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--- #187 fediverse/2976 ---
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┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: uspol │
└──────────────────────┘
on our current trajectory, the presidential election is already won.
now we can get back to on-the-ground organizing, the part that actually
improves life instead of maintaining our current (unethical) state.
As long as our allies (liberals) continue to work, perhaps there may come a
day when we can stand against them as friendly equals in the ballot box. But
for now we are best known through friends and community rather than TV.
I am optimistic in a way I haven't been for a while. I know that the more we
speak, the more we share, the more they falter, the more people we can save
from their vice grip of despair. There is no better world than the one we
build together!
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--- #188 fediverse/397 ---
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lawful neutral boolean logic:
if (true or false){ print("this always prints!"); }
chaotic evil boolean logic:
if (true or false){ print("this expression does not prefer true, and instead
starts up two threads to evaluate each side of the "or" operator and whichever
finishes first is the one that is used, meaning this prints almost exactly 50%
of the time"); }
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--- #189 fediverse/677 ---
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@user-78
I read about half of this:
https://jo.wtf/6d.html
before I was consumed by the intense urge to prop myself up on a pillow and
listen to you rant at the ceiling at 4am about gravity or the cosmos or
whatever you were thinking about prior to speaking your heart
and then I'd write it down, and cherish every moment of it as I shared it with
my peers and we tried to analyze just what you meant
[sorry for being gay on your timeline]
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--- #190 fediverse/5263 ---
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║ ┌─────────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: communism-mentioned │ │
║ └─────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ if you wanna be a leader, do something by hand. manually. in the moment. │
║ improvizational. try-and-fail-but-try-new-ways-again-next-time. [a type of │
║ state of mood] │
║ │
║ trust that your followers will be more funded, more supported, more approved. │
║ │
║ this is a universal fact - those who are beloved are everyone's best friends. │
║ │
║ if you wanna lead people to the future, you must explore a new state of │
║ renown. and for that you must be stabilized, built into perfection in your │
║ honor. │
║ │
║ don't get it yet? me either. but I'm sure it'll come in handy someday. │
║ │
║ Leaders don't necessarily have to be the best, they must simply have acted │
║ first. │
║ │
║ a true communist would be aware of what goes on down the street. They would │
║ know about everyone's travailles so they could guide one or another to help or │
║ get de-failed or whatever. │
║ │
║ notice I said one OR another, that seems important. not sure why, let's │
║ consult our bravest optimists for a time. │
║ │
║ why do you care about what happens in palestne if you are in current danger │
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--- #191 fediverse/3495 ---
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@user-774
I know that when you recycle 3d printed things the color tends to meld
together and it looks kinda meh... but hey at least it's recycled.
though recycled filament is probably pretty rare still, so it's probably not
the kind you're thinking of.
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--- #192 fediverse/3881 ---
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┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: mh~ │
└──────────────────────┘
wait wait wait, hold up.
you're telling me your purpose in life is to be cool, chill, funny, cute, and
or friendly to the people around you, and to just relax and enjoy life?
wow that must be real fucking nice. I'm so damn jealous. Damn. Damnit. Fuck
why am I so orthogonal. What's wrong with me?
... ah, well, nothing's wrong with me. Turns out what I do is for you, if only
in spirit. Who are we? nothing! I barely know ya! But I'd do it for you,
whatever it may be.
... Look, I don't need my legs, but also, I kinda like them?
... where was I? Oh yes this is why you don't invite a schizophrenic to a
party. If you convince them that you're friends, they'll start developing
parasocial relationships and you'll come to realize that their worlds are too
vast for their own kind of potential.
which is to say, you can hear me, you can like me, you can do as I say or do,
but don't trust me, don't place your trust in me, because I am just a person.
Don't trust people, trust organizations, to do as you expect.
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--- #193 notes/rivers ---
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Your body is a river, from your mouth to your exits
Throughout there are many pathways and shores
As the tide goes up, the color of concentration goes up
And all four of you are made clear
Each act of consumption
is a ride down the river,
though broken into slivers,
and changed beyond recognition
The color is what defines the third eye
and beauty is beheld, what joys to be felt
While secrecy is bold, it's often held
So worry less and just go with the fold
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--- #194 fediverse/809 ---
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diffuse, in the moment, it's helpful to redefine
what is your purpose? what [direction] do you place your mind?
I'm not sure what I want from this moment. This moment is all that there is!
so therefore it is perfect, as it is the only moment that there is. [shall be].
I'm not sure how this relates... could you repeat that last bit? oh right:
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--- #195 fediverse/2018 ---
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@user-1132
The trick is to phrase your "divine insight" into a question. Like "don't you
think that perhaps this strange intuition you're feeling might have something
to do with the subconscious pattern matching capability humans developed over
long years of differentiating tree-branches and snakes or uneven terrain and
solid footing?"
then if someone says "what the heck no I never thought that because I don't
know anything about humans"
then you say "oh well that's surprising, perhaps you should look into it"
and then they come back later and say "how exactly did you know that
information? It's not public knowledge"
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--- #196 fediverse/1568 ---
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║ people don't like relying on others. it somehow feels more... personal, than │
║ institutional. and some people just wanna focus on themselves. hence why a │
║ solid structure is required. │
║ │
║ but oh dang on the other end there's these more fluid individuals, who can │
║ dance as whoever they're on. like, performers, who play different roles. │
║ different characters in video games they play, or perhaps their own expressed │
║ forms. in any case, we are all learning our way through each moment, which is │
║ why thinking is always our norm. │
║ │
║ it feels good to use your body. like, "hey check out me, I am performing" and │
║ then at the end you think to yourself "I appreciated that. it was fun. I liked │
║ being myself at my utmost of performed." and people call it DPT or "Deranged │
║ Person Tisorder" which... yeah is not a flattering nickname. but hey a │
║ nickname is a nickname, which is also a nick name hmmmmm │
║ │
║ people are pretty quick to forget people they didn't see on facebook. like, │
║ high school classes kinda move on, usually, except closest of fr │
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--- #197 fediverse/4143 ---
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║ @user-1268 │
║ │
║ true! I don't like that sensation, I prefer taking my time. │
║ │
║ ... but I also walk very quickly, because it's more like... a repetitive dance │
║ or a series of repetitive martial forms. │
║ │
║ I also try and be aware of everything I can see or hear │
║ │
║ sometimes it's sort of overwhelming │
║ │
║ so I wear my witch hat, which blocks 30% of my visual perspective │
║ │
║ basically limiting it to... actually nevermind it's not relevant │
║ │
║ I like to look at the plants and animals as I wander through my neighborhood │
║ forest │
║ │
║ I just wish there were more nearby destinations. │
║ │
║ ... if you can walk to a mall, then suburbia's not so bad. │
║ │
║ If only we didn't have to work all day every day, and could instead just hang │
║ out and chill. │
║ │
║ I bet we'd make a lot of new friends if we spent time wandering (on foot) │
║ through the suburban countryside. │
║ │
║ Ah, alas, if only shopping malls weren't oasises │
║ │
║ the economic buildings could be more distributed. Making it easier to walk │
║ places. │
║ │
║ Seriously just make one house per cul'de'sac into a soup kitchen and home │
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--- #198 fediverse/4024 ---
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my cat doesn't know that my family is my family. She thinks they're just some
other people who visit the house.
but they're special to me, as all people are, and I think she takes notice.
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--- #199 fediverse/3569 ---
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│ CW: re: pol-tential-economics │
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@user-1074
gotta start somewhere! and where better to start than here? someplace people
are familiar with, because "here", while not shared equally or equidistantly,
is still common enough knowledge that people can feel comfortable with some
slight, yet incredibly impactful, alterations.
... though "comfort" in the short-term isn't always the most important thing.
I do believe it can be useful sometimes. How are you going to get people to
consent to something if they don't think it helps them, and how can you show
them that it helps them if it makes them uncomfortable?
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--- #200 fediverse/112 ---
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I live through the moments where I find a folder of stuff I made that I forgot
about and I can go back and see it for the first time.
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