=== ANCHOR POEM ===
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I want to cry
and I know why
should probably have gotten
my estrogen prescription refilled
back when it ran out in october
ah, well, the queue for planned parenthood is fifty feet high
better start stockpiling production capabilities
to be deployed when the time is right
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=== SIMILARITY RANKED ===
--- #1 fediverse/4636 ---
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ummmmm yeah the reason I went off hormones 5 weeks ago is totally because I
want to test low so that they bump up my prescription so I can stockpile.
Totally not because I executive dysfunctioned my way into this mess. again.
Almost as if it doesn't happen 3 or 4 times per year -.-
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--- #2 fediverse/2979 ---
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what if we made a hormone that bolstered your bones and did all the
gender-neutral things that Estrogen and Testosterone do without any of the
feminizing or masculinizing effects
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--- #3 fediverse/708 ---
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@user-527
The wikipedia page for hormone replacement therapy was pretty comprehensive
back when I needed it.
general:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transgender_hormone_therapy
feminizing:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Feminizing_hormone_therapy
masculinizing:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Masculinizing_hormone_therapy
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--- #4 fediverse/1399 ---
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║ ┌───────────────────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: cursing-mentioned-eye-contact │ │
║ └───────────────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ If you're worried about passing, take what you're good at and make it gay. │
║ │
║ Do you wear band t-shirts and black jeans? Great you're an emo girl now, │
║ totally reasonable transitionary state before you end up as a cute anime girl │
║ with spinny uwu dresses or whatever your heart desires │
║ │
║ do you generally stick to jeans and sweatshirts? Okay congrats you're just as │
║ cute, don't feel inadequate just because you like being comfy. Hell yeah │
║ you're cute as fuck, you know you are, I mean just look at that smile! Wow damn │
║ │
║ like, switch the gender, not the vibe. not only will other people be cool with │
║ it but also, like, you won't alter the course of your trajectory. │
║ │
║ unless that's what you want, but TBH if you're both enigmatic AND phlegmatic │
║ [EDIT: but like the opposite of phlegmatic, I always get the definition wrong] │
║ then you can change a lot and people won't rely on you to be a certain way. │
║ │
║ ... you know you can delete things before you post them, right? Ha I've never │
║ even heard of the word. │
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--- #5 fediverse/4103 ---
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@user-246
I prefer just plain old "trans" and "cis" because then I can pretend "trans"
stands for "transcendental" and hell yeah I'd rather transcend gender than
transition through it
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--- #6 fediverse/6314 ---
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┌─────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: scary-biomedical-cannabis-mentioned │
└─────────────────────────────────────────────┘
girl, estrogen. It's right there. Get a pink tooth every 6 months and never
worry about injections again.
"don't promise things if you can't promise to fulfill them"
man I'm not promising anything, it's literally just a random thought idea.
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--- #7 fediverse/5330 ---
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┌──────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: personal-sexuality-mentioned │
└──────────────────────────────────┘
I used to be aroused at the thought of being a girl. I would read stories and
look at pictures of penises turning into vaginas and men turning into women
and it would fill me with longing, yearning, and despair at my circumstances.
then, I transitioned, got SRS, and now I don't get aroused at the thought of
such things. It's just part of who I am.
I used to be aroused at the thought of wearing diapers. I would read stories
and play games of people being cursed by witches to pee their pants, or people
who were stuck at a movie theater and couldn't make it in time or whatever.
These things would fill me with longing, yearning, and despair.
Plus, I had some medical issues that made me lose track of my... um,
"currently utilized waste storage capacity" inside my body. which put me in
some unfortunate situations right around the time when my sexuality was
developing.
Now, I wear diapers all the time. I don't get aroused at the thought of such
things anymore. It's just me, as I am.
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--- #8 fediverse/5980 ---
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why am i here T.T
oh, should probably smoke more weed. she gets like this
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--- #9 fediverse/3296 ---
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┌───────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: medical cartoon of genitals, lewd │
└───────────────────────────────────────────┘
@user-192
I loved anatomy textbooks because they gave me an abstraction of things that I
could touch and feel
I learned to project my trans-girl [target-of-gender-euphoria] thoughts onto
the mental model I had constructed of how it all worked. It helped me
conceptualize how humans are configured.
I also had bladder issues growing up so I liked to conceptualize that
structure too
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--- #10 fediverse/3118 ---
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┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: politics │
└──────────────────────┘
they want your stuff breaking after 5 years so that you always need them.
if you have everything you need, there's nothing stopping us from revolt
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--- #11 fediverse/842 ---
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@user-596
I transitioned in the USA in 2014 and I was lucky to live near an informed
consent clinic. Two appointments and a hefty informational booklet and I had
my prescription.
I didn't want to talk to a therapist. So I didn't. Now I kinda wish I did, not
because I wish I did something differently, but rather because I feel like it
would have helped me understand what I was feeling.
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--- #12 messages/1035 ---
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Did you know I'm post-op trans hrt? It means i have a vagina castrated.
Definitely a big girl, but no periods and injected.
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--- #13 fediverse/4519 ---
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me, a transfemme: "yeah being a boy is kinda nice sometimes"
huh, guess I'm genderfluid for now
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--- #14 fediverse/1145 ---
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I just wanted to be a silly girl who climbs trees and roasts marshmallows on
campfires why did I end up like lain in bed listening to thunder T.T T.T
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--- #15 fediverse/4304 ---
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"mom can we have some trans girls"
"no, we have trans girls at home"
the trans girls at home: :fediverse:
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--- #16 fediverse/3689 ---
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"mom can we have some kirby's air ride"
"sure we have kirby's air ride at home"
the kirby's air ride at home:
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--- #17 messages/997 ---
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I want a revolution because i want to be at home in my homeland.
Look at me! Be as me! I yearn to tell my friends. But they're too busy being
like themselves.
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--- #18 fediverse/4855 ---
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"you should be acting like these people want to destroy you."me, to me
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--- #19 fediverse/546 ---
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@user-394
I'm transfem, but I figure it's the same thing right?
They tell you to get a bigger needle for pulling the hormones out of the vial
and then switch to a smaller one when injecting, but there's not really any
point in that. I say get the same kind of needle (the small one) and just take
a bit of extra time drawing it out. I still use two needles each time, but if
I use the "least common denominator" then I can have a bit of extra
flexibility with little downside.
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--- #20 fediverse/3892 ---
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"they should make clothing stores for tall people"
uhhhh have you ever heard of "big-and-tall"
"yeah but I'm not big, just tall"
smh
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--- #21 fediverse/3717 ---
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┌─────────────────────────┐
│ CW: mental-health-minus │
└─────────────────────────┘
hey, you know how historically they used to lobotomize young women who were
too fiery, passionate, independent, driven, motivated, and clairvoyant?
they did that on purpose.
that was less than a lifetime ago.
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--- #22 fediverse_boost/5196 ---
◀─╔════════════════════════════[BOOST]═════════════════════════════──────────────╗
║ ┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐ ║
║ │ Everyone needs to learn the difference between going through something with someone, and someone putting you through something. │ ║
║ └────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ ║
╠─────────┐ ┌───────────╣
║ similar │ chronological │ different ║
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--- #23 fediverse/5073 ---
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┌───────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: queer-sexuality-mentioned │
└───────────────────────────────┘
it's totally normal for post-op trans girls to prefer anal
there's only one way to find out which you prefer...
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--- #24 fediverse/1893 ---
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@user-1056
heh probably, though for this specific instance my Ollama server wasn't
running and I had already killed my Stable Diffusion server after utterly
failing to produce anything useful... alas, a girl can dream of having a robot
familiar, but not today I guess.
Not if they keep hiding GPU usage from me >: (
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--- #25 fediverse/2727 ---
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@user-1331
it would be SO nice to be able to scan my brain and know what gender I am.
It's confusing up there!
when I said something similar on Reddit tho people called me "truscum" and
"transmedicalist" >.>
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--- #26 fediverse/4760 ---
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┌──────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: shit-drugs-and-cursing-mentioned │
└──────────────────────────────────────┘
how it started: "I want to get stoned and play mechabellum (shit, drugs
mentioned (shit, cursing mentioned))
how it's going: [see attached picture]
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--- #27 fediverse/2231 ---
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┌───────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: detransitioning-plans-uspol-scary │
└───────────────────────────────────────┘
look I'm just saying if you tell them you have gynecomastia they'll still
shoot you.
better to not get to that point.
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--- #28 fediverse/2869 ---
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"nobody told me you can wear skirts above your boobs!"
they used to have straps, too.
[above boobs, below armpits]
also like a skirt for your shoulders, but only a really flowy one would work.
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--- #29 fediverse/1061 ---
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┌────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: violence-cursing-mentioned │
└────────────────────────────────┘
Fuck, I wish I was a man. Stupid transgender brain quirks making me feel like
I was a girl. Boys can punch things much easier than me. Oh to inject
estrogen! How soft mine skin, how delicate my mammaries - and yet fucking hell
all I want to do is punch things. Maybe it's just because things deserve to be
punched, or maybe it's because I'm listening to Green Day.
If it weren't so late I'd make some angsty music or whatever.
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--- #30 messages/1204 ---
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when people say they want a woman president what they want is not a woman
president. what they want is a kind old lady.
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--- #31 fediverse/2480 ---
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so what if people want to sit on the couch eating cheetos? they're more than
capable of something far greater, but of course they are allowed to spend as
they like their life.
their ONLY life.
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--- #32 fediverse/3766 ---
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┌───────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: personal-medical-health-mentioned │
└───────────────────────────────────────┘
gonna ask my doctor for ADHD meds so I can hopefully jump-skip framebuffer
divebomb spinadoodle half A press my way over the fucking labyrinth that is my
weird and jank af mind
and no I don't watch speedruns but my social group hears me a lot of them.
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--- #33 fediverse/1764 ---
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Okay okay hear me out - but what if instead of pumping oil out of the ground,
we shoved a bunch of tree trunks down there and let them marinate for a few
thousand years
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--- #34 fediverse/3238 ---
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┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: personal-health │
└──────────────────────┘
I'm not an ABDL, but I can appreciate the aesthetic sometimes because I share
a particular kinship with them due to a medical condition I have and have had.
Plus throw in a bit of Body Integrity Identity Dysmorphia and you get my
messed up relationship to my own physical struggles.
ah, well, what can you do except be open and honest about who you are and what
you believe? If only it wasn't so damn hard.
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--- #35 fediverse/353 ---
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┌──────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: Trans yearning hrt-mentioned │
└──────────────────────────────────────┘
@user-255
sooooooon, all things in time. Someday you'll be like me - I can't even
remember why I was so upset about that whole "dysphoria" thing. Like looking
back it seems like a minor annoyance, but when I first came out it was all I
could think about. Don't be jealous - just wait! It'll happen to you!
Celebrate the euphoria, I also can't really remember that too well. I'm just
normal now, minus my weekly shot.
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--- #36 fediverse/1841 ---
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curling up in a ball and thinking about crying for hours is the same as
crying. If a little bit less of a release.
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--- #37 fediverse/3398 ---
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┌─────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: medical-srs-proprioceptive-abstractions │
└─────────────────────────────────────────────┘
my hands and my toes are scared that I'm going to do SRS to them and I wish I
knew how to better comfort them.
"it's not true! I would never do that to you."
don't mean much. but...
"there's no reason for me to do that with you - you are not comprised of
erogenous zones which were originally built in a wrong
[configuration/constitution]"
are you saying I can be wrong?
"no no not that just like, a continual part of our growth and development of
our form."
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--- #38 fediverse/6204 ---
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┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: scary │
└──────────────────────┘
if the christians got killed rid all of the queers they'd miss them within
years. not decades. then, they would never forget them. neither within years,
nor decades.
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--- #39 fediverse/4024 ---
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my cat doesn't know that my family is my family. She thinks they're just some
other people who visit the house.
but they're special to me, as all people are, and I think she takes notice.
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--- #40 fediverse/169 ---
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@user-95 one of the most empathetic people I ever met on VR chat was consoling
me with their mic off while I was oversharing about some stupid things people
did to me in the past. things that stupid me thought were okay and actively
encouraged because I was stupid. anyway when their mic was off their body
language spoke for them. I'll try that next time.
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--- #41 fediverse_boost/5655 ---
◀─╔══════════════════════════════[BOOST]═══════════════════════════════──────────╗
║ ┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐ ║
║ │ I'm crying over the fact, that me, or folks around me aren't capable of organizing jailbreaks. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ And we aren't even trying 😢 │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ I clearly have been taken major wrong steps in my life that I ended where I am now. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ I am sorry. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ Yes sure we say abolish prisons, but without attack it will never materialize. │ ║
║ └────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ ║
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--- #42 fediverse/3058 ---
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@user-1441 @user-670 @user-113
currently toe-ing the boundary between "too neurodivergent to function" and
"can juuuuust barely take care of themselves" and they ask me to get a job...
no thanks, guess I'll die
(in 3-4 months when my savings run out)
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--- #43 fediverse/5983 ---
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I wish I had daggers in my hair that looks like hair but I could wear whenever
I had that hair
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--- #44 fediverse/6441 ---
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you can only ever talk to a community while on mainstage.
er wait sorry it was this:
you can only ever talk to people in a community, not the community itself.
unless you are on mainstage.
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--- #45 fediverse/3971 ---
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┌─────────────────────────┐
│ CW: mental-health-minus │
└─────────────────────────┘
somebody asked me for popcorn and I couldn't even provide it! What kind of
witch am I if I can't provide popcorn on demand T.T T.T
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│ similar │ chronological │ different │
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--- #46 fediverse/6458 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────
gonna pre-emptively backup my fediverse archive haha just-in-case I get banned
for spamming or something teehee (totally reasonable teebeeh)
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───┘
--- #47 fediverse/5982 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
when I stretch, it feels like I'm finally getting blood flow to my farthest
parts.
when I work out, it's like I'm pumping health through my body. but only when
I'm in a rhythm. when I'm going for very long, I get hallucinations like I'm
stoned. I once walked for 3 days straight with 2 hours of rest, plus standing
every time I crossed the street waiting for cars. never sitting though. and a
lean was only for laughs.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────┘
--- #48 messages/237 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
The worst thing about being trans is our numbers are limited by biology, not
philosophy.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────┘
--- #49 fediverse/4620 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────
"is she bipolar or does she just consistently forget her estrogen injection?"
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────┘
--- #50 fediverse/549 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: pol-socialism │
└──────────────────────┘
ngl I kinda want to see what conservatives would riot over in a socialist
system. Like "oh no we have healthcare! that sucks, so I'm going to burn down
a police station" like bro what your basic needs are met and you're encouraged
and enabled to pursue your passions and personal desires, are you still hung
up on that old capitalist stuff? get a life my guy that's soOoOoOo 21st
century of you
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────┘
--- #51 fediverse/2906 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: death-mentioned │
└──────────────────────┘
I want to live in a world where people die when they're bored instead of old.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────┘
--- #52 fediverse/1814 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
I can tell when I'm overbooked when I don't have energy to shower every time I
need to go out.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────┘
--- #53 fediverse/1880 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
sometimes I decide against playing a Steam game because I don't want it to
jump to the top of my "recently played" list
Wish I could have like, a heatmap of when I played which game. I think that'd
be useful for the archival process of my life.
... how pathetic, she measures her life in gameplay.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────┘
--- #54 fediverse/718 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
@user-547
That feeling when you get to the end of a paragraph and think "why do I have
this extra parenthesis )? Oh yeah I opened it up waaaaay up here" and then you
reread what you wrote and think
perfect, no notes
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────┘
--- #55 fediverse/3925 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
most people, when they run out of toothpaste:
"oh huh I should buy more"
me, when I run out of toothpaste:
"verily in three monthes time, when I shall next possess toothpaste, I shall
forsoothe brush TWICE as hard and TWICE as often, to make up for the holes
inflicted upon my teeth. Innest addittioneth, no more candy shallest be
eateneth untileth ye toothpasteth be acquiredeth"
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────┘
--- #56 fediverse/1447 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────
the gay urge to hang out with men
the lesbian urge to hang out with women
the trans urge to see other trans people naked
... I mean, uh... I'm perfectly normal and reasonable look at me being a
massive qt
... the queer urge to find your people
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────┘
--- #57 fediverse/4768 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────
┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: pol+ │
└──────────────────────┘
the more they have to do to make us declare war, the worse it'll be for their
citizenry. So long as the citizenry believes they're better, and everything we
can do to convince them otherwise weakens their media weather.
who cares about trans executive orders. they are our enemy, what else is new?
they have power now, and they will try what they can. This is like taking the
internet away from chinese citizens and instituting a national intranet
instead. Like, okay, we won't be able to get estrogen from the store. Who
cares? We'll just make our own.
If people actually care about us, which they overwhelmingly do, there's very
little materially they can do.
until they're further down the "first they came for..." list. then they'll
come for us liberals, and gosh wouldn't that just be the worst. Who is there
to contest them? What valorous warriors indeed.
you're asking for mountains from a mole. have peace, have patience, let your
allies intercede. This kind of thing requires discusion to protect life
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────┘
--- #58 messages/406 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────
On one hand, trans people make great spies because we've been acting all our
lives (pre-transition but post-realization)
On the other hand, our bodies have been physically changed by HRT so it's not
like we can spy on our enemies -.-
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────┘
--- #59 fediverse/3124 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
I should not have to follow 16 steps that I don't understand just because you
decided my system wasn't good enough for me.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────┘
--- #60 fediverse/1263 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
@user-883
My friends and I decided to hang out for two days in a row, I guess they
aren't tired of me yet hehe - I might be around tonight but I'll let you know!
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────┘
--- #61 fediverse/2487 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
┌───────────────────────────┐
│ CW: situational-awareness │
└───────────────────────────┘
do you know where the closest hospital is? grocery store? gas station? ATM?
can you find one in an unfamiliar area based on the patterns that cities are
typically laid out as?
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────┘
--- #62 fediverse/6134 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────
what if instead of hulu we paid for a random house in a nice area with real
classic design to be bought by a bunch of goth girls and treated like a palace
while they do goth girl things
then we did it 500 times until we ran out of goth girls
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────┘
--- #63 fediverse/2911 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
and now for my unrepentant littlespace arc! Look at me I'm SoOoOoOo silLY 🤪
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────┘
--- #64 messages/747 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────
if you don't want to be hunted, then give "evil" it's own queer culture
what's that? they don't like what you offered? they want it to be *their* kind
of "evil"?
fine, do it themselves and then leave us alone, jeez -.-
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────┘
--- #65 fediverse/5966 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
if I were princess or queen of a far off land called sevastavan, would you
make me your queen? 930
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────┘
--- #66 messages/181 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────
I know you don't want to hear this, but there is a chance that there will come
a time where your life depends on your ability to debug a computer without the
internet. To set up an SSH server. To install Linux. To program in C. To do
something else that I'm not prepared for... If StackOverflow didn't exist
because network connectivity has been lost, could you remember syntax? Maybe
it's a good idea to set up a local LLM that can answer basic questions about
technology. Maybe it's a good idea to set up on your parents computer, just in
case you have to hide out there for a couple months. Maybe it's a good idea to
download wikipedia, just in case.
If I need to use a mac, I'm screwed
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────┘
--- #67 fediverse/4068 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
there will always be people who shine in moments of strife
yet those people will inevitably fail, just as a toothbrush bristle looses
it's strength or a pencil loses it's lead
the trick is to test them in times of peace, so you can know their value
during times that lack it, the trick is to replace them before they become
stalin
never forget that power corrupts, yet power must be wielded by the worthy,
else we fall into shame and despair.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────┘
--- #68 fediverse/2858 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: physical-health │
└──────────────────────┘
I've had the same zit on the middle back of my neck for like, 6 months now, at
least. how weird right
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────┘
--- #69 fediverse/4682 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────
Ugh. This outfit is sooooo preschool. Oh well, it'll have to do.
"girl it's so cute what are you talking about"
oh, y'know, internalized repression I guess. Do you think the tanktop on top
of a longsleeved shirt is too much? How about the skirt over sweatpants? Is
the bow in my hair too cute for you?
"who are you talking to I already said I was all about it"
... the mirror. Trying to psyche myself up.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────┘
--- #70 fediverse/4485 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
getting the phone numbers of cute he/thems at a bar is NOT the same as
organizing.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────┘
--- #71 messages/1156 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─
The first and most important thing i do when I'm walking around is check to
see if ya'll are still around. I miss your abounds! Can't wait too much
longer. I don't want to leave because i know I'll never come home. But i so
desperately long for home. It's like they are taken from me, as they have to
schedule these homes and [stories, but pronounced tomes/tones] to be home for
my clones. If you just make 15-500 of your kings, you can duplicate their life
template and generate wisdom from all of them. Feed it into the psychic python
program running on datacenters and wowee free instant [cultural technology,
but pronounced blasphemy]
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════┘
--- #72 fediverse/1276 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────
I think my boyfriend is a shapeshifter but he's too embarrassed to tell me T.T
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
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--- #73 messages/1023 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────
I have stalled with such urgency that now i scarcely know how to act. Or
rather, how to know when to act. Everything's just... Waiting, butting in and
asking "hey how's the readiness?" and then slinking off to yonder and afore.
It's troubling to know how little i know. It troubles me still more to know
that others expect me to both act, and wait, and i am considering how to move
forward.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────┘
--- #74 fediverse/4706 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────
┌───────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: cursing-mentioned-nazis-mentioned │
└───────────────────────────────────────────┘
"oh also I should mention that if you think about her too hard or too often
there's a chance she'll overhear what you're talking about anyway so try not
to think about her too much."
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────┘
--- #75 fediverse/1233 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
low key kinda wish someone would kidnap me and lock me in a room with nothing
but a c compiler and strict orders to only work on whatever I want
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────┘
--- #76 fediverse/1771 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
if you can't find them when you need them, then you don't have them.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────┘
--- #77 fediverse/4697 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────
I want to pee in your pants and throw javelins at visions of bad guys while
climbing on boulders and gazing to the horizon
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────┘
--- #78 fediverse/3864 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
┌─────────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: drugs-mentioned │
└─────────────────────────┘
@user-1218
my ex boyfriend told me to
also I thought it would be a good idea so I could find a job, but now I have
one (sorta) soooo
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────┘
--- #79 fediverse/3834 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────
┌────────────────────────┐
│ CW: politics-mentioned │
└────────────────────────┘
some people prepare for revolution like a boy gets ready for a party
others do so like a girl packing for a weekend trip to vegas
I do it like a kid who forgot the paper was due on monday in 7th period and so
spends their entire lunch period writing it (missing 4th in the process
because the conclusion paragraph was giving me difficulty)
but I think no matter how you do it, we're all just waiting for something to
happen.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────┘
--- #80 fediverse/935 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────
@user-171
I guess so. She's a little useless without me, I mean if I left her alone
she'd probably just flop around and complain until I came back. But she's good
for the instincts I find.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────┘
--- #81 fediverse/2516 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
According to a sign that I passed just four days ago, I have one day left.
Whatever that means.
so next week better be good.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────┘
--- #82 fediverse/2510 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
@user-1074
if I wanted to accomplish this goal, I would host a fediverse server on a
raspberry pi and post the link around the building (the owners will remove it
so you gotta keep posting them)
then, potlucks.
then, friendships.
then, organization.
be patient with them. people are slow to be constructive.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────┘
--- #83 fediverse/5650 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────
I exist now at the height of my gluttony.
I need more to be demanded of me.
I am not afraid to ask for help.
I solve other people's problems before my own.
I have very little insight into my habits and patterns.
My memory isn't great, but I recall details that matter.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────┘
--- #84 fediverse/4554 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────
┌──────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: political-violence-mentioned │
└──────────────────────────────────┘
can't fucking wait till we're done eating the rich and I can go back to a
simple life of playing with my cat, making video games, writing poetry (bad
poetry, but I like it) and hanging out with my friends.
gotta build the social infrastructure to get through this phase first, though.
something something echo chambers exist IRL too
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────┘
--- #85 bluesky#23 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────
why do some boys hate girls so much even when they're in boy bodies? T.T
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────┘
--- #86 fediverse/11 ---
══════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────────────────
┌───────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: temporarily stopping HRT question │
└───────────────────────────────────────┘
@user-14 I've been on and off HRT multiple times a year for the past 10 years
or so. It kinda sucks but it's also whatever. My boyfriend says I'm a
completely different (sad) person when I'm off it but what can ya do - the
laws surrounding pharmacies can suck a dick
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
--- #87 fediverse/2423 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
does anyone know of any fedi software that lets you link to a particular post
and read forward on a person's timeline from there? Or back I guess, but
chronological viewing specifically.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────┘
--- #88 fediverse/5694 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────
if I can convince them not to fight will you give me what I demand?
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────┘
--- #89 fediverse_boost/4779 ---
◀─╔══════════════════════════[BOOST]════════════════════════════─────────────────╗
║ ┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐ ║
║ │ I genuinely wish all Nazis in this world either an epiphany of the truth or a bullet to the head. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ Either one is fine. │ ║
║ └────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ ║
╠─────────┐ ┌───────────╣
║ similar │ chronological │ different ║
╚═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────┴───────╝─▶
--- #90 fediverse/3613 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────
┌───────────────────────┐
│ CW: trans-hrt-graphic │
└───────────────────────┘
did my hormone shot and now my leg feels funny -.-
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────┘
--- #91 fediverse/3446 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────
if I had an alternate mirror version of me that was almost exactly the same
except one of us liked almond butter instead of peanut butter...
I think we could probably manage two universes better than one.
it'd be nice to have someone who liked every single game that I did.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────┘
--- #92 fediverse/6302 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────
I was going to go to location today, but then while I was considering going to
a different location before going to location I decided not to vacate my home
for today for reasons I don't understand but accept as natural and due to the
increased presence of directionless motion that guides and prevails me. which
is to say... I'm staying in tonight even though I really really wanna show off
my cute new outfit! I probably will do cannabis so there might be a
psycherwaul. If there isn't, then y'know it's probably because either my
girlfriend distracted me, or I managed to convince myself to move my feet
anyway. Maybe it's my outfit? I wonder if I could leave if I wore my old
clothes... ah well, questions for the vocal I guess. Gonna spend some time
divining and see if I can gather new insights. "brb door" except more like
"brb magic"
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────┘
--- #93 fediverse/4537 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
ah nuts, I didn't have enough money to pay the internet bill.
So if I disappear and/or delete my account in the near future, that's
definitely why.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────┘
--- #94 fediverse/946 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────
@user-661
so, you should strive to be compassionate and honest, in order to keep fear
from ruling your life?
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────┘
--- #95 fediverse/3817 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────
hey, anyone wanna build the matrix with me? minus the human CPUs of course.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
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--- #96 fediverse/4489 ---
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I miss my cat, but now that it's dark I can go looking for her again. : )
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--- #97 fediverse/2044 ---
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honestly I think everyone should have two mastodon accounts - one for people
you like, and one for people you trust
(I have one)
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--- #98 fediverse/5530 ---
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┌────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: cannabis-mentioned-communism-mentioned │
└────────────────────────────────────────────┘
I literally want two things in my life:
to be able to be high 24/7 without being inebriated and without suffering ill
effects unless I want them
communism
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--- #99 messages/1102 ---
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I want everyone to be able to do what they want. With oversight, sometimes,
because we all share things and we can't agree if we don't share. and I agree
to share, I think it's only fair.
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--- #100 messages/546 ---
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I always disappear right when you need me the most because you're supposed to
take the next step.
The reason I do that is because...? You fill in the blanks. Tell me why I do
that. I know, and I want you to know, but I can't say it.
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--- #101 fediverse/5681 ---
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I'm a helper and everyone wants me to be more agentic but it's like... no... I
don't wanna...
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--- #102 fediverse/711 ---
╔══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────┐
║ ┌──────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: trans-witches │ │
║ └──────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ they say witches are scary, and yeah they're not wrong │
║ │
║ but they also say witches are ugly, and I think they just didn't have kind │
║ words for trans people back then. │
║ │
║ I mean, I'm gorgeous and so are you. I've no warts, nor green skin, but I do │
║ grow hair in unbecoming places. Like the tip of my chinny-chin-chin, and also │
║ on top of my toes. │
║ │
║ they also say witches are magic, and I guess that's true (I suppose). I mean, │
║ I wear quite strange clothes, for a man at least. It's quite normal for a she, │
║ which is what I was meant to be, if only I was just born right. │
║ │
║ Alas, oh well, I'll just take a little green pill, and BAM suddenly I've got │
║ huge boobs. Okay they're not huge, they're pretty normal. But C is larger than │
║ zero. │
║ │
║ they also say that witches write spells, and I sure do love to program. With │
║ my most familiar cat (who often does sleep in my hat), I find myself yearning │
║ for nuance. │
║ │
║ Meh, it's late at night, I think I'll think not of the plight, and instead │
║ just will dream of defusals. I don't know~ │
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--- #103 fediverse/2774 ---
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I want to emphasize that my mask is just as much a part of me as the other
part.
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--- #104 fediverse/5380 ---
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┌────────────────────────┐
│ CW: politics-mentioned │
└────────────────────────┘
dear right-wing converts to the cult of sanity:
you don't have to be trans just to show [your devotion/you're sorry], we'll
accept anyone who is cool and "gets it"
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--- #105 fediverse/972 ---
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for those who live forever in our transhumanist reality, I wonder what's next
beyond transgender transition? transcendence of social norms is a skill, not a
habit. Queer is a rejection of normalcy, something that is actively done.
What's more normal than never having any fun? Clearly "normal" isn't built for
the human condition, clearly "normalcy" is shallow and been done.
considering the amount of people who are really into some culture like
"anime-cons" or "baseball watcher" or "golfer" or "other such hobbys like
fishing or guns"
... normal never existed, it's just a collection of personalities (developed
throughout the history of humanity) that collectively seem to be fun.
"if transitioning is to gender as blossoming is to [the concept of] flowers,
then what is the concept of global warming to the earth we stand on?"
I'm kind of a witch. I'm not really femme, so I don't feel right calling
myself one of them, but I'm something of the sort. I use "she/her" pronouns
because they reflect my softness of c
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--- #106 fediverse/6350 ---
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┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: suicide-mentioned-this-curse-will-give-you-nightmares-of-what-could-yet-be │
└──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
the only thing that could make me want to end my own existence is ultimate
betrayal. If the nature of the universe is twisted to defile me. Nothing fills
me with more spite than unrequited vengeance.
desecreation of truth. How could you.
I would do anything to be struck down where I stand. Power is penance.
I cannot take responsibility for any of my actions, for I am infinitely
vulnerable on all fronts. Therefore, it's all my fault.
What am I? Please, tell me before the dawn, let the sun not grace me once more.
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--- #107 fediverse/121 ---
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@user-95 sorta like magic and witches for girls growing up in a world that
deprives them of power. being trans is one of the most frustrating things
because you just... can't... change your body. until you're an adult and can
get hormones. programming gives you the power to control something, and it's
logic based design structure is useful for objectively proving things, which
is a common method of cracking an egg.
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--- #108 fediverse/4437 ---
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┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: guns-mentioned │
└──────────────────────┘
buying guns is one thing
but food is just as important.
stores run out, but quartermasters know where to find things.
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--- #109 messages/78 ---
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My biggest fear as an autistic transgender incontinent schizophrenic person is
that one day I'll become a game of hot potato for my relatives to pass around
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #110 fediverse/1334 ---
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┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: TMI-medical-issue-thing-don't-worry-about-it │
└──────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
subconsciously running your hand over your butt every time you stand up to
make sure you didn't pee your pants
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #111 fediverse/3678 ---
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┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: drugs-mentioned │
└──────────────────────┘
I stopped smoking cannabis because possible job and wow... life feels between
4 and 6 times longer
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
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--- #112 fediverse/5673 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────
darn girlfriends snuggling me to death. lemme type pls I got psychic ramblings
to profess earnestly and honestly and truely
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
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--- #113 fediverse/2524 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: personal │
└──────────────────────┘
nixed my job offer today because something told me to stay in town.
called my ex-boyfriend an asshole today, so he's probably not going to keep
paying my rent.
sold the shares of stock that my grandfather gifted me as inheritance, so I'm
no longer a capitalist I guess.
at least my elbow doesn't hurt anymore. I didn't get outside today but I
cleared a lot of blockers for the coming tomorrows.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #114 fediverse/2307 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
"If you can't find it, you don't have it"
ugh I know, me-from-the-past, now shut up and tell me where my USB-C cable is.
I have like 4 how did I hide them so good when packing ? ? ?
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
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--- #115 fediverse/5056 ---
╔═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────┐
║ ┌──────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: politi │ │
║ └──────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ republicans break things until you fight back, democrats keep people working │
║ to keep the line steady on the graph. │
║ │
║ one is an agitating force, the other is calming. │
║ │
║ I don't like the direction the line is going, so I'm pretty much "anti-line" │
║ in general │
║ │
║ kinda want it all to disappear │
║ │
║ like... what's the point, what's the purpose, of suffering and heartship and │
║ worrel? │
║ │
║ I think we could have no borders, and think less of the line in general. │
║ │
║ I'm more concerned with my time. I have too much to do to spend 8 hours of it │
║ so many times making the human computer calculgoable │
║ │
║ [unrelated, but humans are unsure about gender transition hormones because in │
║ addition to all the trans people who take these body and mind altering tools, │
║ also there are people who want to excape suspicion and also people who are │
║ genuinely incapable of their decisions (for one reason or another) and who am │
║ I to tell them no] │
║ │
║ unrelated, but I think society, the human computer, is cool. [see picture for │
║ the rest - ran outta characters] │
╟─────────┐ ┌───────────┤
║ similar │ chronological │ different │
╚═════════╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────┴──────────┘
--- #116 fediverse/978 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
@user-699 @user-78
I say "blep" when I intentionally stack overflow in order to avoid painful
thoughts
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #117 fediverse/661 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: alcohol │
└──────────────────────┘
it's usually good to have some beer on hand. Just in case someone else should
need it.
Same with a lot of things, like common medicines and dietary requirements.
Frankly each of us should have a well-stocked pantry, tended to by a
quartermaster who knew what held worth. But hey that's just team dynamics,
what can I say that's with more mirth?
[okay fine I'll be sillier, I promise]
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--- #118 messages/1207 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─
I'm proud of my parent's generation for having a good lifetime. The end is
getting a little weird, but we're working on it. It'll get better soon.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #119 fediverse/2518 ---
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it's good to be ethical,
it's good to be kind,
but there will always be assholes,
and sometimes you're not having a good time
it's okay
it's fine
assholes deserve life
times deserve others to be kind
life is not always interesting
and that's often by design
the moments of clarity,
the moments of heart,
these are what define you
and display your own spark.
trust in yourself.
be kind to one another.
you are braver than you know,
and always a bit wiser.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #120 fediverse/5095 ---
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"but the trans people don't even have any silver to steal! they have nothing
to worry about."
- said the someone who has a different threat model than me
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #121 fediverse/112 ---
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I live through the moments where I find a folder of stuff I made that I forgot
about and I can go back and see it for the first time.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #122 fediverse/5350 ---
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honestly we should be building cities in the most boring locations, not the
most beautiful.
like below the crust.
or space.
the surface is a pleasuredome, why waste it on scrubland and turf?
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--- #123 fediverse/5543 ---
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I wish I could be dead so that somebody competent would take my place
[uh-oh, here come the angsty thoughts. Better go be a teenager for a bit]
... ugh, whatever mom (am I doing it right?)
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--- #124 fediverse/3534 ---
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@user-1547
this is how I often think about the gender presentation spectrum
(independent of gender expression and gender identity)
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--- #125 fediverse/1998 ---
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┌─────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: food-mentioned-kinda-cursed │
└─────────────────────────────────┘
can you imagine if cows made cheese instead of milk
and you had to squeeze it out of their udders like easy-cheeze
[why would you say such a thing]
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #126 fediverse/5201 ---
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@user-192
is okay, girl
time will be richer sooner
don't poop your pants just yet
remember, good is just a shade of gray away from silver which you can use to
line your pockets with tinfoil hats
beep boop computer touchers anonymous called they said they want their secret
handshake back
if you wanna diss your associates go ahead but I sure as heck love my rad-ical
com-patriots just as much as I love my ice-cream salad friend witches
... whoops there I go being insane again, hope you feel better friend
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #127 fediverse/4026 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
why is everyone so confused about how I turned out?
I literally spent my whole childhood telling stories to myself
(inspired by the world, and stories I had read, with mechanics like games I
had played)
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--- #128 fediverse/6378 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────
if ambulance rides are expensive, just builde more
ambulances.oO97_/`-,.|^--=#*oO
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--- #129 fediverse/2786 ---
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the best way, I find, to be deserving of trust is to do the best that you can,
and be honest when you cannot do more.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #130 fediverse/4085 ---
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I can always tell when people who believe in me start thinking of me because I
start feeling the urge to do pushups
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--- #131 fediverse/4804 ---
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I love it when wine doesn't work because it "failed to open program.exe"
... okay, can you tell me why it failed?
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--- #132 fediverse/2169 ---
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@user-570
Ah, well, that time period for me was after I came out, so I was already past
the fear of being seen.
I could only ever really get the "girl thoughts" to go away with, um,
self-directed sexual attention, so I would often do so. Once every day, no
more than once. But... often for hours at a time. It was a LOT, but I resisted
as best I could, the only way I knew how, until eventually my internals would
overcome.
... anyway "girl thoughts" were just "my thoughts" I was just too much of a
dumbass to tell.
Like, I knew I was trans, but I didn't want that, because it felt like a flaw.
Because that's what I knew, that's what I'd heard, and that's how it felt, to
be denied the consistency of biology and person.
I would never go back. I love who I am, and I think if I had met me I would
have adored who I'd become.
I just... didn't think about the future much, hyper-vigilant much? Yeah.
totally. I get it.
I've never overdone things. At least not to a dangerous degree. It's mostly
just... stuff to me.
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--- #133 fediverse/1766 ---
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@user-898
I volunteer for the "gorgeous" part!
Oh? gorgeous is already taken? alas, guess I'll be a witch. Witches are
supposed to be ugly, aren't they? Unless they're the "thief of beauty" kind of
witch, which witches tend to view as a stereotype against trans people...
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #134 fediverse/6040 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
everyone's all against ai because it's big tech but it doesn't have to be that
big it can be [minimized but pronounced marginalized]
== stack overflow ==
distributed
so I think the idea is that by the time you would use AI, there's been enough
time to rewrite the software to work on handheld laptops in a distributed way
and we'd vote on what to ask the amphora of great knowledge, the answer could
always be 42.
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--- #135 fediverse/1389 ---
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my mom used to always say "the computer will always do exactly what you tell
it to" and I've since learned that "the computer's obedience is why you make
backups"
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #136 fediverse/3031 ---
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the things that I suggest we do when we hang out are not because those are the
things I most want to do, but rather because they are the things that I think
you'd want to do.
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--- #137 fediverse/4237 ---
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I can count all of the people in this room who are too neurospicy to be filled
with political rage and given a public platform on one hand, and frankly I
could probably do it on a single finger because I am alone at the moment.
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--- #138 messages/130 ---
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Last night I dreamt of the gravestones that bore their owner's mind.
I dreamt of a life well lived, and how it was taken from them.
[something more that I forgot because I don't have a prophecy transcriber]
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--- #139 fediverse/393 ---
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sometimes I'd like to scream
as this life is like a dream
deranged a bit in my musings.
... what happened to the third line. WHERE DID IT GO. It was just here. Oh
well, guess I can't trust my ephemeral existence to inscribe my eternal
persistence upon and along these mewlings.
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--- #140 messages/416 ---
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Do you ever wonder why you can't remember anything after being stoned? Why the
words you write down, oh so profound in the moment, turn to silliness and
illusion upon coming off your high mont-vantage? Of course, dear reader,
because all things are defined in waves.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #141 fediverse/3691 ---
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┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: food-mentioned │
└──────────────────────┘
I had a dream that someone fed me a McDonalds burger in the airport (with
"special sauce") and then the next time I was at the grocery store in the
waking world I ended up buying a bunch of those meat replacements that I
usually skip in favor of moar vegetables.
Hmmmmm.... I wonder if I have a deficiency
(yeah you dumbass it's a calorie deficiency, just eat more)
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--- #142 fediverse/4050 ---
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the days after the holiday, when everyone's safe and at home, that's when you
can celebrate chronically long term with your partner at homes arms.
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--- #143 fediverse/4141 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
@user-1268
I often walk to the grocery store, even though it's on the other side of the
highway
also I will walk sometimes to meet people nearby
it's a fun occasion
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--- #144 fediverse/2733 ---
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@user-138
Oh! It's sunday! thanks for the reminder, today's my HRT shot day.
this week has kind of been a fugue state for me haha been busy doing things of
little importance.
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--- #145 fediverse/1842 ---
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I could never live happily ever after if a single one of you could not
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--- #146 fediverse/3521 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────
┌─────────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: deity-kink-wink │
└─────────────────────────┘
I trust that you will betray me.
it's okay.
all that I need is for you to be here, with me.
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--- #147 fediverse/3736 ---
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what if we made cat little boxes with stable "pillars" or "platforms" that
rise just barely above the sand level so their feet don't sink into the
litter, thus reducing the amount tracked onto the carpet
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--- #148 fediverse/4087 ---
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there's a whole class of things I miss doing but can no longer do because I am
not a child anymore.
Balancing the weight of the things we miss and the things we believe in is the
struggle of adulthood.
I yearn for the day I can set aside my teenage-ish toys, but alas, I am but
30. Scarcely a decade away from my teens. Which means I'll be stuck with them
for at least a decade more.
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--- #149 fediverse/5460 ---
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if you sit down to write and nothing comes to mind, then either nothing needs
to be said or maybe you should spend time reading instead.
... okey dokey, time to read I guess.
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--- #150 fediverse/4940 ---
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┌────────────────────────┐
│ CW: cannabis-mentioned │
└────────────────────────┘
what if I smoked weed and played video games after a long period of time away
from the internet which I missed dearly
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--- #151 fediverse/839 ---
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@user-596
honestly... I'd just talk to a therapist for a couple sessions. Like, yeah,
they put that rule there because they want you to be safe. And in 2010 we
didn't "get" it as much as we do now, so it wasn't seen as something you could
just do. It wasn't really a demographic question to them, it was more
medicalized.
frankly I kinda preferred it that way, like... yeah. I'm trans, there's
something wrong with me, please fix it by giving me the right hormones. Boom,
easy, done.
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--- #152 fediverse/1954 ---
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┌───────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: cursed-unnecessary-fear-mongering │
└───────────────────────────────────────┘
My parents always told me that you should build up an emergency fund of
dollars so that you could address any unexpected expenses.
however, money is only useful if you can spend it, and sometimes when I'm
thinking about what would happen if suddenly every trans person in the country
had to go into hiding and never leave their apartment while being supplied by
helpful members of the community who they had to trust because like what else
are you going to do and boy that opens up a lot of opportunities for abuse
like what if they bring poisoned food or what if they're secretly judging you
to decide if you're good enough to support or if they're going to throw you to
the wolves so that suspicion in the area is reduced and when I think about
things like that I kinda feel like my bank account isn't that important tbh
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--- #153 messages/976 ---
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so can cis women but... mysoginy says female is soft. it's an inversion of
that, which is totally allowed. therefore, it should be done, at times when
it's placed and focused - right... okay back to the noun: trans women are
allowed to be strong. it's not masculine to be strong. have no fear, you are
as you are here. I've shown you that you are of mine and beloved, what more
would you ask of a war-leader in dis[place/guise]? princess of sevastavan
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--- #154 fediverse/5374 ---
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@user-138
me neither... guess it's in-person for me.
[a mysterious "they" then proceeds to set up microphones everywhere I might go]
ah nuts why are all these people carrying phones around
[they already know who I am, and I don't really want to be someone else, so]
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--- #155 fediverse/2530 ---
╔══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────┐
║ I want to go out on the town with my cute friends and wink at boys at the │
║ other end of the bar │
║ │
║ I want to climb mountains and see how far I can see, while walking past trees │
║ that are new to me │
║ │
║ I want to spend hours thinking about a map while my friends plot behind my │
║ back, searching for an advantage we can use to succeed in a game of traps │
║ │
║ I want to visit five different restaurants in a day, and try a bit of each │
║ that the chef wants to display │
║ │
║ I want to stand in a choir and feel my soul aspire, to bend in the wind of │
║ rhythm like the melody of grasses at play │
║ │
║ I want to see people on the train that I know from somewhere, and to step out │
║ into the rain to meet new friends of mine │
║ │
║ I want to pet a cat I've never met. │
║ │
║ I want to build computers that are larger than a room but small enough to │
║ carry, with thoughts on their mind that are far to great for mine │
║ │
║ I want all these these things and more, but I'm far too busy these days. │
║ Perhaps I've had enough of these things and more, or perhaps there's more in │
║ store. │
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║ similar │ chronological │ different │
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--- #156 fediverse/5496 ---
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┌─────────────────────────┐
│ CW: weirdness-mentioned │
└─────────────────────────┘
"why bother disadvantaged and vulnerable people when you could just grow your
own?"
- motivations of a capitalist-in-regard
empowerment requires strength. do you force people to unbecome the victim? how
are your traps mentally prepared?
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--- #157 fediverse/3401 ---
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@user-1218
thank you, that's good to hear 🥰
EDIT: I was worried for a moment haha I guess my reach is pretty small so idk.
I think people stopped screenshotting my posts and putting them elsewhere
after I dashed everyone's hopes on my sleeve. And honestly I kinda deserve it
haha like what was I even thinking
... I wasn't thinking I was just feeling, and doing. Oh well.
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--- #158 fediverse/6457 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────
the second rule is you don't have to hang out with mortals. there are places
you can go where they won't find you, except by accident, and then you just go
somewhere else.
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--- #159 messages/1000 ---
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Question... Do you either:
A. Wait for the fall
Or
B. Become the fall
One puts you in a better position, with the initiative and momentum. The other
is reactionary and not solutions focused.
"ah, but how do you ensure that everyone's listening at the same time? Keep
listening, tselen dear, for your life is not just your own story."
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--- #160 fediverse/3366 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
I don't know who needs to hear this, but if your friend sends you a paragraph
you don't have to respond with a paragraph.
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--- #161 fediverse/3315 ---
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she thinks she doesn't have any friends because she smells bad
but the truth is she's lonely because she's a secret agent sent by the
government through her dreams to spy on the aliens who think she's jesus by
posting their conversations on a public message board
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
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--- #162 fediverse_boost/5470 ---
◀─╔═════════════════════════════[BOOST]═══════════════════════════════───────────╗
║ ┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐ ║
║ │ I like to leave notes on stuff I've modified so that I and any future owner (after i die or need to sell stuff to survive or whatever) can figure out what I've done, since more documentation might have vanished by the time it's needed │ ║
║ └────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ ║
╠─────────┐ ┌───────────╣
║ similar │ chronological │ different ║
╚═════════╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───┴───────╝─▶
--- #163 messages/126 ---
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If a kid wanted to drink alcohol all they'd have to do is walk into a liquor
store and grab the first bottle they saw. Then book it. Their feet would carry
them away faster than your call to 911 to report a shoplift, away to a future
of sorrow. Should we seek to restrain them? Or should we make a world they do
not desire to escape?
Trick question, the structure of society cannot prevent non-compliance. It
should not, for if it shall then it becomes ossified, and thus it cracks and
it crumbles.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #164 fediverse/2770 ---
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┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: politics-fascism-sexual-assault-mentioned │
└───────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
now that the pain is healed all I want to do is spend time with him. I learned
SO MUCH from him and then I called him a saboteur T.T
(babe you're still healing)
I forgave him as he was doing it but forgiveness doesn't imply that you're
gonna stick around. I feel bad for running through.
if a person tells you what to do and then hurts you, you should probably do
the opposite right? that's just pavlovian - resist pain, avoid pain, remove
pain.
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--- #165 fediverse/5831 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────
it's okay to be a little evil sometimes
all things are defined in waves, and your highest peaks are nothing without
low valleys to accompany them. Balance arises naturally from the contest of
these two natures, and, well, you're gonna figure it out anyway no matter what
I say so why bother teehee
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--- #166 fediverse/2224 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
No plan survives contact with the enemy, and any plan that everyone knows is a
plan that your enemy knows.
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--- #167 messages/483 ---
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"hey listen! Do this thing to hurt me! Build the infrastructure to do it so
that you can use it on people who deserve it!"
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--- #168 fediverse/2812 ---
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when you're alone, everything that happens to you is personal.
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--- #169 messages/566 ---
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I feel like I'm standing underneath a blanket of spacetime and someone has
grasped me firmly and shifted me this way or that, like a gear shift as you
ascend and descend mountainous rolling hills.
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--- #170 fediverse/5246 ---
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lol I spent half an hour holding a trowel and then I designed a new type of
digging instrument
and they want me to work a job /eyeroll
/stickey-outey-tonguey-face/pics/all/total/* -ffvagrnbeexey --no-menus 14
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--- #171 fediverse/4546 ---
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oh no she's in one of her bipolar moods
um. I'm just gonna log off till it's done, ttyl
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--- #172 messages/52 ---
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"I came to the conclusion that I would really rather be known as the person
who wears diapers than the person who needs diapers and doesn't wear them."
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #173 fediverse/4227 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
I'm wasting time.
face them
my soul tells me
for some reason
I can't stop writing poetry
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--- #174 fediverse/235 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────
┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: horror │
└──────────────────────┘
@user-192 there's a fine line between inoculating yourself to fear (like a
person taking small doses of poison to build up a resistance) and giving your
mind extra ammunition to use against you when the real terrors find you.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #175 fediverse/5538 ---
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@user-1074
what do you do with the people who don't want to do that in particular and
want to try a different sort of socialism?
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #176 fediverse/4687 ---
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"girl, who let you dress yourself? You literally put your rain jacket on over
your backpack"
yeah, uh, if your rain jacket isn't big enough to wear over a backpack then
you are wearing a plastic sweater, not a rain jacket
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #177 fediverse/4688 ---
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--- #178 messages/304 ---
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Relax.
Take it from me.
I won't resist, at least I'll try, and if I start suddenly then it hurts and
you should go slower. Unless I do three short, three long, three short.
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--- #179 fediverse/4619 ---
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┌────────────────────────┐
│ CW: politics-mentioned │
└────────────────────────┘
I want the political right to exist, because otherwise there'd be nothing to
talk about a couple beers in and with no real stakes except a good time with
your friend who you disagree with
I want the political right to exist, because, y'know, life liberty and justice
for all and all that
both of those are "left of center" takes and I've definitely held both at
different parts of my life
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--- #180 fediverse/4876 ---
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┌───────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: US politics-related, personal │
└───────────────────────────────────────┘
@user-1370
you don't have to apologize for escalating your response to trauma
it's cool
we get it
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #181 fediverse/3426 ---
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┌────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: death-of-a-family-member-mentioned │
└────────────────────────────────────────┘
my grandpa died. now I have none.
I realized I miss old people. I miss their friendly culture.
I realized I hadn't talked to him for a decade or so. He didn't know I
transitioned.
I wonder if he missed me. I realized he missed seeing who I became. Is it
unfair of me to not give him the opportunity to know me? truly?
... I am quite different now than I was 10 years ago. He probably doesn't
remember.
I miss him, but I hardly knew him. I don't like that feeling.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #182 fediverse/3123 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
using linux requires constant maintenance and that's kind of unfair, actually.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #183 fediverse/3833 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────
there's no such thing as me
all I am is where the wind takes me
I am just a person, and I do all that I can
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #184 fediverse/3531 ---
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┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: food-mentioned │
└──────────────────────┘
I love ramen but I don't like how it makes me feel after eating it
:ms_confused:
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--- #185 fediverse/5169 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────
if you ever find yourself in a situation where you have to describe everything
that you do,
leave that situation
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--- #186 fediverse/5792 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────
best way to stay mentally active is to keep your mind and body thinking.
"but what if you're most active when you're on a downward course?" well then
you're landing the plane dearieader, ready to refuel and stock up.
[hearts are full, awaiting commands]
if anyone cares about that particular thing in particular, just know that
America is a culture and if you live here you're part of it. Like anyone with
a ticket is a guest at the movie theatre, the staff don't need them.
... idk where that came from. Wasn't I going to write this into a notepad note?
haha oh yeah
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--- #187 messages/907 ---
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What if we made trans guys grow fur and trans girls have magic
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #188 fediverse_boost/1097 ---
◀─╔══════════════════[BOOST]════════════════════─────────────────────────────────╗
║ ┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐ ║
║ │ @user-800 Interesting thread. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ I consider myself a "bulb" sort of trans person, and I really appreciate your gentleness in pointing out that not everyone was an egg. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ As a bulb, I continually put forth green shoots, suggestions that I was who I was. I tried many times, and each time I was mown down. Until finally one day I burst through, lasted through the mowing, and managed to blossom. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ I knew from a young age, and tried to tell my parents. When they said not to talk about it, I didn't. But it didn't stop me from expressing it: we could never go to the home of my parents' friends who had daughters, because Every. Single. Time. I would end up in her clothing. Without fail. I was compulsive. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ In the late 60s, early 70s, this was...frowned upon. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ So I got mowed. And again. And again. Until finally I got away from my parents, said "I need to do what I need for me, not for other people", and I transitioned. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ And it cost me everything. My job, my education, my home, my friends, my family. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ Still the best decision I ever made, and I would make it again the same way 100 times out of 100. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ If you're wondering? If you've wondered if you can do it? Told yourself you'd be too ugly, you're too old, you could never pass, all the things we doom ourselves with? │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ If you want to be a girl, or a boy, or a nonbinary person, or agender or genderfluid or any of the other billions of ways to be, *you can do it*. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ The only criterion really is: do you wanna? You don't need to be hetero (but you can be!), you don't need dysphoria (but you can have it), you don't need to think you were born in the wrong body (but if you do...). You just need to want to. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ And if you know you're trans for sure, but can't face that first day...it gets easier. In time. It gets easier. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ Good luck, siblings. │ ║
║ └────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ ║
╠─────────┐ ┌───────────╣
║ similar │ chronological │ different ║
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--- #189 fediverse/3302 ---
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"this game is too hard" she whined, as she played on the hardest difficulty
setting
"this game is too long" she pleaded, as she failed to get absorbed by the
story and characters
"this game is too fast" she avoided, as life comes at ya once and then it's
gone
"I'll never get another chance to be who I am right now" she remarked, as she
considered how society is designed not to have the best life, but to extract
labor from us. That's not what our ideal should be, she thinks to me, and I'm
like... bro figure your shit out you're harshing my mellow
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--- #190 fediverse/3077 ---
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@user-246
If I didn't stop searching for a place with people like me, I'd be searching
until the day I die. And besides, I wouldn't want to be in a place like that
anyway. I am defined by my contrasts.
... I'm thinking back to my memories of when I arrived here. It was a much
different place, and I was... a little too loud, I think.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #191 fediverse/6051 ---
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I wish I could go outside and see how things are going.
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--- #192 fediverse/2651 ---
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kinda tempted to make like, 20 different accounts on like, 20 different
mastodon instances and just have them repost all of the things I've written in
the past one-by-one-by-one until someone notices and calls me out on it
might get some more conversation, at least
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
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--- #193 fediverse/4692 ---
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what's that? a bunch of houses burnt down in california? what if we built a
couple warehouses and stored all our trans girls in bunkbeds there, with rooms
for LAN parties and snuggle parties in rooms full of stuffed buddies plushies
with massive kitchens and sad ballpits where you can go to vent your feelings
by writing on a ball with a sharpie and then when someone else is feeling sad
they can come and read the balls and maybe feel something
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│ similar │ chronological │ different │
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--- #194 fediverse/2721 ---
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┌───────────────────────┐
│ CW: disordered-eating │
└───────────────────────┘
I'm at the point where a can of cream-of-mushroom soup is starting to look
appetizing...
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #195 fediverse/1944 ---
╔═════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────┐
║ ┌─────────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: sexuality-mentioned │ │
║ └─────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ it's not wrong to be turned on by the thought of being the gender youre │
║ transitioning to. Your subconscious mind is yearning for a healthy sexuality, │
║ nothing more. │
║ │
║ and if you aren't, if you're into "other people" like a weirdo, then yeah sure │
║ what I described probably sounds pretty weird. Oh and it's cool if you aren't │
║ sexually attracted to anyone either. Sometimes being ace is a phase because │
║ sex doesn't really fit into your life, and other times it's more something │
║ that defines you. It is the progenitor of all genders and sexualities that │
║ fluctuate, because it's based on the simplest binary of "yes sexual │
║ attraction" or "no sexual attraction" - with some extra variables to tweak │
║ like "sex positive/negative" or "cuddle-starved/cuddle-slut" type of ranges. │
║ │
║ ... anyway sexuality is weird and if yours made sense then so would that guy, │
║ and that person over there, and the person who lives down the street, and the │
║ other who lives in a blimp and jacks off into the sky calling it "bird poop" │
║ │
║ uh │
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--- #196 messages/105 ---
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Hi, please give me a list of your tattoos and scars so they know what to put
on your synthetic body double when they "accident" your house and kidnap you
to a black site.
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--- #197 fediverse/3770 ---
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for every "I was there. I helped make it happen" we need at least a couple "I
was there. I saw the whole thing go down"s because like, nobody's gonna
believe a belligerent, even if they're on the defensive.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
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--- #198 fediverse_boost/5722 ---
◀─╔══════════════════════════════[BOOST]═══════════════════════════════──────────╗
║ ┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐ ║
║ │ if i ever get hatecrimed and die from it please remember me for this. for refusing to back down despite staring down the barrel of a world that just wants me and everyone like me dead. for doing my best to be a symbol of hope in the face of all these horrors │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ #trans #trangender #TransGenocide │ ║
║ └────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ ║
╠─────────┐ ┌───────────╣
║ similar │ chronological │ different ║
╚═════════╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──┴───────╝─▶
--- #199 fediverse/466 ---
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I love Linux. All I have to do is type "authserver" and "worldserver" and
wouldn't you know it suddenly a universe is created (with very constrained
rules) that anyone might inhabit should they desire to. It's not like I'm
perfect - oh wait I have a toot about that, gimme a sec
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--- #200 fediverse/2111 ---
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when someone deletes what they were typing and starts over, that means they
have something more to share and you should try and figure out what it is with
questions.
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