=== ANCHOR POEM ===
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ummmmm yeah the reason I went off hormones 5 weeks ago is totally because I
want to test low so that they bump up my prescription so I can stockpile.
Totally not because I executive dysfunctioned my way into this mess. again.
Almost as if it doesn't happen 3 or 4 times per year -.-
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=== SIMILARITY RANKED ===
--- #1 fediverse/6458 ---
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gonna pre-emptively backup my fediverse archive haha just-in-case I get banned
for spamming or something teehee (totally reasonable teebeeh)
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--- #2 fediverse/3766 ---
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┌───────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: personal-medical-health-mentioned │
└───────────────────────────────────────┘
gonna ask my doctor for ADHD meds so I can hopefully jump-skip framebuffer
divebomb spinadoodle half A press my way over the fucking labyrinth that is my
weird and jank af mind
and no I don't watch speedruns but my social group hears me a lot of them.
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--- #3 fediverse/4605 ---
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I want to cry
and I know why
should probably have gotten
my estrogen prescription refilled
back when it ran out in october
ah, well, the queue for planned parenthood is fifty feet high
better start stockpiling production capabilities
to be deployed when the time is right
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--- #4 fediverse/4486 ---
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gonna go on a walk. my cat is missing because I let her out last night. I'm
worried sick! this morning I almost puked all over my toes.
she'll probably show up when it gets dark. I bet she's hunkered down
somewhere. Ah, well, might as well walk around my neighborhood actively
searching bushes and such. Why not? It's not like I got anything else to do
right now.
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--- #5 fediverse/4843 ---
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just because someone did something one way and it worked, doesn't mean you
have to do it that way again.
but you should have a reason why you aren't doing it that way.
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--- #6 fediverse/4744 ---
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┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: cat-mentioned │
└──────────────────────┘
me to my cat: "don't eat so much that you puke, okay?"
me to me: "yeah I can take on another task, I'm almost done with this one and
then I'll just do that one and maybe this one'll get back to me at the same
time as this one which conflicts with this other thing so maybe I'll just
puke, okay?"
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--- #7 messages/546 ---
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I always disappear right when you need me the most because you're supposed to
take the next step.
The reason I do that is because...? You fill in the blanks. Tell me why I do
that. I know, and I want you to know, but I can't say it.
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--- #8 fediverse/6096 ---
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┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: poop-mentioned │
└──────────────────────┘
OKAY FINE I'll take fiber supplements. Don't blame me if I poop my pants
though.
can't stand the constipation anymore. Hurts too much.
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--- #9 fediverse/3717 ---
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┌─────────────────────────┐
│ CW: mental-health-minus │
└─────────────────────────┘
hey, you know how historically they used to lobotomize young women who were
too fiery, passionate, independent, driven, motivated, and clairvoyant?
they did that on purpose.
that was less than a lifetime ago.
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--- #10 fediverse/3613 ---
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┌───────────────────────┐
│ CW: trans-hrt-graphic │
└───────────────────────┘
did my hormone shot and now my leg feels funny -.-
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--- #11 notes/what-are-breakups-for ---
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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-
listen... if you break up with a friend, OF COURSE you should cry.
OF COURSE you'll be sad.
it's okay.
it's natural. it's human.
don't feel sad about the pain. feel the pain.
brb getting smashed
(okay but please put some clothes on)
-.- fine
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-
I can't fucking relax
the only thing I can think of is defeating fascism
this fucking sucks
I just want to cry about my boyfriend of what, 6 years??
jeez
like.... yeah I'm flawed
*of course* I'm flawed
I'm a human being
humans are imperfect
... ugh
er, sorry, "bleurg"
I'm going to eat a burrito
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-
alright ate an edible. 20mg. had 2 beers. that's enough for me.
see ya soon. I swear to you, I will be there tomorrow. and every day
henceforth.
... unless I'm taking a day off, like yesterday, which TBH was probably not
ideal.
I swear I'll be better.
there are no false starts, only probing strikes.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-
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--- #12 fediverse/5602 ---
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"so wait why can't we go outside again"
"I'm huuuuungry"
girl we just ate
"I'm tired"
girl it's like 10am
"can we snuggle?"
yeah okay.
that's why haha
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--- #13 fediverse/470 ---
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┌──────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: disability-rant-frustrations │
└──────────────────────────────────┘
Fuck, I hate being incontinent. I especially hate being incontinent in an
apartment building where people might hear you changing through the walls - is
it too much to ask for diapers to be built discrete? Alas, they are fucking
loud, and my neighbors will perpetually hear me tearing loud-ass tapes from
plastic every night at 2am -.-
Oh, I guess I could buy the ones that have velcro attachment points. BUT for
some reason those are always built kinda... shitty? Like, sure yeah we live in
a material world that has material conditions that make things more or less
amenable to perfection - but WHY do they have to be so LOUD fuck me amiright
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--- #14 messages/523 ---
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You know all those times you did really horny things for no reason? Those are
times when someone was having a wet dream to your life.
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--- #15 fediverse/2979 ---
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what if we made a hormone that bolstered your bones and did all the
gender-neutral things that Estrogen and Testosterone do without any of the
feminizing or masculinizing effects
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--- #16 messages/1224 ---
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when I go out on walks
before I set out again
I wait until my blisters healed again
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--- #17 fediverse/3058 ---
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@user-1441 @user-670 @user-113
currently toe-ing the boundary between "too neurodivergent to function" and
"can juuuuust barely take care of themselves" and they ask me to get a job...
no thanks, guess I'll die
(in 3-4 months when my savings run out)
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--- #18 fediverse/3776 ---
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whenever repeating letters like thiiiiiiis or thisssss make sure if you're
doing K's that you have at least four
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--- #19 fediverse/169 ---
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@user-95 one of the most empathetic people I ever met on VR chat was consoling
me with their mic off while I was oversharing about some stupid things people
did to me in the past. things that stupid me thought were okay and actively
encouraged because I was stupid. anyway when their mic was off their body
language spoke for them. I'll try that next time.
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--- #20 messages/303 ---
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Most of my magic is based on communicatuion. Why the fuck doesn't anyone want
to sit down on a bunch of drugs and attempt to figure out telepathy with me?
It's literally all I want! Though I can't say it's all I'll ever want. I'm
sure I'll want more, but like... It's not that hard, conceptually, so... Let's
just fucking try it please?
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--- #21 fediverse/5748 ---
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...zzzZZZzzz...
whyyyyyy am I so sleeeeepy oh yeah it's this human form, I gotta feed it and
water it and rest it and take care of it and it's totally worth it
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--- #22 fediverse/3118 ---
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┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: politics │
└──────────────────────┘
they want your stuff breaking after 5 years so that you always need them.
if you have everything you need, there's nothing stopping us from revolt
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--- #23 messages/312 ---
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Okay. Consider: if I'm good, and hearing what I say makes you feel bad, then
what does that tell you about you?
Why else would you hear what I say if not to reflect upon yourself? And why
would the good reflect away from the types of things that make you a suitable
fit for capitalism?
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--- #24 fediverse/2523 ---
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I just want to stress that most people know more than me
slept on my back. had a good dream. gonna shut the fuck up for a bit and see
what ya'll get up to. ;) 😉
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--- #25 fediverse/1263 ---
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@user-883
My friends and I decided to hang out for two days in a row, I guess they
aren't tired of me yet hehe - I might be around tonight but I'll let you know!
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--- #26 messages/214 ---
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Gonna take a break from this whole thing. I got a sign that I'm a bad person,
twice. To confirm. I need to change, and since I don't know what I'm just
going to try and do nothing for a bit.
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--- #27 fediverse/2869 ---
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"nobody told me you can wear skirts above your boobs!"
they used to have straps, too.
[above boobs, below armpits]
also like a skirt for your shoulders, but only a really flowy one would work.
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--- #28 fediverse/3864 ---
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┌─────────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: drugs-mentioned │
└─────────────────────────┘
@user-1218
my ex boyfriend told me to
also I thought it would be a good idea so I could find a job, but now I have
one (sorta) soooo
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--- #29 fediverse/2231 ---
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┌───────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: detransitioning-plans-uspol-scary │
└───────────────────────────────────────┘
look I'm just saying if you tell them you have gynecomastia they'll still
shoot you.
better to not get to that point.
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--- #30 fediverse/1334 ---
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┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: TMI-medical-issue-thing-don't-worry-about-it │
└──────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
subconsciously running your hand over your butt every time you stand up to
make sure you didn't pee your pants
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--- #31 fediverse/2939 ---
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"you look like a mess who can't take care of herself"
oh haha that's because I'm a mess who can't take care of herself
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--- #32 fediverse/4173 ---
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┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: uspol-mentioned │
└──────────────────────┘
I swear if kamala is elected I will do everything in my power to actually work
on my projects and get a job and be a good human
... wait, I already was doing that. But I'll be less stressed out, so... it'll
be easier?
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--- #33 fediverse/461 ---
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┌───────────────────────┐
│ CW: alcohol-mentioned │
└───────────────────────┘
I was raised in a jungle gym. Like... literally. I am not going to hurt you,
and if I did it'd be both a mistake and something that you could easily
recover from. We are infinitely adaptable, us humans, and we can address any
concerns that behest us. Behest? confront? something like that. Brb my blood
alcohol content is a little low. Also I haven't eaten anything today but
bacardi and chocolate chip cookies. I bet another cookie will solve this
problem.
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--- #34 fediverse/4654 ---
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┌────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: cannabis-and-other-drugs-mentioned │
└────────────────────────────────────────┘
gonna quit drugs for a bit, gotta recover from a recent haste spell that I
cast. Probably a bit earlier than intended I should add. Next time I'll
definitely say "keep this in your back pocket" instead of "hey here's a haste
spell for no reason at all" like what the heck were you even thinking, powers
that be?? [that guide me??]
who has power over you? If someone bears responsibility but not fault for a
mental illness, then surely those who are set to a task bear responsibility
for it's completion if not for it's ideation. Ah, who can say, maybe me from a
year ago might have some thoughts but I sorta ground them into the dirt until
I couldn't walk.
[girl what are you even talking about go to sleep] yeah yeah okay
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--- #35 fediverse/2524 ---
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┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: personal │
└──────────────────────┘
nixed my job offer today because something told me to stay in town.
called my ex-boyfriend an asshole today, so he's probably not going to keep
paying my rent.
sold the shares of stock that my grandfather gifted me as inheritance, so I'm
no longer a capitalist I guess.
at least my elbow doesn't hurt anymore. I didn't get outside today but I
cleared a lot of blockers for the coming tomorrows.
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--- #36 fediverse/5980 ---
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why am i here T.T
oh, should probably smoke more weed. she gets like this
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--- #37 fediverse/353 ---
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┌──────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: Trans yearning hrt-mentioned │
└──────────────────────────────────────┘
@user-255
sooooooon, all things in time. Someday you'll be like me - I can't even
remember why I was so upset about that whole "dysphoria" thing. Like looking
back it seems like a minor annoyance, but when I first came out it was all I
could think about. Don't be jealous - just wait! It'll happen to you!
Celebrate the euphoria, I also can't really remember that too well. I'm just
normal now, minus my weekly shot.
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--- #38 fediverse/4620 ---
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"is she bipolar or does she just consistently forget her estrogen injection?"
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--- #39 fediverse/5374 ---
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@user-138
me neither... guess it's in-person for me.
[a mysterious "they" then proceeds to set up microphones everywhere I might go]
ah nuts why are all these people carrying phones around
[they already know who I am, and I don't really want to be someone else, so]
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--- #40 fediverse/1764 ---
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Okay okay hear me out - but what if instead of pumping oil out of the ground,
we shoved a bunch of tree trunks down there and let them marinate for a few
thousand years
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--- #41 fediverse/6209 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────
okay just to clarify: if anyone is recording me or storing data about me, I
would really prefer if you didn't delete it just because I realized it was
happening. I like data! It's cool to know such things!
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--- #42 fediverse/2292 ---
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I don't know who needs to hear this after staying up all night driving, but
it's ideal to get where you're going with at least a day to rest. The body can
only do so much, and isn't it better to be fresh?
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--- #43 fediverse/3117 ---
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┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: cursed-uspol │
└──────────────────────┘
hey. wanna know what would be really cursed?
--
if trump dropped out and musk took his place
--
good thing it'll never happen because those dinguses can't accept defeat and
will never tactically retreat
--
maybe something to keep in mind for 4 years from now. eyes on the prize for
now means our eyes aren't to our flanks.
what else could they do that would come out of left field?
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--- #44 fediverse/6302 ---
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I was going to go to location today, but then while I was considering going to
a different location before going to location I decided not to vacate my home
for today for reasons I don't understand but accept as natural and due to the
increased presence of directionless motion that guides and prevails me. which
is to say... I'm staying in tonight even though I really really wanna show off
my cute new outfit! I probably will do cannabis so there might be a
psycherwaul. If there isn't, then y'know it's probably because either my
girlfriend distracted me, or I managed to convince myself to move my feet
anyway. Maybe it's my outfit? I wonder if I could leave if I wore my old
clothes... ah well, questions for the vocal I guess. Gonna spend some time
divining and see if I can gather new insights. "brb door" except more like
"brb magic"
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--- #45 fediverse/6314 ---
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┌─────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: scary-biomedical-cannabis-mentioned │
└─────────────────────────────────────────────┘
girl, estrogen. It's right there. Get a pink tooth every 6 months and never
worry about injections again.
"don't promise things if you can't promise to fulfill them"
man I'm not promising anything, it's literally just a random thought idea.
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--- #46 fediverse/1771 ---
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if you can't find them when you need them, then you don't have them.
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--- #47 fediverse/5163 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────
┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: sex-mentioned │
└──────────────────────┘
why are people so weird about sex? like, hell yeah I'd totally watch you do
it. I bet you make it awesome. We can get beers afterwards and maybe
[cheer/tear repeatedly] afterwards.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────┘
--- #48 fediverse/4141 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
@user-1268
I often walk to the grocery store, even though it's on the other side of the
highway
also I will walk sometimes to meet people nearby
it's a fun occasion
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────┘
--- #49 fediverse/3076 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
┌─────────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: uspol kvetching │
└─────────────────────────┘
@user-1443
they need to do stuff like that or else the republicans would never win...
which honestly is the most heartening thing I've heard all day.
there are more of us than them, thank goodness.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────┘
--- #50 fediverse/6321 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────
"hey. wanna stretch with me? oh, whatever you want. I'll be doing my own
thing."
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────┘
--- #51 fediverse/3437 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────
┌─────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: mental-health-minus │
└─────────────────────────────┘
@user-579
my problem is figuring out which thoughts are intrusive and which are actually
mine
I usually err on the side of "would you want your sister to do this" or "how
would you feel if your mom told you that" or "do you think a cute sweet soft
cat would ever think such a thing" and that usually works.
usually.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────┘
--- #52 fediverse/4939 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────
┌───────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: personal-medical-health-mentioned │
└───────────────────────────────────────┘
me - "I have to wear diapers and it sucks because I hate them"
my girlfriend - "okay but what if you didn't"
me - ":O"
she/her - "how did you make that sound with your mouth"
the it - a-wawaWAwa
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--- #53 fediverse/5793 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────
I posted my words text file all over the c it y today. not sure why. maybe I'm
tired of this course and I don't want to let anyone down? Maybe I don't know
what to do yet. Maybe nobody works with me because everyone's keeping it on
the DL or whateverr?
... anyway enough typing, I'm going to go play a video game. like god intended.
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--- #54 fediverse/1955 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
I like cooking at home because I can just double each recipe and think about
food half as often.
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│ similar │ chronological │ different │
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--- #55 fediverse/4769 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────
nobody ever tells me to stop, they just tell me to relax. to take care of
myself. to be whole and healthy. that kind of thing...
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--- #56 fediverse/3976 ---
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┌────────────────────────┐
│ CW: politics-mentioned │
└────────────────────────┘
people are really going to work and living their normal lives as if losing the
next election won't bring about 30 years of purges
smh that's why it's called a "precipice", you can't see what's on the other
side before you wake up one day in hell
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╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────┘
--- #57 fediverse/5860 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────
Hey, life is better on my side. If you wanna renounce your beliefs, please do,
and tell me how and why you changed your mind.
tell me it was wrong. tell me how.
confess.
confess
confess to me.
I will listen and I will hear you and I will be the mercy for you.
confess and I will forgive.
show me how you are wrong.
give grace to those who are wronged.
take as much time as you need, but, there's only so much time.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
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--- #58 messages/1068 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────
why would they psyop me? there's a psyop about me! heck, I've never done so as
I pleased. that's an aspiration. everything I do is at a command, whether it's
my own or external.
these days I find myself following my own. mostly. though I am always waiting
for collaboration opportunities.
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--- #59 notes/not-gonna-post-that ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──
I was stretching just now and notreally paying attention to my body and just
feeling the most "stretchable" area that I hadn't stretched yet and I
accidentally made a hitler solute - sorry I was just stretching!! pls don't
interpret things into that like accidentally almost jesusing HEY I SAID NO
INTERPRETING ahhhh dangit humans are so
--- stack overflow ---
give your rulers power and let them keep it. Pick them because they'd be good
at it. Fulfilling their sacred vow to you.
--- stack overflow ---
I bet you could touch the spirit realm if you placed speakers next to a river
and noise cancelled it for a short time
--- stack overflow ---
nobody knows what jesus looks like. so you can draw him however you choose.
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--- #60 fediverse/3834 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────
┌────────────────────────┐
│ CW: politics-mentioned │
└────────────────────────┘
some people prepare for revolution like a boy gets ready for a party
others do so like a girl packing for a weekend trip to vegas
I do it like a kid who forgot the paper was due on monday in 7th period and so
spends their entire lunch period writing it (missing 4th in the process
because the conclusion paragraph was giving me difficulty)
but I think no matter how you do it, we're all just waiting for something to
happen.
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--- #61 fediverse/6021 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
you volunteer for things because you want a say in how they turn out.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #62 fediverse/718 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
@user-547
That feeling when you get to the end of a paragraph and think "why do I have
this extra parenthesis )? Oh yeah I opened it up waaaaay up here" and then you
reread what you wrote and think
perfect, no notes
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #63 fediverse/5136 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────
not really, I guess. Nobody will hire me because I don't really want to get
hired. Sounds boring, doing the same thing every couple days. I'd rather stay
at home in my [underwear/pajamas] and waste the day away with kittens and
care. why? why? what are you doing? she asks. The less you can do, the more
power will be granted to you. Save it for another time, when things actually
matter.
but today, does, matter, because today dictates your latters. Tomorrow is
predicated. on today. and today is all that you have. [this paragraph in the
style of alec baldwin]
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────┘
--- #64 fediverse/3238 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: personal-health │
└──────────────────────┘
I'm not an ABDL, but I can appreciate the aesthetic sometimes because I share
a particular kinship with them due to a medical condition I have and have had.
Plus throw in a bit of Body Integrity Identity Dysmorphia and you get my
messed up relationship to my own physical struggles.
ah, well, what can you do except be open and honest about who you are and what
you believe? If only it wasn't so damn hard.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #65 fediverse/549 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: pol-socialism │
└──────────────────────┘
ngl I kinda want to see what conservatives would riot over in a socialist
system. Like "oh no we have healthcare! that sucks, so I'm going to burn down
a police station" like bro what your basic needs are met and you're encouraged
and enabled to pursue your passions and personal desires, are you still hung
up on that old capitalist stuff? get a life my guy that's soOoOoOo 21st
century of you
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #66 fediverse/4537 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
ah nuts, I didn't have enough money to pay the internet bill.
So if I disappear and/or delete my account in the near future, that's
definitely why.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #67 fediverse/1385 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────
listen if your man page is more than like, 10 pg-down's, then you might want
to consider breaking that utility up into smaller pieces.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────┘
--- #68 fediverse/3215 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
tell me this: why do Starlink satellites need lights on them at all?
can't they just operate in the dark, as floating hunks of metal sending
signals to-and-fro?
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────┘
--- #69 fediverse/3865 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
┌─────────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: drugs-mentioned │
└─────────────────────────┘
@user-1218
oh, also, because I started taking some psychiatric medication to help with
the aforementioned delusional thinking or whatever. Honestly I think I just
believe in spiritual things like witchcraft and the human spirit or whatever,
but since I'm having difficulties doing basic things my doctors decided to
medicate me.
... but then I stopped taking those psychiatric drugs because they made me
feel numb and dense. It was hard to think. Thinking's all I do!!
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #70 fediverse/1999 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
sometimes you need to regress in order to move forward from pain
... which is why I dropped out of the "Paladin academy"
no I will not elaborate
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #71 messages/765 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────
you don't have to write poetry to write notes. The poetics are just practice
for when secrecy is intended.
OR IS IT THE REAL THING? who can say.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────┘
--- #72 messages/78 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────
My biggest fear as an autistic transgender incontinent schizophrenic person is
that one day I'll become a game of hot potato for my relatives to pass around
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #73 fediverse/4855 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────
"you should be acting like these people want to destroy you."me, to me
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────┘
--- #74 fediverse/164 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────────
┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: recreational slash medicinal drugs and neurodiversity musing │
└───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
@user-141 when I smoke cannabis it's like my ADHD symptoms drop to zero and my
autism symptoms go from 50% to 100%
I can't understand what other people are saying unless I ask for
clarification, but I sure as shit know the shape of the universe and can
fathom the chaotic ripples of causality and eternity. Too bad when I try and
talk about it all that comes out is "desu desu"
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────┘
--- #75 fediverse/4706 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────
┌───────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: cursing-mentioned-nazis-mentioned │
└───────────────────────────────────────────┘
"oh also I should mention that if you think about her too hard or too often
there's a chance she'll overhear what you're talking about anyway so try not
to think about her too much."
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────┘
--- #76 fediverse/5299 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────
@user-1800
also googly eyes on sunglasses to fuck with their eye-movement-tracking
... wait, then you wouldn't be able to see. okay how about you place the
googly eyes on the forehead part of a HELMET of some kind, which should help
protect your "not-gonna-get-back-up" parts from harm.
and don't forget sunglasses because they help with the UV-ray violet
radicalization.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #77 fediverse/6029 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
spilled water on my keyboard by living with a cat. it might be broken so I'm
using a spare that my girlfriend lent me. if you're wondering why my password
sounds different...
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────┘
--- #78 fediverse/3971 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
┌─────────────────────────┐
│ CW: mental-health-minus │
└─────────────────────────┘
somebody asked me for popcorn and I couldn't even provide it! What kind of
witch am I if I can't provide popcorn on demand T.T T.T
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────┘
--- #79 fediverse/4950 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────
have you ever been possessed by a SPIRIT??
I have. Like, nearly every day. Okay maybe like, 3/5 days. 3 outta five is
possession time. woohoo.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #80 fediverse/1535 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────
I only take things that aren't mine if they're in the trash. Or near the
trash. Or in a store.
so weird how the store won't let me leave until I give them some of my
dollars. This quartermaster drives a hard bargain!
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #81 fediverse/2559 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
@user-1056
my ex would absolutely fall in love with you
like, in a good way. he's a good person.
he did just break up with me, though. so maybe wait a bit before I hook you up
if you're into that.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────┘
--- #82 fediverse/552 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
┌─────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: unnecessarily-combative-sorry-smiley-face-silly │
└─────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
@user-398
you take that back you feckin goof Mickey is king for a reason I will DIE on
this hill
(jk sorry for being combative but I'd just like to say that I'm someone who
likes him unironically in essentially every incarnation)
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #83 messages/267 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────
I wonder how many things I've forgot? More every minute, I'd say, and though I
try and chronicle them all... What's there to say?
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────┘
--- #84 messages/483 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
"hey listen! Do this thing to hurt me! Build the infrastructure to do it so
that you can use it on people who deserve it!"
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────┘
--- #85 fediverse/581 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
@user-428
sometimes I think about how much more productive I'd be if I had a code editor
that let me draw arrows and smiley faces and such alongside the code. Or if I
could position things strangely, like two functions side-by-side with boxes
drawn around them. Or diagrams or flowcharts or graphs or...
something that would output to raw txt format, but would present itself as an
image that could be edited.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────┘
--- #86 fediverse/1157 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: personal-woe │
└──────────────────────┘
oh no, apparently I'm gonna be forced to drop out of university again in 9
days unless I do half a course and a final exam before then.
Tell me again why I spent the last 6 months doing nothing? Oh yeah the mental
illness, that's it. Yeesh you're such a drama queen, just do your work and
you'll be good.
what's that? intrusive thoughts time? Don't you mean "nap until they go away"
time? oh yeah that's probably at least part of the problem with the whole
"dropping out" thing.
If only I didn't have the same reaction to "doing things I don't want to do"
that most people have to "touching hot stoves", that'd be nice.
my mother's voice ripples across space and time "you're such a smart boy, if
you just apply yourself you can do anything! You can do anything you put your
mind to. I believe in you and I love you." thanks mom
brrrrr it's so cold here. wish I could afford to run the heater. - actually no
I don't because it's not solar powered and I refuse to use fossil fuels if I
have blankets >.>
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────┘
--- #87 fediverse/4296 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
@user-1655
why don't we just weaponize email and send json to each other that ends up
parsed, interpreted, and presented on the end-user's computer using whatever
client we want?
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────┘
--- #88 fediverse/562 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
when peak unintelligibility levels have been reached, feel free to become
unremarkable at your leisure.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────┘
--- #89 fediverse/1195 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
@user-883
alas, I live in Portland Oregon, but perhaps I might be moving to Denver in
the near future. We shall see, depends on if my boyfriend breaks up with me
for being neurotic lmao - if so then we should totally hang out
I'm into chatting. I don't like IRC very much because it doesn't save history,
and while I could save it manually it feels like a disservice to the service
to utilize it in a way that it wasn't intended. And I want to save every
conversation I have (potentially) so that some day the god-like humans of the
future might clone me to understand my wisdom or something. Idk. See attached
picture, I'm kinda crazy:
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────┘
--- #90 fediverse/1801 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
people call me "hypervigilant" as if being constantly aware is not a normal
state for them.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────┘
--- #91 messages/1204 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─
when people say they want a woman president what they want is not a woman
president. what they want is a kind old lady.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════┘
--- #92 fediverse/3767 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────
┌───────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: personal-medical-health-mentioned │
└───────────────────────────────────────────┘
"having trouble doing anything at all because you have too many thoughts? Here
let's give your body a turbo-boost so that you won't be able to help but skip
those pesky mind critters!"
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────┘
--- #93 fediverse/6087 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
@user-1074
why not both? all you gotta do is say "I'm just a girl" enough times and the
dummies will believe you wink
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
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--- #94 fediverse/5750 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────
I love when I can go on walks... they're soooooo much fun! can see so many
cool people and places and things... alas
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--- #95 fediverse/4658 ---
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... and then things got turned up to eleven
what were they at before?
... eleven. why do you ask?
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--- #96 fediverse/1971 ---
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┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: drugs-mentioned-probably-delusional-psychosis-idk-though-i'm-not-a-doctor │
└──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
listen, if you didn't want me to do a bunch of drugs then why would you
consistently say "please stop doing drugs" every time I do drugs? And no I'm
not hallucinating a voice in my head telling me "please stop doing drugs"
because A. it's not a voice, I'm not hearing it with my hears, which means B.
it's definitely just a hallucination, and hallucinations are always to be
considered WRONG and BAD, right? Or was I not listening in therapy? Ah, well,
better take another hit, where's my shotglass? Hmmmmm I should watch Adventure
Time, that's a great show.
[bro it's a saturday, why are you getting turnt like it's tuesday]
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--- #97 fediverse/2480 ---
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so what if people want to sit on the couch eating cheetos? they're more than
capable of something far greater, but of course they are allowed to spend as
they like their life.
their ONLY life.
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--- #98 fediverse/2733 ---
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@user-138
Oh! It's sunday! thanks for the reminder, today's my HRT shot day.
this week has kind of been a fugue state for me haha been busy doing things of
little importance.
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--- #99 fediverse/2489 ---
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┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: uspol │
└──────────────────────┘
in peacetime, one may live as they define. they can be kooky and precious and
beautiful and kind. sometimes, though, that opportunity is taken away, and
suddenly life fades from view and all you are left with is perfect clarity.
I'd like to clarify why I feel the way I do about the situation at hand.
there are three reasons, so I think I'll put them in five posts, including
this one.
[1/5]
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--- #100 fediverse/4024 ---
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my cat doesn't know that my family is my family. She thinks they're just some
other people who visit the house.
but they're special to me, as all people are, and I think she takes notice.
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--- #101 fediverse/4699 ---
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someone once told me that anything with a battery is a bomb if you hit it with
just the right kind of radiation. or maybe he said 5g waves or electromagnetic
pulse or... actually he didn't say at all. he just said batteries are bombs. I
hope he's doing okay, he could have killed me like, 15 times but he didn't. so
I guess that means he likes me? I hope he's doing okay.
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--- #102 fediverse/4546 ---
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oh no she's in one of her bipolar moods
um. I'm just gonna log off till it's done, ttyl
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--- #103 fediverse/4336 ---
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gonna play more video games, currently have 11 tabs of written posts open in
my browser...
(okay a few of them get a little off-topic, but hey I have ADHD what do you
expect of me)
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--- #104 messages/997 ---
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I want a revolution because i want to be at home in my homeland.
Look at me! Be as me! I yearn to tell my friends. But they're too busy being
like themselves.
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--- #105 fediverse/1397 ---
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why don't we teach git in high school?
oh yeah, because microsoft word is not plain text.
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--- #106 messages/525 ---
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Why do I keep dreaming of embarrassing myself in combat situations?
Oh yeah, because all my paladins need me, and I'm a fucking baby. What did I
do to deserve this upon them. How could they learn from me? There is nothing
for me to be. I am ashamed of myself.
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--- #107 fediverse/2651 ---
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kinda tempted to make like, 20 different accounts on like, 20 different
mastodon instances and just have them repost all of the things I've written in
the past one-by-one-by-one until someone notices and calls me out on it
might get some more conversation, at least
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--- #108 fediverse/5961 ---
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@user-138
maybe it's evil hackers - idk that's beyond my expertise - good luck : )
(I'd need to see the piece of technology to work on it. I'm a hardware kinda
[girl, but pronounced guy])
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--- #109 fediverse/4229 ---
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I am NOT indecisive. I just... don't want to be right, because then I'll have
to take the manila envelope in from the mailbox and then I'll have to deal
with it, and that's not fun.
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--- #110 fediverse/5485 ---
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why the heck would you only let people sleep in your bed if you're also
sleeping in it? maybe they'll sniff your pillow and get lost in your dreams.
/shrug
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--- #111 fediverse/938 ---
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@user-649
same... sometimes it feels like I step on toes that I didn't know existed! I
got tired of walking on egg shells so now I just try and religiously put
content warnings on things that feel intense.
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--- #112 fediverse/429 ---
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┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: cursing │
└──────────────────────┘
wow, 2024 comes out swinging.
if you don't know what I'm talking about... you will soon enough. Just listen.
can't fucking wait to see how it happens. Today is the birth place of
humanity, just as yesterday was, and the day before, and the day before...
our light shall shine upon the most distant stars - our minds will plumb the
deepest depths of imagination. Our hearts will share our kindest loves, and
our will shall drive us onward. Let us rejoice, for tomorrow yet dawns!
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--- #113 fediverse/5782 ---
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sometimes I post random silly [scary] things to pad out the serious things and
I hope that's okay
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--- #114 messages/1051 ---
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Good storytelling is telling things [even if/because] they are plot of the
events as told via -- stack overflow -- hmmm this was from a while ago, idk
when
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--- #115 fediverse/4543 ---
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@user-1698
Ha that does sound pretty "fun" - I take it you aren't a pianist?
I smell bad because... reasons... so I am always hyper-aware of myself when
I'm in situations like that. The idea that I might ruin someone's day by being
there terrifies me.
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--- #116 fediverse/1251 ---
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@user-889
it sounds like you're having a real tough time. : (
you can get through it, I know you can. On the other side is something warm
and safe, but to get there it's going to be hard and painful. I don't know
exactly what you're working with but if you want someone to talk to about it
you can message me.
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--- #117 fediverse/4345 ---
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┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: uspol │
└──────────────────────┘
@user-883
every time I've tried to get a job for someone in the tech industry they
turned out to be a fed, so...
I do know people that you'd like to talk to, though. Just a few. That's all I
personally can do.
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--- #118 fediverse/5520 ---
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who said you need a protest to carry a sign? you can literally just write
something on cardboard and walk around town while holding it. Don't even need
to walk in circles either, just... go from the north side, to the south side,
then west, then east, then whatever.
unless you're russian, then you wanna do north-south-east-west apparently.
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--- #119 fediverse/3563 ---
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@user-1209
good
judge me
find me just
I accept my fate
whatever it may be
for I trust that which sees;
that which is judging me thus.
may fortune bring my heart forth
displayed for all to see, here is my "me"
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--- #120 messages/565 ---
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What if we told teachers to teach lessons like "the urgency of time" or "the
frailty of life" or "divide and conquer" or whatever
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--- #121 fediverse/3031 ---
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the things that I suggest we do when we hang out are not because those are the
things I most want to do, but rather because they are the things that I think
you'd want to do.
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--- #122 fediverse/5201 ---
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@user-192
is okay, girl
time will be richer sooner
don't poop your pants just yet
remember, good is just a shade of gray away from silver which you can use to
line your pockets with tinfoil hats
beep boop computer touchers anonymous called they said they want their secret
handshake back
if you wanna diss your associates go ahead but I sure as heck love my rad-ical
com-patriots just as much as I love my ice-cream salad friend witches
... whoops there I go being insane again, hope you feel better friend
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--- #123 fediverse/183 ---
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┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: food │
└──────────────────────┘
ugh. eating? again? didn't we fix this problem yesterday?
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--- #124 fediverse/4618 ---
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┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: mental-health~ │
└──────────────────────┘
dear me from the past: "why did you do this thing? And this one? and all the
others? I'm so embarrassed of you."
dear me from the future: "are you actually better or are you just the same,
but older?"
dear me from the present: "please eat some food today"
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--- #125 fediverse/5988 ---
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but I like moonmen T.T
what if the ISS was untethered
"send thrusters to space? why bother? just use them down on the surface to get
that extra oomph!"
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--- #126 fediverse/1603 ---
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@user-1037
I made a picture, hope it helps! I swear I didn't hallucinate this thing but
it might be less cool than I thought and I might have misremembered and made
up parts of it, I can't tell because it was such a short memory : (
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--- #127 fediverse/1328 ---
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@user-883
I read your essay on chapter 5! I liked your words. I had different thoughts
watching it (probably because of the cannabis teehee) so it was interesting to
hear your perspective. I want to watch it again so I can remember what I want
to tell you about it! Ahhhhh maybe tomorrow I'll read chapter 6's essay. I
gotta download those soon so I can show my IRL friends.
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--- #128 fediverse/3927 ---
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okay but why has nobody ever approached AI from a game design perspective like
seriously there should be researchers who are multidisciplined in this kind of
thing
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--- #129 fediverse/5673 ---
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darn girlfriends snuggling me to death. lemme type pls I got psychic ramblings
to profess earnestly and honestly and truely
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--- #130 fediverse/5662 ---
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don't work with me.
work around me.
don't talk to me.
talk about me.
don't share with me.
I deserve nothing.
don't take from me.
I have nothing.
-radio-radio-remedy-
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--- #131 fediverse/4758 ---
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I'm gonna go psycherwaul into my journals for a bit, if I come back today
it'll be extra waul-y so, idk, beware I guess
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--- #132 fediverse/4192 ---
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whyyyyyyy am I cursed with this 1024 character limit
why can't it be like, 16 characters total. I think that'd limit my thoughts
enough.
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--- #133 fediverse/721 ---
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┌────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: spirituality-and-homelands │
└────────────────────────────────┘
Hello, I am a witch and this is my altar.
Here, I dream of a green USA.
covered by the branches,
my body decays into parts,
ready to join the next life that needs me.
[read the alt-text on the pictures, or listen to your screenreader for more
explanation]
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #134 fediverse/1061 ---
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┌────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: violence-cursing-mentioned │
└────────────────────────────────┘
Fuck, I wish I was a man. Stupid transgender brain quirks making me feel like
I was a girl. Boys can punch things much easier than me. Oh to inject
estrogen! How soft mine skin, how delicate my mammaries - and yet fucking hell
all I want to do is punch things. Maybe it's just because things deserve to be
punched, or maybe it's because I'm listening to Green Day.
If it weren't so late I'd make some angsty music or whatever.
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--- #135 fediverse/5300 ---
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how do I keep finding myself here. it's like I wake up in some new fingers and
think "woh, vavadane" and then start itching my bored keys.
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--- #136 messages/730 ---
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"got it. So-and-so likes this-or-that, and whats-her-face wants it that way.
Is this the kind of thing you want me to try and remember to accomodate or can
you handle agreeing to disagree?"
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--- #137 fediverse/3253 ---
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it's so weird how these days if you don't like someone you can exclude them
from your social life entirely - like, wow... that hurts
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--- #138 fediverse/3678 ---
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┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: drugs-mentioned │
└──────────────────────┘
I stopped smoking cannabis because possible job and wow... life feels between
4 and 6 times longer
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--- #139 messages/130 ---
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Last night I dreamt of the gravestones that bore their owner's mind.
I dreamt of a life well lived, and how it was taken from them.
[something more that I forgot because I don't have a prophecy transcriber]
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--- #140 fediverse/3088 ---
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growing up, I wasn't around kids my age. So my standards were "as good as an
adult"
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--- #141 fediverse/3738 ---
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"girl why are you so negative"
uh, because I had been unmedicated for a long time and now that I am I can
probably be more positive. Though I do want to switch medications, this one
makes me feel like a muggle.
"no I said why are you so naked"
oh, because it's hot as heck!!
plus, I don't really care for the opinions of people who have nothing better
to do than peek at cute 30 year old witches skimping around their own house.
like... okay I rent an apartment, but my blinds are closed, and even if they
weren't you'd need binoculars to see into my apartment unless I'm like, right
up against the window, which... doesn't happen. Or if it's at night with the
lights on inside and not out, but I'm aware of that and I plan around it. I'm
not a... um, what's the opposite of voyeur?
"extortionist"
no that's when someone is really flexible. ah whatever. I got 162 characters
remaining but I think that's okay every once in a while, right? I mean it's
not like I have to use them all because of some divine mandate or
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--- #142 fediverse/1142 ---
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┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: food-mentioned │
└──────────────────────┘
I love rice and beans because
error: stack overflow
huh, that's weird. Must have been too many reasons. Let's try again:
I love rice and beans because
error: user didn't change anything between runs of the program so clearly they
don't understand how computer works
... well that's a different error so it's progress at least.
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--- #143 fediverse/5582 ---
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┌───────────────────────┐
│ CW: diapers-mentioned │
└───────────────────────┘
why do adult babies like to live in space?
because then they can be picked up and moved around easier. All you need is a
push, no matter how hard, and you can build up inertia.
plus, astronauts use diapers I heard.
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--- #144 fediverse/4878 ---
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OH NO costco changed their smoothies THAT WAS A COMFORT FOOD wahhhhhhh autism
strikes back part twoooooo
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--- #145 fediverse/3755 ---
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@user-1071
hehe it was my favorite job I've ever had
downside is... it was hard to get to work every day. I'm not built for
long-term dedicated labor. Maybe I should freelance? idk where to even begin
with that, though.
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--- #146 fediverse_boost/3867 ---
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║ ┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐ ║
║ │ I really hate "two factor" auth. Like, cool, I get it, it let's you pretend you can divest responsibility for security and recovery, but also it means dropping my phone too hard could be a life disrupting event so somehow I don't really feel like this is for my benefit. │ ║
║ └────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ ║
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--- #147 fediverse/5267 ---
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│ CW: personal-medical-political-mentioned │
└──────────────────────────────────────────┘
"okay but why are you so focused on outliving it"
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--- #148 fediverse/5799 ---
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all of my friends stopped liking my posts because they don't like me anymore
T.T
yep... that's DEFINITELY why
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--- #149 fediverse/3406 ---
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@user-1218
ohhhhh I think the password is menardi. or maybe ephemeren. I forget.
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--- #150 fediverse_boost/5871 ---
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║ ┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐ ║
║ │ going to therapy isn't a replacement for having freaky sex with your friends │ ║
║ └────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ ║
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--- #151 fediverse/1718 ---
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dear old people - did you know computers don't need to have buttons? You can
literally just type what you want to make happen (if you know the magic spell)
and it'll just, do that thing
how cool is that
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--- #152 fediverse/4742 ---
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"but what about their legitimate grievances"
uh hello I'd like a number 5, a number 9, extra pickles, some fresh human
blood supplied by the guy behind the counter with the pretty green eyes, a
number 2, make it a combo, some fresh icicle drippings even though it hasn't
snowed since last year (RIP winter), a side of fries, and a diet coke. Large.
Actually make it two diet cokes. Yep, both large. Alright see you in a sec.
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--- #153 messages/109 ---
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That's why I like talking about things I'm interested in. It makes me more
likely to be able to bring up something I've been thinking about.
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--- #154 fediverse/4467 ---
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┌─────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: politics-mentioned-trans-healthcare-gestured-at │
└─────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
I went to a trans meetup a couple days ago. It was invigorating. The first
half we talked about hormones and bathrooms and politics and all the normal
shit these meetups tend to do. I don't tend to go to them because it's the
same stuff every time, and I'm over that. I've been out for a decade. I've
shared what I need to share.
Partway through I said "If you want to talk about how to bash back, meet me
outside."
people came.
Be like me.
You will forever vanquish your demons if you face them in earnest. I had
stagefright and adrenaline but I took the lead, and we had a productive
conversation. We need to have many more conversations.
We have strategy. It is not set in stone, it is flexible, and able to be
adjusted based on tactical successes and failures.
tactics are what we need to discuss at in-person meetings.
You are just one person. The people you know are more valuable than the value
you personally provide.
Think of yourself like a node to connect.
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--- #155 fediverse/1362 ---
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@user-192
it suddenly became relevant in your life for a different reason and you wanted
to share it again to see if anyone wanted to talk about it so you could
explain your feelings and see perspective from someone who's maybe approaching
the same or similar thing from a slightly different angle?
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--- #156 fediverse/5727 ---
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I truly believe weed is good for me. Not medicine - it is nutritious.
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--- #157 fediverse/3620 ---
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@user-192
Yep! back in the day be-fore "four play" you could generally only single-play,
and for "four play" you'd typically find friends be-fore play-ing.
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--- #158 fediverse/3770 ---
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for every "I was there. I helped make it happen" we need at least a couple "I
was there. I saw the whole thing go down"s because like, nobody's gonna
believe a belligerent, even if they're on the defensive.
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--- #159 fediverse/1303 ---
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│ CW: cursing-mentioned │
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@user-192
normality?
banality?
errrrr I mean emotional disregulation and low self esteem?
... it's easier in person when you can see when everyone has the "yo what the
fuck" look on their face and when they have the "wait what was that I was
thinking about snails" face
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--- #160 fediverse/1349 ---
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@user-950
ah yes but how could anyone hurt me if I don't make myself vulnerable. It'd
simply be unfair to play a game without any stakes. But if you insist...
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--- #161 fediverse/5644 ---
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│ CW: palestine-mentioned │
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people's palestine trauma is totally gonna fuck them up when it happens to
their backyard.
thanks, evil-run social media. It's true we wouldn't have been motivated
without it, but such horrors are interminable to concieve about.
"what if we just built our own websites and linked to them when we find them?"
"hmmmm, interesting, this goes in my XYZ bookmark folder"
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--- #162 fediverse/2592 ---
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│ CW: re: politics-fascism-sexual-assault-mentioned │
└───────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
I learned a lot last night, and I'm pretty sure that everything I say is going
to be censored. Why would you allow resistance in such a public place?
I don't know what else to do, though. He will come for me, he knows where I
live, and I will do what I can to fight him.
He's much stronger than me. He's much more massive than me. He will kill me.
But that's not the point, is it?
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--- #163 messages/309 ---
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sometimes I'll accidentally get food on my hands and think "oh gross is this
why humans like to have napkins handy when eating?"
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--- #164 messages/304 ---
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Relax.
Take it from me.
I won't resist, at least I'll try, and if I start suddenly then it hurts and
you should go slower. Unless I do three short, three long, three short.
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--- #165 fediverse/4014 ---
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I don't know about you, but "trying my hardest" involves giving up sometimes.
How else are you to know your limits if you don't test your boundaries? And,
after finding that there's nowhere else for you to go, you turn around and
"give up", until you're ready for your next expedition.
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--- #166 messages/431 ---
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Rent is expensive because they only want you living there if you're working.
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--- #167 messages/489 ---
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Many autistic people will identify one particular way to do things and then be
only capable of doing it that way. Like, falling asleep on the left side with
their legs just so, and never learning any other ways to sleep on. But what
happens if for example they are wounded in the arm they rest upon? They would
have impaired sleeping capabilities! Not ideal.
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--- #168 notes/dear-me ---
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dear me:
DO SOMETHING USEFUL FOR ONCE
that's all, fuck off and be helpful
... wow, rude.
yeah I mean, I do helpful things. useful things, somethings.
helpful.
useful.
many such cases, she says, with ultimate certainty, as if narrative could be
prologued. but pronounced prolonged.
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--- #169 fediverse/2412 ---
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@user-1209 @user-1262
just gonna say you probably deserve that particular screenshotted block haha -
imagine calling anarcho-nina a fed xD xD
plus that first "get the fuck out of my mentions" was a tip that went over
your head, not a threat said in anger. she's pretty darn angry but that just
means you don't wanna be in her way =P
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--- #170 fediverse/2991 ---
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okay so if yesterday was a
"everything sucks and I'm the worst ever"
type of day, and today is a
"whatever mom I don't even care"
type of day, that means tomorrow will be a
"I can't believe how absolutely absurd I am"
type of day, and the day after a
"I am indomitable nothing can stop me"
kind of day, with the following being wildcards
... right? here's hoping. I like that trajectory.
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--- #171 fediverse/4896 ---
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┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: relationships, mh(+/-), where I've been recently │
└──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
@user-1748
they want you drained and overloaded.
makes it harder to take care of others.
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--- #172 fediverse/1617 ---
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daydreaming about a gang of tough guys who goes around knocking down the
internal fence walls in suburbia and throwing potlucks for all the neighbors
for a month or two so they have social opportunities to meet each other and
make friends
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--- #173 fediverse/3071 ---
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@user-883
solicitation brings to my mind the idea of a person walking in the front door
and talking to the receptionist, and if that's what you tried then I'm not
surprised it didn't work.
But maybe if you knew someone higher up it might get a bit more traction?
Ideally for a place that already does workshops of some kind.
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--- #174 fediverse/2891 ---
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┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: physical-health │
└──────────────────────┘
they're painting the inside of my apartment and it naturally has low airflow
in here and it's seeping under my door and making me woozy teehee better open
all the windows
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--- #175 fediverse/5698 ---
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you can't rely on me because I can't rely on a part of me being "out" at any
particular moment-event-message.
besides, I'm always tired, because I'm always trying as hard as I can.
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--- #176 fediverse/97 ---
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@user-110 Exactly! I play games to practice strategy and empathy, not to stand
triumphant over a virtual foe. Why should I care for the lessons of others
when mine so often go unlearnt?
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--- #177 fediverse/222 ---
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│ CW: underwear-mentioned-also-i'm-not-a-fan-of-showers-tbh │
└───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
whenever I take a shower I look like a wet cat for the rest of the day. I feel
like a wet cat for the rest of 5ever though.
why must I baaaathe! don't you know I'm self cleaning? I change my underwear
at least twice a day! darn society and their darn proclivities to
ultra-sensitive noses that somehow pick up on me but somehow fail to notice
the scent of flowers still in bloom or morning showers gone too soon
not that there's any flowers blooming where I live. that'd just be silly heh
heh sweats nervously
damn now I have to take ANOTHER SHOWER stupid sweat glands stupid pheromones
stupid dead skin buildup (sebum I think it's called?) stupid oils that stain
clothes - AND THAT'S ANOTHER THING who decided that laundry was important
enough to wear something ONCE and then never again? it's like they expect you
to wash it or something. ugh I don't have time for that, I need to be weird on
the internet.
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--- #178 fediverse/5375 ---
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┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: police-mentioned-psy-ops-mentioned-human-waste-mentioned-which-is-a-nice-way-to-say-feces-ew-gross-who-put-that-on-my-timeline-guards-arrest-these-men-they're-criminals-of-the-law-against-pooping-my-pants │
└──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
what if we psyopped the copps um I mean what if we flash-mobbed the cops er
wait hang on what if we marched with signs and changed what was on their minds
uhhhh that won't work it's disabled so they say wait hang on who said you
could poop your pants this is a combat scenario there's no time for fooling
around in her pants with the hand
... wait, what was I going on about?
oh yeah,
-- stack overflow --
anyway, as I was saying, [something completely unrelated]
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--- #179 fediverse/4853 ---
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┌────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: cursed-scary-mentioned │
└────────────────────────────┘
wanna know how to go underground?
just... don't leave your apartment. let your roommates take out your trash and
buy your groceries. don't open your windows and do nothing for as long as
possible.
hope you got lots of edibles... get in shape, will ya? don't waste the paper
in your journals.
not that I intend to do that or anything, but um. for the red states maybe?
use your best judgement yeah haha
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--- #180 fediverse/4554 ---
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┌──────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: political-violence-mentioned │
└──────────────────────────────────┘
can't fucking wait till we're done eating the rich and I can go back to a
simple life of playing with my cat, making video games, writing poetry (bad
poetry, but I like it) and hanging out with my friends.
gotta build the social infrastructure to get through this phase first, though.
something something echo chambers exist IRL too
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--- #181 fediverse/2336 ---
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I think I might stay out late tonight. For the past week I've been going home
before dark, but I might stay late tonight.
Tell your friends, maybe you'll see me. Preferably one-on-one, because social
media posts can be filtered both non-and-consentually.
Unless they're sleeping after having driven from a great long ways. They can
sleep. 🥰
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--- #182 fediverse/4642 ---
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i type too much, gtg to sleep.
my cat yells at me whenever the click-clack starts to bother her ears.
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--- #183 fediverse/459 ---
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You know, you can always ask me what the fuck I'm talking about. I am more
than willing to share, and I don't mind taking a moment or three to explain.
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--- #184 fediverse/6008 ---
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┌────────────────────────┐
│ CW: politics-mentioned │
└────────────────────────┘
why does nobody write bolshevik fanfiction where they were more [insert
characteristic here] and less [insert characteristic here]
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--- #185 fediverse/2487 ---
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┌───────────────────────────┐
│ CW: situational-awareness │
└───────────────────────────┘
do you know where the closest hospital is? grocery store? gas station? ATM?
can you find one in an unfamiliar area based on the patterns that cities are
typically laid out as?
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--- #186 messages/1163 ---
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why are we wasting our skyscrapers on offices? we have those at home! we could
do so much more with our open floor plans. there could be ports on the side
for drones to enter and leave. suddenly, factory forest trees.
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--- #187 fediverse/4528 ---
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┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: uspol │
└──────────────────────┘
@user-1695
never accept your own death
fight for every second of life, something something do not go quietly into
that grim dark
what the fuck are you supposed to do? Reading what you said got me pretty
fucking pissed - keep talking for a start, it helps, people need to be pissed.
I'm also broke as shit, don't know how I'm going to pay rent and eat, but
it'll get done.
Where do you live? Can other people help you? Medications are an
organizational problem, not an insurmountable barrier. We'll make it work.
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--- #188 fediverse/5185 ---
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frankly it makes a ton of sense to me that computer programmers would have a
game playing in the monitor. Gotta keep those brains active after all.
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--- #189 fediverse/3449 ---
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Hey. Are you bored on this lovely Saturday afternoon? Why not go and tidy up
your cable management? I know it's a rats nest but it's gotta get better
somehow.
ritz, it's Monday.
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--- #190 fediverse/3719 ---
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how many people could your apartment comfortably fit?
I got one desktop
one laptop desk
two on the couch
one in a comfy chair
one on the bed
and two outside on the porch
so (1 2 4 5) that's 5 indoors, 6 if they're familiar enough to lounge on my
bed, and 8 if we're allowed outside.
Could also pull the hammock and chair in from outside but it might get a
little cozy. Call it 8 or 9 depending on how close we are.
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--- #191 fediverse/5530 ---
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│ CW: cannabis-mentioned-communism-mentioned │
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I literally want two things in my life:
to be able to be high 24/7 without being inebriated and without suffering ill
effects unless I want them
communism
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--- #192 fediverse/1131 ---
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@user-850
true T.T I forgot about physical ailments. Was mostly thinking about
interpersonal relationships because that's what's on my mind rn in my life.
@user-5
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--- #193 fediverse/2104 ---
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@user-192
oooooo yeah I usually try and reply to my old post with any new information. I
never get the chance to think the same thoughts twice because when I was
younger I had problems with thought-loops where I'd think something like "darn
I could have handled that social situation better" and before you know it I'd
be rocking myself to sleep trying to stop thinking negative thoughts about
myself.
So I broke my brain a little and now I can't think the same thing more than
once, which is part of why it's so hard for me to finish projects. Alas.
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--- #194 fediverse/4804 ---
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I love it when wine doesn't work because it "failed to open program.exe"
... okay, can you tell me why it failed?
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--- #195 fediverse/5542 ---
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@user-1074
people crave diversity, and their yokes chafe them even as revolution draws
near. I doubt it'd be possible to constrain them to one set of procedures, no
matter how equitable.
Protocol, not procedure.
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--- #196 messages/904 ---
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if the devil gave you false paradise since birth,
why would you not seek to destroy it?
if an angel gave you an easy hell on earth,
why would you not seek to deface it?
if your ancestors put you on the path to success,
would you follow them and forever do the same?
if your family urged you to study rocket science,
would you bomb indescriminately?
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--- #197 fediverse/612 ---
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Look all I'm saying is if I had an acolyte or two then my insane ramblings
could be filtered and parsed by a real actual human instead of being copied
wholesale onto the internet, where the inconsequential or inconceivable ones
are left to rest alongside the gifts of knowledge from another realm.
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--- #198 fediverse/2111 ---
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when someone deletes what they were typing and starts over, that means they
have something more to share and you should try and figure out what it is with
questions.
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--- #199 fediverse/2324 ---
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│ CW: uspol │
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"fake your death"
no.
"leave the country"
no.
"go into hiding"
no.
"eat something why dont ya, you're skin and bones!"
yeah okay.
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--- #200 fediverse/4087 ---
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there's a whole class of things I miss doing but can no longer do because I am
not a child anymore.
Balancing the weight of the things we miss and the things we believe in is the
struggle of adulthood.
I yearn for the day I can set aside my teenage-ish toys, but alas, I am but
30. Scarcely a decade away from my teens. Which means I'll be stuck with them
for at least a decade more.
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