=== ANCHOR POEM ===
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 │ CW: trans-sex-and-sexuality-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────────────────────┘


 being post op basically feels like "what if your buttcheeks went all the way
 forward"
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=== SIMILARITY RANKED ===

--- #1 fediverse/1408 ---
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 being post-op is like "yay I can finally have sex!" but then you think "ehhh
 why bother, it's a lot of work"
 
 plus you gotta dilate
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--- #2 fediverse/2217 ---
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 I'm post-op, but you couldn't tell from my face. 😉
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--- #3 messages/1035 ---
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 Did you know I'm post-op trans hrt? It means i have a vagina castrated.
 Definitely a big girl, but no periods and injected.
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--- #4 fediverse/6408 ---
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 │ CW: NSFW-trans-surgery-mentioned │
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 I wonder how many people would get SRS to have a smaller penis
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--- #5 fediverse/5073 ---
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 │ CW: queer-sexuality-mentioned │
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 it's totally normal for post-op trans girls to prefer anal
 
 there's only one way to find out which you prefer...
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--- #6 messages/237 ---
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 The worst thing about being trans is our numbers are limited by biology, not
 philosophy.
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--- #7 fediverse/842 ---
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 @user-596 
 
 I transitioned in the USA in 2014 and I was lucky to live near an informed
 consent clinic. Two appointments and a hefty informational booklet and I had
 my prescription.
 
 I didn't want to talk to a therapist. So I didn't. Now I kinda wish I did, not
 because I wish I did something differently, but rather because I feel like it
 would have helped me understand what I was feeling.
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--- #8 fediverse/353 ---
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 │ CW: re: Trans yearning hrt-mentioned │
 └──────────────────────────────────────┘


 @user-255 
 
 sooooooon, all things in time. Someday you'll be like me - I can't even
 remember why I was so upset about that whole "dysphoria" thing. Like looking
 back it seems like a minor annoyance, but when I first came out it was all I
 could think about. Don't be jealous - just wait! It'll happen to you!
 Celebrate the euphoria, I also can't really remember that too well. I'm just
 normal now, minus my weekly shot.
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--- #9 fediverse/4101 ---
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 ┌───────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cursing-mentioned │
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 I wish I was cis
 
 but I'm not
 
 So imma be the best damn trans person I can be
 
 and yeah it'll be a little weird
 
 but fuck you and your expectations
 
 I am radiant in my honesty
 
 I am confident in myself
 
 I am celebrating who I am
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--- #10 messages/975 ---
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 trans women can be women and strong
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--- #11 fediverse/11 ---
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 ┌───────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: temporarily stopping HRT question │
 └───────────────────────────────────────┘


 @user-14 I've been on and off HRT multiple times a year for the past 10 years
 or so. It kinda sucks but it's also whatever. My boyfriend says I'm a
 completely different (sad) person when I'm off it but what can ya do - the
 laws surrounding pharmacies can suck a dick
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--- #12 messages/95 ---
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 Hooray, it's my [redacted]th hrt anniversary! I can never feel safe again
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--- #13 fediverse/3398 ---
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 ┌─────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: medical-srs-proprioceptive-abstractions │
 └─────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 *my hands and my toes are scared that I'm going to do SRS to them and I wish I
 knew how to better comfort them.*
 
 "it's not true! I would never do that to you."
 
 don't mean much. but...
 
 "there's no reason for me to do that with you - you are not comprised of
 erogenous zones which were originally built in a wrong
 [configuration/constitution]"
 
 are you saying I can be wrong?
 
 "no no not that just like, a continual part of our growth and development of
 our form."
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--- #14 fediverse/6314 ---
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 │ CW: re: scary-biomedical-cannabis-mentioned │
 └─────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 girl, estrogen. It's right there. Get a pink tooth every 6 months and never
 worry about injections again.
 
 "don't promise things if you can't promise to fulfill them"
 
 man I'm not promising anything, it's literally just a random thought idea.
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--- #15 messages/667 ---
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 Has anyone ever tried pills AND injections? They have different application
 rates.
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--- #16 fediverse/331 ---
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 │ CW: hrt-medical      │
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 HRT is hard. why do they have to make the needle so pointy?
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--- #17 fediverse/2169 ---
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 @user-570                                                                        │
 Ah, well, that time period for me was after I came out, so I was already past    │
 the fear of being seen.                                                          │
 I could only ever really get the "girl thoughts" to go away with, um,            │
 self-directed sexual attention, so I would often do so. Once every day, no       │
 more than once. But... often for hours at a time. It was a LOT, but I resisted   │
 as best I could, the only way I knew how, until eventually my internals would    │
 overcome.                                                                        │
 ... anyway "girl thoughts" were just "my thoughts" I was just too much of a      │
 dumbass to tell.                                                                 │
 Like, I knew I was trans, but *I didn't want that*, because it felt like *a      │
 flaw*. Because that's what I knew, that's what I'd heard, and that's how it      │
 felt, to be denied the consistency of biology and person.                        │
 I would never go back. I love who I am, and I think if I had met me I would      │
 have adored who I'd become.                                                      │
 I just... didn't think about the future much, hyper-vigilant much? Yeah.         │
 totally. I get it.                                                               │
 I've never overdone things. At least not to a dangerous degree. It's mostly      │
 just... stuff to me.                                                             │
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--- #18 fediverse/1090 ---
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 @user-800                                                                        │
 I knew I was trans from a young age. I felt attracted to women's clothes         │
 because I lived in a home with two sisters and a mother - my father was          │
 frequently away on business.                                                     │
 I guess I liked their clothes more. Or maybe I just wanted to fit in. But I      │
 found myself stealing them and wearing them when I was alone. Then I got         │
 older, and amongst all the other things I realized I wanted to be one of them.   │
 I knew what trans people were, sorta, but as soon as I moved to the city and     │
 got access to the internet the first thing I ever googled was "I want to be a    │
 girl" - really dating myself here I guess.                                       │
 anyway, I miss that part of the internet. Felt more simple and alive. As soon    │
 as their fancy websites made us intolerant of ugly ones, we kinda just...        │
 left? I mean, how much does it cost to host a text-file with all your html?      │
 Some pictures maybe? Who cares it was whatever.                                  │
 I miss forums the most, and while I could visit them... it's not the same,       │
 just as the next superbowl will not be the same as the last                      │
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--- #19 fediverse/3426 ---
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 ┌────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: death-of-a-family-member-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────────────────────┘


 my grandpa died. now I have none.
 
 I realized I miss old people. I miss their friendly culture.
 
 I realized I hadn't talked to him for a decade or so. He didn't know I
 transitioned.
 
 I wonder if he missed me. I realized he missed seeing who I became. Is it
 unfair of me to not give him the opportunity to know me? truly?
 
 ... I am quite different now than I was 10 years ago. He probably doesn't
 remember.
 
 I miss him, but I hardly knew him. I don't like that feeling.
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--- #20 fediverse/839 ---
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 @user-596 
 
 honestly... I'd just talk to a therapist for a couple sessions. Like, yeah,
 they put that rule there because they want you to be safe. And in 2010 we
 didn't "get" it as much as we do now, so it wasn't seen as something you could
 just do. It wasn't really a demographic question to them, it was more
 medicalized.
 
 frankly I kinda preferred it that way, like... yeah. I'm trans, there's
 something wrong with me, please fix it by giving me the right hormones. Boom,
 easy, done.
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--- #21 fediverse/4636 ---
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 ummmmm yeah the reason I went off hormones 5 weeks ago is *totally* because I
 want to test low so that they bump up my prescription so I can stockpile.
 Totally not because I executive dysfunctioned my way into this mess. *again*.
 Almost as if it doesn't happen 3 or 4 times per year -.-
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--- #22 fediverse/1447 ---
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 the gay urge to hang out with men
 
 the lesbian urge to hang out with women
 
 the trans urge to see other trans people naked
 
 ... I mean, uh... I'm perfectly normal and reasonable look at me being a
 massive qt
 
 ... the queer urge to find your people
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--- #23 fediverse/1311 ---
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 take care of your trans brothers and sisters
 
 we're pretty badass but like 90% of us are traumatized and that sucks. BUT
 we're good in a pinch and about 66% of us know how to fight, which is pretty
 cool I guess.
 
 ... I'm also describing catgirls, aren't I
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--- #24 messages/406 ---
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 On one hand, trans people make great spies because we've been acting all our
 lives (pre-transition but post-realization)
 
 On the other hand, our bodies have been physically changed by HRT so it's not
 like we can spy on our enemies -.-
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--- #25 fediverse/48 ---
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 │ CW: re: Bottom surgery woes │
 └─────────────────────────────┘


 @user-42 I had complications with my surgery. I wouldn't recommend it if you
 are likely to have a complicated surgery. I'm sorry :(
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--- #26 fediverse/3440 ---
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 @user-192 @user-763 
 
 omg who is that and why do I have gender envy
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--- #27 fediverse/5330 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────────────────┐                                             │
 │ CW: personal-sexuality-mentioned │                                             │
 └──────────────────────────────────┘                                             │
 I used to be aroused at the thought of being a girl. I would read stories and    │
 look at pictures of penises turning into vaginas and men turning into women      │
 and it would fill me with longing, yearning, and despair at my circumstances.    │
 then, I transitioned, got SRS, and now I don't get aroused at the thought of     │
 such things. It's just part of who I am.                                         │
 I used to be aroused at the thought of wearing diapers. I would read stories     │
 and play games of people being cursed by witches to pee their pants, or people   │
 who were stuck at a movie theater and couldn't make it in time or whatever.      │
 These things would fill me with longing, yearning, and despair.                  │
 Plus, I had some medical issues that made me lose track of my... um,             │
 "currently utilized waste storage capacity" inside my body. which put me in      │
 some unfortunate situations *right around the time when my sexuality was         │
 developing*.                                                                     │
 Now, I wear diapers all the time. I don't get aroused at the thought of such     │
 things anymore. It's just me, as I am.                                           │
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--- #28 fediverse/2727 ---
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 @user-1331 
 
 it would be SO nice to be able to scan my brain and know what gender I am.
 It's confusing up there!
 
 when I said something similar on Reddit tho people called me "truscum" and
 "transmedicalist" >.>
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--- #29 fediverse/3056 ---
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 whenever I meet a bigot I just assume they're soooooo far in the closet that
 they keep getting banished from Narnia and need to come here to complain
 
 like... girl I know you look like a boy, and I know that you're pissed about
 that, but don't take it out on us lmao
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--- #30 fediverse/1406 ---
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 the more cute people I meet on this website the more I realize that I'm not      │
 interesting, I'm just more interesting than the people I know. Big fish in a     │
 small pond is still big, and it's good knowing that you got people around.       │
 for much of the past, trans people were sorta... underground. Reddit was one     │
 of the first places where they could really be themselves because of the         │
 combination of anonymity and social media interactivity.                         │
 there's this old meme from teh early days of Reddit that goes like this:         │
 Everyone is a bot on Reddit except for you.                                      │
 There's this other meme where some guy makes a post that's like "help I          │
 accidentally switched my phone to Japanese and now I can't navigate through      │
 the menu options to fix it!" and everyone in the replies all speak back in       │
 perfect japanese                                                                 │
 I also heard that the US government allocates enough resources such that their   │
 private engineering departments are always about 10-15 years ahead of the        │
 civilian (and by extension, international) sector. When did chatGPT happen?      │
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--- #31 fediverse/2172 ---
 image.png
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 @user-570 
 
 I mostly spent my time on Reddit, which was much more isolating than IRC. I
 think I must have been drawn there because it felt like home - I was
 homeschooled on a farm, and Reddit kept me at the distance of an arm.
 
 it's funny, sometimes meeting a trans girl can make things "click". And
 sometimes being friends with one helps you work through things that you just
 can't tick
 
 [off your list of things to work on]
 
 habits you can kick? idk sometimes rhyming lies, and you have to break rhythm
 or pentameter or whatever.
 
 anyway I've always worn pants. I do dresses on special occasions, but dresses
 are hard(er) to ride a bike in. Plus, no pockets, and purses are easily
 stolen. At least with a pocket you can feel someone slip the exact same model
 as your phone into your pocket when you're least expecting.
 
 ... hypervigilance strikes again...
 
 I first transitioned in... 2014ish? I think? I don't really remember because I
 had so many more interesting things going on.
And the people around me were always more intersting to me than me.
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--- #32 fediverse/4563 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: transgender-politics-mentioned-cursing-mentioned │
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 My first name is a masculine name. I go by a different name.
 
 I'm not legally changing my name because I'm fucking stupid, and I believe
 that if anyone would die, so must I. Death before detransition.
 
 It's how I motivate myself. Fuck off if you disagree. (oops cursing mentioned
 brb)
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--- #33 fediverse_boost/362 ---
◀═[BOOST] ┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐  External post: https://transfem.social/notes/a9nf9bi5nxso10vg             └──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘                                                         similar                      chronological                       different─▶