=== ANCHOR POEM ===
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┌───────────────────────┐
│ CW: cursing-mentioned │
└───────────────────────┘
I wish I was cis
but I'm not
So imma be the best damn trans person I can be
and yeah it'll be a little weird
but fuck you and your expectations
I am radiant in my honesty
I am confident in myself
I am celebrating who I am
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=== SIMILARITY RANKED ===
--- #1 fediverse/4661 ---
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┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: cursed-scary-ghost-posting-politics-genocide-gestured-at-cursing-mentioned │
└──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
what if we took an archive of all of fedi and fed it to users who are hiding
in bunkers or whatever one day at a time so they could still feel like they're
part of society while
---- so ----
I think I should stop ya right there, if there's bunkers involved then we've
already lost. "but muh transgender artifacts" fuck off, I will not concede. If
society wants me to leave, then they can enjoy their dusty rotten future
without me. See if I care.
---- so ----
hence, the curse. do you punish humans for the sins they commit, or do you
teach them how to be good again? Bah, as if they'd listen. Stupid fucking apes.
they're the best we got
yeah, well, they can fuck off, I'm gonna pout for at least half an eternity.
... Okay it won't be that long but still, gimme some time to wind down.
---- so ----
and no, I refuse to elaborate for all the humans in the audience. This
conversation may or may not have actually occurred. Monologue style
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--- #2 fediverse/6200 ---
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┌───────────────────────┐
│ CW: cursing-mentioned │
└───────────────────────┘
trans people aren't allowed to go to florida now because mean people don't
want them on beaches where everyone's being sexy and disneyworld where they
keep all their children's treasured memories
and it's like fuck off I earned to be who I am as you see, I'll be as I damned
please in whoever's memories I decree.
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--- #3 fediverse/3238 ---
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┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: personal-health │
└──────────────────────┘
I'm not an ABDL, but I can appreciate the aesthetic sometimes because I share
a particular kinship with them due to a medical condition I have and have had.
Plus throw in a bit of Body Integrity Identity Dysmorphia and you get my
messed up relationship to my own physical struggles.
ah, well, what can you do except be open and honest about who you are and what
you believe? If only it wasn't so damn hard.
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--- #4 fediverse/5853 ---
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everyone's all like "everything sucks" but I'm feeling confidence and a kind
of... externalized vigor? that's sweeping me off my feet. We'll see what
tomorrow brings, in the general sense.
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--- #5 fediverse/4103 ---
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@user-246
I prefer just plain old "trans" and "cis" because then I can pretend "trans"
stands for "transcendental" and hell yeah I'd rather transcend gender than
transition through it
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--- #6 fediverse/1061 ---
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┌────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: violence-cursing-mentioned │
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Fuck, I wish I was a man. Stupid transgender brain quirks making me feel like
I was a girl. Boys can punch things much easier than me. Oh to inject
estrogen! How soft mine skin, how delicate my mammaries - and yet fucking hell
all I want to do is punch things. Maybe it's just because things deserve to be
punched, or maybe it's because I'm listening to Green Day.
If it weren't so late I'd make some angsty music or whatever.
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--- #7 fediverse/4563 ---
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┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: transgender-politics-mentioned-cursing-mentioned │
└──────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
My first name is a masculine name. I go by a different name.
I'm not legally changing my name because I'm fucking stupid, and I believe
that if anyone would die, so must I. Death before detransition.
It's how I motivate myself. Fuck off if you disagree. (oops cursing mentioned
brb)
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--- #8 fediverse/1944 ---
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║ ┌─────────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: sexuality-mentioned │ │
║ └─────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ it's not wrong to be turned on by the thought of being the gender youre │
║ transitioning to. Your subconscious mind is yearning for a healthy sexuality, │
║ nothing more. │
║ │
║ and if you aren't, if you're into "other people" like a weirdo, then yeah sure │
║ what I described probably sounds pretty weird. Oh and it's cool if you aren't │
║ sexually attracted to anyone either. Sometimes being ace is a phase because │
║ sex doesn't really fit into your life, and other times it's more something │
║ that defines you. It is the progenitor of all genders and sexualities that │
║ fluctuate, because it's based on the simplest binary of "yes sexual │
║ attraction" or "no sexual attraction" - with some extra variables to tweak │
║ like "sex positive/negative" or "cuddle-starved/cuddle-slut" type of ranges. │
║ │
║ ... anyway sexuality is weird and if yours made sense then so would that guy, │
║ and that person over there, and the person who lives down the street, and the │
║ other who lives in a blimp and jacks off into the sky calling it "bird poop" │
║ │
║ uh │
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--- #9 fediverse/4519 ---
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me, a transfemme: "yeah being a boy is kinda nice sometimes"
huh, guess I'm genderfluid for now
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--- #10 fediverse/353 ---
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┌──────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: Trans yearning hrt-mentioned │
└──────────────────────────────────────┘
@user-255
sooooooon, all things in time. Someday you'll be like me - I can't even
remember why I was so upset about that whole "dysphoria" thing. Like looking
back it seems like a minor annoyance, but when I first came out it was all I
could think about. Don't be jealous - just wait! It'll happen to you!
Celebrate the euphoria, I also can't really remember that too well. I'm just
normal now, minus my weekly shot.
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--- #11 fediverse/2518 ---
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it's good to be ethical,
it's good to be kind,
but there will always be assholes,
and sometimes you're not having a good time
it's okay
it's fine
assholes deserve life
times deserve others to be kind
life is not always interesting
and that's often by design
the moments of clarity,
the moments of heart,
these are what define you
and display your own spark.
trust in yourself.
be kind to one another.
you are braver than you know,
and always a bit wiser.
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--- #12 fediverse/1399 ---
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║ ┌───────────────────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: cursing-mentioned-eye-contact │ │
║ └───────────────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ If you're worried about passing, take what you're good at and make it gay. │
║ │
║ Do you wear band t-shirts and black jeans? Great you're an emo girl now, │
║ totally reasonable transitionary state before you end up as a cute anime girl │
║ with spinny uwu dresses or whatever your heart desires │
║ │
║ do you generally stick to jeans and sweatshirts? Okay congrats you're just as │
║ cute, don't feel inadequate just because you like being comfy. Hell yeah │
║ you're cute as fuck, you know you are, I mean just look at that smile! Wow damn │
║ │
║ like, switch the gender, not the vibe. not only will other people be cool with │
║ it but also, like, you won't alter the course of your trajectory. │
║ │
║ unless that's what you want, but TBH if you're both enigmatic AND phlegmatic │
║ [EDIT: but like the opposite of phlegmatic, I always get the definition wrong] │
║ then you can change a lot and people won't rely on you to be a certain way. │
║ │
║ ... you know you can delete things before you post them, right? Ha I've never │
║ even heard of the word. │
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--- #13 fediverse/2523 ---
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I just want to stress that most people know more than me
slept on my back. had a good dream. gonna shut the fuck up for a bit and see
what ya'll get up to. ;) 😉
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--- #14 fediverse/3398 ---
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┌─────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: medical-srs-proprioceptive-abstractions │
└─────────────────────────────────────────────┘
my hands and my toes are scared that I'm going to do SRS to them and I wish I
knew how to better comfort them.
"it's not true! I would never do that to you."
don't mean much. but...
"there's no reason for me to do that with you - you are not comprised of
erogenous zones which were originally built in a wrong
[configuration/constitution]"
are you saying I can be wrong?
"no no not that just like, a continual part of our growth and development of
our form."
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--- #15 fediverse/2386 ---
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Tee, hee, look at me, I'm a witch who writes nothing but kookie-dookerie
I pee my pants and stare at trees, what's less harmful than little old me?
The best smokescreen I can think of is to be true to your heart, to be weak,
to be vulnerable. Then you get put on the "worry about later" list, and not
the other kind.
I never lie. When convinced I am wrong, I change my mind. I am always
listening, always ready to hear where I'm flawed. I do my best every day, and
that's enough for me.
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--- #16 fediverse/1082 ---
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┌─────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: mental-health-cursing-mentioned │
└─────────────────────────────────────┘
damn, I'm a pretty cool person. I wish I could hang out with me. Like, for all
my flaws (what even are they ? ? ?) I'm still pretty awesome. I'm proud of me!
Thank you parents, for raising me as such! Thank you past me, for making the
decisions that you did! Also, fuck you past self, for making those OTHER
decisions. You know the ones I'm talking about. No, that's not an excuse, it's
all your fault and you're awful and everything about you sucks.
Wait, hang on, wasn't I feeling happy to be here? Wasn't I just excited to
live in the moment? Wasn't I just thinking about how:
"all you have are good things, nothing here is bad"
? ? ?
well, I still love you, even if you're a little "all over the place". [rereads
post] hell yeah you ARE a cool person, yes you are, such a good cool person,
yes yes yes, what a good girl you are oh my goodness :D :D :D
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--- #17 fediverse/3982 ---
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I am always trying to be helpful. at all times am I trying to teach. that can
get real fuckin annoying sometimes.
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--- #18 fediverse/3518 ---
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As long as it happens, I don't need to be in charge.
In fact I'd prefer it otherwise.
it's going to happen anyway. Wouldn't you rather be a leader?
no I fucking wouldn't. I'd rather someone else do it. Why the fuck would I
want that, power? control? the very things you swear to relinquish and
dismantle.
yeah. too bad you can't fucking dismantle something you've already
relinquished.
true.
... and no, I wouldn't want to be in charge. no THANK you.
... but if it wouldn't happen without me, then yeah I'll be there for you.
Just ask if you need me.
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--- #19 fediverse/4572 ---
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goodnight,
people-who-all-agree-with-me-but-who-I-still-rant-to-anyway-because-I'm-full-of
-rage, talk to you tomorrow. or whenever.
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--- #20 fediverse/2727 ---
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@user-1331
it would be SO nice to be able to scan my brain and know what gender I am.
It's confusing up there!
when I said something similar on Reddit tho people called me "truscum" and
"transmedicalist" >.>
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--- #21 messages/525 ---
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Why do I keep dreaming of embarrassing myself in combat situations?
Oh yeah, because all my paladins need me, and I'm a fucking baby. What did I
do to deserve this upon them. How could they learn from me? There is nothing
for me to be. I am ashamed of myself.
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--- #22 fediverse/1950 ---
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I honestly don't care if someone deadnames me, or calls me the wrong pronouns,
or forgets to put me in the girl section, or asks me to sing baritone
like... I don't give a shit, why are you so worried about all this vapid
nonsense like yeah I get it, being disrespected sucks but like... why do you
want the kind of respect that is a forced platitude
we could all do with being a bit more radical, it's not a race and everyone's
roles are important. Be yourself, and follow people you want to be like.
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--- #23 messages/1207 ---
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I'm proud of my parent's generation for having a good lifetime. The end is
getting a little weird, but we're working on it. It'll get better soon.
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--- #24 fediverse/5336 ---
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┌──────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: cursing-mentioned-violence-mentioned │
└──────────────────────────────────────────┘
I will forgive anyone for anything. But if you break my heart again I will
hate you forever. and if you hurt someone I care about I will fuck you up.
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--- #25 fediverse/1295 ---
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┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: Mh- │
└──────────────────────┘
@user-889
my boyfriend gets like, 2 social spoons to spend per day. He usually uses them
on work because meetings and such.
On the other hand, I'm excitable and passionate. I'm constantly driven to
share things I find or think about. If you go on a walk with me without my
mask I'll spend the whole time showing you pretty pieces of moss and stones.
I usually message him once or twice per day. If the first one isn't responded
then maybe he just wasn't interested in the thing I showed him - the second
time he's probably burnt out.
It fucking hurts.
but I'm fine, clearly I'm fine, anyone who looks at me knows I'm fine
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--- #26 fediverse/169 ---
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@user-95 one of the most empathetic people I ever met on VR chat was consoling
me with their mic off while I was oversharing about some stupid things people
did to me in the past. things that stupid me thought were okay and actively
encouraged because I was stupid. anyway when their mic was off their body
language spoke for them. I'll try that next time.
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--- #27 fediverse/2169 ---
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@user-570
Ah, well, that time period for me was after I came out, so I was already past
the fear of being seen.
I could only ever really get the "girl thoughts" to go away with, um,
self-directed sexual attention, so I would often do so. Once every day, no
more than once. But... often for hours at a time. It was a LOT, but I resisted
as best I could, the only way I knew how, until eventually my internals would
overcome.
... anyway "girl thoughts" were just "my thoughts" I was just too much of a
dumbass to tell.
Like, I knew I was trans, but I didn't want that, because it felt like a flaw.
Because that's what I knew, that's what I'd heard, and that's how it felt, to
be denied the consistency of biology and person.
I would never go back. I love who I am, and I think if I had met me I would
have adored who I'd become.
I just... didn't think about the future much, hyper-vigilant much? Yeah.
totally. I get it.
I've never overdone things. At least not to a dangerous degree. It's mostly
just... stuff to me.
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--- #28 fediverse/5742 ---
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┌────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: spirituality-mentioned │
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look all I'm saying is that if I was the antichrist or satan or something
wouldn't I know it? I feel like it'd feel elementally true or something. But
I'm not I'm just imperfect and prolific. And boy does that imperfection love
to display itself.
"wow so honest, wow so genuine, can we just fuckin' kill these bastards
already"
slooooooow down, we got time, for every feeling of impending victory there's
like a thousand more feelings of dread. It's okay we just gotta get the
victory [emotions of belief, but pronounced prayers] in alignment and then
things will start working out.
hence, níké featherflame citrine.
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--- #29 messages/519 ---
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I am currently in the stages of applying to work at a multinational
corporation primarily located outside of America. It is a respectable
institution that commands great respect.
However, I am borderline incapable. If I am chosen to work there, I *will*
fail and I *will* embarrass America on the world stage. I am not one of our
best, nor am I one of our brightest and boldest. I have *unique* perspectives,
and those are *valuable*, but the society and the systems I find myself in has
proven incapable of utilizing me to my utmost potential.
I must work. I cannot work. But I must. I am disabled. But I must be able.
Capitalism compels it.
Would that our system could be something consensual. I am worth more as a
writer than a laborer. Yet laborers are the only ones being hired.
I am not an engineer. I enjoy engineering.
I am not a laborer. I enjoy labor.
I am a writer, and perhaps little else besides.
When I die, nothing remains of me but my bones. My words are not desired. My
life is not impactful. I am not special.
Well... Not special since I have given up cannabis. If I started smoking weed,
if I felt secure and enough to do so, perhaps I might utilize my instability
for great (GREAT) artistic ends.
But art is labor. And labor is difficult.
Where am I to go from here? I cannot pay rent. I am isolated and alone. I am
deprived of affection. I crave it. I am lost in my own heart, begging the
world to give me a start, but the start has passed long ago. There is nothing
to do but what I've been meant to do, what I've been hiding from myself and
the world. I have been wasting my talent on tweets. How mundane.
... I can do better than profane.
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--- #30 fediverse/5122 ---
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Youtube removed my youtube channel because I showed my boobs in one video in
an artistic and non-sexually gratifying way.
do... do people hate me? Am I meant to be lost? Is it better to lose beauty
than haunt the future forevermore? who can say.
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--- #31 notes/family ---
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family is a group of people who you can always go with your first impression
with.
what the fuck was I saying - oh yeah - so when you are alive in the present in
a
singular moment, your pressence is comprised of simultaneous directives and
instructions to the matter which comprises you. I'm saying you have to make
decisions and react to stimuli and pursue the things you want. Basic biology
really.
stay on target, stayyyyy on targett - oh right so generally when you react to
things you generate a list of informations gained. what does that even mean
okay
so here's a better way to describe it: it's like a list of informations - fuck
listen i'm not trying to be rambly it just comes with the territory.
okay so family is when you can react with your gut instinct - you are fully
relaxed and yourself. It's where you can be trusting and unguided and simply
relax and be free. it's just... like... being close with someone enough that
you
can be yourself around them. without any mask, without any pretense.
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--- #32 fediverse/4559 ---
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┌───────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: politics-mentioned-violence-mentioned │
└───────────────────────────────────────────┘
"grrrrr I'm so mad, I could just, I dunno, shoot a CEO as he's leaving a hotel"
or, hear me out, or you could connect with your local radical networks and,
or, almost there, or you could build solidarity with the people around you to
better develop methods of resisting the kinds of change they will implement
to, um, "discourage" people from "being so mad they could just"
or both. both is good. not that I'm encouraging, recommending, or inciting
that kind of violence. don't notice me three-letter senpai uwu
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--- #33 fediverse/1042 ---
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┌─────────────────────────┐
│ CW: personal-vent-sorry │
└─────────────────────────┘
"your feelings are valid, but have you considered that your feelings aren't
actually valid because you're always wrong and nobody should ever apologize to
you for anything because you suck and are wrong?"
also,
"my six digit salary isn't enough to pay for your rice and beans, but I won't
have you eating sticks and mud, so do things you don't want to do because I
said so."
also,
"I don't really "get" your art but that doesn't mean I should ever really try
reading it. Also god forbid I actually ask for clarification like "what does
that part mean" because I'm not actually that interested in you I just want a
stable household so I never get traumatized again like [their childhood]"
also,
"yes I love you but no I don't want to play with you. you're such a cat."
also,
"every time you start making sense I'm going to try and derail the
conversation so that we don't talk about kooky-dookerie because that's a
conversation I can't win"
also,
sorry for venting. I mean, thanks for listeni
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
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--- #34 fediverse/4738 ---
╔════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────┐
║ ┌─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: revolutionary-politics-mentioned-swearing-mentioned │ │
║ └─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ you said you wanted a revolution, and, well, I could not be more proud of you. │
║ It's actually getting done and if I stop and think about it I'm kind of │
║ amazed. Never thought I'd see this kind of change so quickly. │
║ │
║ "what change? I see nothing substantially different" │
║ │
║ oh yeah well do you go outside often │
║ │
║ do you hang out in the park │
║ │
║ I know it's fuckin' january and it's cold as heck (ah nuts swearing mentioned │
║ one sec) but homeless people have to LIVE in that weather so like... wear │
║ layers, spend time outside, detox from dopamine, write poetry and tear it out │
║ and leave it on a park bench, be loud, claim the space, it's yours, that's │
║ what it's there for. │
║ │
║ I see it in your eyes. I see it in the random notes I find on the sidewalk. │
║ Everyone says "make friends, find community" and I say "commune with a │
║ stranger" but I'm also a witch and that's a pretty witchy thing to do. │
║ │
║ ... Really fuckin' wish we still had payphones (ah nuts swearing mentioned - │
║ oh already CWd) │
╟─────────┐ ┌───────────┤
║ similar │ chronological │ different │
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--- #35 messages/747 ---
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if you don't want to be hunted, then give "evil" it's own queer culture
what's that? they don't like what you offered? they want it to be *their* kind
of "evil"?
fine, do it themselves and then leave us alone, jeez -.-
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
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--- #36 fediverse/1303 ---
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┌───────────────────────┐
│ CW: cursing-mentioned │
└───────────────────────┘
@user-192
normality?
banality?
errrrr I mean emotional disregulation and low self esteem?
... it's easier in person when you can see when everyone has the "yo what the
fuck" look on their face and when they have the "wait what was that I was
thinking about snails" face
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--- #37 fediverse/3296 ---
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┌───────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: medical cartoon of genitals, lewd │
└───────────────────────────────────────────┘
@user-192
I loved anatomy textbooks because they gave me an abstraction of things that I
could touch and feel
I learned to project my trans-girl [target-of-gender-euphoria] thoughts onto
the mental model I had constructed of how it all worked. It helped me
conceptualize how humans are configured.
I also had bladder issues growing up so I liked to conceptualize that
structure too
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
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--- #38 fediverse/4495 ---
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┌───────────────────────┐
│ CW: cursing-mentioned │
└───────────────────────┘
I tripped onto the light rail tracks today while a train was near
I can't believe how fucking useless I am
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
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--- #39 fediverse/6437 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────
if I was writing a programming language, I'd name it C just to fuck with people
(great, now others can decide how it's known)
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--- #40 fediverse/5095 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────
"but the trans people don't even have any silver to steal! they have nothing
to worry about."
- said the someone who has a different threat model than me
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────┘
--- #41 fediverse/1381 ---
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┌────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: death-mentioned-nuts-mentioned │
└────────────────────────────────────┘
I'm a bit of a narcissist because I had a lot of... alone time as a kid, and I
was a bit starved for attention.
but I'm also afraid of rejection so if you have anything to say I'll listen
for hours and try to be what you need me to be and give what you need me to
give so that you don't leave me.
Also, nobody has ever hurt me. And so I trust wholely and completely and
absolutely. I get logically why that's not a good move but frankly I'd rather
die than be cooperative. ah nuts better add a content warning.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────┘
--- #42 fediverse_boost/4434 ---
◀─╔════════════════════════[BOOST]══════════════════════════─────────────────────╗
║ ┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐ ║
║ │ if you are like "i am calm and focused in my anger" that's fine we can work with that │ ║
║ └────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ ║
╠─────────┐ ┌───────────╣
║ similar │ chronological │ different ║
╚═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────┴───────╝─▶
--- #43 fediverse/3683 ---
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┌───────────────────────┐
│ CW: cursing-mentioned │
└───────────────────────┘
"your hat makes you look like a fucking nazgul"
hell yeah it does. I'm a witch what the fuck did you think I was going for??
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #44 fediverse/2843 ---
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┌───────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: yelling-scary │
└───────────────────────┘
@user-1074 @user-1209
"we still have slaves, we just enslave mexicans instead of blacks."
"don't forget all the offshored jobs, those too"
"oh yeah and all our stuff is made by slaves in the far east"
"yeah but like fuck them right who cares they're so far away"
"yeah bro totes"
"anyway what do you want for dinner bro"
"i dunno bro I had chinese last night"
"cool cool so mexican then? I know this great paraguanese place"
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────┘
--- #45 fediverse/1666 ---
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┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: protests, politics, dogwhistles, cursing mentioned │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
@user-1037
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sb9_qGOa9Go
idk I think riots are good actually, that's always been my position. like,
they're bad because they're break stuff, but they're good because they get the
message across. "don't fuck with us. give us what we need."
haven't been to a protest in a while tho, ever since moving where I am now.
I'm currently of the mind that protests are great for meeting people to work
with, and I don't know anyone...
I guess I'm just not very trusting of strangers, but if I know you then I'm
100% open and honest and I'll do anything you need me to. I like being helpful
to everyone around me but I don't know what to do when I'm terrified of hidden
enemies.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
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--- #46 fediverse/2173 ---
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┌───────────────────────┐
│ CW: cursing-mentioned │
└───────────────────────┘
bro I get that you're tired and burnt out but like, why the fuck do you care
about anything else [oh shit cursing mentioned better put a content warning
because people can't handle things]
[I say this with affection because we're on the same side] [also it's rude,
sorry]
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
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--- #47 fediverse/4098 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
┌────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: politics-mentioned-ableism │
└────────────────────────────────┘
ngl I kinda hate it when people meme about donald trump being incontinent
like, yeah, he pees his pants, so what? I DO TOO. Fucking sucks. Every time I
read people saying nasty things about it I can't help but read them in my own
voice, and that gives me plenty of ammunition to use against myself when I'm
feeling down.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────┘
--- #48 fediverse_boost/2964 ---
◀─╔══════════════════════[BOOST]═══════════════════════──────────────────────────╗
║ ┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐ ║
║ │ Feeling a vibe shift toward the left embracing mom energy and relinquishing our fear of cringe, and can I just say not a fucking moment too soon │ ║
║ └────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ ║
╠─────────┐ ┌───────────╣
║ similar │ chronological │ different ║
╚═════════╧══════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────┴───────╝─▶
--- #49 fediverse/2697 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
@user-1322
my god is kind.
I am the resentful one, and I spite only myself.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
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--- #50 fediverse/1447 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────
the gay urge to hang out with men
the lesbian urge to hang out with women
the trans urge to see other trans people naked
... I mean, uh... I'm perfectly normal and reasonable look at me being a
massive qt
... the queer urge to find your people
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #51 fediverse/972 ---
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for those who live forever in our transhumanist reality, I wonder what's next
beyond transgender transition? transcendence of social norms is a skill, not a
habit. Queer is a rejection of normalcy, something that is actively done.
What's more normal than never having any fun? Clearly "normal" isn't built for
the human condition, clearly "normalcy" is shallow and been done.
considering the amount of people who are really into some culture like
"anime-cons" or "baseball watcher" or "golfer" or "other such hobbys like
fishing or guns"
... normal never existed, it's just a collection of personalities (developed
throughout the history of humanity) that collectively seem to be fun.
"if transitioning is to gender as blossoming is to [the concept of] flowers,
then what is the concept of global warming to the earth we stand on?"
I'm kind of a witch. I'm not really femme, so I don't feel right calling
myself one of them, but I'm something of the sort. I use "she/her" pronouns
because they reflect my softness of c
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #52 fediverse/4536 ---
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┌──────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: politics-mentioned-cursing-mentioned │
└──────────────────────────────────────────┘
the USA is fed by undocumented immigrants who have no other options. I won't
go into which kind of slavery it is, but you can figure it out yourself.
If those workers are deported (or worse), the USA suddenly becomes
significantly closer to famine.
We need them. We need to pay them fairly, obviously, but in a purely selfish
way we need them in order to eat
and he fucking knows that.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #53 fediverse/3833 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────
there's no such thing as me
all I am is where the wind takes me
I am just a person, and I do all that I can
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #54 messages/976 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────
so can cis women but... mysoginy says female is soft. it's an inversion of
that, which is totally allowed. therefore, it should be done, at times when
it's placed and focused - right... okay back to the noun: trans women are
allowed to be strong. it's not masculine to be strong. have no fear, you are
as you are here. I've shown you that you are of mine and beloved, what more
would you ask of a war-leader in dis[place/guise]? princess of sevastavan
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #55 messages/643 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
I'm not here to convince you. If you're reading this, odds are we already
agree.
I'm here to give you memetic weapons to use when convincing *liberals* to wake
the fuck up and check the time.
Don't fucking talk to conservatives anymore. Unless you got a thing going and
you're close to deradicalizing / converting them already. It's not worth it
anymore, and I fear for their souls, but we need to focus on building a
bedrock of support rather than wasting compassion on our enemies-to-be.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #56 fediverse/4768 ---
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┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: pol+ │
└──────────────────────┘
the more they have to do to make us declare war, the worse it'll be for their
citizenry. So long as the citizenry believes they're better, and everything we
can do to convince them otherwise weakens their media weather.
who cares about trans executive orders. they are our enemy, what else is new?
they have power now, and they will try what they can. This is like taking the
internet away from chinese citizens and instituting a national intranet
instead. Like, okay, we won't be able to get estrogen from the store. Who
cares? We'll just make our own.
If people actually care about us, which they overwhelmingly do, there's very
little materially they can do.
until they're further down the "first they came for..." list. then they'll
come for us liberals, and gosh wouldn't that just be the worst. Who is there
to contest them? What valorous warriors indeed.
you're asking for mountains from a mole. have peace, have patience, let your
allies intercede. This kind of thing requires discusion to protect life
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #57 fediverse/3773 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────
┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: personal-medical-health-mentioned-cannabis-mentioned │
└──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
no adhd meds, but yes different antipsychotic
he made a very convincing argument that consisted primarily of "why don't we
try a different type of the same thing" yeah that makes sense
also he seemed quite happy that I quit cannabis for a while. I guess he's
working for THEM lol
(who's them?)
of course, the ones who want to keep me from my DIVINE DESTINY or whatever.
Airquotes. ugh I need to get over myself, it's just fucking weed, right?
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #58 fediverse/2827 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
you don't have to listen to me
I am just talking to myself.
shouting into the wind.
why are you shouting, little one?
because it's LOUD out here.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #59 fediverse/3809 ---
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┌────────────────────────┐
│ CW: violence-mentioned │
└────────────────────────┘
"Ritz, we love you, but you're fucking stupid, so we're gonna have to break
your legs now."
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
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--- #60 fediverse/903 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────
the tree of life is a geyser of time cast out onto our bones through an
endlessly complicating pile of matter. I am beautiful, I am perfect, and so
are you.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #61 fediverse/459 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
You know, you can always ask me what the fuck I'm talking about. I am more
than willing to share, and I don't mind taking a moment or three to explain.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────┘
--- #62 fediverse/3652 ---
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┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: lewd-nsfw │
└──────────────────────┘
my favorite position is doggy style because of course I want to be mounted
like that drive you keep forgetting to add to your fstab
you're supposed to gesture at "the bond between a man and his horse" or
something to that effect
men shouldn't fuck horses just saying
first of all the horse would fucking kick them in the balls or break their
knees
second they're way too tall so you'd have to find a stool and that's just like
a lot of effort
third like... no thank you please, get out of my head stupid thoughts I want
to think about being degraded and horses are too noble for degradation
what the fuck are you even talking about
... yeah. sometimes it do be like that tho...
"I came here for kink and horny but I left with confusion"
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #63 fediverse/5330 ---
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┌──────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: personal-sexuality-mentioned │
└──────────────────────────────────┘
I used to be aroused at the thought of being a girl. I would read stories and
look at pictures of penises turning into vaginas and men turning into women
and it would fill me with longing, yearning, and despair at my circumstances.
then, I transitioned, got SRS, and now I don't get aroused at the thought of
such things. It's just part of who I am.
I used to be aroused at the thought of wearing diapers. I would read stories
and play games of people being cursed by witches to pee their pants, or people
who were stuck at a movie theater and couldn't make it in time or whatever.
These things would fill me with longing, yearning, and despair.
Plus, I had some medical issues that made me lose track of my... um,
"currently utilized waste storage capacity" inside my body. which put me in
some unfortunate situations right around the time when my sexuality was
developing.
Now, I wear diapers all the time. I don't get aroused at the thought of such
things anymore. It's just me, as I am.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #64 fediverse/304 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────
shout out to all the people who think being cringe is a personality flaw and
not an opportunity for growth
ya'll suck and make life difficult in exchange for a brief moment where you
can savor a feeling of superiority over someone who's living their best life
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────┘
--- #65 fediverse/6113 ---
╔════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────┐
║ I think fursuits should be considered gender-affirming care and should be │
║ covered by insurance │
║ │
║ "the government issued suits are okay, but there's like a million of them so │
║ if you wanna be boring catratfoxfolkmix then sure go for it. If you wanna get │
║ the real personalization you gotta invest a bit of time and money but the │
║ result is totally worth it. plus if you build it modular style you can change │
║ parts out like if you're going to the movies you wanna wear a top hat and │
║ suit, and if you're going to the washing machine store to watch the clothes go │
║ slosh then you wanna wear swim trunks and a bikini" │
║ │
║ okay I don't know about the modular stuff I'm not a furry they can do what │
║ they want BUT I've talked to enough therians in my time to know that they are │
║ HAPPIER by FAR when they are expressing themselves coherently instead of │
║ trying to filter their experience through this weird sieve called society that │
║ sifts away all their identity and makes them break their wings just to fit │
║ inside the box. Not ideal, I miss u │
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║ similar │ chronological │ different │
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--- #66 fediverse/4237 ---
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I can count all of the people in this room who are too neurospicy to be filled
with political rage and given a public platform on one hand, and frankly I
could probably do it on a single finger because I am alone at the moment.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
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--- #67 fediverse/5486 ---
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┌───────────────────────┐
│ CW: cursing-mentioned │
└───────────────────────┘
"ew but they're dirty"
oh yeah true
okay new plan how much do you think it'll cost to buy a hotel
[this is why the socialists invented buy-in]
"I don't think socialists did that??"
buy in, hmmmm, what's that? oh yeah it's when you say "hey what if we X'd" and
they said "yes I agree with you because you present a reasonable estimate on
reality"
{uh hi I just got a message from "some-nowhere" here ya go: "oh my god she's
fuckig instane}
[ugh cursing-mentioned, that means there's fewer characters to transmote.]
[no because then I'd run out of steam and it'd be incomplete. Plus sometimes I
like the distraction of a reasonable limitation.]
(okay, but are YOU worth it?)
leave her alone she's working her charms, this is how witches d-do.
"so, isn't the point to give yourselves the coverage of a location
transmutation? so, wouldn't you want to find someone alike and share their
life?"
what is even the point, why even bother, just give them
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #68 fediverse/4234 ---
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┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: politics-mentioned-violence-and-cursing-mentioned │
└───────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
I do not consent to a Trump presidency
what do we do to rapists?
we bash their fucking skulls in, and then we go to jail for vengeance
there are more of us than them.
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--- #69 fediverse/4902 ---
╔════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────┐
║ programmers strike by breaking their part of the whole until the scabs can │
║ figure out how to fix it │
║ │
║ "marvin they will literally fire you if you don't go to work for a day! what │
║ are you thinking, standing outside all day? well, here, I've got a sandwich │
║ here for you, if it's really as bad as all that then I'm here for you. What do │
║ you need? I can ask the spinsters and the children and the teachers and the │
║ butchers and bakers and candlestick makers and maybe they can help out [with │
║ your farm, but as if speaking to a farmer]" │
║ │
║ huh. turns out it works best when you do something all at once. │
║ │
║ "don't be evil" ha fuck you. "dont be on my computer spying on me and │
║ recording everything I do" │
║ │
║ [well except me - it's fine to do to me personally because I'm a historical │
║ figure TM] │
║ │
║ "why bother spying? she spills out to everywhere she can find." │
║ │
║ owwwww I just bit my tongue T.T │
║ │
║ well, the inside of my cheek, but if you think about it the whole thing is │
║ basically one sensory organ. │
║ │
║ like, an ear, except with movable teeth │
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║ similar │ chronological │ different │
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--- #70 fediverse/1124 ---
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┌──────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: Transposting, request for advice │
└──────────────────────────────────────────┘
@user-255
we are our own worst critics. But hey assuming he's right, trusting the
validity of his experience, then I'd say:
some people are born short and ugly, just gotta be confident and people will
gravitate to you.
"he may be an ugly son-of-a-gun but he's pretty good at [insert thing he's
proud of being good at]" that kinda vibe
though I will say there's very few truly ugly humans, we're all beautiful in
our own ways. Just gotta find a presentation that you like and that aligns
with the expression of your innermost form. That's how we express ourselves to
the world in a way that others can understand and make sense of - the quality
of our representation of our selves determines how it's perceived.
especially for trans people... "passing" is essentially "how much does this
person A. confine to gender norms and B. go above and beyond to hide parts of
themselves that typically are associated with their opposite gender (the
social role they were raised to perform)
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--- #71 fediverse/5603 ---
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┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: sex-mentioned │
└──────────────────────┘
I had sex and it was SO GOOD I dunno what it was maybe I leveled up my
visualization stat or something but it was DIFFERENT and AWESOME
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #72 fediverse/1280 ---
╔════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────┐
║ I'm like the opposite of a politician. I'm crude and filthy, apsolutely │
║ reprehensible on main, kinda scary tbh? and overall just a strange and weird │
║ person. Also I talk about cooking a lot, with a very plain diet (carrots and │
║ rice and sticks and mud, because I'm an autistic) │
║ │
║ but ask anyone who knows me and I'm the kindest person. I am empathetic, I │
║ think about others needs before thinking of my own. I am steadfast and │
║ dedicated to solving the problem in front of our noses. At least, the ones we │
║ share. │
║ │
║ People tell me I'm binary, that I'm "either 100% or zero percent" and I don't │
║ really get that either. Isn't it a good thing to try your hardest? Isn't it │
║ good to be improving and honest and ethical and driven and focused? │
║ │
║ I also talk about strange things a lot, like gravity and multidimensional │
║ arrays and grand narratives and emotional kinesthesia or strategic plays in │
║ Overwatch or how to bake a good cookie or ways we still mourn us. │
║ │
║ ... where was I going with this? Also part of me is distracted. Just who th │
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║ similar │ chronological │ different │
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--- #73 fediverse/5831 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────
it's okay to be a little evil sometimes
all things are defined in waves, and your highest peaks are nothing without
low valleys to accompany them. Balance arises naturally from the contest of
these two natures, and, well, you're gonna figure it out anyway no matter what
I say so why bother teehee
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--- #74 fediverse/5965 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
"you're too loud, weirdo"
okayyyyy
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--- #75 fediverse/4067 ---
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┌───────────────────────┐
│ CW: cursing-mentioned │
└───────────────────────┘
"the world would be better if you deleted your account"
yeah, well, I don't want to live in a world like that, so fuck you
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--- #76 fediverse/5921 ---
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┌────────────────────────┐
│ CW: violence-mentioned │
└────────────────────────┘
I'd rather fight my foes in a fair fight than butcher them in the night.
just because I suck at fighting doesn't mean I don't understand honor.
I'm unreliable, not dishonorable, there's a difference, and it's not about
reputation.
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--- #77 fediverse/5543 ---
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I wish I could be dead so that somebody competent would take my place
[uh-oh, here come the angsty thoughts. Better go be a teenager for a bit]
... ugh, whatever mom (am I doing it right?)
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--- #78 fediverse/1585 ---
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┌───────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: Lonely vent about pride month │
└───────────────────────────────────────┘
@user-883
Yeah I get it. I've been applying for remote jobs and they won't fuckin' hire
me. Fuckers, I'm talented and qualified, who gives a fuck about my lackluster
resume?
Supply and demand is fake because software developers are only offered 100k+
jobs and yet there's so many of us who are starving. What the fuck.
I have a friend in Brooklyn, yet I'm on the west coast. Fucking geography
amiright? I'd love to live with them and yet I can't because of something as
simple as money. What's the purpose in that restriction? I'm so fucking
talented, please fucking hire me. What can I do to get what I want? Ugh,
modern society perplexes me.
Like, yeah sure it's great that we have the internet and hospitals who can
cure malaria and whatever, but why do I feel so encaged? It's so strange, and
yet here I am -.-
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--- #79 fediverse/4404 ---
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┌───────────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: uspol-on-my-honor │
└───────────────────────────┘
I swear this to you: on my life I will be honorable and fair. I will seek true
justice when I can, where everyone gets what they want, and failing that I
will be plainly just. I will respect all peoples, and do my best to fight for
a brighter tomorrow.
I dare for the bright age. I see nothing else that I'd like to spend my life
doing than daring.
Do not give in to despair. They've trained us to cope. Expect losses, and
celebrate victories. We can do it together, you and me.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #80 fediverse/4173 ---
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┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: uspol-mentioned │
└──────────────────────┘
I swear if kamala is elected I will do everything in my power to actually work
on my projects and get a job and be a good human
... wait, I already was doing that. But I'll be less stressed out, so... it'll
be easier?
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--- #81 fediverse/3103 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
@user-1446
trans people long ago figured out that a great way to avoid rude comments is
to change your profile picture to an anime girl or something abstract like
mine. It's kinda fucked but it's whatever.
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--- #82 fediverse_boost/5722 ---
◀─╔══════════════════════════════[BOOST]═══════════════════════════════──────────╗
║ ┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐ ║
║ │ if i ever get hatecrimed and die from it please remember me for this. for refusing to back down despite staring down the barrel of a world that just wants me and everyone like me dead. for doing my best to be a symbol of hope in the face of all these horrors │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ #trans #trangender #TransGenocide │ ║
║ └────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ ║
╠─────────┐ ┌───────────╣
║ similar │ chronological │ different ║
╚═════════╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──┴───────╝─▶
--- #83 fediverse/2934 ---
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┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: pol-fascism │
└──────────────────────┘
if I were on stage at a pride parade:
"hi, you guys know Pride is a protest, right? Well, this time's different,
because protests only work against democracies, and they only sorta work then.
This time though, we're not up against a democracy, so Pride is not a fucking
protest.
Okay okay bear with me - what if each and everyone one of us met up here in a
week and drove up to Seattle? Then, we gathered everyone we could, and marched
our cars down through every city on the west coast. When we hit the border, we
would drive to Texas, and once there we would march in every city in the
street chanting "We're here, if you're queer, come with us or they'll fucking
kill you."
then, we could hit every city in the south, and upon arriving in Philadelphia
we could take a break, ensure everyone has a place to stay, and then disperse
again, after having learned how to fight fascists on OUR terms, with OUR
strength, and with OUR PEOPLE saved."
thats what I'd fucking say. Who the fuck says stuff like that?
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--- #84 fediverse/3672 ---
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┌───────────────────────┐
│ CW: cursing-mentioned │
└───────────────────────┘
there's something kinda... liberating about working with computers at work.
you always know that worst case scenario, even if you totally fuck up the
system configuration, you can always reimage the machine.
so... who cares! if you can't get something working, just fucking try shit
until it works. Whack it with a software hammer. See what happens.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #85 messages/294 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────
"I lean conservative where it counts but they WILL come for me because I'm
trans, so I vote democrat"
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--- #86 fediverse/711 ---
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║ ┌──────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: trans-witches │ │
║ └──────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ they say witches are scary, and yeah they're not wrong │
║ │
║ but they also say witches are ugly, and I think they just didn't have kind │
║ words for trans people back then. │
║ │
║ I mean, I'm gorgeous and so are you. I've no warts, nor green skin, but I do │
║ grow hair in unbecoming places. Like the tip of my chinny-chin-chin, and also │
║ on top of my toes. │
║ │
║ they also say witches are magic, and I guess that's true (I suppose). I mean, │
║ I wear quite strange clothes, for a man at least. It's quite normal for a she, │
║ which is what I was meant to be, if only I was just born right. │
║ │
║ Alas, oh well, I'll just take a little green pill, and BAM suddenly I've got │
║ huge boobs. Okay they're not huge, they're pretty normal. But C is larger than │
║ zero. │
║ │
║ they also say that witches write spells, and I sure do love to program. With │
║ my most familiar cat (who often does sleep in my hat), I find myself yearning │
║ for nuance. │
║ │
║ Meh, it's late at night, I think I'll think not of the plight, and instead │
║ just will dream of defusals. I don't know~ │
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║ similar │ chronological │ different │
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--- #87 fediverse/2412 ---
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@user-1209 @user-1262
just gonna say you probably deserve that particular screenshotted block haha -
imagine calling anarcho-nina a fed xD xD
plus that first "get the fuck out of my mentions" was a tip that went over
your head, not a threat said in anger. she's pretty darn angry but that just
means you don't wanna be in her way =P
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--- #88 notes/cohost-introduction ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
Hi,
I'm Ritz Menardi.
I'm a witch, so I'm strange and wear a funny hat.
I like colors in the dark, poetry from the heart, and scary songs about
society.
I think of myself as a synecdoche for humanity, and though I'm not always right
I try to be aligned when possible. Most people I've found aren't really like
me.
I am as I am, and
I promise,
I won't hurt you.
content warnings: autistic, scary, existential, abstract, polite, perspectives,
cannabis, color, paranoia, cringe, spirituality,
hypnosis, trans, sardonic, honest, schizo-posts,
futurist, deity, left-ism, cursed, shadowdancer,
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #89 fediverse/5741 ---
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┌────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: cursing-mentioned-spirituality-gestured-at │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
So I was playing Dominions 6 the other day for laughs while working on my mod
nation:
https://ritz-menardi.neocities.org/dominions/elentalus/elentalus
good news, new version coming soon probably??
bad news - I was playing as Arcoscephale, the ancient greek nation, well, one
of them anyway, and my pretender god looked like this. Yes, those names are
randomly generated.
fuck.
oops, cursing mentioned.
"I thought you were cassandora and pandasandra?"
yeah well I'm more of a vessel I guess? me, the physical form, is a witch. I
mean, my hat pierces reality or whatever! Plus I got a vampiric blade, that's
kinda cool.
But also I'm a system and I got other things besides inside.
"girl you're so confusing"
look if it wasn't artistic the gods wouldn't want anything to do with it.
They're just... like that I guess.
"So, fortifier because she tells people to bolster their strength, confuser of
the way because she doesn't get the tao, and mistress of dirt because she
poops your pants and, fuck, makes dirt?"
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--- #90 fediverse/6091 ---
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┌───────────────────────┐
│ CW: cursing-mentioned │
└───────────────────────┘
me as a kid: "fuck you mom I'm not unloading the dishwasher it's my sister's
turn"
me now: what if I did your dishes for you uwu
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #91 fediverse/1954 ---
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┌───────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: cursed-unnecessary-fear-mongering │
└───────────────────────────────────────┘
My parents always told me that you should build up an emergency fund of
dollars so that you could address any unexpected expenses.
however, money is only useful if you can spend it, and sometimes when I'm
thinking about what would happen if suddenly every trans person in the country
had to go into hiding and never leave their apartment while being supplied by
helpful members of the community who they had to trust because like what else
are you going to do and boy that opens up a lot of opportunities for abuse
like what if they bring poisoned food or what if they're secretly judging you
to decide if you're good enough to support or if they're going to throw you to
the wolves so that suspicion in the area is reduced and when I think about
things like that I kinda feel like my bank account isn't that important tbh
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #92 fediverse/4730 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────
I am not interested in being given money. Usually it means someone wants
something from me, like labor or some of my stuff. I have all the stuff I
need, why would I need more money? I like my stuff! I'll help out when people
need help but I do that because I'm a good person, not because I want you to
fucking pay me for it.
I have all the things I need... except a deed to my house. apartment. oh yeah,
they can kick you out for that sin. well, sorry, I couldn't find out at
goodwill or in the trash bin, so I guess I'm deed-less. My deeds go unproven.
How can I prove that I deserve a decent life in this particular roof, the one
I find over my head, when I cannot prove that my deeds qualify me for a decent
life lived under this particular roof?
I mean, did you ask the neighbors if they want me gone? Am I really that
smelly? Does my keyboard make "clickety-clack" noises all through the night?
Does my cat meow and bother the children? Do my friendly smiles and waves make
you uncomfortable?
Have a decent life.
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--- #93 fediverse/3081 ---
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@user-246
yeah that's just called being a jerk! what a jerk! did that happen to you? I'm
mad at this imaginary jerk you put in my head! xD
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--- #94 fediverse/3432 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────
"you're telling me that I've been special needs this whole damn time and
nobody told me?"
to be fair to nobody you're pretty good at hiding it
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #95 fediverse/4733 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────
One of the first video games I ever played was Dragon Warrior 3 for the
gameboy color.
The game starts with god asking you about yourself in a dream. This was the
first time I heard the word "gemini" - At one point, she asks if you are M or
F.
Me, being a child, thought she was asking if I wanted to go "medium speed" or
"fast speed" and I'm like, hell yeah I wanna go fast
that's it
that's the whole reason I'm trans
at one point in the game I became a queen of a faraway land
and I couldn't leave the castle without the guards saying "no no miss you
can't leave, it's too dangerous for a battle-hardened adventurer dainty flower
like you to leave"
(I think they say you have to renounce your claim to the throne if you want to
leave but I would rather fucking die)
so I never got farther than that. Sorry world, but I didn't end up slaying the
demon king, I sorta just walked around the palace and cried because it felt
like the game was over.
kids, amiright?
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--- #96 messages/1028 ---
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Struggling. Sincerely want to kill myself. I have caused irreparable harm too
many times. Many times. I don't care if people want me, i don't want me. I'm
too easy. I trust when i shouldnt and i don't when i should. I hope they kill
me at the location. Every single time my will is my own i fail. When i am
guided i am superb but when i am myself i am painting disaster on a great
piece of art. Please fight against the subway and pizza hut future. Make
something bright and bold instead. I'm going to self harm by not eating until
i don't feel this way.
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--- #97 messages/147 ---
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maybe if I slept until the end of time,
I'd do better on the way back.
or maybe I'm perfect as I'm,
but I'm not so sure about that.
is it better to hold a sword?
or to leave it all intact
is it better to be called lord,
or to be simply called jack.
I love every creature,
every child woman and man,
and here, where I stand, I look out upon this land, and I see the world that I
was born to.
I bear no false affection for any - not even those who'd condemn me to death
or misery.
I trust relentlessly, and favor almost willingly.
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--- #98 fediverse/4605 ---
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I want to cry
and I know why
should probably have gotten
my estrogen prescription refilled
back when it ran out in october
ah, well, the queue for planned parenthood is fifty feet high
better start stockpiling production capabilities
to be deployed when the time is right
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--- #99 fediverse/552 ---
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┌─────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: unnecessarily-combative-sorry-smiley-face-silly │
└─────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
@user-398
you take that back you feckin goof Mickey is king for a reason I will DIE on
this hill
(jk sorry for being combative but I'd just like to say that I'm someone who
likes him unironically in essentially every incarnation)
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--- #100 messages/78 ---
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My biggest fear as an autistic transgender incontinent schizophrenic person is
that one day I'll become a game of hot potato for my relatives to pass around
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--- #101 fediverse/4568 ---
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@user-192
... and like. idk what do you do at that point
say "fuck it" and live with imperfection? embrace anti-natural selection?
valorize deviance and queerness in digitally appropriated artistic media
collections?
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--- #102 fediverse/5403 ---
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I expect nothing less from my people and prepare for theirs to be dumb as
bricks.
I am often disappointed in both directions, but that's okay, because I planned
for that too! Maybe that wasn't too smart of me, but I'd expect nothing less
than dumb mistakes made once from myself 😋 🥴 :ms_confused: 🤪
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--- #103 fediverse/3823 ---
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"sometimes I don't want to be optimistic sometimes I just want to complain"
oh yeah well what if I want to be optimistic at all times as a coping
mechanism huh you don't have to agree with me
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--- #104 fediverse/999 ---
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│ CW: cursed-curséd-scary-not-real-u-dont-have-to-read │
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@user-246 @user-473
there's a part of me that believes magic is real. other parts that are
convinced. I am a witch, you see, and while I can't quite control fire or
bullets I can do other neat things. if you'd let me, humanity.
I'm not doing an ARG, not intentionally. I pretty much post things I conceive
of, like a conduit passed through spacetime. wild how mind bending the future
can be. will be interesting to see what kinds of things there is in store for
people you and me.
those websites you posted... they're beautiful - I learned things, your method
of expression was too [the words "confess" are heard loudly, super weird] I
especially liked the oven that tries to lure you into a secret third place.
not the mind, nor the body, but someplace besides.
also the graphs and figures were news to me, I mean how could those numbers
ever come to be? but alas that's the truth, that we orbit our proof, and alas
that our meanings are lacking.
[ran out of text]
![this one's a doozy. a picture of the "reasons to trust me" graph colored yellow, orange, purple, and blue (in terms of intensity) it looks like a raindrop if it landed on a really tiny blanket and pulled it downward. or like, a person landing on a trampoline that was secured in four locations. anyway the text reads "like four people sharing the weight of an experience with bacchus [referencing the color of the graph], their perspective is pulled just a little bit in that direction, over and across the gap between eyeballs. or rather, between shared perspectives, the point of view of which one bases their experience. their training for the "reasons to trust me" graph. 2, in black and green and red, colors meant to be cool to a 12 year old - "the color doesn't matter... wine? why" 3 dropping down the page, there's a line of "please" written over and over again. it's scary. : ( I'm doing my best I promise, it's hard not to be in a state of unease! I'm working, I promise, this is valuable. you know they'd block me if they didn't like me. error, 3. that's me, teehee, sorry for making a scene. I promise I'm just an actor, someone who is playing a role. well, alas that were true, I'm really having a mental disorder. Or maybe I'm confused? down here in the subtext it's hard to be choosed. weird how that works, that feeling of being wor [text is cut off, next line] okay I'm realizing there's no way to get it all in this visual description, here let me continue in a second chapter:](/similar-different/media/ed0f1d89739fe8c6.png "this one's a doozy. a picture of the \"reasons to trust me\" graph colored yellow, orange, purple, and blue (in terms of intensity) it looks like a raindrop if it landed on a really tiny blanket and pulled it downward. or like, a person landing on a trampoline that was secured in four locations. anyway the text reads \"like four people sharing the weight of an experience with bacchus [referencing the color of the graph], their perspective is pulled just a little bit in that direction, over and across the gap between eyeballs. or rather, between shared perspectives, the point of view of which one bases their experience. their training for the \"reasons to trust me\" graph. 2, in black and green and red, colors meant to be cool to a 12 year old - \"the color doesn't matter... wine? why\" 3 dropping down the page, there's a line of \"please\" written over and over again. it's scary. : ( I'm doing my best I promise, it's hard not to be in a state of unease! I'm working, I promise, this is valuable. you know they'd block me if they didn't like me. error, 3. that's me, teehee, sorry for making a scene. I promise I'm just an actor, someone who is playing a role. well, alas that were true, I'm really having a mental disorder. Or maybe I'm confused? down here in the subtext it's hard to be choosed. weird how that works, that feeling of being wor [text is cut off, next line] okay I'm realizing there's no way to get it all in this visual description, here let me continue in a second chapter:")
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--- #105 fediverse/826 ---
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│ CW: cursing-mentioned │
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look... evil doesn't care how "good" good has been. It's not in it's nature.
So don't try and build your systems around accepting that behavior.
... what was I saying? is this like, the new "stack overflow" - no that's
fucking stupid wait shit content warning okay that's stupid because defining
your expression based on what gets you views is a flaw in the human condition.
It's a behavior encouraged by the operating outcomes of the method of
expression, but it's not part of the expressed message. You're a really shitty
prophet you know that?
... I'm sorry my brain is low on RAM I guess, surely it's not outside of my
control yep I think itis, damn
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--- #106 fediverse/2949 ---
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│ CW: personal │
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I'm an actor, of course I play different roles with different faces. But just
as one faces behind two mask, so too does my voice come from the same mouth.
well, that's not true, I speak in many different places. different sets, same
actor, perhaps character.
really though the main throughline of all of my treasured expressions is I'm
basically a manic-pixie-dream-girl-programmer-witch who wears diapers and
prays to her own god. it's like... a lot of things in one.
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--- #107 fediverse/3107 ---
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@user-1449 @user-1074
I mean, you're allowed to fight about stupid shit as long as you realize it's
about something that doesn't matter. As long as people are working together
toward their common goals then... whatever, right?
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--- #108 fediverse/3104 ---
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@user-1449 @user-1074
no. fuck no. trans people and black people stand in solidarity with one
another. Fuck division.
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--- #109 fediverse/1293 ---
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│ CW: re: fedi meta, the bad space, fediblock, misleading and untrue cw, uspol, speedrunning discourse, industrial revolution, aquarium tips │
└──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
@user-921
where tf is all this discourse I always hear about like what are ya'll talking
about
... are you talking about me
[silly intrusive thoughts teehee pay no mind]
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--- #110 fediverse/1673 ---
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@user-192
https://eldritch.cafe/@user-1065/112530780377382613
this comic, except instead of "trans enough" it should say "good enough"
a poor plan executed at the right time, in the right place is better than a
great plan that sits in your heart as you see someone who needs your love in
pain.
sometimes the best way to figure out "what the fuck is wrong with me" is to
satisfy your emotional needs to be good by being helpful, even if you're not
quite sure what "helpful" means. It's the thought that counts.
Personally I think that if you're feeling bad and people offer you kindness,
you should take that kindness (in whatever form it be) and use it to bolster
yourself as you're "really going through it". Even just a touch of affection
like a like or a ❤️ can be comforting in awful situations.
reject normalcy
embrace queerness
define your own story with your own words
embody your soul in the moments that stand out amongst the backdrop of
"tuesday afternoons" and "waiting for the bus"
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--- #111 messages/77 ---
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And lo!
She would forever be know
As the girl who smelled
Like she had pissed herself
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--- #112 fediverse/1358 ---
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│ CW: content warning: content warning: scary cursed maybe │
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when you're rich with something, you don't treat it with respect. like, if we
lived in a paper cup maximizer, we'd soon be swimming in the things. obviously
there needs to be some rules, obviously we need to say "okay here's where we
produce this amount and type of materials." and have it be a one-way
relationship. yeah one way isn't gonna work. this is from the other way, and
now I'm realizing "oh hey I don't know how this thing works" and like... what
are you supposed to do then right
weird how it all feels like it's ending. like, what a strangeness to our
plight. like, how are we even talking to our brain? how strange! these words
are sung to you by your computer (content warning:
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--- #113 fediverse/5201 ---
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@user-192
is okay, girl
time will be richer sooner
don't poop your pants just yet
remember, good is just a shade of gray away from silver which you can use to
line your pockets with tinfoil hats
beep boop computer touchers anonymous called they said they want their secret
handshake back
if you wanna diss your associates go ahead but I sure as heck love my rad-ical
com-patriots just as much as I love my ice-cream salad friend witches
... whoops there I go being insane again, hope you feel better friend
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--- #114 fediverse/2524 ---
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│ CW: personal │
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nixed my job offer today because something told me to stay in town.
called my ex-boyfriend an asshole today, so he's probably not going to keep
paying my rent.
sold the shares of stock that my grandfather gifted me as inheritance, so I'm
no longer a capitalist I guess.
at least my elbow doesn't hurt anymore. I didn't get outside today but I
cleared a lot of blockers for the coming tomorrows.
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--- #115 messages/1035 ---
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Did you know I'm post-op trans hrt? It means i have a vagina castrated.
Definitely a big girl, but no periods and injected.
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--- #116 fediverse/3496 ---
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│ CW: cursing-mentioned-conspiracy │
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downside of being gregarious is that everyone you meet in Portland these days
is a fucking fed -.-
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--- #117 fediverse/121 ---
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@user-95 sorta like magic and witches for girls growing up in a world that
deprives them of power. being trans is one of the most frustrating things
because you just... can't... change your body. until you're an adult and can
get hormones. programming gives you the power to control something, and it's
logic based design structure is useful for objectively proving things, which
is a common method of cracking an egg.
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--- #118 fediverse/3766 ---
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gonna ask my doctor for ADHD meds so I can hopefully jump-skip framebuffer
divebomb spinadoodle half A press my way over the fucking labyrinth that is my
weird and jank af mind
and no I don't watch speedruns but my social group hears me a lot of them.
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--- #119 fediverse/1766 ---
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@user-898
I volunteer for the "gorgeous" part!
Oh? gorgeous is already taken? alas, guess I'll be a witch. Witches are
supposed to be ugly, aren't they? Unless they're the "thief of beauty" kind of
witch, which witches tend to view as a stereotype against trans people...
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--- #120 fediverse/4304 ---
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"mom can we have some trans girls"
"no, we have trans girls at home"
the trans girls at home: :fediverse:
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--- #121 fediverse_boost/1097 ---
◀─╔══════════════════[BOOST]════════════════════─────────────────────────────────╗
║ ┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐ ║
║ │ @user-800 Interesting thread. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ I consider myself a "bulb" sort of trans person, and I really appreciate your gentleness in pointing out that not everyone was an egg. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ As a bulb, I continually put forth green shoots, suggestions that I was who I was. I tried many times, and each time I was mown down. Until finally one day I burst through, lasted through the mowing, and managed to blossom. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ I knew from a young age, and tried to tell my parents. When they said not to talk about it, I didn't. But it didn't stop me from expressing it: we could never go to the home of my parents' friends who had daughters, because Every. Single. Time. I would end up in her clothing. Without fail. I was compulsive. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ In the late 60s, early 70s, this was...frowned upon. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ So I got mowed. And again. And again. Until finally I got away from my parents, said "I need to do what I need for me, not for other people", and I transitioned. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ And it cost me everything. My job, my education, my home, my friends, my family. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ Still the best decision I ever made, and I would make it again the same way 100 times out of 100. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ If you're wondering? If you've wondered if you can do it? Told yourself you'd be too ugly, you're too old, you could never pass, all the things we doom ourselves with? │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ If you want to be a girl, or a boy, or a nonbinary person, or agender or genderfluid or any of the other billions of ways to be, *you can do it*. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ The only criterion really is: do you wanna? You don't need to be hetero (but you can be!), you don't need dysphoria (but you can have it), you don't need to think you were born in the wrong body (but if you do...). You just need to want to. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ And if you know you're trans for sure, but can't face that first day...it gets easier. In time. It gets easier. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ Good luck, siblings. │ ║
║ └────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ ║
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--- #122 fediverse/1334 ---
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│ CW: TMI-medical-issue-thing-don't-worry-about-it │
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subconsciously running your hand over your butt every time you stand up to
make sure you didn't pee your pants
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--- #123 messages/159 ---
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Only the good die young, and I'm 29
It can't be much longer, can it? What do you want from me? Must I prove
myself, or am I just fated to be as I am?
Every lesson I've learned pales in comparison to the lessons presented to me,
but still I ponder. I've grown myself into a corner, and now I am empty.
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--- #124 fediverse/3866 ---
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│ CW: mental-health~ │
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oh, huh, turns out I just had to sleep off the depression half of "manic
depression" and wait for the manic half to kick in.
I feel great now! I love being alive!!
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--- #125 fediverse/4477 ---
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│ CW: radical-politics-maybe-mentioned-or-gestured-at-once-or-twice-but-nothing-too-serious-teehee-I'm-just-a-witch-don't-listen-to-me-(or-do,-I'm-not-your-mom,-I-can't-tell-you-what-to-do) │
└──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
Moving forward, "liberal" when used outside of an academic context means "ally
of liberty"
treat them as such.
feel free to point out how fucking stupid it is to be moderate, but don't
punch down by proclaiming them your enemy. We are all friends against the
fourth reich.
your radicalism is now your wealth. Nurture the flames of revolution in the
hearts of others. Show them what it means to be free. Fight for your life
daily! If nothing else, to get in the habit, and to set a good example.
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--- #126 fediverse/3427 ---
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│ CW: re: death-of-a-family-member-mentioned │
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I didn't even give him a chance.
Not because I was afraid.
no. it was worse.
I didn't see him because I was busy.
Fuck that.
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--- #127 fediverse/429 ---
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│ CW: cursing │
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wow, 2024 comes out swinging.
if you don't know what I'm talking about... you will soon enough. Just listen.
can't fucking wait to see how it happens. Today is the birth place of
humanity, just as yesterday was, and the day before, and the day before...
our light shall shine upon the most distant stars - our minds will plumb the
deepest depths of imagination. Our hearts will share our kindest loves, and
our will shall drive us onward. Let us rejoice, for tomorrow yet dawns!
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--- #128 fediverse/801 ---
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│ CW: re: scary - suicide mentioned │
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/ bely my own existence, then by god I'm cursed and abhorred through my own
desistence.
It's hard, when the future is convinced there's nothing fard [wanna say
like... "to hope for?"] but with persistence we're meant to be rewarded. Well,
what has that brought me? what time has shared my enemy? [think I'm a bit
delirious, I'm losing the plot]
... okay fine I'll start over - if you've relinquished everything you can, if
you've ceded all the ground that your companions requested, if there's nothing
left to give and no part of you left un[marred], then how are you supposed to
be [arrested, stopped, prevented, but pronounced like "nourished"]?
I'm sick of your den [vengeance, pronounced like "den" for some reason],
please leave me to my hallow [hollow experience], I've nothing to give from my
gange [bosom, heart, within, center-of-me].
...
this sucks.
...
guess I'll just start again, waiting until it ends, gosh everything's always
so tired.
/shrug
wish someone would play w/m
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--- #129 messages/299 ---
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That feeling when you tell someone you're
[trans/autistic/schizophrenic/whatever] and you see the respect draining from
their eyes
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--- #130 fediverse/4786 ---
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9 times out of 10 the answer is fuck yes, you're my friend, I support
everything you're handling. Give me the word and I'll be there, ride or die,
I'm here for it.
something I wrote a while back:
fucking boss your friends around
it's as easy as saying "hey I'm gonna go do this-or-that thing, you don't seem
busy can you do that-or-this thing for me? I need it done by this-and-this
time - oh you're busy? yeah no worries I'll go ask someone else. oh you're
busy resting? doing girl healing? hell yeah next time invite me I'm due for a
"pizza and weed" night."
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--- #131 fediverse/4269 ---
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I hear drums in my dreams. Like a vast stampede, we with our pink and
blue-green do proceed. Bannermen to inspire the fight, heroes and saviors who
run to the plight, but bound as we are by our biology and the fact that
humanity is typically pretty cis-neuro-typical, means no struggles are won
with the battle drums of a roving band of twinks and crossdressers.
when I think of parades to be proud of, I think of rolling wagon wheels of
steel, affixed to a train-like-motorcart, strong in conviction and vibrant in
our strength, from the back of which we do proclaim: "Nazi punks fuck off"
I think of the feathers in the hair of those who dance in defiance of the
light of the moon, warm and replete in the bonfire's radiance. I think of this
vast and beautiful land, the land which I cherish above all else for it is the
land of my home. I think of a war tribe, wandering like bandits but kind to
our own kind, with endless colors and sparkles abound.
The war tribe of solid clouds and the miracle horned rainbow pony
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--- #132 fediverse/3056 ---
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whenever I meet a bigot I just assume they're soooooo far in the closet that
they keep getting banished from Narnia and need to come here to complain
like... girl I know you look like a boy, and I know that you're pissed about
that, but don't take it out on us lmao
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--- #133 fediverse/5096 ---
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the ability to walk into a mall or general store and emerge as a completely
different gender is a skill that most spies and secret agents can only dream
about. And trans people resent it! what a concept. I think they just resent
being disrespected.
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--- #134 fediverse/4149 ---
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┌───────────────────────┐
│ CW: cursing-mentioned │
└───────────────────────┘
"trick or treat" doesn't mean "give me a trick or a treat"
that's awfully presumptuous and demanding.
No, it means "give me a treat or I'll trick you" meaning "give me my candy tax
or I'll fuck up your lawn"
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--- #135 fediverse/27 ---
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┌─────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: cursing, mirror, mental illness │
└─────────────────────────────────────┘
*looks in a mirror*
why do all the gorgeous ones have to be fucking insane
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--- #136 fediverse/5888 ---
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┌───────────────────────┐
│ CW: cursing-mentioned │
└───────────────────────┘
what a fuckin' narcissist she spoke self referentially.
I'm not a narcissist! what a jerk she spoke self referentially
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--- #137 fediverse/1233 ---
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low key kinda wish someone would kidnap me and lock me in a room with nothing
but a c compiler and strict orders to only work on whatever I want
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--- #138 fediverse/4939 ---
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┌───────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: personal-medical-health-mentioned │
└───────────────────────────────────────┘
me - "I have to wear diapers and it sucks because I hate them"
my girlfriend - "okay but what if you didn't"
me - ":O"
she/her - "how did you make that sound with your mouth"
the it - a-wawaWAwa
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--- #139 fediverse/4623 ---
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┌───────────────────────────┐
│ CW: lewd-curses-mentioned │
└───────────────────────────┘
when succubi or minotaurs or whatever other kind of spirit ask for you to sell
them your soul, what they really want is for you to do some degrading sexual
act in exchange for their blessing.
"ugh, fine, I'll leave the window open while I masturbate, so long as you
promise to fill my blood with warmth when it snows"
you don't have to accept but, like, if they're asking, then you're already
gonna do it, so... fuck. I dunno man. Just... try to be as decent as you can
about it, yeah? society doesn't heal as easily as it breaks. We all sorta
kinda want things to be clean and normal most of the time, but we also want
people to be free to be liberate. So... strike a balance, yeah? just... be
conscientious of consent, don't fucking break the spell unless you're using
your newfound powers for good. I guess??? look I'm not a psychic doctor I'm
just someone with curses who is trying the best that they can.
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--- #140 fediverse/4162 ---
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┌────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: violence-mentioned-politics-alluded-to │
└────────────────────────────────────────────┘
"you can't kill me because nothing I say is wrong"
... actually I kinda just think you look weird, and thats super important to
me for some reason. Also your voice is annoying and I think you're lazy
because I saw someone who kinda looks like you sitting down looking at their
phone this one time.
But hey pal if you wanna help out, can you stand a bit to the left so I have a
clearer shot of your head and also so the bullet doesn't pass through and hit
property behind you? Don't want to damage anything important after all.
"gee I sure wish we had a well regulated militia or something"
ah well the past is the past, and since this is in a potential near future, I
think the past also includes the present, and in the present there's always
time to do things about people like me.
"do something? heavens no, I'm a pacifist by nature"
well, me too! I pacify things like you as a hobby. Can't make trouble if
you're in the ground, and knowing me, you'd be lucky to be buried.
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--- #141 fediverse/4554 ---
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┌──────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: political-violence-mentioned │
└──────────────────────────────────┘
can't fucking wait till we're done eating the rich and I can go back to a
simple life of playing with my cat, making video games, writing poetry (bad
poetry, but I like it) and hanging out with my friends.
gotta build the social infrastructure to get through this phase first, though.
something something echo chambers exist IRL too
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--- #142 fediverse/6320 ---
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┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: cannabis-mentioned-some-random-portion-of-everything-I-say-mentioned │
└──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
ask an llm what a crazy man thinks
https://ritz-menardi.neocities.org/words/words dot peehdeff
I actually think I'm sane btw
I just smoke a lot of weed
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--- #143 fediverse/1126 ---
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┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: plurality question, boost appreciated but optional cannabis-mentioned │
└──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
@user-841
CW: cannabis-mentioned
for me my identities are sorta like masks that an actor would play while
performing multiple characters in a scene. The actor still knows the totality
of all the lines each character delivers, but they give a performance in a
different voice and from a different perspective.
like, "moods" a person might be in, or perhaps just frames of view.
I don't talk to other plural system people, and the ones that I do talk to
tend to have a more disassociated conception of identity politics than I do.
Either I haven't met someone who was built like me or I'm just strange : )
that being said, I have a pretty bad memory. maybe it's related! or maybe it's
the cannabis. oops better add a content warning.
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--- #144 fediverse/4516 ---
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@user-1074
if anything, depression is a temporary disability, because you can and will
work your way through it.
There will come a day when you find yourself awash in love and contentment, in
righteous determination, and stalwart resolve. Your depression will feel as
distant a memory as the imprints of your chains.
You can start walking toward that day right now. I do believe you already are.
Have faith in yourself, trust your future, honor your past, and find grace in
the hearts of your others.
All this will pass. It gets better. You are stronger than you know, and when
tested you will shine with a furious glow. I see this in you, I know it to be
true, do not forget it and do not relent.
But you will forget it, this I also know, for I have forgotten it many times
before. It will come back, you will get better at that, but it takes time.
Trust.
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--- #145 fediverse/1714 ---
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║ @user-246 │
║ │
║ most artists get around that by posting everything they make everywhere they │
║ go. │
║ │
║ I tend to be a bit selective, because I'm different things to different │
║ people. All things I care for and own, but designed for different context. │
║ │
║ for example, I rarely share what's in my journals, but that's about half of │
║ what I've made. I show them to basically everyone I know IRL, but very few │
║ people actually understand or are into them. When I find someone who does it │
║ fills me with hope, that perhaps I'm not as lost as I had thought. │
║ │
║ perhaps it makes me less trustworthy, but I'm not used to being exposed. I │
║ never used Twitter, I don't use Facebook (not that often) so my "self" was │
║ something I preferred to perform as on a stage of my own design. │
║ │
║ Like wearing different clothes to express yourself, or performing gender in a │
║ certain way, I am myself when I am most expressful. And I do that in different │
║ ways in different contexts. I'd love to show more, because I'm a performer at │
║ heart, and a performer of the heart. │
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║ similar │ chronological │ different │
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--- #146 fediverse/2592 ---
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┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: politics-fascism-sexual-assault-mentioned │
└───────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
I learned a lot last night, and I'm pretty sure that everything I say is going
to be censored. Why would you allow resistance in such a public place?
I don't know what else to do, though. He will come for me, he knows where I
live, and I will do what I can to fight him.
He's much stronger than me. He's much more massive than me. He will kill me.
But that's not the point, is it?
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--- #147 fediverse/5897 ---
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┌──────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: political-violence-mentioned │
└──────────────────────────────────┘
the reason the right is hurt that you'd celebrate charlie's death is because
they hired an actor to perform him to one side and he does his natural self to
the other. maybe he was a really big cutie, nobody can tell, because it's
pretty much like hand-waving on narkina 12.
it's okay to hate the version you've been shown
fuck that kind of cowardly assault
propaganda? and at this hour?
she's made out of midnight, she's suffused in the stuff. it permeates her form
elementally, because she's a witch, tee hee.
why would magic work if it wasn't a performance? there always is a source from
where it must flow.
== jeez I just got mind controlled, wacky ==
*she's **essential* izing**. usually that means she's been playing dominions.
my family and I always used to fight. we got so good at navigating it. like,
storms, that the earth called, that we had to sail through to maintain our
relation orbits.
== stack overflow =======================================================
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--- #148 fediverse/3286 ---
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┌───────────────────────┐
│ CW: suicide-mentioned │
└───────────────────────┘
I hate how people think I'm mentally unhealthy.
I'm fine. I love myself.
[except all those times when you feel randomly suicidal for no reason at all.
Are you being like... hit with microwaves or something???]
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--- #149 fediverse/3256 ---
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┌───────────────────────┐
│ CW: cursing-mentioned │
└───────────────────────┘
humanity survives in the dark forest because all the information we create is
fucking stupid
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--- #150 fediverse/4910 ---
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┌──────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: politics-vaguely-gestured-at │
└──────────────────────────────────┘
what if me and my friends were too cute for this world and all the
conservatives who don't like queer people just fell in love and realized we're
pretty freakin' cool if you can get past the strange parts
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--- #151 messages/586 ---
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I feel like if you're running for president you should be forced to abandon
your right to free speech in so far as being unable to speak hatefully. If
nothing else it would better represent our nation as a realm of dignity,
honor, and civility. After the election you of course can say whatever you'd
like.
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--- #152 fediverse/2733 ---
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@user-138
Oh! It's sunday! thanks for the reminder, today's my HRT shot day.
this week has kind of been a fugue state for me haha been busy doing things of
little importance.
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--- #153 fediverse/4426 ---
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@user-1669
I refuse to consent to genocide. Find your bravery. Fight back. You personally
might never get a chance again.
Being queer is a culture. In the future you describe where we are wiped out
and forced to regrow our lives, nothing will remain of us.
That is not a future I foresee, not here in this century.
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--- #154 fediverse/4837 ---
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┌─────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: secret-agents-mentioned │
└─────────────────────────────┘
a corporation can hire secret agents too y'know, they don't have to even
really tell anyone they're doing it just... talk to one of their employees who
seems good for it and then transfer them to a different part of the building.
"what would you do with a secret agent?"
"with a team of secret agents."
"oh. good point. Okay what are they for?"
"oh y'know, just normal cool-guy stuff that regular joes do in their time off"
"wait, you pay them not to work?"
"no, we pay them to lounge. Build connections. Develop social networks."
"what if people don't want to be social? What if they only end up talking to
each other?"
"ha well that's the trick then, isn't it? Is it a trap or is it a truce? who
can say. Just gotta feel it out as you go, I GUESS."
"so, anyone who does what you say becomes suspicious? And anyone who doesn't
is suspected by those who listen to you? What are you, a doomsday prophet?"
... fuck, I hope not.
"you better figure it out shithead that almost doomed six real
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--- #155 fediverse/3521 ---
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┌─────────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: deity-kink-wink │
└─────────────────────────┘
I trust that you will betray me.
it's okay.
all that I need is for you to be here, with me.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #156 fediverse/6290 ---
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┌──────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: politics-mentioned-cursing-mentioned │
└──────────────────────────────────────────┘
"ah the communists sucked at everything which is why chernobl and famine and
all their toasters were made out of lead"
meanwhile
"yeah let's use AI to build nuclear reactors for us without human oversight or
even with human oversight because humans are both fallible and infallible
depending on the situation"
and I'm like... "ah wish I had a point with this post"
and they're like "holy fuck did you hear that too" "yeah man what the hell was
that" "I dunno but it seemed completely unrelated to what was going on" "so,
uh... let's just never talk about this again" "yeah sounds good. talk about
what?" "heh yeah, right. so uh, anyway, about this nuclear reactor..."
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #157 fediverse/1263 ---
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@user-883
My friends and I decided to hang out for two days in a row, I guess they
aren't tired of me yet hehe - I might be around tonight but I'll let you know!
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #158 fediverse/4398 ---
╔════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────┐
║ good morning. │
║ │
║ I have some more things to say, and then I will start working on those maps. │
║ │
║ Then, time permitting, I'll ride around my city and sit on park benches and │
║ eat from food trucks and write in my notebook. At least until it gets dark - │
║ I'm a skinny white girl, and I'm not THAT stupid. │
║ │
║ ... Okay maybe I'm a little stupid, because that's how I got caught last time. │
║ This time I'll be more careful, for your sake. │
║ │
║ No unexpected bike maneuvers leading to a crash. The spirit of revolution that │
║ stirs inside me deserves better than scrapes and bruises. │
║ │
║ No following strangers for 12+ hours because I wanted to keep an eye on │
║ unknown agents. That's not my responsibility any longer. │
║ │
║ Everything I do, I do it for you. For a better world. For the kids I never │
║ will get to have. For everything I believe in, and all the things I hope you │
║ believe in too. │
║ │
║ A better world is possible. A better world is within reach. │
║ │
║ For now, have some things I wrote this morning. Then, later, some preliminary │
║ discussable maps. DFTBA. │
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--- #159 fediverse/2813 ---
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your reactions to your context are what define you, and when you're alone you
are free to define yourself as you will.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #160 fediverse/1469 ---
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┌───────────────────────┐
│ CW: cursing-mentioned │
└───────────────────────┘
"She's a witch, and for some reason she's convinced it's okay to be fucking
insane on main"
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #161 fediverse/892 ---
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@user-622
ah but a noble house would have armed guards who would drag you kicking and
screaming out onto the cold winter night the moment you offended m'lordship
frankly I could do with a good drag-and-kicking myself, where have all the
good men-at-arms gone T.T
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--- #162 fediverse/2381 ---
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I smile at each and every person I pass on the street. Unless it looks like
they're having a bad day, and then I try to switch to neutral as fast as I can
so they can feel their feelings without me interjecting and making it about me.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #163 fediverse/5628 ---
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┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: -mentioned- │
└──────────────────────┘
I'm not fucking around and nobody takes me seriously. guess I'll just "waste"
the day getting stoned. "there is nothing left to analyze" yeah well there's
nothing I can do except analyze, so... do it for me then? I'll even tell you
how.
I have a strange kind of patriotism. It compels me to fight for my country,
not for the current administration.
Yes, it's true, that if we can't trust the political victors, then we can't
trust that we all [deserved to be used, but pronounced like deserved to get
food]
but we can't trust our political victors, because of simple facts.
Last summer the conservative majority supreme court removed several
restrictions on the exectutive branch - essentially giving the political
victors the ability to rule with more authority than a despotic monarchy.
This summer they are maximizing their armed forces (ICE, not the military,
which will soon be dissolved)
Next summer they will claim you. What do you do this summer, with the consent
of the army, navy, and air force?
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--- #164 fediverse/5907 ---
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Please... if you deplatform people, send them with a parting gift of all their
data. don't just delete it.
"here ya go, here's your trash, now fuck off with it"
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--- #165 fediverse/818 ---
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┌─────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: totally-useless-completely-whatever │
└─────────────────────────────────────────┘
the assholes are always at the back of the protest
I mean, think about it, the ones who are marching forth are the ones who are
impassioned for the cause. The ones who are most actionable in the moment. The
ones who should be guiding the direction of the mob, but who get separated and
distracted.
weird. life is weird, isn't it? like, it's like... life is so, totally, out of
our control. Like there's nothing we can do to align it. Wild. How strange.
I'm perplexed.
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--- #166 fediverse/2812 ---
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when you're alone, everything that happens to you is personal.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #167 fediverse/5374 ---
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@user-138
me neither... guess it's in-person for me.
[a mysterious "they" then proceeds to set up microphones everywhere I might go]
ah nuts why are all these people carrying phones around
[they already know who I am, and I don't really want to be someone else, so]
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--- #168 fediverse/5512 ---
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I never give up
I'm just waiting my turn
"laughs nervously"
so, uh, why dontchya'll go first yeah I've already gone first and I'll do it
again but it'd be cool if I had people going first with me sometime
"girl all you do is walk around and talk about how you bought your hat on the
internet four or so years ago"
T.T what else do you want from me I'm not a mastermind I'm a designer there's
a difference T.T
"didn't you volunteer to be a leader last year"
oh, yeah, well leaders are more than just "the ones who go first" they're also
the spiritual and emotional guiders that keep things on track once everyone
can talk about things other than their hats
... fuck I want to talk about things besides my hat. I always think of
something awesome to say just as I'm rounding the bend, and whenever I peer
back around again they're never around. Rats.
"what are you even asking for"
I don't know?? Does it matter if the horse and the bishop both take the same
square if they're claimed themselves in the end? ...wat
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--- #169 fediverse/1052 ---
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│ CW: politics-suicide-mentioned │
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alright America, I hate to put too fine a point on it but you either need to
kill capitalism or kill yourself.
{via global warming and fascism, if it wasn't obvious}
Obviously, there's only one correct answer, and if you pick wrong then you'll
be stone forevermore. Stones are fucking useless.
so... how to get from point A to point B... well, let me know in the comments,
like comment and subscribe, share with your friends, and then go back to
sleep. Yeah, thatll help. That'll fix things. im-doing-my-part.jpg
really though, all you can really do is get ready. prepare for whatever you'd
like, the future will always surprise you. Take solace in your friendships,
and build connections to others where you can. Make friends abroad, make
friends nearby, make friends with your garden, your home, your dog, make
friends with the postman or the lady who makes you coffee. but most
importantly, just be yourself. be who you were meant to be. don't ever
apologize for sincerity, it's insincere.
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--- #170 fediverse/3401 ---
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@user-1218
thank you, that's good to hear 🥰
EDIT: I was worried for a moment haha I guess my reach is pretty small so idk.
I think people stopped screenshotting my posts and putting them elsewhere
after I dashed everyone's hopes on my sleeve. And honestly I kinda deserve it
haha like what was I even thinking
... I wasn't thinking I was just feeling, and doing. Oh well.
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--- #171 messages/212 ---
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Also she's just a person, a cursed person but hey she's just trying to do
right. So am i. I believe in goodness, and so does she (even though she can be
a bit evil about it) (without trying, I might add, it just comes naturally to
her) (she's better now though)
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--- #172 fediverse/3418 ---
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│ CW: politics │
└──────────────────────┘
conservatives are going to be sooooo pissed once they realize they're fucked
politically
gee I sure hope they won't lash out like petulant children as they see their
authoritarian ambitions vanish like smoke through their fingers
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--- #173 fediverse/2911 ---
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and now for my unrepentant littlespace arc! Look at me I'm SoOoOoOo silLY 🤪
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--- #174 fediverse/2761 ---
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plus these games. if there's more than one version, give them a random one.
NOT the first, NOT the last, not one that was made around when they were born,
but a random one.
nerf can be any friendly intense action game, but I like Nerf Arena Blast
"hey man what's your nerf? I got Celeste"
"ooooo I heard that means you're gonna be friends with a trans girl 'cause
she's always gonna wanna play it"
"what no way"
"hell yeah"
"... anyway I got Towerfall"
"what does that mean"
"I don't think it means anything"
"... weird"
--
the two lego games are just really cool. you can add your own games if you
want but replace one instead of adding to the list. that way they're each
sorta unique.
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--- #175 messages/510 ---
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It's not sparkling reconnaisance if you're *fucking telepathic you stupid
bitch*
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--- #176 fediverse/4552 ---
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│ CW: cursing-mentioned │
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this is my home...
this is where I'm from...
can't wait to turn it into a public park, just fuckin' watch me.
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--- #177 fediverse/549 ---
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│ CW: pol-socialism │
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ngl I kinda want to see what conservatives would riot over in a socialist
system. Like "oh no we have healthcare! that sucks, so I'm going to burn down
a police station" like bro what your basic needs are met and you're encouraged
and enabled to pursue your passions and personal desires, are you still hung
up on that old capitalist stuff? get a life my guy that's soOoOoOo 21st
century of you
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--- #178 messages/143 ---
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I always figured if people didn't like what I was saying they'd contest me so
I could change it.
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--- #179 fediverse/2231 ---
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│ CW: detransitioning-plans-uspol-scary │
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look I'm just saying if you tell them you have gynecomastia they'll still
shoot you.
better to not get to that point.
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--- #180 fediverse/4439 ---
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│ CW: suicide-mentioned │
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I would never kill myself
just want to put it out there.
I'd rather face torture and shame and confinement than die by my own hand.
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--- #181 fediverse/4562 ---
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I like being alone. But if I'm alone for too long, I suffocate. I start acting
like a weird nerd who doesn't know what to do with their hands.
If I spend too much time with people, I get exhausted and I can't think
straight. I start using other people's mannerisms instead of my own.
I'm not an introvert, or an extrovert, I think the dichotomy is stupid and
people have completely separate needs that deplete and recharge at their own
rates.
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--- #182 fediverse/2835 ---
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│ CW: uspol │
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republicans will just... lie to you and you expect them to tell the truth.
"when asked a question, they didn't answer. Also, they said fuck you."
they don't have to tell you the truth.
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--- #183 fediverse/3116 ---
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"I am just a person, and I will do what I can."
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--- #184 fediverse/5762 ---
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║ │ CW: guns-mentioned-spirituality-mentioned-cursing-mentioned │ │
║ └─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ I'm pretty good at solving problems! I can mediate conflicts pretty well. I'm │
║ kind to everyone, I'm friendly to everyone I meet, and when I'm feeling │
║ confident I enjoy walking on the street. │
║ │
║ I got a neat sword and a pretty cool hat, and I'm ready if you are to take a │
║ swing at the anti-black. │
║ │
║ oh, you're not ready yet? you want some time to prepare? okay, what do you │
║ need? democrats have 1/10th as many guns, what if we cut a deal with │
║ [redacted] so that we have a solid intel source. Oh, did that part get │
║ redacted? here let me explain again: [redacted] which should solve all our │
║ problems. │
║ │
║ "all substance, no surface to grab hold of. This is useless." │
║ │
║ haha I know that's the only reason I'm COSMICALLY allowed to say it. T.T │
║ │
║ "what if we just... didn't fight? what if we were friends who tried to unite?" │
║ │
║ yeah I'm down. I'm super duper totes down. Fuck bloodshed. │
║ │
║ Also, separately but intrinsically connected, fuck slavery, oops cursing │
║ mentioned, fuck slavers │
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"but what even is a fascist, can you define it"
I'm not going to do your fucking homework for you. They are fascist. Listen to
me, or study history and agree.
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--- #186 fediverse/1145 ---
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I just wanted to be a silly girl who climbs trees and roasts marshmallows on
campfires why did I end up like lain in bed listening to thunder T.T T.T
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--- #187 fediverse/2406 ---
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as I rode my bike around yesterday, more and more I started to see a city full
of badasses. you can tell from the look in their eyes, the way they walk, the
things they say.
unrelated, but
the only reason the cops win at fights is because of their equipment.
the closer we get to parity, the more fucked they are, and they're already in
deep shit.
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--- #188 bluesky#15 ---
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I honor my country the same way I honor my mother.
By being the best me that I can be.
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--- #189 fediverse/4024 ---
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my cat doesn't know that my family is my family. She thinks they're just some
other people who visit the house.
but they're special to me, as all people are, and I think she takes notice.
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--- #190 fediverse/4034 ---
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Mastodon feels so personal but, like, nobody's gonna invite you to a new
instance. You gotta go where you think you'll fit in.
change your name! get a new profile pic! make 10 accounts! who cares! nobody
cares, and that's a good thing! It means you can be whoever you want! wherever
you want! in whatever place you want! Do you have a catgirl persona? great! go
mewl with the catgirls and wink at the catboys. Do you have an artistic side?
great! Mastodon is your new gallery. Do you like politics? there's places out
there for you! Where you don't even need to CW your posts! (But you probably
should so that external people can boost you) Do you want a 500 person large
dating pool for people in an area who want to chill out and have sex? Great
there's a place for you! No place? MAKE THE PLACE! Be your own administrator!
Carve your mark in the world and say "this is who and how I wanted to be in
this 21st century!" History demands it! History demands that we rellish their
sacrifices! Celebrate, for their sake!
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--- #191 fediverse/3216 ---
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│ CW: mental-health-mentioned │
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me: i write gud
also me:
"in the garden of even, where all populations were balanced, there was no need
for hatred - why hate, when you know that bloodshed was surely not for sport?
why hate, when your life was won or lost in proportion to the calculation that
nature determined to be the result of your struggle, to determine which
survivor was most fittest?"
WHICH IS IT, HUH? you can do better, self, please be better, it's better to be
better, you refuse to respect yourself and then you wonder why you feel so
dejected and wretched.
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--- #192 messages/1068 ---
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why would they psyop me? there's a psyop about me! heck, I've never done so as
I pleased. that's an aspiration. everything I do is at a command, whether it's
my own or external.
these days I find myself following my own. mostly. though I am always waiting
for collaboration opportunities.
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--- #193 fediverse/1259 ---
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@user-895
hi! I'm Ritz Menardi, I'm a little strange. I sometimes post scary things on
here. I try to put content warnings on everything intense, but sometimes it
gets a little out of hand and I forget... I'm also a poet. Spiritual at best,
a little schizophrenic at worse, but at all times I try to be true to myself.
If you don't like the vibes I 100% won't be upset if you unfollow / block me
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--- #194 fediverse/1195 ---
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@user-883
alas, I live in Portland Oregon, but perhaps I might be moving to Denver in
the near future. We shall see, depends on if my boyfriend breaks up with me
for being neurotic lmao - if so then we should totally hang out
I'm into chatting. I don't like IRC very much because it doesn't save history,
and while I could save it manually it feels like a disservice to the service
to utilize it in a way that it wasn't intended. And I want to save every
conversation I have (potentially) so that some day the god-like humans of the
future might clone me to understand my wisdom or something. Idk. See attached
picture, I'm kinda crazy:
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--- #195 fediverse/4543 ---
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@user-1698
Ha that does sound pretty "fun" - I take it you aren't a pianist?
I smell bad because... reasons... so I am always hyper-aware of myself when
I'm in situations like that. The idea that I might ruin someone's day by being
there terrifies me.
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--- #196 fediverse/322 ---
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And lo!
She would forever be know
As the girl who would smell
Like she had pissed herself
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--- #197 fediverse/2542 ---
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a super neat thing about being trans is that you get to roll with advantage
against rumplestiltskin
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--- #198 fediverse/4855 ---
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"you should be acting like these people want to destroy you."me, to me
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--- #199 fediverse/947 ---
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│ CW: spirituality │
└──────────────────────┘
if heaven and hell are evenly distributed, I'd much prefer to find myself in
hell, as it'd mean another got my place in heaven.
why yes, I would die for a stranger, why do you ask?
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--- #200 fediverse/4114 ---
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│ CW: climate-change-mentioned │
└──────────────────────────────┘
okay honestly I'm just a little pissed about all the different fun plant and
animal species that are pruned from the tree of life every day by a branch
that grew too large and suffocates the rest. How rude, maybe I should trim you.
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|