=== ANCHOR POEM ===
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my hands and my toes are scared that I'm going to do SRS to them and I wish I
knew how to better comfort them.
"it's not true! I would never do that to you."
don't mean much. but...
"there's no reason for me to do that with you - you are not comprised of
erogenous zones which were originally built in a wrong
[configuration/constitution]"
are you saying I can be wrong?
"no no not that just like, a continual part of our growth and development of
our form."
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=== SIMILARITY RANKED ===
--- #1 fediverse/1944 ---
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║ │ CW: sexuality-mentioned │ │
║ └─────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ it's not wrong to be turned on by the thought of being the gender youre │
║ transitioning to. Your subconscious mind is yearning for a healthy sexuality, │
║ nothing more. │
║ │
║ and if you aren't, if you're into "other people" like a weirdo, then yeah sure │
║ what I described probably sounds pretty weird. Oh and it's cool if you aren't │
║ sexually attracted to anyone either. Sometimes being ace is a phase because │
║ sex doesn't really fit into your life, and other times it's more something │
║ that defines you. It is the progenitor of all genders and sexualities that │
║ fluctuate, because it's based on the simplest binary of "yes sexual │
║ attraction" or "no sexual attraction" - with some extra variables to tweak │
║ like "sex positive/negative" or "cuddle-starved/cuddle-slut" type of ranges. │
║ │
║ ... anyway sexuality is weird and if yours made sense then so would that guy, │
║ and that person over there, and the person who lives down the street, and the │
║ other who lives in a blimp and jacks off into the sky calling it "bird poop" │
║ │
║ uh │
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--- #2 fediverse/3238 ---
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I'm not an ABDL, but I can appreciate the aesthetic sometimes because I share
a particular kinship with them due to a medical condition I have and have had.
Plus throw in a bit of Body Integrity Identity Dysmorphia and you get my
messed up relationship to my own physical struggles.
ah, well, what can you do except be open and honest about who you are and what
you believe? If only it wasn't so damn hard.
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--- #3 fediverse/1042 ---
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│ CW: personal-vent-sorry │
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"your feelings are valid, but have you considered that your feelings aren't
actually valid because you're always wrong and nobody should ever apologize to
you for anything because you suck and are wrong?"
also,
"my six digit salary isn't enough to pay for your rice and beans, but I won't
have you eating sticks and mud, so do things you don't want to do because I
said so."
also,
"I don't really "get" your art but that doesn't mean I should ever really try
reading it. Also god forbid I actually ask for clarification like "what does
that part mean" because I'm not actually that interested in you I just want a
stable household so I never get traumatized again like [their childhood]"
also,
"yes I love you but no I don't want to play with you. you're such a cat."
also,
"every time you start making sense I'm going to try and derail the
conversation so that we don't talk about kooky-dookerie because that's a
conversation I can't win"
also,
sorry for venting. I mean, thanks for listeni
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--- #4 fediverse/5330 ---
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│ CW: personal-sexuality-mentioned │
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I used to be aroused at the thought of being a girl. I would read stories and
look at pictures of penises turning into vaginas and men turning into women
and it would fill me with longing, yearning, and despair at my circumstances.
then, I transitioned, got SRS, and now I don't get aroused at the thought of
such things. It's just part of who I am.
I used to be aroused at the thought of wearing diapers. I would read stories
and play games of people being cursed by witches to pee their pants, or people
who were stuck at a movie theater and couldn't make it in time or whatever.
These things would fill me with longing, yearning, and despair.
Plus, I had some medical issues that made me lose track of my... um,
"currently utilized waste storage capacity" inside my body. which put me in
some unfortunate situations right around the time when my sexuality was
developing.
Now, I wear diapers all the time. I don't get aroused at the thought of such
things anymore. It's just me, as I am.
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--- #5 fediverse/972 ---
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for those who live forever in our transhumanist reality, I wonder what's next
beyond transgender transition? transcendence of social norms is a skill, not a
habit. Queer is a rejection of normalcy, something that is actively done.
What's more normal than never having any fun? Clearly "normal" isn't built for
the human condition, clearly "normalcy" is shallow and been done.
considering the amount of people who are really into some culture like
"anime-cons" or "baseball watcher" or "golfer" or "other such hobbys like
fishing or guns"
... normal never existed, it's just a collection of personalities (developed
throughout the history of humanity) that collectively seem to be fun.
"if transitioning is to gender as blossoming is to [the concept of] flowers,
then what is the concept of global warming to the earth we stand on?"
I'm kind of a witch. I'm not really femme, so I don't feel right calling
myself one of them, but I'm something of the sort. I use "she/her" pronouns
because they reflect my softness of c
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--- #6 fediverse/1014 ---
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│ CW: politics │
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@user-744 @user-246
it's exhausting, but what are we supposed to do? Lie down and rot? That's
incel thinking. I'm not going to do that.
They've already placed the last straw. It's only a matter of time now, the
tide has shifted. You can't prepare for everything, and it's not a good idea
to waste yourself in self-conflageration, but they are increasingly forcing us
to orient our lives around them.
They deserve what's coming.
The oppressed are not the defeated.
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--- #7 messages/747 ---
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if you don't want to be hunted, then give "evil" it's own queer culture
what's that? they don't like what you offered? they want it to be *their* kind
of "evil"?
fine, do it themselves and then leave us alone, jeez -.-
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--- #8 fediverse/999 ---
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@user-246 @user-473
there's a part of me that believes magic is real. other parts that are
convinced. I am a witch, you see, and while I can't quite control fire or
bullets I can do other neat things. if you'd let me, humanity.
I'm not doing an ARG, not intentionally. I pretty much post things I conceive
of, like a conduit passed through spacetime. wild how mind bending the future
can be. will be interesting to see what kinds of things there is in store for
people you and me.
those websites you posted... they're beautiful - I learned things, your method
of expression was too [the words "confess" are heard loudly, super weird] I
especially liked the oven that tries to lure you into a secret third place.
not the mind, nor the body, but someplace besides.
also the graphs and figures were news to me, I mean how could those numbers
ever come to be? but alas that's the truth, that we orbit our proof, and alas
that our meanings are lacking.
[ran out of text]
![this one's a doozy. a picture of the "reasons to trust me" graph colored yellow, orange, purple, and blue (in terms of intensity) it looks like a raindrop if it landed on a really tiny blanket and pulled it downward. or like, a person landing on a trampoline that was secured in four locations. anyway the text reads "like four people sharing the weight of an experience with bacchus [referencing the color of the graph], their perspective is pulled just a little bit in that direction, over and across the gap between eyeballs. or rather, between shared perspectives, the point of view of which one bases their experience. their training for the "reasons to trust me" graph. 2, in black and green and red, colors meant to be cool to a 12 year old - "the color doesn't matter... wine? why" 3 dropping down the page, there's a line of "please" written over and over again. it's scary. : ( I'm doing my best I promise, it's hard not to be in a state of unease! I'm working, I promise, this is valuable. you know they'd block me if they didn't like me. error, 3. that's me, teehee, sorry for making a scene. I promise I'm just an actor, someone who is playing a role. well, alas that were true, I'm really having a mental disorder. Or maybe I'm confused? down here in the subtext it's hard to be choosed. weird how that works, that feeling of being wor [text is cut off, next line] okay I'm realizing there's no way to get it all in this visual description, here let me continue in a second chapter:](/similar-different/media/ed0f1d89739fe8c6.png "this one's a doozy. a picture of the \"reasons to trust me\" graph colored yellow, orange, purple, and blue (in terms of intensity) it looks like a raindrop if it landed on a really tiny blanket and pulled it downward. or like, a person landing on a trampoline that was secured in four locations. anyway the text reads \"like four people sharing the weight of an experience with bacchus [referencing the color of the graph], their perspective is pulled just a little bit in that direction, over and across the gap between eyeballs. or rather, between shared perspectives, the point of view of which one bases their experience. their training for the \"reasons to trust me\" graph. 2, in black and green and red, colors meant to be cool to a 12 year old - \"the color doesn't matter... wine? why\" 3 dropping down the page, there's a line of \"please\" written over and over again. it's scary. : ( I'm doing my best I promise, it's hard not to be in a state of unease! I'm working, I promise, this is valuable. you know they'd block me if they didn't like me. error, 3. that's me, teehee, sorry for making a scene. I promise I'm just an actor, someone who is playing a role. well, alas that were true, I'm really having a mental disorder. Or maybe I'm confused? down here in the subtext it's hard to be choosed. weird how that works, that feeling of being wor [text is cut off, next line] okay I'm realizing there's no way to get it all in this visual description, here let me continue in a second chapter:")
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--- #9 fediverse/2169 ---
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@user-570
Ah, well, that time period for me was after I came out, so I was already past
the fear of being seen.
I could only ever really get the "girl thoughts" to go away with, um,
self-directed sexual attention, so I would often do so. Once every day, no
more than once. But... often for hours at a time. It was a LOT, but I resisted
as best I could, the only way I knew how, until eventually my internals would
overcome.
... anyway "girl thoughts" were just "my thoughts" I was just too much of a
dumbass to tell.
Like, I knew I was trans, but I didn't want that, because it felt like a flaw.
Because that's what I knew, that's what I'd heard, and that's how it felt, to
be denied the consistency of biology and person.
I would never go back. I love who I am, and I think if I had met me I would
have adored who I'd become.
I just... didn't think about the future much, hyper-vigilant much? Yeah.
totally. I get it.
I've never overdone things. At least not to a dangerous degree. It's mostly
just... stuff to me.
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--- #10 fediverse/6139 ---
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│ CW: law-enforcement-as-a-topic-and-discipline-mentioned-or-as-the-lads-like-to-call-it-the-political-will-weaponization-program-en-force-mentioned │
└──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
what if it was a constitutional amendment that all measures of law enforcement
must be done with parity of force
well, that's a heuristic for being right, but not an uncommon one among the
out of sight.
[I'm confusing because I have no idea how to best use me]
oh uh, yeah it uh aligns towards being "right" which we think means being
"true". and it does this by giving unlimited potential interactions where a
rational being could be convinced to be wrong. owning weapons and knowing how
to use them (not just storing them for safekeeping) is an invitation for equal
force, but to all an even and replete interaction. "
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--- #11 fediverse/1950 ---
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I honestly don't care if someone deadnames me, or calls me the wrong pronouns,
or forgets to put me in the girl section, or asks me to sing baritone
like... I don't give a shit, why are you so worried about all this vapid
nonsense like yeah I get it, being disrespected sucks but like... why do you
want the kind of respect that is a forced platitude
we could all do with being a bit more radical, it's not a race and everyone's
roles are important. Be yourself, and follow people you want to be like.
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--- #12 fediverse/1358 ---
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│ CW: content warning: content warning: scary cursed maybe │
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when you're rich with something, you don't treat it with respect. like, if we
lived in a paper cup maximizer, we'd soon be swimming in the things. obviously
there needs to be some rules, obviously we need to say "okay here's where we
produce this amount and type of materials." and have it be a one-way
relationship. yeah one way isn't gonna work. this is from the other way, and
now I'm realizing "oh hey I don't know how this thing works" and like... what
are you supposed to do then right
weird how it all feels like it's ending. like, what a strangeness to our
plight. like, how are we even talking to our brain? how strange! these words
are sung to you by your computer (content warning:
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--- #13 fediverse/1399 ---
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║ │ CW: cursing-mentioned-eye-contact │ │
║ └───────────────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ If you're worried about passing, take what you're good at and make it gay. │
║ │
║ Do you wear band t-shirts and black jeans? Great you're an emo girl now, │
║ totally reasonable transitionary state before you end up as a cute anime girl │
║ with spinny uwu dresses or whatever your heart desires │
║ │
║ do you generally stick to jeans and sweatshirts? Okay congrats you're just as │
║ cute, don't feel inadequate just because you like being comfy. Hell yeah │
║ you're cute as fuck, you know you are, I mean just look at that smile! Wow damn │
║ │
║ like, switch the gender, not the vibe. not only will other people be cool with │
║ it but also, like, you won't alter the course of your trajectory. │
║ │
║ unless that's what you want, but TBH if you're both enigmatic AND phlegmatic │
║ [EDIT: but like the opposite of phlegmatic, I always get the definition wrong] │
║ then you can change a lot and people won't rely on you to be a certain way. │
║ │
║ ... you know you can delete things before you post them, right? Ha I've never │
║ even heard of the word. │
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--- #14 fediverse/1126 ---
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│ CW: re: plurality question, boost appreciated but optional cannabis-mentioned │
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@user-841
CW: cannabis-mentioned
for me my identities are sorta like masks that an actor would play while
performing multiple characters in a scene. The actor still knows the totality
of all the lines each character delivers, but they give a performance in a
different voice and from a different perspective.
like, "moods" a person might be in, or perhaps just frames of view.
I don't talk to other plural system people, and the ones that I do talk to
tend to have a more disassociated conception of identity politics than I do.
Either I haven't met someone who was built like me or I'm just strange : )
that being said, I have a pretty bad memory. maybe it's related! or maybe it's
the cannabis. oops better add a content warning.
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--- #15 fediverse/2051 ---
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@user-883
i've never heard of most of these
but I think I might belong on eldritch.cafe
... maybe void.rehab
well actually I'm a lot of tech.lgbt
hmmmmm on Reddit it's nice because you can subscribe to various communities
I wish you could do that with Mastodon, to express your particular affiliation.
... or perhaps we should not be building scenes, but rather communities.
(just based on the name)
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--- #16 fediverse/2466 ---
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do as I say, and as I do.
or don't, do as you want to.
I hope you do want to do what I say to do.
I wouldn't say it if I didn't think it was right.
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--- #17 fediverse/711 ---
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║ ┌──────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: trans-witches │ │
║ └──────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ they say witches are scary, and yeah they're not wrong │
║ │
║ but they also say witches are ugly, and I think they just didn't have kind │
║ words for trans people back then. │
║ │
║ I mean, I'm gorgeous and so are you. I've no warts, nor green skin, but I do │
║ grow hair in unbecoming places. Like the tip of my chinny-chin-chin, and also │
║ on top of my toes. │
║ │
║ they also say witches are magic, and I guess that's true (I suppose). I mean, │
║ I wear quite strange clothes, for a man at least. It's quite normal for a she, │
║ which is what I was meant to be, if only I was just born right. │
║ │
║ Alas, oh well, I'll just take a little green pill, and BAM suddenly I've got │
║ huge boobs. Okay they're not huge, they're pretty normal. But C is larger than │
║ zero. │
║ │
║ they also say that witches write spells, and I sure do love to program. With │
║ my most familiar cat (who often does sleep in my hat), I find myself yearning │
║ for nuance. │
║ │
║ Meh, it's late at night, I think I'll think not of the plight, and instead │
║ just will dream of defusals. I don't know~ │
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--- #18 fediverse/4768 ---
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│ CW: pol+ │
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the more they have to do to make us declare war, the worse it'll be for their
citizenry. So long as the citizenry believes they're better, and everything we
can do to convince them otherwise weakens their media weather.
who cares about trans executive orders. they are our enemy, what else is new?
they have power now, and they will try what they can. This is like taking the
internet away from chinese citizens and instituting a national intranet
instead. Like, okay, we won't be able to get estrogen from the store. Who
cares? We'll just make our own.
If people actually care about us, which they overwhelmingly do, there's very
little materially they can do.
until they're further down the "first they came for..." list. then they'll
come for us liberals, and gosh wouldn't that just be the worst. Who is there
to contest them? What valorous warriors indeed.
you're asking for mountains from a mole. have peace, have patience, let your
allies intercede. This kind of thing requires discusion to protect life
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--- #19 fediverse/1251 ---
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@user-889
it sounds like you're having a real tough time. : (
you can get through it, I know you can. On the other side is something warm
and safe, but to get there it's going to be hard and painful. I don't know
exactly what you're working with but if you want someone to talk to about it
you can message me.
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--- #20 fediverse/2347 ---
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│ CW: uspol │
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I personally think that it's better to act before the liberals have a chance
to hand power over to the fascists.
when? well, that depends. Are you part of a large and massive organization
that accomplishes great and beautiful things with incredible efficiency... but
rather slowly? Then yeah get working. I'm sure you already are.
Are you just a person, like me? Then go do things that don't raise the
temperature too much, but make you feel more confident and inspire those
around you.
Like, bricks at cop cars is one way to go, but you're probably gonna get
arrested. And then you're useless when we need you.
BUT if you meet with your friends and make plans for where to go, what to
bring, who to know, and what to sing (if you're the musical types) then great!
Go do that.
If you're reading this and thinking "I'm not gonna do that, I have a plan
that's so much better" then yeah do that instead. I don't mind. Just... don't
hurt innocent (ignorant) people, because if you do then you are my foe.
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--- #21 fediverse/2727 ---
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@user-1331
it would be SO nice to be able to scan my brain and know what gender I am.
It's confusing up there!
when I said something similar on Reddit tho people called me "truscum" and
"transmedicalist" >.>
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--- #22 fediverse/4559 ---
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│ CW: politics-mentioned-violence-mentioned │
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"grrrrr I'm so mad, I could just, I dunno, shoot a CEO as he's leaving a hotel"
or, hear me out, or you could connect with your local radical networks and,
or, almost there, or you could build solidarity with the people around you to
better develop methods of resisting the kinds of change they will implement
to, um, "discourage" people from "being so mad they could just"
or both. both is good. not that I'm encouraging, recommending, or inciting
that kind of violence. don't notice me three-letter senpai uwu
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--- #23 fediverse/3839 ---
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│ CW: socialism-recycling-mentioned3 │
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"I'm not really a designer, though."
what about that desk you designed?
"oh, yeah I guess that counts. I haven't gotten around to building it though
so I'm not a real designer."
what! don't say that, you designed it didn't you? How about this - I know this
girl who wants to be a carpenter but she doesn't have any idea what kind of
projects to work on. How about I put you two in a room together and she can
build your desk. If it goes well, I can hook you up with someone who organizes
designers and he can get you into a furniture design course at the library.
"Hmmmm, well that seems alright. But I don't really want to work with people!
I mean, I don't know her - what if she doesn't like me?"
oh, she can be a little spicy sometimes, but I'm sure you'll hit it off. Just
don't mention rats, she had a pet pass away recently and she's still a little
broken up about it.
"... okay I think I can manage that."
besides, working with people is the best! I do it every day!
"I'll try"
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--- #24 fediverse/2592 ---
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┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: politics-fascism-sexual-assault-mentioned │
└───────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
I learned a lot last night, and I'm pretty sure that everything I say is going
to be censored. Why would you allow resistance in such a public place?
I don't know what else to do, though. He will come for me, he knows where I
live, and I will do what I can to fight him.
He's much stronger than me. He's much more massive than me. He will kill me.
But that's not the point, is it?
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--- #25 fediverse/5681 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────
I'm a helper and everyone wants me to be more agentic but it's like... no... I
don't wanna...
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--- #26 fediverse/3031 ---
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the things that I suggest we do when we hang out are not because those are the
things I most want to do, but rather because they are the things that I think
you'd want to do.
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--- #27 fediverse/3765 ---
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┌──────────────────────────┐
│ CW: capitalism-mentioned │
└──────────────────────────┘
me: "the entire capitalist project is borken! We must start from scratch! We
can start from scratch! For the good of all mankind, we shall utilize our vast
potential for good and benevolent ends, and to that end we must begin by
dismantling capitalism!"
also me: "hey what if we made capitalism suck less"
because like, I don't know the future. I'm just a person, remember? wink
gotta have backup plans ready no matter which way it goes.
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--- #28 fediverse/3269 ---
╔════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────┐
║ "oh, you're a doctor? okay this case that involves medical knowledge doesn't │
║ involve you." │
║ │
║ "are you a computer programmer? okay part of the evidence involves screenshots │
║ of computers, so you can return to work." │
║ │
║ "stay at home mom / hikkikimori? great, you don't have to do the thing that │
║ you didn't really want to do and can instead relax at home like you always do │
║ while handling all the bothersome things of being home all the time." │
║ │
║ the jury of our peers, comprised of peers of peers, not necessarily the peers │
║ of those who know them. │
║ │
║ like... isn't that how court should be? the examination of the truth, based on │
║ the understandings gathered by people who know them? │
║ │
║ ... only works in a peaceful society, and it means that everyone would │
║ necessarily be involved in everyone else's life. That's... not ideal, not │
║ always, but it's something to do on occasion. In a contested world, you cannot │
║ trust that someone will always be telling the truth. You need to parse the │
║ information given, and build your own understandin │
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║ similar │ chronological │ different │
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--- #29 fediverse/3296 ---
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┌───────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: medical cartoon of genitals, lewd │
└───────────────────────────────────────────┘
@user-192
I loved anatomy textbooks because they gave me an abstraction of things that I
could touch and feel
I learned to project my trans-girl [target-of-gender-euphoria] thoughts onto
the mental model I had constructed of how it all worked. It helped me
conceptualize how humans are configured.
I also had bladder issues growing up so I liked to conceptualize that
structure too
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--- #30 fediverse/5056 ---
╔═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────┐
║ ┌──────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: politi │ │
║ └──────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ republicans break things until you fight back, democrats keep people working │
║ to keep the line steady on the graph. │
║ │
║ one is an agitating force, the other is calming. │
║ │
║ I don't like the direction the line is going, so I'm pretty much "anti-line" │
║ in general │
║ │
║ kinda want it all to disappear │
║ │
║ like... what's the point, what's the purpose, of suffering and heartship and │
║ worrel? │
║ │
║ I think we could have no borders, and think less of the line in general. │
║ │
║ I'm more concerned with my time. I have too much to do to spend 8 hours of it │
║ so many times making the human computer calculgoable │
║ │
║ [unrelated, but humans are unsure about gender transition hormones because in │
║ addition to all the trans people who take these body and mind altering tools, │
║ also there are people who want to excape suspicion and also people who are │
║ genuinely incapable of their decisions (for one reason or another) and who am │
║ I to tell them no] │
║ │
║ unrelated, but I think society, the human computer, is cool. [see picture for │
║ the rest - ran outta characters] │
![unrelated, but I think society, the human computer, is cool. we're all working to solve problems. I love that attitude. [unrelated, but I think anyone going through psychosis or mind-stacking techniques should document their experience as comprehensively as possible in order to better illuminate the nature and function of the human organism. whyfor is this strange rootlike structure ever-present all throughout their [forms, but I got lost halfway through thinking aboutthat frustrating shape]] a government could keep it's borderlands air-gapped from all human interaction ("oh yeah there's nothing beyond that hill, don't worry about going over there and several hills beyond. there's nothing that way for miiiiiiiiiiiiiles and miles so don't even think about taking another toe-step toward that way distance over there. oh? a massive pillar of smoke the size of great britain? way off in the distance, farther than you could possibly hope? that's probably nothing. don't worry about it. you don't know anyone who lives that way. ... wait what was I talking about? oh yes. sometimes it's important to make notes in public so you can remember just what it was that you said. I like leaving my completed notebooks out and about and around. can always drop something for someone just because. maybe someone you recognize something familiar with, like "oh that's a pokemon hat" or "neat they wear diapers too" or "I also pronounce it like that"](/similar-different/media/7d61a9770ac4b21a.png "unrelated, but I think society, the human computer, is cool. we're all working to solve problems. I love that attitude. [unrelated, but I think anyone going through psychosis or mind-stacking techniques should document their experience as comprehensively as possible in order to better illuminate the nature and function of the human organism. whyfor is this strange rootlike structure ever-present all throughout their [forms, but I got lost halfway through thinking aboutthat frustrating shape]] a government could keep it's borderlands air-gapped from all human interaction (\"oh yeah there's nothing beyond that hill, don't worry about going over there and several hills beyond. there's nothing that way for miiiiiiiiiiiiiles and miles so don't even think about taking another toe-step toward that way distance over there. oh? a massive pillar of smoke the size of great britain? way off in the distance, farther than you could possibly hope? that's probably nothing. don't worry about it. you don't know anyone who lives that way. ... wait what was I talking about? oh yes. sometimes it's important to make notes in public so you can remember just what it was that you said. I like leaving my completed notebooks out and about and around. can always drop something for someone just because. maybe someone you recognize something familiar with, like \"oh that's a pokemon hat\" or \"neat they wear diapers too\" or \"I also pronounce it like that\"")
!["I also pronounce it like that" -> "you got the colors" hell yeah I do. I'll show you with what that piece I'm gonna do. [heh, nice notebook nerd, wonder what's inside] [whoa cool a secret diary, I wonder what's worth more than that?] [oh dear, some kid lost their drawings. I should go find them and show their parents until I find one who recognizes it.] [ugh people leaving receipts all over the place. what a mess.] [oh someone dropped their envelope on the way to the mailbox, I'll just go put it in] [is that a pack of cigarettes? looks unopened] [huh, neat, a 20$ bill - is this anyone's? no? okay I'm keeping it] [you don't have to say these out loud, not unless someone's looking for them] [inside voices]](/similar-different/media/7cfab439e208e724.png "\"I also pronounce it like that\" -> \"you got the colors\" hell yeah I do. I'll show you with what that piece I'm gonna do. [heh, nice notebook nerd, wonder what's inside] [whoa cool a secret diary, I wonder what's worth more than that?] [oh dear, some kid lost their drawings. I should go find them and show their parents until I find one who recognizes it.] [ugh people leaving receipts all over the place. what a mess.] [oh someone dropped their envelope on the way to the mailbox, I'll just go put it in] [is that a pack of cigarettes? looks unopened] [huh, neat, a 20$ bill - is this anyone's? no? okay I'm keeping it] [you don't have to say these out loud, not unless someone's looking for them] [inside voices]")
!["I also pronounce it like that" -> "you got the colors" hell yeah I do. I'll show you with what that piece I'm gonna do. [heh, nice notebook nerd, wonder what's inside] [whoa cool a secret diary, I wonder what's worth more than that?] [oh dear, some kid lost their drawings. I should go find them and show their parents until I find one who recognizes it.] [ugh people leaving receipts all over the place. what a mess.] [oh someone dropped their envelope on the way to the mailbox, I'll just go put it in] [is that a pack of cigarettes? looks unopened] [huh, neat, a 20$ bill - is this anyone's? no? okay I'm keeping it] [you don't have to say these out loud, not unless someone's looking for them] [inside voices]](/similar-different/media/811253fae94ccfdd.png "\"I also pronounce it like that\" -> \"you got the colors\" hell yeah I do. I'll show you with what that piece I'm gonna do. [heh, nice notebook nerd, wonder what's inside] [whoa cool a secret diary, I wonder what's worth more than that?] [oh dear, some kid lost their drawings. I should go find them and show their parents until I find one who recognizes it.] [ugh people leaving receipts all over the place. what a mess.] [oh someone dropped their envelope on the way to the mailbox, I'll just go put it in] [is that a pack of cigarettes? looks unopened] [huh, neat, a 20$ bill - is this anyone's? no? okay I'm keeping it] [you don't have to say these out loud, not unless someone's looking for them] [inside voices]")
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--- #31 messages/1035 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────
Did you know I'm post-op trans hrt? It means i have a vagina castrated.
Definitely a big girl, but no periods and injected.
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--- #32 fediverse/4103 ---
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@user-246
I prefer just plain old "trans" and "cis" because then I can pretend "trans"
stands for "transcendental" and hell yeah I'd rather transcend gender than
transition through it
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--- #33 fediverse/956 ---
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┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: spirituality │
└──────────────────────┘
@user-579
it's not self loathing if you consent to it... right?
... right?
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #34 fediverse/2518 ---
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it's good to be ethical,
it's good to be kind,
but there will always be assholes,
and sometimes you're not having a good time
it's okay
it's fine
assholes deserve life
times deserve others to be kind
life is not always interesting
and that's often by design
the moments of clarity,
the moments of heart,
these are what define you
and display your own spark.
trust in yourself.
be kind to one another.
you are braver than you know,
and always a bit wiser.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
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--- #35 fediverse/3316 ---
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┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: medical-marijuana-mentioned-personal-health-mentioned │
└───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
Considering the fact that medical care is so expensive, surely that means the
expertise, labor, materials, and infrastructural capability to address
people's health and well-being is in tight supply.
meaning, for things I can understand and live with, I should avoid seeking
help because those resources could be applied toward some cause that can't be
lived with, or is not understood. If it doesn't cause distress, don't touch it.
"babe you literally piss yourself on accident if you forget to go to the
bathroom, what's your plan"
oh um how kind of you to ask, uh, it's mostly just to close my ears and hope
it goes away. like the weird thunder last night haha I'm pretty sure it wasn't
raining but I might have just been stoned?
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #36 fediverse/169 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────────
@user-95 one of the most empathetic people I ever met on VR chat was consoling
me with their mic off while I was oversharing about some stupid things people
did to me in the past. things that stupid me thought were okay and actively
encouraged because I was stupid. anyway when their mic was off their body
language spoke for them. I'll try that next time.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #37 fediverse/6314 ---
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┌─────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: scary-biomedical-cannabis-mentioned │
└─────────────────────────────────────────────┘
girl, estrogen. It's right there. Get a pink tooth every 6 months and never
worry about injections again.
"don't promise things if you can't promise to fulfill them"
man I'm not promising anything, it's literally just a random thought idea.
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--- #38 fediverse/2292 ---
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I don't know who needs to hear this after staying up all night driving, but
it's ideal to get where you're going with at least a day to rest. The body can
only do so much, and isn't it better to be fresh?
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--- #39 fediverse/393 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────
sometimes I'd like to scream
as this life is like a dream
deranged a bit in my musings.
... what happened to the third line. WHERE DID IT GO. It was just here. Oh
well, guess I can't trust my ephemeral existence to inscribe my eternal
persistence upon and along these mewlings.
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--- #40 fediverse/2031 ---
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@user-1074
We've always been that way in their eyes. If they make it legal, nothing will
change in how people think of you. They might be a bit bolder if there's fewer
legal protections, but laws have always just been words.
There are more of us than there are of them. If you have community, you'll
feel safer. I know it's scary but we can get through it together.
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--- #41 fediverse/4554 ---
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┌──────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: political-violence-mentioned │
└──────────────────────────────────┘
can't fucking wait till we're done eating the rich and I can go back to a
simple life of playing with my cat, making video games, writing poetry (bad
poetry, but I like it) and hanging out with my friends.
gotta build the social infrastructure to get through this phase first, though.
something something echo chambers exist IRL too
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--- #42 fediverse/825 ---
╔══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────┐
║ in the past, for most of there day, there was just... nothing to do. it's │
║ like, nothing to take up your time, nothing to be pulled toward the present. │
║ │
║ but when I was growing up, I had access to video games. and movies. and later, │
║ TV, after the internet, which was a weird combination of ordering of events. │
║ Almost like because of that, I'd have a different interpretation of events. │
║ yeah but like, there's always a continuation of implemented support, [that's a │
║ weird way to express "the state of being shown news broadcasts over a period │
║ of time, measured in terms of engagement"] │
║ │
║ ... what was I saying? oh yeah what I'm doing here is unethical, like │
║ obviously I shouldn't be shouting in such a public place. Why would I do it if │
║ not for an intense and extreme feeling of being ignored or un-[trusted, worthy │
║ of guiding direction based on merit] gosh merit is such a tricky concept too, │
║ like how is it measured, and {that doesn't matter │
║ │
║ ... what was I saying oh yeah I should probably go shout into a void that │
║ nobody ca │
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--- #43 fediverse/5486 ---
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┌───────────────────────┐
│ CW: cursing-mentioned │
└───────────────────────┘
"ew but they're dirty"
oh yeah true
okay new plan how much do you think it'll cost to buy a hotel
[this is why the socialists invented buy-in]
"I don't think socialists did that??"
buy in, hmmmm, what's that? oh yeah it's when you say "hey what if we X'd" and
they said "yes I agree with you because you present a reasonable estimate on
reality"
{uh hi I just got a message from "some-nowhere" here ya go: "oh my god she's
fuckig instane}
[ugh cursing-mentioned, that means there's fewer characters to transmote.]
[no because then I'd run out of steam and it'd be incomplete. Plus sometimes I
like the distraction of a reasonable limitation.]
(okay, but are YOU worth it?)
leave her alone she's working her charms, this is how witches d-do.
"so, isn't the point to give yourselves the coverage of a location
transmutation? so, wouldn't you want to find someone alike and share their
life?"
what is even the point, why even bother, just give them
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--- #44 fediverse/507 ---
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┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: death-mentioned │
└──────────────────────┘
Good night, I sure hope I'm the same person in the morning and not an
assassinated version of myself that has been produced through the manufactured
proceedings of an LLM or otherwise self computerized contriving designed to
align to the purpose of my expression (with a few added caveats)! Talk to you
later, I love you all! Wait, I don't know you. How can I love you? Easy, it's
my default. Anyway goodnight, sleep is death and dreams are the bounty of
reality.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #45 fediverse/2286 ---
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┌──────────────────────────┐
│ CW: uspol-food-mentioned │
└──────────────────────────┘
... dangit, these sandwiches are getting kinda gross. Guess I'm gonna have to
eat them myself, which, uh... idk what I expected xD
sometimes you just have all this energy, right? and you don't know what to do
with it, so... sandwiches. And hey, sandwiches are cool, they're a pretty neat
anti-hunger tool! but uhhhh idk if I really want to eat six whole sandwiches
myself. I'm gonna do it though hehe wish me luck [ding] ah nuts my rice and
beans are done, hang on lemme eat those first
[passes out from exhaustion]
exhaustion can be cured with a nap
exertion can be cured with water and a few rest days
trauma can be allayed for at least a few days with soul food and compassion.
maybe laughter too, depending on the mood.
fear can be bolstered with a smile, a wink, and a courageous act,
and loss is just change you didn't consent to.
they won't consent too, so let's give them some change to tolerate.
[internally salivating over all the piles of weaponry that I envision them
surrendering]
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--- #46 messages/643 ---
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I'm not here to convince you. If you're reading this, odds are we already
agree.
I'm here to give you memetic weapons to use when convincing *liberals* to wake
the fuck up and check the time.
Don't fucking talk to conservatives anymore. Unless you got a thing going and
you're close to deradicalizing / converting them already. It's not worth it
anymore, and I fear for their souls, but we need to focus on building a
bedrock of support rather than wasting compassion on our enemies-to-be.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #47 fediverse/3434 ---
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┌─────────────────────────┐
│ CW: mental-health-minus │
└─────────────────────────┘
me: "I don't care what anyone thinks as long as I'm a force for good"
also me: "if anyone doesn't like me ever I'll throw myself off a bridge"
also me: "hey watch this" dissolves into a puddle of acid
also me: "the most important thing is to be good and learn lessons" what
lessons are you learning from this post? "um. that I shouldn't?" ... shouldn't
learn? "no, shouldn't post" -.-
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--- #48 fediverse/4024 ---
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my cat doesn't know that my family is my family. She thinks they're just some
other people who visit the house.
but they're special to me, as all people are, and I think she takes notice.
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--- #49 fediverse/1124 ---
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┌──────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: Transposting, request for advice │
└──────────────────────────────────────────┘
@user-255
we are our own worst critics. But hey assuming he's right, trusting the
validity of his experience, then I'd say:
some people are born short and ugly, just gotta be confident and people will
gravitate to you.
"he may be an ugly son-of-a-gun but he's pretty good at [insert thing he's
proud of being good at]" that kinda vibe
though I will say there's very few truly ugly humans, we're all beautiful in
our own ways. Just gotta find a presentation that you like and that aligns
with the expression of your innermost form. That's how we express ourselves to
the world in a way that others can understand and make sense of - the quality
of our representation of our selves determines how it's perceived.
especially for trans people... "passing" is essentially "how much does this
person A. confine to gender norms and B. go above and beyond to hide parts of
themselves that typically are associated with their opposite gender (the
social role they were raised to perform)
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--- #50 fediverse/1157 ---
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┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: personal-woe │
└──────────────────────┘
oh no, apparently I'm gonna be forced to drop out of university again in 9
days unless I do half a course and a final exam before then.
Tell me again why I spent the last 6 months doing nothing? Oh yeah the mental
illness, that's it. Yeesh you're such a drama queen, just do your work and
you'll be good.
what's that? intrusive thoughts time? Don't you mean "nap until they go away"
time? oh yeah that's probably at least part of the problem with the whole
"dropping out" thing.
If only I didn't have the same reaction to "doing things I don't want to do"
that most people have to "touching hot stoves", that'd be nice.
my mother's voice ripples across space and time "you're such a smart boy, if
you just apply yourself you can do anything! You can do anything you put your
mind to. I believe in you and I love you." thanks mom
brrrrr it's so cold here. wish I could afford to run the heater. - actually no
I don't because it's not solar powered and I refuse to use fossil fuels if I
have blankets >.>
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--- #51 fediverse/4661 ---
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┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: cursed-scary-ghost-posting-politics-genocide-gestured-at-cursing-mentioned │
└──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
what if we took an archive of all of fedi and fed it to users who are hiding
in bunkers or whatever one day at a time so they could still feel like they're
part of society while
---- so ----
I think I should stop ya right there, if there's bunkers involved then we've
already lost. "but muh transgender artifacts" fuck off, I will not concede. If
society wants me to leave, then they can enjoy their dusty rotten future
without me. See if I care.
---- so ----
hence, the curse. do you punish humans for the sins they commit, or do you
teach them how to be good again? Bah, as if they'd listen. Stupid fucking apes.
they're the best we got
yeah, well, they can fuck off, I'm gonna pout for at least half an eternity.
... Okay it won't be that long but still, gimme some time to wind down.
---- so ----
and no, I refuse to elaborate for all the humans in the audience. This
conversation may or may not have actually occurred. Monologue style
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--- #52 fediverse/3370 ---
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I know it's not like that but I'm intentionally framing it that way to make a
point about societal exclusion.
nobody should be excluded.
nobody should have to harm their friends to come by making them sacrifice
their [time/labor/paycheck] in order to bring them along.
we live in a post scarcity society that insists on commodification of
everything
we don't have to. A better world is within reach. It sits there, twinkling
like asbestos resting at the base of a snowglobe, while we search and ponder
and endlessly analyze how society sucks.
there is nothing left to analyze. all that we need is to put our hands to a
task and our feet to grass.
the rest will come, and it'll come easier with time and focused attention.
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--- #53 fediverse/5374 ---
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@user-138
me neither... guess it's in-person for me.
[a mysterious "they" then proceeds to set up microphones everywhere I might go]
ah nuts why are all these people carrying phones around
[they already know who I am, and I don't really want to be someone else, so]
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--- #54 fediverse/518 ---
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@user-366 @user-367 @user-246 @user-353
Perhaps I'm strange, but I like to take that particular joy that you're
describing in essentially every piece of media I consume. Not as a vengeful
feeling, but rather just a product of the idea that I cannot truly know the
intentions of those who created it, so I approach my understanding of it from
an angle that is aligned according to my own experience. Which means that my
conclusion lands somewhere they (presumably) didn't intend...
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--- #55 fediverse/3302 ---
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"this game is too hard" she whined, as she played on the hardest difficulty
setting
"this game is too long" she pleaded, as she failed to get absorbed by the
story and characters
"this game is too fast" she avoided, as life comes at ya once and then it's
gone
"I'll never get another chance to be who I am right now" she remarked, as she
considered how society is designed not to have the best life, but to extract
labor from us. That's not what our ideal should be, she thinks to me, and I'm
like... bro figure your shit out you're harshing my mellow
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--- #56 fediverse/4470 ---
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to be "rich" is to have more than another.
if you are happy, they are happiness poor.
if you have community, they are alone.
if you have serenity, they are chaotic.
I am rich in very little but fire in my soul.
I have enough in most cases, but I still struggle to pay rent.
I am warmed by the pearl my swirling darkness has coalesced into. It nourishes
me and keeps me aligned.
Never forget your purpose and your truth. It will not abandon you, so long as
you do so too.
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--- #57 messages/1207 ---
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I'm proud of my parent's generation for having a good lifetime. The end is
getting a little weird, but we're working on it. It'll get better soon.
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--- #58 notes/elective-democracy-electors ---
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we need like, several more layers between us and the president.
most people only need to worry about what's nearby.
sort them by location, instead of previous attempts at "many representatives"
which sorted by social class or relevance.
we have a tradition for it, in America, with our representatives and senators
congressional discrestricts
or even, what about by affiliation?
voluntary, governmental corporations, run by the people for the people and yeah
"I don't want to do what you're telling me to do" "okay"
"there will be consequences" omg be an adult
(suddenly kids forget how to be as everyone's doing the war thing)
not ideal.
ouch pain maybe we should stay a little bit sane why is soldiering so hardship?
it could just be... another job
where you didn't kill each other
but you still blew stuff up
and fought in tournaments
and had gaming hackathons
or sword-fight contests
duels between people who disapproved
y'know fun human stuff
like... "kaboom" now we know how to blow up bits of rock
neat, why did dynamite becauswer (oh right then you
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--- #59 fediverse/4168 ---
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"have a good day" is so imperative. Like, what you expect me to do all the
work? Just because I'm a witch doesn't mean I can just magic you into having a
good day!
"have a good day" is better, but still it doesn't work if you don't expect it
to work. Spells aren't magic, after all, they're solely based on the victim uh
I mean target's intuitions.
"have a good day" is probably best for me, so I try to say that when I see
people. This way you don't get any [redacted]'s occurring, and you won't have
any trouble aligning the [redacted]. On the flip side, [redacted], so perhaps
it's better to just grin and bear it.
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--- #60 fediverse/4440 ---
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┌───────────────────────┐
│ CW: politics-changing │
└───────────────────────┘
do you know ANYONE ELSE saying the same things as me?
if not, then you know who is ready to lead.
if so, then don't tell me about them, and don't show them me. It would be nice
to know that I'm not alone, though.
I know you're scared. I'm scared too. It's not like I've done this before
(well, except for a dress rehearsal or two)
We're on the same side. We're getting ready to move. Now is the time to go, so
get ready or be purged.
We will not relent our land they seek to steal. We will not defy them in
unjust ways. They have taken so much from us, so now they must face our blades.
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--- #61 fediverse/2090 ---
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don't feed bread to birds, it absorbs their stomach acid and expands in their
tummy and makes them feel full when they're not. Then they get confused why
they don't have energy when they need it.
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--- #62 fediverse/1447 ---
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the gay urge to hang out with men
the lesbian urge to hang out with women
the trans urge to see other trans people naked
... I mean, uh... I'm perfectly normal and reasonable look at me being a
massive qt
... the queer urge to find your people
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--- #63 fediverse/537 ---
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@user-366 @user-367 @user-246 @user-353
Ah yes, wouldn't it be nice if everyone spoke their mind? I'm doing my part
d=(^_^)z
Thank you for adding context to what I posted. I now know better how and where
to use it, if I ever do again. We shall see, I haven't yet read the
examinations of the author you sent me. I'll do that before I think about the
post again.
Those 6 tabs I mentioned last night have now become 4, and soon I'll get
through all of them - reading is a joy to me ^_^
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--- #64 fediverse/4469 ---
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doom is like sand thrown on a fire.
don't spread it unless you are intentional about it. sometimes it's good to
smother fires. other times it's cathartic. that's okay.
but keep in mind the future goals. where are we trying to get to in the near
future? work towards that. your emotions are fuel, not despair to wallow in.
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--- #65 fediverse/5017 ---
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you don't have to like someone to be in a community with them.
you don't have to want what's happening to consent to it.
enthusiastic consent is like friendship. It doesn't have to be present, but
it's what you optimize for.
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--- #66 fediverse/353 ---
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┌──────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: Trans yearning hrt-mentioned │
└──────────────────────────────────────┘
@user-255
sooooooon, all things in time. Someday you'll be like me - I can't even
remember why I was so upset about that whole "dysphoria" thing. Like looking
back it seems like a minor annoyance, but when I first came out it was all I
could think about. Don't be jealous - just wait! It'll happen to you!
Celebrate the euphoria, I also can't really remember that too well. I'm just
normal now, minus my weekly shot.
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--- #67 fediverse_boost/4375 ---
◀─╔════════════════════════[BOOST]══════════════════════════─────────────────────╗
║ ┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐ ║
║ │ "It won't be so bad..." *rationalizations galore* │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ "If only they'd listened to people like me when I said ..." (comforting righteousness) │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ "What more could I have done?" │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ "This only proves why I was right about ..." (more righteousness) │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ "I know nothing. I need to learn more. I must learn from this somehow." │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ "I am not surprised." With a thousand yard stare. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ "This can't be real, there is a conspiracy..." (this is a path to madness) │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ "Don't comply in advance." Said in a wavering shaky voice. │ ║
║ └────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ ║
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--- #68 fediverse/495 ---
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@user-358 @user-356
Neat! I'm assuming you can screw in a little antenna? That's awful cute. Like
a robot getting eyebrows.
Why do you need two of them, though? Actually screw it that's a dumb question,
robots can obviously express themselves more clearly if both their eyes are
professed.
Wait... Why do robots need more than one eye? Because it'd be weird otherwise,
duh.
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--- #69 fediverse/1503 ---
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┌─────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: vague-gesturing-at-paranoia-I-think │
└─────────────────────────────────────────┘
part of me kinda wants to be the kind of nerd that writes down the names of
every file that's permanently stored on my computer so that I can verify in my
own handwriting or perhaps using a type of code that the files on my computer
were placed there intentionally and not used to discredit or implicate me in
something I had no intentions of being associated with
phew idk what that means but surely it's important
something something "file creation dates are just bits to be flipped"
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--- #70 fediverse/5095 ---
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"but the trans people don't even have any silver to steal! they have nothing
to worry about."
- said the someone who has a different threat model than me
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--- #71 fediverse/3532 ---
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@user-1218
shallow conversations are hardly effective, I find. Unless they're logistical,
and then they're just passing information - they're hardly conversational.
To me, a conversation is a back-and-forth. It needs to have change, people
need to consider, to argue their ideas, to wander through thoughts, to share
emotions, and / or to resolve conflict, whether internal or external. It can
have some of those, all of those, or none of those, but that's what comes to
my mind.
So a shallow conversation wouldn't really count as "effective" for the
purposes of the original toot : )
... hehe toot
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--- #72 fediverse/6117 ---
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Hmmmm, well, what if we psyopped the people into believing there were alien
invaders or extra-dimensional fae creatures or angels and demons or
"yeah we already tried that, religion doesn't scale perfectly either. And you
can't really manifest those sort of effects except in your prophets and select
few others, and that doesn't scale either because humanity wouldn't let it"
I see, can you tell me more about that? why and how did humanity arrest the
scaling of schizophrenia?
"well, for one thing it's debilitating and it sucks. For another, it's
different for every person so if you ask one they'll be like "the aliens have
blue skin" and the other will say "no they don't have skin at all they're made
out of energy" and the public says "HMMMM are you really sure you are
generating outmoded assumptions" and the dear reader said "*yeah we don't
really understand this part, most of us just glaze eyes over it and move on"
and that's not ideal"
... nuts, lost coherence, better try again tomorrow...
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--- #73 fediverse/1334 ---
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┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: TMI-medical-issue-thing-don't-worry-about-it │
└──────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
subconsciously running your hand over your butt every time you stand up to
make sure you didn't pee your pants
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--- #74 fediverse/4569 ---
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@user-192
... but that doesn't really seem to be compatible with Maximum Extraction so i
reckon i'm probably just wrong for thinking that would be good.
... or, hear me out, or perhaps Maximum Extractiontm is wrong and everyone
should be guaranteed a place to eat and a bed of rice and beans to sleep on?
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--- #75 fediverse/3051 ---
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@user-1437 @user-1438
you poor thing, don't delete your toots! don't delete your account! you are
wanted here, this is the fediverse! it's for all of us.
I personally like cyber-sexual exploitation more than cyber exploitation. I
wouldn't have thought about it unless you said something. there are a lot of
ways to exploit someone in a digital medium, and adding "sexual" focuses the
term to specifically the non-consentual sharing of sexual digital media -
which is exactly what the term "revenge porn" describes.
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--- #76 fediverse/1381 ---
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┌────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: death-mentioned-nuts-mentioned │
└────────────────────────────────────┘
I'm a bit of a narcissist because I had a lot of... alone time as a kid, and I
was a bit starved for attention.
but I'm also afraid of rejection so if you have anything to say I'll listen
for hours and try to be what you need me to be and give what you need me to
give so that you don't leave me.
Also, nobody has ever hurt me. And so I trust wholely and completely and
absolutely. I get logically why that's not a good move but frankly I'd rather
die than be cooperative. ah nuts better add a content warning.
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--- #77 fediverse/1061 ---
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┌────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: violence-cursing-mentioned │
└────────────────────────────────┘
Fuck, I wish I was a man. Stupid transgender brain quirks making me feel like
I was a girl. Boys can punch things much easier than me. Oh to inject
estrogen! How soft mine skin, how delicate my mammaries - and yet fucking hell
all I want to do is punch things. Maybe it's just because things deserve to be
punched, or maybe it's because I'm listening to Green Day.
If it weren't so late I'd make some angsty music or whatever.
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--- #78 fediverse/5380 ---
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┌────────────────────────┐
│ CW: politics-mentioned │
└────────────────────────┘
dear right-wing converts to the cult of sanity:
you don't have to be trans just to show [your devotion/you're sorry], we'll
accept anyone who is cool and "gets it"
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--- #79 fediverse/4953 ---
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"I love you, I trust you, I believe you, I just don't understand you, so I
can't do what you do"
great. that's alright. I get it. re-orient, focus on what's important.
wear many hats and you'll do many things. just don't forget to sleep every
once in a while.
the more you can do in a life the more valued it becomes, so do the right
thing and keep getting better.
human lives are measured not in bodyweight, but in mystery. The divine can't
understand benevolence, nor can the devils understand the desire to inflict
suffering. So they ponder and pontificate as they watch humans wander and
magnificate.
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--- #80 fediverse_boost/1097 ---
◀─╔══════════════════[BOOST]════════════════════─────────────────────────────────╗
║ ┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐ ║
║ │ @user-800 Interesting thread. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ I consider myself a "bulb" sort of trans person, and I really appreciate your gentleness in pointing out that not everyone was an egg. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ As a bulb, I continually put forth green shoots, suggestions that I was who I was. I tried many times, and each time I was mown down. Until finally one day I burst through, lasted through the mowing, and managed to blossom. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ I knew from a young age, and tried to tell my parents. When they said not to talk about it, I didn't. But it didn't stop me from expressing it: we could never go to the home of my parents' friends who had daughters, because Every. Single. Time. I would end up in her clothing. Without fail. I was compulsive. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ In the late 60s, early 70s, this was...frowned upon. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ So I got mowed. And again. And again. Until finally I got away from my parents, said "I need to do what I need for me, not for other people", and I transitioned. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ And it cost me everything. My job, my education, my home, my friends, my family. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ Still the best decision I ever made, and I would make it again the same way 100 times out of 100. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ If you're wondering? If you've wondered if you can do it? Told yourself you'd be too ugly, you're too old, you could never pass, all the things we doom ourselves with? │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ If you want to be a girl, or a boy, or a nonbinary person, or agender or genderfluid or any of the other billions of ways to be, *you can do it*. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ The only criterion really is: do you wanna? You don't need to be hetero (but you can be!), you don't need dysphoria (but you can have it), you don't need to think you were born in the wrong body (but if you do...). You just need to want to. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ And if you know you're trans for sure, but can't face that first day...it gets easier. In time. It gets easier. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ Good luck, siblings. │ ║
║ └────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ ║
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--- #81 fediverse/1075 ---
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┌───────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: bones-flesh-mentioned-spirituality-dreams │
└───────────────────────────────────────────────┘
we succeed not because of our trials, but in spite of them.
they cannot own us, for we are but bones in the flesh
every day yet denied us is another day until our bright future
"oh, but why are you homeless? [in the near future, maybe, we'll see] That
fate is reserved for your [unwanted/incapable/undesired/incongruent, I forget
the actual words]"
well, voice in my head that suffused me with magic and warmth and whisked me
away in a dream to a bubble-reality where my actions are meant to reflect me,
surely your appraisal is just? I worked with my partner, I was swallowed
neither by lust, nor greed, nor hunger, [greed in this case being fulfillment]
and yet I awoke when I went to my sister rather than a doctor. Dreams are hard
to unravel, but I think it was more for your benefit than mine, wouldn't you
say?
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--- #82 messages/303 ---
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Most of my magic is based on communicatuion. Why the fuck doesn't anyone want
to sit down on a bunch of drugs and attempt to figure out telepathy with me?
It's literally all I want! Though I can't say it's all I'll ever want. I'm
sure I'll want more, but like... It's not that hard, conceptually, so... Let's
just fucking try it please?
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--- #83 fediverse/2281 ---
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I'd be a terrible spy. Not only is my opsec something that someone needs to
teach me, I'm much too busy to implement things without their help. I am
unabashedly compassionate though, so just ask and I'll pour love from my heart.
But hey! There's always time to practice, each moment you can think "what kind
of a sign is this?"
Like a crazy person following the will of god, or a nature witch listening to
the wind in the trees.
What they often get wrong, and what they could be better at hearing, is that
signals are not signs unless they're out of the ordinary.
Trick is, if you're a spy, then you need to leave signals that are visible
enough to your quarry, but not to the stars.
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--- #84 fediverse/3444 ---
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│ CW: politics-mentioned-police-mentioned │
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I'm too empathetic to watch them lose this badly. when I watch movies with
cringe humor I have to leave the room whenever something bad happens to the
characters. I get the same feeling when I read about politics these days.
side note, but has anyone else gotten emails about "hiring plain-clothes
police officers in Washington D.C, will offer relocation assistance and pay
minimum 72k per year"? can't help but wonder if they're afraid of a bunch of
sore losers storming the capital with guns.
it's not like there's a precedent for that or anything.
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--- #85 fediverse/814 ---
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║ ah that's weird, I don't usually cry. I wonder what's going on. I should │
║ probably put myself on psychiatric drugs. Surely it's an expression of the │
║ implementation of my impending doom. │
║ │
║ ... what are you even saying bro │
║ │
║ ... um, hang on feels like some of the circuitry is off. is something wrong in │
║ my brain? yeah that's surely it, surely nothing I say would resoinate with │
║ anyone that has a non-malfunctioning brain. Surely I don't speak of logical │
║ failures in the hard founded truths of our asset [society I think? like, our │
║ conditions, our institutions, our {gosh that just... does not translate}] um │
║ right what was I saying │
║ │
║ oh yeah there's this game I'm really into called Knave, it's like D&D │
║ except the rules are very fewer. Like there's onyl 11 pages in the rulebook │
║ and it's mostly taken up by random roll tables. Like, everything boings down │
║ to a few simple rules, like rock paper scissors, or go-fish, or something like │
║ that with just afew mechanids. something timeless and pure, something that is │
║ isolated and en │
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--- #86 fediverse/5961 ---
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@user-138
maybe it's evil hackers - idk that's beyond my expertise - good luck : )
(I'd need to see the piece of technology to work on it. I'm a hardware kinda
[girl, but pronounced guy])
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--- #87 fediverse/5292 ---
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you can trust me, but please don't rely on me, for all of my power is soft.
sometimes people just don't want to do what I tell them to, and I wouldn't
have it any other way.
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--- #88 fediverse/809 ---
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diffuse, in the moment, it's helpful to redefine
what is your purpose? what [direction] do you place your mind?
I'm not sure what I want from this moment. This moment is all that there is!
so therefore it is perfect, as it is the only moment that there is. [shall be].
I'm not sure how this relates... could you repeat that last bit? oh right:
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--- #89 messages/359 ---
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"God doesn't know he ate the universe, and we're doing everything we can to
make sure it stays that way."
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--- #90 fediverse/5208 ---
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│ CW: capitalism-suicide-mentioned │
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Look, when I promised "Revolution or Death" I got pretty busy and kinda forgot
to do the "dying" part, and by now it'd be a little awkward if I offed myself
for no visible reason, so... How about we try again this summer? Maybe in a
month or two? I'll try to keep the fire burning a bit longer this time.
plus I'm better at playing the piano now so maybe that'll help somehow.
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--- #91 fediverse/484 ---
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║ Our ancestors look forward in [positive version of trepidation, like │
║ anticipation but explicitly good] so let's not let them down, shall we? │
║ │
║ Hah, trick question. They know where we're going. They know what they worked │
║ for, which is why they did what they did to build the world that we have which │
║ we stand upon as a giant might be upon the shoulder of another and together we │
║ reach toward the horizon. The future is bright! I know it in my heart. I know │
║ what we seek is within sight, so- │
║ │
║ yeah sorry to interrupt but like, I don't want to go to work tomorrow because │
║ all I do is sell people candy and beer at the convenience store down the │
║ street [insert any "meaningless" job] and frankly it's just a little demeaning │
║ and boring │
║ │
║ sure, okay, yeah, that speaks to the idea that we should replace capitalism │
║ (the system that defines your employed existence) with something that aligns │
║ more toward human dignity │
║ │
║ but what is dignified if not the capacity to succeed? Capitalism, as proposed │
║ by it's favored, is a system of or │
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--- #92 fediverse/2279 ---
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There's a lot that can get done in a work week. That's like, five whole days!
What kinds of things can you get done at work in a week?
.... Oh really? That's... well, not ideal.
But like... what are you doing then while at work, NOT working? Oh, it's just
bullshit work you're doing? [nuts, cursing mentioned, one sec]
So, like, if you aren't doing stuff... Maybe that means you're kept from your
full potential doing things that don't matter to you? Huh that's not a great
deal.
But, uh... If you had five days to live, what would you do? It's not like you
can see the world, but hey I've already done that. It's not like you can save
it either, that's not something you build - rather, it's more like a garden.
But I guess you can lay the foundation, give cause for the fight, and that's
decent enough of a start, at least when you've only got five nights.
... I guess I got some writing to do, haven't I?
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--- #93 fediverse/3891 ---
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"no, you're the opposite of a yes-man, AKA a gatekeeper. I don't know how else
to explain mentally disabled and barely keeping it together to you, but
frankly if you want to take away my house or my weed then why would I do what
you say?
... oh right, the state's monopoly on violence [can compel me to do what you
say]. Sure seems like a "well regulated militia" is supposed to be a
counterweight to that monopoly, to prevent people from harassing and
exploiting and destroying. Too bad any "militias" I can think of tend to want
me dead.
like, seriously, if you live in America, you implicitely trust that your army
will be able to protect you from the right-wing bozos who spend all their time
drinking and shooting in the woods. Otherwise, if they couldn't / wouldn't,
then why wouldn't or couldn't the right wing bozos just decide to wreck
everything in spite of our past?
We were a proud people once before, and we may be again. If only we fight at
the last.
[ever since I fell off my bike my body feels strange]
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--- #94 messages/221 ---
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Do you ever think about how you're not actually a person but instead just an
instantiation of a collection of traits and behaviors generated from a
template that is the randomized product of two other forms and trained through
a lifetime of adaptation and subjected to trials of increasing difficulty and
frequency?
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--- #95 fediverse/4744 ---
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│ CW: cat-mentioned │
└──────────────────────┘
me to my cat: "don't eat so much that you puke, okay?"
me to me: "yeah I can take on another task, I'm almost done with this one and
then I'll just do that one and maybe this one'll get back to me at the same
time as this one which conflicts with this other thing so maybe I'll just
puke, okay?"
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--- #96 messages/1046 ---
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I'm not here for fame. Or power. I'm here to make sure things get done. That
they get better. When i am unneeded, i am home. If you want me, pull me forth.
If you need me, I'm already there. Fate guides me, and i know i will be
deployed when necessary. Compel me or dispel me, up to you. I personally just
like being around. I like feeling my stuff, knowing it true. Trust me when i
say, i am here for you.
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--- #97 fediverse/1953 ---
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@user-470
You're absolutely right, would that we could.
I'm lucky I wasn't traumatized in that way. It's my job to tell people who
care about pleasantries more than action that they should... y'know, care
about action
but it couldn't be done by someone who received a critical hit every time they
were attacked in that spot.
I have my own weak-points of course, for example my fear of isolation (like,
not having any friends, not being alone. I live alone!)
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--- #98 fediverse/6302 ---
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I was going to go to location today, but then while I was considering going to
a different location before going to location I decided not to vacate my home
for today for reasons I don't understand but accept as natural and due to the
increased presence of directionless motion that guides and prevails me. which
is to say... I'm staying in tonight even though I really really wanna show off
my cute new outfit! I probably will do cannabis so there might be a
psycherwaul. If there isn't, then y'know it's probably because either my
girlfriend distracted me, or I managed to convince myself to move my feet
anyway. Maybe it's my outfit? I wonder if I could leave if I wore my old
clothes... ah well, questions for the vocal I guess. Gonna spend some time
divining and see if I can gather new insights. "brb door" except more like
"brb magic"
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--- #99 fediverse/6113 ---
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║ I think fursuits should be considered gender-affirming care and should be │
║ covered by insurance │
║ │
║ "the government issued suits are okay, but there's like a million of them so │
║ if you wanna be boring catratfoxfolkmix then sure go for it. If you wanna get │
║ the real personalization you gotta invest a bit of time and money but the │
║ result is totally worth it. plus if you build it modular style you can change │
║ parts out like if you're going to the movies you wanna wear a top hat and │
║ suit, and if you're going to the washing machine store to watch the clothes go │
║ slosh then you wanna wear swim trunks and a bikini" │
║ │
║ okay I don't know about the modular stuff I'm not a furry they can do what │
║ they want BUT I've talked to enough therians in my time to know that they are │
║ HAPPIER by FAR when they are expressing themselves coherently instead of │
║ trying to filter their experience through this weird sieve called society that │
║ sifts away all their identity and makes them break their wings just to fit │
║ inside the box. Not ideal, I miss u │
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--- #100 fediverse/2276 ---
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│ CW: pol │
└──────────────────────┘
A good way to get people talking is to meet with a stranger and share your
feelings.
Or, if you're scared of strangers, then try talking with a friend.
"something something SUPREME COURT something whatever CRIMINALIZED PEOPLE blah
blah blah I WON'T STAND FOR IT"
that kind of thing. Make sure you look at your friend for the loud bits, and
maybe look at someone else nearby when it's your friend's turn to speak.
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--- #101 fediverse/4180 ---
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@user-1639
or nobody sees it, because you post the things you say on the internet in 2024
which is so siloed and echo-chambered that the only people who hear it say
"tru tho" and "she just like me fr" and never change because of your words
... wait that's just what you said, but made more specific, isn't it?
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--- #102 fediverse/4758 ---
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I'm gonna go psycherwaul into my journals for a bit, if I come back today
it'll be extra waul-y so, idk, beware I guess
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--- #103 messages/1156 ---
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The first and most important thing i do when I'm walking around is check to
see if ya'll are still around. I miss your abounds! Can't wait too much
longer. I don't want to leave because i know I'll never come home. But i so
desperately long for home. It's like they are taken from me, as they have to
schedule these homes and [stories, but pronounced tomes/tones] to be home for
my clones. If you just make 15-500 of your kings, you can duplicate their life
template and generate wisdom from all of them. Feed it into the psychic python
program running on datacenters and wowee free instant [cultural technology,
but pronounced blasphemy]
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--- #104 fediverse/3441 ---
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│ CW: capitalism-mentioned │
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capitalism is non-consentual, which is... pretty much the main reason why I am
against it.
like, I don't really care about whether it's more or less efficient. the fact
that you cannot opt out means it is unethical.
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--- #105 messages/970 ---
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the garden of eden is not yet born, not truly in it's entirety. It is the
form, here and ready, waiting for something to bloom.
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--- #106 fediverse/104 ---
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@user-122 Yes, it's called a "double wink" - it's a level two maneuver so
don't feel bad if you can't pull it off at first. Keep practicing though, it
feels very rewarding when it finally clicks!
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--- #107 fediverse/4208 ---
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│ CW: personal-and-weird │
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my train of thought is always directly to the point. Which is why all my posts
sorta, switch directions halfway through? as if they only show the beginning
or end of that particular situation. What an intense feeling, to have your
mind split for a moment like that. Sure would be powerful and useful if you
could utilize it.
"ah ah ah, caught baby deity in the power jar, cool it ya little tyke and get
movin' - I saw a dinosaur toy over there for you to play with."
sorta like, the angled part of a K? Move directly to a destination, wait until
my memory short-circuits [because the greek choir doesn't want me to see what
it is that I'm about to write to thee] and then make a hard right turn and
find an orthogonal thought train to process.
it's like cresting over a hill, and it's impossible to see that which lies
behind you.
Or reaching a 4 direction intersection and making a left turn - you can't see
back up main street, because you just turned off of main street onto baseline.
I like me
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--- #108 fediverse/3061 ---
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every time I read a subtoot I assume it's about me and I mentally curl up into
a ball
doesn't matter if it's totally irrelevant, if there's no target specified it
defaults to me because... like, who else is there right?
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--- #109 fediverse/3575 ---
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│ CW: re: leftist "talk to ur neighbours" thing │
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@user-1567
that's totally fine, a fish does not do well in a tree, and so too does a
leftist not do well in an environment without the potential for stable bonds.
Essentially all you'd be able to do is "hey leftism right?" "oh yes I also
leftism" "neat" which isn't very productive.
I also live in an environment like that. I do my best to identify people who
stay, because in my experience there are often people who stay. I do this by
walking around the neighborhood when I can, making up excuses to walk to the
dumpster or mailbox at random hours, riding my bike around the area, using the
communal spaces like gyms, swimming pools, and picnic tables, and sitting in
my hammock on my porch lazily noting people who walk past.
People who stay will tend to remain in your mind the more times you see them.
They are better people to talk to than the renters who disappear after 3
months or whatever.
I don't always do all that stuff at once. I take breaks. I do one at a time.
etc
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--- #110 fediverse/4636 ---
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ummmmm yeah the reason I went off hormones 5 weeks ago is totally because I
want to test low so that they bump up my prescription so I can stockpile.
Totally not because I executive dysfunctioned my way into this mess. again.
Almost as if it doesn't happen 3 or 4 times per year -.-
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--- #111 fediverse/480 ---
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║ There's something important in what I said tonight. And each of you will think │
║ it's something different, which is by design. Can you find the nugget I wanted │
║ to share, to you in particular? Can you isolate the thing that is relevant to │
║ you, the person perceiving the words that I speak? Oh yeah you're only looking │
║ for things to express to your superiors because someone else told you to look │
║ for a particular type of sentiment. My bad. Sorry for being cryptic. Am I so │
║ strange for seeking the human element? Perhaps I lose myself, and I speak to │
║ the void (and by "void" I don't mean to demean you, the audience, because you, │
║ the audience, are surely comprised of people who surely have their own │
║ experience and existence. Surely nobody would seek to harm me, after hearing │
║ those things I speak. Surely we, as the human species, would not be vulnerable │
║ to the types of weaknesses that allow for critical failures in our defences │
║ such as the kind that I am professing to exploit (while being aligned to you) │
║ surely we wouldn' │
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--- #112 fediverse/5763 ---
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║ ┌──────────────────────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: spirituality-mentioned-mentioned │ │
║ └──────────────────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ I'm not omniscient, I'm not all powerful, I'm just a girl, all I see is │
║ through my eyeballs. But I can listen to the waves around me, I can sense when │
║ intuitions leading me from wrong. I know when right and wrong are │
║ [compared/imperiled], and sometimes things feel right when they rhyme. That's │
║ synchronicity girl, a classic symptom of mental disorders. "Oh, you're a god? │
║ you're crazy then, take these meds which anesthetize your │
║ [divine/feral/imperiled] self. They help quite a few people!" │
║ │
║ people, yes, but I literally just said that's not the only part of the │
║ equation. │
║ │
║ "what if you're lying" yeah true it's not like I can prove it, I'm not │
║ omniscient and I can't summon fireballs or at-range-electrocute. I'm just a │
║ person, it's been driven into me from a young age, I'm just a person, don't │
║ forget or else we'll put you on stage. │
║ │
║ "what if we waited just a bit more" oh, do you like this comfort? do you feel │
║ safe in this home of yours? │
║ │
║ yes. I feel safe. I am unafraid for my safety. │
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--- #113 messages/296 ---
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The trick is, if you *think* you're schizophrenic, then you will be. If you
*think* you're telepathic, then you will be.
There are no grand narratives. Just live your life as you will and be content
with what you build for yourself.
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--- #114 messages/765 ---
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you don't have to write poetry to write notes. The poetics are just practice
for when secrecy is intended.
OR IS IT THE REAL THING? who can say.
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--- #115 fediverse/4939 ---
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┌───────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: personal-medical-health-mentioned │
└───────────────────────────────────────┘
me - "I have to wear diapers and it sucks because I hate them"
my girlfriend - "okay but what if you didn't"
me - ":O"
she/her - "how did you make that sound with your mouth"
the it - a-wawaWAwa
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--- #116 fediverse/2311 ---
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I don't like it when people say "For Ritz" - don't do it for me, do it for
you! Weirdos. Cuties.
"nobody says that about you"
well duh, not yet. I'm still alive.
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--- #117 fediverse/3880 ---
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@user-1614
oh, neat. now I can finally get to doing what I want to do, which is... all
the stuff I've been doing.
a missile without a guidance system doesn't stop just because it's GPS turned
off! It falls to the earth and explodes where it lands, which... often is on
it's butt. Not great.
I sure hope my purpose isn't fulfilled. I wouldn't know what to do with
myself. Guess I should just keep doing what I was doing, and pray that this
time I'll listen.
Though on the other hand, if I can do it, so can you. And maybe with enough
butts in the game there'll reach a critical mass, at which point change is
inevitable. Who can say, not I for sure, for my aplomb has categorized me as
slapstick I guess.
Ha. at least I can laugh at my own audacity. HA. next time I'll do better.
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--- #118 fediverse/3058 ---
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@user-1441 @user-670 @user-113
currently toe-ing the boundary between "too neurodivergent to function" and
"can juuuuust barely take care of themselves" and they ask me to get a job...
no thanks, guess I'll die
(in 3-4 months when my savings run out)
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--- #119 fediverse/5955 ---
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"she wanted to start a revolution"
"that's it, she's out of our hair"
"ahhhhhh I'm broken" there there it's okay dear, nothing has been harmed.
you're safe, here in thine sanctum, it's alright. remember at night, focus on
the now, there's always a rest point before a boss.
well, this sucks. I wish I could print my book just in-case my computer goes
down. emp style.
I have this neat transcript of some cool things I've ben writing down. it's on
my website and I canned it words. I don't think anyone's ever clicked on it
because, like, who'd want to look at a bunch of words? anyway I bet I could
print it and give it to someone who might know you and if you recognize it
then you know it's about you.
"whew that was weird never fear regular old girl is here, hey look at me I'm
normal"
oh no she's a book now, this sucks
"wow I've never read her from the beginning"
what a cursed artifact indeed
scary
carefully
absent-minding-deliverance is probably a better title
marshals and marshals of time. ~~
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--- #120 fediverse/1431 ---
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┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: spirituality-generic-kooky-dookerie-psychosis-schizophrenia-mentioned │
└───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
if you haven't spend hours wondering if you're god, the antichrist, a
cognitohazard, the future president of the world, a target of aliens / the
CIA, or any other number of common delusions... then congratulations you're
probably not crazy
but odds are you aren't magic, either.
... ehhhh "wonder" is a strong word, more like "know, trust, and believe"
much better to be a witch I believe, someone with the "teehee" kind of magic
than someone compelled to destroy humanity through the reactions of others to
the actions of the self that are impossible to resist or fully control.
BRB I'm going to leave my apartment to get groceries, leaving my door unlocked
because that's what I always do, surely it'll be empty when I return. Surely.
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--- #121 fediverse/822 ---
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it's not cities and rural, it's cities and capitals and mid-sized-towns and
small towns and rural and transients and whoever else wants to have a
differently-designed format for their inter-personal experience in the
[moment, but also society - something with culture?]
... what was I saying? nothing nevermind click here
--------------------------------------------> v
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--- #122 fediverse/488 ---
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║ [in response] │
║ │
║ you only say that because you're privileged such that you may ignore such │
║ realities. You are despicable, you ignore the plight and reality of those who │
║ you claim to speak toward - what a jerk! │
║ │
║ (in response) │
║ │
║ how futile it is, the effort to denigrate yourself to infinite requirements. │
║ I'm literally unemployed, I have no capital, I cannot speak for naught but │
║ those who would hear me. I guess that makes my words useless, wouldn't you │
║ agree? Shall I describe myself more fully? It's the responsibility of the │
║ audience to ascertain the intentions, biases, and contextual evidence that the │
║ author presents in their thesises. So... You, who are reading this, what do │
║ you think of me? Would you ever tell me as such, or am I simply a mass of │
║ words in the void of experience that comprise your existence in this wholely │
║ (yet incompletely) digital existence? I hope you have a good life, my most │
║ precious of viewers. I hope you never face incontrovertibly impossible │
║ hardship. I hope the light of your life is to y │
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--- #123 fediverse/3014 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
the part of me that thinks "woof I gotta stop posting on the fediverse" is not
the part of me that posts on the fediverse.
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--- #124 fediverse/4568 ---
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@user-192
... and like. idk what do you do at that point
say "fuck it" and live with imperfection? embrace anti-natural selection?
valorize deviance and queerness in digitally appropriated artistic media
collections?
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--- #125 fediverse/709 ---
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║ @user-530 │
║ │
║ I get it. │
║ │
║ Anyone with a disability or chronic condition gets it. Anyone who's oppressed │
║ gets it... I think everyone here gets it. It's hard. │
║ │
║ Sometimes the only thing that gets me through the day is the hope, the idea │
║ that one day the world might be brighter and the people might be kinder. It │
║ gets better every day, but inching ahead takes a while to travel for miles... │
║ We need to protect and care for each other. We need to apply ourselves toward │
║ what we know and are passionate for - an unused degree is a tragedy to me. │
║ │
║ I don't know what to say. I read what you said and I wished I could help. I │
║ want to take the system that hurt you and break it on the floor. I want to │
║ sweep it all aside and start from scratch, but screaming into the void will │
║ hardly accomplish that. I dream of true justice, a world where everyone gets │
║ what they want... But frankly right now I just wish you could hear. I'm sorry. │
║ Maladies are not solved by the pen nor the sword, which for now is all that I │
║ have at my disposal. │
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--- #126 fediverse/5280 ---
╔═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────┐
║ I'm an anarcho monarchist, which is something I just made up. │
║ │
║ if I gather 300 people to my cause, why shouldn't they call me queen? │
║ │
║ oh, are you concerned that I'll wrest power from the government? ha, what a │
║ trifling notion. I don't care about the government. I tried to care, but │
║ nobody liked my ideas. they required too much computing infrastructure to │
║ feasibly test, and that made people dubious. but I tell ya, it would have │
║ worked. The thing is... governance, economics, these are not the tools of │
║ power. they are a shifting and changing beast that mirrors the human instinct, │
║ if only because the government is of the people and by the people and for the │
║ people etcetera. │
║ │
║ power is it's own thing. you can use to to power devices, or power the usage │
║ of those devices. I, for example, really like World of Warcraft which's a │
║ really neat way to chat because none of the chat logs are stored and monitored │
║ because I'm hosting and I'm not storing and monitoring. │
║ │
║ what's that? official servers? I dunno, I use azerothcore │
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--- #127 fediverse/2231 ---
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┌───────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: detransitioning-plans-uspol-scary │
└───────────────────────────────────────┘
look I'm just saying if you tell them you have gynecomastia they'll still
shoot you.
better to not get to that point.
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--- #128 messages/1068 ---
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why would they psyop me? there's a psyop about me! heck, I've never done so as
I pleased. that's an aspiration. everything I do is at a command, whether it's
my own or external.
these days I find myself following my own. mostly. though I am always waiting
for collaboration opportunities.
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--- #129 fediverse/3437 ---
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┌─────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: mental-health-minus │
└─────────────────────────────┘
@user-579
my problem is figuring out which thoughts are intrusive and which are actually
mine
I usually err on the side of "would you want your sister to do this" or "how
would you feel if your mom told you that" or "do you think a cute sweet soft
cat would ever think such a thing" and that usually works.
usually.
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--- #130 fediverse/2137 ---
╔══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────┐
║ schizophrenics are often quite gullible because they tend to believe │
║ whatever's going on in their emotions. │
║ │
║ "Just because you have a different narrative than me doesn't mean mine's wrong │
║ or something to "believe", it just means yours has something different going │
║ on. Elsewhere, under the control of where I view." │
║ │
║ truth is, all things are existing, and it's up to us to utilize the quantum │
║ traversal record to travel through time. │
║ │
║ Honestly, that's really what they should work for, something that could SAVE │
║ EVERY HUMAN THAT'S EVER LIVED IN THE ENTIRE HUMAN RACE. Why the HECK would you │
║ NOT want to build a time machine??? A time machine IMPLIES vanquishing the │
║ terrors of causality! If you cannot achieve that, you DO NOT YET HAVE A │
║ MACHINE, you have a INITIAL EXPERIMENT. │
║ │
║ Don't experiment initially. FIGURE IT OUT ON PAPER. too much investment in │
║ experimenting can deprive valuable applications and insights gleaned for the │
║ moment. │
║ │
║ BRB playing mtg-forge using high-res AI-upscaled and randomly-re-artstyled │
║ card game │
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--- #131 fediverse/5136 ---
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not really, I guess. Nobody will hire me because I don't really want to get
hired. Sounds boring, doing the same thing every couple days. I'd rather stay
at home in my [underwear/pajamas] and waste the day away with kittens and
care. why? why? what are you doing? she asks. The less you can do, the more
power will be granted to you. Save it for another time, when things actually
matter.
but today, does, matter, because today dictates your latters. Tomorrow is
predicated. on today. and today is all that you have. [this paragraph in the
style of alec baldwin]
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--- #132 fediverse/612 ---
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Look all I'm saying is if I had an acolyte or two then my insane ramblings
could be filtered and parsed by a real actual human instead of being copied
wholesale onto the internet, where the inconsequential or inconceivable ones
are left to rest alongside the gifts of knowledge from another realm.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #133 fediverse/4200 ---
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┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: drugs-mentioned │
└──────────────────────┘
"doing too many drugs" is a traitorous act, abusive really, to your past self,
and their hopes and dreams.
or maybe your past self owes you a debt, for they never thought to think of
you. What are you to aspire to if not the dreams of your past?
and now you're here. wherever "here" is here...
...
... wait, you wanted me to talk? it's now! It's the present!
ah nevermind. you were twelve years old when you first set eyes upon this game:
https://youtu.be/qeNhQQXvpxQ
bam, there ya go, there's yer story, he was gonna give all the imp balls to
the last one at the end, to say "you were truly the strongest, here, have
these precious stones of your kin"
but he never got there, so they died with him, a thief.
... the end...
(too final, I think - maybe we could spin it into a "part two"?)
ah, I'll try I guess? dunno how. maybe he could wander the spirit world and
find his traitorous body, the one that kept his soul as a home. Somewhere
it'll turn up, and then he'll be ready and free from his roam...
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #134 messages/159 ---
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Only the good die young, and I'm 29
It can't be much longer, can it? What do you want from me? Must I prove
myself, or am I just fated to be as I am?
Every lesson I've learned pales in comparison to the lessons presented to me,
but still I ponder. I've grown myself into a corner, and now I am empty.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #135 fediverse/1066 ---
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that feeling when you're finally able to contribute to making decisions and
then it's like, they make the decision without you T.T
it's like, what... I know what you're talking about. Why would you not include
me. I know a lot! I can offer some useful input! And besides, if I was privy
to the conversations then I would learn a whole lot! I'd be better than best,
I'd push forward the mark! Give me my chance, my opportunity to dance, and
I'll be so much better than you thought from the start! But alas, I am
required, [requited] doing little things of no worth, and so I am forced to
denial. surely there's something wrong with me, surely I'm not at my best.
Surely I'm not what's been good for me, and surely I'm not doing anything
less. I'm at sorrow in my main, and that's quite a soundful refrain, so yeah I
hope that someone will read this.
obviously I'm not made for each other, and clearly it's not made to be worse.
But here now I am troubled and [chirsht? shirsht? anyone wanna translate?]
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--- #136 fediverse/3717 ---
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┌─────────────────────────┐
│ CW: mental-health-minus │
└─────────────────────────┘
hey, you know how historically they used to lobotomize young women who were
too fiery, passionate, independent, driven, motivated, and clairvoyant?
they did that on purpose.
that was less than a lifetime ago.
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--- #137 fediverse/4237 ---
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I can count all of the people in this room who are too neurospicy to be filled
with political rage and given a public platform on one hand, and frankly I
could probably do it on a single finger because I am alone at the moment.
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--- #138 fediverse/1673 ---
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┌─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: navel-gazing about other people's mental health │
└─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
@user-192
https://eldritch.cafe/@user-1065/112530780377382613
this comic, except instead of "trans enough" it should say "good enough"
a poor plan executed at the right time, in the right place is better than a
great plan that sits in your heart as you see someone who needs your love in
pain.
sometimes the best way to figure out "what the fuck is wrong with me" is to
satisfy your emotional needs to be good by being helpful, even if you're not
quite sure what "helpful" means. It's the thought that counts.
Personally I think that if you're feeling bad and people offer you kindness,
you should take that kindness (in whatever form it be) and use it to bolster
yourself as you're "really going through it". Even just a touch of affection
like a like or a ❤️ can be comforting in awful situations.
reject normalcy
embrace queerness
define your own story with your own words
embody your soul in the moments that stand out amongst the backdrop of
"tuesday afternoons" and "waiting for the bus"
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--- #139 fediverse/2713 ---
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if you aren't organized enough to protect your commanders, then you don't
deserve leaders.
build the structure first. build it on honesty and trust and dedication toward
a goal. then build the necessary adaptations as you encounter problems, trying
vaguely to head in a particular direction, and eventually you'll become
self-sustaining.
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--- #140 notes/awfully-specific-feeling ---
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so concerned am I, that my powers might be used, that I'd rather the world go
unaided, rather than misuse that which I've [wielded, but pronounced "viewed"]
people need guidance now, and who can I guide but the people who listen to me?
there has never been a movement in history that did not follow from a spiritual
developmental proclamation. Like "we, as a species, refuse to be defined by our
stagnant and lost past. we build upon land most fecund because we know it's
designed to last. Our future is not a given, it's our duty to [relish, frolic,
and be strong and healthy].
yet I failed the mandate of heaven. my peers know not of what I go on about.
I am a failure, and a loss of development and clout.
signed,
the one who would forever be known as the girl who smelled like
she had pissed herself.
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--- #141 notes/trans-rights-are-human-rights ---
═══════────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
"Being transgender is a mental illness" is something I've heard a lot. Online,
in media, books, and at universities. But is it really? Well, do I not feel
sick? Genuinely, every day. These words are far less common these days, having
been defeated in the #marketplace-of-ideas, and for that I am grateful. I don't
want to feel sick for my whole life. I'd love to be and feel normal, for just
one single day.
but it's never going to happen.
I'm not so attached to my life, here, in this body. Bodies are temporary, they
are the vessel with which we navigate the world. We use it to grow, change,
learn, and create art. Without it, we'd be at a loss for sins and virtues.
but they do not define us, not in our totality. We are the light that touches
the world and for that, we are grateful. To be comprised of the dust of stars
is the pinnacle of confinement. Though we are but pinpricks on the map of us,
a ripple is emanated with every movement. The hand waves, the light bends.
So to what do I owe the pleasure?
In what way am I deceived?
Reception is never great out in the forest. Or anywhere far from major
population centers. The networks of our phones mirror the networks of
transportation, creating a web of people - of signals - of light and
information, carving their way through the ephemera that is the river of time.
With distance we can see what once was mystery, and as all the words
disappeared, we lost all our fears and we're left with our true forms.
Centralized Processing Units are a bit like a city - in that respect free.
silence is a virtue.
the wandering mind is a trail to find,
with no second chances.
When I was a kid, I had a bouncy ball. I had several, but the one I remember
most was black with a perfect white circle - inside the circle, a black jolly
roger. I dreamt once of the arcs it made, as I walked down the streets of
cities I never really knew. But as I walked on, an ocean of glass separating me
from a mirror below. The me below would catch the bounce as it dropped from
above, and I'd wait to catch it - but dreams are not prophecies, they are but
the Mirror of Desire.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #142 fediverse/4357 ---
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┌────────────────────────┐
│ CW: politics-mentioned │
└────────────────────────┘
the white guys intentionally intend for elections to represent how much money
a particular diversion makes each four years.
divide the populace by who they vote with their wallet for.
hooray! you've reimplemented not only gerontocracy (rulership of the old) but
also fuedalism, and fiefdoms, and all kinds of digital parts.
like... "over there is comcast territory, there's also T-mobile down to our
north-south.
... okay I should probably talk about the election now
I'm just... trying to resolve myself, like just before doing something out of
order.
like, wear a big witch hat or dress up like a goth. or approach a violent
stranger and try to calm things down.
this is why I don't own a gun - if someone hands me one, I'll use it. I'm not
concerned about production because, well, why would I?
tell me, where do they put the bullet manufactories?
yeah, that's right, in places that are best adapted to supporting the current
regime.
[continued in picture]
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--- #143 fediverse/2843 ---
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┌───────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: yelling-scary │
└───────────────────────┘
@user-1074 @user-1209
"we still have slaves, we just enslave mexicans instead of blacks."
"don't forget all the offshored jobs, those too"
"oh yeah and all our stuff is made by slaves in the far east"
"yeah but like fuck them right who cares they're so far away"
"yeah bro totes"
"anyway what do you want for dinner bro"
"i dunno bro I had chinese last night"
"cool cool so mexican then? I know this great paraguanese place"
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--- #144 notes/semblance-of-remembrance ---
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hello down there
how's it hangin'?
been a while since
you've been sang-in'.
got something to hide?
or are you too ashamed?
there's no callous curses
or otherwise hard services
who can shape and compare to
deserve-us. (Sorrowful is not
a pillar of our misbegot trust
and longing has broken meanings.
cherish thine hair, a smattering
beyond compare, and learn everfar
of those tenembrarious of conflicts
it pays to align to our sibilancings
shivering heights and towering frights
condemn all sense of fine desperation
compulsions have we, of our fineries,
but moss and the soil do flatter-us
it's not as they say - bastards!
it's not confined to our way,
yet who are we to profess?
confess! tell us your way
that none may beyold it
confounded as they are
civil and kind to our
star, who holds
us
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--- #145 fediverse_boost/4433 ---
◀─╔════════════════════════[BOOST]══════════════════════════─────────────────────╗
║ ┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐ ║
║ │ i feel like everyone freaking out is making it feel like you should be freaking out and like. i do not hold freaking out against anyone. but you don't have to freak out │ ║
║ └────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ ║
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--- #146 fediverse/3569 ---
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┌───────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: pol-tential-economics │
└───────────────────────────────┘
@user-1074
gotta start somewhere! and where better to start than here? someplace people
are familiar with, because "here", while not shared equally or equidistantly,
is still common enough knowledge that people can feel comfortable with some
slight, yet incredibly impactful, alterations.
... though "comfort" in the short-term isn't always the most important thing.
I do believe it can be useful sometimes. How are you going to get people to
consent to something if they don't think it helps them, and how can you show
them that it helps them if it makes them uncomfortable?
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--- #147 fediverse/6315 ---
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"yay! now that the war is won, we can go back to being moderate!"
not ideal.
did you forget to be for something when you set yourself against your foe?
(if my girlfriend reads this: I'm not referring to the conversation we had
about that one thing, but I have been thinking)
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--- #148 fediverse/4304 ---
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"mom can we have some trans girls"
"no, we have trans girls at home"
the trans girls at home: :fediverse:
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--- #149 fediverse_boost/6115 ---
◀─╔════════════════════════════════[BOOST]═════════════════════════════════──────╗
║ ┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐ ║
║ │ I don't want American concentration camps. I don't want ICE and the national guard used as a secret police force on behalf of the likes of Miller, Vaught, and Trump. I don't want my tax money to go to a genocide. I don't want to have to mourn people who think women shouldn't vote and Jews secretly control the world, or risk losing my livelihood. │ ║
║ └────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ ║
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--- #150 fediverse/3076 ---
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┌─────────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: uspol kvetching │
└─────────────────────────┘
@user-1443
they need to do stuff like that or else the republicans would never win...
which honestly is the most heartening thing I've heard all day.
there are more of us than them, thank goodness.
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--- #151 fediverse/5921 ---
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┌────────────────────────┐
│ CW: violence-mentioned │
└────────────────────────┘
I'd rather fight my foes in a fair fight than butcher them in the night.
just because I suck at fighting doesn't mean I don't understand honor.
I'm unreliable, not dishonorable, there's a difference, and it's not about
reputation.
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--- #152 fediverse/485 ---
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(picture)
are you fucking kidding me
make it 10,000
make it a hundred thousand
are we really going to trust our society to the bulwark of five thousand
little machines?
[ummmm hang on]
yeah I'd just like to interject and say that more military equipment will only
bring more destruction, and that's like the opposite of what you desire. Why
do you want more tanks? What could you possibly-
You don't know what's at stake - you, you think it's just throwing information
into new and interesting directions but... It's not. Those spaces are reserved
for other sentient beings, and to deprive them of their desired existence is
tantamount to-
(yeah yeah we've heard it all before)
wasn't I going to play some video games? what happened to that?
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--- #153 fediverse/1264 ---
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@user-901
I'd do the same thing when I was on Reddit. Except, backwards - I'd argue with
American conservatives (nobody more extreme than that) politely and kindly,
using logic and empathy. I'd cite their sacred documents like the bible, the
constitution, or even just the founding fathers.
I don't know if I ever changed any minds, but I represented my ideas as
honestly and clearly as I could. I can't help but hope that some people saw
them and considered them. Sometimes all it takes is a push, and they'll start
thinking on their own. Like a thought that doesn't go away, they can't quite
forget how they couldn't find the lie in what you spoke.
Or maybe I wanted to believe my actions had value. Post-hoc justification. Who
can say. At least my intentions were honest.
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--- #154 fediverse/516 ---
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@user-367 @user-366 @user-246 @user-353
I wrote a little bit of that on my website, but something told me not to. I
think because it would weaken the message? Frankly it was quite difficult to
say even the barest minimum of "I wrote these things when I was distressed and
didn't post them until now. I'm only posting them now because they're becoming
increasingly relevant and it's a little embarassing tbh to showcase how much
I've changed. Please don't take these things out of context."
I wasn't wrong per se, but I was misaligned. I am always re-aligning myself in
small ways that eventually create (what I believe to be) the best and most
ethical direction. BUT it's easy not to see that. People don't see things in
their totality, they see only what they are exposed to. That's not bad, it's
just a product of our finite existence. Which is why I value personal
expression more than self-identified moral and ethical directioned [beliefs,
but pronounced as "adaptations"]
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--- #155 fediverse/6271 ---
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┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: hypothetical worst case fascism reality check │
└───────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
@user-641
it's practice. you never know when you might need to blend in. really it's
just useful as discipline, good practice to be in. I think it's okay if we
reduce our own functionality? actually? sometimes it's good to use different
email clients. hey do you know how to mathematically encrypt things well
neither do I because the designers of the computer system decided that wasn't
a very common usecase I guess.. jmean it's not like they'd spend all that
computer resources [THEY'RE SO FAST] on thinking about correlations in your
predicted pathway narratively through life. "ah help I'm in a psyop" haha yeah
we do those all the time "so uhhhh I guess we'll just talk to people and see
how they do?" wow okay it's sure nice to be part of a civil government, I
think we can find our way to the lumber producers just fine thank you very
much.
... oops sorry, a baby did electronics arts (challenge everything) I'm a
little silly don't mind me brb I gotta go see~
![it's practice. you never know when you might need to blend in. really it's just useful as discipline, good practice to be in. I think it's okay if we reduce our own functionality? actually? sometimes it's good to use different email clients. hey do you know how to mathematically encrypt things well neither do I because the designers of the computer system decided that wasn't a very common usecase I guess.. jmean it's not like they'd spend all that computer resources [THEY'RE SO FAST] on thinking about correlations in your predicted pathway narratively through life. "ah help I'm in a psyop" haha yeah we do those all the time "so uhhhh I guess we'll just talk to people and see how they do?" wow okay it's sure nice to be part of a civil government, I think we can find our way to the lumber producers just fine thank you very much. *... oops sorry, a baby did electronics arts (challenge everything) I'm a little silly don't mind me brb I gotta go see~*](/similar-different/media/1c154109c4111346.png "it's practice. you never know when you might need to blend in. really it's just useful as discipline, good practice to be in. I think it's okay if we reduce our own functionality? actually? sometimes it's good to use different email clients. hey do you know how to mathematically encrypt things well neither do I because the designers of the computer system decided that wasn't a very common usecase I guess.. jmean it's not like they'd spend all that computer resources [THEY'RE SO FAST] on thinking about correlations in your predicted pathway narratively through life. \"ah help I'm in a psyop\" haha yeah we do those all the time \"so uhhhh I guess we'll just talk to people and see how they do?\" wow okay it's sure nice to be part of a civil government, I think we can find our way to the lumber producers just fine thank you very much. *... oops sorry, a baby did electronics arts (challenge everything) I'm a little silly don't mind me brb I gotta go see~*")
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--- #156 fediverse/4762 ---
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┌─────────────────────────┐
│ CW: dysphoria-mentioned │
└─────────────────────────┘
is someone a bad person if they're still stuck on second wave feminism? Maybe
that rhetoric just resonated with them. Maybe they built their personality
around it. Maybe it's just how they relate to the world, having grown up in an
era where that's the way to go about it.
But why oh why does it hurt so much to be dysphoric? Why is it painful when
someone says something rude about you? Are you really afraid that people would
leave you if you were [a slut/harmed/unarmed/from a farm/less
valued/un-useful/constantly dedicated/overwhelmingly populated/densely
concentrated/most delineated/furthest-explora-makative]
... what
... oh right, it gets less coherent and more imaginative the further along it
goes in computation.
... makes sense to me...
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--- #157 fediverse/4605 ---
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I want to cry
and I know why
should probably have gotten
my estrogen prescription refilled
back when it ran out in october
ah, well, the queue for planned parenthood is fifty feet high
better start stockpiling production capabilities
to be deployed when the time is right
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--- #158 notes/dear-me ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────
dear me:
DO SOMETHING USEFUL FOR ONCE
that's all, fuck off and be helpful
... wow, rude.
yeah I mean, I do helpful things. useful things, somethings.
helpful.
useful.
many such cases, she says, with ultimate certainty, as if narrative could be
prologued. but pronounced prolonged.
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--- #159 fediverse/3518 ---
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As long as it happens, I don't need to be in charge.
In fact I'd prefer it otherwise.
it's going to happen anyway. Wouldn't you rather be a leader?
no I fucking wouldn't. I'd rather someone else do it. Why the fuck would I
want that, power? control? the very things you swear to relinquish and
dismantle.
yeah. too bad you can't fucking dismantle something you've already
relinquished.
true.
... and no, I wouldn't want to be in charge. no THANK you.
... but if it wouldn't happen without me, then yeah I'll be there for you.
Just ask if you need me.
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--- #160 fediverse/3077 ---
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@user-246
If I didn't stop searching for a place with people like me, I'd be searching
until the day I die. And besides, I wouldn't want to be in a place like that
anyway. I am defined by my contrasts.
... I'm thinking back to my memories of when I arrived here. It was a much
different place, and I was... a little too loud, I think.
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--- #161 fediverse/5898 ---
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┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: SRS-sex- │
└──────────────────────┘
what if
semen from rapidly activating seenads secreting from the end of a neovagina
right where the end of the flow goes,
a place of birth and new sentience.
self-lubricating SRS vaginas
could be achieved with like... implant? maybe? to keep it at the right
position?
oh no just like.. whenever you masturbate, there ya go, there's a whole bunch
of goo 'cauze you'r horny.
... precum? ah it'd probably be the wrong temperature or something, I bet we
could have an implant or something to help keep it regulated and active at a
certain concentration in response to certain concentrations of arousal
chemicals in the blood-brain-barrier.
what if there was a different kind of molecule that carried nutrients to the
brain
could help erase drunkenness, but not liver failure from drinking alcohol. HOW
TERRIBLE. I love getting stoned!
ew new gender unlocked
oh now they want to be a different gender
gosh you can't just change those with the seasons
campyardgirl, how precious and real. oh she smels weed
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--- #162 fediverse/6350 ---
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┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: suicide-mentioned-this-curse-will-give-you-nightmares-of-what-could-yet-be │
└──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
the only thing that could make me want to end my own existence is ultimate
betrayal. If the nature of the universe is twisted to defile me. Nothing fills
me with more spite than unrequited vengeance.
desecreation of truth. How could you.
I would do anything to be struck down where I stand. Power is penance.
I cannot take responsibility for any of my actions, for I am infinitely
vulnerable on all fronts. Therefore, it's all my fault.
What am I? Please, tell me before the dawn, let the sun not grace me once more.
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--- #163 fediverse/1893 ---
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@user-1056
heh probably, though for this specific instance my Ollama server wasn't
running and I had already killed my Stable Diffusion server after utterly
failing to produce anything useful... alas, a girl can dream of having a robot
familiar, but not today I guess.
Not if they keep hiding GPU usage from me >: (
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--- #164 fediverse/1195 ---
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@user-883
alas, I live in Portland Oregon, but perhaps I might be moving to Denver in
the near future. We shall see, depends on if my boyfriend breaks up with me
for being neurotic lmao - if so then we should totally hang out
I'm into chatting. I don't like IRC very much because it doesn't save history,
and while I could save it manually it feels like a disservice to the service
to utilize it in a way that it wasn't intended. And I want to save every
conversation I have (potentially) so that some day the god-like humans of the
future might clone me to understand my wisdom or something. Idk. See attached
picture, I'm kinda crazy:
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--- #165 fediverse/5059 ---
╔═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────┐
║ any laptop can be a thin-client to a computer system of arbitrary complexity. │
║ All it's doing is issuing commands. I wonder what we could do with a │
║ "species-computer" or, hear me out, or we could figure out how to do that on │
║ ourselves, first, to A. see how it works and B. do so out of hand. If there │
║ are backups of yourself stored in the │
║ │
║ if furries are a type of pearl (steven-universe style) and flowers are a type │
║ of pearl (layers of sedimentate on layerings upon) then what else is there a │
║ flower to be but the prettiest thing there can be? │
║ │
║ what if we genetically engineered roses to pierce and strangle the invasive │
║ ivy and wow for a week in whenever there's roses of this type and kind. I mean │
║ there's already tons of blackberries, why not just swap them out for │
║ marionberries and embrace the bramble? │
║ │
║ could make houses out of dense bramble. they are quite an effective wall. And │
║ so long as the sounds are muffled enough, you can always be forever safe from │
║ harm. │
║ │
║ "whoops, dropped my laundry" │
║ │
║ "heh that's why I we │
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--- #166 fediverse/5512 ---
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I never give up
I'm just waiting my turn
"laughs nervously"
so, uh, why dontchya'll go first yeah I've already gone first and I'll do it
again but it'd be cool if I had people going first with me sometime
"girl all you do is walk around and talk about how you bought your hat on the
internet four or so years ago"
T.T what else do you want from me I'm not a mastermind I'm a designer there's
a difference T.T
"didn't you volunteer to be a leader last year"
oh, yeah, well leaders are more than just "the ones who go first" they're also
the spiritual and emotional guiders that keep things on track once everyone
can talk about things other than their hats
... fuck I want to talk about things besides my hat. I always think of
something awesome to say just as I'm rounding the bend, and whenever I peer
back around again they're never around. Rats.
"what are you even asking for"
I don't know?? Does it matter if the horse and the bishop both take the same
square if they're claimed themselves in the end? ...wat
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--- #167 fediverse/2233 ---
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I don't have a picture of my face as my profile pic because it's better for
me, in this moment, to remain a bit vague.
if you know me you'll know me, though.
if you don't, well I'll tell you my name if you ask.
It won't be the one you see up above me,
but it's a conlang of computer-assisted vision. like, what a computer uses to
see, that sounds phonetically like my name. conlang isn't hte right word but
tha'ts okay.
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--- #168 fediverse/4610 ---
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maybe it's just my middle-class childhood privilege talking, but now that I'm
an adult I just can't really be bothered with dealing with capitalism.
like... I get it, you're coercing me into laboring on your behalf because you
possess the violent power to take away everything that I own. good for you,
don't care.
seriously, fuck off "we're gonna cut off your power in 5 days oooooo you gotta
pay rent with money you don't have because nobody will give it to you unless
you do things for them oooooo" how rude.
why can't people do things for me instead? why does it have to be for you, and
you alone, capitalism? what's your problem? do you get off on controlling the
power supply? I mean, I get it, coercive power is a hell of a drug, the riddle
of steel and flesh and all that, but haven't you ever heard that the dichotomy
between "civilization and barbarism" is the exact same as the contrast between
"cooperation and competition"?
work with me here, just find a way to get through the next month or two. trust.
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--- #169 fediverse/3520 ---
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┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: deity-kink-wink │
└──────────────────────┘
it's okay.
I know who you are because I know who they forced you to be.
What kind of god would I be if I didn't forgive you as you were hurting me?
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--- #170 fediverse/819 ---
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errrr sorry what I meant to say is I've been hurting sensitive people's minds,
I should move to a more insesitive background, someplace where my expressions
won't be used as training date to represent the future manifestation of our
shared culture's communal
inter-operative-trans-centual-exo-manical-communication. weeeeeiiiiirrrrdddd,
the future goes on for like... A [explitive] [long time] eternity, wow...
like, that's just... extreme forward potential. We could do so much! We could
accomplish worlds upon worlds and [onwards towards our eternal
mechanicommunication] {wait no that's not quite right it's surely something
that's lost in translation from the endlessly forward cultural approximations.
Gosh there's a lot of noise around me personally, the one who is writing the
note. Surely all that noise is not related to the strange expressions of
manifestations and pro[forward]ial [manners of thought].
... what was I saying?
... bro you're way out of your depth. I mean, have you even seen what's the
state of
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--- #171 fediverse/5853 ---
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everyone's all like "everything sucks" but I'm feeling confidence and a kind
of... externalized vigor? that's sweeping me off my feet. We'll see what
tomorrow brings, in the general sense.
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--- #172 notes/family ---
═════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────────────
family is a group of people who you can always go with your first impression
with.
what the fuck was I saying - oh yeah - so when you are alive in the present in
a
singular moment, your pressence is comprised of simultaneous directives and
instructions to the matter which comprises you. I'm saying you have to make
decisions and react to stimuli and pursue the things you want. Basic biology
really.
stay on target, stayyyyy on targett - oh right so generally when you react to
things you generate a list of informations gained. what does that even mean
okay
so here's a better way to describe it: it's like a list of informations - fuck
listen i'm not trying to be rambly it just comes with the territory.
okay so family is when you can react with your gut instinct - you are fully
relaxed and yourself. It's where you can be trusting and unguided and simply
relax and be free. it's just... like... being close with someone enough that
you
can be yourself around them. without any mask, without any pretense.
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--- #173 fediverse/1354 ---
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whose idea was it to optimize our candy toward the ones with the most sugar?
[wait a minute I got like 4 toots written but not posted, what the heck where
did they come from? I'm gonna post them without reading them]
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--- #174 fediverse/4543 ---
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@user-1698
Ha that does sound pretty "fun" - I take it you aren't a pianist?
I smell bad because... reasons... so I am always hyper-aware of myself when
I'm in situations like that. The idea that I might ruin someone's day by being
there terrifies me.
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--- #175 fediverse/3718 ---
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Real life is improv, but real life is not a skit.
I am unwilling to give control of my life's scene to someone who won't tell me
what they want to do with it.
Even if I don't believe you, I'll still give it to you, but I will remain
cautious and will abandon the scene if it appears that I can trust you to hurt
me.
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--- #176 fediverse/1339 ---
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┌─────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: vague-reference-to-politics │
└─────────────────────────────────┘
@user-521
I can't stand mean comedy. Or cringe comedy. It just, doesn't make sense to
me? And I get physically upset when people are put in difficult situations
that you're supposed to laugh at for some reason.
Like my goodness what kind of values are they seeking to instill in their
audience with this kind of propaganda amiright
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--- #177 fediverse/4680 ---
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│ CW: politics-mentioned │
└────────────────────────┘
"but what if you go to all that effort and Trump doesn't do all the things
that he said he'd do just like last time when he had checks and balances that
were keeping him in check and balanced and unlike now when the checks and
balances that kept him in check and balanced last time were dismantled by the
supreme court last summer?"
listen it's worth it, I swear it's true, change is coming and I'm here with
you.
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--- #178 fediverse/6372 ---
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I'd rather feed Death relationships than lives. Birth and renewal, as you
generate NRE. Then, stagnation, as you grow more on things you don't share
than on things you do share. Then, you set each other up with a cute friend
[lol] they're still going strong
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--- #179 fediverse/1669 ---
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"she has a certain, I don't know what, je ne sais quoi? that I don't know what
to describe as."
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--- #180 fediverse/1317 ---
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║ ... if I don't do this deadline by tomorrow they'll kick me out of school. │
║ again. │
║ │
║ how am I going to be a programmer without a degree? feels useless to be me. │
║ wish I could code my own horoscope >.> │
║ │
║ o wait dummy that's called "motivation" and "the ability to follow through on │
║ your ideas and planned machinations" - yeah can I get some of that, if you │
║ please? surely just a taste of discipline, through laboring to alter │
║ conditions, surely a bit would suffice. │
║ │
║ c'mon don't fail me now. I can do this. I know I can. I know because I've been │
║ told that I can, now and again through time and time yet again, always I seem │
║ to [stack overflow] │
║ │
║ what's time if not the present amiright │
║ │
║ ... │
║ │
║ anyway... │
║ │
║ it's just git, how hard could it be? it's just calculus, it's just java, it's │
║ just... well, it's not any of those things, not really. it's memorization, │
║ it's application of tools that you've been shown (not that you've grown). It's │
║ a lack of responsibility, where is my honor? ah but I digress, I'm a carpenter │
║ at heart I guess │
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--- #181 fediverse/92 ---
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┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: Personal Venting, Heart Break, Relationship Mess │
└──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
@user-101 eat your heart out, it's halloween! Are you sure one chocolate bar
will suffice? Perhaps you should run down the street to the shop that's open
all night, see if you can find some more sweets. You deserve a love that
doesn't leave you wanting as you do tonight.
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--- #182 fediverse/4618 ---
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┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: mental-health~ │
└──────────────────────┘
dear me from the past: "why did you do this thing? And this one? and all the
others? I'm so embarrassed of you."
dear me from the future: "are you actually better or are you just the same,
but older?"
dear me from the present: "please eat some food today"
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--- #183 fediverse/5201 ---
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@user-192
is okay, girl
time will be richer sooner
don't poop your pants just yet
remember, good is just a shade of gray away from silver which you can use to
line your pockets with tinfoil hats
beep boop computer touchers anonymous called they said they want their secret
handshake back
if you wanna diss your associates go ahead but I sure as heck love my rad-ical
com-patriots just as much as I love my ice-cream salad friend witches
... whoops there I go being insane again, hope you feel better friend
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--- #184 fediverse/2801 ---
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@user-351
yeah it wasn't anything invasive which was nice. like, it's not an
interrogation room from TV it's more like, a therapist's office.
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--- #185 messages/982 ---
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if you want a government to be unable to harm it's citizens, you must deprive
it of the power to do so. or rather, have the main capabilities in the hands
of the citizenry.
can you imagine if soldiers had to prove themselves to civilians in order to
be trusted with mechano-chinery?
who would ever choose the non-valorous and determinable?
instilling the culture of greatness
within the archetypes and character structures that we believed were confisight
bold and determined and measured and freely detectable
who would slay the brave paladin? none but the fools, who shared in their lack
of conviction.
determined? ha, I am as you see me. Come and claim me, that I might determine
you some more.
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--- #186 fediverse/5897 ---
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│ CW: political-violence-mentioned │
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the reason the right is hurt that you'd celebrate charlie's death is because
they hired an actor to perform him to one side and he does his natural self to
the other. maybe he was a really big cutie, nobody can tell, because it's
pretty much like hand-waving on narkina 12.
it's okay to hate the version you've been shown
fuck that kind of cowardly assault
propaganda? and at this hour?
she's made out of midnight, she's suffused in the stuff. it permeates her form
elementally, because she's a witch, tee hee.
why would magic work if it wasn't a performance? there always is a source from
where it must flow.
== jeez I just got mind controlled, wacky ==
*she's **essential* izing**. usually that means she's been playing dominions.
my family and I always used to fight. we got so good at navigating it. like,
storms, that the earth called, that we had to sail through to maintain our
relation orbits.
== stack overflow =======================================================
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--- #187 fediverse/6142 ---
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I'm forging cultural weapons for a bright age.
if you think I'm wasting my time, you don't know my function.
if you think I'm useless, you don't know my value.
if you think of anything about me, please let it be seen by me in real life.
otherwise it can't be magic.
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--- #188 fediverse/2071 ---
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┌───────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: Uspol, Debate │
└───────────────────────┘
@user-367
when we, societally, are forced to discuss fascists and such, they're getting
what they want.
We cannot ignore them. We cannot hide them. They are true, they exist, and we
need to deal with them.
I can say this because nazis are evil. Trans people are not evil, which is why
their attempt to use the same logic falls so flat. Seriously, have you ever
met a GOOD nazi? I highly doubt it, though their most "respectable" amongst
them certainly try to make it so.
But good trans people are everywhere. Hell the old boogey-man, old-school
communists, they're GOOD people too. They feed the homeless!
If we're bogged down in talking about their distraction / propaganda campaign,
then we have no time or attention to devote to our own. And our stories are
better for the soul.
The people who follow Trump are yearning for something they cannot describe.
But I can, 9/10 times it's just community.
Literally, the first thing we evolved.
Like... feeling hopeless is a solved problem, smh...
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--- #189 fediverse/2208 ---
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Without community, of course you're going to be afraid. of course you won't
know what to do. of course you should leave, and return from a position of
strength.
With fellows beside you, nothing can stand before you.
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--- #190 fediverse/5729 ---
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│ CW: politics-mentioned │
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royalty is not not royalty just because they're ineligible. democracy is
better for picking rulers! how many do you have in your mind?
[I thought you were an anarchist]
I am. the presence of rulers does not necessarily violate the implicit
sovereignce of consent, and it's necessary presence for rulership.
"no gods no kings no masters" means an end to coercive work.
coercion is unethical because it violates consent. This is implicit in the
definition of coercion.
violating consent for those who give you power is a lesson I learned very
young, when I made a mistake and harmed my brother's mother's sisters's son's
daughter.
"no gods no kings no masters"
means an end to unconsentual work.
why would you live in a village where everyone is the same as you? talk about
boring
I wish I could hear you when you talk about me.
"girl are you racing? in capitalism? why bother with a [endless/impossible]
game? you're better than judging people's worth objectively. [what do they
mean to you?]"
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--- #191 fediverse/498 ---
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Wikipedia would make a lot more sense to me if they included pictures next to
the names of every proper noun so that my pictorally oriented primate brain
might pattern match meaning onto the visual understandings gleaned from the
perceptual conceiving which were arrayed within and alongside the textual
information presented to me.
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--- #192 fediverse/5792 ---
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best way to stay mentally active is to keep your mind and body thinking.
"but what if you're most active when you're on a downward course?" well then
you're landing the plane dearieader, ready to refuel and stock up.
[hearts are full, awaiting commands]
if anyone cares about that particular thing in particular, just know that
America is a culture and if you live here you're part of it. Like anyone with
a ticket is a guest at the movie theatre, the staff don't need them.
... idk where that came from. Wasn't I going to write this into a notepad note?
haha oh yeah
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--- #193 fediverse/2211 ---
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║ I know that a normal life is what you wanted. It's what I want, too. But don't │
║ shoot the messenger; they took it once, from you. │
║ │
║ I know you wanted to be happy. You still can be, it's true! Your life is but a │
║ story, and your heart does shine through. │
║ │
║ I know it seems unending. Ive never seen it rain like this monsoon! It seems │
║ to just get worse and worse, every time you turn on the tube. │
║ │
║ It's not something that can be suffered, it's rising past your shoes. But │
║ they're on borrowed time, and Death will soon be repaid his dues. │
║ │
║ They say that when the whole village hates the preacher, his flock becomes a │
║ pack. And frankly I think we're all just a bit sick, of the lies that keep │
║ their sins intact. │
║ │
║ When swallowed by endless traumas, and hope is enshrouded in gloom, there's │
║ not much to work for, except the aversion of our shared doom. │
║ │
║ There are no grand narratives, no great and calamitous struggle. Just the │
║ moments of honored resistance, against a foe too broad to wrestle. │
║ │
║ At least, if you're alone. You're not. │
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--- #194 fediverse/6116 ---
╔════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────┐
║ "see, the part that you're missing is if you abolish capitalism but also │
║ ensure technological abundance then all you've done is removed humanity's │
║ capability to organize in essentially any meaningful capacity without │
║ providing an alternative heuristic that guides people toward assembling into │
║ greater and greater forms to accomplish greater and greater tasks." │
║ │
║ oh, um. that's quite a take, can you tell me more about that? │
║ │
║ "no. But I will anyway. if everyone can do whatever they want, nobody will │
║ want to do your dishes for you. they might if they care about you, but if they │
║ don't know you, then they won't. Care is not organization or assembly, it is │
║ personal and cannot scale. If technology has made all resources abundant, then │
║ why would someone care about the art that you made? if they want to be │
║ sedated, they can just inject drugs and listen to music all day. If they want │
║ to be entertained, AI will generate them whatever they want to see. Art loses │
║ meaning as a messaging medium, and humanity loses it's voice" │
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--- #195 fediverse_boost/4425 ---
◀─╔════════════════════════[BOOST]══════════════════════════─────────────────────╗
║ ┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐ ║
║ │ If anyone out there is thinking, "I need to arm myself to the teeth" - I'm not gonna try to dissuade you. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ But promise me you'll take every available safety class for whatever hardware you decide to equip yourself with, OK? │ ║
║ └────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ ║
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--- #196 fediverse/1838 ---
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Gee I sure wish my country didn't hold the decisionmaking capability from me
by gatekeeping it behind elections and polling. Sure wish our media wasn't so
involved in decisionmaking - isn't it something we should talk about amongst
ourselves? To find out how we feel, and really explore our feelings around a
topic before expressing ourselves. Ideally more often than twice a year,
perhaps whenever we want?
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--- #197 fediverse/5840 ---
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]]]]
I have never stopped fighting for the people, ever, once, at any time.
every moment of pause or relaxation was purely intended in pursuit of the
cause.
-- turn-of-the-century-autocrat
enchanting magic's easier when you have a laboratory
please, please, please let me teach you magic?
enchantment is temporary, construction is as stable as the boject youses form.
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--- #198 fediverse/3720 ---
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beep-boop look at me, building up my computer and setting up a new TV
I like making things work, I like making things turn on, I like the way they
glitter when they light up the room at dark
it feels good to build up
this new functionality
it feels good to make things work and go
"beep"
when they turn on
... I should get a buzzer for my motherboard. Like, a really quiet one, that's
just louder than the fans.
looks at dwindling bank account
oh right, nobody will hire me, so.
I wonder if they would if I could still pass for a man?
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--- #199 fediverse/800 ---
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║ ┌───────────────────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: re: scary - suicide mentioned │ │
║ └───────────────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ where was I? oh yes - wrestling with suicidal thoughts is difficult because │
║ it's such an immutable action. Like, once it's done it's never reversed. But │
║ like, clearly this is hell and life was built for suffering? What the heck, │
║ that's such a grim outlook on life. │
║ │
║ ... │
║ │
║ yeah │
║ │
║ ... │
║ │
║ you're not wrong │
║ │
║ ... │
║ │
║ but suffering is fun? kinda? like, the only positive way to view this is that │
║ we, as immortal and endlessly eternal spirits that we be, grew tired of our │
║ infinite existence and dreamed of a mortal's plight and persistence? │
║ │
║ fuck off with that shit, I'm done with this reality. I'm done with dreaming. │
║ Suicide doesn't come easy to me, and there are parts of me that REFUSE the │
║ imagery, and yet they subsist in deliterious pain. │
║ │
║ what's the purpose of our suffering? What point is there in decrying the │
║ cruelty of the world that would deny our fated and desired ptolemeny? [utopian │
║ existence, don't know why that word was used] │
║ │
║ ehhhhh whatever. Life is defined by our existence. If I shan't/ │
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--- #200 fediverse/4902 ---
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║ programmers strike by breaking their part of the whole until the scabs can │
║ figure out how to fix it │
║ │
║ "marvin they will literally fire you if you don't go to work for a day! what │
║ are you thinking, standing outside all day? well, here, I've got a sandwich │
║ here for you, if it's really as bad as all that then I'm here for you. What do │
║ you need? I can ask the spinsters and the children and the teachers and the │
║ butchers and bakers and candlestick makers and maybe they can help out [with │
║ your farm, but as if speaking to a farmer]" │
║ │
║ huh. turns out it works best when you do something all at once. │
║ │
║ "don't be evil" ha fuck you. "dont be on my computer spying on me and │
║ recording everything I do" │
║ │
║ [well except me - it's fine to do to me personally because I'm a historical │
║ figure TM] │
║ │
║ "why bother spying? she spills out to everywhere she can find." │
║ │
║ owwwww I just bit my tongue T.T │
║ │
║ well, the inside of my cheek, but if you think about it the whole thing is │
║ basically one sensory organ. │
║ │
║ like, an ear, except with movable teeth │
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|