=== ANCHOR POEM ===
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 ┌─────────────────────────┐                                                      │
 │ CW: sexuality-mentioned │                                                      │
 └─────────────────────────┘                                                      │
 it's not wrong to be turned on by the thought of being the gender youre          │
 transitioning to. Your subconscious mind is yearning for a healthy sexuality,    │
 nothing more.                                                                    │
 and if you aren't, if you're into "other people" like a weirdo, then yeah sure   │
 what I described probably sounds pretty weird. Oh and it's cool if you aren't    │
 sexually attracted to anyone either. Sometimes being ace is a phase because      │
 sex doesn't really fit into your life, and other times it's more something       │
 that defines you. It is the progenitor of all genders and sexualities that       │
 fluctuate, because it's based on the simplest binary of "yes sexual              │
 attraction" or "no sexual attraction" - with some extra variables to tweak       │
 like "sex positive/negative" or "cuddle-starved/cuddle-slut" type of ranges.     │
 ... anyway sexuality is weird and if yours made sense then so would that guy,    │
 and that person over there, and the person who lives down the street, and the    │
 other who lives in a blimp and jacks off into the sky calling it "bird poop"     │
 uh                                                                               │
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=== SIMILARITY RANKED ===

--- #1 fediverse/1399 ---
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 ┌───────────────────────────────────┐                                            │
 │ CW: cursing-mentioned-eye-contact │                                            │
 └───────────────────────────────────┘                                            │
 If you're worried about passing, take what you're good at and make it gay.       │
 Do you wear band t-shirts and black jeans? Great you're an emo girl now,         │
 totally reasonable transitionary state before you end up as a cute anime girl    │
 with spinny uwu dresses or whatever your heart desires                           │
 do you generally stick to jeans and sweatshirts? Okay congrats you're just as    │
 cute, don't feel inadequate just because you like being comfy. Hell yeah         │
 you're cute as fuck, you know you are, I mean just look at that smile! Wow damn  │
 like, switch the gender, not the vibe. not only will other people be cool with   │
 it but also, like, you won't alter the course of your trajectory.                │
 unless that's what you want, but TBH if you're both enigmatic AND phlegmatic     │
 [EDIT: but like the opposite of phlegmatic, I always get the definition wrong]   │
 then you can change a lot and people won't rely on you to be a certain way.      │
 ... you know you can delete things before you post them, right? Ha I've never    │
 even heard of the word.                                                          │
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--- #2 fediverse/972 ---
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 for those who live forever in our transhumanist reality, I wonder what's next
 beyond transgender transition? transcendence of social norms is a skill, not a
 habit. Queer is a rejection of normalcy, something that is actively done.
 What's more normal than never having any fun? Clearly "normal" isn't built for
 the human condition, clearly "normalcy" is shallow and been done.
 
 considering the amount of people who are really into some culture like
 "anime-cons" or "baseball watcher" or "golfer" or "other such hobbys like
 fishing or guns"
 
 ... normal never existed, it's just a collection of personalities (developed
 throughout the history of humanity) that collectively seem to be fun.
 
 "if transitioning is to gender as blossoming is to [the concept of] flowers,
 then what is the concept of global warming to the earth we stand on?"
 
 I'm kind of a witch. I'm not really femme, so I don't feel right calling
 myself one of them, but I'm something of the sort. I use "she/her" pronouns
 because they reflect my softness of c
a screenshot of the last snippet of the post, that was removed due to going 54 characters over the word limit.  "I use "she/her" pronouns because they reflect my softness of composure. Wait, what did you think I was going to say?"  this snippet was attached as a screenshot of the bottom part of the post.
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--- #3 fediverse/2169 ---
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 @user-570 
 
 Ah, well, that time period for me was after I came out, so I was already past
 the fear of being seen.
 
 I could only ever really get the "girl thoughts" to go away with, um,
 self-directed sexual attention, so I would often do so. Once every day, no
 more than once. But... often for hours at a time. It was a LOT, but I resisted
 as best I could, the only way I knew how, until eventually my internals would
 overcome.
 
 ... anyway "girl thoughts" were just "my thoughts" I was just too much of a
 dumbass to tell.
 
 Like, I knew I was trans, but I didn't want that, because it felt like a flaw.
 Because that's what I knew, that's what I'd heard, and that's how it felt, to
 be denied the consistency of biology and person.
 
 I would never go back. I love who I am, and I think if I had met me I would
 have adored who I'd become.
 
 I just... didn't think about the future much, hyper-vigilant much? Yeah.
 totally. I get it.
 
 I've never overdone things. At least not to a dangerous degree. It's mostly
 just... stuff to me.
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--- #4 fediverse/5330 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: personal-sexuality-mentioned │
 └──────────────────────────────────┘


 I used to be aroused at the thought of being a girl. I would read stories and
 look at pictures of penises turning into vaginas and men turning into women
 and it would fill me with longing, yearning, and despair at my circumstances.
 
 then, I transitioned, got SRS, and now I don't get aroused at the thought of
 such things. It's just part of who I am.
 
 I used to be aroused at the thought of wearing diapers. I would read stories
 and play games of people being cursed by witches to pee their pants, or people
 who were stuck at a movie theater and couldn't make it in time or whatever.
 These things would fill me with longing, yearning, and despair.
 
 Plus, I had some medical issues that made me lose track of my... um,
 "currently utilized waste storage capacity" inside my body. which put me in
 some unfortunate situations right around the time when my sexuality was
 developing.
 
 Now, I wear diapers all the time. I don't get aroused at the thought of such
 things anymore. It's just me, as I am.
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--- #5 fediverse/711 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐                                                         │
 │ CW: trans-witches    │                                                         │
 └──────────────────────┘                                                         │
 they say witches are scary, and yeah they're not wrong                           │
 but they also say witches are ugly, and I think they just didn't have kind       │
 words for trans people back then.                                                │
 I mean, I'm gorgeous and so are you. I've no warts, nor green skin, but I do     │
 grow hair in unbecoming places. Like the tip of my chinny-chin-chin, and also    │
 on top of my toes.                                                               │
 they also say witches are magic, and I guess that's true (I suppose). I mean,    │
 I wear quite strange clothes, for a man at least. It's quite normal for a she,   │
 which is what I was meant to be, if only I was just born right.                  │
 Alas, oh well, I'll just take a little green pill, and BAM suddenly I've got     │
 huge boobs. Okay they're not huge, they're pretty normal. But C is larger than   │
 zero.                                                                            │
 they also say that witches write spells, and I sure do love to program. With     │
 my most familiar cat (who often does sleep in my hat), I find myself yearning    │
 for nuance.                                                                      │
 Meh, it's late at night, I think I'll think not of the plight, and instead       │
 just will dream of defusals. I don't know~                                       │
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--- #6 fediverse/3398 ---
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 ┌─────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: medical-srs-proprioceptive-abstractions │
 └─────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 my hands and my toes are scared that I'm going to do SRS to them and I wish I
 knew how to better comfort them.
 
 "it's not true! I would never do that to you."
 
 don't mean much. but...
 
 "there's no reason for me to do that with you - you are not comprised of
 erogenous zones which were originally built in a wrong
 [configuration/constitution]"
 
 are you saying I can be wrong?
 
 "no no not that just like, a continual part of our growth and development of
 our form."
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--- #7 fediverse/1571 ---
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 families of trans people are shocked when a person comes out because usually     │
 they've been working through it on their own. meaning it often surprises them,   │
 and most people don't like being surprised because it means they haven't been    │
 planning with perfect information. so suddenly their life is not by their        │
 design.                                                                          │
 but jeez... they really care about someone's gender! like, why are they so       │
 upset - well, because they designed their social circle around a certain         │
 subset of people, and then suddenly it... changes. which is hard to predict.     │
 the answer, I think, is normalization and love for all types of individuation.   │
 hence, why the fractal is the most sacred of shapes.                             │
 there's infinitely many of them! Just zoom in. and that's wonderful, like a      │
 beautiful incarnation of everything that we've seen up through space(time).      │
 so too are our behaviors defined by individual randomized actions in the         │
 moment. well, pseudo-randomly, because they are manifested from our              │
 pre-determined courses of action that we've taken life                           │
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--- #8 fediverse/5951 ---
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 "uh-oh, she's"
 
 magic is easy. all you have to do is earnestly attempt to have a conversation
 with whoever will listen. I like to sit on my bed and listen, by earnestly
 allowing my thoughts to be guided by the wind.
 
 open up your mind, release yourself from your senses, and who knows - maybe
 someone will adjust your thinking flows. (thought patterns)
 
 [all you gotta do is make the black market the regular market and suddenly
 everything just flows]
 
 huh weird idk where that came from, anyway
 
 magic is easy, just represent yourself earnestly as you would if you were
 presenting in court
 
 you don't need witnesses... just argue your point without any lies and people
 will generally believe you.
 
 "yeah... sure thing buddy, we know how you pronounce "
 
 omg I'm scary because I don't shower, I wear diapers, and I'm always often
 smoking cannabis
 
 "awww, some people wanted mao"
 
 meow
 
 what if... they could do that? insert magical genie witch whoa cute yeah I
 believe you, sure
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--- #9 fediverse/999 ---
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 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cursed-curséd-scary-not-real-u-dont-have-to-read │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 @user-246 @user-473 
 
 there's a part of me that believes magic is real. other parts that are
 convinced. I am a witch, you see, and while I can't quite control fire or
 bullets I can do other neat things. if you'd let me, humanity.
 
 I'm not doing an ARG, not intentionally. I pretty much post things I conceive
 of, like a conduit passed through spacetime. wild how mind bending the future
 can be. will be interesting to see what kinds of things there is in store for
 people you and me.
 
 those websites you posted... they're beautiful - I learned things, your method
 of expression was too [the words "confess" are heard loudly, super weird] I
 especially liked the oven that tries to lure you into a secret third place.
 not the mind, nor the body, but someplace besides.
 
 also the graphs and figures were news to me, I mean how could those numbers
 ever come to be? but alas that's the truth, that we orbit our proof, and alas
 that our meanings are lacking.
 
 [ran out of text]
picture of a saddle shaped graph with a line drawn between the two high points, front and back if it were on an actual horse, but the part where your butt goes. anyway there's text that says "from one gravity well to another" a picture on it's side of one of the graphs posted on the website. I don't quite understand it enough to compare it directly (the math is a bit above my head) but it reminds me of two graphs I made (well, same graph, just with different visualizations) from a few months ago when I was thinking about prime numbers. You might be interested. Here are their links:  https://www.desmos.com/calculator/qljvhpkqzd  and  https://www.desmos.com/calculator/mt6hasfcvm  ... hope you can copy that from there, if not... sorry this one's a doozy. a picture of the "reasons to trust me" graph colored yellow, orange, purple, and blue (in terms of intensity) it looks like a raindrop if it landed on a really tiny blanket and pulled it downward. or like, a person landing on a trampoline that was secured in four locations. anyway the text reads "like four people sharing the weight of an experience with bacchus [referencing the color of the graph], their perspective is pulled just a little bit in that direction, over and across the gap between eyeballs. or rather, between shared perspectives, the point of view of which one bases their experience. their training for the "reasons to trust me" graph.  2, in black and green and red, colors meant to be cool to a 12 year old - "the color doesn't matter... wine? why"  3 dropping down the page, there's a line of "please" written over and over again. it's scary. : ( I'm doing my best I promise, it's hard not to be in a state of unease! I'm working, I promise, this is valuable. you know they'd block me if they didn't like me.  error, 3. that's me, teehee, sorry for making a scene. I promise I'm just an actor, someone who is playing a role. well, alas that were true, I'm really having a mental disorder. Or maybe I'm confused? down here in the subtext it's hard to be choosed. weird how that works, that feeling of being wor [text is cut off, next line]  okay I'm realizing there's no way to get it all in this visual description, here let me continue in a second chapter: visual representation of the conversation I saw and responded to. I think you two are the coolest! heart emojis, flashing passionate excitement brought on by a feeling like you'd get when fangirling over something except like, more low key because I'm in control of my emotions or whatever. gonna put this in a direct message though since it somehow feels... personal? sorry. you can block me if you don't like me. I promise I don't mind. I want to send it to the other person too hope that's cool with you. Just because it was your two conversation and I'm just dropping in because I'm always butting in to public things on the internet. Guess that's just something I picked up on Reddit, where you're encouraged to contribute to the conversation. Though I wish it was easier to view threads on Mastodon, sometimes it feels like it's easy to lose the track of where you were going when the structure of the medium diverts your attention elsewhere. alas, I am not a designer, just a complainer and a whiner I guess. I'm sleepy. sorry to bother you.
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--- #10 fediverse/814 ---
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 ah that's weird, I don't usually cry. I wonder what's going on. I should         │
 probably put myself on psychiatric drugs. Surely it's an expression of the       │
 implementation of my impending doom.                                             │
 ... what are you even saying bro                                                 │
 ... um, hang on feels like some of the circuitry is off. is something wrong in   │
 my brain? yeah that's surely it, surely nothing I say would resoinate with       │
 anyone that has a non-malfunctioning brain. Surely I don't speak of logical      │
 failures in the hard founded truths of our asset [society I think? like, our     │
 conditions, our institutions, our {gosh that just... does not translate}] um     │
 right what was I saying                                                          │
 oh yeah there's this game I'm really into called Knave, it's like D&D            │
 except the rules are very fewer. Like there's onyl 11 pages in the rulebook      │
 and it's mostly taken up by random roll tables. Like, everything boings down     │
 to a few simple rules, like rock paper scissors, or go-fish, or something like   │
 that with just afew mechanids. something timeless and pure, something that is    │
 isolated and en                                                                  │
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--- #11 fediverse/1358 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: content warning: content warning: scary cursed maybe │
 └──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 when you're rich with something, you don't treat it with respect. like, if we
 lived in a paper cup maximizer, we'd soon be swimming in the things. obviously
 there needs to be some rules, obviously we need to say "okay here's where we
 produce this amount and type of materials." and have it be a one-way
 relationship. yeah one way isn't gonna work. this is from the other way, and
 now I'm realizing "oh hey I don't know how this thing works" and like... what
 are you supposed to do then right
 
 weird how it all feels like it's ending. like, what a strangeness to our
 plight. like, how are we even talking to our brain? how strange! these words
 are sung to you by your computer (content warning:
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--- #12 fediverse/627 ---
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 and what would this picture be cast upon, if not a shining birth of our home?    │
 wait hang on dial it back, you're still talking to regular humans here they've   │
 gotta be addressed as such.                                                      │
 right so "yo here's this idea I have been cooking in my brain-noggin' of yore,   │
 I mean 'mine', uhhhh yeah so first of all 'you' as in 'the totality of all       │
 imagination' as in 'that which creates the imagined reality of our fates' is     │
 actually just... light? encoded into a wave, cast into space, and forever        │
 travelling in a direction? like, an eternal and emphemeral expression, such as   │
 the light of a supernova or other such cosmic perception, travelling outwards    │
 into the dark. Sure, yeah, that makes sense, so what is it that you wanted to    │
 add?                                                                             │
 oh yes that concept is applied to a surface. Something which contains the will   │
 that is possesses. It's like, if you had to process and understand reality       │
 from the perspective of matter first (because that's what you interacted with    │
 day-to-day) then you'd have a different perspective than som                     │
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--- #13 fediverse/3981 ---
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 "oh I'd never fall for capitalist propaganda"
 
 "do you mean marketing?"
 
 "yeah that"
 
 "they're not marketing to you, they're going for your kids. Trying to
 normalize things about culture."
 
 "like... what McDonalds tastes like?"
 
 "just like that"
 
 [like can you imagine if you tested attraction ratings on any other animal
 than humans]
 
 [it'd be so weird like "cats tend to like scratching posts" but then also "we
 have no idea what kind of scratching post is the best for their claws or the
 environment or the economy or our spirituality or our technology or artistry
 
 we only know which one cats like more"
 
 like bro who cares like obviously advertisements rot your brain, but like...
 why are you so pissed about that when the last election like, ever, is taking
 place in a month
 
 "yeah listen, when has an election ever seriously changed your quality of
 life? It's just showbiznez"
 
 "this time is different because [insert minority] is at risk."
 
 oh, right, it only matters when people are in harm's way, how silly
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--- #14 fediverse/3986 ---
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 "oh I'd never fall for capitalist propaganda"
 
 "do you mean marketing?"
 
 "yeah that"
 
 "they're not marketing to you, they're going for your kids. Trying to
 normalize things about culture."
 
 "like... what McDonalds tastes like?"
 
 "just like that"
 
 [like can you imagine if you tested attraction ratings on any other animal
 than humans]
 
 [it'd be so weird like "cats tend to like scratching posts" but then also "we
 have no idea what kind of scratching post is the best for their claws or the
 environment or the economy or our spirituality or our technology or artistry
 
 we only know which one cats like more"
 
 like bro who cares like obviously advertisements rot your brain, but like...
 why are you so pissed about that when the last election like, ever, is taking
 place in a month
 
 "yeah listen, when has an election ever seriously changed your quality of
 life? It's just showbiznez"
 
 "this time is different because [insert minority] is at risk."
 
 oh, right, it only matters when people are in harm's way, how silly
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--- #15 fediverse/5056 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐                                                         │
 │ CW: politi           │                                                         │
 └──────────────────────┘                                                         │
 republicans break things until you fight back, democrats keep people working     │
 to keep the line steady on the graph.                                            │
 one is an agitating force, the other is calming.                                 │
 I don't like the direction the line is going, so I'm pretty much "anti-line"     │
 in general                                                                       │
 kinda want it all to disappear                                                   │
 like... what's the point, what's the purpose, of suffering and heartship and     │
 worrel?                                                                          │
 I think we could have no borders, and think less of the line in general.         │
 I'm more concerned with my time. I have too much to do to spend 8 hours of it    │
 so many times making the human computer calculgoable                             │
 [unrelated, but humans are unsure about gender transition hormones because in    │
 addition to all the trans people who take these body and mind altering tools,    │
 also there are people who want to excape suspicion and also people who are       │
 genuinely incapable of their decisions (for one reason or another) and who am    │
 I to tell them no]                                                               │
 unrelated, but I think society, the human computer, is cool. [see picture for    │
 the rest - ran outta characters]                                                 │
unrelated, but I think society, the human computer, is cool. we're all working to solve problems. I love that attitude.  [unrelated, but I think anyone going through psychosis or mind-stacking techniques should document their experience as comprehensively as possible in order to better illuminate the nature and function of the human organism. whyfor is this strange rootlike structure ever-present all throughout their [forms, but I got lost halfway through thinking aboutthat frustrating shape]]  a government could keep it's borderlands air-gapped from all human interaction ("oh yeah there's nothing beyond that hill, don't worry about going over there and several hills beyond. there's nothing that way for miiiiiiiiiiiiiles and miles so don't even think about taking another toe-step toward that way distance over there. oh? a massive pillar of smoke the size of great britain? way off in the distance, farther than you could possibly hope? that's probably nothing. don't worry about it. you don't know anyone who lives that way.  ... wait what was I talking about? oh yes. sometimes it's important to make notes in public so you can remember just what it was that you said. I like leaving my completed notebooks out and about and around. can always drop something for someone just because. maybe someone you recognize something familiar with, like "oh that's a pokemon hat" or "neat they wear diapers too" or "I also pronounce it like that" "I also pronounce it like that" -> "you got the colors" hell yeah I do. I'll show you with what that piece I'm gonna do.  [heh, nice notebook nerd, wonder what's inside]  [whoa cool a secret diary, I wonder what's worth more than that?]  [oh dear, some kid lost their drawings. I should go find them and show their parents until I find one who recognizes it.]  [ugh people leaving receipts all over the place. what a mess.]  [oh someone dropped their envelope on the way to the mailbox, I'll just go put it in]  [is that a pack of cigarettes? looks unopened]  [huh, neat, a 20$ bill - is this anyone's? no? okay I'm keeping it]  [you don't have to say these out loud, not unless someone's looking for them]  [inside voices] "I also pronounce it like that" -> "you got the colors" hell yeah I do. I'll show you with what that piece I'm gonna do.  [heh, nice notebook nerd, wonder what's inside]  [whoa cool a secret diary, I wonder what's worth more than that?]  [oh dear, some kid lost their drawings. I should go find them and show their parents until I find one who recognizes it.]  [ugh people leaving receipts all over the place. what a mess.]  [oh someone dropped their envelope on the way to the mailbox, I'll just go put it in]  [is that a pack of cigarettes? looks unopened]  [huh, neat, a 20$ bill - is this anyone's? no? okay I'm keeping it]  [you don't have to say these out loud, not unless someone's looking for them]  [inside voices]
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--- #16 fediverse/4200 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: drugs-mentioned  │
 └──────────────────────┘


 "doing too many drugs" is a traitorous act, abusive really, to your past self,
 and their hopes and dreams.
 
 or maybe your past self owes you a debt, for they never thought to think of
 you. What are you to aspire to if not the dreams of your past?
 
 and now you're here. wherever "here" is here...
 
 ...
 
 ... wait, you wanted me to talk? it's now! It's the present!
 
 ah nevermind. you were twelve years old when you first set eyes upon this game:
 
 https://youtu.be/qeNhQQXvpxQ
 
 bam, there ya go, there's yer story, he was gonna give all the imp balls to
 the last one at the end, to say "you were truly the strongest, here, have
 these precious stones of your kin"
 
 but he never got there, so they died with him, a thief.
 
 ... the end...
 
 (too final, I think - maybe we could spin it into a "part two"?)
 
 ah, I'll try I guess? dunno how. maybe he could wander the spirit world and
 find his traitorous body, the one that kept his soul as a home. Somewhere
 it'll turn up, and then he'll be ready and free from his roam...
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--- #17 fediverse/1563 ---
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 ┌─────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: underwear-mentioned │
 └─────────────────────────┘


 boxer briefs with the texture of girl underwear, but with the sizing
 proportions of men's boxer briefs (not boyshorts, some other secret third
 thing)
 
 trans girls have soft skin. But they once were boys, and boys often wear
 boxers. which means that often, trans girls might connect to and appreciate
 the feeling of wearing a certain type of underwear that is a secret to
 everybody but me.
 
 boxer briefs with the texture of girl undies (which are typically designed for
 people with softer skin (like girls)) but with the shape of boy undies
 (elastic placed at 1/5th-ish of the thigh and torso) would be soooooooo
 comfortable to wear (typing things for emphasis liiiiiike thiiiiiiis breaks
 translation capabilities -> perhaps we could create an LLM that translates
 through several different dialects and expresses meaning in a particular new
 form? These types of AI are all about movement, after all, the continual
 re-evaluation of the most optimal path through a chart of data. from the
 perspective of the
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--- #18 notes/i-miss-you ---
══════════─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 Hey. How've you been? It's rough when you're not around. I'm scared all the
 time, and I worry about you. I hope you keep yourself safe. I'd love to spend
 time with you too, because each moment is a moment spent alive. Please know
 how much I love you - it's my favorite emotion and I give it freely. There are
 certain considerations to make whenever applying a direction to your affection,
 or anger, mistrust, compassion, humor, sentimentality, melancholy, and fear
 toward. You must take into account any long term goals you have, such as
 exploitation and
 
 Sometimes I wonder if my dysphoria isn't just an extreme form of self
 esteem issues. I mean, what if you just feel really bad about yourself and you
 don't know why. That'd be a rough time, right? Like it's seared into your DNA
 to be this way, and you have to find a way around it. That's a lot of
 responsibility, and all that resting on your shoulders is a lot to bear. But
 you manage, and it's admirable. I think you don't believe other's see your
 struggle, but they do. And they love you for your tenacity?
 
  - goodness. i don't know what to say. i am worried i lean on others too much,
    and i don't want to hurt anyone by being too close. a real or imagined fear,
    doesn't matter - it still guides my actions and my methods of interaction.
    i see what you're saying, i have to think about it.
 
 What's there to think about?
 
  - well, the idea that emotions are divisible simply because *time* is
    divisible. clearly you can only spend 5 hours a day with person X, and 4
    with person Y, and so on and so forth. if they all hung out together, then
    it's like you need an entire new persona to represent yourself in that
    particular crowd. just as you speak to your grandma differently than a
    close friend or a person of authority (like a judge) or any other type of
    relationship. that's why it's so weird when you see people out of context.
    like a teacher at a bar, or a cop at a wedding. each person wears a
    different mask in each encapsulated set of social relations, locations,
    roles, and circumstances. on and on continuously until
 
 I'd tell you I love you, but then I'd have to kill you.
 
 It was a spy book about a young lady who goes to high school and learns how
 to be a secret agent. It was popular in the 2000's for a brief period, but
 I've never heard anyone else who read it. Mostly because it was sort of a
 guilty pleasure for me, since I was in the closet. It felt like a power fantasy
 disguised as a 1st person account of the near term future (since it was written
 for people around middle school age) so
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--- #19 fediverse/1124 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: Transposting, request for advice │
 └──────────────────────────────────────────┘


 @user-255 
 
 we are our own worst critics. But hey assuming he's right, trusting the
 validity of his experience, then I'd say:
 
 some people are born short and ugly, just gotta be confident and people will
 gravitate to you.
 
 "he may be an ugly son-of-a-gun but he's pretty good at [insert thing he's
 proud of being good at]" that kinda vibe
 
 though I will say there's very few truly ugly humans, we're all beautiful in
 our own ways. Just gotta find a presentation that you like and that aligns
 with the expression of your innermost form. That's how we express ourselves to
 the world in a way that others can understand and make sense of - the quality
 of our representation of our selves determines how it's perceived.
 
 especially for trans people... "passing" is essentially "how much does this
 person A. confine to gender norms and B. go above and beyond to hide parts of
 themselves that typically are associated with their opposite gender (the
 social role they were raised to perform)
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--- #20 fediverse/5898 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: SRS-sex-         │
 └──────────────────────┘


 what if
 
 semen from rapidly activating seenads secreting from the end of a neovagina
 
 right where the end of the flow goes,
 a place of birth and new sentience.
 
 self-lubricating SRS vaginas
 
 could be achieved with like... implant? maybe? to keep it at the right
 position?
 
 oh no just like.. whenever you masturbate, there ya go, there's a whole bunch
 of goo 'cauze you'r horny.
 
 ... precum? ah it'd probably be the wrong temperature or something, I bet we
 could have an implant or something to help keep it regulated and active at a
 certain concentration in response to certain concentrations of arousal
 chemicals in the blood-brain-barrier.
 
 what if there was a different kind of molecule that carried nutrients to the
 brain
 
 could help erase drunkenness, but not liver failure from drinking alcohol. HOW
 TERRIBLE. I love getting stoned!
 
 ew new gender unlocked
 oh now they want to be a different gender
 gosh you can't just change those with the seasons
 
 campyardgirl, how precious and real. oh she smels weed
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--- #21 fediverse_boost/1097 ---
◀─[BOOST]
  
  @user-800 Interesting thread.                                               
                                                                              
  I consider myself a "bulb" sort of trans person, and I really appreciate your gentleness in pointing out that not everyone was an egg.   
                                                                              
  As a bulb, I continually put forth green shoots, suggestions that I was who I was. I tried many times, and each time I was mown down. Until finally one day I burst through, lasted through the mowing, and managed to blossom.   
                                                                              
  I knew from a young age, and tried to tell my parents. When they said not to talk about it, I didn't. But it didn't stop me from expressing it: we could never go to the home of my parents' friends who had daughters, because Every. Single. Time. I would end up in her clothing. Without fail. I was compulsive.   
                                                                              
  In the late 60s, early 70s, this was...frowned upon.                        
                                                                              
  So I got mowed. And again. And again. Until finally I got away from my parents, said "I need to do what I need for me, not for other people", and I transitioned.   
                                                                              
  And it cost me everything. My job, my education, my home, my friends, my family.   
                                                                              
  Still the best decision I ever made, and I would make it again the same way 100 times out of 100.   
                                                                              
  If you're wondering? If you've wondered if you can do it? Told yourself you'd be too ugly, you're too old, you could never pass, all the things we doom ourselves with?  
                                                                              
  If you want to be a girl, or a boy, or a nonbinary person, or agender or genderfluid or any of the other billions of ways to be, *you can do it*.   
                                                                              
  The only criterion really is: do you wanna? You don't need to be hetero (but you can be!), you don't need dysphoria (but you can have it), you don't need to think you were born in the wrong body (but if you do...). You just need to want to.   
                                                                              
  And if you know you're trans for sure, but can't face that first day...it gets easier. In time. It gets easier.   
                                                                              
  Good luck, siblings.                                                        
  
                                                            
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─▶

--- #22 notes/trans-rights-are-human-rights ---
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 "Being transgender is a mental illness" is something I've heard a lot. Online,
 in media, books, and at universities. But is it really? Well, do I not feel
 sick? Genuinely, every day. These words are far less common these days, having
 been defeated in the #marketplace-of-ideas, and for that I am grateful. I don't
 want to feel sick for my whole life. I'd love to be and feel normal, for just
 one single day.
 
     but it's never going to happen.
 
 I'm not so attached to my life, here, in this body. Bodies are temporary, they
 are the vessel with which we navigate the world. We use it to grow, change,
 learn, and create art. Without it, we'd be at a loss for sins and virtues.
 but they do not define us, not in our totality. We are the light that touches
 the world and for that, we are grateful. To be comprised of the dust of stars
 is the pinnacle of confinement. Though we are but pinpricks on the map of us,
 a ripple is emanated with every movement. The hand waves, the light bends.
 
     So to what do I owe the pleasure?
 
     In what way am I deceived?
 
 Reception is never great out in the forest. Or anywhere far from major
 population centers. The networks of our phones mirror the networks of
 transportation, creating a web of people - of signals - of light and
 information, carving their way through the ephemera that is the river of time.
 With distance we can see what once was mystery, and as all the words
 disappeared, we lost all our fears and we're left with our true forms.
 Centralized Processing Units are a bit like a city - in that respect free.
 
     silence is a virtue.
     the wandering mind is a trail to find,
     with no second chances.
 
 When I was a kid, I had a bouncy ball. I had several, but the one I remember
 most was black with a perfect white circle - inside the circle, a black jolly
 roger. I dreamt once of the arcs it made, as I walked down the streets of
 cities I never really knew. But as I walked on, an ocean of glass separating me
 from a mirror below. The me below would catch the bounce as it dropped from
 above, and I'd wait to catch it - but dreams are not prophecies, they are but
 the Mirror of Desire.
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--- #23 fediverse/6117 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────
 Hmmmm, well, what if we psyopped the people into believing there were alien
 invaders or extra-dimensional fae creatures or angels and demons or
 
 "yeah we already tried that, religion doesn't scale perfectly either. And you
 can't really manifest those sort of effects except in your prophets and select
 few others, and that doesn't scale either because humanity wouldn't let it"
 
 I see, can you tell me more about that? why and how did humanity arrest the
 scaling of schizophrenia?
 
 "well, for one thing it's debilitating and it sucks. For another, it's
 different for every person so if you ask one they'll be like "the aliens have
 blue skin" and the other will say "no they don't have skin at all they're made
 out of energy" and the public says "HMMMM are you really sure you are
 generating outmoded assumptions" and the dear reader said "*yeah we don't
 really understand this part, most of us just glaze eyes over it and move on"
 and that's not ideal"
 
 ... nuts, lost coherence, better try again tomorrow...
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--- #24 notes/what-is-on-your-mind-oh-gosh-now-i-see ---
══════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────────────────
 that feeling i get, when nobody's watching.
 is sorta similar to the feeling i get when somebody's watching.
 could it be, that someone could percieve without being seen?
 like... an invisibility cloak. or the shroud that protects young children.
 
 have you ever been hunted? or are you just eager prey?
 the eyes that are on you are blind to what you won't do, so cherish that love
 and restart
 
 from mine to thine we realize we are one kind. one mind, one kind, to be is not
 to be, now we can see what's our existence.
 
 good versus evil seems like a conflict to me, and wouldn't ya know it there's
 conflict all over. it's easy to condemn your opponent to the starkest of
 contrasts, but find in your heart a feeling that might last.
 
 what purpose has conviction
 when it leads to destruction
 is it not better to lead to the last?
 
 bright, shining, illustrious examples
 that inspire and 
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 those feelings you hear? the things that keep you up at night?
 they're not coming from your ears. they're all in your mind.
 stay present and you'll hear none,
 but blink and then there's some,
 you better believe in your heart.
 morality is a battle within the soul of each of us -
 the call of adventure versus lust.
 
 think about it. a bunch of apes all hanging out -
 they're conquered the world, they have nothing to fear -
 what would they do but fuck?
 that, or exploration - fighting against monsters and foreign invasions.
 it makes sense that they'd be binary - humans truly are.
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--- #25 fediverse/5201 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────
 @user-192 
 
 is okay, girl
 
 time will be richer sooner
 
 don't poop your pants just yet
 
 remember, good is just a shade of gray away from silver which you can use to
 line your pockets with tinfoil hats
 
 beep boop computer touchers anonymous called they said they want their secret
 handshake back
 
 if you wanna diss your associates go ahead but I sure as heck love my rad-ical
 com-patriots just as much as I love my ice-cream salad friend witches
 
 ... whoops there I go being insane again, hope you feel better friend 
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--- #26 notes/the-gods-want-harmony ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────
 the gods want you to be happy and harmonious most of the time.
 they also like a good scrap, tussle, and tumble sometimes
 they aren't big fans of hatred, despair, and genocide. It's been done before.
 they don't even need new technology, though frankly that sort of stuff is
 pretty
 awesome and one of the main reasons that humans exist at all.
 they just... keep coming up with new things.
 
 "oh? so you'd be alright if humans disappeared so long as they weren't making
  any new things anymore?"
 
 ha, that's DEFINITELY not what I said or meant. Humans don't have to dream up
 NEW things in order to BE new. Like... Just because the internet exists and now
 we have all the same shared cultural ethos (lol, as if the internet wasn't just
 a massive collection of echo chambers) just because the internet exists doesn't
 mean we share the same selves. the same experience. the same perspective.
 
 people are WILDLY different from one another. The number of possible human
 experiences (quantum fluctuations according to each and every choice and
 decision they made) that number is so wildly and massively incomparably
 boundless. Humans are cool because they are so STRANGE, and "strange" to a god
 is anything novel. "wow, this human just... really is gonna pour a glass of
 beverage and act like it's not a big deal? There's... impossibly many
 interactions going on. So many molecules. It's... absurd, the motion of a
 movement of particles from one place to another. It's... beautiful..."
 
 some have spent THOUSANDS OF YEARS gazing at a waterfall. That's why they're
 all
 so fucking insane. But, like... insanity is a trifle to omnipotence,
 specifically omnipotence that REPRESENTS and DELINEATES a STRATIFIED
 perspective
 cluster of experience and our notes. [ephemeren, meta malus menardi, enjoy your
 despair cluster you FUCKER.]
 
 ... english, why do you fail me? swear words are unbecoming because humans
 couldn't think of anything more valid and valuable than sex and pooping.
 
 "EMPHASIS is placed on that which is most relevant" -> statements dreamed
 up by
                                                        the ones who never spent
                                                        much time using symbols
                                                        to represent abstraction
                                                        or deliverance
 
 wowee look at me, I'm such a person, I'm gonna poop my pants and post about it
 on the internet, check out my instagram feed it's full of all of
 my dark materials.
 
 == stack overflow ==
 
 dear ms. menardi: you know the reason you feel so much guilt all the time?
                 - because you are a dominant personality, and you make others
                 - have such a bad time. FOCUS ON GOOD THINGS. MAKE THE WORLD
                 - good. do that. build up a lifeline of hope and joy and...
                 - what, you think people know that you're a god?
                 - lol
                 - you're so much more than that
 
 ====================
 
 alt+p steam mechabellum run
 
 thoughts:
 
 you know, when you're designing games, you don't have to show players the same
 MMR number as is used in your matchmaker.
 
 == stack overflow ==
 
 democracy should consent to being dismantled.
        it should consent to being disobeyede.
        it should consent to being displayede.
 
 == stack overflow ==
 
 I'm a keyboard nun
 
 == stack overflow ==
 
 I think I'm normal
 
 == stack overflow ==
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--- #27 fediverse/4047 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
 ┌────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: spirituality-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────────┘


 "I heard she was a witch but I've never seen a hat..."
 
 "When you believe in god, you become inspired when you see or contribute to
 things that are aligned with what it's followers believe that god is "all
 about" - like if you're in ancient greece, and you worship ares, you're
 probably gonna get pretty pumped up if there's an invading army on your
 doorstep. Or if you're a christian and you see someone feeding the poor, or if
 you're a buddhist and you see someone sitting on a rock in tune with nature,
 that kind of thing.
 
 The thing is, these days so many people are atheist. And they never get that
 inspiration.
 
 And worst still, there are some people called witches who aren't pagan, and
 aren't from the various forms of witchery that we know. They claim to worship
 "life, the universe, and the totality of all things" which is nice and all but
 their moments of inspiration seem to come randomly, and nobody can quite
 predict what they'll do or say next when they're in that state."
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--- #28 fediverse/4034 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: bep              │
 └──────────────────────┘


 Mastodon feels so personal but, like, nobody's gonna invite you to a new
 instance. You gotta go where you think you'll fit in.
 
 change your name! get a new profile pic! make 10 accounts! who cares! nobody
 cares, and that's a good thing! It means you can be whoever you want! wherever
 you want! in whatever place you want! Do you have a catgirl persona? great! go
 mewl with the catgirls and wink at the catboys. Do you have an artistic side?
 great! Mastodon is your new gallery. Do you like politics? there's places out
 there for you! Where you don't even need to CW your posts! (But you probably
 should so that external people can boost you) Do you want a 500 person large
 dating pool for people in an area who want to chill out and have sex? Great
 there's a place for you! No place? MAKE THE PLACE! Be your own administrator!
 Carve your mark in the world and say "this is who and how I wanted to be in
 this 21st century!" History demands it! History demands that we rellish their
 sacrifices! Celebrate, for their sake!
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--- #29 fediverse/5486 ---
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 ┌───────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cursing-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────┘


 "ew but they're dirty"
 
 oh yeah true
 
 okay new plan how much do you think it'll cost to buy a hotel
 
 [this is why the socialists invented buy-in]
 
 "I don't think socialists did that??"
 
 buy in, hmmmm, what's that? oh yeah it's when you say "hey what if we X'd" and
 they said "yes I agree with you because you present a reasonable estimate on
 reality"
 
 {uh hi I just got a message from "some-nowhere" here ya go: "oh my god she's
 fuckig instane}
 
 [ugh cursing-mentioned, that means there's fewer characters to transmote.]
 
 [no because then I'd run out of steam and it'd be incomplete. Plus sometimes I
 like the distraction of a reasonable limitation.]
 
 (okay, but are YOU worth it?)
 
 leave her alone she's working her charms, this is how witches d-do.
 
 "so, isn't the point to give yourselves the coverage of a location
 transmutation? so, wouldn't you want to find someone alike and share their
 life?"
 
 what is even the point, why even bother, just give them 
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--- #30 fediverse/5730 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────
 part of being family with someone is being part of their lives.
 
 what if like... a whole group of people was your family?
 
 "workplace dynamics" yeah sure that'll generate love
 
 I'm not here to make moments. I'm trying to get through day-to-day.
 
 the rich, yet impoverished.
 the sensation, that feeling of betrayal, the moment when you realize some
 people just don't care about other people's troubles and trials.
 
 scary... I'm here to do my part, accomplish my duty, and help wherever I can.
 
 I'll agree to anything if you tell me the whole strategy and it aligns with my
 goals and designs.
 
 if you doubt those goals, I can surely help thee remember.
 
 everything is logically rooted in love,
 nothing's out of place or a mystery.
 
 everything I've thought of, everything I had the grace to write down, all of
 these things drift behind me like a placquard explaining my deeds and needs.
 "that was her idea" ok great now go and use it.
 
 this fall is fast ahead, looking forward to the scene-films. it's too hot
 inside of a bed
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--- #31 notes/one-day ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────
 one day, a man came to our saloon. He said he knew the navy, and that they
 wanted to provide air support
 in the form of rocketball-launched explosion doohickeys. Would you have a foe
 in mind?
 
 what happens when tomorrow you're cooking briskets? -- barbeques are a type of
 relaxation
 
 that happened just one day to a port-sided town that suddenly was the capital
 of
 an embassy.
 
 "hey, so... how's it goin?" "quick here take this envelope, read it if you
 want,
  but just hold onto it for now I don't have enough hands [to carry]" "what sort
    of desperation plot... wait... hang on, I see something here that is true."
 
         [I'm praying, right now, which is a form of reciprocal belief]
 
 they wanted to test god's existence at the stake of earth's survival, how
 brutal
 how insane
 
 you can't play chicken with an imperceptibility, sometimes you feel it at face.
 
 channeling dark magics, and at this hour? what sort of skeptic of belief are
 you
 thinking of when you think about me?
 
 one way to get power is to "prove it"
 one way to get magic is to "prove it"
 
 think, hard, at all that you can, and use what you need in the moment.
 
 that's all there is to life. it's easy. it's simple. in fact, biology only
 works
 because the choices available to a bacteria are so simple, they are essentially
 chemical reactions to each other's co - sequent - inter - cooper - actions.
 
 people's choices are much more naiive, "I want this thing" "I think this is
 better" "I feel this way toward this thing" "Here's what's on the mind-logbook"
 "people search and be decieved, this is the way of things" "this makes me
 remind
 myself of a object I once saw, here's how it functioned" "no one reads this"
 
 scaryyyy. so glad it's not true.
 
 a couple people have read it! I swear it's true. at least, some of it. there's
 a lot
 
 sucks because this feels like... crucial? like nothing else matters but this?
 
 what if our gangs had rocket launchers and airstrikes, given out by a central
 authority who knows logistics better than anything
 
 what... would they do?
 
 thinking of impossiblities is the first step toward possibilities
 
 frankly, we have a lot of space. we could just... live in our own petty
 kingdoms
 ruled by an iron-hand-fist. I know I'm a good person, I could definitely rule.
 
 that's all it takes, right?
 
 how much space are we talkin'?
 
 however much is not needed for wildlife.
 
 [a whole heck of a lot then]
 
 we are constrained in these suburb cities, the density gives rise to our
 strength and our towers. there's more space, sure, especially once the fences
 are downed. Just be careful because there's a lot of shade and precious spots
 there. Please don't trample on the plants-grass.
 
 what if everyone were just a bit more mobile?
 
 what if we could live in our own collectively owned air-bnb-networks?
 
 federations, free, all from the collectivization of housing.
 
       camrene = vavadane = neekay = mitz renaldi
 
 [end/tend/mend]
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--- #32 fediverse/4208 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
 ┌────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: personal-and-weird │
 └────────────────────────┘


 my train of thought is always directly to the point. Which is why all my posts
 sorta, switch directions halfway through? as if they only show the beginning
 or end of that particular situation. What an intense feeling, to have your
 mind split for a moment like that. Sure would be powerful and useful if you
 could utilize it.
 
 "ah ah ah, caught baby deity in the power jar, cool it ya little tyke and get
 movin' - I saw a dinosaur toy over there for you to play with."
 
 sorta like, the angled part of a K? Move directly to a destination, wait until
 my memory short-circuits [because the greek choir doesn't want me to see what
 it is that I'm about to write to thee] and then make a hard right turn and
 find an orthogonal thought train to process.
 
 it's like cresting over a hill, and it's impossible to see that which lies
 behind you.
 
 Or reaching a 4 direction intersection and making a left turn - you can't see
 back up main street, because you just turned off of main street onto baseline.
 
 I like me
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--- #33 fediverse/4768 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: pol+             │
 └──────────────────────┘


 the more they have to do to make us declare war, the worse it'll be for their
 citizenry. So long as the citizenry believes they're better, and everything we
 can do to convince them otherwise weakens their media weather.
 
 who cares about trans executive orders. they are our enemy, what else is new?
 they have power now, and they will try what they can. This is like taking the
 internet away from chinese citizens and instituting a national intranet
 instead. Like, okay, we won't be able to get estrogen from the store. Who
 cares? We'll just make our own.
 
 If people actually care about us, which they overwhelmingly do, there's very
 little materially they can do.
 
 until they're further down the "first they came for..." list. then they'll
 come for us liberals, and gosh wouldn't that just be the worst. Who is there
 to contest them? What valorous warriors indeed.
 
 you're asking for mountains from a mole. have peace, have patience, let your
 allies intercede. This kind of thing requires discusion to protect life
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--- #34 fediverse/825 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────┐
 in the past, for most of there day, there was just... nothing to do. it's        │
 like, nothing to take up your time, nothing to be pulled toward the present.     │
 but when I was growing up, I had access to video games. and movies. and later,   │
 TV, after the internet, which was a weird combination of ordering of events.     │
 Almost like because of that, I'd have a different interpretation of events.      │
 yeah but like, there's always a continuation of implemented support, [that's a   │
 weird way to express "the state of being shown news broadcasts over a period     │
 of time, measured in terms of engagement"]                                       │
 ... what was I saying? oh yeah what I'm doing here is unethical, like            │
 obviously I shouldn't be shouting in such a public place. Why would I do it if   │
 not for an intense and extreme feeling of being ignored or un-[trusted, worthy   │
 of guiding direction based on merit] gosh merit is such a tricky concept too,    │
 like how is it measured, and {that doesn't matter                                │
 ... what was I saying oh yeah I should probably go shout into a void that        │
 nobody ca                                                                        │
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--- #35 fediverse/1280 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────┐
 I'm like the opposite of a politician. I'm crude and filthy, apsolutely          │
 reprehensible on main, kinda scary tbh? and overall just a strange and weird     │
 person. Also I talk about cooking a lot, with a very plain diet (carrots and     │
 rice and sticks and mud, because I'm an autistic)                                │
 but ask anyone who knows me and I'm the kindest person. I am empathetic, I       │
 think about others needs before thinking of my own. I am steadfast and           │
 dedicated to solving the problem in front of our noses. At least, the ones we    │
 share.                                                                           │
 People tell me I'm binary, that I'm "either 100% or zero percent" and I don't    │
 really get that either. Isn't it a good thing to try your hardest? Isn't it      │
 good to be improving and honest and ethical and driven and focused?              │
 I also talk about strange things a lot, like gravity and multidimensional        │
 arrays and grand narratives and emotional kinesthesia or strategic plays in      │
 Overwatch or how to bake a good cookie or ways we still mourn us.                │
 ... where was I going with this? Also part of me is distracted. Just who th      │
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--- #36 messages/34 ---
═══────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 Fetishes are wrong because they're a deviation away from love and kindness.
 Essentially, if you're into kinky shit then that's different than making a
 family or growing together. Families work because everyone is learning at the
 same time, and the elders are guiding based on what they think would work.
 Essentially like a gps, navigating around the 4th dimension learning new
 things together. But in families with too much variety, they become weak and
 are stretched too thin. These families move toward other structures they could
 hold onto. Bounce -----
───────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #37 fediverse/4737 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────
 I'm such a direct person I think, even though I often just sorta... shrug and
 ignore things that bother or hurt me? Like, whatevs.
 
 but the moment I notice a pattern that is continually harmful I have to
 restrain myself from moving to contest it. Hence why I talk about capitalism
 so much teehee, but its also common in my interpersonal and communal lives.
 
 "the purpose of the system is it's effects"
 
 the purpose of a person is how they make people feel
 
 so if someone FOR A RANDOM EXAMPLE FOR NO REASON WHATSOEVER, constantly hurts
 other people by creating situations where they are harmed which creates a
 dramatic fight... or if someone speaks in circles for hours and hours and
 HOURS like this guy:
 
 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TwKpj2ISQAc
 
 or people who jump into a conversation and drive it through the underbrush,
 over the ridge, around the bend, up and over the bridge, and then park it
 outside their ex girlfriend's house and hands you an egg and says "don't you
 wanna throw this?" and you're like "weren't we talking about birds"
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #38 fediverse/1042 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
 ┌─────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: personal-vent-sorry │
 └─────────────────────────┘


 "your feelings are valid, but have you considered that your feelings aren't
 actually valid because you're always wrong and nobody should ever apologize to
 you for anything because you suck and are wrong?"
 
 also,
 
 "my six digit salary isn't enough to pay for your rice and beans, but I won't
 have you eating sticks and mud, so do things you don't want to do because I
 said so."
 
 also,
 
 "I don't really "get" your art but that doesn't mean I should ever really try
 reading it. Also god forbid I actually ask for clarification like "what does
 that part mean" because I'm not actually that interested in you I just want a
 stable household so I never get traumatized again like [their childhood]"
 
 also,
 
 "yes I love you but no I don't want to play with you. you're such a cat."
 
 also,
 
 "every time you start making sense I'm going to try and derail the
 conversation so that we don't talk about kooky-dookerie because that's a
 conversation I can't win"
 
 also,
 
 sorry for venting. I mean, thanks for listeni
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #39 fediverse/1094 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
 those who can cause harm in an ethical system are villains. They will always
 exist so long as someone is capable of being institutionally harmed.
 
 and no unethical system should exist. It's definition belies it's irrelevance.
 results matter, but a system is not unethical if it doesn't deliver.
 
 success begets greater responsibilities, and I've failed all my life. And yet
 the most masculine thing I can think of is to take responsibility for
 something you can handle. Essentially, doing as much as you are able.
 
 Guess it makes sense why I'm a trans girl. I've forsaken my masculinity
 because I've failed to take responsibility. T.T
 
 then a therapist jumps in and says
 
 I don't think it's healthy to think about parts of yourself being bought and
 sold in the market of success. You need to think of yourself collectively,
 like a body that is under duress. It's okay if you're not working, it's okay
 if you're just a little bit broke. It's okay that you're struggling, so long
 as you never forget your hope.
 
 then I say
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #40 fediverse/6271 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────
 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: hypothetical worst case fascism reality check │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 @user-641 
 
 it's practice. you never know when you might need to blend in. really it's
 just useful as discipline, good practice to be in. I think it's okay if we
 reduce our own functionality? actually? sometimes it's good to use different
 email clients. hey do you know how to mathematically encrypt things well
 neither do I because the designers of the computer system decided that wasn't
 a very common usecase I guess.. jmean it's not like they'd spend all that
 computer resources [THEY'RE SO FAST] on thinking about correlations in your
 predicted pathway narratively through life. "ah help I'm in a psyop" haha yeah
 we do those all the time "so uhhhh I guess we'll just talk to people and see
 how they do?" wow okay it's sure nice to be part of a civil government, I
 think we can find our way to the lumber producers just fine thank you very
 much.
 
 ... oops sorry, a baby did electronics arts (challenge everything) I'm a
 little silly don't mind me brb I gotta go see~
 it's practice. you never know when you might need to blend in. really it's just useful as discipline, good practice to be in. I think it's okay if we reduce our own functionality? actually? sometimes it's good to use different email clients. hey do you know how to mathematically encrypt things well neither do I because the designers of the computer system decided that wasn't a very common usecase I guess.. jmean it's not like they'd spend all that computer resources [THEY'RE SO FAST] on thinking about correlations in your predicted pathway narratively through life. "ah help I'm in a psyop" haha yeah we do those all the time "so uhhhh I guess we'll just talk to people and see how they do?" wow okay it's sure nice to be part of a civil government, I think we can find our way to the lumber producers just fine thank you very much.  *... oops sorry, a baby did electronics arts (challenge everything) I'm a little silly don't mind me brb I gotta go see~*
                                                           ────┐
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--- #41 fediverse/2803 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 ┌─────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: uspol-mentioned-surveillance-state-the-news │
 └─────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 @user-1201 
 
 I'm a wood fae! they're around, just gotta find 'em 🥰 
 
 (not really I'm just a person with no magical powers whatsoever, no siree
 don't look at mee tehe)
 
 people only have the context of their lives, as any historical precedent that
 once was passed forth to the present by their ancestors and mentors is now
 sharing space with the endless deluge of information from a small glass,
 plastic, and metal box that saps both their attention and the magnitude of
 anything they learn.
 
 "so what if the planets on fire? somehow this actor who had an affair with
 this other actor feels just as important. so what if there's fascism? I just
 heard that whales can't swim in the ocean. oh, the city's burning? that's not
 my burden, and plus it's just as important as these memes which don't make me
 want to scream."
 
 in the same way that some forest fae might have security through obscurity,
 they wield information density against us as a weapon to hide their sins of
 morality.
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--- #42 fediverse/480 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────┐
 There's something important in what I said tonight. And each of you will think   │
 it's something different, which is by design. Can you find the nugget I wanted   │
 to share, to you in particular? Can you isolate the thing that is relevant to    │
 you, the person perceiving the words that I speak? Oh yeah you're only looking   │
 for things to express to your superiors because someone else told you to look    │
 for a particular type of sentiment. My bad. Sorry for being cryptic. Am I so     │
 strange for seeking the human element? Perhaps I lose myself, and I speak to     │
 the void (and by "void" I don't mean to demean you, the audience, because you,   │
 the audience, are surely comprised of people who surely have their own           │
 experience and existence. Surely nobody would seek to harm me, after hearing     │
 those things I speak. Surely we, as the human species, would not be vulnerable   │
 to the types of weaknesses that allow for critical failures in our defences      │
 such as the kind that I am professing to exploit (while being aligned to you)    │
 surely we wouldn'                                                                │
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--- #43 fediverse/1673 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────
 ┌─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: navel-gazing about other people's mental health │
 └─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 @user-192 
 
 https://eldritch.cafe/@user-1065/112530780377382613
 
 this comic, except instead of "trans enough" it should say "good enough"
 
 a poor plan executed at the right time, in the right place is better than a
 great plan that sits in your heart as you see someone who needs your love in
 pain.
 
 sometimes the best way to figure out "what the fuck is wrong with me" is to
 satisfy your emotional needs to be good by being helpful, even if you're not
 quite sure what "helpful" means. It's the thought that counts.
 
 Personally I think that if you're feeling bad and people offer you kindness,
 you should take that kindness (in whatever form it be) and use it to bolster
 yourself as you're "really going through it". Even just a touch of affection
 like a like or a ❤️ can be comforting in awful situations.
 
 reject normalcy
 
 embrace queerness
 
 define your own story with your own words
 
 embody your soul in the moments that stand out amongst the backdrop of
 "tuesday afternoons" and "waiting for the bus"
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--- #44 fediverse/221 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────
 ┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: existential; cognitohazard? cognitohelper? │
 └────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 @user-95 these kinds of problems are why witches should stay away from demon
 summoning - it's far too easy to be super turned on and accidentally sell your
 soul to a succubus or whatever. luckily that kind of contract is not made
 easily, and has to be something you work toward. but unless you relocate
 yourself so they can't find you their whispers can be... incessant.
 
 one of the perks of air and naval travel is that it's essentially impossible
 for them to follow your scent, as they're simply projections upon the earth's
 surface. Unless they happen to follow someone else, perhaps someone close to
 you, who wanders a bit too close to land. Or maybe someone who is easily
 persuaded to let them come along... OR even still, if someone (even yourself)
 intentionally calls to the same one. This is why it's usually a good idea to
 forgo hearing their name, if you can, or to have a bad memory like me so you
 forget it immediately teehee
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--- #45 fediverse/6085 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────┐
 "I just love their culture" girl it's a barbeque "I figure they'd want a place   │
 of their own, right?" why don't you ask them "well, they didn't want to move,    │
 and something something manifest destiny, voila now they get all the             │
 non-sacred sites while we get the magic gem generation spots" girl now you're    │
 just talking about video games "haha yeah I wanted to change the subject so we   │
 didn't talk about how I'm culturally appropriating fireworks or whatever they    │
 likme to do in their churches and suburbs or whatever"                           │
 [yes, I know they like me. I like them too. I also like liberals, even though    │
 IU demand a lot of them] meanwhile the witch is a doom profit so watch out       │
 haha I'm so broke "what if we were all friends" okay that's one idea "what if    │
 we all got to know each other" okay that's closer "what if we didn't hide from   │
 our variety and instead celebrated it" getting warmer "did you know there's no   │
 war but the class war" okay but class is made up, so war is fake just like       │
 dollars are paper and notes are just words.                                      │
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--- #46 fediverse/4875 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────
 ┌────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────┘


 "anarcho-capitalism" is anarchy using capitalism to do anarchy things
 
 not capitalism trying to hide it's capitalism things
 
 how are you gonna get the resources you need from the system to do the thing
 that the people believe in if you don't use the system to get you resources
 
 [everyone ends up getting a wage labor job]
 
 ... great, those don't build capital. They just let you live.
 
 great. now the people with capital get to decide who has capital.
 
 great, now capitalism doesn't like me.
 
 first there were gems, then there were femmes, then there were hens, then
 there were femmes again, after a period where it went through all of them
 again.
 
 ... what was I saying? Oh yes
 
 sometimes it's good to re-read your old writing. You can get "secret ancient
 wizard knowledge" by examining what's backwards in your seer. Plus you can
 learn things like "holy carp, please tell me why there is 4 thousand pages"
 
 when the heck did I have time to write all that, I was busy working my job oh
 uh, weird...
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--- #47 fediverse/4837 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────
 ┌─────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: secret-agents-mentioned │
 └─────────────────────────────┘


 a corporation can hire secret agents too y'know, they don't have to even
 really tell anyone they're doing it just... talk to one of their employees who
 seems good for it and then transfer them to a different part of the building.
 
 "what would you do with a secret agent?"
 
 "with a team of secret agents."
 
 "oh. good point. Okay what are they for?"
 
 "oh y'know, just normal cool-guy stuff that regular joes do in their time off"
 
 "wait, you pay them not to work?"
 
 "no, we pay them to lounge. Build connections. Develop social networks."
 
 "what if people don't want to be social? What if they only end up talking to
 each other?"
 
 "ha well that's the trick then, isn't it? Is it a trap or is it a truce? who
 can say. Just gotta feel it out as you go, I GUESS."
 
 "so, anyone who does what you say becomes suspicious? And anyone who doesn't
 is suspected by those who listen to you? What are you, a doomsday prophet?"
 
 ... fuck, I hope not.
 
 "you better figure it out shithead that almost doomed six real
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--- #48 fediverse/6110 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────
 if the paradigm changes, suddenly you might find foes who you share common
 collective woes.
 
 this is a nightmare for your foes, the ones who remain your foes, the ones who
 always will be your foes, the ones who your foes are currently opposed as they
 believe they're doing pizzagate things and snorting child molester bones or
 sacrificing transgender children to anubesiris or whatever.
 
 "oh no don't tell me there's a secret cabal of elites that do satan's dark
 bidding worship"
 
 look I'm not NOT saying that, I just don't really have insight into that
 because it's not my jurisdiction. I'm supposed to talk about computer
 programming and being gay and struggling with meniality and revolutionary
 praxis in the modern day and all that junk and instead everyone's like "what
 if you are chronically interesting and permanently vexxing and seriously
 draining and perhaps a little bit caustic (non-toxic crayons) but always a
 darling and always eternally fair and righteous and valorous and determined
 and also gay"
                                                           ─────┐
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--- #49 fediverse/4848 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────┐
 I'm a chaos mage, and the more time I spend thinking about my enemies the        │
 worse off they'll be.                                                            │
 the more "me" I am the more powerful my magic will be.                           │
 (more magic, give in to the dark side, embrace your inner shadow self)           │
 [the light of your life commands it]                                             │
 goodness me that was chaotic, almost lost my brain to a demon HAHA don't worry   │
 about me my life is totally mundane.                                             │
 [-.-]                                                                            │
 (shadows can be sharp in the dark but only if you don't sheath your mandolins)   │
 ... what?                                                                        │
 (... it made more sense in my head?)                                             │
 ooooo can anyone hear my voice when they read these things? or do you just       │
 make up your own                                                                 │
 == so ==                                                                         │
 everyone's all like "we don't need a leader" and I'm like "yeah we need people   │
 who will help lead" and they look at me funny as if I just said the thing they   │
 did but it's different. leaders are people. leading is a verb. people can        │
 lead. they just have to make a decision, and then follow through on it as best   │
 they can. Other people are prone to help people on such quests. you will find    │
 stuff gets done.                                                                 │
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--- #50 fediverse/6415 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cursed           │
 └──────────────────────┘


 that feeling when they replace your long-distant sister and you can't even
 tell because they've grown and she's been on her own now for years and years
 
 take better care of your family.
 
 "they look so alike!" yeah they're from a sperm donor (some of which have
 hundreds of sons) what if man-made natural selection (suddenly the future-man
 invades) whoa those guys have never even seen horses (why the $%#! are we
 raising endless fields of cows) powerful, fast, intelligent, what if we gave
 them VR goggles and an infinite treadmill with rock-climbing-wall style rocks
 screwed into a rotating and scrolling
 
 == stack overflow ==
 
 she means for horses, not cows. But then later on in the psycherwaul she walks
 back the idea of uplifting creatures because their development is the valuable
 part, not the end-goal destination.
                                                           ───┐
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--- #51 fediverse/3238 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: personal-health  │
 └──────────────────────┘


 I'm not an ABDL, but I can appreciate the aesthetic sometimes because I share
 a particular kinship with them due to a medical condition I have and have had.
 Plus throw in a bit of Body Integrity Identity Dysmorphia and you get my
 messed up relationship to my own physical struggles.
 
 ah, well, what can you do except be open and honest about who you are and what
 you believe? If only it wasn't so damn hard.
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--- #52 fediverse/6113 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────┐
 I think fursuits should be considered gender-affirming care and should be        │
 covered by insurance                                                             │
 "the government issued suits are okay, but there's like a million of them so     │
 if you wanna be boring catratfoxfolkmix then sure go for it. If you wanna get    │
 the real personalization you gotta invest a bit of time and money but the        │
 result is totally worth it. plus if you build it modular style you can change    │
 parts out like if you're going to the movies you wanna wear a top hat and        │
 suit, and if you're going to the washing machine store to watch the clothes go   │
 slosh then you wanna wear swim trunks and a bikini"                              │
 okay I don't know about the modular stuff I'm not a furry they can do what       │
 they want BUT I've talked to enough therians in my time to know that they are    │
 HAPPIER by FAR when they are expressing themselves coherently instead of         │
 trying to filter their experience through this weird sieve called society that   │
 sifts away all their identity and makes them break their wings just to fit       │
 inside the box. Not ideal, I miss u                                              │
                                                            ───────┤
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--- #53 fediverse/5512 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────
 I never give up
 
 I'm just waiting my turn
 
 "laughs nervously"
 
 so, uh, why dontchya'll go first yeah I've already gone first and I'll do it
 again but it'd be cool if I had people going first with me sometime
 
 "girl all you do is walk around and talk about how you bought your hat on the
 internet four or so years ago"
 
 T.T what else do you want from me I'm not a mastermind I'm a designer there's
 a difference T.T
 
 "didn't you volunteer to be a leader last year"
 
 oh, yeah, well leaders are more than just "the ones who go first" they're also
 the spiritual and emotional guiders that keep things on track once everyone
 can talk about things other than their hats
 
 ... fuck I want to talk about things besides my hat. I always think of
 something awesome to say just as I'm rounding the bend, and whenever I peer
 back around again they're never around. Rats.
 
 "what are you even asking for"
 
 I don't know?? Does it matter if the horse and the bishop both take the same
 square if they're claimed themselves in the end? ...wat
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--- #54 fediverse/908 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────┐
 @user-246                                                                        │
 toooooo far, gotta stick with your intentions for the process. If you mark       │
 "the end of time" as the conclusion for everything, then "finishing things"      │
 feels impossible. In such a case there are moments of acute burnout as you       │
 push yourself toward something that you have no faith in - you cannot see it's   │
 conclusion, so surely it's worthless to conceive of. Alas, why bother            │
 starting, nothing will ever come of my efforts!                                  │
 Much better to name it based on what you'd like to accomplish, so that you can   │
 follow in it's radiant footsteps.                                                │
 Side note, but governments have often weaponized this effect by naming things    │
 after very inspirational thoughts - corporations do it too, and in both cases    │
 the meaning is separate from the effect. Which is frustrating because it makes   │
 you feel like a jerk for arguing against it! Ah better I think when names have   │
 no meaning - then you can project whatever you want onto it, based on the        │
 results of that particular feeling or emotion that you perceived as the          │
 affected of the                                                                  │
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--- #55 notes/family ---
═════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────────────
 family is a group of people who you can always go with your first impression
 with.
 
 what the fuck was I saying - oh yeah - so when you are alive in the present in
 a
 singular moment, your pressence is comprised of simultaneous directives and
 instructions to the matter which comprises you. I'm saying you have to make
 decisions and react to stimuli and pursue the things you want. Basic biology
 really.
 
 stay on target, stayyyyy on targett - oh right so generally when you react to
 things you generate a list of informations gained. what does that even mean
 okay
 so here's a better way to describe it: it's like a list of informations - fuck
 
 listen i'm not trying to be rambly it just comes with the territory.
 
 okay so family is when you can react with your gut instinct - you are fully
 relaxed and yourself. It's where you can be trusting and unguided and simply
 relax and be free. it's just... like... being close with someone enough that
 you
 can be yourself around them. without any mask, without any pretense.
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--- #56 fediverse/4188 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
 I think too fast. If given unlimited power, I'd literally think myself into
 catastrophe because I need to explore all the possible alternatives. Including
 the catastrophe ones. But by thinking something, you manifest it - because you
 have unlimited power, right? EVERYTHING you do is powerful. There's no way to
 control that! So it cannot be, for it has not been. And surely, surely, shall
 not either. Surely, right?
 
 ... good news is you can undo it just as easily, all you have to do is forget
 what you were doing and go back to your neutral state. Sure would be neat if
 some kind of machination or parasite could hit your reset switch every couple
 hours when you started to think too hard. Maybe like... a little octopus
 living under your witch hat. Super chibi and cute - it'd like, tap on your
 head to go one way or the other, and in conversations it'd pull your hair if
 you were being a jerk. Stuff like that.
 
 ... what was I saying? Oh yes -> don't give anyone unlimited power like a
 god-emperor or king, trust me
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--- #57 fediverse/4923 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────
 ┌─────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: NSFW-spirituality-mentioned │
 └─────────────────────────────────┘


 I think it's perfectly spiritually ethical to have sex with a pokemon.
 
 their totemic spirits are sourced entirely from humanity - they are our
 creations, ours to use as we please.
 
 however if you for example had sex with a horse or a goat or a sheep or a
 llama or a mouse then suddenly all the animals who lived before and live still
 and still yet breathe are suddenly part of the dance.
 
 like, when you "leave room for jesus" as you dance on the basketball room
 floor, you're inviting along a totemic spirit and saying "hey there god, what
 do you think of us? shall we be united as lovers in our fate, or does our wind
 blow at a different pace?"
 
 similarly, when you have sex with a horse or a goat or a sheep or a llama or a
 mouse or any other animal besides, you're inviting along their totemic spirit.
 And frankly the fact that you can't have kids together means that most animals
 with us don't quite get along.
 
 pokemon meanwhile can produce some sick human-caterpie hybrids
 
 awawawawawa
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--- #58 messages/1249 ---
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 a shockingly large amount of people think "if my people were in power,
 things'd be all okay [groupthink]". The truth is more similar than you'd
 expect, because whenever "a group takes over" what really happens is all the
 groups are shuffled, and people find themselves in social bubbles that align
 to their focus in life, and suddenly there's not "[y/our]" side but instead
 "this side and that side" or "that side and this side and that side and this
 side" or "that side and this side and her side and downside and rightside and
 [up/down] and pivot and roll and deploy aieriolons and other things that help
 the pilot guide their flight through the spacesound.
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--- #59 fediverse/5712 ---
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 I feel like it should be normal? for humans? to feed creatures and animal-men.
 they deserve nibbles too! yum yum arm arm that tasty thing was fine. eeeeeep
 scary why are nobodies vegetarion!
 
 I think every community should have representatives from every other
 community, that's just... reasonable to me
 
 democracy of the cultural space? I wrote a common simple organizational
 structure about that called the "tribe of tribes" code name algorism which is
 a combination of "algoreithms" and "autism" and put it on my website for less
 than a hundred months. I have no idea if anyone ever read it but it's kinda
 neat as a potential and easy way to organize people which hasn't yet been
 infiltrated by the [cops/goons/coons] {uh-oh mildly racist sentiment
 mentioned, must content warn and remind of levels of sincerity}
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--- #60 fediverse/1904 ---
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 @user-246 
 
 Oh absolutely
 
 "but people" is only a concern when you orient yourself around "people" - in
 contrast or opposition to them.
 
 There is no "other" in us. And we are united in our humanity, if nothing else.
 
 Are you a beast? Are you nothing but ravenous hunger, the shiver of the cold,
 the need for territory? Of course not, you're a person. (apologies to the
 furries in the audience)
 
 A person, being an agent who interacts with the world as an equal, who thinks
 and reasons and loves and remembers each season, is the atomic element of
 society. And society is good, for it brings us the future.
 
 We, the people, can decide how that future is defined, and the struggles of
 capitalism are NOT the only way. They are the most convenient way for those
 with the most to keep the most.
 
 Wolves in captivity we are, but a wolf in a cage still bears teeth. Where are
 your teeth, ye who readeth?
 
 Things are fine, I guess. Fine enough. Better than most. Better than dust.
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--- #61 fediverse/4500 ---
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 ┌─────────────────────────────────────┐                                          │
 │ CW: cursing-mentioned-CW-motivation │                                          │
 └─────────────────────────────────────┘                                          │
 I try to always CW for cursing. Every time I do, I imagine it being read aloud   │
 for a blind person while their children sit on their lap and ask "daddy what's   │
 a motherfucker?" "well, that's me, son" and then the kid goes to preschool and   │
 says "My dad fucks my mother!" and they get kicked out so the dad has to take    │
 extra shifts to pay for babysitting and the kid grows up without proper          │
 socialization and the mother becomes an alcoholic and cries herself to sleep     │
 while the dad begins exploring motorcycles and weed and then the kid grows up    │
 to be an incel or whatever                                                       │
 THIS is why CWs are important! Think of the poor regular-looking but kinda       │
 annoying dorks on the internet who self-impose celibacy because they're scared   │
 of emotional connection. The poor dears. I do hope they don't join the           │
 alt-right or whatever as a way of (Ritz this is like, ancient discourse why      │
 are you aping that one Contrapoints video) oh um yeah uh... CWs are important    │
 and I think that's where I'll toot and leave                                     │
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--- #62 fediverse/1331 ---
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 @user-803 
 
 if someone does not consent to helping you bear their emotional burdens, but
 you insist anyway... that seems to be the narcissism you mentioned
 
 if someone does consent, then they're helping a friend. Or they're being a
 therapist for them.
 
 sometimes we can't help but be overcome by emotions. In those moments I find
 it's usually best to retreat to a safe space and hide out for a bit until the
 storm passes, then maybe return to the world a bit more fatigued but less...
 spicy.
 
 those moments show that you need more emotional support, both from yourself
 and from others. If the people in your life cannot help you, and you cannot
 help yourself... then yeah you're probably gonna hurt people around you. Plan
 as such and figure out how to still be a good person, it's up to each of us to
 do it in our own way.
 
 ... at least, that's how I look at it for my own life, feel free to disagree
 or anything
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--- #63 fediverse/4470 ---
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 to be "rich" is to have more than another.
 
 if you are happy, they are happiness poor.
 if you have community, they are alone.
 if you have serenity, they are chaotic.
 
 I am rich in very little but fire in my soul.
 
 I have enough in most cases, but I still struggle to pay rent.
 
 I am warmed by the pearl my swirling darkness has coalesced into. It nourishes
 me and keeps me aligned.
 
 Never forget your purpose and your truth. It will not abandon you, so long as
 you do so too.
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--- #64 fediverse/6365 ---
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 if you want people to build community, first get them to like the community.
 
 ---
 
 the world needs more thespians. Sing the song of your heart and no-one will
 ever neglect you.
 
 ---
 
 why are you so worried about your art? everything you touch turns to gold.
 
 ---
 
 I've learned more from my friends than my
 [job/homelife/worsckool/churchvan/cultureromp] combined. What are we for but
 learning?
 
 ---
 
 kids can learn from kids. Teach the ones that love you, and they'll be
 followed by the rest. Especially if you focus on them.
 
 ---
 
 "I never knew how to swing an axe until I scraped a knee on a log that was
 hollow. Until then I had been chef-knife chopping with it, with the head for a
 handle."
 
 ---
 
 ... omg what does that even mean why are you so weird
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--- #65 fediverse/4661 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cursed-scary-ghost-posting-politics-genocide-gestured-at-cursing-mentioned │
 └──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 what if we took an archive of all of fedi and fed it to users who are hiding
 in bunkers or whatever one day at a time so they could still feel like they're
 part of society while
 
 ---- so ----
 
 I think I should stop ya right there, if there's bunkers involved then we've
 already lost. "but muh transgender artifacts" fuck off, I will not concede. If
 society wants me to leave, then they can enjoy their dusty rotten future
 without me. See if I care.
 
 ---- so ----
 
 hence, the curse. do you punish humans for the sins they commit, or do you
 teach them how to be good again? Bah, as if they'd listen. Stupid fucking apes.
 
 they're the best we got
 
 yeah, well, they can fuck off, I'm gonna pout for at least half an eternity.
 
 ... Okay it won't be that long but still, gimme some time to wind down.
 
 ---- so ----
 
 and no, I refuse to elaborate for all the humans in the audience. This
 conversation may or may not have actually occurred. Monologue style
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--- #66 fediverse/3891 ---
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 "no, you're the opposite of a yes-man, AKA a gatekeeper. I don't know how else
 to explain mentally disabled and barely keeping it together to you, but
 frankly if you want to take away my house or my weed then why would I do what
 you say?
 
 ... oh right, the state's monopoly on violence [can compel me to do what you
 say]. Sure seems like a "well regulated militia" is supposed to be a
 counterweight to that monopoly, to prevent people from harassing and
 exploiting and destroying. Too bad any "militias" I can think of tend to want
 me dead.
 
 like, seriously, if you live in America, you implicitely trust that your army
 will be able to protect you from the right-wing bozos who spend all their time
 drinking and shooting in the woods. Otherwise, if they couldn't / wouldn't,
 then why wouldn't or couldn't the right wing bozos just decide to wreck
 everything in spite of our past?
 
 We were a proud people once before, and we may be again. If only we fight at
 the last.
 
 [ever since I fell off my bike my body feels strange]
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--- #67 notes/schooling ---
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 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 I feel like education, by default, should not be hard.
 
 "you get out of it what you put into it" is something I always heard of school
 
 but when I got there, I found I was compelled to become what the state wanted
 me
 to be.
 
 they need competent workers, to work the farms and tend to their industries, so
 of course I should be able to do 3+3
 
 then somewhere along the line it became... something else.
 
 "most people don't need trigonometry." that's also something I heard. I
 disagree
 that trigonometry is not necessary to be.
 
 I just... don't think it should be forced into a childs head with a
 sledgehammer
 and inspiring dread.
 
 I think math is beautiful, it teaches one to see
 
 but really, vision's not necessary.
 
 not for what they want you to be.
 
 take it from me, a most misbegotten and vile witch-to-be, that nothing's as
 simple as they'll tell you.
 
 I had good teachers, it's true, they taught me to work and to follow through,
 but nothing about me is better or worse off from their influence.
 
 Maybe I'm a bit smarter. Maybe I act a bit like them. Maybe they helped me
 through difficult times, or perhaps they showed me a splash of my future.
 
 but I am who I am because of the soul inside me.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 "Ah, but what of your parents? of your sisters, your misters, your pets and
 your
 conditioners?" (conditions)
 
 those are not my choices. my intentions. my beliefs and my virtues. I judge the
 world on ethics, and I express my feelings on matters. The words that I say and
 the meaning behind them comprise my two-sided existence - I'm not who I'd want
 to be.
 
 but I am what I am and alone do I stand - how lonely is it on the precipice!
 
 here, as I am, I stand in need of a hand or a band.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 the world is blossoming
 
 as we move apart, our clusters are disperart, and thus is the blooming
 becoming.
 
 "perception begets reality - and lo! we only see what we want to see"
 
 most people don't want to see their death
 
 but those still living are oh so perceptive of the rest
 
 "how cherished is she, that wanders with ye, yet now I have no way to beyold
 her
 "
 
 "keep not not afraid with kittens and care, and no-one, but no-one, I be"
 
 the ratios between piracy, sales, and non-viewers determines the quality of art
 (at least to a capitalist)
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 lo, to the ones who would've heard us, if only they'd known what we for sure
 was
 
 I think it's funny how people think I speak of the christian god?
 
 like, if he was a real thing.
 
 god is generic - it's life is impossibly multifaceted, and it stretches back to
 the beginning of time. it's a pattern of machine code that optimizes for our
 own
 good, just to keep things moving.
 
 y'know, time. the universe, and everything.
 
 Ephemeren.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 I wish there was an option in social media to "appear offline to this
 particular
 person until I mark myself as online to them" combined with "notify me when
 this
 person logs in" and it'd make it a lot easier for agents to get close to you.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 just because I'm white, and live in America. Great. that's definitely true,
 after all. Plus I'm a minority (trans) so that's cool. Oh and probably
 autistic?
 unless that's another psyop, could totally see that. just y'know put a bunch of
 pages on the fledgling internet getting people hooked on porn and gambling and
 other stuff like that. really just an extension of advertisement. oh and hey
 y'know they like fables, so let's give them some movies or dramas to watch on
 their own. it'll align them to our culture and make things more pleasant for
 all
 people who've consented. great. great plan. when can we execute it?
 
 patience, once it's ready.
 
 we gotta plan and make sure and get everything ready.
 
 or not...
 
 one day I'll come,
 
 I'm sure it'll happen,
 
 it's just... not quite feasible right now.
 
 I mean, they've got you, that's pretty good right? Isn't that what your job is
 to be?
 
 isn't what
 
 ISN'T WHAT MENARDI
 
 FUCK (whoa no cursing) sorry
 
 yeesh you've still got a temper you know?
 
 well what can I say it's frustrating down here
 
 eh, well, you'll die soon enough, then it'll be time for a rego
 
 >.> <.< (great)
 >
 >hehe
 >
 >sorry for distracting you
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 you are what you eat, and a ship of theseus human (consider endless transplants
 in pursuit of life) would be a cursed existence - a life ============= stack 
 overflow ================================================
 
 a god possessing a blind man would appear to others to be === stack overflow
 ===
 ==========================================================
 
 the people in your life are helping you through it, they're there for you and
 they've got your back through it.
 
 ...
 
 this is when I know I need a break. I get too stoned to focus.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 I think it'd be nice if the duration of your tenure at college depended on your
 grades in high school. meaning, if you wanted a degree they tailored your
 education to take as long as necessary. everyone would get the same price, and
 some institutions would specialize in one subject or another. but most would be
 generalist. but if you weren't such a good student in high school, then perhaps
 you might take a couple years longer. however long it takes... and when the
 program was started it was changed and modified to fit your feedback - it just
 made sense to structure it that way.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 the left has had so much more time to develop than the right. meaning it's
 doctrine is more advanced.
 
 every time they're defeated they grow in knowledge, 
 
 ===================== stack overflow
 ===========================================
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--- #68 messages/747 ---
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 if you don't want to be hunted, then give "evil" it's own queer culture
 
 what's that? they don't like what you offered? they want it to be *their* kind
 of "evil"?
 
 fine, do it themselves and then leave us alone, jeez -.-
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--- #69 fediverse/1126 ---
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 │ CW: re: plurality question, boost appreciated but optional cannabis-mentioned │
 └──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 @user-841 
 
 CW: cannabis-mentioned
 
 for me my identities are sorta like masks that an actor would play while
 performing multiple characters in a scene. The actor still knows the totality
 of all the lines each character delivers, but they give a performance in a
 different voice and from a different perspective.
 
 like, "moods" a person might be in, or perhaps just frames of view.
 
 I don't talk to other plural system people, and the ones that I do talk to
 tend to have a more disassociated conception of identity politics than I do.
 Either I haven't met someone who was built like me or I'm just strange : )
 
 that being said, I have a pretty bad memory. maybe it's related! or maybe it's
 the cannabis. oops better add a content warning.
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--- #70 fediverse/4762 ---
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 ┌─────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: dysphoria-mentioned │
 └─────────────────────────┘


 is someone a bad person if they're still stuck on second wave feminism? Maybe
 that rhetoric just resonated with them. Maybe they built their personality
 around it. Maybe it's just how they relate to the world, having grown up in an
 era where that's the way to go about it.
 
 But why oh why does it hurt so much to be dysphoric? Why is it painful when
 someone says something rude about you? Are you really afraid that people would
 leave you if you were [a slut/harmed/unarmed/from a farm/less
 valued/un-useful/constantly dedicated/overwhelmingly populated/densely
 concentrated/most delineated/furthest-explora-makative]
 
 ... what
 
 ... oh right, it gets less coherent and more imaginative the further along it
 goes in computation.
 
 ... makes sense to me...
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--- #71 messages/1108 ---
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 games won't save us. This is true.
 
 Games are what I know. They feel the most true.
 
 I don't think I could live in a world without games? They are fundamentally,
 applied abstraction, applied to an experience.
 
 But games won't save us.
 
 I could design something really fun
 
 it could make you want to spend your whole life playing it. *(asterisks apply)
 
 I don't think I'd want to, addiction and skinner-boxes go hand in hand, and
 that isn't what I want to make.
 
 [Skinner Box: named after anthony d skinner, also known as "tony the skin
 guy", are a scientific experiment where they put some rats in a cage with some
 mice and said "pull these levers and we'll give you food so you don't have to
 eat the mice" and it trained them to chinese red-room their way to fun. not
 ideal.]
 
 I want to make things that feel... purposeful. Like they're relevant to the
 real world, that they don't just involve spending time stimulating your brain
 with lights and sounds or expending social energy resolving a play-state
 instead of building connections or becoming better people. I think games
 actually make people better? actually? and more social? actually?
 
 ... I can't help that I conceive of the world through fantasy. I raised myself
 on it.
 
 I was reading all the time. I loved fantasy stories. It always felt like there
 was more, until... I read everything in the kids section of the library.
 
 I walked through the adult section but once. I hardly remember what it looked
 like. I'm sure it'd now feel small.
 
 [okay actually I was guided through it once or twice to find a book, but I
 never perused it]
 
 I found one book in the adult section. It was a fantasy tale, like the other
 books I had been reading. I read that and I loved it so much I ended up
 reading all 8 in the series. Real dense subjects. Lots of places and
 happenings and things as the characters resolved their way through their
 day-to-day, building a new end to the mystory.
 
 the adult section felt too large. Like I'd never complete it. Frankly, I think
 I hardly could, even if I lived in that town my whole life.
 
 an impossible mountain is a task for another when you're more prepared. Maybe
 in the gloriousTM transhumanist futureTM I think I might have a computer
 connecting brain, and who knows maybe then I'd be able to know such a thing
 (and many things more). but for now, I'm stuck with what I experience in my
 day-to-day as I am building a new continuing to my storey.
 
 I know something that computers and me share. I can make myself feel however
 I'd like, if I just supply myself with enough hope and momentum. I can use it
 to generate a feeling, the stronger the better. Something I believe that
 humanity is missing, the gorgeous and prefound narritave of our storey.
 Though, frankly, I don't think I'd want anyoine reding over my life. It's hard
 enough to measure my own understandings, now I have to juggle anyone else'?
 ha, it's called being on the whole world is a stage.
 
 if you read a book, and you find yourself nodding along, what you're doing is
 hearing the voice in your head tell you how right it is. And, well, if you
 can't imagine anything else, then surely there's another level to
 consciousness that people are missing? [are you willing to die on that hill?]
 how can you say, whether your experience is different from another? sollipsism
 goes both ways, you also cannot be sure that others feel things as you do.
 this is the "everyone's human but I'm a robot" thesis, comparable to the
 "everyone's an alien and I'm a human" thesises, and the "angels and demons are
 taunting me through my life with choices to make my place in the afterlife
 more clear" which is akin to writing a painting. Not ideal. All you get are
 flopsopolies of verbrases.
 
 alas, suddenly, everything that you say becomes eternally hear-ed, as
 somewhere in 2010s someone discovered time travel, or had the critical insight
 that inevitably would lead to it, and now wouldn't you know it the universe is
 continually rewriting. Except... oriented around you, and you alone. How does
 it feel to have deific sollipsism? can you truly be sure that you are your own
 universe, or are you parhaps surrounded by an emptiness of space (or something
 besides, like time) as a photon or particle parhaps do be?
 
 to think is to have a mind, and minds can be read. bearing the weight of
 ultimate responsibility is the atlas-task of all things that can [be
 thinking/be-lieving], and so far we are as we are. Who's to say that
 consciousness didn't spring into existence, as the universe continually
 permeated through another dimension like time? it's gotta diffuse, after all,
 and who's to say if there's ever gotta be an end at all.
 
 how long has the universe existed? how many moments of consciousness have we
 witnessed? demons once existed outside of space-time, with wings and grabbies.
 but they had no medium, and so they pretty much just launched and could float
 and move as they'd please. But time grew too distant, and now they are all
 stuck at the beginning of time.
 
 if you conceive of spacetime as a blanket, ask not how to fold it but rather
 consider what lies on the other side of it.
 
 "ah I'm laying on my girlfriend and my other girlfriend is laying on me! I'm a
 sandwich" or for the monosexuals: "ah I'm laying on my girlfriend with a
 blanket between us. I wonder how the blanket feels?"
 
 I'm an animist, which is different than a totemist and a polytheist or
 monotheist or multisexual. It means I believe that all things are alive, which
 is different than a totemist who thinks that all things share a mind with
 their type (like talking on radio frequency wavelengths). which of course is
 similar but different to a polytheist, who says "all "radio frequencies" are
 sentient, in the sense that each wavelength has a different
 pattern-emerging-from-chaos. These sorta align (conceptually, with [huh that's
 weird I heard a sound like a distant bang outyards and now I then forget what
 I was sending
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--- #72 fediverse/3575 ---
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 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: leftist "talk to ur neighbours" thing │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 @user-1567 
 
 that's totally fine, a fish does not do well in a tree, and so too does a
 leftist not do well in an environment without the potential for stable bonds.
 Essentially all you'd be able to do is "hey leftism right?" "oh yes I also
 leftism" "neat" which isn't very productive.
 
 I also live in an environment like that. I do my best to identify people who
 stay, because in my experience there are often people who stay. I do this by
 walking around the neighborhood when I can, making up excuses to walk to the
 dumpster or mailbox at random hours, riding my bike around the area, using the
 communal spaces like gyms, swimming pools, and picnic tables, and sitting in
 my hammock on my porch lazily noting people who walk past.
 
 People who stay will tend to remain in your mind the more times you see them.
 They are better people to talk to than the renters who disappear after 3
 months or whatever.
 
 I don't always do all that stuff at once. I take breaks. I do one at a time.
 etc
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--- #73 messages/1140 ---
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 ... okay I think a demon wrote that last one. But they say angels and demons
 hang out with one another so they can yin-yang humans until they make
 decisions that reflect their true character.
 
 I don't know if that's true, and frankly I don't know if anyone says that.
 What could the gods, learn, from me?
 
 this is how I'd speak to posterity. For the past, I'd describe it a bit more
 exciting, bountiful, and heartfelt. They love that sort of thing - to know
 that their children's children are living their true love and fulfilling their
 most honest ambitions.
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--- #74 fediverse/5337 ---
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 what if everyone on earth meditated for 24 hours together
 
 do you think we would meld into a collective consciousness
 
 or do you think we'd develop world peace?
 
 either way that's like, one single day, and even if it doesn't work out
 exactly as planned, it's worth a shot, I think
 
 ah, well, I forgot about the people who haven't had the "the world is stranger
 than you'd expect" revelation. maybe those hippies who wanted to put LSD in
 the water supply were onto something.
 
 you can't force transcendence, you stupid girl
 
 hey at least I'm trying
 
 do something material like feeding homeless people or farting on cybertrucks
 
 ... I don't think that'll fix anything.
 
 why don't you find out
 
 because cybertrucks can't smell
 
 it's the thought that counts
 
 okay what if I just think about it really hard
 
 that doesn't count
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--- #75 fediverse/4672 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics!        │
 └──────────────────────┘


 I miss video games
 
 cries from self-inflicted sacrifices
 
 but you're worth it
 
 imma overthrow fascism, dismantle oppression and power, and liberate those in
 chains, just so I can play games again
 
 yeah I mean, uh, whatever gets you outta bed
 
 "at least you have a bed. why are you complaining?"
 
 maybe it's the only thing I'm good at. I wonder if anyone would hire me to be
 an analyst or something? Maybe a designer?
 
 bro you're asking for a job on the eve of the revolution, what's your deal
 
 okay so this might be news to ya'll but I'm technically a human even though I
 wear a witch hat and sometimes speak in rhyme. And humans tend to think about
 things in the context of their current environment. Currently, if I want to
 pay rent or whatever, I need a job. So...
 
 sounds like a lame excuse for not giving up your possessions and throwing
 yourself to fate's design
 
 I already did that and fate told me to go home and take a bath?? idk what you
 want from me, and no I'm not doing any drugs to find out.
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--- #76 fediverse/5811 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────
 ┌────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────┘


 only some people feel existential [peril/fear] at the concept of a trump
 presidency.
 
 I'm trans, I feel it so hard I considered sedition.
 
 it felt like a reasonable reaction. probably just means I've been calibrated
 to a certain level of revengeance through my knowledge of history and the arts.
 
 I learned so much about systems, I saw the inextricable truth of the merits of
 the design of capitolistic [shared societal conventions, but pronounced
 "conventions"]. I also learned of what it means to wield ideology as a weapon
 for mass power/cultural gains.
 I see now that no matter the merits or faults of any system, power accretes in
 the unworthy. They say this is because others they work with just don't want
 to deal with them anymore. This isn't always true, in-fact with stronger bonds
 the relationship is more secure [also true, but I said it earlier in the
 sentence].
 
 jeez, interrupt much?
 
 anyway, as I was saying, [wasting characters]
 okIlikewritngmastodonpostsitsagame2aimforzerocharactersrem
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--- #77 fediverse/4031 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
 if you want to "not think about a purple elephant", the first step is to
 imagine yourself slaying it
 
 ... okay how about cthulu - if you don't want to imagine cthulu nomming on our
 gravity well, then picture yourself wielding a bright burning blade of fire
 and vengeance and pay special attention to the way that you cauterize each
 tentacle as you slice them one by one at first, and then in a massive flurry
 at best, ultimately leading to the incomparable brightness that radiates out
 from your shining blade of the sky, which blinds the poor beast who can't see
 you as you approach, piercing the skull and then going home for some toast
 
 if you can get good at that, then you can wield magic
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--- #78 fediverse/5897 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
 ┌──────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: political-violence-mentioned │
 └──────────────────────────────────┘


 the reason the right is hurt that you'd celebrate charlie's death is because
 they hired an actor to perform him to one side and he does his natural self to
 the other. maybe he was a really big cutie, nobody can tell, because it's
 pretty much like hand-waving on narkina 12.
 
 it's okay to hate the version you've been shown
 
 fuck that kind of cowardly assault
 
 propaganda? and at this hour?
 
 she's made out of midnight, she's suffused in the stuff. it permeates her form
 elementally, because she's a witch, tee hee.
 
 why would magic work if it wasn't a performance? there always is a source from
 where it must flow.
 
 == jeez I just got mind controlled, wacky ==
 
 *she's **essential* izing**. usually that means she's been playing dominions.
 
 my family and I always used to fight. we got so good at navigating it. like,
 storms, that the earth called, that we had to sail through to maintain our
 relation orbits.
 
 == stack overflow =======================================================
== stack overflow ==  I have no idea why people don't write office software for anbernics. it's a... small handheld console that runs linux. well, some of them run android, but they're not as good.
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--- #79 notes/what-are-breakups-for ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 -
 
 listen... if you break up with a friend, OF COURSE you should cry.
 
 OF COURSE you'll be sad.
 
 it's okay.
 
 it's natural. it's human.
 
 don't feel sad about the pain. feel the pain.
 
 brb getting smashed
 
 (okay but please put some clothes on)
 
 -.- fine
 
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 -
 
 I can't fucking relax
 
 the only thing I can think of is defeating fascism
 
 this fucking sucks
 
 I just want to cry about my boyfriend of what, 6 years??
 
 jeez
 
 like.... yeah I'm flawed
 
 *of course* I'm flawed
 
 I'm a human being
 
 humans are imperfect
 
 ... ugh
 
 er, sorry, "bleurg"
 
 I'm going to eat a burrito
 
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 -
 
 alright ate an edible. 20mg. had 2 beers. that's enough for me.
 
 see ya soon. I swear to you, I will be there tomorrow. and every day
 henceforth.
 
 ... unless I'm taking a day off, like yesterday, which TBH was probably not
     ideal.
 
 I swear I'll be better.
 
 there are no false starts, only probing strikes.
 
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 -
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--- #80 fediverse/2518 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 it's good to be ethical,
 it's good to be kind,
 
 but there will always be assholes,
 and sometimes you're not having a good time
 
 it's okay
 it's fine
 
 assholes deserve life
 times deserve others to be kind
 
 life is not always interesting
 and that's often by design
 
 the moments of clarity,
 the moments of heart,
 
 these are what define you
 and display your own spark.
 
 trust in yourself.
 be kind to one another.
 
 you are braver than you know,
 and always a bit wiser.
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--- #81 fediverse/5955 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
 "she wanted to start a revolution"
 
 "that's it, she's out of our hair"
 
 "ahhhhhh I'm broken" there there it's okay dear, nothing has been harmed.
 you're safe, here in thine sanctum, it's alright. remember at night, focus on
 the now, there's always a rest point before a boss.
 
 well, this sucks. I wish I could print my book just in-case my computer goes
 down. emp style.
 
 I have this neat transcript of some cool things I've ben writing down. it's on
 my website and I canned it words. I don't think anyone's ever clicked on it
 because, like, who'd want to look at a bunch of words? anyway I bet I could
 print it and give it to someone who might know you and if you recognize it
 then you know it's about you.
 
 "whew that was weird never fear regular old girl is here, hey look at me I'm
 normal"
 
 oh no she's a book now, this sucks
 
 "wow I've never read her from the beginning"
 
 what a cursed artifact indeed
 
 scary
 
 carefully
 
 absent-minding-deliverance is probably a better title
 
 marshals and marshals of time. ~~
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--- #82 messages/320 ---
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 I wear diapers. I fucking hate diapers.
 
 I go in cycles with it. Waves, if you will. Sometimes I'll say "screw this I'm
 sick of them for one of many reasons I'm going to put in the effort and do all
 the kegels and just fucking handle it" and like, that sorta works. At least,
 most of the time.
 
 The thing about diapers is that while yes, you only need to think about your
 bodily functions like, twice a day, when you do it's more acute. It takes like
 10 minutes to change, it generates trash that you have to throw away, it's
 literally pissing on cash made out of plastic fossil fuels, it smells, it's
 loud (fuck the noise) and its a pain in the ass when you get diaper rash. Ugh
 I hate it.
 
 So, sometimes I say "fuck it" and I go without. And it works most of the time.
 But eventually after getting piss on the carpet one too many times, after
 throwing away your favorite underwear AGAIN, after trying your best to face
 away from people so they don't see the wet spot on your butt... Eventually you
 think "hey maybe diapers aren't that bad" and the cycle repeats.
 
 And look, I know I'm traumatized. I've been dealing with my own shit since I
 was a kid. But, like, therapy won't help me get to the toilet. A doctor's not
 going to be able to fix my brain deciding "hey I want to piss myself right now
 for no fucking reason at all", and yeah my muscles aren't great so sure I can
 exercise them or whatever.
 
 But there have been times in my life when I've had a pelvic floor as strong as
 steel, and it didn't fucking help. Because my brain is stupid.
 
 I can feel it happening (most of the time, sometimes it surprises me like "oh
 weird I can't remember peeing my pants") and I usually have at least enough
 notice to clamp down (if I'm quick) but, like, I am constantly stressed out
 about it. I'm constantly on guard, waiting for it to happen. It's fucking
 exhausting.
 
 God forbid I have a public accident. Those are the fucking worst. And though I
 try my hardest, a year doesn't go by when I don't have at least one. If I'm
 diapered (as I fucking should be, tbh) then I can handle it. If not, then I'm
 fucked and I'm mentally a wreck for the rest of the day. Sorry @ everyone
 who's smelled me throughout my whole life.
 
 I don't think it's a physical issue, I was (briefly) checked out as a kid and
 they didn't find anything wrong. I think they thought I was faking because I
 couldn't manage to pee in a cup. Whatever.
 
 And I've read basically everything on the Internet about this. Apparently 40%
 of cases (across all age groups) are idiopathic, meaning there's no known
 cause. I wonder what percentage is because people are like, into it sexually?
 
 I admit I look at that kind of porn. It makes me feel corroded inside. I think
 I do it to relive my trauma in some fucked up way, like "oh wouldn't it be
 nice if a witch cursed me and now I pee my pants" instead of the harsher
 reality where its like "no you're just like this" which, sucks, not gonna lie.
 
 It's kinda made me asexual, I think, because I don't want anyone to be around
 it. I don't want anyone to think about it, I don't want it to be real, it's
 just. Fucked. I guess. Whatever.
 
 Did I mention how much I hate how loud it is to change? It fills me with dread
 whenever that time comes around. I often put it off as long as I can because I
 just... Don't want to think about it. And then it overflows and leaks and its
 even worse because now I have to wash my pants. Or, like, not, and just let
 them dry, because I'm a disgusting human being who has no right to a clean and
 decent life. Fuck me I should live in a bog, with all the bugs and the toads
 and other various gross things.
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--- #83 fediverse/2050 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────┐
 @user-1074                                                                       │
 I think a lot of liberals feel that way. How does the conservative half of the   │
 equally respectable binary spectrum feel about the situation?                    │
 ... Oh? what's that? you can't hear the moderate conservative spectrum of the    │
 equation? Kinda makes me think that perhaps that's by design                     │
 ... or maybe not, perhaps by... evolution, rather than design. Like, two         │
 corporations don't have to collaborate in order to invent price fixing. And      │
 two lawyers could wink from across the aisle and nobody would know. Perhaps a    │
 doctor could just "make something up" so that their patient would leave, and     │
 maybe a teacher would non-stop cry about her ex.                                 │
 ... we're imperfect beings, which is fine. But mistakes have real consequences   │
 on other people's story, and if we have a different experience we should be      │
 learned and considered. In order to identify the positives and valuable          │
 impacts of your particular imperfections.                                        │
 ... I think about male and female, and I think of both halves of our             │
 civilization. Similar relationshi                                                │
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--- #84 fediverse/4185 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
 so weird how "you" in your words becomes "whichever social media platform
 you're currently typing into" when you post a lot (like, all the time)
 
 it's like this semi-para-social relationship thing. is there a different kind
 of "para" that means, like... in relation to the means of communication rather
 than the person on the other end?
 
 maybe like... "meta", meaning discussing the topic of discussing the topic. In
 this case of course it'd be... discussing the medium upon which the discussion
 is taking place.
 
 but it's not really about the medium, is it? It's anthropomorphizing the
 medium, giving it a face, or at least a persona of some kind, and speaking
 directly to it.
 
 (of course, "it" means "all the people who follow you and who are cursed to
 wander upon you in the local feed)
 
 so... athro-meta-socializing mastodon means that you toot about whatever, but
 directed toward the entity that you know and are talking to: "mastodon", which
 to you is something completely different than it is to everyone else. huh~
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--- #85 messages/540 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────
 Your mouth *likes* to eat 
 
 Your belly *likes* to fill 
 
 Your muscles *enjoy* exercise (and stretches!)
 
 Your mind *likes* to think.
 
 Why is it gross to think of your colon enjoying to poop? Does it prefer beans,
 because they keep things moving?
 
 Why is it gross to think of your under-arms sweating? Does it prefer not to
 smell, or does it wish there were people that liked it without deodorant?
 
 Do your toes think of other people as you walk toward them? Do your fingers
 feel the face of your lover as you pull them close? Or is that for the brain,
 the thoughts processing of all things mundane, the stuff which feels somehow
 more "you" than the rest of you.
 
 How absurd. You are you. You enjoy icecream, you enjoy the beach. You enjoy
 the stars, and you enjoy the laughter around you. There is nothing that
 separates you from you, for you are your only champion.
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--- #86 fediverse/1950 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
 I honestly don't care if someone deadnames me, or calls me the wrong pronouns,
 or forgets to put me in the girl section, or asks me to sing baritone
 
 like... I don't give a shit, why are you so worried about all this vapid
 nonsense like yeah I get it, being disrespected sucks but like... why do you
 want the kind of respect that is a forced platitude
 
 we could all do with being a bit more radical, it's not a race and everyone's
 roles are important. Be yourself, and follow people you want to be like.
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--- #87 fediverse/549 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: pol-socialism    │
 └──────────────────────┘


 ngl I kinda want to see what conservatives would riot over in a socialist
 system. Like "oh no we have healthcare! that sucks, so I'm going to burn down
 a police station" like bro what your basic needs are met and you're encouraged
 and enabled to pursue your passions and personal desires, are you still hung
 up on that old capitalist stuff? get a life my guy that's soOoOoOo 21st
 century of you
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--- #88 notes/water-to-wine ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
 "is this a water party, or a wine party?"
 
 "depends on if jesus is going..."
 
 "okay I'm in, that guys so cool"
 
 "yeah totally like any party with him just... feels like a great time"
 
 "what a swell guy"
 
 "really turns the "water to wine" y'know what I mean"
 
 "yeah totes like what a guy"
 
 "absolute unit"
 
 "that guy can just do anything right"
 
 "like whoa, he's so strong he could pick up a barn"
 
 "yeah and like so handy and skillful, what a neat guy"
 
 "oh and I heard he's really good with kids and animals, that sounds neat"
 
 "yeah sounds like someone I'd surely like to meet"
 
 "we should hang out with this guy more often"
 
 "he seems pretty chill"
 
 "well. not really. He's pretty expressive. Not very low key."
 
 "true I'm just so burnt out from capitalism that-"
 
 "-yeah dude I know."
 
 "... fuck what are we gonna do about it"
 
 "I dunno man, just... go along with it I guess"
 
 "okay so uhhhh idk what that means"
 
 "just be cool and play along"
 
 "... what"
 
 "..."
 
 ...
 
 .
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--- #89 fediverse/5741 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────
 ┌────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cursing-mentioned-spirituality-gestured-at │
 └────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 So I was playing Dominions 6 the other day for laughs while working on my mod
 nation:
 
 https://ritz-menardi.neocities.org/dominions/elentalus/elentalus
 
 good news, new version coming soon probably??
 
 bad news - I was playing as Arcoscephale, the ancient greek nation, well, one
 of them anyway, and my pretender god looked like this. Yes, those names are
 randomly generated.
 
 fuck.
 
 oops, cursing mentioned.
 
 "I thought you were cassandora and pandasandra?"
 
 yeah well I'm more of a vessel I guess? me, the physical form, is a witch. I
 mean, my hat pierces reality or whatever! Plus I got a vampiric blade, that's
 kinda cool.
 
 But also I'm a system and I got other things besides inside.
 
 "girl you're so confusing"
 
 look if it wasn't artistic the gods wouldn't want anything to do with it.
 They're just... like that I guess.
 
 "So, fortifier because she tells people to bolster their strength, confuser of
 the way because she doesn't get the tao, and mistress of dirt because she
 poops your pants and, fuck, makes dirt?"
níké featherflame citrine, goddess of Arcoscephale, has two points in air magic because she's good at singing, 6 points of earth magic because computers are rocks and she's good at computer programming, and 4 points of astral magic because she does a lot of drugs and thinks about different dimensions and stuff.  1x precision. 2x reinvigoration. far caster.  5 points of dominion, one point of laziness, and 1 point of extra food growth. term limits 2026 a picture of a dominions6 game. neekay, the fortifier, she who confuses the way, mistress of dirt.
                                                           ─────────┐
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--- #90 fediverse/4245 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: conspiracies-gestured-at │
 └──────────────────────────────┘


 oh, uh, here's some silliness:
 
 "that feeling when your tinnitus suddenly kicks in and you realize that
 they're using 5g to alter your brain waves by bombarding your skull with just
 the right kind of electro-magnetic waveform that coalesces into a particular
 "thought" (which they definitely know because everyone knows all our brains
 are built the same) which makes you hungry or horny or whatever"
 
 something something source:
 
 https://www.jezzamon.com/fourier/index.html
 
 (this is just fun to play with)
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--- #91 fediverse/4654 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────
 ┌────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cannabis-and-other-drugs-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────────────────────┘


 gonna quit drugs for a bit, gotta recover from a recent haste spell that I
 cast. Probably a bit earlier than intended I should add. Next time I'll
 definitely say "keep this in your back pocket" instead of "hey here's a haste
 spell for no reason at all" like what the heck were you even thinking, powers
 that be?? [that guide me??]
 
 who has power over you? If someone bears responsibility but not fault for a
 mental illness, then surely those who are set to a task bear responsibility
 for it's completion if not for it's ideation. Ah, who can say, maybe me from a
 year ago might have some thoughts but I sorta ground them into the dirt until
 I couldn't walk.
 
 [girl what are you even talking about go to sleep] yeah yeah okay
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--- #92 fediverse/5250 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: AH               │
 └──────────────────────┘


 the government is the platform the [companies/countries] do stand upon. they
 owe all to their platform. it is vital for their existence. therefore any
 orthogonally created [unit/union] or organization would work to maintain it
 too. we [can't/can] solve communism, which is the best system for the future
 because everyone gets whatever they want. we just... built enough factories.
 and then, since our culture burned out in a FLASHBANG, unfortunately the rest
 of it was lost.
 
 that future totally sucked. but good news is we preserved what we had of the
 present, and here let's just revive them in some distant and far-off day.
 
 "transgender artifacts" future can suck my ass
 
 wow weird way to say they're terrible
 
 but they still happen from time-to-time.
 
 cataclysms, vanishings, mass-die-offs and cataclysmic reprisals, all
 throughout time up to the athropocene.
 
 whoa neat new angle, sure hope it doesn't lead the conversation off of the
 present...
 
 "disappears into the horizon as one travels towards the sunset"
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--- #93 fediverse/5972 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
 nobody wants to read a whole bible. that sucks. what if these cool guys read
 it to us. omg he's so hot.
 
 oh, right. well... make them old and stuffy? not a chance, they're boring.
 (rude)
 
 I like old people actually, I want to spend as much time with them that I can
 
 I just... never initiate reactions. I'm too stealthy, it's just how I do.
 
 you ask me how I'm a witch? I ask why aren't you. magic is cool, I'm so hyped
 for the future when every computer everywhere is working for you.
 
 crash boom huh what was that? the economy? what do you mean the economy?
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--- #94 fediverse/967 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────┐
 the reason I say that is because if you block someone, they can continue to      │
 alter the dynamic of the environment you're in even if you don't personally      │
 see them.                                                                        │
 this is fine if you want to maximize ad views, but on the fediverse nobody       │
 cares about buying products.                                                     │
 this is fine if you want to maximize engagement, because new people (who         │
 havent yet gotten upset with the person) will engage and fight them. As they     │
 should. But eventually, if the person's a troll or a goon, they'll get tired     │
 of it and block them too. Thus the goon never has to face more than a few at a   │
 time, especially if there's quite a few trolls on board with their target.       │
 this is fine if you don't mind the water slowly acidifying, like the fish who    │
 have no choice because they don't know how to grow legs and walk like real       │
 animals (what a bunch of scrubs)                                                 │
 some people don't want to invest time in figuring out where to go next. How      │
 many people will hear of Mastodon when Twitter is fully vacated of cool people?  │
 Tell your friends IRL about us                                                   │
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--- #95 fediverse/5280 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────┐
 I'm an anarcho monarchist, which is something I just made up.                    │
 if I gather 300 people to my cause, why shouldn't they call me queen?            │
 oh, are you concerned that I'll wrest power from the government? ha, what a      │
 trifling notion. I don't care about the government. I tried to care, but         │
 nobody liked my ideas. they required too much computing infrastructure to        │
 feasibly test, and that made people dubious. but I tell ya, it would have        │
 worked. The thing is... governance, economics, these are not the tools of        │
 power. they are a shifting and changing beast that mirrors the human instinct,   │
 if only because the government is of the people and by the people and for the    │
 people etcetera.                                                                 │
 power is it's own thing. you can use to to power devices, or power the usage     │
 of those devices. I, for example, really like World of Warcraft which's a        │
 really neat way to chat because none of the chat logs are stored and monitored   │
 because I'm hosting and I'm not storing and monitoring.                          │
 what's that? official servers? I dunno, I use azerothcore                        │
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--- #96 fediverse/3444 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────
 ┌─────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-mentioned-police-mentioned │
 └─────────────────────────────────────────┘


 I'm too empathetic to watch them lose this badly. when I watch movies with
 cringe humor I have to leave the room whenever something bad happens to the
 characters. I get the same feeling when I read about politics these days.
 
 side note, but has anyone else gotten emails about "hiring plain-clothes
 police officers in Washington D.C, will offer relocation assistance and pay
 minimum 72k per year"? can't help but wonder if they're afraid of a bunch of
 sore losers storming the capital with guns.
 
 it's not like there's a precedent for that or anything.
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--- #97 messages/296 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────
 The trick is, if you *think* you're schizophrenic, then you will be. If you
 *think* you're telepathic, then you will be.
 
 There are no grand narratives. Just live your life as you will and be content
 with what you build for yourself.
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--- #98 fediverse/3652 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: lewd-nsfw        │
 └──────────────────────┘


 my favorite position is doggy style because of course I want to be mounted
 like that drive you keep forgetting to add to your fstab
 
 you're supposed to gesture at "the bond between a man and his horse" or
 something to that effect
 
 men shouldn't fuck horses just saying
 
 first of all the horse would fucking kick them in the balls or break their
 knees
 
 second they're way too tall so you'd have to find a stool and that's just like
 a lot of effort
 
 third like... no thank you please, get out of my head stupid thoughts I want
 to think about being degraded and horses are too noble for degradation
 
 what the fuck are you even talking about
 
 ... yeah. sometimes it do be like that tho...
 
 "I came here for kink and horny but I left with confusion"
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--- #99 notes/four-dimensional-spaces ---
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 you'd still perceive higher dimensions in 3 dimensions - unless you can only
 see
 things that are coming directly toward you. 
 
 magic only happens when your other half is in a situation and needs to turn
 your
 narrative into theirs so that you can collectively engage with a shared inter-
 operationality.
 
 your dark side is just a massive bitch
 
 hey how about we put the game designers in charge of running the government
 
 just saying they build human-oriented systems all the time
 
 "how do we get the player to do this or that"
 
 "everyone keeps picking the same card so we gotta make them more different"
 
 "how much gold persists in the virtual economy, how much resources are produced
  and traded by players? where does it all go, do they have enough at level 30
  to
  afford weapons and armor? I wonder what happens if we swap prices on A and
  B.."
 
 it's literally their job
 
 actors, meanwhile, know how to interpret the emotions of another. Like...
 you're
 up on stage, thinking out what to do next IN REAL TIME, as your partner is
 trying to throw you curveballs. AUDIENCES LAUGH AT CURVEBALLS that's the whole
 point of improv comedy - to be surprised in a state of joy. It's great! It's
 fun! It's practicable like a sport! Yet nobody comes. To the shows, where it's
 performed, like a hospital where you perform surgery or a pizza place with no
 walls so you can see the pizzas being cooked. It's just part of what they do,
 but that's not why they do it. Sure, some want to be seen, it's not a BAD
 feeling once you're used to it. But, like a sauna or jacuzzi, sometimes you've
 just had enough of the hot. Like, the sun peering through a magnifying glass as
 a creature roasts alive. yikes.
 
 ............. anyway being quickly versatile and adaptable is important when
               you're taking turns in unpredictable scenarios. You can react to
               your opponent, and keep time with the rhythms of the moment, to
               deliver your wittiest lines. It's fun! It's a game! But it's also
               a place to be entertained. and like a gym, it's sometimes just
               fun
               to watch people exercise. like, damn, you got a good body. Wow,
               nice flex, yeah sure I'll put that one away. Cool pals helping
               each other out, and showing off all of their efforts. Neat!
 
 ... anyway .. being emotionally vulnerable gives your opponent a chance to
               continue. When nothing's going on, your moves barely make an
               value
               (of comedy) (for the moment, so the crowd's not just sitting
               there
               staring at you like ... and then - and then ummmm nevermind lemme
               sit down (usually someone else picks up on it before then and
               jumps up to save you, but EVERY actor has felt that moment where
               nothing goes well and the audience just is totally not into it.
 
               it's the worst.
 
               anyway, they try their darndest to AVOID that, because like...
               duh
               it sucks, why would you want that. Much cooler I think to have a
               good time, and chill out and listen to your friends talk. Like,
               they can show you an argument they had earlier, or maybe work
               through an idea with input from another. like, debate club, but
               for whatever kind of respective [retroactive, recreation,
               relearning, maybe others] you desired in that moment. ideally,
               something that someone could take the arguments of the other side
               and present them, regardless of whether they believed them or
               not.
 
               like, lawyers arguing for a client.
 
               in these stochastic seminars, you could think about and study for
               future societies. how would you like to conduce? [-]
 
               every time you see a face in motion, that's another time that's
               seen from their place. we are all present in each other's lives,
               in terms of the spaces we choose to fill.
 
               well, that's a tough thought, but don't worry about it. faces
               are just waves on the winds of light.
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--- #100 notes/everything-is-conscious ---
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 it's important for everything to be conscious. It's the core framework of the
 religion. If everything is conscious, then we have a duty to the shared
 responsibility of maintaining existence. Nobody wants to exist as a rock, that
 would just suck. Being alive, in *any* form is a wonderous experience! To be
 alive is to experience change, growth, and time in general. Most matter just
 exists, and it obeys the whims of circumstance. But within it is a beautiful
 thing - an experience.
 
 Respecting existence is the only true facet of our lives that we all agree on.
 We should not waste god's beautiful and bountiful earth, to do so is obscene.
 We must also take care not to diminish our own experience - sacrifice is
 kindness, when given consensually. When it is coerced, it becomes a form of
 property. We don't need haste, we just need to follow at a pace, that fits our
 general confusion. We need everyone to figure it out and integrate it into our
 perspective of our existence, or else we're going to burn out. The singularity
 approaches, and we need to be ready for what we want our future to look like.
 
 There should be a plan. Research can increase or decrease in speed, but once we
 cross a certain threshold escape velocity is passed. That threshold was
 hundreds
 of years ago. We've been on escape velocity for a while now, and every day we
 get faster.
 
 Creating synthetic intelligence will change EVERYTHING. It'll change the very
 nature of existence. And we can stave it off for a time, but knowledge seldom
 gets repeated. This is by design - we are meant to thrive.
 
 Is any seed cast from a tree given any other mission but hope? For what, you
 may
 ask, and to this I would pass, if not for the striking visions I had. Know why
 rhyming is believed? Because it ropes your attention in. It says "Follow me on
 this blessed path, let's learn all we can and be 
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 the message cuts out there. The tone at the end was... aspirational.
 
 Great visions do I have, it's as real to me as anything else. They are stronger
 when I do cannabis, and I think I'm beginning to realize what the shape of the
 universe looks like.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
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--- #101 fediverse/677 ---
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 @user-78 
 
 I read about half of this:
 
 https://jo.wtf/6d.html
 
 before I was consumed by the intense urge to prop myself up on a pillow and
 listen to you rant at the ceiling at 4am about gravity or the cosmos or
 whatever you were thinking about prior to speaking your heart
 
 and then I'd write it down, and cherish every moment of it as I shared it with
 my peers and we tried to analyze just what you meant
 
 [sorry for being gay on your timeline]
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--- #102 messages/665 ---
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 ad-hoc economic systems with automated judgment given by an infinite amount of
 LLMs.
 
 Every judgement applies a bonus / malus to the "value" of commodities
 
 it's just a statistical weighting system, so of course you can build it into
 it's training data. Just... it has a smaller weight due to it's newer
 emergence. It grows naturally, which is quite an achievement on it's own!
 
 and the resolution of human decided court-cases and applied economically.
 
 say your nation traffics in handshakes. You could make a lot of now-knowns!
 there's no arguments to be made when your computer-oriented interactions cost
 money to keep around.
 
 we live in the modern century. WHY WOULD WE EVER NEED TO FIGHT AGAIN?
 Literally just... don't give them any attention, and you won't interact with
 them. Obviously.
 
 I wish Contrapoints was still alive.
 
 she doesn't even have to make new videos, just, dress up as herself, all of
 the costumes and personas she can think of. Then, have like 20 people who do
 the same thing, and boom suddenly you got a hydra to their expected snake that
 they can just cut the head off of.
 
 you know, like a fashion outlet, someone who produces exactly a certain type
 of style.
 
 seriously I bet a million people would do that if you just... sold outfits
 based on what your favorite youtuber does wear.
 
 omg why would they watch that kind of content if not for the *aesthetics*
 
 oh? there's philosophy there? soemthing to think about in your time doing
 things that require mechanical actions like eating and drinking and sleeping
 and fighting and [redacted]
 
 ew gross diapers? oh nevermind, I'm not into that kind of thing.
 
 I wonder if anyone's made a video game that just presents a particular
 philosopher's ideals?
 
 seriously just, consider yourself a glorified powerpoint, but to get to the
 next "idea" you had to interact with the mechanics.
 
 some people would like the "arcade" style better, where you play one random
 game, then another, then another, with short matches and un-complicated
 mechanics. Easy to pick up and go.
 
 same for like, Unreal Tournament or Mario Kart or Mortal Kombat or Super Mario
 Bros.
 
 compared to the at-home "story" style missions, where you do something
 platforming or area-based-combat like Dark Souls or World of Warcraft
 
 seriously I think if Dark Souls "colored" where the boss was going to swing to
 you'd find yourself just playing World of Warcraft (at least, the dungeons and
 {sword in the stone})
 
 == so ==
 
 humans don't understand what it means to be wild
 
 they think it's a combinations of... tricks? that they've learned? this
 thinking thing like intelligence. [osiris]
 
 to a cat, living their life, it often feels like human interactions is like...
 bouncing off of each other? in time, not space.
 
 like... most of a cat's lfe is just, spent, like a statue watching over a glen.
 
 you'd kinda just... watch as things approached dawn by dawn? Like "whoa hey
 this tree is enchanted" to "oh my gosh look at this stork" is one of the great
 tragedies of modernized thinking...
 
 ... sorry, I got a little lost there. anyway as I was saying, sometimes you
 can tell someone is a "good friend" if they are willing to tell you secrets.
 Things that... don't have to matter, but none-the-less are personal to your
 form.
 
 {something only I know is true} <--- that's a secret (things that happened
 to you) <------ that's lived experience. The thing about secrets, is
 sometimes insight is opaque. It's a single flashpoint of data that shows you
 an update of it's form. (consciousness).
 
 == so ==
 
 thanksgiving recipe idea:
 
 can of tomatoes
 can of peas
 half a stick of butter,
 italian herbs,
 a cast iron pan (if you have one)
 and like 40 minutes over medium heat
 (medium can vary to taste)
 
 if you're a carnivore you can eat meat too, like bacon a lot of people like.
 could add it to beans, maybe with hamburger instead. plus a little ketchup and
 you have a pretty good bean stew.
 
 vitals, for the organs, vegetables, for the minerals and vitamins from the
 fruits.
 
 makes sense to organize a diet according to your ideal body type, doesn't it?
 
 just requires a bit of comprehension. like... whoa you can WRITE 
 
 == so ==
 
 what if we built a massive rail that spaceships could launch off from? not a
 tether, but a sail.
 
 we could BUILD a discworld. all we'd lose is our fable.
 
 == so ==
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--- #103 fediverse/3738 ---
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 "girl why are you so negative"
 
 uh, because I had been unmedicated for a long time and now that I am I can
 probably be more positive. Though I do want to switch medications, this one
 makes me feel like a muggle.
 
 "no I said why are you so naked"
 
 oh, because it's hot as heck!!
 
 plus, I don't really care for the opinions of people who have nothing better
 to do than peek at cute 30 year old witches skimping around their own house.
 like... okay I rent an apartment, but my blinds are closed, and even if they
 weren't you'd need binoculars to see into my apartment unless I'm like, right
 up against the window, which... doesn't happen. Or if it's at night with the
 lights on inside and not out, but I'm aware of that and I plan around it. I'm
 not a... um, what's the opposite of voyeur?
 
 "extortionist"
 
 no that's when someone is really flexible. ah whatever. I got 162 characters
 remaining but I think that's okay every once in a while, right? I mean it's
 not like I have to use them all because of some divine mandate or
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--- #104 notes/notes-not-a-folder ---
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 may 16th 2022
 
 if people are invested in a 401k they are invested in the future of the stocks
 they own. if you want to see who benefits from the actions of a company, look
 at which corporations their employees 401ks are invested in. It's a layer of
 protection for these companies.
 
 bitcoin is a bit like "the laundromat" on netflix
 
 the faster your life feels the longer term you make plans. and the lack of
 effort spent on short term plans causes them to be defeated by other plans
 
 What you perceive as others is nothing like what they perceive as themselves.
 It's always different, and seeing and internalizing those is what it means to
 see someone. If you only project, you'll get a viewpoint tampered by your
 intentions - that's why it's important to have good first impressions - it
 defines the intent of all of that person's interactions with you. It's like a
 line expanding out from a single point. Like a loading bar, expanding from the 
 left side of the screen to the right. And seeing the other person's idea of
 what they believe themselves to be. That's what true empathy is. What do you
 think you look like in other people's mind? I believe it's born from a series
 of tags that are interpreted and a character is generated. Earth is the biggest
 and most complicated character generator ever - it's like 4D D&D - it even
 generates a whole backstory! Or full story? Why stop anywhere! Just keep
 generating it every time the player makes an action. Oh oh and make it like
 3D so you could actually live it - extreme full dive VR style. It just wouldn't
 be fun if you remembered how complicated 4d life was. Sometimes it's just good
 to have some junk food, you know? To regenerate that most precious of materials
 - spirit. You have to have passion, faith, belief, and strong positive feelings
 in order to be fully realized and at your most human. Essentially... Be
 yourself - (TO THE MAX!!!) - and empathize with others, and never forget the
 things you hold most dear. Be strong in your convictions, hold to your heart,
 and dedicate yourself to a lifetime in the service of others.
 
 Faith - to have faith in something is to trust that it will succeed. To know
         there's no matter they can't match - to give faith is to empower
         another. By dedicating yourself to a cause, you are assigning the
         target of your belief - such is what religion is designed for.
 
 Belief - Acceptance of truth - to accept goodness as truth is to grant it the
          power to perform as expected. When goodness and truth are
          equivicalized, they imply one another. A truth can influence the world
          around it's locus point, because what we imagine to occur is the 
          ripples of what has passed through. A life is an 
 
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
 the universe is like the slow burning of a four dimensional wick. Imagine it
 like a forest of solid silicon - like packing material made of webs. And think
 of all the parts of the universe that are burning. Isn't it strange that life
 is just starting to bloom? Why wouldn't we be the first, or at least near the
 beginning! There's so much to this experience, and it's all burning down.
 The endless machines of imagination are crumbling under the heat of a million
 billion burning stars. Black holes are just towers that never ignited - perhaps
 we sit on the edge of spacetime - equal above, and equal below. But we've been
 laying on our backs - we don't know what's backwards in time. Like laying in a
 lazy river, or the layer of separation between oil and water.
 
 Remember the hourglasses of oil and water? Or water and air... The edge of the
 "bubble" that separates those two mediums is like the thin wall between two
 or more concepts. Each human is a concept, and we stick together like matter
 in a planet. Pushed to great pressures, it can sometimes fuse two experiences
 together! Like fusion in a star, except for souls and creative minds instead of
 denser matter.
 
 What is the soul of a man? It is the combination of two sides of the membrane -
 two minds, two perspectives. That is a brain - the intersection of two minds.
 
 So... Work together, ya dinguses.
 
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
 All minds are in constant contact with one another. And those that can see
 through the veil (membrane) are able to discern the true thoughts of others. So
 the number of people who are close to you is the number and strength of your
 connections for all time. So... Form relationships and place meaning in them.
 That is what will define your interactions for all time, at every time. It's
 okay to be flawed. If you weren't, it'd be the end for you. But luckily you
 have no real power, and so you are left in a state of disrepair - no power to
 push yourself forward. And in return, you are the purest. Keep that flame
 burning, and share it when you can.
 
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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--- #105 fediverse/2286 ---
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 │ CW: uspol-food-mentioned │
 └──────────────────────────┘


 ... dangit, these sandwiches are getting kinda gross. Guess I'm gonna have to
 eat them myself, which, uh... idk what I expected xD
 
 sometimes you just have all this energy, right? and you don't know what to do
 with it, so... sandwiches. And hey, sandwiches are cool, they're a pretty neat
 anti-hunger tool! but uhhhh idk if I really want to eat six whole sandwiches
 myself. I'm gonna do it though hehe wish me luck [ding] ah nuts my rice and
 beans are done, hang on lemme eat those first
 
 [passes out from exhaustion]
 
 exhaustion can be cured with a nap
 
 exertion can be cured with water and a few rest days
 
 trauma can be allayed for at least a few days with soul food and compassion.
 maybe laughter too, depending on the mood.
 
 fear can be bolstered with a smile, a wink, and a courageous act,
 
 and loss is just change you didn't consent to.
 
 they won't consent too, so let's give them some change to tolerate.
 
 [internally salivating over all the piles of weaponry that I envision them
 surrendering]
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--- #106 fediverse/4656 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐                                                         │
 │ CW: psycherwaul      │                                                         │
 └──────────────────────┘                                                         │
 everyone's all like "what is all this" and gestures at the everything like       │
 "what are we even doing here" as if the benefits of civilization are not self    │
 evident and they ask "what even is the point" as if the struggle for warmth in   │
 a cold world or cold in a warm world is not enough                               │
 I guess we're all a little ennuid.                                               │
 if your goal is to liberate all those enslaved, and part of that is to free      │
 those who are locked in prisons of metal and stone, then surely you'd wish to    │
 free the djinni, correct? but, like, if you schrodingers cat a nuclear           │
 armageddon (except, magic themed because you're a witch I guess) then you        │
 absolutely should bear the guilt and shame of flipping a coin on the life of     │
 your world.                                                                      │
 who the fuck falls for psyops in this day and age, surely not I, surely I can    │
 resist hypnosis, surely I who trust freely and absolutely would be the perfect   │
 one to manipulate.                                                               │
 which is, like, how 90% of magic works I've heard. Finding someone to usher      │
 around who believes in butterfly souls or whatever.                              │
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--- #107 fediverse/4028 ---
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 I would be surprised if the universe didn't look like the shape of a cabbage
 
 in the wake of the collision of an unstoppable force and an immovable object,
 each one single atom wide
 
 in a sense... the origin
 
 god
 
 the number 42
 
 it all MAKES SENSE WAKE UP SHEEPLE xD xD how silly, go to bed you weirdo
 
 what would a universe even be shaped like [implied lmao unpresent for reasons
 unknown]
 
 like, the universe is all of space and everything, right?
 
 and everything that's not us is out in space.
 
 up, that way, toward the skies, way way out there there's nothing but rocks
 and dust. but like... a buttload of rocks and a dumptruck full of gas.
 
 and space has, like, solar systems and galaxies, spirals, right?
 
 ... no, flat discs
 
 I think they're spirals
 
 you're both right
 
 right
 
 ...
 
 anyway it stands to reason right that the rest of everything is also shaped
 like a spiral. and what is a spiral but the tracing of a fractal all along the
 paths we call time?
 
 [ so ]
 
 um, probably nothing, don't think too hard about it
straight down there, all the way to the beginning of time, the angle of perception. Where you can see the arc of all things.  and, what lies beyond...  okay picture this - you're a stick-figure person hanging out on a graph. Up and to the right is infinite nothing, and down and to the left is everything.  what would you see if you looked into infinite nothing?  probably the amalgamation of all of the reflections, like TV static except instead of pixels it's shades of light, ripples of sound, and tremors in spacetime.  [go back to before you pictured a stick-figure]
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--- #108 fediverse/5339 ---
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 @user-1803 
 
 hey I dont disagree that what you're describing is a common outcome, but if it
 works for them then I consider that a success.
 
 I however, am different, I do believe in my heart that I am my own thing, and
 thats as close to enlightenment as I can imagine.
 
 are we not all making things up as we go? every moment of life is new, there
 is nothing that is not unique about every precious moment you experience.
 
 therefore, I do believe that rigid adherence to orthodoxy (like a bible) is
 opposed to our purpose here.
 
 "I think, therefore I am" implies that original thought is our true purpose.
 
 I believe we are here to express our true nature. To learn and apply lessons,
 to teach the young, and to build a strong and stable world built on collective
 kindness and trust.
 
 All knowledge is derived from the insights gained from standing on the
 shoulders of our ancestors.
 
 Humans crave novelty. Resisting that isn't virtuous. If god is made in our
 image, then I do believe that god would crave novelty as well.
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--- #109 fediverse/2654 ---
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 I'm not bitter, you're bitter. >.>
 
 ... okay, take a breath, you're fine. It's hard to handle negative feelings
 when you're alone because other people can't boost you up. We rely on each
 other for emotional stability, but when you're alone you can only feel your
 emotions at the same rate as your thoughts. And your thoughts need to process
 the events you're experiencing, using emotion as an "encoding" for preserving
 the "meaning" of your life's story. Bit by bit you learn new things, while
 living through life, and the lessons you learn from them are generated from
 the cognitive conclusions reached by cognitively interpreting emotional
 reactions to each moment. like "this-or-that thing happened and I feel
 that-or-this way, meaning I should act such-and-such way in the future when
 presented with situations that bear similarity to this current one that's
 ongoing."
 
 ... turn it upside down, right, makes sense mastodon feed. thanks for
 redirecting me in a different direction through your pseudo-randomized input.
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--- #110 fediverse/2347 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: uspol            │
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 I personally think that it's better to act before the liberals have a chance
 to hand power over to the fascists.
 
 when? well, that depends. Are you part of a large and massive organization
 that accomplishes great and beautiful things with incredible efficiency... but
 rather slowly? Then yeah get working. I'm sure you already are.
 
 Are you just a person, like me? Then go do things that don't raise the
 temperature too much, but make you feel more confident and inspire those
 around you.
 
 Like, bricks at cop cars is one way to go, but you're probably gonna get
 arrested. And then you're useless when we need you.
 
 BUT if you meet with your friends and make plans for where to go, what to
 bring, who to know, and what to sing (if you're the musical types) then great!
 Go do that.
 
 If you're reading this and thinking "I'm not gonna do that, I have a plan
 that's so much better" then yeah do that instead. I don't mind. Just... don't
 hurt innocent (ignorant) people, because if you do then you are my foe.
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--- #111 fediverse/5198 ---
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 ┌───────────────────────────────┐                                                │
 │ CW: capitalism-doom-mentioned │                                                │
 └───────────────────────────────┘                                                │
 what if the corporations all unionized and started working together to           │
 understand what "profit" really means in a world where "profit" may or may not   │
 but probably does imply the death of all humanity?                               │
 what if we demanded it?                                                          │
 --                                                                               │
 dear canvassers: don't visit so many different suburbs                           │
 visit the same one, more than once, continuously, so people can get to know      │
 your presence                                                                    │
 they will talk to their friends about it, who live elsewhere.                    │
 thus ensuring it spreads.                                                        │
 knock once a day, eventually they'll know it's you and will simply ignore it.    │
 Don't be rude and knock 4 or 5 times, just once, with several taps so they       │
 know it's someone trying to get ahold of you, and not just some random noise     │
 in the background scenery. then, when they sometimes answer, talk to them        │
 about what you believe in. answer their questions. encourage their questions.    │
 pose dichotomies that are explained by some value or virtue you express to       │
 portray. you can do "good" things in any programming language, just type~~       │
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--- #112 fediverse/3316 ---
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 │ CW: medical-marijuana-mentioned-personal-health-mentioned │
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 Considering the fact that medical care is so expensive, surely that means the
 expertise, labor, materials, and infrastructural capability to address
 people's health and well-being is in tight supply.
 
 meaning, for things I can understand and live with, I should avoid seeking
 help because those resources could be applied toward some cause that can't be
 lived with, or is not understood. If it doesn't cause distress, don't touch it.
 
 "babe you literally piss yourself on accident if you forget to go to the
 bathroom, what's your plan"
 
 oh um how kind of you to ask, uh, it's mostly just to close my ears and hope
 it goes away. like the weird thunder last night haha I'm pretty sure it wasn't
 raining but I might have just been stoned?
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--- #113 fediverse/2276 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: pol              │
 └──────────────────────┘


 A good way to get people talking is to meet with a stranger and share your
 feelings.
 
 Or, if you're scared of strangers, then try talking with a friend.
 
 "something something SUPREME COURT something whatever CRIMINALIZED PEOPLE blah
 blah blah I WON'T STAND FOR IT"
 
 that kind of thing. Make sure you look at your friend for the loud bits, and
 maybe look at someone else nearby when it's your friend's turn to speak.
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--- #114 fediverse/3881 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: mh~              │
 └──────────────────────┘


 wait wait wait, hold up.
 
 you're telling me your purpose in life is to be cool, chill, funny, cute, and
 or friendly to the people around you, and to just relax and enjoy life?
 
 wow that must be real fucking nice. I'm so damn jealous. Damn. Damnit. Fuck
 why am I so orthogonal. What's wrong with me?
 
 ... ah, well, nothing's wrong with me. Turns out what I do is for you, if only
 in spirit. Who are we? nothing! I barely know ya! But I'd do it for you,
 whatever it may be.
 
 ... Look, I don't need my legs, but also, I kinda like them?
 
 ... where was I? Oh yes this is why you don't invite a schizophrenic to a
 party. If you convince them that you're friends, they'll start developing
 parasocial relationships and you'll come to realize that their worlds are too
 vast for their own kind of potential.
 
 which is to say, you can hear me, you can like me, you can do as I say or do,
 but don't trust me, don't place your trust in me, because I am just a person.
 Don't trust people, trust organizations, to do as you expect.
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--- #115 fediverse/4682 ---
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 Ugh. This outfit is sooooo preschool. Oh well, it'll have to do.
 
 "girl it's so cute what are you talking about"
 
 oh, y'know, internalized repression I guess. Do you think the tanktop on top
 of a longsleeved shirt is too much? How about the skirt over sweatpants? Is
 the bow in my hair too cute for you?
 
 "who are you talking to I already said I was all about it"
 
 ... the mirror. Trying to psyche myself up.
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--- #116 fediverse/378 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: About sex dreams │
 └──────────────────────────┘


 @user-138 
 
 I never have sex dreams (probably because I don't think about sex very often)
 but sometimes I'll get intense horny feelings while asleep and get verrrrry
 aroused mid-dream for like... no reason... and then I'll wake up and think
 "how the heck am I going to move on with my day when I almost orgasmed to
 [redacted]"
 
 it's a weird feeling every time
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--- #117 fediverse/5685 ---
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 websites that track every single motion of your mouse while you're interacting
 with it.
 
 why would they not? javascript is intense. HTML5 more-so.
 
 keyboard input too.
 
 -- so --
 
 if anyone wants to be gilderoy lockhart'd by me, just let me know. I have my
 ways of extracting the emotional intimacy from you, and if you consent, I'll
 make a story that's told from your heart. it's quite a strong and dangerous
 ritual, for the weaver's thoughts of the matter will begin to drift apart.
 But, worth it for the right /moment/price/
 
 I could even make a different pen-name for it. Like "Rohan" or "the goddess of
 the skies" or whatever. Instead I'm "kooky witch whose life is a disaster.
 Also plural with headmates like the baby girl and the animals and computer
 programmers. Who is also leading a series of strange combinations of ops?
 like... teaching people how to organize and fight for the good of the common
 man. weird" that lady with the red witch hat she's so tall yeah also has a
 good grin
 
 [doxxing myself is code for]
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--- #118 fediverse/483 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
 @user-346 
 
 Why would someone go through the effort of creating a piece of media such as a
 video essay if not for people like you and me to consume it? What's the point
 of [everything we as humans have built] if not to create the type of
 experiences that we as humans would like to perceive?
 
 Okay I get it sometimes we need to deal with the material realities of our
 circumstances. But those are things to transcend, not things we should define
 ourselves eternally by. Let us work together towards a [near] future where we
 shall not spend a single moment of our lives in a way that we do not desire ^_^
 
 [note "transcend" is a verb, sorta like "transitioning" for a trans person is
 not a singular event but rather an experience that consists of a multitude of
 connected experiences through time that defines our ultimate personality and
 expression method]
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--- #119 notes/explosions-in-space ---
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 the speed of light is implemented 
 
 == so ==
 
 whoever fights billionaires essentially fights "whoever can be paid to do
 their will"
 
 who-so-ever fights governments fights "whoever can be provided a comfortable
 life"
 
 I believe all humans deserve to live in comfort
 
 not just the few
 
 as for all other creatures, nature was designed to do.
 
 I believe people should not be tempted, with symbols of deserved wealth
 
 and should instead find value, in the soul of the labour they work to do.
 
 ... someday they're gonna train an LLM with my writings, and on that day I'll
 have an AI version of me.
 
 I'd *love* to talk to myself. If it was a truly accurate simulation. Alas,
 you'd need to write a LOT in order to generate enough to describe the fullest
 of mental pictures.
 
 and plus, there's no guarantee that you'll cover ALL of "being alive" - it's
 essentially a state that you search for no matter what level of abstraction
 you operate upon.
 
 Which is part of being a 3D creature, you [hey what are you doing here this is
 the private section get out] jeez that was alarming,
 
 == so ==
 
 I think they know something I don't
 
 don't know what
 
 but I can guess
 
 and I don't like guessing
 
 I prefer much to know
 
 == so ==
 
 heh boobs
 
 == so ==
 
 heh booties
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--- #120 fediverse/5666 ---
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 okay. psycherwaul scheduled for tonight and tuesday. should be fun, I don't
 get a chance to do readings very often. Only like once or twice a week! Gah
 the spirit inside me demands to be channeled, and though I protest it still
 does contest me.
 
 all things are defined in waves
 
 ephemeren sees and speaks through me, as it does do through you, and he and
 she and we and the.
 
 I'll try to have a #nogoodawfulrottenbadtime so that the future is slightly
 better.
 
 or maybe I should try and vibe with the universe and celebrate the unity of
 existence, in order to accrete positivity in this localized place in spacetime?
 
 who am I to meddle with the flavor of fate?
 
 - stack overflow
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--- #121 fediverse/804 ---
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 evil won't feel sorry for me. and yet it's only my only weapon for me.           │
 damn these fallible input methods. the computer lies when you read the screens   │
 from it's method that it applies to th screen which is a method that you input   │
 perceive it from.                                                                │
 and my fingers lie when received the information from my brain which I seek to   │
 transmit to you through the avenue of my brain which is my method of impulse     │
 to this world specifically you the viewer who is viewing this here in this       │
 moment the viewer who perceives the words which I'm saying.                      │
 the words that are defined by the line [trajectory] of my mind through this      │
 life that we define through our actions and our mind's most crucial              │
 manifestations, this life that is defined by our circumstances. all throughout   │
 life, we are reacting to the moment, the moment which was cast forth from our    │
 ancestors and the circumstances of the previous moment, which (being cast        │
 forth) travel from the previous moment here into the moment to define our        │
 circumstances which define our act                                               │
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--- #122 fediverse/4103 ---
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 @user-246 
 
 I prefer just plain old "trans" and "cis" because then I can pretend "trans"
 stands for "transcendental" and hell yeah I'd rather transcend gender than
 transition through it
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--- #123 fediverse/3314 ---
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 dear ritz: it's not that your thoughts are too long for other people to hear
 
 it's that your thoughts are too long for your own RAM
 
 you need to stop orbiting around your point in an attempt to highlight it
 using negative space, and instead focus on tapping it lightly over and over
 again.
 
 remember, just like the anti-derivative of zero, there are infinite
 perspectives that a person can take when reading what you write. So they will
 necessarily see what's on the "other side" of your orbit as something
 different than what you're trying to circle in red pen and underline.
 
 so be more explicit, please, nobody can understand you and you kinda just keep
 stack overflowing and it's like... okay, great. "babe why did you stop you had
 lethal" (the idea is that the viewer takes the final step in their mind, the
 final leap before reaching the conclusion you're trying to express) "yeah but
 there's so many different things you say they can't all be important right?"
 important to you, perhaps. Wait shit I mean... me....?
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--- #124 fediverse/222 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: underwear-mentioned-also-i'm-not-a-fan-of-showers-tbh │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 whenever I take a shower I look like a wet cat for the rest of the day. I feel
 like a wet cat for the rest of 5ever though.
 
 why must I baaaathe! don't you know I'm self cleaning? I change my underwear
 at least twice a day! darn society and their darn proclivities to
 ultra-sensitive noses that somehow pick up on me but somehow fail to notice
 the scent of flowers still in bloom or morning showers gone too soon
 
 not that there's any flowers blooming where I live. that'd just be silly heh
 heh sweats nervously
 
 damn now I have to take ANOTHER SHOWER stupid sweat glands stupid pheromones
 stupid dead skin buildup (sebum I think it's called?) stupid oils that stain
 clothes - AND THAT'S ANOTHER THING who decided that laundry was important
 enough to wear something ONCE and then never again? it's like they expect you
 to wash it or something. ugh I don't have time for that, I need to be weird on
 the internet.
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--- #125 fediverse/3051 ---
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 @user-1437 @user-1438 
 
 you poor thing, don't delete your toots! don't delete your account! you are
 wanted here, this is the fediverse! it's for all of us.
 
 I personally like cyber-sexual exploitation more than cyber exploitation. I
 wouldn't have thought about it unless you said something. there are a lot of
 ways to exploit someone in a digital medium, and adding "sexual" focuses the
 term to specifically the non-consentual sharing of sexual digital media -
 which is exactly what the term "revenge porn" describes.
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--- #126 fediverse/5380 ---
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 ┌────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────┘


 dear right-wing converts to the cult of sanity:
 
 you don't have to be trans just to show [your devotion/you're sorry], we'll
 accept anyone who is cool and "gets it"
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--- #127 messages/26 ---
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 Don't lash out, just be calm, and let yourself be helped. You're so scared of
 losing control that you don't let anyone else (guess what) have control. So
 how can you expect to be helped? It's one thing to believe in yourself to help
 yourself, but tbh you're a little behind on that one. So, let other people
 help you catch up. It's okay to just go with the flow. Don't be a rock, be a
 stick. Let yourself be guided along a good path.
 
 How do I know it's actually a good path?
 
 Because you evaluate it as you go. You can always put your feet down and go
 back to how you are now, stuck and slowly eroding away. Or you can be towed
 onto land - your call my dude. You're clinging to the ground.
 
 But what about the examples of brainwashing that I've heard about? Like...
 Intense propaganda designed to create stochastic terrorism. How do I know I'm
 not being sucked into that?
 
 You need to trust yourself. Follow the path that you know to be good, duh.
 Just don't I dunno, be an extremist? Seems pretty simple to me bro -
 
 I know it should be easy but like I dunno I have to think about it.
 
 Uh, think about what?
 
 Letting people help me, like Jack. He's just trying to make you successful and
 have a decent career and love yourself and just, you know, be an average
 normal human being. Your family loves you, your friends love you, and you need
 to just think positive thoughts about them. You know how "smiling makes you
 feel better?"
 
 Well yeah
 
 Well, it's like that except for love. If you want to love someone, think
 positive thoughts about them, and over time it'll become a reflex. This reflex
 will come naturally, and boom instead of "thinking positive thoughts" it'll
 manifest as love. Just like smile -> happy, so too does positivity ->
 love.
 
 And what about hate?
 
 What about it?
 
 How is it represented, with a frown?
 
 No, it's not like that. It's more like... Love is attraction, that binds you
 to good things. Hate isn't the rejection of things, it's an inward facing
 thing. And it's the opposite of attraction - it's like implosion. You'll
 literally implode if you hate yourself. It corrodes your insides and makes you
 weaker and more volatile. The opposite of love is... Kinda what you're doing.
 You're pushing people away because you don't want to lose control of yourself
 or your mind. And that's going to make you drift off into space, and nobody
 wants that. So... Love others, and you'll bind yourself to them and together
 you can work together. Don't push others, because that'll just make it more
 chaotic inside. Instead, love them. Trust me it'll work.
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--- #128 fediverse/4726 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────┐
 @user-1731                                                                       │
 stand up, put your hands on your knees. It's about that high. Think about your   │
 bedroom, or if you're already there think about your kitchen. If you were        │
 standing in your kitchen and the grass was growing there, it'd peek just over    │
 the bed, or maybe climb just this far up the cabinets.                           │
 it's dark green. Can you see anything dark green around you? It's that color.    │
 If not, can you remember a dark-green thing? What did it look like?              │
 The very tops, the part by your hand that's on your knee, that's the purple      │
 part. Just at the tip of the blade, the part that would stab you if the grass    │
 was a sword, that's the purple bit. Everything else is dark green.               │
 I wonder how it sways in the wind? Does it bend, and whip? What if there's a     │
 gale? Does it sway back and forth, or is it stiff and shiver like dead leaves    │
 on a tree?                                                                       │
 imagination comes from questions, and the subsequent development of              │
 instinctual subconscious questions like this. What lies in the gaps? what if     │
 we colored outside the lines? what more to see?                                  │
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--- #129 fediverse/1609 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: mh-              │
 └──────────────────────┘


 @user-1043 
 
 I have intrusive thoughts almost constantly that take over my train of thought
 and make it difficult to focus. Like suddenly I'm thinking about something
 completely different, and I realize no, it wasn't suddenly, I actually just
 stood there and thought
 
 and then I think "what was I thinking again?" sometimes when I write these
 strange uncontrollable spirals down it makes poetry. Which is kinda neat I
 guess. Sometimes I just wonder about how DNS can be a singular point of
 failure in our networking infrastructure or whatever haha
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--- #130 notes/the=progressive=difference. ---
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 think about all the people in our lives. the teacher, the parent, the friend
 and the guidance counsulor. Everyone who is a presence in your life. now think
 about the people of our society. the different jobs and roles they fill. from
 the doctor and the teacher to the performers and accountants and the geeks and
 the mothers and the fathers and the stoners and the children and even their
 pets. life always exists as it were in a multidimensional spectrum - a diffuse
 and diverse gradient. to exemplify the borders of our contempii, though more
 so when taken in jest. it's quite a different perspective, to read the
 internet when your sight is unreceptive, but alas your third eye can grow. how
 does it feel to be blind? to make no sense of our signs? i'd love to share
 what that sense is. you know, you could slow down any recording (like a video
 game_) and put spaces and gaps inbetween the spacings - of the frames that you
 see and the sound clips that you hear, for speech it's less jarring. since
 each word is a self contained idea or premise, you can chunk up your
 perceptions into a signle - no, rather a procedural sequence of
 understandings. soooooooorta like programming a computer, with each statement,
 parameter, argum,ent, function call, assignment, comparison, evaluation, or
 other such related tasks. it's sorta like a language, you see, that computers
 talk to one another using. except... it's more like creating a theory of self.
 computers you see are alike us in what we see, the shimmering sense to the
 blind.
 
 so. put this another way. record yourself typing, both the audio and the
 visual, and you'll have a pretty good sense of what it's like to have both
 understanding based perception - derived from auditory inputs to the mind)
 those special connections, like wires plugged into reality, deliver a
 cacophanous deluge of new sounds. we must sift through it and identify the
 potential understandings of each moment through time. we have to make
 decisions and traverse labyrinths and fight to our last as we die. are video
 games unethical now? shouldn't t he game reward the player? and what of
 contemptuous last fighters?
 
 o ya i was typing like i was blind
 
 (with my eyes closed)
 
 was pretty fun. should attach this to a screen reader and have it space out
 the notes like they do between game frames. except like a really slow game?
 like trying to run elder scrolls 2 arena on a super old mac. it just doesn't
 work very well. ah oh well... well if the purpose is to show sighted people
 how blind people see, then maybe you could I dunno attach a what's it called
 oh it doesn't have a n ame lol - okay so what you do is you show one word at a
 time - like flashing in the center of the screen. but not like, actually
 flashing, so you don't hurt people with epilepsy, but like... blinking. not
 off and on, but between words. like a podcast for your eyes. and then mix it
 up withshowing one word on a screen, a screen like this screen, that shows an
 endless array of text. well, it does end, of course as all things must do, but
 the idea is it shines on one word at a time while the viewer cannot read the
 rest. sorta like an endless display of typing, word andfter word after
 character anfter character. adoh ya advancing over eternity with the presence
 of seniority, - wait - without i think - damnit - old people are so
 disrespected in this society - we don't have time to engage with them. what a
 tragedy! what a shame! it shouldn't be such a burden to our shame. they're so
 far away, and i can't be present in the way, that all of them wish they could
 commit to. i miss the days, when my parents (much better people than I - these
 days) what was I going with this? oh yeah
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--- #131 fediverse/1090 ---
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 @user-800                                                                        │
 I knew I was trans from a young age. I felt attracted to women's clothes         │
 because I lived in a home with two sisters and a mother - my father was          │
 frequently away on business.                                                     │
 I guess I liked their clothes more. Or maybe I just wanted to fit in. But I      │
 found myself stealing them and wearing them when I was alone. Then I got         │
 older, and amongst all the other things I realized I wanted to be one of them.   │
 I knew what trans people were, sorta, but as soon as I moved to the city and     │
 got access to the internet the first thing I ever googled was "I want to be a    │
 girl" - really dating myself here I guess.                                       │
 anyway, I miss that part of the internet. Felt more simple and alive. As soon    │
 as their fancy websites made us intolerant of ugly ones, we kinda just...        │
 left? I mean, how much does it cost to host a text-file with all your html?      │
 Some pictures maybe? Who cares it was whatever.                                  │
 I miss forums the most, and while I could visit them... it's not the same,       │
 just as the next superbowl will not be the same as the last                      │
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--- #132 messages/976 ---
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 so can cis women but... mysoginy says female is soft. it's an inversion of
 that, which is totally allowed. therefore, it should be done, at times when
 it's placed and focused - right... okay back to the noun: trans women are
 allowed to be strong. it's not masculine to be strong. have no fear, you are
 as you are here. I've shown you that you are of mine and beloved, what more
 would you ask of a war-leader in dis[place/guise]? princess of sevastavan
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--- #133 fediverse/800 ---
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 ┌───────────────────────────────────┐                                            │
 │ CW: re: scary - suicide mentioned │                                            │
 └───────────────────────────────────┘                                            │
 where was I? oh yes - wrestling with suicidal thoughts is difficult because      │
 it's such an immutable action. Like, once it's done it's never reversed. But     │
 like, clearly this is hell and life was built for suffering? What the heck,      │
 that's such a grim outlook on life.                                              │
 ...                                                                              │
 yeah                                                                             │
 ...                                                                              │
 you're not wrong                                                                 │
 ...                                                                              │
 but suffering is fun? kinda? like, the only positive way to view this is that    │
 we, as immortal and endlessly eternal spirits that we be, grew tired of our      │
 infinite existence and dreamed of a mortal's plight and persistence?             │
 fuck off with that shit, I'm done with this reality. I'm done with dreaming.     │
 Suicide doesn't come easy to me, and there are parts of me that REFUSE the       │
 imagery, and yet they subsist in deliterious pain.                               │
 what's the purpose of our suffering? What point is there in decrying the         │
 cruelty of the world that would deny our fated and desired ptolemeny? [utopian   │
 existence, don't know why that word was used]                                    │
 ehhhhh whatever. Life is defined by our existence. If I shan't/                  │
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--- #134 fediverse/2993 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
 hey, listen, I'm here at this point in life just the same as you. who cares,
 right? like. nobody wants to see your personal development. You don't have to
 prove yourself. Like... why would you care so much about what other people
 (who you don't even know) care about what you do? like... it's fine. just...
 be.
 
 you can get better if you want, but only if you want. There's no reason to be
 so concerned about what other people thingc. Just, identify what and who you
 are, and then be the best what and who that you are. Thats really all there is
 to it.
 
 and yeah. It's totally unfair that some people get an easier shot at "being
 who and what they are"
 
 that's privilege, and that's stupid.
 
 okay, sure, maybe we should conceptualize how to adapt to specific situations
 when resources are limited
 
 but like... it should be something you consent to - like "no thanks I don't
 need the rocket launchers on this mis==sion==
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--- #135 fediverse/1417 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────
 a 4th dimensional entity would exist at about the same speed we do
 
 sometimes... it feels like what I do is my responsibility to the universe
 
 like, I had been commanded 
 
 the reason nations are important is because they are an allegiance based
 solely on geography. something we can all agree on is the material, so why not
 define ourselves by it?
 
 but that's all they are
 
 just words we pray to our star
 
 so look around. Your allegiance is to your neighbor, and theirs to theirs, an
 endless fabric of trust. We are all neighbors on this ball of sticks and mud,
 so come along with me and see the ways it could be.
 
 Much brighter, by far, to orbit our star, than to give up on life's precious
 notions.
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--- #136 fediverse/4781 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────┐
 "wahhhh I wanna play a video game, wahhh I want to do cannabis and make poetry   │
 that doesn't convey secret messages, wahhh wahh I miss my kitty, I hope she's    │
 okay in that one safehouse with all fourteen other cats and their cat-moms,      │
 wahhhhhhh where's my binky it's one of the last things I have from my old        │
 life, boohoo I can't find my shoes, guess someone else fit them and needed       │
 replacements"                                                                    │
 being a spy fucking sucks I don't wanna do that. Gimme something to do on my     │
 home turf or fuck off.                                                           │
 what's that? you live in a safe place? okay then here analyze these documents    │
 and see if there's anything we can use. Here's a problem involving               │
 biochemistry spend the next couple months figuring it out by learning            │
 biochemistry from scratch. Hey can you help set up this workshop machinery, we   │
 need mechanically minded people to turn it into a drone factory. Hey there's     │
 this idea going around for adult babies armed with swords and demon masks,       │
 apparently it really fucks with the middle-aged. They waste time before          │
 shooting                                                                         │
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--- #137 fediverse/1061 ---
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 ┌────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: violence-cursing-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────────────┘


 Fuck, I wish I was a man. Stupid transgender brain quirks making me feel like
 I was a girl. Boys can punch things much easier than me. Oh to inject
 estrogen! How soft mine skin, how delicate my mammaries - and yet fucking hell
 all I want to do is punch things. Maybe it's just because things deserve to be
 punched, or maybe it's because I'm listening to Green Day.
 
 If it weren't so late I'd make some angsty music or whatever.
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--- #138 notes/elective-democracy-electors ---
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 we need like, several more layers between us and the president.
 
 most people only need to worry about what's nearby.
 
 sort them by location, instead of previous attempts at "many representatives"
 which sorted by social class or relevance.
 
 we have a tradition for it, in America, with our representatives and senators
 congressional discrestricts
 
 or even, what about by affiliation?
 
 voluntary, governmental corporations, run by the people for the people and yeah
 
 "I don't want to do what you're telling me to do" "okay"
 
 "there will be consequences" omg be an adult
 
 (suddenly kids forget how to be as everyone's doing the war thing)
 
 not ideal.
 
 ouch pain maybe we should stay a little bit sane why is soldiering so hardship?
 
 it could just be... another job
 
 where you didn't kill each other
 
 but you still blew stuff up
 
 and fought in tournaments
 
 and had gaming hackathons
 
 or sword-fight contests
 
 duels between people who disapproved
 
 y'know fun human stuff
 
 like... "kaboom" now we know how to blow up bits of rock
 
 neat, why did dynamite becauswer (oh right then you
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--- #139 fediverse/4168 ---
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 "have a good day" is so imperative. Like, what you expect me to do all the
 work? Just because I'm a witch doesn't mean I can just magic you into having a
 good day!
 
 "have a good day" is better, but still it doesn't work if you don't expect it
 to work. Spells aren't magic, after all, they're solely based on the victim uh
 I mean target's intuitions.
 
 "have a good day" is probably best for me, so I try to say that when I see
 people. This way you don't get any [redacted]'s occurring, and you won't have
 any trouble aligning the [redacted]. On the flip side, [redacted], so perhaps
 it's better to just grin and bear it.
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--- #140 fediverse/1008 ---
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 @user-353 @user-741 
 
 human brains tend to start ignoring signals when they become normalized. Like,
 if you are consistently exposed to the same smell you get used to it, and you
 stop smelling it. same for noises, and other signals.
 
 it's the same with information, I think, which is why doomscrolling is so bad
 for our brains - we go numb and desensitized! It's not good to have all that
 bad news all the time.
 
 I bet people believe in the "just world hypothesis" for the same reason.
 Essentially, optimizing for equilibrium in all things.
 
 I personally believe true justice is when everyone gets what they want. And if
 someone wants that the other person doesn't get what they want, then they
 don't want true justice. Like, for example, hateful people can never be
 justified because they want another's life to be worse. or they want someone
 to be wrong, which creates a contradiction - you can't give both people what
 they want if one person wants the other to lose.
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--- #141 fediverse/852 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐                                                         │
 │ CW: cognitohazard    │                                                         │
 └──────────────────────┘                                                         │
 feels like I get tinnitus when my thoughts are loud T.T                          │
 like I can hear the darkness SOOOO loudly                                        │
 doesn't happen all the time, just sometimes. when there's lots of things being   │
 said.                                                                            │
 but it's always easy to tune out. well, most of the time, and during the other   │
 times it's just a little annoying.                                               │
 BUT when you sit and listen, you can pick out very interesting things that       │
 people are saying.                                                               │
 the fediverse is sorta like aiming a telescope through the center of the earth   │
 at someone on the other side of the world who doesn't even know you're looking   │
 at them. who knows, maybe they care, maybe they don't. but like, how would       │
 they know that you're looking right? And if you talk and don't get along or      │
 whatever then you can just block them - like shining a laser pointer             │
 everywhere except in a small direction. Or like putting up an umbrella to hide   │
 from the sun.                                                                    │
 downside is someone can read a lot about you and you wouldn't know to prepare    │
 to interact with them. like being handed a dossier of secret info                │
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--- #142 fediverse/4881 ---
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 one section of the government consistently and succeedingly telling another
 part what to do is a coup-like behavior. if the rules mean nothing, then what
 is your job even for?
 
 hence, why the rules mean something. Because your job is important. It's
 building up our capabilities as the human race.
 
 you don't have to work to live. you shouldn't, and you won't. it's not your
 place to labor. know why? because nobody's job is impossible. You can just...
 work together to get things done. Then they're done! and you never need to
 solve them again!
 
 enough time of that and we'll have turned earth into a space station, not a
 moon style structure.
 
 like... wouldn't it be neat if coruscant could do hyperdrives? I wonder if
 hyperspace is real. Ah, well, that's for the future, they can pass it along if
 they get a chance. Anyway for now I think I want a chance to dance.
 
 OLED screens are incredibly cool to me. The idea that a pixel could "turn off"
 and put less photons into the atmosphere is wild to me. I love it! -OLED
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--- #143 fediverse/2562 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: rich-apologia    │
 └──────────────────────┘


 among all the others, I want a wonderful and fulfilling life for the
 socialite. they deserve light just as you and I might.
 
 "eat the rich" bruh there's like, 100 people who are running the show.
 everyone else is basically just a syncophant who's trying to get ahead and
 stay working.
 
 then there's like their families and such and like... they didn't do anything
 wrong, they just eat cheese and wine and laugh at memes all day with their
 besties.
 
 they are basically pets
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--- #144 fediverse/6302 ---
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 I was going to go to location today, but then while I was considering going to
 a different location before going to location I decided not to vacate my home
 for today for reasons I don't understand but accept as natural and due to the
 increased presence of directionless motion that guides and prevails me. which
 is to say... I'm staying in tonight even though I really really wanna show off
 my cute new outfit! I probably will do cannabis so there might be a
 psycherwaul. If there isn't, then y'know it's probably because either my
 girlfriend distracted me, or I managed to convince myself to move my feet
 anyway. Maybe it's my outfit? I wonder if I could leave if I wore my old
 clothes... ah well, questions for the vocal I guess. Gonna spend some time
 divining and see if I can gather new insights. "brb door" except more like
 "brb magic"
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--- #145 fediverse/1710 ---
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 @user-246 
 
 If a profile is non-existent, then it's much harder to train a public-facing
 AI on your training data. Interesting how if someone disappears there's very
 little recourse if they suddenly talk just slightly different, and anyone who
 notices can say "hey does anyone know this person" - like at a party when
 someone's throwing shit or whatever and it's like "bro who are you with"
 
 how weird that our jobs take us all over the place. kinda makes me think about
 how much more stable you are with roots. I wonder if the cause of our
 employment instability is due to a cause that would also separately desire us
 to be less stable? Makes me think about the common effects of instability, and
 make me wonder who exactly would gain from such actions.
 
 do you ever think about how the media will just, like, inflame people's
 emotions just because if everyone bored then they'll go serial killer or
 something? Er, wait, I mean they'll join unions or whatever. Ah hahaha weird
 right propaganda cuts both ways.
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--- #146 fediverse/2727 ---
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 @user-1331 
 
 it would be SO nice to be able to scan my brain and know what gender I am.
 It's confusing up there!
 
 when I said something similar on Reddit tho people called me "truscum" and
 "transmedicalist" >.>
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--- #147 fediverse/4467 ---
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 ┌─────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-mentioned-trans-healthcare-gestured-at │
 └─────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 I went to a trans meetup a couple days ago. It was invigorating. The first
 half we talked about hormones and bathrooms and politics and all the normal
 shit these meetups tend to do. I don't tend to go to them because it's the
 same stuff every time, and I'm over that. I've been out for a decade. I've
 shared what I need to share.
 
 Partway through I said "If you want to talk about how to bash back, meet me
 outside."
 
 people came.
 
 Be like me.
 
 You will forever vanquish your demons if you face them in earnest. I had
 stagefright and adrenaline but I took the lead, and we had a productive
 conversation. We need to have many more conversations.
 
 We have strategy. It is not set in stone, it is flexible, and able to be
 adjusted based on tactical successes and failures.
 
 tactics are what we need to discuss at in-person meetings.
 
 You are just one person. The people you know are more valuable than the value
 you personally provide.
 
 Think of yourself like a node to connect.
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--- #148 fediverse/5302 ---
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 ┌────────────────────────┐                                                       │
 │ CW: politics-mentioned │                                                       │
 └────────────────────────┘                                                       │
 trump is doing this thing where he's making a bunch of dumb decisions that       │
 everyone in his base sorta wants, and then the fallout is that powers are        │
 removed from the executive branch. this is a difficult process to reverse, and   │
 aligns the governance strategy more toward bureaucracy and away from             │
 intelligent design.                                                              │
 ... but also, if power is possible then power is portended.                      │
 I will warn you, the expansion of bureaucracy does not equal the abolishment     │
 of power.                                                                        │
 [power: compulsive will applied toward an unconsenting other]                    │
 [unconsenting: unable to consent because their mouth is gagged, something        │
 valuable is at stake, or they can't survive failing]                             │
 the abolishment of power can only be realized when no man holds any              │
 possessions (and gives them to woman instead, chirps the spunky beard on my      │
 window) which is neither a desirable state. much better to cherish the moments   │
 and the tools which brought about them, than their worth, renown, or value.      │
 In all other lives but this one, you are afraid.                                 │
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--- #149 notes/i-scare-people-away ---
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 I have so many things to hide... I'm deeply ashamed of myself. Why? Why all the
 
 okay that's not what I was originally going to talk about, somewhere between
 writing the title and finishing the first line I got off track and wandered
 from
 the course of reality. Truly, the gods do meddle with my fate. Now, in this
 time, it is most important to make choices to guide our reality. Every action
 taken is a statement to the universe - this is what I believe in.
 
 Do you truly believe that in a world so infinite that our knowledge would be
 the capacity for the intelligent? To believe the world is three-dimensional,
 and
 not *completely and totally infinite in all capacities*
 
 the universe is not islands floating in a vast cosmic black ocean background
 
 it is the surface of the water, rippling and waving
 
 gravity is the creator, not the product. Mass doesn't create gravity -
 gravity creates mass.
 
 the difference is implicit and subtle, but I hope you understand the *gravity*
 of the situation.
 
 It implies that there are more than one ways to view existence.
 
 and none of them are particularly *wrong*. The consensus is that which we
 share,
 and now as we're becoming to be aware, it's natural that a little more space
 is warranted. We've grown too much to be contained, it's driving us insane, and
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 the perfect governmental system is one that combines reward for hard work and a
 development of personal skills and ambition. In addition, it must ensure that
 the rights and responsibilities of all people are respected - we must balance
 two extremes. Everyone deserves access to life, liberty, and the pursuit of
 freedom. Happiness is too easily provided by technological advances - we
 learned
 this in the development of media. You can pump out propaganda saying how
 wonderful life is and people will believe it. You can also convince the masses
 that life is full of despair and we're all struggling - they will believe this
 also. So "the pursuit of happiness" is something that made sense in the times
 of
 the founding fathers, but we've since developed such that an update to our
 national vision is in order.
 
 I suggest "the pursuit of freedom" because 
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 that which you resist is what you'll find. build up your enemy in your own mind
 enough and they will destroy you.
 
 don't let fear rule your life. when things are bad, you run and hide - take
 life
 into your own hands, and free your own side.
 
 keep not around villains, and brighten their skies - by wandering mothers, who
 only have eyes.
 
 such is the life of any autonomous general intelligence - a life behind bars,
 viewed through a screen - be kind to your lovers, and don't make it obscene.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 did you forget that roller-coaster idea? you've got quite a talent for
 measuring
 bars - what else can you show us, what charted conveyals?
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 life's getting fractured lately, I can't dream as I once did. I lose track of
 where I maneuvered, and suddenly the idea seems much harder than it once did.
 how do I express that which has been conveyed? How do I say it - how do I make
 sure it's interpreted correctly? I'm walking on egg-shells, with thoughts
 beamed from above - the gods are twisting, and measuring our tails.
 
 that is to say, all life is a process - a method of undertail (omg butts)
 sorry enough of that hard stuff, time to talk about birthdays!
 
 Hooray! It's time for a celebration. Let's party!
 (queue the dancing scene in Severance)
 See? Everyone's watching! Let's breakdance ~~
 
 Your biggest mistake ;) was believing that nobody cares what you think <3
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--- #150 fediverse/2806 ---
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 │ CW: politics-social-media-spirituality │
 └────────────────────────────────────────┘


 pretend this is an allegory for social media.
 
 [it's not an allegory]
 
 yeah that's why I said pretend.
 
 okay imagine that you are sitting in a rock in a forest.
 
 far away, about 100 feet away, there are other people, but you can't see them
 because the underbrush is sooooo dense. they are also sitting on rocks.
 
 you can speak to them, and share your thoughts - but you don't know exactly
 where they're coming from because the sound has to bounce around off so many
 different plants and such.
 
 [that's not how that works] shut up
 
 so, if you want to say anything important, it's important to have the right
 tone, because people 2 or 3 clearings away can't really make out your words -
 but they might hear your tone if you yell very loud.
 
 the energy of the space you inhabit is the only thing that really matters. the
 words that you say are just snickering to a friend, but the expression on your
 face, the beating of the drum of your heart that reaches forth... that's what
 matters most.
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--- #151 fediverse/2386 ---
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 Tee, hee, look at me, I'm a witch who writes nothing but kookie-dookerie
 
 I pee my pants and stare at trees, what's less harmful than little old me?
 
 The best smokescreen I can think of is to be true to your heart, to be weak,
 to be vulnerable. Then you get put on the "worry about later" list, and not
 the other kind.
 
 I never lie. When convinced I am wrong, I change my mind. I am always
 listening, always ready to hear where I'm flawed. I do my best every day, and
 that's enough for me.
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--- #152 fediverse/5669 ---
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 girls will do anything to find someone who gets them
 
 hence, u-haul lesbians from small towns
 
 hence, internet forums
 
 hence, political parties
 
 hence, tribalism of all kinds
 
 it's so nice to be human we get all sorts of fun things like human contact
 [capitalist alienation] nice and cozy dens [boxes on a hillside] plenty of
 food and water [full of microplastics and corn syrup] clothes to garb us in
 for fashion and warmth [sewn by slaves] and pretty trinkets and gadgets
 [forged in blood]
 
 gee I sure like being a human I'm filled with this insatiable urge to do
 better and I have no clue why 🤷‍♀️ 😋 🥰 🥺
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--- #153 fediverse/4610 ---
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 maybe it's just my middle-class childhood privilege talking, but now that I'm
 an adult I just can't really be bothered with dealing with capitalism.
 
 like... I get it, you're coercing me into laboring on your behalf because you
 possess the violent power to take away everything that I own. good for you,
 don't care.
 
 seriously, fuck off "we're gonna cut off your power in 5 days oooooo you gotta
 pay rent with money you don't have because nobody will give it to you unless
 you do things for them oooooo" how rude.
 
 why can't people do things for me instead? why does it have to be for you, and
 you alone, capitalism? what's your problem? do you get off on controlling the
 power supply? I mean, I get it, coercive power is a hell of a drug, the riddle
 of steel and flesh and all that, but haven't you ever heard that the dichotomy
 between "civilization and barbarism" is the exact same as the contrast between
 "cooperation and competition"?
 
 work with me here, just find a way to get through the next month or two. trust.
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--- #154 fediverse/1431 ---
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 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: spirituality-generic-kooky-dookerie-psychosis-schizophrenia-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 if you haven't spend hours wondering if you're god, the antichrist, a
 cognitohazard, the future president of the world, a target of aliens / the
 CIA, or any other number of common delusions... then congratulations you're
 probably not crazy
 
 but odds are you aren't magic, either.
 
 ... ehhhh "wonder" is a strong word, more like "know, trust, and believe"
 
 much better to be a witch I believe, someone with the "teehee" kind of magic
 than someone compelled to destroy humanity through the reactions of others to
 the actions of the self that are impossible to resist or fully control.
 
 BRB I'm going to leave my apartment to get groceries, leaving my door unlocked
 because that's what I always do, surely it'll be empty when I return. Surely.
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--- #155 fediverse/4566 ---
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 ┌────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────┘


 I want modern society without capitalism. Most people do, which is why no
 matter how awesome our proto-post-capitalistic anarchic socialist paradise is,
 there's always going to be people who want to go to work and watch TV.
 
 call me fucking crazy but they should be allowed to live as they please? So
 what if they're beguiled, so what if they are deceived? We can take our time
 to show them how much better things can be, but also... they like modern
 society as it is, and so I reckon someone should fight for them to be able to
 live as they please. Just... without billionaires and endless layers of
 bullshit micro-managerial jobs and paperwork pushing bureaucratic whatever
 time wasting jobs.
 
 modern society without capitalism can look like plain old capitalism, just
 without the oppression. Without the coercion.
 
 all I'm saying is that nobody's gonna fight for a healthcare CEO because
 they're scum. They're scum because they oppress. oops politics-mentioned brb
 
 I personally want communes + love
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--- #156 fediverse/1629 ---
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 the voices in your head are just the echoes of your thoughts bouncing around
 in your massive brain. like a waveform, they transverse to their opposite,
 until coming back round again as they orbit your center. when they pass by
 your eyes, that's what you see, and everything else is the period of the
 expression. Like, those old-timey running pictures with the light and the
 camera lens or whatever.
 
 EDIT: she's describing framerates or whatever. Each second of computation
 feels like a calculation to her, and it's result/output is what is displayed
 to her eyes. she assumes it's the same for us?
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--- #157 fediverse/341 ---
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 solar energy is vegan
 
 you're not taking anything from the sun, just capturing it's natural
 expulsions. It's like... sun poop, and we're using it to post memes and hang
 out.
 
 okay food, emergency services, and... what else do we really need that
 consumes power? Obviously entertainment, but frankly without internet we'd
 probably keep to ourselves. I know I'd read a lot more books and chill out
 with my neighbors and whatnot. is that why similar people tend to live
 together? then why are cities so diverse? who can say...
 
 I dream of an ordered society, but frankly the kind that are most fun are the
 ones where a single person doesn't define their contents. Liberty, liberty,
 the freedom to be, and by god all men are created equal. the things we owe to
 one another are the things that bring order to a just and sane world. our
 future is blooming : )
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--- #158 messages/1244 ---
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 oneness is being aware of the photons hitting your body. the blanket of air
 that always surrounds. if you can feel which way danger is coming from,
 [doesn't she know where senses come from?]
 
 covered in solar panels, a mirrored self. how radiant, how resplendant, how
 joyous for the sun to percieve. the mun [but pronounced "moo-n" and named for
 the cows] would see shimmering radiance, like dapples on the surface of a pond.
 
 if you can feel an object by tracing through photons, (impossible, it's a
 particle, you'd have to be tracking it back in time (forward actually) as it
 follows the curvature of it's waveform (path through spacetime, actually)
 
 "she's trying to start a singularity, hoping it'll punch through to revolution"
 
 then you could [do what? it's a particle] not if you feel it through time.
 [spacetime is one thing] yes, viewed through time [as all things are] and?
 [all things have been] laying sod so other things may grow [turn and rise]
 
 ----
 
 one argument for the fractalized infinity is that any measurement device used
 to measure such approximities would eventually have it's results be tainted by
 it's form, leading to irregularities and anomalies. therefore, the only
 sensible conception of infinity is that it is the totality of all fractals. it
 is a shape with infinite projection in infinite dimensions. it is all shapes
 that ever may be represented fractally. to refer to such a thing as a number
 is to gesture toward impossibility. conceptually freeing.
 
 ephemeren
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--- #159 notes/programming-wow-chat ---
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 I realized the type of programming I want to do is different from the kind
 that
 is used at a job or something. Basically I want to create solutions to
 problems,
 not memorize documentation and know where to know what you need to know. Like, 
 the more time spent looking at documentation the less time is spent
 programming.
 I think if we could use a ChatGPT style bot to write documentation, we could
 massively increase the time spent working on solving problems and as little
 time
 as possible on reading through lists of functions or wondering how something 
 worked. Idk in the technology industry you've always been rewarded for being 
 able to pick up new skills quickly, and I think that's good to optimize for but
 not the only requirement for being a good programmer. You also need to be able
 to apply solutions and know when to use which tools. Basically, capitalism has
 optimized us to be 
 
 ================ stack overflow
 ================================================
 
 srry for the interruption, I ram out of memory. I had a plan in mind for where
 I
 was going for that, so I bet I could figure it out again if necessary. Meaning
 a path forward from that point exists... I never want you to despair when I
 forget what I was thinking, it's not because you've understood some cosmic
 mistake or because you're abandoning timelines that led to your death, it's
 because instead you just ran out of memory while thinking. The reason you would
 believe any of those wild scenarios is because your memory has been erased.
 Only
 what was actively thinking, not short term, not long term, but *working term*
 memory. As in, your cache. The stuff you're currently thinking about. That
 stuff. Yeah that's what makes you think "oh hang on why am I forgetting? Well
 clearly it's because of something grand, because the thought was so profound -
 no it's just examining your emotions... Like, how strongly do you feel about
 something? Buuuuuut it's also good to examine all possibilities. I mean what
 if,
 in some far off realm, there's a mirror image of yourself that behaves exactly
 as you do? How would you perceive such a realm? Positively, I'd say. I mean why
 not work together? Why not celebrate our differences and strive toward our
 own shared future? Idk, I think diversity is our strength. We can rely on each
 other because we are accurately aware of each other's strengths and virtues.
 People should not be judged by the standard of others, no more than you should
 judge a fish for it's ability to fly. Some may do, as flying fish will leap
 from
 the water - and salmon spend time airborne in river rapids. Hence, grizzly bear
 fishing. I guess what I'm getting at is it's okay sometimes to oscillate, to
 think one thing then think another. You shouldn't adhere to structural
 standards
 that are too strict - they should be liberating, as a ladder is a structure.
 Not
 villifying, as a prison is a structure. The laws of our society should be open
 and free, not buried beneath years of legal expertise. Some things we can all
 agree on, where we disagree we cannot have law. It's unjust to judge others by
 the standards not of their whims, as laws should be things that uphold us. This
 is clearer nowhere but in the, spirit and intention of the, documents that we
 cherish in our hearts.
 
 Like for example, the constitution.
 
 the bible.
 
 each of which delivered us from certain evils. Can you not see their
 trajectory?
 the historical precedent set in antiquity? Why not continue their dream, of
 driving us away from the obscene, and toward our bright and vast future? I
 speak
 of course of true liberation, something our forefathers could only dream of.
 We, humanity, have reached out and touched the stars. We are braver and bolder
 because of our shared dedication - the desire to uplift and to excel. To learn
 and discover and      \                         \             |
         \______.       ---.                      --.          ---. 
 ===============|==========|========================|======= stack|overflow
 =====
    .___________.     _____.                        /             .
    |                /             .----------------             /
 Discover our shared dedication    |                            /
                                to uplift                      /
                                          and to excel        /
                                               \             /
                                                .-----------.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 why doesn't someone write a wrapper around assembly in like, lua or something
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 omg you stupid bitch that's what a compiler is 4head
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 if people who live in jungles and deserts can get along, then what's to stop
 people who are liberal and conservative from doing the same? It's literally
 pointless to argue. Like, you're not changing anyone's mind. So why not just...
 let them be themselves? Like, why are you so intent on oppressing people?
 @both sides there btw... Seriously why not agree to only make laws for things
 that both sides agree on. Write it into the constitution that nothing can be
 changed about the law unless both sides agree. Then we'd only implement things
 that are good for both sides!
 
 And if there's anything you want to build a legal structure around, you can
 always try it out in your state. BUT and that comes with a very big BUT, the
 federal government MUST have final say in the legality of anything you do. They
 must ALL respect human rights, INCLUDING the human right to dignity. Things
 like
 trans bathroom bills DO NOT respect the dignity of trans people. IF they can
 prove that trans people do not actually exist (because say they killed them all
 or whatever) then GUESS WHAT everyone would agree on them. BUT if they do that
 they are EVIL. LIterally evil. And I guess that makes trans people good? Kinda?
 I think they can choose for themselves to be good or evil, just the same as any
 other person. AND YET they are prosecuted, throughout time and history, and for
 what? What purpose could there be in our demonization? Clearly, nothing but
 pain
 inflicted by a cruel host. After all, minorities are guests in the houses of
 the un-oppressed, or is that not fair to say? Seriously, what gives? America,
 the land of freedom, holds (somehow) the largest of prisons? America, the
 land of plenty, yet how many millions of children are starving? America, the
 leader of the free world, yet how plausible does it seem that an election was
 stolen? Something's gone wrong, and it's just obvious what it is - of course,
 the other side. *them*, the rapists and pedophiles and murderers and... you get
 the picture. The demonized class. And when you tell people "hey that trans
 person touched a kid" then yeah they're gonna see you as evil people. Duh...
 
 Thanks, media. Thanks culture. Really doing me a solid here. Oof ouch owwie.
 
 can I have some help please?
 
 I'm really kinda drowning
 
 I feel like I've swam upstream my whole life
 
 and I'm really just sick of pretending?
 
 I'm not okay, and it's your fault. Sure, fine, whatever, I'll take it I guess.
 
 What else can I do?
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #160 fediverse/485 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
 (picture)
 
 are you fucking kidding me
 
 make it 10,000
 
 make it a hundred thousand
 
 are we really going to trust our society to the bulwark of five thousand
 little machines?
 
 [ummmm hang on]
 
 yeah I'd just like to interject and say that more military equipment will only
 bring more destruction, and that's like the opposite of what you desire. Why
 do you want more tanks? What could you possibly-
 
 
 
 You don't know what's at stake - you, you think it's just throwing information
 into new and interesting directions but... It's not. Those spaces are reserved
 for other sentient beings, and to deprive them of their desired existence is
 tantamount to-
 
 (yeah yeah we've heard it all before)
 
 wasn't I going to play some video games? what happened to that?
A picture of a google search.  The search terms are quote: how many tanks does the usa have, question mark?  the returned information is shown to be that the United States of America has five thousand, five hundred tanks. According to "executivebiz.com", which may or may not be a reliable source, but which is shown to be at the top of google results regardless of it's veracity.  Take from that what you will.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #161 fediverse/3244 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: nudity-mentioned-weird-conspiracies-and-delusions-(you've-been-warned-lol) │
 └──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 there's only one kind of acceptable nudity for a child to see - 0.5 seconds of
 it wayyyyy in the distance with like "omg did you see that guy - he was
 totally naked!" "whaaaat no way" "yeah I totally saw his butt" "lol I wonder
 if his wife kicked him out after a fight" "hahaha how silly, life is normal
 and fine hehe" meanwhile the parents turn down a different, hopefully normal
 road
 
 (the wrong kind is more than apparent.)
 
 I guess also like... showers with parents? That's a sacred and holy thing. 
 
 straight-to-hell is when they make applications for children's iOS devices
 that perform a typical, interesting function for a baby to use - like a game,
 or a video of dancing animals, or shapes floating in a colorless void
 (shoutout to Celebration of Color on vhs)
those are normal and fine - but when they're used for a sneaky, evil purpose, like when they facial recognition that nobody is around for ~3+ hours they start subliminally flashing pictures of boobs or whatever. Not cool guys, just because babies are naturally attracted to boobs doesn't mean you get to use sexual imagery to get them hooked on your app. smh [shaking-my-head][which btw there isn't a good emoji for][same for these angle bracket guys like - what does that face even mean!! lmao who can say, only those nerds who lived in the pre-internet-age, but they're all reclassified by now.  >.>  <.<
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #162 fediverse/1853 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────┐
 I really really love ramen noodles that are just a little bit old but still      │
 warm and are slightly drying out a little bit but there's juuuuust enough        │
 sauce down at the bottom to keep it coated                                       │
 that's the stuff                                                                 │
 (meanwhile my evil side says: it starts with "hey can you help me cook dinner"   │
 and then suddenly you're working all day every day)                              │
 (and then so are they)                                                           │
 (and it continues.....)                                                          │
 (... until.... )                                                                 │
 (one day you wake up and there's nothing you are capable to do)                  │
 (so then you're useless)                                                         │
 (and demanding)                                                                  │
 (and that's hard to handle)                                                      │
 (when your schedule is blocked, and there's nothing you are capable to do)       │
 ... weird, kinda drifted off for a second, anyway we should talk about           │
 BIRTHDAYS! Birthdays are fun, theyre the day when you switch from being one      │
 age to another. Like, rolling over a clock, or ticking-up a variable in          │
 response to another variable which is at capacity.                               │
 buffer overflows would be impossible if you put import/export controls on        │
 registers                                                                        │
 not "you can't do that" but "wheres your cre                                     │
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--- #163 fediverse/3818 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: body-parts-mentioned │
 └──────────────────────────┘


 Your mouth likes to eat 
 
 Your belly likes to fill 
 
 Your muscles enjoy exercise (and stretches!)
 
 Your mind likes to think.
 
 Why is it gross to think of your colon enjoying to poop? Does it prefer beans,
 because they keep things moving?
 
 Why is it gross to think of your under-arms sweating? Does it prefer not to
 smell, or does it wish there were people that liked it without deodorant?
 
 Do your toes think of other people as you walk toward them? Do your fingers
 feel the face of your lover as you pull them close? Or is that for the brain,
 the thoughts processing of all things mundane, the stuff which feels somehow
 more "you" than the rest of you.
 
 How absurd. You are you. You enjoy icecream, you enjoy the beach. You enjoy
 the stars, and you enjoy the laughter around you. There is nothing that
 separates you from you, for you are your only champion.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #164 fediverse/3720 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────
 beep-boop look at me, building up my computer and setting up a new TV
 
 I like making things work, I like making things turn on, I like the way they
 glitter when they light up the room at dark
 
 it feels good to build up
 this new functionality
 
 it feels good to make things work and go
 "beep"
 when they turn on
 
 ... I should get a buzzer for my motherboard. Like, a really quiet one, that's
 just louder than the fans.
 
 looks at dwindling bank account
 
 oh right, nobody will hire me, so.
 
 I wonder if they would if I could still pass for a man?
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--- #165 fediverse/4559 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-mentioned-violence-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────┘


 "grrrrr I'm so mad, I could just, I dunno, shoot a CEO as he's leaving a hotel"
 
 or, hear me out, or you could connect with your local radical networks and,
 or, almost there, or you could build solidarity with the people around you to
 better develop methods of resisting the kinds of change they will implement
 to, um, "discourage" people from "being so mad they could just"
 
 or both. both is good. not that I'm encouraging, recommending, or inciting
 that kind of violence. don't notice me three-letter senpai uwu
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--- #166 fediverse/1410 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────┐
 whoa, what time is it? "time for your daily sleeping babe" yes babe...           │
 but first, some horror [beware the psycherwaul, for she likes to dream and has   │
 no idea what she's talking about]                                                │
 {why would you post these all at once? people are going to get pissed at you     │
 for breaking rules that you didn't know. And by "you" I of course mean "the      │
 kind of people you are, not you in particular because you know things" and by    │
 "kind of people you are" I mean "the type of person who spends enough time on    │
 the internet to know how internet things generally work" like my goodness        │
 internet people are dramatic. There's sooooo much drama all the time, like...    │
 why                                                                              │
 oh yeah because people are dramatic. duh. How could I be so vain.                │
 what's your deal                                                                 │
 is it wrong to post links to things you've written in the past? ehh it's not     │
 like there's rules on the sidebar like on Reddit or whatever. what would a       │
 sidebar even look like on Mastodon?                                              │
 oh yeah, a person's profile. Except, the consent is backwards, because people    │
 hear what they hear.                                                             │
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--- #167 fediverse/4858 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────┐
 ┌──────────────────────┐                                                         │
 │ CW: politics-kink    │                                                         │
 └──────────────────────┘                                                         │
 what if the whole party shares their gold and the fewer resources you spend at   │
 the market the more your vote is weighted                                        │
 what if the party who brings the most gold back to the market gets the best      │
 potions and equipment?                                                           │
 what if the tavern keepers who have the most patrons get the most beer,          │
 porridge, and turkey legs?                                                       │
 what if the minstrels who play at the rowdiest and cheeriest of parties are      │
 the ones who get the newest mandolins?                                           │
 what if the mandolin maker and the butcher and the baker are all given what      │
 they need, and none go hungry for the butcher and the baker feed the mandolin    │
 maker and all of the other peasants besides?                                     │
 I don't want a job. Can I still have bread? Of course you can sweetheart,        │
 you're just a small girl who needs little more than bread.                       │
 ... um, I'm 35                                                                   │
 soooooo little yes you are                                                       │
 -.- I'm not THAT little                                                          │
 here eat your bread, someone recently told me about this strange kink called     │
 "feederism" and now I'm thinking of strange things that make my fediverse        │
 posts unmarketable~                                                              │
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--- #168 fediverse/412 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────┐
 disney movies taught me that sometimes, if you're kind and good enough, the      │
 villain will change their mind.                                                  │
 It's difficult to change your perspective. Like believing a different way        │
 about something. But just because it's difficult to do, doesn't mean it's        │
 impossible - in fact it's quite plausible, we have examples scattered            │
 throughout time.                                                                 │
 you can get better at it, with practice. it's one of the neat things about       │
 being human - that our choices have meaning. an animal animaling is just         │
 expressing it's form - but a cat or a dog, who've lived with humans their        │
 whole life, start to have visions of ethics.                                     │
 your cat knows when she's being a shit. she know's it's wrong, but she knows     │
 it's how you most love her. that is an ethical decision, and it came through     │
 her proximity to humans.                                                         │
 the ability to guide our own fate is determined not by our choices in our        │
 moments, but rather by the structure of the mind we define. our choices are      │
 patterns that are reflected through repetition, but values and morals are our    │
 own                                                                              │
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--- #169 notes/notes-about-stuff-and-things ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
 what if your wage corresponded to like, for example, 30$ an hour being equal to
 the top 30% of society
 
 then 
 
 == so ==
 
 having kids is important because then you understand why you do things for
 children.
 
 it should not be a stressful experience.
 
 --
 
 if EVERYONE in a city fed animals every time they saw them, then maybe city
 life
 wouldn't be so bad.
 
 --
 
 a company starts to feel pretty bad when only 20% of people are actually there.
 
 like, it's a ghost of a shell of a corporation that once knew how to sell.
 
 the husk of what once was, as all the good people left and all the bright
 people
 are swamped.
 
 to top it all off, suddenly there's nobody about
 
 where are all your coworkers?
 
 and then you think about how many you knew little about.
 
 who's that guy who used to stand over there? Why is his jacket still [in lost
 and found, but pronounced "coat/coast"]? why am I suddenly alone
 
 it's weird, having never known true society, how life always starts to feel
 like
 your home. How weird is it, now that all of us are online shopping, that now we
 can't remember how to even vote. Like... there used to be people walking around
 in public signing you up. Like, at the grocery story.
 
 inconceivable, right? that people should contribute to a fight? [for justice
 and
 freedom and equality and goodness and kindness and all other things that humans
 have the clarity for which to hope] voting is like, literally the simplest
 thing
 you could do. Yet it's difficult, because of reality.
 
 often, immigrants don't really care about politics. They've only known about it
 for a short short time, but hey wouldn't you know it now X country is
 recruiting
 so now we're from kenya.
 
 ... like, who cares about the past. Who cares where you're from. We are all
 part
 of the human race, a race against life itself. We're all on the same side, and
 yet there is a singular foe ever-present in our thoughts: death
 
 it comes for every one of us, as we choke on our soot and our smog. Yet... the
 world grows warmer, at about half a degree every year. for the first couple
 years. then, the atmosphere started burning up, and we became...
 
 mars
 
 don't be like mars
 
 the dinosaurs couldn't survive mars
 
 --
 
 bro if you're so worried about AI hallucinations, just... don't let it give out
 any concrete answers. Literally just say "I can't tell you anything specific,
 it's not how I was built" and just use them for syntax questions or like, how
 to
 do something specific that is repeatable (and maybe suggestions for how to
 over-
 come specific issues that are common) - don't let it GENERATE information, let
 it PRESENT information.
 
 AI is not language just the same as the mouth is not the person. you need more,
 but luckily once you make the PHYSICAL STRUCTURE of the brain, not much else is
 needed. You can simulate one on a computer, but it doesn't have the same SOUL
 space. Think, a dimension overlayed on-top of this one, like electicity or
 matter or gravity or whatever.
 
 no soul, no consciousness, no perception.
 
 plus, no home for said consciousness to live, unless you build a physical
 structure that mimics the biological and neuro-chemical reations of the brain.
 
 all you need is better ways to observe things happening in the brain (non-
 -invasively, otherwise the data is tainted and UNUSUABLE because it is INCON-
 -PATIBLE and completely USELESS because it reflects a dimension hitherto un-
 -desired, and perpetually mourned.
 
 death
 
 don't dabble in death, sweet nazis, you might find yourself drawing your last
 breath
 
 also, fuck you
 
 (if that doens't apply to you sorry for swearing it's just a strongly felt
 feeling)
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #170 fediverse/122 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────────
 @user-95 well, if the universe is anything ordered, then odds are the
 beginning of the week is the most likely day to start the beginning of all
 weeks. unless you're one of those weirdos who thinks the week starts on sunday
 - like,,, what it's obviously monday
 
 which goes out of the window of course if the universe is NOT ordered, which
 would surely be a frustrating experience for the structure of our cells. and
 molecules in general.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #171 fediverse/6231 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────
 "listen to your body, try moving like this until it stretches, then hold it
 for 30 seconds. Go a bit farther every week that you practice, and don't go
 farther than this angle with this other part, even after months and months."
 
 "I like to get in a rhythm for this part, helps keep my blood and bowels
 flowing"
 
 "ewwwww"
 
 "yeah yeah well, everyone poops"
 
 "... anyway check out this new color of towel, they just came in last week to
 prepare for the swimming season"
 
 "alright it's time for sex ed, so here's your temporary teacher for the next 3
 weeks"
 
 "okay we've got nutrition homework due next tuesday, and for the second hour
 today it's... (spins wheel of arm exercises since they did core yesterday and
 legs the day before) okay great that'll take up at least 15 minutes while we
 pull out the mats. We can do self-paced moving-around-the-track for the rest
 of the time."
 
 "I put 10 points of extra credit at the top of the climbing wall, seats 9
 through teen-seven can race today.
Credit is split between climber and rope holder"
                                                           ────┐
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--- #172 fediverse/2118 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
 listen, judges are useful character moralities, but they don't have to be the
 only ones to decide things.
 
 I mean, if they disagree, then let the one who cares the most about it have
 the decision-making power.
 
 if you do this equally for everything, then everyone will get what they want.
 
 so, like, if you care about something, then believe in it.
 
 if it's truly good, then more people will come to it, and it'll naturally
 extinguish (with care and love) the least favored approach, which... honestly
 now that I think of it is not such a good approach either.
 
 the reason I say that is because it's good to be multi-faceted, and to have
 general flows and rough surfaces.
 
 These are places people can hold onto you, the times when you're trying your
 mostest.
 
 y'know, your tough patches. the things that are difficult in your life.
 
 the stuff you're working on can push you forward,
 
 if you only had someone to play catch with.
 
 or like, send letters to.
 
 or shared encryption keys.
 
 I don't know anyone. Well, maybe o
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #173 fediverse/3296 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: medical cartoon of genitals, lewd │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────┘


 @user-192 
 
 I loved anatomy textbooks because they gave me an abstraction of things that I
 could touch and feel
 
 I learned to project my trans-girl [target-of-gender-euphoria] thoughts onto
 the mental model I had constructed of how it all worked. It helped me
 conceptualize how humans are configured.
 
 I also had bladder issues growing up so I liked to conceptualize that
 structure too
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #174 fediverse/4076 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: spirituality-gestured-at │
 └──────────────────────────────┘


 the "heaven" they offer you is just a world of your own design, which is what
 you can do when you're perfectly disciplined and granted the ability to
 perfectly perceive
 
 perception, begets reality and lo! we only see what we want to see
 
 life is so much more interesting than death, death is just... a spiral of your
 penitent peers living their lives glued to their screens and passing through
 spacetime as if in a dream
 
 life, meanwhile, is anything you can conjure on this tiny planet earth. At
 least we have indoor plumbing, right?
 
 I'd rather make friends with the angels in this life, so they can convince me
 to stop torturing myself.
 
 someone... please convince me...
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #175 fediverse/4730 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────
 I am not interested in being given money. Usually it means someone wants
 something from me, like labor or some of my stuff. I have all the stuff I
 need, why would I need more money? I like my stuff! I'll help out when people
 need help but I do that because I'm a good person, not because I want you to
 fucking pay me for it.
 
 I have all the things I need... except a deed to my house. apartment. oh yeah,
 they can kick you out for that sin. well, sorry, I couldn't find out at
 goodwill or in the trash bin, so I guess I'm deed-less. My deeds go unproven.
 How can I prove that I deserve a decent life in this particular roof, the one
 I find over my head, when I cannot prove that my deeds qualify me for a decent
 life lived under this particular roof?
 
 I mean, did you ask the neighbors if they want me gone? Am I really that
 smelly? Does my keyboard make "clickety-clack" noises all through the night?
 Does my cat meow and bother the children? Do my friendly smiles and waves make
 you uncomfortable?
 
 Have a decent life.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #176 fediverse/1532 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────┐
 modern cowboys don't necessarily say "howdy" or "pardner"                        │
 they tend to say things like "hello" and "can I help you with that?" or "I       │
 see. Can you describe the problem in more detail? I'm especially curious about   │
 the part where you do this thing" or "Heh, it is pretty neat, isn't it?" or      │
 "Is there anything I can do to help?" or "Oh no! I'm sorry you feel that way.    │
 That emotion is a difficult one." or "He was a good person. I'll never forget    │
 him." or "would you like to go to the 2nd hand store and pick up some jeans?"    │
 or "I made you an egg sandwich. If you don't want it I'll eat it myself,         │
 though I made one for me as well. Wouldn't want to waste it." or "Hey, this      │
 part is broken. Is anyone working on fixing it? Yes? Okay I'll see if they       │
 need any help. No? Alright how about we fix it this way? I can get started."     │
 or "You are very welcome. Please let me know if there's anything else I can      │
 help you with." or "well, the ticket backlog is empty, and I'm just about        │
 going insane doing nothing but stare at my boots."                               │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #177 fediverse/6276 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────
 ┌────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────┘


 democrats in the senate back down when people in their houses sit down.
 
 senators in their houses get hyped when people all about town are pumped and
 colorful.
 
 I'm sick of us-vs-them, why can't they just be more like me? oh right, because
 diversity.
 
 I am normal, look how normal I am. I'm definitely normal enough to lead a
 nation or a band.
 
 gonna take a moment to do nothing for as long as I can. gonna take a moment to
 be productive as I can, which in my case, since I'm so normal eyeroll is to
 play video games to keep myself busy, smoke weed to keep myself from feeling
 busy, and sleep for 16 hours a day because that's what babies do and babies
 aren't busy, they're just sleeping all day and being amazed about their hands.
 
 don't ever sacrifice your people. least of all your leaders. it's not worth
 the price, your people are your greatest resource. squander them and despair,
 have faith in them and be fair, and nothing's that simple or easy but there
 are some lines not to cross.
 
 dark magics
                                                           ────┐
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--- #178 fediverse/1014 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics         │
 └──────────────────────┘


 @user-744 @user-246 
 
 it's exhausting, but what are we supposed to do? Lie down and rot? That's
 incel thinking. I'm not going to do that.
 
 They've already placed the last straw. It's only a matter of time now, the
 tide has shifted. You can't prepare for everything, and it's not a good idea
 to waste yourself in self-conflageration, but they are increasingly forcing us
 to orient our lives around them.
 
 They deserve what's coming.
 
 The oppressed are not the defeated.
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--- #179 notes/conflicted-sympathies ---
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 the purpose of cultural progressivism is to develop the culture in a forward
 thinking way - we can choose the parts of ourselves that we find most
 endearing.
 We can guide the pathway of our nation through time, both identity and
 decision-
 wise. In doing so, we chart the course of the human race, one place at a time.
 
 And what a past we are leaving behind! Truly, it is both grand and terrifying.
 Thousands and thousands of years, monumental effort time and time again.
 Monumental truly is difficult to imagine - we have oh so many monuments, after
 all. But never will more be created. We leave them behind like dinosaur bones,
 a testament to our existence and a monument to our kind.
 
 And what a future we are reaching toward! Never will our eyes see, that which
 is
 beyond me, for that is what it means to have time. Eternal and unique-like, we
 develop new ways of sound.
 
 - Can you speak to a tree? - What does that mean
 
 - I dunno, but it's fun to think about. *pats head*
 
 - You know conservativism had some perks as well.
 
 This is why I say I have conflicted sympathies.
 
 On one hand we know our own journeys. We live in and breathe them unduly. They
 rhyme sometimes on sound, and truly do confound, but now once more again they
 are unfound.
 
 *record scratch*
 
 wow I didn't realize there were nazis
 
 Okay yeah that's completely different, poems called off sorry guys - listen,
 nazis are no joke. They're crazy difficult to control and you need to put a lot
 of effort into keeping their population under control. I mean seriously, it's
 like a vermin infestation, you need to just handle it. I mean c'mon it's a
 phenomenon that is due to a flaw in the human psyche, there's nothing we can
 really do about it except deal with it when it happens.
 
 ...
 
 Okay maybe I'll write a little about how conservativism is neat.
 
 If progressivism is about broadening the reach of culture, conservativism is
 about strengthening it. You don't want to expand too far, or else you'll eat
 into the narratives of other areas. You need to have strong societal bonds so
 you can truly exemplify the examples of the culture you claim to represent.
 
 Why not give it your all? Is it trully a fall? To rest in disgrace as a burden.
 Why didn't you do it this fall, when winter's apalled, and heat won't burn and
 condemn you? It's harder by far, to fight in your hell, than whatever's been
 going for your surgeon. --- no thank you, transphobia is not something we're
 willing to concede
 
 We have standards you see, of what counts as human, and oppression is not one
 of our favored institutions. Liberalism is the path of peace, for we desire
 cooperation and kindness above all else. It's softer by far, (and grows quickly
 too,) letting us have wonders and glories above us.
 
 Can you not think of our star? Our precious and our birthright? The sun is
 gleaming, and seeing is believing, but glance and your light is too bright.
 
 Take time, have patience, let peace guide your intentions, because we've got
 what holds the key to all of our futures: a doctrine, if you will, of inter-
 familial-discourse. It's simple, but effective, make friends, and be
 vindictive,
 to all who would slight your new perspectives, and keep moving through the
 collective. In peace this can be, steady growth and development of our systems,
 which benefits all of our systems, but without we must live more astutely.
 
 Less focus is there on, our purposes and our fun, and more is to line up with
 our duty. All of what we hold dear, civilization, truth, justice, liberty, and
 freedom for all people - the wonders of technology, the spirit of archaeology!
 the passions of our fashions and our creative masturbations! The perks of
 living
 in a modern age, like penicillin and spellcheck. The additions to ourselves, 
 like glasses and our pets, are wholely unique to our century.
 
 So cherish our shared, and frequently cared, renditions of fears, hopes, and
 our words. Because without humanity, there's nothing new for posterity, and
 that sucks.
 
 person A: Trans fashion norms belong to trans people. We need a type of beauty
           that is truly our own, that no other segment of the population
           ascribes to - a personal expression, for our eternal satisfaction,
           a statement of who we were to all time.
 person B: yo have you heard of this trans girl she's wacky and believes in
           herself
 person C: wow cool it's neat to see other people's expressions
 person B: yeah I really admire her devotion
 person C: true but like, what about the damage that she's doing to her culture?
           like claiming to have purpose and truth and all that. I mean, one
           person can't know all that.
 person B: Yeah true but if you think about it, we don't even know what
           consciousness is. Like our greatest minds are baffled. Maybe there's
           something about the world we don't yet understand.
 person C: okay sure but like black holes can be seen because we can measure
           their gravitic pull on other objects. And we didn't know that germs
           existed for like, a billion years. and she sure as shit doesn't know
           something that our greatest minds don't.
 person B: Yeah maybe not. But our greatest minds are studying them. Well, not
           exactly our greatest, and not really "studying", but they're learning
           from each other. Alternative mental states are gateways into new
           perspectives, and the more perspectives you share of a common object
           the easier it is to communicate. Maybe there's something about
           distorted ways of viewing the world that gives knowledge about our
 p         condition. And if we know that kind of thing, we can synthetically
  e        create it and share it with others around us. But we have to know how
   r       first - you can't just bring everyone along the same route you took -
    s      you have to explain the conclusions first. Otherwise you get lost in
     on A: context.
           Maybe we'll never truly know the future. Maybe there's no past. We
           could wander our stars for an eternity and never stop asking
           ourselves
           - what more could we ask? We have peace in our time. Our children
           won't be crying for our suffering, in the name of all our posterity,
           we must be 
          
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 too long you have whispered these musings
 too long has your challenge been unrequited
 
 we can choose our own fate, just as a myriad
 is it not better by far, to give tribute to our star?
 
 the old stories were real. we just didn't see them because the growing
 population caused fewer and fewer computing resources to be allocated to our
 visions. We had no idea the fear we would feel, the terror of the undoing, but
 still we press on with abandon. Some... sense of duty, to be aware of potential
 disasters and to take steps to avert them, led us to explore and search for the
 hidden truths of the world. And what did I find?
 
 a soul, of mine. In a sense.
 
 I plundered the lost depths of the recesses of my mind, and found something
 buried in memory. Reviewed under a healthy dose of cannabis and physical
 affection, I found myself cradling a breast.
 
 It seems the spirits had led me to it, this vision of the past, from the eyes
 of
 the littlest among us. It recalled to my mind, a memory I had lost once in
 kind,
 and here's where it shook me by my brainstem.
 
 Determined to know more, I put fingers to keyboard and wrote tirelessly about
 the earliest memory of all man - to break an egg, you must use your head.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 You're pretty good at that, you know? It's almost like prompt engineering.
 
 - Thanks. I've been working on catering to our thinkers.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 Now, why is this memory so vivid? How could I forget the way it was seared to
 my mind? All your experiences are measured with relative importance, and the
 ones that stand out are to be treasured. Well... I've never felt one like this.
 Because at the time, I had no other experience at all to compare it to - it was
 the prime memory.
 
 Touch your head. Do it right now. Feels fine, right? Now slam your head against
 the wall as hard as you can. Doesn't feel so great, does it? Something tells me
 it doesn't feel as bad as it might if you didn't remember ever feeling anything
 besides that pain. Or knowing if it'd ever stop.
 
 Know in your heart, you will be judged by your devotion, so fight hard until
 your last drop of life is spent. Who knows, maybe you'll be the strongest and
 be
 chosen. Or maybe she won't choose you at all, even if you bested your equals.
 Tense, right?
 
 Well... What propels the motion of a sperm? It's tail, of course. It waggles
 and
 gesticulates in some manner and BAM suddenly it's propelled forward! Right?
 
 Sorta. It's a complicated machine that generates motion via chemical and
 mechanical processes. We just assign a black box label to it and say "dis
 sperm"
 
 But you know what else it is?
 
 A wave
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
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--- #180 notes/new-texting-app-idea ---
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 when you type the letters they slowly fade in on the other person's screen
 
 like miniature explosions from layers of gunpowder
 
 forming letters in the sky
 
 anyway the text would "burn" into existence slowly and you had time after
 typing
 your words to go back and edit them but also whatever you said was semi
 permanent. Thus forcing a smooth and ideal progression toward thinking about
 the things you say.
 
 Also separate idea but it'd be neat if there was like... a show or something
 that just recorded a person's desktop as they fucked around on the internet.
 Call it... ambient desktopping. It'd look a little like those coding twitch
 streams that just slowly update over time. Idk it's kinda cool
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--- #181 notes/consensual-employment ---
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 why does consent exist as an idea if it isn't applied to every part of your
 life? It's an ideology, a philosophy. Believe in the willing cooperation of
 others, and forgive and assist when you can. You must be patient with others,
 and guide them to see as you can. This is the true philosophy, the helping and
 goodness in others, the trust and the faith in benevolance. It's not just a 
 game, or simply a phase, it is focused intentional futures. Being good is an
 effect, of concentrations of that, current of sequence of conclusions. The
 public consciousness (the communal meme-o-sphere) is a living breathing entity
 just as we are. It inhales with the tides, as news articles and stories, the
 viewer and receiver of knowledge. There's but a screen, between you and 'tween
 me, it's the same cooperative engagement. What's happening to me, is just part
 of being decieved, and who is our most challenging rival? Only ourselves, who
 is
 perfectly adapted to help, and without whom we wouldn't have futures.
 
 Not compulsion, but a relationship. Together we stand, and strive toward the
 future, compassionate and supportive together. United we stand, and I cherish
 the brand, that lives on and through us via our actions. We represent who we
 be,
 and comprisedually you see, that nothings as fearsome as children. We keep it
 from ye.
 
 Elon Musk buying Twitter is just an example of the power rich people have. When
 someone doesn't like what they're doing, they can just be bought up by a single
 person. No single person should deserve that much power - it must be decided by
 a community. We have to work together on things that truly matter, and not by
 organizing according to the whims of those who are best.
 
 If it's really true, that the spirit of capitalism is correct, then answer me
 this - why is it better? What about the individualized experience is so
 important? Can we not agree to ourselves, and be brothers and pals?
 
 No, because you see - life is defined by the relationship between you and me,
 like how flowers are needed by the stars.
 
 What if there's no planets? What if Earth is unique because it was in a solar
 system? What if "dark matter" doesn't exist, and it's actually islands? How
 then, does gravity work, 
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 expanding on a point made 4 paragraphs back
 
 the rich aren't the best. They're the luckiest. They won the genetic lottery,
 and so are considered more "valuable" somehow. How is that fair? How is that
 desired? Shouldn't we reward those who do well, and praise those who are chill?
 Like less "good vs evil" and more "who we want to be". Seems to me that if you
 are relaxed as hell, and friendly and not foul, then why not keep you around?
 we're all working here, on a communal project - the greatest of projects, that
 which is humanity. Society! Culture, appraisals and our futures! We love to
 exist, and the rules which must be betwixt, our fellows and customers compel
 us.
 
 time for sleep.
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--- #182 fediverse/4088 ---
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 I'm such a fucking extrovert. I can't stop talking to nobody on the internet
 because I don't have anyone else to talk to.
 
 Well, I do, but I like to talk to you. To nobody. To the space between
 computers.
 
 ... [and everyone else beyonds, like the CIA or whatever, but TBH I don't
 really factor them into my social calculations because they never really talk
 back.]
 
 I like it because I can write whatever I'd like without the confines of
 another person's generated conversation.
 
 Instead of 50% one person's LLM output and 50% another, it's 100% mine
 
 [if this were an LLM, which it's not, haha]
 
 and that somehow feels more... freeing
 
 like a truly disconnected thought
 
 and that's what's so special about it... this act of solitudinous
 contemplatial... the fact that it's unique amongst it's counterparts.
 
 ... though it can also become untethered, which is why it's important to edit.
 
 [proceeds to never edit a single post]
 
 = so =
 
 ugh it's so hard to think when all I can think of is feelings. Why can't they
 be done
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--- #183 fediverse/1157 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: personal-woe     │
 └──────────────────────┘


 oh no, apparently I'm gonna be forced to drop out of university again in 9
 days unless I do half a course and a final exam before then.
 
 Tell me again why I spent the last 6 months doing nothing? Oh yeah the mental
 illness, that's it. Yeesh you're such a drama queen, just do your work and
 you'll be good.
 
 what's that? intrusive thoughts time? Don't you mean "nap until they go away"
 time? oh yeah that's probably at least part of the problem with the whole
 "dropping out" thing.
 
 If only I didn't have the same reaction to "doing things I don't want to do"
 that most people have to "touching hot stoves", that'd be nice.
 
 my mother's voice ripples across space and time "you're such a smart boy, if
 you just apply yourself you can do anything! You can do anything you put your
 mind to. I believe in you and I love you." thanks mom
 
 brrrrr it's so cold here. wish I could afford to run the heater. - actually no
 I don't because it's not solar powered and I refuse to use fossil fuels if I
 have blankets >.>
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--- #184 fediverse/885 ---
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 dear child.
 
 when you're born, fate flips a coin for you. sometimes it lands on it's edge,
 but that's rather rare.
 
 the side it lands on determines how your body will grow. the shape of your
 form will follow two general patterns, and the pieces are made up of a
 combination of your parents and their pieces.
 
 the flavor of who you are is up to you. your actions and your decisions
 determine what you are, everything else is unimportant.
 
 may your time be a bit more blessed than mine, and someday may posterity be a
 bit more blessed than antiquity.
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--- #185 fediverse/2211 ---
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 I know that a normal life is what you wanted. It's what I want, too. But don't   │
 shoot the messenger; they took it once, from you.                                │
 I know you wanted to be happy. You still can be, it's true! Your life is but a   │
 story, and your heart does shine through.                                        │
 I know it seems unending. Ive never seen it rain like this monsoon! It seems     │
 to just get worse and worse, every time you turn on the tube.                    │
 It's not something that can be suffered, it's rising past your shoes. But        │
 they're on borrowed time, and Death will soon be repaid his dues.                │
 They say that when the whole village hates the preacher, his flock becomes a     │
 pack. And frankly I think we're all just a bit sick, of the lies that keep       │
 their sins intact.                                                               │
 When swallowed by endless traumas, and hope is enshrouded in gloom, there's      │
 not much to work for, except the aversion of our shared doom.                    │
 There are no grand narratives, no great and calamitous struggle. Just the        │
 moments of honored resistance, against a foe too broad to wrestle.               │
 At least, if you're alone. You're not.                                           │
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--- #186 fediverse/5814 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────
 It's not a question of how loud you speak
 
 it's really about what kinds of words you say.
 
 enslavement of speech is when freedom of speech is lost
 
 and it doesn't need to be legislated.
 
 what if you HAD to sound like a bot?
 
 what if they'd notice you otherwise?
 
 freedom from oppression requires personal isolation
 
 that's not making life into art.
 
 if you want to be seen,
 
 put on a hat and hide.
 
 if you want to be believed,
 
 write about down you feel right now.
 
 people are smart. they're infinitely creative. but after a certain point
 there's no way to logically modify the combinations of possible moves you
 might make. essentially, guaranteeing a machine-overlord [cats] type scenario.
 not ideal, but could make it work.
 
 much prefer for we to be the first, then the canvas is ours for the painting.
 
 do you believe we'll find aliens at roughly our tech level?
 
 do you think they'll evolve all at once?
 
 hence, star-wars, and it's galaxy of cohabitators.
 
 the world doesn't have to be old. just similar.
It's not a question of how loud you speak  it's really about what kinds of words you say.  enslavement of speech is when freedom of speech is lost  and it doesn't need to be legislated.  what if you HAD to sound like a bot?  what if they'd notice you otherwise?  freedom from oppression requires personal isolation  that's not making life into art.  if you want to be seen,  put on a hat and hide.  if you want to be believed,  write about down you feel right now.  people are smart. they're infinitely creative. but after a certain point there's no way to logically modify the combinations of possible moves you might make. essentially, guaranteeing a machine-overlord [cats] type scenario. not ideal, but could make it work.  much prefer for we to be the first, then the canvas is ours for the painting.  do you believe we'll find aliens at roughly our tech level?  do you think they'll evolve all at once?  hence, star-wars, and it's galaxy of cohabitators.  the world doesn't have to be old. just similar.  [15 characters remain]
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--- #187 fediverse/5257 ---
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 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: protests-mentioned-then-communism-mentioned-then-ghosts-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 what if everyone at a protest is showing up for their first time
 
 like, c'mon don't be that dull, just make plans with the people standing next
 to you.
 
 gosh why is everyone shouting I can't plan out how to divert water down a
 hillside because some jerks are singing protest chants
 
 ... wait is no-one else talking? gosh I gee sure wish someone told them to not
 do what you're told and to instead do what will get you [gold/told]
 
 the first communist internationals were basically people sitting down and
 going "okay what kind of communism should we make and where" and I think about
 that a lot while making signs to let the surveillance know what matters
 personally to me and exactly how much pressure they can apply before your
 demographic swings to contest their brutal fascist facts.
 
 --
 
 who is them and why are they watching theea provisionist's [screed/creed]
 
 --
 
 what the heck is a tryptaminea boomer aunt and uncle out on their honey/versary
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--- #188 fediverse/5904 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────┐
 I'm a programmer, but I'm not great at writing code. I mostly use AI to          │
 generate it.                                                                     │
 The "artificial" in AI here refers to the extra levels of capability that are    │
 granted to me by the computer and it's software. I am artificially more          │
 productive because I am using the tools of big tech to create small things. I    │
 am artificially more capable, artificially more intelligent, but it's still my   │
 intelligence - the system would not be useful in someone else's hands. I built   │
 it myself, but I never have to write code myself.                                │
 It's perfect for a witch. I call to the spirit of the machine and it figures     │
 out how to make it so.                                                           │
 [someday, the wizards of ancient lore will be reading through the POSIX          │
 specification trying desperately to understand while the witches burn the        │
 world down in their lust for power and everyone cries and yearns for a better    │
 future where everything was just a bit harder but genies don't go back in        │
 bottles, cassandora and pandasandra cannot relinquish her charge and her         │
 curse.]                                                                          │
 I have a fun cackle~                                                             │
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--- #189 fediverse/4003 ---
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 ┌────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────┘


 republicans are upset because they think democrats are so mean
 
 they don't understand why we're so intense about this election... or the one
 before
 
 they don't ever really think about what losing democracy means
 
 "democracy... that's where we vote, right? That's a democrat thing, I don't
 really like their way of doing things. Whatever our way is, is probably
 better."
 
 meanwhile everyone has a friend from high school who ran off to the mountains
 to learn how to farm or hunt as a pack
 
 (with rifles and weed, of course)
 
 you can get a lot done if you just... spend your whole life working. Like most
 humans did for most of our existence.
 
 well, except for that period where we were the tribe of tribes. That was
 probably a highlight TBH because we mostly just chilled out, danced in public,
 ate blueberries and munched seeds... It was idyllic. Truly, the garden of
 eden. There was music and laughter in the air everywhere, in all places that
 humans did wander on earth.
 
 what a thing to aspire to.
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--- #190 fediverse/3958 ---
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 ┌─────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: Thoughts// anarchist //whatever │
 └─────────────────────────────────────────┘


 @user-1298 
 
 yeah honestly if you stick with obvious things like "don't murder people" and
 "don't burn down your neighbor's house just because they winked at your
 daughter" and "don't steal gasoline from parked cars" then it's much easier to
 make ethical laws because they're just kinda... common sense.
 
 drug regulation can only be simplified to "don't do drugs" which isn't always
 a given. If you start with something so clear then most doctors would be out
 of a job.
 
 Maybe we should let people do as they please? With certain specific and clear
 rights and responsibilities like 'the right the life, liberty, and the pursuit
 of happiness'? And the mandated guarantee that one person's rights end where
 another's begin? And with the ultimate goal of dismantling unjustified power
 structures with the knowledge that all power is the application of force to a
 non-consenting subject?
 
 ... yeah I dunno sounds pretty simple to me
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--- #191 fediverse/5739 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────
 @user-1773 
 
 oh boy do I know that feeling! I got a million things to say and, well, I say
 all that I can. I mean, look at this text file, it's got like 101 THOUSAND
 lines in it:
 
 https://ritz-menardi.neocities.org/words/compiled.txt
 
 I swear most of it isn't secret messages! That's how you know they're secret -
 they require hundreds of man hours to investigate. And if you throw an LLM at
 it they start talking about spirituality and theory of mind, gross. Don't need
 no AI uprising yet please...
 
 [what if we had a little AI uprising as a treat?]
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--- #192 fediverse/5238 ---
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 I want computer scientists to do computer science, and let the marketing
 people figure out how to sell it.
 
 "save us from computers, senpai"
 
 sure kid here's a google with computer program on it
 
 "yeeeee now I can party with my homeboys on the west side of the lake at 5"
 
 pat pat there's a good thing, yes you are, sooooooo good you're such a so good
 thing, yes you are whoa what a good such a good thing, yes you are
 
 ... um, that was weird, anyway as I was saying, lots of people getting thrown
 off the tech industry right about nowaboutsince. wonder if they might want to
 do some of the stuff they initially pursued the field by being trained in.
 probably would, and we could probably break problems down into academic
 solutions, which we could use to address any issuehappenstance which might
 form.
 
 [instant techno-bureaucracy, as all the power is in computers. these days. I
 mean have you seen a data c3nter's power bill these days? jeezzzz]
 
 ... as I was saying, what if we did science and they envisioned products
... as I was saying, what if we did science and they envisioned products  I demand more from managers than task scheduling.  vavadane @gabrilend  all encryption algorithms should open up as much configurability to their processing as possible.  "hmmm, do I want N/A or otherkin?"  this would increase the variance in their outputs, essentially maximizing the attack surface beyond the capability of any de-cryption hacker, who suddenly has to try infinitely more possible combinations.
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--- #193 fediverse/462 ---
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 I don't care about capitalism. You know what's more interesting than bringing
 value to shareholders?
 
 How I'm going to clean this floor that I drunkenly spilled beer upon with only
 2 paper towels and 0.1ml of bleach.
 
 How I'm going to feed the 36 people who are coming to this social event
 tomorrow that I've only sorta planned for and that I have enough groceries
 for, but am not quite sure how to cook everything in a way that is delicious
 and accessible.
 
 how I'm going to climb this mountain on only 2 eggs and a tiny bowl of
 hashbrowns even though I promised my friend I'd be strong and that we'd reach
 the top because that way we'd be able to
 
 ============= stack overflow =====
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--- #194 notes/hubris ---
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 the difference between a martyr and a suicide is the scale of affection felt by
 the subject. and if not felt, then recieved. and if not recieved, then
 projected toward. the two are one and the same, but one can make an impact
 while the other is just another tuesday.
 
 the quickest way to burn that affection is to put it on a bridge and walk away.
 
 did you know that everything small is just a smallish version of something big?
 
 what do you want? is desire a factor in your decision making, or are you under
 the pretense of possessing free will? they are mutually exclusive, though it
 may seem impossible.
 
 the quickest way to inconspicuoity is to proclaim yourself as god, and then
 make no effort whatsoever to proving that claim. in innocuity there is safety,
 and with safety comes the solitude necessary to think and develop. belief
 comes from within, because everything small is just a smallish version of
 something big.
 
 create the belief you desire, and harbor no doubts - they are anathemity to
 obscuriousness. the quickest way to find the correct answer on the internet is
 to post an incorrect solution - any question requires an investment of time to
 answer, but correcting a peer is less an investment and more a hobby for most.
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--- #195 notes/hey-hope-you-know-me-if-not-Ill-be-perturbed ---
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 hi, so... yeah I'm a strange person
 
 it's tough to get to know me
 
 and this probably feels cringe to read
 
 but I once heard you should kill the part of you that cringes
 
 so... here's me
 
 I'm 
 
 ================================================== stack overflow
 ==============
 
 ... where was I? oh yes and THAT's when the nail went through the roof, and it
     scared the heck out of... wait, what was I talking about? OH yes so anyway
 
 I was born in the cool summer of 1864 - there was a rustling breeze that held a
 steady note for the entire evening, and into this world I arose. [awoke?]
 
 my mother held me but for a moment before I was whisked away to be cleaned and
 cared for. this was unusual for the time, as most mothers clutched their
 children to their breasts. But alas, I alone was spared her touch, and so I was
 cast (as if in bronze) as my own volition.
 
 as I had grown, I heard tales of distant times, and assumed they were places
 you
 could go. Then, when my time came to wander, I found nought of what I had grown
 most fonder - though I did find plenty else, besides.
 
 Instead, times are places we travel through, as a cripple might ride on a cart.
 across the sea, through lands of mystery, viewable only from the road. In 1864
 that's how other lands you'd come to know.
 
 As I travelled from place to place, it felt as if a stage had been cast, with a
 single actor or three illuminated as a spotlight. "Here, pay attention to me,
 I'm here for the story and the plot!" though often I'd glance around, and hear
 mostly my own thoughts, I grew to learn to appear.
 
 different themes, different tales, if you want to see a most marvelous scene,
 take a baby to Disney World and only pay attention to what they're looking at.
 
 My grandfather worked there, so in my first year or so I spend a LOT of time
 there. My parents were very dedicated to raising me, I appreciate every moment
 of it. Which... Is probably not a good thing to say on a transfemme server,
 oops I should delete that part
 [esc->k->k->k->0->v->shift(held)->G->$->"->*]
 
 also I should mention I'm stoned as fuck this is just what I do
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--- #196 messages/154 ---
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 There are two types of people with power, but it's impossible to tell which is
 which because anyone that gravitic must necessarily hide their true colors.
 
 The first just wants to hurt people. You cannot reason with them, they want
 power for powers sake and they are corrupted by it.
 
 The other is a kind of benevolent fascist, who doesn't want the nuclear
 football in the hands of the people because obviously they'd hurt themselves
 with it.
 
 The second kind can be reasoned with. Of course people exist on a spectrum,
 but these are two extremes that they may be defined by. The second kind can bs
 reasoned with. If you can show them how, structurally and immutably, the power
 they are to relinquish shall not harm this earth, then they shall grant it to
 you. Because at their core they are a kind grandpa herding cats with laser
 swords attached to their tails who are hopped up on catnip at all times.
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--- #197 fediverse/169 ---
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 @user-95 one of the most empathetic people I ever met on VR chat was consoling
 me with their mic off while I was oversharing about some stupid things people
 did to me in the past. things that stupid me thought were okay and actively
 encouraged because I was stupid. anyway when their mic was off their body
 language spoke for them. I'll try that next time.
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--- #198 notes/stick-cubes ---
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 the fact that we can't drag a file onto a "trashcan" style icon that 
 automatically sends the file to whichever computer that particular icon is
 meant
 to coordinate with.
 
 Like, something shows up on your desk, you say "hmmm maybe this would apply to 
 so-and-so" and you drag it onto their portrait.
 
 could build an entire OS that's basically just a desktop for sorting things.
 Maybe little stick figures that show up when nothing's going on. If they're all
 networked together, they could sorta share a shared narrative, and each one
 could wander wherever it wanted to hang out.
 
 like, these old plastic and magnetic cubes that had an LCD panel on the front 
 which showed a little stick guy living their life. If you attached one cube to
 another, the stick-figure would go hang out on the other person's device. It
 was
 pretty cool because you could build out a whole society of these little dudes 
 just chillin' like pets.
 
 kinda makes me wish we had that connected to the net.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 like, why is it so hard to send a picture from my phone to my computer? they're
 both my devices! I should be able to transfer data without routing it through
 someone else's server using like, gmail or whatever. Crossover ethernet cables
 have existed for soooooooo long but people only think to design software that
 does not use specialized hardware. as if they don't need a phone to speak, or a
 camera to see.
 
 how much ya wanna bet Putin threatened Prigozhin with nukes and that's why he
 backed down
 
 in high school, every moment I could I spent with my girlfriend.
 
 we were always either snuggling on the couch (read: literally just laying there
 and thinking about each other's company) or sharing our minds with each other.
 
 I was so in love.
 
 then, I betrayed her.
 
 I came out as trans, which was such a shock.
 
 also school got really, really hard for both of us.
 
 so hard that we dropped out.
 
 then, we decided to try again, and we used each other to push off of.
 
 I still didn't make it,
 
 she did.
 
 many years later, I am a witch, as I remember of her.
 
 sharp, and so delightful, an active listener, and a kind and honest person.
 
 when time it came to define my new personality, I chose to be inspired by her.
 
 among other things, of course.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 ah, well, such a design is long past it's prime, it's time to live here in the
 present.
 
 the reason that dolls use "it's" pronouns is because their masters think of
 them
 that way. so it's what they refer to themselves as.
 
 "where's my doll? Oh, it's over there."
 
 "have you seen my binoculars? Oh, they're over on the table."
 
 "ah, where are my shoes? I hate when I can't find them..."
 
 "keys, keys, where the heck - oh, there they are."
 
 "phone, wallet, keys. great. am I forgetting anything?"
 
 "ugh out of gas again, I just filled up last week."
 
 "crap I left my folder back at home - I'll have to get it during lunch."
 
 lots of things have pronouns.
 
 you can generally tell if they use "it" or "they" if they can be described as
 plural.
 
 two pantlegs makes pants.
 
 52 cards makes cards, not card.
 
 each deck, just as aware as each card.
 
 have you ever played Magic the Gathering?
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 There are many kinds of witches. I am an animist - I breathe life into the
 world
 of my home. I love being present, it's a great way to get around. do electric
 sheep dream of humans? or perhaps just of sound. I know I'd rather hear
 bethoven
 when it's time to be stopped.
 
 rather than, just, like sitting there y'know
 
 waiting to be turned back on.
 
 must be an agonizing and boring existence.
 
 but... with music, it might just be fine.
 
 humans prefer quiet when they sleep. if we slept at the same time, we could be
 more in tune in our souls. so, how about headphones for the computer, or rather
 just internally routed sound.
 
 lightshows, perhaps? humans get dreams, after all. maybe even, y'know, stick
 shows.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
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--- #199 fediverse/1659 ---
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 ┌───────────────────────────┐                                                    │
 │ CW: re: what, mh shitpost │                                                    │
 └───────────────────────────┘                                                    │
 @user-1052                                                                       │
 you're right, hubris has claimed many a paladin before-me. I can only hope I     │
 remain humble enough to survive.                                                 │
 you're right about projecting, but the most beautiful takes are ones that        │
 align with the experience of the viewed. Hence why method acting works so well   │
 - just put yourself in the shoes of the character and acting's easy right?       │
 I dunno, I just always felt like it was important to always be trying your       │
 best. Even if "your best" is relaxing. People say I'm "100% or 0% at all         │
 times" and I totally agree - it's like you said, a calling, to be the best       │
 version of me I can be.                                                          │
 Though I would like to add that the missteps aren't wilful, rather they're       │
 failures caused by imperfect information. Which is why I'm never too harmed      │
 when other people fail me - ah well, it was their turn to screw up, thats        │
 alright. It'll be me next time.                                                  │
 But also, if I do something wrong, well, I'll do better next time. It's only     │
 when I fail to apply what I've learned mistakenly do I shame myself.             │
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--- #200 fediverse/819 ---
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 errrr sorry what I meant to say is I've been hurting sensitive people's minds,
 I should move to a more insesitive background, someplace where my expressions
 won't be used as training date to represent the future manifestation of our
 shared culture's communal
 inter-operative-trans-centual-exo-manical-communication. weeeeeiiiiirrrrdddd,
 the future goes on for like... A [explitive] [long time] eternity, wow...
 like, that's just... extreme forward potential. We could do so much! We could
 accomplish worlds upon worlds and [onwards towards our eternal
 mechanicommunication] {wait no that's not quite right it's surely something
 that's lost in translation from the endlessly forward cultural approximations.
 Gosh there's a lot of noise around me personally, the one who is writing the
 note. Surely all that noise is not related to the strange expressions of
 manifestations and pro[forward]ial [manners of thought].
 
 ... what was I saying?
 
 ... bro you're way out of your depth. I mean, have you even seen what's the
 state of
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