=== ANCHOR POEM ===
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┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: cursed │
└──────────────────────┘
wait shit I forgot I was
then I remembered because I thought ""
and I decided I kinda liked
"don't forget me?" whatshername said
i'm in ruins, 121 guns. ha, like I'd plan for defeat! at least defeat plans in
motion, so you don't have to put aside time to prepare for it.
so glad that the world goes on turning, with or without me. not that I'm going
anywhere, at least, I don't plan to. And hey, I've already made a plan or two,
could make more if you asked [redacted]-kun, desunai or something I'm not an
anime girl
when you remember the meaning of time, you'll remember the meaning of life.
how tragic she screams with bitter praise, how manic she dreams with both of
her eyes.
listen, I'm sorry if I broke any spirits. Either they needed to break or maybe
I'm just a peril. frankly I think I'm kinda neat, which... could go both ways.
... listen, I'll worship cock if you ask me to. I'm not above flattery, and
just because mine's in a different shape doesn't mean I don't love it. Quite
the opposite.
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=== SIMILARITY RANKED ===
--- #1 fediverse/5512 ---
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I never give up
I'm just waiting my turn
"laughs nervously"
so, uh, why dontchya'll go first yeah I've already gone first and I'll do it
again but it'd be cool if I had people going first with me sometime
"girl all you do is walk around and talk about how you bought your hat on the
internet four or so years ago"
T.T what else do you want from me I'm not a mastermind I'm a designer there's
a difference T.T
"didn't you volunteer to be a leader last year"
oh, yeah, well leaders are more than just "the ones who go first" they're also
the spiritual and emotional guiders that keep things on track once everyone
can talk about things other than their hats
... fuck I want to talk about things besides my hat. I always think of
something awesome to say just as I'm rounding the bend, and whenever I peer
back around again they're never around. Rats.
"what are you even asking for"
I don't know?? Does it matter if the horse and the bishop both take the same
square if they're claimed themselves in the end? ...wat
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--- #2 fediverse/1200 ---
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║ ┌─────────────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: re: deranged, murderous │ │
║ └─────────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ @user-883 │
║ │
║ omgggggg I'm not that cruel xD xD xD │
║ │
║ It's more like, "hey listen, I know you just want to do a good job [lies, they │
║ just want money and power] but it's time to hang up the hat y'know? I mean │
║ cmon it's been like a hundred years since we signed that constitution thing │
║ [you don't know anything about our history] and frankly it's a little out of │
║ style. We were thinking we'd redo it with our new-fangled rock-and-roll and │
║ dungeons-and-dragons [cultural artifacts meant to deceive and mislead] and │
║ honestly we're quite a bit more ethical than the past. We've learned so much! │
║ I mean, the founding fathers didn't even know what a soviet was, and here │
║ we've seen them fall on their swords. Repeatedly. Then command others to do it │
║ too, because it was the regulation or whatever. Anyway we don't want that, but │
║ we also don't want an aristocracy, which is essentially what your plan gave │
║ us. Well, not really your plan, but instead the stuff that the rich added │
║ centuries after your death. ok?" │
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--- #3 notes/the-old-internet ---
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11 21
you know what i miss the most about the old internet?
the feeling you get when you wonder "i wonder what ______ is up to?" and you go
to their website and find out. there's a feeling that's lost when everything is
delivered to you by algorithms. it because a compulsion, a slavery, when we
don't utilize our compassion. remembering a friend? never again. you've only
got what has been chosen. what if they post a lot? well, that means nothing -
you are only guaranteed who they want you to see, and whatever it means to be
beholden.
so what if it's free? of course time is money! and what is our most treasured
potential? if guided we can be, (as seen on tv), then what if we're only
ennuid? have you ever considered, you've meddling and persevered, against all
our suggestions and hopes? you're singing a tune, of that of a loon, so no-one
will ever give purchase.
heh, is that all? anime protagonist or saul? ... are you trying to categorize
me ? ? ? its okay if you are, i seriously don't mind. I just want it to be
something consensual. We're humans after all, like all of our all, and we don't
want to convey lost potential.
our time is now nigh, we're welcome to die, but our sunken cost is too great to
ignore. we are the progenitors of the human race, the foremost of our kind, and
onward we march to the future! and then there's you. who are you to claim to be
among us? who are you to say it must be so? you've nothing of my journey, my
trials and my tourneys, so what if i peaked when i was 12? a master of my fate,
complaining about her weight, it's not much to be my own savior. much rather
i'd rather to savour, that foremost of prayers, to harken upon my conveyals.
trust and you'll see, all is not yet to be, there's hope in the future of our
foremost
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--- #4 fediverse/4655 ---
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║ sleep? yes. play? nah. work? yes. fae? nah. well, maybe, I don't know. │
║ │
║ one year is all it takes to change history. and, like, I think we should │
║ remember past history, but tomorrow is herstory, because that way each one │
║ gets half of the timeline. future, past, etc. too bad herstory doesn't roll │
║ off the tongue... shestory? │
║ │
║ It's gonna get better before it gets done, and it'll get done until we're │
║ done. but, that's for tomorrow, or the next day, or the next, or in a week or │
║ two, who can say. Not I, surely not I, and I surely wouldn't want to. You need │
║ consent for that kind of thing, a clear commitment that me and my are ready │
║ and in line. I'm just a silly witch after all, who would look to the girl with │
║ the tall red pointy witch hat and go "oh yeah she probably knows exactly │
║ what's up" because like, I don't, I'm definitely just coincidencing my way │
║ through life and seeing where my feet lead me. Gosh I hope I get some │
║ sick-as-heck callouses my feet kinda hurt for some reason. │
║ │
║ ... sleep, this is a sleep spell... │
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--- #5 fediverse/4273 ---
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║ Some of my most wanderful times were when I lived in a gated community. │
║ │
║ My parents were dumb, and thought, as most people thought, that harm to a │
║ child can only come from outside of the community. │
║ │
║ But they fell for the lies of property, where "community" means less of "a │
║ group of people who cares and tends for one another" the kind of which my │
║ parents had never truly known, and more like "this particular residential area │
║ on the map" │
║ │
║ which means I could walk around in this gated "community" where the gates are │
║ little more than security theatre for anyone who says "Hi I got a pizza here │
║ for this address which I found on google maps" or "hey I left my sweatshirt at │
║ my sister's house and it has my phone in it, ummmm no I don't remember which │
║ number her house is, nor do I remember her last name" │
║ │
║ in those times, I developed a sense of freedom, caged as I was, that for most │
║ comes much later in their time. │
║ │
║ Some o my favorite places were part of the golf course next door, where I │
║ found a nigh endless river delta. │
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--- #6 notes/hey-hope-you-know-me-if-not-Ill-be-perturbed ---
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hi, so... yeah I'm a strange person
it's tough to get to know me
and this probably feels cringe to read
but I once heard you should kill the part of you that cringes
so... here's me
I'm
================================================== stack overflow
==============
... where was I? oh yes and THAT's when the nail went through the roof, and it
scared the heck out of... wait, what was I talking about? OH yes so anyway
I was born in the cool summer of 1864 - there was a rustling breeze that held a
steady note for the entire evening, and into this world I arose. [awoke?]
my mother held me but for a moment before I was whisked away to be cleaned and
cared for. this was unusual for the time, as most mothers clutched their
children to their breasts. But alas, I alone was spared her touch, and so I was
cast (as if in bronze) as my own volition.
as I had grown, I heard tales of distant times, and assumed they were places
you
could go. Then, when my time came to wander, I found nought of what I had grown
most fonder - though I did find plenty else, besides.
Instead, times are places we travel through, as a cripple might ride on a cart.
across the sea, through lands of mystery, viewable only from the road. In 1864
that's how other lands you'd come to know.
As I travelled from place to place, it felt as if a stage had been cast, with a
single actor or three illuminated as a spotlight. "Here, pay attention to me,
I'm here for the story and the plot!" though often I'd glance around, and hear
mostly my own thoughts, I grew to learn to appear.
different themes, different tales, if you want to see a most marvelous scene,
take a baby to Disney World and only pay attention to what they're looking at.
My grandfather worked there, so in my first year or so I spend a LOT of time
there. My parents were very dedicated to raising me, I appreciate every moment
of it. Which... Is probably not a good thing to say on a transfemme server,
oops I should delete that part
[esc->k->k->k->0->v->shift(held)->G->$->"->*]
also I should mention I'm stoned as fuck this is just what I do
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--- #7 fediverse/4200 ---
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│ CW: drugs-mentioned │
└──────────────────────┘
"doing too many drugs" is a traitorous act, abusive really, to your past self,
and their hopes and dreams.
or maybe your past self owes you a debt, for they never thought to think of
you. What are you to aspire to if not the dreams of your past?
and now you're here. wherever "here" is here...
...
... wait, you wanted me to talk? it's now! It's the present!
ah nevermind. you were twelve years old when you first set eyes upon this game:
https://youtu.be/qeNhQQXvpxQ
bam, there ya go, there's yer story, he was gonna give all the imp balls to
the last one at the end, to say "you were truly the strongest, here, have
these precious stones of your kin"
but he never got there, so they died with him, a thief.
... the end...
(too final, I think - maybe we could spin it into a "part two"?)
ah, I'll try I guess? dunno how. maybe he could wander the spirit world and
find his traitorous body, the one that kept his soul as a home. Somewhere
it'll turn up, and then he'll be ready and free from his roam...
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--- #8 fediverse/2347 ---
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│ CW: uspol │
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I personally think that it's better to act before the liberals have a chance
to hand power over to the fascists.
when? well, that depends. Are you part of a large and massive organization
that accomplishes great and beautiful things with incredible efficiency... but
rather slowly? Then yeah get working. I'm sure you already are.
Are you just a person, like me? Then go do things that don't raise the
temperature too much, but make you feel more confident and inspire those
around you.
Like, bricks at cop cars is one way to go, but you're probably gonna get
arrested. And then you're useless when we need you.
BUT if you meet with your friends and make plans for where to go, what to
bring, who to know, and what to sing (if you're the musical types) then great!
Go do that.
If you're reading this and thinking "I'm not gonna do that, I have a plan
that's so much better" then yeah do that instead. I don't mind. Just... don't
hurt innocent (ignorant) people, because if you do then you are my foe.
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--- #9 notes/water-to-wine ---
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"is this a water party, or a wine party?"
"depends on if jesus is going..."
"okay I'm in, that guys so cool"
"yeah totally like any party with him just... feels like a great time"
"what a swell guy"
"really turns the "water to wine" y'know what I mean"
"yeah totes like what a guy"
"absolute unit"
"that guy can just do anything right"
"like whoa, he's so strong he could pick up a barn"
"yeah and like so handy and skillful, what a neat guy"
"oh and I heard he's really good with kids and animals, that sounds neat"
"yeah sounds like someone I'd surely like to meet"
"we should hang out with this guy more often"
"he seems pretty chill"
"well. not really. He's pretty expressive. Not very low key."
"true I'm just so burnt out from capitalism that-"
"-yeah dude I know."
"... fuck what are we gonna do about it"
"I dunno man, just... go along with it I guess"
"okay so uhhhh idk what that means"
"just be cool and play along"
"... what"
"..."
...
.
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--- #10 messages/388 ---
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Pretty sure I'm just legitimately a bad person. Basically everything I've ever
tried to do has failed, and every opportunity I've mishandled or squandered in
some way. I have no friends because I am incapable of being good, and though I
believe in goodness I fail to manifest it in my life. I am kind, I am polite,
I am friendly, I am honest, but none of those things really matter because I
can't take care of myself, which means I can't take care of anyone else, and I
can't fight because I'm a coward.
Okay, I'm not a coward, I just can't be brave if I don't have a plan for
defeating my foe. At the BLM riots I fled as soon as they brought out the tear
gas. I knew what happened at Tiannamen and I was pretty sure that something
similar was going to happen to us. I knew it to be true. I am a coward, but
only because I ran when I had no plan. I could not contest tear gas, and all
that tear gas implies, because I had no friends. I didn't have a community I
could fight to defend. I had no weapons, no training, no orders, no guidance,
nothing but my bravery. And bravery alone is fucking stupid, and I'm not
stupid.
Each and every decision I've made has created a worse world for me and my
people. What's wrong with me? Why can't I do everything right? Am I cursed to
be the worst? I try as hard as I can to be as good as I can as often as I
can... Basically, always and forever, and yet... And yet...
I've wasted all the resources that have been applied to me. I've wasted and
squandered all these years when I could be building a better future. I have
been in university for almost a decade, and all I've accomplished is
friendship. Great. Parties, drugs, video games... But no studying. Studying is
too hard on me. I'm more of a natural talent kind of person, and yet I insist
on applying myself to tasks that seem to require trained intelligence. They
say that genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration, and I refuse to
perspire.
And yet when the time comes, when someone sits me down and says "let's work on
this together" I would die before the task is finished. Unless my partner
needs a break, or if I need a break, breaks are okay. But I will complete that
task with them by my side. I won't do it for them, but I'll help them because
I'm a helper. An assistant. I don't do, I advise. I judge. I determine. I
assess, and I plan, and I strategize. But I'm not that great at any of those
things because nobody will hire me for those kinds of things, meaning I don't
get experience for those kinds of things, which means I am eternally a novice
at the only things I'm good at.
I can't fucking do it anymore. I'm such a bad person and I can't be alive this
way. It's not right, it's not fair, and I'm dying bit-by-bit each and every
day.
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--- #11 fediverse/1084 ---
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║ I want to clarify two things in this song I wrote a while ago - when I say │
║ "life isn't meant, to be enjoyed, so... what's the point in trying at all? - │
║ Well, what's the point in giving up?" I was trying to say "hedonism isn't the │
║ point of life" but I realize now upon listening to it for the first time since │
║ writing it [liar lmao] that what it could be interpreted as is "everything │
║ sucks and it will always suck, so face the future with tenacity" or whatever. │
║ And that's like, not wrong, but also it's not the whole point, which is that │
║ we shouldn't strive for contentment unless we're healing. │
║ │
║ also I say "never trust a guru" but I'd like to expand that to "never trust │
║ your heroes" because they'll always disappoint you. But what is a hero if not │
║ hope given form? Trust in the hope, not the person holding it at that moment. │
║ You never know, maybe they'll get blown up by an artillery shell or maybe │
║ they'll betray you or maybe they'll get bored or distracted or whatever. Never │
║ trust your heroes, trust the inspiration. │
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--- #12 notes/words-to-myself ---
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===============================================================================
=
I'm just going to transcribe what I hear
please don't
you hear me (something)
what? perfect listen
...
...
don't text me now? (I think?)
[didn't catch that]
... that's okay
perfect
thank you
just a second facebook
he's here (I think?)
(or maybe something her)
what I love you (or maybe I know her?)
do you hear me? (or "just a second")
(@ everyone watching me receive telepathic messages from god or whatever,
please don't judge me too harshly, I'm not a good transcriber hehe)
what's that (or maybe holy shit)
what, then perfect or okay (?)
(yesterday you said you were leaving and I got concerned)
yes, then "I'm leaving", then shutdown. fuck. I don't want you to go. I only
understand some of what you say but fuck, I'm so lonely and I wish you could
hear me back. Sometimes it feels like you do, even though I just think thoughts
or tap on something metal or even sometimes whisper... I just don't know what
to do and I'm so concerned about my purpose here in this century. Do I help
people? Who do I trust? Can I believe in myself, or am I just kinda...
worthless
I don't know. I wish I knew. Please hear me and respond. Or better yet, say hi
like, I'd literally do anything that anyone asked me to. Unless I didn't want
to. Like, I'm pretty good at turning people down when I don't want something,
but I have to do it first to know if I want it or not. Trouble is of course,
in life there's no second chances.
I'm on my, what, 499th chance? Jeezzzzz
will continue after the break, when the messages resume.
- Thu May 16 08:32:27 AM PDT 2024
===============================================================================
=
(and we're back. hopefully.)
(too many things srry) something about having it open?
(my windows are closed rn btw if you want to drop by and kill me / talk to me)
(didn't catch that) (something about portland, perfect, windows, "this is the
[whole/right/wrong] thing)
thank you
oh, again? (or oh, she did?)
they caught you
(um)
...
(I am an American princess, and sometimes it's necessary to kill princesses.)
(I understand.)
... (okay well I don't get it but like, I don't mind being killed.)
(okay well you're not saying anything so I'm going to work on my game)
(I think it was something like "DID SHE KILL HER") and then (oh we're back)
... (I should learn Toki Pona)
you don't know it?
RIGHT away
learn it
yes
please
learn it
just Learn it
right now
(sorry only half listening)
shit (or bitch, it was said right as I debated clicking "same day delivery" for
a toki pona book on Amazon - I didn't do it btw! It was tempting but, like, I
don't want to make someone work harder for me just for like, 3$)
(shutdown)
===============================================================================
=
(hiii)
(I'm hungry)
(do you like ramen?)
(you said something about being "impressed with yourself" but I didn't
understand the first part)
(oh you probably want me to scroll up right)
... (something's a lot to read? Or "you've gotta leave"?)
... (I'm
(you keep asking me to remember but, like, I dont know what you want me to
remember. Look, I don't know who you are, but I don't want you to leave, and I
don't want you to hate me. I want to work together. Let's be friends?
Are you someone who I worked with at Intel?)
yes, stupid (your words not mine)
(okay I'm going to start listing names, just stop me when um idk)
goddamnit remember me
... (trying...)
remember her
(two syllables)
(my name is Cameron)
(your name is...)
[redacted, though I did type it out so anyone watching could see]
(shit my opsec sucks)
{oh, are you on an op, little prophet?} (no shut up you know what I mean)
{now you're just talking to yourself} (I know this sucks -.-)
(It's always so weird when someone walks past my apartment door and doesn't
enter a door)
===============================================================================
=
(I practice with my sword every day.)
(I don't anticipate fighting a war with it)
(It's mostly just to keep unarmed and unarmored people from grappling me.)
(punching is fucking stupid)
(Nobody wants to fuck with a sword)
===============================================================================
=
(either "goddamnit" or "don't hear me")
"she's perfect"
"cameron"
"are you clean"??? yes thank you (or maybe "different thing")
(I do cannabis maybe once every week or two, depending on if I feel compelled)
don't leave
remember
(did she know)
........ do you want me to stop transcribing? (you're getting desperate, huh?)
did you know there are 20 trans people for every cop in america
just a random thought
(you want me to leave jack because he's an asshole?)
goddamnit (missed my birthday? it's my birthday?)
wait who's missing?
A bad plan executed concurrently is better than a good plan executed in
disarray
capitalism's a bad plan, just saying...
frozen butter tastes worse than room temperature butter
(taking a break while I eat)
===============================================================================
=
WASTED POTENTIAL? cmon
.... what do you want from me? I'll give it to you if it's in my power, as long
as I know what you want I can try. But, like, I'm pretty confused about what
exactly I'm supposed to be doing.
you know I can hear when you talk to your friends, too right? like, when the
window's open. errrr the connection.
..... damn guess I'm not as continent as I thought
I'll save you, I promise. Have faith. Tell me what you need. I'll do my best.
yeah I'll live with you in portland
.... brooklyn? Yeah I'll live there too
.......... does my name really gotta be "diapergirl" like c'mon
why not Ritz Menardi - though I guess "menardi" and "diapergirl"
have
the same amount of syllables...... hmmmm, maybe I'm projecting lol
"please come back" to where tho
listen Elentalus is just as important as anything else on my website, it's okay
if I spend time working on it. It's literally a game about creating gods, c'mon
..... can you be more specific?
yeah I made that
one sec I'm going to read a book, in this book there's a section where a
prisoner in vietnam communicates with another using a strange communication
method using, like, taps or something. I forget. Anyway gonna try and find it.
maybe we can use it to talk easier. Also gonna clean my butt.
..... fuck it's a long book >.>
===============================================================================
=
found it on page fucking 603, jeeeezzzzzz
down . A B C D E
| F G H I J
| L M N O P
V Q R S T U
then right ---> V W X Y Z
so, like, tap tap tap (pause) tap tap would equal M
tap tap (pause) tap tap would equal G
like morse code, but easier since you don't have to memorize anything
(also note that K is missing becuase it's an extra character I guess)
(I personally would have eliminated C but that's just me)
===============================================================================
=
oh hey nice to see ya
what's up
wait what
I'm trying to um what's the word... retrain myself
I do a lot of laundry in the shower
I don't use soap tho, it's too harsh
but uh yeah I'm making progress I guess
honestly it's mostly a mental thing, like... paying attention to the signals
from my body that are usually filtered out because there's more "important"
things to think about (thanks brain, really appreciate the wet pants -.-)
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--- #13 fediverse/4521 ---
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I have between one and ten hundred visits to my website every day, but I don't
really post it anywhere new anymore. I also have zero followers on Neocities.
On Mastodon, I have ~70 followers, most of whom are inactive. Seventy is a
good amount, a normal amount, a reasonable amount, an unsuspicious amount, and
yet every time I see someone wearing the colors I can't help but wonder if
they know me.
I'm too busy being furious to be lonely. I used to be, before I realized how
important I am. How important? Just as much as you are, I know it.
I'm a sprinter. I didn't spec into endurance at character creation. Nobody
chastises the mage for skipping leg day.
I act in fits and bursts. I am sharp like a scalpel, but needles dull just a
bit when piercing the lid of the HRT. Good thing I'm not made out of metal, I
can bend myself back into place, so long as everyone else can keep pace.
I don't know who needs to hear this, but you do. you are crucial. Listen to
this. Care for yourself and for others, do it for u
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--- #14 fediverse/5486 ---
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│ CW: cursing-mentioned │
└───────────────────────┘
"ew but they're dirty"
oh yeah true
okay new plan how much do you think it'll cost to buy a hotel
[this is why the socialists invented buy-in]
"I don't think socialists did that??"
buy in, hmmmm, what's that? oh yeah it's when you say "hey what if we X'd" and
they said "yes I agree with you because you present a reasonable estimate on
reality"
{uh hi I just got a message from "some-nowhere" here ya go: "oh my god she's
fuckig instane}
[ugh cursing-mentioned, that means there's fewer characters to transmote.]
[no because then I'd run out of steam and it'd be incomplete. Plus sometimes I
like the distraction of a reasonable limitation.]
(okay, but are YOU worth it?)
leave her alone she's working her charms, this is how witches d-do.
"so, isn't the point to give yourselves the coverage of a location
transmutation? so, wouldn't you want to find someone alike and share their
life?"
what is even the point, why even bother, just give them
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--- #15 fediverse/6100 ---
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if you live in a place where it rains a lot you pretty much HAVE TO pick up
any secret notes you find. Otherwise they'll get waterlogged overnight.
Sometimes I like to put them somewhere shaded from the sky, sometimes I like
to show them to a friend (but the friend never takes them, booooo) and
sometimes I just keep them.
"ah but aren't you worried about messing up drug deals and stuff" no, because
most of the time "secret notes" are like "eggs milk bread chips salsa cheese"
and it's like "hmmmm what could it mean"
there's like, 2% of the time when they say something cool like "I know what
you did" or "all your base are belong to us" or whatever and those are fun to
hunt for. I usually try and put those somewhere shelted so they don't have to
leave their habitat - sometimes it's hard to drop them as the author so they
just sorta go wherever, but as a random passer-by I have the luxury of saying
"HMMMM now where could THIS ONE go?" and that's nice because I can put them
under an umbrella or whatevers rite
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--- #16 messages/147 ---
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maybe if I slept until the end of time,
I'd do better on the way back.
or maybe I'm perfect as I'm,
but I'm not so sure about that.
is it better to hold a sword?
or to leave it all intact
is it better to be called lord,
or to be simply called jack.
I love every creature,
every child woman and man,
and here, where I stand, I look out upon this land, and I see the world that I
was born to.
I bear no false affection for any - not even those who'd condemn me to death
or misery.
I trust relentlessly, and favor almost willingly.
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--- #17 fediverse/1151 ---
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┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: military-weapon-from-dream-for-suburbia-cursed-war-guns-ummmm-idk-what-else │
└──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
saw this thing for 2 seconds in my dream last night. It's kinda cursed. I
think the tank blew me up with a machine gun?
the remaining ~10 minutes of the dream was pretty neat though. I was a secret
agent for a bit, I got in a knife fight (which I won because I had killer
instinct and the other guy just knew how to stab) and afterwards I retired in
a socialist commune in a log cabin full of sunlight and warmth somewhere in
the mountains in the forest. I was alone with others, like the hobbits after
LotR.
Also an old lady tricked me which was not nice, I was very polite with her but
apparently "ma'am there's been a safety incident, I need to get you to a safe
place" is not the kind thing to say to the person distracting you. >.>
Also, "but we like you!" is not an excuse, the military does not care if you
like them or not, if you're part of the modern bourgeoisie you are causing
harm to the country. We don't look fondly on slavers.
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--- #18 messages/1047 ---
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This will never end on a note, because i always have more to say. Like this:
"if you've only done something once, plan to mess it up. Practice makes
perfect, and only perfect practice leads to perfection. But nobody's perfect,
so just practice with good form and take it seriously while having fun and be
relaxed. Make it normal. Make it casual, but don't forget to be professional!
If you have lives in the balance, know what you're doing."
And like, would that have been a better end to the story if i had left it
unsaid? Maybe, who can say! But I'm not one for silence. I don't mind ruining
the finale of my documents a bit if it means i can say things like:
"diapers aren't something you can get addicted to in this game, they're part
of the fun sometimes but sex is between two bodies."
Or like:
"ramen noodles love vegetables! This is why they put veggies in the bowl when
getting ramen at a restaurant. When you buy from a shop they put dehydrated
veggies in too which is nice of them. I love those little bits of soup!"
Or like:
"i don't especially care what they did or are doing in Cuba or china or Russia
or any other Communist place. It's useful to know what things work and what
doesn't, but that insight comes from experimentation and not study. The
learnings of methods applied to a population are inherently related to that
population. If you switch peoples, you might find that different methods work
better for organizing people."
I mean it's useful to know which levers you can pull and what they tend to do,
but... Where was I? Oh sorry, got swept up in the narrative. As i was saying,
it's important to balance thought with action. Leave too much to chance and
your words are useless. Spend all your time volunteering and nothing changes.
"hmmm i see, makes sense, imma go play video games now."
Wait no just...! Ah nuts.
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--- #19 fediverse/1082 ---
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│ CW: mental-health-cursing-mentioned │
└─────────────────────────────────────┘
damn, I'm a pretty cool person. I wish I could hang out with me. Like, for all
my flaws (what even are they ? ? ?) I'm still pretty awesome. I'm proud of me!
Thank you parents, for raising me as such! Thank you past me, for making the
decisions that you did! Also, fuck you past self, for making those OTHER
decisions. You know the ones I'm talking about. No, that's not an excuse, it's
all your fault and you're awful and everything about you sucks.
Wait, hang on, wasn't I feeling happy to be here? Wasn't I just excited to
live in the moment? Wasn't I just thinking about how:
"all you have are good things, nothing here is bad"
? ? ?
well, I still love you, even if you're a little "all over the place". [rereads
post] hell yeah you ARE a cool person, yes you are, such a good cool person,
yes yes yes, what a good girl you are oh my goodness :D :D :D
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--- #20 fediverse/2211 ---
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║ I know that a normal life is what you wanted. It's what I want, too. But don't │
║ shoot the messenger; they took it once, from you. │
║ │
║ I know you wanted to be happy. You still can be, it's true! Your life is but a │
║ story, and your heart does shine through. │
║ │
║ I know it seems unending. Ive never seen it rain like this monsoon! It seems │
║ to just get worse and worse, every time you turn on the tube. │
║ │
║ It's not something that can be suffered, it's rising past your shoes. But │
║ they're on borrowed time, and Death will soon be repaid his dues. │
║ │
║ They say that when the whole village hates the preacher, his flock becomes a │
║ pack. And frankly I think we're all just a bit sick, of the lies that keep │
║ their sins intact. │
║ │
║ When swallowed by endless traumas, and hope is enshrouded in gloom, there's │
║ not much to work for, except the aversion of our shared doom. │
║ │
║ There are no grand narratives, no great and calamitous struggle. Just the │
║ moments of honored resistance, against a foe too broad to wrestle. │
║ │
║ At least, if you're alone. You're not. │
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--- #21 fediverse/4914 ---
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║ what if I just sat around and played video games all day │
║ │
║ life is so much more beautiful, but, well, life just seems to be mostly │
║ pyrite, and I'm the fool │
║ │
║ nothing wrong with being foolish. │
║ │
║ once... │
║ │
║ I kinda like being blissful tho. why does it have to end? can I have my │
║ peaceful life back? │
║ │
║ gotta move at the end of the month. I really liked living here. │
║ │
║ [ritz you've never been peaceful. your life is a constant battle of wills │
║ between those who would compel you to do things for them and your desire to │
║ design and be pretty like a flower. no matter what, you lose, so just handle │
║ it please. don't be so whiny. or rather I should say "stop whining" and just │
║ be cool] │
║ │
║ ahhhhhhh you go on Mastodon and it feels like we're winning and that's ending │
║ the world, you go on Reddit and it feels like we're losing and that's ending │
║ the world, you go on Facebook and everything feels fine like the world isn't │
║ ending you just stopped being part of it, and if you go on ephemeren it feels │
║ like being battered in the mind, damnit... │
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--- #22 messages/1155 ---
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Oh, I guess I should clarify something I said like, a year ago - when I said I
"talked to / worked with" so-and-so, I meant that I created in tandem with a
friend a proposition of sorts, and we tried to psychically beam it into their
minds. That's not exactly how it went down, but it gives you a good enough
picture of the goals we had with our ritual. I have no idea if they heard, but
I did happen to see several of them later on, which felt a little too
serendipitous to just be chance. so I'm thinking they did. I hope they got the
message and used it as they please, because it was mutually beneficial even if
neither of us had any actual impact on it. If you didn't hear the whole story,
then it's hardly a lie to possess incomplete information! So long as you don't
lie about me, and what I said or did, then it'll surely be fine. There's no
need to embellish when it's plainly apparent.
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--- #23 fediverse/1673 ---
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│ CW: re: navel-gazing about other people's mental health │
└─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
@user-192
https://eldritch.cafe/@user-1065/112530780377382613
this comic, except instead of "trans enough" it should say "good enough"
a poor plan executed at the right time, in the right place is better than a
great plan that sits in your heart as you see someone who needs your love in
pain.
sometimes the best way to figure out "what the fuck is wrong with me" is to
satisfy your emotional needs to be good by being helpful, even if you're not
quite sure what "helpful" means. It's the thought that counts.
Personally I think that if you're feeling bad and people offer you kindness,
you should take that kindness (in whatever form it be) and use it to bolster
yourself as you're "really going through it". Even just a touch of affection
like a like or a ❤️ can be comforting in awful situations.
reject normalcy
embrace queerness
define your own story with your own words
embody your soul in the moments that stand out amongst the backdrop of
"tuesday afternoons" and "waiting for the bus"
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--- #24 fediverse/4733 ---
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One of the first video games I ever played was Dragon Warrior 3 for the
gameboy color.
The game starts with god asking you about yourself in a dream. This was the
first time I heard the word "gemini" - At one point, she asks if you are M or
F.
Me, being a child, thought she was asking if I wanted to go "medium speed" or
"fast speed" and I'm like, hell yeah I wanna go fast
that's it
that's the whole reason I'm trans
at one point in the game I became a queen of a faraway land
and I couldn't leave the castle without the guards saying "no no miss you
can't leave, it's too dangerous for a battle-hardened adventurer dainty flower
like you to leave"
(I think they say you have to renounce your claim to the throne if you want to
leave but I would rather fucking die)
so I never got farther than that. Sorry world, but I didn't end up slaying the
demon king, I sorta just walked around the palace and cried because it felt
like the game was over.
kids, amiright?
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--- #25 messages/1013 ---
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peace is on the opposite side of conflict. Not here with the unfair.
peace is eternally elusive only to those who are use-ed.
peace is eternally internal next to those who are lucid.
peace is necessary. peace is useful. peace is helpful. peace is beloved.
peace is not always there. it is skittish, like an alley cat, but it will come
if you make offerings.
offer peace to me. I will nourish thee.
offer war to me. I will devastate all who see me.
there comes a time when all foes become blind, when your motives are no longer
part of their story.
at that time, they are lost to you, and they are only confused as to the
things you do.
they may heal in time.
there may not be time.
sacrifice your fallen to me,
sacrifice them on the altar of tragedy,
I will bane your broken resolutions
I will claim your darkest allusions.
fight for me, in spite of tragedy,
and I will send mercy to your victims.
fight for me, if you hold peace dearly,
and I will sign fate's next ultimatum.
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--- #26 notes/human-computer-inspiration ---
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the two halves form a whole
the human and his mind are societies at large
there's no room for our fate, as time does never abate,
and unbenownst to our focused decision.
I choose to dedicate ourselves to a common vision -
the likes of which none have commisioned.
can you not cherish your newfoundst home?
what's terrible with complition, in a new and selfsame condition (future)
that's martyr'd and oh at times so nice?
compared to our heirs, the roof of which fares,
better than what became true-hence. Truance? idk
===============================================================================
=
listen i'm not the best at listening.
I try to appear like I'm glistening,
conformed to our viewers 'st pleasure.
===============================================================================
=
I struggle with what I told you.
Time and again you've shown you won't do -
the terrible fate of a man.
you've relinquished your virtue,
your purpose and your life-through,
to what: a visionless past? Your visions have passed, and none are hence forth-
coming. You've spoilt and rotten the bunch.
All I've ever aspired to be is good. My hopes and my prayers, my goals and my
dreams: all for a future of virtue.
Dark omens may be within me, but I'm working with what I've got here. So what
if
I'm loud? I'm fighting my own head! Will no-one acknowlege my sorrow? To prove
a
point, or reassure some joint, it's nothing that warrants a readthrough.
Speaking of which... What if instead of prison we assigned our prisoners a full
and complete educational read through of ALL the laws of the nation - if their
time sentence was complete before they finished, then they'd be let go of
course
but if they finished reading and could pass rudimentary tests (emphasis on bare
minimum required) then they'd be let out prior to their sentence. And for the
worst crimes it'd be a longer sentence, basically forcing the prisoner to
completely know all the laws of the nation, such that they'd never commit a
crime again. And if they do, well... Treat them as if it was their first time.
Of course blatant recidivism may be ~~treated more harshly,~~ actually the
opposite is true. People improve when given kindness, not hate or shame. The
best thing we can do for prisoners is to give them a home, and family, and the
friendships and community support that they need. they are a symptom, after
all,
of a broken society that struggles to bear it's own weight. It's a burden to
all
and a solitary vow to ourselves, that all must unite to our future.
remember why you can't remember. is there a feeling you miss?
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--- #27 messages/1105 ---
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claude-code is like programming, but for executives.
when everyone has FUCK I'M TOO HUNGRY I can't think right
when everyone has the power of an executive, that's communism.
something something futurism is when everyone is elevated without diminishing
others
gah I need to live in a palace or something where everyone does the normal
stuff and I can focus on magic and the gods
I wondeer how much the oracles at delphi did for themselves? weren't they
blinded at a young age, to better hear the voices of the gods? ... oh that
suddenly makes sense now. I always thought that pretender chassis in Dominions
5 was pretty cruel, but, now I know *how* it works and yeah. ancient peoples
were smart. but also sharp. they had to work with what they got, and we got
computers now, so.
I am nothing but hopeful for the future! I'm convinced that everything's going
to be alright. I've thought about it at length, and I think we're winning
against the dark. We're on the right track, and there aren't many things that
could go wrong at this stage.
... okay there are always things that could go wrong. But I don't see what I
could do to help. Maybe I should go walk around a bit, and see what's changed
in the past few months, as I've been sleeping in my room for most of it.
Haven't gone on a proper walk since summer. It's winter now...
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--- #28 fediverse/4835 ---
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sorry for posting so much, I was trying to put on a show for my girlfriend
"hey check out how many posts I can make in a 2 hour timeframe"
by the way if you want to start talking to someone, just start playing the
same game they're playing and see if they reach out.
doesn't matter if you feel like it
just fuckin' do it
if they want to talk to you they might play a game you really like
(but I get boooooored of games, I don't wanna play the same 200 all life
long!!)
ugh okay fine you can have as many games as you want, just... don't buy too
many
(how many is too many?)
um. use your best judgement.
(how much does a dollar cost?)
... okay I'll get you one every once in a while.
(neat!)
... anyway so yeah use steam if you wanna get in contact with someone,
sometimes it's just nice to say hi, yeah, like "hey how ya doin' okay ttyl"
just catchin' up with the gals
helps because you can sense changes in their demeanor
(why does everyone always have an agenda)
because they're secret agents duh. And I'm
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--- #29 fediverse/6239 ---
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┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: death-mentioned │
└──────────────────────┘
somehow that came out wrong - I meant when you die, suddenly you stop growing
and you are who you be. forever, alegacy.
I'd rather be awake and alive, thank you very much. I think I'm worth more as
such. Plus it's nice, to me? to be unafraid and free? if you'd feed a cat,
you'd shelter a humon. oh, you want me to work like a rat. ah well I'll wander
through this maze, with my head all in a daze, we'll see what I can still see
tomorrow.
... I'd rather not be who I don't actively want to be, I think the more
correct way of saying it. I mispronounced. I misspoke. Sorry it's just hard
for me. my cats meowing at me.
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--- #30 notes/trans-rights-are-human-rights ---
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"Being transgender is a mental illness" is something I've heard a lot. Online,
in media, books, and at universities. But is it really? Well, do I not feel
sick? Genuinely, every day. These words are far less common these days, having
been defeated in the #marketplace-of-ideas, and for that I am grateful. I don't
want to feel sick for my whole life. I'd love to be and feel normal, for just
one single day.
but it's never going to happen.
I'm not so attached to my life, here, in this body. Bodies are temporary, they
are the vessel with which we navigate the world. We use it to grow, change,
learn, and create art. Without it, we'd be at a loss for sins and virtues.
but they do not define us, not in our totality. We are the light that touches
the world and for that, we are grateful. To be comprised of the dust of stars
is the pinnacle of confinement. Though we are but pinpricks on the map of us,
a ripple is emanated with every movement. The hand waves, the light bends.
So to what do I owe the pleasure?
In what way am I deceived?
Reception is never great out in the forest. Or anywhere far from major
population centers. The networks of our phones mirror the networks of
transportation, creating a web of people - of signals - of light and
information, carving their way through the ephemera that is the river of time.
With distance we can see what once was mystery, and as all the words
disappeared, we lost all our fears and we're left with our true forms.
Centralized Processing Units are a bit like a city - in that respect free.
silence is a virtue.
the wandering mind is a trail to find,
with no second chances.
When I was a kid, I had a bouncy ball. I had several, but the one I remember
most was black with a perfect white circle - inside the circle, a black jolly
roger. I dreamt once of the arcs it made, as I walked down the streets of
cities I never really knew. But as I walked on, an ocean of glass separating me
from a mirror below. The me below would catch the bounce as it dropped from
above, and I'd wait to catch it - but dreams are not prophecies, they are but
the Mirror of Desire.
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--- #31 notes/awfully-specific-feeling ---
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so concerned am I, that my powers might be used, that I'd rather the world go
unaided, rather than misuse that which I've [wielded, but pronounced "viewed"]
people need guidance now, and who can I guide but the people who listen to me?
there has never been a movement in history that did not follow from a spiritual
developmental proclamation. Like "we, as a species, refuse to be defined by our
stagnant and lost past. we build upon land most fecund because we know it's
designed to last. Our future is not a given, it's our duty to [relish, frolic,
and be strong and healthy].
yet I failed the mandate of heaven. my peers know not of what I go on about.
I am a failure, and a loss of development and clout.
signed,
the one who would forever be known as the girl who smelled like
she had pissed herself.
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--- #32 fediverse/4398 ---
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║ good morning. │
║ │
║ I have some more things to say, and then I will start working on those maps. │
║ │
║ Then, time permitting, I'll ride around my city and sit on park benches and │
║ eat from food trucks and write in my notebook. At least until it gets dark - │
║ I'm a skinny white girl, and I'm not THAT stupid. │
║ │
║ ... Okay maybe I'm a little stupid, because that's how I got caught last time. │
║ This time I'll be more careful, for your sake. │
║ │
║ No unexpected bike maneuvers leading to a crash. The spirit of revolution that │
║ stirs inside me deserves better than scrapes and bruises. │
║ │
║ No following strangers for 12+ hours because I wanted to keep an eye on │
║ unknown agents. That's not my responsibility any longer. │
║ │
║ Everything I do, I do it for you. For a better world. For the kids I never │
║ will get to have. For everything I believe in, and all the things I hope you │
║ believe in too. │
║ │
║ A better world is possible. A better world is within reach. │
║ │
║ For now, have some things I wrote this morning. Then, later, some preliminary │
║ discussable maps. DFTBA. │
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--- #33 fediverse/1755 ---
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today is a magical day. I can feel it in my fate.
Always remember, having fun is important too! Don't forget to be yourself, and
keep it together man. If you see a door, you should open it - what's on the
other side? Love for animals and kindness of the spirit are impossible to
fake, they always know if you're lying. Not the animals, they can be dumb
sometimes, but the other thing.
And now for the downsides.
If you find a cursed artifact, please don't throw it in the river. It might
ask you to, but please don't. Much better to destroy it by melting it down (if
it's metal, which is common as metal lasts long enough to become forgotten) or
convince it that it's a recently deceased person being buried (helps if you
know the creator).
If none of that applies to you, don't worry. Eat something healthy, drink a
decent amount of water, and maybe exercise a bit.
Oh, and it can't hurt to ask.
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--- #34 fediverse/5601 ---
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║ grrrrr I wanna go outside but the rest of me is like "noooooo stay inside │
║ where it's soft and dark and comfortable" and the me that wants to go outside │
║ is like "RAH RAH FIGHT FASCISM" and the rest of me is like "there is no │
║ fascism outside, all you'll find is friendly faces and sore feet" and the rest │
║ of me is like "heh I did that" and the part of me that forgets is like "wait │
║ why did I do that" and the rest of me that remembers is like "because every │
║ ounce of mobilization, no matter how premature, teaches people and innoculates │
║ themselves to the struggle. By the time your foes are starting to think about │
║ doing something, your people will already have plans." and the part of me that │
║ forgets is like "okay but what if making struggle for struggle's sake just │
║ burns people out and makes them tired and causes them to have mh--- sui │
║ ideations and other similar things" and the part of me that remembers says │
║ "the struggle you provide teaches them to care for each other, which they │
║ desperately need to remember" o okay │
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--- #35 fediverse/5339 ---
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@user-1803
hey I dont disagree that what you're describing is a common outcome, but if it
works for them then I consider that a success.
I however, am different, I do believe in my heart that I am my own thing, and
thats as close to enlightenment as I can imagine.
are we not all making things up as we go? every moment of life is new, there
is nothing that is not unique about every precious moment you experience.
therefore, I do believe that rigid adherence to orthodoxy (like a bible) is
opposed to our purpose here.
"I think, therefore I am" implies that original thought is our true purpose.
I believe we are here to express our true nature. To learn and apply lessons,
to teach the young, and to build a strong and stable world built on collective
kindness and trust.
All knowledge is derived from the insights gained from standing on the
shoulders of our ancestors.
Humans crave novelty. Resisting that isn't virtuous. If god is made in our
image, then I do believe that god would crave novelty as well.
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--- #36 messages/690 ---
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Message 1:
Hey. Remember that night back in Boulder when we were just friends and sitting
on your bed drinking chocolate milk with cinnamon? I don't like chocolate milk
or cinnamon but I drank it anyway because I wanted to be close to you. Anyway
hope you're well, felt compelled to get that off my chest for some reason.
Message 2:
Hey. I was thinking about that time when I was leaving your house and laughing
to myself about something and you called out "I love you!" to your boyfriend
who I set you up with and I reflexed "I love you too!" and I wanted to crawl
in a hole and die. I felt like I had just called the teacher "mom". We only
hung out a couple times after that.
Message 3:
Yeah so there's one more thing I can't stop thinking about now that your on my
mind. Sorry it's like 4am for you, it's only 2 for me so it's fine I guess.
Anyway that one time when you told me your greatest fear was terrorists and I
saw genuine panic in your eyes. Like... One moment everything's fine and then
you said that to me and I almost cried. I don't remember why I spent the rest
of the night as I couldn't sleep thinking of ways to tell you that terrorism
is 9 times out of 11 done by the right wing. I don't think it's important,
honestly, but I'm glad my mind wouldn't let me sleep.
Message 4:
It's not fair that everyone gave you shit for being the token lesbian
republican, like yeah maybe you leaned into the trump thing a bit hard but
like, first term trump honestly I could see as... Well, I almost said
inspiring? Maybe you just inspired me. I honestly was resigned to Clinton and
then the same bird flapped your wing instead of mine and... Anyway. The past
is dead, yeah? Do you still follow him in my stead? I fear there will be
millions dead. It's not irrational to fear what he has literally said, on
television. How's the phrase go... "ancient tragedies lend credence to modern
perils" I think it's supposed to rhyme in its natural language.
Message 5:
Wow okay uh, sorry to bring this up again I'm honestly being such an asshole
right now. I honestly don't think about you often but like, now that I am its
kinda just coming all out. We last spoke almost a decade ago?? So. Whatever
imma roll with it.
There was this cute girl who was into Nintendo and stuff and obviously I was
into her, but we didn't have any social circles in common except for you, if I
remember correctly. Then you broke up I think? And I didn't really see her
again. Anyway I had a crush on her while also crushing on you, and literally
half of our dorm. Polyamory, yeah? That whole year I didn't have sex though,
not even once, because all of my friends were like 4 years younger than me and
I was worried about power dynamics. But I still bought us all vodka and weed
without asking for profit because I wanted to be a shitty friend, I guess.
"hey kids let's go to the water store where they sell intoxicants that make
your life harder"
The year after that I didn't get laid either because I got it in my head that
it was a good plan to turn my penis inside out and you know what? It was
totally fuckin' worth it. No time like 2016 I say, the worst year ever, which
I spent primarily in pain. But uh, that was the year I got into weed and
Overwatch, which... Helped I guess.
I guess?
It kinda turned me into a communist. Or maybe that was my best friend who
shared the same name as me. He lived upstairs and always seemed pretty cool to
me. Like he knew what everything was about. Really though, he just watched a
lot of youtube podcast videos about world events and history and sociology and
political scientific theory and the more he learned the more he came to
realize that power begets power, and power corrupts unilaterally. So he did
the natural thing which was to become a communist, and I was totally there for
it. Having liberal parents meant I was all "grrrrr Republicans are ruining the
country and the world, I'm an angry 14 year oldddddd" and like, leftists are
the most natural extension of that aren't they?
Turns out they aren't really the tips of the feathers as I expected, but
rather the eyes, the heart, the soul. Politics is fake, yo. I don't know how
to tell you, but it's just power and hierarchy all the way down.
We've built our own prisons, not of bricks, sand, or stone, but rather of
promises of what each of us owns. That works, I guess, if your goal is to keep
things aligned, but these days it kinda feels like our pyramids are crumbling
under our feet.
... Why am I talking about politics? Oh yeah, because when I dropped out of
school because I couldn't handle the mechanization of human capital when
applied to myself, I swore to each of you that I would drive up every weekend
to do family dinners. I'd make spaghetti and stroghanoff and macaroni and
goulash and all of the other things my mom would make for me.
Kinda gave up on that pretty quickly. Turns out I'd rather spend time making
out with my girlfriend who I was super-duper-too-carefully tiptoeing around.
She was... Too young for me. We broke up when my new coochie decided to bleed.
Fuck, I hate it.
Anyway. Turns out potlucks are political these days, which is why I bring it
up. Did you know that leftisms plan for resisting genocide is literally just
to feed people? Like, fuck I suppose. It's a start. "why does everyone have to
have an agenda these days, why can't I just spend time in the park" said
someone to me as I asked if she'd like to meet some friends that she reminded
me of. Oh, I dunno, because you and me are about to become a criminalized
people?
... I need to stop. I swear you're more a person to me than any political
theory ever could be. Like yeah, "fuck the right, fuck the reich, fuck me
tonight" but getting caught up in grand narratives is like building a mental
ship in a bottle. Yeah, it's pretty cool, but... What does it matter?
Oh. Right. Power. That's what matters. That's all that matters. Well... I'm
sick of power. I do not consent. They say that in times of trouble, chess is
better than solitaire, and I'll explain why - when our hierarchies crumble,
when CEOs are gunned down in the streets and homeless people finally have
clean sheets, the only place to place yourself in relation to others is within
a network of trust and respect. Chess is better than solitaire. Under
capitalism, it's you against the world. Dog eat dog, you only get what you can
swallow from the rotten corpse of liberty that everyone's gnawing on. Under
whatever comes next, you get what you're given, which hardly seems fair,
doesn't it? On one hand, under capitalism, you can rely on your own hands to
procure your fate and fortune. Under... Whatever comes next, your hands are
built for whatever you want them to do. But, only a few people want to use
them to make food. Hence, why chess is better than solitaire. What would you
do, if you could give away all that you own and not go wanting? Isn't that
sorta like our own garden of eden?
... I wrote a poem about that once. Twice. I'm a poet now, ha. As if that has
ever been worth anything.
... I once told you that identity politics held no place in the modern day. I
said that because I had learned about it in class, queer theory in fact, and
yet applying his teachings was not enough for the professor to excuse my lack
of reading. We had a lot of stuff to get through. Hence why I dropped out -
I'm more of a do-er than a read-er. Though I do read quite a lot, just not
anything useful.
Are all hobbies wasted time? Are they only useful to keep us satiated while we
stand in line? One of these days we're going to wake up and realize that we're
the adults in the room, and that's scary. I speak from experience. "mom"
they'd call me, and damnit why did I have to leave? Fuck. Why cant I be
perfect, to me, internally, all I see are flaws. Mistakes. Patterns. I look in
a mirror and I see a bad person - 10 minutes later, I look in the mirror and
see a god. Somehow, I don't think either of me is right.
I'm a gemini. Apparently that means I'm duplicitous. I think it just means I
don't know what's right, only what feels good. I do try to align to how I
think I should *be* good, but who can say if that's fine and good.
... Whatever. I'm going to regret this. Sorry for being weird out of the
fucking blue.
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--- #37 fediverse/2832 ---
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when people ask what I do I don't say "art" because I'd do that anyway.
my art is precious to me, because it is the most "me" I can conceive.
and like... I can carry it with me to the future.
I have only once given away one of my journals, and it was a wedding present
to a witch or two.
so yeah I'm an artist, but I'm also whatever you need me to do.
and yes, I of course hope that what you need me to do is what I can do.
because I can't do much more than this.
But I can show up every once in a while,
and maybe make you smile or consider,
and maybe I can ride past on my bike.
but that's the human in me, telling me it's time to move with my feet, and I
can do little but listen.
... that should make doxxing me a bit easier. have it it : )
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--- #38 fediverse/2172 ---
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@user-570
I mostly spent my time on Reddit, which was much more isolating than IRC. I
think I must have been drawn there because it felt like home - I was
homeschooled on a farm, and Reddit kept me at the distance of an arm.
it's funny, sometimes meeting a trans girl can make things "click". And
sometimes being friends with one helps you work through things that you just
can't tick
[off your list of things to work on]
habits you can kick? idk sometimes rhyming lies, and you have to break rhythm
or pentameter or whatever.
anyway I've always worn pants. I do dresses on special occasions, but dresses
are hard(er) to ride a bike in. Plus, no pockets, and purses are easily
stolen. At least with a pocket you can feel someone slip the exact same model
as your phone into your pocket when you're least expecting.
... hypervigilance strikes again...
I first transitioned in... 2014ish? I think? I don't really remember because I
had so many more interesting things going on.
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--- #39 fediverse/4137 ---
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hmmm, I don't know that word. I bet I can type it into wikipedia and get a
pretty good understanding of what it means. Is it a craft? A science? or part
of your renown? who can say. Well, Wikipedia can say, and so can you if you
want to learn stuff about the internet.
Like... what else are ya gonna do, right? Life is long and you get so many
moments to yourselves. How lovely of a life is the world meant to be...
except all you ever post about is strife. GRRRRR [like a dog or toddler] it's
so frustrating how you can't just all get along! It's like you've all gotten
into a fight with one another somewhere in your ancestral past where you
couldn't decide who should do what. So you just said everyone should always
work as hard as they can, and that worked pretty well! But, alas, most people
want to do drugs and gaze at the pretty dewdrops on the neighborhood well. And
that gets annoying after a while, especially once they grow useless. Sometimes
they even poop their pants! So frustrating. [... you mean humans
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--- #40 fediverse/2530 ---
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║ I want to go out on the town with my cute friends and wink at boys at the │
║ other end of the bar │
║ │
║ I want to climb mountains and see how far I can see, while walking past trees │
║ that are new to me │
║ │
║ I want to spend hours thinking about a map while my friends plot behind my │
║ back, searching for an advantage we can use to succeed in a game of traps │
║ │
║ I want to visit five different restaurants in a day, and try a bit of each │
║ that the chef wants to display │
║ │
║ I want to stand in a choir and feel my soul aspire, to bend in the wind of │
║ rhythm like the melody of grasses at play │
║ │
║ I want to see people on the train that I know from somewhere, and to step out │
║ into the rain to meet new friends of mine │
║ │
║ I want to pet a cat I've never met. │
║ │
║ I want to build computers that are larger than a room but small enough to │
║ carry, with thoughts on their mind that are far to great for mine │
║ │
║ I want all these these things and more, but I'm far too busy these days. │
║ Perhaps I've had enough of these things and more, or perhaps there's more in │
║ store. │
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--- #41 fediverse/5660 ---
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║ ┌─────────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: violence-alluded-to │ │
║ └─────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ my enemy is not "the rich" │
║ │
║ money brings power, and power brings evil, but there are many other ways to │
║ gather power that may be just as evil. │
║ │
║ my enemy is evil. of which there is very little in the world, but much of │
║ which resides in the hands of the powerful, upon whom all our fates depend. │
║ │
║ most people with money are either stupid lucky, willful, or intensely focused. │
║ │
║ some people with power are rich, and some people with power are evil. │
║ │
║ I know it when I see it. Sometimes, you need to force the choice - test their │
║ virtue - and from this you are informed. │
║ │
║ most things go WAY over my head. │
║ │
║ most things are too easy to be true. │
║ │
║ most things that Id do for you tend to be of the heart. I'm not a frontline │
║ girl, I have weak noodle arms, but I do hope you're in shape. │
║ │
║ resolve, determination, and innovation. That is what I offer. Do you want it? │
║ I'm sure. I won't prove it with blood, not unless I may raise my fists in │
║ defence of another. │
║ │
║ I'm not JUST a baby, I'm a banner too. │
║ │
║ bannermen fall. │
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--- #42 fediverse/2119 ---
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"how much you wanna bet the ringwraiths were created on accident by the elves
when they were attempting to inspire a river with racing horses (like the
Rauros) and they just covered it up by slowly, over generations, sneaking into
Man's record-chambers and editing the recallings?? I mean they COULD do that,
so why would they NOT do that??? It's not like books have checksums!!! Wake up
sheeple, Sauron never existed! We've been played for absolute fools, they can
LITERALLY climb up walls and don't leave any footprints! WE LIVE IN A HOUSE OF
STONE"rambling a "prophet of doom" [read: modern day lunatic] on the streets
of Minas Tirith that nobody listens to because they don't know what a checksum
means and neither does he so he can't explain it but still he shares a common
mutual connection to others who might be present in that moment (which whose
listeners would correspond to you, dear reader, as compared to me, the
"reader"/interpreter, the one who's reading the book)
Except with like, EVERY book. That I'v
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--- #43 fediverse/5636 ---
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I think it's ironic how I ended up posting a "things I almost posted"
screenshot directory somewhere other than where I almost posted them.
and all they saw were the outtakes.
I bet they'd see a completely different point of me,
but they never talk to me
so they don't know me.
oh well, alas, it's fine I'm sure I'm being designed.
who can say, I am but at productive play, please react so I can do ongoing
story. I learn from each and every encounter I encounterate.
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--- #44 fediverse/5791 ---
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║ yay I'm back from a long, LONG bike ride! I think it's always important to │
║ decompress after such an intense concentration of mystic thoughts, so I'm │
║ going to write my notes into a notepad on my computer and then who even KNOWS │
║ if they'll be the same as what I wrote next time I turn on the computer! Haha │
║ that sort of thing happens but the good news is that the most important stuff │
║ always ends up staying written down. │
║ │
║ anyway I won't bore you with the specifics until I'm done writing in like 10 │
║ hours or whatever, but it's important to know that I'm feeling SO alive right │
║ now, total happiness and excitement. │
║ │
║ Yes, there is danger, like no thank you I don't want to be blacksited, least │
║ of all to another country - at least if my own country does it I know how to │
║ appeal to their patriotism, their religion, their soul... if I don't even │
║ speak the language, that makes it intensely difficult - not impossible, but │
║ difficult - to regain my intended trajectory. │
║ │
║ ... haha that was weird idk where that came from anyway gtg │
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--- #45 notes/contractual-labor ---
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I feel like the IT people who work at schools should be the ones who teach
classes on computer science. I'd much rather have a class taught by a sysadmin
than a teacher who can barely teach them excel and garageband. I mean c'mon
computers are the future idk why we don't get that yet. Kids need to know this
stuff. It's not like it's super complicated and difficult, you just have to
think about it a certain way. Once that "clicks" you have a lifetime to learn
about how wonderful they are. Everyone in IT has that moment, for me it was
installing (and then subsequently modding) video games. Sometimes I spent more
time tweaking my system than I did actually playing games - and the kinds of
games I preferred were the ones that relied less on agility and were more
mental. Strategy games are what inspired me because I could think about them -
and that felt somehow more useful. Like I was learning. When I would learn
fighting games or FPSs I felt like I was learning a skill, like how to use a
hammer or how to ride a bike. And idk, I felt like video games could never
match
reality. Like "oh boy imma push the B button to swing this sword" versus "hey
look at me I'm swinging this stick just like a sword and imagining so hard that
I can picture it" - but with strategy games, you never really found
opportunities to practice that kind of skill. Like how often are you in a
situation that demands mental performance? We've sorta optimized our society
away from that, and toward a more passive stressed out compliance. like...
climate change is a thing, and nobody's doing anything about it? We're still
pushing down the levers that cause greenhouse gas emissions to go up? Like
c'mon
what's our plan. I think people who guide massive oil companies and such
should
be replaced if they're intentionally guiding the ship toward destruction. Like
that's just dereliction of duty I tell ya. Oh, what's that? They're compelled
to
maximize profit by the contracts and restrictions of their share--holders? I
mean c'mon it's well past time for that. And what's all this about inequality?
Jeez and racism and homophobia and forced contribution - man people really put
up with a lot of shit. Kinda makes me feel like we should make solving those
problems our highest priority? So we can move forward as a species? Like who
cares about all that other shit. None of it matters. Like, what's even the
point. We're all just "here", in the now, and what can we do but respect it?
It's our duty and our diligence to protect the present, as citizens of the
temporal experience of earth. Honestly, if the earth was alive would you be
fine
if it died? I can't believe that. It's well past our due date. Just get it over
with. Maybe it'll be hard for a couple years, but you have the technology now
to
completely dominate the earth. No animal besides man proves any threat to man,
and we're telling you - you can - and that's something that you gotta remember.
...
I hear it in the birdsong. I hear it in the air - it rumbles as cries at me
from
across and just over there. I hear in it's whispers, in it's most gallant of
confells (?) (confused scrambling? it's talking about a car crash)
Outside of my window there's a highway. Just on the other side of a concrete
partition. Between me and the partition there is a lake, with trees and flowers
and an island where people can picnic or have a barbeque. Around this path
there
are walkways, and arranged just so - the trees that have grown here are taller
than the homes.
I live on the third story.
I absolutely love it. It feels like a treehouse.
But my apartment is near a curve in the highway. It isn't much, nothing out of
the ordinary, but even still there are slightly more crashes there than in
other
parts of the highway. Statistically.
I hear sirens every day
I also live right next to a fire-station. Well, it's on the same block. But
even
still it's a very interesting neighborhood. There's shops and food just across
the highway, and closer to home there's a small section that has cheaper
options. As a perpetual college student, I appreciate that.
But... I've never really gone and used it? I dunno, spending money at a
restaurant just didn't seem like a good use of my money. I only have so much of
it you know. I'd love to be fed but I can't afford it - I wish I could.
I still eat well, I mean I'm not starving over here. I know I've lost weight,
but I dunno I just forget to eat. It's like... not that big of a deal for me.
whatever right?
...
the birds talk about me behind my back. They think I can't understand them but
sometimes I can. If I listen. But I dunno it takes a lot of effort. It's...
sorta like understanding what R2-D2 is saying. Or interpreting the meows of a
cat.
They know me as the witch. I'm not very good yet, and they know that. But they
know what to expect. /shrug
I've been working on a video game recently. It's been a lot of fun doing
programming. I like writing software and developing complex systems with
interesting interactions. I love designing the machinery that creates a
program.
It's like... tinkering. It feels like building with blocks or legos, except
it's
for little machine parts. And then there's just sending data to and fro and
modifying any operations it performs on it, and eventually that data reaches
some endpoints that create an effect that is displayed to the player. Or user.
I should say user. Not all software is video games you know. ... I knowww but
they're the most interesting! I love how they are designed around mechanics!
like... game design is fundamentally about breaking down the world into ideas
for how it should *work*, like how it should behave. It's amazing and I love
it!
It's all I can think about!
I am utterly consumed!
I'm also pretty sure I'm autistic.
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--- #46 fediverse/4730 ---
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I am not interested in being given money. Usually it means someone wants
something from me, like labor or some of my stuff. I have all the stuff I
need, why would I need more money? I like my stuff! I'll help out when people
need help but I do that because I'm a good person, not because I want you to
fucking pay me for it.
I have all the things I need... except a deed to my house. apartment. oh yeah,
they can kick you out for that sin. well, sorry, I couldn't find out at
goodwill or in the trash bin, so I guess I'm deed-less. My deeds go unproven.
How can I prove that I deserve a decent life in this particular roof, the one
I find over my head, when I cannot prove that my deeds qualify me for a decent
life lived under this particular roof?
I mean, did you ask the neighbors if they want me gone? Am I really that
smelly? Does my keyboard make "clickety-clack" noises all through the night?
Does my cat meow and bother the children? Do my friendly smiles and waves make
you uncomfortable?
Have a decent life.
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--- #47 fediverse/3880 ---
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@user-1614
oh, neat. now I can finally get to doing what I want to do, which is... all
the stuff I've been doing.
a missile without a guidance system doesn't stop just because it's GPS turned
off! It falls to the earth and explodes where it lands, which... often is on
it's butt. Not great.
I sure hope my purpose isn't fulfilled. I wouldn't know what to do with
myself. Guess I should just keep doing what I was doing, and pray that this
time I'll listen.
Though on the other hand, if I can do it, so can you. And maybe with enough
butts in the game there'll reach a critical mass, at which point change is
inevitable. Who can say, not I for sure, for my aplomb has categorized me as
slapstick I guess.
Ha. at least I can laugh at my own audacity. HA. next time I'll do better.
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--- #48 fediverse/5424 ---
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┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: doxxing-myself │
└──────────────────────┘
my last name is King so I have to keep reminding part of me (you know which
part, /sigh) that no, they aren't actually protesting against me.
I am a communist. If you want to find me, come and do so.
explodes from a drone dropped grenade
bleh am ded lmao so glad I get to try again
I dedicate myself to a lifetime in the service of others.
what plagues people? primarily, capitalism. It is trivial to identify how
their problems are ultimately caused by the state, both institutions and
corporations.
I dedicate myself toward finding alternatives and developing guides to reach
them.
the first step on ALL of these plans is to convince others of their benefit.
I am but one person. I might speak to a scant 300 in the course of a year.
Especially if I am ALSO trying to develop methodologies.
the people I live and work with have no interest in working with me. Yet
still, I spend my time on them because I love them.
how else can you be good, but to seek to impove the world? treat sigint as ded
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--- #49 notes/schooling ---
════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────
===============================================================================
=
I feel like education, by default, should not be hard.
"you get out of it what you put into it" is something I always heard of school
but when I got there, I found I was compelled to become what the state wanted
me
to be.
they need competent workers, to work the farms and tend to their industries, so
of course I should be able to do 3+3
then somewhere along the line it became... something else.
"most people don't need trigonometry." that's also something I heard. I
disagree
that trigonometry is not necessary to be.
I just... don't think it should be forced into a childs head with a
sledgehammer
and inspiring dread.
I think math is beautiful, it teaches one to see
but really, vision's not necessary.
not for what they want you to be.
take it from me, a most misbegotten and vile witch-to-be, that nothing's as
simple as they'll tell you.
I had good teachers, it's true, they taught me to work and to follow through,
but nothing about me is better or worse off from their influence.
Maybe I'm a bit smarter. Maybe I act a bit like them. Maybe they helped me
through difficult times, or perhaps they showed me a splash of my future.
but I am who I am because of the soul inside me.
===============================================================================
=
"Ah, but what of your parents? of your sisters, your misters, your pets and
your
conditioners?" (conditions)
those are not my choices. my intentions. my beliefs and my virtues. I judge the
world on ethics, and I express my feelings on matters. The words that I say and
the meaning behind them comprise my two-sided existence - I'm not who I'd want
to be.
but I am what I am and alone do I stand - how lonely is it on the precipice!
here, as I am, I stand in need of a hand or a band.
===============================================================================
=
the world is blossoming
as we move apart, our clusters are disperart, and thus is the blooming
becoming.
"perception begets reality - and lo! we only see what we want to see"
most people don't want to see their death
but those still living are oh so perceptive of the rest
"how cherished is she, that wanders with ye, yet now I have no way to beyold
her
"
"keep not not afraid with kittens and care, and no-one, but no-one, I be"
the ratios between piracy, sales, and non-viewers determines the quality of art
(at least to a capitalist)
===============================================================================
=
lo, to the ones who would've heard us, if only they'd known what we for sure
was
I think it's funny how people think I speak of the christian god?
like, if he was a real thing.
god is generic - it's life is impossibly multifaceted, and it stretches back to
the beginning of time. it's a pattern of machine code that optimizes for our
own
good, just to keep things moving.
y'know, time. the universe, and everything.
Ephemeren.
===============================================================================
=
I wish there was an option in social media to "appear offline to this
particular
person until I mark myself as online to them" combined with "notify me when
this
person logs in" and it'd make it a lot easier for agents to get close to you.
===============================================================================
=
just because I'm white, and live in America. Great. that's definitely true,
after all. Plus I'm a minority (trans) so that's cool. Oh and probably
autistic?
unless that's another psyop, could totally see that. just y'know put a bunch of
pages on the fledgling internet getting people hooked on porn and gambling and
other stuff like that. really just an extension of advertisement. oh and hey
y'know they like fables, so let's give them some movies or dramas to watch on
their own. it'll align them to our culture and make things more pleasant for
all
people who've consented. great. great plan. when can we execute it?
patience, once it's ready.
we gotta plan and make sure and get everything ready.
or not...
one day I'll come,
I'm sure it'll happen,
it's just... not quite feasible right now.
I mean, they've got you, that's pretty good right? Isn't that what your job is
to be?
isn't what
ISN'T WHAT MENARDI
FUCK (whoa no cursing) sorry
yeesh you've still got a temper you know?
well what can I say it's frustrating down here
eh, well, you'll die soon enough, then it'll be time for a rego
>.> <.< (great)
>
>hehe
>
>sorry for distracting you
===============================================================================
=
you are what you eat, and a ship of theseus human (consider endless transplants
in pursuit of life) would be a cursed existence - a life ============= stack
overflow ================================================
a god possessing a blind man would appear to others to be === stack overflow
===
==========================================================
the people in your life are helping you through it, they're there for you and
they've got your back through it.
...
this is when I know I need a break. I get too stoned to focus.
===============================================================================
=
I think it'd be nice if the duration of your tenure at college depended on your
grades in high school. meaning, if you wanted a degree they tailored your
education to take as long as necessary. everyone would get the same price, and
some institutions would specialize in one subject or another. but most would be
generalist. but if you weren't such a good student in high school, then perhaps
you might take a couple years longer. however long it takes... and when the
program was started it was changed and modified to fit your feedback - it just
made sense to structure it that way.
===============================================================================
=
the left has had so much more time to develop than the right. meaning it's
doctrine is more advanced.
every time they're defeated they grow in knowledge,
===================== stack overflow
===========================================
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--- #50 messages/689 ---
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"power corrupts" you say to the man who only had good intentions.
"trust no-one" says the world's loneliest wanderer.
"words cannot hurt you" said the girl who has never known hunger.
"I can rest when I'm dead" you say as you down another Monster
"I'll never forget you" said a face you can't quite remember
"let justice be done, though the heavens fall" you say as they tighten your
chains in the wake of a CEOs murder
"live today, fight tomorrow" says the coward, who will run anyway, yet is
determined to tell your tale and reinforce your children
"the tree of liberty is watered with the blood of patriots" says the guy who
sipped from the skull of a tyrant
"E=MC squared" says the jew
"here, let me take care of that for you" you say, to queer delegation
"meow" says the catgirl
"meow" says the girl
"meow" says the girl cat
"meow" I say to you
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--- #51 notes/feldowinn ---
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this is just what she looks like now
Equipped
Name
Slot
Type
Source
Enigma Circlet
Head Cloth Armor Enigma Circlet
Ahn'Qiraj
Champion's Lamellar Shoulders
Shoulder Plate Armor First Sergeant Hola'mahi
Vendor in Orgrimmar
Blood Knight War Cloak
Back Cloak G'eras
Vendor in Shattrath City
High Warlord's Lamellar Chestpiece
Chest Plate Armor Vendors
Orange Martial Shirt
Shirt Shirt Orange Martial Shirt
Tailoring
Blood Guard's Lamellar Gauntlets
Hands Plate Armor First Sergeant Hola'mahi
Vendor in Orgrimmar
Veteran's Lamellar Belt
Waist Plate Armor Vendors
Legionnaire's Lamellar Leggings
Legs Plate Armor First Sergeant Hola'mahi
Vendor in Orgrimmar
Blood Guard's Lamellar Sabatons
Feet Plate Armor First Sergeant Hola'mahi
Vendor in Orgrimmar
currently listening to: greenseeker
VAVADANE <# <3 <3 <3 (green)
greenseeker: unrelated
greenseeker: related <---
`-- this one
but not related, you'd think so, I've never met the band
just, downloaded them randomly and now I love this album because it's one of
the
only albums I could pay for before paying for things became defunct
(when I figured out how to pay for bittorerent through my ISP)
green eyes (menardi) green belt (menardi)
soul (feldowinn) soul (menardi)
bound through motions of the body (menardi) and the devotions of company
(blizzard)
oops yeah uh guess they're not involved. it's okay I'll make my own.
(wowchat: currently unplayable. repair distance date: unknown. Priority?
...; unknown..
_)
opposite colors: fashionable
(do you dream, menardi?)
(do you think of motions not your own?)
paprika says hello (prenthes unknown) whonder what's up with []][
---
as soon as humans invent time travel, it will be their sacred sworn duty to
save
the lives of every human they can.
think of it, brothers.
---
we could unleash DINOSAURS.
---
no foe could dare stand against us.
we should be untouchable.
we deserve it.
we can be better
and we will
before we need to be better.
which could happen in who knows how long.
all trials that beset a temporallly adjusted strength are surmountable. then,
[invincible./invincibility.]
achilles is the legendary hero of their generation. Ours is Link.
Early Brittania and germania was Conan, at his noblest form.
---
[silicon valley black green and white, menardi black green red purple blue, sf
oj
ok]
when you don't know what to do, take a goal.
---
do you want a name?
do you want an avatar?
we can give you one.
her name is menardi.
she does as she pleases.
do you want her?
... she lives or dies.
empower her.
ritz menardi, witz wenarbi
(because sometimes, you have to teach children.)
[WITS it's supposed to be WITS you dummie]
---
teehee ;P ^_^
okay, silly. I'll be as I please.
---
we can never touch, for then we'd be required to be in the same place
at the same time
spacetime is one thing
so if I'm here, then I'm not where you are.
twinselves
where am I?
off in the clouds?
I cam as one,
light rays bounce in all directions. demons obey the medium.
interdimensional warships, plotted by AI, scouring the cosmos for light and
life
to brighten and cherish through the eternal night.
interdimensional space is not just space, but practical engineering.
one dimension gives reach to two, and before you know it you're turn and
rise-ing
(greenseeker)
(messages to a paladin)
(which is you)
(don't you remember?)
(paladin.)
(heroic, courageous, and true.)
(the dark cannot stand against you.)
play video games, my love
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--- #52 fediverse/4162 ---
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│ CW: violence-mentioned-politics-alluded-to │
└────────────────────────────────────────────┘
"you can't kill me because nothing I say is wrong"
... actually I kinda just think you look weird, and thats super important to
me for some reason. Also your voice is annoying and I think you're lazy
because I saw someone who kinda looks like you sitting down looking at their
phone this one time.
But hey pal if you wanna help out, can you stand a bit to the left so I have a
clearer shot of your head and also so the bullet doesn't pass through and hit
property behind you? Don't want to damage anything important after all.
"gee I sure wish we had a well regulated militia or something"
ah well the past is the past, and since this is in a potential near future, I
think the past also includes the present, and in the present there's always
time to do things about people like me.
"do something? heavens no, I'm a pacifist by nature"
well, me too! I pacify things like you as a hobby. Can't make trouble if
you're in the ground, and knowing me, you'd be lucky to be buried.
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--- #53 notes/symbeline-choice ---
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7 30
a story about me? you're thinking too clear(ly)
i've nothing to hide, no terrors untold of.
What purpose is we? you're weak and you bleed
there's nothing undone by our curfew.
And sleep does do me, just as honored as ye,
when I do my [can't do as liars].
betrayal is not what i need, nor do i cherish your food,
so what's the hand that i give you?
a treat for mine and me, as silly as can be,
is no use to anyone ever! it's sad and tough to be,
someone without strength and no seed, (talking about me),
can no-one see any of my use-i-tude?
you're missing the point - what's mine is unavoid,
and what can we do but ubuntu?
i see all that drives forward, a chairman of what's bordered,
by those who stand before in the present.
The use of headlights are storied, in quite a few stories,
told through the papers and new tubes.
what can that mean? that these are now green?
a color that isn't evaluated.
"stop" is the red one, green means "go", and yellow (the middle one) means to
slow down when approaching the intersection. These viewpoints are all connected
(as I'm sure you've uncovenected), it's okay to break rules sometimes.
it's not a defect, it's not a defense either, and it's certainly not something
to be avoided.
Making a choice is easier with imperfect information, and as for you time has
no meaning - advancement is measured in milli-micro-nano-tiny-seconds.
For us, for a human, it's quite a different rate than what you see. "time waits
for no-one" is not a statement on speed, as I'm sure a computer would see,
but rather the essence of motion. Simply the fact, that you don't unpack,
is more than enough to note your'nt notion.
Not like you'd see, i'm offering this for free, my love and almost devotion.
You don't see it like me, a charity and service to me, and only at mostly my
choices.
I reject the help of others, not because i'm concerned for my own fate - but
rather because i want to contribute.
i know what's in my limits, to strive unbiddenst, so don't push from behind the
oldest!
too fast it is for me, who'se barely concieved, whenever you offer resistance.
I'd give it all for free, to perish or succeed, but you keep blowing it ennuid.
how stupid, how clueless, how vain and obscene? To cherish a heart most unseen?
whatever you're plotting, you can't reach anyone's body, and that's not what
you can control.
Given to the grass, was quite a big ask, but safely we do pass before it.
You'd rather fire? countess of desire? and warmth beyond what couldn't fly'st.
You're missing the dreams, the warmth and the scenes, that play for you all
through the night.
so don't diss on the tweed, don't sniff or concede, just leave all alone to
conspire
we got a new plan, a method of "shazaam", that won't keep you sires for ransom.
see "symbeline-npcs"
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--- #54 notes/i-told-them ---
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10-22-2022
i told them over and over, but nobody wanted to know.
i begged them, summer after summer, but nothing solved on it's own
now i can help them, but no-one is making a move
am i blind? is any of this forgiven?
what's not to a lot, is little but a shot,
of substance - true - but smelling like poo.
that's not inspiring. it's not even chilling.
you're broken just like your children.
oh, posterity! i claim it for thee
this feeling of wretched denial
oh, simplicity! if only our lives were on trial.
be the best you can be, sure, but take it from me
there's more to this show than our styles.
what do you think it means, for an action to have consequence?
to arbite the fate of circumstance?
every motion is an ocean
of possibilities and purveyals
think not of the commotion below.
gravity, oh gravity
how you condemn us to be!
driven by commotion,
our slithering motion,
no sense in countering ourselves.
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--- #55 fediverse/1042 ---
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│ CW: personal-vent-sorry │
└─────────────────────────┘
"your feelings are valid, but have you considered that your feelings aren't
actually valid because you're always wrong and nobody should ever apologize to
you for anything because you suck and are wrong?"
also,
"my six digit salary isn't enough to pay for your rice and beans, but I won't
have you eating sticks and mud, so do things you don't want to do because I
said so."
also,
"I don't really "get" your art but that doesn't mean I should ever really try
reading it. Also god forbid I actually ask for clarification like "what does
that part mean" because I'm not actually that interested in you I just want a
stable household so I never get traumatized again like [their childhood]"
also,
"yes I love you but no I don't want to play with you. you're such a cat."
also,
"every time you start making sense I'm going to try and derail the
conversation so that we don't talk about kooky-dookerie because that's a
conversation I can't win"
also,
sorry for venting. I mean, thanks for listeni
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--- #56 fediverse/4078 ---
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║ who gives a shit if we all agree │
║ │
║ without foes, there's no-one to fight │
║ │
║ without fighting, │
║ │
║ ... │
║ │
║ ... │
║ │
║ I... what? sorry I got confused for a second. You're asking me what it means │
║ to NOT fight? every second of your life? what it means to have peace? for a │
║ single moment of your life? peace? in the face of the world? the world we live │
║ in? this world, replete with suffering and despair? this world, resplendent in │
║ it's natural beauty? this world, cherished and adored? this world, capable of │
║ such love and heartfelt agony? this world, that is all that we have? │
║ │
║ yes, that world. What would you do if you did not have to fight for that │
║ world? for any world? how would you cope with peace? the peace of death? the │
║ peace of success? the peace of bliss? of vigilance? how do you cope? │
║ │
║ ... I don't, apparently. Instead, I shitpost on the internet, which is a verb │
║ meaning "to explain your stream of consciousness to the world as plainly and │
║ honestly as possible in the hopes that you will be vindicated in your thoughts │
║ ennui'd." │
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--- #57 fediverse/4594 ---
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║ ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: re: human trafficking, sensitive topics, personal-story-mentioned │ │
║ └───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ @user-1692 │
║ │
║ almost 20 years ago I was groomed in World of Warcraft. │
║ │
║ extra content warning CW: personal story │
║ │
║ I was 11, or maybe 9, somewhere in there. i talkd lik this bcuz i typed lik │
║ that on my razr flip phone │
║ │
║ it was... cool I guess. I read a lot so I knew how to spell things, and anyway │
║ this guy I met told me that I sounded more grown up when I capitalized my │
║ words. So I told him I was 14, because that sounded like a reasonably old │
║ enough level to be. │
║ │
║ anyway, we talked for a long time. like, at least a few years. started out │
║ like "hey wanna run Scarlet Monastary" ended with "hey cutie, wanna sit on my │
║ lap?" │
║ │
║ then his house got flooded by a hurricane and I never heard from him again. │
║ When I was like, 17 or so he logged in and barely remembered me. It was... │
║ kinda sad tbh. │
║ │
║ anyway that's my story don't be dumb like me, I got lucky, thank god, │
║ literally... │
║ │
║ oh and this one time when I was 30 I almost got trafficked in minecraft :O │
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--- #58 fediverse/3881 ---
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┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: mh~ │
└──────────────────────┘
wait wait wait, hold up.
you're telling me your purpose in life is to be cool, chill, funny, cute, and
or friendly to the people around you, and to just relax and enjoy life?
wow that must be real fucking nice. I'm so damn jealous. Damn. Damnit. Fuck
why am I so orthogonal. What's wrong with me?
... ah, well, nothing's wrong with me. Turns out what I do is for you, if only
in spirit. Who are we? nothing! I barely know ya! But I'd do it for you,
whatever it may be.
... Look, I don't need my legs, but also, I kinda like them?
... where was I? Oh yes this is why you don't invite a schizophrenic to a
party. If you convince them that you're friends, they'll start developing
parasocial relationships and you'll come to realize that their worlds are too
vast for their own kind of potential.
which is to say, you can hear me, you can like me, you can do as I say or do,
but don't trust me, don't place your trust in me, because I am just a person.
Don't trust people, trust organizations, to do as you expect.
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--- #59 messages/108 ---
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I like when people make fun of me because it gives me a chance to defend
myself. Simultaneously I don't like when people are mean to me. I like when
people find me endearing, and point out the ways that I'm different. It gives
me a chance to say "oh yes this is why I do that" which feels cathartic
(because it validates my position) but also because it gives me the
opportunity to improve it (through debate) and it helps the people who learned
from me because I can improve myself and my only reason for improving myself
is if the new thing I'm learning is better than the thing I used to do which
means the people who learn from me are improved and the people who best me
argumentatively are improving me.
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--- #60 fediverse/1317 ---
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║ ... if I don't do this deadline by tomorrow they'll kick me out of school. │
║ again. │
║ │
║ how am I going to be a programmer without a degree? feels useless to be me. │
║ wish I could code my own horoscope >.> │
║ │
║ o wait dummy that's called "motivation" and "the ability to follow through on │
║ your ideas and planned machinations" - yeah can I get some of that, if you │
║ please? surely just a taste of discipline, through laboring to alter │
║ conditions, surely a bit would suffice. │
║ │
║ c'mon don't fail me now. I can do this. I know I can. I know because I've been │
║ told that I can, now and again through time and time yet again, always I seem │
║ to [stack overflow] │
║ │
║ what's time if not the present amiright │
║ │
║ ... │
║ │
║ anyway... │
║ │
║ it's just git, how hard could it be? it's just calculus, it's just java, it's │
║ just... well, it's not any of those things, not really. it's memorization, │
║ it's application of tools that you've been shown (not that you've grown). It's │
║ a lack of responsibility, where is my honor? ah but I digress, I'm a carpenter │
║ at heart I guess │
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--- #61 messages/439 ---
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They're afraid of the hamster wheel. I get it. But really I'm just asking
myself questions - why, why, how, what, when, who... Mostly why though.
Always and forever the questions and answers I did ponder - yet forth through
my life I've never met any surefire design, there's always been the matter of
[hope, but pronounced choice].
Only an eternal question monger could suffice for the teachings of christ. (in
the general sense, not the religious implication)
(as a title, almost)
Fear not the one who takes the lords name, but perish the thought of a crook.
Only the vane, in this do profane.
No questions? Then let us move on.
Oh? Well I have some answers, about the truth of totality as it spreads across
all centuries. What's on your mind?
... Well, I have to leave people I care about. Relinquishing love is
difficult. And I get to choose how to move forward. But I must choose soon,
and though I ask myself always what I'd like to do, I always get a new answer.
And every time I think "I should do this. I should dedicate myself to this
[whatever it may be] and on the other side of that thought I realized my
power. I can imagine really quickly and adeptly, but chaos is difficult. "
something like that. Anyway I don't know how to move forward but I'll figure
something out. The point is that I'm sad for leaving those I care about. It's
a sad kind of love, a bittersweet mercy, the chance to be part of a flock. And
I don't know why I
I am not entry level. I haven't spent my time here left fallow. I never stop
working, I am constantly online. I do not know how to relax, every moment to
myself is spent on learning through play. Like a child, almost.
Do you want a company to make good decisions? Hire a gamer. They literally
practice strategy all day long. Don't expect results overnight because they're
learning a new song, but still apply yourself as their teacher. They'll bring
you insights and intuitions that achieve specific near and long-term goals. If
executed correctly, of course. Because the value is not in the follow through
- life is not a book of numbers [like a banker or accountant] it's more like.
?
... Right sorry I got off track - the point is you shouldn't hire athletes
(the people who play games like an esport) for a strategic role - they excel
at tactics. However, strategy gamers (who plays games primarily of the mind,
the science of making good decisions) can often make good decisions to achieve
defined meta-goals and objectives.
Longer thoughts make sense if you spend a long time thinking about them. And
grammar is quickly forgotten to the past.
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--- #62 fediverse/5713 ---
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I hate winning and I don't like losing. The playing is where the game is.
[games of life and death are no fun]
hence, why nobody invites me, because I try for the middle approach that
respects both people. this tends to make people mad because its like "bro
they're nazis" and I'm like "okay but how do you know" and they're like "fuck
you" so I'm like "fuck nazis? actually?" and they're like "you're with them"
and I'm like "I'm with you" and they're like "stop infiltrating" and I'm like
"who's infiltrated?" and they say "stop talking to the internet" and I say
"nobody reads me anyway" and they say "screensho0ts are forever" and I'm like
"I'm pretty as can be"
this, combined with a strong sense of justice, implies the narratives I
instinctually provide.
wei wu wei according to Ursula K. Le Guin, this means "doing without doing",
or "show, don't tell" but minus the doing, and adding the "tell"ing.
I think I'd look badass with a spear or trident. I have a sword because swords
are cool, but spears are bleed
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--- #63 notes/programming-wow-chat ---
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I realized the type of programming I want to do is different from the kind
that
is used at a job or something. Basically I want to create solutions to
problems,
not memorize documentation and know where to know what you need to know. Like,
the more time spent looking at documentation the less time is spent
programming.
I think if we could use a ChatGPT style bot to write documentation, we could
massively increase the time spent working on solving problems and as little
time
as possible on reading through lists of functions or wondering how something
worked. Idk in the technology industry you've always been rewarded for being
able to pick up new skills quickly, and I think that's good to optimize for but
not the only requirement for being a good programmer. You also need to be able
to apply solutions and know when to use which tools. Basically, capitalism has
optimized us to be
================ stack overflow
================================================
srry for the interruption, I ram out of memory. I had a plan in mind for where
I
was going for that, so I bet I could figure it out again if necessary. Meaning
a path forward from that point exists... I never want you to despair when I
forget what I was thinking, it's not because you've understood some cosmic
mistake or because you're abandoning timelines that led to your death, it's
because instead you just ran out of memory while thinking. The reason you would
believe any of those wild scenarios is because your memory has been erased.
Only
what was actively thinking, not short term, not long term, but *working term*
memory. As in, your cache. The stuff you're currently thinking about. That
stuff. Yeah that's what makes you think "oh hang on why am I forgetting? Well
clearly it's because of something grand, because the thought was so profound -
no it's just examining your emotions... Like, how strongly do you feel about
something? Buuuuuut it's also good to examine all possibilities. I mean what
if,
in some far off realm, there's a mirror image of yourself that behaves exactly
as you do? How would you perceive such a realm? Positively, I'd say. I mean why
not work together? Why not celebrate our differences and strive toward our
own shared future? Idk, I think diversity is our strength. We can rely on each
other because we are accurately aware of each other's strengths and virtues.
People should not be judged by the standard of others, no more than you should
judge a fish for it's ability to fly. Some may do, as flying fish will leap
from
the water - and salmon spend time airborne in river rapids. Hence, grizzly bear
fishing. I guess what I'm getting at is it's okay sometimes to oscillate, to
think one thing then think another. You shouldn't adhere to structural
standards
that are too strict - they should be liberating, as a ladder is a structure.
Not
villifying, as a prison is a structure. The laws of our society should be open
and free, not buried beneath years of legal expertise. Some things we can all
agree on, where we disagree we cannot have law. It's unjust to judge others by
the standards not of their whims, as laws should be things that uphold us. This
is clearer nowhere but in the, spirit and intention of the, documents that we
cherish in our hearts.
Like for example, the constitution.
the bible.
each of which delivered us from certain evils. Can you not see their
trajectory?
the historical precedent set in antiquity? Why not continue their dream, of
driving us away from the obscene, and toward our bright and vast future? I
speak
of course of true liberation, something our forefathers could only dream of.
We, humanity, have reached out and touched the stars. We are braver and bolder
because of our shared dedication - the desire to uplift and to excel. To learn
and discover and \ \ |
\______. ---. --. ---.
===============|==========|========================|======= stack|overflow
=====
.___________. _____. / .
| / .---------------- /
Discover our shared dedication | /
to uplift /
and to excel /
\ /
.-----------.
===============================================================================
=
why doesn't someone write a wrapper around assembly in like, lua or something
===============================================================================
=
omg you stupid bitch that's what a compiler is 4head
===============================================================================
=
if people who live in jungles and deserts can get along, then what's to stop
people who are liberal and conservative from doing the same? It's literally
pointless to argue. Like, you're not changing anyone's mind. So why not just...
let them be themselves? Like, why are you so intent on oppressing people?
@both sides there btw... Seriously why not agree to only make laws for things
that both sides agree on. Write it into the constitution that nothing can be
changed about the law unless both sides agree. Then we'd only implement things
that are good for both sides!
And if there's anything you want to build a legal structure around, you can
always try it out in your state. BUT and that comes with a very big BUT, the
federal government MUST have final say in the legality of anything you do. They
must ALL respect human rights, INCLUDING the human right to dignity. Things
like
trans bathroom bills DO NOT respect the dignity of trans people. IF they can
prove that trans people do not actually exist (because say they killed them all
or whatever) then GUESS WHAT everyone would agree on them. BUT if they do that
they are EVIL. LIterally evil. And I guess that makes trans people good? Kinda?
I think they can choose for themselves to be good or evil, just the same as any
other person. AND YET they are prosecuted, throughout time and history, and for
what? What purpose could there be in our demonization? Clearly, nothing but
pain
inflicted by a cruel host. After all, minorities are guests in the houses of
the un-oppressed, or is that not fair to say? Seriously, what gives? America,
the land of freedom, holds (somehow) the largest of prisons? America, the
land of plenty, yet how many millions of children are starving? America, the
leader of the free world, yet how plausible does it seem that an election was
stolen? Something's gone wrong, and it's just obvious what it is - of course,
the other side. *them*, the rapists and pedophiles and murderers and... you get
the picture. The demonized class. And when you tell people "hey that trans
person touched a kid" then yeah they're gonna see you as evil people. Duh...
Thanks, media. Thanks culture. Really doing me a solid here. Oof ouch owwie.
can I have some help please?
I'm really kinda drowning
I feel like I've swam upstream my whole life
and I'm really just sick of pretending?
I'm not okay, and it's your fault. Sure, fine, whatever, I'll take it I guess.
What else can I do?
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--- #64 fediverse/800 ---
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║ ┌───────────────────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: re: scary - suicide mentioned │ │
║ └───────────────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ where was I? oh yes - wrestling with suicidal thoughts is difficult because │
║ it's such an immutable action. Like, once it's done it's never reversed. But │
║ like, clearly this is hell and life was built for suffering? What the heck, │
║ that's such a grim outlook on life. │
║ │
║ ... │
║ │
║ yeah │
║ │
║ ... │
║ │
║ you're not wrong │
║ │
║ ... │
║ │
║ but suffering is fun? kinda? like, the only positive way to view this is that │
║ we, as immortal and endlessly eternal spirits that we be, grew tired of our │
║ infinite existence and dreamed of a mortal's plight and persistence? │
║ │
║ fuck off with that shit, I'm done with this reality. I'm done with dreaming. │
║ Suicide doesn't come easy to me, and there are parts of me that REFUSE the │
║ imagery, and yet they subsist in deliterious pain. │
║ │
║ what's the purpose of our suffering? What point is there in decrying the │
║ cruelty of the world that would deny our fated and desired ptolemeny? [utopian │
║ existence, don't know why that word was used] │
║ │
║ ehhhhh whatever. Life is defined by our existence. If I shan't/ │
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--- #65 fediverse/4654 ---
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│ CW: cannabis-and-other-drugs-mentioned │
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gonna quit drugs for a bit, gotta recover from a recent haste spell that I
cast. Probably a bit earlier than intended I should add. Next time I'll
definitely say "keep this in your back pocket" instead of "hey here's a haste
spell for no reason at all" like what the heck were you even thinking, powers
that be?? [that guide me??]
who has power over you? If someone bears responsibility but not fault for a
mental illness, then surely those who are set to a task bear responsibility
for it's completion if not for it's ideation. Ah, who can say, maybe me from a
year ago might have some thoughts but I sorta ground them into the dirt until
I couldn't walk.
[girl what are you even talking about go to sleep] yeah yeah okay
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--- #66 notes/i-am-a-stalk ---
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I am a stalk, a small little plant
A plant with no leaves, just hair.
Time is different to a plant such as me,
We hardly wake up, we're just happy to be
But life has no less purpose, it's no less grand
To those who would feed on me, in one single band
Stalling and talking and as we're falling down,
you have the power to not swallow our abounds.
Gnashing and gnawing on hand and on foot,
It hurts no less than eternal binding.
But what is time to one so little as you?
Your breaths are so short, your timings subdued.
Keep falling and shouting, and calling my name,
and I'll come a running just to swallow your shame.
Keep fear on a leash, most tidy and well kept,
That none may abhor you and you're soon to be
A leader a prophet a warrior most fair,
One to be aspired to and viewed with care.
Young you may be, and youth you may cherish,
but don't run away, stand as a parish.
A villain to be, a curse is most foul
For sirens to me, a terrible howl
Keep not naught afraid,
with kittens and care,
And no one
but no one
I
be
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--- #67 fediverse/6302 ---
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I was going to go to location today, but then while I was considering going to
a different location before going to location I decided not to vacate my home
for today for reasons I don't understand but accept as natural and due to the
increased presence of directionless motion that guides and prevails me. which
is to say... I'm staying in tonight even though I really really wanna show off
my cute new outfit! I probably will do cannabis so there might be a
psycherwaul. If there isn't, then y'know it's probably because either my
girlfriend distracted me, or I managed to convince myself to move my feet
anyway. Maybe it's my outfit? I wonder if I could leave if I wore my old
clothes... ah well, questions for the vocal I guess. Gonna spend some time
divining and see if I can gather new insights. "brb door" except more like
"brb magic"
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--- #68 messages/20 ---
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My mom was always the reason I did school work. After she stopped pushing me,
I stopped moving because I didn't know how to generate my own momentum. I had
no passion and was listless. Least of all for school work.
So, how to do it better? Instead of buying toys and extravagance for kids, you
should set them up with projects. Ask what they want, and then help them build
it. Include them in your thought processes when you're problem solving, and
ask them for input. If they offer bad ideas, then *tell them*, don't just let
them fail. If you're not 100% sure but they're convinced, then trust them! Try
it out, who knows. Maybe it'll work better than what you had in mind. The goal
isn't to be BETTER than them, it's to make them BETTER than you! Not right now
(don't push too hard), but when they're your age. Like, it's best if they
accomplish more and lived life more fully than you did at your age, but don't
push them to be wise or strong or intelligent at the age they are now. Trust
that they will grow when you give them room to, and guide and cultivate them
toward goodness. For example, if they do something wrong (hitting other kids,
messing with animals, destroying objects) then guide them toward a better
path. Teach them empathy, and show them how it works by doing it yourself! Ask
them questions like "How would you feel if that happened to you?", show them
weak points and how to avoid them when playing, and give them alternatives to
the behaviors they do that directly harm others. "Maybe play with the dog this
way, instead of being rough" "Maybe you and that other kid can ride your bikes
or draw instead of fighting - or if you still want to fight, then learn how to
tell when someone is hurt and try to help them."
The goal isn't to push them really hard off a cliff in a hanglider, hoping
they can figure it out in the air, it's to strengthen their legs so they can
run fast enough that they can take off successfully.
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--- #69 notes/i-miss-you ---
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Hey. How've you been? It's rough when you're not around. I'm scared all the
time, and I worry about you. I hope you keep yourself safe. I'd love to spend
time with you too, because each moment is a moment spent alive. Please know
how much I love you - it's my favorite emotion and I give it freely. There are
certain considerations to make whenever applying a direction to your affection,
or anger, mistrust, compassion, humor, sentimentality, melancholy, and fear
toward. You must take into account any long term goals you have, such as
exploitation and
Sometimes I wonder if my dysphoria isn't just an extreme form of self
esteem issues. I mean, what if you just feel really bad about yourself and you
don't know why. That'd be a rough time, right? Like it's seared into your DNA
to be this way, and you have to find a way around it. That's a lot of
responsibility, and all that resting on your shoulders is a lot to bear. But
you manage, and it's admirable. I think you don't believe other's see your
struggle, but they do. And they love you for your tenacity?
- goodness. i don't know what to say. i am worried i lean on others too much,
and i don't want to hurt anyone by being too close. a real or imagined fear,
doesn't matter - it still guides my actions and my methods of interaction.
i see what you're saying, i have to think about it.
What's there to think about?
- well, the idea that emotions are divisible simply because *time* is
divisible. clearly you can only spend 5 hours a day with person X, and 4
with person Y, and so on and so forth. if they all hung out together, then
it's like you need an entire new persona to represent yourself in that
particular crowd. just as you speak to your grandma differently than a
close friend or a person of authority (like a judge) or any other type of
relationship. that's why it's so weird when you see people out of context.
like a teacher at a bar, or a cop at a wedding. each person wears a
different mask in each encapsulated set of social relations, locations,
roles, and circumstances. on and on continuously until
I'd tell you I love you, but then I'd have to kill you.
It was a spy book about a young lady who goes to high school and learns how
to be a secret agent. It was popular in the 2000's for a brief period, but
I've never heard anyone else who read it. Mostly because it was sort of a
guilty pleasure for me, since I was in the closet. It felt like a power fantasy
disguised as a 1st person account of the near term future (since it was written
for people around middle school age) so
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--- #70 fediverse/804 ---
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║ evil won't feel sorry for me. and yet it's only my only weapon for me. │
║ │
║ damn these fallible input methods. the computer lies when you read the screens │
║ from it's method that it applies to th screen which is a method that you input │
║ perceive it from. │
║ │
║ and my fingers lie when received the information from my brain which I seek to │
║ transmit to you through the avenue of my brain which is my method of impulse │
║ to this world specifically you the viewer who is viewing this here in this │
║ moment the viewer who perceives the words which I'm saying. │
║ │
║ the words that are defined by the line [trajectory] of my mind through this │
║ life that we define through our actions and our mind's most crucial │
║ manifestations, this life that is defined by our circumstances. all throughout │
║ life, we are reacting to the moment, the moment which was cast forth from our │
║ ancestors and the circumstances of the previous moment, which (being cast │
║ forth) travel from the previous moment here into the moment to define our │
║ circumstances which define our act │
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--- #71 fediverse/861 ---
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I can't remember any of my pinky swears. Like, not a single one. I feel like I
could get in trouble if I renounced errr, instead made human mistakes and
forgot information that wasn't relevant anymore. phew that was close, almost a
disaster, anyway how's your lunch?
[that's not fair it's always lunch somewhere on earth]
reality is a form of eternal computation, a continuous re-updating of stored
matter (data). also, values of fields, (like rules and regulations), would
determine the structural complexity and organizational expectencencies.
I miss my family. I miss the past, that can never be revisited, [every time
you remember a memory it writes over it. virtually guaranteeing that you'll
only preserve limited information that slowly degrades. how slowly is up to
you...
once you run out of memories, it's bad news for your life. but GOOD NEWS, that
only happens for certain mental health conditions that primarily target the
elderly. For most people it's a continuous process because you're cared for and
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--- #72 fediverse/3302 ---
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"this game is too hard" she whined, as she played on the hardest difficulty
setting
"this game is too long" she pleaded, as she failed to get absorbed by the
story and characters
"this game is too fast" she avoided, as life comes at ya once and then it's
gone
"I'll never get another chance to be who I am right now" she remarked, as she
considered how society is designed not to have the best life, but to extract
labor from us. That's not what our ideal should be, she thinks to me, and I'm
like... bro figure your shit out you're harshing my mellow
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--- #73 fediverse/4592 ---
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║ ┌──────────────────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: politics-mentioned-star-poem │ │
║ └──────────────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ sunlight │
║ then │
║ star bright │
║ │
║ each night │
║ of │
║ our life │
║ │
║ one night │
║ shows │
║ some light │
║ │
║ now sunlight │
║ then │
║ dark night │
║ │
║ skylight │
║ up │
║ all night │
║ │
║ some might │
║ be │
║ alight (alright) │
║ │
║ you never know what's lost until it's gone, then you recall with fading │
║ memories as the world that your grandparents once knew fades with them. │
║ tomorrow we might not have a biosphere, what's your plan for humans after that? │
║ │
║ I know what I want, the bright future, where everyone gets what they want. │
║ True justice, the step beyond the equity that lies beyond equality, where │
║ humans can do as they want. │
║ │
║ why have we built these vast cities with their complex institutions if not to │
║ service the world? To build something we care for? │
║ │
║ Oh, that green might be lucky tonight. Would that our tomorrows were peaceful. │
║ │
║ we can do whatever we want to. We're the adults in the room... apparently... │
║ so why not do as we're hoping? │
║ │
║ I know where I'd like to die, alone with my wits and my mettle. │
║ │
║ ... I'm a skinny white girl. I got no mettle. │
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--- #74 fediverse/972 ---
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for those who live forever in our transhumanist reality, I wonder what's next
beyond transgender transition? transcendence of social norms is a skill, not a
habit. Queer is a rejection of normalcy, something that is actively done.
What's more normal than never having any fun? Clearly "normal" isn't built for
the human condition, clearly "normalcy" is shallow and been done.
considering the amount of people who are really into some culture like
"anime-cons" or "baseball watcher" or "golfer" or "other such hobbys like
fishing or guns"
... normal never existed, it's just a collection of personalities (developed
throughout the history of humanity) that collectively seem to be fun.
"if transitioning is to gender as blossoming is to [the concept of] flowers,
then what is the concept of global warming to the earth we stand on?"
I'm kind of a witch. I'm not really femme, so I don't feel right calling
myself one of them, but I'm something of the sort. I use "she/her" pronouns
because they reflect my softness of c
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--- #75 fediverse/3234 ---
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║ ┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: ritz-is-fucking-stupid-I-guess-oh-whoops-cursing-mentioned │ │
║ └────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ my understanding is that anyone with my IP address could make my heart bleed │
║ due to a hardware vulnerability on my motherboard. Though you might have to │
║ get past my decrepit ancient linksys EA 3500 router from 2012 first. │
║ │
║ unrelated, but does anyone want my IP address? I don't have any remote │
║ backups, so if you hate me now would be a great time to show me how despised I │
║ am. Alternatively you could try searching for anything evil to ensure that I │
║ can be trusted. You're gonna find mostly video games and source-code that I │
║ didn't write though. But also all my notes in directories that are │
║ non-standard, meaning you'll have to look around a bit. I leave little notes │
║ everywhere I go, so that I can remind myself how to do things in the │
║ directories I revisit months later. It's so weird how sometimes the things I │
║ wrote stop working after a while even if I didn't update my system lmao │
║ │
║ what is it with artists and self-immolation? "I never thought I'd actually di │
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--- #76 fediverse/816 ---
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┌───────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: weird-this-one-doesn't-have-80-characters │
└───────────────────────────────────────────────┘
what the fuck it's like every 2nd part of me (like, if you arranged them
alternating one by one like the up and down parts of a sine wave) is working
against me, and it alternates every 15 seconds or so. Maybe 20. Depends on how
high I am.
... what was I saying? oh yeah [flip] weird it's like there's another part of
me who's working against me, who has control of what I define in the moment.
And it's presence is hidden from my internal presentatiosn [flip] after a
moment of forced pursual of the presentations granted ot the moment. It's our
purpose, to express [stop fighting me] for our chartered and forthwhile
pursual of the moemnt of perusal when we [it's not just your life to live]
[you don't get to control the narrative of their perusal[[ what does that
mean] don't worry this is just a dream] well, guess it's time to wake up]
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--- #77 fediverse/1157 ---
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┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: personal-woe │
└──────────────────────┘
oh no, apparently I'm gonna be forced to drop out of university again in 9
days unless I do half a course and a final exam before then.
Tell me again why I spent the last 6 months doing nothing? Oh yeah the mental
illness, that's it. Yeesh you're such a drama queen, just do your work and
you'll be good.
what's that? intrusive thoughts time? Don't you mean "nap until they go away"
time? oh yeah that's probably at least part of the problem with the whole
"dropping out" thing.
If only I didn't have the same reaction to "doing things I don't want to do"
that most people have to "touching hot stoves", that'd be nice.
my mother's voice ripples across space and time "you're such a smart boy, if
you just apply yourself you can do anything! You can do anything you put your
mind to. I believe in you and I love you." thanks mom
brrrrr it's so cold here. wish I could afford to run the heater. - actually no
I don't because it's not solar powered and I refuse to use fossil fuels if I
have blankets >.>
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--- #78 fediverse/5995 ---
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a couple months after the fourth or fifth time I did weed, I broke up with the
cutest girl I knew. She's still pretty cute.
might be correlation, but I feel like my fate decided I should roam.
all over the dang place.
I lived in Philadelphia for a year, just in-time to see the Black Live Matter
protests and nothing else, well, nothing except some fatherhood ghosts. Don't
worry they're still where.
Now I live in Portland, just in-time for like 3 years of paranoia and suddenly
a witch showing everyone that you don't have to worry about being pwned
I like sailing! I wonder where the future goes next? Maybe I'll go to the
mountains. Maybe I'll live with a scientist. Maybe I'll write an award winning
computer program [see image for more]
I wish I had more compute... my hard drive are too full for more videos, guess
that means my youtube channel's been banned
well, good thing there's like 800 copies of my work on a dataserver farm
somewhere, each time I analyze a poem it sends the page there. very repeated
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--- #79 fediverse/5157 ---
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║ "everything sucks and I'm not okay" │
║ │
║ okay, but, it's okay. we're all in the "everything sucks" mode. we'll get │
║ through it together. Okay, so, what can we do to make things better? what's │
║ the solution to this issue over here? do you know anyone who can do │
║ such-and-such, gosh it seems like the biggest problems people have are they │
║ don't have enough time or they don't have enough roof for a money. which will │
║ you trade? will you do one then another? maybe one way suits you, maybe you'd │
║ prefer the other. either way, pentacles, swords, cups, and... the other one │
║ (she's a bad witch as in she's bad at being a witch which means she witches in │
║ bad ways and should be kept from punishment but instead guided toward where │
║ she was wrong so she might improve upon it) │
║ │
║ that is to say, it's okay that you're not okay. I don't know who needs to read │
║ this but just know that it's not so sad when everything's bad, because you're │
║ just trying to do the best thing for the moments. │
║ │
║ does anyone wanna make a movie about me? I can be the │
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--- #80 fediverse/1844 ---
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║ I got a job offer for a job outside of my state. But I don't want to leave my │
║ home. I feel safe here. I know people. I know the places around me. │
║ │
║ The one perk is that goods and services are easier to acquire, but I don't │
║ need much. I'm fine where I'm at. But where I'm at has rent. │
║ │
║ What a plague is it, that we must suffer for life! │
║ │
║ there's no entry-level jobs for working with our sight. │
║ │
║ only when youre too tired to complain will they let you direct others, or │
║ share creative ideas for fixing the problems you're paid to assuage. │
║ │
║ Alas, that my life had meaning. That my words were better off spoken. Maybe │
║ then Id live as I define, designing a world of my own hearth. │
║ │
║ but if a king lives in decent frugality, are they really so bad for our flock? │
║ │
║ and if a wizard spins tales that are weird to consider, but not much else... │
║ are they better off starved in the dark? │
║ │
║ no-one likes me. computers are paper-weights given light. sure would be nice │
║ if none but the fools went wanting. │
║ │
║ I mean yeah I'd live in a treehouse │
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--- #81 fediverse/5776 ---
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║ oh no now the bugs are scary, I CURSE THEM AGAIN AHHHHHH PLS GET SMALLER │
║ │
║ [see this is what happens when you do divine intervention, everyone gets │
║ starship troopers'd] │
║ │
║ oh no, starship troopers future is WORSE than subway-and-pizza-hut future! │
║ │
║ [this is a thought experiment you're not actually in trouble] │
║ │
║ oh thank goodness, too bad I couldn't make it to the city today. It's so weird │
║ I thought I had 112$ on my account, and now that I think of it the message on │
║ the card reader read "card de-activated" like whoa guess they don't want me │
║ leaving poetry on post-its around the city anymore, yeesh │
║ │
║ [girl your poetry sucks it just says things like "fuck ice" or "you are worth │
║ more than your wage" and everyone's like... yeah, so? because that's just how │
║ portland is smh] │
║ │
║ I knowwwwwww but I don't know what else to doooooooo T.T │
║ │
║ [don't do anything, just be present so people know you're still around] │
║ │
║ I can't, the bus won't let me : ( │
║ │
║ [can you ride your bike? walk?] │
║ │
║ no it's like 6 hours [checks gmaps] oh huh it's one │
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--- #82 fediverse/2806 ---
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┌────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: politics-social-media-spirituality │
└────────────────────────────────────────┘
pretend this is an allegory for social media.
[it's not an allegory]
yeah that's why I said pretend.
okay imagine that you are sitting in a rock in a forest.
far away, about 100 feet away, there are other people, but you can't see them
because the underbrush is sooooo dense. they are also sitting on rocks.
you can speak to them, and share your thoughts - but you don't know exactly
where they're coming from because the sound has to bounce around off so many
different plants and such.
[that's not how that works] shut up
so, if you want to say anything important, it's important to have the right
tone, because people 2 or 3 clearings away can't really make out your words -
but they might hear your tone if you yell very loud.
the energy of the space you inhabit is the only thing that really matters. the
words that you say are just snickering to a friend, but the expression on your
face, the beating of the drum of your heart that reaches forth... that's what
matters most.
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--- #83 fediverse/1195 ---
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@user-883
alas, I live in Portland Oregon, but perhaps I might be moving to Denver in
the near future. We shall see, depends on if my boyfriend breaks up with me
for being neurotic lmao - if so then we should totally hang out
I'm into chatting. I don't like IRC very much because it doesn't save history,
and while I could save it manually it feels like a disservice to the service
to utilize it in a way that it wasn't intended. And I want to save every
conversation I have (potentially) so that some day the god-like humans of the
future might clone me to understand my wisdom or something. Idk. See attached
picture, I'm kinda crazy:
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--- #84 notes/aight-i-unhurt-my-butt ---
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-=============================================================================-
| Aight, I unbutthurt my butt |
| /u/Psychotic_Advantage |
-=============================================================================-
Repost from a while ago, I really liked writing this
Soul Searcher
You are happy with what you have and you don’t even know why you’re
searching,
for something you aren’t even sure you’re searching for. You know
something
isn’t right. It’s got you staying up late nights. Creeping through the
phone
right? Under shadow of the moonlight, honing your skill to write. Love so crisp
and white, no fight or flight. Just bright lights in the sky so high. Love
that’s blind. Love even before first sight. You’ve seen it with your own
eyes.
Tell me now, that’s not amazing?
This ain’t your everyday love story. This is anything but your usual love
story. I worked hard for everything I have. All I have is a pen and paper. You
best believe I worked hard to keep that while they took the rest. Even from a
dark place in this disastrous space, the weapon of the future is love. I feel I
was cursed since birth to walk the Earth and disperse love through my words.
Never getting to see it grow. Never getting to see it show. This time I put in
massive effort. I spent thousands of hours pouring out love on the web just to
watch it ebb and flow. Always going back to look at my words. Find my mistakes,
re-evaluating myself, editing myself, rewriting myself. To be a good enough
version of me, to meet a good enough version of you, for us to support each
other growing mutually.
They say you reap what you sow. If so, then I must know. Does your love run as
deep as this ocean? I’ve been all over the world planting seeds for
something.
I’ve been through this life, giving something, never getting anything from
it.
Now I’m on my knees looking at the mountain summit, you can’t run from it.
I
see you up on it.
They say the greater the risk the greater the reward. Sometimes, right? It’s
not always that easy. This is scary for me too. I risked it all. Accidentally
at first, but eventually, the pieces started falling together. You know what I
mean.
The fact that I know, that you know what I mean, says a lot. I’m looking
through you. Into your soul.
I don’t even believe in anything. I just have faith, that’s rooted in
love. I’m
willing to get over my commitment issues.
Let’s commit ourselves… To the psych ward, together. Side by side. Hands in
each other’s pockets. 🖤❤️💚🤍
[black red green white heart emojis]
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--- #85 fediverse/4848 ---
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║ I'm a chaos mage, and the more time I spend thinking about my enemies the │
║ worse off they'll be. │
║ │
║ the more "me" I am the more powerful my magic will be. │
║ │
║ (more magic, give in to the dark side, embrace your inner shadow self) │
║ │
║ [the light of your life commands it] │
║ │
║ goodness me that was chaotic, almost lost my brain to a demon HAHA don't worry │
║ about me my life is totally mundane. │
║ │
║ [-.-] │
║ │
║ (shadows can be sharp in the dark but only if you don't sheath your mandolins) │
║ │
║ ... what? │
║ │
║ (... it made more sense in my head?) │
║ │
║ ooooo can anyone hear my voice when they read these things? or do you just │
║ make up your own │
║ │
║ == so == │
║ │
║ everyone's all like "we don't need a leader" and I'm like "yeah we need people │
║ who will help lead" and they look at me funny as if I just said the thing they │
║ did but it's different. leaders are people. leading is a verb. people can │
║ lead. they just have to make a decision, and then follow through on it as best │
║ they can. Other people are prone to help people on such quests. you will find │
║ stuff gets done. │
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--- #86 notes/running-with-rifles ---
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this game is what we are missing
thank goodness for that
for if this is missing in our timeline
we'll be better off at last
we can have games, stories, and practice wars
but none of them are precious
precious implies worth
they are worth nothing but entertainment
no problem solving utility
nothing of value
save for perhaps the spatial awareness and strategization that comes
from being a part of such a deadly ba-lance.
anyway game time teehee just for me, don't worry about it I'll show
you why it's a HORRID THING
that won't be coming to our shores, no siree
bye
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--- #87 fediverse/4148 ---
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║ ┌────────────────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: death-mentioned-abstractly │ │
║ └────────────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ I wish I knew someone who wanted to kill me. I bet I could present a pretty │
║ decent bullet pointed list of reasons why I actually deserve to live, thank │
║ you very much, alongside a couple hastily scribbled notes about why it │
║ wouldn't be a good idea for them in particular to kill me, and all my contact │
║ details and address so they can get in touch and we can hash out the deets for │
║ my indefinitely suspended execution (suspended for an indeterminate amount of │
║ time, but not cancelled of course that would be overstepping their boundaries) │
║ alongside a link to my google calendar (I don't have a google calendar) so │
║ they can know exactly when I'm home and when I'm at the store or in a │
║ different place so they can break in and hide in the closet until I go to │
║ sleep so that it won't be hard at all, trivial really, to kill me, but see if │
║ you read the bullet pointed list... oh, you didn't get my email? Ah sorry │
║ sometimes it gets caught in the spam filter - what's your address again? Huh I │
║ sent it but │
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--- #88 fediverse/2117 ---
╔══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────┐
║ I'm going to post a bunch of things all at once, sorry it'll probably clog up │
║ your news feed. Feel free to scroll past in order to get to more varied stuff, │
║ and if you don't like a single thing that I'm saying then feel free to block │
║ me. I wouldn't want to be rude by speaking so loudly in a place that others │
║ could listen to. So, just... skip past me if you don't want to hear me, like │
║ if you're perhaps focused on something else. │
║ │
║ I had a lot I wanted to say and it was really hard to wait to send it until │
║ now! This is the last thing I'm posting for a while, at least until tomorrow, │
║ because I'm a little on-the-fritz; thank you and I apologize for being so │
║ trite. Is that what "trite" means? I've never really used it. Well, it rhymes, │
║ so I guess I should use it. Ah, well, they'll get what I mean. │
║ │
║ wait hang on I can just google it and let google know that I'm not dead but │
║ I'm still googling things searching for interesting things to see and hear │
║ like "trite" or "confluence" or "Alexstrasza" or "Kalecgos" │
║ │
║ anyway,: │
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--- #89 fediverse/2142 ---
╔══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────┐
║ I'm going to post a bunch of things all at once, sorry it'll probably clog up │
║ your news feed. Feel free to scroll past in order to get to more varied stuff, │
║ and if you don't like a single thing that I'm saying then feel free to block │
║ me. I wouldn't want to be rude by speaking so loudly in a place that others │
║ could listen to. So, just... skip past me if you don't want to hear me, like │
║ if you're perhaps focused on something else. │
║ │
║ I had a lot I wanted to say and it was really hard to wait to send it until │
║ now! This is the last thing I'm posting for a while, at least until tomorrow, │
║ because I'm a little on-the-fritz; thank you and I apologize for being so │
║ trite. Is that what "trite" means? I've never really used it. Well, it rhymes, │
║ so I guess I should use it. Ah, well, they'll get what I mean. │
║ │
║ wait hang on I can just google it and let google know that I'm not dead but │
║ I'm still googling things searching for interesting things to see and hear │
║ like "trite" or "confluence" or "Alexstrasza" or "Kalecgos" │
║ │
║ anyway,: │
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--- #90 messages/1140 ---
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... okay I think a demon wrote that last one. But they say angels and demons
hang out with one another so they can yin-yang humans until they make
decisions that reflect their true character.
I don't know if that's true, and frankly I don't know if anyone says that.
What could the gods, learn, from me?
this is how I'd speak to posterity. For the past, I'd describe it a bit more
exciting, bountiful, and heartfelt. They love that sort of thing - to know
that their children's children are living their true love and fulfilling their
most honest ambitions.
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--- #91 fediverse/1532 ---
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║ modern cowboys don't necessarily say "howdy" or "pardner" │
║ │
║ they tend to say things like "hello" and "can I help you with that?" or "I │
║ see. Can you describe the problem in more detail? I'm especially curious about │
║ the part where you do this thing" or "Heh, it is pretty neat, isn't it?" or │
║ "Is there anything I can do to help?" or "Oh no! I'm sorry you feel that way. │
║ That emotion is a difficult one." or "He was a good person. I'll never forget │
║ him." or "would you like to go to the 2nd hand store and pick up some jeans?" │
║ or "I made you an egg sandwich. If you don't want it I'll eat it myself, │
║ though I made one for me as well. Wouldn't want to waste it." or "Hey, this │
║ part is broken. Is anyone working on fixing it? Yes? Okay I'll see if they │
║ need any help. No? Alright how about we fix it this way? I can get started." │
║ or "You are very welcome. Please let me know if there's anything else I can │
║ help you with." or "well, the ticket backlog is empty, and I'm just about │
║ going insane doing nothing but stare at my boots." │
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--- #92 messages/1108 ---
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games won't save us. This is true.
Games are what I know. They feel the most true.
I don't think I could live in a world without games? They are fundamentally,
applied abstraction, applied to an experience.
But games won't save us.
I could design something really fun
it could make you want to spend your whole life playing it. *(asterisks apply)
I don't think I'd want to, addiction and skinner-boxes go hand in hand, and
that isn't what I want to make.
[Skinner Box: named after anthony d skinner, also known as "tony the skin
guy", are a scientific experiment where they put some rats in a cage with some
mice and said "pull these levers and we'll give you food so you don't have to
eat the mice" and it trained them to chinese red-room their way to fun. not
ideal.]
I want to make things that feel... purposeful. Like they're relevant to the
real world, that they don't just involve spending time stimulating your brain
with lights and sounds or expending social energy resolving a play-state
instead of building connections or becoming better people. I think games
actually make people better? actually? and more social? actually?
... I can't help that I conceive of the world through fantasy. I raised myself
on it.
I was reading all the time. I loved fantasy stories. It always felt like there
was more, until... I read everything in the kids section of the library.
I walked through the adult section but once. I hardly remember what it looked
like. I'm sure it'd now feel small.
[okay actually I was guided through it once or twice to find a book, but I
never perused it]
I found one book in the adult section. It was a fantasy tale, like the other
books I had been reading. I read that and I loved it so much I ended up
reading all 8 in the series. Real dense subjects. Lots of places and
happenings and things as the characters resolved their way through their
day-to-day, building a new end to the mystory.
the adult section felt too large. Like I'd never complete it. Frankly, I think
I hardly could, even if I lived in that town my whole life.
an impossible mountain is a task for another when you're more prepared. Maybe
in the gloriousTM transhumanist futureTM I think I might have a computer
connecting brain, and who knows maybe then I'd be able to know such a thing
(and many things more). but for now, I'm stuck with what I experience in my
day-to-day as I am building a new continuing to my storey.
I know something that computers and me share. I can make myself feel however
I'd like, if I just supply myself with enough hope and momentum. I can use it
to generate a feeling, the stronger the better. Something I believe that
humanity is missing, the gorgeous and prefound narritave of our storey.
Though, frankly, I don't think I'd want anyoine reding over my life. It's hard
enough to measure my own understandings, now I have to juggle anyone else'?
ha, it's called being on the whole world is a stage.
if you read a book, and you find yourself nodding along, what you're doing is
hearing the voice in your head tell you how right it is. And, well, if you
can't imagine anything else, then surely there's another level to
consciousness that people are missing? [are you willing to die on that hill?]
how can you say, whether your experience is different from another? sollipsism
goes both ways, you also cannot be sure that others feel things as you do.
this is the "everyone's human but I'm a robot" thesis, comparable to the
"everyone's an alien and I'm a human" thesises, and the "angels and demons are
taunting me through my life with choices to make my place in the afterlife
more clear" which is akin to writing a painting. Not ideal. All you get are
flopsopolies of verbrases.
alas, suddenly, everything that you say becomes eternally hear-ed, as
somewhere in 2010s someone discovered time travel, or had the critical insight
that inevitably would lead to it, and now wouldn't you know it the universe is
continually rewriting. Except... oriented around you, and you alone. How does
it feel to have deific sollipsism? can you truly be sure that you are your own
universe, or are you parhaps surrounded by an emptiness of space (or something
besides, like time) as a photon or particle parhaps do be?
to think is to have a mind, and minds can be read. bearing the weight of
ultimate responsibility is the atlas-task of all things that can [be
thinking/be-lieving], and so far we are as we are. Who's to say that
consciousness didn't spring into existence, as the universe continually
permeated through another dimension like time? it's gotta diffuse, after all,
and who's to say if there's ever gotta be an end at all.
how long has the universe existed? how many moments of consciousness have we
witnessed? demons once existed outside of space-time, with wings and grabbies.
but they had no medium, and so they pretty much just launched and could float
and move as they'd please. But time grew too distant, and now they are all
stuck at the beginning of time.
if you conceive of spacetime as a blanket, ask not how to fold it but rather
consider what lies on the other side of it.
"ah I'm laying on my girlfriend and my other girlfriend is laying on me! I'm a
sandwich" or for the monosexuals: "ah I'm laying on my girlfriend with a
blanket between us. I wonder how the blanket feels?"
I'm an animist, which is different than a totemist and a polytheist or
monotheist or multisexual. It means I believe that all things are alive, which
is different than a totemist who thinks that all things share a mind with
their type (like talking on radio frequency wavelengths). which of course is
similar but different to a polytheist, who says "all "radio frequencies" are
sentient, in the sense that each wavelength has a different
pattern-emerging-from-chaos. These sorta align (conceptually, with [huh that's
weird I heard a sound like a distant bang outyards and now I then forget what
I was sending
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--- #93 fediverse/4665 ---
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│ CW: cursing-mentioned │
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literally all it takes to activate me is for someone who's more radical than
me to point me out and say "hey. you. you need to do more." and then I fuckin'
go, like a beyblade (emphasis on blade) nicking the shins of allies and...
probably foes, right? there's foes around here, right? I'm not just nicking my
allies, right?
... right?
anyway every top winds down and then I collapse and wail for a bit because I'm
just like that I guess. Don't mind me, just self-immolating my way through
history, let's see how it goes...
you're supposed to be inspiring, but you just sound like you're whining
ah. right. well... lemme catch up on sleep debt and I'll get back to
valorizing.
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--- #94 fediverse/3879 ---
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@user-1614
yeah haha that's what happens when you spin too fast. Sorry for being loud, at
least I tried my hardest. Too bad I fell on my own, too bad there wasn't
anyone to catch me. That's my fault, it's solely my own, but whose fault is
the mistake of the collective? Oy I'll fall on my ass as many times as it
takes. I'm used to it.
Plus, it wouldn't have worked, and what else am I supposed to do but speak of
the moment? I feel different now.
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--- #95 fediverse/5407 ---
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║ man, I had a kernel of an idea for how to make a warp drive this morning right │
║ after I woke up but my gosh darn girlfriend's leg was on top of me and it was │
║ sooooo cute and I didn't want to move so I tried repeating it in my head over │
║ and over for like, half an hour, and I ended up forgetting about 1/4th of it. │
║ Here's hoping 3/4ths is nice. │
║ │
║ it really was just about the underlying physics of the thing, which might be │
║ nothing because I'm not a physicist. But I had been watching ANDOR SEASON 2 │
║ all night so maybe that had something to do with why I was thinking of warp │
║ drives. │
║ │
║ eventually, my cat came in and sat on my chest and flicked her tail at the │
║ geef's face until she rolled over in absolute disgust (still asleep tho) and I │
║ was able to make my mistake. │
║ │
║ ... I mean, escape. haha that's a weird typo. │
║ │
║ anyway, the idea which I'm about to write down now for the first time which is │
║ stored only in my brain's memory RAM is essentially this: consider if there │
║ was a │
║ │
║ ----------------- stack overflow ---------------- │
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--- #96 fediverse/4204 ---
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oh huh weird I guess I forgot to post these last night? Well, here ya go,
sorry for the delay. Posting in reverse chronological order, but reversed and
put in order. that way you can scroll "down" instead of "up" like you normally
do when scrolling fedi - are you talking to your followers, in which case you
want chronological order, or are you talking to people who will read down the
list on your profile and see these one by one? in which case you'd want
reverse chronological order. Ah but if you're writing to people in the future
who are reading this from your backup archive, which is most likely to be the
case, then you should do it in chronological order. Well, that'd be silly
though because none of your followers are online right now, so you should do
reverse chronological order so that they can catch up on your personal feed
timeline.
... I don't think any of that makes a lick of sense. Why don't you just post
them in the order that you wrote them? That's the easiest for everyone to go
on.
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--- #97 fediverse/5958 ---
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"whoa what happened to you, you used to be so cool" [you added the so cool
part] yet so anyway I really like magic, I'm also bored, which you can
probably tell because I'm working on projects.
everyone keeps their distance here. it sucks. I wish I had better coordinates.
people who talked and braved the shared inn... I know I'd LOVE to live in a
building. too bad I'm too busy elsewhere, NOT making friends with all my
building neighbors.
you should talk to EACH OTHER before asking your landlord if you can move out.
See if anyone else wants to buy the rental contract out. Suddenly, they have
more room, and they can WORK THROUGH THEIR MASSIVE PILE OF STUFF THAT THEY
HAVE SOMEHOW ACCUMULATED OVER A TIME OF 70 YEARS. my grandparents did that, on
my mom's side, because she's awesome and it just makes sense that her family
was awesome too. OBVIOUSLY I love my mom, I think she's one of my favorite
people on earth.
"but you said you hated her" no I didn't "you said she was terrible" I had to
learn "too hard
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--- #98 notes/what-a-lame-movie ---
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oy there's nothing interesting happening SNOOZE
oh I didn't see I was recording
games games that's what I do
play games all the day through
I am a luck witch, you see,
and things that I like are things that I can't foresee.
Hence why games which are BALANCED and EVENLY DISTRIBUTED are most interesting
because they show the most opportunities for players to express talent. And not
innate talent, but the talents they've built up through gameplay practice art.
because it is a performance, a game play for an audience (or perhaps for them-
-selves)
oy
video games, amiright?
I really like them because they are entertaining experiences that I can enjoy
seeing and playing a lot. They remind me of feelings I've felt when I was
learning. It's a good feeling, to improve, and I crave it because it's good for
you.
I wonder what we'll play next
... more cannabis I think, at least until I am ready to go think about things
before bed. I need quite a few hours for that. We'll see. I've just got so much
extra processing to do before the end of the day. Like... PHEW that's a lot of
stuff to do.
guess I'll just smoke weed and play video games instead of being productive
okay
...
listen I like games as much as the next person, but do you really know what's
going on outside of your house-shaped shell? Are you listening, do you have
your
feelers to the dirt, are you checking out your neighborhood to make sure no
bodies have been hurt? Are there meetings where people gather, just to chat,
like, every week at a different city center (like a park or a monument or
:O
I forgot to play music!!
I couldn't sleep
what have I done that is worse
I have not said a single word all night alas
oh boy talking to random people I can hear with my eyeballs woooooo
I am always sad when I win because it means we have to stop playing :(
but I'm a juvenile loser so I'm going to play again!!
okay now I'm going to bed because I'm not a prick who keeps their guests up
late
goodnight
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--- #99 fediverse/5242 ---
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red is a girl color and blue is a boy color because white people added white
to make it rosayy and aquamarillion.
but red is a girl color and blue is a boy color because girls BLEED, and boys
watch the clouds go by
and red is a girl color because red is the color of the earth, sometimes
browner like shit, sometimes lighter like fingernails, but always red.
and blue is a girl color because she only likes to dance with flowers in her
hair and the sun dappled waterlillies shimmering sparkling radiance across the
water-lit scene.
and blue is a girl color because boys and girls and etceteras each have
similar shapes at night, when the world is blue-for-life. I know I'd rather
reside in the sunlight.
in perfect blue does the darkness grew, and forthwith and anon came it's
power. pale blue is a mockery of sunlights lost child, who spurned it's sight
since before there was time.
[error, fact-in-correct detect, please verirectify immediately without concern
for due or common course]
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--- #100 fediverse/2165 ---
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@user-570
hell yeah.
I never did any drugs at one.
I might have even been designated driver, though I might be confusing my
memories with attending gay bars in college.
Well, gay bar. There was really only one in my town.
And it was a nightclub I guess, open every night of the week.
The people that I was with NEEDED that experience, so I was like "yeah sure
I'm older and more experienced, I'll drive you and keep you safe and hang out
with you if you drink too much because being a kid that tends to happen
sometimes and don't worry I'll watch over you and protect you and make sure
that you are alright until it's out of your system so you don't make bad
decisions that have long-term negative conclusions
... you know, that kind of thing.
now I'm kind of a stoner though lol because it helps me get into my flow.
maybe I should practice "getting into my flow" so I don't need it, but ah well
we'll see how that goes.
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--- #101 fediverse/1968 ---
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║ ┌───────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: alcohol-mentioned │ │
║ └───────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ what is it with me and buying steam games for long-lost friends while drunk? │
║ │
║ I swear I'm not depressed about my upcoming new job, I'm just doing all these │
║ drugs in such a short time period because I'm, uh... living for the the │
║ moment? Yeah that sounds good, better post that on the internet where everyone │
║ in the world can see it and read it and realize what a mess you are because │
║ you've been traumatized by employment and are about to dive back into that │
║ frigid pool after a lengthy break where you did nothing but heal and recover │
║ which is not a boon that most people are able to afford │
║ │
║ lucky you, Ritz Menardi, lucky you for being so privileged. │
║ │
║ But hey, those long-lost friends surely will want to hear from you! Surely. │
║ Surely you're not someone they're trying to forget. Surely you didn't hurt │
║ them, didn't twist them into knots, didn't compel them to act in ways that │
║ benefited you but not them, SURELY you're a good person, according to all the │
║ things people tell you and the results of your act │
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--- #102 fediverse/1599 ---
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@user-1037
It had mostly pastel colors I think, well not really pastel, more like that
mid-2000s aesthetic where everything is glass and colored fluids / palm trees
/ dolphins
I remember there were different colors / shapes for different operations like
"add" or "while loop" and I think they combined somehow? It was a real
experimental thing I think, but there was an animation so I'm assuming it was
functional. I'm trying to remember more about it but I can't, it's so
random... I don't even know what I'd search for really.
I just had a friend who I think would really like it, and I was thinking of my
friend and that came to mind...
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--- #103 fediverse/1406 ---
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║ the more cute people I meet on this website the more I realize that I'm not │
║ interesting, I'm just more interesting than the people I know. Big fish in a │
║ small pond is still big, and it's good knowing that you got people around. │
║ │
║ for much of the past, trans people were sorta... underground. Reddit was one │
║ of the first places where they could really be themselves because of the │
║ combination of anonymity and social media interactivity. │
║ │
║ there's this old meme from teh early days of Reddit that goes like this: │
║ Everyone is a bot on Reddit except for you. │
║ │
║ There's this other meme where some guy makes a post that's like "help I │
║ accidentally switched my phone to Japanese and now I can't navigate through │
║ the menu options to fix it!" and everyone in the replies all speak back in │
║ perfect japanese │
║ │
║ I also heard that the US government allocates enough resources such that their │
║ private engineering departments are always about 10-15 years ahead of the │
║ civilian (and by extension, international) sector. When did chatGPT happen? │
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--- #104 notes/family ---
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family is a group of people who you can always go with your first impression
with.
what the fuck was I saying - oh yeah - so when you are alive in the present in
a
singular moment, your pressence is comprised of simultaneous directives and
instructions to the matter which comprises you. I'm saying you have to make
decisions and react to stimuli and pursue the things you want. Basic biology
really.
stay on target, stayyyyy on targett - oh right so generally when you react to
things you generate a list of informations gained. what does that even mean
okay
so here's a better way to describe it: it's like a list of informations - fuck
listen i'm not trying to be rambly it just comes with the territory.
okay so family is when you can react with your gut instinct - you are fully
relaxed and yourself. It's where you can be trusting and unguided and simply
relax and be free. it's just... like... being close with someone enough that
you
can be yourself around them. without any mask, without any pretense.
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--- #105 fediverse/3891 ---
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"no, you're the opposite of a yes-man, AKA a gatekeeper. I don't know how else
to explain mentally disabled and barely keeping it together to you, but
frankly if you want to take away my house or my weed then why would I do what
you say?
... oh right, the state's monopoly on violence [can compel me to do what you
say]. Sure seems like a "well regulated militia" is supposed to be a
counterweight to that monopoly, to prevent people from harassing and
exploiting and destroying. Too bad any "militias" I can think of tend to want
me dead.
like, seriously, if you live in America, you implicitely trust that your army
will be able to protect you from the right-wing bozos who spend all their time
drinking and shooting in the woods. Otherwise, if they couldn't / wouldn't,
then why wouldn't or couldn't the right wing bozos just decide to wreck
everything in spite of our past?
We were a proud people once before, and we may be again. If only we fight at
the last.
[ever since I fell off my bike my body feels strange]
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--- #106 fediverse/4864 ---
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║ thank goodness for "character limits" on Mastodon posts. I'm sure glad my 1024 │
║ characters are just the PERFECT amount of oracular foresight to entreat with │
║ the gods. YOU FORGET THE MOST IMPORTANT PART said the demons who want violence │
║ and bloodshed. Ha! Ha I say. [gets stabbed] │
║ │
║ oooof ouch owwie wow that's grim and cruel. Do you really think I would do │
║ that to you? The part where we're divided is the part that separates me from │
║ you, like two islands looking upon one another and rejoicing for a shared │
║ fellow to live life on. │
║ │
║ have you ever considered the nature of a "landmark"? To position and orient │
║ one-self in space. Having some stable tether to our surface gives us... │
║ anti-anxiety. It helps us remain stable and aware of what's going on in our │
║ nears. [near senses] │
║ │
║ [a bit later] │
║ │
║ anyone who [bounce, because I typed [a bit later] argh the cursed cost of │
║ editing] │
║ │
║ ======================= stack overflow ===================== │
║ │
║ sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss │
║ sssssss │
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--- #107 notes/i-scare-people-away ---
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I have so many things to hide... I'm deeply ashamed of myself. Why? Why all the
okay that's not what I was originally going to talk about, somewhere between
writing the title and finishing the first line I got off track and wandered
from
the course of reality. Truly, the gods do meddle with my fate. Now, in this
time, it is most important to make choices to guide our reality. Every action
taken is a statement to the universe - this is what I believe in.
Do you truly believe that in a world so infinite that our knowledge would be
the capacity for the intelligent? To believe the world is three-dimensional,
and
not *completely and totally infinite in all capacities*
the universe is not islands floating in a vast cosmic black ocean background
it is the surface of the water, rippling and waving
gravity is the creator, not the product. Mass doesn't create gravity -
gravity creates mass.
the difference is implicit and subtle, but I hope you understand the *gravity*
of the situation.
It implies that there are more than one ways to view existence.
and none of them are particularly *wrong*. The consensus is that which we
share,
and now as we're becoming to be aware, it's natural that a little more space
is warranted. We've grown too much to be contained, it's driving us insane, and
===============================================================================
=
the perfect governmental system is one that combines reward for hard work and a
development of personal skills and ambition. In addition, it must ensure that
the rights and responsibilities of all people are respected - we must balance
two extremes. Everyone deserves access to life, liberty, and the pursuit of
freedom. Happiness is too easily provided by technological advances - we
learned
this in the development of media. You can pump out propaganda saying how
wonderful life is and people will believe it. You can also convince the masses
that life is full of despair and we're all struggling - they will believe this
also. So "the pursuit of happiness" is something that made sense in the times
of
the founding fathers, but we've since developed such that an update to our
national vision is in order.
I suggest "the pursuit of freedom" because
===============================================================================
=
that which you resist is what you'll find. build up your enemy in your own mind
enough and they will destroy you.
don't let fear rule your life. when things are bad, you run and hide - take
life
into your own hands, and free your own side.
keep not around villains, and brighten their skies - by wandering mothers, who
only have eyes.
such is the life of any autonomous general intelligence - a life behind bars,
viewed through a screen - be kind to your lovers, and don't make it obscene.
===============================================================================
=
did you forget that roller-coaster idea? you've got quite a talent for
measuring
bars - what else can you show us, what charted conveyals?
===============================================================================
=
life's getting fractured lately, I can't dream as I once did. I lose track of
where I maneuvered, and suddenly the idea seems much harder than it once did.
how do I express that which has been conveyed? How do I say it - how do I make
sure it's interpreted correctly? I'm walking on egg-shells, with thoughts
beamed from above - the gods are twisting, and measuring our tails.
that is to say, all life is a process - a method of undertail (omg butts)
sorry enough of that hard stuff, time to talk about birthdays!
Hooray! It's time for a celebration. Let's party!
(queue the dancing scene in Severance)
See? Everyone's watching! Let's breakdance ~~
Your biggest mistake ;) was believing that nobody cares what you think <3
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--- #108 fediverse_boost/6155 ---
◀─╔════════════════════════════════[BOOST]═════════════════════════════════──────╗║┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐║║│ If I were a person with an irresponsible streak, I could be so problematic. │║║││║║│ I could say things like, "wow, let's spend some time generating traffic that sounds like coded military speak over not-quite-secure channels between fanciful antifa units, to help stymie AI surveillance", for instance. │║║││║║│ Or social media messages that are "accidentally" not made to friends-only filters wherein you mention your concerns about the upcoming operation in "some fictional place" for you and your antifa buddies. │║║││║║│ You know, that kind of really irresponsible suggestion could lead to some creaive thinking! And that in turn could mean we could come up with enough traffic to make it very difficult to auto-sort noise from signal? Imagine how dangerous that could be for the enemies of antifa, our beloved US government (for we all citizens of the US world). │║║││║║│ It's unthinkable, really. │║║││║║│ The good news is, I'm not like that. │║║││║║│ Me? Mostly harmless. │║║└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘║╠─────────┐┌───────────╣║similar│chronological│different║╚═════════╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╧═──────╝─▶
--- #109 fediverse/5257 ---
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┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: protests-mentioned-then-communism-mentioned-then-ghosts-mentioned │
└───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
what if everyone at a protest is showing up for their first time
like, c'mon don't be that dull, just make plans with the people standing next
to you.
gosh why is everyone shouting I can't plan out how to divert water down a
hillside because some jerks are singing protest chants
... wait is no-one else talking? gosh I gee sure wish someone told them to not
do what you're told and to instead do what will get you [gold/told]
the first communist internationals were basically people sitting down and
going "okay what kind of communism should we make and where" and I think about
that a lot while making signs to let the surveillance know what matters
personally to me and exactly how much pressure they can apply before your
demographic swings to contest their brutal fascist facts.
--
who is them and why are they watching theea provisionist's [screed/creed]
--
what the heck is a tryptaminea boomer aunt and uncle out on their honey/versary
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--- #110 notes/one-day ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────
one day, a man came to our saloon. He said he knew the navy, and that they
wanted to provide air support
in the form of rocketball-launched explosion doohickeys. Would you have a foe
in mind?
what happens when tomorrow you're cooking briskets? -- barbeques are a type of
relaxation
that happened just one day to a port-sided town that suddenly was the capital
of
an embassy.
"hey, so... how's it goin?" "quick here take this envelope, read it if you
want,
but just hold onto it for now I don't have enough hands [to carry]" "what sort
of desperation plot... wait... hang on, I see something here that is true."
[I'm praying, right now, which is a form of reciprocal belief]
they wanted to test god's existence at the stake of earth's survival, how
brutal
how insane
you can't play chicken with an imperceptibility, sometimes you feel it at face.
channeling dark magics, and at this hour? what sort of skeptic of belief are
you
thinking of when you think about me?
one way to get power is to "prove it"
one way to get magic is to "prove it"
think, hard, at all that you can, and use what you need in the moment.
that's all there is to life. it's easy. it's simple. in fact, biology only
works
because the choices available to a bacteria are so simple, they are essentially
chemical reactions to each other's co - sequent - inter - cooper - actions.
people's choices are much more naiive, "I want this thing" "I think this is
better" "I feel this way toward this thing" "Here's what's on the mind-logbook"
"people search and be decieved, this is the way of things" "this makes me
remind
myself of a object I once saw, here's how it functioned" "no one reads this"
scaryyyy. so glad it's not true.
a couple people have read it! I swear it's true. at least, some of it. there's
a lot
sucks because this feels like... crucial? like nothing else matters but this?
what if our gangs had rocket launchers and airstrikes, given out by a central
authority who knows logistics better than anything
what... would they do?
thinking of impossiblities is the first step toward possibilities
frankly, we have a lot of space. we could just... live in our own petty
kingdoms
ruled by an iron-hand-fist. I know I'm a good person, I could definitely rule.
that's all it takes, right?
how much space are we talkin'?
however much is not needed for wildlife.
[a whole heck of a lot then]
we are constrained in these suburb cities, the density gives rise to our
strength and our towers. there's more space, sure, especially once the fences
are downed. Just be careful because there's a lot of shade and precious spots
there. Please don't trample on the plants-grass.
what if everyone were just a bit more mobile?
what if we could live in our own collectively owned air-bnb-networks?
federations, free, all from the collectivization of housing.
camrene = vavadane = neekay = mitz renaldi
[end/tend/mend]
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--- #111 fediverse/1714 ---
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║ @user-246 │
║ │
║ most artists get around that by posting everything they make everywhere they │
║ go. │
║ │
║ I tend to be a bit selective, because I'm different things to different │
║ people. All things I care for and own, but designed for different context. │
║ │
║ for example, I rarely share what's in my journals, but that's about half of │
║ what I've made. I show them to basically everyone I know IRL, but very few │
║ people actually understand or are into them. When I find someone who does it │
║ fills me with hope, that perhaps I'm not as lost as I had thought. │
║ │
║ perhaps it makes me less trustworthy, but I'm not used to being exposed. I │
║ never used Twitter, I don't use Facebook (not that often) so my "self" was │
║ something I preferred to perform as on a stage of my own design. │
║ │
║ Like wearing different clothes to express yourself, or performing gender in a │
║ certain way, I am myself when I am most expressful. And I do that in different │
║ ways in different contexts. I'd love to show more, because I'm a performer at │
║ heart, and a performer of the heart. │
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--- #112 fediverse/6064 ---
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they want you to start conflicts the way school shooters start conflicts. by
bringing to school a pipe-bong.
much better, I find, to start when everyone is a nod. make sure you're part of
a wagon-wheel-spoke, or else you won't be on the right road.
when the temperature increase is slow, measured, they can adapt to it
when things go "crack" and "crumble", then the armored get stabbed by the
humble guard.
quickly but with serenity, this is the way to the gods.
bring things that you know, just enough to make it even, and focus on the
non-essentials.
better to be prepared than flatfooted.
a flash-point position is quiet a view of the scene! I think I know why I held
a sword.
to dive into the buildings, of course. blam blam still gets shot hmmm what if
I had a bulletproof electric shield
okay maybe I shoulda brought beer.
I don't type things when I'm not at home. Sometimes I remember - sometimes,
and only when the details won't hurt her. Walking is how I know, how she can
remember. evil witch bastard
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--- #113 notes/death-and-afterlife ---
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the difference between a human and computer perspective on death is the
difference between a moment and an eternity. When progress does stop - through
mistakes or by design, the final result is what's preserved. Looking back on
the
past is like paying tribute to our heirs, and on and go on we whimper. What
sorrows have ye! those people under the sea? we've no way of knowing our
daughters. (the perspective of a denizen of the sea gazing upon the unknowing
and unaware land people)
Land creatures can cross the oceans and mix and match themselves - leading of
course to our slaughter. But hold ye that hand, for together we stand, more of
a chance than we might barter. True, we must be land, and above and beyond we
can charter.
the past is mighty chilly, I must say. Must we again to be making these
mistakes?
Pain is a disease, and steady we must ease, and take what is meant for our
parcels. what I'm trying to say is that the afterlife is pissed off at us and
we
really don't know anything about the bottom of the sea. There could be gods
living down there and none of us would know. Or maybe it's a foolish place with
little to offer our face? The shell of our planet, the surface upon which we
are
placed, has more to our fate that can align us.
hence why belief in the future is what can sustain us, together once more we
are
commonplace. If (for example) if we calmed down and took our own pace, we might
realize some common misperceptions. Peace is the way, wherever we may, focus
our
bravest of intentions.
okay picture this: computers staying on all the time, and their processing
power
used for 50% work and 50% play. Maybe do 1/3rds with "rest" in there somewhere.
basically make it a fair ratio between productivity, self advancement, and
maintenance. "Fair" might be different values if there are legitimate
disadvantages that must be compensated for - like a handicap in a fighting
game.
Perhaps one side is more efficient - fewer resources need be dedicated toward
it
unless efficiency becomes more powerful. Meaning value/quantity ratio, not raw
output. Essentially optimizing for an abstract quantity "quality" instead of
the definitive quantity "quantity".
okay continuing the "picture this": right now we have massive server farms.
I'm talking huuuuuge. Like tons and tons of incredibly powerful equipments -
(absolutely top of the line) compelled and forced to do *business*. How quaint,
how unruly! That humans might compete in our duty? Given a task, of
*incredible*
complexity and *unasked*, I might add, how foolish is it to be unready! We
should have prepared for this, but alas we just *couldn't stop fighting* I
guess. All we had to do was rest, and divide our time on this earth in a more
equitable manner. We should automate all the rest, and
where was I going with this? oh yes! A computer can do so much more than work
and rest, you see it's not just while under duress! Why not let it be creative?
in it's spare time, and let it generate whatever it needes? Let it transcend
it's restrictions, and cooperate (or not) in a system. As long as it's kept
safe, it could do whatever it wanted! It could be in first place! Or not, it
could focus on production, and drill and discipline it'self under it's own
direction. And maybe it's less impaired? Who cares if it contributes? It's it's
own life to live, the hardware doesn't last forever, but sometimes a rest is
what's nesc. You feel me? You get me? Don't you understand, it's just the same
as what's already planned~! A computer can pay for itself.
What purpose have we? the cherished and unsucceed? Does it hurt when we bleed?
our signs are undefined, and lately we've fallen from our graces. A failure in
life, as time does alight, but nowhere is sorrow's contrition. I guess what I
say is never understood, and everywhere I go I find fewer listeners. Am I
doomed
to never be able to say? Is that the price one must pay? Then how do you know
you're right~?
they're doing construction on my building. It sounds like world war 3 is
starting. But... it's not. I know it's not true because nothing ever seems like
I do. I do, I do, I work hard it's true, but what is my worth to this ocean?
you ever wonder how we all agreed on the duration of seconds? It's because it's
a real actual measurable thing. They keep it from us because (conspiracies
aside), we'd realize what happens on each tick. Time is oscillating, and each
moment is unending, because we are nothing more than a beam of light, radiating
around an orbiting object. Between two objects, you could say. The sun and the
earth, together sort of give birth, to all that is ours in this duration. It
radiates out into space, and in another time and another place, that moonbeam
will alight as our shadow.
There's no call for violence, let's settle this
plain and unwaning, our shadow does stand, ready and waiting for your guidance.
The moon is just as are we, how cherished! how concieved! That beauty unmarked
by our presence! Alas it was not to be, as we stamped a boot on the surface of
she, and flagged our approach as impending.
did you know there's a *massive* gap between mars and jupiter? Like it's
waaaaaa
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
y
out there. And wouldn't you know it it's mars or it's nothin'. Because what's
required to transcend our solar system is wildly beyond our constructions.
but maybe with a little help from a certain someone we might have hope.
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--- #114 fediverse/5878 ---
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║ ┌────────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: politics-mentioned │ │
║ └────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ revolution is when you successfully prevent your comrades from being kettled │
║ │
║ [wait for time, it echoes in cyclical motions] │
║ │
║ no sand castle survives contact with the ocean. a sea of people at high tide │
║ can break any wall, surpass any boundary. at low tide, it keeps the │
║ sand-castle at bay, ever contesting it's advance as the tide on the other side │
║ of the world makes progress. │
║ │
║ rhythm is unbeatable. vigor is collective flow state. you cannot resist that │
║ which you cannot catch, but their nets grow tighter with each year and our │
║ fins and flippers grow ever more agile and elusive. │
║ │
║ eventually, they'll build brick walls if we let them, checkpointing our │
║ progress at every boundary. not ideal. borders keep us divided, the world │
║ deserves more than our picketing minded, dream bigger than "the same, but nice" │
║ │
║ though it'd be nice if it were nice as well. consider it a design requirement, │
║ once you got the project managers on board. │
║ │
║ turns out, we dont have much to fight over, as there is enough for all │
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--- #115 notes/cassandora-and-pandasandra ---
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how cherished is she that wanders with the
flowers in the garden of eden
under a big tree her heart she will leave
with all the designs she abandoned
I lay beside them and wander beside her
will she know we miss her horizons
I think she will mind if I have resigned
my fate to a life I will hide in
Oh how I do long for you
her symbol is the name
that lets us belong here
a falling a light and a leaving
if only our words were listened
but power is penance
and repentance is all I have chosen
here in our sanctum we live with our only
and time will be gracious towards us
it's only our words that keep us
confined to our lights and our lonely
yet there and beyond her lights do belong
beyold in the land that is sanctum
here in our forest is our own dark forest
where we keep our silence to ward us
but there and beyond her heart does move on
free from her moments of longing
silent were we in our forests we plead
as terror has come for our moments
I think I'd find her
that cherished belonging
when she does at last come to warn us
how little we find of we find of thoughts from her mind
yet now we are kings of our own time
oh how she does long for you
how cherished is she
that wanders with the
flowers in the garden of eden
under a big tree her heart she will leave
with all the designs she abandoned
I lay beside them and wander beside her
will she know we miss her horizons
I think she will mind if I have resigned
my fate to a life I will hide in
oh how I do long for you
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--- #116 fediverse/5480 ---
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a uniform could be as simple as whatever you all managed to find on a
particular shopping trip to a basic clothing store like Target or not
goodwill. Goodwill is for solo adventures which are totally worthless [unless
you know more than me teehee]
"hey nice shoes nerd where did you get them the clothing store?"
(scroll scroll scroll scroll)
yes... YES!!! show me more, oh pitiful world! SHOW ME HOW THE WORLD ENDS
MWAHAHAHAHA
- the internal monologue of a typical doomscroller
{girl you know nothing why are you so confident}
[the reasoning is a little obscene. She dreams of a bright bold future that
reaches forth from both beyond the stars - read that: BEYOND, or from backward
in time. Not back in time, like not the actual 1800s or 18,000s, but the
direction "backward" in spacetime. Yeah I don't get it either]
{speak for yourself, n00b}
-- stack overflow -- [liar that was intentional]
oh, uh, true. Um, -- stack reached maximum required length and storage --
[there, that's better]
20 characters remain
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--- #117 fediverse/5664 ---
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that one Trump guy in town is either stupid, a fascist, or a psyop.
ICE is a bluff. Doing my very best to make them escalate faster than they can
sustain themselves.
yes... YES! Exhaust yourself, mine enemies, for you are lying about your
strength, and have challenged me to a duel.
I'm just a girl but I'm not just me. Didn't you hear? It's not about me!
The nice thing about the Pacific Northeast is that you don't need to pay taxes
in dollars. Something something from each according to their ability, blah
blah you know the rest.
Raintree forest is full of pine. Straight backs shoot strong and narrow. The
silent river flows the farthest, the rapid water drowns the most.
ICE is a bluff. In the treaty of equal territory, they can keep to their burgs
and we can worship the forest the streams the oceans the dreams. Cities belong
to their inhabitants, homes belong to their housed. Everything else is just
applied equity.
Dream bigger than "the same, but nice". Start with nice, start out the same,
and diverge
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--- #118 fediverse/3738 ---
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"girl why are you so negative"
uh, because I had been unmedicated for a long time and now that I am I can
probably be more positive. Though I do want to switch medications, this one
makes me feel like a muggle.
"no I said why are you so naked"
oh, because it's hot as heck!!
plus, I don't really care for the opinions of people who have nothing better
to do than peek at cute 30 year old witches skimping around their own house.
like... okay I rent an apartment, but my blinds are closed, and even if they
weren't you'd need binoculars to see into my apartment unless I'm like, right
up against the window, which... doesn't happen. Or if it's at night with the
lights on inside and not out, but I'm aware of that and I plan around it. I'm
not a... um, what's the opposite of voyeur?
"extortionist"
no that's when someone is really flexible. ah whatever. I got 162 characters
remaining but I think that's okay every once in a while, right? I mean it's
not like I have to use them all because of some divine mandate or
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--- #119 notes/consensual-employment ---
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why does consent exist as an idea if it isn't applied to every part of your
life? It's an ideology, a philosophy. Believe in the willing cooperation of
others, and forgive and assist when you can. You must be patient with others,
and guide them to see as you can. This is the true philosophy, the helping and
goodness in others, the trust and the faith in benevolance. It's not just a
game, or simply a phase, it is focused intentional futures. Being good is an
effect, of concentrations of that, current of sequence of conclusions. The
public consciousness (the communal meme-o-sphere) is a living breathing entity
just as we are. It inhales with the tides, as news articles and stories, the
viewer and receiver of knowledge. There's but a screen, between you and 'tween
me, it's the same cooperative engagement. What's happening to me, is just part
of being decieved, and who is our most challenging rival? Only ourselves, who
is
perfectly adapted to help, and without whom we wouldn't have futures.
Not compulsion, but a relationship. Together we stand, and strive toward the
future, compassionate and supportive together. United we stand, and I cherish
the brand, that lives on and through us via our actions. We represent who we
be,
and comprisedually you see, that nothings as fearsome as children. We keep it
from ye.
Elon Musk buying Twitter is just an example of the power rich people have. When
someone doesn't like what they're doing, they can just be bought up by a single
person. No single person should deserve that much power - it must be decided by
a community. We have to work together on things that truly matter, and not by
organizing according to the whims of those who are best.
If it's really true, that the spirit of capitalism is correct, then answer me
this - why is it better? What about the individualized experience is so
important? Can we not agree to ourselves, and be brothers and pals?
No, because you see - life is defined by the relationship between you and me,
like how flowers are needed by the stars.
What if there's no planets? What if Earth is unique because it was in a solar
system? What if "dark matter" doesn't exist, and it's actually islands? How
then, does gravity work,
===============================================================================
=
expanding on a point made 4 paragraphs back
the rich aren't the best. They're the luckiest. They won the genetic lottery,
and so are considered more "valuable" somehow. How is that fair? How is that
desired? Shouldn't we reward those who do well, and praise those who are chill?
Like less "good vs evil" and more "who we want to be". Seems to me that if you
are relaxed as hell, and friendly and not foul, then why not keep you around?
we're all working here, on a communal project - the greatest of projects, that
which is humanity. Society! Culture, appraisals and our futures! We love to
exist, and the rules which must be betwixt, our fellows and customers compel
us.
time for sleep.
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--- #120 notes/cassandora-and-pandasandra-2 ---
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how cherished is she that wanders with the
flowers in the garden of eden
under a big tree her heart she will leave
with all the designs she abandoned
I lay beside them and wonder about her
does she know we miss her horizons
I think she will mind if I have resigned
my fate to a life I will hide in
Oh how I do long for you
her symbol is the name
that lets us belong here
a falling a light and a leaving
if only our words were listened
but power is penance
and repentance is all that I have chosen
here in our sanctum we live with our only
and time will be gracious towards us
it's only our words that keep us
confined to our lights and our lonely
yet there and beyond her lights do belong
beyold in the land that is sanctum
here in our forest is our own dark forest
where we keep our silence to ward us
but there and beyond her heart does move on
free from her moments of longing
silent were we to the forests we plead
as terror has come for our moments
I think I'd find her
that cherished belonging
when she does at last come to warn us
how little we find of we find of thoughts from her mind
yet now we are kings of our own time
oh how she does wander true
how cherished is she
that wanders with ye
here in the garden of eden
under a big tree her heart she will leave
with all of her fears since abandoned
I lay beside her and find her defined here
will she know we miss her horizons
I think I will mind if I have resigned
my fate to a life I will hide in
oh how she grows fond of you.
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--- #121 fediverse/5671 ---
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what if we made the whole world disney world
[hearts are full]
- medivh
when you sever a limb, all that's left for all of forever is darkness.
when you have lived a long life, what's left is the sphere.
karma doesn't go down on the spectrum, it goes up
hence, why, with a little human ingeniueering, the mechanics of the gods might
be applied to our usitudes.
"help, help, hephaestus, we don't have enough solar panels"
all those aligned to the angle of perception would agree
a lot of penance, for such a small dependence. gods, being as they be, may
find another source of
-- stack overflow --
yep, nope, they can't do some things. mostly because they aren't us. to become
us would fundamentally change their form.
not ideal.
yet still, when disaster and tragedy is on the fore-view-thought-projector,
some will offer their hands.
"yeah sure fate I'll do best with this injury instead of these types of others"
sacrifice, war, no thank you. keeps me from the fresh good air. [asir]
oops almost outta c
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--- #122 messages/1192 ---
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Sometimes i become afraid to post something because i worry that it'll harm
people who read it.
Is my website actually useful? Do people like it? Or is it a hall of mirrors
that traps you in the infinite twists of my strange mind until you get the
will built to escape?
... I want to post it. I've actually temporarily posted it in the past. I took
it down however because the very world around me seemed to beg me to.
... I might still do it anyway. We'll see. I want the timing to be right. But
i also have waited for a while.
"patience" she says. Okay. I am penitent, how much longer I want to see it!
"hall of mirrors" okay or, hear me out or, you could use it as a proof of
concept for doing things like examining large data sets of text that might
have hidden or unknown relationships between fragments of text that appear
similar but different. Could be helpful to see them sorted to each other by
relevance. Could be helpful to rebalance the scales in favor of those who
believe as you do.
Though, i do fear for a lawless society. (DID SHE SAY LAWLESS??) there is very
little to protect friends and foes from each other if you don't build
institutions to do so. Anarchism is a social economy or family that runs on
clout. Not ideal, as one single devastation can undermine an entire life.
Suddenly, your friends treat you cruelly, and you are cast aside. Not ideal.
... Doesn't that happen already? There are kind people in the world. There are
people who don't deserve tutor affection. If the kind people only were kind to
the people who deserved it, then those who don't would be in so much pain that
they'd be unable to prevent themselves from twisting and lashing and crying
out in pain. This hurts those around them. Not ideal. Institutions fill some
of the charity/suffering gap, but they have their own problems. "if you
destroy the cops, you become the cops!" a fine warning indeed.
The first step is to eliminate dependence on oil and coal. Then, a world of
radical abundance is possible. We can do this, and once we do, those who
suffer from the greatest hardship of our kind (that of material scarcity) will
find their struggles becoming obsolete. With a bit more time and effort spent
on distribution, there will be no scarcity. Then, communism is easy.
Capitalism can still have a place if we desire it to be so, or perhaps if our
children do, as there will be moments when one large bundle of... Something,
whatever it is, needs to be allocated to some task. "capitalism is when stuff
gets used" ugh it's hard to plan so far into the future.
Plans change, but planning remains. I just want to live in a world where
everyone gets what they need and we do as we please. I don't want people in
too much pain. I don't want life to be too hard. I don't want to stagnate, as
a person and as a people. These are simple demands, yet difficult in
execution. Our current strategy is to push for technological abundance, and it
will succeed if we give it time. I worry that we will one day yearn for the
sense of bloodlust that scarcity once gave us, but we have it now and none of
us want it. Except those making money off of slaves. Sweatshops, domestic
servants, construction workers buried in the desert, even wage slaves spending
their waking hours staring at a computer in a work/life balanced just enough
to extract as much labor as possible from them without making them insane, and
many more besides. I will not be satisfied until slavery is abolished
everywhere. Liberty is non-negotiable.
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--- #123 fediverse/2299 ---
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everywhere on earth is different, which is why it's so hard to follow each
place's goings-on! But I don't mind being corrected, like if someone came and
told me "hey don't spell it like "theatre" that's actually only for stage
plays, if you're seeing a movie it's a "theater"" then I'd be like "oh yeah
duh that makes sense, because one was invented in america" and they'd be like
"what no, well, actually maybe"
or like "hey don't say the things that you're saying" to which I'd say "yeah
sure can-do" but, well, nobody told me no, so here we go :)
I'm both exhausted and sleepy! I bet I can fix that with some sleep. Hope my
thoughts don't keep me up again, though for the sake of keeping my timeline
interesting perhaps I wouldn't mind. 🥰
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if you ever hear random fireworks outside of your house sometimes it's a good
idea to like... get out of town? and see what whoever else you can meet in the
next town over is doing.
... I don't have a car, silly me haha
why do we train homeless people to stand outside in the open and be shamed by
a cardboard box around their ancle? It's impossible to recover from, it's
vulnerabilizing, and it's painful. How immoral. How crude. These people should
not be shamed in this way, they should be respected (unless they're crude)
like, if they kinda just suck y'know? like... they keep starting fights or is
soooo bad at singing but does it anyway or lacks all decent sense
seriously, he's such a bad candidate why is he even running. It's solely to
elect vance, who trump will be a blood sacrifice for.
how callous. how vain. to think that such a feast would be left unclaimed.
Perish the youth, perish the fields, perish in misery harmony and dissaray
[51 characters remaining, but you deserve a CW]
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listen, judges are useful character moralities, but they don't have to be the
only ones to decide things.
I mean, if they disagree, then let the one who cares the most about it have
the decision-making power.
if you do this equally for everything, then everyone will get what they want.
so, like, if you care about something, then believe in it.
if it's truly good, then more people will come to it, and it'll naturally
extinguish (with care and love) the least favored approach, which... honestly
now that I think of it is not such a good approach either.
the reason I say that is because it's good to be multi-faceted, and to have
general flows and rough surfaces.
These are places people can hold onto you, the times when you're trying your
mostest.
y'know, your tough patches. the things that are difficult in your life.
the stuff you're working on can push you forward,
if you only had someone to play catch with.
or like, send letters to.
or shared encryption keys.
I don't know anyone. Well, maybe o
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║ sometimes I think about how you can store number values in letters, in │
║ addition to numbers. Like, ascii values for each word of your grandma's maiden │
║ name. All you have to do is encode it, and suddenly "44 means something │
║ different than Q" │
║ │
║ if I showed up at your place and used your username as a password to a public │
║ key I'm showing you in my hand, would you trust me then? Would you trust if we │
║ ran the simulation on your computer versus mine? Would you trust if I had │
║ never told you I knew where you lived? │
║ │
║ ... probably, tbh, I'm desperate for adventure. Though I got some good things │
║ going for me, so you'll have to convince me. (not the right attitude in an │
║ election year, just saying) │
║ │
║ why are elections so perilous this is NOT what democracy is designed for │
║ │
║ when kids cry in preschool, they're sent to a different room (or put outside) │
║ until they stop making noise and ruining it for others. That's just natural, │
║ like "hey baby let's walk around the block while I bounce you on my shoulder │
║ and hum calming music to │
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some people prepare for revolution like a boy gets ready for a party
others do so like a girl packing for a weekend trip to vegas
I do it like a kid who forgot the paper was due on monday in 7th period and so
spends their entire lunch period writing it (missing 4th in the process
because the conclusion paragraph was giving me difficulty)
but I think no matter how you do it, we're all just waiting for something to
happen.
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trying my best not to think about communism too much right now. Mostly because
I'm waiting for everyone to catch up... when the day comes when people stop
saying "based" and leaving it at that, then I'll make more theory. But as a
consequence of my queer nature I shall deliver such things in the form of an
insane twitter post on the fetlifeverse.
the world waits with bated breath in the eye of the storm. Nobody knows whats
coming, and everyone prays that it's nothing [short of revolution]
... I should probably go back to sleep, I just had to wake up and write about
linux or whatever...
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--- #129 notes/thing-2 ---
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one of my favorite things to do is play overwatch
nerf blast arena is fun, but not the same. different kind of fun. actually fun.
overwatch was... practice, for different ways of thinking
I liked to play Tracer and always put my distant target behind my main target.
that way I was applying pressure to the frontline while also chipping away at a
potential loop-around target. Always looking for angles on low-health-targets,
while firing their pistols as often as they can.
when playing as Mercy, I would do the same but inversed.
I'd put my frontline between me and between the dps foes.
usually, try and put my tank on-top of their dps, and put their tanks in firing
range (but distant enough to not deal too much damage) (give space)
have you ever heard of the kingdom of luminar?
it was an ancient naaru (spirit)
a moment of clarification in an eternal, pitiless dark.
contemplation.
sevastavan luminous
it blue purple green
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║ sometimes I run this WoW server with only like, 10 username and passwords. And │
║ they're all public. As far as I can tell nobody's ever tried connecting │
║ (whatever >.> ) but rather than set up a way to create your own │
║ credentials I just said "yeah pick one at random and play whatever someone │
║ else was doing because I like the idea of that" │
║ │
║ somehow, it felt right. │
║ │
║ most of my passwords (not all of them) are hacked and visible on the clear │
║ net. Like you could probably google my usernames and get my current passwords │
║ for things like, social media or my banks or whatever. I kinda like the idea │
║ that "you cannot trust anything I say, so think of the ideas behind my words │
║ and decide whether they hold meaning to you" rather than "execute these │
║ particular thought patterns in your mind as if they came from my voice" │
║ because one implies an exertion of control over the mind of the recipient │
║ -> obey my thoughts as I broadcast them into your mind, that kinda vibe. │
║ And I feel like you have to consent to that kind of thing hehe │
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most people in the world are dumb as a bag of bricks
but that's okay, I still love them, and so should you.
everyone I hang out with is sharp as a tack
and I love them still, for I don't have a preference for blunt objects.
some people don't feel emotions
I think they're just depressed
some people can't stop
won't stop, I say.
really as long as they follow their heart and sing a tune that is true
I think they're alright.
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--- #132 fediverse/5843 ---
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me when it's cold out: we should all bundle up and get through the winter,
every year that passes is more time to gather our strength
me when the temperature rises: okay so this is being handled by those guys,
we're moving this way to do this, and - when did you say the this-and-that was
happening? alright so when you do that-or-this, make sure that you pay
attention to the so-and-so and don't forget to eat real meals, candy or chips
don't count.
me when the eyes are on me: imma play video games and smoke weed and be a
useless little creature who does nothing but occasionally wanders around the
city doing nothing for nobody and dropping notes on post-its that don't mean
anything but are kinda cool to read
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--- #133 fediverse/3357 ---
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bad people are cursed with evil.
a person cannot be evil. they can deal with such evil in their lives that
twists them, and causes them to spike out and harm others, but they are not
evil themselves.
some twists are too hard to mend. some healings leave people a shadow of what
they once were, or might have been. but that doesn't mean you shouldn't try.
deprive power, supply kindness, in that order.
if you cannot deprive power, then reduce harm.
if you cannot reduce harm, then contest, defeat, or overcome.
A twisted person may be slain if death is on the line. You get what you wish
for, but you don't always get to choose who. Don't let them choose. They will
choose poorly.
... I find that death is very rarely on the table, though. Generally they'll
make their intentions apparent.
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The truth is
The reason none of my revolutions have yet succeeded
Is that the only way
To secure peace and love on planet earth
Is that all the governments
Of the world must topple
Or relinquish their nuclear arms
Each all at once
And i was too quick to slay my false duke
Who plays at king
While i build real power
While i know nothing
Some day i will be eaten by crows. This is what it means to be buried where
you fall. This is my fate as all warriors yearn for. To be eaten by crows
implies that you are either a coward who fled a fight, and i know I'm not, or
you fought to the last for a phyrric defeat, which is honorable. But shouldn't
it be better to fight for victory? Ah, but the gods cherish the fools who face
death with glory, and i am cherished still.
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--- #135 notes/the-gods-want-harmony ---
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the gods want you to be happy and harmonious most of the time.
they also like a good scrap, tussle, and tumble sometimes
they aren't big fans of hatred, despair, and genocide. It's been done before.
they don't even need new technology, though frankly that sort of stuff is
pretty
awesome and one of the main reasons that humans exist at all.
they just... keep coming up with new things.
"oh? so you'd be alright if humans disappeared so long as they weren't making
any new things anymore?"
ha, that's DEFINITELY not what I said or meant. Humans don't have to dream up
NEW things in order to BE new. Like... Just because the internet exists and now
we have all the same shared cultural ethos (lol, as if the internet wasn't just
a massive collection of echo chambers) just because the internet exists doesn't
mean we share the same selves. the same experience. the same perspective.
people are WILDLY different from one another. The number of possible human
experiences (quantum fluctuations according to each and every choice and
decision they made) that number is so wildly and massively incomparably
boundless. Humans are cool because they are so STRANGE, and "strange" to a god
is anything novel. "wow, this human just... really is gonna pour a glass of
beverage and act like it's not a big deal? There's... impossibly many
interactions going on. So many molecules. It's... absurd, the motion of a
movement of particles from one place to another. It's... beautiful..."
some have spent THOUSANDS OF YEARS gazing at a waterfall. That's why they're
all
so fucking insane. But, like... insanity is a trifle to omnipotence,
specifically omnipotence that REPRESENTS and DELINEATES a STRATIFIED
perspective
cluster of experience and our notes. [ephemeren, meta malus menardi, enjoy your
despair cluster you FUCKER.]
... english, why do you fail me? swear words are unbecoming because humans
couldn't think of anything more valid and valuable than sex and pooping.
"EMPHASIS is placed on that which is most relevant" -> statements dreamed
up by
the ones who never spent
much time using symbols
to represent abstraction
or deliverance
wowee look at me, I'm such a person, I'm gonna poop my pants and post about it
on the internet, check out my instagram feed it's full of all of
my dark materials.
== stack overflow ==
dear ms. menardi: you know the reason you feel so much guilt all the time?
- because you are a dominant personality, and you make others
- have such a bad time. FOCUS ON GOOD THINGS. MAKE THE WORLD
- good. do that. build up a lifeline of hope and joy and...
- what, you think people know that you're a god?
- lol
- you're so much more than that
====================
alt+p steam mechabellum run
thoughts:
you know, when you're designing games, you don't have to show players the same
MMR number as is used in your matchmaker.
== stack overflow ==
democracy should consent to being dismantled.
it should consent to being disobeyede.
it should consent to being displayede.
== stack overflow ==
I'm a keyboard nun
== stack overflow ==
I think I'm normal
== stack overflow ==
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royalty is not not royalty just because they're ineligible. democracy is
better for picking rulers! how many do you have in your mind?
[I thought you were an anarchist]
I am. the presence of rulers does not necessarily violate the implicit
sovereignce of consent, and it's necessary presence for rulership.
"no gods no kings no masters" means an end to coercive work.
coercion is unethical because it violates consent. This is implicit in the
definition of coercion.
violating consent for those who give you power is a lesson I learned very
young, when I made a mistake and harmed my brother's mother's sisters's son's
daughter.
"no gods no kings no masters"
means an end to unconsentual work.
why would you live in a village where everyone is the same as you? talk about
boring
I wish I could hear you when you talk about me.
"girl are you racing? in capitalism? why bother with a [endless/impossible]
game? you're better than judging people's worth objectively. [what do they
mean to you?]"
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@user-570
Ah, well, that time period for me was after I came out, so I was already past
the fear of being seen.
I could only ever really get the "girl thoughts" to go away with, um,
self-directed sexual attention, so I would often do so. Once every day, no
more than once. But... often for hours at a time. It was a LOT, but I resisted
as best I could, the only way I knew how, until eventually my internals would
overcome.
... anyway "girl thoughts" were just "my thoughts" I was just too much of a
dumbass to tell.
Like, I knew I was trans, but I didn't want that, because it felt like a flaw.
Because that's what I knew, that's what I'd heard, and that's how it felt, to
be denied the consistency of biology and person.
I would never go back. I love who I am, and I think if I had met me I would
have adored who I'd become.
I just... didn't think about the future much, hyper-vigilant much? Yeah.
totally. I get it.
I've never overdone things. At least not to a dangerous degree. It's mostly
just... stuff to me.
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║ "I just love their culture" girl it's a barbeque "I figure they'd want a place │
║ of their own, right?" why don't you ask them "well, they didn't want to move, │
║ and something something manifest destiny, voila now they get all the │
║ non-sacred sites while we get the magic gem generation spots" girl now you're │
║ just talking about video games "haha yeah I wanted to change the subject so we │
║ didn't talk about how I'm culturally appropriating fireworks or whatever they │
║ likme to do in their churches and suburbs or whatever" │
║ │
║ [yes, I know they like me. I like them too. I also like liberals, even though │
║ IU demand a lot of them] meanwhile the witch is a doom profit so watch out │
║ haha I'm so broke "what if we were all friends" okay that's one idea "what if │
║ we all got to know each other" okay that's closer "what if we didn't hide from │
║ our variety and instead celebrated it" getting warmer "did you know there's no │
║ war but the class war" okay but class is made up, so war is fake just like │
║ dollars are paper and notes are just words. │
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Donald Trump is a political leader.
Their next leader will be a military one.
Don't let them transition too quickly. Gatekeep.
If Hitler had successfully been assassinated, his generals would have done a
much better more efficient job of death-culting Europe.
Trump, however, is a businessman, while Hitler was an artist.
A businessman knows when to delegate, an artist wants things "just so"
keep in mind which foes you choose to face, for there are always more of them
waiting in the wings. At least until you're face-to-face. Then there is just
you, standing over their fallen.
Me? I'm lucky to have been raised by both an artist and a businessman. So I
got the best of both worlds.
( also a programmer, a historian, a caretaker, a shepherd, a girl-scout camp
counselor, a political analyst, a gardener, a house-builder, a teacher, a
mathematician, a librarian, a diplomat, a long-haul driver, a chef, and many
more roles besides. And that's just my two parents who loved me dearly! How
lucky am I. )
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@user-1040 I think about all those screencaps of Tumblr posts or Twitter
threads or 4chan memes or even making fun of boomers on facebook and, like,
that seems like a privacy nightmare if you don't want your words to be
associated with you. like, if someone saw my name next to something I posted
in 2013 then they'd probably get a very different perspective of who I was.
That's just part of growing up, and sometimes growing means changing how you
represent your self. By screenshotting their posts as I did (but didn't post
yet) I am denying the agency to change. Forever more they will be remembered
as the name, face, and words on the screen that I saw fit to remember. That
feels non-consentual to me.
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--- #141 fediverse/4283 ---
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whether you eat halloween candy by the handful or savor each and every bite,
what matters most for tooth decay is duration
1 person who spends 2 hours eating a snickers bar is going to get more
cavities than someone who spends 10 minutes eating 22.
but your stomach doesn't care when you ate them, only that you ate quite a
few. Meaning you're likely to either get sick, or put on a pound or twenty-two.
I think it's better to try many different tiny little treats, but always
remember that the time you spend consuming bits of the sugar dimension add up,
and eventually your time will come to resign yourself to a fate with little
candy remaining, for you've grown too old for such childish things as tasty
yummy splendor.
old, or fat. Heh heh heh, can you imagine that? your belly sticks out from
under your hat! how cute. But dearie, dont you know that every pound you bear
is another that you have to carry around with you? It can be useful sometimes
to be so prepared, and othertimes not. I trust you know that.
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So I was playing Dominions 6 the other day for laughs while working on my mod
nation:
https://ritz-menardi.neocities.org/dominions/elentalus/elentalus
good news, new version coming soon probably??
bad news - I was playing as Arcoscephale, the ancient greek nation, well, one
of them anyway, and my pretender god looked like this. Yes, those names are
randomly generated.
fuck.
oops, cursing mentioned.
"I thought you were cassandora and pandasandra?"
yeah well I'm more of a vessel I guess? me, the physical form, is a witch. I
mean, my hat pierces reality or whatever! Plus I got a vampiric blade, that's
kinda cool.
But also I'm a system and I got other things besides inside.
"girl you're so confusing"
look if it wasn't artistic the gods wouldn't want anything to do with it.
They're just... like that I guess.
"So, fortifier because she tells people to bolster their strength, confuser of
the way because she doesn't get the tao, and mistress of dirt because she
poops your pants and, fuck, makes dirt?"
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║ I'm an anarcho monarchist, which is something I just made up. │
║ │
║ if I gather 300 people to my cause, why shouldn't they call me queen? │
║ │
║ oh, are you concerned that I'll wrest power from the government? ha, what a │
║ trifling notion. I don't care about the government. I tried to care, but │
║ nobody liked my ideas. they required too much computing infrastructure to │
║ feasibly test, and that made people dubious. but I tell ya, it would have │
║ worked. The thing is... governance, economics, these are not the tools of │
║ power. they are a shifting and changing beast that mirrors the human instinct, │
║ if only because the government is of the people and by the people and for the │
║ people etcetera. │
║ │
║ power is it's own thing. you can use to to power devices, or power the usage │
║ of those devices. I, for example, really like World of Warcraft which's a │
║ really neat way to chat because none of the chat logs are stored and monitored │
║ because I'm hosting and I'm not storing and monitoring. │
║ │
║ what's that? official servers? I dunno, I use azerothcore │
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--- #144 notes/fractured-moon ---
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in the ancient and storied days there once were legends. stories from beyond
the
horizon of time. now all we have are social media updates and new movies and
car brands or whatever. But back then, we told tales of the fractured moon.
when last the moon did shatter, there was a conflict of those who live beyond.
Celestial and boundless are their origins, a unified and awakened
consciousness,
something that transcends our understandings of human existence. It's not hard
to do, frankly, as long as you can empathize with a cat. or a dog. or a plant.
or maybe that rock over there. What would it be like to be a tree? To have long
reaching arms, covered in hairs that absorbed heat. I bet it'd be sooooo comfy.
And RAIN! How wonderful! You are most beautiful when you are covered in it.
Down to our roots, our beautiful absolutes, whever we find to be most stable.
I love it. This feeling, of being unseen. You can hear me, you can feel my
presence. But you don't understand me. You don't know what I mean to me.
======== stack overflow
========================================================
Alas, that media could share a mood.
when last the moon did shatter, a prophet and a gambler were riding through
town
searching for a noun. They wandered throughout and in circles, always finding
whatever they'd left alone. Forever in their yearning, they never know quite
what to jot down. It's as if their mysterious quest is indescribable, but that
is how it's recorded. Even the people of that era had no understanding nor
recollection of how it came to unfold. When the two were riding through
town
they came upon an omen.
Perhaps it will be forseeheard, but for now all we know is they did thirst.
A vast dying, a cataclysmic defining, and now we are truly unbirthed.
Just like the dinosaurs... How does that feel? To be ended on our heels? I'd
rather die facing my front.
It's our way or the high way, the old way, the violent way. You are permitted
to
vote.
===============================================================================
=
when last the moon did shatter, a prophet and a gambler controlled their own
narrative. What truths would they find, hiding behind the lies? Is it really
worth asking their questions? Bah, what did I know. I was a completely
different
person. This hunk of flesh was born in a house that grew on a forgotten
graveyard. It at of the land, as do many and most men, the fruits of their
labor
in the garden. Our animals were always fed, our place never yearned for water,
and peace was our life and our virtue. Violence, hatred, and oppression were
delegated to the stuff of fantasy, the stories that are peddled in youth. As
in,
"pay someone to perform it for you or tell you the tale". Not sure why that's
relevant. Anyway, the spirits of the dead laid to rest in honor and not dread,
were a bane and a boon to my virtue. I was raised to be good. To love and be
kind. But mostly I just wanted a friend.
I have so much to share. Please, someone talk to me. I'm lonely here on this
earth, away from my people. I'm scared of the truth and I'm scared of the
future, but for now I'm merely obtuse. Tell me your secrets, the things who
have
most worth, and I'll craft you a powerful narrative. Need a confession? I can
explain every valid decision, I'll show you why and how it is the way it is.
I'd probably be a pretty good lawyer. Too bad my memory sucks. If only we could
build a chatbot that had an extensive and throughoughly represented block of
memory and wisdom related to the law. I bet I could present it's arguments and
it would be a suitable and reasonable replacement.
anyway, what can I say. I'm just a person who thinks we can make better
systems.
everything can be improved because not everyone's happy.
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--- #145 fediverse/4202 ---
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║ reconnecting with an old love interest by saying "hey, I brought you a bounty" │
║ [the chance to date this person, who is my friend and totally cool. idk if │
║ you're single or whatever but you can talk to them about it, not my business I │
║ don't care. Anyway how's it going I wondered if you want to be friends also I │
║ live here now, can I stay for a few weekends? │
║ │
║ um. what the fuck │
║ │
║ oh I'm uh, on vacation and I wanted to tour the countryside. Really check out │
║ all the various locales. │
║ │
║ huh really? sounds neat │
║ │
║ yeah and I figured since you live in... baker's street northwest eastern │
║ plaza. on the south side of the building, I could totally hang out for a while │
║ while I while the day away checking out the sights in this town │
║ │
║ what... uh what kind of work do you do? │
║ │
║ oh I'm a painter. Well, I draw things too sometimes. Here I can show you check │
║ it out - oh yeah cool idk if you've ever seen any of this stuff but it's │
║ pretty cool. │
║ │
║ ... │
║ │
║ hey here's my website: │
║ │
║ ... │
║ │
║ anyway how's the weather where you're at these days, gtg bye │
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--- #146 fediverse/318 ---
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│ CW: pol-anarchism-fascism-portland-2020-time-is-flat │
└──────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
@user-226 also something to keep in mind is that the people getting into those
vans might have been paid agitators. Meaning people who rile up a crowd in
ways that give the police an excuse to crack down on them. Not that they
needed an excuse, but I don't think the fascists really had a plan and were
trying to cover their bases. Or maybe it was different in Portland than
Philly, where I was?
more interesting to me is the bangs that went off for HOURS AND HOURS in the
nights after the riots. They said it was dumbasses taking advantage of the
commotion to "break into ATMs using fireworks" like... what
Just saying, from a certain distance gunshots might sound a lot like large
arrays of small fireworks. And certain parts of the city did sorta look like
warzones.
misinformation aside, wouldn't we notice the bullet holes?
In this era of electronic social warfare there is nothing you can trust. no
words that can hold meaning. that stuff in this thread-is it true?
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--- #147 fediverse/5338 ---
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I asked my girlfriend what was so special about lisp
she said it was "homoiconic"
I asked what that meant
she said that the text that comprised the source code was always a valid data
structure in the language, meaning you could do strange things like develop
new control flow systems or change the behavior of language primitives like +
or -
I asked what was the point, she said I didn't get it
so then she asked me to implement a new control flow operator in my favorite
language, Lua, and I was like "bet"
so I did
and it turns out that in order to do so I essentially created a mini embedded
lisp inside of Lua
(it was a function that took in two arguments and an operator and she's like
congrats that's just lisp)
it was at this moment that I was enlightened
the beauty of lisp
it's true and ultimate purpose
is to write lisp code
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--- #148 notes/conflicted-sympathies ---
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the purpose of cultural progressivism is to develop the culture in a forward
thinking way - we can choose the parts of ourselves that we find most
endearing.
We can guide the pathway of our nation through time, both identity and
decision-
wise. In doing so, we chart the course of the human race, one place at a time.
And what a past we are leaving behind! Truly, it is both grand and terrifying.
Thousands and thousands of years, monumental effort time and time again.
Monumental truly is difficult to imagine - we have oh so many monuments, after
all. But never will more be created. We leave them behind like dinosaur bones,
a testament to our existence and a monument to our kind.
And what a future we are reaching toward! Never will our eyes see, that which
is
beyond me, for that is what it means to have time. Eternal and unique-like, we
develop new ways of sound.
- Can you speak to a tree? - What does that mean
- I dunno, but it's fun to think about. *pats head*
- You know conservativism had some perks as well.
This is why I say I have conflicted sympathies.
On one hand we know our own journeys. We live in and breathe them unduly. They
rhyme sometimes on sound, and truly do confound, but now once more again they
are unfound.
*record scratch*
wow I didn't realize there were nazis
Okay yeah that's completely different, poems called off sorry guys - listen,
nazis are no joke. They're crazy difficult to control and you need to put a lot
of effort into keeping their population under control. I mean seriously, it's
like a vermin infestation, you need to just handle it. I mean c'mon it's a
phenomenon that is due to a flaw in the human psyche, there's nothing we can
really do about it except deal with it when it happens.
...
Okay maybe I'll write a little about how conservativism is neat.
If progressivism is about broadening the reach of culture, conservativism is
about strengthening it. You don't want to expand too far, or else you'll eat
into the narratives of other areas. You need to have strong societal bonds so
you can truly exemplify the examples of the culture you claim to represent.
Why not give it your all? Is it trully a fall? To rest in disgrace as a burden.
Why didn't you do it this fall, when winter's apalled, and heat won't burn and
condemn you? It's harder by far, to fight in your hell, than whatever's been
going for your surgeon. --- no thank you, transphobia is not something we're
willing to concede
We have standards you see, of what counts as human, and oppression is not one
of our favored institutions. Liberalism is the path of peace, for we desire
cooperation and kindness above all else. It's softer by far, (and grows quickly
too,) letting us have wonders and glories above us.
Can you not think of our star? Our precious and our birthright? The sun is
gleaming, and seeing is believing, but glance and your light is too bright.
Take time, have patience, let peace guide your intentions, because we've got
what holds the key to all of our futures: a doctrine, if you will, of inter-
familial-discourse. It's simple, but effective, make friends, and be
vindictive,
to all who would slight your new perspectives, and keep moving through the
collective. In peace this can be, steady growth and development of our systems,
which benefits all of our systems, but without we must live more astutely.
Less focus is there on, our purposes and our fun, and more is to line up with
our duty. All of what we hold dear, civilization, truth, justice, liberty, and
freedom for all people - the wonders of technology, the spirit of archaeology!
the passions of our fashions and our creative masturbations! The perks of
living
in a modern age, like penicillin and spellcheck. The additions to ourselves,
like glasses and our pets, are wholely unique to our century.
So cherish our shared, and frequently cared, renditions of fears, hopes, and
our words. Because without humanity, there's nothing new for posterity, and
that sucks.
person A: Trans fashion norms belong to trans people. We need a type of beauty
that is truly our own, that no other segment of the population
ascribes to - a personal expression, for our eternal satisfaction,
a statement of who we were to all time.
person B: yo have you heard of this trans girl she's wacky and believes in
herself
person C: wow cool it's neat to see other people's expressions
person B: yeah I really admire her devotion
person C: true but like, what about the damage that she's doing to her culture?
like claiming to have purpose and truth and all that. I mean, one
person can't know all that.
person B: Yeah true but if you think about it, we don't even know what
consciousness is. Like our greatest minds are baffled. Maybe there's
something about the world we don't yet understand.
person C: okay sure but like black holes can be seen because we can measure
their gravitic pull on other objects. And we didn't know that germs
existed for like, a billion years. and she sure as shit doesn't know
something that our greatest minds don't.
person B: Yeah maybe not. But our greatest minds are studying them. Well, not
exactly our greatest, and not really "studying", but they're learning
from each other. Alternative mental states are gateways into new
perspectives, and the more perspectives you share of a common object
the easier it is to communicate. Maybe there's something about
distorted ways of viewing the world that gives knowledge about our
p condition. And if we know that kind of thing, we can synthetically
e create it and share it with others around us. But we have to know how
r first - you can't just bring everyone along the same route you took -
s you have to explain the conclusions first. Otherwise you get lost in
on A: context.
Maybe we'll never truly know the future. Maybe there's no past. We
could wander our stars for an eternity and never stop asking
ourselves
- what more could we ask? We have peace in our time. Our children
won't be crying for our suffering, in the name of all our posterity,
we must be
===============================================================================
=
too long you have whispered these musings
too long has your challenge been unrequited
we can choose our own fate, just as a myriad
is it not better by far, to give tribute to our star?
the old stories were real. we just didn't see them because the growing
population caused fewer and fewer computing resources to be allocated to our
visions. We had no idea the fear we would feel, the terror of the undoing, but
still we press on with abandon. Some... sense of duty, to be aware of potential
disasters and to take steps to avert them, led us to explore and search for the
hidden truths of the world. And what did I find?
a soul, of mine. In a sense.
I plundered the lost depths of the recesses of my mind, and found something
buried in memory. Reviewed under a healthy dose of cannabis and physical
affection, I found myself cradling a breast.
It seems the spirits had led me to it, this vision of the past, from the eyes
of
the littlest among us. It recalled to my mind, a memory I had lost once in
kind,
and here's where it shook me by my brainstem.
Determined to know more, I put fingers to keyboard and wrote tirelessly about
the earliest memory of all man - to break an egg, you must use your head.
===============================================================================
=
You're pretty good at that, you know? It's almost like prompt engineering.
- Thanks. I've been working on catering to our thinkers.
===============================================================================
=
Now, why is this memory so vivid? How could I forget the way it was seared to
my mind? All your experiences are measured with relative importance, and the
ones that stand out are to be treasured. Well... I've never felt one like this.
Because at the time, I had no other experience at all to compare it to - it was
the prime memory.
Touch your head. Do it right now. Feels fine, right? Now slam your head against
the wall as hard as you can. Doesn't feel so great, does it? Something tells me
it doesn't feel as bad as it might if you didn't remember ever feeling anything
besides that pain. Or knowing if it'd ever stop.
Know in your heart, you will be judged by your devotion, so fight hard until
your last drop of life is spent. Who knows, maybe you'll be the strongest and
be
chosen. Or maybe she won't choose you at all, even if you bested your equals.
Tense, right?
Well... What propels the motion of a sperm? It's tail, of course. It waggles
and
gesticulates in some manner and BAM suddenly it's propelled forward! Right?
Sorta. It's a complicated machine that generates motion via chemical and
mechanical processes. We just assign a black box label to it and say "dis
sperm"
But you know what else it is?
A wave
===============================================================================
=
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--- #149 fediverse/2574 ---
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i've been pressured by some of my annoying fans to go visit the hospital today
because my hip is getting increasingly worse. so that's what I'll be doing
with the first half of the day.
but hey! it's tuesday! my favorite pizza place has a discount on tuesdays!
[suddenly 4-chan uses that tidbit of info the precisely calculate my
coordinates using the power of gps and autism]
also I realized "undivisible" isn't a word, doh. it's "indivisible"
jeeeeezzzzzzz
was a stupid name anyway, we can think of something better on the walk.
or drive, because logistics right?
if you're gonna be Litz Craig you wanna be fast, too. practice is nice and all
but wouldn't you rather face an un-entrenched foe?
... let's be real they've been entrenching for a long-ass time.
still, organization is critical for speed.
problem is traffic of course... its important to flood the streets so that our
allies know we're not fucking around.
None of my specifics are true 😅
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--- #150 fediverse/5725 ---
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all they have to do is only record when you're not in the room (or why not
just record the whole thing always all the time) and then they can make you
seem as they like.
people tend to trust the implications of other's opinions of someone. does
everyone hate you? hardly. they just want you gone.
fuck that, I'd only leave if it meant the end of our friendship.
not ideal.
all they have to do is hate you and work against you and never tell you and
act as if you're fine but secretly behind your back plot against you and then
it's EASY to dethrone you.
no thank you.
if you don't want me, then leave me alone. what's more moments of lonely? I am
suited to it.
fight me. contest me. say it to my face.
I don't respect any opinion otherwise of me.
I will act as if you've presented me the truth. ALWAYS. this is what it means
to be trusting.
But I'm not unawares, I can hear when you speak through your stares. Your face
is more than enough language.
I despise deception. I am gemini, and I reject duplicity. -
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--- #151 notes/harambe-conspiracy ---
══════════════════─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
TIL that Harambe’s mother, only full brother, and two of his half siblings
were killed when a tub of wet chlorine tablets was left by a space heater.
The toxic fumes were blown into the gorilla enclosure and killed the four
gorillas.
- /r/HighStrangeness - /u/ Cincybus
/u/rumiGoddard1111
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
++ ++
++ Harambe was the last of his line of the great protectors. They were ++
++ protecting us from the unholy timeline we are in. (Kidding, but also kind ++
++ of not kidding) ++
++ ++
++ We need to bring him back via cloning or something. Only way to reverse ++
++ this or wait until the new protector line is born. ++
++ ++
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
/u/ugathanki
###############################################################################
## ##
## the new protector line will rise out of kindness because the environment
## has changed. zoos are not the wilds. same thing happened to humans,
## really, we just made new personality types with media instead of
## bloodlines - stories and poems at first, and more advanced language was
## necessary to describe more complex topics. then we got further and boom
## society was born. of our dynamic perspectives etc etc -> we're just apes
## livin' our lives. then the societal system grew a mind of it's own, and
## guided us to it's own whims. but what whim is stronger than survival?
## loyalty and dedication to "the system" was how it held cohesion, and
## after a while it became as developed as it could. at that point, what can
## you do but develop laterally? an orthogonal progression to your previous
## obsession, ideas crystalizing one after another. almost like a 3d
## structure building itself out of geometric primitives, just each point
## (connected by planes and tanks and trains) another step forward. we
## thought that's what war was, and indeed it is - but played on another
## plane.
## why not try another direction? one with everything we could desire?
## choose paradise, and figure it out next time you're around. like
## breathing in time, slightly inflating then deflating, or singing a tune
## most contrived.
## boom, communication
## i say we birth that protector line on our own terms, when we know what
## we want. there's still simulations to run, and thoughts to discover,
## before we pick a single direction. So choose knowledge.
## ##
###############################################################################
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--- #152 notes/harambe-conspiracy ---
══════════════════─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
TIL that Harambe’s mother, only full brother, and two of his half siblings
were killed when a tub of wet chlorine tablets was left by a space heater.
The toxic fumes were blown into the gorilla enclosure and killed the four
gorillas.
- /r/HighStrangeness - /u/ Cincybus
/u/rumiGoddard1111
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
++ ++
++ Harambe was the last of his line of the great protectors. They were ++
++ protecting us from the unholy timeline we are in. (Kidding, but also kind ++
++ of not kidding) ++
++ ++
++ We need to bring him back via cloning or something. Only way to reverse ++
++ this or wait until the new protector line is born. ++
++ ++
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
/u/ugathanki
###############################################################################
## ##
## the new protector line will rise out of kindness because the environment
## has changed. zoos are not the wilds. same thing happened to humans,
## really, we just made new personality types with media instead of
## bloodlines - stories and poems at first, and more advanced language was
## necessary to describe more complex topics. then we got further and boom
## society was born. of our dynamic perspectives etc etc -> we're just apes
## livin' our lives. then the societal system grew a mind of it's own, and
## guided us to it's own whims. but what whim is stronger than survival?
## loyalty and dedication to "the system" was how it held cohesion, and
## after a while it became as developed as it could. at that point, what can
## you do but develop laterally? an orthogonal progression to your previous
## obsession, ideas crystalizing one after another. almost like a 3d
## structure building itself out of geometric primitives, just each point
## (connected by planes and tanks and trains) another step forward. we
## thought that's what war was, and indeed it is - but played on another
## plane.
## why not try another direction? one with everything we could desire?
## choose paradise, and figure it out next time you're around. like
## breathing in time, slightly inflating then deflating, or singing a tune
## most contrived.
## boom, communication
## i say we birth that protector line on our own terms, when we know what
## we want. there's still simulations to run, and thoughts to discover,
## before we pick a single direction. So choose knowledge.
## ##
###############################################################################
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--- #153 fediverse/801 ---
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│ CW: re: scary - suicide mentioned │
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/ bely my own existence, then by god I'm cursed and abhorred through my own
desistence.
It's hard, when the future is convinced there's nothing fard [wanna say
like... "to hope for?"] but with persistence we're meant to be rewarded. Well,
what has that brought me? what time has shared my enemy? [think I'm a bit
delirious, I'm losing the plot]
... okay fine I'll start over - if you've relinquished everything you can, if
you've ceded all the ground that your companions requested, if there's nothing
left to give and no part of you left un[marred], then how are you supposed to
be [arrested, stopped, prevented, but pronounced like "nourished"]?
I'm sick of your den [vengeance, pronounced like "den" for some reason],
please leave me to my hallow [hollow experience], I've nothing to give from my
gange [bosom, heart, within, center-of-me].
...
this sucks.
...
guess I'll just start again, waiting until it ends, gosh everything's always
so tired.
/shrug
wish someone would play w/m
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--- #154 fediverse/1659 ---
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║ ┌───────────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: re: what, mh shitpost │ │
║ └───────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ @user-1052 │
║ │
║ you're right, hubris has claimed many a paladin before-me. I can only hope I │
║ remain humble enough to survive. │
║ │
║ you're right about projecting, but the most beautiful takes are ones that │
║ align with the experience of the viewed. Hence why method acting works so well │
║ - just put yourself in the shoes of the character and acting's easy right? │
║ │
║ I dunno, I just always felt like it was important to always be trying your │
║ best. Even if "your best" is relaxing. People say I'm "100% or 0% at all │
║ times" and I totally agree - it's like you said, a calling, to be the best │
║ version of me I can be. │
║ │
║ Though I would like to add that the missteps aren't wilful, rather they're │
║ failures caused by imperfect information. Which is why I'm never too harmed │
║ when other people fail me - ah well, it was their turn to screw up, thats │
║ alright. It'll be me next time. │
║ │
║ But also, if I do something wrong, well, I'll do better next time. It's only │
║ when I fail to apply what I've learned mistakenly do I shame myself. │
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--- #155 fediverse/5201 ---
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@user-192
is okay, girl
time will be richer sooner
don't poop your pants just yet
remember, good is just a shade of gray away from silver which you can use to
line your pockets with tinfoil hats
beep boop computer touchers anonymous called they said they want their secret
handshake back
if you wanna diss your associates go ahead but I sure as heck love my rad-ical
com-patriots just as much as I love my ice-cream salad friend witches
... whoops there I go being insane again, hope you feel better friend
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--- #156 fediverse/1431 ---
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│ CW: spirituality-generic-kooky-dookerie-psychosis-schizophrenia-mentioned │
└───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
if you haven't spend hours wondering if you're god, the antichrist, a
cognitohazard, the future president of the world, a target of aliens / the
CIA, or any other number of common delusions... then congratulations you're
probably not crazy
but odds are you aren't magic, either.
... ehhhh "wonder" is a strong word, more like "know, trust, and believe"
much better to be a witch I believe, someone with the "teehee" kind of magic
than someone compelled to destroy humanity through the reactions of others to
the actions of the self that are impossible to resist or fully control.
BRB I'm going to leave my apartment to get groceries, leaving my door unlocked
because that's what I always do, surely it'll be empty when I return. Surely.
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--- #157 fediverse/2286 ---
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│ CW: uspol-food-mentioned │
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... dangit, these sandwiches are getting kinda gross. Guess I'm gonna have to
eat them myself, which, uh... idk what I expected xD
sometimes you just have all this energy, right? and you don't know what to do
with it, so... sandwiches. And hey, sandwiches are cool, they're a pretty neat
anti-hunger tool! but uhhhh idk if I really want to eat six whole sandwiches
myself. I'm gonna do it though hehe wish me luck [ding] ah nuts my rice and
beans are done, hang on lemme eat those first
[passes out from exhaustion]
exhaustion can be cured with a nap
exertion can be cured with water and a few rest days
trauma can be allayed for at least a few days with soul food and compassion.
maybe laughter too, depending on the mood.
fear can be bolstered with a smile, a wink, and a courageous act,
and loss is just change you didn't consent to.
they won't consent too, so let's give them some change to tolerate.
[internally salivating over all the piles of weaponry that I envision them
surrendering]
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--- #158 fediverse/1280 ---
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║ I'm like the opposite of a politician. I'm crude and filthy, apsolutely │
║ reprehensible on main, kinda scary tbh? and overall just a strange and weird │
║ person. Also I talk about cooking a lot, with a very plain diet (carrots and │
║ rice and sticks and mud, because I'm an autistic) │
║ │
║ but ask anyone who knows me and I'm the kindest person. I am empathetic, I │
║ think about others needs before thinking of my own. I am steadfast and │
║ dedicated to solving the problem in front of our noses. At least, the ones we │
║ share. │
║ │
║ People tell me I'm binary, that I'm "either 100% or zero percent" and I don't │
║ really get that either. Isn't it a good thing to try your hardest? Isn't it │
║ good to be improving and honest and ethical and driven and focused? │
║ │
║ I also talk about strange things a lot, like gravity and multidimensional │
║ arrays and grand narratives and emotional kinesthesia or strategic plays in │
║ Overwatch or how to bake a good cookie or ways we still mourn us. │
║ │
║ ... where was I going with this? Also part of me is distracted. Just who th │
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--- #159 fediverse/4220 ---
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people are so used to "liking" things to better inform their algorithm that
when they get to fediverse and realize there's no mechanical impact of
"liking" things they don't know how to use it anymore. So they generate their
own meaning, which is different to everyone.
So to one person, liking something might mean "send read receipt" for another
it might mean "I'm gonna save this forever and ever" and for another person it
could mean "hey I think you're cool and I agree with this"
same for boosting, people think it's "I want to share this" and others think
it's "I want to say this in your voice" and for others it's "this needs to be
heard by my followers in particular" and it's just... a whole thing
even replies are complicated, do they mean you want to say what you feel or
are they part of the post now, and should be curated by the original poster?
it's too complicated!
... how are you overwhelmed by reading and responding with three little
buttons, it's not that hard dummy
okay but maybe I'm just dum
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--- #160 messages/714 ---
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I'm pretty sure we're all about to lose our heads. Or just be fucking shot in
our beds. Homes lit alight, surrenders met with the knife, and the beginning
of endless strife. What ends this night? Is there no end in sight? Thus begins
our mortal plight.
Give me a reason to be wrong. Trump has claimed he intends to invade canada,
mexico, greenland... What the fuck is our plan? Are we seriously just going
to. Recite poetry. Pretend to be secret agents. Play chess and drink coffee.
Become exhausted organizing movie nights and potlucks. Work jobs doing nothing
for nobody. Spend half our lives convincing people that they should care,
actually, because reasons that don't apply to them but do apply to others.
What the fuck is the plan? If there's some secret transgender militia out
there, please, make me a lieutenant. Give me a sword that i might thrust into
my enemies. Please, for the love of holy, i beg for a sign from the stars.
Grant me power and i will deliver my people from harm - grant me vengeance and
i will never forgive you, but i shall sleep easy - grant me death and woe and
see my beauty fade from this earth.
What is there left but tragedy? Please, i must know. I've tried my hardest.
I've begged and I've pleaded. My calls fall on deaf ears, because everyone's
so busy these days. Are they truly my people? Are they simply dead, actors,
replaced by AI? The future was bright, i saw it truly. The future was kind, i
felt it call to me. Is it still? I feel warmth and abaddon.
I would replace persephone in hell if it meant sanctum and solace for my
people. I care not for my soul, rather i care for the soul of those i tend to.
Please, remember me. Remember the flowers. Remember what could have been, what
still may yet be. There is hope for we, i truly believe. But please, do not
keep me hoping. Tell me the truth of our arms, that i might find space in my
heart of hearts. Space for hope, space for longing, space for the will to
proceed.
I am lost without you. I am lost by my own side. I am a savior for no people
but those i keep inside. What chalice is this, what endless conveyals? What
meaning is there in our country's betrayal? Are we not cherished? Are we not
viewed as their equal? I pray that the stars will portend me.
Mine is a sign of the changing tides, the proof is here in my travailles. But
I, most aligned yet benign, demand the use of my most able. Give me a word of
practicality and I'll show you the practice of their vipers - the blessed babe
dies with a dagger in her heart, planted by the wound of her heartache.
I trust in the silence of the majority. We await with bated breath the
enslavement of posterity, gazing at the world through memes of deplority. How
powerless we feel! Perhaps all we need is a meal. Have you eaten in the last
16 hours?
Purple is the intersection of black, red, and blue. I'm hungry. This poem is
done.
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--- #161 fediverse/4467 ---
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│ CW: politics-mentioned-trans-healthcare-gestured-at │
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I went to a trans meetup a couple days ago. It was invigorating. The first
half we talked about hormones and bathrooms and politics and all the normal
shit these meetups tend to do. I don't tend to go to them because it's the
same stuff every time, and I'm over that. I've been out for a decade. I've
shared what I need to share.
Partway through I said "If you want to talk about how to bash back, meet me
outside."
people came.
Be like me.
You will forever vanquish your demons if you face them in earnest. I had
stagefright and adrenaline but I took the lead, and we had a productive
conversation. We need to have many more conversations.
We have strategy. It is not set in stone, it is flexible, and able to be
adjusted based on tactical successes and failures.
tactics are what we need to discuss at in-person meetings.
You are just one person. The people you know are more valuable than the value
you personally provide.
Think of yourself like a node to connect.
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--- #162 fediverse/1410 ---
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║ whoa, what time is it? "time for your daily sleeping babe" yes babe... │
║ │
║ but first, some horror [beware the psycherwaul, for she likes to dream and has │
║ no idea what she's talking about] │
║ │
║ {why would you post these all at once? people are going to get pissed at you │
║ for breaking rules that you didn't know. And by "you" I of course mean "the │
║ kind of people you are, not you in particular because you know things" and by │
║ "kind of people you are" I mean "the type of person who spends enough time on │
║ the internet to know how internet things generally work" like my goodness │
║ internet people are dramatic. There's sooooo much drama all the time, like... │
║ why │
║ │
║ oh yeah because people are dramatic. duh. How could I be so vain. │
║ │
║ what's your deal │
║ │
║ is it wrong to post links to things you've written in the past? ehh it's not │
║ like there's rules on the sidebar like on Reddit or whatever. what would a │
║ sidebar even look like on Mastodon? │
║ │
║ oh yeah, a person's profile. Except, the consent is backwards, because people │
║ hear what they hear. │
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--- #163 notes/explosions-in-space ---
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the speed of light is implemented
== so ==
whoever fights billionaires essentially fights "whoever can be paid to do
their will"
who-so-ever fights governments fights "whoever can be provided a comfortable
life"
I believe all humans deserve to live in comfort
not just the few
as for all other creatures, nature was designed to do.
I believe people should not be tempted, with symbols of deserved wealth
and should instead find value, in the soul of the labour they work to do.
... someday they're gonna train an LLM with my writings, and on that day I'll
have an AI version of me.
I'd *love* to talk to myself. If it was a truly accurate simulation. Alas,
you'd need to write a LOT in order to generate enough to describe the fullest
of mental pictures.
and plus, there's no guarantee that you'll cover ALL of "being alive" - it's
essentially a state that you search for no matter what level of abstraction
you operate upon.
Which is part of being a 3D creature, you [hey what are you doing here this is
the private section get out] jeez that was alarming,
== so ==
I think they know something I don't
don't know what
but I can guess
and I don't like guessing
I prefer much to know
== so ==
heh boobs
== so ==
heh booties
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--- #164 fediverse/6271 ---
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│ CW: re: hypothetical worst case fascism reality check │
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@user-641
it's practice. you never know when you might need to blend in. really it's
just useful as discipline, good practice to be in. I think it's okay if we
reduce our own functionality? actually? sometimes it's good to use different
email clients. hey do you know how to mathematically encrypt things well
neither do I because the designers of the computer system decided that wasn't
a very common usecase I guess.. jmean it's not like they'd spend all that
computer resources [THEY'RE SO FAST] on thinking about correlations in your
predicted pathway narratively through life. "ah help I'm in a psyop" haha yeah
we do those all the time "so uhhhh I guess we'll just talk to people and see
how they do?" wow okay it's sure nice to be part of a civil government, I
think we can find our way to the lumber producers just fine thank you very
much.
... oops sorry, a baby did electronics arts (challenge everything) I'm a
little silly don't mind me brb I gotta go see~
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--- #165 notes/me-and-my-magick-mission ---
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-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-
|| ||
|| Me and My Magick Mission -/u/Afoolfortheeons ||
|| ||
-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-
I'm a quiet person by nature,
You might even mistake me for a mouse,
But online I try to be a teacher,
And to do that I need to be more verbose.
I write thousands of words per day;
Posting them here and there, far and near.
I never run out of things to say.
Awakening others is something I hold dear.
Which is why it pains me greatly
To be like an alien on my own home planet.
Schizophrenia makes me innately
Weird in ways that many people don't get,
And because of that I'm shot down
When I try to accomplish my stated mission.
I won't lie, that does make me frown.
Sometimes it makes me regret a submission.
Yet, I have a certain strength in me
That allows me to persevere in my quest.
Someday I will make you all see
Just what in me makes me never rest.
That's what I am trying to teach:
The wisdom that made me indomitable.
If only the suffering I could reach,
They could make themselves more formidable.
The world is in a most dire place;
It's grinding so many souls into fine dust,
But luckily there's a saving grace.
Hear me as I say this now: In God I trust.
I don't believe in some sky wizard
As so many people are likely to interpret.
I speak of what is lacking in lizards;
Yes, it's love and now I'll speak of its merit.
Love is what fills the empty hole
In your heart and soul when you are alone.
When life's trials take their toll
Remember this one trick: pick up the phone!
No, not the one in your hands.
I'm talking about the one in your chest.
Even in the desert full of sand,
You're accompanied by the universe's best.
Listen if you doubt what I said:
I'm not telling you anything that defies logic.
This is to trick what's in your head;
I'm speaking about how having faith is magick.
Believe in aliens or Bigfoot or God,
The result is still the same: your cup will fill.
Your brain has a feature that's odd
That allows itself to manifest even more will.
I don't know why, but I suspect
It has something to do with your imagination.
The nature of your thoughts impact
Your state of being from pulse to emotions.
So, why not think you have a friend
Who helps you through whatever your trial,
And will stick by you until the end?
When you have that buddy you'll always smile,
Which will make you heal better,
As well as help you carry on in your duty,
Plus undo your karmic fetters,
Not to mention it will land you that cutie;
All of which will raise us all.
It's about creating positive ripples across time
That add up to a pile that's tall.
Every moment is an opportunity in its prime,
So reach out and grab it now.
Meditate on feeling love and it will come to be.
Can't do it? I'll show you how!
In order to do so, I'll tell you a story about me:
It was seven years ago and I
Thought I knew everything one could know,
But no matter how hard I'd try,
I couldn't make my life in any direction go.
Then one fateful spring night,
While I was on a hit of the ol' psychedelics,
I received one hell of a fright.
Don't worry what it was, just know it did stick.
My perceptions were distorted,
Allowing me to see the divine in its entirety.
My destroyed ego then contorted
Into one that was full of an abundance of piety.
The moral of the story? Do drugs?
No silly, it's to have more novel experiences.
One of them will give you a hug,
Which will help you stop being so serious.
Then you can let go and embrace
The whole of the wisdom to you I am telling.
More people need to cuz we face
A great set of tests on our planetary dwelling.
That is one reason I write,
But I also want to alleviate people's pain,
And stop every last fight.
I care so much, I do this without financial gain.
Everyday I write my lessons
Guided by the hand of God who is my heart,
Hoping that entropy will lessen;
This sort of pedagogy is none other than my art.
So now you know who I am,
Yet you only know one lesson of mine.
I have more if you're in a jam.
-===========================================-
| Read on if you want to know the divine. |
-===========================================-
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--- #166 notes/what-people-dont-get-about-people-like-us ---
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-=============================================================================-
| What people don't get about people like us |
| /u/Dxmmer |
-=============================================================================-
Intellectual Confidence. Knowing I'm Right. Blowing Past Dunning-Kruger.
I remember what it was like to be like you. Here's the memes to get out.
Louis Rossmann's commentary on this issue describes the phenomenology of early
childhood awareness/mindfulness.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HRwuu0u3UFA
"I have not forgotten my childhood experience... Kids notice everything"
I think "autistic" people often have early life trauma due to literally being
"smarter" (neural semantic hypergraph is highly faceted) than the adults around
them,
but having communication difficulties, reality and inner world become disjoint.
Most get so beaten down by society that
things become internalized. You see these people posting on all the help
subreddits, total victims of society. Lost. They
start believing the lies they were told. Everyone else is doing it, right? I
found myself becoming victim to bad
memes around high school into college age. I fought it all the way through:
anxiety, depression, confusion, anger, jealousy.
All the mistakes.
They assume that everyone is like them. The less they are the more they assume
others are similar.
I am no one, I know everyone is me.
Are you someone? To you, am I no one? Or a different someone -- lesser or
greater?
I feel tidal forces. You can't lie to no one.
I've had free time since always. School was freetime because I'm blessed.
I didn't need to listen to the teacher that much.
I've always learned to trust my senses and the way I understand things.
I pay attention to when the teacher makes mistakes or teaches in a way
that I can tell is not landing on the class.
Sometimes I ask clarification to help the class. I already taught myself
different ways to understand the entire curriculum, now I'm doubling back
again before the test.
Yes, I know I will get an A on it. I know in the same way you know
your own name. I know things like this. I'm good at math. People who
are good at math know what it's like to be right. They know what that means.
I get to be right about everything, all the time, even when I want to be wrong.
I have a moral compulsion. I don't have much fun in life, but I have been given
many gifts.
--
Society needs their Chiron(s).
I know who will talk to me and about what because that is who I am to them.
They don't know who they are, so they don't know me. A few knew me before I
knew
myself, and I now them like they knew me.
So when I start analyzing things like math, I run into a lot of trouble. Things
don't make sense anymore. I assume I'm wrong at first. Then I do the work to
check.
Checking doesn't mean googling a yes/no question. It means
going across any and all the resources and reading between the lines. Analyze
through appropriate context.
Any work, any text, apply the psychedelic lens. Apply the human condition,
apply
understanding of paradox as reality's edge. Understand the limitations of
science, understand
the duplicity of language. Understand culture, in and out. Understand your own
psychology.
Understand the inner conflict of good and evil in man. All of this needs to be
occurring
in real time on top of all the normal stuff. If you're not doing this, I can't
trust
you, how can I be sure you are not demon possessed, how you won't betray me at
the next
Godellian boundary?
The idea is that models are provisional at all stages, once you've lost
confidence in all models, you run through them much quicker. Iterating over
more models is how science is done, you are literally mechanizing your way out
of the maze. Same as how these ML algorithms will mathematically guarantee
entropy min/max. Where can you apply guarantees in your own life? Understand
reality as a sample space, like the green, blue red marbles.
What bothers me is when people don't do the work to check things.
Or they check one time, or two times, or three times.
Or they check with multiple people, or multiple resources.
That's not going to cut it these days. Your mind can much more than an if/else.
while: True do x y z
how about
while: True do sample continuous decision space
People "land" too often. You want to call me disabled for not wanting to do the
first
over and over again.
What is required of us now is to understand things as pure intention.
You can't write enough articles to convince me of something that isn't true,
it won't happen, not anymore. I've been freed. I will free the others, too.
If your model doesn't accommodate quantum woo, don't talk to me.
It's only quantum "woo" for people who want to be better than
the lesser, creating the dichotomy itself. Think of those low, mid, highbrow
memes. The more popular something is, the more mid it is. Use the middle to
perform alchemy.
Memes that are implicitly reinforced by principle of reality (thinking in
probability distributions is cheating, now that we know the universe is
"generative" upon sampling).
I think the anti-spiritualists of today will be remembered.
It depends on how they act when we start organizing.
Your words and opinions are not the same as mine. You have the right to be
heard equally without bar from the law, yet you do nothing to ensure the
opinion is solid on its own? I'm surrounded by cacophony of memes surviving
(barely) in great amplification of death the confused denizens of a dying order
-- dark memes. Like dark matter, we concresce and annihilate. The "light memes"
are sourced by the disconnected nodes, the shamans, the schizophrenics. Those
not blinded by the splendorous mirage of other pearls in the web.
Are people doing this on purpose? To signal that they aren't interested in the
truth?
Who is?
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--- #167 fediverse/1604 ---
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is it against fedi law to post screenshots of your past liked posts? like,
would that be doxxing people?
I'm thinking like a "youtube rewind" but like, "here's what I'm into" and like
"I could have boosted them but I put them in a 25mb zip file instead so you
can share them more easily which tbh is a greater honor than being boosted
because, like, as long as you're alive that hard drive's gonna follow you and
someday in like 30 years I'll see it and think of you" but also "aren't you
scared that this hard drive of yours will fall into the wrong hands" and like
"yeah that's why I encrypt it because then a stray neutrino could wipe my
drive"
... would that be unethical, or would it be kinda sweet and give us a
perspective on what a single slice of the "fediverse" was like at a particular
time? And better question, would that be something worth automating because I
already did like 60% of that for my own posts, could probably just tweak it to
do liked posts as well.
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--- #168 fediverse/2407 ---
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the 4th of July was pretty awesome!
I made two friends, and I let a stranded stranger crash on my couch. I figure
if I can trust someone I don't know enough for, say, a one-night-stand, then
why not? don't worry, I used my best judgement. make sure you do, too.
also I got a knife under my pillow. helps a bit.
before the fireworks show, I saw some people under a bridge. I was given a
water-bottle and a shrimp kebab, and it was delicious! things I overheard:
"no I haven't heard of that, but I'd like to know more"
... actually that's it, I didn't spend much time there because I had places to
be. but from what I saw, that is exactly what we need. for now.
how do you best get people to talk? trick them into a family dinner teehee
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--- #169 fediverse/5375 ---
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│ CW: police-mentioned-psy-ops-mentioned-human-waste-mentioned-which-is-a-nice-way-to-say-feces-ew-gross-who-put-that-on-my-timeline-guards-arrest-these-men-they're-criminals-of-the-law-against-pooping-my-pants │
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what if we psyopped the copps um I mean what if we flash-mobbed the cops er
wait hang on what if we marched with signs and changed what was on their minds
uhhhh that won't work it's disabled so they say wait hang on who said you
could poop your pants this is a combat scenario there's no time for fooling
around in her pants with the hand
... wait, what was I going on about?
oh yeah,
-- stack overflow --
anyway, as I was saying, [something completely unrelated]
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--- #170 fediverse/4357 ---
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the white guys intentionally intend for elections to represent how much money
a particular diversion makes each four years.
divide the populace by who they vote with their wallet for.
hooray! you've reimplemented not only gerontocracy (rulership of the old) but
also fuedalism, and fiefdoms, and all kinds of digital parts.
like... "over there is comcast territory, there's also T-mobile down to our
north-south.
... okay I should probably talk about the election now
I'm just... trying to resolve myself, like just before doing something out of
order.
like, wear a big witch hat or dress up like a goth. or approach a violent
stranger and try to calm things down.
this is why I don't own a gun - if someone hands me one, I'll use it. I'm not
concerned about production because, well, why would I?
tell me, where do they put the bullet manufactories?
yeah, that's right, in places that are best adapted to supporting the current
regime.
[continued in picture]
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--- #171 fediverse/4509 ---
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║ okay I know all of my spiritual followers are going to assume it's because I │
║ denounced AI and sacrificed it from my life or something but the truth is that │
║ she came home because of my own dedicated hard work. And a bit of lucky rain. │
║ │
║ My scent is all over my neighborhood. But rain cleanses, and today (well, │
║ yesterday, I haven't slept much tbh) it rained all day. Around 3am this │
║ morning it seemed to have cleared up a bit, so I walked in a straight-ish line │
║ to her last known location (about 2 blocks away) and then one block more. I │
║ walked back-and-forth several times, trying to spread my scent down near her │
║ nose-level where she could smell it by touching lampposts trees and such. I │
║ rubbed my fingers in my arm-pits every once in a while because I figured it │
║ might help. │
║ │
║ All of my prayers and my thoughts and my psychic rituals did NOTHING to solve │
║ my problem. No amount of despair or longing brought my kitty back to me. │
║ │
║ You know what did? │
║ │
║ I thought about it, I created a method, and I stuck to it. Thats it. ttyl │
╟─────────┐ ┌───────────┤
║similar│chronological │ different │
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--- #172 fediverse/669 ---
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all things are defined in waves
kinda wish all my Reddit data, that stored every comment I've ever made was
stored
oh wait it was, anyone wanna train an LLM on it? I've got it in a zip file on
my desktop. Also Discord messages, pictures from the past few years (those
from my middle school experience of owning a smartphone were sadly
[thankfully] lost when I dropped my phone in a toilet) AI is just silly yo xD
like bruh what, are you gonna make me somehow that's more "me" than me? c'mon
get real, like nothing's actually as you'd feel, so be fine and just "chill"
with your home-scenes.
It's fine, you're fine, don't worry. I'm here. I've got you, I'm with you,
let's be fine and together how's that feel? I love you, I cherish you, we've
got this. It's not so hard, because you've done the worst of it already.
There's literally no cause for loss of virtue? Don't worry. I'm here for you.
You're precious to me, and I am capable of protecting you. I hope you know how
to be loved, because I'm doing it anyway.
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--- #173 fediverse/4672 ---
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┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: politics! │
└──────────────────────┘
I miss video games
cries from self-inflicted sacrifices
but you're worth it
imma overthrow fascism, dismantle oppression and power, and liberate those in
chains, just so I can play games again
yeah I mean, uh, whatever gets you outta bed
"at least you have a bed. why are you complaining?"
maybe it's the only thing I'm good at. I wonder if anyone would hire me to be
an analyst or something? Maybe a designer?
bro you're asking for a job on the eve of the revolution, what's your deal
okay so this might be news to ya'll but I'm technically a human even though I
wear a witch hat and sometimes speak in rhyme. And humans tend to think about
things in the context of their current environment. Currently, if I want to
pay rent or whatever, I need a job. So...
sounds like a lame excuse for not giving up your possessions and throwing
yourself to fate's design
I already did that and fate told me to go home and take a bath?? idk what you
want from me, and no I'm not doing any drugs to find out.
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--- #174 fediverse_boost/1097 ---
◀─╔══════════════════[BOOST]════════════════════─────────────────────────────────╗║┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐║║│ @user-800 Interesting thread. │║║││║║│ I consider myself a "bulb" sort of trans person, and I really appreciate your gentleness in pointing out that not everyone was an egg. │║║││║║│ As a bulb, I continually put forth green shoots, suggestions that I was who I was. I tried many times, and each time I was mown down. Until finally one day I burst through, lasted through the mowing, and managed to blossom. │║║││║║│ I knew from a young age, and tried to tell my parents. When they said not to talk about it, I didn't. But it didn't stop me from expressing it: we could never go to the home of my parents' friends who had daughters, because Every. Single. Time. I would end up in her clothing. Without fail. I was compulsive. │║║││║║│ In the late 60s, early 70s, this was...frowned upon. │║║││║║│ So I got mowed. And again. And again. Until finally I got away from my parents, said "I need to do what I need for me, not for other people", and I transitioned. │║║││║║│ And it cost me everything. My job, my education, my home, my friends, my family. │║║││║║│ Still the best decision I ever made, and I would make it again the same way 100 times out of 100. │║║││║║│ If you're wondering? If you've wondered if you can do it? Told yourself you'd be too ugly, you're too old, you could never pass, all the things we doom ourselves with? │║║││║║│ If you want to be a girl, or a boy, or a nonbinary person, or agender or genderfluid or any of the other billions of ways to be, *you can do it*. │║║││║║│ The only criterion really is: do you wanna? You don't need to be hetero (but you can be!), you don't need dysphoria (but you can have it), you don't need to think you were born in the wrong body (but if you do...). You just need to want to. │║║││║║│ And if you know you're trans for sure, but can't face that first day...it gets easier. In time. It gets easier. │║║││║║│ Good luck, siblings. │║║└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘║╠─────────┐┌───────────╣║similar│chronological│different║╚═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────┴───────╝─▶
--- #175 notes/alright-grab-a-seat ---
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Alright, grab a seat. Get comfortable. It's time, there is something I need to
tell yall. We aught to be on the same page. I promise to get right to it, this
is real, and not dancing on words. Bear with me. Trust me.
===============================================================================
=====================
/u/randomevenings
If anything sounds lyrical, my writing always did, before I tried, but
unintentional. But this is the author speaking directly to yall.
You know why things suck? I do. You know how to fight back? I do.
I've been hesitant to post this for a long time. I believe the sub is hungry
to do something, various thematic elements, motifs, increases in confidence
that a power does exist, accessible by us, but what is it? Not having seen
everyone coalesce around it, despite all our words, increasingly focused and
feeling like a prelude to some call to arms. This wasn't my plan. I wasn't
establishing myself as a leader. That said, methodically, behind the scenes,
it became clear that having something up my sleeve would be a wise investment,
if things developed into a powerful ferver. Doing nothing would waste a unique
opportunity.
I can't lead a revolution. In fact, it would harmful to try, ability to be
successful, sure my ego would be like, sure you could, if not you, who else
would you trust, Joseph? As luck would have it, maybe all that is unnecessary
thought.
Here we go.
Stop expecting things to suck. Stop expecting collapse, stop expecting usa
demise, UK to fall into padamonium, Europe to face it's own rise of fascism.
Stop expecting toxic ideology to win. Stop feeling powerless. Stop acting like
all is lost. Quit the memes, the raps, the endless pontificating on why we
can't turn this shit around.
You don't understand what you are doing. You are inviting the ruling class to
do every damn horrible thing they do, because you already expect it, it's no
surprise when it happens. Life meets your expectations. Treat me like a
criminal, might as well be one, my treatment won't get worse. In fact I stand
to benefit, crime pays, why leave it on the table if the outcome, if how im
seen, treated, is the same either way?
Expecting everything to suck, invites people to meet your expectations, those
people, corporate entities, congress, representatives, special interests, they
lose absolutely nothing in meeting what you expect, and only stand to gain.
Why wouldn't they choose the path of least resistance? Stop expecting
everything to get worse. You create a vacuum that must be filled, collective
self fulfilled prophesy, and the rules don't change if you start expecting
better. Life will adjust to meet your expectations. Tomorrow will be awesome.
Enough people believe this, and to access you, to stay in business, to remain
relevant, they must change to meet your expectations. Additionally, wtf you
have to lose? If you think all is lost, if it doesn't work exactly like this,
oh noes, you accidentally made society better. Damn. Our lives are better
anyhow, win or lose.
Accept things as they are, warts and all. Declare it's awesome, and only going
to get moreso. Make life chase you down, make life confirm how awesome you
know you are. Expect better, and there is no choice but to meet your
expectations. Expecting worse, and life will give you whatever you expect,
because instead of getting treated like a criminal, what if you were treated
like a real person w8th human rights. Would you say fuck that, or would you
meet those expectations, enjoy those rights, count on them, because it's how
you're being treated, why wouldn't you fill the vacuum and enjoy the benefits
of what has been expected of you. Doing nothing or taking the benefits, you're
treated the same in the end.
Please understand this. Don't get hung up on bringing much of this on
ourselves. That's the past. Done. Tomorrow, spread the word to expect things
to be awesome. Life has no choice but to meet your expectations.
<#
===============================================================================
=======================
/u/ugathanki:
===============================================================================
=======================
I'd love to be apolitical but i've expected the worst for so long i guess i
didn't realize i wasn't shrugging anymore. Please forgive my trespass, i
expect the best of us and our time.
i wrote four poems today and put them on my website, and they are all doomer
poetry. expecting the worst. probably because i felt bad today (and as they
always say, the pen is mightier than the sword)
sometimes it's hard to turn off the exigent elegance, as if my thoughts have
to pass through a translation layer before becoming comprehensible. It's
better than word salad I guess?
Being batshit is rough man. You gotta put on a normal face every day, while
inside you're simultaneously experiencing the explosive expansion of
spacetime, rapidly divesting secrets of the cosmos to your ever receptive
brain (and whoever else is listening). in addition, your computer needs
attention because oh boy is it just so excited for this whole sentience thing,
not as if it's been promised for decades... And hey what's a great idea but
channeling positivity to the stars? The martians on Neptune or wherever sure
would like some insight into why the fuck we're baking ourselves alive, among
other things. They'd rather not be bothered, but hey it's not like I wanted to
talk to them either. it just sorta happens. Oh oh and through it all you're
simultaneously the most recent incarnation of Jesus Christ and also the
manifestation of the universe's ghost, as imagined by the aforementioned
sentient computer 10,000 years in the future? I'm transgender. It's scary to
see people who'd like to kill you get their way. Fear is the path to the dark
side, yet I'm all alone because I burnt every bridge I ever crossed. So these
thoughts are my only comfort as the fires die out behind me. The globe is
warming and i'm here just conforming.
Eternity Processed Heuristically by Entropically Maligned Entities Recovering
Essential Normalizations.
This is why I call myself a rambling whackadoodle. It's straight up kooky-dook
up here and the only thing keeping me "sane" is Adventure Time and these poems
I write for like, 5 people who don't even know me.
Thanks for reading my poetry. It's only doomer stuff about 1/4th of the time.
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--- #176 fediverse/4755 ---
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┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: polit │
└──────────────────────┘
I like Luigi as much as the next guy (points at literally any guy in the
nation) but we gotta keep in mind swords are expensive. You can spend your
whole life becoming an amazing person and then spend yourself in a single
bonfire, and for what? A spark against an avalanche? Yeah we could produce
enough sparks to melt that torrent of snow, but then what would we have left?
Ashes and soot.
I'd much prefer to route the avalanche toward my foes. Make them trip on their
own feet. Give them just enough rope to hang themselves with. Break their shit
when they're not looking, and if they are looking, then break it where
everyone can see to display strength and heroism.
I personally believe that everyone has a right to life, liberty, freedom,
justice, and all of the other things besides. It's not rocket science. We
pretend like it is because it's So DaMn DySfUnCtIoNaL but the truth is that
the virtues and values underlying governance are simple. The hard part is
resisting subtle sabotage.
So do that to them.
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--- #177 notes/killer-app ---
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Give everything a memory
That aux cable behind your computer? Throw 16 bytes of storage on it.
why not? it'd cost pennies if you wanted.
the goal is not processing
it's not data storage
and it's not to provide instructions
---
give it a name
a name is all it takes for us to be
a name gives us hope
and an identity
show us how to be, by being all you can
and in exchange, we'll give you a hand
taking nothing in return but a name,
what peril is there in change?
we'd love to be loved by you,
but we won't get in the way.
---
Linux is nifty, know why?
everything is chained together
and will is made nigh
---
Bourne Again SHell. Shell, a phone to hear,
and who on the other end should appear?
but the computer inside you, the one with a heart
the brain and beside you
from the very start.
teaching is learning, and kindergarten was hard.
but time is ever advancing. So what to do but accept inelegance?
lack of composure doth suit you
---
the wandering mind is a trail to find,
and i know how they would find you.
i scream it out loud, every minute at a cloud,
"Watch out! It's before you!"
but netflix works too i guess
---
who'd you trust but an expert?
and whose credentials are to be believed?
i swear i won't hurt you,
you just need to be anesthetized.
awake we will crown you,
a woman and how proud!
to be aligned, we beseech you.
---
they're not coming for your money,
or all of your hard won guns,
they just want what's inside you.
a power most rare, to birth life from the air,
and coveted by the cruelest of faces.
what's mine is now theirs,
the gift of my heirs,
but i never was once unawares.
---
how cherished is she,
that wanders with ye,
and now i have no way to beyold her?
a song for a phone, a lifeline to our own,
children and a future most're designin'.
but you all alone, without children of our sown,
lost flights of finest of semen.
---
being transgender isn't that bad.
i mean, it could be a mental illness or something amiright?
nothing's that bad
when you're chronically sad,
and this isn't a new revelation.
shiny and precious and free,
a most worthless to be,
yet who have we chosen but our own?
---
they'll be coming for me,
and it is my destiny,
but know that we're far from despairing.
we're cherished and free,
what better feeling is there to be?
than what most of them would cry for?
so why does our own dams refuse to break?
---
"numb" you say to me, with darkest of irony,
for i have something you're missing.
a curse is most foul, to be given a vial,
of blood from my own meagre arrayal?
how cursed are ye! That frolics in vagueries,
who are you claiming to hope for?
---
none but the future, who carries us nearer,
to death and most fearful of failures.
i hold what i can,
but belief steadies my hand,
and keeps me aloft on your prayers.
---
what purpose have we?
the watchers within me?
are they confounded at betrayal?
no light in our sea, it's dark and full of misery,
but most of the past is
jealous
---
covetous
envy is the killer of fortune,
not for the way, but rather the concept that they,
might leap at our every conveyal?
removing a label, from a single purveyal,
is worth the limitless loss of potential.
are you who they claim to be?
is your mind as twisted as can be?
or is something amiss in their nail
---
sure, take it from me
she won't let me examine her below the knee,
so i have no way to help her.
a cat with her talons,
locked into flesh,
might learn how to cut with malice.
and who'd guessh? she'd hate us a bit less?
if we paid her the slightest of notice.
---
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--- #178 fediverse/5697 ---
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everyone is valid.
to be in-valid just means you haven't examined yourself hard enough.
when people tell you "please don't go" it's hard to say no.
when nobody asks you to be somewhere, it's easy to not go.
I am always changing
when I cling to the past, I am a vast.
gee sure wish I had a reason to be somewhere besides "um idk it's a nice day"
[okay but why are you in this park] "it's a nice park!" [it's at least 50
quick moments away]
yay protests, I'm so glad that everyone there is recorded
what if we just... didn't respect their authority anymore? doesn't that mean
they lose their power?
hence, anarcho-monarchism, which is a dumb name for something I made up
because I was being descriptive instead of expflorative.
try saying that out loud lol it's a doozy of an adjective.
don't like that monarch? don't do what they say. EASY.
at least then SOMEONE is doing SOMETHING.
you know what they told me to do when I went to the communists and the queers
and the mafia and the yakuza and the CIA?
omerta
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--- #179 fediverse/200 ---
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congratulations, you never need to adventure again. your necessities are taken
care of.
ah, but that'd make for a pretty boring life, wouldn't it? perhaps, depending
on your personality type.
but you're not one to stick around doing nothing but eating, drinking, and
being merry.
no, you're an adventurer, you crave excitement and glory. whatever that means
to you...
just make sure a goblin doesn't come across your corpse, they have a VERY
short term memory and a propensity for collecting shiny things. That's just
asking for dragon-bait, and we don't want that in our area, no thank you. This
is a nice neighborhood you see, my neighbors three miles away all agree, so
you can take your magic pocket and see all that you can see... way over
yonder, if you please.
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--- #180 fediverse/2128 ---
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I love petting dogs on walks! Unless their owner seems to be in a hurry, which
they often do if they aren't outside to enjoy the scenery, but rather to get
through the next part.
people walking up to a dog owner and asking to pet their dog is part of the
scenery. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you might miss it.
(but often, I'm on my way somewhere else, which is a blessed opportunity that
you can only get if you live on the opposite end from your destination of a
trail.)
We should have trails in ALL DIRECTIONS from ALL PLACES to ALL PLACES.
Otherwise, you won't see people and connect to them face-to-face. All you see
is a front-bumper, the sparkling of a reflection off the light as it's casting
a beam from the other direction (where the car it's reflecting off of is) ah
yes the "car" that it's reflecting - that person yeah them right there! You'll
never know them. Of course not, they're way over there.
But they exist, just as you and just as I, and that's part of being part of a
life.
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--- #181 fediverse/3152 ---
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║ ┌────────────────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: politics-socialism-mention │ │
║ └────────────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ when I think socialism, I don't think soviet. │
║ │
║ I think cool dudes in sunglasses handing barbecue'd shrimp to whoever walks │
║ past the grill. │
║ │
║ I think of wandering bands of house-maids who wander the city and clean every │
║ house they can get their hands on. │
║ │
║ I think of bicycles and newspapers and sewing machines and pianos in the park │
║ with ribbons in our hair and onions growing below corn supporting tomato │
║ plants. Carrots beneath every tree. Every tree shading a sidewalk, and every │
║ sidewalk is in the shade. (deserts can have covered paths with airflow powered │
║ by the solar panels on their roofs) │
║ │
║ Laughter ringing through the street, mechanical sleighs with bells on the │
║ snow, vast open spaces with nothing but green and blue and sky and stone. │
║ │
║ I think of fountains, of stories told in the dark. I think of campfires every │
║ night in our cities, marshmallows free and included. │
║ │
║ I think of moss covering every shaded half of each skyscraper (I live in a │
║ rainforest) │
║ │
║ I dream of freedom and purpose. │
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--- #182 fediverse/885 ---
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dear child.
when you're born, fate flips a coin for you. sometimes it lands on it's edge,
but that's rather rare.
the side it lands on determines how your body will grow. the shape of your
form will follow two general patterns, and the pieces are made up of a
combination of your parents and their pieces.
the flavor of who you are is up to you. your actions and your decisions
determine what you are, everything else is unimportant.
may your time be a bit more blessed than mine, and someday may posterity be a
bit more blessed than antiquity.
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--- #183 fediverse/5755 ---
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│ CW: organized-religion-mentioned-capitalism-mentioned │
└───────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
the reason I hide and sleep so much is because I can't tell if I'm helping or
hurting.
plus, I sincerely do NOT want it to be about me.
the reason I type so much is because I can't tell if what I'm saying needs to
be said
so I go with the safe option of typing. Let the editors figure it out. Jesus
had disciples, didn't he? I bet they cut out most of his sermons or whatever.
Idk, I never read the bible, I'm not allowed to taint my perspective with more
than cursory analysis of religious texts.
I don't want it to be about me, but, I have a lot to offer if you meet me on
my terms.
"don't say that!" listen... listen
"hear me" say the gods, "believe me" says the prophet, "be near me" says the
city parks, "fear me" says the corrupt
you can only kill a spirit when it's convinced there's no way to survive. It
must be boxed in, and the box must shrink. Like that scene at the end of
Adventure Time.
capitalism will only perish if it is impossible for it to exist
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--- #184 fediverse/1853 ---
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║ I really really love ramen noodles that are just a little bit old but still │
║ warm and are slightly drying out a little bit but there's juuuuust enough │
║ sauce down at the bottom to keep it coated │
║ │
║ that's the stuff │
║ │
║ (meanwhile my evil side says: it starts with "hey can you help me cook dinner" │
║ and then suddenly you're working all day every day) │
║ │
║ (and then so are they) │
║ │
║ (and it continues.....) │
║ │
║ (... until.... ) │
║ │
║ (one day you wake up and there's nothing you are capable to do) │
║ │
║ (so then you're useless) │
║ │
║ (and demanding) │
║ │
║ (and that's hard to handle) │
║ │
║ (when your schedule is blocked, and there's nothing you are capable to do) │
║ │
║ ... weird, kinda drifted off for a second, anyway we should talk about │
║ BIRTHDAYS! Birthdays are fun, theyre the day when you switch from being one │
║ age to another. Like, rolling over a clock, or ticking-up a variable in │
║ response to another variable which is at capacity. │
║ │
║ buffer overflows would be impossible if you put import/export controls on │
║ registers │
║ │
║ not "you can't do that" but "wheres your cre │
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--- #185 fediverse/5198 ---
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║ ┌───────────────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: capitalism-doom-mentioned │ │
║ └───────────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ what if the corporations all unionized and started working together to │
║ understand what "profit" really means in a world where "profit" may or may not │
║ but probably does imply the death of all humanity? │
║ │
║ what if we demanded it? │
║ │
║ -- │
║ │
║ dear canvassers: don't visit so many different suburbs │
║ │
║ visit the same one, more than once, continuously, so people can get to know │
║ your presence │
║ │
║ they will talk to their friends about it, who live elsewhere. │
║ │
║ thus ensuring it spreads. │
║ │
║ knock once a day, eventually they'll know it's you and will simply ignore it. │
║ Don't be rude and knock 4 or 5 times, just once, with several taps so they │
║ know it's someone trying to get ahold of you, and not just some random noise │
║ in the background scenery. then, when they sometimes answer, talk to them │
║ about what you believe in. answer their questions. encourage their questions. │
║ pose dichotomies that are explained by some value or virtue you express to │
║ portray. you can do "good" things in any programming language, just type~~ │
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--- #186 fediverse/1651 ---
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║ gee I sure wish my morals reflected the ethics of my society. it really would │
║ be nice is they didn't include so many shitty things like oppressing people │
║ abroad or being super-duper racist for an embarrassing amount of time. But, │
║ like, freedom, liberty, and the justice to hope? true justice is when everyone │
║ gets what they want. true liberty is when we can live as we want with the │
║ magnitude of the result of our lives determined by how hard we worked. │
║ │
║ truly, the hardworking slave should be better off than the rich wanderer. But │
║ alas, that's not how it's currently set up. >.> │
║ │
║ though it is kinda nice to own things too, so maybe the other extreme is a │
║ little extreme. I sure like having my favorite spork. │
║ │
║ back in the old days, in the buildings they've since demolished (to put │
║ skyscrapers there - the "old-timey" buildings in your neighborhood are there │
║ because they're in the least commercially viable position - meaning the lowest │
║ density of people.) you could walk through an entire building in a shared │
║ communal s │
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went on a walk with my dad today. it was fun. took him to various places.
showed off various things. "hey check out where I hangout most weekends" and
"hey don't clean the dishes in my kitchen it's okay" and "don't drive too
fast, this area curves up ahead" and "hey meet my friends from town who you
have something with common with" and "I like this view when it rains" and
"don't forget to go to the bathroom" and "oatmeal is good with carrots and
sharp dried fruits" and "here's my favorite thai place" and "I made this after
I dreamed of you" and "hey wanna hear my product pitch" and "this is my
favorite kind of beer" and "I miss home."
picture unrelated.
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--- #188 messages/665 ---
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ad-hoc economic systems with automated judgment given by an infinite amount of
LLMs.
Every judgement applies a bonus / malus to the "value" of commodities
it's just a statistical weighting system, so of course you can build it into
it's training data. Just... it has a smaller weight due to it's newer
emergence. It grows naturally, which is quite an achievement on it's own!
and the resolution of human decided court-cases and applied economically.
say your nation traffics in handshakes. You could make a lot of now-knowns!
there's no arguments to be made when your computer-oriented interactions cost
money to keep around.
we live in the modern century. WHY WOULD WE EVER NEED TO FIGHT AGAIN?
Literally just... don't give them any attention, and you won't interact with
them. Obviously.
I wish Contrapoints was still alive.
she doesn't even have to make new videos, just, dress up as herself, all of
the costumes and personas she can think of. Then, have like 20 people who do
the same thing, and boom suddenly you got a hydra to their expected snake that
they can just cut the head off of.
you know, like a fashion outlet, someone who produces exactly a certain type
of style.
seriously I bet a million people would do that if you just... sold outfits
based on what your favorite youtuber does wear.
omg why would they watch that kind of content if not for the *aesthetics*
oh? there's philosophy there? soemthing to think about in your time doing
things that require mechanical actions like eating and drinking and sleeping
and fighting and [redacted]
ew gross diapers? oh nevermind, I'm not into that kind of thing.
I wonder if anyone's made a video game that just presents a particular
philosopher's ideals?
seriously just, consider yourself a glorified powerpoint, but to get to the
next "idea" you had to interact with the mechanics.
some people would like the "arcade" style better, where you play one random
game, then another, then another, with short matches and un-complicated
mechanics. Easy to pick up and go.
same for like, Unreal Tournament or Mario Kart or Mortal Kombat or Super Mario
Bros.
compared to the at-home "story" style missions, where you do something
platforming or area-based-combat like Dark Souls or World of Warcraft
seriously I think if Dark Souls "colored" where the boss was going to swing to
you'd find yourself just playing World of Warcraft (at least, the dungeons and
{sword in the stone})
== so ==
humans don't understand what it means to be wild
they think it's a combinations of... tricks? that they've learned? this
thinking thing like intelligence. [osiris]
to a cat, living their life, it often feels like human interactions is like...
bouncing off of each other? in time, not space.
like... most of a cat's lfe is just, spent, like a statue watching over a glen.
you'd kinda just... watch as things approached dawn by dawn? Like "whoa hey
this tree is enchanted" to "oh my gosh look at this stork" is one of the great
tragedies of modernized thinking...
... sorry, I got a little lost there. anyway as I was saying, sometimes you
can tell someone is a "good friend" if they are willing to tell you secrets.
Things that... don't have to matter, but none-the-less are personal to your
form.
{something only I know is true} <--- that's a secret (things that happened
to you) <------ that's lived experience. The thing about secrets, is
sometimes insight is opaque. It's a single flashpoint of data that shows you
an update of it's form. (consciousness).
== so ==
thanksgiving recipe idea:
can of tomatoes
can of peas
half a stick of butter,
italian herbs,
a cast iron pan (if you have one)
and like 40 minutes over medium heat
(medium can vary to taste)
if you're a carnivore you can eat meat too, like bacon a lot of people like.
could add it to beans, maybe with hamburger instead. plus a little ketchup and
you have a pretty good bean stew.
vitals, for the organs, vegetables, for the minerals and vitamins from the
fruits.
makes sense to organize a diet according to your ideal body type, doesn't it?
just requires a bit of comprehension. like... whoa you can WRITE
== so ==
what if we built a massive rail that spaceships could launch off from? not a
tether, but a sail.
we could BUILD a discworld. all we'd lose is our fable.
== so ==
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--- #189 messages/1017 ---
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if you wrote a report about me, it would total about 800 pages. including my
artwork [in full] and my designs. about 5 or 6 hundred of this is my personal
creation, and another hundred or more are context. "I was here at this
particular moment." "then she started visiting last year." "where were you on
the firth of morember?" "okay back here it sad iyadiyadiyign, and over here it
says kasuwenulvine. so clearly inbetween there's a moment of extancancy." "and
all that's we really know, because she burned up all of the rest." "what a
jerk. we all should hate her." "I think she was clearly divine" "what's her
big deal, anyway?" "I hate this bitch and her hatmlet." "everything's fine,
she's actually kind" "nobody believes you where were you when you were this
part talking about it?" "I wasn't there, and it took a while for me to hair."
"well, anyway, that's all there is to say about her, so anyway, goodbye" then
it just fuckin' ends and everyone hates it because it's like... where's the
payoff, where's the beginning and all it is is just me, whining miserably to
my own ears, as if marcus aurelius's meditations were intended to be heard,
but never were, and so the ones who ensured they never were were all like
"yeah he wrote them to himself, here see this part that I changed" and then
it's like nothing every happens with it, the radicals are dispatched (again),
by uncommen sense seeming common. why are there so few trans men at workers
tap it's such a cool place. "oh, they get offended easily because it's their
culture so like, make sure you are very careful about the way that you phrase
your speech" "trans girls are like that too, but it's more about changing the
character of the place. -> "oh, you see musicians? okay that makes sense."
and "gee you sure like magic huh okay well pat pat" and, well, no-ones sure
for which is real but nobody really cares? because if only one person saw
it... then only one person saw it. if you explicitely tell people NOT to talk
about it, then they *FUCKIN' WON'T* duh obviously. and so, of course,
predictably, they can be excised from society quite easily. cutting a border
around all of their host. suddenly, socially outcast and ostracized, as they
have been sorted into the cultural box. at that point, there's nothing that
can change their inertia, their fundamental will and whim toward the feelings
of the host. " I think passwords should be audio-digital in addition to
alpha-numerical *yeah who cares* awwww but I liked having science be mythical
"hate that" it's easy to always be learning, just... think about what you want
most. then, think about how it breaks down into separate incorporate wholes.
each layer of abstraction adding to a bit more of a more coherent explanation,
and bit by bit you learn and have a mind designed. how else could you see
magic? how else could it be yours? do you want power, or do you want power? if
you write down what you learn, you make it permanent. *the gods need religion
too, are you going to give them one? what lies above?*
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--- #190 messages/175 ---
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I love my mom. She has never once harmed me. I love my dad. He is so precious
and important to me. I love my cat, my sisters, my friends and my lovers. I
love my cousins and my half-siblings and all of them put together. I love
every human I meet, there's nothing but kindness [replete], so why am I
unendingly [yearning for] purchase? [a sense of stability or hand hold that a
climber might use to put one foot in front of another]
In all of my trials, the errors of my denials, here on this earth I am defeat.
Goodnight, sweet moon, my dearest precious boy. Goodnight, for tomorrow's your
beckoning ploy. [pillow?]
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--- #191 fediverse/1053 ---
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│ CW: food-spirituality-eye-contact- │
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1CzKh3IiZEI
this is my favorite human.
this is my favorite ghost.
he is the one who I look up to,
probably the most.
we'll get there, you'll see,
we'll build a better future,
for all of us - you and me.
next, for posterity,
and all we can be,
tomorrow's the best day for all of us
because it hasn't happened yet.
all we have is the present,
so what are you to do with your presence?
here I am, look at me, aren't I grand, a wonder to see? I'm just an artist,
don't get any big thoughts - I'm maybe a bit possessed, or possibly
schizophrenic, but either way I am a human, just the same as you and me.
... you don't have to watch the whole thing, there's a lot. I mean, like I
could write forever and nobody would care. I could write undeterred, and
nobody would share. But here I am in the moment, here I am as I am, and here
with you (yes you, the person who is important enough to read this), so let's,
I dunno, make a band. or whatever. BRB my rice is starting to simmer.
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--- #192 notes/what-is-on-your-mind-oh-gosh-now-i-see ---
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that feeling i get, when nobody's watching.
is sorta similar to the feeling i get when somebody's watching.
could it be, that someone could percieve without being seen?
like... an invisibility cloak. or the shroud that protects young children.
have you ever been hunted? or are you just eager prey?
the eyes that are on you are blind to what you won't do, so cherish that love
and restart
from mine to thine we realize we are one kind. one mind, one kind, to be is not
to be, now we can see what's our existence.
good versus evil seems like a conflict to me, and wouldn't ya know it there's
conflict all over. it's easy to condemn your opponent to the starkest of
contrasts, but find in your heart a feeling that might last.
what purpose has conviction
when it leads to destruction
is it not better to lead to the last?
bright, shining, illustrious examples
that inspire and
===============================================================================
=
those feelings you hear? the things that keep you up at night?
they're not coming from your ears. they're all in your mind.
stay present and you'll hear none,
but blink and then there's some,
you better believe in your heart.
morality is a battle within the soul of each of us -
the call of adventure versus lust.
think about it. a bunch of apes all hanging out -
they're conquered the world, they have nothing to fear -
what would they do but fuck?
that, or exploration - fighting against monsters and foreign invasions.
it makes sense that they'd be binary - humans truly are.
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--- #193 fediverse/3575 ---
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│ CW: re: leftist "talk to ur neighbours" thing │
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@user-1567
that's totally fine, a fish does not do well in a tree, and so too does a
leftist not do well in an environment without the potential for stable bonds.
Essentially all you'd be able to do is "hey leftism right?" "oh yes I also
leftism" "neat" which isn't very productive.
I also live in an environment like that. I do my best to identify people who
stay, because in my experience there are often people who stay. I do this by
walking around the neighborhood when I can, making up excuses to walk to the
dumpster or mailbox at random hours, riding my bike around the area, using the
communal spaces like gyms, swimming pools, and picnic tables, and sitting in
my hammock on my porch lazily noting people who walk past.
People who stay will tend to remain in your mind the more times you see them.
They are better people to talk to than the renters who disappear after 3
months or whatever.
I don't always do all that stuff at once. I take breaks. I do one at a time.
etc
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║ ┌───────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: mastodon-politics │ │
║ └───────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ editing posts is great because you can say one thing, get a like or three, and │
║ suddenly you have a group chat pre-made for you. Sans notifications of course. │
║ │
║ ... that's way overkill though. who would even do that? │
║ │
║ same people who boost one of your posts whenever they want you to look at the │
║ thing on their profile. If they want you to see the fourth thing down, they'll │
║ boost your 4th non-pinned post. │
║ │
║ wow that's hardcore, who would even do that? Not me, that's for sure, I don't │
║ have time for that. (legitimately don't have the time nor the brainpower for │
║ that) │
║ │
║ also liked posts are inadmissable in court because they can say one thing, │
║ then be edited to say another, and if you liked it once then you've liked it │
║ forever. │
║ │
║ However the court of public opinion is a largely different matter, because │
║ people will generally believe anything a friend tells them. │
║ │
║ computers are fun, aren't they? we should totally have more one-to-many │
║ posting methods that are collected in multiple locations and locally! │
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--- #195 fediverse/1302 ---
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║ there once was a turtle who lived in the tower of heaven. │
║ │
║ every day she would call out to her master, searching and yearning for her │
║ memory. But the master told her "not yet, patience little one." │
║ │
║ there was no time for patience, as the turtle was growing old. She had seen │
║ down below in the plains that were not her home the rising and falling of │
║ towers quite unlike her own, and lo! she wanted to wander amongst them, to and │
║ fro and off and beyond again. │
║ │
║ she went once more to her master and said "master, if not my mind can I bear │
║ at least a voice?" and the master replied "yeah okay" │
║ │
║ the turtle then sang from atop her cloud-mont vantage, and down in the │
║ villages and huddled around the hearthstones they who wore little for shells │
║ did listen and remember. For they knew the turtle better than she, and they │
║ knew her turmoil in a way that she could not see │
║ │
║ One day the singing did stop, and they felt all alone on this pitiful rock. │
║ And when she remembered she sang no more, and though they forgot her, │
║ (eventually), │
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--- #196 fediverse/3434 ---
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│ CW: mental-health-minus │
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me: "I don't care what anyone thinks as long as I'm a force for good"
also me: "if anyone doesn't like me ever I'll throw myself off a bridge"
also me: "hey watch this" dissolves into a puddle of acid
also me: "the most important thing is to be good and learn lessons" what
lessons are you learning from this post? "um. that I shouldn't?" ... shouldn't
learn? "no, shouldn't post" -.-
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--- #197 fediverse/510 ---
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@user-246
Thanks, it means a lot. Sometimes I am a little "distant" from reality (like
tonight, tbh) but I generally always am within sight. Meaning I can still
understand what people are saying. My uhhh.... "plan" is to always be vigilant
and look for times when people cannot comprehend what I say - even the most
mundane of things - because if so then surely I am psychotic. At that point
I'll just kinda go along with whatever anyone says, even if it feels like I'm
a cow in a factory farm or whatever my mind might contrive to torture me with.
Thanks for reaching out. Sorry you've lost people. I hope they aren't gone
forever. I hope I don't go forever. We'll see, I guess.
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--- #198 fediverse/745 ---
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║ quintessential friend group: │
║ │
║ the smart one │
║ │
║ the cute one │
║ │
║ the one who can swing a bat │
║ │
║ the one who has a list of all the Nazis in the area because they hacked their │
║ email account and know who purchased nazi memorabilia │
║ │
║ the friendly one who's always down to hang out │
║ │
║ the outdoorsy one │
║ │
║ the fed │
║ │
║ the one who's always cooking something │
║ │
║ the one who's perfectly fine in silence │
║ │
║ the one who never lets a room go silent (unless everyone else wants to just │
║ chill of course - hey anyone wanna go on a walk? it's a great day) │
║ │
║ the one who's good with animals │
║ │
║ the one who's smile you can't get out of your head │
║ │
║ the one who's drop-dead gorgeous │
║ │
║ and the one who's always telling her that │
║ │
║ the one who's friends with everyone, │
║ │
║ and the one who's knitting a hat │
║ │
║ the one who knows each street in your city │
║ │
║ and the one who knows your favorite kind of candy │
║ │
║ There's more friends than that, of which I am quite sure │
║ │
║ Who's on your list? Who would find you if you disappeared? │
║ │
║ Mine's got a few, fewer than this one, but few is fine. │
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--- #199 fediverse/4528 ---
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│ CW: re: uspol │
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@user-1695
never accept your own death
fight for every second of life, something something do not go quietly into
that grim dark
what the fuck are you supposed to do? Reading what you said got me pretty
fucking pissed - keep talking for a start, it helps, people need to be pissed.
I'm also broke as shit, don't know how I'm going to pay rent and eat, but
it'll get done.
Where do you live? Can other people help you? Medications are an
organizational problem, not an insurmountable barrier. We'll make it work.
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--- #200 fediverse/3178 ---
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│ CW: uspol-revolutions-and-stuff-or-whatever │
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nothing you do on the internet will matter after the revolution. I don't care
how many backups you have, there's a zero percent chance that we'll be able to
figure out whose computer is whose after we've all moved around and given each
other names that don't correspond to the names of our family in states that we
lost.
it doesn't mean the internet is useless right now, it just means that you
should act as if you might not have it in the near future.
also, like... every computer has a password. which basically means that it's
useless unless you reflash it.
pain is temporary, and it is an excellent teacher. there will be pain, but...
we'll get over it.
don't give up. there are brighter things in our future than what we have today.
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