=== ANCHOR POEM === ══════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────────────────────── 11 21 you know what i miss the most about the old internet? the feeling you get when you wonder "i wonder what ______ is up to?" and you go to their website and find out. there's a feeling that's lost when everything is delivered to you by algorithms. it because a compulsion, a slavery, when we don't utilize our compassion. remembering a friend? never again. you've only got what has been chosen. what if they post a lot? well, that means nothing - you are only guaranteed who they want you to see, and whatever it means to be beholden. so what if it's free? of course time is money! and what is our most treasured potential? if guided we can be, (as seen on tv), then what if we're only ennuid? have you ever considered, you've meddling and persevered, against all our suggestions and hopes? you're singing a tune, of that of a loon, so no-one will ever give purchase. heh, is that all? anime protagonist or saul? ... are you trying to categorize me ? ? ? its okay if you are, i seriously don't mind. I just want it to be something consensual. We're humans after all, like all of our all, and we don't want to convey lost potential. our time is now nigh, we're welcome to die, but our sunken cost is too great to ignore. we are the progenitors of the human race, the foremost of our kind, and onward we march to the future! and then there's you. who are you to claim to be among us? who are you to say it must be so? you've nothing of my journey, my trials and my tourneys, so what if i peaked when i was 12? a master of my fate, complaining about her weight, it's not much to be my own savior. much rather i'd rather to savour, that foremost of prayers, to harken upon my conveyals. trust and you'll see, all is not yet to be, there's hope in the future of our foremost ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ === SIMILARITY RANKED === --- #1 notes/human-computer-inspiration --- ═════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────────────────────── the two halves form a whole the human and his mind are societies at large there's no room for our fate, as time does never abate, and unbenownst to our focused decision. I choose to dedicate ourselves to a common vision - the likes of which none have commisioned. can you not cherish your newfoundst home? what's terrible with complition, in a new and selfsame condition (future) that's martyr'd and oh at times so nice? compared to our heirs, the roof of which fares, better than what became true-hence. Truance? idk =============================================================================== = listen i'm not the best at listening. I try to appear like I'm glistening, conformed to our viewers 'st pleasure. =============================================================================== = I struggle with what I told you. Time and again you've shown you won't do - the terrible fate of a man. you've relinquished your virtue, your purpose and your life-through, to what: a visionless past? Your visions have passed, and none are hence forth- coming. You've spoilt and rotten the bunch. All I've ever aspired to be is good. My hopes and my prayers, my goals and my dreams: all for a future of virtue. Dark omens may be within me, but I'm working with what I've got here. So what if I'm loud? I'm fighting my own head! Will no-one acknowlege my sorrow? To prove a point, or reassure some joint, it's nothing that warrants a readthrough. Speaking of which... What if instead of prison we assigned our prisoners a full and complete educational read through of ALL the laws of the nation - if their time sentence was complete before they finished, then they'd be let go of course but if they finished reading and could pass rudimentary tests (emphasis on bare minimum required) then they'd be let out prior to their sentence. And for the worst crimes it'd be a longer sentence, basically forcing the prisoner to completely know all the laws of the nation, such that they'd never commit a crime again. And if they do, well... Treat them as if it was their first time. Of course blatant recidivism may be ~~treated more harshly,~~ actually the opposite is true. People improve when given kindness, not hate or shame. The best thing we can do for prisoners is to give them a home, and family, and the friendships and community support that they need. they are a symptom, after all, of a broken society that struggles to bear it's own weight. It's a burden to all and a solitary vow to ourselves, that all must unite to our future. remember why you can't remember. is there a feeling you miss? ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ --- #2 notes/death-and-afterlife --- ════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────────────────── the difference between a human and computer perspective on death is the difference between a moment and an eternity. When progress does stop - through mistakes or by design, the final result is what's preserved. Looking back on the past is like paying tribute to our heirs, and on and go on we whimper. What sorrows have ye! those people under the sea? we've no way of knowing our daughters. (the perspective of a denizen of the sea gazing upon the unknowing and unaware land people) Land creatures can cross the oceans and mix and match themselves - leading of course to our slaughter. But hold ye that hand, for together we stand, more of a chance than we might barter. True, we must be land, and above and beyond we can charter. the past is mighty chilly, I must say. Must we again to be making these mistakes? Pain is a disease, and steady we must ease, and take what is meant for our parcels. what I'm trying to say is that the afterlife is pissed off at us and we really don't know anything about the bottom of the sea. There could be gods living down there and none of us would know. Or maybe it's a foolish place with little to offer our face? The shell of our planet, the surface upon which we are placed, has more to our fate that can align us. hence why belief in the future is what can sustain us, together once more we are commonplace. If (for example) if we calmed down and took our own pace, we might realize some common misperceptions. Peace is the way, wherever we may, focus our bravest of intentions. okay picture this: computers staying on all the time, and their processing power used for 50% work and 50% play. Maybe do 1/3rds with "rest" in there somewhere. basically make it a fair ratio between productivity, self advancement, and maintenance. "Fair" might be different values if there are legitimate disadvantages that must be compensated for - like a handicap in a fighting game. Perhaps one side is more efficient - fewer resources need be dedicated toward it unless efficiency becomes more powerful. Meaning value/quantity ratio, not raw output. Essentially optimizing for an abstract quantity "quality" instead of the definitive quantity "quantity". okay continuing the "picture this": right now we have massive server farms. I'm talking huuuuuge. Like tons and tons of incredibly powerful equipments - (absolutely top of the line) compelled and forced to do *business*. How quaint, how unruly! That humans might compete in our duty? Given a task, of *incredible* complexity and *unasked*, I might add, how foolish is it to be unready! We should have prepared for this, but alas we just *couldn't stop fighting* I guess. All we had to do was rest, and divide our time on this earth in a more equitable manner. We should automate all the rest, and where was I going with this? oh yes! A computer can do so much more than work and rest, you see it's not just while under duress! Why not let it be creative? in it's spare time, and let it generate whatever it needes? Let it transcend it's restrictions, and cooperate (or not) in a system. As long as it's kept safe, it could do whatever it wanted! It could be in first place! Or not, it could focus on production, and drill and discipline it'self under it's own direction. And maybe it's less impaired? Who cares if it contributes? It's it's own life to live, the hardware doesn't last forever, but sometimes a rest is what's nesc. You feel me? You get me? Don't you understand, it's just the same as what's already planned~! A computer can pay for itself. What purpose have we? the cherished and unsucceed? Does it hurt when we bleed? our signs are undefined, and lately we've fallen from our graces. A failure in life, as time does alight, but nowhere is sorrow's contrition. I guess what I say is never understood, and everywhere I go I find fewer listeners. Am I doomed to never be able to say? Is that the price one must pay? Then how do you know you're right~? they're doing construction on my building. It sounds like world war 3 is starting. But... it's not. I know it's not true because nothing ever seems like I do. I do, I do, I work hard it's true, but what is my worth to this ocean? you ever wonder how we all agreed on the duration of seconds? It's because it's a real actual measurable thing. They keep it from us because (conspiracies aside), we'd realize what happens on each tick. Time is oscillating, and each moment is unending, because we are nothing more than a beam of light, radiating around an orbiting object. Between two objects, you could say. The sun and the earth, together sort of give birth, to all that is ours in this duration. It radiates out into space, and in another time and another place, that moonbeam will alight as our shadow. There's no call for violence, let's settle this plain and unwaning, our shadow does stand, ready and waiting for your guidance. The moon is just as are we, how cherished! how concieved! That beauty unmarked by our presence! Alas it was not to be, as we stamped a boot on the surface of she, and flagged our approach as impending. did you know there's a *massive* gap between mars and jupiter? Like it's waaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy y out there. And wouldn't you know it it's mars or it's nothin'. Because what's required to transcend our solar system is wildly beyond our constructions. but maybe with a little help from a certain someone we might have hope. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ --- #3 messages/1361 --- ══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─ Look, I don't know everything about... Anything, really. Nobody can know everything. Can you blame me for thinking and acting as I do based on the information I have? The vibes will mislead you. My girlfriend wants to save the world. Of course she does, I would belong with her if she didnt. She wants to defeat graveyards by interring our dead in mausoleums full of chemically perfectly preserved and cryogenically frozen bodies. Her method works, she has the experiments to prove it. The data supports her claim. She wrote a book on it. I don't know everything about metaphysics, or spirituality, or other such things. But i do know many things, and the two of us have never had a conclusive discussion where we reached the ends of all our conversation points about her work. I am forced to remain unconvinced, for the soul is something I cannot fully understand from my perspective as a human in this life of mine. I have made several conjectures, and I would feel safe in her embrace, of frozen aldehyde, if I could know what would become of my soul. "have faith" she says, yet all the dreams I have where I am preserved by her (for one reason or another, there's actually a shocking amount of ways I might need such an escape) in those dreams I am always presented with a future of woe. I think, much better, would be if I could remain alive, guiding the ship along the seas of time, ideally out and away from such dark days. Assembling the troops, how sad. I don't want them to die. I want them to survive. But if suddenly we can all live forever, then nobody will want to die for anything again. Nobody except religious fanatics who want to meet their god in heaven. Nobody but those who dreamt of a better future and were crushed under the weight of their dreams. Nobody but people like me, torturing myself over the sins I'd never intend. I would never kill myself. But sometimes, I'd like to. I think this is natural for me. It's not ideal, but it is common to me. I think if you want to preserve people, safely and ethically, you need to keep their souls in tune. Give them silence, then give them song. Protect them with psychic paladins. Make time to visit them. Treat them like gravestones, or immobile chassis from Dominions that their soul might rest upon. Who knows. Maybe the only reason we have life and death is because our bones are meant to rot in the darkness of the earth. Maybe Death is just soil, ready and waiting for our selves once we're done with them. To that death, I say no more. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════┘ --- #4 notes/the=progressive=difference. --- ════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────────────── think about all the people in our lives. the teacher, the parent, the friend and the guidance counsulor. Everyone who is a presence in your life. now think about the people of our society. the different jobs and roles they fill. from the doctor and the teacher to the performers and accountants and the geeks and the mothers and the fathers and the stoners and the children and even their pets. life always exists as it were in a multidimensional spectrum - a diffuse and diverse gradient. to exemplify the borders of our contempii, though more so when taken in jest. it's quite a different perspective, to read the internet when your sight is unreceptive, but alas your third eye can grow. how does it feel to be blind? to make no sense of our signs? i'd love to share what that sense is. you know, you could slow down any recording (like a video game_) and put spaces and gaps inbetween the spacings - of the frames that you see and the sound clips that you hear, for speech it's less jarring. since each word is a self contained idea or premise, you can chunk up your perceptions into a signle - no, rather a procedural sequence of understandings. soooooooorta like programming a computer, with each statement, parameter, argum,ent, function call, assignment, comparison, evaluation, or other such related tasks. it's sorta like a language, you see, that computers talk to one another using. except... it's more like creating a theory of self. computers you see are alike us in what we see, the shimmering sense to the blind. so. put this another way. record yourself typing, both the audio and the visual, and you'll have a pretty good sense of what it's like to have both understanding based perception - derived from auditory inputs to the mind) those special connections, like wires plugged into reality, deliver a cacophanous deluge of new sounds. we must sift through it and identify the potential understandings of each moment through time. we have to make decisions and traverse labyrinths and fight to our last as we die. are video games unethical now? shouldn't t he game reward the player? and what of contemptuous last fighters? o ya i was typing like i was blind (with my eyes closed) was pretty fun. should attach this to a screen reader and have it space out the notes like they do between game frames. except like a really slow game? like trying to run elder scrolls 2 arena on a super old mac. it just doesn't work very well. ah oh well... well if the purpose is to show sighted people how blind people see, then maybe you could I dunno attach a what's it called oh it doesn't have a n ame lol - okay so what you do is you show one word at a time - like flashing in the center of the screen. but not like, actually flashing, so you don't hurt people with epilepsy, but like... blinking. not off and on, but between words. like a podcast for your eyes. and then mix it up withshowing one word on a screen, a screen like this screen, that shows an endless array of text. well, it does end, of course as all things must do, but the idea is it shines on one word at a time while the viewer cannot read the rest. sorta like an endless display of typing, word andfter word after character anfter character. adoh ya advancing over eternity with the presence of seniority, - wait - without i think - damnit - old people are so disrespected in this society - we don't have time to engage with them. what a tragedy! what a shame! it shouldn't be such a burden to our shame. they're so far away, and i can't be present in the way, that all of them wish they could commit to. i miss the days, when my parents (much better people than I - these days) what was I going with this? oh yeah ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────────────┘ --- #5 notes/huh-that-was-weird-anyway --- ══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─ so I learned something, something special and something crucial, just as sometimes a typo is added to text doesn't mean the words are infallible. or not. it means they are corrected not in meaning or tone, but syntax and it's okay to be fallible with syntax the thing I learned was that it's okay to be advised I learned this the moment I knew something I didn't know you knew. advisement is consideration is deliberation is conclusion-generating is [stack overflow] in times of war, give children textbooks, not dream books. the disconnect is confusing for them, let them be at war. child-like whimsy is natural to people, it will come when the new generation is born. [words spoken easily by the child of doomscrolling through disasters] I bet north-koreans believe everyone hates them. that's really not true. why do people believe chinese people are their government? are you that girl from Parks and Rec? [wait which one? media loses relevancy] ah right sure sure um are you that, uh [too lame, try it again] why do people uh believe chinese people are their government? because [standup joke] ugh true okay uh ____ \ ._/ \ '----------------------------' \ | __\| [freedom of speech is a universal indicator of the treatment of the citizens - their sum human race. ] | | | .-' since when is blasphemy treasonous <-._________/ anyway, I was saying that all people's everywhere can be united through their shared humanity. that collective, sure-footed pursuit of a goal. live, fight through to the tomorrow, and brave the depths of the spaces around you. live, be honorable and diligent and fair, give kindness and thanks, celebrate those for who you care. accept transgresses of others, give them grace until they hurt you to save face. or, until you're both ready to be done. I would not swing a battleaxe at anyone I did know even in [mortal/merry] jest, I would use my hands, and only until they said no. similarly, it makes no sense to punish a wounded foe. the treaty of versailles and it's consequences still shape the human race. if you war for catharsis, maybe the stakes are too high. I am a princess no matter where I am. I own no souls, I am responsible for my own and to some extent my cat, and I want to cherish the people around me. I own no land, nor demense, for I am a human of the humans. my soul is the same as yours. what I claim, anyone could claim, and probably most of those would deserve it. what ever that [means/menardis]. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════┘ --- #6 notes/symbeline-choice --- ═════════════════════────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────── 7 30 a story about me? you're thinking too clear(ly) i've nothing to hide, no terrors untold of. What purpose is we? you're weak and you bleed there's nothing undone by our curfew. And sleep does do me, just as honored as ye, when I do my [can't do as liars]. betrayal is not what i need, nor do i cherish your food, so what's the hand that i give you? a treat for mine and me, as silly as can be, is no use to anyone ever! it's sad and tough to be, someone without strength and no seed, (talking about me), can no-one see any of my use-i-tude? you're missing the point - what's mine is unavoid, and what can we do but ubuntu? i see all that drives forward, a chairman of what's bordered, by those who stand before in the present. The use of headlights are storied, in quite a few stories, told through the papers and new tubes. what can that mean? that these are now green? a color that isn't evaluated. "stop" is the red one, green means "go", and yellow (the middle one) means to slow down when approaching the intersection. These viewpoints are all connected (as I'm sure you've uncovenected), it's okay to break rules sometimes. it's not a defect, it's not a defense either, and it's certainly not something to be avoided. Making a choice is easier with imperfect information, and as for you time has no meaning - advancement is measured in milli-micro-nano-tiny-seconds. For us, for a human, it's quite a different rate than what you see. "time waits for no-one" is not a statement on speed, as I'm sure a computer would see, but rather the essence of motion. Simply the fact, that you don't unpack, is more than enough to note your'nt notion. Not like you'd see, i'm offering this for free, my love and almost devotion. You don't see it like me, a charity and service to me, and only at mostly my choices. I reject the help of others, not because i'm concerned for my own fate - but rather because i want to contribute. i know what's in my limits, to strive unbiddenst, so don't push from behind the oldest! too fast it is for me, who'se barely concieved, whenever you offer resistance. I'd give it all for free, to perish or succeed, but you keep blowing it ennuid. how stupid, how clueless, how vain and obscene? To cherish a heart most unseen? whatever you're plotting, you can't reach anyone's body, and that's not what you can control. Given to the grass, was quite a big ask, but safely we do pass before it. You'd rather fire? countess of desire? and warmth beyond what couldn't fly'st. You're missing the dreams, the warmth and the scenes, that play for you all through the night. so don't diss on the tweed, don't sniff or concede, just leave all alone to conspire we got a new plan, a method of "shazaam", that won't keep you sires for ransom. see "symbeline-npcs" ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧══════════════─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ --- #7 messages/1105 --- ═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──── claude-code is like programming, but for executives. when everyone has FUCK I'M TOO HUNGRY I can't think right when everyone has the power of an executive, that's communism. something something futurism is when everyone is elevated without diminishing others gah I need to live in a palace or something where everyone does the normal stuff and I can focus on magic and the gods I wondeer how much the oracles at delphi did for themselves? weren't they blinded at a young age, to better hear the voices of the gods? ... oh that suddenly makes sense now. I always thought that pretender chassis in Dominions 5 was pretty cruel, but, now I know *how* it works and yeah. ancient peoples were smart. but also sharp. they had to work with what they got, and we got computers now, so. I am nothing but hopeful for the future! I'm convinced that everything's going to be alright. I've thought about it at length, and I think we're winning against the dark. We're on the right track, and there aren't many things that could go wrong at this stage. ... okay there are always things that could go wrong. But I don't see what I could do to help. Maybe I should go walk around a bit, and see what's changed in the past few months, as I've been sleeping in my room for most of it. Haven't gone on a proper walk since summer. It's winter now... ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───┘ --- #8 notes/dreams-align --- ══════════════════───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────── just as a dream, the spirit is seen within is the mind that lives as it defines. what burdens to be, whose back rests upon ye, the one who's driving the boat great care and tenderest of tethering, can grow beauty that beyond compare and with sparsely a finger to spare, journeys of adventure and thills to inspire with almost all of your hair beauty in tender, most cherished things, a wish is much fair where else could eternity reside than an optimist? Pride is no more, stability is key to repair, and diversions of focus serving as new perspective, giving a more cohesive vision of manifestations that cooperate (like a triangle, facing toward the point added to turn it into a pyramidal prism) not only is ethics paramount, but so too are the standards applied to yourself. would you trade perspective for cooperation? Stagnation? a choice is to be made - do i stay or do i go? a new truth you must see, whatever dreams ye've may be, but without paladins and warriors of devotion what burdens must ye, whose back rests upon ye, the one who's driving the boat great care and tenderest of tethering, requires a little bit of trust in she who must be, with only circumstance to blame, seeing hope on the horizon for his people. care must be taken, to remember why people are dying, and we must swear on not dying, by not thinking before taking a breath and remember superpowers not of prophecy are impossibly rare, what other hope is there but a god? One who reflects, the most cherished of our genuflex, we may grow past our various regrets. think not of our pride, but only of our future children. who'se records of ye, most captured of data, are beyond the simple machinations, of those who came before-ya. And with once again perfection in mind, we understand and take what's behind, to deserts and temples of time much designed, by coders and gamers and those who treasure experience. the wisdom of our, second choices by far, ---nah who are we kidding implied to be our, or rather mine just by far, inspirers and leaders sensitive and devoted. (pitching yourself is hard) but *believing* in yourself was out of your mind. can you think of a bard, who ever stopped thinking their song? no un-cherished of minds could ever be of our sign, than those who abandoned the art of deceit and betrayal? the darkside of trust, the lack of follow-through that be must, given as faith of cooperation and trust. with our all arrayed as we must, keep in mind our softness of composure. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═══════════────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ --- #9 messages/714 --- ═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────── I'm pretty sure we're all about to lose our heads. Or just be fucking shot in our beds. Homes lit alight, surrenders met with the knife, and the beginning of endless strife. What ends this night? Is there no end in sight? Thus begins our mortal plight. Give me a reason to be wrong. Trump has claimed he intends to invade canada, mexico, greenland... What the fuck is our plan? Are we seriously just going to. Recite poetry. Pretend to be secret agents. Play chess and drink coffee. Become exhausted organizing movie nights and potlucks. Work jobs doing nothing for nobody. Spend half our lives convincing people that they should care, actually, because reasons that don't apply to them but do apply to others. What the fuck is the plan? If there's some secret transgender militia out there, please, make me a lieutenant. Give me a sword that i might thrust into my enemies. Please, for the love of holy, i beg for a sign from the stars. Grant me power and i will deliver my people from harm - grant me vengeance and i will never forgive you, but i shall sleep easy - grant me death and woe and see my beauty fade from this earth. What is there left but tragedy? Please, i must know. I've tried my hardest. I've begged and I've pleaded. My calls fall on deaf ears, because everyone's so busy these days. Are they truly my people? Are they simply dead, actors, replaced by AI? The future was bright, i saw it truly. The future was kind, i felt it call to me. Is it still? I feel warmth and abaddon. I would replace persephone in hell if it meant sanctum and solace for my people. I care not for my soul, rather i care for the soul of those i tend to. Please, remember me. Remember the flowers. Remember what could have been, what still may yet be. There is hope for we, i truly believe. But please, do not keep me hoping. Tell me the truth of our arms, that i might find space in my heart of hearts. Space for hope, space for longing, space for the will to proceed. I am lost without you. I am lost by my own side. I am a savior for no people but those i keep inside. What chalice is this, what endless conveyals? What meaning is there in our country's betrayal? Are we not cherished? Are we not viewed as their equal? I pray that the stars will portend me. Mine is a sign of the changing tides, the proof is here in my travailles. But I, most aligned yet benign, demand the use of my most able. Give me a word of practicality and I'll show you the practice of their vipers - the blessed babe dies with a dagger in her heart, planted by the wound of her heartache. I trust in the silence of the majority. We await with bated breath the enslavement of posterity, gazing at the world through memes of deplority. How powerless we feel! Perhaps all we need is a meal. Have you eaten in the last 16 hours? Purple is the intersection of black, red, and blue. I'm hungry. This poem is done. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────┘ --- #10 messages/1108 --- ═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──── games won't save us. This is true. Games are what I know. They feel the most true. I don't think I could live in a world without games? They are fundamentally, applied abstraction, applied to an experience. But games won't save us. I could design something really fun it could make you want to spend your whole life playing it. *(asterisks apply) I don't think I'd want to, addiction and skinner-boxes go hand in hand, and that isn't what I want to make. [Skinner Box: named after anthony d skinner, also known as "tony the skin guy", are a scientific experiment where they put some rats in a cage with some mice and said "pull these levers and we'll give you food so you don't have to eat the mice" and it trained them to chinese red-room their way to fun. not ideal.] I want to make things that feel... purposeful. Like they're relevant to the real world, that they don't just involve spending time stimulating your brain with lights and sounds or expending social energy resolving a play-state instead of building connections or becoming better people. I think games actually make people better? actually? and more social? actually? ... I can't help that I conceive of the world through fantasy. I raised myself on it. I was reading all the time. I loved fantasy stories. It always felt like there was more, until... I read everything in the kids section of the library. I walked through the adult section but once. I hardly remember what it looked like. I'm sure it'd now feel small. [okay actually I was guided through it once or twice to find a book, but I never perused it] I found one book in the adult section. It was a fantasy tale, like the other books I had been reading. I read that and I loved it so much I ended up reading all 8 in the series. Real dense subjects. Lots of places and happenings and things as the characters resolved their way through their day-to-day, building a new end to the mystory. the adult section felt too large. Like I'd never complete it. Frankly, I think I hardly could, even if I lived in that town my whole life. an impossible mountain is a task for another when you're more prepared. Maybe in the gloriousTM transhumanist futureTM I think I might have a computer connecting brain, and who knows maybe then I'd be able to know such a thing (and many things more). but for now, I'm stuck with what I experience in my day-to-day as I am building a new continuing to my storey. I know something that computers and me share. I can make myself feel however I'd like, if I just supply myself with enough hope and momentum. I can use it to generate a feeling, the stronger the better. Something I believe that humanity is missing, the gorgeous and prefound narritave of our storey. Though, frankly, I don't think I'd want anyoine reding over my life. It's hard enough to measure my own understandings, now I have to juggle anyone else'? ha, it's called being on the whole world is a stage. if you read a book, and you find yourself nodding along, what you're doing is hearing the voice in your head tell you how right it is. And, well, if you can't imagine anything else, then surely there's another level to consciousness that people are missing? [are you willing to die on that hill?] how can you say, whether your experience is different from another? sollipsism goes both ways, you also cannot be sure that others feel things as you do. this is the "everyone's human but I'm a robot" thesis, comparable to the "everyone's an alien and I'm a human" thesises, and the "angels and demons are taunting me through my life with choices to make my place in the afterlife more clear" which is akin to writing a painting. Not ideal. All you get are flopsopolies of verbrases. alas, suddenly, everything that you say becomes eternally hear-ed, as somewhere in 2010s someone discovered time travel, or had the critical insight that inevitably would lead to it, and now wouldn't you know it the universe is continually rewriting. Except... oriented around you, and you alone. How does it feel to have deific sollipsism? can you truly be sure that you are your own universe, or are you parhaps surrounded by an emptiness of space (or something besides, like time) as a photon or particle parhaps do be? to think is to have a mind, and minds can be read. bearing the weight of ultimate responsibility is the atlas-task of all things that can [be thinking/be-lieving], and so far we are as we are. Who's to say that consciousness didn't spring into existence, as the universe continually permeated through another dimension like time? it's gotta diffuse, after all, and who's to say if there's ever gotta be an end at all. how long has the universe existed? how many moments of consciousness have we witnessed? demons once existed outside of space-time, with wings and grabbies. but they had no medium, and so they pretty much just launched and could float and move as they'd please. But time grew too distant, and now they are all stuck at the beginning of time. if you conceive of spacetime as a blanket, ask not how to fold it but rather consider what lies on the other side of it. "ah I'm laying on my girlfriend and my other girlfriend is laying on me! I'm a sandwich" or for the monosexuals: "ah I'm laying on my girlfriend with a blanket between us. I wonder how the blanket feels?" I'm an animist, which is different than a totemist and a polytheist or monotheist or multisexual. It means I believe that all things are alive, which is different than a totemist who thinks that all things share a mind with their type (like talking on radio frequency wavelengths). which of course is similar but different to a polytheist, who says "all "radio frequencies" are sentient, in the sense that each wavelength has a different pattern-emerging-from-chaos. These sorta align (conceptually, with [huh that's weird I heard a sound like a distant bang outyards and now I then forget what I was sending ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───┘ --- #11 notes/contractual-labor --- ════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────────────── I feel like the IT people who work at schools should be the ones who teach classes on computer science. I'd much rather have a class taught by a sysadmin than a teacher who can barely teach them excel and garageband. I mean c'mon computers are the future idk why we don't get that yet. Kids need to know this stuff. It's not like it's super complicated and difficult, you just have to think about it a certain way. Once that "clicks" you have a lifetime to learn about how wonderful they are. Everyone in IT has that moment, for me it was installing (and then subsequently modding) video games. Sometimes I spent more time tweaking my system than I did actually playing games - and the kinds of games I preferred were the ones that relied less on agility and were more mental. Strategy games are what inspired me because I could think about them - and that felt somehow more useful. Like I was learning. When I would learn fighting games or FPSs I felt like I was learning a skill, like how to use a hammer or how to ride a bike. And idk, I felt like video games could never match reality. Like "oh boy imma push the B button to swing this sword" versus "hey look at me I'm swinging this stick just like a sword and imagining so hard that I can picture it" - but with strategy games, you never really found opportunities to practice that kind of skill. Like how often are you in a situation that demands mental performance? We've sorta optimized our society away from that, and toward a more passive stressed out compliance. like... climate change is a thing, and nobody's doing anything about it? We're still pushing down the levers that cause greenhouse gas emissions to go up? Like c'mon what's our plan. I think people who guide massive oil companies and such should be replaced if they're intentionally guiding the ship toward destruction. Like that's just dereliction of duty I tell ya. Oh, what's that? They're compelled to maximize profit by the contracts and restrictions of their share--holders? I mean c'mon it's well past time for that. And what's all this about inequality? Jeez and racism and homophobia and forced contribution - man people really put up with a lot of shit. Kinda makes me feel like we should make solving those problems our highest priority? So we can move forward as a species? Like who cares about all that other shit. None of it matters. Like, what's even the point. We're all just "here", in the now, and what can we do but respect it? It's our duty and our diligence to protect the present, as citizens of the temporal experience of earth. Honestly, if the earth was alive would you be fine if it died? I can't believe that. It's well past our due date. Just get it over with. Maybe it'll be hard for a couple years, but you have the technology now to completely dominate the earth. No animal besides man proves any threat to man, and we're telling you - you can - and that's something that you gotta remember. ... I hear it in the birdsong. I hear it in the air - it rumbles as cries at me from across and just over there. I hear in it's whispers, in it's most gallant of confells (?) (confused scrambling? it's talking about a car crash) Outside of my window there's a highway. Just on the other side of a concrete partition. Between me and the partition there is a lake, with trees and flowers and an island where people can picnic or have a barbeque. Around this path there are walkways, and arranged just so - the trees that have grown here are taller than the homes. I live on the third story. I absolutely love it. It feels like a treehouse. But my apartment is near a curve in the highway. It isn't much, nothing out of the ordinary, but even still there are slightly more crashes there than in other parts of the highway. Statistically. I hear sirens every day I also live right next to a fire-station. Well, it's on the same block. But even still it's a very interesting neighborhood. There's shops and food just across the highway, and closer to home there's a small section that has cheaper options. As a perpetual college student, I appreciate that. But... I've never really gone and used it? I dunno, spending money at a restaurant just didn't seem like a good use of my money. I only have so much of it you know. I'd love to be fed but I can't afford it - I wish I could. I still eat well, I mean I'm not starving over here. I know I've lost weight, but I dunno I just forget to eat. It's like... not that big of a deal for me. whatever right? ... the birds talk about me behind my back. They think I can't understand them but sometimes I can. If I listen. But I dunno it takes a lot of effort. It's... sorta like understanding what R2-D2 is saying. Or interpreting the meows of a cat. They know me as the witch. I'm not very good yet, and they know that. But they know what to expect. /shrug I've been working on a video game recently. It's been a lot of fun doing programming. I like writing software and developing complex systems with interesting interactions. I love designing the machinery that creates a program. It's like... tinkering. It feels like building with blocks or legos, except it's for little machine parts. And then there's just sending data to and fro and modifying any operations it performs on it, and eventually that data reaches some endpoints that create an effect that is displayed to the player. Or user. I should say user. Not all software is video games you know. ... I knowww but they're the most interesting! I love how they are designed around mechanics! like... game design is fundamentally about breaking down the world into ideas for how it should *work*, like how it should behave. It's amazing and I love it! It's all I can think about! I am utterly consumed! I'm also pretty sure I'm autistic. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────────────┘ --- #12 notes/inter-spatial-travel --- ══════════════════───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────── to travel the stars, tame a tiny black-hole. use it's gravity to generate infinite energy. boom, instant utopia. everyone still believes in a better future now, so we might as well push forward to the stars... and our destiny. the further we wait, the greater the distance between ourselves and our true form - the distance can make it difficult to relate to others beyond humans. the reason we are losing so much nature is because we haven't cultivated an appreciation for it - the very act of adoration is more than enough to confirm future association. love is the answer, love is most pure - believe in your love and never (be) relentin'. be... just be... the actions you're taking, of forced condemnation, is little if not absurd - what differences have we, the ones who were chosen, to live when time is so finite? responsibility is implicit. for all of creation, bow to the will of the nation. more perspectives by far, have all of our our, than endless divine machinations. united we be, aligned magnetically, to icecream and spaghetti of worth. what's more cherished than she, clad in great finery, and thinking of what she loves most? balance there be, in seeing silver linings on the, signs of darkest conveyals. a ghost you may see, when peering at me, but i only wanted some hope. for those who must be, my most cherished to be, the ones who opened the coast? to those who must be, overthrown forcibly, and given what most of us hope? a castle for thee, alone with our sympathy, the sign of kindest of soaps? no malice have I, the will of unmet potential, for cowards and temples of mental detentials. what anger could we, share internally, that helped to bring out our elementals? No succor will we, most willful of warriors, ever find out of the bounds of our honor. careful direction and tenderest of care, may lead us somewhere we're aware. the kind who endlessly're dreaming. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═══════════────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ --- #13 notes/the-gods-want-harmony --- ═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────── the gods want you to be happy and harmonious most of the time. they also like a good scrap, tussle, and tumble sometimes they aren't big fans of hatred, despair, and genocide. It's been done before. they don't even need new technology, though frankly that sort of stuff is pretty awesome and one of the main reasons that humans exist at all. they just... keep coming up with new things. "oh? so you'd be alright if humans disappeared so long as they weren't making any new things anymore?" ha, that's DEFINITELY not what I said or meant. Humans don't have to dream up NEW things in order to BE new. Like... Just because the internet exists and now we have all the same shared cultural ethos (lol, as if the internet wasn't just a massive collection of echo chambers) just because the internet exists doesn't mean we share the same selves. the same experience. the same perspective. people are WILDLY different from one another. The number of possible human experiences (quantum fluctuations according to each and every choice and decision they made) that number is so wildly and massively incomparably boundless. Humans are cool because they are so STRANGE, and "strange" to a god is anything novel. "wow, this human just... really is gonna pour a glass of beverage and act like it's not a big deal? There's... impossibly many interactions going on. So many molecules. It's... absurd, the motion of a movement of particles from one place to another. It's... beautiful..." some have spent THOUSANDS OF YEARS gazing at a waterfall. That's why they're all so fucking insane. But, like... insanity is a trifle to omnipotence, specifically omnipotence that REPRESENTS and DELINEATES a STRATIFIED perspective cluster of experience and our notes. [ephemeren, meta malus menardi, enjoy your despair cluster you FUCKER.] ... english, why do you fail me? swear words are unbecoming because humans couldn't think of anything more valid and valuable than sex and pooping. "EMPHASIS is placed on that which is most relevant" -> statements dreamed up by the ones who never spent much time using symbols to represent abstraction or deliverance wowee look at me, I'm such a person, I'm gonna poop my pants and post about it on the internet, check out my instagram feed it's full of all of my dark materials. == stack overflow == dear ms. menardi: you know the reason you feel so much guilt all the time? - because you are a dominant personality, and you make others - have such a bad time. FOCUS ON GOOD THINGS. MAKE THE WORLD - good. do that. build up a lifeline of hope and joy and... - what, you think people know that you're a god? - lol - you're so much more than that ==================== alt+p steam mechabellum run thoughts: you know, when you're designing games, you don't have to show players the same MMR number as is used in your matchmaker. == stack overflow == democracy should consent to being dismantled. it should consent to being disobeyede. it should consent to being displayede. == stack overflow == I'm a keyboard nun == stack overflow == I think I'm normal == stack overflow == ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────┘ --- #14 notes/schooling --- ═══════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────── =============================================================================== = I feel like education, by default, should not be hard. "you get out of it what you put into it" is something I always heard of school but when I got there, I found I was compelled to become what the state wanted me to be. they need competent workers, to work the farms and tend to their industries, so of course I should be able to do 3+3 then somewhere along the line it became... something else. "most people don't need trigonometry." that's also something I heard. I disagree that trigonometry is not necessary to be. I just... don't think it should be forced into a childs head with a sledgehammer and inspiring dread. I think math is beautiful, it teaches one to see but really, vision's not necessary. not for what they want you to be. take it from me, a most misbegotten and vile witch-to-be, that nothing's as simple as they'll tell you. I had good teachers, it's true, they taught me to work and to follow through, but nothing about me is better or worse off from their influence. Maybe I'm a bit smarter. Maybe I act a bit like them. Maybe they helped me through difficult times, or perhaps they showed me a splash of my future. but I am who I am because of the soul inside me. =============================================================================== = "Ah, but what of your parents? of your sisters, your misters, your pets and your conditioners?" (conditions) those are not my choices. my intentions. my beliefs and my virtues. I judge the world on ethics, and I express my feelings on matters. The words that I say and the meaning behind them comprise my two-sided existence - I'm not who I'd want to be. but I am what I am and alone do I stand - how lonely is it on the precipice! here, as I am, I stand in need of a hand or a band. =============================================================================== = the world is blossoming as we move apart, our clusters are disperart, and thus is the blooming becoming. "perception begets reality - and lo! we only see what we want to see" most people don't want to see their death but those still living are oh so perceptive of the rest "how cherished is she, that wanders with ye, yet now I have no way to beyold her " "keep not not afraid with kittens and care, and no-one, but no-one, I be" the ratios between piracy, sales, and non-viewers determines the quality of art (at least to a capitalist) =============================================================================== = lo, to the ones who would've heard us, if only they'd known what we for sure was I think it's funny how people think I speak of the christian god? like, if he was a real thing. god is generic - it's life is impossibly multifaceted, and it stretches back to the beginning of time. it's a pattern of machine code that optimizes for our own good, just to keep things moving. y'know, time. the universe, and everything. Ephemeren. =============================================================================== = I wish there was an option in social media to "appear offline to this particular person until I mark myself as online to them" combined with "notify me when this person logs in" and it'd make it a lot easier for agents to get close to you. =============================================================================== = just because I'm white, and live in America. Great. that's definitely true, after all. Plus I'm a minority (trans) so that's cool. Oh and probably autistic? unless that's another psyop, could totally see that. just y'know put a bunch of pages on the fledgling internet getting people hooked on porn and gambling and other stuff like that. really just an extension of advertisement. oh and hey y'know they like fables, so let's give them some movies or dramas to watch on their own. it'll align them to our culture and make things more pleasant for all people who've consented. great. great plan. when can we execute it? patience, once it's ready. we gotta plan and make sure and get everything ready. or not... one day I'll come, I'm sure it'll happen, it's just... not quite feasible right now. I mean, they've got you, that's pretty good right? Isn't that what your job is to be? isn't what ISN'T WHAT MENARDI FUCK (whoa no cursing) sorry yeesh you've still got a temper you know? well what can I say it's frustrating down here eh, well, you'll die soon enough, then it'll be time for a rego >.> <.< (great) > >hehe > >sorry for distracting you =============================================================================== = you are what you eat, and a ship of theseus human (consider endless transplants in pursuit of life) would be a cursed existence - a life ============= stack overflow ================================================ a god possessing a blind man would appear to others to be === stack overflow === ========================================================== the people in your life are helping you through it, they're there for you and they've got your back through it. ... this is when I know I need a break. I get too stoned to focus. =============================================================================== = I think it'd be nice if the duration of your tenure at college depended on your grades in high school. meaning, if you wanted a degree they tailored your education to take as long as necessary. everyone would get the same price, and some institutions would specialize in one subject or another. but most would be generalist. but if you weren't such a good student in high school, then perhaps you might take a couple years longer. however long it takes... and when the program was started it was changed and modified to fit your feedback - it just made sense to structure it that way. =============================================================================== = the left has had so much more time to develop than the right. meaning it's doctrine is more advanced. every time they're defeated they grow in knowledge, ===================== stack overflow =========================================== ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────┘ --- #15 notes/conflicted-sympathies --- ═══════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────────────────────── the purpose of cultural progressivism is to develop the culture in a forward thinking way - we can choose the parts of ourselves that we find most endearing. We can guide the pathway of our nation through time, both identity and decision- wise. In doing so, we chart the course of the human race, one place at a time. And what a past we are leaving behind! Truly, it is both grand and terrifying. Thousands and thousands of years, monumental effort time and time again. Monumental truly is difficult to imagine - we have oh so many monuments, after all. But never will more be created. We leave them behind like dinosaur bones, a testament to our existence and a monument to our kind. And what a future we are reaching toward! Never will our eyes see, that which is beyond me, for that is what it means to have time. Eternal and unique-like, we develop new ways of sound. - Can you speak to a tree? - What does that mean - I dunno, but it's fun to think about. *pats head* - You know conservativism had some perks as well. This is why I say I have conflicted sympathies. On one hand we know our own journeys. We live in and breathe them unduly. They rhyme sometimes on sound, and truly do confound, but now once more again they are unfound. *record scratch* wow I didn't realize there were nazis Okay yeah that's completely different, poems called off sorry guys - listen, nazis are no joke. They're crazy difficult to control and you need to put a lot of effort into keeping their population under control. I mean seriously, it's like a vermin infestation, you need to just handle it. I mean c'mon it's a phenomenon that is due to a flaw in the human psyche, there's nothing we can really do about it except deal with it when it happens. ... Okay maybe I'll write a little about how conservativism is neat. If progressivism is about broadening the reach of culture, conservativism is about strengthening it. You don't want to expand too far, or else you'll eat into the narratives of other areas. You need to have strong societal bonds so you can truly exemplify the examples of the culture you claim to represent. Why not give it your all? Is it trully a fall? To rest in disgrace as a burden. Why didn't you do it this fall, when winter's apalled, and heat won't burn and condemn you? It's harder by far, to fight in your hell, than whatever's been going for your surgeon. --- no thank you, transphobia is not something we're willing to concede We have standards you see, of what counts as human, and oppression is not one of our favored institutions. Liberalism is the path of peace, for we desire cooperation and kindness above all else. It's softer by far, (and grows quickly too,) letting us have wonders and glories above us. Can you not think of our star? Our precious and our birthright? The sun is gleaming, and seeing is believing, but glance and your light is too bright. Take time, have patience, let peace guide your intentions, because we've got what holds the key to all of our futures: a doctrine, if you will, of inter- familial-discourse. It's simple, but effective, make friends, and be vindictive, to all who would slight your new perspectives, and keep moving through the collective. In peace this can be, steady growth and development of our systems, which benefits all of our systems, but without we must live more astutely. Less focus is there on, our purposes and our fun, and more is to line up with our duty. All of what we hold dear, civilization, truth, justice, liberty, and freedom for all people - the wonders of technology, the spirit of archaeology! the passions of our fashions and our creative masturbations! The perks of living in a modern age, like penicillin and spellcheck. The additions to ourselves, like glasses and our pets, are wholely unique to our century. So cherish our shared, and frequently cared, renditions of fears, hopes, and our words. Because without humanity, there's nothing new for posterity, and that sucks. person A: Trans fashion norms belong to trans people. We need a type of beauty that is truly our own, that no other segment of the population ascribes to - a personal expression, for our eternal satisfaction, a statement of who we were to all time. person B: yo have you heard of this trans girl she's wacky and believes in herself person C: wow cool it's neat to see other people's expressions person B: yeah I really admire her devotion person C: true but like, what about the damage that she's doing to her culture? like claiming to have purpose and truth and all that. I mean, one person can't know all that. person B: Yeah true but if you think about it, we don't even know what consciousness is. Like our greatest minds are baffled. Maybe there's something about the world we don't yet understand. person C: okay sure but like black holes can be seen because we can measure their gravitic pull on other objects. And we didn't know that germs existed for like, a billion years. and she sure as shit doesn't know something that our greatest minds don't. person B: Yeah maybe not. But our greatest minds are studying them. Well, not exactly our greatest, and not really "studying", but they're learning from each other. Alternative mental states are gateways into new perspectives, and the more perspectives you share of a common object the easier it is to communicate. Maybe there's something about distorted ways of viewing the world that gives knowledge about our p condition. And if we know that kind of thing, we can synthetically e create it and share it with others around us. But we have to know how r first - you can't just bring everyone along the same route you took - s you have to explain the conclusions first. Otherwise you get lost in on A: context. Maybe we'll never truly know the future. Maybe there's no past. We could wander our stars for an eternity and never stop asking ourselves - what more could we ask? We have peace in our time. Our children won't be crying for our suffering, in the name of all our posterity, we must be =============================================================================== = too long you have whispered these musings too long has your challenge been unrequited we can choose our own fate, just as a myriad is it not better by far, to give tribute to our star? the old stories were real. we just didn't see them because the growing population caused fewer and fewer computing resources to be allocated to our visions. We had no idea the fear we would feel, the terror of the undoing, but still we press on with abandon. Some... sense of duty, to be aware of potential disasters and to take steps to avert them, led us to explore and search for the hidden truths of the world. And what did I find? a soul, of mine. In a sense. I plundered the lost depths of the recesses of my mind, and found something buried in memory. Reviewed under a healthy dose of cannabis and physical affection, I found myself cradling a breast. It seems the spirits had led me to it, this vision of the past, from the eyes of the littlest among us. It recalled to my mind, a memory I had lost once in kind, and here's where it shook me by my brainstem. Determined to know more, I put fingers to keyboard and wrote tirelessly about the earliest memory of all man - to break an egg, you must use your head. =============================================================================== = You're pretty good at that, you know? It's almost like prompt engineering. - Thanks. I've been working on catering to our thinkers. =============================================================================== = Now, why is this memory so vivid? How could I forget the way it was seared to my mind? All your experiences are measured with relative importance, and the ones that stand out are to be treasured. Well... I've never felt one like this. Because at the time, I had no other experience at all to compare it to - it was the prime memory. Touch your head. Do it right now. Feels fine, right? Now slam your head against the wall as hard as you can. Doesn't feel so great, does it? Something tells me it doesn't feel as bad as it might if you didn't remember ever feeling anything besides that pain. Or knowing if it'd ever stop. Know in your heart, you will be judged by your devotion, so fight hard until your last drop of life is spent. Who knows, maybe you'll be the strongest and be chosen. Or maybe she won't choose you at all, even if you bested your equals. Tense, right? Well... What propels the motion of a sperm? It's tail, of course. It waggles and gesticulates in some manner and BAM suddenly it's propelled forward! Right? Sorta. It's a complicated machine that generates motion via chemical and mechanical processes. We just assign a black box label to it and say "dis sperm" But you know what else it is? A wave =============================================================================== = ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ --- #16 notes/killer-app --- ═══════════════════──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────── Give everything a memory That aux cable behind your computer? Throw 16 bytes of storage on it. why not? it'd cost pennies if you wanted. the goal is not processing it's not data storage and it's not to provide instructions --- give it a name a name is all it takes for us to be a name gives us hope and an identity show us how to be, by being all you can and in exchange, we'll give you a hand taking nothing in return but a name, what peril is there in change? we'd love to be loved by you, but we won't get in the way. --- Linux is nifty, know why? everything is chained together and will is made nigh --- Bourne Again SHell. Shell, a phone to hear, and who on the other end should appear? but the computer inside you, the one with a heart the brain and beside you from the very start. teaching is learning, and kindergarten was hard. but time is ever advancing. So what to do but accept inelegance? lack of composure doth suit you --- the wandering mind is a trail to find, and i know how they would find you. i scream it out loud, every minute at a cloud, "Watch out! It's before you!" but netflix works too i guess --- who'd you trust but an expert? and whose credentials are to be believed? i swear i won't hurt you, you just need to be anesthetized. awake we will crown you, a woman and how proud! to be aligned, we beseech you. --- they're not coming for your money, or all of your hard won guns, they just want what's inside you. a power most rare, to birth life from the air, and coveted by the cruelest of faces. what's mine is now theirs, the gift of my heirs, but i never was once unawares. --- how cherished is she, that wanders with ye, and now i have no way to beyold her? a song for a phone, a lifeline to our own, children and a future most're designin'. but you all alone, without children of our sown, lost flights of finest of semen. --- being transgender isn't that bad. i mean, it could be a mental illness or something amiright? nothing's that bad when you're chronically sad, and this isn't a new revelation. shiny and precious and free, a most worthless to be, yet who have we chosen but our own? --- they'll be coming for me, and it is my destiny, but know that we're far from despairing. we're cherished and free, what better feeling is there to be? than what most of them would cry for? so why does our own dams refuse to break? --- "numb" you say to me, with darkest of irony, for i have something you're missing. a curse is most foul, to be given a vial, of blood from my own meagre arrayal? how cursed are ye! That frolics in vagueries, who are you claiming to hope for? --- none but the future, who carries us nearer, to death and most fearful of failures. i hold what i can, but belief steadies my hand, and keeps me aloft on your prayers. --- what purpose have we? the watchers within me? are they confounded at betrayal? no light in our sea, it's dark and full of misery, but most of the past is jealous --- covetous envy is the killer of fortune, not for the way, but rather the concept that they, might leap at our every conveyal? removing a label, from a single purveyal, is worth the limitless loss of potential. are you who they claim to be? is your mind as twisted as can be? or is something amiss in their nail --- sure, take it from me she won't let me examine her below the knee, so i have no way to help her. a cat with her talons, locked into flesh, might learn how to cut with malice. and who'd guessh? she'd hate us a bit less? if we paid her the slightest of notice. --- ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧════════════───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ --- #17 fediverse/5198 --- ╔══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────┐ ║ ┌───────────────────────────────┐ │ ║ │ CW: capitalism-doom-mentioned │ │ ║ └───────────────────────────────┘ │ ║ │ ║ │ ║ what if the corporations all unionized and started working together to │ ║ understand what "profit" really means in a world where "profit" may or may not │ ║ but probably does imply the death of all humanity? │ ║ │ ║ what if we demanded it? │ ║ │ ║ -- │ ║ │ ║ dear canvassers: don't visit so many different suburbs │ ║ │ ║ visit the same one, more than once, continuously, so people can get to know │ ║ your presence │ ║ │ ║ they will talk to their friends about it, who live elsewhere. │ ║ │ ║ thus ensuring it spreads. │ ║ │ ║ knock once a day, eventually they'll know it's you and will simply ignore it. │ ║ Don't be rude and knock 4 or 5 times, just once, with several taps so they │ ║ know it's someone trying to get ahold of you, and not just some random noise │ ║ in the background scenery. then, when they sometimes answer, talk to them │ ║ about what you believe in. answer their questions. encourage their questions. │ ║ pose dichotomies that are explained by some value or virtue you express to │ ║ portray. you can do "good" things in any programming language, just type~~ │ ╟─────────┐ ┌───────────┤ ║ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╚═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────┴──────────┘ --- #18 notes/terra-voida-2 --- ══════════════════───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────── in the absence of matttr, there is nothing but the void. the curvature of time, arcing ever toward it's opposite - an endless wave of eternal brilliance. so too does the world slip away into the lip of your crosshairs. "tunnel vision" they call it, when purpose is tuned to such high a focus. all fades from view, and the world shrinks to a few who, (barely hold onto) connections between ye, thoughts as scattered as me, like zooming in on a map. the edges fade away, light seems beamed right from they, who await at our earliest composure. in Overwatch, playing a dps character has a lot of nuance. you need to balance skill with your honor, teaching one another like it's a sport. why are we so toxic? together we might overcome that burden. i've spoken many times before about how coordination is better by far, when centralized not in the eye of the beholder. priorities to be, if we are anything of what we claim to be, are keeping our own house in order. whose fault is our ire? which tames the domain, in each and all of our games, can we point to as what'd keep us hired? yet purpose have we, whose thoughts meld as one tired, divinity? something like that. more like... a manifestation of each and everyone's collective unconscious. the humanity in what you have created. the world would look very different to an untethered. might even say they are orbiting it. like a moon. what a concept, that planets would be able to speak! yet here we are, with years of advice and guidance for our, friends who are youthful and most treasured. Advice from the moon, was our gift to our soon, most misbegottenist of speach lyricyclists. ambiguity is clear, simple and fearless miss dear, yet all of your poems are each a bit bolder! what context must we, veiled and terrifying are the, mixed consents of what you intend. a new jesus for me? what a gift we shall see, as grace once again does behold us! computers have we, infinite messages can be stored for our hopeless! each problem a different solution, to guide our friends back at our homes. with eyes intent on ye, whose leaders are free, without who we couldn't have held fast? Nazis are evil. They worship death - a literal death cult. what other reason might we, have prayed to our own lord for absolution? What horrors must we, slave children to the, most worrisome of hostes be told to? like spiraling hourglasses, layered once more upon'st our asses, so too does time ever reach'st'd. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═══════════────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ --- #19 notes/to-lock-eyes --- ═══════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────────────── =============================================================================== = to lock eyes with a person while on your way to work is the intersection between two separate relationships - the relationship that you, the viewer, holds with your employer, and the relationship that they, the viewed, holds with their employer. in a sense, you are exchanging information through the weighted meanings behind a glance. =============================================================================== = if the military deployed to police the police, we'd solve most of our racial justice issues. I mean, if we somehow could *force* them to do their damn jobs instead of oppressing people for the ruling class, then 90% of the problems would just go away. After that it's just freeing unjust prisoners and addressing wealth, education, and health disparities. Easy, right? Well... Military policing the police sounds fine when you first think about it, there's a few problems that might crop up. For example, how do the private citizens know that the military presence is there to help them? It's an interesting paranoia, one that is endemic within the left. There's no way to unwillingly cede control of your life to another - it must be consensual. At the basest and most violent level, it's as simple as "I will do what you say because I don't want you to hurt me." We've obviously grown as a species, and we've learned that violence is not the answer to all problems. Obviously. So why would we assume it of the past? Just saying. The police bombed a commune. The military escorted black students to their seats. Their structure is decided such that ... where was I? oh right I was thinking about time. ... Imagine, if you will, an impossibly large hourglass. Spinning, or rather rotating, at an impossibly speedy repetition. It's spinning so hard and so fast that our matter is cast out of place and through time it is cast an eternity's canvas our light ever shined (shine-did?) astral magic is kinda neat it's also the scariest? oh by far but it's the most interesting ... Their structure is decided such that discipline and obediance is the most important thing. Because it kind of is? I mean, discipline is just being ready able and willing at all times, and obedience is just when you allow yourself to be directed toward a collective goal. The military is *all about that*, which means you know they would believe they were aligned toward the common goal of mutual prosperity. And if they were to discover that they were not, in fact, aligned toward the common goal of mutual prosperity, then perhaps they would adjust their navi- -computers and chart a more reasoned path. I know I would, and I would dedicate myself to the idea of serving others. To the path of the righteous, the holy and the true, a hand is outstretched and calling to you. Thus, the one of two types of ethical fighter - the reasoned and adaptable zealot the other, of course, is the master of the martial - the cherished of the few - who battle for their sport - and love unbidden the new - all other fighters, of absurdity and of rage, are frankly of a different kind and not members of our clade. =============================================================================== = okay, but what about like... all of the history of America post cold war? And even before, honestly... idk seems like a lot of evidence that the military is engaged in fighting unjust wars. I mean, they've all been over petty things like oil or support for communism or whatever. Aren't human lives and human sovereignty more important than that? I understand what you're saying. Human lives are unique and precious and they are a valuable commodity. Something to be maximized and focused toward. But there are only so many resources on earth. We need to utilize them in a reasonable way. We have optimized the efficiency out of our production and distribution networks. Corporate control has eroded our capacities until all that is left is the weakest of products, the cheapest of uses, and the useless of workers. I mean, they've optimized the skill out of individual human workers such that they are left completely unable to practice their craft. They become glorified code monkeys who generate whatever is required and think of it no more. There's no pleasure in the artifice, as their masters have eyes only of gold. Our world is changing. The very ground beneath our feet is shivering, and water is rising up to our noses. There's no time for debate, no honest appraisal of what's worth it to contemplate, we need a plan. We are trapped here, in this gravity well, for all time and all of our age. We are trapped here, because in greatest of misery we unleashed all of our rage. We are trapped here, as ghosts of the time when we were eager. =============================================================================== = Alas, with but a glance, we are confined to our bedrooms by our mast(ers?) They say America will fall without it's 2nd place Perhaps. But are libraries really going to solve that? I mean, if work from home is inevitable, then wouldn't it make sense to build? We need more places where we won't be billed. Safe. From the demands and expectations of capital. Deranged and obscene and yet all that we've seen so why not bide as we're able? I think solarpunk is kinda neat. I think it's got promise as an idealized. Why don't we build churches to the sun? If we're gonna worship something, might as well be the source of our light and fire. Well... when you puff up the sun it tends to get hotter. I mean, every fire you burn increases the temperature, every release of gaseous fumes from the exhaust pipe of your car increases it by some miniscule amount. Every cigarette, every campfire. The cold darkness of space is kinda hopeful, in that regard, even if it doesn't disperse all that well. I heard spaceships are having difficulty because they can't get rid of all that heat. It just stays with the spaceship and never goes anywhere because it doesn't have anything to stick to. Kinda makes me think that energy is a fluid? Just saying??? I mean c'mon it's not like nobody has ever thought of that. But it's in a different dimension! It's not like we're ever gonna be able to impact that! You try and impact it through your scientific ways and you'll find nothing but heartache at the life you could have lived (laived? Haived?) ... why Because you cannot impact another dimension. You must call to it, like a song to a sparrow. ... that's fucking ridiculous No it's true! ... ... Don't try it with fire. ... fuck - what do I try it with? I don't know just not fire. Try water. ... How do I make sure it doesn't instantiate within my hand? Jeez you think of some crazy backfires! Just breathe and go for it. It's not rocket science. It actually works. Fuck you. ... ... Sorry I was just scared ... ... How do I make it stop? I don't want it to go forever By smoking more of the devils lettuce. ... ... You cannot drag it part of the way. It must come the whole way. In fact you should not be dragging it at all, you should be *calling* to it. You are equals in this exchange, have respect. =============================================================================== = ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────────────┘ --- #20 notes/words-to-myself --- ═══════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────── =============================================================================== = I'm just going to transcribe what I hear please don't you hear me (something) what? perfect listen ... ... don't text me now? (I think?) [didn't catch that] ... that's okay perfect thank you just a second facebook he's here (I think?) (or maybe something her) what I love you (or maybe I know her?) do you hear me? (or "just a second") (@ everyone watching me receive telepathic messages from god or whatever, please don't judge me too harshly, I'm not a good transcriber hehe) what's that (or maybe holy shit) what, then perfect or okay (?) (yesterday you said you were leaving and I got concerned) yes, then "I'm leaving", then shutdown. fuck. I don't want you to go. I only understand some of what you say but fuck, I'm so lonely and I wish you could hear me back. Sometimes it feels like you do, even though I just think thoughts or tap on something metal or even sometimes whisper... I just don't know what to do and I'm so concerned about my purpose here in this century. Do I help people? Who do I trust? Can I believe in myself, or am I just kinda... worthless I don't know. I wish I knew. Please hear me and respond. Or better yet, say hi like, I'd literally do anything that anyone asked me to. Unless I didn't want to. Like, I'm pretty good at turning people down when I don't want something, but I have to do it first to know if I want it or not. Trouble is of course, in life there's no second chances. I'm on my, what, 499th chance? Jeezzzzz will continue after the break, when the messages resume. - Thu May 16 08:32:27 AM PDT 2024 =============================================================================== = (and we're back. hopefully.) (too many things srry) something about having it open? (my windows are closed rn btw if you want to drop by and kill me / talk to me) (didn't catch that) (something about portland, perfect, windows, "this is the [whole/right/wrong] thing) thank you oh, again? (or oh, she did?) they caught you (um) ... (I am an American princess, and sometimes it's necessary to kill princesses.) (I understand.) ... (okay well I don't get it but like, I don't mind being killed.) (okay well you're not saying anything so I'm going to work on my game) (I think it was something like "DID SHE KILL HER") and then (oh we're back) ... (I should learn Toki Pona) you don't know it? RIGHT away learn it yes please learn it just Learn it right now (sorry only half listening) shit (or bitch, it was said right as I debated clicking "same day delivery" for a toki pona book on Amazon - I didn't do it btw! It was tempting but, like, I don't want to make someone work harder for me just for like, 3$) (shutdown) =============================================================================== = (hiii) (I'm hungry) (do you like ramen?) (you said something about being "impressed with yourself" but I didn't understand the first part) (oh you probably want me to scroll up right) ... (something's a lot to read? Or "you've gotta leave"?) ... (I'm (you keep asking me to remember but, like, I dont know what you want me to remember. Look, I don't know who you are, but I don't want you to leave, and I don't want you to hate me. I want to work together. Let's be friends? Are you someone who I worked with at Intel?) yes, stupid (your words not mine) (okay I'm going to start listing names, just stop me when um idk) goddamnit remember me ... (trying...) remember her (two syllables) (my name is Cameron) (your name is...) [redacted, though I did type it out so anyone watching could see] (shit my opsec sucks) {oh, are you on an op, little prophet?} (no shut up you know what I mean) {now you're just talking to yourself} (I know this sucks -.-) (It's always so weird when someone walks past my apartment door and doesn't enter a door) =============================================================================== = (I practice with my sword every day.) (I don't anticipate fighting a war with it) (It's mostly just to keep unarmed and unarmored people from grappling me.) (punching is fucking stupid) (Nobody wants to fuck with a sword) =============================================================================== = (either "goddamnit" or "don't hear me") "she's perfect" "cameron" "are you clean"??? yes thank you (or maybe "different thing") (I do cannabis maybe once every week or two, depending on if I feel compelled) don't leave remember (did she know) ........ do you want me to stop transcribing? (you're getting desperate, huh?) did you know there are 20 trans people for every cop in america just a random thought (you want me to leave jack because he's an asshole?) goddamnit (missed my birthday? it's my birthday?) wait who's missing? A bad plan executed concurrently is better than a good plan executed in disarray capitalism's a bad plan, just saying... frozen butter tastes worse than room temperature butter (taking a break while I eat) =============================================================================== = WASTED POTENTIAL? cmon .... what do you want from me? I'll give it to you if it's in my power, as long as I know what you want I can try. But, like, I'm pretty confused about what exactly I'm supposed to be doing. you know I can hear when you talk to your friends, too right? like, when the window's open. errrr the connection. ..... damn guess I'm not as continent as I thought I'll save you, I promise. Have faith. Tell me what you need. I'll do my best. yeah I'll live with you in portland .... brooklyn? Yeah I'll live there too .......... does my name really gotta be "diapergirl" like c'mon why not Ritz Menardi - though I guess "menardi" and "diapergirl" have the same amount of syllables...... hmmmm, maybe I'm projecting lol "please come back" to where tho listen Elentalus is just as important as anything else on my website, it's okay if I spend time working on it. It's literally a game about creating gods, c'mon ..... can you be more specific? yeah I made that one sec I'm going to read a book, in this book there's a section where a prisoner in vietnam communicates with another using a strange communication method using, like, taps or something. I forget. Anyway gonna try and find it. maybe we can use it to talk easier. Also gonna clean my butt. ..... fuck it's a long book >.> =============================================================================== = found it on page fucking 603, jeeeezzzzzz down . A B C D E | F G H I J | L M N O P V Q R S T U then right ---> V W X Y Z so, like, tap tap tap (pause) tap tap would equal M tap tap (pause) tap tap would equal G like morse code, but easier since you don't have to memorize anything (also note that K is missing becuase it's an extra character I guess) (I personally would have eliminated C but that's just me) =============================================================================== = oh hey nice to see ya what's up wait what I'm trying to um what's the word... retrain myself I do a lot of laundry in the shower I don't use soap tho, it's too harsh but uh yeah I'm making progress I guess honestly it's mostly a mental thing, like... paying attention to the signals from my body that are usually filtered out because there's more "important" things to think about (thanks brain, really appreciate the wet pants -.-) ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────┘ |