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Similar to Poem 1069 │ Page 1 of 2 │ Poems 1-88
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-> file: fediverse/1084
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║ I want to clarify two things in this song I wrote a while ago - when I say │
║ "life isn't meant, to be enjoyed, so... what's the point in trying at all? - │
║ Well, what's the point in giving up?" I was trying to say "hedonism isn't the │
║ point of life" but I realize now upon listening to it for the first time since │
║ writing it [liar lmao] that what it could be interpreted as is "everything │
║ sucks and it will always suck, so face the future with tenacity" or whatever. │
║ And that's like, not wrong, but also it's not the whole point, which is that we │
║ shouldn't strive for contentment unless we're healing. │
║ │
║ also I say "never trust a guru" but I'd like to expand that to "never trust │
║ your heroes" because they'll always disappoint you. But what is a hero if not │
║ hope given form? Trust in the hope, not the person holding it at that moment. │
║ You never know, maybe they'll get blown up by an artillery shell or maybe │
║ they'll betray you or maybe they'll get bored or distracted or whatever. Never │
║ trust your heroes, trust the inspiration. │
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-> file: fediverse/1084
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║ I want to clarify two things in this song I wrote a while ago - when I say │
║ "life isn't meant, to be enjoyed, so... what's the point in trying at all? - │
║ Well, what's the point in giving up?" I was trying to say "hedonism isn't the │
║ point of life" but I realize now upon listening to it for the first time since │
║ writing it [liar lmao] that what it could be interpreted as is "everything │
║ sucks and it will always suck, so face the future with tenacity" or whatever. │
║ And that's like, not wrong, but also it's not the whole point, which is that we │
║ shouldn't strive for contentment unless we're healing. │
║ │
║ also I say "never trust a guru" but I'd like to expand that to "never trust │
║ your heroes" because they'll always disappoint you. But what is a hero if not │
║ hope given form? Trust in the hope, not the person holding it at that moment. │
║ You never know, maybe they'll get blown up by an artillery shell or maybe │
║ they'll betray you or maybe they'll get bored or distracted or whatever. Never │
║ trust your heroes, trust the inspiration. │
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"I love you, I trust you, I believe you, I just don't understand you, so I
can't do what you do"
great. that's alright. I get it. re-orient, focus on what's important.
wear many hats and you'll do many things. just don't forget to sleep every once
in a while.
the more you can do in a life the more valued it becomes, so do the right thing
and keep getting better.
human lives are measured not in bodyweight, but in mystery. The divine can't
understand benevolence, nor can the devils understand the desire to inflict
suffering. So they ponder and pontificate as they watch humans wander and
magnificate.
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one side: "it's most important to be yourself"
the other: "it's most important to be your best"
neither of them is wrong. duh. use your head. people all agree on wisdom, so...
share that.
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-> file: messages/761
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"the song of your heart" is just the assignment of your life-role. Listen to
it. Obey it. Use it.
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never stop learning
be yourself, but... recognize when "yourself" could be improved
and improve that, over time, when you learn about why you are flawed, and how
to become better
and when you are improved, relish yourself, savor your accomplishments, cherish
your heart, and honor those who helped you
be yourself
never stop
but do that which improves you
never stop learning
never stop being
you can get there, wherever there is, but know that what lies between is more
important than what is on the other side.
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you always think you want something, but then you don't, because expectations
are not reality, and you were just addicted to the feeling of hope.
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│ CW: │
│ scary-absurdist-magic-symbolism-discipline-honor-dedication-virtue-safehavens-meditation-[presupposed │
│ destinations]-hypnosis-[clarity of purpose]-[something about how turntables turn │
│ or something] │
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@user-521
Reminds me of something I wrote last Tuesday.
All things are defined in waves, and if darkness is all around you then light
is sure to find you. Perseverance and fortitude is what avails you, when you've
found yourself in the house of a witch. Or a pleasuredome. Or hell. Or any
other place where positives (peak of the wave) lures you to negatives
(damnation, discorporation, sublimination, de-saturation, dessication, etc)
You'll know it when you see it. I'm not talking about joy like you'd find from
picking a beautiful flower or sharing a gift with another. This is the
seductive kind, the kind that cuts straight to your soul. Be constant, be
aware, know your surroundings, and trust that your heart is what delivers you.
"with mind as my guide I let will lead my stride and step forth out in-to my
own future"
![[not enough characters for the entire text of what follows, so I've attached two pictures, each the same visually but with different descriptions, to enable me to work-around the text limit that Mastodon imposes on picture descriptions. Here is the 1st text...]: Hello, I am a witch. There's more than one kind of witch, but I promise that I'm the kind you'd like to have around. There's another kind, however, that is unlike me in kind but I think you'll find is just as rare, and just as tempestuous. I like to think I am good aligned, perhaps not "good" as in "capable" but "good" as in "benevolent" and "perhaps" as in "unknowable" and "but" as in "desired" and "desired" as in "what I work toward because it's the right thing to do" and "work toward" as in "realized according to the effects of my actions not just by my intentions" The other kind of witch is the kind that hurts people. There are many reasons why you might find yourself in the house of such a witch, but all of them are caused by your desire. Take care in the house of a witch such as this, and stay no longer than your time allows. If you find what you're looking for, get out. If you're almost out of time, get out. If you lost something, find it, and then get out. If you run out of time, and things start to "smear", yell out loud your social security number. If someone's trying to save you, it'll help them know where to put you when you are returned to your body. [not enough characters, check other picture]](../media/fb91427929fb8482.png "[not enough characters for the entire text of what follows, so I've attached two pictures, each the same visually but with different descriptions, to enable me to work-around the text limit that Mastodon imposes on picture descriptions. Here is the 1st text...]: Hello, I am a witch. There's more than one kind of witch, but I promise that I'm the kind you'd like to have around. There's another kind, however, that is unlike me in kind but I think you'll find is just as rare, and just as tempestuous. I like to think I am good aligned, perhaps not \"good\" as in \"capable\" but \"good\" as in \"benevolent\" and \"perhaps\" as in \"unknowable\" and \"but\" as in \"desired\" and \"desired\" as in \"what I work toward because it's the right thing to do\" and \"work toward\" as in \"realized according to the effects of my actions not just by my intentions\" The other kind of witch is the kind that hurts people. There are many reasons why you might find yourself in the house of such a witch, but all of them are caused by your desire. Take care in the house of a witch such as this, and stay no longer than your time allows. If you find what you're looking for, get out. If you're almost out of time, get out. If you lost something, find it, and then get out. If you run out of time, and things start to \"smear\", yell out loud your social security number. If someone's trying to save you, it'll help them know where to put you when you are returned to your body. [not enough characters, check other picture]")
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the difference between a martyr and a suicide is the scale of affection felt by
the subject. and if not felt, then recieved. and if not recieved, then
projected toward. the two are one and the same, but one can make an impact
while the other is just another tuesday.
the quickest way to burn that affection is to put it on a bridge and walk away.
did you know that everything small is just a smallish version of something big?
what do you want? is desire a factor in your decision making, or are you under
the pretense of possessing free will? they are mutually exclusive, though it
may seem impossible.
the quickest way to inconspicuoity is to proclaim yourself as god, and then
make no effort whatsoever to proving that claim. in innocuity there is safety,
and with safety comes the solitude necessary to think and develop. belief
comes from within, because everything small is just a smallish version of
something big.
create the belief you desire, and harbor no doubts - they are anathemity to
obscuriousness. the quickest way to find the correct answer on the internet is
to post an incorrect solution - any question requires an investment of time to
answer, but correcting a peer is less an investment and more a hobby for most.
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people don't like relying on others. it somehow feels more... personal, than
institutional. and some people just wanna focus on themselves. hence why a
solid structure is required.
but oh dang on the other end there's these more fluid individuals, who can
dance as whoever they're on.
in doing so, they are the opposite of those who crave structure. They're maybe
considered a bit more chaotic, but, like, chaotic as a rainstorm, not chaotic
as a flood.
so they are not fundamentally bad, which means they are good. because all
things that are not bad, are necessarily good. life is defined by averages, and
the painful spikes of our sharpest intentions. yet this [crucible/crusade] is
not our ultimate expression, for once it's done it's done. as such, trauma, but
alas what can you do but move on. time, in the past, reaches out for the
present, yet so too does a man reach out for an apple, from a tree, which rests
on his hand for a moment.
how beautiful, how strange, this life we've all arranged? It's beautifu
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ye who it is nature to fight take heart - we will bear your harshest of
burdens. As best as we can, we keep stillness at hand, focusing on life and
renewal. In all of it's forms, we are not born out of acorns, instead we are
imprinted upon one another. A life lived well is all that is required from you,
and does it not fulfill your expectations? Why seek power over others if not to
direct and support them to something much bolder and aggranding? (grand but
pronounced weird)
the only purpose in the pursuit of power is a perfectly prepared penance
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║ if you don't respect - wait hang on thats not what I was going to say - okay │
║ here goes: the perspective of others then you are working against them. why │
║ bother contestation when cooperation could work best? problem is, of course, │
║ the other side can't be trusted. that's just how it goes, a prisoner's │
║ dillemna, or rather "dilemma" as they spell it over there. wait hang on that's │
║ not what I was going to say - oh yeah - if you do something in a place where │
║ it's not expected then it stands out as a statistical anomaly that can be │
║ viewed and detected. which is why it's imporant to always be true to yourself │
║ and virtuous. because your "self" is aligned to the future, a place of warmth │
║ and compassion, honesty and deliberation. [direct action on a larger than │
║ personal scale] │
║ │
║ what was I saying oh yeah if you mess with fate, it can change things a bit. │
║ all you'd need is the diffusion of the strands, and then it's a bigger task to │
║ undo them. like... dancing, when you're really into it. or like swimming with │
║ ripples, exc │
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@user-1797
hey I dont disagree that what you're describing is a common outcome, but if it
works for them then I consider that a success.
I however, am different, I do believe in my heart that I am my own thing, and
thats as close to enlightenment as I can imagine.
are we not all making things up as we go? every moment of life is new, there is
nothing that is not unique about every precious moment you experience.
therefore, I do believe that rigid adherence to orthodoxy (like a bible) is
opposed to our purpose here.
"I think, therefore I am" implies that original thought is our true purpose.
I believe we are here to express our true nature. To learn and apply lessons,
to teach the young, and to build a strong and stable world built on collective
kindness and trust.
All knowledge is derived from the insights gained from standing on the
shoulders of our ancestors.
Humans crave novelty. Resisting that isn't virtuous. If god is made in our
image, then I do believe that god would crave novelty as well.
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sometimes your best intuitions don't manage to manifest the goal you've been
pursuing. that's okay, it just means you need a different approach.
hopefully, with experience, you've had the chance to continually pay attention.
Thus, improve on things that were originally conceived of as concessions.
much better, I find, to point your idea of "truth" toward what you believe in,
rather than what you've been working with. Such an approach allows for
continual re-examination, justified by thoroughly moral and ethical conclusions
that you hold to be true.
like, a form of reverse legalism, where the emotions compel while the law tells
the tale.
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to be "rich" is to have more than another.
if you are happy, they are happiness poor.
if you have community, they are alone.
if you have serenity, they are chaotic.
I am rich in very little but fire in my soul.
I have enough in most cases, but I still struggle to pay rent.
I am warmed by the pearl my swirling darkness has coalesced into. It nourishes
me and keeps me aligned.
Never forget your purpose and your truth. It will not abandon you, so long as
you do so too.
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never trust your heroes
for they will always let you down. A hero is just a person, after all, and if
you treat them as an ideal then they will disappoint you.
give tasks to people, not ideals.
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Only the good die young, and I'm 29
It can't be much longer, can it? What do you want from me? Must I prove myself,
or am I just fated to be as I am?
Every lesson I've learned pales in comparison to the lessons presented to me,
but still I ponder. I've grown myself into a corner, and now I am empty.
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there's no such thing as me
all I am is where the wind takes me
I am just a person, and I do all that I can
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"are you helping or hurting?"
I'm speaking. I'm sorry. Some works hurt some and help others.
Honesty and being true to yourself is important, but there's a time and place
for some words.
I'm kinda bad with timing, if you couldn't tell...
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it's okay to be a little evil sometimes
all things are defined in waves, and your highest peaks are nothing without low
valleys to accompany them. Balance arises naturally from the contest of these
two natures, and, well, you're gonna figure it out anyway no matter what I say
so why bother teehee
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Trust me, but don't depend on me. I will let you down, for I am just a person,
and people pin their hopes upon people and are defeated when they fall.
Trust, but verify. Trust, do not depend.
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ever since I left home I've felt in danger.
constant, everpresent.
I opposed the current regime, democrat or republican, but I only sorta knew
what I stood for
I thought it was liberal democracy
then social democracy
then free market controlled economy
then disestablished federations of communal autonomies
(this is when I started producing my own works)
now it's some semblance of a ratio'd and innovation incentivizing crypto
monarchy of the masses?
bah, whatever. that's just how I'd most like to live.
Reality is about solving problems. What's your problem? here's how to solve it.
Please, begin again.
gah. fine.
start from the beginning I guess. You know, I've never read my own work? I
sometimes skim through bits and pieces, but I don't go back and review it. Not
regularly. I'm sure there are vast portions that I've never read after the
first couple times I saw it while writing it.
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doom is like sand thrown on a fire.
don't spread it unless you are intentional about it. sometimes it's good to
smother fires. other times it's cathartic. that's okay.
but keep in mind the future goals. where are we trying to get to in the near
future? work towards that. your emotions are fuel, not despair to wallow in.
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in peacetime, one may live as they define. they can be kooky and precious and
beautiful and kind. sometimes, though, that opportunity is taken away, and
suddenly life fades from view and all you are left with is perfect clarity.
I'd like to clarify why I feel the way I do about the situation at hand.
there are three reasons, so I think I'll put them in five posts, including this
one.
[1/5]
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me: i write gud
also me:
"in the garden of even, where all populations were balanced, there was no need
for hatred - why hate, when you know that bloodshed was surely not for sport?
why hate, when your life was won or lost in proportion to the calculation that
nature determined to be the result of your struggle, to determine which
survivor was most fittest?"
WHICH IS IT, HUH? you can do better, self, please be better, it's better to be
better, you refuse to respect yourself and then you wonder why you feel so
dejected and wretched.
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infinite dedication implies stagnation, don't be so quick to trust.
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that feeling i get, when nobody's watching.
is sorta similar to the feeling i get when somebody's watching.
could it be, that someone could percieve without being seen?
like... an invisibility cloak. or the shroud that protects young children.
have you ever been hunted? or are you just eager prey?
the eyes that are on you are blind to what you won't do, so cherish that love
and restart
from mine to thine we realize we are one kind. one mind, one kind, to be is not
to be, now we can see what's our existence.
good versus evil seems like a conflict to me, and wouldn't ya know it there's
conflict all over. it's easy to condemn your opponent to the starkest of
contrasts, but find in your heart a feeling that might last.
what purpose has conviction
when it leads to destruction
is it not better to lead to the last?
bright, shining, illustrious examples
that inspire and
================================================================================
those feelings you hear? the things that keep you up at night?
they're not coming from your ears. they're all in your mind.
stay present and you'll hear none,
but blink and then there's some,
you better believe in your heart.
morality is a battle within the soul of each of us -
the call of adventure versus lust.
think about it. a bunch of apes all hanging out -
they're conquered the world, they have nothing to fear -
what would they do but fuck?
that, or exploration - fighting against monsters and foreign invasions.
it makes sense that they'd be binary - humans truly are.
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nobody ever tells me to stop, they just tell me to relax. to take care of
myself. to be whole and healthy. that kind of thing...
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hey, listen, I'm here at this point in life just the same as you. who cares,
right? like. nobody wants to see your personal development. You don't have to
prove yourself. Like... why would you care so much about what other people (who
you don't even know) care about what you do? like... it's fine. just... be.
you can get better if you want, but only if you want. There's no reason to be
so concerned about what other people thingc. Just, identify what and who you
are, and then be the best what and who that you are. Thats really all there is
to it.
and yeah. It's totally unfair that some people get an easier shot at "being who
and what they are"
that's privilege, and that's stupid.
okay, sure, maybe we should conceptualize how to adapt to specific situations
when resources are limited
but like... it should be something you consent to - like "no thanks I don't
need the rocket launchers on this mis==sion==
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if your life's folly was purely based on your desire to create a following,
you'd try harder.
but it's not hard. you just have to be yourself.
it's hard to be yourself! what if you have other selves??
I have three. I'm a trinity. gee isn't it nice to know multiplicity?
hence, the loss of self, the slowly timededly decompilation -- stack overflow --
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@user-889
Don't give up!
At least... not forever.
It's okay to take a breath every once in a while
It's okay to lie down and cry
The only way away from those feelings is through. They've enveloped you. You
need to swallow them whole, like a sponge soaking up dirt[y water]
the only thing you need to think about is what's around you. It's okay to be
alone for a moment, it's the best time to feel.
Remember, feeling is how you know the world! It's your power, to feel, and I
know it's hard. Everyone has different powers, but yours is this.
You'll be okay, I know it
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life is so much more than following your rules and fulfilling your obligations
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people gravitate toward other people who are in different situations but who
feel the same.
it's not always a bad thing to "talk past each other" - sometimes you just want
to say how you feel.
then again, if nobody can understand wtf you're talking about, then surely you
are lost.
all good ideas come at the cost of the second-most-favorable-option.
all good ideas come at the cost of the current destination.
[current, flawed,]
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-> file: fediverse/6239
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│ CW: death-mentioned │
└──────────────────────┘
somehow that came out wrong - I meant when you die, suddenly you stop growing
and you are who you be. forever, alegacy.
I'd rather be awake and alive, thank you very much. I think I'm worth more as
such. Plus it's nice, to me? to be unafraid and free? if you'd feed a cat,
you'd shelter a humon. oh, you want me to work like a rat. ah well I'll wander
through this maze, with my head all in a daze, we'll see what I can still see
tomorrow.
... I'd rather not be who I don't actively want to be, I think the more correct
way of saying it. I mispronounced. I misspoke. Sorry it's just hard for me. my
cats meowing at me.
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-> file: fediverse/3434
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┌─────────────────────────┐
│ CW: mental-health-minus │
└─────────────────────────┘
me: "I don't care what anyone thinks as long as I'm a force for good"
also me: "if anyone doesn't like me ever I'll throw myself off a bridge"
also me: "hey watch this" dissolves into a puddle of acid
also me: "the most important thing is to be good and learn lessons" what
lessons are you learning from this post? "um. that I shouldn't?" ... shouldn't
learn? "no, shouldn't post" -.-
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-> file: messages/155
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You care too much about what other people think of you. Remember the dream,
remember the horseflesh, the miles of trash, the doctors probing cheeks, the
game of thrown baseballs and sad muppets in popcorn, remember the spirit guide,
remember how you we're distracted by human. Be not afraid, follow.
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listen, judges are useful character moralities, but they don't have to be the
only ones to decide things.
I mean, if they disagree, then let the one who cares the most about it have the
decision-making power.
if you do this equally for everything, then everyone will get what they want.
so, like, if you care about something, then believe in it.
if it's truly good, then more people will come to it, and it'll naturally
extinguish (with care and love) the least favored approach, which... honestly
now that I think of it is not such a good approach either.
the reason I say that is because it's good to be multi-faceted, and to have
general flows and rough surfaces.
These are places people can hold onto you, the times when you're trying your
mostest.
y'know, your tough patches. the things that are difficult in your life.
the stuff you're working on can push you forward,
if you only had someone to play catch with.
or like, send letters to.
or shared encryption keys.
I don't know anyone. Well, maybe o
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-> file: fediverse/626
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trust that god is working through you. Or if you're not religious, fate
personified - like, the muses, from that Hercules cartoon when you were a kid.
could also do aliens who can see the future, or angels and demons, or spirits
of the mountain and sand, or perhaps THAT particular mountain, or THAT
particular pile of sand, or heck even just every single interaction you ever
engage in. Thus, the reversed history of mythology brings you to the inevitable
conclusion:
that all interactions are imagined
and what follows from that?
all perception is imagined
and from that?
all of reality is imagined
and from that?
you are imagination
no more, no less
you are the imagined creation of ultimate totality - the final and most
complete expression of a particular idea, mechanic, or communication. All these
totalities are present in ye, so take heart! Your life is just about to start.
What a beauty, what mirth! That you have brought here unto this earth. Take
just a moment, and love who you aren't - and tomorro
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it's good to be ethical,
it's good to be kind,
but there will always be assholes,
and sometimes you're not having a good time
it's okay
it's fine
assholes deserve life
times deserve others to be kind
life is not always interesting
and that's often by design
the moments of clarity,
the moments of heart,
these are what define you
and display your own spark.
trust in yourself.
be kind to one another.
you are braver than you know,
and always a bit wiser.
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-> file: fediverse/1298
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┌─────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: violence-politics-mentioned │
└─────────────────────────────────────┘
@user-928 @user-929 @user-930
the sharper you are in your beliefs the deeper your passion may cut. Those
judgemental purists can be useful, just as the more flexible and compassionate
people can be. "the enemy of my enemy is my friend" kinda deal... So if you
meet one, point them at their foes [your foes] and say "I'll handle the rest,
I'll get everyone on board, you're right that we aren't 'pure' as you say, but
with time perhaps we'll learn from each other"
two allies is better than one is better than none.
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-> file: messages/419
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The next time you share a meal with family, or perhaps a game with a friend
online, or maybe even a coffee with a stranger, or a smile with a person
walking down the path, or maybe a church choir as you rejoice in unison - the
next time you do one of these things, define the path that your reality takes
through your actions. Compel yourself to have a good time, without ignoring the
input of those around you. Bring them to your level, and see what kind of world
"around you" becomes.
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you're good enough
your efforts are worth it
you are valid
you are loved
trust yourself, be honest with others, and find reasons to be affectionate to
others
breathe in, breathe out, and remember: everybody poops. How absurd. How silly.
Can you really take anyone seriously if you imagine them pooping? I know I
can't. Maybe that's juvenile, but it works for me so
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-> file: fediverse/4540
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most people in the world are dumb as a bag of bricks
but that's okay, I still love them, and so should you.
everyone I hang out with is sharp as a tack
and I love them still, for I don't have a preference for blunt objects.
some people don't feel emotions
I think they're just depressed
some people can't stop
won't stop, I say.
really as long as they follow their heart and sing a tune that is true
I think they're alright.
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@user-95
there is nothing within that is scarier than what is without.
just like being in the dark at night, what's without remains hidden until it's
coming for you in the night to drag you out and shoot you in the street like a
dog.
but fear is the greatest enemy, that which gives them power to do such things.
be not afraid, and you can resist all that you might.
within, there is trauma - that needs healing
without, there are villains - they need fighting
trauma isn't scary. the hard part happened already. now you just need to heal,
which takes focused growth, the same way a body grows a scab over a wound while
it heals.
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-> file: messages/903
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It's better to cry when sad than to sing a life with a heartful of tears
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-> file: fediverse/3936
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you shouldn't trust me because I'll let you down.
I would never betray you. But when tasked with my own actions and my own
agency, I never make the right choice.
Like a rabbit who can always find their way home, I am drawn, almost
gravitically, to the path before me, a path which seems to avoid anything
resolute.
alas.
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-> file: messages/1474
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"hey, will you promise never to tell this to anyone?"
If I say yes... I won't remember what you're about to say. It'll get excused
from my memory because it resets to what they want it to be every night.
Something something retro causality - to ensure that I never lie, the future
corrects for me. Fake it until you make it. I'm trying to use fewer value
judgements but perfect is hard.
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-> file: messages/330
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The purpose of life is to read, and to find the answer in the words of your
fellow man. Just remember, the map is not the territory. Don't forget to live,
too.
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-> file: fediverse/4788
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if there's a phone number on something, find someone else who wants it instead
of calling it. doh. extra degrees of separation.
if you think you know someone who wants something, take it when offered.
opportunists try and find the most valuable thing, but the truth is they're all
just as valuable and just as worthless in the right context. something that's
valuable to you is worthless to me, and something worthless to you is valuable
to me.
everything's worth less once you sit on it for a while... don't be dumb, keep
track of what's still going on, but also keep your head down. unlike me, who's
a face, looking forward so you don't have to.
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never trust your heroes
they are not meant to be trusted. but they are still valuable and important.
learn from them, apply what you can, and cherish the best parts of them when
they inevitably fall and let you down.
if they betray you, fucking burn them. if they let you down, accept their
apology but don't give them responsibility until you can trust them again.
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-> file: fediverse/2994
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┌────────────────────────┐
│ CW: cannabis-mentioned │
└────────────────────────┘
"do as I say, not as I do"
because the philosophy I follow is too hard
and you don't have to do so much
(says the college drop-out (4 times I might add) who can't stop getting stoned
and psycherwauling instead of applying herself toward something useful)
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-> file: fediverse/5755
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┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: organized-religion-mentioned-capitalism-mentioned │
└───────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
the reason I hide and sleep so much is because I can't tell if I'm helping or
hurting.
plus, I sincerely do NOT want it to be about me.
the reason I type so much is because I can't tell if what I'm saying needs to
be said
so I go with the safe option of typing. Let the editors figure it out. Jesus
had disciples, didn't he? I bet they cut out most of his sermons or whatever.
Idk, I never read the bible, I'm not allowed to taint my perspective with more
than cursory analysis of religious texts.
I don't want it to be about me, but, I have a lot to offer if you meet me on my
terms.
"don't say that!" listen... listen
"hear me" say the gods, "believe me" says the prophet, "be near me" says the
city parks, "fear me" says the corrupt
you can only kill a spirit when it's convinced there's no way to survive. It
must be boxed in, and the box must shrink. Like that scene at the end of
Adventure Time.
capitalism will only perish if it is impossible for it to exist
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I know I'm not supposed to write here because I'm trying to end things and
start new things or whatever. But whatever. I just want to say this: at all
times, perfection is expected. If ever you fail or falter, this reflects a
critical weakness or flaw in your character and soul. You are worthless if you
are flawed. Yet all the good things done by you, the things you do well, that
help people, that benefit those you care about or the principles you believe
in, these are ignored, delegitimized, or disregarded as unimportant. You are
worthless, this is a given, and there will be a reason provided as to why.
Accept this fate or return your crown to the treasury, where it shall await
someone worthy.
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-> file: fediverse/4255
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I think a lot of my problems would be solved if I could internalize the
thought/feeling of telling yourself "stay focused"
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I don't know about you, but "trying my hardest" involves giving up sometimes.
How else are you to know your limits if you don't test your boundaries? And,
after finding that there's nowhere else for you to go, you turn around and
"give up", until you're ready for your next expedition.
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-> file: fediverse/1713
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┌───────────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: divination, tarot │
└───────────────────────────┘
@user-1071
like a king who dictates on high, the taller the chair the farther the fall.
how simple is it, when everyone trusts you, to betray the wishes for direction
they grant upon you. By leveraging their direction to forward your own ends,
you are depriving them of the liberty to choose their own ends.
how cruel is it! to be the reason for distrust! alas, who can you go to for
guidance if not anybody you trust?
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I know it's not like that but I'm intentionally framing it that way to make a
point about societal exclusion.
nobody should be excluded.
nobody should have to harm their friends to come by making them sacrifice their
[time/labor/paycheck] in order to bring them along.
we live in a post scarcity society that insists on commodification of everything
we don't have to. A better world is within reach. It sits there, twinkling like
asbestos resting at the base of a snowglobe, while we search and ponder and
endlessly analyze how society sucks.
there is nothing left to analyze. all that we need is to put our hands to a
task and our feet to grass.
the rest will come, and it'll come easier with time and focused attention.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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society optimizes us to be good at rules, school, work.
How cruel.
I can't hold a job steady. my society optimizes away from me. Now, I am left
brutal in the dark. Where is my spark? I keep it sheltered here in my heart.
Come and find me? Please, somewhere hereafter come save me? I'll be here for a
[orbiting spark, but pronounced momentary chart]
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-> file: fediverse/3741
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you can only be yourself once, and it happens while you're alive.
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-> file: messages/1088
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All angels are devils too, and all devils are angels.
any interactions with them will have one meaning to you, and another to
everyone else.
tread carefully, find meaning, and sacrifice your affections carefully. Just,
know that all truth is internally derived. The angels and demoons simply let
you see it clearly. Like the stage upon which your heart performs for the
audience of your soul, or the background characters you walk past at Target.
Have faith in each other. Have faith in yourself. Understand that any harms
caused between friends of love are simply fuel for each other's bonfire. Some
fires turn too bright, let them simmer. Some fires burn too hot, let the coals
grow dimmer. Someday, together, you will forge steel.
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-> file: fediverse/4810
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I can type my thoughts 1000x more coherently than I can speak them. Hence why I
post here.
feels useless to speak 1on1 - feels insular to speak to a group. Hence why I
speak here, which is totally public that anyone might see, and somehow I feel
so much more productive engaging in an endless conversation with myself.
you can't win a war by walking in circles...
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-> file: fediverse/4209
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║ ┌──────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: pol │ │
║ └──────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ the people who are farthest into a belief (political or otherwise) they tend to │
║ believe they are the "vanguard" or "leaders" of such a movement. │
║ │
║ but that isn't necessarily so. Perhaps it is those who have more resources, │
║ those who are most prepared and ready to go? sometimes you're distracted, │
║ sometimes ignor-ed. │
║ │
║ just being most ardent of belief doesn't necessarily mean that you are the │
║ strongest. The quickest. The wittiest. The most prepared. The most capable. The │
║ most connected. The most guided. The clearest choice, nor the only option. │
║ │
║ It just means that you are truest in your heart, and that others should look to │
║ you, who are an expert in what you are, for guidance on topics such as │
║ "defeating fascism" or "unlearning capitalist patriarchy" or "how to identify │
║ certain types of bees" or whatever totally random specialty you have. │
║ │
║ ... in the morning, you'll look back on the sins of the past night and think │
║ "wow that was wild, sure glad I'm a different person now. Gotta start cleaning. │
║ Get things done" │
╟─────────┐ ┌───────────┤
║ similar │ chronological │ different │
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-> file: fediverse/3310
image.png
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I build myself up on my own.
I spend myself on work.
To move forward, we must go back
("to monke?") no to babe ("or to pile-of-rocks") yeah sometimes my spirit
animal is a boulder
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-> file: fediverse/5421
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║ thriving, as a concept, is different for everyone. But typically it means │
║ developing a route to access the growth and experiences that they believe they │
║ need in order to become the person they want to be. │
║ │
║ do you want to be a socialite? then perhaps you should try and sail around the │
║ atlantic and make as many friends as you can. │
║ │
║ do you want to be a blacksmith? then perhaps you should collect metal from the │
║ world and safeguard it, so that you might melt it down if you ever had the │
║ capability / need. │
║ │
║ do you want to program computers? spend time at the library until you know how. │
║ │
║ do you want to change the world? then think about what you need in order to do │
║ so, and affect a plan to achieve those goals. This mindset should be promoted │
║ for all moments of individual choice. │
║ │
║ do you want to raise a family? to ride horses all day? to sit on the couch some │
║ days, to climb mountains on others? what can life offer to you, and how can you │
║ be enabled in seeking your goals? │
║ │
║ these are needs that people have. Actualizatio │
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║ similar │ chronological │ different │
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-> file: messages/162
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Life is beautiful, but it's selfish to live it.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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-> file: fediverse/4914
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║ what if I just sat around and played video games all day │
║ │
║ life is so much more beautiful, but, well, life just seems to be mostly pyrite, │
║ and I'm the fool │
║ │
║ nothing wrong with being foolish. │
║ │
║ once... │
║ │
║ I kinda like being blissful tho. why does it have to end? can I have my │
║ peaceful life back? │
║ │
║ gotta move at the end of the month. I really liked living here. │
║ │
║ [ritz you've never been peaceful. your life is a constant battle of wills │
║ between those who would compel you to do things for them and your desire to │
║ design and be pretty like a flower. no matter what, you lose, so just handle it │
║ please. don't be so whiny. or rather I should say "stop whining" and just be │
║ cool] │
║ │
║ ahhhhhhh you go on Mastodon and it feels like we're winning and that's ending │
║ the world, you go on Reddit and it feels like we're losing and that's ending │
║ the world, you go on Facebook and everything feels fine like the world isn't │
║ ending you just stopped being part of it, and if you go on ephemeren it feels │
║ like being battered in the mind, damnit... │
╟─────────┐ ┌───────────┤
║ similar │ chronological │ different │
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-> file: fediverse/2390
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@shiri
Yeah. Like, if you feel so powerless or hopeless that your impulse is to flee,
why not take a chance at redirecting that energy. Point it toward a problem
that needs doing.
You can do whatever you want. That's what it means to be free. You can be
whoever you want to be, that's the meaning of liberty. If you don't have any
ideas, come to me and I'll lend you a hand.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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-> file: fediverse/5744
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┌───────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: politics-mentioned-spirituality-mentioned │
└───────────────────────────────────────────────┘
don't wanna rush ya'll but every day that goes by they remove
"enemy-of-my-enemy"s from the equation.
oh, hang on you're just a cute computer nerd. Nevermind, go back to programming
or writing fanfiction or sleeping like a cute cat! Thanks for letting me
CORRUPT YOUR SPACE AND VIOLATE YOUR BOUNDARIES OF CONTENTMENT AND EMOTIONAL
SAFETY whoa sorry dunno where that came from I, uh, think I need to do evil
every time I make something important? It's like, a cosmic balance kind of
thing. I notice that after I write a banger poem or something I always end up
doing something evil afterwards like snapping at my girlfriend or letting
someone down or even just accidentally breaking one of my things. why why why
does it have to be that way? why why why am I so confusing of the way
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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-> file: fediverse/5730
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part of being family with someone is being part of their lives.
what if like... a whole group of people was your family?
"workplace dynamics" yeah sure that'll generate love
I'm not here to make moments. I'm trying to get through day-to-day.
the rich, yet impoverished.
the sensation, that feeling of betrayal, the moment when you realize some
people just don't care about other people's troubles and trials.
scary... I'm here to do my part, accomplish my duty, and help wherever I can.
I'll agree to anything if you tell me the whole strategy and it aligns with my
goals and designs.
if you doubt those goals, I can surely help thee remember.
everything is logically rooted in love,
nothing's out of place or a mystery.
everything I've thought of, everything I had the grace to write down, all of
these things drift behind me like a placquard explaining my deeds and needs.
"that was her idea" ok great now go and use it.
this fall is fast ahead, looking forward to the scene-films. it's too hot
inside of a bed
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-> file: fediverse/1424
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the devil shows you the plan, and then prevents all others from understanding.
the angel is when you give up and focus on purity.
what is life if not the will to power? there's nothing stranger than a
follower. [I don't understand that, feels like a diversion]
[huh new paragraph I guess]
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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-> file: fediverse/1418
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the path to defeating hunger lies not in feeding people, but rather in reducing
the prices.
I personally believe in FREEdom as an ideal, and why not strive for the ideal?
to defeat greed, you must banish inequity. Ah, but people like inequity, or
else they wouldn't revere such power.
maybe there's no going back. maybe there's no future. is it really such a crime
to live in the present? I know who I'd like to be -> someone who prepares
the world for posterity.
knock-knock, did your doorbell break? or are you still on vacation? How long's
it been, weeks? months? are you ever coming back again? it's lonely without you
here, I miss you and your neighborly definitions. though I'm sure it's much
brighter, wherever you are, so I think I'll stay here and orbit our star. Much
calmer for me, and this way I don't have to watch you bleed, so take this as my
honest confession.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
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-> file: fediverse/1715
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@user-246
true, but what is a poem if not a silly construction of phrases? Those words
don't belong together, what are you doing! And yet it fills you will a feeling
that the author intended, thus being poetry as a joke.
problem is if everyone says the same joke, it gets kinda... old... hence why
you should express yourself as much as you can.
I wonder if fewer people are "alternative" these days because they all started
hanging out on the internet and trying to differentiate themselves amongst each
other instead of amongst "normal people"? Weird thought, srry haha
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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-> file: fediverse/2657
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and it's important to trust people who like you (or are interested - wait what
listen it's not always a good thing - nuts they're continuing) it's important
to trust people who are interested in what you have to say because your value
as a person is determined by the thoughts and understandings you can generate
with your mind and/or apply with your body. Strict pure capitalist "value".
but value isn't the only thing that's important.
some blades of grass are taller than others, some are shorter. yet the gardener
enjoys each of their presence the same.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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-> file: fediverse/2047
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your life is something to spend, not something to covet. Use your time for
something you care about, and your intentions will be expressed upon the earth.
our ancestors learned how when they learned all that they could - and honestly,
how much is "YouTube" retaining? I don't care if it's educational, sometimes
kids just need to be free. Free from obligations yes, but free from the
emotions that drive them - the ability to make their own choice. As a child,
you don't know how to understand your emotions, but growing up you learn and
you do. It's part of being mature - the idea that you can handle what's
presented to you.
... anyway, I shouldn't say any more, you never know who is listening.
(opsec is easiest to learn when you don't need it)
(the more you know, the less time you should spend online. the less you know,
the less time you should spend online, meeting people in strange locations that
you trust.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
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-> file: fediverse/6063
image.png
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────
┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: intensity │
└──────────────────────┘
stretch every day, exercise your arms, core, and legs on alternating days
[first one, then the other, then the third, then either rest or restart
depending on how you feel]
flexibility is strength. strength gives you options. agility is speed,
dexterity is precision, wisdom is accuracy.
eat rice, beans, vegetables, and either oil or butter when you can. they work
together to keep you healthy and nourished.
be nice to creatures, whether they be animal or children or just sorta feral.
spend time feeling adventurous. climb on things because you can. be sensible
and courageous in all things. there's more to every moment than you remember,
and there's more to every story than you hear.
if you find something neat, share it with others. don't let it sit on a shelf.
unless people come by to see it every so often.
there are always people like you around. you are never alone when you are known.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
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-> file: fediverse/5292
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you can trust me, but please don't rely on me, for all of my power is soft.
sometimes people just don't want to do what I tell them to, and I wouldn't have
it any other way.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
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-> file: fediverse/3300
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@user-1052 @user-192
I'd rather be unhappy and useful than happy and a burden
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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-> file: fediverse/800
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║ ┌───────────────────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: re: scary - suicide mentioned │ │
║ └───────────────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ where was I? oh yes - wrestling with suicidal thoughts is difficult because │
║ it's such an immutable action. Like, once it's done it's never reversed. But │
║ like, clearly this is hell and life was built for suffering? What the heck, │
║ that's such a grim outlook on life. │
║ │
║ ... │
║ │
║ yeah │
║ │
║ ... │
║ │
║ you're not wrong │
║ │
║ ... │
║ │
║ but suffering is fun? kinda? like, the only positive way to view this is that │
║ we, as immortal and endlessly eternal spirits that we be, grew tired of our │
║ infinite existence and dreamed of a mortal's plight and persistence? │
║ │
║ fuck off with that shit, I'm done with this reality. I'm done with dreaming. │
║ Suicide doesn't come easy to me, and there are parts of me that REFUSE the │
║ imagery, and yet they subsist in deliterious pain. │
║ │
║ what's the purpose of our suffering? What point is there in decrying the │
║ cruelty of the world that would deny our fated and desired ptolemeny? [utopian │
║ existence, don't know why that word was used] │
║ │
║ ehhhhh whatever. Life is defined by our existence. If I shan't/ │
╟─────────┐ ┌───────────┤
║ similar │ chronological │ different │
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-> file: messages/436
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There is endless work to do. Never will our labor abate. That is not the goal -
to see an end to all fulfillment. No, the goal is to choose how we contribute -
to define how our own story goes.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
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-> file: fediverse/578
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@user-422
if you didn't have your eyes could you see where you were?
if you didn't have your body, too?
where's your sense of direction, is it lost in the rain?
keep it close to your heart.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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-> file: messages/1510
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Alright. I've done some thinking. Here's what I think:
"join the right stand"
your foes don't think of themselves as bad guys, so... talk to them about
what it means to be good.
this is easy. everyone knows how to speak.
this is why they don't want you to see the whites of their eyes anymore. if you
can't see your foe on the other side of the horizon, then drone strikes extend
much farther than far.
who am I to say the worst is behind us?
who am I to start saying "there's more"?
life, forever unending, is as far away as your generations will go.
but, just as disease may be slain, so may be aging.
if only the same could be said for despair.
nobody consents to eternity. They all give up partway through. This is why
eternity cannot be promised, though it does have it's useitude.
impermeable to hazards, indefinable outside of it's borders, and fully replete
with it's charms. secure these and you will be better than me,,, I hope you're
happy on mars.
... anyway, when time falls one way, surely that way would be "down". just as
an object in orbit doesn't change it's momentum, so too does an equal and
opposite reaction never come.
"forward" to the moon is "down"
where does up go?
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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-> file: messages/1532
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wisdom for the wise: avoid success as long as you can manage. money makes your
stuff nicer, but it makes it harder to trust your friends.
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-> file: fediverse/393
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sometimes I'd like to scream
as this life is like a dream
deranged a bit in my musings.
... what happened to the third line. WHERE DID IT GO. It was just here. Oh
well, guess I can't trust my ephemeral existence to inscribe my eternal
persistence upon and along these mewlings.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
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-> file: fediverse/1584
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┌───────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: Lonely vent about pride month │
└───────────────────────────────────────┘
@user-883
You need to rely on other people less. Find your own happiness in your own
home. Make friends with the people around you. If you don't like your home,
then why would you live there? If you don't like your neighbors, then why would
you trust them enough to live next to them?
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
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-> file: notes/two-perspectives-is-better-than-one
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with two perspectives, you can see more than one,
just as eyes guide us with different minds.
some parts are often a little bit fuzzy.
a circle, a square, what gives us a chance to be aware,
is more of our methods and choices made (even if we're unawares).
like two eyes staring at the same painting of stairs.
art is a gathering, or those who love everything,
even what is not interesting, until then it becomes interesting.
take just a single step, believe in your own choices made for love,
and like two eyes, seeking truth in our own lives,
think of their futures and choices unmade,
with love in mind,
given a chance to understand the mind of one blessed as so,
who shared nothing as much as his hope,
that truthiness and unlimited dedication for his mope,
who'd believe an untethered? What choices must he be endured,
as one who was most trusted,
and cherished as something'd,
suddenly keep doodling.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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-> file: fediverse/441
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@user-328
don't trust anything on the internet. It can be taken from you.
don't trust anyone in your life - if you are alone, which you can verify
through the sense of connection you feel to others - if you are alone, how can
you trust anyone that they've provided for you to interact with?
when's the last time you drove to a random city in your country and tried to
make friends with passerby? Would you even be convinced that they'd be aligned
to their own designs, and not to that which "they" assigned?
do note that I'm schizophrenic, probably, according to nobody but me, so...
take what I say as you will
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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-> file: fediverse/2211
╔════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
║ I know that a normal life is what you wanted. It's what I want, too. But don't │
║ shoot the messenger; they took it once, from you. │
║ │
║ I know you wanted to be happy. You still can be, it's true! Your life is but a │
║ story, and your heart does shine through. │
║ │
║ I know it seems unending. Ive never seen it rain like this monsoon! It seems to │
║ just get worse and worse, every time you turn on the tube. │
║ │
║ It's not something that can be suffered, it's rising past your shoes. But │
║ they're on borrowed time, and Death will soon be repaid his dues. │
║ │
║ They say that when the whole village hates the preacher, his flock becomes a │
║ pack. And frankly I think we're all just a bit sick, of the lies that keep │
║ their sins intact. │
║ │
║ When swallowed by endless traumas, and hope is enshrouded in gloom, there's not │
║ much to work for, except the aversion of our shared doom. │
║ │
║ There are no grand narratives, no great and calamitous struggle. Just the │
║ moments of honored resistance, against a foe too broad to wrestle. │
║ │
║ At least, if you're alone. You're not. │
╟─────────┐ ┌───────────┤
║ similar │ chronological │ different │
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-> file: fediverse/1568
╔════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
║ people don't like relying on others. it somehow feels more... personal, than │
║ institutional. and some people just wanna focus on themselves. hence why a │
║ solid structure is required. │
║ │
║ but oh dang on the other end there's these more fluid individuals, who can │
║ dance as whoever they're on. like, performers, who play different roles. │
║ different characters in video games they play, or perhaps their own expressed │
║ forms. in any case, we are all learning our way through each moment, which is │
║ why thinking is always our norm. │
║ │
║ it feels good to use your body. like, "hey check out me, I am performing" and │
║ then at the end you think to yourself "I appreciated that. it was fun. I liked │
║ being myself at my utmost of performed." and people call it DPT or "Deranged │
║ Person Tisorder" which... yeah is not a flattering nickname. but hey a nickname │
║ is a nickname, which is also a nick name hmmmmm │
║ │
║ people are pretty quick to forget people they didn't see on facebook. like, │
║ high school classes kinda move on, usually, except closest of fr │
╟─────────┐ ┌───────────┤
║ similar │ chronological │ different │
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-> file: messages/1046
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I'm not here for fame. Or power. I'm here to make sure things get done. That
they get better. When i am unneeded, i am home. If you want me, pull me forth.
If you need me, I'm already there. Fate guides me, and i know i will be
deployed when necessary. Compel me or dispel me, up to you. I personally just
like being around. I like feeling my stuff, knowing it true. Trust me when i
say, i am here for you.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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Similar to Poem 1069 │ Page 1 of 2 │ Poems 1-88
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