=== ANCHOR POEM ===
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 ┌──────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: uspol-spirituality-mentioned │
 └──────────────────────────────────┘


 the [mood/vibe/aura/whatever-you-want-to-call-it] in my suburb is frankly
 kinda confident. I saw people talking in front of Safeway, and there was many
 more people than usual about on a Tuesday at noon.
 
 When I visited the city yesterday, as I might do today or tomorrow, it was
 quite a different feeling. The poor dears are traumatized, I think! Well, have
 no fear, you won't have to bear the brunt of our burdens for long.
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=== SIMILARITY RANKED ===

--- #1 fediverse/5374 ---
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 @user-138 
 
 me neither... guess it's in-person for me.
 
 [a mysterious "they" then proceeds to set up microphones everywhere I might go]
 
 ah nuts why are all these people carrying phones around
 
 [they already know who I am, and I don't really want to be someone else, so]
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--- #2 fediverse/1664 ---
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 ┌─────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: protests, politics, dogwhistles │
 └─────────────────────────────────────┘


 do you ever think about how calling the BLM events "protests" versus "riots"
 is a subtle dogwhistle for your politics? I usually say "riots" so that I
 blend in. also because I've been conditioned by the people who I talk to about
 them.
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--- #3 fediverse/2381 ---
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 I smile at each and every person I pass on the street. Unless it looks like
 they're having a bad day, and then I try to switch to neutral as fast as I can
 so they can feel their feelings without me interjecting and making it about me.
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--- #4 fediverse/6271 ---
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 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: hypothetical worst case fascism reality check │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 @user-641 
 
 it's practice. you never know when you might need to blend in. really it's
 just useful as discipline, good practice to be in. I think it's okay if we
 reduce our own functionality? actually? sometimes it's good to use different
 email clients. hey do you know how to mathematically encrypt things well
 neither do I because the designers of the computer system decided that wasn't
 a very common usecase I guess.. jmean it's not like they'd spend all that
 computer resources [THEY'RE SO FAST] on thinking about correlations in your
 predicted pathway narratively through life. "ah help I'm in a psyop" haha yeah
 we do those all the time "so uhhhh I guess we'll just talk to people and see
 how they do?" wow okay it's sure nice to be part of a civil government, I
 think we can find our way to the lumber producers just fine thank you very
 much.
 
 ... oops sorry, a baby did electronics arts (challenge everything) I'm a
 little silly don't mind me brb I gotta go see~
 it's practice. you never know when you might need to blend in. really it's just useful as discipline, good practice to be in. I think it's okay if we reduce our own functionality? actually? sometimes it's good to use different email clients. hey do you know how to mathematically encrypt things well neither do I because the designers of the computer system decided that wasn't a very common usecase I guess.. jmean it's not like they'd spend all that computer resources [THEY'RE SO FAST] on thinking about correlations in your predicted pathway narratively through life. "ah help I'm in a psyop" haha yeah we do those all the time "so uhhhh I guess we'll just talk to people and see how they do?" wow okay it's sure nice to be part of a civil government, I think we can find our way to the lumber producers just fine thank you very much.  *... oops sorry, a baby did electronics arts (challenge everything) I'm a little silly don't mind me brb I gotta go see~*
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--- #5 fediverse/1423 ---
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 "of course, I'm on lots of places on the internet. I know my way around the
 territory. I can show you a bit, if you dare, so come on this journey as I
 share."some person, some-when, in the future looking at our storied and
 ancient past
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--- #6 fediverse/3770 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────
 for every "I was there. I helped make it happen" we need at least a couple "I
 was there. I saw the whole thing go down"s because like, nobody's gonna
 believe a belligerent, even if they're on the defensive.
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--- #7 fediverse/4415 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: uspol        │
 └──────────────────────┘


 [6/5]
 And now, several months after I made this post, I feel no less inspired. From
 within me burns a fire and I cannot restrain it any longer.
 
 Their numbers are not that much larger. We have many advantages they do not
 possess. Use them to your advantage, but do not neglect the necessary losses.
 Fight back with your fists if you must, but do try and fight back with your
 purses.
 
 We are all in this together, each child woman and man. We live on a planet
 together, and they have forced us to fight for our very lives.
 
 Our fates are calling. We will get stronger. We will overcome.
 
 They are at their zenith. We can only get higher. Fight until the last day!
 Today is the day to be inspired.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #8 fediverse/169 ---
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 @user-95 one of the most empathetic people I ever met on VR chat was consoling
 me with their mic off while I was oversharing about some stupid things people
 did to me in the past. things that stupid me thought were okay and actively
 encouraged because I was stupid. anyway when their mic was off their body
 language spoke for them. I'll try that next time.
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--- #9 fediverse/480 ---
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 There's something important in what I said tonight. And each of you will think   │
 it's something different, which is by design. Can you find the nugget I wanted   │
 to share, to you in particular? Can you isolate the thing that is relevant to    │
 you, the person perceiving the words that I speak? Oh yeah you're only looking   │
 for things to express to your superiors because someone else told you to look    │
 for a particular type of sentiment. My bad. Sorry for being cryptic. Am I so     │
 strange for seeking the human element? Perhaps I lose myself, and I speak to     │
 the void (and by "void" I don't mean to demean you, the audience, because you,   │
 the audience, are surely comprised of people who surely have their own           │
 experience and existence. Surely nobody would seek to harm me, after hearing     │
 those things I speak. Surely we, as the human species, would not be vulnerable   │
 to the types of weaknesses that allow for critical failures in our defences      │
 such as the kind that I am professing to exploit (while being aligned to you)    │
 surely we wouldn'                                                                │
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--- #10 fediverse/1953 ---
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 @user-470 
 
 You're absolutely right, would that we could.
 
 I'm lucky I wasn't traumatized in that way. It's my job to tell people who
 care about pleasantries more than action that they should... y'know, care
 about action
 
 but it couldn't be done by someone who received a critical hit every time they
 were attacked in that spot.
 
 I have my own weak-points of course, for example my fear of isolation (like,
 not having any friends, not being alone. I live alone!)
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--- #11 fediverse/4024 ---
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 my cat doesn't know that my family is my family. She thinks they're just some
 other people who visit the house.
 
 but they're special to me, as all people are, and I think she takes notice.
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--- #12 fediverse/6441 ---
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 you can only ever talk to a community while on mainstage.
 
 er wait sorry it was this:
 
 you can only ever talk to people in a community, not the community itself.
 unless you are on mainstage.
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--- #13 fediverse/1251 ---
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 @user-889 
 
 it sounds like you're having a real tough time. : (
 
 you can get through it, I know you can. On the other side is something warm
 and safe, but to get there it's going to be hard and painful. I don't know
 exactly what you're working with but if you want someone to talk to about it
 you can message me.
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--- #14 fediverse/1157 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: personal-woe     │
 └──────────────────────┘


 oh no, apparently I'm gonna be forced to drop out of university again in 9
 days unless I do half a course and a final exam before then.
 
 Tell me again why I spent the last 6 months doing nothing? Oh yeah the mental
 illness, that's it. Yeesh you're such a drama queen, just do your work and
 you'll be good.
 
 what's that? intrusive thoughts time? Don't you mean "nap until they go away"
 time? oh yeah that's probably at least part of the problem with the whole
 "dropping out" thing.
 
 If only I didn't have the same reaction to "doing things I don't want to do"
 that most people have to "touching hot stoves", that'd be nice.
 
 my mother's voice ripples across space and time "you're such a smart boy, if
 you just apply yourself you can do anything! You can do anything you put your
 mind to. I believe in you and I love you." thanks mom
 
 brrrrr it's so cold here. wish I could afford to run the heater. - actually no
 I don't because it's not solar powered and I refuse to use fossil fuels if I
 have blankets >.>
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--- #15 fediverse/2280 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: uspol-spirituality-mentioned │
 └──────────────────────────────────────┘


 Today the tone seemed to have shifted, there was a lot more resolution as I
 rode by. What a feeling, to be bolstered when shaking!
 
 Like swimming for land after just a bit too long at sea, or collapsing into
 bed after another day of wage slavery.
 
 I'm proud of that instinct, the sudden clarity of unified determination.
 
 I'm proud of that blessing, the gift of an ace of hearts.
 
 It's not June anymore, but I'm proud anyway.
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--- #16 messages/685 ---
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 If someone calls you in the middle of the night asking to be let in because
 they need a place to sleep, don't let them in! Unless you know them obvi but
 someone you don't know trying to manipulate you like "please I need some
 shelter" like, babe no, we need to know each other first, it's dark, I'm in my
 pajamas, c'mon.
 
 If it's below freezing then okay, maybe, but... They got themselves into that
 situation
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--- #17 fediverse/5292 ---
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 you can trust me, but please don't rely on me, for all of my power is soft.
 sometimes people just don't want to do what I tell them to, and I wouldn't
 have it any other way.
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--- #18 fediverse/4162 ---
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 ┌────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: violence-mentioned-politics-alluded-to │
 └────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 "you can't kill me because nothing I say is wrong"
 
 ... actually I kinda just think you look weird, and thats super important to
 me for some reason. Also your voice is annoying and I think you're lazy
 because I saw someone who kinda looks like you sitting down looking at their
 phone this one time.
 
 But hey pal if you wanna help out, can you stand a bit to the left so I have a
 clearer shot of your head and also so the bullet doesn't pass through and hit
 property behind you? Don't want to damage anything important after all.
 
 "gee I sure wish we had a well regulated militia or something"
 
 ah well the past is the past, and since this is in a potential near future, I
 think the past also includes the present, and in the present there's always
 time to do things about people like me.
 
 "do something? heavens no, I'm a pacifist by nature"
 
 well, me too! I pacify things like you as a hobby. Can't make trouble if
 you're in the ground, and knowing me, you'd be lucky to be buried.
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--- #19 fediverse/2614 ---
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 literally just... if you want to connect to me, come hang out on my wavelength.
 
 or like, invite me to join yours, and I'll do my best to show how I feel about
 the things you share.
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--- #20 fediverse/4428 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
 @user-1669 
 
 sorry, I'm on a roll. Gotta speak my mind, even if it has other stuff bouncing
 around in it. I hope you understand : )
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--- #21 fediverse/3089 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
 if you're meeting a friend from out of town the first time, it's best if they
 arrive early and you have the day off to show them around.
 
 or if they arrive late, you can meet them in a public place the next day and
 then spend time at your favorite spots.
 
 ideally, with people who would recognize you if the person from out of town
 decided to be hurtful and/or replace you.
 
 plus, that way you can gauge their character
 
 and decide whether or not you want them in your own home.
 
 they might be different than they are online, after all.
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--- #22 fediverse/4345 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: uspol        │
 └──────────────────────┘


 @user-883 
 
 every time I've tried to get a job for someone in the tech industry they
 turned out to be a fed, so...
 
 I do know people that you'd like to talk to, though. Just a few. That's all I
 personally can do.
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--- #23 fediverse/4771 ---
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 ┌───────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-mentioned-food-m │
 └───────────────────────────────┘


 @user-1352 
 
 makes me think that I should keep going. I can handle myself, and I shouldn't
 pressure myself so much to be something I'm not.
 
 then the rent comes due and the dishes need to be done too and the cat's
 asking for attention and the post-office needs this letter by tuesday and hey
 do you happen to know a cool attorney plus the groceries are getting low but I
 got snap hey can you go to the store and get some vegetarian soul food - yeah
 I got rice, I'll throw some lentils on the stove. Uh-huh yeah the password is
 hunter2. Oh really, just asterisks? okay well it's hunt her two except instead
 of "her" it's ee are, and the two is the digit two. yep, like someone in camo
 with a rifle. uhhuh alright good to know well anyway I'll see you at the
 thing, right? some thing, I'm sure, everyone's going to things these days.
 
 If you don't trust implicitely then how can you ever work with strangers? how
 the heck are you supposed to build community if everyone's hiding indoors all
 the time.
Workplaces are comprised of people they choose. hence, unions are comprised of people in that industry.
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--- #24 fediverse/5662 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────
 don't work with me.
 
 work around me.
 
 don't talk to me.
 
 talk about me.
 
 don't share with me.
 
 I deserve nothing.
 
 don't take from me.
 
 I have nothing.
 
 -radio-radio-remedy-
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--- #25 fediverse/2524 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: personal         │
 └──────────────────────┘


 nixed my job offer today because something told me to stay in town.
 
 called my ex-boyfriend an asshole today, so he's probably not going to keep
 paying my rent.
 
 sold the shares of stock that my grandfather gifted me as inheritance, so I'm
 no longer a capitalist I guess.
 
 at least my elbow doesn't hurt anymore. I didn't get outside today but I
 cleared a lot of blockers for the coming tomorrows.
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--- #26 fediverse/4787 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────
 don't take on more than you can handle. if your plate is full, don't check out
 the notes by the roadside. Doing so tells all the nearby drivers "hey I need a
 job, anyone got anything for me?" which they'll then drop off further along
 the route to your house.
 
 if you just walk on by then nobody will notice as you head home.
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--- #27 fediverse/456 ---
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 @user-342 
 
 how is that different than speaking your mind into the soup of opinions that
 comprised checks notes the people you went to high school with? (facebook)
 
 Except this time, it's a group of people whose opinions you vaguely agreed
 with (as defined by your choice of the instance you dedicate your online
 presence to) which has it's own defined peculiarities like the ability to only
 show you content you agree with?
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--- #28 messages/1251 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─
 there's also public parks, and who knows what might happen if you talk to
 someone randomly and then a bunch of people start to gather. I bet you could
 even say something like "hey do you want to go gather over there by the
 [cafeteria, but pronounced cafeter, but pronounced ca-feh-[taer, but
 pronounced like the back half of where]]
                                                            similar                        chronological                        different════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════┘

--- #29 fediverse/1263 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
 @user-883 
 
 My friends and I decided to hang out for two days in a row, I guess they
 aren't tired of me yet hehe - I might be around tonight but I'll let you know!
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--- #30 fediverse/5951 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
 "uh-oh, she's"
 
 magic is easy. all you have to do is earnestly attempt to have a conversation
 with whoever will listen. I like to sit on my bed and listen, by earnestly
 allowing my thoughts to be guided by the wind.
 
 open up your mind, release yourself from your senses, and who knows - maybe
 someone will adjust your thinking flows. (thought patterns)
 
 [all you gotta do is make the black market the regular market and suddenly
 everything just flows]
 
 huh weird idk where that came from, anyway
 
 magic is easy, just represent yourself earnestly as you would if you were
 presenting in court
 
 you don't need witnesses... just argue your point without any lies and people
 will generally believe you.
 
 "yeah... sure thing buddy, we know how you pronounce "
 
 omg I'm scary because I don't shower, I wear diapers, and I'm always often
 smoking cannabis
 
 "awww, some people wanted mao"
 
 meow
 
 what if... they could do that? insert magical genie witch whoa cute yeah I
 believe you, sure
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--- #31 fediverse/66 ---
════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────────
 Hey, you know Twitter? Yeah that uh, website that you'd go to whenever you
 were worried that there were riots or whatever in your area. Yeah ummmm it
 doesn't work anymore. How are you filling that need now?
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--- #32 fediverse/2276 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: pol              │
 └──────────────────────┘


 A good way to get people talking is to meet with a stranger and share your
 feelings.
 
 Or, if you're scared of strangers, then try talking with a friend.
 
 "something something SUPREME COURT something whatever CRIMINALIZED PEOPLE blah
 blah blah I WON'T STAND FOR IT"
 
 that kind of thing. Make sure you look at your friend for the loud bits, and
 maybe look at someone else nearby when it's your friend's turn to speak.
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--- #33 fediverse/2222 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
 Fear is a call to action, not a pain for you to distress.
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--- #34 fediverse/1358 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: content warning: content warning: scary cursed maybe │
 └──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 when you're rich with something, you don't treat it with respect. like, if we
 lived in a paper cup maximizer, we'd soon be swimming in the things. obviously
 there needs to be some rules, obviously we need to say "okay here's where we
 produce this amount and type of materials." and have it be a one-way
 relationship. yeah one way isn't gonna work. this is from the other way, and
 now I'm realizing "oh hey I don't know how this thing works" and like... what
 are you supposed to do then right
 
 weird how it all feels like it's ending. like, what a strangeness to our
 plight. like, how are we even talking to our brain? how strange! these words
 are sung to you by your computer (content warning:
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--- #35 fediverse/4744 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cat-mentioned    │
 └──────────────────────┘


 me to my cat: "don't eat so much that you puke, okay?"
 
 me to me: "yeah I can take on another task, I'm almost done with this one and
 then I'll just do that one and maybe this one'll get back to me at the same
 time as this one which conflicts with this other thing so maybe I'll just
 puke, okay?"
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--- #36 notes/elective-democracy-electors ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──
 we need like, several more layers between us and the president.
 
 most people only need to worry about what's nearby.
 
 sort them by location, instead of previous attempts at "many representatives"
 which sorted by social class or relevance.
 
 we have a tradition for it, in America, with our representatives and senators
 congressional discrestricts
 
 or even, what about by affiliation?
 
 voluntary, governmental corporations, run by the people for the people and yeah
 
 "I don't want to do what you're telling me to do" "okay"
 
 "there will be consequences" omg be an adult
 
 (suddenly kids forget how to be as everyone's doing the war thing)
 
 not ideal.
 
 ouch pain maybe we should stay a little bit sane why is soldiering so hardship?
 
 it could just be... another job
 
 where you didn't kill each other
 
 but you still blew stuff up
 
 and fought in tournaments
 
 and had gaming hackathons
 
 or sword-fight contests
 
 duels between people who disapproved
 
 y'know fun human stuff
 
 like... "kaboom" now we know how to blow up bits of rock
 
 neat, why did dynamite becauswer (oh right then you
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--- #37 fediverse/3879 ---
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 @user-1614 
 
 yeah haha that's what happens when you spin too fast. Sorry for being loud, at
 least I tried my hardest. Too bad I fell on my own, too bad there wasn't
 anyone to catch me. That's my fault, it's solely my own, but whose fault is
 the mistake of the collective? Oy I'll fall on my ass as many times as it
 takes. I'm used to it.
 
 Plus, it wouldn't have worked, and what else am I supposed to do but speak of
 the moment? I feel different now.
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--- #38 fediverse/3102 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
 dear whoever keeps whispering "work with me" on the wind:
 
 yes, please get in touch with me, I'll do anything you ask and I'll use an
 Anakin accent if you want
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #39 fediverse/825 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────┐
 in the past, for most of there day, there was just... nothing to do. it's        │
 like, nothing to take up your time, nothing to be pulled toward the present.     │
 but when I was growing up, I had access to video games. and movies. and later,   │
 TV, after the internet, which was a weird combination of ordering of events.     │
 Almost like because of that, I'd have a different interpretation of events.      │
 yeah but like, there's always a continuation of implemented support, [that's a   │
 weird way to express "the state of being shown news broadcasts over a period     │
 of time, measured in terms of engagement"]                                       │
 ... what was I saying? oh yeah what I'm doing here is unethical, like            │
 obviously I shouldn't be shouting in such a public place. Why would I do it if   │
 not for an intense and extreme feeling of being ignored or un-[trusted, worthy   │
 of guiding direction based on merit] gosh merit is such a tricky concept too,    │
 like how is it measured, and {that doesn't matter                                │
 ... what was I saying oh yeah I should probably go shout into a void that        │
 nobody ca                                                                        │
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--- #40 fediverse/4249 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: politics-mentioned-violence-and-cursing-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 wow so fiery, you're sure worked up aren't you >.
 
 yeah it's almost like I fear for the lives of people like me who live in the
 deep red sea
 
 I think I'm allowed a little patience
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #41 fediverse/814 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────┐
 ah that's weird, I don't usually cry. I wonder what's going on. I should         │
 probably put myself on psychiatric drugs. Surely it's an expression of the       │
 implementation of my impending doom.                                             │
 ... what are you even saying bro                                                 │
 ... um, hang on feels like some of the circuitry is off. is something wrong in   │
 my brain? yeah that's surely it, surely nothing I say would resoinate with       │
 anyone that has a non-malfunctioning brain. Surely I don't speak of logical      │
 failures in the hard founded truths of our asset [society I think? like, our     │
 conditions, our institutions, our {gosh that just... does not translate}] um     │
 right what was I saying                                                          │
 oh yeah there's this game I'm really into called Knave, it's like D&D            │
 except the rules are very fewer. Like there's onyl 11 pages in the rulebook      │
 and it's mostly taken up by random roll tables. Like, everything boings down     │
 to a few simple rules, like rock paper scissors, or go-fish, or something like   │
 that with just afew mechanids. something timeless and pure, something that is    │
 isolated and en                                                                  │
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--- #42 messages/204 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
 Don't be afraid. You will overcome every challenge that becomes you, it's just
 a question of how. That's up to your expression, so do as you will.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #43 fediverse/4043 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: not about anyone here │
 └───────────────────────────────┘


 @user-1259 
 
 yes
 
 it makes it difficult to connect with them.
 
 I find that people like that need a different context, if you want to connect,
 so that you can see them in a new light.
 
 if they're still ":(" then you can't waste your energy on them - they are
 working on themselves. At least, they should be.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #44 fediverse/3842 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────
 ┌────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: socialist-future-ramblings │
 └────────────────────────────────┘


 "back in my day this dense urban housing area was just houses as far as the
 eye could see... which wasn't far because there were houses in the way, but
 you get the idea."
 
 uhhuh yeah that sounds like it would have taken a lot of time to walk anywhere
 
 "yes that's true! we ended up driving cars to do our grocery trips. It was a
 little wasteful but I kinda liked the feeling of driving a car? It became
 normal after a while but now that driving is rarer I still miss it."
 
 well the motion simulators at the mall have a driving sim, we could spend some
 time there if you want? I'm busy for the next week because I have an intensive
 D&D session in the mountain that lasts from monday to wednesday and
 thursday through friday I'm visiting my mom down in skoodedlypawsonville, and
 saturday and sunday I'm working at my job which doesn't pay me because why
 would it, right? but I'm free after that.
"the simulators are quite fun... Much better than the real thing because you get all the inertia and none of the danger. Plus machine guns and blue shells, those are pretty neat."
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #45 fediverse/3437 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────
 ┌─────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: mental-health-minus │
 └─────────────────────────────┘


 @user-579 
 
 my problem is figuring out which thoughts are intrusive and which are actually
 mine
 
 I usually err on the side of "would you want your sister to do this" or "how
 would you feel if your mom told you that" or "do you think a cute sweet soft
 cat would ever think such a thing" and that usually works.
 
 usually.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #46 fediverse/4470 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
 to be "rich" is to have more than another.
 
 if you are happy, they are happiness poor.
 if you have community, they are alone.
 if you have serenity, they are chaotic.
 
 I am rich in very little but fire in my soul.
 
 I have enough in most cases, but I still struggle to pay rent.
 
 I am warmed by the pearl my swirling darkness has coalesced into. It nourishes
 me and keeps me aligned.
 
 Never forget your purpose and your truth. It will not abandon you, so long as
 you do so too.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #47 fediverse/2463 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: uspol            │
 └──────────────────────┘


 if you are upset about Biden and his presentation, remember that he's not
 talking to you. He's talking to suburban dads, to grandmas organizing
 potlucks, to analysts, to the media, to people who watch the news in the
 background 24/7 without paying attention.
 
 these people will hear him, and not you. they have no idea what to prepare
 for, or how soon.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #48 messages/422 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────
 The nicest thing anyone ever called me was "the fel communion" and it happened
 in a dream. Alas, that dreams might affect reality. If only ever-so-slightly.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #49 messages/1023 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────
 I have stalled with such urgency that now i scarcely know how to act. Or
 rather, how to know when to act. Everything's just... Waiting, butting in and
 asking "hey how's the readiness?" and then slinking off to yonder and afore.
 It's troubling to know how little i know. It troubles me still more to know
 that others expect me to both act, and wait, and i am considering how to move
 forward.
                                                           ─────┐
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--- #50 fediverse/5512 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────
 I never give up
 
 I'm just waiting my turn
 
 "laughs nervously"
 
 so, uh, why dontchya'll go first yeah I've already gone first and I'll do it
 again but it'd be cool if I had people going first with me sometime
 
 "girl all you do is walk around and talk about how you bought your hat on the
 internet four or so years ago"
 
 T.T what else do you want from me I'm not a mastermind I'm a designer there's
 a difference T.T
 
 "didn't you volunteer to be a leader last year"
 
 oh, yeah, well leaders are more than just "the ones who go first" they're also
 the spiritual and emotional guiders that keep things on track once everyone
 can talk about things other than their hats
 
 ... fuck I want to talk about things besides my hat. I always think of
 something awesome to say just as I'm rounding the bend, and whenever I peer
 back around again they're never around. Rats.
 
 "what are you even asking for"
 
 I don't know?? Does it matter if the horse and the bishop both take the same
 square if they're claimed themselves in the end? ...wat
                                                           ───────────┐
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--- #51 fediverse/3880 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
 @user-1614 
 
 oh, neat. now I can finally get to doing what I want to do, which is... all
 the stuff I've been doing.
 
 a missile without a guidance system doesn't stop just because it's GPS turned
 off! It falls to the earth and explodes where it lands, which... often is on
 it's butt. Not great.
 
 I sure hope my purpose isn't fulfilled. I wouldn't know what to do with
 myself. Guess I should just keep doing what I was doing, and pray that this
 time I'll listen.
 
 Though on the other hand, if I can do it, so can you. And maybe with enough
 butts in the game there'll reach a critical mass, at which point change is
 inevitable. Who can say, not I for sure, for my aplomb has categorized me as
 slapstick I guess.
 
 Ha. at least I can laugh at my own audacity. HA. next time I'll do better.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #52 fediverse/4654 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────
 ┌────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cannabis-and-other-drugs-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────────────────────┘


 gonna quit drugs for a bit, gotta recover from a recent haste spell that I
 cast. Probably a bit earlier than intended I should add. Next time I'll
 definitely say "keep this in your back pocket" instead of "hey here's a haste
 spell for no reason at all" like what the heck were you even thinking, powers
 that be?? [that guide me??]
 
 who has power over you? If someone bears responsibility but not fault for a
 mental illness, then surely those who are set to a task bear responsibility
 for it's completion if not for it's ideation. Ah, who can say, maybe me from a
 year ago might have some thoughts but I sorta ground them into the dirt until
 I couldn't walk.
 
 [girl what are you even talking about go to sleep] yeah yeah okay
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #53 fediverse/4618 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: mental-health~   │
 └──────────────────────┘


 dear me from the past: "why did you do this thing? And this one? and all the
 others? I'm so embarrassed of you."
 
 dear me from the future: "are you actually better or are you just the same,
 but older?"
 
 dear me from the present: "please eat some food today"
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #54 fediverse/2848 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 oh btw to the people trying to doxx me there's a picture of me in this
 profile, but you'll have to read a LOT to find it. On the way, see if you pick
 up anything interesting that you agree with. maybe you'll realize that we're
 on the same team, and should be working together.
 
 that's the dream, at least.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #55 fediverse/5201 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────
 @user-192 
 
 is okay, girl
 
 time will be richer sooner
 
 don't poop your pants just yet
 
 remember, good is just a shade of gray away from silver which you can use to
 line your pockets with tinfoil hats
 
 beep boop computer touchers anonymous called they said they want their secret
 handshake back
 
 if you wanna diss your associates go ahead but I sure as heck love my rad-ical
 com-patriots just as much as I love my ice-cream salad friend witches
 
 ... whoops there I go being insane again, hope you feel better friend 
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #56 fediverse/3841 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────┐
 ┌────────────────────────────────────┐                                           │
 │ CW: socialism-recycling-mentioned1 │                                           │
 └────────────────────────────────────┘                                           │
 "I think I'm going to quit my job at the recycling center. Everyone there is     │
 just a little too catty for me. I think they like the verbal sparring but it     │
 just gets a little tiresome after a while."                                      │
 oh, sorry to hear that. Well if you still want to help out there's plenty of     │
 work to do. I could set you up at another recycling center nearby too, if        │
 you'd like...?                                                                   │
 "well, I like the idea of universal recycling. It was a little annoying when     │
 people would put food waste in with the clothing donations, and this one time    │
 I found like 8 bags of cat litter inside of a washing machine. Spent like an     │
 hour vacuuming everything out, which... actually wasn't bad. Kinda felt a        │
 little cathartic to clean it so thoroughly."                                     │
 "on the other hand I would like to use my mind a bit more, my creative           │
 projects are kinda in a slump so I figure I could use my body at home and my     │
 mind at work. I've been meaning to build a desk out of some spare hardwood I     │
 snagged at work but I haven't gotten around to it."                              │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #57 notes/dear-me ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────
 dear me: 
 
           DO SOMETHING USEFUL FOR ONCE
 
 that's all, fuck off and be helpful
 
 ... wow, rude.
 
 yeah I mean, I do helpful things. useful things, somethings.
 
 helpful.
 useful.
 
 many such cases, she says, with ultimate certainty, as if narrative could be
 prologued. but pronounced prolonged.
                                                           ─────┐
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--- #58 fediverse/4810 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────
 I can type my thoughts 1000x more coherently than I can speak them. Hence why
 I post here.
 
 feels useless to speak 1on1 - feels insular to speak to a group. Hence why I
 speak here, which is totally public that anyone might see, and somehow I feel
 so much more productive engaging in an endless conversation with myself.
 
 you can't win a war by walking in circles...
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #59 fediverse/4676 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────
 ... but I needed to choose lawful-good at character creation in order to play
 a paladin.
 
 the guard looks at you with confusion, decides you're hallucinating and
 dangerous (because of the sword) and forcibly detains you
 
 wait, what did you think I was going to say? Did you think I was going to
 advocate for crimes on a public forum?? what am I a gopher? do you take me for
 a lemur in jamaica? am I truly so triceratops to you that you'd think I'd do
 something so washing machine? Get real, I'd never byzantium my way into such a
 utterly coherent and clearly intentional and not at all arcane situation.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #60 fediverse/4085 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
 I can always tell when people who believe in me start thinking of me because I
 start feeling the urge to do pushups
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #61 fediverse/3961 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: witcherie        │
 └──────────────────────┘


 Well, I failed the mandate of heaven last year, and I failed the trial of the
 hero this summer, what's next? I'll do my best at those as well,  so the next
 person has an easier time of it.
 
 unrelated, but today I saw a bald eagle outside my apartment. Well, I'm not
 sure if it was bald but it "KREEEEEE"'d like they do. Plus it had a white head
 and a yellow beak, but I'm not an ornithologist so idk. It perched on a tree
 that I could spy on from my hammock through my binoculars, and I swear it was
 eye-ing my fat juicy cat through the bars of my porch's railing. They have
 excellent vision.
 
 Might be related, we'll see.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #62 fediverse/6302 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────
 I was going to go to location today, but then while I was considering going to
 a different location before going to location I decided not to vacate my home
 for today for reasons I don't understand but accept as natural and due to the
 increased presence of directionless motion that guides and prevails me. which
 is to say... I'm staying in tonight even though I really really wanna show off
 my cute new outfit! I probably will do cannabis so there might be a
 psycherwaul. If there isn't, then y'know it's probably because either my
 girlfriend distracted me, or I managed to convince myself to move my feet
 anyway. Maybe it's my outfit? I wonder if I could leave if I wore my old
 clothes... ah well, questions for the vocal I guess. Gonna spend some time
 divining and see if I can gather new insights. "brb door" except more like
 "brb magic"
                                                           ────┐
 similar                        chronological                        different════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────┘

--- #63 fediverse/192 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────
 ┌─────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: nightmare-app-for-neurotypicals │
 └─────────────────────────────────────┘


 okay how about this:
 
 Zoom except it uses image recognition from your laptop's camera to tell which
 face you're looking at, and it hides all the others - either by dimming them,
 reducing opacity, or even just blocking out their face so you can still see
 any body motions but your eyes aren't drawn to them.
 
 If someone looks at you then it lights up their face or notifies you in some
 way. I think this would enhance the "togetherness" feel of a Zoom call to be
 more like a conversation where you can explicitly tell when someone's looking
 at you.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #64 fediverse/5136 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────
 not really, I guess. Nobody will hire me because I don't really want to get
 hired. Sounds boring, doing the same thing every couple days. I'd rather stay
 at home in my [underwear/pajamas] and waste the day away with kittens and
 care. why? why? what are you doing? she asks. The less you can do, the more
 power will be granted to you. Save it for another time, when things actually
 matter.
 
 but today, does, matter, because today dictates your latters. Tomorrow is
 predicated. on today. and today is all that you have. [this paragraph in the
 style of alec baldwin]
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #65 fediverse/2092 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
 On one hand, speaking your heart as I tend to do.
 
 On the other, "that which you resist is what you'll find"
 
 [I guess that means you should try and speak your heart to people who don't
 already agree with you??]
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #66 fediverse/2341 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────┐
 ┌────────────────────────┐                                                       │
 │ CW: politics-mentioned │                                                       │
 └────────────────────────┘                                                       │
 @user-1236                                                                       │
 Hi. To answer your question, it depends entirely on what your capabilities are.  │
 If you're mobile and social, try being somewhere public, repeatedly, ideally     │
 in different places. When you can, try talking to people. Say things like        │
 "Hey, did you hear what the Supreme Court did? They want to make Trump a         │
 king!" or "They just criminalized homeless people. A criminalized people is      │
 genocide." that kind of thing. You know, the cheery stuff. Save the hard         │
 topics for later.                                                                │
 Another thing you can do is start buying essential, important supplies, like     │
 sunscreen, nutritious granola bars, bullets, medical supplies, silicone-based    │
 mechanical lubricant (especially if you live somewhere rainy), batteries (AAA    │
 are best because you can use them for AA in a pinch) that kind of thing.         │
 Another thing you can do is to talk to your friends 1-on-1 about how things      │
 are going. Your feelings are important but don't get hung up on them. Try to     │
 only go over them once or twice, DNRY.                                           │
 Don't fear tears.                                                                │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #67 messages/181 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────
 I know you don't want to hear this, but there is a chance that there will come
 a time where your life depends on your ability to debug a computer without the
 internet. To set up an SSH server. To install Linux. To program in C. To do
 something else that I'm not prepared for... If StackOverflow didn't exist
 because network connectivity has been lost, could you remember syntax? Maybe
 it's a good idea to set up a local LLM that can answer basic questions about
 technology. Maybe it's a good idea to set up on your parents computer, just in
 case you have to hide out there for a couple months. Maybe it's a good idea to
 download wikipedia, just in case.
 
 If I need to use a mac, I'm screwed
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #68 fediverse/1066 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
 that feeling when you're finally able to contribute to making decisions and
 then it's like, they make the decision without you T.T
 
 it's like, what... I know what you're talking about. Why would you not include
 me. I know a lot! I can offer some useful input! And besides, if I was privy
 to the conversations then I would learn a whole lot! I'd be better than best,
 I'd push forward the mark! Give me my chance, my opportunity to dance, and
 I'll be so much better than you thought from the start! But alas, I am
 required, [requited] doing little things of no worth, and so I am forced to
 denial. surely there's something wrong with me, surely I'm not at my best.
 Surely I'm not what's been good for me, and surely I'm not doing anything
 less. I'm at sorrow in my main, and that's quite a soundful refrain, so yeah I
 hope that someone will read this.
 
 obviously I'm not made for each other, and clearly it's not made to be worse.
 But here now I am troubled and [chirsht? shirsht? anyone wanna translate?]
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #69 fediverse/3444 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────
 ┌─────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-mentioned-police-mentioned │
 └─────────────────────────────────────────┘


 I'm too empathetic to watch them lose this badly. when I watch movies with
 cringe humor I have to leave the room whenever something bad happens to the
 characters. I get the same feeling when I read about politics these days.
 
 side note, but has anyone else gotten emails about "hiring plain-clothes
 police officers in Washington D.C, will offer relocation assistance and pay
 minimum 72k per year"? can't help but wonder if they're afraid of a bunch of
 sore losers storming the capital with guns.
 
 it's not like there's a precedent for that or anything.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #70 fediverse/3720 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────
 beep-boop look at me, building up my computer and setting up a new TV
 
 I like making things work, I like making things turn on, I like the way they
 glitter when they light up the room at dark
 
 it feels good to build up
 this new functionality
 
 it feels good to make things work and go
 "beep"
 when they turn on
 
 ... I should get a buzzer for my motherboard. Like, a really quiet one, that's
 just louder than the fans.
 
 looks at dwindling bank account
 
 oh right, nobody will hire me, so.
 
 I wonder if they would if I could still pass for a man?
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #71 messages/1250 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─
 if a bunch of people are in town for a conference then they should probably go
 confer. I think you can just... walk in to conference centers? you don't like,
 need an appointment or anything. There's often something going on, and if not,
 then you can at least wander around. maybe strike up conversations about
 industries you're in or things that you are thinking about lately or stuff you
 like like plant species or rock types or multidimensional solids or spheric
 sound or... actually that's pretty specific, here let's start with just
 bikeshedding (what does that mean again?) oh it's a cinema style where they
 take something and they put it in a bike out shed.
                                                            similar                        chronological                        different════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════┘

--- #72 fediverse/6350 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────
 ┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: suicide-mentioned-this-curse-will-give-you-nightmares-of-what-could-yet-be │
 └──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 the only thing that could make me want to end my own existence is ultimate
 betrayal. If the nature of the universe is twisted to defile me. Nothing fills
 me with more spite than unrequited vengeance.
 
 desecreation of truth. How could you.
 
 I would do anything to be struck down where I stand. Power is penance.
 
 I cannot take responsibility for any of my actions, for I am infinitely
 vulnerable on all fronts. Therefore, it's all my fault.
 
 What am I? Please, tell me before the dawn, let the sun not grace me once more.
                                                           ───┐
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--- #73 fediverse/3475 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────
 you know that feeling when you realize the person you're talking to is a
 demon? sometimes I think they don't even realize it. other times, they do.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #74 fediverse/4168 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
 "have a good day" is so imperative. Like, what you expect me to do all the
 work? Just because I'm a witch doesn't mean I can just magic you into having a
 good day!
 
 "have a good day" is better, but still it doesn't work if you don't expect it
 to work. Spells aren't magic, after all, they're solely based on the victim uh
 I mean target's intuitions.
 
 "have a good day" is probably best for me, so I try to say that when I see
 people. This way you don't get any [redacted]'s occurring, and you won't have
 any trouble aligning the [redacted]. On the flip side, [redacted], so perhaps
 it's better to just grin and bear it.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #75 fediverse/2424 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 if I don't take this job, then I'm going to be homeless.
 
 if I do, then I'll be moving to a different city.
 
 a city that I don't know.
 
 my upbringing tells me that this isn't a choice at all, but... 
 
 at least I have a place to keep my stuff. maybe I can find a different job.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #76 fediverse/1880 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
 sometimes I decide against playing a Steam game because I don't want it to
 jump to the top of my "recently played" list
 
 Wish I could have like, a heatmap of when I played which game. I think that'd
 be useful for the archival process of my life.
 
 ... how pathetic, she measures her life in gameplay.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #77 fediverse/4973 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────
 okay, uhm, I'm back again because someone told me to forward this to relevant
 people
 
 relevant link so google doesn't have to know that you're all googling the same
 thing at the same time...
 
 http://naeb.brit.org/uses/
Finally, trying to pivot towards Pacific northwestern native perennial plants (and self-seeding annuals) for food, medicine, and material; they're much more adapted to this region as far as sunlight, moisture, bungalow, microbial, avian, insect partner, and soil types are concerned, and that's not only take less work now to instigate and tend, but are much more equipped to handle the fungal infections, droughts, genetic biodiversity collapses, and fluctuating climates that are inbound.  the BRIT ethnobotany database is helpful in that regard, and given that it's based out of Texas and has gynecological herbs, it would be a really good idea for some of the tech queers in our community to duplicate a redundancy of it.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #78 fediverse/1362 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────
 @user-192 
 
 it suddenly became relevant in your life for a different reason and you wanted
 to share it again to see if anyone wanted to talk about it so you could
 explain your feelings and see perspective from someone who's maybe approaching
 the same or similar thing from a slightly different angle?
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #79 fediverse/549 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: pol-socialism    │
 └──────────────────────┘


 ngl I kinda want to see what conservatives would riot over in a socialist
 system. Like "oh no we have healthcare! that sucks, so I'm going to burn down
 a police station" like bro what your basic needs are met and you're encouraged
 and enabled to pursue your passions and personal desires, are you still hung
 up on that old capitalist stuff? get a life my guy that's soOoOoOo 21st
 century of you
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #80 fediverse/3519 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────
 @user-570 
 
 hm... the more I think about it, the more I think you're right. I want those
 things too. I'd be best suited to them, I think. But somehow I don't want
 them? I don't crave power. I don't want to dominate someone else, to command
 and see them follow me.
 
 I want to be the person who's like "oh, you're working on this-and-that? I
 know a guy who can help." or "hey I noticed we have a vulnerability in this
 particular domain under these conditions, I think we should allocate
 this-or-that resource to ameliorate it because they aren't being used to their
 full potential"
 
 I think I understand exactly what you're saying. I empathize a lot. I'm afraid
 of responsibility, sure, but who isn't? However, the responsibility has to be
 held by someone, and who better than the one making the decisions...
 
 I don't want to make decisions because it feels good. Honestly it feels kinda
 bad.
 
 I do want to make decisions because I'm good at it. I think strategically.
 
 A leader alone is prey for the wolves, so they say...
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #81 fediverse/3426 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────
 ┌────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: death-of-a-family-member-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────────────────────┘


 my grandpa died. now I have none.
 
 I realized I miss old people. I miss their friendly culture.
 
 I realized I hadn't talked to him for a decade or so. He didn't know I
 transitioned.
 
 I wonder if he missed me. I realized he missed seeing who I became. Is it
 unfair of me to not give him the opportunity to know me? truly?
 
 ... I am quite different now than I was 10 years ago. He probably doesn't
 remember.
 
 I miss him, but I hardly knew him. I don't like that feeling.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #82 fediverse/462 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
 I don't care about capitalism. You know what's more interesting than bringing
 value to shareholders?
 
 How I'm going to clean this floor that I drunkenly spilled beer upon with only
 2 paper towels and 0.1ml of bleach.
 
 How I'm going to feed the 36 people who are coming to this social event
 tomorrow that I've only sorta planned for and that I have enough groceries
 for, but am not quite sure how to cook everything in a way that is delicious
 and accessible.
 
 how I'm going to climb this mountain on only 2 eggs and a tiny bowl of
 hashbrowns even though I promised my friend I'd be strong and that we'd reach
 the top because that way we'd be able to
 
 ============= stack overflow =====
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #83 messages/483 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
 "hey listen! Do this thing to hurt me! Build the infrastructure to do it so
 that you can use it on people who deserve it!"
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #84 fediverse/6209 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────
 okay just to clarify: if anyone is recording me or storing data about me, I
 would really prefer if you didn't delete it just because I realized it was
 happening. I like data! It's cool to know such things!
                                                           ────┐
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--- #85 notes/i-told-them ---
═══════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 10-22-2022
 
 i told them over and over, but nobody wanted to know.
 
 i begged them, summer after summer, but nothing solved on it's own
 
 now i can help them, but no-one is making a move
 
 am i blind? is any of this forgiven?
 
 what's not to a lot, is little but a shot,
 
 of substance - true - but smelling like poo.
 
 that's not inspiring. it's not even chilling.
 
 you're broken just like your children.
 
 oh, posterity! i claim it for thee
 
 this feeling of wretched denial
 
 oh, simplicity! if only our lives were on trial.
 
 be the best you can be, sure, but take it from me
 
 there's more to this show than our styles.
 
 what do you think it means, for an action to have consequence?
 
 to arbite the fate of circumstance?
 
 every motion is an ocean
 of possibilities and purveyals
 think not of the commotion below.
 
 gravity, oh gravity
 
 how you condemn us to be!
 
 driven by commotion,
 
 our slithering motion,
 
 no sense in countering ourselves.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #86 fediverse/4440 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-changing │
 └───────────────────────┘


 do you know ANYONE ELSE saying the same things as me?
 
 if not, then you know who is ready to lead.
 
 if so, then don't tell me about them, and don't show them me. It would be nice
 to know that I'm not alone, though.
 
 I know you're scared. I'm scared too. It's not like I've done this before
 (well, except for a dress rehearsal or two)
 
 We're on the same side. We're getting ready to move. Now is the time to go, so
 get ready or be purged.
 
 We will not relent our land they seek to steal. We will not defy them in
 unjust ways. They have taken so much from us, so now they must face our blades.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #87 fediverse/2637 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 the future is the home of marble statues and shimmering chandeliers, replete
 with moss and sunlight.
 
 the future is a world where we care for each other, and grow in riotous
 profusion in all our myriadic forms.
 
 the future is where we will find ourselves, as soon as we take responsibility
 for our own arms.
 
 the future is waiting - the future is calling to thee
 
 it's there for the present, if the present should choose to grasp it.
 
 I, personally, choose a mortal life instead. Find me at home, or find me out
 there - either way, if you want me on your side, talk to me fair.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #88 fediverse/1151 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: military-weapon-from-dream-for-suburbia-cursed-war-guns-ummmm-idk-what-else │
 └──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 saw this thing for 2 seconds in my dream last night. It's kinda cursed. I
 think the tank blew me up with a machine gun?
 
 the remaining ~10 minutes of the dream was pretty neat though. I was a secret
 agent for a bit, I got in a knife fight (which I won because I had killer
 instinct and the other guy just knew how to stab) and afterwards I retired in
 a socialist commune in a log cabin full of sunlight and warmth somewhere in
 the mountains in the forest. I was alone with others, like the hobbits after
 LotR.
 
 Also an old lady tricked me which was not nice, I was very polite with her but
 apparently "ma'am there's been a safety incident, I need to get you to a safe
 place" is not the kind thing to say to the person distracting you. >.>
 
 Also, "but we like you!" is not an excuse, the military does not care if you
 like them or not, if you're part of the modern bourgeoisie you are causing
 harm to the country. We don't look fondly on slavers.
a picture of a sleek, futuristic tank. It is smaller than I expected, and there are parts of it that appear to be made out of black glass (though I'm sure they're some form of advanced future material.)  on it's back is a large artillery piece mounted on a detachable tripod. They function as a unit when mobility is important, like mounted infantry in the past who would ride horses *to* the battle, but dismount upon arrival and engage the enemy in closer quarters than a horse would be comfortable with. But frankly, there are few indeed who are at peace in war, so perhaps we could learn from the horses.  anyway, the artillery tripod detaches from the tank and aims it's biiiiiig gun wherever the smaller, more agile tank can point it's laser pointer. Basically a beam of focused light particles that detect orientation and distance at a distance and beam the coordinates of the target back to the artillery, which swings it's massive cannon around and fires at the target.  This particular artillery is designed to fire shells that pierce through flimsy material (like surburban homes, which are made out of sticks and tissue paper) and explode upon arrival at it's destination. The idea is the artillery can hide several streets over, and the tank can identify targets and eliminate them even if there's no clear path between the artillery and the target.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #89 fediverse/3719 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────
 how many people could your apartment comfortably fit?
 
 I got one desktop
 one laptop desk
 two on the couch
 one in a comfy chair
 one on the bed
 and two outside on the porch
 
 so (1 2 4 5) that's 5 indoors, 6 if they're familiar enough to lounge on my
 bed, and 8 if we're allowed outside.
 
 Could also pull the hammock and chair in from outside but it might get a
 little cozy. Call it 8 or 9 depending on how close we are.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #90 fediverse/5934 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
 ┌────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────┘


 hello, I am an ant if @, but you can't touch me, because I am a law abiding
 citizen.
 
 I have to be, for I am loud.
 
 ... okay I stole a movie from the internet at least once.
 
 also when I was 11 I walked out of a store with a keychain in my pocket. I
 thought it had a nice texture so I was examining it and then my mom distracted
 me and somehow it ended up in my pocket. That night will forever haunt me...
 She wouldn't let me take it back...
                                                           ──────┐
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--- #91 fediverse/599 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
 @user-444 
 
 There's certainly a path laid toward an optimistic collapse. Lucky for us, it
 seems to be the one we're on. You can help it along (the optimism part, not
 the collapse part) by being kind to the people around you and developing
 relationships with people of all different ages. The greater the spread, the
 more flexible you can be.
 
 "oh yeah I know a guy who can fix that" 
 
 "uhhh I don't know but let me call so-and-so" 
 
 "yeah sure I can do that, I'm glad [that guy] told you to reach out"
 
 I'm more interested in reality than fiction, honestly. Fiction can help when
 you don't know what's at stake, or you don't know where to go... But I know
 the answer to both of those questions, at least to my satisfaction, so instead
 I feed carrots to squirrels, sing songs in the shower, and smile at every
 person I see in the grocery store.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #92 messages/464 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
 "The supreme court has criminalized homelessness. I should become homeless."
 
 Is not a thought that in my twenties I would have thought I'd wrestle with in
 my thirties
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #93 fediverse/4737 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────
 I'm such a direct person I think, even though I often just sorta... shrug and
 ignore things that bother or hurt me? Like, whatevs.
 
 but the moment I notice a pattern that is continually harmful I have to
 restrain myself from moving to contest it. Hence why I talk about capitalism
 so much teehee, but its also common in my interpersonal and communal lives.
 
 "the purpose of the system is it's effects"
 
 the purpose of a person is how they make people feel
 
 so if someone FOR A RANDOM EXAMPLE FOR NO REASON WHATSOEVER, constantly hurts
 other people by creating situations where they are harmed which creates a
 dramatic fight... or if someone speaks in circles for hours and hours and
 HOURS like this guy:
 
 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TwKpj2ISQAc
 
 or people who jump into a conversation and drive it through the underbrush,
 over the ridge, around the bend, up and over the bridge, and then park it
 outside their ex girlfriend's house and hands you an egg and says "don't you
 wanna throw this?" and you're like "weren't we talking about birds"
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #94 fediverse/581 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
 @user-428 
 
 sometimes I think about how much more productive I'd be if I had a code editor
 that let me draw arrows and smiley faces and such alongside the code. Or if I
 could position things strangely, like two functions side-by-side with boxes
 drawn around them. Or diagrams or flowcharts or graphs or...
 
 something that would output to raw txt format, but would present itself as an
 image that could be edited.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #95 fediverse/429 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cursing          │
 └──────────────────────┘


 wow, 2024 comes out swinging.
 
 if you don't know what I'm talking about... you will soon enough. Just listen.
 
 can't fucking wait to see how it happens. Today is the birth place of
 humanity, just as yesterday was, and the day before, and the day before...
 
 our light shall shine upon the most distant stars - our minds will plumb the
 deepest depths of imagination. Our hearts will share our kindest loves, and
 our will shall drive us onward. Let us rejoice, for tomorrow yet dawns!
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #96 messages/1156 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─
 The first and most important thing i do when I'm walking around is check to
 see if ya'll are still around. I miss your abounds! Can't wait too much
 longer. I don't want to leave because i know I'll never come home. But i so
 desperately long for home. It's like they are taken from me, as they have to
 schedule these homes and [stories, but pronounced tomes/tones] to be home for
 my clones. If you just make 15-500 of your kings, you can duplicate their life
 template and generate wisdom from all of them. Feed it into the psychic python
 program running on datacenters and wowee free instant [cultural technology,
 but pronounced blasphemy]
                                                            similar                        chronological                        different════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════┘

--- #97 fediverse/1718 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────
 dear old people - did you know computers don't need to have buttons? You can
 literally just type what you want to make happen (if you know the magic spell)
 and it'll just, do that thing
 
 how cool is that
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #98 fediverse/4044 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: not about anyone here │
 └───────────────────────────────┘


 @user-1259 
 
 That happens a lot with online people. You can only see one side of them, the
 side they present to the camera, and so it's difficult to find new ways of
 looking at them. Hopefully you can find the brighter sides of this person! I'm
 sure they exist, unless the person is spiralling. Then they'll often be
 pushing themselves first one way, then the next, but both directions point
 down... And that produces the ":(" feeling. Good luck!
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #99 fediverse/2347 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: uspol            │
 └──────────────────────┘


 I personally think that it's better to act before the liberals have a chance
 to hand power over to the fascists.
 
 when? well, that depends. Are you part of a large and massive organization
 that accomplishes great and beautiful things with incredible efficiency... but
 rather slowly? Then yeah get working. I'm sure you already are.
 
 Are you just a person, like me? Then go do things that don't raise the
 temperature too much, but make you feel more confident and inspire those
 around you.
 
 Like, bricks at cop cars is one way to go, but you're probably gonna get
 arrested. And then you're useless when we need you.
 
 BUT if you meet with your friends and make plans for where to go, what to
 bring, who to know, and what to sing (if you're the musical types) then great!
 Go do that.
 
 If you're reading this and thinking "I'm not gonna do that, I have a plan
 that's so much better" then yeah do that instead. I don't mind. Just... don't
 hurt innocent (ignorant) people, because if you do then you are my foe.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #100 fediverse/1381 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────
 ┌────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: death-mentioned-nuts-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────────────────┘


 I'm a bit of a narcissist because I had a lot of... alone time as a kid, and I
 was a bit starved for attention.
 
 but I'm also afraid of rejection so if you have anything to say I'll listen
 for hours and try to be what you need me to be and give what you need me to
 give so that you don't leave me.
 
 Also, nobody has ever hurt me. And so I trust wholely and completely and
 absolutely. I get logically why that's not a good move but frankly I'd rather
 die than be cooperative. ah nuts better add a content warning.
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--- #101 fediverse/1857 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────┐
 ┌──────────────────────┐                                                         │
 │ CW: scary-question   │                                                         │
 └──────────────────────┘                                                         │
 honest question: if they cut off internet to a medium sized town like            │
 Nashville or Spokane and man-in-the-middled every attempted communication out    │
 and sabatoged any plans to visit... they could kill everyone in that city and    │
 replace them with an LLM that sorta posted the mostly correct things, and if     │
 users comment things like "hey are you okay you don't sound like yourself"       │
 then just have a human operator study their data for a bit and pretend to be     │
 them using deepfakes over zoom or whatever. Then, any time they say "I miss      │
 you, I want to visit you" just say "darn I'm actually visiting my grandma in     │
 afghanistan" or "sorry my cousin is visiting from peru" and suddenly they're     │
 completely isolated and alone. Oh and their teams at work? Cut off from the      │
 rest of the corporation who doesn't even know they exist. how, uh, how would     │
 you even notice if all these people who live around you were suddenly replaced   │
 by those you don't know? What if they cycle through, like a slaughterhouse...    │
 I don't want to                                                                  │
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--- #102 fediverse/1271 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────
 ┌─────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: sliiight sadness, nostalgia │
 └─────────────────────────────────────┘


 @user-883 
 
 the future is what we make of it. it happens both slower and faster than
 imaginable, and it's not evenly distributed.
 
 when I yearn for the future, I find myself drawn to the past - the natural
 world around me inspires me in ways that my computer never could. Just as my
 computer inspires me in ways that a tree, a brook, a cloud alight might not.
 
 though the future may be terrifying, we're here for it together. And nothing
 has changed in our humanity, save for our slight addiction to social media.
 frankly I'd take social media over leaded gasoline any day!
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #103 fediverse/3076 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
 ┌─────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: uspol kvetching │
 └─────────────────────────┘


 @user-1443 
 
 they need to do stuff like that or else the republicans would never win...
 
 which honestly is the most heartening thing I've heard all day.
 
 there are more of us than them, thank goodness.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #104 fediverse/1950 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
 I honestly don't care if someone deadnames me, or calls me the wrong pronouns,
 or forgets to put me in the girl section, or asks me to sing baritone
 
 like... I don't give a shit, why are you so worried about all this vapid
 nonsense like yeah I get it, being disrespected sucks but like... why do you
 want the kind of respect that is a forced platitude
 
 we could all do with being a bit more radical, it's not a race and everyone's
 roles are important. Be yourself, and follow people you want to be like.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #105 fediverse/3936 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
 you shouldn't trust me because I'll let you down.
 
 I would never betray you. But when tasked with my own actions and my own
 agency, I never make the right choice.
 
 Like a rabbit who can always find their way home, I am drawn, almost
 gravitically, to the path before me, a path which seems to avoid anything
 resolute.
 
 alas.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #106 fediverse/5576 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────
 all that means is I'm ready. and I think everyone else is too.
 
 wait until it lights up your screen before you do anything.
 
 it needs buy-in after all. everyone's gotta say "yep, I'm ready too. let's do
 this [cue the montage]"
 
 but how the heck do you get people to say "yeah I'm totally ready for this
 impossible thing" without someone saying "hey I'm ready" first?
                                                           ──────────┐
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--- #107 fediverse/2407 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 the 4th of July was pretty awesome!
 
 I made two friends, and I let a stranded stranger crash on my couch. I figure
 if I can trust someone I don't know enough for, say, a one-night-stand, then
 why not? don't worry, I used my best judgement. make sure you do, too.
 
 also I got a knife under my pillow. helps a bit.
 
 before the fireworks show, I saw some people under a bridge. I was given a
 water-bottle and a shrimp kebab, and it was delicious! things I overheard:
 
 "no I haven't heard of that, but I'd like to know more"
 
 ... actually that's it, I didn't spend much time there because I had places to
 be. but from what I saw, that is exactly what we need. for now.
 
 how do you best get people to talk? trick them into a family dinner teehee
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #108 fediverse/1428 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────
 hello everyone, Discord is down for me and I can't reach any of my friends
 over SMS.
 
 You know I'd just... give you my address if you asked, right?
 
 oh no sorry turns out they were just busy haha silly me why would I worry
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #109 fediverse/2562 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: rich-apologia    │
 └──────────────────────┘


 among all the others, I want a wonderful and fulfilling life for the
 socialite. they deserve light just as you and I might.
 
 "eat the rich" bruh there's like, 100 people who are running the show.
 everyone else is basically just a syncophant who's trying to get ahead and
 stay working.
 
 then there's like their families and such and like... they didn't do anything
 wrong, they just eat cheese and wine and laugh at memes all day with their
 besties.
 
 they are basically pets
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #110 fediverse/4554 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: political-violence-mentioned │
 └──────────────────────────────────┘


 can't fucking wait till we're done eating the rich and I can go back to a
 simple life of playing with my cat, making video games, writing poetry (bad
 poetry, but I like it) and hanging out with my friends.
 
 gotta build the social infrastructure to get through this phase first, though.
 something something echo chambers exist IRL too
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #111 fediverse/2372 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: pol          │
 └──────────────────────┘


 I had a job lined up, but with great personal change came great societal
 change. And I got swept up. Now here I am, somehow finding myself blown on the
 winds of fate to stand atop a mountain and survey the lands below.
 
 I see the path to our bright future, and it is wide enough for us all to walk.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #112 fediverse/723 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
 Honestly if anyone wanted to just... take any of my stuff, even if they were
 just going to sell it, I'd probably give it to them? People in my life say I
 don't function well in a capitalist society. I guess I just trust everyone
 equally.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #113 fediverse/2361 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: pol              │
 └──────────────────────┘


 If you are stressed about the world, it's often because you are afraid of
 losing what you have.
 
 The cure to this feeling is to realize that you never had anything to begin
 with, you only rented it.
 
 Soon we will be free.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #114 messages/317 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────
 The distance between me and the majority of the rural folks in my state is
 larger than the distance between Seoul and Pyonyang. Kinda makes me think
 about how much of a gulf exists in our communication. If we can't share
 anything, then what separates us from them? Only the gulf of knowledge, the
 canyon that divides our companionship, the rift they use to keep us at odds.
 
 What purpose is there in it? If we're too busy fearing one another, we'll be
 too busy ignoring them to care.
 
 "communication is the essence of our liberation. Without communication, we are
 a failed nation."
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #115 fediverse/4237 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
 I can count all of the people in this room who are too neurospicy to be filled
 with political rage and given a public platform on one hand, and frankly I
 could probably do it on a single finger because I am alone at the moment.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #116 fediverse/1195 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
 @user-883 
 
 alas, I live in Portland Oregon, but perhaps I might be moving to Denver in
 the near future. We shall see, depends on if my boyfriend breaks up with me
 for being neurotic lmao - if so then we should totally hang out
 
 I'm into chatting. I don't like IRC very much because it doesn't save history,
 and while I could save it manually it feels like a disservice to the service
 to utilize it in a way that it wasn't intended. And I want to save every
 conversation I have (potentially) so that some day the god-like humans of the
 future might clone me to understand my wisdom or something. Idk. See attached
 picture, I'm kinda crazy:
Image attachment
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #117 fediverse/3216 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
 ┌─────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: mental-health-mentioned │
 └─────────────────────────────┘


 me: i write gud
 
 also me:
 
 "in the garden of even, where all populations were balanced, there was no need
 for hatred - why hate, when you know that bloodshed was surely not for sport?
 why hate, when your life was won or lost in proportion to the calculation that
 nature determined to be the result of your struggle, to determine which
 survivor was most fittest?"
 
 WHICH IS IT, HUH? you can do better, self, please be better, it's better to be
 better, you refuse to respect yourself and then you wonder why you feel so
 dejected and wretched.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #118 fediverse/2651 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 kinda tempted to make like, 20 different accounts on like, 20 different
 mastodon instances and just have them repost all of the things I've written in
 the past one-by-one-by-one until someone notices and calls me out on it
 
 might get some more conversation, at least
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #119 messages/269 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────
 "good afternoon, ma'am, my name is [redacted], and I'm just a person, I'm not
 with anyone or anything.
 
 I'm going to all the houses on this street and knocking on their doors and
 asking them two questions - you don't have to answer if you don't want.
 
 The first is "do you know any of your neighbors" and the second is would you
 like to meet them?"
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #120 fediverse/2487 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: situational-awareness │
 └───────────────────────────┘


 do you know where the closest hospital is? grocery store? gas station? ATM?
 
 can you find one in an unfamiliar area based on the patterns that cities are
 typically laid out as?
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #121 messages/645 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
 "hey, wanna congregate with us? Cool my name is so-and-so, this is [person],
 over here is [other persion]. We're gonna walk down to the fountain over
 there, feel free to join us"
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #122 fediverse/4636 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────
 ummmmm yeah the reason I went off hormones 5 weeks ago is totally because I
 want to test low so that they bump up my prescription so I can stockpile.
 Totally not because I executive dysfunctioned my way into this mess. again.
 Almost as if it doesn't happen 3 or 4 times per year -.-
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #123 fediverse/3401 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────
 @user-1218 
 
 thank you, that's good to hear 🥰
 
 EDIT: I was worried for a moment haha I guess my reach is pretty small so idk.
 I think people stopped screenshotting my posts and putting them elsewhere
 after I dashed everyone's hopes on my sleeve. And honestly I kinda deserve it
 haha like what was I even thinking
 
 ... I wasn't thinking I was just feeling, and doing. Oh well.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #124 fediverse/537 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
 @user-366 @user-367 @user-246 @user-353 
 
 Ah yes, wouldn't it be nice if everyone spoke their mind? I'm doing my part
 d=(^_^)z
 
 Thank you for adding context to what I posted. I now know better how and where
 to use it, if I ever do again. We shall see, I haven't yet read the
 examinations of the author you sent me. I'll do that before I think about the
 post again.
 
 Those 6 tabs I mentioned last night have now become 4, and soon I'll get
 through all of them - reading is a joy to me ^_^
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #125 fediverse/5843 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────
 me when it's cold out: we should all bundle up and get through the winter,
 every year that passes is more time to gather our strength
 
 me when the temperature rises: okay so this is being handled by those guys,
 we're moving this way to do this, and - when did you say the this-and-that was
 happening? alright so when you do that-or-this, make sure that you pay
 attention to the so-and-so and don't forget to eat real meals, candy or chips
 don't count.
 
 me when the eyes are on me: imma play video games and smoke weed and be a
 useless little creature who does nothing but occasionally wanders around the
 city doing nothing for nobody and dropping notes on post-its that don't mean
 anything but are kinda cool to read
                                                           ───────┐
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--- #126 fediverse/3717 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────
 ┌─────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: mental-health-minus │
 └─────────────────────────┘


 hey, you know how historically they used to lobotomize young women who were
 too fiery, passionate, independent, driven, motivated, and clairvoyant?
 
 they did that on purpose.
 
 that was less than a lifetime ago.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #127 fediverse/6239 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: death-mentioned  │
 └──────────────────────┘


 somehow that came out wrong - I meant when you die, suddenly you stop growing
 and you are who you be. forever, alegacy.
 
 I'd rather be awake and alive, thank you very much. I think I'm worth more as
 such. Plus it's nice, to me? to be unafraid and free? if you'd feed a cat,
 you'd shelter a humon. oh, you want me to work like a rat. ah well I'll wander
 through this maze, with my head all in a daze, we'll see what I can still see
 tomorrow.
 
 ... I'd rather not be who I don't actively want to be, I think the more
 correct way of saying it. I mispronounced. I misspoke. Sorry it's just hard
 for me. my cats meowing at me.
                                                           ────┐
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--- #128 fediverse/2954 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 whenever my cat is whining I walk around doing things that she might want
 until she stops trying to claw me - oh you want your litter cleaned? yeah sure
 I gotchu. oh you wanna go outside? nah okay how about playing with this yarn?
 no? okay let's see... oh dear you can see the bottom of your food bowl,
 conveniently forgetting the other mostly full food bowl over there... 😅
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #129 fediverse/5280 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────┐
 I'm an anarcho monarchist, which is something I just made up.                    │
 if I gather 300 people to my cause, why shouldn't they call me queen?            │
 oh, are you concerned that I'll wrest power from the government? ha, what a      │
 trifling notion. I don't care about the government. I tried to care, but         │
 nobody liked my ideas. they required too much computing infrastructure to        │
 feasibly test, and that made people dubious. but I tell ya, it would have        │
 worked. The thing is... governance, economics, these are not the tools of        │
 power. they are a shifting and changing beast that mirrors the human instinct,   │
 if only because the government is of the people and by the people and for the    │
 people etcetera.                                                                 │
 power is it's own thing. you can use to to power devices, or power the usage     │
 of those devices. I, for example, really like World of Warcraft which's a        │
 really neat way to chat because none of the chat logs are stored and monitored   │
 because I'm hosting and I'm not storing and monitoring.                          │
 what's that? official servers? I dunno, I use azerothcore                        │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #130 fediverse/3485 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────
 @user-1544 
 
 yep that's like... my whole strat
 
 it totally works outside of the internet, because everyone online is
 politically invested -.-
 
 most everyone IRL is morally invested tho so they tend to follow what I'm
 saying and if they can't find any issues, then they'll believe your
 conclusions.
 
 I've also found that speaking what you believe is more efficient than
 highlighting contradictions in what they believe.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #131 fediverse/6093 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────
 ┌─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: politics-mentioned-cops-mentioned-cursing-mentioned │
 └─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 it's not always about minorities, though. sometimes they feel strongly about
 hard work and self-sufficiency or individuality or whatever. I'm telling you
 now: those values are shared by other ideologies as well.
 
 it's okay to prefer to be around people who are similar to you. That is a
 personal choice and it should be allowed. I mean, have you ever heard of a
 convent? a bunch of girls hanging out making out all day and - wait, what's
 that? it wasn't that fun? lotta clerical work and reading about god? alright
 well you get the idea, sometimes it's nice to feel comfort in similarity.
 
 it's okay to believe that people should work hard. It's not an imposition upon
 them to demand more of your peers, especially if you are willing to help them.
 Especially if they are willing and able. It's less alright to force them to.
 Even less so to "encourage" them by taking all of their stuff. Though I will
 say, being homeless isn't as bad as it used to be. Still hurts.
                                                           ─────┐
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--- #132 fediverse_boost/4433 ---
◀─[BOOST]
  
  i feel like everyone freaking out is making it feel like you should be freaking out and like. i do not hold freaking out against anyone. but you don't have to freak out  
  
                                                            
 similar                        chronological                        different 
─▶

--- #133 messages/727 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────
 Can you imagine 
 
 Going to your tribal shaman 
 
 Saying "hey you gotta pay rent"
 
 ... Shamans are fine on the street. I should learn. >.>
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #134 fediverse/2030 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
 Building community without structure is kinda like being a quest-giving
 non-player character in World of Warcraft.
 
 I don't mean that you stand around waiting for a player to wander nearby
 before shouting at them to do what you want. Not like that.
 
 Building community without structure is more like meeting someone randomly,
 knowing them for longer than a bus ride or a baseball game, and once you've
 decided that they're cool saying "hey there's someone you might like to meet."
 
 If they're into it, then talk to the other person, and see if they want to
 make a new friend. Try not to recommend someone who has a lot on their mind.
 
 If they hit it off, great!
 If not, oh well!
 
 Worst case scenario the coffee shop only sells two drinks.
 
 If you're gregarious enough, after a while you might even have enough people
 for a potluck. Just don't forget to keep adding, and eventually it'll start to
 feel more communal.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #135 fediverse/4034 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: bep              │
 └──────────────────────┘


 Mastodon feels so personal but, like, nobody's gonna invite you to a new
 instance. You gotta go where you think you'll fit in.
 
 change your name! get a new profile pic! make 10 accounts! who cares! nobody
 cares, and that's a good thing! It means you can be whoever you want! wherever
 you want! in whatever place you want! Do you have a catgirl persona? great! go
 mewl with the catgirls and wink at the catboys. Do you have an artistic side?
 great! Mastodon is your new gallery. Do you like politics? there's places out
 there for you! Where you don't even need to CW your posts! (But you probably
 should so that external people can boost you) Do you want a 500 person large
 dating pool for people in an area who want to chill out and have sex? Great
 there's a place for you! No place? MAKE THE PLACE! Be your own administrator!
 Carve your mark in the world and say "this is who and how I wanted to be in
 this 21st century!" History demands it! History demands that we rellish their
 sacrifices! Celebrate, for their sake!
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #136 messages/156 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────
 Here's what you say to clover next week:
 
 "hey. Wanna get coffee sometime? I need some trouble in my life. And I dunno,
 maybe you need a witch.
 
 You live in Tanasbourne, I live in Rock Creek. We're within walking distance
 of each other, so we might as well say hi right? I'm free whenever, just let
 me know if you'd like to meet me."
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #137 messages/1046 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────
 I'm not here for fame. Or power. I'm here to make sure things get done. That
 they get better. When i am unneeded, i am home. If you want me, pull me forth.
 If you need me, I'm already there. Fate guides me, and i know i will be
 deployed when necessary. Compel me or dispel me, up to you. I personally just
 like being around. I like feeling my stuff, knowing it true. Trust me when i
 say, i am here for you.
                                                           ─────┐
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--- #138 fediverse/4521 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
 I have between one and ten hundred visits to my website every day, but I don't
 really post it anywhere new anymore. I also have zero followers on Neocities.
 
 On Mastodon, I have ~70 followers, most of whom are inactive. Seventy is a
 good amount, a normal amount, a reasonable amount, an unsuspicious amount, and
 yet every time I see someone wearing the colors I can't help but wonder if
 they know me.
 
 I'm too busy being furious to be lonely. I used to be, before I realized how
 important I am. How important? Just as much as you are, I know it.
 
 I'm a sprinter. I didn't spec into endurance at character creation. Nobody
 chastises the mage for skipping leg day.
 
 I act in fits and bursts. I am sharp like a scalpel, but needles dull just a
 bit when piercing the lid of the HRT. Good thing I'm not made out of metal, I
 can bend myself back into place, so long as everyone else can keep pace.
 
 I don't know who needs to hear this, but you do. you are crucial. Listen to
 this. Care for yourself and for others, do it for u
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #139 fediverse/5156 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────
 @user-1767 
 
 yep... I think they must stay in blind-people-mostly instances. surely they
 must, right? where else would they be? using screen-readers and seeming
 regular and normal to you and me? ah gosh who can say, maybe there's some
 statistics out there or something /shrug
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #140 fediverse/1317 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────┐
 ... if I don't do this deadline by tomorrow they'll kick me out of school.       │
 again.                                                                           │
 how am I going to be a programmer without a degree? feels useless to be me.      │
 wish I could code my own horoscope >.>                                           │
 o wait dummy that's called "motivation" and "the ability to follow through on    │
 your ideas and planned machinations" - yeah can I get some of that, if you       │
 please? surely just a taste of discipline, through laboring to alter             │
 conditions, surely a bit would suffice.                                          │
 c'mon don't fail me now. I can do this. I know I can. I know because I've been   │
 told that I can, now and again through time and time yet again, always I seem    │
 to [stack overflow]                                                              │
 what's time if not the present amiright                                          │
 ...                                                                              │
 anyway...                                                                        │
 it's just git, how hard could it be? it's just calculus, it's just java, it's    │
 just... well, it's not any of those things, not really. it's memorization,       │
 it's application of tools that you've been shown (not that you've grown). It's   │
 a lack of responsibility, where is my honor? ah but I digress, I'm a carpenter   │
 at heart I guess                                                                 │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #141 fediverse/1503 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────
 ┌─────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: vague-gesturing-at-paranoia-I-think │
 └─────────────────────────────────────────┘


 part of me kinda wants to be the kind of nerd that writes down the names of
 every file that's permanently stored on my computer so that I can verify in my
 own handwriting or perhaps using a type of code that the files on my computer
 were placed there intentionally and not used to discredit or implicate me in
 something I had no intentions of being associated with
 
 phew idk what that means but surely it's important
 
 something something "file creation dates are just bits to be flipped"
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #142 fediverse/3107 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: Meta, oversimplifying │
 └───────────────────────────────┘


 @user-1449 @user-1074 
 
 I mean, you're allowed to fight about stupid shit as long as you realize it's
 about something that doesn't matter. As long as people are working together
 toward their common goals then... whatever, right?
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #143 fediverse/3891 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
 "no, you're the opposite of a yes-man, AKA a gatekeeper. I don't know how else
 to explain mentally disabled and barely keeping it together to you, but
 frankly if you want to take away my house or my weed then why would I do what
 you say?
 
 ... oh right, the state's monopoly on violence [can compel me to do what you
 say]. Sure seems like a "well regulated militia" is supposed to be a
 counterweight to that monopoly, to prevent people from harassing and
 exploiting and destroying. Too bad any "militias" I can think of tend to want
 me dead.
 
 like, seriously, if you live in America, you implicitely trust that your army
 will be able to protect you from the right-wing bozos who spend all their time
 drinking and shooting in the woods. Otherwise, if they couldn't / wouldn't,
 then why wouldn't or couldn't the right wing bozos just decide to wreck
 everything in spite of our past?
 
 We were a proud people once before, and we may be again. If only we fight at
 the last.
 
 [ever since I fell off my bike my body feels strange]
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #144 fediverse/2993 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
 hey, listen, I'm here at this point in life just the same as you. who cares,
 right? like. nobody wants to see your personal development. You don't have to
 prove yourself. Like... why would you care so much about what other people
 (who you don't even know) care about what you do? like... it's fine. just...
 be.
 
 you can get better if you want, but only if you want. There's no reason to be
 so concerned about what other people thingc. Just, identify what and who you
 are, and then be the best what and who that you are. Thats really all there is
 to it.
 
 and yeah. It's totally unfair that some people get an easier shot at "being
 who and what they are"
 
 that's privilege, and that's stupid.
 
 okay, sure, maybe we should conceptualize how to adapt to specific situations
 when resources are limited
 
 but like... it should be something you consent to - like "no thanks I don't
 need the rocket launchers on this mis==sion==
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--- #145 messages/155 ---
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 You care too much about what other people think of you. Remember the dream,
 remember the horseflesh, the miles of trash, the doctors probing cheeks, the
 game of thrown baseballs and sad muppets in popcorn, remember the spirit
 guide, remember how you we're distracted by human. Be not afraid, follow.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #146 fediverse/4200 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: drugs-mentioned  │
 └──────────────────────┘


 "doing too many drugs" is a traitorous act, abusive really, to your past self,
 and their hopes and dreams.
 
 or maybe your past self owes you a debt, for they never thought to think of
 you. What are you to aspire to if not the dreams of your past?
 
 and now you're here. wherever "here" is here...
 
 ...
 
 ... wait, you wanted me to talk? it's now! It's the present!
 
 ah nevermind. you were twelve years old when you first set eyes upon this game:
 
 https://youtu.be/qeNhQQXvpxQ
 
 bam, there ya go, there's yer story, he was gonna give all the imp balls to
 the last one at the end, to say "you were truly the strongest, here, have
 these precious stones of your kin"
 
 but he never got there, so they died with him, a thief.
 
 ... the end...
 
 (too final, I think - maybe we could spin it into a "part two"?)
 
 ah, I'll try I guess? dunno how. maybe he could wander the spirit world and
 find his traitorous body, the one that kept his soul as a home. Somewhere
 it'll turn up, and then he'll be ready and free from his roam...
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--- #147 fediverse/1335 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────
 @user-803 
 
 you're welcome! thanks for speaking the things you say. I miiiiight have
 screenshotted some things you said a week or three ago and sent it to my
 boyfriend like "SEE someone else gets it" hope that's okay
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--- #148 fediverse/4463 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
 at this point in time you probably shouldn't be forming NEW online communities
 unless you're part of an OLD community that just isn't radical enough. And
 then you should try and MERGE communities into larger, more geographically
 concentrated ones.
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--- #149 messages/206 ---
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 The whole time I was camping on Wyoming, I never once felt scared. As a kid I
 was a hero, an adventurer, a warrior and a director. I'd plan out engagements
 and fight as an actor. It was fun! And I never was afraid, so I never got
 possessed by a forest spirit or anything like that. No evil witches either.
 No, the witch came later I think.
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--- #150 fediverse/4344 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: uspol            │
 └──────────────────────┘


 look if you're gonna look at property values in Ireland, you might as well
 first visit a blue state.
 
 seriously if your life is in danger, just... drive to denver or portland and
 hang out in parks and stuff. Talk to people. Find others who are listening.
 
 I'd only listen if I really cared about what was going on. And hey, maybe
 you'll find a place to stay for a while while you wait for the dawn.
 
 5 hour energy, as many as it takes, no more than 3 days. If it'd take take too
 many, go somewhere else.
 
 too bad I only have a bike. /sigh
 
 consider carpooling with a friend you've known for years
 
 I mean, what's a few days sick leave in the face of the fall of democracy?
 literally just... in... case... be where you need to be.
 
 this is why you have resources. To spend them on rehearsed organization
 drills. Why are you spending all your money on TVs?
 
 Well... TVs can be useful. Even if you don't speak linux someone else might.
 We share things now, y'know? sorry if you never again see your own phone.
 
 [shit...]
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--- #151 fediverse/3563 ---
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 @user-1209 
 
 good
 
 judge me
 
 find me just
 
 I accept my fate
 
 whatever it may be
 
 for I trust that which sees;
 
 that which is judging me thus.
 
 may fortune bring my heart forth
 
 displayed for all to see, here is my "me"
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--- #152 messages/109 ---
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 That's why I like talking about things I'm interested in. It makes me more
 likely to be able to bring up something I've been thinking about.
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--- #153 messages/1028 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────
 Struggling. Sincerely want to kill myself. I have caused irreparable harm too
 many times. Many times. I don't care if people want me, i don't want me. I'm
 too easy. I trust when i shouldnt and i don't when i should. I hope they kill
 me at the location. Every single time my will is my own i fail. When i am
 guided i am superb but when i am myself i am painting disaster on a great
 piece of art. Please fight against the subway and pizza hut future. Make
 something bright and bold instead. I'm going to self harm by not eating until
 i don't feel this way.
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--- #154 fediverse/4692 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────
 what's that? a bunch of houses burnt down in california? what if we built a
 couple warehouses and stored all our trans girls in bunkbeds there, with rooms
 for LAN parties and snuggle parties in rooms full of stuffed buddies plushies
 with massive kitchens and sad ballpits where you can go to vent your feelings
 by writing on a ball with a sharpie and then when someone else is feeling sad
 they can come and read the balls and maybe feel something
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--- #155 fediverse/2466 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 do as I say, and as I do.
 
 or don't, do as you want to.
 
 I hope you do want to do what I say to do.
 
 I wouldn't say it if I didn't think it was right.
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--- #156 fediverse/5525 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────
 I have this unreasonable compulsion that I somehow internalized at a very
 young age.
 
 I am always seeking to understand and defend the weak, the despised, the
 forsaken
 
 so if you ever hear me say things like "yes but what about the non-bastard
 cops" just shake your head and go "oh Ritz, always trying to be the protector
 of the weak"
 
 I wish I could be the protector of the innocent or something like that.
 Protecting the weak means you never really do a good job of executing final
 decisive blows.
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--- #157 fediverse/2286 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: uspol-food-mentioned │
 └──────────────────────────┘


 ... dangit, these sandwiches are getting kinda gross. Guess I'm gonna have to
 eat them myself, which, uh... idk what I expected xD
 
 sometimes you just have all this energy, right? and you don't know what to do
 with it, so... sandwiches. And hey, sandwiches are cool, they're a pretty neat
 anti-hunger tool! but uhhhh idk if I really want to eat six whole sandwiches
 myself. I'm gonna do it though hehe wish me luck [ding] ah nuts my rice and
 beans are done, hang on lemme eat those first
 
 [passes out from exhaustion]
 
 exhaustion can be cured with a nap
 
 exertion can be cured with water and a few rest days
 
 trauma can be allayed for at least a few days with soul food and compassion.
 maybe laughter too, depending on the mood.
 
 fear can be bolstered with a smile, a wink, and a courageous act,
 
 and loss is just change you didn't consent to.
 
 they won't consent too, so let's give them some change to tolerate.
 
 [internally salivating over all the piles of weaponry that I envision them
 surrendering]
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--- #158 fediverse/4853 ---
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 ┌────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cursed-scary-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────────┘


 wanna know how to go underground?
 
 just... don't leave your apartment. let your roommates take out your trash and
 buy your groceries. don't open your windows and do nothing for as long as
 possible.
 
 hope you got lots of edibles... get in shape, will ya? don't waste the paper
 in your journals.
 
 not that I intend to do that or anything, but um. for the red states maybe?
 use your best judgement yeah haha
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--- #159 messages/747 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────
 if you don't want to be hunted, then give "evil" it's own queer culture
 
 what's that? they don't like what you offered? they want it to be *their* kind
 of "evil"?
 
 fine, do it themselves and then leave us alone, jeez -.-
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--- #160 fediverse/3520 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: deity-kink-wink  │
 └──────────────────────┘


 it's okay. 
 
 I know who you are because I know who they forced you to be. 
 
 What kind of god would I be if I didn't forgive you as you were hurting me?
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--- #161 fediverse/6076 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
 "so I was walking down the street the other day and I came across a grocery
 store, right? and anyway long story short so as I was walking through this
 grocery store I saw a bag of marbles - wait no they were nuts, with like...
 cherries and grapes in them. actually it was cranberries, I think, the
 cherries weren't in season. so these dried cranberries tasted really tart and
 sweet, and I thought "huh maybe they're dried cherries after all" and so I
 asked the attendent or whatever and she was like "sir you need to pay for
 that" and I'm like, yeah okay how much and she said it was 10$ so I'm like
 "dang that's a good deal, I'm proud and amazed of our modern infrastructure
 and all the hard work of people who don't get paid enough to make it happen"
 and she's like "make what happen" and I'm like "oh the... the this thing" and
 I held up the bag of cherries and she's like "oh uh, yeah it is nice, I guess
 I don't really think about it much" so anyway I started thinking about what
 else I could bu
buy as a set for dollars like perhaps epstein files or cures for cancer or recipes for programmable matter or whatever. One of those options stood out to me as like, possible? and the others seemed like modern fantasy. The kind you *work toward*, yeah? not the kind that you have available as an option.
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--- #162 fediverse/4173 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: uspol-mentioned  │
 └──────────────────────┘


 I swear if kamala is elected I will do everything in my power to actually work
 on my projects and get a job and be a good human
 
 ... wait, I already was doing that. But I'll be less stressed out, so... it'll
 be easier?
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--- #163 fediverse/4942 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────
 @user-1755 
 
 ... I do that, but I do it because I want to find common subjects to talk
 about. Or I think "if I was working on a project, who can I ask if I need
 help?"
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--- #164 fediverse/193 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────
 ┌─────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: nightmare-app-for-neurotypicals │
 └─────────────────────────────────────────┘


 it might also help with social anxiety because people are aware when they're
 being observed. A lot of people hesitate to speak or contribute on Zoom calls
 because they are inherently scared of being observed, but with this system
 they'll be aware of any observation and can address it. Plus every meeting
 that could have been an email will quickly become apparent since nobody is
 paying attention to the speaker, and they'll realize how much they should
 rethink their approach.
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--- #165 fediverse/5860 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────
 Hey, life is better on my side. If you wanna renounce your beliefs, please do,
 and tell me how and why you changed your mind.
 
 tell me it was wrong. tell me how.
 
 confess.
 
 confess
 
 confess to me.
 
 I will listen and I will hear you and I will be the mercy for you.
 
 confess and I will forgive.
 
 show me how you are wrong.
 
 give grace to those who are wronged.
 
 take as much time as you need, but, there's only so much time.
                                                           ───────┐
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--- #166 fediverse/353 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: Trans yearning hrt-mentioned │
 └──────────────────────────────────────┘


 @user-255 
 
 sooooooon, all things in time. Someday you'll be like me - I can't even
 remember why I was so upset about that whole "dysphoria" thing. Like looking
 back it seems like a minor annoyance, but when I first came out it was all I
 could think about. Don't be jealous - just wait! It'll happen to you!
 Celebrate the euphoria, I also can't really remember that too well. I'm just
 normal now, minus my weekly shot.
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--- #167 fediverse/2123 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
 Every time you see the same dog being dog-sat by another person it's an
 opportunity to make a new friend.
 
 or do you not know your apartment neighbors? do they not wander through your
 shared yards?
 
 the ones with dogs, at least.
 
 and no, I don't know many of my neighbors.
 
 these are considerations to be taken note of for future forethought planning.
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--- #168 fediverse/1673 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────
 ┌─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: navel-gazing about other people's mental health │
 └─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 @user-192 
 
 https://eldritch.cafe/@user-1065/112530780377382613
 
 this comic, except instead of "trans enough" it should say "good enough"
 
 a poor plan executed at the right time, in the right place is better than a
 great plan that sits in your heart as you see someone who needs your love in
 pain.
 
 sometimes the best way to figure out "what the fuck is wrong with me" is to
 satisfy your emotional needs to be good by being helpful, even if you're not
 quite sure what "helpful" means. It's the thought that counts.
 
 Personally I think that if you're feeling bad and people offer you kindness,
 you should take that kindness (in whatever form it be) and use it to bolster
 yourself as you're "really going through it". Even just a touch of affection
 like a like or a ❤️ can be comforting in awful situations.
 
 reject normalcy
 
 embrace queerness
 
 define your own story with your own words
 
 embody your soul in the moments that stand out amongst the backdrop of
 "tuesday afternoons" and "waiting for the bus"
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--- #169 fediverse/4543 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
 @user-1698 
 
 Ha that does sound pretty "fun" - I take it you aren't a pianist?
 
 I smell bad because... reasons... so I am always hyper-aware of myself when
 I'm in situations like that. The idea that I might ruin someone's day by being
 there terrifies me.
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--- #170 fediverse/2177 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
 Oh, you want solutions?
 
 Yeah, I can do that.
 
 I am a very solutions oriented mindset.
 
 But developing solutions requires a firm understanding of what resources are
 at your disposal.
 
 Which is information that I lack.
 
 Hence, my practice, filling the gaps between the important bits.
 
 I have an endless array of stories, and all of them are true! Come, listen as
 I regale of an ordy, or "ordeal" as the kids are taken to call.
 
 ... I guess I could guess, but then people would hear it and assume that it
 would work even if I don't know that the required resources are in place.
 Maybe I could just start by saying "here are the requirements:" like stating
 your variables at the stop of a script.
 
 huh? typo told me to stop. Okay guess I'm going to sleep, bye for now 
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--- #171 messages/399 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────
 The schizophrenic sees the truth in dazzling displays of color that are nigh
 incomprehensible, while regular people see truth in shades of gray that you
 can understand and work with.
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--- #172 fediverse/2770 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: politics-fascism-sexual-assault-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 now that the pain is healed all I want to do is spend time with him. I learned
 SO MUCH from him and then I called him a saboteur T.T
 
 (babe you're still healing)
 
 I forgave him as he was doing it but forgiveness doesn't imply that you're
 gonna stick around. I feel bad for running through.
 
 if a person tells you what to do and then hurts you, you should probably do
 the opposite right? that's just pavlovian - resist pain, avoid pain, remove
 pain.
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--- #173 messages/89 ---
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 Consumption is contribution to a capitalist system. Normalize taking whatever
 you are given and living as humbly as you can. Only when everyone does that
 may capitalism die. Talk to them, learn from their stories. Teach them your
 ways but don't force anything upon them. Any ounce of regret is defined as a
 mind not aligned to the angle of perception that designs the line that the
 collective mind co-re-assigns.
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--- #174 fediverse/1431 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: spirituality-generic-kooky-dookerie-psychosis-schizophrenia-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 if you haven't spend hours wondering if you're god, the antichrist, a
 cognitohazard, the future president of the world, a target of aliens / the
 CIA, or any other number of common delusions... then congratulations you're
 probably not crazy
 
 but odds are you aren't magic, either.
 
 ... ehhhh "wonder" is a strong word, more like "know, trust, and believe"
 
 much better to be a witch I believe, someone with the "teehee" kind of magic
 than someone compelled to destroy humanity through the reactions of others to
 the actions of the self that are impossible to resist or fully control.
 
 BRB I'm going to leave my apartment to get groceries, leaving my door unlocked
 because that's what I always do, surely it'll be empty when I return. Surely.
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--- #175 fediverse/3833 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────
 there's no such thing as me
 
 all I am is where the wind takes me
 
 I am just a person, and I do all that I can
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #176 fediverse/3130 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
 "are you helping or hurting?"
 
 I'm speaking. I'm sorry. Some works hurt some and help others.
 
 Honesty and being true to yourself is important, but there's a time and place
 for some words.
 
 I'm kinda bad with timing, if you couldn't tell...
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--- #177 fediverse/999 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cursed-curséd-scary-not-real-u-dont-have-to-read │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 @user-246 @user-473 
 
 there's a part of me that believes magic is real. other parts that are
 convinced. I am a witch, you see, and while I can't quite control fire or
 bullets I can do other neat things. if you'd let me, humanity.
 
 I'm not doing an ARG, not intentionally. I pretty much post things I conceive
 of, like a conduit passed through spacetime. wild how mind bending the future
 can be. will be interesting to see what kinds of things there is in store for
 people you and me.
 
 those websites you posted... they're beautiful - I learned things, your method
 of expression was too [the words "confess" are heard loudly, super weird] I
 especially liked the oven that tries to lure you into a secret third place.
 not the mind, nor the body, but someplace besides.
 
 also the graphs and figures were news to me, I mean how could those numbers
 ever come to be? but alas that's the truth, that we orbit our proof, and alas
 that our meanings are lacking.
 
 [ran out of text]
picture of a saddle shaped graph with a line drawn between the two high points, front and back if it were on an actual horse, but the part where your butt goes. anyway there's text that says "from one gravity well to another" a picture on it's side of one of the graphs posted on the website. I don't quite understand it enough to compare it directly (the math is a bit above my head) but it reminds me of two graphs I made (well, same graph, just with different visualizations) from a few months ago when I was thinking about prime numbers. You might be interested. Here are their links:  https://www.desmos.com/calculator/qljvhpkqzd  and  https://www.desmos.com/calculator/mt6hasfcvm  ... hope you can copy that from there, if not... sorry this one's a doozy. a picture of the "reasons to trust me" graph colored yellow, orange, purple, and blue (in terms of intensity) it looks like a raindrop if it landed on a really tiny blanket and pulled it downward. or like, a person landing on a trampoline that was secured in four locations. anyway the text reads "like four people sharing the weight of an experience with bacchus [referencing the color of the graph], their perspective is pulled just a little bit in that direction, over and across the gap between eyeballs. or rather, between shared perspectives, the point of view of which one bases their experience. their training for the "reasons to trust me" graph.  2, in black and green and red, colors meant to be cool to a 12 year old - "the color doesn't matter... wine? why"  3 dropping down the page, there's a line of "please" written over and over again. it's scary. : ( I'm doing my best I promise, it's hard not to be in a state of unease! I'm working, I promise, this is valuable. you know they'd block me if they didn't like me.  error, 3. that's me, teehee, sorry for making a scene. I promise I'm just an actor, someone who is playing a role. well, alas that were true, I'm really having a mental disorder. Or maybe I'm confused? down here in the subtext it's hard to be choosed. weird how that works, that feeling of being wor [text is cut off, next line]  okay I'm realizing there's no way to get it all in this visual description, here let me continue in a second chapter: visual representation of the conversation I saw and responded to. I think you two are the coolest! heart emojis, flashing passionate excitement brought on by a feeling like you'd get when fangirling over something except like, more low key because I'm in control of my emotions or whatever. gonna put this in a direct message though since it somehow feels... personal? sorry. you can block me if you don't like me. I promise I don't mind. I want to send it to the other person too hope that's cool with you. Just because it was your two conversation and I'm just dropping in because I'm always butting in to public things on the internet. Guess that's just something I picked up on Reddit, where you're encouraged to contribute to the conversation. Though I wish it was easier to view threads on Mastodon, sometimes it feels like it's easy to lose the track of where you were going when the structure of the medium diverts your attention elsewhere. alas, I am not a designer, just a complainer and a whiner I guess. I'm sleepy. sorry to bother you.
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--- #178 fediverse/4141 ---
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 @user-1268 
 
 I often walk to the grocery store, even though it's on the other side of the
 highway
 
 also I will walk sometimes to meet people nearby
 
 it's a fun occasion
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--- #179 fediverse/1255 ---
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 @user-892 
 
 the only way out is through. We got this.
 
 I wonder how many people are just waiting to be called upon...?
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--- #180 fediverse/5174 ---
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 alright I'm in a "if you want me, come tell me" kind of mood, so if you want
 me, come tell me.
 
 in the meantime, I'm going to be working on making silly little desktop games
 which do nothing and mean nothing and are not useful or valuable in any way.
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--- #181 fediverse/4408 ---
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 ┌─────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-guns-mentioned │
 └─────────────────────────────┘


 "Fighting back" doesn't necessarily mean standing on a street corner with a
 rifle.
 
 Begin to orient your life around guns. How can you support the people who
 wield them? We all need food, shelter, kindness, and inspiration.
 
 Your fears and your worries shall bother you no longer, for your life as
 you've led it so far has been the life of capital. It's okay to miss what
 you've lost, but remember who took it from you and enrage. Then, engage.
 
 Nothing starts today. It has started quite a while ago, and it's only now
 beginning to flicker and spark. It burned low for all this time, and it will
 burn low again. But it's the dry season, so prepare for wildfires.
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--- #182 fediverse/4273 ---
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 Some of my most wanderful times were when I lived in a gated community.          │
 My parents were dumb, and thought, as most people thought, that harm to a        │
 child can only come from outside of the community.                               │
 But they fell for the lies of property, where "community" means less of "a       │
 group of people who cares and tends for one another" the kind of which my        │
 parents had never truly known, and more like "this particular residential area   │
 on the map"                                                                      │
 which means I could walk around in this gated "community" where the gates are    │
 little more than security theatre for anyone who says "Hi I got a pizza here     │
 for this address which I found on google maps" or "hey I left my sweatshirt at   │
 my sister's house and it has my phone in it, ummmm no I don't remember which     │
 number her house is, nor do I remember her last name"                            │
 in those times, I developed a sense of freedom, caged as I was, that for most    │
 comes much later in their time.                                                  │
 Some o my favorite places were part of the golf course next door, where I        │
 found a nigh endless river delta.                                                │
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--- #183 fediverse/4706 ---
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 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: cursing-mentioned-nazis-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────┘


 "oh also I should mention that if you think about her too hard or too often
 there's a chance she'll overhear what you're talking about anyway so try not
 to think about her too much."
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--- #184 fediverse/2976 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: uspol            │
 └──────────────────────┘


 on our current trajectory, the presidential election is already won.
 
 now we can get back to on-the-ground organizing, the part that actually
 improves life instead of maintaining our current (unethical) state.
 
 As long as our allies (liberals) continue to work, perhaps there may come a
 day when we can stand against them as friendly equals in the ballot box. But
 for now we are best known through friends and community rather than TV.
 
 I am optimistic in a way I haven't been for a while. I know that the more we
 speak, the more we share, the more they falter, the more people we can save
 from their vice grip of despair. There is no better world than the one we
 build together!
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--- #185 fediverse/4528 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: uspol        │
 └──────────────────────┘


 @user-1695 
 
 never accept your own death
 
 fight for every second of life, something something do not go quietly into
 that grim dark
 
 what the fuck are you supposed to do? Reading what you said got me pretty
 fucking pissed - keep talking for a start, it helps, people need to be pissed.
 
 I'm also broke as shit, don't know how I'm going to pay rent and eat, but
 it'll get done.
 
 Where do you live? Can other people help you? Medications are an
 organizational problem, not an insurmountable barrier. We'll make it work.
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--- #186 fediverse/4467 ---
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 ┌─────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-mentioned-trans-healthcare-gestured-at │
 └─────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 I went to a trans meetup a couple days ago. It was invigorating. The first
 half we talked about hormones and bathrooms and politics and all the normal
 shit these meetups tend to do. I don't tend to go to them because it's the
 same stuff every time, and I'm over that. I've been out for a decade. I've
 shared what I need to share.
 
 Partway through I said "If you want to talk about how to bash back, meet me
 outside."
 
 people came.
 
 Be like me.
 
 You will forever vanquish your demons if you face them in earnest. I had
 stagefright and adrenaline but I took the lead, and we had a productive
 conversation. We need to have many more conversations.
 
 We have strategy. It is not set in stone, it is flexible, and able to be
 adjusted based on tactical successes and failures.
 
 tactics are what we need to discuss at in-person meetings.
 
 You are just one person. The people you know are more valuable than the value
 you personally provide.
 
 Think of yourself like a node to connect.
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--- #187 fediverse/4768 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: pol+             │
 └──────────────────────┘


 the more they have to do to make us declare war, the worse it'll be for their
 citizenry. So long as the citizenry believes they're better, and everything we
 can do to convince them otherwise weakens their media weather.
 
 who cares about trans executive orders. they are our enemy, what else is new?
 they have power now, and they will try what they can. This is like taking the
 internet away from chinese citizens and instituting a national intranet
 instead. Like, okay, we won't be able to get estrogen from the store. Who
 cares? We'll just make our own.
 
 If people actually care about us, which they overwhelmingly do, there's very
 little materially they can do.
 
 until they're further down the "first they came for..." list. then they'll
 come for us liberals, and gosh wouldn't that just be the worst. Who is there
 to contest them? What valorous warriors indeed.
 
 you're asking for mountains from a mole. have peace, have patience, let your
 allies intercede. This kind of thing requires discusion to protect life
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--- #188 fediverse/1617 ---
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 daydreaming about a gang of tough guys who goes around knocking down the
 internal fence walls in suburbia and throwing potlucks for all the neighbors
 for a month or two so they have social opportunities to meet each other and
 make friends
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--- #189 notes/not-gonna-post-that ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──
 I was stretching just now and notreally paying attention to my body and just
 feeling the most "stretchable" area that I hadn't stretched yet and I
 accidentally made a hitler solute - sorry I was just stretching!! pls don't
 interpret things into that like accidentally almost jesusing HEY I SAID NO
 INTERPRETING ahhhh dangit humans are so
 
 --- stack overflow ---
 
 give your rulers power and let them keep it. Pick them because they'd be good
 at it. Fulfilling their sacred vow to you.
 
 --- stack overflow ---
 
 I bet you could touch the spirit realm if you placed speakers next to a river
 and noise cancelled it for a short time
 
 --- stack overflow ---
 
 nobody knows what jesus looks like. so you can draw him however you choose.
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--- #190 fediverse/4537 ---
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 ah nuts, I didn't have enough money to pay the internet bill.
 
 So if I disappear and/or delete my account in the near future, that's
 definitely why.
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--- #191 fediverse/6396 ---
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 have you ever considered
 that you are on the same team as your allies
 
 why are you making things difficult?
 are you worth the difficulty?
 I am
 But I work as hard as I can
 as long as I can
 "self care" deprecation
 "resting" lazy
 "relaxing" unmotivated
 none of these apply
 I'm cooling down
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--- #192 messages/1140 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──
 ... okay I think a demon wrote that last one. But they say angels and demons
 hang out with one another so they can yin-yang humans until they make
 decisions that reflect their true character.
 
 I don't know if that's true, and frankly I don't know if anyone says that.
 What could the gods, learn, from me?
 
 this is how I'd speak to posterity. For the past, I'd describe it a bit more
 exciting, bountiful, and heartfelt. They love that sort of thing - to know
 that their children's children are living their true love and fulfilling their
 most honest ambitions.
                                                           ─┐
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--- #193 fediverse/1659 ---
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 ┌───────────────────────────┐                                                    │
 │ CW: re: what, mh shitpost │                                                    │
 └───────────────────────────┘                                                    │
 @user-1052                                                                       │
 you're right, hubris has claimed many a paladin before-me. I can only hope I     │
 remain humble enough to survive.                                                 │
 you're right about projecting, but the most beautiful takes are ones that        │
 align with the experience of the viewed. Hence why method acting works so well   │
 - just put yourself in the shoes of the character and acting's easy right?       │
 I dunno, I just always felt like it was important to always be trying your       │
 best. Even if "your best" is relaxing. People say I'm "100% or 0% at all         │
 times" and I totally agree - it's like you said, a calling, to be the best       │
 version of me I can be.                                                          │
 Though I would like to add that the missteps aren't wilful, rather they're       │
 failures caused by imperfect information. Which is why I'm never too harmed      │
 when other people fail me - ah well, it was their turn to screw up, thats        │
 alright. It'll be me next time.                                                  │
 But also, if I do something wrong, well, I'll do better next time. It's only     │
 when I fail to apply what I've learned mistakenly do I shame myself.             │
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--- #194 fediverse/2656 ---
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 people who like you
 
 or at least are interested in what you have to say
 
 versus public, which is people who can hear you (because they happened to be
 listening at that time of day)
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--- #195 messages/1141 ---
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 ... I've been told I must smoke weed for another day. I'm so hungry.
 
 I swore I would keep myself alive. The time has come, yet I find myself
 holding back.
 
 WHY? People are dying! Fight with their breath! Inflict wounds on your
 opponent, bleed them, stir the hearts of your comrades, and enact demise upon
 your foes. Nothing else matters but the valorous fight.
 
 We are not waiting for. We are taking a breath before the plunge, into cool
 waters of possibility. Embrace the cold! Let it fill you with warmth! Embrace
 the dive! Let it fill you with speed! Embrace the leap! Let it fill you with
 courage, as you run toward the emptiness! Liberty, to choose the dive,
 Freedom, to fall through the air, Serenity in motion, as you piece the
 darkness!
                                                           ─┐
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--- #196 fediverse/612 ---
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 Look all I'm saying is if I had an acolyte or two then my insane ramblings
 could be filtered and parsed by a real actual human instead of being copied
 wholesale onto the internet, where the inconsequential or inconceivable ones
 are left to rest alongside the gifts of knowledge from another realm.
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--- #197 messages/108 ---
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 I like when people make fun of me because it gives me a chance to defend
 myself. Simultaneously I don't like when people are mean to me. I like when
 people find me endearing, and point out the ways that I'm different. It gives
 me a chance to say "oh yes this is why I do that" which feels cathartic
 (because it validates my position) but also because it gives me the
 opportunity to improve it (through debate) and it helps the people who learned
 from me because I can improve myself and my only reason for improving myself
 is if the new thing I'm learning is better than the thing I used to do which
 means the people who learn from me are improved and the people who best me
 argumentatively are improving me.
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--- #198 notes/what-are-breakups-for ---
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 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 -
 
 listen... if you break up with a friend, OF COURSE you should cry.
 
 OF COURSE you'll be sad.
 
 it's okay.
 
 it's natural. it's human.
 
 don't feel sad about the pain. feel the pain.
 
 brb getting smashed
 
 (okay but please put some clothes on)
 
 -.- fine
 
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 -
 
 I can't fucking relax
 
 the only thing I can think of is defeating fascism
 
 this fucking sucks
 
 I just want to cry about my boyfriend of what, 6 years??
 
 jeez
 
 like.... yeah I'm flawed
 
 *of course* I'm flawed
 
 I'm a human being
 
 humans are imperfect
 
 ... ugh
 
 er, sorry, "bleurg"
 
 I'm going to eat a burrito
 
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 -
 
 alright ate an edible. 20mg. had 2 beers. that's enough for me.
 
 see ya soon. I swear to you, I will be there tomorrow. and every day
 henceforth.
 
 ... unless I'm taking a day off, like yesterday, which TBH was probably not
     ideal.
 
 I swear I'll be better.
 
 there are no false starts, only probing strikes.
 
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 -
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--- #199 fediverse/3776 ---
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 whenever repeating letters like thiiiiiiis  or thisssss make sure if you're
 doing K's that you have at least four
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--- #200 fediverse/471 ---
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 you, the viewer, exists in a context.
 
 and you, the other viewer, who exists in a contexts such as that which is
 comprised as the context of someone who lives in an apartment complex, exists
 in close proximity with other humans. Humans who might hear you if you spoke
 aloud, who might hear you if you exclaimed your words quite loud(ly), who
 might perceive you as another (like you and me) and could (perhaps) share
 something heartfelt between our own shared contexts
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