=== ANCHOR POEM ===
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the people around me are my understudies. I guess. unbeknownst to me. somehow
that makes me feel more vulnerable? like gee there's people who want to kill
me, great. scary. and they all hate me, but lust for what I might let them
become. All they have to do is master me, and then they can kill and replace
me. great. I think I'll continue to scream, thank you very much.
PLEASE PLEASE GOD OH GOD HELP ME PLEASE
yeah yeah, heard it all before. what's up this time my child?
uhhuh, have you tried turning it off and on again?
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=== SIMILARITY RANKED ===
--- #1 messages/268 ---
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I love all humans. It is unconditional.
The kind of love I have for nazis is a kind of vengeful love.
Like, the way you might love a family dog who recently got rabies, bit two
more dogs, and is currently eyeing you with terror and malice in its eyes -
the kind that only comes from the loss of compassion.
"you were kind once, as all humans are, but sometime in your life you made
choices. and now you are here.
I burn thee for my fathers
I spite thee for thine mothers
And I slay thee to fight the dragon of hate."
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--- #2 fediverse/6350 ---
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│ CW: suicide-mentioned-this-curse-will-give-you-nightmares-of-what-could-yet-be │
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the only thing that could make me want to end my own existence is ultimate
betrayal. If the nature of the universe is twisted to defile me. Nothing fills
me with more spite than unrequited vengeance.
desecreation of truth. How could you.
I would do anything to be struck down where I stand. Power is penance.
I cannot take responsibility for any of my actions, for I am infinitely
vulnerable on all fronts. Therefore, it's all my fault.
What am I? Please, tell me before the dawn, let the sun not grace me once more.
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--- #3 fediverse/2592 ---
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│ CW: re: politics-fascism-sexual-assault-mentioned │
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I learned a lot last night, and I'm pretty sure that everything I say is going
to be censored. Why would you allow resistance in such a public place?
I don't know what else to do, though. He will come for me, he knows where I
live, and I will do what I can to fight him.
He's much stronger than me. He's much more massive than me. He will kill me.
But that's not the point, is it?
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--- #4 messages/1316 ---
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I don't go to protests because they're more like yelling hatred until you get
slaughtered, instead of what I want to meet cute trans girls at which is
signing up for a militia and hunting [redacted -> their sons and daughters]
nobody knows each other on the internet. of course they're gonna vote for
individual personal freedoms. What do you mean they voted for a pedophile
acrobat? they don't even know each other! [the only reason you said acrobat is
because it rhymed] ohhhh no it's supposed to be "autocrat" but they misheard
ah right I see I see.
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--- #5 fediverse/4162 ---
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│ CW: violence-mentioned-politics-alluded-to │
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"you can't kill me because nothing I say is wrong"
... actually I kinda just think you look weird, and thats super important to
me for some reason. Also your voice is annoying and I think you're lazy
because I saw someone who kinda looks like you sitting down looking at their
phone this one time.
But hey pal if you wanna help out, can you stand a bit to the left so I have a
clearer shot of your head and also so the bullet doesn't pass through and hit
property behind you? Don't want to damage anything important after all.
"gee I sure wish we had a well regulated militia or something"
ah well the past is the past, and since this is in a potential near future, I
think the past also includes the present, and in the present there's always
time to do things about people like me.
"do something? heavens no, I'm a pacifist by nature"
well, me too! I pacify things like you as a hobby. Can't make trouble if
you're in the ground, and knowing me, you'd be lucky to be buried.
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--- #6 fediverse/1381 ---
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│ CW: death-mentioned-nuts-mentioned │
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I'm a bit of a narcissist because I had a lot of... alone time as a kid, and I
was a bit starved for attention.
but I'm also afraid of rejection so if you have anything to say I'll listen
for hours and try to be what you need me to be and give what you need me to
give so that you don't leave me.
Also, nobody has ever hurt me. And so I trust wholely and completely and
absolutely. I get logically why that's not a good move but frankly I'd rather
die than be cooperative. ah nuts better add a content warning.
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--- #7 notes/elective-democracy-electors ---
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we need like, several more layers between us and the president.
most people only need to worry about what's nearby.
sort them by location, instead of previous attempts at "many representatives"
which sorted by social class or relevance.
we have a tradition for it, in America, with our representatives and senators
congressional discrestricts
or even, what about by affiliation?
voluntary, governmental corporations, run by the people for the people and yeah
"I don't want to do what you're telling me to do" "okay"
"there will be consequences" omg be an adult
(suddenly kids forget how to be as everyone's doing the war thing)
not ideal.
ouch pain maybe we should stay a little bit sane why is soldiering so hardship?
it could just be... another job
where you didn't kill each other
but you still blew stuff up
and fought in tournaments
and had gaming hackathons
or sword-fight contests
duels between people who disapproved
y'know fun human stuff
like... "kaboom" now we know how to blow up bits of rock
neat, why did dynamite becauswer (oh right then you
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--- #8 fediverse/1280 ---
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║ I'm like the opposite of a politician. I'm crude and filthy, apsolutely │
║ reprehensible on main, kinda scary tbh? and overall just a strange and weird │
║ person. Also I talk about cooking a lot, with a very plain diet (carrots and │
║ rice and sticks and mud, because I'm an autistic) │
║ │
║ but ask anyone who knows me and I'm the kindest person. I am empathetic, I │
║ think about others needs before thinking of my own. I am steadfast and │
║ dedicated to solving the problem in front of our noses. At least, the ones we │
║ share. │
║ │
║ People tell me I'm binary, that I'm "either 100% or zero percent" and I don't │
║ really get that either. Isn't it a good thing to try your hardest? Isn't it │
║ good to be improving and honest and ethical and driven and focused? │
║ │
║ I also talk about strange things a lot, like gravity and multidimensional │
║ arrays and grand narratives and emotional kinesthesia or strategic plays in │
║ Overwatch or how to bake a good cookie or ways we still mourn us. │
║ │
║ ... where was I going with this? Also part of me is distracted. Just who th │
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--- #9 fediverse/5512 ---
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I never give up
I'm just waiting my turn
"laughs nervously"
so, uh, why dontchya'll go first yeah I've already gone first and I'll do it
again but it'd be cool if I had people going first with me sometime
"girl all you do is walk around and talk about how you bought your hat on the
internet four or so years ago"
T.T what else do you want from me I'm not a mastermind I'm a designer there's
a difference T.T
"didn't you volunteer to be a leader last year"
oh, yeah, well leaders are more than just "the ones who go first" they're also
the spiritual and emotional guiders that keep things on track once everyone
can talk about things other than their hats
... fuck I want to talk about things besides my hat. I always think of
something awesome to say just as I'm rounding the bend, and whenever I peer
back around again they're never around. Rats.
"what are you even asking for"
I don't know?? Does it matter if the horse and the bishop both take the same
square if they're claimed themselves in the end? ...wat
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--- #10 messages/1028 ---
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Struggling. Sincerely want to kill myself. I have caused irreparable harm too
many times. Many times. I don't care if people want me, i don't want me. I'm
too easy. I trust when i shouldnt and i don't when i should. I hope they kill
me at the location. Every single time my will is my own i fail. When i am
guided i am superb but when i am myself i am painting disaster on a great
piece of art. Please fight against the subway and pizza hut future. Make
something bright and bold instead. I'm going to self harm by not eating until
i don't feel this way.
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--- #11 fediverse/1151 ---
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│ CW: military-weapon-from-dream-for-suburbia-cursed-war-guns-ummmm-idk-what-else │
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saw this thing for 2 seconds in my dream last night. It's kinda cursed. I
think the tank blew me up with a machine gun?
the remaining ~10 minutes of the dream was pretty neat though. I was a secret
agent for a bit, I got in a knife fight (which I won because I had killer
instinct and the other guy just knew how to stab) and afterwards I retired in
a socialist commune in a log cabin full of sunlight and warmth somewhere in
the mountains in the forest. I was alone with others, like the hobbits after
LotR.
Also an old lady tricked me which was not nice, I was very polite with her but
apparently "ma'am there's been a safety incident, I need to get you to a safe
place" is not the kind thing to say to the person distracting you. >.>
Also, "but we like you!" is not an excuse, the military does not care if you
like them or not, if you're part of the modern bourgeoisie you are causing
harm to the country. We don't look fondly on slavers.
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--- #12 notes/i-told-them ---
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10-22-2022
i told them over and over, but nobody wanted to know.
i begged them, summer after summer, but nothing solved on it's own
now i can help them, but no-one is making a move
am i blind? is any of this forgiven?
what's not to a lot, is little but a shot,
of substance - true - but smelling like poo.
that's not inspiring. it's not even chilling.
you're broken just like your children.
oh, posterity! i claim it for thee
this feeling of wretched denial
oh, simplicity! if only our lives were on trial.
be the best you can be, sure, but take it from me
there's more to this show than our styles.
what do you think it means, for an action to have consequence?
to arbite the fate of circumstance?
every motion is an ocean
of possibilities and purveyals
think not of the commotion below.
gravity, oh gravity
how you condemn us to be!
driven by commotion,
our slithering motion,
no sense in countering ourselves.
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--- #13 fediverse/1317 ---
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║ ... if I don't do this deadline by tomorrow they'll kick me out of school. │
║ again. │
║ │
║ how am I going to be a programmer without a degree? feels useless to be me. │
║ wish I could code my own horoscope >.> │
║ │
║ o wait dummy that's called "motivation" and "the ability to follow through on │
║ your ideas and planned machinations" - yeah can I get some of that, if you │
║ please? surely just a taste of discipline, through laboring to alter │
║ conditions, surely a bit would suffice. │
║ │
║ c'mon don't fail me now. I can do this. I know I can. I know because I've been │
║ told that I can, now and again through time and time yet again, always I seem │
║ to [stack overflow] │
║ │
║ what's time if not the present amiright │
║ │
║ ... │
║ │
║ anyway... │
║ │
║ it's just git, how hard could it be? it's just calculus, it's just java, it's │
║ just... well, it's not any of those things, not really. it's memorization, │
║ it's application of tools that you've been shown (not that you've grown). It's │
║ a lack of responsibility, where is my honor? ah but I digress, I'm a carpenter │
║ at heart I guess │
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--- #14 fediverse/3880 ---
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@user-1614
oh, neat. now I can finally get to doing what I want to do, which is... all
the stuff I've been doing.
a missile without a guidance system doesn't stop just because it's GPS turned
off! It falls to the earth and explodes where it lands, which... often is on
it's butt. Not great.
I sure hope my purpose isn't fulfilled. I wouldn't know what to do with
myself. Guess I should just keep doing what I was doing, and pray that this
time I'll listen.
Though on the other hand, if I can do it, so can you. And maybe with enough
butts in the game there'll reach a critical mass, at which point change is
inevitable. Who can say, not I for sure, for my aplomb has categorized me as
slapstick I guess.
Ha. at least I can laugh at my own audacity. HA. next time I'll do better.
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--- #15 fediverse/4200 ---
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│ CW: drugs-mentioned │
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"doing too many drugs" is a traitorous act, abusive really, to your past self,
and their hopes and dreams.
or maybe your past self owes you a debt, for they never thought to think of
you. What are you to aspire to if not the dreams of your past?
and now you're here. wherever "here" is here...
...
... wait, you wanted me to talk? it's now! It's the present!
ah nevermind. you were twelve years old when you first set eyes upon this game:
https://youtu.be/qeNhQQXvpxQ
bam, there ya go, there's yer story, he was gonna give all the imp balls to
the last one at the end, to say "you were truly the strongest, here, have
these precious stones of your kin"
but he never got there, so they died with him, a thief.
... the end...
(too final, I think - maybe we could spin it into a "part two"?)
ah, I'll try I guess? dunno how. maybe he could wander the spirit world and
find his traitorous body, the one that kept his soul as a home. Somewhere
it'll turn up, and then he'll be ready and free from his roam...
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--- #16 fediverse/814 ---
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║ ah that's weird, I don't usually cry. I wonder what's going on. I should │
║ probably put myself on psychiatric drugs. Surely it's an expression of the │
║ implementation of my impending doom. │
║ │
║ ... what are you even saying bro │
║ │
║ ... um, hang on feels like some of the circuitry is off. is something wrong in │
║ my brain? yeah that's surely it, surely nothing I say would resoinate with │
║ anyone that has a non-malfunctioning brain. Surely I don't speak of logical │
║ failures in the hard founded truths of our asset [society I think? like, our │
║ conditions, our institutions, our {gosh that just... does not translate}] um │
║ right what was I saying │
║ │
║ oh yeah there's this game I'm really into called Knave, it's like D&D │
║ except the rules are very fewer. Like there's onyl 11 pages in the rulebook │
║ and it's mostly taken up by random roll tables. Like, everything boings down │
║ to a few simple rules, like rock paper scissors, or go-fish, or something like │
║ that with just afew mechanids. something timeless and pure, something that is │
║ isolated and en │
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--- #17 messages/685 ---
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If someone calls you in the middle of the night asking to be let in because
they need a place to sleep, don't let them in! Unless you know them obvi but
someone you don't know trying to manipulate you like "please I need some
shelter" like, babe no, we need to know each other first, it's dark, I'm in my
pajamas, c'mon.
If it's below freezing then okay, maybe, but... They got themselves into that
situation
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--- #18 fediverse/3891 ---
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"no, you're the opposite of a yes-man, AKA a gatekeeper. I don't know how else
to explain mentally disabled and barely keeping it together to you, but
frankly if you want to take away my house or my weed then why would I do what
you say?
... oh right, the state's monopoly on violence [can compel me to do what you
say]. Sure seems like a "well regulated militia" is supposed to be a
counterweight to that monopoly, to prevent people from harassing and
exploiting and destroying. Too bad any "militias" I can think of tend to want
me dead.
like, seriously, if you live in America, you implicitely trust that your army
will be able to protect you from the right-wing bozos who spend all their time
drinking and shooting in the woods. Otherwise, if they couldn't / wouldn't,
then why wouldn't or couldn't the right wing bozos just decide to wreck
everything in spite of our past?
We were a proud people once before, and we may be again. If only we fight at
the last.
[ever since I fell off my bike my body feels strange]
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--- #19 fediverse/804 ---
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║ evil won't feel sorry for me. and yet it's only my only weapon for me. │
║ │
║ damn these fallible input methods. the computer lies when you read the screens │
║ from it's method that it applies to th screen which is a method that you input │
║ perceive it from. │
║ │
║ and my fingers lie when received the information from my brain which I seek to │
║ transmit to you through the avenue of my brain which is my method of impulse │
║ to this world specifically you the viewer who is viewing this here in this │
║ moment the viewer who perceives the words which I'm saying. │
║ │
║ the words that are defined by the line [trajectory] of my mind through this │
║ life that we define through our actions and our mind's most crucial │
║ manifestations, this life that is defined by our circumstances. all throughout │
║ life, we are reacting to the moment, the moment which was cast forth from our │
║ ancestors and the circumstances of the previous moment, which (being cast │
║ forth) travel from the previous moment here into the moment to define our │
║ circumstances which define our act │
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--- #20 fediverse/4249 ---
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│ CW: re: politics-mentioned-violence-and-cursing-mentioned │
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wow so fiery, you're sure worked up aren't you >.
yeah it's almost like I fear for the lives of people like me who live in the
deep red sea
I think I'm allowed a little patience
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