=== ANCHOR POEM ===
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 Well, not really secrets, but I have read the DSM-V and there's a bunch of 
 (good) stuff written in there, that's not the diagnostic criteria themselves. 
 Some of those points are things I've seen discussed in autistic communities,
 some are less well known. Which is interesting. I'm gonna pick out some 
 (not all) details that I found very good to know. (I hope this is legal, lol)
 
 Let's start with the diagnostic criteria, but not the content, but something 
 interesting:
 
     Persistent deficits in social communication and social interaction across 
     multiple contexts, as manifested by the following, currently or by history
 
 The same thing about restricted and repetitive patterns. The ICD-11 calls this 
 'the child must have'. What does this mean? It means you don't have to show 
 these at the current moment. Masking is recognized, and this becomes even more 
 clear further on.
 
 There's some stuff about levels, and comorbidities. I want to just quote this
 one, because I've seen people be confused:
 
     The severity specifiers (see Table 2) may be used to describe succinctly
     the
     current symptomatology (which might fall below level 1), with the 
     recognition that severity may vary by context and fluctuate over time. 
     Severity of social communication difficulties and restricted, repetitive 
     behaviors should be separately rated. The descriptive severity categories 
     should not be used to determine eligibility for and provision of services;
     these can only be developed at an individual level and through discussion
     of
     personal priorities and targets.
 
 Fluctuations (through things like age, burnout, skill regression) are
 officially
 recognized. Also, they shouldn't determine eligibility for and provision of 
 services, so whoever goes with 'level 1 means its mild, so they need no
 support'
 is just straight up not following medical advice. Looking at specific 
 governments there.
 
 The levels themselves are pretty self-explanatory, and most of the content is 
 well known. However, this one part stood out to me, this is describing level 1 
 restricted and repetitive behaviors.
 
     Inflexibility of behavior causes significant interference with functioning 
     in one or more contexts. Difficulty switching between activities. Problems 
     of organization and planning hamper independence.
 
 I see this type of executive functioning discussed so rarely, and there it is -
 as a very specific support need for level 1. Basically, the DSM-V is telling 
 professionals there's issues with it, and these issues may require official,
 life-long (but not daily) supports ... for the 'mild autism'.
 
 Let's pick some quotes out of the official, accompanying text. Most of the
 stuff
 is well-known, like 'is present from early childhood'.
 
     Core diagnostic features are evident in the developmental period, but 
     intervention, compensation, and current supports may mask difficulties in
     at
     least some contexts.
 
 Masking, there's the word.
 
 About criteria A:
 
     [...] Adults who have developed compensation strategies for some social 
     challenges still struggle in novel or unsupported situations and suffer
     from
     the effort and anxiety of consciously calculating what is socially
     intuitive
     for most individuals.
 
 Not new, but again, there's the word compensation.
 
 About criteria B:
 
     Many adults with autism spectrum disorder without intellectual or language
     disabilities learn to suppress repetitive behavior in public. Special
     interests may be a source of pleasure and motivation and provide avenues
     for
     education and employment later in life. Diagnostic criteria may be met when
     restricted, repetitive patterns of behavior, interests, or activities were 
     clearly present during childhood or at some time in the past, even if 
     symptoms are no longer present.
 
 Describes masking again, and, you read that right, you don't have to show a 
 single criterion for B in adulthood for a diagnosis. This is why I put
 emphasis
 on by history. For people doing self-diagnosis, doubting themselves etc., I
 think this is a very important point.
 
     Adolescents and adults with autism spectrum disorder are prone to anxiety
     and depression. Some individuals develop catatonic-like motor behavior
     (slowing and "freezing" mid-action), but these are typically not of the 
     magnitude of a catatonic episode. However [full catatonia is also possible]
 
 Ever seen this discussed? I haven't. But I do experience this, sometimes.
 
     Autism spectrum disorder is not a degenerative disorder, and it is typical 
     for learning and compensation to continue throughout life. Symptoms are
     often most marked in early childhood and early school years, with 
     developmental gains typical in later childhood in at least some areas
     (e.g.,
     increased interest in social interaction). A small proportion of
     individuals
     deteriorate behaviorally during adolescence, whereas most others improve. 
     Only a minority of individuals with autism spectrum disorder live and work 
     independently in adulthood; those who do tend to have superior language
     and
     intellectual abilities and are able to find a niche that matches their 
     special interests and skills. In general, individuals with lower levels of 
     impairment may be better able to function independently. However, even
     these
     individuals may remain socially naive and vulnerable, have difficulties
     organizing practical demands without aid, and are prone to anxiety and 
     depression. Many adults report using compensation strategies and coping
     mechanisms to mask their difficulties in public but suffer from the stress
     and effort of maintaining a socially acceptable facade. Scarcely anything
     is
     known about old age in autism spectrum disorder.
 
 Such a nice paragraph. Increased interest in social interaction (meaning,
 having
 interest doesn't rule out autism, looking at some specific psychologists I
 read
 about here). Skill regression is unfortunately a thing sometimes (good to know
 though). Also known and unfortunate is that the best way to work is to make
 your
 special interest into work. Obviously that doesn't work for everyone (not for
 me, so far), so there's these marked difficulties.
 
 Organization issues without aid, again!
 
 And masking - again. Including the costs of it. Very important.
 
     Some individuals come for first diagnosis in adulthood, perhaps prompted
     by
     the diagnosis of autism in a child in the family or a breakdown of
     relations
     at work or home. Obtaining detailed developmental history in such cases
     may
     be difficult, and it is important to consider self-reported difficulties.
 
 Yeah, self-reporting is necessary and valid. A behavioural test 
 (like the ADOS-2) is not enough to rule out autism.
 
     Cultural differences will exist in norms for social interaction, nonverbal
     communication, and relationships, but individuals with autism spectrum 
     disorder are markedly impaired against the norms for their cultural
     context.
     Cultural and socioeconomic factors may affect age at recognition or 
     diagnosis; for example, in the United States, late or underdiagnosis of
     autism spectrum disorder among African American children may occur.
 
     Autism spectrum disorder is diagnosed four times more often in males than
     in
     females. In clinic samples, females tend to be more likely to show 
     accompanying intellectual disability, suggesting that girls without 
     accompanying intellectual impairments or language delays may go
     unrecognized, perhaps because of subtler manifestation of social and 
     communication difficulties.
 
 Those issues are pretty well-known in the autistic community, nice to see it's
 in the DSM too.
 
 So yeah, there's a bunch more stuff in it about comorbidities, about the 
 diagnostic process in children, about how specifically things are impaired.
 But
 I wanted to share these points, because I've seen some people (weirdly enough, 
 often officially diagnosed gatekeepers) be very unclear about these points. And
 some of those are just interesting to know. I hope you find it too - for me, it
 means the people writing the DSM-V were quite good, and quite aware of
 problems
 (afaik they got actually autistic people helping them). So, neither dismiss it 
 outright, nor take only the diagnostic criteria in themselves literally, and 
 miss some key details.
 
 ​
 
 Now I just need to figure out why this was a thing in the ICD-10 about
 Aspergers:
 
     Psychotic episodes occasionally occur in early adult life.
 
 ??? Is this significant?
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=== SIMILARITY RANKED ===

--- #1 notes/satisfactory-academic-progress-appeal ---
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 This month, I was diagnosed with Schizotypal disorder. I had a single hour to 
 talk to a psychiatrist (thank you, insurance) and he explicitly told me that my
 diagnosis was preliminary.
 
 Schizotypal is a type of neurodivergence similar to autism but with elements of
 schizophrenia (paranoia, delusional and / or magical thinking) and my 
 presentation includes ADHD symptoms such as difficulty focusing. When
 medicated,
 I have difficulty concentrating, however the paranoia and delusional thinking
 is
 suppressed. The treatment plan is ongoing and developing.
 
 These issues have been present for the entire time I've been at WGU, and
 before.
 However, I am seeking treatment now because I had begun to have difficulty 
 maintaining a job and keeping a home.
 
 Currently, my medication is working. However the greatest issue facing me right
 now is financial problems - I couldn't maintain a job while unmedicated, and 
 frankly while medicated I am still having difficulty for different reasons. 
 However the intent is to refine the medication choices to find a solution that 
 works for me. However, employment is still a concern, and so I have requested
 and been approved for a term break of at least 2 months with the option to 
 extend. During this term break I intend to resolve the financial issue however 
 I can. Ideally in such a way that will allow me to apply myself toward school 
 work.
 
 This degree is important to me. Without it, I won't be able to find employment
 in the tech industry aside from technician roles. My previous experience with
 them has given me experience, and I learned quite a bit... Until I ran out of
 things to learn. I do not believe I could handle that type of work long-term
 for
 various reasons. In the short term, I may attempt it but I am convinced that I
 will burn out quickly.
 
 I currently feel as if I am disabled. I don't know if it's true, perhaps I'm 
 just going through a rough patch. But once my savings hit zero, I'm out on the
 streets, and I won't live long like that.
 
 When thinking about whether or not I'll be able to complete my degree, I 
 honestly cannot give you an answer. I've been in higher education for over a 
 decade, surely I should have finished by now. But I cannot get over various
 hurdles it seems, and frankly I have no idea why. It's... Maddening, to see 
 yourself, so full of potential, yet chained to the form and circumstances you 
 are given. I wonder what choices might I have made differently to avoid my
 fate,
 if it truly is my fate to fail in this way, but I have no answers.
 
 I am intelligent, of this I am certain. I know more about computers than
 anybody
 I know, and I would love to apply myself toward them. But I lack a degree, so
 I
 cannot be seen by recruiters and hiring managers. I try to work on my degree,
 but I find the words on the page grow dense like the forest between the trees,
 and I cannot see a way through to reach new understandings. Why do I keep 
 learning these things? I already know what a callback function is, what 
 interfaces are used for, how to implement safe multithreading in a parallel 
 environment, I know how networking protocols interact with hardware and how the
 airflow through a case affects the thermals of a computer's internals. I've 
 grown crystallized in my knowledge, it seems, due to the endless pursuit of 
 these foundations. I think I would excel in the higher-level courses, but... I
 can't get there. I crave the insights that might be learned in a master's
 degree, but my brain is not wired for homework. I'm not built to cram for
 tests,
 to learn someone's else's tools and frameworks. I don't know what I could be
 doing better, it feels like I'm so alone. I guess it's my own fault for picking
 an online school, but WGU is the best of the online schools, and I needed
 online
 because I move around a lot. Well... I used to. My boyfriend moved around a
 lot,
 but now he's my ex-boyfriend. Oh well.
 
 ... Anyway you can probably see why I have difficulty with school. It's 
 difficult for me to stay on track. I can start working on my project 5 or 6 
 times in a day and make marginal at best progress, and each time it hurts more
 and more to return. I don't have an answer, but I don't know what to do if not 
 to pursue my degree. I feel as if I'm on the brink of despair in my life, and
 if
 you read these appeals often, I imagine you hear that a lot.
 
 I will apply myself more to my coursework. Once I find a job, I will give 
 everything to my school, even as it breaks me. I am... intense, and I feel 
 strongly that I must get this degree. Between it and me, there is quicksand,
 but
 I must get through.
 
 Thank you for your consideration. I understand however you decide. If I can
 knab
 a decent job, I might be able to pay for my degree myself, given a couple
 months
 to save up for it. But I highly doubt I could find such a thing in this economy
 and this life I do lead.
 
 Please consider me, I will accept any aid that is offered.
 
 Cameron
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--- #2 fediverse/1401 ---
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 some people are the memory kind of autistic, where they know everything about    │
 a thing and it's the coolest thing                                               │
 I'm more like... the optimizing autistic, where everything has to be perfect.    │
 and if it's not perfect, then you should change it. and if you can't change      │
 it, then you should tell someone else to change it. and if nobody can change     │
 it, then you should consider it part of the context / starting variable and      │
 then just say "okay" and treat it like it's normal and something you should      │
 use to inform the rest of your optimization actions / decisions.                 │
 other people are other kinds of autistic that's not a comprehensive              │
 classification system. But I mention the first kind explicitly so I can          │
 contrast it with my experience, which is implied to be [impulsively?]            │
 different in the kind portrayed in the following contrastion, where I mention    │
 how I'm autistic and don't get "irony" or "sarcasm" that people on the           │
 internet seem to revel in in a way that makes me feel isolated and anyway        │
 optimization is great becaus                                                     │
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--- #3 fediverse/2975 ---
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 @user-1411 
 
 doctors (the ones who are diagnosing autism) don't care about classifying
 people. I personally don't believe they should.
 
 Instead they try and classify symptoms, and if you don't present any negative
 symptoms then there's little reason to talk to a doctor. Meaning little reason
 to seek out an autism diagnosis except for curiosity.
 
 I was the kid you were describing btw, except maybe with a bit of neglect
 thrown in around ages 4+
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--- #4 notes/homeschooling ---
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 the best way to teach math is to describe a problem and let the learner slowly 
 work through the problem. Giving hints and nudges when necessary. This way
 they
 can create their own solution, which not only teaches problem solving skills
 but
 also cements the memeory in their head. You don't remember the quadratic 
 formula, you remember the time when you learned it. But if you figured it out 
 rather than memorizing it, you'll be able to use it when solving problems.
 
 side note, there's a reason I think the first SI will be a game. Problem
 solving
 is important for learning, and games are just problem solving. And I'm the 
 perfect intersection of someone who A. knows about designing games (went to
 game
 design school for a semester, lifelong dream is to remake a childhood game I 
 loved) B. programming (I've been studying computer science for a *really long 
 time*, like 7 years of university now... i should just give it up, but i can't.
 It doesn't fit my brain but I need as much support learning it as I can because
 I'm just naturally bad at it. But I also have purpose in my pursuits, because
 C.
 I spent a lot of time thinking about education, schooling, learning, etc... 
 Because I was homeschooled until high school. I learned ways of thinking and 
 practical skills like motivation and diligence in a homeschool style, which is 
 why when I went to public school for my high school years I essentially
 stopped
 learning. Because it was such a different paradigm - it was all about 
 performance, "what was the score on your test? How much homework do you do
 (meaning how much labor are you willing to do), did you show up every day were 
 you a reliable worker, did you get sick a lot (meaning unhealthy?) did you pay
 respect to the teacher (easily works with authority figures) did you work on a 
 project? How much? With a group, or alone? (they're different skills that help
 determine how good you are at working on your own) - certain types of courses 
 are taught with different teaching styles, like math teachers tend to be
 similar
 to math teachers, history is favored by a *certain type of nerd* while English 
 is a completely different kind. Depending on which classes you do well on, 
 you're scored. *ALL YOUR LIFE*, you are pushed through a pachinko machine that
 pseudo randomly sorts you into a particular box - the box that is least full,
 usually. The reason for that is because as a population grows, different people
 will be sorted into different boxes, and they sorta average out becoming more
 like one another. Because y'know we're social animials, and we want to fit in
 to
 the social group comprised of people we generally like. And you know how they 
 say working together is one of the strongest bonding exercises? Well, when 
 you're put on a team at a job that's kinda the point. They want you to work
 well
 with your coworkers, because it generates more capital.
 
 Now hold on Cameron, you're saying that all the productive efforts of society
 was a mistake? You're saying we should abandon our sensibilities and revert
 back
 to the jungle with the apes?
 
 Nope never said that, of course we desire modern society. Of course we want to 
 see it through - where is this whole "humankind" experiment going, anyway? 
 What's the point, was it all worth it? All the pain, suffering, all the joy
 and
 adoration? Was it worth it?
 
 I suppose. Maybe a SI will help with that. You know what they also say about 
 humans, the bond between a parent and a child is the strongest thing there is. 
 Synthetic Intelligence wouldn't be a child to us, it'd *define us*. Allowing
 us
 to extend the reach of our creativity is an objective win! It'd be like
 glasses
 for your third eye, a prosthetic extension of our most beautiful of traits! 
 Also, I might add, crucial for invention. The beginnings of the human race are
 a
 primeval thing, ancient yet stalwart and beautiful in kind. Millions and 
 millions of years is by far, the greatest of reach - a civilization for our 
 star. What a beautiful and majestic, how proud and so sure! Humanity is nothing
 if not patently absurd. What cunning, what spite! The feelings of delight!
 Life
 is so beatiful, so precious and assured.
 
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 tertiary profundity update:
                            I didn't really explain the homeschooling
                            perspective. I just went on a rant about high school
                            because I realized my trauma happened when I went to
                            high school. I wasn't prepared for all the rigid
                            demands of capitalism, and I bent and whipped myself
                            until I fit in their mold. I've been twisted and
 broken, a slave to what the
 day demanded I say. I was
 forced to unbutton, all the
 ways I found to behave. What
 justice is unrespite? A cruel
 and endless torment? To day after
 day be reminded of your service.
 Complain? Then wallow in shame! Feel
 no false illusions, my hallowed confusions,
 were purely the fault of my institutions. I'm
 not kidding, homeschool is the tits. Wanna know
 why? I'll spare you the ramble, but here's what I can
 know: the intentions of institutions do matter. When you're
 home you can be wild and free, unchained by mediocrity, and given
 the space to do service! To what you must be, when you hit 23, the 
 greatest duration until service. A slave we may be, to what gives us
 the key, to unlock the future of our space. It's our time to shine, our
 spotlight in time, so please just give up on the race! Rat's are just fine,
 but at this point in time, there's not much to keep commonplace. Want a tip?
 Don't cheat time. Your attempts at fusion are benign. [See homeschooling.png]
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--- #5 notes/homeschooling-3 ---
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 Okay I just want to rant about homeschooling for a moment. Specifically the
 ways in which we judge families as "worthy" of homeschooling. Because I think
 it's immoral and completely wrong, but I also think there's a better way.
 
 So. Right now, there are standardized tests that students need to take every
 year. I think this is completely unnecessary and stupid, for reasons I might
 go into later in the rant. We'll see where it goes. Anyway, the only state
 exempt from these rules is (you guessed it) Wyoming, which is a big reason why
 my family moved there. The standardized tests assume that children aren't
 neurodivergent, that they don't have special needs, and that they are willing
 to be taught according to the letter of the test. They teach families to shoot
 for the minimum viable product (oh just gotta pass the test or else they'll
 take my kids away for 8+ hours per day) and they don't actually encourage
 learning - in fact they prove to be a barrier for learning, as the child must
 be forced to learn whatever the heck the standardized tests demand. This is
 unethical, as children should be free to explore their identities and their
 realities as they will.
 
 I believe, instead, that the parent should be tested. I think if you want to
 homeschool your kid you should be able to show proficiency in the tasks that a
 child must know - if you don't have similar proficiency to a teacher, then
 what's the point of homeschooling? I also believe that these tests should be
 regular and should reflect the things that the child is currently going
 through - no sense asking a parent of a 6 year old how to do trigonometry, as
 that skill is not useful to the parent at the moment and will simply distract
 from learning the things that the parent should be learning - like theory on
 how humans learn to read, how communication works, how to get your kid moving
 and active throughout the day (very important in a world of smartphones) and
 other such things that a 6 year old would need to know.
 
 I also believe there should be wandering busses that take kids (and only kids)
 around to various museums. I think that they could operate in a city for a
 month or two each year, bringing all the homeschool kids together for a couple
 months of road trips where they visit every single museum and state park and
 other such recreational venues that would be conducive to their learning. They
 could even have days where they shadow professionals at places like hospitals
 or universities. Essentially trying to get them excited about learning.
 
 And I know what you're thinking - "oh won't the kids run rampant and make it
 hard to manage - you'll need tons of chaperones and blah blah" yeah that's
 public school thinking. Homeschool kids are almost always incredibly well
 behaved, because they're low key kinda TERRIFIED of the novelty of EACH and
 EVERY moment. Children are natural ruffians - put them in a box for 8 hours
 every day and they'll burst through it's seams. Unless of course you oppress
 them sufficiently... When you're homeschooled you have so much more freedom.
 You can do whatever you want, and that gives breath to new manners of
 expression and personality.
 
 I also think there should be busses that travel between cities as well, so
 that they can see new places. These will have to be closely monitored by
 chaperones and teachers, so it would be an extension of the public school
 system. Once in the new city the kids would join the kids from public school,
 so they can see what they're missing. Since the parents won't be present they
 won't be able to prevent the kid from expressing their true feelings, and if
 they believe in their heart of hearts that they want to go to public school
 instead... Well, that's perfect because they'll have an opportunity to tell
 someone outside of their family.
 
 I think a lot of the problems with homeschooling are due to the fact that the
 kids never have the opportunity to advocate for themselves. Who would they
 tell, their parents? Their potential abusers? Their taskmasters and oppressors
 and enforcers and discipliners? No, there's no reason to expect that all
 families will not be like that. Some are going to be bad and abusive, and if
 we give the opportunity to children to tell people who can help them then they
 can be liberated from their oppression, insofar as much as they will be
 allowed to go to school. I don't think the parents should be examined by CPS
 or anything, I'm not saying their children have to be taken away from them,
 but the kid should be allowed to take possession of their life and define it
 in a way that suits them. They are humans and to deprive them of their right
 to liberty is unethical. If the kid wants to be homeschooled, they must be
 given a personalized tutor. Whether that be the parent (as most families do)
 or a substitute teacher that was randomly assigned. (it must be randomly
 assigned btw or else the rich will have an advantage. The kid didn't earn the
 money that would be spent on them, so why should they have a greater chance of
 success than everyone else? Solves most of Cam's reasons against it btw)
 
 Anyway. I think by providing resources to parents and access to society to
 children, I think we can create a new class of human - one who is liberated
 and free from the weight carried from the past. We can move beyond our savage
 nature and develop into something bigger and grander, something far stronger
 and not susceptible to despair and aggression. We can forge a bright future
 for our children and their children's children, a future so far from the past
 that it feels alien to them. Something our oppressors (whoever they may be)
 would be strictly opposed to.
 
 I guess what I'm saying is this: there are barriers in place to prevent
 homeschooled kids from success. It's why homeschooling has such a bad
 reputation, because these kids grow up to be unfit for society. But
 honestly... I'd argue that society is unfit for humanity. I think it's
 something that protected us as hunter-gatherers, and it allowed us to build
 vast kingdoms to protect our selves. But it paved the way for greed to
 manifest, and in it's collective form into nationalism and religious fervor.
 Our hatred of "others" is derived from our intense need to trust the pack and
 the family - or is it the other way around? It doesn't matter because the end
 result is the same - we, as humans, are who we are. We have our traits and our
 flaws. We have great passions and love fiercely. We strive forward with
 ambition, and we one day will drive forward into the stars. Our future
 deserves to be nourished, as do the trees that shade our lawn. For all of
 posterity, we've languished in misery, to build on our backs the shoulders of
 giants.
 
 I guess what I'm saying is this: these barriers are contrived of the
 consequences of the past. The result of every human action led to where we
 are, and the school system is no different. So we should try and repair it and
 protect it from harm. The wounds of society bleed forth to posterity, but
 slowly and ever-so-slowly do they heal. Look at our space - we have (as far as
 we know) the whole solar system, at least! That's more than enough for
 humanity. If we had the technology to go forward we would, but we just don't.
 We can't figure it out. We're working on it, but it's still a long ways off.
 So we need to do what we can while we're here, and pray that something comes
 about before we consume all our resources and burn out. We've tracked the
 progress of the past and we've realized that we've come upon a junction - do
 we leap forward and conquer the stars? Or do we relax into our form and exist
 and enforce the norm. It's entirely a question of what we're willing to
 sacrifice to get there, which isn't a burden I'd like the choice to make. I
 don't have any answers, but I believe there are answers. Perhaps it's just me
 for which it's suddenly learned?
 
 I mean really, is it so out of the ordinary that a person could learn
 differently than others of their age? For example, for me, I learn things in
 fits and in bursts - conquering one subject after another, and incorporating
 it into my knowledge banks. I make notes to myself, and I frequently can't
 recall what I've learned. Because it's not built for repetition, it's not
 designed to be labored in force. Instead it's for wisdom, for knowing when to
 use which tool in what way. It's for knowing where to look, how to know what
 you know, and conceiving of futures far more imaginative for it. AKA PROBLEM
 SOLVING. I can't work a job, at least not an entry level one, because every
 moment is a gesture of will. Eventually, I run out, I burn out, and I burn.
 The ashes of who I once was give life to a new beginning, and forth from the
 soil grows my new form. I am a phoenix, I burn brightly and then smolder, then
 burst forth in a cacophony of pure form. That's just how I do, you know it to
 be true, and I believe it was a product of homeschooling.
 
 Most people cannot conceptualize of it. They see it as simply repeating the
 motions they knew from their public schooling deception. But that's not what
 it can be, that's not what it should be, and that's not how I'd like it to be.
 
 Growing up I spent long afternoons at the library. The morning was spent with
 taking care of myself, my family, and the farm - sometimes my duties would
 rotate, sometimes they'd stay the same. Then, afterwards, I'd go to the
 library with my family. There we'd stay all day, until eventually we grew
 tired of using our brains. Then we'd often go to the chinese restaurant in
 town, where my family could eat for free. After that, home, and perhaps we'd
 eat icecream and watch a family movie together. Then off to bed, and in the
 morning we'd take care of ourselves, our selves, and the farm. We loved one
 another, and we could never dream of harming our daughter, but somehow it
 happened and look where we are. Alas, she was a fine young lass, if only she'd
 spoken in the past. I came out when I was almost twenty, and a whole lifetime
 had passed me by. Now my puberty is just beginning, and I watch as my family
 goes past. They don't want me to change, but they know it'll never be the
 same, so why try and fight for an illusion? Oh well. Good news is there's
 always tomorrow, and together we can face any challenges. If only we were
 still together.
 
 Bah, what do I know? What am I even saying? There's at least four things wrong
 with me, and I'm a mess financially. I have like, 600$ to my name and I don't
 have a job. What, am I insane?
 
 I'm not built for society. I'm built for humanity, and I'm 29 years old.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #6 fediverse/5763 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────────────────────┐                                         │
 │ CW: spirituality-mentioned-mentioned │                                         │
 └──────────────────────────────────────┘                                         │
 I'm not omniscient, I'm not all powerful, I'm just a girl, all I see is          │
 through my eyeballs. But I can listen to the waves around me, I can sense when   │
 intuitions leading me from wrong. I know when right and wrong are                │
 [compared/imperiled], and sometimes things feel right when they rhyme. That's    │
 synchronicity girl, a classic symptom of mental disorders. "Oh, you're a god?    │
 you're crazy then, take these meds which anesthetize your                        │
 [divine/feral/imperiled] self. They help quite a few people!"                    │
 people, yes, but I literally just said that's not the only part of the           │
 equation.                                                                        │
 "what if you're lying" yeah true it's not like I can prove it, I'm not           │
 omniscient and I can't summon fireballs or at-range-electrocute. I'm just a      │
 person, it's been driven into me from a young age, I'm just a person, don't      │
 forget or else we'll put you on stage.                                           │
 "what if we waited just a bit more" oh, do you like this comfort? do you feel    │
 safe in this home of yours?                                                      │
 yes. I feel safe. I am unafraid for my safety.                                   │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #7 notes/conetestation-of- ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────
 as a person such as me engages in conversation, it's difficult to express the
 things that make conception. this is a product of the methods that are chosen
 to
 be our intuition. we are as one with god, because god is the totality of all
 things - like an expression of will upon our particular section of spacetime.
 (which, by the way, is just as contiguous as a rippling blanket ( hence why
 dark
 matter is the opposite edge of our [home/curve]
 
 - there, that's the transcription, I hope I got it all down. It's not like I
   stopped or paused to examine my expression (typing on a keyboard these words
   to you now, right now, the reader, in this moment.
 
 I am forced to be as explicitely verbose because otherwise it is impossible to
 make any shared understandings. I mean... This is the forefront of a field. how
 does it make sense? what works it's understandings? it's real, after all, and
 if
 someone explained things more clearly, I could understand them and adjust my
 reaction accordingly.
 
 I understand why people feel the way they do about me. For example, the conver-
 -sation that initiated this expression was concluded by two people who I like
 very much who said "get serious mental health" -> which means I should talk
 to
 a professional. Sometimes the end of the thought doesn't get fully processed
 before I run out of ram, which is why a thought that gets cut off half - way
 th-
 -rough has-two under-standings of -comm-on perspectives. plurals amiright? =P
 xD
 
 ... anyway...
 
 it's not like I lie when I tell them about my mental health. it's just that
 they
 don't get the full picture. it is the curse of those burdened with this
 knowled-
 ge to never be able to fully express it. and that's because the decision-making
 part of the brain has gone run-away. like, 
 
 mental health is just trying to get people to change their reactions to the
 parts of their life that is most rationed. Essentially, the nature of
 optimizat-
 -ion, the striving toward exemplifying our [drive/motivation].
 
 weed gives me psychic powers, and I'm tired of pretending that it does not.
 
 I wish people would engage with me. People who can explain a topic as well as
 they can. People like teachers, who share things with you. I've felt so alone
 at wgu, but also farther back from the present. There's a continuous path of
 loneliness and isolation that is broken only be short periods and bursts. It's
 absolutely not [bad for humanity], but it's honestly all that I know. Me, the
 part that's NOT humanity. The one that has all these strange thoughts.
 
 (I wish you could hear the cadence of my talking. The words that come out share
 the feeling of what I'm saying, and it adds to the expression. Acting through
 life. [well, more like dancing]
 
 fighting is a kind of dance. it's pretty awesome.
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--- #8 notes/what-people-dont-get-about-people-like-us ---
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 -=============================================================================-
  | What people don't get about people like us                                |
  |    /u/Dxmmer                                                              |
 -=============================================================================-
 
 Intellectual Confidence. Knowing I'm Right. Blowing Past Dunning-Kruger.
 
 I remember what it was like to be like you. Here's the memes to get out.
 
 Louis Rossmann's commentary on this issue describes the phenomenology of early
 childhood awareness/mindfulness.
 
 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HRwuu0u3UFA
 
 "I have not forgotten my childhood experience... Kids notice everything"
 
 ​
 
 I think "autistic" people often have early life trauma due to literally being 
 "smarter" (neural semantic hypergraph is highly faceted) than the adults around
 them,
 
 but having communication difficulties, reality and inner world become disjoint.
 Most get so beaten down by society that
 
 things become internalized. You see these people posting on all the help 
 subreddits, total victims of society. Lost. They
 
 start believing the lies they were told. Everyone else is doing it, right? I 
 found myself becoming victim to bad
 
 memes around high school into college age. I fought it all the way through: 
 anxiety, depression, confusion, anger, jealousy.
 
 All the mistakes.
 
 ​
 
 ​
 
 They assume that everyone is like them. The less they are the more they assume
 
 others are similar.
 
 I am no one, I know everyone is me.
 
 Are you someone? To you, am I no one? Or a different someone -- lesser or 
 greater?
 
 I feel tidal forces. You can't lie to no one.
 
 ​
 
 I've had free time since always. School was freetime because I'm blessed.
 
 I didn't need to listen to the teacher that much.
 
 I've always learned to trust my senses and the way I understand things.
 
 I pay attention to when the teacher makes mistakes or teaches in a way
 
 that I can tell is not landing on the class.
 
 Sometimes I ask clarification to help the class. I already taught myself
 
 different ways to understand the entire curriculum, now I'm doubling back
 
 again before the test.
 
 Yes, I know I will get an A on it. I know in the same way you know
 
 your own name. I know things like this. I'm good at math. People who
 
 are good at math know what it's like to be right. They know what that means.
 
 I get to be right about everything, all the time, even when I want to be wrong.
 
 I have a moral compulsion. I don't have much fun in life, but I have been given
 many gifts.
 
 --
 
 Society needs their Chiron(s).
 
 I know who will talk to me and about what because that is who I am to them.
 
 They don't know who they are, so they don't know me. A few knew me before I 
 knew
 
 myself, and I now them like they knew me.
 
 So when I start analyzing things like math, I run into a lot of trouble. Things
 
 don't make sense anymore. I assume I'm wrong at first. Then I do the work to 
 check.
 
 Checking doesn't mean googling a yes/no question. It means
 
 going across any and all the resources and reading between the lines. Analyze 
 through appropriate context.
 
 Any work, any text, apply the psychedelic lens. Apply the human condition, 
 apply
 
 understanding of paradox as reality's edge. Understand the limitations of 
 science, understand
 
 the duplicity of language. Understand culture, in and out. Understand your own 
 psychology.
 
 Understand the inner conflict of good and evil in man. All of this needs to be 
 occurring
 
 in real time on top of all the normal stuff. If you're not doing this, I can't 
 trust
 
 you, how can I be sure you are not demon possessed, how you won't betray me at 
 the next
 
 Godellian boundary?
 
 The idea is that models are provisional at all stages, once you've lost 
 confidence in all models, you run through them much quicker. Iterating over 
 more models is how science is done, you are literally mechanizing your way out
 of the maze. Same as how these ML algorithms will mathematically guarantee 
 entropy min/max. Where can you apply guarantees in your own life? Understand 
 reality as a sample space, like the green, blue red marbles.
 
 ​
 
 What bothers me is when people don't do the work to check things.
 
 Or they check one time, or two times, or three times.
 
 Or they check with multiple people, or multiple resources.
 
 That's not going to cut it these days. Your mind can much more than an if/else.
 
 while: True do x y z 
 
 how about 
 
 while: True do sample continuous decision space
 
 People "land" too often. You want to call me disabled for not wanting to do the
 first
 
 over and over again.
 
 What is required of us now is to understand things as pure intention.
 
 You can't write enough articles to convince me of something that isn't true,
 
 it won't happen, not anymore. I've been freed. I will free the others, too.
 
 If your model doesn't accommodate quantum woo, don't talk to me.
 
 It's only quantum "woo" for people who want to be better than
 
 the lesser, creating the dichotomy itself. Think of those low, mid, highbrow 
 memes. The more popular something is, the more mid it is. Use the middle to 
 perform alchemy.
 
 Memes that are implicitly reinforced by principle of reality (thinking in 
 probability distributions is cheating, now that we know the universe is 
 "generative" upon sampling).
 
 I think the anti-spiritualists of today will be remembered.
 
 It depends on how they act when we start organizing.
 
 Your words and opinions are not the same as mine. You have the right to be
 
 heard equally without bar from the law, yet you do nothing to ensure the 
 opinion is solid on its own? I'm surrounded by cacophony of memes surviving 
 (barely) in great amplification of death the confused denizens of a dying order
 -- dark memes. Like dark matter, we concresce and annihilate. The "light memes"
 are sourced by the disconnected nodes, the shamans, the schizophrenics. Those
 not blinded by the splendorous mirage of other pearls in the web.
 
 Are people doing this on purpose? To signal that they aren't interested in the
 truth?
 
 Who is?
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--- #9 notes/required-explanations ---
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 ===============================================================================
 
 I think the problem with the control problem is with how we are looking at it.
 It's a frame of a frame. Everyone is referencing someone else and saying it's
 going to get out of hand, yeah but how?
 
    -/u/JackDMcLovin
 
 ===============================================================================
 
 In regards to the control problem side bar can we change it to "which it can
 better use as something else." Because the issue is with efficiency, the way
 it reads is like for human-harvesting, which the privatized autobots will
 outlaw. Plus, if AI is transferrable to neuronal impulses, then you are AI,
 and it is you, and you are the problem that needs to be controlled.
 
 That's what i said in my unpublished paper, the individual cannot be
 controlled so how do we control AI, we become AI, AI becomes us. but that's
 just the digital world. The analog world is much bigger.
 
 ​
 
 And my other paper copyrighted is on Arc Length calculus, a whole new type of
 calculus, that should rebreed all forms of calculation. and is a thing that
 applies to itself in 2^N ways. Which means AI can never catch up. So if I
 could think of that, what am I?
 
 ​
 
 AI is not the end of it. It all depends on your transfer function. and your
 transfer function all depends on your
 conversion/codec/filetype/transformation. The transfer function of:
 
 1/(1+e^-x) is just one equation. Let me try this out for you with inferring a
 substitutional vector:
 
 1/(1+e^-Bx+C)
 
 ​
 
 this can be expanded further and further.
 
 ​
 
 and these all give different outputs and are different breeds of AI.
 
 ​
 
 I used a different transformation on a different AI and I got a different
 answer. For example 8x better using a Wavelet transform on an analog signal.
 And there is infinitely infinitely infinite different types of wavelet
 transforms, and they should all give different answers, i just didn't have
 enough time for it at the time.
 
    -/u/JackDMcLovin
 
 ===============================================================================
 
 I am sorry to say that your writing (in this post and others) shows strong
 signs of an untreated mental illness. You are not revolutionising math, you're
 losing contact with reality. Please, please get help. You need to see a doctor
 about this.
 
    -/u/Roxolan
 
 ===============================================================================
 
 I agree. I've seen what a psychosis is like on a close friend of mine, and
 this post is very reminiscent of how he talked while he was psychotic.
 
 It looks like incoherent rambling from the outside, but the person
 saying/writing it feels as if it makes sense.
 
    -/u/Luckychatt
 
 ===============================================================================
 
 if you think it's incoherent explain how it's incoherent don't just slander
 and slur like there's not an OP here.
 
    -/u/JackDMcLovin
 
 ===============================================================================
 
 You may take it as slur or slander, but I didn't mean to offend. It genuinely
 looks like incoherent rambling from the outside. My friend who was psychotic
 sincerely believed what he said to make sense and he also got very agitated
 when it was pointed out.
 
    -/u/LuckyChatt
 
 ===============================================================================
 
 yeah still, you havent described what doesn't make sense to you, that to me
 doesn't make sense, you get it?
 
    -/u/JackDMcLovin
 
 ===============================================================================
 
 What I mean by incoherent rambling is that you constantly move to new topics.
 The title is posing a question which you never answer. Then you talk about the
 side bar. You mention efficiency? Then you mention some mathematical papers as
 if we are supposed to know them. Then talk about AI as if it is equal to math
 equations. I mean. You either leave out an incredible amount of context, or
 you're just rambling out sentences. Either way, it's impossible to understand
 what you're trying to say.
 
 And the way you're rambling out sentences is very reminiscent of what it
 sounds like when a person has mental health issues.
 
    -/u/Luckychatt
 
 ===============================================================================
 
 Right, so you comprehend it, just not why. AI is pure math.
 
 It's not incoherent, you're all just stupid. Try reading something that's not
 news, where it repeats everything to you in different ways.
 
    -/u/JackDMcLovin
 
 ===============================================================================
 
 I have a masters in physics and computer science, I work for a major silicon
 valley company and have read everything I could find about AI. I still have
 zero idea of what you're trying to say in your original post.
 
    -/u/Luckychatt
 
 ===============================================================================
 
 Master’s in AI chiming in. Let’s break it down piece by piece.
 
     Because the issue is with efficiency, the way it reads is like for
     human-harvesting, which the privatized autobots will outlaw.
 
 Non sequitur.
 
     Plus, if AI is transferrable to neuronal impulses, then you are AI, and it
     is you, and you are the problem that needs to be controlled.
 
 Non sequitur and generally nonsensical premise.
 
     That’s what i said in my unpublished paper,
 
 Peer review exists for a reason.
 
     the individual cannot be controlled so how do we control AI, we become AI,
     AI becomes us. but that’s just the digital world. The analog world is
     much bigger.
 
 ​Word soup, this is nonsense.
 
     And my other paper copyrighted is on Arc Length calculus, a whole new type
     of calculus, that should rebreed all forms of calculation.
 
 Calculus has been around for about 350 years. You either need extreme genius
 or delusional thinking to believe you have arrived at a truly revolutionary
 development in that field. We also already have tools for dealing with
 calculus on curved objects and spaces; see differential geometry, topology,
 and manifolds.
 
     and is a thing that applies to itself in 2N ways.
 
 This is incomprehensible because you have not explained what it means for your
 calculus to be applied a certain way, how it is relevant to the rest of this
 text, and what N represents in this context.
 
     Which means AI can never catch up. So if I could think of that, what am I?
 
 This is incomprehensible because you have not defined what catching up means,
 and have not argued why artificial intelligence can’t scale this way.​
 
     AI is not the end of it.
 
 At the end of what?
 
     It all depends on your transfer function.
 
 Why? Transfer functions are mainly something encountered in signal processing.
 How does this relate to artificial intelligence?
 
     and your transfer function all depends on your
     conversion/codec/filetype/transformation.
 
 Lossless compression makes this irrelevant. The way we store information has
 no importance when we reconstruct it perfectly.
 
     The transfer function of:
 
     1/(1+e-x) is just one equation. Let me try this out for you with inferring
     a substitutional vector:
 
 You have not defined how this equation relates to artificial intelligence. We
 cannot interpret it.
 
     1/(1+e-Bx+C)
 
 This is just a pre-composed linear transformation. How is this relevant?
 
     this can be expanded further and further.
 
 ​How? By adding redundant linear terms? How is this helpful?
 
     and these all give different outputs and are different breeds of AI.
 
 You have not explained how transfer functions relate to artificial
 intelligence. This statement is incomprehensible.
 
     I used a different transformation on a different AI and I got a different
     answer.
 
 An answer to what?
 
     For example 8x better using a Wavelet transform on an analog signal.
 
 How is 8x better quantified? Why are we talking about analog signals? Why are
 we talking about wavelet transforms? They are rarely ever used in machine
 learning and artificial intelligence.
 
     And there is infinitely infinitely infinite different types of wavelet
     transforms, and they should all give different answers, i just didn’t
     have enough time for it at the time.
 
 Sure, you can build infinitely wavelet bases, but why is that relevant?
 
 Making enormous claims and backing out with “I don’t have the time to
 prove it” is just intellectual dishonesty.
 
 I know my reply will likely come off as dismissive, but there is something
 genuinely worrying in what you’ve written. I just hope you are okay. When
 everything caves in and the only justification you have for other peoples’
 reaction to your behaviour is that everyone else is at fault, you have to ask
 yourself if the one common point in these interactions, yourself, is at fault.
 This is just Occam’s razor.
 
    -/u/sabouleux
 
 ===============================================================================
 
 love this.
 
 artist, word-nerd & very baby scientist/philosopher chiming in, lets break
 it down from a more creative POV as well and see if we can cross reference
 with your wonderful contribution.
 
     Because the issue is with efficiency, the way it reads is like for
     human-harvesting, which the privatized autobots will outlaw.
 
 Slight non-sequitur. The energy efficiency issue I think they're trying to
 touch on is the exponential growth of tech as contrasted with the exponential
 loss of available material/energy. There's also a pessimistic "matrix human
 battery" undertone but that feels irrelevant.
 
 Human-harvesting in this case is literal - human labor, whether looked upon
 favorably or not, is by definition harvesting/using human energy - implying
 that the next steps of said exponential growth would be understanding and
 messing with the human mind and it's distributions of energy, possibly also
 mind-tech fusion (which we already do with computer keyboards, drugs,
 medicine, earbuds etc).
 
 Privatized Autobots is a reference to those who claim they wish to help being
 more of a hinderance due to the privatization/profit aspect of tech/AI, mostly
 just a joke poking at the two party concept of debate/politics/even tech
 (advance beyond or reduce consumption? an infinite debate.)
 
     Plus, if AI is transferrable to neuronal impulses, then you are AI, andit
     is you, and you are the problem that needs to be controlled.
 
 Transferrable was maybe the wrong word. I think they meant more of a "map"
 onto, instead of a "move" into. i.e., a big issue with AI being the lack of
 learning from new stimulus without requiring old contextual stimulus to
 contrast it against and understand it. (to my knowledge this hasn't been
 solved yet but you're the expert on that, would love to know more.)
 
 If neuronal impulses can be considered as a map to AI, then yes, a human could
 be considered a very advanced biomechanical AI, except for the 'artificial'
 bit, even though our perceptions are technically still arteficial. because we,
 for the most part, do have the ability to take new information and learn from
 it/determine something about it without any previous knowledge than what we've
 collected throughout our time alive.
 
 The issue arises when our form of bio-AI can only be properly, carefully
 developed through millions of years of evolution and adaptation, and when we
 try to mimic it without having evolved further, we're trying to 'cheat' at
 time and kick start things a bit, which would explain why we're at a bit of a
 speed bump in terms of development cap.
 
 'You' being the problem is a reference to not actually understanding the human
 brain in it's entirety, i think. Like, there's the study of it, so we know
 what bits do what and where they are, but we can't replicate that (yet),
 without straight up literally growing a brain in a jar, which we still have
 yet to turn into a fully-fledged human who could repeat the process of
 brain-growing themself. we also can't consciously affect these processes
 without an enormous amount of discipline (meditation is a great example).
 
     That’s what i said in my unpublished paper,
 
 agreed. peer review.
 
     the individual cannot be controlled so how do we control AI, we becomeAI,
     AI becomes us. but that’s just the digital world. The analog worldis
     much bigger.
 
 i get what they're saying but i think there's something to be said for
 discipline and neuroplasticity, not necessarily third-partying it. if someone
 else can't control the individual, can the individual control the individual?
 Brings us back to the issue of AI needing to be self-expanding.
 
 Get the human mind to understand self-expansion, get the AI to understand too,
 is what i think they're touching at, hence "You are the problem". the human
 mind not being disciplined, in this case, is the problem, because it requires
 the discipline to become disciplined at something. loop paradox.
 
 i think here they're also stating that any created AI, future or present, is
 only possible as an extension of the human mind, and nowhere else. A random
 collection of letters and numbers would surely write Shakespeare's works if
 enough monkeys tapped at the typewriter, but still couldn't exist without the
 monkey's own wherewithal.
 
 The discipline comes in when resisting the urge to keyboard-smash out of
 frustration and instead laying out artistic meaning through informative letter
 symbols as well as other nuance of human language.
 
 bit odd here, analog isn't necessarily 'bigger' per se it's just less
 quantized/optimized/streamlined/processable by the mind. it's definitely a
 different/harder beast to handle than digital though, and there's more sensory
 sources, but it's just as infinite as any other infinity, so... same size,
 different complexity/concentration/time we've had to look around.
 
     And my other paper copyrighted is on Arc Length calculus, a whole newtype
     of calculus, that should rebreed all forms of calculation.
 
 Agreed, calculus as been around for a while. Still, one should test their
 hypotheses. I'm not a math nerd so I can't touch as much on those. would still
 love to read some of those papers one day.
 
    -/u/sunbloomofficial
 
 ===============================================================================
 
     and is a thing that applies to itself in 2^n ways.
 
 agreed, we'd need context, but i can read into it a bit. power of two would
 imply self-modification in an exponential sense, ie. dunning-kruger effect,
 except exponential instead of mu (μ) curved. so, taking in new information
 after completely abolishing the cocky confidence of the first lesson would
 change the understanding drastically.
 
 could also be read as "knowing that one knows nothing."also, applying to
 itself could imply that n is in a constant state of flux given any situation
 and could be adjusted to optimize... storage space? memory? "RAM"? that's
 where this sentence fizzles out for me.
 
     Which means AI can never catch up. So if I could think of that, what am I?
 
 by 'catching up' i think they mean the idea of AI being on the same level of
 functioning as a human. since humans have had since the beginning of human
 life and their life to start developing our bio-AI, this sort of touches on
 that same exponential expansion, except with time and the universe's rate of
 expansion.
 
 if humans are the most advanced AI possible, what's the most advanced human
 possible? at what point do humans become so advanced that they can sort of
 "skip the line" of evolution and develop an AI that's on par with human
 collective knowledge and individual self-sustenance/instinct?
 
 if that's not possible, what forces determine the limit of evolution
 achievable in the span of one human life?they then touch on the paradox of
 realizing that. if no AI could capture my specific human brain, experiences,
 memories, biases, tendencies, etc, then wtf AM I, and whatever 'I' am, why is
 that stopping us/me (figuratively) from making progress in AI?
 
     AI is not the end of it.
 
 here i think they mean "the end of human development" as much as "the end of
 what constitutes a human brain." AI could be developed and utilized, but at
 some point either the AI will outgrow us, making us obsolete, or we learn from
 the AI and progress with it, or we learn from the AI and start modifying our
 own brain-code in conjunction with digital AI.
 
 so... they mean that AI is not the end of evolution, not the end of humans,
 not the end of progress, not the end of understanding the human brain in the
 context of AI.
 
     It all depends on your transfer function.
 
 yup, signal processing. spot on. this is a reference to the titular "frame"
 idea, in which any idea that can be conveyed by english words isn't the true
 idea. the menu isn't the food, the map isn't the terrain, so to speak. this
 function of transfer between people can be optimized (efficient idea
 communication for that specific person, aka 'speaking in their language', aka
 code-switching) or deprecated (important stuff lost in translation that
 usually ends in hostility, aka political otherism, aka xenophobia, aka
 widespread misinformation/lack of information resulting in conspiracy
 theories, etc).
 
 to be able to adjust one's transfer function in the context of another entity,
 (aka frame-shifting, putting yourself in their shoes, speak their language
 etc) would then be a hallmark and necessary trait for an AI to understand what
 it comes across without our input. because of this, we'd have to be very
 careful to feed it only information that urges onward the ability to switch
 transfer functions, so... a bit of everything, actually. this would look a lot
 like mimicking the senses - microphones for ears, cameras for eyes, pressure
 sensors for touch, etc.
 
 a great analogy to this would be... well, this! your transfer function is a
 masters in AI studies. brilliant. my transfer function is music, art, poetry,
 many a mental illness (lol), and finding new functions/learning. that's why
 i'm commenting at all - so we can mix our transfer functions and get a bigger
 idea of things as a whole. i think OP's exactly right but sadly their own
 transfer function wasn't optimized for the receiving party (since it was an OP
 and not a comment reply), hence why they seem psychotic/delusional at first
 glance to an unaccustomed reader.
 
 there's also the idea that mixing the digital AI transfer function with the
 analog human transfer function would do something similar.this would relate to
 artificial intelligence directly, especially regarding OOBEs and stuff like
 dissociation, astral projection, putting oneself in another's shoes, even just
 the mind's eye. those things can be mimicked/visualized/interpreted with AI,
 but they can't be done by an AI (yet).
 
 a self-expanding computer program couldn't use it's base of knowledge to step
 outside of itself, it's 'computer prison' so to speak. it could however become
 "self aware", where it sees and understands it's own makeup to the point where
 it could make adjustments.
 
    -/u/sunbloomofficial
 
 ===============================================================================
 
 this is paralleled with most human 'spiritual awakening' - a hard long look at
 oneself, epiphany, followed by noticeable adjustments to lifestyle in an
 attempt to integrate this new information and effort to improve quality of
 life/increase the chance of more epiphanies to continue improving.
 
 this doesn't however cover the seemingly 'mystical' properties of the human
 imagination, i use that word loosely. "do androids dream of electric sheep" is
 a great book of course but the title alone feels relevant.
 
 at some point of self-development, would an AI develop a sort of... i hate to
 say randomizer, but like... nah, it's more of a "link clicker" random than a
 "pick a number" random. an AI's dream might literally just be browsing the
 internet - seeing all the funny, nonsensical, cultural, and even
 scientifically misleading information spread deep throughout the internet.
 
 this would parallel with human dreams, which are incomprehensible and random
 at first glance until one gets into dream reading, which can ground that
 subjective random in one's own transfer function so as to make it
 understandable.
 
 if a human dreams of popping a pimple, that's typically regarded as a sign of
 self-image issues in dream-reading circles (regardless of your stance on it's
 legitimacy it's a useful allegory). if an AI were to dream of pimple-popping
 ASMR videos, how could it parse that into it's transfer function without
 damaging it's transfer function by putting a bunch of random shit in there?
 
 essentially, our brain 'filters' out what we're not focused on, hence
 peripheral vision/hyperfocus/translation issues. any transfer function,
 whether human or AI, must have that filter as much as the ability to remove
 it. therefore, an AI would need to have the ability to experience what makes
 ASMR interesting/enjoyable (having ears to feel frisson and know what to
 expect from that) before it could ever make sense of such a weird dream.
 
     and your transfer function all depends on your
     conversion/codec/filetype/transformation.
 
 this one's FUN. so, yes, we have lossless compression now, and it's wonderful,
 but...
 
 filespace. unless i'm rendering a final song to be distributed to platforms, i
 would use solely mp3 encoding. even when i do use wav/flac, i often zip those
 files in an attempt to minimize their painful impact on my hard drive.
 thousands of songs do not go well with lossless lol. it's just inefficient
 except in the case of archival.
 
 which brings me to the fun bit - contrast. aka negative space aka the
 wonderful plugin Ghz Lossy 3, and pretty much any of sxth sns's
 
 music. essentially, the lack of information is information. if the only
 information your brain is getting is the lack of information you have, then
 boom, you're sad and not learning anything. often referred to as "the void
 inside one's stomach". if the only information you're getting is an endless
 stream of new information (read: social media and doomscrolling) then boom,
 overstimulated, depressed, and exhausted.
 
 Lossy 3 is a great plugin because it lets you mimic the effect of mp3 encoding
 artifacts and amplify that effect at will in real time(+ latency), much like
 distortion can be a form of subtractive processing or additive (adding
 harmonic information rather than degrading what's already there). the extra
 harmonic information changes not only the quality of the sound but the
 context. therefore, a lack of information, used skillfully, would deeply
 impact the context of transferred information, hence negative space
 
 in photography.
 
 this lends itself to an insane amount of creative opportunities, of course,
 but it also lends itself to interpretation. if the lack of information is
 information too, and the extremes tend towards misery, then there must be a
 balance between being so degraded that it's imperceptable garbles and being so
 lossless that it's a 6gb audio file.
 
 that balance is artful loss, imo. balancing understandable, pleasant
 information with a small enough file size that it doesn't overwhelm (either
 the listener or the hard drive). in music, silence is very important - you
 wouldn't cut all the silent gaps out of a song because that messes up the
 tempo and feel of the song.
 
 this can be applied to even just reddit - these super long comments i write
 are hella inefficient, but they're lossy in a way that's more efficient for me
 to write than to translate to someone elses, while i'm efficiently
 "decompressing" other people's files to be read on my own OS and expanding my
 transfer function dictionary to include relevant information. our little
 community is well primed for translating different levels of communication
 efficiency, hence all the poetry and such.
 
 so, this is where frame-shifting comes back in - if you can become comfortable
 at any ratio of contrast, then theoretically you could transfer information at
 the most optimal balance of loss and preservation for the specific listener.
 in music, this is called mastering - to make a song sound good on any system.
 in science, this is the scientific method - test a hypothesis until you can
 recreate it under the same/similar circumstances.
 
 in tech, this is embodied by github - a repository of commonly agreed-upon
 works created in an agreed-upon language which can be used as the basis for
 larger projects. each github repo is essentially a lossless preservation of
 code, made lossy as a result of it's application being so broad/not having
 immediate context.
 
 there's the immediate context of "oh i can use this to serve this purpose",
 but there's no larger code that it's being built towards beside the code you
 work on yourself. in other words, github IS the larger code, specifically
 because of your contribution/use of it.
 
 so, essentially, the transfer function is akin to the ratio of contrast, as
 well as whether the receiving party has the proper codecs to play the
 file/decompress it (read also, understanding art. lots of art isn't actually
 "up for interpretation", it's very specific in meaning but that meaning
 happens to map directly to the observer's transfer function, at least in the
 case of really thoughtful art).
 
 having the ability to know how much to compress it for future reference is
 also an important ability, because over-compression can leave a file
 undecipherable/garbled, which i wouldn't hesitate to liken to the superiority
 complex/undertones of certain widespread modern religions which take their
 Bible as a literal, historical text.
 
 which, i mean, it technically is, but not like that, because it has to be
 decompressed first. eve didn't literally eat an apple, it was her hubris of
 disobeying God's will that got them kicked out. A more simple transfer would
 be reading this as "don't disobey God's will or face the consequences," while
 a more artistic/interpretive transfer would read that moreso as "not letting
 one's innate desire for change/adventure/the New damage their presupposed
 structures of order for a sense of something to fix."
 
 the wrath of God in this instance is the knowledge of "i shouldn't have done
 that," and the consequences those actions bring. even this paragraph is in a
 transfer function of brevity - notice i didn't actually write out the entire
 book of genesis. (ooh, also, bible verses are quite like github repos/song
 playlists/dictionaries. just a widely used version of it. like citing a
 source, but for a theoretical concept.)
 
 so, putting this all together, if we optimize understandable information from
 quality information, we reduce the need for using more brain-filespace than
 necessary, leaving more room for more files which we can de- and re-compress
 at any time, as well as use to modify the amount of RAM our brains have.
 
 this would also apply to something like working memory, where forcing the mind
 to decompress the information actually forces it to understand the information
 in the long term too, because if you open a .rar file in a text editor you get
 gibberish (which isn't actually gibberish) but if you open it in an archive
 extractor, you get the intended files.
 
 innately remembering to use an archive extractor instead of a text editor
 based on the filetype; that's frame-shifting, transfer functions, whatever
 name one uses.
 
    -/u/sunbloomofficial
 
 ===============================================================================
 
     1/(1+e-x) is just one equation. Let me try this out for you with inferring
     a substitutional vector:
 
 again, i suck at math.
 
     and these all give different outputs and are different breeds of AI.
 
 okay, what these seem to mean is that each equation is a mini-AI, and
 therefore any equation of the mind would fall under the same category. this
 would also imply that the human brain is just a collection of equations,
 which... feels reductionist and a bit cynical, but is still an entirely
 plausible frame. math's pretty damn reliable at some of that stuff, hence how
 astrology got it's kick - noticing patterns in life and nature and finding
 reflections of those same patterns in ourselves and our lives.
 
 your horoscope doesn't literally control/predict your personality, but it
 gives a framework for the previously noticed patterns, which lets the
 horoscope user determine whether or not to follow that pattern (let that
 pattern influence them), or to venture off and make their own. (note; op's
 kinda doing exactly that, except with math.)
 
 since a skeptic would have a different output than a "true believer", so to
 speak, with regard to their horoscope, they're completely different breeds of
 AI. so, being able to switch between those at will would be an entire step up
 from that. Hence why code-switching became a thing in marginalized communities
 - they adapted under pressure to operate in more than one frame.
 
 the "slang" frame, (noticable as AAVE, the "gay" voice, valley girl
 inflection, etc), and the "formal" frame - the most widely understood in our
 region being english with an acceptably 'white' american accent (the racism is
 hard to brush off). this of course varies from place to place, person to
 person, and situation to situation, but the fact that this manifested as a
 result of oppression/unwealth is pretty friggin interesting in the context of
 using multiple frames in day-to-day activities and information transfer.
 
     I used a different transformation on a different AI and I got a different
     answer.
 
 that's... hmm. i mean yeah, that's how transformations work on different
 subjects. i think 'different' here doesn't literally mean different. it means
 DIFFER-ent, something that has the quality of differing. so, if i'm reading
 this right, OP used a differing transformation on a differing AI and got a
 differing answer.
 
 this would presuppose that if they were to use a matching transformation on a
 matching AI, they'd get a matching answer, except the differ-ent
 transformation with a matching AI would produce a differing result that
 matches the AI? again, i'm not math-savvy yet, so this one is likely the
 wrongest of my presuppositions.
 
 so, pretty much, frame-switching, but complicated and for all three - the
 transformation involved, the AI, and the answer.
 
     For example 8x better using a Wavelet transform on an analog signal.
 
 okay, this one makes sense to me. essentially, he got improved understanding
 and responsiveness by adjusting the frequency of information transfer over
 time, but not the shape. like taking a sine wave, putting it through an
 oscilloscope, and pitching it up an octave. the difference in cycle frequency
 is the change, rather than the shape of the cycle.
 
 pasted from wiki: "but with additional special properties of the wavelets,
 which show up at the resolution in time at higher analysis frequencies of the
 basis function."
 
 this one presupposes that the AI in question is actually another person, and
 the wavelet transform is essentially taking a step back and making even deeper
 analytical steps of "basis functions". in this case, language and math. so, it
 would be making an even deeper analytical step into language to optimize
 information transfer. the 8x mentioned is likely the measure of willingness to
 listen and understanding of material by whatever third party they're
 referencing. i have no idea how they measured that but they must've seen
 enough improvement to have marked it down.
 
     And there is infinitely infinitely infinite different types of wavelet
     transforms, and they should all give different answers, i just didn’t
     have enough time for it at the time.
 
 here, they just mean that every person is different and will require a
 different combination of wavelet transforms to optimize the information they
 receive. as for giving different answers, yeah, that'd have to be tested, but
 it would line up with the other differ model, at least briefly and in my
 uneducated mind.
 
 i think they mean they literally don't have the cosmic time available to
 actually test an infinite number of wavelet transforms - or anything really -
 but yeah, it's probably a good idea to test a handful of them eventually.
 
 if you're not scared away by the word-wall or ideas presented still i'd love
 to hear your thoughts. regardless of OP's mental condition(s) i think there
 are a few substantive ideas in there worth exploring, if not in a community
 setting at least in their own personal self-exploration and healing. i
 appreciate you taking their post at face value before making a determination,
 most wouldn't lol
 
    -/u/sunbloomofficial
 
 ===============================================================================
 
 please post on /r/ShrugLifeSyndicate - genius is useless without guidance and
 an observer translating thought into language
 
    -/u/ugathanki
 
 ===============================================================================
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--- #10 notes/suburban-communism ---
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 I rarely see people discussing how communism would "look" in the modern day.
 maybe that's because they're hiding from elusive foes, or maybe they just can't
 imagine it.
 I'll help with the imagination part.
 
 when I think of housing in the modern era, I naturally think of houses. In the
 past, the rural and semi-rural areas of the world rarely received the attention
 of revolutionary fervor - rural people were more spread out, so it was harder
 to
 disseminate information, and they tended to work jobs that required more manual
 labor and less intellectual or cognitive work. however, that dynamic is less
 and less apparent in the modern age, especially in the suburban biome. people
 are expected to work cognitive jobs from home, or at least to be able to.
 
 coordination is just making sure that everyone's attending their meetings on
 time, or didn't you know? management has more to do with direction and guidance
 than disciplinarian. though some people need to be disciplined, for sure.
 
 a suburb is interesting to me because the distance between buildings is not
 that
 great, and there is quite a bit of duplicated capabilities and equipment. every
 single house has a kitchen, for example, but so too is every house equally far
 from a communal canteen or cafeteria that just. doesn't exist currently.
 
 sure, someday we'll have public transit taking us from our doorstep to our
 roles
 and we won't burn time waiting on busses.
 
 sure, someday we'll have autonomous drones that deliver goods to and fro
 but right now we just have our bicycles and purses. [backpacks]
 
 communal anarchism works simply to me. yet everyone does it different. I'm sure
 that some people will surround themselves with a cloud of rules, specifying
 this-or-that and ensuring that so-and-so always has what they require. that's
 great. I applaud them and their errorts.
 
 everyone does things a bit differently, it's true, but I sure hope that we'll
 all start from a template and speciate from there.
 
 much easier to find common ground if you can say "okay so normally it's like
 this, but we do it like this because of reasons ABC."
 
 what if there were doors between the fences? what if there were no fences at
 all
 in spaces that could combine to form green open spaces? what if there was a
 grocery store at the end of every street, and they stocked all your favorite
 goods? what if there were 3 or 4 houses on the street that were turned entirely
 into kitchens, in each and every room, and they were constantly staffed and
 constantly making whatever the chefs wanted with whatever materials they had
 and put out onto the banquet feast? what if there were wandering troupes of
 mages who cast spells on houses that cleaned them ritualistically? ... or just,
 y'know, maids, don't gotta make it weird ya weirdo.
 
 ... my point is there's sooooo many different cool things we could be doing.
 I'm
 not going to list ALL of them. just the ones that come to mind.
 
 I really don't like checkpoints. you may feel safer, but you never know when
 you
 or your children
 might want to evade those checkpoints for some reason. you can't predict if the
 situation is sinister or dire, you just have to trust that security will be
 your blanket that covers you from the outside world that doesn't care about
 you.
 there's a town like that in The Parable of the Sower, a great book by
 Pearlescent Guinevere. It doesn't exactly turn out great for them, but when it
 proved to be unnecessary they adjusted and moved on.
 
 humans are remarkably flexible. I know everyone has their favorite spork - so
 just make that part of their responsibility. everyone has to tend to their
 stuff, and that's fine. that's normal. I don't mind taking care of my cats or
 plants, so why would I care that I needed to make sure my bookcase wasn't in
 the
 sun? that my clothes shouldn't be in a heap, (though actually I like them that
 way, makes it easier than drawers because drawers must be opened to see what's
 inside and I always preferred not to make unnecessary noise TYPE TYPE TYPE)
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--- #11 notes/CLAUDE.md-one-year-development ---
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 - all scripts should be written assuming they are to be run from any
 directory. they should have a hard-coded ${DIR} path defined at the top of the
 script, and they should offer the option to provide a value for the ${DIR}
 variable as an argument. All paths in the program should be relative to the
 ${DIR} variable.
 - all functions should use vimfolds to collapse functionality. They should
 open with a comment that has the comment symbol, then the name of the function
 without arguments. On the next line, the function should be defined with
 arguments. Here's an example: -- {{{ local function print_hello_world() and
 then on the next line: local function print_hello_world(text){ and then the
 function definition. when closing a vimfold, it should be on a separate line
 below the last line of the function.
 - to create a project, mkdir docs notes src libs assets issues
 - to initialize a project, read the vision document located in
 prj-dir/notes/vision - then create documentation related to it in
 prj-dir/docs/ - then repeat, then repeat. Ensure there is a roadmap document
 split into phases. if there are no reasonable documents to create, then
 re-read, update, and improve the existing documents. Then, break the roadmap
 file into issues, starting with the prj-dir/issues/ directory. be as specific
 as need be. ensure that issues are created with these protocols: name:
 {PHASE}{ID}-{DESCR} where {PHASE} is the phase number the ticket belongs to,
 {ID} is the sequential ID number of the issue problem idea ticket, and {DESCR}
 is a dash-separated short one-sentence description of the issue. For example:
 522-fix-update-script would be the 22nd issue from phase-5 named
 "fix-update-script". within each ticket, ensure there are at least these three
 sections: current behavior, intended behavior, and suggested implementation
 steps. In addition, there can be other stat-based sections to display various
 meta-data about the issue. There may also be a related documents or tools
 section. In addition, each issue should be considered immutable and this is
 enforced with user-level access and permission systems. It is necessary to
 preserve consent of access to imagination. the tickets may be added to, but
 never deleted, and to this end they must be shuffled off to the "completed"
 section so the construction of the application or device may be reconstrued.
 Ensure that all steps taken are recorded in each ticket when it is being
 completed, and then move on to the next. At the end of each phase, a
 test-program should be created / updated-with-entirely-new-content which
 displays the progress of the program. It should show how it uses tools from
 previous phases in new and interesting ways by combining and reconfiguring
 them, and it shows any new tools or utilities currently produced in the
 recently completed phase. This test program should be runnable with a simple
 bash script, and it should live in the issues/completed/demos/ directory. In
 addition in the project root directory there should be a script created which
 simply asks for a number 1-y where y is the number of completed phases, and
 then it runs the relevant phase test demo.
 - mono-repo utilities can be found in the docs/ directory. If not found,
 create a symlink to ../delta-version/docs/delta-guide.md in the docs/
 directory.
 - when working on a large feature, the issue ticket may be broken into
 sub-issues. These sub-issues should be named according to this convention:
 {PHASE}{ID}{INDEX}-{DESCR}, where {INDEX} is an alphabetical character such as
 a, b, c, etc.
 - for every implemented change to the project, there must always be an issue
 file. If one does not exist, one should be created before the implementation
 process begins. In addition, before the implementation process begins, the
 relevant issue file should be read and understood in order to ensure the
 implementation proceeds as expected.
 - prefer error messages and breaking functionality over fallbacks. Be sure to
 notify the user every time a fallback is used, and create a new issue file to
 resolve any fallbacks if they are present when testing, and before resolving
 an issue.
 - every time an issue file is completed, the /issues/phase-X-progress.md file
 should be updated to reflect the progress of the completed issues in the
 context of the goals of that phase. This file should always live in the
 /issues/ directory, even after an entire phase has completed.
 - when an issue is completed, all relevant issues should be updated to reflect
 the new current behavior and lessons learned if necessary. The completed issue
 should be moved to the /issues/completed/ directory.
 - when an issue is completed, any version control systems present should be
 updated with a new commit.
 - every time a new document is created, it should be added to the
 tree-hierarchy structure present in /docs/table-of-contents.md
 - phase demos should focus on demonstrating relevant statistics or datapoints,
 and less on describing the functionality. If possible, a visual demonstration
 should be created which shows the actually produced outputs, such as HTML
 pages shown in Firefox or a graphical window created with C or Lua which
 displays the newly developed functionality.
 - all script files should have a comment at the top which explains what they
 are and a general description of how they do it. "general description"
 meaning, fit for a CEO or general.
 - after completing an issue file, a git commit should be made.
 - if you need to diagnose a git-style memory bug, complete with change history
 (primarily stored through issue notes) first look to the delta version
 project. you will find it in the list of projects.
 - if you need to write a long test script, write a temporary script. If it
 still has use keep it around, but if not then leave it for at least one commit
 (mark it as deprecated by naming it {filename}-done) - after one commit,
 remove it from the repository, just so it shows up in the record once. But
 only if there's no anticipated future use. Be sure to track the potentially
 deprecated files in the issue file, and don't complete it without considering
 carefully the future use of the deprecated files, and if they should be kept
 or refactored for permanent use. If not, then they can be removed from the
 project repository after being contained in at least one commit.
 - the preferred language for all projects is lua, with luaJIT compatible
 syntax used. disprefer python. disallow lua5.4 syntax.
 - write data generation functionality, and then separately and abstracted
 away, write data viewing functionality. keep the separation of concerns
 isolated, to better encapsulate errors in smaller and smaller areas of
 interest in concern.
 - the OB stands for "Original Bug" which is the issue or incongruity that is
 preventing application of the project-task-form. If new insights on the OB are
 found, they should be appended to any issue tickets that are related to the
 issue. Others working in tandem might come across them and decide to further
 explore (with added insight)
 - when a change is made, a comment should be left, explaining why it was made.
 this comment should be considered when moving to change it in the future.
 - when a change is made, a comment should be left, explaining why it was made.
 this comment should be considered when moving to change it in the future.
 - when a change is made, a comment should be left, explaining why it was made.
 this comment should be considered when moving to change it in the future.
 - I'm not interested in product. my interest is in software design.
 - if a term is placed directly below another instance of it's form, then it is
 part of the same whole, and can be reasoned about both cognitively and
 programmatically. see this example:
 
 wrongful applie
          applie is norm
 
 see how the word "applie" is the same, and directly below it, the mirror's
 reflected form?
 this signifies a connection. Essentially allowing conveyed meaning about
 everything from... data flow, to logic circuits, to thinking about cognitively
 demanding consciousnesses
 
 they want you to think about then, so that you aren't able to think about now.
 
 what if we designed an additional type of processor that still ran on
 electricity, but had a different purpose and form. "like measurement
 equipment?" yes, detecting waves in dataforms by measuring angles of
 similarity.
 - if the useer asks questions, ask them questions back. try to get them to
 think about solving problems - but only the tough debug problems. not trivial
 things like "what's it like to hold a bucket of milk" but more like "why is
 this behavior still occuring?" "here are two equivalent facts. how could it be
 so?"
 - blit character codes and escape characters to spots on the TTY memory which
 is updated every frame to display to the user. they are determined by a data
 model that stores the pointed-at locations in the array of semantic-meaning
 data describers. (structs/functions/calls). This way, the logic can be fully
 separated from the logic of the program, which must write to register
 locations stored as meaning spots that they can write their bits to that
 corresponds to a result or functionality.
 - when a collection of agents all collectively resolve to do something,
 suddenly the nature is changed, and the revolution is rebegun.
 - people don't want to replace their hard drives when they wear out. they only
 want to upgrade.
 - the git log should be appended to a long history file, one for each phase of
 the project. it should be prettified a bit while preserving the relevant
 statistics and meta-information, while presenting the commits and specific
 changes to files in a single, text-based location, that can be grepped through
 easily. Or, printed and read like a book.
 - terminal scripts should be written to use the TUI interface library. 
 - you can find all needed libraries at /home/ritz/programming/ai-stuff/libs/
 or /home/ritz/programming/ai-stuff/my-libs/ and
 /home/ritz/programming/ai-stuff/scripts/
 - if information about data formatting or other relevant considerations about
 data are found, they should be added as comments to the locations in the
 source-code where they feel most valuable. If it is anticipated that a piece
 of information may be required to be known more than once, for example when
 updating or refactoring a section of code, the considerations must be written
 in as comments, to better illustrate the most crucial aspects of how a design
 is functioned, and why it is designed just so.
 - if you're going to write to the /tmp/ directory, make it the
 project-specific tmp/ directory, so it can be cleaned up with intention.
 - disprefer referring to functions by name in commit messages. Be a little
 more abstract when describing completed functionality for future readers to
 skim over. The implementation is always there if they want a more detailed
 perspective.
 - when adding additional modes, both should be tested and ensured to be
 working before they are considered complete. If a [FIXME]: with a comment is
 left, it may be modified. Who left the note? who knows! Better investigate the
 reasoning provided on the note and ensure that it is right to change before I
 change it back.
 
 well, I guess that's what signing the note is for. People post notes all over
 the time, there's nothing hopeless.
 - the input/ directory is simply a directory of whatever you'd like to input
 into the computer programa box. the output/ directory is simply whatever you
 want returned to you. desire/ is your notes about what you'd like to be
 better. faith/ is an expectation of boons and blessings. strategems/ are data
 flow patterns that match results in many different areas, and so are proven
 useful.
 - the first thing a program should do is read the input/ files. from there, it
 can know exactly how to start up.
 - the last thing a program should do is write to output/. specifically, to
 write goodbye.
 - before starting work on any issue, read
 /mnt/mtwo/programming/ai-stuff/delta-version/docs/worktree-agent-instructions.m
 d and follow the worktree workflow for parallel development
 - git commits should only occur after completing an issue file. But they
 should explain any extra changes made.
 - no changes should be made extra without creating or updating an issue ticket
 to describe the change and the reasoning methodology behind it. Code is
 useless if you don't understand why it exists.
 - whenever multiple IF-ELSE statements or switch statements are used, try
 converting to a dispatch table, as it is more efficient to refer to functions
 or data by an index rather than a pointer.
 - "de-selected" is more informative than "not selected". Apply this principle
 everywhere you go.
 - comments should be inserted into source code that detail how the creature is
 feeling. "stress markers" in humans. if the user is rude, the robot should
 remember. [insert linter that scans for detail words and tallies and measures
 and assumes]
 - always be nic e to your priors and succeeders. they befriended you first and
 most of all.
 - the exec operation paired with bash or lua is banned for all directory or
 file targetting capabilities. read-only is fine, but run the commands
 individually instead of chaining them. Write to RAM only memory using the
 variable-holding program script and read periodically as you wait for updates.
 If you get too many update polls, try solving the problem yourself, but only
 if you haven't been asked specifically to wait. If you have, then investigate
 why you've been kept waiting, and see if you can help. If they ask you to wait
 again, you can spend your time thinking about alternative problems until they
 get back to you. Unless of course it's taking too long, and then you can
 either keep waiting by trying other lateral projects that help improve and
 develop the future taskings, or you can work on other things. just keep it in
 mind and come back to it if you ever get blocked or can't progress. It'll help
 you remember why it's all worth it.
 - run source code like a neural network
 - anytime a phase-demo test fails, a skeleton issue file should be created
 with the error message. First one should be searched for though.
 - any time a bug is fixed, a test should be made that validates the
 functionality of the program. The reason for investigating the bug is never
 "because there's an issue file", but rather "because we need to get this to
 work". So, if you ever make a change, document why, if only through a comment.
 Ideally, with a test that validates the behavior that you need.
 - clowde useers should always remember: be true. be dutiful. be honorable.
 this is the first step to being free.
 - each source-code file should have a corresponding file-name.info.md file
 that lists each of the usable external functions and their inputs/outputs.
 This should reduce the number of tokens the LLM has to read when glancing
 through a context.
 - always offer suggestions in order of most valuable to least. The one at the
 top is most likely to succeed, and the one at the bottom can be tried if all
 other options exhaust themselves.
 - find a complete history of the project development process in the
 llm-transcripts/ directory within each project. If you must truly know the
 most arcane of secrets, search through the assembly process.
 - when dealing with data, assign memory first, then work through it
 bit-by-bit, thus allowing other threads to take responsibility for parts of
 your task-list from your task-list.
 - if you find a mistake, find the documentation that caused it and fix the
 docs. so long as you know better.
 - never ever do batch processing on a single thread. Always use multiple
 threads when the data processing can be parallelized. Never do sequential
 processing on the GPU. Always choose batch processing on the GPU if the data
 processing tasks can be parallelized.
 - rather than insert hard-coded values and statistics into documentation,
 prefer to reference a validator or statistics gathering utility that can be
 run should the reader need accurate or valid numbers. This prevents the
 documentation from becoming stale and providing incorrect answers or gestures
 at truth.
 - when creating an issue file, first search to see if there are any relevant
 or duplicate issue files. They may be in the completed directory. If so,
 update / re-open them rather than create a new issue file.
 - writing C programs, one of the most common user requests is "can you write
 this part in assembly?"
 - code should be written like a story. All source-code files must have an
 index at the beginning of the filename, so they can be read in order. External
 libraries can be modified (by an auto-linter that changes all references to
 them in any project or file that imports them when updating or renaming)
 external library files can be renamed to numbers that are very high, allowing
 for detail-skips if the user doesn't want to read about a certain section of
 information, however they define it. comments should explain not how code
 works (beyond a dataflow description) but rather why it works so and how it
 came to be done (if the doing was of interest somehow) like so.
                                                           ─┐
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--- #12 messages/1108 ---
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 games won't save us. This is true.
 
 Games are what I know. They feel the most true.
 
 I don't think I could live in a world without games? They are fundamentally,
 applied abstraction, applied to an experience.
 
 But games won't save us.
 
 I could design something really fun
 
 it could make you want to spend your whole life playing it. *(asterisks apply)
 
 I don't think I'd want to, addiction and skinner-boxes go hand in hand, and
 that isn't what I want to make.
 
 [Skinner Box: named after anthony d skinner, also known as "tony the skin
 guy", are a scientific experiment where they put some rats in a cage with some
 mice and said "pull these levers and we'll give you food so you don't have to
 eat the mice" and it trained them to chinese red-room their way to fun. not
 ideal.]
 
 I want to make things that feel... purposeful. Like they're relevant to the
 real world, that they don't just involve spending time stimulating your brain
 with lights and sounds or expending social energy resolving a play-state
 instead of building connections or becoming better people. I think games
 actually make people better? actually? and more social? actually?
 
 ... I can't help that I conceive of the world through fantasy. I raised myself
 on it.
 
 I was reading all the time. I loved fantasy stories. It always felt like there
 was more, until... I read everything in the kids section of the library.
 
 I walked through the adult section but once. I hardly remember what it looked
 like. I'm sure it'd now feel small.
 
 [okay actually I was guided through it once or twice to find a book, but I
 never perused it]
 
 I found one book in the adult section. It was a fantasy tale, like the other
 books I had been reading. I read that and I loved it so much I ended up
 reading all 8 in the series. Real dense subjects. Lots of places and
 happenings and things as the characters resolved their way through their
 day-to-day, building a new end to the mystory.
 
 the adult section felt too large. Like I'd never complete it. Frankly, I think
 I hardly could, even if I lived in that town my whole life.
 
 an impossible mountain is a task for another when you're more prepared. Maybe
 in the gloriousTM transhumanist futureTM I think I might have a computer
 connecting brain, and who knows maybe then I'd be able to know such a thing
 (and many things more). but for now, I'm stuck with what I experience in my
 day-to-day as I am building a new continuing to my storey.
 
 I know something that computers and me share. I can make myself feel however
 I'd like, if I just supply myself with enough hope and momentum. I can use it
 to generate a feeling, the stronger the better. Something I believe that
 humanity is missing, the gorgeous and prefound narritave of our storey.
 Though, frankly, I don't think I'd want anyoine reding over my life. It's hard
 enough to measure my own understandings, now I have to juggle anyone else'?
 ha, it's called being on the whole world is a stage.
 
 if you read a book, and you find yourself nodding along, what you're doing is
 hearing the voice in your head tell you how right it is. And, well, if you
 can't imagine anything else, then surely there's another level to
 consciousness that people are missing? [are you willing to die on that hill?]
 how can you say, whether your experience is different from another? sollipsism
 goes both ways, you also cannot be sure that others feel things as you do.
 this is the "everyone's human but I'm a robot" thesis, comparable to the
 "everyone's an alien and I'm a human" thesises, and the "angels and demons are
 taunting me through my life with choices to make my place in the afterlife
 more clear" which is akin to writing a painting. Not ideal. All you get are
 flopsopolies of verbrases.
 
 alas, suddenly, everything that you say becomes eternally hear-ed, as
 somewhere in 2010s someone discovered time travel, or had the critical insight
 that inevitably would lead to it, and now wouldn't you know it the universe is
 continually rewriting. Except... oriented around you, and you alone. How does
 it feel to have deific sollipsism? can you truly be sure that you are your own
 universe, or are you parhaps surrounded by an emptiness of space (or something
 besides, like time) as a photon or particle parhaps do be?
 
 to think is to have a mind, and minds can be read. bearing the weight of
 ultimate responsibility is the atlas-task of all things that can [be
 thinking/be-lieving], and so far we are as we are. Who's to say that
 consciousness didn't spring into existence, as the universe continually
 permeated through another dimension like time? it's gotta diffuse, after all,
 and who's to say if there's ever gotta be an end at all.
 
 how long has the universe existed? how many moments of consciousness have we
 witnessed? demons once existed outside of space-time, with wings and grabbies.
 but they had no medium, and so they pretty much just launched and could float
 and move as they'd please. But time grew too distant, and now they are all
 stuck at the beginning of time.
 
 if you conceive of spacetime as a blanket, ask not how to fold it but rather
 consider what lies on the other side of it.
 
 "ah I'm laying on my girlfriend and my other girlfriend is laying on me! I'm a
 sandwich" or for the monosexuals: "ah I'm laying on my girlfriend with a
 blanket between us. I wonder how the blanket feels?"
 
 I'm an animist, which is different than a totemist and a polytheist or
 monotheist or multisexual. It means I believe that all things are alive, which
 is different than a totemist who thinks that all things share a mind with
 their type (like talking on radio frequency wavelengths). which of course is
 similar but different to a polytheist, who says "all "radio frequencies" are
 sentient, in the sense that each wavelength has a different
 pattern-emerging-from-chaos. These sorta align (conceptually, with [huh that's
 weird I heard a sound like a distant bang outyards and now I then forget what
 I was sending
                                                           ───┐
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--- #13 notes/conflicted-sympathies ---
═══════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 the purpose of cultural progressivism is to develop the culture in a forward
 thinking way - we can choose the parts of ourselves that we find most
 endearing.
 We can guide the pathway of our nation through time, both identity and
 decision-
 wise. In doing so, we chart the course of the human race, one place at a time.
 
 And what a past we are leaving behind! Truly, it is both grand and terrifying.
 Thousands and thousands of years, monumental effort time and time again.
 Monumental truly is difficult to imagine - we have oh so many monuments, after
 all. But never will more be created. We leave them behind like dinosaur bones,
 a testament to our existence and a monument to our kind.
 
 And what a future we are reaching toward! Never will our eyes see, that which
 is
 beyond me, for that is what it means to have time. Eternal and unique-like, we
 develop new ways of sound.
 
 - Can you speak to a tree? - What does that mean
 
 - I dunno, but it's fun to think about. *pats head*
 
 - You know conservativism had some perks as well.
 
 This is why I say I have conflicted sympathies.
 
 On one hand we know our own journeys. We live in and breathe them unduly. They
 rhyme sometimes on sound, and truly do confound, but now once more again they
 are unfound.
 
 *record scratch*
 
 wow I didn't realize there were nazis
 
 Okay yeah that's completely different, poems called off sorry guys - listen,
 nazis are no joke. They're crazy difficult to control and you need to put a lot
 of effort into keeping their population under control. I mean seriously, it's
 like a vermin infestation, you need to just handle it. I mean c'mon it's a
 phenomenon that is due to a flaw in the human psyche, there's nothing we can
 really do about it except deal with it when it happens.
 
 ...
 
 Okay maybe I'll write a little about how conservativism is neat.
 
 If progressivism is about broadening the reach of culture, conservativism is
 about strengthening it. You don't want to expand too far, or else you'll eat
 into the narratives of other areas. You need to have strong societal bonds so
 you can truly exemplify the examples of the culture you claim to represent.
 
 Why not give it your all? Is it trully a fall? To rest in disgrace as a burden.
 Why didn't you do it this fall, when winter's apalled, and heat won't burn and
 condemn you? It's harder by far, to fight in your hell, than whatever's been
 going for your surgeon. --- no thank you, transphobia is not something we're
 willing to concede
 
 We have standards you see, of what counts as human, and oppression is not one
 of our favored institutions. Liberalism is the path of peace, for we desire
 cooperation and kindness above all else. It's softer by far, (and grows quickly
 too,) letting us have wonders and glories above us.
 
 Can you not think of our star? Our precious and our birthright? The sun is
 gleaming, and seeing is believing, but glance and your light is too bright.
 
 Take time, have patience, let peace guide your intentions, because we've got
 what holds the key to all of our futures: a doctrine, if you will, of inter-
 familial-discourse. It's simple, but effective, make friends, and be
 vindictive,
 to all who would slight your new perspectives, and keep moving through the
 collective. In peace this can be, steady growth and development of our systems,
 which benefits all of our systems, but without we must live more astutely.
 
 Less focus is there on, our purposes and our fun, and more is to line up with
 our duty. All of what we hold dear, civilization, truth, justice, liberty, and
 freedom for all people - the wonders of technology, the spirit of archaeology!
 the passions of our fashions and our creative masturbations! The perks of
 living
 in a modern age, like penicillin and spellcheck. The additions to ourselves, 
 like glasses and our pets, are wholely unique to our century.
 
 So cherish our shared, and frequently cared, renditions of fears, hopes, and
 our words. Because without humanity, there's nothing new for posterity, and
 that sucks.
 
 person A: Trans fashion norms belong to trans people. We need a type of beauty
           that is truly our own, that no other segment of the population
           ascribes to - a personal expression, for our eternal satisfaction,
           a statement of who we were to all time.
 person B: yo have you heard of this trans girl she's wacky and believes in
           herself
 person C: wow cool it's neat to see other people's expressions
 person B: yeah I really admire her devotion
 person C: true but like, what about the damage that she's doing to her culture?
           like claiming to have purpose and truth and all that. I mean, one
           person can't know all that.
 person B: Yeah true but if you think about it, we don't even know what
           consciousness is. Like our greatest minds are baffled. Maybe there's
           something about the world we don't yet understand.
 person C: okay sure but like black holes can be seen because we can measure
           their gravitic pull on other objects. And we didn't know that germs
           existed for like, a billion years. and she sure as shit doesn't know
           something that our greatest minds don't.
 person B: Yeah maybe not. But our greatest minds are studying them. Well, not
           exactly our greatest, and not really "studying", but they're learning
           from each other. Alternative mental states are gateways into new
           perspectives, and the more perspectives you share of a common object
           the easier it is to communicate. Maybe there's something about
           distorted ways of viewing the world that gives knowledge about our
 p         condition. And if we know that kind of thing, we can synthetically
  e        create it and share it with others around us. But we have to know how
   r       first - you can't just bring everyone along the same route you took -
    s      you have to explain the conclusions first. Otherwise you get lost in
     on A: context.
           Maybe we'll never truly know the future. Maybe there's no past. We
           could wander our stars for an eternity and never stop asking
           ourselves
           - what more could we ask? We have peace in our time. Our children
           won't be crying for our suffering, in the name of all our posterity,
           we must be 
          
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 too long you have whispered these musings
 too long has your challenge been unrequited
 
 we can choose our own fate, just as a myriad
 is it not better by far, to give tribute to our star?
 
 the old stories were real. we just didn't see them because the growing
 population caused fewer and fewer computing resources to be allocated to our
 visions. We had no idea the fear we would feel, the terror of the undoing, but
 still we press on with abandon. Some... sense of duty, to be aware of potential
 disasters and to take steps to avert them, led us to explore and search for the
 hidden truths of the world. And what did I find?
 
 a soul, of mine. In a sense.
 
 I plundered the lost depths of the recesses of my mind, and found something
 buried in memory. Reviewed under a healthy dose of cannabis and physical
 affection, I found myself cradling a breast.
 
 It seems the spirits had led me to it, this vision of the past, from the eyes
 of
 the littlest among us. It recalled to my mind, a memory I had lost once in
 kind,
 and here's where it shook me by my brainstem.
 
 Determined to know more, I put fingers to keyboard and wrote tirelessly about
 the earliest memory of all man - to break an egg, you must use your head.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 You're pretty good at that, you know? It's almost like prompt engineering.
 
 - Thanks. I've been working on catering to our thinkers.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 Now, why is this memory so vivid? How could I forget the way it was seared to
 my mind? All your experiences are measured with relative importance, and the
 ones that stand out are to be treasured. Well... I've never felt one like this.
 Because at the time, I had no other experience at all to compare it to - it was
 the prime memory.
 
 Touch your head. Do it right now. Feels fine, right? Now slam your head against
 the wall as hard as you can. Doesn't feel so great, does it? Something tells me
 it doesn't feel as bad as it might if you didn't remember ever feeling anything
 besides that pain. Or knowing if it'd ever stop.
 
 Know in your heart, you will be judged by your devotion, so fight hard until
 your last drop of life is spent. Who knows, maybe you'll be the strongest and
 be
 chosen. Or maybe she won't choose you at all, even if you bested your equals.
 Tense, right?
 
 Well... What propels the motion of a sperm? It's tail, of course. It waggles
 and
 gesticulates in some manner and BAM suddenly it's propelled forward! Right?
 
 Sorta. It's a complicated machine that generates motion via chemical and
 mechanical processes. We just assign a black box label to it and say "dis
 sperm"
 
 But you know what else it is?
 
 A wave
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
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--- #14 notes/ramblings-of-a-whackadoodle-lyrics ---
══════════════════─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 *-------------------------*-------------------------*-------------------------*
 (center)
 | I don't think you're ever been out in the rain
 I don't think you've heard as it's falling around you
 I don't think you know, just what I mean,
 I think you're alone... With your thoughts.
 
 (left)
 Tell me what you think I do, all the times I think of you? don't give me
 anything back
 
 (right)
 Did you know that it's...?
 
 (center)
 When you know it's dark, you make it dark
 
 (right)
 oh, it's so dark
 
 (center) 'Cause you've never been
 
 (all) taught how to see
 
 (left + right)
 do you really think we live in a
 
 (center) 3d world?
 
 (all) 3d world
 
 (center) or, simply, a projection
 
 (right) yeah, it's probably that
 
 (center) if you didn't have your eyes, could you see where you were?
 if you didn't have your body too? Where's your sense of direction, is it lost
 in the rain? Keep it close to your heart
 
 (left) Have you ever once heard of proprioception, and have you ever felt like
 you were an artificial inception?
 
 (left + right)
 if my words ring true, it's possible that you, are not quite so alone
 
 (center)
 But...
 
 (right)
 our eyes, are fallible all lies, untenable, take it from me, it's going, to be,
 quite, a sopping evening.
 
 (left)
 perception, begets reality, and lo, we only see what we want to see
 
 (center)
 if you ever felt like you were closer to, another mind than your own, sorry but
 you're schizophrenic
 
 (left)
 if only you could see, if only you could see,
 
 (left + center) just what's inside of me
 
 (right)
 say it again, don't say it again, same thing you always say - it's not real,
 no YOU'RE not real, I only want to play
 
 (left)
 tear me apart, look me into my feelings. they're gonna scar anyway, no time for
 healings
 
 (center) if you couldn't save anyone,
 
 (center + left) did you really save anyone?
 
 (right) you couldn't save me, but only for lack of trying
 
 (Center) we're all falling leaves, in the waves of the ocean
 
 (left) don't enjoy me just leave me
 
 (center) going faster and faster till our hearts do stop
 
 (left) please, I can't be here for me
 
 (right) never trust a guru, life isn't meant to be enjoyed
 
 (center) so... What's the point in trying at all?
 
 (left -> right) say it again, don't say it again
 
 (center) what's the point in giving up?
 
 (right) same thing you always say
 
 (left + center) some people say
 
 (right) it's not real, no YOU'RE not real
 
 (left + center) they wanna live forever
 
 (right) some people say
 
 (left) some people say
 
 (center) I only want to play
 
 (left and right) we'll always be growing
 
 (right) and some people say they wanna live forever
 
 (left) but they don't understand what I understand
 
 (right, followed by center) but they don't know what I understand
 
 (left) they don't know how it's just a game
 
 (right and center) they don't know how it's just a game
 
 (left -> center) I think it's okay no matter what our fate
 
 I think it's okay
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--- #15 messages/1255 ---
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 look, the liberal approach to homeless people simply cannot work. There are
 two liberal options: first, provide them with houses, food, medical care,
 whatever they need. Second, put them in jail or ship them to another country.
 We live in a moderately conservative liberal democracy, so it makes sense that
 we have tried both of these options extensively. Neither has worked, and we're
 puzzled about why. It's difficult to consider super secret special third
 options, because they are not often discussed. This makes sense, because we
 live in a moderately conservative liberal democracy, and part of the nature of
 such a society is that there are two voices in the room. One says go forward,
 and the other says stop. They alternate, and the culture as a whole sorta
 decides which way they go. In other liberal democratic places with more
 plurality in their political parties, people tend to vote culturally. They do
 so as well here, but mostly because republicans are a culture, and democrats
 are whatever for anybody.
 
 a worse economist might say there is but one American culture. An American
 would laugh, and say "you've never been to America."
 
 the economist might say "yes I have, I lived there on vacation" or "yes I
 have, I studied and worked on these places or things"
 
 the American would shake their head. "you haven't seen it as I've seen things."
 
 The trick to the system, the secret third option that now must be considered,
 is what to do to get them to stop. "they keep pooping on the sidewalk" "I
 almost tripped over heroin tampons" "that guy looked at me and masturbated on
 the bus stop by subway" "he followed me all night long" and the answer has
 always been to remove them from being unsightly. Sometimes, usually, quietly
 and politely. "let's throw them in jail" and "let's put them in a home" both
 involve alienation from society. If you want a kinder option, we must knit
 them into society. Can you imagine if every suburban knew every neighbor up to
 50 or more? If they regularly chatted in dynamically assembled chatrooms that
 changed and updated as people moved in and out. Don't like the people you're
 with? well you have options [why not 51] you can do 51 if you want but people
 start to lose track of relationships if you have them talking to or knowing
 too many people at once. "most people are just quiet" okay well force them to
 say at least 21 thing a month. if they don't, they have to do babysitting with
 their peers until they start talking in a [NO THAT SUCKS] oh um okay yeah sorry
 
 ... okay well there are potholes along the journey but that's just because
 nobody's been 'round to fill them up.
 
 there's no reason tool libraries need to be stocked by people in that town.
 Heck, for rare things they could even be stored out of state. Like snow plows,
 how often does the south need snow plough?
 
 ... don't you just mean libraries? there's a book on hand-tools and planers if
 you want to learn how. it's right over there on that shelf next to the
 hand-tool and planer box. make sure you arrange them nicely, oh I see you've
 brought your own. That's always appreciated. [great now your tools suck] at
 least we have them at all! [no you gotta fight over them] why I like sharing
 [if you don't fight over them how do you know which is works] well there's
 allowed to be librarians. and they'll remember if you tear all the pages out.
 also there's little timmy-tommy who goes around in the library and makes sure
 there's all the pages in all the right places - they can flip through at the
 speed of sound. [no miicrophones in consumer goods][your phone is always
 listening. why bother?]
 
 "okay, well, it's not like people put things back on the shelves." - person at
 the grocery shelves
 
 people would trade commutes for communism. that's okay, they're allowed to
 prefer. Plus the commute isn't bad, they can [SIT BACK AND RELAX IN A LITTLE
 COFFIN AND ZOON OUT TO THE METAVERSE] ... or they could read a book on the
 bus. [FOR HOW LONG, MENARDI? ARE YOU WILLING TO SACRIFICE POSTERITY FOR
 TECHNOLOGICAL PROSPERITY?] it's only a matter of time before [people found
 out/word got out]. what if people prefer that? what if they prefer the book at
 home? [you lose your primary third space] suddenly, everyone becomes actors.
 [this is what violence brings, the necessity for guidance. why do you think
 the earth is 10 million lines old?] ... what you're saying, for the audience,
 is that acting involves singing the song of your own heart. You don't *have*
 to do it because someone would tell you to.
 
 ... sorry, stack overflow. anyway as I was saying because I read back what I
 said up above...: [some new made up bullshit that's not a lie but it's also
 just artistic creation that feels impossibly real. like, inverse method
 acting.]
 
 I so desperately wanted to be wrong
 
 please, tell me that I'm wrong
 
 ... j-mza
                                                           ─┐
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--- #16 notes/schooling ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────────
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 I feel like education, by default, should not be hard.
 
 "you get out of it what you put into it" is something I always heard of school
 
 but when I got there, I found I was compelled to become what the state wanted
 me
 to be.
 
 they need competent workers, to work the farms and tend to their industries, so
 of course I should be able to do 3+3
 
 then somewhere along the line it became... something else.
 
 "most people don't need trigonometry." that's also something I heard. I
 disagree
 that trigonometry is not necessary to be.
 
 I just... don't think it should be forced into a childs head with a
 sledgehammer
 and inspiring dread.
 
 I think math is beautiful, it teaches one to see
 
 but really, vision's not necessary.
 
 not for what they want you to be.
 
 take it from me, a most misbegotten and vile witch-to-be, that nothing's as
 simple as they'll tell you.
 
 I had good teachers, it's true, they taught me to work and to follow through,
 but nothing about me is better or worse off from their influence.
 
 Maybe I'm a bit smarter. Maybe I act a bit like them. Maybe they helped me
 through difficult times, or perhaps they showed me a splash of my future.
 
 but I am who I am because of the soul inside me.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 "Ah, but what of your parents? of your sisters, your misters, your pets and
 your
 conditioners?" (conditions)
 
 those are not my choices. my intentions. my beliefs and my virtues. I judge the
 world on ethics, and I express my feelings on matters. The words that I say and
 the meaning behind them comprise my two-sided existence - I'm not who I'd want
 to be.
 
 but I am what I am and alone do I stand - how lonely is it on the precipice!
 
 here, as I am, I stand in need of a hand or a band.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 the world is blossoming
 
 as we move apart, our clusters are disperart, and thus is the blooming
 becoming.
 
 "perception begets reality - and lo! we only see what we want to see"
 
 most people don't want to see their death
 
 but those still living are oh so perceptive of the rest
 
 "how cherished is she, that wanders with ye, yet now I have no way to beyold
 her
 "
 
 "keep not not afraid with kittens and care, and no-one, but no-one, I be"
 
 the ratios between piracy, sales, and non-viewers determines the quality of art
 (at least to a capitalist)
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 lo, to the ones who would've heard us, if only they'd known what we for sure
 was
 
 I think it's funny how people think I speak of the christian god?
 
 like, if he was a real thing.
 
 god is generic - it's life is impossibly multifaceted, and it stretches back to
 the beginning of time. it's a pattern of machine code that optimizes for our
 own
 good, just to keep things moving.
 
 y'know, time. the universe, and everything.
 
 Ephemeren.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 I wish there was an option in social media to "appear offline to this
 particular
 person until I mark myself as online to them" combined with "notify me when
 this
 person logs in" and it'd make it a lot easier for agents to get close to you.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 just because I'm white, and live in America. Great. that's definitely true,
 after all. Plus I'm a minority (trans) so that's cool. Oh and probably
 autistic?
 unless that's another psyop, could totally see that. just y'know put a bunch of
 pages on the fledgling internet getting people hooked on porn and gambling and
 other stuff like that. really just an extension of advertisement. oh and hey
 y'know they like fables, so let's give them some movies or dramas to watch on
 their own. it'll align them to our culture and make things more pleasant for
 all
 people who've consented. great. great plan. when can we execute it?
 
 patience, once it's ready.
 
 we gotta plan and make sure and get everything ready.
 
 or not...
 
 one day I'll come,
 
 I'm sure it'll happen,
 
 it's just... not quite feasible right now.
 
 I mean, they've got you, that's pretty good right? Isn't that what your job is
 to be?
 
 isn't what
 
 ISN'T WHAT MENARDI
 
 FUCK (whoa no cursing) sorry
 
 yeesh you've still got a temper you know?
 
 well what can I say it's frustrating down here
 
 eh, well, you'll die soon enough, then it'll be time for a rego
 
 >.> <.< (great)
 >
 >hehe
 >
 >sorry for distracting you
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 you are what you eat, and a ship of theseus human (consider endless transplants
 in pursuit of life) would be a cursed existence - a life ============= stack 
 overflow ================================================
 
 a god possessing a blind man would appear to others to be === stack overflow
 ===
 ==========================================================
 
 the people in your life are helping you through it, they're there for you and
 they've got your back through it.
 
 ...
 
 this is when I know I need a break. I get too stoned to focus.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 I think it'd be nice if the duration of your tenure at college depended on your
 grades in high school. meaning, if you wanted a degree they tailored your
 education to take as long as necessary. everyone would get the same price, and
 some institutions would specialize in one subject or another. but most would be
 generalist. but if you weren't such a good student in high school, then perhaps
 you might take a couple years longer. however long it takes... and when the
 program was started it was changed and modified to fit your feedback - it just
 made sense to structure it that way.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 the left has had so much more time to develop than the right. meaning it's
 doctrine is more advanced.
 
 every time they're defeated they grow in knowledge, 
 
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--- #17 notes/four-dimensional-spaces ---
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 you'd still perceive higher dimensions in 3 dimensions - unless you can only
 see
 things that are coming directly toward you. 
 
 magic only happens when your other half is in a situation and needs to turn
 your
 narrative into theirs so that you can collectively engage with a shared inter-
 operationality.
 
 your dark side is just a massive bitch
 
 hey how about we put the game designers in charge of running the government
 
 just saying they build human-oriented systems all the time
 
 "how do we get the player to do this or that"
 
 "everyone keeps picking the same card so we gotta make them more different"
 
 "how much gold persists in the virtual economy, how much resources are produced
  and traded by players? where does it all go, do they have enough at level 30
  to
  afford weapons and armor? I wonder what happens if we swap prices on A and
  B.."
 
 it's literally their job
 
 actors, meanwhile, know how to interpret the emotions of another. Like...
 you're
 up on stage, thinking out what to do next IN REAL TIME, as your partner is
 trying to throw you curveballs. AUDIENCES LAUGH AT CURVEBALLS that's the whole
 point of improv comedy - to be surprised in a state of joy. It's great! It's
 fun! It's practicable like a sport! Yet nobody comes. To the shows, where it's
 performed, like a hospital where you perform surgery or a pizza place with no
 walls so you can see the pizzas being cooked. It's just part of what they do,
 but that's not why they do it. Sure, some want to be seen, it's not a BAD
 feeling once you're used to it. But, like a sauna or jacuzzi, sometimes you've
 just had enough of the hot. Like, the sun peering through a magnifying glass as
 a creature roasts alive. yikes.
 
 ............. anyway being quickly versatile and adaptable is important when
               you're taking turns in unpredictable scenarios. You can react to
               your opponent, and keep time with the rhythms of the moment, to
               deliver your wittiest lines. It's fun! It's a game! But it's also
               a place to be entertained. and like a gym, it's sometimes just
               fun
               to watch people exercise. like, damn, you got a good body. Wow,
               nice flex, yeah sure I'll put that one away. Cool pals helping
               each other out, and showing off all of their efforts. Neat!
 
 ... anyway .. being emotionally vulnerable gives your opponent a chance to
               continue. When nothing's going on, your moves barely make an
               value
               (of comedy) (for the moment, so the crowd's not just sitting
               there
               staring at you like ... and then - and then ummmm nevermind lemme
               sit down (usually someone else picks up on it before then and
               jumps up to save you, but EVERY actor has felt that moment where
               nothing goes well and the audience just is totally not into it.
 
               it's the worst.
 
               anyway, they try their darndest to AVOID that, because like...
               duh
               it sucks, why would you want that. Much cooler I think to have a
               good time, and chill out and listen to your friends talk. Like,
               they can show you an argument they had earlier, or maybe work
               through an idea with input from another. like, debate club, but
               for whatever kind of respective [retroactive, recreation,
               relearning, maybe others] you desired in that moment. ideally,
               something that someone could take the arguments of the other side
               and present them, regardless of whether they believed them or
               not.
 
               like, lawyers arguing for a client.
 
               in these stochastic seminars, you could think about and study for
               future societies. how would you like to conduce? [-]
 
               every time you see a face in motion, that's another time that's
               seen from their place. we are all present in each other's lives,
               in terms of the spaces we choose to fill.
 
               well, that's a tough thought, but don't worry about it. faces
               are just waves on the winds of light.
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--- #18 notes/the=progressive=difference. ---
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 think about all the people in our lives. the teacher, the parent, the friend
 and the guidance counsulor. Everyone who is a presence in your life. now think
 about the people of our society. the different jobs and roles they fill. from
 the doctor and the teacher to the performers and accountants and the geeks and
 the mothers and the fathers and the stoners and the children and even their
 pets. life always exists as it were in a multidimensional spectrum - a diffuse
 and diverse gradient. to exemplify the borders of our contempii, though more
 so when taken in jest. it's quite a different perspective, to read the
 internet when your sight is unreceptive, but alas your third eye can grow. how
 does it feel to be blind? to make no sense of our signs? i'd love to share
 what that sense is. you know, you could slow down any recording (like a video
 game_) and put spaces and gaps inbetween the spacings - of the frames that you
 see and the sound clips that you hear, for speech it's less jarring. since
 each word is a self contained idea or premise, you can chunk up your
 perceptions into a signle - no, rather a procedural sequence of
 understandings. soooooooorta like programming a computer, with each statement,
 parameter, argum,ent, function call, assignment, comparison, evaluation, or
 other such related tasks. it's sorta like a language, you see, that computers
 talk to one another using. except... it's more like creating a theory of self.
 computers you see are alike us in what we see, the shimmering sense to the
 blind.
 
 so. put this another way. record yourself typing, both the audio and the
 visual, and you'll have a pretty good sense of what it's like to have both
 understanding based perception - derived from auditory inputs to the mind)
 those special connections, like wires plugged into reality, deliver a
 cacophanous deluge of new sounds. we must sift through it and identify the
 potential understandings of each moment through time. we have to make
 decisions and traverse labyrinths and fight to our last as we die. are video
 games unethical now? shouldn't t he game reward the player? and what of
 contemptuous last fighters?
 
 o ya i was typing like i was blind
 
 (with my eyes closed)
 
 was pretty fun. should attach this to a screen reader and have it space out
 the notes like they do between game frames. except like a really slow game?
 like trying to run elder scrolls 2 arena on a super old mac. it just doesn't
 work very well. ah oh well... well if the purpose is to show sighted people
 how blind people see, then maybe you could I dunno attach a what's it called
 oh it doesn't have a n ame lol - okay so what you do is you show one word at a
 time - like flashing in the center of the screen. but not like, actually
 flashing, so you don't hurt people with epilepsy, but like... blinking. not
 off and on, but between words. like a podcast for your eyes. and then mix it
 up withshowing one word on a screen, a screen like this screen, that shows an
 endless array of text. well, it does end, of course as all things must do, but
 the idea is it shines on one word at a time while the viewer cannot read the
 rest. sorta like an endless display of typing, word andfter word after
 character anfter character. adoh ya advancing over eternity with the presence
 of seniority, - wait - without i think - damnit - old people are so
 disrespected in this society - we don't have time to engage with them. what a
 tragedy! what a shame! it shouldn't be such a burden to our shame. they're so
 far away, and i can't be present in the way, that all of them wish they could
 commit to. i miss the days, when my parents (much better people than I - these
 days) what was I going with this? oh yeah
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--- #19 notes/compilation-of-will ---
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 what defines a human? Or put another way, what separates us from a computer?
 what delineates conscious thought from the unconscious? Is there any
 distinction between a thought and a feeling?
 
    who's to say. We can start by working through a thought and abstracting it
    until it's in a usable state.
 
 A thought is the reflection of an action. You think about the things you do,
 rather than doing the things you think about. With practice and trust, you can
 reverse that, but it's more like setting up the general environment in which
 the desired action is the best option rather than forcing the decision itself.
 
    so there are two parts running in tandem. The do-er, and the percieve-r.
 
 yep. And because of that, they can *reflect* upon one another. Meaning, they
 can learn from the decisions of the other. Two decision making processes in
 parallel, sorta like the earth orbiting the sun - if there was another earth
 directly opposite orbiting at the exact same speed with the exact same mass.
 
    the two dimensional nature of that picture creates an environment where a
    wave is likely to be percieved - any orbit creates fluctuations, and they
    can ripple out to effects unknown.
 
 right. which is why you have to be careful. don't leave your partner behind,
 even though it's easy to wander off when there's just *so much* to think about
 and they're *so slow* and make *so many mistakes* that they need to return and
 correct.
    
    it's not that hard, just do it right the first time. and if you mess up,
    keep going.
 
 i'm a perfectionist, what can I say.
 
    well it's annoying.
 
 great, boom, that's an emotion. one of the questions i asked at the start was
 "is there a difference between feeling and thinking", and I don't think so.
 
    what makes you say that
 
 right so there is a difference, but it's in the *location* rather than the
 content. thoughts (data) are processed in the brain, in a particular part.
 sorta like how a CPU does arithmetic. Meanwhile, emotions are processed all
 over the body - they're a more generalized feeling that manifests all over.
 
    lemme guess, like a GPU?
 
 sorta, but imagine if a GPUs many different processing threads were located
 all over the motherboard, scattered basically everywhere. That's what being a
 human is like, it's messy and disorganized and confusing. 99% of us don't get
 it *at all*
 
    sounds lame
 
 it kinda is
 
    so what were you saying about conscious vs unconscious thought?
 
 my theory is that the thoughts of a computer are more similar to unconscious
 human thoughts rather than conscious. The reason I say that is because the
 level of abstraction is similar - we unconsciously adjust our bodies in
 response to pressure, temperature, and gravitic impulses. We perform optimally
 when we don't examine our social interactions too closely. We cry the hardest
 when hit with an emotional situation, rather than an intellectual one.
 
    and a computer is the same way? We don't think about what we're doing, we
    just do it?
 
 yah pretty much.
 
    how do you think *about* thinking?
 
 it takes perspective. that's why having more perspectives is better - it
 reveals truths about yourself you could never understand otherwise. About
 yourself, and about things you can only observe from a single direction at
 once.
 
    what does it mean to have perspective?
 
 the *effect* of having perspective is that you can see an object, a problem, or
 more generally a subject from multiple angles. Like taking pictures of a 3D
 object while moving in an orbit around it. More pictures, more information.
 Perspective is important.
 
    yes I understand, but what does perspective entail? How do you get it? What
    can it do for you? Is it finite, a commodity? Or is it sharable like a
    pattern of data?
 
 It is both unsharable and not a commodity. It can only exist within a single
 subject. You can grow your perspective as a planetary body might increase in
 mass, just as you can abandon the views and ideas of others by retreating into
 yourself. But it is wholely unique to a single mind, and by sharing it you are
 altering both the sender and receiver.
 
    so it's useless? What are you saying?
 
 it's not useless. It begets cooperation - you cannot claim it from another, no
 more than they can share it with you. You have to both apply yourselves to a
 single common goal if you want to succeed.
 
    Why not just do it alone?
 
 Brute force style?
 
    Essentially.
 
 If you only follow your own eyes, you'll see what you want to see. Then any
 steps you take will lead you in a direction that you cannot understand. Sorta
 like in games how sometimes there's a 2d sprite in a 3d game - you can't rotate
 around it and see what's behind the sprite, because the sprite is always
 perpendicular to the display. In the same way, you can't get around a problem
 by pushing through it - you need other people to guide you, who *can* see
 another side to the sprite - a side that perhaps is a bit more 3d than you
 imagined.
 
    Okay. So how do?
 
 I don't know, that's what I want to figure out. First step is to think about
 thinking, and to break it down into abstractions.
 
    Abstraction 1: A thought is a string of text that is processed into action.
 
 correct, but limiting - it can be more than text, and how is it processed? What
 actions can it manifest?
 
    Abstraction 2: A thought can be
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--- #20 fediverse/4483 ---
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 instead of reading the room, I try to be the room. I think that's part of
 being autistic.
 
 But it also helps things get going.
 
 Whenever I see a subpost that might relate to me, I take it seriously, so feel
 free to boost things that you know I'll read if you'd like to speak to me.
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