=== ANCHOR POEM ===
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 There's no potential left of me. I am a husk, a shadow of my former
 possibilities. None left to manifest, and so I huddle in the shade of what
 once was ambition as I wait for the silence to take hold.
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=== SIMILARITY RANKED ===

--- #1 fediverse/4075 ---
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 maybe if I "be myself" so hard that there's nothing left to keep secret,
 they'll like me??
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--- #2 fediverse/3833 ---
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 there's no such thing as me
 
 all I am is where the wind takes me
 
 I am just a person, and I do all that I can
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--- #3 messages/1439 ---
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 I'm not sad, I'm just... Trapped in the shadow realm.
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--- #4 messages/430 ---
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 There is very little human left in me. I don't mind.
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--- #5 fediverse/1818 ---
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 my previous job didn't do anything to harm me. And yet I left. I let them down
 in a way they could not have expected. Which was unfair of me, but I couldn't
 resist it. I don't know what I'd do better.
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--- #6 fediverse/4314 ---
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 @user-1655 
 
 meanwhile I am haunted by words such as  "please save us" or "you could have
 done more" and "do you know how many husbands died for you"
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--- #7 fediverse/1010 ---
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 I'm done trying to be neurotypical. So what if I starve.
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--- #8 messages/1068 ---
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 why would they psyop me? there's a psyop about me! heck, I've never done so as
 I pleased. that's an aspiration. everything I do is at a command, whether it's
 my own or external.
 
 these days I find myself following my own. mostly. though I am always waiting
 for collaboration opportunities.
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--- #9 fediverse/6250 ---
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 Dear my future self: I'm sorry for all the things that I do. I hope you
 appreciate the gifts I leave you. Thank you for never giving up, and I trust
 you to take care of me and the things I care about. I'm proud of what you've
 done with me, and I'm hopeful that one day I'll be just a bit like you.
                                                           ─────┐
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--- #10 messages/1336 ---
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 Somehow, it feels like nobody is all that interested in me. Like nobody wants
 me, that they want me to disappear and stay hidden.
 
 This is of course just dark whispers trying to be purified by me. Surely,
 surely that must be so.
 
 Maybe I'm depressed. This happens sometimes.
 
 Maybe I'm feeling threatened. This happens sometimes, especially when things
 are uncertain. Is this the day when my food will be poisoned? Is tomorrow when
 i get kicked out of homeschool? Maybe I forgot something important yesterday
 but I can't recall whether I'm at liberty to recall.
 
 Maybe I'm feeling lonely.
 
 I am feeling lonely.
 
 Yep that's probably it.
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--- #11 fediverse/2815 ---
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 I am NOT larping. I am expressing how I feel imaginatively.
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--- #12 fediverse/2424 ---
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 if I don't take this job, then I'm going to be homeless.
 
 if I do, then I'll be moving to a different city.
 
 a city that I don't know.
 
 my upbringing tells me that this isn't a choice at all, but... 
 
 at least I have a place to keep my stuff. maybe I can find a different job.
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--- #13 fediverse/1381 ---
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 ┌────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: death-mentioned-nuts-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────────────────┘


 I'm a bit of a narcissist because I had a lot of... alone time as a kid, and I
 was a bit starved for attention.
 
 but I'm also afraid of rejection so if you have anything to say I'll listen
 for hours and try to be what you need me to be and give what you need me to
 give so that you don't leave me.
 
 Also, nobody has ever hurt me. And so I trust wholely and completely and
 absolutely. I get logically why that's not a good move but frankly I'd rather
 die than be cooperative. ah nuts better add a content warning.
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--- #14 fediverse/4428 ---
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 @user-1669 
 
 sorry, I'm on a roll. Gotta speak my mind, even if it has other stuff bouncing
 around in it. I hope you understand : )
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--- #15 fediverse/3122 ---
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 @user-999 
 
 whenever I am, I feel ashamed.
 
 whenever I'm not, I feel guilty.
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--- #16 messages/1145 ---
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 Death is final. It has no further answers nor questions. I prefer confessions.
 Once the sins are written, by voice and by heart, then they cannot hurt you
 anymore.
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--- #17 fediverse/6292 ---
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 I'm stuck. I don't know how to leverage whatever talents I have into making
 things happen. Maybe I should seek advice from a wise elder...
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--- #18 fediverse/5657 ---
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 I keep telling myself there's nothing useful on the internet yet still I remain
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--- #19 messages/1364 ---
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 I have been experiencing intense spiritual pain... Penance? Repentance. For at
 least the past year. These messages to myself... These fediverse posts I used
 to write... These are the result. It's worth it, to me. What I've made is...
 Unique, which is something. I guess when I say "I made this" I really should
 say "my hands typed this". Still. I am proud of it.
 
 I should get in shape.
                                                            similar                        chronological                        different════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════┘

--- #20 bluesky#36 ---
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 people are terrified, yet within me I feel a bright brilliant light.
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