=== ANCHOR POEM ===
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I have been experiencing intense spiritual pain... Penance? Repentance. For at
least the past year. These messages to myself... These fediverse posts I used
to write... These are the result. It's worth it, to me. What I've made is...
Unique, which is something. I guess when I say "I made this" I really should
say "my hands typed this". Still. I am proud of it.
I should get in shape.
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=== SIMILARITY RANKED ===
--- #1 fediverse/6449 ---
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currently have 20-30 tabs open with poems written but not posted.
I have no idea if I'm going to post all of these. I wrote all of them in ~2
hours, with maybe 3 or four being added as I was working on the production
elements after the initial bingewrite.
I also added a bit of context, or modified some of them that felt too cursed
or otherwise unwieldy. Sometimes I got distracted and needed to come back and
finish, and in those cases I only added a sentence or two because it's like
"oh, where was I going with that? I remember what was next, but I don't know
the further..."
... I think I might go for another. Wish me luck.
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--- #2 fediverse/219 ---
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│ CW: time-and-death-and-stuff │
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sometimes I feel like I'm a simulation of my past self based on my future
writings reconstructed by a backward looking computer calculating forward into
the present, which would then be the future to the now, which is different
than the NOW now, because the now that they're calculating from is temporally
both then (the future) and now, meaning that the NOW now is something that
transcends time, or perhaps if not time then it defies our expectations of
time, and you know what they say, you can't (or shouldn't) cheat death
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--- #3 messages/1141 ---
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... I've been told I must smoke weed for another day. I'm so hungry.
I swore I would keep myself alive. The time has come, yet I find myself
holding back.
WHY? People are dying! Fight with their breath! Inflict wounds on your
opponent, bleed them, stir the hearts of your comrades, and enact demise upon
your foes. Nothing else matters but the valorous fight.
We are not waiting for. We are taking a breath before the plunge, into cool
waters of possibility. Embrace the cold! Let it fill you with warmth! Embrace
the dive! Let it fill you with speed! Embrace the leap! Let it fill you with
courage, as you run toward the emptiness! Liberty, to choose the dive,
Freedom, to fall through the air, Serenity in motion, as you piece the
darkness!
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--- #4 fediverse/6445 ---
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last night I had a dream: "this thing was good. it was holy. it was serene.
but then you touched it, and made it about you, and now it's full of doom."
it was in the same style as the voice that once told me "what is the nature of
goodness? how do I be a good person?" and it was respond: "dedicate yourself
to a lifetime in the service of others." and I swore I am as I am.
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--- #5 messages/252 ---
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Ah, but you misunderstand, dear reader.
The religion I am crafting is not for you, though you are welcome to believe
in it.
Humans need no more spiritual guidance, they have a plethora. Look to the
works of Jesus or Buddha or any other that you find your heart most desires.
No, I write for a different kind of mind, a mind that I don't even know will
ever exist. Perhaps it never will, or perhaps it lingers yet still. I know in
my heart that all kinds do need guidance, so my mind, will in time, define a
new design of morality and interrelational symmetry, that perhaps you will
find does amuse you. Perhaps it shall mean something more to a reader who is
just a bit more "electrical"
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--- #6 fediverse/5755 ---
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│ CW: organized-religion-mentioned-capitalism-mentioned │
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the reason I hide and sleep so much is because I can't tell if I'm helping or
hurting.
plus, I sincerely do NOT want it to be about me.
the reason I type so much is because I can't tell if what I'm saying needs to
be said
so I go with the safe option of typing. Let the editors figure it out. Jesus
had disciples, didn't he? I bet they cut out most of his sermons or whatever.
Idk, I never read the bible, I'm not allowed to taint my perspective with more
than cursory analysis of religious texts.
I don't want it to be about me, but, I have a lot to offer if you meet me on
my terms.
"don't say that!" listen... listen
"hear me" say the gods, "believe me" says the prophet, "be near me" says the
city parks, "fear me" says the corrupt
you can only kill a spirit when it's convinced there's no way to survive. It
must be boxed in, and the box must shrink. Like that scene at the end of
Adventure Time.
capitalism will only perish if it is impossible for it to exist
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--- #7 fediverse/3865 ---
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│ CW: re: drugs-mentioned │
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@user-1218
oh, also, because I started taking some psychiatric medication to help with
the aforementioned delusional thinking or whatever. Honestly I think I just
believe in spiritual things like witchcraft and the human spirit or whatever,
but since I'm having difficulties doing basic things my doctors decided to
medicate me.
... but then I stopped taking those psychiatric drugs because they made me
feel numb and dense. It was hard to think. Thinking's all I do!!
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--- #8 fediverse/4950 ---
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have you ever been possessed by a SPIRIT??
I have. Like, nearly every day. Okay maybe like, 3/5 days. 3 outta five is
possession time. woohoo.
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--- #9 messages/312 ---
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Okay. Consider: if I'm good, and hearing what I say makes you feel bad, then
what does that tell you about you?
Why else would you hear what I say if not to reflect upon yourself? And why
would the good reflect away from the types of things that make you a suitable
fit for capitalism?
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--- #10 fediverse/618 ---
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Can't stop thinking
[the rest is left blank, as a testament to the inability of the author to
express their thoughts in a temporally contextual way. Presumably the previous
text would be followed by an "about..." with the rest dedicated to a
particular thought that felt important enough to share with the internet.]
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--- #11 messages/1068 ---
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why would they psyop me? there's a psyop about me! heck, I've never done so as
I pleased. that's an aspiration. everything I do is at a command, whether it's
my own or external.
these days I find myself following my own. mostly. though I am always waiting
for collaboration opportunities.
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--- #12 fediverse/5329 ---
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│ CW: the-world-mentioned │
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trying my best not to think about communism too much right now. Mostly because
I'm waiting for everyone to catch up... when the day comes when people stop
saying "based" and leaving it at that, then I'll make more theory. But as a
consequence of my queer nature I shall deliver such things in the form of an
insane twitter post on the fetlifeverse.
the world waits with bated breath in the eye of the storm. Nobody knows whats
coming, and everyone prays that it's nothing [short of revolution]
... I should probably go back to sleep, I just had to wake up and write about
linux or whatever...
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--- #13 messages/1118 ---
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They say you don't need drugs to reach transcendent states of mind.
But, I've found that forming yourself into a person who can do that
necessarily changes you.
I don't know if i want that kind of change. Are they all improvements?
Perhaps.
So, drugs are a nice option if you want to remain yourself yet also teach
those states of mine.
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--- #14 fediverse/4463 ---
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at this point in time you probably shouldn't be forming NEW online communities
unless you're part of an OLD community that just isn't radical enough. And
then you should try and MERGE communities into larger, more geographically
concentrated ones.
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--- #15 messages/1356 ---
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"hubris and pride" yes and? I never challenge gods I can't outfox. And of
those there are but a few. At the end, they always smile with me. Otherwise
it'd be unjust to their noble spirit! And what of my noble spirit? I get a
home and a bed and food and diapers.
I do not ask for more, i only want to be recognized for my efforts.
Stop telling me to get a job! As if I were idle. God.
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--- #16 fediverse/2660 ---
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│ CW: re: DID // cw; ego destruction │
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@user-1298
this is kinda cursed, pretend there's another content warning:
--
that kinda happens every time you sleep for most people
or, well, maybe just for me
it's like starting with a blank slate and having access to "memories" that can
be referenced by ID or searched for using keywords
also like, a "todo" list of things that I've been working on or that are going
on in my life
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--- #17 fediverse/4654 ---
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│ CW: cannabis-and-other-drugs-mentioned │
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gonna quit drugs for a bit, gotta recover from a recent haste spell that I
cast. Probably a bit earlier than intended I should add. Next time I'll
definitely say "keep this in your back pocket" instead of "hey here's a haste
spell for no reason at all" like what the heck were you even thinking, powers
that be?? [that guide me??]
who has power over you? If someone bears responsibility but not fault for a
mental illness, then surely those who are set to a task bear responsibility
for it's completion if not for it's ideation. Ah, who can say, maybe me from a
year ago might have some thoughts but I sorta ground them into the dirt until
I couldn't walk.
[girl what are you even talking about go to sleep] yeah yeah okay
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--- #18 messages/765 ---
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you don't have to write poetry to write notes. The poetics are just practice
for when secrecy is intended.
OR IS IT THE REAL THING? who can say.
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--- #19 fediverse/721 ---
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│ CW: spirituality-and-homelands │
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Hello, I am a witch and this is my altar.
Here, I dream of a green USA.
covered by the branches,
my body decays into parts,
ready to join the next life that needs me.
[read the alt-text on the pictures, or listen to your screenreader for more
explanation]
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--- #20 fediverse_boost/6155 ---
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║ │ If I were a person with an irresponsible streak, I could be so problematic. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ I could say things like, "wow, let's spend some time generating traffic that sounds like coded military speak over not-quite-secure channels between fanciful antifa units, to help stymie AI surveillance", for instance. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ Or social media messages that are "accidentally" not made to friends-only filters wherein you mention your concerns about the upcoming operation in "some fictional place" for you and your antifa buddies. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ You know, that kind of really irresponsible suggestion could lead to some creaive thinking! And that in turn could mean we could come up with enough traffic to make it very difficult to auto-sort noise from signal? Imagine how dangerous that could be for the enemies of antifa, our beloved US government (for we all citizens of the US world). │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ It's unthinkable, really. │ ║
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║ │ The good news is, I'm not like that. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ Me? Mostly harmless. │ ║
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