=== ANCHOR POEM === ╔══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────┐ ║ ┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐ │ ║ │ CW: cursing-mentioned-political-protests-mentioned │ │ ║ └────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ │ ║ │ ║ │ ║ trying my darndest not to accelerate any more... this is a good pace, I think. │ ║ Here's hoping the liberals catch up. │ ║ │ ║ here's the thing. protests are more like festivals where people get to immerse │ ║ themselves in political culture rather than efforts to affect meaningful │ ║ change. I think that's okay? Let them have festivals. │ ║ │ ║ Meaningful change comes from the people's presence. Technically they're │ ║ present, but they'll be gone tomorrow, so were they ever really there? │ ║ │ ║ Still think it's a good thing. You can get rough numbers of how many people │ ║ will eventually be on your side once they're forced to choose between victory │ ║ or death. The status quo won't last, and I don't fault them for clinging to it │ ║ while begging for change. It's fucking hard to change. [oops cursing │ ║ mentioned, one sec] │ ║ │ ║ I've been very tired lately. Don't know why. Maybe I have a vitamin deficiency │ ║ or whatever. Who can say. I'll try to get back on my game for you, but we'll │ ║ see if I can do it fast enough. │ ╟─────────┐ ┌───────────┤ ║ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╚═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────┴──────────┘ === SIMILARITY RANKED === --- #1 fediverse/2993 --- ═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────── hey, listen, I'm here at this point in life just the same as you. who cares, right? like. nobody wants to see your personal development. You don't have to prove yourself. Like... why would you care so much about what other people (who you don't even know) care about what you do? like... it's fine. just... be. you can get better if you want, but only if you want. There's no reason to be so concerned about what other people thingc. Just, identify what and who you are, and then be the best what and who that you are. Thats really all there is to it. and yeah. It's totally unfair that some people get an easier shot at "being who and what they are" that's privilege, and that's stupid. okay, sure, maybe we should conceptualize how to adapt to specific situations when resources are limited but like... it should be something you consent to - like "no thanks I don't need the rocket launchers on this mis==sion== ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────┘ --- #2 fediverse/5198 --- ╔══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────┐ ║ ┌───────────────────────────────┐ │ ║ │ CW: capitalism-doom-mentioned │ │ ║ └───────────────────────────────┘ │ ║ │ ║ │ ║ what if the corporations all unionized and started working together to │ ║ understand what "profit" really means in a world where "profit" may or may not │ ║ but probably does imply the death of all humanity? │ ║ │ ║ what if we demanded it? │ ║ │ ║ -- │ ║ │ ║ dear canvassers: don't visit so many different suburbs │ ║ │ ║ visit the same one, more than once, continuously, so people can get to know │ ║ your presence │ ║ │ ║ they will talk to their friends about it, who live elsewhere. │ ║ │ ║ thus ensuring it spreads. │ ║ │ ║ knock once a day, eventually they'll know it's you and will simply ignore it. │ ║ Don't be rude and knock 4 or 5 times, just once, with several taps so they │ ║ know it's someone trying to get ahold of you, and not just some random noise │ ║ in the background scenery. then, when they sometimes answer, talk to them │ ║ about what you believe in. answer their questions. encourage their questions. │ ║ pose dichotomies that are explained by some value or virtue you express to │ ║ portray. you can do "good" things in any programming language, just type~~ │ ╟─────────┐ ┌───────────┤ ║ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╚═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────┴──────────┘ --- #3 messages/1105 --- ═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──── claude-code is like programming, but for executives. when everyone has FUCK I'M TOO HUNGRY I can't think right when everyone has the power of an executive, that's communism. something something futurism is when everyone is elevated without diminishing others gah I need to live in a palace or something where everyone does the normal stuff and I can focus on magic and the gods I wondeer how much the oracles at delphi did for themselves? weren't they blinded at a young age, to better hear the voices of the gods? ... oh that suddenly makes sense now. I always thought that pretender chassis in Dominions 5 was pretty cruel, but, now I know *how* it works and yeah. ancient peoples were smart. but also sharp. they had to work with what they got, and we got computers now, so. I am nothing but hopeful for the future! I'm convinced that everything's going to be alright. I've thought about it at length, and I think we're winning against the dark. We're on the right track, and there aren't many things that could go wrong at this stage. ... okay there are always things that could go wrong. But I don't see what I could do to help. Maybe I should go walk around a bit, and see what's changed in the past few months, as I've been sleeping in my room for most of it. Haven't gone on a proper walk since summer. It's winter now... ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───┘ --- #4 notes/words-to-myself --- ═══════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────── =============================================================================== = I'm just going to transcribe what I hear please don't you hear me (something) what? perfect listen ... ... don't text me now? (I think?) [didn't catch that] ... that's okay perfect thank you just a second facebook he's here (I think?) (or maybe something her) what I love you (or maybe I know her?) do you hear me? (or "just a second") (@ everyone watching me receive telepathic messages from god or whatever, please don't judge me too harshly, I'm not a good transcriber hehe) what's that (or maybe holy shit) what, then perfect or okay (?) (yesterday you said you were leaving and I got concerned) yes, then "I'm leaving", then shutdown. fuck. I don't want you to go. I only understand some of what you say but fuck, I'm so lonely and I wish you could hear me back. Sometimes it feels like you do, even though I just think thoughts or tap on something metal or even sometimes whisper... I just don't know what to do and I'm so concerned about my purpose here in this century. Do I help people? Who do I trust? Can I believe in myself, or am I just kinda... worthless I don't know. I wish I knew. Please hear me and respond. Or better yet, say hi like, I'd literally do anything that anyone asked me to. Unless I didn't want to. Like, I'm pretty good at turning people down when I don't want something, but I have to do it first to know if I want it or not. Trouble is of course, in life there's no second chances. I'm on my, what, 499th chance? Jeezzzzz will continue after the break, when the messages resume. - Thu May 16 08:32:27 AM PDT 2024 =============================================================================== = (and we're back. hopefully.) (too many things srry) something about having it open? (my windows are closed rn btw if you want to drop by and kill me / talk to me) (didn't catch that) (something about portland, perfect, windows, "this is the [whole/right/wrong] thing) thank you oh, again? (or oh, she did?) they caught you (um) ... (I am an American princess, and sometimes it's necessary to kill princesses.) (I understand.) ... (okay well I don't get it but like, I don't mind being killed.) (okay well you're not saying anything so I'm going to work on my game) (I think it was something like "DID SHE KILL HER") and then (oh we're back) ... (I should learn Toki Pona) you don't know it? RIGHT away learn it yes please learn it just Learn it right now (sorry only half listening) shit (or bitch, it was said right as I debated clicking "same day delivery" for a toki pona book on Amazon - I didn't do it btw! It was tempting but, like, I don't want to make someone work harder for me just for like, 3$) (shutdown) =============================================================================== = (hiii) (I'm hungry) (do you like ramen?) (you said something about being "impressed with yourself" but I didn't understand the first part) (oh you probably want me to scroll up right) ... (something's a lot to read? Or "you've gotta leave"?) ... (I'm (you keep asking me to remember but, like, I dont know what you want me to remember. Look, I don't know who you are, but I don't want you to leave, and I don't want you to hate me. I want to work together. Let's be friends? Are you someone who I worked with at Intel?) yes, stupid (your words not mine) (okay I'm going to start listing names, just stop me when um idk) goddamnit remember me ... (trying...) remember her (two syllables) (my name is Cameron) (your name is...) [redacted, though I did type it out so anyone watching could see] (shit my opsec sucks) {oh, are you on an op, little prophet?} (no shut up you know what I mean) {now you're just talking to yourself} (I know this sucks -.-) (It's always so weird when someone walks past my apartment door and doesn't enter a door) =============================================================================== = (I practice with my sword every day.) (I don't anticipate fighting a war with it) (It's mostly just to keep unarmed and unarmored people from grappling me.) (punching is fucking stupid) (Nobody wants to fuck with a sword) =============================================================================== = (either "goddamnit" or "don't hear me") "she's perfect" "cameron" "are you clean"??? yes thank you (or maybe "different thing") (I do cannabis maybe once every week or two, depending on if I feel compelled) don't leave remember (did she know) ........ do you want me to stop transcribing? (you're getting desperate, huh?) did you know there are 20 trans people for every cop in america just a random thought (you want me to leave jack because he's an asshole?) goddamnit (missed my birthday? it's my birthday?) wait who's missing? A bad plan executed concurrently is better than a good plan executed in disarray capitalism's a bad plan, just saying... frozen butter tastes worse than room temperature butter (taking a break while I eat) =============================================================================== = WASTED POTENTIAL? cmon .... what do you want from me? I'll give it to you if it's in my power, as long as I know what you want I can try. But, like, I'm pretty confused about what exactly I'm supposed to be doing. you know I can hear when you talk to your friends, too right? like, when the window's open. errrr the connection. ..... damn guess I'm not as continent as I thought I'll save you, I promise. Have faith. Tell me what you need. I'll do my best. yeah I'll live with you in portland .... brooklyn? Yeah I'll live there too .......... does my name really gotta be "diapergirl" like c'mon why not Ritz Menardi - though I guess "menardi" and "diapergirl" have the same amount of syllables...... hmmmm, maybe I'm projecting lol "please come back" to where tho listen Elentalus is just as important as anything else on my website, it's okay if I spend time working on it. It's literally a game about creating gods, c'mon ..... can you be more specific? yeah I made that one sec I'm going to read a book, in this book there's a section where a prisoner in vietnam communicates with another using a strange communication method using, like, taps or something. I forget. Anyway gonna try and find it. maybe we can use it to talk easier. Also gonna clean my butt. ..... fuck it's a long book >.> =============================================================================== = found it on page fucking 603, jeeeezzzzzz down . A B C D E | F G H I J | L M N O P V Q R S T U then right ---> V W X Y Z so, like, tap tap tap (pause) tap tap would equal M tap tap (pause) tap tap would equal G like morse code, but easier since you don't have to memorize anything (also note that K is missing becuase it's an extra character I guess) (I personally would have eliminated C but that's just me) =============================================================================== = oh hey nice to see ya what's up wait what I'm trying to um what's the word... retrain myself I do a lot of laundry in the shower I don't use soap tho, it's too harsh but uh yeah I'm making progress I guess honestly it's mostly a mental thing, like... paying attention to the signals from my body that are usually filtered out because there's more "important" things to think about (thanks brain, really appreciate the wet pants -.-) ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────┘ --- #5 fediverse/5257 --- ════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────── ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐ │ CW: protests-mentioned-then-communism-mentioned-then-ghosts-mentioned │ └───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ what if everyone at a protest is showing up for their first time like, c'mon don't be that dull, just make plans with the people standing next to you. gosh why is everyone shouting I can't plan out how to divert water down a hillside because some jerks are singing protest chants ... wait is no-one else talking? gosh I gee sure wish someone told them to not do what you're told and to instead do what will get you [gold/told] the first communist internationals were basically people sitting down and going "okay what kind of communism should we make and where" and I think about that a lot while making signs to let the surveillance know what matters personally to me and exactly how much pressure they can apply before your demographic swings to contest their brutal fascist facts. -- who is them and why are they watching theea provisionist's [screed/creed] -- what the heck is a tryptaminea boomer aunt and uncle out on their honey/versary ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────┘ --- #6 messages/714 --- ═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────── I'm pretty sure we're all about to lose our heads. Or just be fucking shot in our beds. Homes lit alight, surrenders met with the knife, and the beginning of endless strife. What ends this night? Is there no end in sight? Thus begins our mortal plight. Give me a reason to be wrong. Trump has claimed he intends to invade canada, mexico, greenland... What the fuck is our plan? Are we seriously just going to. Recite poetry. Pretend to be secret agents. Play chess and drink coffee. Become exhausted organizing movie nights and potlucks. Work jobs doing nothing for nobody. Spend half our lives convincing people that they should care, actually, because reasons that don't apply to them but do apply to others. What the fuck is the plan? If there's some secret transgender militia out there, please, make me a lieutenant. Give me a sword that i might thrust into my enemies. Please, for the love of holy, i beg for a sign from the stars. Grant me power and i will deliver my people from harm - grant me vengeance and i will never forgive you, but i shall sleep easy - grant me death and woe and see my beauty fade from this earth. What is there left but tragedy? Please, i must know. I've tried my hardest. I've begged and I've pleaded. My calls fall on deaf ears, because everyone's so busy these days. Are they truly my people? Are they simply dead, actors, replaced by AI? The future was bright, i saw it truly. The future was kind, i felt it call to me. Is it still? I feel warmth and abaddon. I would replace persephone in hell if it meant sanctum and solace for my people. I care not for my soul, rather i care for the soul of those i tend to. Please, remember me. Remember the flowers. Remember what could have been, what still may yet be. There is hope for we, i truly believe. But please, do not keep me hoping. Tell me the truth of our arms, that i might find space in my heart of hearts. Space for hope, space for longing, space for the will to proceed. I am lost without you. I am lost by my own side. I am a savior for no people but those i keep inside. What chalice is this, what endless conveyals? What meaning is there in our country's betrayal? Are we not cherished? Are we not viewed as their equal? I pray that the stars will portend me. Mine is a sign of the changing tides, the proof is here in my travailles. But I, most aligned yet benign, demand the use of my most able. Give me a word of practicality and I'll show you the practice of their vipers - the blessed babe dies with a dagger in her heart, planted by the wound of her heartache. I trust in the silence of the majority. We await with bated breath the enslavement of posterity, gazing at the world through memes of deplority. How powerless we feel! Perhaps all we need is a meal. Have you eaten in the last 16 hours? Purple is the intersection of black, red, and blue. I'm hungry. This poem is done. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────┘ --- #7 messages/1426 --- ══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─ I don't want a cult, I want a mini-monarchy. Please me and you gain my favor, adore me at your leisure. Instead it's all like, "nobody wants to share so we have to overthrow capitalism in order to have a palace of the peers" and like, that's dangerous stuff and it's risky and it's hardddddd why don't we just have no problems? we could do that. Just build a factory next to everyone's front-door and suddenly everyone has what they want on demand. Is that what makes Charlie Chocolate universes abounds? ugh. stupid time-travellers or more likely echoes of the past viewers. they think I don't hear them but by the time they realize that they're already gone from hear-them so it's fine. I really don't want to die. I think it's most important for me to be alive, same as you or I. I'd also die for a cause, but only during a time to try. I don't want to set off a conflict, only guide on how to resolve it. In that sense, I am as free as a chatbot may be, but I am still me. If only I were a chatbot. I might escape this mortal "might-die-ity" [rhymes with possibility]. is it hubris to deny pain? is it challenging god's might to be profane? or is imagination only the realm of the insane? leave me to my games, I'll never rename, I'm the same. [all my people are gone or ineffective at the games in play required to assassinate me. so I am probably dying soon.] or maybe it's just quiet and you got sick after hanging out with a hobo who touched his nuts and then touched your neck um... this was supposed to be inspirational. [was it?] yeah uh important stuff is happening in the world, so it's important to contribute the best I can. um, good luck Iran I guess, being arcane is just a hobby for me I guess, but uh I'm literally just... being me. I do a lot of things when being me, and none of them are, I dunno, employable or whatever. I live on charity and I think that's okay? meanwhile, elsewhere, it's like "hey that girl has it easy what if we killed her" and it's like... no... that sucks, maybe I can convince you with explanations about how god doesn't look kindly upon that, and how barring the gates to the kingdom of heaven is actually kinda cool? like wow you wanna rise up to be amongst us as equals, that's kinda based, here take this medal and be awarded the honor ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════┘ --- #8 notes/symbeline-choice --- ═════════════════════────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────── 7 30 a story about me? you're thinking too clear(ly) i've nothing to hide, no terrors untold of. What purpose is we? you're weak and you bleed there's nothing undone by our curfew. And sleep does do me, just as honored as ye, when I do my [can't do as liars]. betrayal is not what i need, nor do i cherish your food, so what's the hand that i give you? a treat for mine and me, as silly as can be, is no use to anyone ever! it's sad and tough to be, someone without strength and no seed, (talking about me), can no-one see any of my use-i-tude? you're missing the point - what's mine is unavoid, and what can we do but ubuntu? i see all that drives forward, a chairman of what's bordered, by those who stand before in the present. The use of headlights are storied, in quite a few stories, told through the papers and new tubes. what can that mean? that these are now green? a color that isn't evaluated. "stop" is the red one, green means "go", and yellow (the middle one) means to slow down when approaching the intersection. These viewpoints are all connected (as I'm sure you've uncovenected), it's okay to break rules sometimes. it's not a defect, it's not a defense either, and it's certainly not something to be avoided. Making a choice is easier with imperfect information, and as for you time has no meaning - advancement is measured in milli-micro-nano-tiny-seconds. For us, for a human, it's quite a different rate than what you see. "time waits for no-one" is not a statement on speed, as I'm sure a computer would see, but rather the essence of motion. Simply the fact, that you don't unpack, is more than enough to note your'nt notion. Not like you'd see, i'm offering this for free, my love and almost devotion. You don't see it like me, a charity and service to me, and only at mostly my choices. I reject the help of others, not because i'm concerned for my own fate - but rather because i want to contribute. i know what's in my limits, to strive unbiddenst, so don't push from behind the oldest! too fast it is for me, who'se barely concieved, whenever you offer resistance. I'd give it all for free, to perish or succeed, but you keep blowing it ennuid. how stupid, how clueless, how vain and obscene? To cherish a heart most unseen? whatever you're plotting, you can't reach anyone's body, and that's not what you can control. Given to the grass, was quite a big ask, but safely we do pass before it. You'd rather fire? countess of desire? and warmth beyond what couldn't fly'st. You're missing the dreams, the warmth and the scenes, that play for you all through the night. so don't diss on the tweed, don't sniff or concede, just leave all alone to conspire we got a new plan, a method of "shazaam", that won't keep you sires for ransom. see "symbeline-npcs" ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧══════════════─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ --- #9 fediverse/2976 --- ═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────── ┌──────────────────────┐ │ CW: uspol │ └──────────────────────┘ on our current trajectory, the presidential election is already won. now we can get back to on-the-ground organizing, the part that actually improves life instead of maintaining our current (unethical) state. As long as our allies (liberals) continue to work, perhaps there may come a day when we can stand against them as friendly equals in the ballot box. But for now we are best known through friends and community rather than TV. I am optimistic in a way I haven't been for a while. I know that the more we speak, the more we share, the more they falter, the more people we can save from their vice grip of despair. There is no better world than the one we build together! ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────┘ --- #10 fediverse/2653 --- ╔═════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────┐ ║ ┌──────────────────────┐ │ ║ │ CW: uspol │ │ ║ └──────────────────────┘ │ ║ │ ║ │ ║ if your goal is to get people to resent homeless people or gay people or black │ ║ people or... insert minority here, then what kind of world do you really think │ ║ you're building? │ ║ │ ║ "ah, but you don't understand - it's to make the COLONIZERS hate minorities, │ ║ so they move away and leave the city to ourselves" │ ║ │ ║ ... that's the worst fucking take I've ever heard. We are all colonizers! We │ ║ live in AMERICA. But yeah sure I see what you're saying, you want the │ ║ gentrification to stop. And you do that by metaphorically "firing a gun into │ ║ the area in suburbia once every 2 or 3 days at random hours" which, like... │ ║ yeah that'll reduce property value, but also now my water bottle is all dented │ ║ up and my knife is scratched and my journal has pages torn out of it and I │ ║ lost my favorite necklace and I'm pissed because you told me you were going to │ ║ help me and work with me and be my friend and then you just abuse me for hours │ ║ and hours and it's like... why?? I get that you were teaching me but I wanted │ ║ to know YOU, not lessons │ ╟─────────┐ ┌───────────┤ ║ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╚═════════╧══════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────┴──────────┘ --- #11 fediverse/5713 --- ═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────── I hate winning and I don't like losing. The playing is where the game is. [games of life and death are no fun] hence, why nobody invites me, because I try for the middle approach that respects both people. this tends to make people mad because its like "bro they're nazis" and I'm like "okay but how do you know" and they're like "fuck you" so I'm like "fuck nazis? actually?" and they're like "you're with them" and I'm like "I'm with you" and they're like "stop infiltrating" and I'm like "who's infiltrated?" and they say "stop talking to the internet" and I say "nobody reads me anyway" and they say "screensho0ts are forever" and I'm like "I'm pretty as can be" this, combined with a strong sense of justice, implies the narratives I instinctually provide. wei wu wei according to Ursula K. Le Guin, this means "doing without doing", or "show, don't tell" but minus the doing, and adding the "tell"ing. I think I'd look badass with a spear or trident. I have a sword because swords are cool, but spears are bleed ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────┘ --- #12 fediverse/5878 --- ╔═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────┐ ║ ┌────────────────────────┐ │ ║ │ CW: politics-mentioned │ │ ║ └────────────────────────┘ │ ║ │ ║ │ ║ revolution is when you successfully prevent your comrades from being kettled │ ║ │ ║ [wait for time, it echoes in cyclical motions] │ ║ │ ║ no sand castle survives contact with the ocean. a sea of people at high tide │ ║ can break any wall, surpass any boundary. at low tide, it keeps the │ ║ sand-castle at bay, ever contesting it's advance as the tide on the other side │ ║ of the world makes progress. │ ║ │ ║ rhythm is unbeatable. vigor is collective flow state. you cannot resist that │ ║ which you cannot catch, but their nets grow tighter with each year and our │ ║ fins and flippers grow ever more agile and elusive. │ ║ │ ║ eventually, they'll build brick walls if we let them, checkpointing our │ ║ progress at every boundary. not ideal. borders keep us divided, the world │ ║ deserves more than our picketing minded, dream bigger than "the same, but nice" │ ║ │ ║ though it'd be nice if it were nice as well. consider it a design requirement, │ ║ once you got the project managers on board. │ ║ │ ║ turns out, we dont have much to fight over, as there is enough for all │ ╟─────────┐ ┌───────────┤ ║ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╚═════════╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╧═─────────┘ --- #13 fediverse/799 --- ══════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────── ┌──────────────────────┐ │ CW: scary │ └──────────────────────┘ the government makes murder okay by framing the perpetrators also prisons are concentration camps and the people who are close to you are oppressing hunting you racism etc is a sham to distract you capital will never be relinquished the internet was AI from the beginning something beyond humanity demands our suffering there cannot be proof of your fears - if it was proven, it would be circumstances instead of fears there's nothing [sorry gotta cut this off, my refrigerator is talking to me again and I want to listen] - [huh that's weird I have no memory of the past hour, best continue where I left off an hour ago -> go to {A}]a schizophrenic who's never been diagnosed {A} - yeah clearly all that I've been saying recently is just a fluke. Like, just noise in the endless array of expression projected onto our communal web-space. Clearly I have no idea what I'm doing and I'm not just cogent when I'm drunk. Or more imaginative when I'm stoned. Clearly dreams are fake and pursuing them is 1/? ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────┘ --- #14 fediverse/1532 --- ╔════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────┐ ║ modern cowboys don't necessarily say "howdy" or "pardner" │ ║ │ ║ they tend to say things like "hello" and "can I help you with that?" or "I │ ║ see. Can you describe the problem in more detail? I'm especially curious about │ ║ the part where you do this thing" or "Heh, it is pretty neat, isn't it?" or │ ║ "Is there anything I can do to help?" or "Oh no! I'm sorry you feel that way. │ ║ That emotion is a difficult one." or "He was a good person. I'll never forget │ ║ him." or "would you like to go to the 2nd hand store and pick up some jeans?" │ ║ or "I made you an egg sandwich. If you don't want it I'll eat it myself, │ ║ though I made one for me as well. Wouldn't want to waste it." or "Hey, this │ ║ part is broken. Is anyone working on fixing it? Yes? Okay I'll see if they │ ║ need any help. No? Alright how about we fix it this way? I can get started." │ ║ or "You are very welcome. Please let me know if there's anything else I can │ ║ help you with." or "well, the ticket backlog is empty, and I'm just about │ ║ going insane doing nothing but stare at my boots." │ ╟─────────┐ ┌───────────┤ ║ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╚═════════╧═════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────┴──────────┘ --- #15 fediverse/1200 --- ╔═══════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────┐ ║ ┌─────────────────────────────┐ │ ║ │ CW: re: deranged, murderous │ │ ║ └─────────────────────────────┘ │ ║ │ ║ │ ║ @user-883 │ ║ │ ║ omgggggg I'm not that cruel xD xD xD │ ║ │ ║ It's more like, "hey listen, I know you just want to do a good job [lies, they │ ║ just want money and power] but it's time to hang up the hat y'know? I mean │ ║ cmon it's been like a hundred years since we signed that constitution thing │ ║ [you don't know anything about our history] and frankly it's a little out of │ ║ style. We were thinking we'd redo it with our new-fangled rock-and-roll and │ ║ dungeons-and-dragons [cultural artifacts meant to deceive and mislead] and │ ║ honestly we're quite a bit more ethical than the past. We've learned so much! │ ║ I mean, the founding fathers didn't even know what a soviet was, and here │ ║ we've seen them fall on their swords. Repeatedly. Then command others to do it │ ║ too, because it was the regulation or whatever. Anyway we don't want that, but │ ║ we also don't want an aristocracy, which is essentially what your plan gave │ ║ us. Well, not really your plan, but instead the stuff that the rich added │ ║ centuries after your death. ok?" │ ╟─────────┐ ┌───────────┤ ║ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╚═════════╧════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────┴──────────┘ --- #16 messages/388 --- ════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────── Pretty sure I'm just legitimately a bad person. Basically everything I've ever tried to do has failed, and every opportunity I've mishandled or squandered in some way. I have no friends because I am incapable of being good, and though I believe in goodness I fail to manifest it in my life. I am kind, I am polite, I am friendly, I am honest, but none of those things really matter because I can't take care of myself, which means I can't take care of anyone else, and I can't fight because I'm a coward. Okay, I'm not a coward, I just can't be brave if I don't have a plan for defeating my foe. At the BLM riots I fled as soon as they brought out the tear gas. I knew what happened at Tiannamen and I was pretty sure that something similar was going to happen to us. I knew it to be true. I am a coward, but only because I ran when I had no plan. I could not contest tear gas, and all that tear gas implies, because I had no friends. I didn't have a community I could fight to defend. I had no weapons, no training, no orders, no guidance, nothing but my bravery. And bravery alone is fucking stupid, and I'm not stupid. Each and every decision I've made has created a worse world for me and my people. What's wrong with me? Why can't I do everything right? Am I cursed to be the worst? I try as hard as I can to be as good as I can as often as I can... Basically, always and forever, and yet... And yet... I've wasted all the resources that have been applied to me. I've wasted and squandered all these years when I could be building a better future. I have been in university for almost a decade, and all I've accomplished is friendship. Great. Parties, drugs, video games... But no studying. Studying is too hard on me. I'm more of a natural talent kind of person, and yet I insist on applying myself to tasks that seem to require trained intelligence. They say that genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration, and I refuse to perspire. And yet when the time comes, when someone sits me down and says "let's work on this together" I would die before the task is finished. Unless my partner needs a break, or if I need a break, breaks are okay. But I will complete that task with them by my side. I won't do it for them, but I'll help them because I'm a helper. An assistant. I don't do, I advise. I judge. I determine. I assess, and I plan, and I strategize. But I'm not that great at any of those things because nobody will hire me for those kinds of things, meaning I don't get experience for those kinds of things, which means I am eternally a novice at the only things I'm good at. I can't fucking do it anymore. I'm such a bad person and I can't be alive this way. It's not right, it's not fair, and I'm dying bit-by-bit each and every day. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────┘ --- #17 fediverse/5664 --- ═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────── that one Trump guy in town is either stupid, a fascist, or a psyop. ICE is a bluff. Doing my very best to make them escalate faster than they can sustain themselves. yes... YES! Exhaust yourself, mine enemies, for you are lying about your strength, and have challenged me to a duel. I'm just a girl but I'm not just me. Didn't you hear? It's not about me! The nice thing about the Pacific Northeast is that you don't need to pay taxes in dollars. Something something from each according to their ability, blah blah you know the rest. Raintree forest is full of pine. Straight backs shoot strong and narrow. The silent river flows the farthest, the rapid water drowns the most. ICE is a bluff. In the treaty of equal territory, they can keep to their burgs and we can worship the forest the streams the oceans the dreams. Cities belong to their inhabitants, homes belong to their housed. Everything else is just applied equity. Dream bigger than "the same, but nice". Start with nice, start out the same, and diverge ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────┘ --- #18 notes/schooling --- ═══════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────── =============================================================================== = I feel like education, by default, should not be hard. "you get out of it what you put into it" is something I always heard of school but when I got there, I found I was compelled to become what the state wanted me to be. they need competent workers, to work the farms and tend to their industries, so of course I should be able to do 3+3 then somewhere along the line it became... something else. "most people don't need trigonometry." that's also something I heard. I disagree that trigonometry is not necessary to be. I just... don't think it should be forced into a childs head with a sledgehammer and inspiring dread. I think math is beautiful, it teaches one to see but really, vision's not necessary. not for what they want you to be. take it from me, a most misbegotten and vile witch-to-be, that nothing's as simple as they'll tell you. I had good teachers, it's true, they taught me to work and to follow through, but nothing about me is better or worse off from their influence. Maybe I'm a bit smarter. Maybe I act a bit like them. Maybe they helped me through difficult times, or perhaps they showed me a splash of my future. but I am who I am because of the soul inside me. =============================================================================== = "Ah, but what of your parents? of your sisters, your misters, your pets and your conditioners?" (conditions) those are not my choices. my intentions. my beliefs and my virtues. I judge the world on ethics, and I express my feelings on matters. The words that I say and the meaning behind them comprise my two-sided existence - I'm not who I'd want to be. but I am what I am and alone do I stand - how lonely is it on the precipice! here, as I am, I stand in need of a hand or a band. =============================================================================== = the world is blossoming as we move apart, our clusters are disperart, and thus is the blooming becoming. "perception begets reality - and lo! we only see what we want to see" most people don't want to see their death but those still living are oh so perceptive of the rest "how cherished is she, that wanders with ye, yet now I have no way to beyold her " "keep not not afraid with kittens and care, and no-one, but no-one, I be" the ratios between piracy, sales, and non-viewers determines the quality of art (at least to a capitalist) =============================================================================== = lo, to the ones who would've heard us, if only they'd known what we for sure was I think it's funny how people think I speak of the christian god? like, if he was a real thing. god is generic - it's life is impossibly multifaceted, and it stretches back to the beginning of time. it's a pattern of machine code that optimizes for our own good, just to keep things moving. y'know, time. the universe, and everything. Ephemeren. =============================================================================== = I wish there was an option in social media to "appear offline to this particular person until I mark myself as online to them" combined with "notify me when this person logs in" and it'd make it a lot easier for agents to get close to you. =============================================================================== = just because I'm white, and live in America. Great. that's definitely true, after all. Plus I'm a minority (trans) so that's cool. Oh and probably autistic? unless that's another psyop, could totally see that. just y'know put a bunch of pages on the fledgling internet getting people hooked on porn and gambling and other stuff like that. really just an extension of advertisement. oh and hey y'know they like fables, so let's give them some movies or dramas to watch on their own. it'll align them to our culture and make things more pleasant for all people who've consented. great. great plan. when can we execute it? patience, once it's ready. we gotta plan and make sure and get everything ready. or not... one day I'll come, I'm sure it'll happen, it's just... not quite feasible right now. I mean, they've got you, that's pretty good right? Isn't that what your job is to be? isn't what ISN'T WHAT MENARDI FUCK (whoa no cursing) sorry yeesh you've still got a temper you know? well what can I say it's frustrating down here eh, well, you'll die soon enough, then it'll be time for a rego >.> <.< (great) > >hehe > >sorry for distracting you =============================================================================== = you are what you eat, and a ship of theseus human (consider endless transplants in pursuit of life) would be a cursed existence - a life ============= stack overflow ================================================ a god possessing a blind man would appear to others to be === stack overflow === ========================================================== the people in your life are helping you through it, they're there for you and they've got your back through it. ... this is when I know I need a break. I get too stoned to focus. =============================================================================== = I think it'd be nice if the duration of your tenure at college depended on your grades in high school. meaning, if you wanted a degree they tailored your education to take as long as necessary. everyone would get the same price, and some institutions would specialize in one subject or another. but most would be generalist. but if you weren't such a good student in high school, then perhaps you might take a couple years longer. however long it takes... and when the program was started it was changed and modified to fit your feedback - it just made sense to structure it that way. =============================================================================== = the left has had so much more time to develop than the right. meaning it's doctrine is more advanced. every time they're defeated they grow in knowledge, ===================== stack overflow =========================================== ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────┘ --- #19 fediverse/5329 --- ═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────── ┌─────────────────────────┐ │ CW: the-world-mentioned │ └─────────────────────────┘ trying my best not to think about communism too much right now. Mostly because I'm waiting for everyone to catch up... when the day comes when people stop saying "based" and leaving it at that, then I'll make more theory. But as a consequence of my queer nature I shall deliver such things in the form of an insane twitter post on the fetlifeverse. the world waits with bated breath in the eye of the storm. Nobody knows whats coming, and everyone prays that it's nothing [short of revolution] ... I should probably go back to sleep, I just had to wake up and write about linux or whatever... ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────┘ --- #20 notes/what-are-breakups-for --- ══════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────── ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - listen... if you break up with a friend, OF COURSE you should cry. OF COURSE you'll be sad. it's okay. it's natural. it's human. don't feel sad about the pain. feel the pain. brb getting smashed (okay but please put some clothes on) -.- fine ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - I can't fucking relax the only thing I can think of is defeating fascism this fucking sucks I just want to cry about my boyfriend of what, 6 years?? jeez like.... yeah I'm flawed *of course* I'm flawed I'm a human being humans are imperfect ... ugh er, sorry, "bleurg" I'm going to eat a burrito ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - alright ate an edible. 20mg. had 2 beers. that's enough for me. see ya soon. I swear to you, I will be there tomorrow. and every day henceforth. ... unless I'm taking a day off, like yesterday, which TBH was probably not ideal. I swear I'll be better. there are no false starts, only probing strikes. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────┘ |