=== ANCHOR POEM === ═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────── ┌──────────────────────┐ │ CW: food-mentioned │ └──────────────────────┘ the neurodivergent urge to put the toppings and condiments at the bottom of the bowl so you can be ready when the food is ready and finished cooking "oh no my condiments and toppings aren't evenly distributed throughout my food because I put them at the bottom of the bowl instead of the top where they can more easily be mixed in" ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────┘ === SIMILARITY RANKED === --- #1 fediverse/246 --- ═══════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────── ┌──────────────────────────┐ │ CW: food-cooking-opinion │ └──────────────────────────┘ the broth they sell at the store is way too thin. boullion is much better because it's so concentrated. think of it as "essence of X" when you have "broth of vegetables" or "broth of carrots and onions" or whatever... can help make it easier to cook something decent by using general flavors ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────┘ --- #2 notes/rice-stuff-recipe --- ═════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────── Boil the rice. when it is finished and hot, add a lot of butter and stir it in. when done add cinnamon and stir it in. then add raisins if wanted. then milk to taste. add sugar if desired. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────┘ --- #3 fediverse/1826 --- ═════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────── ┌───────────────────────────┐ │ CW: food-mentioned-recipe │ └───────────────────────────┘ a box of tri-color rotini a good spoonfull of better than boullion italian a medium amount of large colby-jack cheese cubes (about one for every other bite) boil with just enough water for the noodles to start sticking to the pan once entirely cooked and add cheese, butter, and top with generous dashes of smoked paprika and lime juice. don't strain the noodles. have just enough water left to have a thin sauce. if vegetables are desired, firm carrots and peas (read: frozen or fresh, not canned) or diced/shredded onions. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────┘ --- #4 fediverse/2954 --- ══════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────── whenever my cat is whining I walk around doing things that she might want until she stops trying to claw me - oh you want your litter cleaned? yeah sure I gotchu. oh you wanna go outside? nah okay how about playing with this yarn? no? okay let's see... oh dear you can see the bottom of your food bowl, conveniently forgetting the other mostly full food bowl over there... 😅 ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────┘ --- #5 fediverse/4511 --- ════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────── ┌───────────────────────────┐ │ CW: food-recipe-requested │ └───────────────────────────┘ does anyone know of a recipe that uses only flour, butter, yeast, eggs, and salt? It doesn't need to use every ingredient, but those are easy to acquire. ideally with the ability to include nuts or dried fruit or something else nutritious. the requirements include the ability to cook it using only a rice-cooker (or crock pot, or other kind of slow-cooking ceramic dish which heats from all directions at once) in addition, it must NOT need kneading. It must be able to be cooked passively without attention. The fewer steps, the better. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────┘ --- #6 fediverse/236 --- ╔═══════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────┐ ║ ┌────────────────────────────────────┐ │ ║ │ CW: cooking-advice-butts-mentioned │ │ ║ └────────────────────────────────────┘ │ ║ │ ║ │ ║ heat makes things squishy. it works from the outside in, and the longer you │ ║ cook it (meaning, the lower the temperature) the more the heat can spread │ ║ through - meaning if you want an even consistency, do lower heat for longer │ ║ periods. if you want a different texture on the outside compared to the │ ║ inside, do higher temperatures over less time. just make sure you devote extra │ ║ attention to stirring to make sure you don't burn it. │ ║ │ ║ seasoning is sorta like a coating / dusting that you can apply to food. the │ ║ longer it rests on the food (and the more the food is porous / cooked) the │ ║ more the seasoning can penetrate into it - meaning if you want the flavor of │ ║ the seasoning to be distinct from the flavor of the food item, then add the │ ║ seasoning toward the end. if you want them to combine into one combo-flavor, │ ║ then add the seasoning early. │ ║ │ ║ some seasonings degrade with heat though, especially herbs. so add them toward │ ║ the end. or add a butt-load of them. │ ║ │ ║ salt+(butter/oil)=yummmmmmmmmmmmm │ ╟─────────┐ ┌───────────┤ ║ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╚═════════╧════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────┴──────────┘ --- #7 messages/1184 --- ════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─── weed is inedible when raw. you gotta cook it first. idk why people insist on burning it... ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──┘ --- #8 fediverse/3343 --- ═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────── ┌──────────────────────────────────────┐ │ CW: food-mentioned-cursing-mentioned │ └──────────────────────────────────────┘ Cholula brand tm hotsauce? don't you mean the "I fucked up while cooking and want to still eat it" sauce? ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────┘ --- #9 fediverse/475 --- ═════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────── I love cooking. My favorite food is "melange" also called "gruel" by the less culinary people in my life. It consists primarily of a rice or noodle base, plus a bunch of other ingredients (usually sauteed) that are quite nutritious. Then, you season in a way such that it tastes delicious and savory and BOOM you have the perfect food. Well, not as good as steamed eggs, but still pretty good. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────┘ --- #10 fediverse/1856 --- ═════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────── ┌───────────────────────────┐ │ CW: food-recipe-mentioned │ └───────────────────────────┘ rice and lentils in the rice cooker with lots of butter when it's done, serve in a large bowl and add one can of vegetable soup is delicious ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────┘ --- #11 fediverse/3622 --- ════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────── ┌──────────────────────┐ │ CW: food-recipe │ └──────────────────────┘ nachos cast-iron skillet (or other deep pan) throw in some butter or vegetable oil (not olive oil) heat it up a bit crack four eggs in there cut some slices off of a hunk of cheese add some chips on top of the eggs add the cheese on top of the eggs cover it and leave it on the like, 2 or 3 out of 10 heat setting come back whenever it's done transfer to plate add salsa boom nachos (optional but recommended: beans): for the beans, if you want, throw a can of refried beans on the stove and add a TINY can of tomato chunks and a big hunk of butter let it cook until it's smooth consistency, stirring and such. Add paprika, cumin, and a bit of oregano. then put the beans on before the salsa, and BOOM even BETTER nachos. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────┘ --- #12 fediverse/3455 --- ════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────── ┌───────────────────────────────────┐ │ CW: food-quartermastery-mentioned │ └───────────────────────────────────┘ when you run out of an ingredient you use often (like butter, seasoning, or flour) put the container by your shoes. then, when you go to the store, look through all the empty containers and make a mental list. when you get home and are putting things away, if you forgot something just leave the old container by the door. everything else can be recycled / trashed. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────┘ --- #13 fediverse/256 --- ═══════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────── ┌──────────────────────┐ │ CW: food-recipe │ └──────────────────────┘ rice in the rice maker with butter, worcestersire sauce (not too much!) and salt when it's done, flake hard boiled eggs (2 eggs per cup of rice) on top and douse with a small-mediumish amount of soyaki could do well with either a packet of dehydrated vegetables or perhaps some diced carrots or green onions. Honestly carrots go well in most things. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────┘ --- #14 fediverse/4005 --- ══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────── ┌──────────────────────┐ │ CW: food-mentioned │ └──────────────────────┘ the thing about carmelized mushrooms and onions is that they demand patience. they make you sit there and wait, always at attention ready to stir every couple minutes. but the end result is so worth it. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────┘ --- #15 fediverse/4744 --- ═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────── ┌──────────────────────┐ │ CW: cat-mentioned │ └──────────────────────┘ me to my cat: "don't eat so much that you puke, okay?" me to me: "yeah I can take on another task, I'm almost done with this one and then I'll just do that one and maybe this one'll get back to me at the same time as this one which conflicts with this other thing so maybe I'll just puke, okay?" ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────┘ --- #16 fediverse/4446 --- ═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────── ┌──────────────────────┐ │ CW: food-mentioned │ └──────────────────────┘ lentils are easier to cook than beans and are nutritionally very similar. Heck, I just throw them in with the rice in the rice-cooker and it works out great. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────┘ --- #17 fediverse/234 --- ═══════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────── ┌──────────────────────┐ │ CW: food-recipe │ └──────────────────────┘ carrots and sweet onions sauteeing on the stove rice in the rice-cooker seasoned with butter and boullion garnish with chopped green onions and a dash of garlic powder ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────┘ --- #18 fediverse/5539 --- ══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────── don't put dirty dishes in the sink you filthy animals put them on the counter NEXT to the sink [it's not arbitrary it's just better] ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────┘ --- #19 fediverse/4066 --- ═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────── the lawful good in me says "clean up that spill you just made" the chaotic good in me says "throw a brick at a cop car" and the part of me that listens says "uhhhhh okay somewhere in the middle of those two points is "ignore the spill and the cops and just finish making your ramen I guess?" and frankly that's the one I'm more likely to listen to" and frankly that's the one I'm more likely to listen to. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────┘ --- #20 fediverse/3776 --- ═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────── whenever repeating letters like thiiiiiiis or thisssss make sure if you're doing K's that you have at least four ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────┘ |