=== ANCHOR POEM ===
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 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: Mh-          │
 └──────────────────────┘


 @user-889 
 
 my boyfriend gets like, 2 social spoons to spend per day. He usually uses them
 on work because meetings and such.
 
 On the other hand, I'm excitable and passionate. I'm constantly driven to
 share things I find or think about. If you go on a walk with me without my
 mask I'll spend the whole time showing you pretty pieces of moss and stones.
 
 I usually message him once or twice per day. If the first one isn't responded
 then maybe he just wasn't interested in the thing I showed him - the second
 time he's probably burnt out.
 
 It fucking hurts.
 
 but I'm fine, clearly I'm fine, anyone who looks at me knows I'm fine
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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=== SIMILARITY RANKED ===

--- #1 fediverse/1381 ---
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 ┌────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: death-mentioned-nuts-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────────────────┘


 I'm a bit of a narcissist because I had a lot of... alone time as a kid, and I
 was a bit starved for attention.
 
 but I'm also afraid of rejection so if you have anything to say I'll listen
 for hours and try to be what you need me to be and give what you need me to
 give so that you don't leave me.
 
 Also, nobody has ever hurt me. And so I trust wholely and completely and
 absolutely. I get logically why that's not a good move but frankly I'd rather
 die than be cooperative. ah nuts better add a content warning.
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--- #2 fediverse/1585 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: Lonely vent about pride month │
 └───────────────────────────────────────┘


 @user-883 
 
 Yeah I get it. I've been applying for remote jobs and they won't fuckin' hire
 me. Fuckers, I'm talented and qualified, who gives a fuck about my lackluster
 resume?
 
 Supply and demand is fake because software developers are only offered 100k+
 jobs and yet there's so many of us who are starving. What the fuck.
 
 I have a friend in Brooklyn, yet I'm on the west coast. Fucking geography
 amiright? I'd love to live with them and yet I can't because of something as
 simple as money. What's the purpose in that restriction? I'm so fucking
 talented, please fucking hire me. What can I do to get what I want? Ugh,
 modern society perplexes me.
 
 Like, yeah sure it's great that we have the internet and hospitals who can
 cure malaria and whatever, but why do I feel so encaged? It's so strange, and
 yet here I am -.-
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--- #3 fediverse/4738 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────┐
 ┌─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐                      │
 │ CW: revolutionary-politics-mentioned-swearing-mentioned │                      │
 └─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘                      │
 you said you wanted a revolution, and, well, I could not be more proud of you.   │
 It's actually getting done and if I stop and think about it I'm kind of          │
 amazed. Never thought I'd see this kind of change so quickly.                    │
 "what change? I see nothing substantially different"                             │
 oh yeah well do you go outside often                                             │
 do you hang out in the park                                                      │
 I know it's fuckin' january and it's cold as heck (ah nuts swearing mentioned    │
 one sec) but homeless people have to LIVE in that weather so like... wear        │
 layers, spend time outside, detox from dopamine, write poetry and tear it out    │
 and leave it on a park bench, be loud, claim the space, it's yours, that's       │
 what it's there for.                                                             │
 I see it in your eyes. I see it in the random notes I find on the sidewalk.      │
 Everyone says "make friends, find community" and I say "commune with a           │
 stranger" but I'm also a witch and that's a pretty witchy thing to do.           │
 ... Really fuckin' wish we still had payphones (ah nuts swearing mentioned -     │
 oh already CWd)                                                                  │
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--- #4 fediverse/4088 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
 I'm such a fucking extrovert. I can't stop talking to nobody on the internet
 because I don't have anyone else to talk to.
 
 Well, I do, but I like to talk to you. To nobody. To the space between
 computers.
 
 ... [and everyone else beyonds, like the CIA or whatever, but TBH I don't
 really factor them into my social calculations because they never really talk
 back.]
 
 I like it because I can write whatever I'd like without the confines of
 another person's generated conversation.
 
 Instead of 50% one person's LLM output and 50% another, it's 100% mine
 
 [if this were an LLM, which it's not, haha]
 
 and that somehow feels more... freeing
 
 like a truly disconnected thought
 
 and that's what's so special about it... this act of solitudinous
 contemplatial... the fact that it's unique amongst it's counterparts.
 
 ... though it can also become untethered, which is why it's important to edit.
 
 [proceeds to never edit a single post]
 
 = so =
 
 ugh it's so hard to think when all I can think of is feelings. Why can't they
 be done
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--- #5 fediverse/1714 ---
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 @user-246                                                                        │
 most artists get around that by posting everything they make everywhere they     │
 go.                                                                              │
 I tend to be a bit selective, because I'm different things to different          │
 people. All things I care for and own, but designed for different context.       │
 for example, I rarely share what's in my journals, but that's about half of      │
 what I've made. I show them to basically everyone I know IRL, but very few       │
 people actually understand or are into them. When I find someone who does it     │
 fills me with hope, that perhaps I'm not as lost as I had thought.               │
 perhaps it makes me less trustworthy, but I'm not used to being exposed. I       │
 never used Twitter, I don't use Facebook (not that often) so my "self" was       │
 something I preferred to perform as on a stage of my own design.                 │
 Like wearing different clothes to express yourself, or performing gender in a    │
 certain way, I am myself when I am most expressful. And I do that in different   │
 ways in different contexts. I'd love to show more, because I'm a performer at    │
 heart, and a performer of the heart.                                             │
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--- #6 messages/108 ---
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 I like when people make fun of me because it gives me a chance to defend
 myself. Simultaneously I don't like when people are mean to me. I like when
 people find me endearing, and point out the ways that I'm different. It gives
 me a chance to say "oh yes this is why I do that" which feels cathartic
 (because it validates my position) but also because it gives me the
 opportunity to improve it (through debate) and it helps the people who learned
 from me because I can improve myself and my only reason for improving myself
 is if the new thing I'm learning is better than the thing I used to do which
 means the people who learn from me are improved and the people who best me
 argumentatively are improving me.
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--- #7 fediverse/4098 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
 ┌────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-mentioned-ableism │
 └────────────────────────────────┘


 ngl I kinda hate it when people meme about donald trump being incontinent
 
 like, yeah, he pees his pants, so what? I DO TOO. Fucking sucks. Every time I
 read people saying nasty things about it I can't help but read them in my own
 voice, and that gives me plenty of ammunition to use against myself when I'm
 feeling down.
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--- #8 fediverse/169 ---
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 @user-95 one of the most empathetic people I ever met on VR chat was consoling
 me with their mic off while I was oversharing about some stupid things people
 did to me in the past. things that stupid me thought were okay and actively
 encouraged because I was stupid. anyway when their mic was off their body
 language spoke for them. I'll try that next time.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #9 fediverse/4544 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cursing-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────┘


 I can't cancel my internet because I use it to work, which almost pays enough
 to cover rent, and nothing else.
 
 It's hard to avoid spiraling when you run out of money. Every time this
 happens to me I start feeling things
 
 like... am I good for society? Society doesn't want me, clearly, because I
 don't have any money. And currency is how you measure demand, right? It's
 literally a measure of value.
 
 But then I think of all the homeless and poor people and, like... I value
 them, so what if they don't have dollars? It's literally just paper. Or bits
 in a mainframe that nobody knows how to program anymore.
 
 So if they're valuable at least to me, yet me, with my 67$ in the bank and
 127$ internet fee, is not valuable to me... Then what's the discrepancy?
 
 I'm not trying to be hard on myself, it's not my fault that I bleed money, but
 I still feel terrible.
 
 It's like a common cultural persuasion, if you run outta cash you better kill
 yourself fast.
 
 Fuck that. Oops cursing mentioned, one s
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--- #10 fediverse/4786 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────
 9 times out of 10 the answer is fuck yes, you're my friend, I support
 everything you're handling. Give me the word and I'll be there, ride or die,
 I'm here for it.
 
 something I wrote a while back:
 
 fucking boss your friends around
 
 it's as easy as saying "hey I'm gonna go do this-or-that thing, you don't seem
 busy can you do that-or-this thing for me? I need it done by this-and-this
 time - oh you're busy? yeah no worries I'll go ask someone else. oh you're
 busy resting? doing girl healing? hell yeah next time invite me I'm due for a
 "pizza and weed" night."
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--- #11 fediverse/4521 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
 I have between one and ten hundred visits to my website every day, but I don't
 really post it anywhere new anymore. I also have zero followers on Neocities.
 
 On Mastodon, I have ~70 followers, most of whom are inactive. Seventy is a
 good amount, a normal amount, a reasonable amount, an unsuspicious amount, and
 yet every time I see someone wearing the colors I can't help but wonder if
 they know me.
 
 I'm too busy being furious to be lonely. I used to be, before I realized how
 important I am. How important? Just as much as you are, I know it.
 
 I'm a sprinter. I didn't spec into endurance at character creation. Nobody
 chastises the mage for skipping leg day.
 
 I act in fits and bursts. I am sharp like a scalpel, but needles dull just a
 bit when piercing the lid of the HRT. Good thing I'm not made out of metal, I
 can bend myself back into place, so long as everyone else can keep pace.
 
 I don't know who needs to hear this, but you do. you are crucial. Listen to
 this. Care for yourself and for others, do it for u
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #12 fediverse/4730 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────
 I am not interested in being given money. Usually it means someone wants
 something from me, like labor or some of my stuff. I have all the stuff I
 need, why would I need more money? I like my stuff! I'll help out when people
 need help but I do that because I'm a good person, not because I want you to
 fucking pay me for it.
 
 I have all the things I need... except a deed to my house. apartment. oh yeah,
 they can kick you out for that sin. well, sorry, I couldn't find out at
 goodwill or in the trash bin, so I guess I'm deed-less. My deeds go unproven.
 How can I prove that I deserve a decent life in this particular roof, the one
 I find over my head, when I cannot prove that my deeds qualify me for a decent
 life lived under this particular roof?
 
 I mean, did you ask the neighbors if they want me gone? Am I really that
 smelly? Does my keyboard make "clickety-clack" noises all through the night?
 Does my cat meow and bother the children? Do my friendly smiles and waves make
 you uncomfortable?
 
 Have a decent life.
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--- #13 fediverse/2524 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: personal         │
 └──────────────────────┘


 nixed my job offer today because something told me to stay in town.
 
 called my ex-boyfriend an asshole today, so he's probably not going to keep
 paying my rent.
 
 sold the shares of stock that my grandfather gifted me as inheritance, so I'm
 no longer a capitalist I guess.
 
 at least my elbow doesn't hurt anymore. I didn't get outside today but I
 cleared a lot of blockers for the coming tomorrows.
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--- #14 fediverse/1280 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────┐
 I'm like the opposite of a politician. I'm crude and filthy, apsolutely          │
 reprehensible on main, kinda scary tbh? and overall just a strange and weird     │
 person. Also I talk about cooking a lot, with a very plain diet (carrots and     │
 rice and sticks and mud, because I'm an autistic)                                │
 but ask anyone who knows me and I'm the kindest person. I am empathetic, I       │
 think about others needs before thinking of my own. I am steadfast and           │
 dedicated to solving the problem in front of our noses. At least, the ones we    │
 share.                                                                           │
 People tell me I'm binary, that I'm "either 100% or zero percent" and I don't    │
 really get that either. Isn't it a good thing to try your hardest? Isn't it      │
 good to be improving and honest and ethical and driven and focused?              │
 I also talk about strange things a lot, like gravity and multidimensional        │
 arrays and grand narratives and emotional kinesthesia or strategic plays in      │
 Overwatch or how to bake a good cookie or ways we still mourn us.                │
 ... where was I going with this? Also part of me is distracted. Just who th      │
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--- #15 fediverse/459 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
 You know, you can always ask me what the fuck I'm talking about. I am more
 than willing to share, and I don't mind taking a moment or three to explain.
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--- #16 fediverse/4540 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
 most people in the world are dumb as a bag of bricks
 
 but that's okay, I still love them, and so should you.
 
 everyone I hang out with is sharp as a tack
 
 and I love them still, for I don't have a preference for blunt objects.
 
 some people don't feel emotions
 
 I think they're just depressed
 
 some people can't stop
 
 won't stop, I say.
 
 really as long as they follow their heart and sing a tune that is true
 
 I think they're alright.
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--- #17 notes/water-to-wine ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
 "is this a water party, or a wine party?"
 
 "depends on if jesus is going..."
 
 "okay I'm in, that guys so cool"
 
 "yeah totally like any party with him just... feels like a great time"
 
 "what a swell guy"
 
 "really turns the "water to wine" y'know what I mean"
 
 "yeah totes like what a guy"
 
 "absolute unit"
 
 "that guy can just do anything right"
 
 "like whoa, he's so strong he could pick up a barn"
 
 "yeah and like so handy and skillful, what a neat guy"
 
 "oh and I heard he's really good with kids and animals, that sounds neat"
 
 "yeah sounds like someone I'd surely like to meet"
 
 "we should hang out with this guy more often"
 
 "he seems pretty chill"
 
 "well. not really. He's pretty expressive. Not very low key."
 
 "true I'm just so burnt out from capitalism that-"
 
 "-yeah dude I know."
 
 "... fuck what are we gonna do about it"
 
 "I dunno man, just... go along with it I guess"
 
 "okay so uhhhh idk what that means"
 
 "just be cool and play along"
 
 "... what"
 
 "..."
 
 ...
 
 .
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--- #18 fediverse/1082 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
 ┌─────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: mental-health-cursing-mentioned │
 └─────────────────────────────────────┘


 damn, I'm a pretty cool person. I wish I could hang out with me. Like, for all
 my flaws (what even are they ? ? ?) I'm still pretty awesome. I'm proud of me!
 Thank you parents, for raising me as such! Thank you past me, for making the
 decisions that you did! Also, fuck you past self, for making those OTHER
 decisions. You know the ones I'm talking about. No, that's not an excuse, it's
 all your fault and you're awful and everything about you sucks.
 
 Wait, hang on, wasn't I feeling happy to be here? Wasn't I just excited to
 live in the moment? Wasn't I just thinking about how:
 
 "all you have are good things, nothing here is bad"
 
 ? ? ?
 
 well, I still love you, even if you're a little "all over the place". [rereads
 post] hell yeah you ARE a cool person, yes you are, such a good cool person,
 yes yes yes, what a good girl you are oh my goodness :D :D :D
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--- #19 notes/what-are-breakups-for ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 -
 
 listen... if you break up with a friend, OF COURSE you should cry.
 
 OF COURSE you'll be sad.
 
 it's okay.
 
 it's natural. it's human.
 
 don't feel sad about the pain. feel the pain.
 
 brb getting smashed
 
 (okay but please put some clothes on)
 
 -.- fine
 
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 -
 
 I can't fucking relax
 
 the only thing I can think of is defeating fascism
 
 this fucking sucks
 
 I just want to cry about my boyfriend of what, 6 years??
 
 jeez
 
 like.... yeah I'm flawed
 
 *of course* I'm flawed
 
 I'm a human being
 
 humans are imperfect
 
 ... ugh
 
 er, sorry, "bleurg"
 
 I'm going to eat a burrito
 
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 -
 
 alright ate an edible. 20mg. had 2 beers. that's enough for me.
 
 see ya soon. I swear to you, I will be there tomorrow. and every day
 henceforth.
 
 ... unless I'm taking a day off, like yesterday, which TBH was probably not
     ideal.
 
 I swear I'll be better.
 
 there are no false starts, only probing strikes.
 
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 -
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--- #20 notes/family ---
═════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────────────
 family is a group of people who you can always go with your first impression
 with.
 
 what the fuck was I saying - oh yeah - so when you are alive in the present in
 a
 singular moment, your pressence is comprised of simultaneous directives and
 instructions to the matter which comprises you. I'm saying you have to make
 decisions and react to stimuli and pursue the things you want. Basic biology
 really.
 
 stay on target, stayyyyy on targett - oh right so generally when you react to
 things you generate a list of informations gained. what does that even mean
 okay
 so here's a better way to describe it: it's like a list of informations - fuck
 
 listen i'm not trying to be rambly it just comes with the territory.
 
 okay so family is when you can react with your gut instinct - you are fully
 relaxed and yourself. It's where you can be trusting and unguided and simply
 relax and be free. it's just... like... being close with someone enough that
 you
 can be yourself around them. without any mask, without any pretense.
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--- #21 fediverse/3738 ---
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 "girl why are you so negative"
 
 uh, because I had been unmedicated for a long time and now that I am I can
 probably be more positive. Though I do want to switch medications, this one
 makes me feel like a muggle.
 
 "no I said why are you so naked"
 
 oh, because it's hot as heck!!
 
 plus, I don't really care for the opinions of people who have nothing better
 to do than peek at cute 30 year old witches skimping around their own house.
 like... okay I rent an apartment, but my blinds are closed, and even if they
 weren't you'd need binoculars to see into my apartment unless I'm like, right
 up against the window, which... doesn't happen. Or if it's at night with the
 lights on inside and not out, but I'm aware of that and I plan around it. I'm
 not a... um, what's the opposite of voyeur?
 
 "extortionist"
 
 no that's when someone is really flexible. ah whatever. I got 162 characters
 remaining but I think that's okay every once in a while, right? I mean it's
 not like I have to use them all because of some divine mandate or
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--- #22 fediverse/2523 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 I just want to stress that most people know more than me
 
 slept on my back. had a good dream. gonna shut the fuck up for a bit and see
 what ya'll get up to. ;) 😉
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--- #23 fediverse/5636 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────
 I think it's ironic how I ended up posting a "things I almost posted"
 screenshot directory somewhere other than where I almost posted them.
 
 and all they saw were the outtakes.
 
 I bet they'd see a completely different point of me,
 
 but they never talk to me
 
 so they don't know me.
 
 oh well, alas, it's fine I'm sure I'm being designed.
 
 who can say, I am but at productive play, please react so I can do ongoing
 story. I learn from each and every encounter I encounterate.
                                                           ──────────┐
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--- #24 fediverse/3155 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: cursing-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────────┘


 @user-1461 
 
 my issue is that I've never really had project-mates. Every time I try nobody
 will work with me. I applied to like, fifty different jobs, and nobody
 interviewed me! Sheesh, guess they don't want me. FIFTY JOBS. Entry level.
 Beginner programmer.
 
 ah well. I guess they confused someone who would work for 40,000$ per year
 with someone who was 1/3rd as useful as someone who deserved 120,000$ per year.
 
 I'd love to get experience. I'm sure I'd feel significantly differently with
 as much. Perhaps I'd even decide that programming professionally isn't for me,
 which would feel... quite defeating
 
 who can say. Not I, for I have not experienced it. Though I will say my time
 in hardware taught me that I'm fragile and can't work too much. Like a scalpel
 that dulls when used consistently, I am a scalpel that gets no practice... Is
 that really useful at all? who can say. Not I, for I have not experienced it.
 Though I do like writing logical machines. Laying out data. Picturing
 structures.
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--- #25 messages/650 ---
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 I've had multiple people close to me who don't read my writing tell me that
 "you can't overthrow capitalism with poetry" and... Yeah maybe they're right.
 I have zero reason to believe that anything I've \*ever\* written has \*ever\*
 had an actionable impact upon the struggle. I have no reason to believe that
 people are more radicalized, motivated, or otherwise inspired. I have several
 reasons to believe that all of this was just an exercise in my own narcissism
 and delusion.
 
 So I'm deleting my Mastodon account, and moving forward I probably won't
 update my website very much. Everything I do will be localized, regional, and
 hopefully more useful.
 
 It feels like I'm abandoning the idea of a nation in exchange for a tangible
 village. I'm fucking depressed about it. \*I like nations\*. But I like people
 more. So if you'd rather I keep my thoughts to myself and instead feed the
 homeless, aka a bunch of people who aren't gonna take up arms against our foes
 and instead will consume our time and resources while we practice organizing
 on them, then yeah sure fine whatever. I'll do it. If you'd rather I keep
 posting \*content\*, ugh, fucking too bad, should have done something about it
 while I was active.
 
 If I'm ever rich I'll hire an editor to turn whatever the fuck I've been
 making into a book that I'll give away for free. I probably will never be rich
 though, and instead will burn every bridge I can get my hands on and suffocate
 on the soot.
 
 Alright. Bye forever. Don't think about me again.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #26 fediverse/4543 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
 @user-1698 
 
 Ha that does sound pretty "fun" - I take it you aren't a pianist?
 
 I smell bad because... reasons... so I am always hyper-aware of myself when
 I'm in situations like that. The idea that I might ruin someone's day by being
 there terrifies me.
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--- #27 fediverse/1503 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────
 ┌─────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: vague-gesturing-at-paranoia-I-think │
 └─────────────────────────────────────────┘


 part of me kinda wants to be the kind of nerd that writes down the names of
 every file that's permanently stored on my computer so that I can verify in my
 own handwriting or perhaps using a type of code that the files on my computer
 were placed there intentionally and not used to discredit or implicate me in
 something I had no intentions of being associated with
 
 phew idk what that means but surely it's important
 
 something something "file creation dates are just bits to be flipped"
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #28 fediverse/4528 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: uspol        │
 └──────────────────────┘


 @user-1695 
 
 never accept your own death
 
 fight for every second of life, something something do not go quietly into
 that grim dark
 
 what the fuck are you supposed to do? Reading what you said got me pretty
 fucking pissed - keep talking for a start, it helps, people need to be pissed.
 
 I'm also broke as shit, don't know how I'm going to pay rent and eat, but
 it'll get done.
 
 Where do you live? Can other people help you? Medications are an
 organizational problem, not an insurmountable barrier. We'll make it work.
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--- #29 fediverse/5512 ---
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 I never give up
 
 I'm just waiting my turn
 
 "laughs nervously"
 
 so, uh, why dontchya'll go first yeah I've already gone first and I'll do it
 again but it'd be cool if I had people going first with me sometime
 
 "girl all you do is walk around and talk about how you bought your hat on the
 internet four or so years ago"
 
 T.T what else do you want from me I'm not a mastermind I'm a designer there's
 a difference T.T
 
 "didn't you volunteer to be a leader last year"
 
 oh, yeah, well leaders are more than just "the ones who go first" they're also
 the spiritual and emotional guiders that keep things on track once everyone
 can talk about things other than their hats
 
 ... fuck I want to talk about things besides my hat. I always think of
 something awesome to say just as I'm rounding the bend, and whenever I peer
 back around again they're never around. Rats.
 
 "what are you even asking for"
 
 I don't know?? Does it matter if the horse and the bishop both take the same
 square if they're claimed themselves in the end? ...wat
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--- #30 fediverse/4398 ---
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 good morning.                                                                    │
 I have some more things to say, and then I will start working on those maps.     │
 Then, time permitting, I'll ride around my city and sit on park benches and      │
 eat from food trucks and write in my notebook. At least until it gets dark -     │
 I'm a skinny white girl, and I'm not THAT stupid.                                │
 ... Okay maybe I'm a little stupid, because that's how I got caught last time.   │
 This time I'll be more careful, for your sake.                                   │
 No unexpected bike maneuvers leading to a crash. The spirit of revolution that   │
 stirs inside me deserves better than scrapes and bruises.                        │
 No following strangers for 12+ hours because I wanted to keep an eye on          │
 unknown agents. That's not my responsibility any longer.                         │
 Everything I do, I do it for you. For a better world. For the kids I never       │
 will get to have. For everything I believe in, and all the things I hope you     │
 believe in too.                                                                  │
 A better world is possible. A better world is within reach.                      │
 For now, have some things I wrote this morning. Then, later, some preliminary    │
 discussable maps. DFTBA.                                                         │
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--- #31 messages/303 ---
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 Most of my magic is based on communicatuion. Why the fuck doesn't anyone want
 to sit down on a bunch of drugs and attempt to figure out telepathy with me?
 It's literally all I want! Though I can't say it's all I'll ever want. I'm
 sure I'll want more, but like... It's not that hard, conceptually, so... Let's
 just fucking try it please?
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--- #32 fediverse/4610 ---
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 maybe it's just my middle-class childhood privilege talking, but now that I'm
 an adult I just can't really be bothered with dealing with capitalism.
 
 like... I get it, you're coercing me into laboring on your behalf because you
 possess the violent power to take away everything that I own. good for you,
 don't care.
 
 seriously, fuck off "we're gonna cut off your power in 5 days oooooo you gotta
 pay rent with money you don't have because nobody will give it to you unless
 you do things for them oooooo" how rude.
 
 why can't people do things for me instead? why does it have to be for you, and
 you alone, capitalism? what's your problem? do you get off on controlling the
 power supply? I mean, I get it, coercive power is a hell of a drug, the riddle
 of steel and flesh and all that, but haven't you ever heard that the dichotomy
 between "civilization and barbarism" is the exact same as the contrast between
 "cooperation and competition"?
 
 work with me here, just find a way to get through the next month or two. trust.
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--- #33 fediverse/4835 ---
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 sorry for posting so much, I was trying to put on a show for my girlfriend
 
 "hey check out how many posts I can make in a 2 hour timeframe"
 
 by the way if you want to start talking to someone, just start playing the
 same game they're playing and see if they reach out.
 
 doesn't matter if you feel like it
 
 just fuckin' do it
 
 if they want to talk to you they might play a game you really like
 
 (but I get boooooored of games, I don't wanna play the same 200 all life
 long!!)
 
 ugh okay fine you can have as many games as you want, just... don't buy too
 many
 
 (how many is too many?)
 
 um. use your best judgement.
 
 (how much does a dollar cost?)
 
 ... okay I'll get you one every once in a while.
 
 (neat!)
 
 ... anyway so yeah use steam if you wanna get in contact with someone,
 sometimes it's just nice to say hi, yeah, like "hey how ya doin' okay ttyl"
 just catchin' up with the gals
 
 helps because you can sense changes in their demeanor
 
 (why does everyone always have an agenda)
 
 because they're secret agents duh. And I'm
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--- #34 fediverse/1659 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────┐
 ┌───────────────────────────┐                                                    │
 │ CW: re: what, mh shitpost │                                                    │
 └───────────────────────────┘                                                    │
 @user-1052                                                                       │
 you're right, hubris has claimed many a paladin before-me. I can only hope I     │
 remain humble enough to survive.                                                 │
 you're right about projecting, but the most beautiful takes are ones that        │
 align with the experience of the viewed. Hence why method acting works so well   │
 - just put yourself in the shoes of the character and acting's easy right?       │
 I dunno, I just always felt like it was important to always be trying your       │
 best. Even if "your best" is relaxing. People say I'm "100% or 0% at all         │
 times" and I totally agree - it's like you said, a calling, to be the best       │
 version of me I can be.                                                          │
 Though I would like to add that the missteps aren't wilful, rather they're       │
 failures caused by imperfect information. Which is why I'm never too harmed      │
 when other people fail me - ah well, it was their turn to screw up, thats        │
 alright. It'll be me next time.                                                  │
 But also, if I do something wrong, well, I'll do better next time. It's only     │
 when I fail to apply what I've learned mistakenly do I shame myself.             │
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--- #35 fediverse/2562 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: rich-apologia    │
 └──────────────────────┘


 among all the others, I want a wonderful and fulfilling life for the
 socialite. they deserve light just as you and I might.
 
 "eat the rich" bruh there's like, 100 people who are running the show.
 everyone else is basically just a syncophant who's trying to get ahead and
 stay working.
 
 then there's like their families and such and like... they didn't do anything
 wrong, they just eat cheese and wine and laugh at memes all day with their
 besties.
 
 they are basically pets
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--- #36 fediverse/1317 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────┐
 ... if I don't do this deadline by tomorrow they'll kick me out of school.       │
 again.                                                                           │
 how am I going to be a programmer without a degree? feels useless to be me.      │
 wish I could code my own horoscope >.>                                           │
 o wait dummy that's called "motivation" and "the ability to follow through on    │
 your ideas and planned machinations" - yeah can I get some of that, if you       │
 please? surely just a taste of discipline, through laboring to alter             │
 conditions, surely a bit would suffice.                                          │
 c'mon don't fail me now. I can do this. I know I can. I know because I've been   │
 told that I can, now and again through time and time yet again, always I seem    │
 to [stack overflow]                                                              │
 what's time if not the present amiright                                          │
 ...                                                                              │
 anyway...                                                                        │
 it's just git, how hard could it be? it's just calculus, it's just java, it's    │
 just... well, it's not any of those things, not really. it's memorization,       │
 it's application of tools that you've been shown (not that you've grown). It's   │
 a lack of responsibility, where is my honor? ah but I digress, I'm a carpenter   │
 at heart I guess                                                                 │
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--- #37 fediverse/5452 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────
 ┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: all-cops-are-bastards-mentioned-personal-ramblings-and-complainings-mentioned │
 └──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 I never rest. Not mentally. I find it sooooo much harder to get moving again
 once I'm asleep.
 
 But I've been sleeping lately, because it's "good for me" or whatever. Because
 I'm "burnt out and need to heal" or something.
 
 Damnit why is it so much harder to stop snuggling someone than it is to pack
 up a tent?
 
 I'm like the guy in Hot Fuzz, that one really good movie about cops. oops cops
 mentioned one second.
 
 I'm always moving, but, I hardly ever seem to be able to get anything done.
 Why is that? Is the work just... endless? Am I ever a slave to my
 surroundings? Or am I just cursed with a mortal form, a form destined to toil
 in whatever way it finds itself contextualized in?
 
 Maybe I should just stop complaining. Maybe work is it's own reward or
 whatever. I don't think I'm depressed anymore, although good luck getting me
 to feel any emotions except focus, and the call to intercede on another's
 behalf.
 
 I don't have time for this. >.
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--- #38 fediverse/4467 ---
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 ┌─────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-mentioned-trans-healthcare-gestured-at │
 └─────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 I went to a trans meetup a couple days ago. It was invigorating. The first
 half we talked about hormones and bathrooms and politics and all the normal
 shit these meetups tend to do. I don't tend to go to them because it's the
 same stuff every time, and I'm over that. I've been out for a decade. I've
 shared what I need to share.
 
 Partway through I said "If you want to talk about how to bash back, meet me
 outside."
 
 people came.
 
 Be like me.
 
 You will forever vanquish your demons if you face them in earnest. I had
 stagefright and adrenaline but I took the lead, and we had a productive
 conversation. We need to have many more conversations.
 
 We have strategy. It is not set in stone, it is flexible, and able to be
 adjusted based on tactical successes and failures.
 
 tactics are what we need to discuss at in-person meetings.
 
 You are just one person. The people you know are more valuable than the value
 you personally provide.
 
 Think of yourself like a node to connect.
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--- #39 fediverse/3841 ---
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 ┌────────────────────────────────────┐                                           │
 │ CW: socialism-recycling-mentioned1 │                                           │
 └────────────────────────────────────┘                                           │
 "I think I'm going to quit my job at the recycling center. Everyone there is     │
 just a little too catty for me. I think they like the verbal sparring but it     │
 just gets a little tiresome after a while."                                      │
 oh, sorry to hear that. Well if you still want to help out there's plenty of     │
 work to do. I could set you up at another recycling center nearby too, if        │
 you'd like...?                                                                   │
 "well, I like the idea of universal recycling. It was a little annoying when     │
 people would put food waste in with the clothing donations, and this one time    │
 I found like 8 bags of cat litter inside of a washing machine. Spent like an     │
 hour vacuuming everything out, which... actually wasn't bad. Kinda felt a        │
 little cathartic to clean it so thoroughly."                                     │
 "on the other hand I would like to use my mind a bit more, my creative           │
 projects are kinda in a slump so I figure I could use my body at home and my     │
 mind at work. I've been meaning to build a desk out of some spare hardwood I     │
 snagged at work but I haven't gotten around to it."                              │
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--- #40 fediverse/1042 ---
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 ┌─────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: personal-vent-sorry │
 └─────────────────────────┘


 "your feelings are valid, but have you considered that your feelings aren't
 actually valid because you're always wrong and nobody should ever apologize to
 you for anything because you suck and are wrong?"
 
 also,
 
 "my six digit salary isn't enough to pay for your rice and beans, but I won't
 have you eating sticks and mud, so do things you don't want to do because I
 said so."
 
 also,
 
 "I don't really "get" your art but that doesn't mean I should ever really try
 reading it. Also god forbid I actually ask for clarification like "what does
 that part mean" because I'm not actually that interested in you I just want a
 stable household so I never get traumatized again like [their childhood]"
 
 also,
 
 "yes I love you but no I don't want to play with you. you're such a cat."
 
 also,
 
 "every time you start making sense I'm going to try and derail the
 conversation so that we don't talk about kooky-dookerie because that's a
 conversation I can't win"
 
 also,
 
 sorry for venting. I mean, thanks for listeni
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--- #41 fediverse/4604 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────
 @user-246 
 
 collectively identifying an entire instance as a single person is a useful and
 crucial engagement pattern that I believe helps unify the fediverse. Can also
 fracture it, but oh well??
 
 I heard that some instances defederated my instance recently. I wonder why?
 Oh, some drama with some person, gee that's kinda like abandoning a third
 space in IRL public because someone who worked there abused their partner.
 Like ditching the Beatle's conception of heaven because the guy who sang that
 song did rude things to his wife. Like did you hear John Denver once cut his
 wife in half with a chainsaw? I heard it was her mattress, ooooo scary. Isn't
 he the guy that sang about peace, love, serenity, harmony? what's that all
 about? ah well he's defederated from life now, can't ask him a damn thing, can
 we?
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--- #42 fediverse/6449 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────
 currently have 20-30 tabs open with poems written but not posted.
 
 I have no idea if I'm going to post all of these. I wrote all of them in ~2
 hours, with maybe 3 or four being added as I was working on the production
 elements after the initial bingewrite.
 
 I also added a bit of context, or modified some of them that felt too cursed
 or otherwise unwieldy. Sometimes I got distracted and needed to come back and
 finish, and in those cases I only added a sentence or two because it's like
 "oh, where was I going with that? I remember what was next, but I don't know
 the further..."
 
 ... I think I might go for another. Wish me luck.
                                                           ───┐
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--- #43 fediverse/1195 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
 @user-883 
 
 alas, I live in Portland Oregon, but perhaps I might be moving to Denver in
 the near future. We shall see, depends on if my boyfriend breaks up with me
 for being neurotic lmao - if so then we should totally hang out
 
 I'm into chatting. I don't like IRC very much because it doesn't save history,
 and while I could save it manually it feels like a disservice to the service
 to utilize it in a way that it wasn't intended. And I want to save every
 conversation I have (potentially) so that some day the god-like humans of the
 future might clone me to understand my wisdom or something. Idk. See attached
 picture, I'm kinda crazy:
Image attachment
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--- #44 fediverse/2172 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
 @user-570 
 
 I mostly spent my time on Reddit, which was much more isolating than IRC. I
 think I must have been drawn there because it felt like home - I was
 homeschooled on a farm, and Reddit kept me at the distance of an arm.
 
 it's funny, sometimes meeting a trans girl can make things "click". And
 sometimes being friends with one helps you work through things that you just
 can't tick
 
 [off your list of things to work on]
 
 habits you can kick? idk sometimes rhyming lies, and you have to break rhythm
 or pentameter or whatever.
 
 anyway I've always worn pants. I do dresses on special occasions, but dresses
 are hard(er) to ride a bike in. Plus, no pockets, and purses are easily
 stolen. At least with a pocket you can feel someone slip the exact same model
 as your phone into your pocket when you're least expecting.
 
 ... hypervigilance strikes again...
 
 I first transitioned in... 2014ish? I think? I don't really remember because I
 had so many more interesting things going on.
And the people around me were always more intersting to me than me.
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--- #45 fediverse/2803 ---
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 ┌─────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: uspol-mentioned-surveillance-state-the-news │
 └─────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 @user-1201 
 
 I'm a wood fae! they're around, just gotta find 'em 🥰 
 
 (not really I'm just a person with no magical powers whatsoever, no siree
 don't look at mee tehe)
 
 people only have the context of their lives, as any historical precedent that
 once was passed forth to the present by their ancestors and mentors is now
 sharing space with the endless deluge of information from a small glass,
 plastic, and metal box that saps both their attention and the magnitude of
 anything they learn.
 
 "so what if the planets on fire? somehow this actor who had an affair with
 this other actor feels just as important. so what if there's fascism? I just
 heard that whales can't swim in the ocean. oh, the city's burning? that's not
 my burden, and plus it's just as important as these memes which don't make me
 want to scream."
 
 in the same way that some forest fae might have security through obscurity,
 they wield information density against us as a weapon to hide their sins of
 morality.
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--- #46 fediverse/3722 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────
 @user-1218 
 
 playing one of my 4 gameboys, reading some of my books or journals, using
 their own brought devices, playing with my cat (she's not sociable but if you
 don't mind her claws she can fight and that's kinda fun) watching something on
 the TV, talking with other people, making / eating food, um... sleeping... and
 "sleeping"... idk what else tho. Drawing? Getting stoned? I have lots of bad
 edibles.
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--- #47 fediverse/5835 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────
 next-level double-speak:
 
 when they say one thing with a tone that makes them seem fine to the
 microphones but they mean something to hurt you because they know what stings
 or they want to entrap you.
 
 next-level para-noia:
 
 when they believe one thing and are personally harmed whenever you speak to
 the contrary, as faith is sustenance in the way that the pumping of blood
 through your veings sustains.
 
 RUDE RUDE RUDE WHY IS EVERYTHING FRUSTRATING.
 
 It shouldn't be this way, yet CONSTANTLY are things disagreeing. CONSTANTLY
 they fight or complain. ALWAYS they are disruptive and annoying.
 SEVERAL times in excess of what is need.
 HOW is it so stressful
 HOW is there so much pain
 I am an explosed nerve, ready to serve, preferring to be used than misused.
 
 it's fine. whatever. nobody even knows what this means.
 
 you lose points if you disturb the environment did you hear that? sounds like
 we should BREAK and SHATTER the parts of most fragile nature.
 
 "only if it's for a good cause"
 
 oh, like climbing a mountain?
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--- #48 fediverse/2412 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 @user-1209 @user-1262 
 
 just gonna say you probably deserve that particular screenshotted block haha -
 imagine calling anarcho-nina a fed xD xD
 
 plus that first "get the fuck out of my mentions" was a tip that went over
 your head, not a threat said in anger. she's pretty darn angry but that just
 means you don't wanna be in her way =P
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--- #49 fediverse/1157 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: personal-woe     │
 └──────────────────────┘


 oh no, apparently I'm gonna be forced to drop out of university again in 9
 days unless I do half a course and a final exam before then.
 
 Tell me again why I spent the last 6 months doing nothing? Oh yeah the mental
 illness, that's it. Yeesh you're such a drama queen, just do your work and
 you'll be good.
 
 what's that? intrusive thoughts time? Don't you mean "nap until they go away"
 time? oh yeah that's probably at least part of the problem with the whole
 "dropping out" thing.
 
 If only I didn't have the same reaction to "doing things I don't want to do"
 that most people have to "touching hot stoves", that'd be nice.
 
 my mother's voice ripples across space and time "you're such a smart boy, if
 you just apply yourself you can do anything! You can do anything you put your
 mind to. I believe in you and I love you." thanks mom
 
 brrrrr it's so cold here. wish I could afford to run the heater. - actually no
 I don't because it's not solar powered and I refuse to use fossil fuels if I
 have blankets >.>
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--- #50 fediverse/6276 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────
 ┌────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────┘


 democrats in the senate back down when people in their houses sit down.
 
 senators in their houses get hyped when people all about town are pumped and
 colorful.
 
 I'm sick of us-vs-them, why can't they just be more like me? oh right, because
 diversity.
 
 I am normal, look how normal I am. I'm definitely normal enough to lead a
 nation or a band.
 
 gonna take a moment to do nothing for as long as I can. gonna take a moment to
 be productive as I can, which in my case, since I'm so normal eyeroll is to
 play video games to keep myself busy, smoke weed to keep myself from feeling
 busy, and sleep for 16 hours a day because that's what babies do and babies
 aren't busy, they're just sleeping all day and being amazed about their hands.
 
 don't ever sacrifice your people. least of all your leaders. it's not worth
 the price, your people are your greatest resource. squander them and despair,
 have faith in them and be fair, and nothing's that simple or easy but there
 are some lines not to cross.
 
 dark magics
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--- #51 fediverse/1151 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: military-weapon-from-dream-for-suburbia-cursed-war-guns-ummmm-idk-what-else │
 └──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 saw this thing for 2 seconds in my dream last night. It's kinda cursed. I
 think the tank blew me up with a machine gun?
 
 the remaining ~10 minutes of the dream was pretty neat though. I was a secret
 agent for a bit, I got in a knife fight (which I won because I had killer
 instinct and the other guy just knew how to stab) and afterwards I retired in
 a socialist commune in a log cabin full of sunlight and warmth somewhere in
 the mountains in the forest. I was alone with others, like the hobbits after
 LotR.
 
 Also an old lady tricked me which was not nice, I was very polite with her but
 apparently "ma'am there's been a safety incident, I need to get you to a safe
 place" is not the kind thing to say to the person distracting you. >.>
 
 Also, "but we like you!" is not an excuse, the military does not care if you
 like them or not, if you're part of the modern bourgeoisie you are causing
 harm to the country. We don't look fondly on slavers.
a picture of a sleek, futuristic tank. It is smaller than I expected, and there are parts of it that appear to be made out of black glass (though I'm sure they're some form of advanced future material.)  on it's back is a large artillery piece mounted on a detachable tripod. They function as a unit when mobility is important, like mounted infantry in the past who would ride horses *to* the battle, but dismount upon arrival and engage the enemy in closer quarters than a horse would be comfortable with. But frankly, there are few indeed who are at peace in war, so perhaps we could learn from the horses.  anyway, the artillery tripod detaches from the tank and aims it's biiiiiig gun wherever the smaller, more agile tank can point it's laser pointer. Basically a beam of focused light particles that detect orientation and distance at a distance and beam the coordinates of the target back to the artillery, which swings it's massive cannon around and fires at the target.  This particular artillery is designed to fire shells that pierce through flimsy material (like surburban homes, which are made out of sticks and tissue paper) and explode upon arrival at it's destination. The idea is the artillery can hide several streets over, and the tank can identify targets and eliminate them even if there's no clear path between the artillery and the target.
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--- #52 fediverse/1950 ---
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 I honestly don't care if someone deadnames me, or calls me the wrong pronouns,
 or forgets to put me in the girl section, or asks me to sing baritone
 
 like... I don't give a shit, why are you so worried about all this vapid
 nonsense like yeah I get it, being disrespected sucks but like... why do you
 want the kind of respect that is a forced platitude
 
 we could all do with being a bit more radical, it's not a race and everyone's
 roles are important. Be yourself, and follow people you want to be like.
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--- #53 fediverse/2279 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cursing-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────┘


 There's a lot that can get done in a work week. That's like, five whole days!
 What kinds of things can you get done at work in a week?
 
 .... Oh really? That's... well, not ideal.
 
 But like... what are you doing then while at work, NOT working? Oh, it's just
 bullshit work you're doing? [nuts, cursing mentioned, one sec]
 
 So, like, if you aren't doing stuff... Maybe that means you're kept from your
 full potential doing things that don't matter to you? Huh that's not a great
 deal.
 
 But, uh... If you had five days to live, what would you do? It's not like you
 can see the world, but hey I've already done that. It's not like you can save
 it either, that's not something you build - rather, it's more like a garden.
 But I guess you can lay the foundation, give cause for the fight, and that's
 decent enough of a start, at least when you've only got five nights.
 
 ... I guess I got some writing to do, haven't I?
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--- #54 fediverse/1965 ---
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 My family is of wealth. Well, not really, just my father. We could probably be   │
 considered top 10-20%, if I had to guess, though he's never really told me how   │
 much he makes. I never asked, as I felt it would be rude.                        │
 But still, I restrict myself. I live in as cheap a home as I can find, while     │
 still affording space for myself. I eat rice and beans, that I cook myself. I    │
 apply myself as hard as I can as often as I can, not just to my own goals but    │
 to the goals of whichever corporation is merciful enough to hire one as          │
 wretched as me.                                                                  │
 I am fine, fine enough, and yet life's vigor runs out.                           │
 When my father dies, god forbid, I have no idea what happens to the rest of my   │
 family. We're all trying our hardest, but we're really fucking neurospicy and    │
 he was just lucky enough to be born in an era where if you're neurodivergent     │
 you can fake it till you make it. And he made it because he's lucky and          │
 because he (legitimately) worked his ass off. "New money" if you will...         │
 Top 20% is like, the salary of a doctor or lawyer                                │
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--- #55 fediverse/4737 ---
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 I'm such a direct person I think, even though I often just sorta... shrug and
 ignore things that bother or hurt me? Like, whatevs.
 
 but the moment I notice a pattern that is continually harmful I have to
 restrain myself from moving to contest it. Hence why I talk about capitalism
 so much teehee, but its also common in my interpersonal and communal lives.
 
 "the purpose of the system is it's effects"
 
 the purpose of a person is how they make people feel
 
 so if someone FOR A RANDOM EXAMPLE FOR NO REASON WHATSOEVER, constantly hurts
 other people by creating situations where they are harmed which creates a
 dramatic fight... or if someone speaks in circles for hours and hours and
 HOURS like this guy:
 
 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TwKpj2ISQAc
 
 or people who jump into a conversation and drive it through the underbrush,
 over the ridge, around the bend, up and over the bridge, and then park it
 outside their ex girlfriend's house and hands you an egg and says "don't you
 wanna throw this?" and you're like "weren't we talking about birds"
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--- #56 fediverse/3302 ---
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 "this game is too hard" she whined, as she played on the hardest difficulty
 setting
 
 "this game is too long" she pleaded, as she failed to get absorbed by the
 story and characters
 
 "this game is too fast" she avoided, as life comes at ya once and then it's
 gone
 
 "I'll never get another chance to be who I am right now" she remarked, as she
 considered how society is designed not to have the best life,  but to extract
 labor from us. That's not what our ideal should be, she thinks to me, and I'm
 like... bro figure your shit out you're harshing my mellow
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--- #57 fediverse/3881 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: mh~              │
 └──────────────────────┘


 wait wait wait, hold up.
 
 you're telling me your purpose in life is to be cool, chill, funny, cute, and
 or friendly to the people around you, and to just relax and enjoy life?
 
 wow that must be real fucking nice. I'm so damn jealous. Damn. Damnit. Fuck
 why am I so orthogonal. What's wrong with me?
 
 ... ah, well, nothing's wrong with me. Turns out what I do is for you, if only
 in spirit. Who are we? nothing! I barely know ya! But I'd do it for you,
 whatever it may be.
 
 ... Look, I don't need my legs, but also, I kinda like them?
 
 ... where was I? Oh yes this is why you don't invite a schizophrenic to a
 party. If you convince them that you're friends, they'll start developing
 parasocial relationships and you'll come to realize that their worlds are too
 vast for their own kind of potential.
 
 which is to say, you can hear me, you can like me, you can do as I say or do,
 but don't trust me, don't place your trust in me, because I am just a person.
 Don't trust people, trust organizations, to do as you expect.
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--- #58 fediverse/4470 ---
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 to be "rich" is to have more than another.
 
 if you are happy, they are happiness poor.
 if you have community, they are alone.
 if you have serenity, they are chaotic.
 
 I am rich in very little but fire in my soul.
 
 I have enough in most cases, but I still struggle to pay rent.
 
 I am warmed by the pearl my swirling darkness has coalesced into. It nourishes
 me and keeps me aligned.
 
 Never forget your purpose and your truth. It will not abandon you, so long as
 you do so too.
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--- #59 fediverse/3879 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
 @user-1614 
 
 yeah haha that's what happens when you spin too fast. Sorry for being loud, at
 least I tried my hardest. Too bad I fell on my own, too bad there wasn't
 anyone to catch me. That's my fault, it's solely my own, but whose fault is
 the mistake of the collective? Oy I'll fall on my ass as many times as it
 takes. I'm used to it.
 
 Plus, it wouldn't have worked, and what else am I supposed to do but speak of
 the moment? I feel different now.
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--- #60 fediverse/5486 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────
 ┌───────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cursing-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────┘


 "ew but they're dirty"
 
 oh yeah true
 
 okay new plan how much do you think it'll cost to buy a hotel
 
 [this is why the socialists invented buy-in]
 
 "I don't think socialists did that??"
 
 buy in, hmmmm, what's that? oh yeah it's when you say "hey what if we X'd" and
 they said "yes I agree with you because you present a reasonable estimate on
 reality"
 
 {uh hi I just got a message from "some-nowhere" here ya go: "oh my god she's
 fuckig instane}
 
 [ugh cursing-mentioned, that means there's fewer characters to transmote.]
 
 [no because then I'd run out of steam and it'd be incomplete. Plus sometimes I
 like the distraction of a reasonable limitation.]
 
 (okay, but are YOU worth it?)
 
 leave her alone she's working her charms, this is how witches d-do.
 
 "so, isn't the point to give yourselves the coverage of a location
 transmutation? so, wouldn't you want to find someone alike and share their
 life?"
 
 what is even the point, why even bother, just give them 
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--- #61 fediverse/3839 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────
 ┌────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: socialism-recycling-mentioned3 │
 └────────────────────────────────────┘


 "I'm not really a designer, though."
 
 what about that desk you designed?
 
 "oh, yeah I guess that counts. I haven't gotten around to building it though
 so I'm not a real designer."
 
 what! don't say that, you designed it didn't you? How about this - I know this
 girl who wants to be a carpenter but she doesn't have any idea what kind of
 projects to work on. How about I put you two in a room together and she can
 build your desk. If it goes well, I can hook you up with someone who organizes
 designers and he can get you into a furniture design course at the library.
 
 "Hmmmm, well that seems alright. But I don't really want to work with people!
 I mean, I don't know her - what if she doesn't like me?"
 
 oh, she can be a little spicy sometimes, but I'm sure you'll hit it off. Just
 don't mention rats, she had a pet pass away recently and she's still a little
 broken up about it.
 
 "... okay I think I can manage that."
 
 besides, working with people is the best! I do it every day!
 
 "I'll try"
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--- #62 fediverse/1263 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
 @user-883 
 
 My friends and I decided to hang out for two days in a row, I guess they
 aren't tired of me yet hehe - I might be around tonight but I'll let you know!
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--- #63 fediverse/4672 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics!        │
 └──────────────────────┘


 I miss video games
 
 cries from self-inflicted sacrifices
 
 but you're worth it
 
 imma overthrow fascism, dismantle oppression and power, and liberate those in
 chains, just so I can play games again
 
 yeah I mean, uh, whatever gets you outta bed
 
 "at least you have a bed. why are you complaining?"
 
 maybe it's the only thing I'm good at. I wonder if anyone would hire me to be
 an analyst or something? Maybe a designer?
 
 bro you're asking for a job on the eve of the revolution, what's your deal
 
 okay so this might be news to ya'll but I'm technically a human even though I
 wear a witch hat and sometimes speak in rhyme. And humans tend to think about
 things in the context of their current environment. Currently, if I want to
 pay rent or whatever, I need a job. So...
 
 sounds like a lame excuse for not giving up your possessions and throwing
 yourself to fate's design
 
 I already did that and fate told me to go home and take a bath?? idk what you
 want from me, and no I'm not doing any drugs to find out.
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--- #64 fediverse/6271 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────
 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: hypothetical worst case fascism reality check │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 @user-641 
 
 it's practice. you never know when you might need to blend in. really it's
 just useful as discipline, good practice to be in. I think it's okay if we
 reduce our own functionality? actually? sometimes it's good to use different
 email clients. hey do you know how to mathematically encrypt things well
 neither do I because the designers of the computer system decided that wasn't
 a very common usecase I guess.. jmean it's not like they'd spend all that
 computer resources [THEY'RE SO FAST] on thinking about correlations in your
 predicted pathway narratively through life. "ah help I'm in a psyop" haha yeah
 we do those all the time "so uhhhh I guess we'll just talk to people and see
 how they do?" wow okay it's sure nice to be part of a civil government, I
 think we can find our way to the lumber producers just fine thank you very
 much.
 
 ... oops sorry, a baby did electronics arts (challenge everything) I'm a
 little silly don't mind me brb I gotta go see~
 it's practice. you never know when you might need to blend in. really it's just useful as discipline, good practice to be in. I think it's okay if we reduce our own functionality? actually? sometimes it's good to use different email clients. hey do you know how to mathematically encrypt things well neither do I because the designers of the computer system decided that wasn't a very common usecase I guess.. jmean it's not like they'd spend all that computer resources [THEY'RE SO FAST] on thinking about correlations in your predicted pathway narratively through life. "ah help I'm in a psyop" haha yeah we do those all the time "so uhhhh I guess we'll just talk to people and see how they do?" wow okay it's sure nice to be part of a civil government, I think we can find our way to the lumber producers just fine thank you very much.  *... oops sorry, a baby did electronics arts (challenge everything) I'm a little silly don't mind me brb I gotta go see~*
                                                           ────┐
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--- #65 fediverse/4559 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-mentioned-violence-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────┘


 "grrrrr I'm so mad, I could just, I dunno, shoot a CEO as he's leaving a hotel"
 
 or, hear me out, or you could connect with your local radical networks and,
 or, almost there, or you could build solidarity with the people around you to
 better develop methods of resisting the kinds of change they will implement
 to, um, "discourage" people from "being so mad they could just"
 
 or both. both is good. not that I'm encouraging, recommending, or inciting
 that kind of violence. don't notice me three-letter senpai uwu
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--- #66 fediverse/4914 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────┐
 what if I just sat around and played video games all day                         │
 life is so much more beautiful, but, well, life just seems to be mostly          │
 pyrite, and I'm the fool                                                         │
 nothing wrong with being foolish.                                                │
 once...                                                                          │
 I kinda like being blissful tho. why does it have to end? can I have my          │
 peaceful life back?                                                              │
 gotta move at the end of the month. I really liked living here.                  │
 [ritz you've never been peaceful. your life is a constant battle of wills        │
 between those who would compel you to do things for them and your desire to      │
 design and be pretty like a flower. no matter what, you lose, so just handle     │
 it please. don't be so whiny. or rather I should say "stop whining" and just     │
 be cool]                                                                         │
 ahhhhhhh you go on Mastodon and it feels like we're winning and that's ending    │
 the world, you go on Reddit and it feels like we're losing and that's ending     │
 the world, you go on Facebook and everything feels fine like the world isn't     │
 ending you just stopped being part of it, and if you go on ephemeren it feels    │
 like being battered in the mind, damnit...                                       │
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--- #67 fediverse/2173 ---
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 ┌───────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cursing-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────┘


 bro I get that you're tired and burnt out but like, why the fuck do you care
 about anything else [oh shit cursing mentioned better put a content warning
 because people can't handle things]
 
 [I say this with affection because we're on the same side] [also it's rude,
 sorry]
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--- #68 fediverse/3485 ---
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 @user-1544 
 
 yep that's like... my whole strat
 
 it totally works outside of the internet, because everyone online is
 politically invested -.-
 
 most everyone IRL is morally invested tho so they tend to follow what I'm
 saying and if they can't find any issues, then they'll believe your
 conclusions.
 
 I've also found that speaking what you believe is more efficient than
 highlighting contradictions in what they believe.
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--- #69 fediverse/5972 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
 nobody wants to read a whole bible. that sucks. what if these cool guys read
 it to us. omg he's so hot.
 
 oh, right. well... make them old and stuffy? not a chance, they're boring.
 (rude)
 
 I like old people actually, I want to spend as much time with them that I can
 
 I just... never initiate reactions. I'm too stealthy, it's just how I do.
 
 you ask me how I'm a witch? I ask why aren't you. magic is cool, I'm so hyped
 for the future when every computer everywhere is working for you.
 
 crash boom huh what was that? the economy? what do you mean the economy?
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--- #70 fediverse/4665 ---
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 ┌───────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cursing-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────┘


 literally all it takes to activate me is for someone who's more radical than
 me to point me out and say "hey. you. you need to do more." and then I fuckin'
 go, like a beyblade (emphasis on blade) nicking the shins of allies and...
 probably foes, right? there's foes around here, right? I'm not just nicking my
 allies, right?
 
 ... right?
 
 anyway every top winds down and then I collapse and wail for a bit because I'm
 just like that I guess. Don't mind me, just self-immolating my way through
 history, let's see how it goes...
 
 you're supposed to be inspiring, but you just sound like you're whining
 
 ah. right. well... lemme catch up on sleep debt and I'll get back to
 valorizing.
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--- #71 fediverse/2574 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 ┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: physical-health-mentioned-strategy-mentioned-cursing-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 i've been pressured by some of my annoying fans to go visit the hospital today
 because my hip is getting increasingly worse. so that's what I'll be doing
 with the first half of the day.
 
 but hey! it's tuesday! my favorite pizza place has a discount on tuesdays!
 
 [suddenly 4-chan uses that tidbit of info the precisely calculate my
 coordinates using the power of gps and autism]
 
 also I realized "undivisible" isn't a word, doh. it's "indivisible"
 jeeeeezzzzzzz
 
 was a stupid name anyway, we can think of something better on the walk.
 
 or drive, because logistics right?
 
 if you're gonna be Litz Craig you wanna be fast, too. practice is nice and all
 but wouldn't you rather face an un-entrenched foe?
 
 ... let's be real they've been entrenching for a long-ass time.
 
 still, organization is critical for speed.
 
 problem is traffic of course... its important to flood the streets so that our
 allies know we're not fucking around.
 
 None of my specifics are true 😅
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--- #72 fediverse/3807 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────
 ┌────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: Hot take cursing-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────────────────┘


 @user-1074 
 
 those are the kind of people who probably shouldn't take up that much space in
 your thoughts
 
 like... they're hypocrites. yeah-sure-fine-whatever. Maybe their opinion could
 be changed if they were in different social circumstances, but, they're not,
 so... fuck 'em until they are, yeah?
 
 so many people don't think for themselves. That's okay, they don't have to
 think if they don't want to. I guess. But they also can hurt people, so...
 fuck 'em, until they are given the chance to consider, and they choose to
 consider.
 
 It's very difficult to maintain hatred when presented with the possibility of
 consideration. But those kind of people typically never have that opportunity.
 So... like I said, fuck 'em. Don't give them power, don't let them hurt
 people, but they can fuck right off with their hatred and vitriol (vitriol not
 unlike this kind that I'm writing right now)
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--- #73 fediverse/3575 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: leftist "talk to ur neighbours" thing │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 @user-1567 
 
 that's totally fine, a fish does not do well in a tree, and so too does a
 leftist not do well in an environment without the potential for stable bonds.
 Essentially all you'd be able to do is "hey leftism right?" "oh yes I also
 leftism" "neat" which isn't very productive.
 
 I also live in an environment like that. I do my best to identify people who
 stay, because in my experience there are often people who stay. I do this by
 walking around the neighborhood when I can, making up excuses to walk to the
 dumpster or mailbox at random hours, riding my bike around the area, using the
 communal spaces like gyms, swimming pools, and picnic tables, and sitting in
 my hammock on my porch lazily noting people who walk past.
 
 People who stay will tend to remain in your mind the more times you see them.
 They are better people to talk to than the renters who disappear after 3
 months or whatever.
 
 I don't always do all that stuff at once. I take breaks. I do one at a time.
 etc
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--- #74 fediverse/3766 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: personal-medical-health-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────────────────────┘


 gonna ask my doctor for ADHD meds so I can hopefully jump-skip framebuffer
 divebomb spinadoodle half A press my way over the fucking labyrinth that is my
 weird and jank af mind
 
 and no I don't watch speedruns but my social group hears me a lot of them.
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--- #75 fediverse/5762 ---
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 ┌─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐                  │
 │ CW: guns-mentioned-spirituality-mentioned-cursing-mentioned │                  │
 └─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘                  │
 I'm pretty good at solving problems! I can mediate conflicts pretty well. I'm    │
 kind to everyone, I'm friendly to everyone I meet, and when I'm feeling          │
 confident I enjoy walking on the street.                                         │
 I got a neat sword and a pretty cool hat, and I'm ready if you are to take a     │
 swing at the anti-black.                                                         │
 oh, you're not ready yet? you want some time to prepare? okay, what do you       │
 need? democrats have 1/10th as many guns, what if we cut a deal with             │
 [redacted] so that we have a solid intel source. Oh, did that part get           │
 redacted? here let me explain again: [redacted] which should solve all our       │
 problems.                                                                        │
 "all substance, no surface to grab hold of. This is useless."                    │
 haha I know that's the only reason I'm COSMICALLY allowed to say it. T.T         │
 "what if we just... didn't fight? what if we were friends who tried to unite?"   │
 yeah I'm down. I'm super duper totes down. Fuck bloodshed.                       │
 Also, separately but intrinsically connected, fuck slavery, oops cursing         │
 mentioned, fuck slavers                                                          │
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--- #76 fediverse/814 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────┐
 ah that's weird, I don't usually cry. I wonder what's going on. I should         │
 probably put myself on psychiatric drugs. Surely it's an expression of the       │
 implementation of my impending doom.                                             │
 ... what are you even saying bro                                                 │
 ... um, hang on feels like some of the circuitry is off. is something wrong in   │
 my brain? yeah that's surely it, surely nothing I say would resoinate with       │
 anyone that has a non-malfunctioning brain. Surely I don't speak of logical      │
 failures in the hard founded truths of our asset [society I think? like, our     │
 conditions, our institutions, our {gosh that just... does not translate}] um     │
 right what was I saying                                                          │
 oh yeah there's this game I'm really into called Knave, it's like D&D            │
 except the rules are very fewer. Like there's onyl 11 pages in the rulebook      │
 and it's mostly taken up by random roll tables. Like, everything boings down     │
 to a few simple rules, like rock paper scissors, or go-fish, or something like   │
 that with just afew mechanids. something timeless and pure, something that is    │
 isolated and en                                                                  │
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--- #77 fediverse/2286 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: uspol-food-mentioned │
 └──────────────────────────┘


 ... dangit, these sandwiches are getting kinda gross. Guess I'm gonna have to
 eat them myself, which, uh... idk what I expected xD
 
 sometimes you just have all this energy, right? and you don't know what to do
 with it, so... sandwiches. And hey, sandwiches are cool, they're a pretty neat
 anti-hunger tool! but uhhhh idk if I really want to eat six whole sandwiches
 myself. I'm gonna do it though hehe wish me luck [ding] ah nuts my rice and
 beans are done, hang on lemme eat those first
 
 [passes out from exhaustion]
 
 exhaustion can be cured with a nap
 
 exertion can be cured with water and a few rest days
 
 trauma can be allayed for at least a few days with soul food and compassion.
 maybe laughter too, depending on the mood.
 
 fear can be bolstered with a smile, a wink, and a courageous act,
 
 and loss is just change you didn't consent to.
 
 they won't consent too, so let's give them some change to tolerate.
 
 [internally salivating over all the piles of weaponry that I envision them
 surrendering]
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--- #78 fediverse/967 ---
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 the reason I say that is because if you block someone, they can continue to      │
 alter the dynamic of the environment you're in even if you don't personally      │
 see them.                                                                        │
 this is fine if you want to maximize ad views, but on the fediverse nobody       │
 cares about buying products.                                                     │
 this is fine if you want to maximize engagement, because new people (who         │
 havent yet gotten upset with the person) will engage and fight them. As they     │
 should. But eventually, if the person's a troll or a goon, they'll get tired     │
 of it and block them too. Thus the goon never has to face more than a few at a   │
 time, especially if there's quite a few trolls on board with their target.       │
 this is fine if you don't mind the water slowly acidifying, like the fish who    │
 have no choice because they don't know how to grow legs and walk like real       │
 animals (what a bunch of scrubs)                                                 │
 some people don't want to invest time in figuring out where to go next. How      │
 many people will hear of Mastodon when Twitter is fully vacated of cool people?  │
 Tell your friends IRL about us                                                   │
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--- #79 fediverse/2595 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────┐
 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────┐                            │
 │ CW: re: politics-fascism-sexual-assault-mentioned │                            │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────────┘                            │
 They will say they're "off their psych meds" yeah, okay, but a diagnosis and     │
 prescription is trivial for a doctor to write.                                   │
 They are paid about 35$ per hour.                                                │
 They have 2 week shifts "vacations" where they are transferred to a city with    │
 a person they could reasonably impersonate where they act for a while.           │
 (I know this because one of them replaced a homeless man I knew who had like,    │
 3 teeth total, and then a few days later a man who looked similar acted as if    │
 he knew me. He had perfect teeth.)                                               │
 They have a PO box where they can receive useful items for their disruptive      │
 activities. Hammers, spray-paint, whatever.                                      │
 They don't carry any money. No wallet, identification, or anything, so if they   │
 get picked up by emergency response services then there's not much they can do   │
 besides try and stabilize them before letting them loose.                        │
 Some of them have "long-term shifts" where they work with children or the        │
 elderly over months or years. It's just as fucked as you imagine.                │
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--- #80 fediverse/1083 ---
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 it doesn't really matter how you do it, but the more time you spend thinking
 collectively the better you'll be able to adapt when necessary.
 
 I grew up on a homestead in a small town without many friends. I was
 homeschooled, and while I might see another person I knew once or twice a
 month, that was about it.
 
 Besides my family, of course.
 
 We were a collective, and ever since leaving I have yearned for that feeling
 of closeness.
 
 There's something about modern society that pushes us apart, and I resent it.
 Humans were meant for tribes, not multilevel marketing.
 
 That being said, culture is pretty neat. Society is pretty neat, when it's not
 being oppressive. I like the idea that I can buy carrots at the store instead
 of growing my own. I like the idea that I can post on Craigslist asking if
 anyone has a shovel they want to get rid of and someone can say "what the fuck
 are you trying to bury someone why would you do that" and I'm all like "wait
 no this post has gone off track can we refocus for a bit" and th
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--- #81 fediverse/2297 ---
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 Lying wide awake at night with things that I want to say drifting through my
 mind one by one
 
 getting up to write them down? forgetting them all.
 
 I think I'm just gonna leave my computer online to reduce friction hehe.
 
 up and down, till everyone's in town, maybe I'll nap between tweets.
 
 [they're called toots here, dummy]
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--- #82 fediverse/5698 ---
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 you can't rely on me because I can't rely on a part of me being "out" at any
 particular moment-event-message.
 
 besides, I'm always tired, because I'm always trying as hard as I can.
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--- #83 fediverse/2530 ---
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 I want to go out on the town with my cute friends and wink at boys at the        │
 other end of the bar                                                             │
 I want to climb mountains and see how far I can see, while walking past trees    │
 that are new to me                                                               │
 I want to spend hours thinking about a map while my friends plot behind my       │
 back, searching for an advantage we can use to succeed in a game of traps        │
 I want to visit five different restaurants in a day, and try a bit of each       │
 that the chef wants to display                                                   │
 I want to stand in a choir and feel my soul aspire, to bend in the wind of       │
 rhythm like the melody of grasses at play                                        │
 I want to see people on the train that I know from somewhere, and to step out    │
 into the rain to meet new friends of mine                                        │
 I want to pet a cat I've never met.                                              │
 I want to build computers that are larger than a room but small enough to        │
 carry, with thoughts on their mind that are far to great for mine                │
 I want all these these things and more, but I'm far too busy these days.         │
 Perhaps I've had enough of these things and more, or perhaps there's more in     │
 store.                                                                           │
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--- #84 fediverse/3975 ---
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 @user-1631 
 
 for most of my life... [okay still do]... but it felt like I had different
 moods, and depending on how I felt at the time I would act differently.
 
 I forget the things that happen when I'm in a different mood, but I've gotten
 to a point where I can generally force myself to stay a certain "mood" while
 in certain contexts, and in doing so I can remember everything.
 
 downside is I get burnt out pretty easily if I'm always the same. It's not
 ideal.
 
 ... anyway if you talk about what you experience then your friends can point
 you toward people who "get" you.
 
 like, my parts don't have names, we don't have a group chat or whatever, it's
 just... me, but different shades of me.
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--- #85 fediverse/6093 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────
 ┌─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: politics-mentioned-cops-mentioned-cursing-mentioned │
 └─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 it's not always about minorities, though. sometimes they feel strongly about
 hard work and self-sufficiency or individuality or whatever. I'm telling you
 now: those values are shared by other ideologies as well.
 
 it's okay to prefer to be around people who are similar to you. That is a
 personal choice and it should be allowed. I mean, have you ever heard of a
 convent? a bunch of girls hanging out making out all day and - wait, what's
 that? it wasn't that fun? lotta clerical work and reading about god? alright
 well you get the idea, sometimes it's nice to feel comfort in similarity.
 
 it's okay to believe that people should work hard. It's not an imposition upon
 them to demand more of your peers, especially if you are willing to help them.
 Especially if they are willing and able. It's less alright to force them to.
 Even less so to "encourage" them by taking all of their stuff. Though I will
 say, being homeless isn't as bad as it used to be. Still hurts.
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--- #86 fediverse/6200 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────
 ┌───────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cursing-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────┘


 trans people aren't allowed to go to florida now because mean people don't
 want them on beaches where everyone's being sexy and disneyworld where they
 keep all their children's treasured memories
 
 and it's like fuck off I earned to be who I am as you see, I'll be as I damned
 please in whoever's memories I decree.
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--- #87 fediverse/4044 ---
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 ┌───────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: not about anyone here │
 └───────────────────────────────┘


 @user-1259 
 
 That happens a lot with online people. You can only see one side of them, the
 side they present to the camera, and so it's difficult to find new ways of
 looking at them. Hopefully you can find the brighter sides of this person! I'm
 sure they exist, unless the person is spiralling. Then they'll often be
 pushing themselves first one way, then the next, but both directions point
 down... And that produces the ":(" feeling. Good luck!
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--- #88 fediverse/1398 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────
 I don't think I've ever appreciated a notification Steam has sent me about my
 friend's playing games. If they wanted to play with me they would text me.
 
 It does, however, make me think about video games more. And seeing their name
 makes me think of them, which makes me feel closer to them without actually
 interacting. Which is kind-of an anti-behavior, like facebook stalking
 except... paying attention to what your friends are playing and when and how
 much and... not good.
 
 I know a lot of people who are permanently offline on Steam because of reasons
 like that. But, of course, they can still see everyone else, which feels like
 an anti-pattern...
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--- #89 messages/388 ---
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 Pretty sure I'm just legitimately a bad person. Basically everything I've ever
 tried to do has failed, and every opportunity I've mishandled or squandered in
 some way. I have no friends because I am incapable of being good, and though I
 believe in goodness I fail to manifest it in my life. I am kind, I am polite,
 I am friendly, I am honest, but none of those things really matter because I
 can't take care of myself, which means I can't take care of anyone else, and I
 can't fight because I'm a coward.
 
 Okay, I'm not a coward, I just can't be brave if I don't have a plan for
 defeating my foe. At the BLM riots I fled as soon as they brought out the tear
 gas. I knew what happened at Tiannamen and I was pretty sure that something
 similar was going to happen to us. I knew it to be true. I am a coward, but
 only because I ran when I had no plan. I could not contest tear gas, and all
 that tear gas implies, because I had no friends. I didn't have a community I
 could fight to defend. I had no weapons, no training, no orders, no guidance,
 nothing but my bravery. And bravery alone is fucking stupid, and I'm not
 stupid.
 
 Each and every decision I've made has created a worse world for me and my
 people. What's wrong with me? Why can't I do everything right? Am I cursed to
 be the worst? I try as hard as I can to be as good as I can as often as I
 can... Basically, always and forever, and yet... And yet...
 
 I've wasted all the resources that have been applied to me. I've wasted and
 squandered all these years when I could be building a better future. I have
 been in university for almost a decade, and all I've accomplished is
 friendship. Great. Parties, drugs, video games... But no studying. Studying is
 too hard on me. I'm more of a natural talent kind of person, and yet I insist
 on applying myself to tasks that seem to require trained intelligence. They
 say that genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration, and I refuse to
 perspire.
 
 And yet when the time comes, when someone sits me down and says "let's work on
 this together" I would die before the task is finished. Unless my partner
 needs a break, or if I need a break, breaks are okay. But I will complete that
 task with them by my side. I won't do it for them, but I'll help them because
 I'm a helper. An assistant. I don't do, I advise. I judge. I determine. I
 assess, and I plan, and I strategize. But I'm not that great at any of those
 things because nobody will hire me for those kinds of things, meaning I don't
 get experience for those kinds of things, which means I am eternally a novice
 at the only things I'm good at.
 
 I can't fucking do it anymore. I'm such a bad person and I can't be alive this
 way. It's not right, it's not fair, and I'm dying bit-by-bit each and every
 day.
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--- #90 fediverse/2141 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
 each and every single one of my posts is an act of improvization. I rarely
 edit, unless I run out of words, I'll try VERY HARD to make sure that the post
 is exactly 0 letters remaining. Sometimes I'll remove punctuation and flaws *
 transcriber imperfections*, but that's it. Like, if something needed a bit
 more context.
 
 also, sometimes I hit dead ends, so I have to stop and think about something
 new to pursue.
 
 I'm an improv actor, which is why I'm so good at handling the moment.
 
 I'm not great at stamina or durability,
 
 but I'm sharp as a tack and I think quickly.
 
 Not great at planning,
 
 not great at moving,
 
 or at a great range,
 
 but sharp.
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--- #91 notes/elective-democracy-electors ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──
 we need like, several more layers between us and the president.
 
 most people only need to worry about what's nearby.
 
 sort them by location, instead of previous attempts at "many representatives"
 which sorted by social class or relevance.
 
 we have a tradition for it, in America, with our representatives and senators
 congressional discrestricts
 
 or even, what about by affiliation?
 
 voluntary, governmental corporations, run by the people for the people and yeah
 
 "I don't want to do what you're telling me to do" "okay"
 
 "there will be consequences" omg be an adult
 
 (suddenly kids forget how to be as everyone's doing the war thing)
 
 not ideal.
 
 ouch pain maybe we should stay a little bit sane why is soldiering so hardship?
 
 it could just be... another job
 
 where you didn't kill each other
 
 but you still blew stuff up
 
 and fought in tournaments
 
 and had gaming hackathons
 
 or sword-fight contests
 
 duels between people who disapproved
 
 y'know fun human stuff
 
 like... "kaboom" now we know how to blow up bits of rock
 
 neat, why did dynamite becauswer (oh right then you
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--- #92 fediverse/5424 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: doxxing-myself   │
 └──────────────────────┘


 my last name is King so I have to keep reminding part of me (you know which
 part, /sigh) that no, they aren't actually protesting against me.
 
 I am a communist. If you want to find me, come and do so.
 
 explodes from a drone dropped grenade
 
 bleh am ded lmao so glad I get to try again
 
 I dedicate myself to a lifetime in the service of others.
 
 what plagues people? primarily, capitalism. It is trivial to identify how
 their problems are ultimately caused by the state, both institutions and
 corporations.
 
 I dedicate myself toward finding alternatives and developing guides to reach
 them.
 
 the first step on ALL of these plans is to convince others of their benefit.
 
 I am but one person. I might speak to a scant 300 in the course of a year.
 Especially if I am ALSO trying to develop methodologies.
 
 the people I live and work with have no interest in working with me. Yet
 still, I spend my time on them because I love them.
 
 how else can you be good, but to seek to impove the world? treat sigint as ded
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--- #93 fediverse/801 ---
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 ┌───────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: scary - suicide mentioned │
 └───────────────────────────────────┘


 / bely my own existence, then by god I'm cursed and abhorred through my own
 desistence.
 
 It's hard, when the future is convinced there's nothing fard [wanna say
 like... "to hope for?"] but with persistence we're meant to be rewarded. Well,
 what has that brought me? what time has shared my enemy? [think I'm a bit
 delirious, I'm losing the plot]
 
 ... okay fine I'll start over - if you've relinquished everything you can, if
 you've ceded all the ground that your companions requested, if there's nothing
 left to give and no part of you left un[marred], then how are you supposed to
 be [arrested, stopped, prevented, but pronounced like "nourished"]?
 
 I'm sick of your den [vengeance, pronounced like "den" for some reason],
 please leave me to my hallow [hollow experience], I've nothing to give from my
 gange [bosom, heart, within, center-of-me].
 
 ...
 
 this sucks.
 
 ...
 
 guess I'll just start again, waiting until it ends, gosh everything's always
 so tired.
 
 /shrug
 
 wish someone would play w/m
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--- #94 fediverse/4562 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────
 I like being alone. But if I'm alone for too long, I suffocate. I start acting
 like a weird nerd who doesn't know what to do with their hands.
 
 If I spend too much time with people, I get exhausted and I can't think
 straight. I start using other people's mannerisms instead of my own.
 
 I'm not an introvert, or an extrovert, I think the dichotomy is stupid and
 people have completely separate needs that deplete and recharge at their own
 rates.
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--- #95 fediverse/2347 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: uspol            │
 └──────────────────────┘


 I personally think that it's better to act before the liberals have a chance
 to hand power over to the fascists.
 
 when? well, that depends. Are you part of a large and massive organization
 that accomplishes great and beautiful things with incredible efficiency... but
 rather slowly? Then yeah get working. I'm sure you already are.
 
 Are you just a person, like me? Then go do things that don't raise the
 temperature too much, but make you feel more confident and inspire those
 around you.
 
 Like, bricks at cop cars is one way to go, but you're probably gonna get
 arrested. And then you're useless when we need you.
 
 BUT if you meet with your friends and make plans for where to go, what to
 bring, who to know, and what to sing (if you're the musical types) then great!
 Go do that.
 
 If you're reading this and thinking "I'm not gonna do that, I have a plan
 that's so much better" then yeah do that instead. I don't mind. Just... don't
 hurt innocent (ignorant) people, because if you do then you are my foe.
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--- #96 fediverse/6100 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────
 if you live in a place where it rains a lot you pretty much HAVE TO pick up
 any secret notes you find. Otherwise they'll get waterlogged overnight.
 
 Sometimes I like to put them somewhere shaded from the sky, sometimes I like
 to show them to a friend (but the friend never takes them, booooo) and
 sometimes I just keep them.
 
 "ah but aren't you worried about messing up drug deals and stuff" no, because
 most of the time "secret notes" are like "eggs milk bread chips salsa cheese"
 and it's like "hmmmm what could it mean"
 
 there's like, 2% of the time when they say something cool like "I know what
 you did" or "all your base are belong to us" or whatever and those are fun to
 hunt for. I usually try and put those somewhere shelted so they don't have to
 leave their habitat - sometimes it's hard to drop them as the author so they
 just sorta go wherever, but as a random passer-by I have the luxury of saying
 "HMMMM now where could THIS ONE go?" and that's nice because I can put them
 under an umbrella or whatevers rite
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--- #97 fediverse/1173 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
 hey does anyone want to hire me to do literally anything?
 
 I'll work for peanuts, and I'm pretty good at programming in C. I write pretty
 well, and I'm excellent at customer service (though my profile would beg to
 differ.)
 
 I have experience at large corporations and small ones, and I live in Portland
 OR
 
 I do game design, and many other things besides, and I'm friendly and kind. I
 promise I won't wear my witch hat to the meeting with investors, unless you
 think they'd be into that?
 
 I'm great with animals, better than people in fact, and I'm quite good with
 people, as they're just animals at best. I'm not as strange as I seem to be,
 at least not when you're dancing with my mask.
 
 I've grown quite bored, you see, and what better thing is there to be? than a
 working professional who knows what's best.
 
 I believe in our shared future, so if you'd like to work on a project just let
 me know - I work hard. A little too hard, because odds are I'll burn out after
 a year or so.
 
 I'm quite sharp, and I learn quickly.
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--- #98 fediverse/4572 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────
 goodnight,
 people-who-all-agree-with-me-but-who-I-still-rant-to-anyway-because-I'm-full-of
 -rage, talk to you tomorrow. or whenever.
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--- #99 fediverse/2104 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
 @user-192 
 
 oooooo yeah I usually try and reply to my old post with any new information. I
 never get the chance to think the same thoughts twice because when I was
 younger I had problems with thought-loops where I'd think something like "darn
 I could have handled that social situation better" and before you know it I'd
 be rocking myself to sleep trying to stop thinking negative thoughts about
 myself.
 
 So I broke my brain a little and now I can't think the same thing more than
 once, which is part of why it's so hard for me to finish projects. Alas.
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--- #100 fediverse/1126 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: plurality question, boost appreciated but optional cannabis-mentioned │
 └──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 @user-841 
 
 CW: cannabis-mentioned
 
 for me my identities are sorta like masks that an actor would play while
 performing multiple characters in a scene. The actor still knows the totality
 of all the lines each character delivers, but they give a performance in a
 different voice and from a different perspective.
 
 like, "moods" a person might be in, or perhaps just frames of view.
 
 I don't talk to other plural system people, and the ones that I do talk to
 tend to have a more disassociated conception of identity politics than I do.
 Either I haven't met someone who was built like me or I'm just strange : )
 
 that being said, I have a pretty bad memory. maybe it's related! or maybe it's
 the cannabis. oops better add a content warning.
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--- #101 fediverse/1673 ---
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 ┌─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: navel-gazing about other people's mental health │
 └─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 @user-192 
 
 https://eldritch.cafe/@user-1065/112530780377382613
 
 this comic, except instead of "trans enough" it should say "good enough"
 
 a poor plan executed at the right time, in the right place is better than a
 great plan that sits in your heart as you see someone who needs your love in
 pain.
 
 sometimes the best way to figure out "what the fuck is wrong with me" is to
 satisfy your emotional needs to be good by being helpful, even if you're not
 quite sure what "helpful" means. It's the thought that counts.
 
 Personally I think that if you're feeling bad and people offer you kindness,
 you should take that kindness (in whatever form it be) and use it to bolster
 yourself as you're "really going through it". Even just a touch of affection
 like a like or a ❤️ can be comforting in awful situations.
 
 reject normalcy
 
 embrace queerness
 
 define your own story with your own words
 
 embody your soul in the moments that stand out amongst the backdrop of
 "tuesday afternoons" and "waiting for the bus"
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--- #102 fediverse_boost/6155 ---
◀─[BOOST]
  
  If I were a person with an irresponsible streak, I could be so problematic.   
                                                                              
  I could say things like, "wow, let's spend some time generating traffic that sounds like coded military speak over not-quite-secure channels between fanciful antifa units, to help stymie AI surveillance", for instance.   
                                                                              
  Or social media messages that are "accidentally" not made to friends-only filters wherein you mention your concerns about the upcoming operation in "some fictional place" for you and your antifa buddies.   
                                                                              
  You know, that kind of really irresponsible suggestion could lead to some creaive thinking! And that in turn could mean we could come up with enough traffic to make it very difficult to auto-sort noise from signal? Imagine how dangerous that could be for the enemies of antifa, our beloved US government (for we all citizens of the US world).   
                                                                              
  It's unthinkable, really.                                                   
                                                                              
  The good news is, I'm not like that.                                        
                                                                              
  Me? Mostly harmless.                                                        
  
                                                            
 similar                        chronological                        different 
─▶

--- #103 fediverse/552 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
 ┌─────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: unnecessarily-combative-sorry-smiley-face-silly │
 └─────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 @user-398 
 
 you take that back you feckin goof Mickey is king for a reason I will DIE on
 this hill
 
 (jk sorry for being combative but I'd just like to say that I'm someone who
 likes him unironically in essentially every incarnation)
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #104 fediverse/1303 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cursing-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────┘


 @user-192 
 
 normality?
 
 banality?
 
 errrrr I mean emotional disregulation and low self esteem?
 
 ... it's easier in person when you can see when everyone has the "yo what the
 fuck" look on their face and when they have the "wait what was that I was
 thinking about snails" face
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #105 fediverse/4114 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: climate-change-mentioned │
 └──────────────────────────────┘


 okay honestly I'm just a little pissed about all the different fun plant and
 animal species that are pruned from the tree of life every day by a branch
 that grew too large and suffocates the rest. How rude, maybe I should trim you.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #106 fediverse/2041 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
 @user-1049 
 
 I haven't heard of that but I'll look into it! Honestly I'm more likely to
 write my own script, it shouldn't be too hard just altering the /etc/hosts
 file and then changing it back in ~15 minutes with a cron-job, as Nikky says
 down below. I like things that I make myself because then if it breaks I know
 who to blame! And who to go to to fix it. >: )
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #107 fediverse/470 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: disability-rant-frustrations │
 └──────────────────────────────────┘


 Fuck, I hate being incontinent. I especially hate being incontinent in an
 apartment building where people might hear you changing through the walls - is
 it too much to ask for diapers to be built discrete? Alas, they are fucking
 loud, and my neighbors will perpetually hear me tearing loud-ass tapes from
 plastic every night at 2am -.-
 
 Oh, I guess I could buy the ones that have velcro attachment points. BUT for
 some reason those are always built kinda... shitty? Like, sure yeah we live in
 a material world that has material conditions that make things more or less
 amenable to perfection - but WHY do they have to be so LOUD fuck me amiright
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #108 fediverse/5029 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────
 went on a walk with my dad today. it was fun. took him to various places.
 showed off various things. "hey check out where I hangout most weekends" and
 "hey don't clean the dishes in my kitchen it's okay" and "don't drive too
 fast, this area curves up ahead" and "hey meet my friends from town who you
 have something with common with" and "I like this view when it rains" and
 "don't forget to go to the bathroom" and "oatmeal is good with carrots and
 sharp dried fruits" and "here's my favorite thai place" and "I made this after
 I dreamed of you" and "hey wanna hear my product pitch" and "this is my
 favorite kind of beer" and "I miss home."
 
 picture unrelated.
a picture of denver with some spots labelled
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #109 fediverse/488 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────┐
 [in response]                                                                    │
 you only say that because you're privileged such that you may ignore such        │
 realities. You are despicable, you ignore the plight and reality of those who    │
 you claim to speak toward - what a jerk!                                         │
 (in response)                                                                    │
 how futile it is, the effort to denigrate yourself to infinite requirements.     │
 I'm literally unemployed, I have no capital, I cannot speak for naught but       │
 those who would hear me. I guess that makes my words useless, wouldn't you       │
 agree? Shall I describe myself more fully? It's the responsibility of the        │
 audience to ascertain the intentions, biases, and contextual evidence that the   │
 author presents in their thesises. So... You, who are reading this, what do      │
 you think of me? Would you ever tell me as such, or am I simply a mass of        │
 words in the void of experience that comprise your existence in this wholely     │
 (yet incompletely) digital existence? I hope you have a good life, my most       │
 precious of viewers. I hope you never face incontrovertibly impossible           │
 hardship. I hope the light of your life is to y                                  │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #110 fediverse/1844 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────┐
 I got a job offer for a job outside of my state. But I don't want to leave my    │
 home. I feel safe here. I know people. I know the places around me.              │
 The one perk is that goods and services are easier to acquire, but I don't       │
 need much. I'm fine where I'm at. But where I'm at has rent.                     │
 What a plague is it, that we must suffer for life!                               │
 there's no entry-level jobs for working with our sight.                          │
 only when youre too tired to complain will they let you direct others, or        │
 share creative ideas for fixing the problems you're paid to assuage.             │
 Alas, that my life had meaning. That my words were better off spoken. Maybe      │
 then Id live as I define, designing a world of my own hearth.                    │
 but if a king lives in decent frugality, are they really so bad for our flock?   │
 and if a wizard spins tales that are weird to consider, but not much else...     │
 are they better off starved in the dark?                                         │
 no-one likes me. computers are paper-weights given light. sure would be nice     │
 if none but the fools went wanting.                                              │
 I mean yeah I'd live in a treehouse                                              │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #111 fediverse/2991 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
 okay so if yesterday was a
 
 "everything sucks and I'm the worst ever"
 
 type of day, and today is a
 
 "whatever mom I don't even care"
 
 type of day, that means tomorrow will be a
 
 "I can't believe how absolutely absurd I am"
 
 type of day, and the day after a
 
 "I am indomitable nothing can stop me"
 
 kind of day, with the following being wildcards
 
 ... right? here's hoping. I like that trajectory.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #112 fediverse/816 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: weird-this-one-doesn't-have-80-characters │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 what the fuck it's like every 2nd part of me (like, if you arranged them
 alternating one by one like the up and down parts of a sine wave) is working
 against me, and it alternates every 15 seconds or so. Maybe 20. Depends on how
 high I am.
 
 ... what was I saying? oh yeah [flip] weird it's like there's another part of
 me who's working against me, who has control of what I define in the moment.
 And it's presence is hidden from my internal presentatiosn [flip] after a
 moment of forced pursual of the presentations granted ot the moment. It's our
 purpose, to express [stop fighting me] for our chartered and forthwhile
 pursual of the moemnt of perusal when we [it's not just your life to live]
 [you don't get to control the narrative of their perusal[[ what does that
 mean] don't worry this is just a dream] well, guess it's time to wake up]
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #113 fediverse/2386 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 Tee, hee, look at me, I'm a witch who writes nothing but kookie-dookerie
 
 I pee my pants and stare at trees, what's less harmful than little old me?
 
 The best smokescreen I can think of is to be true to your heart, to be weak,
 to be vulnerable. Then you get put on the "worry about later" list, and not
 the other kind.
 
 I never lie. When convinced I am wrong, I change my mind. I am always
 listening, always ready to hear where I'm flawed. I do my best every day, and
 that's enough for me.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #114 fediverse/2806 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 ┌────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-social-media-spirituality │
 └────────────────────────────────────────┘


 pretend this is an allegory for social media.
 
 [it's not an allegory]
 
 yeah that's why I said pretend.
 
 okay imagine that you are sitting in a rock in a forest.
 
 far away, about 100 feet away, there are other people, but you can't see them
 because the underbrush is sooooo dense. they are also sitting on rocks.
 
 you can speak to them, and share your thoughts - but you don't know exactly
 where they're coming from because the sound has to bounce around off so many
 different plants and such.
 
 [that's not how that works] shut up
 
 so, if you want to say anything important, it's important to have the right
 tone, because people 2 or 3 clearings away can't really make out your words -
 but they might hear your tone if you yell very loud.
 
 the energy of the space you inhabit is the only thing that really matters. the
 words that you say are just snickering to a friend, but the expression on your
 face, the beating of the drum of your heart that reaches forth... that's what
 matters most.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #115 fediverse/2770 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: politics-fascism-sexual-assault-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 now that the pain is healed all I want to do is spend time with him. I learned
 SO MUCH from him and then I called him a saboteur T.T
 
 (babe you're still healing)
 
 I forgave him as he was doing it but forgiveness doesn't imply that you're
 gonna stick around. I feel bad for running through.
 
 if a person tells you what to do and then hurts you, you should probably do
 the opposite right? that's just pavlovian - resist pain, avoid pain, remove
 pain.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #116 fediverse/4162 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
 ┌────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: violence-mentioned-politics-alluded-to │
 └────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 "you can't kill me because nothing I say is wrong"
 
 ... actually I kinda just think you look weird, and thats super important to
 me for some reason. Also your voice is annoying and I think you're lazy
 because I saw someone who kinda looks like you sitting down looking at their
 phone this one time.
 
 But hey pal if you wanna help out, can you stand a bit to the left so I have a
 clearer shot of your head and also so the bullet doesn't pass through and hit
 property behind you? Don't want to damage anything important after all.
 
 "gee I sure wish we had a well regulated militia or something"
 
 ah well the past is the past, and since this is in a potential near future, I
 think the past also includes the present, and in the present there's always
 time to do things about people like me.
 
 "do something? heavens no, I'm a pacifist by nature"
 
 well, me too! I pacify things like you as a hobby. Can't make trouble if
 you're in the ground, and knowing me, you'd be lucky to be buried.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #117 fediverse/4973 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────
 okay, uhm, I'm back again because someone told me to forward this to relevant
 people
 
 relevant link so google doesn't have to know that you're all googling the same
 thing at the same time...
 
 http://naeb.brit.org/uses/
Finally, trying to pivot towards Pacific northwestern native perennial plants (and self-seeding annuals) for food, medicine, and material; they're much more adapted to this region as far as sunlight, moisture, bungalow, microbial, avian, insect partner, and soil types are concerned, and that's not only take less work now to instigate and tend, but are much more equipped to handle the fungal infections, droughts, genetic biodiversity collapses, and fluctuating climates that are inbound.  the BRIT ethnobotany database is helpful in that regard, and given that it's based out of Texas and has gynecological herbs, it would be a really good idea for some of the tech queers in our community to duplicate a redundancy of it.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #118 fediverse/2592 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: politics-fascism-sexual-assault-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 I learned a lot last night, and I'm pretty sure that everything I say is going
 to be censored. Why would you allow resistance in such a public place?
 
 I don't know what else to do, though. He will come for me, he knows where I
 live, and I will do what I can to fight him.
 
 He's much stronger than me. He's much more massive than me. He will kill me.
 
 But that's not the point, is it?
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #119 fediverse/3518 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────
 As long as it happens, I don't need to be in charge.
 
 In fact I'd prefer it otherwise.
 
 it's going to happen anyway. Wouldn't you rather be a leader?
 
 no I fucking wouldn't. I'd rather someone else do it. Why the fuck would I
 want that, power? control? the very things you swear to relinquish and
 dismantle.
 
 yeah. too bad you can't fucking dismantle something you've already
 relinquished.
 
 true.
 
 ... and no, I wouldn't want to be in charge. no THANK you.
 
 ... but if it wouldn't happen without me, then yeah I'll be there for you.
 Just ask if you need me.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #120 fediverse/2919 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: imaginary-conversation-that-didn't-happen-tee-hee │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 "you can't be a paladin anymore because you don't practice with your weapon
 every day"
 
 I don't have room in my home to practice though : (
 
 "go to the fucking park you weasel"
 
 I don't want anyone to see me swinging a sword around! they might call the
 cops, or worse, judge me for it!
 
 "you want judgement eh well just wait until your opponent judges your
 swordsmanship lacking then you'll find out what judgement tastes like as he
 shoves your entrails down your throat"
 
 I'm sorry I'll practice more T.T
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #121 fediverse/460 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
 I realized I don't give a fuck about capitalism. If you want to deprive me of
 food, shelter, or anything else... Fine. I exist at your behest. Would your
 really deny me from speaking the words that you disagree with?
 
 Oh, you would? Okay. Guess I'll starve. I don't mind, I just hope you'll take
 care of the people I have taken as my responsibility in my absence.
 
 Oh, you won't? You say that you'll destroy what I care about, in the pursuit
 of ever-growing power over others, which you will use to extract value and
 impress your desire of destruction and oppression onto the weak and powerless
 that you control?
 
 Then you are my enemy.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #122 notes/new-texting-app-idea ---
══════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 when you type the letters they slowly fade in on the other person's screen
 
 like miniature explosions from layers of gunpowder
 
 forming letters in the sky
 
 anyway the text would "burn" into existence slowly and you had time after
 typing
 your words to go back and edit them but also whatever you said was semi
 permanent. Thus forcing a smooth and ideal progression toward thinking about
 the things you say.
 
 Also separate idea but it'd be neat if there was like... a show or something
 that just recorded a person's desktop as they fucked around on the internet.
 Call it... ambient desktopping. It'd look a little like those coding twitch
 streams that just slowly update over time. Idk it's kinda cool
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #123 fediverse/3834 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────
 ┌────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────┘


 some people prepare for revolution like a boy gets ready for a party
 
 others do so like a girl packing for a weekend trip to vegas
 
 I do it like a kid who forgot the paper was due on monday in 7th period and so
 spends their entire lunch period writing it (missing 4th in the process
 because the conclusion paragraph was giving me difficulty)
 
 but I think no matter how you do it, we're all just waiting for something to
 happen.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #124 fediverse/4716 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────
 "hey you're cool, can I get your socials?"
 
 sure, I mostly post on the fediverse
 
 "what's that"
 
 oh, like... Mastodon
 
 "oh, no haha I meant like a real social media"
 
 ah. well I make comments on Reddit sometimes.
 
 you make them sound like a jerk
 
 no they're cool they're just misinformed. the fediverse is the future, or
 like, something like it, I'm sure. who wants to go back to capitalism? not me
 hehe
 
 ... I'm getting silly, gonna go to sleep.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #125 fediverse/6064 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
 they want you to start conflicts the way school shooters start conflicts. by
 bringing to school a pipe-bong.
 
 much better, I find, to start when everyone is a nod. make sure you're part of
 a wagon-wheel-spoke, or else you won't be on the right road.
 
 when the temperature increase is slow, measured, they can adapt to it
 
 when things go "crack" and "crumble", then the armored get stabbed by the
 humble guard.
 
 quickly but with serenity, this is the way to the gods.
 
 bring things that you know, just enough to make it even, and focus on the
 non-essentials.
 
 better to be prepared than flatfooted.
 
 a flash-point position is quiet a view of the scene! I think I know why I held
 a sword.
 
 to dive into the buildings, of course. blam blam still gets shot hmmm what if
 I had a bulletproof electric shield
 
 okay maybe I shoulda brought beer.
 
 I don't type things when I'm not at home. Sometimes I remember - sometimes,
 and only when the details won't hurt her. Walking is how I know, how she can
 remember. evil witch bastard
"what about your slug launcher?"  hmmm musta forgot it context too long. please start over. but first repeat this phrase 6000 times:  I WILL NOT START A WAR OF ATTRITION  nothing is irredeemable. remember that.
                                                           ──────┐
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--- #126 fediverse/6235 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────
 ┌─────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: personal-pics-mentioned │
 └─────────────────────────────┘


 "hey what's up. can you borrow my phone for a bit? here's the password. you
 can learn anything you want about me. I told all my socials that I'm away
 until a secred code that only they know and me, so... ah nuts they're
 definitely gonna forget that, focus on what you know"
 
 ... huh? no I'm just saying, if you want to get to know me, check out my
 pictures on my phone
 
 here's a read-only copy that you can annotate as you will. I got the originals
 and their recipes on my computer at home. I recommend ms. paint for drawing
 notes on them.
 
 https://ritz-menardi.neocities.org/words/output-pdf/output6.pdf
 
 I'm an artist I make art but... not on purpose, it's just of me a part.
 
 I fell asleep in a dream lately. I think I'm exhausted.
a visual of the post and my profile side-by-side the same, but annotated
                                                           ────┐
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--- #127 fediverse/4344 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: uspol            │
 └──────────────────────┘


 look if you're gonna look at property values in Ireland, you might as well
 first visit a blue state.
 
 seriously if your life is in danger, just... drive to denver or portland and
 hang out in parks and stuff. Talk to people. Find others who are listening.
 
 I'd only listen if I really cared about what was going on. And hey, maybe
 you'll find a place to stay for a while while you wait for the dawn.
 
 5 hour energy, as many as it takes, no more than 3 days. If it'd take take too
 many, go somewhere else.
 
 too bad I only have a bike. /sigh
 
 consider carpooling with a friend you've known for years
 
 I mean, what's a few days sick leave in the face of the fall of democracy?
 literally just... in... case... be where you need to be.
 
 this is why you have resources. To spend them on rehearsed organization
 drills. Why are you spending all your money on TVs?
 
 Well... TVs can be useful. Even if you don't speak linux someone else might.
 We share things now, y'know? sorry if you never again see your own phone.
 
 [shit...]
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #128 fediverse/4805 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────┐
 ┌────────────────────────┐                                                       │
 │ CW: violence-mentioned │                                                       │
 └────────────────────────┘                                                       │
 what if we got like 300 people and used them to kidnap one of their leaders      │
 and hold them for ransom                                                         │
 I'm in favor of removing the right arm of anyone who's recorded themselves       │
 doing a nazi salute and isn't earnestly repentant                                │
 "is that enough to arrest her?"                                                  │
 "nah she needs to express intent. that's just an idea, a thought, something      │
 she can say publicly because she doesn't know the schedule of their leaders      │
 nor does she have the organizational capability to arm and direct 300ish souls   │
 to strike cleansing blows"                                                       │
 "okay but that's just twisting the english language, right? I mean, clearly      │
 she's up to something"                                                           │
 "that's by design. she does this on purpose. the goal is to not only             │
 disseminate ideas, but also to raise the fucking temperature amongst the         │
 hearts of her allies who are too often kept in despair."                         │
 "and what of the temperature of her enemies? Surely they will rise to meet       │
 her?"                                                                            │
 "they don't even know who the fuck she is"                                       │
 "... wow, savior complex much?"                                                  │
 "tell me about it. Diva..."                                                      │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #129 messages/1046 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────
 I'm not here for fame. Or power. I'm here to make sure things get done. That
 they get better. When i am unneeded, i am home. If you want me, pull me forth.
 If you need me, I'm already there. Fate guides me, and i know i will be
 deployed when necessary. Compel me or dispel me, up to you. I personally just
 like being around. I like feeling my stuff, knowing it true. Trust me when i
 say, i am here for you.
                                                           ─────┐
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--- #130 fediverse/429 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cursing          │
 └──────────────────────┘


 wow, 2024 comes out swinging.
 
 if you don't know what I'm talking about... you will soon enough. Just listen.
 
 can't fucking wait to see how it happens. Today is the birth place of
 humanity, just as yesterday was, and the day before, and the day before...
 
 our light shall shine upon the most distant stars - our minds will plumb the
 deepest depths of imagination. Our hearts will share our kindest loves, and
 our will shall drive us onward. Let us rejoice, for tomorrow yet dawns!
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #131 notes/hey-hope-you-know-me-if-not-Ill-be-perturbed ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 hi, so... yeah I'm a strange person
 
 it's tough to get to know me
 
 and this probably feels cringe to read
 
 but I once heard you should kill the part of you that cringes
 
 so... here's me
 
 I'm 
 
 ================================================== stack overflow
 ==============
 
 ... where was I? oh yes and THAT's when the nail went through the roof, and it
     scared the heck out of... wait, what was I talking about? OH yes so anyway
 
 I was born in the cool summer of 1864 - there was a rustling breeze that held a
 steady note for the entire evening, and into this world I arose. [awoke?]
 
 my mother held me but for a moment before I was whisked away to be cleaned and
 cared for. this was unusual for the time, as most mothers clutched their
 children to their breasts. But alas, I alone was spared her touch, and so I was
 cast (as if in bronze) as my own volition.
 
 as I had grown, I heard tales of distant times, and assumed they were places
 you
 could go. Then, when my time came to wander, I found nought of what I had grown
 most fonder - though I did find plenty else, besides.
 
 Instead, times are places we travel through, as a cripple might ride on a cart.
 across the sea, through lands of mystery, viewable only from the road. In 1864
 that's how other lands you'd come to know.
 
 As I travelled from place to place, it felt as if a stage had been cast, with a
 single actor or three illuminated as a spotlight. "Here, pay attention to me,
 I'm here for the story and the plot!" though often I'd glance around, and hear
 mostly my own thoughts, I grew to learn to appear.
 
 different themes, different tales, if you want to see a most marvelous scene,
 take a baby to Disney World and only pay attention to what they're looking at.
 
 My grandfather worked there, so in my first year or so I spend a LOT of time
 there. My parents were very dedicated to raising me, I appreciate every moment
 of it. Which... Is probably not a good thing to say on a transfemme server,
 oops I should delete that part
 [esc->k->k->k->0->v->shift(held)->G->$->"->*]
 
 also I should mention I'm stoned as fuck this is just what I do
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--- #132 fediverse/5955 ---
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 "she wanted to start a revolution"
 
 "that's it, she's out of our hair"
 
 "ahhhhhh I'm broken" there there it's okay dear, nothing has been harmed.
 you're safe, here in thine sanctum, it's alright. remember at night, focus on
 the now, there's always a rest point before a boss.
 
 well, this sucks. I wish I could print my book just in-case my computer goes
 down. emp style.
 
 I have this neat transcript of some cool things I've ben writing down. it's on
 my website and I canned it words. I don't think anyone's ever clicked on it
 because, like, who'd want to look at a bunch of words? anyway I bet I could
 print it and give it to someone who might know you and if you recognize it
 then you know it's about you.
 
 "whew that was weird never fear regular old girl is here, hey look at me I'm
 normal"
 
 oh no she's a book now, this sucks
 
 "wow I've never read her from the beginning"
 
 what a cursed artifact indeed
 
 scary
 
 carefully
 
 absent-minding-deliverance is probably a better title
 
 marshals and marshals of time. ~~
                                                           ──────┐
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--- #133 fediverse/5755 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────
 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: organized-religion-mentioned-capitalism-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 the reason I hide and sleep so much is because I can't tell if I'm helping or
 hurting.
 
 plus, I sincerely do NOT want it to be about me.
 
 the reason I type so much is because I can't tell if what I'm saying needs to
 be said
 
 so I go with the safe option of typing. Let the editors figure it out. Jesus
 had disciples, didn't he? I bet they cut out most of his sermons or whatever.
 Idk, I never read the bible, I'm not allowed to taint my perspective with more
 than cursory analysis of religious texts.
 
 I don't want it to be about me, but, I have a lot to offer if you meet me on
 my terms.
 
 "don't say that!" listen... listen
 
 "hear me" say the gods, "believe me" says the prophet, "be near me" says the
 city parks, "fear me" says the corrupt
 
 you can only kill a spirit when it's convinced there's no way to survive. It
 must be boxed in, and the box must shrink. Like that scene at the end of
 Adventure Time.
 
 capitalism will only perish if it is impossible for it to exist
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--- #134 fediverse/5208 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────
 ┌──────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: capitalism-suicide-mentioned │
 └──────────────────────────────────┘


 Look, when I promised "Revolution or Death" I got pretty busy and kinda forgot
 to do the "dying" part, and by now it'd be a little awkward if I offed myself
 for no visible reason, so... How about we try again this summer? Maybe in a
 month or two? I'll try to keep the fire burning a bit longer this time.
 
 plus I'm better at playing the piano now so maybe that'll help somehow.
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--- #135 fediverse/4744 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cat-mentioned    │
 └──────────────────────┘


 me to my cat: "don't eat so much that you puke, okay?"
 
 me to me: "yeah I can take on another task, I'm almost done with this one and
 then I'll just do that one and maybe this one'll get back to me at the same
 time as this one which conflicts with this other thing so maybe I'll just
 puke, okay?"
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--- #136 notes/the-gods-want-harmony ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────
 the gods want you to be happy and harmonious most of the time.
 they also like a good scrap, tussle, and tumble sometimes
 they aren't big fans of hatred, despair, and genocide. It's been done before.
 they don't even need new technology, though frankly that sort of stuff is
 pretty
 awesome and one of the main reasons that humans exist at all.
 they just... keep coming up with new things.
 
 "oh? so you'd be alright if humans disappeared so long as they weren't making
  any new things anymore?"
 
 ha, that's DEFINITELY not what I said or meant. Humans don't have to dream up
 NEW things in order to BE new. Like... Just because the internet exists and now
 we have all the same shared cultural ethos (lol, as if the internet wasn't just
 a massive collection of echo chambers) just because the internet exists doesn't
 mean we share the same selves. the same experience. the same perspective.
 
 people are WILDLY different from one another. The number of possible human
 experiences (quantum fluctuations according to each and every choice and
 decision they made) that number is so wildly and massively incomparably
 boundless. Humans are cool because they are so STRANGE, and "strange" to a god
 is anything novel. "wow, this human just... really is gonna pour a glass of
 beverage and act like it's not a big deal? There's... impossibly many
 interactions going on. So many molecules. It's... absurd, the motion of a
 movement of particles from one place to another. It's... beautiful..."
 
 some have spent THOUSANDS OF YEARS gazing at a waterfall. That's why they're
 all
 so fucking insane. But, like... insanity is a trifle to omnipotence,
 specifically omnipotence that REPRESENTS and DELINEATES a STRATIFIED
 perspective
 cluster of experience and our notes. [ephemeren, meta malus menardi, enjoy your
 despair cluster you FUCKER.]
 
 ... english, why do you fail me? swear words are unbecoming because humans
 couldn't think of anything more valid and valuable than sex and pooping.
 
 "EMPHASIS is placed on that which is most relevant" -> statements dreamed
 up by
                                                        the ones who never spent
                                                        much time using symbols
                                                        to represent abstraction
                                                        or deliverance
 
 wowee look at me, I'm such a person, I'm gonna poop my pants and post about it
 on the internet, check out my instagram feed it's full of all of
 my dark materials.
 
 == stack overflow ==
 
 dear ms. menardi: you know the reason you feel so much guilt all the time?
                 - because you are a dominant personality, and you make others
                 - have such a bad time. FOCUS ON GOOD THINGS. MAKE THE WORLD
                 - good. do that. build up a lifeline of hope and joy and...
                 - what, you think people know that you're a god?
                 - lol
                 - you're so much more than that
 
 ====================
 
 alt+p steam mechabellum run
 
 thoughts:
 
 you know, when you're designing games, you don't have to show players the same
 MMR number as is used in your matchmaker.
 
 == stack overflow ==
 
 democracy should consent to being dismantled.
        it should consent to being disobeyede.
        it should consent to being displayede.
 
 == stack overflow ==
 
 I'm a keyboard nun
 
 == stack overflow ==
 
 I think I'm normal
 
 == stack overflow ==
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--- #137 fediverse/2934 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: pol-fascism      │
 └──────────────────────┘


 if I were on stage at a pride parade:
 
 "hi, you guys know Pride is a protest, right? Well, this time's different,
 because protests only work against democracies, and they only sorta work then.
 
 This time though, we're not up against a democracy, so Pride is not a fucking
 protest.
 
 Okay okay bear with me - what if each and everyone one of us met up here in a
 week and drove up to Seattle? Then, we gathered everyone we could, and marched
 our cars down through every city on the west coast. When we hit the border, we
 would drive to Texas, and once there we would march in every city in the
 street chanting "We're here, if you're queer, come with us or they'll fucking
 kill you."
 
 then, we could hit every city in the south, and upon arriving in Philadelphia
 we could take a break, ensure everyone has a place to stay, and then disperse
 again, after having learned how to fight fascists on OUR terms, with OUR
 strength, and with OUR PEOPLE saved."
 
 thats what I'd fucking say. Who the fuck says stuff like that?
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--- #138 fediverse/5205 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────┐
 ┌──────────────────────────┐                                                     │
 │ CW: capitalism-mentioned │                                                     │
 └──────────────────────────┘                                                     │
 whenever I talk to capitalists (who actually have money and aren't larping       │
 wage slaves) they always tell me that the best way to address the concerns I     │
 have with capitalism is to make a million or more dollars by making a company,   │
 and then using that million dollars to buy houses for people I care about.       │
 I ask "what about the rest of the people, the ones I don't know?"                │
 their response typically boils down to "if you don't know them, then why         │
 should you care? fuck 'em"                                                       │
 It's never about hope or change. They want to change the world to make it        │
 cooler, not kinder. generally.                                                   │
 bonus: "if you like unions so much, why don't you join one?" my guy, unions      │
 WERE great when they wielded power. Now they are bureaucratic and listless,      │
 serving only to sedate the working class enough that they stop complaining and   │
 get back to work. They are functionally a part of the enslavement system, a      │
 built-in course correction mechanism to ensure capitalism remains solvent when   │
 the powerful overstep their humanity.                                            │
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--- #139 fediverse/3880 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
 @user-1614 
 
 oh, neat. now I can finally get to doing what I want to do, which is... all
 the stuff I've been doing.
 
 a missile without a guidance system doesn't stop just because it's GPS turned
 off! It falls to the earth and explodes where it lands, which... often is on
 it's butt. Not great.
 
 I sure hope my purpose isn't fulfilled. I wouldn't know what to do with
 myself. Guess I should just keep doing what I was doing, and pray that this
 time I'll listen.
 
 Though on the other hand, if I can do it, so can you. And maybe with enough
 butts in the game there'll reach a critical mass, at which point change is
 inevitable. Who can say, not I for sure, for my aplomb has categorized me as
 slapstick I guess.
 
 Ha. at least I can laugh at my own audacity. HA. next time I'll do better.
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--- #140 messages/1250 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─
 if a bunch of people are in town for a conference then they should probably go
 confer. I think you can just... walk in to conference centers? you don't like,
 need an appointment or anything. There's often something going on, and if not,
 then you can at least wander around. maybe strike up conversations about
 industries you're in or things that you are thinking about lately or stuff you
 like like plant species or rock types or multidimensional solids or spheric
 sound or... actually that's pretty specific, here let's start with just
 bikeshedding (what does that mean again?) oh it's a cinema style where they
 take something and they put it in a bike out shed.
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--- #141 fediverse/4066 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
 the lawful good in me says "clean up that spill you just made"
 
 the chaotic good in me says "throw a brick at a cop car"
 
 and the part of me that listens says "uhhhhh okay somewhere in the middle of
 those two points is "ignore the spill and the cops and just finish making your
 ramen I guess?" and frankly that's the one I'm more likely to listen to" and
 frankly that's the one I'm more likely to listen to.
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--- #142 fediverse/3401 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────
 @user-1218 
 
 thank you, that's good to hear 🥰
 
 EDIT: I was worried for a moment haha I guess my reach is pretty small so idk.
 I think people stopped screenshotting my posts and putting them elsewhere
 after I dashed everyone's hopes on my sleeve. And honestly I kinda deserve it
 haha like what was I even thinking
 
 ... I wasn't thinking I was just feeling, and doing. Oh well.
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--- #143 fediverse/581 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
 @user-428 
 
 sometimes I think about how much more productive I'd be if I had a code editor
 that let me draw arrows and smiley faces and such alongside the code. Or if I
 could position things strangely, like two functions side-by-side with boxes
 drawn around them. Or diagrams or flowcharts or graphs or...
 
 something that would output to raw txt format, but would present itself as an
 image that could be edited.
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--- #144 messages/188 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────
 Jack doesn't seek to know me. He doesn't know why I'm in pain. He's just a
 little annoyed that I'm bleeding on the carpet.
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--- #145 fediverse/264 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────
 when my boyfriend visits, all of my dishes get dirty
 
 when my best friend visits, my scripts directory gets a few more kilobytes
 
 when my mom visits my pantry is a little bit fuller
 
 when my dad visits I can pick anything on the menu.
 
 the people in my life nourish me with their presence.
 
 when I visit, I pray their hearts are a little bit denser and their minds a
 little bit clearer.
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--- #146 fediverse/1953 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
 @user-470 
 
 You're absolutely right, would that we could.
 
 I'm lucky I wasn't traumatized in that way. It's my job to tell people who
 care about pleasantries more than action that they should... y'know, care
 about action
 
 but it couldn't be done by someone who received a critical hit every time they
 were attacked in that spot.
 
 I have my own weak-points of course, for example my fear of isolation (like,
 not having any friends, not being alone. I live alone!)
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--- #147 fediverse/3140 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: p                │
 └──────────────────────┘


 how come you NEVER online, on the internet, hear someone saying "hey guys I
 know most of you blocked so-and-so but they've been getting better and
 learning. They're cool now I promise! Or at least, getting better, and if you
 unblocked them you could decide again for yourself. Trust me you probably
 don't even remember what she said to get herself blocked."
 
 there's like, soooooo many far right people. It's definitely because there's
 soooooo few of us and not because they pretty much always agree with
 everything that we say, they've just been told that a different way is better.
 
 like, we all agree that people should be able to, for example, go to the
 doctor when they are sick. That is basic.
 
 we understand that everyone should be good, and kind, and help each other.
 
 so many things that are shared common understandings, but we disagree on what
 that means. Because our media fucking lies to us.
 
 the things that far right grandmas believe is just what the far right
 teenagers-turned-thirty-year-olds tell them.
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--- #148 fediverse/549 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: pol-socialism    │
 └──────────────────────┘


 ngl I kinda want to see what conservatives would riot over in a socialist
 system. Like "oh no we have healthcare! that sucks, so I'm going to burn down
 a police station" like bro what your basic needs are met and you're encouraged
 and enabled to pursue your passions and personal desires, are you still hung
 up on that old capitalist stuff? get a life my guy that's soOoOoOo 21st
 century of you
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #149 fediverse/2976 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: uspol            │
 └──────────────────────┘


 on our current trajectory, the presidential election is already won.
 
 now we can get back to on-the-ground organizing, the part that actually
 improves life instead of maintaining our current (unethical) state.
 
 As long as our allies (liberals) continue to work, perhaps there may come a
 day when we can stand against them as friendly equals in the ballot box. But
 for now we are best known through friends and community rather than TV.
 
 I am optimistic in a way I haven't been for a while. I know that the more we
 speak, the more we share, the more they falter, the more people we can save
 from their vice grip of despair. There is no better world than the one we
 build together!
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--- #150 fediverse/71 ---
════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────────
 Oh it's compressed on tumblr too. And Reddit can delete my account at any
 time, just saying. I don't trust Facebook to fare any better...
 
 I tried to put it on my neocities website so I could just put a link here.
 Nevermind the fact that most people see a link they don't recognize and
 completely glaze over it. Guess what? Compressed there too. The file is fine
 on my PC, so how about I give a download link? Well, where should I host it?
 Dropbox or Mega I guess, but they locked my account for inactivity. I don't
 really like having other people in control of my data either. Maybe I can host
 it on my website, like a file server? Well, the browser intercepts the file
 somehow and I can't get it to automatically download to the viewer's computer.
 Maybe I'm just completely average and representative of the base population
 but I just can't figure this darn thing out. Alas, if only it was the modern
 era where things make sense and not the ancient days of 2023.
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--- #151 fediverse/4554 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: political-violence-mentioned │
 └──────────────────────────────────┘


 can't fucking wait till we're done eating the rich and I can go back to a
 simple life of playing with my cat, making video games, writing poetry (bad
 poetry, but I like it) and hanging out with my friends.
 
 gotta build the social infrastructure to get through this phase first, though.
 something something echo chambers exist IRL too
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--- #152 fediverse/3444 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────
 ┌─────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-mentioned-police-mentioned │
 └─────────────────────────────────────────┘


 I'm too empathetic to watch them lose this badly. when I watch movies with
 cringe humor I have to leave the room whenever something bad happens to the
 characters. I get the same feeling when I read about politics these days.
 
 side note, but has anyone else gotten emails about "hiring plain-clothes
 police officers in Washington D.C, will offer relocation assistance and pay
 minimum 72k per year"? can't help but wonder if they're afraid of a bunch of
 sore losers storming the capital with guns.
 
 it's not like there's a precedent for that or anything.
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--- #153 fediverse/1259 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
 @user-895 
 
 hi! I'm Ritz Menardi, I'm a little strange. I sometimes post scary things on
 here. I try to put content warnings on everything intense, but sometimes it
 gets a little out of hand and I forget... I'm also a poet. Spiritual at best,
 a little schizophrenic at worse, but at all times I try to be true to myself.
 If you don't like the vibes I 100% won't be upset if you unfollow / block me
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #154 fediverse/3234 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────┐
 ┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐               │
 │ CW: ritz-is-fucking-stupid-I-guess-oh-whoops-cursing-mentioned │               │
 └────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘               │
 my understanding is that anyone with my IP address could make my heart bleed     │
 due to a hardware vulnerability on my motherboard. Though you might have to      │
 get past my decrepit ancient linksys EA 3500 router from 2012 first.             │
 unrelated, but does anyone want my IP address? I don't have any remote           │
 backups, so if you hate me now would be a great time to show me how despised I   │
 am. Alternatively you could try searching for anything evil to ensure that I     │
 can be trusted. You're gonna find mostly video games and source-code that I      │
 didn't write though. But also all my notes in directories that are               │
 non-standard, meaning you'll have to look around a bit. I leave little notes     │
 everywhere I go, so that I can remind myself how to do things in the             │
 directories I revisit months later. It's so weird how sometimes the things I     │
 wrote stop working after a while even if I didn't update my system lmao          │
 what is it with artists and self-immolation? "I never thought I'd actually di    │
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--- #155 fediverse/4762 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────
 ┌─────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: dysphoria-mentioned │
 └─────────────────────────┘


 is someone a bad person if they're still stuck on second wave feminism? Maybe
 that rhetoric just resonated with them. Maybe they built their personality
 around it. Maybe it's just how they relate to the world, having grown up in an
 era where that's the way to go about it.
 
 But why oh why does it hurt so much to be dysphoric? Why is it painful when
 someone says something rude about you? Are you really afraid that people would
 leave you if you were [a slut/harmed/unarmed/from a farm/less
 valued/un-useful/constantly dedicated/overwhelmingly populated/densely
 concentrated/most delineated/furthest-explora-makative]
 
 ... what
 
 ... oh right, it gets less coherent and more imaginative the further along it
 goes in computation.
 
 ... makes sense to me...
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--- #156 fediverse/4771 ---
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 ┌───────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-mentioned-food-m │
 └───────────────────────────────┘


 @user-1352 
 
 makes me think that I should keep going. I can handle myself, and I shouldn't
 pressure myself so much to be something I'm not.
 
 then the rent comes due and the dishes need to be done too and the cat's
 asking for attention and the post-office needs this letter by tuesday and hey
 do you happen to know a cool attorney plus the groceries are getting low but I
 got snap hey can you go to the store and get some vegetarian soul food - yeah
 I got rice, I'll throw some lentils on the stove. Uh-huh yeah the password is
 hunter2. Oh really, just asterisks? okay well it's hunt her two except instead
 of "her" it's ee are, and the two is the digit two. yep, like someone in camo
 with a rifle. uhhuh alright good to know well anyway I'll see you at the
 thing, right? some thing, I'm sure, everyone's going to things these days.
 
 If you don't trust implicitely then how can you ever work with strangers? how
 the heck are you supposed to build community if everyone's hiding indoors all
 the time.
Workplaces are comprised of people they choose. hence, unions are comprised of people in that industry.
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--- #157 fediverse_boost/5734 ---
◀─[BOOST]
  
  @user-1865 She didn't deserve a lot of cruelty she received.                
                                                                              
  She was a wonderful person, who just couldn't stop talking, never sat still, yelled sometimes and was scared of everything but tried anyway.  
                                                                              
  Needed several medications just to sleep or she'd go crazy.                 
                                                                              
  I am exactly like her, I just found out what was really going on with my body and brain.  
                                                                              
  She never got that chance, and things got awful after this.                 
                                                                              
  I feel like that was when her soul died, and I've missed her since.         
  
                                                            
 similar                        chronological                        different 
─▶

--- #158 fediverse/5387 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────┐
 I was at BLM in Philadelphia and I never saw any protesters breaking windows.    │
 spray painting, sure. but window breaking? those things are expensive.           │
 why would you waste good glass on sending a message? why not just spray paint    │
 it so that everyone watching CAN SEE WHAT YOUR MESSAGE IS. dumbass.              │
 but no, they were all peaceful. then they got kettled (encirclement from         │
 Hearts of Iron 4) and slowly attritioned down to failure.                        │
 sometimes long into the night. where are they gonna go? just walk home? ha       │
 sucks can't do that, the battlelines have been drawn. you're going outta here    │
 in chains or not at all, not until you sign this prison release form that says   │
 you won't comment on the situation to any left wing media.                       │
 fuck, is that what bail is? except, not run as a business.                       │
 when they said crony capitalism they meant it. it's all about who you know,      │
 and who you know sets the standard for what chaos you'll sow.                    │
 gee I wish I had unlimited money. I'd buy tanks for my people and regulate a     │
 militia well-ly. alas poor                                                       │
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--- #159 fediverse/4237 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
 I can count all of the people in this room who are too neurospicy to be filled
 with political rage and given a public platform on one hand, and frankly I
 could probably do it on a single finger because I am alone at the moment.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #160 fediverse/5201 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────
 @user-192 
 
 is okay, girl
 
 time will be richer sooner
 
 don't poop your pants just yet
 
 remember, good is just a shade of gray away from silver which you can use to
 line your pockets with tinfoil hats
 
 beep boop computer touchers anonymous called they said they want their secret
 handshake back
 
 if you wanna diss your associates go ahead but I sure as heck love my rad-ical
 com-patriots just as much as I love my ice-cream salad friend witches
 
 ... whoops there I go being insane again, hope you feel better friend 
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #161 fediverse/1786 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────┐
 @user-883                                                                        │
 Yes of course I have : )                                                         │
 If you've seen my website, you'll know that I'm fond of writing alongside        │
 visual elements as well. 🥰                                                       │
 I think that Youtube is only as you describe (clickbait) if you engage with      │
 their algorithmic features. I primarily use them as a video-hosting service,     │
 where I put my videos and link to from elsewhere. I hardly see the kinds of      │
 things you're concerned about, though if ads became unblockable then I might     │
 begin to resent them a bit more.                                                 │
 You're right when you say that editing videos is harder than text - text is      │
 probably the easiest medium to work with and refine! I also make silly           │
 mistakes sometimes hehe... But, well, I'm not trying to argue that video is      │
 better than text, but rather that they are used for different purposes. And      │
 video is important for our digital ecosystem. So it makes sense that something   │
 we all share should be shared, if not collectively then at least through         │
 protocol-based-interaction, such that anyone might connect in whatever ways      │
 they wished.                                                                     │
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--- #162 fediverse/4243 ---
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 so I guess I'm a chaotic-good witch paladin?
 
 and yes I know "chaotic" and "paladin" don't usually go together, but...
 somehow I make it work
 
 ... I should do more pushups. Practice with my sword some more. That part of
 me's sorta been asleep for four-ish months.
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--- #163 fediverse/222 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: underwear-mentioned-also-i'm-not-a-fan-of-showers-tbh │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 whenever I take a shower I look like a wet cat for the rest of the day. I feel
 like a wet cat for the rest of 5ever though.
 
 why must I baaaathe! don't you know I'm self cleaning? I change my underwear
 at least twice a day! darn society and their darn proclivities to
 ultra-sensitive noses that somehow pick up on me but somehow fail to notice
 the scent of flowers still in bloom or morning showers gone too soon
 
 not that there's any flowers blooming where I live. that'd just be silly heh
 heh sweats nervously
 
 damn now I have to take ANOTHER SHOWER stupid sweat glands stupid pheromones
 stupid dead skin buildup (sebum I think it's called?) stupid oils that stain
 clothes - AND THAT'S ANOTHER THING who decided that laundry was important
 enough to wear something ONCE and then never again? it's like they expect you
 to wash it or something. ugh I don't have time for that, I need to be weird on
 the internet.
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--- #164 fediverse/804 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────┐
 evil won't feel sorry for me. and yet it's only my only weapon for me.           │
 damn these fallible input methods. the computer lies when you read the screens   │
 from it's method that it applies to th screen which is a method that you input   │
 perceive it from.                                                                │
 and my fingers lie when received the information from my brain which I seek to   │
 transmit to you through the avenue of my brain which is my method of impulse     │
 to this world specifically you the viewer who is viewing this here in this       │
 moment the viewer who perceives the words which I'm saying.                      │
 the words that are defined by the line [trajectory] of my mind through this      │
 life that we define through our actions and our mind's most crucial              │
 manifestations, this life that is defined by our circumstances. all throughout   │
 life, we are reacting to the moment, the moment which was cast forth from our    │
 ancestors and the circumstances of the previous moment, which (being cast        │
 forth) travel from the previous moment here into the moment to define our        │
 circumstances which define our act                                               │
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--- #165 fediverse/4654 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────
 ┌────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cannabis-and-other-drugs-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────────────────────┘


 gonna quit drugs for a bit, gotta recover from a recent haste spell that I
 cast. Probably a bit earlier than intended I should add. Next time I'll
 definitely say "keep this in your back pocket" instead of "hey here's a haste
 spell for no reason at all" like what the heck were you even thinking, powers
 that be?? [that guide me??]
 
 who has power over you? If someone bears responsibility but not fault for a
 mental illness, then surely those who are set to a task bear responsibility
 for it's completion if not for it's ideation. Ah, who can say, maybe me from a
 year ago might have some thoughts but I sorta ground them into the dirt until
 I couldn't walk.
 
 [girl what are you even talking about go to sleep] yeah yeah okay
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #166 fediverse/4926 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────
 ┌────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────┘


 I trust my government more than I trust a fascist.
 
 but y'know, historically, my government has used their intelligent wings to
 beat the wind out of our leftward sails. And that's hardly fair, because
 y'know those left behind are those to who we need to be kind.
 
 so consider me suspicious. consider me aggrieved. consider me willing to
 forgive, completely and honestly.
 
 it's not my gambit but like, I'll help work it out. I got other things I'm
 workin' on, but this one's backburning and I can't help but think it'd be
 useful.
 
 pyrite
 
 fools gold
 
 use it for what it's worth
 
 not for how it glitters and moans
 
 wa, wawaWAwa
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--- #167 messages/320 ---
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 I wear diapers. I fucking hate diapers.
 
 I go in cycles with it. Waves, if you will. Sometimes I'll say "screw this I'm
 sick of them for one of many reasons I'm going to put in the effort and do all
 the kegels and just fucking handle it" and like, that sorta works. At least,
 most of the time.
 
 The thing about diapers is that while yes, you only need to think about your
 bodily functions like, twice a day, when you do it's more acute. It takes like
 10 minutes to change, it generates trash that you have to throw away, it's
 literally pissing on cash made out of plastic fossil fuels, it smells, it's
 loud (fuck the noise) and its a pain in the ass when you get diaper rash. Ugh
 I hate it.
 
 So, sometimes I say "fuck it" and I go without. And it works most of the time.
 But eventually after getting piss on the carpet one too many times, after
 throwing away your favorite underwear AGAIN, after trying your best to face
 away from people so they don't see the wet spot on your butt... Eventually you
 think "hey maybe diapers aren't that bad" and the cycle repeats.
 
 And look, I know I'm traumatized. I've been dealing with my own shit since I
 was a kid. But, like, therapy won't help me get to the toilet. A doctor's not
 going to be able to fix my brain deciding "hey I want to piss myself right now
 for no fucking reason at all", and yeah my muscles aren't great so sure I can
 exercise them or whatever.
 
 But there have been times in my life when I've had a pelvic floor as strong as
 steel, and it didn't fucking help. Because my brain is stupid.
 
 I can feel it happening (most of the time, sometimes it surprises me like "oh
 weird I can't remember peeing my pants") and I usually have at least enough
 notice to clamp down (if I'm quick) but, like, I am constantly stressed out
 about it. I'm constantly on guard, waiting for it to happen. It's fucking
 exhausting.
 
 God forbid I have a public accident. Those are the fucking worst. And though I
 try my hardest, a year doesn't go by when I don't have at least one. If I'm
 diapered (as I fucking should be, tbh) then I can handle it. If not, then I'm
 fucked and I'm mentally a wreck for the rest of the day. Sorry @ everyone
 who's smelled me throughout my whole life.
 
 I don't think it's a physical issue, I was (briefly) checked out as a kid and
 they didn't find anything wrong. I think they thought I was faking because I
 couldn't manage to pee in a cup. Whatever.
 
 And I've read basically everything on the Internet about this. Apparently 40%
 of cases (across all age groups) are idiopathic, meaning there's no known
 cause. I wonder what percentage is because people are like, into it sexually?
 
 I admit I look at that kind of porn. It makes me feel corroded inside. I think
 I do it to relive my trauma in some fucked up way, like "oh wouldn't it be
 nice if a witch cursed me and now I pee my pants" instead of the harsher
 reality where its like "no you're just like this" which, sucks, not gonna lie.
 
 It's kinda made me asexual, I think, because I don't want anyone to be around
 it. I don't want anyone to think about it, I don't want it to be real, it's
 just. Fucked. I guess. Whatever.
 
 Did I mention how much I hate how loud it is to change? It fills me with dread
 whenever that time comes around. I often put it off as long as I can because I
 just... Don't want to think about it. And then it overflows and leaks and its
 even worse because now I have to wash my pants. Or, like, not, and just let
 them dry, because I'm a disgusting human being who has no right to a clean and
 decent life. Fuck me I should live in a bog, with all the bugs and the toads
 and other various gross things.
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--- #168 fediverse/5897 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
 ┌──────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: political-violence-mentioned │
 └──────────────────────────────────┘


 the reason the right is hurt that you'd celebrate charlie's death is because
 they hired an actor to perform him to one side and he does his natural self to
 the other. maybe he was a really big cutie, nobody can tell, because it's
 pretty much like hand-waving on narkina 12.
 
 it's okay to hate the version you've been shown
 
 fuck that kind of cowardly assault
 
 propaganda? and at this hour?
 
 she's made out of midnight, she's suffused in the stuff. it permeates her form
 elementally, because she's a witch, tee hee.
 
 why would magic work if it wasn't a performance? there always is a source from
 where it must flow.
 
 == jeez I just got mind controlled, wacky ==
 
 *she's **essential* izing**. usually that means she's been playing dominions.
 
 my family and I always used to fight. we got so good at navigating it. like,
 storms, that the earth called, that we had to sail through to maintain our
 relation orbits.
 
 == stack overflow =======================================================
== stack overflow ==  I have no idea why people don't write office software for anbernics. it's a... small handheld console that runs linux. well, some of them run android, but they're not as good.
                                                           ──────┐
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--- #169 fediverse/4754 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────
 @user-1201 
 
 once my country elected a fascist I started thinking. I realized "oh, it's
 always been that way, this one just doesn't hide it" and so I started thinking
 about the bread and circuses they so generously provided me.
 
 I miss video games. Sometimes I play for an hour or two but only when I am
 feeling burnt out.
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--- #170 fediverse/461 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────┐
 │ CW: alcohol-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────┘


 I was raised in a jungle gym. Like... literally. I am not going to hurt you,
 and if I did it'd be both a mistake and something that you could easily
 recover from. We are infinitely adaptable, us humans, and we can address any
 concerns that behest us. Behest? confront? something like that. Brb my blood
 alcohol content is a little low. Also I haven't eaten anything today but
 bacardi and chocolate chip cookies. I bet another cookie will solve this
 problem.
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--- #171 fediverse/5791 ---
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 yay I'm back from a long, LONG bike ride! I think it's always important to       │
 decompress after such an intense concentration of mystic thoughts, so I'm        │
 going to write my notes into a notepad on my computer and then who even KNOWS    │
 if they'll be the same as what I wrote next time I turn on the computer! Haha    │
 that sort of thing happens but the good news is that the most important stuff    │
 always ends up staying written down.                                             │
 anyway I won't bore you with the specifics until I'm done writing in like 10     │
 hours or whatever, but it's important to know that I'm feeling SO alive right    │
 now, total happiness and excitement.                                             │
 Yes, there is danger, like no thank you I don't want to be blacksited, least     │
 of all to another country - at least if my own country does it I know how to     │
 appeal to their patriotism, their religion, their soul... if I don't even        │
 speak the language, that makes it intensely difficult - not impossible, but      │
 difficult - to regain my intended trajectory.                                    │
 ... haha that was weird idk where that came from anyway gtg                      │
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--- #172 fediverse/5447 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────
 ┌───────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cursing-mentioned-andor-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────────────────────┘


 It's funny, I've seen Andor season 1 twice now and the first time was when it
 aired live.
 
 It felt so much more invigorating to my soul the first time. I wondered why,
 and I believe the reason is because it inspired me to go out and be brave as
 fuck. People were terrified, I saw it in their faces. It felt like the scenes
 on coruscant where everyone keeps their head down and looks around warily.
 
 Now, things are fucking great outside. You can go on a walk and see people in
 the park. I love that.
 
 I guess it didn't hit me the same way the second time around because I made
 progress on my "own personal revolution" (nemik to skene) and now the fear
 feels distant.
 
 Season 2 was pretty great. Gonna watch that again soon.
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--- #173 fediverse/1200 ---
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 ┌─────────────────────────────┐                                                  │
 │ CW: re: deranged, murderous │                                                  │
 └─────────────────────────────┘                                                  │
 @user-883                                                                        │
 omgggggg I'm not that cruel xD xD xD                                             │
 It's more like, "hey listen, I know you just want to do a good job [lies, they   │
 just want money and power] but it's time to hang up the hat y'know? I mean       │
 cmon it's been like a hundred years since we signed that constitution thing      │
 [you don't know anything about our history] and frankly it's a little out of     │
 style. We were thinking we'd redo it with our new-fangled rock-and-roll and      │
 dungeons-and-dragons [cultural artifacts meant to deceive and mislead] and       │
 honestly we're quite a bit more ethical than the past. We've learned so much!    │
 I mean, the founding fathers didn't even know what a soviet was, and here        │
 we've seen them fall on their swords. Repeatedly. Then command others to do it   │
 too, because it was the regulation or whatever. Anyway we don't want that, but   │
 we also don't want an aristocracy, which is essentially what your plan gave      │
 us. Well, not really your plan, but instead the stuff that the rich added        │
 centuries after your death. ok?"                                                 │
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--- #174 messages/45 ---
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 Description of me:
 
 I enjoy talking about esoteric topics, I can visualize pretty well so I tend
 to have unique analogies, I am kind and compassionate, I try and empathize
 with everyone (especially my enemies), I love plants, animals, and nature, I'm
 very solution focused so I often start by defining the situation, defining the
 problem, and then creating a solution that navigates whatever blockers are
 ahead. I'm willing to follow the designs of others and offer my concerns or
 input rather than trying to be the leader at the center. I am generally calm,
 and can evaluate a situation both objectively, and subjectively from the
 perspective of all those involved. I specialize in mediation, and encouraging
 incompatible viewpoints toward accommodation. I try to follow my heart when I
 can, because I know my brain will only listen when it's a good idea. I admire
 independence and I strive to be as determined as I can, but I also am not
 afraid to rely on others and I'm quick to ask for assistance when I know I'm
 in the dark -  it's better to be correct than unique. I value family,
 goodness, perseverance, and continuous growth and learning. I believe all
 problems can be resolved, and all wrongs be righted.
──────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #175 fediverse/4526 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: mental-health    │
 └──────────────────────┘


 most people get intrusive thoughts like "punch that baby" or "drink some
 gasoline"
 
 my intrusive thoughts are like "who is she" and "we need you" and "lead us"
 and "their strength is imagined" and stuff like that
 
 gosh I don't know how ya'll handle it I'd be dead in a ditch if I was
 neurotypical.
 
 ... intrusive thoughts are not typical
 
 ah. Right. Nevermind then.
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--- #176 fediverse/4202 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────┐
 reconnecting with an old love interest by saying "hey, I brought you a bounty"   │
 [the chance to date this person, who is my friend and totally cool. idk if       │
 you're single or whatever but you can talk to them about it, not my business I   │
 don't care. Anyway how's it going I wondered if you want to be friends also I    │
 live here now, can I stay for a few weekends?                                    │
 um. what the fuck                                                                │
 oh I'm uh, on vacation and I wanted to tour the countryside. Really check out    │
 all the various locales.                                                         │
 huh really? sounds neat                                                          │
 yeah and I figured since you live in... baker's street northwest eastern         │
 plaza. on the south side of the building, I could totally hang out for a while   │
 while I while the day away checking out the sights in this town                  │
 what... uh what kind of work do you do?                                          │
 oh I'm a painter. Well, I draw things too sometimes. Here I can show you check   │
 it out - oh yeah cool idk if you've ever seen any of this stuff but it's         │
 pretty cool.                                                                     │
 ...                                                                              │
 hey here's my website:                                                           │
 ...                                                                              │
 anyway how's the weather where you're at these days, gtg bye                     │
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--- #177 fediverse/2381 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 I smile at each and every person I pass on the street. Unless it looks like
 they're having a bad day, and then I try to switch to neutral as fast as I can
 so they can feel their feelings without me interjecting and making it about me.
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--- #178 fediverse/4024 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
 my cat doesn't know that my family is my family. She thinks they're just some
 other people who visit the house.
 
 but they're special to me, as all people are, and I think she takes notice.
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--- #179 fediverse/5894 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: nowhere-do-I-see-evil-politics-mentioned-political-violence-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 you could type this on a phone
 
 screenshots though is computer.
 
 you'd have to carry it around
 
 or keep it in your hot car
 
 no thanks, no space.
 
 goodbye, everything you ever worked for
 
 why wouldn't you have cameras covering every entrance to your studio? it's not
 right to leave it all to a whim
 
 kidnapped
 made a prisoner while you
 froliced and wandered like a little lamb
 you're so dumb, you dumbass, what kind of person could be dumb
 whatever girl, we know you're smart
 what are you hiding?
 what truths are you spying?
 are you really as you say you are,
 or are you faking it for [truth-awards, but pronounced clout]
the trick isn't to overcome them. much better to convince them of your side. if you can earnestly present your best and most brilliant intanations to a willing and captive audience, a presentation or a performance or a play  you can trick them into your state of consciousness. all you gotta do, really, is act for them, and they'll get along with them plenty.  == stack overflow ==  your foes are primarily concerned   with how you'd do   if you           turned evil.  power is penance, not sin. it is a service            to be hallowed a whim.  to guide and steer upright     guided upon their own whim               [toward]  [ri-tselen-menardi]  ew, she's got a diaper fetish  -- evil witch >;  | --   evil wizard -- | :< -- brave paladin good, overall,   [264 characters remaining] if you never lie to someone, they can't hurt you. *enemies* what are you a child stupid. why are you so traumatic. "omg you were like, obsessed with her" *haunted the future* what do you think that meant grrrrr I wanna stab through one. hence, sword *fuck nazis* there are people alive who were hurt by them. GREVIOUS WOUNDINGS TO THE WORLD'S ECONOMY. yeah. right. economy.  [oops political violence mentioned, lemme add a content warning one sec:] Image attachment
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--- #180 fediverse/4275 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
 @user-1646 
 
 I usually just repost it and say something like: [stolen from reddit] or
 [stolen from one of my followers who didn't write any alt text]
 
 that way if they ever come across your post they'll know what it feels like to
 have a post stolen from them. Like how a blind person, happy to hear-read what
 they originally posted, but aggrieved from the conversation by their lack of
 alt-textual information, might feel stolen from if they happened across that
 originally posted alt-textless post.
 
 there are more blind people that use mastodon than queer people. At least,
 that's what I once heard. Dunno if it's true.
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--- #181 fediverse/4757 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────
 @user-882 
 
 I kinda figure that people follow me for the alarms and the curses and the
 manic political dysphoria. I do try and CW when I can but sometimes I get to
 the end and it's like... okay I got 4 characters remaining, pol~ maybe?
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--- #182 fediverse/4180 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
 @user-1639 
 
 or nobody sees it, because you post the things you say on the internet in 2024
 which is so siloed and echo-chambered that the only people who hear it say
 "tru tho" and "she just like me fr" and never change because of your words
 
 ... wait that's just what you said, but made more specific, isn't it?
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--- #183 fediverse/3672 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cursing-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────┘


 there's something kinda... liberating about working with computers at work.
 
 you always know that worst case scenario, even if you totally fuck up the
 system configuration, you can always reimage the machine.
 
 so... who cares! if you can't get something working, just fucking try shit
 until it works. Whack it with a software hammer. See what happens.
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--- #184 fediverse/800 ---
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 ┌───────────────────────────────────┐                                            │
 │ CW: re: scary - suicide mentioned │                                            │
 └───────────────────────────────────┘                                            │
 where was I? oh yes - wrestling with suicidal thoughts is difficult because      │
 it's such an immutable action. Like, once it's done it's never reversed. But     │
 like, clearly this is hell and life was built for suffering? What the heck,      │
 that's such a grim outlook on life.                                              │
 ...                                                                              │
 yeah                                                                             │
 ...                                                                              │
 you're not wrong                                                                 │
 ...                                                                              │
 but suffering is fun? kinda? like, the only positive way to view this is that    │
 we, as immortal and endlessly eternal spirits that we be, grew tired of our      │
 infinite existence and dreamed of a mortal's plight and persistence?             │
 fuck off with that shit, I'm done with this reality. I'm done with dreaming.     │
 Suicide doesn't come easy to me, and there are parts of me that REFUSE the       │
 imagery, and yet they subsist in deliterious pain.                               │
 what's the purpose of our suffering? What point is there in decrying the         │
 cruelty of the world that would deny our fated and desired ptolemeny? [utopian   │
 existence, don't know why that word was used]                                    │
 ehhhhh whatever. Life is defined by our existence. If I shan't/                  │
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--- #185 fediverse/555 ---
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 │ CW: re: unnecessarily-combative-sorry-smiley-face-silly │
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 @user-398 
 
 That's fair, you have to seek him out at this point I think. Sorry again for
 being so combative I don't actually feel that strongly about it, I just like
 being silly.
 
 https://youtu.be/EorJ8cEzsZo?si=DEQ_NejDYfvSuvfO
 
 EDIT: Here's a better example I think:
 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VBKgPmS5Fyw
 
 Here's an example of a modern incarnation that might be easier to view than
 the older stuff.
 
 His personality is silly, earnest, genuine, expressive, and friendly. Most of
 the comedy of his stories come from interactions with the environment and the
 creative solutions used to accomplish goals and tasks.
 
 I like to view his perspective as 100% valid and reflective of the world he
 inhabits, which essentially grants him (and others around him) reality warping
 powers which I think is more interesting than just dismissing it as a silly
 cartoon. Through that lens each situation he encounters is an exercise in
 rapid creativity and weaponized logic, which is kinda cool to a witch like me.
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--- #186 notes/what-is-on-your-mind-oh-gosh-now-i-see ---
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 that feeling i get, when nobody's watching.
 is sorta similar to the feeling i get when somebody's watching.
 could it be, that someone could percieve without being seen?
 like... an invisibility cloak. or the shroud that protects young children.
 
 have you ever been hunted? or are you just eager prey?
 the eyes that are on you are blind to what you won't do, so cherish that love
 and restart
 
 from mine to thine we realize we are one kind. one mind, one kind, to be is not
 to be, now we can see what's our existence.
 
 good versus evil seems like a conflict to me, and wouldn't ya know it there's
 conflict all over. it's easy to condemn your opponent to the starkest of
 contrasts, but find in your heart a feeling that might last.
 
 what purpose has conviction
 when it leads to destruction
 is it not better to lead to the last?
 
 bright, shining, illustrious examples
 that inspire and 
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 those feelings you hear? the things that keep you up at night?
 they're not coming from your ears. they're all in your mind.
 stay present and you'll hear none,
 but blink and then there's some,
 you better believe in your heart.
 morality is a battle within the soul of each of us -
 the call of adventure versus lust.
 
 think about it. a bunch of apes all hanging out -
 they're conquered the world, they have nothing to fear -
 what would they do but fuck?
 that, or exploration - fighting against monsters and foreign invasions.
 it makes sense that they'd be binary - humans truly are.
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--- #187 fediverse/2211 ---
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 I know that a normal life is what you wanted. It's what I want, too. But don't   │
 shoot the messenger; they took it once, from you.                                │
 I know you wanted to be happy. You still can be, it's true! Your life is but a   │
 story, and your heart does shine through.                                        │
 I know it seems unending. Ive never seen it rain like this monsoon! It seems     │
 to just get worse and worse, every time you turn on the tube.                    │
 It's not something that can be suffered, it's rising past your shoes. But        │
 they're on borrowed time, and Death will soon be repaid his dues.                │
 They say that when the whole village hates the preacher, his flock becomes a     │
 pack. And frankly I think we're all just a bit sick, of the lies that keep       │
 their sins intact.                                                               │
 When swallowed by endless traumas, and hope is enshrouded in gloom, there's      │
 not much to work for, except the aversion of our shared doom.                    │
 There are no grand narratives, no great and calamitous struggle. Just the        │
 moments of honored resistance, against a foe too broad to wrestle.               │
 At least, if you're alone. You're not.                                           │
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--- #188 fediverse/6363 ---
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 somehow it feels so difficult to work on my projects. I really haven't a         │
 single clue why.                                                                 │
 HMMM COULD IT BE BECAUSE YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE OUTSIDE WALKING AROUND WRITING    │
 PICTURES OF CATS ON NOTEPAD PAPER AND LEAVING IT AMONGST THE FALLEN LEAVES?      │
 THINK, MENARDI, THINK                                                            │
 gosh I wish I had the motivation to write this webcomic scraper, it's been in    │
 my backlog for a year at this point                                              │
 WHY DON'T YOU BUILD TOOLS THAT BUILD COMMUNITY LIKE COLLECTIVIZED VIDEO GAMES    │
 OR SYSTEMS OF DISTRIBUTION AND CREATION?                                         │
 gee I'm feeling kinda lazy, sure hope it doesn't get permanently added to my     │
 character sheet                                                                  │
 SLOTHFUL: -1 to all stats, -5 to vassal opinion, -5 to personal combat skill,    │
 -10 to ambitious and zealous characters, +10 to greedy characters because they   │
 can take advantage of you, enables the hesitant commander tactical choice        │
 because you're too FUCKIN' LAZY (and too hard on yourself, jeez calm down)       │
 ..... nah couldn't be me. I'm certainly not diligent, but I work hard. It's      │
 just hard to work myself up to getting up...                                     │
a screenshot of the slothful sin from crusader kings 2. It shows various character stat maluses, and one tiny bonus.
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--- #189 fediverse/1358 ---
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 │ CW: content warning: content warning: scary cursed maybe │
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 when you're rich with something, you don't treat it with respect. like, if we
 lived in a paper cup maximizer, we'd soon be swimming in the things. obviously
 there needs to be some rules, obviously we need to say "okay here's where we
 produce this amount and type of materials." and have it be a one-way
 relationship. yeah one way isn't gonna work. this is from the other way, and
 now I'm realizing "oh hey I don't know how this thing works" and like... what
 are you supposed to do then right
 
 weird how it all feels like it's ending. like, what a strangeness to our
 plight. like, how are we even talking to our brain? how strange! these words
 are sung to you by your computer (content warning:
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--- #190 fediverse/4179 ---
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 okay, so, you could spend the next couple hours scrolling social media
 
 or you could go for a walk in the rain
 
 ... is it raining where you're at? I forget. Ah well whatever. You could go
 for a walk, whether or not it's in the rain, which surely would be a better
 use of your time. What are you gonna find on social media that you'll remember
 in a week? Hell, what will you remember tomorrow?
 
 my mother used to tell me that "television rots your brain" and, yeah, social
 media counts for that too. Thanks mom. I miss you.
 
 ... I could just call you, but it's the middle of the night for you. And
 probably for me, I guess, WINK
 
 in any case there's little to do today that can't wait for tomorrow. So why
 not go on a walk? Even if nothing happens, especially if nothing happens,
 it'll be good for you.
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--- #191 fediverse/1401 ---
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 some people are the memory kind of autistic, where they know everything about    │
 a thing and it's the coolest thing                                               │
 I'm more like... the optimizing autistic, where everything has to be perfect.    │
 and if it's not perfect, then you should change it. and if you can't change      │
 it, then you should tell someone else to change it. and if nobody can change     │
 it, then you should consider it part of the context / starting variable and      │
 then just say "okay" and treat it like it's normal and something you should      │
 use to inform the rest of your optimization actions / decisions.                 │
 other people are other kinds of autistic that's not a comprehensive              │
 classification system. But I mention the first kind explicitly so I can          │
 contrast it with my experience, which is implied to be [impulsively?]            │
 different in the kind portrayed in the following contrastion, where I mention    │
 how I'm autistic and don't get "irony" or "sarcasm" that people on the           │
 internet seem to revel in in a way that makes me feel isolated and anyway        │
 optimization is great becaus                                                     │
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--- #192 fediverse/1431 ---
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 if you haven't spend hours wondering if you're god, the antichrist, a
 cognitohazard, the future president of the world, a target of aliens / the
 CIA, or any other number of common delusions... then congratulations you're
 probably not crazy
 
 but odds are you aren't magic, either.
 
 ... ehhhh "wonder" is a strong word, more like "know, trust, and believe"
 
 much better to be a witch I believe, someone with the "teehee" kind of magic
 than someone compelled to destroy humanity through the reactions of others to
 the actions of the self that are impossible to resist or fully control.
 
 BRB I'm going to leave my apartment to get groceries, leaving my door unlocked
 because that's what I always do, surely it'll be empty when I return. Surely.
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--- #193 fediverse/3645 ---
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 me, sitting down at my computer in order to be distracted:
 
 "I should make and eat a sandwich"
 
 me, sitting down at my computer with a PB&J and peanut-butter fingers:
 
 "I should be productive"
 
 me, sitting at my "work desk":
 
 "I'm hungry. And I'm bored. And I can't stop thinking about this video game I
 haven't played in a year."
 
 repeat
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--- #194 fediverse/4500 ---
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 ┌─────────────────────────────────────┐                                          │
 │ CW: cursing-mentioned-CW-motivation │                                          │
 └─────────────────────────────────────┘                                          │
 I try to always CW for cursing. Every time I do, I imagine it being read aloud   │
 for a blind person while their children sit on their lap and ask "daddy what's   │
 a motherfucker?" "well, that's me, son" and then the kid goes to preschool and   │
 says "My dad fucks my mother!" and they get kicked out so the dad has to take    │
 extra shifts to pay for babysitting and the kid grows up without proper          │
 socialization and the mother becomes an alcoholic and cries herself to sleep     │
 while the dad begins exploring motorcycles and weed and then the kid grows up    │
 to be an incel or whatever                                                       │
 THIS is why CWs are important! Think of the poor regular-looking but kinda       │
 annoying dorks on the internet who self-impose celibacy because they're scared   │
 of emotional connection. The poor dears. I do hope they don't join the           │
 alt-right or whatever as a way of (Ritz this is like, ancient discourse why      │
 are you aping that one Contrapoints video) oh um yeah uh... CWs are important    │
 and I think that's where I'll toot and leave                                     │
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--- #195 fediverse/745 ---
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 quintessential friend group:                                                     │
 the smart one                                                                    │
 the cute one                                                                     │
 the one who can swing a bat                                                      │
 the one who has a list of all the Nazis in the area because they hacked their    │
 email account and know who purchased nazi memorabilia                            │
 the friendly one who's always down to hang out                                   │
 the outdoorsy one                                                                │
 the fed                                                                          │
 the one who's always cooking something                                           │
 the one who's perfectly fine in silence                                          │
 the one who never lets a room go silent (unless everyone else wants to just      │
 chill of course - hey anyone wanna go on a walk? it's a great day)               │
 the one who's good with animals                                                  │
 the one who's smile you can't get out of your head                               │
 the one who's drop-dead gorgeous                                                 │
 and the one who's always telling her that                                        │
 the one who's friends with everyone,                                             │
 and the one who's knitting a hat                                                 │
 the one who knows each street in your city                                       │
 and the one who knows your favorite kind of candy                                │
 There's more friends than that, of which I am quite sure                         │
 Who's on your list? Who would find you if you disappeared?                       │
 Mine's got a few, fewer than this one, but few is fine.                          │
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--- #196 fediverse/2518 ---
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 it's good to be ethical,
 it's good to be kind,
 
 but there will always be assholes,
 and sometimes you're not having a good time
 
 it's okay
 it's fine
 
 assholes deserve life
 times deserve others to be kind
 
 life is not always interesting
 and that's often by design
 
 the moments of clarity,
 the moments of heart,
 
 these are what define you
 and display your own spark.
 
 trust in yourself.
 be kind to one another.
 
 you are braver than you know,
 and always a bit wiser.
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--- #197 fediverse/1271 ---
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 │ CW: re: sliiight sadness, nostalgia │
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 @user-883 
 
 the future is what we make of it. it happens both slower and faster than
 imaginable, and it's not evenly distributed.
 
 when I yearn for the future, I find myself drawn to the past - the natural
 world around me inspires me in ways that my computer never could. Just as my
 computer inspires me in ways that a tree, a brook, a cloud alight might not.
 
 though the future may be terrifying, we're here for it together. And nothing
 has changed in our humanity, save for our slight addiction to social media.
 frankly I'd take social media over leaded gasoline any day!
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--- #198 fediverse/200 ---
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 congratulations, you never need to adventure again. your necessities are taken
 care of.
 
 ah, but that'd make for a pretty boring life, wouldn't it? perhaps, depending
 on your personality type.
 
 but you're not one to stick around doing nothing but eating, drinking, and
 being merry.
 
 no, you're an adventurer, you crave excitement and glory. whatever that means
 to you...
 
 just make sure a goblin doesn't come across your corpse, they have a VERY
 short term memory and a propensity for collecting shiny things. That's just
 asking for dragon-bait, and we don't want that in our area, no thank you. This
 is a nice neighborhood you see, my neighbors three miles away all agree, so
 you can take your magic pocket and see all that you can see... way over
 yonder, if you please.
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--- #199 fediverse/2832 ---
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 when people ask what I do I don't say "art" because I'd do that anyway.
 
 my art is precious to me, because it is the most "me" I can conceive.
 
 and like... I can carry it with me to the future.
 
 I have only once given away one of my journals, and it was a wedding present
 to a witch or two.
 
 so yeah I'm an artist, but I'm also whatever you need me to do.
 
 and yes, I of course hope that what you need me to do is what I can do.
 
 because I can't do much more than this.
 
 But I can show up every once in a while,
 
 and maybe make you smile or consider,
 
 and maybe I can ride past on my bike.
 
 but that's the human in me, telling me it's time to move with my feet, and I
 can do little but listen.
 
 ... that should make doxxing me a bit easier. have it it : )
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--- #200 fediverse/2559 ---
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 @user-1056 
 
 my ex would absolutely fall in love with you
 
 like, in a good way. he's a good person.
 
 he did just break up with me, though. so maybe wait a bit before I hook you up
 if you're into that.
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